#i mean I’m not even surprised this guy also thought that ��angsty’ Harry in book 5 is ‘annoying as fuck’ when

[padfootswhiskers]

made the mistake of listening to an hp podcast. mfs really be thinking lupin was a better father figure to harry than sirius. im out

#this guy really said I don’t get why people love sirius #or why Harry does tbh #because lupin did so much more for him #like my bro what are you smoking #im so upset it’s irrational SIRIUS DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER #i mean I’m not even surprised this guy also thought that ‘angsty’ Harry in book 5 is ‘annoying as fuck’ when #you know his um. only remaining family fucking died. #but alright you absolute asshole. let’s expect a fifteen year old kid to be absolutely ok with that #FUCK. im pissed #sirius black

[softrenjunnie]

the battle of hogwarts l pj

pairing: reader x jay

characters: boyfriend!jay, friend!jake, brother!sunghoon, chosen one!heeseung, death eaters, voldemort, other small characters

genre: hogwarts!au, angsty angst (maybe a little speck of fluff somewhere? but i wouldn’t bet on it)

word count: 4.1k

warnings: mentions of blood, wounds, pain, death, torture and broken bones; swear words; character death.

note: spoilers !!!! i reference/talk about a lot of the stuff that happens in the battle of hogwarts, aka spoilers from the “harry potter and the deathly hallows” book (and movies), but i mean it’s a different story so it’s not super spoilery? note that heeseung plays the part of harry potter here !!!! also, the ending is rlly bad and weird (just like many parts of this oop-) but also pretty open so i guess there could be a pt 2? if i ever get the inspiration to write it heh

“stupefy!”

you heard the voice from behind you and managed to leap to your side to avoid the spell just in time, letting the red light instead hit the wall in front of you. you turned around, and instantly noticed the death eater who was standing many meters away, his wand by his head and ready to strike. “petrificus totalus!”

“protego!”

the beams shooting from his wand met the shield yours had produced, blocking it and letting its light die out. closing the distance between you, he lunged forwards and kept casting a variety of spells, which you, with great difficulty, blocked. you couldn’t hold your protection much longer, it was getting too tough - so instead, you turned around and made a run for it. a green beam of light missed your head by only a few centimeters, as you turned around a corner and kept running. you knew he was following you, and you knew you couldn’t keep this up; just as he rounded the corner, you pointed your wand to the roof above of him. “bombarda maxima!” you tried your best to keep your voice as steady and strong as possible, despite your wild nerves. the spell worked; soon, the death eater lay buried underneath the heavy stones that had just fallen.

you let out a sigh as you determined that he wasn’t going to rise, but you remembered to not let down your guard. there were perhaps hundreds of others inside and around the castle, and you knew from this little incident that they weren’t afraid to attack. so as you ran ahead, on towards the great hall where you hoped to find the people you were looking for, it was with your wand raised high and your eyes listening for every small sound in your vicinity.

you had been taken aback at first when that death eater had arrived; you hadn’t expected to meet anyone the moment you stepped out of the room of requirement. you thought everyone ought to be in the great hall, or perhaps outside of the castle - not lurking around on the top floors of the building. but none of that was what was going through your mind at the moment. you were focused on finding-

“jake, watch out!” you could recognize his voice from miles away, and especially when he was calling out for his best friend, but you don’t think you’ve ever heard such desperation in his voice ever before. at the end of the hallway, you spotted him - jay’s wand was shooting rays of all colors as he leaped forward, shooting down the woman in black, long robes who had just a second ago had a good grip around jake’s neck. she lay still on the floor, and for a few moments the boys stand as if frozen, until jake crouches down next to her and declares that she’s still alive, just fainted, to which both boys seem to calm down for a second. that is, until a scream is heard from a bit away, and the both of them run to where it came from, out of sight from you.

you were surprised that you had stopped in your tracks to watch the scene ahead of you, and you shake yourself before starting to run forwards again. reaching the end of the hallway, you turn to the way jay and jake had just gone. through the big entrance to the great hall, your eyes scanned over your two friends who were helping a ravenclaw girl, who you recognized to have been in your charms last year, fight off two death eaters. sprinting towards them, you watched as the girl, who you now remembered is called yewon, got hit by a spell right in the stomach, launching her into the wall behind her with great force.

as the wizard cheered his own accomplishment and was left unfocused on the other students, jake used the opportunity to strike. “expelliarmus!” he yelled, and the death eater’s wand flew out of his grip and onto the floor, close to where jay was currently standing, fighting the other death eater. as jake stunned the wandless wizard, jay did something he shouldn’t have - he bowed down to pick up the wand from the floor, but in that exact moment, the witch in front of him aimed towards him and was surely about to jinx him-

“levicorpus!” you yelled with all your might, now only standing a few meters away from them both, and the witch too dropped her wand, now hanging in the air upside down. 

jay turned his head to where your voice had come from, and his jaw dropped once he saw your face. “y/n?!”

“petrificus totalus.” the witch now dropped down onto the floor, head first, and you almost felt bad for her for a moment before you started thinking about what she could’ve done to jay if you hadn’t jumped in.

“what are you doing here?” jay exclaimed, coming closer to you. “are you completely crazy?”

“a small 'thanks' would’ve been nice,” you scoffed, and before he had the opportunity to say anything else, you turned your head to where your former classmate had crashed into the wall, and spoke again. “yewon? are you still there?”

you didn’t hear an answer, and you ran over to where you suspected she was - and she was right by the wall, lying on the floor and sobbing as she held an arm to her chest.

“hey, are you alright?” you crouched down next to her, placing a hand on her trembling shoulder.

“my arm...” she managed to get out in-between sobs. “it hurts...”

when you looked at it, it wasn’t bleeding nor did it have any visible curses on the skin. you turned your head around to jake, who was now standing behind you. “do you think it’s broken?”

“likely. with that force, i’m surprised more isn’t,” he said, and you nodded agreeingly, pulling out your wand and tapping it to her forearm.

“brackium emendo.”

yewon gave out another cry, but this time it wasn't out of pain. “thank you! thank you so much-”

“y/n,” you heard jay’s stern voice from behind you and you turned around once again. his arms were crossed over his chest, and if you had been anyone else, you likely would’ve crumbled under his gaze. but you couldn’t, not now, there were much more important things to do, people were still screaming on the other side of the castle walls and- “please, can’t we talk?”

you stood up, dusting off your knees with your hands before speaking to jake. “make sure she’s okay, please? and pick up that witch’s wand from the floor, and make sure neither of the death eaters get up.” jake nodded at you, flashing you a small smile, before you walked over to where jay was now standing, two tables away from the others.

the great hall was completely empty now, except for the four of you and the two stunned death eaters, and the atmosphere was almost tranquil, even though there was a full-on war going on just a small distance away.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, the desperation clear in his voice. “i thought they made it clear that-”

“i didn’t get to choose what i wanted to do, i was just forced into the room of requirement like everyone else, and-” you took a deep breath. “of course, i escaped. did you really expect me to just follow the others?”

“yes, because you’re underage, y/n!”

“by two months,” you spat, having a hard time controlling your anger at jay’s stubbornness. “i’m two months too young to fight? that doesn’t make any sense, you know i’m better at charms than most of your classmates!”

he shook his head, his eyes wandering around the room. “they were the rules, y/n. i can’t believe you-”

“can’t believe what? that i would want to fight for my school? fight for my friends? fight for this world to not go under-” you let a few tears fall down your cheeks, and you weren’t sure if it was out of exhaustion, frustration, or despair; likely a combination of them all. but you didn’t bother wiping them away. “fight for you. did you expect that i would just sit at home, just hoping that my friends, family, and boyfriend would all survive? not knowing anything and not being able to affect it would’ve killed me, i think you know-”

you were cut off as he pushed his lips onto yours. your eyes fluttered closed instinctively, and your hand that wasn’t currently holding your wand went up to cup his cheek. he tasted of blood from a small cut on his bottom lip and you tasted of salt from your tears, but neither of you minded. kissing jay felt so familiar; it felt like you were home again. it felt like you were back in your common room with him like you’d been a year ago, when no war had been going on and no dark lord was preparing for his final battle. jay’s lips smoothed over yours with such ease and such softness that if you hadn’t been standing, you could’ve fallen asleep from it.

“hey guys,” jake’s voice made you jump into reality again, and you moved your hand from jay’s cheek to his chest to push him away from you far enough for your lips to part from his again. “i hate to be the one to interrupt your moment, but uh... we should really get going.”

you nodded towards him, before looking back over at jay again, who did not look like he had wanted to stop his previous actions, a tiny pout on his lips. now that you were standing so close to him, you could study his face; there were several smaller wounds all over it, and he winced slightly when you reached up to remove a small piece of glass that had been stuck in a cut below his right eye. you used your thumb to wipe away the blood which had leaked down from a bigger wound by his jaw. “episkey,” you whispered, watching as the skin melted together and soon looked as if nothing had ever happened to it.

there was a loud bang, and the glass of the windows behind the staff table shattered everywhere - and in through the hole ran at least a dozen new death eaters, followed by students, teachers, parents, and other adults who were fighting for your side. and amongst them, you spotted none other than your brother - sunghoon was dueling a death eater, whom you’d seen before in the newspapers, all alone, but as he struck the other wizard with a jinx that seemed to have an extreme force, the death eater flew and slammed into a wall just like yewon had done.

in the few moments that you had stood watching your brother, the people around you hadn’t stopped like you, but instead started helping out in battles. you instantly joined jay’s side again, helping him battle a tall and broad man whose wand was producing beams of light at a faster speed than you had ever seen before. “incarcerous!” jay roared, and ropes appeared out of thin air which wrapped around the death eater and held his limbs tightly together.

“good one,” you told him, and turned around to find someone else to help - but standing right behind you was none other than sunghoon. 

“jay, are you dumb?!” he screamed at the boy standing next to you. beads of sweat were rolling down his face and his dark eyes made him look of a mixture between exasperated and exhausted. “forcing my baby sister into a war?!”

“he didn’t force me, you idiot!” you frowned up at him, groaning. “i chose it myself. and what part of me is baby, sunghoon? i’m almost of age, start treating me like it!”

“either way, you can’t be here! you have to get back to the room of requirement!”

you shook your head and took a step closer to him. “in case you haven’t noticed, they’re fighting in here. if we don’t help out soon, we will all be dead. i’d rather die helping out than die arguing about this!”

you walked past him and raised your wand, ready to strike at a witch jake was taking on at the moment, but sunghoon grabbed your arm and pulled you back. you were about to shake him off and complain when he pulled you into a hug. holding you close, he muttered, “i can’t lose you. please, please, take care. never battle alone.” you squeezed him back and nodded into his chest, before pulling away from him. you heard how he told jay to protect you, and the two of them were just about to hug when a red light missed the tops of their heads by just a few centimeters, almost as if it was a signal that you all needed to get back to the war.

you and jay took on one death eater each, throwing spells and shooting colored jets through the air as quickly as you could. but after stunning your opponent, and helping jay do the same to his, you overlooked the room and realized just how many people there were. it was extremely crowded, with injured people crying for help while lying on the floor and voldemort’s helpers assaulting other wizards and witches with both their wands and their bodies. it was overwhelming, there were too many of them, how would you ever win this? your breath became uneven, and you felt like you weren’t getting any air. your head was spinning, and the ground felt like it was shaking below you - it likely was, to be honest - and you couldn’t stay in your place a second longer.

you turned around slowly, before moving towards the opening of the main hall and looked for the best place to go. to your left, your defense against the dark arts teacher was fighting two robed, tall men all by himself, though he seemed to have no problem doing so; to your right, the hallway was empty, so that’s where you went. you found a hole in the wall a bit away, and you could almost hear the fresh air of the night calling for you, so you climbed out through it. instantly, your lungs were filled with the cold air, making you close your eyes in satisfaction and sit down on the ground, relaxing fully. you instantly felt better, and you felt like you wouldn’t have to be out here for a lot longer before you could back inside, just-

“look at who we have here,” said a female voice from beside you, and you opened your eyes and flew up to stand on the stone debris from what had formerly been the wall. you recognized her instantly - she was one of voldemort’s most faithful followers, and you had read about her and her escape from azkaban in the newspapers before. “isn’t it the little mudblood who’s been helping lee heeseung in his plans against the dark lord?” you raised your wand to attack, but she was quicker. “expelliarmus!” your wand flew up into the air and landed right by her feet. you didn’t even bother trying to fetch it, you knew it would be to no avail. “tell me where the boy is hiding, and i shall spare your life.”

“i don’t know!” you cried out.

she raised her eyebrows. “hmm. maybe this will make you remember. crucio!”

you had never experienced pain like this in your life. you crashed down onto the ground, unable to control anything in your body. the pain was obliterating, intense, all-consuming. you screamed, but you couldn’t hear yourself, all your senses being dulled out by the pain. 

and suddenly, she broke off the curse, though your muscles were still throbbing from the curse. “do you know where he is now, then?” she sneered.

“no-” just as you had managed to whimperingly utter the word, she flicked her wand once again. the second hit of the spell felt a lot like the first, but this time she held it for much longer. your bones were on fire, a million knives were pushing into your skin, boiling water was being poured over your body, your head was about to explode-

the relief you felt when she stopped the curse for the second time was indescribable. high-pitched, horrifying laughs were flowing from the death eater’s mouth before she once again spoke. “i think you know now.”

you wanted to slap the grin off her dark lips, but you had no energy to even stand up. instead, you gathered your last bits of power, and said, “i don’t. and even if i had known, i wouldn’t have told you.”

she chuckled, before shaking her head at you. “you silly girl... you deserve this.”

the third time the spell hit you, it was much worse than the other two times; she must’ve gone extremely angry by now. it felt as if you were in space, there was no air for you to breathe. your lungs weren’t working properly. you wished to do anything to make this extreme pain go away, anything... even disappear or... die...

though it had felt like an eternity for you, there were only a few moments after she’d cursed you that the curse was interrupted once again. you couldn’t even look up; you were curled into a ball on the ground, eyes shut tight, wishing that everything would just be over...

soon, there was a shuffle beside you, and soon a hand lay on your shoulder, shaking it gently. “y/n? are you alive? please, be alive...”

by now, you were just barely breathing; it was too hard, it took too much energy from you and you already had very little left.

“hey, it’s all fine now,” a voice told you, as a hand caressed your cheek. “she’s gone. you’ll be fine. please, just-” the voice paused, and when it returned, you could tell that the person by you had turned around and was now yelling towards the entrance of the castle. “jake! get some water, quick!”

you were too exhausted to listen clearly to his voice and try to recognize it, but from his wording, you could easily tell who it was. slowly, you opened your eyes, looking up at jay who sat crouched next to you. he had more bruises and wounds all over his face now than he had had when you had left him, and he was looking down at you with eyes of such panic that you’d never seen before. “fuck, y/n,” he mumbled. “you can’t just go off like that. do you realize how-”

he stopped in his tracks when you reached up with a hand to thread your fingers through his hair, pushing his fringe back and out of his eyes. “i’m fine.”

“a-are you sure?”

you nodded slowly at him, closing your eyes once again and letting your arm fall to your side. “i just need to...rest a bit...” jay let out a sigh of relief, and his hand went from your shoulder and up to your face, letting his thumb wipe away a few tears that you hadn’t noticed shedding. “what happened to her?” you hummed, voice low.

“oh, you didn’t hear it?” you furrowed your eyebrows. “i stunned her at first, but then voldemort spoke over the grounds and told his forces to retreat, to give us one hour to treat to everyone’s wounds and to say our goodbyes to those who are leaving us. he said that heeseung has an hour to give himself in, or else the war is on again.” 

you were surprised that you hadn't heard voldemort's voice, but then again, you even now had to put in all your force to hear jay properly. you looked up at him. “he’s not going to, is he?” you questioned, to which jay merely shrugged. “he can’t, that’s-”

“y/n, are you okay?! someone told me what happened,” said jake as he came up to you two, an empty plastic bottle in his hand. “i only found this, it’s empty, i know, but i mean you can always-”

“aguamenti,” jay said to cut off his friend’s rambling, filling the bottle quickly before handing it to you. thanking them both, you sat up straight, although every muscle and every ligament in your body screamed as you did, and drank a couple of sips.

deciding that you wouldn’t get anything done sitting there all night, you put away the bottle and pressed your hands into the ground, trying to push yourself up, but instantly failed. jay saw your struggling and bolted up, offering his hand down to you and helping you stand up once you took it in yours. “how’s your balance?” jake asked as you froze for a few seconds when you were trying to figure out if you were blacking out due to the stinging feeling in your head or due to your blood pressure dropping from standing up too quickly.

“not good enough,” you chuckled. “will you guys help me?” they both nodded, and soon they were by your sides, letting you throw your arms across their shoulders to steady you.

as you walked into the castle again through the hole you had come out from a while ago, you couldn’t help but to think about what jay had said earlier. say our goodbyes to those who are leaving us... he made it seem like there are many who were too injured to bring back. there couldn’t be a lot, could there?

“where is heeseung?” you asked, moving your head between them to look at their faces. “he knows we are fighting, right? he can’t give up!”

jake stopped in his tracks, which made you jump back too even though you all were just a few meters from the main hall by now, and he gave jay a very specific look. “you haven’t told her, have you?”

jay rubbed his hand that wasn’t holding you up against the back of his neck. “i- i haven’t found a good moment to do it!”

“wha-” was all you could let out before jake spoke again.

“and you think this is a good moment?!” he almost yelled, shaking his head at jay.

“i don’t think we’ll find a better one, nor that we have any choice,” jay groaned, and just as your confusion and frustration of not being allowed into the conversation peaked, someone ran into your view.

“oh my god, y/n!” cried yewon, running up to you. “i’m so sorry for your loss, i wish there was something i could’ve done-”

and that’s when it hit you. you realized what jay and jake had been referring to, but you refused to believe it. she must’ve been confused, it can’t have been true, nothing was wrong-

you pulled away your arms from the boys and ignored their calls of your name when you sprinted forwards, past yewon and into the hall. you pushed away your thoughts of your aching muscles and how it was likely unwise to do this; nothing was more important right now than making it all the way to where the dead bodies lay in the middle of the room. they had removed the tables by now, and people were gathering in groups around the wizards and witches on the floor, though you couldn’t see anything other than the one body you were aiming towards. and as you reached him, the world turned black.

