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onceuponapuffin · 2 days

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Fanatic Intervention Part 11!!

Okay so I had Life being Life, then a bit of Writer's Block (sort of), then a bit of a hangover, BUT I GOT IT DONE. So here we go.

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When you wake up the next morning, you once again find Anathema sitting at the large dining table surrounded by her books and tools. This time, though, Aziraphale and Crowley are with her. Aziraphale has his tiny glasses on and is flipping through a book, a cup of tea next to him, no doubt cold. Crowley is on his phone, and you can hear the sound effects of Candy Crush from here. He has a mug in front of him too, but it’s steaming and smells of coffee.

“Good morning,” Anathema says to you.

“Morning!” You respond, heading into the kitchen. Here, you can see that someone has bought a box of bagels, and you help yourself to one and make a coffee before returning to the dining room and having a seat across from Anathema.

“So,” You say, taking a bite out of your bagel (dear Reader, I personally am imagining just eating it like a donut because I can), “How are the readings coming?”

“Well,” Anathema starts, “I got some vague vibrations yesterday and I have a theory.”

“Oh?”

“The vibrations were very faint, mind you, but I think they were coming from the southwest. So I’m going to try going to that edge of the city today and try again. With any luck I’ll have a better idea of where we’re traveling to by tomorrow.”

“Awesome!” You reply

“Thanks! Aziraphale is going to go with me.”

“And I am not,” Crowley says definitively. You smirk behind your coffee mug.

“Still sulking over yesterday, are we?” You ask him, trying your best to imitate his eyebrow.

“No. It just sounds boring.”

“Well we could hang out today,” You suggest brightly. Crowley makes a noise that is non-committal and mono-syllabic. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

“That sounds like a splendid idea,” Aziraphale offers in place of Crowley, “Perhaps you can find us a car to rent. I have a feeling that we will be leaving the city soon, and we won’t want to be walking will we?” He chuckles to himself, and you nod in agreement.

“Perfect,” You say with a smile as you finish off your breakfast.

----------------

“So!” You start casually as the pair of you wander down the street, “What mischief are we going to get up to? Are we gluing coins to the sidewalk? Are we going to find someplace busy and just walk REALLY slowly? Take up both sides of the escalator? Oh! We could ride the bus and request every stop without ever getting off!”

Crowley stops walking and looks at you. His eyebrow has practically merged with his hairline.

“Is that what you lot think I do?”

“Well, uh...basically yes,” You reply uncertainly. Just as you’re starting to wonder if you should be re-evaluating everything you know about how Crowley operates, he smirks with a satisfied hum.

“Good. Glad to know my finer talents are appreciated somewhere.”

Oh he has no idea. You decide not to inflate his ego too far. Yet.

“So what do you want to do?”

Crowley produces a bag of frozen peas from nowhere. A light bulb goes off in your brain.

“Oh! Ducks!”

“Ducks.”

And so you head for Central Park.

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Finding the ducks doesn’t take too long. Neither does emptying the bag of frozen peas. In the end, you both find a bench and have a seat. It feels strangely like you’re filling in for Aziraphale.

“So what happened yesterday with Anathema?” You ask after a while.

“I have no idea what you mean,” he replies, shifting around on the bench. Alright, enough of this. You turn to stare at him.

“What do I mean, okay. I mean that you spent two days running around like an unsupervised kid, spend one afternoon with Anathema, and suddenly when I literally give you permission to be a mischievous shit, all you want to do is feed the ducks.”

It almost looks like he’s chewing on something. Words maybe, you figure. Maybe he feels that if he chews them enough, they’ll come out easier. He must realize it doesn’t work like that because after a few seconds he answers your question.

“She may have mentioned that my having too much fun might bring the Metatron back around. Back to Aziraphale. Especially since he didn’t seem to have much trouble finding you in Heathrow. He probably knows where we are.”

Oh. That’s actually a fair point. You take a minute and think about it.

“Yeah, he probably does, but I don’t think he’s going to try anything just yet. I mean, his tactics are straight out of the Fairytale Villain Playbook. So he’s probably going to hold back for a bit to see if I start to crack and then go back to him.”

“Book Girl still has a point, though. Don’t wanna bring him out before we have to.”

“Okay,” You pause for a minute, considering the obvious compromise that Crowley doesn’t seem to have touched on yet. But then again, sometimes you just need someone to give you permission – even if it’s something you already know. “So how about we don’t have too much fun, but we have just a little bit of fun. Like we go souvenir shopping and buy a t shirt with small change. Keep stuff in moderation, yeah?”

“Hm,” Crowley leans back farther if that’s even possible, considering your proposition. “I do somewhat fancy one of those I Heart NY shirts.”

“Same actually. Did you create those by any chance? Just curious.”

His smile is toothy and smug. Instead of answering, he lifts himself off the bench.

“Come on then, Reader,” he says, “Let’s buy some souvenirs.”

“Reader?” You answer, getting up and following him.

“Well what else am I gonna call you? You keep talking about how much you read and I already have Book Girl. Need to keep all you straight somehow don’t I?”

----------------

Not very long afterwards, you find yourself wandering around the city again, this time sporting I Heart NY merch and cheap star-shaped sunglasses. Crowley has swapped out his normal shades for a pair of shutter shades. A couple of times now you’ve had to grab his arm to keep him from walking into poles. And once, he nearly sauntered his way down a flight of stairs that he was certain had come out of nowhere. He still hasn’t switched back to his normal sunglasses.

“Okay what about Monopoly?” You ask him.

“Nope. That was an American who made that I think. No idea who it even was.”

“Mario Kart?”

Crowley snorts. “No.”

“What about fake pockets?”

