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thenightfolknetwork · 26 days

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I am an antichrist.

The Real thing, born to a seventh virgin daughter after her soul was consumed by my father, Satan, in a ritual of fire, glory and light.

I was raised as instructed by The Book— Don't ask which Book, you don't want to know, the knowledge would melt your eardrums— to be the destroyer of the world, the prince of sins and the devourer of souls. I am the One Who Will Bring Fire to the earth, I am the One who will run the blood of innocents through the streets and boil the sea with my mere desire, I am the dark side of the moon, I am humanity's nightmare, I am—

I am 12 years old.

And I'm at school.

I just learned about ecosystems: The delicate balance of a food chain, the harmony that exists in the earth when a network of fungi extracts nitrogen from the earth and a rotting tree leaves the soil rich for next spring.

I found out about corals recently too. They are alive and an extremely complex life form for something that will never move, corals don't die as long as nothing kills them, isn't that a strange and wonderful concept?

I always wanted to be the World Destroyer.

It never occurred to me that bringing hell to earth would mean no deer or bees or coyotes.

If you increase the average sea temperature by more than two degrees, millions of corals will die. I don't know if I want to boil the sea if that's the end result.

But I am the Antichrist and I like being the Antichrist. I like to be Apotheosis, the crack in the glass, the rotten apple, the mercury in the water.

But I also like the world as it is, even if it doesn't bow down to me in fear.

What do I do?

(What do I say to my father?)

This is the problem with prophecies – they always put the subject under such a tremendous amount of pressure! I feel sure that, if your father had simply not mentioned his plans for your future, you would have grown up without these anxieties and likely gone on to fulfil your unholy purpose without a second thought, in a time frame that felt sensible and natural to you.

Instead, you've been burdened with a terrible and unreasonable amount of responsibility. No wonder you're feeling torn! This is more than any twelve year old should have to consider.

The important thing to remember is that you don't have to make a decision about this right away. You are the Antichrist and you will remain the Antichrist while you take a little while to decide the best course of action for you. The end of the world will still be there when you're ready for it.

As to the apocalypse itself, this is the other reason prophecies can be so frustrating. They are simply never specific enough to be helpful. Yes, you may be destined to end the world – but which world, exactly? And how much of that 'blood of innocents, boiling seas' stuff is literal, and how much is just a religious scribe getting carried away with himself?

In my experience, there are many, many ways a person might fulfil a prophecy without having to bring a fiery demise to this particular realm of existence. You might take a short hop over to another reality and destroy an uninhabited world, for example.

Alternatively, you might take your prophecy in a more metaphorical sense. “The world” we live in today is one that allows billionaires and business magnates destroy our environment in the name of profit. Perhaps you could fulfil your great purpose by destroying the social and political structures that make that world possible.

I understand your trepidation about bringing this up with your father. However, I really do think that you should consider it. Looking after you is his job, after all, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you struggling with these feelings alone. Reach out to him, and let him know how you feel.

You don’t have to decide this all at once. Whatever else you say to your father, you need to make it clear that you will not be embarking on any sort of apotheosis until you've at least finished your GCSEs. You are a child, and you deserve to have a proper childhood, whatever the future might hold for you.

#answered #the nightfolk network #monstrous agonies

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vaspider · 2 months

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Yo, so this is less so a specific ask and more me having the need to verbalize some stuff with the option of getting input from someone with a more knowledgable perspective. I have been thinking a fair bit about Judaism and dabbling with the idea of converting to it. I don’t think it’s something for me, but I am tentatively thinking about the option.

The thing is. I assume you’re familiar with the difference between hard magic and soft magic systems in writing. (If not, the tldr is hard magic is defined with hard rules and limitations and soft magic is more ambiguous and fluid.) And I think my basic thing is that I am very open to what you could call soft spirituality and faith, but unable to jell with any hard beliefs.

For example I can never get myself to really entertain the idea of an afterlife being set up in a very specific way with specific rules and where you know what is happening and why. But I saw that tweet that went around a while ago that was like “I hope that death is like being a child at a party and falling asleep, so somebody carries you to bed and I hope when I die I can still hear the laughter from the other room” and that fucked me up beyond words.

I have gone through a couple religions and beliefs over my life and never found a framework that really fit with me, but in the past couple of years I have developed a lot and realized I have a yearning for spiritual things. My current view could probably best be described as a pantheist leaning agnostic enamored with the idea of belief and experience shaping purpose and giving structure… sort of. As well as the power of belief and to change the way you see the world for the better. It’s hard to explain specifically the angle I like.

The reason I am caught up on Judaism rn is that in a lot of ways it seems to be based around a lot of soft spirituality. I am absolutely in love with the idea that god, or the divine, or spirit, whatever one may call it is not something concrete, not one existence, but more of a force like the laws of physics, or the rules of math. I adore the idea of little rituals and rules to bring god into your life and through that connecting you to culture and history and people and community and spirituality. I love the idea you talked about some time in the past of the four kinds of jews, based on studying the scriptures and following the rules, and that even those who do neither are still a vital part of the jewish people and are needed for it to be whole. There’s so many little details that appeal to me so strongly, because they’re exactly the kind of stuff I am yearning for.

But I feel like the hard aspects keep me away. I love the idea of rules and rituals to shape your life, but I don’t think I could follow the rules of Judaism, because having a preset set of rules feels too hard for me. Similarly I love the idea of studying the texts and the never ending pursuit of decifering the meaning and arguing about it, but I don’t think I could get interested in ever doing it, because having a specific text to do it with is too hard.

So I feel very conflicted, because the way Judaism feels to me from the outside, it shows me both the soft aspects of spirituality I absolutely adore and yearn for, and at the same time the hard aspects that keep me away from religion. And they feel very connected and interwoven.

And it feels like especially as a convert being a part of it is connected with a huge amount of the hard aspects and a lot of work that goes into those. I’d have to first figure out if there is even any jewish denominations (is that the right word?) near where I live that don’t do circumcision and that aren’t on the conservative side (I have no idea how the situation is where I live) and then do all the studies and the entire process involved in converting (which I admittedly don’t know very much about either, so I might be overstating this) to be part of something I would immediately take a half step away from because I’m only really interested in the ideas behind the actual elements of it and not as much the elements themselves if that makes sense?

I guess this is pretty rambly, but maybe you have some input, or something smart to say and if not I hope I’m not coming across as this guy right now:

I think that in the process of writing this ask, you seem to have figured out that this isn't for you right now. If you get to a point where all of those things aren't standing in your way but are a to-do list, that will be when you know it's for you.

And they're generally called movements, not denominations.

#very old ask #Judaism

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msfcatlover · 1 year

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Every Monster Can’t Be Your Kid, Bruce.

Inspired really heavily by You, Me, and the Humanity in Between by JUBE514, which I misunderstood the first time I read it and thought they were all going to be different types of monsters. So Dick & Jason are very close to that story in their origins here. You should absolutely read that fic, because it’s fantastic, but the major take away for my AU is that if you pour enough love into something, it can come to life, and the more life & love it carries the more “real” that life becomes.

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Dick is an antique doll, handed down through generations of Graysons, becoming gradually more alive & aware as time went on. It was John Grayson and eventually his wife Mary who managed to tip Dick over into being animate even when people were watching him. Dick only became more & more real from there, as John & Mary shared their love of flying with him, and eventually shared the spotlight & love of their audience. The circus as a whole saw Dick as a blessing, being fully aware of his inhuman nature but accepting him as a source of good luck… until John & Mary fell, leaving their doll-son behind. Dick could actually see his place in the family he’d been part of turn towards superstitious whispers, as his movements stiffened and his joints became more visible. He wasn’t anyone’s good luck charm anymore.

Bruce also saw how everyone turned on that poor little boy, and rushed to give Dick a place to stay, haunted by the whispers of his own childhood that found ways to blame Bruce for what happened to Thomas & Martha Wayne. Bruce isn’t exactly great at expressing his love, but Dick never needs to doubt it when he can see & feel the evidence right there in his own body. And when Robin met the rest of the hero community, they loved him too, giving Dick the chance to actually grow up for the first time in almost 150yrs.

