#even if I ignore all that objective actions in the film everyone is free to interpret diegetic factors and build their own opinions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iamnmbr3 · 3 years

Note

i’m literally waiting in the lgbt rep in the loki show & the “visibility” of black women in pivotal roles on it as advertised in interviews cause rn i’m just seeing white lady better than everyone syndrome show

This is a great ask and I have several thoughts on this so buckle up guys, gals, and pals bc this is going to get long. Here’s the thing. Visibility does not equal good representation. Disney seems to have forgotten that the FRAMING matters the most of all. And boy oh boy does the show fail on that front.

“The Birth of a Nation” is a famous pro-KKK film from 1915 which is still influential today in some white nationalist circles. This film actually has a lot of black characters. Many of those black characters are portrayed by white actors in blackface, but let’s ignore that issue for a second and pretend that they hired only black actors for those roles. Guess what? That still wouldn’t make the film progressive or have it count as good representation in any way. Why? Well because the film is repugnant, racist propaganda. The point of having black characters in the film is to demonstrate to audiences that they are inherently inferior, unintelligent, sexually aggressive and violent and that the “heroic” KKK is needed to defend against them. This is one of the most famous racist films of all time and a lot of the ideas represented in it are still problems today. Just having black characters in the film doesn’t mean that it counts as good representation or is some victory of progressivism.

Similarly Jewish characters figure very prominently in a lot of Nazi films. These characters aren’t implied to be Jewish or Jewish coded or whatever. They are explicitly Jewish. Diversity win right? Not so much! Because again, FRAMING MATTERS. The Nazis put Jewish characters into their films in order to portray them as greedy, conniving, cowardly, selfish, violent, and dangerous and to show why they were supposedly a blight on German society and needed to be exterminated. So again. Just having Jewish characters who are “visible” doesn’t mean the films aren’t horrifically bigoted and harmful and the very opposite of good representation.

Now let’s get back to the Loki Series and the way it claims to be progressive and throws around “representation” like a buzzword when it has absolutely no right to be doing so. There are several black women in the cast whose characters are in positions of power. That’s true. However, their characters are not granted much focus. They don’t have much depth or complexity. We don’t really know much about their flaws or vulnerabilities. Why does that matter? Because that’s what HUMANIZES a character. These characters are treated more as cardboard cutouts than as humans.

But it gets A LOT worse than that. My biggest issue is that these characters are extremely complicit in the actions of the TVA - a violent, genocidal, fascistic, policing organization that regularly commits acts of torture, enslavement, and violation of due process and that is trying to eliminate free will. Now I’m not saying you cannot have black characters who are villains. Of course you can. No group of people are a monolith and acting like any group is just uniformly pure and perfect is very insulting and infantilizing. However, if you had a movie with all black female characters and the only white males were members of a fascistic policing organization it would certainly feel like the narrative was saying something with that, and the opposite is also true.

But it still gets EVEN WORSE. Because the TVA despite being objectively evil (yes they are. there is no excuse for torture and slavery and anybody coming into my replies to defend such heinous acts needs to go study their history bc I shouldn’t have to argue with you about this) is hero coded. We’re supposed to laugh at their treatment of Loki and think it’s justified. It’s not. Full stop. They torture him and they enslave him. THAT ISN’T OK. But it’s treated as a joke. And the characters who are complicit in it are absolved of their involvement.

Even the ones who later turn against the TVA somewhat don’t feel any guilt about what they have been involved in, because according to the narrative they never did anything so terrible. B-15 gets her memories back and her focus is on herself - “I was happy” rather than on all the people she victimized while she wasn’t in her right mind. Because the narrative wants us to forget about that and think the TVA is mostly alright really. We know this because Loki views Mobius as a friend despite the fact that Mobius has never treated him as a friend - he has tortured him, mocked him, humiliated him, and enslaved him. And the narrative says it’s ok.

And I can’t help feel that the writer - Mike Waldron - is using these black characters to try to insulate the TVA from criticism and push his vile pro authoritarian narrative. It is worth noting that Mike Waldron is white and male. Now I am not at ALL saying that white men cannot write characters who are female or black or any other group they don’t belong to so no one put words in my mouth. They can and they should. But they should do so responsibly (just like writers should depict trauma responsibly etc). And Mike doesn’t seem to be doing so responsibly.

Now I don’t know whether Mike has sympathies with rightwing ideologies, but one of the things I’ve studied irl is rightwing extremism, and some things he has said certainly make me think that he might. The way he writes “representation” in his stories also feels like a bigot’s idea of “what liberals want.” Like how the women are these empty badasses with no personality who demean and mistreat the male characters.

Mike once made a very telling comment about how the show is great because Loki spends a lot of time “under the thumb of strong black women” and to me that is indicative of his world view. He seems to view the idea of racial justice and racial equality as inherently violent and oppressive. When that isn’t the point at all. Equality, whether between genders or races etc isn’t about supremacy. It’s about...EQUALITY! Making sure that everyone is treated fairly. It’s not about switching who the oppressor is. It’s about liberating everyone. It’s like when people say “Well don’t all lives matter?” in response to “Black Lives Matter.” Of course they do. That’s the point of Black Lives Matter. It’s to make sure that all lives do matter - including black lives! It’s not about saying that only black lives matter. It’s about making sure that black and brown lives matter too. Mike’s viewpoint seems to be consistent with rightwing scare tactics about how diversity and racial equality will lead to “white replacement” or “white genocide” or various other conspiracies where white people end up being killed or oppressed. And that seems to have carried over into his work. The black characters are all in positions of power and use that power in ways that are abusive.

But more pernicious still is the fact that I feel like he’s using black characters to prop up his fascistic policing organization and insulate it from criticism. I feel like he’s the conservative who thinks he can “outsmart” the the liberals by being like ‘see. I made the fascistic police black so no one can criticize them now haha im so clever.’ And no Mike. It doesn’t work like that because this is fiction and YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT THAT WAY. You are the one who chose to have the only black women characters be abusive authority figures. And guess what? Someone who uses their power to abuse and enslave and torture is evil no matter what race they are. And as I said before it’s fine to have villains who aren’t white, but why are these the only prominent black female characters? “People complicit in police brutality and enslavement of others” is not good representation and it’s also really tone deaf. And it doesn’t at all excuse the pro-abuse, pro-torture, pro-authoritarian messaging of the show. It just makes it worse because he is trying to call it good representation and using the inclusion of these black characters to try to achieve his agenda.

I could say a lot more about this but I also want to talk about the queer representation. Because wow, is it not good. Again, framing matters. Just like “The Birth of a Nation” isn’t progressive just because not all the characters are white, the Loki Series isn’t progressive just because not all the characters are straight. In fact it’s the opposite of progressive. The queer “representation” feels straight out of bigoted propaganda. It’s honestly frightening how viciously cruel it is. Loki’s personality traits have been retconned to map onto harmful stereotypes about queer men. He is overly expressive, makes grand gestures, is flamboyant, cowardly, dishonest, weak, bad at fighting, lazy, spineless, meek, unused to exercise etc. Now a person could be all these things and also happen to be queer. However, Loki was never like this before. His character was retconned to be this way only in this series where he is confirmed to be queer.

Furthermore, the entire premise of the series seems to be that it is funny and entertaining and justified when Loki is dehumanized, mocked, humiliated, hurt, tortured, beaten, assaulted, and/or robbed of his dignity. That’s the premise. That’s the whole show. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT PROGRESSIVE?!?! No really. I want Mike to explain the joke to me. Because the joke can’t be “it’s funny when people get hit in the face” because that sort of thing isn’t routinely happening to Mobius or to other characters. It’s only happening to Loki who is coded as the Other in many different ways and who has been confirmed to be a queer man.

So why is it ok when it happens to him? Why is it funny? Why is the point of him being stripped naked not that this is a horrible violation but that it’s funny that he’s scared? Why is him being repeatedly kicked in the groin (and btw that kind of sexual violence has commonly been used against queer men) supposed to be funny? Why are we supposed to jeer and glory in his degradation and think he deserves it? Because I'm not getting it Mike. Explain the joke to me. I dare you.

In fact I dare Mike to explain how any of the show is progressive or counts as good representation. Yes sure the show has female characters and black female characters and queer characters. But that’s not enough. The FRAMING matters. So c’mon Mike. Don't just tell me what kinds of identities you included in your show. Explain to me why they occupy the roles they do.

I dare you.

#cw discussion of racism #cw reference to police brutality #asks #cw discussion of bigotry #loki tv series #loki series #loki show #loki 2021 #loki tv show #cw bigotry #cw reference to homophobia #cw reference to assault #Marvel #MCU #my post

374 notes · View notes

itsbeaconhillsbaby · 3 years

Text

a luminous love || tom holland x reader

a/n: I feel like I should apologise for the length of this. I was not intending for it to be as long as it’s ended up, but I hope that doesn't put anyone off! there is also a follow up of this planned: the subsequent road-trip. both are definitely stand alone’s but there will be a few casual nods to this fic throughout. i’m thinking of doing a couple shorter blurb style fics as these longer ones take up a bit more time to plan and write. also looking to delve into my angsty side after doing so many slice of life, fluff pieces. let me know what you think, thank you all for reading and being amazing as always! come chat! x

word count: 2556 warnings: alcohol use summary: its the annual summer BBQ extravaganza at the holland household

The patio doors were wide open, folded in on themselves as shimmering golden sunlight enveloped the kitchen. Sunbeams glinted off the mirrors and glass surfaces, rainbows dancing around the open space. Light music was playing from a portable speaker, the birds chirping along to the soothing tones. You could hear voices all talking over one another, loud laughter and a dog barking. From your position in the hallway you could see people sheltering in the shaded kitchen from the sweltering heat that was London on a glorious summer day. Bodies filtered in and out through the large open space, congregating both inside and out. You felt a gentle squeeze of your hand. Taking your eyes off the crowded room and glancing up, you saw tom had rested his bag in the hallway, and was waiting for you to do the same. “You okay?” he asked, as you stepped out of your trance and copied Tom’s actions, “It’s only the family, you’ve met them before - and a couple family friends...” he trailed off. “Oh.No, I’m excited I promise!” you reassured him. Tom grasped your shoulders, spinning you round slightly so you were standing directly in front of him, your bodies touching. His smile widened, pressing a feather light kiss to the top of your head, “I got you.” You leaned into the kiss, closing your eyes quickly as you soaked up the closeness. You picked up the discarded gift bag, lost in amongst the jumble of things you and Tom had brought in for your quick stay at the Holland household. He entwined your fingers together, rubbing the back of your hand slightly with his thumb before jerking his head questioningly, ready to face the onslaught? you nodded, grinning. Pulling him in close beside you, he stretched his entwined hand across the back of your neck and up over your shoulder casually. “You weren’t having a summer Holland BBQ without your favourite, right?!” he bellows, as you both appear in the kitchen entry way. A myriad of eyes darted over to the pair of you, everything stilling for a millisecond. Even Tessa dropped her ball. Then the place erupted. “Oh honey!” “Ayy, about time guys.” “Favourite? yeah right!” “Only in your dreams you div.” “Oh look who he brought!! Thank god, I needed someone to talk about...” “My favourite non-Holland!” The cacophony of voices echoed around the room, people whooping and hollering before finishing their previous conversations. With another light squeeze, you feel the weight of Tom’s arm disappear from around you. His fingers ghosted across your back before he was hugging his brothers, pulling out high fives and fist bumps. You found yourself immediately enveloped into a perfume filled, soft hug, Nikki running a hand through your hair complimenting the slightly lighter colouring, “- I’m so glad you could both make it! I was worried you’d miss out what with your trip but it looks like we were just in time.” You were heading on a road-trip up to Scotland to visit your family since Tom had some proper free time off work, him wanting to drive and explore some pretty hidden routes with you. You’d decided to stop off for a night at his family’s house before heading off the next again morning. “We wouldn’t miss it! Yearly tradition and all, also it’s just a wee thing but please just accept it no questions.” Nikki pulls a face at the gift bag, “You don’t have to do that, you’re family - no need for gifts!” You can feel yourself falling into a grin at the comment before thanking her for letting you stay the night and for the amazing spread. You hear the pitter patter of tiny feet on the tiled floor, before your four-legged friend jumped up on her hind legs, tail thumping the ground and front legs pawing at yours. “Oh hi baby, hi Tess!” you coo softly, kneeling on one knee to stretch behind her ear and rub her belly as she continued to hop on her back legs, her tongue sticking out to lick your face. Her ears suddenly pricked at a whistle, and both your heads turned as she noticed Tom - immediately forgetting about you and bounding over to him. He sticks his tongue out at you menacingly. You rolled your eyes, grinning as you stand back up again. Nikki leading you to a group of people gathered around the island, “Anyway! Let’s get you a drink and introduce you to some friends! Tell us how you’ve been, it’s been so long.” //// You were laughing with the twins, watching Paddy show some of his new football tricks. Tessa was trying to get in on the action, pink tongue hanging out as she ran around you all. You’d already been handed plenty of drink, a table set up in the corner of the kitchen with every kind of spirit laid out for guests to help themselves to. Massive beer crates were stacked next to the fridge, clearly on a rotation. You had met and talked with so many family friends already, before the groups dispersed and you were waved over by some familiar faces. The boys were taking up a whole section of the garden with their games. Far away from the BBQ and food, as directed by Dom. “What do you say to a game of beer pong?” Harry asked you, shaking out some of the curls that were beginning to stick to his forehead in the sweltering sunshine, “Bet a tenner I’ll sink you.” You laugh, smirking, “Alright kids, you’re on!” He groaned, “I hate that nickname, you’re older than us by literally two months!” Paddy acts as referee as you and Sam pair up against Harry and Harrison who were already squabbling about each other’s techniques. As you watched your last shot dive into the cup, bopping about slightly, you cheer loudly. The competition, beer drinking and sun already heating up your cheeks, staining them pink. You hug Sam in celebration and made a beeline to Harrison for a commiseration’s handshake-turned-hug, hearing Harry to have it out with his twin next to you. “Cough up, bro.” You held out your hand upright as Harry begrudgingly slapped the ten pounds into your hand. You all start laughing as Harry downs the last cup, not before sloshing it all down himself. //// You’re lounging in a deckchair, listening to some childhood stories of the boys until you feel a shadow block your sun. “Hey darling, you alright?” He hands you two platefuls of food before pulling up an empty deckchair beside you. “Hey! So good. Warning I’ve definitely had more than my fair share of your gross beer.” You thank him for the food, pressing a soft and quick kiss to his cheek as he chuckled at you. He had already taken to the sun, his face now painted with a sun kissed glow. You take a minute, swallowing slightly as you take him in. The food plates resting on your lap, he lounges back slightly, a bottle of beer in one hand. Tess immediately jumps into his shorts clad lap, his striped linen shirt was unbuttoned and his dog tags shifted as she lay down, panting and eyes softly blinking in the sun, mouth upturned as if she was smiling. “You look good.” You whisper as you pass across his food, trying to avoid Tess’s eager snout as you did so. He quirks an eyebrow, “Oh really?” he laughs, “How many beers have you had exactly?” “Well, I played beer pong with your brothers...” He nods his head in understanding, smirking at the slight wobble in your voice. “Did you win?” “You bet I did!” The hand that was resting on Tess’s back he instead used to high-five you, laughing as he turned his head in search of his brothers. That same hand now resting on your bare thigh comfortably as his leg leant against yours. “Well, if you’ve got another round in you later...we can beat them again?” You agree enthusiastically, knowing that you’d be at a slight disadvantage seeing as the sun and alcohol was already going to your head, but that Tom would carry your team easily. More people gather round the two of you with their plates of food, engaging in conversation about golf, work, filming etc kindly including you in their conversations as you munched on your food, hoping it would soak up a little bit of the alcohol. You soon found yourselves back indoors, stomachs nice and full, as you took a break from the sun. Tom was leaning back into the arm of the sofa, wrapping his arm around your back and resting it on the opposite side of you, pulling you super close. He was talking animatedly to the man on his left, one of Dominic’s friends that you’d been introduced to earlier. You were fiddling with Toms tags, lightly dragging them back and forth on their chain as he conversed about his latest job. “I found it!” Nikki announced as she made her way over to the sofa, everyone shifting up as she squeezed in-between you and Harrison’s girlfriend, who you’d been chatting with on the opposite side of the couch. Tom groaned. “Not another one mum! I’m surprised you still have any left to show at this point.” Nikki ignored his objections before pulling open the photo album, and immediately you were taken in by the cute small toddler in a variety of places around the house; in the bath, under the christmas tree, in his high chair with chocolate birthday cake all round his face, outside in the grass on a blanket - giant smile plastered across his little face. Tom had rested his chin on your head, peeking over you. His cold tags making your back flinch slightly at the change in temperature. you cooed and laughed along with her as she took you through the book, telling you stories about her eldest, mischievous son. You could feel the vibrations against you as he laughed at different pictures, his mum leaning across to ruffle his hair. “You two would have the cutest kids, I’m just saying-“ Nikki blurted out. Tom groaned and immediately pulls himself and you up off the couch, “-I’m just saying! Tom!” “Oh, here we go! Mum you’re cut off,” he says laughing, guiding you back out into the sunshine, and past the BBQ, “Dad, mums at it again.” Dom sighs, then laughs before heading inside, “What has got into her!” You stifle a giggle, Tom with a hand on either shoulder his body pressed flush against you as he propelled you through the throng of people gathered round a fire pit, and led you back to the beer pong table. “Please ignore everything my mother just said.” You spin around quickly so you’re chest to chest. Bringing a hand up to cup the back of his neck as you pull him down just slightly, whispering in his ear, “Whilst we’re definitely not ready for kids yet, I’m definitely not against some practice in techniques...are you?” He pulls his head back sharply, golden eyes coming to life in the glittering sun. His entire face breaks out into a smile, “You’re such a tease, move it!”

