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kokorowoutsu-a · 1 year

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-- Muse Ramble: Ashe

So i’ve been meaning to talk about this and introduce this in a format that makes sense but with my latest reply to @pokemon-experiments I think it’s finally come out: Ashe has changed from the nervous always sick girl that everyone knew. While some things still remain such as a mouth of the south, she’s got a much more dare I say positive attitude towards things now.

( Here’s where I want to tangent a bit and diverge on things so forgive my rambling. )

This not only stems from Lucky’s evolution but the fact that as my trainersona, I want it to reflect how i’m feeling in my real life. I feel a lot more positive about myself and how things are right now. When 2023 hit, as of that midnight, I decided I would try to become someone a bit different day by day in that I didn’t want to let things that hindered me in 2022 that made me bitter, angry, upset, and ultimately sick irl but instead to tackle them head-on and address the problem by remedying what I could and saying “If it’s not in my power then try not to worry about it”. This philosophy has gotten me through most of January and hopefully will the rest of it and the rest of this year. Not only that i’m making it my year goal to lose weight and get healthy. To try more things in real life to be active with. So far i’ve lost a whopping 30 fucking pounds from just eating right ( before anyone is concerned, I actually started in November of last year but progress only showed up around December to now ). I’m taking more steps to better myself, but this is just an example. I wanted to translate this into Ashe and so I say down and took what I could and Lucky’s evolution became the catalyst.

Lucky’s evolution made her really come to terms with ‘I’ve officially become my true self and Lucky shows it’. He’s not just a Sylveon, with what he intended to be, but he became something in-between with becoming an Empatheon ( concept/art done by inprogresspokemon and used with permission! ). An Empatheon is a pokemon that is, well, an empath, but it’s somewhere Sylveon and Espeon and yet resembles an Eevee. It shows that this pokemon didn’t really evolve too much, but it’s a start and I took that foundation of it being a literal air purifier and ran with it. Now what does this mean for Ashe in the future?

Well there’s a number of plots i’m cooking up. First off, I wanted to finish off the Evolution Arc which has her starting to trust and learn about her humanity a bit more because as y’all know, she is a Half-Fae/Changeling. What have you. She also learns more about dual-type eeveelutions which will become an ongoing interest in the future. The next plot I talked about already which is the ‘Return to Paldea Arc’. She’ll be meeting Seraphina ( OC belonging to trickshooting ) and realizing she has a lot of issues communicating outright with people in general as well as conquering her fears of Area Zero and collecting the rest of the pokemon she didn’t get a chance to catch in Paldea. But why go to Area Zero again and by herself no less ( back to this )? She wants to see what damage Diamond ( played by night-gladion-and-their-ghosts ) did with his temporal abilities and to see if the pokemon there are still out for blood or are actually calmer then before. It’s here I plan for her to bond with a Slither Wing and catch one. Miraidon will also be going with her on this journey. Oh, and she’ll be challenging the Elite Four. Did I mention that? No? Well there ya go~

I also plan to have her do another plotline or at least do a drabble and realize that after this, she needs to train and get stronger and this is going to have a lot to do with Leon. I realized that her and Leon are sort of phasing out of that honeymoon phase and are actually starting to drift apart and pull together, meaning that they are having troubles and I want to really emphasize more on the fact of why she and Leon are a thing.

( I have a firm belief that loving someone is a give and take thing. Someone who really loves you is going to go out and do things with you that even if they don’t like it, they’ll do it because they love you and if you love that person you’ll do the same for them. You’ll make time for each other even when its hard. I got this mindset from my late grandmother and her relationship with my grandfather, who I would go on a tangent about but my point is there was nothing truer to me then their love -- and that’s something I feel Ashe and Leon have, so I want to really focus on that. )

Leon is strong physically and his pokemon are strong too. Both are battle ready and actually enjoy the sport of battling. Leon is family and friend-oriented and gives a lot to Ashe by going in between Galar and Unova but Ashe wasn’t a battler minus gym challenges and when their relationship started, she did make an effort to at least know Leon’s family and friends but not to the extent she should, so that’s going to be a thing that I want to explore more in that she may not be the best at conversation with his family and friends, but she’s going to try because she does love him and vice versa.

Anyway let’s just say I got a lot planned for Ashe and I wanted to touch on this... ah I guess there is actually one more thing I should touch on and i’ll just talk about it here since it has to do with her but... Lucky.

Soooo I haven’t really talked about this, but Lucky may be just a pokemon... just a dual-type eeveelution... but I want to point out that in canonical terms, this Eevee has been soaking up a lot of fae energy and has a lot of battle experience as well as being Ashe’s partner pokemon. Not to mention Mewtwo’s ( played by skullboneandunown ) psychic energy leaking onto Lucky and causing a dual-typing as well have made Lucky essentially a walking fae bomb. He’s not just a fairy-type/psychic-type pokemon. He’s got fae energy and blood in him ( might as well on the blood part ). He isn’t on par with legendary pokemon, but he can take on a Koraidon and Miraidon and scare the shit out of them and even leave Morgan ( who is a fae herself mind you) in shock... so I want to emphasize that the little mischievous Eevee people knew is still the Lucky you knew... just with a major power upgrade.

Ashe is aware of his power upgrade but she isn’t sure how powerful he is. She’ll learn soon enough.

And with that I conclude my tangent. Thanks for coming to my TED talk gushing about my muse and also a bit of self-love because honestly I am proud of myself and it only January. I normally put myself down and don’t talk positively at all... but for once in my life I am going to try.

#the raptor speaks ;; ooc #ashe ;; ic #ooc; this got HELLA LONG but pls read if you want some updates on ashe but if not tldr i got stuff planned for her #ooc; also throwing a bit of self love at myself because ive been hating on myself for too long

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livingthesuperherolife · 1 year

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[R]EVOLUTION/EVOLUTION

I remember when I read my first X-Men comic book. My parents bought it for $5.00 at the Omaha Mall in Nebraska. What was my family doing in Nebraska? I have no idea, but I remember that is where I got it. The comic book was X-Men (1st Series) #199. It was the first appearance of Rachel Summers as Phoenix. And everything about the comic made me want to be a mutant.

Now, the comic was what solidified it with how cool Rachel Summers was, but the actual love of X-Men happened a little bit prior. When I was a five year old kid, I used to live out on a farm. It was two stories with the stairway leading up into a small open area that sat between the two bedrooms. My bedroom with my brother was off to the right side while my parents was at the left.

I remember the beds were up west wall, and the south side looked towards a silo and barn with a corn field out beyond it. You could almost make out the house on the main road a half mile away.

“Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.” I would find the first start that would appear in a still light blue sky and wish that I could be a mutant.

I would wish that the X-Men mansion would appear in that cornfield. I would wish that Jubilee, Wolverine, Jean Grey, and Cyclops would come and be my friends. I would have people who would understand me. I would be different like they were different and fight for what was right. I would close my eyes, and then slip into bed hoping to wake up in another world.

As I sit here and type this, I try to remember back to that moment. I wonder if the young me could have possible imagined being married to such an amazing man. I made it closer to Westchester, and even traveled there to see some friends who live there. I work and am friends with multidimensional channels, energy healers, and spiritual initiates of various orders. I myself channel meditations and feel deeply into things to produce content. How much closer to the X-Men can I get?

Getting back to X-Men #199, the story was all about Rachel Summers, the alternate reality daughter of the original X-Men, Jean Grey and Scott Summers. She was raised in a world that not only hated and feared mutants, but imprisoned them in a concentration camp. She escaped to a past where she could never be born with her mother dead and the X-Men irrevocably different than the people she knew.

She has yet to tell anyone of her true origins, but she still wants to connect with her past. She goes to her mother’s parents house. There she finds the empathic crystal with memories of her mother. There she connects with her mother as Phoenix, taking the mantel on herself afterwards.

I felt deeply joined with this character. I wanted to be understood. I wanted people to see me. I felt powerless to change my circumstances. Sure, she had superpowers, but we had the same hopes to find ourselves and dreams of a better world than the one we’ve known.

A friend once said, “Organisms have a choice to: Migrate, Mutate, or Die.” And humans are just another organism.

Rachel was a mutant by birth. I always knew I was different or special. Rachel migrated from her home timeline because she had no other choice. I left South Dakota because I did not think it was the best option for myself. Rachel connected deeply with her ancestors (her mom) to face their past and rise from those ashes. I have dealt with addiction and abuse in much the same way my relatives have and have risen from those ashes.

All of the things that I have wanted in terms of being this evolved form of human have happened!

I work with others like me at a school who are making the world a better place with their gifts. I live outside of New York, albeit in New Jersey instead of Westchester, but I’m still here.

The want to be a mutant has been sated, although merely being a mutant does not make me a superhero, that is my ongoing revolution, and what this journey is all about!

#rachel summers #rachel grey #marvel girl #prestige #phoenix #askani #uncanny xmen 199 #x-men #wishing #manifestation

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shitirishaterssay · 2 years

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Why Serena is infinitely times better than misty!!!!!!!!!

1.) Character: Serena > Misty. Serena is just objectively a better character than Misty. Misty didn’t do a whole lot over the course of the series. In the span of 300 episodes (or close to it), Misty didn’t do a whole lot in regards to her goal and have VERY little tangible progress. Really, once Misty gets Togepi (like 50–60 episodes into the OG series), Misty just stagnates to where she’s in the background following Ash with no rhyme or reason doing nothing for herself, the group, or Ash. Meanwhile Serena had a goal she actively worked on to improve herself. She took note of her shortcomings and mistakes and actually tried to better herself. Serena had HALF the amount of time as a main character Misty did and still developed into a better character than Misty herself did.

2.) Companion or value to Ash: Serena > Misty. Misty didn’t really do a whole lot for Ash. One could argue that Misty was like a mentor to Ash, though I’m not sure what attacking your protege and ridiculing him for mistakes he’s obviously going to make is going to do for your kohai. Brock was the greater help to Ash in the OG series and beyond. Serena over the course of XY was easily Ash’s biggest supporter (a title she arguably holds over ALL of Ash’s companions) being the ONLY companion to never doubt Ash. Whenever Ash is in a tight spot in battle, generally Ash’s companions will wonder how he can make a comeback or even if he can, while Serena ALWAYS maintained faith in him and believed in him when it seems like no one else completely did. On top of that, Ash outright said Serena was the reason he got almost half of his Kalos badges and Serena herself is the only person to actually calm Ash down when he was depressed

a.) Ash’s loses to Ritchie in the Indigo League (though I think Ash is more upset than depressed here) and Misty tries to console: offer him food, go for a walk, just try to cheer him up but Ash rebuffs her and eventually snaps at her, they argue and Prof. Oak is the one who sets Ash straight.

b.) Ash loses to Wulfric and heads off into the woods for hours without coming back. Serena finds him and like Misty tries to console him and empathize with him since she’s been in the same position he has but Ash doesn’t respond and eventually snaps at her and they argue. However unlike Misty who tore Ash down further, Serena picks him up and told him what he needed to hear which makes Ash think about what she said and agree that she was right and even told her such later.

3.) Love Interest: Serena > Misty. Ultimately at the end of the day, PokeShipping is something that’s the creation of 4Kids. 4Kids changed the script to play up Misty and Ash liking each other when in the Japanese version it’s nowhere near as heavily suggested though still hinted at from time to time like with Ash’s other female companions. However, Serena is straight up confirmed to be in love with Ash and the idea to have Serena be in love with Ash came from a producer who’s been working on the Pokemon anime since Misty’s time as a main character in the OG series. Despite Ash’s bullheadedness when it comes to romance, he’s had a few significant moments suggesting an oblivious attraction towards Serena.

a.) Telling her he thinks she’s pretty with no provocation

b.) Actually choosing her over a friend in a competition

c.) Willingly going shopping with her when he’s made it clear he doesn’t like doing that.

d.) Willingly gave up a gym battle for her.

e.) Basically asked her out on a date and spent the entire time suggesting they do things he knows she likes, quickly picked up on her acting OoC, and proposed a battle with her to cheer up which does so and compared the relationship with her Pokemon to the relationship he has with his.

f.) Of course the kiss. Ash doesn’t look at all repulsed, if anything he looked stunned and in disbelief with glimmering eyes. Yes Ash is an idiot when it comes to love but he’s not dumb enough to not know what a kiss is/means.

g.) Ash’s EoXY flashback was more dominated by moments with Serena than with Clemont/Bonnie and had almost equal featuring as moments with his Pokemon.

So most of your posts on Serena 'critics' are done and dusted.

Block evading is harassment and stalker behavior. Knock it off.

Serena is a far worse character than Misty. Misty actually did stuff (caught Pokémon, competed in tournaments, worked through her family problems). Serena followed Ash around blushing and did nothing for over a year.