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The first thing Jason ever experienced was love, as the city itself brought him to life. The second thing was freedom, as Jason slipped from the rooftop he’d been carved for and for the first time experienced flight. The third was agony, as Jason struck the ground and his wings snapped right off.

Jason’s not technically a gargoyle. Gargoyles are structurally important, directing water away from the building, and basically never come to life. Jason is a grotesque, carved for decoration & to ward off evil spirits. Without any family to go to, Jason stuck to that second job, protecting the people of his neighborhood as best he could. Batman investigated what he thought was a new vigilante, and found a boy carved from solid stone who could almost pass for human if he stayed out of the light. Bruce worried Jason would suffer the same rejection Dick had, and offered Jason a home; it took some convincing to tempt Jason away from his territory, as it is in Jason’s nature to stay in place in order to protect, but eventually Jason agreed in exchange for training.

(The new Robin doesn’t bend or jerk the way the last one did, but he hits the ground like a meteor strike, and rakes gouges in brick with his claws. He doesn’t shatter & grin through any injury, because most weapons glance off or shatter themselves against his stony skin.)

(Joker submerged a boy carved from centuries-old limestone in an acid bath, and by the time it was drained there wasn’t enough left to animate. Bruce still called every magician he knew, hoping to hear someone say Jason was still alive despite that.)

(Talia had a marble sculpture carved, and had what was retrieved from Jason’s coffin sealed at its core. It still took one hell of a ritual to bring him back, now with a tail that lashed & wings that swept the ground behind him to go with the fangs & claws he’d always had. The new body was perfect in the way only sculptures can be, and Jason just kept himself covered up rather than bother painting & repainting color onto his skin every time he went out in public, lacking the love to lock it in.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tim was the opposite of his brothers. If you love something, anything, you can bring it to life; if something goes unloved & ignored, on the other hand… Tim just slowly faded into the background of his own life. Nobody talked to him at galas. His parents overlooked him at dinner. Other kids avoided him, while staff wouldn’t look him in the eye. Until one day Tim’s teacher was calling attendance and called Tim’s name three times before Tim abruptly stood up, chair screeching across the floor, and snapped, “I said, I’m right here!” The whole class stared wide-eyed, as though Tim has appeared from nowhere.

Tim learned to take advantage of it. He learned what he could do, as something reality itself sometimes ignored (if Tim closes his eyes and has no one else observing him, he can even bypass laws of physics to move through walls or take a few steps out on open air.) Tim tried to convince himself it was just meta-powers manifesting, and it was pure coincidence how closely his condition mirrored mythical Echo (at least people always hear her voice.)

The only time it doesn’t work is if someone wants to notice Tim. A paradox, as first they need to know the true Tim well enough to want to notice him, rather than their own preconceived notion of Tim or one of the masks that Tim puts on. On the plus side, once Tim became Robin that meant he had people he could reach out to who would answer the phone & talk him through it when reality felt especially swimmy or Tim’s own sense of self might waver. Being overlooked is also just one hell of a superpower, and Tim puts it to good use.

(Tim is eternally annoyed once he starts getting close to people and can no longer slip past them. He demands to know why they can see him, and they’re like, “Because we want to? Because we care about you?” and Tim’s like, “Well that’s inconvenient!”)

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Finding a decapitated teenage girl caught under one of the docks was just an especially depressing day for the Gotham PD. Finding a corpse that grabbed back when the coroner went to move it meant it was time to call in the Batman. Steph didn’t know Morse code and her eyes & ears were currently stuck somewhere in muffled darkness far away from the rest of her, so communication was rough but they eventually got her story out of her. Revenants come back for specific reasons, so it was expected she would be there when her father was apprehended; the words he screamed when he saw her corpse, and the beeline Steph made for the box under his workbench put any remaining doubts to rest. Steph picked the lock by touch, and retrieved her head with a huff of relief.

Then Robin said, “Did you find it?” and Steph jumped, throwing her head at him on instinct. It was very embarrassing for both of them, and when Robin handed Steph her head back and she balanced it back on her neck, she immediately started blushing.

(Bruce buys Steph a whole lot of beautiful “necklaces” to help keep her head balanced. Spoiler is the Headless Horseman of Gotham, and Steph finds it hilarious to play into the image. She no longer experiences true pain, just deep discomfort, and gets very good at lobbing her head like a grisly dodgeball at anyone she dislikes.)

(Steph’s a lot more lively than most people expect of the undead, eating & chattering, even getting sick sometimes. She loudly proclaims that the best part of losing her head is that she no longer has to taste it when she throws up, as long as she’s quick enough removing it—when Steph does puke, it’s mostly bilge-water, no matter what she put in her stomach ahead of time.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cass is a homunculus, but I have no details. Damian’s got his “mixed DNA clone” origin going on. That’s where I’m at with this one.

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wickedlyqueer · 3 months

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if you feel like it!!! i’d like to know your thoughts and hcs for a modern setting (or not) where things are relatively normal and elphaba has to take care of liir (as his 7yo self) and there’s also glinda. I’ve always wondered how she (also glinda) would work around children – i know we see elphaba in the book around them and she doesn’t care, but she is also going insane and full of grief so i don’t really take it as a response. I’m not sure if my request makes sense but i always enjoy your thoughts!

For someone who has said repeatedly they don't see gelphie as parents at all, yous seem desperate for my opinions on gelphie as parents. 😆 Anyway,

Even as their happiest and best selfs, I still think neither Glinda or Elphaba would ever chose to become a parent. It just... falls into their lap and they make the best of it.

And by that I mean, after college, Glinda and Elphaba broke up for about a year or two and Elphaba runs into Fiyero and gets knocked up (oops) during their shortlived fling and then 9 months later there was Liir.

They are very much a dysfunctional family. They probably co-parent with Fiyero—who is most likely, objectively, the best parent out of the three of them. (@gliyerabaa wanna take this brain wave over and make it into some ot3 hcs lmao?)

Elphaba would be both the fun parent and the strict parent. Yes, let's get on this rollercoaster you're not even tall enough for. No, you can't play video games before finishing all your homework. Yes, let's have only a ton of ice cream for dinner. It honestly gives Liir whiplash lmao.

Glinda brings some much needed structure to Liir's life. She likes the routine and recognizes that Elphie's chaotic and impulsive tendencies are not always what a little child needs.

It takes a bit before Glinda gets over her envy (since Liir is the living and breathing evidence that Elphaba very much loved someone who is not her and it infuriates her). But, through interacting with Liir, she sets those feelings aside. Because, holy shit, she adores that boy pretty much like he is her own son.

They both tuck Liir in and together tell him a bedtime story. It's a night time ritual that came out of Liir being so upset to go to sleep, it was a two-person-job to basically wrestle him to bed. Now he's older, it's a lot better, and for all of them one of their favorite times of day. But oohh boy if one of them isn't presence. The Tantrum that ensues...

Anyway, if you want to see the Liir&Glinda&Elphaba dynamic I very much encourage you to read attrition by @festivating. It's very good!

#wicked the musical #wicked #gelphie #glinda upland #elphaba thropp #liir thropp #sam's asks #headcanons

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venusiancharisma · 3 months

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Ancestral Karma Through Astrology

Lately, I have been wondering why I seem to always experience such heavy karma in situations that are unjust on my side. I examine my actions, recall any wrongdoings or lack of integrity, and evaluate intentions as best as I can, and every time, I come out on the other side feeling as if I have been accountable in all areas and most importantly, aboveboard.

Maybe this isn't just me, or that's the thought that prompted this; So I decided to look into ancestral karma and let me tell you... What I have found to be my personal inheritance of karma that I have been doomed with since birth, completely aligns with issues that go unfavorable for me in this lifetime.

