#i have felt like a shell of myself and all because of what. some fucking spores

[aefensteorrra]

uh so I have (mild) pneumonia because of the mould which... putting into words how that makes me feel mentally is so hard. today has been a lot to process. now I'm two pills in to a course of very strong antibiotics, sat in my dad's (mould-free) flat in a different city. but I don't know how long I can stay here, my dad is sleeping on his sofa rn so that I can stay here. gaining a little bit more mental clarity and hoping to feel like a real person again soon.

#it's so scary how this stuff messes with you mentally #i have felt like a shell of myself and all because of what. some fucking spores #it's so so scary.. #what a way to end this year huh. get my msc. get a job. get pneumonia bc of mould toxicity

[joelsgreys]

conflicted

Raider! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: Your captor gives you a bath. You have some conflicting feelings when he touches you.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. RAIDER ERA. DARK!JOEL. DUBCON. also tagging elements of NONCON just to be on the safe side. UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 50). READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION. mentions of Joel’s group murdering reader’s group, Joel killed her father, mention of blood, Joel pretty much kidnaps reader and keeps her as his own. pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, pretty girl, little girl), daddy kink, very minimal editing.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS.

if this isn’t your thing, that’s fine, just scroll on by.

word count: <1k

a/n: this is a bit less than a blurb. a blurb of a blurb. a blurbette, if you will. i shelled it out in like less than an hour. to me it is part of the captive universe, but can be read as a standalone! please be advised that this is not fleshed out at all, i just felt like writing something that didn’t require too much brain power.

He pours one last pail of hot water into the tub.

“How’s the water?” he asks you.

His voice is so deep. Rich, like molasses. 

It’s also laced with a southern accent, you’d noticed.

Aware he’s still waiting for an answer, you shrug.

He tries again. “S’not too hot, is it?”

He had ordered one of the women in the group to start a fire and boil water collected from the stream they had stumbled upon just a mile south of the small cottage.

“Seriously, Joel?” Angela had glared at him. “I am not a fucking maid.” Hands planted on her hips, she foolishly added, “If I’m gonna haul and boil water for a bath, it’s gonna be for me, alright? Not for that little fucking brat of yours.”

His switchblade had gone straight to her throat.

“Fuckin’ say that again,” Joel hissed, the sharp edge of the blade lightly slicing into her flesh. “Call her that one more time and see what fuckin’ happens.”

She apologized and then got to work, completing the task within a couple of hours.

Finally, you answer his question.

“Water’s fine,” you mumble. It’s hot, but not scalding.

“Good.”

Joel kneels beside the tub.

Flinching, you hunch over and pull your legs up against your chest.

It doesn’t matter. He’s already seen you naked.

He’s the one who had undressed you, after all.

Dipping a washcloth into the water, Joel instructs, “Sit up straight, honey.”

Honey.

The pet name makes you feel sick to your stomach.

You’re not his honey. You’re his prisoner.

He frowns, the creases between his brows deepening.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, pretty girl.”

Obediently, you nod and the water sloshes around you as do what he says.

You saw what he was capable of. You’re terrified of him.

With a satisfied hum, he begins washing you.

It had been three days since the massacre. Joel gently scrubs away the crimson caked onto your skin and the color of the water turns to rust. You don’t know whose blood you’ve been wearing—could it be your father’s?

He had been standing in front of you when his life was taken by the very same man that knelt beside you. Had his blood splattered on you? Was it being cleaned off by the same man who had so violently spilled it?

Your stomach lurches at the thought.

He had been trying to protect you during the ambush.

Your father had been trying to fucking protect you.

And Joel Miller had killed him.

He had killed him just to get to you.

Joel runs the washcloth down your arm, his dark gaze dragging over every inch of your body. “Such a pretty, pretty little girl,” he murmurs. Dropping the washcloth into the water, he gently cups one of your breasts in his large hand. He sweeps his thumb over your nipple and lightly teases the pebbled flesh, his digit circling it until it becomes a stiff peak.

Your eyes flutter closed and you inhale sharply.

There’s a strange feeling in your lower belly.

Strange because it’s not entirely unpleasant.

He trails his hand lower, raking over your tummy.

Lower.

Lower.

Lower.

He rests his palm over the mound of your pussy.

Gasping, your thighs clench together.

You’d like to think it’s to keep him out, to keep him from violating you further, but the burning pressure building in between your hips seems to be saying otherwise.

Horrified, you squeeze your thighs even tighter.

No. Don’t let him in.

But what if your resistance led him to force his way in?

You shudder, unable to decide which would be worse.

Joel leans forward over the bathtub, pressing his lips to your temple. “Don’t fight it, honey. S’okay that it feels good,” he mumbles against your skin. “It’s s’pposed to feel good when I touch you, baby.”

No, it’s fucking not!

Bowing your head, quietly begin to sob.

He wraps his arms around you. “Don’t cry, babygirl,” he soothes. “Don’t cry. Daddy’s gonna take real good care of you. I promise I’ll always take good care of you.”

His vow makes you cry even harder.

divider credit @saradika 🤍

#tw dubcon #tw dubious consent #tw noncon #tw dark fic #raider!joel #raider!joel miller #dark!joel miller #dark!joel x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x afab!reader #joel miller blurb #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller drabble #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

[jyoongim]

This is more of an idea (feel free to not respond btw)

But what if married reader gets knocked up with Alastors fawn and the husband divorced her once he realizes the baby isn’t his? You can bet your ass that the deer daddy is already trying to ensnare the reader in his grasp lol

Hehehe i have never written a Part 2 so fast !

Part 1

————————————————————————

“Oh my Satan dear! Look at you! Ya look like you’re bout to pop!” Rosie exclaimed when you walked in her shop.

’Pop’ was an understatement.

You were very near the end of your pregnancy and it had not been kind to you.

You never told your husband about the incident with Alastor.

Would he had even believed you?

Alastor was A LOT of things, but the two of you were friends…your husband would think call you insane….

Your eyes widened seeing the very cause of your discomfort.

Alastor.

You wanted to dash out the door, run back home and hide.

The red Overlord turned around, hearing Rosie’s voice, you froze seeing his eyes look you over, you instinctively placed a hand over your stomach when his lips stretched into a smile.

You heard Rosie excuse herself to go get some appetizers but you were too focused to acknowledge her.

You were alone.

With him.

You took a shaky breath as memories from several months ago flashed across your mind, but you shook your head lightly to discard those thoughts.

”My my look at you” he purred approaching until he towered over you, beaming like a Cheshire cat “You really do make a fine mother” his large hand caressed the swell of your belly, smile softening when he felt movement.

”j-just leave me be please” you whispered, wincing when he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

Alastor chuckled ”leave you be? Oh ma cherie no can do!” 

He bent his head, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, voice dropping to a whisper “especially since you’re about to give birth to my baby?”

You pushed him away, putting distance between the two of you. Your face was flushed, eyes narrowed “I am NOT having your baby! I am having my husband’s baby!” You defended.

But there was a sliver of doubt you always felt when it came to the little soul nestled within you.

Alastor’s smile never wavered “Hmm you sure? Because i remember vividly filling your cunt with my seed until it dripped down your legs” 

You froze.

”You took me so well I was positive you would be pregnant”

He took small steps towards you

”Did you tell your husband?” 

Your snarl fell at his words and he knew he had you.

”T-there’s n-nothing to tell” you said turning around, ready to leave. 

You didnt have to take this.

He hummed coming up behind you. “Nothing to tell?” He chuckled darkly as his lanky arms wrapped around you, cradling your swollen belly. He leaned his head on top of yours.

”Oooh darlin I’m hurt! You didnt tell your loving husband how you milked my cock? How I tasted the cunt that belonged to him? How I claimed you for myself? That I sent you home filled with my cum?”

You were shaking.

”How unfaithful you were? Could the poor man tell another man’s cum was inside you while he fucked you?”

He kissed your neck

”I can’t wait to meet our little fawn”

Your baby kicked causing him to smile.

————————————————————————-

Pain.

Thats all you felt as you tried to breath through your contraction.

”You got this honey! You’re doing great” your husband soothed as you wailed.

”One more push maam the baby’s almost here” the nurse reassured you.

Almost? It felt like you been pushing forever

”I cant” you panted.

Everything burned.

Your husband dabbed at your sweaty forehead, pressing a kiss to it “You got this baby. C’mon just one more push and then it’ll all be over”

Your eyes clenched and with a scream you pushed.

”Aaahh!”

Relief and then the shrill cry of a baby.

The nurses cooed “Ooh a healthy boy!”

she cleaned up the baby and you sighed as you slumped against the bed.

Finally.

”Ok mama” you felt a small weight on your chest.

Soft noises had you look down and you felt your heart break and bloom.

Red tufts of hair curled on the babe’s head and he looked at you with big red eyes.

He looked like you; round cheeks and a cute nose.

He looked nothing like your husband.

And every bit like…

”what the fuck” you heard your husband say. You turned to him, eyes wide.

He was staring at the baby.

”I-Its n-not what you think dear j-just let me-”

”You fucked Alastor” he was frowning, standing up from the bed.

You shook your head, tears swelling

”N-no that’s…I didnt i swear”

”I am looking at his exact copy. The damn brat looks nothing like me!”

You couldnt move “Honey p-please”

The man backed away. He was angry.

The baby began to cry, you tried to rock the poor soul, but your attention was on your husband

”Honey-”

”I should have known” he hissed lowly, pacing.

”I should have known by the way he acted. How you flirted with each other! The fucking radio demon!? Tsk!”

He turned to look at you.

”I dont want some bitch who takes me for a fool. Hope it was worth it you fucking slut” he turned to walk out.

tears ran down your face, your heart was racing “W-What? Honey no it wasn’t like that..it-it was never-”

”I want a divorce. You are dead to me”

and like that he was gone.

You sat there stunned.

Your husband just…left.

He left you and he didn’t even let you explain, tell him how or why all this was happening.

The baby cooed and you looked down at him.

You wanted to be angry, you had every right to be, but looking at this sweet soul…he didnt deserve your anger.

You were a mother now. You would do your best to love your child.

Even if you had to do it alone.

————————————————————————————-

“What a fine mother you make indeed my dear”

He smiled watching the little fawn latch to your chest and stare back at him with vermillion eyes.

You hissed at him, earning a quirked brow “haven’t you done enough?”

Soft static buzzed through the air as the Overlord approached you. You took a step back, as he extended a hand to the babe and rubbed his chubby cheek.

Alastor ignored your question ”How are you feeling love?” He asked as the baby nuzzled into your neck.

How were you feeling?

You were divorced, a single mother, and living with Rosie.

Shunned.

All because of him.

”Like hell but I know you’re not here to ask about my well being”

Alastor ignored your jab.

”I do care for you darlin and its only right that I provide for you and our fawn”

You went to growl, threaten him to die, but your baby reached out to the red demon.

Alastor’s face light up and he grabbed the fawn, cooing and tickling the baby.

Your son squealed and giggled, trying to grab at his claws.

”Let’s make a deal dearest”

You straightened at his words. A deal with Alastor was dangerous.

But you were at rock bottom.

”What kind of deal?” You asked cautiously.

”Marry me. Marry me and you’ll have nothing to be worried about. You’ll be protected, cared for, and have anything you desire.”

The baby was gumming at his collar.

”Be mine”

You bit your lip. What did you have to loose?

You sighed, taking your son.

You looked at the tall demon, green magic swirling around him.

”Do we have a deal?” he extend his hand.

You looked at your baby and then back at Alastor.

”I hate you” you said taking his hand,

You winced as your hand burned and watched a gold ring appear on your finger.

Radio static buzzed and then a soft humming. Alastor purred, smiling, fixing his jacket.

“Oh my dear” His arm looped around your waist, bringing you close to him as he chuckled “Such a good girl”

“Now! I think I have the perfect place for us to raise our fawn”

—————————————————————————————

“Uggghh Al you got a little something…” Charlie said nervously as she watch Alastor sip his coffee.

The little red fawn was hanging on his antlers, happily gnawing at the appendages. Alastor looked up, smiling “Oh he’s fine”

”Alastor have you seen…” your voice floated into his ears as you entered the lobby, stopping when you saw your son among his father’s antlers.

Alastor let out a grunt as the baby pulled at his ears “Hes right here dear”

Your baby babbled as you approached, squealing when you plucked him from his father.

You scowled the Overlord, placing the baby on your hip.

”How many times have I told you not to just let him hang-”

”da-”

You froze.

“Da…da” your son babbled, squirming in your arms.

Charlie cooed and Alastor smirked as the fawn’s eyes welled with tears as he reached for his father. Alastor walked towards you, scooping the baby from you.

You pouted as the baby happily chirped, nuzzling in his father’s neck.

Alastor sneaked a soft kiss to your lips 

“See he’s fine”

You sighed, rolling your eyes, arms crossing.

”Oh smile my dear. Maybe the next one will say mama first” he laughed, eyes settling on your round belly.

”After all you’re a great mother”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x reader #jyoongim #alastor the radio demon #alastor x y/n #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor smut

[moxfirefly]

Bayverse Donnie with F!Reader (she/her)

"You think I like being like this? Every time someone fucking touches you I want to rip their hands off!"

"I...I don't want to stop. Please don't ask me to stop."

Happy holidays 💙❤️💜🧡

Oh boy yes!!! This is a great one! Let’s get it, goes without sayin’.

Rated Explicit

He hated what his overworked brain could cook up some nights, the tension that settled in his muscles whenever that nagging little monster in his head told that ‘he didn’t deserve this’.

Because Donnie’s always been a little too in tune with what he is, what he looks like.

Compared to you? You who somehow found your way in under the safety fence around his heart. You who somehow wanted to be with him and settle.

It was settling, he knew that sooner rather than later you’d wake up from your fugue state and realize this isn’t a life worth living for with him. What could he provide? Not all the typical things a partner should, he couldn’t walk out and take somewhere, he couldn’t meet your friends, he can’t marry you…

He hates how everyone gets to touch you out in the open, out in your normal life away from the violence and the secrecy.

Donnie swallows a lump in his throat when he sees Casey pull you into a hug, the free affection he could supply not just down here but up above in your real world with your real life. It’s not even about Vern and how he grabs your hand after a high five and laughs. He hates to admit that he’s thought about every other set of normal hands that have touched you throughout your day, every perfect palm that could connect perfectly with yours, each of their five fingers running a path across your body.

God, he hates how much you’ve been touched by perfectly normal beings.

There’s that little monster again inside of him, calling him a freak, a monster, you’re ruining her life, Donnie, what makes you think she’s going to stay? Why would she want your imperfect, disgusting—

“Hey? Are you alright?” You ask him, arms draped around his neck from the back of the couch, a set of beautiful arms he’d want to be his noose any day.

“Y-yeah, just a little tired.” Lie, he was gonna stay up until the migraine took over or the exhausting did him in first.

“Then let’s sneak are way back to your room and lie down.” You kissed his cheek, nudging him by the shell to get up. Everyone was still mingling about so it was easy to slip away.

He entered his room that he shared many nights with you, it was hard to fathom it was only his now. Every little corner held something of yours and on nights you couldn’t stay over he found comfort in your lingering scent.

“You aren’t alright are you?” He caught your voice muffled from the shirt you were taking off, showing off skin he could pick out from a hundred yards away. How acquainted he was with each blemish, freckle, scar…

“Is there anything from your ex boyfriend that you preferred? …liked I mean, or that he has that I don’t?” This is a Pandora’s box and from the way your eyebrows shoot up he knows it’s a bad idea but Christ he’s floundering.

“Absolutely nothing, why are you bringing him up?” You tossed your shirt aside, kicking off your shoes next and progressively becoming more aware that Donnie was holding back a giant wave of something not good right now.

“I’m just trying to make sense of something… I know why you both broke up but you were with him, there was an appeal at some point.” He wants to look away, drop the conversation but his hands feel tense and his skin itchy.

“There was an appeal before I found out who the real him was, appeal went away pretty fast if you ask me, baby why are you—“

“What’s the appeal here?” He motioned to himself, to his form, his face, his everything. “Because I can’t see it for myself, I don’t know why you’re here…with me.” His voice felt lumpy, crackling like a detuned radio.

You stood stock still, shocked at his words.

“What’s bringing this on? I haven’t spoken to that asshole in years, Don. What appeal? He has none, I’m with you.” You took a step, he took one backwards.

“You’re going to want things I cannot give you even if I would sell my soul for them. I—I can’t give you kids, or a normal home, or marriage, for fuck sake look at me, where does this make sense??” He sat down aggressively on the bed, he needed to concentrate on something else than your worried face. With shakey hands he began to untie his boots.

He saw your feet first, through the thin film of tears, god he didn’t want to cry now.

Gently you took his glasses off and set them on the night table.

“What’s going on? Tell me the truth, why are you acting like this? Why are you bringing my ex up all of a sudden to fight—” The deep concern, the frown lines on your forehead, he had you so damn worried.