Their “companion value to Ash” is irrelevant, as it has little to do with them as individuals. Just admit you see women as extensions of men. Both were his friends. And Serena’s worship of Ash was so over the top it didn’t feel natural.

Serena literally pelted him with snowballs because he stopped living up to her fantasy idea of him when he lost to Wulfric.

If you want to compare which was a better love interest (gross, but whatever, and it’s clear that’s all you see female characters as), Misty wins. You want to know why? She prioritizes her friendship with Ash. Serena did things in the hopes of scoring points with him. Serena didn’t love Ash. She loved her fantasy image of him.

Ash barely reacted to the kiss, it was the lighting. His face was a personality-less as it was through the rest of XY.

Ash didn’t even recall Serena in Journeys during the Clemont and Bonnie episodes, sorry.

And you have not disproven a single criticism of the way Serena is written.

#pokemon #misty #kasumi #misty defense squad #pokeshipping-is-dead #answers #how many times are you gonna block evade? it's not cute

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thepartyresponsible · 3 years

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this fill is for @jhscdood, @windcalling, and the anon who asked for jason todd and clint barton to #69 on my wrapped 2020 spotify playlist, which is “the rush” by jj wilde.

so here’s a fic about clint barton, shield agent, accidentally hooking up with red hood the night before the big shield & bats meeting in gotham.

---

Clint’s right in the middle of advanced negotiations with his hookup’s coffeemaker when a very aggressive Mr. Universe contestant crashes through the door, smashing it to kindling with one improbably muscled shoulder.

“Aw, shit,” Clint says, and throws the coffeepot.

It shatters apart against the man’s mask, and the man swivels slowly to stare at Clint.

He’s huge, and he’s angry, and he looks like he’s here to settle business.

“Oh, c’mon,” Clint says, half-begging, half-protesting. “I don’t even have pants on. It’s six in the morning. Raincheck this, for the love of God.”

The man straightens to his full height, and Clint sighs. He’s a menace, is what he is. Some actual, no-shit, Gotham-level nonsense. He’s a monster. 6’8” at least. He probably has a minimum of a hundred pounds on Clint.

He’s fully dressed.

It’s six in the morning.

“Ugh, fine,” Clint says. “Just be quiet about it, okay? He’s still asleep.”

Still asleep, still unbelievably good looking. Clint had been hoping for another round before he left to meet up with Coulson and Nat for their meeting with the various Bats, and now he’s going to ruin the poor bastard’s whole apartment, instead.

“I am not,” the belligerent bodybuilder says, “here for you.”

Clint blinks. “You—what?”

“You owe me for that door,” Jason says. He’s standing in his bedroom doorway, with a SIG in either hand and a very aggrieved slant to his eyebrows. “And for fucking up my morning.”

The human wall of muscle shifts to face Jason, leaving him open, but Clint is honestly too flabbergasted by this turn of events to take advantage of that. “Talia is looking for you,” the man says. “She wants you to come back.”

“And who can blame her?” Clint asks.

“That’s sweet,” Jason says. He grins at Clint, a flash of white teeth that reminds Clint of the line of bruises he can still feel along his collarbone. “You always this sweet in the morning?”

“Oh, feel free to find out,” Clint says.

“I’m here to return you to her,” the man announces. He’s beginning to sound genuinely irritated by all the interruptions. Clint can empathize.

Jason sighs. “You ever get tired of being her errand boy?”

“No,” the man says. “I consider it an honor.”

“I am just, wow.” Clint shakes his head, looks back and forth between them. “Really confused by the dynamics of this situation.”

“Welcome to Gotham,” Jason says.

“You said that last night,” Clint reminds him. “You said you were the welcome party.”

“Yeah,” Jason says and then he points one of those SIGs right at the breaking and entering suspect, “and he’s the welcome hangover.”

“I like you better,” Clint says.

Jason smirks over at him. “Well, I earned it.”

“Sure as hell did,” Clint says.

The massive menace takes this as his opportunity to charge Jason. Clint grabs the skillet off the stovetop and hurls it, sending it whirling end-over-end and slamming directly into the back of the man’s head. There’s a sick, meaty thunk and then a roar, and Clint loses sight of Jason and the behemoth as they go crashing back into Jason’s bedroom.

Clint grabs a couple of knives from the block and goes after them.

Hell, he doesn’t have to meet up with Coulson and Nat for another two hours. How else is he going to fill his morning?

---

They wreck Jason’s entire apartment, the fire escape, a Wells Fargo, and two bodegas, and they steal an ice cream truck, but they make it back to Clint’s hotel room in time to fool around a bit in the still-made bed and then shower together after.

“I’ve gotta,” Clint says, gesturing over his shoulder. He is clean and dressed and running impossibly, hilariously late.

“Oh, me too,” Jason says. He has stubble burn on his chin and throat. Clint never did find the time to shave. Whatever. It pairs nicely with the hickey Clint left on the side of his neck.

Usually, he tries to be polite about leaving marks on hookups, but the noises Jason made set Clint’s good intentions on fire and threw the ashes out the window.

Clint hesitates, his hand on the door. When he looks back, Jason’s hovering close to the window, catching a quick glance down toward the street. “Not that I want—look, this has the best morning after of my life.”

Jason’s mouth quirks up at one corner. “I bet you say that to all the guys who drag you into a street brawl with Bane.”

Clint’s mouth falls open. “That was Bane?”

“Who the hell did you think it was?” Jason shakes his head, looks mystified and a little charmed.

“I dunno, just.” Clint waves his hands. “Your ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend, maybe? Who had a weird thing for-- look, I never got any coffee.”

Jason grins, still shaking his head, and crosses the hotel room to grab Clint’s shirt one-handed, dead over his heart. “Next time you’re in town,” he says, “I’ll make you coffee.”

Clint thinks about coffee and looks at Jason’s mouth, and he groans, a little helpless, downright disoriented trying to decide which he wants more right now. “Jesus,” he says. “You promise?”

“Yeah,” he says. And then he tugs Clint in, kisses him quick and intent and showy, like he thinks he still needs to work to be memorable. “Call me,” he says, and he disappears out the door before Clint’s caught his breath.

Clint sprints out the rooftop access door and skids to a stop beside Nat exactly thirty seconds before the designated meeting time. The look Phil Coulson sends his way is long-suffering and remarkably unsurprised.

“Barton,” he says. “Next time we come to Gotham, I’m going to handcuff you to me for safekeeping.”

“That’s, uh.” Clint clears his throat, blushes an incendiary shade of red. “That’s gonna get real awkward for you, sir.”

Coulson stares at him for one heavy, terrible moment and then he sighs with worn-in exasperation and directs his eyes skyward.

“Wow, Clint,” Nat says, squinting at him. “What happened to your neck?”

“No, shut up,” Clint says. “Shush. I was in Madrid, remember? I’m not taking any shit from you about this. You showed up in lingerie. Lingerie that wasn’t even yours.”

“Well, it’s mine now,” Natasha says, looking far too smug to be even a touch repentant. “Did you have a good time?”

“Jesus, did I ever,” Clint says, with maybe a bit too much honest appreciation in his voice.

“Could we,” Coulson says, “please just attempt a modicum of professionalism?”

“Sure,” Clint says. “Yeah. Super professional, Coulson. As soon as they get here, I promise.”

“We’re here,” Batman announces, manifesting out of the shadows, taking about five years off Clint’s life.

“Fuck’s sake,” Clint says.

“Very professional,” Red Hood says. He moves up next to Batman, and he looks steady, broad-shouldered. Serious. But there’s something weird about his tone. Something amused, a little strangled.

Clint stares at him.

“We appreciate this meeting,” Coulson says, voice level and controlled.

“You said SHIELD had business in Gotham,” Batman says. Beside him, Red Robin is silent and focused. Red Hood crosses his arms over his chest, seems almost bored. “We need to set the parameters of that business.”

Red Hood, Clint notices, has two SIGs in holsters at his sides.

“Of course,” Coulson says. “There’s no reason for us to have any problems.”

“It’s Gotham,” Red Hood says. “There are always problems.”

There’s a hickey, Clint notices. A bruise, maybe. There’s something on Red Hood’s neck, barely visible in the gap between the collar of his jacket and the metal of his helmet.

“Are you the Gotham welcoming party?” Clint asks. He hears it come out of his own mouth, and he has nobody to blame other than himself and his critical caffeine deficiency.

Red Hood turns to stare at him. They all turn to stare at him, but Red Hood’s the only one he’s looking at.

He didn’t. He didn’t. He didn’t come to Gotham the night before a meeting with the Bats and pick up Red Hood in a dive bar.

He didn’t spend the morning after fighting Bane with Red Hood and then sneaking him into his SHIELD-approved hotel room. He did not.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Red Hood says, head tipped. “I’ve been told I’m more of Gotham’s hangover.”

Clint nods slowly.

He has no idea – no idea – how the hell he’s going to make any of this seem reasonable in the post-mission report. He has no idea how much of this will even make it in the report.

But he has Red Hood’s phone number scrawled on a bar napkin in his pocket, and he knows, whatever else happens in this ludicrous, lunatic town, he’s sure as hell not losing that.

#writing #soundtrack fills

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thedevillionaire · 3 years

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Much Better

A supernatural soap opera moment, Cerberus and Kia, featuring Aera (Sorcery Leader) - and the Demon lord's nemesis**, birchbark. As always, any and all questions welcomed, and thank you endlessly for taking the time to read my fics and meet my darlings. 💗💗 **or one of them, anyway.

-- Aera answers the archive chamber door with a fair bit more force and a significantly more frazzled expression than Kia had been expecting, and she double checks the time because of it. Okay, she’s definitely early, but not super early. Still, these hierarchy meetings often didn’t run to schedule, so…

“Hey, sorry, I can wait if…”

“Oh, gods, you’re welcome to him.” Aera turns to yell over her shoulder, “DeVille! Your much better half is here!” before returning her attention to Kia. She smirks wryly at the sound of a violent sneeze and a muted blessing or two from further inside. “He’s been a total delight.”

She addresses this as much to Cerberus as to Kia, the Demon king joining them at the threshold, more than a little dishevelled, crumpled tissues in hand and any semblance of patience clearly a thing of the past.

“Don’t expect me to appease your ridiculous lack of foresight with unwarranted courtesies,” Cerberus counters, his tone one of vivid, seething finality despite the congestion blunting his consonants. “If you’d given any thought to this…how th…hH… HHAHTSSCHuu!” He pushes chaotic ebony back from his face, sniffles forcefully. “This entire place is an allergen!”

“Entire place.” Aera scoffs. “Right.”

Cerberus blows his nose with the rough impatience of someone who is entirely sick of having to do so, excuses himself all the same, and sniffles again immediately against an itch that refuses to recede. “You have the room temperature set to something just shy of subarctic for reasons I cannot fathom and a level of birchbark usage enough to permeate the damn walls, which frankly should count as an entirety on its own, and as per usual, the place is a dustbowl.” He challenges Aera directly. “What exactly am I missing?”

Kia remains in wide-eyed, silent observance, her attentions fixed, intent mesmeric, on her bonded in beautiful disarray. She glances across at Aera, whose reaction is…very much not the same.

The Sorcery Leader’s reply is clipped, curt. “This is not your department.”

“Of…” His breath snags on urgent need, desperate and overwhelming, and Cerberus against all his wishes is forced to abandon his riposte to consuming physical insistence. He Creates the latest in a series of handkerchiefs he’s completely lost count of now and buries his face in it. “Ah-TSSCH-uu! Ahh-HEHTSCHUU! Goddamn it.” Another determined sniffle and he presses the back of his hand against his nose with significant force, returns to his point forthwith. “Of course it’s not my department! My department gets dusted more than once a… hh-HH…once a centuryyiAAHTSCHHuu!” The relentless tickle escalates demanding, unstoppable, and there’s nothing he can do about it but sneeze again, heavy, powerful. “Hh-AHHTSCHHUU! Gods!” He sniffles repeatedly, infuriated, and rubs irritated, reddened eyes and nose, wills still-hitchy breathing to submit for long enough to conclude with a furious, “And there’s no damn birchbark in it!”

Kia offers him a quiet blessing as he excuses himself and blows his nose again, which he acknowledges with a Mindsent apology laced with frustration.

“I thought you didn’t have a dust allergy. That’s the official line, right? Until you do, that is.” Aera rolls her eyes. “Godssakes, Cerbie.”

Cerberus, with a quiet sound somewhere between a dark chuckle and a snarl, flexes a hand; miniature wildfires dartdancing across his fingers for the briefest of moments the only warning before the chamber door is wreathed in virulent flames, crumbling to smoking ash and embers in seconds.

Aera makes a small startled half-shriek that she quickly redirects to outrage. “Holy crap, Cerberus, what the hell?!”