Spinning you back around, he presses you forward brushing your hair behind your shoulder as he sinks some light kisses into the side of your neck, as you both continue towards the beer pong. You pretend to shove him off, his breath tickling your cheek.

“PDA! PDA! Ew, get a room guys!” Paddy jokes, cupping his hand around his mouth and announcing to the garden. “What are you, twelve?! That’s it Pads!” Tom suddenly bounds away from you, leading to a chase as Paddy runs nimbly around the garden; dodging people, chairs, cups and plates - Tom hot on his heels. You burst out laughing, shaking your head as Tom lifted Paddy, chucking him over his shoulder. You sat yourself down on the dry grass, waiting for the boys to finish their play fighting. As you do, you feel a soft body lean itself against you, tail hitting off your legs. “Hey baby,” you murmur, clapping and stoking Tess as she lay belly up in the sun, “Whose a clever girl?” //// “Here.” You sit up, having been lying on the grass since the latest beer pong match which led to copious amounts of drinking games. You’d questioned if the world would stop spinning if you lay down, a chorus of laughter coming from the boys and their friends. Tom passes you a glass of ice-cold water which you gratefully take, before hunkering down next to you himself, sitting with his knees up and his arms clasped around them. You take a couple sips before balancing your cup in the tufts of grass, he opens up one of his arms and you cuddle into him. “Your brothers suck,” you joke, the water chasing away your light headache. He laughs. “Thank you for pushing our trip back to fit this in,” You rest your head on his shoulder and look out at all the people, still having a great time despite the fact the sun was slowly disappearing below the trees. “Tom. Of course, my folks completely understand. I love your family and you don’t always get the time off to see them. What’s one extra day, hm?” He turns his face to look at you and you lift your head off his shoulder. You had a spattering of pink across your cheekbones and nose, your freckles peeking out. Your hair was falling out of its messy half up-do. yes twinkling as you looked up at him through your lashes. His hand brushed against your hair and the side of your face before he tilted your chin upwards and took your mouth in his, brushing his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, letting him press soft clusters of kisses on your nose and cheekbones. You laugh and bring him back to the centre. “I love you,” he announced, taking a breath before kissing you again - you unconsciously reached for the back of his neck to pull yourself in closer. “I love you too.” you sigh, shifting yourself to now lie between Toms’ legs. letting him whisper soothing words into your ears, of all the places you were going to visit on your trip.

“Oi lovebirds,” Harry comes bouncing over to the two of you. Tom leaning back on his elbows as you sit comfortably between his legs, him tightening them around you.

“I took these. Thought you might like them. Who’d of thought? You guys actually look really cute.” You hit his arm, as he dramatically yelps and rubs at the attacked area.

He held out the polaroid’s as Tom balanced on one elbow, shifting his weight to the left as he reached out and took the pictures.

“These are actually sick Haz, thanks bro!” He shifts back, sitting up with your back pressed flush to his stomach as he brought his arms round for you both to look at the small collection of photographs Harry had taken throughout the day.

You smile wide at the joy and love plastered on your faces, a tiny miniature you beaming up at your goofy boyfriend squinting in the sunlight. You feel Tom’s arms wrap around you tighter. breathing each other in, you feel him relax behind you, you trace patterns along his sun kissed skin with your fingers as the sun begins to paint the sky in gorgeous oranges and pinks.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #definitely inspired by the nice weather we've been having #lisa writes

255 notes · View notes

scintillatingshortgirl19 · 3 years

Note

"when did Loki betray his father? When did Loki betray his home"

Both times he lead the frost giants into Asgard. You can pin the second time on him feeling betrayed himself, which still doesn't justify, but the first one? On what, him feeling overshadowed?

I love Loki and I wish canon would recognize his trauma more and do it better justice but I'm also not going to ignore the horrible things he's done just because horrible things were done to him too.

Hi anon - The thing is, I'd pretty confidently argue that neither of those times can be considered betraying Asgard. The first time was, at worst, a prank born from jealousy which would've done minimal damage (Loki knew the Jotuns would go directly to the casket and that the destroyer would take care of them immediately), and at best was to keep Thor from taking the throne for a while. I think it's reasonable to assume it's a combination of both, and either way, Thor becoming king at that time would have been absolutely disastrous for Asgard and probably for a lot of other realms as well. So even if one wants to go with the least charitable interpretation of Loki's intent, the result of the first time was him saving Asgard from an unfit ruler, and either way it wasn't a betrayal of Asgard. I guess you could almost argue he betrayed Odin in that moment, since Odin wanted Thor to be king - but I don't see how that would count, because that was an objectively terrible decision on Odin's part so Loki's prevention of that wasn't really a "betrayal." The purpose of the second time was entirely for Loki to kill Laufey - again, technically saving Asgard. Loki's goals in letting the Jotuns into Asgard the second time were to 1) prove his worthiness to Odin by orchestrating a situation in which Loki would save his life, and 2) Kill Laufey and destroy Jotunheim. It's important to remember that by the second time Loki let the Jotuns in, Thor had already started the war. The war was going to happen, a lot of Asgardians were going to die, and Odin was incapacitated. So by killing the Jotuns' king, Loki technically saved Asgard that time too. Both of the times Loki let the Jotuns in were setups for the Jotuns to fail - they weren't Loki betraying Asgard. The only realm Loki betrayed in Thor 1 was Jotunheim (and I'm not excusing that or saying it was ok - genocide is bad, kids - but we're just talking about betrayal as it relates to Asgard here).

About the second part of your ask - yes, I agree with you that Loki's done horrible things (note what I said a few paragraphs later in the post you're referencing in which I praised the fact that Loki took responsibility for his mistakes). You'll find most Loki fans hold the same views I do about Loki's actions - and we've been dealing with the assumption that we think he's perfect for a long, long time. Of course Loki has done bad things, and it's very tiresome to be told over and over again that we act like he hasn't when most of us have never claimed anything of the sort. I don't want to spend too much energy going into this, but what Loki fans have a problem with is the fact that Loki's motives are constantly misunderstood, zero weight is given to his background and how he was raised, his trauma has never been addressed, the genuinely good things Loki has done (and the way they point to Loki's default state actually being good) are completely ignored, and people often have double standards when discussing the actions of villains and heroes in general. Loki fans don't need to talk about the bad things Loki has done - everyone else already does that. The narratives already do that. And honestly, just as a long-time villain fan in general, I don't feel obligated to give a disclaimer about how I understand a character has done bad things every time I want to talk about that character.

There's nothing wrong with considering the reasons that a character has done bad things, or the bad things that were done to them, and a fan talking a lot about a villain's trauma does not mean that fan thinks the trauma excuses the villain's actions. Giving weight to the situations the character was in - and expecting the narrative to be honest about whether or not a character has actually done all the things they're being blamed for - does not equal excusing those things. And I touched on this a second ago, but something I think about a lot is the pretty rampant hypocrisy that happens in the way people talk about hero-coded vs villain-coded characters. Interestingly, as much as the wider Marvel fandom talks about how terrible Loki is, they don't seem to have much of an issue with Odin's racist indoctrination of his children (and psychological abuse of pitting them against each other) or the fact that Thor attempted genocide at the beginning of that film, despite the fact that neither of those characters have attempted to make any reparations for those actions - because the narrative more or less ignores this while vilifying Loki for one of those same things (I'm not saying Odin and Thor should be held accountable while Loki isn't, but fans should be allowed to take issue with the massive double standard).

I hope this didn't come across as rude, anon - I just wanted to give as straight an answer as possible and attempt to express where I'm coming from. And if I misunderstood any part of your ask, please feel free to let me know.

#and sorry for the essay whoops #i was going to respond in like a paragraph but i am wordy af #tis just who i am #asks #thor 2011 #loki tv series

26 notes · View notes

blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years

Text

Anonymous asked: I really enjoy your erudite and literary posts about James Bond in your blog very much. Your most recent post about Connery as best cinematic Bond and Dalton as the best literary Bond was brilliant. Although the PC brigade have been inching towards making Bond a woman or even non-white, Ian Fleming’s legacy of a suave but cold hearted English gentleman spy hasn’t been completely trashed. As someone familiar with Fleming literary lore can you also tell me where was James Bond educated? Was it Oxford or Cambridge? I was having a discussion over Zoom with friends and the Oxonians like myself thought it was Oxford because in Casino Royale with Daniel Craig it’s made very plain it was Oxford. Your thoughts?

I appreciate your kind words about my posts on James Bond and his creator Ian Fleming. It’s very hard to ignore the cinematic James Bond because he is very much an icon of our modern culture that needs no translation to transcend across cultures. Alongside Sherlock Holmes, another British literary and cinematic export, the name alone speak for itself.

James Bond appeals to both genders very well.

For the men, Bond dresses well and lives in a care free way. He is both ferociously intelligent and resourceful to get out of any tight corner. He drives incredible cars (from the incredibly stylish Aston Martin DB5 to the incredibly awful AMC Hornet) and uses awesome technology (he is the archetypal boy with toys). He's not afraid to get down in the dirt to fight or engage in lethal gun-play and spectacular car chases. He sleeps with beautiful women, regardless how strong and independent they are (or even lesbian if we’re being honest about Pussy Galore).

For us ladies, while he's not averse to action, he's also a cultured gentleman with suave and sophisticated manners. He's also a generally pretty good looking guy. In many ways, he's a conventional male ideal. So while his conventional good looks and manners aren't for everyone, they hit right the sweet spot of what women like. For everyone, he's a spy! Not at a grey real world nondescript spy, but a cool spy fighting larger than life bad guys whose bland sartorial choices scream mad super villain. It's a very black and white world that James Bond lives in. These bad guys truly are villainous in the desire to re-order humanity, and we need a debonair British MI6 agent to save us from these mad men who want to harm us by laying waste to a bonkers Armageddon.

When all is said and done I think that what makes James Bond so iconic across gender and generations is what Raymond Chandler wrote back in 1959, “every man wants to be James Bond and every woman wants to be with him”.

That sounds about right. Men want to be him, women want to be with him.

I know my first introduction to James Bond was through my grandfather on my Anglo-Scots father’s side who was a dashing gentleman in his day with a long rumoured hush hush work for Her Majesty’s government firmly shoved under the carpet to avoid further discussion that he - being self-effacing and humble - would find embarrassing that would paint him in any heroic light. Years later he had bought his Bahamas beach pile in Harbour Island out in the Caribbean for the family to rest up from cold winters in Britain. Amongst his immense stack of books dotted around the place were (and still are) first editions of Flemings novels which a few were signed by the author as he on occasion met Ian Fleming when he would sail over to Jamaica (they were also OEs which helped). We were not allowed to touch these but instead picked up the dog earred paperbacks that still retained their 60s musty smell.

On my teen sojourns there I would spend time along with my siblings just reading anything we could find to take to the beach or lounge around in a hammock or a chaise longue. That’s how I came to read the Fleming books - really out of necessity to avoid boredom on a beach (which isn’t really my thing as I prefer the rugged outdoors). But I was pleasantly surprised how well written the books were and I actually enjoyed the stories; it was a refreshing change from the more heavy literary tomes I was trying hard to wade through. As for the Bond films, I watched them on film nights at boarding school; I remember having a school girl crush on Connery, Dalton, and Brosnan.

There are many reasons for the successful longevity of James Bond in popular culture and literature but perhaps one of the most pertinent to our discussion is that James Bond is actually a blank slate and therefore malleable as a character and so he can capture the current zeitgeist in time.

This ability of the film to adapt to different generations while remaining relevant is an important factor for its longevity. For example, the early James Bond films were unashamedly sexist with characters using women as objects and discarding them. In the most recent James Bond films, certainly starting with Timothy Dalton, there is a subtle change in attitude with a few chauvinist attitudes.

James Bond today is more serious, seduces fewer women, and is more respectful towards women in his life, including his boss. This shows how the film changes concerning the rise of feminism in the West. For example, Miss Moneypenny used to be a minor character in the very first James Bond films. Today, she is more formidable and doesn’t tolerate sexist remarks.

Perhaps it is precisely because of this blank slate malleability that has allowed different actors that have been cast to play James Bond their own way - rather than get a straight like for like Scottish sounding actor to replacing Connery for example the film producers went across to Moore via Lazenby for example - and letting each actor imbue the super spy with different moods. They each added their own colour from the same broad palate to create different tones. However, each of these characters maintained the essential character that defines James Bond. The actors have broadly stayed true to the inherent mix of character and class associated with James Bond.

For this reason I have some empathy towards your concern that Bond would be held hostage to the current zeitgeist of white washing or genderising everything so as to avoid being a victim of cancel culture. But it’s only empathy because I feel there is a danger of misunderstanding just who James Bond is and what he represents.

What do I mean by this?

I mentioned James Bond is a malleable character to the point he’s presented as a blank slate. This is ‘literally’ true - certainly as far as the books go. Ian Fleming doesn’t tell us much about Bond other than his appearance in his books. Indeed - as I mentioned in my past blog post on Connery as the best Bond - Fleming wasn’t convinced by Connery as Bond. He was reported to have said, ‘I’m looking for Commander Bond and not an overgrown stuntman’ and even dismissed Connery as “that fucking truck driver”. Fleming has good reason to rage. His Bond as written in the books was someone like him.

Like Fleming, Bond was an Eton educated Englishman; an officer and a (rogue) gentleman who was a lieutenant-commander in Naval Intelligence. As Connery began to wow and win over Fleming as Bond, Fleming had a change of heart. Fleming in his later Bond books re-wrote a half-Scottish ancestry for Bond as a tribute to Connery’s portrayal. Bond’s Scottish father was a Royal Navy captain and later an arms dealer, Andrew Bond from Glencoe; and his mother, Monique Delacroix, was Swiss from an industrial family. Bond himself was born in Zurich. Bond isn’t English at all but half-Scots and half-Swiss according to literary canon.

So I mention this because the question who can play James Bond is not as straight forward as it might seem.

But clearly we now have a canon of work, both cinematically and in the literature, where we have base line of who Bond is - or what audiences could possibly suspend their disbelief and go with what is presented to them as James Bond.

I do vaguely remember the hullabaloo and hand wringing around Daniel Craig playing Bond because he didn’t conform to the traditional tall, dark, and handsome trope of James Bond super suave spy. People couldn’t get past his blond hair. Some still can’t. But in my humble opinion he has been an outstanding James Bond and has reimagined Bond in a fresh and exciting way. Craig is in fact mining the Fleming books for his characterisation of Bond as a suave, gritty, humourless killer of the books. Dalton got there before him but that’s a moot point. To our current generation Craig has modernised Bond and dusted 007 down from being a relic of the Cold War to being a relevant 21st Century super spy.

Can anyone play James Bond OO7? Yes and no. It’s arguing that two different things are one and the same. They are not. James Bond is separate from OO7.

Can a woman play Jane Bond or a black woman or non-white man play Black Bond? Respectfully, no. That’s not who James Bond is.

James Bond is a flesh and blood character with a specific genealogical history - whether in the books or on the screen. This Bond has literary back story that is canon and makes him who he is. Bond does transcend time - he can’t be 38 years old for over 75 years in the real world - but at the same time his character only makes sense when rooted in a specific historic context we know existed (and still exists) and not some wishy washy make believe fantasy of British society. He’s an Old Etonian and therefore an upper middle class male product of the British establishment that is identifiable in a very British cultural context.

Jane Bond would have to have gone to Cheltenham Ladies College, Benneden, or Roedean I suppose if we are talking about equivalence - but such girls’ boarding schools were not the breeding ground for future spies (more likely they married them or became trusted secretaries in the intelligence services as well as flower arranging in their Anglican parish church).

I believe they are letting in black pupils on bursaries at Eton these days to be more inclusive but again it’s an an exception not the rule and Eton doesn’t even get public credit for the inclusive work they try to do because it’s not well known.

