#i am hoping alcohol + razors ≠ bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

christy2195 · 8 months

Text

Keep fighting

The sad yet inspirational story of a brave cancer patient

Hello reader my name is Jessica. I would like to start by saying some names and places have been changed, ( including my own, yes I am ghost writing my own autobiography) but the stories are 100% true.

This “book” will tell the story of my own life experiences. I hope that reading what I have been through and how I got through it will help others in their life journeys.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

sexual assault

Narcissistic abuse

Self harm

Suicide

Cancer

PTSD

Chapter 1. The Beginning

As I mentioned earlier my name is Jessica I was born on 12/28/1997 at what used to be the Columbus, GA medical center. At 1:27 in the afternoon. My mother sais I was her easiest birth. She said the doctor bairley got his gloves on in time to catch me. I grew up with 2 sisters one 15 months older than I. Her name is Melony, and one 3 years younger than I named Caity. So the “middle child syndrome” was real.

My mother Julie is very loving and kind hearted. She tried her best to raise our family on her own, always working more than one job. My Father James on the other hand worked deadbeat under the table construction jobs and spent all his money on weed, alcohol, and scratch off tickets.

This first part of the story will focus more on my father as his temper and narcissism were the foundation of my childhood. My earliest memory of my father, I was around age 3 and he had asked me to pick up a toy. I gave him “attitude” so he picked up this plastic building block and threw it at me yelling that I was an ungrateful child and should have never been born. Of course this upset me further and I started to cry. He then got agitated and said he “would give me something to cry about”. Then started spanking me. This is when my mother walked in and stopped him only for him to hit her instead. She then grabbed my sisters and I, put us in the car and we went to my grandparents house for the night.

Now don’t get me wrong I loved my father he wasn’t all bad, but when he was it was horrifying. He would threaten to kill us or himself anytime he didn’t get his way. He was a narcissist through and through. But sometimes very rarely he pretended to be a good father (for show), and those times are the only good memories I have of him. I was a daddy’s girl as a child, always craving his attention. I was the “tomboy”. The child he took on hunting, and fishing trips with his buddies. “The son he never had”. But I still got treated as a possession of his rather than a child that he loved.

I grew up walking on eggshells around my father not knowing what would be the next thing to set him off. My last straw with my father was when I was around 15 years old we got into an argument about me not wanting to feed the dog and he grabbed me by my neck, held me up against the back door (with my feet off the ground) and told me if the dog doesn’t eat neither do I. I vowed that day that I was done with him. When I turned 18 I took out a restraining order on him. In order to get him out of the house and protect my family.

We then learned that he had brain cancer and was not going to live long. He survived 2 years but eventually succumbed to his illness on 12/04/2019 he took his last breath. The last time I saw my father I tried to be the bigger person. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. He looked me in the eye and said “tell your mother I love her” (at this point they had been separated for a few years)

Chapter 2 Teenage years

In my teenage years I developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would bottle up my emotions and release them with a razor blade. Turning my emotional scars into physical scars. I struggled with my weight and appearance at this age. As every teenage girl does. I battled with anorexia my sophomore year in high school and went a straight 2 months without food. To the point I was 5’2 and 98 pounds. I was also in the marching band (trumpet). So you could imagine I was not a popular kid, but I was sort of a chameleon. I had friends or acquaintances in every “clique”. And got along with just about everyone.

My junior year was when I lost my virginity. On prom night. Now I didn’t even go to junior prom. The guy, we will call him “Dom” took another girl to prom and stopped by my house after. We then did the dirty in the back seat of his fathers white Cadillac sedan. Luckily it had tinted windows, because I came to find out later in life that my parents stood at the front door and watched the car rock back and forth after my shotty attempt at “sneaking out”. This is when I started using sex as a coping mechanism. I enjoyed hooking up with random guys because it made me feel wanted. It got me out of the house away from my father, and it made me happy even for a short while.

Then my senior year I met “Nate”. On the first day of senior year I had just gotten my first car and was driving it to school for the first time, and just as I was about to pull into the parking lot he rear ended me with his car. We got out and looked everything over and decided we would not tell our parents, and just pretend it didn’t happen. At first I thought I’d likely never see this guy again. Only to find out later that day… We had oceanography class together. It was awkward at first. Then it turned into flirting. We became science partners. Then a couple for about 6 months. He was my “highschool sweetheart”. His grandpa was my old bus driver. (Weird coincidence) We would have Sunday dinner at his grandpa's house every week. And his family oversaw the local church in my little unincorporated town of Ellerslie GA. This is when I got back into church, and started to heal.

Jeremiah 17:14: Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.

Going to church with his family every week and helping “coach” the Bethesda soccer team really helped me to let go of all of my emotions in a much healthier way. I grew very close with his family. We even went to senior prom together. But broke up shortly after because he had a mental breakdown due to stress.

Chapter 3. Adulting

This will be the longest and last chapter

That’s when I met “Sid”. I started going to a different church in the next town over, and met Sid volunteering for their VBS program. He was the puppet and I would put on a little skit with him every day that week. We became good friends and he invited me to a Fourth of July BBQ at his house. Where I would meet my future husband “Myles”. But before Myles and I get married it gets messy. Very messy!

Myles and I met at this BBQ and started flirting when I pointed out he had a “BBQ stain on his white T-shirt” like that one Tim McGraw song. After the BBQ we all went to HollyWood Connections. (The local arcade) to play some laser tag. This is when Myles and I found our chemistry. We connected instantly. He soon became my boyfriend. Which is sort of funny because Sid invited me to the BBQ because he had a crush on me, and his best friend Myles stole me away. Myles became my rock for a while, but he was not religious. So I ended up falling out of church while dating him. Myles and I dated for about a year until my mental health hit a rough patch. I broke it off with him because I felt he was too controlling.

A few weeks later I ran into “Damien” outside of my local Walmart. Damien and I knew each other from high school. We would cheat off of each other in economics class. (Honestly the only reason I passed that class). We started talking, and he asked me if I would help him break up with his girlfriend and go see a movie with him afterward. I agreed, we came up with this elaborate plan on how he would leave his current girlfriend, and went to the AMC theater later that night. In the movie we held hands and talked for a while catching up on the past year. He and I started dating. We were happy he was the perfect boyfriend, always love bombing. We dated for 2 years and lived together for one of them. While he was living with me in my childhood home, we shared a car.

One night I went to pick him up from work and while I waited for him in the parking lot I was approached by a homeless kid with a gun. My dumb ass had the doors unlocked waiting on Damien, this kid opens my car door and sits in the passenger seat. Points a revolver at me and tells me to drive. My mind goes blank in fear. I am speechless. He gets angry and shoved the gun into my rib cage. Yelling “Drive Bitch”. So I do. I ask him “where?” He tells me to take him to the Peachtree Mall, because he needs to “meet with friends” (From what used to be TGI FRIDAYS parking lot). We get to the mall and he puts the revolver to my head and pulls the hammer back. He tells me to get out of the car. Now I’m flustered with a gun to my head driving a rental car that I don’t own. I can’t just give him this car, I'd be stranded, and Damien is probably off and waiting for me by now. Almost perfect timing Damien calls me. I look at this kid and he looks at me. I tell him I need to answer this call because I was supposed to be picking Damien up and he’s probably wondering where I am. He let me answer the phone but told me to tell Damien everything was fine. So that is what I did. After the phone call he opens the chamber on the revolver showing me that it is full of bullets. He then places the revolver back to my head and tells me to take off my clothes. Paralyzed with fear I do what he asks. He then proceeded to rape me. After that Damien called once again. I picked up still in shock from what had just occurred. He still wants me to come pick him up. But this kid is still in my passenger seat. I convince this kid that I need to go pick up my boyfriend, and he agrees. I then realized I needed gas. So I tell him we are stopping at the Chevron by the mall to get gas. I gave him all the money I had in my wallet and asked him to go pay while I pumped. He agreed, and as soon as he got out of my car I took off. I went back to the TGI FRIDAYS parking lot. In tears I explained to Damien what had just happened to me. He was confused and shocked. His manager then called the police so I could file a report. They took me to the hospital for a rape kit, and questioned me on what happened. I answered all of their questions honestly but they kept telling me it’s against the law to lie to a police officer. In which I questioned why I would make something like that up?

All said and done the kid ended up being only 16 years old. The gun apparently wasn't even real, “just a well made replica”. And he had been on a crime spree that whole weekend. Robbed a restaurant, Robbed an old lady, Robbed the Chevron I left him at, tried to shoot up a strip club, (that’s where they caught him). He got 18 years of prison and life on parole. Because I took pity and agreed to a plea deal.

Damien and I only grew closer after this. He was there for me when I needed him. He made sure I felt safe, because I would not leave the house alone after going through that. Due to court appointed therapy I was diagnosed with PTSD. (Post traumatic stress disorder) And he made sure I was going to my therapist, and taking my meds. He really took care of me. We ended up getting married 2 years into dating each other. I was 19 years old. It was 2/14/2018 we “tied the knot” at the courthouse. And he joined the Air Force.

I moved all the way to Fairfield CA with him. Once we got out there on the other side of the country, away from my support system, and on a military base. Everything changed. He became a completely different person. He would treat me like I didn’t even exist, unless he wanted something. I was miserable. I hated where my life had gone. I was fighting all my Demons alone, and I cracked. I went back to my old coping mechanism of turning emotional pain into physical pain. Then one night I had this horrible abdominal pain, and went to the hospital. Where I found out I had an ovarian cyst rupture and cause internal bleeding, I later received the devastating news that I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and may never have kids. At that point I felt like I had nothing left to live for, and I took an entire month's worth of my PTSD medication, and tried to end my life. Damien got me to the hospital, where they pumped my stomach and admitted me to the psychiatric ward for 2 days. While in the mental hospital I found a book that shed some light on my situation, and helped me get through the next few months.

Then in August of 2019, my time in CA, came to an end when I received the news my little sister had been killed by a drunk driver. I went back to GA for her funeral and just decided I was not going back to CA. At my sister's funeral was the last time I saw my father, and hugged him. As he passed away just a few months later, from brain cancer.

I called Damien to let him know I was not going to come back. Because I wanted to be there for my mother. She needed me more than he did. She just lost a child. I had just lost a sister, and my father. I needed my support system. So I stayed.

Then January of 2020. My mom and I decided to go to TN for a get away. On this vacation she witnessed me have a seizure. She insisted we go to the hospital. They did a CT scan and told us that I had a brain tumor. I was terrified my father just died from a brain tumor not even a month ago.

I was then told I would need brain surgery to remove it. I told the nurse “I have never had any sort of surgery before”. In which she responded “Why not start at the top right” as a way of trying to comfort me. This brought upon a humor I did not see before. I laughed and agreed with her jokingly. On 01/20/2020 I had my first surgery. Brain surgery. They were able to “safely” remove 90% of the tumor. My surgeon told me that what she was able to remove was the size of her hand, and that it had little “tentacles” she did but feel confident in removing. From there I stayed in the EMORY UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL ICU for 2 weeks in recovery. After that I did 6 weeks of proton radiation therapy. At the EMORY PROTON CENTER. Then met my neuro oncologist at the EMORY WINSHIP CLINIC who suggested I have eggs removed and frozen before starting chemotherapy, because chemo attacks every multiplying cell in the body. I took his advice and had a second surgery to have 27 eggs removed and frozen. Maybe I can have kids through IVF.

( in vitro fertilization)

Then a few months later I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth and a molar surgically removed. A year of surgeries. Fun right!

Then in June of 2020 I started one year of chemotherapy (Temodar), everything was going well. My follow up appointments were all coming back clear with no growth for about 2 years.

(This is where Myles re-enters the story. He reached out because he saw on Facebook what I was going through, and wanted to be there for me. He came to visit me in the hospital, and stayed by my side through all of the treatments. He was my rock while I was going through the grief of losing my sister, and father, getting diagnosed, and getting divorced. We started dating again while I was doing chemo. It was just like the first time we dated but he had matured more, and was not as controlling. He opened his arms and gave me nothing but love and support. He, and God are what got me through the hardest year of my life.)

Until April of 2023 there was growth on my MRI in the area of surgery and radiation from 0.8 centimeters to 1.4 centimeters, and it could be pseudo progression or it could be cancer growth. My oncologist at JOHN B AMOS then wanted me to talk to my original treatment team at EMORY to find out more. August of 2023 I made an appointment with my surgeon, and she told me from what she saw on the scan it was most likely cancer growth and I would have to have another brain surgery to retrieve a sample, and find out if the cancer stayed the same or mutated into something more aggressive. My surgeon wanted to do surgery right away, but I told her Myles and I were planning on getting Married in September. She agreed to wait until after the wedding to do the surgery. So Myles and I got married on 09/11/2023, at the courthouse, then on 09/16/2023 we had a ceremony and reception with friends and family, and 4 days later on 09/20/2023, I had brain surgery #2. The surgery went well and I am recovering at home this time, and so far Myles has been a great husband. I love him with all my heart and he gives me hope for a better future. I know God will get me through it again. I’ve already told him “he has 2 choices he can either kill me or cure me this time cause I’m not doing this shit again”. And I survived the surgery, so I think there is hope for a cure!

Matthew 4:23-24

"And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, those having seizures, and paralytics, and he healed them."

#inspiration #you can do this #keep fighting #health & fitness #cancer #it gets better

1 note · View note

if-you-fan-a-fire · 2 years

Photo

“‘WILFULLY DESIGNED FORGERY' BRINGS MAN TWO-YEAR TERM,” Toronto Star. April 30, 1942. Page 2. --- "Victims Can Ill-Aford to Stand Losses, George Smith Is Told ---- "YOUR RECORD BAD" ---- "A" Police Court as the City Hall Magistrate Gullen Magistrate Gullen today sentenced George Smith, 24, to two years penitentiary, en six charges of forgery and six of uttering. [TOP PHOTO]

"Your crime was designed - you gathered consider able equipment to enable you to forge these cheques," the bench told the prisoner. "Your victims can ill afford to stand the losses, and for a man of your age, you have a bad record.” Detective Sgt. Fred Skinner said Smith obtained rubber stamps of various firms and the name of the manager, and then filled out six cheques totaling $427.41, cashing them in banks.

The officer said he found in. Smith's room a number of rubber stamps and also several cheques filled out ready to cash.

"He told me that he used the money to support himself," said the witness.

"It was a deliberate campaign to defraud," declared Crown Attorney Hope. Michael Marks was sentenced to six months for breaking into a garage on Dundas east, at 5 am, April 14.

Edward Mitchell was sentenced to 40 days in jail for stealing two bells from a Wellesley St. home.

"He walked into the house, took the bells: when he was arrested he was trying to sell them," related Det-Sgt. Ewing.

“I would not have done it, had I not been drinking." said Mitchell/

"You were here a few weeks ago on a charge of stealing a bicycle and I gave you a chance," Magistrale. Gullen recalled,

‘RECEIVING' CHARGED ---- Police Court B at City Hall, Magistrate Brown. Albert Cawan was committed for trial on charges of receiving an electric razor, three shirts, four ties and a number of gasoline rationing coupons. Margaret Baldwin, similarly charged, was discharged.

Mickey Tudor, complainant, told the crown he and Cowan were carrying on a bootlegging establishment. He said that while he was under arrest, charged with breach of the Liquor Control Act, his apartment was ransacked. He said the stolen articles were found in a room occupied by Cowan and Mrs. Baidwin.

Tudor admitted to Louis Herman, defence counsel, that he left Cowan the keys of his car .

"And it would be of no use without gasoline?” counsel asked.

Witness agreed but stated no car could use the gasoline the coupon taken would buy.

GETS THREE YEARS ---- Police Court at City Hall, Magistrale McNish Mike Maciokas charged with a serious offence was sentenced to three years on evidence previously heard. [BOTTOM PHOTO]

Duigmond Fillipps, Kathleen Swanson and Amoorce Sequin, charged with keeping disorderly house, were convicted today after pleading not guilty. Fillips was sentenced to 6 months in jail and the two women were fined $25 or 30 days each.

SOLD LIQUOR, JAILED --- Police Court "D" at City Hall Magistrate Prentice Michael Gagliardi pleaded guilty of selling liquor and was sentenced to two months. The liquor was confiscated and the premises were declared a public place.

"Early on Sunday, April 12," testified PC. William Baker. “I went to this man's home.” He added that he found P.C. Johnston, who was acting as an operative, siting with accused drinking from a bottle of ale.

“P.C. Johnston told me he had bought it from accused."

Dymietro Bolychuk, convicted at manufacturing spirits, was given the minimum, $100 or 3 months.

"On March 28 at 3 pm,” stated Corporal W. Heyward RCMP. “I searched the premises of accused on Robinson St. and found in three bottles 50 ounces of spirits. The bottles were hot, and the accused told me he had made the wine that day. I asked him to produce the distilling apparatus, which he did, showing me his method of distillation, which was crudely done in an ordinary kettle. From analysis, we found the alcoholic content was 4.24%, I had warned him previously not to engage in the distilling business"

"The wine was for myself." stated the accused. “I made only two little bottles of it. I thought I was entitled to do that."

[AL: Smith was 24, a dairy farmer apparently, but unemployed at the time, from Grand Valley, Ontario. He had three previous terms in the reformatory. At Kingston Penitentiary, he was convict #6921 and worked on the prison farm. He was transferred after 100 days to the low security Collin’s Bay Penitentiary (in August 1942) and was released from there in October 1943.

Maciokas was 30, unemployed, with a record of three previous jail terms for various ‘improper’ sexual activities. He was sentenced for sodomy in this case, being caught having sex with another man. He was convict #6922 at Kingston and worked in the laundry. He was released by parole in September 1943.]

0 notes

x-reader-theater · 3 years

Note

hi, I was wondering if you'd be willing to write a Spencer x male reader, where the reader is dealing with depression and kinda just their journey w Spencer :) all good if that's not something you'd be comfortable with

I’m writing this through the lens of my own journey with depression, so I hope this is okay. Also, this is very long because it got away from me, so I'm sorry. Edited by @mystic-writes

Warnings: Depression, self harm, bad and good days

Gif by @zhuzhubii

You open your eyes as light shines through the open window, and you burrow underneath the covers, trying to block out the offending sun. You curl around yourself and try to contain the warmth that you’re emitting underneath the covers. You feel something shift beside you, but you ignore it, trying to go back to sleep. You feel a weight on your shoulder, shaking you, and you groan, but don’t move. You hear a voice muffled by the comforter. It’s your boyfriend, Spencer, trying to talk to you. You move the comforter away from your ear but still over your eyes so you can listen.

“Do you want to get up and get some breakfast?”

You shake your head.

“Okay. I’ll bring you some food. We can eat together in bed before I leave for work.”

You nod.

When Spencer comes back with your breakfast on a tray, he closes the blinds and you sit in the near darkness, eating as much as you can stomach.

“100 days,” you mutter out at dinner one night.

“Hm?” Spencer asks, looking up at you from his Thai food.

“I’ve been on antidepressants for 100 days,” you say.

Spencer grins. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Put it down. I’m going to clean you up, alright?” Spencer asks, holding your arms just above your wrists that are actively bleeding. You drop the razor, doing exactly as he said, and it falls onto the bathroom carpet noiselessly. It’s already bloody from what dripped from your wrists. “Okay. I’m going to help you stand, and sit you down on the counter. You don’t have to do anything else, okay?”

You nod, and let yourself be pulled up off the ground, and dragged to the counter with the built in sink, and let Spencer help push you up onto the counter. You lean back, half against the wall and half against the mirror.

Spencer leaves the bathroom for a moment and you feel yourself drifting off, tired from your body trying to heal itself, but when Spencer taps your leg your eyes snap open.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now,” he says, and you nod snowly.

He grabs your wrist and holds up one of the black hand towels, wetting it underneath the sink that he turns on and off, before wiping away the blood that has started to coagulate on your skin, on the other side of your arm not near the cut, and your hands and fingers. He runs it underneath the water again and you watch as your blood rushes down the drain, intermixed with water and soap. You don’t stop watching the blood even as Spencer starts cleaning your other cut. You wince as the cloth is washed again, and even more blood is washed away.

You feel yourself go numb as the cut is cleaned and bandaged, and you’re pulled from the counter and out of the bathroom, to the bedroom, and Spencer tucks you into bed, kissing your forehead as you fall asleep.

“You! You’re like my brother, you know that?” Derek exclaims, leaning on you, his arm around your shoulder, his breath reeking of alcohol.

“I am?” you all but whisper out.

“Yeah! You’re dating Pretty Boy, and he’s been a brother to me for years and years,” he says, and you feel a grin spreading across your face. “So, you’re my brother too. I love ya, man.”

“I care about you too,” you mutter, shocked and happy. Happier than you’ve been in a long time. You spend the night grinning.

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of Spencer’s phone ringing. He answers, noting it’s Derek, and saying he’s okay, just a little tired. You tell Spencer to say hi to Derek, and he does.