I checked my 4th and 8th house placements, 12th house placements, saturn placement and harsh aspects, pluto placement and harsh aspects, as well as north node. Combining all of these was so incredibly helpful because now, I can actively address these issues if that is my choice, or I can severe chords with inherited karma, knowing exactly what it is I am healing or severing. I'll post a synopsis of what my ancestral karmic inheritances are and how I can go about healing them in case anyone would like a reading.

DM me, it's an $18.00 guide toward healing ancestral karma and will include a chord cutting ritual I have done thorough research on.

If you feel like life just constantly brings you tower moment after tower moment, yet you are living in your purpose, doing right by yourself and others, you may also have pent up karma that needs to be addressed in some capacity!

this is absolutely a form of self love and in perfect time for the full moon we are gearing up for!! this is also an 8 karmic year, universally, so if you take action, with intention, you are for sure likely to receive all the fruits of your labor x10!! I'm so excited for this full moon, who wants to join?!

Ancestral Lineage Signatures:

Jupiter in 12th House Libra - Foreign cultures, global connections, working across divides, issues around truth vs deception.

Moon in 8th House Taurus - Generational resilience, survivalist instincts, loyalty, and possessiveness.

4th House Capricorn/Aquarius Stellium - Legacy/dynasty builders focused on establishment of enduring structures.

Pluto in 2nd House Scorpio - Financial power struggles, regenerative capabilities around resources.

Inherited Psychic Gifts:

12th House Jupiter - Prophetic visions & dreams, spiritual attunement.

8th House Moon - Unconscious psychic absorption abilities.

Water Astrology Emphasis - Intuitive receptivity and emotional intelligence.

Sagittarius North Node - Exponential wisdom over lifetimes.

Karmic Patterns Needing Healing:

Hidden agendas and denial of truth - Jupiter lies

Addictions and avoidance of emotions - Moon

Control issues and power battles - Pluto square Saturn

Past life tyranny and lack of integrity - Pluto

Ancestral Lineage Signatures:

Occultists, healers, strategists and potent mystics rest in your genetics

Executives who forged dynastic outposts

Forces who worked unseen realms behind curtain

Wisest counselors occupying chambers of power

Those governing populous regions stamp your ancestral tree

Healing Directions:

Process pain through rituals and artistic expression

Practice brutal self-honesty

Establish healthy boundaries

Forgive self and predecessors through spiritual practices

Invoke freedom from contracts binding you to past errors

Step fully into destiny as a teacher, healer, guide

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wetcatspellcaster · 15 days

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Hello, dear writer, thank you for tearing my heart apart once again 😭

No, seriously, thank you. It was painful in all the best ways. I hope you know how beautiful it is when writing elicit so much feelings.

I want to smack Astarion for how he hurts Rose, but I understand where it all comes from, and it still makes me want to shake him and yell "don't you love her?!" because damn. That's so manipulative, and so in character. Every time I go through that part of the game Astarion makes me furious with the same words, while I know why he wants it so badly, it just... Yeah. You captured so well the devastation and helplessness of someone who loves him deeply and wants what is the best for him, while he is blinded by the bleak prospect of possible power that was absent in his un-life... It hurts so good. Like the words Rose said were very similar to my own thinking when Astarion brought it up in act 3, and that brought me so much deja vu I had to step away and breathe out of frustration and need to scream how dumb he truly is. I mean, I love you, stupid fanged elf, but my god you are stupid.

It's so devastating. And so unfair to poor Rosalie. I mean, yeah, there is some truth to Astarion's words, about her not knowing much hardship, but as once I've read - you don't need to live through things to know about them. At some point it felt like Astarion wanted Rose to live through the things he lived through, and just... Ugh. I hope he will see how fucked up this was. He already gets it, once the haze of his anger fades I see. I have tears in my eyes as I think just how hurtful those words must feel for Rose. It was so cruel, but so Astarion. Bite where it hurts, and keep tearing it apart before they hurt you? Yeah. I understand that, but condemn it.

It was such a good chapter. After so long of fluff, I knew there will be something that will hurt me, and I wasn't wrong. As much as I want them to be happy, I know there will be a long, long journey to get there for both of them. And I'm here for it. Thank you.

bonjour anon, thank you so much for such a lovely message!!

I've had a lot of fun with actually thinking about An Honest Lie going forward, and what I want to do with it, because obviously I wrote A Bleeding Heart first in Early Access, and I was really pleased with it at the time, but it also has a three-act structure where a conflict is resolved, and then I just... continue on into Full Access gameplay lmao. Where problems get worse.

So what I decided was that, A Bleeding Heart doesn't fix Astarion, but Rosalie thinks it has. This is why it doesn't occur to her that he would want to do the ritual. Like yes, she has that autism justice sensitivity in her, but she meant it when she said 'we've literally done this before at Ethel's'. Astarion has started doing nice things for her specifically, so she thinks the problem and his worldview is fixed. But of course, when that kind of belief is so deeply ingrained in a person, it isn't a 'one conversation and it's done' kinda deal. Also, being nice to your girlfriend isn't the same as being lawful good lmao (not that Astarion will ever be lawful good, that is not the aim of the fic).

So A Bleeding Heart was 'I think I fixed him' and An Honest Lie is, 'well now the real work begins, and it's not going to be as easy as one sexy argument in a field' lol.

And thank you!! I know there's a tendency in fandom to either make Astarion wilfully awful or never having done anything wrong in his life, but neither of those are for me. I think he's just well-mastered in knowing how to hurt someone, and it's a cultivated skill rather than a predilection, because he's been hurt a lot so that's all he's been taught. And I think someone being incessantly nice to him but also not being able to empathise with either the temptation of power or the darker thoughts he will inevitably have, would trigger his desire to bring her down to his level. Not because he actually wants Rosalie to suffer, or know what it's like to feel that way, but he just wants her to actually know him properly, and be able to understand.

#asks #anons #wip: an honest lie #glad you enjoyed the chapter anon!! :D

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guppybubbles · 9 months

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Maybe I'm the Monster.

Set after the court trial for Juana Flippa's life. Juana Flippa is brought back to life, but Charlie is still paranoid. In an attempt to make sure he can protect her, he calls an old friend.

CONTENT WARNING: Rituals, Dealing with the Devil

WORD COUNT: 2,251 words

“The monster's gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.”

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

This wasn’t paranoia. It was far from it.

If anything, this was just a parent making sure mistakes— misclicks— don’t happen again, Slime justified. This was right.

On the large branch growing out from his balcony, an ashy finger traced the bark and formed a circle. Slime drew a symbol in the middle of the circle, holding a candle in his other hand to even make out whatever he was smearing on the wood. It was the dead of night, everyone on the island has gone to bed after doing another day of completing tasks for the eggs.

JuanaFlippa wasn’t home. After that entire court fiasco, Mariana at least had the effort to be there for his daughter more frequently than before- even if all it took was a case of murder. Mariana took Flippa back to his own home, and Charlie went back to Sacapuntas. He’d been invited to join them in telling Juana a bedtime story and a lullaby, even being offered to sleep right next to Mariana but he declined.

Flippa’s death terrified him to his core. The moment his anger subsided after watching her death unfold in a recording, it was quiet. So horribly quiet. He kept checking the list of tasks they had to accomplish and sat quietly in her room, waiting for her to pop out somewhere like it was a horribly late April Fools’ Prank, but she never came and the tasks were left unchecked for days.

But thanks to that court case he bargained for, she has her life back, and Charlie will make sure this would never happen again.

Slime carefully lit candles and gently placed them down on the border of the circle. This could’ve been a fire hazard, putting down candles right on top of a flammable structure, but most of his home was still blown up anyway so more damage wasn’t that big of a problem. “You better show up.” He stepped away from the circle and stretched an arm, holding his hand right above the center. A sharp knife slid across his palm in a swift motion, and slowly blood dripped down.

