#i mean it fucking CRUNCHED it look at that thing. tbh i kinda like the uncanny look it gives it though

[cryptidwithacopiccollection]

Because in the light, you are untouchable.

(flickering gif/possible eyestrain below the cut)

#rb #my art #ace attorney #klavier gavin #flashing gif #flashing warning #eyestrain #art stuff #i dunno if this counts but #animated gif #when i say may art program *crunched* the gif #i mean it fucking CRUNCHED it look at that thing. tbh i kinda like the uncanny look it gives it though #i am losing my mind about this stupid fictional rockstar. 'hes a diva who freaks out and loses his shit over his keys going missing.' #'lol he even put his logo on his boot prints! haha thats so funny-' #do you understand that every. single. person involved with state v. gramareye felt watched. #the mishams were fucking *terrified* for almost a decade because of the looming threat of kristoph's retribution. and they were right. #zak was putting road behind him for years #hiding in the shadows so he couldnt be found. but he was found anyways. #klavier was kristoph's *brother*. he knows how cruel he can he up-close and personal. but hes not dumb. no #unlike everyone else he chose a strategy that actually worked: becoming so visible that it would be hard to make him disappear quietly. #of COURSE his shoes are like that. you know exactly whose boot prints they are. he plasters that logo on everything. youll know it's his. #ofcourse he made himself so popular. there would be massive public outcry if he was hurt or went missing. #and when he finally returns to the same city as kristoph after his brother's been arrested for murder thinking hes safe? #his keys disappear. why wouldn't he freak out? he's felt the looming weight of a threat to his life over his head since he fled at 17. #he needs his keys to use his bike. to get into his house. to the break locks on his stuff. stuff in his mind kristoph may now have access t #sure hes a diva #but he is also a scared little brother who is doing his goddamn BEST to avoid the painful retribution he knows kristoph had for him #because in the light? you are untouchable #there are too many eyes to see you go

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hay...... Do you think you could do tadc characters with a reader who has super bad depth perception (due to an eye injury) and as a result often ends up walking into things because they didn't realise it was right in front of them?? :3 (aka me)

TADC cast x reader who has very bad depth perception!

fuck it we balling!! (admin is now on a small time crunch, theyre not going to explode if they fail to finish this before they timer is up, but they are weird about time stuff) rolls around ehehehhehe i hope you enjoy!! i must admit, admin was a little stumped on this so this might be a little..... meh </3

CAINE:

i think he blows it out way out of proportion... though im not sure thats the right word... i mean, if you manage to get close to caine (which is quite a feat considering before he didnt really. build genuine connections with circus members as well as being busy with... whatever it is he does...) he doesnt quite.. understand... so i think he insists on being your eyes, utilizing his... thousands of all seeing eyes. he can get overbearing at times so youre going to need to set the record straight and explain things to him... hes a little confused but hes got the spirit.... takes you to his room whenever things get hard (migraine, nausea, ect ect ect) and pampers you... so.. maybe him taking things too far/seriously isnt that bad...

POMNI:

has probably tossed you something before remembering your depth perception... the regret on her face is immediate, spreading over it before you even have the chance to react to whats going on... quick and long stream of apologies as she picks up the thing; it wasnt even likely anything important or fragile

eventually builds the habit to not toss things to people when they ask for something.. offers to read things out for you if you have trouble with it, as well as guiding you to dark places if you have trouble with migraines as well (while admin doesnt have depth perception he does have something funky with his eyes that make them sometimes roll and cross and it suuuucks)

RAGATHA:

oh she is so so so empathetic with you. as mentioned above in pomnis part, if youre prone to nausea or migraines, shes going to do all that she can to help you... usually lets you lay in her bed to collect yourself... helps you judge the distance things are, especially if its in a chaotic situation such as an in house adventure. if you open up to her about the reason behind your bad vision, her heart is going to hurt for you. if you need comfort, she will provide it; if you just need some ears, she will provide. generally very good about accommodating you

JAX:

has probably asked why your eyes look off, assuming they cross or otherwise arent "standard". doesnt really say it to be rude, well.. actually no this is jax hes likely just scoping to see what the deal is, though its more of a curiosity thing. gives a soft "oh" when you briefly explain why. honestly i think he has a habit of tossing things to people when they ask him for something, and i think this would carry over to you.... does sometimes feel bad, but hey! hes not trying to be mean (kinda...)

does not stoop low enough to use your poor depth perception to his advantage for pranks, though. hes an asshole but i dont think he would be that evil tbh...

KINGER:

honestly? same. like i dont think that he has bad eyes thanks to an injury, no rather i think its just because hes OLD!!! so theres times where you guys fail to be each others eyes. you have terrible depth perception, he is shortsighted... uh oh... good news is that hes always keeping an eye on you (no shitty pun intended) due to him constantly worrying about you, so the chance of you somehow being in the way of danger is fairly low.... probably.... if you tend to attract it, though, or are on the clumsier side, rest assured that hes keeping you in the pillow fort!/lh

ZOOBLE:

probably doesnt even notice it at first until you bring it up in passing, and honestly i dont think their view on you would change. sure they would try to be more accommodating for you since theyre not totally apathetic, especially since youre a friend and/or partner... but theyre not too... emotional, so unlike ragatha they wouldnt outwardly give you an excessive amount of.... pity? care? im struggling to find the right word, im afraid... will let you vent about it, though, if the issues that come with it cause any stress.. otherwise doesnt bring it up too much unless you bring it up, both because they dont think its too much of a big deal as well as not wanting to pry

GANGLE:

very sad very empathetic if you ever open up to her about the events leading up to your injury (assuming you remember/it was something that happened in the real world that carried into the digital world), and perhaps sheds a tear for you. helps you read and write things if you struggle with it, as well as even wrapping her ribbon around your eyes should any random bouts of nausea roll in. generally very sweet about it but is very careful about not stepping over any lines, tends to ask before doing something (especially with the blindfolding/nausea thing)

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[rosyfingereddawnn]

Part 2 on the Ghost recs please!

ohhhhhh bestie you do not know what you’re getting yourself into !!! really i do love you for enabling me anon i owe you my life <3 here we goooooo. as always it’ll be under the cut :)

oh and here’s part 1 !!!!

secular haze - fucked up carnival-core. i really don’t know how to explain this one except it’s really good??? instrumentals are so very good, and the vocals really send me into oblivion sometimes i think !!! look in a way it’s very hypnotic it’s hard to explain but secular haze doesn’t get enough appreciation. also whisper singing thank you papito !!!!

dance macabre - look. LOOK. insane 80s vibes it’s truly so fun. tbh one of the first songs i listened to when i got into them and it’s just such a banger through and through. i would like to be bewitched in the moonlight thank you <3 no but literally i have no words it’s so amazing the lyrics make me so feral. good instrumentals as always <3 OH AND THE BACKING VOCALS ARE SO PRETTY UGH 😌 because Yeah. Cataclysm, Armageddon.

pro memoria - priddy intro 🥹 also it’s a very beautiful song but look. the lyrics are like. good but also kinda funny to me??? like it’s pretty but also the chorus comes and i am stifling laughter because it’s just. wow. you’ll see. but yeah layered vocals guitars piano/organ drums keys. SO good. a lil bit of satanism to spice things up <3

absolution - guitar, drum and bass fuck this entire song. so very good so very spooky so very HOT. a common theme in like all of their songs but yeah like. literally it’s spooky and then you can’t help but Shake Ass. i mean you get papa growls too??? you get the chorus with amazing vocals???? sexy, genuinely good lyrics??? it goes hard the entire song. AND THEN THE BRIDGE COMES AND YOU ASCEND.

witch image - PRETTY VOICE PAPA <3 i kinda have no words for this one except so fucking catchy??? i mean every aspect of it is so fun and so memorable??? and the lyrics are. really something. wow. uhhhhhh yeah this one is kinda pro memoria-core for a Lil Bit, but it’s genuinely well-written and needed in our society at the same time???? if that makes sense??? but god HARMONIES AS ALWAYS. D R U M S O L O.

rats - AHHHHH RATS MY BELOVED. look this one is so so fun and the lyrics make me go bananas because like. based on the title you wouldn’t expect it to be Good i guess?? also once again all around good instrumentals?? also the rolling of the r on rrrrrats is my Entire sexuality thank you copia for my every right <3 god GORGEOUS layered vocals guitar licks sent from the heavens (hehe) OH WAIT THE FUCKING SOLOS AHHHHHH FUCK. WOWOWOWOWOW makes me batshit <3

majesty - if i could i would slurp the entirety of the intro through a silly straw it is So. Fucking. Good. Ough. THE GUITAR LICKS IN THIS SONG i am crunching and munching on them. sexy papa voice as usual tbh. once again just a lil bit of satanism for the sex appeal and all that !!!! some scrumptious organ !!!!! the chorus is so pleasing to listen to i don’t even know what to say it’s just so nice <3

jigolo har megiddo - mwah mwah mwah i love this song so much it’s so SEXY. also the “richly endowed” part um i want it tattooed onto me on every available inch of skin thank you. there’s just something about it. no but good bass. gooooood bass. good vocals as usual. ugh it’s just So catchy and the guitar solo is. mwah. ough. ALSO THERES LIKE A LIL WHISPER SING BACKGROUND VOCALS PART THAT GETS ME OH ITS SO GOOD.

kiss the go-goat - um. well. somehow it’s the ultimate daddy issues anthem and it’s also about Kissing Satan’s Bumhole. yeah i don’t know either papa nihil’s a lil weird :// but no this song. is such. a fucking BOP. satanism is um. at the forefront here. okay. BUT during this like. growl/speaking part the DRUMS. oh GOD. ohhhhh wow. w o w. good guitar solo As Usual and just like. sexy all around. “it ain’t always what it seems that glitter wasn’t gold as opposed to what they told you” i’m Screeching. also HI THE GROAN AND KISS AT THE END. nope. instead i will focus on the sexy lil flourish at the end after That.

if you have ghosts - emotional support ghong (ghost song). this one’s about loneliness!!!! and it hurts me personally!!!! violins at the beginning hello!!!! the lyrics seem like Weird at times but if you look into the meaning and what is actually being said it’s like Especially emotionally taxing !!!!! also just. “in the night i am real.” yeah it hurts meeeeeeeee <3 ough good guitarrrrr i am crunching and munching all the time. good BASS TOO THANK YOU. VOCALS OH. OH. this song hits so so hard always and it shouldn’t but it does. terzo singing this especially hits but that’s because of his voice AND for lore purposes that i won’t talk about ever

ritual - fuuuuuull of satanism. sorry mom sorry dad sorry everyone. it still fucks. nah but this is said to be ‘one of the most evil songs in history!!!’ and it’s literally sung by a dude who plays the kazoo. yeah. it’s sexy and tbh sorry to anyone who is especially christian/catholic but the lyrics give me giggles constantly <3 sexy guitar all the way through (SOLOS!) and some Growling from primo thank you <3 i don’t know how to explain it but the Pace of it is so fun and the chorus just builds and swells and it’s So Good.

missionary man - AGAIN SORRY TO ANY CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC FOLKS BUT THIS IS THE ULTIMATE CATHOLIC DISS TRACK !!!!! you have a man dissing missionaries and catholicism while a soul/gospel singer Kills it in the background. lyrics are So. Funny. terzo has good flow honestly. also this is about catholicism but it’s also Blatantly about sex too <3 thank you. instrumentals are INSANE and so good, background vocals are so so so Scrumptious. don’t even get me started on terzo though HOO boy. sexcee!! literally the entire song is so bangin and So hilarious.

life eternal - papa lullaby part 2 🥺 ow ow ow owwwww oh it’s so good and so pretty 🥺🥺 i don’t know what it is about the lyrics here they’re just so gorgeous??? and there’s really something about like. forever being entwined anyways i’ll shut up. underrated bass. PIANO AND ORGAN. pretty layered vocals again 🥺 THE PART WHERE THE GUITAR COMES IN ?????? THE SWELLING AND ADDING-ON OF VOICES AND THEN THE TUNNEL QUALITY THEY GET WHEN THE GUITARS TAKE OVER. G O D. PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 all of it is just SO transcendant and i’m trying not to cry while writing this because it’s genuinely so emotionally effective in every way.

square hammer - WOAHSJAKAJA HOO!!! square hammer sexyyyyyyyyyy. it’s starts off kinda spooky but this is ULTIMATE ass-shaking opportunities. Ugh drums get me Fucked up and the guitars and bass just meld together so well??? i Have seen this performed live (like. in a video because unfortunately they never fucking COME HERE) and it really is such an experience i would combust. anyways yeah it’s like. the Money Pink Floyd of ghost songs. the show-closer as of late and as it should be because holy Fuck guys. it’s insane. guitar solo mwah. sexy vocals <3

call me little sunshine - ough god. drums drums drums. i want to fuck the guitars in this song i am So serious about that. the lyrics are so interesting?? a lil bit of satanism as you may expect but it’s like. shifting the narrative here?? i will not go into it lest this turn into an essay BUT yeah it’s so intriguing. mmmmmmm vocals. deeeep papa voice. layered as usual but just. the chorus is truly so insane i think i levitate whenever i listen to this song. drum fills GOOD again. bridge MUNCH MUNCH CRUNCH.