“If anyone asks, yes. But otherwise, actually, no.”

“What about...multi-level marketing schemes?”

“I…what? No. But I definitely told Hell that I did.”

“Okay well then what did you actually invent?”

Crowley stops and looks at you through those ridiculous shutter shades. He smirks like the Cheshire Cat as he answers.

“As little as physically possible.”

“So you did basically nothing, and just took credit for everything?”

“YuP.” He pops the plosive at the end with a self-satisfied head-waggle.

“Brilliant.”

“Thank you. It’s nice to talk to someone who gets it.”

“It really is, isn’t it?” You turn and give him a hug. Sometimes, you just need to hug your demon.

“Ngk. What’s this?” He’s clearly uncomfortable, so you let go. He doesn’t say anything else about the hug, but he buys you an ice cream.

And he pays with pennies.

----------

The hotel room is quiet when you both return. After a quick search, you find that Aziraphale and Anathema aren’t back yet. That’s not...a great sign. But you’re determined not to panic.

“I’ll order some room service. You want anything?”

“Nah, I’ll wait.”

So he’s worried too. Alright. You place your order and turn on the tv. You try to care about the Big Bang Theory reruns, but you can’t relax just yet. Both of you sit in quiet tension until the door finally opens to Anathema and Aziraphale. Their moods are joyful, and you feel the dark cloud just lift away.

“Hey guys,” You say, “I just ordered some room service. I wasn’t sure when you two were coming back.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale practically sings, “I’ll get the menus. I’m certain they won’t mind adding on to the order.” He leaves the room. Anathema’s face is bright.

“I found out where we need to go. Did you find us a car?”

Oh. Whoops.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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astrxxnxmy · 5 months

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My chaotic thoughts on Bucky in THAT What If episode because I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since I watched it

The scream I let out when Bucky first appeared though 💀

The intense eye contact with Peggy?? The way his gaze was so icy and emotionless while Peggy stared back in shock and sadness and then after, while talking to Howard, her voice shook.

(the drama is juicyy and i am all here for it)

And how he looks down when Hope says "Peter deserves our help as much as anyone." baby :( oh baby no someone give him a hug :(( and the help he clearly needs :(((

"It's just you and me, pal." "There is no me." BUCKY. BUCKY.

"You don't know me." AKSJKSFGHKS (that growl though)

"Steve Rogers did." THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT-- and the way Bucky's eyes widened. He knew, he recognized that name, he remembered, if only a little bit.

"And the man he knew, the friend he loved, would never take that shot." THE FRIEND HE LOVED IM SCREAMING I CANT DO THIS TODAY

PLUS HIS HESITATION JUST AT HEARING STEVE’S NAME GOD

THE WAY HE THEN BROKE FREE FROM THE PROGRAMMING AND WENT ON THE RUN TO REDISCOVER HIMSELF JUST LIKE AFTER CATWS

"The Winter Soldier may be out there, but I'm pretty sure Bucky Barnes is out there with him." 😭❤️

#im convinced some of these writers definitely read some post-catws fics because wow #that was some good shit #us bucky fanatics just keep on winning dont we?#stucky fans too LMAO this episode was so stucky coded i cannot #STEVE ISNT EVEN IN THIS #steve rogers: saving bucky from hydra's brainwashing in every universe even when he literally isn't there 💀💀#i screamed way too much watching this episode my family must be so very tired of me #bucky barnes #marvel what if #what if season 2 #mcu #what if spoilers #marvel mcu #marvel #stucky #the winter soldier #peggy carter #howard stark

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boxofthings · 6 months

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bshsjsksk I've never written smut before so I hope this doesnt read as awkward lmao. (I kinda struggled halfway through so I'm sorry if the quality all of a sudden goes down the drain 🥲 i wrote this very late into the night)

Enjoy!

Read on AO3

NSFW below the cut!

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The post-mission adrenaline crash hits them hard. As soon as the team had returned to base, a hushed scatter of dragging feet had set the tone of their night.

For Ghost, he's high-strung, left on edge from today's most recent failures. He thinks he can still hear gunfire in the background of the night, and if he closes his eyes and lets his mind wander, he sees the poignant look of fear as the person he reaches for is just a little bit too out of grasp, and their screams etch jagged scars into his brain.

There's a tension in his bones that vibrates through his nerves, begging for reprieve, and he needs it gone—right now.

That's what makes him seek out the sergeant, finding him lounged against the corridor walls and hurriedly yanking the other into Ghost's quarters, pressing his body up against the door with rough hands and a stormy mind.

The sergeant doesn't protest, only reciprocates with the same ferocity as his lieutenant, filling the quiet with their two desperate breaths and lewd whispers.

"I need you," Ghost had groaned, face buried in the crook of Roach's neck, sinking deep reds onto marred but soft skin. Roach's breath had hitched, and the fingers latched tightly onto the lieutenant had only dug deeper.

It was all the confirmation Ghost needed before he begins stripping the younger out of his gear. Fast and desperate, like two teenagers at risk of getting caught by their parents, and technically, that wasn't too far from the truth.

His hands move mechanically, and there's a despondency that begins to fizzle into his head as he unclasps each and every clip on Roach's armour till he's just in his standard shirt and pants. There's a heavy cloud over his head that pushes him into that ugly, uncaring side of himself—the part of him that tries to make all the good things in his life meaningless, detached.

He feels the roughness behind his actions as his hands roam free over the sergeant's body. He feels like he's in a trance, familiar and lifeless, as his mind only chases for the ultimate pleasure that only serves to temporarily halt his turmoil.

This means nothing, he tells himself.

