#everyone is extremely worried about what Danny will do because he is very obviously still in deep with the league

[little-pondhead]

[this is kind of a messy ramble, sorry about that]

Demon Twins AU, except Danny is loyal to the League.

The League of Assassins is a “cult” for a reason. They know what they’re doing. Ra’s has been around for a very long time; he’s seen every trick in the book and then some.

So when his daughter Talia gave him two, near-identical twin grandsons, he had already planned out their lives by the time the sun had set on their first day living. He knew the plans weren’t perfect. Nothing ever went exactly how he wanted it to. But that was the joy of being absolutely fucking ancient. Ra’s adapted better than anyone. If something went wrong, Ra’s will simply work around the issue and live to see another day.

So the boys were raised as he wished. Ruthless, with sharp blades and even sharper wit. They matched each other in every way, blow for blow. Neither won more than the other, and Ra’s encouraged the competition between the twins. Eventually, the battle for title of Heir came, and Damian won that particular match.

Danny was fine with this. Thrilled, even, for his brother to earn the title of Heir. The boys were very close, and worked well to take down targets twice their size. Ra’s approved this, and granted Danny title of Shadow. He was to be Damian’s eternal shadow, a guard. Both Talia and the boys were pleased with this.

But then came the time for the boys to learn how to live without each other. They’d gotten too used to someone guarding their back. Too complacent and too confident in their roles. Ra’s knew it would happen, and so sent Danny off at a very young age to live with some sleeper agents in America.

The Fentons.

Damian would stay here, with Talia, to learn how to be the perfect Heir. He needed to learn how to fight without the assistance of his brother.

Danny would go to Amity Park, and be fostered by the Fentons. He needed to put his skills to practical use and learn how to live without constant orders.

This was their Test.

Damian did quite well, for a while. Until Talia sent him off to his birth father, The Bat. Reports on his behavior declined in quality after that, and Ra’s couldn’t help but feel dissatisfaction with how the Heir had been corrupted.

Danny’s reports were always immaculate, however. His mask never slipped, and he’d worked himself into the hearts of the townspeople. The sleeper agents, Jack and Maddie, had a daughter who was quite enthusiastic about the properties of the mind, and accept Ra’s instructions to teach Danny with ease. It was the ideal situation.

In Ra’s eyes, Danny was thriving. Damian was not.

And then Ra’s died. The League was in shambles. Damian was at peace with his family, away from the cult he grew up in. He assumed Danny had defected years ago, since their mother stopped giving him reports about his twin.

Then Danny showed up at the Wayne’s doorstep, decked out in full League attire, angry and hostile.

“Tell me, dear brother,” he spat. “Why did you not inform me that Grandfather had died? I had to find out through his spirit when it came to visit from the afterlife!”

Damian didn’t know what to say.

#DPxDC #pondhead blurbs #just #Danny and Damian grew up in a CULT #cults have a reputation for a reason #Danny had no reason to even think about defecting throughout his entire childhood #if being loyal to his grandfather was an issue clockwork would have told him #Dan would have told him #the Fentons are part of a league faction operating out of the US #even Jazz is loyal to them and started viewing Ra’s as a grandfather figure the few times he came to visit #Danny LOVES his assassin grandpa and nobody in amity blinks an eye at him #Ra’s does know about the Fenton portal and phantom #because why wouldn’t Danny tell him? #Ra’s dies and his spirit immediately heads over to where he knows the portal is so he can get some help #ghost Ra’s: my grandson. it’s been too long. #Danny with the worst voice crack: why are you DEAD #Talia is still in hiding #or doing whatever she’s supposed to be doing idk #Danny shows up to ream Damian out and yell at him for his disloyalty #everyone is extremely worried about what Danny will do because he is very obviously still in deep with the league #he doesn’t like the talk about being ‘free’ because he was always free. tf you talking about Grayson. #also Damian doesn’t know about the full properties of the Lazarus pits or ectoplasm. he’s the Heir not the Head. that’s private stuff #Ra’s is a smug bastard using his grandson as a way to get revenge on the living #Danny is HIS shadow now. #I must stress Danny is pretty much the same as canon but literally just loyal to his grandpa Ra’s #maybe Ra’s meets clockwork? Ra’s x Clockwork? #their ship name is Sun Dial now I’ve decreed it

[breynekai-tfc]

Jailbreak

A scene from a longer project called “The Ice King”.  It takes place after “Great One” in my oneshot collection, “Our Son, the Halfa”.  

The story so far:  Maddie has discovered that Danny has ice powers but that's the extent of her knowledge. In this scene, Maddie and Danny have been captured by Walker and are in the middle of breaking out of his prison...

Read on FF.net or continue reading below.

 (･ᗜ･)ﾉ♡

The alarm was a low, continuous wail, like a ghoul moaning through a loudspeaker. At first, Maddie was certain it was about their escape. She grabbed the door's handle – forgetting that she could have run straight through the door – flung it open, and sprinted down the hallway, one hand wrapped around her son's wrist and dragging him along.

The halls were empty. The cells were empty. There was not a ghost in sight. After a few seconds of running, Maddie and Danny both slowed down and came to a stop.

"Where is everyone?" she murmured. "The other prisoners? The guards?"

"Uh, cafeteria? Out in the yard? Does it matter?" He sounded worried; obviously it did matter. "We need to find the Speeder and get out of here." This time it was Danny who snatched Maddie's wrist, and he led her down the hallways at a steady jog.

They turned several corners and stuck their heads, literally, through several promising doors along the way but found nothing and no one.

"He'll have put it with the other Real World contraband," said Danny as they moved, "if only we could find where that is. We just need to make it to the main hall…"

"I thought you've been here before?"

"Yeah, once!" said Danny, poking his head through another door, taking it out again, and shaking it. Negative. "I'm actually not in the habit of getting arrested, thank you. Besides, it would help if I knew where we even are right now. This place is a freaking maze!"

Upon realizing that Danny had no idea of their direction, Maddie started keeping a map in her head. It wouldn't do them any good to be running around in circles.

She was becoming increasingly anxious about the guards, or lack thereof. She tried to remember – had there been guards in their cell block before they broke through the bars? The angle had been bad; it had been impossible to see.

A few more minutes of fruitless searching brought them to the largest hallway yet, possibly the heart of the prison.

"Finally!" Danny exclaimed. "I know where we are – that way's the gate, that way's Walker's office-"

"Shh!" said Maddie.

Her son's eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut. It didn't take him long to hear it, too. Somewhere nearby was the distinctive sound of a large, unruly crowd and ectoblasts. Lots of ectoblasts.

They looked at each other. Danny seemed to have the same question in his mind as was in hers. Should we check it out or steer clear?

"We need to find the Speeder," Maddie said firmly. "Whatever's happening, we don't have any weapons, and we're not prepared to deal with it."

Danny hesitated and finally nodded. "You're right." His hands twitched, and briefly Maddie watched her son clench and unclench his fists.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled reassuringly at him. "We'll be fine. We're going to make it out of here."

He nodded. "Yeah. I know." His gaze lingered on the hallway from which the sound was echoing. "I just hope whatever's happening isn't happening where I think it's happening… Because the room we need is on the other side of that."

"Where is that?"

He grimaced. "The cafeteria."

Danny continued warily toward one end of the hall, footsteps calculated and silent. Maddie followed at his side. Every step brought them closer to sounds of mayhem. Gradually, they began to hear Walker's booming voice, the exact words muffled under shouting, thuds, crashes and explosions.

Soon they were approaching two purple double-doors with a character that was distinctly 'institutional meal hall'. The sounds were almost deafening, and shadows mixed with flashes of green and blue light through the window panes on the doors.

"Great," Danny groaned.

"Isn't there another way around?"

"Not exactly. This part of the prison is on a cliff. The only thing outside the cafeteria walls is a plummet into the abyss."

"Why is the Real World Objects room on the other side of the cafeteria in the first place?" Maddie couldn't help but wonder aloud.

"Heard it used to be a gymnasium. Only place big enough to keep all that junk, I guess."

A second later, something slammed into and through the double doors. Maddie pulled Danny aside in time for the shape to fly past them and skid against the floor down the hall. The doors quickly swung shut again, cutting them off from the mayhem on the other side.

The ghost that had been thrown through the doors groaned and rose to its feet, giving Maddie a clear view of the monster. She was surprised to recognize it; then again, it's hard to forget an eight-foot-tall wolfman. The last time they had met, this particular ghost had been working with Phantom to attack Amity Park's mayor, Mr. Montez. Disoriented, the ghost shook its head, snorting, its black fur standing on end.

"Wulf?" gasped Danny. Instinctively, like a soccer mom in a minivan, Maddie put an arm across her son's chest.

"This is a powerful and extremely dangerous ghost, Danny."

What Danny did next completely shocked her. He grabbed her arm, simultaneously throwing it aside and ducking underneath it, to run straight for the ghost.

"No," said Danny over his shoulder, "he's a friend!"

"Danny!" Armed with nothing but her fists and her wits, Maddie Fenton ran after him.

The ghost noticed Danny, who was completely dwarfed by the giant beast, and grinned. "Danny!" it growled, before grabbing the boy and pulling Danny tightly against its chest. "Friend!"

This was unpleasantly similar to their meeting with Frostbite the day before. Did her son have a penchant for befriending ghosts that looked like Bigfoot's cousins?

"Oof!" Danny squirmed out of the wolfman's arms, and his prison shirt was almost pulled over his head in the process. Patting down his clothes, he grinned blatantly at the monster. "Good to see you, too, big guy. What are you doing here?"

"Walker," growled the ghost. Its snout curled in a snarl.

"How do you keep getting arrested? We talked about this!"

The wolfman looked positively repentant as it lowered its head. It mumbled "Sorry" and some other words in a foreign language.

A crash reverberated in the cafeteria behind them. "More importantly," said Danny, and he jerked a thumb behind him. "What's going on in there?"

The ghost proceeded to give an explanation in that second language, accented by a wide array of hand gestures. Danny listened, nodding, and his expression grew concerned. When the ghost had finished talking, Danny translated for his mom: "According to Wulf, there have been natural portals opening around the prison all week. Not very many prisoners have escaped, but Walker didn't want to take chances. He ordered his guards to stick to the remaining prisoners like glue. So, when a portal opened in the cafeteria today in the middle of lunch, all the guards and all the prisoners were there, and, well… this happened. Prisoners are trying to escape, and the guards are blasting them to bits." Frowning, he turned back to the ghost called 'Wulf'. "You haven't been opening these portals, have you?"

"No!" said the ghost, waving his hands. "No me!" Pointing to his neck, where there was a thick electronic band, he added, "Collar!"

"Wulf," said Danny, "my mom and I need to get to the other side of the cafeteria – to the Real World Objects room. Think you can help us out?"

The wolf monster grinned menacingly, flexing his arms. Glowing claws like blades sprouted from his fingertips. Bloodlust made his green eyes glow brighter. "Wulf help friend. Like to fight Walker goons, too."

"Awesome," said Danny, patting the ghost on one of his bulging, furry arms. Looking at his mom, he added, "Wulf is one of the good guys."

"We're going to have a long talk about this later, young man."

"Later!" said Wulf. "Now is fight!" On his own cue, the giant wolfman lumbered forward and burst back through the doors.

Maddie traded looks with Danny, and they both ran after him.

The cafeteria – if it could still be called such – was in total disarray. At the opposite end of the room, clustered around the edges of a portal in the floor that was at least ten feet in diameter, a battle was raging. Identical ghosts in riot gear with shields and batons were defending the hole against several dozen ghosts of all shapes, sizes, and species. A few were familiar to Maddie, such as Technus and Ember, but most were new faces. These prisoner ghosts were fighting a war on two fronts, because on their other side, the one nearest to Maddie and her son, there was another line of guards headed by the ghost warden himself. Most of the cafeteria furniture had been overturned, incinerated, or adapted into creative weaponry. Lumps of food, or possibly some ghosts' spilled guts, were splattered over the floor, walls, and ceiling.

Wulf's bulk shielded them from sight, although Maddie and Danny were both short enough to duck under his arms to get a good view. He pointed across the room, at a door, and turned to Danny. "There. Room."

The door was precisely on the other side of the portal.

"You've got to be kidding me," said Danny.

"No. No is joke."

"It's an expression," breathed the boy weakly. "How are we…?"

Maddie frowned, squinting thoughtfully at the scene. "We don't need to go through the door. If we make it to the opposite wall, we can phase through it, correct? We just need to skirt the edges."

"Great. We still have to get through a seven-layer ghost dip. Great." At his mom's incredulous expression, he said, "Food jokes. Cafeteria. Couldn't help it."

"Wulf," said Maddie. The ghost seemed a little shocked to be addressed by her. "You keep Walker busy while we make our way to the wall."

Wulf looked at Danny, expectant. "Uh, yeah," said Danny. "Do what she said."

"Kun plezuro," growled Wulf. Then he roared and tackled the warden like a giant, hairy linebacker, sending several smaller guards flying in the process.

"Let's go!" Maddie yelled. She scooped up a couple of broken table legs, tossed one to her son, and darted to the right-hand side of the mob.

A guard immediately intercepted her. Unfortunately, several of the guards had turned at the sound of Walker being attacked, and they were ready to head off the escaping humans. Maddie swung her improvised weapon right into one ghost's head, and the whole thing disintegrated in a cloud of mist.

The others weren't so easy. Before she had completed her swing, another was bearing down on her with its baton, and sidestepping the attack, her back slammed into another's shield. The ghost with the baton raised its club for another hit, so Maddie ducked and tumbled out to the side, landing in a crouch. The two ghosts were surprisingly slow; she had a free shot at the shield-wielder's head, and threw her table leg, sharp-end first.

Like its companion, it vanished into smoke.

But Maddie's weapon was gone.

Danny suddenly appeared at her back, sparring with another guard, exchanging blow for blow. Maddie, who had failed for years to teach her son any lessons in combat, was both impressed and bewildered. She didn't have time to think much more about it, not then.

"Be careful about their batons!" Danny shouted. "They don't just hit, they also shoot-"

Her son was blasted away by a bolt of hot green ectoplasm.

"Danny!" Maddie yelled. It was her mistake to let her attention drop. Her last opponent had aimed his baton, and the next second he fired.

Maddie slammed into the surface of an overturned table. She and the table both skidded back a few feet, and her head knocked against the surface, causing stars to dance in her vision. On her left side, her shirt smoked, smoldering with green fire; the skin underneath was scorched black, and a nasty smell filled her nose.

Danny appeared crouching next to her. "Mom!" he said. His clothes were also smoking, but otherwise, he seemed unharmed, to Maddie's relief.

Four guards were flying toward them, already taking aim. "Danny," she said, nodding her head toward them.

Danny spun and straightened. He stepped forward until he stood at the end of Maddie's feet and adopted a wide stance.

"Alright," he said. Goosebumps rose on Maddie's skin. Danny's voice was completely level, but there was an edge to it, a menace, that she had never expected to hear in her son. "Which one of you hurt my mom?" He looked at them, waiting for an answer. The other ghosts faltered, but not for long.

"No one's gonna fess up? Well then." Danny cracked his knuckles, and spread his hands to either side. "I'll have to beat up all of you."

The temperature plummeted, an icy wind blasting outward with Danny at its center. Danny's whole body began to glow white, and blue energy gathered in his hands while the floor under his feet frosted over. Maddie watched as the frost slithered toward the ghostly prison guards, who only realized what was under them when it was too late. Three of them started to advance, one tried to flee, and Danny ripped his hands upward. Shards of ice splintered out of the floor. Two of the ghosts were frozen solid on the spot, while the other two were ripped into smoky shreds.

The fighting in the room stopped, all eyes turned toward them. Then Technus's nasally voice cried, "It is the ghost boy! The battle is ours!" All of the prisoners cried out and began to fight more ferociously. Several of the guards were knocked backward into the portal, and a few prisoners poured along after them.

Danny turned toward Maddie, who immediately paled. His eyes glowed solid cold blue; she could not see his pupils, his irises, the whites of his eyes. Frost still danced at his fingertips.

For one horrible second, Maddie wanted to run away from him. Her fingers wanted a gun so she could shoot him.

Snowdrift's words returned to her: You obviously don't know what your son is capable of.

He frowned down at her, expression changing from severe to puzzled. Then a massive white shape loomed up behind him, and he was forced to turn and face Walker.

Wulf sprinted to Danny's side. He no longer seemed so huge.

"I should have known," growled the warden, his voice echoing even above the sounds of battle. "Who else would have the gall to start a prison riot in my cafeteria? No one but a lawless, disrespectful, impudent punk like you."

"Look, I get you're still sore about the last time. But I swear, Walker, I didn't do this."

Walker's eyes narrowed. "How did you get out of your cell?"

"Yeah, I'd ask for your money back," Danny retorted. "Ghost-proof, human-proof, but apparently not ice-proof."

The warden's expression was murderous, which was a neat trick for a skull face. The entire cafeteria seemed to darken around him.

Danny shifted slightly, and a wall of ice sprang up in front of Wulf, Maddie, and him just in time to deflect a massive ectoblast from the warden.

"Wulf," Danny said hurriedly. "Get my mom to the Specter Speeder. Now!"

The wolfman nodded before leaping toward Maddie, scooping her into its arms, and bolting away across the room, easily jumping over and on top of heads as he moved. The guards, the few who were left, were too preoccupied with the escapees to do anything. Danny disappeared from Maddie's sight until all she could see was a writhing crowd of ghosts and Walker's towering back.

She knew she should protest. She was afraid, though, that Wulf would actually turn around and go back.

They neared the wall, and Maddie wondered how Wulf planned on getting through it, if ghosts couldn't use intangibility in the Ghost Zone.

It wasn't a problem. With one set of his fearsome claws, he ripped a hole right through the cement bricks.

They landed among the rubble of their entrance and piles upon piles of human junk. There were items anywhere from rubber bath ducks to piano fortes, all covered in a hefty layer of softly glowing dust. Near the door, like they had been dumped there to save time, were the Specter Speeder, Maddie's weapons, and all of their clothes.

Gingerly, Wulf placed Maddie on her feet next to the Speeder. The ghost bent down and looked into her eyes; it took all of Maddie's nerve not to flinch. "Vi estas lia panjo?"

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

Wulf worked his jaw, then said, "You… Danny… mom?"

"Yes," Maddie breathed, still thinking about his eyes, the power that had radiated from him.

The ghostly wolfman engulfed Maddie in his arms, squeezing her tight against him. Her wound screamed, but she didn't dare protest. When Wulf released her, he held her by her shoulders and said, "Good son. Thank you."

Wulf looked back through the hole, glanced at her, and leaped away, stirring the ectoplasmic dust in his wake.

A victorious cheer erupted in the next room, followed soon by Walker's furious cry of "No!" Then all was quiet.

"I'm going to kill you, ghost boy," said Walker, his voice echoing through the room. There was a flash of green, and the floor buckled under an explosion.

Fear clenched Maddie's heart, but a fear different to the one she felt earlier. It was only relieved when the light from the other room changed to blue, and her son's voice called out, "I'd like to see you try!"

Maddie opened the door of the Speeder and threw all of their belongings into the backseat before climbing onto the driver's bench. A glance in the glove box confirmed that Walker had not found the Infi-Map; she slammed the box shut again and fired up the engines.

Despite having designed and built the vehicle with her husband, it was her first time to drive it. The Speeder rose unevenly into the air, and when she urged it forward, first went too slowly and at once shot ahead. It was only due to Maddie remembering, at the last second, that the wall wasn't really solid that saved her from crashing full-speed into it.

She emerged into the next room, and yanked back on the controls to bring the Speeder to a mid-air stop. The scene was havoc. In the middle of the room, a Walker that was twenty-feet tall, shimmering into green smoke at his edges, was stooped over, firing blasts and throwing punches at the ground. Under him, using blasts of frosty wind to propel himself over pathways of ice, her son was simultaneously dodging the attacks and shooting ice at the warden's legs. Maddie realized that Walker's feet were now frozen to the floor. Wulf was darting around the edges of the battle, slashing Walker at times and at others throwing sharp debris into the warden's face.

The natural portal sparkled green. There were no ghosts around it, only helmets, shields, and batons scattered about its edges.

Walker roared. Green fire exploded around his shoulders.

"It looks like someone lost their cool!" said Danny. He slid sideways to avoid another blast of ectofire and unleashed a volley of ice. "I can help with that!"

Banter? Why did that seem…?

Maddie shook her head. They needed to get out of there. Maddie threw the Speeder forward and pulled up at the edges of the battle, opening the passenger-side door and yelling, "Get in!"

Danny glanced at her over his shoulder and then threw a barrage of ice shards at the Warden's face – they weren't necessarily destructive, but the sharp ice made Walker jerk backward and throw up his hands to shield his eyes. It was enough of a distraction. Danny had time to sprint for the vehicle and throw himself through the open door.

He landed heavily on his side. "Go!"

"What about your friend?"

"He'll be fine!" said Danny. As if the wolfman could hear them, he turned and grinned, briefly and fiercely, before leaping at Walker's throat with his extended claws.

Maddie nodded, and the Specter Speeder rocketed across the room. Danny scrambled to sit up, but when he was able to see through the windshield, he yelled.

"Where are you-?!"

"Nearest exit," said Maddie, and they dove through the natural portal in the floor.

------------

“The Ice King” is a wip I started writing back in 2016/2017.  There are about 50,000 words so far, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever finish it.  I’m still in love with the concept, however, and will probably post more scenes from it in the future.  

#tfc writes #danny phantom #dp #maddie fenton #walker #ice powers #gradual secret reveal #maddie pov #protective danny #wulf

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXIV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Book 6 is oficially finished but I still have a lot of editing to do bc I still don’t like it much jsdjs -Danny

Words: 3,387 

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listent to: ‘Say Something’ -by A Great Big World

Chapter Twelve: The New Routine.

Mel was making zero progress on Occlumency, but she was quite good at Legilimency. 

She blamed this on the fact that she was now having one lesson every two weeks instead of once a week, which made her progress go slower.

Thankfully though, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned his brother at all, so she assumed her grandad had kept things to himself. On Monday, the girl walked into the common room and noticed a small group of her friends around the notice board.

— by order of—

The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts

All Student Organizations, Societies, Teams, Groups, and Clubs are henceforth disbanded.

An Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students.

Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge)...

Mel stormed out of the place. She didn't speak until she reached the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall. Fred, George, Neville, Ginny and Dean sat around her.

"We didn't say a thing."

"We promise, Mel."

"I know you didn't," She said. "Hermione jinxed the parchment you signed, she told me yesterday. You wouldn't be all lively have you been the ones to blame."

"What was supposed to happen?"

"Dunno, but it was supposed to hurt and it was supposed to be noticeable," She forced a spoonful of cereal down her throat, just to have something to do and calm her spirits.

"No one looks injured," Ginny looked around the Great Hall. "Most of the people that were in the meeting are here, but we would've heard if any had woken up with their faces all messed up, right?"

Mel dropped her spoon.

"I told Hermione this would happen! If my Grandfather wasn't the one–"

"Your grandfather?" Neville asked.

"–Then someone heard us, someone who clearly doesn't want us to learn," She ignored Neville's question.

Hermione, Harry and Ron sat close to the group, immediately they all dropped questions on them as well.

"Did you see it?"

"D'you reckon she knows?"

"What are we going to do?"

"We're going to do it anyway, of course," Harry looked at her. "If that's okay with you."

"Why wouldn't it be?" She asked grumpily. "Oh, how I'm wishing to vanish that silly grin of the Toad's face..."

"Knew you'd say that," George hit Harry's arm lightly.

"The prefects as well?" said Fred, looking over at Ron and Hermione.

"Of course."

"Here comes Ernie and Hannah Abbott," said Ron worryingly. "And those Ravenclaw blokes and Smith... and no one looks very spotty."

"Never mind spots, the idiots can't come over here now, it'll look really suspicious — sit down!" She gestured to rejoin their tables. "Later! We'll — talk — to — you — later!"

"I'll take care of them," Mel got up.

"I'll tell Michael," said Ginny, getting up as well. "The fool, honestly... are you all right?"

"Peachy," She replied dryly.

"I saw the way Cho and Harry were ogling at each other the day of the meeting... I'm sorry."

"I don't care," Mel raised a brow, still looking forward. "I'm actually considering asking Fred on a date, you know?"

Before she could hear Ginny's reaction, she quickly approached Hannah and Ernie.

"Morning, guys!" Mel smiled tightly, putting her arms around their shoulders. "Come, let's go to your table..."

"Mel, have you seen–?"

"I have," She insisted, turning them around gently. "Now let's go to your table so we can talk about it calmly..."

"We need permission to re-form the Quidditch team," Ron told her as soon as they sat down to hear Binn's lecture"

"I know, it said so in the parchment," Mel gave him a sorrowful look. "Don't worry Ron, she can't forbid the team to play, it would be unfair, and as long as Harry doesn't give her more reasons to punish him everything will turn out fine."

"Did Ernie and Hannah gave you trouble?"

"Not at all, they were quite understanding," She smiled softly. "I like them, they're good... Very discrete as well, promised they would let their friends know but only when they were sure they were the only ones listening, so you can cross Zach out of your list, he didn't spill the potion."

Twenty minutes into the lesson Hedwig appeared in the window seal, Harry went to get her and came back with a dreadful discovery.

"Oh, Merlin..." Mel gasped in horror.

The bird's wing was twisted in a way it shouldn't have been possible. It was obvious that she was not okay.

Harry stood up and told Professor Bins he didn't feel well, and he needed to go to the hospital wing. Most of their classmates glanced curiously at them but didn't stop him from leaving. The expression on his face was enough to break her heart. Harry was extremely worried about Hedwig, and she was too.

She wondered how was he taking all the news, must've been frustrating for him, after being so excited about standing up for what he believed in. She tried to talk to him after breakfast, but the words simply didn't come, she felt stuck, not knowing how to interact with him anymore.

"Poor Hedwig!" Ron frowned. "It's weird, she'd never been injured before, had she? D'you reckon she was attacked by another animal?"

"This is too much of a coincidence," Mel shook her head, "first the notice board, now this... they're watching us, every form of communication..."

Then it occurred to her. Not every form of communication was being watched, she still had one.

"I need to talk to Erick," She rummaged through her pockets and pulled out her watch.

"Why him?" Ron rolled his eyes. "Do you really think he has the solution for everything?"

