#narciscist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sos-smp-headcanons · 9 days

Note

FINAL PART

The fates were here. "fWhip" pushes Scott away and the pain in his legs are ignored as he runs closer to the giant of copper and stone. Arrows were shot only to be stuck between the stones and do no damage and the yelling from the players did nothing. They felt like they were stuck in place, they could act but they couldn't walk. More giants were forming, before the players eyes but before they attacked more the bigger of the giants spoke.

"leave him"

The giant said the entire spawn seemed to shake when it speaked. fWhip's eyes glow and once again falls limp on the floor and the giant seemed to winced like it felt the impact.

"You all deserve an apologie"

They could move again, Sausage being the fasted to pick up their admin from the floor, the giant didn't move and let him carry fWhip in his arms. As he does that more three copper and stone giants are formed not as big as the main one that looking closely seemed to be part of the spawn but tall enough to tower of the players. The main giant looks at Sausage angry eyes and than to the rest of the server with the same expression.

"Those were the ones that were uncaring with the vessel, these were the one that ignored the warnings, those fates are foolish and narciscists. We should never let them have the same power they had on their hands again"

It looked at the golens with an a frozen expression but its voice showed disguted.

"We will take more care of the vessel. As for these three. Their destiny will land on your hands Players. Nothing more than fair what they done"

fWhip stirred on his half asleep state, he seemed to be bothered by something and the angel tries to soot him. All of the other step up, weapons still in hand. They didn't trust the giant and it was very understanding of that. So it waited paciently for them to decided what to do with the three immoral golens for what they did to their admin

But now i will let you decided this - Ghostie anon

Ps: i would be glad to dm you! Just pass me your @ and i will send a message!

It surprisingly didn’t take very long at all for the players to collectively decide on what should be done to punish the Fates.

If they themselves think to be strong enough to not have to take care of fWhip’s human body, then they should have to be human. Permanently.

It’s quite a fitting ‘fate’, isn’t it?

#my @ is mossiishroom :]#sos smp #sos headcanons #sos prompts #sos writing #fwhip #mythicalsausage #smajor1995 #sosshipping #ghostie anon

6 notes · View notes

ysekirstein · 2 months

Text

Narciscistic omg i love it

0 notes

septimaseverina · 1 year

Text

Okay. Some of my acquaintance says; ones who have listening to Taylor Swift are brainless, and it's including me. I be like "excuse me? Who are you to judge me and others who have listened Taylor Swift's songs?"

It's invalid. It's fallacy. It's pointless. Do you think that you are better and greater than people who have listened to Taylor Swift?

Don't be narciscist. You are human like others. It's called 'personal aesthetic'. Before you judge others, hold your mind and words.

And I'm not ashamed. I can say out loud that I listen to Taylor Swift's songs, and I have plenty of favourites.

0 notes

the-sinking-feeling-starts · 2 years

Text

Everyone remains strangers in the dark

Thinkin damn if these walls could talk

The moon dont pick sides

Everyones looking for 15 minutes

But NEVER considers my saftey or well being

They just traumatise me and leave everything to my imagination

They hear me cry and dont show up

They reshoot the supercut of the narciscistic relationship i survived

Why?

Why is my trauma, your entertainment?

I lost most my family

I got exiled

I am SCREAMING for support

But leave all alone

Left with more questions

Cuz i mean, who the fuck would believe me

Its been going on for an entire year

I wake up every day hoping, praying, that today will be a good day where i feel safe, seen, and herd

But just end up digging stories of my past

Causing mind games

Perfect storms

I resent love now

I am homeless and lost everything

You all have your $$$$ but wont approach me

Must mean you are intimitated by me

Or you just dont care.

0 notes

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

This is my intro....

I started this space to tell my story. I needed a platform that was separate from my “real life” where i can speak uncensored. I hope for some feed back. I hope that my story helps someone, and I hope that it is shared...

2 notes · View notes

j10kkuno · 2 years

Text

What remains? Is every step forward

So, my opinion on the whole Ray and Mickey situation changed a LOT yesterday. Which I really liked??? And I kinda expected because everyone involved on night 1 was a bit on the outside and treated it very black and white and the emotions were VERY fresh(They still are).

Sunday, I was 88% Mickey and 12% Ray. I understood how Ray got riled up, but I couldn't understand how he could ocean dump a family member. And everyone was like-you talk to family and imo even what Mickey did shouldn't have warranted even a discussion about fucking murdering a member of the family.