He expects the same in return—secretly begs for it in his mind so that this can all be just another vapid memory added to the list of casual hook-ups. But when Roach goes to take off his clothing, it's slow and gentle, unlike Ghost's brazen want. Roach moves like they have all the time in the world like this means something—represents more than what their activity depicts on the surface level. And Ghost—he feels disquieted.

The sergeant is methodical when he takes off Ghost's vest, pausing every so often to look at him and smile. Ghost's heart stutters and the greys in his head recede just a little more.

When it's just his undershirt and pants left, Roach gives him a soft push backwards, seating him down on the edge of his bed.

Ghost's eyes never leave Roach, watching closely like a hawk as the other climbs atop him and firmly grasps his chin, tilting it upwards.

"You think too much," he signs lightly. And before Ghost can respond, confident lips meet his own unprepared ones, and his disordered mind goes quiet.

With his balaclava rolled up to his nose, Roach holds the sides of his face as they kiss like longtime lovers, and there's a fierce burn in his chest that ignites hotter the longer they're connected.

When Roach pulls away, Ghost chases after him, high on the feel of the other's touch. His hands come up to encircle Roach's waist, keeping him firmly close and fervid against himself.

The sergeant's hands come to hold his face again, except instead of leaning in, he stares. His piercing green strikes Ghost immobile, but he recognizes what that look on the other's face means—he's picking him apart, trying to gauge what's going on in Ghost's head.

Ghost tries to avert his gaze, doing so by surging up, trying to capture Roach's lips once again, but Roach sees the action for what it is and pulls away, keeping his hold strong on Ghost. It forces him to look directly at the other.

"Are you ok?" he whispers, and it's soft—so gentle that a hard wall inside of him cracks just a little. Roach's face conveys one of searching concern, and Ghost feels pinned, flayed open at the mercy of those eyes.

He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head stiffly as his hands dig deeper into Roach's hips.

"I just-" he croaks, "I just need you."

Roach's eyes narrow, and Ghost lets a sliver of vulnerability slip through the cracks—just a tiny push. "Please," he whispers, and he can see in real-time how Roach's expression falls, a sad smile pulling meekly onto his mouth, and he nods.

Ghost kisses him—hard. This is familiar. If he's in control, he can't let those lingering terrors plague his thoughts. The sooner he can get this going, the sooner he can distract himself. He thrusts up into Roach, feeling the heat of the other on top of him, and the younger groans into the kiss as the two grind against each other, needy and fervent.

Hands push down squarely on his chest until he's forced to lay back. When he looks forward to Roach, the other smiles warmly and begins to work at his zipper.

"Let me take care of you."

And it takes everything in Ghost not to crumble at those words.

Roach palms at his erection, still confined in his boxers, and Ghost wants to kick him.

"Stop teasing."

He's met with a cheeky grin. "Stop teasing?" the other signs demurely. "You mean like this?"

A warm hand suddenly grasps his length, and Ghost's breath hitches, making the humour in Roach's gaze grow.

"Oh, piss off you-"

The hand tightens, stroking confidently up and down, melting the words on Ghost's tongue immediately.

Bastard.

It's been a while since they've done this. Missions have become more frequent and dire as the war rages on, and Ghost hasn't gotten a chance to get laid—to expel the stress.

He wants to say that's the reason why his stomach swoops so violently as the sergeant slowly takes him into his mouth, gaze never leaving Ghost's as he swallows him deeper.

God, he can't deny it; Roach knows how to take him apart. His eyes make Ghost feel like pinned-down prey as he sensually swirls his tongue around the tip.

His hand reaches to grasp at Roach's hair, keeping the sergeant in place, but Roach only dips lower, expertly sucking him off at a rhythmic pace that punches deep groans out of Ghost.

He bucks his hips upwards as Roach meets him halfway, setting an exhilarating pace that forces Ghost to concentrate on not finishing right into the sergeant's mouth. He wants this night to last.

He pulls Roach off his cock, leaving a string of saliva that Ghost immediately swipes across the other's lips. It makes the heat inside of him grow.

"Get on the bed."

Roach wastes zero time obeying, laying across the same spot that Ghost had previously occupied.

Shedding his cargos, he grabs the lube on the bedside table, fully seating himself between Roach's now bare legs as he drenches his fingers.

As he circles Roach's entrance, he leans forward, waiting for the exact moment the other's mouth hangs open as his finger breaches into heat, capturing lips in a hungry kiss, and Roach leans into it enthusiastically.

He adds another digit, awaiting for the stuttered breathing that will follow, and he curls his fingers, watching closely as Roach's back arches off the bed like a puppet.

The other scoffs, locks of hair falling in front of his eyes. Ghost wants to brush them away.

"Now, who's teasing."

A smile pulls at his face as he adds a third, and he revels in knowing that he's the one wringing those noises, those expressions out of Roach—revels in knowing he's the only one who knows how to make the other feel this good.

When Ghost pulls out, moving to lube himself up, Roach's hands come to press on his shoulders, a leg coming up to hook around his middle, effectively flipping their positions in a swift and practiced maneuver.

With Roach on top, he can see the smugness that paints his features, a nimble hand caressing up his torso to sit at his chest.

"I said I'd take care of you," Roach leans down to whisper low in his ear before Ghost can protest, and a shiver runs down his spine, pooling arousal at the base of his cock.

The sergeant takes him in hand and, just like before, never moves his sights from the lieutenant's face as he guides the head of his cock to his entrance, sinking slowly down until Ghost is fully sheathed inside of him.

Their combined groans mingle together into heavy breaths.

Ghost's hands climb to grip hard at Roach's hips. A choked moan threatens to spill once the sergeant begins moving, his heat all-encapsulating and enticing.