twenties - okay. o k a y. this might be their hardest song and like. 90% sure it’s about war so take that as you Will. but it is So theatrical and So cathartic and it’s just. incredible???? i wasn’t a fan actually like. the first time i heard it but i Understand Now. BRASS INTRO INTO HARD GUITARS BASS AND DRUMS. ENSEMBLE VOCALS IN SOME PARTS. “i’m number one you’re number two you’ve got a lot of god’s work to do”??????? hi. growling papa is always Fucking sexy sorry mom sorry dad <3 like it’s kaisarion’s more fucked up brother because it truly is so energy-inducing except this one makes me want to commit every crime against authority that i can. also this guitar solo is so chaotic and soooo well-played it fits incredibly into the song i think. like this one’s not for everyone but it’s for me thank you tobias <3

ghuleh/zombie queen - i think ??? this is the longest song they have?? at like 7 minutes ???? BUT you get two! songs! in! one! its all about some fucked up zombie lady so lots of death imagery which is really interesting in the way they portray it??? whisper singing <333 it’s so calm and pretty at the start and the vocals match that. soft guitar riff that grows and gets me absolutely fucked up. halfway through there’s like. what sounds like a harmonica moment??? it’s a bit western film-core and then you SHAKE ASS SO FUCKING HARD. HELLO. THE ENTIRE SONG IS JUST SO UNDERRATED AND I NEED TO HEAR PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT MORE. guitar remains insane??? there’s the western elements throughout and it’s just a really interesting mix of Vibes honestly???? everyone go listen to zombie queen NOW. N O W.

hunter’s moon - ough. sexy little guitar riff to start us off. i don’t know if this was actually written for halloween kills but it Was featured in it and idk it’s. just so good. once again ghost is incredible with subverting expectations??? and genres???? and their SONGS????? because it is so pop-influenced in certain spots but then it’s like. oh yeah that’s why it was in a horror movie. there’s some Sick ass chanting right before the guitar solos and then LAYERED VOCALS PAPA IS K I L L I N G IT. OH GOD. and then fades are put in it’s truly just a masterclass in spooky music i don’t know how else to put it ????????? also there’s. lore. attached to this song in my mind and it hurts a Lot so yeah i’m a hunter’s moon stan first and a human being second.

once again there Should be financial compensation for anyone who reads to this point Sorry For This i was enabled. thank you so much to the absolutely lovely anon for the ask <3333

i hope i have converted some folks into ghesties <333333

#asks #anon :) #ghost

[running-in-the-dark]

Top 3 crunchiest sounds ?

I love this question, thank you for asking 😂 I had to take some time to think about it and now I'll do 5 because I thought of too many (and it's all just gonna be music lol)

(context, though it doesn't make anything any clearer lol)

1. Joseph Williams' voice, but only after about 1993. especially when it does that thing that I like 😌 I don't want to say I'm glad he lost his voice from all the cocaine but tbh I kinda am. I like it better now 🤷

2. this one line in the song Crush Crush by Paul Williams ('crunch crunch, chippy chippy, brain in my crush crush') - it's almost too obvious because it has the word crunch in it, but it just feels soooo nice (there's also actual crunchy chewing noises in that song but I hate those)

3. this part in All Eyes On Me by Bo Burnham (it starts at 2:50)

Are you feeling nervous?

Are you having fun?

It's almost over

It's just begun

Don't overthink this

Look in my eye

Don't be scared, don't be shy

Come on in, the water's fine

You say the ocean's rising like I give a shit

You say the whole world's ending, honey, it already did

You're not gonna slow it, Heaven knows you tried

Got it? Good, now get inside

4. Angela by Toto, when it gets to the part that starts at around 2:00. god I fucking love that part.

5. Work for a Dollar by Jimmy Webb, especially the bass in the beginning

6. (yeah it's 6 now, idc) basically every song on Kingdom of Desire by Toto, but especially these two

7. okay I just remembered this one and I can't leave it off this list, it's so crunchy, I love it so much

8. shit I forgot another important one. Leo Sayer's voice. specifically on the album Here. I probably would put that at number one if this was in order of what feels best, actually.

I still don't know what makes a sound *feel* crunchy or what I even mean by that exactly 🤷 like I said, I hate sounds that *are* actually crunchy (and I really mean hate, they're so bad, like actually physically painful sometimes).

sorry for making this so long 😬 it basically just ended up being a list of songs that I like 🤦

#I think sometimes it's just the bass lol #but not always so idk all I know is my brain says it feels that way haha #angel don't cry is another really crunchy one. and a few others from that album too #and a lot of bee gees songs feel incredibly crunchy too #but I need to shut up lol #asking me to list things is always dangerous 😂 #music #asks

[xian-1502]

Topical post: days are rolling by. at variable pace.my thoughts are cycling the same track of sorts. So i’m mostly set on what i’m getting, however i failed to account that i am aggressively average at wrapping and presentation. Was so sure i got the hardest part out of the way just to curb myself again. I’ll see what i can strap together. Also i gotta pack, so i can see how i’ll arrange all my stuff and all that jazz. Lest i be halfway to hell on the midnight of black trying to play reverse “unpacking: the video game” i’ll figure something out at least. Probably.

I have an odd mix of anticipation, anxiety, and excitement with this upcoming trip. Concerned about flights and potential mishaps, curious about innumerable things, and excited to have the 1 week trial. It’s a hurricane of feelings but it’s nothing i think i have to be particularly wary or conscious of. pretty normal tbh, this bananas.

Been thinking a great deal about how i want my hair. Originally i was gonna dye it on my birthday but i just retwisted and washed it and it’s like, i do NOT wanna do ts again. so its gotta wait for after my next wash, which might actually be soon i could possibly get dye it on my birthday, and then go to the concert with and trip with that hair. Then with styling, idk if i want twist, braid, or curl/knot out. Unfortunately imo they’re inversely proportional to how good i think they look on me, and how easy they are to do/keep for a while. TO’s with two strands are super easy but like, i kinda don’t like that twist out too much? it’s really whatever to me. BO’s though, they give a Wayyyyy better result in the wave pattern, love the way they come out and stay, they give locs an organic cute squiggle as opposed to the craig sharp coil from a TO. CO’s clear so easily on the looks chart though. They start of tight like a loose medusa-esque curl, then they unravel over time and set into this perfect sort of fall and flick up/around sort of look on the hair. a sort of perfect storm in good looking messy hair. but the knots, curls i have to do are so tedious and also hard to make sure they stay in place. Also they make me look like i never got locs. While i can appreciate that look a bit , i think i (and most people) look way better with longer hair. I’ll figure it out ig, but sitting somewhere between the braid and curl/knot style. Really wanna try those and see how long they last now that i have this mousse.

Wondering what kind of in between and lounge activities will be done. What games/shows watched aside from the expected. How/where’s the “whatever” lie down time and a lot gonna be. How late are we gonna wake up or stay up. And will i be physiologically pacific in that regard as well? or do i just adapt with the sunlight since it’s close enough. Nothing i know, but spend too much time trying to picture. Considering it’s coming right up and i don’t need to waste the film in my cranial imax screeening(radical dome).

Not much else i really think i’ve been thinking about( memorably) between my free time at least. Mostly ricocheting between thinking about work and school, and then making sure i’m on time for those and my other stuff. So sometimes i don’t get to spend time discerning what all this means in my head. Like today i clocked out and was like “ ah free to think about whatever” and my first thought was that i’m gonna be back in 12 hours 😭. The cheese is slipping off my cracker. Big cum is cracking my shell and they’re gonna make me a garden variety best buy geeky gooner (crazy chain of words and false trait attribution)

Regardless, these are my thoughts i think (some windbag, idk). that’s all folks like that guy from the luney toon

Pisses me off how sega sound team and sonic game design team make such godly music and concepts and then the publishing and commercial teams just grind it into the fucking ground with branding, exclusivity deals, arbitrary time crunches.

Shout out to my hero( my goat( tails but sonic by association ) is NOT washed)

#Spotify

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

#liam payne #whyyyy so confusing #niall horan #louis tomlinson #YES BABE please do bake off now PLEASE #Harry styles #looking so good even though those shorts are AWFUL IMO hilariously frumpy #love that #14 jun 21 #overall I do not think liam should get any more dogs #but a small dog he took everywhere with him would be ADORABLE #(more dogs than he has previously owned I mean he currently has no dogs)

[realcube]

i would just like to thank you for crunching out sm stuff for us and blessing us with such good writing!! 💕💗💕💗😩😪 truly *chefs kiss*

also could i request hcs on how tendou, fukunaga, matsukawa, bokuto, and iwaizumi react to their s/o doing this tiktok trend?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMee9HVe8/

(a/n): 🙏 i should be the one thanking y’all for reading my content tbh! 💕 oh and this request is absolutely adorable!

summary of the video: a person peppers their cat with kisses to the audio of a man saying, ‘i love you. mwah mwah mwah. you set my soul on fire’

content warning: sexual references, choking & dick sizes

satori tendō

♡ he would cackle if you tried to do the accent 

♡ i’d say he knows the trend but he doesn’t look like he uses tiktok and even if he did, he’d be on deep tiktok

♡ anyway, if you don’t do the accent and you just start kissing him while filming, he’ll just smile 

♡ like he just got all warm inside 

♡ he thinks his smile is subtle but when he rewatches the video and notices his foolishly large grin, he insists that you delete it 

♡ but plz don’t- he really appreciates the fact you aren’t ashamed to be dating it and you actually want to show everyone on social media that you love him

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you propped your phone up against the salt shaker on the dinner table so the camera was angled at you and tendō, then you turned to him with a mischievous grin plastered on your face which made him falter in eating his chicken nugget. 

“are you okay, babe?” he inquired through a mouthful of mcnugget as your eyes seemed fixated on him, though you weren’t doing anything besides stare. 

he was forced to swallow once the sound began and you started peppering his face with kisses to the beat, leaving him sitting like a statue in shock. the only part of his that moved was the corner of his lips twitching up to form a large grin. 

 once the sound finished, you snaked your arms under his and chest your head against his chest for a moment before grabbing your phone to watch the video, allowing tendō to peer over your shoulder and watch it too. then, he realised how insanely wide his smile was, “are you gonna post that?” 

“not if you don’t want me to.” you hummed against his chest, feeling his slender fingers slip through your hair to cradle the back of your head and hold it tight against his chest. 

“eh.” he shrugged. if you were to delete it, at least the world wouldn’t have to see him smiling like an idiot upon getting some sugar but if you were to post it, he’d be beyond flattered that you’d want to share you relationship publicly - it reassured him that you’re not embarrassed to be with him.

hajime iwaizumi

♡ while you do it, he just sits and stares at you like ◉_◉

♡ he has no idea what’s going on UIEFLAERN why are you filming while kissing him and lipsyncing to some guy with a hot accent??????

♡ bc he wants to do it back to you but he’s just frozen in shock for a moment 

♡ but if you lipsync to the words, at the ‘you set my soul on fire’ part, he’d probably make a sarcastic comment like ‘you have one of those?’

♡ anyway, for the most part, he’s paralysed 

♡ like he doesn’t want to do anything embarrassing on camera yet he’s also extremely confused so as soon as you pick up your phone and end the recording, he literally tackles you to the ground 

♡ ‘WHAT THE FUCK?! DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!! DON’T YOU DARE POST IT!’

♡ and he doesn’t just have hajime iwaizumi body btw- he’s got hajime iwaizumi (27) athletic trainer body 

♡ so don’t expect to escape his grip unless he lets you 

♡ but if you manage to get away with the video, plz don’t send it to any of his friends- they will tease him and use it as blackmail-

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you set your phone down on the coffee table then hit record, leaning back and shuffling even closer to iwaizumi on the couch. this caught his attention so his eyes momentarily shifted off the tv to look at you with a perplexed expression which became more prominent once he noticed that he was also being filmed.

“wha--” he cut himself off upon feeling your lips press against his forehead, then his cheek, then his chin; basically his whole face had felt your affection by the time the sound finished. 

he was taken aback, to say the least. the whole thing went by in a blur - a pleasant blur, but a blur none the less. he was too busy enjoying the feeling of your soft lips against his skin to realise that his resting expression looked similar to the one he wore when walked in on matsukawa and makki comparing dick sizes in the changing room.

once you pulled away and grabbed your phone to watch the video, he got the opportunity to observe the stupid look he wore and he instinctively tried to snatch the phone from your hand. This resulting in him lying on top of you on the couch, suffocating you with his cologne, trying to grab your phone but the frantic flailing of your arms posed challenge. 

“Gimme that damn phone! Don’t you dare send that to anyone! Did you see my fac--”

“Iwa, get the fuck off me!” you wheezed, your voice muffled from his beefy chest being pushed against your face.

RIP (Y/N). Cause of death: Iwaizumi Hajime’s muscles

kōtarō bokuto 

♡ whenever you start filming him, he immediately goes like :) 

♡ but then when you sit down next to him and film y’all together then he goes like :D

♡ THEN WHEN YOU START COVERING HIS FACE WITH KISSES TO A CUTE-ASS SOUND, HE’S LIKE 🥰

♡ but fr, he melts 

♡ you’re just so damn cute

♡ he doesn’t really question what you are doing, he just enjoys it

♡ he probably wraps his arms around your waist too and tries give you kisses back

♡ oh! and if you repeat what they guy in the audio says (’i love you’ & ‘you set my soul on fire.’), bokuto will say the same back 🥺

♡ pulls you onto his lap if you weren’t already sitting on him

♡ he insists that you post it, no matter how silly either of you look - he wants the world to see how in love you two are 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you plop yourself down next to him as soon as you hit record on your phone then immediately began placing kisses all over bokuto’s face and if you wasn’t grinning like an idiot before, he sure was now.