“You think I like being like this? Every time someone fucking touches you I want to rip their hands off!” He didn’t mean to blow up but this hand bubbles, seeped over the mug and now there was no stopping it.

“I’m never going to understand why you would rather waste your life away with a monst—“ he felt your hands shoot up and cover his mouth.

“You are not a monster, Donatello, and if you ever use that stupid word to describe yourself ever again, I’m throwing a wrench at your head.” You let your hand slip away, instead you cupped his face. “I’m with you because I love you, you were my friend first and now you’re the most important thing in my life, and none of this is going to stop my feelings.” You rubbed your thumbs affectionately around his cheeks. Donnie’s gaze fell, eyes still red from holding back tears. He pressed his face against your sternum, and once you felt those large armed enclose around you, you hugged him tight.

“I—I’m sorry, I—fuck,” He sighed against your skin, finding comfort in your flesh as he often did.

“It alright, just please don’t ever question how I feel, okay?” You kissed the top of his head, letting yourself be pushed closer to him, he needed this, needed the physical reassurance. “I love you, Donnie, I love you so much.” You carresed him, cheek against the top of his head. Donnie’s hands found the back pockets of your jeans, hooked his fingers in and began to shove them down.

He needed more, he needed you and you knew it.

“I…I don’t want to stop. Please don’t ask me to stop.” He kissed each words onto your stomach, bit the periods onto your flesh and he dragged your underwear down as well. Effortlessly he picked you up and placed you on the bed with another feverish kiss that sent your head spinning. He bit more of those pleads onto your neck, grinding himself between your legs with intent of having your scent on his clothes forever.

It was messy, desperate and filled with longing. You somehow pushed down his pants with the heels of your feet and told him, gently and with need that you wanted him inside of you.

And he could never say no to you, he could never deny you a single thing.

So when he slipped in to the heat that he belonged to, to the woman that could drive him to burn the world at a moments time, he could feel a little less self hatred.

Your moan, long and aching, always a task to adjust to his size but never an unwelcome burn, blessed his ears. He needed this, he needed you inking those words and sounds with each thrust.

Donnie watched transfixed, enamored with your flushed skin and hooded eyes. Watched as your hands reached for him when he sat back on his knees. He hooked an arm beneath you and held you against him as he thrusted upwards with every intent of fucking these awful thoughts out.

“Fucking—Love you,” Donnie’s lips pressed against your own, the intimacy of spilling his love against your own lips too much for him. You moaned against his mouth, moving in tune with him to chase the high. ‘I love you’ you mouthed as you felt your voice be replaced with another lustful moan. Donnie half smiled, drunk off of your scent and deep into how perfect you felt wrapped around his cock. He held you like that, arms secure around you as he fucked the first load into you just as you came with a tightening and broken wail.

When you felt your back against the blankets and felt him continue to thrust, pushing past the oversensitivity, you knew he needed more.

He needed so much more.

#tmnt bayverse #ask #phd-in-fuckery #emotional? prompts #tmnt donatello x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #donatello x reader #donnie x reader #Donatello #Donnie #tmnt Donatello #tmnt Donnie

[neteyamswifee]

ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ; ᴀᴏ‘ɴᴜɴɢ xᴏᴍᴀᴛɪᴋᴀʏᴀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Summary: You and Ao‘nung are on your way to collect special fruits for an Assembly of the Mitkayina Clan, but things are getting weird and… hot?

Warnings; Fluff, Kissing, sexual …talk? Enemies to Lovers, mentions of death (hate that) lol thats it enjoy

_________________________________________

"Aonung wait." I hissed, kicking some leaves out of the way. Below me the wet grass between my toes. We must have been walking for almost an hour now and the bag in which I was collecting the fruit for the Metkayina assembly almost overflowed. "What's the matter? Can't you keep up?" Ao'nung taunts and swings over a tree trunk closely followed by me, who somehow struggles over it. 

I was sure we'd had enough and all this fuss was just to annoy me. After all, I was allowed to carry the heavy bag, although he always talked about how strong he was. Idiot. With ease he pushed some branches to the side which then almost killed me. I was angry and I wanted to push him off a cliff. After I had overcome the last dangers that Ao'nung had exposed me to, we entered a sandy beach. Almost a bay I would say. The waves hit the rocks and far behind I recognized the spot where our ilus were waiting for us.

"You're kidding me, aren't you? We could have just come here straight away, then we would have saved ourselves the difficult journey." I snapped spitefully. Me and Ao'nung have always had our...differences. In the beginning he was really likeable to me, until he became an absolute ass. After Neteyam's death he dropped this whole macho scam and I was free from him insulting me everyday but I'm still being screwed 24/7 until I can't anymore. Fine, from time to time I'll take revenge and sometimes it's even funny. Still, I can hardly judge Ao'nung at all.

"Don't get so upset, the way is the goal." he laughs and sets off into the bushes to pick whatever I'm allowed to carry anyway in the end. Rolling my eyes, I put the bag down and stretch. A moment later, Ao'nung comes back out of the bushes. He walks over to me at the end of the beach and holds out a pink prickly fruit. I look at them both skeptically and raise an eyebrow.

"Thanks, but I'm poisoning myself." I decline with a grin. But Ao'nung doesn't let go of me, pulls out his knife, cuts off a piece and puts it in his mouth. "Something of poisoned." he whispers, dramatically holding his stomach. I suppress my laughter and just roll my eyes. Again he cuts off a piece and puts it in front of my mouth. "here." I try to reach for it but he pulls his hand away. "I thought you wanted me to try?" I ask. "Yes-but not that you hurt yourself." Only now do I recognize the barbs on the shell. However, he doesn't seem to mind. "bite off."

Somehow I don't really feel comfortable with it, but I bit it off and felt his cold fingers. Juice dripped from my chin, which Ao'nung brushed away with a gentle movement, and then licks his finger. I freeze, barely able to breathe. I was beyond confused, and somehow, …suprised."

" swallow." he breathes softly and raises his eyebrows. My head is a red room full of panic signs that glow brighter than neon lights. "wa-what" I bring out with my mouth full. "I said swallow." I get goosebumps. At no point did I think that Ao'nung's words could provoke a reaction of this kind, but I press my legs together and swallow the sweet fruit. Ao'nung eyes wander up and down my body, knowing what that just was. Funny, I would also like to know that. I swallow again.

"Do not look at me like that." I command him. "How am I looking at you?" smiling, he takes a step towards me, his eyes look deep into mine. "N- well the way you're looking at me. Stop that." "I can not." he blurts out.

Fuck. I think to myself, undecided whether I should just kiss him or run away. Then being confused because of my own thoughts. Ao'nung was all flirtation... just not usually with me. "You know, then just turn around or-" I keep getting quiet until my air to breathe is replaced by Ao'nung's lips. While I still hold my hands in the air in surprise, Ao'nung throws away the knife in his hand and grabs my waist. I reflexively wrap my hands around his neck.

The moment he lays me down on the sand, I forget all my principles and pull him down to me. I feel the cold sand beneath me, Ao'nung hands in my hair. I pull away from him, breathing heavily.

He just grins, with those cute dimples and his perfect eyes. "okay that was… quick." I gasp, trying to cover my nervousness with a laugh that only makes it more obvious. "fast?" he asks, looking at the air thinking. "Well, this is the first time you've let me get closer than a foot without hitting me, you're actually pretty slow today." embarrassed, I put my hand in front of my face. His confident flirting makes me more than nervous. "Don't talk such nonsense, there were at least a two." He licks his lips and presses another kiss on my lips. "You could hit me right now and I'd still want you, not gonna lie."I clench my teeth tightly and still roll my eyes in shock at what just happened.

———————————-

Send in what you want me to write:)

#avatar smut #avatar kiri #avatar neteyam #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar jake #avatar ao‘nung #Jake sully #neytiri #aonung x reader #aonung #tuktirey #way of water #Lol idk im just trying to safe you needy people from getting no Avatar smut

[kasagia]

Bruises and scars

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! tidemaker! reader Summary: Kaz Brekker believed he was too broken and bruised to ever count on you reciprocating his childish crush. You were a powerful Grisha, someone who wouldn't be content to be in a relationship with the human shell that he was. That's why he gives you the cold shoulder, that's why he avoids you like the water you wield so well, that's why he tried to drive you away after the day you confessed your feelings to him. Kaz Brekker couldn't love anyone. It would not be beneficial to either side. But Kaz Rietveld rises from the dead, reminding him of what it's like to feel unconditional, blind love. And he won't give up. Not until he gets his girl back... isn't it too late for that, though? Warning(s): Kaz and his trauma; violence; he's afraid of his feelings but loves the reader; generally Kazzle misses the reader; angst with fluff; I'm a sucker for happy endings, but the boy suffered WITHOUT HIS INVESTMENT; mentions of de@th and bl00d Word count: 7,4k

Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me

"You're sending Jesper to do your dirty work for you? I didn't know you were afraid to talk to one of your own crows." you stormed into his office without even bothering to knock. Kaz swallowed. He really should have been better prepared for this conversation. After all, he knew you wouldn't give up so easily. "What is this?" you asked, slamming the wad of paper onto his desk.

"I thought you could read. This is your next job." he replied calmly, not looking up from the papers in his hand.

"In some snobbish fucking king's palace? Are you kidding me?"

"Nikolai isn't that bad. You'll see when you get there."

"And what makes you think that I will voluntarily leave Ketterdam, the club, my friends, and the Crows for two bloody years, Kaz?" for the first time since you walked into his office, he looked up from his papers, fixing you with a cool, impassive gaze.

"That I'm your boss, and you have to obey me. You needed a reminder, judging by the tone of voice you use when you speak to me."

"Was it because of what I said to you when I almost..."

"No!" he growled at you, stopping you from finishing your sentence. That day had already joined his nightmares anyway. He didn't have to constantly recall your almost-death. "It has nothing to do with it." he said, hoping that would put an end to your conversation and went back to writing down the numbers.

"Do not lie to me. I know when you do it, Kaz. You got scared because I said I love…"

"You can go and get ready, Y/N." he said without looking up from the paper he was holding. He had never felt her gaze so hot and intense on him before. They always glanced furtively at each other, discreetly indulging in the silly fantasy of loving each other.

Like they could ever afford to live a normal life. As if he could ever love you properly—the way you deserved.

You stared at him intently, trying to find any trace of emotion in him, any evidence that he didn't really want to send you away from Ketterdam, that he was only doing it because Dirtyhands was afraid of the growing feeling between you two.

"I can hold on like this, Kaz." your soft whisper cut through him, making him shiver. He could bear your screams, your anger, your madness, but the tenderness, the vulnerability you showed only around him… was much more dangerous to the cold Barrel Bastard. "I can go and return to you like nothing happened. I can stay near you and pretend I don't feel anything towards you. I can stop myself from wishing for your slightest touch. I can hide my true emotions around you and other people, just like I have done before… but please just prove to me that it's all worth it. That you can slowly take off pieces of your armour and let me see and be with the real you. Not the Brekker's mask you wore every time we were on Ketterdam's street. Not the Dirtyhands' cruel version of yourself that you created to survive in this town. Not the Bastard from the Barrel, who has so much power in his hands to take down his every enemy. Just the real you, Kaz. The genius-mind boss who cares about his people, not only the kruge. The man who loves his friends more than anything on this earth. The man who risked his own life and saved me from death's arms more times than I could count. Please… just give me this little piece of hope." he tried hard not to raise his gaze to meet your captivating, imploring irises that could touch Brekker's heart.

He knew that the moment he looked at your face, he would doom you both by giving in to this burning desire to be with you.

But he couldn't.

He had to keep you away from him.

"You must be foolish or delusional to think like that. I'm the Bastard from the Barrel. And I care about my crows, because they are good investments. Nothing more and nothing less, Y/L/N."

"Is this everything that we are? What am I to you? An investment?"

Kaz's mouth went dry as he felt the waters rising around him, when a familiar feeling of panic began to seep through his practised mask. He looked away, not wanting you to read his true emotions. Not wanting you to see how much he wanted to confess his true feelings to you.

No. You're my moon, my sun that illuminates me in my darkness. The reason why I'm even bothering to learn how to touch people without going under the water again. You give me hope and peace every time you're close to me. You're my greatest power and weakness. The only one in this bloody world who can change my plans. The only one I care about in the mornings, afternoons, nights, and midnights. I can't drink, eat, think, sleep, or work without thinking about you. You have the power over me. And that's terrified me.

He desperately wanted to give in to his desire.

But he couldn't.

He was too bruised and broken for you.

"Then I have my answer, Mr. Brekker." you broke the long, tense silence between you two. Kaz was too terrified to shift his gaze from the papers on his desk to the only woman who could easily crack the wall around his cold, almost dead heart with one of your smiles towards him. Too afraid to watch the tender expression on your face turn into a cold detachment, just like your tone of voice. "Sorry for taking up your precious time, boss. But I would rather be the foolish girl who falls in love too easily for her own good than a powerful man who doesn't want to feel anything. Nobody will sit around the table and tell a story about a man who loves only his kruge. No matter how great he was." your disappointed whisper lingered in his office long after you left.

He sat dazed in his chair until the candle stub burned out completely, leaving him alone in the darkness of his office. He stood up, lit a new candle, and watched the flame. He couldn't focus on anything other than replaying your conversation.

Rietveld's voice echoed in Brekker's head, somehow getting through his wall, mocking powerful Dirtyhands.

Coward.

And every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me

"No way!" Jesper's loudspeaker scream snapped Kaz out of his thoughts. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, and got up from the desk.

He has done nothing since that fateful conversation. Absolutely nothing. He limited himself to staring blankly at the wall as his thoughts of Y/N effectively took complete control of him. He needed a distraction. Jesper's screams outside his office were perfect.

Without his cane, he walked to the door, eavesdropping on what was going on outside his office.

"Find another idiot to tell him. Or better yet, grab some suicide guy from the roof. If he wants to die anyway, he might as well act as a messenger for their one last time before Kaz rips their head off. SHIT!" the sharpshooter screamed in panic, nearly losing his balance as the door he was partially leaning against was opened by his rather worried boss. "Kaz, the fuck, since when are you sneaking around like that?!"

"Why exactly would I want to have ripped someone's heads off, Jesper?" he ignored his comment, eager to find out what they were hiding from him as soon as possible.

Maybe that would effectively occupy his head, so he could stop thinking about the tidemaker for a while. Unfortunately, neither of the two were in a hurry to answer his question.

"You know, there's always an occasion. Theft, insult, threat, frown, bad day, wedding, christening…" Jesper shut up, seeing that his attempts at a joke only infuriated an already irritated Kaz.

"Y/N is gone." Kaz unconsciously held his breath, feeling the whole world freeze around him for a moment, until anger and panic took hold of him.

"What? Did someone kidnap her? How did you look after her?!" he growled furiously, walking back to the office and limping towards his cane. His crows followed hesitantly, watching him struggle as he tried to put on his cloak in his haste.

"She runaway. I lost track of her around the harbour." a new revelation made Kaz freeze again. He stared blankly into the space between Jesper and Inej, turning his cane's crow head in his hand.

He should have anticipated that too. Had a backup plan. But he didn't. He's been acting strangely lately. He didn't recognize himself. But after all, that was what he had wanted all along - to stay away from Y/N. So why had her disappearance made him feel so much worse?

"Kaz? Should we send some people to…"

"No need, Inej. Go back to work. You too, Jesper." the gambler looked like he wanted to argue with him, but the Wraith, seeing their friend's strange behavior, grabbed his hand, and they obediently walked away from their boss.

Kaz leaned against the desk, dullly staring at the closed door.

It was supposed to be better that way. Neither you nor he will ever meet again. You won't exchange those longing glances again. You won't act like a couple of teenagers in love, and no one will ever attack or harm you to get to him again or to threaten him. Nobody was going to get hurt.

So why did he feel like he was going back under the water?

I’ve been holding on to hope That you’ll come back when you can find some peace Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken since you left feels like an hollow street

One week, two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 29 seconds. That's how long it's been since he last saw your face.

He was secretly hoping you'd come back to him and the crows. Fuck the crows, he just wanted you to walk through that damned door again and start arguing with him, shouting at him, cursing his name at all the saints you knew, so he could hear your voice again.

He missed you. More than he thought he would.

Irritatingly, everything around him reminded him of you.

Especially your empty seat during Crow's meetings. No one dared to occupy it, as if every one of the gathered was waiting for you to come through that door (or window) again with a malicious, characteristic smirk on your face, mumbling some insincere apology for being late.

It never happened. Though Inej prayed to her saints every day for your return. Just like the others. Although each of them experienced your departure differently. Jes stared often at the places you once occupied, imagining you were still there. Nina found herself often making too many waffles (of course, accidentally making exactly the few you were used to eating). Wylan often creates his bombs and other things in your favourite colours.