He sits up so he can better hold Roach in his lap, roaming hands gripping tight on the back of the sergeant's shirt. He pushes his hips upwards, setting a brutal pace and eliciting a series of gasps that only encourage him to move faster.

He wants to lose himself in this. Be buried inside this warmth forever, anything to take him away from the battles he'll be thrown back into once he leaves this room.

He scrunches his eyes shut, trying to focus only on the building pressure below. But despite his efforts, the storm cloud slowly creeps back into the cracks of his brain, along with the distant screams that follow with it. Eyes too young to display such fear watch him from the depths of his mind, and suddenly, Ghost can't get it out.

Two taps to his shoulder.

His eyes fling open, thrusts halting immediately.

The concern is back, more intense than before.

"What's wrong?"

Ghost inhales, taking in how genuinely worried the sergeant looks—how quickly he had noticed Ghost's inner turmoil.

"I-" he swallows, words weighing like bricks in his throat.

He doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to even spare a grain of space in his mind for images that will spiral him deep into disruption. It's why he'd even sought out the sergeant in the first place. This was just supposed to be another meaningless fuck.

But a part of him knew it wasn't going to be so easy, not with Roach. Not with someone who takes one glance at him, mask and all, and immediately knows which weak points to aim for to leave him an exposed, vulnerable mess.

He supposes he should've known this would happen—wonders if, deep in his subconscious, he had hoped for something more to come out of this.

Fingers gently grasp his hand, lifting it slowly, hesitantly, as if Ghost would run at the slightest hint of comfort.

Soft lips come to kiss at his knuckles, one by one, and it's so—kind. The contrast between Roach's lips and the scars that run down Ghost's hand feels undeserving, like such good things are ought to be for people like him.

"When people grow up in ugly homes, they can only assume everything in the world is ugly, including themselves."

It was something Roach had said to him offhandedly after a particular deployment. Although back then, Ghost hadn't understood where it came from.

He'd thought it had something to do with the mission they had just returned from. One that—similarly to today's—had left the task force a shaken crowd of solemn faces.

He remembers it clear as day. He and Roach had been the first at the scene, gazing upon the aftermath of what could only be described as a brutal execution—one that left an innocent family limp at their feet, like bloody ragdolls.

The sole survivor, a boy no older than twelve, had sat at the centre of it all, looking no more alive than the ashen bodies surrounding his small frame.

It was a disturbingly familiar sight, and Ghost had left that mission quieter than usual.

Now, though, he thinks he knows why Roach had said it. It's for the same reason why Ghost was thinking of such a phrase at a time like this—for comfort, reassurance.

Roach had recognized then how that mission had messed with Ghost's head, just as he recognized how today's mission had messed with him further.

Ghost takes a deep breath, calming the violent sea in his mind.

"Sorry," he breathes out, looking Roach square in the eyes with what he hopes is a genuine, small smile. "Just all up in my head."

Roach's thumb swipes back and forth at the palm of Ghost's hand—a grounding sensation despite how miniscule it is. A small smile reflects back on his face, a wisp of a concession.

We'll talk about this after.

Ghost rolls them over so that Roach is now under him. By the look of exasperation, the other had probably been expecting this.

"This is a two-way tango, bug. Let me return the favour."

There's enthusiasm in the arms that drape around his neck, and Ghost begins to pick up where they left off.

With Roach laid under him, Ghost's fingers crawl up his stomach to lift off the other's shirt, exposing him fully to the lieutenant. In response, Roach tugs at Ghost's own shirt, a challenging glint in his eye that Ghost readily accepts, leaving the two fully bare for each other.

Ghost is gentler this time when he pushes back in, making sure not to be as rough as he was before. Roach takes him in easily, whining softly as Ghost's hips snap to hit that sweet spot. It shouldn't affect him how well they fit together, and not just in bed, but in a warzone, too.

He tries not to let his thoughts wander again, and instead, thinks of Roach—Roach and how he's splayed underneath him, how his touches feel like they burn the skin off his flesh, how even without a voice, his words stick in Ghost's mind like unwilling tattoos.

-- -- --

"You think all these terrible things that have happened to you define who you are. They don't."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you."

In the haze of pleasurable bliss, a thought weighs sudden and heart-stuttering.

I love him.

He loves him.

And it's more than just the sex. It's the way those brown curls splay out on the bed like a halo—the same curls he'd run his fingers through countless times during leisure hours. It's the kiss-swollen lips that smile warmly at him every morning at breakfast. It's the strong arms currently wrapped around his neck that aid him in battle with their assured grip and expertise and the fingers that softly grasp Ghost's own when they have fleeting moments of tenderness on the battlefield. It's the way that when Ghost looks at the man before him, there's a part of him deep down that knows what this is, a part of him that thinks of green eyes and gentle smiles, and he wants.

He stares down at Roach, beautiful and wrecked and gazes at the scars that embroider his person. Ghost traces his fingers softly on the large gash decorating the left hip. An ugly knife wound, he remembers. He helped stitch that one. The mark beside that one—a bullet not fully penetrated, but Ghost had been there when the shot had hit its mark, and it had terrified him at that moment.

The arms around him release, and then hands come to rest delicately on his face. Green eyes watch him, glassy from their intimate activity but strong in their tender gaze.

This is so much different than his usual hook-ups—the rough, quick-fucks he'd indulge himself in over the years as a way of forcing out the accumulative tension from his stressful lifestyle. But when he's with Roach, it's gentle, it's slow, and, dare he say it, loving. Ghost can't help himself as his hips slow to a stop, and his eyes move towards Roach's face.

His hand grabs recklessly at his mask, pulling it off with a haste he hasn't felt in a long time.

