#kaz x y/n

[byeol-ssi]

nothing more, nothing less

Kaz Brekker was acquainted with different monsters. Those wrapped in expensive silk and bathed in sickening perfume. Those who spouted beautiful lies, enticing unwitting men into their dens. Those with hands stained crimson, preying on children and fools alike. His reflection on a mirror.

But the green-eyed beast proved to be a terrifying match.

Or, Kaz gets jealous.

✦ kaz brekker x gn!reader | grishaverse

✦ tags: jealous kaz, lieutenant!reader, (kind of?) enemies to lovers, set sometime after the events of crooked kingdom

"Brekker."

"Darling," KAZ drawled without looking up at your arrival, his tone more mocking than affectionate. "You're two bells late. Do you have the—"

A roll of parchment zipped through the air, landing in the middle of his desk with startling accuracy and ruining the neatly arranged blueprints spread atop it.

"I told you to quit calling me that," you muttered darkly. "One of these days, I'll really cut off your tongue."

He huffed, concealing his amusement. He enjoyed calling you all sorts of endearments after discovering how easily they riled you up.

There are times when Kaz allowed himself to feel, to act, like a boy again. Reconcile with a distant past, one that echoed Jordie's voice and carried the smell of fresh grass.

This was one of them. Similar to a child, Kaz reveled in your attention. Regardless if they came as threats, insults, or downright disdain.

He'd swallow a bullet first than ever admit it, though.

"How terrifying," he said, unfazed, and made swift work of straightening out the floor plan you brought him.

Silence fell, interrupted only by the soft shuffling of papers. From the corner of his eye, he noticed you shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Normally, Kaz would come up with some sort of excuse to make you stay, but it seemed that something was on your mind.

And so, he waited.

You cleared your throat. "Do you need anything else?"

No, but thank you. You did well. Please, get some rest, his thoughts supplied. He ignored them. Instead, he simply settled on, "No."

His movements stilled. The question was unusual, especially coming from you.

"Nothing more, nothing less," you had once told him, seated on the ledge of a stadwatch tower that overlooked Ketterdam's shores. He'd nodded in agreement back then, mesmerized by the early sunlight that caressed your face.

You lived by the old saying for as long as Kaz has known you. After all, when you grew up in the Barrel, you'd learned early on that acting out of the goodness of one's heart only left a person broken. Penniless. Or worse, dead.

As such, you weren't the type to seek additional assignments without an offer beforehand. The fact that you had gone out of your way to ask was... suspicious.

His eyes finally flicked to yours. He could never afford to look at you for too long, as it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to stop once he started.

He cocked his head to the side and searched your gaze. "Why?"

You blinked, clearly caught off guard. He rarely indulged you in idle conversation or pried into your affairs.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Because despite everything you've been through together, this was the nature of your relationship too. Neither of you tried to change it, even after every scar he unraveled and laid at your feet.

Even after numerous nights spent confined in his office, shoulders almost, but never brushing one another as you pored over schemes for hours.

Even after repeatedly saving each other's necks and during the intimate silences that followed when the adrenaline wore off. Moments taut with charged tension, heaving breaths, and unspoken truths.

"I've got plans," you explained rather cryptically.

"Plans? Has someone else hired you for a job? I hope you don't forget that you belong to—"

"No, someone asked me out on a date."

Me, insisted the voice in his head, rich with desperation. You belong to me.

Kaz scoffed in disbelief. "A date? In Ketterdam?"

Fear clawed its way up his throat, determined to make itself known. It warred with another emotion he was too proud to name.

This... feeling was absurd. Sentimental. Kaz was no stranger to loss.

The seas granted Inej her freedom. A new chapter awaited Jesper and Wylan. Nina stumbled upon a second chance at love. Matthias found peace.

Yet, deep down, each farewell left him a little more empty than the last.

You were bound to Ketterdam only by virtue of being the Dreg's sole lieutenant. In truth, nothing else was preventing you from leaving.

Leaving him.

After promoting you, a tiny seed of guilt buried itself in his cold, wretched heart when he realized he held you back. That he never gave you the opportunity to pursue your dreams. Your position forced you to assume several roles, to fill in the shoes the others had given up.

But his greed outweighed his guilt and Kaz was a selfish man indeed.

The mere idea that someone could whisk you away from him brought forth a hateful bitterness from within.

"Where is the unfortunate fellow taking you?" he asked, keeping his voice deceptively calm.

You narrowed your eyes, ignoring the jibe. "It's a quaint little bar called 'none of your business.'"

Nothing more, nothing less. The phrase taunted him now. The green-eyed monster inside him rattled his ribcage ferociously, driving him to boast.

He curled his fingers around the desk's edge tightly. "Funny. I run the entirety of the Barrel, and I don't recall an establishment operating under that name."

"I'll have you know that he actually owns the place he's bringing me to," you snapped defensively.

Good, good. More information.

"And how long have you known each other?"

You shrugged. "A few weeks."

The answer relieved him somewhat. His possessiveness ebbs, its rhythm steady, before it swelled again, rising with the current of his emotions. One should always be more sure of everything. He'd learned that the hard way.

"And he's aware of who you truly are?" Kaz pressed on. "Of what you do?"

There were only a handful of possibilities. The person could have ulterior motives for approaching you. It wasn't unlikely, considering your power was only second to his.

Perhaps it was a spiteful soul he'd wronged, plotting to take advantage of you and get revenge on him.

On the other hand, there was also a chance that they weren't privy to your true identity. He couldn't blame anyone for wanting you but it was common knowledge whispered in the streets that Kaz Brekker was a man unwilling to share.

Anyone who didn't heed that advice and went against it anyway was just recklessly bold. Or stupid. The Barrel never seemed to run out of those.

This time, you broke away from his gaze. "It doesn't matter." You sniffed, feigning indifference.

The person didn't know then, he surmised. You probably met him during one of your undercover assignments, disguised and masquerading around with an alias.

Sensing his disapproval, you attempted to defend your date-to-be by adding, "He's kind. Sweet. Honest."

Everything he was not. The words, sharp as glass, ripped him apart. Crushed him with an overwhelming weight of sorrow.

"It seems naive of you to form an impression of him in such a short amount of time," he said through gritted teeth.

Pretending as if he didn't care should have been easy for him. Right now, all his years of experience in perfecting that charade were useless.

You rolled your eyes. "Not everyone is cynical and distrusting of the world like you. People can be good, Brekker."

And you deserved everything good and more. Better people could love you, he knew.

Someone who would not flinch every time you drew near. Someone who would freely kiss away your every fear.

Kaz had survived gunshots. Knife wounds. Sickness, nightmares, and grief. But the very thought of someone else soaking in your warmth was an ache he could not bear.

He felt the words scorching his tongue, his demons voicing them with unbridled cruelty. "There is a difference between being cautious and acting like a love-sick fool!"

Your eyes widened in shock, hardening in anger a second later; then they softened with disappointment, and all Kaz could see was the reflection of himself, a frenzied animal. A blown fuse. Inhumanely hollow.

He opened his mouth to speak, beg for your forgiveness, but you had already turned and walked away.

"I'll come back when you aren't hissing at me like a wet cat," you said, slamming the door behind you.

Kaz clenched his gloved hands into aching fists and hung his head, trying not to think of how jealous the idea of another man made him.

He wasn't too late. Dealing with his emotions was uncharted territory for him but scheming came as effortlessly as he breathed.

Kaz never lost a fight and he wasn't about to start now. Even if he needed to play dirty. His greed outweighed his guilt and he wasn't called Dirtyhands for nothing.

"Brekker!"

Kaz had just finished speaking with another gang member, Roeder, when he heard the heavy stomp of your footsteps, followed by the frustrated yell of his name. You appeared on the stairway landing soon after, rage thundering in your wake.

"You're dismissed." Kaz waved to Roeder. His eyes shifted to you momentarily and cast Kaz a wary glance. Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, he scurried off, slipping past the both of you.

Kaz began to ascend the stairs, you trailing behind him. He could sense that you were shooting daggers at the back of his head, probably cursing him out silently.

"You're back early," he finally said once you entered his office. He circled back to the same place you'd left him hours earlier and sat in his chair. "How'd the date go?"

You stormed closer, wedging yourself between him and the desk, stopping him from hiding behind the pretense of work.

"You know exactly how it went," you snarled.

In spite of your anger, you remembered to maintain your distance. Not once have you commented on his aversion to skin-to-skin contact, though he was certain you harbored your own questions.

"I'm afraid I don't, darling." He raised his chin to hold your gaze, his expression carefully blank. A tailored mask. "I wasn't there."

"You had him taken by the Dregs." The hurt on your face was unmistakable, enough for Kaz to feel a tad remorseful.

It was hardly sufficient, though. Screw righteousness, old habits die hard. "Ah, I had no idea he was your date," he lied again.

"Bullshit."

"But, what I do know is that he laundered money from our coffers and forced children into building the same tavern you were just in."

Kaz went over records of the jobs you'd accomplished in the last two months. After connecting the dots, he successfully identified your date and paid Roeder to look into his background. It was pure luck that the man was a merchant who managed to con Kaz's old boss.

Pulling the strings for his capture was practically child's play. Not that he'd ever tell you that.

Your fury dissipated, replaced by defeat that slumped your shoulders. "You were right," you said quietly, avoiding his eye once more. "I'm sorry."

Kaz rose from his chair and stepped forward. Taken by surprise, you backed away instinctively, only to find yourself trapped by the desk now digging into your hip.

"Let me make it up to you," he spoke with an unfamiliar softness. It almost sounded wrong.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. "What?"

"I ruined your evening. I could have ordered the others to seize him after you finished dinner."

But I didn't want him to walk you home. Wrap his coat around your shoulders. Kiss you goodnight at the Slat's doorstep. Kaz would've probably loaded his pistol at the sight. Broken every limb that touched you with his cane.

You snorted. "Okay. Are you going to give me whatever we steal next? Increase my cut?"

"No, although we can discuss it another time. I'm inviting you out on a date."

You blinked once. Twice. Slowly, you said, "Brekker, you ask someone out when you like them."

His lips pulled into the slightest frown, mildly impatient. "I know."

"You don't like me."

"Whoever put that silly idea in your head?"

"You did. You don't like anyone."

"I may not be the best at showing it, but you know that there are exceptions to that rule," he argued. "Especially when it comes to you."

He continued to lean over you, ignoring the pressure of panic beating against the walls of his chest from the proximity.

"You called me an idiot," you countered. You refused to move a muscle, most likely out of consideration for him, but he closed the distance himself.

He dipped his head further. "Again, I never said that."

"Fine," you conceded, sounding fond. "You implied that I was an idiot."

"I'll be kinder from now on," he promised. "I can try to be sweet, if you give me time and chance to learn. And I'm being honest right now."

Nothing he could do would ever atone for his sins. But although he was renowned as the Bastard of the Barrel, he was prepared to do it right by you.

Hesitantly, you raised a hand. Every inch of his flesh wanted to turn itself inside out, but every bone in his body yearned for your touch.

A quivering sigh escaped his throat as you reached for his cheek, your fingers warm and gentle on his skin.

He braced himself for the familiar scent of death. The ocean. He willed himself to focus on the details that made your face. The line of your jaw to your ear. The slope of your nose. The curve of your lips, hanging onto them as if his life depended on it.

It did, in a way.

"Your answer?" he rasped, suppressing a shiver.

You dragged your thumb against his skin in a delicate but paralyzingly manner and whispered, "I accept."

He had never been held with such tenderness before. Your touch made him feel like he was somewhere else, far from the memories that haunted him.

Growing concerned, you attempted to withdraw your hand but Kaz grasped your wrist before you fully could. He steadied himself with your pulse, each beat, each hymn, anchoring him to the present.

He was here. With you. In his office. Nothing in the world could hurt him.

Eventually, he slid his own gloved hand so that your palms pressed together. Your lashes fluttered and you asked, "Is this really happening? Are we really going on a date?"

He hummed in affirmation. "And I'll do it properly."

Seriously, who in their right mind would bring you to that side of Ketterdam? He took the sealed envelope containing your dinner reservation from inside his coat and handed it to you.

"Thank you." Your mouth curved into a shy smile. "And for the record... you don't have to be anything else other than yourself."

"Ruthless, callous, and dishonest cheat?" His voice held a hint of insecurity, betraying his attempted nonchalance. It was a question hauled from the inner depths of his soul, the boy inside him who wondered if he could ever be worthy of love.

"You forgot insufferable," you teased, although your earnest gaze belied the lightness of your tone. He knew you could see right through him. "But, yes. Just you, Kaz. Nothing more. Nothing less."

At that moment, Kaz knew you would be his salvation and destruction. You could shatter his heart and every single piece would still cry out for your name.

He squeezed your hand. Soon, he'll make you, and everyone else in the Barrel, realize that he had no intentions of ever letting you go.

✦ byeol’s notes: new year, new fandom ?!

✦ reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! thank you so, so much in advance! <3

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc x reader #kaz rietveld #grishaverse #✦ foreign seas. #grishaverse x reader #six of crows fanfic #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker angst #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #kaz x you #kaz x y/n #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone

[happyyyandcrazyyy]

three taps (kaz brekker x reader)

summary: kaz taps three times. it’s his way to say i love you, i care.

or

the three times it took jesper to realize that three taps were something more than a meaningless habit.

warnings: violence, blood, implied se*ual as*ault (not detailed at all and very brief)

a/n: did i write this in less than a day? yes. did the inspiration come to me at six am? also yes. what about your other 50 wip, anna? did you write anything for them? nope.

hope you enjoyed reading this one as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

i. tap, tap, tap

Jesper had seen him do it more times than he could count. It was Kaz’s thing. Three taps, index finger hitting a wooden table, thumb brushing against a map or cane harshly meeting the floor. Most times they were fast taps, like a subconscious action, coming and going before anyone could give it any mind. Other times, however, they were slower, more emphasized, as if trying to make a point. Jesper was used to the taps, as he imagined (Y/N) and Inej also were. The sound came prior to every heist, prior to pronouncing the words of luck (no mourners, no funerals).

It was Kaz’s habit, something he probably did without even realizing, and Jesper couldn’t help but find it oddly comforting, a routine that somehow eased his nerves. (The world could be going to war, Ketterdam could be crashing down in flames, and Kaz would still tap three times. There was a sense of safety in that.)

It wasn’t until Jesper had a closer look that he realized the action was perhaps not as meaningless as he believed.

ii. cane meets ground three times: come back to me, i’m here

(Y/N) had known Kaz the longest out of all of them. Jesper hadn’t known the Slat without her, he hadn’t known Kaz without her. She’d always been there, a person in which the Dregs often found solace and always obtained an ear to listen without judgment. (Y/N) was a walking contradiction, soft around the edges yet powerful enough to bring the toughest people to their knees. She was everything Kaz wasn’t, maybe that was the reason they complimented each other as well as they did.

In a place where kindness was rewarded with death (Y/N) was unusually good-natured. Stray kids in the Barrel knew to find her if they were ever in urgent need of food or shelter. To outsiders she might’ve looked frail, her kindness might’ve made her seem weak, but the people of the underworld knew better than to be fooled by her selfless actions and innocent appearance. (Y/N) had an innate talent for causing people’s demise and there wasn’t a line she wasn’t willing to cross. The gentleness in her eyes would immediately harden at the sight of any threat, like molten lava hitting cold air. People who double-crossed her didn’t live to tell the tale.

Jesper wasn’t quite sure how Kaz and (Y/N) had met. From the whispers he’d heard around the Slat he figured it hadn’t been a pleasant experience. (Y/N) didn’t really discuss her life before joining the Dregs, not even when some of them would gather around to drink and curse the ghosts of the past.

Only once had Jesper gathered enough courage to break past the personal boundaries she’d clearly set and ask.

(And he’d only done it because he’d been almost drunk and really really curious.)

Kaz had been there, quietly observing as he often did, when the words had fallen out of Jesper’s mouth. He’d frozen in place, even when the question hadn’t been directed towards him, jaw tightening. Jesper had noticed Kaz’s instinctive response— because he might’ve been careless and drunk but he was also keenly observant —and that had him sobering up enough to know he was treading in dangerous territory.

No one had ever asked her directly, he’d realized at that moment as he held his breath and awaited a response. Many gossiped and guessed but no one had ever walked up to her and asked her about her past.

The softness hadn’t left (Y/N)’s face, but it was evident that the question had taken her by surprise because she’d frozen mid-action for a split second and something in her features broke. For the first time since he’d known her, Jesper saw the exhaustion and affliction in her eyes. The glint had disappeared as soon as it’d come, (Y/N) had regained her composure lightning fast, and Jesper had wondered if it’d ever been there at all.

She’d looked behind his shoulder at Kaz and they’d shared a look, one that Jesper couldn’t quite decipher. Something must’ve been telepathically said because the grip that Kaz had on his cane had lessened. His eyes, however, didn’t lose the murderous glint in them. Whatever he was remembering had fury roaring through his mind.

(It was only then that Jesper had understood that Kaz hadn’t been angered by his question but rather by the memories that had resurfaced. It must’ve been really serious because the only other time Jesper had ever seen that look in Kaz’s eyes Inej had been hurt and a guy had lost his eye.)

“I was a slave, Jes.”

Jesper did not know what he’d been expecting but that certainly hadn’t been it. As (Y/N) had pronounced the words a shadow crossed her face. It was the way she’d looked away from him, in discomfort and embarrassment, that had realization striking him like lighting. The weight of her words had settled in and Jesper understood, somewhat suddenly, what type of slave she’d been; the type to be used and discarded for the pleasure of rich men, sold and bought as if worth nothing more than an object. The burns and scars on her chest had suddenly made sense.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d added, eyes slightly glazed over, like she was physically there but mentally elsewhere. “And those men,” her eyes had flickered to Kaz before settling back on him, “they’re dead.”

More than dead if Kaz had something to do with it, Jesper had imagined.

Jesper had no way of knowing of the images flashing through her mind (pain, blood, and filthy hands. moans, tears, and screams) but he had recognized the unfocused gaze and the shaking fists by her side as her body’s response to reliving the trauma.

