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wickedpact · 4 years

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dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........ late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.) the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me:

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest.

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

#IS THIS GETTING TAGGED? YES #nicolo di genova #joe x nicky #my_essays #the fair youth saga

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arkannis · 3 years

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Hello,

I just recently got into the Old Republic Fandom, and the Eternal Empire is my favorite arc. I do wish there was more story content to give more development to the characters, particularly in Arcann's case. While I love his romance scenes, I wish there were more scenes about his redemption and relationship with the Outlander or a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort. I found your blog while trying to find content further developing his character. Thank you so much for posting all your headcanons and musings!

With that being said, what are your headcanons for Zakuul culture? And could you post a masterpost compilation of your Arcann headcanons? I am trying to find the post where the romance novels headcanon originated in the tags and not having much luck.

Hope you have a nice day!

Hi anon!! Sorry for a late reply. First I’ll answer the second part of your message. The romance holonovels headcanon originated from the this post ; the post doesn’t outright say it, but some people in the tags (when they reblogged it) mentioned that Arcann probably seemed like the type to read romance in his free time. As of what I can remember the tags were from this reblog and this other reblog and both say that Arcann reads romance holonovels. The continuation of this headcanon were in replies or tags, so it’s hard to track them all down! Secondly, my Arcann tag is a mess, and I probably threw in multiple headcanons in reblogs or tags so it would be hard to find them all... I’ll think about making a masterpost, but I don’t think I have time for something like that right now. Ok, now that’s over with... I 100% agree with you, anon! I HAVE so many things to say about the possibility about that dark side ending. I don’t think devs were planning to make Arcann a possible romance option in the beginning, so it wouldn’t have been possible to be his LI and rule as emperor/empress. I also agree with the development of the characters... however, Arcann’s redemption and relationship with the Outlander was definitely rushed, because the plans to make a third expansion was apparently cancelled due to the backlash from fans who wanted pub vs. imp back. I made a whole post complaining about that... Otherwise, I definitely think they would have had more time to flesh out his characters and the other Zakuulan characters as well (Vaylin, Senya, Koth, etc.). I’m like pretty much sure content was cut out from KOTFE/KOTET to make them shorter. Due to such lost content, I have to create my headcanons from extrapolation based on the Sacrifice trailer, available codex entries, existing dialogue, and implications of existing issues. As well as other people’s hcs and commentary!! WARNING: SUPER LONG BULLET POINTS for Zakuulan culture headcanons.

The reason why I don’t have that many Zakuulan culture headcanons is because.... I feel like it’s so weirdly explored in the expansions.

I think the arts is a big thing in Zakuul! The Dragon’s Maw chapter gave me that kind of vibe. I also discussed this mildly (not) with Arcann. Most specifically THEATRE, PERFORMANCE AND SINGING.

Evidence: Senya sings and composes and there’s the famous Zakuulan holoperformer, Malita Tal. No, I don’t have evidence for theatre, but honestly? Zakuulans are so goddamn dramatic, they most definitely have reality TV series or drama series...

arcann be like oh you listen to malita tal? name all of her albums in alphabetical order or you get exiled

Zakuulan culture most definitely has idol culture, based on Malita Tal (and reportedly her performances were watched by millions). And those fans apparently also protested against Arcann’s rule. personally i think if they had twitter the u.s. gov*rnment would be wiped out.

I just think singing is a big thing in Zakuulan culture. I mean, even Valkorion sings (if you decide to kill Senya, his force ghost appears. They both have an exchange and it’s actually sweet for like 0.1 second).

I also think there would be typical Zakuulan fairytales embedded in the culture. Hear me out. Most specifically those type of royal fairytales with the princes and princesses. This can be heavily contributed to the fact that a royal family is essentially in power.

You cannot expect me to believe not a single person in Zakuul has written a Prince Arcann x reader holofic. You just can’t. Or Prince Thexan. Actually, I think Thexan would be more common, I think he was perceived to be more compassionate and kind compared to Arcann by the common folk? Since I know there’s that NPC dialogue where one of them goes how different it would be if Thexan took the throne instead.

The fairytales would probably involve a lot of references to the Old Gods. I kinda imagine that the enemy would be some sort of serpent, that is, Zildrog, because apparently he’s just a bedtime story to scare children away.

I think these Zakuulan fairy tales would contribute to the theatre and performance, acting culture that Zakuul has.

Furthermore, I just think the Tirall kids probably read these fairytales as well. francis dont talk about arcann reading again

I want to talk about the Old Gods and that religion, which is one of my favorite things ever... probably because the Gods are machines. Superweapon machines... ok ill shut up

Even if Valkorion basically got rid of the religion, it’s clear that the religion is still incorporated into heavy talk in Zakuulan culture (e.g. eyes of Esne, heart of Scyva).

My headcanon is that there are sanctuaries or small secret churches (?) for those who want to worship the Old Gods. Obviously the Herald of Zildrogs who believe in the Old Way are a cult, so I think people would look for an alternative.

I think there would be great effort to hide these places, as it can get you exiled. Thus these would probably be located in the Old World, rather than in a more obvious position like the Spire.

The beliefs of the Old Ways isn’t exactly clear, they aren’t exactly touched upon, which is a shame. I think people would ask for help from each of these gods depending on what they want.

Those who ask for Izax’ guidance want to seek success, accomplishments, power, and glory.

Those who ask for Scyva’s guidance ask for her to guide souls peacefully to death (she is described as someone who weeps beside Zakuulans as they march towards Izax - basically death) , or ask for help/compassion from her. Maybe maternity as well? Or parental love?

Those who ask for Aivela (goddess of passion) want her to guide them with her passion (Aivela accompanies Tyth, who is kind of a god of war/warrior). I think there would also be romance related stuff as well. If someone asked for help regarding their love related issues, it would probably be from Aivela!

I’m not sure about Esne - but maybe in a similar sense, if someone is suffering with jealousy - in any situation, they would ask guidance from her. I don’t know where I read this but I think the “eyes of Esne” expression meant like having eyes of jealousy.

Nahut? I don’t think he was worshipped. “Nahut was considered to be gray, formless and cold, and was denied worship by all except his mother Scyva.” But regardless, I think he still had a role to play.

After the Outlander takes the throne, and Zakuul renounces their membership from the Eternal Alliance, I think people would be allowed to openly express their religious beliefs, that is, the Old Ways. Oh, personally I headcanon that they would build beautiful places of worship in the Spire with similar geometrical pyramid designs...!!

Yeah...I think that’s all I got! I’ll need to see how I can somehow make this post easily found, lol. This is quite a long list, and I have to emphasize that these are my headcanons! They are based on what I see and I just kind of fill in the gaps to fit my own stories. This took a while to write because I KNEW I had these headcanons, but they just didn’t appear at the time I saw this anon ask. Anyways, I’ll probably create more headcanons in the future. Also:

a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort

I have so many things to say about this. I know the game won’t permit it, because if you think about it, both the light side choice (Eternal Alliance) and the dark side choice (Eternal Empire) are happy endings for your characters anyways. They can continue as the “hero” or the “protagonist”, so I don’t think this route could ever be implemented. However, I think it would be absolutely interesting if throughout the gameplay, players are given a choice to flirt with Arcann. The Outlander and Arcann agree to get rid of Valkorion, but thats if the Outlander decides to betray the Alliance and joins Arcann instead. And should they join him, they have the choice to romance him... and I guess it’s a happy ending for you both :P Obviously this won’t happen, but maybe it will. I wouldn’t mind being the prince consort of Arcann lol idk! me and vaylin are gonna be besties and we’ll paint each others nails or something Oh and have a nice day too anon...!!

#Anonymous #THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST AAAAAAAAAAAA #swtor #arcann #zakuul #kotfe #kotet #i need a special tag for this #zakuul hc

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hisakata-resutomoshibi · 4 years

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Not to bother you, but I've been wondering what would happen next in that Inner Demon! Kuro au. It randomly popped into my head and now im curious lol. I'm not asking for another chapter if you dont want to write it, I just wanna know what u think would happen next! Your ideas are amazing and I love hearing from you! 🧡

Ah, you’re so sweet! Don’t take this too seriously as I haven’t planned any of it and barely edited it LOL but here you go my dear~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, and what am I supposed to make of that?"

It was hours later, or perhaps just minutes, and Mahiru found himself staring up at the slightly damp, bug riddled ceiling of the cave. He seemed to have fallen to the ground after Kuro had released his grip; maybe he had taken too much blood? The thought froze his muscles in visceral terror and his mind in a bid to remain sane immediately rejected the idea. Either way, he did distinctly remember hearing Kuro say that he belonged to Mahiru now, or something to that effect, and really, who wanted to have a psycho like this?

"What does what means?"

Kuro's eyes popped in to view over Mahiru's face and he flinched back, bashing his head further on the cold stone. Frowning in irritation, at the pain in his skull, the situation in general, he sighed. "What do you mean you're mine?"

The bright red that had flooded through Kuro's irises hadn't faded, in fact it seemed to have almost solidified against the former blue, looking like a small pool of swirling metallic paint splashed across the sky. As he watched, entranced, Kuro grinned.

"Pretty, right?" He blinked slowly, demonstratively. "The red is a nice touch, a very easy way to identify contracts."

"Contracts?" Mahiru repeated curiously. "What- no, I mean, how did your eyes change color?"

"This is your blood, Mahiru." Kuro said matter-of-factly. "I didn't expect it to be so beautiful, to be honest. Most blood mixes in like mud. Such a disappointing shade of brown. But this!" Kuro paused, fluttering a hand in front of his face.

"This is gorgeous. We must be compatible."

"Compatible..." Mahiru echoed, laughing weakly. "Great."

"You wanted to go home. I'll take you there."

"Hold on just a second." He pushed out a hand into the scant air between them and Kuro obligingly sat back, his head cocked in innocent puzzlement. "How do you know where I live?"

"I know everything that is YOU, now."

"Again, what exactly does that mean?"

Kuro smiled wickedly, leaning forward suddenly, a blur of vitality in the dank air of the cave. "Take it literally. Anything that means something to you, makes up a part of your identity, it's mine now. And in exchange-" He gestured down at himself, "you get this, anything you could possibly want."

Startled into silence, Mahiru felt his tongue form the sardonic comment before he could think better of it. "You're quite confident." As soon as the words were out he regretted them, praying that the offense they caused wouldn't be enough to get him ripped into little pieces, but Kuro only laughed, lighter and softer than anything Mahiru had heard before.

"Of course I'm confident. Do you still not know who I am, Mahiru?" His lips curled up mischievously and he ran a graceful, delicate finger, along Mahiru's jaw. "You're a bit thick, aren't you? Ah well, no matter! You're mine as well now, no turning back." Before Mahiru had the chance to feel offended, he continued. "I knew you were special the second I saw you."

The conversation was running in circles and it was only a matter of time before Mahiru got motion sickness trying to follow it, so, trying to decide the simplest course of action, he chose, simply, to ignore it. Obviously Kuro was not who he had originally thought, the eyes, the horns, the preternatural speed, no, there was no way to fake that, he was something else entirely, but the question was, what? Mahiru glanced over to find Kuro staring at him raptly and he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped. "Where am I supposed to hide you?"

"Is this just something that people like you can do?" Mahiru asked flatly, staring down at the tiny kitten at his feet. It turned it's wide, luminescent eyes (red like his blood, he thought) up to him and blinked. "I don't know what that means."

"You really are a demanding little one." Kuro muttered as he phased back into existence, occupying the space the cat had previously. "Of course not all of us can, it is something unique to I and a few others." He paused, seeming to think carefully before speaking. "Eight total."

There are seven others that can turn into animals?"

Kuro nodded slowly, almost regretfully. "Yes. Seven. But you don't need to worry about them."

"I'm not particularly worried." Mahiru sighed. "More like amazed." He watched for a moment as Kuro crept around his room, so cat like in his movements Mahiru almost laughed, and began to poke at several of the books piled haphazardly on his desk. "I do have a question."

As though he had been in anticipation, Kuro spun on his heel, books and exploration forgotten and a lopsided smile in place. "Yes?"

"Well, er-" Mahiru hesitated, biting his lip. "Not to be offensive or anything but, you're acting very... different now."

"Oh?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"How so?"

"Well." Mahiru glanced over, quickly looking away again when he met Kuro's amused gaze. "Well, to be blunt, you're not acting like a total nut job anymore."

"A nut job." Kuro paused, digesting the phrase for a moment. "I do not know that one either." Four rapid steps had him directly in front of Mahiru again and he grinned. "There's so much you must tell me! But before that, what is the question?"

"Why?" Mahiu blurted. "Why are you suddenly..." He trailed off and, at a loss for definition, gestured vaguely at Kuro. "Like this?"

Shrugging casually, Kuro raised a brow. "One would act differently after becoming someone else, no?"

Putting a finger to his brow in fatigued annoyance, Mahiru groaned. "No w I just know you're fucking with me."

"Not yet, I assure you." Kuro said brightly, his grin widening impossibly when Mahiru blanched. "What can I say to make you understand?" He crossed his arms, gaze traveling lazily around the room. When his eyes lit upon the chair near the door and he paused. "I took from you and so you must take from me." He glanced over, his eyes shining through the shifting blacks and whites of his hair. "Give and take, tit for tat, you are a part of me and so I must honor that change. Act according to the new blood."

Mahiru frowned, attempting to construct something realistic or even vaguely understandable from what Kuro had just said. "So, you're different because of me?"

"Precisely. Perhaps if you were less stubborn I would not be quite so composed?" Kuro laughed, just a shadow of the maniacal, wild abandon from previously and shrugged. "It's an interesting change." He raised his eyes to the ceiling, as though looking up into the sky. "Not unwelcome. Certainly different from what I am used to."

"What you're used to?" Mahiru prompted him after a moment.

"Things at the court can be unbalanced." Kuro said slowly. "And so for the most part we are... unpredictable."