“Oh, did that inconvenience you at all? If only I’d been able to foresee that somehow and perhaps take steps to prevent it.”

“Seriously?! Okay, fine! Okay! Point taken! Gods! You burnt down my door, you…”

“You know perfectly well you can fix that in minutes. I, on the other hand, am probably going to be sneezing all night.” An indignant sniffle follows, pronounced and determined, though despite his best efforts his breathing remains erratic, unreliable. His brow creases slightly, his attention momentarily diverted as Kia Mindsends him pure sensation sympathy, calmative and gentle, and he meets her gaze in an appreciative, already shaky pause he knows is not going to last.

“I can fix it in minutes eventually! The Create part of it, sure! But I have to measure and prep and redo the whole…”

“Ah-HEHTSHhuu!”

Aera sighs, genuflects ostentatiously before straightening and raising a defiant middle finger. “Bless you, Your fucking Majesty. I’m done,” she snaps, and re-enters the chamber, Creating a makeshift temporary screen where the door used to be as she does so. She dearly wishes she could slam it.

“AHTSSCHUU! *snf!* Gods, honestly!” Cerberus turns his attention to Kia in vexed apology, anger shifting to a frustrated weariness. “Sorry, love. Excuse me.” He blows his nose firmly, rubbing it repeatedly in another futile effort to quiet the demanding itch, takes a deliberately cautious, unsteady breath he doesn’t truly trust.

“Bless you, hon.” Kia moves to him, places a gentle hand on his arm. “Should I even ask how your day’s been?”

“Argued with Aera, sneezed a lot. I’m fairly sure that covers it.” With a sharp, strong sniffle, he pushes newly disarrayed midnight from his face, manages a sardonic half-smile for his bonded. “You, darkling?”

Kia laughs softly, empathically. “Aw, sweetheart. Come here.” She embraces him warmly, wrapping one arm around his waist and reaching up with the other to weave her hand through his hair. On tiptoe, she touches a series of soft kisses to his neck in precursor to honeysultry whispersoft suggestion of never mind all that forget everything focus on me babe just me come here honey come here forget everything else now just me babe it’s alright and a Mindsent sensorial aetherwave of calm, of sanctuary, skin-on-skin heat and she moves closer again, cups his face in her hands, kisses him with lascivious invitation unmissable, relax sweetheart it’s over come to me and all is imagery and infusion suggestion distraction seduction take me home babe in flame and velvet heat and hot tub bedroom hearthside blazing slip between warm satin sheets in early night slowdance splendour sweetheart breathe now babe just me just us and she is perfect, she is haven and boudoir and everything, everything, everyth…

Well, almost everything.

Cerberus, wanting nothing more than to immerse in such pleasures and reciprocate without distraction, is nevertheless unable to do so; with a fleeting frown and helpless inhalation his focus dissolves in sudden desperate need and he stifles two rapid-fire sneezes against his shoulder. “hpt-XCH! hh…HXTchu!” Not enough, it’s never enough, and there’s not a thing he can do save submit. He conveys apology as best he can through watering eyes, brings Kia’s head with one firm arm tight against his chest in protection, and turns to sneeze into crooked elbow, powerful and possessing. “Huh-AAHTSSCHHuu!”

Kia’s pulse spikes and she gasps a constricted, involuntary Mm! and inhales deeply before purring a blessing still more breathless than she’d intended, as her beloved excuses himself with a quiet, exasperated groan, sniffles in unreliable recovery.

Cerberus shakes his head just very slightly, wondering pointedly – and not for the first time – if there’s any way that he can just eliminate silver birch from the face of the Underworld and be done with this nonsense once and for all, and looks at his bonded in consternation. “Love, I meant it when I said I’ll probably be sneezing the rest of the...”

Kia curls her hand around the back of his neck, through his hair, silences his words with impassioned kiss, and Mindsends a resolute, heatcertain :It doesn’t matter.:

“It’s just… *SNF!* ...chances are fairly high that I’ll sneeze on you.” A hitch of breath he forcibly suppresses, knows it can’t last.

:Promises, promises.:

“I…I don’t…”

“It. Doesn’t. Matter,” she repeats, entwining herself around him once again. “Trust me.” Her touch heatseeking, direct, undeniable. “I am going to make everything—” An insistent, inviting certainty infused luxurious and redolent as she switches to Mindsend, the crimson charisma carnal.

:—so much better.:

#my writing #my OCs #supernatural soap opera #cerberus and kia #cerbia #cerberus #his dust ‘sensitivity’ is one thing but when it’s birchbark dealing the damage he truly has no recourse.

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kaimorhen · 3 years

Text

I wish Anders had been in Inquisition. My adoration of him aside, how cool would it have been as a side quest to help him during the Here Lies the Abyss quest? I know that obviously being close to Corypheus would have been disastorous, but have Hawke ask the Inquisitor and crew for help on a sensitive matter. They go to a different location and there's Anders slowly coming from the foliage looking so tired and worn down, fear in his clouded eyes as they dart between the new people and Hawke. Circumstantial friendship, rivalry, or romance dialogue depending on choices in 2 between him and Hawke. "I'm not worth this, Hawke..." "Are you sure about this, love?" "Thank you, Hawke..."

The Inquisitor could ask him questions about Kirkwall and the rebellion and his stance on what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Different dialogue options whether you agreed with it or not.

If you bring Cole along he has dialogue where he reads his mind. "He suffers and hates himself for causing it. Fracture...split... not who he was meant to be anymore...Lies, deceit, for the greater good...what you thought was good...but what is right when the world is wrong? Debris raining down...it was the only way, he was a hero and you changed him..." Anders asks him to not read his mind. Cole admits he wasn't reading his mind, he was reading Justice's who feels guilt at having changed Anders.

If you bring Vivienne, she has dialogue about how Anders is a prime example why mages are mistrusted, why the Circle is necessary, and all the loss of that tragic event. The two will definitely get in an argument, that you can intercede or let continue.

Dorian isn't able to completely empathize having come from Tevinter, he sits a bit on the fence. While he supports mage autonomy, he has seen first hand the dangers of letting that go unchecked. He may make a sassy comment about how Anders should have gone bigger or that it was a particularly uncouth display.

If you bring Varric he would no doubt have snarky dialogue and throw in a few "Blondies" for good measure. He would probably be a bit more distant than his normal approachable self for what Anders had put them through and destroying his homeland and Hawke's life (if romanced, as they would likely be fugitives), but he does still care for his friend.

If you bring Cassandra she would probably be a boiling pot of barely concealed rage and contempt. She would add biting comments to any defense he has for himself and inevitably storm off, even yelling at you for bringing her along when she would never want to see the face of the man who blew up a most sacred, venerable place.

You have to bring Solas, who is initially very bristled and enraged at what Anders had done, even threatening him for his hubris at chaining a spirit to himself. Justice comes out in Anders' defense, setting Solas straight that it was a mutual pact done out of friendship and revolution, championing for a better cause for the disenfranchised masses. Solas apologizes, admittedly fascinated, and figures out a way to undo it, saving the spirit and man.

It may even require a war room meeting to find an artifact or book, to which Cullen withdraws support for that particular mission. Leliana may be heard sighing and mentioning she tried to stop it before it got to that point.

#dragon age #dragon age headcanon #dragon age inquisition #i just want to see anders againnnnnnnnnn #BUT ONLY IF HES ABLE TO BE REACTED TO POSITIVELY #i'm fine with negative reactions so long as you can chose your dialgoue and reception of him ;___;#anders #vivienne de fer #dorian pavus #solas #hawke #varric tethras #cole #cassandra pentaghast #cullen rutherford #leliana

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nyehilismwriting · 3 years

Note

"i don’t want to explain a thing" for levi? :)

cw for injury/death mention!

How do you explain, to someone you love, that they’re going to die?

You don’t.

You can’t.

You won’t.

You can only stand in the half-dark room and watch them, hazy shapes in the blue-grey dawn. Feel their fear, muted by sleep; feel their hurt, wrapped warm in blankets and pillows. You can only do what you can do, so you don’t lie down beside them, in the bed they’re sharing like they haven’t since they were children; you can only do what you can do, so you pick up your sword and step out into the blue, into the grey, into the cold.

Find that other, that predator’s intent, the spot of itching-stinging hurt, drawn close by the echo they hear in you, in your siblings, in the ruined scraps of your family still flapping in the wind. You hunt them down, one who lingers on the outskirts, desperate only for love, for belonging, alone but for you and your relentless violence. You kill them, quick and bloody. None of the ceremony they deserve (too vengeful, angry at a world caught in wine-red eyes, in the snap of bones and the crunch of teeth), but your survival is more important than what they deserve, because what you deserve never saved anyone. You can only do all you can, and your siblings are sleeping through their grief in a cold hotel room with the window open and their eyes closed tight.

You wash the blood off your hands in a gas station bathroom, with gas station water, rust-brown and glistening. You buy gas station coffee, thinner and less bitter than the blood in your mouth - spit both out on the street outside. Balance the three cups in one hand, the prepackaged sandwiches in the other. No room in your jacket, with the bloody blade you’re hiding under it, cold and wet against your side. You nearly drop the meagre breakfast when you try to unlock the hotel room door, keys and plastic and hot polystyrene all jostling for space in your shaking hands, the bite mark on your forearm oozing blood beneath the leather of your jacket.

They’re both awake when you push the door open, their panic metallic and slick beneath your tongue. Theo’s pulling her jacket over her shoulders, ready to come and hunt you down - and she could, you know it, know that if you’d taken longer she would’ve found you. Would’ve found the strigoi, and been found by it in turn. Lys, always slower, always calmer, is still slouched on the bed, glossy eyes still half-closed.

“Levi!” Theo reaches for you as you open the door, grabs you by the forearm; you gasp, pain lancing through you. The memory of teeth, still fresh, their shape etched into your arm, but-

“Watch the coffee-” you manage, and she catches the cups as you drop them, serpentine reflexes reduced to saving your breakfast. Not for the first time, you’re grateful neither of them inherited your gifts; they’re already relaxing, happy to see you, to be reunited, and for the moment, unaware of your wounds, hurt hidden under leather and bravado. You don’t have long before they figure it out, before the scent of blood and ash become too clear, before blood starts to drip down your hands.

“Here,” you let Theo take the coffees, drop the food on the bed. “I’m going to take a shower,”

“You okay?” comes Lys’ voice, scratching free of his throat over the sound of plastic tearing. “You look tired,”

“I’m fine,” you wave him off (and you’re the empath but they can both see the lie, smell it on you like sharks scenting blood, eyes going narrow and suspicious) and all but flee to the bathroom, locking yourself in before Theo can grab you, demand an explanation you’re not willing to give.

Your jacket sticks to your wound as you try to peel it off, skin tugging, pulling finally free with a wet snap, flakes of dried blood drifting to the tiles. Outside the bathroom, your siblings are talking quietly, words indistinct but their concern razor-sharp, jagged metal in the back of your throat. You turn the shower on, scalding hot, lean against the counter as the room fills with steam.

How do you explain, to someone you love, that you’re going to die?

You don’t.

You can’t.

You won’t.

#these prompts really brought out the angsty backstory in me what can i say #also i don't think i've ever named levi's siblings on here.......hrm #They #writing #snippets #anon

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unsaidmar · 3 years

Text

Call.

a/n: hello peeps! this is a request! thank you for liking what i write, it means the world to me. love y'all. requests still open.

wc: 1.5k hehe

warning: mentions of death, curse words, sad stuff.

pairing: spencer x bau! reader.

plot: For the first time, you’re not where he is. It drives you crazy.

--------------

You considered yourself quite the resilient person. Emotions got to you but never incapacitated you. Danger was a given in the career path you had chosen and the prospect of it was something you were used to, but never like this. It was always your own life you were worried about, but the BAU had taken the grasp you had on your job and your reality and completely redifined it.

Being guarded with your emotions and affections was a defense mechanism you had developed thanks to your experience in law enforcement. People always got hurt and you had to move on from it, that’s just how it was. But the BAU was the one to break the mold.

Those people had been through a lot together, the good, the bad and the ugly. They had seen it all and done it all, and now you were a part of it. They took you in and accepted you like you hadn’t just joined the team and you let them. Soon enough, Rossi was walling you “kid” and kissing both your cheeks when he greeted you, Morgan was fist bumping you when you made stupid jokes and you were going out to dinner with Emily, JJ and Penelope. Not one of them hesitated to put their life on the line with or for you, and it shook your world.

All of a sudden it wasn’t just yourself you had to worry about, because every person walking into burning buildings and hostage situations with you was your family. You loved every one of them and losing them scared you a lot, enough to feel like your heart was beating out of your chest whenever they were in danger.

And still, you had to go and fall in love.

