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midnightsnyx · 5 months

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girl at home | mat barzal | part 5

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited word count: 2.3k authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3 send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?

if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3

requests are open. masterpost masterlist taglist form ask box

You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you.

“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.

It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same.

Apparently someone didn’t get the memo.

You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down.

“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater.

She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong.

“Who told you Mat was your daddy?”

She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.

“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.”

She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes.

She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”

Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time.

“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

I’m sorry I kept you a secret.

“How come everyone is saying he’s not?”

Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.

“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.

“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?”

“I’m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry.

. . .

Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!

You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go.

“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s.

You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”

“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered.

“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes.

“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns.

“How come?”

You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning.

“Just no, Nora.”

“But Zoe does!”

You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of.

“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response.

“Do I have to call him dad?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.

“Do you want to call him dad?”

She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head.

“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.”

“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”

“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around.

“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you.

“Can I help with anything?”

“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”

You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl.

Not that you care, obviously.

Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly.

“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards.

Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.

“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.

Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you.

When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem.

Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned.

“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.

“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”

He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.”

You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.

“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!”

You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.

“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.”

He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger.

“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”

You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now.

“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”

His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”

You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.

“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”

He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face.

“Does she know?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”

“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.

You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”

He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating.

So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him.

“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”

He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”

You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.

“Together,” you agree.

tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @alilstressyandlotdepressy @teapartydreams @keiva1000

#hockey imagines #allies writing #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #mat barzal fanfiction #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal x reader

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ilovemychunkycat · 11 months

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AFAB Wanderer, maybe? It can be headcanons about him getting overstimulated (to give him a break for a day or longer..) after overworking himself or purposely making the reader jealous 😊

YES I LOVE AFAB WANDERER TY KIND ANON 🙏

relationship: gn! reader x afab!wanderer

tw: overstimulation, overworked wanderer, eating out, fingering, degrading

genre: smut, reccomend to be atleast over 15.

(edit: I'm going to remake this later, I don't like how this turned out)

Wanderer was always overworking himself.

And you were TIRED of it.

He never has time for you, and when he does? He hangs out with Nahida.

You just had to do something about it!

And you did.

You asked around town, where the wanderer could've went.

You got clues, and eventually it led you to him.

"Wanderer." You spoke in a stern voice, making him jump.

"[N-Name]? How did you find me?" He spoke almost nervously, he knew what was going to happen next.

"Come home, now." You grabbed his hand, walking home.

"[Name]! We can talk about this-"

"Shh, you might even enjoy it." You snapped.

—

"[N-Nam-] Hhn- Im sowry! Please-" You were eating him out ruthlessly, making Wanderer shudder.

"[Name]! I'm gonna– Hngh!" The coil in his stomach snapped as he moaned loudly.

Though you didn't stop, you licked faster, flicking up his clit every now and then.

"What- Ugh~ You bast- mm!" Wanderer couldn't even form words, his eyes closed and he was drooling.

"You asked for this, don't be calling me the bastard." You growled, pulling his face down to your level.

He tried kissing you, but you stopped him, covering your hand over his mouth.

You focused back onto his cunt, his juices dripping down his thighs so beautifully.

You immediately pinned him down, shoving a finger in his cunt.

"Haah- [Name]! It hurts!" He whimpered as you moved your finger slowly, as to tease him.

"[Name]! Faste..ghk! Faster!"

"You were whining it hurts, now you want more? Such a brat." You slapped his pussy, making him jolt and moan.

"Maybe I should get someone else to take care of you. Would you like that, slut?"

"No! Only- mm~ You! Please-"

"As I thought, You only love me."

"Yes! Yes!" At his answer, you shoved 2 more fingers in, having 3 ram his cunt.

"[Name]- Gonna cum again! Please!"

"Cum, baby."

He came once more with a whine, bucking his hips at your fingers.

"You want more? You really are a slut."

You moved to look at your dresser, grabbing a large vibrator from the drawer.

You immediately shoved it in his pussy, turning it to max power.

"Huh! When did you HMM! Have ngh- This?" He whined and tossed around.

"A long time, just waiting for the right moment."

"I- I think i'm gonna MMGH! Cum!" Has he already said that? He doesn't remember.

"I wonder how much I can get from you."

—

"I don't think I'll be able to walk for days..." Wanderer groaned.

"Good! That means you get to stay with me!" You exclaimed

"Good?!?" Wanderer looked at you surprised.

#genshin impact #sub!genshin #sub genshin #afab wanderer #afab #afab character #wanderer #wanderer genshin #wanderer x reader #smut #genshin smut

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5eraphim · 1 year

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how would u rank each merc on a scale of 1 to 10 for how hot they are

ranked from lowest to highest-

(non of this was proofread, so sorry abt that/edit later maybe?)

alright so sprinting into dead last is scout- im sorry ive said this a billion times but CHRIST ALIVE- (-10/10)

like im so pissed too- your ma is a SMOKESHOW, you're dad is (dare i say) also a 10, how did it happen like this? he's like a precum baby i think. like he's not all the way human. he wasn't meant to be like this, but yet here he stands, a pancaked-ass Masshole in the place a greater man might have stood. i want to break his spine over my knee.

sniper after scout. (4/10)

his voice is sooooo great, and i have warmed up a bit to him, but all the same. he's just not my type physicality wise, but i think i get the appeal. i also thought it was really sweet they let him have that soft moment with his parents in heaven where his dad tells him how proud he was and all that. (assuming it wasn't all a hallucination, but i digress,) i would've expected them to show his dad giving him a hard time one last time before he came back to earth, but i'm happy the comics let him have this :)

pyro next, (5/10)

the cop out answer is "well obviously the fire-brandishing character is the hottest-" but that's lame to me. it's honestly REALLY hard for me to see them as attractive or "dateable" just bc I project "my child" onto them. I've mentioned before, but i don't like them bc i wanna fuck them, i wanna protect them like a mother. i wanna feed them a homecooked stew with a wooden spoon, i wanna make crayon drawings with them, tell them bedtime stories, hand-stich him a stuffed animal, yk that sort of vibe. i do care for them a lot, but not in a romantic sense tbh.

Demo and Soldier (7/10)

I'm putting them together bc they are only really attractive to me when they're drawn with bulk-muscle. the idea of either of them packing on lean muscle is so weird to me. but they just feel like such living embodiments of "just here for a good time," and honestly? sometimes that's all you need :) If i HAD to put one above the other, I would put Demo over Solder, bc i ADORE fanart and official art that give him that cute little drunken lazy smile. it's just such a little thing that is so endearing to me!

Spy (10/10)

i'm sorry, i genuinely have no idea why i'm such an apologist for him, i deserve to have my rights taken away for this.

but i think i genuinely envy him in a lot of ways. he's not exactly the kind of attractive i want, but what i want to become. i envy his poise, his swagger, his cunning, (his ability to pull scout's ma). he's such a great jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold type of older guy, of which i am weak to, alas. i NEED to go on a shoplifting spree with this bitch-

Heavy (10/10)

the hottest thing to fantasize abt heavy to me is him calling me a weak little baby and mocking me for being a 5'3 underweight, anemic little loser. this man could DESTROY ME, and damn is that fun to think about, but! I'd be remiss not to mention how much he loves his family, how he would do ANYTHING to protect those he loves the most, and i swear, that one panel in the comics of him hugging his mother gets me every time.

medic (15/10)

what is there even to say that hasn't been said?

He's a chaotic-hottie if ever there's been one, with a kind of zest for life which is remarkable, even in a cast of colorful manic weirdoes. but like, CHRIST this man makes me go feral. like i want him to wrap his gloves around my neck tight enough for the latex to start squeeking, i wanna feel those high-traction combat boots DIGGING into my back as he crushes me into the floor, i want him to drain me of blood and make fun of me for passing out- i would let this man do so many unspeakable things to me...

engie (20/10)

i will never get tired of this guy <3 he's the living embodiment of "southern comfort," and much like medic, it's not at all surprising people love him so much. no one else has his character's incredible dichotomy of, sweet and gentle, while also able to deal out insane levels of violence (heavy comes close, but he doesn't quiet have engie's soft approachable disposition). definitely got the short end of the stick in the comics imo, as we don't get to see much of his family (or rather him interacting WITH his family) but in game at least he gives them lot's of shout-outs which is nice, but honestly makes me want to see them all the more! he's such a whore for all those cozy knit-wear cosmetics too. he's perfect in every way, he makes my heart flutter, he has never done anything wrong in his life ever, i would die to protect him.

#anonymous #thank you so much for the ask <3 #im so sorry you had to read this <3 #x reader #self ship #ALL STAR SCOUT SIMP ANON LOOK AWAY #the way that the scout simp anon is the first person who ever sent in a oneshot req #and like got me back into writing #to which ive repaid them by doing NOTHING but shit on scout since- IM SORRY I OWE YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE FAILED YOU SOOO HARD #all mercs

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withlovelunette · 11 months

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Hi! I love your account and posts! I was wondering if you have any advice for me.. I recently picked up writing as a hobby and I really want to improve. So I've found that im good at writing slow scenes esp fluff / romantic scenes but when it comes to fast paced ones where a lot of action and dialogue is happening especially between more than two characters i find it very hard to make it flow naturally, how can i get better at this?

Hello there!! Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoy it! :,) And also, glad to hear you've gotten into writing, welcome!

So scene pacing is one of those things that can take a long time to fully "perfect". Just from my own experience, I usually focus my first couple of drafts on just making sure I have everything I want to convey within the story, and usually fine tune the pacing later. I'm definitely on the same boat as you, where slow scenes tend to come more naturally to me and usually require less adjustments throughout my editing process, as opposed to my fast paced scenes. I don't typically write a lot of action heavy stories, but I've run into this problem a few times nonetheless, so while I don't think I have any sort of expertise on the subject, I've compiled a list of things I like to keep in mind; from one slow-paced scene lover to another :D

(Also; content warning for some writing involving violence! It's nothing too graphic, but I do compare some action writing that includes violence, so just a head's up!)

1. Sentence length variation!

This is probably the most common advice you'll find so I'm just gonna get this one out of the way right away. Basically, by lengthening your sentences, the reader is forced to pace their own reading, practically "slowing them down" so they can fully comprehend the sentence. For the opposite effect; Be short and concise. Don't drag out your sentences. No meandering.

I should point out that for this technique to actually be effective, you need to have variation (as shown in the paragraph above). When your character is analysing the situation, plotting, planning, etc. you'll want to use longer sentences, and then reserve the shorter ones for the action. This also helps to convey the urgency the character feels, since we generally tend to not think as thoroughly when we're under stress.

This technique can drastically alter the flow of conversations as well, which I've tried to illustrate with this very simplistic dialogue ^^;

Version 1

"Why are you home so late?" "It's not that late. I was just out with some friends," the boy breathes out, slipping his jacket off and draping it over his shoulder. "Which friends?" "Friends, mom," he answers with a groan. "Yeah, I have friends." "I don't like your tone."

Version 2

"Why are you home so late?" "It's not that late. I was just out with some friends," the boy breathes out, slipping his jacket off and draping it over his shoulder. His mother raises an eyebrow. "Which friends?" "Friends, mom," he answers with a groan, head tilted back. "Yeah, I have friends." A grimace etches itself into the woman's face, her features distorted and uncanny beneath the florescent lighting of the hallway. "I don't like your tone."

This might not be a perfect example, but my point is that the entire tone and flow of the dialogue can change based on how descriptive you decide to be. The first version is a lot more snappy, a quick back and forth between an angsty teen and a tired mother, while the second version indulges in the exchange way more, essentially dragging out the pacing of the dialogue as well, and building up to the mother's response.

2. Choosing the right verbs

When writing action, your focus should really be to choose good and effective verbs. The verb "pull" conveys more force than "tug", for example, even though they convey the same action. To haul or heave something has even more force behind it, or compare push vs shove.

I also find that certain words just "sound" more intense, because they have a certain sharpness to them. For example, slip, slick, plunge, snatch, split, etc. Compared to stumble, sleek, push, grab, fracture, etc. I think this is mainly a linguistic thing, since some words have harsher consonants, but it can be helpful to just pull up a thesaurus sometimes and see if there's a stronger verb that you can implement!

This is also a great way to avoid adverbs. I definitely think some people exaggerate whenever they say to never use adverbs, but in action, you should really try to cut down as much of your adverbs as possible. If you have a good verb, you usually don't need an adverb, and by cutting out adverbs, you're quickening the pace of the writing!

For example: "She stabbed the knife deeply into his stomach" vs "She thrust the knife into his stomach". The word "thrust" already conveys the strength and speed of the knife, so there's no reason to add "deeply", because it's kinda self explanatory that a knife "thrust" into someone's stomach would go in deep.

3. Focus on the senses.

Because you want to limit any descriptions of the character's thinking during the height of the action, a great way to still include description in your writing is to focus on the senses, and there's two primary reasons for this.

Firstly - when under stress, we don't necessarily have the time to thoroughly think about or dwell on our situation, and are instead too preoccupied with our senses. Thus, in limiting your descriptions to the senses, it helps convey that those descriptions are all very immediate and urgent.

Secondly - this is a great way to get insight into the character's mindset without meandering. For example, if a character tastes blood in their mouth and takes the time to thoroughly describe the taste, how it feels, and what their reaction to it is, then that naturally takes away some of the tension and urgency. However, if a character describes tasting blood and being hit with nausea, but doesn't dwell on it, not only does this convey the urgency (namely that the character doesn't have time to dwell on it), but also that the character is so preoccupied with the action that their bodily comforts must be sidelined for the time being.

You want to still be very brief with descriptions of the senses (at least during the height of action scenes), and you'll want to pick words that really convey what you want with as little space as possible. For example, describing a smell as a stench vs an aroma conveys two wildly different types of smell, even without me describing those smells. This isn't to say that you shouldn't ever go into any details at all, but if you're reading a draft and find that the action is dragging out too much, try cutting out descriptions and substituting them with stronger words.

4. Don't over-explain

I think writers sometimes get too caught up with trying to make an intense action choreography. I know they can be fun to imagine and to witness on-screen, but in writing, it can get very confusing very quickly. Just remember to be concise with what is where, who is doing what, where limbs/weapons are, etc. It's a lot better to have something that's simple yet comprehensible, as opposed to something complex and confusing. When writers begin to over-explain and complicate, that's usually where you'll find clunky sentences that mess up the flow of the action. Less is often more!