But Kaz probably took your absence the worst of them all.

If he had slept little before, fearing that nightmares about Jordie would haunt him, now he hardly slept at all. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face. He heard your laugh. He smelled your perfume. He felt cursed. Cursed by you the moment your eyes looked at him full of sadness, anger, and disappointment... full of pain.

He thought that if you disappeared from his sight, he would forget about you and go back to normal. But your leaving only made him think of you more often and longer. He sat behind his desk for hours, staring blankly at the papers in front of him. Spread out plans, bills, and maps; it all stopped making sense to him. It stopped coming together, creating a perfect plan in his head.

All he could think about was you.

And Rietveld's voice, instead of being silenced and buried alive in his cold heart with your disappearance, only broke through his hard surface more and more often with the passing days without you by his side. And he wasn't holding back from taunting Dirtyhands at all.

The great Kaz Brekker fell victim to one of his own plans.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Even Ketterdam has felt your absence.

This time of year, it usually warms up enough for people to shed their heavy winter coats. However, it was the middle of spring, and a cool, icy wind still blew through the streets, bringing occasional, small snowfalls that melted on the street, creating mud.

Kaz had never despised the city he lived in more. Even it laughed in his face at his stupidity, reminding him that it was his fault that the only spark of joy and bewitchingness in this damned city had gone.

He shuddered as a child shoved past him, running happily to the ship that had come into harbour and thrown itself into its father's waiting arms. Brekker began to take rapid, panicked breaths. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of one of the buildings, trying to imagine something other than Jordie.

His haphephobia got worse.

Earlier, he could bear the fleeting touch of strangers, such as being brushed up against him in a crowd. It was no problem for him to touch his crows for a few minutes (especially you and your comfortable hugs, holding your hand, or just feeling your warm skin under his bare fingertips).

But now even the slightest contact with a stranger brought him immediately under the water. And the tiny touch from his crows raised the waves he had to calm in the privacy of his office.

He was rolling down. He knew it well. But he saw it as his personal punishment for hurting your feelings in a brutal way instead of gently cutting you off. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much.

Kaz knew he was fooling himself. He would suffer anyway. He let you go too deep under his skin, penetrate his essence, and know his soul too well to just give up on you, and forget about you.

And what terrified him most was that, given the choice, he would let you in again. Even knowing he would be devastated after letting you go.

But it was better for you. You deserved something better than this life you would live with him.

And that one thought kept him sane. That he did it for your own good, that wherever you are now, he's sure you're better off than you were in Ketterdam.

Which didn't stop him from checking every ship that came into port in the sick hope of seeing your angelic face.

He just had to get over his grief. He did the same with Jordie.

The only difference was that he didn't dream of holding his brother back in his arms like he dreamed of you.

Maybe I, maybe I’m just being blinded By the brighter side Of what we had because it’s over Well there must be something in the tide

Kaz was on your bed, reading one of your books you accidentally left behind. It was all he could do lately. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd left that room for anything other than food and a change of clothes. He missed you. And he had no idea what he should do.

He inhaled your faint scent on the pillows.

In some strange way (probably because of your ability to control the water), you always smelled of the sea, even when you weren't near the harbour. Kaz hated water and hated the salty sea smell that hit him whenever he passed near the harbour. It reminded him of Jordie. But inexplicably, the smell of the sea on you brought him comfort, safety... peace.

Now it was a reminder of something else—how he let you slip through his fingers. In fact, he pushed you away from himself.

He shook his head, trying not to think about you. However, the world was always against him and never made things easy for him. The fact that the dried flower had fallen out of the book onto his chest was proof of that.

With trembling hands, he set the book aside and reached for the flower, afraid he would ruin it. However, the need to see if his eyes were deceiving him was greater than the fear of spoiling such a precious thing.

He remembered that flower. He put it in your hair himself.

"Just the two of us in a field of flowers? If I didn't know you better, I'd think it was a date, boss." he rolled his eyes as you giggled at his reaction.

"Stop it. Or they'll notice us." he muttered, trying to ignore the cool wind that somehow made its way through the high grass. He wrapped his cloak around him, enviously noting that the girl next to him didn't seem to feel that cold. He internally slapped himself for wanting to share his cloak with her.

"I highly doubt they'd want to look for us in that thicket of grass. Besides, usually when a woman is giggling at a place and situation like this, stealing some noblewoman's jewels is the last thing on her mind, Kaz. The same applies to her potential partner."

"As if I heard Jesper." he sighed, focusing on the nobles in front of them. The plan was for Jesper to distract them while he and Y/N collected what they had come for. Simple and fast, if his childish desire to be paired with Y/N did not overwhelm his senses. She distracted him more than he could afford.

"You and Jes also had a secret meeting among the wildflowers? Now, I'm jealous."

"Jes?" he asked, turning his surprised gaze on her.

"Yes, do you mind?"

"You've known him for a week." he remarked dryly.

"Yes, and what?"

"It took you two months to start calling me by my first name, let alone a nickname."

"Just because you preferred to call me tidemaker instead of using my name."

"To be honest, it might have slipped my mind then." he muttered under his breath, not realising she heard him.

"You forgot my fucking name?! Kaz Brekker you are the most ignorant person I've ever seen." Kaz knew from the anger in her eyes that only his haphephobia kept him from getting his ass kicked by Y/N.

"Well, now I remember." he tried to defend himself.

"I don't care, Brekker. Now you can even call me the fucking Easter Bunny and I won't answer you anyway."

"Don't be a child, Y/N. Y/N?" Kaz sighed in frustration when he got no response from you.

He had to come up with something; he knew this name thing wouldn't be resolved until he appeased you properly. And he didn't have time to indulge in your sulks. You had to rob these people. (It's not like his heart ached when you were mad at him.)

Fortunately, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that might help him. Your favourite flower, growing at his fingertips. He plucked a plant and put it behind your ear without thinking. You flinched at the sudden touch, staring at him in shock as the material of his gloves brushed your cheek as he pulled his hand away.

"Maybe I forgot your name then, but now I remember and know a lot more about you than just a stupid name."

"But how… how do you know I like y/f/f?" you asked in shock, never in your wildest dreams imagining that Kaz Brekker would bother with something like your favorite flower.

"You are my tidemaker. My most important investment. It's logical that I'll know you inside out."

"Should I be afraid or appreciate this unsettling but sweet effort?"

"You should know by now that nothing I do is sweet."

"Of course, big, terrible, Dirtyhands." you replied with a small smirk, similar to the one that kept Kaz from your sight.

To her, he could be more than Kaz Brekker. He could be Kaz Rietveld. And it terrified him more than the urge to reach out his hand again and fix her windblown hair.

The mastermind has been deceived by his own heart.

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my Lord, oh my Lord, I need you by my side

"Zenik. Follow me." he muttered as he finally found the woman at the bar. He headed for his office without looking back, knowing full well that she would do as she was told this time.

"Yes, Kaz?"

"You are contacting Y/N." it wasn't a question. He knew it the moment Nina sent you her first letter a month ago.

He himself tried to send you his letter a week ago. It came back unopened, and the delivery man said no such person lives at this address. A lie he recognised without even knowing that Nina and you were still writing to each other.

"I am." she replied coolly. Kaz, seeing that he did not want to voluntarily cooperate, sighed and sat down in his chair. His leg was starting to hurt more and more often - another thing that went bad with you leaving.

"How is she?"

"Happy. Relatively. She is tormented by nightmares and unwanted thoughts about you." if Nina wanted to make him feel guilty, she did it brilliantly.

He already felt terrible without her judging eyes and dry answers. She must have seen the shadows under his eyes, as he did in his mirror. He had no right to pity himself. He knew it well. That's why he put up with Nina's attitude, in his stupid desire to know how you were doing.

"So… is she better off than here?"

"No. But that's not your problem anymore."

"Did she find someone?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of an affirmative answer.

"Possibly, things are evolving."

Kaz felt the world stop around him for a moment. The idea of someone else watching how you play with water and create ice sculptures, someone listening to your beautiful voice and making you laugh, someone capable of holding you and kissing you, made him sick. A sick sense of jealousy that Kaz only experienced when he saw the wealth of others.

A rash desire to come for you overtook him. He had to have you back. Before you fall in love with someone other than him.

"Do you think if we…"

"No, Kaz." Nina cut him off before he could ask a question. "You wanted to get rid of her, so hold on to your fucking decision. You hurt her, and you knew damn well you would, by ordering her to return to Ravka. Honestly, Kaz, did you think about how it would impact her? How she would feel? If you wanna break her heart again, go on. Chase her. Let's see if she forgives you also this time."

"Then what should I do?" he asked, and the desperation and hopelessness of his tone terrified both him and the woman standing in front of his desk. Nobody had ever seen him like this. Even you. And now he was ready to open up to anyone just to have you by his side again.

"Forget about her. After all, that's what you wanted, right?" he did not answer.

She was right. He wanted to get rid of you. Now he was paying the price, and he had no right to ask you to ease his pain and return to the Kettedram. Return to him. Which doesn't mean that his stupid heart will just let him forget about you. He's learned that over the months without you. And he cursed all the saints that he didn't know it until he gave you the cold shoulder.

Kaz no longer had the right to your affection. He had to accept it. He had to accept that he had given up his chance to love you. That now you had every right to go and love someone else. Even if the very idea drove him crazy and desperate.

He must have forgotten about you. For the sake of all of you.

But Nina's slamming of his office door only brought him back to his memories of you.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Kaz fell. He was in the most pathetic position.

He didn't care, though, as he sat like a fool on the shore of the same lake where he met you. At which he irreversibly gave you the remnants of his heart a few years ago, without even knowing it.

He told himself that Nina was right. Once he let you go, he had to persevere in that resolve. Ketterdam will only bring you pain... so why was it so hard for him to let go of his last ties to you?

"Why are you coming here with me?" your gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he stared spellbound at your little water show.

"Am I bothering you?" he asked, shifting in his place on the dock as he watched you float in the lake.

He wouldn't even dip his little toe in himself, but he liked to silently watch you become one with what was dear to you. And by the way, he could admire your skills and beauty as much as he wanted. He didn't have to look for any particular excuse.

"No. It's just that I've never seen you watch your other crows train."

"They're not like you." it slipped out before he could think about it. "If anyone sees you, I better get them before they announce to the world that one of the Black General's tidemakers has taken refuge with me." your smirk dropped at the mere mention of your former life. Kaz cursed in his mind. "You are also too valuable an investment. And the rest of the crows liked you. It's a big achievement. Inej doesn't let new people in so easily... me too."

"So you like me after all, boss?" you asked with that mischievous smirk on your lips that made his heart beat like crazy. Good thing water was your specialty. At least you didn't hear his heart pounding.

"You're tolerable company, and what you can do… what you can do is amazing."

"It's just little tricks." you murmured, forming different shapes out of the water. "At the king's parties, I was quite often one of the highlights." you waved your hand, freezing the water to form an ice statue. His statue. "Not every tidemaker is strong enough to freeze water." with another wave of your hand, to his silent displeasure, you melted the ice. "Not to mention turning ice into water again. Most just stop at its liquid form and don't train any more. I like to think I'm too curious to ever stop exploring my powers."

"Or stubborn." he said with a small smirk, listening to your wonderful laugh.

He must have been cursed from the start, since fate had put someone so perfect in his path... someone he could never have. But he could have been watching you. Enjoy his eyes with your beauty and his ears with the tone of your voice.

"Sometimes that's a good trait too. You taught me that yourself."

"How convenient for you to learn from me only what you want and not what you need."

"Sometimes what we want is more important than what we need and what is more rational for us."

"What for example?"

"Love." he tried to keep a poker face, but apparently his eyes betrayed more than he would have liked, as you gave him a confused, questioning look. "What? You've never been in love?"

NO. Not until he looked into your eyes and heard you laugh. Not until he got into your first argument with you and lost with a smile on his face. Not until he first saw you use your powers to outsmart the bandits who attacked you. Not until he saw how the moonlight in Ketterdam made your eyes shine even more than usual, so that you might as well have lit up all of the city with your beauty. Not until he first heard his name come out of your mouth. No, until he foolishly began to believe in Inej's saints, when he saw how tenderly and kindly you treat the orphans in the streets of Ketterdam.

"This silence means either a very powerful heartbreak, or you really only love a kruge."

"What if I really never loved anyone? What if I don't believe in love?" he whispered, looking up at you. You sneaked up to him so that you were standing in front of him. Water trickled down your hair and along your neck to the hand you held out to him. You opened your hand, handing him a small shell.

"The world is too cruel for such beliefs, Kaz. If we don't believe in love, why should we get out of bed at all? Why do we accumulate all these riches and try to survive each day?" Kaz didn't know the answer. Not one that would allow him to avoid the uncomfortable subject of his feelings for you.

He took the shell from you and, being careful not to break it, put it in his pouch. Along with the other little things you fished out of the water.

Your eyes met. You stared into the other's eyes for a moment, lost in your own dreams, which were not too different from each other... Yet neither of you had the courage to admit them out loud and risk everything you had been so carefully building between yourselves. Even if your hearts burned for more.

So he sat with you in silence, watching you play with the water and analysing what you told him. What was the reason for his existence?

Kaz from a year ago would have answered quickly and without thinking. Revenge. But now that he was looking at you, he wasn't so sure about his answer… or at least it was closer to something much different than his desire for revenge.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It's your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in And I'm tired of being so exhausted

He sat behind his desk, involuntarily reminiscing about the day it all began.

The day he almost lost you. The day you almost died in his arms. The day you told him something he secretly wanted to hear but wasn't prepared for. The day he will curse forever.

This was your first assignment after returning from Ravka and the whole sun summoner thing. A childish, simple burglary. Something to warm up his crows—a return to the reality of Ketterdam without queens and kings and politics.

And so it was. You filled your pockets with valuables and were about to leave when one of the guards spotted you. They were much better armed than you (it was supposed to be a simple robbery with no witnesses and no blood spilled, so you only had daggers and knives "just in case") and strangely familiar with all the secret passages in the small mansion.

Even though you found yourself in a terrible situation, you managed to leave the property. You laid out in the finish as you and Kaz ran towards the club. One of the guards shot at you and hit you. Very accurate, almost piercing your heart with a bullet.

Kaz stared dazedly as you screamed in pain as you clutched your chest and tumbled onto the muddy, cobbled road. He reacted faster than he thought, throwing the dagger at the man who shot you and killing him instantly. Inej would have praised him for such a throw.

But that effective kill didn't matter to him now. He ran over to you in a panic and kneeled beside you, tugging at the fabric of your shirt. He hissed as he saw the blood pouring down your skin.

"Kaz..." you groaned, looking at him terrified. Kaz ripped off a piece of his shirt and wrapped it tightly around your waist, trying to stop the gushing blood. "Cold." you mumbled, shivering in his arms. Brekker didn't even notice as he placed you in his lap; he was too busy to stop the bleeding until he found bloody Zenik. Where was she when he really fucking needed her?

"Shhh…. I know. Just try to hold on a little longer, okay? Nina and Jes will be here soon." he tried to calm you down by running his hand through your sweat-soaked hair. He rocked you back and forth, not knowing who he was trying to reassure—you or himself.

"We both know they won't make it on time."

"If you're wasting your energy talking, at least say something useful instead of talking nonsense, tidemaker." he growled at you, tightening his grip on you. "You're not getting away from me that fast. I didn't invest so much in you to make you leave before…" Until I tell you how much you mean to me... "Until we fill our vault with tonnes of Kruge."

"I could have predicted that even on my deathbed you'd be talking about the fucking Kruges." you laughed, coughing up some blood, which didn't calm his already madly beating heart. Where is that damn Zenik?

"Die in my arms and I promise I'll go back to hell for you. The devil can wait for you - I signed a pact with you first." you suddenly became serious, squeezing his gloved hand tighter and staring into his eyes as if they were the only stars in your dark sky.

"Kaz… I… I have to tell you…"

"Shut up, Y/L/N. You're not dying today." he snarled a warning, squeezing you so hard that he was sure to leave bruises on your arms. Panic rose in him as he felt your body slowly go limp, your breaths becoming less and less frequent.

"Kaz… I love you." you whispered, making him freeze in a daze. You only said those words in his wildest dreams. He had secretly dreamed of it many times, but certainly not like this. Not while your soul was slowly escaping from this cruel world unworthy of you.

He doesn't remember exactly when Nina came running, or how Jesper took you out of his arms, or how he kept up with Jesper's frantic pace as he ran with you in his arms.

But he surely was shaking all the way to the Crow Club. He only breathed a few hours after Nina announced to everyone that you would live. Then he left, without even entering your room to make sure Zenik's words were true, and locked himself in his office.

Tears began to fall from his eyes as he leaned against the door.

He could have lost you. Forever. Another person close to him.

His dreams would be tormented by the sight of your bloody corpse in some dirty alley. Again, he felt like that helpless little boy who had lost his brother. He found himself with Jordie THERE again.

Kaz couldn't go through all of it again. He wouldn't get up after your death. And there was only one thing he could do...

Fuck it all.

He needed you.

He was too exhausted to pretend any longer.

He was Kaz Brekker. He didn't need a reason. But his slowly dying heart without you seemed to be enough of an excuse to see you. Even if you're going to completely break it. Even the cold Bastard from the Barrel saw it as a good deal.

"JESPER!" he shouted, jumping out of his chair with his cane in hand.

"Yes?" his friend was at his side faster than ever.

"Tell the others to pack up. We're leaving in an hour." he muttered, taking out his travel bag from the wardrobe. Even without turning around, he knew a big smile had formed on Jesper's face.

We're going to get my girl back.

"About the damn time, Kaz." he patted him on the back and ran out of his office, telling the other crows the good news.

Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Even though I'm nothing to you now Even though I'm nothing to you now

Kaz had been afraid of a few things in his life, but walking through the threshold of your new apartment seemed to be the most terrible of all his fears.

His crows obeyed him without objection for the first time in their lives and stayed at the hotel. He came here. On trembling legs and a rapidly beating heart. With his soul on his shoulder, ready to sacrifice and do anything to get you back. And if you didn't change your mind, it would be with a mind ready to carve your image into his memory so he could enjoy seeing you one last time in his miserable life.

Before he could change his mind, he knocked on the door.

He waited patiently, hearing footsteps approaching. He held his breath as the key turned in the lock.

But you weren't the one who opened the door for him.

"What?" a well-built, dark-haired man stood in the doorway.

Kaz began to compare himself to him, concluding that, when it came to appearance, he was superior to him in everything. He didn't stand a chance against someone like that for your heart. Doubts began to flood back into him. What if Nina was right?

"Are you going to stand here for half a day or..."

"Jackson!" your voice from the depths of the apartment shook Kaz. It froze him completely, irritating the man in front of him even more. "I need your help here, you big fool. What are you doing?" a moment later, you were standing in the vestibule. Your eyes met. Kaz shivered under your gaze, cursing himself for how quickly he fell under your spell as he stood there completely dazed.

"Y/N." your name came out of his mouth reverently, like a prayer, like a song long forgotten by a wanderer. You looked exactly the same as you did a few months ago. Except for the faint shadows under his eyes, which Kaz considered his greatest enemies.

"Kaz."

"Jackson. Hello there." the man waved at him, stepping between you. Jackson looked at you, worried. Kaz felt both anger welling up in him, a feeling of envy at how close you were with this strange guy, but also relief that you had someone close to take care of you. Not that you couldn't overcome the worst hell alone. He just felt relieved that you didn't have to. "Let him in, or should I kick his ass, wave?"

Wave? Did you two have nicknames for each other?

"It's all right. You can leave us." you said as you walked past him to face Kaz. The man behind you sighed, shaking his head.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

It might as well have been directed at Kaz. For the first time in his whole new Dirtyhands' life, he didn't have a plan, an emergency exit, or another backup plan. But now he was standing in front of you, staring at you helplessly as he absorbed your form. And that damn sea smell in your hair...

"Kaz."

"Y/N." he said as he came back down to earth. He took a small, calming breath. "How are you?"

"Really? Are you here just to ask how I'm doing?" she asked incredulously, folding her arms.

Kaz wrinkled his nose at your dry, angry tone. As he could see, it would be even more difficult than he thought. He stood in front of you, twirling his cane nervously in his hands.

"I'm here for a completely different reason, but I couldn't… I couldn't not come and see you." he admitted turning his gaze back to you after lowering his head in embarrassment.

"I'm alright. My brother and I are having a great time."

"Brother?" he asked. Relief and joy washed over him. Nor could he help himself to this naive hope, which began to warm his cold heart.

"Yes... Jackson. Who did you think he was?" he did not answer. You could have guessed. He knew you saw the flicker of jealousy in his eyes after that strange man called you a wave. You were his tidemaker, his wave, his sea, and all the fucking things. For a moment, he forgot that he was the one who had deprived himself of the right to claim against you. "You saw me, you asked how I was, so you can go now. Goodbye, Kaz." you were about to close the door on him, but at the last moment he put his cane between them, preventing you from doing so. You opened your door again, giving him a questioning look.

"Come back with me." he whispered, defeated. He couldn't let you go. Not again, not after there was still the slightest chance you might still want him.

"What?" you whispered softly, pretty sure you misheard him.

"There's no other reason why I'm here... I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't think or function like a normal person without you next to me. I'm one step away from daydreaming about you, hallucinating, and being insane that you're still by my side, so please... I'm begging you to come back to me. I know I don't deserve you and that I hurt you. You have every right to kick me out, but please, Y/N, just come home."

"What exactly am I supposed to come back to, Kaz? A cold, surly boss who is afraid of his feelings? Who doesn't hesitate to hurt me to protect his heart?"

"I'm not... I'm not good at this. Feelings. I... I don't know what it's like to love, but I know that when I'm with you... when I'm with you, nothing else matters. Not Ketterdam, not power, not Kruge, not wealth, not profit—nothing has ever been on my pedestal. Only you. Always you. And maybe I'm terrified of it, but now I know that I'd rather fight my own demons for you than let you go. I will try my best. If you still want me." he stared at you with undisguised hope in his eyes, only now realising how close he had come to you during your conversation. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek uncertainly. "I love you, Y/N... even if I'm nothing to you now." he murmured, risking everything and resting his forehead against yours with a sigh.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

He inhaled your scent with his eyes closed, waiting for your move. Hope grew with him every second you continued to let him be so close to you.

"You're an idiot, Kaz Brekker." he didn't contradict or argue with you. He was a complete idiot, pushing you away and begging you to come back, all the while acting like a love-crazy fool… however, he wouldn't have it any other way if it meant you taking your place in his office again. If someday he could hold you in his arms… "You have lucky you're my idiot. With all of your bruises, scars, and everything else." you promised, hugging him tighter. You pulled away from him with serious eyes, making Kaz swallow. "But if you do that shit again, forget I'm coming back to you. Also, we need to seriously work on your communication, Brekker. Do you know how long I've had to struggle here with that other idiot who claims to be my brother?"

"I can hear all of it!" you sighed at your brother's grumbling and gave Kaz a meaningful look. Brekker smiled slightly, causing a matching goofy smirk to appear on your face.

"See? But seriously, I'm not kidding. Last chance, Kaz."

"A deal is a deal. You're never going anywhere without me again."

"A red flag!" your brother coughed from the kitchen. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the edge of Kaz's coat sleeve.

"Shut up, Jackson. I'm leaving, I'll be back in an hour! Try not to burn down the apartment, spitfire."

You didn't wait for his answer as you slammed the door behind you and stepped out with Kaz into the street. Brekker led you towards the hotel where the other crows were staying. His hand in yours, which did not escape your notice. You turned your head towards him, giving him a confused look, which made him smile slightly, shifting his gaze to the port and the sea.

At one point, he noticed that one of the waves "attacked" a trader, washing him over. He cursed so loudly that you could hear him even from this distance. Kaz shifted his gaze to you, immediately noticing the sly smirk on your face. Suddenly, the wallet fell from the sky right into your waiting hand, along with droplets of salty, cool water.

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. A self-satisfied smirk formed on his face after seeing your blush.

One day, he will be able to touch you without his gloves. Hold in your arms without layers of clothes on. He will do it. No matter how long it takes him to get rid of the greatest demon of his past. But something told him that you'd keep his head from going under the water again. His queen of waves. His crow. His anchor. And he will make sure that he holds you in his arms forever. 

#Spotify #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #masterlist #six of crows #oneshot #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kasagia #kaz and jesper #nina zenik #inej ghafa #fools in love #angst with a happy ending #angst with a fluffy ending #fluff #missing someone #romance #flirting #ketterdam #the crows #jesper fahey #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #angst

[baurbiediv]

just friends, right ..?

jj maybank x fwb!black!reader

content warnings: possessive jj (he’s deadass so mean in this), smutttttttt, unprotected sex, i mean this shit is just a lil nasty 😩

“m’so sorrryy jj!” you cried.

“mm .. it’s too bad, i don’t care.” jj said lowly, focused on pressing you further into the mattress with one hand as his other hand applied more pressure to your clit. your head felt so incredibly heavy, the air inside of his room was thick and sweaty. the only sound rendering was the sound of jj’s grunting and his hips hitting into your ass.

the force of his thrusts threatening to damn near knock the wind out of you, “i don’t understand why you’re closing your eyes when i’m fucking you this good, open your eyes.” jj grumbled, this man was actually insane.

you kept your eyes open as best as you could, you wanted to reach out to him, grab him by his necklace and give him the sloppiest kiss you’d ever experienced.

this wasn’t even your fault, actually. this started all because of a party, you were talking to some guy and you’d guessed that jj was really to fond of the guy (he didn’t know him at all.) jj had been watching the two of you from a distance, waiting to make his entrance when he felt like it.

jj wasn’t your boyfriend, you two weren’t dating, so what the hell was the problem? you were friends with benefits. you wouldn’t lie to yourself, jj was a pretty boy, and he knew that.

and that’s how you ended up under jj, all because someone got possessive over something that really wasn’t his.

jj watched as you held your own legs in the air and he watched ahe thought you looked so pretty like this, goddess braids sprawled out almost perfectly on his pillows. his eyes stuck on where you two connected, the whimpers escaping from your lips being the only sound that he wanted to hear. the blond boy grabbed your jaw, the pace of his hips unrelenting.

“why do you have to entertain other guys when you have me?” jj said, a fake pout adorning his face. if he wasn’t so deep in your guts right now, you would’ve slapped the pout on his face. you watched his hand inch it’s way to your already sensitive clit, his thumb began to rub

“i s-said i was sor-ry!” you gasped when the tip of his dick kissed your cervix. a smirk appearing his face, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. jj tapped your cheek twice, bringing you back to reality. “come on back to reality y/n..” he cooed, grabbing your face as he pressed his lips against yours. “jj..” you breathed out, your fingers tapping faintly on his lower abdomen, signaling your orgasm as close.

jj shook his head, grabbing a handful of your braids and yanking them to the side allowing his better access to your neck. he lowered his body, his lips just barely ghosting the shell of your ear. “now i want you to tell me, who fucks you better than i do?” jj grumbled, his lips leaving kisses just below your ear, you could feel his lips and teeth nipping and biting at the skin on your neck, leaving a few distinct deep purple marks.

“y-you .. ohhhhmygoddd.” before you knew it, your sensitive walls began squeezing around jj, your legs shaking uncontrollably as your orgasm came washing over you. jj moved his head from your neck, his thumb still rubbing at your clit, his other hand up to your mouth while he proceeded to chase his own orgasm, his hips pounding into you, over and over again.

the blond boy above you couldn’t count how many times he’d seen your eyes roll into the back of your head in one night, but it sure was a lot. jj tapped your cheek once more, forcing you to come back to your senses once again, “you must want me to repeat myself.” a couple more harsh thrusts later, jj was emptying himself inside of you, pressing your lips to yours to silence you. your hand subconsciously holding his.

the two of you stayed like that for a moment before he pulls out of you. your legs finally falling back against the bed, your eyes feeling heavy. your cropped tank top disheveled, your shorts and underwear long forgotten about. jj was sitting on the edge of the bed, buttoning his shorts back up, he got up disappearing into the bathroom momentarily, coming back with a rag. he sits next to you, lifting your leg open.

“did you purposely piss me off so i could fuck you like that?” jj questioned.

you rolled your eyes, “jj get over yourself. you know why you did this, you got jealous cause i was talking to some guy.” you huffed before feeling him wipe your inner thighs and your sensitive pussy, which had you whine out loud.

“thought so.”

#jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fic #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank x pogue!reader #obx fic #obx imagine #obx #jj obx #obx fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #black!reader #black!fem!reader #black!y/n #jj maybank x black!reader

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ i. suguru

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⭑๋࣭ summary page

please refresh your memory of the content warnings that's mentioned on the summary page. this chapter will include s*xual activites.

“Ah, fuck, baby. Just like that.”

 No. I lied. Not just like that. 

 I’ve been in the bathroom for twenty minutes with some chick, whose name I can’t remember, getting probably the worst head I’ve ever had in my life. I’m pretty sure I’m still soft, but her self-esteem won’t allow her pride to be tarnished by the lack of abilities she has to make me cum. 

 She approached me while I was having drinks with Satoru, Shoko, and Nanami. Well, really Shoko and Nanami because Satoru just keeps getting sugary milkshakes. Anyways, that’s not the point. She approached me. I thought she had nice lips, which I thought could be utilized to please me, but instead, she couldn’t stop talking.

 “Do you like that, baby?” She asked, for maybe, the tenth time. 

 I groaned. Though, not in the way that she thinks. I couldn’t do this anymore, and I knew her knees were hurting. “No. Look, Akane,” I sigh, pulling her off me and lifting her to meet my face. “I don’t—”

 “Ayame,” she interrupted. I gave her a confused look. “My name is Ayame. Not, Akane.”

 My right eye twitched. “Okay, Ayame . Look,” I began, adjusting myself back in my pants. “I don’t like it. It’s okay, though. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe I’m just tired. But hey, I’ll get your number and we can try this some other time. Okay?”

 “Ugh, whatever.” 

 I eventually got her number before we made our way out of the bathroom. I’m not going to text her. I was just trying to make her feel better.

 My plans were never to hook up with anyone tonight, let alone leave my apartment. But Satoru insisted I needed to come out of my shell more. 

 I’m pretty sure that was code for, “You need to get laid.”  

 I argued with him that I don’t need anything. It wasn’t hard for me to find someone to have sex with. I’ve just been on a break because I haven’t found anyone who matches my libido or someone I actually enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong. Most of the women I’ve been with are beautiful. Physically, my type. However, they’re just too boring. Too prissy. It’s like they’re trying to prove something to me when I fuck them. 

 The unnecessary loud moaning.

 The unnatural facial expressions when they cum.

 Not wanting to be kissed after I eat their pussy, which I find strange because why wouldn’t you want to taste yourself? Questionable .

 Anyways. This is the last time I’m allowing Satoru to drag me out of my apar—

 My thoughts were interrupted by someone running into me. 

 “Oh! I’m sorry.”

 That. . . That voice. Sultry. Raspy. All I heard were three words and I felt at ease. Her scent. It was alluring. Sweet. Delicate. I’m picking up notes of warm berries, creamy vanilla. Maybe cacao? She smells so fucking good. But when I looked at her? I’m convinced she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever fucking laid eyes on.

 Her complexion reminded me of autumn. Deep and warm. Those chestnut-colored doe eyes I knew I would become lost in if I didn’t look away. It didn’t take long before I took notice of the fullness of her lips. They were two different colors. Brown on top and pink on bottom, coated with a clear gloss. Gosh, I want to suck them. I want to suck them so fucking badly until she becomes whiny. My cock is getting hard just thinking—

 “Hello?” She spoke again. 

  Suguru, what the fuck?

 I looked down and noticed my fingers were still caged around her soft flesh. I immediately pulled away. “S-Sorry,” I stammered. Why am I so damn nervous?

 She looked at me through narrow eyes with a hint of playfulness. “It’s okay. . . Well, enjoy your night.” 

 “Wait!” Before she turned away from me, I impulsively reached for her wrist to prevent her from leaving. Those brown hues that were amorous turned dark, daggers that penetrated my head. They were a warning to let her go. They make me want to be submit. So I didn’t let go. “What’s your name?”

 I still see the daggers in her eyes, however, she slightly raised her brows while tilting her head out of confusion— boldness —of my decision to not let go of her wrist. My expression is deadpan, but I feel heat rushing to my body, to my cock. She drags her eyes up my six-foot-three frame, stopping at the front of my pants that caused my dick to twitch in response. She chuckled, snatched her wrist, and walked away from me. 

 I stood where she left me, lustful, watching her tight curls bounce every step she took, which I guessed to be to the bar. 

 I want her. No. I needed her. I’ll let our tension relax for now, but I hope my nights end with her bouncing on my cock.

Later that night. . . .

I sit at the booth, dividing my attention between the conversation being held at the table and the bar, where the woman I ran into earlier sits. I can’t stop thinking about fucking her. The image of her thick curves plays in my mind. She’s so sexy. That backless dress that clung to her hips drove me insane. I was craving those love handles. I wanted to hold them. Bite them to leave my territorial marks. What the fuck is wrong with me? This instant lust was foreign to me. I don’t remember the last time my cock was this eager. Maybe never.

 “Suguru!” Satoru’s voice tore me away from my perverted thoughts. 

 “Huh?” I answered, but my attention was still on the bar.

 He pouted. “Are you even listening to me?”

 “Uhm, yeah. You were talking about throwing a surprise party for Utahime,” I said, hoping I was right because I did want to hear a speech about ignoring him.

 “No. That was thirty minutes ago.”

 “Okay, sorry. Repeat what you said.” 

 He sighed. “There’s no point. You’re not even looking at me. What are you even looking at over. . . Ohhh, I see.” I knew Satoru would begin mocking me based on his voice and how he slurped the remnants of probably his fourth milkshake tonight. 

 “Aren’t you glad I dragged you out tonight? If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have seen her,” he says, scooting closer to nudge me. “She’s gorgeous.”

 I snapped my attention back to Satoru with possessive eyes. Why? She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even know her name, but she was off-limits. Mine. I know she’s gorgeous. He didn’t have to fucking tell me that. 

 I decided not to play into his obvious game. My time can be used elsewhere. Like sitting next to that beautiful woman. I’ve been watching her for the past three hours, seeing how several men, at least ten or more approached her with their advances. 

 She declined every single last one. But I didn’t care. Seeing her reject a couple of men would never hurt my ego. . . especially since I knew she’d be mine.

 I had nothing to worry about.

 I left the table for the second time tonight and this time, I’m not planning on returning. 

 Every step that I took, brought me closer to the woman of my dreams. Her rich scent starts to fill my senses. She’s making me have a smell kink. If she smells that delectable, I could only imagine the scent of her pussy. I’d do anything to run my nose along her natural odor.

  Focus, Suguru. You can’t go over there hard. 

 Yes, I can, and I will. 

 I was close enough to be in the shot of her peripheral, making her notice me. She sized me up before giving her attention back to the large televisions surrounding the bar. I smirked. She’s enticing. She may or may not make me work for pussy, but I don’t mind at all. 

 Of course, I’m a gentleman, so I asked if the seat next to her was taken. I’m sure the other guys asked her this same question. I saw her reject them. She didn’t say yes or no to me. So naturally I took it as a yes. 

 I nodded at the bartender. “Open a tab for me. Double Hibiki on the rocks, and add this lovely lady’s tab onto mine,” I told him. 

 “I can pay for my tab,” she says, eyes remaining on the TV. 

 “I don’t remember saying that you couldn’t. Now did I?” I saw her roll her eyes, which made me chuckle. Fuck, I like her even more. “Are you going to tell me your name now?”

 She lightly scoffs. “Why are you being so clingy over a name? And common courtesy, you introduce yourself before asking for someone’s name. Do you lack mannerisms?” 

 Twenty-four words.

 That’s how many words she spoke to me, and I watched her plush lips pronounce every last syllable. 

 She speaks to me with such spice, but I know she’d sound so sweet while my cock is in her depths. 

  Fuck . 

 “You’re right. Maybe you can forgive my lack of mannerisms ,” I say, teasingly. “My name is Geto Suguru.”

 She finally gives me her attention, scanning my arms that are painted with tattoos before actually looking at my face, leisurely. But says nothing and returns to watch whatever is on TV. 

 I continued, “I didn’t get your name?” The bartender placed my whiskey in front of me and I nodded my gratitude while waiting for her name. 

 “Because I didn’t give it. What do you want anyways? Placed a bet with your friends to see if you could get an older woman’s number? Hm?”

 I threw my hands up in surrender, chucking. “No, and older? We’re probably the same age. I can even argue that you’re younger than me.”

 “Ha, I doubt it.”

 “Twenty-seven.”

 “Me or you?” she asks.

 “Me.” I take another sip of my drink. “You?”

 “Damn, you want my name and age? Should I give you my ID number, too?” 

  She’s such a fucking tease. 

 “I’ll settle for your name and age.” For now. 

 Her lips part into a smile that pulls strings inside my chest. “Ah, asking a woman’s age. . . There goes those lack of manners.”

 I smirk. “I just want to make sure I can be in this territory.”

 We lock eyes. Hers shines curiosity and mine shines intent. I want her to understand that I’m not going anywhere unless it’s with her. For a moment, I allowed my eyes to fall on her gloss-coated lips, then the rest of her body to make my message clear. Something in me wanted the boldness to leak and tell her how badly I wanted her on my cock, but I chose to play it safe. 

 “Thirty-five.”

 “Me or you?” I teased, earning another eye roll from her. 

 “And for your information,”—she raises her left hand—“territory off limits. I have a husband.”

 Oh, so she is married. 

 Funny she thinks that’s going to stop me. Like I’m supposed to give a fuck. 

 “Well, I think it’s silly that your husband is allowing such a beautiful woman such as yourself”—my eyes roam along her curves—“to come out alone and potentially have other men make a move on her. No?”

 She narrowed her eyes. “What are you trying to say, Geto? Just spit it out.”

  Say my fucking name like that again. 

 I got up from my seat, invading her personal space to ghost my lips along her ear, making it clear, “I want to fuck you. . . so badly. ” The last words came out as a faint whisper. 

 I stood there for a moment so my clear message could linger. If I didn’t know any better, her breathing quickened for a moment. I sat back in my seat and watched her attentively to see if I could catch a reaction. Her face showed none, but the subtle uncrossing and crossing of her legs told me everything I needed to know. 

 She’s aroused.

  Wet .

 Dripping. 

 But she didn’t say anything. Only cleared her throat and sipped on her near-empty glass of wine. 

 We sat in silence for at least ten minutes and just when I was about to call the bartender for another round for the both of us, she stood up. She started walking away, and rather than reaching for her wrist like I did the last time, I watched her sway her full hips in the direction of the restrooms. She has been drinking, so of course she probably needs to go clear her system. However, the small look over her shoulders in my direction said otherwise. 

 I chugged the rest of my whiskey, pulled out cash, leaving more than needed, and followed her. 

Our lips collided, kissing recklessly like two horny college kids at a frat party. My hands rummaged through her body to leave firm grips along her thick curves. Every grip I left was a handful that caused her whimpers to leak into my mouth. I sucked on her lips before allowing my tongue to invade her mouth, where I was met with heaven. She tasted so fucking sweet and was so damn soft. Kissing her alone could make me cum. 

 My cock is screaming for a release, being uncomfortable due to the restraint of my pants that keeps its hardness from fully erecting. I’m in between wanting to take my time with her and being eager to fuck her, so I choose the latter. I lifted her with ease onto the sink, parting from her lips to drag mine along her flesh. I suck, nip, and lick that sweet and succulent neck of hers. She whimpers, more so whines, and I couldn’t get enough of how sexy she fucking sounds. Not forced. Not trying to impress me. Just pure bliss. 

 I found my way between her breasts to leave open-mouth kisses while playing with her nipples through the sheer material. She loses her fingers in my hair, pulling me closer to her until my air circulation was blocked. She’s fucking needy too? 

 “Geto,” she moans, softly. 

 “Hm? What’s wrong, pretty girl?”

 “ I need more. ”

 “You need more, what?” I ask, pulling down her straps to expose her breasts. 

 They’re so full. I’m met with the prettiest titties I have ever seen. Naturally saggy. Slight stretch marks. Dark brown peaks.

 They’re fucking perfect. 

 I continue, “Use your words. I don’t know what you need if you don’t tell me.” Then start sucking on her nipples. 

 Her gasps fill the bathroom, and while I’m showing love to her breasts, she begins hiking up her dress and spreads her legs. 

 I smell her. 

 How wet she is. 

 Her scent is telling me that she’s dying to cream on my cock. But I need to hear it. 

 “Geto. . . I need you to fuck me, ” she purrs.

 I stopped sucking her breasts to level with her face. Both of our hues are darkening with an appetite for each other. Lust. Hunger. A need for a release. I pulled out a condom from my pocket and held it in my mouth. Without breaking our intense eye contact, I unbuckle my pants to push down, along with my briefs, in one motion to free my cock. She looked down and sucked in a sharp breath before bringing her eyes back up to me. 

 She’s probably thinking that she can’t take me. But she will. That’s what I’m here for. To help her and make sure she does. 

 I ripped the wrapper with my teeth to roll on my cock, still not taking my eyes off her. I will never stop watching her. I need to see her reaction to everything I do.

 When I finish pushing her dress up to her waist.

 When her brows draw together when I pull her panties to the side and run my fingers along her puffy folds to rub her clit. 

 She looks so damn pretty when she’s pleased. I’m anticipating her face when I’m finally inside her. 

 I pull her to the edge of the sink, lining my cock up to her entrance to push in. But I was met with an intrusion. My head was barely in. When was the last time she got fucked? 

 “Hm, stubborn we’re being. Aren’t we?” I taunt. 

 “It’s been a minute,” she teases back. 

 That’s fine. We’ll fix that.

 I bring my fingers back to her pussy to warm up her walls. The moment I slipped inside, she immediately clenched onto my fingers. I only had two in and I felt like I was being pushed out again. I’m not going anywhere though. I pump my digits in and out of her, pulling the most obnoxious and pornographic sounds of wetness. It’s like music to my ears. My only intent was to open her up a bit, but I could tell she was dying to cum. 

 She looks at me through lidded eyes, softly panting and holding my wrist. I pick up my speed while now rubbing her clit with my thumb. Her walls clamp tighter and together around my fingers. She was about to cum, so she kept my hand on her sex to ride out her orgasm. 

 “ F-Fuck . . . Geto. I’m cumming.” Earlier she was spicy to me, but now she cries and sounds so sweet cumming on my fingers.  

 She’s open and ready to cum for me again. 

 I grabbed my cock to slam myself inside of her in one motion, which gifted me with a sharp cry I’m sure anyone outside could hear. She slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds of pleasure, but I shook my head and removed her hand. 

 “When I’m inside of you. . .”—I pulled back—“When I’m making you cum. . .”—I pushed in—“You call me Suguru. Okay?” She nodded, placing her hand below my abdomen to hold my shirt up to prepare for my thrusts. “Good girl.”

 I didn’t let her adjust to my size. She could take it. I know she can. I start fucking her with hunger while keeping her legs apart. Gosh, she’s so fucking tight. So wet and warm. I doubt her husband knows what to do with her pussy because she wouldn’t be here crying on my cock. 

 I stuff every inch of me in her depths to pull out her moans. To watch how gorgeous she looks while being fucked. I want to ask her if can I feel her raw because this fucking rubber is preventing me from feeling her a hundred percent. But I don’t want to show my greed

 Not yet, at least. 

 I’ve never had pussy this good before. Pussy that’s leaking and creaming all over me. No one else deserves this but me. Fucking pussy this good is pure luck, and I feel like the luckiest man alive. 

 “You’re doing so good, Suguru. This feels so fucking good,” she moans. “Fuck me harder.”

 Her praise makes my dick twitch. Imagine being praised by someone with pussy as good as hers. 

  I’m so lucky. 

 However, her need for more makes me possessive. I ripped her away from the sink to place her back against the door and fucked her against it. The door jiggles from our intense fucking and it only jumps more the harder I fuck her. 

 “W-Wait! S-Suguru, it’s too. . . it’s too much. You’re too big, ” she stammered through breathy moans. 

 I clicked my tongue. “You begged me to fuck you harder and now it’s too much?”—I shook my head—“Take this cock like a good girl because I know you can. I know you can. Just take it for me. Okay? Hm? Will you do that for me? I just want to make you cum one more time. Is that okay?”

 Every word I spoke to her I felt her squeezing my cock. I can feel her cumming again soon. She just needed reassurance. 

 “. . . O-Okay . I’ll take it, Suguru. I’ll take it .”

 I repeatedly pecked her lips. “Fuck. Thank you, angel. Thank you for giving me this good pussy. This fat wet pussy. Do you realize how good you feel?”

 I continued pounding into her and pulling her down on my cock simultaneously. I noticed how her full tits bounced out completely of her dress with every thrust I made, and how her chestnut-colored eyes became glossy, tears pricking. She’s high off ecstasy because of me. Not her pathetic ass husband. I don’t even know the guy, but how big of a loser you have to be not to worship a woman as enticing as she is.

 I think I’m infatuated. 

 No, I love her. She needs to be mine. I’m the only motherfucker that needs to fuck her like this. This cannot be a one time deal. I’m going to make her cum again tonight. Tomorrow. The day after. The weekend. All day, every day. Only me. 

  Suguru. Relax.

 I’m so lost in my thoughts, but her heightened moans brought me back. She doesn’t care about being loud anymore. Yes. Cry my name loud enough so the whole restaurant knows who’s making you cum like a slut in the bathroom. 

 “Yes. Oh, fuck, yes! Give it to me, Suguru. Give it,” she begs while rubbing her clit. “I’m about to cum again.”

 I push through every single last of my thrusts, digging my fingers into her flesh to keep her in place. “Look at my pretty girl taking this fucking cock.” I fuck her with the energy of a lion chasing its prey. “Like this?”

 “Fuck yes. Right there. I’m cumming, Suguru!”

 I’m indecisive about letting her moans roam freely or devouring them with a kiss. And she looks so pretty. That fucking smile, while libido pumps through her veins, has my cock jumping inside of her unruly. I’m doing my best to hold back my release, but the feel of her pussy is not making it easy. 

 I look down between us and fucking groan from seeing the creamy mess she’s making. My cock down to my balls. The hem of my shirt. Her thighs. Even after she orgasmed, her pussy grips me. I know I told myself I wouldn’t be greedy just yet, but fuck that. 

 “One more?” I panted, smirking. 

 Her eyes blew wide. “S-Suguru, no. I don’t think I can.”

 “So why is your fucking pussy still latching onto me?” I was left with nothing but a whimper. “Exactly. Keep rubbing your clit until you cum again and squirt all over me.”

 I remove her from the door to hook my arms under her thighs to have her meet with my precise thrusts. She hooks one of her hands around my neck while the other is being used to play with herself. I feel my balls growing heavy and they slap against her sex.

 I was recklessly fucking her pussy like I have no home training. I moan for her. Call for her despite me not knowing her name. I’m lucky. I’m so, so lucky. Fuck her husband. This pussy is mine. I don’t care if this is our first encounter. I’ll kill over pussy like this. 

 “Ahh, fuck!” I growled. My release crept up to the tip of my cock and sprayed the inside of the condom while I fucked her through both of our orgasms. She splashed all over me, drenching my cock, shirt, and pants with her juices. 

 I hope she doesn’t think this is the last time we’ll see each other.

 I rest my face on the side of her cheek, breaking heavily from that intense orgasm. I know the condom is filled to the stop. I had years worth of cum built inside of me, and I still feel like I have more to give. 

 She looks at me, eyes still filled with lust and smirks. “Not too bad, Geto.”

 “I thought I told you to call me Suguru,” I say, leaving kisses on her neck.

 “You said only when I’m cumming on your cock.”

 She listens.

 “I did say that. Didn’t I?” I let out an airy chuckle. “Still call me Suguru.”

 “Okay, Suguru .” It rolls off her tongue perfectly even when she’s not moaning. “I enjoyed myself.”

 I nipped on her jawline before meeting her lips with a sensual kiss. “I did too. I want to do it again.”

 “You got three nuts out of me. How greedy can you be?” She teases.

 If only she knew.

 “No. Not tonight. I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but not tonight. Another time.”

 She looks at me in confusion. “One night stands aren’t your cup of tea?” She taps my shoulders to let her down, so she can start fixing herself. We shared a final moan when I removed my cock from her pussy. The lost contact made me want her more. 

 “They are, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying each other’s company. No?”

 “No, but”–she pulls down her dress—“you’re forgetting that I’m married.”

 I arched my brow, teasingly. “Did I forget or did you?”

 She glares at me. “Seems like I have a thing for jackasses with good dick.”

 There goes that spice again.

 “Look. That’s not what I meant and you know that.”

 “Ha. Oh, do I?” 

 I watched her finish adjusting herself in the mirror, grabbing her purse, and heading for the door. The moment her hand lands on the handle, I put my hand on top of hers to keep the knob from turning. By all means, she’s not a short woman. Maybe five-foot-seven at most. But even with heels, I tower her. 

 Wrapping my free arm around her waist, I push myself against her so she can feel my erection against her ass. My lips meet with her ear, and I know she’s affected by my actions because I heard the moment her breath hitched.

 “It’s just. . . you’re so damn beautiful . You can’t give me that good pussy and expect me to only want it once,” I whisper. “I haven’t even tasted you yet.”

 “ Suguru . . .” Her voice was soft, barely above a hushed tone.

 “Hm?”

 She turns around. Our eyes lock once more. Her plush lips ghost over mines, nearly kissing me, but says, “ Go fuck yourself, ” and walks out the door. 

 Yeah. I think I love her. 

 I follow behind her like a lost puppy. “Wait!” She stops in the hallway near the bathrooms. “You still didn’t give me your name.”

 Smirking over her shoulder, she left me there with a semi-hard cock and her name.

 “Y/N.”

  Y/N. . . Perfect.

 I hope she doesn’t think this will be the last time I see her.

 It’s not. 

  Far from it.

next chapter

#jjk x black reader #jjk x reader #anime x black!reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru x black reader #geto suguru x reader #suguru x reader #geto x black reader #geto x reader

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Wet your Throat – Rugan/Tav

Tav had a stressful week and longs to just surrender control. Luckily for her, Rugan has some ideas and a specific scroll he'd been meaning to try out.

AO3 here | Tags:

Tav fell down into the chair with a heavy sigh. 

“I can’t believe I had to solve a serial killer’s case on top of everything else”, she exhaled. “I swear, sometimes it’s like I’m the only one people listen to.”

Rugan chuckled from across the room, making his way over to lean down and give her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “That’s because you’re incredibly competent at your job”, he smirked, “and you got that swaggery attitude those tossers respect.”

“Swaggery attitude? Sounds more like you”, Tav grinned back. “But thank you.” 

She pulled him closer for another kiss, her hands immediately starting to wander across his body: his lean muscles, the soft belly and his strong abs, his calloused hands… Ever since they’d started seeing each other she couldn’t get enough of him, and luckilyr, he felt the same about her.

“Maybe you should take a day or two off”, Rugan murmured, sliding his hands underneath her shirt. His hands felt rough against her softer skin, but she craved his touch, craved the prickling sensation that gave her goosebumps every time his hands brushed over her breasts. His mouth found the side of her neck in a completely unfair motion – he knew that she was weak for him sucking at her skin there. “And let me take care of you.”

Tav hummed into his touch. “I mean…” Her thoughts trailed off for a moment when his hands wandered up to her breasts, tenderly squeezing. “We’re waiting on a few things… maybe I could…” She let her head fall back when he rolled her nipple between his fingers, a shaky breath coming out of her mouth. 

Rugan chuckled, his low voice clearly amused. “I have an idea”, he suggested with a sultry undertone, nibbling at her throat before pulling away, looking at her expectantly. “But it requires a bit of trust.”

Tav sat up straight. The way he said it was intriguing and sent a shiver down her spine. Over the past weeks Rugan had increasingly come out of his shell and shown her more and more of what he was into. Their sex had gotten rougher, and in turn, better, as Tav discovered she absolutely loved getting told what to do, and how to do it, and when to do it; blindly following his wishes all in an effort to please him. When they were together she wasn’t the revered hero, nor he the experienced smuggler. They just were.

“I’m listening”, she grinned with excitement, and Rugan returned her expression with a smirk. 

“Two things”, he said, standing back up to walk over to a shelf, pulling out a scroll. “First: Tell me if things get too much, so I can stop and use the counter.” He flipped through some papers, then held up another spell. “And second: Take your fucking clothes off.”

Tav swallowed. She hadn’t expected them to start right away – not that she minded. But it was unexpected. 

“Didn’t you say you had work to do–”

“Making me repeat myself?” Rugan’s voice was low and dangerous, exactly how she loved it, and Tav wetted her lips before starting to undo the laces of her shirt without further comment. It took her only a few moments until she stood there, completely naked, waiting for whatever was next. 

The Zhent let his gaze fall over her body, an unreadable expression on his face. She knew that decades of practice let him slip on that mask easily, way more easily than she could, and every time he looked at her like he didn’t give a damn, heat pooled down between her legs. 

Rugan held up one of the scrolls and started reading: A low chant, and rather long compared to other scrolls she knew, and his forehead laid in creases as he focused on the words. And then, she felt it: Her breasts started to… swell. From the outside they barely expanded, but they felt plumper, fuller. Tense, as if waiting for release. 

“Fuck”, she breathed out in surprise, “What was that?”

“Don’t remember asking you to speak”, Rugan dismissed her, sitting down at the table, the documents he’d been working on before she arrived still laid out in front of him. “Come here. And be a good lass and bring me that scarf.” 

Tav tentatively touched her breast, trying to figure out what the spell had done – if he wanted to enlarge them it barely worked – and moaned out in surprise when her core clenched at the sensation.

Her breast was wet. Was she… leaking?

“Tav.” Rugan’s voice was half warning, half charm, and Tav hurried through the room to grab the scarf from the side table.

When she walked up to him he unbuttoned his trousers, took out his fully erect cock, and patted his lap.

“Take a seat, why don’t you?”, he demanded, eyes sparkling. 

Gods, yes. Tav noticed she was soaked, her body having dialed up the arousal within mere moments, and when she climbed on his lap to sink down on him, his cock slid into her with ease.

“Fuck”, she groaned and started to roll her hips into him, eager to please. But his hands stopped her. 

“Sit still”, he murmured, taking the scarf out of her hands. He tied it around her eyes, blindfolding her, before reaching around to bring her arms behind her back, tying them up with the leftover fabric. 

Tav gasped. She couldn’t see and she couldn’t move. She was stuck, sitting on his cock.

Rugan shifted underneath her, leaning forward. Tav smiled, expecting him to meet her mouth with his, or maybe her throat, but instead, he reached for the papers and, from what it sounded like, started working on his documents.

A soft gasp flew out of Tav’s throat when she realized what he was doing, and she heard him chuckle in response.

“Good lass”, he praised her, “Always been a quick one to catch on.”

Her body felt like it was on fire. The constant swell in her breasts made her flush with need, and his thick cock buried inside of her did little to ease the tension without either of them moving. Every sensation felt heightened as she couldn’t see nor move, and when her walls clenched around him she let out a moan, surprised by just how aroused she was.

Rugan chuckled with a low voice and ran his free hand over her back in a soothing motion. They sat there for at least an hour, with Tav’s body steadily climbing towards a high just from the way her tits felt and his cock twitched, and when he shuffled the papers and set them away she was already panting.

“Work makes me thirsty”, he murmured, sucking at her throat. “Good of you to offer me a refreshment.”

He pushed her chest backwards until she was leaning into his arm. His mouth closed around her right nipple, tongue softly lapping. Tav groaned. Her breasts felt like they were going to burst, full and needing release. 

But then, he… sucked. 

An orgasm crashed over her so quickly she didn’t know what was happening, only that she was helplessly shuddering in his arms on his cock. Rugan sighed and kept sucking, and only when Tav’s body was calming after her high did she realize that he was swallowing something. From her. He was drinking from her.

“What’s happening?” Tav whimpered, already feeling her body respond to Rugan’s mouth anew. The breast he was drinking from ached with need, mixed with sweet release, edging her on the more he sucked at it. 

“Fuck, you taste so good.” She couldn’t see his face, but she heard him groan out praise with her flesh still between his teeth. Her hips had started to move on their own, grinding into him. Down in her cunt, his cock was still rock hard, and Rugan grunted when she rolled her waist into him with more and more lust. 

He brought his mouth to her other breast, eager to repeat the process there: His hands dug into her ass, pulling her body against his, and as soon as the tension in her tit found release by spilling into his mouth, Tav came again. This time, she moaned so loudly she was sure the neighbors heard, and Rugan chuckled between swallowing, sucking out more and more of the juices that flowed from her tits down his throat. 

Tav’s head fell over, uselessly resting against Rugan’s. 

“I could sit here all day”, he sighed, exhaling deeply. “Having you come on my cock again and again, just like that, tight and ready, not knowing what is happening”, he chuckled. “I could invite the Zhentarim here for a meeting and have them watch you shudder with release without you any the wiser. I could… ah–” 

He stood up from the chair, pushing it backwards in the process, his arms steadying her legs and body before setting her down on the table. Tav blinked uselessly against the blindfold, paralyzed, and now on top of everything she was lying on her own arms. Rugan was still buried inside her, but he started to slowly pump in and out, languidly moving his hips while his hands wandered up to her breasts, squeezing them both. 

Wetness drooled down her breasts and the feeling of release made her clit twitch with need while she sobbed out a curse. 

“Such beautiful tits”, Rugan murmured, pulling out slowly before slamming into her with full force. “So tasty, and juicy, and needy.” 

Tav mewled at the praise, her entire body on fire. It felt like there was a direct connection from her nipples down to her core, and every time her tits were caressed, or sucked at, new waves of pleasure threatened to drag her under. 

Rugan started fucking her in earnest, slamming into her cunt so needily that the breath temporarily left Tav’s lungs. “I could have you sit on my cock all day”, he grunted between thrusts, “wet and clenching like a slut, while I ignore you.”

Another set of moans escaped her throat at the thought. The past hour had been torturous, but oh so good, and she longed to warm is cock within her walls, serve him, be good for him, while he was working. 

“Please”, Tav sobbed, “You can use me however you want.”

“Oh”, Rugan chuckled, “I will.” 

He slapped her tit without warning, and the sudden pain mixed with the tension of the spell, making her come on the spot. Tav’s walls spasmed around his cock as she came undone, again and again in quick succession, and he moaned at the feeling of her cunt tightening around him. Picking up his pace he kept fucking her, and as soon as she’d come down from her high he slapped her other tit, making her come all over again. 

Wetness had started to spurt out of her with every orgasm, and his balls were dripping with her juices, slapping against her ass while he pounded into her. There wasn’t anything on Tav’s mind. There was no space. Each time she calmed, he slapped her again, or pinched her nipple, or bent down to suck, and each time she came again, so often her throat hurt from the strain of her vocal cords. 

When he finally pushed himself over the edge he grabbed her tits with both hands, squeezing and digging, making her milk out his seed while her cunt constricted around him. Tav cried out, tears leaking out of the sides of her blindfold. Her arms, still bound behind her back, were numb, her legs were trembling, and her tits hurt in a delicious pain that continued to stir at her core. 

Eventually, Rugan sighed, picked her up, and sat back down on the chair, his cock still in her. 

“Such a good girl”, he whispered before kissing her. He gently pulled her forward so she could rest against his head and his shoulders, panting heavily. “Wait here”, he chuckled. “I have some more work to do.”

#bg3 rugan #rugan #rugan x tav #bg3 smut #bg3 fanfic #my writing #this was supposed to be a drabble but now here we are #it's been a tough week so let's change the topic to SMUT

[codenamesazanka]

"Now let's talk about Shigaraki and Spinner. Can we talk about Shigaraki and Spinner please? I've been dying to talk about Shigaraki and Spinner, okay? 

Spinaraki, this connection keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every once in a while, Spinaraki crumbs get given to me, to you, to us all. Spinaraki, Spinneraki, I look in the manga, this whole story is Shigaraki/Spinner! 

And so I say to myself, I gotta read carefully, I gotta get a hold of myself, I gotta abide by canon! Otherwise, i’m just daydreaming, it’s gonna just be fanfic I made up for myself. So I try to keep my expectations low, I prepare myself for disappointment, I know that Spinner is just a silly guy, a side character, he can’t be all that important, Shigaraki probably doesn’t even care about him. They’re loser gamers, they play fucking League of Legends. They’re villains, they want to destroy everything, Spinner is some mindless follower, Shigaraki is fucking possessed. They’re nothing. They’re toxic. It’s the imitation of a connection, they have no genuine wills, they don’t know what a real bond is. 

And what do I find out? What do I find? There’s Chapter 379, when Shigaraki breaks out of AFO possession and he thinks of Spinner. Right there smack in the middle of the page is Spinner, Spinner at his most heartfelt moment when he pleads, fucking pleads for Kurogiri to save Shigaraki and the others, when he deviated from AFO’s control and manipulations and machinations to wake Kurogiri up his own way, powered by the strength of his friendship with Shigaraki. Shigaraki wasn’t even there for that, and yet that flashback panel is there. 

So I decide, "Ohhhh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Spinaraki connection? You gotta be kidding me! I got the next panel on the same page, a flashback of Tenko, Inner Tenko, Core Tenko, the pure, innocent five-year-old, angry and insulted at being accused of having no friends - of not understanding what it means to have friends, because he would not feel the need to destroy. Shigaraki remembers this moment that is his core, bursting out temporarily from the depths of possession because it had not, could not be consumed or overtaken or erased, it’s part of his indomitable will, and through the strength of that will he’s bursting out completely to end AFO’s possession. Shigaraki says he doesn’t need OFA, doesn’t need to follow AFO’s goal; Shigaraki mocks AFO for thinking he could ever control everything. Shigaraki thinks of having friends. Shigaraki thinks of Spinner. All right. 

So I start marchin’ my way to the next chapter, and the next, and the next. I read and I say, “Noooo, that was nothing! That was Shigaraki still wanting to destroy everything, still misguided, still refusing to be saved and given a real friendship! This pseudo-connection can be broken, will be broken, make way for something better.” And when I reach Chapter 411, what do I find? There’s Shigaraki, saying he’s going to make the horizon Spinner is looking forward to. There is Shigaraki recalling Spinner's line in Chapter 239, where Spinner thinks Shigaraki’s horizon is the prettiest thing he had ever seen, and Shigaraki knows this, somehow.

And see, what Shigaraki can probably remember that he was the one to set Spinner on this path, when he spoke of the beautiful horizon he could create, in Chapter 222, because he wants to destroy everything.

Back then, Shigaraki hadn’t remember that he could not, would not forgive the world for rejecting him at his most desperate and helpless - but he knew he hated the world. Due to a betrayal of his very existence he could not yet name, Shigaraki felt like he could never feel happy again, because he had the lump of lead in his heart spewing out maddening rage, and before that he had once been an empty shell, completely hollow–the same way Spinner feels. The same words Spinner had screamed in his face just moments before. They had gotten along okay before that, they had talked about games, they had hung out, Spinner watching over his shoulder as he played a game he brought along. They were homeless and penniless, but gamers gotta game, and Spinner would hover during and Shigaraki would let him. But then the League went and killed the CRC and Spinner shut down the next morning, terse and skeptical and angry, remembering the discrimination he suffered, raging at Shigaraki at him for not doing anything, for not leading the League to a changed world. Asking him, where are we going with all this? Where are we going? Just another thing Shigaraki is witness to - like Twice, an insane guy with no place in society; like Toga, who wants an easier world to live in; now Spinner, who was made to accept he was a lizard freak.

Everything he witnessed in the world, up to that moment, and then ever since, a world that refuses and rejects and denies, a betrayal of their existence - he’s going to destroy it all. That’s where they’re going. He’s going to give his friends that changed world. 

He’s going to make that horizon that Spinner wants.

Half the manga is Spinaraki crumbs! This story is a goddamn love story!"

#don't take this seriously #hence the meme #spinaraki #Spinner #Shigaraki Tomura #nalslastworkingbraincell

[xiaq]

What was your relationship with HP in your childhood and what did it mean to you?

Warning: long answer is long.

I read the first HP book when I was 10. It felt like coming home. I was a deeply awkward, anxious kid dealing with bullying at school. I felt wrong and out of place and like everyone except for me had a manual for how they were supposed to navigate life; without the manual I was certain I would never catch up.

Books were a fucking haven. And THIS book. This book was about a kid that I empathized with so much. Except he's bullied and feels out of place because he IS out place. He's meant to be somewhere better, with people like him, who (for the most part) treat him kindly and with respect. And suddenly he's able to make friends and excel at his studies, and he settles into this fantastic world where he fits, and he's bright and likable and he has a purpose. It was just. God, it was everything I wanted for myself. AND there was magic and a train and a cool castle.

I think the first two books were already out when I started reading and I read the rest as they were released (re-reading them all multiple times in between). The friends I did manage to make also adored the books. I went from "playing Harry Potter" on the playground to writing fanfic to going to midnight book releases and meeting up with friends to see the movies as they started coming out. The final book came out shortly after I started high school, and the final movie came out when I was in college. I went to that midnight showing with a good portion of my friends and we all cried like babies at the end. Because it was over. This thing that had sustained us for so long. This thing that marked our childhoods.

You have to understand that Harry Potter-related expectation was a constant for the majority of my life. Since I was in elementary school there was always a new book to look forward to every year or so. And when the book series was completed, there was the next movie to look forward to. And then it was over (and with such an unsatisfying epilogue). That's when I really got involved in fandom (outside the fic I wrote amongst friends in a the group journal we kept and passed back and forth during studyhall, ofc). And fandom was the most accepting, glorious, place for an anxious queer kid just starting to come out of her shell as college afforded her the freedom to realize that maybe the very narrow (private Christian school k-12) concept of normalcy she'd been afforded until that point wasn't entirely accurate. And it continued to be glorious. I went to cons and got merch and put my House in my online dating profile and 3D printed custom HP cookie cutters and joked about having a HP themed wedding some day and my friends and I loved our nerdy little world that made us happy. Until Joanne ruined it.

And I'm honestly not trying to be dramatic, but when something has been so intrinsic to your life and your social circle and even, to an extent, part of your identify, it's fucking devastating when you find out the creator of that thing is a bigot and actively using her platform to target people you love. I stopped supporting her (buying books/movies/merch etc.) a couple years back, and I was content in embracing the concept of Death of the Author (or, as I've previously termed it, "we've killed the author and are now rifling through her stuff to keep the good bits and throw out the bad"). But now, in light of her continued escalations and the recent TV series announcement, and the conversations I've been having with friends (particularly Jewish and trans friends), I do mean that the very concept of Harry Potter is ruined for me. My, now decades, of nostalgia just...aren't enough to supersede what feels like an irresponsible attachment. Before, I wanted HP's social presence to live on in spite of and without JK Rowling. Now, it's becoming more and more apparent that the entertainment industry is going to squeeze as much money out of the HP world as possible which will, by extension, continue to give her a platform and money with which to actively support her shitty dogma.

So. Here I am, too sad to pick up my HP books for my annual summer re-read, or start the new fic a writer I love has just posted or open the document to work on my own HP fic. Which is not at all a condemnation of folks in fandom who ARE able to keep reading and creating and loving the world while thumbing their nose at her. I just can't right now.

So I'm stepping back and blocking the tags and ignoring the show and trying to let other worlds consume me.

Anyway. That's what it meant to me. Sorry for the tiny violin moment but your ask made me sit down and confront the fact that I'm dealing with an extremely weird sort of grief I haven't ever encountered before.

#I'll update SSS tomorrow and put it on haitus #sorry for folks following me for HP stuff #I'd love to come back some day #the tiniest of violins #jk rowling #harry potter #sigh

[ninjaneonleon]

Start

Prev

Memories of the Past

Leo knew he had messed up. He barely remembered making the deal, barely remembered pledging his soul to that damn demon crow thing, yet here he was. Stuck as a fucking bird in a tutu.

At least Donnie seemed more present.

Ever since Leo had woken up from that weird trance he’d been in while he was Leandro, weird name choice by the way, Donnie had seemed more aware and attentive to Leo than he had in years. There was no memory problems at the moment, Donnie recognised Leo and seemed determined to take care of him. Leo wasn’t complaining. It was better than getting his ass beat.

Donnie didn’t seem as attentive or aware of their brothers. Where on a good day he’d be equally receptive to all of them, it seemed like donnie only really recognised Leo. Either that or his worry was blinding him. He had sent them away as soon as Leo had properly woken up. Leo didn’t even have a chance to talk to them himself, not that he would have known what to say.

“I told you, Dee, I’m fine.” Leo waved donnie off with a small laugh as Donnie kept checking over Leo’s wings. Because yeah, that was a thing. They felt as connected to Leo as his tail did and while the fussing was nice, it was a little weird. “Just some bruises that’ll fade by tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, but you still got hurt!” Donnie wailed, clinging to Leo from behind. He was so much more emotive since becoming the Lake Guardian. “I hurt you! I’m not supposed to hurt you, Leo.”

“You hurt Leandro. You didn’t hurt Leo. You hurt the asshole who was pretending to be me.” It was a weak argument but it seemed to do the trick. Donnie relaxed and rested his head on Leo’s shell, just between his wings.

“I’ve hurt you enough since I’ve been here. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Leo’s expression softened. “You won’t.” Somehow, he knew that was true. Donnie would always recognise Leo now, even if Leo didn’t see Donnie as himself and instead as Othello. Why Othello, though?

“Hey Donnie? Why did the lake change your name?” Leo asked softly. “And why did the potion change mine? We have names, really cool names, so why did they get changed?”

“Leo… do you know what the lake is getting me to protect?” Donnie asked softly. Leo shook his head. No matter how many times Leo had asked in the past, Donnie had always glossed over it, point blank refused to talk about it or seemed to forget. With how aware he was now, it made sense that Donnie was more willing to share. “I’m protecting myself. My soul. And Odette’s. Normally the distinction is… hard. But since you’ve been here, I can remember it’s both of us down there, not just me.”

“Odette?” Leo blinked, then frowned. He knew that name. “Our sister?”

Donnie shook his head. “No. Well, not exactly.” He took a breath. “Odette was the last Lake Guardian, a mutant like us. And she was out here to protect her from her father.”

“The crow,” Leo whispered, his eyes going wide. “He wants her back. That’s why he wants the treasure.” His wings fluttered a little in discomfort. How could Leo have ever made a deal with someone like that? “And she’s my sister because he became my father.”

“He hated Odette and wants to destroy her even now.” Donnie nodded. “The Lake is here to protect her, a gift from her mother. And now, so am I. The magic saw me and thought I was her.” He laughed weakly. “I’m a mutant, I have mystic powers and—“

“And you’re a dancer.” Leo finished. “You basically told the Lake you were her. But wait, if the Lake is protecting her, where is she?”

“Her body is gone, her soul is still here. She lived a long time ago.” Donnie sounded sad. Because it was sad. Leo thought that Odette was someone he loved, he remembered her as his sister. They danced together, right? In the foyer of the castle. Danced for mother and father.

Leo groaned. No, that wasn’t right.

“Donnie, I think I’m remembering things I shouldn’t.” They didn’t have a mother. And Leo’s sister was a human called April, not another swan. Was he a swan? No, he was a cro- a turtle. “My head hurts. I don’t understand.”

“Leo, what do you remember about the potion you took?”

What did he remember. “It was… blue. Blue and glowing. And when I took it… it was like I was in the sky, but at the same time I was safe, deep underground.” God, it sounded like he had a drug trip or something. “And then I started to dance when music started and I knew all the moves and their names and it felt so—“

“Natural. Like you were remembering something you already knew.” Donnie finished with a sigh. He shook his head. “Leo, I don’t think it was just a potion you took.” Leo looked up at Donnie then, fear clawing at his chest. “I think it was a potion mixed with a soul.”

“What?! Whose soul?!” Leo screeched.

“Odille. Odette’s twin sister.”

So yeah! Part 5 is a thing now! I might even make a master post this thing is getting way bigger than I thought it would. Also I learned a bit more formatting it looks a little nicer. A little.

Edit: Part 6 is now a thing!

Swanatello belongs to @tangledinink

Crownardo belongs to @dryad-druid

You guys make me happy with your creativity ❤️

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #fic writing #crownardo #swanatello

[buckyownsmylife]

Ulysses - Andy Barber smut

The one where Andy wants you to overcome your submissiveness so you can humiliate his wife

Warnings: smut, humiliation of a third-party (Laurie), cuckolding/cheating - they really thread the line there, forced sexual acts on the reader and I might be forgetting some so read at your own caution

A/N: This might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I hope you enjoy it.

Andy’s P.O.V.

“You’ll never believe what happened.” I knew she wasn’t really paying attention. Not when my hands were already sneaking underneath her tight skirt, fingers incapable of staying still whenever we were both alone in my office.

Sometimes, even when we weren’t. My men were the people I trusted the most in life, and I knew they all wanted her. It was hard not to.

So I had to make sure they knew who she belonged to. It wasn’t that hard to convince her, submissive as she was. She liked to follow my every whim, and she *always spread her legs for me.

After that little show we put out, I never had to worry about any of them even thinking about touching her again. They knew better. And I knew that she was perfect for me.

Which is why I wasn’t scared to tell her what I found out the night before.

“W-What happened?” She managed to ask despite my focused sucking on her sweet spot at the crook of her neck, and the way my fingers meticulously explored her insides.

“I had to fuck Laurie last night.” I felt her entire body freeze, despite her best efforts to pretend not to be affected. But I knew her too well, and my chuckle denounced just that.

“You know I have to give it to her at least once in a while, baby. She *is my wife, after all.” At the reminder - and a swipe of my thumb over her clit that sent her mewling, she finally nodded, muscles relaxing once again as she allowed me to continue my story.

“Anyway, because you’ve got me fucking obsessed with this pussy…” I bent her over my desk, delighting myself at her little giggles as I worked on getting rid of my pants to shove myself inside of her. “I haven’t been able to cum with her without thinking about you. Not since we met.”

The moan she released upon feeling my cock stretching her tight cunt always got to me, making me hiss at the feeling. “That’s right. So it was really only a matter of time until it happened…” 

I knew she’d tense up again, confusion taking over her mind, that would jump to the worst conclusions, so I worked on pulling her against my chest by her hair, nuzzling the shell of her ear from behind.

“I screamed your name as I came inside of her, sweetheart. And you know how jealous she’s always been of you…” I reminded her, rubbing her clit with my free hand. “There was no way she’d forget your name… I thought she would slap me, I thought that scam of a marriage would be finally over. But you know what happened?”

She shook her head as best as she could, considering the grip I had of her hair, and so I continued, “She clenched so fucking hard, angel. For once, that old, used cunt of hers felt tight again. Of course, nowhere near as tight as this one I’m fucking now… But at least fuckable.”

I shoved her against the wood once more, loving how she moaned in pleasure at the pain, unlike my wife, who had to be treated like a fucking porcelain doll.

“I couldn’t believe it,” I kept going. “There it was, the one thing that could make Laurie interesting in my mind…She was clearly into the fact that I’d been thinking about you while I was balls deep inside of her.”

“So I thought… Better take advantage of that fact.” She moaned even more loudly as I sped up my movements, both of my member and thumb that still played with her. “So you know what I did?” I questioned, waiting for her tentative ‘nu-uh’ just to hear how wrecked she was.

“I told her all about us.” I felt as the shock got to her. Her cunt clenched around me - much like my wife’s had - and she came for the first time that morning, right as I was just starting to warm up. “I told her about how I’ve been fucking the virginal little intern, ever since she first started. I told her about all the times she called me and you had my cock inside your mouth, or even the time she came here and I’d just emptied myself inside of your pussy.”

Her nails were gripping the wood but the sound didn’t feel grating. If anything, it just added to the fire inside my belly, the arousal from the situation getting to me more and more after each second.

“All that suspicion, all that jealousy… And for what? She couldn’t stop her worst nightmare from happening anyway,” I mocked. “I already had a taste of your pussy and she had to hear it from my own lips as I fucked her, learn how I’d never let you go. How I’d never stop fucking you for her.”

Bottoming out inside of her, I held myself there as I came, huffing in delight at the feeling of filling her up. We were both panting as I tried to catch my breath before I turned her around and sat her on the desk where I worked every day, loving how it always smelled like her after I’d fucked her on it.

“So now, I want her to watch it, baby.” That was my master plan. That was what I was hoping to achieve by fucking my lover dumb as I told her about the incident, my cock unable to soften at the possibility of my biggest dream coming true.

“I want to hurt her. I want her to see how you’re the only one for me.” I only had to nuzzle her neck for a few seconds before I felt her hand curling around my nape.

“Let’s do it.”

Laurie’s P.O.V.

“Take off your clothes, sweetheart.” I bit down on my lip as I watched her do as he said, slowly undressing herself with her eyes focused on my husband as every inch of perfect skin became exposed to him.

Oh, to be that young again.

How could I ever really compete? Her breasts were perkier, her skin, smoother. She was very clearly eager to please him, and I had no doubt she’d do whatever it took to get the biggest mobster in the country pussy-whipped for her.

I bet she even let him put it in her ass.

I was forced to watch her from a chair by the foot of the bed, not even allowed the decency to hide in the shadows by the corner of the room. Oh, no. They wanted me close. They wanted me *right there, seeing and hearing and *smelling everything, as my husband fucked his intern right on our marital bed.

He shoved her on the mattress as soon as she was naked, and I understood in the few seconds it took for him to climb on it behind her and slam his cock inside her cunt that I’d never be able to do what she did for him.

I’d never be able to take him like that: fast, rough, and animalistic. It was hypnotizing almost, the way his hips met her ass, how he pulled her back by her hair and didn’t stop even after she was crying.

I could see she didn’t want him to, anyway.

“Keep your fucking eyes open,” he growled in the millisecond my lids dropped and that was when I realized what I was doing. I was humping my own hand, having decided to sit on them earlier because I didn’t know what else to do, and when he noticed it too, he laughed. 

“Look at her,” he ordered her now, forcing her head towards my chair so she’d see my humiliation first hand. “See how pathetic she is? Getting off to another woman being fucked by her man?”

She nodded, although I could see some hesitancy in her features. I had no doubt that hesitancy would leave her in seconds, since the hazy cloud of arousal was taking over her eyes quickly - the same one that had been gradually filling my mind in order to prevent me from going insane.

“Tell her,” he incited. “Tell her how pathetic she is. She deserves to know. She deserves to hear it from the woman who has kept her husband happy when she failed to do so.”

A sob tore from my chest unexpectedly, right as her mouth fell open and her own eyes closed. It seemed as if my husband had reached that spot inside of her - the one he had never bothered to look for in me, and just as I thought I might get out of this alive, she opened her eyes, and I knew.

There was no hesitancy anymore.

“You’re pathetic,” she taunted. “You can’t keep him satisfied, so that’s my job from now on,” I was warned. “You can’t have his cock anymore. It’s mine.”

In the following weeks, I would quickly learn that was truly what my new reality would come to be.

“Oh, fuck,” Andy whispered once I had my lips wrapped around his member, and my head snapped up to meet his eyes, thinking I was finally doing something right, but he was staring at his phone. “Look what she just sent me.”

He forced the phone in front of me while I still had a mouth full of cock, and when I tried to pull away, he kept his hand on the back of my head.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked. “You stay right there and be a good cocksleeve. She’s visiting her parents this week so she allowed me to use you as I saw fit. It’s not the same as her holes, but you’ll have to do.”

I had to suck him off while he watched the video she sent, and once he came in my mouth, I thought I’d be free, but no. He didn’t even let me pull away to swallow.

“Here, watch this.” It was a video of one of their encounters, the camera showing the place where Andy and her were connected as he railed her. “It was so great to fuck her in the bathroom in the middle of our anniversary dinner… She looked so fucking sexy in this dress, don’t you think so?”

It was hard to fight off the tears with his cum seeping from my lips while I still tried to keep them pressed tightly around his member, so I stopped struggling against it and just gave into it.

“There you go…” He preened as he recognized the submission in my eyes. “You know she fucks me better than you ever could, honey. There’s no way you will ever measure up to her.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

“What do you want?” Perhaps most men would find that being interrupted mid-fuck by your phone was a turn-off, especially if it was your wife who was calling you. I was one of the fortunate few who didn’t feel like it. “I’m kinda busy.”

Having realized who it was that I was speaking to, Y/N’s moans just got louder, making me smirk as I heard Laurie’s sharp inhale of breath at the other end of the line.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, I guess… I guess I just wanted to…” More cream flooded from my lover’s cunt, and with a groan, I cut my wife off.

“Oh, God!” It was hard to pay attention to anything else when there was such a delicious pussy to fuck, but when that thing was your annoying, prude wife, it was even harder to find two fucks to give about whatever it was that she had to say. “Shut the fuck up for a second, hm?” I ordered. “Listen to this.”

Lowering the phone to the place where Y/N and I were joined, I smirked as I knew the sounds of her sopping wet pussy would be easily captured by my wife at the other side of the line. 

“Go to sleep,” I commanded once I was tired of taunting her. “I’ll spend the night at her apartment.” I already knew that was what Laurie was calling to know, anyway. “I hope you dream about what I’ll be doing to her.”

Laurie’s P.O.V.

I had hoped being his date to this work event would mean at least one night of make-believe. A confirmation that my role in his life still existed, even if it was but a title.

But I seemed to have gotten all of them wrong because the second we arrived, it was clear I wasn’t his date at all. While he paraded her around the room, introducing his secretary-turned-lover to some of the most powerful men in the city, I was forced to stand in the sidelines, feeling judged by even the trophy wives, since I knew I didn’t have a place with them anymore.

But it got even worse once the lights were dimmed and people started dancing.

It was like I wasn’t even there, and I was sure by now that he had forgotten all about me as he twirled her around the room, pressing kisses down her throat before he captured her lips on his and made out with her in front of everyone.

It should have been embarrassing to see a man his age behave in such a way. Lord knows I would have never let him go past a quick press of lips if I were the one in his arms, but as his fingers slipped underneath her dress, it made sense why she had replaced me so easily.

The burn of humiliation was delicious, as hard as it was for me to accept it. The more people stared, the wetter I got, and so I fought back against the urge to hide, forcing myself to stand tall as I watched my husband and his lover play with each other in the middle of a crowded room.

Andy’s P.O.V.

I groaned in dissatisfaction once I heard the knocks on my office door. “What?” I asked, not even bothering to lift my head to look at my wife as she slipped into the room to find me lapping up Y/N’s wetness. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

She fidgeted, changing her weight from one foot to the other while I kept on sucking my beloved’s little clit, relishing in the adorable moans she released, uncaring about Laurie’s presence in the room.

Oh, how far we’d come. Long gone were the days where my angel would complain about being this exposed, cry because of the guilt I was provoking in her. Now, she relished in the pleasure I gave her, even when my wife was around to witness it.

But she was still the sweetest angel I’d ever seen. The only one to tug at the hardened heartstrings I’d believed inexistent before she came around.

If Laurie was within listening distance, however… Y/N became uncaring and egoistical, completely focused on her pleasure and on me.

I was the happiest I’d ever been.