Jesper had never wished he could take back his words more than at that precise moment.

He’d opened his mouth to say something, anything to make the haunted look on her face dissipate, to lessen the burned he just had realized she carried, but Kaz had beaten him to it.

Tap, tap, tap. 

Gently, he’d poked the floor with the ferrule of the cane. The metal had hit the ground heavily, the thud resonating. Kaz’s eyes, Jesper had noticed, remained trained solely on (Y/N), eyebrows furrowed in something that might’ve been concern.

The sound had somehow snapped through the haze of memories and had managed to bring her back to them. (Y/N) had blinked the stupor away, once again in a surprisingly fast manner, before offering Jesper a smile that had every word dying at the back of his throat.

It was small and unbelievably sad, but genuine. It was enough for him to know that she didn’t resent him for asking.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d repeated, almost to herself. Then, she’d tapped the table three times, softly. Jesper wouldn’t have noticed the action if he hadn’t been hyperaware of his surroundings.

At the moment it’d seemed like a coincidence, like (Y/N) had mimicked Kaz’s habit to anchor herself back, but as Jesper laid awake later that night he’d realized it hadn’t been just that.

She’d turned to briefly look at Kaz after doing it. If Jesper had been soberer maybe he would’ve realized that Kaz had said something and (Y/N) had responded.

iii. foot meets floor three times: i’m worried, be safe

Getting shot at was always a nuisance, so it was a true inconvenience that (Y/N) appeared to be a bullet magnet.

Really, the girl had more bullet wounds than Jesper could count. (There were two on her left shoulder, close enough to overlap, and one on her right one. There was one on her upper thigh— which Jesper had never seen but Inej said was almost unnoticeable —and the graze on her left side). Despite her bad luck Jesper reckoned (Y/N) had some sort of Saint looking over her because, somehow, the bullets always missed any important organ.

(“I’m saving you for getting hit,” she’d once joked as Inej changed the bandage on her shoulder. “So, really, you all should be thanking me rather than worrying.”

Jesper would never admit it, but sometimes he thought about her words in a serious manner. Sometimes, as he gambled and his mind slipped away, he believed that (Y/N) somehow deflected the bullets off them and ended up unwillingly pulling them towards her.

It was insane and improbable, Jesper knew that, but he still believed it.)

None of her injuries, however, had ever been as bad as the one she’d suffered two months ago. It’d been a close-range shot and the bullet hadn’t pierced cleanly through the skin but rather had settled inside. It’d missed any major artery, by some sort of miracle, but the wound had gotten infected which had resulted in (Y/N) running a high fever for almost a week.

Kaz hadn’t said a word but Jesper knew he’d been restless, especially during the worst days of the infection when (Y/N) dying was more likely than not. Jesper had seen him pacing back and forth outside of (Y/N)’s room, cane tapping thrice against the wooden floor, never going in but peaking through the door whenever Nina or Inej left. It was odd to see their unshakable leader looking somewhat distraught. Maybe that was why he seemed so on edge now. It was (Y/N)’s first heist after the injury.

Jesper would lie if he said that he wasn’t worried. With her luck, she might end up getting shot tonight, again. He kept on looking at her from the corner of his eye, half expecting her to start bleeding out like she’d done all those months back.

(The image of blood slipping past her lips and her wide eyes was burned in the back of Jesper’s mind. He could still feel the blood soaking his shirt as he’d held her together with his bare hands.)

But (Y/N) remained excitedly rocking on her heels, twirling the gun in her hand the way Jesper had taught her. She caught his eye and winked.

She’ll be alright, Jesper reassured himself.

“Let’s go over it one more time.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the silence of the night, low enough to not startle the birds that slept in the trees above but loud enough for all of them to give him their attention.

Jesper stifled a groan. They’d been over this at least three times before. (Y/N) noticed his dramatized grimace and chuckled, nudging him with her elbow.

“Inej…”

The Wraith slipped out of the shadows, “I’ll enter through the back to the control room and disable the alarm. As soon as it’s done I’ll signal you.”

She nodded towards Jesper.

“Distraction as soon as I receive the sign,” Jesper continued.

Kaz assented. “The alarm deactivation will give us a ten-minute window for the theft,” he said it as if he hadn’t been reminding them of the small span of time they had ever since he’d devised the plan. “So the distraction has to last at least seven minutes.”

Jesper knew that, it gave enough time for (Y/N) to slip in and out without raising much suspicion.

He whistled and offered a self-satisfying smirk, “I’ve got it.”

Kaz stared at him for a second, as if trying to pick his mind apart with the power of his eyes, before turning to the girl by Jesper’s side.

“(Y/N)…”

She met his eyes with a grin. “I’m off the moment Jes begins to work his magic. Go in through the second window, safe is on the second floor, third room to the left.”

“And you’re looking for?”

“Pink star diamond, 60 carats,” she responded with ease. “And if something else catches my eye-”

“No,” Kaz cut her off, tone firm and resolute. Both Jesper and Inej snapped their gaze towards their leader, it wasn’t often that he limited just how much they could steal. “In and out.”

From the corner of his eye Jesper saw the smile fall off (Y/N)’s face, arms coming to cross defensively over her chest.

“But what if-”

“In and out,” Kaz repeated, always inflexible once he made up his mind. He jutted his jaw as if daring her to argue. Jesper half expected her to do so, after all (Y/N) was never afraid of disagreeing and questioning him— she was one of the few who could do it without much repercussion —but she didn’t.

If Jesper hadn’t been looking closely he would’ve missed it, the way (Y/N) eyes trailed down to Kaz’s feet, only for a second.

Tap, tap, tap.

The point of his boot tapping against the muddy floor, his eyes not once leaving (Y/N)’s.

Her face softened instantly, shoulders deflating. She tapped her index finger against her bicep thrice in return before uncrossing her arms.

She relented with a sigh, “In and out, okay.”

As they wished each other good luck (no mourners, no funerals) Kaz did it again and this time Jesper was waiting for it, the tap of the leader’s cane against the leaves.

Tap, tap, tap.

Comfort swept over him.

Everything went as smoothly as it can go when one is robbing a millionaire.

iv. finger meets wood three times: i’m sorry, i love you

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, Jesper had heard that saying being whispered more times than he could recall and he could vouch for it. It was, perhaps, what made Kaz so formidable. There was no knowing when he would strike because there was no why, and without a why one couldn’t forestall his actions.

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, but they’d given him one the moment they’d taken (Y/N). Their death sentence had been signed the moment they’d laid a hand on her.

As Jesper watched (Y/N) in silent concern he finally understood why people feared when they whispered that saying.

(Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason.)

“Find her,” Kaz had instructed Inej and Nina as soon as they’d arrived at their destination. The girls had disappeared into the night, focused on the rescue mission.

The hand with which Kaz gripped his cane had been shaking with anger all night.

The truth was he’d been seething ever since some rouge Dime Lions had taken what was his. (They’d been rouges, Kaz was certain. Pekka Rollins had sworn to him, after a few broken fingers, that he’d never ordered them to take his girl.) Everyone in the Slat had been on edge for the last three days, expecting their leader to snap at them at any moment, but Kaz had managed to keep a tight rein on his emotions.

The control had slipped from Kaz’s fingers the moment he caught a glimpse of a man on the deck of the rusty old boat, laughter-filled voice talking about how he’d made a mess of the Bastard’s bitch. The tremors in Kaz’s hands had come to a sudden stop. Before Jesper had the opportunity to even blink Kaz had fired his gun, hitting the blond straight in the forehead.  

(For someone who favored his cane over every other existing weapon, Kaz had a deadly aim. Jesper would never say it out loud, but he reckoned Kaz’s ability might come close to rivaling his own.)

“I’ll deal with them.”

Jesper had known what that meant; come with me, cover my back, but let me make them suffer.

Kaz Brekker was only one man but the murderous wrath in his eyes had let Jesper know that Kaz had no intention of leaving any of them alive. He was going to make them pay, he was going to destroy them.

Brick by brick.

It’d been carnage after that. Jesper had watched, in some sort of horrified awe, how Kaz had taken down every single one of the men. He’d shot some of them too, but it’d been mainly just Kaz. There’d been screams and the smell of blood had tainted the air.  

Then there’d been nothing but silence and a pained whimper.

(It was in moments like these that Jesper was struck with the realization that he knew nothing about Kaz Brekker. Because, if anyone had ever asked him about Kaz’s anger prior to what he’d witnessed that night, Jesper would’ve answered that Kaz’s anger was hot and sharp and acid, a searing rage that couldn’t be controlled once unleashed. Kaz’s anger knew no boundaries and crossed all limits, he would’ve said, it burned fiercely as it destroyed everything in its path. But that night Jesper had seen another side to Kaz’s rage. His eyes had looked downright homicidal, dangerously violent. They’d contrasted the lack of emotions in his features. His anger wasn’t fueled by emotion—not anymore, it’d gone past that —but rather by the innate need to protect what was his. It wasn’t loud or visible, but rather quiet and lethal. Cold anger that Jesper had found even more terrifying.)

“I know you planned all of this,” Kaz had walked closer to the man who laid on the ground, hands gripping a bullet wound in his kneecap and whimpers falling from his lips. “You thought taking my girl would make me falter, didn’t you?” The man had tried to scramble but Kaz had only tsked before swinging his cane against the man’s injured leg. He’d let out a pained moan, tears dripping down his cheeks. “You just made me angry.”

“Please, I’m begging you…”

“Oh, you should beg.” The heel of the cane had come down on the knees again, the snapping sound indicating a broken bone and the wail letting Jesper know just how bad the pain must’ve been. “I would shoot you in the face, but that would be too merciful of me.” He’d used the head of the cane, the prideful crow, to lift the man’s chin. “If (Y/N) was here she’d tell me to be gentle,” a shadow had crossed Kaz’s face, terrifying enough to make a chill run down Jesper’s back, “too bad for you she isn’t here.”

The head of the cane had been swung back and it came in contact with the man’s jaw. Blood had trickled down the man’s chin, a scream leaving his mouth.

“You took something of mine, you hurt something of mine, and for that, I’ll make sure you suffer.”

Kaz had used his cane after that and no more words were spoken.

Now, as Jesper watched (Y/N) flinch away from Nina, he wondered what would’ve happened if Kaz had seen her state before killing all those men. Maybe it’d been a blessing for them that he hadn’t.

Jesper had never seen (Y/N) so worn down. She sat by the stairs, knees to her chest, holding herself close. It was a strategic position, a place where she could watch all of them and no one could sneak from behind (part of Jesper’s heart had shattered when he’d come to that realization.) She’d only spent three days with the Lions but that’d been enough to cause cracks in the impenetrable wall she’d spent the last years building, past trauma slipping through. So far she hadn’t let anyone close to her, not even Inej who was her closest friend and who’d spoken in gentle whispers about treating her injuries. Her face was a mess, the beauty not gone but tainted with purples and blues. One of her eyes still bled. Under her nails and across her fingers there was dry blood but her arms held no injuries. Jesper just knew she’d given one hell of a fight. He wondered if this was what she’d looked like when Kaz had found her all those years ago, he wondered if maybe it’d been worse. He didn’t ponder long because the pain it caused in his chest was unbearable.

Her eyes snapped towards the door before it was slammed open. Jesper turned around just in time to see Kaz walk in.

(He’d changed and showered after arriving at the Slat. Jesper somehow knew he’d done that before seeing (Y/N) to prevent the blood— that’d covered his clothes and face —from triggering any unwanted memory.

It was (Y/N)’s first time seeing him after she’d been taken. Jesper knew that Kaz was their last hope of bringing her back to them.)

Jesper saw the moment Kaz’s unwavering gaze met (Y/N)’s face and he could tell, without a doubt, that anger was consuming him once again. His jaw clenched at the sight of bruises, and his hand clenched itself by his side.

He looked ready to burn the city to ashes in retribution.

Somehow, Kaz managed to control the rage. The frigid anger in Kaz’s eyes, the one that had frightened Jesper to the core, melted as he crouched in front of her.

“Are you with me?”

She blinked once, twice, thrice. Then, she nodded, and Jesper couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left his lips. She was here, broken and damaged, but here with them. That was enough.

Kaz’s gloved hand reached forward, stopping inches away from her face, ghosting over her bruised cheek. Careful not to touch any skin, he moved some of the hair out of (Y/N)’s face before fisting his hand and returning it to his side.

Jesper looked away, something about the act felt more intimate than it looked. Nosy as he was, he listened in.  

“They touched me,” the voice was weak and shaky and so unlike the (Y/N) that Jesper knew.

A sharp intake of breath. “I made them pay for that.”

“Did they suffer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” It was barely a whisper but the words were surprisingly firm.

Jesper couldn’t see but he heard the taps. Three times. Kaz’s finger against the wooden railing of the stairs.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Jesper frowned, unbelievably confused by the words the girl had just uttered.

Tap, tap, tap.

Gentle and genuine, “I love you, too.”

Everything clicked at that precise moment, the confusion faded away. Jesper was left dizzy with the realization that Kaz’s taps meant absolutely everything. They were his way of telling them he cared. No one knew, no one understood the action, and maybe that was why Kaz kept on doing it.

But now Jesper did, now he understood.  

From that day on he found himself twirling his guns thrice before going out and causing mayhem.

#six of crows imagine #six of crows #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #the crows #shadow and bone #shadown and bone imagine #kaz brekker x fem!reader #grishaverse #happyyyandcrazyyy writing #shadow and bone fanfiction #fanfic #jesper fahey x reader #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows fic #six of crows fanfic

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

I hate to ask again but I had and idea. Also the last one was so cute thank you. If you can can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader is in love with this book but no one has read is so they have no one to talk to about it so Kaz reads it and starts a conversation about it with the reader and they get really happy and start ranting about it to him and he’s just happy to sit and listen to them and make comments from time to time

Dude, send me all the requests for our boy Kazzle Dazzle your ideas are so creative!

Book Club (Kaz x reader)

He needed an opening. Just one solid reason to actually talk to you. You had been in the Dregs for years now and Kaz was still struggling to even breathe around you. He had this crush on you that he refused to admit was there. Inej saw it, even dumbass Jesper saw it.

You'd assume that Kaz was mute if it hadn't been for your presence in the Dregs. You had been there for a long time but disappeared on a mission far off for three years. The room above Kaz had been vacant and then suddenly it had life. Kaz had no idea anyone even lived above him until you knocked on his door your first night back and asked him to join you for tea.

There you sat on a nice couch with a cup of chamomile. Kaz was perplexed by who you were and why the fuck you wanted to drink glorified leaves in water.

"Why am I here?" He asked.

"You tell me." You said, sipping from your cup. Kaz furrowed his brow.

"You asked me to have tea with you." He said, watching you with those daggers for eyes.

"You didn't have to say yes." You shrugged.

"I did."

"You did not." "I did." He said. "Okay then, why did you have to accept?" You asked. He sighed, looking at you with his gloved hands gripping his cane.

"Because I needed to know who was suddenly living in the room above me." He said. You rose a brow.

"You could've asked Inej to investigate." You said. He blinked.

"You know Inej?" He asked.

"I've been in the Dregs for three years, of course I know your main lot. Inej, Jesper, Nina, Wylan and that off-putting convict Mattias." You said.

Kaz was confused. How did you know so much but he was ignorant to you? How did he not know who you were?

"I'm a sharpshooter. I use that-" you pointed to a rifle on the mantle "rifle to kill whoever you want dead." You said.

"Why do I not know you?" Kaz asked.

"I was off in Shu Han for Haskell." You said. "For what?" Kaz asked.

"You do your business, I'll do mine." You said.

He liked that response. It meant you'd keep any secret that slipped through your ears. "I will work for you when you need me. Say the word, I will be there no questions asked unless one of ours is bleeding." You said.

"Why tea?" He asked. "We easily could've done this over something less detestable."

You chuckled. "You've not had the right tea then." You said with that smile.

That fucking smile. From that moment on Kaz was hooked. He couldn't help it. It was hard to not fall in love with someone like you. You were always there when he needed you, apparently you had taken some training on stealth from Inej, leaning to be one with the dark making you even more deadly.

But for the deadly persona that the streets simply knew as "the bullet", you were a gentle person. Kaz often noticed you with stray animals, seeing that kind smile. The one that made Kaz at a loss for words. You'd often make that same smile at Kaz when you'd pass him with a gentle "hi boss."

Sure, technically Per Haskell was the "boss". You however knew damn well Kaz was the brains behind everything. You had become close with the other members of the Dregs, including Inej who called you a sister. She loved being around you. You gave good advice and that was probably why the rest of the group would flock to you.

So there you all were, your head in Jesper's lap as you read. Kaz had noticed your sudden interest in this, everytime he saw you, you had that book in hand now. Wylan looked over at you.

"Care to join the game?" He asked.

"I'm good." You said, turning the page.

"You've been reading that for two weeks now, come up for air." Inej said.

"I need to know if Alistair lives Inej, the prophecy is strongly implying he will die and I don't think Cousland can handle him dying." You muttered, reading.

"None of that made any sense." Nina said.

"It'll make sense if one of you would at least read it." You said.

"We're all too busy. Kaz keeps giving us stupid b&e's.(breaking and entering)" Jesper said.

"Not all of you are busy though. Wylan?" You said.

"Kaz has been training me for lockpicking." Wylan said.

"He take you to the financial district?" You asked, looking up.

"Once or twice." He shrugged.

"Course he did. Best place to practice." You said before going back to your book.

"Alright, who's in?" Jesper asked.

Inej noticed Kaz at the bar, occasionally looking over at you. "I'm out." She said.

Inej made her way to him and he cleared his throat, turning back to his drink. It looked like scotch but the smell... it wasn't scotch it was tea.

"Didn't you say that tea was just leaves in water that is hot?" Inej asked.

"I hadn't drank the right tea." Kaz said, looking at the glass with vacant eyes. Inej recognized the expression. Kaz was at war with himself, as usual.

He never handled his innermost feelings well, especially the ones that left him vulnerable. And what was more vulnerable than love? You were a plague to his mind, always there. When it wasn't your face that he was smiling internally at, it was your laugh. When it wasn't your laugh it was your smile and so on. He wanted so badly to talk to you like he once did over tea but he didn't think it was a good idea.