I actually really enjoy listening to Critical Role for this reason (the biggest DnD podcast/stream at the moment). Their action scenes are usually very precise and straightforward, and while I'd definitely embellish some of it when writing, it lays a good foundation! Highly recommend giving them a listen if you want examples of concise action scenes!

In terms of writing multiple characters in fast paced scenes; I really encourage you to either focus the writing on one character's experience/perception of the action (if the perspective you've chosen allows for it), or to split the gang up. Again, it doesn't matter how well paced your action is if it's confusing who is where and who's doing what, because that confusion contributes to slowing down the pacing! If you really insist on keeping multiple characters "on-screen" during a fast paced scene, you can convey some of that tension with minimal confusion by prioritising one character's perspective, because limiting the speed and amount of information is really the key to quickening the pacing, and by limiting the reader to only getting information through one character, you can better manage the flow of information as well!

– Outro

Sorry this took so long, I really appreciate the patience! Again, I don't think action scenes are really my strongest area, considering I don't write much action, but as someone who also struggles with writing action and pacing fast-paced scenes right, these are usually the things I look out for when troubleshooting pacing issues in my writing! I hope this managed to help you out a little bit, but if anything's unclear, just let me know and I'll try my best to clarify! ^^;

#answered asks #writing advice

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT 'what did i do?' exist 'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish? 'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort. 'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie. 'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it. 'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was... 'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry! 'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes. 'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming? 'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!! 'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice. 'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT 'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better? 'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES 'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here. 'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine. 'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though. AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though. yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like??? ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form?? these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them). and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty). hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

HI <3

have you ever watched aristocats? i remember loving it as a child but also i cant remember anything that happened in the film besides the fact i love this kitty mari(? is that her name lol AHHAH) so much

good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT

YES TEENY TINY KITTY <3

'what did i do?' exist

omg HAHAHA love that for me HAHA

'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish?

oh does it. it just looks... cute to me HAHAHAH

'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort.

<3 <3

'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie.

thank you i love you

'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з

did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it.

lol ok once i finish my midterms ill watch that after watching one ep from the last of us. now i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities

'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was...

they look like they have so much fun, both in the show but also shooting it irl

'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry!

T_T

'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes.

damn ok HAHAH

'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming?

but its part of the process. i love making art and moodboards <3

'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!!

<3 it is so much fun to write that. it sucks that i find it hard to write, though i did manage to make a pedro pascal fic again AHAHHA

'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice.

thank you my love

'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT

THE BEANZ I LOVE THE PAW PAW BEANS

'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better?

i never said you should follow my example. listen to your teachers kid. also idk if im better im usually out of it when im hungry im quite hungry rn but ill eat later after my grunkle is finished eating

'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES

thank you. it rained today, so its not hot. your freezy kisses did that

'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here.

T_T im just really hungry but this is making me emotional T_T

'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine.

thank you <3 T_T

'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though.

you dont have to watch the tiger series if you dont want to. i only shared it because i liked it and you shared something you like to me. i love the wolf video so much. i love nature. i love God. i love everything <3

AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though.

me HAHAAH

yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone

omg you like shadow and bone too <3 SLAY IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH S2

then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like???

i know you dont have tiktok but there is this tiktok creator that is think is like... from one of the stan countries, and she talked about what you just told me, or things like that. its really interesting to know there is a grishaverse! good for you hahahh you can understand the russian stuff/inspo cause youre russian <3

ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form??

i think slay i love that for them i didnt even know that but they totally did it for me <3 HAHAH

these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them).

i dont think i understand this anymore. AHHA i dont know enough about russian/russian names to get it AHHAH. maybe they did it for the aesthetic. are you watching season 1? or season 2? all i know is i was so sosoossosososo excited to see ben barnes my benny barnes who i keep having a crush on in every stage of my life. how dare he be so hot T_T

and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT

it makes me wonder if the original creator of this world, the author or the books, is russian. i just looked it up, apparently she is israelli-american interesting lol HAHAHAH

ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty).

jokes on your friend i love cliche stories. yum yum yum HAHAHH. you should have just told me my love. i love hearing your ideas, even though i have no intention to write them. i love you so much dont apologize for 'this outburst'

hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

im going to eat then do homework <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 take care ok

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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osogitz · 2 years

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*sigh* ... ok ... let’s tackle this differently...

I see, once again, the intellectually dishonest “discussion” of female space marines has come up. Not surprised. It usually happens this time every year because woke idealogues cant help but project their cult into everything they touch. So I am gonna do something different this time. And something i know you aren’t suppose to do which is entertain idiocy. But I have never been the sharpest tool in the box. I am going to issue all a challenge. (Yes, that includes myself. Wouldn’t be fair otherwise. The whole “rules for you, not for me thing.) One of the handful of challenges GW would have if they wanted to recanonize it (I will get back to this later) Explain in lore, WITH RESPECT AND REGARD FOR IT AS IT CURRENTLY IS, a female Astartes existence. Rules: A) You must do so without it injecting modern day dogma. If you do, you have failed. Just as GW would as well. Despite what you might think, there are decently reasonable people that are just tired of everything being socially and politically motivated and just want the product to be better. The quickest way to lose these people will be to echo that same mentality. There will always be more of them, than you. So DON’T. Again, Doing so for GW would be failure on their part, so it’s a failure here for you too. B) You DO NOT get to cherry pick “outdated” lore for your justification. If i do not get to do it for “men only”, you don’t get to either. Outdated will be defined as anything that is reinforced in some way canonically in or after third edition. Whether it be by Novels or codexes. notes: If you TRULY love this property and want to see it grow for the better, you will never be able to do so by tying it down to “CURRENT YEAR”. It needs to be timeless. Your woke political bullshit is not timeless. History has shown us this. I mentioned intellectual dishonesty earlier. Yes, that’s what this discussion always is. It’s roots are always “Boys arent allowed to have their own spaces but women can” kind of hypocrisy. Always includes constant gas lighting by accusing people of misogyny. It’s never about making the brand better. yes. I am aware of the old pre(?) first edition Female space marines models. I didn’t until recently, Interesting discovery. Clearly GW abandoned the idea for financial reasons (more likely, target demographic reasonings). They probably influenced the existence of SoB and I love me some SoB. But this is old lore, and the goal post moving hypocrits always love to say “that’s old and outdated, you cant use that”. So im drawing the line and saying niether of us can. I realize and expect that doing this on Tumblr will have the same exact effect as if I had done it on twitter. The internet’s idiocy and dishonesty honestly knows no bounds. But if someone doesn’t try to at least be somewhat constructively critical, no honesty is had.

I will check this post every other day until the end of June. At which time, I will post my answer to my own challenge. I realize for many “man of my word” is a dead product. I can assure you, it is not for me. I have been involved with Warhammer 40000 in one way or another for twenty years of my life. Hobby, gaming, video gaming, reading, all of it (though, i admit i havent had time to read alot of the recent stuff) I am indeed, passionate about the universe and that’s what I want you to do. If you took the time to read this, thank you for your time. I look forward to your responses.

#Warhammer #astartes #space marines #Intellectual dishonesty #challenge #criticism #story writing #Have a nice day #warhammer community

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laurieelaurel · 2 years

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can we also get Satan, Beel, and Diavolo reacting to an ace MC? they’re my faves and my asexual ass craves validation agsjgshs

Brothers + Diavolo reacting to MC being asexual

Warnings: fluff, not edited!!

(Satan, Beel, Dia x gn!ace!reader)

Haha ofc <3 I will pretend like this didn't take over a week to write and I am definitely not neglecting my studies for 2d boys im also gonna have to go over this one later because I am posting this when I am very tiRED

Satan

As someone who doesn't normally go out of his way to initiate a lot of physical contact, he probably wouldn't have normally noticed your aversion to it

Will instead start noticing from observing your interactions with the other brothers - he was wondering if the way you behave around him was the same as around the others (in a not creepy way, just trying to see if you act the same around all of his brothers and it’s not a problem with him specifically)

Satan never really had any need to confront you or even know about your sexual preferences

Even as you get closer and closer, Satan is not the type to start initiating it first

Makes it easier to spend time around him though, so you might be faster to warm up to him

Seeing as you’ve never brought up physical contact or ever initiated yourself, he wants to respect your boundaries and it’s never discussed out loud

When a conversation you’re having with him turns suggestive he might make a comment or joke that makes you uncomfortable and he’ll notice immediately

You tried to laugh it off, you really did. You swear you didn’t even feel your face tense up but of course Satan just had to notice everything. “Mc?” He questioned, his eyes already studying your face as he put away the book he was reading. He didn’t add anything else, leaving your name hanging in the air to sound oddly similar to a one word threat. Your eyes met his, feeling almost guilty for no reason at all - his risqué questions from a few seconds ago really contrasting with the way he spoke now like a mother lecturing a child. You really didn’t know what to say and just sat still as a board as Satan continued cautiously. “Are you alright?”

It takes you a while to evaluate your choices but once you get over your initial hesitation you realize there's nothing to worry about

Satan seems like the ideal person to talk to about your sexuality seeing as he, from what you see, seems disinterested with sex and/or physical contact

You feel comfortable enough to just simply state "Oh, I'm asexual,"

"Makes sense," Satan answers, nodding as the gears start to turn in his head - truthfully, he hadn't considered that an option and is mentally kicking himself for not understanding human reactions better

Not a lot changes tbh, he'll just make sure to steer clear from any sexual jokes when he's teasing you

Satan is a man of restraint - do you think it's easy to keep centuries of wrath at bay under his pleasant smile? He can do without indulging in sex - what purpose does it serve to him?

The only time he'd see worth in it is to find intimacy doing it with a special person - you're his special person now and if you don't want it? then he doesn't care for it either.

Honestly spending quality time with him is enough for him to fall in love with you more and more - if you ever find yourself in his arms, leaning into his touch will make his heart melt and now both of you are mushy piles of fluff

Beel

Beel is like the opposite of Satan when it comes to physical contact

Even when there's no romantic intent with his embraces, he just likes holding you close because he just knows you're there

He's the avatar of gluttony and gluttony doesn't only refer to food - it's an overindulgence and he would just love to indulge in you and your presence

But as such a sweet but not so gentle giant, he doesn't quite know how to control his strength so a quick hug can turn into a death grip if he's not careful

If he were to feel you squirm around, feeling uncomfortable in his grasp, he'll assume it's because of his rough handling

Will let go of you immediately but act a lot more cautiously around you, almost like a kicked puppy

If it happens more than once, it really hurts him </3 - he knows his stature and strength can be intimidating and he's trying his very best but if it's not enough for you to feel safe, he might feel the need to distance himself from you

This'll only hurt the both of you so go and confront it before any more misunderstandings come up

"Beel?" you whisper, tapping his arm gently, "Beel can we talk?" He only let out an unintelligible mumble as he continued to stuff his face with the contents of the fridge. You clear your throat awkwardly as you try again, "Beel...? Can we-" Upon being interrupted a second time, Beel turns around, making eye contact before freezing mid bite. "M..Mc?" he coughed out, putting down a half eaten fried devil chicken, "What are you-" He started before catching himself, "uhm, I mean, what are you doing here?" Waking Lucifer up at 2 am to catch the two of you in the kitchen would not be good. "Looking for you," you reply quietly, crossing your arms over your chest as you take a step closer "But I...I thought you were scared of me-"

Please tell this boy (and explain what asexuality means while you're at it, I doubt these terms are thrown around in the devildom very often)

Will understand once you explain to him and will always prioritize your comfort before his

Still, Beel is a physical guy and that's the way he naturally shows affection so his first instinct when comforting you would be to offer a big hug

Takes some getting used to and he's a bit bummed about not being able to cuddle you

Even something as small as hand holding is enough to make him smile

But make sure to feed him some more compliments (and some food!)

Diavolo

You've become the significant other of the prince of the Devildom - try and tell me you won't become pampered to high heaven (or hell I suppose?)

Showers you in lavish gifts and always has his arm linked around yours - The entirety of the devildom needs to know you're his

Despite his role as ruler of the Devildom, he enjoys acting out on every whim he pleases (much to the chagrin of both Barb and lucifer)

Though it’s exactly because of his role as ruler that he hasn’t quite been able to experience a lot of your traditional affection - not very many can expect to act buddy buddy with the prince of the devildom and not expect to be ripped apart by Lucifer

So expect him to be more than eager to start learning with you

Will most definitely notice the way you cringe away from his touch should his hands ever wander during a boring meeting

Diavolo's hand lowered from your thigh immediately, sending you a brief side glance before finding your hand instead. You felt him squeeze your hand, almost as if trying to reassure you as another one of his advisors stood up to make his report. He turns to give you a smile and you give a small one in return, shifting uncomfortably in your chair as you feel embarrassed for no good reason. Diavolo notices - of course he notices - and calls the meeting to a close right after the other demon's mouth closes and you have a sneaking suspicion that just maybe it has to do with you. "Talk to me my beloved, what's wrong?"

You can tell him anything you want and he'll listen with the same patient smile on his face

He doesn't care for sex, truly he doesn't. You choosing to stay with him is more than he could have ever asked of you already

Despite his constant sidetracking, he's still a very very busy guy - he's glad that you won't be affected by him being too busy or busy for nightly activities

Although, he does have a habit of wrapping his arm snugly around your waist when out or during formal events - just making sure you're as close to him as possible (and to dissuade the many that are probably still skeptical of his relationship with a human)

Diavolo can be possessive but he's not pushy. He's more than happy to change that if you prefer linking arms or holding hands instead but bear in mind you will need to be showing some

Oh and do tell him the names of any and all high ranking demons that have the gall to prod or ridicule you about your sexuality, because let's face it, at least a few of the more older and traditional demons are gonna have a problem with your everything.

And if you're an afab, if anyone else wants to make any passing remarks about you needing to bear his children go ahead and tell Barbatos as well - Upsetting you with such disgusting remarks is more than enough to get rid of an uncouth scoundrel (if you ever question him about his disappearance he'll say he was gonna go anyways )

#asexual #ace pride #obey me #obey me satan #obey me diavolo #obey me beelzebub #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me headcanons

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bts-reveries · 3 years

Text

expect the unexpected | 19

(images in between and in the end)

Jin had just picked up his two oldest and is now back in his office. It’s been a long day. Having Haneul alone with him was already a hard time but adding two more? He tried his best to maintain his composure as Yeonjun told him the rest of the schedule for today.