“sunghoon,” you whispered, crouching down to the floor and shaking him by his shoulders. “please, sunghoon. you’re not dead, you can’t die, not now, you...” before you knew it, your sobs were uncontrollable, your face buried in his dusty cloak. this couldn’t be real. there was no way. “wake up... i beg of you...”

you felt someone sit down next to you, and then a hand on your back. you instantly turned around and threw yourself into jay’s embrace, crying out loud. your hands clutched at the material covering his chest and once again you had trouble breathing, your breaths unnaturally short and rapid. jay held your trembling body to him as tightly as he could, hoping that if you felt that he was there with you he’d be able to hold you down in reality, to make sure your mind wasn’t floating away. 

but as time passed, and you started realizing that sunghoon wouldn't come back, your sorrow turned into something else. vengefulness. they weren't getting away with this. 

#enhypen #iland #i-land #Jay #park jay #soft hours #fluff #angst #enhypen angst #jay angst #enhypen scenario #jay scenario #enhypen imagine #jay imagine #enhypen drabble #enhypen blurb #enhypen romance #hogwarts au #hogwarts!au #enhypen Harry Potter au

[youare-mysonshine]

heavy || bucky barnes

Summary: reader’s mental health has been taking a decline and bucky is there.

Requested: No

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: talks of mental health, depression, anxiety, angst, cussing.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Hey guys, I’m back I guess lmao. I’ve really been struggling with my mental health lately and I guess I kinda just wanted to put it into words, something productive? And I’ve been feeling our angsty emo boy bucky barnes. Most of you might’ve followed me for my Oscar fics but I kinda wanna branch out and I thought this would be a good time to do so. Anyways, I know that some of you have inboxed me or messaged me and I haven’t responded and I’m sorry. But I just want you all to know that if you’re struggling, I’m always here to talk. About anything, always. So, I hope you enjoy this. I might’ve cried while writing this lmao and I also might’ve ended it on such an awkward place but, i’m still getting used to writing again. (Flashbacks are in italics)

————

Bucky didn’t miss the dark circles under your eyes. He didn’t miss the way you sort of slouched as you approached him. He didn’t miss the way that your smile didn’t really meet your eyes.

“Hey,” You said in a breathless voice. “Sorry, I’m late. I got held up.” You said as you took a seat across from him in the booth. Held up. It was better than telling him that you were thinking of just not showing up at all. In the end, you knew that you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t just blow off your new friend who you had so enjoyed spending time with. So, in a rush, you got dressed and made your way to the small, quiet diner that you two had taken to frequenting together. Bucky Barnes was an enigma if you’d ever met one. The way that you had met was rather.. cliche and something straight from a story.

You had been trying to lay off of the caffeine for a while, realizing that you had nearly gone through an entire packet of 32 k-pods that you had just purchased. You realized that you might’ve had a problem. You had been going pretty strong with staying away from caffeine for the time being, until you passed by a coffee shop and got a whiff of coffee. You just couldn’t help yourself; you bought a cup of coffee. It was when you were walking down the street, holding the cup of coffee in one hand, looking down, that you didn’t see someone walking right in your path. You had collided into what seemed like a solid wall and the impact had caused you to squeeze the cup of coffee in surprise, the warm liquid burning your hand, staining your clothes and the other person. You had realized it was another person you had crashed into when you heard them let out a low cuss.

Bucky’s grumpy self had been fully prepared to tell you off for crashing into him, having just left his therapist’s office, but when you looked up at him with those bright eyes of yours, a million apologies spilling from your lips a mile a minute, he swallowed whatever harsh words had nearly sprung forth. He had apologized as well; both of you had been at fault. Bucky had been going over his session with Dr. Raynor that morning, completely lost in his own mind, and you had your eyes trained on the ground, something that was a bad habit of yours. The shock of realizing you had bumped into a man, a really really handsome man with the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen, had made you temporarily forget that you had practically scorched your hand with the coffee, and that you had gotten it on him as well.

“I’m so, so sorry.” You said once again, quickly averting your eyes from the handsome stranger’s face. Instead you focused on the smushed cup in your hand and the stains on his leather jacket. It just made you feel even terrible. “I, I can pay for you to get your jacket cleaned, if you want. Really. I wasn’t paying attention and I just, for whatever reason, squished my cup and.. I’m sorry.” You said, kind of breathlessly.

“It’s.. it’s alright.” His voice was like the coffee that you had been drinking. Smooth and rich. It was deep, something that reverberated deep in your chest and had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. “I wasn’t paying attention either. Really, it’s fine. And don’t worry about my jacket. No harm, no foul.” He said. “You should, uh, you should take care of that hand. Hope you didn’t burn yourself too bad.” He gestured to your hand, still clutching the cup, with one of his own gloved hands.

“Oh, I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that hot. Thank you, though. And again, I’m really, really sorry.” Sparing one, seemingly, last glance at the handsome stranger, you side stepped him and began to walk away, tossing the empty cup of coffee in a trash can on the sidewalk. But you didn’t get very far because that deep voice called out to you, halting you in your tracks.

“Can I buy you another cup of coffee?” Bucky’s mouth had opened and spoken the words long before his brain could even catch up. He didn’t know why he had asked you that, but something in his gut was just telling him too.

“What?” A look of total bewilderment had crossed your face and he had seen it.

“I just, well I thought that, since I bumped into you, I could make it up to you by buying you a new cup of coffee. If you wanted, I mean. You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.” Bucky clarified, hand stuffed in his pocket, waiting for your answer. For a few seconds, you simply stood there, unsure of what to say because surely this wasn’t happening? The last time that you had gone out with a guy was.. well, shit, you didn’t even remember the last time. The little voice in the back of your head, that anxious, paranoid little voice, was telling you not to go off with a stranger. You’d watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds and other true crime shows and documentaries to know that situations like this never turned out well. However, you didn’t get a bad feeling from this particular man. He seemed just as awkward and slightly frazzled as you felt. So you agreed.

“I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Y/N.”

That had happened about two months ago. Ever since then, you and Bucky had formed a strong friendship. Your first time getting coffee with him had been awkward, as were the next few times that you had seen one another. But things got easier. Becoming friends was easy. You kind of fell into this routine, almost as if you two had known each other your whole lives. That was why Bucky telling you who he really was had been terrifying for him. He carried around guilt and shame and just contempt for everything he’d done. Everything The Winter Soldier represented, and when he told you, he figured that you would think the same. He had asked you meet him at the diner that had now become your spot and and you remember how he nervously wrung his gloved hands together. You remember when you asked him what was wrong and he didn’t verbally respond but he took off his gloves; the right one first and then the left, revealing a shiny black metal hand, golden lines intricately placed.

He told you then. Maybe he didn’t tell you everything but he told you who he was and he had braced himself for you to get up and storm out. Or, to yell at him and tell him how much of a monster he was. But, it never came. Instead, you reached out and placed your hand on top his. Not his real hand, but the metal one. You didn’t say anything. You just gave him that smile that was quickly becoming his favorite. Sometimes, silence spoke a thousand words. To Bucky, you had become kind of a respite for him. Even in the late nights or mornings when he woke up after a nightmare. Or after a particularly hard session with Dr. Raynor. He had closed himself off from other people except you.

Bucky might not have known it, but he gave you the same level of comfort as you gave him. You found yourself craving his presence. Every time you were around him, you couldn’t help but to smile or laugh. In the time that you spent together, your mind was clear and free from all your worries. It all evaporated into thin air. Your mind, usually so active with all sorts of thoughts and worries, could finally rest when you were with Bucky. You could sleep. You could get up in the morning without that stress and anxiety drowning you. It was okay. It was great.

Until it wasn’t.

“No problem, doll.” He said, gloved hands clasped under the table on his lap. “I already ordered. Got your usual. Hope that was alright.” He added, to which you nodded absentmindedly.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Thanks Buck.” You said, mustering up a half hearted smile that didn’t reach your eyes. It was like even smiling drained the energy from you. You were exhausted. Not even just physically but mentally and emotionally. You had been having such good days for a while now, since meeting Bucky. You felt like maybe you would finally be alright but.. this feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that nothing was quite right, it was heavy. It weighed you down. It suffocated you. You wanted to be alone, but you also couldn’t stand to be alone because when you were alone, you were just stuck in your head and being in your head was the absolute worst place to be.

The intrusive thoughts had started. They told you that you would do nothing but weigh Bucky down. That he didn’t need someone like you in his life, someone with clear problems of their own, when he was going to therapy trying to better himself. Even if it had been mandatory for him to go. You wanted to push him away, save him from yourself, but you also couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

Bucky noticed the shift in you. Normally when you two met up, whether it was at the diner or anywhere else, you would usually talk his ear off. Not that he minded, he was content to just sit back and listen to you. Sometimes, you’d tell him about a new book that you had started reading. You had just started reading the fifth Harry Potter book and you were trying to get him to read them. You’d tell him about your day. You’d ask him how his day went, how it went with Dr. Raynor, though you never pushed for more information. You always let him share if he was comfortable with it and he appreciated that. Sometimes you teased him for being such an old man.

The food came soon after you had arrived and sure enough, Bucky had ordered your usual. It sent a pang through your heart when you realized that he had memorized your order, down to the extra syrup and whipped cream on the pancakes. Bucky always liked to make fun of you for ordering the same thing when you came to the diner. No matter what time it was, you always ordered the pancakes with extra syrup and extra whip cream, with the strawberries on the side. Secretly, though he found it adorable.

Today, you had barely even taken more than a few bites and that was what really let Bucky know that something wasn’t right. You kept your head down, eyes on the pancakes and you cut them up, bringing a few up to your mouth and chewing slowly, but you mostly just moved them around your plate with the fork in your hand. Bucky himself had barely taken only a few bites of the food he’d ordered for himself, but it wasn’t for lack of appetite, it was because of the growing concern. His bright blue eyes were now a stormy grey, kind of like the clouds that you see during a heavy storm. His brows were furrowed, giving him an appearance almost as if he were angry.

“You alright, Y/N? You’ve barely eaten your food and normally you finish before I do.” He attempted to joke, to bring about that smile that seemed to always fill him with warmth. He half expected you to look up at him with that cheeky little smile, a mischievous look in your eyes and say “You know, I would be offended by that, but I know why you eat so slow, Buck. I completely understand. You don’t want your dentures to fall out.” But it never came.

You don’t know what it was. Bucky asking you if you were alright or if it was simply all the pressure of just.. everything, finally breaking, but you could feel the hot tears in your eyes. They blurred your vision until you couldn’t really see the plate of the pancakes in focus. The dam had finally come apart and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You set the fork down and buried your face in your hands, your shoulders lightly shaking as you began to cry. All Bucky could do was stare for a few seconds, alarm written all over his face. Alarm and distress because he had no idea what just happened and if he had done something to upset you.

“Woah woah, hey. Sweetheart, hey. What’s wrong?” In seconds, Bucky was out of his side of the booth and scooting in beside you. You felt the comfort of his warmth, you felt his arm tentatively, almost hesitantly, slide around your shoulders and anchor you to him. You shook your head, attempting to calm down, to stop the tears but the more you tried, the more they seemed to come.

“I-I’m sorry, Bucky.. I.. I’m sorry.. I-I’m fine. Really.” You said, sniffling. It was apparent to you both that you were not alright and he really just wanted to get to the bottom of it. Or at least attempt to comfort you. But doing that in the middle of a diner with other people around wasn’t ideal.

“Hey, my apartment is only a short walk away. Come on, let’s get you out of here and somewhere more quiet.” You didn’t protest. You just nodded and slid out of the booth after he did. Bucky took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the table, paying for the uneaten food, and then quickly led you out of the establishment. He kept his hand on you, almost like an anchor. Whether it was to reassure you or himself, he didn’t know and you didn’t mind either. It was probably the only thing that kept you from retreating inside of your mind and giving in to the panic that so desperately wanted out.

You didn’t even realize that you had reached his apartment until he had led you up the stairs and you were standing behind him as he unlocked the door. He allowed you to step in first and then quickly followed behind you, shutting the door as he did so. You didn’t really get the chance to take in his apartment because he had ushered you to sit on his couch while he knelt in front of you.

“Alright, you’re scarin’ me here, doll. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” The sheer look of concern and slight panic in his face and those pretty eyes of his made the waterworks come back again. You shook your head, your face scrunched up in anguish. Hot bullet tears fell from your eyes and left a wet path in their wake down your cheeks. Bucky wasn’t one to pry; he hated it when people tried to pry into his life and he didn’t do it to you, but he couldn’t stand the sight of seeing you cry. He couldn’t stand the sight of your once bright eyes and cheery smile just.. gone. You eyes were sad and your lips were pulled into a frown. “Talk to me, baby.” He practically pleaded.

“I just.. I don’t.. I don’t know how to explain it, Buck.” You cried. “I-I.. I just feel like..” You let out a frustrated cry when you couldn’t find the right words but Bucky was patient. He reached a hand up, cupping your cheek and wiping away the tears that kept falling. “I don’t feel.. happy. Everyday I wake up and I just, I feel fine for like a few seconds and then everything just comes crashing down on me. I can’t ever stop thinking. I can’t sleep at night. I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like this, Bucky. And I feel fucking crazy. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even really like me. I feel.. hopeless, like nothing is ever going to be okay. I might feel okay for a few seconds but then it just goes away.” You explained, though you were sure that you probably sounded like a raving and ranting lunatic. “Before I met you, I liked being alone but I also hated it because when I was alone, I would just overthink and overthink and overthink about every fucking thing. If it wasn’t one thing it was another just giving me such bad anxiety and.. I don’t know what to do anymore, Bucky. I’m just tired of feeling like this. Feeling like nothing is ever going to be okay, like I’m never going to be okay. I just feel.. alone.”

His heart was well and truly broken. In the two months that he’d known you, he hadn’t known how badly you had struggled with your mental health. He hadn’t known the war that you fought within your mind, and how bad it had become. You were such saving grace for Bucky; you saved him from the wars inside of his mind. The constant feeling of guilt that he fought with on a daily basis, and now.. he just wanted to do the same for you. He wanted to shoulder some of the pain that you carried, the pain that seemed to be weighing you down. Both of his hands now cupped your cheeks so delicately, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. His blue eyes were shining, looking at you with not pity, but something like.. understanding. If anyone knew what you were feeling, it was Bucky.

“You’re not alone.” His smooth and rich voice was so soft, so gentle that it brought on a new set of tears. “You’re not alone, sweetheart. Not anymore. You know why? Cause you got me.” He said. “I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. To feel stuck in your head. To feel like nothing is ever gonna get better. I felt like that in Wakanda. Sometimes.. sometimes, we need help. And I know I’m not one to be talking considering that I don’t really like talking to my therapist or even going,” That roused the smallest of smiles from you. “I’m here. You know that, right? I’m here. You got me and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I don’t care if you have a million bad days. I don’t care if you feel like you’re bothering me. I’ll be there every time.” You two have gradually gravitated close to one another until your foreheads were pressed together. Bucky was still knelt in front of you on the couch, his hands still holding your cheeks. Your eyes were closed and you could feel his warm breath fanning your face. The tears had stopped falling but you were still sniffling softly. “You’ve helped me. Even if you don’t know it. You’ve helped me.” He was whispering. There was no one but you two in his apartment but he was still whispering the words meant for only you to hear. “Now, let me help you. Please.”

“Okay. I trust you, Bucky.”

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fic #james buchanan barnes #sebastian stan #tfatws #mcu #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

[ginnyweasely]

ONLY GOOD THING [DRACO MALFOY X READER]

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem!) warnings: swearing, drinking (sort of), a bit angsty!!, but MOSTLY FLUFF!!, draco is a bit ooc but that’s how i like it bb! summary: draco seems to be super curious of the reader who has trust issues and has a hard time opening up. word count: 7.3k+

A/N: I know this is very loong but bare with me bc i sort of kinda love this one!! This is heavily inspired by one of my own very old imagine but i changed up many stuff,  ALSO!! i’m gonna start making my own gifs for my writings so if you do take them PLEASE please do not claim it as your own and feel free to give credit! happy reading :) also remember feedbacks are alwayss welcomed with luv and hugs!!

MASTERLIST   TAGLIST

Y/N groaned at the sound of her stupid alarm clock, her hand sluggishly and lazily trying to stop the stupid machine from making anymore loud noises, failing so, she groaned loudly as she opened one eye to stare at the clock, spotting the stopping button and pressing it more like crushing it. 

She groaned as she got out of her bed, realizing she had much time left before she actually had  to go to class, causing a feel of calmness in her. She liked being right on time or just being ready way head of time, otherwise being late made the girl filled with anxiety.

Sighing, she messily spread her bedsheet on her bed, not caring enough nor having the enough energy in her to make her bed cleanly.

She looked at her school clothes that were hung by the door, all ready for her to just slip on to her body.

Her head popped around the room as she searched for her roommates, a breath of relief left her mouth as she realized they were nowhere to be seen, she found it better to be just be on her own, getting ready while people were around made her feel weird and uncomfortable.

She got her clothes and slipped into her clothes quickly, admiring herself in the mirror as she put on her robe, her outfit now matching. She brushed her hair to make it look of a messy wave, quite liking having her hair like that, which made her feel a lot more confident.

Y/N was rather a quiet girl who kept most thing to herself, by quiet it’s not as if she was shy or self-conscious, she just liked being alone, didn’t trust people enough, in fact she knew nothing about anyone, as no one knew anything about her.

She liked keeping things that way, as it was easier for her to communicate with people, she was not anyone’s best friend, she was simply friends with everyone, she hung out with people from her house, maybe sometimes with a few of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws too, but mainly from Gryffindor, and she didn’t know why but she didn’t know anyone from Slytherin.

Mainly because she didn’t care to know, Slytherins always seemed too much for her, she barely knew anything about the students at Hogwarts, soon realizing that she preferred it that way, hell she barely knew anything about the “friends” she hung out with, Ron,Hermione and Harry.

She knew she didn’t used to be like this, but with each time more and more people seemed to be breaking her trust, the girl decided that she was better off to keep her things to herself.

She was more than happy to just be with herself, she liked being that way, the only one who couldn’t hurt her was herself, sure she felt lonely at times, but she liked it, she’d rather be lonely than be hurt.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, admiring her face, she sighed softly as she noticed how pale she had been looking, so she softly pinched her cheeks to rise some color into them, happy with the results she smiled to herself in the mirror.