The thick liquid seeped into the ash and the poorly drawn summoning circle started shifting to a dark red hue, faintly glowing. The candles’ flames waved wildly in different directions, not following the gentle breeze of the night. Then, all together the candles were hushed and the faint glow slowly died.

Slime frowned. It didn’t work. He did everything right and it didn’t work.

Like an explosion, the flames erupted once more. Aggressive, unnatural, and way bigger than the standard flare. The red glow turned brighter until it all calmed down. Standing in the middle of the circle stood an imposing figure.

“Hello, my friend!” Pitch-black eyes shined with glee. A tall bear demon with red fur finally showed himself after a dramatic entrance. “So good to see you, how have you been?”

“Flippa almost died.” Charlie went straight to the point, staring directly into those void eyes. Afraid that if he blinked, he’d lose dominance over the ruler of Hell. “I need- She needs something more to protect her.”

“More? But doesn’t she have a gun?”

“Does she- Do you see the monsters out there?! They weirdly have stronger armor than most of us on the island do. I need something… something more!”

“More?” The demon asked.

“More. Something bigger, something stronger. Please, I’ll do anything.” Slime begged.

Rubius rubbed his hand against his chin in deep thought. Charlie kept his hands clasped together. He knows he's asking for too much, first, it was a weapon for his daughter, then a court case to bring her back to life, now, he's asking for something more.

Could you blame him? Flippa is the first ever egg to perish, it instilled fear in every parent that their children were very much capable of dying. Even worse, she dies at the hands of his partner. It didn't even matter that the dragon might come back and reign hell on him and Mariana, what mattered was his baby was gone.

A single mistake and his beautiful daughter died in her sleep.

Slime won't let that happen again, ever.

“Okay, I think I know something that can help you—”

“Yes- yes! Anything, man. I'll take anything and everything you can give.”

There was a look of annoyance in Rubius' eyes, and Charlie should've known to apologize for cutting him off.

The demon held his hand out, and Charlie gladly took it.

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

It was the next morning. JuanaFlippa munched on the sandwich that Papa Mariana packed for her.

Papa guided her back home to La Ciudad del Sacapuntas but stopped a decent distance away from Papa Charlie’s blown-up house. It seemed despite beginning to get along after the trial for her life, there was still a long road ahead of them before they return to that stage of disgusting romance where they brag about every romantic thing they do to each other to everyone (and she means everything).

Papa kissed her forehead goodbye and she excitedly ran to the broken part of the wall. Flippa wasn’t sure if Papa Charlie continued to sleep in his place when it was still a very long time until it could be fully restored to its normal condition, she hoped he was sleeping somewhere safe and warm. Perhaps she could ask Leo if her dad could rebuild the house. Then again, Uncle Foolish tends to charge quite a lot, and she’s heard building makes him a bit crazy…

Both of her papas agreed that Flippa cannot stay in her room for a while until everything is fixed. The ashes and fumes she might inhale are highly dangerous, she may have been brought back to life, but her life was still as fragile as it was before.

Flippa waited patiently, staring up at her papa’s elevated home and expecting him to greet her with a loud smile and a healthy lunch pack in his hand. She knew out of the two of them, papa Mariana was the better cook, but Papa Charlie genuinely does try his best to make stuff she likes. He makes a lot of avocado toast, which is what he is mostly capable of cooking, but she doesn’t mind, it’s her favourite after all.

She coughed slightly, her hand beginning to cover her nose and her mouth to shield it from the floating dust. This is bad… Papa always warned her to wear a face mask whenever she was going to enter and leave Sacapuntas. There were times when she didn't listen to his lectures and felt fine, yet it was beginning to be a bit more dusty than usual.

Was this normal?

Flippa stumbled backward as she tried to evade the forming clouds. She almost tripped but still attempted to hold herself upright.

That's when she felt it.

Steady, rhythmic rumbles of the ground. Shaky hands pulled out a gun with a red bow tied on top, matching with her best friend who had a smaller green ribbon used to tie her braids on their gun as well. She remained the brave, little girl her fathers raised her to be. She'd just have to wait until Papa Charlie comes down to protect her (though she remembers times when she had to help him instead, shooting down monsters and helping him up when he's fallen).

A giant hand gripped the side of the wall, and another slammed to the ground. She almost screamed in terror, if not for the fact that air caught in her throat and she began coughing once more. Flippa closed her eyes in fear of the big monster in front of her, wrapping her arms around herself to calm her fearful quivers.

“Oh- Flippa! Are you okay?”

It’s her papa. He’s here to stop the scary sounds, the scary rumbles, the scary giant. Flippa shakingly reached for him, who sounded so close yet so far. “Are you hurt? Sorry, papa went through some… changes.”

She realized the rumbling she had sensed earlier had stopped, and the giant’s presence still loomed, but how? Papa got rid of the monster, it sounded like he was right above her! Flippa opened her eyes, breath quickening as she immediately noticed the large hand still on the ground. She looked up and met eyes with her papa Charlie.

Papa smiled, that same smile he reserved specifically for her, the smile that soothed her troubles and made her feel safe from any scary monsters under her bed… but it was wrong. “Good morning, Flippa.”

While she knew her papa wasn’t completely human, he wasn’t… part giant or monster at all. No, it was wrong. She knew her papa. She knew he didn’t have black, protruding horns, ones that resembled the demon that she met during the afterlife. He didn’t have sharp teeth either, his teeth were strong enough to rip into a zombie’s flesh but it didn’t look like a large knife that could easily chew and gobble her up. He just.. looked wrong. The giant may share the same face, the same voice, the same smile as her papa, but he’s not her papa. No. Not her papa.

“Papa…” Flippa quietly called out for her papa, her real one.

The monster’s pointy ears twitched, another trait she knows he doesn’t have, and he replied like how her papa would. Same tone and all. She wouldn’t be fooled, she knew it was a trick. “Yeah? What do you need, Flippa?”

“Papa…” She whined, calling out again. She could feel her fear reach her eyes, and tears began to well up. Her voice was breaking as she backed away. “Papa..”

Flippa could see the monster twist his face in concern, piecing together something in his head. Whatever he was piecing together, she doesn’t know. “Oh, Flippa..” The monster moved, and she almost screamed again, yet she couldn’t find it in her to do so. He lowered himself even more despite kneeling already, trying to be at eye level with her. It doesn’t work, he’s still so big. “I- I know Papa looks different, but it’s okay! It’s still me, see? I’m not gonna hurt you.” His hand was slow, maybe he did it on purpose to not scare her, but as it approached her and took more of her vision, it only raised her heartbeat even more.

“NO! Go-... GO AWAY!” She found her voice, and she yelled. The monster looked hurt, maybe it would be the same face Papa would make, she wouldn’t know, she’s never yelled at her papa before. She never will. Yelling at the monster seemed to work though, because he stopped his attempt at grabbing her.

“Flippa, don’t cry… It’s me, Charlie, your papa?-”

“NO! YOU’RE NOT MY PAPA!” Flippa cried out, clenching her fists and stomping stubbornly on the floor. “I want… I WANT MY PAPA!”

“Slime..?” Papa Mariana’s voice was quiet, so quiet. Yet they both heard it. Flippa immediately ran to his side, hugging his legs and sobbing quietly. Her tears stained his yellow pants, she felt her papa’s hand gently hold the top of her head.

“Slime, it’s- what happened to you, man?” Flippa tugged her papa’s shirt gently. No, that’s not Papa Charlie. Don’t speak to him, let’s go to my real papa. She wanted to speak, to warn him, but sobs and whining only came out of her throat. Mariana didn’t take it as a warning, wrapping an arm around Juana’s legs and lifting her up, she began to hide at the crook of his neck, arms wrapping over his shoulders.

“Mariana…” The monster whispered, sounding like he was pleading, trying to be sympathetic. Juana whined again, moving impatiently on her papa’s arm so he could pay attention to her. Quietly, she mumbled. “I want to go home…”

Mariana adjusted her position so she’d have less of a chance of falling as she moves around in his arms, he looked at her in the eyes. His face softened up, gently kissing her forehead. “Bien, te llevaré a casa ahora mismo.” He softly spoke, wiping away the stains of tears on her face.