“So right now we have all this paperwork to go through because it has to be sent out today, and then we have to go to a video shoot at 4:30pm. Jungkook should be here soon. Afterwards, when we get back, we have a meeting regarding the promotional photoshoots for the new drama, Save Me, with their Director, Producer, and the seven lead actors.” Yeonjun says. “I heard it’s really good. Kind of confusing actually when I saw the trailer. There’s this seven group of friends and they all make some sort of bad decision in their lives and they.. Well not all of them but I think some of them die? Then come back to life? I don’t know, but one of them is a time traveler I think..” Yeonjun trailed on, looking up as he thought back to the trailer.

Although, Jin wasn’t really listening.

“Dad, what does this word mean?” Minseok asks, pointing to his book.

“Daddy can we get ice cream in the cafeteria,” Soojin says, holding onto the door knob.

“Carry meee,” Haneul whines, he’s standing by Jin’s leg, trying to climb onto his dad’s lap.

“Anyways,” Yeonjun says, going back on track. “It should be fun. They’ll be here around 6pm. Which, I understand, is around dinner time, but it was the only available time they had for a meeting. This drama was a big hit on webtoon. It’s good exposure for us for them to use our studio.”

“Dad!” Minseok called, he’s now standing next to Jin. “Can you help me please? I don’t know this word.”

“DDDAAAAAADDDYY!” Soojin yells. “Can we please get ice cream!”

“Caaarryyy meeeeee!” Haneul screams, bursting into tears.

Jin drops his head into his hands. “My head. Is going. To ex-plode.”

“Minseok, I’ll help you with your homework, come with me,” Yeonjun says, finally realizing how tired and stressed Jin was. Minseok glances at his dad before walking towards Yeonjun and grabbing onto his hand that he was holding out. Then Soojin came running to Jin’s side, where Minseok was just standing.

“Daddy you’re not listening to me,” Soojin frowns. Jin turns to the side and looks at her. His sweet, precious daughter. The one he can never say no to.

“Soojin it’s cold, you’re going to get sick if you eat ice cream,” Jin calmly says. “And you haven’t even done your homework yet. Go with Minseok and Uncle Yeonjun and do your homework with them.”

Soojin’s lip starts to quiver, “but I just want to eat a little bit. I can do my homework when I’m done…”

“Soojin, daddy said no. Now go,” Jin says, turning to the side to pick up Haneul. He was still crying his eyes out. Soojin looked down, a big frown on her face and tears started running down her face. Jin was too busy wiping Haneul’s tears away and shushing him that he didn’t know Soojin was crying until he heard her sobbing when she walked away.

“Soojin,” Jin called out. She didn’t answer, nor did she look back. “Soojinie,” Jin calls again. “Yah, Kim Soojin!”

“w-AHH!” Jin yells, the three, Yeonjun, Minseok, and Soojin all looked back at Jin when they heard him yell.

Yeonjun has never seen him so mad before.

Jin puts down Haneul and stands up.

Hot coffee dripped down his suit. His tie and white dress shirt was completely soaked.

Jin puts both hands on his desk, leaning forward as he sighs.

Haneul wasn’t done crying, flailing his hand around and started hitting things on the table, grabbing things, causing Jin’s cup of coffee to come flying at his chest. Not to mention, spilling all over the paperwork that had to be done.

“Sir, I have a sweatshirt you can borrow in my bag,” Yeonjun says, standing up immediately to grab his duffle bag. He usually worked out in the gym Jin had a whole floor of in his building. “You can change into it now so you don’t get all sticky,” he says, handing a white sweatshirt to Jin. Jin says a quiet thank you, grabbing the sweatshirt from Yeonjun and placing it on the back of his chair as he took off his blazer, his tie, and his white dress shirt.

Haneul was still sniffling and he quickly ran to Yeonjun when he made eye contact with his dad.

“Yeonjun,” Jin says. “Do you have the soft copy for these,” he says, pointing to the sticky mess on his table.

“Yes sir,” Yeonjun says, running over to get his laptop. “I’ll send them to you right now.” Jin sounded awfully calm right now, which scared the kids even more. Minseok was fidgeting with his book as he looked at his dad and Soojin was sitting next to him, playing with her hands. Haneul was standing by the couch, trying to hide. He would take small glances at his dad as he watched him clean up the mess he made.

“And also, we can’t cancel the meeting so just make sure our guests feel welcome when they come here for our meeting. I’ll connect from my laptop because we’ll be going home soon. I’ll continue my work there. You’re in charge here, make sure everyone is in that meeting and please have someone set up a TV in our boardroom so they can all see me when I connect. Umm, yeah, that’s all-- Oh, I won’t be there for the video shoot. We won’t get anything done and will only be a bother if I come with the kids so just go with Jungkook okay?”

“Okay sir.”

“Kids pack your stuff, we’re going to leave in a bit,” Jin says, going back to cleaning his desk. The kids hurriedly grabbed their things, stuffing it into their backpacks.

Jin wasn’t mad often, but when he was…

He’s definitely scary.

“Hello everyone, first of all, thank you all for being here. I apologize that I couldn’t be there with you in person. I really wanted to be there but I am working as both CEO and dad tonight,” Jin says lightheartedly. He watches everyone smile through his laptop. “Second of all, I want to apologize beforehand. My three kids might pop up here and there and interrupt, but I talked to them before this and we should be okay. But just in case,” Jin says, raising his head to see if the kids are nearby. His office had clear doors for him to be able to see the kids.

“Okay, so it looks like the coast is clear,” Jin jokes, we can start our meeting now. Jin nods his head, gesturing for the first person to go ahead and start off the meeting. First they had to talk about the drama and it’s concept so they can have a feel of how they can take the photos.

“Daddy,” Jin hears from the side. He shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath before moving his head out of frame to see Haneul peeking in the room. “I want to stay with you..”

Jin mutes his mic before talking to Haneul.

“Daddy’s in the meeting, can you please go to your brother and sister and wait until I’m done?”

Haneul shakes his head no, walking towards Jin. “I want to stay with youu~” He says, trying to climb onto Jin’s lap yet again.

Jin sighs, pulling Haneul up and placing him on his lap.

“What do you think, Mr. Kim?”

Jin’s eyes widened, unmuting himself. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

The director laughs. “We’re thinking of doing one concept as school themed. Since the seven characters will be meeting at school in the drama. Would we be able to do that?”

“Yes, that sounds good. We have school props that we can use for the photoshoots, like desks and the blackboard. Yeonjun show them a picture that we have from a previous photoshoot where we did a school concept.”

“I don’t like that,” Haneul says, causing a few heads to look up. Jin looks down and shushes him.

“It’s not for you to like,” he says.

As the meeting went on, Haneul got bored and began picking at things on the table.

“Haneul please don’t touch anything,” Jin says, moving Haneul’s hand away from the table and holding onto them.

“What is it Mr. Kim?”

“Oh no sorry, I was talking to my son. Please,” Jin says, moving a hand to gesture to the camera. “Continue.”

After Jin lets go of Haneul’s hands, he immediately slams a hand on the keyboards, shutting it off.

“What did you do!” Jin yells. Trying to turn the laptop back on but it looks like it froze or something because it wasn’t turning on.

“I don’t want to be in the meeting,” Haneul says, watching Jin frantically trying to get his laptop to work. Jin sighs in annoyance, grabbing Haneul and putting him down next to him.

“Then why didn’t you stay with your siblings?” He says. “This is an important meeting Haneul, I was already supposed to be there in person and now I can’t even join--”

“I just want to play--”

“I’m speaking right now,” Jin says to him, turning to look him in the eye.

“Okay,” Haneul answers quietly.

“Is that right or not?”

“That’s right.”

“You did something wrong, do you agree?”

Haneul nods, his lip beginning to quiver and his eyes starting to water.

“Go stand in the corner, you’re in a time out,” Jin tells him, nodding to the corner of his office. Haneul burst into tears as he ran to the corner where his dad told him to go, holding his face in his hands.

“Stay there until I finish my meeting,” Jin tells him, returning back to his laptop. It still wasn’t turning on.

Jin runs his hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. He grabs his phone and texts Yeonjun.

“Haneul shut off my laptop and it’s not turning on. I’ll connect through my phone just give me a few minutes.”

expect the unexpected

♡ part nineteen: daddy said no ♡

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: the part where jin says “im speaking right now” to “you did something wrong do you agree?” and everything in between was a real convo between him and yoongi when he kept talking while jin was talking😭 i’ll reblog this later with a link lol

edit: actually here it is: 0:39-0:44

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @ygbubs @catspancake @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

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farfromtommy · 4 years

Note

seb being a stepdad to chris' kids or vice versa!

not my gif

a/n: okay this is literally one of the best ideas ever and im so in love with this fic. i think this takes the cake for my favorite fic i’ve written!! this is mildly edited so pls be kind. im so proud of it and hope you guys love it <3

please reblog if you enjoyed reading and and feel free to leave any comments!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex, brief mention of medical procedure(s), there might be some language i dont remember