Your smile fades as Derek says hi back in a tone that seems he doesn’t even remember you. You feel tears welling in your eyes and you hide your face as Spencer ends his call with Derek.

“Love?” Spencer asks, placing his hand on your back.

You let out a sob as you try to hide it, but you can’t. “He hates me. He said I was his brother, but he didn't mean it. He’s never meant it. I don’t matter unless I’m with you! Everyone hates me!”

You sob into your hands, and Spencer pulls you into his chest, just holding you while you cry.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid #criminal minds reader insert #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #my writing #my work

188 notes · View notes

waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Adventures in Cat Sitting

Synopsis: Tom is not a cat person, but watches your cat anyway

Masterlist

“Hi baby.” You appeared in the doorway of the living room with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and a nervous smile on your face. You had a big favor to ask of Tom and you already knew he wasn’t going to like it.

“Hi princess.” Tom sat up on the couch and noticed your face. “You look like you need something.”

“I might.” You shrugged as you sat down on his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around you to keep you from falling off, clasping his hands together under your spine.

“Let me see if I can help you.” He chuckled as he tugged you closer by the blanket.

“So you know how I have to go away this week for my cousins wedding?” You began, slow as not to startle him.

“Yeah. I miss you already.” He pouted, making you laugh and kiss his lips.

“I miss you too, lover.” You ran your fingers though his hair. “So I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”

“Anything, Princess.” He smiled lazily at you. “What do you need?”

You tugged at his shirt for a moment and avoided eye contact, shrugging a little as if you hadn’t been planning this for days.

“Ineedyoutowatchmycat.” You said quickly.

“What?” Tom furrowed his eyebrows when he didn’t understand you.

“I need you to watch my cat?” You grimaced, finally looking at him. You knew how Tom felt about your cat from the many, many times he told you.

He wasn’t a cat person. Not at all. And your cat in particular seemed to be his sworn enemy. They never got along and you often had to hide him in another room when Tom was over.

“You mean he’s not going to be guarding the pits of hell?” Tom tilted his head in confusion, making you roll your eyes.

“He is not that bad.” You insisted. “You can survive a few days with him.”

“Uh Uh.” Tom shook his head firmly. “You know how I feel about cats. That’s my least favorite kind of pussy.”

Your jaw dropped as he laughed at his own joke, stopping when you smacked his arm.

“Don’t get fresh.” You scolded. “I just need you to watch my cat for a few days.”

“You don’t have a cat.” Tom disagreed. “You have whatever Pandora let out of her box.”

“Oatmeal is really sweet once he warms up to you.” You told him. “You haven’t spent enough time with him to do that.”

“Because every time I get close to him, he hisses at me.” Tom exclaimed.

“Not every time.” You said pointedly. “Just most times.”

“Can’t you put him in the kennel?” Tom whined, knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this.

“He’s not social and I haven’t found one I like.” You pouted, putting on puppy dog eyes to sway him.

“So drop it off in the forest for a few days and let it get some life experience.” Tom shrugged, earning himself another playful smack.

“Tom.” You groaned. “He’ll die out there.”

“We can only hope.” Tom mumbled under his breath.

“I think this will be good for you guys.” You ignored his comment. “You’re the two most important men in my life and I need you to get along.”

“How am I possibly on the same level as that heathen?” Tom held a hand over his chest like he was offended.

“I love you both so much and it kills me that you don’t get along.” You whined, stroking his cheek to pull him back.

“We’d get along just fine if he wasn’t such a bastard.” Tom snapped, making you gasp.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call my cat a bastard?” You asked. This was a conversation you had had many times as it was Toms preferred nickname for you cat. Tom shrunk down on the couch and looked at the ceiling as he blew out an annoyed huff.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“This could be good for us too.” You assured him. “Watching a pet is an integral part in any relationship. I’m giving you all my trust.”

“You’re not giving me your trust.” Tom laughed sharply. “You’re giving me your fat ass demon cat.”

“Come on, please baby?” You jutted yourself bottom lip out. “Oatmeal might grow on you.”

“Aw. Like genital warts?” Tom smiled sarcastically.

“No.” You said flatly. “Not like genital warts.”

“Why do I have to watch him?” Tom complained like a child. “Why can’t you just leave him in a box with some food and water?”

“Would you like that if I did that to you?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“If there was alcohol in the box, then yeah.” He shrugged. “I might just enjoy myself.”

You realized you weren’t getting anywhere and pulled away from him with a new approach ready.

“Fine.” You sighed and dramatically looked away. “If you don’t want to watch my cat, I’ll just have to find a boyfriend who will.”

You started to get up but Tom immediately pulled you back, making you giggle as he held on firmly. He had finally caved and you knew it.

“Woah woah wait.” He nuzzled into your neck and left kisses there before sighing. “I’ll watch your bastard child.”

“You’ll what?” You texted him.

“I’ll watch your precious fur baby.” He said through a fake smile. You twisted your body and wrapped your arms around him, kissing every inch of his face you could reach.

“Thank you.” You gushed. “You’re a life saver.”

“You’re welcome, darling.” He chuckled as he lovingly rubbed your back. “You better remember this if I ever need a kidney.”

“I don’t think the two things carry equal weight.” You tilted your head playfully and laughed.

“They don’t.” He agreed. “You’re welcome for letting you off easy.”

Rolling your eyes at your boyfriend, you decided not to fight back since he was doing you a favor. Instead, you opted for kissing him long and deep to show your appreciation.

“Thanks for doing this.” You mumbled against his lips. “I know you don’t like cats so I appreciate it. I owe you one.”

“Mind if I collect my toll now?” Tom smirked as he flipped you onto your back, making you laugh loudly.

“Not at all.”

Sunday

“This is his food.” You handed Tom a pink bag with whiskers stitched on. “He gets two cups a day, dry at morning and wet at night. He won’t eat unless you scratch him behind the ears after you put it in his bowl.”

“I’m not putting my hands anywhere near that thing.” Tom shook his head as he took the bag. “It has a bloodlust.”

Oatmeal was nestled in your arms, staring at Tom with a vengeance. Tom stared back with wide eyes, already feeling his pulse quicken.

“No he does not.” You cooed as you scratched Oatmeal behind the ears. “Make sure to keep an eye on his water bowl and never give him milk. It’s bad for his teeth.”

“Right. Wouldn’t want him losing his razor sharp little death traps.” Tom said sarcastically, seemingly speaking directly to the cat. “If he bites me, I’ll bite him right back.”

“Tom.” You sighed deeply. “I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not bite my cat.”

Oatmeal suddenly bared his teeth and hissed at Tom, making Tom gasp.

“Did you hear what he just said to me?” Tom exclaimed as he pointed to the cat.

“He’s just getting used to you, is all.” You shrugged as you set Oatmeal down on the ground. He took a careful step towards Tom before hissing again.

“He did it again!” Tom jumped into your arms in the style of Shaggy and Scooby. “He called me a slur.”

“No he didn’t.” You laughed as you set Tom down. “His treats are in the bag. Only one a day and none if he’s naughty.”

“I didn’t realize he had a setting other than naughty.” Tom sassed your cat, making him hiss once again. Tom looked at you for help and you sighed.

“Hey, behave.” You scolded Oatmeal as you stroked him. “His toys are in the bag too. He gets pretty feisty with the fish on a string so don’t go near him when he’s playing with it.”

Oatmeal jumped up on a chair and leaned towards Tom, peering at him as if extended an olive branch. Tom looked at you and you nodded, encouraging him to reach out towards the animal. Oatmeal leaned forward and sniffed Tom’s hand before snapping at him. Tom jerked his hand back and cradled it, though he wasn’t actually bitten.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Tom said suddenly. “He’s gonna put a hex on me.”

“Tom, please?” You whined when he went back on his offer. “I have to leave now and there’s no one else who can take him.”

“Give him to one of your friends.” Tom whimpered as he hid behind you. “What about Stacy? Don’t you hate her?”

“All my friends are either allergic or coming on the trip with me.” You pleaded with him.

“There has to be someone else who can watch this hell beast.” Tom spat as he shot daggers at Oatmeal. You chewed your bottom lip as you thought of way to keep him on board until something came to you.

“Well, my ex watched him a couple times.” You shrugged casually as you picked Oatmeal back up. “Maybe I can call him and-“

“I’ll watch the damn cat.” Tom cut you off, always the jealous type. “Come here baby.”

He cooed and walked towards Oatmeal, who swiped at him with his claws.

“Ah! Bitch!” He screamed and jumped away from

“Are you sure?” You innocently batted your eyelashes. “I’m sure he’d be more than happy to-“

“La la la la la.” Tom held his hands over his ears and sang loudly. “Enough about him. I’ll watch Oatmeal. It’s just two days right?”

“Four days.” You kept a smile on your face so you wouldn’t worry him.

“Four days?” He gasped. “How many people is she getting married to?”

“Just one. Who knows? If this goes well, maybe she’ll be flying out to my wedding soon.” You flirted as you held his chin between your fingers. This pulled a smile out of Tom, making him walk to you and wrap his arms around you. You fitted your face into the crook of his neck and left a kiss there, taking in your last few moments with him before you left.

“I’ll miss you, princess.” He mumbled as he rubbed soft circles onto your back.

“I’ll miss you too.” You sighed, resting your chin on his shoulder. You pulled away after a long time and kissed him, letting it linger until you couldn’t breath. You patted his cheek softly before bending down and petting Oatmeal.

“Amd I’ll miss you Mr. Fluffy Pants.” You cooed as you picked him up. “Who has the fluffiest pants?”

“I believe that’s his feline obesity.” Tom said sweetly as he narrowed his eyes at your cat.

“Funny.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“Don’t be late.” He pouted, feeling his heart sink as you collected your things. You noticed his forlorn demeanor and hugged him again, taking in the scent of his cologne.

“How could I stay away from my baby?” You mumbled into his ear. You pulled away and jutted your bottom lip out before smiling wickedly.

“And I’ll miss you too.” You added as you pulled away. Tom rolled his eyes at you while you opened his door.

“Hilarious.” He replied sarcastically. “I’m laughing my-“

The door shut.

“-ass off.” He said weakly as silence settled into his home. He let out a sigh as he stared at the door, the smell of your perfume still lingering on his skin. He hated being apart from you, even if it was just for a few days. Tom’s reminiscing was cut short by a hatch meow from the floor. Tom jumped, having forgotten all about the cat he had promised to watch. Oatmeal stalked over to Tom and sat down in front of him as if to mock him.

“Listen you little whore.” Tom pointed an angry finger at the car. “I’m in charge. There will be no shenanigans this week, you hear me? Not one single shenanigan. That means no scratching the furniture, no shedding, and absolutely no napping in sunbeams. And I swear to God, if you piss on my rug, I’ll kill you. I will kill you with my bare hands. You hear me?”

The silence in the room was replaced with tension as Oatmeal silently stared at Tom with narrowed eyes. Finally, he let out a soft meow.

“Shut up.” Tom jumped again. “I’ll kill you.”

Oatmeal took another step towards Tom, making Tom take a step back. Oatmeal seemed to like this and sat down again.

“Why are you staring at me?” Tom snapped. “Do you want to fight?”

Oatmeal lifted his paw and put it back down, almost like he was stamping his foot. He let out a whine and took another step towards Tom, meowing towards the bag you had given him.

“Oh. It’s 6.” Tom realized. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

Oatmeal meowed again, louder this time.

“Don’t use that tone with me.” Toms voice cracked. “My beloved just left and I’m very sensitive right now.”

Oatmeal tilted his head to stare at him, silently judging Tom as he wiped away a tear. Tom composed himself quickly and went over to the bag you’d left, taking out Oatmeal’s pink bowls and bag of food. Oatmeal jumped up on the counter to watch Tom as he prepared the food, both of them sneaking glances at each other every once in a while. Tom stuck his tongue out at the cat before setting his food on the ground.

“Here you go, fatass.” Tom snapped, taking a step back when Oatmeal walked over to the bowl. Oatmeal sniffed the food skeptically before looking up at Tom as if he was waiting for something.

“I’m not scratching you behind the ears.” Tom scoffed with hands on his hips. “You’re not royalty.”

Oatmeal let out a howl and pawed at the bowl, demanding his ear scratches.

“Starve, then.” Tom shrugged. “See if I care.”

Oatmeal hissed at Tom, who responded with the middle finger. He kept his middle finger up and directed at Oatmeal as he walked out of the room, going into his bed room to calm down. After five minutes of thinking, he went back to the kitchen.

“After care consideration I’ve realized Y/n will break up with me if I kill her cat, which is fair.” Tom announced as he walked to Oatmeal. “That is why I’m doing this. Not because I care about you or your well-being.”

Oatmeal meowed softly and pawed at the bowl again, making Tom roll his eyes as he crouched down.

“Here are your little bitch scratches behind your little bitch ears.” Tom grumbled as he scratched the cat. Oatmeal purred in satisfaction before eating the entirety of his bowl. Tom backed away and watched him, smiling a little at how docile he seemed. He quickly wiped the smile off his face as Oatmeal finished and looked up at him.

“I need to call my brother about a script we’re writing, not that it’s any of your business.” Tom said as he looked at the floor. “Don’t bother me while I’m on the phone.”

Oatmeal didn’t pay any attention to Tom, instead busying himself with cleaning his left paw. Tom narrowed his eyes at the cat and huffed out an angry breath.

“Whatever. I know you care You just won’t admit it because you’re jealous.” Tom laughed bitterly as he stared daggers at Oatmeal. Oatmeal continued to ignore Tom as he began licking his other paw.

“You’re jealous that I have abs and you have a flabby cat tummy that drags on the floor.” Tom continued, determined to get the cats attention. “And we both know which one Y/n prefers.”

Oatmeal flicked his eyes to Tom before lifting a leg and licking his nether regions. Tom gasped and touched a hand to his chest in offense.

“You’re disgusting.” Tom spat. “I’m leaving.”

Tom turned on his heel and heard a meow from behind him as he walked away, resembling a taunting laugh.

“Don’t follow me!” Tom called once he got to his office. He sat down at his desk and rubbed his tired eyes before dialing his brother.

Forty minutes later, Tom and Harry were knee deep in their script. They had gotten to standstill, unable to come to an agreement with where to take the story.

“Right, right.” Tom nodded as he rested his chin in his hands. “I was thinking for - - oh for Gods sake.”

Tom’s attention was claimed by Oatmeal slipping in through the crack in the door, letting out a meow to announce his presence. Harry saw Tom’s jaw clench as he stared at the cat offscreen, leaning closer to the camera to get a better look.

“Was that a cat?” Harry asked as he watched his brother swat at something to his left.

“Hey!” Tom bellowed as Oatmeal jumped up on the desk. “No feet on the table!”

“Mate, who are you yelling at?” Harry tapped the screen repeatedly to get his brothers attention.

“Oatmeal.” Tom grumbled, jerking his neck at the cat as if to challenge him to a fight.

“Y/n’s cat?” Harry chuckled, knowing all about his brothers hatred of cats. “Why is he at your place?”

“Shes at her cousins wedding this week.” Tom pouted. “I told her I’d watch the furry bastard.”

“How’s that going?” Harry smiled teasingly, already having an idea of how it was going. Before Tom could answer, Oatmeal walked in front of his phone and knocked it down with his tail. He let out a proud purr as Tom picked his phone back up.

“Shut up!” He shrieked. “I’m on the phone!”

“Tom! Stop yelling at the cat.” Harry snapped his fingers at Tom. “I asked you how it was going.”

Tom tore his eyes away from Oatmeal, who had made himself comfortable in one of Tom’s desk drawers.

“Not great, man.” Tom shook his head. “Not great.”

Monday

“I’m home.” Tom announced as he walked into his front door. “Did you kill any children and eat their souls while I was gone?”

Oatmeal didn’t come to the door right away like a dog would, making Tom worry briefly. He set his grocery bags down and knelt to the ground, patting his thighs the way he would do to call Tessa. It’s not that Tom was dying to see him, he just didn’t want to be the guy who lost his girlfriends cat. Much to his relief, Oatmeal appeared from around the corner, the bell around his neck jingling.

“There you are.” Tom sighed as he stood up. “You look like shit.”

Oatmeal hissed and pranced over to the couch, stretching out his limbs in a sunbeam before laying down. As his body his the couch, tufts of hair flew into the air. Tom’s eyes widened in surprise before running over to the couch to investigate. Even though it had been less than a day, Oatmeal had managed to get his fur all over the couch.

“Excuse me? What is this?” Tom demanded as he picked up some fur between his fingers. Oatmeal rolled onto his side and stared at Tom with unblinking eyes.

“What did I say about shedding? You think this is some brothel that you can defile with your fur? It’s not.” Tom snapped, stomping over to the hall closet to get the vacuum. He plugged it into the wall, shooting angry glared at Oatmeal every few seconds.

“Unbelievable.” Tom pretended to gag as he vacuumed up the hair. “You disgust me.”

Oatmeal flicked his tail back and forth, causing the fur Tom had missed to float into the air. Tom shook his fist at the cat before getting his food out and putting it in the bowl.

“I’m taking a shower.” He grumbled as he rinsed his hands. “Eat your damn food.”

Tuesday

“Oatmeal? Come in here.”

Tom stood with his hands on his hips, impatiently tapping his foot as he waited for the damned cat to come. When he didn’t show, Tom balled his fists in frustration and let out a silent scream.

“Oh my God. SPSPSPSPS.” Tom yelled, spit flying from his mouth as he called the cat once again. Oatmeal waltzed into the room, taking his sweet time to get to where Tom was.

“Do you want to explain to me what this is?” Tom asked angrily as he pointed to the surprise Oatmeal had left on the floor while he was working out. Oatmeal sat down and tilted his head at Tom, daring him to raise his voice.

“You’ve done it.” Tom nodded as he tightened his lips into a line. “You’ve shit on my floor.”

Oatmeal purred before turning his attention to his paw, loudly cleaning it to show Tom he had no shame.

“The disrespect you’ve shown for my hard wood is astounding.” Tom pointed a finger at him. “You’re a fiend. A sneaky, fatass little fiend.”

Oatmeal looked towards the kitchen table and meowed before looking back at Tom. He shook his body out, fur flying everywhere and settling in the air.

“Why must you insult me in this way? Why wouldn’t you go in your-“ Tom cut himself off when he looked at the litter box, still on the kitchen table where he left it. So that was what Oatmeal had been looking at.

“Oh. I told you not to put your feet on the table.” Tom realized the cat had listened to him after all. Oatmeal had pooped on the floor, but only because Tom failed to put the litter box down. Oatmeal let out a quiet meow and walked over to Tom, hitting his leg with his tail.

“No, I get it.” Tom sighed as he went to get cleaning supplies. “We were both at fault. I mean, I wasn’t the one who shit on the floor, but we both made a mistake.”

Oatmeal circled Tom’s body before taking a seat at his feet, peering up at him with wide eyes. Tom felt guilty as he looked at the animal, knowing he could never understand that he was sorry for yelling at him. He walked to the table and got the litter box, setting it down where Oatmeal could access it.

“Here.” He said softly. “Sorry about that.”

Oatmeal walked over to the box and looked up at Tom, giving Tom the impression that he was forgiven. But of course, Oatmeal still had a cold side. He hissed viciously at Tom before stepping into the littler box.

“Fine.” Tom scoffed. “I’m not sorry.”

Your cat and your boyfriend stared at each other for a long time, neither wanting to be the one to leave. That was a sign of weakness, and they were both determined to dominate the other.

“I’m getting frozen yogurt.” Tom said suddenly, unable to take the tension any longer. He grabbed his keys and left without another word.

Less than an hour later, Tom returned home with a ring of chocolate frozen yogurt around his mouth. He locked the front door and turned his light on, jumping when he saw Oatmeal sitting in the middle of the floor with a vacant stare.

“Jesus. Warn a guy, would you?” Tom rolled his eyes as he held a hand over his heart. “You could’ve given me a heart attack.”

Oatmeal stayed silent as Tom put his keys in the bowl by the door, his eyes following Tom’s every move.

“Yeah, you would’ve liked that, wouldn’t you?” Tom narrowed his eyes at Oatmeal before washing his hands in the kitchen sink. Oatmeal let out a loud hiss, making Tom jump out of his skin. He had crossed the room to get to Tom, all without making a sound, and sat himself at his feet. Tom stumbled back, only stopping when his back hit the wall. His heart pounded in his ears from the scare, and if he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn Oatmeal was laughing at him. Not wanting to show weakness, Tom quickly collected himself and stood up straight.

“Alright listen here you little bitch.” Tom snapped. “I don’t like you. And if I wasn’t seriously in love with your owner, I would microwave you. I would put you in the microwave and watch you rotate just like them damn rotisserie chickens until you blew up. And then I would set the microwave on fire.”

Oatmeal let out a long meow, sounding insulted by Tom’s words. His eyes softened upon hearing the hurt in the cats voice, fixing his body language to not look as menacing.