“I love you!” you tried to do the accent while desperately stifling a giggle, continuing to peck his cheek, “you set my soul of fire-”

 you were forced to pause as bokuto caught your lips in his own, pressing down on the small of your back to deepen the kiss, “i love you more, baby! you set my soul on fire too - whatever that means.” he exclaimed, all while wearing a wide, toothy grin.

once you finally pull away to grab your phone, you held it in between you and bokuto so he could watch it along with you. he bounced giddily in place, squeezing your other hand tightly, “you’re precious, (y/n).” he muttered before pumping his fists and cheering, “post it! post it! post it! post it!”

issei matsukawa 

♡ you tried this on him while he was studying chemistry and although neither of you thought much of it in the moment, he’ll never forgive you bc he ended up failing his chem test 😭

♡ anyway 

♡ he questions what you are doing at first but when he hears the sound, he realises what trend you’re doing immediately (bc i hc that he lowkey has a social media addiction)

♡ so he just sits there with this cocky ass smirk on his face while you shower him with your love

♡ not bc he’s unappreciative - like he think you’re cute as hell - but if you’re gonna post it, he wants to look cool, yk?

♡ also he wants to just keep up his nonchalant attitude towards all physical touch 

♡ yes, even sex 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you propped your phone up on the water bottle sat on his desk and stood a seat on his lap, to which he gladly welcomed as he slipped his arm around your waist to hold you in place as you straddled him.

your hands cupped his face so he looked you in the eye, hence he dropped his pencil and slammed the brakes on whatever studying he was doing as nothing was more important to him them tending to your prettyself. 

once you began pecking him along with lipsyncing along to words the guy said, he just stared at you with a smug smirk gracing his features, humming lowly in agreement whenever you’d say anything. of course, he ensured that his head was angled in a way that the camera got the holy sight of his sharp jawline. 

his gazed at you though hooded lips, staying frozen in place until your eventually picked up your phone, swiftly deleting the video with a pouty expression. “hey- whatcha going? why ya deleting it? did you see my jaw?” he asked, clearly offended.

“you’re so boring, issei.” you whined, trying to conceal the fact your pout was slowly becoming a smile. “You were supposed to rail me, that’s the whole point of the trend.” you joked, not expecting for matsukawa’s hand to immediately latch onto your throat, “hah, well, you could’ve just asked nicely, doll.”

shōhei fukunaga 

♡ he kinda just chuckles at first 

♡ but as you continue, he’ll jerk his head around with his lips pursed to try capture your lips with his

♡ he’s honestly not sure what he’s supposed to do so please guide him 

♡ i’d say he seems like the sorta guy to hate being filmed but post-timeskip, he’s a comedian so he’d probably try put on a show for the camera 

♡ maybe subtly massage the back of your head, perhaps he’ll bite his bottom and give you ✨the look✨, or he’ll hold your jaw and longingly gaze at you- who knows?

♡ anything to keep you entertained （づ￣3￣）づ╭❤～

♡ WRUGETG BUT WHATEVER HE DOES, HE’S GONNA CRINGE IMMEDIATELY AFTER AND REGRET IT ><

♡ like you’ll try show him the video but he just turns away and covers his eyes like 😑 ‘no i don’t want to see’

♡ if you try post it though he will go feral

♡ probably tickles you, snatches your phone then deletes it 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you clutched you phone as you looked at fukunaga dreamily while recording yourself. the noticed your odd behaviour but once he realised you were also recording, he just thought, ‘ah, that explains it.’

but what he didn’t expect was for you pounce on him then start covering his face in kisses. at first, he crinkles his nose and chuckled but just as you were about to say the second bit of dialog, an idea hit him. so without thinking, he gripped your throat then flipped y’all over so he was now on top, then he pressed his lips against your forehead while making the ‘mwah’ sound effect.

this took you by surprise so the last frame of the video was of you looking truly shocked and him looking down on your with a suggestive smirk - which was followed up by a sweet kiss but the video cut off before that. 

you both stared at the video as it replayed, neither of you liking what you were seeing. 

fukunaga was the first one to mention it though as he scrambled off you to grab your phone, “gimme that! you’re camera makes me look so weird.” you allowed him to yank your phone from your hands as you folded your hands behind your head, “my camera. sure.”

“sh-”

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x reader #tendou x you #iwaizumi fluff #bokuto fluff #matsukawa x reader #fukunaga shohei x reader #tendou headcanon #tendou scenario #tendou fluff #bokuto x you #matsukawa imagines #bokuto x reader #haikyuu fukunaga #fukunaga headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi imagine #iwaizumi hcs #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #haikyuu tendou #hq bokuto #👾fluff

[fromparishwithlove]

Nothing But Handprints

[2,663 words, Destiel, mostly canon compliant]

A/N: Hey, hi, it’s midnight and I spent three days writing something and I actually finished it. It’s not that long, maybe 3,000 words but it’s something and I’m kinda proud of that. Ever since Supernatural ended I’ve found myself writing more and more. I’m actually working on a full fic and right now, it’s the most words I’ve ever written for one story, even though it just a shitty first draft. But before I publish that, I wanted to share something smaller, ease my way in so to speak. So this is a lot of Dean Winchester angst and a sort of continuous ‘Oh Shit’ moment in which he processes lots of memories and realises the impact Castiel had on his life, many of which are connected by the significance of the handprint. Ahhh the beloved handprint! Tbh I was kind of inspired by Jensen’s enthusiasm for bringing it back in 15x18 so you can thank him if you like this story. I think I’m going to eventually add this to Ao3 and it may get a sequel but for now, I hope you like it. Or at least don’t hate it.

Cas was gone.

Dean felt the loss as surely as if one of his lungs had been ripped out. Maybe it had. Maybe that’s why it was so fucking hard to breathe. And still he kept dragging in air, each breath a razor blade - Inhale. Exhale - forcing himself to endure the exquisite pain of survival.

Survival, he knew, was its own brand of suffering; barbed with regrets and heavy with the keen sting of memories.

Behind his eyelids bullets ripped through a dusty trenchcoat. A familiar voice admonished him; he was almost out of minutes. The cool press of fingertips brushed against his forehead. The silver streak of an angel blade caught the light. A fist collided with his jaw with a sickening crunch. A huff of involuntary laughter escaped from reluctant lips. Stubble scraped his cheek as he pulled the angel into a hug. Shades of blue crowded his vision - the garish blue of a crappy general store tabard, the endless blue of the morning sky as he wrestled his way out of his own grave, the untamed blue of angel grace, humming with raw energy. And best of all, the solemn blue of that unflinching gaze. There was a discarded cowboy hat on the backseat of the Impala. A game of Sorry pushed across a table and into his hands. A shitty four door saloon the colour of middle-aged misery.

And the brand of salvation burning on his skin - the Righteous Man, touched by an angel. The same handprint that now stained his jacket bloody.

As hard as he tried, all he could do was remember as shuddering breaths turned to wracking sobs.

*

Whatever this thing was, it had marked him. Searing it’s own handprint into the flesh of his shoulder, staking its claim.

Dean couldn’t help but feel... violated.

He looked like a walking advertisement for one of those crappy tourist spots: take nothing but photos, leave nothing but footprints but in his case it read: take nothing but liberties, leave nothing but handprints

He ran a tentative finger over the raised flesh and hissed at the contact. It felt raw, like a burn; still stinging and angry.

He glared at it, hoping the sheer force of his loathing would somehow dissolve it. But it remained, stubborn and resolute.

It looked human. That was the worst thing. To think there was something out there - something monstrous - masquerading in the body of an innocent person... And with enough power to pull him from the pit.

That thought alone was enough to chill the blood in his veins.

And what did that mean for him? He bore its signature on his skin after all. Did that mark him as it’s property?

He belonged to no man. And no monster.

He would rather spend a lifetime in Hell.

*

Getting up off the floor had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. Turning his back on the last place he’d seen Cas near impossible.

What if, by some miracle, he came back? He deserved to know Dean had waited. After all, Cas was the only one he’d ever really had any faith in.

But Dean had given up on miracles long ago.

He let his phone ring out again and again; the sound too harsh in the grief-stricken silence. What if he never answered? What if he let Sam believe he was dead? Cas too. Because in reality, he felt as good as.

*

When she saw the mark on his shoulder, her eyes widened a fraction, her mouth parting in what Dean recognised as wonder.

Dean Winchester is saved.

The words came back to him as she aligned her palm with the echo of Castiel’s, caressing the raised skin with a gentle touch.

Something about the contact made him feel nauseous. Even though they were pressed together, not a breath between their bodies, he felt as though she had dug her nails into an open wound. A shudder of revulsion ran down his spine. He suppressed the urge to shake her off, instead drawing her attention away with a searing kiss.

The feeling of unease was harder to dislodge.

The mark itself no longer bothered him; it had faded somewhat and by the time Pamela used it to make contact with Castiel it hadn’t so much as tingled. This sudden display of hostility triggered by Anna’s touch unnerved him.

Maybe it was because she was an angel. Maybe it could sense her power, reacting with whatever traces of energy Castiel had left behind.

Or maybe it was something subconscious in Dean; something he didn’t want to acknowledge - couldn’t acknowledge - for fear of what that might mean.

But he couldn’t outrun the truth.

He noticed how Castiel turned away when Anna leaned in to kiss him goodbye. Thought he saw a flicker of jealousy contort his features. But only for a split second.

And once again that involuntary feeling of distaste rose up inside him, rearing it’s head, demanding to be heard.

And this time he listened.

And this time he recognised the ceaseless lament of his guilt.

*

Every cell in his body screamed in protest as he staggered out of the bunker. Every step a monumental effort. It was as though The Empty had created a vacuum when it had taken Castiel, and now it threatened to drag him into the same darkness.

He was exhausted; more than once he had to fight the urge to lay down and never get back up. But he knew he couldn’t.

He had to get to Sam, had to confront Chuck and demand he bring Cas back. He pinned all his hopes on it. Because if Chuck - Lord God Almighty himself - couldn’t bust Cas out of The Empty, what hope did he have of doing it himself?

So he dragged himself behind the wheel of the Impala and tried to ignore how normal it felt to sit there, as if he were just heading out on another case. As if the whole world hadn’t shattered apart and been clumsily glued back together in a matter of heartbeats.

He refused to look over at the passenger seat, refused to acknowledge the empty space beside him. Castiel had occupied that space just a few hours ago.

Could that be right? Had it only been a few hours since they’d made the journey to Lebanon, their silence weighted with shared worry yet still companionable? How had he lost so much in so little time?

*

Castiel arrived in the nick of time.

Zachariah had been gearing up to do some serious damage. He might not have been able to kill Dean on account of his status as Michael’s Vessel but he could still make him suffer. And Dean knew he had riled him. But nothing, not even the threat of what was to come would induce him to say yes. Zachariah had simply given him an advantage, a roadmap of what not to do to. He wouldn’t end up a cold, callous, merciless soldier like his future self. He wouldn’t. He refused to believe there would ever come a day when he would willingly sacrifice his friends and family - his fellow comrades - no matter what Heaven or Hell put in front of him. He would rather die than live to see himself become so despicable.

“That’s pretty nice timing Cas.”

“We had an appointment.”

His answer was so matter of fact, so practical, that Dean couldn’t help the smile that broke over his face. It implied that Dean could’ve been minutes away from death or simply completing the crossword and Castiel still would’ve come for him at that exact moment. But there was something coy about the set of his features, something like amusement twitching at the corner of his mouth.

Dean was under no illusion that, somehow, Cas had sensed he was in danger and, despite his apparent ignorance, had slipped in and taken Dean while Zachariah’s back was turned. It was crafty, calculated, almost petty in its brilliance.

And now Castiel stood looking at him, ready to talk, to plan their next move, without even a hint of expectation in his gaze.

He didn’t boast or demand gratitude. He didn’t want Dean’s thanks; he just wanted to be included.

The realisation hit Dean all at once, Castiel’s own words coming back to him as he considered how the balance between them had shifted.

You don’t think you deserve to be saved.

But Cas had saved him. Had been trying to save him for a while now but Dean had just been too blind to see it. When he had freed him from Hell he had been following orders but now, he had simply taken it upon himself to remove Dean from trouble’s path.

Against all odds and the interests of Heaven, an angel had his back.

Dean took a step forward and, placing a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, he said, “Don’t ever change.”

What he meant to say was: Don’t ever change back. Don’t ever serve the interests of others when you know in you’re heart they’re wrong. Don’t ever become unreachable, unknowable. Don’t ever stop being the angel on my shoulder because without you, I’d die.

There was so much he had meant to say but the words died on his lips. He hoped that Cas understood just from the look in his eyes, the force in his tone, the significance of that hand on his shoulder.

Dean knew that he didn’t always tolerate human contact but Castiel didn’t shrug him off. He allowed Dean to grip his arm, the fabric of the trenchcoat screwed up under his fingers. For a minute Dean held on and when he finally drew away, he half expected to see the shape of his palm imprinted there, just as Castiel’s handprint adorned his own shoulder.

*

He drove on autopilot, trusting his body to react accordingly; his mind was otherwise consumed by bittersweet memories that made his throat ache and his eyes sting.

He replayed every journey they’d ever made together, nothing but open road before them and unsaid words between them.