You were just so perfect in his eyes. So beautiful, so smart. If he tried to converse, he'd make an ass of himself. He needed an opening something fierce. Something to give him a reason to talk to you instead of "hey, your face is anestheticly pleasing to look at, which I do. Frequently. Without you knowing."

"You're staring at your glass mighty hard there." Inej said. Kaz looked up. "You should just talk to her." She said.

"It's not that easy." He muttered.

"I do it all the time." Inej said with an eyeroll.

"Because you are friends. You know her. I am not that lucky." He said.

"You do know her." Inej said.

"Not like that. I know her from afar. Where it's safe." He said, drinking the glass.

"Kaz, she's right there. Just talk to her." Inej said.

You got up, stretching with a yawn. "I'm heading out " You said to Inej.

"Kaz will go with you!" Inej volunteered.

If looks could kill, Inej would've been six feet under at that moment Kaz glared at her.

"Alright..?" You said confused. Kaz sighed looking at Inej and then you before standing up.

He walked out with you, noticing the dark clouds that hung in the sky. "Looks like it might rain" he said.

"Good reading weather." You said.

"You're usually reading nowadays." Kaz said.

"It's a nice escape from things when they get too intense." You shrugged.

"What is it that you're reading now?" He asked.

If you were a dog, your ears would've perked up. "It's amazing- it's about this girl who joins this legendary army and has to rebuild what was-... Sorry." You cleared your throat.

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked.

"Well apparently everyone thinks I talk too much about this book." You said.

"Who said that?"

"Well Nina." He'd kill her

"And Jesper." He'd shoot him with his own guns

"And Inej." Wait what?

"And pretty much anyone who asks me." You finished.

"Wow." Was all Kaz could muster for words.

You shrugged. "I wish they'd just listen to me and read the damn book." You said.

"Why do you think they haven't?" He asked.

"They're all busy. They have their own lives and I have mine. It's nothing personal, I know. But I just wish sometimes I could talk to someone about it and have them actually know what I'm talking about." You said walking.

Kaz then realized this was it. This was his perfect excuse to get closer. "What's the name of the book?" He asked curiously.

"Rise of the Grey Wardens. Why?" You asked.

"I figured I could read it." He shrugged.

Your eyes lit up and Kaz felt intense joy. He made you happy. He actually made you happy. He didn't mean to but he did and my god were you adorable to him when you were beaming. "Then I know where we should go!" You said walking ahead of him.

Instinctively he followed. "Where are we going?" He asked.

You looked back, a breeze blowing your hair in such a beautiful way as you turned to him. "My favorite place in Ketterdam."

He asked no more questions after that, just following you quietly through backstreets. Kaz watched you approach a side door to a building, knocking on it rhythmically. The door open, an older woman smiling at you.

"Weren't you just here a few days ago?" She asked.

"I brought a friend." You said with a smile, stepping back and motioning for Kaz to introduce himself. Kaz couldn't help but feel a little giddy of your use of 'friend'.

"I'm-"

"I know." She said. She didn't say it with disdain though, which shocked him. "You're the reason we're still open. Come on in Mister Brekker."

He didn't know what that meant but accepted the invitation, walking in. "Do you have another copy of 'Rise of the Grey Wardens'?" You asked.

"I do, why did you burn through your other copy?" She asked.

"Mister Brekker wishes to read." You said with a grin. Kaz's eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room. Bookshelves lined the walls both on the first and second floor of the building. There must've been thousands of books in front of Kaz.

"Here you are mister Brekker." The woman said.

"Thank you er..."

"Miriam." She said with a nod and a kind smile. She gave off the feeling of a doting grandmother with how fond she seemed of you. "Right! Y/n dear, I made some sugar biscuits if you'd like to try them" she said. You seemed to have found your way upstairs when you responded back with a

"Be right down!"

You returned with a new book in hand and Miriam grinned as Kaz took the book. "I see you've found the sequel." She said. You had the biggest grin.

"I had no clue it was a series." You admitted.

"The second one tends to be slow but it is vital for the third." She said, handing you a cookie.

You smiled, taking it. "Thank you. How much do I owe you?" You asked.

"Nothing. It's on the house." She declared.

"Miriam, if you ever wanted to apply for sainthood, I do believe you to be eligible." You said making her laugh.

"Thank the saints you didn't know me in my youth." She teased making you laugh. Kaz couldn't explain it. Usually smalltalk annoyed him but something about this was nice to him. You and Miriam seemed to have a tight bond.

"We should go, it does look like it'll rain." You said, peaking out a window. Kaz nodded but Miriam held her hand up before handing you and Kaz paper bags.

"For the road." She told the both of you. You gave her a kind smile before walking back to the door. "One moment Mister Brekker." She halted. Kaz turned around as Miriam motioned for him to lean forward for them to whisper. "Keep her safe, will you? There's not many a good person in Ketterdam but she's one of them." She said.

Kaz with possibly the sweetest look of adoration he could muster simply said "I will, Miss Miriam." Before he followed you out. The two of you began your trek back to the Slat. "How long have you known Miriam?" Kaz asked.

"Going on ten years now. Saved her cat from a town fire, she's been grateful since." You said, opening the paperbag and pulling a cookie out. Miriam gave you both cookies. Maybe Miriam was just a village grandma.

"Has any of the others met her?" He asked.

You shook your head. "You'd be the first I've shown to the Archive." You said.

"Why me?" Kaz asked as a crack of thunder sounded off.

"Because you asked me about what I read." You said before walking into the Slat.

Kaz winded up spending a good week reading that book. You were right, it was an amazing story. When he finished, he had that same urge that you did to discuss it.

All of the crows were back in the club, this time Kaz and you both playing a round of poker. Jesper hated this. You were way too good at poker and kept winning, hand after hand. You had a nice stack of chips. Inej seeing your smirk as you leaned back in your chair.

"I win again!" You said.

"Why is this so hard?" Wylan asked.

"Because Y/n is way too good at this." Jesper groaned, smacking his head on the table. Nina sighed.

"I need a drink. A very large one." She said.

"I've got my own little army of chips." You said, stacking them.

"You could rebuild the Cousland estate with your winnings." Kaz said, you looking up slightly shocked. "Course, I could always pull a Howe and, y'know. Knock it down." Kaz added.

You looked bewildered as Inej rose a brow.

"Kay, is it just me, or did none of that make sense?" Jesper asked.

"You just made a reference." You said.

"I did." Kaz nodded.

"You finished it."

"I did."

"And!?"

"You were right. The book is fantastic, I could not put it down." Kaz said.

Inej and Jesper exchanged a look.

"Fuck poker. We need to discuss the book NOW!" You said excitedly.

"Yes! Put me out of my misery!" Jesper said.

Kaz looked at him and then you. "Let's have tea." He suggest. Nina's eyes went wide as she realized what was happening before her, her looking at Inej who had a smile on her face.

"I'm grabbing my coat! Let's go!" You said getting up. Kaz followed you as you practically bounced out the door with excitement.

Nina gaped. "How long has he been in love with her!?" She asked as the door closed.

"Oh a while now, like since she got back." Wylan shrugged.

Jesper and Inej looked at Wylan as he moved your chips.

"You knew?" Inej asked.

"It'd take a blind man not to see."

You ended up back at the Slat, sitting cross legged on your sofa. You two must've discussed the book for hours, Kaz loving every moment of it as he heard you passionately talk about the story.

You sighed with a smile. "It's funny, I didn't think you liked me." You said, looking at your empty tea cup.

Kaz rose a brow. "Why did you think that?" He asked.

"You just seemed so... I dunno. Angry that I returned." You said.

"I wasn't."

"But you seemed it."

"I didn't know who you were. I was on my guard" he said. You rose a brow.

"You're not anymore?" You asked. Kaz bared a gentle expression that made your heart almost explode inside your chest.

"I'm not. You're one of the few I trust. The only I'd trust with my entire being." He said. Kaz didn't have faith in a lot of things. But he had faith in you and it showed. He looked at you. "Do you trust me?" He asked.

You gave him a look of pure adoration. "Of course." You said. You had spent your life reading books about the greatest romances of all time. You'd get lost in those stories of how the man always loved the girl but she didn't realize it until a pivotal moment.

"Kaz... you said you trusted me." You breathed. "Please. Please let my intuition be right." You thought to yourself as Kaz gave you a questioning look. "Do you... love me?"

Your question hung in the air for what felt like the longest minute of your life. Kaz definitely seemed caught way off his guard by the question, his eyes widening the second he realized what was happening.

This entire time he has been hoping for an opening to talk to you. A moment to truly get to know you. Well he got one. And he fell in love with every bit of you. He swallowed hard.

"Forget that I asked, I am so sorr-" "I do." He said.

You blinked. "What?"

"I love you." He said. Your jaw must've hit the floor. You knew how guarded this man was. You heard that any semblance of vulnerability was practically impossible from Kaz and yet here he was. Being the most vulnerable he could be with you.

You looked at him before getting up. He thought his words might've done something bad. Maybe you didn't want his love. Maybe he had misinterpreted everything, maybe he was a fool for thinking there was-

You kneeled in front of him. "Kaz, may... Uhm... May I touch you?" You asked. With hesitation he nodded as your hand gently held his cheek. The touch of humans was deeply unsettling to Kaz. That feeling brought him back to a place he never wanted to be in ever again and yet somehow...

Somehow your gentle touch made him feel safe. If it had been anyone else he'd probably be in the process of murdering the fool who touched him. But it was you. You were like an angel on earth to him.

"When I look at you, do you know what I see?" You asked softly.

"No." He muttered.

"I see someone else who's been through hell and came out on the other side." You held his hands, Kaz looking in your eyes. "We've suffered long enough and we deserve to be happy." You said softly.

Kaz had a momentary loss of control. He kissed you, you leaning into his touch. He pulled away with wide eyes. "I am so sorry-" "shut up and kiss me Brekker."

The next day you were at the crow club reading at the bar next to Inej. Jesper yawned. "It's a boring day. Wish Kaz would give us something to do. By this point I'll take a fucking b&e." He whined.

Kaz, as if he were summoned, walked through the doors of the crow club, sitting on your other side. For once, Inej watched you put your book down as you gave a gentle smile to Kaz. "Hello" you said.

The dead give away that something had changed was the fact that Kaz smiled. He actually smiled back at you. "Hello." He said softly.

Inej and Jesper swapped shocked looks. "Y/n, do you mind helping me with this? It's a rifle mod and I wanna make sure I've got the measurements right." Wylan asked. You looked over.

"Alright." You said walking off.

Jesper and Inej looked at Kaz who now had a drink in his hand. "What the hell happened last night!?" Jesper asked.

"Nothing important." Kaz shrugged.

"We just had tea."

#kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows

[notelcol]

The Getaway🐦‍⬛

That Kaz x reader hurt/comfort that was voted in by some lovely people❤️

Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes🫶

The wind blew harshly against your body as you ran through Ketterdam with a stolen scroll in your hand. Your felt like you were flying. Grinning, you turned towards the man who ran a step behind you. His face matched yours. A wicked joy had you both feeling more alive than ever. You had just pulled a small heist, now it was your favourite part. The getaway.

A few more turnings through the winding streets and you would be at the switch point. There, you would meet Inej and she would disappear with the loot, while Jesper shoots the men chasing you. That was the plan at least…When you and Kaz finally skidded to a halt at your location, you both looked up at the rooftops for Inej.

“Where is she?” Kaz hissed. You looked back down the road you had come from.

“Where’s the men?” You realised they should have caught up by now. Slow footsteps began to echo, coming from a nearby turning. You whipped your head around to see the man you just stole from. He grinned menacingly before pulling out a gun. Kaz clocked it before you did but before he could even take a step towards you, the shot rang out. The scroll fell from your hand and rolled down the street, towards the shooter.

“I’ll have that back now, thank you.” He said, all too politely. Then, he simply walked away while whistling a jaunty tune.

The shock wore off, as the whistling became quieter. Then came the pain. You held your hand against your stomach, only to be met with a wet warmth. Reality truly hit you when you looked down at your hand and saw the blood. All of a sudden you could feel it trickling down from your stomach until it fell in a pool on the floor. You looked to Kaz for reassurance, only to see him white as a sheet inching towards you terror.

“You need to apply pressure.” He instructed. You complied, but each second you felt as though you were fading. Until, you dropped.

“HEY!” Kaz shouted desperately poking you with his cane. “Stay awake and keep applying pressure. Inej and Jesper will be here, they are just held up.” He hoped they would come. A situation like this is the only time Kaz feels useless.

Your eyes started to roll as your vision became blurry. You tried to keep pressing on your wound but your hands wouldn’t listen to you. As your fingers fell beside you once again, you felt a hard pressure against your stomach. You knew you were delirious when you saw Kaz kneeling at your side, keeping your blood inside your body, allowing you to close your eyes at last. Kaz himself was beginning to feel like he was dreaming too. The last time he had pushed his hair out of his face, your blood on his gloves ran up his arm beneath his sleeve. The wet sensation combined with the coldness of your body under his hands was all too familiar.

Kaz wanted nothing more than to sink his memories forever. But they kept surfacing to matter how hard he tried to focus on you. A scream ripped from his throat as he punched himself in the head, as if trying to evict the distraction of his childhood trauma. His eyes fell upon your face as he told himself this isn’t Jordie. You were still alive, at least you would be as long as he could keep himself together. He pressed more confidently against the wound at he thought of losing you, his partner in crime. He never expected to trust someone enough to call them that. He had his Crows, but never a partner. Not until you. Not since Jordie. A tear fell from his cheek onto yours as he stared down at your paling features.

He barely even noticed Inej’s arrival. It was shortly followed by Jesper’s much louder one.

“Sorry! We got held up by-“ Jesper froze when he saw the scene before him, then released a breath when he saw your chest rising.

“Shit. We need to get them back home.” Jesper jumped straight into action, less cautious to approach Kaz than Inej was. He took over Kaz’ position at your side and picked you up.

You woke up to a deep ache, causing you to groan and roll over. The movement changed the pain to a searing stab.

“FUCKING HELL!!!” You screamed.

“Good morning to you too.” Kaz’ made his presence in the room known to you. He was sat at the side of your bed smirking at you.

“I take it the men who were supposed to be chasing us are why Inej and Jesper were late?” You asked. Kaz answered you with only a nod, leaving you still concerned for your friends. Your rolled your eyes as sat up, this time sure to move slower. It did not help much, still feeling like you were being ripped open. You felt Kaz’ cane press against your chest gently.

“Lay down.” He sternly told you. You looked up at him in defiance but stopped when you saw his eyes. “Please.” His tone was more vulnerable this time, small like a whisper. You allowed his cane to push you back down, not missing the sadness in his eyes as a groan escaped you.

“I’m okay.” You sent him a comforting smile, which he returned.

“So are Inej and Jesper.”

Kaz had been in and out of your room all day in between handling business.

“I just came to say goodnight.” He said, though he seemed as though he was holding back. You decided not to pry, since you did not have the energy to get blood from a stone tonight.

“Goodnight Kaz.” You smiled. He turned to leave, looking almost disappointed. Then out of nowhere, he rushed back in and stopped when he reached your bedside. He looked deep into your eyes. The intensity woke your drowsy mind as your heart skipped a beat. “You are very special to me. Today was…” He trailed off and looked away. You thought he was about to turn around and leave again, but instead he sucked in a deep breath and quickly pressed a kiss to your forehead. As his lips met your skin, he lingered for a second. This was the closest you had ever felt to him. Not because of the physical contact though. It was rare for Kaz let someone see him feel. It felt intimate. But it was over as fast as it began.

“Goodnight.” He said once more, but this time he was breathless and shaking in a mix of fear and something else that he was finally ready to name.

“I love you.” He spoke. Before you could process the interaction, he was gone.

——-

Thank you for reading 🌹

#shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #kaz #kaz brekker hurt/comfort #kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz dirtyhands brekker #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker angst #kaz hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #light angst #angst #writing #x reader #fanfic #soc #six of crows #inej gafha #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #grishaverse #grisha

[beekeepingageissome]

Me when alabaster skin dark-haired men

#tomriddle#kazbrekker#jd#

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x female reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #tom riddle fic #grishaverse #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #tom riddle x you #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle fluff

[queenofspades6]

Greatest Investment | Kaz Brekker x reader

Summary: You eavesdrop on Kaz and Inej, you watched as they get closer, and well, it doesn’t go as planned…

Based on this request I received:

”Hiii! I haven't watched the second season yet, but I saw a Gif of a kiss (or almost kiss) between Kaz and Inej, and I was wondering if you would write about the reader having feelings for Kaz since they met, but she doesn't have the courage to talk, so at some point in the day she goes to check if Kaz needs anything and ends up witnessing the kiss (or almost kiss) between Kaz and Inej, and the reader feels like the silliest person in the world after that.”

Warnings: Angst. (Sorry…)

A/N: Hi! I hope you’ll enjoy what I wrote, I took some liberties since I was so inspired by the request!! I love some good angst! Did I use again in a Kaz Brekker fic title the word ‘investment’? Oops…I think meeting Freddy and Amita made me that way! They are so incredible!

———

Being Ketterdam’s most famous assassin wasn’t an easy life. You were one of Kaz Brekker’s Crows, always here if needed. Since you were part of the Crows, there was something unspoken between Kaz and you. There was some sort of tension from the beginning, even Nina and Jesper had noticed.

”How is the most beautiful woman in Ketterdam doing?“ Jesper asked, taking place to the bar counter next to you.

You rolled your eyes and repressed a grin.

“What do you want, Jesper?“

“Can’t I just compliment you without needing a reason?”

You stared at him meticulously, but Jesper couldn’t look back. Interesting. He needed to ask you something then...

“Fine! Fine! I need your help.“

You sighed but smiled.

”What? It’s not my fault, Y/N, if you give good advice! Don’t blame me!”

”Jesper, what do you need me for?“ You questioned, taking a sip at your drink.

“You see...“

Jesper was trying to avoid your gaze.