Moreover we know Bond loses his Scottish-Swiss parents in a skiing accident. I don’t mean to sound racist but I ski a lot in Switzerland and I can say you don’t really find droves of non-white skiers on the slopes of Verbier or Zermatt. Of course there are a few but it’s the exception and not the norm. Again, I’m not trying to be racist but just point out some obvious things when it pertains to the credibility of character that underlines who Bond is. You pull one thread out of the literary biography and the danger is the rest of the tapestry will unravel.

Of course one could try and go for a Black Bond on screen and then hope there is a huge suspension of belief on the part of the audience. But I suspect it’s a bridge too far. It just doesn’t fit. Audiences around the world have an image of who Bond is - British at the very least but also male (damaged and flawed in many ways) and coming from a specific British social class background that serves as an entree to a closed world of English gentleman clubs, Savile Row, English sports cars, and the hushed corridors of Whitehall.

Any woke film maker with an ounce of creative vision and talent and one who is invested in this would be better off creating a new character entirely - with their own specific biography that is both believable and relatable. Can you imagine an American James Bond? What a ghastly thought. Or worse a Canadian one? Canadians are far too nice and far too apologetic to produce a cruel cold eyed killer. But look what clever film makers like Spielberg and Lucas did with Indiana Jones and even later Doug Liman did with Jason Bourne - both fantastic creations that are part of the cultural zeitgeist now.

Or look at Charlize Theron who plays a MI6/CIA/KGB triple agent in Atomic Blonde or Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa Faust in any of the Mission Impossible movies. I would eagerly watch any movies with these two badass women on the screen. All this talk about making Bond a woman or even coloured is just lazy thinking at best and at worst kow towing to the populist tides of PC brigade.

But I firmly believe one can have a female and a person of colour portraying 007. This is because James Bond and OO7 are two different things entirely. Many mistakenly believe 007 is Bond’s own code name and specific alias to him alone.

007 is a license to kill for a very specialised kind of intelligence officer. Bond has that privilege for as long as he serves at the service of Her Majesty’s pleasure. His 007 license can be revoked - and it has been in the past Bond films - and he’s back to being a just another desk jockey civil servant in Whitehall. So my point is OO7 is not sacred to Bond’s identity. Bond could continue to be Bond even if M took away his 007 license to kill.

The origins of the Double O title may date to Fleming's wartime service in Naval Intelligence. According to World War Two historian Damien Lewis in his book Churchill's Secret Warriors, agents of the Special Operations Executive (SOE) were given a “0” prefix when they became "zero-rated" upon completion of training in how to kill. As part of his role as assistant to the head of naval intelligence, Rear Admiral John Godfrey (himself the inspiration for M), Fleming acted as liaison to the SOE.

In the novel Moonraker it’s established that the section routinely has three agents concurrently; the film series, beginning with Thunderball, establishes the number of OO agents at a minimum of 9. Fleming himself only mentions five OO agents in all. According to Moonraker, James Bond is the most senior of three OO agents; the two others were OO8 and OO11. The three men share an office and a secretary named Loelia Ponsonby. Later novels feature two more OO agents; OO9 is mentioned in Thunderball and OO6 is mentioned in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Other authors have elaborated and expanded upon the OO agents. While they presumably have been sent on dangerous missions as Bond has, little has been revealed about most of them. Several have been named, both by Fleming and other authors, along with passing references to their service records, which suggest that agents are largely recruited (as Bond was) from the British military's special forces.

Interestingly, In the novel You Only Live Twice, Bond was transferred into another branch and given the number 7777, suggesting there was no active agent 007 in that time; he is later reinstated as 007 in the novel The Man with the Golden Gun. As an aside, in Fleming's Moonraker, OO agents face mandatory retirement at 45 years old. However Sebastian Faulks's Devil May Care (an authorised Bond adventure from the Fleming estate and therefore arguably could be considered canon) features M giving Bond a choice of when to retire - which explains why Roger Moore (God bless) went past his sell by date.

In the films the OO section is a discrete area of MI6, whose agents report directly to M, and tend to be sent on special assignments and troubleshooting missions, often involving rogue agents (from Britain or other countries) or situations where an "ordinary" intelligence operation uncovers or reveals terrorist or criminal activity too sensitive to be dealt with using ordinary procedural or legal measures, and where the aforementioned discretionary "licence to kill" is deemed necessary or useful in rectifying the situation.

The World is Not Enough introduces a special insignia for the 00 Section. Bond's fellow OO agents appear receiving briefings in Thunderball and The World Is Not Enough. The latter film shows a woman in one of the 00 chairs. In Thunderball, there are nine chairs for the OO agents; Moneypenny says every 00 agent in Europe has been recalled, not every OO agent in the world. Behind the scenes photos of the film reveal that one of the agents in the chairs is female as well. As with the books, other writers have elaborated and expanded upon the OO agents in the films and in other media.

In GoldenEye, 006 is an alias for Alec Trevelyan; as of 2019, Trevelyan is the only OO agent other than Bond to play a major role in an EON Productions film, with all other appearances either being brief or dialogue references only.

In Casino Royale with Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond, we see in the introduction the tense exchange between Bond and Dryden, a section chief whom Bond has been sent to kill for selling secrets.

James Bond: M really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden. She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets. Dryden: If the theatrics are supposed to scare me, you have the wrong man Bond. If M was so sure I was bent...she'd have sent a Double-O. Benefits of being Section Chief...I would know of anyone being promoted to Double-O status, wouldn't I? Your file shows no kills...and it takes - James Bond: - two. (flashback of Bond fighting Dryden's contact in a bathroom.)

The OO is just a coveted position and nothing to do with who occupies it. Ito use a topical comparative example it’s like a football team in which a new star player would be given an ex-player’s shirt number e.g. Messi wears Number 10 for Argentina which is heavily identified with the late great Maradona. So conceivably there would be no problem having a woman or anyone else play 007. I think it would be an interesting creative choice to have a woman or someone else play OO7 and Bond is out of the service and yet he has to work together with this new OO7 - the creative tension would be a refreshing twist on the canon.

Your question about James Bond’s Oxford or Cambridge education is more easier to answer.

It really depends again which Bond one is talking about. The literary James Bond or the cinematic Bond.

In the Fleming books, James Bond’s didn’t go to Oxford or Cambridge or any of the other great universities of Britain. In the books Bond’s education is not gone into much detail. We know he was raised overseas until he was orphaned at the age of 11 when his parents died in a mountaineering accident near Chamonix in the Alps. He is home schooled for a time by an aunt, Charmain Bond, in the English village of Pett Bottom before being packed off to boarding school at Eton around 12 years old. Bond doesn’t stay long as he gets expelled for playing around with a maid. He is then sent to his father’s boarding school in Scotland, Fettes College.

Bond is then briefly attends the University of Geneva - as Ian Fleming did - before being taught to ski in Kitzbühel. In 1941 Bond joins a branch of what was to become the Ministry of Defence and becomes a lieutenant in the Royal Naval Volunteer Reserve, ending the war as a commander. Bond applies to M for a position within the "Secret Service", part of the HM Civil Service, and rises to the rank of principal officer. And that’s it.

In the cinematic Bond universe things get more complicated and even contentious as you alluded to in your question. It’s never made quite clear which of the two - Oxford or Cambridge - Bond attended because it depends on how much weight you attach to the lines being spoken in each of the films where it is raised.

In Tomorrow Never Dies, Bond is up at Oxford (New College to be exact since his Aston Martin DB5 was parked in the courtyard at the entrance). He is seen bedding a sexy Danish professor, Inga Bergstrom, to brush up on his Danish (to which Moneypenny on the phone retorts ‘You always were a cunning linguist’). But it’s definitely doesn’t mean Bond studied there as an undergraduate.

Casino Royale is the film many think yes, James Bond went to Oxford because it is mentioned by Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) as she sizes up Daniel Craig’s Bond on the train. Here is the full quote as said by Vesper Lynd, “All right... by the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity - hence that chip on your shoulder. And since your first thought about me ran to "orphan," that's what I'd say you are.”

The thing to note is that it’s Vesper Lynd taunting Bond and even then she takes a wide stab by saying ‘Oxford or wherever’ because she doesn’t really know and Bond doesn’t oblige her with an answer.

That whole scene struck me as strange because she’s guessing by the cut of the suit it must be Oxford (or Cambridge). Bond is wearing an Italian suit (Brioni to be specific) and not and English Savile Row one that presumably someone of Bond’s taste and background would be sporting.

A more plausible answer if we are going by the cinematic Bond universe is Cambridge. Indeed it is stated explicitly by Bond himself. Can you guess?

You Only Live Twice which is has the distinction of being the only Bond film (as far as I can tell) from being set in just one country - Japan.

You remember the scene. Lieutenant commander James Bond has just had a briefing with M on board a submarine and is naturally flirting with Moneypenny on his way out. Moneypenny playfully tosses him a Japanese phrase book, saying he might need it.

“You forget,” Bond responds with an expression just short of a smirk as he tosses it back to her, “I took a first in oriental languages at Cambridge.”

So it seems James Bond is a Cambridge man.

A first means - as any British university student would know - first class honours. It’s the highest classification grade one can get in their undergraduate degree ie a ‘first’. Although at Cambridge, like Oxford, you can also get a double first in the part I and part II of the Tripos. Both universities also award first-class honours with distinction, informally known as a ‘Starred First’ (Cambridge) or a ‘Congratulatory First’ (Oxford).

Another oddity is he says ‘oriental languages’ when one got a degree in ‘oriental studies’ at the Oriental Faculty at Cambridge. That is until 2007 when Cambridge bowed to public and student pressure and chose to drop its Oriental Faculty label and instead adopted the name the Faculty of Asian and Middle Eastern Studies. Oxford still hangs on to its name the Faculty of Oriental Studies.

My only reservation about crowing over an Oxonian is how truthful was Bond being with Moneypenny in this scene?

Is this line meant to be taken seriously or ironically? Most people seem to take it seriously, despite much of Connery's dialogue being obviously ironic and playful. Certainly, Bond is shown to have never been to Japan before and is incapable of saying anything in Japanese other than the odd "sayonara" and "arigato." But then again Bond does know the correct temperature sake is meant to be served at. So there’s that.

Or it could be Bond was speaking a half-truth. I know speaking from experience as someone who very nearly read asian languages instead of my eventual choice of Classics that ‘Oriental languages’ at the ex-Oriental faculty in Cambridge can mean many other languages e.g. Sanskrit, Hindi, Farsi, Hebrew, Arabic as well as Korean, Japanese and Chinese. It opens up so many other delicious possibilities for Bond. If he read Arabic then perhaps he’s being deeply ironic with Moneypenny (after all she would have drooled over read his MI6 personnel file).

If you think I’m losing my mind then ponder on the fact it was Roald Dahl who penned the screenplay of You Only Live Twice. Dahl was not above snark. Indeed pretty sure he would have got a starred first in snark at any university.

Of course the most obvious explanation is that it’s plot armour as a way for Bond to just get on with the story by suspending the audience belief. Why wouldn’t Bond know Japanese? He seems to know everything else imaginable.

However if it ever was it’s now become canon as EON - the production company behind the Bond films - have stated officially for the fandom that Bond’s official bio has it that he went to Eton and Cambridge, where he got a first in oriental languages. So that seems settled then.

In hindsight it makes perfect sense that Bond went to Cambridge since historically Cambridge has provided the bulk of the spies not just for Her Majesty’s service but also for the other side, the Russians - the so-called Cambridge Spies of Philby, Maclean, Burgess, Blunt, and Cairncross, and a host of other traitors. We seem to be an equal opportunities employment service.

I’m sorry to disappoint you and other Oxonians that despite what you might think James Bond didn’t attend Oxford. Believe me as a Cantabrigian it gives me no pleasure to say this…..too much.

Thanks for your question.

#ask #question #james bond #bond #film #cinema #ian fleming #oxford #cambridge #oxbridge #university #education #cancel culture #culture #society #britain #british #personal

122 notes · View notes

charincharge · 4 years

Note

give me all the angst “Why are you — saying all these things??? Where did they come from???”rowaelin

AN: You all asked for a Part 2. Be careful what you wish for lol. If you missed Part 1, read it HERE.

There was nothing more exhausting to Aelin than press. She’d spent her whole life acting, but she hadn’t realized the toll of being the star on a film until she was two months into press junkets, barely sleeping, barely eating. Barely functioning. Aelin was a shell of her former self, but no one seemed to notice.

She smiled politely at her costar, Archer, excusing herself to go use the bathroom before their final interview of the day, and locked the door behind her. She pulled out the small baggie of white powder from her purse and poured some onto the sink counter.

Methodically, she cut it up into three lines. Her hands were well practiced at the motion by now. Swipe, swipe, swipe. Push, push, push. The three lines formed quickly, and Aelin leaned over to inhale them with the leftover coffee straw she’d taken from the green room.

The white dust flew up her nose as she inhaled deeply, relishing in the immediate jolt of energy it gave her. She stood up and straightened her dress and ran her fingers through her hair, still dull and lifeless, despite the hours of prep work from her beauty squad.

Her gorgeous eyes, which once sparkled gold and turquoise now fell flat and expressionless, rimmed with red. The effect of snorting a foreign object up her nose, she supposed.

She reapplied her lipstick and smiled. If she squinted hard enough, she almost bought it. Despite the emptiness she felt, Aelin was nothing if not a good actress. She knew all about playing a part, playing pretend. And she knew the consequences of those actions all too well.

A rap at the door signaled that she had overstayed her welcome in the bathroom and that press was waiting for her. Her publicist’s golden eyes narrowed as she took Aelin’s appearance in, and she didn’t even bother to ask before leaning toward Aelin’s face and wiping residual powder from her nose.

“You know, this is only your first leading role. Seems pretty irresponsible to pick up such a costly habit,” Manon said with a frown, but licked the powder from her nail regardless. “Especially one that’ll kill you.”

Aelin rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder, feeling better already. “Who said anything about paying? Arobynn gives it to me for free,” she laughed, sticking her tongue out at the platinum blonde.

Manon paused and raised a blonde eyebrow. “Nothing with Arobynn is free.”

Aelin swallowed back her discomfort at the truth of her publicist’s reasoning. She thought of all the times Arobynn’s hands casually roamed her body with entitled authority, just taking, taking, taking.

“Let me be a cliché, Man.” Aelin smirked, the whorl of cocaine confidence making her feel infallible, for the time being. “You’re only young once.”

. . .

“So, Arobynn Hammel has called you his muse on more than one occasion,” the interviewer began. “Is that a lot of pressure?”

Aelin smiled graciously. She always got this question, and she hated it more and more every time. But at least she was well-practiced in it. “Of course,” she replied automatically. “But, it’s also amazing. Arobynn is such a talent, and to be even a small part of what inspires his vision is incredibly flattering.”

“And that’s all that is? Nothing more going on between you two?” the interview pressed. Aelin’s lips parted, shocked. There was a strict no-relationship question rule to all her press. She was to be solely viewed as a single, unencumbered muse to the director. Per his contract’s directions.

“You don’t have to answer that, Aelin,” Manon cut in, her lips curled into a warning sneer to the reporter. “That’s not on their list of approved questions.”

The reporter held his hands up. “My bad. Just trying to give the audiences the information they want.”

As if on cue, Arobynn appeared in the doorway. His grey eyes shamelessly dragged across Aelin’s low cut dress, and she wished for a moment that she had a sweater. Instead, she smiled graciously back at him. He had threatened to ruin her if she didn’t play nice, and she believed him. And she’d worked too hard and too long to ruin her career this early on.

Her smile faltered as a familiar face appeared next to Arobynn. One that haunted her most private of moments, since he ran out of her trailer six months ago.

Rowan’s mouth was a firm line, narrow and unmoving as he took her in. His pine eyes skirted across her face, then trailed down her body, narrowing with anger the longer he looked at her. Her heart pounded in her chest, wildly thumping. Although she supposed that could her body craving its next fix, too. She hadn’t been prepared to see him until the premiere next month, and his presence was throwing her for a loop.

She didn’t want to talk to him. If she talked to him, she knew she would break down, and she had been doing such a good job of holding herself together.

With a polite smile, she wrapped up the interview and immediately excused herself back to the bathroom, ignoring Manon’s warning glare.

Her white knuckles grasped the side of the sink as she breathed in and out deeply. Her arms shook with the weight of her emotion. That face. She was so not ready to see that face. Ignoring her trembling fingers, she took out the small baggie from her purse again, hoping the methodical motions would help calm her down. Or at least give her the confidence to say hello and seem unaffected.

She knew she’d repulsed him when she kicked him out of her trailer, but she hadn’t realized how much seeing that same horrible expression across his beautiful face would affect her. Six months had changed absolutely nothing.

Aelin leaned down and inhaled a single bump. It didn’t help. It just made the thoughts race faster, her heart pound harder, and her body shudder.

As she pushed the rest of the drugs back into the baggie, there was a loud knock at the door. Aelin cringed. Manon must be really mad at the way she left the interview if she was knocking with that much intensity.