word count: 4,400

masterlist

social media au masterlist

taglist

~~~

Chris has been your best friend since elementary school and all through middle and high school. Everyone knew how close you were to him and how deeply you loved each other. It was never in a romantic sort of way, though. Nobody really understood the relationship you had with him, they just shrugged their shoulders and minded their business.

When Chris told you he wanted to move to New York to follow his dream of being an actor, he asked you to go with him. You shared his love for theatre and the arts and always wanted to see if you could make it as a big-time Hollywood actress. You packed all your things into your tiny car and made your way to New York with your best friend.

You spent your 28th birthday sitting on Chris’s couch with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Your boyfriend of 3 years broke up with you on the grounds of you being “such a drag” and “not someone he wants to settle down with any more”. You had planned a life with him. He talked about marrying you and having kids with you just weeks prior. And he had just thrown it all away.

Having gone through almost half of the bottle of tequila already, Chris took the bottle from you and just looked at you with sad eyes. He ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face in your pillow and just cried. You pulled yourself together after a while and willed yourself to sit up and look Chris in the eyes.

“I know I’m kinda drunk right now but Chris, listen to me. Can we make a pact? When we’re both 30 and if we’re both still single and loveless. Let’s have a baby. We don’t have to like… y’know… do it or anything. We can do it through insemination or in a petri dish or however they do it. I’m just- I want to settle down and have kids but I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone else.” You rambled, gesturing wildly with your hands. Chris suppressed a laugh and looked at you like you were crazy. You just looked at him questioningly until he realized this was not the alcohol talking.

“Are you serious? Like, me and you? Having a baby? Seriously?” He pulled himself off the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I’m so serious. You can say no, Chris. This is me asking you what you think. I always said that if I don’t have a husband or have been with someone long enough to have a child with them, that I would go to a sperm bank and do it like that. You know how badly I want kids, and I know you want them too.” You moved to the edge of the couch to move closer to him. He stood up and grabbed your hand to help you up. He dragged you towards the kitchen and sat you down at the table, telling you to wait there while he grabbed something. He came back a few moments later with a notebook and a pen.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. We’re going to ask each other questions about this and write down the answers. Any conditions we have we’ll write down, if we can’t agree on them we don’t do it. I know you’re not super sober right now so we can do this now and talk about it again tomorrow.” He wrote ‘Y/L/N - Evans Baby’ along the top. You smiled a bit to yourself and waited for him to talk.

“I don’t want to be just the sperm donor, I want to be involved in everything. From the ultrasound appointments to picking preschools. I also want to be in the room when you’re in labor.” He wrote it down as he was talking and looked up at you. You nodded with a big smile on your face.

“I would want you as involved as possible. We would be co-parenting this hypothetical child. My turn. To keep this from getting messy, we should do it through a clinic. Me in stirrups and your swimmers in a turkey baster. Sex can make things complicated and weird, I don’t want to risk something going wrong between us and then there be a child involved. Insemination isn’t as effective but we can always keep trying if it doesn’t work.” You pulled the notebook towards you and wrote down your condition.

That went on for the rest of the night. You and Chris take turns asking questions about your hypothetical baby. You had filled up pages and pages of notes about what you both want, from how you would decide to tell your families to living arrangements to if you’d circumcise or not if it was a boy.

A little more than 2 years later you and Chris found yourselves at the dining room table of his Boston home again. The notebook you had filled just a few years back right in front of you, along with 5 pregnancy tests. They were face down on the table as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

“Alright, Chris. This is it. It’s been 5 minutes, we can flip them over.” You released a shaky breath and stared at the tests right in front of you. Chris grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together. You looked at each other before reaching out to flip over the individual tests. Seeing all 5 of the tests with 2 solid pink lines knocked all the air out of your lungs.

“Oh my god. They’re all positive! Oh my god, Chris!! We’re going to have a baby!” You both jumped out of your seats and jumped around the kitchen before hugging each other and crying. He kept thanking you and kissing the top of your head while you sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. There were lots of tears over the next few weeks from you both after confirming your pregnancy with your midwife.

8 or so months later Penelope Elizabeth Evans-Y/L/N made her way into the world and the arms of her parents. The world seemed to stop when you heard the cries of your daughter for the first time. You could’ve sworn Chris stopped breathing the second he laid eyes on her when she was placed on your bare chest. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other bodily fluids, he swore that she was the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

He took a lot of time off from filming and working to take care of you both. Once you found out you were pregnant, you stopped acting for the most part. You knew that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least until she was old enough to go to school, and maybe then you’d go back to smaller roles that kept you close to home.

Chris had a hard time leaving you and Penny once it was time to go back to work. He held her close to his chest and cried at the thought of leaving her when she’s still so little. Seeing the extreme separation anxiety he was already having, you offered to go with him to set and find an apartment or house to rent for the duration of the shoot. This ended up being the greatest thing you could have come up with. Every single project that took him away from Boston, you and Penny were right there next to him. You and Penny followed him to what seemed like every corner of the Earth.

The weeks leading up to shooting The Winter Soldier were the most exciting for Chris. He had been training for months to get into shape and was really excited to have you and Penny on set with him. He had also been talking nonstop about working with Sebastian and Anthony again.

One night Chris came home with Sebastian and Anthony trailing behind him. Penny had gone down for the night and you were nursing a glass of wine on the recliner, watching whatever you could find on TV.

“Hey, Y/N. I should've called ahead, I’m sorry. We’re just going to have some beers while we watch the game.” He walked in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved the blankets off your lap and stood up to greet Anthony and Sebastian.

“I don’t think you ever got a chance to meet these guys before. Y/N this is Anthony and Sebastian, guys this is Y/N.” Chris introduced you and you moved forward to give them both hugs.

“Sorry for barging in on you unannounced, we would’ve made sure this idiot called you before to make sure it was all good,” Anthony said, taking the beer Chris handed him.

“Oh please, don’t worry about it. He used to do it all the time when we lived in New York. Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. Didn’t get a chance to clean today, I’ve had my hands full, especially with this one” You gestured a thumb to Chris and he sent you a playful glare in return.

You offered to put together some snacks for the game, knowing very well Chris couldn’t handle his alcohol without some sort of food in his system. Anthony and Sebastian offered to help while Chris snuck off to go see Penny.

“How long have you and Chris been together?” Sebastian made some small talk while looking for serving bowls in your kitchen. Anthony leaned against the counter and continued to sip on his beer.

“Oh, we’re not together. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we actually are just uh...” You chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say to his friends. Chris walked into the kitchen with Penny in his arms at that moment. Her head tucked into his neck, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt and his arms under her butt.

“We’re raising our daughter together. They go with me wherever I go so I don’t miss anything and so Y/N doesn’t raise Penelope by herself. We’re co-parenting in the same house.” He said, looking at the tired toddler in his arms. Sebastian and Anthony both sputtered on their beers at the same time, not believing what they were seeing.

There was no denying that she was a product of you and Chris. Even with her sleepy eyes, they could see the bright blue color that matched the man carrying her. They saw the swoop of your nose and the color of your hair. They stood there just taking it all in.

“I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 28 after my long term boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. It was one of those ‘if we’re 30 and aren’t married’ sort of things. We turned 30 and were both still single, so we had a baby.” You shrugged, looking over at your girl.

“And it works, being parents without being together but still living together?” Anthony asked, gesturing towards the two of you.

“We had everything figured out before she got pregnant. We had conditions that we both had to agree on before we even got serious about it. We were both very adamant about not doing it the old fashioned way so things didn’t get messy. It took some time to figure out the… terms and conditions I guess.” Chris laughed a little bit. Anthony and Seb nodded in understanding and kept looking at Penny.

“I’m happy for you, man. Seems like you both are really happy. How old is she?” Anthony walked into her line of sight and waved his fingers a bit, trying to get her attention.

“She turned one a couple of months ago.” You said and watched Penny pick her head up and look at Seb and Anthony, inspecting them a bit. Her big blue eyes landed on Sebastian and she stared him down before he gave her a small smile and waved at her. She was a little shy around new people and would usually bury her face in the neck of whoever was holding her.

To your surprise, she leaned away from Chris and moved her hands out to Sebastian. Everyone’s eyes widened as she whined a little bit when he didn’t reach out to grab her. Chris moved closer and told him it was okay and let Penny make herself comfortable in his arms. She buried herself into his neck much like she does with you and Chris, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. Her eyes shut immediately and let herself fall asleep in his arms.

The next few months went on more pleasantly than expected. Chris often had late-night shoots and training, leaving you with Penny most of the day. Anytime he knew he would be home late, he’d send Seb over with dinner or just an extra set of hands to help you with Penny. She knew you were her mama and Chris was her dada, then one day she had her Seba. Anytime you opened the door to let him in with her on your hip, she immediately squealed and started to chant ‘Seba! Seba!’ and didn’t stop until he was holding her.

Sebastian had brought up the idea of taking you to dinner one night to Chris. Even though you were a single adult who could make decisions on your own, he didn’t want to disrespect Chris at all. Chris never saw you as anything more than his best friend, it had always been like that. He was ecstatic when Sebastian brought up the idea of asking you out.

“I’m so serious, Seb. I think it’s a great idea. She talks about you a lot and really loves being around you. She’s going to say yes, I promise. Y/N hasn’t dated since we had Penny, mostly because she’s scared of what someone would think about her living with her childhood best friend who happens to be the father of her child.” Chris told him honestly. You weren’t interested in dating at all since having Penny. Mostly because being a mom was your first and only priority.

Sebastian let out the breath he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair, all of a sudden nervous about asking you to dinner. Chris clapped a hand around his shoulder and gave him a quick pep talk before sending him on his way.

The 2 years between wrapping Winter Soldier and starting Civil War had been interesting, to say the least. Everything Chris did kept him in the states for the most part. You and Penny were still trailing along with him, always loving the things you got to experience as a family.

Sebastian had found his place right in your crazy life. You had been unofficially together after wrapping Winter Soldier. He went off to do his next project and you and Chris spent some time in Boston with your families. You texted him most of the day, and he called at night to talk for a few hours before you went to sleep. He always said goodnight to Penny and she blew her Seba kisses through the phone.

He flew to Boston a bunch of times to see you, even if it was only for a few hours. You flew to wherever he was for a few days at a time, most of the time with Penny. Chris somehow managed to get you on the plane by yourself a few times and promised he would FaceTime every single night and would have hourly pictures sent.

On one of your first weekend trips out to see him, he refused to let you leave without making it official with you. He had you in tears at the end of his ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my girlfriend’ speech. When he proposed to you he had said that the only thing better than the girlfriend speech was the one he was about to give. His ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my wife’ speech knocked that one out of the water.

Neither of you wanted to make a big fuss about a wedding. You weren’t interested in the big white dress and the stressful bridesmaids and the whole cliche wedding things. Sebastian suggested getting eloped somewhere quiet with a handful of the most important people in your life. Chris’s mom, Lisa, had offered to hold the ceremony in her backyard. Knowing very well how spacious and beautiful it was, you and Seb graciously accepted her offer.

You kept your dress simple yet elegant, a beautiful white lace dress that ended mid-thigh, and complimented your body so perfectly. Seb kept it classy with a dark blue suit and light blue button-up that brought out his eyes, no tie, because who needs one?

Right at the end of the ceremony right as the officiant was about to have you say ‘i do’, you heard whines coming from Penny, who was sitting right up front on her daddy’s lap. You looked over to see her squirming in his lap and whining out ‘mama’ and reaching out for you. Chris made eye contact with you and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’. You shook your head and let go of one of Sebastian’s hands to motion to let her go so she could walk over to you.

Everyone aww’d as she walked over to you as quickly as her legs could take her. You bent down and scooped her up, resting her on your hip and wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her up. Sebastian made faces at her to make her laugh and keep her happy for a few more minutes. Your photographer had taken advantage of the incredibly sweet moment and had made sure to get as many shots of Penny at the altar with you.

When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, you were going to set Penny down but Sebastian was quick to pull you both close to him and go in for your first kiss as a married couple with your daughter right there. Everyone cheered and Penny was mimicking the claps of everyone around her. Before he pulled away from you two he pressed two sloppy kisses on Penny’s cheeks as she giggled, which pulled some tears out of you.

No more than 15 people were attending the ceremony. You wanted to keep it quiet with just family and a few close friends. The reception, however, was anyone and everyone you could fit into the ballroom you had rented at one of the best hotels in Boston. All your guests had filled the room before you and Seb arrived. You nervously held his hand as you heard the cheers from everyone inside after hearing the DJ announce “Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends … let’s give it up for the couple of the hour, Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Stan!!”

No one understood how you, Chris, and Seb managed to make your situation seem so easy and flawless. He knew that living in Boston was a must, so he bought the house that sits right behind the one you shared with Chris for so many years. He never wanted to get in the way of the system you and Chris had created over the years. Somehow, he managed to make things easier for everyone.

Penny’s first day of school was emotional for all 3 of you. You were all at your front door taking pictures of Penny in her school uniform that she looks so ridiculously cute in and the backpack that was way too big for her. She insisted on getting the Avengers backpack that “has my daddy on it!”

“Okay my love, it’s time for us to go to school! Are you ready?” Chris grabbed her tiny hand and led her to the car.

“Yeah daddy, I’m ready!” Penny said as he lifted her into the car and her car seat.

“Daddy? Mama and Sebbie coming too?” She asked him when he clicked the last buckle together. Right on cue Sebastian opened up the door to the free seat in the back and climbed in right next to her. She squealed in excitement at the sight of Sebastian buckling himself in the car.

Chris laughed at her genuine excitement and made sure all her fingers and toes were inside the car before shutting the door. He saw you lock the front door and make your way to the front seat. He noticed you put a few packs of tissues in your bag before setting it on the ground and buckling your seatbelt.

“Planning on crying today, Y/N?” Chris asked in a teasing tone. You swatted his arm lightly and scoffed at his question.

“Our baby is going to her first day of school, of course, I’m going to cry! I cried last night after I tucked her in, I cried in the shower this morning, I cried doing her hair.” You heard Seb talking enthusiastically to Penny, telling her about all the fun things she’ll get to do in kindergarten.

“It’s okay, I cried in the bathroom while she ate her waffles this morning.” You snorted at Chris’s confession and looked back at your baby girl, who was not a baby anymore. She was waving her hands around telling Seb about how excited she was to see her teacher again.

Chris and Sebastian watched from the car as you walked through the front doors of the school with Penny’s hand in yours. They had agreed that it might not have been a good idea to go in with her since they might get recognized and to avoid causing a ruckus. They both waved at her as she turned around and waved one more time before the door shut.

“Did you and Y/N ever think about having more kids together? If I hadn’t started dating her, do you think you would've had more?” Sebastian asked Chris.