Somehow, the monster heard them. “You- are you taking her home? Let me come along. With you, please.” He begged. There was a look of uncertainty in Mariana’s eyes, he looked at Juana again. She shook her head a little, gripping tightly on her papa’s shirt. At the corner of her eye, she could see a slight twist of expression. He probably saw her shake her head.

“Sorry, Slime. Let me take Juana home, okay? Let’s… Let’s talk about this later.”

Without another word, Mariana turned away and Juana rested her head on her papa’s shoulder. She was facing the giant again and she almost regretted saying no. The monster was looking at Mariana with a dejected expression, maybe even apologetic. She turned away, hiding beneath the crook of her papa’s neck again and pretending to fall asleep.

Charlie wanted to plead with Mariana, even plead for Flippa to just stay a bit longer, but he saw their fear. Flippa had never yelled at him before, always so soft-spoken and sweet, his daughter. Yet, she’s the one who turned and ran away in fright. He would never hurt her, or Mariana. They had to understand that, but he couldn’t force them here and make them listen to him, so he stayed where he was.

And just like that, Charlie was left alone.

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

“Bien, te llevaré a casa ahora mismo.” ;; “Okay, I’ll take you home right now.” (Sorry if it's a mistranslation, I used Google translation. Please tell me if it's wrong so I can fix it!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this a really long time ago, literally like, right after Juana Flippa was revived, I immediately pulled out my laptop and began writing 💀 I finished it during my hiatus, but I never found the courage to post it. To celebrate (not) Flippa's return, I decided to post this!! I hope you enjoyed reading it :) *disappears back into the shadowss*

#guppy writes!#giant!slimecicle #tiny!juanaflippa #qsmp g/t #qsmp gt #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #g/t au #g/t #giant/tiny #mcyt gt community #mcyt g/t community #t!juanaflippa #g!slimecicle #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t

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majestyrising · 1 month

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Plague Light Info Dump

Okay so my idea for a Light/Plague clan is kind of weird. It starts off with a bunch of archeologists operating in the Emperor’s Wake discovered a strange temple whose architecture didn’t match – it was built as a holy place where their important ally was able to worship. It was an impressive structure of marble and gold, and in the center was a statue of Lightweaver and Plaguebringer, each holding a gilded bowl. This discovery was pretty important, and a sign of things to come. As more researchers poured over the area they kept finding more and more references to this Light/Plague culture. They showed up with more temples in allying lands, in artifacts they traded, and in war records. A lot of war records of many clans – apparently this Light/Plague culture was an empire and expanding.

Eventually they hit paydirt and find one of the Light/Plague culture’s ruined cities.

Lots of archiving and discovery, and they discover a map, detailing more of their holdings. Including the Light/Plague clan’s main city. After a brief scare of the Emperor walking far too close for comfort, an expedition to their capital sets off. Luckily this city was well preserved, time and Luminax have spared this city.

The archaeologists also discover why this clan was lost to history – littering the streets are bodies.

Most of them warriors locked in battle or those who succumbed to their wounds. War. They were attacked by a stronger clan; wiped out the nobles, killed the priests, buried their twisted religion. If there were any survivors, they fled and never returned. Walking the eerily quite temple walls surrounded by the dead and riches of a long-lost empire is…. Sad.

The archaeologists, tomb robbers and treasure hunters take back artifacts, and a few of these ornate coffins lining the temple. And that is where they made a mistake. These coffins are actually… a ritual tool that keeps the dragon inside hovering in between life and death. During the assault most of them were cracked open and the dragon inside killed – except for a few. In one of them lies the last surviving princess of this Light/Plague culture. The sun may have set on her people, but their empire will rise again! She will rebuild it, 1000 times grander! She just has to wait for them to figure out how to open her prison and she will live again! I’m debating on there being more like her who managed to get overlooked when her family was wiped out and her people scattered to the winds. For sure she is the last of the noble bloodline.

Some of the inspiration for this clan comes from Christianity. Specifically the older stuff – a bunch of worshippers believing that they start life in debt, born in sin. Lightweaver and Plaguemother does not love them. That the act of suffering and sacrifice is to be brought closer to the divine. Flagellants and martyrs who take on the sin of others. Sad saints. And can’t forget the impressive looking cathedrals. Also included in this is the Aztecs. Blood sacrifice is key to this clan – the belief that the gods require sacrifices to keep their creations running. Sometimes it is a trickle offered to the scarlet stained altar of the Lightweaver, other times whole hearts are offered up to the gods. Blood is life and magic, and the gods need it. Incorporate some of that Aztec City look into their Cathedral Cities. Combating their dour religion and war like nature is their vivacious grasp on life. They throw 100% of their being into celebrations and the arts – the sheer unbridled joy is a stark contrast to their faith. They sing, they dance, and above all else feel. Also included is glorious White Phyrexia, if only for the amazing White/Red imagery. Like scarlet veins and pure flowers blooming.

Some Pathfinder classes I think they’d use.

Pain Tasters: a prestige class that uses pain and ritual to buff up their stats. Even for those not blessed by Lightweaver or Plaguemother, pain can still bring out the divine and elevate you. Another prestige class, Scar Seekers take on self-mortification rituals, and are empowered by their pain. Their religious self-scarification leaves them a patchwork of scars, which offers various boons when it comes to healing and sharing pain. Holy Vindicators are the last prestige class I think fits them. They gain stigmata and while bleeding bolster their attacks with divine might and lay down curses. Clerics of Martyrdom and Tyranny walk down the same temple halls and psionic collectives expand their senses in opulent guildhalls. These psionic collectives churn out Hemokinetics that learn to manipulate their blood, and psychics dedicated to pain master their mental powers here.

Outside of the standard FR Light and Plague type of magic, I figure theirs focuses on three things.

The first: Healing Magic. A culture dedicated to bloodletting and ritual penance sufferers would have some of the best healers around. Plus taking on the wounds of others fits in with their martyr theming. Secondly: Pain, and the emotions it brings. Despair. Anger. Fear. This is why they have psionic collectives. And lastly: the Red Blood that flows through the veins of the universe, of which they are just a small part.

#submitted #lore anon

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hadit93 · 4 months

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Some Thoughts on the Future of Thelemic Magick

It is my opinion that the Thelemic movement has been largely stagnant in terms of growth and development since the death of Aleister Crowley in 1947. This is not to say there have been no developments or innovative thinkers at all, simply that the majority do not question the documents Crowley penned and believe or ignore any other developments in occultism, magick, and academia.

One thing which needs to be adapted in the new aeon is the training of the order of AA. The guidelines were written over 100 years ago and were largely based on the Golden Dawn system and some rudimentary understanding of raja yoga. The fact is we know much more about both of these systems and understand much more about magical systems in general. People focus too much on the specific practices rather than the experiences these practices are meant to bring about. Not everyone will be able to use the original AA instructions and make them work, there are other methods and what matters is the experience gained rather than the work needed to get there.

Another thing I believe needs to go is the hierarchical system of magical orders. Every man and every woman is a star, the law is for all. There are no magical secrets anymore, and quite frankly those who are ill prepared to use certain techniques will not get very far to begin with. There is no need for pompous titles and secret handshakes. Kill it with fire.

I also believe utilising the tree of life as a structure for initiation is problematic. It just doesn't work in my opinion and is an idea developed by the Golden Dawn that needn't continue on into the modern day. People need to track their development, yes. But do people really need to be stuck in the relator grade because they can't hold an asana without moving for an hour? It makes for a pointless exercise. I believe everyone should try to master an asana, but why assign this to one grade? Especially when the elemental initiations were scrapped by Crowley?