Her shaking hand went to open the door, ready to apologize to her rightfully uptight publicist, but she gasped upon seeing Rowan’s angry face on the other side. She could feel his fury, coming off of him in waves as he took a step into the bathroom with her.

A soft gasp caught itself in her throat, threatening to choke her with the emotions she felt at seeing him this close in so long. Smelling his comforting smell.

“Aelin,” he said, almost as a sigh, as his anger faltered for a second, morphing into concern. His hand went to her cheek, and she closed her eyes at the sensation of his skin against hers again. It felt like she could breathe again for the first time in months. “Are you okay?” he asked, and her eyes fluttered back open, taking in his furrowed brow, examining her far too closely. No one had seen her in months. But here Rowan was, after merely seconds, really seeing her.

She nodded as his finger rubbed against her cheek, leaning into his hand with gentle pressure. She wanted to cry. She refused to cry.

“I’m fine,” she croaked. She sniffed loudly and rubbed at her nose, hoping there wasn’t any evidence of her energy boost on her face.

“No, you’re not,” he said.

And for some reason it pissed Aelin off. That out of everyone in the world, this man could see through everything she said. Every time but once. The one time she wanted him not to believe her.

She rolled her shoulders back and frowned. “I’m fine,” she repeated with more force, and she watched as fury overtook Rowan’s face again.

“Aelin, you lost twenty pounds you didn’t have to lose.” Though anger lined his face, his voice was quiet with trepidation. “You’re shaking like a leaf. You’re looking at me, but you’re not really looking. So, I’m asking you… what the hell happened?”

Aelin chuckled, hoping to throw him off. “Why are you saying these things?” She paused, taking another tactic. “Where are they coming from?”

Rowan sighed sadly, his hand never leaving her cheek. “You’re really something if you think that’s going to work on me.” He sighed. “I know when I’m being bullshitted, Aelin.”

Do you, she wanted to cry. DO YOU?!

“I’m fine,” she repeated once more, her voice barely above a whisper. But as she looked at Rowan, really actually looked at him, she knew he could see through whatever façade she’d erected. He leaned in closer, and Aelin’s eyes widened.

“Ah, there you are.” Arobynn’s wide hand clapped onto Rowan’s shoulder, and Rowan stood suddenly, his hand dropping from Aelin’s cheek as if he’d been burned. “They’re ready for us.”

Rowan nodded succinctly, never taking his eyes off Aelin as Arobynn slunk around and wrapped his hand around her waist possessively. “I’ll see you later, darling,” he whispered into her hair, his nose brushing against her neck. Her skin prickled painfully under his touch, and she forced herself to relax into it.

As his lips ghosted across her bare shoulder, Rowan’s fists clenched at his side, and she could feel Arobynn’s smile curling his lips into a devlish grin.

He held up another replenished bag of cocaine, slipping it into Aelin’s hand. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Rowan’s lips parted, his face falling with disappointment seeing the answers to the questions Aelin had refused to answer; Arobynn was daring him to say something, anything. But Rowan knew better. Aelin needed to leave, unable to be stared at with such distress. She couldn’t think about that right now. She stuffed the drugs into her purse and brushed past Rowan without saying goodbye.

~*~

tag list:

@df3ndyr

@hizqueen4life

@maastrash

@justgiu12

@aknymph

@bamchickawowow

@thewayshedreamed

@strangeenemy

@studyliketate

@iammissstark

@heirofthenightcourt

@acourtofmarauders

@cmoff1

@stardelia

@b00kworm

@wordsafterhours

@m-like-magic

@the-third-me

@cursebreaker29

@annejulianneh111

@queen-of-glass

@aesthetics-11

@xhopelessdreamer

@babycardan

@illyrian-velaris

@galyxsy

@aelinfeyreeleven945tbln

@rolltide7

@keshavomit

@yuya1487

@minaidss

@tswaney17

@ladywitchling

@superspiritfestival

@starborn-faerie-queen

@acer6437

@booksofthemoon

@cool-ish-nerd

@althelkingshorses

@westofmoon

@sanakapoor

@louiseleblancdiggory

@lizzziebear

@viajandosinalas

@morganofthewildfire

@abookishfreak

@tottenhamboys20

@januarystears

@myfireheart-rowaelin

@jesstargaryenqueen

@empress-ofbloodshed

@faerie-queen-fireheart

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato

@siennasally

@peaches-and-daydream

@rosesandglass

@ms-firebreathingbitchqueen

@nikki1288-blog

@aelinmyqueen

@giorgia-the-trashpanda

@starborn-faerie-queen

@ireallyshouldsleeprn

@tillyrubes10

@cityofchelsea16

@rockgirl321

@welcometothespeaknowworldtour

@sjmships

@littleboxofthunder

@fangirlprincess09

@sleeping-and-books

@rocky99

@but-she-was-aelin-galathynius

@lucy617

@thisxisxali

@ourbooksuniverse

@highqueenofelfhame

#rowaelin #rowaelin angst #prompt #angst #charincharge writes

226 notes · View notes

dcbutinamrev · 3 years

Note

How exactly do you start a fic? Because I want to write one but I have no idea how to actually write the first paragraph. I have everything planned i just don't know how it's supposed to start

btw I love your writing, which is why I'm asking you but it's ok if you ignore this

WJEKWJEJWA

THANK YOU SM!! <333

Actually, before I got really really good at writing as I am now, I used to be like that: not knowing where to start or how to start doing the first paragraph. But I'll give you some tips that have helped me throughout the months/years that I have learned from experience:

1) READ READ READ

Pretty simple. But the saying is true: "The more you read, the more you write. The more you write, the more you read." I'm an advent reader. I read all kinds of genres from horror like IT to romance like The Fault in our Stars to fantasy like Twilight and Harry Potter to young adult like to All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love, Simon to historical fiction like Duty and Inclination to dystopian fiction Divergent and Hunger Games and Chaos Walking.

I read a LOT of Stephen King books. I know I have said this multiple times before, but it's true. I do. (I even read the Shining and IT- ). His books help me a lot with creating characterization and details for things like objects and for descriptions for characters in the fic/book. Reading cannot only help you improve your vocabulary, it can also help you gain inspiration for your story or fic, which is why I would highly recommend doing this. It can help enhance your imagination.

2) FILMS FILMS FILMS (or tv shows- )

Like reading books, films can also help you with your writing, especially for action scenes in the story/fic. I watch a lot, even if I'm not a big movie person, to help with facial expressions for the characters and what their actual apperances would look like and how their voices would sound.

3) EXCERSIE

I know I have said this multiple times before, but excerise can help you as well in figuring out where to start. When you excerise, your brain releases chemicals called endorphins which basically are what makes you feel happy and content (I took anatomy when I was in high school but that's besides the point). It can also help you breakthrough a writer's block as it does many times for me and I'll get the most random idea out of no where. So, I'd recommend trying that to get inspiration.

4) FIND YOUR STYLE

Find ways that fits you and makes your writing distinctly yours. Everyone has a different taste and ways they like to start theres.

Example: I love starting my chapters in my fics like this:

(Excerpt from Helpless, book 1 of the Helpless Trilogy; chapter one )

I WAKE WITH a strained gasp. My eyes snap open as I shoot upright, my shoulders tensed and up to my ears, my back rigid straight, and my hands clutching onto the bedsheets that are now draped over my lap. My knees are slightly bent as I sit upright, staring wildly at the mirror across the room in front of my bed. My eyes flicker wildly left to right, trying to get a sense of my surroundings as I pant fast, my breaths sharp and ragged as if I had just completed a marathon. I feel beads of sweat trickle down the side of my face, or is that the rain, or tears perhaps? I can't tell at this point, nor do I care.

Not everything will be successful first time. Even when I wrote Burn, the second book of the trilogy, I had to rewrite the first chapter at least four times before I actually found the one that I liked.

They way Veronica Roth started off her chapters in the Divergent trilogy with the first three words of the scentence bold and capitalized really inspired me to do the same, so I incorperated that technique into mine.

Those are what has helped me get a start on mine.

But this is basically how I start mine out each time:

Chapters 1-15: Introduce the main character, setting, their background story if they have it, their friends and etc.

Chapters 15-30: the rising action, just before the main climax. This will probably be where you'll start to include problems and obstacles for your characters to go through. And where you might start to introduce the antagonist of the fic.

Example: During those chapters in my lams fic Helpless is where Hamilton actually plays the part of being Laurens's fake girlfriend, Alexandrea (his female name) going to the mall with his friends to kind of play "dress up" almost, where Hamilton realizes he's actually falling for Laurens during those chapters but keeps denying it, etc.

Chapters 30-40: the climax, the most inticipating and exciting part of the whole story and the antagnoist.

Ex: Around chapter 40 in Helpless, that is where Hamilton meets John Andre and where Hamilton basically starts crushing on him.

Chapters 40-50: the resolution. This is where everything falls into place, where the puzzle is finally solved.

Example: In the last book of the Helpless Trilogy, Yrs Forever, Hamilton gives Andre a reasoning, teaches him the lessons and meaning of truth, that you can change your mind and self.

That is how I basically start mine out or my process is. Hope these tips help you! And for everyone else who needs them-

But all in all, it's your story and no one else's. Let your imagination go free!

#asks #ask liz #anon #writing #writing tips #author tips #fic tips #reblog if you wish #sorry this took so long!!#whew!

11 notes · View notes

gammacousin · 3 years

Text

Okay. I’m ready to real talk Black Widow. I don’t want to but as an activist there’s an obligation I have to share and educate. I nerd to forget but I suppose it shows the power of this movie if it brings something real into the light.

*Spoiler Warning. Trigger warning for everything.*

There are some things I want to say that could potentially spoil aspect of the Black Widow film. I also would advise you to skip this post if you have a darker past, if you aren’t interested in getting serious, or wish to skim by, I’m sincerely not judging! I come on here to avoid the universe as well. You do you, I totally still love you if you don’t read this and want to move onto something nerdy or more fun. This isn’t the post for you.

It’s taken me a while to process and organize my thoughts. Skip if you don’t want to hear deep, raw stories.

Okay. Nerd review first.

The level of girl power and any and all glass ceilings… There is SO much left to do. So much that needs to still be addressed. But seeing 3 women run this show: Yelena, Natasha, and Melina was an absolute joy to observe. This isn’t the end of some hard waged war, it’s the beginning and I beg you; Disney/Marvel. Please give us more of this? It’s so important for young girls to see other girls kicking butt and winning. Quick summary of nerd feelings; Losing Nat still burns. Yelena is a boss.

Okay…Real talk.

I have to get a little deeper here now. My personal story absolutely played into how I felt about this film and I wish I saw some trigger warnings about the material covered. Do I know Black Window’s story? Yes. In and out. I can read it, I can write my FF on it. However. Little to no one knows my story and so absolutely no one is to blame for not warning me. I was not expecting to come out this shook.

I’m sharing this because it’s happening now, today. In the real world. I doubt the film makers had this mind over other social issues, but after feeling like it’s irrelevant, that my pain is somehow less than, I’m realizing through my activism it’s not.

I grew up in a cult where women are not relevant. You matter up to a point. You are useful, to a point. If you’re giving 24/7, you’re not giving enough. If you’re not smiling as you’re doing cult stuff, you’re complacent. In addition to why I’m about to share, my house growing up was not a safe space which is a story for another time. So it’s a stack…this janga-ish game that eventually just comes crashing down.

My trigger started moments after the film started the handing over of the kids. When Alexei chooses the job over the welfare of the girls. Alexei put his two “daughters” in danger to save ‘face’. To put the job ahead of two children…it hit home. In the group I’m from, fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings will absolutely choose the group over blood. You are nothing and you mean nothing if you ‘defect’. If you break a rule. If you complain. If you say ‘no’. If you put in a bad review for a leader, if you have anything bad at all to say about the organization as a whole. You can confide something deep in someone you trust and it absolutely will come back to hurt you.

The title song shook me completely. This collage of video and images of brainwashing, treating these girls like absolute objects is disgusting in itself. But when you’re raised in this other world, there’s a level of brainwashing that is absolutely unmatched. Videos, books, quizzes, 12 hour lectures, weekly meetings.

People are unified to the point where you lose your own identity. There’s a language- a literally language- words you start to misuse. Verbiage only people in the cult use. Kids of any age will watch any rated film. Frequently the themes are about obedience and or cooperation and the consequences if you do not cooperate/obey. Death is a such a common theme that either you become petrified of your own shadow, petrified of breathing wrong, or turn completely numb. In sharing these videos, the goal is to instill this fear that you will never be enough. That you will die- turn into a charred hot dog of a figure if you do not obey 8 white men - the leaders, in New York. That your friends, classmates, neighbors, family will die if they don’t believe what you do. That you’re held accountable if you can’t bring them to your side.

The song for the credits hit me. I cannot listen to it. I have no idea what it was about.

When I watched the film, I couldn’t focus at this point at gosh barely 15 minutes in. I had already checked out. I heard keywords. “Entertainers,” “I feel stupid and contagious…”

In my world, I did not matter. What mattered was, what was presented to the public. To your group. Meeting some checklist of this perfect family at any cost. You’re not an individual, you’re a number. Literally. Your records are documented by men in the back room- your actions, your track record. But ultimately? You’re part of a numeral equation reported to headquarters. And if you’re a woman, you do not have a say in how you look, dress, act or in what you say. You are as the title song says, …“Entertainers”. You smile. You do your job, and you are ‘happy’ about it. Your job is to dedicate x amount of hours cleaning the room you gather in, and in recruitment of other members…

There’s a ‘job’ in the cult called a “pioneer”. Okay. No, we might not have been trained assassins. But you are trained to manipulate emotionally. To prey on the weak. You get books, magazines, movies, speeches, lectures- you rarely get a free Saturday. Oh and the job isn’t paid. So make sure you’re working (part time because full time secular work isn’t acceptable) at a desk job (because college and getting an education is not allowed). Don’t make friends with the people who work with you, they’re out to get you. Back at the club; You answer questions like it’s some schoolastic quiz every week and quote what your reading. It’s a brainwashing tactic. If you say something enough times, you remember it. You start to believe it. You spend hours reading these things, training… Your job is to target people who have lost- and have lost a lot because they’re vulnerable. You learn to go to cemeteries, and literally stalk people who are grieving. Like Val. If you can catch someone when they’re weak, senses are dulled. They’re desperate. And you bait them with this false promise. This idea that all THEY have to do is change all that they are, join you, and they’ll see their dead loved ones again. That they are doomed if they don’t change. Most pioneers draft 2-4 people per lifetime. If you’re a great saleswoman, you can draft more into this horrific world. And I regret the hours I spent lying, torturing people. For some cult that doesn’t give two cents about me.

I 100% believed of I didn’t convince my classmates, neighbors, to join my side they would either turn me in or they would be killed by a divine being. From 2 years old I was supposedly handing out pamphlets. The doom is not a quick painless death, no. You have visuals. You have men getting up to talk in detail about what your ‘friends’ will look like as corpses. Visually descriptive to the point where I still feel a bit numb to it all. That you will have to bury their bodies after the whole divine destruction. That you will have to “clean up” the earth. You are numb- convinced- bullied to the point where you believe this is true.

If you’re hurt as MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE, and you don’t have two people to testify and say they saw it- it never happened. Abuse is the norm. And if you speak up about it? You’re called a liar. Your friends cut you off. They think you’ll die along with everyone else if you put in a ‘bad review’ or leave. You’re bullied into submission and taught from a young age that you are not in control of your own decisions. You relinquish yourself under the pretense that the men you have such reverence toward are under some divine being’s control.

Your parents hurting you is acceptable. And don’t you dare speak against your father if he’s deeply involved. Don’t even think about approaching if he’s on a phone call. If you’re hit you take it- because you “deserved” it. And you smile. You shove that pain deep down. You hide the bruise, the cut lip, the depression, the bottles of pills you’re swallowing the whatever….You’re screwed if you faint, throw up, pass out, because you’ve missed a meeting. You better be dying for that to happen…

The idea that is portrayed in the movie (IMO) is that you can forgive family who hurts you. I see people forgiving Alexei and what’s her name. Look- that’s great. It’s a fun film. Alexei is funny. Here’s what I saw; it’s a toxic man- nay- father who can’t accept responsibility. He takes pride in what the girls have become- monsters. Not in who they are at their core. He has no idea who they are. And the mom has this photo album…I’m tearing up. She remembers this a certain way, a wishful thought. I’ve confronted my own mother about our past and had an album thrown at me, “We were happy. You were happy.” The fact is I was told the smile. You’re forcing this perception that everything was normal. That it’s okay to go back. (I’m not taking away Yelena’s view that everything was real to her, that’s fine for the sake of the story, and sweet. The moment between her and Alexei..fine. Milena turns and takes their side at the end, great.) The problem with how I saw this, is that’s not how the real world works. I don’t owe my parents forgiveness when I didn’t mean shit to them. When people leave the cult they’re cut off. Treated like they’re dead. I didn’t find these moments cute, I found them horrific. Hugging me, saying he’s proud of me is the toxic sh** my father would pull. Ignoring the holes in the wall, in my skull, the phony impression he gives to the rest of the group. Hugging me…after sweeping everything he did not only to me, but countless others under the rug because the cult…because 8 men in NY will protect him. Legally. Or otherwise.

I don’t need to forgive my parents. If you’ve been mistreated, you don’t owe anyone anything. They can “try” to do the right thing, that doesn’t somehow block out years of mistreatment. Years of trauma. Sheetrock only patches the surface of the broken walls. Wounds heal but some scars stay with you forever. Metaphorically or otherwise.

‘Entertainers’ was a trigger word because if you’re high enough in the ranking system you’re asked to “testify” or share a story. It’s in front of a couple thousand. It’s an “honor”. What it really is, is a three ring circus. You will only see women on the sidelines reading from the cards while only men stand at the main podium. They’re reading what they have told them to say. Stories are manipulated, cut, changed to fit a narrative that better suits the group of a couple thousand members.

Dreykov. I hate this. But I have to go there. I’m neck deep already, might as well. I think the worst part of all of it is that you can’t touch the person who made you this way. Those 6-7-8 leaders are untouchable. It doesn’t matter what you try. What legal entities, ex groups have tried. There’s a term for us and we are considered ‘mentally diseased.’ Members are told to avoid us. And in case you were curious, no, they can’t just break their nose on a table to be free- if only it were that simple. Gosh that got me. I would cut a limb, split my skull open, if it meant I could just cut a chord. It takes years of therapy and I still have nightmares. Urges to just, go. I’m OKAY. But most escapees are not. If you manage to escape with your life and don’t end it because the pressure, guilt, abuse that comes with leaving is too much. (This is sadly the fate of MANY LBGTQ+ members.)

The only hope is either the group eventually runs out of money or they’re taken down legally. Both of which are impossible since many older members will leave all they have to the group rather than to their family. It’s a complex billion dollar publishing company that plays monopoly with people’s investments, homes, and lives.

If you speak up, you’re the liar. So you cannot free your friends, who have turned on you, already cut you off, and discarded you the day you walked out and didn’t come back.

Watching Natasha, and Yelena free their sisters made me think of every woman who is stuck in this cult. For every woman, child, currently being sexually/physically abused and can’t say sh** because they literally believe god will kill them. If I say anything to them, they block me. If I expose what’s happening they will lie in court. That’s what is happening. And it’s not in the news, it’s not talked about. Because you can’t. You’re forced into silence. There’s a block. A literal legal force field that you cannot penetrate. They have their own lawyers. You can’t break into it. You’ll lose every, single, legal battle you try to fight.

Was this a decent movie? Yes. Was I expecting to share this days after release, no. I’ve been forced into silence for so long, told that people have it far worse and that I shouldn’t talk about it. But just today I saw a grown ass couple in an escapee group, talking about how one trigger word sent them into a depressive spiral. Wondering if some god damn lightening will come out of the sky and knock them dead. And we frickin struggle in silence. People will just shrug and go “oh it can’t be that bad,” while my gay best friend can’t catch an effing break. While someone else suffers at home because god wants it that way. Someone else will bury their kid today, maybe not even hold a funeral for them if they were ‘mentally diseased.’

For people like that couple I met today, like me, if you don’t just see a fun film but a darker past or maybe it’s brought up some memories for you, I’d honestly love to chat!!! Message me! I feel like for as painful as this is to hash out not too many people know about what goes on behind a group of smiling, well dressed woman who come knocking on your door. “It’s just a religion.”

I guess I didn’t realize…the criminal aspect of what happened to me. You’re so ingrained to keep quiet. To smile. To ignore, to suppress. I can smile, joke laugh, but visualizing…inadvertently seeing this mirror was so unbelievably uncomfortable. I would always rather help someone else because it takes me out of my head. Live in a bubble where I can call my trauma a ‘fantasy’. What’s real is when someone like me has a bad day? Lol! Look, my husband literally checks his phone to make sure a conversation never touches a couple hundred trigger words that will absolutely send me into the closet with a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of whiskey. I can’t imagine what someone else, what some other traumatized individual goes through. (Maybe that’s why the Bucky stuff makes me all angry She-Hulk too..)

Look, talking people ex members of this group, out of suicide is a daily endeavor to the point where it’s borderline on autopilot. But having this, I suppose, brilliant, piece of cinema turn the camera around left me raw and writhing and angry. Not for me, but for everyone else still stuck. With every year you spend in that cult, add ten more to therapy.

If you feel like me at all, you’re not alone. Not anymore. We were raised to feel alone in the world. That the universe is somehow out to get us and that’s simply not true. You don’t need the people who raised you if they were absolute shit bags. And you DO NOT have to forgive them for keeping you in that environment. Family isn’t family if they’ve hurt you. You owe them nothing. It is healthy to feel your feelings (and you and your feelings are valid. )

Anyways! I hope to be able to talk about more fun Marvel topics soon. But this felt important so thanks for listening. I’m really not hating guys, this is just…it’s heavy. And I beg you to do your research into cults and to help out where you can.

Love and light,

-M

#black widow film #black widow #cult #cult life #cult escapee #ex jw #apostate #mcu #jw #jwfamily #jwfacts #marvel

10 notes · View notes

theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Four: E-Stim

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Shane deals with the consequences of her email to her boss, both good and bad. A mortifying situation has an…unexpected outcome. Emotions run high in the fourth chapter of The Tx of Sy! Behind on the action? Catch up HERE!

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language, some angst and emotions. (Like I literally cried writing part of it) And like, an asshole boss…but if you stick it out with Susan, you won’t be disappointed.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

(you didn’t ask, but i took the liberty! Hope that’s okay!)

@tumblnewby @suavechops

Shane had spent her morning getting ready for work and treating her first patient with a whopping headache…maybe a small glass of wine would have been more responsible of her. But she slept like the dead, which was the goal.

She took a moment before her second patient to check her email…there was a reply from Susan.

Shane, come to my office at your next possible availability.

No "thank you" or "please" or "fuck you very much." just an order. Last she checked, SHE wasn't in the military. Since Heather wasn't in yet, she messaged the secretary on duty, Marsha, to see if she could find a way to make an opening in her morning. She wanted to get this meeting over with.

Sure, Shane. Looks like Cory could take your next patient, if you like. He's seen him before.

Perfect. Please make that change and block me for a meeting with Susan. Thank you so much.

She saw Cory walk by, and warned him. "Cory, I'm having Marsha move Mr. Greenbaum to you next hour. I need to meet with Susan about something." she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, shit. Okay. No problem." Cory knew all too well the fuckery that a Susan meeting could entail.

"I really appreciate it. I owe you big time."

"Nah, Mr. G is cool. We just talk about huntin' and stuff."

"He'll probably like that we switched, then." she laughed. And headed for what felt like the principal's office. Bleak and miserable.

She knocked on the door, and was told in an all too cheerful manner to come in.

"Hey!"

"Morning Susan."

"Close the door and have a seat, Shane."

She typed away for a moment before fully engaging…as was her way. She thought it gave her the power. It really just annoyed the fuck out of everyone.

"So, tell me what's going on with this patient you emailed me about."

"Well, he's an ACL and MCL tear, traumatic, plus a dislocated patella. He did it during a mission in Iraq. Ummm, he's improving a lot. Potter did the surgery. He had him keep the crutches about two weeks longer than we thought he would, but--"

"No I mean…this relationship. What's the deal, here?"

"Oh, there's not much to say about it, really. He's been fairly flirty from pretty early on. I've been able to ignore it, but to be honest, I think he's a really great guy, and I think he deserves better than me ignoring his advances, especially when, to be honest Susan, the feelings he has for me are not unrequited." her heart was racing. More than if Sy had been in the room flirting with her, but so much less pleasant.

"I don't think you should see this guy until the treatment is over. What if it doesn't work out and he doesn't want to come here anymore because of you." That hurt…not that it wasn't rattling around in her head, too.

"Well, Susan, to be honest, that's one reason I haven't spoken up about this already. I have that fear. But he's been very adamant about it lately, and it's been on my mind a lot, and I think I owe it to the both of us to see it through."

"I think I should call this guy. Let me pull him up."

She gave her his details to get his information pulled up in their system. God, this was embarrassing. She should have known this nightmare was coming.

"Hello?" a gravelly bark came across the speakerphone.

"Hello, Mr. Syverson?"

"Captain Syverson, yes, Ma'am." She wasn't expecting him to pull rank…and he did it so politely.

"Sorry, Captain Syverson. My name is Susan DeForrest, I'm the manager here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. How are you this morning?"

"This side of the daisies ain't worth complainin. What can I do ya for, ma'am?"

"Well, I have Miss Benton, your therapist here in a meeting. You're on speaker."

"Hey Sy." Shane mewled sheepishly.

"Hey there, Shane." she could hear the smile in his voice. She didn't know if Susan could.

"She's saying that the two of you would like to see each other socially, outside of therapy."

"Oh, that's not quite the words I'd use, ma'am, but I s'pose you're technically correct."

"And she's explained to you that this facility has a policy in place regarding such fraternization?" What a load of bullshit she was shoveling. Making it sound so sinister and clandestine what she and Sy were trying to start up. Like espionage. This woman…

"I'm aware that certain policies exist like that to protect patients or customers, and more frequently the staff from situations that could present problems for both or either parties. I am not aware that a strict policy exists to police your staff in such a stringent manner. In fact, I know the opposite to be true."

"Excuse me?" Susan asked, shell shocked.

"See, them policies o' yours, they're all available online. Public knowledge. Even your personnel ones. Now, y'all have a nice and thorough handbook, I mean, I have been up all night just pouring over this like honey on toast, and I can tell you, I ain't findin' a word about y'all not being allowed to date your patients."

"Well, it's in policy number…"

"Nope, you were gonna say 47, subsection 2, part b. But that just says that you shouldn't treat anyone you're close to (i.e. friend, relative, or significant other) if you can't maintain objectivity or your own comfortability. Now, if I'd make Shane uncomfortable, or if she lost her objectivity over me, I'd be devastated. Shane, do I or do you think I could make you uncomfortable or unobjective?" he was laying it on so thick. If she hadn't been falling for him, this would have done it.

"I don't think so, Sy." She held back a smile…but not well.

"There ya have it. Miss DeForrest, I trust that Shane is free to live her life in the way she sees fit?"

"Well, I still think she should wait…" Susan started, but was cut off again by Sy.

"Because you see, I've seen a lot of young people fail to grow old. A lot of people waitin' to do things…they never ended up doin'. This life…it can be real, real short, Miss DeForrest. And I'm not keen on waitin' to be happy when I could be happy right now. Have I made myself clear enough for you? Or do I need to go to the next link in the chain of command here?" The emotion and resolve in his voice was completely shattering. He wasn't crying. But Shane and Susan both were. And then suddenly, Susan sniffed herself into composure and answered him with dignity.

"No, Captain Syverson. That will not be necessary. Shane…is free, of course, to socialize with whomever she sees fit so long as it doesn't affect anyone's treatment adversely. Thank you for your time, candor, and perspective, sir."

"I'm glad to help Shane. She's helped me more than any therapist I've ever had. We clicked immediately. I knew she was somethin' special. But getting to know her over the last few weeks has shown me what true happiness could feel like…I'd forgotten that over in Iraq. She gave that back to me. I'd like to thank her properly."

"I think she'd like that too. Thank you, sir." Susan hung up the phone without letting them say goodbye to each other, but Shane was an utter mess, and unable to form coherent words right now, anyway.

"Wow." Susan exclaimed.

"Yeah." Shane sniffed into a tissue, dabbing her eyes and then blowing her nose loudly, and unapologetically.

"Did he say he spent the whole night reading our policies?" Susan asked, not sure she heard him right.

"That's what I understood." Shane was somehow not surprised.

"Did you tell him to do that?"

"I didn't even know the policies were online, nor did I know you'd pull him in to our meeting…I didn't even know we were having one until twenty minutes ago."

"Right…fair. Sorry, I'm still…off-put by all of that." She had been beaten…and it wasn't familiar or comfortable.

"So, are we finished here?" Shane inquired, tentative about the state of mind her boss was in.

"Yes, go on and take the rest of the hour for continuing ed or whatever." She was normally much more composed…Sy had really gotten to her. She loved it.

Shane hurried back to her treatment room. She had to call him.

"Hello?" that same gravelly voice now confused as he'd just hung up with her, basically.

"May I speak to the great hero Captain Syverson, please?"

"Sunshine. How ya doin'?"

"Did you really stay up all night last night to read our entire employee manual?"

"I wanted the straight up, true life details about this policy that could mess up my future."

"I think you broke my boss's brain. She was still stewing when I left. She thought I told you where to find all that and what not. I didn't even know you could find it online. Plus, I didn't know we'd be meeting or that she'd drag you into a personnel matter. She's the worst. And you're literally my hero for beating her down like you did."

"Hey, ya know, she started it. I just finished it."

"You sure did. And how!"

"So…since we're all legal now…"

"Is the magic gone since it's not forbidden?" she laughed.

"Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, I think this may be a mistake. Sorry."

They both giggled.

"I'm free after work on Friday." she suggested.

"Not anymore, you're not. Bring some nice clothes and change when you're done. I'll pick you up after. Just text me when you're about ready?"

"You haven't given me your number, Sy."

"It's in my chart, dork."

"You have to officially give it to me."

"Oh I'll give it to ya, baby." He'd dug deep into the bass part of his register for that one.

"Syyyyy." she groaned.

"Oh, you already know I like it when you say my name."

"I'm being serious right now, what's your damn number or the date is off." She bluffed.

"Not because I believe that idle threat, but because I wanna…give it to ya." he rattled off the number.

"Okay, I'll be texting you with mine. Now, I have work today, so if you text me and don't get an immediate response, you know that's why."

"I'm not your only patient? I'm hurt, Shane."

"I know, that's why you've been coming to therapy for weeks."

"Har-Har, good thing I'm not into you for your sense of humor."

"Good thing I'm not into you for your looks, since 80% of your face is obscured by hair."

"We could go all day like this."

"The stamina." she teased.

"Well, look who joined the game!" he sounded almost proud.

"Don't think I haven't been participating silently for…a while."

"How long?" he inquired

"Isn't that my line?" she laughed at the penis joke she'd just made.

"You'll find out soon enough, and you won't be laughing. How long?"

"Well, you remember your evaluation."

"I do."

"Yeah…then." she bleated, too shy to say so with pride.

"No way! You mean you've liked me all this time too! And haven't said shit!?"

"I had to be professional, Sy! I didn't want to! Damn! You've gotta know how much I didn't want to be professional."

"I'll forgive ya, I guess, lil' lady."

"Merciful of you, sir!" she chuckled. "I'll need to go here soon. Won't be long now until my next one gets here."

"Tease me with a 'sir' then cut me off. Cruel."

"You like 'sir,' huh?" she whispered.

"I do. Yes…I…do."

"Noted. Well, until tomorrow."

"Don't forget to text me. I want you to give it to me too." he chuckled.

"Oh, you're bad."

"But, I'm real, real good sunshine." The deep rich promise in his voice did not go unnoticed.

"Bye Sy."

"Later Shane."

She hung up and texted him immediately. A selfie. He replied in kind. He seemed to be home on his couch, Aika by his side…he was not wearing a shirt…well…this day would be eternal.