"No you dunce," Mel scowled at him. "But for this particular problem, he does..."

She tapped the front of her watch with her wand, then she closed it and held onto it tightly.

"I hope so, at least."

"Who's the letter from anyway?" asked Ron, taking the note from Harry.

"Snuffles," said Harry quietly.

" 'Same time, same place'? Does he mean the fire in the common room?"

"Obviously," said Hermione, also reading the note. She looked uneasy. "I just hope nobody else has read this..."

"But it was still sealed and everything, and nobody would understand what it meant if they didn't know where we'd spoken to him before, would they?"

"I guess so..." Mel put a hand in her pocket and touched her watch. She was hoping her friend could make it on time. "We need to be smarter, though. She clearly has gone through it all."

"It wouldn't be exactly difficult to reseal the scroll by magic..." Hermione agreed. "And if anyone's watching the Floo Network... but I don't really see how we can warn him not to come without that being intercepted too!"

Draco Malfoy was standing just outside Snape's classroom door, waving around a piece of parchment and talking in the tone Mel knew he only used when he wanted to show off, which was always.

"Yeah, Umbridge gave the Slytherin Quidditch team permission to continue playing straight away, I went to ask her first thing this morning. Well, it was pretty much automatic, I mean, she knows my father really well, he's always popping in and out of the Ministry... It'll be interesting to see whether Gryffindor are allowed to keep playing, won't it?"

"Don't rise," Hermione whispered. "It's what he wants..."

"I mean, if it's a question of influence with the Ministry, I don't think they've got much chance... From what my father says, they've been looking for an excuse to sack Arthur Weasley for years... And as for Potter... My father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's... apparently, they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic... reckon the Dumbledores would feel at home there as well."

Before Mel could stop him, Neville launched himself towards the Slytherins.

"Neville, no!" Harry seized the back of Neville's robes. Malfoy could not believe his eyes. "Help me!"

Crabbe and Goyle closed in front of Malfoy. Mel stepped forward, trying to stand as tall as she could. Ron grabbed the boy's arms and he and Harry dragged Neville away.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Mel said quietly, so calm and composed she surprised herself. "You're way slower than me even with your wands ready. Get lost."

"Not... funny... don't... Mungo's... show... him..."  She heard Neville panting behind her.

"I know, Neville," She said, though she kept her eyes fixed on the Slytherin boys. "He didn't mean to be so stupid. Right, Malfoy? Aren't you going to ask them to stop, Prefect?"

Malfoy, maybe because he could sense he wouldn't be able to win this fight, growled to Crabbe and Goyle to step back.

"Fighting, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom?" Snape walked out of the dungeons.

Mel turned to the boys and mouthed 'let him go!'. The boys obeyed her right away.

"He was feeling ill, Professor," She turned around and held Snape's sneer.

"Inside. All of you." He said shortly before entering his dungeon again.

Neville turned to look at his friends in a way he'd never done before.

"I had to stop you," Harry said slowly, picking up their friend's bag. "Crabbe and Goyle would've torn you apart."

"I would never let that happen," Mel walked up to Neville and put a hand on his shoulder. "You hear me, Nev? I would never."

Neville remained quiet, he brushed off her hand and snatched his bag away from Harry's grip. Entering the room in a flash.

"What in the name of Merlin," said Ron in awe, "was that about?"

Harry and Mel were aware of Neville's parents, but it was still a secret, much like every thing in her life right now. Harry said nothing, he was looking at her with a strange scowl, she felt like he was almost mad she had decided to step in. Mel didn't care about it, she let out a tired sigh.

"Everyone has their limits, Ron. Malfoy found his..."

She passed the table she would usually occupy with the group and instead joined Neville, thinking he would be needing extra help being too distracted to pay attention to the lesson.

"I don't need–"

"No need to act all tough and proud," Mel sat down determinedly. "I'm not here to pity you. I'm here to make sure you don't blow up anything."

He lowered his gaze to his cauldron, he didn't try to usher her away after that.

"You will notice," said Snape suddenly, "that we have a guest with us today."

Umbridge was sitting at the darkest corner of the dungeon, it surprised her how she hadn't noticed her there, even though she was wearing her usual blinding pick robes.

"We are continuing with our Strengthening Solutions today, you will find your mixtures as you left them last lesson, if correctly made they should have matured well over the weekend — instructions... on the board. Carry on."

Mel poured her whole attention on her work, she made sure Neville could be a decent student this time as well. She would glance from time to time to Umbridge, trying to guess what she was doing.

"Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level," Umbridge commented to Snape. "Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus. Now... how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?"

"Fourteen years."

"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked Snape.

"Yes," said Snape quietly.

"But you were unsuccessful?"

"Obviously."

"And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"

"Yes..."

"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?"

"Because Snape's a git," Mel mumbled under her breath.

"I suggest you ask him," said Snape dryly.

"Oh I shall," Professor Umbridge smiled.

"I suppose this is relevant?"

"Oh yes. Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers' — er — backgrounds..."

"Of course they cared about their backgrounds now," Mel scoffed, still talking in a whisper. "They care about their hobbies, don't they? If they have a knack for fighting governments during the weekends? What a bunch of–"

"Mel, your potion," Neville warned her, noticing the way it was starting to show a green smoke.

"Woops!" She quickly did some arrangements, and the potion was back to normal. "Thanks, Neville."

"I reckon I did well enough in today's lesson!" Neville said proudly, beaming at her. "Thank you for your help..."

"It was a pleasure," She smiled back.

"Sorry for Harry though... you saw how Snape vanished his potion again?"

"Yeah," Mel frowned. "What a twat, but Harry should really try harder..."

"It's weird to hear you talk about him like that," Neville said innocently. "You usually are the first to defend him..."

"I'm the first to defend any of you," She corrected. "I'm not going to support him blindly– I mean, you did well today and you were having a bad morning too, right?"

Neville's smile faded.

"Reckon so, yeah..."

"Hey, I know it's not my place but..." She pondered how to say it without scaring him away. "Whatever got you all worked up, well, I'm always here if you need to talk. You're my friend as much as Harry or Ron..."

When they reached the marble staircase Mel remembered she had a meeting to attend, so she said goodbye to Neville and told him she would meet him in Divination. She ran to the very back of the library and found Erick standing in the corner, peering over a shelf towards the hall. Mel tiptoed until she was right behind him and scared him.

Erick jumped, hitting the side of his face on the edge of the bookshelf. The boy cursed rather loudly and stepped back, a hand rubbing his cheek.

"What is your problem?!"

"Lower your voice!" Mel said in horror. "I'm so sorry! Let me see your face–"

"Don't–"

"C'mon, I can help!"

Mel pulled his hand away and tilted his face towards the light. His cheek was slightly red, but it was uninjured.

"I don't think it'll bruise..." She said, getting closer to him. "What in the name of Godric were you doing? Who are you stalking?"

"I'm not stalking anyone," He complained. "I was... Lately I've been– Move away, will you? You're making me nervous..."

He pushed her aside gently and moved towards the nearest table.

"Let's make this quick," He told her, sitting down. "I want to eat something before Potions, Merlin knows I need it..."

Mel quickly told him about Hedwig and how they were obviously being watched after their meeting in Hogsmeade, Erick listened so intently that he even forgot about making his usual sarcastic remarks, once she ended, he half-smiled.

"You already found a solution, didn't you?"

Mel put her pocket watch on the table and looked at him with resolution.

"We want to keep going," She pointed to the little object on the table. "And we need something like this to spread the news safely and with the certainty that only those who belong in the group are the ones getting it."

"You clever girl..." Erick supported both arms on the table and stared at the watch, his brain already going a thousand miles per hour. "What do you need?"

"Well, for starters, I need to know the charm."

"It'll be easy, you're talented enough– Protean charm, don't forget it."

"We need something like this," She lifted the watch and stared at it. "But people carrying similar watches around the school would be too suspicions... and they're not exactly cheap..."

"You don't need to buy several of the same," Erick replied. "Just reproduce one."

"What?" Mel blinked.

Erick rolled his eyes.

"A doubling charm, you goose. Learn how to do it and you'll get copies of anything in the blink of an eye."

"Oh! Okay..." She smiled.

"Tell Hermione about it," Erick peered over her shoulder anxiously. "I would help you, but we can't take risks and I rather not know a lot about your plans in case... you know..."

"Yes," Mel nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem," He nodded, the concern coming back to his features.

"It's everything okay?"

"What? Why?" He blinked, stepping away from the table. "I'm fine, just tired... haven't slept well."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter..."

"Erick..." She insisted, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stay in place.

He looked everywhere but her, until finally, Erick let out a strange noise that sounded like half a growl and he rubbed his eyes furiously before pushing her hand away and starting to speak.

"My Grandad..."

Mel felt something heavy on her chest and nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If it helps... I'm right here."

He nodded, eyes fixed on the ground.

"I know."

Mel continued with her day, spending most of it with Neville to make sure Malfoy wouldn't take advantage of him if he were to find him alone.

Back in the common room, she saw no reason not to waste her night away with the twins, who were currently showing to a curious crowd their newest products. Her mind had started to drift to what she'd said to Ginny a few hours earlier, but was soon interrupted when she witnessed Fred vomiting into a bucket and forcing a purple candy down his throat.

She was still having fun though, collecting the money and giving the Skiving Snackbox to their new owners. Lee Jordan and George Weasley would take turns with Fred so he wouldn't get all weak from the constant vomiting. She was highly thankful for the vanishing spell, otherwise, that bucket would be beyond disgusting.

Hermione would constantly glare at her and scoff, but Mel smiled innocently through it all. It wasn't her fault what the twins were doing, and they were technically doing nothing against the rules. Her housemates needed this kind of entertainment considering the shitty year they were all having.

"Here's your part, lady," Fred held out a small bunch of sickles for her to take. The crowd had dispersed a while ago, and they've been counting their money before going to bed.

Mel frowned and pushed it back.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were the beautiful assistant back there!" Fred said. "Half of our sells occurred just because you were the one taking the money– Am I wrong, George?"

"Those third-years have it bad for you, Lady," George smirked.

"You've become quite popular overnight," Lee raised a brow. "Don't you remember what the older Gryffindors used to say?"

"Oh yes," Mel laughed. "I was the little feral thing, wasn't I? They would compare me to peeves and all... can't say I miss it."

"You were never like Peeves, though," Fred smiled. "Peeves is quieter."

"Sod off!" She exclaimed over the boys' laughter. "I've changed, haven't I? Didn't really think about it until now..."

"Well, you don't yell at strangers in the halls anymore..."

"And you don't want to fight everyone either..."

"I did all that for stupid reasons," Mel glanced towards Harry. "Really stupid reasons, if you ask me..."

The boys shared a knowing look. Everyone knew at this point that asking her about what had happened between Harry and her was useless, neither of them would say a thing.

"Time for bed, I s'pose," George yawned, getting up from his chair.

"You're sure you don't want this?" Fred raised a brow, showing her the money one last time.

"I don't need it, Fred."

"No need to brag about it," Lee scoffed, taking the money. "It's mine, then."

"Hey!" Fred slapped the back of his head. "Give it back! We're gonna split it!"

They continued their bickering as they disappeared behind the door to the boys' dormitory. Mel had a lazy smile on her face than soon worn out as she realized she'd been left alone in the room with Hermione, Ron and Harry. She got up slowly and made her way towards them.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world​ @sarcasticallywitty15 @21bruhs

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 20: Energy - The Green Sun Project Chap.10: Time To Score For The Cannibal Core

Danny’s gonna need a bit to recover and recover his energy. Energy that is very ectoplasm focused.

“DANNY!!!”. Danny winces a bit on the ground from the volume of that, but he isn’t about to bitch about his heightened hearing anywhere near his parents.

Sam and Tucker immediately grabbing his arms while going a little wide-eyed over the horrid state of his shirt. He probably looks like he got mauled, which he kinda had. By a scythe. Which was still hilarious. Danny mumbling an, “I'm fine”. Which of course gets two, “bullshit”’s in response. While his parents kneel next to him, Maddie hovering her fingers over him cautiously for a beat before pulling his shirt. Everyone, including Danny, sighing over the complete lack of injuries. ‘Massive thank you for your crazy ass healing, little buddy’.

‘Home’s home. Safe’

‘Yeah. Safe.... hopefully’. He absolutely appreciates his friends pulling him to sit up but his parents just look like they’re studying him. Jack looking in the direction where he had flopped out of a portal, “he came through a portal...”, then giving Maddie a look.

Sam and Tucker both scowl at his parents, Tucker moving to grab his legs and the two of them carry him off inside his house and to the couch. His parents don’t even bother following in a surprise to no one.

Sam grumbling, “there are times I truly hate your parents”. Danny just hums at that while Tucker pokes his shirt where there’s not bloodstains, “why’s your shirt look like you attempted to send it through a meat grinder?”.

Danny chuckles slightly emptily, “oh I don’t know. I just got impaled by a scythe, it’s no big deal. And shot a couple times, no problems here. Little mild abduction happened too, but we’re all good. I know what it’s like die now though, so that’s something to stamp out on the injury bingo card”. Both of them glare at him and his Core gives him a seriously unimpressed bass-boosted whine. Neither get to ask what the Hell as his parents come back in. Maddie walking over and kneeling to be on eye-level. ‘At least she’s attempting to seem gentle and genuinely worried about me and me alone’. “Sweetie, feel like telling us what happened? Were you in the Ghost Zone?”.

‘Okay, to lie or not to lie... that is the question. Dad totally saw the portal though. There’s so not another explanation for that and saying I don’t remember is, like, a super bad idea’. Having to make a point not to roll his eyes over Little Star sending a sad whine and comforting nuzzle. ‘Oh, it’s fine’.

Danny shrugs slightly, very pointedly ignoring the everything he’s also seeing at the moment; it was oddly already seeming like easily ignorable background noise or something. Not that he doesn’t totally appreciate the easy adjustment, “ah yeah. Ghostly abduction-”, he doesn’t even get to continue as his dad bursts out. “WHAT!?! It didn’t do anything to the Zone Core or try to take it!?!”, lifting up a blaster, “where is It and when can I shoot It!”.

‘Of course that’s what they care about’, expected but it still stung a little. His Core obviously agreeing with definitely audible bass-boosted sounds. That makes Maddie give a relieved sigh though, “It’s still making sounds, Jack dear. I think It’s fine”. Danny just scowls over being treated like he’s not even here. Maddie standing up and looking down at him, “you should have called us”.

Jack adding in, “was it that new ghost we spotted!?”, and cocks the blaster a little.

Danny would seriously prefer to be in his bed than on the couch, but of course his parents wanted to keep an eye on him. For experimentation purposes probably or just making sure he -his Core, the Zone Core- didn’t destabilise. Rolling his eyes, “it’s not my fault some psycho ghost shoved me through a portal. But no it wasn’t that ghost, dad”. No way is he telling them he can make portals now, they’d abuse that in a heartbeat. Or try to. Not like Danny would let them.

Grinning a little when he gets smacked in the face by a t-shirt, which is definitely Tucker’s fault.

‘To protect’

‘Yeah. That. Those two using me, us, as some kind of screwed up all-access pass to the Zone is super not cool. They’ll be Zone damned before I let them use me like that’. Forcing himself not to smile at the nuzzling and faint hum. While he pushes himself to sit up and goes about getting out of his ruined shirt, pulling the new one over his head.

Only kinda listening as Maddie speaks, “you need to be more careful, Danny. Not only were you completely unprotected but who knows what could have happened to the Core in there”. Danny sighs as she keeps going, “I’m this close to making your wear a hazmat full-time”. Which just makes Danny groan tiredly as she snatched away his shirt and inspects it, handing it off to Jack who runs down to the lab. Hooray, he was providing samples.

Maddie looks back to him, “do you have any idea why you were targeted?”. Sam rounding on her, “he doesn’t need to explain to you. He needs to rest”. Tucker just nods strongly.

Maddie rolls her eyes disappointedly at the teens and sounds like she’s talking to naive children, “we need to know. Who knows what would happen if ghosts got their filthy ectoplasmic hands on the Zone Core. The energy in It is extremely powerful and pure, a ghost could raise the world into oblivion with that kind of power. Danny obviously knows better than to use such disgusting things but any ghost would eagerly try to take advantage of him if they found out what he has”, huffing, “that’s why It was supposed to be and stay in proper containment”.

Sam’s scowl deepens, “so what? Danny clearly handled himself just damn fine. You breathing down his neck doesn’t help anything”.

“He could have useful information!”.

“Is that all you care about?!?”.

Maddie looks appalled, “of course not! He’s my son!”.

Sam snapping, “sure doesn’t sound like it”, and turns her back on Maddie. Her and Tucker moving to yank him up off the couch and drag him up to his room. Which he is totally cool with. ‘My room would be seriously so much nicer’. His Core giving a soft hum in agreement. He does pause a bit, signally to his friends to hold up for a bit. ‘I should at least ease their worries, because they are kinda founded. Those ghosts did show up to steal Little Star after all. Plus... if I’m never ‘forthcoming’ with information they’re gonna get suspicious of me’.

‘Let. Mean’

‘Yeah but they’ll be worse if they think they can’t trust me. Plus maybe if they realise they don’t know everything they’ll maybe possibly be open to new ideas. Doubtful but it’s worth a shot’ only getting annoyed bass-boosting in return.

“Hey”. Getting his mom's attention while he can feel his friends giving him ‘I hope you know what you’re doing’ looks. “The Core did that zapping thing so no ghosts actually got close”.

She nods and hums, looking genuinely relieved which was nice to see even if it might not be over his well-being entirely or at all. “While I’m happy, that might have drained It, Danny”.

Danny deciding to stick with the sorta honesty train, “yeah it did. Kinda wound up in the centre of the Zone place and ‘restocked’ or whatever”. She just blinks, hums, and runs off down to the lab. The three teens all rolling their eyes and helping drag Danny up to bed.

He just lets them toss him down in bed with a tired groan. Tucker snorting, “wow you sound impressively tired. Coffee?”.

Danny grumbles into the blankets, “probably a bad idea. The freaking god of time -yes we meet- said Am needs to fix me up”.

“From... the impaling?”. Danny and his Core hum a yes. While Sam scowls at the now-closed door, “Zone do they have to be so, so, so self-centred! Their kid gets abducted and all they care about is their damn science project!”.

Danny lifts up a finger, “technically their son is the science project“. She chucks a slipper at him, “that is not what I mean and you know it!”.

Tucker pats Danny’s back, “so, god of time huh? Nice”. Danny smirks and gives him a weak high-five, “they're kinda the one that went scythe happy on me though, also saved my life though so I’m getting some serious mixed messages. But hey, the Observants wanted me super dead so I’ll take it”.

He can feel his two friends staring at him. Tucker falling on his ass on the ground laughing, “your first genuine ghostly encounter and it’s the freaking Observants and a mythological god. Your luck man!”.

Danny lifts his hand up to give a thumbs up, “and turns out the Zone Core needs to actually be connected to the Zone to do the whole supporting it thing. So that happened. I can see literally the entire Zone right now”, all of them chuckle at the sad whining, “hey now, it’s weird but I’m good. I don’t feel like I’m on acid anymore”.

Tucker actually sounds worried now, “maybe you should stay home for a while”. Sam scowls, “oh like his ‘parents’ won’t force him purely for observation. Have to make sure their precious little project is perfectly fine and dandy”, everyone can feel the sarcasm dripping off her words there.

‘Agree. Mean. No like’

‘You’re not wrong. But you can’t help who your parents are. Who made you. And technically they’re your parents too. They made you too’. He ignores the slight bass-boosted sound and yawns tiredly.

Sam sighing and sounding like she just kicked Tucker, “obviously we should let you rest, but is Am tired too? Considering what you told your... ‘mom’”.

Tucker perks up, “oh yeah, you said It replenished. You actively absorbing ectoplasm now? Like a sponge”.

Danny chuckles, that probably would have been preferable to being sorta force-fed even if it felt stupid good. “Let's just say putting ghost hunger on that test might have bit me in the ass”, he can easily hear Sam gag so he adds on, “only ghost flowers though, Sam”. His Core making a low content purr, obviously having no problem with Its enjoyable meal.

Sam absolutely notices, “why are you purring”, but sounds like she doesn’t actually want to know.

“Oh because it is positively delicious”. ‘Purr more just to gross her out’ and smirking to himself over his Core doing just that, though with added crackling.

“You disgust me”.

“I would ask to try but, you know, that would melt my stomach lining”.

“And you disgust me even more”.

Danny just laughs, passing out minutes later.

-

Is Danny surprised he slept for an entire day? No, not at all. Sure he had been stirred awake a couple times from coldness when his parents had come to check on him and had had a few groggy tired conversations. But for the most part, he slept like a rock. Though the entire time he was sleeping it was like he was having an out-of-body experience and floating around the Zone, his mind mentally focusing in on different spots and places. It was cool but also the weirdest ‘dreams’ ever.

He wouldn’t mind sleeping more though because even now he was still absolutely exhausted, which fine made sense. He appreciates being able to feel Little Star feeding him energy, definitely not enough though. But hey, he got the rest of the week off -which was honestly only one day but whatever- for ‘getting caught up in a ghost attack’. Downside? His parents hovering like they’re watching a Petri dish that’s not doing its shit fast enough. At least that’s what he remembers from his half-awake conversations. He’s also pretty sure his mom ran an energy scanner on him, which made sense considering he had told her about depleting his Core’s energy and just being in the Zone, in general, warranted getting scanned. He’s pretty sure he caught her muttering about him basically having an endless tolerance for ectoplasm. ‘Which I had kinda figured. Told ya you didn’t need to worry about me getting ecto in my system’

‘Good safe. Need rest’

‘Heh. You mother henning me is honestly hilarious. Humans can’t sleep endlessly though. Don’t think I even can sleep anymore for now’

‘Human, ???. Sleep, ???’

Danny can’t help chuckling at that, muttering tiredly into his blankets and scrunching them up into his face, “my humanness and human things will likely always be strange for you. Though I’m guessing my tiredness is entirely not a human thing. Low in ecto”. Rolling onto his back and bunching up his pillow some as his Core hums and pulses in that comforting way. Which yeah, he’s come to quite enjoy. Sighing in content tiredness, “yeah. So sleeping honestly probably isn’t helping me much”.

‘Help yes. Absorb ectoplasm easier’

“Huh”. ‘Guess I should try sleeping more then. Don’t go gettin’ your hopes up’. Chuckling a little over getting a bit of bubbling.

Not ten minutes later Maddie knocks and comes in, smiling when she spots he’s already awake, “still feeling tired, sweetie?”.

Danny nods, “yeah”, and yawns a little just because.

Maddie holds up a solid plastic cup with a lid and straw, “whipped up something that might help”. Maddie walks it over and Danny takes it gingerly. Danny guesses by the way she stands and watches him that she’s pretty well just testing something on him. Looking at the cup, which is obviously intentionally set up so he can’t see what’s inside, ‘hey, if this is purified Zone core ectoplasm -Defted ectoplasm?- you’ve got to not freak out on me. I don’t want her seeing me behave like that. Okay?’. Danny brings the straw to his mouth as the whine in his head changes to a slight accepting hum.

Taking a sip and yup, Defted ectoplasm. Opening and closing his mouth a few times and pulling away from the drink to make it seem like he’s never tasted this before, “uh, that’s a lot of lemon, lime, and... white chocolate?”; the lemon and lime telling him there was just plain ol’ regular ectoplasm mixed in. Weird choice but damnit, now he was hungry; and maybe this would actually help. His parents weren’t morons, they did have good ghost-related ideas.

‘CONSUME’

‘I know, I know. Wait for her to leave’

Maddie nods, and Danny doesn’t miss the slight smile, her speaking as she heads to his door, “well you should probably drink all of it. Feel better okay?”. Danny nods as she closes the door.

Waiting only a beat before physically tearing off the cup lid, licking his tongue around the straw and inside of the lid, before putting that to the side. He can feel Little Star trying to jerk his hands to his mouth, ‘slow slow, don’t wanna, spill. Want all, right’

‘YES’

Danny smirks as he bends the cup slightly to angle it so that he can get as much into his mouth at once. Gulping it down greedily and moaning slightly, Core practically singing with purrs and hums. Elongating his tongue so he can lick over every inch, before putting the cup on the side table; screwing back on the lid with a sigh. Patting at his chest, ‘better?’. Getting happy humming in return.

Licking his lips and turning back over, sigh another small moan and snuggling into the blankets again; falling back asleep pretty quickly.

-

The next time he wakes up, Sam and Tucker are chilling in his room playing on their handhelds in their beanie bags. Him watching them for a bit before deciding to chuck a pillow at Tucker, not Sam because he has some sense. Least he felt genuinely less tired now.

“What the! Ack!”, Tucker snaps his head to him, abandoning the game on the floor, “Danny dude! You’re up!”.

Sam smacks him as she gets up too, “quiet before you get his parents up here”. Tucker just rolls his eyes as they sit on his bed. Sam points at the cup on the side table, “your mom dropped that off”.

Tucker chuckles, “with a warning for us not to touch it, ominous as fuck”.

Danny chuckles, Core bubbling too, “well it’s pure purified ecto so that's fair. I don’t think she’s realised I know that though”. Sam immediately sends the cup a scowl, Tucker meanwhile nudges him to drink it. Which honestly just makes him chuckle more and go from just bubbling to crackling. Which Sam smacks him lightly for, “stop that”, pointing at Tucker, “and you, don’t encourage him. If he needs it that’s one thing, though he absolutely should be asking where it’s coming from. Because so help me if they are just bleeding some ghost dry-”.

Danny feels the need to butt in with that because no way would he drink that then, “Sam it’s mostly the stuff from the centre of the Zone, which is at most from some plants. The rest is absolutely just sapped from the portal. I would know if there was a ghost here, which right never got a chance to mention I can sense ghosts and how strong they are”.

Tucker claps him on the shoulder, “Zone damn that’s awesome man. Guessing that’s why your breath went all visible icy mist”.

“Bingo”.

Sam rolls her eyes though smiling, “alright that’s okay, sorta, then”.

‘Good. Ego one no mad. Drink now?’ Making Danny snort and roll his eyes.

“Hey, I said it was alright”.