“Okay I wouldn’t do all that, but I would drive out to a really far place and leave you there. And that’s basically the same thing.” Tom shouted as he folded his arms. Oatmeal dragged his paw behind his ear and purred, taking no interest in Tom or his threats.

“Shut the fuck up.” Tom hissed. Oatmeal hissed back and swiped a paw at Tom.

“I’ll shave you.” Tom threaten as he backed away. “I will shave you bare.”

Oatmeal continued to advance on him, backing the actor into a corner.

“You don’t think I’d do it?” Tom asked with a shaky voice. “I’ll get the buzzer right now. Do you know how ugly you’ll look?”

Oatmeal stopped in his place and sat down, leaning back on his front paws to stretch.

“That’s right.” Tom laughed sharply. “You’ll look like an uncooked chicken breast. Fuck you.”

Oatmeal watched Tom curiously as he left the room, satisfied with how the conversation went.

Wednesday

Tom sat at his kitchen island, slowing sipping his fourth glass of wine. It had gotten to the point in the week where he missed you too much to do much of anything, which resulted him getting drunk early in the day. He had been locked in a staring contest with Oatmeal for quite some time, never breaking eye contact as he poured his next glass.

“What are you looking at?” Tom slurred as he brought the wine glass to his lips. Oatmeal said nothing, blinking slowly at Tom as he drank.

“So what?” Tom shrugged. “My girlfriend is gone. I can get drunk at 2 pm.”

Oatmeal tilted his head to the side, something Tom was growing to resent.

“How dare you judge me?” He spoke slowly, heavily intoxicated now. “You’re not even wearing clothes.”

Oatmeal let out a soft meow, making a smile tug at Toms lips.

“Heh heh.” He chuckled as he took another sip. “Imagine that? You’d look pretty stupid in clothes.”

Oatmeal took a few steps toward Tom, sweetly purring as he rubbed himself against Toms legs.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to call you stupid.” Tom said softly. “If anyone’s stupid, it’s me. I should’ve gone with Y/n. I miss her so much.”

Oatmeal peered up at Tom with kind eyes, the first docile interaction between them.

“Yeah.” Tom smiled as reached down to scratch his ears. “Me too.”

Oatmeal jumped onto the chair, and then into Toms lap, nuzzling himself against his neck. Tom happily stroked his soft fur, liking this newfound civility between them.

“This is gonna sound crazy, but what can I say? I’m a crazy guy.” Tom laughed heartily. “Do you want to drink with me? Do you just wanna go crazy and drink away the day?”

Oatmeal looked up at Tom and meowed, making Tom smile.

“Hell yeah!” He cheered. He picked Oatmeal up with one hand and grabbed the wine bottle with the other. After setting Oatmeal down on the ground, he poured wine into his water bowl.

“Wine is for cats! Wine is for people! Wine is for people and cats and people.” Tom sang happily. Oatmeal purred as he watched Tom, curious about the unknown liquid in his bowl.

“Thats right.” Tom agreed. “It’s also for church.”

Oatmeal sniffed the wine and pulled away, the sour smell sending a shiver through his body. He waltzed over to a sunbeam that was lighting up the floor and laid down, letting the sun warm his body. Tom stared at him for a moment before shrugging and laying down beside the cat.

“Do you believe in God?” Tom asked as he looked over at him. Oatmeal let out a small meow, to which Tom raised his eyebrows.

“You’re crazy, man.” Tom shook his head and patted his chest. “You’re a crazy dude.”

He laid in the sun with Oatmeal in silence for a moment, taking in the warmth from the floor.

“It’s so warm down here.” Tom sighed in content. “It’s like a hug from the sun.”

Oatmeal swatted his tail towards Tom, making Tom smile. Tom reaching over and rubbed Oatmeal’s tummy, his attention diverting to the bell on his collar. He took it between his fingers and saw your name and address engraved on it, sighing again as he was reminded about how much he missed you.

“I have to tell you man, I love her so much.” Tom pouted wistfully. “Y/n is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Tom smiled as Oatmeal purred in understanding.

“You want another drink you crazy bastard?” He asked the cat as he got off the floor. He poured some wine into his glass, and then some into Oatmeal’s already full bowl.

“Me too, man. Me too.” Tom said as he took another sip and got back on the floor.

“You know, Oatmeal isn’t that bad of a name. I can see why she named you that, though.” Tom thought out loud as he stroked the cats fur. “You’re the exact color of her favorite kind. The maple brown sugar one, you know? She gets so excited in the winter when it’s one sale. I’ve seen her clear a whole shelf into her shopping cart. And then she sits down at the table when her hair is still messy and lets it warm her up. She puts her little spoon in it and blows on it even though it’s never that hot. She’s so cute, man. I love her so much. I could watch her eat oatmeal everyday.”

Oatmeal purred as he rubbed his head against Toms hand.

“I know.” Tom chuckled. “We really are lucky.”

Tom situated himself into a more comfortable position on the floor and held his hand up, letting the sun rays shine through his fingers and illuminate the cat hair in the air.

“I gotta say, you’re really onto something with this whole napping in sunbeams deal.” Tom commented. “I’m quite enjoying this.”

Tom was too busy drinking on the floor to hear his front door open. You set your bags down and went into the living room, smiling in confusion when you saw your boyfriend and your cat on the ground.

“Tom?” You laughed at the sight. “I’m home.”

Toms eyes widened as he sprang off the floor, the wine in his glass sloshing around as he stood up.

“It was his idea!” He exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at your cat.

“Oh really?” You humored him. “What are you guys doing?”

“We…sunbeam.” Tom explained as he weakly pointed at the sunbeam, still too drunk to form a real sentence.

“I see.” You chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You placed a welcomed kiss to his lips, immediately tasting the bitter wine.

“Are you drunk?” You asked as you finally noticed the wine glass in his hand.

“Maybe.” Tom giggled as he struggled to stand up straight.

“Never mind that.” Your eyes shifted to Oatmeal and the vacant spot next to him that your boyfriend previously inhabited. “Were you just…cuddling my cat?”

“No.” Tom said quickly. “We were both laying there and you happened to walk in during the brief moment we touched. That’s all.”

“Why were you on the floor?” You questioned as you took the wine glass from his hand and took a sip. Tom opened his mouth but found no words coming out, opting to change the subject instead.

“Come here!” He smiled as he pulled you in for a long hug. “I missed you. Tell me all about your trip.”

“I picked up food from your favorite restaurant. Let’s eat and I’ll tell you everything.” You suggested as you pulled away.

“That sounds perfect.” He sighed, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. “I’m starved.”

You pulled him in for another kiss before bending down to greet your cat.

“Hello baby.” You cooed as you scratched behind Oatmeal’s ears. “Were you a good boy for Tom?”

“He was all right.” Tom shrugged, sending a wink to the cat. “Nothing to report.”

“You spend all that time whining about watching him but you have nothing to report?” You asked skeptically as you stood back up.

“It was pretty mellow.” Tom said dismissively, not wanting to get into the multiple fights they had. You squinted at Tom as if you didn’t believe him and folded your arms.

“Hm. Maybe he did put that hex on you after all.” You teased. “I’m gonna change real quick and move my bags.”

“Okay. I missed you.” Tom pulled you by the hand and kissed you again before you could leave the room.

“I missed you more.” You gave him another quick kiss and grimaced. “You taste like alcohol.”

“I’ll set the table, princess.” He called after you as you walked towards his bedroom.

“Thank you!” You called back.

Tom got to work setting the table and putting the bag of food near the place settings. You came back in no time in one of his large T-shirts and a pair of his boxers. Tom smiled softly, always happy to see you in his clothing.

“You look comfy.” He commented as he pulled you towards him by the waist.

“I am.” You hummed. “That was such a long flight. I don’t know why I wore jeans.”

“Well at least you’re home now. I couldn’t handle us being apart for another day.” He pouted while resting his forehead against yours.

“Me either.” You smiled at him until your eyes shifted to the wall behind him, noticing something strange right away.

“Tom?” You asked as you pulled your head back.

“Yes, love?” He answered, obviously to the concerned look on your face.

“Why is there wine in Oatmeal’s food bowl?”

Tag list 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort @foreverxholland @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @rebekkah4766 @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @where-art-thau-romeo @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @parkerboop @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @babeyspidey @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @lou-la-lou @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @anapocalypseinmymind @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258 @maybemona @young-romanoff @alexxcorona113 @spidey-reids-2003 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper @thestylestour @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterspideysstuff @reemusluupin @perspectiveparker @itstaskeen @itsemohours

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman #marvel #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n

1K notes · View notes

uvobreakmylegs · 3 years

Text

The One That Got Away

first part of a two-parter for razor. this one features young!razor

i am so sorry if my titles are horrible. i am not good at naming things

Warnings: nonconsensual groping, mentions of violence, mentions of death, attempted noncon, little bit of spanking

The first time you ever spoke one-on-one with Razor was when he had cornered you in the bathroom at a friend's house party. He had forced you back in, shutting the door with his foot as he leaned over you, his face going into the crook of your neck while his arms caged you in against the edge of the sink. Razor's breath stank of alcohol and there was a a bit of a flush in his face.

“You smell nice,” he whispered.

He was clearly drunk, and you weren't sure if that was good or bad.

Your relationship with Razor was only that of a friend-of-a-friend kind of thing. Though it was a stretch to even call it that, as you were certain Razor was just using one of the guys in your friend group. Quinton had always wanted to be perceived as being the “tough guy” of the group, and to achieve that end he'd latched on to Razor and his friends. And even though Quinton was adamant that he had been accepted into that particular group, they seemed to treat him more as an errand boy, always ordering him around and belittling him.

Despite all of that, Quinton was still desperate for them to treat him as an equal, and his newest efforts in trying to achieve that included inviting Razor and his friends to the parties your regular friend group held every so often. Hopeless bastard really went and made everyone else deal with his problems.

Razor buried his nose in your hair and took a deep inhale, and you were spurred to respond to his compliment.

“T-that's very nice of you to say.”

You'd been hoping that your answer was inoffensive and couldn't be construed as being flirtatious. Sadly, this was not the first time you'd had issues with him.

Once Razor and his guys started coming to your get-togethers, the atmosphere changed. It was well known that they were criminals of some sort, but no one wanted to learn what exactly they did. And no one was brave enough to tell them to leave. So the group stayed, making the atmosphere uncomfortable while one of the others in your group would regularly chew out Quinton for inviting them. They stayed, and at certain points during those nights you would feel like there were eyes on you, and when you turned around to look you'd find Razor staring at you. He didn't bother looking away once you made eye contact; he seemed to like whenever you caught him as he would grin at you.

The last time you all had gotten together, you'd been distracted by your phone while sitting on the couch, and you hadn't noticed when someone sat down next to you. But you noticed when an arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you to the side while you yelped in surprise. If it was anyone else you would have yelled at them, maybe slapped them for good measure. But when you found Razor staring down at you, a smug grin on his face while he pulled you against his side, you couldn't speak. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to let you go, or to even just get up on your own, so you just sat there, looking back down at your phone while you pretended that this wasn't happening.

Razor didn't do much more than that, surprisingly. He'd kept his hand on your hip, though there was once or twice where that hand had slipped lower and squeezed your ass, as if he wanted to see if he could get a reaction out of you. You still said nothing but you felt the heat rise to your cheeks as he blatantly groped you, his friends snickering while yours watched in horror.

Eventually he let you go, getting up to announce to his guys that they were leaving. You made the mistake of glancing up at him as he left, and he winked at you.

After they left your friends were apologetic and that night you were the one to chew out Quinton.

Tonight you had been promised that Razor wouldn't show up. And yet he'd paraded in the front door as he usually did, and once again, no one had the guts to tell him to leave.

As you'd been driven to the party by one of your friends who, for some reason, didn't want to leave yet, you had been avoiding him all night. Your one friend Macey promised that she wouldn't leave your side, and the both of you had been moving about to different rooms in the house whenever Razor came close.

But clearly something had gone wrong, as Razor now had you trapped in the enclosed space of the half-bath while you had your hands pulled up in front of your chest, unsure if you should try to push him away or not.

He chuckled.

“Always so polite,” he said.

“Ah... Sorry?”

“Don't say sorry. I like it. It’s cute.”

One of his hands slid over the surface of the sink and ended up on your hip, his fingers trailing random patterns on the fabric of your dress.

“I want to know you better,” said Razor. His hand went further down until it reached the hem of your dress, and it slipped under, squeezing your thigh as he slowly trailed his hand back up, bringing the skirt of your dress with him.

The sink edge dug in hard against your back as you tried to keep yourself from screaming. If you started fighting Razor would easily overpower you, and even if you screamed for help no one would be able to pull him off of you. Or they'd just sit back and let it happen again. Your only way out of this was if you could appeal to him in some way.

“We can know each other better,” you said, your trembling hand reaching for his wrist and stopping the way his hand moved up.

“But maybe not in a bathroom? Why don't we go out for coffee sometime?” you tried.

He grunted in response and his face went back into the crook of your neck where he began to plant open mouthed kisses. His hand had stayed when you stopped him, but when you tried to remove it from underneath your dress, it felt like trying to push against solid stone.

He was still sloppily kissing your neck when you tried again.

“Razor, we should go back. The others will get suspicious.”

“Who gives a fuck about that?”

“I.... I guess I do?”

He still sounded drunk, but there had been a bit of an edge to his voice in his last sentence. Like he was getting annoyed.

“You shouldn't care so much about what other people think,” Razor said. He still had his face up against your neck and he lightly squeezed your thigh.

“Maybe,” you agreed, “but I still don't want to be known as the girl who does hook-ups in the bathroom, y'know?”

“Who said it's a hook-up?”

With that he flicked your hand away and he had his fingers hooked on the elastic band of your panties. Your own hands scrambled to hold on to the flimsy fabric when he began to pull them down your legs, trying to protect your dignity with what little strength you had.

“R-Razor please don't-”

“Just let it happen. It'll be good.”

Suddenly the door opened, and behind Razor you saw Macey's head pop in. Her expression morphed into one of shock when she saw the two of you while Razor twisted his head to give her the deadliest glare you had ever seen.

To her credit, Macey didn't back down.

“Uh, um, I-I think we should head back now,” she said to you as she tried to ignore the look Razor was giving her, “you've got that test tomorrow morning, remember?”

Recognizing the out she had given you, you latched onto it.

“Right, my test,” you said aloud before looking at Razor, “sorry, I forgot, I need to leave early tonight. But we can talk some other time, right?”

Razor said nothing, but turned his head to look back at you. Oh God he was pissed. But you smiled at him, still desperate to appeal to his good side (if he had one) while you tried to subtly pull your underwear back up.

Slowly, he withdrew his hand from under your dress and stood back up, stepping back and leaving your path to the door open. You thanked him as you finished adjusting yourself, promising that the two of you could meet up sometime later as Macey hurried out ahead of you. He still said nothing and just kept watching until you were gone from his sight.

“I'm never coming to another one of these parties if he's going to be there,” you said to Macey the second her car doors had closed. She nodded in agreement.

It had been a little over a month since that incident, and the parties had stopped on account of a string of murders that had been occurring in the area. Going out under conditions like that would be more than a little stupid, even if you would have been with a large group of people. And with other recent events, you truly weren't in the mood to go out to a party.

Two weeks ago Macey had been found in her apartment beaten to such an extreme state that it had landed her in a coma. You had seen her a few times in the hospital. Underneath her bandages she looked horrible, her skin bruised and beaten to the point that she was virtually unrecognizable. You'd brought flowers each time, and even though you knew she couldn't see them, you hoped that she could sense their presence in her hospital room. Her father appreciated the gesture; he was having a hard time coping with needing to see his daughter in that state, and he was always grateful for you and your friends who made a point to visit.

Maybe those flowers would give her something nice to see whenever she woke up.

You really, really hoped she would wake up.

Currently, you were sitting in front of one of your apartment windows, looking out past the metal stairs of the fire escape to watch the rain that was pouring down outside, the little droplets of water that managed to hit the window leaving a zigzagging trail in their wake as they ran down the smooth glass. It was getting close to dinner time, and you were inclined to take advantage of a pizza coupon that was going to expire soon. But you found yourself feeling a bit conflicted as you looked at the conditions outside. It seemed mean to make the delivery driver come out in weather like this, even if that was part of their job. The only other option was reheating leftovers, but the sight of the rain had you feeling so drained that you doubted you had the energy for even that.

Deciding that you would compensate the driver with a nice tip, you reached for your phone as you double-checked the number on the coupon.

A knock at the front door interrupted you.

It seemed a little strange, as you weren't expecting anyone and it was a bit too late for packages to be delivered. For whatever reason you got a bad feeling as you looked at the door. Like whoever was on the other side of it was dangerous and not someone you would want to open the door for. You could pretend to not be home, but if they had seen that the lights were on in your apartment when they walked up to the building they'd know you were ignoring them.

The knocking came again, this time a bit more forceful.

You slowly rose up from where you had been sitting, phone in hand as you moved across the room while trying to be as quiet as possible. No need to alert whoever it was if you could avoid it.

Peering through the peephole, you saw.... Nothing? Just the rather drab hallway outside and the flickering overhead lights that needed to be replaced. You hadn't heard anything else from out there, certainly nothing that sounded like footsteps walking away, but maybe whoever it was had given up.

For whatever reason, you decided to open your door and stick your head out. There wasn't much thought process as it was more of an automatic reaction to check outside of your door when you found no one to be there.

You wished you hadn't gone out to check, as when you looked to your right, you saw a large, familiar figure with particularly familiar purple spiky hair who had been walking down the hallway, who then paused when he heard the door open and turned to look back at you.

Razor smiled when the two of you made eye contact, saying your name aloud as he turned around fully and began to make his way back.

Fuck fuck fuck

“It seemed weird that your lights would be on if you weren't home,” he said as he stood before the doorway, “glad I stuck around just a little longer.”

It took you a few moments to respond as you stared up at him blankly, only being spurred to answer when he said your name with a questioning look.

“S-sorry! I.... Wasn't expecting to see you, Razor,” you stammered, “h-how did you know where I live?”

Razor shrugged.

“I have my ways.”

Without another word he pushed his way past you and entered your apartment. He stopped just after entering, taking in his surroundings while you stood there petrified. Razor looked back at you.

“Shouldn't you close the door?”

“Yeah.....” you answered, shutting the front door while you faced him. It felt like turning your back to him would be a bad idea.

“This ain't a bad place,” Razor remarked as he began to walk about, looking at your furniture and other decorations you had placed in the space.

“Thank you,” you mumbled.

“Why haven't any of those parties ever been hosted here?” he asked.

“It's a little small for that.”

He hummed in agreement before commenting “true. This would be a pretty small space for the number of people who usually go to those things.”

“Yeah. I don't really have anybody over. Ever,” you said. What was the point in that? Razor knew he was being intrusive. Subtly pointing out how rude he was being wasn't going to do anything.

“I'm pretty lucky then, aren't I?” Razor said, a smirk on his face.

“..... I guess you are,” you answered, smiling back at him while you hoped your furrowed brows didn't give away how much you were freaking out internally. This was the last person you wanted to have in your apartment, but he had made his way inside so easily and you were just too powerless to stop him. That last interaction with him was still fresh in your mind, and it wasn't lost on you how he stepped forward once more, looking in through the open doors of other rooms and humming to himself when he spotted your bedroom. He was here to finish what he had started, and this time you didn't have Macey to pop in as your deus ex machina.

Once again, your only way of getting out of this was if you could manage to talk him out of whatever he was planning. You straightened your back as you addressed him again.

“So what brings you over, Razor?”

“Like I said last time, I want to know you better,” he replied. Turning around, he began to walk back towards you. It took everything to not fling open the door behind you and run as fast as you could when you saw his large figure coming at you. There was no doubt that he could outrun you.

“Ah, you remember that? You seemed pretty drunk, so I wasn't sure if you'd forgotten or not,” you said, laughing a little bit.

“How could I forget?” he said, standing in front of you now.

“Especially when we were so rudely interrupted.”

He snapped out that last comment, his eyes narrowing slightly. He really was still pissed off about Macey.

“You mean Macey? She's really nice; I'm sure you'd like her if you got to know her,” you insisted.

Razor smirked.

“Can't really get to know her now, can I? She's in a coma, right?”

The reminder of Macey's current condition made you wilt a bit, and you looked down to the floor.

“... Yeah.....”

“I heard it was brutal,” Razor commented.

You nodded, agreeing with a small “yeah.”

“She didn't deserve that,” you added.

“Well, maybe there's a lesson to be learned about minding your own business.”

….. What

You looked back up to find Razor grinning at you.

“But don't worry,” he said, placing a hand on your head to tousle your hair, “I'll be here to protect you from anything like that. You've got nothing to be afraid of.”

You had never felt so horribly stupid than you did in that moment. The pieces should have fallen into place earlier, but it was only now, with Razor's callous reaction and how you remembered that Macey had been found beaten half to death in her apartment that you realized how much danger you were in.