Up Next: Chapter Five- Sensory Integration 1

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc

101 notes · View notes

silentsockfeet · 3 years

Text

tlou2 photomode tips

disclaimer: these are just my go-to tricks that i like to use, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll work for everyone! each person has their own taste and style that they have to develop and these are just what i’ve found work best for me

just going through section by section which settings I use. but i just want to note that a lot of the things i keep in mind when taking photos are what i’ve learned through real life photography and through my film major, where i was taught things like composition, lighting, etc. i have general tips i can give about that as well but for now i just thought i’d keep it to the actual settings i use, partly bc this post is already long as fuck

camera

for portraits, set camera roll to 90 (or -90, it’s the exact same just in different directions)

for all my portraits i’ll usually have field of view set all the way to zero and camera zoomed in as far as it’ll go, tho obviously this changes depending on what you want

depth of field

depth of field is one of the most important tools for drawing the eye and keeping your photos less muddled. you can keep your subject in focus while blurring everything else, so your viewer knows exactly what they’re supposed to be looking at

for nearly all my photos i keep DOF intensity at about 70

DOF is also good for creating a mood. for example, if i want really soft, cosy type photos i’ll have really intense DOF (about 80). if i want crisp action photos i’ll have less intense DOF (50-60)

lately i've been doing some experimenting and setting DOF at 100 to try and get some cool effects but again, this all comes down to personal taste. do your own experimenting and find what you like!

display

brightness changes from photo to photo. i started a system where i’ll find a 10-point range where the brightness looks good (ie. 35-45) and then take a photo at every 5 points (so three photos at 35, 40, 45)

again, these numbers aren’t set, i find whatever range looks best for the photo and then choose the best looking one after uploading to my computer

sharpness i usually don’t tamper with

i only use saturation alongside a 50% noir filter, which i’ve explained more below

screen effects

chromatic aberration is usually always the original settings. every now and then i'll amp it up if i think it looks cool but i've very rarely done this. again, all comes down to personal taste

film grain is pretty much always set to zero unless i want to use it for stylistic effect, which is rare

filters

what i do fairly often to get the dark backgrounds i like is to set filter to noir but change intensity to 50. then i’ll go to the display tab and change saturation to 30, sometimes 35 (the numbers aren’t always these tho, you have to eyeball it to find where the skin tones look normal)

this keeps the edges dark but still makes characters look as colorful as normal

noir is probably the filter i use most often, but every now and then i’ll use vintage, blorange, or none.

this is really where you can take my advice with a grain of salt because filters are very much a personal taste option, so find what you like!

vignette

for most of my photos, i have vignette ON but size and intensity are both set to 0. i find it helps even out the photo, so that background isn’t too bright while characters are too dark

if i want a particularly dark background, i’ll sometimes set both to 50. very rarely, if i want a darker background but all 0 is too light and all 50 is too dark, i’ll set size to 75 and intensity to 25.

but again, for nearly all of my photos they’re both set to 0

misc.

to summarize, my most common settings: camera roll 90, DOF intensity 70, multiple shots at different brightness settings, film grain 0, noir 50% with saturation bumped slightly, vignette ON but both settings at 0

your flashlight is your best source of lighting! it’s the only source you can actually control, so it’s especially helpful when photographing NPCs. shine your flashlight in their face and harass them!! i use the very edge of the light bc the center is often too bright and leaves a weird ring of light on their face

sometimes using the NPC’s flashlight as a source of light for your main character is also helpful, but it’s definitely harder, since obviously you can’t control them. just something to keep in mind

besides the flashlight, other in game objects can help to make cool effects as well. in this set i posted recently i used smoke bombs to make a more solid backdrop. they also help to emphasize light rays so i want to experiment with it more lol

most important thing to note is that i take a SHIT TON of photos. i’m guessing for every one i post there’s ten i don’t. the reason for this is, the graphics on your tv are gonna be set to different formats than your computer or phone, so your photos won’t look the same on each device. i always choose photos based on how good they look on my phone, because i figure that’s what most people will see them on. so if you’re like me and you don’t have / can’t afford good photo editing software, the best way to account for what looks best is to take a bunch of the same photo but on different settings and then compare on a separate device

i pretty much don’t make any edits outside of photomode save for cropping photos, but even then i've been trying to do that less. very rarely i'll make some brightness adjustments if they turn out too dark on my computer, but i try to avoid that as much as possible

i seriously can’t stress this enough, but just have patience and keep trying! the worst thing i always do is get all in my head about which posts were successful and whether or not people like my photos, but honestly? just ignore it and photograph what YOU like. art is an inherently selfish hobby. don’t let anything discourage you, just post what you like and keep trying to improve!

i tried to keep this limited to my general settings, but again, it changes with every shot. if y’all want to ask more specific questions about specific shots or whatever please feel free! or if you just want to ask general questions that's cool too! i'm always happy to help :)

#seriously tho don’t hesitate to ask more i promise i’m nice #all of my photomode improvement came from other photographers who were nice enough to share their own tips so i just want to pay it forward #tlou2 photomode #also i am SO sorry about the length it really got away from me #told y’all i overexplain :/#my posts

37 notes · View notes

ohkiyo · 4 years

Text

pairing: Goshiki Tsutomu x Reader

warnings: none

word count: 2, 863

a/n: I got sidetracked so many times while writing this XD.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

shiratorizawa navigation || main navigation

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

Rest days were very rare for members of any sports clubs, especially when a very important tournament is just right around the corner, and just as practices are good, taking a break and resting those tired muscles is very important as well.

That is why, when Coach Washijou announce yesterday that they’d have the weekend off, members of Shiratorizawa’s boys’ volleyball club use it as an opportunity to finally do the plans they have been holding on for a while now.

Therefore, when Goshiki called you last night to tell you he’d be taking you on a date the next day, you were ecstatic. Letting out an excited squeal, startling your roommate in the process who was watching a movie while you jump around in your room, still talking to your boyfriend about your plans for your date.

Your roommate was definitely looking at you funny, watching as you were talking so fast she couldn’t even understand what you were saying, so she just shook her head and continued watching her movie.

The two of you didn’t really plan anything extravagant, just a stroll around the mall or anything mundane, you don’t really care, you’re just glad you can finally have your boyfriend all by yourself for the whole day. Currently, the two of you were in your favorite clothes shop in one of Sendai’s malls, going through the various assortments of apparel they offer.

Browsing through the rack of sweaters and jacket, a certain clothing item caught your attention; you took it from the rack and giving it a closer look. It was a black colored hoodie, with a little animated bread with a smiley face and the words peanut butter printed just below it was the design, situated on the upper left part of the chest area. It was big, but you have always preferred clothes that were twice your size, they were more comfortable.

Going through the rack again, you saw another one, similar in color, a similar animated bread with the smiley face but this one says jelly, the position of the design was the same but it was smaller, closer to your size than the one you are currently holding.

Realizing that it was a couple hoodie, you walk up to your boyfriend and showed it to him.

“Tsutomu, look!” you said, holding up the two hoodies for him to see. He examines it, the cute design definitely catching his attention.

“Can we buy this?”

“Sure!”

After paying for your items, the two of you went to the mall’s rooftop where restaurants with open areas were operating. It was mostly the go-to place for most shoppers since the tables were placed in an open space, surrounded by many potted plants and a beautiful fountain in the middle, not only that, the fresh air is a good addition as well if anyone wants to get away from the stuffy smell the mall’s air conditioners were usually giving.

“It looks so good” Goshiki said, as the server place your food on the table, you could feel your mouth watering just by the sight of it. Immediately digging into the plates of food, once everything you’ve ordered was served.

“(Y/n)-chan, have you tried this one yet?” Goshiki pointed at the plate of chicken in front of him, you shook your head, swallowing your food.

“It’s really good” he took a piece of chicken with his fork and feeding it to you, watching as you slowly chew on the piece of meat. Your eyes went wide, a little hum leaving your lips at the various flavors exploding in your mouth.

It was just fried chicken, but it was a lot different from the ones you have had, probably because of the spices the cooks put during preparation.

“Tasty, right?” you nodded your head as he fed you another piece chuckling at how your cheeks were bulging with so much food.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, on a table, a few feet away were three pairs of eyes watching the exchange like a hawk.

“I didn’t know he has a girlfriend” Yamagata leaned forward as he squints his eyes, trying to have a closer look at the girl to see if he recognize her.

“She’s probably just a classmate” Reon said watching as his other three companions decided to ignore their food and focus more on the cute display of affection happening in front of them.

It’s not even considered PDA, they were just sharing their food something people normally do, but for them, who had been around the first year far too long would know that this was new, even they were surprised.

They know Goshiki is not good at talking to girls, they could clearly remember how he chokes on his own spit the other day when he was talking to one of the members of the girls’ volleyball team.

“She’s probably more than just a classmate” Tendou wiggled his finger at them, sliding his plate towards Ushijima and telling him to finish it.

“A friend maybe? They look close” Semi offered, as both he and Yamagata followed Tendou’s action, Reon sweatdrop watching as the third-year captain silently accept all the foods being given to him.

“What? No!” Tendou objected, an offended look on his face as if they had just insulted his favorite manga “You’re all clearly underestimating Tsutomu, he’s tall, he’s cute, he’s smart and good at sports. He’s like a mini Wakatoshi-kun if you ask me!”

“So, you think Wakatoshi is cute?” Yamagata raises an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms over his chest as Semi’s mouth formed into the widest grin Tendou has ever seen.

“You know he’s right over there, you could tell him that you have a crush-“

Tendou clamp a hand over Semi’s mouth as he sneaks a glance towards Ushijima who seemed to have not heard what any of them was saying, and was more invested in his food than pay them attention. He let out a sigh, before turning his head to the two.

“We don’t talk about that here”

Semi remove his hand a smirk on his face “Alright, but we’re going to have a discussion about it later”

“They’re leaving”

They watch as the duo walk away, hand in hand, something that did not go unnoticed from their prying eyes.

“Guess they really were a couple”

"Told ya!”

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

"Hmm, what to watch" you tap your chin as you look at the various movie posters that were showing that day. The movie options weren't even that interesting to begin with, half of it was romance dramas while the others were just poor adaptations of movies from other countries.

Goshiki let out a sigh, about to suggest that you do something else when another poster, all alone in the far corner of the wall, caught his eye.

"(Y/n)-chan look" he tugs at your blouse as you turn to look where he was pointing, you squint your eyes reading the details written on it. It was a promotional poster to this year's Eigasai [1], the list of movies to be shown were listed in bullet forms and the selected malls where it would be showing printed at the bottom.

"That's today" you look at your boyfriend who nodded his head and the two of you went back to the rooftop, walking towards the area where the screening for the Eigasai selected films were being held.

"Their movie line up this year is good" you muttered, as you read the titles of the multi-awarded films. Recognizing how most of them were movies directed by famous directors.

"Let’s watch this one" Goshiki pointed at the poster, the title The Boy and The Beast catching your interest, you nodded your head as the both of you stood in line to get your tickets.

Once that was done, you made a quick purchase for your snacks before going inside the cinema, sitting in your designated area as you waited for the movie to start.

The projector was playing an ad as people slowly fill in the empty seats. You adjusted yourself in your seat, leaning back as the lights start to go dim, grabbing a few pieces of popcorn as the movie's intro starts playing.

Among many villages of beast in the world, the busiest is here, called Jutengai. The number of beast living here is about a hundred thousand.

“This is a very good way to start a movie” Goshiki commented eyes never leaving the screen as he took a sip of his drink. You nodded your head in agreement.

“I know, right?”

A long time leader among them proclaimed he shall retire and become a god. While pondering which god he shall be, since a new leader must be named should he decide, he ordered everyone to prepare a candidate.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

"That was probably the worst horror movie I've ever seen in my life" Semi grumbled stomping out of the cinema as he let out a huff “People were hyping it up so bad on social media, that I thought it was going to be exciting or something"

"That was definitely a flop" Tendou added shaking his head in disappointment.

"I demand a refund"

"I don't think that's possible Eita" Reon could only offer a pat on the back, before casting a glance at the second years who they had bumped into while waiting in line for their ticket "I think I saw Kenjirou fell asleep somewhere in the middle"

Shirabu shrugs his shoulders, moving his bangs away from his eyes to have a proper look at his upperclassman "It was boring"

"We should have just went to Eigasai instead" Kawanishi patted the giant poster displayed beside him. Popping a popcorn in his mouth as he watches Semi grab Tendou by the collar of his shirt and shaking him.

"You made me pay ¥1,800 [2] for a movie where I could've just watch it for free!"

"Now, now Eita-kun it was an honest mistake. We didn't know the film festival was today"

Tendou tries to explain but Semi just shook him harder, while an oddly pale-looking Yamagata stood beside Ushijima, not saying a single word since they had exited the cinema.

"Are you okay Hayato?" Ushijima asks, looking at him.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine" he answered before a thought went through his head 'What the fuck you mean that movie was boring?! It was terrifying!' He had to resist the shiver running down his spine as he could still remember some scenes from the movie.

He was definitely having nightmares tonight.

“By the way. Have you seen Tsutomu today?” Tendou asks pulling Semi off of him “He’s on a date!”

The two second years raise an eyebrow “A date?”

“Yeah- look there he is!” the redhead stretch his hand and pointed to Goshiki and his date walking towards the escalator. Laughing amongst each other.

“C’mon let’s go!” he gathered them all and started pushing them towards the direction the two have gone, completely ignoring their protest.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

"I didn't know there was a park here" Goshiki mumbled a stunned look on his face as his eyes surveyed the area. It was big, a lot bigger than the ones near the neighborhood areas, there were gazebos, a picnic area where tables were already set up overlooking a wide lake with wild ducks swimming around. A playground at the far corner complete with a seesaw, a slide, a sandbox, and a jungle gym.

"Me neither" you added taking a seat in one of the many benches as a sudden realization hit you "Gosh we need to go out more. How long has it been since we went off campus?"

Goshiki thought for a moment before answering "2 months"

"2 months?!" you gaped at him, as he tried to recount the days but it stayed the same "How?"

"High school happened" the both of you let out a heavy exhale, pulling you closer to him as the two of you watch the rest of the park goers enjoying their afternoon.

“I had fun today Tsutomu-kun. Thank you” you said squeezing your boyfriend’s hand as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Really? I’m glad” he smiled down at you, planting a kiss on the crown of your head as he adjusted himself, resting his head on top of yours.

“Achoo!”

“Tissue! Tissue!”

“We don’t have any more tissues!”

Kawanishi sniffled, a pained groan leaving his lips as he sneezes once more. The itchy feeling in his nose irritating him as he took Shirabu’s offered handkerchief.

“Taichi-nii?”

Kawanishi raises his hand in a small wave as you frown, walking up to him while rummaging your bag for the tissue you had packed earlier.

“What are you doing standing near the flower beds? You know you’re allergic to them” you took hold of his wrist as you pulled him towards the picnic area where there were only grasses and trees present, the other following after you two.

“Sorry” he blew on his nose, as you gave him his antihistamine pill and a bottle of water. Semi doesn't even question why you're carrying an anti-allergy pill with you, he's just glad Kawanishi was immediately given some medication.

“You know her Taichi?” Tendou tilts his head to the side, eyes blinking in question.

Kawanishi nodded his head “She’s my younger cousin” he answered as he turned you to them, telling you to introduce yourself.

“Hello, my name’s (L/n) (Y/n) nice to meet you” you bowed as they introduce themselves to you one by one.

“You’re Tsutomu’s girlfriend, right? We saw you two earlier” you nodded your head, smiling at Yamagata as he started patting Goshiki on the back, while Tendou keeps on ruffling his hair until it was messy, saying something how he didn’t tell them that he has a cute girlfriend and why he didn't introduce you to them earlier.

You chuckled, turning your attention back to your cousin who's sniffles had finally calmed down. You gave him another piece of tissue, stepping to the side as a couple walks past your group. You scrunch up your nose as the familiar smell of strong perfume went up to your nostril, before a sneeze finally left your lips.

"You too?" Semi asks, growing worried by the second as a barrage of sneezes left your lips. Goshiki sitting you down beside your older cousin and offering you the almost empty tissue pack.

"It was the perfume" you wave your hand at the couple that was already a few feet away, but the smell of their perfume still lingering in the air.

Tendou and Shirabu had to pinch their nose, trying to prevent themselves from accidentally inhaling the scent as Yamagata tries to stop himself from gagging "I don't know what it was but it stinks"

Reon nodded as he tried to wave away the awful smell, while Ushijima doesn't even look affected in the slightest. You let out another sneeze rubbing your temple as you start to feel yourself getting a headache, Kawanishi doing the same.

Looks like it’s going to be a miserable weekend for the both of you.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

You stood beside the two coaches, a smile on your face, and a notebook in hand, as your eyes scanned the face of the new team you will be managing from now on. You had just finished introducing yourself to the team, waiting for Coach Washijou and Coach Saito to finish their pre-practice reminders.

“Starting today she will be your new manager so don't screw it up!"

"Yes sir!" was their collective reply as Coach Washijou nodded his head, satisfied at the energy they seem to possess.

"Good, now start warming up. We're starting with spiking drills today"

With that, they disperse and walk over to their own area and started stretching. Thoroughly preparing their body for the strenuous exercise they will be doing today.

"It's funny how we just met (Y/n) a few days ago and now she's our manager" Reon mused, as he twists his body to the side.

"I offered the position to her" Ushijima said as they look at him "Shirabu mentioned that she's an outstanding student and I think she would be a good addition to the team. Someone reliable to help take care of everyone"

"You're fast"

"It would be a shame if she were to manage a different a club, and also..." he pauses meeting their eyes as his lips twitch into one of those rare smiles they have seen "... She would be an excellent motivator for Goshiki"

He motioned his head to where the two first years were talking to each other, Goshiki was sporting a very wide smile on his face, visibly vibrating on the spot as the girl wrap his fingers with some tape. Which was odd, he doesn’t even tape his fingers.

Probably an excuse to talk to her more.

"They're cute together aren't they?" Semi commented, watching as Goshiki sneakily gave his girlfriend a peck on the forehead before jogging towards the court.

"Yes they are" Tendou nodded his head, as silence enveloped the both of them before Semi spoke up again.

"So... about your crush on Wakatoshi"

"Eita-kun, shh!"