Forgoing asking who exactly "we" was because he was fairly certain he didn't want to know anyway, Mahiru frowned darkly, remembering the shattered stalls and engulfing flames he had so barely escaped earlier."You seemed like a psycho."

Kuro laughed happily. "That sounds like a compliment!"

"It's not." Mahiru said flatly. "Psycho is bad." He too glanced around the small room quickly, taking in the limited space and lack of guest furniture. "So now what? I accept that you are some kind of- of- mythical creature. But I do not accept that I am stuck with you."

"Whether you accept or not is of no consequence." Kuro sang, reaching out and plucking a sweater from where it lay draped over the foot of the bed. "We have a contract." He began to twist it back and forth, inspecting it from every angle, eyes wide in puzzlement.

"About that. I didn't agree to any contract. So I don't really think it's legally binding." Mahiru crossed his arms, attempting his best impersonation of authority.

Kuro shrugged, pulling the sweater over his head, horns turning to a bright translucent fog for a moment to allow for the collar to pass over them, and smiled, something quick and genuine, and Mahiru felt his heart skip a beat. "Unfortunate for you then that the fae do not care for legality."

It was an hour later, Mahiru standing in front of the cupboard contemplating it's bare shelving, that he finally admitted to himself that he was not the best at entertaining visitors. Not even a spare loaf of bread. He slammed the door shut in frustration and glanced into the living room, finding Kuri still curled up on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Mahiru had turned it on in desperation about forty minutes ago and Kuro had not moved since. It was currently airing some strange episodic gum commercial but judging by Kuro's expression you would have thought it was a documentary of the end of the world.

"How do they do this?" Kuro asked suddenly and Mahiru turned fully, watching as he pointed to the screen upon which was a helicopter view of the city.

"Do what?"

"Record this? Is that what you called it? It's so detailed!"

Mahiru wandered closer, unable to ignore the impulse and peered over Kuro's shoulder. "You said you were some magical being but you've never seen a TV? Where have you been all this time?"

"In the woods, mostly." Kuro answered casually. "It seems I should have ventured farther into town sooner!"

Briefly imagining the utter devastation Kuro would have wrought unchecked had he indeed entered the heart of the town Mahiru held back a shiver and shook his head. "No. No way. You are way too much trouble."

"It is not I that wishes for such destruction." Kuro said, flicking his sharp gaze up to Mahiru. "I only embody what you desire."

"You keep saying that." Mahiru muttered, looking away in discomfort. "Listen. Do you need food? Or..." He trailed off in embarrassment, completely gobsmacked that the next words were about to leave his mouth. "Or are you actually a vampire?"

"Vampire." Kuro rolled the word around for a moment and shrugged. "Call me what you will. You humans have always had such curious need to name everything. Regardless, it will not change that I simply am."

Mahiru sighed. He really was getting so tired of all this mystical bullshit. "So then, did you want to get dinner?"

Kuro froze, his shoulders going taut beneath the blanket he had huddled up in. "Dinner?" His eyes were darting from side to side as though in worry, though there was nothing but an innocuous soap opera preview on.

"Yeah? You know, we go somewhere and get food? I honestly hate the idea of bringing you in public, but I don't have anything here." Mahiru admitted, frowning. "You have to behave."

"Ah, I see." Kuro turned, fixing Mahiru with a strange look. "You need to eat then?"

"I take it, based on this conversation that you don't actually require food." Mahiru muttered sarcastically. "But yes, I'm hungry."

"Very well. Let's go." Kuro stood in one quick move, the blanket falling from his shoulders and to the couch and Mahiru flinched back a step, having completely forgotten just how tall Kuro really was. At his jerking retreat, Kuro raised a brow and a mocking smile flew across his face. "Do you truly find me so frightening?"

An immediate affirmation withered on Mahiru's tongue as he studied Kuro's expression. It was neutral and empty but somewhere, deep beneath the veneer of indifference, he thought he could see a wiggling of disappointment. He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did, or even why he would care to do so in the first place but he found himself snorting and reaching out to wrap his hand around Kuro's wrist, tugging him roughly around the back of the couch and towards the kitchen. "Of course not, idiot. What's scary about you?"

#servamp #asks #blackcat!Kuro #my writing #should I add the tag #fae!Kuro #?#ever since Kat said I can't get it out of my head #as evidenced here LOL #Mahiru Shirota #hmmm

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-10-

Robin and I ran back into Scoops Ahoy, each of us carrying a map. We went right into the back room where Dustin and Steve were sitting, they looked over to us questioningly.

I took the open next to Steve and offered up his keys, "Back in one piece, as promised," I stated as he opened up his hand to accept them, I dropped them into his hand with a smile.

"Thanks, Lou," he chuckled, "you can use it anytime."

I raised my brows and laughed a bit, "Really? So if I needed it at three in the morning I could throw stones at your window and you would drop the keys for me?"

He laughed and nodded quickly, "That is exactly what I'm saying."

I laughed with him before catching the eye of my brother who had an amused look on his face, I looked to Robin and saw her trying to contain a laugh by holding her nose.

I quieted my laughter and cleared my throat, "Anyways," I said with a head shake, "it is absolutely amazing what twenty bucks will buy you at the County Recorders office."

"Starcourt mall," Robin explained, opening the map and laying it over the table, "the complete blueprints."

"Not bad," Dustin said approvingly looking between Robin and I.

"So," I said standing up, "this is us, Scoops. And this," I ran my finger along the map, "is where we want to get."

Steve hummed from next to me, leaning over the table and map bumping my shoulder with his, "I don't really see a way in."

"There's not, if you're talking exclusively about doors," Robin said as I put the map of the Starcourt vents down.

Dustin looked down at the paper in front of him, and it was like you could see the gears click together, "Air ducts."

"Exactly," Robin and I said together.

Robin walked around the table and over to the white board to grab the marker, "Turns out, this secret room needs air just like any old room."

She smiled at me and handed me the marker, "And these air ducts," I began as I circled us at Scoops Ahoy, "lead all the way," I started drawing the path through the vents, "here," I said simply, circling the secret room.

I recapped the marker and looked at the other two with a triumphant smile before looking up to the vent.

I placed my hands on the table and sighed happily, looking over to Robin who was grinning too at our accomplishment.

"Genius," Steve said quietly before turning to look at me with a smile, "that's so smart," he said laying his hand on the top of mine and squeezing it gently.

I knew at that moment that my face began to slightly heat up as I smiled back to him, "I mean...Robin came up with the vents and stuff. Robin did most of it."

Steve's eyes softened and gave my hand another squeeze before removing it, putting his hand up to Robin, "Good job to you too, Robin."

Robin looked at him questioningly as Steve waved his hand slightly in front of her face before lifting her hand up in possibly the weakest high five in the history of high fives. I couldnt help but let out a small giggle when they brought their hands down.

I looked to Dustin who looked utterly confused before he eventually shook it off, "Can we please take a look and make sure I can fit?"

"You're not going in there," I said immediately.

Dustin furrowed his brow at me, "Yes I am."

I scoffed, "Huh, no? We'll figure something else out."

"I'm the smallest, Louise. I can get in there," he stated.

I could tell by his face that he was becoming stubborn Dustin. I sighed and lifted my arm in the direction of the vent.

"Let's see what's going on then," I said.

"I got it," Steve said, before walking to a shelf and grabbing something from it, then taking the step stool from the corner and setting it up under the vent. I saw that he had grabbed a screwdriver and was taking the screws out. He got the vent off after only a couple moments.

He handed the vent cover off to Dustin, "Flashlight," Steve said.

Dustin put the vent down and grabbed a flashlight from his pocket and handed it up to him, "Thank you," Steve said quietly.

Steve lit up the vent and checked around inside.

"Yeah...I dont know, man. I dont know if you can fit in here. It's, like super tight," Steve explained.

"I'll fit," Dustin simply stated, "trust me, no collarbones, remember?"

"That's doesn't make you like, silly putty, Dust, where you can just fit wherever," I told him.

"Wait...what?" Robin asked.

I grinned and looked over to her, "How many times have I told you about his disease?"

The realization flooded her face, "It's not like it comes up often," she defended.

Steve hopped down from the ladder as Dustin began climbing up it, "Yeah...his disease. It's chry-uh. It's in chrydo...something, I dont remember the name," he said as his eyes flashed to me, "he's missing bones and stuff he can bend like gumbo."

The involuntary laugh that came out of me was the fastest I ever laughed at something. Gumbo? Steve looked over at me and smiled before he laughed as well.

"I think you mean Gumby?" I laughed out, looking over to him.

He smiled even wider and shook his head, "I'm pretty sure it's gumbo," he told me while I continued to laugh and shake my head at him.

I appreciated that he was trying to show that he actually knew important things about Dustin, even if he used the wrong examples.

Our laugher subsided as Dustin yelled out from the vent, "Steve...will you two shut up and push me?"

"Okay," Steve said with another laugh before he smiled at me and turned to face the lower half of my brother sticking out from the vent, "I'll push ya."

I smiled before looking over to Robin who was grinning at me and batting her eyelashes over in my direction. I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Not my feet dumbass. Push my ass!"

My head snapped to Steve and Dustin, Steve had Dustin's feet in his hands trying to push him in.

"What?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Touch my butt, I dont care!" Dustin yelled.

"Come on push harder! Push harder!" Dustin was literally screaming this into the vent and I could only imagine what people were thinking if his voice was travelling.

But that was nothing compared to what Robin and I were experiencing by watching Steve push my brother by the butt into this vent.

"You're playing with my legs!"

"I'm not playing I have terrible footing!"

I shook my head at the scene before me.

"Come on!"

"I'm just gonna shove you, ready?" Steve asked with Dustin's legs over his shoulder.

"Just shove me!" Dustin screamed.

Steve counted before forcibly pushing my brother with his shoulder.

I winced, "Please be careful."

Steve glanced over at me, "I wont let anything happen to him, Lou. Don't worry."

The butterflies seemed to erupt at that. I couldn't put into words how much I appreciated Steve looking out for Dustin. Even if he was trying to shove him into a vent at that moment.

"That work?" Steve asked my brother.

"One more time!" Dustin called just as the bell at the front of the shop rang out.

"Ahoy sailors! All hands on deck!"

I turned around slowly and saw little Erica Sinclair.

"Ahoy! Get over here and serve me some samples!" she called out.

I grinned and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What're you looking at, Louise? You're not one of the sailors," Erica sassed to me.

I grinned before looking to Robin, "I think we might have just found our way in," I told her.

Robin looked to me and I motioned to Erica with my head.

Robins face slowly morphed into a smile before looking back to Steve and Dustin, with Steve still trying to shove Dust into thr vent.

"Hey, dingus and mini dingus," Robin called.

Steve turned around and looked to her, "What?"

"Lou just found our way in," Robin said quietly, pointing subtly to Erica who was still chattering in the back.

Steve looked stunned, before shrugging and patting my brothers leg.

"Come on out, Dust," Steve said to my brother before stepping down from the ladder and helping Dustin get down.

I heard Robin out front talking to Erica, asking if she could help out for a moment.

"Do you think it'll work?" Steve asked, coming to stand next to me.

I looked up at him for a second before shrugging, "I dunno. I mean, she'll fit. It's just the question of what she'll want in return," I said just as Robin led Erica to the back room.

"This vent?" Erica asked, sticking her thumb behind her to the open vent, "you want me to climb into this vent?"

We all nodded at her and she went over to the ladder and climbed up, Dustin went over and offered her the flashlight which he grabbed from him.

I leaned against the counter near the partition with Steve on one side and Robin on the other.

"Hmm," she hummed with her head still in the opening.

She climbed down and turned to look at us, "Yeah, I dont know."

"You don't know if you'd fit?" Dustin questioned.

Erica scoffed, "Oh, I can fit. I just don't know if I want to."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Are you claustrophobic?" Robin asked with irritation.

Erica snickered, "I dont have phobias."

"Okay well what's the problem?" Steve sighed.

"The problem is," Erica began getting progressively louder, "I still havent heard what's in this for Erica."

"Ice cream," I shrugged.

I felt the eyes of the three others snap to me but I was focusing on Erica, who smiled at me, "That's why you were always my favourite babysitter, Louise, you just always knew the right thing to do.

��

We had one of the round tables littered with different types of ice cream, some in cups, some in regular cones, some in waffle cones. While she was picking all the different ice cream she wanted the four of us began telling her why we needed her to go through the vents. We were honest with her about what we knew. And she honestly didn't seemed phased by any of it.

Steve slid a large banana split across the table to her as we watched for her expression. She looked to the banana split, then back to Steve before grinning.

She slid it back to him, "More fudge please."

Steve was leaning on the table staring down at it, I think trying to compose himself.

She waved her hand at him, "Go on," she encouraged.

He refused to look up as he reached out and took the ice cream, "Lou," he said quietly, "can we speak for a second."

I looked between Erica, Dustin and Robin, I honestly wasn't sure if they would be able to negotiate with her since she's been sassing them this whole time.

"Don't worry, Louise," Erica told me, "we'll see how good they do, go talk with the sailor man."

I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded, following behind Steve to the ice cream counter.

"What's up?" I asked him, watching the table and seeing Robin holding up the map.

"Do you really think this will be worth it in the long run?" he asked me.

I sighed and looked over to him, as he poured fudge over the already overly sweet looking dessert.

"Do we have a choice?" I asked.

He sighed and put down the fudge, "Not really," he conceded.

"Hey," I said, nudging his arm with mine, "we're gonna be okay," I told him.

He grinned and nudged me back, "I know," he told me, "we're almost at the end of your summer essay."

I laughed as did he, "I have to end it on a big note. That's why I'm so invested in finding out what's in the boxes."

"I'm mainly still helping out to make sure you get an A," he chuckled.

"Oh!" I laughed, "Well thanks Steve! I'll make sure to add a dedication section just for you!"

He laughed and opened his mouth but was cut off by Dustin.

"Hey!" he whisper yelled over the counter at us, "I've been trying to get your attention! Come over here!"

Steve and I looked back at each other before sharing another small laugh, Dustin huffed before walking away with Steve and I following after him.