After yesterday? And hearing how Yuno and Lang and Tony and Leslie reacted and how Mickey and Ray are feeling? I feel like Ray went to far, 100%. But Mickey was very much pushing Ray's buttons repeatedly and he didn't deserve what happened-never. Ray shouldn't have ignored Egg in the car, he should've told Kitty he would call her back. But I can understand now why Ray, narciscistic, serious Ray did what he did. Seeing only red, not the reason his family would. Mickey pushed him, and Ray pulled the trigger. And that's the cold hard truth.

Nothing can change that. What remains? Is every step forward.

In the wake of things, Ray still only saw his side, but he respects Tony and especially Lang(Endlessly). Their disgust at his actions and subsequent concern for his mental state got through to him and he's waking up, realizing the gravity of what he did. And Yuno is telling him, hey, Mickey was wrong, but you were more wrong. And Yuno is the one closest to Ray. They were brought into the family at the same time, did countless jobs together, brothers in the truest sense of the word. He realizes that he fucked up and he wants to change, because his family-the people he truly loves- wants him too.

But Mickey, understandable, still doesn't realize his part. And I get it. He woke up hours ago after his brother ocean dumped him. The pain, the betrayal, the anger, is still fresh. He's not thinking clearly yet. And I think that's a VERY important stage to RP. A very valid stage. But Lang was right. If they want Ray to change, they all need to realize where they need to change. And Mickey has to make the first move. Because all this started because he didn't respect Ray's boundaries time and time again. And-OH. Separate post.

This is going to be a long road. And I'm glad that it is. Because emotions are valid and complex and gray and I'm happier with Ray right now because he's taking the first step forward but that's not to say that I don't understand Mickey. I absolutely understand where Mickey is right now. It's just frustrating.

#Mickey #Ray #Cleanbois #Nopix #Blautoise #Ray__C #AMAZING RP #This is a really good arc #Slow burn but good #Kudos to Ray for going there tbh

4 notes · View notes

over70isolation · 4 years

Text

Day 207 President but no Statesman.

Number of daily coronavirus cases in Europe doubles to 200,000 in ten days, with many countries seeing highest-ever infection levels

Awoke early last night and caught a little of the US Presidential debate between Trump and Biden. I’ve said it before but if this is the best that the US has to offer then it’s a miserable state of affairs when a lying narciscist is pitted against a semi corpse. The lack of respect from Trump is staggering as he just lies his way through the whole debate. Biden, plays honest Joe but he lacks bite and clarity allowing Trump’s jibes to throw him off course. The monitor attempts to control things but still cannot stop Trump from interrupting and grabbing the attention.

Maybe this is the best way to deal with him?

0 notes

fuzzylocs · 7 years

Text

I swear I don't know if its the drugs that my sister used to do or if she's just a narciscist but my sister gaslights the hell out of me. I don't know if she truly can't remember the past, if she's just repressing her terrible behavior, or if she's just an asshole who won't admit the truth.. She was a horrible mom. Never worked. Always screamed and hollared at her child. My parents raised my niece. She used to sleep with my mom when she was little because my sister was always gone or hung over. All she did was run the streets and get in trouble with my nieces dad. Once she took my car and disappeared for the weekend and I was always worried that some man was going to kill her. My niece was crying for her. I got so sick about it that I puked while out on a date with my boyfriend. My ex remembers all of this stuff. He knows how bad she was. Crashing my sisters car into a families house one night while high. Crawling around on the floor, drooling, and talking gibberish. But none of this ever happened. I have A MILLION stories like that. She swears that never happened. She swears that she was there for her child every day and that we just helped sometimes. She swears that I am a liar and just make things up. She swears that if I had just stayed out of things (and let her abuse my niece) that my niece would have a baby right now and would be in college. She swears that if I had just supported her, she would be further along in life as well. From about 2004 to 2010, my main occupation was supporting and literally saving my sisters life nightly. But none of that ever happened. I'm a liar. She was the best mom ever. If it were not for my mom and I, her daughter would not have survived. But from now on I'm just going to let her believe what she believes. Why do I even try to remind her of the reality of things? She's just my sister and sadly, sisters are disposable. Once I get away from her I will probably never speak to her unless someone in the family dies.