Spencer had woven himself into your life, your routine, your work life and eventually your heart. It felt like he was marking his territory before he knew he was doing it, something resembling a person moving into your home, but the things he left behind were more than a toothbrush or a book. He left his mark in little things you incorporated into your life and it slowly transformed the both of you into a collage of each other.

He started drinking soy milk when you convinced him it was not bad and that subjecting himself to the pain of being lactose intolerant and still consuming milk, wasn’t worth it. You stopped leaving your windows open at night when he freaked you out about stray cats taking residence in your couch and potential burglars getting in. And those absolutely inconsequential things were forever going to be a gift you had given each other, no matter what came out of your relationship, even if you went your separate ways. Which, you never did.

Three years into working at the BAU, and two into your relationship with Spencer, you got married. The both of you figured that the wait was not necessary because you knew very early on that that was it, you were it. Next thing you knew, your fourth wedding anniversary was coming up, and so were many other things.

After getting kidnapped and shot, you were never the same. You had come to terms with dying, you wanted it to happen so you didn’t have to deal with the inevitable trauma that came with surviving, but you weren’t that lucky. Everyone had been worried about you and the living ghost look you were sporting. It looked like you were re living the situation in your head every moment you were awake, and that was indeed the case. It haunted you when you were sleeping and it consumed you when you were awake, so Hotch made you take a break.

Stubbornness was your thing, so he took away your badge any other form of ID that could get you into the building, he didn’t answer your calls and only texted your work cellphone to ask you to stop asking him to reinstate you. Being alone with your thoughts was hell. Having your family out there risking their lives without you was even worse.

“Hey Spence, it’s me again… um... could you let me know if you’ve been getting my texts? It’s just that… you never not text me back and I’m getting worried. Is that too much? I’m probably being ridiculous. Anyways, call me back. Or text. Just let me know you’re okay. I love you.” You sighed and put your phone down for what felt like the twentieth time in the last half hour.

This had never been the case. You were never the worried spouse that had to rely on phone calls or texts to communicate or to even know your husband was alive. It made you empathize with Will, with Haley. It made you want to ask them for advice on not going crazy. Your mind was already going rouge.

I can’t be a widow. I can’t mourn the love of my life, how does anyone? What happens if I lose him? How foolish of me to have dismissed this when we got married. We’re FBI agents, for the love of God. We point guns and have them pointed back at us for a living. I’ll have to take my ring off. Do I keep it? I can’t look at it if he’s gone. Who picks out the dress for the funeral? If I have to do it, I’ll go insane. I can’t bury him; I can’t go watch them lower him to the ground. I will just cremate him and split his ashes so his mom has him too. His mom. That woman won’t be able to bear outliving her baby. God, please pick up the fucking phone.

You: Honey, please text me back!!! Have someone text me for you, idc.

You: Spence, charge your phone.

You: Why is Derek not texting me back either?

You: Are you angry at me?

You: I’d rather you tell me if you’re angry. Don’t ghost me when you’re on a case.

You: Spencer.

You: I’m calling Penny.

Three rings it took for Penelope to answer.

“Hi my sweet, beautiful, ____. How can I be of assistance to you at this indecent hour of the morning/night?” She chirped, her tone already relaxing you. She would be the first to know if something had gone wrong.

“Hi Penny, do you have any word on the team? I keep calling and texting Spencer and he hasn’t gotten back to me. It’s been like three hours.” You said, holding back the tears.

“Oh, sweet stuff. Last I heard, they were delivering the profile. They’re in Kansas and there was a tornado warning. The power is out. Maybe all of their phones ran out of battery.” She tried to reassure you, like always, already knowing what was happening in your head. “Is everything okay? Have you slept?”

“Not really. Spence stopped replying and I got anxious.”

“Don’t worry hun, bad news travel fast.”

“Yeah, yeah… you’re right. I should…”

Before you could finish your sentence, the door creaked open and you saw a defeated looking Spencer hang his jacket and take his shoes off trying to be quiet, assuming you were asleep. You felt the color come back to your face and you dropped the phone on the couch without even making sure you had ended the call.

“Oh, thank God.” You ran to him and aggressively hugged him. Much to your embarrassment, the tears you were trying so hard to hold back were now streaming down your face.

“Hey, hey…” He took in your appearance and instantly worried about you. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

“What the fuck happened to your phone? And everyone else’s for that matter!” You said, letting go of him and raising your voice without meaning to. Spencer knew you never yelled, so he was taken aback by your words.

“It died, ___, four hours ago, the power went out and the generator wasn’t working. Why are you screaming?” He rushed out.

“Because you never texted me back and I thought you were dead!” Your voice was a lot calmer now, much more frustrated and tired.

“Honey, I’m so sorry, everything happened so fast, I didn’t even think about my phone. I didn’t mean to make you angry; I promise.”

“I’m not angry, baby. At least not at you. I hate being here and not out there with you. I can’t sit around and wait for you to give me proof of life. it’s driving me insane and it has only happened once.” You groaned, choking back quiet sobs now. “I can’t lose you. I can’t be the last to find out.” You fell to the couch like your legs had stopped working.

Your husband was looking at you like he didn’t even think about that, like the realization had just hit him. You couldn’t blame him, neither of you were used to that dynamic of checking your phones because the one person you would want to update was always along for the ride.

“Baby, you’re not going to lose me. I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll care more about my phone. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He said, crouching to be eye to eye with you and taking your hands.

“No, no..I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous, I went crazy. You shouldn’t have to do that…” You kissed his knuckles and slid down the couch to sit on the floor with him. All you wanted was to be near him. You put your arms around his neck and whispered. “I love you, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was losing it. I’m not used to this feeling of not knowing where you are or if you’re okay, I felt helpless.”

“It’s okay hun, I get it, I love you too. We’re both new to this whole being-a part thing. If I’m honest, I don’t like it.” He pulled you to his lap so you were tangled up like a koala.

“I hate it. It 's the worst. I’m done with this break”

“Hotch is just looking out for you, he wanted to give you your space after the accident. You can talk to him and see how he feels about you coming back.” His reassuring words were already lightening the mood, and you were grateful he was fine. Once the adrenaline died down, the sleep you had been missing hit you like a ton of bricks. You stifled a yawn and planted a kiss on Spencer’s forehead.

“You’re tired. Let’s go to sleep.” He took notice of your droopy eyelids and went to stand up. “Have you been awake all this time?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t just go to bed.” You replied, removing yourself from his lap and taking his hand.

“Come on, let’s crash. I’m off tomorrow, we don’t have to wake up early.”

Oh, thank the lord.

“I’ll go to sleep, but I have one condition.” You said with your best attempt at a mischievous grin.

“What is it?” Spencer asked, knowing that tone and that face all too well.

“Get a stupid portable charger.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid blurb #cm

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bbdaydreams · 3 years

Text

Courage My Love// Semi Eita

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Summary: You like Semi and come up with a plan to confess to him, unfortunately it takes a turn. You meet again a couple years later by chance.

Chapter Four: Disappear

Warning: suggestive nsfw. Nothing explicit at all. STORY TAKES PLACE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL MEANING THEY ARE NO LONGER MINORS.

Series Masterlist•<previous•next>

—————

“Does he sing to all your music while you dance to "Purple Rain"? Does he do all these things, like I used to?”

“Eita! Stop! You’re making us depressed with all the sad songs you’ve been writing!” Ranmaru told the lead vocalist.

Semi put his palm over the strings of the acoustic guitar so they’d stop ringing and let his body relax against the cold wall behind him. “Sorry, can’t help it,” he mumbled.

Semi never got his chance to talk to you after graduation. He did notice that you only blocked his number and not his social medias but that was all he needed to know that you didn’t want to talk to him. He didn’t want to send you a direct message, solely because he was scared you’d end up blocking him on whatever platform he used. The last thing he wanted was to be completely out of your life. Even though he isn’t directly in your life, he still wants to support you from the side lines. Funny how things used to be the other way around.

“Guys, we should make him a tinder,” Subaru spoke.

“What? No! I don’t want one! I’m not ready,” Semi huffed.

“Eita, it’s been like three years. You’re twenty one now. I’m sorry but we’re tired of seeing you like this all the time. We can’t relate to what you’re going through but we can empathize with you. We can imagine how much pain you’re in and we want to help you,” Jiro argued.

“I’ve gone on a couple dates already and they were all bad. What’s talking to even more strangers gonna do?”

“Show you that there’s other people out there. I know you’ve seen me in an out of relationships a lot but I don’t regret a single one. They’ve each taught me something. Also I’m gonna be very blunt, you can’t miss what you never had. You’ve got to let go dude,” Ranmaru added.

“But I-“

“No Eita, you didn’t have them. You were only friends. Just give a chance? Please,” Subaru finished.

Semi took a look around the room before nodding his head yes. He could guess that his band mates were probably tired of dealing with him. They’re in college now trying to finish their education to have a back up plan since they still haven’t taken off yet but at the end of the day he knew the band comes first. It always has but the band is only as fun as you make it to be. They could play their instruments all they want but they have to play them in a way that fits the mood of the song and since Semi has been struggling with writing more upbeat catchy tunes, the sad boy crap gets repetitive. The others had to accommodate to him because of how much trouble he was having.

“I’ll download it now.”

“Y/n! Smile!” Tendou yelled before snapping a picture of you with his phone.

“Tendou, stop!” You laughed while reaching for his phone. He raised his arms to increase the distance and joined with you in your laughter.

“I’m sorry but you’re just so cute.”

You and him were currently walking back to your place from a date. After graduation, Tendou continued school and you moved into a small house with your band mates to make your living situation easier for all of you. You guys have gone on tours and such but you still haven’t had your big break through.

When you got to your home you invited Tendou inside and since no one else was home you didn’t have to greet them all before going into your room. “Whatcha wanna watch?” You asked him as you sat in your bed while flipping through channels.

“I’m down for anything,” he responded, getting into bed with you and attempting to lay on you. Picking a random show, you set the remote down before relaxing and combing your fingers through his hair which was now quiet long and down, different from how he had it in high school.

You two stayed in that position for a couple minutes while your mind started to wander off. Three years since you and the girls, two for Haruka, graduated and chose not to continue with school because the label seemed promising. Your band is currently working on an album after having multiple demos made and working part time jobs to have a more stable source of income. But also three years you spent with Tendou as your lover. And all of that was going to end soon because he was moving across the world for his career.

Three years is a lot of time to spend with someone romantically, especially when you’ve known them for longer. It’s not something you can just up and forget but unfortunately the both of you will have to move on. Tendou was still laying on you peacefully until he left a wet droplet on his face. Immediately he looked up and saw you with your eyes closed in at attempt to stop your tears. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he spoke softly, reaching a hand out to cup your face. You opened your eyes to look at him and gave him a sad smile that he returned. “Even when you cry, you’re beautiful, my paradise.”

Words of comfort was something Tendou never lacked. There was never a single time you’d consider him a bad boyfriend. And you were grateful to have him in your life. “I’m sorry,” you apologized for crying.

“It’s alright,” he laughed before sitting up to kiss you. This was your last day together before he left. Knowing that, you both gradually intensified the kiss that lead to more kisses. Kisses that lead to wandering hands. Wandering hands leading to the action that you both know would be the last time you were intimate together before Tendou left to his home to grab his luggage before heading off to the airport, to take a flight to France.

Once all the aftercare was done you slept in his arms for a good two hours until he woke up from the alarm he set on his phone. He knew better than to leave without saying a word so he woke you up too. “Paradise, wake up. I gotta go.” You unwillingly opened your eyes and rubbed them before focusing on him, his form already up and out of the bed. “I’ll miss you,” he started when he stood at your door, “thank you for giving me a chance.”

You looked at him with glossy eyes as he looked at you with his. Getting up from your bed you managed to make your way towards him to give him a kiss, your guy’s final kiss. Your relationship was now mutually over.

“I had so much fun on our date, Semi! You really are a great guy!”

“Thanks, I try,” Semi laughed as he lead the girl he was seeing to his dorm. Semi has been seeing this girl from his government course for about a month now and things seem to be going pretty well so far.

When they got to his dorm, she noticed his guitar and a couple of papers that had scribbles on them. “Oh? You play guitar? And you write music?” She asked innocently.

“Yeah I do.”

“Could you play me a song? Please?”

“Sure. I’ll even sing you one inspired by you,” Semi spoke smoothly. Being in the scene, Semi did pick up a thing or two on how to talk to girls, Subaru called it fan service.

Picking up the acoustic guitar on its stand, he gestured for her to take a seat on his bed while he sat down in a chair across from her. With the pick he retrieved from his pocket he proceeded to pluck each string to make sure it was tuned before playing a couple chords to make sure they sounded good as well. He looked up at her and took note of the smile on her face before looking back down at the guitar and playing a song he had finished writing about her two days ago. When he had finished, he looked up and was greeted with a frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked immediately setting the guitar down and walking towards her to cup her face. “Did you not like the song?”