Had he gone through these same steps with Macey? Or was it different since you were the one he was trying to fuck?

And would he do to you what he did to her when he was finished?

“You seem depressed now,” he murmured, leaning in to push you against the door.

“I guess I did that. How 'bout I take you out somewhere nice and we'll forget about the thing with that girl? Go get some coffee, like you said. And maybe after I can take you back to my place.”

Leaving with him was a horrible idea. Stepping out of this apartment and going to an unknown location with him was a horrible, horrible idea. It was dangerous enough that you were completely alone with him in your own apartment; letting him decide where to take you and giving him that kind of control would only make things worse for you.

You needed to contact the police, and you needed to do it without him knowing.

A thought struck you when you caught sight of the pizza coupon you had left sitting on the table.

“Actually, you want to order some pizza?” you asked.

The question caught him off-guard as he blinked in surprise. His eyes followed your finger when you pointed to the coupon while you continued “I was going to order one before you came; I wanted to use the coupon before it expired. I guess it's just good luck that you happened to stop by.”

“I guess,” he said as he shrugged, “it's also fine if we stay here.”

Razor pulled away from where he had been looming over you and walked over to where you had pointed, looking down at the small scrap of paper before he glanced back at you, your phone still in hand as you turned the screen back on.

When you began tapping at the screen but didn't put the phone up to your ear, he raised an eyebrow.

“Aren't you going to call them?”

“Ah, sorry. I get a little nervous about talking to people over the phone. They have an option for doing an online order, so I was just going to do that. I was actually in the middle of it when you dropped by,” you explained.

“Why not use the computer?”

“It's charging.”

He tsked at that, unimpressed.

“Do you usually make things this difficult for yourself?” he asked.

“I guess,” you answered, laughing a little bit.

Evidently your explanation was good enough, as Razor just shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, walking to the window to watch the rain outside.

With him not even looking at you, you turned your attention to your phone as you made a series of frantic texts to the emergency services. Texting wasn't as effective, you were aware, but calling wasn't an option. You were too freaked out to be able to keep yourself composed enough through a phone call, and if Razor knew you were talking to the police he'd put a stop to that immediately.

You put in a brief description of Razor and your situation, as well as the cover story you had told him so the police wouldn't come towards the building with their sirens blaring. When you got a reply from the dispatch asking for your address, you quickly typed it in, keeping one eye on Razor, who had moved from the window and had gone into your room. You could hear the drawers of your dresser being opened. But even as your privacy was being thoroughly invaded, you kept your focus on your lifeline, and you could have cheered when you received a text that told you the police were on their way.

“Seems like it's taking a long time,” he said, leaning against the door frame of your bedroom.

“It's all good,” you answered, “just trying to figure out how much is good for a tip. I feel a bit bad making the delivery guy come out in the rain.”

He chuckled a bit at that, shaking his head before he made his way to your couch, sitting down and patting on the spot next to him as he told you to sit next to him.

Now you needed to hold him off until the police arrived.

“Sorry!” you exclaimed, “I haven't offered you anything to drink, have I? I've got some stuff in the fridge, if you want anything.”

You made a move to head to your little kitchen, placing the phone in your back pocket as you did so.

“Maybe later,” Razor said, and his tone made you freeze.

“Right now I want you here.”

He patted the spot next to him again.

Just smile and nod, you told yourself.

Don't let him suspect.

Your legs felt heavy as they carried you to that spot on the couch. The second you sat down his arm was around you, a hand on your hip as his thumb rubbed against you in small circles.

“You ever had a boyfriend?” he asked.

You blinked at the question, a flush going to your cheeks when you answered “I had one in high school.”

“How far did you get with him?”

You were blushing now, and you looked away as you admitted “it didn't last long. He was just using me to make another girl jealous.”

“Oh? And how did that work out for him?”

“She was a lesbian.”

Upon hearing that he actually laughed out loud, and for the first time since you'd met him he seemed like a normal person. A normal person that, if he had been like that all the time, you would've been happy to get to know. He didn't look like a psychopath who would beat women into comas just for making him angry.

….. What does a psychopath look like, though?

He still seemed normal when he asked his next question.

“You been with anyone else?”

You shook your head.

“Hm. You don't seem like the type to go to bed with any random guy you meet,” he said, “you a virgin?”

You felt heat rush to your face as you turned red, looking away in embarrassment once more.

Razor chuckled.

“Thought so. It might as well be plastered to your forehead, especially with how you've been trying to stall me since I came in.”

A lump formed in your throat.

…. He knew?

“Don't act so surprised; you're pretty easy to read.”

With that, Razor lifted you by your waist and placed you so you were straddling his thigh, one hand holding you down by your hip while the other reached around to grab the phone from your back pocket. He waved the phone in front of you.

“Who'd you text?” he asked.

He'd kill you if you told him the truth.

“The pizza place,” you said.

“Don't fucking lie to me,” he snapped, his eyes narrowing.

“It's the truth!” you insisted, “what else would I have been doing?”

“Probably contacting those idiot friends of yours to get them to step in again.”

With that he tossed the phone against the far wall, shattering the screen on impact. The sound made you flinch and you began to tremble in his hold, wrapping your arms around yourself while his free hand went to cup your face.

“Well, whoever you messaged, it won't matter much. I'll send them packing,” he said, the air of confidence around him clear.

“You don't have to be scared,” he continued, “I won't hurt you.”

He grinned as he said that, and the way he leered at you made you certain that you couldn't trust a word he said. He seemed like the type who might hurt you just for the fun of it.

Just focus on the police. They said they were on their way. They'd be here soon and then they'd stop him.

Razor said he'd take care of anybody who came by, but he hadn't mentioned the police at all. Did he think you didn't have the nerve to contact the cops? Or would he be expecting even that?

He pulled you forward by the collar of your shirt and suddenly your lips were smashed against his. One of his hands gripped you by your hair to keep you in place as he moved the kiss along.

Play along

You opened your lips ever so slightly, which he noticed immediately and forced his tongue into your mouth. You let him do as he pleased, only making small noises when his tongue would brush past yours or when his other hand moved to grab at your ass. When he pulled the hand in your hair away, he let out a pleased hum when you didn't try pulling away from him. Your hands found their way to his chest, where you balled up your fists to hold onto the ragged red tank top he always wore.

A sharp smack to your ass made you pull back as you yelped. He was grinning at you again, his hand rubbing the spot he had just hit.

“Feels nice when you give in, doesn't it.”

It wasn't a question, but you responded like it was.

“Not when you hit me,” you answered meekly.

“Don't worry. I'll get you to like it.”

Razor pushed you so your back was flat on the couch, and he leaned over to whisper in your ear “I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk.”

There was little you could do to respond as he then pushed your shirt up past your breasts and ripped off your bra. Your first instinct was to cover up your chest with your arms, but the glare you got for doing that forced you to rest your arms by your sides, your hands desperately gripping the couch cushions beneath you. Tears were now flowing down the sides of your face and getting caught in your hair.

The fact that you were crying went unacknowledged by Razor, who had bent down to take one of your nipples into his mouth while massaging your other breast with his hand. He handled you roughly, gripping your breast to the point that it hurt while sucking harshly on your breast, occasionally biting down just to see how you'd react. You put a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries while you began sobbing.

“Too much already, huh?” Razor commented before his tongue came out to lick up your breast before he shifted again to mouth at your neck.

“You're such a soft thing.”

“Ple-please, Razor,” you hiccuped, “I-I-I'm n-not ready.”

“Sure you are,” he said as he sat back up, “you're just nervous is all.”

His hands went down to the waistband of your pants, and after undoing the button at the top, he began to pull them down your legs, grinning when he pulled them down to your thighs and got a look at your still-covered core and what you had managed to deny him last time. He pulled the pants so they were past your knees and was about to take them off your legs completely-

Someone knocked at the door.

Razor paused, clearly annoyed as he glared at the door before casting that same glare down at you. Being so exposed while he looked at you like that somehow made it worse.

“I forgot you did that,” he mumbled before sitting back up fully, “so who'd you text? Which one of those idiots you hang around with is outside?”

Before you could answer there was another knock, accompanied by a voice that called out “hello? I'm here with your delivery order.”

At hearing those words, Razor seemed surprised.

“.... I thought you were bullshitting me,” he mumbled.

You quickly shook your head.

The voice called out again and Razor sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly as he begrudgingly got off of you. You sat up after and watched as he approached the front door. You'd need to run, wouldn't you? His first reaction would be to attack the police, right? And if he took them out, he'd be after you. Pulling your pants back up, you hurriedly glanced around your apartment as you tried to determine the best course of action. Locking yourself in another room didn't seem smart; Razor would probably be able to break down the door without much trouble.

The fire escape caught your eye. The window was locked, so that would eat up some seconds, but that was where you should go if things turned violent, you decided.

Before he opened the door, Razor looked back to you. You looked like a mess, your hair disheveled and your eyes puffy from crying. He motioned with a jerk of his head.

“Move to someplace where they won't see you.”

He saw it as trying to hide the fact that there was an extremely distressed woman in the apartment with him, but you were grateful for the order as it allowed you to get to a spot that was closer to the fire escape. You nodded as you stood up and ran over to the doorway of your bedroom, fastening the button of your pants as you did so. Razor looked annoyed by that, but he said nothing as you hid yourself out of sight.

Facing towards the window, you prepared yourself to run. There was no way this encounter wasn't going to be violent.

You couldn't see what was happening at the door, but you heard everything. The way the door lock was flipped the other way, the way the knob was turned and the way Razor swung the door open.

Then there was a pause.

“Good evening sir. We received a message about a domestic issue going on in this apartment. May we come in and-”

The words were cut off suddenly as the door was slammed shut, only it didn't sound like it normally did. It sounded as though something had been caught in between the door and the frame before it could shut. The blood-curdling scream that came after told you that it was not something, but someone.

“You fucking bitch!”

Razor's words sent you into a panic and you raced towards the window, somehow opening the lock in record time and throwing it upwards as you slipped out through the opening.

You felt the disturbance in the air as a hand swiped at your neck, narrowly missing you. There were more noises, more yelling and the sounds of furniture being displaced, but all you were focusing on was getting down those stairs as fast as you could, your feet slipping now and then from how wet the rain had made the metal.

The ladder at the bottom was jammed when you tried to force it down. There was still yelling coming from above you and in an act of desperation, you climbed down the ladder anyway, even though the end of it was still several feet above the ground.

You let go when you reached the bottom and you landed hard on your side. It hurt like hell and you couldn't move for a few moments. When you were finally able to force yourself to stand back up, there was someone fast approaching you.

It was an officer, and without wasting any time she guided you away from the building and even went as far as to give you her jacket when she got you to the other side of the street.

“You're safe now,” she told you.

At the sound of those words, you felt yourself slump against the side of a parked car, and when you heard another officer tell you “they got him”, you let out a sigh of relief. They said something more, something about a hunter, but you weren't paying attention at that point.

You were too high on hearing the news that you were safe.

The police had been looking for Razor, as it turned out.

Evidence that had been found at Macey's apartment and, even scarier, evidence that had been found at the sites of those recent murders had been linked to Razor, and he was officially a person of interest. Razor must have found that out, as he’d been avoiding them. He had likely been planning on staying at your apartment for a few days to lay low.

To be alone with him for days....

That thought made you shudder, and you wrapped the blanket the ambulance workers had given you tighter around yourself. It was a mess outside of your building: police cars, road barriers, ambulances, pedestrians trying to get a look at the scene and blue uniforms as far as the eye could see. You sat at the back of an ambulance, recounting everything to the officer in front of you as best you could. It was hard to verbalize all that had happened, and you found a bit of resentment growing in you towards the officer who insisted that you tell him everything, even getting annoyed with you when you were hesitating on some bits. He needed your statement, but still, what an asshole.

All the while the downpour continued.

When the officer finally left you, you thought you'd be taken to the hospital. Honestly, they could take you fucking anywhere and you'd be grateful for it. Just as long as you weren't here, among the incessant noise and gawking faces and the stretchers carrying body-bags that you refused to look at.

“Excuse me.”

A man's voice brought you back to attention. When you looked up, you saw a man with spiky black hair with a bandanna across his forehead wearing a dark cloak. He spoke your full name with a questioning tone as he looked at you, and you slowly nodded your head.

He grinned at you.

“Thanks for your help with all that. Razor caught my attention and I'd been chasing after him for a bit, but even I couldn't manage to pin him down. I'm really grateful you were able to keep him here like you did; I need him for a project I'm working on.”

“.... You're... Welcome?”

You didn't think this guy was with the police, and you had no clue what the fuck he was talking about with a project. He didn't seem like a bounty hunter based off that last bit, so who the fuck was this guy?

“Oh yeah! Your apartment got pretty messed up when I apprehended him,” he continued, pulling something out of his pocket.

He had been the one to get Razor? What about the police? Your confusion furthered when you realized he had pulled out a pen and checkbook, and was currently scrawling something down on the paper.

“Consider this me saying 'sorry' for ruining your stuff, as well as a show of my gratitude for your assistance,” he told you, ripping out the check and placing it in your stiff hand.

With a wave of his hand and a cheerful goodbye, he was gone as quickly as he had come.

You stared vacantly at the spot where he'd been standing, your mind shot from the events from earlier and you were just unsure of what to make of the odd interaction. When you took a look at the check he had left with you, you could barely contain your shock.

You had never seen that many zeroes on a check before in your life.

Who in the ever-loving fuck was Ging Freecss?

You didn't hear much about Razor after that day, only that he was going to be executed. You weren't sure if that execution would be open to the public, but even if it was, you had no interest in going. You never wanted to see that man again.

The aftermath of the incident wasn't much good for anyone. Macey was taken off life support only a few months later after the doctors confirmed that there was no brain activity. It had been hard for everyone who knew her, especially her father. You had never seen anyone look so broken before.

After what Razor had done to you, Macey and all of those others had been brought to light, Quinton just about dropped off the face of the earth, cutting contact and going who knows where. You weren't sure if it was out of guilt or if he just didn't want to face any repercussions for being the person who had brought Razor into your life. But you honestly couldn't find it within yourself to care.

Razor's friends all ended up in jail for varying crimes; the only one who didn't was the one who was shot to death when they tried to burglarize a residence.

Things were never the same after that, and a two years later, you found that you couldn't take being there anymore. With your newfound wealth (that you still weren’t sure you really deserved), you uprooted everything and moved to a different part of the world, and finally, finally, you were able to start making positive improvements to your life. New location, new job, new friends. One that became particularly close to you was a girl named Odette. You had become more introverted after that incident, and Odette was much more outgoing, and she managed to help you overcome some of your new anxieties, and you found you were able to enjoy life again.

Four years in to your new life, Odette came across a particular person, one who told her that they could teach her amazing skills if she allowed them to unlock the abilities she had within herself. And as she was ever eager to share with you, you were dragged into this training as well, and over a period of several months, you were able to learn the basics of what the teacher called nen.

It was cool, you had to admit. But even after getting a handle on it, you weren't sure what practical use it had. You had no desire to become a Hunter, after all. Odette didn't want to either.

Three years went by with the two of you keeping your skills sharp but never really doing anything with it. But then Odette spotted an ad in the local paper, calling for nen users to do what seemed to be a simple job in exchange for a hefty sum. Odette jumped at the chance, the thrill of adventure calling to her as she pulled at you and insisted that you join her.

You agreed without any complaint.

It did make you slightly nervous that this was a game for Hunters, which you still had no desire to enter that particular occupation, but after hearing about the job and what exactly you'd be doing, you were intrigued. It was a competition, technically, but the idea of going to another world with your friend to collect cards just sounded like an opportunity that you would regret if you didn't take it.

After making the necessary arrangements and finalizing the deal with your now-employer, you and Odette were off to the mysterious Hunter's video game:

Greed Island.

#hxh razor #razor x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #reader insert #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere razor #sorry for the cliffhanger

332 notes · View notes

anemo-writes · 3 years

Text

hello travelers! i’m sorry for the late of inactivity recently, i’m working on some of my one-shot requests and obviously that will take a bit longer than writing headcanons; anyways, the genshin impact characters would like to wish you a very merry christmas!! the rest of the characters are below the cut to avoid clogging, so be sure to check them out too<3 happy holidays everyone, stay safe!

much love,

~ anemo-chan <3

The (Playable) Genshin Impact Characters Wishing You a Merry Christmas

Albedo: Merry Christmas. Ah, that reminds me—I hope that you do not mind, but I have sketched a portrait of you and want to give it to you as a gift. When did I do this, you ask? Why, it was during our time together in Dragonspine. It would have been a shame to not create something to remember one of my fondest memories, no?

Amber: Hey! Happy Christmas—Oh, I meant merry Christmas. Anyways, I have a gift for you! I noticed your glider was getting a bit worn out, so I got you a new pair; why don’t we go for a test run together? What? Oh yeah, gliding in the snow probably wouldn’t be the best idea, would it?

Barbara: Hehe, do you like the dress I’m wearing?—I made it myself! Oh, that reminds me, I made you a matching outfit to go along with mine when we go caroling together—huh? You’ve never been caroling before? No worries, Idol Barbara will teach you all you need to know!

Beidou: Yo~ Merry Christmas! How does the ship look? The crew and I spent the last week trying to decorate it accordingly. Say, how about you aboard the ship and join us for a few drinks? There’s nothing like a few mugs of eggnog on Christmas!

Bennett: Merry Christmas! Huh? What am I holding behind my back? Haha, well it was actually supposed to be your present...until I accidentally squashed it when I tripped walking out of the store, that is. Maybe I should’ve asked for extra luck for my presents this year...

Chongyun: Merry Christmas. Please accept this gift of a flower made of never-melting ice—I carved it myself. Yes, I partook in an ice-carving class when I was younger, so I suppose it does look somewhat like a professional’s; I hope to grow better at it, however. Perhaps I’ll gift my next creation to you, if you do not mind.

Diluc: Merry Christmas. I hope you do not mind if I gift you a bottle of a new line of wine we are producing at the winery—if you happen to enjoy it, do not hesitate to let me know; we have plenty of other bottles and I would be happy to give you another bottle or two. Ah, there’s no need for you to gift me anything back; your presence is a gift enough already.

Diona: Would you mind trying this special batch of eggnog that I made? It’s non-alcoholic, so hopefully my father—I mean, you won’t be able to taste the difference. That is, only if you want to—it’s not like I’m asking you to do me a favor or anything! Oh, and merry Christmas...

Fischl: Well, if it isn’t the merriest of the holidays! It won’t do to prepare a present that you would possibly not like, so please allow me to accompany you on a journey to find a gift of your deepest desires! Come, you have my full attention—what is it that you wish for?

Jean: Merry Christmas. It is another joyous occasion to celebrate. Ah, I apologize—I haven’t had time to buy you a gift. Why don’t we go together to find something you’d like? Please do not care about the price, see it as something I must repay you for for not having it wrapped and ready for you to open already.

Kaeya: Merry Christmas. You don’t happen to believe in Santa, do you? Oh, you do? Now now, that is very interesting. Haha, of course there’s no harm in believing in such a legend; that is, unless you’ve been naughty this year? Who knows what Santa does to bad little boys and girls...

Keqing: Merry Christmas! Here is a specially-crafted latern fueled by a part of my Electro-vision; it’ll never run out of charge, so please use it on your journey to light up the darkest of your days. I truly hope you enjoy it, and may the next year be filled with better luck and prosper.

Klee: Merry Christmas, best-friend! Here, look! Mm, it’s a bomb I made especially for you—it’s shaped like an ornament. Isn’t it the best? Don’t let Jean see though!! I’ll have to go solitary confinement for weeks if she catches you with one of my latest creations!

Lisa: Merry Christmas, cutie! As a gift, I’ve crafted you an amulet to match with one I’ve made for myself, so be sure not to loose it! It’ll look bad on my part, and we don’t want that, do we now?

Mona: Ah, the starry night always look brighter on such a merry holiday, don’t you think? Oh, that reminds me—here, take this. It’s an object to help you look for certain gems along your journey; it will glow when near, so be sure to keep an eye out. Once you find it, polish it well, and it will shine as bright as the night sky.

Ningguang: I would like to wish you a very merry Christmas. However, I was not too sure on what to get you as a gift, so please enlighten me on your preference. Go on, I am listening; anything will do, if it is to your liking.

Noelle: Merry Christmas! While it is a very merry day, it is bound with overwhelming errands and things to do—but fear not, your dutiful maid is here to serve you! Purchasing presents, wrapping them, or whatever else you would like me to do, I will do it—I am yours to serve for today, so please do not be shy to ask me to perform a task today.

Qiqi: Merry...Christmas? Yes, I believe that’s right. Baizhu told me that during these times friends often gift each other things, so I have brought you a bag of herbal medicine to use during your adventures because we are friends.

Razor: Ah...it is holiday today? Christmas...it does not sound familiar to Razor. But if you celebrate it, Razor is more than happy to celebrate with you; come, we will go hunting to prepare for our feast tonight.