She slowly got up as she quickly got her books, stuffing them into her bag, and sluggishly putting it around her shoulders and getting out of her dorm.

She was walking down the Hogwarts corridors, trying to make her way into the Transfiguration class, walking through the empty corridors gave her joy, she finally got where the Transfiguration class normally was, and entered the room but to her surprise the room looked a bit different, it wasn’t the transfiguration class. It was something else.

Confused and distracted she headed to the exit and as she did so, her body collided with a boy’s, books falling to the ground as the weak girl fell from a little bump.

Y/N groaned as her bum hit the ground and she didn’t know if her head or her bum hurted more. “Watch where you’re going!” The boy snarled as she chuckled in distaste.

“Me? Your stupid big head almost destroyed mine!” She protested against him as she rubbed her head. He scoffed at her response but as he looked around the empty classroom he had the same question in his mind as hers.

“Where is everyone?” The platinum headed boy turned his head to her as she was trying to fix her skirt. “That’s my question as well. Isn’t this the transfiguration class?” She said as confused as the platinum headed boy.

“Did they like move classes?” Y/N questioned as Draco shrugged he was as clueless as she was.

Y/N was about to open her mouth but was interrupted as someone else came into the class, looking at both of them weirdly as Y/N sighed “Let me guess, you’re here for the Transfiguration room, too?” She didn’t mean to sound annoyed but clearly to the girls response she was.

“Uh no? This is Defense Against The Dark Arts, Transfiguration moved next to the Potions yesterday, Dumbledore announced it at dinner.”

A simple ohh escaped from the both clueless Draco and Y/N’s mouths as they slowly exited the room, walking towards to the new room, which made Y/N groan because it was all the way over to the end of the castle, causing her to get anxious about being late.

Being so into her thoughts she totally forgot the boy that was walking next to her, she realized they had been awkwardly walking in silence, Y/N sighed as she hated situations like this and was mentally cursing until her thoughts were interrupted with Draco’s voice.

“What’s your name?” He asked as he tried to keep up to her fast walking pace, “I’m Y/N, Y/L/N.” she replied softly, then added “And you are?” The boy chuckled at the question as Y/N stared at him in confusion.

“You don’t know who I am?” He questioned shocked as he realized she was serious, “Was I supposed to know?” Y/N asked as sarcasm was dripping from her mouth.

“Well, of course. I’m Draco Malfoy, son of Lucious Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy, the most respectable wizards in the wizard history.” Draco said proudly as Y/N just looked at him awkwardly.

“Uhm.. okay?” She replied in an uninterested voice which the boy took offense to and had a hard time not believing in how she didn’t have a clue of who he was.

Frustrated he spoke up again, “If you must know they call me the Slytherin Prince!” He added in order to impress her but in return she just cackled at the name, and even though she tried her best to brush off her cackle it just seemed to anger the boy.

“What’s so fucking funny!” He grunted, as the girl opened her mouth to speak “It’s just you Slytherins have so much confident in yourselves, and it makes you guys extremely cocky, it’s both a good and a bad thing, really.” She smiled and in return Draco smiled back.

“So I take it you’re a Gryffindor?” She nodded “How did you know?”    “Well, you stood up for me, that’s courage and well, your robe..” He pointed and she chuckled at her stupidity.

“Right..” She said still walking towards the corridors, but now they were enjoying their conversation so her pace was much more slower. “You could have been a great Slytherin with that sarcasm though..” She chuckled as she brushed off his comment.  

Y/N was about to make a joke about his “Slytherin Prince” title but she froze as her eyes met up with the light brown eyes of the guy in front of him, she mentally cursed herself, wanting nothing more than just to disappear at that moment.

Draco quickly noticed the change in her and was baffled at first, but he slowly eyed her movements and looked up, seeing the infamous “Golden Boy” of Hogwarts in front of him. Cedric Diggory was standing there as Y/N stood still.

He scoffed at the sight of him, his attention slowly turned back to Y/N who seemed to be stunned by Cedric, as the boy curiously wanted to know why the “Golden Boy” had such an effect on her.

Cedric smiled at Y/N softly as Draco saw her give him the weakest smile ever, as her face seemed to falling apart, her pace quickened by the sight.

“What was that?” Draco questioned curiously as a hint of worriedness could be heard in his tone. “Nothing, let’s just go to class.” Y/N said hurriedly as she brushed him off and their quickened pace arrived them quickly to the class,

“Uhh, do you wanna sit with me?” Draco murmured as he tried to sound confident but nervousness could be read from the boy’s face, “Yeah, sure!” Y/N replied rather quickly, washing away Draco’s worries as she smiled at him and they took their places in the class.

Draco seemed to be confused.. by many things, his mind quickly started to wander off. First of all, why was he sitting with a Gryffindor, that he specifically asked for?

Second of all why did Y/N froze at the sight of Cedric and lastly but the most important, why did he actually like spending time with Y/N? His mind went fuzzy with the stupid questions the entire class, trying his best to focus but unable to. Then he did the worst possible thing he could do, he gently turned  his head around to look at Y/N.

His distracted mind was now a mess, staring at the pretty girl next to him made him feel fucked up in his stomach, he closely eyed her movements, but sooner or later realized that staring this much at her could draw her attention so he tried his best to observe her by the corner of his eye.

He wanted to study her fully, he wanted answers to the questions in his mind, he certainly liked that she didn’t know about him, it was a greater change that he could finally meet with someone unaware of his reputation, because people either hated him for it or loved him for it, there was no in between.

Y/N didn’t seem to be the sort of person that cared a lot of what people were doing, at least that’s what Draco thought as the girl had no clue he even was. To him she seemed like a pretty normal person that stayed out of people’s business.

So the question of why she of all people would have a problem with someone like Diggory was a whole puzzle for him to figure out, meanwhile Y/N was lost in her own thoughts, trying to get the stupid Diggory boy out of his mind, feeling ever so stupid for even thinking about him.

Time passed as the pair sitting together were both in their own thoughts, minds fuzzy with questions, which caused the class to end abruptly.

A sigh of relief leaving Y/N’s mouth as it did so, causing her to act quick and packing her books even faster, getting up as soon as she got ready and muttering out a quick Bye! to Draco and quite literally vanishing.

Draco’s attempt at acting quick and trying to keep up with the girl simply failed as the girl was nowhere to be seen, causing an annoyed sigh come out of Draco’s lips because of her unreasonable stand off-ish personality, the hopes about hanging out with Y/N and maybe even being friends with her were instantly crushed.

Draco clearly needed a friend like her. But it seemed Y/N’s mind was more busy with other things. Her mind was fumbled in other classes too, not to put all the blame on the Diggory boy, she was just a distracted, messy girl is all.. She would write everything down and take notes of everything, but she couldn’t listen to the classes, her mind would be all off.

She got out of her classes and went to supper, her eyes searching for Hermione as she tended to sit with them on lunch, even though lately she felt weird sitting with them since their relationships where causing drama.

It was pretty messy, but all too simple in Y/N’s mind. It seemed that Harry was into Ginny, and Ginny was into Harry but they both didn’t know, and on the other hand Ron and Hermione were into each other but they were both dating other people, the whole drama thing was nice to watch from outside but Y/N didn’t want to get involved, she didn’t like being in people’s business, so she tried her best to stay away, but still sitting with them tended to create some awkward moments.

To be perfectly honest, she didn’t really care, she never was the person that was full of emotions and could open up easily, but after Diggory, she became more and more secretive,  more stand off-ish.

She felt emptier inside, she was less focused and more all over the place, even though it seemed they weren’t best of best friends, even the Golden Trio took notice of Y/N’s changed actions, they even tried to help her once or twice, but Y/N made it look like she was super strong and didn’t need anyone, that part wasn’t really true, but Y/N always hated seeming fragile or weak so they dropped it, leaving the girl alone as she liked it.

She didn’t like opening up to everyone. She couldn’t blame all of it on Diggory either, nor Potter for setting them up, she was also one to blame, she should’ve distanced herself from him, she should have known better but she just didn’t.

When she met Diggory, he wasn’t the “Golden Boy” of Hogwarts, he was just a kind lovely kid who had taken an interest in Y/N, and of course Y/N was stunned by the boy, he was gorgeous, kind and was overall lovely... or that’s what she perceived him as…

Their relationship wouldn’t exactly count as perfect, she could very well admit that, but she always thought they connected on a level that she felt she had never connected with anyone, and she truly cared for the boy and wanted to believe he felt the same for her, it was a huge disappointment to discover that her feelings were not mutual.  

Their relationship wasn’t as public as Y/N thought, a few of their friends knew, rest of the school didn’t care much about it, she never realized not being too much in public with him would be the cause of their break up. There wasn’t a particular problem in their relationship it was all sweet and lovely until the Triwizard tournament, Y/N never thought that Cedric joining the tournament would change him, she never thought that it would end their relationship, but it fucking did.

It all happened when the arguments started, when Cedric was becoming too cocky because of his “Golden Boy” title, he would constantly have girls throwing themselves at him left and right, and he would never do enough for Y/N to feel comfortable when those girls were all over him, making Y/N burst into tears as soon as she was left alone.

Too much tears shredded for a boy who didn’t deserved them. Sooner or later Y/N did suspect somethings about the boy and all the girls around him but she never wanted to believe or egg on her suspicions, she knew she was fooling herself but she was trying her best to not get hurt even more, but boy did that fail miserably.

It happened on the second task, she remembered the moment so vividly. Y/N was on her way to the second task, to support Cedric, she slowly took a place as she stood there cheering for his boyfriend.

Feeling an enormous joy filling her entire heart, only then for her heart to be crushed miserably in a matter of seconds. Y/N’s huge smile slowly faded as it took the form of a frown, her lips now formed in a shut line.

Tears threatened to leave her eyes at the sight in front of her, the realization of what the task was about and who Cedric was with hit her later than she ever realized.

The task was about them saving someone they cared about, and Cedric got out of the water with Cho, whom Y/N heard rumors about that Cho and Cedric hooked up a week ago, a rumor that Y/N now had no heart to ignore.

A soft sob escaped Y/N’s lips that day as she exited the arena, rushing over to her dorm as quickly as possible, she didn’t know whether to be mad at Cedric or herself for being this fucking gullible.

Soon enough though, when all the tasks were over, Y/N broke up with Cedric in the coldest way possible. She thought hiding her feelings from him would make her feel stronger, but it didn’t, she cried herself to sleep that night, and maybe even more nights following that night.

Y/N couldn’t believe she was fooled by his charm, she felt stupid. She hated Cedric because of that, and because of the fact that just today the arse smiled at her in the hallway, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he was smiling at her out of pity, she hated it.

And even more so she hated the fact that she returned it, she mentally cursed herself and groaned at her own actions as they replayed in her head.

She was snapped back to her senses when her horrible memory flashback was over, and her attention was back to the Gryffindor’s chatting at the table, she tried to join in once or twice but failed to look interested, she took one more bite of her food and excused herself, to get some fresh air and be alone with her thoughts, and her mind.

She got out of her chair and collected her books, slowly walking towards to the entrance of the castle, she quickly hurried over to a quiet place as she took a place on the grass her slowly laying out her books on the ground, as she picked one of the books to read it.

Her hands slowly gazed over the book as she started reading it quickly, wanting to off her mind. Y/N’s focus was fully on her book and was devouring the pages quickly, but a nudge on her shoulder startled her as a small squeak came out from her mouth.

“Blimey! Relax Y/L/N! It’s just me!” Draco said chuckling at the girls reaction, as Y/N softly gasped at him and playfully hit him in the arm with her book chuckling “I almost died you arse!”

He smiled as he kneeled down next to her, tilting his head so he could see what she was reading, “What in Merlin’s beard is that?” Draco asked confused.

“It’s a muggles mystery book, you git!” Y/N said smiling. Draco made a nauseous face. “Oh come on! Just read it and you’ll love it! This is the second part of the book series, I actually have the first part in hand, and you can read it and we can discuss!” She gushed as her hand reach out to her stack of books handing it out to Draco.

Draco would never admit this out loud but he found your gushing over a stupid muggle book so cute that he realized he could not refuse.

He groaned slowly “Fine, but in one condition!” he smirked “And what is that?” Y/N asked confused her eyebrows furrowed softly, he did his best to not find the pretty girl in front of her cute at all times but she made it impossible.

“You have to go to Hogsmeade with me!” Draco exclaimed as Y/N was even more confused now, not expecting an offer like this from the grey-eyed boy, she was silent for a second as that made Draco almost die from embarrassment, but seconds after she washed away Draco’s embarrassment as she happily agreed.

They spent the next day with each other, both didn’t know what the day was supposed to be like was it a date? Or just as friends?

It seemed though that Draco wanted it to be a date, and maybe even Y/N did too, but she didn’t know if she was ready for a relationship, she made a deal with herself, more like a promise, a promise that she wouldn’t date guys until she was sure of them, and it had to be nice guys, like the nicest of nice guys, that had no bad intention with her, just overall really great guys.

She didn’t know much about Draco, he seemed nice and he was quite gorgeous, but in order to trust him for even a little ounce, she needed to be sure he was a nice guy. She still seemed to be pretty scared about trusting anyone, she never thought about opening up to anyone ever again, and just the thought of it scared her.

They spend the entire day together, Y/N was surprised she could finally be close to someone, at least in a friendly way, of course there was some flirting going on because Draco did not stop complimenting her the whole day, making heat rise up to Y/N’s already rosy cheeks each time he did so, giggling like a flirty girl at his stupid jokes, Draco took her out to get some deserts as the two chatted up.

Making Y/N feel extremely comfortable around him while Draco felt so happy to be in the girl’s presence, even feeling comfortable enough with her that he opened up to her a bit about his life.

As Y/N listened to him cautiously and attentively while supporting him graciously, Draco felt extremely grateful for her, but he wanted her to feel the same, feel the same comfortableness he felt, so she would be more open with him.

It seemed impossible, he wanted to know about the “Diggory” incident, but also was scared that she would either get mad at him or she would brush it off and not hang out with him again, and he didn’t want that at all, he just wanted to get to know her.

The whole friendship/flirty relationship between Draco and Y/N continued for weeks as they enjoyed each others company more than ever, he liked having her around and so did she, giggles would always fill the room the pair was in, they were always complimenting and having fun with each other, it seemed that everyone else noticed them hanging out, even her friends.

So when she went to lunch one day and sat down, her friends looked at her as if they were about to have an intervention with her any moment, she felt as though she was pitied, “What?” She asked softly as she took a piece of her bread, chewing and then swallowing it happily.

“Y/N uhmm.. we noticed you hanging around with..” Hermione started nervously. “Draco.” Harry finished her sentence abruptly. “Soo..?” Y/N asked confused but wanting to know more, “He’s not a good guy Y/N.”  Harry announced as Y/N’s smile was now met with a frown.

Anyone could tell that her entire face fell at the information, but she wanted to know more. “He literally fucked all the girls in Slytherin and left them, he uses girls...” She furrowed eyebrows confused and her frown intensified as her eyes were filled with a dash of anger.

“Why the fuck should I care? I’m not his girlfriend.” Y/N snapped without meaning to as Harry and Hermione stared at the girl with guilt visible in their eyes.

Y/N sighed softly as she quickly muttered out a simple apology her heart breaking at the information, she slowly nodded for them to continue.

“He also is a bully.. well he was.. he bullied almost entirely everyone at one point Hermione too..” Y/N’s face was scrunched up with disgust as she gasped at the information, she looked down in disappointment as Harry continued.

“Look we just don’t want Cedric Diggory 2.0 to-” Just as those words left Harry’s mouth, Y/N’s disgusted face was now filled with anger and it was aimed at Potter.

“Don’t Potter, don’t fucking go there..” she said slowly as a tip of annoyance and anger could be heard in her voice.

“Look… I’m sorry but we are just saying watch out and be careful okay? Malfoy is bad news. We just don’t wanna see you hurt.” Y/N just nodded slowly as she sighed.

“It’s fine, I’m.. I’m sorry for snapping it’s just uhh.. didn’t expect this, but thank your for informing me, I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

She said as she got out of her seat in anger, quickly grabbing her books, she started walking around as her eyes were vigorously searching for the particular Platinum Headed, grey eyed “Slytherin Prince.”

When Y/N got out of the Great Hall and started wandering out in the corridors, she finally spotted him and her eyes finally landed on the boy fully, who was chatting with his friends, and as he turned around he saw Y/N and smiled but his smile was quickly erased after he saw her disappointed expression.

His eyebrows arched up in confusion as  he slowly watched her storming over to him, “Can I talk to you?” Y/N said as her voice sounded firm as ever making Draco’s entire face wash with worry.

“What’s wrong?” Draco asked with a hint of worriedness in his voice. “I heard some things about you, Malfoy.”  Y/N said abruptly as she crossed her arms against her chest. “What things are you talking about, princess?” He said in a gentle voice concerned, “About you fucking every girl you see and leaving them? Using them and throwing them away as If they were fucking garbage?” Y/N scowled, making Draco taken a back little.

“So?” Draco said as Y/N could notice the change in his tone and expression. “So?” Y/N mimicked him as she chuckled sarcastically. “Is it true?” She questioned the boy, he nodded firmly, “Is it also true you bullied people?” He nodded again as she chuckled bitterly annoyed.

“Why do you even fucking care Y/N? It’s not like we’re fucking dating!” Draco now snarled at her out of anger.

Y/N shook her head as she chuckled bitterly, “I fucking care Draco, because you’re not a nice person! You’re not a nice guy! I don’t want to hang out with bad guys! I don’t want to be friends with bad guys!” She bitterly scoffed.

“And you know what the worst thing was? I actually thought you were a nice guy, I genuinely thought you were someone I could finally hang out with, share some stuff with, I thought you were different then all the stupid boys in the Hogwarts, but boy was I wrong.. you’re just like every other guy on Hogwarts.”

She added as she looked into his big grey eyes that were now washed over with sadness, as hers were filled with rage and sadness at the same time, Draco wanted to open his mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out as Y/N’s disappointed look in him was an image that was never going to leave his mind.

She scoffed as she quickly turned around, leaving the boy there all alone.