“We never explicitly talked about it. She brought up wanting Penny to have lots of siblings not long after you started seeing each other. She felt guilty and thought that I was going to be upset about you and her maybe having kids one day, which meant I probably wouldn’t have anymore. I told her that this was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened because I don’t think I want any more of my own. Penny is all I ever wished and hoped for, and I got it. But since you’re together, she’ll get all the siblings she could ever want, and I won’t have to change a single diaper.” Chris nudged Seb’s shoulder with his. “You guys thinking about having one?”

“Yeah... Yeah, we are.” Sebastian lowered his head and smiled a bit. “With Penny in school and everything, it makes sense. She’s ready, I’m ready.” Seb sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and saw you walking back towards them with a tissue in your hand.

“I had the morning crying shift, it’s your turn.” Seb looked at Chris.

Just as Penny wrapped up her very first year in school, you and Sebastian welcomed Beverly Olivia Stan-Y/L/N into your family. Penelope had been so excited to hear that her mama finally had the baby she had been waiting so long for. You had gone into labor in the late afternoon and Beverly made her debut in the middle of the night.

Sebastian had called Chris an hour or so after to let him know that both you and the baby were doing phenomenally and that you were asking for Penny and wanted to see her as soon as you could. Chris chuckled at the demands you were making, knowing very well how the epidural and pain meds messed with you.

Early the next morning Penny had crawled into bed with Chris, crying for you and wanting to know when she was going to see you. It was still too early for them to go to the hospital, so he called Seb in hopes that he was already going to be awake.

A very exhausted Sebastian lit up the screen and Chris heard the soft cries of the new baby in the background. Penny’s cries turned into hiccups as soon as she saw Seb’s face because she knew she would be able to see her mama, too.

“Sebbie can I see mama, please?” Penny’s little voice spoke up. Sebastian immediately handed the phone to you and whispered that Penny was on the phone.

“Hi, baby.” You spoke softly to not disturb the baby.

“Mama when you come home? I miss you.” Penny wiped her eyes with her fists to get rid of the tears stuck in her eyelashes.

“It’s going to be a few days until I get to go home, baby. But you and daddy will be able to come to see me, Sebbie, and the new baby in a few hours. You need to go back to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy. I’m sure he’ll let you have some cuddles in his bed with him and Dodger until it’s time to wake up again.” Penny hiccuped and looked at Chris with eyes that mirrored his. He nodded his head and she buried herself closer to him.

“Okay, I go back to sleep with daddy and Dodger. I love you, mama. I love Sebbie, too.” She yawned out, her eyes blinking with sleep.

“Me and Sebbie love you so much, Penny. We’ll see you so soon, I promise” You blew a kiss to her through the screen and waited for her to throw one back. She giggled when you caught it through the camera and put it over your heart.

You, Sebastian, and Chris all watched with tears in your eyes as Penny held her baby sister for the first time. Penny had jumped right up in the bed next to you the second she walked into the room and told you about all the fun she had with Chris. Seeing your girls together melted your heart into a puddle. Chris couldn’t believe his little girl was so grown up and was a big sister. Seb thought about the night he first met you and Penny and would’ve never imagined that he’d be right here at this very moment.

Everything was so perfect and you never wanted to imagine your life being any different.

848 notes · View notes

uglifish · 3 years

Text

How do you write long multi-chapter fics without losing steam or motivation?

Hey guys!

Been a while since I made a post answering all the FAQ’s in my inbox, and this is the one I get the most, so here goes my answer/advice:

▽ structure and continuity

(and i still struggle with this lmao its an uphill climb)

1) outline or map out your story path. if it drags and you find yourself getting BORED with your writing or where the story is going, its time to stop, step back, and evaluate.

completely write out the storyline in short-hand nonsense as fast as possible, because its for you only, so go back to fill in the details later. if you want to see what MY outlines look like...... -embarassmentttttt-

Here’s a screencap from underwater chrysalis.

if you’ve read that story, you can probably recognize this scene was an entire chapter, but it was 5 nonsense sentences in my outline.

2) if you can sit down for X hours and write out the outline from start to end (yes, end of the story) then you have a solid skeleton to polish up :D

3) don’t worry about chapter splitting just yet. get it all out first

▽ Marathon time

1) set aside time for yourself to write it out. Find time for it at least once a week or once a day if you can manage that! DON’T leave it sitting for 2+ weeks--unless that’s your creative process--and if it is, and you recognize you get stuck here, leaving the fic alone for more than 2 weeks = abandoning the fic?? then proceed to this step→

go back to it and read it over and over, right up until the point where you stopped, ask yourself questions about where the characters are going (refer to your outline)/ why the characters are doing X scene ...etc (is there tension? is this part boring? why have you stopped writing? tired? take a nap:)

2) know when to ignore (writing) advice. and i wish someone had told me this when i first started marathon fic-writing. advice is great but its not a cure-all and maybe you’re exhausted from trying everyone’s suggestions. literally you do you, but keep an open mind to learn along the way.

3) if you run into a problem, like wanting to change an ENTIRE scene that will affect the ending of your story, stop writing and go back to your outline. you’re wasting your own time this way. write to get to an ending.

4) know that there are formulas to long, captivating stories. its like a curve that goes up and down. (find a formula that works for you!) for me, it’s: scene start tension scene escalating tension resolve tension but then another conflict + 2 conflict + 1 romance = long 3 chapter scene :D scene resolving 1 conflict, romance + 3 yay! scene adding to conflicts and romance above tension resolution? another tension or romance resolve? which slowly helps taper to an end (which i still struggle with)

5) have fun! you’re exploring this character, this universe, don’t get too stuck up your own ass about stuff and let things go. if you finished a scene and re-read it, hate it, don’t give yourself crap about it. if you’re happy with it one day and unhappy with it another day, figure out why or just let it go. Your goal is to write as much as possible to finish your story to the outline you wrote. if you get hung up on the stuff in the middle, you’ll never reach the finish line.

▽ I’ve finished my multi-chapter my pile of crap. Now what?

1) don’t look at it, don’t even think about it. congratulate yourself and go to the beach :D get yourself a coffee and socially-distance-hang-out with your friends

2) 1 - 3 weeks later, re-read it ALL with fresh eyes. don’t tell your friends about it, don’t link it anywhere for feedback. it’s still ALL YOU right now.

3) re-read it round 1: edit it grammatically and for bulk. if you still hate that random interaction you added in, delete it entirely and set it aside. fix all grammar issues and add to more descriptions if some are lacking.

4) re-read it round 2: a week later with your own fresh eyes, make sure everything flows. did you say character X had a green shirt in ch 3 but in ch 4 they were wearing a blue shirt? fix that :O might be a genuine mistake, either you forgot or got up to leave your fic for 4 days and (forgot)

5) re-read again round 3: a week after that, read it again and find it for more errors, add more flow if some scenes have a choppy transition, and start to split it into chapters. Find natural breaks in your writing (or cliff hangers!) and cut them there. 6) recruit a friend! Ask someone you’re ok with baring your soul to and make them read your slightly less steaming pile of crap, which is now a polished turd. hopefully your friend will tell you it IS a polished turd and is OK for posting, or that you still mentioned green shirt character is wearing a blue shirt (again) in ch 56 and you missed it :P

7) post and run, or save it to re-read again 6 months later

i’ve been doing the post and run thing for a while if im medium-proud of my shiny turd, or if im really insecure about it, i’ll sit on it for even a YEAR before i even breathe about it. its not that i hate it, its that i feel it could be better and if i’m continuously writing during that time, I can go back to look at it with fresh(er) eyes.

▽ things to think about / stuff to ask yourself while writing:

- why am i tired (of this, of it?) know yourself and know your limits. if you’re tired (physically, of writing) learn to differentiate that from being mentally tired.

- who are you writing for? a friend’s bday gift fic? submission into Fanfic Award-Winning Novel Writers Club? A novel manuscript to Random House? Nanowrimo? your fandom rare-pair discord server? ....yourself?? and then figure out your motivations for the tone of your writing :D

- i suck at writing X (a violent action scene, smut, small-talk in elevator scene), so i’ll just skip it... no. if you think your story needs it, make your best attempt at writing it and then go back to edit it. you’ll be happy you pushed yourself to write it.

- i’ve never done X (been to a hotspring in Japan, gone hiking in extreme weather, gone on a blind date) how would i know what it feels like? Try your best to envision it or use the wonders of the internet to learn about it. Research is your best friend to express realism in your writing :D

aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all i got for now :O

*btw you know what works for you as a creative mind, this is all stuff that works for me and I hope you found it helpful!

thank you for reading this super long post, and feel free to PM me if you need a “get me unstuck” buddy in your writing process :D

xooxxo Ugli

#askugli #fanfiction writing #writing in general #its super technical in some parts #writing is hard #help #writing anxiety #prideshipping fanfiction

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ushiwakaout · 3 years

Text

parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader

warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU

a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!

Kozume Kenma

Match made in heaven

Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company

You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime

you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.

If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk

Always knock before you go into his little studio room

You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack

but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you

fake breakup video like the next day for trolling

Okaya anywho

if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?”

you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.

“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers)

you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies.

everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works

SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words”

you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos

you both stay up really late together

if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit

somehow kenma is the more productive one

you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma

you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma

just to make extra cash you have and OF

most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk

a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex

theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming

“Kenma can you help me for a second.”

“Hmm, what is it kitten?”

He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe

Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on

He just smiles and spreads his legs for you

(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)

He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth.

His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest

“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand

He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck.

“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”

(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)

sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again

he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted

he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.

Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.

you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft

mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh

Oikawa Tooru

Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely

Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you

you hate how early he freaking wakes up

hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning

there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud

if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own

doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat

when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.”

cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning

he’s so sweet

he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)

He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago.

sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.

its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey” *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning

after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets

he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice

You wear his stuff when he leaves

low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina

other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.

Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming

You’re popular on the female side of gamers

sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum

Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo

You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home

you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.

hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend

if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game

You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home

although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses

hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach

you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore

baths w oikawa are frequent

muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being pampered with your love for him

you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done

a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.

there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.

sleeping in different rooms

(LIL ANGST AHEAD)

Tooru can hear you cry from the other room

he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him

you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.

your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough

will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him

you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water

but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.

you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.

he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss

will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high

will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy

you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot

will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out

this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.

his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.

you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue

fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much

tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over

aftercare is even better

he doesn’t make you do anything

he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms

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whatgaviiformes · 3 years

Text

The Personal Trash

Okay, I needed the catharsis of writing this out, but I am throwing it under a read more because I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this. Family shit below

I feel like before I start I have to say first I love my husband very much and am continually excited by the life we are and have been building together, and the only goddamn constant in these circumstances is that he is my best friend always.

The second part of this before I jump in is that his mother, my mother-in-law lives with us, and there are parts of this story I can’t tell because it’s her story and I am not that kind of person. One of the things I love about him is his loyalty to family. I am the same way. Living with elders does not make me bat an eyelid - they’ve taken care of us, it feels comforting that we can take care of them.

But I need to share the context of our home - it’s a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse with the three of us, three dogs, with almost every space shared. One kitchen, one living room. It’s a small place. My husband purchased the house in September 2014, and it was around when we started dating. One of our first outings was his housewarming. It was, and still is, a starter home.

So since he’s had the home, I’ve been around - starting with a weekends, back and forth, and finally a moved in in 2017, married in 2019, and now we are here. Four years later.

We’ve talked upsizing, getting an in law place if we can. But the housing market is a sellers market at the moment, and things have been good. For four years.

For four years, the family unit has been the three of us. We’ve all contributed in different ways, and in that time, MIL has retired, husband has switched jobs a few times, and mine has been constant. And I *adore* my job. But it keeps me incredibly busy, overwhelmed often. Work-life balance is a bit of a joke for sure. Like anywhere there are days that I’ve gotten off work and cried. Or, checked out mentally that I couldn’t engage in other things. It’s can be intense, but its rewarding. And there was a period through the past few years where I was the source of income keeping our heads above water. And we were - we were fine. But it put a lot of stress on me.

In the meantime there have been some health issues - which I will gloss over. Not my story. But MIL has had few different things, on top of us worrying about COVID. We’ve taken her to some different appointments and such.

We had one such scare two weekends ago, and it kind was a catalyst to a bunch of other stuff that I’ve been dealing with behind the scenes lately. So on Sunday, husband and I went to the grocery store (she was supposed to go on a trip for four days or so) so we were going to use the opportunity to cook a few things together, and we needed to replenish. We were about to grab lunch, and called to see if she wanted anything, and she told him then she wanted to be taken to the hospital. She told us a few days earlier she was having some problems, but only mentioned to my husband that she was worried this might happen. But to me this forewarning was not mentioned, and I was only told because he advised her that she needed to be upfront of what was going on. (For the record, she still was vague).

This ^ will be a theme.