I sat in the booth next to Dustin while Steve sat in the chair again next to me and slid her the ice cream with the new fudge.

She looked at it and smiled, "I'll let you two fill the other two in on my offering," she said as she took the spoon from the banana split and began to eat it.

I looked at Robin and raised my brows, "She's offering to do this for us, but in exchange for free ice cream for life."

I looked to Steve who was already looking at me, I made a 'your call' face and shrugged. Steve sighed and looked quickly to the other two.

"Fine," Steve agreed facing Erica, "but you have to stick with the plan. No opting out. You abandon us, you abandon the free ice cream. Deal?" he asked sticking his hand out to her.

She stuck the spoon back into the ice cream and reached across the table to shake his hand, "Deal," she agreed, before letting his hand go.

"Okay," I said leaning against the table, "let's get the plan together."

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

Thank you everyone for reading and liking this story, it means a lot!!!!

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #netflix #dustin henderson

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theropoda · 3 years

Note

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29: Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

#asks #stommevrouw #THANK U EVIE THIS WAS SO FUNNNNNNN #WOOF haha this made me tired #im probably hitting the bed now! thank u!!

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flowerpowell · 5 years

Text

You Drive Me Crazy (Colt x MC)

PART THREE

Hey all! This is part three of the series and I’m so happy we finally meet the rest of the crew! As always, I dont own the characters but I’d appreciate the feedback! (As some of you may have noticed I’m reposting it after I deleted this part last nice. Sorry about that!)

Rating: PG

Word count: 1250

Tagging: @agent-bossypants @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicessa @confessionsofabrokegirl @lovehugsandcandy @choicesarehard @long-gone-girl @going-down-downtown @client-327 @walkerduchess @umiumichan @desireepow30 ♥

The day came before either of them realized and Colt yawned, stretching himself in his bed. He looked at Ellie still sleeping soundly and shook his head. She passed out last night and since then nothing could wake her up. Until now.

He watched her when she opened her eyes and flinched. Even though she hadn’t had that much alcohol, she wasn’t used to it and he was sure today would be a bit harder for her.

“Happy birthday El! How are you feeling?”

“Shhhh” she closed her eyes and waved her hand at him, “Not so loud.”

He chuckled in response and got up handing her a glass of water that was standing on the nightstand. She thanked him silently and drank the whole thing.

“How did I even come back? I don’t remember the way back,” she asked after a moment of silence.

Colt shrugged, “I carried you here. You fell asleep on the beach and I couldn’t wake you up. You were snoring so loud I was surprised it didn’t wake you up.”

Ellie threw a pillow at laughing Colt but he dodged it.

“Jerk!” she yelled but flinched again at the tone of her own voice.

“So…” Colt started, fidgeting with an empty glass, overthinking the question he was about to ask. Or rather the answer he inevitably would get. Last night could either ruin their friendship or take it to the next level. And honestly, he was afraid of both. “You remember anything at all what happened?”

She looked at him confused, “We went clubbing.”

“And…?”

“…and I drank alcohol?”

“And…?”

“And we went outside to the seashore cause I felt like I couldn’t breathe?”

“Do you remember what happened there?” he raised an eyebrow trying to compose himself while his heart was beating abnormally fast. What was happening to him?

“Oh! I know! Technically I didn’t go for a midnight swim but I was in the water at midnight. That counts, right?”

“Yeah… And what happened next?”

“You helped me to warm up I guess?”

“And?”

“I don’t know. I remember whining about something to you but I don’t remember what it was about. And then I passed out, I think. And you carried me here, didn’t you?”

His heart sunk as his face fell. She didn’t remember the kiss, she didn’t remember anything. He tried to smile but for some weird reason he felt heartbroken. He didn’t know why. Ellie was just his friend, right? Maybe…it was for the best.

“Yes.” He heard his shaky voice. “This is exactly what happened.”

Ellie nodded and Colt’s heart broke. So this is it.

~~~~

“Colt?”

“Hmm?” he turned to Mona and met with her usual annoyed look. “What?”

“I’ve asked you about something ten times and you didn’t even answer! Are you even listening?”

He rubbed his temples and sighed. “I’m sorry. What were you asking about?”

“Are you going to tell me what happened or not? Ever since you came back from Ellie’s birthday trip you’re like a ghost of a dude I used to know.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Colt got up and went to the other side of the garage, ignoring the death stare Mona was giving him.

“Okay then. Suffer in silence. I don’t care. Oh! My friends come tomorrow so invite Ellie. You don’t have to come but she does.” Mona said before leaving Colt alone in the room.

Invite Ellie.

What for? Ellie is my friend!

He sighed and quickly messaged Ellie. If she’s going, he’s going too. For safety purposes, of course.

~~~~

“Ellie! How great to finally meeet you!” Mona exclaimed the next day when Colt brought Ellie to the little garage backyard. “Colt,” her voice was cold. He didn’t care. Instead, he was scanning the people that were there too, Mona’s friends.

“Everyone, this is Ellie and her friend, Colt! Ellie, meet Toby,” she gestured at a tattooed man in a man bun. He hugged her and she smiled at him.

“This is Ximena,” Mona said and Colt watched, eyes wide open, as a tall, and also tattoed, woman lifted Ellie effortlessly and squeezed her tightly. He was just about to interrupt this moment of affection, in fear that Mona’s friend could hurt Ellie, but she seemed fine when her feet met with the ground again.

“And this is Logan, the newest addition to our group.”

Logan stepped up with a smile on his face and shook Ellie’s hand. She was clearly very charmed by this Logan. She seemed to forget how to breathe and Colt was wondering when she would ran out of oxygen. Before he could roll his eyes for the hundredth time, Ellie composed herself and smiled at Logan.

“It’s so nice to meet you all! This is Colt, my best friend,” Ellie motioned him and he realized everyone was staring at him. Great.

“Yeah, umm, hi.”

They all nodded and started chatting with Ellie was clearly enjoying herself. For the next few hours, Colt was sitting in front of Ellie and Logan, watching them and drinking beer. The two of them seemed to get along pretty well, which somehow pissed Colt off. He couldn’t explain it but the moment Logan put his arm around her, Colt wanted to hit the guy with the bottle. He was annoyed and wanted nothing more than to take Ellie home.

Mona, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the whole situation. She smirked at Colt every time he narrowed his eyes because of what Logan and Ellie did.

He hated him. He hated Logan even though he didn’t even know him. He just hated the guy. He tried mentally send him a “get away from her” message but it didn’t seem to be working. On the contrary, it only made them sit closer to each other and chat as if the world was about to end. Another eye-roll, another gulp.

When finally Logan gave Ellie his jacket, it was enough for him. He couldn’t stay there any loger. Without saying anything, he got up and headed towards his beloved bike. He heard footsteps behind him and turned in hopes to see Ellie but no. It was Mona and Colt only wanted to get away from there faster. Ellie probably didn’t even notice he was gone.

“You can’t drive after drinking! That’s the only rule you promised to–”

“I’ve done worse things,” he said and hopped on the motorcycle.

“Colt!”

~~~~

He was driving as fast as he could to get to that one place he felt safe at. He sat down on the cold ground and contemplated for hours. He thought of Ellie, of her birthday, of Logan, of everything. He tried to understand his emotions but the more he thought about it, the more he hated the end result.

The conclusion was inevitable. Undeniable.

He closed his eyes and for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do.

~~~~

When he came back to the garage it was late but Mona was still there.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

Colt threw his helmet somewhere and sat down, his head in his hands.

“Well?” she sounded angry but he didn’t care. He had to tell someone.

“Mona…” Colt’s voice broke and he looked at her with pleading eyes, “I’m falling for Ellie.”

#ride or die: a bad boy romance #colt kaneko #colt x mc #colt kaneko x mc #rod #choices #choices rod #ride or die: bad boy romance #rod mona #rod logan #rod ximena #rod toby #playchoices #choices stories you play #playchoices fanfiction #choices fanfiction #rod colt

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garbagequeer · 5 years

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hey hello im writing a piece for laptop ensemble that involves sampling and i need the most repressed/tender/yearning quotes you got. just as gay and heart wrenching as you can. but also no pressure I know youre a stranger on the web I just feel like you post that kind of stuff a lot thank you bye

hope this isnt like too late school keeps me busy :( (also can you put a read more on asks? guess i’ll find out). i ended up choosing many quotes from the same texts cause im indecisive as shit but i’ll bold my favorites from those in case that makes it easier for you!

anyways first of all you can never go wrong w richard siken as obvious as that is. these are both from you are jeff

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.

Let’s say you’ve swallowed a bad thing and now it’s got its hands inside you. This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean but you’re happy anyway, and that’s okay, it’s a love story

this one’s from planet of love (the format got fucked bc tumblr is not actually a finctional website but :/ )

I have a megaphone and you play along, because you want to die for love, you always have. Imagine this:You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting. You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,you’ve memorized it,

from litany in which certain things are crossed out

I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you’re really there.Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live? Let me do it right for once,

sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. Especially that, but I should have known.You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I sayor love me back.

We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, smiling and crying in a way that made meeven more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud.Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.

from snow and dirty rain

I had a dream about you. We were in the gold roomwhere everyone finally gets what they want.

that scene from when harry met sally where sally says:

One day I was taking Alice’s little girl fro the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I spy” - you know, “I spy a lamppost”, “I spy a mailbox” - and she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice’s little girl said “I spy a family”, and I satrted crying, you know? I just started crying, and I went home

(like anyone else sometimes cries when u see a family doing something nice? is it because i want to participate in a sense of family of my own but have been excluded as a gay person from it’s portrayals and it makes me go :^( cause i dont feel there’s room for me there but i want there to be and i just have to long for this nuclear family heteronormative way of life that i’ve been made to believe is idylic? is it because my parents got divorced and my dad’s an ass and my mom is just a very angry lady and i want to re-do my own childhood? who knows. should we ban movies? yes we should!)

from maurice (ultimate source of tender)

“There was something better in life than this rubbish, if only he could get to it, love, nobility, big spaces where passion clasped peace, spaces no science could reach, but they existed for ever, full of woods some of them, and arched with majestic sky and a friend”

‘Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’ he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep’

we are all so lucky i don’t actually own maurice in english this would just turn into me quoting the whole book

ee cummings voices to voices, lip to lip

the thing perhaps isto eat flowers and not to be afraid.

from virgina woolf’s letters to vita

7 september 1925

january 21 1926 vita writes

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

and on january 26 virginia writes back

Your letter from Trieste came this morning—But why do you think I don’t feel, or that I make phrases? ‘Lovely phrases’ you say which rob things of reality. Just the opposite. Always, always, always I try to say what I feel. Will you then believe that after you went last Tuesday—exactly a week ago—out I went into the slums of Bloomsbury, to find a barrel organ. But it did not make me cheerful … And ever since, nothing important has happened—Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass. Lovely phrases? …

from virginia’s diary, about vita on december 21 1925

I like her and being with her and the splendour–she shines in the grocer’s shop in Sevenoaks with a candle lit radiance, stalking on legs like beech trees, pink glowing, grape clustered, pearl hung.

from virginia woolf’s to the light house

What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart? Could loving, as people called it, make her and Mrs Ramsay one? for it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge, she had thought, leaning her head on Mrs Ramsay’s knee. Nothing happened. Nothing! Nothing! as she leant her head against Mrs Ramsay’s knee. And yet, she knew knowledge and wisdom were stored up in Mrs Ramsay’s heart.

Love had a thousand shapes. There might be lovers whose gift it was to choose out the elements of things and place them together and so, giving them a wholeness not theirs in life, make of some scene, or meeting of people (all now gone and separate), one of those globed compacted things over which thought lingers, and love plays.

there forced themselves upon her other things, her own inadequacy, her insignificance, keeping house for her father off the Brompton Road, and had much ado to control her impulse to fling herself (thank Heaven she had always resisted so far) at Mrs Ramsay’s knee and say to her—but what could one say to her? “I’m in love with you?” No, that was not true. “I’m in love with this all,” waving her hand at the hedge, at the house, at the children. It was absurd, it was impossible

(fun fact: the spanish translation adds something that i’d translate as “one could not say what one meant / what one wanted to say”, which i really like and i was disapointed to find out isnt on the english edition)

It was love, she thought, pretending to move her canvas, distilled and filtered; love that never attempted to clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of the human gain. So it was indeed. The world by all means should have shared it

from the great gatsby

I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away (…) Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around. ‘They’re a rotten crowd,’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’ I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him

from kafka’s diaries

may 27 1911: Today is your birthday, but I am not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not in position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so necessary for me today to be near you for a moment

parts from a from a letter he wrote to oskar pollak on february 4 1902

When we talk together the words are hard; we tread over them as if they were rough pavement. The most delicate things acquire awkward feet and we can’t help it. We’re almost in each other’s way; I bump into you and you - I don’t dare and you. When we come to things that are not exactly cobblestones or the Kunstwart, we suddenly see that we are in masquerade, acting with angular faces (especially me, I admit), and then we become sad and bored. Does anyone make you as bored as I do?

then I fall silent and you fall silent and you become bored, and I become bored and it’s all like a stupid hangover and there’s no use lifting a hand. But neither wants to say this to the other, out of shame or fear or - You see, we are afraid of each other, or I am.