I believe Jerry Cornelius was the first to propose a three grade system based on Liber Legis: The Man of Earth, The Lover, and the Hermit. He mapped these roughly to Neophyte, Adept, and Magister Templi. That is the first work is to prepare the temple for the Angel, to analyse the Self and master the Self. This is the work of the man of Earth- to become a stable foundation. The work of the lover is to attain knowledge and conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel which in the Thelemic system (as opposed to the Abramelin system from where the term comes) means achieving samadhi and a connection to the interface with the God head. The work of the hermit is to cross the abyss which I will not speak on because I have no real experience of this.

Crowley recognised that people needed to find their own ways to these goals very early on. In fact a lot of the time people did not go through the AA grades officially. They had an experience and Crowley recognised this as appropriate for a specific grade. Not everyone is going to forge a link to the angel with ritual, for some it will be devotional work and yoga, for others they want to invoke beings and have all the visuals, and others will find prayer to be a valuable tool. The AA has instructions in all of these, but to assume you need to master all of them is a false assumption and just makes life hard.

Something else that needs to be addressed is the people who have blinders on when it comes to developments in magick after Crowley. For example, his instructions on Astral projection are not great, they require further instruction and we have so many more tools at our disposal now that makes the whole process easier. Not to mention lucid dreaming research which can make entry into the astral during sleep easier and allow for the same during waking hours. There are countless books published by mystics and psychologists alike. Why not use them?

In terms of evocation we know Crowley's Goetia is the worst edition, and it wasn't even Crowleys (but that's another story)! We now know the roots of such practices and we hopefully have grown past the idea that chthonic spirits are evil and dirty. We have hopefully gone past the notion that all things must be, or even can be, banished before a magical working takes place.

We must be past the idea that Crowley had mastered the Golden Dawn system, he had not. Crowley was also not really a practicing magician for the majority of his magical career. As soon as he found sex magick, that was his focus. Therefore whilst he was certainly knowledgeable, he was not the authority on the Golden Dawn system and modern adepts of that system should certainly be listened to as they have the benefit of receiving decades worth of teachings and information from people who actually practiced the system consistently for most of their lives.

Finally, and most importantly, we surely do not believe Crowley is the only prophet of the new age? The only magician who receives communications? The only one worth listening to? We must get past this, the point of magic is to establish communication with spiritual forces, why would the words of Crowley be placed on a pedestal above all others? I am not showing disrespect for Liber Legis or any of the other so-called 'holy books' but I also do not treat them like sacred scripture. I think it is ridiculous alongside any religious aspect applied to Thelema. Crowleyanity is an abomination.

I do not believe the time for instruction is over, I do believe magical orders are on the decline and this is because of their own stagnation. I believe the student-teacher relationship to be necessary not only to the student but also to the teacher. They keep each other aware of their own bullshit. They also question each other, challenge each other, and ultimately help each other to grow. This being said, I believe such relationships should come about naturally as opposed to being manufactured by the pairing up of individuals at random via an email list.

In short, I believe Thelema needs to change and in particular the orders of Thelema need to change quickly because they will cease to exist. Once they cease to exist Thelema will also decline and will be gone by the end of the current century. This would be a shame as many of the modern magical movements are drenched in Thelema, but Thelema at its core is a beautiful mystical philosophy that can inform an individual of their own sovereignty and their own course amongst the stars.

#Thelema #A.'.A.'.#AA #Magick #Modern Thelema #Crowley

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istherewifiinhell · 2 years

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Following is an analysis of how Koisenu Futari writes it aro characters, aro narrative and what it intends to convey, and is also my own personal thoughts and feelings in regards to that. I refer to the characters by some stero- and archetypal categories because they are fictional, and how they are is a choice made by writers. I wouldn't say these things about real people, and you don't have to agree with me. Also of course its plot and character important that Takahashi and Sakuko are AroAce. But I will just be saying aro, because that's what was so revolutionary in the show for me and what I'm focusing on in this. Cool? Great, awesome. Let's go.

Koisenu Futari is a show that doesn't seem real to me. Part of my brain assumes, no they didn't actually make an aro show that actually cares about aros. A show that knows and shows aros of all kinds, all-be-it, some just briefly in the meet up group. But as I'll posit, ideologically this show has the space for loveless aros and all of us that really defy the more easier to digest notions of aro-ness.

Because, the thing that stuck me most about this show is that our point of view character Sakuko, is the newly discovered aro. She's a kind person with a sweet disposition and friendly to most. She doesn't relate to all the romance around her (including when someone is being insulting to her about the nature of her lack of relationships), but she is eager to please people, and doesn't like to make any trouble. She's younger and career focused that leaves people do assume any time she doesn't mesh with romance society is simply a matter of late blooming.

And enter Takahashi, the person who's words help her understand herself, help save herself. A person she meets and can finally feel a comfortable, understanding, connection with. Takahashi, an old aro, a bitter aro, he's someone who is knowledgeable about the societal construction and history of romance. He feels deeply the effects of, and understands structurally, amatonormativity. He has couple speeches about such things ready to go and bubbling under the surface, and given with an orator's tilt, compared to the rest of his conversations. And, he is epitome of your repulsed aro, your touch adverse aro and non neurotypical passing aro.

But of course, that's not the totality of what anybody is, and that's not all these characters are. Takahashi is a thoughtful and sentimental man, he's closeted even a bit shy. And through that we see his bravery when working against his reserved nature. He feels lonely, but not devoid of meaning or purpose because of it.

Takahashi's live does certainly seem much happier, and fulfilled. He maintains a blog, his garden, he keeps traditions the contented mundane rituals of life. And to me it brings to mind statistics about masking, being closeted, transition, and their relation to wellness. There is often an inverse relationship to the joy or peace of being yourself, and access to certain parts of society, or safety within it. Which of course, Sakuko, due to being younger and her general disposition, does pass mostly unnoticed in these spaces, but at great cost, some she didn't even realise, or really admit to herself.

Sakuko is, of the two, someone who comes across as more palatable to normative society. The kind of people and structures that might prefer to see aros in QPs specifically so they more closes resemble allo (& hetero) monogamous relationships. Kazu's plot line brings home that the expectations of a man and a women living together supersede the need for actually romance. So they aren't in romantic love, but shouldn't they still have the aesthetic patina of it. If you're a family should the woman not be a caretaker and the man a protector? And, obviously, no. Amantonormativity as a word, as a lens to view society, didn't even originate in aro subculture, and shares a lot of overlap with hetero- and cis- normativity for a reason. And the show's deftly handles how far that norm is from the reality.

Takahashi isn't, we learn, living his perfect life, for a mixture of reasons. Many that I would qualify under a flinch response. If you live your life in defiance of something, against others insistence. It makes sense to be resistant to change, headstrong and immutable. So he'll wholeheartedly commit to his own life, and respect others' choices and feelings. He doesn't talk as much as he simply acts, he wouldn't question someone even if he should. And he won't change his life if it may imply his current way of life is wrong, even if the change could be for the better.

So it is in this these two characters differences that their affect can be seen on each other. Sakuko learns to live a committed and more defiant life. She learns to do things that make her happy, to reach out and grab things by the throat, instead of settle. And from Sakuko who had to change just to keep being herself. Takahashi learns that he doesn't have to live just one way. He can change, if he isn't as happy as he could be he can take a risk, and if that doesn't work, it doesn't have to be permanent. And at no point do they have to change the immutable parts of themselves.

Obviously, there is no trick romance snuck in. But more importantly and, perhaps insightfully, what might be considered secondary character traits are equally respected. Sakuko doesn't have to endure more peoples romantic feelings for her, she doesn't have to stop being career oriented, or fun loving. And she doesn't have to be closer to her family before they can respect her. Takahashi, and this truly blew me away to realise. Doesn't ever have to welcome people touching him, or even being too close. He doesn't have change his affect or his demeanor in emotional conversations. The biggest changes our characters go through come from their increased happiness and increased desire to work towards happiness.

