soberqueerinthewild

[soberqueerinthewild]

Some of us unfortunately can relate to lusting after someone and then once you get them the sex is bad

#was he bad at sex? #or am I just gayer than I think I am? #possibly both

[soberqueerinthewild]

it wasn’t that the con man alone was the loss of her life it’s that the entire SITUATION was the loss of her life. losses on losses of dreams and fate and destiny and love and companionship and and and

#correct

[soberqueerinthewild]

Does anyone else just randomly feel like they're annoying everyone around them and that they should just disappear for a while to give everyone else a break from their existence, or is that just me?

#unfortunately yes

[soberqueerinthewild]

alright. i popped the largest tayvis pill known to man. get me off the floor. well really GET HIM OFF THE FLOOR cause wth

https://x.com/taysservant/status/1785195946550140983?s=46

Good lord

#taylor and travis #I’m sorry I’m so obsessed with him kissing every inch of whatever part of her he can reach

[soberqueerinthewild]

Loml is the saddest song I’ve ever heard. “It was momentary. It was unnecessary” makes me wanna vomit every fucking time

#because it was so fucking unnecessary

[soberqueerinthewild]

0 note flops only get funnier the more followers you accumulate, like shooting with precise aim and skill a perfectly straight line through an ever increasing line of axe heads directly into the trash

#lol most my Taylor posts are 0-2 notes #unless Jaime or Caroline reblog them #and then I’m like wtf when I check my notifications

[soberqueerinthewild]

Thinking about the journey from:

Some boys are trying too hard/he don’t try at all though

To

“Do something, babe, risk something”

#taylor swift #ready for it #you’re losing me

[soberqueerinthewild]

@taylortruther if your Tolerate It anon is interested, here’s a post I had in the drafts of all the parallels I thought of from Tolerate It to other songs

***

I sit and watch you

And notice everything you do or don't do

***

Fresh Out The Slammer:

Another summer taking cover, rolling thunder

***

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

***

Peace: Your integrity makes me seem small

***

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

***

You’re Losing Me:

"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something)

"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losin' me)

***

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

***

So Long, London:

Every breath feels like rarest air, when you’re not sure if he wants to be there

***

I take your indiscretions all in good fun

***

Fresh Out The Slammer: He was with her in dreams

***

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

***

So Long, London:

I didn’t opt in to be your odd man out

***

Always taking up too much space and time

***

Anti-hero

Too big to hang out

***

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

***

Invisible String:

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

***

You assume I'm fine

***

You’re Losing Me:

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

***

Break free and leave us in ruins

Took this dagger in me and removed it

Gain the weight of you then lose it

Believe me, I could do it

***

So Long, London:

Just how low did you think I’d go

For I’d self implode

For I’d have to go be free

[soberqueerinthewild]

Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re listening to So Long, London

#it’s such a visceral feeling that song #taylor swift

[soberqueerinthewild]

put in the tags where you were this april 29th

#worked from home #which I do every day #walked a lot on my under desk treadmill #took my daughter to the playground after work

[soberqueerinthewild]

I fundamentally disagree with Thomas Jefferson and Mark Twain. "Never use two words when one will do," "don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do," I'm going to turn a single sentence into an essay and it's going to cost five hundred dollars per word because those are the right words to get across what I mean without ambiguity and misunderstanding, thankyouverymuch

#we know our girl Taylor agrees #sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see

[soberqueerinthewild]

in the silence that only comes when two people understand each other // my white-knuckle dying grip, holding tight to your quiet resentment // don't want money, just want someone who wants my company

#silent dinners #bitter #you left me at the house #too big to hang out

[soberqueerinthewild]

taylor: my bf has blue days and suffers from mental illness. i have depression and feel like im gonna die.

people: oh i feel bad for him :/ did you say anything else? no? okay 👍

#lol the way I wrote like 2 pages about this

[soberqueerinthewild]

I’ve written about this a lot before but it bears reiterating now.

I’ve seen some takes that essentially say Taylor was callous because she broke up with Joe because he “couldn’t get over his depression” and how cruel that is when she said she loves him.

And I think that a lot of the people who think that are identifying with Joe, and empathizing with him and suffering from a version of somewhat understandable main character syndrome. I see this a lot in advice on how to be there for someone struggling with their mental health. It says things like “keep reaching out even if they ignore you. They appreciate it.” “Keep inviting them to do things even if they say no” “Continue letting them know you are there for them to talk to even if they repeatedly shut you out.” And I’m not saying this is bad advice, but it makes it sound like there is one person who struggles with their mental health surrounded by supporting characters who are 100% healthy and able to give an endless supply of emotional energy and that they never have mental health struggles that are impacted by this. (My mental health for instance tanks when I reach out over and over and get rejected because I feel like no one likes me)

From what I can tell from her music (which by the way is the only indication we have that Joe struggles with his mental health, so if we are accepting that premise we need to accept everything else she says about it) Taylor followed a lot of this advice for a long time.