Of course I understand it. It’s boring to stand for years in front of an ugly wall and it just won’t crumble away. Of course, but the wall is afraid for itself, fro the garden (if there is one), and you get out of sorts, yawn, have headaches, don’t know where to turn

You often talk with her, not only for the sake of talking. You walk around with her somewhere here or there, or in Roztok, and i sit at my desk at home. You talk with her, and in the middle of a sentence somebody jumps up and makes a bow. That is me with my untrimmed words and angular faces. That lasts only a moment, and then you go on talking. I sit at my desk at home and yawn. I’ve been trhough it already. Wouldn’t that separate us? Is that so strange? Are we enemies? I am very fond of you

from his leters to milena

Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.

jane wong. from clearing

We want to believe everything has meaning.Plums blossom over a power grid

and I am in love again. The shame of it.

from leslie harrison’s [sirens]

I’m not Penelope married to faith married to waitingbound in fine soft strands of silk dyed and stretchedin my world longing has teeth and fins has a tastefor blood longing is a room built entirely of knives

Lorde’s melodrama tour interlude

Don’t you wish you could go inside a heart, see the strings and atrium’s, everything beating and bleeding. It’s kind of funny, I spend almost every minute thinking about love. Being guided, and divided by love. But I’ve never seen it. It’s just a rumour, a comedown, an afterglow. I wanna see it, in colour. In the summer, I can almost picture it

from Andrea Long Chu’s on liking women

One day, you tell yourself, it will give you what you want. Then, one day, it doesn’t. Now it dawns on you that your object will probably never give you what you want. But this is not what’s disappointing, not really. What’s disappointing is what happens next: nothing. You keep your object. You continue to follow it around, stash it in a drawer, water it, tweet at it. It still doesn’t give you what you want—but you knew that. You have had another realization: not getting what you want has very little to do with wanting it. Knowing better usually doesn’t make it better. You don’t want something because wanting it will lead to getting it. You want it because you want it

ada limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me

But love is impossible and it goes ondespite the impossible. You’re the muscleI cut from the bone and still the boneremembers, still it wants (so much, it wants)the flesh back, the real thing,if only to rail against it, if onlyto argue and fight, if only to missa solve-able absence.

i dont think i need to get into mitski songs because you probably already know but basically pink in the night/come into the water/once more to see you/in happy when she says if you’re going take the train so i can hear it rumble one last rumble/in i want you from the first verse to the first time she goes “i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you” (YES the card thing is very important)/the first verse of i will (w emphasis on everything you feel is good i f you wold only let you)/abbey/strawberry blond

sufjan steven’s futile devices obviously predatory wasp of the palisades you know the drill

was going to find some twin fantasy lyrics but i started thinking about famous prophets (minds) and like. emotionally left my body so. i wont be thinking about it or any other songs anymore it makes me too crazy

from frances ha

It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.

from ellen lee’s notes on twin fantasy that i revisit constantly

there’s no going back to deliver these words to the ones they were really meant for. That’s how heartbreak feels, I guess. It feels like your heart in between the teeth of someone who’s looking away. When you’ve lost your loved object, what happens to all the things you have to say to them? When they’re turned away, what happens to all the things that you couldn’t, but desperately need(ed) to, say to their face? He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes a fantasy. You have your bleeding heart, you have a finite set of memories — when nothing new enters and you’re unwilling to let go, then you have a fantasy. The loved object enters into you and transforms.

the journey home by dermot bolger(havent read this at all dont really plan to/dont know a thing about it either i just came across this shit like 2 years ago and i still think about it)

I wanted to hurt him; I wanted just to touch him. What I wanted I’m not really sure. If he had stopped and opened his arms I would have walked towards him; I would have sat on the kerb all night with him

adam b, sweet i have a (really gay) heart

i feel like my body is the extension of a lake. i feel really badabout not telling you the truth, sometimes. i feelreally small next to you. tall boys remind me of bean stalks.i wish i had your legs. i wish i could know your handsbefore i even touch them

aaaand i think that’s all i could think of and track down, hope this is actually helpful and not too long (i am indecisive no kidding). also ksjdfg it’s nice that you thought to ask me this and i did have fun going over all these quotes so thank you 💖💖💖

#answered #i hope this fits what you were looking for!!#and i hope read mores are working on mobile djfgk #c #thing #Anonymous

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sailorshadzter · 5 years

Text

here’s me compiling all of my thoughts on episode 1 of season 8!! or at least the thoughts i deemed important enough lmao. big focus on jonsa, political jon, and the starks in general.

under the cut for SPOILERS + length.

shout out to all of the amazing content creators out there who have already gif’d this episode. ya’ll are amazing!

anyways, here we go! ps. things could be out of chronological order, sorry lol

lets jump right in with dany and jon arriving at winterfell. i really enjoyed the call back to season 1 bran scrambling up as high as he could to watch robert baratheon & company arrive.

we have them riding in among dany’s army, looking quite like the royal “couple” they want us to believe they are. dany doesnt look particularly interested to even be there and i think it’s because she’s upset at how everyone is looking at her. jon reminds her that the north isnt easy to impress, that they dont look kindly at foreigners. this isnt pleasing to her. dany has to be loved, by everyone. she cant stand thinking not everyone is on her side. in her mind they have to support her because she’s the queen.

but she’s not queen, not yet at least.

next comes the dragons.

the northerners run, some screaming in fear, others just stumbling in an attempt to find shelter from the dragons that fly overhead. and just look at dany’s face. look at her! what a smug little smile, i hope she enjoys it because she’s got a lot coming to her this season.

i hate this, i just want everyone to know. i still like dany but this arrogant, mocking girl is driving me insane and it’s only episode 1. what little bit of likeness i had for her will fade real fast at this rate. she’s glad the people fear her dragons and thus fear her. she knows the northerners probably will never come around to her and bend so she’s going to get them on her side the only way she knows how: her dragons.

lets be real- dany has nothing on her own. she’s nothing but a pretty face with a cold heart capable of dark, brutal things. but what if there werent any dragons? what would she be without them? who would fear her then? sure, she’s got a big ass army... but armies can be beaten. armies can be led astray by their own leaders doing. so yeah, she’s got an army but in the end, thats not foolproof. but dragons? those are pretty damn foolproof (unless you send your ~romantic interest~ off on a suicide mission that ends up costing you one of said dragons). she’s going to try and coerce everyone in the north through fear and it might work on the common folk, but wait til she meets the Starks.

yeah, do these girls look afraid?

not at all.

youre a man. almost.

i low key teared up at their reunion. it was sweet. plus it was nice to see bran in a more human moment. he’s always so robotic, i thought it was nice to hear him joke a little.

as jon is looking at bran, you can see the moment he realizes sansa is looking at him. he pulls back from bran and turns to her (wow she looks beautiful, i cant even get over that).

(gif by @stark)

sansa opens her arms to jon and i have to admit... the hug felt almost lackluster... at first. once i watched it a second and third time, i started seeing the things i didnt see the first time.

for one thing- it was so amazing in the trailer because we could see jon’s face. kit is so incredible at his facial expressions and you knew exactly what jon was feeling the moment he saw sansa. with sansa, she’s very subdued- but its definitely done on purpose. obviously, she’s happy to see jon but she’s angry with him too. and dozens of people are there watching them, including this queen he’s brought with him. she has to be careful.

(gif by @stark)

this instant, ever since i saw the trailer, ive thought jon whispered something to her. that’s why her eyes immediately flick up and pin their focus on dany who is standing just across the courtyard. we dont hear jon say anything but that doesnt mean he doesnt. what i find interesting about this is how in the episode, we’re shown sansa’s face and her emotional reactions to whats happening, but we dont see jon’s. in the trailer, it cuts to sansa’s eyes as soon as jon reaches her embrace, so we never see jon’s face in this scene. meaning, we dont see his lips ever move. i still want to believe he whispers something to her, but i almost feel like sansa would have referenced it later in the episode when they speak privately. but, you never know!

next we have jon introducing sansa to dany, which as we all suspected, did not go well.

as dany walks up, she’s smiling, her tone charming. her eyes are wide and she looks soft- she’s good at this. notice how no one in the courtyard moves, no one kneels or even bows in dany’s presence as they had once done for robert baratheon. this is not their queen.

i literally laughed as dany said this.

she’s trying desperately to come across as likable. she knows most of the north won’t bow to her without the backing of this girl and while she has her dragons to instill fear, she probably does want sansa to like her. she’s in love with her “brother” after all. they’d be sisters, so they should get along, right?

wrong.

sansa sees right through her. she’s good at finding a liar- she’s spent her whole life around them. learning from them, the best of them. you cant lie or manipulate sansa stark. not anymore.

(gif by @cptainsrogers)

whew boy, that’s the face of someone who’s pissed. how quickly she changes!! as soon as sansa speaks, she loses her smile and blinks and she breathes in. she’s trying to restrain herself and keep a calm, cool composure. but its written all over dany’s face here- she’s not happy.

again, im reminded that this is a woman who cant be told no and who doesnt like when someone isnt falling over themselves to please her. sansa is clearly not impressed with dany and she’s not afraid to let her know that. she’s calm, polite, but her tone & face says everything her words cant.

bran interrupting was great.

he sees what’s going on here and he’s right, now isnt the time for a little cat fight. he tells them that the night king has a dragon & dany’s reaction is clear she didn’t know that yet (right? i could be forgetting lol) & basically there’s like 100 other things they need to think about right then. which to be fair is totally true. but i had hoped to see a little more between sansa & dany. what i loved though was jon didn’t look at dany when bran mentioned the night king having her dragon, he looked at sansa.

now i wanna talk about arya and jon’s reunion because

well... i have feelings.

while the initial reunion was really sweet & had me crying, it ended real quick

this scene is where i really noticed jon was “off”

jon stoops down and puts a hand on her shoulder (which arya looks down at) as he talks to her. where were you before? i could have used your help with sansa. she doesnt like your queen, does she?

then we get this next line from jon.

first things first, it’s almost like jon doesnt realize she’s grown up. he’s got his hand on her shoulder, down at her level like you would with a kid. i mean, he probably cant help it, can he? she’s always going to be his kid sister, after all. thats how he knows her and remembers her. not to mention he’s been pretending to be someone else around dany for a long time now, he’s trying to shake himself back into the person his family knows him as

arya looks at his hand before she says she’s the smartest person i know. you’re defending her now? you?

like he cant really believe that these two sisters that only used to bicker and fight are getting along to the point that arya is defending her to him. this is where i get upset with jon because he’s been gone for how long now? has he even bothered to talk to sansa about all that happened at winterfell? has he even asked her anything about what’s been going on while he was gone? clearly not, or he would know how close arya and sansa have become in his absence. that they’d taken out littlefinger together, even!

i’m defending my family. so is she. i’m her family too.

that alone points me into the direction of political jon. he’s avoiding sansa because he’s less likely to control himself in front of her. he might spill the beans about what he’s up to and its not time yet. he cant let that happen, not until the right time. while we all know he’d be better off telling her and the other starklings, so they could fight as a united pack... jon hasn’t come to that conclusion yet. lets hope he gets there next episode, though.

he sounds so sad, so dejected when he delivers his line. like, sansa should be defending him, smiling, just in general happy to see him back. he’s brought a massive army and dragons! he did what he thought was best for the north and he cant quite grasp why sansa would be upset with him. one of jon’s weaknesses is sansa and how he thinks she feels about him. he craves her approval and he knows she’s angry with him at this point. and man does that bother him. he thinks she should have ultimate faith in him, even though he doesnt really deserve that, does he? anyways, thats a conversation for later in the post.

ps i love that he looks around before saying im her family too. almost as if he’s afraid of being overheard.

dont you ever forget that.

yeah i had to pause the show at this point just to compose myself. this second hug was just as sweet as the first and im glad it was there. it finished the scene out nicely.

i love how we got this moment of them being addressed at the same time, in frame like this. i live for moments like this, with them side by side.

we get a lot of talk back and forth about why jon bent the knee and of course we get lyanna mormont calling his dumb ass out.

i was waiting for this scene too & it didnt disappoint me.

also i find his choice of words interesting

sansa looks back at him and she’s literally the embodiment of the shrug emoji. like bitch i told u so. she has zero sympathy for him and the mess he’s in with the northern lords because she fucking told him it would happen.

tyrion gets up and tries to do some mega damage control because lets be real, this situation is getting nasty. he talks about dany’s amazing army and the dragons as if this will lighten the mood. he also mentions about the lannister army coming (lol) like this is what will get everyone on their side.

sansa interrupts and god do i love her more than i ever did

finally someone asking the REAL questions.

sansa has worried about feeding the entire north the whole time jon has been gone. she’s built up as much as she could to ensure her people didn’t starve to death come winter. now jon shows up with this queen and her massive army with not even a wagon load of grain. when it cuts to dany a moment later, you can see she’s visibly shaken by sansa’s comment. hmm, wonder why? it couldn’t be because she’d just burned TONS of food that could have been used to feed her army and the rest of the north out of spite, right? nah, couldn’t be.

sansa spits out these words and just look at her face- she’s doing her best to control herself here but her mouth is a snarl and her eyes are narrowed. she’s got every right to be angry over this- her people will probably starve because this so called queen hasn’t provided anything for her own army and now sansa will have to figure it out herself. if she’s this angry already, imagine how she’s going to feel when she learns dany burned all that food when she burned the lannister army.

what makes me angry here is dany’s response. whatever they want. she’s so fucking childish i cant stand it. like she’s so bent out of shape that sansa’s calling her out basically, she’s going to resort to these sort of comments. like, you keep calling yourself a queen, fucking act like it dany. not a jealous, spoiled little girl. id respect her a whole lot more if she’d stood up for herself and her dragons here but that was never going to happen. its out of her character, especially at this point in her story. her dragons really could never do any wrong, in her eyes. and at this point i wouldnt be surprised to hear her defend them burning houses, crops, or innocent people.

this episode is not making me like dany anymore. i cant stand characters like her, good or bad ones. and we all know dany is trending bad these days. but sansa doesnt even respond which is fantastic- instead of listening to her, everyone is focused on what dany had just said. we stan the real queen.

im pretty sure next we see the bit between tyrion and sansa.

i didnt dislike the scene, it was actually pretty good. i especially liked the last time we saw each other was at joffrey’s wedding. dismal affair. it had it’s moments.

we also got this

not only is this true, we also later hear dany threaten sansa.

interesting.

but other than that, i didnt take much away from it. sansa was cool to him, as i expected her to be to anyone on dany’s side. tyrion may have been kind to her once, but as far as she’s concerned... he’s basically her enemy now. plus the whole scene before couldn’t have helped.

somehwere in this we get all that junk with jon and dany.

i... hated it. all of it.