Roach's eyes widen. His partner's desperate pants have halted as well, and he looks straight up at Ghost, gaze shocked with an underlayer of hope.

"I love you."

Ghost feels nervous in his own skin, uncharted emotion rubbing hotly inside his chest, foreign and wild. But Gary inches his face closer, and immediately, those biting fears dissipate, leaving his mind completely once Gary pulls their lips together in a tender kiss.

It's the sweetest he's ever had. Completely unlike the past frustratingly-charged snogs he'd shared with past willing fucks.

When they break apart, Gary looks high, pupils blown wide, and lips a swollen red. Ghost suspects he doesn't look much different.

"I love you, Simon," he whispers, awed.

And the sharp zing of warmth shoots straight down to his groin, where they're still connected, and he groans.

The legs wrapped around his middle squeeze tighter, and Ghost understands, picking up where he left off and speeding up his pace once more.

Roach's head falls back, eyes squeezed shut as Ghost drives them closer to the edge.

His heart stutters as he watches Roach closely. He wants this, he wants more, he wants—

A hand on his heart.

"You think too much."

Ghost exhales, watching Roach closely, watching every minute change in expression. He notices how his breathing hitches when Ghost hits that sweet spot, notices how the other likes it when Ghost strokes his hair, notices how his nose scrunches up when he's concentrating on something hard.

It's not just sex. He knows all the little details about Roach without even having to look. Like when the other taps his pencil on his right thigh but only on the right, like when Roach drinks hot tea and always blows twice before taking a sip, like how there are calluses on his index and middle finger on his dominant hand from writing in his journal, and one on his left index from handling his gun.

I'm thinking about you.

But Ghost doesn't say it out loud; only aims to show what his mind yearns to spill.

He intertwines his hand with Roach's and kisses him feverishly as his hips pull sweet gasps out of Roach's mouth.

He's getting close. Ghost can feel it as Roach clenches tighter around him, and it takes everything in him not to let go right now.

No, he wants to watch Roach spill over the edge first; wants to watch the other fall into the pleasurable bliss brought by Ghost's own doing.

"Come for me, bug," he whispers lowly, and he knows that's all it'll take.

There's a final, strangled whimper before the other spasms and arches beneath him, eyes rolling back as he rides through his orgasm, shaky breaths filling the silence of the room. Ghost drinks in every bit of the sight before him, fuelling his own chase towards the end.

A hand roams his face. The affection on Roach's face is so overwhelming it gives him butterflies.

"Beautiful," Roach mouths.

And Ghost groans as his own orgasm overtakes him, unloading into Roach. Their collective moans are cut short when Roach goes in for one more kiss as Ghost basks in the aftermath of his climax.

This could have never been a casual hook-up, not with Roach. Even with all the past times they've done this, it'd only served to make Ghost hungrier each time for something more.

It was just unfortunate a mental spiral was what pushed him to spit it out.

Now, as the two of them lay together in bed, Roach softly carding fingers through Ghost's hair, he can only think of what a fool he was for assuming he could prolong those hidden desires in his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

They'd hastily cleaned up the mess they'd made and thrown on simple clothes, with Roach borrowing one of Ghost's shirts.

It feels oddly domestic, and despite his earlier confession, Ghost can't help but feel scared.

"Sorry," he swallows, "if I hurt you earlier."

He's deflecting—just a little bit. He knows they have to talk about it, but he wants to sit inside this safe threshold just a little longer.

Beside him, Roach shakes his head.

"You didn't hurt me," he reassures, letting a minute grin slip through, "it's not like you haven't been rougher in the past."

Ghost huffs, his own lips betraying amusement, but he averts Roach's eyes and looks to the ceiling.

He can't keep holding it all in; feels like he at least owes it to Roach—attentive and caring, Roach—what was bothering him.

"It was the girl."

It's not a question, so Roach must've been sure that was it.

As usual, he was right.

"I was so close." He was. He was right there at the edge of the window. If he'd just been a little quicker–

"It's not your fault, Simon."

He can't help but sigh. He knows that. But there's a part of him, the irrational shadow of himself that looks suspiciously like a little boy, curses him for his incompetence.

And it's not just the blame; it's the principle of his role as a soldier. If he can't save one little girl, what good is he?

To serve and protect. If he can't even do that for a stranger, how does he expect to do it for the people he cares about?

In the dim light, he can just make out the grim line of Roach's mouth.

There's nothing the other can really say to make this all better. Regardless of everything, Ghost’s mind will always remain a wasteland of accusatory what-ifs. But-

"I...I meant what I said, though. Earlier."

And even with the sombre fog set over his mind, Roach's smile still manages to make it all just a little more bearable.

"Me, too."

He's scared. There's another reason why his failure today hit him so viscerally. When he stares back at Roach, he feels the phantom fear that imprints like a shadow behind his eyelids, with green eyes that fall into an abyss Ghost isn't fast enough to reach for.

It could be him one day that you don't catch, his ugly thoughts say.

But before he can further fuel those anxieties, Roach pulls him close, resting Ghost's head under his chin.

"You think too much," he mutters, running his fingers through Ghost's hair.

Ghost sighs, closing his eyes and leaning further into the embrace. He feels—safe.

Trust Roach to soften the blows of everything horrible in his life.

There are more things to say, more things they need to establish with this newfound step in their relationship, more fears that Ghost needs to acknowledge head-on.

But for now, he's happy to stay like this, in the arms of someone he knows he can trust.

Tomorrow, they’ll leave the safety of this room and be thrown back into the uncertainty of their fragile lives; however, the other side of his door no longer feels so daunting, not when he has this.