Danny blinks at Sam and laughs a little, “no. Not rolling my eyes at you”, and laughs a bit more while he pushes himself to sit up. Tucker finger-guns at him, “half a conversation”. This time Danny is absolutely rolling his eyes at his friends as he grabs up his cup, ripping off the lid and looking down. ‘Yup. More ecto’

‘Want, ?’ The unsureness of that makes him chuckle a little, little guy was being considerate. Or as much as It could be past the instincts, though him feeling less tired probably helped in that regard. Weird that he was awake enough to actually be able to tell that that heavy wetness in his veins that he’s become used to was ‘lighter’ than normal. ‘Well that’s one way to know I’m low, huh’.

‘Want’

‘Geez someone’s pushy’.

“Do we want to know why you’re just staring at it?”. Danny jumps a little from Sam’s voice, spilling some on his hand, “oh damn”. Both of them lean away slightly but laugh a bit at him licking his hand off, him muttering, “damn”, again and humming to cover up the whole moaning thing; he does absently note the fizzing to his eyes though as he effectively dumps the cup in his mouth. ‘Well that’s new, guessing I was too, ah, low before to be all, eye sparky’ getting some agreeing humming but it’s mostly pleased humming and pulsing in his chest.

“Your eyes are all green again dude, also, ten bucks says you can’t stop drinking right now”. Danny flips him off but... doesn’t stop. Tucker immediately laughs at him.

Danny licking off the cup and pointing at Tucker as he puts the cup to the side, “shush, nothing from Mr. Meat Sense. None of us have normal diets, at least mine is just ‘cause I’m ecto-drained from, like, so much bullshit”.

Tucker smirks but points at him, “speaking of bullshit, so you lowkey fought an Observant? Badass man, put that on your resume”.

Danny blinks at him, “Tuck, I’m pretty sure all of them were there. It was like an army of floating eyeball assholes in cloaks and precisely one dude with a clock fetish”. Danny squinting at an image from the Zone getting pushed into the forefront of his sight by his bubbling Core, an image of ClockWork holding a sign reading ‘clocks are quite fashionable, Daniel’. ‘Oh my Zone, yes I like this bastard of a ghost’

“Wow. How did you not die”.

“I did. I explicitly mentioned that”.

Tucker sticks his hands out to the side, “I didn’t think you were serious”. Sam points at both Tucker then him, “to be fair, you have claimed to have been killed by a great many things not limited to: cold coffee, an old brown shoe, a hairball, the new ceiling fan-”.

Danny butts in there, “hey, the ceiling fan did try to kill me”.

She points at him, “but did it succeed? No”, putting her hands on her hips, “and Danny, you almost die at least once a year”. Everyone chuckles at his Core whining very unhappily at that, Danny giving his chest a little pat.

Danny flops to lay back down, arms spread out, “you know, kinda surprised Little Star didn’t wake me up when y’all showed. Did every time my parents came in”.

Tucker grins, “I think It’s saying It trusts us more than them”.

‘Yes. Good homes’ home. Orange, blue, bad’

‘Fair. And my friends aren’t about to stab me with a needle in my sleep or shoot me first thing in the morning might I add’

Grinning at the bubbling before looking to his friends, “yup, little guy approves of you guys”. Both of them grin stupidly at that.

Sam starts up as her and Tucker both flop down in the bed on either side of him, “we got back our test results by the by. Almost everyone failed”.

“If you guys did I am making you sit through one of dad’s lectures”.

Both of them immediately shouting, “oh Zone no! Zone be damned not happening”.

Danny smirks and chuckles, “why I’ll have you know I damned myself a long time ago”, earning a very satisfactory round of groans, “but seriously, am I about to bleed disappointment?”.

Sam rolls her eyes enough to move her head with the motion, “with us and Valerie? Naw. Everyone else? Very. I know at least four people who only got one right”.

Danny screws his face up ‘you've got to be kidding me’, “how the Zone does that happen? Half that shit was bare basic common knowledge! Most else was barely above that!”, groaning and getting crackled at, “man Lancer so won the bet”.

Tucker leans over him, “you made a bet against him? How much? Do I get anything?”. Sam leans up just to shove Tucker off the bed, “you idiot”.

Danny chuckles, “no, just means I’m stuck teaching a class now. Screw both of you”, while Tucker crawls back onto the bed. Neither give him looks of sympathy. ‘Those bastards’ his Core crackling more. ‘You bastard’.

Danny is perfectly content with the silence until Jazz busts in, without even knocking fuck you, “Danny, you need to do whatever hides that glow and turn off your eyes”.

All three jerk to sit up, “what? Why?”.

She crosses her arms looking annoyed, “G.I.W. are here, again. They picked up on the portal problem you caused. You better not make this a reoccurring thing, I like getting to study in peace sometimes”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “hey that wasn’t my fault”.

“Don’t care. Just be normal”.

Danny shakes his head at the closing door. ‘Aaaaaaaaaand she’s gone. Can’t let anything take her away from her schooling, can she? Ugh whatever. Hey bud? You good to curl up? Because yeah no, hard pass on those twats finding you even slightly’

‘Bad. Hide. Trick. No absorb ecto’

‘Ah well appreciate the heads up’

Danny sighs and rubs at the twisted up feeling, grumbling, “hooray. More hiding. Fun”, and wincing from his stomach dropping or something, putting his hand over his stomach, “oh”.

Tucker laughs, “what? Can’t handle the ecto now?”, and laughs more. Danny laughs himself, “I very much feel like a human with a stomach full of ecto yes”.

Sam scowling, “could we not?”. Making both boys snicker at her; Danny giving his chest another comforting pat letting Little Star know he’s alright. He could feel the ectoplasm rolling and bubbling, which was weird as shit. ‘I’ve eaten weirder. Rather this over the rotten underwear again’

#ectober #ectober2020 #ectober 2020 #danny phantom #phandom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #maddie fenton #jack fenton #zone core! danny #ghost zone core au #ghost hunger #danny being a little shit #recovery #fan fic #phan phic #my writing #phantomphangphucker

[five-wow]

Feel free to talk a lot about your theory of how McDanno was always stronger when there was heteronormativity nearby so that it was safe, and how that plays into the finale!

Ooh, thank you! That is an interesting question, and not one I had related directly to the finale before, though it certainly works on all kinds of levels, so I will take that “talk a lot” very literally and just ramble a bit.

Honestly, the most obvious way I think this comes into play is outside of the story, where the entire two-part finale (I’m including 10.21 here, since they were originally going to be aired as one) was about Steve and Danny and how important they are to each other and how Steve would probably have found a way to literally turn the entire island upside down and water torture gravity into dropping Danny into his arms if Danny’s disappearance had gone on for long enough, and then Catherine showed up in the last five minutes after having been mentioned like, twice, briefly, in the very last episode of this 22-episode season. The messaging felt very much as if “Steve loves Danny!” was being shouted at us on a loop and then there was a single “but he’s a HETEROSEXUAL man who is NOT GAY because he is HETEROSEXUAL” tacked onto the end in the form of a character showing up in a way that really made no sense for anyone, least of all her, which conveniently helped viewers dispell any thoughts about Steve maybe, y’know, wanting to be with Danny in more than one way. Catherine was not there for herself - she was there for Steve’s happy end, which needed to include a hetero love interest, because that is what a happy end is, right? The way they made her return, she was less of a character making a decision and more of a prop thrown at Steve’s character that was supposed to make us think “ah yes, now he can be happy again!” even though it went very much counter against what the entire season had been making us think a happy end for him would look like.

(Sidenote, this is also (part of) why it makes me very sad to see Catherine hate show up in people’s responses to the finale - I get that emotions run high and it’s easy to blame her for things, but she really, really, really isn’t at fault. As much as this ending wasn’t fair to Steve or Danny, imo it was also extremely unfair to Catherine. (Also, I don’t expect many people who ship Steve/Cath to end up reading this, but if anyone does, I just want to add that that’s super valid and if you did like the ending because your ship was given a very obvious and maybe unexpected chance, I get that and I’m happy for you! I personally don’t think it was a good move for any of the characters with the way it was executed, but I also deeply empathize with rooting for your ship and taking what you get, my gosh.))

(ANOTHER sidenote, I want to clarify that I don’t think the entire reason for the writers making Cath show up is that there was too much emotion between Steve and Danny in 10.21 and 10.22. It was an ending that didn’t rely on the logic of the story, but on viewers’ learned bias saying that any man + any woman = happy, romantic end. There’s obviously a lot more there, but it also happens to playvery nicely into the formula of Steve and Danny getting A Moment (or even Moments, plural) and then being shielded from the shadows of gay doubts by throwing in something sufficiently straight-looking.)

In story, though? In story this would also be a Whole Thing that fits depressingly well. I do think it’s fair to note that Steve didn’t really seem to have any part in his decision to fly off with Catherine - she showed up, orchestrated by other parties, and then he took her hand, but he didn’t ask her to come. That’s something, I guess! At the same time, he did kind of… make the choice to very literally run away from where Danny is after this whole Emotional Journey they (and Steve especially) went on. Steve’s been feeling off, like this comfortable spot he carved for himself on the islands wasn’t fitting anymore, and Danny was very obviously very worried and was immediately designated the unofficial spokesperson for the whole thing, because duh, everyone knows how ridiculously close they are. Then Danny got kidnapped (somewhat because of how much Steve cares for him, even though deeper down it’s mostly Doris’s fault, but obviously Steve would take on that guilt because it was just lying around - free real estate!) and Steve lost his mind and held Danny’s hand and Danny didn’t respond negatively to that at all, and they had some lovely moments. Then Steve decides he still needs to get away and up and leaves, so very literally leaving Danny behind. Then Cath shows up, unexpectedly, and lo and behold, Steve’s (former) Great Romance! The one that got away, as he just told Cole (so the audience would feel like this wasn’t out of the blue)! The woman he wanted to marry at some point and that he hasn’t seen in a year and a half (to the best of our knowledge) and the absolute perfect convincingly straight antidote to Steve’s emotional turmoil related to his male BFF/partner/dude he’s kinda married to and keeps telling how much he loves him. Once on the plane, Danny is not even there anymore and with the exception of Catherine herself there’s literally no one Steve knows present who could be judging him, but being a little ambiguously romantic with Cath might settle some of his own internal fears about where things with Danny were (once again) headed, so he takes Cath’s hand. It’s easy, safe, straight. All very comforting things.

And I just. The HAND HOLDING is my favorite part of the finale, honestly, because it’s so blatant. Steve holds Danny’s hand at Danny’s bedside, teary and praying to a literal God to make sure Danny is okay, and then Danny makes light of it by asking why Steve let go. Are they fighting now, Danny asks? That  implies holding hands is the normal state for them and not holding hands is Bad, even though two grown men holding hands is a very loaded thing in much of western culture and we’ve never seen them do it before because they’re very touchy with each other but in very specific ways, bound to very specific rules, and random hand holding is distinctly not okay under those strict social guidelines. And then. AND THEN. We close the episode with Steve offering Catherine his hand and Catherine taking it and Steve turning to look out the window and smiling vaguely, and the parallel kind of smacks you in the face and I find it both very funny and very sad and wonder if the writers even realized it at all, or whether maybe it was entirely intentional and meant as a nice nod to McDanno shippers because we were never going to get canon McDanno but at least this way we had, I guess, Steve’s implied hetero endgame romance play out in a way that also pretty literally happened with Danny earlier in the same episode, meaning that they’re at least sort of put on an equal footing? (Best way to interpret this: Steve is bi. It’s canon now.)

ANYWAY. Yes. I feel like this maybe veered off-topic, but I suppose the point is that Steve was allowed to hold Danny’s hand, but we had to be reassured he’d also want to hold Catherine’s, and Steve got to tell Danny he loves him and tear the island apart to get to him and ask God to take him instead of Danny and talk with Danny about how they both dream of a future in which they’re still side by side as old men while also currently living with Danny and both being single, but he had to then leave with Catherine so we would know that two single guys who live together and exchange I love yous while planning to grow old together aren’t actually [lowers voice to a hushed whisper] gay.

HOO! What a relief. I was really worried there for a second, guys.

(Also consider: all of that happens with Danny and it’s just guys being guys, just buddies being homies, just straight dudes being hetero, and then Steve takes Cath’s hand and maybe smiles a little and we’re supposed to infer it’s an epic romance. It’s fascinating to me how little straight you need to sprinkle in to completely even out the scales for most viewers, or even make them lean way in favor of “obviously he’s straight, why would you even think anything else, lol”.)

#anon #ask #mcdanno #finale #10.22 #10.21 #meta #* #i feel a need to add i really didn't dislike the finale as a whole and most of it was very cool #i just have some very wordy thoughts #(hashtag catherine rollins deserved better 2k20)

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White: Part 5

Part: [1] [2] [3] [4] 

read on [ffnet] / [ao3]

---

Danny looked up to see all eyes on him. Oh, right. He was in family therapy. Or, kind of family therapy. Jazz wasn’t here. Apparently Danny would be too overwhelmed if there were more than two of his family members in the same room with him in the hospital, so Jazz was left to fend for herself in the wilderness that was Casper High. Danny didn’t really care either way. After all, Jazz would just cry and try to pick apart his feelings in front of his parents, which was something he wanted to avoid, thank you very much. It was bad enough she had to do it at all. Danny wasn’t opposed to saving himself from that potential disaster.

“What?” Danny said.

“How are you feeling about being transferred to outpatient next week, Danny?” his therapist asked, tapping her slender fingers against the sleeves of her emerald shirt.

“Fine.”

She nodded as though he just poured his heart out to the audience. “Thank you. And you, Jack? How do you feel about Danny coming home next week?”

Jack looked down at his lap. When he spoke, his tone was soft. “I’m happy that he’s finally going to be coming home. But…”

“But?” the therapist prompted.

“But I’m worried. Obviously.”

“Why are you worried?”

A wry smile appeared on his lips. “I just love my family too much. When they’re hurting, I worry for them. It’s my natural response as a parent.”

“What about for Danny specifically? What about him moving home worries you?”

Jack’s smile fell, and he was silent for a moment, his gaze never leaving the blue carpet below him. “I’m worried because...I don’t want to do anything that will cause Danno to panic. I don’t want to hurt him. And I feel...I know I’m not the most observant guy around, but this is a whole new territory. And I’m not just talking about the...I mean, it’s just everything . There’s so much I don’t know. I want to know, and I understand why I don’t, but I love you too much, kiddo. I don’t want to hurt you. You mean the world to me.”

Beside him, Maddie started sniffling. Jack wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder like he did every family therapy session. He grabbed a tissue box and handed it to her.

“And Danny? Would you like to say anything as a response?” the therapist asked.

No. What he wanted to do was go take a nap.

“Uh…” Danny licked his lips. Keep it short. Practice it in your head before you say it. You can do it, just say the sentence. “I...I’m sorry if you—uh, you feel um...I’m okay. I’m fine. I—I’ll be okay.”

Goddamnit. Shit. Shit. He couldn’t even get through the sentence. He refused to make eye contact with his family, not wanting to see the anxiety-ridden expressions of his parents because he was supposed to be getting better in inpatient but he still couldn’t get through a simple “I’m fine” without stumbling around like a drunken barhopper.

“Danno, you don’t have to be strong for us. We’re your parents.”

“I’m fine, though.”

The therapist lowered her clipboard. “It’s okay, Danny. This is a safe area.”

This was so dumb. Why was he here again? He could be asleep. “Okay?”

“You seem unsure. Why is that?”

“No, no!” Danny held up his hands. His plan to fly under the radar was imploding by the second. “I—uh, I know. It’s just...It’s just I’m fine. You know? It’s—okay, uh, yeah…”

“Okay, Danny.” The therapist shifted her gaze. “Maddie? Would you like to communicate with us how you feel about Danny coming home next week?”

“Um.” Maddie sniffed, dotting her red-rimmed eyes with a tissue. “I’m very relieved. It’s been so long since Danny’s been home. So, so long. I just...I feel like my life’s been put on hold and I’m so relieved that he’s finally coming home. I’ve missed him so much.”

Danny squirmed in his seat, diverting his eyes away from his mom.

“But I’m also so worried. He’s only been here a few weeks and—oh, Danny, I’m so sorry—but I’m concerned he’s not ready to come home. He...you…”

“What’s that?” the therapist prompted.

Maddie crumpled the tissue in her fingers. “It’s about Danny’s incident yesterday. The one in class? It just makes me so worried about him going back to Casper High because...well…”

Nope. No. He was not getting into this right now.

Trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, Danny grounded out, “I know.”

The therapist quirked her brow at Danny. “Yeah? What’s going on, Danny?”

“Nothing.” Danny tightened his fists. “It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing, sweetie. You got very ill during class yesterday, which was very similar to when you got ill at Casper high. And honestly, it makes me very nervous about you coming home so soon,” Maddie said.

Danny felt his cheeks heat up. He crossed his arms and slumped down in his chair, looking anywhere but at the people in the room. He almost wanted to open his mouth and tell everyone off for forcing him to be here because he really didn’t want to deal with this right now and please for just one day couldn’t he not deal with his emotions? Just keep them trapped behind a locked door and incinerate the key?

Maddie seemed to take his silence as permission to continue. “It was my fault. I pushed him to go back to school too soon. I didn’t want to admit that...that anything like this happened to him. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I...I didn’t even stop to think about if Danny was going to be able t-to handle it all. It was—I was so selfish. I’m sorry.”

Maddie’s voice broke. She blew her nose, the sound echoing around the otherwise silent room.

“It wasn’t your fault, Mads. We all met with Lancer and the principal. We all agreed to have him attend school again when he came home from the hospital,” Jack said, rubbing Maddie’s shoulder.

The therapist pursed her lips. “Sometimes our brains refuse to fully accept certain situations because that makes them real to us. It doesn’t make you selfish or mean you’re a bad parent. It’s just our brain’s way of coping with a bad situation.”

“My brain’s coping caused Danny to get hurt,” Maddie said.

“Hmm, but it also led to him getting the help he needed, didn’t it? The anxiety attack yesterday in school wasn’t great, but compared to a few weeks ago, Danny was able to bounce back from it very quickly. He was a bit fatigued directly after, but by the afternoon, he was participating in group therapy sessions with the other teens like normal,” the therapist explained, gazing at Maddie with warm eyes.

“Still…” Maddie’s voice trailed off, the unspoken it’s my fault resonating around the room.

The therapist offered a smile. “Sometimes our decisions may have poor outcomes in the moment but in the long run may lead to the most success. And yes, the past few weeks have been extremely hard for the both of you as parents. No one wants to see their kid hurting. But Danny’s here , with a team of people who are here to support him and both of you. He’s safe and supported, and so now it’s time for you to allow yourself to accept what happened without beating yourself up over it. What happened at school was not your fault, Maddie. It was simply the result of a bad situation.”

Of course it wasn’t her fault. Danny knew this. Why couldn’t his mom?

If Danny hadn’t been so weak, he wouldn’t have had issues in school.

He wouldn’t have had to come here.

He could be home. In bed. Asleep. Not talking to anyone. With the lights out and curtains drawn.

But right now, that sounded too good to be true. And Danny knew deep down that those nice moments in life were not for him. He wasn’t allowed peace in his life. And he would never be allowed another peaceful moment ever again. The Guys in White ensured this by gifting him with a lifetime of medical issues and painkiller prescriptions.

Danny shifted, his chest twinging unhappily. A second clonazepam sounded like a dream right now…

Wait, what?

Focus, Danny.

Danny cued himself back in to the conversation. “...but you’re sending Danny back to school after the PHP program, aren’t you?”

Maddie shifted. “Yes, he’ll be going back to school. But not right away. We’ll give him some time to adjust, and when we do send him to school, it’ll be different this time. We know where we went wrong.”

“Can I ask what you’re planning for him?”

There was a slight pause before Maddie responded. “Well, we adjusted Danny’s IEP so he’ll be going to school for only half of the day to start, and he’ll only be studying the core school subjects. The learning specialists in the school’s learning center will be working directly with him, so his class size will be reduced to about five students and two teachers. All of Danny’s teachers are making modified lesson plans to send down to the learning center for him to complete, and they’ve all said they’re willing to come down during a free period and help him if he needs the extra help.”

The therapist nodded. “That sounds good. I think he’ll really benefit from the smaller class sizes. He seems to do well here in smaller group situations, wouldn’t you say, Danny?”

Danny shrugged, keeping his head down. This wasn’t the first time nor would it be the last time that adults talked about Danny right in front of him, like he was inept. And in some ways, he was inept. At least, that’s what he told himself.

Before the Guys in White, if his parents were making him uncomfortable he could jump straight into the conversation and snap at them. He could say something teenagery like, “Stop embarrassing me!” or “Can you lay off me for a second?”

Everything was different now. His brain didn’t react correctly anymore. Thinking took effort, talking took effort, listening took effort. Everything was exhausting. And a lot of the time, he simply didn’t have the energy to engage.

He was too fragile to go to regular school. He was officially a special-ed kid. Which, if he was being truthful, he was surprised he hadn’t been referred to the learning center long ago, when Phantom first started turning school into an anxiety-filled mess. He guessed he always had decent grades before then—courtesy of being the child of two cutting-edge scientist parents with four degrees and a PhD between them—but even then, a part of him was still bitter no one had done anything. Not a single one of his teachers requested he get sent down for testing or asked he receive additional help. The administration slapped the “lazy” label on him and handed out detention after detention, as if that would to teach him not to fail out of school.

Well, a nervous breakdown in the gym locker room and a diagnosis of mild brain damage certainly did the trick.

“There’s some other things too,” Maddie continued. Danny heard another tissue being ripped from the box. “He’ll get time-and-a-half to complete his tests, and he’ll do his test one-on-one with a teacher aide. And when he finally does start reintegrating into the classroom, he’ll be seated in the front of every class.”

“How long do you plan on keeping this education plan active for?” the therapist asked.

Jack spoke up. “At least until winter break. We’re going to reconvene at the end of the fall term and see where Danny’s at. If we think he’s ready to start going to some more classes, then we’ll start that process. And if not, then we’ll keep the half-day schedule only. No rush, right Danno?”

Danny shrugged again.

“This seems like a thorough plan. It’s very good that you two were able to reflect about the deficiencies with the first plan and adjust accordingly. I know this time has been tough, but please don’t forget to celebrate the small victories that have happened, like gathering this IEP in such a short amount of time.” The therapist turned to Danny. “What do you think about all this, Danny? This is your education, and it’s important that you have a say in what you want your high school experience to be.”

Danny unraveled his arms, dropping them to his sides. He pressed a finger into his thigh, as if he hadn’t just checked three hours ago whether or not his paraplegia had miraculously been cured, but he felt nothing.

“Danny?” the therapist prompted, her voice a bit softer.

“Um...it’s fine.”

“Did you have any questions or concerns about your IEP? Anything you wanted to ask?”

“Uh…” Danny played with the hem of his hoodie. It was clear that the therapist wasn’t going to let him off easily. A few weeks ago, they might have let him sit there silently during family therapy hour, but now Danny was stable. He had to participate.

He breathed out and tried again. “Will I be going to homeroom? With Sam and Tucker?”

“Yes,” Maddie answered. “Lancer actually suggested we leave that as is.”

Alarm bells were going off in Danny’s head. “Really? I bet...I bet he just wanted to keep a—an eye on me. In homeroom. Make sure I even...I actually showed up to school.”

“Now don’t say that,” Jack said. His voice was uncharacteristically thoughtful. “I think part of it’s that he wanted to make sure you’re doing okay, but another huge piece that he brought up is he wanted to give you time to see Sam and Tucker since they won’t be in learning center with you. Between school, PT, and outpatient, you’re going to be pretty busy. I think he just wanted to make sure you get a chance to see your friends too. Danno, I know you and Mr. Lancer haven’t always understood each other, but believe me when I say that he’s really rooting for you. He’s been a huge help through all this.”

Danny rolled his eyes and crossed his arms again, not caring about whatever attitude he was showing.

“He’s your teacher advocate for your IEP plan, you know,” Maddie added in.

“I know, Mom.”

The therapist gave no reaction to Danny’s moody display. Danny wondered if, deep down, everyone in the room was almost glad to see this bit of adolescent defiance leaking out of Danny. It had been too long since he was able to show attitude without fear of being hurt. Not that he behaved like the government wanted him to while he was locked up—God no, his defiance there led him to a wheelchair.

But this...this was normal. Well, it was as close to normal as he could get at the moment.

“There’s also the manner of planning out his outpatient schedule. Danny will be attending the a PHP program, correct?” the therapist asked.

Maddie nodded. “Yes, that is correct.”

“Good. I’ll still be seeing him for his individual sessions three times a week starting next week. And he’ll be in the PHP program for about six hours per day, five days per week. Based on our sessions, the PHP program sessions, and how his time at home goes, that number will slowly go down as time goes on.”

“How long will he be going to the PHP program before we can start adjusting the schedule down, would you say?” Maddie asked.

The therapist pressed her thin lips together and shrugged. “It really differs person to person. Everyone’s different, and everyone responds differently to the group therapies in outpatient.”

Danny’s eyes flickered over to Maddie, searching for her reaction. Did she think he wasn’t capable? That he was doomed to never graduate from outpatient? But her face betrayed nothing. She was blank, controlled.

“Is there anything we can do? As parents? I want this transition to be as smooth as possible,” Maddie said.

“The family unit is the most critical part of this process,” the therapist said. She paused, the corners of her lips turning upward. “Maddie, Jack, you both are very capable and empathetic people. As his therapist, I have nothing but good faith in the both of you that Danny will be supported when he returns home on Monday.”

Danny glanced over to his wheelchair next to the door. The object of his failure was suddenly melodic in its call to him to sit down and escape whatever the hell this was. Family therapy was always his least favorite time of the week. And the torture of opening up to his family seemed to get worse each session as his therapist prodded new memories and emotions Danny would rather keep shut.

“But is there anything specifically I can do? Please, I just want to help my son.”

“Just being there for him, as you have been since he started this program, is all we need in order to continue the healing process.”

“Mads,” Jack said, rubbing Maddie’s shoulder. “We got this. We all do. Right, Danny?”

Danny grunted, his eyes fixed on his lap once again. This was awful. This was so awful.

He wouldn’t be in this position if he hadn’t gotten himself revealed on television.

Which wouldn’t have happened if he had just dodged that fucking attack.

Seriously, how hard was it to dodge an ecto-weapon? The noise they made as they let out a blast was enough of a warning that it was time to move.

This was his fault. This was all his fault.

Now his parents had to be in family therapy with him. And they thought this was their fault. When really, no, it was Danny’s fault. But they couldn’t see that, could they? They thought it was their fault. They were blaming themselves and beating themselves up. But it wasn’t their fault. It was his.

Because he didn’t dodge Skulker’s attack—

It was all his fault.

—even though he could hear it coming—

He was lucky the government didn’t kill him.

—why didn’t he just dodge—

It was his fault.

— he let himself be hit—

His fault.

—even if it was a new weapon, he should have seen it coming—

Fuck.

---

“So, you’re leaving then.” A quiet voice cut into Danny’s thoughts. Danny swiveled his head around to see the Hispanic boy, who stood over his chair with slouched shoulders and an unreadable expression.

“Yeah,” Danny said.

“When do your parents get here?”

“Any minute,” Danny answered quietly, glancing at the overhead clock. It was technically three minutes past when they said they’d be arriving, but his parents were known for being either extremely early or extremely late to any function whatsoever. There was no in-between with them.

“They seem nice.” At Danny’s odd look, the boy added, “You know, from what I’ve seen on TV.”

“Oh,” Danny said. He still forgot his family was famous now. Danny hadn’t seen any of their TV appearances yet, but apparently they’d already retracted many of their theories, slamming the world with hard evidence along the way. All to get Danny home.

All for him.

“They’re great,” Danny mused. “Weird, but great.”

“Yeah…”

Danny’s eyes flickered back over to to the boy. His arms were pressed into his stomach, one hand nervously scratching the other. Danny squinted up at the boy his brain slowly figuring out how he should respond. Finally, he blurted out, “What?”

“Huh?”

“You look like...I dunno.” Danny waved a hand at him. “Something’s up.”

“Oh, I just…” The brunette pulled out a chair and sat down next to Danny. He took a deep breath and tried again. “Do you think we’ll be friends after you leave? I mean, you’re leaving now, and I’m leaving next week. Do you think we’ll still talk after I get out?”

Danny averted his gaze. “Sure.”

“Okay. That’s good. I just—I mean, I know you don’t think of yourself like this. But you’re like a celebrity and all. And I’m just some loser from—”

“You’re not a loser.” Danny glared at the table.

“Yeah but I’m not, you know...”

Danny’s glare snapped up at the boy. “You’re not what? A half-ghost?”

“No! I wasn’t going to say that!”

“A science experiment?”

“No, not even!” The teen ran his fingers through his hair, frustration clearly painted on his round face.

“Then what? ”

“You’re just…” The teen shifted, bringing elbows off the table and onto his lap. “You know. You’re so cool. You’ve saved so many people and helped so many people out. You’re like the real life version of DnD, you know? And I get that you’re here and I’m not saying that being you has been easy. Because...it hasn’t. Obviously. But you have the whole world that cares about you. So many people fought for you, and you have so many people back home waiting for you. Your friends and family. All your classmates. And I just...I have no one.”

“Oh,” Danny said, staring up at the boy who refused to look back at him. “What do you mean, no one?”

“You know...I don’t have friends. At my high school. I’m not like you. I’m not part of the cool group or anything. Kids don’t talk to me, and when they do, it’s…” his voice trailed off as his eyes shifted up to the ceiling.

‘Cool .’

Huh.

Danny Fenton had been called a lot of things—loser, freak, nerd—but cool? That was one word he’d never been called before. And Danny Phantom hadn’t heard it in a while either. In fact, Danny couldn’t remember the last time anyone had called him, Fenton or Phantom, cool. At least, he hadn’t heard it since last spring. When Dash and Paulina ruled the halls, talking about how cool Phantom was, blissfully unaware that he was the same loser they just elbowed into a locker. And Danny…

Danny went about his day as usual. Ignorant as to what was to come.

“I’m not cool,” Danny found himself saying. “Before everything came out, I wasn’t...people didn’t like me very much. The other kids at school.”

The teen shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. You don’t get it because you have friends. Not being the most popular in your class isn’t the same as—”

Before Danny could stop himself, all his dirty secrets were spilling from his mouth like a waterfall. “Dash—the quarterback—he locked me...locked me in those tall thin lockers. And he and his friends would lean against the door so I-I couldn’t get out. They’d laugh. And then they’d...they’d let me out. Which was almost worse. Because...because it was me versus...all of them.”

“Oh,” the teen said, his eyes as wide as saucers. And for a moment, Danny almost felt embarrassed that after the teen had come to him with his own insecurities about school, Danny had responded selfishly.

But he didn’t feel embarrassed. He didn’t feel bad about stealing the spotlight once again for his own problems, because goddamnit this was one of the only boys who gave Danny any semblance of friendship at inpatient, and Danny didn’t want to keep up the “perfect ghost hero” façade with him any longer. If the public wanted to think his human form was an innocent angel? Fine. So be it. But this teen? Who pushed his wheelchair down the hallway when Danny’s chest had a fit? Who sat with Danny during mealtimes and didn’t say a word at the various heavy drugs he was given each morning and evening? Who colored with Danny and kept the conversation alive despite his stuttering mess?

No, this boy deserved better. He deserved the truth.

Danny exhaled. “Yeah. But they didn’t...something changed. When I went to school now. They didn’t...they didn’t...I guess it was the wheelchair…”

“Maybe they felt guilty.”

“Maybe…”

“Mine won’t be so nice when I get back to school.” The teen twisted the sleeves of his hoodie. “Oh god, and if they ever found out where I’ve been...that would be the end of me.”

“Tonsil surgery, remember?”

The boy gave a weak smile. “Yeah. Just don’t rat on me when we get out, okay?”

“Sure.”

It’s not like he could rat the boy out even if he wanted to. Danny had no idea what his name was, and at this point, it would be too embarrassing to ask.

As if he could read Danny’s mind, the teen reached over the table and grabbed a loose piece of paper and a marker from the art bucket. He scribbled something down on the paper and all but shoved it onto Danny’s lap. ‘Miguel Cantos 817-431-XXXX’

Danny must have looked lost because the boy’s expression immediately turned sheepish as he ducked his head down and muttered, “My cell. In case you wanna stay in touch after we get out.”

Miguel Cantos. Danny repeated the name in his head. His eyes flickered back up to the small boy sitting in front of him, who was currently curling in on himself. The teen—Miguel—ran a hand through his short hair, his round cheeks turning red at Danny’s continuous staring.

“Thanks,” Danny said, glancing back down at the paper. Miguel Cantos. He couldn’t forget that name.

“Can I ask you something?” the—Miguel said.

“Sure.”

“You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to. But I was just curious.”

“Go ahead.”

“Okay.” Miguel nodded, hesitating. His fingers fidgeted until they landed on the hem of his long-sleeved shirt. Tan fingers pulled and stretched the material, twisting it till the cloth hid his thumb from view. “Are you the only one? Or are there more people like you?”

“Oh, uh…” Danny leaned back in his chair.

Shit.

Well, there went any semblance of not lying to this kid.

Technically, minus Vlad, he was the only person like this. And even then, Vlad was ever so slightly different from Danny. Not to mention he was a total creep who had completely given in to his sick obsession with Maddie and seemed to think that killing Jack and kidnapping Danny on multiple occasions was the only way to win both Maddie and Danny’s affections as his pseudo son or whatever twisted thoughts that plagued his head.

But even then, even after everything Vlad had done, he still couldn’t rat him out as being a halfa. Maybe it was his obsession talking, maybe it was the constant need to have this one-up on Vlad, but at the end of it all, being a halfa was something too personal, too private. Vlad and Danny alike had taken their secret and guarded it within an inch of their lives again and again. Danny was the one unlucky enough to have been outed on national television, not Vlad. He fucked up, and he suffered the consequences tenfold.

Danny wouldn’t wish what happened to him on anyone, not even Vlad.

“Yeah, I’m the only halfa.”

“Oh, wow. Do you and your family know why?”

“They have their theories,” Danny said, choosing his words carefully. Most of his parents research was confidential, and he and his parents hadn’t really been able to sit down and talk about all the ghost-stuff yet.

There was also the matter of Danny not exactly being too keen on having his physiology on display to the public like he was a rare zoo animal. Nope, no thank you.

“They don’t know for certain...why I survived the accident…it—it’s speculation.”

“Oh. That’s cool then,” Miguel said.

“Danny,” a gentle voice came from behind him.

Danny swiveled around to see one of the nursing assistants approaching the pair, a warm smile on her face. “Your parents are here.”

“Thanks,” Danny said. He turned back to Miguel. “Well…”

Miguel offered him a grin.

It looked forced.

“This is it. You’re off,” he said.

“Yeah.” Danny exhaled, trying to dissipate the knots of anxiety that decided to spring into existence. “Yeah. This is it.”

“I’ll come with you to get your bag,” the nursing assistant said. She stepped to the side, raising her arm in the universal “after you” motion.

“Okay.” Danny’s voice sounded distant to his own ears.

“Hey.” Miguel slowly lifted his hand, curling it into a loose fist. His face relaxed, and a real grin replaced the fake one from before. “It’s been good getting to know you, Danny. I never expected to meet you, and I never thought you would ever give me the time of day if we did happen to cross paths. You’re awesome, dude. Keep in touch.”

Danny raised his own fist in kind, lightly tapping the tan skin with his pale knuckles. He felt the corners of his lips twitch up involuntarily. This time, the assurance along with a “you too” didn’t seem so forced either.

He dropped his arms to his side, undid the breaks on his wheelchair, and pivoted away from Miguel. A final goodbye brushed against Danny’s eardrums, but he didn’t offer one in response. The uncertainty of whether he would ever talk to Miguel again had begun collecting in the corner of his mind. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak to the brunette again, it was just…

What if them staying in contact compromised Miguel’s anonymity as a suicide patient? What if the other kids in his school found out? Everyone must have known where Danny ended up. This hospital was the only one around that offered an adolescent program. It wouldn’t be too hard to connect the dots between Danny’s public meltdown and subsequent hospitalization and Miguel’s “tonsil surgery” absence.

It was just too risky. He couldn’t risk outing Miguel like that. Not after how nice the boy had been to him since he arrived.

That was it, right? That’s why he felt so conflicted about this?

“Alright, let’s do this,” the nursing assistant said, dragging Danny from his anxiety-filled brain.

He paused, tilting his head up to be met with the plain door to his dorm room. The nursing assistant gently pushed the door back to reveal a spotless white and blue accented bedroom. His bed was made, sheets pulled up under the pillows like his mother had taught him all those years ago. Decorating his bed was his duffle bag, which was packed and zipped up.

He put his hands on the metal rims of his wheels and readied himself to push forward toward the duffle bag. But, before he could move, the nursing assistant had already made her way across the room.

“Don’t worry, Danny. I got it,” she said, grabbing the duffle and slinging a black strap across her shoulder. She reached down for the walker. “You just follow me out, okay?”

He relaxed, allowing his eyes to wander around the room one last time. The white walls and ceiling didn’t bother him anymore, not like they did when he first arrived to inpatient. Sure, the dorm room was mostly white, but it seemed much brighter than the white in the government compound. The government’s walls were dim and maddening. Their white pressed down on Danny’s lungs, leering at him with hysteria.

You’ll never escape, the whiteness seemed to say. This is your life now. You deserve it, freak.

The white in the hospital was like gleaming pages on a fresh sheet of computer paper. It was blank, yet eager to be filled with new sketches and splashes of color. The room alluded a hopeful sense of safety that Danny desperately craved.

“Well, you ready?” the nursing assistant asked.

“Yeah,” Danny said. He was ready. Maybe he wasn’t completely fixed yet—and if he was honest, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be—but he was ready to be out of here. He hadn’t seen Sam and Tucker in weeks, and they hadn’t truly hung out since before he was revealed. Sure, they visited him when he was in the main hospital and when he came home for that short stint before being checked into inpatient, but he wasn’t exactly present for those encounters.

He made a mental note to treat Sam and Tucker to the Nasty Burger when he got back. For everything he put them through. Whenever his bank account would allow for it, at least.

Oh yeah, he was definitely ready to be out of here.

He turned to the nursing assistant and offered her a lopsided grin, ““Yeah. No offense, but these—but these beds suck.”

The nursing assistant snorted. “They don’t look too comfortable. I’m just glad I never had to sleep in them.”

“Do yourself a—a favor and...don’t get checked in then. You won’t have to.”

“I’ll try my best.” She undid the clasps on the walker and folded it flat. “Besides, I think I’m a little too old to hang with you kids.”

“Aw, come on. You’re what, twenty?”

She rolled her eyes. “A little older than that. Nice try though. Come on, let’s not keep your parents waiting. We still have to sign you out and everything.”

They exited the boys’ psychiatric unit, the double doors hissing closed for the last time. She led him down an unfamiliar path to the lobby of the building, one Danny couldn’t remember going on when he was admitted the month before. Thinking back, Danny didn’t remember much from the first day he was admitted.

He must have been really out of it.

Seeing his parents for the first time outside of the double doors was awkward, neither party knowing exactly what to say to each other. Maddie kept turning from the front desk to give him small, watery smiles that left him entirely unsure how to reciprocate. After the fifth watery glance in his direction, he made it a point to stare down at the floor, the ceiling, the seams of his hoodie, anywhere but the direction of his parents.

Jack was a different story. He was quiet, focused on getting all the paperwork filled out accurately. This attention to detail was somewhat unnerving for Danny, who was used to him being the distracted parent. But, thinking back over the past few weeks, Jack’s change had been the most apparent out of his parents and sister. The goofy, immature man was much more stoic than before. It was as if Jack had left town and his lawyer twin brother replaced him.

Danny waited silently off to the side until the final papers were signed, signaling the beginning of his freedom. Well, partial freedom. He would be back here tomorrow for outpatient. But from this day forward he could sleep in his own bed, eat his mother’s baked goods, and sit on the roof and look at the constellations with Jazz whenever he wanted.

He was finally free.

The sunlight hitting his face almost didn’t seem real. It wasn’t like the sticky heat he was met with when he was dumped like a UPS package on the Fenton Works doorstep by the Guys in White after his...residency with the government. Which was a suppressed memory that could stay suppressed, Fenturd.

He pressed a hand to his forehead. He hadn’t thought about that memory yet, that moment when the blinding sunlight and summer heat met his body for the first time since he had been taken away.

All he remembered from that day was the sound of the door opening and his eyes immediately snapping shut at the bright light that met his dilated pupils. A rough hand grabbed his arm—the broken one that couldn’t heal thanks to the ecto-suppressants—and yanked him out of the car. His torso hit the sidewalk and he screamed as the fresh wounds on his chest burned in pain. He writhed, desperate to get off his stomach, only for his back to cry out in misery.

And then he woke up in the hospital. Surrounded by fresh linens and medical professionals working to heal him.

The concerned tone of Jack cut into Danny’s thoughts. “Danno? You okay?”

Danny’s eyes snapped back into focus. Shit, he was falling behind his parents. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You need help?” his mother asked.

“No, I’m good. Promise.” Danny gave his mother what he hoped was a reassuring smile. It wasn’t, if his mother’s persistent worried look was anything to go by. He rolled his eyes and put more force than necessary into the next push on his wheelchair, speeding past his parents.

Danny reached the start of the parking lot and glanced around, searching for the Fenton Assault Vehicle. It was never hard to spot, with it standing several feet higher than a normal car and plastered with the neon green Fenton Works logo. But much to Danny’s surprise, he couldn’t spot it anywhere.

“Where’d you park?”

“Right up front,” Maddie said.

“Huh? Oh…” Danny’s eyes latched onto Jazz’s small red car parked in the first handicapped parking spot. He swallowed thickly, his stomach twisting painfully. “Oh.”

“No ghost assault vehicle today,” Jack said from behind Danny. He felt a heavy hand hit his shoulder. “Your mother didn’t think the hospital would like it too much if we showed up with a van full of weapons. So we borrowed Jazz’s car for the day.”

“Oh. When did you…?” Danny nodded towards the handicapped sign in front of the spot.

“Um, a few weeks ago,” Maddie said, her voice tight.

“We know it’s not ideal, but it’s practical. And hey, someday you might not need it if you work hard enough in PT, right?” Jack asked.

“Right.”

“Then for now, this is just the way it is, son.” Jack’s hand squeezed Danny’s shoulder before letting go. “Now, enough chit-chat. Let’s go home.”

“Yeah...home.”

---

HUGE shoutout to imekitty for not only beta-ing this chapter (which was a mess that required multiple days of her working her editing magic) but also for just helping me along the way with this chapter and giving me lots of encouragement and motivation. She's a gem and an amazing writer so if you want some great angsty fics I highly suggest you go read her stuff.

Also big ups to tumblr user dannyphandump for giving one last read through on this chapter and helping with the last-minute detail edits/things to think about for future chapters. They were super helpful!

Thanks for reading, and for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I can't wait to hear your thoughts and predictions about the next chapter now that he's home!

<previous chapter / next chapter>

#danny phantom #everything was white #fanfiction #phicc #my writing #chapter 5 #part 5

[gabisartdump]

For my birthday, my little sis’ said she would make a digital pic for me! 

Bottom right is what i started planning it out with, and it morphed into what it is now! It was a mashup of lots of my fav characters. Still a WIP, but she’s the best!

See OC description below the cut!

Origin: This guy’s name is Criss, as in Criss-Cross. He’s technically a Ben 10 alien, but forms by pulling the essence/soul of various characters from other universes. Probably was originally a result of some universe-ending problem that was Ben’s fault to begin with (dimensional surge?). They’re pretty stable now.

Looks/Pieces: Main body is Genos’ machine body (OPM). He has Astro’s red boot-feet so he can actually fly (Astro Boy). Hair is a combo of Killua's and Deku’s, plus Edward’s braid (HxH, bnha, FMA). Right eye is Sebastian’s red demon eye; left eye is Rin’s blue one (Black Butler, Blue Exorcist). He’s wearing Danny’s white/red shirt with the wings of freedom and Eren’s jacket (DP, AoT). Those are Deku’s pants and belt. Hard to see are Ladybug’s and Chat’s miraculous ring and earrings (Miraculous Ladybug). He also has Rex’s goggles (Generator Rex). Obviously, Ben’s Omnitrix is on his wrist (Ben 10).

(not pictured) Mach 5 car with Voltron symbol. It acts kind of like a Voltron lion/Bumblebee fusion plus gadgets. This car is actually an overlay of Kevin’s car. The first time Criss waves his hand over Kev’s car and wills it into being, Kevin is horrified.

(not pictured) inside the Miraculous is a Kwami mixture of yin/yang.

Personality: He’s a flirtatious dork with a strong sense of justice and a knack for being a jerk sometimes. He can be REALLY scary when he wants/needs to be (’cause of Sebastian, Killua, and Eren) but it’s rare. He’s impulsive most of the time but is a thorough thinker under pressure. He’s got a bit of MPD because there are literally 13 people inside of his head. They all speak out of the same mouth, so he sounds insane 90% of the time, but they sync together in stressful situations. Criss tends to overthink in stressful situations, so Gwen and Kevin are there to ground him.

*Puns and Snark are a given with this bunch*

Has perks like: KILLING INTENT via Killua and RIGHTEOUS ANGER via Eren. Plus: an extra bonus of SADISM courtesy of Sebastian

Criss is a complete idiot most of the time, but in the middle of battle, he’ll just start talking about theoretical physics and trigonometry. Gwen doesn’t really know how to deal with him. (2)

They’ve got an. odd. collection of knowledge.

“How are we supposed to know what human beings are made of?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

He’s got like, a surprising amount of common sense considering all of the doofuses that make him up. Marinette helps w/that a lot.

Extra Perk: He is the ULTIMATE negotiator.

Adrien knows how to work the business man/fashion scene. The boy has got a walk.

Sebastian is awesome at the intimidation factor, but Deku makes him seem really trustworthy. 

Ben, Rex, and Rin keep him low key and #relatable.

Marinette is the only one of them who has any kind of emotional maturity. She good at reading people too. The only reason any of this works. Keeps them on task for almost everything.

Merging: Criss is a mesh of essences and memories, but all inside are aware of what is going on. When in separated by ‘verses, they have almost an empathic/telepathic link where they can sometimes send pulses/images down the link. Every once in a while, one of them can ‘pull’ on the essence of someone else to help them. However:

In order to fully merge, all of them of must agree, but it’s usually not a big deal; it’s pieces of the characters’ souls that are transferred, not their bodies. It doesn’t really affect what they are doing atm unless it’s super complicated.

Weaknesses:

The Ultimate Klutz, unfortunately. Sorry Mari. Very ADHD and seems to have a pretty severe MPD, for obvious reasons. Kind of off-putting as a person. Extremely draining form when in combat, Ben will sleep for days afterwards.

Powers: 

Obviously, Criss has got Super-strength from multiple people and exceptional sneak ability and balance (most of the time).

Danny: 

 - ectoplasm blast

 - can briefly become intangible but not invisible

“Why are you all so friggin’ dense???”

 - can fly a space ship

“Why are you looking at me? I don’t know how to fly an Earth space shuttle!”

“I do!”

“YOU DO?!”

“How?!?”

“Simulations.”

“...We’re all going to die.”

Rex: 

 - able to transform legs into a bike

 - can talk to machines

Astro: 

 - legs can fly

Ladybug:

 - creation power helps with [inventory] power from the Gamer 

 - Because Criss has both the earring and the ring, he is technically a god. (1)

 - Marinette’s stubbornness overrules all, and she can take control of Criss completely when they’re being really annoying. Sebastian occasionally assists. The two of them have the ability to literally shove everyone back to their home dimension, leaving behind an intimidating, girly version of Ben with red eyes. Ben’s still there but he’s been silenced by fear.

Edward:

 - can do alchemy 

“Wait, we can do magic?”

“No.”

Rin:

- He can COOK! It’s actually really good, and Gwen is pretty tempted to keep him as Criss.

Kevin: “Since when can you cook Ben?”

Criss: “I am a man of many talents.”

Also Criss, immediately after: “They’re my talents, Kitchen Failure.”

- Demon fire

- can perceive/talk to demons

Chat:

- Cataclysm

- The unmatched ability to perch on top of/in lockers, waiting to scare anyone with great relish.

HILARITY to be found in this ‘verse:

a. Someone asks his opinion on something and he literally just freezes from indecisiveness.

b. He’s like half a foot taller than Kevin, and Kevin is pissed.

Kevin thinks Criss is way cooler than Ben tho’ so it’s cool.

c. On one instance, one of the guys has been forced/dared into wearing something hideously embarrassing in his home ‘verse. Cue him being horrified as he’s pulled into Criss in a time of crisis, thinking it will transfer with him. Turns out that their shared body is more made up of their mental images than anything.

       “Why’d you seem so worried when you showed up?”

       *sends mental image*

       *muffled snickers and exclamations and an overall sigh of relief*

d. (1) It’s a thing with him, like his war cry.

    “I have the power of God and anime on my side” - said in the midst of battle

Gwen and Kevin. Need It To Stop.

    “You dare defy your God?!?”

    “Shut up Ben.”

    “It’s Criss!”

Sebastian hates it. Therefore, when ever Criss yells it, he rolls his eyes at himself. It’s a little bit hilarious.

e. A lot of them are SUPER excited at the idea of aliens. Some; not so much.

      “A-Aliens?!”

      “I thought they were EVOs, but clearly they’re from outer space.”

      “Cool!”

      “Eh, I’ve dealt with worse.”

f. Sporadic cursing via Edward. and fake cursing via Danny

      “You frigging fruit loop!”

      “What?”

g. Randomly, one of them will just give a full-body shiver and say “Oh, this is disgusting.”

h. (2) Criss actually has a modicum of common sense, so Kevin is really impressed at first.

      “Wow, it’s almost like you’re a real, rounded person!”

      *Eren screams*

      “Never mind.”

I. They get a lot of awkward questions.

Some Behind-the-times Surfer Dude: “So, like, are you a boy or a girl?”

*silence*

Criss: “I am a GOD!”

Kevin, absolutely done: “SHUT UP”

               .   .   .

Gwen, later: “He’s technically right, you know.”

Kevin, nearly crying: “Yeah, but denial is the only thing keeping me going at this point.”

J. Sometimes, Criss gets SUPER DUPER excited, for various reasons. 

Deku, about other heroes/aliens,

Adrien, about anime,

Sebastian, about cats,

etc.

It’s slightly adorable, slightly disturbing.

K. Criss randomly starts talking about fashion, mostly due to Marinette, and shows surprising prowess

    Gwen, vaguely disturbed: “Um, have you seen your outfit?”

    Criss: “Yes and I hate it.”

L. Criss can and will have conversations/arguments with himself out loud for hours on end. They can be about anything. Literally. Anything.

@tharkflark1

#ben 10 #fma #edward elric #killua #hxh #hunter x hunter #danny phantom #eren #attack on titan #boku no hero #deku #astro boy #opm #one punch man #genos #generator rex #black butler #blue exorcist #rin okumura #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #ladybug #the gamer #mach v #mach 5 #speed racer #voltron #Rory'sArt #digital art #OC

[ghoultyrant]

Alt-power Taylor patterns

Have some random ‘rules’ (read: recurring, but not absolute, patterns) of how alt-power Taylors get written in Worm fanfic.

Rule#1: Thou Shalt Be Power

Alt-power Taylors are almost always more obviously powerful than canon Taylor. This isn’t exactly a feat in and of itself given what canon Taylor’s power is, but alt-power Taylor’s generally don’t simply settle for picking an interesting power that happens to be more powerful than canon Taylor’s and exploring that.

No, they also generally have...

Rule#2: The Judge Rules Favorably

Say you’ve got an alt-power that’s pretty much literally ‘Taylor’s powerset is X from Y other setting’. You know, like a lot of these fanfics go with.

Generally, any such power set is going to have edge cases and murky elements, if only in the context of how to translate it into a parahuman ability... and alt-power stories have a habit of picking whatever interpretation is most favorable to Taylor.

This is actually even more striking when it’s a ‘shardswap’, where Taylor has a canon cape’s power and the fanfic invariably chooses to rule edge cases favorably to Taylor... but the exact same power on the actual canon cape in some other fanfic by the exact same author gets ruled in a more limited manner. This kind of thing makes it pretty obvious the decision-making process wasn’t ‘it makes sense to this author for this power to operate this way’, but rather was ‘it’s an edge case I can rule favorably to Taylor! I’m doing that!’

These two points lead into...