Sucrose: Merry Christmas! Take a look at this, I’ve finally perfected the formula to this potion of mine! What does it do? Well, I’m glad you asked—if everything works accordingly to the plan, it’ll formulate a box of your most favorite memories of the past year into a physical memento! Doesn’t it sound wonderful?

Tartaglia: Hohoho~! Merry Christmas, comrade! Oh, that reminds me!—Teucer has been asking about you recently, so why don’t you join us for dinner? I’ll even escort you to Snezhnaya myself—perhaps we can even find some enemies to kill along the way. Haha, surely you won’t decline such an invitation?

Venti: Merry Christmas, dear friend! What is it that I’ve prepared for you on this joyous holiday, you may ask? Well, you’re in luck—I’ve written a new song just for you! Hehe, don’t worry about repaying me back, this song is completely free! Generous, I know! If you want to help though, make sure this song is passed down for multiple generations—I spent a long time writing it!

Xiangling: Merry Christmas! Look, look! I’ve prepared the two of us a whole feast for tonight’s dinner—what’s the bandaid on my finger, you ask? Oh, it’s no biggie, I accidentally cut myself while chopping some of the ingredients—oh, forget it! Let’s dig in! Be sure to tell me which one is your favorite; I’ll add to the menu at the restaurant!

Xingqiu: Merry Christmas, my liege! I have brought you one of my most treasured books as a gift for this joyous occasion; there is no need for you to return it! It is for your keeping. May the next year and years to come be filled with prosper and mirth!

Xinyan: Woohoo, it’s Christmas! What a rockin’ excuse to shred some Christmas tunes, amiright? Oh, you’ve got a pretty good voice if I do say so myself! Say, why don’t you join me up on stage today? I’ll play guitar, and you sing! That’s sure to rally up a crowd!

Zhongli: Merry Christmas—although I am not too familiar with the exchange of gifts, I have collected a rare flower for you which is native to Liyue only, and only grows during this time of the year. I hope to be able to exchange gifts with you next year as well.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #anemo-writes #im not even sure what to call this it just seemed fun to write 0-0

361 notes · View notes

ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

Text

We Keep Going, That’s All

@whimpers-and-whumpers , this is for you. Hope your surgery goes well today!

CW: Aftermath of near-death, hospital whump, recovery whump, survivor's guilt, alcohol use, referenced drug use

Ryan shows up to the hospital with Coke bottles full of liquid that absolutely is not Coke - or not much of it, anyway - and Nate doesn't refuse the gift.

He twists off the plastic cap and takes a drink, wincing at the burn down his throat. "Jesus, Ryan, this is m-m-more Jack than Coke."

"Yeah, well. Figured we could use some relaxing." Ryan gives him a slight smile, and the bruising that's been along his jaw - the obvious press of fingers - is finally starting to fade. Off-white bandages ring his neck, hiding from direct view the deep, slowly healing gashes rubbed in by the iron collar he'd worn for a year.

There are other wounds, Nate knows, underneath the lightly-draped black t-shirt Ryan wears, under his effortlessly casual, perfectly-on-trend jeans.

There are deeper wounds still entirely underneath his skin, inside his head. Nate knows those even better. He doesn't begrudge Ryan the need to find some way to fuzz out the edges of what must be written in stark, bright blood in his memory.

Nate spent a year and a half doing the same, after all, before Bram came back for Danny again.

"How is he?" Ryan asks, settling into a hard wooden chair with plastic back and cushion in a dull pastel mauve. "Any different?”

"Then y-yesterday?" Nate exhales, slowly, rubbing at his unshaven jaw. The stubble prickles his fingertips, itches a little as it grows in. There's a razor in the private room's little bathroom, but he doesn't have the energy to use it. All of Nate's energy now is focused entirely around staying right here, being right here, for the rare moments that Danny is both awake and himself.

"Yesterday wasn't... great.”

"No, it wasn't." Nate sighs, leaning over in the chair he sits in, next to Ryan, reaching out with his good left hand to gently nudge a bit of wavy red away from over Danny's face.

The love of his life - the man he's killed for, twice, and would kill for again - lays on his stomach with his head turned to one side. The hospital blanket is pulled up nearly to his chin, hiding from view the fact that nearly all of Danny seems made of bandages these days, bandages and tubes and wires. He breathes slowly, a drugged deep sleep to let his body rest and try desperately to heal itself around the nearly-fatal place the knife went into his back.

He sleeps, more than he's awake. But Nate makes sure that when his eyes open, someone is here for him, every single time.

"Today has been a little b-better, I think," Nate says after a moment's though. He brushes a crumb from the corner of Danny's mouth. "He ate a l-little, this morning. Just Jell-O and a little bit of cereal, but...”

"But something." Ryan nods, takes another drink, looks out the window. Outside, the day is bright and sunny, with a cloudless blue sky. The courtyard below is full of visiting families and patients taking walks through the landscaped flowers, all of them in brilliant bloom. "Have you even left this room since we got here?”

"No." Nate doesn't bother to lie.

Ryan looks over at him, and smiles very slightly. "Remind me to bring you by some multivitamins do you don't die of Vitamin D deficiency.”

"I'm f-fine." Nate takes another drink, feels the warmth slowly spreading through his shoulders, relaxing the knots and tension that have been slowly building day by day. The 'bed' he has here is just a visitor's couch built into the wall, lumpy and hard, with exactly one flat pillow with a scratchy pillowcase. But he'd rather be here than anywhere else. He'll be here for every single second Danny needs him. "I eat oranges for breakfast every d-d-day. No sc-... sc-... scurvy for me.”

"Didn't we joke about scurvy once?" Ryan asks, slightly faintly, looking up at the ceiling. "After Danny came home the first time?”

"M-Maybe. Don't remember. Why do you c-care if I feel good, anyway?”

“My brother can’t fuss over you right now,” Ryan says with a casual shrug. “So someone has to. He’ll never let me live it down if anything happened to you while he’s here. I’ll get chewed out if you get so much as a headcold and we both know it.”

“I d-doubt-”

Danny shifts a little and both men go silent, watching him move in the bed - just an inch or so to the right, his eyes tightly closed, body tensing as even the slightest movement brings a wash of pain.

"It's okay," Nate whispers, and Danny's eyelids flicker, slowly open. The blue in them is hazy and clouded, but not empty. This time, at least, it's Danny who is looking at him, and not the other one, the one that Nate knows only as someone else. The one who runs Danny's body when Danny can't do it any longer.

"Hey," Danny says, in a hoarse whisper. He tries for a smile, and it's faded and wobbly, but it's there. Then he lifts his head a little, looking over to see Ryan. "Oh, you're both... here. How long was I asleep?”

"Four hours or s-s-so," Nate says, standing up - ignoring the twinge of pain in his bad knee - and moving the pillow under Danny's head to still support him even as he moves. A hint of freckled shoulder shows, with its swirling trace of scars from Bram's knife. There's a star carved into the back of his left shoulder that Nate did, at Bram's command, once.

Ryan's gaze be damned, Nate leans over to kiss it, and to kiss one by one the carved letters that are still there, faded, in the back of Danny's neck. A. D. N.

He tries not to feel the guilt that twists in him at the ownership Bram had meant to make obvious, there. His own first initial with Bram's initials, his own... his own culpability.

“How do you feel?” Ryan asks, leaning over close to Danny.

Danny’s nose wrinkles. “You smell like a liquor store.”

“Yeah, well. When your big brother scares the shit out of you by getting himself stabbed almost to death because of you, maybe you need a little pick-me-up now and then.” Ryan manages a half-cocked smile, but it’s fragile, and they both know it.

With a hiss of pain, Danny moves his hand up the bed, offering it to Ryan, who takes it without hesitation, leaning over so his forehead rests gently against Danny’s.

“I’m okay,” Danny whispers.

“No, you’re not,” Ryan whispers back.

Nate moves to sit back in his chair, then stands again, restless. He doesn’t want to sit there but he doesn’t know where he does want to be... until he looks at Danny, thin and dwarfed even by a small hospital bed. He sets down the mostly-jack-and-a-little-coke and climbs into the bed without hesitating, laying down behind Danny on his side, letting his good hand rest just next to a swirl of Danny’s hair on the pillow.

Danny’s smile widens - not that Nate can see that, from his vantage point. Although Ryan can. “I’ll be okay,” He corrects himself, watching his brother. “They said there’s no sign of paralysis. I’ll walk, I’ll probably even run after a while.” He tries moving and hisses again. “A long while. It’s going to be okay, Ryan.”

“You always were way more optimistic when you were high as balls,” Ryan whispers, and he and Danny laugh, until the action makes Danny whimper at a new spike of pain. “What do we do now, Dan, huh?”

“Keep going,” Danny says, voice low, barely audible even to the two men on either side of him. “That’s all. We keep going.”

“I keep thinking I should’ve died back there, ten times over,” Ryan murmurs. “But every single time, you took the pain for me. I should’ve died-”

“Nah. You’re my little brother. I need you here.” Danny manages to keep the smile, then, and his blue eyes are warm. “If you feel so bad about it, sneak me some of that booze next time, yeah?”

"Dan, I am not going to help you mix IV drugs and alcohol-”

“Just leave it in a really easy-to-reach place and I’ll help myself.”

“Danny. No.”

“Danny yes.”

“Daniel Michaelson-”

“Ryan Niall Michaelson-”

Nate’s rumbling laughter interrupts them. It’s such a rare sound that both of them go immediately silent when they hear it, and Danny even tries to look over his shoulder, gritting his teeth through the ache to see the smile on Nate’s face. It’s slight, nearly private - a smile barely noticeable by anyone who isn’t looking for it.

But Danny is, and through the fog of the painkillers still coursing through his system, he sees it.

“What?” Ryan says. “What’re you laughing at?”

Nate lays a hand over the star he once carved into Danny’s skin, and moves to rest his nose, just lightly, against the warmth of Danny’s neck, breathing in the scent of him under the hospital-smell that surrounds them. “Nothing,” He says, and Danny shivers a little as his lips move against the curve of the D at the back of his neck. “I’m j-j-just... realizing I’m g-going to listen to you two do this for the r-rest of my life.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Ryan’s voice is dry.

“No,” Nate says, eyes closed. He can almost feel them in the cabin, like this, just the two of them on days Bram was gone. Lying in the bed wasting the whole morning being warm, just them together. Warm and safe. It feels like being in Danny’s apartment during their year and a half of freedom, the way sometimes when Nate couldn’t get out of bed Danny would just stay with him, holding him, until the pain inside of Nate had lessened enough to let him stand.

Now it’s his turn to hold Danny.

@tiddiroki @whump-it @bleeding-demon-teeth @finder-of-rings @whumpywhumper @endless-whump @18-toe-beans @pumpkinthefangirl @goneuntil @swordkallya @astrobly @evermetnotforgotten @whumpiary @card-games-and-pain @raigash @whump-tr0pes @orchidscript @wildfaewhump @doveotions @eatyourdamnpears

#daniel michaelson's story #hospital whump #recovery whump #recovering whumpee #referenced stabbing #referenced drug use #alcohol use #caretakers #caretaker and whumpee #whump #aftermath whump #the bad arc #injured whumpee #survivor's guilt tw

134 notes · View notes

clarythericebot · 3 years

Text

potential internal conflicts/character arcs for nhie s2

(based on the table read, news, and things that i personally just want to see :P)

- Devi learning to see others as ends of themselves instead of means to an end. No-brainer that this is going to be a theme next season (especially with that pros and cons list of her love interest), but I’m so excited to see how the show’s going to handle it. As I rambled about on this post, one of Devi’s biggest developments as a character was to stop treating Ben as an extension of herself (either as boxing him into the role of Antagonist/Nemesis in her own narrative or as a hateful mirror that points out personal traits she dislikes) and as an actual person and friend, and it’s that which sparks the small epiphany of her feelings towards him. From the table read and the stills, though, it sounds like she might be putting him in a new, albeit prettier box: Love Interest. The same box that she puts in Paxton, who at this point also does have genuine feelings for Devi. She’s looking at them as experiences, not people, and it’s all going to inevitably blow up in her face.

- The Devi/Fabiola/Eleanor friendship changing somehow. I had this impression that all season 1, the three of them have been hanging on to a dynamic that just doesn’t work anymore, in light of Devi’s grief, Eleanor’s abandonment, and Fabiola’s identity conflict. While Devi is definitely in the wrong of blatantly choosing a guy’s inconvenience over her best friend’s weightier problems, I think the larger problem here is that they don’t seem to know how to be there for each other for difficulties larger than to do with school, although the care and concern is there. It actually takes a third party to push them towards solving the overarching issues in their friendship, and even then only briefly. I’d really like to see this explored as a conflict shared between the three of them, instead of it being sidelined completely as Devi being selfish.

- The narrative that Devi will tell Princeton + the parts of herself she’s willing to take to college. (These are technically two conflicts, but I feel like it would make sense to intertwine them, especially since they’ve already been intertwined in the Ganesh Puja episode.) Devi has expressed her intention about leaving her Indian-ness completely and utterly behind her, as well as all the other embarrassing and painful parts of her identity (her grief and her insecurities). She’s come to terms with her father’s death to an extent, but she doesn’t seem to have yet accepted how his death has shaped and marked her. I think this is going to extend with how she deals with her Indian identity, and perhaps how she deals with her relationships.

- The double-standard between Kamala and Devi. On one level I understand Nalini probably treats them different because of her differing relationships with them—one’s her niece that only came to live with them and the other is her only child, her whole family. On the other hand, from the narration Devi has never really experienced her mother expressing such a blatant double standard in favor of Kamala before (about her secret boyfriend); she fully believed her cousin would get into trouble. It never did get addressed.

- In the first season, we experienced how Kamala’s western ideals influenced the part of her life still infused with tradition (her relations to other Indian people and her arranged marriage). The still of Kamala in a labcoat makes me hopeful for the inverse this season: how Kamala’s arranged marriage and traditional ideals affect her career as a scientist.

- Paxton engaging in the fact that he likes someone who is smarter than him (at least in a bookish sense). I’ve never seen this conflict delved into before—most writers just ignore it, focusing on what the love interests have in common (and don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to Paxton engaging Devi in this way, either by trying new things or revealing some hobbies or interests we haven’t made privy to). This insecurity is so close to his chest, though, and as much as Devi seems to make a point not to make him feel bad about it, it would be fascinating friction since Devi is very rightfully proud of her intellectual prowess. I imagine this will only be accentuated with knowing that his competition for Devi’s affections is someone razor-edge smart.

- Ben’s anger, and it being dealt with in constructive and destructive ways. I think one of the (numerous) things that I love about Ben and Devi is that they have different approaches to their internal and external conflicts. Devi runs away internally, refusing to face grief and sadness, while she delves head-first into external situations (e.g. asking Paxton to have sex with her, going to a Model UN trip with absolutely no prep and being willing to steal alcohol, talking to her friend’s estranged mom in other to get back into said friend’s good graces). Ben, on the other hand, has remarkable emotional intelligence underneath his high school immaturity (he can read Devi beyond her words actions, he doesn’t deny the isolation and loneliness that he feels, he is prepared to be vulnerable in certain situations) but he doesn’t do anything about it (he stops himself from telling his parents how abandoned he feels, he gives in to his girlfriend essentially using him as a prop, he is ushered into dining in his nemesis’ house by her concerned mother). Then Devi kisses him, and suddenly he’s willing to put his eggs in one basket. He stands up to his parents and demands that they spend family dinner together—because of her, he claims. He breaks up with his girlfriend, finally admitting that what they had wasn’t real, and earnestly informing Devi that he thinks what they have is. “I’m all in,” he tells her, thus crushing my heart. Because what’s strongly being implied, at least by the first part of the first episode, is that Devi’s either going to choose Paxton or neither of them. I imagine that Ben, used to being abandoned time and time again, will not react well to that. (This is expanded in this really awesome meta by @catty-words). There’s potential for the show to frame this as sexist entitlement, but I’d like to hope that the creators will be more compassionate to Ben’s conflict, as they have been in the past. It would genuinely be hurtful for someone you’ve displayed a lot of vulnerability to suddenly turn tail and say it didn’t mean as much to her. My guess is that he’ll lock into their nemesis status quo from before and lean into it hard, and it will likely hurt him badly. What I’d also like to see, though, (if only to assuage my own heartbreak) is him taking steps to deal with this a little more constructively, in addition to the inevitable self-destruction. I’d love to see him get back in touch with his ride-or-die middle school friends or even make new ones. In fact, I suspect that’s who the character of Aneesa is going to be, regardless of whether she becomes a contender for his love interest.

Aneesa is described as someone whose confidence and radiance will pose an immediate threat to Devi. I doubt that means she’ll be another academic rival, at least not completely; Devi already has Ben for that. As for romantic rivalry, it is likely not going to be Paxton Aneesa will be paired with, since it’ll only be a rehash of Devi’s insecurities of Paxton liking ‘hotter’ girls like Zoe and vying for his attention. (There’s a possibility she and Paxton will have history together and that threatens Devi even if she’s already in a relationship with him, but for me, that’s a less interesting choice than letting Devi focus on the challenges that will be inherent with Paxton being her boyfriend.) I think Aneesa will be another mirror for Devi—who she could have been if she pursued friendship and openness and maybe even a relationship with Ben, and that’s likely going to make Devi bitterly jealous. If this results in friendship and openness and maybe even a relationship for Ben (a deeper, more genuine one than his previous), I’m completely here for it, even if I am still hoping for a Bevi endgame.

(Low-key theorizing that Ben's smiling at Aneesa here, btw)

#clary scribbles #nhie meta #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #devi x ben #nalini vishwakumar #kamala nandiawada #paxton hall yoshida #never have i ever

65 notes · View notes

baku-writes · 3 years

Note

Wowwww I really loved the DABI and hawks childhood stories your a really good writer <3. I think I’m requesting to much so this can be my last request hawks x reader and of course we’re going add some angst where the reader went through breakups and tried to Unicode but of course keigo finds her in time because he became sus and knew something was wrong. Then she starts freaking out having a mental breakdown saying let me go and he just shouts I love you please don’t leave me baby bird fluff end

Hi!! Sorry this took a while, I had some problems with my mental health. But I hope this is what you wanted!!

Art by @unknwnmeans on Twitter!!

Angst to fluff 🐜💞

TW: break-up, cheating, mentions of domestic violence, mentions of alcohol consumption, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, brief mentions of self harm scars

Hawks x fem!reader

If no one wants you, why are you here?

Summary: every boyfriend you ever had turned out to be a cheater, scumbag or 'nice guy', and all of them left you with either physical or mental scars. After your most recent break up you can't find anything left to live for. If no one wants you, why are you here?

Each passing say grew colder within your little apartment. It was trashed. Shattered glass around you, torn up images of family photos, hole in the wall made by your boyfri- Ex boyfriend , empty wine bottles and clothes scattered carelessly across the floors.

Another bad break-up. Another scumbag.

He was the third one. Or was it the forth? You can't remember, so many men... no boys have screwed you over at this point, you can't even keep track. These weren't men, they were an pathetic excuse of a man. But what they did still left deep scars within your mental state.

He had been cheating the entire time, and you only found out after you found one if her pair of underwear under YOUR pillow in your shared bed. At first he denied it, however he knew his manipulative facade was up. And soon that 'guilt' turned into violence.

Yelling. Screaming. Breaking things. The two if you argued for hours. You begging him to leave. Him screaming at you for god knows what. He wouldn't stop screaming, and when you began screaming back that's when he did it. A punch right in your left eye. Fortunately for you, your healing quirk helped get rid of some of the swelling. Unfortunately, your quirk was based off of your mood: if you were happy you can heal more things but if you're sad (or have any other negative emotions) your healing power decreases.

So here you were. Currently sat on your wooden floor, slumped against your once shared-bed. A half-filled bottle of red while held steadily in your hand, as you drank your way to obliviousness again. That was until an idea popped in your mind.

Your balcony.

You lived on the 9th floor of the apartment, witha little balcony, where a main road ran straight underneath. One jump. One jump and every memory would be gone.

Every scar you made with those razors wouldn't hurt you anymore.

Every name you were called wouldn't drag you further into depression.

Every memory wouldn't make your bones ache with the undying need for affection.

It would just be peaceful. You will finally be free from the shackles placed around you. You won't have to face betrayal again. You won't ever get hurt again. It's the only way out.

But first, you will enjoy your final drink.

**HAWKS POV**

He knew what happened, when he spoke to your coworkers and they mentioned you hadn't shown up for work he knew something was up.

You were always hard working and motivated, your goals would never be swayed by anyone. And the fact you hadn't shown up to work was a big deal. The last time you missed work was when one of your asshole ex-boyfriends cheated...

Wait.... that asshole.

And that is how Hawks realised the situation. It was obvious. Your new boyfriend turned out go be another scumbag, he warned you about him. He knew he was a scumbag. For fuck sake, why did you go hear him?