And if it wasn't clear enough yet, the end state of the show knocks it out of the fucking park, and directly into my, and I hope others brains. To be forever lodged in our subconsciouses. The prescribed ideals aren't what give us meaning. Straight couples aren't all perfect, sometimes romantic feelings cause you pain, and structuring your life so it seems familiar is never more important that if it brings you satisfaction and joy. Their lives, their family, their connection to each other doesn't end or stop having meaning when it no longer approximates the very things they were trying to live away from.

#some shit #koisenu futari #okay. i think. that is. readable. please let me know if there are any comprehension blocking errors. particular if u suspect #i missed a negative. im really prone to that one #i think im making some assumptions or implicate connections of a chain of actions and interpretations of them #but hopefully the jist is still made #im not necessarily gonna explain all the things i see in the characters that bring to mind how im getting to these assumptions cause i feel #like if u went thru the effort of watching this show in english you probably get the vibes.#also its just over 1000 words. so..#but yeah anyway. feels good to write. this is an essay right? and be able to do the conclusion by just coming down a register of formality #this actually had a different through line 2 edits ago. i was really just trying to say i like that the main characters come off #as different types of aros. thats cool. its good to do that.#also hopefully u all get when i say sakuko passes in certain ways im not saying she isnt those things. passing is about others conceptions #GAH OKAY. ENOUGH AUTHORS NOTE DISCLAIMERS

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pupbi · 1 year

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Hi -may I ask about the endo thing in your dni? I didn't know what it was before I saw a post of yours and since I'm not a system or a doctor or anything I don't know what the issue is (the info I found basically just said they form on their own?) I've tried to be supportive of systems as best I could given I'm not one, so I guess technically right now I'm neutral just because I don't understand what the problem is. Obv I'll listen to a system before a rando source. (Also wanted to ask if it's ok to interact if I don't have an agere sideblog, since mine is all mixed up there's stuff that may not be suitable for small children but it's all tagged. I'm a traumagenic age regressor and anything related to that is completely sfw)

(This post contains syscourse)

Explanation is below the cut since it's a lot + I typically wouldn't bring discourse to my blog, and as long as your blog isn't primarily nsfw/kink we don't mind interaction. I want to apologize in advance if this seems "too long" or mashed together

In short, systems are the result of repetitive childhood trauma, being a system is not a normal brain thing it can't "just happen" The process of the brain forming dissociated states is a last resort decision, a child was traumatized to the point the brain could not handle it and did not think it would survive on its own.

A breakdown of Structural Dissociation & how systems form:

Structural Dissociation is the assumption that no one is born with a fully integrated personality. Instead, children operate based off of a collection of different ego states that handle their different needs- feeding, attachment to a caregiver, exploring the world around them. Over time, these separate ego states naturally integrate into one singular personality, usually by ages 6-9, this is what causes non-systems/singlets, this is the expected outcome. Systems form when childhood trauma disrupts the process and the different ego states are left unable to merge with each other due to conflicting needs, traumatic memories, or learned action paths or responses to trauma. If systems could just "spontaneously form" without trauma, this origin would be widely known from all the years of research that has been poured into DiD/OSDD. (Taken from here)

You can also read about tertiary structural dissociation (DID) here

And secondary (OSDD) here

The endogenic community itself is a cesspool of misinformation, stolen terms from RAMCOA survivors, cultural appropriation, racism, harmful stereotypes, and just in general, toxic.

Misinfo, harmful stereotypes, toxicity (This is our experience from being in endo spaces) :

Spreading the idea that you can develop a trauma-formed dissociative disorder, without having trauma. This is harmful to those who have did/osdd, as we are an already stigmatized group under the guise that we're "possessed" and have an evil alters that'll gonna murder you (thank you Split /s) if I were to start saying something like "I have (C-)PTSD but have never experienced a traumatic event ever! You can have (C-)PTSD without trauma" that would be horrible

The idea that alters can "die" or that fusion/final fusion is equivalent to "alter death".

We've seen discussions of "who's trauma was worse" when traumagenic systems talk about their trauma

I've seen endos encourage systems to NOT go through with final fusion (I believe every system has their own right to decide what their long term goal is, whether it be final fusion or managing their life with did/osdd/udd, but actively discouraging final fusion is not ok imo)

Saying that system accountability is a bad thing. Holding your alters responsible for their actions is not a negative thing.

RAMCOA stolen terms-

Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse (RAMCOA) which you can read about here, endos have taken terms from RAMCOA survivors and twisted the actual meaning of the terms, here's some of them with their actual definition:

System hopping: moving from one side-system to another. (Not from one singlur system to another)

Side-system: a "system" that is seperate from the main one.

System reset: when abusers force dormancy in the majority of alters.

Shell alter: a fragment alter who's purpose is to mask the current fronter so that detecting switches becomes more difficult

(This was from our time spent in RAMCOA friendly spaces and talking with survivors)

Cultural appropriation/racism

Within the endogenic community are (western) tulpa "systems", tulpas are intentionally created by imagining a person into the mind and treating them as a real entity. Western Tulpamancy is a bastardization of Tibitian Buddhism. "Tulpa" is a term that comes from Tibetan and Indian Buddhism.

Alter race, "It is never alright to claim to be a race that the body is not. One can be an introject of a person of colour, or one can look a certain way in the inner world (have darker or lighter skin tone) but race is so much more complex than appearance alone. For us POC, race goes well beyond how we look. Our race is also defined by how other people discriminate against us for our heritage and how our family has raised us in our traditions. A white person cannot claim to have these experiences of discrimination and tradition which define a POC. One cannot claim to be a POC alter in a white body because they simply do not have the experiences of one. To claim to be a POC despite lacking these experiences is simply rude. Race is also defined by how others treat you, and in being part of a white system, one lacks the [discrimination] that comes with being of colour. Your understanding of a POC's race is that—an outsider’s understanding of a closed group. Being POC changes how we perceive the world and how the world perceives us, and a white person just isn’t capable of understanding these differences in perception because they are experiences which are exclusive to POC. This also applies to POC claiming alters from other POC groups. A Korean system is a Korean system and cannot have Arabic alters because they are still an outsider to that culture. Just as a white system can’t claim POC alters, a POC system cannot claim alters of a culture they’re not bodily part of. It also applies to introjects: no matter an introject’s source, that introject is going to be the same race and ethnicity as the system and body. You cannot claim to be a different race or ethnicity through your interpretation of a piece of media. While your gender can be different from your body’s, your race cannot, because unlike race you self-identify with your gender. Race and ethnicity is assigned to you by the world around you based on your physical body at birth." (This explanation was taken from here [yes, its a carrd] as they explained it better than I could)

Other

I couldn't decide where these statements could go so they're just on their own

Not remembering your trauma is something entirely different from claiming systemhood without trauma

"You can be a system without having did/osdd, they're not the same" I have yet to see any (real) sources on that, it's possible to not meet the diagnostic criteria for DiD/OSDD, but systemhood outside of that? Still, not credible sources

I very often hear "but the DSM doesnt have trauma in the diagnostic criteria, this means systems dont have to have trauma to form!" The DSM doesn't have "trauma" as a diagnostic criteria because they would need to be 100% sure that this happens, which means they would have traumatize children to be 100% sure if childhood trauma is the only cause. I shouldn't have to say this, but that's unethical (here is a PDF link to the full DSM5)

Here's soms more links about the link between childhood trauma and DiD/OSDD, as well as anything else I mentioned in here that I just couldn't find an appropriate place to put

NAMI

DID Research

NCBI

APA

McLean

Mayo Clinic

AAMFT

Being a system is a disorder, not a hobby, its not fun, it's not an identity/label that you can just slap on like with gender or pronouns.

Endos & their supporters dont even touch this bc I'm not going to bring any further discourse to my blog, respect our boundaries

#anti endo #endos dni #syscourse #system discourse #actually did #actually dissociative #actually system #actually a system #anti endogenic #pro sysmed #actually traumagenic #dni endos #anti nontraumagenic #non traumagenic dni #endo supporters dni

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leaderlamby · 9 months

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Daily Sermon #22

Where does Lamb see this cult going? What's the outcome they hope for?