Rule #3: Shock And Awe

Whatever Taylor’s power is, people are impressed by it. This is true even if they barely know anything about it -she’ll give a description that could mean just about anything, and they’ll nod along and say ‘that sounds broken’ or whatever. Villains treat her with respect, even if she hasn’t done anything yet. The PRT is willing to bend rules to get her on their side because she’s ‘so powerful’. Tattletale flees in terror of her because her canon ability to read the script means she knows the author intends Taylor to be broken, even if her power has no basis to feed her anything alarming enough to justify instantly fleeing.

Often, people being impressed by Taylor’s power will take up several chapters of the story, in place of any kind of plot advancement. It’s that important to the author.

Nonetheless...

Rule #4: Titanic Whale, Itty-Bitty-Pond

No matter how powerful Taylor’s powers get emphasized as being, this just gets used to let Taylor bully everyone around her into doing what she wants. She isn’t forced onto the world stage by the sheer scale of her powers. She doesn’t get targeted for assassination by villains when she single-handedly steamrolls the entirety of Empire Eighty-Eight. No matter how much she bullies the local PRT, the Triumvirate won’t show up to convey the message that such behavior is Not Cool And We Do Have The Ability To Make You Stop.

Instead of being treated as a big fish in a small pond, her advantages over the locals just means she can get away with whatever.

Rule#5: Laser-Focused Karmic Revenge

Events will conspire to ensure that Taylor learns that Sophia is Shadow Stalker, promptly lets the PRT know that a Ward has participated in a cruel campaign of bullying, and they instantly side with her on little or no actual evidence and the hammer of justice comes down on Shadow Stalker in no time flat.

Curiously, Emma and Madison are rarely targeted by fanfic in an equivalent manner, even though Emma’s participation is an intensely personal betrayal and Madison’s motive seems to be an extremely shallow drive for popularity. It’s not like they’re particularly popular targets for reconciliation, either.

This does lead to the somewhat amusing point that where in canon Taylor gives Emma a giant speech about how unimportant Emma is to her that makes it blatantly obvious how massively important Emma is to her, fanfic Taylor usually actually has essentially moved on from the Emma end of things, pretty much completely forgetting she even exists once the Sophia part is handled.

Rule#6: Choo-Choo

No matter how divergent Taylor’s powers are, no matter how different her own behavior is from canon, no matter how many ripple effects are applied... Taylor will still generally interrupt Lung’s attack on the Undersiders, still end up on vaguely friendly terms with Tattletale (But usually not any of the other Undersiders), and still end up meeting Armsmaster in a manner vaguely equivalent to canon for the exclusive purpose of this alt-power Taylor getting to blatantly sidestep the canon situation that came about from canon Taylor’s interactions with Armsmaster. (ie the alt-power Taylor doesn’t let him take the credit for taking down Lung, or whatever, and often explicitly calls him out on his glory-hog nature with no consequences)

Less consistent, though still typical, is for the Undersiders to attack the bank and for Panacea to be there, even though Coil’s canon goal is a distraction, with the bank itself a means to an end. The lack of Skitter being involved in the planning process generally inexplicably results in an apparently-identical plan from the Undersiders, regardless of whether they have no replacement member or very different replacement members.

I imagine I’d have more examples of railroading stations of canon into the fanfic if it weren’t for the fact that alt-power Taylors have a habit of sputtering out before they can get much farther than this. Most of them don’t even make it to Bakuda!

Rule#7: Crunching The People Numbers

A curiously recurring trend with alt-power Taylors is for them to fundamentally approach human interaction in a deliberate, calculating manner. Alt-power Taylor is nice to people in an attempt to curry favor. She decides to share details of her powers that are good PR, and withhold details she suspects will cause the PRT to put additional limitations on her. (Even if the limitations she’s imagining are completely reasonable) She befriends people not because she finds them relatable, but because she finds them useful. She avoids making enemies with people because they’re important or powerful. (Exception: it’s not unusual for her to make enemies with Armsmaster... in which case events generally conspire to make it irrelevant because he gets his ‘just desserts’)

She also will routinely lie as convenient, distort the truth as convenient, and otherwise engage in deception because it’s expedient... and default to getting away with it. People usually won’t even find out, and when they do find out alt-power Taylor will generally provide an excuse -one that is not consistent with the internal narration she had when making the original decision to deceive, hence excuse- for why she did so, and this will be accepted as reasonable and people will go right on trusting her even though she lied to them.

This is particularly disconcerting given how often it gets combined with...

Rule#8: Love Is Life

Canon Taylor had a very poor relationship with her father. She couldn’t find it in herself to let him know about her powers. She couldn’t find it in herself to let him properly know about the ongoing bullying. She never revealed that Emma had stopped being a friend and was in fact heading the charge of bullying her. On his end, he outright tries locking her in when he’s trying to be nice and understanding, as perhaps his most blatantly dubious decision.

Fanfic Taylor is, quite inexplicably, often quick to reveal her powers to Danny -even, arguably especially when her powers are such she actually has good reason to be uncomfortable sharing with him- and in turn Danny is generally confused but supportive and kind. She reveals all kinds of worrying details about her powers, to which he endlessly tells her that she’ll always be his little girl and he loves her and is proud of her no matter what. He even goes to bat for her at the PRT quite frequently.

Somewhat alarmingly, while fanfic Taylor often feels affection for fanfic Danny, the relationship seems to be fundamentally one-way: Danny does all the giving, and Taylor does all the taking. There may or may not be sentences that imply Taylor is eg using her newfound cash to shore up their own iffy income stream, but generally speaking no actual evidence of such manifests: the rotting step from canon won’t get replaced using Taylor’s cash. She won’t make a grocery trip to fill the pantry using her Ward/bounty/whatever funding.

Nor is she likely to really go to bat for him over the Union’s issues. It’s not unusual for her to rail at other people in the story over their failure to somehow ‘fix’ the city, but it’s much rarer for her to do anything concrete to help.

To be entirely fair, these fanfics usually treat the whole thing as substantially improving Danny’s own psychological health, but it’s generally unclear whether that’s really the intent (ie that Danny actually feels better as a result of his relationship improving with his daughter and so on) or if the fanfic is essentially just ignoring Danny’s canon issues and the appearance of improvement is due to audience assumptions rather than authorial intent.

Rule#9: Fanon Piggot Is Not Canon Piggot

I mostly only really see three versions of Piggot in fanfic:

A: Miss Piggy.

Piggot as the canon wards seem to see her: an unreasonable taskmaster who makes cruel and bad decisions for no particular reason, with the circumstances of the city failing to really justify this behavior. (In the story’s mind, anyway)

Inexplicably, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a single fanfic using this version try to have her replaced with someone less reprehensible, even when it’s paired up with ‘karmic revenge’ on Armsmaster.

B: Mama Emily.

Alarmingly often, Piggot is turned into an endlessly supportive mother-figure for Taylor who is also weirdly understanding and supportive of the Wards in general. (With the exception of Shadow Stalker, who she almost always comes down on like a ton of bricks) We’ll pretty much never see a sign of the women who, in canon, was perfectly happy to basically sneer at the Undersiders over the possibility that a bombing run on Crawler might catch them too.

Even aside how out-of-character it is, one often ends up wondering where Emily even finds the time to do her actual job in between all her long personal talks with the Wards.

C: Piggot the Bigot.

Surprisingly, it’s actually fairly rare for Piggot’s canon issues with parahumans to be brought out, made explicit, and used as a basis for villain-izing Piggot. Nonetheless, it’s not at all unusual for Piggot to end up behaving as if she has a grudge with Taylor (And anyone else who ends up a secondary main character), an implacable enemy who can be counted on to get in the way at all times, to the point that Taylor is completely justified in ignoring orders and doing her own thing if she happens to be a Ward... or, on the flipside, is easily able to lure Wards away into her alternate team if the story is going the unusual route of an Indie Hero Taylor.

Of course, even when Piggot is written more or less in character, there’s still a habit in fanfic to write Piggot as handling pretty much everything personally, to the point she couldn’t possibly actually do her job as local PRT head. Mama Emily is worst about this, but I’m not sure I’ve seen a single fanfic that dealt with Piggot in reasonable detail without turning her into a micro-manager with no way to realistically have time for her actual duties. Even the Deputy series is a bit guilty of this, and it’s got probably the best Piggot depiction I’ve ever seen!

Rule#10: Panacea Is A Woobie

This tends to crop up fastest in cases where Taylor’s power eg involves the creation and control of organisms of some sort, with the story frequently endeavoring to arrange for Panacea and Taylor to meet ASAP, but it’s very much the default for Panacea to be treated as someone who deserves sympathy and support, and specifically to end up having Taylor befriend her -even if it’s not really in-character for the alt-power Taylor to do so.

By extension, Brandish is often treated as basically a villain, while Glory Girl varies whether she gets treated as a dumb brute contributing to Panacea’s situation or a sympathetic figure who happens to be ignorant and that’s a problem.

Notably, no matter how little synergy may exist between Taylor’s power and Panacea’s power in a given fanfic, there’s a tendency to find some excuse to have the two doing something ‘gamebreaking’ together.

---------------------------------

There’s a bunch of other patterns that recur a fair amount, but these ones stand out to me in part because they paint a trajectory, as opposed to just being an unrelated collection of trends.

#Worm #Fanfiction

[surveyhoursss]

150.

Character survey:

Your name is unusual where you live.

People often say you are attractive.

You tend to deny compliments that you get.

Other people of your same gender are jealous of your looks.

Your natural hair color is unusual or rare.

Your natural eye color is unusual or rare.

You strongly resemble a certain famous person.

Despite poor eating and/or exercise habits, you are still thin.

Sometimes people worry that you're anorexic, but you're not.

You are cross-cultural. (your parents are from two different countries).

You are half- or part -Oriental.

Even after getting dirty or sweaty, you still look good.

You smell good without cologne, perfume, et cetera.

You have at least one scar with an interesting story behind how you got it.

You have at least one scar or birthmark that is plainly, obviously visible, but doesn't make you look ugly.

When you stare at people or off into space, they almost always (A) feel like you're staring into their soul or reading their mind, (B) think you're up to something, or (C) feel like you know something they either don't know or don't want you to tell.

You don't often get sick.

You often dress impractically (i.e. show up looking gorgeous to a charity event or marathon, somewhere you'd usually dress sloppy and casual).

You stand up for others, even if it means risking your own well-being.

You are brave or daring to the point of recklessness.

Your beliefs are extremely, radically liberal.

You are sarcastic and witty.

You are disrespectful to authority, but only when they deserve it.

You are punished more harshly than others.

You have Antisocial Personality Disorder.

You have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder).

You are SELF-DIAGNOSED with ADD or ADHD.

Animals love you.

You have a pet cat.

You consider yourself above average intelligence.

You have a glamorous occupation (i.e. lawyer, executive, anything artistic or theatrical, et cetera).

You are a legal adult, have not reached retirement age, and don't have to work for a living.

You fit a certain stereotype (nerd, goth, hipster, "popular" person, et cetera).

You have a very good singing voice.

You play at least one musical instrument.

You have exceptional artistic talent.

Sometimes it seems like you're psychic or telepathic.

You are fluent or near-fluent in more than one language.

You succeed at almost anything you put your mind to.

Your Plan A usually works.

Most everyone underestimates you.

People are jealous of your abilities. (only linguistic skills, I'm not the talented goddess that my close friends are lol)

You have learned martial arts (any kind).

Your parent(s) or guardian(s) aren't (or weren't) very strict.

You possess an important family heirloom.

Your parents trust you, for the most part.

You have a lot of friends and/or are "popular.”

You are angsty.

Certain circumstances of your childhood were strange or unusual.

You suffer "rebellious princess syndrome" (feminism, extreme tomboyishness, et cetera).

You have lied, exaggerated, or de-exaggerated in some of your answers in this quiz to avoid seeming like you're bragging.

TOTAL: 24/50

~ ~ ~

RESULTS

1-9: CAMEO

You're not the sort of person who could be the protagonist of a book or movie, but you're certainly the sort of down-to-earth, matter-of-fact person I'd like to be friends with. You're the "filler characters" who make books and movies possible and probably have their own cool stories going on in the background that we don't know about (but we sure would like to!). Unless you answered "yes" to the bonus question, in which case, you liar, go take the quiz again.

EXAMPLE: Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Mai or Ty Lee from Avatar: The Last Airbender

10-19: PROTAGONIST'S BEST FRIEND OR ANTAGONIST'S RIGHT-HAND (WO)MAN

You're more the "protagonist's best friend" than the "protagonist." But that's okay, because the "protagonist's best friend" usually ends up being everyone's favorite character anyways. Why? Because you're the guy everyone can relate to - and, more importantly, you're often the comic relief AND, at times, you're what keeps the plot chugging forward. This category also contains the heroes who have to try extra hard to save the day, like, harder than the average hero (an offhand example of this is Megamind).

EXAMPLES: Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley from Harry Potter, Jack Harkness from Doctor Who

20-29: PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST

You're a good, healthy medium. In a nutshell, you're worth paying attention to: dramatic, but not melodramatic, and different, but not overwhelmingly so. I...should really write a longer description for this, but I'm really tired, so I won't. Just...skip to the examples.

EXAMPLES: Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Dan Phantom from Danny Phantom

30-39: EPIC HERO

An "epic hero" is the protagonist of a story that fits the general "hero's journey cycle.” Epic heroes tend to act a tad more on the unrealistic side (maybe melodramatic, perhaps not always reacting to situations like a normal human being, doing arguably stupid things for the sake of a good cause and in the name of courage / honor / love / family / friendship), but they make up the bulk of really good stories out there. Why? Because epic heroes are interesting, they're dynamic - epic heroes are who we wish we could be, but never actually could be.

EXAMPLES: Harry Potter from Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker from Star Wars, any protagonist who falls into an obvious trap in order to save someone they love

40-51: MARY SUE

Congratulations - you are a perfect (or near-perfect) specimen of human being. Can I have your autograph? But really. Mary Sues are annoying as hell in fiction BECAUSE they're perfect - they're that person you'd give anything to switch lives with. You know. THAT person. There's only one person in existence who generates more jealousy than a Mary Sue, and that is Batman. Because he's Batman!

EXAMPLES: Lily Evans from Harry Potter, Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon, Annabeth from Percy Jackson & the Olympians

[fadedtoblue]

Recap of the Defenders panel at SDCC, pt. 2 (aka just a beat by beat recap of episode 1...)

If you missed, it you can catch part 1 here. I’m sure you can find videos of the panel out now, but if you wanted my additional commentary, there you go, haha :).

I’ve been writing bits and pieces of this since Friday night, so needless to say, I’m starting to get a little fuzzy on the order of the scenes and specifics b/c I was in such a state of shock while watching (and I don’t get the benefit of rewatching it right away 10 times in a row, lol), but I’ll try to recollect as much as possible, as best I can. I’ll also share some of my opinions and theories at the very end.

Some brief, non-spoilery thoughts: This was definitely a set up episode for everything that is to come, so as much as I know everyone wants answers to certain questions, you’re just not going to get to them right away. The show doesn’t hesitate to pick up the threads left from each individual series though, so don’t expect it to be slow at all. They also did a lovely job making each Defenders’ scenes look and feel like their own shows, while still bringing them all together into a new kind of feel and style for The Defenders. I was impressed by that. Anyway, if you have any more general questions, feel free to send me an ask or note.

And now...I shouldn’t have to say this, but just in case...HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE DEFENDERS UNDER THE CUT! (Apologies for any mistakes, I wrote too much and just want to get it posted rather than spending even more time editing!)

Opening scene:

Very first scene opens in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. An unnamed man is being chased by a woman in black wielding double katanas and shrouded in darkness down some sort of sewer-like corridor, exchanging blows, and the man is clearly getting overwhelmed in the fight. Before she can land the killing stroke, Danny appears out of the darkness and jumps into the fight to draw the woman away. Danny is holding his own, but the woman is clearly a superior fighter, and lands a nice slice across Danny’s tattoo; in his shock, the woman gets the opening she needs and stabs the mystery man to death. Danny tries to chase down the woman, who is running away, and manages to land one Iron fist-packed punch on her, which sends her flying, but she disappears as quickly as she appeared. When Danny returns to the man, Colleen is with him, and we see that he’s clearly dying. After a bit of back and forth, the man tells them that their fight is not there, it’s in New York. Very mysterious, and Danny is extremely frustrated. This has apparently been one of their biggest leads in their search for the Hand, and just like that, he’s gone. Also, it’s pretty obvious this woman is Elektra, and the most impressive thing was how much her fighting skills had supernaturally improved. A small hint at the power of the Black Sky! (Note: there’s really no hint as to who this guy could be, and I originally assumed maybe he was affiliated with the Hand, like Bakuto’s faction or something? But the end credits mention Shaft, who was announced as a character on the show, and plays a big role in the Chaste, so that’s an interesting tie in!)

Opening credit sequence:

New song and graphic styles, I really can’t recall now, but think the instrumental had a kind of synth-y vibe. The backgrounds are basically outlined, lit up, 3-D maps of New York, but they form each of the different characters in their main color palette. It’s super cool. The names on the credits also utilize an effect on certain letters to make it look like a subway line design (i.e. Charlie Cox’s name has a C in a circle). It’s a cute touch and really drives the whole “New York is the fifth Defender!” thing home.

Okay, this is where the order of these scenes gets a little iffy in my head, not to mention we do switch between the characters pretty often this episode...I think I’m fairly clear on the details themselves though! I’ll basically try to summarize everyone’s scenes in one go and then summarize the closing act on its own!

Jessica Jones:

Jessica is (surprise, surprise!) passed out drunk in an empty bar and gets rudely awakened by the bartender, who helpfully informs her that it’s morning and she should probably get out of his bar. Next, we see Trish is running across the street to keep her car from getting towed, but the cop is an ass and refuses to unhook it. Suddenly, we see the car get pulled off by an inexplainable force! Turns out it’s Jessica, who snarkily asks the cop if he has a problem, and Trish has trouble holding back a smile. Now we see Trish and Jessica walking down the street with coffee cups and fighting over Jessica’s life state post-Kilgrave, one that involves a lot of drinking and zero working, which greatly concerns Trish. Trish lets Jessica know that she’s been getting a lot of interest in her story and wants Jessica to take some interviews, if only to make some extra money while she’s not working. Trish says something to the affect of, only you (Jessica) could take a personal triumph and turn it into despair, or something like that. Jessica tries to tell her not to worry. Trish takes a sip of her coffee and nearly spits it out -- turns out Jesica had handed her coffee to Trish and Trish finds out the coffee has whiskey. This got a pretty good laugh during the screening :). Jessica is then shown walking down the hallway to her apartment -- the window is boarded up and clearly hasn’t been fixed since JJ S1. There are two people standing outside the door as she approaches, a woman who seems well-dressed and pulled together, and her teenage daughter, who is snarky and disdainful toward Jessica. The mom heard about what Jessica did and wants her to take a case -- her husband has been missing for a week -- and Jessica flat out says no. As the woman presses her case, Jessica goes into mocking mode, and suggests that everyone thinks THEIR partner would never do anything like this, but usually they’re always cheating. The daughter lobs a few snarky comments at Jessica and the mom, and finally the two of them leave. Jessica seems to have a moment of remorse as she’s opening the door, turns around, and calls out to them. The woman turns around hopefully but Jessica only says that she hopes they can find him soon. The inside of Jessica’s apartment is still absolutely trashed from all of the Luke / Kilgrave stuff from S1 -- part of the scenes are shot through the hole in the wall, which is hilarious. She gets a phone call, and someone using a voice scrambler warns her not to take the case. Dun dun dun! We know what that means!!

Later on, you see Jessica sitting at her desk with her laptop open, using her expert Googling skills to learn more about missing mystery man. At this point, Malcolm strolls in, which pisses Jessica off -- she’s already told him to stop coming into her apartment, he says she gave him a key, she counters that he made himself his own copy of the key, he helpfully clarifies because he was helping her get her locks changed, banter banter banter. I want to know that Malcolm has beefed up a lot for this show. It was noticeable lol. He immediately notices she’s on her computer and absolutely lights up, asking whether she’s taken on a case? She insists she hasn’t taken it...yet, and he’s basically celebrating that she’s totally taken the case and runs over to hover over her shoulder while she’s researching, which pisses her off. They talk briefly about the guy who’s missing, and Jessica mentions that the only reason why she’s even doing this is because she got a call from someone using a voice scrambler who doesn’t want her to look into it, but surely they covered their tracks and won’t want to be found. At which point Malcolm posits the possibility that the guy is actually an amateur, and what if she could track the call back? So Jessica pulls a Jessica and calls the operator, pretending that she received a call from her grandfather who is missing from dementia and gets the number. They find the address the number is connected to, which Malcolm immediately recognizes as a super shady neighborhood that people generally used to get off the grid to use drugs, etc.

Jessica shows up at the building Malcolm helped her identify. Inside, it looks and sounds sketchy as hell -- flickering lights, sounds of people fighting and/or having sex, a real ball. She heads up the stairs to the specific apartment she seems to have identified as the exact location of the call. She bangs on the door, telling him (I assume she thinks it’s James -- the husband -- hiding out in there) that the landlord / someone already told her he’s inside. After getting no response, she does her patented doorknob breaking move (the scene we saw in the first trailer) and goes in. There’s a TV on, but the place is otherwise dim and abandoned. She slowly walks through, peeking into the bedroom and rounding back out to the living area. She spots some boxes, opens one up and inside is either weapons or explosives (I’m leaning toward the latter) -- the camera paused on it for a quick few seconds and I didn’t absorb the writing as thoroughly as I’d like, but it’s obviously something really bad.

Luke Cage:

We start out with the scene of him walking down the jail corridor, while the inmates cheer him on. It’s not super clear in the beginning, but we soon discover that Luke had his charges cleared, thanks to the excellent lawyering provided by one MR. FOGGY NELSON, who is clean shaven and sporting a very short haircut (gotta look the part at those big firms I guess!). Luke asks for Claire, but Foggy tells him only lawyers are allowed. Luke decides it’s time to hop on a bus and get back to New York ASAP. Before he leaves, Foggy gives him his business card and lets him know he can always reach out if he ever needs help starting over. Luke assures him he doesn’t need to start over, just need to move forward. Foggy helpfully lets him know that most people call him Foggy, to which Luke quips: “And you let them?” which earns a great laugh from the room :).

Now you see Luke on his bus ride back to NYC, and this scene is basically just the same scene in the first trailer with him looking out the window and seeing things like Pop’s barbershop as he drives by. He gets off the bus (which is plastered with a New Harlem Renaissance ad, so you can assume Mariah is still going at it) somewhere in Harlem and as the camera pans out, you see Ms. Claire Temple looking like her damn fine self, leaning against the wall, waiting for his return. They end up back at her apartment and immediately rock that cup of coffee, like wow, it was...physical hahaha. Think overturning furniture, going at it all over the place, I’ll admit to being slightly concerned for Claire b/c damn Luke is a strong guy, but she seemed like she was having a good time lol. In the trailer I thought they were leaning against a headboard - nope, it’s a table turned over on its side on the floor, haha. They have a nice chat afterwards, mostly focusing on what Luke might do now that he’s back in New York. He calls Claire out a little bit, saying that he knows she kept some things from him in the letters they exchanged while he was away. She confesses a lot of things happened and are still going on in the city, and she’s concerned about Luke trying to be a hero (cue the dialogue from trailer #1). At this point, there’s a knock on the door, and it’s...Misty! She’s bemused to see Luke at Claire’s place so quickly after being let out, and asks if he can take a walk down the street with her.

They exchange some small talk, apparently Misty has been made head of some sort of city-wide initiative, which is probably how they’ll take her out of Harlem and into some of the other neighborhoods in the Netflix Marvel world. They end up at a burnt out car that’s decorated with flowers, and Misty explains: there’s been a rash of somewhat unexplained deaths that bear striking similarities -- all young men from Harlem, who were recently employed at some sort of mystery job, moved their moms out of Harlem and into nice houses in what I presume is a more gentrified neighborhood of New York, but end up dead under mysterious circumstances. It could be drug running or it could be something more nefarious -- Misty doesn’t know. Luke wants to help, which Misty reacts to with skepticism (she makes a “Really? I’m going to send the guy who just got out of lockup?” kind of joke) but she mentions that this particular memorial is actually for the brother of Candace Miller, who died in LC S1. Apparently she had two brothers, so Misty tasks Luke to track down the last brother, who she last heard wasn’t exactly on the right side of the law, and talk some sense into him before the mother of that family loses her last child.

Luke heads over to the apartment building of the third brother, another interior with flashing lights, except this time with loud music. Luke encounters a group of guys in front of an apartment and asks them where he can find “insert brother’s name here b/c I honestly can’t remember it out” -- they’re about to snap at him for interrupting them and realize it’s Luke Cage, at which points their jaws snap shut and they direct him one floor up. Luke lets himself into the apartment, sees the brother, and walks up to an expensive looking speaker set up to turn down / off the music. The brother angrily exclaims, thinking that his friends are messing with his equipment and is surprised to see it’s Luke. Luke says he’s here to pay his respects, and the two have a conversation in which the brother pretty much stubbornly refuses to listen or provide any information on his brother who just died. Luke notices that for a kid between jobs, he seems to have some pretty nice things (the music / speaker system, spacious apartment, really nice shoe collection) and asks if he might have taken on the same job his brother had before he died. The boy is silent, Luke says something wise, and then leaves.

Matt Murdock:

His scene opens in his apartment, focused on some sort of Braille printer? Matt is practicing an argument for an upcoming case as the pages print off. Suddenly, he catches on the sound of someone getting mugged and you see him going into Daredevil mode and hearing the situation unfold -- Matt is visibly tensing and literally willing his body not to rush off. As he’s listening, he also hears the police approaching and containing the situation. He untenses his body and resumes practicing his speech. At this point, we switch immediately to the courtroom, where Matt is grilling a man on the stand. I couldn’t exactly follow what the incident was and what product the man’s company made, but whatever it was, it was responsible for injuring a young boy, putting him in a wheelchair. Matt is really in his element and manages to pin the executive on the stand into a corner and goes in for the kill. Then we are suddenly outside the courtroom, actually in the same courthouse we were in for the Castle trial, and the news media is there -- Matt won the case and the family of the boy who was injured were awarded $11 mil. The parents of the boy walk ahead to talk to the reporters, while the boy, sitting in the wheelchair, hangs back. Matt has a really lovely scene here when he steps back to talk to the boy, who is clearly having a hard time adjusting to his new circumstances, and gives him a Matt Murdock pep talk about handling adversity and very specifically, coming to terms with a life changing injury (wish I could share more of what he says, but I just can’t remember it and don’t want to butcher it!! It was good though). It does seem to get through to the kid, who then goes back to join his family during their little hallway press conference.