”Jesper. My patience has its limits.”

“Alright! Fine! I want to prepare a date for Wylan and I need your help.” He spitted, playing with his gun on his hand.

You nodded.

”I’ll help you. What do you need me for?“

”I don’t know what to plan. Maybe something he’ll like.”

You laughed, thinking about your previous conversation with Wylan about a sweet and wonderful place you both wanted to go to escape for once the cold streets of Ketterdam.

“Jes. You know what? Bring him to Butterfly’s Heaven, you declared, a smile already drawing on your lips at the thought, it’s a greenhouse where all the species of butterfly can fly freely. There’s also an endearing cafe there to drink something while watching the butterflies.” You replied, stars already dancing in your eyes thinking about all the marvelous butterflies.

“Do you think Wylan will love it?”

”Definitely! We talked about it all week, and he was desperate to go. You should bring him. He’ll love it. And buy him a stuffed toy, he’ll marry you right after.”

Jesper was smiling at the thought of Wylan asking his hand in marriage.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“You and Wylan deserve to be happy.“

“What if it’s not enough, Y/N? What if I am not enough?” He opened up, not caring if he was vulnerable in front of you.

“You are enough, Jesper, you always have.”

You looked at him and smiled, hoping one day you’ll find someone that will care for you as much as Jesper wants Wylan.

“Wylan thinks you are enough, he loves you, Jes. And even Kaz knows it, even if he won’t ever admit it.”

You took another sip of the whisky in front of you and heard someone giggling.

”Hi Y/N!”

Wylan was embracing Jesper with his hands around his shoulders.

“Hi you.” Wylan said to Jesper.

Jesper didn’t even reply and kissed him tenderly as if he were the most precious thing in the world. And at that moment, you swore he were. They broke the kiss, and Wylan blinked several times as if to recover from the intensity of the kiss. It warmed your heart, even if you said nothing.

“What were you talking about?” Wylan asked, coming back to his senses.

Jesper almost jumped off his seat.

”We were talking about Y/N’s feelings for Kaz!“ Jesper answered spontaneously, too scared to reveal what he had planned.

”What? We were?” You almost spitted your drink on the counter of the bar. Now you were facing Jesper and Wylan. How dare he expose you like that?

”Oh seems interesting.” Wylan said, waiting for you to say more.

“There’s nothing between me and Kaz.”

Wylan looked at you wide-eyed, and Jesper sighed, before saying:

”Lie, Y/N. Haven’t you noticed how Kaz always checks on you after a heist, how you always have dresses, jewels, food, everything you want given to you for nothing in shops, you think it’s because of your fine looks? No. Even if you’re beautiful, Y/N, no offense! It’s Kaz’s doing. He made me went with him to each shop, each café, each place in Ketterdam you would want to go to pay, or should I say ‘bribe’ them for you to always have what’s best, no matter the cost.”

”That’s not true, that’s-”

”And what about this time you almost died, and he stayed at your bed an entire week, ordering every Dreg not to disturb him, and how you always have your tea and waffles ready for you every morning? Even Nina is jealous!” He confessed.

”I thought it was you or Wylan who was making me breakfast every morning!”

”It’s not.“ He muttered.

”He’s right, Y/N.” Wylan nodded. ”Even Nina told me last time about how his heartbeat jumped when you are in the same place, and how irritating it was for her to feel both of your heartbeats jumping when you’re together.”

“You should tell him how you feel, Y/N. You are the one who encouraged me to be with Wylan, because life is short, and in Ketterdam, death is always near. He cares about you, more than he’ll ever admit.”

”I don’t have feelings for Kaz fucking Brekker!” You almost screamed and avoided Wylan and Jesper’s gazes.

You took your glass of whisky and finished it all. The feeling of alcohol burning your throat almost soothed you.

”You do.” Jesper smiled and teased you.

”No, I don’t!”

Wylan rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’stuborness.

”Y/N! There you are, I thought you were with Kaz!”

You jumped off your seat. Fortunately for you, it was only Nina and not Dirtyhands himself.

”Nina, you scared the hell out of me.”

She grinned as if she had planned it all along.

”What are the three of you up to?“ She questioned, eyebrows raised.

"We are talking about Y/N’s feelings for Kaz.” Wylan answered before you could even speak.

”Not you too, Wylan!”

He smirked, almost shyly, and even if you wanted to blame him, you couldn’t blame his cute silly face.

”Hmmm, you and Waffles are not so discreet with your feelings.”

You sighed and tried to ignore Nina’s voice. You knew that if you listened to them, you would probably end up in Kaz’s office confessing your feelings for him, because on some missions, it became unbearable. The need to protect him, to check on him, how he could make you feel powerful and useless at the same time.

“Y/N. Heartbeats don’t lie.” Nina whispered to you, and you were sure Wylan and Jesper would not hear.

”Stop Nina. I- I- He’s not in love with me. Kaz Brekker can’t be in love. Love is a weakness, and I am only his latest investment.” You repeated, only to convince yourself of it.

“So how do you explain how his heartbeat go faster when you’re here, how I can feel his heart trying to get out of his chest when you’re injured. He cares. He tries to hide it, but the heart doesn’t lie. Never.”

You looked at her blue ocean eyes, and she caressed your shoulder in encouragement.

”Try to tell him, try to tell him you care, if only that. Love is a fragile thing, cherish it while it lasts.”

You swore you saw an ounce of sadness and regret flashing in her eyes as she remembered Matthias.

“I think you can help him with his past.” Nina muttered.

You looked at your empty glass, and noticed how your hands were trembling. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was time for you to tell him, that at least you cared for him. More than him being just your Boss.

You stood up, levelled up your chin, and took several steps towards Kaz’s office.

You were Ketterdam’s most notorious assassin, and you would not be afraid.*

You advanced towards the door slowly, you wanted to knock but the door was already ajar.

You could do it, you had done so much worse. You took a deep breath before-

You heard voices in his office. You heard him first, talking with a female voice, a voice you didn’t not recogn-

it was Inej’s.

Kaz and Inej were in his office talking. Your instinct was screaming at you to leave and come back later, but curiosity got the better of you.

You stayed, you tried to understand what they were saying, but you couldn’t. Slowly the most slowly possible you pushed the door and waited. Kaz and Inej were still talking, you took it as a sign they didn’t hear your presence. You weren’t Ketterdam’s best assassin for nothing. You took a silent step and looked at Kaz’s office.

You didn’t expect what you saw.

Kaz and Inej were close, too close for your liking, dangerously close. Too close that any of them could bear. So how was it they were here, almost touching each other. You swore Kaz could feel Inej’s breathing on his chin.

Watching them so close together made your heart beating faster. You wanted to scream but no sound came. No explanation came to your mind. Why was Inej here? You tried to focus on the words you heard, but none of them made sense. You were near but you couldn’t hear them clearly, it was as if your brain didn’t want you to eavesdrop. You heard some words like ‘crows’ and ‘family’.

You pushed the door again, without a sound. You leaned on the door and focused on the voices.

“Inej.”

You heard Kaz’s voice as it broke, and you needed to take a glimpse at what was going on right now. You took a deep breath and looked at them. Kaz’s gloved hand was on Inej’s shoulder. They were staring at each other like nothing else mattered in the entire world. Even if you were not close, you could decipher Inej’s surprise at Kaz’s sudden touch.

”Let me go, Kaz.”

Kaz removed his hand, and an ounce of sadness and rejection passed on his face.

“We need you, here.“

You watched as Inej shooked her head.

“Stay, Inej. Stay. Please.”

Her name sounded as a prayer in Kaz’s lips.

”I can’t, Kaz, and you know why.“ She whispered.

“We need you, Inej, please. We- I... I need you.“

Without noticing, Kaz caught Inej’s arm with his gloved hand, preventing her from leaving.

You couldn’t see them clearly; the door was blocking your path. You tried to lean on a bit further but failed miserably. Why did you push your luck? Your whole body had been trembling the whole time, even with the multiple tries to steady your heartbeat and calm yourself. The door opened slightly, and your face was greeted by the floor.

All you felt was numbness, shock and realization. Kaz and Inej were staring at you in wonder. You could already feel Kaz’s grave gaze at you.

“What? Did you never see someone fall before?“ You questioned, trying to hide your discomfort.

Feeling ashamed, you stood up awkwardly and crossed Kaz’s eyes.

“Y/N.“ Kaz declared.

You nodded.

“It’s not what you think.” Inej replied immediately, trying to maintain her composure.

Kaz was leaning on his cane, and his eyes never left your form.

”Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. I won’t tell a soul. Keep going. I am leaving right now.” You gestured to the door and fled.

”Y/N, wait.“ Kaz said.

You ran through the Crow Club, not caring what the Dregs thought.

”Y/N!” Jesper screamed, hoping to catch your attention.

Why were you running?

Kaz followed after you, even if his leg hurt. He tried to, but you were too fast for him. After all, you were an assassin. A clumsy one at that...

You didn’t care. You ran until your lungs couldn’t bear the feeling, until your knees broke under the weight of your exhausted body. But where could you go in Ketterdam? A place where no Dreg could ever find you.

You knew the perfect place.

Months ago the Crows had gone on an heist with your help. The goal was simple, Kaz had said: ‘we enter, we take the painting, and we leave unnoticed’. He had insisted on the word ‘unnoticed’ looking specifically at Jesper. You had agreed to help them steal the damn painting if it pleases them. Truth be told you couldn’t say no to more Kruge. When you entered the grim manor Kaz had depicted, you noticed how silent and peaceful it was. No soul lived here. Was it the place where the painting was hidden? Maybe Kaz had made a mistake. But he had confirmed it was here. The manor was abandoned long ago by a duke trying to escape his demons. That’s all Kaz had told you, and you hadn’t asked for more at the time. Now you wished you had, because you were headed towards the old manor. A place where just the ghosts could disturb you. Ghosts were better than men, right? Better than some Bastard of the Barrel.

It could be the only place where you could scream and cry without someone noticing Ketterdam’s best assassin being vulnerable. Sometimes being the greatest assassin was a weakness, a weakness you couldn’t afford. It meant never showing too much emotion, never crying in front of your enemies... Wait. Was Kaz your enemy?

You didn’t know anymore. Falling in love was a weakness. Something not allowed in the dangerous streets of Ketterdam, a feeling that would destroy everything if not careful. In fact, love was a weapon, and if not used with parsimony and care, it could kill you.

You broke in the manor, remembering the precise path you used last time and found the closest room, the one you had discovered and found surprisingly pleasing. And strangely peaceful.

You closed the door, and sat on the floor, your body curled up, hands around your knees. You tried to forget the memories with the Crows and Kaz, but it was too much. You remembered your times with Jesper talking about guns, the hours eating waffles and ice cream with Nina, the walks with Wylan, the looks of approval coming from Matthias, and this cane... The cane you would never forget, even if you wanted to. You remembered the day when you had ended up wounded after eliminating a slaver. You were injured, sitting on the cold pavement. You were trying to catch your breath before escaping, but you had felt a soft but firm tap on your thigh. And without looking, you knew who it belonged to.

It was the Bastard of the Barrel.

He wanted you to think he was invisible, and unpredictable, but what he didn’t know was that long before killing the man, you knew Dirtyhands had followed you.

“Enjoyed the show, didn’t you?” You had questioned, showing your white teeth that must have been covered in blood.

That was the day when he had asked you to join the Crows, and since you had nothing more to do, you had accepted, already thinking about the free drinks you would benefit at the Crow Club.

You also remembered the day when you had wanted to leave the Crows because of some decision Kaz had made. You were angry and had prepared everything to leave in the morning. However, Kaz had watched you wrapping your clothes with a spectacular meticulousness, and had whispered:

“Stay. Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me, Y/N.”

And you had stayed. Of course. When Dirtyhands asked you to stay, you stay. The morning he had woken up at dawn in case you wanted to leave without saying goodbye. He had found you in your usual attire, your knives and guns on your waist.

“You did not leave?”

He had asked, almost as a prayer.

”No. Something keeps me in Ketterdam.”

Kaz had said nothing, but you swore you had seen a grin on his lips this day.

You also remembered the day when you had been badly injured to save Nina from a fatal injury. You had been severely hurt; you weren’t even able to stand up. You remember watching the pitiful looks of the Crows at your broken body sprawled on the ground. Deep down you knew you were now a liability for the Crows, and especially for Kaz, so you had told them to leave you here, and escape before the men you had stolen from were back. You knew the risks and costs of each heist, and already accepted your fate.

Kaz had none of it. He had ordered Matthias to carry you, while Nina would tend to your wound as much as she could and control your heartbeat. Jesper would protect your backs, while Inej was sent to scan the path, and look for any danger. You would never forget the look Kaz had given you when he told you to rest for months if needed and had given you a room close to his own in the Crow Club.

Later, you had asked him why he had saved you instead of leaving you to perish. He had said with conviction:

”We are Crows, Y/N, we never leave our own behind.”

That was all of his qualities and flaws that made you love Kaz Brekker. He was broken, but you had always been a sucker for broken things to tend to. You had offered him everything an assassin could possess: your loyalty, your weapons, your ability to kill, and your heart, ready for the taking...

But now you remembered the sentence Dirtyhands had told you a week ago, telling you all you had to know about what you were to him, and what you could be.

”You’re my greatest investment, Y/N. Don’t fail me. “

He had told you once what you were to him, but you hadn’t listened, you had fallen in love, and now you knew. You knew you had always been an expensive investment, but only that, nothing more.

You had been his greatest investment, and that was all...

———-

Tell me what you thought about this one! I am seriously considering writing a part 2! Likes, shares and comments are appreciated, it makes my day, I really need it!

———

If you liked this fanfiction, you’ll love this one, it also has the word ‘investment’ in the title like this one:

⬇️ ⬇️

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz x you #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #dirtyhands #kaz brekker x you #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz brekker fanart #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker x inej ghafa #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz rietveld #kaz x inej #kaz brekker art #inej ghafa #inej ghana #soc inej #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fandom #six of crows jesper #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #jesper x wylan #jesper and inej #inej gafha #inej fanart #six of crows fanfiction

[authorred]

To Love Kaz Brekker | Kaz Brekker x fem!Reader | Shadow and Bone | Part 2

Masterlist

Preface: A botched solo mission leaves you injured and forced to kill to escape. You enter the Crow Club in a hurry and don’t talk to anyone. You isolate yourself in your room so you can fix yourself, but someone decides to make his presence known outside your door.

Kaz Brekker is a different kind of ‘love from a distance’ yk

Part 1 Part 3

Warning(s): Mild injuries, mentions of blood, description of injuries

Tags: Softcore pining, awkward interaction, losers in love

To love another is no easy feat. It takes patience and trust. Respect and compassion. To be able to wait for someone through a finite storm is an ability not everyone has, nor wants. But you have it. And you’ll wait through any severity of weather, even if there’s no promise of a rainbow at the end.

Hobbling to your room like a battered old woman, you made sure to cover yourself with a cloak you took off a merchant before your arrival. Jesper and Inej observe you skirt around the Crow Club, hugging the side walls before scurrying up to your room. The sharpshooter and wraith share a look before shrugging. They’ll check in on you later and they know better than to annoy a heartrender.

You shrug off your outer clothes and examine your wound through the shredded fabric of your shirt. Some shitbag nailed you right in the torso with a bullet. Luckily, he didn’t hit anywhere vital, but it still hurt, and you’re still bleeding. With a soft grunt you untie your shirt and carefully peel it away from your body. A clean entry wound presents itself at the front of your torso and you’ve no doubt the exit wound looks worse.

With a sigh, you carefully sit down on a chair, grunting lightly when you irritate the injury. Looking down at yourself, you carefully start to weave your tissue and muscles back together, face cringing lightly from the feeling. It didn’t hurt because you were blocking pain receptors, but it felt weird to your other nerves. The squirming and sewing-together of your insides felt equivalent to sliding your hand through a large trough of mucus-covered meat. You wanted to shiver but you couldn’t. 

Sewing together your entrance wound took an agonizingly long time. If it was on someone else, you could’ve done it in ten minutes. Perhaps it was due to the fact there’s no rush; you’re safe in the Crow Club (hopefully). The real issue is trying to do the exit wound, which is almost directly behind you. You’ll need mirrors and very flexible shoulders.

Standing and shuffling around your room, you manage to assemble a doable set up--with a standing mirror behind you and a wall mirror in front of you. You adjust both to be able to see your exit wound--which is as gnarly as you thought. You sigh deeply and bring your arms behind your back, attempting twist your wrists so your palms are facing your body. You succeed, but it’s extremely uncomfortable, and you already hurt from being shot.

That’s when you hear it. A strong, steady heartbeat outside your room. No one announces themself--no one knocks--but they’re standing there. You know who it is. You know why they’re there.

“Kaz,” you call out. “People can suffer in silence, you know. You have to see them to know if they’re okay.” A few seconds pass and you know Kaz is thinking. You turn your head to the door when it slowly starts to creak open. 

When Kaz opens the door enough to walk into your room, he immediately looks to the side when he sees you in undergarments. You can see him swallow nervously and his heart picks up speed a little. 

You look back at your reflection. “You should be coming up with a new plan with Inej and Jesper. I didn’t fail, but I did alarm. And that’ll cause problems.”

“The planning can wait until you’re fixed.”

“I’m already halfway there.” Your wrists and hands flex uncomfortably when you move them, soft grunts leaving you. “I’ll be patched up by the time you’re done.”

Kaz sneaks a glance at you, eyes lingering on the wound you’re trying to patch up. Then his gaze moves to your arms and hands, which are in a specific position that makes you look like a demon’s possessed you. You’re succeeding; he can see your wound being manipulated and the hole getting smaller, but you’re struggling. Swallowing, he takes an unsteady step forward until he finds himself traipsing over to you.

You pause your heartrending when you see his reflection standing behind yours. You blink, then slowly turn your head to look at him. “What? You can’t help with this.”

He’s struggling to keep your gaze as it switches between your eyes and down at your arms. Picking up his cane to hold between his arm and side, he slowly reaches out to gently press his gloved hands against your arms.