You changed me Dean.

His tears ran hot, spilling down his cheeks and splashing into his lap.

Dean had immediately recognised the truth in Cas’ words, but they still reverberated through him like the tremors of a distant earthquake. Letting himself consider the possibility that he, an insignificant stain on the Earth’s crust, had changed Castiel, a centuries old celestial warrior, was incomprehensible.

It was like... staring into the sun.

The more he told himself not to, the more he became blinded by its glare. Dean wanted to squint whenever he looked at it, shield his eyes from its radiant sincerity.

Because he had known it this whole time. Known and never admitted it to himself.

He had witnessed firsthand Castiel’s transformation from a finely tuned, emotionless instrument to a discordant orchestra of empathy and feeling and not once had he suggested it was his own influence that had inspired such a change.

Because how could he have inspired such honesty and compassion, gentle humour and tenderness? He was stubborn and defensive, worn down by years of trauma and still so full of anger.

But he was wrong.

Of course he was wrong.

I cared about the whole world because of you.

It felt too big to accept so readily and yet... Dean remembered the first time he’d made Cas laugh, the first time he’d heard doubt creep into his voice, the first time his cheeks had flushed with embarrassment, his eyes had filled with sorrow, his shoulders had sagged with relief. He remembered it all and he remembered his own despair, his exhaustion, his cocky bravado. He had begged and reasoned and joked with reckless abandon. He had unwittingly smothered Cas with his humanity and instead of suffocating, Castiel had simply taken a deep breath, filling his lungs with every human emotion they’d ever dared to beat out of him.

*

His body felt beaten, his mind battered and broken.

Sam didn’t even have to ask as he forced himself out of the car to meet his younger brother’s eyes.

Understanding glimmered there. He might not know the details but Sam recognised the same heartsick anguish that gripped his own soul. The same bone-deep weariness that had settled over him ever since discovering Eileen was gone.

They had lost everything. Everyone.

Details would come later; coaxing out the truth one shot of whiskey at a time. Although, looking at the state of his brother, Sam wondered whether it wouldn’t take several bottles.

*

Dean took another pull on his beer.

He couldn’t understand why he’d done it. Maybe he hadn’t meant to. But sure enough it was gone. Every day the past slipped further and further away, fading as quickly as dreams but still he couldn’t help but reach for those memories.

There was barely anything left to remind him. Sam was... Well, Dean found it hard to think about Sam. And Cas... Dean hadn’t seen or heard from him in almost a year. He was starting to think Cas had removed the mark on purpose; some deluded attempt at helping Dean forget. Perhaps he thought it was a mercy.

But Dean didn’t want to forget. Not if it meant forgetting what it felt like to belong.

Once again he found himself in front of the mirror, beer on the counter, sleeve rolled up, his own hand pressed to the place where Castiel’s had once been.

He could hear Lisa moving around downstairs, glasses clinking, Ben’s laughter loud and jubilant out in the yard. He shouldn’t be here. Not again. Not today. He should be down there manning the barbecue, joking and celebrating with his family.

But he couldn’t seem to tear himself away. There was nothing to see and yet he kept on searching.

Mary had always said that angels were watching over him but his angel had abandoned him, leaving no trace behind.

Dean’s grip tightened, nails digging into his flesh. He relished the pain but it was not enough.

*

“You’ve got to bring him back.”

He’d ground out the words with deliberate force, still reluctant to admit Cas was gone, to admit that he alone couldn’t save him.

But Chuck had merely shrugged off their surrender. Apparently he was happy to simply watch them flounder. With no one left to fight for and no monsters left to fight, the brothers would be effectively made redundant. Just Sam and Dean and an eternity of suffering stretching out before them. How could that be the end?

In Dean’s opinion it was shitty, lazy writing. Surely Chuck would grow tired of their struggle soon enough and then what?

Stripping him of his power, his divinity, his immortality had been deeply satisfying. Dean relished the moment he turned his back on him, refusing to expend the effort it would take to kill him. That was, after all, not who he was. Not anymore.

For the first time in his life, he was going to carve his own path - without destiny or prophecy or some omniscient douchebag shoving him around on the chess board.

The thought terrified him. Did he even know how to live a life when his every movement wasn’t being dictated by someone else?

He supposed his first move would be the obvious one. But it was the only one he really wanted to make. With Jack taking on the role of God, his task of liberating Cas from The Empty seemed fractionally less intimidating. They would find a way.

Dean swore to himself that no matter how long it took, no matter the lengths he would have to go to, he would see Castiel again. And when he did, he intended to drag him out of the darkness and cover his soul with his handprints.

#deancas #Dean Winchester angst #spn #supernatural #destiel fic #am writing #a sort of prequel to a fix it fic tbh #15x18 #Castiel’s confession #destiel handprint #profound bond #Dean Winchester is bi #Dean Winchester #you changed me dean #spnfamiiy #lazarus rising #Castiel

[that-damn-girl]

(3) Bucky and The Bed

Completed

Chapter 2

Bucky and The Bed Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (cis)fem!reader

Words: 2800+

Summery: You and Bucky are stranded in the middle of a snowy nowhere when there is an 'electronic blackout' during your mission. With no back ups or any way to contact your team, you take refuge from the worsening weather in the only cabin you find  in miles. Not to mention, with no power, Bucky has become your personal heater and there's only one bed.

Chapter type: Lovesick Bucky, cuddling, mutual pinning.

Chapter warning: A bit paranoid reader.

A/N: Tbh, I am not proud of this chapter but I wanted to get done with this part. I am not really a tech person, nor can I form proper plots with tech stuff involved. Sorry in advance for the plot holes you find. Some inspiration is taken from movies Spy Kids 2 and Charlie's Angels. 

The hours of night soon gave way for morning to creep in. Beam by beam light poured in through the large sized windows, illuminating the room in a silver glow.

In a relaxed and peaceful moment, Bucky woke up to the sight of a goddess wrapped up in his arms. Your face was pressed against his chest, one hand gripping his sweater tightly in your fist and the other thrown loosely around his waist; legs intertwined with his in comfort.

With one arm around your back, Bucky could feel your chest rise and fall with every breath; feel every exhale of yours through the thin layers he had on.

Golden rays from the fireplace and the pale brightness from the windows in the absence of direct sunlight cast a beautiful glow on your face, a mixture of different shades dancing about. 

He could feel his heart swell with adoration just looking at you. Your lips, partly open, appeared more plump since a side of your face was cutely pressed against his body. With a slight pout and closed eyes, your face conveyed a look of pure innocence which Bucky knew he couldn't get out of his head anytime soon.

Your face was angled so that your lovely lips peered at him, seemingly begging to be sucked and licked and kissed and bitten with pure red passion. As if he hadn't wanted to do exactly that.

Closing his eyes, he gave himself a moment to calm down his racing heart. He loved the feel of you engulfed in his arms, filling a void he'd become familiar with since too long. Hard yet soft, pressed against him in the sweetest of manners  due to a girdle of trust and confidence which surrounded your friendship, keeping it tight.

Silencing his wants, he leaned down and kissed the top of your head hard and lovingly, as if convincing you that he would not act on his wanton desires and loose a friend he cherished immensely in greed for more.

You slowly stirred against him. He stilled, worried that he woke you up, but after giving out a breathy exhale you resumed your position, burying your face even further and an arm tightening around his waist. Your otherwise calm posture would have fooled him, but the secretive smile tugging at your lips gave you away. Bucky thought that his kiss wouldn't have been noticed, but the small peck to his chest, right above his heart by your lips proved him wrong.

Gracing your face with a smile which took his breath away every damn time, you said, "I could get used to this."

You had been in that state rocking between the dream world and the real word for quite some time. Loving every cursory second of it, you didn't want to wake up and get out of the cocoon of Bucky and the blankets. While you were savouring the moment, you felt softness touch your head, realising what Bucky had done. Your heart thumped hard. You couldn't have stopped from reciprocating the affection even if you wanted.

Bucky felt his heart swell once again, swearing it would fly out of his rib cage at any moment.

"Yeah?" Bucky asked tentatively. A smile formed at the corner of his lips.

"Mhmm," You started, cuddling closer to him, fastening your hold on him, "You're so warm."

"You're making me cold." You whipped your head at him, worrying you'd overstepped the borders. But one look at the mischievous look in his eyes and a sly smirk on his luscious lips told you otherwise.

"Hey," You lightly hit his arm, making him rumble with laughter.

You looked at his beautiful face, eyes crinkled and teeth bared in mirthful laughter. It was good to know that he felt light enough to crack jokes. God, you thought, if the cold wouldn't kill me, his smile definitely would.

"No, but seriously," you propped yourself up on one elbow, the other still over his waist, "Are you cold because of me?" You sounded as serious as you looked.

His general body temperature was higher than yours. After giving it a thought, it only made sense to you. You'd made him cold if he'd made you warm.

He scrunched his nose, baffled as to why you would think that, "What? No! Don't be silly."

"Okay then," You said, snuggling back with him, "Don't come complaining to me later."

Why would I? He thought. He'd promised himself that he'd run to the ends of the world if it meant keeping you warm and comfortable. With a dreamy smile on his lips, he said, "Wouldn't dream of it."

You closed your eyes, relaxing further into him, "Good, cause now you're officially my cuddle pillow."

He barked out another laugh, "Cuddle pillow, huh?" He hugged you closer, "Well, cuddle pillow at your service, ma'am."

You both chuckled. He looked down at you, that post laugh smile still gracing your face. Smiling or not, he knew he could always look at you and never get enough of it, because he could never fucking get enough of you. He'd always admire those beautiful pair of eyes and those lips he couldn't stop daydreaming about-

"Hey, Bucky," You start , that smile having fallen off your face, "I've been thinking about that white thing..."

Huh?

It took Bucky a moment to understand that you had been talking about the split halves of the white octagonal box you two had found the previous day. So occupied with thoughts of you pressed against him, Bucky had forgotten that morning what had caused all of this in the first place. He felt dumb.

Clearing his throat he said, "What about it"? Pretending as if he'd been thinking about it too, because he couldn't let one of the few people whose opinions he did care about think he was dumb - especially not you.

"When it blew up, it somehow made all electronics in its range dysfunctional."

"Yeah."

"The range can't be infinite though." You paused, waiting for his confirmation; for an indication that you made sense.

"I guess."

"We already walked for like what...10 to 15 miles?"

"Kinda, yes."

You sat up, explaining animatedly with your hands, "So if we do venture out some more, maybe we can surpass the range. If we do, we could at least communicate through our comms."

Bucky sat up too, a puzzled expression in his face, "Yeah, we can try that."

"Yeah, we can!"

One look at your excited expression and he placed a hand on your shoulder. Shaking his head, Bucky said, "No, no, no, no. Not 'we'. It's gonna be just me."

"What?"

"You shouldn't go out there."

"Excuse me?!"

Bucky huffed, "Doll, we don't know what's the radius of the range. For all we know, it could be another 20 miles. You can't walk 20 miles in this weather. But I can."

You furrowed in your eyebrows. Truth be told, you knew without proper gear - which you didn't have at the moment - you wouldn't be able to survive in the bitter cold outside, let alone trek an unknown span. Bucky, on the other hand, had the serum which made him much more resistant to the cold - frankly anything else - than you. Damn it. You didn't want to admit defeat, but you had to.

Looking everywhere but at him, you tried to come up with a reason reasonable enough so that you could accompany him too. Finding none, you shrugged, "I mean - okay." Something clicked inside you all of a sudden and you grabbed his forearm, "But if you're going on your own, what if something happens to you? I wouldn't know it. I wouldn't be able to help you."

Unveiled worry reflected in your eyes. You chewed on your bottom lip. Bucky knew you cared about him, but looking at you being anxious just for him did things to his heart.

Looking deep into your eyes, he gave a shy smile, "No, doll, I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me."

You knew Bucky facing any obstacles were highly unlikely. He'd was an ex-assassin - an expert one at that. He had amazing knife skills and was one of the greatest snipers the world had known. But he was also your friend, one you had feelings a little too deep for.

You shuffled closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder, saying in a voice softer than his heart had become, "I care about you, Bucky. I'll always worry about you."

His breath hitched. Strings tugged at his heart. Bucky didn't know why he was so surprised. He guessed it was because he wasn't used  to people outwardly showing concern for him. He didn't want to dwell on it though. Despite having known it already, it felt good hearing you voice it out loud.

He laid his head on top of your and started petting your hair. Hiding his smile, he said, "It's gonna be fine, doll. I'm gonna be fine."

As Bucky jogged through layers upon layers of snow, he could only see white sheets for as far as his vision allowed. The dark green, lushy, conical tress were the only living things by definition in sight - that too covered under silver thaw.

He could hear the crunch of ice crystals under his boots and the chilly hurried winds rush by his ear, biting mercilessly at his exposed cheeks and nose.

The air was crisp as he breathed; so sharp and freezing he felt his lungs were being punctured. Though he didn't have any trouble breathing, he didn't like the feeling one bit. He swore he could taste the difference in the air between there and New York.

The thickness of clouds prevented sunrays from falling on skin - or anywhere in sight. His surroundings were as gloomy as the sky above. The only thing which kept his heart light was the still lingering feel of your lips on his skin.

As Bucky prepared to leave, you couldn't help but fret over him. Double checking if he had his weapons on hand, though he doubted he need them, you said one could never be too cautious. You made sure he had his comm on and insisted he put on more layers than just one heavy jacket over a sweatshirt. He assured you that all the jogging that he'd do would make him warm enough to not need anymore layering.