Well, Lamb wants their cult to be just like how it used to be in their world. The only problem is, they don't entirely remember it.

There was definitely a temple and a confession booth and a missionary station and their divine statue and an offering shrine and farm plots... I believe we did also have a small cemetery despite bringing followers back from the dead. I think they were more like holding houses where we put the bodies so they wouldn't cause disease until they were brought back.

Also, despite what the base game says, Lamb did declare all of those doctrines and rituals.

What Lamb definitely didn't have before but wants to implement this time is some sort of coming-of-age ritual for boys when they turn 12 or 13.

I mean, Lamb DOES expect their followers to repopulate over time, so I wanted to add something for boys. Maybe for girls too, but not done by Lamb. The ritual will be performed in the temple, of course, but only with Lamb and the subject. It's supposed to mature their young minds and teach them about what to expect as their bodies develop. It sounds weird, but those things should be common knowledge.

Lamb also does give personal gifts to followers if they're exceptional and they do take requests from followers.

Oh, and Lamb plans this cult to be entirely in real life. No electronics or anything because that'd be difficult for me as the leader to manage. I'd have to get a cell tower built nearby, pay for everyone's service, make sure these electronics don't distract them from their duties, etc.

Obviously, that's not a rule now because it's not an option for Lamb, so don't worry about that for a while.

Also, this is very important, LAMB IS AWARE OF THEIR LACK OF DIVINE POWER IN THIS LIFE. They are not delusional, they aren't going to be the weird kid that threatens people by saying they'll put a hex on you with their magic crystals.

The goal is that I will gain these powers BACK through my cult. We already talked about how a following strengthens a god. That's how they'll get their powers again.

I need a large, devoted following, and it all starts here! This is just the beginning!

Ritual of the Day:

Glory of Construction

"Instantly build all structures currently under construction. -10 Faith."

#cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #cult leader #sermon #ritual #glory of construction

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traegorn · 2 years

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Alright Alright light me on fire for this one lads BUT when is it actually cultural appropriation?? Like I get that *dressing up as xyz culture for Halloween is bad* right but I've lived in Japan the last 5 years and want to bring some of what I've learned culture wise with me when we move. Is this the same? Like what exactly is the line here? Does me having lived there somehow change the answer too? Like if I hadn't would it be worse? I feel like im over thinking this but I know if you don't know then someone who follows you might. I feel like the message of what is and isn't has gotten lost to the internet's lack of ability to see shades of gray lately. Sorry if this is stupid

Okay, so I often say I'm probably the worst person to ask about this, I'll do my best.

Cultural Appropriation's definition is usually something along the lines like "when members of a majority group adopt cultural elements of a minority group in an exploitative, disrespectful, or stereotypical way."

There's more than one thing at play here, but what is and isn't cultural appropriation comes from a number of factors. One element is whether or not something is closed to outsiders or not -- and this comes up in Witchcraft discussions a lot of the time. If a group says that outsiders should not perform a ritual unique to them, then things are pretty clear cut. Another important part are the power structures of our society. These structures are contextual, and power dynamics that exist in one country may not exist in another.

Now you say you've been living in Japan, and to some degree I have to assume that you've been learning and adopting things from Japanese culture as a form of assimilation there. There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm going to assume you've been doing that with respect.

You carrying on those things in your life after you come home is not appropriation, but that doesn't mean it won't sometimes appear that way to someone -- so you might need to be ready to accept that. The experience of Japanese people and Japanese Americans are very different. Asian Americans have to deal with racism in a way that Japanese people living in Japan don't. There is a chance that your doing these things may be perceived as perpetrating a stereotype.

Not everyone is going to know your back story, nor will they take the time to listen to it even if you tell them.

There's also a danger that you may be doing something that is furthering a stereotype, but it's not bothering the Japanese people around you. The cultural power dynamic is very different where you are. A friend of mine who has lived in Japan for about fifteen years describes being a white person living there akin to being a "dancing bear." If he screws something up, he gets congratulated for trying -- and no one corrects him when he makes mistakes.

Everyone is just impressed the bear can dance in the first place, no one is expecting it to do a perfect Charleston.

So you may be doing something that in context, in Japan, is not seen as inappropriate, but repeating that activity in the context of the US (where you have shifted in power from the minority to the majority) might be.

So, like, make sure you don't fuck stuff up I guess?

So here's the TL;DR: If you continue to do things you added to your life while living in Japan and do them respectfully, it's probably not cultural appropriation at all. That doesn't mean it won't look like that to someone else though, and you have to be okay with that.

#cultural appropriation

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lunaprincipessa · 8 months

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ENTRY FOUR (CONTINUED: ENTRY SIX)

Part One

I was reading an article that talked about "why it can be sublime to love someone who doesn't love you back." I didn't really comprehend at first but after reading it through, I'm going to go through the parts I really enjoyed.

"Unrequited love might be bitter and painful, but it is also the ultimate expression of your humanity. Don't fight it."

I thought about fighting it too. I did have a moment where I didn't want to feel for him anymore because there was no point. I didn't ask for these feelings, they just happened. I considered a cord cutting ritual but I couldn't do it. I wanted to feel it through until it was over. It felt nice sometimes. It always does, really.

"If you have ever loved unrequitedly, then you know that living without any hope for a future with your beloved is a bitter experience indeed."

Yes, but if you notice, it's only when we want something back. When we want them to love us back, it hurts because it's just not meant to be. But feeling for them though, that in itself always feels pleasant and surreal.

"...for a while the proposed remedies might give us time and opportunity to heal from the hurt... they will not cause us to stop loving."

Wouldn't a great portion of life be easier or would have been easier had we been given the ability to turn our emotions off like a light switch? Sounds luxurious.

"Prudential reasons to fall out of love simply miss the mark, given the nature and structure of love as arational."

You can't utilize logic and reason with a person or situation that does not utilize logic and reason. Fair enough! Goes on to say:

"rational love is love justified by reasons. Arational love, by contrast, is love that is not justified by such rationales."

This is maybe the reason why the process can have elements of confusion and helplessness sometimes. So I'm gathering anyway.

"...we might even think of romantic love as not only arational, but also unconditional."

Agreed. Love has no reason, it just is and when it's real, when it's genuine, it is never bound by condition(s).

A previous mention worthy of bringing up:

"If love is possible in the absence of a relationship, the relationship cannot serve as its reason."

Interesting! And true I think for those of us who have felt for someone we've never been with. Of course, none of this condones or encourages toxic or abusive situations. Hoping that's a given! I mean, isn't that what inspires us to want to be in a relationship with someone in the first place? Maybe not full-blown love but the emotion, the foundation is certainly there.

"Unrequited love can be deeply painful... but if it is torture, it is torture of the most sublime and exquisite kind."

I actually love that. I love the way it's worded because it's true. It does hurt to know your love won't be returned, but it does feel amazing to love someone in the way that their presence uplifts your spirit and the way just the mere thought of their existence makes daily life so much more intriguing and adventurous.

"...exquisite torture is torture worth bearing."

Nothing more needs to be said, other than yesss. It is torture but it's the person I gave my heart to. I welcome it with open arms.

"The unrequited lover need not wish so impatiently for their love to end. Instead, they might embrace their love, for however long it persists. If you embrace your love, unrequited though it may be, it need not hurt you so."

I think this means to embrace the emotion, not acting on any wrongdoing or bringing on any event that may cause another human being harm. I allowed myself to love him because when I love someone, the blinders eventually fade, I can connect with them and learn about them, which I'm not always able to do when the emotion is new and raw. I tend to overlook a lot in that initial stage. But allowing it to take its course, my eyes open and then eventually it becomes clear as to why The Universe saw it fit to put us on different paths. This allows me to let go on my terms which is so much easier.

Part Two at some point!

More thoughts later.

#love #unrequited

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