Your brows scrunch when you’re trying to figure out what he’s doing. He’s not grabbing your arms, rather he’s supporting them. He’s taking tension from your shoulders.

You turn your head back around and continue to heartrend yourself, having an easier time than before. You’re painfully aware of his close proximity to you--you’re insanely aware of his physical contact as well. You can feel him shaking and you can hear his heart racing.

“You don’t have to do this,” you say quietly. “Your heart is racing. Please move away if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine,” his response is slightly forced and shaky. “Stop listening to my heart and focus on fixing yourself.”

You sigh softly and try your best to fix yourself as fast as you can. You cringe lightly when you reach a particularly painful part of your body where you didn’t block the pain receptors. You let out a strained grunt in response and you can see Kaz’s eyes look at you in concern from the mirror.

“I’m fine,” you quickly say. “It just hurt a little. I’m almost done.”

Kaz nods and looks back down at your hands and back, silent.

You’re done in two minutes and as soon as you are, you move away from him to keep him from being uncomfortable. You turn to him and smile softly. “You didn’t need to do that. I would’ve managed.”

Kaz places his cane back on the floor and leans on it. “You got done faster though, didn’t you?”

You stare at him for a moment before nodding. “I suppose I did. Thank you.”

Kaz attempts a small smile, but it’s almost indiscernible--it looks like a weird wince. “We meet at the bar in ten.” He turns and walks to the door. “Jesper and Inej are wondering if you’re okay.”

“Tell them I’m fine and I’ll be down in five.”

Kaz nods, not turning to look at you. He closes the door on his way out and you can hear his heartbeat move farther and farther from your room.

You notice how it’s faster than before.

You notice how yours is faster than his.

Ah, yes. To love Kaz Brekker is no easy feat.

#shadow and bone #kaz #kaz brekker #Female reader #fem reader #freddy carter #inej #inej gafha #inej ghafa #kaz and jesper #jesper fahey #six of crows #pekka rollins #romance #pining #kaz x you #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz x y/n #reader insert #x reader #reader imagine

[frost-queen]

To return to the barrel (Reader x Kaz Brekker)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic,@merlin-dahlia , @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve , @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko , @bubblybrianna , @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernameis,  @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @swampthing07

Summary: Reader left the crows due to an argument with Kaz Brekker up till the point she even fled Ketterdam. Word of your return reaches his ears, making him hasten himself to search for you. When he finds you, he corners you, telling you that he wants you. You who are still wary of how you left things with him ask how he would want you. Driven to insanity, he pushes you against the wall with a steamy hot kiss.

Ketterdam was pouring. Rain falling down in thick droplets on the cobble stone. Puddles of dirty water scattered around. Boys running for safety as their feet made the water splash up. Murmured commotions deafened out by the sound of heavy rain. Droplets like bullets firing down. The heaviest of rain Ketterdam has seen in a few months. A wind from the bay came picking up, changing the course of the rain. Clattering against the window with loud ticking sounds. On the other side of the window was it warm.

A fire crackling in the fireplace. A few candles providing light in the dimly light room. Kaz Brekker, the boy of the barrel, dirty hands staring thoughtfully out of the window. Watching the streets empty, running away from the rain. His hand clenched firmer around the crow’s head. His eyes focused into the distance, his mind zoning out from this reality. Thinking back about a different time. Where the crows had another member before it all went down.

Midday. The sun shining highly and warm. Kaz Brekker’s cane tapping loudly against the cobble stones. His head turned to the side, smirking. You matching his pace, staring fiercely in front of you. The sudden awareness of his heart thumping loudly in chest. Kaz swallowed, moving his gaze forwards. The two of you walked past the menagerie, barely giving it a glance. You moved a bit aside when Kaz came walking closer to you. Frowning he led you to walk more towards the center of the street then the sides.

Away from the menagerie as if he feared something. Glancing upwards you saw a girl peek through the curtains of the upper level. You quickly looked away as there was nothing you could do about it. Kaz reached for his inside pocket, pulling out a paper. He held it out for you to take. You took it, opening it to read. – “This contains a list of requirements I need.” – he said, pointing subtilty with his cane into the direction of an alleyway.

You went along, moving away from the main street. – “Where do I require a frog?” – you asked him bluntly. He smirked. – “You are resourceful. You’ll find a way Y/n.” – he answered. You rolled the paper back up to hide in your clothing. – “I’ll need by the end of the day.”

“You have till the sun sets.” – he insisted making you exhale loud. He chuckled turning around as you had come to a stop. – “Watch the clock Y/n.” – he said smiling. You stared warningly at him. Kaz turned back around as he left. You went a different direction in to require the items of need for him. You first went for the easier tasks such as requiring rope, a few uniforms and knives. The difficult task laid in requiring a frog. For whatever Kaz needed a frog was a mystery to you. The sun was already lowering as the clock was ticking.

Lifting the hem of your dress up, you stepped into the mud. Where mud and water was, there would be frogs. Your shoes squeaked with each step through the mud. Finding it slightly disgusting you knelt down, knee deep in the mud. With your hands you dug through the mud in search for a frog. The icky content smearing your limbs. Not to mention the smell was anything but pleasant. The sudden click of a gun made your eyes widen.

“Look what we have here.” – a voice came through, emerging in front of you. Pekka Rollins. He whistled at you with a nod, making you lift your hands up in defense. The point of the gun pressed hard against the back of your head. Pekka motioned for you to stand as you did, slowly. – “Looking for frogs as well?” – you said jokingly. Pekka chuckled humorously before his smile dropped. – “I’m here for you, little crow.”

You were forced forwards to meet up with Pekka. Stepping out of the mud, already covered. Pekka pulled out a handkerchief to block out the smell coming from you. – “My perfume not to your liking?” – you teased, receiving a blow against your stomach from another employee. You doubled over, reaching for your stomach. Two employee’s grabbed you by the arms, holding you upright. – “I know Brekker has been poking around in my business.” – he told you. – “I’m not Brekker.” – you answered boldly.

Pekka curled up a grin. – “Indeed, but you could deliver a message.” – your eyes widened, knowing what it meant. To be fair you didn’t even know Kaz had been poking around in Pekka’s business. None of the crows knew. You heard the click of the gun getting off the safety pin behind you. Pekka truly was going to have you shot in cold blood. You had to act fast and now or your brains would be laying in the mud.

You elbowed the guy in the guts, grabbing for his gun. He wasn’t letting go as the other two grabbed you again. They started pulling you from him. With a kick, your feet knocked the gun out of his hand. Dropping into the mud. Quickly you shoved some mud over it, so it disappeared through the filth. You received a few hits while struggling to get free.

The third one pulled out a knife, cutting at you. You could avoid it, hands finally released from your capots. – “Kill her!” – Pekka ordered ruthlessly watching from a distance. Keeping a close eye on the three men, you raised your fists. The first one came your way as you elbowed him. Tackling him into the mud. The second one approached as you collected some mud in your hand. Throwing it in his eyes, you blinded him. Seeing him wave his hands desperately around.

The third one came in by surprise slicing his knife against your skin. You called it out, a cut having formed on your arm. Blood turning darker as you pressed your muddy hand against the wound. They were too many for you to take on. A right hand crashed with your jaw, making you fall down into the mud. The filth splashing up. Nearby you heard a frog croak. Seeing the little eyes in the mud. You reached for it, clenching it between your hand, just in time as one of the men pulled at your ankle. You screamed it out, grasping desperately for grip. He turned you around as you kicked him in the face.

Getting up you made an escape for it. Flinching at a gun firing your way. Pekka rollins had drawn his gun, shooting at you. – “You got no where to run girl!” – he said loudly. Panting you disappeared, avoiding getting hurt in the process. You ran through streets, wounded. The frog feeling slippery in your hand. Above you noticed the sun had almost set. Panting loud, you ran to the crow’s club. Driven with loyalty and eagerness.

The doors swung open as you were out of breath. Jesper and Inej jumping surprised up. – “Saints Y/n is that you?” – Inej asked seeing how barely recognizable you were from the mud. Jesper coughed loud, waving his hand in front of his nose. – “Is that smell coming from you Y/n?” – he questioned. You walked up to the bar, dropping the frog in an empty glass. – “Is… is that a frog?” – Jesper asked confusingly as you set something on the top so it couldn’t hop out. – “Where is Kaz?” – you wanted to know. – “The back.” – Inej told you.

You nodded, walking past them, leaving muddy prints on the flooring. You made your way to the back, pressing your hand against the wound on your arm. You found him in the storage room. He smiled upon your arrival. – “I knew I could count on you.” – he said. – “Did you poke in Pekka’s business without telling us?” – you shouted at him. Kaz got startled by your loud voice, catching him off guard. He tensed his jaw. – “What significance does it have?” – he answered. – “It has when it affects us too!” – you stepped closer.

“What do you…” – his eyes widened briefly noticing how you clutched onto your arm. A wetness dripping through your fingers. – “What did he do!” – Kaz wanted to know. – “What did you do!” – you fired right back at him. – “This is on you Kaz!” – you accused him, making him look shamefully away. – “I can’t understand your craving for vengeance with Pekka. Tell me what is going on. It is undeniable you go mental each time Pekka’s name is mentioned. Tell me why you have it out for him.”

Kaz remained silent. – “Anyone who is close to you is in constant danger!” – you moved up to him as Kaz backed away to the wall. – “You would rather burn down cities then release your demons!” – you were infuriated with him. – “The city is burning Kaz, and you are the only one who don’t seem to see it!” – you pushed your hand firmly against his side, startling him. – “Stop this madness now before you get us all killed!” – Kaz’s expression hardened. – “Never!” – he spoke ruthlessly back, gaining back his strength.

“Pekka is mine to deal!” – he made clear. – “If the crows fall it is on you!” – you shouted back. – “The crows know the risk! Just as much as you do Y/n!” – He said loudly making you stumble back. – “I’ll have Pekka burn for all of Ketterdam to see and I won’t stop till I have achieved that.” – you lowered your gaze feeling as if this is a battle you had already lost. – “At what cost? How much more lives will you destroy to have it your way… Tell me what Pekka has done to you. I am hating the secrecy between you and me. I thought we made that clear.” – you said. Kaz held his tongue only staring intensely at you. You took a deep breath, untensing your muscles. – “Then you leave me no choice.” – Kaz barely moved when you ran out. Leaving the crow’s club for good.

Kaz took a deep breath. Reflecting back on that specific day where he pushed you away. If only he had been honest with you, you would still be around. An ache in his heart he can’t deny any longer. He moved his other hand over the one holding his cane, tensing his grip around it. Heart yearning for your presence once more. A sudden strike of pain hit him in the chest, making him press his gloved hand against the window. Breathing loudly at what ached his heart. Your name burning on his lips.

In the reflection of the glass he saw the fire burning of the candles. It made his widen his eyes. Watching the reflection of it flicker on the horizon of Ketterdam. Looking quickly over his shoulder, he couldn’t watch it. He let the city burn at the cost of you. There was a knock on the door, making him straighten his posture. It was Inej taking upon briefly his character. Kaz took a deep breath, brushing his hair back. – “Yes.” – he said coldly. Inej swallowed brief sensing something was tormenting him. – “She’s been spotted in Ketterdam.” – Inej told him as his eyes widened.

“Y/n is back in Ketterdam.” – Inej barely had spoken out the words as Kaz got in motion. He pushed past her out of his office, downstairs. Jesper sat at the bar, quirking his eyebrow up. – “Boss?” – he jumped up when Kaz made his way to the front door. – “Where are you going?” – he called out. Jesper sat down when Kaz clearly wasn’t going to respond. Kaz faced the rain. Making his way through the streets of Ketterdam in search for you.

You were still at the docks, shielding under a clearance for the rain. Your first time back in Ketterdam after months of being away and the weather was already against you. Taking a deep breath you watched as the crew was unloading the last of the ship. You weren’t even sure why you were back in Ketterdam after being away for so long. Whatever madness drove you back to the barrel. From the side you heard loud tapping making you widen your eyes. Kaz Brekker emerging from around the corner standing face to face with you. If he felt gratitude or relief, he barely showed it.

You shook your head, not wanting to have a go at it again. – “No… not you.” – you said backing away. Kaz moved closer, drawing in closer. He wouldn’t let you leave, forcing you against the wall. He cornered you, pressing his hands firmly against the wall beside your head. You sucked in a breath at how close he suddenly was. Kaz staring intensely in your eyes as if devouring you whole. – “I want you!” – he said loudly hearing his heart beat out of control. Pulsating through his veins in his palms.

“And how will you have me Kaz Brekker?” – you responded keeping your stare up. – “As collateral damage?” – you whispered letting your gaze go towards his lips. – “A crow?” – you added wetting your lips. Kaz swallowed nervously, breathing shallow against your skin. His senses itching with hunger for you. – “How would you like me?” – you whispered. Kaz couldn’t hold himself back anymore, tilting his head down till he smacked his lips against yours. Your back pressed firmer against the brick wall. – “I’ll have you as mine.” – he spoke briefly having retracted his lips from yours. Grabbing you by the chin, he forced his lips on yours once more. Kissing them deeply with the burning passion inside of him.

You kissed him back, hotness on your lips. Wrapping your arms around him, you moved away from the wall. Turning around you switched places with Kaz whilst still kissing. Stepping from under the clear, getting into the rain where you immediately got cooled down. The steamy kiss was building up in warmth that took a cooling under the rain, arms moving down to his arms.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

#imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fandom #imagine shadow and bone #shadow and bone #imagine kaz brekker #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagines #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #the crows #six of crows fic #six of crows fanfiction #six of crows #fanficiton #fanfic #ficf #freddy carter

[hottpinkpenguin]

Kaz brekker with the Nightmares end eventually prompt? Male/gender neutral reader if possible and romantic! If you do it then thank you!

A/n: I always love my first fic for a new character, so thank you anon for putting Kaz Brekker on my list!! this is a tad cheesier than my normal fare but i think our brooding boy Kaz needs a little romance in his life, so here it is. Hope you love it<3

Nightmares Kaz Brekker X GN!Reader WC: 2,031 Content Warnings for: depictions of violence, dead bodies, gore; probably some non-canon details

Kaz’s legs grew heavy and stopped kicking, his back end sinking into the cold waters of Ketterdam’s harbor. Behind him, the rank stench of rotting corpses from the Reaper’s Barge hung like a cloud in the air. The lights of Ketterdam bobbed on the horizon ahead like a beacon, but it seemed with each moment Kaz was drifting further away from the shore. His fingers fumbling to grab hold of his dead brother’s jacket for flotation. He gulped at the night air in the rare moments where his head broke the surface of the waves. The salt water stung the open sores on his face and hands, his body weak from sickness and hunger. The only thought in his mind: swim. 

Trying to stifle a wave of nausea, Kaz grabbed ahold of Jordie’s bobbing corpse and hauled himself as far upward above the waves as he could manage. Kaz let out a strangled sob as his brother’s dead-pale face sank an inch below the water, his lifeless eyes gaping up at the starless sky above. 

“Jordie.”

Kaz choked on his brother’s name, grief and horror twining together in his chest like strangling vines. He tried to push away thoughts of giving up, of letting go of Jordie’s corpse and allowing the sea to take him. 

But something deep within him burned hotter than the firepox that riddled his body. A drive to live, to fight, to survive. Kaz had always had it - he got it from Jordie, he knew. Jordie had taught him how to fight back when the world threatened to crush you. Kaz heard his older brother’s voice echo in his mind: swim, Kaz. 

His vision swam with white dots, but he forced himself to kick his legs, though they felt heavy like anchors. 

Swim, Kaz. Swim. The feel of his brother’s unnaturally stiff, cold skin beneath the thin, water-logged linen shirt seared itself into Kaz’s memory. 

Swim. Kick. Breath. Swim. Kick. Breath.

The lights of Ketterdam drew closer. 

Kick. Kick. Swim.

The faint sounds of the docks tickled his ears. Kaz’s lungs were burning, the firepox that had weakened him and taken his brother’s life making one last, desperate attempt at his strength.

Breath. Kick. Breath. Kick.

Kaz felt his leg bounce off the ragged surface of a rock. The sounds of waves lapping on a rocky coast announced his arrival at the shores of Ketterdam.

Kick. Kick. Kick.

As soon as Kaz felt the pebbles scrape his stomach, he threw himself off his brother’s dead body and emptied his stomach in the sea foam. His head spun with exhaustion, fever, and terror. Next to him, he felt his brother’s body bob against him in the waves. Kaz scrambled away from the feeling, the terror reaching a fever pitch in his mind as he began to understand what he’d done. 

He turned to look back at Jordie, now face-down in the ankle deep waters along Ketterdam’s warehouse district seawall. Jordie’s stiff body was so pale it seemed to shimmer with an unnatural, sickly glow. Kaz shivered violently as panic ripped through every inch of him. Mustering all his strength, he tipped his chin towards the sky and shrieked. He screamed for everything in his life he’d once thought would keep him safe: for Jordie, for his parents, for the world he thought he knew. The shriek felt like it would tear him in half, and Kaz let himself empty the pain he felt inside into the raw dark night. When the scream finally died on his lips with a strangled sob, what was left of the boy that had been Kaz Rietveld knew he would never be the same again…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Kaz felt himself rear up out of bed, his heart racing and that shriek from so many years before fading like an echo in his ears. He was panting, his body soaked with sweat. He swiped back the stray strands of hair plastered to his flushed forehead with a gloved hand. 

“Kaz?”

A familiar voice drifted through the barely open door to his private quarters above the Crow Club. Kaz felt the knot of panic in his chest loosen slightly at the sound. 

“Kaz, are you alright?” 

Ever respectful, you didn’t barge through the door to check on him, although Kaz could hear the tense itch of concern in your voice. Kaz let his eyes close as he tried to clamp down the lid on his memories. 

“I’m fine,” he called back, although his voice wavered pathetically. There was a split second of quiet before you replied.

“Nightmares, boss?”

The question was so quiet Kaz almost didn’t hear you. He let out a shaky exhale through lips that quivered ever so slightly. A gentle tap on the door: a question. 

“Come in, y/n.”