In your anxiousness you expressed your concern over the littlest of details. In his opinion, they were unnecessary. He only needed to be careful about not losing his path and not push past his limit. He had to appreciate your presence of mind though, but that did not mean he could let you work yourself into a panic attack.

In your defence, you were worried!

How Bucky wished he could take a hold of you in a sudden moment and kiss you senseless to stop your rambling like he had seen in all those movies. He could almost picture it happening in front of him. Nevermind the fact that he knew while in the movies the couple would somehow confess their love for each other, in the reality version you would push him away and things would be awkward and your friendship would be strained. And he couldn't let that happen.

Only if he'd known how wrong he was.

Instead, Bucky chose to grab your shoulders in a sudden moment to stop your rambling, letting you calm down against him, "Doll, you worry too much."

You huffed, "Bucky..."

"I know, Y/N, but trust me, I am going to be safe. Everything's going to be alright." He assured you yet again.

When he was about to leave through the main door, you shouted, "Bucky!"

As soon as he turned around, he saw you running to him and hugging him tight, the sheer force of your body colliding into his throwing him off his feet for a second. He soon got a grip on himself and hugged you back.

You were aware you might have been over-reacting. You might have been paranoid too. But you the thought of Bucky out in the open all by himself, unsafe while you were not didn't sit well with you. He was a grown man and capable enough on his own, yet feelings or not, he was a very close friend.

For a moment Bucky thought you were on a mission to bruise his ribs when you said, "Just take care of yourself, Bucky." and put a soft lingering kiss to his cheeks.

Bucky could still feel softness of your lips on his skin. He didn't want to be out here in the cold when he could have been snuggling with you. But he had to.

He kept running for miles and miles and his body didn't even feel relatively tired. A little out of breath, yes, but not tired. He willed himself to not loose his patience and keep going on further when he heard some static in his ear. He stopped abruptly.

Pressing the communication device to his ear, he said, "Hello?" He only heard the constant buzz of static and nothing more.

Going forward a few steps, he repeated himself. A voice broke through the static, "Agent Y/N? Sergeant Barnes?" It seemed to be FRIDAY's.

Bucky couldn't believe it. Your idea had worked and he had surpassed the range!

Bucky called out with a relieved face, "Sergeant Barnes reporting. Does anybody copy?"

"Bucky!" A shriek tore out through his earpiece, disturbing his sensitive eardrums. Though extremely high pitched, he knew whose it was.

"Sam?" Bucky questioned.

"Man, what the fuck has been going on with you? You guys were supposed to report in eighteen hours earlier! I had been worried sick about you two!" Sam's clearly worried voice spoke.

"Sam, we're fine. Nobody hurt but there's a little problem." Bucky licked his bottom lip, contemplating how he'd tell him your 'little' situation.

"What problem?" Sam prompted.

Well, considering the fact that they had had fought an army of aliens, Bucky thought that this shouldn't be much surprising. Bucky told the Captain about the white octagonal box, what all had happened the previous day and the idea you put forward that morning.

Bucky heard no response. Worried he'd lost connection again, he asked, "Sam, you there?"

Sam was nothing if not flabbergasted. He didn't know how to respond to the situation. Hardly had he felt relieve over his friends beings safe when this came up. According to Bucky's calculations, that pesky little things had rendered any electronic useless within forty miles of its radius.

How the fuck was he going to get his friends out of there when he couldn't even get the quinjet near to them!

"FRIDAY," Sam started, unsure what commands to give, "Do you know what he's been talking about?"

"Sergeant Barnes seems to be talking about a transmooker." The AI replied in her nonchalant voice.

"A what?" Both Bucky and Sam shot up.

"A transmooker. It can disable networking systems and any electronic component within the range of its blast by slightly altering the magnetic field." FRIDAY informed.

"But I don't feel anything on my arm." Bucky said, now more confused than ever.

"It is not strong enough to restrict or guide your movement, Sergeant Barnes, but strong enough to hamper the electricity flow in the devices you have."

"Can you do something about it, FRIDAY? Like hack it or something?" Sam asked, overwhelmed beyond belief.

"I cannot override it, Captain. To do that, I'd have to track it first. It seems to have created a GPS blackhole. Though according to my calculations, with an error percentage of twenty percent, the effects must begin wearing down in a week or so. As soon as that happens, I can undo it's effects."

"A week?" Bucky asked, followed by a confirmation by the AI.

"Think you can hold out for a week?" Sam asked.

"We got the supplies, at least. So yeah." Bucky nodded, looking out into the distance. Details were worked upon, goodbyes were said.

A week, Bucky thought. He hadn't even spent a day with you without turning into a lovesick puppy, he wondered what the week ahead would do to him.

The divider is made by @writeyourmindaway​

Chapter 4

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[domjaehyun]

hii heEeey! <3 i'm the anon who's in love with u and ur sexy brain <33 i'm gonna panic jsksks i have a lot of things i wanna tell you and talk about that if i were to put it in one ask, it's gonna be so so long UgH😭 for now, imma store them in a folder inside my mind and try my best to not forget them bUT ANYWAY. i love the new theme!! 😻😻 and that racist bitchass is so stupid, what a waste of time and space they are!!! 😤 it was soul satisfying how you roasted them though😌 ialsomayhavefallendeeperinlovewithyouseeingyougooffonsomeonelikethatmadememalfunctionthatwasveryattractiveofyouplskissme HHHHHHHHh

okaY so i don't really believe in astrology that much, i just see it as for fun but i kinda do but don't (guess my sun lmao) and my knowledge on it is very limited and basic so reading your analysis got me giddy cause i feel like i'm learning more from you and about you ehEhEHe. now i'm curious >< i wanna know what you think of me jsksjsjs. i'm a libra sun, sagittarius moon, pisces rising, mercury in libra too, venus in virgo, and mars in capricorn. i know nothing about birth charts but tbh when i saw mine i was like uhhh :////// LMAO NAKSSKS

oh my gooood, i also have to ask you, do you know cusp signs??? part of the reason why i don't believe in astrology that much is bcs of my birth date, that sometimes it's under libra or virgo (i remember u said ur least fav air sign is libra and u don't like virgos damn i'm not winning ur heart huh😭😭😭) like for example, i'm looking at a daily horoscope and i try to find mine, and it has dates too, sometimes it'll say until sept blah blah to sept 22 for virgos so then that means i'm a libra??? since sept 23 is the start of libra is what they're saying, but other times it'll say it's until 23 for virgos so i'm not a libra but a virgo????? it's just so confusing that i feel like i don't belong JWKSKSJW but from what google said it's what they call a cusp sign, when uhh it's in the process of transitioning from one sign to another or something something i really dunno like where the hell do i even put myself in *sobs*. this time though my birth chart result said libra so lemme just roll with it ig :"))

lastly, look at this haechan vid and suffer with me ;-; https://twitter.com/odetolhc/status/1467137355953819648?t=eNf-X0ikjGz0njFmoiS6hw&s=19

omg omg omg okay here we go fjgsdkl hi my love :D (just so you're aware, i officially give you permission to send me as many asks as YOU need to get everything out that you want to say!! you're literally such a cutie and i find your excitement v endearing fdsgkjd)

thank you my love :D i'm glad you like the theme !!!!!! and also . yeah they're pathetic. it's unfortunate that people are like that but it's more unfortunate that they're allowed to interact with people ://

but DJFGSDLK THANK YOU IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT OMG tbh it always surprises me when i like. Do Things Like That, like. go off on people like i did, and then other people like. encourage it 😭😭😭 it's a little bit maddening to my libra rising AND just the general personality trait i have of . not rly acknowledging hate or doing things like that like. i was p much a "good vibes only" type of person for a whiiiile bc i didnt wanna get like . painted as Mean or whatever but now i'm like. fuck it. and ....ppl.......enjoy it........ which means i could have been doing this all along 😭 so all the times i chose "peace" I COULD HAVE BEEN GOING FOR THE JUGULAR !!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH JOY THAT WOULD BRING ME !!! *heavy sigh* anyway . yeah dfjgshdklj but i'm very happy you don't think i'm like . a bad person or anything ig !!! makes me very relieved :D

and omg my love i wish i'd . been able to answer your chart reading earlier bc i think i had more energy earlier fjdgshdjk but i will try my best regardless!!!!

NO MORE ASTROLOGY ASKS!!!

okay i'm gonna try and keep it as. concise yet informative as possible bc now im in a small time crunch w a deadline for today fgjsfdlk but here i GO

libra sun - you could either be very "mediator" / "peace maker" in behavior or could go the absolute opposite direction and play "manipulative puppet master." virtually nothing else in your chart suggests the latter, nor does anything about your demeanor, so don't worry. you might, as the peace maker, be more likely to compromise your own comfort for the sake of "keeping the peace" -- do not do that. do not do that. you deserve better than to be uncomfortable in situations because people keep disrespecting you!!! that also, quite honestly, might play a role in why you find it so attractive when i go off on people–your sun sign is the opposite of my sun sign and we are pretty contrasting in vibes fdkjgslf so it might in a way inspire you because you may think i have the voice, candor, ability/power, and freedom to stand up for myself in ways you might like to?

pisces rising - i mentioned this in another reply to an anon's chart, but you might have the habit of idealizing yourself to an extent? hiding parts of yourself you don't believe fit the image you're attempting to portray to others around you and pisces risings can be described by some people as kind of daydreamy, like a person whose head is always in the clouds !!!

libra sun AND pisces rising - these are both placements/signs that aren't always the best at speaking up for themselves, so the fact that these two work so closely in your chart might suggest that you at times might feel like a pushover in some regards and more passive where maybe you might not actually want to be.

libra mercury - mercury is the planet that kinda rules communication and libra mercuries can really go a number of ways, i think. i think more evolved libra mercuries (evolution in the sense that i am using it means the actual process of you growing up as an individual and developing and coming more into your own/finding your voice) can be excellent communicators; diplomatic and respectful, patient, well-spoken, and in a sense can be pretty good, like, flatterers ig? yeah fjgsdjlk your libra mercury could also make you an excellent communicator who doesn't exactly use your abilities for good; you might be very good at manipulation and deceptive language and behavior; be mindful of this if it concerns you!! however, i would say that unevolved libra mercuries might have a really hard time finding their voice because of their tendency to hold back slightly and compromise on expressing themselves for the "peace keeping" aspect of the situation. do not do that!!!! speak your piece!!!!!!!!

libra mercury AND libra sun - i saw a tiktok like yesterday that made such excellent sense when i actually thought about it, and it said that people whose mercury and sun placements are in the same sign (like you!!) tend to be very good at expressing themselves!! which to me makes perfect sense bc like . in keeping w the example ive used a while today, your libra sun, your core/essence/energy, is speaking one language. when it comes to expressing yourself, your libra sun is passing that to your mercury sign so it can handle the communication part; because your mercury is also in libra, this means there won't be any need to "translate" in a sense because your libra mercury speaks the exact same language as your libra sun! (fun fact: i also have my sun and mercury in the same sign dfkjsghl i am an aries sun and mercury which . might explain to some extent why being Assertive and Sticking Up For Myself feels so cathartic when i do it dfsgjfsfldj)

sagittarius moon - i mentioned this in i think another reblog, but again, sag moons are the least "fiery" of the fire signs to me!! quite honestly, they're more of an airy fire sign to me i think in that they're very free spirits and really value independence and the space to explore and have adventures and try new things!! your sag moon might make you a little surprised at times and it might have a little more fire to it than your libra sun/mercury and pisces rising might expect, but it's probably, in a way, protecting you from some sort of stressor you might not be fully cognizant of. i feel like specific triggers that might upset you most are when people are being unfair (a lot of libras have like . diplomatic, fair energy; my libra rising def plays a factor in how i handle conflict in a similar way), specifically some form of biased, if you feel as though someone just Keeps Starting Problems and therefore making your internal role of "peace maker" kick into overdrive, and from your sag moon, you might react very strongly to feeling controlled or trapped in some sense.

capricorn mars - i don't know much of Anything about capricorns but words that do come to mind are Methodical, Logical, and Driven. you might really attempt to rationalize and justify your anger and truly make sure that if you're gonna raise a fuss, it's something worth raising a fuss about !!!

capricorn mars AND libra sun/mercury - these signs could actually be pretty harmonious, i think!! libra is fair and wants to know the whole story, with an unbiased opinion, and capricorn wants to do just that; gather every bit of evidence, analyze it carefully, and then read a bitch dfgkjsdlk you might be the type of person who finds yourself compiling "receipts" against people and situations and maybe even keeping them very organized in a way that makes sense to you. think about it, in a sense, like your libra sun is the big CEO of the company that is you. your libra mercury is kind of your libra sun's right hand man in that your mercury sends out all the official emails and statements/handles the correspondence. think of your capricorn mars as, like, maybe HR...if that makes sense. when there are issues that you feel need to be handled, your capricorn mars HR department is gonna be in charge of getting all the facts and analyzing the situation and bringing said info to your libra sun, who looks over the evidence, makes a final judgment, then gives your libra mercury the go ahead to send out an official statement!! you have the potential to be a very well oiled machine when these three signs come into play with each other!!!

virgo venus - gonna be 100% real with you, my love; i do not know very much about virgo venuses but i will do my best!!!! if i'm not mistaken, virgo in venus isn't actually a super harmonious placement? venus is about peace and love and things like that, whereas virgo is typically more...logical? i would say? it's a far more grounded sign than venus would usually like to have in her orbit djsfgkld think of it kind of as venus being the happy child who just wants to daydream and have good vibes, but virgo is like . the parent who never entertains what they believe to be venus's "nonsense" and would be the type of parent to ruin venus's daydreaming and dream world; for example: the type of parent who would tell their child santa isnt real just to "be realistic" even though their child might be devastated 😭😭😭 virgos do seem as if they could be attracted to intelligence in a sense; wittiness, cleverness, etc. (this...also might play a factor in why you find it attractive when i tell people off dfjkgskdk) and might want to be in a partnership with people they believe they can stand to learn something from!! virgos may be very critical when developing affections–they might be more prone to getting "the ick" from people or just having what others may consider Very High Standards–but once they're in love, they're usually there to stay !!! virgos are very loyal lovers and can be very protective of their lover and might really like to be in a partnership where, again, they can learn from one another, but also protect each other. virgo in venus might really benefit from a more patient lover because they might initially have a hard time expressing/coming to terms with their feelings!! (me: i don't know much about this!! also me: says A Lot)

libra sun AND virgo venus - you might be kind of a serial crusher in that people catch your eye frequently, but because of your virgo venus, you might find a reason to stop liking them quickly jfgfsljgdh think, again, of virgo as a parent in a sense? and libra is the child in the grocery store asking their parent if they can get X treat and every time they ask, virgo says no quite snappily and might leave libra feeling a little stuck and frustrated, as they don't feel as if the situation is fair. this could manifest in, like, you criticizing yourself for repeatedly losing interest in people and wondering to yourself why you're "difficult to please" but i don't think there are any inherent issues with having high standards for yourself!! you might just want to make sure the standards you have are reasonable expectations for people to meet, otherwise you might not have very happy relationships!!