As his mind drifts slowly away into the lulling arms of sleep, he feels Roach hold him tighter.

"One day," Roach begins to whisper, and it's soft—wishful-sounding, "I hope you'll be able to accept that you're more than just your shortcomings, like how I see you."

For the first of many nights, his mind is at peace.

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distraughtlesbian · 1 month

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literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble

#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!!#MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U.#their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable #mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt #his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast #and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics.#like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move #but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult #like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’#i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!!#but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes #sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book.#like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic.#anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png #maeve speaks #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #choices alpha #channing lowe #markus barnes #side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc #but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch #he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER?#even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL #and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy #is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.

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tang3rin3dr3am · 20 days

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A mother's love.

Large stained glass windows, that's what first caught her attention. The glass was her mother's favorite, and her father wanted nothing but the best for the love of his life. Each color reflected against her skin. "Christ will protect you as long as you deserve to be protected. As long as you are what I want you to be you will be safe and loved. For that is my will and therefore Christ."

Her feet ached and the pressure of the weight on her scraped knees was too much of a burden on her frail frame. Her nightgown was stained and ripped, it stunk of dust and reeked of her filth, her sweat making the yellow-ish gown stick to her skin. She vaguely remembered it being white, brand new, and important enough to delicately trace instead of grip in anxious fits.

Her wounds ailed with infection, the sight of pus dizzying her vision. She feared her consciousness would falter even if her wakefulness was slim at best. The old manor was loud with bloody prayer. Her breathing was becoming too much, her scent putrid to her nose. Her stomach tangled and her bones pushed against her skin, she could see each turn of bone, her skin far too thin. She was once round with fat, far too much for the average woman or so her mother would whisper in her ear with each tight hug.

She was all pale, but she remembered color, color to the skin of her flesh, an olive tone maybe, she just wasn't certain anymore. She could not remember anything that was the norm, of anything that once was. She was sick, sick in health, sick in mind, and sick with emotion. Awry once again, she doubted her mother, therefore, she doubted God, she'll burn, she'll burn for her blunder. One should never distrust God's will. The old manor was loud with desperate prayer. She was hanging on a thin thread of sanity, her old claims of truths and clear skies a twisted joke that struck her with irony. She was sick with emotion, sick with memory, and a sense of having lived and failed like she once did and continued to do. The old manor was used to her tears of woe. She cried, the wooden floor below wet with the content of her bladder. The skin of her throat was burned, raw, and white, the first layer of skin scraped away. The pressure was too great. She just wanted to die. Living was the gift that God blessed upon her, she would forever cherish it and embrace it. Eternal rest, damnation for her sins. She ached more than ever for punishment. Retribution for her actions, for she was a sinner and the rosary clutched in her bleeding hand burned her cuts. The old manor smelled of her soiled clothes, it smelled of her old tears and her new cuts and her first meal and felt of her first steps. It looked like the grief in her eyes at having to give herself to a life of worship for something she deep beneath did not believe in. It tasted of doubt. The old manor was loud, loud with her wails, and loud with silence once her body failed to keep her awake. The old manor was loud with her prayer for the years she was alive and secluded. The large stained windows were her mother's favorite.

" Do you like them, Brutus?" Her mother smiled, but she noticed it didn't quite reach her eyes "If you love them, I will forever cherish them". The gleam that crossed her mother's eyes was something akin to penitence. "Here, you will become the very semblance of Christ" her voice was lustful with ambition "Here I will learn to love you, here you will be useful or you will be nothing". The pointed arch of the cupola was caving in. The manor was quiet. It was old, clogged with dust, stained with fear and dreams that never had the right to be. The quiet old manor walls no longer echoed prayer. It was quiet, with broken stained windows and a broken and bloated mass on its brick and flooded floor.

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jekyll-doodles · 4 months

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if you ever get an ask for Julius the Dressmaker dont do it

the character is a rapist and necrophiliac

the creator and his fans are problematic and have bullied other creators

Once again, after cursory google search, I wouldn't have wanted to even without the warning.

(Quote from the wiki) "...a much more realistic representation of a serial killer."

Proceeds to be a run-of-the-mill creepypasta "Fan-art Generative" character, complete with subpar design and a wishy washy backstory.

#you ever read something and think the writer may have been a jeffery dahmer fanatic. because god damn. atrocious.#anon #ask #greenghostlyjekyll #creepypasta

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boysonly111 · 7 months

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Your average wattpad superstar after writing his 3rd draft

#wattpad #writer #fanfiction #fanatic #teenage #sixteen #superstar #internet superstar

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kittzuxp · 1 month

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7, 20 and 80 for the writers ask game :33

7: Ok so. The first fanfic i EVER wrote was a very cringy very lore inaccurate warrior cats story about my oc, spottednose

20: fav trope(s) i think are slowburn and AUs because i add so many headcanons its not even that canon anymore

80: i.. don’t think i’ve ever actually tried to give any piece of media i’ve written a deeper or a moral meaning. (Except for vent rants and/or fake scenario writing that i do once in a while)

Also- i plant on updating my plargos fanfic soon dw ^^;

#kittzuxp #ask game #writer #fanatics #fanfiction #wrtiting game #writing #warriors #kittzu answers asks

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silverslipstream · 10 months

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Ten Songs, Ten People Tag Game

Thanks to @phynewrites for the tag! Going to shuffle my On Repeat playlist from Spotify and see what comes up.