Kaz wasn’t used to letting people into his quarters. Even Inej and Jesper, his closest friends - if Kaz Brekker could be said to have such relationships - were rare guests. Kaz didn’t like that he let you in, but you felt like a tonic. It wasn’t a coincidence that Kaz had asked you to take night watches for him. Your presence seemed to ease a pain Kaz had felt for so long he’d forgotten he had it. And on nights like this one - nights where Kaz’s dreams swallowed him whole and spat him back out - he needed you close. He’d never admit it aloud, although he didn’t need to. There was an understanding between you two, a tacit agreement. You’d stay close to him, he’d look after you. 

You opened the door and slipped in, a momentary brightening from the hallway lights followed by the return of darkness to Kaz’s quarters. 

“They were bad tonight.” Not a question, but an observation. Kaz looked over in your direction as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could barely make out your silhouette, although he could see the moonlight from his open window dancing in your large, thoughtful eyes. Damn those eyes, Kaz cursed to himself silently. They would be his undoing. 

“Yes.” 

Kaz never talked much about his dreams, even to you. He was grateful that you were content with what little information he did give. He had a feeling that you recognized just how difficult it was for him to tolerate the miniscule amounts of vulnerability he allowed you to see. 

From the doorway, you nodded. You didn’t move to come closer to Kaz, and he didn’t motion for you to. You were close enough for Kaz to hear your even, steady breathing. He focused on that sound and tried to slow his own inhales and exhales to match. Even though it violated every instinct he had, Kaz let his eyelids flutter close. You hung back next to the door. The sounds of the sleeping city outside filled the quiet. Minutes passed, and Kaz let his mind loosen its grip on the fear that his nightmare had awoken. 

When he opened his eyes, he found you exactly where he’d left you. Leaned against the wall, your kind eyes still trained on him. Kaz scooted up to lean back against the headboard, his bare chest now rising and falling in time with your own breathing. 

“You have nightmares too, if I remember?” 

Kaz caught the flicker of surprise in your gaze. Kaz usually never talked on nights like this, not unless you asked him something. Not only was he speaking, he was asking about you. Surprise gave way to a tender smirk, and you nodded.

“I did. Still do, but they’re less now.” Flickers of moments from your past that plagued your dreams danced in your head. A field of charred bodies… your sister in her favorite day dress lying face down in the blood-soaked mud next to the smoking remnants of your house… the way the smoke from your burned-out village blotted out of the sun… 

You shook the images away like gnats, bringing yourself back to the moment, back to Kaz. 

He was watching you intently. His dark hair was deliciously disheveled, and you could see the smooth planes of his stomach peeking out above the bedsheets.

“How did you do it?” he asked quietly. You forced yourself away from his body and tried to focus on his words, realizing you’d lost track of the conversation. You cocked an eyebrow at him, unsure of his meaning. 

“How did you cope with them, I mean,” Kaz clarified. “How did you get them to go away?” A gentle night breeze fluttered the gauzy curtains by the window next to his bedside. 

You turned Kaz’s question over in your head, wondering where to start.

“They never really went away,” you confessed, chewing on your lip. You’d resigned yourself long ago that you’d live the rest of your life with memories of the day your family was taken from you carved into your soul. It wasn’t something you would escape or ever come to terms with. It simply was. 

You tried to say as much, but the words that dangled on the edge of your tongue felt all wrong. Your mouth opened and closed with a heavy sigh. 

Kaz’s lips quirked up at the sound. He turned to look out into Ketterdam’s streets, the moonlight casting his handsome face in a gentle glow. 

“That’s not a fair question,” he mused with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m sorry to bother you, y/n. I’m fine. You can go back to your post.” 

You felt a twinge of disappointment at Kaz’s words, although they were less of a dismissal and more of a question. You turned to leave, but hesitated as your hand touched the doorknob. 

When you turned back to him, he was staring at you with something that looked like hope in his eyes. It made your heart leap in your chest. 

“One thing I learned about nightmares, boss. Even nightmares end eventually.” 

Kaz considered your words thoughtfully. You held his gaze as you kept talking. 

“The things that gave us our nightmares ended, too. It doesn’t mean we forget them, it doesn’t mean we move on. But it does mean that we aren’t prisoners forever. The dreams, the memories… they’re with us, but they don’t control us. They teach us things, but they don’t command us.”

Kaz drank in your every word, watching the way your expression glazed over as whatever memories haunted you swam just beneath the surface of your eyes. He knew that look: he’d seen it in himself many times before. The way you wore it though was different. He marveled at the realization that he’d never really seen you before. He’d felt you, felt the calming effect that your presence had on him. But now he could see why: you understood him. As much as anyone could. Kaz had always liked to think that others only knew him as much as he let them know him. You were proof that that wasn’t true. It both frightened him and delighted him. 

“Sorry… that didn’t make much sense.” You let your eyes drop to the ground, suddenly embarrassed by your outburst. You turned to the door, eager to make your escape from the awkward moment. 

“It makes perfect sense, actually,” he interjected quickly. You hesitated, halfway out the door into the dimly lit hallway. With the aid of the lamps from the hall, Kaz could see you more clearly. He thought he detected a faint flush on your cheeks, and he had to bite down a smirk at the sight. He was glad the light didn’t reach him, because you’d see a similar heat on his face. He’d taken a big step with you tonight, but he wasn’t ready to show you how he felt. Not yet. 

“Thank you, y/n,” he called after you. 

You turned halfway back to him, not meeting his eyes. From your profile, Kaz could see the faint hints of a smile. 

“You’re welcome, Kaz.”

You left him alone with a quiet click of his door. Kaz hated how much he loved the way his name sounded in your voice.

This time when Kaz fell asleep, it wasn’t his past that swirled in his dreams, but hopes for the future.

#kaz rietveld #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz imagine #kaz shadow and bone #bastard of the barrel #kaz dirtyhands brekker #six of crows imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #freddy carter #freddy carter x reader #freddy carter x y/n #freddy carter imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagine

[bubblegumbabycow]

Y/n: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!

Jesper: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from Kaz.

Y/n, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

#jesper fahey #jesper #jesper llewellyn fahey #kaz being kaz #kaz #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #soc #soc incorrect quotes #six of crows #six of crows incorrect quotes #incorrect six of crows #six of crows duology #crooked kingdom #the crows #crows #crow club #the grishaverse #grishaverse incorrect quotes #grishaverse

[theonewithbrooklyn99]

Summer Child

Based on Conan Grey’s song

Everyone thinks your carefree, but Kaz knows different

Kaz x reader

Tw: abuse, self harm

Summer Child

You joined the Dregs when you were 13, right after Kaz. You charmed everyone you met, including Kaz. He wanted to protect you, keep that carefree spirit you had. As you two went on small jobs for Per Haskell, he would watch you dance around, and pick flowers from the cracks in the pavement.

“Why are you so cheerful?” He asked one day.

You shrugged. “Makes life brighter.”

He rolls his eyes and laughed at the way you would stop to talk to everyone, making their day brighter. As the years went by, you and Kaz grew closer and closer.

Now, Kaz is 17, and your 16. He made you his second in command when he made it to the top of the ranks, making you untouchable to all of Kaz’s enemies. As you grew older, your relationship grew as well. Kaz started being able to withstand your touches, and occasionally would give you a kiss or two.

You were sitting in his office reading, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Go to bed.” Kaz says.

You shake your head. “I want to stay up with you.”

Kaz sighs. “fine, let’s both go to to bed then.” He holds his hand out and you grab it. You expect him to bring you to your room, instead he leads you to his bed.

“You sure?” You ask. He nods. You take off your outer layer of your dress, leaving you in your undergarments. Kaz changes into his nightclothes and goes to blow out the candle.

“Wait. Can you keep it lit?” You whisper.

Kaz turns to look at you, questions etched on his face.

“I-I don’t like the dark.” You say. Kaz nods then limps over to the bed, sliding in beside you. You are both on the far ends of the bed, so you don’t touch.

It’s the middle of the summer in Ketterdam and its humid. Everyone is wearing as little layers as possible. Jesper gave up on wearing a shirt most of the time, opting to just wear a vest. Kaz gave up his coat and hat.

You however, still wear long sleeves, ashamed of all the scares on your arms from your father and yourself.

Your sitting outside the Crow Club with Inej and Nina, trying to find a breeze, but it was useless.

“Are you not hot in long sleeves Y/n?” Nina asked.

You smile. “Nina dear, if I was hot don’t you think I would wear something different? I just run colder then most people.” Nina laughs and continues on with her conversation with Inej. You smile along, laugh when appropriate and chime in here and there, but it’s all fake, the sadness of your childhood taking over.

Kaz was watching this whole exchange and saw the darkness behind your smiles and laughs.

Kaz walks outside and calls for you. You follow him inside and he leads you to his office. You both sit on his couch and he starts tracing patterns into your skin.

“What’s the real answer?” He asks.

You turn to him confused. “To what?”

“Nina’s question.” He says.

“Kaz Brekker, we’re you eaves dropping? Rude.”

He chuckles, but looks at you waiting for an answer.

“Give me a sec.” You say. You go to the bathroom, take off the long sleeves blouse you have underneath your corset dress. You walk out rubbing your hands up and down your arms. You look up at Kaz as he walks to you. He traces the scares that litter your arms.

“Who the hell did this? Im going to kill them.” He looks at your with rage.

You shake your head. “My father is responsible for some.” You whisper.

Kaz squeezes your hands.

“But, I escaped so it’s all ok now!” You say smiling up at him. You give him a light kiss then leave him to go start getting the club ready for the night. He notices though that you grab one of his shirts to put on. It hurts him that your father was so mean, but you act like everything is fine.

Later that night, Kaz watches you work the bar. A smile never leaves your face. You laugh and make small talk with patrons, joke around with the rest of the crows. At the end of the night, he watches as you bring out a plate of waffles to the crows, making sure everyone is feed.

“Y/n, have you eaten?” Inej asks.

You wave her off, “I’ll eat later, I have the whole bar to clean.” Everyone protests, insisting you sit down and eat. You grab a waffle and shove it in your mouth. “See? I ate. Happy?” You ask with a mouthful. Everyone laughs as you walk back to the bar.

He watches you walk behind the bar, and clean the bar with a skip in your step. He notes though, that your face doesn’t hold the same emotion that your voice does, that there is a sadness behind your eyes that he wants to wipe away. He shakes his head and walks up to his office, having no idea how to make you happy again.

As you make your way up to your room later that night, your thoughts drift too how your father would make you clean the whole house, then lock you in your room with barely any food. How you got so used to the feeling of hunger you never notice it. And how he would hit you, push you and whip you even though you did nothing wrong.

You go to open the door, when you realize you went to Kaz’s room instead of yours. You turn to leave when Kaz opens the door. He takes in the tears in your eyes and opens his arms for you. You look at him then crash into him letting a few tears escape. He guides you into his room and onto his bed.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says, wiping away the tears.

“I’m fine, just a long day.” You smile.

“That’s a lie.” He looks at you seriously. “Tell me what’s really going on.”

“Nothing really! Just tired. Can we go to bed?” You shift so that you can lie down. Kaz sighs, but doesn’t say more. He blows out all the candles, except for one, then lies beside you.

After a couple minutes of silence, Kaz speaks in the dark. “ you don’t have to act like your feelings are mild. Not around me.”

You shift to look at him. He looks over at you. You take a shaky breath; “um, cleaning the bar tonight just reminded me of my father. He would force me to clean the whole house, then lock me in the attic without food for days. He would also beat me a lot.” You shrug at the last part. Kaz pulls you into a hug. You know he is pushing past his comfort zone hugging you in bed, knowing that you can’t help it if limbs brush against each other. Yet you are so grateful for this hug.

You lean into the hug and sob for the first time in years. Kaz holds you and comforts you until you fall asleep in his arms.

The next morning you wake to a cup of coffee and a plate of waffles beside you. You turn and see Kaz at his desk. “Thank you.”

He turns around. “You’re to busy taking care of others, you forget to take care of yourself. Enjoy the day off.”

You slip out of bed and walk over to him. You look at him for consent to kiss him, and he nods. You kiss him slowly, the pull away to have the breakfast. The rest of the day, Kaz sees your free spirit return as you jump and dance around the club with Nina.

#grishaverse #kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz x you #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz x reader

[writtenmarauder]

Home (Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Kaz and Y/n enjoy their normal life with their kids and found family.

Warnings: None? Perhaps a warning for being pregnant?

Requested: yes: kaz and y/n have kids (taking place years and years later) and we just get family fluff with the crows being amazing uncles and aunts

Masterlists: Master of Masterlists/ Grishaverse Masterlist.

It was early summer and the first warm nights had rolled in which meant little to no sleep for the former ghost of Ketterdam. After a lot of tossing and turning, she sighed and sat up. The little one in her belly started kicking. She smiled and rubbed her hand over her belly.

“I know little one. I feel you.” She whispered.

Her eyes fell on the empty spot in the bed. It wasn’t unusual for Kaz to be up in the middle of the night, but tonight she missed her husband. Slowly she got up from the bed, throwing on one of his shirts. The house was very quiet, not a floorboard or plank moving due to the heat. Y/N krept through the hallway to Kaz’ office. The light was out. She sighed not feeling particularly keen on entering an empty room. She placed her hand against the nearest lightbulb. It hadn’t been on for a while, but it had been on tonight.  

“Kaz?” No response. Y/n made her way down to the living area, but no sign of her husband there either, “Who knew my grumpy husband would be hard to find.”

She walked back up the stairs, wondering where he could be. The last step groaned under her weight. Suddenly soft giggles were heard. The twins, of course. Her lips curled upwards as she approached the room.

“Ssssshhht, Mommy is coming. Hurry!” “Quickly pretend you’re asleep.”

Y/n was waiting in front of the door, trying to contain her laughter. She cracked open the door and saw the twins in their beds, giggles still ensuing. Kaz was laying on the couch passed out. She shook her head and walked in.

“You two should be asleep.” “Sorry, mommy.” Jess smiled. “We couldn’t sleep and Daddy was reading us a story. Then he fell asleep before us.” Jordie smiled. “Really?” “Yes mommy. Look he fell asleep!”  “Shhhht, I can see that baby. He must’ve really wanted to stay.” “Will you stay too?” Jordie asked putting on his best puppy eyes.

When Jess joined him, her heart melted. How could she say no to the 4 year old twins who conquered her heart the moment she led eyes on them. She remembered Kaz needing a little push from Nina to hold them. He had never looked happier holding the warm bundles of joy in his arms.

“Alright I’ll stay, but you’ll have to move over.”

The two were more than happy to follow out this order. They both chose a side to lean up against. It was very cramp, but the trio made it work.

“We also listened to Unca Jesper and put a tiara on daddy. He’s a pretty princess now!” Jordie chuckled. “How about I invite over your aunts and uncles tomorrow?” Y/n chuckled. “Really?” “Do I ever lie to you?” “All the time!” Jess responded. “I do not. Saints you two.” She smiled and tickled them.

Their laughter filled the air as they were enjoying the attention. The baby kicked again. She stopped tickling and tried to sooth the baby by rubbing her belly. Jordie jumped up a little when the unborn baby moved again. It was a perfect outline of a foot.

“Mommy mommy look it’s baby sibling.” he beamed touching her belly. “Indeed. They are turning. Getting ready to meet you two.” “Woah that feels so weird!!” Jordie beamed. “Inside voice, my darling. So we don’t wake daddy. He’s probably very tired.” “Like this.” he whispered. “You’re doing incredible.”

The three of them stayed cuddled up till the sun crept through the curtains. Besides short naps the three didn’t get much sleep. Jordie let out a big sigh and held on to his stuffy.

“Mommy, can we make breakfast for Daddy?” He asked, with Jess immediately backing up this plan.  “Of course we can, let’s put our best sneaking shoes on okay?”

They made their way down the stairs as stealthily as possible. Before they could get started she sent the Dreg, that came by with information, to gather the crows for a little party. He would be rewarded generously for his endeavours.

”What compensation are we talking here?” “100 kruge now and 50 more when you bring them here. Do we have a deal?” “Consider it done, Ma’am.” “Thank you so much.” “You have a good day Ma’am.” “You too.”

Jordie and Jess were waiting impatiently for her to start breakfast.

“Alright. Now that your Aunts and Uncles are on their way. What do we want for breakfast?” “Waffles!!!” They cheered. “Of course. Let me guess neither one of you knows how to make it, do you?”

They shook their head and she let out a sigh. Next thing to do was to find the waffle recipe. She flipped through the cookbook Nina gave Kaz, when she was bedridden. Waffles had to be in here.

“We’ll have to ask, Auntie.” “I can make waffles.” Y/n exclaimed. “Yes, but they might be different than auntie’s waffles and we love those.” “Saints, Nina, what did you start?” “Nothing. Except I make them realize that waffles are the best thing ever and the solution to all your problems.” “Auntie Nina!” The twins shouted and ambushed her with hugs. “Fear not, my loves. I will help with the waffles, but I will need some help, Jess will you help me?” “Yes!!” She cheered.

Jordie kept standing by the door and when Y/n tried to pull him back to the kitchen, he spoke up.

“Auntie, where is unca Matts?” “Oh, he is being a sleepyhead. I think he’s a bear who sleeps through summer.” “Bears sleep through winter!” Jordie laughed. “Very good, little one.” Kaz smiled, leaning against the doorframe. “DADDY!!” The twins shouted and ran up to him. “Careful, my leg is hurting from sleeping on the couch.”

He knelt to the ground and hugged them tight.

“Thank you for staying with us daddy.” “Anytime. I promise to finish the rest of the story tonight. Okay?” “Thank you Daddy!” Jess cheered The door swung open revealing the most envied couple of Ketterdam. “Saints, don’t you look precious, Boss!” Jesper laughed. “What on earth are you talking about?” Kaz looked at his reflexion and saw the tiara, “Who did it? I’m not mad, I just want to know.” “I did it.” Jess smiled proudly. “Oh really? How about I tickle you!”

Jess ran away, laughter filling every corner of their small house. Kaz tried catching up with her and eventually laid down on the ground dramatically conceding the chase. The twins ran to his side and pretended to be healers.