OKAY ummmm about cusps; i don't know !!! i think that personally i would be more inclined to go with whichever placement resonates best, which is most likely going to be your actual calculated sun sign! cusps are kinda wishy washy so i don't rly know much about them :((( i'm sorry abt that, my love!!! (also don't worry; you do not give me virgo (derogatory) vibes at all dfhglksjdf and i DO LIKE LIBRAS!!! they're just not my favorite air sign but i like . have actual reasons to like libras!!! i only placed aquarius higher on the list because....quite frankly, i am not sure why but i repeatedly find myself drawn to aquariuses, and they also seem to be drawn to me dfghjslk)

aaaand last but certainly not least: haechan is going to make me scream at the top of my lungs. he's so . he's so PRECISE like he's SO talented oHHhHhhhH my god he's so in control of himself that is insane to me im gonna scream oh my god i'm gonna cry and have a meltdown perhaps!!!!!!!

#answered #anon

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

#game of thrones #incorrect quotes #theon greyjoy #jon snow #S7 recap #jamie lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #podrick payne #brianne of tarth #ser bronn #sansa stark #arya strak #daenerys stormborn #daenerys targaryen

[amphii-writes]

Haikyuu boys as songs on my spotify playlists P. 5, (Other characters + girls)

Warning, songs contain talk about: violence, sex and drugs.

Yuji Terushima: Pussy Talk by City Girls (feat. Doja Cat)

You know damn well that Terushima-san is a fuckboy, not saying that's immediately horrible i'm just stating facts. He might look like he gets bitches but he's for sure a virgin. He likes any song that gives  him confidence, so when he hears pussy talk he goes all out, i mean this grown ass man dances.

Suguru Daisho: Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

Was this one self indulgent? Yeah. Daisho-san gives me punk vibes and like,,, awooga. He for sure likes songs that get him pumped up before games and Molly is exactly the song to do that. Even with his breakup from Mika he seems to be insanely persistent and probably is one of those guys who unironically says “I still see her shadows in my room.” which pains me a bit to think about.

Kiyoomi Sakusa: Devil Town by Cavetown

Sakusa-san gives me a “divorced parents” vibe, and as someone who has divorced parents I will defend this on a hill and die for it. The song itself isn’t overwhelming, so I think he likes it because it's almost a calm pain to him. And, with my head cannon that he has divorced parents, it fits even better.

Shinsuke Kita: Saturn Suv by Fredo Disco

Sweet farmer boy needs sweet sonG- wow I haven’t expressed my love for Kita-san ever on this website and that thought physically pains me tbh. He’s so sweet, so that's why I picked this bittersweet bop for him. It’s chill and almost controlling like he is, but not a bad controlling, more of a “guys-please-my-mom-is-home” controlling. 10/10 would recommend this song.

Aran Ojiro: Washing Machine Heart by Mitsuki

You might be wondering why I picked such a song for Mr. Man himself, but hear me out: He likes sad songs. Just like I've mentioned with many other soft boys before, he enjoys listening to sad songs even when he's not sad which I respect because,,, same here dude.

ON that note, I chose the washing machine heart because of how adult it sounded. Not in the sexual sense, but just in the “grown-up heartbreak” sense.

Atsumu Miya: Asshole by Hooligan Chase

This physically pained me to find on my playlist and so I deleted it immediately after finding it. ‘Tsumu-san gives me massive cishet man energy and that isn’t exactly good to think about. He reminds me of a frat boy named Jake who’s favorite thing is to fuck the holes in the wall that he punched. Doesn’t mean I hate Atsumu-san though! Actually, I find him and his brother very relatable and enjoy how they fight because me and my siblings did that kinda thing.

Osamu Miya: Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Anyways, ‘Samu-san here gives me the energy that he binges true crime shows often with the team, ‘Tsumu probably calls Osamu a serial killer and gross and well,,, everything else you can fill in. The song itself is bitter and sarcastic, just like he can be and personally I find it super catchy (well, I enjoy all of Penelope's songs) and sad. The image of Osamu-san listening to true crime podcasts while getting stoned in his later years brings tears of joy to my face.

Rintaro Suna: As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese

A sad song for a boy who for sure has at least some sort of mental illness (I say that as someone who has mental illnesses). I believe that Suna-san has depression due to how burnt out he constantly is. As someone who again loves sad songs, I feel like he would just constantly have one on in his headphones. Give this man some therapy and a break.

Korai Hoshiumi: Verbatim by Mother Mother

Lil man really whipped out the energy when we first met him- he low-key scared me because I saw him and thought that he’d be quiet and sweet but oh boy was I wrong. I was also a little stuck on a song for him so I had to consult the Hoshiumi kinnies and they came up with Verbatim, which is on my playlist. Thank you, Hoshiumi kinnies, thank you. If you are a Hoshiumi kinnie, you are iconic and i appreciate you!

Takanobu Aone: Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Wow anyways this song makes my aone kinnie go brr. Like completely brr. Aone-san gives me a soft indie, hot cup of tea, sweaters, knitting, and baking vibes. You may see him as a scary giant but I see him as a very big polar bear who needs a hug! He probably relates to the song because of how everyone views him as the Iron Wall and not a person, just the longing to feel loved and appreciated by someone is the main reason he’d relate so much. I would also bake brownies with Aone-san any day.

Kenji Futakuchi: Hayloft by Mother Mother

Our edgy king here for sure is a bastard. He’s cocky, funny, and sly with his rude comments causing me to think of an intense song for him. Hayloft is also an absolute banger of a song, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had it be Date Tech’s theme song for the time being. I think that he’d also go to mother mother concerts and just be so confused, like if he went to an american mother mother concert he’d be looking at everyone there and just “woah” you also can’t tell me he wouldn’t want an alt S.O.

Kanji Koganegawa: Pretty Rave Girl by S3RL

Wow, me and Koganegawa-san here seem to have the exact same taste in music! When I hear pretty rave girls I go ape. I mean I shake my hands in front of my face because of the happy simulation! It’s such a cute song and the crunch is sooo perfect. I can see Koganegawa being into hyperpop and hardcore music like sewerslvt and SugarCrash! Like tendou-san and lev-san. He for sure sings the song when he gets up in the morning and blasts it in his car! The cute wholesome love song makes his heart go brr, and mine does too!

Ittetsu Takaeda: Breezeblocks by Alt-J

Man would listen to this and go full English teacher like the nerd he is, but then again I don't blame him because I honestly do too! This song was an old hyper-fixation of mine and so when I think of Takaeda, I think of Breezeblocks. All the literary devices and how the song itself is formed to create the perfect horrifying story of murder and cleaning up the crime scene all while talking about their lover is bone-chilling and I think Takaeda-san understands how messed up the song is but just really enjoys the cover that the love aspect almost is. Like when I first listened to Breezeblocks I thought it was a song about a lover leaving the singer, not the singer killing someone(possibly his lover) and covering it up all while thinking about his S.O. dark but great song, 10/10 childhood would be ruined again.

Keishin Ukai: Scotty Doesn’t Know by Lustra

Ah yes, Ukai here is punk and we all know it; and as someone who sees Ukai and gets many mixed feelings, I say we talk about highschool ukai. He mentioned that he didn’t get good grades when he was younger. Keishin-san reminds me of someone who got high instead of doing schoolwork, which like same but bro c’mon you gotta balance the zoot. Keishin-san also reminds me of a crust punk in the sense of how he acts: he’s super cool and if you're wrong he isn’t afraid to tell you you're wrong. He also gives me the vibes that he’d call out TERF’s on the streets and save girls from being harassed/assaulted. An absolute king if I say so myself.

Saeko Tanaka: Girls In Bikinis by Poppy

Ah yes, a bicon in her full beauty! Saeko for sure would be one hell of a partier and she for sure has had some drunken kisses with cute girls. And, we have to remember she is a tanaka, ryunosuke is literally her brother. Of course, simp runs in their veins, and god, what I would do for her to just give me a thumbs up or any positive affirmation. Oh and she for sure kicks TERF’s in the shins with Ukai-san. Someone get her a monster and a crown because she’s the queen :)

Akiteru Tsukishima: Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown

As Akiteru-san here has struggled with self esteem before and not wanting to let people down, I saw BWBB and instantly understood why it stands out to me so much when I think about him. The song itself is about giving into harmful stereotypes because that's how the world and people see you. Boys are often seen as people who aren’t allowed to have feelings due to toxic masculinity and I think that the reason he lied to his brother could’ve been influenced by that.

Kiyoko Shimizu: Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Sweet hibiscus tea is one hell of a song for people who don’t feel like enough, and that's exactly how Kiyoko-san feels. I can see her for sure feeling like an outsider to her own life. So many people look up to her and she doesn’t know why, her low self-esteem is something that I've come to understand after watching Haikyuu. Give her some tanaka and she’ll be fine.

Hitoka Yachi: Oblivion by Grimes

Our favorite ball of anxiety for sure is scared about walking home, she has a great reason to be anyways! What’s scarier than being kidnapped? Nothing tbh, shits horrifying (I say as someone who was indeed almost kidnapped). Yachi always thinks that the worst will happen and prepares for it, but then again I can’t blame her.

#hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #nohebi #johzenji #date tech #hq managers #hq akiteru #hq saeko #hq coaches #inarazaki

[jadedjxsung]

‘heather’ - h.h.j

i am sad and am listening to conan gray’s new album kid krow - this is inspired by ‘heather’ from that album. listen to it. it’s sad and i cry a little bit every time because i kinda relate to it too with my actual friends... anyway. this is kinda like me fictionally venting about it but through fanfic so i hope you enjoy this angst.

genre: angst, angst, angst. highschool au.

tw/cw: swearing, alcohol (kinda underage drinking? tbh i’m assuming they’re all above 18 so idk guess it depends on the laws where you live, where i am it’s 18)

pairing: hyunjin x reader i guess? kinda but also not really. you’ll see what i mean when you read the story.

just over 3k words

-

it was the third of december, a sunday, approximately 4pm. you and your best friend (whom you were definitely, absolutely not in love with) were hanging out at his house, having spent most of the day watching movies in the pillow fort you had made in his living room. your phone buzzed beside you, under the soft mink blanket.

“i gotta head home now.” you sat up, stretching, looking down at him. 

he was pouting. (god it just made him more adorable-) “come on, five more minutes?”

“i can’t jinnie, my grandparents from out of town are visiting and mum wants me there to see them.” he sighed. 

“argh, fine.” you both crawled out of the fort, and you reached the front door. opening it, a cold wind blew in. you were in a somewhat thin t-shirt. “take my sweater.” before you could even attempt to protest, he’d whipped the black sweater off and threw it at you. it landed over your head. you pulled it over your body, instantly swamped in the soft material. (it smelled just like him too, you tried to ignore the way it made your heart race.)

“thanks.” 

“you’re welcome. it looks better on you.” he grinned. you hugged briefly, and then began the walk home, head spinning as you tried to remember to breathe. after the dinner with your grandparents, you sat in your room, in his sweater, inhaling the scent and playing with the sweater paws. you fell asleep with a soft smile on your face.