but after seeing it im 100% certain political jon is coming. his stiff demeanor with dany hasn’t changed, thats for sure. but what sold me was when dany threatened sansa.

i’m queen, she must respect me or...

we all know how jon “dont touch my sister or else” snow acts when someone mentions sansa around him in a way he doesnt like. the fact that jon barely even REACTS is clear in its message: he cant behave like he normally would. not with dany. he cant even go against her because he know how easy it is for her to become swayed. he cant lose control of the situation, not yet. i think he knows things are spiraling out of control more quickly than he anticipated.

political jon must be a thing because there’s no reason for him to then roam across the north on a fucking dragon. the whole jonerys scene was as lackluster as they all have been and the kiss with drogon watching was very... weird. it felt ominous almost. there was no romance behind it, even if dany wanted there to be.

but i think its very clear that dany feels threatened by sansa. she needs to be loved by everyone and sansa makes it clear she cares little if at all for her. queen or not, sansa doesnt respect her, nor like her, and she isnt afraid to make it known. i worry how dany is going to behave the deeper into this love triangle we get (because they sure arent being subtle about it).

also, something i find interesting is the fact that dany would allow jon to ride her dragons at all. now that he has rode rhaegal he’s created a bond with the dragon, essentially taking him from dany’s control. she’s more or less lost 2 dragons now. and if you dont think jon would use this dragon against her to protect his family... then we must be watching two different shows.

next comes jon’s scene with sansa (i think, at least its what im gonna talk about next lol). finally we get a glimpse of them alone! and god it doesnt disappoint me at all. i mean, id have loved to have more of it of course- yelling and even some tears, but we got something simple and hyper charged with both of their emotions. as always, the jonsa scenes get it done with as little as possible.

we get a lot of angry stares and heavy sighs. its the same damn energy as the tent scene before the battle of the bastards. i love it. i fucking live for it. there’s so many things left unsaid between them and it makes me want their next scene that much more. literally, this scene was less than 2min long and i got so much from it.

the scene opens and sansa is in her chamber, reading. the knock on the door sounds and she calls them in and she sighs when she sees it’s jon. the first thing i noticed was jon back in his old direwolf armor- he changed clothes before coming to her rooms- and then sansa paraphrases what the letter she’s holding says. jon parrots back lord glover’s words to them back when they met and thats when sansa gets up, very clearly angry, and says i will stand behind jon snow, the king in the north. she whips around to look at him and walks across the room like she wants to do something else entirely. i told you we needed allies. you didnt tell me you were going to abandon your crown.

this is where jon explodes, much how he explodes back in the tent scene with her. i never wanted a crown! i wanted to protect the north! he tells her, then goes on to say he brought with him an army and 2 dragons. this is where i wish we would have had more- sansa yelling at him about did he even think of how they would feed them all, specifically. but we get a lot of ~emotion~ and im living for every second.

(gifs by @desired-paradise)

as soon as jon finishes ranting, he heaves a huge sigh (first gif). then he closes his eyes, thinking for a moment, before breaking down an asking her if she has faith in him. look at her face- she’s so hurt. they’re both hurting, honestly. what i love about jonsa scenes is how soft and vulnerable they both are during them. they let down their walls and open their hearts to the other.

i think that’s why jon is so hurt by how sansa has been treating him since his return. he thinks he deserves her ultimate trust not realizing how he really doesnt deserve it. not,yet. you know i do. despite it all, she does have faith in him. but that doesnt mean she isnt angry or upset with him. and it doesnt change how she feels about dany. trust is not something that comes easy to sansa, not anymore. how can she be expected to trust a complete stranger when even those who were supposed to care about her turned on her? when for so long everyone around her was nothing beyond abusive and harmful. this girl trusts no one but her family and jon should get that better than anyone.

but he thinks because its him, he gets a pass from her. that because of all they’ve been through together sansa should automatically know where his heart is and the truth of him. but how can she? he’s been gone all this time, promising to find them allies, not a queen that they didn’t ask for or even want. he promised them allies that would help them, not doom them to starvation.

when sansa speaks, he takes a step forward, almost like he thought of reaching for her. but he thinks better of it and says something about how she’ll be a good queen, yada yada.

and then... sansa drops this bomb

we never get jon’s answer because thats it, the scene just fucking ends there. like alright guys, thats fine i didnt want the answer anyways. i know jonerys fans are insisting he doesn’t answer because we already know the answer to that. but its not that easy.

the set up between jon and sansa can’t be for nothing. the back story from season 6 cant just be a random addition. so many lines that will come back this season (ill protect you, i promise. you are to me. ect) and i cant wait for that.

next i want to talk about when dany and jorah meet with sam.

first off, i have to say its weird that jorah has never told dany his name? is that just me? anyways. the scene opens and it reminds me a lot of the feel from her first meeting with sansa. dany is smiling, jovial. this is the man that saved jorah from death and she wants to thank him personally. their conversation goes well- in fact, its kind of sweet how sam behaves. he’s honored to be standing before her, being addressed by her, because he doesnt know who daenerys targaryen is yet. but he’s about to find out.

similarly to how dany reacted when sansa didn’t return her compliment, she goes from soft and smiling to hard and somewhat aggressive.

we go from this:

to this:

(image from @snowsjohn)

in record time. as soon as sam mentions his name, it registers with dany and she asks him if he meant randyll tarly. that’s when she immediately, without sympathy, tells him she executed his father. you can see sam get visibly upset but he’s doing his best to keep it together, saying at least i can go home now, which by the way... is fucking heartbreaking. now that his brother is in charge he could go back home and be with his family when this whole thing was over. oh nope, dany tells him she executed his brother too.

how anyone can stand behind this queen, ill never understand. this scene was so sad for sam & so unfeeling for dany. she doesnt even have the sense to pretend to be remorseful for what she’s done to this man’s family. and when sam does leave, she looks upset- but not because of what she’d done to his family. because now she’s in trouble and she knows it. again, they’re making it incredibly easy to dislike dany and they’re doing it for a reason.

dark dany is coming for us. it’s going to all be revealed in the next two episodes, without a doubt.

last but not least, i want to talk about sam telling jon the truth of who his parents were.

(gifs by @kitsn0w)

i loved this whole scene.

while i was really surprised they told jon so early (and that it was sam alone) i enjoyed the shock. i didn’t honestly anticipate the reveal until at least episode 2, if not the third at the latest. but, it added something to the first episode- a similar shock value the first episode of the first season left us with.

what i take from this scene is a few things, mostly how upset jon seems just to realize that this means ned lied to him his whole life. who gives a fuck about the truth, why didn’t ned just tell him all along? but when sam says the line about robert killing him, he seems to calm down a little.

what else is interesting is jon’s lack of defending dany here. if he loved her as we’re supposed to believe, wouldnt he have said something beyond this is treason. id expect a “what will i say to her?” or “i cant take this from her, its all shes ever wanted’ or even “its hers, not mine.” anything else! but we got nothing in terms of jon defending dany’s right to the crown.

and when sam asks him if dany would give up her crown for his people as jon had done, we don’t get jon’s answer. similarly to his scene being cut off with sansa, its done here as well, and we’re only left wondering what he would say. why wouldn’t they let him say? if he loves dany so much, wouldn’t he jump at this chance to defend her? especially to sam, who’s going to have a hell of time going forward now that he learned what dany did to his family. more so, it’s not yet been revealed that she burned them alive. what will they say then? when they realize that?

i guess we’ll find out next episode, especially now that jaime is in winterfell. im really excited to see what episode 2 brings & im hoping for more dark dany & more private moments among the starks.

overall, i really did enjoy the episode. i think there were things that could have been done better or differently, but i think the episode set us up for a lot of good things to come!

in conclusion:

- jonsa is endgame & jonerys is doomed. sorry guys.

- political jon theory is confirmed (in my mind at least)

- sansa is still the queen of sass.

- arya & gendry flirting is adorable (im sorry i know i didnt talk about them)

- WHERE. IS. GHOST?

thanks for reading!

#jonsa #game of thrones #got s8 e1 #text post #jon snow #sansa stark #daenerys targaryen

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theyrejustadream-away · 6 years

Text

Soulmate!Jimin

Park Jimin; fluff

Happy late birthday Jimin! We love you!

Word count: 1769

Alright yall welcome to my first official bullet scenario

Let’s see how this goes

Ok anyways

It’s Jimin’s birthday and I wanna do something special for him

I hope he gets better,, i know it isn’t serious but still

And the whole soulmate AU is something i love wholeheartedly and i want to write one

Let’s get it (imagine jungkook saying that)

So Jimin’s a junior in college

Jimin is pretty well known on campus for his dancing and although he isn’t as outgoing or social as Taehyung or Jungkook, he still is pretty popular

Mainly because he’s hot but

So being a junior, he basically knows most of the “secrets” on campus

Like where to hang out, study, eat breakfast, you name it and he’ll tell you

Oh yeah he’s such a sweetheart

Will walk you to where you need to go if it’s dark out

Carries your books if you look like you’re about to drop them

The whole “prince charming” deal, it’s understandable if hordes of girls chase after him

Who wouldnt, right?

Welp with the creation of the Soulmate System, it sorta gets rid of the idea of unnecessary crushes

Which seems sad BUT it reduces heartbreak and all the sad stuff that comes from failed relationships

So the way it works is that everyone has a black rectangle on the inside of their left wrist

And everytime they speak to their soulmate, the rectangle gets lighter and lighter until you can read the name

Of course there are flaws and your soulmate might have a different person on their wrist or you just never end up meeting them

But we aren’t gonna talk about that, this is going to be a happy one!!

Back to Jimin

As i was saying, he always knows what places to hit up

And of course, the only way to know this is if he goes there himself

One day, he finished his last class of the day and stepped outside only to get hit with a strong gust of wind and a sudden chill

Its F A L L

Which means cafes!! Warm drinks!! Sweaters!!

Once he composes himself and fixes his hair, he starts wandering through the city surrounding his college

After drifting from place to place, he finally spots a small coffee shop that’s hidden by a fancy department store

Like it’s literally right next to the store but it’s so minimalistic that you just dont really notice it

But he does!!

So he goes in and he’s just met with warmth and soft piano melodies coming from above and the smell of something sweet in the oven and he just melts

This is exactly what he needs

Walking up to the counter, he looks at the menu and decides to get something simple

Because if this place cant make a good cappuccino then it fails in his eyes

Speaking of eyes

As he was collecting his change from the cashier, you just happened to walk in for your shift

And boy did his heart do a weird thing in his chest and he just couldnt take his eyes off of you

Honestly you were just in your uniform (white button down, navy apron, dark pants, hair up) and not in the best of moods because you may or may not have forgotten to turn on the alarm and was late for your first class

Always double check your alarms friends

Basically you were just not looking your best at the moment

But did Jimin think that?

N O PE

The poor boy almost left his wallet at the counter because he just couldnt stop looking at you

Although that may sound creepy at first, it was more of a ‘who is this angel in front of me’ stare with eyes bright and shining to the point where it was just endearing

That didnt stop the person behind him from coughing and letting him know that there is a full line right behind him ohmygod jimIN MOVE

You, on the other hand, didn’t notice a thing and went to your station where you made drinks and call out people’s names and all that jazz

He picked a seat near the back of the cafe after he ordered, where he had a view of everything

And by everything, i mean you

“She’s so pretty wow i want to talk to her but what if she thinks im weird??? What would i even say? How would i eve-”

“Jimin? Your order is ready”

“Ohmygod she said my name what do i do??”

“Jimin? Is there a Jimin here?”

“Ye-Yes!”

His voice cracks and he feels his face heat up

Gone is the charming and confident Jimin

Hello to the shy and clumsy Jimin

The poor boy almost spills his drink because he’s nervous and his voice already cracked and you’re giggling

Bless your soul for trying to hide it behind your hand and spare him the embarrassment

But you laughing isn’t helping because now he’s even more red and thinking ‘wow your laugh is so cute can you literally get any more adorable’

“Does coffee make you this nervous?”

“No, it’s the cute girl giving it to me”

He’s thankful that he didn’t embarrass himself anymore and somewhat recovered

Because now you’re the blushing one (he’s still a little pink from before but he decided he enjoys seeing you flustered more than anything)

Eventually he had to leave because wow it’s late and he still has homework to do

So he sadly walks out, taking a glance at where you were working but you were busy with another customer so you didn’t see him look at you

BUT he comes back almost everyday just to see you

It does a number on his wallet but hey, who needs money when you’re in college, right?

I’m kidding being a college kid is so expensive ohmygod

Everytime he comes by, he always tries to make you blush or laugh

Maybe at the same time

He just wants to get to know you better because you’re a really sweet person and he has this urge to hold your hand or hug you or kiss you but he pushes it down

At the same time, the mark on the inside of his wrist has been getting lighter and lighter

He can faintly make out the name hidden and he oh so desperately wants it to be you

You, on the other hand, could read the name on your wrist

Guess what?

It says Jimin!

You were so happy the day you found out

And when you saw him the next day you were just !!!!!!!

But he didn’t say anything about it.. Not even a small hint to let you know he knew

So you were confused

Did he just not like you in that way?

Or even worse

What if you weren’t his soulmate?

You confided in your best friend once you got back home after seeing him

“He didn’t even mention the mark? What if it isn’t my name?”

“Does he know your name?”

“..I think he does?”

“Wait how are you not sure??? Haven’t you guys been talking for a month now?”

A few days passed and Jimin still doesnt know your name

But his wrist says ‘Y/N’ and he can’t remember anyone with that name

So he decides that today is the day he’ll ask you for your name

Because he’s also worried that he isnt your soulmate

You knew his name already, and if he was destined to be yours why hadn’t you told him?

Did you not like him?

He kept stressing over it for hours on end and his roommate finally told him to go out and ask

Although it was just to stop Jimin from pacing around their shared dorm and making his roommate dizzy from all his sudden movements

And being Jimin, he dresses up and styles his hair

To be honest, if you hadn’t already fallen for him then you definitely did when he walked through the doors

“If your man taking you out on a date, he looks hOT”

“Jackson shut up i swear i’m going to spill hot coffee on yo- hi Jimin!”