“I feel much better, thank you. Now help an old man up.” Kaz joked. “Oh god, please don’t say you’re old I’m older than you.” Jesper groaned. “I guess that makes you ancient.” Wylan joked. “Wylan, so glad you could make it!.” Y/N smiled. “Hi, how are you?” “Tired, but good. Can’t wait to let this one out of here.” “I can imagine. What like 3 more weeks.” “Yeah, something like that.”

Nina poked her head out of the kitchen, like she was trying to sense something. Y/n felt the room spinning and closed her eyes in an attempt to refocus her body.

“Jesper help Y/n to the couch, now.” Nina commanded.

Jesper spun around just in time to catch his friend. He tried getting a response, but besides a faint one nothing coherent came out. Wylan and Jesper helped her lay down. Kaz sat down and laid her head on his lap. His fingers stroking through her hair. A tense feeling building in his chest. 

“No worries people. Waffles are here to save the day once more.” Nina smiled bringing out a stack of warm pancakes.

She had never been more popular. Jesper handed Kaz a plate with two waffles on them.

“Thank you.” He uttered and helped his wife nibble on the waffle.

Nina quickly came by to check in on her friend.

“Low sugar?” Kaz asked concerned. “Just like last time. So don’t you dare worry. She’s in wonderful hands.” “Please don’t be twins like last time, though.” Inej smiled. “Inej, you made it.” Kaz smiled. “I wouldn’t miss seeing my favourite troublemakers for the world and a little birdie told me there was a party.” “You’re right in time.” Nina smiled brightly pulling her best friend along to the kitchen to gossip and make more waffles.

Everyone was enjoying the waffles Nina made. Some like Wylan and Kaz were taking it slow like they were trying to savour every little moment. Whilst others like Jesper and the twins inhaled it like it was water on a scorching day. Jordie made his way over to Wylan like he was on a mission.

“Unca Wy?” “Yes?” “Will you play something for us, please?” “Of course, Jordie. It would be an honour. to play for you.” “Yaaaay!” “Unca Jesper, will you dance with me?” “But of course! How could I not?”

Kaz smiled at his found family and felt at ease. Y/n sat up and snuggled into his side as she too enjoyed the music Wylan was now playing. Kaz held her protectively.

“You’re still wearing the tiara.” She smiled. “All is as it should be.” Kaz said. “You’re going soft?” “I went soft the day you finally kissed me.” “Finally? You sir were the one calling the shots remember?” “I do remember. You were my personal saint.” “Oh god that was so cheesy.”

The duo laughed and turned back to the group. They were all dancing or making music. Jordie was sitting in Jespers neck to be the tallest dancer and Inej was dancing with Jess. They were happier than ever.

“You know, Kaz, how I used to dream of finding a home?” “It was your biggest dream.” “I found it.” “Home.” Kaz smiled.

Jess wiggled her way to freedom and tried pulling Kaz along.

“Dance with me, daddy!” “Only if you’ll dance with me.”

Jess cheered and the party was a grande succes. It wasn’t provoked with wealth it wasn’t corrupted by rivalry. It was home.

#six of crows #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #Kaz brekker #writing #imagine #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker oneshot

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Gorgeous (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: you get very drunk after being kidnapped and admit something to Kaz.

Trigger warnings: implications of SA, drunken antics

Jesper was beyond exasperated with you. For whatever reason you had drank yourself past your typical cut off point and put yourself into a stupor. You kept throwing back drink after drink until he finally cut you off. You had been so strange after one mission where you winded up being held captive. Kaz and Jesper retrieved you and by the time Jesper had found you, Kaz was standing over six bodies and you looked relieved by his presence. Jesper didn't find that odd, no not in Ketterdam. What he did find odd was your newfound avoidance to go home.

Kaz had finally walked through the door and Jesper ran over. "Kaz, thank the saints." He said relieved. "Didn't take you as religious." Kaz said, walking. "Well- not the point. Y/n is drunk-" Alarm bells went off in Kaz's mind. "She's drunk?" He asked. "Yes-" "she's never drunk." Kaz said, his grip tightening around his cane. "I know that. For some reason she's on this drinking binge and-" Kaz walked over to the bar, seeing play with a peanut shell. "Y/n." Kaz said.

"Kazzz!" You said, drawing out his name. Red graced your cheeks and it became glaringly obvious you were three sheets to the wind. Kaz lifted the empty glass in front of you, sniffing it. Whiskey flooded his sense of smell, making him stifle a cough. "I have been having sooo mush fun!" You said, Kaz raising a brow. You leaned towards him, Kaz moving back slightly. "Your eyez are so pretty!" You said, slurring as you did.

Kaz looked at you surprised. You never paid anyone a compliment, in fact you rarely said anything. "Words are secrets to a fools heart" you once said to him. Kaz didn't mind your quiet demeanor. It was what made you deadly.

To Kaz though, you were more than just a pretty face that could kill. You had this special way of making Kaz actually enjoy your presence. To many, you were an infamous figure. To him you were a beautiful storm.

You reached out your index finger, tapping his nose. Jesper was surprised you didn't lose your hand doing that action. "You are soooo cuttteee!" You giggled. No one had ever said he was cute. Deadly? All the time. An idiot? Most of the time that came from Inej when Kaz narrowly avoided death. Cute, however was unheard of as a category to describe him.

He grasped your hand and pulled it down to the table. "Y/n, we should get you home." He said. "Nooo!" You whined. "Why not?" He asked. "I don't wanna be alone!" You said. "You won't be alone, I'll be there." Kaz said. You looked almost... scared at the idea of going home. "Promise?" You muttered. "Yes. Now come on." He said. You nearly hit the floor, stumbling forward as you got up. Kaz gripped your arms to keep you in place. You looked as Jesper with a grin. "See you tomorrow buddy!" You said giving him finger guns. Inej, who just walked in nearly broke down laughing at the sight.

Kaz had to basically herd you out the door like a common sheep dog. You stumbled outside, Kaz finally putting his hand on your waist when you were out of sight of the gang. "Don't let them near me..." you mumbled. Kaz looked at you. "What?" He asked. "The Lions..." you mumbled. "Y/n, we're just going home, they won't find-" "thass how they got me last time" you said.

Kaz now had it click into place. You didn't feel safe at home anymore. Not after the Dime Lions managed to kidnap you. You stopped, Kaz looking over to see your eyes light up. "Puppy!" You said, seeing a stray dog. You rushed over, kneeling to it and petting it behind the ears. "Ohhh you're so sweettt! Whos a good boy! You! You are!" You slurred. Kaz couldn't help but crack a grin at the sight as he walked over to you and the dog. "Thas Kaz. He's gorgeous isn't he?" You "whispered" to the dog. Right now you were so drunk that your sense of volume was broken. What was a whisper to you was basically normal speech to Kaz.

"He is so good to me. Provides me with a job. Food. And I get to look at his pretty face everyday." You said. Kaz's grin grew. "Ah fuck I'm in love aren't I" you realized. Kaz froze. Sure, there was some undeniable chemistry between the two of you but this... this was big.

"You can't tell anyone. Issa secret. Shhhh!" You said to the dog. Kaz swallowed hard, staring at you. "Y/n we should... we should go." He said. You looked over your shoulder. "Kay. Bye doggy!" You said, walking back to Kaz. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved you back. It was just telling you that that was the challenge. Plus, with your current level of intoxication, he didn't think it wise to say something you wouldn't remember.

You walked into your apartment, Kaz walking in behind you was you leaned against the doorway to your living room. You took off your boots and Kaz looked around, seeing the overturned chair and clearly moved table. "Did someone break in?" He asked. "Yeah. Lass week when I got kidnapped." You shrugged. Kaz looked at you confused. "You didn't set it back?" He asked. You looked at the chair and frowned, eyes distant. "I shouldn't have let my guard down." You muttered before walking upstairs. Kaz put a hand on the chair. "Leave it" you said, not turning to see him.

He stopped, following you up the stairs and watched you lay down. "Oooooh bad choice, really bad choice!" You said, abruptly getting back up and running to the bathroom. Kaz hesitated but followed you in, pulling back your hair as you threw up.

You groaned. "Drugs are bad, don't do them" you said, leaning back onto your wall behind you. Kaz rose a brow, seeing you eye him. You seemed tired and out of it. You shook your head with a sad laugh. "I muss be seriously fucked up to be hallucinating you" you breathed. He frowned. "I'm not a hallucination." He said. You chuckled. "You can't be real." You said. "What makes you say that?" He asked, looking at you. "Cuz you'd never hold my hair while I throw up. And you wouldn't have followed me home in the firss place." You declared. Kaz opened his mouth but you spoke again "My bess guess is that Jesper actually took me home. My mind juss likes you so much that" you tapped his nose again, him looking down at your finger as you did it "your gorgeous face iz juss what I see."

Kaz didn't understand the drunk logic but it seemed he couldn't convince you. You looked vacantly at the ceiling, sighing. "If you aren't real... then I have some things I wanna get off my chest." You said. "I don't think that's a wise idea-" "Sober me would tell the real you these things anyway. Iss only a matter of time." You said. Kaz hated the idea of you not truly consenting to having information shared with him, but it seemed you were deadset on telling him something.

"I wasn't juss attacked that night." You admitted. Kaz looked at you shocked. He knew there was a reason you wouldn't let Jesper touch you that night. He has tried to comfort you, put an arm around you but you put a blade to his neck with a face of fear the second he touched you. It appeared the only person you were fine with was Kaz. "I was going to be killed. That sick fuck that took me asked for my lass words." You said. Kaz watched you look at him. "I asked you for help." You said, clearer than any other speech during the night. No messups, no slurring. Just brutal honesty that was killing Kaz inside.

You put so much faith in him. In your last moments instead of cursing out the man that tortured you or praying to a random saint, you chose to ask Kaz for help. And it worked. That man, the second he found out you were taken, moved heaven and hell to find you. Jesper had never seen someone so panicked. No one's absence would have riled Kaz up that badly. Jesper knew then and there that Kaz would watch the world burn if it meant you'd be safe in the end.

Kaz held your hand and you looked over, a tear sliding down your face. "I'm so scared Kaz." You whispered. He brushed the tear away as you slowly laid your head in his lap. You cried yourself to sleep that night and that nearly killed him inside to see you like that. He played with your hair to get you to sleep faster, which worked.

As the sun rose, Kaz slowly got up. He went downstairs and set everything back the way it should've been and then he saw something odd out the window. The stray dog from last night had followed you home, sleeping outside your door. Then an idea clicked in his head.

You woke up on the floor, confirming your drunk thought that Kaz from last night wasn't real. However his scent was present in the house, which did confuse you. You heard something downstairs and you quickly snatched a blade from under your sink, rushing downstairs to see Kaz. And a... dog?

Kaz turned to see you with the knife and blinked. "I-I thought I was alone." You breathed. "No, uhm... It appears your friend from last night followed us." He said. There was a dog there with his tail wagging. Friend? You didn't recall a dog at all last night. "I don't remember a dog being present last night." You said. "Well you ran up to him last night." Kaz shrugged. You looked confused as Kaz stepped closer to you, taking the knife from your hand. "You are safe when I am here Y/n." He assured.

It felt like a flicker of a memory from last night. You remembered some sort of conversation. "What uhm.. what did I say last night?" You asked. "You didn't say anything too interesting. I mean, besides calling me gorgeous many times." He said. Your face flushed pink and you cleared your throat. "What should we do with the dog?" You asked. Kaz grinned at your slight embarrassment. "I was thinking you'd keep him. He already seems to like you. Plus it'd alert you to danger." He said. You kneeled to the dog and pet him from behind the ears.

You had that smile. That smile that would come out every so often whenever you thought you weren't being watched. Kaz was one of the lucky few that got to see it every so often. "I think I like that idea." You said. Kaz nodded. You looked past him. "You fixed the kitchen?" You asked. "And changed your locks." He said, handing you a key. You took it, looking at him. "Kaz uhm..." he waited for you to talk. "Why are you being so... nice? I mean... why do all this?" You asked. "Because I don't want you to feel scared in your own home." He said.

You looked down at the dog. There was a sadness in your eyes. "I will always come for you Y/n. If you are in trouble and need me, I will be there." He said. You looked at him and another drunk memory flickered. "I mentioned what happened to me, didn't I?" You asked. Kaz nodded. You sighed, sitting on your couch. "I must've sounded like a child." You said. "Not at all." He said, sitting in a chair next to you. The dog laid his head on your lap. "You should fire me. Tell me to leave Ketterdam." You muttered. "Why would I do that?" He asked. "Because you don't pay me to be scared. You- you don't pay me to get drunk or pay me to have you take me home!" You said.

Kaz frowned. "I pay you because you are good at what you do Y/n." He said. "I was kidnapped and had to have you save me. And I reacted afterwards like a child--" "You were hurt and confused Y/n. It wasn't your fault." He said, looking at you. "Yes. It was." You breathed. Kaz took both of your hands into his. When he slipped off those gloves, you didn't know but you were now holding his hands. His soft, beautiful hands. "It wasn't your fault. It never was. They took you because they knew you were vulnerable to me. If anything, what happened was my fault." He said softly.

You trusted this man with your whole being, body and soul. Right now it felt like he was showing you that he trusted you just as much. You'd follow this man to war, you'd sacrifice everything if it meant he'd be safe. You loved him more than anything. You didn't know how to vocalize that to him. You didn't know if you should vocalize that to him.

"I'm only a block away if you need me. All it takes is you calling my name." He said softly. Your heart was melting at his words. You swallowed hard, staring into his eyes when there was a knock on the door. You and Kaz jumped, Kaz immediately sliding his gloves back on. The dog barked and you hesitantly opened the door to see Jesper.

"Thank the saints. You made it home okay?" He asked. You nodded. "Mm. You should really decorate in here, it's kind of... plain." He said. You rolled your eyes. "What do you want Jesper?" You asked. "Y'know, you're a lot more friendly when you're drunk. Isn't that right Kaz?" Jesper asked. Kaz, who was now standing behind you rolled his eyes as well. "I am here to make sure you got home alright- is that a dog?" Jesper asked, seeing the dog by your leg. "Yes." You sighed. "What's his name?" Jesper asked, kneeling to his level. "He doesn't have one yet." You muttered. "Mm. I think Lev is a good name." He said. You said nothing, watching Jesper pet him.

"Well, you're checked on. Kaz is accounted for. All is right in the world and I can go home." Jesper declared before standing up to leave. "Oh and Y/n, don't think you're living down the whole 'gorgeous' thing. Or the fact that you were basically my best friend for the night." He said. "I'm really wishing I killed you when I got the chance." You said making him roll his eyes before he walked out. You closed the door almost immediately and locked it.

"How has that man not been murdered yet?" You asked. "I ask that question to myself everytime he opens his mouth." Kaz said making you smile. You slowly turned to Kaz. "Thanks for taking care of me." You said softly. He nodded. "Anytime." He said. "Really? Because I was thinking of going on another binge-" "Y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. You chuckled. "I appreciate you, thank you." You said. He nodded, reaching for the door. "Y/n. If you need me, come find me. Don't hesitate to ask." He said. You nodded slowly and watched as he finally left.

The feeling of dread returned soon after. You were alone, again. Not completely though, seeing as you now had a dog. You kneeled to the dog, sighing. "Kaz is a good man. We want him. But..." you pet the dog, looking at him with a sad look.

"We can't have him."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows

[omgkatherine01]

Creatures of the Night: Chapter 10 - The Conductor

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9, Chapter 11

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x female reader

Please comment, like and share ❤

"Jesper, new job!" Kaz said as soon as the both of you found him perusing the dim and rain-slicked streets; his back had been turned to you, and you were certain you saw him speaking to somebody who very swiftly disappeared upon the sound of Kaz's voice.

Kaz hardly gave him a glance as he walked past him, "Come along." You rolled your eyes but followed as you tapped on Jesper's arm, and he quickly followed as well.

"She did it again," he muttered. "Did what?" you asked quietly. "Inej was here," he said quietly, "So, where we going?"

You shrugged, "To see someone name Poppy." Jesper paused but quickly returned to walk by your side as he looked at Kaz who was walking ahead, "Oh... that's a joke right?"

You shook your head, "No. Who is this Poppy?" you asked. "A former friend and partner," he answered, "And now they hate Kaz."

"Ha, I wonder why?" you said sarcastically. Jesper took your hand and pulled you quicker with him to Kaz's side. "So!" he started and cleared his throat, "We need a demo man."

"You're still on that?" Kaz asked. Jesper frowned, "I just brought it up tonight."

Kaz shook his head, "Jesper, you ask for an explosives expert on every job."

"Because I don't want to be the one you point to and say, 'Explode something for us'. That is not a Jesper talent. I shoot things with style. And I look good. Just play to my strengths, boss."

"But wouldn't you look really cool with a building exploding behind you?" you asked, "I saw things like that in movies--something from where I came from, it's acting--it was awesome."

Jesper pointed at you, "Now, you, you would look really cool, y/n." You pointed at yourself, "Me?"

"How about we take a vote for y/n to be our new explosives expert?"

"No," you said with a scoff. "Oh, come on," Jesper said, "You'd be a total badass than you are now, and it's definitely will be a hot thing to do."

"Shut up."

"She already has a job," Kaz said as he for some reason glared down, and you followed his glare to Jesper's hand still holding yours without realizing it, and you let go.

"Yeah, I already have a job, and it's my shadow thingy," you said quietly. "Now," Kaz started as he continued forward, "Alina Starkov will be kept at the Little Palace. Entering the Little Palace requires us to be quiet. Blowing something up, we've likely failed."

"Well, we have y/n's shadow controlling job, the job will be easy," Jesper said. "Not enough control," Kaz said, "Anything can go wrong." Jesper frowned, "I think she has enough control, at least I think so. So does Inej. Besides, with y/n's shadows and Inej's skill, both girls together, unstoppable."

You smiled lightly and glanced at Kaz. "What do we do with Inej?" you asked, "Because I already said, if she's not going, I'm not going."

"I remember that," he said. Jesper let out a sigh, "We're at Pekka's turf now," he muttered, "The bouncers will know you on sight."