Matt turns around, and we see Karen, who was in the courtroom covering the case for the Bulletin. Karen congratulates Matt on winning the case and is complimentary toward him and what he did in the room. I think Matt also mentions Karen’s work as a journalist and she does her aw shucks Karen thing. She mentions that she needs a quote from him for the story she’s writing, and suggests that maybe they do it over a drink or a bite to eat, which Matt seems surprised at, but agrees to. (This suggests to me that they really haven’t spoken much, since the end of S2 reveal, though they’ve likely crossed paths politely since then.)

Matt and Karen are sitting in a diner, and while the atmosphere is a little awkward, it’s still friendly. They exchange some small talk about their jobs -- Karen asks Matt about his lawyering and I think this is where Matt reveals he’s doing pro bono work, although it’s possible he mentions it at the courthouse, and Karen talks about how she really feels like this is what she’s meant to do. She lowers her voice a bit and asks Matt whether he’s missed being Daredevil. He basically lies and says no. That he doesn’t regret it, but he doesn’t miss it either. Karen seems to be satisfied with that response. She has a whole line about how she really feels like they needed some time to figure themselves out and it sounds like she believes that both her and Matt are in better places now than they were before. She mentions she’s been covering the police beat and she really thinks the police are doing a good job handling the crime, at which Matt cracks a bit of a cynical smile, so maybe he actually did it...he was the hero this city needed and now they don’t need him anymore. But she thinks that right now the city needs more of Matt Murdock, and btw, she still needs that quote, and that’s just about how the scene ends. Very friendly.

EDIT!!! Didn’t realize a huge chunk of Matt’s section was missing from this recap. Damn it Tumblr, you’ve eaten parts of this post like 5 times already. This re-recap will be a bit of a rush job, sorry! Anyway, after the meeting with Karen, Matt goes to find Father Lanthom for confession. He says it’s been three days since his last confession, which suggests to me that he’s been going consistently, and often. He initially brings up the meeting with Karen, and talks about feeling bad about lying to her about not missing being Daredevil. In order to remain transparent, I will say he did use language to refer to Karen as someone he loves, but the impression didn’t come off as romantic, but more out of friendship / deeply caring for her. I really do believe he is sincere in wanting to become friends again. And nothing about the diner meeting or the conversation here feels like it’s moving toward anything more than trust building, which Matt already kind of fails at since he lies to her face there. Anyway, this part of the conversation didn’t last for very long since Lanthom takes the temperature on the situation and immediately gets to the heart of what’s bothering Matt, which I won’t bother recapping b/c you can see it in the scene below:

Danny Rand:

Since Danny was such a big part of the opening scene, he doesn’t get a traditional intro scene like the rest of the defenders in the first act of the episode, so after we’ve touched base with all of the Defenders, we bounce back into his story and find him flying back to New York on his jet with Colleen. It starts with him, alone in the bathroom, and this is where we get that dramatic scene of him wiping the mirror from the trailer. There’s little bit of editing trickery here, as he notices some weird blood splatters on the wall behind him, and he goes from the mirror to tearing off a piece of the wall? Or pushing aside some sort of curtain? And we segue seamlessly into Danny walking into some sort of eerie, abandoned hallway, all torn and tattered. We quickly notice the hallway floor is covered in bloody bodies, bodies of the dead K’un Lun monks. He passes through another doorway and there’s a whole group of them, standing in formation, covered in blood and staring down at him accusingly. He is clearly overwhelmed and confused, and turns around, only to see himself, dressed in robes and looking serious. He says something to real Danny (again, sorry about being spotty on the actually lines), which prompts real Danny to basically breakdown screaming. At this point we hear Colleen in the background, shaking him awake from what’s obviously a nightmare. She tries to get him to talk about the screaming, which he tries to shrug off as turbulence terrors, but she’s not buying it. They talk about the man they hunted down in Cambodia and it’s clear that he’s feeling guilty about his death, and is still feeling guilty about the not being at K’un Lun to protect his city. Colleen insists that it’s not his fault, but Danny remains unconvinced. Danny and Colleen return to the city and are taking a helicopter ride over the city. They’re holding hands. She’s marveling at the view and they’re discussing home -- New York is basically Colleen’s home but for Danny, even though he grew up here, he still doesn’t know if this is his home.

Alexandra:

Our introduction to Sigourney’s antagonist Alexandra lacks any bombast or fanfare, but you definitely feel...unsettled in a lot of her scenes. We first see her in some sort of nondescript building, and she’s waiting for an appointment, looking classy af. A person comes up and leads her to a really bare, empty room, and asks Alexandra to change into a patient’s gown. The nurse brings her out of the room and to a larger room with a CAT scan machine. The doctor greets her warmly but has bad news for her, which she seems to be expecting -- her red? white? blood cell count is precipitously low and her body’s organs are starting to shut down. She asks what the doctor is going to do about it, and he says there isn’t anything they can really do, which is an answer that clearly doesn’t satisfy her (“That’s not what I asked.”). When she asks how long she has, he guesstimates around a few months.

Edit: Embedded the released preview clip that corresponds with the below scene :)

We see Alexandra again in what I assume is Central Park (sorry guys, I don’t know NY!), sitting on a bench and feeding the pigeons. Again, she looks amazing. Madame Gao (woohoo!) comes into frame and says she thought she’d find her here, it’s always been her favorite spot. Alexandra muses about how surprised she is this place hasn’t already been razed to the ground and replaced with high rise buildings, she remembers when it used to be forest. She starts into a mini history lesson about New York City and how the Dutch bought it for 24 dollars -- then she drops a burn -- it was 24 dollars too much. She delivers it with such classy disdain, I love it. There’s also a hint of “Hey I was here when this happened” which tracks nicely with the hints Gao has given about her longevity / immortality...clearly Alexandra has quite a history herself. Anyway, they move onto discussion of more important things, like nefarious evil plans? Madame Gao updates Alexandra about some part of this plan and says in a few months they should be ready to make their move. Alexandra quickly shuts this down, which seems to take Madame Gao by surprise. Instead, Alexandra wants to make her move now, which Gao tries to talk her out of -- she doesn’t think it’s a good idea, they still need more time, etc etc -- but knowing what we know about Alexandra’s updated life expectancy, she obviously can’t afford to wait to make her move. At the very end of this scene, Alexandra quite flippantly tosses her bag of bird seed at Gao and orders her to finish feeding the birds. So there’s a really obvious and interesting power dynamic here...whoever Alexandra is, she’s quite used to calling the shots!

The last scene we have with Alexandra takes place after all of the scenes from the other characters, and on some sort of fancy rooftop -- it’s the one from the trailer, and I think it might be the same one Gao met with Fisk in S1? I’m not 100%. Gao lets her know that things have begun, which seems to please Alexandra greatly. And at this point, we start to see what exactly that plan is.

Closing scene:

It starts out with a rumble, almost like mild earthquake tremors. Matt is back at home after his confession with Lanthom, and his apartment is bathed in red. When the shaking starts, he freezes almost seems like he’s not sure what to do. The shaking intensifies, dust and debris flying off, and he seems actually scared at this point, kind of crouching over and covering his head. Jessica, in the mystery apartment she’s tracked down, is also looking around in a mixture of confusion, fear, and WTF as everything shakes around her. In the streets, you see huge tremors and rows of cars being propelled upwards with some sort of strange force before slamming back into the ground. At the memorial for Candace’s mother, you see her standing outside of the car and looking around in shock as the city shakes around her. A streetlamp breaks and starts to fall, but Luke appears and immediately bears the weight of the falling lamp and pushes it back up and away from her. Danny and Colleen have just gotten off the helicopter, unaware of what’s going on on the ground, but in just a few moments as they walk off the landing pad, the ground cracks beneath them and between them.

As everything crumbles outside, Alexandra calmly turns from the edge of the rooftop and walks over to Elektra in the black cloak, and says that iconic line, “It’s just a city. You’ll get used to watching them fall.”

And basically while the city is falling apart and all of our heroes are like WTF, the episode ends. I know, we were really disappointed lol.

Interesting things of note:

There’s a little scene transition device they employed, at least for the first episode, as you go into a scene for a specific character -- it was sort of a quick-cut style with visual snippets and ambient sounds and slightly colorized for each Defender. I haven’t watched Jessica Jones since it first aired, but it reminded me of that show. Not too surprising because the director for the first 2 episodes of Defenders is the same director who did JJ!

I wrote the heading for this section 2 days ago so while I may have had interesting thoughts then, I certainly don’t now, sorry lol!

#the defenders #marvel's the defenders #the defenders panel #sdcc 2017 #the defenders spoilers #the defenders 1x01 #matt murdock #elektra natchios #jessica jones #luke cage #danny rand #colleen wing #madame gao #my thoughts #text #p talks about stuff #mine

[artificialqueens]

Never Too Old Chapter 2 (Biadore) - China

AN: I know I didn’t get much notes but it doesn’t matter. But I do appreciate that some already like my story, so thank you. A little note though, I made some of the situations up, so some really did happen and some didn’t. I do like to stay true to the actual events of these queens’ lives but like I said, some aren’t real. But i hope you guys enjoy the next chapter :)

TW: light depression and breaking down

November 29, 2016, 4:20 PM

The three friends decided to have coffee in a small café just around the corner from Roy’s apartment. Roy and Shane talking inside the café while Danny is sitting outside finishing his cigarette. Shane decided to call Dan to join them, he arrived moments later and sat with them. Danny gave him a wave and Roy just smiled at him. They have been together in the same season but Roy isn’t comfortable having people outside their circle join them. But he can see that Shane was really into him and that Dan was showing the same feelings, so he decided to be nice. Plus Dan wasn’t mean, he was a really kind guy who was over six feet tall with a weird taste in drag.

It was already winter there but it hasn’t snowed much, yet it was cold enough for Danny and he enjoyed it. He took a long drag from his cigarette and puffed out slowly. He looked inside the café and all he could get a good look at was Roy; since Dan and Shane were all over each other and Roy obviously backed away from that, Danny got to see him more. Danny smiled to himself, he thinks this small crush on Roy isn’t gonna last but hopefully it doesn’t make things awkward for the both of them. Danny is well aware on what happened to Roy and Jason and he feels bad about it. He kept apologizing to Roy and even cried in front of him. Danny could remember that night, they were at a club and Roy went up to him and said Jason broke up with him. Roy wasn’t crying, he wasn’t angry or happy; his face looked very neutral but that made Danny worry because he didn’t want to ruin Roy’s relationship.

Danny took another drag of his cigarette and killed it on the ashtray, thinking of what happened during those days were already too heavy on him. He unlocked his phone and checked the calendar. He finally smiled at himself, knowing his plan for the holiday will be the best idea he’s had in awhile. Part of him is going for this because he wants to have a vacation and the other part is for Roy, so he’s hoping that Roy would agree.

Inside the café, Roy was listening to Dan’s stories on his journey to different countries doing charity and all. Roy can really see how smitten Shane was with the tall man. Roy couldn’t really tell if he could trust this relationship since Shane has been with tons of men. His attention over Dan didn’t last long, he leaned his chin on his hand and looked outside, his eyes finding Danny immediately. Danny was sitting outside, his breath can be seen wafting in the cold breeze. His body snugged up in his jacket, his tussled hair kept under a thick bonnet and his nice long legs in skinny jeans. Danny was beautiful to Roy; the way he showed emotions, the way his voice sounds when he laughs and makes silly noises. Sometimes Roy tries to remember the feeling of being 27 years old again, he knows that if he was that age again in the present he would have done much more and make the most out of his youth.

But this is Roy, 41 years old, very seasoned and slowly becoming weak. Despite of this he loves being with Danny and Shane because they would always make him feel young again.

He looked at where Danny was sitting again, but Danny left the seat. Roy’s head gently popped up and he started looking for the younger man. He couldn’t find Danny in the store and outside, he had half the mind to stand up and check outside to see if he left. Roy is worried Danny had another break down and ran for it. But before he could look back at Shane he felt a cold arm wrap around his neck, Danny’s face was inches away from Roy’s. Roy felt his mouth run dry, seeing his green eyes lazily looking at him and his thick lips curling perfectly to a smile. Danny gave a small chuckle and sat next to Roy, Shane subtly giving the two a look.

“I went to the bathroom. Don’t get your panties in a knot, Roy.” Danny said, giving him a teasing look. Roy just chuckled and looked at his cup of tea.

“Don’t get too cocky, Chola. I just thought you ran off again or something.” Roy answered back, he drank the rest of the tea, his eyes still on Danny.

Danny gave a smile, he thought to himself that it was about time. He sat straight and leaned towards Roy and Shane. “Okay, so we have no idea what to do for the whole month, right? Since Roy has his break, plus you and me,” He pointed at himself and Shane, “We don’t have anything to do till January.”

Shane untangled his hands from Dan and leaned towards Danny as well. “Okay so what do you suggest we do?”

Danny gave a big smile at his friends and got his phone out of his pocket. “I was thinking we do a road trip!” He couldn’t contain himself when he finally said it.

Roy looked at Shane and gave an approving nod. “I like that. Sounds fun. But to where?”

“I was thinking we drive to Azusa.” He raised his hand to his friends before they could argue. “I know you guys might think we can go on plane. But where’s the fun in that? I did my research after lunch and it takes around 41 hours to get there. There’s a route I chose going there too and there’s so much to see if we took it. We can squeeze the whole trip within the month. If we arrive to my place before like, Christmas, then we can stay at my house till New Years and just drive back after. What do you think?”

“I’m okay with this actually. I think this is really fun, and adventurous.” Shane smiled. He looked at Dan and back at Danny. “Can Dan go with?”

“Of course he can!” Danny said. He looked at Roy who was quiet for a bit. “What about you, Roy? You like this idea?”

“Actually, I do. I haven’t been on a road trip in years. I think this is the best way I can spend my break. Plus are we gonna take the route passing Pennsylvania? Cause Aaron and Willam are there for the holidays as well, we can meet up with them?” Danny gave him a nod while drinking the rest of Shane’s coffee.

“That’s great! I mean, I would love to see them.” Shane said. Danny and him were nodding at each other. “You okay with going, Dan?”

Dan wrapped his arm around Shane and smiled at everyone. “Yeah I would love to go. If anything I can help with lodging and gas money. But whose car are we taking?”

“I inquired at this car rental place and they have a Camry available so we can take that.” Danny said.

“Wow, you really did your research. Very impressive Danny.” Roy said. “So we’ll just leave the itinerary to you? I can be the one to pay for the rent for the car and others.” Danny smiled at Roy. Roy felt a tingling sensation in his chest and couldn’t help but smile back at Danny.

Shane started checking his phone. “I can help Danny with the itinerary. I might know some places we can stay in. But I need to know the states were passing through.”

“I’ll give you the details on that when we head back to Roy’s apartment.” Danny said.

“Okay, well it’s almost dinner time, so let’s all discuss this further over dinner?” Roy said reaching for his back pocket to get his wallet. Shane and Dan did the same and gave Roy their share of the coffee. Danny reached the pocket of his jacket and handed his money to Roy, since Danny’s knows that Roy is better with handling with the bill than anyone else.

The four decided to walk back to Roy’s apartment, Dan and Shane holding hands and whispering to each other while Roy and Danny walking silently behind them. Danny said a few words to Roy about the planned road trip, he can tell Danny was excited. Roy knows he is, he knows Danny that way, he would be spending the holidays with friends and also with his mother.

Roy knows Bonnie is a very kind and hospitable person, so she wouldn’t mind if Roy and Shane come to visit as well. Bonnie lives alone with her boyfriend, Jerry, having Danny around is always a good thing for her. Danny already called her up about their plans to drive there. At first she was hesitant since it’s a 41 hour drive to their hometown but Danny assured her that they were going to be safe and that it was for Roy. Bonnie knows her son, head to toe, and Danny knows he can’t hide anything from her. She knows what feelings her son has towards Roy and for her it was okay, just as long he doesn’t do anything extreme and end up getting very hurt. She knows how much Danny has been through, from American Idol to Drag Race to All Stars 2. Sometimes she feels like Danny is overkilling everything and he always ends up getting hurt. Danny knows that the last thing his mom wants is that he gets hurt by a guy he’s been crushing on.

They all arrived at Roy’s apartment, he agreed to let Dan spend the night with them so he doesn’t have to travel late just to get home, just as long as they don’t have sex in his apartment. Roy settles down while Shane and Dan head to his empty room to get extra mattresses, since they agreed they’ll camp on the floor of Roy’s bedroom while Danny and Roy share the bed together. Shane decides to be very subtle about it but couldn’t resist on letting out a tease or two. Danny just laughs at him and tries to shrug it off, since he knows that he actually wants to sleep next to Roy. Roy on the other hand, tries to play it cool but the feeling of sleeping with him again, got him on his toes. They have slept together a couple of times but since Roy is confused already with what he feels for Danny, things might be a bit different, but he wants to think of it in a good way. It’s something new for Roy and he doesn’t mind finding out where it leads to.  

The four discusses the road trip over dinner, Danny decided to take the route going west to Azusa. Roy and Danny agreed to be the ones driving and Shane would be in charge of where to sleep and what to do when they arrive on their stopovers. Dan tells them he’ll help out in any way, so Shane just asked him to help pay for any of the expenses.

Danny is more than willing to take the route passing Pennsylvania, because Justin messaged him and saying he’ll be with Aaron and Willam for the holidays. Danny told everyone the route to Azusa and showed it on a map on his phone. From New York, they will pass by Pennsylvania and spend a few nights there with their friends and then travel to Indiana, since Shane and Dan suggested they should spend around three nights there. Danny was a bit shocked on how fast Shane was with planning, but he couldn’t argue at least they would have something nice to do on their travel.

Danny and Shane were the most enthusiastic among the four about the planned trip, Roy and Dan were the ones fixing up the dinner table while the two argue on ideas. Dan insists that he does the dishes and Roy reluctantly agrees and tells him thank you. Roy realizes that this has been the liveliest night he has ever had in his apartment. Usually when Danny and Shane come to visit, they’re barely spending an early night here. They would be out in a bar, where Shane would pick up men and Danny would force Roy to drink with him and Danny would end up getting drunk first. This is the kind of moment where Roy would honestly feel at home. He loved seeing everyone smiling and laughing or actually talking to each other and not be so sucked up in social media. It was these kinds of moments where Roy loves being with other people around, where he didn’t mind that noisy people are in his home and where he doesn’t want to be alone.

———————————————————————————————————-

November 30, 2016, 8:45 AM

Danny has always been doubting himself. He didn’t knew how he reached to top 3 on RuPaul’s Drag Race. But it was a wakeup call for him, it was telling himself that he can do it and that he can achieve things. He’s been to American Idol twice and never reached to anything close to the finish line. But with Drag Race he never felt so fulfilled.

Danny has never forgotten that question asked to him through Timothy during the reunion. “I kinda have a feeling that you have a crush on Bianca del Rio when she’s out of drag. Do you?” Every time he remembers how he answered it he usually smiles in embarrassment and covers his face. But he did feel bad for lying in television, because he did have feelings for Roy. It was a small crush at first but after being together with Roy and Shane as top 3, Danny saw a side of Roy that just got him really deep into Roy and not Bianca del Rio anymore. To Danny, Roy is so different from what he first thought of. He was still mean, but he is a very sweet person. When Danny was doubting himself, Roy always give the extra push he needed to get back up. Roy was always there for him and Danny felt like he had a special place for Roy in his heart. He knows he doesn’t want to take Roy or Bianca out of his life.

Danny woke up in Roy’s bed. He rubbed his eyes and felt something soft on his cheek. He looked up to see Roy sleeping and that got Danny blushing. He didn’t want to move because he knows if Roy woke up they wouldn’t be in that position anymore. Danny enjoyed it, the warmth from Roy’s body and the sound of his slow and even breaths. He wished Roy was having good dreams. He kept looking up at Roy’s face and started examining every inch of it. The 5 o'clock shadow, the smooth tan skin, and his lips. The lips he’s been wanting to taste for a while, Danny had innocence in his eyes, eager to examine Roy’s features even more. He wanted to kiss Roy then and there but he knows things will change if he does. Danny swore he counted the times he’s imagined kissing Roy in that very moment.

He heard Shane make a small grunt from the floor, Danny closed his eyes again and pretended that he was sleeping. He didn’t want Shane catching him staring at Roy. Shane sat up and looked at the two in bed, Dan woke up as well started mumbling something to the blonde.

“Well, isn’t that sweet.” Shane said softly. He grabbed his phone and took a picture. Danny heard the shutter sounds from Shane’s phone and he wanted to smile, maybe ask for the photo when everyone is awake. Dan gently shoved Shane and giggled.

“You should have placed that on silent, they might wake up.” Dan whispered to him. Shane went back to Dan and gave a small kiss on his lips.

“Well, they’re still sleeping.” He said. He got himself up from the floor and gestured Dan to go with him. “C’mon, let’s give them their moment.”

He heard Shane and Dan leave the bedroom so he decided to loosen up again, but Roy shifted his position and wrapped his arm around Danny. Danny almost panicked when he felt Roy’s chest gently pressing on his face. He decided to gently sniff Roy, he smelled like Calvin Klein mixed with perfume he can’t describe, Danny felt like he was in heaven. Roy had a small physique but he was soft. He found his hands resting on Roy’s waist and he wanted to go lower.

Danny kept smiling to himself and repeating how much he was loving this, but his smile slightly faded when he came into a realization.

“Fuck am I that into him? This might not end well if I do something stupid.” He thought to himself, with worry in his eyes.

Roy silently woke up. He was too groggy to picture everything but he knew he couldn’t move. He looked down and saw Danny being nuzzled under his body. Roy blushed when he felt Danny’s hand on his waist and feeling his breathing on his chest. Roy didn’t know what to do, he was torn between staying in that position and wait for Danny to wake up or being the one to wake up and move. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, but his body seems to. His hands started moving on his own, grazing through Danny’s back slowly. There was this sensation running through Roy’s head and body, he hasn’t really felt this way with Jason when they would cuddle in bed. It felt right for him, but Roy always chooses mind over heart and he knows that this isn’t right for him to feel this way for Danny. He was starting to remember what Willam told him about Danny during the break up with Jason, now things are messy in his head. But Roy knows he likes it, he just has no idea what he really feels for Danny.

Danny felt Roy’s hands on his back, it was an exciting feeling for him. Like he was being tickled but not that strong. Danny has slept in Roy’s bed before but there wasn’t much contact between them. The only time he did cuddle up to Roy was the first few nights he left All Stars 2.

The happy feelings he had faded when the thoughts of All Stars 2 were flooding his head, he opened his eyes and felt a blank expression fall on his face. The heavy feeling on his chest came back, every haunting memory just flashed before him right then and there. His breathing went heavy, he placed his hands on Roy’s chest and started to clench onto it. Roy’s eyes shot open, he immediately held Danny closer.

“Hey?” He said softly, rubbing his hand on Danny’s back. He got no response from Danny, but after a few seconds Danny started to grip Roy’s shirt harder and pulled it towards his face. Roy felt his shirt moisten, he gently grabbed Danny’s face to meet his, the green eyes already filled with tears. Roy tried to wipe away the tears from his face and whisper to Danny that things will be okay and that he shouldn’t think about the past too much. Danny just kept shaking his head and cried even more.

“I-I can’t…” Danny mumbled. His breathing got heavier and he held Roy closer to him. “I… I don’t know what to do with all these memories, Roy.”

Roy didn’t exactly know what to say, because in his head he’s already said the same thing to Danny ever since this started. But he felt like if he said the same thing it would feel like he’s imposing something to Danny and he knows Danny doesn’t need that right now.

“I’m sorry.” Danny sobbed. He cried harder, holding on to Roy’s body tight. “I’m such a burden to you.”

“Danny.” Roy interrupted. Danny was still crying hard, Roy pressed his lips on Danny’s head, “You’re not a burden to me, Danny.” He said softly through his hair. “I know it’s really hard. To just forget everything, and I know I’ve already said the things I needed to say about this.” He made Danny looked at him, Danny’s eyes already red from the crying. Roy simply smiled at him and pushed his messy bed hair away. Roy pressed another kiss on his forehead. “But let’s just look at this way okay? That it’s almost the end of the year and we are gonna spend the whole holiday together and with your mom. Let’s look forward to this, okay? I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“But this trip was supposed to be for you Roy. Not for me. For you.” Danny cried in his thoughts, he wanted to say it to Roy but his throat went dry and he couldn’t seem to say anything. He hugged Roy again, feeling Roy’s lips on his forehead, still burned to his skin. Danny couldn’t fight the doubts in his head, or the feeling that he wasn’t strong enough to be there for Roy even if Roy was always there for him.

Danny is having a hard time with all these breakdowns, he wanted it to stop but he can’t help that these feelings keep returning. It was one of the worst moments for Danny after he left, since it was the first time a drag queen tapped out from a competition. Danny had his reasons, everyone knew that and they showed so much love for him after. But to Danny it was a deep wound for him, he had so much mixed feelings about it.

He was glad he left and at the same time he wished he could have stayed. But as much as his determination and passion was there, he just felt so empty. No matter how many times he got convinced by Justin, Michelle Visage and even RuPaul to stay, he just couldn’t. It was that feeling where you feel empty yet you also feel the heaviness in your chest. Danny was feeling that the whole time when he got home.

After he went home to his mother, he said he needed to take a flight to New York and he immediately went to see Roy and stayed with him for a week. There were a lot of things going through his head and he couldn’t even think of what he can do on a daily basis. Right after Season 6 of Drag Race, he knew what he was doing and he knew that he didn’t have to please anyone at that point. He got to finally work on his music and make his drag style in his own liking that no one had to disapprove it.

It was around September when he came to Roy, it was even weeks before his birthday. Danny never felt so vulnerable at that time. It wasn’t the first time he was that hurt on reality television, getting eliminated in American Idol twice and all the criticisms he received during Drag Race Season 6. But nothing made him feel more destroyed in All Stars 2.