So we skipped lunch, came back home, I unloaded the food and started putting stuff away because he and I agreed that’s what we do and I told him to keep me updated, and she left without saying anything to me or vice versa. Husband comes home because COVID means you can’t stay with anyone. Also no beds, so it took awhile (F*CKING GET VACCINATED PEOPLE SO PEOPLE WHO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT AREN’T LAID UP FOR YOUR STUPIDITY -alsoyesiknowthereareotherreasonspeopleareinthehospitalforcovidjustgivemethisimfrustrated)

11:30 PM that night we picked her back up. It was late, I was tired. A few days later she tells us that she had a lot of time to think while at the hospital, and tells us she is going to move out.

First - you know what we did while she was in the hospital? We freaking worried. Okay - so all of that is facts, details, and I’ve gotten you caught up to the this-happened-then-this-happened. The rest of this is feelings so buckle the fuck up

Husband - immediately lashes out because he doesn’t like the reasons (still doesn’t) and I find out that there was a conversation the day before between the two of them I wasn’t a part of - and he felt because she was not being honest with me, he was forced to have to lie to me, his wife, and didn’t like that feeling.

Me - feeling confused, a little like this is out of left field, and only not completely surprised because this has happened before with husband telling me, and then it never happening, we misunderstanding. and more times than not it never made it from her mouth to my ears. Also it was never for *this* reason. See how this escalates more below.

Husband- “I had to learn to live with strangers, and you just can’t stand not being in control” Me - so wait I am a stranger now?

Husband - do you even like my wife...

and so on. So apparently everything I thought I knew about our home changed in the course of this conversation. What I was able to get out of the cacophony of chaos is that I am insensitive because I don’t interact with her the way she expects me to? And she feels like she’s intruding all the time, despite us assuring her she’s not, inviting her to game nights, and in general sharing in the things that you do as a family like vacations and dinners. And the more we argued, the more little things came out and little clues. She’s mentioned leaving before, almost on a 6 month cycle, and the last time was this one -

So like... when we got Della, and three days in she was like “If they don’t get along I’m going to take Dino and my own place” and so like... hold up, you can’t just throw away a comment like that. They’ve barely gotten a chance to know each other. (they are fine by the way. Della is a puppy and gets in his face a bit, but she’s still learning. They play, sleep together fine, and we are constantly taking care of the fur kids).

And from what I get from the comments to leave - because shit there’s still so many pieces to this I feel like I am missing -she will rationalize other reasons like the dog example above.

So when this happens it sends my husband in a spiral, he tells me because she won’t say anything, and the one time we did try to have a conversation about it, she shut down and made it sounds like he misunderstood and made him out to be the asshole. Then in the same breath tell him its not his job to fix everything as a stab at me, but like continue to talk only to him when it involves everyone.

I don’t know if that makes sense. A lot happens without me involved.

So then - those clues - the hints that all of this is really about me:

health - i stopped asking because she stopped telling me things, so how am I supposed to know what she can and can’t do. but im at fault for like... not asking. but she’s not telling.

home - apparently my understanding and my husbands understanding about the stuff she does around the house - some cleaning, groceries (we pay for) and loading dishwasher, cooking sometimes,. We thought she liked doing them to help around the house, and she’s never told us differently. EDIT- no, she’s told us she likes to help. Cue - you can stop right there, I am an adult and I never asked you to clean up after me.

I feel like whatever feelings she has for me started a long time ago, and she continued to let them harbor instead of talking to me about it, until it got to the point where it couldn’t really be solved.

I mean, I am not lacking the self-awareness to recognize that, yeah, I can be messy, and yeah, I can be single minded. There are days where my husband is talking me and I just space answering him because I can’t or or I just mentally lose it in processing.

I am seeing this mirror reflected back at me of like - I have all these expectations for you, and you are a problem and, but like.... it kind of goes both ways? And I feel like you’ve made these circumstances yourself? And if you want to leave that’s fine, but its not from our doing?

And so in the end *I* feel like I am the one under scrutiny for everything I do or say and how I interact in my home. And it feels like selfishness, and self-victimizing behavior that I’ve seen time and time again, and I don’t really see a way out.

So husband just wants to keep the family together, he’s taking this to heart - its his mom, and there are feelings there about how they’ve provided for each other. He would feel differently if they got the house and she moved in with him under the notion that she was going to save, get her own place. But it wasn’t, and so he has this weight on his shoulders for it, for failing in some way.

And I - well. I didn’t really realize the family unit we had wasn’t working... at least to that extent and that it stemmed from me and I’m really hurt by it. Aside from the stuff above, I am really easy going - I try to give everyone space, and make everyone happy. I shut down if I am processing something. I’ve never intentionally tried to make her feel unwelcome. I’ve invited her to my family vacations, we’ve all equally enjoyed dinner’s out.

And though I’d be willing to try to do better, i am absolutely livid that this conversation waited until it was at its worst. So now I don’t really want to try to do better because I am mad and hurt, and don’t feel like my sacrifices or contributions are being acknowledged, nor do I think she will do the same thing to be self-reflective and recognize her own part of all this. And above all things, I truly hate to be misunderstood. And I will completely shut down under that kind of self-victimizing behavior and thoughtlessness to other people. I don’t want to lose myself over this, in my own home.

So neither path is really an easy or right solution. She moves out, husband loses a bit of respect in her and the relationship they have.. She stays, recognizing your own part in lack of communication is a long term thing, and I have to feel this awkward limbo for that whole process.. if it even gets there.

I feel like I am walking on eggshells constantly.

I should never have to question if a “Hello” will be taken the right way and that’s how i fucking feel.

#personal trash #cursing

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crescentsteel · 3 years

Text

Just Friends - Part 7

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo , model fem reader warnings: sexual tension, slow burn word count: 7.2k

A.N:

- Finally!! I'm so glad to finally release this. October was so hectic and I'm a very slow writer. - I'm so sorry for the mistakes on the previous chapters. No one beta reads for me. So I went back and edited Chapters 3-6. - So sorry for the word vomit on this chapter. I was out of control. - Thank you for all the nice comments!! I swear. They keep me fired up and inspired. - As always, lmk if you want to be tagged in any of my works,

Part 6 | Part 8 | m.list

“No! It’s not what you think!”

Kuroo almost laughs at how cliche you sounded, a typical response of someone who’s been caught red-handed. You’re about to chase Kenma, but he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Maybe you should wear your shirt before you go after ‘im.” He tries to hide the mirth in his expression and tone. Your face is so red, you look like you’re about to burst. He also doesn’t want to add up more to the awkwardness you might feel later, so he’s gonna let this one slide. He’ll just pretend that the massage thing was as harmless as it should be.

You put your shirt in a jumble and walk briskly to Kenma. He follows at his normal pace, settling behind you when he catches up to you and Kenma.

“Sorry about that,” you laugh nervously. “He was just giving me a back massage.”

It was kinda the truth, but Kenma looks dubious.

“It sounded more than a massage.”

He covers his lips with his back hand so he wouldn’t laugh. Although his rascal self wants to tease you more, he can’t let you feel any more embarrassed than this. He looks at Kenma and shakes his head minutely with a knowing look, hinting not to push the subject any further.

“Naah. Y/n here is just really stressed so she moans like she’s being fucked.” Okay, maybe he couldn’t completely let it slide after all.

You irritatedly look at him and punch his arm with more force than usual. “Piss off,” you hiss.

He dramatically rubs the arm you just hit. “Ow! So violent.”

Kenma ignores the antics and just passes by you two. He’s about to plop himself on the couch, but pauses. He instead gets a chair and seats himself there.

You couldn’t overlook that. Obviously, in Kenma’s mind, you and Kuroo were doing something indecent there so he doesn’t want to be in it. You want to clear it up to Kenma that you really weren’t doing anything of that sort. Well, you were about to pounce on Kuroo, but still, it didn’t actually happen.

In a way, you’re relieved that Kenma interrupted at the right time. You might have done something you will harrowingly regret afterwards.

“Don’t sweat it, y.n. He just misinterpreted it.” Kuroo’s unusually magnanimous today. It’s strange. He wouldn’t have lived this down on a regular day. Maybe it's because of your no sex relationship? Still, this is aberrant of him. He shouldn’t fail to notice how that last moan of yours was not of comfort.

“Right?” He adds, his eyes gauging your own.

So that’s how it is. He is aware. But he’s giving you the option to disregard what just almost happened. You’re relieved, but also confused at the tiny shards of disappointment prickling in your chest. This is what you wanted, for you to avoid sex and Kuroo in the same room. It shouldn’t be confusing.

You look down and break away from the eye contact. You put a hand on your hip and the other on your temple, which then moves to brush your hair back.

With a long, audible puff, you speak.

“Of course, it was nothing,” you return to his gaze with a dry expression to camouflage the lie behind your words. But at the same time, you also wait for him to say something or for his eyes to show something other than indifference. You don’t know what it is you want or expect, but you wait for it. You’ll know it when you see it.

It doesn’t come though as he shrugs it off like it was nothing.

Disappointed, that’s what you are. You don’t like the feeling, but you are.

—

You ring your driver again, hoping that this time he’ll finally answer. If he doesn’t get to you any soon, you’ll be late for your shoot. You can’t be late for this shoot in particular. Mitsuki’s the creative director. She’s a very pleasant one, but she absolutely hates tardiness. No exceptions. She gets all sour and crank when someone’s late.

The other end of the line picks up. “Ms l/n. I’m so sorry. One of the tires got flat. I need to change it, but I’m still stuck in traffic.”

Of all the days to get a flat tire on a heavy traffic, it had to be this day. You exhale heavily to clear the irritation getting under your skin.

“How long before you’re here?”

“I think about an hour, Ms.”

You aren’t the type to get mad at hired help, but you’re really in a pinch. In an hour, you should be in hair and make up already, not arriving only then. Mitsuki gets enraged when someone’s 15 minutes late. To be late an hour, you can’t imagine how she’d be. There’s no way you’re going to wait here for an hour.

“Don’t come anymore. Just get it fixed.” You say coldly before you end the call. It wasn’t the driver’s fault. You wouldn’t bother getting a driver if your car hadn’t been acting up recently. Being dumb this morning, you forgot about your busted car and was late in this morning’s meeting with a client. You found yourself brisk walking in heels at the hotel’s lobby earlier just to save yourself from any more delayed minutes. And now, even your driver’s car is jacked up.

“Y.n?”

You turn around at the recognizable calm voice you heard. It’s Kenma, except he wasn’t alone. Kuroo is right there beside him. It was kind of weird to see them together at this place and both in business wear.

“What’re you two doing here?”

“I’m working with Kenma here to sponsor our next promotional video.”

You just stared at the two of them. You’re used to the three of you just fooling around when you’re together. Meeting like this when you’re all in the middle of doing your jobs is something new to you.

“And who might you be giving a hard time on the phone, hmm y.n.?”

They heard that? They must both be near while you were getting bummed out from being late this morning and potentially late this afternoon.

“Ah! I need to go. My driver can’t make it. I’m going to be late,” you spiral back to your hectic schedule. “Bye.” You give them a quick wave, and despite your heels, you walk as fast as you could towards the entrance of the hotel.

You try to hail cabs that were passing by, but almost every cab was occupied. And for some reason, someone always managed to get the empty cabs before you can even spot them. To worsen your luck, it began to rain. You frantically tap your left foot on the concrete as the panic sets in you.

Mitsuki’s gonna kill me.

You bite your lip and contemplate how you’re going to arrive in the venue on time. The answer you found made you turn back on your heels to go back inside the hotel, only to find them already there behind you.

“You’re here,” you exhale, relieved that they haven’t gone anywhere out of your sight. “I’m in a bind. Can anyone give me a ride?”

The two men exchanged pithy looks, but you don’t bother figuring out what that could’ve meant. You just need the help you typically won’t ask for since you’re always doing things on your own.

“I can’t. I have a stream coming up. Sorry, y.n.” Kenma first spoke. You shift to Kuroo, hoping that he can give you the time of day. “Yea, sure. Am free for the rest of the day actually.” He says with a brief smile.

“Oh, thank God!” The panic and nerves were clearing out of your system. Despite the awkwardness of your previous massage fiasco, right now, you’re glad that he can help.

“Bye, then.” Kenma quickly took his leave as the hotel valet stepped out from his car and handed him his keys.

“Should we go now?” Kuroo asked. “Aren’t we waiting for your car?” “No. I don’t want strangers handling my car.” “Then why did you go here?”

Amusement shows on his face at your question. “I saw your cute attempt to hail a cab. Is that how rich kids do it? Let someone else steal their ride for them?” You smile sweetly, disgustingly sweet, then roll your eyes before saying, “Let’s just go.”

You told him the location of the shoot. The drive was comfortable as you both share work conversations with your usual banters on the side. Being friends with Kuroo is confusing and reassuring at the same time. With the history you two shared, you need to tread the waters of your friendship carefully every once in a while. If it wasn’t the sexual tension, it was the affection you felt towards him that would sometimes seem like resurfacing. Even with all that, you can’t bear to walk away from what you presently have. You feel like you really found genuine company with him and Kenma.

“We’re here. Let me just get an umbrella.” He looks back to the back seat and stretches his right arm to reach for it. The current angle of his face emphasized his sharp jaw and the length of his neck. You were just thinking how you need to tread carefully, but easier said than done when you know exactly how your fingers have grazed that jaw, how your tongue has tasted that neck, and much more.

“What’s taking you so long? I might as well get drenched from the rain,” you snap because you can’t stand your own indecent thoughts.

“Found it.” He says and returns to his normal sitting position. “Why the hell are you suddenly cranky? Geez.” You feel bad for being suddenly grouchy. He was just being nice and you were being nasty for reasons you can’t tell him. “Sorry. Just don’t want to be late,” you apologized.

He shrugs it off nonchalantly. “Hey. Where’s my umbrella?” You ask when you see him reaching for the door with only one umbrella in his hand.

“We’re sharing this. I only have one.”

You purse your lips to the side and sharply avert your eyes elsewhere, your irritation resurfacing again. You feel uncomfortable with the idea of being that physically close to him. You’ve pushed the massage incident behind, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about it.

“What is up with you? What are you so pissed about?”

“Nothing. Can we go now?”

He stares at you for a good 3 seconds before getting out and opening his umbrella. He moves to your side of the vehicle and opens the door. You get out and try to avoid any raindrops. He closes the door and presses his car keys to lock the vehicle.

You both start to walk towards the entrance of the place. You’ve never felt more awkward in your life. You’re avoiding getting past the edge of the umbrella while also avoiding Kuroo’s body.

“Why is your umbrella so small?”

“The heck are you talkin about? This is the standard size.”

You don’t answer him. The umbrella isn’t small. He’s just huge and his whole body occupied almost all the space under the shade. You flinch when he suddenly grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you close, so close that you can feel the firmness of his body pressed onto yours.

You raise your gaze to him with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re gonna get wet if we don’t huddle closer.” You could accept his reason, if only you didn’t catch the miniscule curl of his lips and the skittish glint in his eyes. It was so typical of him really. Maybe you should stop being so worked up all the time.

“Fine.” Even though he was messing you, you can’t deny that it’s much more comfortable. You’re safe from the rain and his body provided heat from the coldness of the downpour.

He doesn’t do or say anything more as you both get to the doorway of the bar where the shoot will be held. He puts down the umbrella when you reach the shade of the building. Before you’re able to get away from Kuroo’s hold, the door opens. Mitsuki was holding her phone to her ear when she met your eyes.

“I was calling you and you weren’t — oh.” Her eyes flew to the hand on your shoulder and traveled to its owner. “Well, well, y/n. You leave for a good while, then come back loaded.” You can always count on Mitsku to not hold her tongue. You gently release yourself from Kuroo’s hold to avoid looking defensive. “It’s not like that,” was your thrift reply.

“Kuroo, this is Mitsuki, my creative director for today, sometimes my friend too. Mitsuki, this is Kuroo.”

Both of them exchange casual greetings for meeting the first time.

“How come you mention our relationship, but not yours?” referring to you and Kuroo. You sigh. “He’s also a friend.” You turn to Kuroo and thank him for the ride and his time.

“Is your driver picking you up?” he asked.

You seal your eyes shut at your own stupidity. Because you were panicking and irritated, you sent your driver home. You open them again and purse your lips in a straight line. “No. I’ll just take a cab.”