“Semi, don’t touch me! Who is that song about?” she asked him, standing up so they were more level.

“It’s about you, babe-“

“Don’t call me babe either! Semi, we’re done!”

“What? Why?”

“What do you mean why? There’s clearly someone else! There’s no way that song is about me! My eyes aren’t that color and neither is my hair! I sound nothing like the girl in the song that you claim to love!”

“Let me explain-“

“There’s nothing to explain, Semi! Good night. We’re done,” she finished before walking out and slamming Semi’s door in the process. Burying his face into his pillow, Semi let out a grunt, not realizing his roommate had come in.

“I stopped by the cafeteria after my study group. I brought you a juice,” Subaru offered when he saw the ash blonde face down.

“Not in the mood, dude.”

“Fine. No juice for you.”

About two months after you and Tendou split up, your band’s album was released. All four of you were in awe when you first saw your first album in a store.

“It’s like.... our baby,” Haruka stated while looking through the glass.

“I know, right! Our first little baby,” Izumi added.

You and Yui were a couple feet behind them trying to contain your laughter but you had to admit you were just as amazed as them.

“C’mon! Let’s get our own copies!” Yui announced, leading the way inside. The rest of you followed and each picked up a copy ready to purchase it. “Not gonna lie, it makes me feel real fuzzy seeing our name and faces on this.”

“No kidding. We really worked hard for this, didn’t we?” You asked aloud. “Our first of many. Let’s hope Courage My Love can keep up with it.”

Walking towards the counter to pay one after the other the cashier put together that you guys were the ones on the album cover. “Is this you guys?”

“Yep! That’s us,” Izumi smiled. “It’s our first album!”

“Oh my! Congratulations! I recognize this as one of the new ones we got in last nights shipment. I’ll play it throughout the store today to listen,” the cashier told you all.

“Thank you so much, we’d really appreciate that,” you all spoke before heading towards the exit.

Walking through a park on your way to the grocery store, Izumi had a burst of energy she couldn’t help but expel. “We should take a picture!”

“But we have-“ Yui started before she was shushed by the tallest one from the group.

“Shhh- excuse me, sir? Could you take a picture of my friends and I?” she asked sweetly. The older gentleman agreed before asking Izumi how to use her phone. Once she explained to him she told the group what pose they should do. “We should hold them up and just pose with them together!” Complying with her idea, your amateur photographer took a couple pictures before handing the device back to its owner. You all thanked him and looked at the pictures he took before posting it to each of your social medias.

So excited to announce that our album is finally out! You can pick it up anywhere that sells cds or check it out on any music streaming apps. Thank you so much for your support!

-y/n<3

“Yo, this music kinda slaps. What band is this?” Ranmaru asked Semi who currently had the aux cord.

“Courage My Love,” Semi responded which resulted in Subaru letting out a loud groan.

“The hell is your problem?” Ranmaru asked the drummer.

“That’s fucking Y/n’s band! No wonder he’s been listening to it on repeat for the past week!”

Ranmaru immediately stepped on the breaks before turning around in his seat to look at Semi. “Eita, I’m only gonna ask once, give me the aux.”

Giving a small glare to the spikey silver haired bassist, Semi spoke, “no.... I don’t wanna.”

“Eita!” Ranmaru roared before leaning his torso to grab the other’s phone.

Jiro sitting in the passengers seat with wide eyes opted to grab the other end of the aux cord and unplug it directly from the source, resulting in everyone else getting quiet at the lack of music. “No more tunes till we get to the venue.”

Even after taking away aux privileges from him, Semi was quick to find a solution and use his headphones instead. He continued listening to your band’s new album, blown away from how much you’ve changed. He regretted everything he did to you but was also inspired by the woman you’ve become.

—————

a/n: just when I think I’m done with angst I write more and I just say oops to that. Also do you guys like the addition of songs for the chapters? Also sorry for all the jumping around during this chapter

Taglist:

@pluviophilefangirl @yourstarvic @sunaswife @mynscorner @syaziahvg @discountkiyoko

#haikyu #haikyuu!!#semi eita #semi eita x reader #semi haikyuu #semi x reader #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

The 5 Times Steve Felt Betrayed - Pt.1

and the 1 Time He Felt Like He Was Betraying You

Type: mini-series to a series (part 1 & part 2 & Part 3), Avenger!reader AU.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Matt Murdock & reader

Word count (ch1): 2400

Summary: After the fiasco in Nigeria, the world is fed up with dealing with the Avengers’ mess. The Sokovia Accords are invented. It’s understandable that the team is divided.

But Steve would never expect that The Accords would wedge a split between the two of you as well. And he sure as hell wouldn’t expect your disagreement not to end there.

Warnings: mentions of cheating, talk about what happened in Lagos during CA:CW, langauge, angst? (I mean, check out the title)

A/N: So, this mini-series is a part of the Melting Hearts ‘verse and follows the events of CA: Civil War, sometimes only referencing and kinda expecting the readers to knwo what’s up ;) obviously some things will be slightly altered.

Will be posted in double chapters (1st &2nd time, 3th & 4th, 5th+1)

────── ·❆· ──────

1. (Cause & Consequence)

“Our people's blood is spilled on foreign soil. Not only because of the actions of criminals, but by the indifference of those pledged to stop them. Victory at the expense of the innocent… is no victory at all.”

Steve shut the TV down, placing the remote control on the table. His fingers went to massage the bridge of his nose.

It was everywhere – a month after the fiasco in Lagos, they were still talking about it in the news. This time it was the king of Wakanda speaking, questioning the activities of the Avengers team.

And during the past weeks, he had barely been the only one.

Steve was well-aware of their mistakes – of his mistake. The way he had lost it with Rumlow was unforgivable, especially with so many lives lost. Wanda might have been the one to send the exploding man into the building full of civilians, but Steve was watching the source of the tragedy every goddamn day in the mirror.

He had failed to deal with the HYDRA mercenary. Wanda had saved Steve’s life when she removed the burning man out of his reach, accidently blowing up a building. You had tried your best to put out the fire in the building with your powers, but the damage had already been done.

It had been a collective error. But Steve knew that if they hadn’t been in Nigeria in the first place, many more people would die. And it was what he was trying to hold onto, some days handling it better than others.

If the public thought they didn’t feel remorse at what had happened, they were very, oh so very wrong.

He winced when the voice of the reporter he had just shut down evaded his ears again, and frowned.

He knew it couldn’t be you – you weren’t home, which was just another thing to make him feel like crap. You were spending a lot of time away lately – Steve couldn’t help but wondering if it was his fault too, if he had driven you away with his dark thoughts.

And then there were moments when he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t simply you not being able to look at him, not seeing him in the same light as you had used to when you had said yes to his proposal.

Were you gone because you were judging him for freezing at Bucky’s name? For not handling the situation? He couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed. Loving someone… it shouldn’t be about expecting something back, but… after all the support he gave you whenever you were struggling? He thought you would be there for him.

But maybe it was just too much for you, dealing with yourself and comforting him at the same time – it would only confirm his theory about you feeling guilty for some of the victims.

However… why wouldn’t you try to deal with your own feelings with Steve? He was hundred percent sure you thought you could have done more, be there sooner, hell, stop the explosion yourself. He knew you felt like it was your failure as much as his and Wanda’s – or at least he believed so.

But why were you seeking shelter somewhere else? He was your fiancé – a person you had agreed to spend the rest of your life with – so why weren’t you with him in a time like this? Your relationship had been very intimate from the very beginning after all, only blossoming into more with time.

So why had you gone to see another man again? He couldn’t help the nagging pang of betrayal and jealousy. You always said you needed to see Matt Murdock. How could it not get into his very core and wound him there? Especially when after those meetings with Matt, you always seemed restless, jumping at the slightest of sounds, often escaping to the gym, claiming you needed few more moments alone.

“I’m sorry,” you would always say, a regretful smile on your lips, your gaze avoiding his. “I just… I guess I just need to hit something and I don’t want you to see me like that.”

And then you would hug him, kiss his cheek gently, sometimes pressing your lips to his for a split second and you’d be gone. Truth to your words, you would always come back exhausted, but somewhat calmer and offering affection with more urgency than usual to make up for the lost time.

Steve had no idea what to think about that or how to approach the matter.

What he knew he could do, however, was to walk into Wanda’s room and turn off her goddamn TV, because he was sure the voice was coming from there – no one had watched the news with more intensity than her, always coming after any new bits about the incident in Lagos so she could torture herself.

That girl was way too much like you.

“It’s my fault,” she stated when she acknowledged his presence. It was hard not to, since he had turned off the broadcast.

“That’s not true.”

“Turn the TV back on. They’re being very specific.”

“Well, what they say on TV is a load of— stupid things. We both know that I should have handled the situation way before you had to intervene. People died. And unlike what they say on the news – that’s on me,” he said, heavily seating himself next to her on her bed.

She gave him a sorrowful smile. “Well. I guess it’s on both of us.”

And not on the three of us, Steve’s mind supplied helpfully in an instant and he sighed at the intrusive voice in the back of his head.

“She’s out again. I’m sorry. She’s taking it pretty hard, especially considering it wasn’t her fault at all,” Wanda offered gently and Steve mentally cursed at the mind-reader slash empath slash million other things. “She’s afraid too. She worries for you, because of the way the mission affected you. But she’s not blaming you.”

Steve eyed her, meeting her honest gaze full of compassion.

“Well, she could say that by herself, but she won’t. Instead…”

“You know… she was very fast at learning how to build a wall in her head to shield her thoughts from me. I can’t read her mind… but I can always tell there’s a lot on it when she comes back,” the Sokovian informed him and Steve stiffened.

Yeah, that was exactly the thing he did not want to hear.

“The thing is… she’s terrible at hiding her emotions. I… I’m not gonna pretend I don’t know what crosses your mind from time to time, I don’t need to read thoughts for that, or emotions. But I can tell you that she only has feelings for you, Steve. Her heart – it’s always with you. She’s carrying it on her sleeve, but it’s yours. You got yourself a good woman, Captain. A troubled one, sure,” she chuckled softly, apparently pleased she felt Steve’s relief. And relieved he was; you weren’t cheating on him. You weren’t thinking about cheating on him. You still loved him. You didn’t blame him. It was as if he could breathe again, indescribable weight falling off him. “But a loyal one and good one.”

Steve covered her hand with his, determined to sooth her as well. “Well. I knew from the beginning that you two were too much alike.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she smiled at him softly and Steve wished he wasn’t imagining the slightest relief in her eyes as well.

“No, Wanda. Thank you.”

────── ·❆· ──────

2. (Empty Promises)

The Sokovia Accords. A miraculous solution to the problem of the uncontrollable bunch of (mostly) superhumans that hold no responsibility for their action.

Go. To. Hell.

Steve wanted to burn the hundreds-pages document to ashes. It was nonsense. The document just shifted the blame to someone else and wanted to put all of them in check; in a way Steve didn’t like at all.

As long as he remembered, all he wanted was to do good – to serve his country, sure, but mainly to serve the people in it, serve a good purpose. And this regulation went straight against it. Hell, it went against the promise he had once made to the man who gave him the power to fight for a good cause, because he had thought Steve could value it. And he did. He heard Doctor Erskine’s voice as clearly as if he was sitting on the opposite bed at the Camp Lehigh, the night before the procedure.

‘Promise me, that you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier – but a good man.’

Being a perfect soldier meant obeying orders and not thinking twice it they meant doing the right thing or not. Being a good man meant standing for what he believed was good with his whole heart.

Signing this peace of— paper would go against everything he believed in.

“We’re not perfect, but the safest hands are still our own,” Steve finished the argumentation and that said it all.

He looked up at Tony with intense glare, his blue eyes gleaming with severity. The air felt too heavy to breathe, the silence itself weighting a ton.

It was your timid voice that cut it in the end and what you said made Steve’s heart ache.

“That’s not something all of us can say about themselves, Steve.”

His attention shifted to you, his lips parting at the well-known expression on your face. His shoulders slumped with a sigh.

Apparently, he had been right about Nigeria – you did feel guilty. And the beginning of your new life with powers had branded you forever as well; this was just another prove of that. A scar for life – the way you saw yourself after killing the scientists on accident, it was affecting you every goddamn minute of your existence and some were just more difficult than others.

“No matter the mistakes we have made, the lives lost on our watch – it doesn’t outweigh the good we’re doing,” he opposed you gently before turning back to Tony to make a point. “The good we might not be able to do if we sign.”

The billionaire huffed. “If we don’t do this now, it will be done to us later. That’s a fact. And it won’t be pretty.”