Kiss Goodnight - I Dont Know How But They Found Me (side note, IDKHow is one of my new favourite bands - their name comes from Doc Brown's famous quote in Back to The Future)

Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

Agnes - Glass Animals

Weird Science - Oingo Boingo

resting place - A.I.M

You Make My Dreams (Come True) - Hall & Oates

Here's Where The Story Ends - The Sundays

Moving To New York - The Wombats

Piano Is Breathing - Fabrizio Paterlini

I'll (gently) tag in @thesoftestofpetals, @wmlittlemoreauthor, @pygmalionwasajerk, @rickie-the-storyteller, @leebrontide, @amostdelectablescribbler, @halberdbooks, @sarah-sandwich, @careful-pyromancer and @j-1173, as well as an open tag for anyone else keen to join in!

#writeblr #writers community #tag game #ten songs ten people #yes I'm a desperate 80s fanatic #how can you tell? hmmm

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capnkirk17 · 5 months

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rosey rosa rose

#gay wizard fanfic fanatic over here #fanfic fanatic. kind of a toungue twister huh.#try saying it 3 times fast.#imagine if you said fanfic fanatic 3 times fast and then like.#an entire community of fanfic writers from different fandoms fucking. appear behind you.#like some bloody mary type shit #homestuck #art #rose lalonde

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ragingtwilight · 4 months

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Feeling the urge to start on another fic even tho I've only posted the first chapter of my current one so far

Multi track drifting but with fics reeheehee

#i have Ideas #but idk just yet if i wanna go thru with it #im on a heket spur after that big post i reblogged abt the bishops and rahhh i wanna write her character depth!!!#tbh i also wanna write smth with kallamar too #each of them getting a separate fic w relationship development w the lamb #and deeper looks into how i see them #prob not as bananas as the leshy fic lol but im a romance fanatic so theyll likely have it #god i fucking love these characters #prob gonna crack open calmly writer and brainstorm teehee #grrr

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onceuponapuffin · 12 days

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Fanatic Intervention Part 8!!

I see your votes everyone, and I hear your voices. But before I can, in good conscience, place us in Heathrow, I need to share this with you.

Beginning|| Previous || Next

******************

In the end, convincing Aziraphale (who, surprise surprise, had never flown on a plane) that First Class was the way to go wasn’t all that hard.

“Otherwise you fly all cramped with hundreds of other people!” You say. Crowley nods.

“Mmmmm yes,” the demon agrees, “Imagine being elbow-to-elbow with all those humans. Feet in your face, children kicking the back of your seat, sharing an armrest!”

“I rather like humans though,” says Azirphale, even though he looks a little pale at the mention of armrests, “And I would be next to you anyway.”

“What about the humans who haven’t showered for days?” You ask, “How long has it been since the last time you were near one person, nevermind a hundred-ish, who didn’t follow basic hygiene practices? A few hundred years?”

Aziraphale’s face falls. Crowley chimes in.

“Oh yes, just imagine all the sweat and grease from the airport food.”

“And then there are the babies that travel. I mean, their ears pop when the plane takes off and when it lands, and they only really have one coping strategy.”

“Aaah,” Crowley says, “The crying babes! Think of all the crying babies and no escape! Not for hours and hours and hours.”

“And then,” You say, “There’s the in-flight meal.” Here, you seem to have struck a cord. Duh, you should have led with this. Aziraphale raises an eyebrow.

“Oh? They serve food?”

“Psh,” You say, “If you can call it that. They ask you if you want chicken or vegetarian, and then they plop a cardboard box with a film top in front of you.”

“It’s dreadful,” agrees Crowley, “All bland and clearly frozen and warmed up in a microwave.”

“And if you’re lucky, you can tell that it’s meant to be a sandwich,” You add.

“Supposing you can tell that it’s food at all!” Crowley says with a nod, “And their wine list is small potatoes.”

“Small bland potatoes,” You say, “If you can call them potatoes at all – served in the tiniest bottles and the tiniest glasses you ever did see.”

You noticed Aziraphale’s eye twitch ever so slightly.

“And in First Class they...they serve actual food and wine, do they?”

“Oh yeah,” You say, “with proper service and cloth napkins and everything. Most of the airline websites say that the food’s prepared by an actual chef.”

“And the glasses are normal sizes, and made of actual glass,” adds Crowley for good measure. Aziraphale hums.

“Yes, fine. Clearly First Class is the only acceptable way to travel.” He leaves the room. You hear the kettle turn on. He probably needs some tea to calm his nerves after hearing all that. You turn to Crowley.

“So you’ve gone on a plane before, huh? Did you invent the food? I would not be surprised if you did.”

“Me?” Crowley says, “Naaaah. Never flown on a plane. Never needed to. But I know a bit of fun when I see it.”

You look up at him and sigh, cradling your chin in your hands for effect.

“It really is no wonder why Aziraphale loves you so much.”

“Ngk,” Crowley says, his ears turning pink.

-----

And now, dear Reader, we arrive at Heathrow. Anathema and Newt had met you at the bookshop, and the four of you drove over together in the Bentley after bidding Newt and Muriel goodbye. You spend the entire wait in line at airport security feeling nervous. Airport security is always a test for your nerves to begin with, but this time you have no passport or paperwork of any kind to twiddle in your hands to take the edge off. Instead, you fidget relentlessly with the button in your pocket (Muriel, being an observant and kind soul, had given you a large-ish green button to put in your pocket “Because you seem nervous, and it looked like it helped you last time.” You swear if anyone harms your new best friend while you’re gone you will end them). The line goes quicker than you would like, and when it gets to be your turn, honestly you’re not sure what happens. It all goes smoothly. Did Aziraphale and Crowley miracle you a passport? Did they click a finger or wave a hand to convince the guard that everything was in order? You have no idea, because you’re too focused on your nerves and Trying Not To Look Suspicious While Worrying That This Makes You Look More Suspicious Than You Would If You Could Just Be Normal About This (if you know the feeling, you know why it gets to be capitalized like that).