"That's why I brought you," Kaz said as he looked at him, "Make sure they don't see us." You pointed at yourself and then him as if asking, 'I'm going in with you?'

Kaz nodded for you to follow him and you walked away as you heard Jesper, "Handsome decoy is also not a Jesper talent."

--

You used the dark corroders for you and Kaz to slip in and quickly into a room he said Poppy will be there. "Boris, would you--" You looked over as Kaz stepped to their view and he grinned.

"It's been a while, Poppy," he said. Poppy quickly grabbed a small pistol and you frowned. "I see you're still upset," he said.

"About you stealing my shares of the Crow Club?" Poppy asked sarcastically. "It wasn't stealing," Kaz said, "It was just a raw deal. Most deals in the Barrel are."

"What do you want, Dirtyhands?" Poppy asked and their eyes peered over to you, "And who is this pretty girl you have hiding behind you?" They put the pistol away as you moved to Kaz's side.

"A friend," Kaz answered for you. You looked from him to Poppy, "Uh, I'm y/n, nice to meet you..."

"Poppy, pleasure."

You nodded slightly as Kaz turned their attention to him, "We need to find someone. Or at least, learn how to find them. Tonight."

Poppy began carefully applying lip stain, "Looking for a club act, are we?"

"We're looking for the Conductor," you spoke and Poppy turned to you in surprise. Kaz raised an eyebrow, "So you do know him."

"This is about a job, isn't it?" Poppy asked as you looked around the room, "One that sends you all the way east, for a million kruge? You'll never make enough to compete with Pekka, you know? He's a king. You're just the Bastard of the Barrel."

Your eyes landed on a pile of jewels and fabrics, between them there was a piece of crumpled paper hiding there. You curiously moved the jewelry away and looked at the paper, frowning at the symbol resting upon it.

You knew that symbol.

You took the paper and showed it to Kaz, who stared down at it before speaking, "Tante Heleen wrote you?"

"Just this evening, yes, you snoops," Poppy said, "She was asking about the Conductor as well. Probably about the same job. So I warned him to steer clear of her."

"You warned him?" you asked before Kaz could, clearly both of you thought the same thing. "Don't tell me you send a note."

Poppy turned their head to look at you and frowned before they nodded, "Yes... I did. Why?"

Kaz clenched his jaw, "She wanted you to do that so she could have the messenger followed," he said. Poppy looked between you and Kaz, "She wouldn't hurt him, would she?"

Kaz took a step forward, "She would if it meant hurting me. Now, if you have any loyalty to him, tell us where he is. Right now."

Poppy gave away the address right away, and you and Kaz went quickly to get to the Conductor. When you reached the building, Kaz send you to ran quicker up the stairs, and you did.

"Ask the Saints for me," you heard Inej's voice and ran into the room to see her having the man pinned against a chair and a knife against his throat.

"Inej, don't!" you said and instantly, a knife was thrown toward you, but you dodged before it hit you, and instead it hit the wall, the spot where you stood before.

You let out a breath you didn't knew you were holding and looked back at Inej. She stared at you in surprise, and her expression turned shock and horrified for almost hurting you.

You stepped forward, "We need him. He's our way to Alina Starkov."

Inej let out a breath of disbelief as Kaz walked in, "Him?" she asked as she glared down at the man, still holding the knife against his throat.

"Heleen knew it, Inej," you said softly, "She was using you to sabotage us."

She shook her head, "She and I made a deal."

"It isn't worth more than what we get with him alive," Kaz spoke. Inej turned her head to glare at Kaz, her eyes were burning with tears threatening to slip, "You choose him over my freedom?"

"No," you suddenly said and took a step forward, "This reward and your freedom are not mutually exclusive. You'd really think I'd agree to go if they were? You think I'd stop you if it meant for your freedom?"

Inej stared at you as a tear slipped down her cheek. She slowly turned to the whipping man for a moment before she withdrew her knife, and the Conductor let out a shallow breath.

Inej let out a breath as she stepped away from him. You quickly moved forward and took her hand, squeezing it gently as she looked at you.

Will you be okay? you wanted to ask but didn't. It seemed she knew what you asked by your eyes, and nodded lightly, as Kaz stepped forward.

He looked down at the Conductor with a glare, "Conductor. I have a job for you."

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[holden-caulfield]

asset ━

main m.list - k.b. m.list

requested <-

summary: kaz's words can hurt, but when it comes to you, he knows how to make amends.

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

warnings: none

word count: 802

"Why is it so hard for you to understand, are you stupid?" he asked, tone so calm and low that, hadn't it been for the slight tremble in his voice, no one would have understood he was even arguing with someone.

But that someone was you, and you heard that tremble. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it made it clear that Kaz was close to losing it. Unluckily for him, you lost it first.

Kaz wasn't known to be the kindest, the most generous, or even the most decent man in Ketterdam. He wasn't called the bastard of the barrel because of his renowned niceness. But he had never said hurtful words towards you, never shown anything but respect to you. And yet, here he was.

A minor mistake, that's all it took for Kaz to treat you like garbage, and you couldn't stand it. Not from him, at least.

So you refrained your tears for as long as it took for you reach the door, running away from the club as if it was haunted. You ran outside, letting tears cloud your eyes, wet your cheeks until you reached the harbor.

You didn't know why, but there was something about the harbor, something so soothing about the ships leaving and docking there. The sails flowing freely in the wind, the sea breeze tangling in your hair, the reigning silence interrupted only by the restless seagulls and shouting sailors. It made you calmer, it made you cry harder; until you eventually stopped, tuning in to your surroundings.

You stayed there, sat on the edge, arms hugging your knees tightly as you scoured the horizon for more ships in the distance. The sun was setting, sitting lazily on the line of the ocean, painting it all shades of tangerine.

You heard steps, but you couldn't bother turning around, couldn't bother wiping the tears from your face.

The figure sat down next to you, at a safe distance, the unmistakable cane laid carelessly next to him, between the two of you. A barrier, maybe; Kaz loved to put those between himself and people he cared about.

You weren't going to talk, not after what he had told you, how he had treated you. And knowing Kaz, he wasn't going to talk either, probably forced by Inej or Jesper to check on you; you didn't need his pity. You didn't need his excuses. You didn't need him.

"I shouldn't have called you that, Y/n," he suddenly uttered, a whisper that reached you by pure chance, mixed with the sounds of the harbor. "You are one of the smartest people i know."

He said that but you didn't believe him, you didn't care, didn't answer.

"Zenik told me about a place, a possible heist," he continued.

You didn't want to listen but the vicinity made it impossible not to hear him. You simply turned your head the opposite way, hoping he would go away, leave you alone.

He didn't, instead clearing his throat. "Best pancakes in Ketterdam, worth a fortune they say."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion: either he had completely lost his mind, or Nina had managed to convince him about the value of sugary treats.

"I need someone i can trust to enter the place," he went on, so unusual of him. You were doubting Kaz's presence next to you, it couldn't be him, asking you out to eat, careless of the consequences. "I need an asset like you."

Asset, now that was typical of Kaz, but it made you laugh. Always so professional, so logical in every situation.

You remained silent still, thinking, evaluating. Could he really get away with what he had said to you with a simple proposal and a couple of pancakes?

"I'm-" but he stopped, regretting having spoken. You heard a sigh and then a cough, then his voice as clear as the sea that night. "I'm sorry, Y/n."

You gingerly turned your head to see him stare at his hands, eyebrows wrought together in thought as he adjusted his gloves.

"What was that? I didn't hear you," you tried, voice still a little hoarse from the crying, but a smile threatened to appear on your face.

"Don't push it," he said, a smirk contorting his mouth. "So?"

"So what?" You countered.

He sighed again, and you feared he was going to lash out on you again. But he didn't. "So will you come with me on this mission?"

You openly smiled now, looking at the horizon for a spare moment before bringing your eyes back on him. "Are you sure we won't need backup?"

He pretended thinking about it, then shook his head. "It's a two-people job, i think we can do it."

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[rorygilmoreclown]

The Window

A window

Kaz Brekker x Reader 

Prompt: I can’t stop imagining him with a reader or oc that’s just absolutely fucking insane and feeding off this shit. Like during this whole scene she’s going feral or giggly or something. And all the other crows are so used to her being crazy and Jesper is like: “Don’t mind her gentlemen, she’s just missing a few screws… okay maybe all of them.”

Note: A little note for everyone, I don’t mean to disrespect the bond Inej and Kaz have, I myself am a huge worshipper of Kanej. Just for the plot sake of this fic, the contents have some comments which might make you feel like I’m anti Kanej, but I’m not. Thankyou.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Inej climbed the walls to the topmost window since she knew that you and Kaz would most likely be scheming there. She stood outside the window, undetected to anyone who would be glancing at the window from the inside, a habit of the beloved spy she had become for the crows. Afterall, she was the eyes and the ears for the Dregs, how could she not know every single detail being planned. A part of her also knew that it was due to the curiosity about how the two most insane people in Ketterdam could find a longing devotion towards each other, and also a bet she’d entered against Jesper. 

If anything happens tonight, if every plan goes awry, run away from this mess and . Inej almost thought that the later half of the sentence would be asking you to stay away from Pekka Rollins, but yet again, she had underestimated the bond that Dirtyhands and his beloved assassin, you, shared. And ensure that you torture Pekka Rollins and destroy him. Even if I’m not with you, although I suppose that my absence would inevitably send you down that path. 

You knew Inej was listening through the window, and you wouldn’t really blame her for doing that. You laughed. Brick by Brick will turn into fragment by fragment until it’s all dust Kaz, I can assure you that. You said as you strolled away from the table and towards the window. Your feet make no sound, as if you were swimming under the water. And besides, nothing can go wrong when it’s our planning being turned into a play. 

Inej was baffled. She thought that a sane partner would have probably asked you to escape and lead a different life, but nothing about this was normal. Afterall, this was Kaz Brekker. Our play has the most perfect dolls. Even the ones who try to spy on us. You leaned through the window and smirked a little at Inej, as if you had won some game. Inej knew that it was her cue to enter the room. 

Kaz just ignored the slight irritation he felt by the interruption. I hope that all the preparations have been made. You could hear the need for only an affirmative response. Wylan's brought the compound. Jesper's helping load it in. Yes, it is all in place, boss. Your eyes secretly met her and in an unsaid medium of communication, she conveyed to you that the arrangements asked to be made by you as a backup plan had also been made. Kaz didn’t miss that, but trusted you enough to know that it isn’t something adverse. 

After a rehearsal of the plan, everyone went on their own routes. You went with Inej to the fifth harbour. Both of you fit perfectly hidden within the shadows and the ropes of the ships. You got started with your job instantly, Inej jumping off to cover the lower deck as you breezed through the upper one. Your feet light, using a trick you stole from a previous circumstantial acquaintance with whom you had been trained, Dunyasha. 

Shortly after Inej gave you the signal to leave without her. Knowing and trusting her skills and intentions, you left the harbour. Before you’d go and watch the final act, you made a pit stop at the menagerie as well. Choosing to leave them a little present of freedom by contaminating their work environment. Good, you thought, they won't be able to start the work for weeks now. 

Finally arriving at the club, you notice Nina dragging a willingly being dragged Kaz. It was fun to watch them from a distance. You slipped in without anyone noticing and sat down at the little front bar, waving cheerfully at Nina. You saw that Kaz was still on the ground. As angry as you were with Pekka Rollins, it was adorable of him to even think that he could harm Kaz. You watched as Pekka threw a kick onto Kaz ribs and as he kneeled in pain. I have to say, this isn’t how I had imagined Kaz Brekker to be kneeling but this works too. All heads turned towards you, and the guns of the Dime Lions with them. Leave her, she won't interfere with my artsy process of destroying this bastard. Rollins almost warned the members. 

You knew Kaz was confused as well. The plan was that you would stay on the window sill which was high above and only interfere or indicate your presence if and when needed or signalled. What are you doing here? Kaz’s tone was threatening as well as disappointed at the same time. 

Your heartrender isn't the only one who knows how to double cross you Brekker. Rollins said as he let himself smile, thinking that it was the end for the bastard. You knew Kaz would connect the dots and know that you were on his side. Now where were we? You saw Kaz being beaten up, each strike encouraging the raging urge to reduce Pekka to nothing. But you had to maintain your front. After a while of this, the sweet and loud sound of the siren fell on everyone’s ears, followed by Edyck, a dime lion, who had come to inform the pleasant news of your plan succeeding. 

You went forward without anyone noticing and helped Kaz stand upright. Slowly retreating as Kaz put the final act into place. There will be outbreaks at all of your establishments. And only yours. The path of contagion will be clear. A ship in your harbour spread the disease to your clubs. You saw the colour being drained from Rollins’ face, yet trying to maintain a facade for the sake of any change of revenge or escape from this situation. What did you do, boy?

Oh why give him all the credit Rollins. I know a certain someone who might have helped. You spoke as you took a sip of the cold concoction you had forced the bartender to summon. Now, the guns were turned towards you as well. I’ll have my own revenge on you later, you foolish girl. 

And that was enough for Kaz to put his next pawn into place, now completely knowing that Rollins deserved it. You laughed out loud, startling the bartender as well as the people who had their guns aimed at you. There's nothing an island nation fears more than disease. The Merchant Council's going to want a proper investigation. Kaz explained to Pekka, who was busy loading bullets. You knew one of them would be aimed at you too. 

Hmm. You got my attention. But you're not worth the time it'll take to put a bullet in your head. You saw Jesper enter silently as Pekka spoke. He took a seat next to you. You passed him a glass as he scoffed. You knew that it was aimed at your antics. Fifth Harbor is shut down. You got up from your seat. Kaz interrupted, breaking your chance of giving Pekka a monologue, Your businesses are tainted. 

My businesses will be fine. But you- Pekka said. You gave him a scoff as you spoke up, And you were calling me insane when you’re the one that is living in denial. Ignoring the gun he had shoved in Kaz’s face. I'd reconsider. If you want to see your Kaelish prince again. Pekka knew exactly who Kaz was talking about. Afterall, Rollins was the one who had assigned the job of keeping the little boy safe, to you. Big mistake. Yet, he didn’t want to give anything away. Oh. What are you gonna do? You gonna blow it up again? You need to learn some new tricks. 

Your other Kaelish prince. You continued the next part for Kaz. Fond of sweets. Blond hair.

Alby. You raised the glass you had in your hand and offered it to Kaz. If the devil could smile, that’s where Kaz Brekker learned it from. He gave you a crooked smile, taking the glass from you and gulping it down. I have to say Brekker, blood on your face and smirk on your lips suits you. You winked at him. If this wasn’t enough for Pekka to be furious, you didn’t know what was. I will kill everything you love, Brekker. Pekka moved the gun and aimed it at you now. I will kill your little assassin, and bury her right under the remains of your previous Crow Club. You saw how Kaz clenched his fist, controlling himself to not just put a bullet in Pekka’s head right then and there. Despite the circumstances, you found this little action sweet. 

A loud giggle escaped your lips. Gaining extremely confused glances by all the members. Jesper spoke out from the corner, ignoring the implication of a kid being kidnapped by Kaz and you, trying to laugh his doubt away. Mentally, he was kneeling on his knees and praying to whatever God he could remember Inej prayed to. Don’t mind her gentlemen, she’s just missing a few screws. 

That’s the difference Pekka, between us and you, you know that he is your weakness, we know that we are each other's strength. Go ahead, kill one of us. Go ahead, taint your carpet with the blood of Crows. But remember, that Crows remember who have wronged them and done them right. The minute you harm us, you will never even get to hear the harsh piano your stupid kid plays. Kaz spoke, he had a teasing tone to his entire threat. 

Kaz, the darling love of my life, that’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. You saw Nina shake her head in disapproval and disbelief. What did you do? You could hear the fear in his voice. I buried him. Six feet deep. Kaz paused after every word. Giving Rollins some time to digest the news. He went into that box so easily. Didn't even cry, until I took this from him. You finished for Kaz. You showed Pekka the little wooden lion which you had stolen way back when you were on the job to protect Alby. 

Where's my son?   

The whole thing ended about an hour ago. You were sitting on the windowsill of Kaz’s office. Kaz opted to settle the rest of the things with Per Haskel at the dregs club, before coming and resting. He entered the room, looking exhausted. 

Didn’t sleep yet? Kaz inquired. Normally, you would have gone to your room and slept. But not today. You finally had found a moment alone with Kaz, the two of you leaning against the window. The adrenaline of the confrontation as well as the proximity coursed through your veins, but there was also a sense of closeness, of unity.

"You were brilliant, Kaz," you murmured, the note of admiration evident in your voice. "I don't know how you keep coming up with these strategies." Kaz's lips curled into a small smile, his gloved hand reaching out to intertwine his fingers with yours. You knew that he was resisting a lot. 

He could sense your hesitance, he knew the reason behind it as well. It had taken him years to be able to just be comfortable being so close to you. But he knew he wanted all of that, to feel your touch, to be so close to you. 

I have good inspiration, he replied softly. A team that I trust implicitly and a maniac who supports all my decisions. All this soft talk was always reserved for you and the room. When I’d first told you about the Alby, had you thought that it was a bluff or an actual plan.

Kaz, don’t be stupid, I know when you are bluffing. It’s a very obvious tell. 

It wasn’t any obvious tell. You just knew Kaz, so you got lucky with this guess. 

Don't worry, you laughed at his bewildered look, you still look hot while lying. The night went on. Despite being so tired, neither of you could sleep. So the night was spent on the window, planning every single heist possible, making plans to take down the rest of the city. This was definitely proving to be the best date like day ever.

—---

A/n: A little bonus for you guys. For being so late. 

Kaz: I have a very important question to ask you guys. 

Jesper: We know. You have never assembled a meeting consisting of all of us if you didn’t have any serious reasons. 

Kaz: Do I have a tell when I lie. 

Inej: As far as I can tell, and I say this on behalf of everyone, we wouldn’t know. 

Kaz: (disappointed) 

Kaz: Okay, that’s okay. Do I ever look hot? Because apparently that's when I express my tell. 

Insert bewildered crows. 

-----

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