“You say they’ll come for me,” Wanda stated with scary steadiness to her voice and all eyes snapped to her.

“We would protect you.”

For some reason, Steve’s gut twisted at Vision’s measured voice. A discussion started all over again and Steve was slowly losing the grasp on who was on which side. He glanced your direction as you were observing the fighting team quietly, a troubled expression on your face – the very same he had seen all too often, every time you had come back to the compound.

With sudden urge to comfort you, he rose to his feet and made his way to you. It was when his phone vibrated in his pocket, announcing the worst possible news.

Peggy Carter had just died.

“I gotta go.”

────── ·❆· ──────

You had gone to London with him, together with Sam. It was… difficult. Soul-crashing. Steve knew that this day would come, possibly very soon, but it hit him like a train, the blow knocking him to the ground.

The blows just kept coming and Steve would love to make a cheeky comment about him being able to do that all day, but this beating was hitting him on places that really, really hurt and he couldn’t bear it. He cried when he carried the casket. He didn’t have the capacity to feel ashamed for it.

God knew you had been there for him as a silent support the whole time; even when he was shamelessly staring at the woman he knew as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and she introduced herself as Sharon Carter. Peggy’s niece.

To be fair, it wasn’t just the revelation of her relation to Peggy or her appearance – it was her, quoting an amazingly strong and inspirational woman, who had, just like Steve, always only wanted to do the right thing. It moved him in a way he wouldn’t be able to put into words if anyone asked him to do so.

You had given him a moment alone only when he had asked for it – you had left the church with everyone else.

It surprised him when he heard the door opening again after what could be a minute; but it wasn’t you. It was Natasha. Bringing up the issue of The Sokovia Accords that Steve had backburned without even realizing it.

His opinion hadn’t changed and he refused to leave to Vienna with Natasha. It was when you replaced her in the otherwise empty church, approaching him slowly and timidly, when he realized that you were about to that though.

“You’re coming with her,” he stated, unable to keep the bitterness off his tone.

Just another punch into his solar plexus. Sure. He could do this all day.

Your smaller hand caught his, for once warmer than his own despite the cold air of the church. Your eyes were on his too, searching in his face. He didn’t have the strength to hide anything from you now.

“Unless you want me to… no, not now. I don’t need to sign publicly – I’m a long way from Black Widow’s popularity and fame.”

“You know that’s not true,” he opposed wryly, too weak to snatch your hand away.

It felt too heavy against his, almost foreign; he hadn’t known if you had made up your mind and decided to sign, not until that moment, not for sure. Now he did. Yet, there was a comfort he was seeking in your touch, because it was something that always helped to calm him down, ground him. He was vainly chasing after the feeling now.

Sensing his struggle, you hesitantly brought your hand up to cup his cheek; on instinct more than anything else, he leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Your thumb skimmed over his skin, affectionate, giving.

“And you know I don’t need an audience,” you whispered. “I… I can’t imagine what you’re going through, Steve. I want to be here for you, if you want as well. Work can wait.”

Your words, your touch, your affection – it should all bring him peace, but it just wasn’t coming. His first true love had left this world, left him, and now it felt like you were leaving him too – leaving him behind and betraying an oath you had premised when you let him slip an engagement ring on your finger.

────── ·❆· ──────

Part 2 (the third and the fourth time)

────── ·❆· ──────

Thank you for reading!

I decided to post it here on tumblr in double-chapters, because they would be reatively short otherwise... but posting it as one monster chapter would be a bit much... I think.

Have a good start of your week!

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r6shippingdelivery · 3 years

Note

headcannons for hobbies? Like what they do on their off time?

Hi nonnie! I actually did a Hobbies HC for “all” ops a long time ago. But seeing that was before the expanded bios, and it only reached up to Gridlock and Mozzie, I’d say it’s time for an updated version, don’t you say?

Some of the answers are unchanged from the old post, because I already nailed it or the new info didn’t disprove my ideas. But I had to revise a lot of the answers I gave the first time around! In order to find their hobbies and/or get a glimpse of their lives beyond Rainbow and what they might like, I read all the bios, and looked up concept art, and elites, and past battlepass content, etc. And when none of that was enough, I just went with my gut instinct 😂 Thank you to @grain-crain-drain, @dagoth-menthol & @todragonsart for bouncing ideas with me when I was stuck! 💕

Hobbies Headcanons for ALL ops (up to Neon Dawn)

FBI

- Ash: According to her savta, shooting things is not a hobby, but Ash disagrees. And since according to her expanded bio she knows Hebrew, Arabic, English, French and Greek, I’m willing to bet she enjoys learning languages as well. - Thermite: He grew up on a ranch and loves riding. He’s also taken an interest in improving gadgets it seems, so my old proposal that he dabbles in forging/smithing stuff seems plausible. And based on this concept art, demolition derbies attending and maybe even competing himself too? - Pulse: He’s interested in a variety of topics and goes through phases of intense, nearly obsessive focus, until something else captures his attention. He still has a lingering fondness for building muscle cars, since it was something he used to do with his father. And like Thermite and Hibana, it seems he might enjoy demolition derbies. - Castle: He’s a language nerd, studying/reading/practicing new languages is his hobby for sure. Since the expanded bio says he rescues abused dogs, I don’t think it would be far fetched he volunteered at animal shelters too.

SAS

- Thatcher: Aside from repairing his boat, The Iron Maggie, he also enjoys fishing. He used to do that with his dad & brothers, and tried to take the rest of the SAS fishing as a bonding experience. It didn’t go very well - Sledge: He plays rugby, and has an inexplicable fondness of trying the wildest ideas that tend to end with something broken, be it one of his bones or a structure or wall (just read his extended psychological profile and you’ll see, lmao) - Smoke: Boxing, it helps him focus all his chaotic energy. And chemistry in general, it’s not just a hobby but a passion of his. - Mute: he enjoys tinkering with stuff, taking it apart and then putting it back together in a different way, just to see if he can improve it or make it work in his own way. Flying drones plays perfectly into that, with the added bonus of being able to do the flying part just for fun too.

GIGN

- Montagne: His main passion is working with people, teaching and mentoring others, and therefore when he’s not on duty, his main passtime still is mingling with people and getting to know them. I could see him making overtures with Castle, interested in the American and fascinated by his knowledge of various languages, an area Monty feels insecure about due to only knowing French and English. - Twitch: Engineering, robotics and developing an empathic AI is her life.Twitch is a workaholic passionate about those topics. She also greatly enjoys traveling and, according to her expanded bio, people watching. - Doc: He surely had some hobby at one point, but he can’t remember it, or the last time he had free time for it. Doc is also a workaholic, although one that loves to complain about it. - Rook: Apparently he’s passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts. Mainly cycling though, since he dropped out of university to cycle around France.

Spetsnaz

- Tachanka: He collects and repairs old weapons. Mostly soviet, but he has some interesting pieces from other countries too. And he dances surprisingly well. - Kapkan: Aside from a certain interest in psychology, his main hobby is hunting, of course. But he also whittles and carves wooden figurines. - Glaz: Quite obviously, painting. He’s an artist, and quite a good one. He also likes playing cards, especially poker. - Fuze: He builds new weapon prototypes for fun. And tests them, if he can convince Six of it. He also likes to bake from time to time, a skill he learnt thanks to his grandma - and because he has a sweet tooth.

GSG9

- Jäger: Planes. Model planes, repairing old WWI & II planes, you name it. And watching copious amounts of documentaries. - Bandit: His bike is his main hobby, both taking care of it and riding it. He also likes playing pool; and, if pranking people counts as a hobby, that’s his oldest one, dating from when he was a kid. - Blitz: He was and still is an athlete at heart, and Blitz loves running. - IQ: In order to disconnect from engineering pursuits, she indulges in rock climbing, spelunking, and writing science fiction stories.

JTF2

- Buck: He crafts mechanical puzzles, and enjoys all kinds of physical activity that can take place outdoors. - Frost: She just loves being surrounded by nature, and often goes mountain climbing or diving.

SEAL

- Valkyrie: Swimming and diving, of course! She wanted to be a professional swimmer, but now it’s just a hobby. And apparently she enrolled for a helicopter pilot license, and language classes. - Blackbeard: According to the expanded bios, he likes sailing and even participated in a championship. And since he climbed Mount Everest, it’s safe to say he also likes mountain climbing.

BOPE

- Capitao: He loves football, playing or watching it, doesn’t matter, he’s all for it. - Caveira: Spends a lot of time practicing Jiu Jitsu, in the gym and also on unofficial tournaments.

SAT

- Hibana: For her it’s traditional Japanese archery (Kyūdō). And probably demolition derbies too accounting that concept art from before with Thermite and Pulse. - Echo: According to the expanded bio, he has few interests outside work, but I always imagined he’d be into gaming and e-sports. Hacking too, and that’s a direct influence from Dokkaebi.

GEO

- Jackal: He plays the acoustic guitar/spanish guitar, and sings too. And now we also know he volunteers with at-risk youth. - Mira: Fixing cars is second nature to her, and thanks to her expanded bio we know she also does metal sculptures that incorporate used mechanical parts.

SDU

- Ying: Extreme driving, which can sometimes trigger her PTSD, and traveling. Especially exploring cities by randomly jumping in public transport and just going anywhere. - Lesion: He is also one to volunteer in underprivileged areas (like Junk Bay, where he grew up), and clearing mines and other unexploded devices. I also imagine him with a certain gusto for playing blackjack.

GROM

- Zofia: If obsessing about her father’s supposed suicide and the oddities surrounding it, and desperately trying to reconnect with her sister count as hobbies, sure, she has those. - Ela: She’s also an artist, one with a very particular vision that some have called narcissistic. Apparently she also does some “freelance” volunteer work, roaming the streets at night and offering help/comfort, or a willing ear to the people she meets.

707SMB

- Vigil: He likes to take walks around the forest, just aimless exploring and marvelling at nature and any animals he might come across. Often listens to relaxing music while doing so, and he might pick a pretty rock here and there to bring home. - Dokkaebi: Hacking is her hobby, of course. She also has several social media profiles and is an active member in a couple of hacking forums. As per a previous battlepass, I believe she enjoys mountain trekking too. And dancing to electro beat, due to her elite.

CBRN

- Lion: His rebel years left him with an appreciation for rock music and a dream to be in a group. Lion still plays the electric guitar, when he’s not off volunteering at the local church. - Finka: Pushed by her parents from a young age to try different sports, just like her siblings, she eventually discovered a strong love for fencing and ice-skating.

GIS

- Maestro: Cooking, and boxing, an interest he shares with Smoke. But mostly cooking. - Alibi: She’s also a marksman, engages Ash in friendly shooting competitions.

GSUTR

- Clash: She’s very involved in different activist causes, mostly surrounding racial issues and inequality. - Maverick: Photography, mostly nature or candid shots of his fellow operators. I also think he likes horses and riding. And Buzkashi of course, but he hasn’t played since he left Kabul.

GIGR

- Kaid: Playing chess, he’s a good strategist and it shows. And while dozing off with a cat on his lap is not a hobby, he also loves that. - Nomad: Traveling to all sorts of remote locations, she’s an explorer with a thirst to prove herself. She also keeps a travel journal, which includes maps and some drawings of the places she’s seen.

SASR

- Mozzie: Dirt biking, of course. The more dangerous the jumps and stunts are, the more he likes it. He knows his limits and works to surpass them. - Gridlock: Robotics. She still wants to compete again in robot championships, just like she and Mozzie did so many years ago. She would consider that fixing cars and vehicles has become more part of her job than a hobby, but still loves it too.

Phantom Sight

- Nokk: Fencing, as evidenced by some of her concept art, she participated in fencing tournaments. - Warden: He knows appearances are important, and he cultivated a very specific image, so he likes to take care of that, be it by buying luxury or antique cars, or designer suits, etc.

Ember Rise

- Amaru: Archeology and exploring the Amazon jungle is her passion. It used to be her whole life and job, but since she joined Rainbow, she’s been busy with training and missions, yet she never lost her love for adventure, history and protecting her country’s cultural artifacts. - Goyo: He’s a really good chess player, and enjoys other games where he either has to think, or his usual poker face and calm demeanor can throw his opponents off.

Shifting Tides

- Kali: When she’s not writing reports about her underlings progress, or making lists about who should be ascended/rewarded, who needs to be punished or chastised, etc, she’ll be doing yoga, since it helps her focus. Or hardcore pilates when she needs to burn away some frustration first. - Wamai: Diving and being underwater in general, be it on his special immersion tanks or on the actual sea, it doesn’t matter. He finds it calming (and he’s addicted to the anoxia sensation)

Void Edge

- Iana: Space exploration fascinates her, and she’s always trying to learn everything she can about the cosmos, watching documentaries and conducting her own in-depth research. - Oryx: Wrestling helps him hone his physical prowess, and it’s also a measured outlet for his deep seated rage. He also greatly enjoys reading poetry.