Once the stress of airport security is done, you head to the bathroom for a break from the chaos so that you can figure out how to breathe again. Normally, you wouldn’t be That Person to occupy the Accessible Washroom, but since you are desperately trying not to have a panic attack because of all the pent-up anxiety from the whole airport security thing, you decide that you Really Cannot Do People Right Now, and that the single-occupant washroom may be your saving grace. You lock the door and sigh, leaning against the cold metal. It’s comparatively quiet here, and you’re grateful for it. Thank Someone. You resolve to try not to be too long in case someone who actually needs this washroom comes by (although I’m gonna be honest here, reader, right now you need this room for invisible accessibility/health reasons). After a minute or two, you are finally starting to feel your anxiety return to a manageable level. Everything is okay. You are traveling with the most ideal companions you could ever dream of, and the worst part is over. Everything from here on out is smooth sailing.

Except, dear reader, you all voted. And So It Shall Be.

You’ve just finished drying your hands.

“Aah,” says a voice behind you. You jump a solid 3 feet in the air. “I thought I might find you here.”

“HOLY! FUCKING! ZOMBIE! JESUS!!!” You sputter.

“Mind your manners, human.”

“Manners?? ME?? This is a WASHROOM.”

The Metatron looks at you blankly and shrugs. Ah yes, the biggest jerk in Heaven doesn’t know or care about washrooms or privacy. Or actually being polite.

“I merely wanted to have a word with you. Away from the others, of course.”

“Yeeeaaaaah,” You say. You’ve seen a million movies (approximate), and read a million books (also approximate), you know what this is. This is the maybe we can still solve this problem quietly plot. And you know that actually having the conversation is a bad idea. “I don’t think so.”

You reach for thee door. It’s locked, and it won’t unlock. Of course. You (gently) pound your head against the door, before turning to face Metatron. You take a breath, and answer as calmly as you can given how angry you are.

“What. Do you want?”

“I merely hoped that we could agree upon...an arrangement.”

“Pretty sure I made it clear back at the bookshop that I’m not letting you anywhere near them.”

“Oh dear, no. This has nothing to do with the demon or with Aziraphale. This is about you.”

You mentally brace yourself. Here comes the manipulation. You inwardly remind yourself of the tropes of villain manipulation and all the things you’ve ever shouted at the tv screen after one of these interactions. You need to be prepared, because apparently you need to play this out. And so, you give him the response he clearly wants.

“What about me?”

“Well, my dear, I only thought that perhaps you might like to go home.”

“Ha! Nice try.”

“You have no desire to return to your family? Your friends? Your life?”

“Not right now, thanks.”

“And you think you’ll get a similar offer later?”

“I mean...well yeah. I don’t know whether I would actually want to go back yet but --”

“You think Aziraphale and his associates will want to keep you as their pet forever? My dear, they only entertain you right now because you’re useful to them.”

Okay, I mean you knew that already but still. Ouch. Hearing it out loud is just...Ouch. Unfortunately, you do not have the Acting Prowess of either Michael Sheen or David Tennant, and so the Metatron sees the Ouch. He smiles kindly.

“Here, you are merely a tool,” he continues, voice smooth as honey, “And back home there are people who love you and value your presence in their lives. Back home there are people who miss you purely because you are you. Here, you are well, a convenience. A help. But that’s all. And once this is all over, there is no promise, no guarantee that you would be able to return. And no reason for Aziraphale to keep you. You would need to start again, and since you needed the help of an angel to get through airport security, I’m guessing that would be very difficult for you. And then, of course, there’s your immortal soul to be concerned about once the Final Judgment comes to pass.”

You ignore the bait, even though it stings. Take a breath. You’ve got this.

“That’s all irrelevant right now,” You say.

“Is it? It seems that you’re….what’s that charming human expression? Flying by the seat of your pants?” He chuckles at his own joke. You smile awkwardly. Well, yes you are, but the heroes in stories do all the time. They figure it out as they go. You are doing no worse than any of them. You don’t find the joke so funny. And frankly his laughter is unsettling.

“Um...” You start uncertainly, “Well if that’s all, then can I go now?”

“In a moment,” the Metatron says smugly. Oh you hate that he has so much control right now. “First I would like to extend to you the offer of some help. I would like to see you home safely, at a time of your choosing. Whenever you feel that you are ready.”

“And you have the power to do that, do you?” You’re skeptical.

“I have the power of all Creation at my disposal.”

“Riiiiight. Just out of the goodness of your own angelic heart. That’s very kind of you Metatron.” You’re not sure if he hears the edge of sarcasm. He shrugs regardless.

“There is of course, one and only one thing I would like from you if you decide to take my help.”

“Oooooof course there is. I’m not letting you near Aziraphale and Crowley.”

“Once again, my dear, this has nothing to do with them. All I would like is to know why your first instinct was to take that coffee. The full truth, mind you. None of that sarcasm or loophole nonsense that you humans are so fond of. And do not be foolish enough to think I can’t tell the difference.” He looks at you pointedly.

That’s...a suspiciously innocuous request. But then again, it usually is with these sort of things, isn’t it? You feign non-chalance and tap your foot for emphasis.

“Are you done yet?” You ask obstinately. The door unlocks audibly behind you.

“Just think about it,” says the Metatron, “No rush.”

Oh yes there is one. You rush to open the door. Never before have you felt so relieved to be in a crowded place.

Don't worry about airplane route logistics or whether or not you can actually get a direct flight from Heathrow to Orlando. Just vote for whatever you would like :)

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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