Immediately, Hawks' protective mode kicked in and began flying towards your apartment complex. He knew your mental health was on the decline and you latched onto anyone, toxic or not, for validation. Fuck, he should of been there.

He should of been the one to take care of you, hold you, comfort you and love you. He always loved you, always wanted to be the one to give you joy. But he was too caught up with hero work. No. That's not it. He was too scared. Too scared you would say no.

As he neared your balcony he saw your figure stumble forward and open the door clumsily. He was nearly there, maybe you were just getting some fresh air? Then he could fly you higher up like the two of you used to do when you were younger.

And then he realised.

You were stepping onto the balcony fence.

*Y/N POV*

You weren't fully drunk, but drunk enough to be mostly oblivious. However, your drunken state didn't prevent you from remembering all the hurt, all the betrayal and the loneliness you have to face almost every day.

You began climbing the small fence, planning to take a look at the quick view as your final moments, to then let gravity pull you back down to the ground where you will then lie in peace.

That was until you heard Hawks...

"Y/N!!"

CRASH

Hawks' body crashed into yours, the force sending you backwards from the balcony fence into your apartment. You landed on your back, the oxygen leaving your body as you stared up at the ceiling.

Slowly you got up, as did Hawks. Silence surrounded the two of you as you both grasped at the situation. Hawks being relieved that he made it in time. But anger pulsated through your body.

"What the fuck Hawks?" You clenched your fists near your sides as you stared directly into his golden eyes.

Tears started steaming down your face. Fuck. This was supposed to be peaceful. Why did he show up? Why did your 'friend' have to ruin this for you?

"THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IT FOR ME! WHAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT TO CONTROL ME AND MY LIFE?"

Your throat felt hoarse from the yelling with your ex, your vocal cords cracking as tears poured down your face faster than rain.

Hawks stood there. Bewildered. He has never see you like this. He obviously knew how you were affected by scumbags in your life... but like this? Shit. He should of intervened sooner.

"Y/N-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON'T WANT YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU." You began walking forward, or at least trying to, your semi-drunken self stumbling every few steps.

"Y/N please calm down, fuck-"

You crashed forward into Hawks' arms and he sat the two of you down on the cold smooth floor. You huddled into his arms, finding an source of warmth. Any human affection. Craving it.

"Why does no one love me? Why am I even here?"

Silence....

Tears continued to pour down your face as you clung to Hawks' hero uniform. You expected him to laugh, push you away or maybe even belittle you. But what shocked you is how he tightly curled his arms around your body, pushing you further into him.

He rubbed his soothing gloved hands up and down your back as he attempted to calm down your tidal wave of tears.

"Y/N, I should of said this a long ass time ago. And I am really sorry my own.... fear... got in the way of it," steadily he took in a deep breath and exhaled, he had never done this before. His entire life he was sheltered and only allowed people to see his hero persona, never ever admitting his actual emotions to anyone. "Ypu are here for a reason, and I mean that. Remember when you gave me advice on how to keep my feathers soft? Or how to interact with people better?"

"Y/N, you mean so much to me and others. To your friends. To your family. And I should of said this a long time ago but... I love you. A lot. I have felt this way for a long time now but I guess I got... nervous? I didn't want to be rejected, and when I saw your with those other guys i got scared away."

Silence once again consumed the room.

Did he just... confess to you?

"H-haw-"

"Keigo. It's Keigo. "

A smile graced your face as the stream of tears ceased. The memories seemed to stop flooding back. And for the first time in a long time, you felt okay.

He carried you into your bathroom, getting you cleaned up. Later the two of you went back to his home, a place where Keigo used to feel lonely. So much space for one person.

You two ate, had a laugh, watched a movie and remembered the good times. Nothing else seemed to matter except the blossoming love between the two of you.

------------------------

AAAAAA THIS TOOK ME A WHILE SORRY. I had a few problems with my mental health so I took a break, but it is complete now!! I hope this is what you wanted, I struggled for motivation so I had to watch some sad youtube clips about relationships and listen to sad break up songs oop-

Again, my requests are open. I enjoy writing for MHA the most, but you can request other things. But if you do request something, please read the rules!!

99 notes · View notes

spencergourdgourdler · 3 years

Text

sleepovers (chapter 1) (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: Spencer and profiler!reader seem to be sleeping over at each others places a lot.

Next Chapter

cw: alcohol?? and none other than that

A/N: This is my first fic ever and I am nervous!! This will be a multiple part series and you will have it all: fluff, smut, and a lil angst. Hope you enjoy and please let me know if i need to add anything to the cw list!

word count: 2k :)

“Here you go, a glass of water for you and a glass of wine for me.” you said as you place his Lego Movie glass down on his desk. Spencer didn’t raise his eyes from the case file he has been reading but didn’t hold back on his comments.

“You really should drink more water Y/N,” which you replied, faking an offended voice. “Hey, I drink enough water, okay?”

“Funny you say that, because I actually have been keeping track of your water intake. You drank 1.26 litres of water today and with your daily intake of 2 cups of coffee, several cups of tea and well, alcohol I can guarantee you that isn’t enough.” Spencer said as he smirked proudly.

You rolled your eyes at his smug face. “How- ugh fine Spencer, I will drink more water,” you admitted . “After I drink this glass of wine.” It was your turn to smile now.

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to the case file he was studying while you finally got to relax and turn to your book on his nice sofa.

You have been doing this with him a lot. Hang out. Casually. In silence. You guys would come back from a case, you would carpool to yours or his place and then watch a movie, have dinner (or breakfast, depending on what time you guys land in D.C) or this. You would relax together, enjoying each other's company silently.

It started after a very hard case, not long before you started and the resident genius offered to take you home because he assessed that you would probably break down, said something along the lines of how dangerous it is to drive while crying. He wasn’t the best or the most experienced driver out there but he wanted to make sure you got home safely.

You were very shaken up that day, not having seen a brutal murder-suicide happen before your eyes in your life, so you took up his offer and followed after him to the parking lot. Both of you walked quietly to your car and when you got to it you just stood there.Not moving a muscle, just out of it. Spencer was sure he made the right choice to offer his help. Spencer slowly raised his hand and touched your arm slowly. “Y/N, the keys.” You were so zoned out that you flinched when he touched you.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry Y/N, it’s just me. Can you hand me the keys?” said Spencer with the softest voice he can make. “Oh, sorry,” You said with a dead tone then started scrambling through your bag. You couldnt find them. You were sure you were hearing the jingling sound they made as they rolled around your bag but you couldn't get your hands on them for the life of you. That’s when you started crying.

Spencer wasn’t the best when the case was touching people but he had to get you out of that parking lot and get you to the safety of your home. He shook his hands to remind himself that you were a clean person and he could touch you, then reached for your handbag. He slowly took it out of your hands and put it on the hood of your car.

“Spen-- Spencer- I’m- I’m really,” you tried to apologise in between you sobs.

“Y/N, shh, I’m right here and you have nothing to be sorry about,” That’s when he wrapped his arms around you and you started sobbing on his very nice sweater vest. He had put one hand on your back that he rubbed softly and one on your head that pushed into his chest like he was trying to get you to hide in there. He didn’t even realise how naturally affectionate he was, but you did.

The waterfalls that are your eyes were still running but you calmed down a little and the embarrassment of getting your mucus,ugh, on your very new colleague was starting to dawn on you.

“Spencer, I’m fine, let’s just go home, okay?” You managed to muster out while you squeezed yourself out of his embrace and tried to hide your face from him. You reached for your bag and once again out your hands into it looking for your keys. There they were, stuck underneath some papers that you threw in your bag.

Spencer stood there, doubting himself. Did he cross the line? Was hugging you unprofessional? Did he make you uncomfortable? He had once read a research about hugs calming down the sympathetic nervous system under distress so he tried to help you calm down a little. It wasn’t his intent to make you uncomfortable. Oh god, he thought to himself, now Y/N thinks I’m weird too.

He was pulled out of his little freak out by Y/N handing him the keys. He pushed his lips together in a really awkward smile and started stepping towards the driver’s side.

The drive was pretty weird. He drove too carefully and there was his colleague silently crying in the next seat to him. His mind was still swarming with the ideas of him doubting his choice of hugging Y/N, her quiet voice took him out of it. “Spencer, I can’t thank you enough. You really helped and I know I’m not very good with words but I really do appreciate this.”

Spencer was shocked. He wasn’t expecting this. He wasn't expecting a talk at all. So he stammered trying to answer her. “Uh, yeah- yeah, sure,”

While his conscious mind was going between doubting himself and oh shit, she’s crying, what do i do, his subconscious mind had led him to his house. He realized it when he was at the last traffic lights before home.

“Y/N, I’m afraid I drove all the way to my house,”

She raised her head from her hands on her knees slowly and looked around her, clueless. Spencer was quick to apologise. “I’ll turn around at the next U-turn and we’ll get to your place. What's your address?”

You didn’t want to bother him driving all this way and back, also you were starving and sleepy. “Spencer, if you don’t mind, can we go up to your place? I don’t really wanna bother you with driving all the way to mine, also I am so tired and I assume you are too?”

Y/N kept surprising Spencer tonight. “Yeah, yeah that’s fine- Yeah, we can order takeout too, yeah, yes.” She almost giggled at his nervousness.

He pulled up to the parking spot of his apartment complex and you two silently walked up the stairs to his apartment. He welcomed you in, “So, this is my place, ugh so sorry this is very messy,”

Spencer was very skittish about touching people and letting people into his place. He did both of them with you that night and he was weirdly okay with it.

“It’s perfectly fine Reid, hell, looks a lot neater than mine honestly.” You smiled while you awkwardly stood in the entrance. Spencer had already taken his coat off and was walking into the depths of his house. He kinda yelled from across the house, “Please come in Y/N, I will be there in just a second to take your coat. What do you wanna eat? I know this Indian place that makes great chicken tendoori that delivers.” His voice was getting closer and closer while he got back to his living room.

“Spencer, I am a vegetarian.�� you said while he took your coat and hung it over a chair.

“Oh, sorry, I somehow didn’t know, but they should have vegetarian items on the menu, let me go find it for you. Do you want a drink? I have water, coffee, all kinds of tea you can ask for annnd,” He was scrambling through his kitchen cabinets now. “Wine, yeah, what can i get you?”

“Wine would be nice,” you kind of yelled from the living room. You did not want to yell but you also didn't want to follow him around or go looking for him, invading his place.

He came after a few minutes, a glass of water and a menu, you assumed, in one hand and your glass of wine in the other.

“Here you go, a glass of water for me and a glass of wine for you, are you sure you don’t want a glass of water?” He put the classes on the coffee table and handed you the menu. “While I’m not completely sold on the idea of you drinking before dinner, what do you wanna get Y/N? I can also call the pizza place that’s close and we can get all the toppings you’d like.” When you thought he stopped talking and opened your mouth, he started to ramble again. “I’m sorry I know I said we could get all the toppings you wanted but I have issues with grouped foods and can we maybe stick to the basics and get a mushroom pizza?” He was embarrassed but you smiled so widely that his embarrassment washed away and his chest filled with relief.

“Yeah, Reid, I’d like that.”

Thus began your sleepovers. That night he had given you a spare toothbrush, some of his clothes, clean towels for your shower in the morning, and his bed. Genius took the couch that night, “That’s the least I can do,” he said, even after all he had done for you. You would much rather have him beside you but you would never admit to that and he would never agree to it anyways.

Second time you two had a sleepover, it was Reid who was struggling and you offered your sweet but lonely home to him. This kept going on between you two, there were rarely nights where you slept at your place alone.

Spencer called you from his grocery store run one day, asked you about your shampoo brand. And would you rather use a vanilla or lavender body wash.

You texted him asking about his after-shave and razor brand he uses after he slept over at your place and had to go to work with a scruff. You felt bad for people making fun of him and his “big boy beard”.

Spencer was really glad, while he didn’t have a lot of affectionate relationships like this, he didn’t mind having you around at all. You were really glad, you didn’t go to bed in a lonely house, that you made really good friends with Dr. Spencer Reid.

You finished your wine while flipping pages on your book and your eyelids started to feel heavy. “Spencer, I’m really sleepy,”

He had moved to the end of the couch with you, you were lying down but your legs were barely close to him.

“I’ll be done in just a second and I’ll let u sleep Y/N,”

You were feeling the wine and you felt courageous that night. You carefully got up to your knees and crawled towards him on the sofa. When you got to him you slightly nudged his arm to let you in and he lifted his arm to embrace you. “Oh, hi,” he said. “I thought you were sleepy.” Was there a smile in his voice or were you just hearing things? “Yeah, and I am using my favorite pillow.” Stupid wine talk.

He chuckled slightly to my words. “Okay, let’s go to bed, I was almost done anyways. I can finish it up tomorrow.” Now, you felt bad for interrupting his work. Stupid wine.

“Oh, no, no, nooo! I can wait for you to finish, really, look! My eyes are all open,” You opened your eyes wide while you looked up at him in his arms. He chuckled again. Oh, that chuckle. Stupid wine.

“You look a little flushed.” Spencer said while dragging his hand over your flaming cheeks softly. “Yeah, wine does that.” No, Spencer does that, Y/N, don’t lie to yourself.

His eyes were looking into yours so tenderly that you debated if this was a dream or not. Then something happened that raised your suspicions of dreaming.

He slowly put his lips on yours. Oh, stupid wine.

Next Chapter

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #sleepovers #sleepovers chapther 1

101 notes · View notes

whumpingcrow · 3 years

Text

Pt. 7 "Hospital Bed"

CW: injury description, drug/alcohol mention (explicit), food mention, noncon/dubcon (explicit), aftermath of character death, strangling, character death, hospital setting, blood mention, bondage, emotional whump, gaslighting, August in general, tourettes/ticcing (let me know if I missed anything!)

"I don't know how you stayed sane," Tyson said, hands tight around his coffee mug as if letting go would make him fall apart. The drink inside had long turned cold and probably didn't taste good anymore, but Tyson couldn't will himself to lift the cup for long enough to drink. "I mean, it's only been a week and I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Leo sighed at the heaviness to Tyson's voice, nodding his head. "I didn't stay sane. It broke me down every single day that he was gone. It's still breaking me, but at least he's here." He paused, realizing that might not be very encouraging. "But it'll be ok. We'll find him, we'll have him home and safe in no time."

"I really hope you're right." He checked his phone nervously, disappointed but not surprised to see no updates, no one had called him. It was tiring, to keep checking and double checking and never having any good news.

He couldn't stop thinking of the picture he'd been spent at the beginning of the week, the one of Elias with his eyes closed, blood streaming down his face. He was pale and tired looking, and Tyson couldn't help but wonder if he was dead in the picture. His perfect Elias, who was confident and unapologetically himself, who was so amused by everything, who could simply sit with Tyson for hours on end to talk and watch him draw and listen to his music. He couldn't imagine how August must be breaking all of that if he was still alive. He remembered how different Allen was when he finally came back, how he was just a shell for the longest time, and even now he wasn't completely right again. Elias was so young and vulnerable, he wouldn't come out of it the same, there was no chance.

"Am I bad person because I sort of hope he's dead?" He whispered. The words were bitter in his mouth, he hated himself for saying them out loud. "I just...I don't want him to experience all this pain. It's gonna fuck him up for life, just like Allen. What if neither of them get better?"

"Don't say that, Tyson. He's gonna make it out of this and they will heal." He patted Tyson's shoulder to comfort him, frowning at how tense he was. He stood up, working his hands into his shoulders to try and get him to relax.

"What are you doing?" He grumbled.

"I just remember how much I wished someone would comfort me. I'm trying to comfort you." He smiled a little as Tyson relaxed against him a fraction. "There you go. It's all gonna be ok, Ty."

-----------------------

Elias found some sick type of adoration for his life now. The speed of it all, the way everything was blurred together by music and colors and sex and violence. August had introduced him to so much: he gave him different drugs that each felt like spiritual awakenings in their own respects, put him through levels of pain that he didn't think were possible to feel, intoxicated, hazy sex that was so good it felt otherworldly. He tried not to think about the fear or the punishment anymore, tried to convince himself that it was just his nature now, his way of life. As long as he was fucked up, he felt perfect. As long as he was high, he wasn't thinking of the blown up face of that man.

"Elias," August was calling in a sing sing voice, "Eli, are you in there?"

Elias looked up at him, grinning at the look on his face. He had forgotten that he had a bowl of watermelon sitting in front of him until August pushed it toward him.

"You doing ok? You begged for this fruit and you haven't even touched it." He rubbed his back as he spoke, his palm was warm as it dragged up and down Elias's spine. His lungs tightened ever so slightly when he brushed over the bruise taking up a third of his back, the one he got when August had tossed him angrily against the shelf when he tried to leave.

Elias laughed, nodding his head. "I forgot," he giggled. He picked up a piece, looking at the juice dripping down the tips of his fingers. He was suddenly enthralled, the red was such a beautiful shade and the sunshine made it glimmer. He remembered watching August cutting up the fruit inside, watched his hand guide the knife easily through the melon, the red juice staining his hands. He realized that usually he was the fruit, and he momentarily understood the appeal of hurting him August had. He heard August laughing again, and he smiled up at him.

"You're too cute," August kissed him, holding him close. "My little angel."

Elias dropped the watermelon and crawled on top of August in his sun chair, pressing himself close. He looked into his eyes, laughing at huge his pupils were. His were probably the same. "You make me feel whole," he whispered, "like I'm all put together." He didn't really believe himself when he said it, he knew it was just because he was high and August was there and paying attention to him, and he knew August liked it when he said things like that.

August smirked, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Yeah, you didn't need Tyson after all, did you?"

"Fuck Tyson," Elias ticced, laughing after. "No, I didn't. Just you." Just you, all the drugs you keep giving me, and a week straight of you beating the shit out of me. But just you.

August nodded, pulling Elias towards him with his fingers wrapped loosely around his neck, kissing him again. He smiled as Elias pressed his hips against him, already knowing where the kiss was probably going, eager to get it started already. August had broken him, finally, and made him dependent on physical touch to assure himself he was doing ok. Even when it was painful, he was always offering himself up because being used painfully was far better than being punished.

"Aren't you eager?" He teased, running his palm down his chest. "God I just wanna lay you down in front of me and make you scream."

"Oh, please, August."

That was another thing he'd taught him, the begging, even when it was for pain. Anything to be touched, looked at, praised, he would beg for anything that August insinuated he wanted, just to please him, just to make everything easier.

He hadn't lied when he said he wanted to make Elias scream, but it wasn't in the way he had expected. It turns out that being tied to the bed and having a tiny razor slice long, stinging slices into his skin was not as enjoyable as August had made it seem. But he was writhing and shrieking in pain the entire time, which prompted August to coo: "you sound so beautiful, my bunny," and kiss around the blood to turn the cries into soft whines.

"P...please, August," he gasped, tipping his head back in exhaustion. "It hurts so bad, it's tiring me out." He convulsed as August cut into him again, this time slowly down the side of his ribs, drawing out a slow, building scream of agony, muffled slightly as he bit down hard.

"Oh come on baby, don't try to quiet yourself. Really tell me how much it hurts." He sliced into the other side of his ribs, grinning at the loud, breathless cry that Elias let out. "There you go, perfect."

Elias collapsed again, his lungs quaking as he tried to breath through the pain. "Ha...god, please stop. Please, I'm feeling sick." August smiled, kissing the insides of Elias's thighs until his breathing was less ragged and he hummed in relief. "Thank you, oh thank you."

August pulled off of him, reaching for his phone next to him. "You are just angelic." He started to film him, smiling as he squinted at the flash. "So beautiful my love." Elias offered an exasperated smile, closing his eyes. He flinched as August started to drag the razor from his collar bone and down his sternum, and then began to scream again. He grabbed at the two belts that were securing him to the bed and writhed underneath August. He could feel his blood streaming down his torso, and when he got up the courage to glance up at the carnage, he felt weak and light headed. The screaming turned into panicked sobs, and he jerked harder, with more need, causing the razor to press deeper into him.

"August ple-ease!" He sobbed, trying to hide his face against the pillow. "Please it hurts! No more!"

"Alright, alright," he sighed, setting down his phone and the razor. The phone was still recording, but August doubted that Elias realized, in his state. He crawled on top of Elias, pressing his own bare torso against Elias's bloody one, making him whimper at the stinging it caused.

"Ow...August that...ow..."

August grinned, kissing his neck softly. "I just want to be close to you, sweetheart." He spoke against his skin, then hummed as he pushed into Elias.

"Oh god," Elias sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. He was scared all over again, because of the blood and the way August spoke when he was on top of him. "F-fuck..."

"Ah, that's my good boy," August moaned, tugging at his hair. "So pretty for me."

"Please, not so ha-hard," he begged, pulling at the restraints, "please baby, please."

August grinned, doing completely the opposite and adoring the way his exasperated whimpers turned to pained, confused moans, especially when he closed his teeth around his throat.

