#growing up religious

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

the way the other angels treat aziraphale reminds me of how people at church would treat obviously queer kids who didn’t know they were queer yet. especially in the flashback scenes and in s1. they all see he’s different and treat him like shit but in that really vague passive aggressive christian way y’know

#does this make any sense #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #religious trauma #exvangelical #muriel #gomens #gomens 2 #ex evangelical #aziracrow #queer #growing up religious #ineffable husbands #metatron #my posts

[rachelleacomics]

#ex christian #ex religious #socialism #apparently #growing up religious #christianity #leaving religion #wtf #woke up thinking about this

[connieaaa]

I'd like to find every person in my life who told me "you'll miss being a kid", and "being a kid is the best time of your life, enjoy it" and tell them all off. No, I do not miss being a kid. Being a kid sucks.

#cptsdsurvivor #dysfunctional family #dysfunctional parents #bad parenting #narcissist parents #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #actually ace #oldest child #child neglect #bad parents #parental abuse #parentification #parentified child #generational curses #covert narcissism #maternal narcissism #childhood medical neglect #religious homeschooling #growing up religious #religious parents #child rights

[starchilddante]

You know, a aspect of my religious trauma that I have only recently begun to understand is the genuine anger that I feel at those who join a restrictive religious group later in life or return to the practices.

I wasn't consciously aware of this until recently, but I think I understand it now. My inner child is angry that someone would seek out the hell we so desperately struggled to escape from.

I didn't mean to be angry. I know there are good religious groups out there. Just another interesting aspect of religious trauma.

#religious trauma #religion #growing up religious #healing #childhood trauma #inner child

[ohbelladonnamoon]

I Grew up going to sunday school, youth groups and vbs (I begged and cried not to be sent to vbs every year). I went to a culty christian school for eight years (I was forced to go in middle school), I did high school online because my family didn’t want me at a public school for fear that I’d “get in with the wrong crowd”. The only boy I was ever really in love with his parents wouldn’t let us date and I lost most of my friends when I started doing school online because “I was “becoming too worldly”. So yeah now as an adult I don’t know where I fit into this world or how to live because I never really experienced life and now that I can I have so many issues I don’t know how.

#religious trauma #growing up religious #god loves you but not enough to save you #bpd vent #kayla.interrupted

[you-get-me-closer-to-god]

Sometimes I think I’m imagining my religious trauma but then I remember I got yelled at for writing “Xmas” instead of “Christmas” because it was crossing out Christ and that’s exactly what Satan wants, subsequently making the holiday about Satan

#yes I grew up with Kenneth Copland how did you know? #religious trauma #growing up in the church #growing up religious

[v333rbatim]

thinking about that one ethel cain ask about religion and queerness and coming to terms with the notion that it was never my queerness vs religion and that it was my queerness vs organised religion. it was my identity vs a congregation of individuals who used the guise of christianity to condemn my existence. my existence isn’t something which can be diminished by something bigger than myself otherwise i wouldn’t exist this way. idk i have more thoughts but i’ve never been good at articulating my thoughts. maybe one day i’ll talk about it more. maybe one day i’ll let myself believe again.

#girlblogger #spirituality #ethel cain #religion #religious trauma #growing up religious #journal entry #diary entry #on religion #on queerness #religious queer #queer religion #if it’s meant to be it will be #spiritual awakening #philosophy #hanicore

[olskuvallanpoe]

I Am Eve’s Child

I’m not a woman, but I’m still Eve’s child

In a way that a cis man could never be.

For just like how Eve reached out for knowledge and freedom,

I always find myself reaching,

Grasping,

Clawing at air.

And when I finally take the fruit and eat,

There’s always a man who tells me that I’ve done something wrong.

#nonbinary writer #original writing #original poetry #writing #original poem #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #adam and eve #biblical #feminism #feminine beauty #eve #afab nonbinary #growing up afab #growing up religious #religious trauma

[monomorphilogical]