-

it was the end of the winter holidays, spring rapidly approaching. school was back, and you and hyunjin were sitting in the cafeteria during lunch with your friends. it was loud, the mass of teenagers chatting loudly. you were listening to felix as he was talking about what had happened in drama, recreating the scene with jisung. you glanced at hyunjin, soft smile on his pretty face. it disappeared as he began staring, a look you’d never seen on his face before. you followed his gaze, hitching your breath at who he was (now very obviously) staring at. he was completely mesmerized.

of course it was a girl. admittedly a very beautiful one, clearly a new student. imagine, the definition of the soft girl aesthetic - perfect, slightly curled brown hair, oversized pale pink knitted sweater, half-tucked into light blue mom jeans rolled up at the ankle, white adidas finishing the look. round frame glasses, and the perfect smattering of freckles over her nose and cheekbones.

perfect, perfect, perfect. 

picture perfect.

as she walked past your table, you glanced at hyunjin. he was, as felix would say, ‘absolutely whipped’ - heart eyes, mouth slightly agape, relaxed facial expression.

you quickly exhaled. “shut your mouth before you start drooling.” you snapped.

he jolted out of his daydream at your sudden sharp tone. “shit, was i staring?”

“you’re whipped, bro.” 

“she’s sitting alone, i’ll go talk to her.” he got up quickly, moving away from your table. you observed his body language - you could imagine him giving her that charming smile, while it wasn’t as pretty has the one where his eyes crinkle up, it was still infectious and entrancing at the same time.

“sorry, y/n.” jisung murmured in your ear. though he was smiling, his eyes said otherwise. he knew how you felt about your mutual friend and was always sympathetic towards you.

“we’ll see how long this one lasts, i guess.” you shrugged. something was different about this one, you could tell. it used to be more puppy love, but this looked more like real, romantic love. and it kind of scared you a little bit.

“i’m gonna go to the library.” you got up, bag slung over one shoulder, putting on a podcast (welcome to night vale, a long time favourite of yours) as you sat down. you pulled out your english book and a sharpie, idly doodling patterns and writing down quotes as you hear them. you had a free period after lunch, so you stayed there until the end of the day, the covers of your english, history, calculus, physics, chemistry, and music book covers were completely covered in drawings, and you had little sharpie smudges all along your hands and arms.

-

things had been getting better for hyunjin (and worse for you) - he shared a few classes with the girl he learned was from england, called heather. and she was all he talked about - until she began sitting with your group during breaks. 

“hey, y/n, i know you missed english yesterday so i copied my notes for you.” she smiled, passing you a few pages of paper as everyone met at your table. even her writing was neat and tidy, everything laid out nicely. your notes were exactly the opposite of this, being an incomprehensible mess. jisung had already given you his notes, so you folded them and shoved them into your bag. more ashes for the fireplace, you supposed.

“thanks.” you forced a smile. “much appreciated.”

“no problem!” god, her smile was perfect too. perfect teeth. it made you seethe on the inside. and, she’d taken your usual spot at the edge of the table, across from hyunjin; now you sat sandwiched between jisung and felix. while their antics still made you laugh, it was getting harder to pretend to smile at hyunjin and heather. picture perfect heather. she was everything you were not - twice as pretty as you, and kind too. it just made you more bitter.

you sighed, relieved when the bell rang to indicate the end of lunch - and you were the fastest to leave, too. music went by faster than usual, as you were practicing for your solo pieces. as you were leaving, you saw hyunjin walking by himself.

this was a rare opportunity, and so you seized it.

“hey, jinnie. movie night at mine?”

he shook his head. “sorry y/n, i’m busy. heather and i are gonna be going to...” as soon as he shook his head you sighed, regretting asking. you didn’t bother to listen to his short spiel.

“that’s okay.”

“what about next wednesday? we can hang out at mine?”

“yeah, sure!” it was the first thing that had you looking forward to being around hyunjin in a while.

-

the next day, you didn’t see hyunjin or heather until lunch. you nearly turned on your heel and walked out.

heather was wearing one of hyunjin’s sweaters - of course it wasn’t just any old sweater either. one of his favourites, a bright yellow one that you had bought for him about a year ago. of course he would give her that one. fucking typical.

you breathed in and out a few times to try and calm yourself down. at least it’s polyester, right? not like the woolen one he gave you.

your breathing didn’t really work - you sat down, (accidentally) slamming your drink bottle on the table.

“you good?” jisung asked gently. you shook your head slightly. “do you want to go outside?”

“please.” you both got up, exiting the cafeteria with your bags. it was cool outside, and overcast. you both walked across the field, sitting at a picnic table.

“what’s happened?”

“she’s wearing the sweater i bought for him, like, a year ago.”

his expression softened. “oh...”

“yeah. god- i just- i...” you buried your face in your cold hands. silently, jisung hugged you as you began to cry.

“i can try talking to him if you want.”

“i-it’s okay, there’s probably no point.”

“you never know, i’ll ask him about the sweater for you.”

“much appreciated.” you sighed. you two stayed in that position for some time. he looked up, behind you, seeing felix approaching.

“felix is coming over, is that cool?”

“yeah, yeah.”

“hey, uhh, i wanted to see if y/n was okay.” he sat down at the table, across from you both.

“i’m not, but thanks for showing concern, lix.”

“can i ask why?”

you sighed. “long story short, i have liked hyunjin for years and he’s basically in love with heather and she’s currently wearing the sweater i bought him a year ago.”

“yikes.”

“mhm...” you sat slumped for several minutes. for the rest of lunch, jisung and felix sat with you. while they still cracked jokes here and there, it was strange for them to be as quiet as they were.

-

you felt a little better now that felix and jisung both made the extra effort to try and cheer you up. hangout sessions with them both were quite common - though today it was wednesday and you were looking forward to hanging out with hyunjin. just you two. no perfect heathers to distract your best friend. 

waiting outside the main building for him, you saw him and walked over. “oh, hey y/n!” he smiled at you. the eye crunch one. your heart instantly a puddle on the ground.

“hey, hyunjin.” you began walking to his place, and it was just like old times - plenty of teasing and hyunjin being overdramatic while you rolled your eyes at his antics. all was well and you felt the happiest you’d been in some time. 

all was well.

two minutes past seven, you and hyunjin were in his room, doing your own thing, occasionally showing each other memes or tiktoks. a knock on the door caused you to flinch slightly. of course, being his bestfriend of several years meant that you had been interrupted by both of his parents knocking on the door numerous times; this was an unfamiliar knock.

and who comes into the room, but perfect heather. with her perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect handwriting, perfect everything. 

“oh, hi y/n! sorry to interrupt, i’m happy to leave-” 

“it’s fine, see-”

“no, no, no, you can stay if you’d like.” hyunjin beamed.

“are you sure? i wouldn’t want to impose.”

“it’s fine.” you got up, walking towards the door, glaring at hyunjin. “i was just about to leave.” as the weight of your schoolbag met your shoulder, you shut the door. firmly. god, how you wanted to hit him sometimes. 

-

a week and a few days later, and here you are at 1am on a saturday morning, dissociating at a party, hosted by jisung’s friend chan. you’re sitting on an armchair in the corner, with chan’s dog sitting by your feet, head on your lap while you gently patted it and scratched behind it’s ears. it was loud, and not your scene, and you hate it, but someone had to look out for slightly intoxicated jisung and felix and you didn’t like the idea of them doing something stupid (which was a very likely thing to occur if you weren’t there to supervise them). 

your charges are sitting on a couch with changbin, not too far from where you were, only two or so metres away. on another couch, hyunjin and perfect heather, as well as minho and another dude they were friends with that you recognised from class but didn’t know the name of. (jeongoon? no, jeongin.)

you shift your gaze from jeongin (jeongoon??) to hyunjin and heather. he has one arm around her shoulder. almost like phantom pain, you shiver, suddenly feeling cold. he used to do that with you. emphasis on used to.

you sit, patting chan’s dog (whose eyes are drooping, you feel exactly the same), wallowing in your bitterness. it makes you sad. in any other circumstance, you’d probably be good friends with her. she’s the definition of an angel, yet something about her makes you tick. she’s such an angel but you dislike her. immensely. not hate. it was a shame, really.

it is also a shame that with the blue and red lighting, it falls perfectly on hyunjin’s features, making him seem more ethereal. oh, how you wish you were in heather’s position. if you were in her place, you would’ve kissed him, right there. (after years of nearly doing it but stopping at the last second before he noticed and anything happened.) he’s three metres away from you, but you can picture his face close-up. he’d look so much better up close. how you wish you were heather. 

gently lifting the dog’s head from your lap (quietly apologising to it too), you stand in front of jisung and felix. 

“i’m leaving. don’t die. text me when you get home.”

jisung pouts. “aww, do you have to leave?”

“i’m not really having fun, there’s no point in me being here.” jisung stood up quickly, clinging to your shoulder as he sways slightly.

“i’ll walk you home, it’s dangerous out there, y/n. big scary spiders and shit.” his eyes are glassy and wide.

“no. no, you stay here, ji, have fun. i’ll be fine.” you force a smile for the boy clinging to you, not unlike a koala. 

“but what if like- a huge fuckin’ spider eats you?! what would i do without my y/n?” 

you chuckle at his antics. “you’re probably more likely to get me eaten by a big spider than to protect me from one, you idiot.” 

a new voice caused you to tense up a little bit. “i’ll walk them home, you stay here jisung.” 

the dark haired boy loosens his grip. “okay, if hyunjin’s walking you home that’s fine. but you should definitely not tell him anything y/n.” he sat back down again, almost like nothing had happened. hyunjin follows you out of chan’s place, nearly losing you a few times as you quickly picked your way through the crowd. 

you stand on the footpath outside as he approaches you. silently, you walk together for about five minutes, both lost in your own thoughts.

“i feel like we hardly talk anymore, y/n.”

you huff, shoving your hands further into your jacket pockets. “i wonder why.”

“well, why?” he ignores your sarcasm.

“heather.”

“what about her?”

your feet stop. you exhale sharply. this had been going on for long enough, and internally apologise to jisung for doing the exact opposite of what he told you to do. 

“you want to know? fine, i’ll tell you. i have been in love with you for years but have been too afraid to say it, when you had these little crushes on others and always having these short little flings with them but it didn’t matter because you always came back to me. then perfect heather turns up and you very obviously fall in love with her which is fair enough, and i feel horrible because she’s so perfect and lovely but i can’t help but despise her because she’s the one you love, not me. and it breaks my heart because you’re both so nice and she doesn’t deserve me being an asshole to her like this but i can’t help it, her perfection just irritates me in ways that i can’t describe. 

it’s like you replaced me, but with the perfect girl that you fell in love with while i sit in the corner, upset and bitter, because i am ultimately a coward who doesn’t know how to confess to their best friend. also, you gave her the sweater i bought you, the yellow one, but clearly don’t remember that because i’m just not that important to you anymore. everything is heather, heather, heather, with you and regardless of the romantic feelings, i miss you and want to know what happened to my best friend.” 

your heavy breathing after your rant filled the silence. 

“y/n i...”

“look, you don’t have to respond. i just needed you to hear that. i’m tired of trying to hide how i feel.” you turn on you heel and began walking quickly - your house was only a block away. curse hyunjin and his long legs.

“look, i’m sorry, y/n. i am so sorry that you feel like that. i’m sorry that i became so focused on one person. i’m sorry i can’t return your feelings, but i still love you as a friend. can we still be friends?”

you stop again, keeping your gaze towards the ground. “i don’t know if i can ever see you as just a friend.”

“so... no?”

you breathe in. “no, hyunjin. we can’t be friends.” you look up at him. you’d never seen him look this broken, this tormented, and it was because of you. you hold your arms out, and he falls into your embrace. you can tell by the way he’s breathing and the quiet sniffles that he’s crying on your shoulder.

-

it is the 3rd of march, a saturday at approximately 2am. you and your former best friend (who you are very much in love with) are embracing for the last time in the middle of the street, almost but not quite outside your house. your phone buzzes in your jacket pocket, repeatedly. 

“you better pick that up.” hyunjin said softly, pulling away from you, forcing a smile. it makes your heart twinge at the sight. nothing like the radiant ones you are used to, that you might never get to see up close again.

you sigh when you saw the caller id, answering anyway. “jisung, what?”

“you should be home by now y/n. are you safe? did you tell hyunjin anything? i hope he protected you from big spiders and shit.” he was slurring his words a little bit - clearly he’d had a bit more to drink since you’d left.

“i’m almost home, ji. he protected me from all the spiders.” 

“okay well, that’s good. i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“yep. stay safe.” you hang up and sigh, looking back at hyunjin. “look after him and felix for me, please.”

“i will.”