---------------------

"Oh god," Tyson cried, staring at the gruesome video playing on his phone in horror. "What the fuck! He's hurting him!" Leo ripped his phone away from him, instructing for Allen to get him out.

Leo couldn't help but keep the video playing, watching with a deep concern etched into his face. It was like watching a car accident unfold, or a funeral procession; he wanted to look away because what he was looking at was dreadful, but he almost felt like he had to watch it all unfold. It was horrendous, the amount of blood on them both, the way Elias pulled desperately at the belts wrapped tightly around his wrists, the way he screamed in pure, white hot, pain. He was so broken, so far gone. Allen was broken like this, just not so soon. Not after a week.

-----------------------------

When August was done, he untied Elias, pulling him into his arms. They were both covered in his blood, and Elias was shaking as he pressed his hand against August's chest, frowning when it came away red. "Jesus," he whimpered, "that's a lot of blood."

"You're ok," August assured him, kissing his tears away, "just a bunch of little scratches. We'll get you cleaned up as soon as you calm down, ok?"

Elias took a deep breath, trying to sooth himself. He was starting to get used to this, trying to relax after everything happened. He collapsed against August's chest, closing his eyes and counting to ten in his head. He was ok, he had survived, it was just a bit of pain.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I feel so much better."

"Yeah? That's a good boy." He looked at him, grinning at his exhausted, darkened eyes. "So beautiful."

Elias smiled back at him, leaning closer to him. "You're so perfect to me," he kissed his shoulder, but his voice was shaking as he spoke. He was still scared, despite how desperately he wanted to pretend to not be. "Can we...can we go get a drink?" He whispered.

August nodded, helping him up to his feet. Elias staggered a little, he was used to it at this point, the not being able to walk part of the pain. This time it was spiced up with the added dizziness of blood loss, and he clutched onto August's arm to steady himself.

---------------------------------

The days began to blur together, and Elias seemed to be on the brink of death. He was pale and covered in injuries, dangerously thin because of all the drugs making him lose his appetite. He couldn't feel it, of course, unless he was sobering up, so he just never sobered up. He wasn't afraid of dying anymore, all the drugs he'd done made him feel at peace with his fate. Besides, he was so tired out, so exhausted from August that death seemed welcoming. He started using more, started egging August on during his punishments, hoping that one day August would go overboard and it would all finally be over. If he wasn't going to be saved, he was going to escape another way.

Now, August was observing Elias cut his coke into huge, thick lines, sighing a little. He'd been doing this too often, pushing himself to do more than both of them knew he could endure. He'd been drinking until he was on the bathroom floor, vomiting what little he had inside of him, he'd do line after line until he broke down in a panic, everything August offered him he'd take and then triple it, and every time it ended in a mess.

"That's too much, sweetheart. Pace yourself." His voice was warning, stern in a way that wasn't immediately threatening.

Elias laughed at him halfheartedly, giving a dismissive shake of his head. "You're too much," he teased, looking up at him with a cocky smile, "I can handle it," and he did the line. And then he did another, and then he collapsed into August's chest with a fit of laughter and sighs.

"I told you not to speak to me like that," August grumbled, at which Elias sat up and turned to look at him. There was a small glint of fear in his eyes when August's voice hardened. It only lasted a second, though, before he bit his lip to stop the amused smile that was spreading across his face. "You'd do well to check yourself."

Elias laughed, running a hand through Augusts hair, like he couldn't be bothered to take him seriously. August glared openly at him, waiting for him to apologize, to stop holding eye contact with him as if they were equals.

"You'd do well to fuck yourself." He retorted. His voice was airy and light, he really wasn't scared anymore. August would fix that, he could make him scared.

With one quick movement, he grabbed Elias's hair and slammed his face down on the table, pulling him upright to see the blood already spreading across his face from his nose. After the initial shock, Elias ignored the tears streaming down his cheeks and forced out a watery laugh. "Ouch," he chuckled weakly, "that hurts a little, you should be careful."

August pulled him to his feet, which he was surprised to find no resistance, and threw him hard to the floor, watching as he hit the corner of the wall. "Shut the fuck up, Eli. Before I make you shut the fuck up."

Elias groaned on the floor, trying to push himself upright. He only got as far as his knees before he had to lean against the wall for support. It took him a few seconds to catch his breath, having it knocked out of him when he hit the wall. "Why are you so grumpy?" He coughed out. "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

August grabbed him and picked him up, choking him hard as he held him against the wall. "You think you're so cute, huh? Well you're not, you're fucking stupid. You're a fucking freak. That's why Tyson didn't want you, cause who would want an idiot like you?"

Elias pulled at his arms desperately, then reminded himself that this was what he wanted, to push him far enough to kill him. He dropped his hands down to his sides, trying to will himself to not struggle. The world would swallow him up soon and he would give himself up to the black. He could finally rest, he would be free. The longer August strangled him, the more disoriented he became, his thoughts stopped making sense, they were confusing and panicked, and he could see black splotches across his vision. He saw August's angry face, he felt relieved he wouldn't ever see it again, although he did hate that it would be the last thing he did see. Ever. So instead, he directed his vision to the widow behind him, where he could see the pool and the sun, and relaxed a little again. The sun would be setting soon, the day would end and so would Elias. As his vision was quickly sinking to darkness, he felt a blanket of warmth and comfort wrap around him.

-------------------------------

"Elias, there you are!" Elias's eyes flew open, and Tyson was there in front of him. He was wearing all black, his tie red. He looked so beautiful, so happy to see Elias. "I've been waiting for you!"

Elias smiled brightly at him, a weight lifted off his soul that he was unaware he was carrying. He wasn't tired anymore, he felt completely new. When he looked down, he was saw he was standing in green grass, his shoes and pants white. "I'm...I'm dead, right?" He asked.

Tyson smiled sadly at him, nodding solemnly. Elias thought maybe he would be scared when he was sure he was really dead, but all he felt was a peaceful indifference. So that was it, he got what he wanted, he was away from August. He didn't understand why Tyson was here, but it was nice to see a familiar face.

"I know you did this on purpose, but it's not time for you yet."

"What? No, I want this. I'm so tired, Ty."

"I know you are. But it's not over for you. You're gonna be ok."

Elias began to cry, utter defeat and exhaustion dragging his body down, and he was sobbing so hard his chest hurt. Each cry was a jolt to his lungs, and then a sharp sting in his entire chest, and then he was staring at the ceiling in a bright white room. He gasped in a deep breath, then a few more. He heard the faint sound of people talking around him, but it was all muddled by a ringing in his ears.

He looked around to see a swarm of people in blue and red moving around him, holding cold things to him, shining lights in his eyes. "Where...what happened?" He rasped out. One of the people stabbed something into his arm, then leaned closer to him.

"You're in the hospital, we had to resuscitate you." One of the others announced something to the room, "stable", and the rest of them relaxed and slowly dispersed. "Can you tell me your name?"

"My name... it's Elias." He couldn't speak loudly, it only came out in hoarse whimpers. The shock of it wore off and his body was starting to hurt again, his neck was aching and his entire body was throbbing dully. He remembered all at once what happened, and he could hear the heart rate monitor he was apparently hooked up to start beeping rapidly at the anxiety the memory brought up.

"Ok, Elias. Do you know what day it is?"

Elias frowned at her, shaking his head. How long had he been with August? It could've been years, could have been days, hard to tell how much time was passing when he was always high.

"That's ok," she assured him. "You were listed as a missing person, did you know that?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah...yeah I was missing."

"Right. We went ahead and notified your emergency contact, the one that filed the missing report. Tyson. Do you know who that is?"

His jaw dropped in surprise, he gaped up at her. Tyson didn't file him as missing, he was the one who got rid of him in the first place. She had to be lying, Tyson didn't care about him. "Is he...Is he gonna come here?" He whispered.

"He should be here any minute. I'm going to be monitoring you, I'll be standing right outside. There's also a police officer right out here, you're safe now."

Elias's eyes welled up with tears, he was overwhelmed suddenly. He was safe, it was over now. And Tyson was coming. He couldn't believe, didn't even know if he wanted to see him, but it was Tyson and he was going to come see him. He curled up into a small ball on the bed, crying softly to himself as he waited.

16 notes · View notes

wouldpollyapprove · 4 years

Text

No Whore

Summary: The Garrison’s new barmaid is known as nothing but a whore due to her relationship with none other than Thomas Shelby. Knowing that she is more than that, Y/n will do anything to prove her worth and as her brother has just arrived in town, the opportunity seems to be upon her.

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: This is my first fic on this account and I’m so excited to have it done. It will have multiple parts and it’s not edited too well, so sorry if it’s rough.

Part Two / Part Three

Masterlist

The Garrison was bursting with noise, men filing through the door as their shifts had just ended. It was a Friday night, the start of a short break for many of the men. Those that had to work through the weekend were looking forward to their own days off. But instead of spoil everyone else break, they too found themselves in the bar looking for a strong drink.

Y/n wasn’t sure how many orders she had filled, numb by now to the chaos that the evening had created. She wiped the sweat from her brow, the heat in the building rising with the growing number of bodies. She filled a glass full of whiskey and handed it to the man standing in front of the bar, he barely nodded at her before he was replaced by another. This went on for what seemed like hours.

“If I ever get a break,” she mumbled to herself as she grabbed a bucket of beer and made her rounds around the packed bar.

She hadn’t been working at the Garrison long, it was her first job since moving to Birmingham and was harder than she believed it to be. But Y/n wouldn’t allow hard work to keep her from anything. No matter how many fights she had to break up and broken glasses she had to clean off the floor, the pub would have to catch fire for her to leave.

It was better than where she had once been and that was good enough for her to stay.

She wiped her sweaty, beer covered hands on her apron as she placed the bucket on the floor behind the bar. Everyone was happy for now.

The doors swung open, three men entering behind them. They all wore well-tailored suits with charcoal waistcoats. Atop their heads sat peaky caps, and under the right angle of light, a razor blade glistened. The leader of the pack walked up to the bar while the two behind him disappeared behind the walls of the private room.

“Three glasses of whiskey, Y/n,” Tommy asked with a blank face.

Y/n nodded, watching as the man disappeared into the private room as well, the door shutting behind him.

There was no smile on his face like there was the last time he had seen her. There was no love in his eyes. There was nothing held for her. But, Y/n knew it was all but an act, one that he did a great job of keeping up.

Y/n and Tommy hadn’t been seeing each other long, just long enough to cause a fuss.

Their night together had started off lovely like it always did. They had fallen asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Y/n felt like she had finally found someone to love her, but that soon changed once morning came around. There was yelling and anger and, once she had walked out the door, there were tears. Y/n wanted to be more than what his aunt thought of her, what the people that past her on the street believed. She wanted to be more than their perceived beliefs, but that couldn’t be when the word ‘Whore,’ rang through her ears.

Y/n was no whore.

But when asked if she was, Tommy gave no answer that satisfied.

He never did, it seemed.

She sighed and grabbed the bottle off the shelve, along with three glass from the counter. Y/n balanced the glasses on her hand, the bottle tucked between her elbow and her side as she opened the door. Upon entering the small room, the conversation that was once alive all but died. Tommy sat quietly, his eyes following her movements as Y/n passed out the glasses, filling them with auburn liquid.

“Thank you, Y/n,” Arthur said as she curtly nodded her head.

The barmaid gave a small smile before taking her leave. She shut the door, blowing hot air out her nose, how she hated feeling like a servant.

Y/n knew her place and knew that she was no more than a public servant, serving alcohol to the men of Birmingham, but she also knew that she was above that of a maid or a whore. Around the Shelby men, Y/n had lost her rank. She was no longer a woman of high standing, but a tolerable creature that they could dispose of at any minute. She was a whore in their eyes. Tommy’s whore. As much as she hated to admit it, the only one that allowed such a title was herself.

But Y/n tried not to dwell on it too much. She knew her worth, no matter how much she wanted others to as well.

Hours passed and the pub slowly emptied. Y/n had finished wiping down the bar when the Shelby brothers exited their private room. Arthur was going on about some business he wanted to get into. He was always trying to explore new avenues no matter how likely they were to succeed. Tommy brushed passed him as he shrugged his coat on.

“Y/n, you won’t be needed tomorrow,” his words came between tight lips.

She raised her gaze, “Why is that?”

“The Garrison will be closed tomorrow.”

Y/n nodded. There was no need for him to elaborate more, she already had a clue as to why the pub would be closed.

“Goodnight, Y/n,” he said before he turned for the door.

“Goodnight,” she called back as the three men walked through the bar doors and out into the night.

*~~*~~*

The night air was harsh against her skin as Y/n walked home. She had finished closing up the pub a little later than she had expected, but it was hard with a cloudy mind. She wanted to fix things with Tommy. Apologize for her harsh words and for not allowing him to get a word in.

She could have gone to him then, walk to his house instead of her own, but she didn’t. In the back of her mind, Y/n knew, that Tommy was just as at fault as she was. He allowed his family to see her as a whore. He allowed the world to brand her with something that was hard to scrub off. No matter how hard she were to try, no amount of hot water or soap would scrub her free of that word. It would leave her bleeding from her failed attempts.

The walk was quiet, with many in their homes, but Y/n kept looking over her shoulder. The feeling of another presence was hard to hide, no matter how far her thoughts wandered. Y/n wanted to believe that her mind was playing games with her. That’s all it was. A stupid game.

But as she got closer to her house, the game became a game no more.

A taller figure emerged from her doorway, leaving her stuck in place.

“Y/n,” he said, shadows covering his features, but Y/n didn’t need light to know who it was.

“Richard, how lovely to see you,” she seethed.

A laugh erupted from the man. “Come now, Y/n, do be polite. I come in peace.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Y/n rolled her eyes and walked around him to unlock her door. With the door open, she turned to her unwanted visitor. “Having someone follow me does not show peace, I hope you know.”

Richard shrugged and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “Had to make sure you made it home safely.”

“There are other ways to do that besides having someone stalking me.”

He nodded, an unlit cigarette between his lips. “Perhaps.”

“Why are you here?” Y/n finally asked.

“I came to ask if you wanted to do business with me.”

Y/n’s breath hitched at the statement. Richard was supposed to be in New York, working his way up the ranks of an unknown gang. He was supposed to keep his crimes and his life to himself. He had sworn to their mother that he would never come back, not when he had betrayed them all those years ago. But there he was, right before her eyes.

Her brother stood before her.

“Why do you want to do business with me?”

“Because you are the only one I can trust in this city before I find stable footing,” he told her.

Y/n raised a brow, it was never that simple when it came to her brother. “That’s all you want is loyalty?”

It was odd, to see the man who once was nothing but a child to her. Though Richard was older than her, he was her playmate, her best friend. They used to be as thick as thieves when they were children, now, almost enemies.

But to see Richard now was to see a new man. He stood tall in the little light that the street offered. His cheekbones were sharp and he stood like he owned the place. In a fedora, wearing nothing but a simple pair of slacks and a white dress shirt, he was no longer the little boy that allowed street kids to beat on him. He was a man who knew what he wanted. Y/n couldn’t help but admire that.

He shook his head and grabbed a match. “No, no, no. I need loyalty and…. A spy.”

She rolled her eyes and entered the house, her brother right behind her. Of course, he wanted a spy. He could never do anything on his own. A simple task such as doing the dish had even been hard for him to accomplish alone as a child.

“I think you’ll do a fine job, you know.” Richard made himself comfortable at her table, enough to place his feet upon it.

“No, I won’t because I won’t do it.”

Her brother narrowed his eyes, had it been two years before, he knew that his sister would have no problem accepting the job. She was always good at slipping in and out of places undetected. No one ever knew she was there until it was too late. Richard knew that if anyone could help him build an empire and find allies, it would be her.

But he thought about it for a minute, letting them fall into silence as Y/n slipped off her coat and lit the few oil lamps she had in the house. “It will have nothing to do with the man you work for.”

Y/n snorted and reached across the table to take the cigarette from him. Placed between her painted lips, she breathed it in. “How am I to believe that?”

He shrugged. “You’re not. Blind faith, that’s all you’ve got to go on.” He took his cigarette back. “Think on it.”

She turned away from him, instead, looking out the window at the black night. Perhaps, working for her brother wouldn’t be that bad, it would be better than working against him. And if he kept away from the Peaky Blinders, then there would be no problems. Right?

Y/n knew, though, that she needed to accept her brother’s offer, not because he was blood, but because it would be proving a point. She didn’t need to prove to Richard or to herself that she was more than what Thomas Shelby had made her out to be. She was a force to be reckoned with and she was willing to do anything to prove that to the people who doubted her.

She was Y/n Y/l/n. She was no whore.

#the peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagines #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagines #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shleby imagines #tommy shelby #imagine #imagines

434 notes · View notes

theloserarmy · 3 years

Text

I wrote a shitty little poem about being in law school and also being ambiguously neurodivergent and not knowing what to do about it. It is cringe and I am aware of that.

Tw for mentions of self harm

I wouldn’t recommend razor blades as a study aide

But they damn do they help me concentrate

I have a sinking felling dropping addy at a party would end with me cleaning my room

And part of me wants to try, but where would I even start, and what would I do with the answers I find

So with ice water veins and tears in my eyes

I start to lay out my supplies

Bandaids gauze and alcohol and a surprisingly sharp kitchen knife

Once all of it is over, all wrapped up and clean

Then I can write a paper that’s been due for a week

And maybe for a moment then I can relax before I see the glitter on floor of the glass

Because I dropped the ball missed every deadline

Now they’re shattered all around on the floor

And there’s too much to pick up and there’s no way to leave

I’m terrified of what’s right outside of the door

So I guess it’s death by a thousand paper cuts

I’ll do half the reading and just hope that I know enough

And a B+ isn’t bad but damn does it feel like

I used to be smart and now I’m struggling just to stay alive

And nothing comes easy but am I even trying?

If this is my best well that’s goddamn depressing.

But keeping this up is fucking exhausting

So I guess I’ll keep sleeping through class

And wait for this shit to come back

To reap what I sow and be left on my ass

Because you can’t go anywhere with half a degree

what’s the difference in one year and fucking three

Maybe when you get there you’ll know what you want to be

At least I should be able to afford therapy

If I could make a phone call god forbid send an email then maybe I could ask for help

And maybe knowing why I have to be like this would let me not want to kill myself

#sh tw #tw self harm

6 notes · View notes

raiseyourcups · 3 years

Text

Cabur

Chapter Fourteen

Pairing: Din Djarin x OFC (AIli Verdella) Warnings: canon-typical violence, cursing, sexual-references (I think), Word Count: 5k (and we’re still not finished with the episode) Also on AO3

Masterlist

Summary: Surprise, the job goes sideways as so many of Mando’s ideas do. Only this time there's a countdown involved making it more pressing than ever for them to get the job done as quickly as possible. Too bad the crew decides it would be the best idea to cross Mando and Aili...

“All right, we’re on the clock,” Mayfeld said once everyone was on the prison ship. “The second we engage those droids, they’re gonna be all over us.”

“I know the drill,” Mando said shortly.

“Bio trackers activated for all but one but I’ve got eyes otherwise,” Zero said over Mayfeld’s comlink and everyone took a moment to look at each other in confusion.

“That would be me, sorry,” Aili said, shrugging when everyone looked at her. The Empire hadn’t wanted their prized secret to be traceable by anyone but them so they had used a different method to track them for when they were sent out on missions. One that Aili had been quick to remove from herself and the girls she was able to get out before destroying the base. It was one of the reasons the New Republic hadn’t been able to find her yet. She and everyone she got out were effectively ghosts just like the Razor Crest.

“How do you not-”

“Are we breaking someone out of prison or talking?” Aili questioned, looking at Mayfeld with a raised brow.

“All right, let’s just get going,” Mayfeld said before he took off for the hallway. Mando was right behind him, followed by Aili, with Xi’an and Burg in back of her. They went down several turns, more than half the prisoners coming up to look at them through the bars at the top of their cells. Aili kept her eyes forward, ignoring them all and she almost shifted into the walk she had used to use when on the base.

“I don’t like this,” Mando finally said.

“You were always paranoid.”

“Is that true, Mando? Were you always paranoid?” Mayfeld mocked before getting scared by a prisoner banging against his cell door.

“There’s usually a reason for being paranoid, like staging a prison break on a ship manned by droids,” Aili said. She wasn’t enjoying this job and it wasn’t just because of the shitty company that she didn’t trust for anything.

“You saying you’re paranoid too?”

“No because I have a plan for everything that could go wrong,” Aili made sure to stare at Mayfeld in the eye as she spoke, just in case he had figured out who she was. She was also hoping that the way she had taken down Burg in under a minute in a tight space was enough to convince them to not cross her and Mando. She smirked a little when he flinched under her gaze and looked away quickly.

“Approaching control room. Make a left at the next juncture.” Zero’s voice broke the silent staring contest between Aili and Mayfeld. They hugged the wall, Mayfeld at the front as he peeked around the corner. He gestured for Mando to move to the next small alcove who did as quickly and quietly as he could, gesturing for Mayfeld to move as well. When nothing came down the hallway, they started walking down the center when a small droid came down the hall.