Steel Wave

- Melusi: She’s committed to the conservation cause, which stems from both her love of wildlife and nature, and her protective instincts. She likes to explore too, although she’s not driven by a will to prove herself or reach certain goals, but simply for the joy of seeing natural spaces. - Ace: Social Media. He’s obsessed with his public image and popularity. While he travels quite a bit, it seems he does it more to share new and exciting selfies on Instagram than for the pleasure of visiting new places.

Shadow Legacy

- Zero: He knits and crochets, it’s an engaging hobby that helps him clear his mind, plus he enjoys making stuff too. Not many people know about this side of him though.

Neon Dawn

- Aruni: She and Hero, her giant pouched rat, volunteer on landmine detection and removal efforts. She also likes to travel extensively, and has done so in the company of Twitch and Nomad.

#rainbow 6 siege #r6s #rainbow six siege #rainbow 6 #headcanons #Anonymous

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that-bi-bitch-writes · 3 years

Text

P S Y C H (ch.1)

I hate definition intros but it has to be done: The word "PSYCH" is commonly used online and in conversation as a slang term to indicate that something that has just been said or typed was intended as a prank on the recipient or a joke.

Also short for Psychic

Next Chapter

Say what you want about organized religion, but you can’t deny that it is one of the most dangerous weapons on the planet. For centuries people have developed weapons and fought wars in the name of their beliefs. They’ve conquered lands and assimilated nations. Give the people superpowers and there’s no way people don’t die on a daily basis. Unless you give them lame ass powers and call them quirks. God’s funny like that. Most people get run of the mill things like the ability to draw small objects close to them. That way there’s a power imbalance in the world. It’s less chaos if only a select few get the good abilities. Less people question God’s authority that way. Those who get the awesome superpowers are seen as blessed, divine. Honored.

[Mo.Name] [L.Name] was not blessed. She was liked by God at best. Being an empath, her quirk was not something to marvel at. If she worked hard to develop it, she could use her quirk offensively and defensively or even professionally but she would never be someone who was in charge of maintaining the world order.

As she grew older she would become disillusioned with God and the blessed individuals that policed over the nations. They called themselves heroes, and a few people were but everything about hero society just didn’t sit well with her. She became a teacher instead and worked with kids with special needs. When they had trouble expressing themselves she could use her quirk to get a feel for what they needed in the moment or she could project enough calmness that they could pull themselves together and communicate without throwing a fit.

She had a kid at a young age. 30 years old. Not too young and not too old. But by the time she was 35 she was a single mother. Her kid was the best. He didn’t cry too often and he learned how to speak very young. He soaked up information like a sponge and he didn’t develop a flashy quirk like the heroes she felt mild contempt for. Her baby was ignored by God.

Psych.

“No one is born equal. Yadda yadda yadda- How long has he been planning this monologue? No seriously it’s been playing in his head since the day (not really) we first met and I’m kind of bored of it now”

Izuku Midoriya was not a late bloomer. He never got his quirk, he has the extra toe joint, and he was bullied for being powerless. A Deku. [Name] [L.Name] WAS a late bloomer. He got teased a little, picked on. Sometimes people even gave him pitying looks. But it all ended when he turned about six. There’s that old saying: two roads diverged in a yellow wood. Well one of those roads is for those scorned, and the other for those who who were touched by fire yet never burned. The sinner and the saint. What a traveller wouldn’t know is, that at some point, the roads converge. How else are they supposed to get to the same destination?

Wonder, outsiders..who is on which road? What makes the sinner a sinner and not a saint?

“Using your quirk in public is illegal”

“And minding your own business is free” [Name] bit back. What’s a little telekinesis gonna do? Cause mass destruction? Widespread panic? He just didn’t want to touch the handle on the door. Public spaces are very unsanitary... it’s not like his arms are too sore to do any sort of lifting. Nope. Not at all.

[Name] had unfortunately spent the entire weekend doing his least favorite activity. Physical exercise. Of course with a quirk like his he’d rarely ever need physical strength, but that’s exactly what everyone else would think. And [Name] is the type of kid that wants you to doubt him so he can feel the rush of proving you wrong. It’s a warped mindset but when no one ever expects anything from you, it’s kind of a thrill to see the surprised looks on their faces. A psychic with impressive physical strength would be the same as someone 5’6 (167.6 cm) dominating a sport made for tall people. Like basketball. Or volleyball.

Anyway, [Name] was in the sportswear store, a place he’d rather not be caught dead in, trying to get support for his wrists. Most of his quirk usage was through precise hand movements, a slight flick of the wrist could easily send someone flying. His hands, and by extension his wrists were very important. A punch thrown wrong during training could fracture that oh so important wrist, hence the whole idea of getting wrist wraps.

For once [Name] was actually being proactive and he was very proud of himself for thinking of the idea in the first place. His eyes glowed golden as he reached his hand out to grab the wraps floating down from the top shelf. The UA exams were in about a week and a half and he had no idea what to expect. So he would train for everything they could throw at him. Even if it meant he had to go back to throwing punches at an oversized bag of sand.

[Name] used his telekinesis so often the drawback was nearly negligible. But if he did overuse it, the damage was a headache that could range from minor inconveniences like losing your chapstick, to a grenade going off in an enclosed space. The big ones weren’t usually the problem. The problem would be somewhere in the middle, because it would cause him to lose control of his telepathy, and once the headache combined with the voices of everyone in a 50 meter vicinity his brain would get seriously overwhelmed. Ultimately he’d be passed out on the ground within 5 minutes.

For the first year and a half of middle school three times a week [Name] would have fighting training along with weight training, alternating days so that he’d have a break in between each session. This was all pretty much to catch up with his rapidly developing quirk. [Name]’s body wasn’t prepared for the use of his quirk. He grew to the age of 6 doing things normally until his untapped power literally exploded out of him. Talk about damage control. For quirk training he usually offered to help his neighbor who ran a junkyard by lifting cars and other heavy things telekinetically. An unofficial part of the training regime, [Name] would also read other people’s thoughts all day everyday. He said it was to get used to hearing others’ voices in his head. But that was only a half truth. [Name] was just extremely nosy, but he went about it in a casual way. He probably should apologize for the invasion of privacy but he loved every minute of it. Besides, listening to the spirits of others could be considered a god-honored practice.

On the day of the entrance exams [Name] regretted everything. He’d decided to become a hero for fun, less than two weeks prior (the whole reason he went to the sportswear store and started working out again), and by the grace of god he was regretting it. Not because he was nervous he’d fail, at least he wasn’t before he got there. It was just SO loud. He’d gotten better at controlling his quirk since he began using telepathy to eavesdrop but the last time he was in a room full of this many people was the middle school entrance ceremony (which he skipped halfway through because of a headache. By the way how could so many kids sitting in silence be so loud). It made sense, he was not used to having to deal with the noise of people muttering, thinking, PANICKING. And now that his quirk is stronger than what it was before everything felt ten times worse. [Name] leaned forward and tapped the green haired boy sitting in front of him muttering. Not only could he hear the boy’s thoughts going a mile a minute but his mouth was too. The kid whipped around eyes wide and shook nervously. [Name] was about to ask him to quiet down but got confused when he made sense of the kid’s thoughts.

The kid was obviously a fanboy muttering about Present Mic who was getting on [Name]’s nerves a little with his exorbitant amount of energy. Before [Name] could say anything the ash-blonde near the fanboy spoke up.

“He’s probably telling you to shaddup”

The green haired boy opened his mouth to apologize and then realized he would be making more noise and quickly shut it before nodding profusely. [Name] was tired of referring to them by their hair colors and may have invaded the fanboy’s head for some background information on the two and got more than he bargained for. The fanboy whose name was apparently Izuku, was not only sitting next to Bakugou, his childhood bully, but just this morning he had gained an immense amount of power, officially becoming All Might’s successor. Oh look, two of them would be taking the exam in the same area. Things at UA were gonna get interesting.

#bnha x male reader #mha x male #male reader #male reader insert #x male reader #m!reader #m!reader insert #x m!reader #bnha #mha #that bi bitch writes #that-bi-bitch-writes #psych

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notcruel-archive · 2 years

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ALL MY THOUGHTS AND KINDA METAS I WROTE DURING MY REWATCH. Yes this is a lot of rambling and a lot of missed punctuation but.... love me anyway.

the way he says wait ash, wait ash NO like he was willing to let Custer walk out also the guilt fez is gonna feel feeling a life leave his hands because he's seen a lot of people die but didn't help them die this is why I can't write fez I'm too emotional about it also living on a farm meaning freedom living on a farm for so many people means independence and libration from the outside world and the fact that that's what fez dreams about after being under the pressure or having to care for other and that's literally what little house on the prairie was it was a family being on heir own and being independent and free and then little house on the prairie also was about creating your own laws and making your own value system (i watched that with my mom) so knowing that's something that he wanted also lexi (being a good mom) because that's a worry she has being a good mom and not wanting to be like her own mother "you really have this all figured out huh" how fez probably doesn't see that yes she might have three kids thought out in theory but this is also the girl who hasn't had sew with someone and "the littlest exchange and I fall in love" means she wouldn't have thought about having that kind of life with anyone else

I hate guns nobody's ever gotten shot at and thought to they-self whoa thank goodness we didn't have a gun to shoo back you know meaning like yeah I know you're not in favor of guns but sometimes they're necessary but also like him trying to challenge her thoughts of 1. not just whether guns are necessary but 2. telling her that guns aren't for violence but they're for protection, furthering the thought that fez doesn't use guns or violence for intimidation but merely for the protection of people he cares about and as an absolute last measure

yeah then but what are the police for fuck if I know, shit showing that not only are they different but showing that they have a very different view on what police's duty is. While lexi has always seen them as protectors, fez possibly always saw them as a nuisance, as a detriment to his own survival and as a blockade against who he was trying to be which was first and above all a provider for his family i'm so damn drunk but I can't help it you can connect with people who have similar interests meaning you could have connected with me sooner but also you can not be so alone in the fact that you only have rue and ash say if I like a girl I want to find out what she's about on my own like how he's finding out about what lexi is about on his own realizing that any misconceptions he had about her are wrong and that maybe he shouldn't have seen her as just the girl who didn't like to smoke weed even if she hung out with rue even if she was smart and knew about pagan rituals and the history of christmas that there was more to her i don't wanna google the scraps. I want to peel back the layers and the fact that this play (that she dedicated to him) was all of her layer on display, that this was all of who she was from the age of 13 and 1. he didn't get to see but 2. that he would have encouraged her to put on and 3. that he was able to not just google the scraps because of the fact that she was such a background person breaks my heart "that's the important thing that people don't post online" even when lexi is trying to rationalize the fact that she likes him even if they might not have lost of things in common he is there admitting that the things they share aren't just superficial that having the same sense of humor, being empathic and curious and wanting kids he calms her ans basically says that those things ARE important add that to the fact that they fall asleep to the thougt of one another in a world where we see that fez is paranoid or at least vigilant about cal and how when he finds faye or in a world where he might know that laurie isn't a great business partner he still finds peace and comfort in talking to lexi at night and then knowing that she wants to be with him too his shuddering breaths while custer's phone is in the seven eleven cup realizing that the dreams he had, little house on the prairie, his three kinds isn't possible lexi checking her phone not only with the overwhelming sense that something bad is going to happen but that it has because she knows he wouldn't have broken a promise to here heading out. the way she wanted him there not just so see her but the way she would have stopped her breathing that we say before bobbi said we're ready to send that out

the way that lexi wanted him there to see that she was standing up for herself, that she was being brave, that she was willing to hurt her sister's feelings if it meant standing up for herself and then knowing that he wasn't there cassie saying how hard lexi's life is as if she hasn't tried to say that her life isn't hasn't been hard because I'm the one who takes risks "show us your boobs!" "I'm the one who falls in love? I'm the one who gets hurt, not your lexi,. You never even fucking lived. that's what you'e able to stand up here and judge all of us." meanwhile it's because lexi wasn't able to be that. she wasn't able to fall in love, she wasn't able to be the one who got hurt or the one who lived because she was too worried about trying to take care of others. "mom this isn't fair!" "it's not her fault she's a writer" not it's not her fault because this is her side of the story that no one's ever asked her if she can say and now we can't take her truth away from her. we cant say she's not valued because this is her experience i already commented on maddy's comment but like cassie trying to say no about her most embarrassing moment like Everyone had known about it and half of cassie' embarrassing moments is because she wasn't willing to take ownership of everything that she's done I think everyone is so willing to be like poor cassie and shit but there is so much power in saying yeah I did that, so the fuck what instead of being like.... oh yeah I did that, but that's not who I am or I don't talk about that or it was a stupid mistake and I think that's part of cassie's downfall if she were willing to say yeah I did that, so what. it takes ownership and it takes power away from those that might want to tease her or fault her for her actions. She’d rather “be all innocent” "my baby's a genius" even when she knows that things are falling apart suze has always taught the girls to pretend like it's part of life, part of the act. The same way she has told cassie to just go with it with guys, the same way she has told cassie that it would be rude not to get in the car while her dad is high, suze is showing that they need to keep up appearances. also about this song it just shows further proof of elliot's guilt and how he sees her as a friend, how he values who rue is as a human. how he sees her friendship as something that he does hope was worth not only "it" but the pain and strife that they have gone through the way bobbi was able to bring lexi up even without knowing her well enough. without thinking that lexi wasn't worth it. bobbi belived in lexi blindly.

