theloserarmy

[theloserarmy]

I started a new prescription today and the lady asked if I had any questions for the pharmacist so I asked if I could drink while on this (daily medication for the foreseeable future) and they looked at me like I was insane. I assumed this would be a normal question. I have been wanting to have a nice frozen margarita with my friends for a while now. I know that alcohol is falling out of favor but the response was genuinely jarring.

#I’d I had to guess they may have thought I was underage. #I’m 24 but twice this year someone had thought i was in high school. #so that might be it

[theloserarmy]

Mental health is so funny esp when you have had traumatic experiences bcuz I’m thinking back to when I first started feeling truly suicidal and how trapped I felt and I want to say it was the depression but objectively I was never going to make my parents happy and would be punished with violence for their displeasure and they’re was nothing I could do and nowhere I could go. Like I don’t agree with myself because my life has gotten so much better and I have experienced so much joy, but like yeah it did feel like hell and the only way out was through my fears were correct

[theloserarmy]

Okay this is purely my read on the situation. I also love sluts and that’s going to become clear.

My understanding of Edwin’s love life is as follows.

1. Súper in love with Charles. Will likely never love anyone as much as he loves Charles. He appreciates the relationship he has but perhaps correctly thinks that they will never be in a romantic/sexual relationship. Previously he didn’t understand his devotion as romantic/sexual, just a funny feeling friendship.

2. The cat king. I understood that interaction to be something of a sexual awakening. Maybe not the first hint he was gay, but opening the floodgates a bit. Edwin at least initially doesn’t like the car king, but was very sexually attracted to him. But still he is 1. Very devoted to Charles and 2. Doesn’t like the cat king/doesn’t want to let him win despite the attraction. In the end I think he dislikes him less, some of the initial attraction has cooled down and has kind of blended into a light romantic interest.

3. I don’t think month ever had a chance. He didn’t have the immediate attraction the cat king had and he was competing in the same category as Charles and never had even a chance to win. I think he was grateful to have a friend, flattered by the attention, and perhaps used the interactions to kind of see how he felt being with a boy with the possibility of romance, but was never really interested in Monty as a potential partner.

My personal ship thing would be a kind of queer platonic eternal partnership with Charles and Edwin with both of them also pursuing romantic relationships with other people. Preferably the cat king, because I do love sluts and he is a very slutty man.

#dead boy detective agency spoiler #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives spoiler #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #cat king

[theloserarmy]

Im low key obsessed with Edwin Payne now. Like his name is Pain it turns out his superpower is being a wet cat that can be tortured forever, he is the quintessential tragic twink who is in love with a straight boy but also he pulls. Like constantly the sluts LOVE his little Victorian ass.

#dead boy detectives spoiler #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detective agency spoiler

[theloserarmy]

Obsessed with the fact that Edwin had no game and every gay man wanted him so bad

[theloserarmy]

My favorite thing about the show was how much pull Edwin had everyone wanted him BAD

[theloserarmy]

Love is supposed to be transformative and yet I love so much and I remain the same

[theloserarmy]

I know it’s the patriarchy and I’m not proud of it but my body is so Much easier to live in then my arms are shaved

[theloserarmy]

I am not a Swiftie but “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” is such a good line. Like that is the exact wistful looks out the bus window feeling of coming to terms with a slightly disfuncional middle class upbringing. She has once again made a perfect paper cutout of her audience lol.

[theloserarmy]

I realized recently that I do exhibit pick me behavior though not on purpose. I hate talking to men and have a healed time interacting with them so I will be overly polite and avoid arguing at all costs while I am much better at having conversations with women so I behave like a normal person and will argue my points and try and correct them. I would never let a woman get herself in trouble or make a mistake that could be avoided without saying something but It never feels worth it arguing with a man. And like being more argumentative with women and ‘nicer’ to men is classic pick me behavior I fear.

[theloserarmy]

Would loooooove to live in a world where old men who like me and are trying to be nice to me didn’t talk to me like I’m a particularly stupid child.

[theloserarmy]

Quarter pounder? I hardly know her/

Quarter pounder? Sir I’ll have you know I only pound dimes 😎

#i haven’t been to McDonald’s in like a year at this point but I had to get this off my chest

[theloserarmy]

Early on in seeing my current doctor I was like “hey I think I Lightning be autistic” and she was like “I disagree” and I accepted that but the next time she saw me it was a very stressful time and I was not able to cope as well as usual so she did watch me rock and tap and sob for 20 minutes and I wonder what went through her mind. Anyways I’m gonna see her again soon because I have been having anxiety spikes that leave me feeling very scared and unsafe completely divorced from reason or circumstance so let’s hope that goes well

[theloserarmy]

Do you ever forget that you have a gender to most people….. meaning that random people at the grocery store see me as a woman and not just a little internet guy

[theloserarmy]

This is going to sound hateful and that’s because it is, but I think one thing people underestimate about why recipes don’t get written down is how fucking annoying it is when somebody who 1. Does not help with cooking and 2. Never plans on using the recipe themself asks you to write down your recipe. It’s really frustrating because either they don’t trust you to remember your own recipes (I have been straight up told that someone wants me to write my recipe down so I make it correctly the next time 🙃) or they want to be able to have someone else make the food you make for them when you’re unavailable, which can sometimes be sweet, but can also feel devaluing like your worth is in the labor you provide. It’s frustrating when someone is asking you to perform extra labor when you have just done that and especially when they would know the recipe if they helped you cook 😭

#there’s also the hurdles we know about #how much of that? I don’t know just the right amount I guess

[theloserarmy]

our discord unanimously agreed that ratatouille is a mecha and I cried laughing after making this joke

[theloserarmy]

I didnt realize there was so much sex in bridgerton