You’ve made me sick, that babygirl you raised? That you constantly complain about - “we’ve given her the world!! What else could you possibly want or need!!” - yet whenever she tries to explain to you all about what you’ve done wrong you don’t listen?
Shes gone, shes gone once and for all!
Surely she will crawl up back on the surface from time and time and cry to me telling me all about how she wants to call for mom and dad, to have dinner with them that she always yearned for, or about how she wishes she would fit into that blue circle table from when she was the smallest she ever were, crafting her time away with mom, or to see her dad fishing, his favourite, though she never liked sitting on that small uncomfortable chair when the weather was always either too warm or too cold.
But i wont let her, because i know how to treat her better than you ever have. Because i know the moment i let her walk into that same house after years, when she sees all the photos on the wall, or when she walks into her room only to find it tidy with the lights still open indicating that they want to feel as if shes still there, the same thing they did when she was away at the hospital, her parents being calm, finally being calm after she was begging them for peace in that household for years and years, thats when she will break to pieces.
Because as much as that little girl wants to hate you, wants to ruin you mentally and physically for the sake of you finally understanding just how bad its been - she also wants to cry. She wants to take the chance she never had and actually be comforted by her parents.
But i wont let her, ill keep that babygirl locked in my heart forever, ill keep her there with her favourite toys and songs, she’ll forever be dancing and playing, my boyfriend will be the one to walk in my heart and play with her, my boyfriend will be with me when i decide to let her walk out of my heart, creep up on my eyes and let her tears flow.
shameless // Desireé Dallagiacomo // Jamaica Kincaid // euphoria // jobless monday, mitski // Haddon Sandblom // ? // the end of the f world //Smoke Signals // Simone de Beauvoir, The Woman Destroyed
when ethel cain said “i tried to be good am i no good am i no good am i no good” which started with her self-loathing after being abused by her father and neil perry said “i was good. i was really good” and then he killed himself because he knew that he would never be good enough for his father
However, Andre’s a grown adult man, not a freaking baby nor a little boy who needs his father’s approval anymore.
He’s the one who brought her into the world, enabled Chloe, spoiled her rotten, GAVE HER he privileges (the same ones Thomas claims she had), and set a bad example for her. HE put himself into the situation, so HE’S the one that has to deal with it. If you ask me, he needs to grow a spine and do his job as a father instead of expecting everyone to pity him for the bad mistakes that HE made lol 😂
When I look into the cracked mirror, I see the remnants of you. I hate how my nose is exactly like yours. I hope I can get it fixed one day. Your sister once said I had your eyes. You don't know how much I wished I could gouge them out. But you don't exist only on my face. I can feel it in my bones, and oh, they're too heavy for a girl. I hear it in my voice, and I speak as if I'm you. I run away from my problems, just like how you did years ago. Sometimes, I pretend they don't exist. You knew how to do that so well. Who was it that said that I was too loud? Did they not know it was the only way we communicated? Each time I stand in front of this mirror, I realize that I've become terribly lonely. My father never knew how to love, and I, who always messes up, know that too well. And I hate it, I truly hate it. I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I repeat. But like father, like daughter goes the proverb… right?
So my dad and I have never the bonding kind, alright? We're never really had a close relationship. However, the man has always been a big NCIS fan. I actually started to watch it when I was like 6 years old because he'd sit on the couch to watch it and I wanted to spend time with him without feeling the need of talking. We didn't always watch it but we went through most seasons (like 3 to 10) and important episodes together, like Ziva's exit and Tony's exit, too.
Today, I mentioned the spin off to him expecting nothing, to be honest. It's been SO many years since he watched NCIS. Same for me. Yet, his eyes lit up. "Really?" He asked. I nodded. He paused and said "with Tali and all?" I couldn't help but laugh. I nodded and we started to have a full conversation about the NCIS world. A world we haven't thought about in a while. We talked about Ducky, Gibbs, McGee, Palmer, Frank, Abby and of course Tony and Ziva. It was the longest conversation we've had in a while and it ended with a "let me know when it airs so we can watch it".
Don't mind me, I got a bit emotional. All this text is just to say... This spin off means more to me than you could ever think of and I'm so grateful for it.
Think about Dick Grayson, such a loyal and loving person, having to leave Bruce and Gotham so many times over the years. Whether Bruce pushed him away once more, or maybe he just felt so sick he just had to leave. Sometimes nobody's at fault, it just happens. People drift away, and maybe Gotham was never truly his hometown anyway.
They'll never be 9 and 25 again, each other's whole world.
They say you never love anything the way you love your first child. Bruce will forever miss the little boy he took in, with great fear and greater love. He misses the little ball of sunshine that was shaking his chandeliers and rocking his world.
They say the firstborn ages with their parent, that the two are maturing together. Dick will forever miss the man who wrapped his jacket around him and told him it'll be okay when he was sobbing on the circus floor. He misses Bruce's soft smile, the one he had when there were fewer wrinkles, white hairs, and all sorts of aches.
The persistent heartache that it is to love and to be loved by Bruce Wayne. The pain of having to be the one who leaves first.
I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask
Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???
Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.
BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-
The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.
There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.
But above all else THE LYRICS
ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE
"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.
It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.
Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate.