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fatenista · 4 years

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Welcome to the World my dearest son. Nadashi Siripatana, was born on Saturday February, 1st, 2020 Sydney, Australia.

Let’s throwback a bit before it all began. I remember by the time we got here in early of May 2019, we were getting settled, adjusting new daily routines and managing our lives in all perspectives. From getting a cozy home to choosing the good-enough private health insurance. After we got all these and felt quite settled with our (financial) situation, I realize I was late. Before we did the test, we were pretty okay and not panicked if we were to expect another child. We were mentally ready and I was physically ready to deal with pregnancy again. Except, $$$ that we were quite worried. But Alhumdullilah, it was manageable. Of course, unlike in Saudi, we were insured. But here, a day after we got insurance, we knew we were expecting. I called my insurance company and unfortunately, they only cover birth & pregnancy after 12-month of waiting period. In Saudi we had BUPA insurance, in here they also got BUPA but the coverage is not the same as in Saudi. In Saudi, I got there less than 3 months and pregnancy & birth was fully covered. (How we missed Middle East lol) After that, I couldn’t wait to find out. So off we went to Royal Hospital for Women (10 mins walk from our house) and set appointment to meet with the midwife in my 14th week. If you have a normal pregnancy here, you will not meet your midwife and your GP (from any clinic of your choice). The OB-GYN doctors are for high risk pregnancy only, it makes sense. My whole pregnancy check-up, I managed to meet GP twice and 5 times with my midwife.

After we been living here for almost a year, Australia work and life balance is at its best. Most people I know or talked to, works 3 days a week at office and the rest work from home or not working at all. This way, both parents got to spend time with kids not only on weekend but also on weekdays. No wonder when I first came here and brought Insha to the park, there are some dads who brought kids to playground and do all mom’s jobs. It’s a new normal for us. I was also surprised knowing that the nurses at the hospital works 3 days a week only and with total of 36 hours a week. Isn’t that great?

Nadashi at 20th week ultrasound

With this pregnancy, I was craving for all the sweets and chocolate mousse in the first half of my human-incubation period. Until I had my sugar tested and surprise surprise! I had pregger diabetes (GDM;Gestational Diabetes Mellitus) and I had to stop all sweets, no white rice nor white bread, control my diet and lots of walk and prenatal yoga. My midwife appointed me to meet with the group for women with GDM and really, Australia has a very impressive health care system. You will feel that they really care about you. They don’t want you risking by having a too-large baby and ended up with C-section. Ahh, I don’t want it too. So I was extra careful with my diet though it was such a torture to not eat what I craved for when pregnant.

12-hour before getting into labour!

Birth time! Insha was born right on her due date at 40 weeks, so I didn’t expect Nadashi to want to come out earlier than week 39th. A day before I was in labour, we went downtown Sydney and I was walking like I’m still far from baring child. But walking a lot also naturally induce the labour.

At 6am in the morning next day (Feb, 1st), I was lying in bed after a constant trips to the toilet. I felt my water broke and then contraction started literally 3-5 minutes apart (already? I thought it’d start at every 20 minutes or 10 at first but 3-5 mins right away). I kid myself that ‘Nuhh, not yet. I’m too sleepy to be in labour now” I was sure that it wasn’t Braxton hicks because it was repeated and also hurt like hell. I decided to wait to see another 30 minutes and it was the same. Oh man! he’s coming, he’s really coming!

Then I called “Delivery Suit” at hospital and explained my situation. They asked me to take hot shower and have breakfast and then come to the hospital. So I did, but I couldn’t eat because the contraction got stronger and more painful that it hurts like my pelvis being crushed by a tractor. I woke Adil and Insha, “We need to go to hospital now. Nadashi is coming” .. my last-day-only-child then said “It’s February already?” Haha, yep, she knew Nadashi will come in February. We walked to hospital. It was 8am. when we were walking I had like 5-6 contractions along the way. Ain’t I crazy.

Delivery Suit

At hospital (8am), Delivery Suit. One of the on-duty midwife (Kim) welcomed me right at the door. Everything felt so calm and quiet. Kim brought me straight to our delivery room. A spacious purple room, big windows that we could see UNSW, bathroom attached, birthing ball and fully quipped suit for delivery. I wasn’t ready to be honest with all the birth thing (again) but at the same time, I also couldn’t wait to meet my new lover.

I had Kim and Nicole assisted me at the first stage of getting into labour. That time I was wondering how far along was my dilation because I needed the most magical thing in my life, Epidural. I asked Kim that I need an epidural and she checked I was 3cm. dilated. With Insha, I had epi at 5cm. which is good timing not too early and not too late. But with the 2nd birth, I figured it dilated quicker so I decided to have it asap. Of course, there’s lot of consent to be made due to the possible (1 in 10) side effects. I consent, I consent, I consent. I couldn’t stand any more pain from this. It crushed me. I thought I could do better this time round, but no, it’s such a trauma to feel it again. I cried few times to be honest. How can women, other women, handle this pain without any drugs? You really are super super human.

Delivery SuitI had Kim and Nicole assisted me at the first stage of getting into labour. That time I was wondering how far along was my dilation because I needed the most magical thing in my life, Epidural. I asked Kim that I need an epidural and she checked I was 3cm. dilated. With Insha, I had epi at 5cm. which is good timing not too early and not too late. But with the 2nd birth, I figured it dilated quicker so I decided to have it asap. Of course, there’s lot of consent to be made due to the possible (1 in 10) side effects. I consent, I consent, I consent. I couldn’t stand any more pain from this. It crushed me. I thought I could do better this time round, but no, it’s such a trauma to feel it again. I cried few times to be honest. How can women, other women, handle this pain without any drugs? You really are super super human.

Finally! Epidural time

At around 10am, the anesthesiologist came. She brought papers with her and explained everything to me (exactly like in Saudi) and I consent to every words said. Only this time round, the procedure is quite different. And I must say, it is better than the Saudi one. The one I had in Saudi was all at once injection. The needle was 4 inches long and really thick one stuck into my spine. My lower body felt all numb after that in less than 2 minutes and I couldn’t even lift my legs. It was amazing to not feel any labour pain at all but I think it’s better to at least feel something without any pain.

Here, they connected the epidural tube on the built-in wall and attached some needle to my back. I don’t remember where exactly but there was something like a locket hanging on my shoulder which passed epidural into me every 20-40 minutes. Every time it kicked in, it felt chilly a bit. At first, I felt no contraction pain but a bit of pressure at my bottom (bearable) and then the other was feeling a bit like small menstrual cramp. Anyway, epidural delayed delivery time. So from 10am, I was scrolling my phone, chatting, netflixing, and was napping till around 3pm. then Kim came in and said that looking from heart rate and other things (from machine) I was almost 10cm dilated. We should get ready to have little bub come out around 3.45pm or so. How exciting! Adil and Insha went out to the playground and came back once I told them we’re so ready for Nadashi!

“Okayy, you’re contracting now, PUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Kim asked me to have our first push. I did feel small cramp which without epidural, I would feeling being struck by a train and cut myself in 2, literally dying. We tried several times and I took so many deep breathes but Nadashi and my body did not cooperate well. We tried for like 20 mins or so and unsuccessful but baby was still happy not in distress. Then, we needed doctor to come and see the situation. He said that the baby’s head is down and he was curling to the side. His spine was on the side when it supposed to be against your tummy. So, he re-positioned the baby. (Imagine, putting all hand inside the move him from the inside. Oh lord. I felt nothing only pressure without pain while he changed his position. I was exhausted from all the pushing (many times) almost an hour later, doc said, okay, if it’s not coming out this time, we might need to cut lil’bit. I was thinking .. no way. okay, i’ll be pushing all my energy out now so I don’t need that cut just to let him out, nooooo!” This time, I did pushed really hard and I could feel the ball shape was coming out then deep breathe and that long push from the body and then deep breathe that last push till all body parts are out! Like I mentioned, my lower part wasn’t all numb it just no pain from contraction, so I could feel the baby human was coming out. It’s still a trauma. really big trauma. I can’t . I don’t want to do it anymore but maybe one more .. after I saw him for the first time and fell in love all over again. Alhumdullilah for everything. At 4.42pm. healthy baby boy, weight 3.2kg, 52cm in length. was finally out into the world.

In Australia, normally if you have normal child delivery and there’s no complication, you can leave hospital after 6 hours of delivery. I had to stay at least 48 hours because during pregnancy I had GDM so they had to monitor baby’s sugar level. Me and Nadashi spent one night in the hospital and I asked the nurse if we could go home next day because after 24 hours checking his blood pricking test, it was all fine and if I have to,I can prick him at home. I also told the nurse frankly that we’re not covered by insurance so within the deposit limit, I’d prefer to stay one night only. Then she said, the Pediatrician will come check Nadashi and she’ll see if we could go home. Alhumdulillah, all is well so we all went home on the 2nd evening.

Alhumdulillah, all is well and it’s time to go home!

Not only great service from Royal Hospital for Women, we also got NSW Baby Bundle full of baby essentials! (worth of $300); Baby playmat, first aid, room temperature indicator, baby Australian books, nappy cream, hand sanitizer, changing mat, baby swaddle, baby sleeping bag, baby milestones card, breast-pad, diaper bag.

Once we’re home, my personal midwife who I’ve visited during prenatal check-up come visit us at home. One day after deliver and the other 2 days during first week post-delivery. Overall, to check my health and baby’s. Checking baby’s weight, baby jaundice, checking on how he latch, checking my recovery etc.

After few days home, hospital also contacted us to have a heading test for Nadashi.

I’m not sure if Nadashi is a good baby or it’s just my biological clock that got used to the wake up in middle of night. But he could sleep longer than Insha as far as I remember. Insha was every 2 hours and Nadashi sleeps 3-5 hours. I even had few dreams before I woke up and realized that I’m a newborn mom, I have to wake him up to feed now. He’s just a deep sleeper!

Thanks for reading about my first week of life. I hope you all have a blessing days ahead.

How much it cost for out-patient delivery cost (For temporary research activity visa 408);

Midwife consulting A$147 (6 visits)

GP visit A$90 and A$60 (twice)

Ultrasound at week 20th A$270

Blood test and glucose testing was covered by our private insurance

Delivery package (A night stay) A$1,383

GDM consult A$77

*The hospital required us to pay deposit of $6,000 2-month before month of admission.

You Are My Sonshine, Nadashi Welcome to the World my dearest son. Nadashi Siripatana, was born on Saturday February, 1st, 2020 Sydney, Australia.

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gettingvetted · 6 years

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why does it have to be a one-upmanship though? I've never heard people say doctors are better than vets, and even if some do, surely smugly saying 'we know so much more' makes you just as bad? Can't we accept that they are both very demanding, difficult jobs in their own ways? There are so many differences I think it's hard to even compare them.

Mk, I told you I wasn’t going to discuss this anymore unless you came off anon, but I think this is important because I know I have a few medblr followers and a lot of not-medical-at-all followers.

This is not one-upsmanship. “Real doctors treat more than one species” is a joke - in response to being treated like we’re not as good as MD’s. You can literally buy T-shirts and bumper stickers with that on them. As I stated when I responded to your original ask, all of us in the veterinary profession have respect for doctors. Another common saying in the field is “I’m in vet med because humans are gross.” But somebody has to treat them, and we’re glad it’s not us. Many of us would prefer that animals come in sans owners. During the rest of this post, keep in mind that I (and the vast majority of vets) respect MD’s because we need them just as much as they need us. But that doesn’t make us any less than them.

You say it’s hard to compare them - you must be on the human medical side. Want to know some similarities?- We go to school for the same amount of time.- The prerequisite courses for getting into school are nearly identical.- We accumulate approximately the same amount of debt from our schooling.- We learn much of the same material. Anatomy, histology, general/systemic pathology, clinical pathology, physiology, neurology, pharmacology, immunology, toxicology, bacteriology, virology, radiology, theriogenology (aka veterinary gynecology), ethics, business, medicine/treatment, surgery, public health, nutrition, epidemiology… except we learn it for every species, not just one. More on that later.- Vets have to learn about humans too, because we have to know how animals can infect humans. For example, we have to know how every single veterinary parasite in our 3-credit, semester-long parasitology class can potentially affect/not affect humans. Med students spend one or two lectures on parasites.

But you’re right, there’s a lot of differences.- Vet schools are 3-4x harder to get into than medical schools.- Vet school is harder, full stop. Not only are we learning the same things as med students, we have to learn it for every animal species plus some human stuff, and we have to be prepared to actually practice after four years of education without an internship or residency to catch us after school is over. Yes, some students will choose to go the internship/residency route, but the majority will not. Another common joke in vet school, which my professors have literally said to my entire class more than once, is “if you wanted it to be easy you should have gone to medical school.”- An MD is unlikely to be injured by their patients on an average day. A vet is.- When I graduate, I will have performed upwards of 50 surgeries on at least 4 species of animals, despite the fact that I have no intention of specializing in surgery. A human medical doctor has to wait until their residency to do even one surgery, and that’s only if they’re specializing in a field that requires surgery on a routine basis.- Upon graduation, for any given patient I may have to be a general practitioner, gastroenterologist, dermatologist, cardiologist, pediatrician, emergency doctor, radiologist, orthopedist, oncologist, behaviorist, endocrinologist, surgeon, dentist, neurologist, internist, pathologist, pharmacologist, pulmonologist, anesthesiologist, OB/GYN, physical therapist, opthalmologist, and more during their lifetime. Medical doctors have to specialize in a single one of these things. Lucky me, I don’t have to choose. Poor me, I have to know every single one of these specialties for every single animal. Hence, knowing more and doing more than MD’s.- Show me a human general practice clinic (or even hospital) where I can come in with a bellyache, vaginal discharge, and diarrhea and have an exam, bloodwork, x-rays, ultrasound, and emergency hysterectomy all in the same department, within 2-3 hours of arrival, and go home the same day if absolutely necessary or at least the next day. Yeah, not gonna happen.- Vets have to pay for equipment/supplies, building expenses/upkeep, and staff salaries in addition to their own salaries, and this is incorporated in the cost of vet care. Human clinics are subsidized so they don’t have to worry about this…- … and still charge upwards of 5-10x as much for the same procedure that a vet does. Here’s a total hip replacement comparison, for example.- Because of the two above points, if a client stiffs a doctor, it’s not a big deal - the government and the practice insurance will cover it. The lights will not go off. If a client stiffs a vet… well that one client might not make the lights go off, but now the vet isn’t going to be able to offer clinic-based payment plans because they simply can’t afford to be stiffed anymore. Some practices won’t even send a bill and instead require payment up front, because collections cost more than the bill is worth (that’s how low veterinary bills tend to be, comparatively), and these clinics will still get slammed on Facebook/Yelp/Google for “only caring about money and forcing me to pay upfront when my puppy was dying.”- Humans are required to have insurance, but pets are not. This leads to a lot of emotionally demanding decisions for both the vet and owner (I can’t afford his care - do I put him down? surrender him to the clinic if they’re able to take him? bring him home and let him die? toss him to a shelter and let him suffer?) and a lot of emotionally demanding owners ( “If you really loved animals you would treat him for free” - well yes Becky, but I have to eat and pay my student loans/mortgage too…)- Despite our similar educational debt load, my average salary will be less than half of an MD’s. And people still think we charge too much and make too much and try to guilt us into performing services or giving items at a discount or for free.- Vets can put patients down. While this is usually a blessing, it does mean that patients we’ve treated since they were babies are now dying because we can’t do anything to save them, whether due to owner finances or inability to cure a terminal illness. That’s hard enough as it is, but then you get clients who are moving, had a baby, don’t want the pet for whatever reason, and demand you put the animal down instead of doing something else to try to rehome it - “convenience euthanasias.” Both types take an emotional toll on vets, and euthanasias happen every day, usually multiple times.- A vet’s work-life balance is notoriously terrible. Non-ER MD’s can turn away people who walk in at 4:55 when the practice closes at 5. Vets often can’t (or don’t). Because our patient care is so much more involved, it’s rare for vets or vet staff to be able to leave on time even from general practice, and that says nothing for emergency care or the many vets who are on call nights, weekends, holidays… At the first practice I worked at, staff members got to choose one (1) holiday PER YEAR to get off, and were expected to work every weekend.- Due to the previous 5 points, suicide and mental illness in the veterinary field is at an all-time high. Vets are twice as likely to commit suicide than an MD. It’s alarming, and the field is working to change it, but not much can be done on a national scale.

In fact, maybe you’re right. Maybe there really is no comparison. If you read all that, I think you’ll understand that vets have earned a little bit of wiggle room to poke some harmless fun at their “real doctor” colleagues.

Oh, and not to mention the biggest difference between MD’s and DVM’s, but...

#ask #anon #vet med #vet school #vet

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mysteryofjotun · 5 years

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My Destiny – chapter 10

summary: making a mistake after having way too many drinks can change everything

pairing: ceo!tom x female reader

warnings: none?

word count: 3k

a/n: Hey guys, it's my ya girl. I'm FINALLY back, it was about time. I didn't plan on making you wait that long. My life is just a complete mess at the moment and I didn't find time to get something done. I'm so sorry for the delay ;; I can't tell you when the next chapter will come. I'll try my best to write as fast as possible! Thank you so much for still sticking with me, you're all the best! As always, I’m sorry for all the possible mistakes (I’m like 100% sure that there is plenty of it! And I’ll correct them later!) It’s possible that some turn of phrase or else are awkward, that’s because English’s not my mother tongue. Feedback is always welcome, feel free to ask me/tell me anything. The taglist is open if some of you are interested.

Two short months had passed since the night Tom had come back. And he never left again. You didn't really know if he still saw her and you didn't want to think about it. You wanted to believe that he really chose you for what you really were and not because of the baby you were waiting for. You wanted to believe in his feelings. You always kept this little apprehension and restraint, your feelings were present, but you didn't want it to get the upper hand. Because after all, you could only be a passing thing. You didn't really have the opportunity to talk about the contract for a while so you weren't sure if it still stands. And you probably wouldn't ask him, you already had enough on your mind.

Tom's attitude made you think quite the opposite, that he had set the contract aside or even shredded it. He was so enthusiastic about you and the baby. He always had a little thought, whether in the morning at breakfast or in the evening when he came home from work. Now that you were in your fourth month of pregnancy, your little belly started to show and he loved to touch it. The first few times, you were quite embarrassed. Tom never really touched you, except for that night and the time he kissed you. However you got used to it quickly, and the baby too. He moved non-stop the day, not giving you a moment of calm. As soon as Tom arrived he calmed down. The baby was not even born yet that it was already hooked to Tom. He had that power over people, you fell for his charm too quickly.

Lately, it's been the same every day. Your only activities were to read, get out Tessa (but always with someone, most often one of the twins or Harrison, the Holland were scared that something might happen to you), and occasionally see Dylan and Lizzy. Not that going out didn't really miss you, but it was the fact of being always watched who weighed you a little. Nikki and Dom were adorable and would do anything for you, but it was quite stifling. Especially from Nikki. You'll never thank her enough for what she did for you, but sometimes it was too much. You took advantage of the fact that the house was empty, which was rare nowadays, to sit comfortably in the big sofa of the living room to read a book, Tessa lying at your side, head securely against your stomach. If anyone stuck it in this house it was Tessa. She didn't let anybody she didn't know get close to you and always stayed by your side, except of course when Tom was out walking her. At that moment she was completely unaware to you. Like every day other days, you waited for Tom's return, with always in mind the fact that he could leave at any time.

——

Tom was constantly tired and it didn't come from his work. He knew where it came from, though he preferred not to think about it. That was a bad thing, there were people he needed to take care of now. It was always easier to ignore it and think about something else.

And to think about something else he didn't have to go very far. He just had to go home and find you. Most of the time, when he came back you were waiting for him with a book in his hand and Tessa by your side. And that was the only thing that matters right now. Tom had decided to no longer overthinking things and appreciated the present moment. Of course, Leah was still there somewhere but she wasn't the one who mattered, at least not for the moment. He seemed to be in a great place about it, strangely enough. And that convinced him about his choice.

He came out of his thoughts when someone knocked on the window of his car. He turned his head to find Harry, looking at him somewhat dazed.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked once Tom lowered the glass.

“What’s it look like? I’m going home,” Tom retorted.

“You’ve been seated here for 10 minutes straight. Without moving.”

“I was thinking.”

“Oh, you can think?” Harry said mockingly.

“Move, you div,” Tom laughed raising the glass and getting out of the car.

“She’s waiting for you, you know,” Harry said leaning on Tom’s car, waiting for him to walk back home.

“I know, I don’t want to keep her waiting. And I need to take Tessa for a walk.”

“You’re a lucky bastard,” Harry laughed putting his right arm on Tom’s shoulder. “She’s really great,” he added more seriously.

“Yeah,” Tom smiled.

Tom knew how lucky he was, he was aware of it. Another person wouldn't stand what he had done to you. You were special and he only realized it now. They both came back, it was quite late so Tom didn't think you waited. Tessa ran up when she heard the front door open and recognized Tom's steps. You had tried to stay awake as long as you could but sleep got the best of you. You did nothing special in the day but the little peanut inside you gave you no peace. Tom came back from his daily walk with Tessa and was surprised to find you asleep in a strange position on the living room couch. He took a few minutes to watch you before eventually waking you up. He had never felt that way with Leah. He couldn't put words on how he felt, but he knew it was entirely different from all his previous relationships – not that he had tons of them. He was more the kind of guy to only have one-night stands and not be serious. Not wanting to disturb you in your slumber, he held you in his arms and brought you to your room – as calmly and safely as possible – to place you in the bed. Tessa, behind him, was thrilled to jump on the bed and lie down at your feet, watching over you.

——

"Tom, we’re going to be late," you shouted from the living room.

You had an appointment to know the baby's gender and you didn't want to be late. As if the day wasn't already stressful enough, there was a big charity gala tonight. It will be your first appearance since the disaster of the last time. However this time, you'll be joining as Tom's wife, not as a secretary or a mistress. His wife.

"I’m coming, here I am," he replied descending the stairs and putting on his leather jacket.

You took a few moments to admire him. It wasn't often that he dressed as casual. You were more accustomed to costumes, though you quickly got used to the jogging t-shirt he wore when he came home. You always had a hard time telling yourself that all of this "belonged to you" and that you could say that it was your husband. It was crazy and insane for you. Not so long ago, you had a job of misery – even if technically you liked it, it was the atmosphere that was shabby – a trashy boyfriend and you lived in a flatting situation with your best friend. And there you shared a beautiful house with a Greek god and you were surrounded by great people. Of course, without all the problems you had to meet on your way. But of a rather optimistic nature, you put them aside, taking advantage of this break to enjoy your pregnancy. The ride to the gynaecologist's office was quiet, Tom drove as carefully as he could, his hand secured on your stomach. A habit he took these past few months. Once arrived, we called you quickly, after all, you were late. Tom didn't want to admit it – you had never seen so much bad faith in anyone before. You just laughed at his bad faith. A nurse guided you to the doctor's surgery where she was waiting for you. When you entered the room, she got up and greeted you before inviting you to sit down.

“I’m happy to see you both here today,” the middle-aged woman said joyfully. “The father’s presence is really important for the baby as much as for the mother.”

“I do my best,” Tom admitted.

“I can see it, your presence today is the proof.”

Tom smiled and held your hand tighter as he listened to the ob-gyn’s words. After the many recalls, the consultation began. You got up and headed to the examination table, Tom on your heels.

“We’ll know the baby gender today, right?” the woman smiled while she applied the icy gel on your belly.

“Yes,” Tom rushed to answer, which made you smile.

“Someone is in a hurry,” the ob-gyn laughed.

“Kind of...” you smiled.

The exam went on normally, the doctor took her time to explain everything that was happening on the screen. Tom couldn't stay still and literally drank in the doctor's words. It made you enthusiastic to see him like that and you couldn't imagine the latter with mini you running in the Holland property.

“What?” Tom smiled at you. You didn’t even realize you were staring at him.

“Nothing,” you blushed, looking away.

"Congratulations! It's a girl!" the woman said happily.

"A girl," Tom repeated not believing his eyes.

A little girl, he was going to be a dad. These words hit him hard. Now it was hard facts. You knew the gender and you will soon look for a name. Whereas before, he knew she was there, he saw the belly grow from month to month and he didn't forget about its existence but it was easier to put it aside. To act as if nothing had happened. But now he couldn't bury his head in the sand any more. He was going to be a dad and taking care of a family. And that, it terrified him much more than he would dare to admit.

"You’re not happy?"

"I'm beyond happy! I… I don’ know what to say. I’m at loss of words." Tom declared quickly. "And I need to call my mum! Oh my god, she'll be so happy. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Hum," you said as he kissed the top of your head.

When Tom came out, the doctor waited a few minutes before speaking. Making sure that the young man wouldn't resurface.

"You seem a lot closer than during the last appointment. In fact, you’re like chalk and cheese.”

"Ah, yeah" you replied awkwardly. "He made a lot of efforts for the baby. I’m hopeful.. for both of us.”

"Does he.. he treat you well?"

"Of course! Why wouldn’t he?"

"Well, pregnancy can also be hard to live for the husband. And it’s the first time he came to an appointment."

"He’s busy."

"I believe you, but you shouldn’t glorify him. You must also communicate so that all these emotions don't eat you up inside, especially with your poor record."

"Yes doctor, don't worry, he takes really good care of me and does his best to free himself as much as possible."

And as if Tom had felt that you were talking about him, he returned to the room, a big smile on his face.

"I'll leave you a few moments, while I'm going to print the ultrasounds," she said before leaving the room, giving you a big smile.

Tom sat next to you, taking your hand. But as you had to get dressed, you let go of it.

"What did Nikki say?" asked him, putting on your shirt. "She asked how you were doing and she literally popped my eardrum when I told her it was a girl." "A bit of femininity in this family won't hurt," you laughed. "And wait to see the reaction of my brothers," he added laughing in his turn.

A silence settled between you two again. As you continued buttoning your shirt, Tom cleared his throat ready to talk.

"Uhm ..." he said moving to be in front of you.

You raised your head when you heard the sound of his voice. He took your hand in his. You lowered your head and he put his fingers under your chin so that you could look at him.

"I'm really happy we can start this family together, really," he said looking at you straight in the eyes. "I absolutely don't regret my choices and this appointment really comforts me on my choices." You lowered your head again, facing his words. "Look at me," he said gently stroking your right cheek. You blushed, not quite accustomed to his gestures of affections. "Can I kiss you?"

You looked intensely at him, blushing again. You just nodded, not finding the words. You didn't actually know if it was a wise choice. On one side your rational side told you not to do it, that he was just trying to soften you and then make you suffer but your less rational side wanted to this kiss, you wanted to succumb. And that's what you were going to do. You chose weakness – it wasn't surprising. He pressed his forehead to yours, raising your head smoothly and pressed his lips to yours delicately. Tom didn't push things, he took his time. He didn't depend the kiss, it wasn't what he was looking for, he wanted to convey these feelings. Someone cleared its throat which cut short the kiss. You raised your head and saw the gynaecologist with a big smile. You blushed even more because of the surprise. Tom turned, scratching the back of his head – a nervous tic.

"Here's your picture, lovebirds," she laughed, as she gave Tom the scan.

——

"Are you sure it's not ridiculous?" You asked Nikki through the bathroom door, "My belly is really starting to show ..." "Of course not, that's not ridiculous!" She replied outraged. "Would you prefer something more fluid?" "Yes, please," you added, still hiding in the bathroom.

This night was important. Tom was going to introduce you as his wife. And you really hoped that everything would be better than the last time. Tom promised you, but what did he know after all? Nikki had absolutely wanted to pick you a dress, tearing you away from Tom when you came home. Usually, her enthusiasm was a communicator and made you happy but right now it stressed you. This night was designed to stress you out.

"Put this on," Nikki said knocking softly on the door. "You're beautiful," Nikki exclaimed as she finally looked at you coming out of the bathroom.

"Thank you," you stuttered.

You weren't really accustomed to receiving compliments, especially from someone other than your mother. You turned to admire yourself in the mirror. The dress was black and made of a very fluid fabric. Your shoulders were partly bare, with embroidered sleeves. You touched the baby bump that you could guess through the dress. This dress really looked good on you.

"So?" Nikki asked excited by the fittings. "Waoh," a voice said behind you two, cutting you before you could open your mouth. You went back and saw Tom in the dressing room. You lowered your head so that he didn't notice the crimson shade of your cheeks.

"I think it's... not bad," you said to answer Nikki's question. "It's even better than not bad, Y / N, you're gorgeous," he said, kissing your cheek, increasing your blush. Nikki couldn't stop smiling.

——

"Tom, lucky bastard," Harry said tapping him on the shoulder and looking at you in the distance. Nikki and Dom had insisted on presenting you - or at least showing you to their friends at the charity gala. Hum," he said sipping his bourbon. He couldn't look anywhere else, you were breathtaking. You looked up and your eyes met. You apologized to the people to whom you were and went to Tom.

Once in front of him, he took your hand and brought you closer, protectively. "No alcohol?" he said, pointing to your glass. "No alcohol sir," you answered sarcastically. As if you were going to risk drinking, especially after your appointment. "Do you want to come home?" He asked, taking your hand in his and playing with one of your fingers.

"No, it's good we can stay." You lie, feeling uncomfortable. Since the beginning of the evening, you could feel the eyes of people on you, even worse than last time. "Are you sure?" He asked you, staring at you trying to disclose your lie. "Yes yes," you continued before adding. "And I know how important this evening is to you, I don't want to ruin your chances, Tom." "It's not that important," he lied.

In fact, this evening was more than important for him. It was in those kinds of parties that he made the most contracts and contacts. However, he was trying to think about anything except for himself, it was hard enough for him but he really tried. So, if you felt bad, he would come home with you. After all, his brothers were there. Even if deep down, he would like to bring back the biggest contract, it was just an ego thing.

You only looked at him with a 'don't bullshit me' look on your face. "Okay, maybe it's important. But you too are important," he said.

You continued to chat about everything and nothing. Tom introduced you to some of his partners. Tom was in a conversation with a group of men and women when you saw him. You would recognize his superior appearance from miles around. A shiver ran down your spine. As if Tom could have felt your discomfort, he looked at you, questioning you with his eyes. You smiled at him to convince him and he returned to his conversation. You couldn't stop looking around, praying he wouldn't see you. You were fearing he would make a fuss like last time. After a moment, Tom apologized to the group of people and took you by the arm, moving away.

"What's the matter?" Tom asked "Nothing," you answered softly. "I can obviously see that something is wrong, it's the baby?" "No no," you say. "It's ... it's just that I saw someone I didn't want to see." "Who is that?" "Harold," you whispered.

"I didn't hear anything," he replied as he leant on you. He couldn't hear anything because of the noise around you. "Harold," you repeated louder. Tom turned around and looked around the room. His eyes finally found his mark and sighed with annoyance. "I had done everything so that he wouldn't be here tonight, I'm sorry." "It doesn't matter, you have nothing to do with it."

"Look at him strutting like a cockerel," he said, anger slightly rising in him. "We'll see who's going to be humiliated this time." Tom started walking toward him when you stopped him. "Stop it. That's stupid." You said while holding back Tom. "If you do that you'll be even worse than him." "Not even torture him a bit?" Tom asked hopefully. "No," you said seriously. After a moment of silence, he came back, not giving up.

“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”

“Yes.”

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

“Tom, stop,” you said hitting his chest. “C-Can we leave?” you asked shyly.

“Of course, princess,” he said.

You blushed, your cheeks turning crimson red at the name use. He took your hand and you left under the gaze of Tom’s family taken aback of seeing you leaving this early.

tags : @deadlyaffairs @hbmoore1986 @bellagrayson-wayne @smexylemony @aquawomxn @meyrapp @champagnesugamama @let-me-luve-you @vogueworthy-barnes @tmrhollandkay @avatarkyoshithewarrior @hollandertom2013 @tomshufflepuff @fnosidam @tryn25 @margauxa29 @hannahholland1811 @whatareyouhidingpeter @ultimategalaxyprogram @parkerssweb @justmesadgirl @loxbbg @andreuskystuff @hazosterfield-and-mcu

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfics #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x oc #peter parker #peter parker imagines #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x reader

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percontaion-points · 2 years

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The Truth in Lies chapters 2 & 3

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 2

I felt conscious of myself, having Drew evaluate my appearance in such a way. Had he told me I was ugly, I would’ve believed him. Nate never paid me a compliment, and if he did, it was because I begged for it. Yet, he always found it easy to find the wrongs in me.

Girl, what the hell are you doing staying with such a goddamned loser?

I adjusted my position, suddenly feeling the [business] card poke me in the hip.

WTF is that card made out of? A diamond?

‘You’re not a failure. You’re a survivor. Call me. –Drew’

Chapter 2 summary: McKenzie goes home, where she forces herself to eat. And then as a “reward” for having done some things like go for a run and eat, she decides to go sit in the nursery. Everything has been taken down except for the rocking chair, so she sits in there, intent on wallowing in her grief. Instead, she randomly starts daydreaming about the hot guy she saw on the beach.

Her friend, Olivia, shows up then, having gotten in using the spare key McKenzie had given her. She insists that McKenzie needs to get out of the house, so she invites her over to dinner that night.

McKenzie goes, where she's surprised to see that the hot guy she'd seen on the beach that morning is Olivia's new boyfriend. And to make matters worse, Drew recognizes McKenzie, too. And it's kind of awkward. To add to that awkward meter, Drew's brother, Gavin, shows up. With his fiancee, who was McKenzie's OB/GYN.

They sit down to eat and make awkward small-talk throughout the meal. After, Olivia pulls Morgan away to talk wedding plans. And I guess Gavin went with them, because Drew and McKenzie are suddenly alone.

He asks if she's okay, and she off-loads on him about her miscarriage and her failing relationship. He pointedly tells her that she's not going to get better until she decides to either put the effort into her relationship with Nate or to kick him to the curb. He then pulls out a business card and tells her to call her at any time.

Drew leaves quickly after that. When he's gone, McKenzie asks Olivia if it's okay if she calls Drew sometime. Olivia is just glad that McKenzie is taking an interest in literally anything at this point, and agrees that it would be nice.

Chapter 3

“We’re going to be all right, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know,” I repeated. Tears filled my eyes, threatening to spill over. “I feel lonely all the time.”

“I know.” He reached out to touch my hand, but then pulled back, balling his hand into a fist. “But I don’t know how to fix it.”

And he somehow thinks that literally never being around is somehow going to fix their relationship?

“I have. That’s why I came home early. I had hoped to find you here, but instead

you were out with your friends. You can spend time with them but not with me.”

He literally just said that he expects for her to put her life on hold while he goes off and does god-knows-what in locations unknown.

HE'S NOT EVEN THERE, BUT HE EXPECTS HER TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR HIM IN THE EVENT THAT HE DOES DECIDE TO COME HOME EARLY.

“Do you really think that it’s escaped my attention how often you two hang out? Let’s face it; he was more than happy to take my place at the sonogram, wasn’t he?”

Is this guy for real? DON'T YOU THINK THAT MCKENZIE WOULD HAVE PREFERED TO HAVE HER BABYDADDY AT THE APPOINTMENTS INSTEAD OF HER FRIEND?! What a goddamned conceited piece of shit.

Closing my swollen, heavy eyes, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 3 summary: On her way back home, McKenzie thinks about how she's going to ask her friends to help her pack up her house and move out before Nate gets back in a few days. But when she opens up the garage, she finds Nate's car in there.

She finds him in the bedroom, listening to sad music. She's reminded of how they met in a club, and bonded over a shared love of classic rock. How they'd argue about things and then bang to the same music they'd just been fighting over.

She goes in and confronts him about how he's never there for her. Full stop. He says that he wants to make things right “but doesn't know how”. Eventually, this leads to a huge fight where McKenzie says that she doesn't want to see him. Full stop. However, because he's this master manipulator, he convinces her to fuck him one last time.

McKenzie wakes up at 3 AM and curses herself for how stupid she was. She grabs her things and leaves the house. She calls Olivia, who says that the front door will be unlocked, and that they'll talk at a more decent hour. So McKenzie goes over there, and falls asleep quickly.

#The Truth in Lies Saga #The Truth In Lies (TTIL Saga)#chapter 02 #chapter 03 #Andrew (TTIL)#McKenzie (TTIL)#Nathan (TTIL)#shitty men are shitty #what the fuck #i'm done goodbye #Olivia (TTIL)#Gavin (TTIL)#Dr. Morgan Carter #I cannot deal with this #toxic relationship

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itscarlawthac · 4 years

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Life Update (After 3 years!)

Are you still there? Maybe after three years of me being in a hiatus due to the demands of medicine, you have probably stopped following me here on Tumblr. Some of you I have become friends in other social networking sites but it’s good to be back, I guess.

After three long years of not writing, I finally got my medical degree. I am now a fully licensed physician and is currently working my ass off to become an OB GYN. Cos’ your girl loves to push herself real hard. After my medical school proper at the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila, I took my clerkship and internship at Ospital ng Maynila. Then after much thinking, I finally decided to continue with residency again at OM. So I am now a full fledged Batang Maynila since high school.

It is already 2020 and we are in the middle of a pandemic. And sadly, the Philippines is not doing so good. I am in the frontlines being a first year medical resident. I man our ER, wards and Outpatient department. I sometimes do the triaging. Are you wondering how I can write right now? I am on rest duty = 3 days off but I resume my 3-day straight duty tomorrow. I’ll be working my ass of again, deal with mothers, give birth, repair episiotomies do caesarean sections and all the things OB GYN doctors do! It is really tiring but at the same time rewarding. It feels good to assist in bring life to the world. However, these times are not ideal for having a baby.

The PH government does not have the proper strategy to combat the virus. It has been tackling all other issues including shutting down a network, approving the Anti-Terror Bill (which does more harm than good), except the pandemic. It is so unsafe to give birth at this time. I pity every child I deliver thinking how he could not have the safe freedom I had. How he cannot have the same childhood experiences and bountiful resources. People are losing their jobs left and right. Our transportation business is not doing well because of the pandemic. Thank God I now earn for a living. Life has not been easy but I am now financially independent. Finally! I now pay for our bills, the gas, groceries and I now contribute to our gatherings. I love how I could buy whatever I like within my budget. Hahaha

I don’t know when I will be able to write again. Much more, write with any sense aside from a virtual diary. I miss writing with substance. I miss journalism and creative writing. I’ll try my best though.

Keep safe. Always wear your masks.

#pandemic #ospital ng maynila #musings #medexperience

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lunardragon00 · 7 years

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Really

Working at a hospital was difficult. First came the internships that were a complete ass. Then the residency, which was nice because it involves more hands on surgery. Then being an attending. Practically the top dogs. It was fun. Being around the same people everyday, you get to know them, and become friends. Just like you and y/f/n. Best friends since internship. You and y/f/n we’re almost opposites, but helped each other through everything. Y/f/n was married now with a little baby girl while you were still looking for your McDreamy.

“Oh come on y/n, not one guy here has interested you?” Y/f/n exclaimed.

Speaking of relationships.

“No, nada. None of them interest me. Sure I’ve gotten a drink or two with some of them. But they’re not boyfriend material. For me at least.” She always bugged you about finding a guy. And you knew she just wanted to help and make you happy, but no such luck has happened.

“What about the new guy, was it Dr. Schneeplestein. He’s cute.”

And he was, he was handsome. But also, a little too crazy for you. But you were positive he would make an amazing friend. Actually, he is an amazing friend.

“Are you kidding me. He may be cute, but honestly, he seems to have a few screws loose.” One of the nurses walked up to the table you and y/f/n were currently sitting with your coffees.

“Dr. Y/l/n, Dr. y/f/l/n. Dr. Bailey has assigned you to take dr. Schneeplestein and Dr. iplier for a tour of the hospital.” Unbelievable, wait, iplier?

“Why us? And who the hell is iplier?” Y/l/n just shrugged and got up. You did as well, grabbed your coffee, and followed the nurse.

“So do you know anything about these doctors?” Y/f/n asked.

“Dr. Iplier is a close friend to Dr. schneeplestein. They��ll both be attendings. Dr. Schneeplestein is part of cardio while Dr. iplier will be in Pediatrics.” A cardio expert and a kid doctor. Wow. The nurse stopped at the nurses station and told us that the two said doctors were in the lobby, having just arrived. As y/f/n and You walk towards the area, she decides to continue the annoying conversation about your pathetic love life.

“I’m just saying. There is someone out there for you. You will not die lonely.”

“Oh how would you know. You have a lovely husband and an adorable little girl. You’ve lived. I haven’t. And I never will.” Y/f/n just rolled her eyes. Approaching the lobby, you spot the German doctor with yellow/green hair. Y/f/n was still rambling on about helping you find someone. Meanwhile you couldn’t hear a single word that was coming out of her mouth.

Why?

Because beside the weird, psychotic doctor, was a very handsome one. Dark brown, nearly black hair with deep brown eyes. He was also muscular, since the grey muscle tank showed off his body, along with his white sweats. You didn’t realized you stopped walking until your best friend was in front of you.

“Hey, earth to y/n? HELLO?!” You blinked your eyes and looked into her e/c eyes.

“Umm. What?” She looked in the direction you were dazing off too. Once she was facing you again, she had a smile planted on her face.

“Could it be. Have you actually found someone?” She had a light laugh escape her mouth. You just continued walking.

“For all we know, he could be a complete douche. But he is attractive.”

“Oh honey, he’s not just attractive. He’s freaking McSteamy right now. Let’s go meet him.”

Once you finally approached the pair, they stopped their conversation and faced you.

“Vhy hello Dr. y/f/l/n and Dr. y/l/n. This is my vriend Dr. iplier.” Iplier bowed his head and smiled softly.

“Hi I’m y/n. This is my best friend y/f/n.” You stuck your hand out towards iplier. Once he shook it, you swear you felt calm and sparks. You two made eye contact and you fell into the deep brown void of his eyes. You both let go and he shook y/f/n’s.

“Well let’s get this tour started shall we.” All of you nod and start walking.

Y/f/n led the way throughout the tour. Schneeplestein paid attention a majority of the time. Both him and iplier asked questions here and there. But both you and iplier were too distracted with each other. Both of you stealing glances at each other the entire time. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~ It’s the end of the day and you and y/f/n were on your way to the parking lot.

“So, is he McDreamy yet?” She asked. Wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not sure about if he is McDreamy. But he sure does look like a McDreamy” you both laughed and linked arms exiting the hospital together. ….. ……..

———-

_________________

(3 months later)

It’s been 3 months of conversing, flirting, and getting to know dr. Iplier. Every day, you fell in love with him. You couldn’t resist him. He’s just charming, and his personality makes him 10 times more charming. He’s definitely a McDreamy.

But what you don’t know is that he feels the same for you. Ever since he first saw you he knew that he’d fall for you. How could he not when you have such beautiful h/c hair, e/c eyes, and the perfect body. You two were now best friends. Everyone knew you guys at the hospital. You were the amazing group of friends everyone wishes they had. It contained you, y/f/n, Schneeplestein, and Iplier. While everyone knew that scneeple was a player with the ladies, they also knew that you and iplier have this unspoken love for each other. Everyone wishes that you two would just get together.

During break, you went into the on call room. You had just finished a surgery on a little baby, fixing his lungs. You specialized as an OB GYN. It was something that you loved doing. But it was also very depressing when little infants did on you. Thankfully, the newborn survived the operation. Now you just wanted to relax and get rid of the stress. Your head hit the pillow and you closed your eyes. Only to have them open again when the door opens and in walks the man that made your heart pound.

“Oh, hey y/n.” He smiled softly at you and you returned it. He sat down on the edge of the bed you were currently laying on.

“How did it go?” You asked. He had a 7 year old patient named Mason that needed surgery. He had an illness that no one has succeeded at healing yet.

“He made it through the operation but were keeping him over night to watch over him.” You nod and closed your eyes. A small smile was left on your face.

“Hey y/n? I need to ask you something.” You hummed to acknowledge that you heard. All the sudden your hand felt soft, and war hands holding it.

“So I’ve been having these feelings lately. I asked my friend Bim, Dark, and Goog what it could possibly be. They said that the feeling was…..maybe love towards someone? I dont know. But I was wondering. Maybe me and you could go out to Joe’s tonight. Or somewhere else. I know you like ferrys. We could ride one.” By now you are seated up straight and eyes wide.

“Oh, umm.” You honestly didn’t know what to say. You were too surprised.

“Or you know. Just completely forget I said anything. I should probably check on Mason anyways.” He started getting up but before he could fully stand. He was brought back down onto the bed and was engulfed into a hug.

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you.” You giggled into his chest. His arms wrapped around you and you felt the vibrations from his chuckle. You felt a soft kiss to the top of your head before being let go of.

“Great. I guess we’ll just go after work.” He said. A bright smile plastered on both of your faces. You nod and looked down at your lap.

“Well I should go check on Mason. Been a while since I checked on him last.” He got up again and looked down at you. You looked up at him and nodded. Once he left the room. You laid your face on the pillow and squealed into the fluffy item. ….. ……..

———-

_________________ ( 2 years later)

Since all of marks ego’s lived in one big mansion. Iplier decided it was a good idea to let you move in with him there. Of course you agreed. Meeting the other boys was very…..interesting. All of the ego’s can agree that you were good for the doctor. Ever since he started working at the hospital, he’s come home much more peaceful and always happy and smiling. They thought the reason was because he liked it there and the people were nice. Well, that was a small portion of the reason why. Once they all met you, they realized that YOU were the light in his eyes. The way you two looked at each other was so full of love and care. And that was before you two became an official couple. After you started dating, it was overwhelming. The boys adored you, they would never intentionally hurt you.

So when Wilford went to get the mail, he saw an envelope that had all of the ego’s names on it. Except for Doctor ipliers.

“Hey guys, we’ve got mail.” Will said loud enough so everyone heard. The men gathered around and listened as will read the note. Once he was finished reading, they started decorating the living room and kitchen. They wanted to celebrate.

What the note said you ask?

~•~•~Please join Dr. Iplier and Y/N Y/L/N for their wedding

April 30, 2017 6 o'clock in the evening ~•~•~

….. ……..

———-

_________________

( 2years later.)

Doctors Mark and Y/n iplier are proud to announce the arrival of Jax Mason Iplier and Vilu Esme Iplier into their family. The happy couple, now with twins, seem to be succeeding at life. Iplier and Y/f/l/n hospital had been up and running for over a year now. Hopefully they keep up the good work and continue being happy.

....................... (55 years later)

We are sad to announce that Dr. y/n y/m/n Iplier has passed away due to natural causes. We will keep the iplier family in our thoughts and prayers. ________________________ (7 months later)

We are sad to announce the death of Doctor Mark Edward Iplier. At least we know that him and his love will be together once again. We will send our prayers out to the Iplier family.

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leisurelypanda · 7 years

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Here We Go Again chapter 4

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11776227/chapters/27061308

They managed to make an appointment with Michael’s ob-gyn, Dr. Whittaker for the following Thursday. In the next couple days, Craig was a bundle of excitement. He spent some time upstairs, trying to decide whether he should have the new child sleep in River’s room with her or whether they should convert the spare room into a second nursery. Michael thought that it was a bit early to be planning anything until they knew how far along he was, but he honestly loved how ecstatic the idea of having another child made his bro. He remembered his first interaction with Joseph and how he had joked that anyone with more than 2 kids had to be crazy. Now he worried whether he might be crazy himself. They had Amanda, who was in college. They had the twins, who were in elementary school. River would be 2 by the time he gave birth, she’d be starting to walk and talk and everything.

He hoped that it was a boy, honestly. They had 4 girls already. And he loved all of them (especially Amanda, but who could blame him? He raised her himself), but he honestly was curious as to what it would be like to have a son (whether he was born that way or came out later in life). He could imagine Craig teaching him how to play sports the way he taught his daughters how to play softball (he only knew the basics about soccer, which was enough to kick the ball around with the girls). He saw himself and Amanda teaching him to be a rebellious rascal.

They hadn’t told the kids yet. It was still too soon. That said, nearly everyone who saw Craig knew that he was even more happy and boisterous than he usually was. It was infectious, really. His personal apprehension at being pregnant again was mitigated somewhat by his bro’s enthusiasm. He honestly could not have asked for a better partner to have another child with. He knew, of course, that there were lots of people who had children later in life and were completely fine. But he had lived so long with the message that pregnancy was dangerous later in life that he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. It was a huge help that Craig’s boundless optimism and enthusiasm for the situation was so predominant.

By the time the day of the ob-gyn appointment arrived, Michael was a lot steadier and calmer than he had been when he first received the positive result. Craig went with him, of course. For moral support. The official test echoed the over-the-counter tests and Michael’s doctor, Dr. Whittaker, did a general health assessment to determine the risk of complication during the pregnancy. Michael, it turned out, was about 4 or 5 weeks pregnant.

“You seem much healthier than the last time you scheduled a visit with us,” she remarked. “I’m generally optimistic about your prognosis.”

“So there’s no risk?” Michael asked.

“Well there’s always some risk,” she said. “but I would say that your risk is largely minimal.”

“See, dude?” Craig beamed. “All that running and working out is paying off.”

“Your workout regimen should be scaled back, however,” Dr. Whittaker said. “Don’t overdo it.”

“How much are we talking, here?” Craig asked.

“30 minutes of moderate exercise at least 4 days a week is ideal,” she said. “Avoid heavy lifting. Avoid overheating while working out and saunas, hot tubs, and the like. Yoga sessions for pregnant people would be an excellent option.”

They asked some a few more questions, when around the baby would be born, when they could find out the sex, dieting suggestions to help ensure Michael’s health. When they were done, she handed them a schedule that had visits twice a month every month for the first 6 months and then every week for the last 3 months. As they left the office, Michael felt more optimistic about the situation than he had in days. He was actually a little excited to be pregnant again.

2 weeks after the ob-gyn visit, Michael decided the worst part about being pregnant, aside from the whole throwing up every morning thing, was that he had to limit his intake of caffeine. Which was sort of okay so far, since he hadn’t started feeling tired all the time, but he really hated not being able to drink coffee when he woke up in the morning so he could go into the world without hating literally everyone. The first time Craig said early in the morning that water was better for you anyway, Michael glared groggy, sleepy daggers at him over a mug of said water.

Pregnancy sucks, he thought, sitting at his work desk bitterly wishing he could go get some fucking coffee. He was just tired. All. The. Time. Amanda didn’t give me this much trouble, he tried to telepathically communicate to their little hybrid bro growing in his uterus. Please have mercy on me.

When he was pregnant with Amanda he hadn’t actually been that tired for most of the pregnancy. Just the last month or so. Which was hell, but that was expected. These days, the only way he woke up was by running to the bathroom early in the morning.

He sighed and got back to work. And by work, he meant thinking up baby names for the baby because it was a slow day at the firm and he had finished all the busy work he had for the day. On the sheet of paper in front of him he had a column for boy names and one for girl names. The list of boy names was longer. Bryce. Dakota. Jeremy. Jordan. Aiden. Liam. Julian. Samuel. Landon. Adrian. Brayden. Bryson. Easton. Nolan. Hayden. Leo. Jayce. Chase (the potential for puns would be amazing). Elias. Evan. Asher. Malcolm. Simon. Cameron. Mark. Hunter. Mason. Grayson.

I should really go to human services and tell them that I’m pregnant so no one will be surprised by my frequent need to pee or see my doctor, he thought. That’ll burn, like 30 minutes of my time if I’m lucky. He looked at the clock. 2:30. Maybe I can just leave early to pick up the kids and go home. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Craig got home later that night to find no one home. There was evidence of the twins. Their backpacks were on the kitchen table, homework looked done. But they were nowhere to be found. Finally he heard laughing outside from the back yard and he went out to find his bro and tiny bros running around kicking a soccer ball in the dark with the porch lights on. Michael was carrying River around strapped to his chest, going a little more slowly than his girls so he wouldn’t exert himself. Craig just watched them play for a while. He could get used to seeing his bro and tiny bros running around together. It was a beautiful thing.

Eventually one of them looked up and shouted, “Dad’s home!” They ran up to him and he knelt and grabbed them in one big hug, kissing their heads.

“Hey tiny bros,” he said. “How was school, today?”

“Briar ate a bug at recess,” Hazel said. “It was awesome!”

“Nuh-uh!” she protested. “Hazel ate a bug and she’s trying to pin it on me!”

“Hazel…” Craig said. “What have I told you about impersonating your sister?”

“That it was impulsive and rude?” she asked.

“Yes exactly,” Craig replied. “Except the exact phrase I used was, ‘don’t.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Michael said. “Of your dad, not you Hazel. Don’t impersonate your sister.”

Craig let them go and stood up to kiss his bro. “How are you feeling, bro? How was work?”

Michael sighed into the kiss. “It was boring. I’m tired. I miss coffee. I looked up some baby names.”

“Oh yeah, bro?” he asked, grinning. “Gimme a minute to change and get started on dinner. I wanna hear what you got.”

Craig changed out of his business suit. Michael got out the paper with his list of names and read them aloud as he helped Craig cook dinner. And by help, he mostly just chopped vegetables to throw into the spaghetti. Craig listened and occasionally commented on ones he liked (not surprisingly, he liked any and all nature names). When he was done, Craig produced his list of names and they compared notes.

“Craig, bro, babe, I’m not calling my child Forrest,” Michael insisted.

“What’s wrong with Forrest?” Craig asked. “Forests are awesome!”

“Until you get lost in one,” Michael countered, chopping some mushrooms.

“Whatever, bro. Nature is cool. Nature names are cool,” Craig said. “And may I remind you of how we started dating in the first place?”

“I’m not saying I disagree with you, just not with Forrest,” Michael replied. “And if you ask me, that’s all the more reason to not name our child that. Who wants to be named after the place where their parents first had sex? That would scar them.”

“Bro, I think we need a third opinion.”

“YOU’RE PREGNANT????” Amanda said calmly over the video chat thing. “Skype” the twins had called it. “POPS, I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY I WASN’T THE FIRST TO KNOW!!! Or, you know, at least the second. But why am I JUST NOW hearing about this?”

“Well…” Michael said, “I was nervous about the whole thing so I didn’t want to tell you/make a general announcement until we were a few months along.”

“I can respect that,” Amanda replied. “How far are you along, anyway?”

“The doctor figures I’m about 6-7 weeks pregnant,” he said.

Amanda nodded. “Yeah, I can see why you didn’t want to say anything. So what do you need my opinion on? I’m not giving up my room for the new kid.”

“No worries Manda Panda,” Michael said. “We already moved all your stuff back to the old house.”

“Wait, really?” she said. “Then hell yeah the kid can have my room! I’ll have loud, obnoxious parties all summer and adopt, like 6 dogs!”

“Nope, sorry kiddo,” Craig said. “We’re converting the spare room into another nursery. Briar and Hazel will room together.”

“Well, as long as I get my own space, I’m happy,” she said. “What’s the question, now that we’ve gotten off topic?”

“If the kid turns out to be a boy,” Michael said, “Craig wants to name him Forrest.”

“No.” Amanda said. “My little brother will not be named Forrest.”

“What do you two have against Forrest?” Craig demanded.

“It’s kind of a boring name. No offense, Craig” Amanda said.

“Thanks, Manda Panda,” Michael said.

“We have to name him something nature themed,” Craig said. “I got a whole thing going with my kids.”

“Craig, I hate to break it to you,” Michael said, “but most nature names are feminine names.”

“So?”

“So even though I’m all for breaking the gender binary,” he explained, “I also know what it’s like to be misgendered and I don’t want that for my kids, bro.”

Craig thought for a moment. “I get where you’re coming from, bro,” he said. “I didn’t think about that.”

Michael laid a hand on his. “We have plenty of time to figure out a name, bro,” he said. “We’ll figure it out.”

#craig cahn x dadsona #river cahn #hazel cahn #briar cahn #amanda ann #dream daddy #ddadds #Here We Go Again #fanfic

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thealigshowwww · 7 years

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6months.

It has been officially six months that I have been announced in remission again! It may not sound like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it is actually double the amount of time that I was cancer free for my first battle. After a mere three months, the cancer was back again to bring me back into the boxing ring, however, although it had progressed to stage 4, as it spread to my axillary lymph nodes (in my right armpit to be exact), I was instantly ready to take on the fight and win it, for GOOD. After a failed clinical trial as well as an axillary lymph node dissection, removing 32 potentially cancerous lymph nodes from my armpit, I started on Keytruda, an exceptional immunotherapy drug that has totally changed my world. It involved zero side effects (and from anyone who has been following my journey is aware that any potential side effect that could possibly happen, happened to me! So, with that being said, it was a blissful couple of months on this drug. I was back to work, back to fitness, and truly living my best life after cancer. It felt too good to be true!

On February 14th, 2017, my gyn oncologist brought me into his office with tears in his eyes telling me that my cancer was no more. There was NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE. Those are words that every cancer patient hopes and dreams and prays of hearing and seeing on their scan notes. There were just...no words. No words to describe the relief and empowerment that I felt that moment, It was truly inexplicable.

That day, I enjoyed drinks at the Liberty Hotel in Boston with my best friends, that were bought for us by an incredibly kind and mysterious stranger. We then continued to celebrate with dinner in Downtown Faneuil Hall in Boston & were just filled with positive emotions all around.

Six months of being cancer free must mean it was spent similarly to the few hours post-knowledge of the outstanding news, however, the same exact day began a new 6 month battle that I was not even close to prepared for. That night after indulging in the love of my friends as well as the incredible cuisine that Beantown had to offer, I was faced with the beginning of the scariest experience of my life, all thanks to radiation damage. It started with severe stomach pain and vomiting, high fever and chills, and just not feeling like myself at all, within minutes I was EXTREMELY sick. I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance, and little did I know that is where I would stay on the better side of 3 months, getting to go home for a couple of days, only to need to return with emergency issues very quickly. I never imagined in my wildest nightmares that the side-effects from cancer treatment were just as deadly as the cancer itself, but that was the reality I faced. After several months of my life that I will never get back that were spent in a room where the windows don’t open, unable to eat or drink anything for months at a time, and so far away from my family and hometown friends, I was in my own version of hell. I am not going to get into the details of everything I experienced as the days went on, because you would literally be staring at your computer screen at my Tumblr page for hours, and time is precious (get outside! haha, jk, kinda..). However, I have seven new scars, one being 10 inches long vertically down my abdomen, to show for my months spent in hell, in the depths of the darkest places your mind can go, and I will NEVER return there, to that negative space that took so much from me in my mind, in that room, with no fresh air. I have prided myself incredibly on my strength throughout my battle, and my perseverance and resilience in the worst of situations and I truly tried my best with this one, but there is something about being stuck in a hospital room, unable to eat, with tubes coming from every angle of your body, unable to move, eventually needing to teach myself to walk again, but able to think all of the thoughts you were always thinking prior. I had just landed a brand new amazing job! I had just gotten my body strong enough to get in the best shape of my entire life! I had lost the stubborn college weight and was ready to take on the world, go to graduate school, and accomplish all of the things that I had to put on hold for so long because of cancer -- but here I was, in this room, with no fresh air, and I could not breathe. There was no other way than to dig down deeper than I EVER have before, and find what truly mattered. Finding what would still be there after I live to tell this story, and what will continue to be there for me to experience for the rest of my life. That dream job wasn’t going anywhere, grad school was not going anywhere, but my health WAS, it was declining and I knew I needed to pull myself together mentally to beat this, or else I would continue to be stuck in this hospital, in that room, with no fresh air.

I now have been out of the hospital (minus a couple of minor E.R. trips) since the end of June, and, although I still am dealing with a couple of medical issues that need constant attention, and still needing TPN (Total Parenteral Nutriton), which is a daily 12 hour I.V. that I must do nightly so that my body can absorb the necessary amount of nutrition while my intestines work on healing so that they can one day absorb everything that I eat, seamlessly.

If there is one thing that I will always have in my life, it will be the faith that it is no accident that this all happened to me. I know that I am meant to learn from this and carry it with me into my old age, and use it in my profession and in my every day life. If I thought I appreciated the beauty I saw in the little things before -- PSHHHH!! Man, oh, man, was I in for a surprise. I am so incredibly grateful to have spent 6 months being cancer free, not having to focus on a cancer battle during the other aggressive fight that I was facing, and I now am starting to be able to slowly get back to “normalcy” again, slowly being the key word in this very sensitive process. Although many people may beg to differ, I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the whole world, and consumed in my faith that this is no accident. I have been told by several doctors, several times, in several different scenarios that I am a miracle. I know you are all smart enough to understand that doctors believe in science, and logic, and textbook facts -- for me, they have stepped out of the realm of possibility and truly have believed that my case is nothing short of a miracle. If that doesn’t show you what faith, prayer, and staying strong through the darkness can do, I don’t know what would.

Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for me, donated to my fund, came to visit me, written me letters, sent me flowers, or reached out to me on social media during this time. I could not get past all of this without each and every one of you. Please be aware that I am still praying for continued support and love, as I still have an upcoming surgery needed and I am not physically strong enough to be operated on at this time. I love you all SO much, and thank you for reading.

6 MONTHS CANCER FREE!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Xoxo,

-SurvivALIst

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haleyfury · 4 years

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June was another transitional month into my new normal, with plenty of books in tow. I’ve been keeping busy, between starting my remote jobs and grad school. It’s crazy to think I finished my first round of grad school classes, and my second round started this week. I started experiencing some Zoom burnout this month, so reading and taking my eyes away from my laptop screen with books helped things. I actually have to read two YA books for my grad school classes in July, and I’m so excited to be getting to read YA for school – I read two YA books for undergrad, but that was purely because I decided to do my capstone projects on them.

My reading and TV watching were all over the place this month. I read a lot of contemporary and reread a few books, while I still dove into a reality TV this month. I often had trouble really concentrating on TV, movies especially – I had one night where I tried watching three different movies and then ended up rewatching Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and an episode of Queer Eye.

What is also improving my reading mood even more is that my local library re-opened for door side pick up! I may or may not have put 15 books on hold as soon as the online catalog re-opened. Although there are plenty of good things going on personally right now, there’s definitely still some uncertainty this summer, to say the least. While my state’s covid-19 cases have significantly decreased over the past two months, we’re seeing multiple states have huge increases in cases. Between work and school, I’m typically home Monday through Friday but these increases has made me rethink a few weekend plans and curious to see how my state moves forward with re-opening plans. I went to my first outdoor restaurant and first trip back to Barnes & Noble last week, but my family and friends and I are still being cautious and smart about where we go.

Beach Read by Emily Henry | 5/5 Stars

Like me, I’m sure you’ve seen Emily Henry’s Beach Read EVERYWHERE, but I’m here to confirm that the hype is more than worth the read! There’s such depth to this contemporary romance.

Love at First Fight by Sandhya Menon (novella) | 5/5

I’m a firm believer that Sandhya Menon is the queen of novellas, with Love at First Fight as no exception. You don’t have to read it before picking up 10 Things I Hate About Pinky this July, but it was a really fun addition to the Dimpleverse!

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell 5/5 (reread)

One of my best friends IRL is reading Fangirl, aka honestly my all-time favorite book, which led me to make the decision to reread Rainbow Rowell’s contemporary books this summer. Attachments still reigns as my favorite adult fiction novel of hers.

Slay by Brittany Morris | 4/5

If you’re looking to read more YA books by black authors, as well as books that reflect some of the conversations we’re currently having about race in the U.S., Slay is definitely worth checking out.

Landline by Rainbow Rowell | 5/5 (reread)

I forgot how much I loved Landline, including its many one-liners and sarcasm. I also loved the cameo from one of my all-time favorite fictional couples.

10 Things I Hate About Pinky by Sandhya Menon (ARC) | 4.5/5

Over the past four years, my summer reading has not been complete without a new YA contemporary from Sandhya Menon. 10 Things I Hate About Pinky was such a summery take on the enemies-to-lovers trope.

The Play (Briar U #3) by Elle Kennedy | 4/5

Elle Kennedy’s Off-Campus and Briar U series reign among my favorite new adult romance novels. It wasn’t my absolute favorite, but The Play was still a fun and flirty installment.

The Boy on the Wooden Box by Leon Leyson | 5/5

The Boy on the Wooden Box is one of those books I can’t believe I didn’t read until 2020, but I’m so, so glad I read this Holocaust memoir from child survivor, Leon Leyson, who worked for Oskar Schindler during the war.

Thirteen Doorways, Wolves Behind Them All by Laura Ruby | 4/5

Thirteen Doorways, Wolves Behind Them All’s critical praise really caught my attention. If you’re looking for an often untold story from the World War II period, I recommend checking this YA book about a girl living in a Chicago orphanage out – did I mention it’s also narrated by a ghost?

You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle | 5/5

I am not joking when I say that You Deserve Each Other might be the funniest and most clever contemporary romance I’ve ever read.

My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick | 4/5 (reread)

As you might be able to tell, I was on a small rereading kick in June, My Life Next Door included. I didn’t LOVE this one as much as I had the first time around – a lot more unresolved issues than I remembered – but it is such an atmospheric summer contemporary.

Jenna Takes The Fall by A.R. Taylor (ARC) | 3/5

Jenna Takes The Fall wasn’t necessarily my favorite read, but it made for a really entertaining read while floating around my pool.

The Sullivan Sisters by Kathryn Ormsbee | 2.5/5

I really wanted to love The Sullivan Sisters because I tend to seek out books about sisters, but it was just a miss for me.

The Politician S2 (Netflix) – The Politician was my favorite show of 2019, so I could not wait for its second season to air. I’ve realized that this show is slightly ridiculous… but that doesn’t make it any less good!! Once again, I was so impressed by the acting, and this season had a few more politically relevant themes than last season.

Athlete A (Netflix) – If there’s one thing that you must watch on Netflix, it’s Athlete A. This documentary walks viewers through the several sexual abuse cases involving Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics. To say the least, it is such an infuriating and emotional watch, as we hear from several gymnasts about USA Gymnastic’s abusive environment. I found tears rolling down my face throughout, especially because of Maggie Nichol’s story. This is such an important watch that demands more from USA Gymnastics and overall how female atheletes are treated in sports.

The Bachelor GOAT (ABC) – I’ve been loving putting on these wrap-up episodes while I work as background noise, and even more, I love listening to Here to Make Friends‘ recap episodes on my walks.

Below Deck Mediterranean (Bravo) & Outdaughtered (TLC) – Reality TV is still one of my favorite forms of escapism. My Below Deck obsession is still alive & well, while I’m bummed that Outdaughtered was only 5 episodes long -although I completely understand why in order to protect the Busbys and the camera & crew.

Lenox Hill (Neftlix) – Let it be known that I am one of the most sqeamish people when it comes to medical things and, let’s face it, the sight of blood. I learned quickly that being a nurse or doctor was not for me while taking anatomy in high school. However, I found myself obsessed with Lenox Hill, a docuseries following Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC. It was such a fascinating watch, following the neurosurgery, OB-GYN, and emergency medicine departments of the hospital.

Some other random things I watched include Shtisel S2 (Netflix), The West Wing S1 (Netflix/NBC), and Clueless (Netflix).

Reviews

NEW ADULT FUN: The Play (Briar U #3) Review

SUMMER MUST-READ: Beach Read by Emily Henry

WAS IT WORTH THE HYPE? : Where the Crawdads Sing Review

MUST READ NOVELLA: Love at First Fight Review

NEW ADULT REVIEW: Until the Last Star Fades

June 2020 Mini Reviews: Books I Should’ve Read A While Ago

FINISHING THE THOUSANDTH FLOOR: The Dazzling Heights & The Towering Sky Review

Bookish & Other Fun:

Summer Reading Recommendations: The YA Edition

Mid-Year Book Freak Out Tag: 2020 Edition

If We Were Having Coffee: June 2020 Edition

TBR & JUNE READING PLANS: The Stuck At Home Book Tag

Summer Reading Recs: Based on What I Read in 2019 Edition

Gravity is Heartless Q&A with Author Sarah Lahey

What did you read and watch in June? Anything that I mentioned? Share in the comments!

BOOKS, TV, & MY CURRENT NORMAL: June 2020 Wrap Up June was another transitional month into my new normal, with plenty of books in tow. I’ve been keeping busy, between starting my remote jobs and grad school.

#June 2020 #June 2020 Wrap Up #Wrap Up

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travisandersondatingblog · 6 years

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My HIV Story: A Needle Stick, Pregnancy, and HIV

In the spring of 2017, I was working in a long-term care facility as a nurse. I worked the night shift at a small facility with one nurse and a nurse’s aide. One night, I was collecting a trough (syringe) on a new patient and experienced a needle stick. I didn’t panic. Although I protected myself daily as if anyone could have anything, I did long-term care and HIV is usually the last thing on your mind in a geriatric facility. I cleansed the area and bandaged it. Then I checked the patient’s information and septicemia was the worst finding. I called my director several times that night to report the incident but didn’t get an answer, so I continued my night. Two hours after my shift, my director returned the call. I was asked how I felt and told to monitor for any signs or symptoms of infection. That was it. Nothing more was thought about it.

About 3 months later, I recall being far more tired than usual. I was sleeping all day after work, falling asleep in my car after work, and in the garage when I made it home. I had picked up some extra shifts so I just attributed it to that. When my days off came up, I declined extra shifts and went out of town to visit my best friend. We went shopping and caught up on things after having spent a year apart. While we were at the mall, I felt faint and developed a migraine headache. We then stopped at a grocery store at her request. We stopped, she ran in and returned shortly. As we sat down at her home, she handed me a pregnancy test. I laughed and said, “What do I need that for?” She reminded me that she was my best friend and that she knew me better than I knew myself.

I was indeed pregnant. We sat in disbelief as I had just been to my gynecologist the previous month to schedule tubal ligation because my birth control had been wreaking havoc on my body. I already had two children, the youngest being nine years old. I called my boyfriend and he was so excited that he wanted to meet up immediately. We were both about an hour from my house so I drove wide-eyed and in complete silence. I scheduled the OB/GYN appointment the next day.

We waited in suspense for the first visit to see the baby. Everything went well on the first visit and shock was replaced with happiness after hearing that first heartbeat. A week and a half later, I received a phone call to move up my second appointment. Little did I know, that appointment would change my life forever.

On August 18th, 2017, the doctor sat down on his stool as I sat on the exam table. He put his hand on my knee and told me that I had HIV. I thought he was going to tell me that something was wrong with the baby and honestly, I was more relieved that it was me and not the baby. Nonetheless, I was shocked yet again. Then I was angry, scared, sad, and everything else at once. I said test me again, this can’t be right. I went home, sat on the bathroom floor, and texted my boyfriend. He didn’t say anything back that entire day.

The next day he came to my house to meet with the field technician from the CDC. I took my rapid test. Positive. My boyfriend took his test. Negative. The look in his eyes was one I will never forget. He looked at me as if all the trust he had in me for the last two years was gone. We talked and he decided to help me through the pregnancy. Except, everything had changed and he was very distant. I really felt alone for the most part.

Now, the clock started ticking. I had two OB/GYNs, an infectious disease doctor, and a nurse practitioner working with me to deliver this child safely. I was deathly afraid, to say the least. No doctor or hospital in my area was prepared to deliver a baby from an HIV-positive mother. The closest hospital was 150 miles away. I started ART’s immediately. My pregnancies had all previously been horrible due to hyperemesis gravidarum. This pregnancy was no different. Not only did I feel like I was dying during my entire pregnancy, but I was also truly afraid I was going to die.

One evening at 8 1/2 months pregnant, I began vomiting non-stop and doubling over in pain. I went to the hospital four times that evening and they kept sending me home with anti-emesis medication which I was already taking. We only have two hospitals, but only one was even remotely set up to possibly deliver my baby. That hospital was not helping me at all, so I panicked and went to the other hospital because I feared for the life of my child and my own. No progress on my condition was being made. My OB/GYN came over and released me from his care and told the hospital to send me to the closest facility that could deliver a positive mother.

It was the longest ride of my life. I rode in the ambulance strapped to the hospital gurney and, at one point, I remember hitting a pothole so hard that my body lifted completely into the air and slammed back down onto the gurney. When I reached the hospital, they immediately put me into a room and I changed into my gown. The phlebotomist came in and drew a blood sample for the laboratory. The result came back that I had pancreatitis. I had been at the hospital no longer than 15 minutes and, though I had never experienced it before, I was sure that my water broke as I was talking to the nurse.

The other OB/GYN that I had been working with was called and came over immediately. Within an hour, he had delivered my baby girl. I saw her briefly and the nurses whisked her away. Shortly afterward, I went to visit the baby in the NICU. I spoke with the pediatrician and by the grace of GOD her first tests were negative for HIV. I cried so hard that night.

Two weeks later, they sent me home empty-handed as the baby remained in the NICU. A month later, my baby came home and I continued her liquid AZTs for another six weeks. At her eighth week visit, I made that 150-mile drive and the next week her report was again negative for HIV antibodies. We will return again in three days from the date of this essay when she is four months old and again when she is eighteen months old.

At seven weeks, her father left. He could not handle the stigma that follows the disease. This is all new to me and now I am alone raising a child while I’m dealing with a mountain.

It seems that you never hear so many TV commercials and conversations about HIV until you have it yourself. You see posts on Facebook and rude condemning comments about HIV. It seems it’s repeatedly a topic. The conversations stand out to you like never before and you wonder to yourself if you have ever been so careless and crass in your own thinking about the disease.

HIV has truly changed my life. I feel as if I need to do everything possible now to secure my children’s future because my own future now seems unsure. I want to live my best life while I am here. I cherish every single moment with my children like it’s the first time I’ve laid eyes on them. Their jokes are funnier, I hug them tighter, and I miss them more when they are away even for a minute. I now spend more time with my parents than I ever have and I do everything with a purpose.

I wish people without HIV knew how sensitive people with it feel. It’s not just any disease. A lot of people don’t feel bad for you at all because of the way that it is mostly contracted. They either view you as a drug user, homosexual if you are a male, or sexually promiscuous. That isn’t always the case at all. I wish they knew that the disease has no face and has no preference. People with HIV deserve no less love than anyone else. I wish they knew how scary it is not to be able to afford your medication and wonder how long you have to live. I wish people knew how you could be having fun, laughing, and all of a sudden the words “I have HIV” randomly cross your mind and remind you of your disease. I wish people without the disease knew how much support those living with it really need. Most of all, I wish they would educate themselves about HIV.

The post My HIV Story: A Needle Stick, Pregnancy, and HIV appeared first on STD Exposed - Sexual Health Blog.

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karpedayam · 6 years

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Day 53: July 13

Today started in a very ... interesting way. Kuann left early to go on the mobile health unit and she latched our door from this outside, so Laura and I were stuck for a bit LOL. I didn’t make it to the hospital in time for rounds, so I decided to check out the labour ward. Sandra and Riya were there and guess what: a woman named Prema just came in and was expected to deliver in an hour!! Speaking things into existence really has a way of working here. I was super excited but also wanted to let Dr. Abhignya know so she wasn’t looking for me, so I went up to the Panchakarma centre where everyone was huddled around the table where Dr. Abhignya was working on the caladium powder, just dipping the wicks in castor oil in preparation for their burning. I talked with the Panchakarma therapy students a lot and learned everyone’s names and they taught me some Kannada and I taught them some German and French and it was cute, they’re so lovely. Madhu started working on wrapping some of the wicks in gauze apparently to make a “herbal cigarette” which is traditionally used. Interesting stuff.

I went back down to the labour room and waited with Riya and Sandra (pic #4). We talked a lot about their program - it’s 5.5 years and they get no vacation except like 5 days for Christmas. I’d been thinking about studying Ayurveda here but that’s pretty intense, plus I don’t think the BAMS degree is recognized in Canada. Then I asked Sandra about my pulse theories and turns out I was kinda right! It has to do with irregularity and stuff and what’s super cool is it’s also about where the pulse is the strongest. You use your left arm because it has a more direct route from the heart, and place 3 fingers. The one closest to your hand is Vata, then Pitta, then Kapha. So wherever the pulse is the strongest is your Prakurti constitution. So I asked her what mine was and she said Vata/Pitta which is right haha. Cool stuff.

Nurses were in and out checking on Prema, her water broke (I think). I went upstairs as I was getting kind of impatient and Dr. Abhignya and I went for tea. She’s leaving tonight to go on a hike in the Himalayas called “Valley of Flowers” and it’s just like tons of flowers. Can you imagine? She’s amazing. I want to be her. I wish I didn’t have a plane ticket booked back I would’ve went. Also, Kuann and Laura invited me to go to Thailand in 2 weeks which is what I really wanted and had a feeling would happen which is why I didn’t wanna book a ticket home but oh well. Gotta get home and work! I’m missing home a lot less here though. I truly do love it here. My heart is in too many places.

Anyway, I went back to the labour room and she was just starting to push! Juliana and Joanna were also there. It was incredible and horrifying. Like I’m still kind of cringing honestly thinking about the procedure, so I guess you could say my OB/GYN pipe dream is going to remain just that. After about a half hour she delivered, and the baby was so limp and not crying when she came out I was so nervous. They hit her on the back a bit and then she started to cry a bit and then I started crying LOL. God I’m emotional. It was AMAZING. It was especially special since it was Joanna’s birthday. We just had so many feelings about the experience I truly don’t have words. I’m glad I did it because now I know it’s not for me. It’s amazing, truly, but I don’t want to be the one behind the mask for the short procedure I want to be the person who supports people along in their lives holistically. I’ve known this since I was like 12 I don’t know why I keep doubting myself.

After this we ate lunch (Puri!!!! Yay!!) and we just were on such a high. What an absolutely beautiful day. We talked about music, and Simran joined us and we all played music in school which was neat and talked about how much we love playing in a group. I suggested we start a band LOL. 2 violins, a cello and a clarinet is a good mix right? Haha.

After lunch, I went back to Panchakarma centre and Dr. Abhignya was there tending to the burning caladium wicks. The setup is really neat, the wicks burn in the oil under a supported clay tile, the ash falls to the ground and then the black material that sticks to the tile is scraped off and used as Caladium for the eyes. So interesting. It was nice just doing that with Dr. Abhignya, the Panchakarma centre is much more my speed, I feel so at home there. I really don’t want to leave. The Panchakarma students came back after their lunch and they sat with me and we talked for awhile. They’re mostly around my age, and they were testing me to see if I remembered names and I remembered Madhu’s and he put his hand on his heart and like “fake fainted” it was funny. He’s always being silly, and he said he’s a yoga teacher and could teach me some and some tricks to be happy which was cute. They left for class and I talked with some of the certified therapists for a bit telling them about Canada and stuff. I had my final facial procedure done by Hassina and we talked a lot during it. She went to university in Bangalore and did a 1-year program afterward about Panchakarma. The students here are in a 6 month program. Honestly, I’d consider doing that if Naturopathy falls through. It’s mostly in English, and I love being in Sargur and the people are so funny and welcoming. So many beautiful things keep happening to me here, it’s incredible like why wouldn’t I want to stay? Hassina is Muslim too which is interesting because I’ve associated Ayurveda so much with Hinduism, but I really don’t think that link is as close as I thought, especially now.

I found Laura after my procedure as she was waiting for a consultation with Dr. Abhignya and so we had the consultation in the Panchakarma centre. We then talked for the last bit of Dr. Abhignya’s time at the hospital before leaving which was nice. I got to ask most of my questions and she agreed with me about many things but had a lot of new perspective to add too. The combinations of medicines used in Ayurveda, it’s not known why these combinations work butit’s just known that they work together. We talked about the commodifying of alternative medicine as just about herbs (which I’ve seen in research) and how this isn’t fair as it doesn’t take into account the combinations necessary to make everything work and that just because it’s herbal doesn’t mean it’s good - herbs can be toxic too. It’s kind of like that complementary farming idea I learned about from Dr. Vombatkere a few weeks ago - plants growing together support each other and where one fails the other makes up for it; where one herb is toxic an interaction with another one neutralizes it. What’s super interesting is that Dr. Abhignya said practices such as yoga and ayurveda became more popular in India after “the West” became interested in them. She said Indians are very easily influenced as we’ve seen in history, and that even in schools it’s only Western biomedical sciences that are taught - no one learns about Ayurvedic theory and concepts. She talked about how it’s not just about being a doctor, and the broader you start thinking, the better. It’s a hard concept to grasp.

I asked some more specific questions about the prayer that was said before procedures, and about the idol in the centre that’s always adorned with flowers and candles. It’s Lord Dhanwantari, the lord of medicines. I’ve never heard about this so I’d love to research it more! I told her about wanting to do the Panchakarma program and she said it’d be a good idea to get my naturopathic degree in Canada, and if I think it’s necessary or there are gaps, to then fill it in with Ayurvedic practices. I talked a lot too about not wanting to appropriate and what’s at stake in transferring the tradition to the West in that I feel like a lot of the practice is informed by a specific worldview that we generally might not have in the West. Maybe it’s not that complicated, Dr. Abhignya understood where I was coming from though but said it’s just important to keep the concept in mind - when you ignore that, problems arise.

Anyways, after this I had some cake for Joanna’s birthday and Laura and I went downtown. I got a nice nose ring and some packaged stuff to make Jamun and Sambar. We came back and I finished my presentation, went to dinner with Ana and Joanna and the power went out during dinner. It was a scary walk back so dark but it was the first time I could see more than 2 stars so that was AWESOME. We got back and had more gourmet dorm room banana splits, and talked a lot about colonialism (surprise) and language. Really cool conversations about the Caribbean specifically in that colonizers adapted specific words from Indigenous languages and they got adopted into Spanish. Also apparently the Bahamas was originally called “Bahamar” which if you think about it, that translates to shallow sea.

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Fort Belvoir Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 22060

"Fort Belvoir Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 22060

Fort Belvoir Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 22060

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ok so its just me and my friend (business partner, we are in the process of getting our business together in the mean time we are just cleaning places with out insurance. i know i will need it incase something should happen. but do i really need the bond insurance as well? its only me and her and she would be co business partner or whatever you call it lol we are going to get a license soon but we dont rent out a building for this business because we dont really need one if its going to be just us.""

Can my car insurance still charge me for a car I do not have anymore?

I'm confused. I no longer have this car, it got vandalised and written off. It says in my contract I can cancel I did but they have taken out another payment I haven't had the car since October 22nd Not only that in they said to me I they will take out the remaining payments from the cheque they pay me from my car, it doesn't say this in the contract so why do I have to do it? Why should I pay for a car I no longer have? And why do I have to pay my voluntary and compulsory excess if someone damaged my car and it has been reported to police and on going investigation? I will speak to them tomorrow but I am confused now and looking for answers. Thank you""

What is the cost of general liability insurance for a small business?

My history class is doing a business plan project, and I'm wondering what the cost of liability insurance for a softball training center would be?""

Expensive Car Insurance at age 19 wtf?

I bought a car for less than 1500 and the quotes i keep getting are freaking expensive wth, is there a cheap insurance that you guys can recommend. I have a vw golf 2001""

Car insurance renewal?

my car insurance renewal is due on the 22 of this month. but i'm 200 dollars short. can i call them and give them a post dated check for a week later

Can I claim through my car insurance without facing any penalities?

Can a health insurance company abroad outside the USA look up my health insurance information ?

If I provide them with my insurance policy and other info can they look up my health insurance information?

Fort Belvoir Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 22060

Do any states not require car insurance by law?

Looking for a state that does not require me to have car insurance.

Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?

Health insurance plans that cover maternity?

I live in Texas, and am looking for a health insurance plan that will cover maternity that is reasonably priced.""

Average cost of insurance for mother and two children?

Right now I am a single mom and a cashier. Both of my kids are on medicaid bc we are low income. Within the next month I will be starting a new job as a CNA and will no longer be eligible. I cannot get my companies insurance until after 90 days. any suggestions on what to do 4 my kids in the 90 days, and how much does insurance normally run. We are all healthy no health problems in the past and non smokers children ages 15 months and 2 months. Thank u!""

Can I put my girlfriend on my health insurance if she lives with me? Or do we have to be married?

""Car insurance help, please answer!?""

im 19 years old got my license when i was 18, im moving in with my grandma for a year or so, would it be cheaper to put me on her insurance?""

Friend wrecked car and i have no insurance and he has liability?

Let my friend drive my car while I was inside of the car and he wrecked it. i have no insurance and he only has liability. Will his insurance cover it or will i have to sue him?

Who has the cheapest insurance for a 2004 Chrysler sebring lxi touring?

""If your auto insurance expires today, do you get a grace period?""

If so, how long is the grace period?""

Does my insurance go up?

i only have liabilities with my insurance. i got into a car accident but my car was the only one damaged and im paying for the repairs myself, would my insurance go up?""

What is the best affordable health insurance plans?

I am 20 years old and do not have health insurance and I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled! So i'm looking for an affordable health insurance.I've already applied for Medicaid and was denied.I need help please!

Why is my health insurance so much?

My girlfriend- is 22 in shape and healthy other than having psoriasis and ADD; she has health insurance and pays $90 damn bucks a month. I am looking for insurance since I will soon be 26 years old in shape and healthy and am looking at paying $200 a month. This is bullshit frankly- I am healthy, only have ADD (which I don't even take meds for but want to start again) and have a steady well paying job. I tried looking through the websites but found nothing less than $110 for not so great coverage. Can someone explain to me a. where to get good affordable health insurance b. why there is such a difference in cost since she has more problems and we are only 3 years apart c. are there any options for me if I went to healthcare.gov? I know she isn't lying about the payments and I know she has a co pay with each subscription/doctors visit but its minimal like $30-60 minimal. Any help or advise is very appreciated- also please don't make this political.""

What does full coverage means to car insurance?

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?

Im about to get my license and i was wondering how much insurance would be. For a 16 year old girl 2011 camry or corolla. Anyone wanna guesstimate ?

I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance?

I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance? I need some cheap Insurance that won't charge alot besides USAA is there anyone else out there that will give me a good price I am currently 20 years old and I need a good insurance company that wil not charge alot besides USAA I have a dodge stratus 2004 it's a V6 it's an SE it's a 4 door and 2.7 liters it's the biggest engine you can get with a stratus anyways if any of you could help me out that would be great thanks.

Can a vehicle get insurance by someone other than vehicle owner?

What is the best and most affordable home owner's insurance in Texas?

How do I get affordable health insurance for my son?

I was in between jobs last year so I had to put my son on medicaid. As soon as I found a job I let them know but they kicked him off of it anyways. The problem I am having is that my insurance at work don't kick in until November and he has to have insurance by then for doctors appointments, etc. I tried to get MC+ for kids but they make it almost impossible to get. I just was wondering if anyone knew of a place where I can get affordable health insurance for my son?""

Car Insaurance for 17 year old?

Hi, I have been riding on the road for two years now (or will be when I get a car) I have had a 50cc moped when I was 16 and since turning 17 have a 125cc motorbike. I know that my no claims on bikes are separate but is there a chance I could get insurance cheaper? If so, roughly how much? (If you can could you recommend some cheap and cheap to insure cars, or some things I can do to get the price down? e.g. explanation of black box etc.? Cheers, Kieran.""

Is no fault insurance the cheapest coverage possible.?

I don't get it my dads insurance agent told him no fault is the least amount of money paid to the insurerer that why he got me no fault but when I look it up on the Internet they say it's expensive. Can someone tell me if no fault is cheaper than collision, comprehensive, or the other types of insurance coverage. Also I live in Michigan and I'm 19 if any of that matters.""

Misspelled name on car insurance card.?

I have allstate car insurance .They just misspelled it by one letter, what is supposed to be an N is an M , I've had the card for like a month and its misspelled on my old one too. Does it really matter?""

Can you stay under your parents car insurance?

As of right now I am a college student living in Ohio with my mother and my car is under my mothers car insurance. If I move out and no longer live under my mothers roof, does this mean I must pay for my own car insurance? Or am I able to stay under her name? Please help! I need to find out soon before I get my own place. Thank you so much.""

RX-8 annual insurance cost?

So I'm 18 and male, just got my license and need to buy a car soon. Set my sights on an 04 RX-8, but I need to know if I could afford the insurance. I have no accident history (obviously) would be primarily commuting about 15 miles a day, and would go LIABILITY ONLY on my parents' plan. GUESTIMATES WOULD BE APPRECIATED AS WELL AS WHAT YOU PAY FOR YOUR RX-8!! Spank you bunches""

Next to oil and gas prices are car insurance prices too high anyone agree?

Whats the deal the government wants everyone to participate in paying for auto insurance yet the prices are rediculous what happened to buying a car and registering it thats it? Does the government think about Americans servival aside from gas, food, children, mortgage blah blah blah............. or do people vote for laws blind folded????""

Would this be legal ? start own car insurance company and insure self.?

We were talking about the price of car insurance at work today about how the cost is becoming ridiculous. I came up with this idea its entirely hypothetical but it got me wondering if it was possible. Just say i started and registered a insurance business. I offered 3rd party only insurance to my close friends and family people that i know personally are careful drivers.Say 50 people get a years cover for just 100 and i insure my self for free. Now i know what you might be thinking what happens if some one has a bump? Well i have 5000 in the business account so it should cover minor repairs however and hear comes the is it legal part if someone puts in a large claim that i cannot cover.Say my grandma writes off some rich mans Bentley. I just declare the company bankrupt ! Thinking about it its not to different to what the bankers have been doing .

Fort Belvoir Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 22060

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/make-my-car-insurance-rates-go-up-anthony-booker/"

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