Draco never seemed to understand her, he thought of her as a very complicated person, mainly because he didn’t know too much about her, perhaps this “nice guy” thing was about Diggory. He wanted to uncomplicate her, get to know her, he seemed to be absolutely fascinated by the girl, she seemed to challenge him in ways he never was challenged, she didn’t know what his reputation was like, well until now…

He really seemed to have taking a liking to the girl, but it seemed that he ruined everything because of his stupid stubborn and angry self, and well partly because of his stupid past, too.

He had lost her, just like that. If he had maybe given her a some sort of explanation, maybe she would have understood, and he wouldn’t be feeling like he was sick to his stomach at the very moment.

Y/N was very understanding and a really great listener. But Draco didn’t have the guts and had too much of a pride to do something about her.

He wasn’t the person she perceived him as, yes he bullied people and he got with girls just for sexual activities, but it was before it was just in the past. He simply wasn’t like that anymore, it was just his act.

And it was not who he was anymore, he just wished instead of being stubborn with her, he would have just apologized and explained but he was too much of an arse to actually do that.

He went back to his common room as so did Y/N going to the Gryffindor common room, days went without neither talking to each other, they both felt empty, and they clearly craved each other very deeply.

The realization hit Draco that he was being extremely stupid, and Y/N just missed being with him, hanging out with him.

     ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃                    ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃                   ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃      

It was a Friday morning as Y/N and Hermione got out of their class, Hermione was trying to force Y/N to a Ravenclaw party at the room of requirement, but Y/N was not having it, afraid he might see Cedric and Cho or maybe just Draco. But Hermione wasn’t letting go of it, forcing Y/N to say yes.

Eventually Hermione finally got a muttered out “Fine!” From Y/N and she got all excited, throwing her hands up in air as if she just won something and then kissing Y/N on the cheek, surprising Y/N as she did so, and then happily leaving to go to class as she finally achieved what she wanted.

Y/N huffed at the girl as she slowly walked down the corridor to go to her own class, her hand was securely wrapped around her books as she was walking her attention still on the floor as she did so.

Footsteps could be heard from the opposite side which caused Y/N’s head to pop up immediately, her eyes softly met with Draco’s grey eyes as he is walking towards her, she simply froze for a second as she didn’t know what to do.

Y/N soon enough kept her walking pace as she was trying her best to avoid him, she slowly felt him coming towards her and she mentally cursed herself for taking this way to her class.

Slowly but surely he made his way over to her, his hand falling heavy on her shoulders as he lightly pushed her against the nearest wall, causing Y/N to look up at him stunned as she was surprised by Draco’s sudden movements. A dash of glimmer was seen in his eyes, as Y/N just couldn’t bare to open her mouth to say anything.

“Are you going to the party?” Draco’s firm voice rings through her ears as his grip on her shoulders loosen up and gets closer to her, Y/N’s skin burning with tingles just as where Draco touched her.

Suddenly feeling a sort of pit in her stomach, filled with nervousness, she still managed to open her mouth to speak. “I.. What?” Y/N asks in a soft, shaky voice.

Draco’s eyes glimmer at the gentle girl in front of him once again, he softly clears his throat as he slowly lets go of his grip and slowly backs away from the girl.

Y/N’s mind is fuzzy at his movements and her brows furrow in confusion “Why do you care?” Y/N replied coldly, now feeling less stunned and more towards angry.

“Are you going to the stupid fucking party, Y/N?” Draco repeats his question more firmly as Y/N nods slowly, “Good, see you then.” Draco murmurs rigidly as Y/N takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes at him.

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The audacity of that boy had Y/N raging, her mind was racing about him as she was in her dorm trying to pick an outfit for the party, she knew she had to look her hottest tonight, so she picked out her red dress that she was sure of that would leave Draco with his mouth open, she applied some make up on her face too, enough to go with her red dress.

Y/N also helped Hermione too as she helped pick her a gorgeous dress and did her make up in a way that she probably otherwise would never do.

The two of them took a look at themselves at the mirror one last time as the girls couldn’t stop complimenting each other, Hermione thanked Y/N gently as the two finally head off to the party.

The dress Y/N wore was complimenting her body in every way possible and displaying her body for everyone to see, it looked absolutely gorgeous on her body.

As they arrived to the room of requirement, Y/N felt nauseous to see Draco and Cedric, but tried her best to shake it out of her mind, when they entered the room of requirement, Y/N still felt absolutely sick to her stomach, while Hermione was genuinely enjoying the attention from every guy and girl around them.

Y/N slowly took notice as a smirk played onto her lips as she turned to Hermione “See!” She giggled as Hermione wowed. Y/N immediately went to the drink stand, because she knew she couldn’t make it through the night if she was sober. She got herself some disgusting alcoholic liquid and downed it quickly.

“Hey Y/N” a voice caught her attention as she turned around smiling and she greeted the boy happily.

“Heyy Neville!” Y/N said kindly as Neville eyed her up and down “You look amazing! Super pretty and gorgeouss.” She giggled at the boy’s slurred words as it seemed that he had a bit much to drink.

“You wanna dance?” Neville asked sloppily as Y/N chuckled, nodding. Just as they were about to go to the dance floor, an angry voice interrupted the two.

“You have 5 fucking seconds to get the fuck away from her.” Draco basically growled as Y/N’s attention turned to him as she muttered out a simple “Fuck.” “But she just agreed to- ” Neville opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted again by a jealous Draco.

“If you don’t fucking leave her right this second, I’m gonna hex the fuck out of you!” Draco almost yelled as his eyes were now filled with rage and jealousy, as he caused Neville to walk away quickly, “Sorry!” Y/N yelled out at the boy sympathetically as she angrily turned around to Draco.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Y/N scowled. “Me? You should see yourself, why the fuck were you flirting with that git?” Draco questioned angrily as jealousy was dripping from his mouth. “It’s not like we’re dating so why the fuck do you care, huh?” She mimicked the boy’s words as she chuckled bitterly.

Y/N was about to continue but was interrupted by someone bumping into her, “Watch where you’re fucking goi-” she stopped mid sentence as she saw Cedric, as Cho was stuck next to his side, his hand stuck on to her waist as if it was glued.

Y/N’s eyes widened quickly as she immediately stopped herself from saying anything else and simply walked away, Malfoy was bewildered again as he just followed behind her, calling out for her name as he picked up his pace, but it just caused for her to run faster away.

She ended up going to the Astronomy Tower, in which Draco was right behind her, she turned her back to him as choked out sobs were slowly escaping from her mouth.

Draco’s confusedness was now washed away with worry, Y/N didn’t seem to care that Draco was right there, as if she was comfortable enough around him, it brought some warmth to Draco but he still couldn’t handle seeing Y/N like this.

He could feel his entire body fill up with rage and also worriedness, because somehow and for whatever reason the stupid git Diggory was making you cry, and a little pissed because Neville was flirting with you.

Draco gently approached her as if he was scared to hurt the fragile girl in front of him.

“Y/N, love please talk to me..” Draco started softly as Y/N’s choked sobs were now mixed with her softly breathing, Draco took a. deep breath as he got closer to the girl. “Look princess, I’m here for you okay?” Draco said softly again as Y/N slowly tried to wipe her tears. “Let me help you..” Draco said delicately, turning her around to face him, taking her hands off her face to see her gorgeous face filled with tears.

His hands traced down her cheek, wiping away the girl’s tears. The two of them standing closer than ever to each other, a pit of nervousness both appearing at their stomachs as they were now inches away from each other. “Tell me about Diggory, okay? I… I just want to listen and I want to be there for you.” The boy said in the most genuine way possible and Y/N sighed.

“Uhh… god okay.” Y/N breathed once more as words slowly started pouring out of her mouth.

“When I met Cedric, he seemed like a nice guy, he had everything, he was gorgeous, he was kind, nice, he was amazing... He seemed perfect. We flirted for a while and he was great and all then we started dating, we weren’t really that public about it and I thought that we really worked out really great as a couple, but then the whole Triwizard Tournament happened and.. and..”

Y/N’s breath hitched as Draco gently put his hand on top of hers in reassurance, he held her hand as he stroked it softly with his thumb, telling her that it’s okay and wanting her to tell him more.

“Um you remember the second task?” Y/N asked as Draco nodded still attentively listening to the girl as Y/N softly took a breath.

“Yeah um the one where they have to save who they care about, well that day Cedric saved Cho, and that’s how I found out about him fucking cheating on me with Cho- god.” She said as her eyes filled up with tears again. And this time Draco couldn’t help but pull her into a tight hug.

His whole body relaxed as he hugged the broken girl in front of him, also feeling the tense girl relax up under her touch, his hands slowly travelled to her hair as he started stroking her hair delicately, “Baby, it’s okay, it’s fine...” He said softly as she pulled away from the hug.

“I trusted him and he fucking broke my heart.. I just hate him so so fucking much. God- Draco.. then… and then I met you, I met someone who I felt like I could trust again, I met someone who I wanted to hang out with, but then your reputation, I found out about your reputation, for the first time since Cedric I finally liked a boy, I genuinely liked a boy… and wanted to open up to him, but you broke my heart, you crushed it, I thought you were like Cedric, I really fucking liked you, Malfoy and you devastated me.”

She muttered out as her heart ached. And so did Draco’s but at the same time he was happy about her revelation “You- you fucking like me?” Draco stammered as Y/N nodded.

Draco’s grey eyes glimmered with happiness. “Fucking hell, Y/N I liked you from the moment I fucking met you.. You have been quite literally the only thing good thing in my life as soon as I bumped into you in that bloody class..” Draco exclaimed as Y/N chuckled softly.

“The whole reputation thing was in the past, I was too much of a dick in the past but I’m not like that anymore, I promise, I wanted to explain that to you but when you came in so angry, I got angry and acted like an arse, instead of being reasonable with you, I.. I’m sorry.”

He said as he pulled her into a hug again feeling comfortable holding her and as she felt safe under his touch.

Draco’s tight hold was released from the girl as the two pulled away from the hug, as they did so they finally realized how close they had been standing to each other, as they were both gazing into each other’s eyes, both waiting for the other to make a move.

Draco’s arms were still snaked around her neck, and his soft touch on her neck was bringing Y/N closer and closer to him, but it was so painfully slow that Y/N couldn’t take it anymore.

She huffed as a sigh came out of her pursed lips, she felt as though she could not spend any more minutes without having his lips on hers, so she groaned as she quickly but harshly smashed her soft lips onto Draco’s plump lips as a whimper of satisfaction finally escaping her lips as she did so.

Draco was absolutely stunned and shocked by the girl’s motions and as soon as the realization of what was happening washed over him, his mouth reacted very quickly to hers, a low groan coming out of his mouth.

He absolutely adored the feeling of her lips smashed against his, as her lips felt incredibly soft and plump. Draco deepened the kiss as Y/N slowly parted her mouth, and Draco’s tongue harshly and quickly entered her mouth without any resistance as she parted her mouth ever so willingly, a small hint of redness arose to her cheeks.

His tongue slowly but surely experienced her mouth, it evoke feelings and tinglings in Y/N’s stomach that she never felt before, Draco was in a euphoric state as he was happily exploring Y/N’s mouth, his hands slowly stroked her hair, then they travelled down to her face, slowly caressing her cheeks, then it finally landed on her waist, having a quite harsh grip on it, Y/N could feel the imaginary fireworks exploding around them as their kiss deepened even more, Draco slowly bit her bottom lip, earning a low groan from the girl.

Then after what seemed like a long time, Y/N pulled away as she earned a soft groan from Draco causing her to giggle shyly, “We can continue that later.” She exclaimed as a smirk played on her lips and in return Draco licked his lips seductively as his mouth quirked up into a smile.

“I do have one question for you though.” Draco said softly as a hint of firmness and seriousness could be heard from his tone, which caused Y/N’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion as he looked up to the boy’s grey eyes in confusion, her face washed away with a hint of obvious worry.

“When do I get to hex the fuck out of Diggory?” Draco said as Y/N playfully hit him on the shoulder and giggled at the jealous boy. The two spent the entire night talking to each other, joking around and maybe even making out a little more.  

But one thing was for sure, they both felt so lucky to have finally at last that they found each other. They finally both had what they needed, someone to talk to, someone to listen to, someone to hang out with and someone to love.

taglist: @abb-lan-5sos​ @dracosathenaeum​

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy fics #draco malfoy oneshot #draco malfoy smut #harry potter #harry potter imagines #txt

[peeterparkr]

limits of desire⤳t.h.||10

chapter 10: throw your bridal shower.

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the Toblerone, the questionnaire & the lingerie

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty, fluffy, harry potter, alcohol mention, sex mention, i didn’t proof read lmao

word count: 6.3k

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

“What even is a Bridal Shower?” Sam asked. 

Tom and Haz had tried to set up the perfect bridal shower since y/n told him. They were good at planning parties at the last minute. But, those parties usually involved alcohol, music and chips. Nothing too complicated. However, a bridal shower was a whole different thing. 

Poker night was definitely going to go way different than the boys had expected it to go. For starters, Haz and Tom's house was covered in flowers, with tables and chairs around. There were cheesy signs with messages like 'Here comes the Bride', 'Put a Ring On It' and ‘Miss to Mrs.’. There were pink flowers, and in the refrigerator, to Harry's surprise, there was no space, due to the pink cheesecake, the pink chocolate cake, and the pink champagne. Haz and Tom had started shopping and decorating as soon as they had left the dance class. 

"Don't tell me the toilet is the pink too," Harry complained. 

"Alright, Tom," Tuwaine rolled his eyes. “I never thought I'd say this, but here you go...Magazines for bridesmaids, from various countries.” 

“I found videos on youtube,” said Harry. “I sent them to you.” 

“I made a board on Pinterest,” Haz said. “And i shared it with you.” 

"Although honestly, everything would be easier if you went to her hotel room and told her how you feel," Sam suggested. “You know, show up with some flowers, maybe champagne, or maybe show up with some cards, Love Actually style, and tell her how you feel.” 

“That could work,” Harry agreed. "But hey, I already ordered some pizzas and here are the beers, drink them since the fridge is full," he said while sipping his beer. 

"No ... No, you don't understand," Tom wrinkled his nose, "It's not just preventing this wedding, it's also showing her I'm not against them." 

"You're not?" Tuwaine asked condescendingly. 

Tom sighed, thinking about the blue box in his drawer. "I bought something." 

Haz raised his eyebrows. "What? A ring?”

“If you did, then…maybe you could go and propose to her,” Tuwaine suggested.

“Don’t be silly! He can’t propose to an engaged woman,” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Neither can’t he confess his love, then,” Harry added. “At this point it’s… complicated.” 

“Did you really buy a ring?” Haz asked, 

"No, no ... Nothing, nothing," Tom cleared his throat. "Now, I need to turn this place into a dream place for y / n, uh ... Actually, I also made a board on pinterest, as crazy as it sounds, I have everything here, there will be a hot chocolate bar ..." 

"Tom," Haz stopped him. "Sam made a point." 

"I know, but it's not that simple." 

"Isn't it easy to tell her that you love her?" Tuwaine laughed. "Man, I’m telling you, it took a long time for you not to tell her, already." 

"If I have waited so long I can wait longer," Tom added. “I want her to see that I can really take things seriously, you guys understand?” 

“I think rather, you are afraid, Tom,” said Harry. "I think you're afraid of being rejected as you rejected her." 

"Maybe, yes," Tom admitted. “But hey, wouldn’t you feel that way? You saw how she was looking at  Miguel, right? ” 

“ Yes, Tom, but I also saw how you danced with her today, I've never seen her have that chemistry with someone else, not even with Miguel on the night of the party, ”Haz insisted. 

"That's what it all relies on," Tom said. "She may have feelings for me, but she thinks I'm not fit for her." 

"Have you told her that you have changed?" Sam asked. 

"Yes," Tom sighed. "She doesn't believe me." 

"We need an insider," Tuwaine suggested. 

"We just need to convince not only y/n, then," said Haz. "She has a very poisonous voice there by her side." 

"Lizzie," Tom growled. "And how to make Lizzie convince herself?" 

"Ask her for help, for the party!" Sam suggested.”Maybe she’ll think you’ve changed, too!”

Tom thought about it. "Okay, okay," he said as he pulled out his phone, texting Lizzie asking about ideas for the shower of y / n. 

"I don't know," Haz hesitated. "I think Lizzie isn't so happy with y / n's wedding either." 

"Do you think so?" Tom raised his head. 

Tuwaine was the first to let out a laugh. "Tom, please, the only thing Lizzie wants in this life is for y/n  to get away from you." The other friends followed his laughter.

“Really?” Tom frowned. 

“Yeah, but I heard her speaking at the party,” Haz said. “She told Hannah how she was unsure, that y/n should not marry someone she had just met.” 

“She’s right about that,” Tom rolled his eyes. 

“But still, she doesn’t like you,” Tuwaine added. 

“Oh, no, she likes him just fine,” Sam teased. “But she’s angry Tom doesn’t like her in the same way.” 

Tom rolled his eyes, but he received a text from Lizzie. 

“Flowers, lots of flowers,” it read. 

And he knew Lizzie meant that text. Because y/n loved flowers. 

“Have the place be presentable. Fairy tale with taste, not too much.” She textured again. 

"Ah, that's fine ... Now, you have to ... Transform this men's cage into a dream place," Tom said with little desire. 

"What is a bridal shower, again?" Harry asked. “Do you have to bring strippers? Oh, what if you're the stripper for. ” 

“No, no, no! it's not a bachelorette party, ”said Tom. "Actually, uh ... I don't know, I just know that we have to do the centerpieces, oh and plan games." 

"Games, yes, I had some of that on my board on pinterest ..." Haz said. "Here it is! 30 games to do in a Bridal Shower! ” 

Harry took Haz's cell phone, reading the games. 

"great, that sounds promising," Tom said, he looked too stressed. "Hey, let's see." 

Harry read the list. "You know, most of the games are really coupley things," said Harry. “You know… for couples who have been together for a long time. It would be easy if it were you. ” 

“You could make a game like that, right? Let her understand that she doesn't know Miguel and that you Tom, are the one who should really be with her, ”Tuwaine said. 

"Yes ... Yes," Tom cleared his throat. 

"Yes, the nearly-wed game," Haz said. "I'll send a text to Miguel, I'll have him answer the questions and-" 

"You have his number?" 

"I had to spend a whole day with him, man, what did you expect?" Harrison sighed. “But, let's ask him questions and let y/n try to answer them. And vice-versa, make y/n answer a questionnaire, and we have Tom answer it. ” 

“Cool, now help me out wit these,  ‘the thanks for coming’ gifts,” Tom said, as he took out little bags. 