“With your cab-hailing skills in this rain? Good luck with that.” he snorts. “Haha. Real funny.” From the corner of your eyes, you see Mitsuki with an entertained grin on her face, obviously enjoying the exchange between you and Kuroo.

“Call me when you’re done. I’ll come pick you up then.” You want to protest but it will just drag on. You don’t want Mitsuki seeing more of the dynamics of your relationship, so you thriftly say “Okay.”

“Kuroo-san, right?” Both of you shift your attention to Mitsuki. “Actually, we need a male model because the scheduled one today is a total wimp and cancelled last minute.” She shamelessly eyed Kuroo from head to toe. So that’s why she was about to call you. The shoot was cancelled.

When she looks at you, you mouth the word “no” to let her know that she shouldn’t do what you think she’s about to do. The reaction you got was her smiling widening before speaking to Kuroo. “Do you have an agent? Can we talk over the phone right now to discuss?”

That’s when you step forward. “Uhhh. He’s not a model. He used to be a volleyball player, hence the height and build.” You say defensively. You nudge Kuroo with your elbow so that he’ll back you up, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s just there waiting for Mitsuki’s next words.

“An athlete, I see.” She nods approvingly. “That’s perfect! I don’t have to talk to anyone. It’s completely up to you then.”

“Errr. I don’t really know anything about modeling. Sorry.”

Your relief was short-lived when she tugs you to her direction and grips both of your shoulders. “Then your friend here can guide you. She’ll be your co-model anyways.”

He probably figured out by now why you were so apprehensive during the conversation just now. You don’t want him as your co-model.

His grin just confirmed your thoughts. “I’ll go for it then.” His eyes sparkling with mischief made you surrender. You already admit defeat in your head even though the shoot is just about to start.

You both get in hair and makeup. Being a woman, you take longer to finish. The clothes the stylists are arranging on you are taking while as well. They let you wear a very long, elegant gold dress that fits your upper body like your second skin, but the material is flowy from your waist down. When you arrive at the set, he’s already there talking with Mitsuki while waiting for you. Mitsuki notices you first. “Alright! We’re good to go.”

When Kuroo faces you, you almost don’t recognize him. His usual emo bangs were gone. They brushed his hair up cleanly. The suit he was wearing earlier was replaced by gray slacks and white long sleeve polo that has two top buttons open. You have conflicted feelings towards the hair and make up staff that did the work. They did a remarkable job with his overall style. He does look like a model like this. But also, why the hell did they make him look this damn good? The regular Kuroo was bad enough for you.

“This feels weird. I feel like I have too many things on me.” You scowl at his remark. “Too many? Wanna try being a girl?” He’s about to retort but Mitsuki claps twice which calls both of your attention.

“So our client is a liquor brand and the theme is something like wild love at the bar. What I want is you two giving the impression of having a passionate first encounter while you’re out drinking. Give me something and we’ll work it out as we go on, mkay?”

You knew you’d be working with a male model for this brand, but you didn’t expect that they’d go with something like this. You thought it was just going to be glamour shots to showcase the drink.

But what Mitsuki said, ‘Wild love at the bar’?? That is not something you’d want to be doing with him. It reminded you of the first night you met.

“I’m all ears on what to do, y/n” His haughty smile doesn’t help the situation one bit. You take a deep breath. This is not the time to muck around. You’re the experienced one, so you’ll be taking the lead. “Swear to me that you’ll take this seriously.” You glare at him, no trails of humor apparent. The change in his demeanor surprised you. You forgot how intimidating he can get when he’s serious. You’re so used to him being an idiot all the time that it catches you off guard. But for today, you’re glad to have it.

You explain to him how the whole shoot will go. For the first shot, you ask a staff member for a chair and tell Kuroo to sit on it. “Get the glass with the liquor and look at the camera while holding it.” He did as you told, except he has this perplexed look on his face with a noticeable discomfort from the way his lips curled in a corner.

“On second thought, maybe this is a bad idea,” he said after trying the first time. You want to agree with him, but the shoot is already happening. You just want to get over it already since you’re already there. “Nooo. Uh-uh.” Mitsuki’s tone took a sharp turn. She wasn’t happy with what Kuroo said. “Just imagine you’re in a bar, chilling with your favorite drink and you just snagged the hottest girl in the place.”

“Hottest girl aka me,” you comment on her instruction. That seemed to work because he changed back to his normal self and looked at you with amusement. “Just like the night we met, huh?” He said it low enough for only you to hear, but you still glanced nervously to Mitsuki if she caught any of it.

“That’s a nice expression, Kuroo! Keep looking at her like that.” You ease up since it looks like she didn’t hear it. You put your elbow on his shoulder and tilt your hips to give your waist an S curve while angling your body towards him at the same time. You lift your chin up a bit and look at the camera with parted lips.

“Yep. Looking good dear.” Mitsuki signals the photographer to start taking the shots. You both slightly alter your angles so the pose will have variations. Sometimes you look at Kuroo, smile flirtatiously at him, or look at the camera in a sultry way. Every time you two would look at each other, you’d ‘cheat’ and look at the bridge of his nose to give the illusion that you’re actually looking at his eye.

While looking at the shots from a separate screen, she suddenly asks the photographer to stop. You both straighten your bodies while awaiting instructions. “It looks nice,” she said before looking at your direction. “But it’s boring. There’s nothing wild about it.” You space out for a bit because for the first time, you don’t know how to proceed. You’re used to fashion shoots and runway. You’ve never had an ad with this theme. “Y.n, dear, can you be a bit aggressive towards him?”

You raise your eyebrow from disbelief. “A-aggressive?”

Mitsuki nods. “Throw yourself at him, dominate him, take control. mkay?” You feel a bit pressured when she’s just looking at you two and waiting for you to start posing for the camera. You don’t have a solid idea in your head, but you just go for it. You try to prop yourself up on the bar counter, but your dress won’t allow you.

Kuroo notices your dilemma and gets up from his seat. “You could’ve asked for help, you know.” He positions himself in front of you and grabs your waist. His hands were strong yet gentle. With your palms still on the surface of the counter, he lifts you up while you put weight on your arms so you can usher yourself properly. You’ve been deliberately avoiding his gaze, but right now, your eyes are glued to his face.

“Yes. Like that.” You both flick your gaze towards Mitsuki. “Do that.” She instructs the photographer to move the side so the angle of the shot captures you both without him blocking you completely. You realize the position you two have. “I agreed to this to make you uncomfortable, but I’m not gonna lie. I’m the one extremely uncomfortable right now.” Kuroo whispers with a hint of regret on his face. The camera flashes start going off but something clicked between the two of you that you two end up laughing. It’s probably the awkwardness and the nerves that’s been hanging on the air that something so shallow as Kuroo admitting his uneasiness, cracked you both up.

It was just a brief exchange of laughter but you feel relaxed. Even though Mistuki is pretty cool for a creative director, she’s still as serious as any professional. So when you see her smiling as you apologized for the delay, you’re a bit shocked.

“No worries dear. Let’s continue then.”

You feel more confident now. You’re you. The reason you became successful on an international level is because of your professionalism and ability to produce quality results.

From being seated on the counter, you’re a few centimeters taller than Kuroo. That completed the idea in your head. You took the glass drink and placed it on your right hand. “Put your hands on my hips,” you tell him then lightly lift his chin with your index finger, “and look at me like you worship me.” The command earned a raised eyebrow from him but you pay no heed to it.

You extend an arm over his right shoulder, the glass dangling on your fingertips. With your index finger on his chin, you look to the camera with provocative eyes. If anything looks wrong with Kuroo, you’ll just let Mitsuki handle it. After all, she’s the one who asked him to be a part of this.

“Oh yea! That’s really good.” Compared to before, she looks pleased with the shots now. The pose was captured a few times before she speaks again. “Instead of using your finger, grab his hair to tilt his head back.” You comply immediately and tugs his locks downwards. You might’ve done it a bit rougher than you wanted because you heard a raspy grunt from his throat. You got distracted, so instead of looking at the camera, you look at him.

You regret it. When you said he should look at you with worship, you didn’t think he’d do it this well. Because his hair is pushed completely all the way back, you see every aspect of his face. Nothing was blocking his eyes that were full of yearning and desire. He’s looking at you like you’re not just the hottest girl in the bar, but the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes one.

“Pull him closer and look here y.n.” You do as you’re told, thankful that you needed to look somewhere else. “Damn. You two look so good right now.” She gently claps her hands while looking at the monitor.

“I’m already satisfied, but let’s just do one more for another option. Umm, Kuroo. You be the aggressor this time. Y/n, …. you know what to do.” She winks after.

Well, not really you don’t. She just wants you to do the thinking on what to do. You put the glass down and put both your hands on his shoulders. “Help me down?” You ask with an easygoing smile. You don’t want to ruin the momentum of the shoot, so you decide to be nice to him for now.

“You got it,” then his hand travels up your waist and guides you down back to the floor. You tell him to lean on the counter. He follows with no complaints. You get his arm and ushers him to wrap it on your waist. When he goes along with your silent instruction, you raise your leg to his side.

“Tug my skirt up to my thighs.”

He doesn’t react and just squints at you.. “Huh?” Since he did not grasp what you meant, you take it to yourself to do it and slowly gather the material at the ends. Then, you yank it up to your thigh. “Get it?” He whistles as he gets the cloth from your hands. “Hey. Don’t do that. If you’re a real model, you’d be in trouble if I report that behavior.”

“But I’m not a real model, am I?” You glare at his provocation. You won’t be having any of his crap at your workplace. “Kuroo,” you say with a menacing glare and he immediately gets the threat behind it. “My bad, my bad. I’ll behave again, kay? Stop scowling now.” You relax your face and take a deep breath. “Moving on then.” You enclose your left arm on his neck while you plant your right on his chest. You don’t want to direct him any further than this. If this is unsatisfactory, Mitsuki will say something.

Aaaand she does. “Kuroo-san. Aggressive please. Own her. You don’t want her to get away from you.” Upon hearing Mitsuki’s additional instructions, everything about him intensifies three folds. He pulls you even closer, causing your breath to hitch when his face is dangerously near yours all of a sudden. His sleeves don’t do anything to mask the firmness of his arms. And even with the velvet fabric, you can still the strength of his thighs as they’re pinned on yours. The heat of his hand ignited the skin of your thigh as he clutched the fabric and your flesh forcefully. And his eyes, they no longer worship you. They spoke of something similar, but not quite.

He wants to devour you whole.

It was too overwhelming for you, so you look away and close your eyes dramatically to make it seem like you’re being swept away in the moment. After one camera flash, “Okay dear, but I need you to look at him this time.”

The few seconds of breaking away from his fiery stare did you some good. You were able to collect yourself again, but not enough to truly look at him. You just focus your gaze right between his eyes as you did earlier.

“Nooo. When I said look at him, I meant really look at him. Respond with your own passion. You’re looking a bit of a scared vegetable right now, honey.” You’ve never had feedback like that in forever. Maybe when you tried modeling the first few months, you received something similar to that. But never when you started doing it full time.

You don’t want to, but you have to. You finally meet his gaze and tap into something inside yourself that you’ve been holding back. You let your desire for him deluge you, let it surge through your veins until you’re aching for him. You push yourself even closer to him, not allowing even air to pass between your bodies.

“Yes! YES! You want him so much, but you shouldn’t.”

It was just as she said. You want him so much, so much that it almost hurts. You part your lips slightly as you get lost in the moment.

“Oh my God.” Her words sounded distant. It was there. You can hear it, but what clouded your senses was your heart pounding hard against your chest, his hot breath mingling with yours, and the way his eyes are now devoted to your lips. Not long after, he angles his face so that your lips are almost touching. Just a tiptoe and a kiss will already take place. You clench your fingers on his shirt, holding yourself back from that one tiny push that will allow you to feel his lips on yours again.

“Holy Shit! HOLY SHIT! That was it. That was the money shot.” Mitsuki’s shrill voice which was followed by her squeal broke the trance you were in. You know what she meant. The shoot is done. Yet, you still feel hot. The heated atmosphere around you two still hasn’t caved in. He let go of your thigh as you put some space away from him. You settle your hands on his shoulders while you rest your forehead on his chest. He doesn’t move either. His hand remains on your waist, but without the force this time. With his other hand, he caringly skims the curve of your shoulder.

“You okay, kitten?”

His voice is so gentle, you nearly convince yourself that it sounded loving. You nod weakly before heading back to the dressing room without saying anything.

Kuroo’s gaze followed your back as you disappeared. He was amazed but also bothered at what just happened. You looked really into it, like you really wanted him. If the shoot didn’t finish any sooner, he might have closed that tiny gap that separated your lips from his. He’s been aching for you for so long that his control is slipping inch by inch every time there’s an opportunity to cross that line of friendship you set. When he saw you let go and completely relent within his hold, it was maddening at how he couldn’t have you at the moment. What’s worse is that even without the glamorous set, he knows you’re still not his to have.

He walks towards the room where his clothes were hung and changes back to his usual suit. He asked the make up staff to remove everything on his face. He doesn’t like the feeling of having a layer of cosmetics on his skin. The hair they couldn’t do anything about because they used a lot of product to fix it up.

When he gets out of the room, Mitsuki approaches him with a satisfied look on her face

“You did so well for someone with no experience at all. Do you have a card? I can hook you up for other gigs. You’ll do great.”

He smiles graciously at her generous offer, but he doesn’t want it. “Sorry, but I’m not really interested. I only did it cause it was her.” He said truthfully. Mitsuki’s mouth curled in amusement. “You know, y.n’s really good to work with. She always had this cool facade that never went down, and it works for her. We love her for it. But today,” she pauses as she gives him a meaningful look. “I’ve never seen her show such vulnerability and rawness. It was,” she sighs with admiration for you.

“Beautiful, wasn’t it?” He knows exactly what she’s saying. After all, he has seen several times how captivating your authenticity can be.

“Soo, are you two dating or what?” Her eyebrows twitch up and down from anticipation at what he’s about to answer. He badly wants to say yes, but he doesn’t have that luxury. “Naaah. Like she said, I’m just a friend.”

She’s obviously dissatisfied with his response. He is too, but that’s the lousy truth. Out of the blue, she takes her phone out. “Too bad though. You two looked really good here.” She showed him the photo and it was you and him earlier. You were seated in the counter with your arms on his shoulders and his hands on your waist. It was when you were both laughing at his stupid statement.

“Can you send me that photo?”

“Why should I?”

He’s well aware of what she’s trying to do. It’s a business transaction, except for the lack of formality. She wants to get something in return, and he knows exactly what it is.

“You’re good.” He admits with an impressed glint in his eyes.

“I am. So what’ll it be?” He knows that she knows she has the upperhand of the negotiation. She could probably tell that there’s something going on with the two of you. It’s just a matter of deciding which information to give her. But he didn’t have the fortune of having too many options. He didn’t want to reveal the nature of your relationship before. He wasn’t sure of your feelings for him. He can only speak for himself.

“Fine. I sorta like her.”

Her eyes brighten up. “Aha! I knew it. You should totally ask her out, kay? You’re gonna have tall and beautiful babies.” She put one hand on her cheek and closed her eyes while screeching at her own daydream of you and him getting together. When she calms down, she sends you the image file. “For real though. I’ve never seen her like that,” she points to your dazzling face in laughter in the photo.

“Hey. What’re you two talking about?” You’re back to your normal clothes, but your hair and makeup was still there.

“Nothing. Let’s go now?” He spoke immediately before your nosy director could say something. He walks to your direction before heading out together. “Bye! Update me, Kuroo-san!” Mitsuki said as she waved goodbye. You couldn’t help but be curious on what he should update her about.

The rain stopped so no more umbrella horseplay. When you both get inside his car, you immediately ask him, “What was that about?”

“Uhh. She asked if I wanted to do other modeling projects.”

“Do you?”

He didn’t hesitate before answering, “No. That sort of stuff is not for me. I only did it to piss you off.” He starts the engine, then pivots his body to face you. “I must say though. I enjoyed seeing you eyefuck me.” Just when you are getting used to the peaceful, non-smug Kuroo, his true personality kicks right back in. Good thing you took your time getting changed and basically just calmed yourself down.

“Glad you did. That’s the most you can get from me after all.”

His smile turned upside down at your remark. “Tch.” Your lips tug upwards at the side from his lack of retaliation.

“I haven’t told you yet, but it wasn’t my first modeling experience.”