“… It’s important,” Laurie insisted, to which I groaned, at last lifting my head from my lover’s pussy and glancing up at my wife with a inquisitive look.

“Well, then… speak!” I nodded, letting her know she had at least a bit of my attention, but the light caught on the juices spread over Y/N’s lower half and I growled.

“I’m not gonna stop eating her cunt,” I warned, already leaning down to lick a stripe up her pussy lips again. “I’m fucking starving.”

It was much more rewarding to listen to my beloved’s moans as they floated freely in the room, but I tried to hear what Laurie had to say, I really did.

Was it really my fault she gave up and left the room without saying anything else?

Laurie’s P.O.V.

He never liked to eat my pussy.

I knew he thought I was shrewed and prudish, but no one had ever taught me about sex before I got married. And then, once it was time for our wedding night, he just assumed I would know what to do.

But I didn’t. It was obviously Andy did, though. And so I expected to feel something, *anything that would finally justify how lust-crazy my friends would act in the stories they’d tell me between wine glasses.

I wanted to have one of those. But the nerves got in my way that evening, and the tension wouldn’t leave my muscles. It hurt more than anything else, and I definitely didn’t get to cum.

But then again… he didn’t eat my pussy that evening, and none of the other times when he’d come home and actually bother to fulfill his marital duties.

But I understood. I probably didn’t taste as great as hers.

God, she looked incredible. I couldn’t remember the last time he touched me or even kissed me. He didn’t want to have sex with me anymore and it *hurt. He was always with her or talking about her or thinking of her and the deprivation was slowly making me desperate.

“Aren’t you coming to bed?” I asked the first night he bothered to come home for the evening, even though he’d locked himself in his office the second he closed the entrance door behind him.

He didn’t even lift his head as I made my way into the office, obviously wanting to be noticed in my completely nude appearance, but at the same time sneaking in as if I was scared he’d suddenly yell at me, like a father does to a naughty kid who can’t take no for an answer.

“I’m working,” was all he said, never taking his eyes off of his computer, and the complete lack of enthusiasm shocked me, my hands falling at the sides of my body. All I had wanted was a little bit of his attention, but it didn’t seem like I was worthy of even that.

“I want you,” I forced myself to voice, perhaps believing somehow that he just hadn’t noticed my intentions. “C’mon, Andy…” Trying to be seductive, I approached him cautiously, hands rubbing up his arms as I pressed my breasts on his back. “I’ll let you do anything to me.”

I shouldn’t have even tried. My whispered words were thrown back at me as he mocked me, “I don’t want to do anything to you. Go to bed, Laurie.”

Tears in my eyes, I gathered what was left of my dignity and did as he said, slipping into the bed where he hadn’t laid in months, where I finally allowed myself to cry.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Oh, sorry…” Somewhere deep inside my mind, a part of me felt bad for Laurie. This was her house, after all - or at least, the one where she lived with her husband. And here was her husband, balls deep inside of me, fucking my pussy like he’d been doing for the last four hours while she shopped, right on the bed they used to share together.

Then again… it’d been four hours. I was too fucked out to care.

“Oh, good, you’re here.” Before either of us had the time to process Andy’s words, he’d pulled me by my hair so I’d look straight into his wife’s eyes where he stood, frozen on the threshold of their bedroom. “I want you to look into her eyes, Laurie. Look into her eyes as I cum inside of her. I want you to witness the moment I put my child inside of her.”

My knees buckled as I moaned at the harshness of it all, but Andy kept me up. My nails tore up the sheets of the bed, and still, he didn’t ease up. “I took her to the doctor earlier today,” he informed his wife - voice so casual, if it weren’t for the pants that interrupted his speech, no one would ever consider he’d been fucking me for the better part of the morning. “Took that lousy chip I paid to have it implanted in the first place.”

I saw the heartbreak in her eyes, the second she processed the information. I knew all about how Andy had told her time and time again he’d never have kids. It was something she had to give up in order to marry him - but what he didn’t mention was that he simply didn’t want them with *her.

I moaned when she started to scream, and he pounded me even harder the louder she got. The second her knees gave out and she fell to the floor, he came inside of me, cementing the new future he’d painted for the three of us.

Hissing as he pulled out of me, he barely paid any attention to the broken woman on the floor - the woman who was supposed to be his wife. Instead, he turned me around and spread my legs, a look of pride in his face as he saw the mess he left.

“If you’re so scared of her getting pregnant,” he spoke to her, “maybe you should eat my cum out of her.” I froze, uncertain as to my own feelings about his proposition, but in the end, I knew I’d just go with whatever Andy had in mind for us.

It was no accident that I fell in love with him. Part of me liked his cruelty, and I particularly loved that it was never used against me. So when he shoved Laurie’s head against my pussy, I just laid back and enjoyed the show.

“That’s right,” he teased, ever the torturer. “If you don’t want my mistress to get pregnant, you better eat my cum out of her.”

Laurie’s P.O.V.

It didn’t work.

She got pregnant, and if I thought my life was terrible, it became a living nightmare. Just like that, it was like I didn’t even exist. She moved in and then she was everywhere all the time. I had to watch as life grew inside of her, and she took over my life.

It was like she never wore underwear, either - something that seemed to please my husband endlessly. After being kicked out of my bedroom, I’d be constantly woken up by the sounds of their frantic fucking, reminding me of what was my place in the house now.

But that was alright. This is where I belonged now. Hearing him make her cum over and over again, and getting some pathetic and dirty release from it after they’d gone to bed. That’s all a little cuckolder wife was good for.

#my fics #andy barber smut #andy barber #smut #andy barber x reader #andy barber reader #andy barber reader insert #andy barber reader inserts #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fic #andy barber fics #andy barber imagine

[tmntkiseki]

I'd say it's been probably... almost two months since I became an active participant in the TMNT 2003 fandom? And while there have been some ups and downs, overall I have been enjoying myself.

The biggest adjustment is the size. Most of my previous fandoms have been relatively niche JRPGs and while TMNT 2003 isn't the most popular animated TMNT iteration, the fanbase is still much, much larger than what I'm used to. More people talking, more fanart and fanfic being posted, and definitely a lot more, ah, discourse. Not that discourse wasn't a thing in my smaller fandoms, but I stumble across it quite a bit when browsing tags, and there's also a lot more variety to it as well. It really is weird what kind of stuff people will get their underwear up in a bunch about.

As far as interacting with other fans goes, I try to keep a relatively open mind when discussing the show and characters. I know some people can be very trigger happy with their block buttons, but I try not to block people simply because they disagree with me/I disagree with them. If I were to block someone on the grounds of their opinion being different from mine, it would be because they were being aggressive of how right they are while I'm completely wrong to the point of literal harassment over whatever is being discussed. Which, you know, fortunately I haven't had to do something like that yet. Most people have been very kind to me thus far, even when there were disagreements.

I am pretty happy with how things are turning out, even though it was a bit rough in the beginning when I didn't know anyone and felt like an outsider. A lot of people have expressed thanks for the fact I've been posting the official model sheets and concept art from the show, and as long as people still want them, I'll keep uploading them until I've run out because hey, I can personally confirm that the turtles are fucking hard to draw, and even the lowest quality reference can do wonders. This is also the fandom that inspired me to dabble in video editing and gif making; still not the best at either of them, but much like art, it's a learning process and the most important thing is that I'm having fun. My brain hasn't been this entertained learning new techniques for making things in a while, even if it can be frustrating at times. (Those damn shells are the worst to draw, man.)

So.... Yeah. All I can really say at this point is thank you to everyone for making this fanbase experience enjoyable so far. I'll probably be around for a while yet!

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3

[talisidekick]

My life is on Tumblr. Not all of it, but enough. Why? Because I finally broke out of the illusion I made for myself growing up. I felt like a monster because thats how I was told to feel for feeling what I felt, and so I lied to myself until I believed I didn't feel the things I did. It was a self-made, bunker thick, mysoginistic and misandristic shell of toxicity that made me miserable for the purposes of others convenience in upholding a fantasy world of simplicity. Upon rediscovering truth and having to face all I'd lost in making unappreciated sacrifices, I started to learn how to reclaim and rebuild myself. I want to show people it's okay to be yourself. That being transgender doesn't make you inherently evil. That I, at the end of today, am human, a person, like any of you.

I've shared my thoughts, my frustrations, some of my joys, my hardships. I've made statement pieces, analysis, and even science posts. I've, on occasion, written papers on here with citations/links to my sources. I've put a sizeable amount of time and energy into letting everyone on this site into my life in some small way to combat the idolization and demonization political actors on the local, provinicial/state/territorial, national, and global stage are doing to transgender people. Because the term "transgender" is not synonymous, a thesaurical equivalent, or a replacement for the words "predator", "pedophile", "rapist", "adulterer", "monster", "assaulter", "victim", or "survivor" to name a few. It means "to identify as any gender other than the one assigned at birth". Thats it. Someone could literally decide "I'm just not the gender the doctor said I was" or "I'm not just what the doctor said I was" or " I'm just me" and that's enough. Those are people you know, love, talked to, interact with, laughed with, but maybe also argued with, had a heated discussion with, fought with, or got mad at in traffic for not using a turn signal to change lanes (we've all done it by mistake). Transgender people are just people. Capable of making mistakes, helping others, needing help, and fucking up like everyone else. We all make bad calls, and stupid decisions. We learn, we correct, we hold eachother accountable.

Logging in today to see a long-standing transgender persons blog getting nuked for the either the stupidest idle threat ever made (or so thats the official reason by the Tumblr CEO) or for simply being transgender (as other and numerous members of the public claim) has made me personally a bit wary. The way I see it, it's both. An idle threat was made to a Tumblr executive and because of the prejudice thats become common place world wide, Tumblrs CEO felt vindicated in going to the excessive lengths of full account deactivation on a transgender persons blog. It's absolutely expected to have a zero-tolerance policy on issuing threats, especially to staff. It's not okay in an online forum of supposed neutrality to utterly silence a person completely without fair warning of a Terms of Service failure and a chance to remove, redact, or re-edit a response. We ALL get heated, even myself, and do stupid things in a reactionary moment of passion. What the issue here is, is the disproportionate response. Given I and numerous other transgender people have recieved threats, those on our very lives in fact, which have gone completely ignored, why is there suddenly a zero-tolerance immediate ban policy on a threat that was, in comparison, the kind of insult you'd expect from a grumpy five-year-old?

I see why this is blowing up, because it's a clear display of power privilege. And rather than going through the established review path, as far as anyone can tell, this was a direct response. This sends, whether intentional or not, a clear message: if you're transgender, you're on thin ice here. And it's not just transgender people and queer and cisgender allies who are getting the message. The transphobes, the so called 'gender critical' crowd, the terfs, are seeing it too. That is why I'm calling for Predesterone's account, all associate blogs, be reinstantiated.

The constant misgendering, libel, misinformation, verbal violence, abuse, and conjecture transgender people of all identities face on this site without any reprocussion to those responsible has, for a long while, helped set a clear standard that users of this platform are afforded the privilege of a degree of disrespect towards marginalized groups and minorities. Ableists attack the disabled and neurodivergent, Nazi's attack Jews, Transphobes attack Transgender people, homophobes attack the gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, and racists attack people of colour with -very- little the victims of such hate can do to make it stop. The bigots know this. And this ... this is going to make it worse. Bigots are going to try and instigate harsh responses from minority groups with the intent of forcing queer people and other minority groups off Tumblr. It has already begun in the reblogs of several posts like this one directed at transgender people. Predestrogen is already getting misgendered and disrespected outside the scope of the issue. Conjecture is already being made enmasse.

I'm on Tumblr because Reddit and Twitter were too unsafe. I'm not on any other blogging sites because Tumblr has, for the moment, a supportive queer community. That can change, given this whole situation has been done in such a way that it's being interpreted on all sides as an attack on transgender people.

Tumblr has no obligation to listen to me or others, but Tumblr has always struggled to get by, and I have to ask: is one persons dumb 'threat' really the spark you want to make to get people to leave. Is becoming a truly unprofitable cesspit and hate-haven like Twitter what's desired? Because this is the exact kind of rallying cry to make if you do.

I'm adding my voice to this. Bring back predesterone, this response is out of proportion. No, the CEO does not deserve to be threatened to have hammers thrown at his car until it explodes, or whatever. The point has been made: DO NOT THREATEN TUMBLR STAFF. But neither does a long-standing account deserve to be wiped off the face of Tumblr permanently for a blog post that is so benign compared to what the average transgender site user has to deal with on a regular basis with no recourse. Someone threatened to actually shoot me, kill me, if I was walking down the sidewalk and they saw me, and that post is still up and so is the account despite being reported. It's been 2-3 months or more. If I'm expected to stomach that, you can stomach someone saying they'll throw hammers at your car from a person who in all likelyhood is paying so much into transition she can't afford to buy one tiny kids-sized hammer. The person who threatened me actually openly admits to already owning guns.

#predesterone #trans #transgender #talisidekick #talisidekick things #2slgbtqia+ #lgbtqia+ #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #Love Every Trans Woman You Meet Before It's Too Late

[notinthislife50]

Chapter 26

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

It had been almost six months since your return from Wakanda. Initially, you had been so overwhelmed when you first came back to the tower, you retreated into your shell. You had asked the guys for some space to collect your thoughts, and with heavy hearts, they had agreed.

Every morning at 5 AM, you found solace on the treadmill, pounding out your miles. It had become your daily routine since your return. You cherished the solitude, which allowed you to blast music and sing along to the lyrics, using it as a form of stress relief.

However, one morning, as you belted out the lyrics to a Pink song, Bucky unexpectedly walked in. He cleared his throat to signal his presence.

Your head snapped in his direction. "What are you doing here?" you exclaimed.

"What, not happy to see me?" he teased with a smile.

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean, no one's usually up this early," you stammered, your face turning slightly red.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd try to wear myself out."

As Bucky wrapped his wrists, you continued running. Occasionally, you unconsciously sang along to the music but caught yourself and fell silent.

"Hey, punk!" Bucky called out, causing you to look at him, thinking he was addressing you. However, his gaze was fixed on the door. "You're late," he continued.

"Sorry, Buck," Steve responded, not meeting your eyes "Had to make a detour to the lab."

The guys gloved up and began sparring. You tried to focus on your run, ignoring the emotions they stirred within you. But soon, they both ungloved and took treadmills on either side of you.

You felt their eyes on you and your agitation grew, and you turned to Bucky on your right. "Can I help you, James?" you glared.

"Not at all, doll. I'm just running here," Bucky replied casually.

You turned to Steve. "Steven?"

"Oh, no, princess. I'm just enjoying the show," he smirked.

"Show?" you questioned.

"Did you usually run down here in just shorts and a bra?" Steve asked, provoking your anger.

"Well, actually, Rogers, I do," you retorted angrily. "Because no one is ever here at this time."

"You know, doll, there are other ways we could make you sweat like this," Bucky seductively suggested.

You stopped the treadmill and grabbed your towel, heading for the gym door.

"Focus, Y/N, focus. Don't give in," you told yourself.

Reaching for the gym door, you tried to open it but found it stuck. You tugged at it repeatedly.

"What the fuck?" you exclaimed.

"Language, princess," Steve chided from behind you, causing you to jump and face them.

"See, doll, you asked for space, and it's been six months. Steve and I think that's enough space," Bucky stated.

"So, here's what's going to happen, princess," Steve said, placing his hand beside your head, effectively pinning you against the door. "We'll finish up here, take a shower, and then talk. Okay?" Steve said lowly, causing you to clench your thighs together.

"Okay, give me 30 minutes, and then we can talk," you agreed.

"Y/N, when I say we're going to take a shower, I mean all of us together. Then we'll talk," Steve clarified.

"Is that okay, doll?" Bucky whispered in your ear, standing beside you.

You looked down at your feet and nodded slowly.

"Use your words, princess," Steve gently urged, tilting your chin to meet his gaze.

"Yes, Steve, it's okay," your voice trembled.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want," Steve assured you, leaning down to kiss you.

You closed your eyes and couldn't help but shed tears.

"Hey, hey, hey, Y/N, you don't have to do anything. If you want us to leave you alone, we will," Steve tried to comfort you, fearing he had crossed a line.

"No, I just missed you both, that's all," you smiled up at him.

He returned the smile and enveloped you in a warm hug.

"We missed you too," Bucky said, rubbing your back affectionately.

@kandis-mom @silverfire475 @rivthejellyfish @cjand10 @ladywhistledownx @marceline-vampire-queen-blog @imjustanotherperson @panhoeofmanyfandoms @krissydclayton93 @ambersmommy2009 @calwitch @randomranda @clio-hook @drdbnkl2008 @vicmc624 @selenestar78 @itsfrwithia

#marvel fanfic #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel #marvel y/n #marvel masterlist #marvel fic #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #marvel reader insert #marvel x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes masterlist #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes x you #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky imagine