When he was with Roy, he just kept crying and locking himself up in Roy’s extra bedroom. Roy has never seen Danny like that, just floating in air and he couldn’t figure out what to do for Danny. Roy always had the right thing to say when Danny asked for advice, but at that point, he didn’t know what to say to him. He was quiet most of the time, said a few motivational words to Danny, but he still ended up having quiet moments with Danny. They would just sit next to each other on the sofa until Danny stopped crying or Danny would cuddle up to Roy while he was working.

Roy knew from that day, he had to be there for Danny, it didn’t matter to him that he gave more for him. What really mattered to Roy was that the one person that meant so much to him was okay and that Roy wouldn’t end up regretting that he wasn’t there for Danny. Roy didn’t want to be alone, if he was being selfish. But he didn’t want Danny to lose himself as well and Roy couldn’t take that.

Roy started blinking fast, returning from his memory. Danny was still clinging on to him, silently crying on his chest. He scooched up a bit to make him sit up on the bed, so he can hold Danny properly. Danny sat up and tried to stop crying. He held one hand on his mouth and the other on his chest, he tried so hard to not cry but the tears kept falling. Roy sat up and held his hand tight, he tried to wipe the tears away and fix Danny’s messy hair.

Shane barged in the room, his eyes were wide and he immediately ran to Danny and hugged him from behind. Danny started sobbing, he fell back on Shane and just kept crying. This was a painful thing to see for Roy. He glanced at the doorway seeing Dan gesturing he’ll close the door and mouthed that he’ll make breakfast. Roy got out of bed head towards Dan and gave him a few instructions on how to use some of the kitchen appliances. Dan gave a thumbs up and Roy gently closed the door. He turned his back to see Shane rocking Danny slowly and softly singing to him. Danny’s expression started to calm down, he opened his eyes to see Roy and lazily gestured him that he wanted a hug. Shane also reached his arms out for the older man, smiling at him. Roy gave a lazy smile and joined them, Danny immediately grabbed Roy and hugged him tight, Shane giving the bigger hug to fit both of them.

Roy honestly felt like Shane was the best person to help Danny out with his problems. Because Shane knew exactly what to do to cheer him up, he has a lot of encouraging words and he does all these things to make Danny smile. Sometimes Roy would tell himself that he should have done this or said that and Shane would be the one to say it before he does. But he doesn’t realize that asides from Danny’s mom, Roy was the first person Danny ran to. He could have chosen Shane or Justin or even Jay. But he chose Roy. Sometimes Danny doesn’t understand why he went to Roy first since he knows he does have feelings for Roy. At the back of his mind he knew that he needed Roy.

“Thanks guys.” Danny said softly, still hugging Roy and Shane. “Sorry again for this. I keep doing it.”

Roy pulled away so he can face Danny properly. Shane gave a big kiss on Danny’s cheek, making Danny smile. “Don’t be sorry about this, Danny. You need people you love to be around you.” Shane said.

When Shane said that Danny and Roy immediately looked at each other. Danny felt a bit of panic that he looked at Roy, he immediately looked at Shane after.

“Hey, we still have this road trip to do.” Shane added, smiling at both of his friends. “I promise this will be the best holiday ever!” He said with his high pitched voice and hugged Danny after.

“Well Dan already is making breakfast right now. So let’s eat and make the final plans and get our shit ready if you wanna start traveling by tomorrow.” Roy said, reaching for the box of tissues he had on his bed counter and handed it to Danny.

“Yeah, we gotta pack up and all.” Danny added, grabbing the tissue and started wiping his eyes. His face was already red from all the crying. But he still managed to give a big smile to his two friends. Roy has always agreed to himself that he feels happier every time he sees Danny smile.

“Alright then, I’m gonna help Dan out first. Then after we get everything ready.” Shane said standing up from the bed. “You and Danny get the car later. Is that alright with you?”

“Yeah, Danny and I will be the ones to get it. Just get your itinerary ready and your boy toy.” Roy replied.

“You’re a cunt.” Shane said flatly. “But alright I’ll call you guys when breakfast is ready then.” Shane leaned in to give Danny a kiss on the cheek again. “Love you, you’re stronger than you think okay?” He gave a smile and left the room. Danny looked down on his fingers and tried to hold back tears. Roy wanted to say something to him, but these were the moments where he didn’t know what to say. Sometimes even making a small gesture for a friend was hard for him to do. He stood up from the bed, decided to head out to the kitchen and get a glass of water for Danny.

“Hey I’m gonna get you water okay? I’ll be back.” Roy said about to head to the door.

“Roy, wait.” Danny immediately said. He got up from the bed and hugged Roy. His head buried on the nook of Roy’s neck, he hugged him tight and gave out a big sigh. “Thank you.”

Roy hugged him back and smiled. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I really needed you and I’m glad that you were there.”

“I’m glad I was too.”

“I mean since the start. When all of this happened. I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone. I can’t deal with that.”

Roy’s smile faded, he knows how hard it was for Danny but he didn’t know how deep it’s has become.

Before he could say anything, Danny pulled away from the hug, he looked at Roy in the eyes and placed his hand on his cheek. “Please don’t go, Roy.” His eyes became teary again. Danny gave Roy a soft kiss on his cheek and hugged him again. Danny’s heart was racing, he hasn’t kissed Roy like that ever, usually just for fun or a thank you kiss. The kiss he gave Roy was so much more than a simple one, but he felt like he needed to do that.

Despite the events that has happened that morning, Danny felt his heart warming up and all he can think about was kissing Roy again. He wasn’t sure anymore where his feelings for the older man has gone but he knows it’s more than before.

Roy’s heart was also beating fast. The feeling of Danny’s lips on his skin felt more and more desirable to him. Even if Danny was a big mess moments ago, but he couldn’t help but want more. His mind was focused on the kiss, he wants him to do it again but he also is fighting that thought. He pulled away slowly from Danny and guided him to the bed. Danny laid down and smiled at him.

“I’ll go get you that water okay? Then we can get this day started so we can get ready for the trip.” Roy said softly, brushing the long brown hair away from Danny’s face.

Danny gave him a small nod and watched Roy leave the room. When the door closed, he laid on his back and covered his face with his hand. He remembers all the stuff he needed to do on that day. He grabbed his phone on the bed counter and checked the time. He needed to squeeze all the tasks to do for the rest of the morning and afternoon. A part of him is excited for the trip and a part of him was excited as well to be with Roy. He told himself to try to be strong with his feelings about the past but he was also scared with his feelings for Roy. At that point he knew it wasn’t a crush anymore, his heart is slowly falling for Roy and he knows this is might be the best and worst thing that could happen to him.

#biadore #china #adore delano #bianca del rio #courtney act #milk #fluff #rpdr fanfiction #never too old #canon compliant

[phantomphangphucker]

Eyes Through A Looking Glass - DannyMay - Day 30 Glass

Summary: Of course Danny’s got to get medical check-ups, of course they’re not going to be normal.

“Ugh, do I have to?”, Danny whines as he sits in the back of the Fenton RV, exaggeratedly flopping back to accent his complaining. Maddie glances back at him quickly, before turning her eyes back to the road. Smiling slightly as she responds, “of course sweetie, it’s just part of taking care of yourself. Which you really do need to do a better job of”. She’s fully noticed how tired he always is, the skipped meals, how his hair brushes and toothbrushes remain in the exact same spot for months, and then there are the scars she sometimes catches glimpses of. She can’t force him to care about that stuff, especially since he’s a teenage boy, but she’s a mom and moms care about that. So, of course, she knew she’d have to just straight up drive him to the optometrist, to make sure he actually showed and that he was alright. Well, at least alright in the eye department.

Danny hates worrying her but he can’t exactly help it, groaning a bit, “well, could we at least get some good food after?”. Danny didn’t really mind all the ectocontaminated stuff in the fridge, perfectly edible for him; Hell, it was arguably better for him, feeding his ghost half and all that. But Danny had appearances to maintain, and that meant pointing out how nothing in the fridge was humanly edible. Fully pleased at his mothers' chuckle, as they park.

Swinging his legs out the door, before walking towards the building doors with his hands lazily behind his head. Flicking his eyes up to the sky, he can’t help but be glad for the cloudy sky holding a clear warning of rain to come.

Thankfully, they don’t have to wait around long. Waving at his mom as he heads with the eye doctor, “now I know you young boys don’t care much for this sort of thing. But your eyes are one of the most important things you’ve got, and this is Amity. The rates of ocular trauma are massive here”. Danny’s not sure if this guy’s trying to be comforting or advisory, it’s coming off more like scare tactics though.

Scooting into the chair and putting his chin on the offered chin rest, he does find the cheap waxy paper a bit annoying; heightened senses can be a bit of a bitch sometimes.

The eye chart goes expectedly well, Danny would damn well know if any of his senses had gotten bad without the help of some professional. Though Danny’s pretty positive it’s not even possible for his senses to go bad.

But Danny’s not exactly pleased with the guy muttering, “uh”, during the light test thingy.

Doctor Lewis isn’t exactly sure what to make of this. Fiddling as discreetly as he can with his equipment before looking through the glass lenses again, firmly confused that everything looks the same. He’s definitely used to seeing specks of ectoplasm in folks eyes, this was Amity after all, just not with a regular lens. Normally he’d have to use the ectolenses for that, and normally that was the last thing he’d check; he’s officially switching that up today. But first, he might as well just finish testing the Fenton boys coordination and peripherals. Which are also odd, noticing things faster, wider peripherals, quicker muscle reactions. It’s not bad just...odd. He can’t even really claim to be surprised that a Fenton winds up weird and making his day interesting, that’s one thing the family was extremely good at. And the rumours he’d heard about the youngest were very interesting indeed.

Lewis smiles at the boy, noticing his raised eyebrow, obviously this kid pays attention enough to notice things being even slightly off in others behaviour.

Spinning around the lens to bring down the one with dark green edging, only to jerk a bit at the kid’s eye lighting up neon green to rather painful levels. Blinking away the spots in his eyes as he dims the lens, Fenton tech really did have every feature even ones that should never actually be necessary.

He can tell by the kids fidgeting that he knows somethings up, but at the moment he was more focused on making sure this kid wasn't freaking possessed. Getting him to follow his finger, stare at corners, and his ears. If someone was possessed you could still see the patients natural eye colour through the ghosts glowing ones. But that wasn’t what was going on here, these ghost eyes belong to this kid. Very very strange, and definitely interesting for sure.

Moving over to the other eye to see if it’s the same, which it is. Now he could just write this off as one serious case of ectocontamination, but anything above a couple dozen particles would start eating at the patient's eye. So this clearly wasn’t contamination. The kid’s eyes were perfectly fine, so far.

Switching out the lens as he decides to just check everything as he would normally now, even if the boy’s eyeing him funny. “Now I’m going to shine some lights in your eyes. Yes it’s bright, but you do need to keep them open”, he can’t help but snicker as the boy jerks from the bright light; he always did get a kick out of people reacting like that.

But checking his eyes out, the kid’s yet again odd. His pupil's hyper-constricting way beyond what should be possible. Flicking the blackout lens over and checking out his eyes on the computer camera, now they were hyper-dilated. This kid must have some wicked night vision, Lewis is almost jealous of this. Watching as the kid’s eyes dilate to the point where his irises weren’t even visible anymore. This kid’s got freaking absolute dark vision, doesn’t even need light to see. Heck, with the sheer amount of ectoenergy in his eyes he could probably use them as flashlights. If he could turn them on or something.

Shaking his head before giving the boy the eyedrops, “now just got to make sure nothing problematic is going on in the back of your eyes”. He can feel the kid watching him as he puts the bottle back and goes to check his eyes out in the machine again. He’s one paranoid and observant kid, that’s for sure; a good thing in Amity though.

Again, he’s met with the kid’s eyes dilating to a ridiculous degree, but that’s technically useful right now. Made it easier to see everything. And for once this is totally normal, pristine condition actually. Which for Amity is actually odd but he’s a kid, so this isn’t really all that odd.

Spinning the machine away and sitting down, he doesn’t even get to tell the kid he’s done, as the Fenton boy speaks up, “so what’s up with them?”. Again, this kid is paranoid.

Danny’s practically going squirrelly, this dude saw something, multiple somethings actually; and Danny can’t make up an excuse without knowing what’s up. Watching the guy as he digs in one of his drawers, pulling out a green rimmed glass lens. He can see the slight ectoplasm accent to it and that isn’t good news for Danny.

Taking the offered lens as the eye doctor explains, “ectolenses, I use them to spot any ectoplasm and kid, you’re a walking ectoplasmic nightlight. Not sure how that’s safe or works. But I can also say you are definitely not overshadowed”. Danny mentally facepalms, he really should have seen something like that coming. Of course his eyes were weird, his everything was weird. Though with what this guy was saying, sounds like he could literally see his ghost eyes, Phantoms eyes.

Lewis hands the kid a little mirror and watches him check his eyes out through the lens, easily seeing the neon bright green eyes even from the sidelines. But judging by the kid’s lack of response, he knew his eyes were funky. Chuckling a little, “well, if you had this for a while then it must not be a problem. Strange, but you’re a Fenton; strange is the normal. For all accounts and purposes, your eyes are healthy. Better than healthy, actually”.

Danny squints at the guy as he hands back the lens, did this dude just not care? Well, he could read the curiosity on the guys face but he seems to have decided against asking, which honestly weirds Danny out. Blinking as the guy continues talking, “I’d wager to bet your vision is better than what our equipment can record, your coordination and depth perception is more akin to a predator, and you can definitely see in the dark”.

Danny glares at the guy a little, who just smirks. Danny, shaking his head, “and why the hell aren’t you freaking out on me?”.

“Because none of this appears harmful. Harmful or reduced vision is what worries me. Strange is just that, strange; and in Amity strange is practically expected”, Lewis can tell this kid barely believes him. With the Fenton parents he can’t claim to be surprised by that, they would flip their lid over anything ghostly at all. Which makes Lewis think a little, the Fenton’s probably don’t know, otherwise they’d do this themselves. Of course, they’d also try to correct it, anything ghostly was instantly bad to them. Which the kid probably didn’t want, Hell Lewis wouldn’t want that either; this kid basically had enhanced vision, that’s kind of a gift.

Sighing, “normally, I’d fully inform the parents on their kid’s eye health, but telling the Fenton’s anything ghostly is just all around unpleasant for everyone”. Now the kid’s flat-out gaping at him, composing himself before talking, “I mean thanks but uh, I’m gonna need more assurance than that”. Man, this kid is paranoid, Lewis is officially starting to think this boys life is a bit screwed up. But he was clearly hiding stuff from his parents, so the paranoia was rather warranted here, “they’d want this corrected, I’m sure. If I were you, I wouldn’t want that. Plus messing with the eyes, especially unnecessarily, is beyond risky. I’d rather omit somethings than have you come back here half blind or worse”. Thinking on it, while he didn’t know just how good this kid’s sense of sight was, he was likely used to it. So normal vision, normal eyes, would be like suddenly having poor vision and eyes to him, wouldn’t it? Heck, depending on just how good his eyes are, it might just be almost like being partly blinded. Nodding more to himself, “no point in trying to make your vision normal. Really just be making your vision worse, and that’s the opposite of my job. So I guess you just have the predatory eyes of a ghost, they’re just not visible under normal conditions”.

Danny is thanking his lucky stars here, glad he got an, apparently, damn weird eye doctor. Usually, it was just the teens that saw any positives in ghost related stuff, but this guy’s just dismissing “ghost eyes” like it was just having better than average eyes. The guy also clearly cares more about what he does for a job than if someone’s a flat-out weirdo.

But Danny did pick up at the guy hinting at something he was curious about, so Danny decides to throw the guy a bone. He really had already seen his other half’s eyes, so there’s not really any risk in this.

Rubbing at his neck a bit sheepishly before smirking and sparking his ectoenergy to life in his eyes. Snickering a bit at catching the guy off guard. But he quickly composes himself and smiles, “you can read people quite well, and those could definitely function like flashlights”. Danny raises an eyebrow at that, this dude really didn’t give a damn. Well, he cared and was interested but not exactly bothered. Danny shrugs loosely, “I mean yeah but I think you’re a bit of a weirdo yourself. Just not physically”.

If caring more about eye health and finding this more neat than concerning, made Lewis a “weirdo” then that’s fine with him. Pretty obvious the kid doesn’t mean that as an insult, Hell, probably calls himself that; which is accurate.

Getting up and patting the boy on the shoulder, “weird’s interesting, and I do like interesting. But there’s no reason to keep you any longer”. Watching the kid smirk and chuckle before letting the green of his eyes turn off or die out or however, he exactly does it. Eyeing the, definitely strange, Fenton kid as he walks out. His demeanour is loose, cocky, and even a bit bold now; which means Lewis did his job.

Calling Ms. Fenton over, he does indeed tell her that her son’s vision is perfect, he just doesn’t point out that it’s better than perfect. But he’s quickly reminded how paranoid about ghost anything and how ghost focused the Fenton’s are. As she flat-out asks if the ectolenses they made had shown anything, with the boy instantly looking slightly panicked.

Catching him both mouthing, “say yes” and the hand symbol for “just a little bit”, obviously this kid has told them some kind of cover story for something. Sneaky kid and again, very paranoid; obviously it’s not just his eyes he’s hiding but that’s not Lewis’s concern. Smiling reassuringly at Ms. Fenton, “there are ectoplasm specks of course, but nothing to a dangerous level. Just typical Amity and it’s general weirdness. I’d leave it be, no point in correcting a non-issue”. Clearly reading that she doesn’t want or intend to leave his patients eyes alone, he decides to try and reinforce his warning. Because he wasn’t kidding, he didn’t want to see a young kid come back with any level of ocular trauma just because his parents were majorly anti-ghost. Taking a more serious tone, “Ms. Fenton, you don’t want to go messing around with the eyes. Unless it is genuinely doing the patient harm, which it is not here. Getting rid of some ectoplasm is not worth accidentally blinding someone”.

Now Danny’s sure this guy actually likes scaring people a little, or at least startling them. But he’s not gonna complain if it gets his mom off his back. Seeing her nod awkwardly makes him feel like she might just leave this particular oddness alone, maybe.

Judging by how she doesn’t bring up his eyes, even if she is staring at them, as they go for burgers; he’s fairly certain he’s in the clear. Just have to avoid any slightly ectoplasm tinted glass lens in the basement from here on in.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #dannymay19 #dannymay #glass #eye exam #danny fenton #oc #maddie fenton #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick

[five-wow]

I have a little crisis going on. My friend saw me checking in on tumblr on my phone a week or so ago and asked me what I was looking at. I told her about H 5-0 and McDanno. She likes gay ships and started watching.When she was finished with season one and had watched the conclusion of the season final she asked me why Danny ditched Rachel in favor of Steve. I told her because he loves him – duh! But I guess she just doesn't feel the vibes for that ship. (1/2)

She told me while she got why maybe Steve would fall for Danny she didn’t understood how Danny could develop feelings for Steve, didn’t even get how they’ve become friends with all the arguing. I know I can’t convince her and I don’t want to.But when I was home again, it got me thinking… and to my sheer horror I nearly came up with nothing (okay, he payed for the dolphin swimming and helped finding Meka’s murderer, was there for the memorial service) but otherwise? (2/2)            

Dear god, I don’t know myself why Danny would fall for Steve. I haven’t watched season 1 in a while. Could you please remember me? Sorry for the Long three part ask. (3/3)             

OKAY SO. Tragically, I haven’t watched season 1 in a while either, because I still haven’t gotten around to that rewatch I keep saying I should probably do, BUT. HOWEVER. YET.

It might be a bit of a mess, but I’m always ready to ramble about why Danny might fall for Steve. This ended up as nearly 2k words, so I’ll put it under a cut:

I think that a crucial first thing to understand is that when Danny yells, it does not necessarily mean he’s genuinely angry. I definitely get how if you do interpret it that way, the entire show could just kind of look like Danny doesn’t even like Steve very much, let alone loves him. Yelling CAN mean he’s angry, and of course it often DOES mean that, but just as often (or perhaps even more) it overwhelmingly means that he cares. Loudly. Right in your face. (There’s a later episode, 3.15, in which Steve does something heroic but stupid and Danny yells at him afterwards and Steve goes, kind of gleefully, “You were worried about me” and Danny says “Worried? No, no, I was worried about my car” but it’s VERY obvious that he’s lying, like, to the point where that’s the whole joke here. There are probably other instances that prove the yelling-Danny-does-not-mean-a-Danny-who-doesn’t-like-you, but this is my favorite because it’s extremely, blindingly obvious, and the narrative actively wants us to see it that way.)

To jump right in with the deep stuff: Steve offered Danny a job and gave him a family and a place in Hawaii and a purpose and the feeling of being useful, and he did it at a time when Danny was living a pretty miserable existence where even after six months he was still being hazed by the other Detectives for being the haole who wears a tie. Danny tells Tani in one of the very early season 8 episodes that Steve has a way of coming into people’s lives at just the right time, and that he did that for everyone on the team, including Danny. Obviously if you’re watching season 1 you can’t know what’s being said in season 8, but it’s just confirmation of stuff that’s definitely there on screen in season 1, too.

Steve is good at his job. Really, really good, and even if his methods are crazy, he ends up helping people. Danny can be shocked at the means and still appreciate the end at he same time.

Steve’s surprisingly smart, too. A bit of a dork sometimes - Steve with that teacup in 1.10? “I like tea.” NERD. (He’s also absolutely saying that to rile Danny up, and essentially that just means he enjoys arguing with Danny which is SO PERFECT for Danny, who can’t stop it even if he tries. More about that later.)

Steve makes Danny laugh. It may sometimes be a laugh borne out of shock, perhaps even anger, but there’s definitely laughter. (Steve also goes along with Danny’s silly banter and smiles about it - Danny’s “you miss me, don’t you?” when Steve is being a super secret spy on the museum ship in 1.07 and Steve’s “yeah, yeah” and “but you don’t swim” are a wonderful example.)

But then, on top of all of that, Steve is also kind. Of course there’s the hotel room with dolphin swimming he gives Danny as an apology after Danny makes it clear that he thinks he deserves one (which, by the way, still make me scream a little, because everything after that one moment ALWAYS portrays Steve as extremely unwilling to spend a lot of money on anything, even gifts, AND because yes, it’s a way to apologize, but it’s also something that immediately shows Steve gets Danny, because it’s not just for Danny, it’s for Grace! it’s for Danny to have fun with Grace), but he also makes a call to the Governor when Danny has issues with Rachel over visitation rights for Grace, and he does it behind Danny’s back. He comes to Meka’s funeral, not because he needs to grieve, but because Danny is grieving. When Grace and Rachel get car-jacked and Danny has to leave suddenly in the middle of a case, Steve’s immediate response is to tell him to call if he needs anything and then look completely thrown for a moment after Danny leaves. tl;dr: Steve CARES, and Danny, a man who is definitely not stupid, knows this. I mean, it’s not like he has to look far to see it anyway - he experiences it, over and over and over again. (And Steve’s there like this for the whole team, not just Danny, but in season 1 it’s definitely mostly Danny, because after Steve he just has the most problems, poor guy.)

(Side note, that episode I mentioned in which Grace and Rachel get car-jacked and Danny rushes to them? 1.16? Later on, Steve is going full camouflage ninja in the forest on his own and then his phone starts buzzing and he sees it’s Danny and the first thing he does after picking up is ask “are Grace and Rachel okay?” and when Danny then asks about the case he goes “don’t worry about that” to calm Danny down, and they end up having a lengthy conversation about Danny’s problem while Steve is panting trying to hold a log in the air for some very important SEAL reason, but he doesn’t complain a single time or even mention that he’s kind of busy. Danny needs him, so he’s available.)

And I mean, obviously, there’s these: “Maybe you’re not as alone around here as you think, Danno.” “I know you.” “I picked you, didn’t I?”

If I can just circle back around to something we’ve sort of covered: Danny yells a lot. He has a temper. He gets angry. He doesn’t get along super well with most people, and then along comes Steve, who initially INFURIATES Danny to the point where Danny ends up hitting him after they meet, but instead of getting angry back or holding a grudge, Steve is impressed and takes it in stride and still wants Danny to work with him because he sees Danny’s talents, and he doesn’t let himself be intimidated by the attitude. He lets Danny rant and get angry and he argues back but also calms Danny down when needed, and everything we’re shown indicates that he enjoys that dynamic. Essentially, Steve is the ideal partner for Danny, and Steve is also lonely and he’s loyal to a fault and they have a similar sense of humor and their banter flows ridiculously smoothly right from day one and their personalities just click and Steve keeps inviting Danny over for beer and letting him walk into his kitchen unannounced and dragging him into Steve’s classic car for its first test drive, so what do you know? Steve’s also a really great best friend.

Danny says Steve is terrible with kids and then Steve is actually GREAT with Grace. Like, when Danny gets hit with the sarin gas and Steve picks Grace up from school because he knows she’ll be getting out soon and there will be nobody waiting for her? That’s something that you can bet means the world to Danny, because Grace is his world. ALSO, Steve goes to get Grace and deliver her to the hospital personally, even though it’s a ridiculously busy day with two cases to work at once, one of which might lead them to Wo Fat, the killer of Steve’s father, which is Steve’s Huge Tragic Backstory and the thing he’ll usually drop anything else for. Except Grace! (Obviously, if he knew when Grace would need to be picked up and hadn’t done anything about it, that would have been a huge dick move, so you could say he had no choice, but that still means that 1) he knows when and where to pick Grace up in the first place, which shows he cares enough to pay attention to something that he couldn’t have known would ever be relevant until that moment, and 2) he could have sent Chin or Kono or Jenna or Duke or Kamekona or random HPD officers, and he did not do that. He went there in person. He went to get Grace.)

Which leads us neatly here: Steve, a guy with virtually no family left except for one very estranged sister (and an aunt we don’t know about yet and a mother who’s actually still alive, but those can’t really be counted at the end of season 1), is a HUGE FAMILY MAN. What’s Danny’s whole reason for uprooting his life and being miserable five days a week but still feeling it’s totally worth it for those other two days? LOVE OF FAMILY. Danny definitely, 100% can appreciate that quality in other people, and Steve has it, he just had nowhere to direct it for the longest time.

In the same vein, Danny is a True Dad. He sees Steve, this lonely guy who just lost his dad, and in the fandom it’s generally acknowledged that Steve saw Danny and went “yes, this one, I’m keeping this one”, but for all of Danny’s complaining, he also adopted Steve on the spot.Steve needs a Danny so he doesn’t get himself killed (the very first episode immediately hammers this point home really hard), and there’s no way Danny isn’t aware of that on some level.