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

[1] Eigasai is a Japanese film festival held every August, I think. They would have screenings of the best Japanese films animated or not, and the best thing about it, it’s free! You just have to make the effort to wait in line. I search up google and unfortunately, it’s an event only available in my country, at least that’s what it said, but just for the sake of this story, I decided to include Japan as well. hehehe

[2] According to Google, that’s the actual price for movie tickets in Japan.

#haikyuu #goshiki fluff #goshiki tsutomu x reader #haikyuu fluff #goshiki x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #goshiki tsutomu scenarios #goshiki tsutomu imagines

122 notes · View notes

lastsonlost · 4 years

Text

Oh my God Elon said something we don't agree with. God I hope Apple and Starbucks disagrees with you too.

Owning a Tesla, the luxurious electric car, is a major liberal status symbol. It signals nothing more than good taste — the perfect balance of wealth with care for fossil fuels. But the man behind the brand is crafting a very different persona online that may now prove to be a challenge for his fans.

Elon Musk, the bombastic head of Tesla and SpaceX, exhorted his 34 million Twitter followers on Sunday to “take the red pill.” The comment was quickly embraced by his followers, including Ivanka Trump, President Trump’s elder daughter, who announced that she had taken the pill already.

The exchange referred to a scene from “The Matrix,” the 1999 science fiction action film. But the meaning of “red pill,” and the idea of taking it, have since percolated in online forums and become a deeply political metaphor. And with Mr. Musk and Ms. Trump, the phrase is now lodged more fully into the mainstream.

So Tesla owners are having to grapple with a car that carries a few new connotations.

“Honestly, Musk is becoming a liability and the Tesla board needs to seriously consider ousting him,” wrote Markos Moulitsas, author of “The Resistance Handbook: 45 Ways to Fight Trump.” “And I say that as a proud owner of a Tesla and a SpaceX fanatic who truly appreciates what he’s built.”

So what is the red pill?

[ I hope your fuckings Tesla explodes. You don't have to be in its but you should be forced to walk everywhere.]

In “The Matrix,” the movie’s hero, Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, is given the option to take a pill that lets him see the truth.

The world he thinks is real turns out to be an entertaining lie; his body is actually trapped in a farm where people are being used as human batteries. Taking the blue pill would let him return to living in the ignorant but blissful lie, while taking the red pill would launch him into an arduous journey through a brutal but fulfilling reality.

The idea of taking the red pill later grew to mean waking up to society’s grand lies. It was embraced by the right, especially by members of its youngest cohort who organized and spent their time in online forums like Reddit and 4chan.

The truth to be woken up to varied, but it ended up usually being about gender. To be red-pilled meant you discovered that feminism was a scam that ruined the lives of boys and girls. In this view, for a male to refuse the red pill was to be weak.

Red Pill forums were often filled with deeply misogynistic and often racist diatribes. The more extreme elements splintered into groups like involuntary celibates (“incels”) or male separatists (Men Going Their Own Way, or MGTOWs). Conferences like the 21 Convention and its sister convention, Make Women Great Again, sprang up to gather red-pilled men. Being red-pilled became a sort of umbrella term for all of it.

As these conversations seeped into the mainstream, pulled along by a host of other internet language from message boards to establishment Republican conversations on sites like Breitbart, the meaning broadened and got watered down. To be red-pilled can now mean being broadly skeptical of experts, to be distrustful of the mainstream press or to see hypocrisy in social liberalism.

What’s going on with Elon Musk?

Mr. Musk has been pretty wild online for years now, which has made him a major internet celebrity with devoted fans who call themselves Musketeers. There are fan pages like Musk Memes with nearly 100,000 followers, and a Reddit page with 200,000 members in constant, extremely active conversation.

Most recently, Mr. Musk has been a prominent skeptic online of the coronavirus, calling the response to it a “panic” and “dumb” and wrongly predicting close to zero new cases by the end of April. As of Tuesday, there were more than 90,000 deaths from the virus and more than 1.5 million cases in the United States alone.

The night before Tesla’s earnings were released last month, Mr. Musk tweeted an anti-lockdown rallying cry: “FREE AMERICA NOW.” He had a showdown with local lawmakers, threatening to move Tesla headquarters out of California and deciding to reopen a Tesla factory in Fremont, Calif., despite the local county’s restrictions to prevent the virus from spreading.

When State Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez objected on May 9 with an obscene tweet, Mr. Musk responded, “Message received.”

Defending his reopening of the Tesla factory, Mr. Musk wrote on Twitter that he would be on the factory floor and offered himself up to authorities. “I will be on the line with everyone else,” he posted on May 11. “If anyone is arrested, I ask that it only be me.”

This month, he and his girlfriend, Claire Boucher, the musician known as Grimes, had a child and named him X Æ A-12. And Mr. Musk announced that Tesla shares were too high and that he was selling almost all his possessions to the point of owning no house.

“We have a phrase, it’s E.M.M. — Elon Moves Markets,” said Bill Selesky, an analyst at Argus Research who tracks how Mr. Musk’s messages impact Tesla’s stock price. “People want to listen to him no matter what he says. He tends to be thought of as a great visionary.”

Mr. Selesky said even Mr. Musk’s detractors parsed every tweet and utterance. “Plus, if you have a Tesla, nobody can ever complain about you because you’re good for society,” he added.

This leads back to Mr. Musk’s message on Sunday, telling his followers to take the red pill.

Do ‘The Matrix’ creators like this?

No. Lilly Wachowski, a “Matrix” co-creator, told Mr. Musk and Ms. Trump in colorful language on Twitter that they could take a hike.

Is ‘red pill’ a Silicon Valley thing?

To some extent.

There has long been a strain of men’s rights activism in Silicon Valley, exemplified by James Damore, a former Google engineer who was fired after writing a memo arguing that the reason there are fewer female engineers is biological differences rather than discrimination.

Mr. Damore became a folk hero for a simmering movement in the technology industry of people who thought the efforts toward 50/50 representation at tech companies were absurd. Cassie Jaye, who calls herself a former feminist, made a 2016 documentary about the Red Pill community and said it had flourished in the tech world.

But the more common phrase in Silicon Valley to signal contrarian thinking is “narrative violation,” which is often used to describe an event that cuts against the mainstream media’s consensus on a topic. The idea is that there is a story being told about the world and how it works, but that the story is too simplistic to be entirely true and an event occasionally pops up to remind people of that.

Why does any of this matter?

Few products today are as deeply entwined with a person’s brand as Tesla is with Mr. Musk, and so his comments can feel personal for Tesla drivers.

“As a Tesla owner, a 47-year-old male recovering from Covid-19, and someone very concerned simultaneously about the environment, the economy, my kids’ and my parents’ future, this ain’t great,” said Jeff Guilfoyle, a product manager at FireEye in San Diego. “This disease is no joke, and the long-term health impacts are unknown for survivors.”

Many have implored Mr. Musk online to stop.

Raja Sohail Abbas, the chief executive of an outpatient psychiatric clinic in Allentown, Pa., wrote: “I am a Tesla owner and love the company. You have to stop being an idiot about this.”

“Tesla owner and Fan here, but this was a disappointing tweet despite the frustrations of and holdups,” added Alex Goodchild, a D.J. in Brooklyn. “Words are weapons especially when used during situations like the one we’re currently experiencing. You sound just like Trump in this tweet.”

The debate has riven the Tesla community.

“The last two months, there’s been this polarization in the Elon Musk fan club,” said Paula Timothy-Mellon, a technology consultant who moderates that LinkedIn-based fan club, which has 22,000 members. “There are those who are believers in these California guidelines and there are those in favor of his push to re-open Tesla.”

Many have implored Mr. Musk online to stop.

Raja Sohail Abbas, the chief executive of an outpatient psychiatric clinic in Allentown, Pa., wrote: “I am a Tesla owner and love the company. You have to stop being an idiot about this.”

The debate has riven the Tesla community.

Driving a Tesla often carries great symbolism for the owner (and observers).

“If you own a Tesla, you feel you are directly connected to Elon Musk and people think that Tesla owners are directly connected to the politics of the C.E.O.,” said Sam Kelly, a Tesla owner and investor based in Spain who posts under the name SamTalksTesla.

He added that he did not think the red pill comment meant any big new political awakening from Mr. Musk.

Asked to explain his thinking, Mr. Musk pasted an image of the Urban Dictionary definition of red pill in an email. It read:

“‘Red pill’ has become a popular phrase among cyberculture and signifies a free-thinking attitude, and a waking up from a ‘normal’ life of sloth and ignorance. Red pills prefer the truth, no matter how gritty and painful it may be.”

Seriously get a refund, buy a prius and

GET THE FUCKS OVER IT!

103 notes · View notes

these-are-the-first-steps · 4 years

Text

“The Rise of Skywalker”- A Review from Memory

So it’s been a week since I’ve had to live with this film in front of my eyes, and a week and a half that I’ve had to grapple with the brunt of its sins. With a heavy sigh, I think I’m ready to go through the play-by-play of every plot hole in this film that I can manage from memory without the thing in front of me. And even then, the laundry list is hefty. Keep in mind that this is a FILM-BASED review only- I have tried to refrain from including new information we have learned since its release last Thursday in an effort to keep this as focused and topical as possible.

+The first scene of this film is weird. I’m all for watching Adam Driver wild out on some dudes, but it is never explained who these guys are and if it’s just Kylo ‘committing more slaughter’ (as the casual audience is wont to think) or if there’s something significant here. As the movie goes on and Kylo makes it clear that he’s under no one’s thumb, *and* that the object he was after was Sith, you start to get an idea that maybe those guys at the intro are No Good, but this is never explained or confirmed. To a casual audience with no interest in additional materials, it just looks like Bad Ole Kylo Doing More Bad Ole Stuff. *sigh*

+Exogol and Palpatine’s hideout looks like the Borg Cube from Star Trek: First Contact from 1996. This really smacked me in the face how similar it was.

+Snoke’s significance getting sniped by Palpatine in one fell swoop felt like two five year olds arguing over action figures in the sandbox. “No! He’s dead now! Now the good guys can go on their quest!” “Well if he’s dead now, it’s only because MY guy was the REAL bad guy! DOOSHDOOSHDOOSHDOOSH!!” Like….really? At least Palpatine’s never-spoken-of Snoke manufacturing lab was vaguely interesting. Too bad we never saw anything about that- what a story of intergalactic puppet-masters that would have made! We’re not here for clever storytelling, though, so moving on…

+I don’t think they should have included Leia in this film. It really added to the disjointed nature of this movie with flat audio, crippled dialogue, and CGI where Leia only really had one facial expression for 90% of her appearances. It really wasn’t worth it. I know Star Wars doesn’t do flashbacks (which, frankly, I appreciate a lot), but I think they could have utilized the IDEA of Leia better than her actual self. Leia was forced, it showed, and it wasn’t good. Honestly they did a WAY better job reviving Tarkin in RO.

+An incredibly unnecessary amount of new information for the third act of a series was introduced in this film, starting with Leia suddenly being a well-trained Jedi or something. At least enough to ‘train’ Rey, which…frankly wasn’t believable. Leia having the force was a given. That she distanced herself from active application of the Force as a residual reaction to the bombshell of Darth Vader being her father is what is, and always has, made sense. THAT is a nuanced perspective, but it gets thrown out in favor of not just shoe-horning Leia in to the movie, but also because they had no idea what else to do with her at all in this film. This is also why Leia shouldn’t have been in this movie the way she was.

+Oh, you knew Palpatine was behind all this the whole time, Leia? Really? Always there, huh? When in TFA it was always snoke? Obvious dialogue lift is obvious, but the use of it was just Bad and inconsiderate to the story.

+Poe’s backstory was published on December 18th, 2015 in a book called “Before The Awakening” that details the lives of Poe, Finn, and Rey leading up to TFA. Poe is the son of two famous Rebel fighters and he grows up with a nice quiet life on Yavin 4 learning about ships and loving to fly. He goes straight from his home world to joining the Republic navy. It’s a handful of months before Leia Organa picks up on him and brings him into the Resistance. Now…this is a backstory that is JJ Abrams approved, has been out since 2015, and yet Oscar Isaac said he ‘never knew’ Poe’s backstory, and JJ somehow thinks four years later that there is space in this incredibly concise timeline for him to become a drug runner. What?? This was possibly the BIGGEST wtf moment for me in this film. What in the actual world. WHAT.

+Sidelining old characters to pointlessly introduce new ones does not serve a story, it clogs it up, drags down its rhythm, and confuses the hell out of it. As seen by Zorri and Jannah. And out of those two, only Jannah carried any kind of actual literary weight, because for Finn, he’s found more people like himself. This sort of setup is a typical play to foreshadow where Finn eventually settles down and goes at the end of the war. But this is never expounded on or explained further. It’s just, BOOM, more former troopers and a girl who is suddenly irrationally attached to him at all times.

+Rose gets replaced by Jannah, a brand new character that we only know one single thing about, and who gets to latch on to Finn out of the blue while Rose is left at home or on a ship. It was weird. It was obvious. It was incredibly awkward to watch. There was no point to Jannah clinging to Finn like this. She was reduced from a strong character to a cringy clingy one, while Finn’s love interest was completely ignored.

+The ‘Journey to The Rise of Skywalker’ comics released a couple weeks before the film heavily implied we’d get a lot of great Rose and Rey team time. We received none of it. It felt like someone had jerked a present away from us and it was a gross omission.

+It is only by the very end of the film and after multiple watches that you THINK they are trying to hint that Kylo is spiraling, thus why Leia steps in in death, but it never ever gets shown. Never once are we let in on Kylo’s state of mind. In fact, never once are we let in on *any* of these characters’ states of mind. We never really see what they are feeling or thinking or going through. Kylo is nothing but action when in TFA and TLJ we see him falling apart. This is what bad direction looks like, and it takes a Real Talent to fuck up directing an actor like Adam Driver. Another big sigh…

+There are only two cool things about this movie- The bleeding of reality between Kylo and Rey, and Palpatine’s shadow senate. When Kylo and Rey fight and the red bits go flying on the floor, it screamed serious TLJ aesthetics to me that I had to blink a moment. I think this ‘Bleed-through’ of their realities is the only TLJ hold-over we were allowed. It was a genuinely fascinating touch, which is how you know it didn’t come from *this* film’s production office.

+When you stick three people in a closet together, you expect some sort of progress in two-thirds of the potential relationships in such a cramped space. We received no such thing. Forced Trio Time resulted in no character development and seemed more like an unnecessary comic relief vehicle than anything.

+In ‘Before The Awakening’ and ‘Rey’s Survival Guide’, both publications printed under JJ Abrams’s blessing, we learn Rey named *herself* after a helmet she found in the desert. How is it Rey’s alleged parents know her fake name? Gross, gross plot-hole.

+Four years was spent emphasizing that you don’t have to come from anywhere ‘special’ to be Important to a big story. Then they threw it out. Post-TROS interview with JJ reveals it was because they ‘couldn’t think of how else to get rey engaged in fighting palpatine’. Because he wasn’t a nasty enough dude on his own? Seriously? This is pure negligence.

+Four years was also spent emphasizing that you also don’t even NEED the force to be important to the big story and make a huge difference to the future. But let’s throw that out, too, and give Finn the force. Clearly regular people are absolutely worthless in the Star Wars Universe, according to JJ Abrams.

+Finn is only used to babysit Rey the entire time they share screen time together. The number of times he shouts her name could be turned into a drinking game. It’s one thing to care about somebody, and another thing entirely to act like you’re their high school chaperone. The whole thing was weird and awkward.

+Zorri Bliss sounds like a stripper name and she served no purpose other than to shoehorn Felicity into a star wars movie. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Babu Frik is the only true-to-star-wars critter in this whole film.

+Leia literally goes and lays down on her own funeral spread? What was that about. And that’s what that was because why would her bed be out in the open like that? That was really, really weird. And the RoTJ medal throwback was just a tacky tether to the past.

+Everyone seems so irrationally tethered to the past in this film. Kylo Ren’s spent two movies desperate to ‘leave the past behind’ and I don’t blame him at this point because it’s getting exhausting.

+As stated previously, it’s only vaguely suspected but Kylo seemed to SUPPOSED to be spiraling. Adam Driver plays Kylo like a man finally free of the voices in his head, but the plot and dialogue point to an entirely different direction saying that REALLY the monsters have allegedly doubled-down and he’s even more unhinged than before. Here is a MAJOR indication of story re-working after the film has already been shot. Adam Driver, and Daisy for that matter, is a PRECISE actor. It seems almost impossible to tell a story with him that you did not originally MEAN to tell. And it shows. JJ tried to U-Turn the story but it absolutely failed- Adam’s Kylo Ren is a calm, free man, focused, who finally knows what his purpose in life is, and that is uniting with his Dyad in the force. When really JJ tried very hard to suggest that he was spiraling so hard and so ‘lost’ in the Dark Side that it took his mother’s last breath to swing him back around. No one is going to see that narrative. The only reason why I see this shoddy attempt is because I’ve been absolutely immersed in this shit since December 2015. But the main audience? This was absolutely not conveyed.