It all goes according to plan at first

He hasn’t embarrassed himself or had his voice crack

He goes and waits near you, and since there weren’t many customers you could talk to him without having another cranky customer yell at you

looking at you, old man who came in and ordered hot water. who even does that what it wrong with you

You were still a little upset that he hadn’t mentioned anything about his mark

But you acted as if nothing was wrong

So when he just says “What’s your name?” without even saying hi, your heart sort of knew what was going to happen before you did

It started beating faster and a smile was threatening to show but before you did anything dumb, you answered

“y/n… why?”

And he gives the brightest smile, like the Sun can fight me because Jimin’s smile outshines it in this very moment

“Because I think you’re meant to be mine”

Cue the various aww’s coming from your coworkers and that sweet old couple who’s been shipping the both of you ever since Jimin brought you a lily he saw on his way that ‘reminded him of you’

Jackson also starts screaming a little and jumping because finally you two pieced it altogether

Jackson knew ever since you asked him about your whole dilemma because once you took a sick day and he ended up talking to Jimin

And coincidentally saw Jimin’s wrist and went :D

But he couldn’t say anything because he wanted the both of you to reach that conclusion on your own

Still, it was really obvious that there was something there

Back to Jimin and you,,

As soon as he said that you ran around the counter and tackled him in a huge hug

Jimin didn’t see that coming but he caught you in time and he sort of stumbled back but who cares because ohmygod he finally gets to hug you

This is all he’s been dreaming of

He feels so warm and soft and smells a little like peppermint and you can hear his heart beating just as fast and yours and his whole body is shaking with laughter because he really can’t do anything other than smile and laugh

He’s hugging you tightly and everything felt right in the world

Jimin found his other half and you found yours too!

hope you enjoyed <3

#park jimin #bts #jimin #bts jimin #bts fluff #jimin fluff #bullet scenario #fluff #soulmate au #love yourself #FIRST ONE ON THE NEW ACCOUNT #ESKETIT

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jennilah · 6 years

Text

oh hey I just realized it’s exactly one year since the worst summer ever

depressing shit under the cut but with a happy ending

idk how many of you remember my blogging last summer but im sure it wasn’t fun to read. I won’t go over the job hunt anxiety stuff because i already covered that in great detail but im sure some of you remember my dog passed away. one year ago yesterday, in fact. Everything was already shitty, then that happened and it got shittier, then it got shittier and shittier.... until it wasn’t shitty anymore.

i had no idea one year passed so fast. I thought it happened in august if anything. idk. it still feels like it was no more than five months ago. it still feels like i got this job no more than four months ago.

I was just thinking about him this week wondering how much time has passed and i was surprised to find out how much its been. It still hurts knowing that hes not around? like, knowing that when I go home to visit I wont hear his barking at the window or feel his fur ever again. it was the softest fur

I dont know whats “normal” with this kind of thing. is it still normal to cry a year later? I feel like I should be over it. I can talk about it and talk about the memory of him without crying, but I still can’t get into the details of it. I can’t even look at yorkies without my heart hurting still. Sometimes I have a hard time going to sleep because I think about the night that it happened and how the house was a disaster zone with panic and grief from my family.

idk man

but I gotta shout out to, weirdly enough, Godzilla. I started my godzilla binge before he got sick and watching those movies helped keep my spirits high during and after the week of his passing.

i had no idea that not even a year later i would be working on a godzilla movie, one ive been looking forward to for years as a fan, and thats a mind boggling turn of fate

almost exactly one year later, while working on godzilla, i had my department coordinator come to me to ask if i would be interested in working on a project in Los Angeles for a few months. Because according to him, my work ethic and the way “I compose myself while working” and the quality and turnaround of my work is commendable, and because of that they thought I would do well on this project if I was interested.

I said I was flattered but I turned it down, I’m not terribly interested in said project enough to deal with finding temporary housing in a city I don’t really want to live in (no offence to LA folk. I’m sure it’s nice, Im just really enjoying Montreal and don’t want to be taken off of Godzilla) But to be approached like that is huge to me. The effort I’ve been putting in is getting noticed. (And to think that when he pulled me aside to talk to me privately that I was in trouble! “Hey Jenna, how are you doing?” “Well uh, that depends I think???” ”Don’t worry, it’s a good thing” ”Oh okay, then I’m doing great!”) Then I found out they were approaching many animators which made it feel slightly less special, but I feel honored to be among the people they were asking, who I find much, much more qualified than myself. It makes me less worried about approaching my boss about my contract extension soon.

It’s just surreal.

one year, man.

#jennilargh

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Text

Chapter Two - Turtleneck Sweater

“So it’s...Elliot?”

“Yup.”

“Not a name I'm used to hearing, sorry.”

“Well, neither is Decius, but hey,” they shrugged. “Anyway, you’ve had a better reaction than others have.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“No need to apologize, Koushi, nothing you can do about it. I’ve learned to accept it.”

He smirked, nudging their arm with his shoulder. “Hey, at least I don’t get an ego hit anymore when you wear those basketball sneakers you loved so much in middle school. Nothing wrong with a dude being taller than me.”

Elliot laughed, taking a sip from his (new) monster. Since they knocked into each other, they started catching up (and he was nice enough to get him another monster). They hadn’t realized how long it had been since they last spoke, but it was nice to be in each other’s presence again. After all, the other was the reason they both made it through middle school.

It was safe to say, Elliot had missed his best friend. It had been too long since he and Suga got to spend time together.

Moving to Tokyo for their dad’s job left Elliot heartbroken and unsure of what to do—they weren’t exactly the friendliest person (understatement) and had trouble making friends in real life (also an understatement). Moving away from Sugawara was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, but in the last two years, it was almost like it didn’t matter

Which was a really, really bad way of putting it. But it was the best wait he could think to explain. Over the last few years, they’d grown apart and rarely talked despite being so close from the age of five on up.

Then again, he never did well in awkward situations. And things had been awkward when he left. He never wanted to overstep anything, so kinda stopped answering his phone. Not intentionally—he never ignored Suga—but would go a couple of hours without a reply, then the other would go a couple of hours. Hours turned into days and days turned into not knowing how to start a conversation.

Which, again, was his fault. At least partly.

“There’s always that,” he laughed. “Seriously, though, thank you for being so chill about this, man. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, El—if that’s who you are, that’s who you are, y’know? Oh, am I allowed to tell my bandmates? They’re good friends of mine, but I’ve talked about you a lot the last couple weeks.”

“Yeah, sure—wait, that’s why you’re here?”

In the ten minutes of them talking and sitting on the curb, neither thought to mention what they were doing there.

“Yeah! That battle of the bands thing! You didn’t see us yet?”

“Not yet, no—then again, any time I’m not playing or practicing, I’m more worried about writing. I leave it to Akaashi to get videos for me.”

“So you can overanalyze them later?”

“You get it!”

“Same dumbass I knew in middle school, then,” Suga laughed, pulling out his phone to check the time. “Ah, hell—told my friends I’d be back in 15 and it’s been almost 30. I gotta get going, but text me later, okay? We gotta catch up sometime this week.”

“We do! Yeah, I gotta head out, anyway, no worries. Text me when you’re bored and we can talk for a while.”

“Sounds good.”

The two of you stood, Suga offering his hand to help them up. They took it with a grin

“I’ll see you later, then,” he asked, keeping their hand in his. With one look, they knew what he was thinking. They spun him, then he spun them around, the two of them high-fiving among several different moves they came up with as little kids.

They broke away, laughing. After all these years, they still had it.

They said their goodbyes again and headed off in different directions. He thought a lot on his way over to Bokuto’s, though—Suga had grown up a lot in the last couple of years. One would say he was pretty. Definitely pretty, actually. Maybe cute.

Unfortunately, the further he walked, the more he thought. And the more he thought, the closer he came to the decision.

Ah, shit. Cute boy.

♬♬♬

Within a couple of minutes of walking, he arrived at Bokuto’s place to hang out before Akaashi and Hiraku came over for practice. They rarely exchanged small talk anymore—three years of extremely close friendship will do that to someone—and Elliot just followed him to his room.

“Had to come out again today.”

“Oh, fun! Not fun? I dunno, how’d it go?” Bokuto asked, flopping backward on his bed. He kicked his fluffy blanket to the bottom, leaving room for them to sit.

“Well...not bad, at least. Just a little weird.”

“I get the feeling you’re gonna talk for a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t have to—“

“Elliot, no, that was a joke.” He sat up, grabbing his hand. Bokuto smiled gently, reassuring him as best he could. “Tell me about it. What happened?”

They squeezed his hand gently, glad for the extra comment. It was a common process: talking/thinking about too much gender stuff -> overthinking -> a little too much anxiety -> self-doubt or crabby mood. As many mood swings that Bokuto had, they knew how to get the other to cool off. Both knew Akaashi was the best with them, but they made do with what they had.

“You remember I moved here after middle school, right?” Bokuto nodded, so they continued. “Before that, I was in Miyagi, all that fun stuff. Anyway. A really old friend of mine is in town for the battle of the bands and I got to talk to him today.”

“Was he shocked?”

“Oh, not really. I’ve always been a little ‘different’ when it comes to style—hell, I started shaving designs into my head when I was...I think ten? Maybe nine. But he said he was happy for me and if that’s who I am, that’s who I am, y’know?”

Bokuto smiled, squeezing their hand. “That’s awesome! Love it when that happens. Good for you for telling him, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Elliot said, smiling awkwardly at him. They took their hand back, beginning to pick at their nails (like usual when thinking too much).

Bokuto took their hand back and leaned over to his bedside table. He grabbed a marker and handed it to him. “Draw me something pretty. No picking.”

They laughed, hanging their head for a second. The laughter increased when he started poking their arm, screeching, “don’t! Hide! Your! Smile! Elliot!” between each poke. It was a nasty habit of theirs that they were trying their best to break, but Bokuto helped a lot with it.

So, they took the marker and started drawing.

About a half-hour and several games of Uno later, Bokuto had both hands full of doodles and designs while they talked about anything and everything.

Somehow, they managed to get onto the topic of love lives.

“Look, dude, I am determined! I’m gonna get a girlfriend by the end of high school! Or a boyfriend. Probably a girlfriend though cause I dunno about the guy's part. But it’s a possibility!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Bo,” they rolled their eyes. He was so in denial, really. They and Akaashi had a bet going.

He pouted. “Hey, well, you’re not doing any better than me! At least I like someone.”

“So you admit it!”

“Not my point!”

They laughed, running their hand through their hair. “I mean, if you’re that competitive, there might be someone…”

“AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???”

“Oh my god, shut up, Bokuto!” They swatted his arm (gently) and grabbed a pillow (proceeding to hide their face in it.

Bokuto only continued to pick on them for it. He tried taking the pillow from their vice grip, asking more questions and even tried rolling them off the bed, but they wouldn’t budge.

“Just WHAT am I your best friend for if you DONT tell me who you have a crush on??” he demanded, finally pulling the pillow out from under their arms. He then hit them with it before discarding it.

“Fine fine fine—if you want to know so bad, you have to guess.”

“But you’ll tell me if I guess correct?”

“No promises.”

“You’re horrible!”

“You love me. Take a shot at it.”

He thought for a moment, a starry, stupid look in his eyes. “OOH OOH OOH, DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME?”

“You’re disgusting.”

Bokuto clasped his hand over his chest, falling back on the bed like he’d just been shot. But very over dramatically. “You’ve wounded me!” Elliot kicked his leg and he shot up straight. “Okay, okay, okay, fine. What about...ooh, what was your friend’s name? Suga...sugaworo khaki?”

“Sugawara Koushi?”

“Yeah, that’s it! Him!”

Elliot sighed. There might have been some...feelings in middle school. But nothing they ever acted on. Not in a timely manner, of course. And now--shit, now he was gorgeous and all those crazy feelings from middle school were kinda coming back but also not really? Was he just thinking about this too much? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit--

“You’re blushing, El--”

“Shut up.”

He smirked, nudging their arm. “Why are you blushing, Elliot?”

“You’re horrible.”

“So I shouldn’t mention Akaashi right now, either?”

He knew just how to push his buttons, didn’t he?

No, he didn't...like akaashi like that, but he had to admit that he was great. Really great. Like totally want to kiss him sometimes great. But he didn't like him like that. They were just really close friends and knew each other better than almost anyone else and talked almost 24/7 and they wrote music a lot even though Akaashi barely knew anything about music and a lot of his songs were about him--

“You’re still blushing.”

Elliot sighed. So he was gonna play dirty like that? Time to pull out his trap card. Which sounded stupid but it worked.

He composed himself, blinked a couple of times, and smiled evilly at Bokuto. “So, Bokuto--how’s Hiraku?”

“Oh, now you're the horrible one!”

They laughed when Bokuto hit them in the head with the previously discarded pillow. He knew what talking about Hiraku did to him--he got embarrassed and pouty until he talked to her again, then his adrenaline shot up again. Freakin dork.

Yes, this is how i actually think. Yes, this is how character elliot's brain works. Im getting slowly more nervous about this because people get to see how weird i am lol. Anyway, show of hands, who wants to talk about who you have a crush on bokuto

Also hahaha i am very trans gtfo if ur transphobic

Is it bad i expect to lose followers for this lol

taglist: @ellewords @shoyotime @i-reblog-storie @tama-jam

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#selfship!akaashi #//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ #ᴘʟᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ <3

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tasyoungreckless · 7 years

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may these memories break our fall. – Nashville secret sessions story

“Is that Kara?” she asked loudly over the music as she grabbed my hands and twirled me around. I was stumbling on the pillows below my feet but grasped her hands so tight. All I could do was aggressively nod and hope she couldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes in the dark, candle-lit room.