"Toblerones?" Asked Harry as he looked into the bag. 

"Yes..." Tom smiled. “Toblerones.” 

“And… is this Harry Potter themed? I thought the theme was pink.”

Haz laughed, “the theme is the night Tom fell in love with her.” 

——

Not far from there, y/n was not having a good time. She felt her head was going to explode. She was sure that whatever that had happened at the dancing lesson was not insignificant. She was in her hotel room, with Lizzie sitting on the edge of her bed while y/n was complaining against the pillow. 

Lizzie was drinking from her glass of wine while staying quiet.

"Are you done?" She asked her friend. 

"No," answered y / n. “I have serious problems.” 

“Needless to say.”

“I love Miguel,” said y/n, more for her than for Lizzie, who decided to remain silent. "I mean ... I don't know why I'm doing this." 

"Y / N, you’re not over Tom," Lizzie told her. 

"What are you talking about? I'm over him… No, wait, I'm not over because I was never… above him, ”Y / n closed her. eyes. "I mean ... You know what I mean." 

Lizzie poured her a glass of wine. "Okay,y/n, it's time we talked." 

"Talk about what?"

"Talk about how you have been in love with Tom for a long time already?" 

Y / N glared at her friend. "No ...that is not true." 

"Come on, y / n, I can assure you that I know the day you fell in love with him." Lizzie sighed. "it was just shortly after you met, when you had that great big  essay, you remember? The big Christmas party? We were on finals.” 

"That ..." 

"You fell in love at that time, and ... if I didn’t know Tom any better, I also believe that he fell in love at that precise moment. ” 

Y/N took a sip of her wine glass. Yes, she remembered it too.

5 years ago. 

It was cold, y/n had not stopped sneezing, and she had a mixture of tissues, notes and books around her bedroom. Her eyes were covered with dark circles and her nose was red. She was curled up while trying to read yet another book so she could finish her essay on the criticism of contemporary media, talking about free speech with legal terms and other nonsense that y/n did not remember due to her illness.

She was almost finished but, y/n, like the great student She was, she was still editing it. There was a party, Tom had invited her and her friends. Haz and he were celebrating the finals and Christmas. Honestly, it was yet another way to get girls to bed. 

Y/ n's friends had been gushing about how amazing it was that y/n was now friends with a celebrity. And they were insisting on how y/n should be dating Tom, thing which, y/n of course declined, being that because clearly Tom was not the kind of guy you go out on dates with, but someone for a one-night stand. Y/n didn’t want that.

Besides, she liked him, as a friend, of course. 

But she wasn’t going to the party, she had an essay to finish. Besides, she felt worse and worse by each second. Every second her cold was killing her. 

"Are you sure you're not going?" Rachel, her roommate, asked. “It's you whom he invited.” 

“I am sure, I don't want to risk getting even more sick, have fun, get out, and I hope you get some.” 

She had sent a text to Tom, telling him she wouldn't go to his party because her body had decided to betray her, but she wished him luck and asked him to please not sleep with any of her friends, she didn't want things to be uncomfortable. 

-C'mon, please join us, it'll be fun, you know what they say, drinking whiskey is like going to the doctor

-Who says that? 

-I just did

-I'm sorry, I really wish I could, but I need to rest, have fun, tho!

So she curled up in her bed, coughing as she covered herself. She fell asleep. But not for long because someone had knocked on her door. Y / N, covered with a blanket, approached the door, which opened only to reveal a coated Tom who had a pizza box in one hand and another box with other things under it. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked, perplexed as Tom surrounded her to enter the room. 

"I came to take care of you," Tom said. "My God, you're a mess." 

"Take care of me?" 

"Yes, I told you I would throw that party to spend time with you, you decided not to come so I assumed I would bring the fun to you," Tom said with a smile. "I will help you clean up and then we will watch a movie," Tom said, leaving the box with things on her bed and the pizza on her desk, while throwing out y/n’s tissues and cleaning up her mess. 

Y / N looked at him perplexed, with a smile, but not without , of course, sneezing.

"Hell, you sound terrible," Tom scoffed. “I believe you now, I mean I saw you with the red nose but it could’ve been makeup.” 

“What… what is this?” Y/n asked approaching the box. 

"A care package." 

Y / N burst out laughing. “Really?” 

“Yes, hey, I told you that I wanted to be your best friend, right? I think it's a good start, besides, you deserve it, I've seen you kill yourself for school, you need a break, ”Tom said, as he approached the box. "It has everything you need, I know you're old-fashioned and you still have a DVD, so I brought your favorites, Harry Potter." 

Y / N smiled as she looked at the box. It had the Harry Potter movies, vitamin C supplements, chapstick, lotion, medicine,gatorades, tissues, advils, tea bags in a new cup, popcorn, toblerones (y / n's favorites), a pair of socks and a blanket . Y / N's heart melted. 

Tom finished cleaning up the mess y/n had built up while y/n watched him and helped him with it. She saw him, for the first time, in a different way. 

"Besides, I brought pizza, because I'm sure you forgot to eat," Tom said. “Now, put on the movie, snuggle up, take your pills, while I'm going to search for some hot water for your tea, okay?” 

“But… Tom, your party,” said y/n. 

"There will be more parties, silly," Tom laughed. “A friend needs me.” 

And y/n had felt like her body was quickly warming up, and she was sure it wasn't a fever. And in that moment when she saw him smile, y/n understood many things about Tom. What she had seen from the beginning, just a few weeks ago. Tom was someone who cared. Tom was meticulous and loyal as a friend. 

And she suddenly felt that her stomach was churning, maybe she could blame the same cold, but she had decided to ignore it. Blaming it on illness, when she was completely sure that she had fallen in love with Tom. She saw it with different eyes, and although it was too early to say it, she had seen him with blind eyes. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” she told him as soon as he came back. 

“I sure did, you deserve to have fun, too,” Tom chuckled. “Look, I will also take you out for breakfast tomorrow.” 

“Hmm—breakfast?” 

“Fine, brunch so you can sleep a bit more, alright?” Tom grinned. “But actually sleep! I’ve seen how you live on coffee and you should actually sleep more.” 

Y/n chuckled, he was right. They stayed quiet for a bit. 

“The pizza is great, but you know what I’m craving right now?” She looked at him. 

“strawberry cheesecake,” Tom guessed. 

Y/N blinked. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she laughed. “I was actually thinking about that!”

Tom’s eyes widened. “No way!” 

Y/n giggled between coughs. “Yes! How could you even guess?”

Tom shrugged. “We were meant to be friends, y/n,” he smirked. “Now, let’s prove if this is destiny or not. What dessert am I craving?”

She looked him in the eyes. “I—well,” she bit her lip. “Chocolate truffle cake.” 

Tom blinked. “Now that is creepy.” 

Y/n raised her eyebrow. “Really?”

“Really, that is creepy.” 

“Maybe we read each other’s mind—“ she smiled, as she snuggled with her blanket and her old Mickey Mouse plush. 

“Still creepy,” he laughed. 

“You know, I need to take you to this bakery, it’s near here, I discovered once when it was raining and I had nowhere else to get in, it’s sooo good, they have all kinds of dessert.” 

“Like strawberry cheesecake and chocolate truffle cake?” Tom grinned. 

“Yes, like strawberry cheesecake and chocolate truffle cake.”

That had been the first of many times curled up watching Harry Potter. It became another tradition between the two of them, who shared it only with each other. And since that day, y/n had not been able to let her feelings stop growing. But Tom had taught her that he was not a good match, that Tom was simply not built for relationships. 

Which brings us back to today, where she was drinking from a glass of cheap wine in a hotel room with Lizzie. 

"I'm not in love with him," said Y / N, trying to convince her friend. 

"You are," Lizzie told her. "Y / N are you sure you're going to marry a man when you love someone else?" 

"I don't know, Lizzie, it's complicated," said y / n. “It's… I love Miguel, he loves me like someone should love me. I don't have to beg him for his love, do you understand? Miguel doesn't go around reminding me that he can't love me. ”

“ Y / N. ” 

“ Maybe, Lizzie, I was in love with Tom, I can't… I don't know, I think it's something that had to happen, and you're right, It all happened that night, when he decided not to go to his party to take care of me, ”she smiled as she remembered. 

“Yeah.” 

“But, being honest, Lizzie, why wouldn't I fall in love with him? Have you thought about that?  I mean, he ... he gave everything for me, that night is just one of many, I thought maybe he felt something too. I mean, how many times didn't he pull an all-nighter himself to help me with an exam? Or how many times wasn't he there comforting me to cry with me? It was... the little details, from knowing my favourite chocolate to knowing that I accumulate notebooks. ” 

“ I know. ” 

“ But, it seems I always found a way to avoid it, as if every time he knew he was doing something to make me fall in love… He was with another girl, and yet with another girl. ” 

“ I know, I was one of the victims, I was an aware victim, though. ” 

“ You were? ” 

“ Y / N, the last time I slept with him was to prevent you from doing it, we both know Tom, he always plays that little game with you, he always looked forward to playing with you and ... And I saw that several times that you were just about to give in, but, as someone who once slept with him, I didn't want you to feel that, you know? I didn't want you to suffer that particular disappointment, ”Lizzie said with a little guilt. “Oh, I don't know,y/n.” 

“Come again?” 

“I think I saw the way you saw him, and sometimes I came to think that Tom felt the same about you and then… Then he did those things, and he turned around to flirt with whoever was in the room. ” 

“ Thank you for bringing that back, ” y/n sighed, gulping down her wine.

"Tom doesn't know how to love,y/n, or ... or maybe he does, I don't know, he's scared, that's what I see, and being honest, I can't stand it," Lizzie said. “Because in spite of everything, he is the man who has made my best friend cry the most.” 

She was right. 

“No… I don't know,” y/n ignored her gaze, knowing she was right. "But he's also a very good friend." 

"I can't deny that," Lizzie said. “But I think, I think you have to let him go.” 

“I know,” said y/n . “I tried that, I did that, and for six months, I was fine, I missed him too much, because… He's my best friend, and he's always there for me.” 

“As long as you have him close,” Lizzie told him. "You'll continue with that doubt, with that hope." 

"But you saw him today, right?" Y / N insisted. "You saw how he looked at me, and… oh Lizzie, when I was dancing with him, I felt ... I felt everything, even more than with Miguel." 

The two finished their drinks and Lizzie filled them again. They remained silent, while pretending to watch the background film they had been playing all this time. 

"Y/N are you sure you want to get married?" Lizzie asked. "I understand that you want to forget Tom, but is getting married necessary?" 

Y/N did not answer suddenly but looked at her cell phone. She had a photo of Miguel as her background, as if to remind herself that he was her fiancé and not Tom. However, when unlocking it, she had a picture with Tom. She checked her notifications, and there was what she needed, a message from Miguel. Poetry, Said poetry she loved. 

“Laugh at the night, at the day, at the moon, laugh at the twisted streets of the island, laugh at this clumsy boy who loves you, but when I open my eyes and close them, when my steps go, when my steps return, deny me bread, air, light, spring, but never your laughter for I would die. ” 

Y/N smiled to herself.

"Yes, I want to marry Miguel,"  she said confidently. “I just need to see a picture with him to remember why I want to do it, I guess… I guess I'm having all these thoughts because I know I'm going to let Tom go, forever.” 

“Forever?” 

“Yes , I don't want to live tied to him, and if I don't let him go ... I'll stay there like a fool, dancing with him just to see how he goes and ends up sleeping with another girl, I can't keep hopeful in that fantasy of him finally falling in love with me, ”y/n reminded her. "So ... after the wedding, I don't know ... Well, for starters, I'll stay there with Miguel, I'm going to leave London." 

Lizzie approached to hug her. "Take me with you. You can't leave me. ” 

Y / N let out a small, forced laugh. “I have to go, and I will, because I will love Miguel, and we will build a life together.” 

“Is that what you want?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, y/n,” said Lizzie, as she looked at her cellphone, she erased her last notification. 

"Am I crazy?" Asked y/n.

"Very crazy, but I think Miguel will do you good," Lizzie told her. "However, if you're going to get Tom out of your life ... And after being so many years in love with him ..." 

"What?" 

"Well, if I were you, I'd have a little fun," Lizzie hinted with a smile. “I mean, you both would have to get each other out of your lives, then…” 

“Lizzie! You're saying that… ” 

“Yes, sleep with Tom, ”Lizzie laughed. "What could go wrong?" 

"I am engaged!" Claimed y / n. 

"That didn't stop you today," Lizzie reminded her. “Think about it, it was a joke… But, it would be good if you actually knew who you were in love with.” 

“Lizzie!” 

“Y/N! You’ve been in love with him for five years now. You’re getting married! And you’re never going to see him again, sleep with him, then he will have to kick you out it of his life and you will have to kick him out of your life, and you’re good! And you won’t live without knowing what it was like to sleep with probably the love of your life!” 

“He’s—not the love of my life,” lied y/n. “Miguel is.” 

“Whatever! You know you want to sleep with Tom!” Insisted Lizzie. 

“No, no. That is why I have to go back to Mexico, I will continue with that plan! if I spend 10 more minutes alone with him, I will not be able to control myself. ” 

“Do what you want y/n, ”Lizzie laughed. "It was just an idea." 

Y / N rolled her eyes. “Idiot.” 

“Oh, sometimes I appreciate that you didn't sleep with him,” Lizzie laughed, while y / n now served them both more wine. 

Y / N shook her head. They were silent for a while, watching the movie that was in the background. 

“Was he…” Y / N cleared her throat. “Was he good?” 

Lizzie smirked and raised her eyebrows. "Very." 

Y/N laughed. "I mean, with all that experience, wouldn't expect anything else." 

Lizzie laughed. "Boy knows his ways," she admitted. "And tell me ... Miguel?" 

"It's ..." Y / N flushed. "Well, nothing to do with the British guys ... He moves differently." 

"Different good?" 

"Oh, definitely, different better!" Y/n chuckled. 

Both friends started laughing to each other and gushed about the other guys they'd dated. Having fun, remembering fun anecdotes. 

—

Y/N had showed up to her bridal shower with just a slight hangover. Big was her surprise when it wasn’t a disaster. It was… perfect. Pink, very pink, but perfect. With a few touches of white and yellow thanks to the flowers Tom had chosen. 

It was cheesy but with taste, and incredibly nice. Tom served pizza, which perfectly captured y/n’s request of ‘nothing too big’. There were some big pillows on the floor where they’d be playing after. It reminded y/n of a slumber party of sorts. 

Tom was the only man around, because he was her maid of honor, of course. He was nervous and he seemed a bit out of character. Although, he had been acting that way since y/n had come back.

“Lizzie, hello,” he greeted her. 

“I’m impressed,” she admitted. “This is the best shower I’ve been to.” 

“Really?” Tom cleared his throat. “Thank you, I hope y/n likes it.” 

Lizzie raised her eyebrows at him. “What’s the theme, though? I mean… it’s lovely—“

“Ah it’s… pink, I guess,” Tom lied. “Pink slumber.” 

Lizzie gave him an authentic smile. “With strawberry cheesecake and pink chocolate cake, I see… and I saw you had some Harry Potter hints, too.” 

“Well, y/n loves Harry Potter, I guess I just threw in a bit of what she loves,” Tom accepted. 

“I see,” Lizzie gave him a sad smile. 

The party continued, and y/n, with a glass of champagne on her hand, eventually approached Tom. 

“Tom, this is adorable,” she told him. 

“I’m glad,” he grinned. 

Y/N was nibbling on a Toblerone. “I’m… seriously, thank you so much.” 

“I’m not going to lie, I was going to a Mexican themed party, but I realized that I could’ve gone in a… totally not appropriate way and that would’ve been bad, so the theme is… Pink, simpler, nicer.” 

Y/n chuckled. “Yeah, and oh thanks for the Toblerone, I totally love these,” she chuckled as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “You look nice today.” 

Tom blushed looking down. “Thanks, you look… spectacular, that dress is beautiful.” 

Y/N smiled but cleared her throat. “Oh… eh, and I just… wanted to thank you for coming to the dancing lessons with me.” 

“Anything for you,” Tom said looking into her eyes. 

Y/N blinked. There it was again, that promise which held so much but his love. 

Tom smiled. “And oh, listen, the only Mexican thing is the music, listen to it, it’s… lovely,” he said turning the volume higher. “this is actually a song named ‘Solamente Una Vez’, am I pronouncing that right?” 

Y/n chuckled. “Yes, I think.” 

“Well, it’s a song… About falling in love just once,” he said looking into her eyes. 

Y/N cleared her throat as she gulped down her champagne. “Nice, uh… Did Miguel recommend it?” 

Tom closed his eyes. “No… He, he didn’t.” 

Y/N looked away, Lizzie quickly saw her and ran to save her. 

“Tom, let’s start with the games!” She suggested. 

Soon enough they were gathered around on the pillows and on the couch, waiting for the games that Tom had prepared. They were all cheerful, and happy. 

Tom chuckled. “Well, as you may know, I don’t truly know how these things work. Maybe I went a little over the top,” he announced. “I feel weird being surrounded by all these women.” 

“Are you really, though?” Lizzie nudged Rachel, who was definitely not happy to be there.

 Tom blushed, clearing his throat. “Anyway, uh--” 

Y/N glared at Lizzie. “It’s amazing, Tom, thank you.” 

“I had to do a little research, because I thought initially this was supposed to be the bachelorette party… And I didn’t have time to cancel the strippers!” 

Anna, y/n’s mom’s eyes widened. “Tom!” 

He laughed. “No, I’m joking, I’m joking… But with uh, the little research I made, the bridal shower is to…” Tom gulped. “Support the marriage and celebrate the bride,” Tom said looking at y/n. “The beautiful and most amazing bride.” 

Y/N chuckled and mouthed a thank you to Tom. 

“Enough of this,” Lizzie yelled. “Let’s play the games.” 

“Well, I thought it’d be a good time to quiz all of us on knowing the bride,” Tom smirked. “I’m gonna pass some… questionnaires and we will see who knows her the best, we will also be competing against the groom,” Tom laughed. “Who was kind enough to send his answers by text.” 

They laughed and started filling it up. 

Y/N looked at the questions, and bit her lip. There was no way in which Miguel could’ve answered all of them right. Probably, the only one who could really answer them all was… Tom. 