Everyone stopped and stared at the droid, unsure what kind it was. Aili couldn’t see it very well but it wasn’t shooting at them yet so she assumed it was a--

“It’s just a little mousey,” Burg said, chuckling at the way everyone had been prepared to shoot or throw a knife at it. Repair droid, if they didn’t alarm it, it shouldn’t call for the guard droids. Burg leaned down, pulling a blaster from a holster as he did. “Come here little mousey.”

“Burg, come on, Burg.” Mayfeld tried to get the Devaronian to leave the small droid alone. They were wasting time and it was a repair droid.

“Hey, leave it alone,” Aili said in a hushed tone when Burg kept going after the retreating droid. Burg growled and stood to his full height before shooting the droid. Aili threw her hands up and immediately moved for cover, dragging Mando along with her.

“What?” Mando whispered to her while still letting her pull him along. He stood behind her as if that would protect her from what was going to be coming their way soon.

“He just fucked us, is what.” Aili said, getting her blaster ready.

“Burg, what are you doing?” Mayfeld questioned.

“What?” Burg shrugged like the giant idiot he was and that was when the security droids came from the other end of the hallway.

“Intruder alert. Open fire.” The lead droid said and the four droids started firing on them. Mando and Aili were already behind cover and they started shooting at the droids to give the others time to make it behind cover as well. They didn’t do any damage, the droids own blaster shots blocking theirs.

“We’re too exposed here!” Xi’an exclaimed.

“If they get a signal out, it’s not gonna matter!” Mayfeld tried to shoot the droid closest to his side again but it did nothing. A blaster arm extended from his back and started shooting so he could stay in cover. “Mando, let’s go! You’re supposed to be somethin’ special.”

Aili turned slightly to look up at Mando and was taken aback to see empty space. She hadn’t even heard him leave nor had he told her. “What the kriff?”

She growled and peeked over the edge of the wall to see how close the droids were and her brow furrowed when she saw Mando come out from behind them. He took out his vibroblade and rushed forward, sliding down on his side to slice one of the droid's feet which sent it to the ground. He got up, kicking another droid down before shooting the third from up close.

The droid he had cut shot him in the back but the shot glanced off the beskar and Mando turned to shoot it instead. One of the remaining droids pushed Mando against a cell door, aiming a punch at his helmet but he moved to the side in time for it to completely miss him, hitting the cell instead. He ducked several more punches before he pulled out the vibroblade that Aili hadn’t even noticed in the droid’s torso and he threw it into another droid’s head.

Aili would never admit to anyone who asked but she was impressed...and a little turned on. She stood back and watched as Mando took down the droids solo, mouth open a little as she stared. She hadn't really been able to see him actually fight since joining him on the Razor Crest. Sorgan didn't count since it had been so dark and he had been giving Cara cover fire. And obviously he hadn’t even gotten close to Fennec Shand before she took her down. The longer she watched the worse the growing feeling in her chest got.

One of the droids knocked him down but he released his whipcord and pulled the droid in. It knocked against the other one as he did and they both went down. He pulled on the cord and the droid’s head came off rolling past Xi’an and Mayfeld. The last two droids came towards him, getting a few shots off before Mando turned on his flamethrower and used his whipcord again to pull one down, take it’s blaster and hit the last droid over the head, followed by slamming the blaster into its knee joint. Once it was down, he shot a hole clean through the droid's head.

“Fuck,” Aili whispered to herself right as Mando took down the last droid. She didn't have time for this, they had a job to do. But she did have a bottle of whiskey on the Crest that she would be hitting after this. Nothing drowned away inappropriate feelings like alcohol did.

“Make sure you clean up your mess,” Mayfeld said as he walked past Mando. Burg made sure to knock against his shoulder as he went past making Aili roll her eyes once again. She walked over to Mando, stepping over a few droid pieces as she did.

“You did not hear this from me but, um, good job.” She didn’t wait to see if Mando said anything before she took off after the rest of the crew. Maybe not seeing him in front of her would help the now inappropriate thoughts she was having go away.

“It seems your presence has been detected. Redirecting security alert away from your position.” Zero said over the comms.

Seems the useless droid was done being utterly useless now. They turned one last corner and met a closed door. “Z, open the door!”

“But I am detecting an organic lifeform.”

“All right, all right, open the door anyway!”

The door opened and they all rushed in only to stop in their tracks. “Stop! Just stop right there.” It was a New Republic soldier and he was holding a blaster towards them. Aili slowly put her blaster away and held her hands up in a placating manner, lightly nudging Mando to do the same. He didn’t do as she wanted and she let out an annoyed sigh.

“You put the blasters away right now,” he said, hand and voice shaking. Mayfeld started to mock the man’s uniform, Xi’an and Burg laughing at his lame jokes.

“There were only supposed to be droids on this ship,” Mando said. Aili side stepped around Mando so she could catch the soldier’s eyes.

“Hey, we’re just looking for someone and then we’ll be gone. Won’t even know we were here,” Aili said gently. She kept her hands up so he could see she was unarmed and she hoped that would calm him down enough. She wasn’t paying attention to Mayfeld getting the cell location or the way that everyone still had their weapons out. She only cared about making sure this man stayed alive. This hadn’t been part of the job description. He looked at her, eyes still wide in fear but he did lower his blaster just a little.

And then Mayfeld had to screw it up by turning around. “And now for our well-dressed friend.”

Aili closed her eyes for half a second when the soldier pulled out a tracking beacon. “Please don’t do that.”

“Put it down now!” Mayfeld shouted, pulling a blaster out and aiming it at the soldier. Aili pulled out her own blaster and aimed it at Mayfeld, Mando doing the same.

“Easy. Nobody has to get hurt here, just calm down,” Mando said as if that was going to calm either Mayfeld or the soldier down.

“What is that thing?” Burg asked.

“A tracking beacon, honestly you call yourself a merc,” Aili muttered the last part to herself once again wondering how she had gotten herself into this situation.

“He presses that thing and we’re all done. A New Republic attack squad will hone in on the signal and blow us all to hell,” Mayfeld hissed out, finger moving closer to the trigger before pausing.

“Are you serious?” Xi’an questioned.

“Yes, so maybe everyone here needs to calm down and put the blasters away!” Aili exclaimed, despite the fact that she still had hers on Mayfeld. She didn’t trust him to not shoot the soldier and she subtly tried to move between the two men when Mando’s t-visor turned to her and he slowly shook his head. She pursed her lips in annoyance but stayed where she was for now.

“You didn’t think we needed to know that tiny little detail?” Xi’an aimed the question at Mayfeld.

“I didn’t think we’d get to this point,” Mayfeld said, his voice taking on an angrier tone and Aili hoped that he just kept his finger off the trigger for a little while longer.

“Yet here we are,” Xi’an said, continuing to egg him on.

“Are you questioning my managerial skills, Xi’an?” Mayfeld asked, turning away from the soldier which gave Aili the opening she needed to get between the soldier and Mayfeld, blaster still aiming at Mayfeld as she moved. Thankfully the soldier didn’t take that as a threat and he didn’t press down on the button. She ignored the way that Mando whispered her name to get her to stop.

“Look, listen to me. You do not have to do this, okay? I want you to get out of this alive,” Aili said, slowly putting her blaster away again and gesturing for Mando to do the same. This time he listened to her and did as she asked. “Everyone is going to put their weapons away, right?”

“Are you crazy?” Mayfeld asked, turning back to face her, his blaster still out and now pointed at her. He had it aimed mostly towards her chest so she wasn’t too worried about getting shot just yet since it would hopefully glance off her beskar cuirass.

“Are you?” Aili asked Mayfeld before turning back to the soldier, he looked like a kid to her, “What’s your name?”

He stuttered a few times before he could answer her clearly, “It’s Davan.”

“Davan. That’s a nice name, right Mando?” She turned her head slightly to look at the Mandalorian with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and a eyes a little wider than normal. She knew they had to de-escalate the situation now, she was the only one who was close enough to see the beacon in his hands. If anyone that was threatening him so much as got too close to him...

“Yeah,” Mando said a little awkwardly. “Listen, Davan, we’re not here for you. We’re just here for a prisoner. You let us get him, you can walk away with your life.”

“No he won’t.” Mayfeld pulled his blaster out again which made the soldier aim his blaster at Mayfeld as well as lift the beacon.

“Yes he will,” Aili spun to face Mayfeld, standing side by side with the soldier now. “Or I will take you down just as fast as I took down Burg only you won’t be getting up.”

Mayfeld stared at Aili for a second before aiming his blaster at her instead. It would be too close for even her beskar to help her from having some kind of injury. Mando brought his own blaster back up and pointed it at Mayfeld who brought out his second one to aim at Mando.

“You realize what you’re going to bring down on us?” Mando asked, voice low with anger. No one could see the look in his eyes, the rage at the sight of Mayfeld pointing his blaster at Aili. It brought back the anger he had felt on Tatooine when facing down Toro and he didn’t know where Aili was. This was worse, seeing a blaster actually pointed at her.

“You think I care about that?”

“We’re not killing anybody. You understand?” Mando wasn’t actually asking Mayfeld, he was telling him now even if Mayfeld didn’t know it.

“Get that blaster outta my face, Mando, and call off your loth-cat before I shoot you both,” Mayfeld growled out.

“I can’t do that,” Mando replied shortly. He barely held back from pulling the trigger right that second. Aili let out a huff under her breath and pulled her blaster out again, aiming it towards Mayfeld’s stomach. It was his mistake not wearing any armor or any kind.

“Get that blaster outta my face Mando!” Mayfeld shouted, not even noticing that Aili now had her own on him.

“Hey don’t even think about it,” Mando said when Burg pulled his own blaster on him.

Aili was about to just shoot Mayfeld when Xi’an threw her knife and killed the soldier, the blade grazing against Aili’s arm before it hit it’s target. “You idiot!” Aili shouted, kneeling down to see if the soldier was dead or alive. She cursed when she checked for a pulse and found none.

“What, princess? Sad a New Republic soldier is dead?” Xi’an questioned, a smirk on her face as she watched Aili check for a pulse. She wouldn’t find one, Xi’an knew where to aim to kill in one shot.

“No you moron, he already had the beacon activated with a dead man’s switch so now we have fuck knows how long to get the hell off this ship or we’re all dead,” Aili explained, pointing to where the beacon had fallen when the soldier had.

They all looked down at the beacon that was now blinking red. “Was that thing blinking before?” Mayfeld asked, looking at everyone other than Aili in the room.

Aili growled under her breath and picked up the tracking beacon, hoping that they could make it back to the ship and toss it out in the middle of space before they jumped into hyperspace. That would throw the New Republic off their trail. Mando came over to her and silently gestured for her to hold her arm out. She looked at him in confusion until he pointed to her arm.

“Kriff,” she said under her breath. She hadn’t even noticed that Xi’an had cut her too when she tossed the knife. It had gone clean through her sleeve too. She held her arm out for Mando to put a bacta patch on the cut, thankfully it wasn’t a big cut or very deep but it was still bleeding. Neither of them said anything while Mando placed the patch, and neither of them commented on the way Aili took in a breath when his fingers paused while making sure it was secure.

“Zero to Mayfeld, Zero to Mayfeld.”

“What?” Mayfeld said harshly into his comm.

“I've detected a New Republic distress signal homing in on your location, you have approximately twenty minutes.”

“We only need five,” Xi’an said as if she hadn’t just royally screwed them. She all but skipped out of the room, Mayfeld and Burg rushing after her. Aili grabbed Mando by the arm before he could leave as well.

“They’re going to screw us over, I know they are. Take this.” She shoved the beacon in his hands before running in the direction the others had gone in. She could hear him run after her and they caught up with the others quickly. There was a hover security droid and Aili winced knowing those weren’t easy to take down.

Burg rushed forward and took down the one hover security droid with no problem, tossing it into a second one and just smiling as they both exploded. They kept going down the hallway until Mayfeld stopped at the cell they were looking for. He got Zero to work on opening it.

“You have fifteen minutes remaining.”

“Open it up!”

Despite Zero’s slight protest, he still opened up the cell to reveal the associate of the crew that had been arrested. It was another Twi’lek and Aili watched as Mando stepped forward a little to get a better look. “Qin.”

The Twi’lek let out a sort of dark chuckle as he stood up. “Funny, the man who left me behind is now my savior.”

Aili didn’t like this, didn’t like how close Mando was to the open cell, didn’t like the way that Burg had tried and failed to subtly shift closer to her. She took another glance at Qin, taking in all of his scars and she shifted her feet as quietly as she could.

“Mando,” Qin said, looking the Mandalorian up and down with a smirk on his face. Mando didn’t say anything in reply which didn’t surprise Aili.

“Imagine how much money we’ll get,” Xi’an suddenly giggled out.

“Rescuing your brother from here?” Aili questioned, raising an eyebrow. She had quickly seen the similarities between Xi’an and this Qin guy.

“No, when we sell you two out,” Mayfeld stated.

Aili ducked under Burg’s arms before he could grab her and did a quick roll away from someone’s blaster shot. She heard Mando let out a grunt followed by the sound of the cell shutting again. Kriff. They locked him in there and now she was on her own. Good thing she had memorized all of the turns they had made before then. She didn’t spare a glance at anyone before she shot up to her feet and took off.

She found an alcove that would keep her hidden from them just in time. She heard several pounding footsteps come to a stop nearby and she stood as still as possible. “Find her! We’re not leaving until she’s in that cell too! She's worth more than Mando!” That was Mayfeld and now Aili knew he had figured her out back before they even made it to the ship.

Aili waited until she heard everyone go in a different direction before pulling her comlink out of her pocket. “Mando, do you read me?” She kept her voice hushed but loud enough that he should be able to hear her clearly in his helmet comm.

There was a long silence that she hoped was just him trying to remember where he put the button to operate his own comlink.

“I read you." From the other end of the comlink, Mando let out a small sigh knowing that they hadn't grabbed Aili yet. He didn’t know if they would even try to get her in the same cell as him or just shove her into the nearest one. He didn’t even want to think about the other prisoners locked up on the ship.

“Can you get out of that cell or should I head back that way?”

“I’m already out. Get back to the ship, I can handle them.”

“Copy that,” Aili didn’t wait another moment, running out of the alcove and retracing her steps as best as she could. The problem was that she could hear the others ahead of her and she silently cursed, hiding behind a wall. They were arguing about Mando getting out and Xi’an shouted at Mayfeld that they should’ve just ended the two of them sooner.

She let out a breath when they were suddenly moving again, further away from her but now she heard hallways getting blocked off. “Kriffin’ hell, Mando. I’m not even back to the ship yet.” The lights suddenly shut off, the backup generator kicking on soon after and bathing everything in red light. She partially hoped that the others had made it through but then she heard Xi’an and Burg both let out shouts. She silently cursed to herself knowing that they would be on high alert, she glanced around before she looked up and smirked.

“Zero! We need a path.” Xi’an paused but got no reply causing her and Burg to yell out again. Aili smiled to herself, Mando must have done something to mess with their comlinks meaning they were flying blind now. She doubted any of them had even bothered to remember which way was which, figuring they could rely on the droid.

It didn’t take long for her to run back down the hall and find a spot where she could climb up into the vents. She had just gotten her feet up when Xi’an and Burg started walking down the hallway.

“You get Mando, I’ll find the little loth-cat,” Xi’an said, pulling out one of her many knives. Aili rolled her eyes knowing that Mando would be able to handle Burg so she’d just have to take on Xi’an. And then it would only be Mayfeld and Qin left but if they were smart, they wouldn’t attempt to fight them.

Aili followed after Xi’an from above, waiting for her moment when she heard Mando and Burg fighting. She raised an eyebrow because how Mando didn’t get the jump on Burg was a mystery to her when everything was obviously so perfectly lined up to do so. She saw Xi’an flip her knife into a different hold and knew she didn’t have any more time to waste.

“Hey! Looking for me?” Aili shouted, smiling down at Xi’an when she looked up in surprise. Aili didn’t wait for Xi’an to respond before she took off down the hallway, away from Mando and back towards where she had left herself an opening. She could hear Xi’an following after her like the idiot she clearly was and she was quick to swing herself back down, boots hitting Xi’an square in the chest and sending her to the floor.

Aili landed on her feet and waited for Xi’an to get back up, pulling out a small vibroblade of her own. “That was a mistake, loth-cat. I was going to let you live,” Xi’an said as she finally stood up straight.

“Funny, I didn’t get that impression,” Aili stated, flipping her blade around to hold it in a reverse grip. She chose to keep talking in an attempt to throw Xi’an off and she knew exactly what to say to piss her off the most even if it wasn’t necessarily true. “In fact, you seem to want me dead, why is that? Is it because Mando has someone not crazy in his bed now?”

Xi’an let out a snarl before rushing towards Aili, throwing a punch that Aili easily blocked with her forearm. She threw her own punch with the hand not holding the blade, landing a hit which seemed to just make the Twi’lek even more angry as the punch made her bring a hand up to her jaw. She tried to kick out at Aili who blocked it easily before blocking the following punch as well before she backhanded Xi’an who looked at her in shocked anger.

There was another kick aimed at Aili who used her height to her advantage as she ducked under and away from Xi’an without trouble. Aili grabbed at Xi’an’s wrist, spinning around before throwing her elbow into the Twi’lek’s face, turning back around to pull her arm out before bringing a knee up into Xi’an’s chest. Xi’an tried to throw another punch at Aili’s but she simply used her grip on Xi’an’s arm to come behind her, kneeing her in the back and sending her forward.

Aili rushed forward, a slightly stupid move on her part, as Xi’an held her arm out to hit Aili in the throat and sent her to the ground. Aili rolled over and got to her feet just in time to block a kick from Xi’an, aiming her own at the Twi’lek but she moved to the side and hit Aili on the back with enough force to send her into a wall.

Aili turned to throw a punch at Xi’an but winced when the Twi’lek grabbed her arm tightly and started to twist it. Aili tried to throw her other arm out to hit Xi’an but missed when the Twi’lek ducked under and pushed her into the wall behind them, her arm across Aili’s throat and a knife too close to cutting her.

“You think you’re so special,” Xi’an snarled out. “Because you’re a Dragon? Because you’ve got Mando teaching you? I’m gonna kill you and then I’m going to get back to the ship and get that little green thing.”

“You think he really has anything to teach me that I don’t already know?” Aili questioned before shoving Xi’an off of her, a hand gripping one of theTwi’lek’s hands. She brought her elbow down into Xi’an’s face before she spun and did a partial cartwheel which led to Xi’an being forced into a flip of her own. The only difference was that Aili landed on her feet while Xi’an ended up on her back. Aili barely waited for Xi’an to get back up before she kicked the Twi’lek straight in the chest and sent her further down the hallway groaning in pain. That was what she got for not wearing any kind of armor.

Aili walked over to where Xi’an was just picking herself up from the floor. The Twi’lek was baring her teeth as she pulled out a second knife. “I’m going to make you wish you had stayed away from Mando.”

“Oh believe me, I already was,” Aili replied as she blocked both of Xi’an’s knives, gripping her wrists and twisting until the Twi’lek had no choice but to drop her weapons. “See now you’ve pissed me off, I don’t give a kriff what you try to do to me but you threaten the kid?”

She pushed Xi’an away just enough to let her turn the Twi’lek away from her, giving Aili the chance to wrap her arm around Xi’an’s neck. She ignored the way Xi’an tried to claw at her arm, her nails barely doing any damage. Aili was barely paying any attention to that or her surroundings anyway.

“Aili, stop!” Mando shouted as he turned the corner right before Xi’an lost consciousness. She had stopped fighting a few seconds ago but was still hanging on to being aware.

“Why?”

“I’d like to avoid anyone else dying,” Mando explained. The New Republic soldier was the only death he wanted on the ship and even that was more than he had wanted on this job.

“Fine, where do you want her?” AIli asked, loosening the arm around Xi’an’s neck before she grabbed the Twi’lek’s arms instead to keep her from grabbing any weapons.

"I'll take her."

Aili pursed her lips but pushed Xi’an into Mando’s arms anyway, watching as he turned to take her away from the hallway.

Xi’an let out a crazed giggle, not able to stop herself from making one last comment, “Seems you haven’t changed one bit, Mando. Still prefer an animal to a human in bed.”

Aili’s head snapped up and she barely restrained herself from lunging at the Twi’lek again. Her words made an old memory come to the front of Aili's mind and she felt the heat of anger on her cheeks. Mando knocked his blaster across Xi’an’s head, knocking her out before she could say anything else. She barely noticed as Mando disappeared around the corner and she was still staring at a spot on the wall when he got back.

"We need to get back to the ship," Mando said as soon as he got back to where he had left Aili. He was a little surprised that she hadn't so much as moved a muscle. He placed a hand on her shoulder but pulled it away when she flinched away more violently than she ever had before.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin x original character #din djarin imagine #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x oc

18 notes · View notes