Also just. Yes, Steve does a lot of things Danny tells him he shouldn’t do. Yes, Steve is an idiot sometimes. But he also listens to the things Danny yells at him, and when it really matters to Danny, he changes his behavior. There’s that apology hotel room, for one, but there’s also that bit in the episode about Meka, Danny’s former partner, where Steve is not entirely convinced that Meka wasn’t a dirty cop even though Danny keeps insisting he can’t have been because he was a good guy, and Danny gets so mad Steve doesn’t believe him that he walks off (“If my word is not good enough for you, then I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he says), so a while later Steve goes after him and he keeps asking questions until he understands what Danny means - you know your partner, you trust your partner, the way Danny trusts Meka is the way Steve trusts Danny and that’s why Danny’s behavior makes sense - and from that point on, he fully has Danny’s back in this crusade to clear Meka’s name, even though there it’s not like there’s suddenly more hard evidence to support it.

So why would Danny ditch Rachel to go chase after Steve? Well, because he knows at that point, no one else might do it, and at least not the unrelenting way Danny will. Because Steve doesn’t have many people and deserves to have someone stick up for him. Because there is zero doubt Steve would do the same thing for him.Because Danny knows that in that moment, Steve needs him more than Rachel does. Because he has to make a choice and he’s inevitably going to regret not being there for one of these people, but apparently, to Danny, getting to Steve is more urgent. Because he’s putting Steve’s needs before his own. Because they’re partners and they’re family and they’re friends and that really, really means something. Because it’s Steve, and he means something.

#mcdanno #* #awesomejesakuthings #ask #talking #season 1

[princeparkersmythe]

The Real Loss → Self Para

Involved → Parker Smythe (& Claire Smith). Location → A Starbucks close by to Ashwood. Time Frame → Sunday, September 24th, at 7:38 PM. Notes → After a difficult week, a conversation with Rachel, and a poorly timed confession to the Ashwood Gossip Blog, Parker makes the mistake of contacting his ex girlfriend Claire Smith. Warnings → Just… all the warnings, I tried to add tw tags but if I leave out anything that you think should be included let me know because his ex is really terrible.

Parker had been struggling with how to voice the way he felt for the past few weeks now. Parker had never been one to have trouble dealing with rejection. He’d been performing since he was practically a toddler and even at four years old he’d never had trouble dealing with rejection. If he didn’t get a part he wanted, he just shrugged it off and moved on to the next audition. It had been one of the reasons he’d lasted in this business for so long. But lately, instead of onstage and theatre rejection, he felt as though he were drowning in real life rejection, and that was much more difficult to deal with. There were people who made him feel like they understood so that he didn’t feel so alone throughout it all, Danny, Wendy... and then there were people who made him feel worse about it. 

He tried not to act like it bothered him, he talked about reinventing himself, dying his hair purple, going to parties with Alison, but the whole thing just seemed to make everyone think that he was angry, which wasn’t what Parker wanted anyone to think. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t even really disappointed. He didn’t care about being single or anything like that… or at least, he didn’t care for the reasons that everyone thought that he’d care. It wasn’t about worrying that he’d be alone forever because he’d been out of the closet for almost two months now and he thought a relationship would happen faster than that… he wasn’t stupid. It was that he couldn’t even think about his date with Blaine without hearing Claire in his head telling him Blaine was already ready to leave him and they weren’t even together yet. She’d killed his confidence, which in turn, killed his chances at being with anyone because if he thought so little of himself, why wouldn’t everyone else? 

Then Max Anderson started in on Blaine and everyone rushed to his defense, Parker did his best to do what made Parker... Parker. Blaine didn’t seem to want everyone to be on the attack anyway, so he tried to take the opportunity to figure out why Max acted the way he did. When Rachel actually threatened to fight Max physically, Parker wanted to roll his eyes so hard he could see the inside of his own head. But he did get where she was coming from. She cared about Blaine, and her anger was clouding her judgement. He tried his best to smooth things over, but it just resulted in Rachel getting angry with him for trying to be the peacemaker, accusing him of not caring about Blaine, and the straw that really broke the camel’s back... her final comment that felt as though she had somehow found out about his Claire secret and was just trying to hurt him. He knew that wasn’t the case, but it still hurt. 

It hurt like the extreme loneliness he felt when he watched all the people on campus coupling off in time for the holidays that were coming up too fast. He was happy for everyone, but it just felt like everyone had someone except for him. Claire always said he’d never find someone, that no one would ever love him, and obviously he knew the chances of ending up with a boyfriend so quickly were impossible, but still, how wonderful would he have felt if the girl who constantly told him that he was nothing, that he didn’t matter got the news that he had a date, or a boyfriend, and that he was doing great and super happy without her? But instead, he had to sit there alone, living proof that every single horrible thing Claire said to him was true, and that every single horrible thing she did to him was justified, because he deserved it, he deserved every bad thing she did.

And Rachel Berry thought he didn’t care about someone else being hurt?

At the end of the day, Claire got to laugh because she was right, and Parker got nothing. In fact, he was pretty sure that after his disagreement with Rachel, he really would have nothing. Mason wasn’t going to want to be his friend anymore when he found out Parker had upset his girlfriend. Blaine would probably cancel the date if Rachel told him that Parker “didn’t care”, and if Blaine was gone, Wendy might go too, and if Wendy left, Danny might go with her. Boy, anxiety sure knew how to make every depressing situation even more stressful. Parker was use to being alone, but now that he knew what it felt like to have friends, he didn’t want to lose that. Before Ashwood, performing was the only place that he felt like he belonged, but now that he had friends, they were starting to make him feel that way too. But now he might lose them, and he already felt that loss in performing too. He hated that performing was starting to feel like every other aspect of his life. Performing was his escape. 

He didn’t want to feel like he didn’t matter onstage. His place to get away from being Parker and be someone who mattered was being destroyed. He didn’t want his happy place taken away from him. Performing was all he really had. It was all he’d ever had, and lately he just wasn’t enjoying himself, and if he wasn’t enjoying himself, why was he there? In a moment of weakness and sheer stupidity, he picked up his phone, unblocked a certain phone number, and sent a quick text message. Sighing he grabbed his wallet, sliding it into his pocket after his phone and headed out of his dorm and off campus. As soon as he arrived at Starbucks, he knew he’d made a mistake. What was he thinking, contacting Claire? For what? Because Rachel Berry got him worked up? Because some stupid gossip blog had something to say? Because he was lonely? It was a dumb move, and it was pathetic. He ordered his usual, paying quickly and debating what he was doing for a hot second before rolling his eyes at himself. 

As his emotions calmed and his rational side took over, he heard the voice in his head screaming, get out while you still can and he hurried towards the door. “Well, well, well.” Parker felt his heart stop at the sound of the familiar voice before turning around to face her. “Claire.” he said simply, his free hand coming up to cover to the top of his cup out of instinct. “Long time no see. I was very surprised to get your text since you haven’t answered mine.” Parker leaned against the wall which instantly felt like a mistake. He already felt trapped in a corner, why make it worse? “I blocked your number when I broke up with you.” he stated simply. “Must’ve unblocked it today. Why do you have so much free time to spend contacting me? No more shows?” Parker narrowed his eyes slightly. “I'm the lead in a show right now.” he stated simply “Is that so? Some little college thing everyone gets a part in?” she replied instantly, his stance deflating slightly. “It’s like I always told you when we were together, you might as well give up this whole dream of performing that you’ve got going on, because it’s never going to take you anywhere. You’re just not good enough, you’re not good at anything.”

“Look, I made a mistake contacting you so was there something that you wanted? Because I’m leaving.” he said, sliding his free hand into his pocket without thinking. “Just to remind you of that so that maybe you’ll come to your senses and get back together with me, I mean, who else is going to want to date a loser like you?” she crossed her arms and looked him up and down. “One, I’m gay, so you’re not exactly my type. Two, I’ve got a date this Friday.” he said as she inched her way closer, letting out a laugh. “Man, you must be putting out because I can’t think of any other reason some guy would want to be with you. So how long do you think he’s going to use you to get off before he finds someone good?” she asked. “Shut up, Claire.” he mumbled less confidently than he would’ve liked to. “Oh, so you haven’t really done anything with him yet. Better hurry up before he loses interest, why else would he waste his time with you other than to get off between boyfriends?” 

Parker groaned before taking a sip of his drink. “Oh my God, he’s dating other people too, isn’t he? You don’t have a prayer.” She laughed. “Don’t you have anything better to do than put me down? What makes you think I’d want to date someone like you anyway? I don’t know what I saw in you the first time.” he stated before watching as she gave him a playful, flirty, smile. “You’re the one who texted me, babe.” he looked down at his feet, she had him there. He brought this whole situation on himself. “Come on, Parker, you know I’m just teasing you. Besides, that’s what you love about me, I’m the only person in your life that has the guts to be honest with you. No one else in your life is as real with you as I am, and you need somebody like that. I mean, what do all your so called friends tell you? That they care about you and you’re just so important? You don’t actually believe that, do you? You know they all have someone they’d pick over you, you know I’m right, that’s why you need me.” she stated simply. 

“Let me guess, since we broke up, you came out, no one cared, and now you’ve made a bunch of so called friends who you go out of your way for but they never do the same for you and probably don’t even think or talk about you when you’re not around, you confessed your feelings to someone who didn’t love you back and picked someone else, and now you’ve got another guy pretending to show interest so he can get laid a couple of times before moving on to someone he actually likes. How close did I come to getting it right?” Parker looked down, feeling physically sick, though he wasn’t sure if it was from her words or the fact that he’d been stupid enough to take his hand away from the top of his cup and hadn’t kept his eyes on her the entire time. “Surely, you exaggerated some nonsense about how terrible I was to you to some of your fake friends, but did they make sure that when you were feeling down that you didn’t give me a call or shoot me a text? Did they stick with you or keep an eye on you to make sure you were okay? That you were safe from me? I certainly don’t see them anywhere.” she gave him a sad, innocent look. “Face it, Park, I’m the only person in your life that actually cares about you.”

“I’ve got to go.” he said quickly before grabbing onto the wall to steady himself. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re like this, Parker, you’re going through so much stuff right now. Come with me, I’ll take you back to my place, make sure you’re alright.” Parker set his cup down before shaking his head. “No, I’ve got to get back to-” she cut him off. “Don’t worry about that, Parker, I’m sure no oen has even noticed you’re gone anyway. Just stick with me, I’ll make sure you’re somewhere safe, trust me.” she said as she grabbed his hand. He really didn’t want to go with her, but he didn’t feel well enough to argue with her either. All he could do was hope that he woke up early enough tomorrow to escape away from Claire and make it back to his dorm. Oh well, he was sure no one cared with all they had going on anyway, so what harm could one more night with Claire Smith really do?

#p:trl #para #tw: abuse #tw: violence #tw: drugs #tw: depression #tw: anxiety

[samtheflamingomain]

to care is human

Warning: gruesome descriptions of suicide methods.

So last night I tried to kill myself. Sometimes I wake up knowing it'll be that kind of day, sometimes it creeps up on me. This time was different.

I usually drink a shitload, eat a bunch of sleeping pills and then put a bag over my head and a belt around my neck. It's almost worked a few times, but I usually wake up with a hole in the bag and a terrible headache.

I can't really do that anymore; I can tell it's causing actual brain damage, and I also don't have more than a few sleeping pills at any given time because my psychiatrist instructed the pharmacy to give me my meds weekly.

I was alright until around 4 when I realized I'd be drinking and that it would make a solid week in a row of drinking. Add in the fact that I just put $1200 of cat surgery on my credit card, and by the time I was gulping down an entire bottle of wine in an hour, I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that stress me out. I have no money. I hate working. I have no parents. I can’t stop drinking. I have to start working more hours.

I didn't wait long enough after the wine before going to the bar. It was another few beers before it hit me HARD. It takes A LOT for me to feel drunk; I've gotten used to drinking 10 beers to feel tipsy, so I was surprised to be genuinely drunk. Wanting that to continue, I kept at ‘er.

This is a pretty odd story, and I don't remember everything that happened but here's a self-indulgently-long description of it anyway:

I go to the bar after the wine and have about 8 beers (they have a non-standard "mini-pitcher" you can buy, maybe the equivalent of like 3.5 beers?) and I'm talking to another regular who's been trying to get rid of her last kitten for a while. I've always loved this kitten and have considered taking him in for a while now.

So Fran says, "Hey, wanna come over and see him?" and drunk me was like "Fuck yeah, kitties!"

We take a cab to her place, I ogle some felines, then had to walk home. I'm guessing I left her place at around midnight. Why am I guessing? Wellll...

My phone was dead, as I discovered trying to figure out how to get home from her place. I had no idea where I was.

I live at the edge of a very large neighbourhood with a lot of winding, twisting roads. I walked for hours in the freezing cold, crying, stumbling over drunk. I remember laying in grass at some point(s?) and also concrete.

And I remember far too vividly crawling from the sidewalk out to the road and laying down.

I laid there for what felt like hours, screaming at approaching vehicles, "FUCKING KILL ME!" as I bawled my eyes out. None did. Obviously.

I remember distinctly being stood up by a paramedic and escorted into an ambulance. The first thing I said was, "Great, another $40 I can't afford."

I was barely able to give the paramedics answers. I don't remember getting out or how I ended up sleeping on a hospital bed in the mental illness waiting area.

I was woken up at 4 in the morning by a crisis worker. She said "sounds like you had a bad night?" No fuckin shit.

Well, I'm not new to this rodeo. I don't remember much of what was said, but she discharged me as soon as we were done. I have a horrible, infected scrape on my hand that is putting me out of commission at work for at least a week. I can hardly move my hand or lift anything. They tell me to go to a walk-in-clinic.

Buses don't start till 7 on weekends, so I went for my phone to call an Uber. And that’s when I discovered a shitty Android-shaped hole in my pocket.

That's right, for those of you keeping score at home, that's two, count 'em, TWO phones I've lost in the last 4 months! How will he lose the next one??? Vote NOW!!

Anyway, I call a cab from the hospital, get home at around 5, message my coworkers that I can't come in to work, then pass out till 10, the exact time I was supposed to start work. I fire up the ole' Book of Faces and find that the shift has been covered.

I go buy a new phone and (attempt) to go to a clinic for my hand. Literally every clinic in this city is closed because of the stupid long weekend. I was exhausted so I didn't bother going back to the hospital for a scrape.

Then something weird happened. I realized that people actually care. Let me explain.

I fucked up the schedule at work this week by having to take my cat to the vet on Tuesday. I felt HORRIBLE about missing another shift, especially two in one week, and especially because this time it was my own damn fault.

It gets worse. When I was told that the shift had been covered, I wasn't told that it was being covered by Rob, who closed last night (a 4-12 shift). Running on 3 hours of sleep, he came in at 10 and is still there now. He'll be there till 12 again.

So now I feel even more horrible. Dude is working 22 hours in 2 days because of me*.

*Not quite - I'll get to that in a bit.

Without a phone to call my best friend, I felt very lonely when I got home from the hospital. I was still able to talk to my other friend from the States, though, and this is an important difference.

When I try to kill myself and tell Connor after the fact, he rarely reacts. (If I'm on the phone threatening to do it he's much more involved and often talks me down). But with Danny instead, who was extremely worried, I finally felt like someone actually cared after the fact. 

Everyone will care before because death is scary. Few people care after because living is boring.

Danny wasn't the only one. I didn't realize it at the time because I was still a little out of it but when I told my coworker I wouldn't be able to come in, I told her why. I didn't mean to.

She was so understanding about it, told me not to worry, that I could come in for free food if I wanted.

Then, as I began posting on Facebook about my lovely evening, another coworker messaged me - Rob, the one who is a working machine and could probably work 24/7 if necessary. He said he was on a break at Tim Horton's and I should join him.

Kind of worried at this point; I've bailed on 2 shifts in one week, he's got seniority and I singlehandedly* forced him to work a close-to-open-to-close. *Not really. Again, in a minute. Be patient.

To my surprise we just talked, about what happened, about work, about life. At the end of his break he says to come hang out at work.

The concept of "hanging out" coming together with the concept of "work" had never really made much sense to me because I hate working. But I realized that I hate working, not the work itself, not the place and not the people.

So I go to work and... hang out. I try helping when I can but quickly realize my hand is going to be a problem, probably for a very long time. I can't lift much with it and I have a very limited range of motion; it wasn't just due to the scrape, it was also because I'd used it to break a fall. It's not the worst thing, but it does affect nearly every aspect of making pizzas.

Anyway, I shoot the shit with Alycia and Rob and Lily and nobody's mad at me and the store's a mess but it doesn't matter. *And that's when I'm told that 4 people are out of town, and the other morning person wouldn't message back or pick up the phone all day.* It wasn't completely my fault, so I felt a little better.

Then a few things happened.

First, Anthony showed up for his shift at 4. I really like Anthony: he's a hard worker, nice, funny and a little awkward in the same way that I am. Unfortunately, he only works one night a week, and I've only worked with him twice. He talks with Rob as they count the till and I assume Rob's telling him the reason the dough still hasn't been finished at 4pm (me).

Well, he didn't. I take my glove and bandage off my hand to redo it and he goes "Damn, what happened?" I say, "From last night."

"What happened last night?" 

I kind of stare at him for a minute. "Didn't Rob tell you?"

"No, what?"

"I tried to kill myself."

His face falls. I can tell he's starting to wear his awkward face. Many people react differently to this news based on relationship level and experience. When I told Danny, one of my closest friends, he was worried and upset. When I told Anthony, a work acquaintance I barely knew, he had a few moments of awkward "No, hey, that's no good, don't do that" before he suddenly opened his arms for a hug.

I'm a bad hugger. I usually just stand there as the other person does all the hugging. This is because my parents would only ever hug me when they were done yelling at me and had forced me to apologize for something I hadn’t done wrong.

I hugged him back, and I almost started crying. It was the first real hug I'd gotten probably in my entire life. By 'real' I mean for the hugger. He did the socially obligatory thing of pretending suicide isn't as serious as it is before he couldn't keep the charade up. That part of the reaction wasn't real. The hug was real.

Anyway. As Anthony arrives, Alycia leaves. As she's waiting by the door for her ride, she says lots of stuff people say to the suicidal, and also indicates that her boyfriend and herself have had their share of mental illness.

Then she tells me that her second cousin commited suicide. She says he did it because he thought no one would care. "It was sixteen years ago and the family has never been the same. People care. We would all care."

I'd heard it a thousand times before but never really believed it, either because it was being said by someone who probably wouldn't care after a week, or because it's said by someone who is socially obliged to at least pretend to care, so I assume they are just pretending.

But between Danny, a close friend but whom I've never met in person, and my coworkers, who, until now, I wouldn't have called friends at all, I feel like I've "realized" that people really do care.

Something I've never really felt before. Thanks, parents.

Anyway, long story, I know, but a happy-ish ending? Who knows. Still pretty fucking depressed but not suicidal. I don’t know if this will prevent me from trying again, but it might, and that’s better than nothing.

Stay Greater.

#suicide tw #mental illness #hospital #friends #sam

[windmilltothestars]

I finally finished the Defenders today!  Time for some spoiler-tastic Scattered Impressions and Questions and Whatnot under the cut.

-K’un-Lun.  We know it’s gone somehow, but has it actually been massacred, or just the portal is inaccessible?  Elektra claims to have killed everyone there, but she might have just been saying that to get Danny riled enough to activate the Iron Fist.  I’d like to think it’s still out there and Danny will be able to go back at some point and talk to his old friends, possibly explain things to them, but who knows?  If he’s taking over vigilantism from Matt, New York’s his priority, and probably still THINKS there’s nothing left there because of Elektra’s claims, even if they WERE false.

-Elektra.  Augh.  I can’t get myself to like her.  I think it’s very noble and and shows great heart and loyalty for Matt to never give up trying to save her and find the good in her, but - I couldn’t see it, man.  Like in the beginning she was totally brainwashed and that was more understandable that he was trying to get her to go back to herself, but when she broke free and still wanted to murder everyone and support the Hand’s goals?  Unless there was lingering brainwashing nonsense, I just gotta say -- Matty, she’s not good for you.  Unclear if she survived, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to her return 

-Murakami was by far my favorite Hand boss.  Not even sure particularly why, just his continual snarky disregard for Alexandra, the fact that he only ever spoke his native Japanese and always tried to fight alone - it showed a kind of endearing pride and independence and arrogance that I found deeply entertaining. He was introduced dissecting a bear he had hunted and killed in hand-to-hand combat for kicks, and he lost pretty much every fight because fought alone people got the drop on him, but I loved him.  He got impaled and had a building fall on him, but with those Hand guys, you never know how much it takes for perma-death, so I can hope he’ll be back.  I felt like he showed a lot more actual personality than his lieutenant, Nobu, even if he got off worse in fights.  The rest of them I could take or leave.  I liked Sowande and Bakuto OK, nothing special, was generally annoyed/creeped out by Alexandra, and would be almost sorry to see Madame Gao go after all this time, as her enigmatic menace has been here since season one of Daredevil.  It’s likelier that she survived that collapse than Murakami, if either did.  

-I know next to nothing about Heroes for Hire or Daughters of the Dragon, but I’m here for them. I thought Luke and Danny’s friendship was gold, and Colleen and Misty were getting there.  I think it’s possible Luke and Jessica will get back together, after that last scene.  Luke and Claire seem solid, like, practically-married solid, and I wouldn’t want to rob either Luke or Claire of one thing going right for them, but - I don’t know, man.  Luke and Jessica are a happily-married superhero family with a child in the comics, I hear.  And that would be adorable.  We shall see, we shall see.  Jess deserves something going right for her, too.  I definitely want Danny to stay with Colleen, though, and not randomly get paired with Misty in the name of comics-accuracy.  She seemed so much older than him, and his dynamic with Colleen is sweet and solid.

-On the other hand, I could consider Jess with Matt, and their snarky frienship was really entertaining and refreshing.  I think ultimately I prefer them as just friends as well, but of course that’s what I used to say (and sometimes still do) about Matt and Karen.  I would definitely have to use the ship name “Mess” for them, and there dynamic was fun and sweet in that after a fashion, they stopped judging each other and worked as respectful team unit, with more affectionate banter.  But nah, I’ll hold out wild crazy out-there longshot hope that Matt gets together with Natasha Romanoff, just because.  I need to stop with my internal shipping wars because it’s going to get silly, and I’ll probably revert back to my lingering sentiment for season one Matt with Claire and Karen with Foggy, which opens up more messes with Luke and Marci and things, so -- let’s end this.

-Matt’s not dead, but his friends think he’s dead and he’s probably going to meet his mother, and season 3 is being hinted to cover the famous arc of “Born Again” - which I have not read, but intend to, and know a bit of the gist of.  I REALLY want Matt to tell his friends he’s not dead as soon as he can, because it would be a jerk move not to, but Punisher season 1 is coming out before Daredevil season 3, and Karen is in Punisher and I can’t really imagine her just getting a call from Matt all “Hey, I’m not dead” when it’s not his show and she’s dealing with other things.  So storytelling timeline-wise, it might be inevitable to postpone, which sucks. Or maybe he lets her know he’s not dead but doesn’t come back to town for a while so she won’t worry about him or mourn for him but she can do whatever she does on Punisher anyway.  Or maybe he can’t access any way to contact his friends for a long time?  Or maybe he has amnesia?  I’m grasping here, I don’t know.  I just don’t want another huge Matt’s Friends Are Justifiably Mad At Him fiasco.  I was SO HAPPY to see how NICE and SUPPORTIVE Foggy was being in Defenders.  He supports him not-Daredevilling and doesn’t judge, and then supports him doing it again when it’s inevitable and necessary, and they HUG and he just wants to HELP him.  Karen confused me and slightly annoyed me in one scene, but hopefully her talk with Trish got her thinking about Matt differently.  If she’s still an ally to Punisher I have faith she will still be one to Matt in the future.

-Stick is dead for realsies it seems.  I’m not gonna lie, I utterly loathed Stick after season 1 of Daredevil, but I was forced with great resistance to gain a measure of extremely grudging respect for him in season 2 and in Defenders.  Even if he was going to kill Danny and ultimately allowed him to be captured.  He joins a troublingly expanding list of MCU characters I initially hated but was later forced to sort-of respect -- along with Yondu, Ward Meachum, Hope Pym -- but the strength of both the dislike and the eventual respect is perhaps strongest with Stick.  Man, what a jerk.  I hate him.  I don’t hate him.  I respect him but still hate him.  I don’t know.  He’s dead.  I’m sure he’s been resigned to his death for most of his life.  Rest in peace, you child-murdering punk. 

- I freaking ADORED the lighting design of the first few episodes where every character and their scene was continually bathed in their theme color -- Red for Matt, blue/purple for Jess, yellow for Luke and green/muted turquoises for Danny. Like, it just did it for me.  I loved the lighting designs with just the symbolism of the red in season one of Daredevil, so the expansion was just beautiful.  Also the revelation that Matt can play the piano a little bit (playing a few chords of the theme tune)?  Man, I gotta do something with that in fic!

-Obviously, you know, out of the Defenders I’m the biggest fan of Daredevil.  I like all of them, but Matt is just my dude.  I’m most defensive of Danny, probably, because he is a puppy and he needs it the most, but they all shone in their respective areas, and their team dynamic was just getting good when it ended.  I wanted them to act as a team MORE, but I suppose this was more of Defenders Assemble and they’ll be more united in future seasons, if those exist.  I wanted to explore different character dynamics, though, between them all.  And the fact that they ALL knew Claire!  We got a lot of Danny and Luke and a lot of Matt and Jessica.  We got a little Jessica and Luke and very little Matt and Danny.  And we got next to no Matt and Luke or Jessica and Danny.  Anyway, they should all eat more meals together and hang out and be friends and have a “Yay we beat the Hand” party but I don’t suppose that will happen now they all think Matt’s dead.

-It was crazy, sometimes-disturbing action-packed, snarky ride, but I had a lot fun with it.  I was obsessed with it, really, and chafed at waiting for the next episode with my parents, so impatient and hungry for it I spoiled most of the major plot points for myself beforehand.  But ah well.  It was still awesome to see how it came together.  If you count how many time I mentioned season one of Daredevil here, you can probably tell I still love it the best of all the Marvel Netflix things, but Defenders was full of heart and soul and humor and worth every second.

#defenders spoilers #opinions #the defenders #personal #long post #mcu