“Well, let’s start, an easy one, okay?” Tom grinned. “Uh, where did the bride and groom meet each other?” he asked. “Y/N, love, mind checking my answers while I check Miguel’s?” 

Y/n smiled at Tom. “Mexico, when I was stuck in a rainstorm.” 

Tom grinned. “Who got that one correct? Check all your answers then. And let’s see, Miguel got that one correct.” 

“Wait, uh, Tom… “Lizzie intruded. “I’ll… ask the next one, and we can keep asking them.” 

Tom shrugged. “As you wish.” 

Lizzie looked down. “What’s y/n signature drink?” 

“Iced coffee…” Y/n answered. “But…Pink mimosas if we’re talking alcohol,” she chuckled, winking.  

Tom chuckled. “And… the groom’s answer was… Beer and… Tequila” Tom raised his eyebrows. “I think Miguel thinks he’s dating me, instead.” 

Y/N chuckled. “Okay, to be fair with him, back in Mexico, I did only drink just that,” she admitted. She looked down at Tom’s answer. ‘Iced coffee, except when it’s cold, then hot cocoa, and pink mimosas if it’s alcohol’. Y/N gulped. 

They continued with more questions, some of them Miguel guessed correctly, but most of them he didn’t. However, each question, Tom had guessed it correctly and with all the ‘buts and whys’ answered right beside it. He knew her, entirely. And she had kept drinking from her champagne while either of her friends refilled her glass. 

“What’s her go-to karaoke song?” Y/N’s mom asked after a few questions. “Easy, I can answer it, Dancing Queen!” 

“While that answer is partly correct Anna,” Tom chuckled. “That’s only when she’s sober.” 

Y/N blushed embarrassed. Her mother stared at y/n chuckling. 

“Oh yes, her rendition of Toxic, might be the best I’ve seen,” Hannah laughed. “The choreography.” 

Y/N laughed, embarrassed. She was still sober enough to know she wouldn’t need to perform it. That didn’t mean she would. 

“I’ve got to differ,” y/n answered. “While both of those options are correct… Tom was the one who guessed it fair and square,” Y/N chuckled awkwardly as she stared at his answers. Her three go-to karaoke songs were there. 

“You all missed ‘You’re the One that I want’ from Grease,” Tom laughed watching her. “Shall we?” He asked as he looked for his phone, and searched for the song. “No, no, I’m not doing it,” Y/N laughed, while their friends cheered. 

“Oh my god,” Anna giggled. 

Tom stood up, reaching for y/n’s hand. “C’mon,” he said before starting the song. The piano gave y/n’s chills. 

She smirked. “Tell me about it, stud,” she said. 

The rest of the party continued, after y/n’s and Tom’s performance, it suddenly got more interesting. But nothing too weird, Tom hadn’t really done anything wrong and y/n was just waiting for him to hook up with one of her friends. He didn’t. He hadn’t even flirted with them, he had only smiled and listened to them, but no flirting. He had remained incredibly decent and had only paid attention to y/n. Maybe, y/n thought, he was no longer afraid to flirt with her because he thought that y/n wouldn’t fall because she was engaged. Little did he know that was the bigger problem. 

The questionnaire had remained on her head, for the rest of the party. Miguel hadn’t been able to answer most of the questions. His answers had been incredibly naive and basic, while Tom’s were on point, as that question about her favourite movie in which he answered: ‘She says her favourite movie is Death Poet Society, which it is, but The Princess Diaries might be her actual favourite.’

But the party ended, it had been perfect. And y/n wasn’t sure if had been the recent conversation she had had with Lizzie, or if it actually was themed to that night. Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about it. The pizza, the Toblerone, the Harry Potter things and the blankets. Maybe it was her imagining stuff. 

That didn’t impede her, of course, from booking her flight to Monday that very next monday. She hadn’t told Tom. But she had asked him to go shopping the next day with her, with Lizzie’s idea still roaming on her head. Hooking up with Tom one last time before she got married. As a cleanse. But it wouldn’t make any sense. 

Besides, she needed to know where he was in that situation, which brought her to the next day after the party, Saturday, only two days before her flight. A stupid decision, really, to bring him over to check on some ‘clothing’. She had stalled, because she really didn’t want to see it. 

However, Tom had been perfect. A perfect maid of honour, he had asked been her confidant, asking if she was actually ready to do all of this. 

Tom had been particularly quiet and seemed to have his head elsewhere, but he was still there. 

They were walking past the particular shop wanted to visit. Victoria Secret. 

“I need to check the lingerie,” she sentenced as she dragged him to the shop. Tom turned red. 

“What?” 

“For the wedding night!” Y/N chuckled, seeing him turning tense.

“Well, check it with Liz! Or Hannah! Not with me,” Tom coughed, awkwardly. “No.” 

“Are you crazy? You’re the perfect person for this job! Who’s taken more lingerie than you?” She laughed as she walked over to see the babydolls, and the teddy’s. 

Tom squeezed his eyes shut. “Fair point.” 

He followed after her. 

“Let’s put your whoring to some use,” she laughed. 

Tom followed after her. He was sweating. 

“You get nervous around underwear?” Y/N teased. 

“I can’t be recognized here,” he mumbled. “Especially not with an engaged woman,” Tom reminded her. 

Y/N laughed. “Ah, please, people know we’re just friends.” 

“Are we,” he mumbled, but y/n chose to ignore it. 

She kept going through the racks as Tom tried to ignore her, scrolling through his phone, texting, until y/n walked into the fitting room. 

“So, have you talked to… Miguel?” Tom asked as he strolled in front of the room. 

“Yes, yes, I...can’t wait to see him again. 

“Of course,” Tom answered. “Well… Uh, yn? I have to thank you.” 

“Me? I should be thanking you… the bridal shower was incredible,” Y/N told him as she put on one of the red teddy’s she had chosen. 

“Right… But I have to thank you, for well, asking me to be your maid of honour, yeah… it’s gonna sound crazy, but you’ve really opened my eyes to the whole idea of marriage.” 

Y/N stayed quiet, thinking about the ring she had found in his drawer. She faked a laugh. “Right.” 

“I mean it,” he said. 

“Have… you met someone Tom?” She asked him, not wanting to hear a very specific answer. 

“No.” 

“Then how can you be serious? I mean, would you buy a ring without having a girlfriend?” Y/N questioned. 

He sighed. “I don’t know I just…. I don’t know.” 

Y/N bit her lip, before she walked out of the fitting room, slowly, staring into his eyes.

 He chuckled as he sat down. “Well?” 

She smirked as she batted her eyes before walking out with a pink and black corset, tied to the black pantyhose she was wearing. 

She walked over in the sexiest way she could, with a slow pace and a lascivious look, seeing Tom getting red and flustered. His mouth opened in awe as she smirked before twirling a finger around her hair. 

Tom’s eyes couldn’t be more opened as y/n saw him practically undress her with his sight. 

“Well, you think Miguel will like it?” She popped the question. 

Tom suddenly shook his head and coughed. “No.” He looked away. Before chuckling and walking over. 

“It’s… just…” Tom giggled. “Cute.” 

Cute? He had basically already eaten her three times with the glance he had given her and he said it was cute? 

“Cute? I don’t wanna look cute on my wedding night!” Y/N complained. 

Tom rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s how you’ll look, you’re… cute, y/n,” He gulped. “Maybe try something else.” 

Y/N sighed, before getting back to try on more. 

Eventually, she decided on one, even if Tom wasn’t convinced. This had been the first time he wasn’t all supportive of everything, but he seemed flustered. 

Y/N had insisted on going to the bakery, where she wanted to talk alone with him, she was finally telling him. 

“So… why did we come today? It’s Saturday? Are we seeing more wedding stuff related, tomorrow? We’re still up for brunch, right?” 

“Tom… No, it’s… it’s my last day in London.” 

Tom blinked. “What?” 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, but… I didn’t know how I’m… I’m moving to Mexico with Miguel and I… Tomorrow’s my last day in London.” 

And it was probably her last Sunday with Tom.

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[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

The Lives We Lost - Request

Requested by  @ archiekins-ronnie: cAN I PLEASE HAVE A HARRY POTTER IMAGINE!! happy and angsty pls?? maybe like they have a one night stand before the war and she ends up pregnant but they dont know and when they find out shes pregnant, its too late and the baby ends up dyinf. but in the end theyre happy and fluff pls?

Pairing: Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: 3.393

Warnings: Not edited, I changed a bit from the original story. I wrote this by memory. Trigger warning: baby loss. I don’t know what it feels like, nor the emotional pain of the loss, so I’ve you’ve been through this, please understand this.

A/N: First of all, I’m not sure if magic actually works the way I wrote but screw it. I had to change the timeline a bit, and also I tried avoiding certain scenes because, if you’re reading this, I’m assuming you already read the books and/or watched the movie so it’s unnecessary. It’s also the first fic I wrote about Harry Potter since I took my break, and I haven’t rewatched the movies nor reread the books in a while so please be patient.

Enjoy!

The war had started out of a sudden. The lives of innocents were being taken, and there was no place left to hide. It was terrifying. The world was covered in a darkness that - they feared - would never fade away.

Mothers hid their children behind the walls, up in their attics and some of them even sent them away. Muggleborns slept with one eye open, fearing that death would come at any time, and even pure-blooded families feared that they would be forced to join the Dark Lord’s side.

During the last nights of peace - fake peace - Harry had tried drowning his sorrow in alcohol, for it was the only thing that could cover up reality, replacing it with wonderous visions of the pink-coloured life he wished for.

There was a waitress, who appeared once Harry was absolutely drunk. She was beautiful as a lily, and had the fearless attitude of a lion. She’d laugh at Harry’s jokes, and always talked from a clever point of view.

It was inevitable for them to, eventually, end up together in one of those rooms the Leaky Cauldron rented for passerby witches and wizards.

Their lips found each other’s when the sun was starting to come out. Harry had drunk all night long, and she had been his company throughout the whole process. She was comprehensive, and had a deep attachment to the boy who lived, because she saw him not as a saviour but as a poor fellow who had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She was about to leave - her shift was over - when Harry managed to grab her arm. She looked down at the drunken boy, all sweaty and blushed.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, “Stay with me, I don’t want to…”

“To what, Harry?” She inquired, knowing exactly what he meant.

“To die.”

She knew what he meant. It didn’t involve Voldemort, nor a Death Eater, nor anything anyone else could think of; he meant die by his own hand. He was too young to live with that pressure, yet he managed somehow to survive each year… But, during the past nights, with all the events going on, he had considered the easy way out - easy for someone whose loved ones’ lives didn’t depend on them - and she knew it, she knew it because he confessed it night after night, between whispers and tacky jokes. She knew it, because he had told her more than once, not only with words but with actions, glances and silent tears.

“I’m taking you to your room,” She said, helping him up and then guiding him to the upper floor and then to his room.

Harry allowed her to drag him around the place. She made him sit on his bed and take his shoes off, she placed a bucket by the side of the bed, just in case, and closed the curtains to avoid the sun from leaking in.

“You don’t have to do that,” Harry observed. His tongue was clumsy, due to the alcohol he had consumed.

“I know,” She replied, turning to look down at him.

“Are you going to stay?” He asked, giving her the best puppy eyes he, under the effects of alcohol, could do.

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m your waitress, that’s all.”

“I thought we were friends,” Harry chuckled sadly.

“Only at night… You ask, I pour, you drink, I listen… That’s how it works.”

“What about day time?”

“Huh?”

“You said we were friends at night, what about day time?” Harry insisted, trying to get up from bed.

“During day time, we don’t know each other,” She answered, as she pushed Harry back to the bed.

“I think we should get to know each other,” Harry slurred and kissed her softly.

His lips were dry and he tasted of gin and that frisky potion he decided to try that night. There was also a slight taste of salt and something else - the taste of warmth.

“Stay with me, please, just today,” Harry begged over her lips.

And so she stayed.

That night, when she returned to work, Harry was no longer at his usual table at the corner. The clerk told her that two wizards had gone to look for him an hour after she left his room and had taken him to a secret location.

“He was too exposed here, I suppose,” The clerk commented.

“He was,” She nodded and got to work, willing to forget about that black haired boy.

Two months later, the whole Wizarding World was out of control. There were Death Eaters all over the place, killing innocent mudbloods and recruiting young purebloods to their army.

(Y/N) had managed to stay out of the radar by pretending to be a muggle; she had moved to a muggle restaurant to continue working as a waitress, had hidden away every magical artifact inside an enchanted trunk that was supposed to cover all magic traces.

She lived like that for a whole month. Just when she thought she was going to make it past the war, somebody knocked on her flat’s door.

She opened, fearing the person on the other side was an enemy, and was surprised to see three strange looking teenagers. One had titanium blonde hair and quirky eyes, the other one was a red haired with her face covered face, and the third was the only male in the group, with chubby cheeks and dark hair.

“We need your help,” he spoke.

“Who are you?” (Y/N) inquired, although she was certain to have seen them around.

“We’re Potter’s friends,” the blonde one said, “he told us you could help.”

“Help with what?”

After a very short explanation and a lot of begging, the three kids convinced her to go back to the magic world and help them take care of refugees. She knew the Diagon Alley like the palm of her hand, and so she could be plenty helpful for them.

When she returned, she couldn’t help but notice how changed everything was. The only colour out on the Diagon Alley was coming from the Weasley Twins’ store, and yet it looked brim and dying.

She got to work with Aberforth Dumbledore, helping refugees to cross from Hogsmeade to the Alley and back to the muggle world, and vice versa. It was dangerous, but it was required for her fellow witches and wizards to be safe.

One particular night, the boy who lived returned to the Leaky Cauldron, followed by his two best friend, Ron and Hermione. Neither (Y/N) or the clerk knew why exactly they had returned there, knowing it would be the first place where Death Eaters would look for him.

“I need to get back to Hogwarts,” he explained to the clerk. (Y/N) was hiding in the back, eavesdropping on the conversation.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place, but we must be quick before the Death Eaters know you’re here,” the clerk urged, “(Y/N)! Prepare the portrait.”

“(Y/N)?” Harry gasped, “Last time I heard from her, she had escaped the magic world.��

“Well, she’s back, and she’s been very helpful.” The clerk shrugged his shoulders and turned around to go look for (Y/N), who hadn’t replied instantly.

“Is (Y/N) the waitress you told us about?” Ron asked in a whisper.

“I’m afraid so,” Harry answered.

“You think she hates you?” Ron asked again.

“Why would she hate him? He did nothing wrong, and I’m sure she’s absolutely comprehensive about the situation,” Hermione defended.

“Well, I’m just asking, you know how girls get when..:”

“When what?” Hermione interrupted Ron.

“Nevermind,” Ron sighed.

“NEVERMIND! Are you serious? You think us girls get all weepy for you guys because your ego is so inflated that…”

“STOP!” Harry exclaimed, “This is no time for discussing, and if you raise your voice once more we are risking to be heard from the outside.”

“You’re right, sorry,” Hermione apologised.

“I’m sorry,” Ron mumbled and then both of them fell into an absolute silence.

The clerk returned to the trio. “She’ll be out in a second, she’s just not feeling well.”

“I told you,” Ron whispered and Hermione elbowed his ribs. “Ouch!”

“What do you mean? Is there anything we can do?”

“No, it’s fine, she’s just… I don’t know, she’s been feeling sick lately, but I guess it’s just the stress from the war and all that,” the clerk dismissed.

“All right,” Harry nodded.

(Y/N) went out with a loud exhalation and Harry instantly locked his eyes to hers. She smiled just like she did whenever her shift started and had to go to Harry’s table.

“Hey, Potter,” she greeted and moved past the bar and to a portrait of an old witch that was hanging in the further wall.

“Hey, (Y/N)” Harry greeted as well and followed her.

(Y/N) started talking to the old hag, who was asleep. Waking her up was no easy task, and that was the exact reason why that portrait was picked to work as a secret passage - there was no way a stranger could open it.

“Another one!” The witch complained.

“Three, actually,” (Y/N) muttered.

“Why? WHY? I was dreaming of being saved by Sir Cadogan and you woke me up to help three intruders into the town!”

“Shhh!” (Y/N) begged, “Please, it’s very important for us to get your help.”

The witch crossed her arms in front of her and closed her eyes, as an attempt to ignore them. (Y/N) turned back to the trio, apologetically, “She’s been doing this lately, but she’ll agree soon,” she explained.

“I won’t, not this time,” the old hag snapped back, opening only one eye.

“We must hurry,” the clerk rushed and took a chance into convincing the witch.

Suddenly, the main door got blown away by a very powerful spell. Five Death Eaters marched inside, with their masks on and their wands aimed. Without further notice, a small battle started. Rays of light hit the walls and floors, destroying whatever they touched.

The golden trio had taken the front row, defending themselves and (Y/N) and the clerk from the curses casted by the Death Eaters, and throwing counter attacks in an attempt to stop them.

“I’ll fix this, you go help,” the clerk ordered (Y/N). He was a squib, and so he couldn’t do much but try to convince the witch to let them through.

(Y/N) took her wand out, something she hadn’t done in a long time, and started casting basic spells. She was out of practice, and her spells weren’t quite as powerful, and yet she was a big help to the trio, for she was a good distraction.

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” One of the Death Eaters casted towards (Y/N), and hit her right in the belly. Harry, Hermione and Ron instantly turned their focus to the poor girl, and this was taken as an advantage by the Death Eaters, who vanished in a matter of seconds.

(Y/N) fell on her back and began to breathe heavily. She became pale and started sweating, and Harry quickly reached to her, wrapping her in his arms.

“Why isn’t she dying?” Ron inquired. That spell was known to work for an instant kill.

“I don’t know,” Hermione replied.

(Y/N) screeched in agony, and then looked down. A pool of blood was growing between her legs; the spell had done its job, except it had taken someone else’s life.

“No, no, no, no,” (Y/N) cried as she realised what had happened.

“We must take her to a hospital,” Hermione commanded, kneeling by her side.

Harry was speechless, crying with (Y/N), feeling deep inside that the baby could’ve been his.

“Hogwarts has a working nursery, you must take her with you,” the clerk spoke. Hermione noticed the witch from the portrait was gone. “She’s asking for entry, don’t worry. Take (Y/N) with you.”

“Who’s going to protect you? Those Death Eaters noticed the portrait, they will come back for you.” Ron said.