Years of labor locks and ceilings

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

Always rising from the ashes

There was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyways

And she tried and tried until it was having a hugely detrimental impact on her mental health which she relates

She discusses how she had to revert into a dream world because of the impact of it:

I dreamed about it in the dark the night I felt like I might die

She talks about how holding on to the relationship made her feel:

I know my pain was such an imposition

My white-knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes weary bones caught the chill

She had a huge amount of anxiety about the relationship so much that her friends noticed how it was impacting her

My friends say it isn’t right to be scared every day of a love affair

My friends tried but I wouldn’t hear it/watched me daily disappearing

She got to the point where she wasn’t sure he even wanted her

Every breath feels like rarest air/When you’re not sure if he wants to be there

Is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything or do you just not want to

I wouldn’t marry me either

Her mental health was deteriorating, so if Joe deserved a partner that would support him when his mental health was struggling, doesn’t Taylor? There’s no evidence that he was able to give that to her and she felt very misunderstood by him

My face was gray but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick

How can you say you love someone you can’t tell is dying

You never read into my melancholia

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic

You say you don’t understand and I say I know you don’t

He don’t understand me

A pathological people pleaser/who only wanted you to see her

Why is his mental health considered more important than hers? One person doesn’t get to call dibs on being the one with mental health problems while the other person is assigned to be the supporting character forever.

It’s also clear she had hopes and dreams for a future that involved marriage and kids that he couldn’t or wouldn’t give her. So should she should give those up so as not to leave her partner who is depressed and be labeled a bad person?

It isn’t his fault that he’s depressed but Taylor clearly has mental health struggles too and one is not more important to the other. They were unable to be good partners to each other due to this, so ending it was the right thing. Were there better ways to do it, yes! But she was clearly struggling so incredibly much that I for one, will give her grace and understanding

#taylor swift #mental health #tw sucidal ideation

[soberqueerinthewild]

#evermore #it’s very tolerate it and happiness coded

[soberqueerinthewild]

I do want to say something about this because it’s incredibly textbook language for older men dating younger women.

He told her she was “wise beyond her years” (see also: an old soul, mature for your age or anything similar) so it was fine that he was nearly 30 and she was 20 years old because “age is just a number” but she’s “not like other girls and is wise beyond her years” so it’s not sketchy or sleazy for him to be pursuing someone much younger than him.

This is a tactic used to flatter young women into distrusting their own instincts (she wasn’t sure because it actually felt sketchy to her) and not wondering why someone isn’t dating someone their own age (the answer always being that they enjoy being able to manipulate younger women and/or women their own age are much better at sniffing out bullshit.)

If any man ever says this to you, I want you to run immediately in the other direction. Please also see my other post about the gross thing he said about “the sex being half as good as the conversation”

Ok this might be a stupid question pls forgive me. I don’t know what she means when she says in the manuscript, “he said since she was so wise beyond her years everything had been above board”. What does this mean??

there is no phrasing that feels like i can explain this in a way that feels appropriately delicate

#TTPD #taylor swift #cw manipulation #cw sex mention

[soberqueerinthewild]

Can you tell us what you think “stopped trying to drill the safe” means?

well, a safe is a strong object used to protect/hide valuables. ideally, you unlock a safe with a code, and it opens freely, but if you don't have the code, you need to find ways to force your way in, like by drilling through the sides.

it paints a picture of joe as someone who's private, guarded, impenetrable, at least to taylor. she couldn't get him to open up to her, and she made the decision to stop trying to force it.

also reminds me of the alcott (i had to do something to break into your golden thinking) and how it's a story of a couple that is drifting from each other, they're becoming strangers to each other.

also reminds me of hoax (you knew the password so i let you in the door) and how that describes a relationship where she's been deeply hurt by someone who knows her tenderest, most vulnerable wounds.

and renegade (there was nowhere for me to stay, but i stayed anyway ... open the blinds, let me see your face), where she's begging her partner to let her in. she couldn't crack the safe.

#yes this #and years of labor locks and ceilings #she worked so hard and kept encountering locks and ceilings when she tried to reach him