A moldable body

God hides in a small corner of my room

where I've washed off the water of the womb

bare beneath a nightgown — 

fracture of a tooth when I bite down

and it multiplies under the weight

like the endlessness of a vein as I wait

following pathways of decay I carry within

family bloodline spiders underneath my skin

my hands a chain link of my father

mere definition of their fragmented bother

written down on a torn regrettable note

and it's lodged in my throat

curvature of my mouth like a missed uncle

unreachable for a young girl

in dreams I'll never be the same as me

shame in the bend of a knee

in my sleep I've severed the limb in two

the tissued scar tried and true

sharpened nails on the exposed bone

the unfamiliarity of my own

childless at the table beside the narrowed eye

watched and covered by a multitude lie

— I've barely known the elder

where there's no love found to be tender

they say to grow it takes a village

I'm covering my corner with all their spillage

and the vein will close as an old wound opens

like an angel going through the motions

watching from my shoulder

the scarred tissue never feels older

God never granted me that sword to swing

and I became a horrid thing — 

no weapon to yield and no weapon to steal

made a body destined to heal

the length of my fingers digging into flesh

brought upon the blood still so fresh

broken bones sharpened to a knife

held only to protect a life — 

be it seeping from mine or my neighbor

bending under family labour

lonely creature left beneath this decay

hardened eyes watching the rot wash away

molded by God's pressing thumb

I feel how my nerve endings have gone numb

until all my fight's revealed — 

my God given right hand to yield

through the sharpened teeth and leather skin

where once my softness would have been

in the set of a jaw and the slit of familiar eyes

the angel inside my body the same size

I am still who I was before

in the light crawling underside the door

#lonely nights where you feel bad about your childhood #the usual #but you grew up religious so! #writeblr #writing #original writing #writers of tumblr #poetry #poem #spilled ink #poems on tumblr #poetry by renae #renae #grotesque #religion #growing up religious #childhood

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

aziraphale saying “oh…ffffffFUCKK.” like a repressed 13 year old religious girl was honestly the highlight of season 1 for me personally.

#he and Crowley are both literally me when it comes to religious trauma #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #religious trauma #growing up religious #gomens #gomens 2 #exvangelical

[annie-sae]

Nothing like going home for the holidays after you have lost connection with the faith you once grew but without your parents having knowledge of you leaving; because peace will be lost once you tell them you have left their faith.

#spilled thoughts #food for thought #religious trauma #ex religious #religious guilt #growing up religious

[connieaaa]

Christian parents: Well, if all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?

Also Christian Parents: Just as Abraham was told to sacrifice his only son as an act of faith, God often asks us to do things we don't want to do and you just need to be okay with that.

#dysfunctional family #ex christian #religious trauma #bad parenting #ex fundamentalist #ex evangelical #apostate #apostacy #spirtual abuse #growing up religious

[starchilddante]

Does anyone else just feel an overwhelming sense of frantic fear and sadness that you'll never get back the time you lost?

I lost so many years to mental illness and religious trauma. What could I have done, what dreams could I have achieved if I hadn't had all those horrible experiences?

I wanna make a difference in the world, but sometimes I truly believe that I'm nothing at all. I'll just be some mediocre person who does mediocre jobs and then dies. I just feel such an overwhelming sense of jealousy for people who got the chance to do things, to chase their dreams. I feel like I've lost so much.

I guess that's what makes it so hard to follow younger celebrities or writers. I see people having such amazing experiences, and I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like without the trauma and mental illness that followed it. I know it's not too late, but even now I'm still inhibited by mental illness in a lot of ways. And it really makes me hate myself.

I feel very alone.

#vent post #vent #tw depressing stuff #thoughts #growing up religious #mental health

[immunity2004]

if i believe you by the 1975 is the religious trauma song. like

“if i believe you, will that it make it stop? if i told you i need you, is that what you want?”

oh man chills. it cuts right to the core of it. i used to feel so angry with god all the time. i remember pleading, asking to not be angry with me for wanting to leave the church. i was so bitter over the life i had been given. i spat out “is that what you want” i was young and afraid that of what my life would become if i left it all behind. i wanted to believe but i just couldn’t live like that anymore.

this was my song to god

#i used to cry to this song in middle school #and my early high school days #i was really going through it #ex mormon #any ex mormons in the club?! #religion #religious trauma #growing up religious #the 1975 #music #if i believe you #it’s all good now #i’m actually really chill with god #we’re pretty tight these days #organized religion just wasn’t for me #especially mormonism #exmo #exmormon

[fishskeleton]

I've been thinking about religion recently. Maybe it’s more correct to say: it’s been rare for me to spend a day this last year not thinking about religion. Why are religious people so corrupt? Always berating and rebuking. Chiding and reproving. Sentencing good people to hell.

I thought Christ was the judge?

The most devious lie is crafted almost wholly by truth.

Inconsistent hypocrisy masked by the glory of God? You cannot hide your sin. And most of you don’t even see it. Is faith blind or blinding? Is your behavior forgiving or obsessive? Do you follow the character of Christ or the carnal part of the duality of man?

I once learned that Mormons are less harsh than Catholics. Catholics believe in HELL. But now I see that there are scrupulous Mormons and hopeful Catholics. My dad taught me that people who leave their congregation are lazy. I have found that many are seeking truth.

—fishskeleton

#religion #religious trauma #religious ocd #scrupulosity #christianity #good people #cruel world #going to hell #heavenly #people #discussion #religious discussion #catholic #growing up religious #afterlife #afterdeath

[v333rbatim]

i feel so directionless right now. sometimes i’ll think back to my childhood and yearn for god to guide me back onto my path. but i’m not a child anymore. i don’t know if i can hold onto faith again. my arms are outstretched but what if i don’t feel a thing.

#girlblogger #growing up religious #religious imagery #religious trauma #girlhood #godhood #what i wouldn’t give to be in church this sunday #spirituality #spiritual journey #girlblog #god loves you but not enough to save you #spiritual healing #childhood #nostalgia #hanicore