“I will leave as soon as you cross, and the witch won’t return after crossing you, that was her condition for this one favour,” The clerk solved.

The witch came back and opened the portrait. Behind it, there was an empty passageway. Harry carried (Y/N) in his arms, for she had fainted, and ran inside. “Thank you,” he said, “I’ll make sure she’s safe,” and with that he disappeared into the darkness.

“Please, run away,” Hermione begged, “you’ve been of great help, we will never forget it. Thank you.” She followed Harry.

Ron handed the clerk some smoke bombs from the Weasley store, “these will give you extra time,” he said and followed his friends after thanking him. The clerk shut the portrait immediately.

They would find out later that he got killed when trying to escape the Leaky Cauldron. There were Death Eaters behind the main door, who attacked him right after he opened it. His body couldn’t be retrieved.

When (Y/N) woke up, she was at the Great Hall. It had been a long time since she had even been to Hogwarts, and it was extremely different.

The blonde girl that had asked her to help them was by her side. She introduced herself as Luna, and tried to explain to her what had happened during the time after her fainting.

The war had unleashed, and she had to be taken to the Great Hall, to make sure she was taken care of. Madame Pomfrey had put a spell on her to sleep for as long as her body healed, and therefore nothing else could wake her up.

“Where’s Harry?” (Y/N) asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m afraid he’s done something silly,” Luna said, in the most serious voice tone anyone would ever hear in her.

(Y/N) took a look around. There were plenty of corpses and injured kids around her, and the least damaged ones were helping them to heal their wounds and retrieve the bodies. She could hear and see the teachers she had known before crying over their dead students, friends and families mourning deaths while wrapping bandages around bloody limbs. The dark lord had been “kind” enough to give them time to get back up.

(Y/N) didn’t think twice. She got up from the floor, ignoring her still aching womb, and started helping everyone she could. She felt terrible for not being able to help during the war.

“Everyone come out!” A voice cried from the Great Hall’s door, and they all obeyed.

Lord Voldemort was leading his troupe to the Main Entrance. They weren’t wearing masks, and (Y/N) could recognise some faces from afar for being regular clients at the Leaky Cauldron, clients who had been nice to her. Hagrid was carrying something in his arms, and everyone around (Y/N) started mumbling suggestions about what that could be.

It was Harry.

“Harry Potter is dead!” Volvermort exclaimed, and burst into laughter. His Death Eaters followed along, as McGonagall cried out a loud “NO!” that surprised all of her students, for she hadn’t ever done such sound before. (Y/N) burst into tears, along with everyone else.

He was the boy who lived. They all risked their lives to save him, and defeat the dark lord, and it had all been in vain. A good man, friend, lover, was gone and the enemy had succeeded.

For (Y/N), Harry’s death meant she had to overcome not only the death of her child, but also the death of said child’s father.

Voldemort gave a strange speech, which (Y/N) ignored completely, for she was too focused in her sorrow to even listen to anything else. However, she did notice Neville Longbottom walking forward to the army of Death Eaters, who mocked him carelessly.

“I want to say something,” he said, and Voldemort allowed him to continue. “It doesn’t matter that Harry is gone, people die every day. Friends, family… Yeah, we lost Harry tonight, but he’s still with us in here,” he pointed to his heart, “and so is Fred, Remus, Tonks, all of them. They didn’t die in vain, but you will, cause you’re wrong!”

(Y/N) zoned out once more, she swore to have noticed Harry’s chest moving from afar.

“For all of us!” Neville finished and Harry jumped out of Hagrid’s arms. (Y/N) lost her breath, just like everyone else, whose faces turned into smiles.

The war started again, except this time was a bit less violent for tons of Death Eaters vanished in the act, fearing to be on the wrong side.

(Y/N) fought with all her might, teaming up with strangers against the remaining Death Eaters. There was hope in everyone’s eyes, hope that they might win the fight after all. Harry was alive, and just like the prophecy claimed, he would end the Dark Lord’s reign of horror.

Everything afterwards was blurry. Blinded by adrenaline, (Y/N) fought her way back to the Main Entrance, and then Harry faced Voldemort and succeeded. They had won, the Battle was over.

They had to retrieve a couple more bodies, and heal lots of new wounds, but the vibes in the castle had changed from what (Y/N) woke up to. There were, of course, people still mourning but there were also some that celebrated their victory.

Some were tired of fighting and wanted to get back home, some others found nothing else to do but dance without any music at all, and laugh at whatever they could, trying to feel alive and happy again.

(Y/N) sat at one of the tables, she had just finished wrapping a young girl’s arm. She had tried to stop a curse with it, and ended up with a big, opened wound.

Harry’s eyes met hers, and so he walked towards her and sat by her side.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I woke up to a battle, I used illegal curses against one of my favourite customers because he turned out to be a Death Eater, I’ve wrapped around twenty different wounds and helped a kid find her mother… I’m just overwhelmed.” She said and Harry chuckled, “But of course, nothing compares to dying and then coming back to life and fighting with Lord Voldemort and actually getting to kill him.”

“It was nothing, really,” Harry joked, and (Y/N) giggled.

“It feels weird to laugh about it,” she mumbled, “it feels weird to even say his name without fearing he’ll come back… because he won’t, right?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” Harry said, looking around him.

“What’s on your mind, Potter?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about what happened at the Leaky Cauldron,” he whispered, “I mean, you are here, talking to me after being hit by a killing curse.”

“Maybe I’m a ghost,” she joked sadly.

“It’s surreal,” he said, “the fact that the baby protected you with this mother and baby bond… It’s basically what happened to me when Voldemort killed my parents.”

“Like father like son, then,” She muttered, “except this time the baby saved the mother.”

“So it was mine,” Harry sighed.

“I’m afraid so… You were the only one I was with during this whole thing and… yeah.”

“So what comes next?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

“We could find out together,” Harry suggested, she chuckled.

“We barely know each other, and I’m sure this is the first time I have a conversation with you being sober,” She argued.

“All right then,” he extended his hand towards her, “My name in Harry Potter, I just killed Voldemort, and I would really like to have some company right now.”

“You mean as friends?” She inquired.

“At first, yes, and if anything happens afterwards then so be it,” He solved.

(Y/N) smiled tenderly and shook his hand. “Hey, Harry, I’m (Y/N) and I’m no longer a waitress. I would also like to have some company right now.”

Harry smiled back, getting lost in her eyes for a second without separating their hands. The rest of the people around them kept on moving around, but they remained still for a couple seconds, feeling as if the world had vanished the moment they held hands.

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[fanfictionhub]

Now or Never (Sirius Black x Reader)

Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauders Era

Word count: 1839

Warnings: Swearing 

Also Starring: My OC Daisy, My OC Juniper (mentioned), The Giant Squid

Request: HEY Can I request a Sirius x hufflepuff reader scenario were the reader has hella guts. She hates him and the feelings are equal. Then they have a huge fight (as angsty and sad as you can) and then he crosses the line and the reader is dumbfounded and left empty. She stops attending classes and isolates herself. And after some time he finds her, they fight once again and he grabs and kisses her.

Author: Georgia / @siriusyblack

A/N: I changed a bit on this so I hope you don’t mind, nonnie. Thanks for requesting, and requests are currently open, as are applications to join the network! :)

So there’s this guy…

He’s tall. Strong. Confident, and all the insolent charm that goes with it. And handsome – Merlin – he’s handsome, all chiselled edges and wandering eyes, a sharp dash of a grin and a smoky voice. He’s a walking, talking patchwork of wild nights and broken hearts, and you’re pretty sure he could swindle just about anyone out of their entire fortune with a graceful smirk and a wink.

His book-bag reads ‘Sirius’ in a purposely untidy scribble, and it’s the same name that’s trapped inside hopeful love hearts because just about every girl forms some sort of crush on him at some point in their life. And he’s a contradiction of nature, a puzzle to the human mind, because he’s smart except for when he’s an idiot, and he’s kind, except for when he’s a complete and utter asshole.

And you’re absolutely sick of it.

“I want to kill something,” you seethe, as you drop beside your best friend, Daisy.

“Oh boy,” she sighs in her usual, gloomy matter, “What did he do this time?”

“So he tells me he’s ‘sorry’ and I give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him and then we – you know – anyway, when it’s all over, do you know what he says?”

Daisy blinks.

“He says ‘I’ll send you an owl.’ That was a week ago.” Daisy’s brows crease as you rest your elbows on your knees and bury your face in your hands, “It’s like he thinks this relationship is a switch and he can flick it on and off whenever he likes and I’m so sick of it. But you wouldn’t understand because you have Juniper as your girlfriend…”

Daisy awkwardly pats your shoulder, studying you with her dark, shrewd eyes, “Do you want me to poison him? I’m brewing a new batch right now, actually.”

Your head snaps up at the sound of ‘poison’ and you raise your brows. “No! I think we just need to have a serious chat about where this rela–whatever it is – is going. Besides, we talked about poisoning people last time, and you promised–”

“–I didn’t promise anything. But fine, I guess.”

You draw a careful smile onto your face at the concern rippling across her usually apathetic expression. “Thanks for the offer, though you shouldn’t be promoting murder.”

“Says the one who wanted to kill something…”

“Who wants to kill something?” a silky, masculine voice says and you look up to find Sirius Black greeting you with a razor-sharp grin. He’s wearing a white v-neck and a leather jacket and an expression that could summon anyone into bed, but you’re determined to remain resilient.

“My horrible, git of a boyfriend who ignores me for days, then decides he’s ready to have me back, only to neglect me again.” you spit, your tone riddled with frustration.

“Hm, that’s unfortunate, he really does sound like a douche.” His expression fixes into contemplation, “He’s handsome, though. Right?”

You want to Incendio his offensively handsome face into oblivion.

Jumping from your spot, you stomp across the courtyard, Sirius following close behind.

“I’m sorry,” he chortles, not even sounding a little bit sorry, “(Y/N)”

“No, Sirius.”

“(Y/N). Please, wait up. I’m just playing around–”

“–Yes! You are playing around. With my feelings. And I’m sick of it.” 

“Look, I really am sorry. Can you hear me out? Please?” His confident tone and polished charm are starting to slip from his lazy yet business-like posture, and there's a hint of desperation lacing the end of his words, but you’re so over this carousel of a relationship you barely notice.

“I don’t want to anymore. I’ve given you plenty of chances to prove to me that you actually give a shit about me, but you’ve always failed. I’m sick of having my heart broken.”

“N–No, (Y/N), that’s not what I meant…”

You stop in your tracks and spin around on your heels, your fingers clenched, your eyes stinging. A prickle of frustration sewing itself across your scalp and burning your cheeks, filling every inch of you with scalding anger and you want to push him away and kiss him at the same time.

“Well, what do you mean? What is it that you want? Because I’m not a walking vagina, I’m a human being with actual feelings, something that you wouldn’t know anything about. So you better make up your mind pretty quickly because I’ve already made up mine. It’s now or never, Sirius.”

A tear runs down your lips, and it’s only when you taste salt that you realise you’ve been crying. Sirius stands, rooted to his spot, his mouth flapping open on words he can’t voice. You wait expectantly, patiently for him to just say something, anything that will convince you to not say what’s forming on your lips. Silence fills the heavy air. Eyes burn into you. Seconds tick by.

“I can’t do this anymore,” It’s barely a whisper, but it travels through the air like a bullet (it’s a fissure in his chest), “We’re done. It’s over, for good.”

***

It’s pathetic.

I’m pathetic, you correct, scolding yourself sharply because it’s the only word that’s apt enough to describe yourself as you stuff another spoon of ice cream into your mouth. He’s just a boy. Merlin, it’s like feminism never happened.

The strawberry ice-cream melts over your tongue as you wiggle on top of the counter, House Elves chatting happily as they bake cakes.

“I’m pathetic.” You say, to no one in particular.

“No you’re not.”

You’re startled by a familiar voice, his voice, and you don’t know whether to push or pull.

You decide to push.

Throwing a cup at his general direction, you force enough apathy into your tone to mask the tha-thump of your beating pulse.

“Go away.”

“But–”

“I don’t care.” (Yes I do)

“Yes you do.”

“Sirius–”

“Look at me.”

Your eyes remain planted on the bucket of ice cream in your grasp. You can’t look at him. You’re afraid of what you might find.

“Please, (Y/N). Look at me.”

You let go of your fear.

His eyes are a melancholic blue, a cerulean ocean of long nights and whiskey-mornings. He’s handsome, even in the low light, but there’s a sense of sadness that radiates off him. It’s so unlike him, it’s like a wave of sticky, humid air or the spine-chilling shriek of nails tearing fissures down a chalkboard. Uncomfortable, unnatural. Unreal.

“I know you’ve been missing classes. I know you haven’t been down to the Great Hall in days. I know you haven’t been at Hogsmeade, either. And I know I’ve messed up, big time. But I’m not good at dealing with my feelings, and I know – I know – I can’t excuse what I’ve done and how I’ve treated you. You don’t have to forgive me. Just know that I am truly sorry. ”

He gives a half-hearted smile, his eyes sweeping across your face. They skim briefly to your lips and linger for a moment too long, but then he collects himself and leaves, the scent of his cologne patronizing you in the wake of his absence.

You breathe in.

Exhale.

Dig another spoonful of ice cream and pop it into your mouth.

And you think.

You think for the rest of the night.

***

There’s something ominously beautiful about the Black Lake.

Light kisses the dark surface and dances off it in a gentle way, subtle, but not subtle enough to be deemed irrelevant. Occasionally, the Giant Squid will make an appearance, long tentacles curling in the air in a silent gesture for food. It likes tuna sandwiches with a sprinkle of mountain salt.

You tear off a chunk of the sandwich and toss it at a tentacle. It catches with graceful ease and submerges beneath the surface, only to emerge with twice as much appetite. You’re halfway through the sandwich when Sirius arrives. He’s early for a change.

“You’re early.”

“Didn’t want to keep you waiting.”

“That’s a surprise.”

“Tell me about it.”

He sits down beside you and rests his arms on his bent knees.

“I was – er – relieved when I saw your note…” Sirius mutters, and you feel his eyes on you.  

You raise a brow but you don’t match his gaze. “I thought as much. It’s been three days since we’ve seen each other.”

“Right. Yes.”

There’s a brief pause where no one says a word, the silence filled with the occasional, impatient splash from the Giant Squid. The silence is splintered when Sirius speaks, his voice low and boyish.

“So…Have you…I don’t know…thought about what I said to you the other day – not that I’m pushing you, I want you to take your time – not that I want you to I mean you should – no that didn’t come out right–”

“–I forgive you,” you interject, and Sirius stops spluttering. You finally meet his gaze, and you notice the surprise that paints his face. He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t move. He’s hesitating in slow motion, processing the three simple words you had just said. And then…he’s smiling, and it’s not a devilish smirk but a genuine smile, an amicable curve of the lips that kisses his eyes and it’s soft and it’s real and it’s everything you love about this boy in front of you. It’s infectious, and you find your lips tugging into a smile on their own accord.

“Well? Are you going to kiss me or what?”

The words have barely left your lips when he’s grabbing you and kissing you, his lips crashing onto yours with enough force to communicate just how long he’s been waiting to do it for. Your arms fly around his neck as his arms find your waist, pulling you impossibly close as he tastes you, feels you, every inch of you is his, his, his. 

 There’s a familiar tug in your lower belly that reminds you of how much you’ve missed him, missed breathing the scent of sandalwood and expensive shampoo in or tasting the spicy, amber warmth of fire whiskey that was ever present on his lips.

And just as you allow yourself to drift away, a wave of water washes over you, drenching both you and Sirius. The Giant Squid’s tentacle is flailing irritably, demanding food.

An entrancing, disbelieving laugh catches in the back of Sirius’ throat as he beams at you. He looks as though he’s swallowed a star.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #hp #hp imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagines #sirius black imagines #sirius x reader #the marauders imagine #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #sirius black fic #hp fic #harry potter fic #imagine #fluff #angst #by georgie* #ow

[dont-give-money-to-jkrowling]

Remus Lupin in HBP : notes

hey guys ! i am currently trying to reread the hp series, hoping to gain a better understanding of remus’ character. i started with this book bc it was physically closer to me than the other ones and i hate moving.

i will transcribe all these messy notes in a fully detailed and well explained analysis, but first i thought i would post the notes i took from the book bc they are fun and very extensive, so maybe other people can then use them for their analysis of the character ( if you do, please credit me )

warning : they are, however, not very academic. i tried not to get subjective, or at least to state the facts before to add my own reactions. also, i read the book in french so i wasn’t able to quote the book directly and also sometimes i nickname dumbledore “dumbie the meanie”

oh and also a lot of these were written late when i was half asleep so my english is probably terrible and they might not always make sense.

and finally : i swear a lot. and capitalize a lot. get ready.