rue cheering on lexi and starting the chant. It wasn't about finishing the play or about herself or about the girls who might have been fighting around school. it was about supporting her friend and making sure hat lexi knew that she did have room to say things that were a part of her story. The person who literally has the worst anxiety found power in trying to stir an audience for her best friend

the way lexi internalized everything that fez said."even thought he couldn't be here tonight” the way she broke a bit. “A friend about this play” there was a slight pause after friend but also to allow for her pain at knowing that he's not there. How she’s used to people leaving her waiting on the curb and although she doesn’t know why but knowing that she wanted him to be there and see this side of her, to see the layers, to not have google but his own eyes see into her mind and him not being there hurts.

listen to me. i did this shit. I killed this motherfucka it's not in the literal sense but fez takes blame for who he raised and who ash became because he was one one that raised him come on go wash yo fucking hands. while fez literally watches his brother die with blood on his hands because of what ash did. “I love you brother” because for fez love has been sacrifice and a weakness.

and ash not lexi was his greatest weakness how you think this gon end bruh even with all that he has to deal with despite knowing he'll "go down for longer" fez is worried about ash's end and not even his own you trying to die and then the zoom in on the door where the toy jesus still hangs the way come on bruh please isn't just a plea for ash to give the gun but fez basically begging ash to live, to still be there for him, to just not do anything that he would regret or that would mean he has to lose him ash hitting fez but keeping it at just the one when he knows that it can keep fez down but isn't as aggressive as how he was with cal and fez being hit in the head and on the ground "dark spot" i don't care about nate and cal why bring a gun if you weren't gonna use it NATHANIEL all the best parts of him. the joke that it's just his dick wow. like really cal surrounds himself with trash.

the way that nate sees injustice and fairness is interesting and how he says that they both get off on hurting other people but yet still expects fairness out of life. I just need someone to delve into that thought process a little more I spent my whole life trying to protect you and instead of loving me you fucking hated me for it. interesting nate but like I need someone to explain how nate watching the tapes and keeping his secret was protecting cal. Nate's sense of protection and where he might have seen where he was protecting his father. because right now I don't see it i tried to keep it separate and I failed there seems to be so much left unsaid here because in what way did he completely fail other than the tapes? "I should have kept you safe. I should have protected you, and there's nothing i REGRET MORE" the way that he just said that instead of continuing on his drunken rambling about how nate is his biggest regret instead it's the fact that he didn't protect nate I just want revenge and the way that he has never wanted apologies at all you are who you are and I don't think you're ever going to change was change the goal here? ]anyone can anonymously report child pornography but the way nate didn't want to be anonymous gives hella olena tyrell vibes. let him know it was me the way faye's eyes still move like she's still trying to see what happens to fez and ash

the way fez says it's a kid in here. The way he no longer is his "business partner" he's no longer just his brother but a kid, someone who has a life half lived and not someone who should be in this situation. A kid. A kid who shouldn’t be harmed or seen as a genuine threat because he wants that life for ash. Please don't shoot he's not begging for his life but for ash's. The way it's not the raid team's bullet that shoots fez but Ash's. He was literally shot by someone that should have been on his team. The way lexi's letter falls over him. while everyone else has guns or bullet proof vests all fez has is his voice, his love for his brother and his letter for lexi to protect him. Fez asking for ash to answer him because even if he doesn't talk much he still always expects his little brother to answer his calls. The way ash shoots the officer but then begins shaking. He's already killed two people before and now this officer being the third but this is the one you see him visibly shaken because for once it was someone that wasn't a direct threat to fez but seeing that fez was right there looking at him bleeding on the ground leaving him shaken too. The way ash sees the light, not just the red light, but the literal light in the sense of rationality that he messed up and then realizing that he's going to die for the mistake he just made instead of just listening to his brother kills me. Fez crying but looking up towards the sky "heaven" praying because he just saw his brother die

"what are the police for?" hell if I know- they're for this. they're there to kill his brother while other cops are carting away cal we see that they're also good for causing Fez emotional trauma. I was in the hall when you died. This is the scene that scars her forever, and the way we can see that this is something that fez also won't recover from

Lexi's hug while in the hospital coming from someone who has been in hospitals during traumatic events it must have taken lexi a lot of strength to go back to the hospital where she would have been with her dad. She would have probably been anxious but showing up for her friend just like how she showed up for her dad shows how she views Rue as family and as someone worth running to. She goes alone instead of with her mom and sister because this is important to her

I feel like your whole life you've been forced to take care of everyone because she has but also care for others while neglecting one's self is a negative coping mechanism that is 1. hard to unlearn and 2. hard to admit to doing so the fact that suze says it and lexi's small nod is finally giving her what she needs in order for her to accept that yes it is something that she's had to do

"it was so quiet" rue has said in the past that drugs made it quiet or quieted the noise so the fact that it was so quiet now hurts because she's stayed in that pain and has stayed in those quiet moments because she's not ready to move on from that and not because of the fact that she wants the noise to stop because of her anxiety so much. “I wasn't present I wasn't actually there” and the way she hasn't been present or there for most of the time after. "you only care about yourself" "that's not true I do care" and those parallels of how Rue is so deeply wounded by the fact that she actually does care so much about not just everyone around her and is observant enough to be able to narrate things for us the audience but cares so much that she numbs herself to caring.

I wanted to believe that losing you was a part of a larger story. but the way they zoomed in on fez being numb and just being there and lexi's letter being trampled on. Why would they do that to me?

jules crying but because of the fact that this is the first time she's seen things about rue before she met her and this is kind of like the origin story of the girl that she loves

I miss you until I close my eyes. that's it. thank you and the WAY RUE CLOSES HER EYES BECAUSE IN THAT MOMENT SHE MISSES HER DAD SO MUCH AND SHE'S ABLE TO REMEMBER THAT THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID. FUUUUUCK is this call real or nah SAM LEVINSON BECAUSE rue was walking out of the theater after the play and everyone was still in the bathroom..... i'm going with it was true the way that rue at the window is shot in the same way that rue and jules and the bed and wall scene is hurts me but heals me. because it is such a pivotal moment in rue's life that we see before jules people are just way more dramatic "why is everyone being like so dramatic?" post carnival. the Maddy parallels. all the senior guys are like nice. that's because boobs cassie

the way lexi is trying to protect her best friend from having this sad moment. “No one wants to remember this moment” because they shouldn't and it's pain

your play was the first time I was able to look at my life and not hate myself because lexi showed her life and lexi loves rue and would never show rue that she is a horrible person because "don't say that. you're not a burden" and the way lexi is the only person who could give rue the comfort she needed because she's seen rue through every stage, most milestones, was never judged by rue so her perspective of Rue would never be from a place of judgement. For lexi hearing that not only she liked her play but that she wasn't hurt by it "some people need their feelings hurt" helped her in ways that bobbi's speech couldn't. It proved to lexi that her intentions were interpreted for what she wanted them to be, that rue was able to see through the fanfare and spotlights and was able to see that this was "our life" a view of who they are as rounded people. "but you've been through a lot and you know what to do with it" "I don't know about that" because she has had to do what she needed in order to keep going and caring for those she loves, but also because she's also a kid. Rue saying she knows what to do with it probably made lexi feel like "Like, being a teenager, but not really being able to do teenager stuff."

"look at what you made. I don't know how to do that" the way lexi is making her take the compliment in her own way the same way Fez asks "why you always doin that shit" "what?" "I don't know doubting yourself and shit>"

"I don't know how to get to where you are." Because for as long as they've known each other they've walked the path of life together, but now rue probably feels left behind in her grief when "we've drifted apart" and knowing that Rue wants to get to where lexi is isn't just about her grief but is about being her past self that was clean

seeing it meant the world to me. For someone who has talked about suicide so much and killing herself knowing that she saw Lexi's play and that it meant something to her shows she is on her path to recover for real seeing it wasn't some last goodbye or last thing she wanted to do. It was something she needed because even if Leslie says that Rue "broke" her, Lexi reminded Rue that there's more to her than someone who is a "crackhead"

do you think about your dad often? and the way she nods. Anger and how it's another stage of grief. "it's a bit more complicated” because lexi has more disenfranchised grief or grief of not knowing what happened to her father. It's a loss but also one that society as well sees as one that isn't that great because of who her father was. Add that to the relief of one less thing to worry about but add in the fear in the back of her mind knowing that her father could be dead

but you figured it out. paralleled with Fez’s you really have this all figured out huh?” from earlier

You have to give it a reason. The way rue is talking about giving meaning to purpose, and how this is a contrast to how rue felt in her special episode

“You know, ’cause every time someone survives, like, a mass shooting or some terrible fcking earthquake, they always say, you know, “I survived for a reason. God saved me for a reason. I have a purpose.” (scoffs) And then I think to myself, like, okay, well, what you’re saying is that your life is more important than that six-year-old who died that day, or the newborn who died that day, or anybody fcking else who died that day. Your life has a purpose, right? Well, why does your life have a purpose, and my dad’s doesn’t? Because I could argue that my dad’s purpose was to raise me and my sister. To be there for my mom. That was his purpose, I think. But, you know. He’s dead.” (special episode)

now she's saying "I don't want to hold on to this forever. I can't- I can't hold on to it forever" it not only being her grief but her dependency on drugs in order to cope with the pain of not having a purpose for her dad's death

I promise you it's not all his fault. the way rue is able to give her a perspective on her father that she possibly hasn't been able to have before and knowing that Rue is the only one that would understand how Gus would be trying because only loss is greater than love and love is still something worth being a better person for

"but that's also the problem because he only wants to be better for you" let's not forget how rue said she wants to be remembered as someone who tried really hard. How Rue tried being clean for Jules and how that fell apart after Jules got on the train and how Rue now recognizes that her sobriety can't rely solely on one person

I miss you while being held by jade being the last words said in the play kills me, because the whole play wasn't about Cassie, it wasn't about living in her sister's shadow. It was about her life and Rue's life and how she misses her best friend

Kat sitting between Maddy and Cassie ready to stop another fight Really Cassie. you got your ass beat, your nose bleeding and you're thinking of Nate. You're thinking about how this is about Nate. NO Maddy said through the door this isn't about Nate she said it's about your friendship. What can't you get through that big ass bobble head of yours, Cassandra?

“Don't worry, this is just the beginning.” Maddy knowing that it's just the beginning because she knows how Nate is, she knows how the relationship with him can be. Maddy being the one to walk away first just proving that she's walking away from Nate and Cassie

rue saying that is going to be one I’m sorry that is going to take longer to Elliot about Jules earlier isn’t so much about I’m sorry its about forgiveness of herself and she isn’t able to completely forgive herself even after the play so rue just kissing Jules’s forehead without another word isn’t a rejection its more of like an apology and a way for her to put a pin in things because she isn’t willing to forgive herself for all the terrible things she has put Jules and all of their friends through and ultimate acceptance according to sam has always been in the way that rue sees herself with Jules, so kissing her head but not asking for acceptance and forgiveness then is the same as not asking for acceptance and forgiveness from Jules. While it's not an empty train station it's a mostly empty auditorium but it's still her left alone with her love for Rue. The fact that Jules probably would think that this is karma for leaving rue at the train station hurts

"I don't know if that's actually true though. I was high for too much of it". I mean fair but high or not I wouldn't say that it wasn't love "I hope she forgives me” and I'm trying while I'm tired starts playing with new lyrics

"It's all I got, is this enough. hey lord I wanna stay. Hey lord I'm on my way”

relate that back to how Rue doesn't believe in a higher power and religion being a huge point of contention for her. Her mother raised in the church and from her dad's funeral being jewish. The way that it would have always been in her to battle with religion, the way AA does have faith based practice and the way the season opening the first words we see are “God’s word, God’s will.” The poetry in that and just how perfect it is to start and end on a religious note.

#♡ not supposed to be here right now → ooc

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