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#we just ignore it
anaalnathrakhs · 1 month
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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stuckinapril · 3 months
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Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything
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courfee · 3 months
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oby jeggy is a different kind of dsfkdsf so here is them from the first fic in that series, i will touch you with my mind by my love @itsjaywalkers
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beeturtlle · 12 days
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Maizula nation please where r u
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aeide-thea · 1 year
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on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance
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lastoneout · 4 months
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Saw a post talking about this and didn't want to derail it, but like, honestly, at this point, I'm becoming less and less tolerant of people acting like straight/cis passing privilege is a real, very serious thing that needs to be taken into consideration every time someone speaks on queer issues bcs I swear to god the only time I ever see it actually brought up is when someone is trying to deny someone else a seat at the table. Like first it was used against bi+ people to explain why we're not queer unless we're in a same gender relationship, and then it was used to shit all over ace and aro people for not being "visibly queer", then they turned on nonbinary people who "look cis", and now I see people throwing it at trans men for some reason like???? This is legit becoming an exclusionist dogwhistle to me. Any merit to this concept is completely obliterated by assholes who are so addicted to playing oppression olympics they're meticulously crafting pokemon type advantage charts to categorize all the gays based on who actually has "real" problems and who doesn't, it's agonizing.
Like putting "straight/cis passing privilege" up on the shelf next to "comphet" until people can learn how to use it in a way that doesn't invalidate someone else's queerness.
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metamorphicrocky · 5 months
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at first I thought it was endearing to see the doctor constantly being like "oh do I say things like that now? is this who I am?" because it's an old face but with all the experiences and changes that come with living longer. so unlike ten, fourteen is open about his feelings because there were lingering regrets with not telling people how she felt as thirteen
BUT NOW. not-donna saying you're scared. because of the flux. because the universe destroyed itself just in the chance it could destroy you. and you know now that you're not from gallifrey and that scares you. because the doctor is scared. everything they ever knew is thrown out because on top of everything an old face came back and the doctor can't figure out why
the timeless child and the flux just being MENTIONED brought the doctor to frightened tears and we have never seen anything like that before. the doctor is so so lost and just wants to know who they are. so regenerating into something new but old has thrown them off so much that at every turn he thinks "huh. is this who I am?" and it is so strange to see the doctor unsure about themself, questioning their identity every second. and it is HEARTBREAKING
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I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17
It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.
All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.
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somerandomdudelmao · 8 months
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Ahahaha?
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clouvu · 1 month
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Save me french yuri... Save me
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voiider · 19 days
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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)
Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes
And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day
The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)
And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip
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taxinealkaloids · 1 year
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girls will literally turn their parents’ corpses into meat puppets to prevent the House of their birthright from being annexed by other powers 
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snazzydwarf · 3 months
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(This was written in July oh dear-)
You know how in a lot of fics a de-aged Danny winds up in Gotham either via Clockwork putting him there, or Danny goes through a portal (either through his own volition or not) and ends up being taken in by one of the bats?
Okay that, but what if he was never picked up and ends up falling through the cracks and becoming one of the many homeless children wandering Gotham's streets, but unlike all the other street kids who know when to keep their head down Danny just doesn't have those fear receptors... like at all- It's almost scary with how the kid manages to just not give a single flying fuck about what is going on.
So after a while of wandering the streets and getting acquainted with the Gotham's inhabitants everyone slowly get's used to the kid wandering around, dropping their guard and greeting him with smiles when he toddles around the corner, looking for his next meal or piece of scrap clothing.
Perhaps it's this show of trust they begin to notice the strangeness that hangs around him like a cloud. The shifting coloured eyes, the coldness in his skin that never seems to go away no matter how much clothing the kid gets bundled in.
The fact that no one knows where he goes once they take their eyes on him? Spooky to say the least, but they're Gothamites! One shady, possibly meta, kid ain't gonna change anything.
So he becomes a staple in everyone's lives, and eventually learned his name is Danny. He talks about having an older sister called Jazz, two best friends and a puppy he named Cujo. (who let their kids watch Cujo???) They also learned he had an innate fear of The Bats, whenever one swept into the streets during their nightly patrol he would just... disappear. He became unfindable and wouldn't appear until the next day.
At first they thought it was him finding a safe place to sleep while the night rolled around and the Rouges came out to play, but that assumption was quickly squashed when he was caught wailing on one of the Jokers henchmen. The white makeup couldn't even cover up the black and blue bruises that covered his face.
It was comical, if not a bit frightening to see this small child practically a baby sitting upon a knocked out, grown ass man. His little stubby legs dangling off the side of his body, too small to even reach the ground.
Of course nothing stays under the Bats radar for long so he end up eventually getting spotted. However none of the Bats where expecting such resistance from the civilians when they offered to take the kid.
Now whenever the little tyke is bumbling around and a Bat (or any other vigilante associated with them) is in the area, it's all hands on deck to distract Danny and get him somewhere else.
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lazylittledragon · 3 months
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did somebody say dadkarios
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allastoredeer · 23 days
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Ya'll want to know the funniest shit?
I'm researching the era when Alastor was alive right now to get a better idea of both his character, the life he lived before Hell, and to hash out a backstory for him.
And so, apparently, Alastor lived through the Prohibition (which was basically the United States government illegalizing the manufacture, transportation, and sale of alcohol because they thought it was the cause of a lot of domestic violence and child abandonment).
Alastor canonically died in 1933.
Do you know how long the Prohibition lasted?
From 1920-1933.
ALASTOR LITERALLY DIED THE SAME YEAR ALCOHOL BECAME LEGAL AGAIN. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW BITTER HE MUST'VE BEEN?
The Prohibition officially ended on December 5, 1933, and now my headcanon is that Alastor died December 6, 1933. Literally the day after he could legally drink all the booze he wanted.
I am learning a LOT about New Orleans and the era Alastor lived through (including the gay community in the city at the time) which has been a lot of fun, and I just wanted to share that tidbit because it is so fucking funny to me.
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