- Molly mentions that he comes to visit the Weasley household

- Hermione mentions that he tried to make Tonks feel better about Sirius’ death ( including the fact that she didn’t manage to defeat Bellatrix therefore stopping her from killing him ) what a sweet and gentle bean

- first actual apparition in chapter 6 : Harry says his clothes look even more miserable than ever, that he seems too thin and depressed and that he had a lot of white hair SOMEBODY HUGS THAT CHILD

- also he talks about an ex death eater that had been killed and says « i’m surprised he survived an entire year after leaving the death eaters ; if i remember correctly regulus only lasted a few days » which shows that he knows a lot more about regulus’ death than everybody else – makes quite a lot of sense

- literally can’t stop speaking about the war and people who died and how things aren’t looking up for their side

- we see that a lot of protection spells and such are against werewolves : while most of them are scams, i wouldn’t be surprised there was a lot of silver going around at the time, which isn’t a good sign for remus’ safety and health ( mental and physical )

- draco says fenrir greyback is a friend of his family – was he possibly a friend of the blacks ? I need answers

- at hogwarts, harry says that he hoped lupin would write to him, but that he didn’t. He seems disappointed

- he spends christmas with the weasleys ! Why is no one talking about this friendship

- when harry sees him, he thinks he looks skinnier and more miserable than ever. I guess dumbledore is too busy getting harry ready to die to buy him some FREAKING FOOD

- also even on christmas eve in the middle of some bloody party he stays by himself near the fire and looks depressed, he only starts partaking in the conversation when the war is mentionned

- says dumbie the meanie sent him with the werewolves where he was unable to communicate with anyone. He also says ( will have to check in the english version ) that the werewolves are « his pears and equals » in a probably self pitying way

- harry says he seems bitter about having been asked to do this job. ( again, need original text ) but he also appears to be upset to be seen as the token werewolf here

- as soon as he realizes he sounds bitter he tries to smile and says he isn’t complaining and that it’s true that he should do this job and that it is necessary blablabla much BS

- he says other werewolves have a hard time trusting him bc he lived with wizards and they had to steal and kill to eat ( bc… you obviously look… so well fed… and privileged… )

- when harry asks him who Greyback is, he visibly tenses , but when he is the one to mention him ( talking about his mission ) he seems pretty normal

- ALSO he apparently has to see Greyback for his mission what the fork dumbie

- says greyback wants to create an army to overpower the wizarding world sounds festive and also that werewolves have a right to blood and should seek revenge on « normal people »

- seems surprinsingly open to discussing how he got bitten ? Like harry asks if it was when he was a kid and remus just roll on about what happened and his feelings good for him

- for a long time he thought the werewolf who bite him had done it by accident and felt sorry for them and apparently learnt the truth much later HOW DID YOU LEARN IT SOUNDS SO ANGSTY

- when harry says remus is normal and just has a « problem » it reminds him of james and he immediatly starts laughing his heart out this is both nice and really sad

- then starts sharing precious childhood memories and cheers up once again this is both nice and sad

- after that he jokes a bit and wow only a mention of james and his childhood made that sad lonely man so happy i want to cry

- AND MORE AND MORE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ABOUT THE MARAUDERS

- talks a lot about james but avoids mentioning sirius even when harry tries to bring him up and doesnt even come close to talking about peter

- apparently he got a weasley sweater for christmas this is the cutest thing ever

- remus confirms once again that he isn’t speaking to anyone and probably avoids human contact as much as humanly possible this boi needs a good old therapist

- harry considers remus a patronus expert ??? chill just bc he thaught you that doesn’t mean he wrote his thesis on it

- but apparently he did bc guess who knows exactly why your patronus would change ???

- gets a bit awkward when tonks’ patronus is mentioned and is less at ease with words than usually. Also talks very slowly ( to remember when writing pining remus !! )

- hermione asks about him at hogwarts after the holidays PEOPLE CARE REMUS STOPS AVOIDING EVERYONE

- HOW COULD I FORGET TO MENTION THAT WHEN SNAPE IS MENTIONED HE IS LIKE « YA SURE HE RUINED MY LIFE AND THE ONE OF EVERY OTHER WEREWOLF IN THE COUNTRY BUT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT HE MADE ME THIS POTION »

- also he says harry’s feelings of hate towards snape come from the old predjudice inherited from james are fucking with me 1) hate justified 2) he literally used the m slur against lily and took part in racist bullying becoming later a facist and 3) i dont really think james had the time to teach harry that snape was a bad guy do you ? #calledout

- tonks hints that remus isn’t giving her any news about, for example, whether he’s alive or not. Remus really ? Bad manners.

- when Harry looks at all the detention’s files, he says Remus’ and Peter’s names were only occasionnally associated with the ones of James and Sirius, who were much more punished. Prank example : inflating another student’s head

- so this is more about greyback than remus but he talks really freely about biting children ( which must have been joyful to hear about poor lil remus ) and other death eaters hex him ? They never hex each other ? So they probably feel pretty entitled to hexing any werewolf that come their way

- also something about this attack bothers me. Dumbledore said he asked for the order members in hogsmeade to come to defend hogwarts but why was remus here then ? And later, when he tells about the battle, he says he saw greyback but there is no mention of them fighting or something yet greyback was supposed not to know remus was a spy for the order ? What is going on here i need answers

- i think remus’ bite mark was probably somewhere on his neck bc that’s where greyback wanted to bite harry. Does remus have to wear constant turtlenecks to hide it ? Omg

- REALLY SNAPE ? When they are both fighting after he killed dumbie he wants to run off and harry calls him a coward and he answers “oh yeah well when your dad bullied me it was always four against one so ha who’s the coward now” like WOW i do not appreciate you and oh also i guess possible information about the fact that the marauders acted together against snape but it’s kind of a contradiction with snape’s own memory where it’s only sirius and remus ? Guess snape is just making things up

- at the school hospital, remus has to stay with bill, who just got attacked by greyback, and that cannot be fun

- people don’t dare to say the word werewolf around remus for some reason

- HOW DOES REMUS KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO BILL AFTER HIS HALF BITE WHAT DID HE WITNESS WHILE SPYING

- when he learns that dumbledore died, he has a complete breakdown ( well he falls to a chair and hides his face in his hands and looks really distressed ) and harry says it’s the first time he sees remus losing control of himself. People underestimate how loyal to dumbie the meanie remus was

- he justified snape for a very long time but as soon as he learns he kills dumbledore ? He goes full ‘i hate him’ mode and says he has been a death eater spy the whole time

- he also used to say snape versus marauders was just old school rivalries but now he says « um, snape hated james » so really a lot of his attitude was really influenced by dumbledore

- as he is himself completely devastated, he takes time to comfort everyone and says « nah it’s not your fault » to everyone who blames themselves

- says a death curse nearly hit him during the battle. That is not a part of his character analysis but damn

- he « recovers » pretty quickly from his breakdown. Like they say his tone is harsh but that’s all lol wish i could get over something that fast

- nah kidding he’s probably just used to all the ‘don’t let them see, don’t let them knoooow’

- MOVING ON TO THAT REMUS/TONKS SCENE I DISLIKE

- as soon as tonks opens her mouth to talk about them dating, he ‘suddenly tenses’

- OKAY WHAT THE FUCK when remus tries to say that he doesn’t want to date tonks she grabs him, yells+ at him and shakes him down ? WHAT THE HELL BACK OFF

- apparently, when having a conversation about his love life, remus loves to stare at all this beautiful floor

- apparently remus predicted that the board members would try and close off hogwarts

- at the funeral he is holding tonks’ hand

[audriel]

Audriel’s FF Ouvre

As this tumblr is intended to be focused on writing, I think it’ll be fitting to list my favorites of all I’ve written so far and the reasons why they are my favorites.

Title: Ayame (FFnet) Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Gen, OCs feat. Uchiha Itachi Summary:  Ayame, a beautiful flower that means happiness for those who believe. Hikari Ayame was supposed to be an ordinary girl until a fateful event took her to Konoha where her fate entwined with unexpected people that will affect the future of Konoha.   Thoughts: My first published fanfic. Like every first in our lives, they have a special place in our hearts. When I published this fic, I’ve just truly started writing fanfic for a year or so, the kind of fic that is not just bits of pieces of dialogues or descriptions. Naruto was the most popular fandom back then, at least for anime/manga (was it Harry Potter? I feel old...) with a huge cast that is not dissimilar of Haikyuu!! so naturally it’s a perfect place to stretch writing muscles. Even back then I was content in exploring in the current universe/world, picking at the blanks and filling them up with my own ideas without straying far from canon, and those ideas are often my own characters.

Hikari Ayame is my OC, who was the daughter of the Yondaime (who was still a mystery back then) and teammate of Uchiha Itachi. Through Ayame I explored the world of Naruto, from its jutsu to its history. Looking back, I’m pretty surprised that I hit the nail in the head on Itachi being the good guy all along. It doesn’t have many reviews, but I had a blast writing it. Unfortunately, I didn’t end up completing the fic. By then I’ve figured out I’m muse-based writer, if my muse is shot, then there’s nothing, which holds true until now. Plus I was rather (if not very) faithful to canon, so once my ideas didn’t fit, I didn’t force them to fit, or take AU route.

Title: Promises (FFnet) Fandom: Final Fantasy VII Pairing: Cloud x Tifa, CloTi Summary:  Tifa's thoughts about a certain man... a certain ring... and a certain promise.... [Advent Children Spoilers] Thoughts: I wrote this after watching FFVII: Advent Children. Without prior knowledge of the games (I am and was not a gamer), I was intrigued by the ambiguous relationship between Cloud and Tifa. I remember pretty obsessed with the Advent Children, scouring the internet for screencaps, and backstory, then ofc, fanfics. Tifa’s ring was one of the things that caught my interest, particularly how it bore resemblance to Fenrir, Cloud’s Fenrir. So there went my muse and the result was my first one-shot and my first experience in having more than five reviews for my story. I remember how happy I was when I had such positive feedback, and back then FFnet did not have reply feature, so I just basked in them (or I PMed them? I’m not sure, but I did remember always trying to respond to the kind words).

Title: What Are We? (FFnet) Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata, SasuHina Summary:  What happens when two of the most unlikely people are united in the holy matrimony? Especially when there is no love between them to start with. [Sasuke x Hinata] Thoughts: My most popular fanfic in FFnet with 13 chapters, 465 reviews, 323 favorites and 278 followers. I’m pretty sure it’s my highest achievement in terms of popularity. Even back in my Naruto days, I have strong preference towards rare pairings, and SasuHina was the rarepair, back then, not unlike KuroDai, the writers and the readers are often the same people and formed a close and tight-knit community. However, if I am to compare it with current pairing, SasuHina is more like OiKuro, neither have truly interacted in canon, but their personalities made them an interesting match to explore. (I like OiKuro, btw) And as I was wont to do, I have fun in exploring their potential. I used the common trope of arranged marriage because considering their families, it had the highest possibility for them and I was inspired by another SasuHina fic and author who used the same premise. I wanted to do my own spin on it, even though my only experience in relationships is through books and literature XDD

This story suffers the same fate with Ayame. The muse is shot, thanks to canon. Sasuke gets on my nerves. Until the very end, (honesty I cannot believe I managed to get myself finish Naruto, I gave up on Bleach at the same time) he is insufferable. He’s not worthy of Hinata. And don’t start me on Hinata and her characterization. Kishimoto sucks at making strong female characters. Hinata and Sakura are reduced to a love interest and damsel in distress, despite their potential. I was and am still mad at the injustice that I don’t even bother correcting them in fanfic. So unfortunately, this fic is discontinued. I’m not even sure whether I want to continue even if I still remember what I intend to do with the story. There’s still a possibility, if only to give the story a proper ending. Who knows?

Title: Shades of Grey (FFnet) Fandom: Vampire Knight Pairing: Zero x OC Summary:  A series of what ifs leads to a series of questions. This is the story that explores the question: What would be left for Zero if he let Yuuki go? A character study of Zero and an exploration of Vampire Knight world. Thoughts: My longest running fanfiction, with 20 chapters and 159K words and my first M-rated fic. The least popular of my fics but my personal favorite. I consider this story my pride and joy, because this story showcases my strength and growth best as a writer. By now I’m more flexible with canon, willing to play with canon divergence and alternate universe. So when I’m dissatisfied with canon/current storyline, I goes to fanfic to correct it. I really, really hate love triangle problems in shoujo/romance stories, because it often feels like it’s just thrown in there just to make relationship problems between main pairing and the third person usually ends up underdeveloped as a character, and there are times when the main character has more chemistry/potential with the third person than the person he/she’s meant to be with, which is what happens in Vampire Knight. Yuuki is meant to be with Kaname, but I just cannot like Kaname, or see him with Yuuki. And poor Zero gets the short end of the stick. It doesn’t help that Yuuki keeps him hanging. So frustrated I was that I stopped reading the manga and threw myself into writing my own version and gives Zero a love interest.

So it can be said that this is the most selfish work of mine. What I like most from OCs is that through them I can push the boundaries of canon without stepping outside of them. I use the opportunity to develop Zero as a character alongside with mine and explore the world of VK, which is not delved deeply in canon. While VK seems to take place in a distant world unlike ours, I make it as though it is our world’s alternate universe where we have vampires in our midst. So compared to my previous works, with the exception of Ayame, this story requires and demands the most research for the world building, which naturally pushes me out of my comfort zone of thinking and writing only of the characters and their relationships. I also delve into darker and more mature themes whereas before I did more gen or PG pieces. It ends up pretty angsty, it looks like I like to have my characters suffer ^^; Poor Zero and Misaki (my OC).

The story is currently on hiatus, due to writer’s block. Unlike Ayame and What Are We?, I actually have a rough draft of the whole story and even have the ending written. It’s only the problem of getting there.

Title: The Gentle Princess (AO3) Fandom: Princess (manhwa) Pairing: Yapha of Skarde x Theodora of Anatoria Summary:  What if Theodora was married sooner to Yapha and became his third wife, right after Haisha? How would this change the fate of the three kingdoms of ASR? Thoughts: This is my first taste of joining a Big Bang Challenge, to be precise Het Big/Little Challenge 2011 by het_bigbang in LJ (ooh, the LJ days, I’m lookin’ pretty ancient, aren’t I?). Wait, wasn’t it stated 2012 in AO3? Well, I didn’t manage to meet the deadline, so I submitted the completed work for next year’s challenge. This story has the most impressive word count (71,126 words), and I am damned proud of it, especially because it’s completed. OMG, it makes me really happy that I have completed multi-chapter work.

The only downside is the fanfic from a relatively unknown fandom and characters, which leaves not many readers and reviewers, but I’m still happy and proud of this work of mine, because now I can read this and pretend that this is how it goes in canon for this favorite, but minor pairing in Princess. (I’m pretty sure my fanfic is the only one in the fandom in AO3 XDD) Princess is a Korean manga, known as manhwa, which story revolves around the princesses of three kingdoms (and three generations, I think) of ASR. So it’s a epic story, which naturally makes the fic, an epic fanfic. However, unlike VK I have easier time in worldbuilding since the manhwa is quite thorough, the problem is in the political undertones and intrigue throughout the story. I am guilty of using the non con sex and unexpected pregnancy as plot device again in this story as in Shades of Grey. While I like how it affects the plot and development, I hope I do not offend or worse trigger anyone :( Otherwise, I love the development in Yapha and Theodora, and between them as they grow from strangers to friends and to potential lovers.

Title: Perspective (AO3) Fandom: Daiya no Ace, Diamond no Ace Pairing: Gen, Kuramochi Youichi, Shirasu Kenjirou, Miyuki Kazuya Summary: An unfortunate circumstance puts things into perspective. Alternatively, Kuramochi and Miyuki from Shirasu's perspective. Thoughts: My return to fanfiction scene after a year without publishing anything that is not a incoherent mess of ideas, of disjointed dialogues and descriptions. As I look back, I’ve come to realize that my muse works best when I start with a premise, then build on it. The premise is simple: what if Kuramochi gets sick? Injury does have the most potential, but I've got enough of that in Act I and now we have another in Act II, sighs. Then I explored the 5W+1H based on what I know (and hope) about Kuramochi and the others around him. And voila, 16K fic! Shirasu provides an interesting perspective, he does not have the all-knowing eyes like we did as readers, but I feel like he knows more than most of Seidou (esp he gets help from Miyuki-specialist, Kuramochi). The fic ends up into a pretty interesting character study, and most importantly relationship study between Kuramochi and Miyuki.

I was afraid that I was getting rusty but the response is surprisingly positive with 7 comments and 33 kudos, considering it is a rare gen fic among mostly slash fics in the fandom. Admittedly it can be considered as pre-slash, with my KuraMiyu goggles, they look like one :D I hope I’ll come around to write a proper KuraMiyu one day. Regardless I’m very happy and satisfied with this piece, because not only it’s completed, but it also achieved what I want to achieve, a further look into KuraMiyu and Kuramochi being treated as precious friend/teammate/brother as he should be.

Title: Until Next Time (AO3) Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Kuroo x Daichi, KuroDai Summary: Kurodai Week 2017 Day 1: First Meeting / Next Time Pacific Rim AU. Thoughts: Not exactly my first dip into Haikyuu, but it’s my first non-gen fic after my long break from writing and my first try in portraying my fave pair (and rarepair), Kurodai. I have a lot of reservation in writing in Haikyuu fandom. Despite having followed the anime and manga closely, I am not certain in my grasp of the wonderful characters, more so in my favorite characters and pairing. However, I’ve read the whole fics with Kurodai tag, to the front and back, and front and back again. Then, thanks to @spring-emerald who reblogged kurodaiweek, putting the prompts front and center in my dashboard, I was stoked to join, especially when I was sort-of successful with hqbrofest (though satisfied it’s another matter, neither fics from the challenge are listed).

It is also a mean to challenge myself, because for once, the theme is already decided and it’s up to me to make something out of it. Somehow it’s gotten to my head that I want all the fics for the kurodaiweek to be AUs. I have no idea why I wanted to do that, when my grasp on the characters were weak and tenuous at best, and now I had to put them in different situation/universe while keeping them in character. WTF BRAIN?????? 

My initial take of the theme/prompt is hello and goodbye and my mind goes to dark and depressing Hunger Games AU where KuroDai are from different districts who both in their own ways try to defy the Capitol and end up teaming up together to protect Hinata, the youngest and most innocent tribute. Despite death looming over them, they build a pocket of peace and happiness between the three of them where they become a makeshift family and KuroDai quietly falls for one another even they know it is not meant to be, but it strengthens their resolve to get Hinata home, and they do. In their final moments, they promise to meet each other in the next life and build a life together that they are robbed of in this life. 

asd;akjfadkjfslkldkjdfladksl, I’m only writing the idea and I’m crying. Not a very good way to start Kurodai Week isn’t it? So I scrapped the idea and look for other possible AU I can do (I have a list of AUs, believe it or not), and I end up choosing Pacific Rim AU. Unlike the HG AU, I have no clear idea in mind, except using the iconic Kurodai phrase of until next time. I spent half of the time researching and fitting all the characters into PacRim universe, and before I knew it, I’ve got 10K story. While I feel like the story is solid, I have my doubts whether it’s good enough, and it seems so with how few and sparse the hits and comments at the beginning, but then slowly it gains readers and reviews...and up until now I’m still flabbergasted at the reception. Right now it’s my highest rated and reviewed fic in AO3. I’m just glad that I finally write my own KuroDai, my first and hopefully not my last. Cheers!

#audriel #fanfic #fanfiction #ouvre #bibliography #ffnet #ao3 #ayame #naruto #sasuhina #what are we? #promises #ffvii #advent children #cloti #shades of grey #vampire knight #zero kiryuu #the gentle princess #princess (manhwa) #theodora tore #daiya no ace #diamond no ace #kuramochi youichi #miyuki kazuya #perspective #until next time #kurodai #haikyuu #haikyuu!!