“thank you, hyunjin. you’re a wonderful person.” you begin to walk down the street, looking back when you reach your front door. you glance back, and see his dark figure, slowly walking down the street. you slip in your house quietly, and manage to hold your tears in until you reach your room. you sit on your bed, in his sweater, crying into the sweater paws. eventually, sleep takes over your body, your face sticky with tears.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #hwang hyunjin #stray kids scenarios #hyunjin #skz hyunjin #skz #stray kids crack

[madmadmilk]

girl will u be sharing the whole meeting tom experience like what did he say what did he smell like i know very creepy but IM SO CURIOUS HDHDHDH

OKAY, STORY-TIME ––> long read with reaction pics

first thing, WOW. he had a crazy, crazy, crazy long-ass schedule. he was in LA saturday, and philly on sunday by 9 AM? probably? then i knew his projected schedule was panel from 10-10:45, 11pm photo op, 1 pm autograph, 3 pm photo op, 4 pm autograph. totally stacked! i signed up for the photos at 3 cos that’s easier for me….

little did i know… how long it would take……………….…

so, his whole schedule got pushed like an hour-ish back? like no real consequence to me, but it made me feel really anxious and just like, whew, thinking that he kept a smile on for like hours & hours. and all i could think of was that i hope he had like an iced coffee or like food or something cos that’s CRAZY. but yeah–––– i got to pass the time with some tumblr friends :) ( @spidey-waffles11 & @seamless-hart ) and my boyfriend but he’s whatever 😛

but OK time rolls up (4:50 PM), i get in line–– and i’m there for SO LONG. but it was ok cos i was talking to this dad & daughter and they were really nice. there were some like super  young girls behind me and they had like cute matching spider-man shirts but i was still looking at them like 🙂 . a part of me felt really extra cos i was really out there with false lashes and a BRIGHT RED dress. for reference, i looked like this:

cute, i know. this is my armor, and even tho a part of me felt kinda flashy and garrish…. i don’t care! it makes me feel CONFIDENT! but yeah–– do, do, do~ we get through the line, drop off our bags and i feel like we went through a mini-maze of black curtains and then––

HE WAS FUCKING RIGHT THERE THROUGH THE OPEN DOORWAY! i like turned the corner, and was kinda looking to my side at the lady directing and then to the family in front of me–– and then he was there. idk what i expected but i was just like 😦

ok, ok, ok so i think maybe he was looking up to see how many people were next but i’m going to just sit here and believe that MY RED-ASS DRESS caught his eye cos he literally:

looked at ME, then to the family in front of me as they came to him, but back at me as i walked over to wait. he raised his eyebrows and i smiled back and like, i think he looked at my hand cos i was like holding my wrist cos i was like, “oohhhh shit how the fuck do i stand like a regular person” but yeah either way it was like a back and forth–– that i’m probably romanticizing ALL HELL out of. but i was watching him so-– I SAW WHAT I SAW lol. 

and then the family left and i still waited cos i’m polite like that and then he like waved his arm for me to come over and i was like 😧. then i think i literally hopped over and like rolled my shoulders back cos yeah and i smiled soooo hard and i think all i managed to say was , “heeey” 

“hi! hello––” he waves me over again and i slide next to him while laughing. 

i’m pretty sure i bit my fucking lip and like... no, no one does that in real life. god dammit.

“how are you?” i TRY to ask in a exasperated voice

and i think he just said, “yeah” (cos we were moving really fast it’s ok) and looked forward lmao

but i like was able to look at his face and i was literally like 😫 . what bb cream are you using sis???? it was too fast, i didn’t really absorb anything haha. but wow his lips really look like that i guess haha and i really fit into his side, like alright bro. this is where i belong i guess.

and cos of the time crunch of being super, super late i didn’t really get to talk to him cos it was just like photo time. i didn’t have a pose in mind, i just wanted to be WITH him that’s it.

so i put my hand around his waist and wow he’s lean! and he carries himself super tall, if that makes sense. he stands up pretty straight? but relaxed at the same time? and i think his hand was like on my upper back, near my shoulder but TBH i don’t KNOW. i just felt him press next to me. 

uh, everyone keeps asking me what he smells like but i’m pretty sure i didn’t breathe until he let go. and then i was like, “ ah, soap. “

but after the flash of the photo i like turned to him and jfc i was really close. i’m kinda used to standing that close cos my bf is that height but 😬 . he smiled at me and just quickly said.

“hi, thank you so much for coming out.” 

and i was like, “no, thank you!” and he kinda guided my back to the direction of the exit and i was like 😣 and i think???? i called back to say, “take care!” but maybe that was just my brain idk

but then?????? he walked next to me for a second? like we walked to the exit together and i was like??????? like there people in the corner i was passing, and he stopped by them. i looked at him again and he smiled and nodded at me.

this was me: 👀

hahahah and then he grabbed a water bottle someone offered to him and i heard him say,

“can you get my bag..? and grab my air pods”

and i like audibly laughed as i left, idk why that was just so funny to me. like there you go rich king. good! for! you!

and WOW. the family from before waited for me and they were like, “how was it?”

hahah and it was so lame cos i was suddenly BLUSHING so fucking hard like 30 seconds after it all happened hahahahahahahah ok but i couldn’t stop thinking about how he like looked at me in the doorway, and even if it doesn’t mean anything imma never let it go hahaha

anyway, he was really nice and his voice was still so excited and lively even tho he’s probably talked to like thousands of people that day. like his charisma was super charming in all of the 20 seconds i really saw him.

lol this is how the photo turned out:

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? i’m really haaaaappy with it! i’m kinda smiling too hard but lol THAT’S TOM FUCKING HOLLAND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

so ya know, idk if i’ll ever see him like ever again? or if i’ll still always be into him as i have been but–– wow. what an experience to have with the way i am now. hope he’s getting a good night’s rest, and lots of warm hugs from his loved ones! thanks tom! thanks keystone comic con! and thank YOU GUYS for holding me together! 💛

#Anonymous #lmao i'm so annoying #but this most of everything that was going through my mind haha #tom holland #keystone comic con #mad meets #madmadmilk #personal #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #but this is REAL #madmadthirst #idk what else to tag this but yeah

[neopuff]

OKAY I’ve finished Love Death & Robots, so here’s my short review/summary of each one where I also rate them on accuracy to the show’s title:

"Sonnie's Edge" - excessively violent. setting is neat. animation was cool but watching a lesbian get stabbed and then get her head stomped on repeatedly isn’t fun.

Love Rating 2/10 (there were tits and make outs) 

Death Rating 10/10 (plenty of on-screen and an off-screen death) 

Robot Rating 8/10 (there was robotic tech but this felt more like futuristic monsters than robots...)

Overall I give it a 4/10

"Three Robots" - really fun! it was funny and charming and cute. animation is nice. Josh Brener and Chris Parnell do some voices...yeah. it was fun!

Love Rating 0/10 (no sex? no romance? alright) 

Death Rating 7/10 (no death but lots of skeletons) 

Robot Rating 15/10 (robots!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Overall I give it a 9/10, would watch again

"The Witness" - this one is really cool. like, i dont know...its cool, i enjoyed it a lot. the animation is amazing i LOVE the style and the character designs were nice.

Love Rating 8/10 (lots of sex and idk. erotic dancing. lots of tits and bush) 

Death Rating 8/10 (yeah. well. yea? not gory but it was there and it happened) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (i recall no robots)

Overall I give it an 8/10 only because there were no robots

"Suits" - a LOT better than i expected! animation was cool, story was interesting, characters were lovable. i highly recommend this ep though it is sad its very good.

Love Rating 10/10 (many emotions. no tits and no sex but much love) 

Death Rating 10/10 (a good emotional onscreen death. quality storytelling style) 

Robot Rating 10/10 (lots of robots!)

Overall I give it a 10/10 but its still not my #1 favorite it just gives you everything the show title says it will

"Sucker of Souls" - ehhh. like the animation was really cool and the cat stuff was funny but overall its just pretty boring? character designs uninteresting story is blaaahhh. best part is Gary but she doesnt make up for how boring the rest is. 

Love Rating 0/10 (some cats fuck at one point but thats it) 

Death Rating 12/10 (everybody dies)

Robot Rating 0/10 (were there robots???? there were draculas. so many draculas)

Overall I give it a 2/10 but really its just boring

"When the Yogurt Took Over" - this one is fun. i mean, its only 6 minutes long and it was funny and entertaining and the art style is neat so yeah id recommend it to anyone.

Love Rating 0/10 (i recall no love) 

Death Rating ?/10 (genuinely cant remember if anyone dies but the economy collapses so thats significant) 

Robot Rating ?/10 (i think the yogurt was mutated rather than filled with nanobots soooo...no robots? idk)

Overall I give it a 7/10 cuz it was fun

"Beyond the Aquila Rift" - too confusing to be good and yet also somehow pretty good? animation was nice and pretty. greta is hot. but i dont know, something about it felt like....lazy. the story was lazy.

Love Rating 8/10 (we get tits and sex right on screen) 

Death Rating 0/10 (i dont think anyone dies?) 

Robot Rating ??/10 (really hard to say. very matrix-y story so whats a robot? whats not? who knows bitch)

Overall I give it a 5/10

"Good Hunting" - :( this one is really sad and violent. theres a lot of tits including i believe on a very young character??? but it wasnt in a sexual context but still kind of uncomfortable. anyway the story is interesting and good but mostly just REALLY sad. theres a scene where you watch a guy saw off a girl’s legs while she screams and even tho it only lasts a brief moment it really gets to you.

Love Rating 10/10 (i know liang and yan dont actually get together but their relationship was really good) 

Death Rating 10/10 (plenty of death, thats for sure) 

Robot Rating 9/10 (yea! robots! but in a sad way)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because the story is interesting but the girl character just goes through every possible kind of torment and even if things end up alright it still hurts to watch

"The Dump" - i just didn’t really like this one. it was sad and kinda gross and didnt really give me anything to work with. the animation was cool at least.

Love Rating 1/10 (man and pet love? idk) 

Death Rating 9/10 (two deaths at least, and one implied animal death? or we see a dead dog? or something? i dont remember) 

Robot Rating ???/10 (i mean...is otto a robot? i dont think so??? i dont know)

Overall I give it a 3/10 cuz i didnt like it at all

“Shape-Shifters” - yeah this one should not have been boring but it was. the characters were fine but i feel like US Army stuff just makes my brain turn off (then again, i do love gi joe, so who knows). anyway the werewolf soldier concept i guess could be interesting but, again, it just wasn’t. it sure was sad though.

Love Rating 8/10 (those werewolf soldier boys were kind of, like, pals) 

Death Rating 10/10 (lots of death, for suresies) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (werewolves are not robots)

Overall I give it a 6/10

"Helping Hand" - so, like, this one is super boring unless you like watching someone floating in space and then ripping their own arm off with realistic crunches and screams. the girl was cute at least.

Love Rating 0/10 (she sure didnt love her arm) 

Death Rating 0/10 (she didnt die, so) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (no robots!!!!)

Overall I give it a 4/10 cuz the animation is cool and the girls design is good but it had none of what the show title promises

“Fish Night" - this one was cool but weird. Yuri Lowenthal plays a guy who gets eaten by an astral space shark. so i guess theres some anti-shark propaganda but it sure LOOKED cool.

Love Rating 0/10 (i guess old guy and young guy were close but not close enough for me to care) 

Death Rating 10/10 (yea) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (i mean...there was really cool astral space ocean thing whatever but it wasnt robots)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because i liked it a lot

"Lucky 13" - i wanted to like this one cuz of Samira Wiley but it just wasnt very interesting. it had potential but tbh it just wasnt memorable? i remember how it started and how it ended but nothing in the middle which isnt a good sign.

Love Rating 2/10 (cuz she loves that ship? i guess) 

Death Rating 9/10 (yeah. i mean, yeah) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (i could be remembering wrong but i have no memory of any robots)

Overall I give it a 5/10

"Zima Blue" - FAAAAAAVE! FAVE FAVE FAVORITE!!!! i fucking LOVE this one i watched it twice cuz i loved it a lot. really really great and it was done in the style of Motorcity/Tron: Uprising which made it even better. a really cool story and just fun to watch and interesting and charming. really really enjoyed it.

Love Rating 10/10 (a love for ART!) 

Death Rating 10/10 (two deaths and one was on screen and very sad but non-violent) 

Robot Rating 10/10 (yeah!!!!!!)

Overall I give it an 11/10 because i love it and want everyone to see it tbh

"Blindspot" - zzzzzzzzzzz. i mean ok it wasnt terrible but it just wasnt interesting. girl robot’s design is cute at least.

Love Rating 0/10 (some sex jokes but thats it) 

Death Rating 9/10 (fake deaths) 

Robot Rating 11/10 (yea its 100% robots)

Overall I give it a 3/10 cuz i was bored

"Ice Age" - this one is really funny and charming BUT the animation is almost...TOO realistic? uncanny valley or something. it looked like live action and it was a little weird but its fine cuz it was really really really good and just fun to watch. funny/charming/cute you name it!

Love Rating 7/10 (main couple seems to be in love or whatever but its not relevant to the story) 

Death Rating 10/10 (an entire civilization dies and starts over again, so) 

Robot Rating 8/10 (i mean...at the end of the civilization there was something robotic going on or something idk it was cool looking)

Overall I give it an 8/10 cuz i just really liked it a lot

"Alternate Histories" - this one is funny!! nothing really special just a bunch of funny shorts about how hitler sucks. a lot of these movies went for a hyper realistic animation style so this one is a nice change of pace.

Love Rating 1/10 (one of the shorts has a lot of fucking but that one was just kind of uncomfortable) 

Death Rating 10/10 (how many times can you watch hitler die? a whole bunch) 

Robot Rating 4/10 (future hitler appears in a robot suit at the end, so, like, i guess?)

Overall I give it a 7/10 cuz it was funny

"The Secret War" - okay so initially this one was super boring to me but it REALLY kicked it up a notch towards the end. i ended up rewatching it because i wanted to fully take in everything before it got good and yeah i liked it a lot. 

Love Rating 8/10 (family love no sex no titties no romance) 

Death Rating 16/10 (yeah. its a lot of limbs being ripped off and a guy shoots himself in the head) 

Robot Rating 0/10 (there were monsters and airplanes but no robots that i can recall?)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because there were no robots

#love death and robots #love death & robots #carro watches #obviously these are not spoiler free if u havent seen em yet but also the shows been out for a while #almost a year i think #long post

[jwnbwnjwn]

Entry 8 (12.20.2020)

 Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well). 

I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick. 

I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.

Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM

-jen