You’re a bit surprised. Even though he has the appearance of a model, you didn’t think he’d do it. You agree with what he said just a while ago. It wasn’t for him. He’s best at his job right now.

He gets his phone and scrolls up. He must be looking for a photo to show you as proof. When you see his screen, your heart swells. It was you and him a year ago. The neckline of your shirt was pulled to your shoulder for a makeshift off-shoulder while he knotted his t-shirt to form a crop top. You two wore large smiles while posing silly in front of the cam. It was right after when you told him that you’re a model.

“I- you... umm. You kept these?” You swipe the screen and see every single photo you took that day. Not one was deleted. You remember the laughter and absurd joy behind each frame.

“Yea. Why wouldn’t I?”

One more swipe and there’s no other photo after yours. That’s when you notice that the photos are in the Favorites album. You felt like you were about to tear up. You’ve never felt so cherished in your whole life. Even though you left without saying a proper goodbye and no indication of going back, he still kept them. You tried so hard to forget about him, yet there he was, keeping these small tokens of what you had - proof that you really had been a part of his life.You felt something inside you crumble piece by piece. You should be scared, but at the moment, you don’t feel any fear. Instead, you were enraptured.

You can feel your cheeks hurting from how wide your grin is. You don’t bother hiding it from him.

“Can you send these to me?” You turn to him with the smile still plastered on your face, but he frowns at your question.

“Those photos came from you.”

You look back at his phone, your big smile reduced into a faint one that’s traced with melancholy. “I deleted them when I went to the US.” If he asks why, you wouldn’t know how to answer. Fortunately, he doesn’t. He gets his phone back from your hand and fiddles with it a bit. A few seconds later, you hear a notification from your own phone. When you open it, all the photos are sent to you.

He looks at you warmly, his face devoid of anything but heartfelt fondness. “There. Like you never got rid of them.”

---

You lie on your bed with bottomless thoughts that night. Kuroo’s words weighed more than they should in your head as you stare at the photos.

You deleted them to completely erase any trace of his existence in your life. Now they’re back in your phone with not a single photo missing from the stack. Ironically, it’s also you who asked for them back. Yet, you don’t mind. You came to accept that those memories existed. They happened. There’s no use trying to forget they did when he’s already back in your life anyways.

Looking at you and Kuroo in the images, you can’t avoid thinking how simple those times were. You were just two cool people who had sex for fun. You had no clue things would happen as they did - falling for him, leaving, and for some reason - destiny or whatever, meeting him again. The past you tried to leave behind crept up to you and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

You thought you’ve moved on. You’ve thoroughly convinced yourself that you’ve disposed of all unnecessary emotions that involved Kuroo. You thought that whatever it is that you felt when you met him again was just remnants of yesterday. You were so wrong. That‘s just what you tried to tell yourself, repeating the idea over and over in your head until you believed it.

But it never really happened. You haven’t forgotten about him. When you went on dates in the U.S., you’d remember him. So you stopped trying to see anyone and attributed that to being scared of getting hurt again. Hence, you shut yourself out to anyone until you no longer found dating to be interesting. You told yourself getting in a relationship would just get in the way of your career.

That wasn’t true.

The truth is just as he said. Your feelings for him are still there, you never did get rid of them. The question now is how to proceed from here.

You jerk when your phone rings right at your hand.

‘Kuroo’

You don’t want to answer it. You basically just admitted to yourself that you’re still in love with him. Hearing his voice right now would be dangerous for your fragile heart.

But it might be something important. He doesn’t usually call.

You press the answer button. You were about to say hello, but your heart was beating so fast that you were unable to get any word out.

“Hello?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat so you could speak. “Yeah?”

“Is something wrong? You sound a bit off?” How he could tell even through a phone call is unbelievable. “Everything’s fine. Why’d you call anyways?” You do your best to sound normal. “Block your Thursday next week. I’m throwing a party.”

“What for?”

“Mmm. Just felt like having one.”

You minimize the call to check your calendar if you had any plans that day. “Alright. I have an event in the morning, but that night’s free.”

“Nice!!” He sounded a bit too glad.

“Is that why you called?” It’s a bit suspicious that he rang you just for that. It’s just a party. He could’ve texted you instead.

“Why? Am I not allowed to call when I want to?” Your heart skips a beat from the playful tone in his voice. You picture him smirking on his phone while he’s lying in bed. You bite your lip at the image in your head.

Screw you and your stupid imagination.

“Good night, Kuroo.” You said dismissively. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything else important anyways. He chuckles from the other line before speaking so ever softly with tenderness that gives you butterflies in your stomach.

“Good night, kitten.”

It was just a simple good night but you were reeling. You fight the smile that was forcing itself to form on your lips. You look at your photos one more time and sigh.

You are so in love with him.

On the other end, Kuroo is all smiles to himself. Nothing beats hearing your voice after a long day. Once again, he stares at the photo Mitsuki gave him that afternoon. He wishes it was real. He wishes you were smiling for him, laughing with him, and happy with him. If only you gave any indication that you like him more than a friend, he would’ve made his move.

Even though he knows you still desire him, he wouldn’t settle for just sex. He doesn’t want a repeat of the past. He wants something further than that and more importantly, you deserve better than that. But so far, he could tell you were enjoying the friendship and companionship only. Even if he wanted to take things forward, he’s not sure that that’s what you want. You haven’t given anything away for him to make his move. He doesn’t want to risk it and have you running for the hills.

Will he ever make you fall for him? Should he just leave things as is or do something bolder for you to realize that to him, you’re not just a friend?

He sighs.

He’s so in love with you.

Part 6 | Part 8 | m.list

taglist: @lia-faerie-queen @mkkhaikyuu @fastidious-and-precise @winunk @feelkindahorny @cece-lives-here @babythotshq @arendizzle

#kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo fanfiction #kuroo smut #kuroo tetsuro smut #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsuro x you #haikyuu imagines

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ajwamiju-archives · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, harassment, swearing, a lot of it, manipulation, slow-burn (?), eventual romance, eventual smut, enemies to allies to lovers, coercion, slight dub-con, minor character deaths

Mafia boss! Kita Shinsuke x Spy! F! Reader

Summary: For as long as you’ve been on God’s blue earth, you’ve been taught to help your family by gathering information and spying on other crime syndicates from all over Japan. To say you’re good for your age is an understatement, you’re one of the best out there with all of the information you’ve managed to gather.

Once you turn 20, you are to be given your first official mission as a fully grown adult, retrieving the important documents the Inarizaki clan has managed to steal. You’re confident you’re able to do it, but a lot of things don’t exactly go according to plan...

Note: I forgot surnames existed and missed editing the placeholder surname for reader, oops sorry about that!

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True to his words, Kita Shinsuke did come back the next day, and the day after that, and two days after that until he’s been visiting you every 12 p.m. sharp every single day without fail just to persuade you to join the foxes like it’s become a routine for him. He cleared up the misconception of you being a mere fuck toy by the second day he visited you, stating that ‘yer skills are too good to waste.’

You honestly want to scoff, at this point you see him and the core members who happen to be accompanying him more than the lower ranked members who were tasked to watch over you. You have to admit, Kita hasn’t so much as touched you inappropriately, maybe the occasional chin or jaw grabbing to make you look at him properly when he’s speaking, but that’s about it. He’s a persistent motherfucker though, you’ll give him that.

The cell door opens and you’re quite surprised when you’re simply instructed to bathe by Akagi, him trailing behind you and standing in front of the stall door holding the clean clothes provided. You wonder what’s going to happen here on out as you wash your hair. Did he get tired of you already? That may be good on your part, but for someone who has familiarised himself as a persistent bitch, it sounds pathetic for him to give up some three weeks later, give or take.

You notice the clothes given to you are nicer than usual, rather than the usual plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants you’re given, you’re currently slipping into a black blouse and some white, high-waisted denim shorts. “What’s with the nice clothes?” You ask once you step out of the shower stall.

“Boss wants to see ya.” Akagi answers, handcuffing your wrists before leading you back to your cell.

“And? He sees me every single day in the usual clothes I wear, what’s different about today?”

“D’ya want to be put in the usual instead?”

“I won’t complain, the usual is more comfortable anyway.”

You hear Akagi sigh at your answer, despite knowing the man to be very cheerful and energetic towards his clan members, you somehow manage to drain all of that without much effort. You have half a mind to grin at your accomplishment but you don’t feel like explaining to the man himself how you love seeing him so deflated because of you.

“He wants to see ya in his room instead, dunno why, didn’t answer when I asked.” Akagi says.

Once you arrive at your cell, Akagi uncuffs you and you walk back into your cell; you stop when you see a small bag and a pair of white flats placed by your bed. You look back at Akagi questioningly who simply shrugs and leaves you alone for the time being. You cautiously approach the shoes first and check every inch your fingers can reach, inspecting for any forms of torture that might be imbedded in your shoes.

You furrow your eyebrows when you see none, well Kita has been seemingly trying to get on your good side these past few weeks, so it wouldn’t make much sense if he ends up torturing you. You hesitantly slip on the shoes and you’re both surprised and impressed to find them fitting comfortably on your feet, but the feeling quickly died down as you realise; they probably did some weird shit to obtain the information of your foot size to a T that it fits so comfortably.

You decide you don’t want to know and slip the shoes off before sitting cross-legged on your bed, eyeing the small bag in front of you. A multitude of thoughts run through your head about what the content of the bag could be, a time bomb? A bomb that is triggered when you open the bag? You don’t know, but you suppose dying from a bomb explosion would hurt less than radiation poisoning or being skinned alive.

You take a deep breath and carefully pull the zipper and flap open to reveal… makeup? And a note, but you’re too fixated on the fact you’re given makeup (brand new nonetheless) when you’re a hostage (prisoner?) that’s being coerced (read: forced) to join the family. You stare at the items in front of you for a few more seconds before you snap out of your thoughts and take the note to read it.

Here’s some makeup to make you look more presentable, you will be walking to my room after all. You can not wear it if you wish, just know it’s not poisoned or tampered with in any way. I simply wish to have a discussion with you, so I hope to see you at exactly 1.30 p.m.

-Kita Shinsuke

You ignore the fact that Kita’s handwriting is neater and very pleasant to look at than anyone else’s you’ve seen thus far and move to inspect the makeup products he provided you. They aren’t exactly expensive, but they sure as hell aren’t cheap; you never expected to receive anything fancy, hell you would think he’d rather provide you with makeup for kids in those barbie head mannequins.

You re-read the note and realise you really have no time to lose. Now you’re no rookie in makeup, but the time it takes to complete a look doesn’t happen in 30 seconds so you start applying the primer while deciding how to look. You know he probably isn’t going to kill you, but if he is, at the very least you have to look pretty so whoever finds your body won’t be too appalled.

Just as you’re applying a coat of lip gloss, the cell doors open to reveal Osamu and Suna peering in. Suna waves the handcuffs and you sigh, slipping your shoes on before walking over to the pair and giving your wrists for them to cuff and lead you out like some dog.

“Wouldn’tcha look at that? She’s like an obedient lil bitch after three weeks.” Osamu croons, shooting you a smirk on his usually impassive face.

“I’m going to shove a stiletto heel so high up your ass, it’ll puncture your prostate and give you erectile dysfunction.” You hiss as Suna pulls at your handcuffs.

“Oh wow, how scary.”

You walk through the mansion that’s clearly an old one considering the style of architecture is that of olden Japan though there are a few modern touches here and there. You watch every movement around you. Some of the men openly look at you as if you’re a piece of meat, clearly thinking of simply using you for a few nights at best.

You walk through a hallway and come across photos of the Kita descendant line, from the founder of the clan to the most recent one being Kita, all having their distinctive blank yet sharp and pressuring looks on their faces. Your eyes linger a bit longer on Kita Shinsuke and you scrunch your nose, Osamu’s right; you’re supposed to be his nemesis, yet here you are obeying every command they give you like an obedient little puppy.

The three of you stop in front of a door that’s slightly fancier than all the doors you’ve come across so far, Suna knocks and before long, the door slides open to reveal Kita in all his blank-faced glory. “Ye’re 10 minutes late.” He says, taking the key to your handcuffs from Suna.

“Gee, wonder whose fault it is for not putting a clock in the cell.” You reply sarcastically as Kita dismisses his men and pulls you into his room.

The bedroom is basically what you expected, bamboo bookshelves line the walls, books neatly stacked in leaving no space. His bed isn’t a futon, surprisingly; the frame of the bed is low and matches the colour of his bookshelf, the sheets are pure white and is tucked in neatly, just like everything else in his room. He leads you to a kotatsu, quite a few high-end dishes being served on top of it, he sits down before motioning for you to follow suit.

You eye the pillow suspiciously and kick it and step on it lightly. When you finally determine the seat as safe, you reluctantly sit on your calves and placing your (still) handcuffed hands on your lap. Kita takes a sip of his tea, seemingly thinking as he stares at the food on the table. “It’s not poisoned, ya can eat it safely.” He states as he places his cup down.

“I don’t give a single shit if it’s poisoned or not, if this is about me joining you then forget it, might as well poison the food.” You spit, gripping the handcuff chain.

“Don’tcha think it’s best for ya to reconsider? After all, with yer skills it’d be a waste to just kill ya.”

“I’d rather die than betray my siblings. My old man may be an asshole, but my siblings are still searching for me, and I know they won’t stop searching for me until they know I’ve died.”

Kita nods, glancing up to maintain eye contact with you. “Well, I suppose it can’t be helped,” he says and reaches under the table, pulling out a file. “Yer brother is gonna have a field mission to seal a drug trade with a smaller family in Gifu in a few days, unfortunately, if ya won’t cooperate with us he’s not gonna have a smooth trade.”

You scoff at the blatant threat Kita gave you, shaking you head in disbelief. “You think my brother is that weak? Not only will he not be alone, his abilities are comparable to mine, just how much are you underestimating him?”

“I think ye’re the one underestimatin’ us here, [Surname].” Kita says and pulls out a photo from the file. “He got hurt from a scuffle with the police yesterday, even if his bodyguards are physically stronger than our men, that doesn’t mean we won’t use dirty tricks to eliminate ‘im.”

You study the photo and furrow your eyebrows, it’s indeed a photo of your brother and sister, running away from uniformed officers, limbs bloody from where they got hurt. Your breath hitches at the severity of the wounds, you don’t want to believe your father will send your siblings out when they’re severely hurt, but you’re willing to bet he’s sending Nami out as bait.

“How am I supposed to trust this photo? It’s probably edited for all I know.” You mutter while you study the photo more, looking for any signs of editing you’re desperately searching for.

“It’s not edited, sweetheart.” Kita says and pulls out a laptop from under the table. “Ya can study the photo however ya like.” He adds as he hands you the laptop.

Bringing the laptop down to your lap, you run the photo through programmes and study it by eye while Kita sips his miso soup patiently, not seeming to mind if the food’s getting cold. As minutes pass, your face falls even more from the fact that the photo is indeed, real. You sigh and give the laptop back to Kita who gratefully takes it back from your hands.

You take a deep breath and stare at your lap. “Fine, I’ll work with you. On two conditions.” You mutter reluctantly.

“I can’t promise to fulfil those conditions, it’ll have to depend on what ya ask for.”

Your eye twitch in annoyance, gritting your teeth as you try your hardest not to just launch yourself across the table and strangle the silver-haired man. “That you not ask me to do jobs that will hurt my mother and siblings in any way and for me to just be your spy, which means no using me as you or your men’s personal sex toy.”

Kita hums for a few seconds before nodding his head in agreement. “Those are conditions I can readily accept. In return, ye’re free to roam around the house, but ya can’t walk outside of the premises unless I give ya permission to do so.”

“I suppose that’s… I suppose those are fair conditions given the situation.” You mumble, swiping your tongue over your lips despite you already wearing lip gloss. “I request a properly written contract in any case any of the conditions are broken.”

Kita digs into the file, pulling out a blank piece of paper and walks over to you with the paper and a pen in hand, he unlocks your handcuffs and hands you the pen and paper for you to write your terms as well as his. You both sign the paper and bite your fingers, drawing enough blood to smear them under your names.

“We look forward to workin’ with ya, welcome to the family.”

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