I have read dozens, if not hundreds of Taylor meet and greet stories. I have cried out of love for her and happiness for my friends and sadness that it wasn’t me. I have felt so close to meeting her and insanely disappointed when it didn’t happen. But the feeling I had on October 25? The feeling like my dreams were coming true but that I was also maybe going to pass out? That feeling was worth it. It was worth everything to me. So, here’s my story. It’s been a long time in the making. (I’m leaving out the stuff from before because it was just getting so long, but I got my message on tumblr from TN on Saturday and my call on Sunday. i bought flights Monday and my mom insisted on flying from DC and meeting me there to make sure it was all legit, even though she couldn’t come with).

OKAY SO once we got to the secret spot, I saw people I recognized and made lots of friends waiting (hi everyone!!!) We got checked in, did security all that jazz. We finally got to her house and mingled outside and ate. There were chick-fil-a nuggets (which is so funny because a few months ago I messaged Taylor to come to my Fourth of July party and all I said was “Come to my party. We will have chick fil a nuggets” LOL. on brand) and sushi and the REP cookies and M&Ms. Not a lot of people were eating much but you BET YOUR ASS i was chowing down.

They let us into the room where we would listen to the album and I got a spot slightly to the left of where Taylor would be sitting. The floor was just covered in blankets and pillows and it looked like a huge slumber party was about to go down.

Before we knew it, Taylor walked in with Abigail and of course we all lost it. I think you have all seen what they were wearing by now, but god they looked like angels. Taylor looked exactly like I imagined and yet so different too. It is such a strange feeling seeing someone you have always seen in pictures in real life. Someone you see virtually every single day. I teared up because I just was so so excited and felt like it wasn’t real life.

So obviously y’all know what is next and that is she played us all of reputation. The album blew me away. It’s not like I was surprised, because I knew it would be good, but like it was just SO good?! And so cool to watch Taylor and Abi, Tree, Andrea and Scott singing along and doing these little dances. All of us were just JAMMING on the floor listening along.

I thought it was really incredible how Taylor made eye contact with every single person in that room. Every single one. Multiple times. It didn’t matter where you were sitting. She looked at you and sang to you and smiled so big. I love her.

It was when we got to Look What You Made Me Do that she decided we could have a little dance party to shake out our legs and take a break. Someone dimmed the lights and since we all knew this song, we were able to just sing (scream?) the lyrics together with our idol dancing along our side, which was a dream. She was towards the middle of the room, so I made my way over there to dance near her.

Before I knew it, she reached out to grab my hands and looked me dead in the eye. “Is that Kara?” she asked me, trying to get closer to see my face. It was like a million butterflies were released in my stomach at once. I was in shock. I was so happy. But I was speechless. I nodded and we danced to the bridge. It was literally at the “I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams” part, which was my tumblr bio. SO ON BRAND. SO PERFECT.

So we heard the rest of the songs and they continued to blow us away. Before long, we had finished the album. She was so honest with us about each song and I absolutely love her for that. She trusts us so much it is unreal. And y’all are not prepared for how good this album is. i CANNOT WAIT

OKAY OKAY NOW THE FUN MEETING HER PART

At first they called a few people by name to go first, but then they let everyone else just go whenever they wanted. A bunch of people seemed to want to wait until the end, but I knew my nerves would only get worse. I watched her meet some people from the corner, which was so incredible. It is honestly almost as exciting as meeting her yourself. You get to watch how she interacts with each person and takes her time. She also looks them dead in the eye and listens so intently. She never rushed anyone. It was beautiful.

OKAY SO FAST FOWARD TO MY TURN HERE WE GO

“Kara!!! Oh my god I’m so happy you’re here!” she said as she quickly walked toward me with her arms outstretched. I hugged her so tight trying to keep the tears back.

“Thank you SO much for coming!”

“Are you kidding, thank you so much for having me!”

We pulled away from the hug and I was looking right in her eyes, slightly looking up because she’s so tall. She said something along the lines of “I’m so glad we are finally meeting. You’re so lovely!” and I just sort of laughed and said “Oh my god Taylor, my mom isn’t going to believe you said that” (referring to her knowing my name and such).

“But you are Kara! You’re so lovely and sweet. Like you’re amazing, tell her I said that!”

oKAY SO YOU KNOW IM DYING ON THE INSIDE BUT TRYING TO STAY COMPOSED. MY LEGS WERE SORTA SHAKING BUT I WAS DOING BETTER THAN EXPECTED.

I tried to keep myself together and tell her how much I loved reputation and just said “Taylor, the album is amazing” and she smiled, but she looked a bit distracted as she was looking at me and sort of interrupted and just said “Kara you’re even more beautiful in person. Like you are so naturally beautiful! Like you aren’t even wearing makeup and you’re so pretty?!”

excuse me WHAT. In my head I’m laughing as I know I’m definitely wearing makeup but that a lot of it came off when I cried earlier and that I don’t wear all that much in general but like WHAT I WAS SO SHOOK LIKE SHE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL ??? THE FUCK

All that I could muster up was a “Oh my God” and “thank you so much” as I wrapped my arms around her neck again and she pulled me in for a hug (and yes she smells so good like a vanilla goddess).

So after she SHOWERED me with compliments that my poor heart couldn’t handle, I knew I had a few things I could talk about with her. I told her about studying abroad in London last semester and she asked what school. I explained my program through my home university and told her about how I interned in SoHo. I joked because I told her I knew she was there at the same time, supposedly undercover, and said that we probably ran into each other on Oxford Street. She said how amazing it was that I had that opportunity. We talked about other places I traveled and I mentioned going to the Canary Islands for spring break and said “how casual” and she laughed and nodded. I just said how much I loved London and that city life. She said something along the lines of “That is soooo amazing. You’re getting to see the world and have these opportunities! I’m so excited to see all you do, Kara. I’m so proud of you!” she said, giggling.

....this woman....is proud of ME....im proud of YOU you queen WHAT

I think I said “thank you so much for saying that” and hugged her again. I needed a second to think of the next thing to talk about so I asked her if we could take our picture. She said of course and pointed to the mantle behind us that had Grammys and Moonmen and a bunch of her awards on it. “Do we want to hold a Grammy or something?”, but I hesitated and said “well..” and she asked “or did you have a pose in mind?” and I just said “Can we just act we’re best friends having the night of our lives because that’s basically how I feel right now” and she smiled and said “of course!”

So we turned towards the camera, which was probably the only time I looked away from her during our entire time together, and we hugged super tight and I smiled bigger than I probably ever have before. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT BUT IM NERVOUS

She turned back to me and I still had a few more things to say and ask. Something I thought about during the session was just a silly question for her. “So I’m in college and like I just need to know what’s your favorite drinking game?” and she laughs and says “Oh God, my favorite drinking game?!” as she turned away to think about it. “Well I will play any of them and I love playing them…and I sorta think that’s the problem…” and she smirked at me. I NEED TO GET DRUNK WITH TAYLOR SWIFT ONE DAY OKAY LIKE WHAT

I was feeling like my time was running out so I hugged her again and she said “It’s so cool meeting you. Like I sort of feel like I’m just your older sister…just like stalking you on the internet” and my jaw kind of dropped. “I love seeing your life online and I’m sure we will talk there!” and I just said “That means so much to me. Thank you so so much” and we hugged again.

“I’ll see you on tour and of course online,” I said. She smiled and said goodbye and that it was nice to meet me. I turned to leave and looked behind my shoulder and just said, “love you!”

It was the most surreal experience ever. I think i blacked out like i can barely remember it anymore, but wow it was so amazing and the fact that she KNEW ME AND RECOGNIZED ME made it even more incredible ? i never expected that in a hundred million years.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF SHE STALKED ME AFTER AND LIKED SIX OF MY POSTS ABOUT THAT NIGHT INCLUDING DANCING WITH ME AND RECOGNIZING ME. LIEK WHAT THE FUCK SHES SO INCREDIBLE AND I FEEL SO SO LUCKY. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP YALL I NEVER EVER SAW THIS COMING

From the bottom of my heart, thank you Taylor and thank you Taylor Nation. I didn’t think things like this could just happen to people like me ? I’ve never felt that special or deserving of things like this, but you’ve proved that we all deserve this opportunity. I love you so so SO much. I’m still not sure how it happened, but oh my god am I glad it did. I will never forget this as long as I live.

See you on tour and online, big sister.

#nashville secret session #secret session story #taylor swift #reputation

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doingthewritething · 7 years

Text

Churro-Boy pt 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Spoilers for Spider-Man: Homecoming + some curse words here and there

A/N: This is going to take place during Spider-Man:Homecoming with a little twist here and there so Y/N can remain the love interest. (Credits to the writers of Spider-Man: Homecoming because I used a couple lines) This is probably going to be a mini-series because I am slowly building up their relationship. Also, thank you to all of you who requested a part 2! Kinda got carried away with this one

word count: 2.7k

Part 1

The day after my encounter with Churro-Boy was pretty interesting to say the least.

I walked down one of the many halls of Midtown and headed to my locker. Sounds like a simple task, but with all these slow people crowding the hall, it was a bit of a struggle; especially considering how restless I was.

Sometime during dinner last night, my mom and I heard a huge bang coming from down the street. I rushed to the window to try and get a good view, but I couldn’t see much. It wasn’t until later that night when I saw on the news that an ATM -along with Delmar’s Deli-grocery -were completely destroyed. They released the security footage where Spider-Man was fighting some robbers, and then a bright, purple blast filled the screen before the tape ended; I felt anxious because I had just met him hours prior to that incident. He could have died and I don’t want to imagine Churro-Boy getting hurt. I know he’s a superhero and all, but that was seriously dangerous.

He seems too sweet to get hurt.

Furrowing my brows, I mentally scolded myself for thinking of Spider-Man in that way. I don’t really know him, despite how familiar he seemed.

“Either you’re thinking really hard right now, or your eyebrows are permanently damaged,” my friend said to me.

I closed my locker and glanced at Michelle, who didn’t need to look up from her book to see my inner turmoil. “The lady at the salon seriously miscalculated when she threaded them; I shouldn’t have tipped her. Damn,” I sighed.

Michelle tried not to smile, but I saw her crack a small grin. “I don’t think you tip salon ladies,” she replied, finally closing her book. “So? What is it this time? Did something happen on one of your shows?”

“Hey, you have your books, and I have my Netflix, okay?” I defended myself. “But something did happen to me last night,” I said more serious.

All morning, I couldn’t wait to tell MJ. It was pretty exciting to say that I met the Spider-Man, and even talked to him! I ate half of his churro!

Okay -that sounds weird, I don’t think I’m gunna mention that part to her…I’ll let the churro part be our thing.

Michelle had a quick look of concern flash across her face before she asked, “What?”

“You know the Spider-Man right?” I asked and she nodded. “I met him.”

“You met him,” she said skeptically.

“Yeah. I know. This sounds crazy, but he was on my fire escape talking on the phone when I was trying to take a nap -don’t look at me like that -and I woke up and kinda threatened him with a bat, and then I realized who he was because, at first, I thought he was some weirdo in tights trying to rob me since his suit looks different from what I’ve seen on Youtube -ya know -so then we just talked and he left. Then the whole ATM thing happened. Down my street!” I said rapidly talking and moving my hands for emphasis.

“Are your lungs abnormally large? Or do you just not take a breath when you talk?” MJ asked, almost incredulously.

“That’s all you have to say? I just gave you the Spark Notes version of the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to me, and you decide to question my anatomy?” I exclaimed.

Michelle narrowed her eyes at me and said, “So you met him.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, disappointed that she wasn’t as excited as I was. Then again, this is MJ we’re talking about.

“Cool,” she smirked.

I smiled back and was about to say something, but then the bell rang. My smile dropped faster than my grades when I heard it and I groaned. “I don’t want to go to class.”

Michelle pat my shoulder in sympathy and said, “Who does?”

After four, painful hours of “learning,” it was finally time for the most hated class on my schedule where I truly learn nothing:

P.E.

Physical. Education.

Me and exercise simply do not correlate. We just don’t get along.The locker room is gross, and the gym smells like feet mixed with sweat.

Michelle and I left the locker room, with me constantly grumbling in my head, and Michelle reading her book.

“You know we have that fitness test today,” I said glancing at MJ, “why’d you bring your book?”

Michelle didn’t look up and kept reading as she walked, “I find that reading books is a better exercise for my brain than some sit-ups; that test is a waste of time that we have to do every year even though some of us are unfit for certain types of activities.”

“You should be President,” I said slightly astonished. I can never get used to how aware Michelle is of all things unjust. Especially since we’re just sophomores in high school.

“I know,” she replied, walking towards the top of the bleachers. I followed her, looking at my feet as I did so I wouldn’t trip. MJ has long legs, but I sure don’t. I quickly looked up and made eye contact with one of my classmates; he was already looking at me, so it was that awkward moment where we both just look at each other until one of us chooses to look away. Except this time, I decided to say something.

“Hey Pete,” I said, adding one of those tight-lipped smiles.

His face turned slightly pink and he cleared his throat before saying, “Hey Y/N.”

“Ned,” I greeted with a nod because he too saw this exchange.

He gave me a small wave before turning back to Peter to say something.

Yeah that wasn’t awkward or anything. Was calling him Pete weird? It kinda rolled off my tongue fine. I’ve never called Peter “Pete” before. Am I overthinking? Yeah -I’m overthinking.

Coach Wilson had a TV rolled out onto the gym and showed us “Captain America’s Fitness Challenge.” I may hate this class, but that video was so cringey that it was somewhat entertaining. Our first station was sit-ups, which didn’t sound that bad.

I’d rather do that than run the mile.

MJ and I took a place on the mats and she decided to go first. I held her feet down, but instead of sit-ups, she raised her book up and down as if it was weight-lifting.

“You’re doing it wrong,” I told her. “Captain America would be very disappointed in you.”

“How dare you speak to your future President like this,” MJ joked.

I scoffed and shook my head. I looked down at the blue mat and it reminded me of a certain someone. “Did I tell you that Spider-Man is a kid?”

I couldn’t help but think about Churro-Boy again.

“A kid?” she asked, lightly laughing. “How old are we talkin’?”