#life

0 notes

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

what about moving on?

because we mentioned that trip, that relationship... the trying to cater to someone else’s mental health...

what about that though?

he has stayed... through it all.

i’m not really sure why. or how.

i often struggle to believe most of the nice things he says to or about me... i struggle with wondering when this will change too... because obviously, no terrible relationship starts off terrible.

no one goes on a first date and gets abused, and goes back out with them... they all start off so picture perfect. hopeful

i struggle daily with trying to build a new outlook. to overcome the conditioned thoughts... the ingrained insecurity and self doubt...

i am consciously trying, everyday, to remember not to bring old bricks to a new house. i actively remind myself that he is not responsible for why i feel the way i do, and i need to actively work at forgiving him for the things he doesn’t know he is being blamed for (you know, that he never even did...).

i am most afraid of waking up one day and all the good parts have just been fabricated in my mind. another act to secure a relationship... another situation that i will stay in because in my own head, i feel like i deserve it...

ironically, i don’t feel like i deserve this...

the happiness. the calm. the feeling of safety. feeling respected...

how does one simply allow this into their life? i definitely feel like at any moment my own anxiety and insecurity will lead me to the destruction of this... that i will push, and push hard…

because i’m still scared. because i still hear the words of a man who was supposed to love me forever- that only ever loved keeping me on the bottom shelf... because i have allowed myself to find comfort there, for so long...

how do you leave the toxic life, still feeling like the mutant that was a result of adaptation for survival- and try to emulate “normal”?

how can you emerge from the darkest of places and not squint at the sun?

trying to heal is far harder than trying to simply survive...

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

like shadows in the alley

sometimes it goes days without hearing from him... sometimes the texts are angry and insulting. sometimes its a random good morning or goodnight...

i wonder if i’ll ever be able to pull in the driveway without a fear of seeing him hanging for me to see... i wonder if i will ever have peace in my mind and heart when it comes to him…

if i will ever be free of the endless crushing burden...

i wonder why it matters...

i could write for days, about examples of the reasons why he left me broke, i could show you the scars of the thousands of times he left me broken...

i wonder when it stops... how i can ever be free...

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

and it still didn’t matter

that i hadn’t allowed him back here. that i wasn’t giving the slightest inclination that i wanted any parts in being stuck in a cycle with someone that truly didn’t want help...

i had to believe that had he wanted help, he could have been more honest with the therapists, and been more realistic about his actual state of mental health...

but he didn’t do any of that. he did the minimum amount of actual work, while playing the “this is the system” game... and its exactly what he did. every time...

his prior conversations about ending his life were always implied. they were never direct, he knew that direct would allow a PEC. he would imply, or draw the context out so long that no one that wasn't intimately aware of him would never read far enough in to a pages long conversation to understand his intent...

he wouldn’t ever say he wanted help. or that he wanted to live...

it was always about how i was the only thing that mattered. if i didn’t love him, if i didn’t want him... literally putting the responsibility of his entire existence on me...

i had begged his brother to help me... to help him relocate... to pay more attention to how his brother is interacting with him...

it was as if i was asking him to preform miracles on every person in the world... i really just needed him to work hard for one...

i still got no help... i have no help...

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

continued attempts...

was not long after, and he was given a brief hold in the ER for intoxication. it was his therapist that called the welfare check that time. the police didn’t feel there was enough to hold him on as far as a PEC for a psych hold. he was released and came back to act in the same fashion that had lead up to the events of the day.

drinking, mixing with his medications, if he was even taking them at all... living in a situation that would be difficult at best for a person without pre-disposition to mental health issues...

but he wouldn’t change it... he wouldn’t leave.

the next attempt was after our son moved home.

that time required local police, state police, the tracking dogs, and a few hours of standing in the freezing cold trying to negotiate with a mental unstable and intoxicated person.

he wouldn’t answer for his son, wouldn’t answer for his brother, but would answer to bait me and degrade me.

ultimately, the police did not feel he needed to go to ER at the point that he was finally located, did not feel he had behaved in a way that warranted a PEC this time either, and allowed him to go freely on his way.

the next time our son had to wrestle him out of a tree. in our yard. in clear view of the kitchen door... he willingly was going to hang himself again, at the place that was the home of his children, while his child was home...

and continued when his child begged him to come down. when his child wrestled him off the ladder and away from the tree... when the police showed up, still fought to resist the help, and instead insisted on his right to choose....

this time, they at least got him another psych hold. he did another week in the inpatient psych ward. with the same doctors and professionals as before... that still felt he was “doing better”....

except this time, when they discharged him- i didn’t allow him to come here....

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

sleepless nights

it started with my first few nights of worrying how this co-living situation would go. he was staying in our youngest son’s room downstairs. our oldest went back to school after the new year. it was just the 2 of us in the house.

whenever i would close my eyes, i would hear that Christmas Eve phone call. i would relive that entire night, moment by moment. whenever i would open my eyes, it would only pause the moment. as soon i shut them again, it would replay over and over. sleep only came at the point of pure exhaustion, and was often woven with panic riddled dreams...

he wasn’t working, had no intentions of looking for a job, and continued attending his outpatient groups during the week. i went to work, only to come home to the same disappointments of the years married...

dishes in the sink, no chores done to help out, and a grown adult expecting me to come home and cook and clean after 12+ hour days at work...

i was still trying to cater to his feelings in keeping my relationship private and out of his face. i would stifle myself just to hope he would start to make progress and begin moving forward…

that never happened.

i was back to walking on eggshells and not complaining about the things he would do (or not do) that bothered me. i had become accustomed to living alone and having peace in my home...

i was back to drowning in frustration, feeling defeated as soon as i woke up, and wondering how i was ever going to escape this life.

and the more time went on, the more comfortable he became, and the less comfortable i was. it became a daily reminder that it was a living situation, not a reconciliation. it was temporary, and not a transitional phase back to our marriage.

the more i saw his frustrations building. his feelings of entitlement to me as his wife. his feelings as if it were my duty to care for him, provide for him, and take care of everything else...

the less sleep i got, i could feel the situation boiling, slowly... i could feel the edges about to be overcome and i had no idea how to stop it.

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

therapy and medications

the doctors at the inpatient facility thought he was making great progress and decided after about 8 days he was ready to discharge...

discharge where? to the truck he hung himself from? the home he didn’t have? the girlfriend he told he didn’t want anymore...

my house. that was their discharge plan...

knowing we were separated. knowing i had my own issues with the recent events, knowing i said it wasn’t a good idea. their “safe discharge plan” was my house.

and i know i could have really turned my back. i know i could have just walked away... but i thought his family would help, would get him down there for some healing and moving on. i thought that there would be some follow up, and follow through after discharge.

but mostly i thought that there would be some part of him that would recognize his opportunity, and how truly lucky he was.

none of that happened.

there was no help, from anyone.

there was no continuity with outpatient therapy.

there was no discharge planner that called in medication refills when he came home.

NOTHING.

it was a setup for failure, and no one cared that it wasn’t going to end there.

the days began running together, trying to cater to his mental health, encourage him to continue to reach out for support, and begin to put his life together.

but for me, this is when my life started to become riddled with anxiety, depression, and hopelessness.

this time in a way that i recognized, but had no idea how to change.

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

miracles do happen

because he was successfully extubated. his memory was intact. his motor functions were intact. he had a sore throat, a chipped tooth, and neck pain. he complained about the shin and groin sites. he wasn’t a fan of the catheter...

that was what he was left with...

my kids had their dad. my brother in law had his brother. my father in law still has his son.

he needed some medical monitoring for a few days, and then sought a psychiatric higher level of care.

at this point i’m exhausted. its been days since i have slept. days since i have done anything but sit vigil at a bedside and pray.

he is awake, alert, and has little to no recollection of what ended him up in the hospital.

he is told daily, and forgets... but remembers other things... he agrees to placement for mental health assessment, and then refuses. he objects to the emergency committal transfer, to no avail...

i bring his son every night to the facility, there is a 1 hour visit time. we go every night, regardless of the weather. sometimes we play cards, other times they just talk.

he seems to be making progress. he seems to have begun working through his depression and issues with mental health, and recognizing that he will need to maintain that moving forward...

he was give a second chance and it really felt like he was going to make the most of it...

1 note · View note

seeking-sanity · 4 years

Text

diving for pearls...

after being stabilized they transferred him to CCU. at this point, there is nothing to do but wait. I've told his brother, his father, his boss, and his (ex?) girlfriend. his family was supportive, offered to come help - even though there was nothing to do to help...

his girlfriend... she was the most cavalier person I've ever met when it came to this... i would later realize it was directly correlated to her intelligence and level of comprehension...

i prayed that night for a Christmas miracle. not for me. but for my kids. i prayed that he would recover, that he would be cognitively intact. that there would be no deficits that hindered his recovery...

i sat in that hospital alone for hours. my heart so full of anger and sadness.

how can you do that to your kids? on Christmas... i will never understand...

i was afraid to leave... because i didn’t want him to be alone... no one should be alone... but i also couldn’t fathom coming home and not knowing what to say to his son...

how do you look at a kid and not know if you can tell him if his dad will be ok? how can i look him the eyes after him hearing that call... and not tell him the truth?

so i sat there.

the next few days were respiratory therapists, extubation trials. titrating down on the sedation... bedside echo with better than expected results...

i sat there wondering what it was like for him...

he had died, if only for a moment.

did he know he died? would he remember? would he wake up?

i wondered what would happen if he wasn’t ok. if he didn’t wake up.

we are still legally married, but i don’t feel like his wife. i don’t feel like its my right or responsibility to make advance directive decisions at this point...

the more i sat there, the more millions of thoughts overwhelmed me...

1 note · View note