“I’m not sure, but maybe a little older than us. Or even our age. Definitely a teenager; his voice cracked sometimes.” I said, recalling our conversation yesterday.

“Cracked? So puberty?” MJ asked incredulously.

“Well no, not exactly puberty. His voice would just rise at some points. And he tried to use this fake, deep voice with a New-Yorker accent,” I giggled. “It was kinda cute actually.”

“Wait,” MJ said, doing a sit-up and staying up. “Are you crushing on Spider-Man?”

Shit.

I stumbled over my words, blushing, “Wh- what? No! No, I SO am not! Tha- that’d be weird; I dont even know him!” I nervously chuckled and tried to play this off.

“Peter knows Spider-Man!” Ned exclaimed.

The whole gym got quiet and looked at the duo.

Peter? Peter Parker knows Churro-Boy? I looked at him, waiting to see what he would do.

Peter gaped at Ned and got up. “Uh, no I don’t, no,” he stuttered a bit and walked towards MJ and I, “I -I mean..”

“They’re friends,” Ned explained.

Flash Thompson scoffed from the rope station and said sarcastically, “Yeah, like Coach Wilson and Captain America are friends.”

Peter ignored him and said to me, “I- I meet him, yeah. A couple times. But it’s, um, through..the..Stark Internship.”

Flash quirked his eyebrow and said, “Mmhm.”

“Yeah well, I’m not really supposed to talk about it,” Peter muttered, glaring at Ned.

“Well that’s awesome,” Flash said sauntering towards Peter, “Hey, you know what? Maybe you should invite him to Liz’s party tonight.”

Peter turned to look at Liz, as did the rest of the gym.

Liz shook her head to compose herself from the sudden attention and replied, “Yeah, um, I’m having people over tonight. You’re more than welcome to come.”

Peter looked taken back and glanced at me before turning back to Liz and asking softly, “You’re having a party?”

Did Peter not know? She invited the team… Oh right, he quit the other day.

“Yeah, it’s gunna be dope. You should totally invite your personal friend Spider-Man.” Flash mocked.

Peter got slightly flustered and mumbled, “Um.”

“It’s okay. I know Peter is way too busy for parties anyway,” Liz remarked.

Peter has been distant lately, I thought. He’s already quit mathletes club, robotics club, and the decathlon! I’m not obsessed with him or anything, I’m just observant.

“Peter, it’s just a party; don’t listen to them,” I rolled my eyes. “You don’t need to prove anything.”

Peter looked at me and I offered a small smile.

“Aw, c’mon,” Flash waved off my comment, “You’ll be there. Right, Parker?”

The bell rang as Peter let Flash walk passed him. Peter clenched his jaw and then walked towards Ned.

I couldn’t make out their conversation, but my gaze did linger on them after that exchange.

I hope he ignores Flash’s dumb teasing; what a dick.

“C’mon,” MJ said, pulling me towards the locker room.

Later that day, I got home to do some homework (shocking, I know) in my room. My mom walked in to check on me.

“No nap today?” my mom asked me with a teasing smile.

“I would, but sadly, I have plans to socialize with people my age tonight. Remember?” I asked looking up from my notebook. I was sat by my window at my desk, hoping to see a dude in blue and red tights eating a churro on my balcony. No sight of him yet, but I have seen about three pigeons. “I need to get this done before I party like it’s 1999. Whatever that means,” I said tapping my pencil against my math homework.

“Oh right! My baby is going to a party tonight! How exciting!” my mom said, genuinely sounding happy for me. Besides Michelle, I hardly hang out with anyone; but I’m okay with that. “There won’t be any illegal stuff right?”

“Not that I know of?” I said confused. “I’ve never been to a high school party before. I don’t even wanna go to be honest,” I mumbled the last part. The only people I knew were my team mates from the Decathlon; there’s going to be seniors there, and a big social gathering just isn’t my thing.

Thanks to my mother’s incredible hearing, that comment didn’t slip by. Her eyes softened and I looked down at my notebook. “Hey,” she said walking towards me to push back my hair, “you know you don’t have to prove anything to anyone right? If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. It’s just a party, honey.”

That advice sounds familiar, I thought sarcastically in my head. I wonder if Peter took my advice for tonight.

I smiled at my mom and said, “I know; it’s just the nerves talking, I guess. There’s gunna be upper-classmen and I’m just -me,” I shrugged and looked at my mom.

“And that’s all you need to be,” she said pinching my cheek. “And if you want to bail, just text me, and I’ll come get you. We can order pizza and watch a scary movie or something and pretend that party never happened.”

“Thanks mom,” I smiled, slightly embarrassed, yet, touched at her thoughtfulness.

I’ll be fine.

“Let’s go back,” I told my mom, parked outside Liz Allen’s house.

“Sweetheart, you haven’t even stepped outside of the car. Michelle is waiting for you inside!” she tried to reason with me.

I knew I was just nervous, so I took a deep breath and tried to hype myself up. “Yeah, you’re right. I can do this.”

“You have to actually open the door you know,” my mom teased.

“Getting to that part,” I muttered. I stepped out of the car, and put a brave face on. I offered my mom a small smile and she gave me a thumbs up in return before speeding off.

After a small debate with myself, I made my way towards the door. I raised my hand to knock but then put it down. Do people normally knock when going to a party? Or do I ring the doorbell? As I was over-thinking the situation, once again, someone shoved passed me and opened the door.

“Right,” I muttered to myself.

You just walk in I guess. Where’s MJ at when you need her?

Luckily, I spotted her in the kitchen. I have never been more relieved in my life than in this very moment.

“Hey,” I smiled at her.

She gave me a nod and asked, “Toast?”

She held out her toast to me and I took it, “Thanks?”

Well, it’s no churro, but this’ll do.

“You look like you need it more than me. I’ll just make another. Then we can go somewhere and silently judge everything.”

I bit into my toast and smiled in relief.

As Michelle spread peanut butter over her toast, she said, “I can’t believe you guys are here at this lame party.”

I turned to see who she was referring to and nearly choked on my toast.

Peter is here. And Ned, but wow, Peter?

“You’re here too,” Ned remarked.

“Am I?” Michelle questioned,

“Is she?” I added, “Nice hat by the way.”

“Thanks,” Ned said smiling at me.

“H-hey Y/N,” Peter smiled, then quickly added, “Michelle.”

“I’ll be over there,” MJ said, biting into her toast as she headed towards the couch.

The three of us watched her walk away, and I chuckled at her blunt-fullness.

“Oh my gosh,” Liz said smiling at us, “Hey guys! Cool hat Ned.”

“That’s what I was saying,” I smiled at her.

“Hi Liz,” Ned smiled.

“Hey Liz,” Peter said.

“I’m so happy you guys came,” she continued, “there’s pizza and drinks if you wanna help yourselves.”

“Pizza?” I perked up. “Hell yeah,” I muttered as I set down my toast on the table and went to find pizza. About two steps in, I turned back to Liz and said, “This is a great party by the way!”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Before she got the chance to say anything else she heard something break and excused herself. I looked back to the kitchen and headed towards the pizza boxes on the counter.

“Y/N!” I heard Peter exclaim my name.

I stopped to turn around and looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

“Uh, save me a slice, yeah?” he finally said.

“Can’t promise anything, Parker!” I grinned, teasing him.

He smiled back at me, and I continued my trek for food. As I was serving two slices on a plate, I heard Flash mock Peter and Ned on the mic. Seriously, what an asshole. First at the gym and now at the party? Maybe pizza will cheer Peter up. Pizza solves lots of problems.

I headed to where I last saw Peter and Ned and saw that only Ned was there. “Hey Ned, where did Peter go?”

“Oh, uh, he went to…the bathroom. But I’m gunna wait for him,” Ned said looking around.

“Oh,” I said disappointed. “Well, when he comes back, can you tell him I have his pizza?” I was looking forward to hanging out with Peter and Ned tonight.

“Yeah, sure thing,” he smiled softly.

“If you get bored of waiting for him, come sit with me and Michelle, yeah? There’s a strong chance I’ll eat his slice, and I could use some supervision,” I teased.

“Cool, I will,” Ned said.

I gave him one last smile before I joined MJ on the couch. This party was actually turning out fun. And it was…aside from one thing.

Peter didn’t show up for the rest of the night. Him or Churro-Boy. The worst part was that I couldn’t tell what disappointed me the most.

Part 3

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On an album of bittersweet childrens tracks that she wrote greater than ten years in the past, the lady who arrived for being acknowledged only as being the piano Trainer offered what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her possess foreseeable future.

Im shifting away right now to a place so far-off, where by nobody is aware my identify, she wrote while in the lyrics of a tune known as Relocating.

When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance songs writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, extended walks and every little thing about New York.

On a type of beloved walks, by means of Central Park in the bright sun of a June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and tried to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Once the assault, the terms to her track came legitimate. She moved away, away from New York City, away from her previous lifestyle, and all but her closest mates didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the planet, she was — much like the additional famous jogger attacked in Central Park 7 many years before — an nameless symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, over the 10th anniversary of your assault, she is celebrating what appears to be her entire recovery from brain trauma. She's 42, married, with a small child. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he wants to notify her story, her way.

Her health care provider informed her it will choose 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I experience my life is redefined by Central Park, she claimed many days in the past, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Just before park; immediately after park. Will there at any time be described as a time After i dont think, Oh, This can be the tenth anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch home in a very wooded subdivision within a Ny suburb. She sat in a eating home strewn with toys, surrounded by photos of her cherubic, darkish-haired two-year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand stuffed fifty percent the space, and at one particular point she sat down and played. Her enjoying was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to Participate in quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, as an alternative to answering, when questioned the title from the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.

She calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day Once i was harm.

Hers was the first in a very string of assaults by a similar man on four Women of all ages around 8 days. The final victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to Dying as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to everyday living in jail.

But the attack over the piano Instructor may be the just one persons look to recollect quite possibly the most. A part of the fascination should do with echoes of your 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened individuals in a means the attack to the jogger did not mainly because its situation had been so mundane.

It didn't happen inside of a distant Portion of the park late at nighttime, but near a favorite playground at three during the afternoon. It might have took place to any one. The tension was heightened with the mystery with the piano lecturers identification.

For 3 times, as police and Physicians attempted to discover who she was, she lay in a coma in her clinic bed, nameless. Her mothers and fathers were on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, one among her learners regarded a law enforcement sketch and was ready to identify her from the healthcare facility by her fingers, since her deal with was swollen further than recognition. The police didn't launch her name.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is supplying a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then putting her extended hair in a very ponytail and heading out for the stroll. She doesn't keep in mind the assault, although she has read the accounts with the police and prosecutors.

To me its like a reality I realized and memorized, she claimed. As though I were being a pupil at school researching historical past.

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She will not consider the man who did it. I might need been angry for any minute, although not much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I guess by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at New York Clinic-Cornell Professional medical Heart, as it was identified in 1996, explained to reporters that she had a ten % potential for survival. Medical professionals had to get rid of her forehead bone, which was later changed, to produce space for her swelling Mind. When her mother made a community attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Immediately after eight days, she arrived away from a coma, first within a vegetative state, then within a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept small and talked continually, at times in gibberish. I was receiving mad at people after they didnt respond to these terms, she mentioned.

Like an Alzheimers individual, she experienced minor brief-term memory and would fail to remember readers the moment they left the place.

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More than many months, she needed to relearn tips on how to wander, dress, read and compose. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every single day to Participate in guitar for her. He encouraged her to play the piano, from the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she could be disappointed by her incapacity to Participate in just how she once had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets along with her, enjoying the left-hand element though she played the right.

That was my finest therapy, she said.

In August, she moved back again property to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and called good friends, hoping to restore her shattered memory. I was incredibly obsessive about remembering, she reported. Any memory reduction was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists considered her development was fantastic, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she experienced dropped the ability to cry, just as if a faucet within her brain had been turned off. One particular evening, 9 months following she was harm, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time to Eliminate. Just immediately after her father had long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult males who experienced raped his young daughter.

The faucet opened, along with the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mom and dad, my father, and the things they went by means of, she mentioned. Minimal by very little, my experience returned, my depth of mind returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back to high school and acquired a masters diploma in new music education.

Not everything went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr break up up 5 years after the attack, though they remain good friends. She dated other Adult males, but she often informed them concerning the attack immediately — she could not support it, she explained — they usually under no circumstances called for a second date.

We've got to search out you anyone, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, said four many years ago, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and newbie drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say just about anything concerning the attack right up until she bought to learn Mr. McCann, after which you can when she did, he admired her energy.

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Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had usually frequented her at her bedside when she was during the healthcare facility, married them in his Situations Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Whilst she was pregnant, inside a burst of creativeness, she and her pals recorded Even though Have been Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she had created prior to the attack, including the song Transferring. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, developed the CD. On it, her spouse performs drums and he or she plays electrical piano.

Is her existence as it absolutely was? Not precisely, however she's reluctant to attribute the differences to her injuries. Her final two piano students remaining her, without contacting to explain why, she explained. She has resumed taking part in classical new music, but basic pieces, because her daughter won't give her the perfect time to apply. As for jazz, I dont even check out, she stated.

She wish to push much more, sensation stranded within the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She tries to be information with keeping dwelling and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological surgical treatment at exactly what is now termed Ny-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Health-related Centre, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann after the assault, reported previous week that her level of recovery was scarce. Shes essentially typical, he said.

Other industry experts, that are not Individually knowledgeable about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns case, are more careful.

Regaining a chance to Participate in the piano may perhaps require an Virtually mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers have to do, said Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation drugs at Big apple College College of Drugs. As soon as brain-hurt, you are often brain-injured, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay reported. There isn't a get rid of, There is certainly only intense payment.

The greater telling Element of a Restoration, in his look at, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and youngster as a major victory.

For her aspect, the piano Instructor knows she has adjusted, but she has produced her peace with it. I had been type of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a kind A, but I used to be formidable, she states. Why was I so ambitious? I had been a piano Trainer. I dont know what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the person Im designed to be.

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