+Seeing Dark Side Rey was nothing but a ‘cool’ moment and actually served zero function to the plot. Rey was always shown as being Grey in the force and someone who struggled to maintain balance. If that whole scene was removed, it wouldn’t change anything.

+Kylo was never in a position to kill Rey on the Death Star, and Rey taking her cheap shot to stab him while he heard his mother’s voice is an attempt to convey how much seeing her Sith self affected her than Kylo’s already very faded aggression in this film but it failed. It was weird and out of character, and even coming to that conclusion took may rewatches to come to because there is NEVER a ramp-up to Rey’s darkside taking over long enough to stab Kylo- there’s no fire, no red eyes, no teeth, none of it, to indicate she was ‘overcome’ so it just looked like bad mischaracterization. Yikes.

+Kylo and Han’s moment on the Death Star is the most moving scene of the entire film. The dialogue starts out rather familiar, and it almost seems like a cop-out, until you realize….how many times has Ben had this conversation with himself?? He doesn’t seem shocked at all that his father is there. Not at all. In fact, that Last Conversation on the bridge of Starkiller comes off as a well-rehearsed dance that Ben puts himself through regularly. And every time he hopes it’ll be affirmation enough that it’s all been worth it. But here, at the last reenactment of the worst day of his life, the script changes. He surrenders. He says dad. And he rejects Kylo Ren forever. Harrison Ford and Adam Driver are two beautifully matched, talented actors and I’d watch a movie with the two of them in it any day. God bless them.

+Hux has been wasted for the past two films. He was Terrifying in TFA and Dom gave him such significant presence that I was genuinely terrified for what he might try in the future. But instead he was lost as comic relief. When it is comically delivered that HE is the spy, every single person in my movie theatre shouted “WHAT??” in a way that was not a Good what, but in a “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” kind of what, and I will never ever forget that. I hate seeing Star Wars diminished like this.

+Luke rehashing Obi-wan’s speech to him about how Rey MUST confront the Big Bad was an obvious rehash, and way too convenient to what Palpatine wanted. This whole appearance of Luke is very suspect, but that would be crediting them again with clever storytelling, which again this is not.

+Luke claims that Leia saw ‘the death of her son’ at the end of her Jedi Path, which one can assume why she threw it away. But then Luke says something bizarre about ‘hoping someone else would pick up her path someday’. Is that...is that not the same path leading to Ben’s death that she was avoiding in the first place? And if someone else picks it up, is that not no longer Leia’s path but that other person’s? Therefore, is not the outcome automatically going to be different and thus *avoid* Ben’s death? This was an attempt at supposedly clever foreshadowing or Mystical Talk or some shit, but all it was was dialogue that backfired in meaning spectacularly due to looping-in on itself too many times. Luke negates himself at the same time he tries to prove his point...which he then negates in the same breath. What a mess.

+All of Ben Solo’s lines were cut the last act of the film to stuff more pointless exposition at the END of film and to give more screen time to Ian McDiarmid. Ian’s great, but he’s not the main character of this series, and cutting Ben’s lines for this was Gross.

+Space Horses? Really?? I didn’t like them in TLJ but at least there they had context- they had zero context here. The size of the horses and the ship they came off of was absurdly mismatched. Is that ship the TARDIS? That whole bit was so unnecessary and ridiculous, especially with zero setup. Which is amazing because this film is 90% set-up.

+All those ships at the end? That’s all it took? After books and comics going on about how everyone’s too terrified to help Leia because of FO scorched earth policy? Jesus it was weak, and too obvious a Deus ex Machina with THAT many ships.

+Palpatine’s Shadow Senate is cool. The idea that this guy trapped on an ugly planet stuck on Sith life-support couldn’t go two seconds without attention and praise to the point where he had to recreate the exact same senate he destroyed years ago is a concept I like. Is the Shadow Senate just in the *shape* of the old senate but filled with animated Sith proxies? Or is it actually comprised of the enslaved souls of former Senators now forced to attend the Emperor for eternity? Either way, destroying the Shadow Senate at least either set those souls free or sent them back to wherever they came from. That was actually interesting, and it’s a shame we didn’t get to learn more about such a genuinely creepy thing.

+Palpatine’s ‘we’re family’ routine drops the moment he realizes Ben and Rey are a dyad. This is suspicious, but considering the whole movie so far, it seems incorrect to giver JJ and Torrio credit for a possible mis-direct.

+Rey and Ben’s realities bleeding into each other is experienced again in swapping the light saber. This is cool. This is probably the coolest moment in the film. And then the coolness literally gets thrown into a pit when, instead of the both of them, as a Dyad, defeating Palpatine, Rey is left to carry the burden alone.

+Oh hey look a cop-out to save Rey from being bad- just have her reflect his own power back at him so it’s like he’s killing himself, wow, so original! The second Palpy revealed his gameplan about wanting to die, this became the obvious choice to both kill him and avoid giving him what he wanted. Eh….

+The Star Wars 9-movie series is the story of one man desperately begging anyone within hearing range to kill him, apparently. This is so, so old by the 9th friggin movie.

+Ben Solo spends his entire life begging for guidance from his ancestors only to be ignored and Rey get all their attention instead. Ben Solo spends his entire life since the womb being a burden to his parents by merely existing and being manipulated by gross sith ghosts. But nah, let’s be parents to Rey and help out Rey. This is not to say she doesn’t deserve any of this, but to say there are priorities here- Rey has had a lonely life, but at least she had her sanity and was self-sufficient. Ben had neither his sanity or any control over his own life whatsoever. And to place Rey above Ben is a literal mess. The two of them were meant by the Force to rise TOGETHER, and it didn’t happen.

+Rey doesn’t disappear when she ‘dies’ after using the last of her life force to both feed Palpatine, fight him, AND defeat him. And yet while Rey has two strikes in her before kicking it, Ben, someone who is RADICALLY more trained in the force, its lore, and mechanics, only has one? This doesn’t make any sense.

+Rey has no reaction to the literal other half of her soul vanishing in front of her. Because this is a mangled JJ Abrams Finale(tm) and why should anyone, let alone his own characters, have any space to Feel? I mean, that’s not what movies are even about, right? Feeling and Telling A Story? It’s not that, right? Right?? JJ Abrams covers up Rey’s reaching-hands scar on her arm for the entire film, doesn’t address it, and apparently hates the shit out of it. I don’t know how the King of Cheese could possibly hate something like that. It was a weird and obvious omission, and frankly disappointing because the scar had come to mean something at the end of TLJ and it, like a lot in this film, got thrown in the trash.

+More forced trio time in the form of a group hug where nothing gets actually expressed because we ran out of space for dialogue 30 pages back.

+Anakin Skywalker viewed Tatooine, his place of enslavement, as the worst place in the galaxy. Luke Skywalker spent his entire youth trying to escape. Leia hated it on principle because it was where Darth Vader came from and where she herself had been enslaved in a gross gold bikini for a giant slug. Rey spent 14 years of her life dreaming of leaving the sand planet she was trapped on. But I guess that’s a fitting place to bury some memories, yeah? The place where nothing good ever, ever happened. That’s a nice spot, right?

+Rey Skywalker isn’t explained, is never led up to, and feels like a gross gimmie after four years of trying to create a Better Message that names don’t matter. HEAVY SIGH.

+Rey watches the two suns set as she is left with little more than she started- alone, on a sand planet, but this time taunted by the Twin Suns of Tatooine that the other half of her soul is literally missing and that she is now left with a gaping wound in her Force signature and her own spirit worse than if she’d just lost a Force Bonded mate.

+Ben Solo is left missing, vanished on a world that is supposedly a thin spot in the force, with no ghost, no presence, and no one to mourn him- not even by the other half of his very soul. THREE GENERATIONS of Skywalkers over NINE FILMS died to try and rescue their future embodied in the form of Ben Solo and it looks like it was for nothing. Instead, the incessant bad guy no one can move on from looks like he ultimately wins the day through an alleged granddaughter, and even that claim is on shaky ground considering the mistakes in the vision and how quickly the family conversation vanished upon the revelation that Ben and Rey are a dyad. Ben is lost, so every family member died for nothing, apparently. But hey, this is a Fun and Hopeful narrative, right?

+While the Final Order fleet is destroyed at the end, the First Order is.....still out there? It’s still out there. Nothing in that department has changed whatsoever. Leaders die. They get replaced. The cycle goes on. We spent three movies batting at a fly we didn’t even kill. Amazing.

Overall this movie is BRUTAL. Every other scene is a plot hole served to us on a silver platter, with the biggest insult being that they are plot points JJ created HIMSELF 4-6 years ago. This man literally shot himself in the face and then said it was fine as he bled out all over the film reels and it shows. If you were anyone who came along for the Additional Materials ride of the past four years, you were greeted by this film with a hard, swift, and REPEATED, backhand to the face. There was no reward here at the end of this road for fans, old and new, who actually paid attention and took an interest in the deeper lore surrounding this sequel trilogy. There was just a big fat Disney-branded middle finger as all your hard work and cash was ripped from you with a trademark villain laugh.

And that is what we’re left with.

This review does not go into detail over what we’ve discovered since the release of the film, either. That it was never finished in the editing room. That a current comic series, Rise of Kylo Ren, and what’s in the new TROS visual dictionary maddeningly contradict themselves. That allegedly SIX different endings were shot for this movie, and in the end the one they chose looks like it was *literally* reverse-engineered to confusingly kill, as JJ once called him, ‘The Other Half of Our Protagonist’. There is no time to go into detail about how Oscar Isaac just told us that noone in the cast knew that Rey Palpatine was going to be endgame except for maybe Adam when they made him do ADR declaring it with a masked face on screen (convenient). There is no room to show you the collective cast reaction they all gave to the end of the movie- none of them good, and John Boyega looking like he was holding back from punching something (he loved Kylo/Ben as much as the audience did and more). And there is no room to include what we will continue to find out as the days roll on about the tangled mess of a film that was edited and reedited, and how word on the street is a cocky director demanded Carte Blanche from Kathleen Kennedy, and I guess the story group too given the state of things, and then promptly self-destructed in the grossest, messiest end to a 40+ year series in cinema history.

There’s just no space.

But there IS a lesson.

And the lesson is this: No matter what, never stop investing in Story. Never stop caring about the details and about plot and about moving a story FORWARD. Never be afraid to move FORWARD. Look at TROS, the mess it is and the potential it had it in itself to be, and then look at the beauty that is TFA and the love that went into TLJ, and study that shit until it burns into your brain- Do not repeat those mistakes. Go out into the world and write better, shoot better, direct better, and BE BETTER. Because these producers and directors? They’re old and they’re on their way out. Just like the stable boy at the end of TLJ who secretly has the Force, know and realize that those of you out there reading this are the next generation of storytellers. YOU. And YOU, and I, and others out there like us who loved this series with our whole heart and who are watching it bleed out now on a floor that doesn’t give two shits about it, have the ability to make sure this NEVER happens again. But in order to do that….we have to pick up that pen. Pick up that pencil. Pick up that camera. Jot down that story idea and share it with likeminded friends. Go out there and CREATE, and create BETTER. Because it’s up to us now- the future of cinema is up to us. And my god, we have so much potential….

#reylo #@starwars #star wars #TROS #The Rise of Skywalker

376 notes · View notes

shiny-meowstics · 3 years

Text

still thinking about the dumbass lindsay ellis situation and like, yeah, putting it lightly she's had a fuck ton of stupid takes and posts; she could've been a little more eloquent and turned down the snark about 10% in her video (even if i absolutely get why she'd take that tone) but like also

clearly i decided i did not love myself enough yesterday and part of today because, out of morbid curiosity, i went scrolling through her name in trending and oh my fucking goddd 75% of the people giving their "takes" are so fucking insufferable and end up directly justifying a lot of the points she makes, for better or worse.

there are handfuls of legitimate critiques and concerns about her character and actions, there's the issue of her still associating with contrapoints and there was a former friend who shared their own personal experiences with her that Do Not Help with painting lindsay in a better light, but like spacing out those posts are fucking hoards of unapologetically smug dickheads for and against her

you get one side lording about how "[nerd voice] haha i'm not watching that feature film length video about the white woman crying and saying ~I'm not racist whaaat~ what i said wasn't racist~" (she doesn't say that. like she regularly, continually makes a point of saying that she's not even going to pretend to do that because she knows she's a fucking white chick with internalized biases from her even more ignorant white family, believe it or not some white people are actually pretty self aware even if/when they slip up with microaggressions. you can't expect everyone to be on point with anti-racism all the time; this isn't me excusing her bc it still falls to her to properly address her own biases when they're pointed out but this is just. a thought)

and there's other people in that camp saying "oh wah wah she rage quit from twitter and made a 100+ minute video whining because she got ratio'd, it's not that big a deal, she could've just tweeted an apology and shut up, she's blaming AAPI for getting mad at her for calling them crazies" to which i say, did we see the same shit go down that night?? yeah it was fucking stupid of her to double down but also most people that night were trying to clown on her for, at best, a lukewarm take and mildly condescending response? (the amount of people reaching because she used the real-ass normal figure of speech "if you squint" is absurd. it was unfortunate phrasing but she obviously was not intentionally being racist there, PLEASE go touch some fucking grass, i fucking bet most of y'all getting offended by that aren't even AAPI. if i'm crossing any lines please tell me, i will apologize, but the way i see it it's just. sooo fucking stupid and so far of a reach that mj in space jam would be jealous)

nevermind the tried and true method of "YES my time has arrived, i will now drag every problematic thing this person has done into the public eye, i will not check to see if any of this has ever been publicly addressed or resolved and not check if there's proof of them actively doing those harmful things anyway bc who needs to see that, i'm already spending time getting receipts and that context isn't necessary to ANYONE with my fair and true and just argument, and i will END their career for the PEOPLE" like cool! lindsay gave context, i don't know if it's the full and objective context because it's what she and she alone has chosen to share! you weaken your argument by not giving yourself more substantial proof outside of "look, this happened!" twitter character limit clearly isn't an issue if you're gonna make a long-ass thread anyway, if you wanna prove somebody's objectively a piece of shit then don't fucking half-ass it

then you get the OTHER side being dismissive towards people regardless of how legit their criticisms are because "oh well she addressed everything and apologized for it all!" she apologized for some things and admitted some things were stupid and she should've thought it over more, but there was still a fair bit of meandering and her... again... being dismissive because even if she sees how the things she said could be taken the wrong way, she still doesn't think what she said was wrong. like fam i'm sorry, even if she made good points she is not wholly in the right, and getting overly defensive just because even with context people are still critical of her is just a stupid move. she's far from anyone in a real position of power or great influence but like, if people still want her to hold more accountability for her words and actions then it's not your place to tell them that they're wrong "because she addressed and apologized for it."

i dunno. i just feel like a lot of people need to realize that a) it's not that fucking deep and she is not literally racist hellspawn and b) it's not that fucking deep, and while it's frustrating that she gets chased off twitter while the likes of the fucking game grumps still get to hang around despite THEIR sketchy fucking past actions, recent or otherwise, she also is not some poor innocent martyr free from blame

#rah rambles about random crap don't mind her #idk. the internet's fucking stupid and i've learned to stay in my lane #under the cut it's long

5 notes · View notes

zxanthe · 4 years

Text

jealousy

for @soulxmakaweek day 3: jealousy

also available on ao3 and ff.net

side note: The Soul Eater manga was first released in 2004.

It isn’t that Soul is jealous, exactly.

Maka is, beneath the know-it-all and vaguely homicidal exterior, a kind person. It’s one of the things he likes most about her. He remembers the first time he played the piano for her – it feels like a lifetime ago, now – how she’d smiled and clapped after he finished, even though he knew she didn’t get it, really. But the wonder sparkling there in her green eyes, the open and gut-wrenching genuineness of the delight and enjoyment brazenly plastered on her face – no one had ever looked at him like that in his whole entire life, and even though he didn’t let it show he knew right then and there he’d follow this girl to the ends of the earth if she asked him to.

When she enfolds Crona in an embrace instead of dealing a killing blow, he doesn’t bother trying to keep the fond smile off his face, because that’s so typical of her. Always taking in strays.

So that’s why he wonders if it’s the madness, not just in him but in the world now that the Kishin Asura is free and raging, that makes a hard knot of something nagging and awful weigh in his chest like a stone when he sees Maka and Crona together. The Little Demon doesn’t help at all, always whispering ugly little nothings in the quiet in-between moments when he’s brushing his teeth or picking at the guitar he keeps on the wall of his room, things like she only cares about your weapon form you know and she loves them more than she ever loved you and (worst of all) she’s going to realize who you are and leave.

(It’s not like he isn’t used to people leaving. His father left him in all but name, preferring to shut himself up in his studio rather than deal with his children. His brother left him to go to college and make a name for himself. His grandmother left the planet entirely, going wherever dead people go.)

But he knows, deep down in his gut, that Maka isn’t like that. She takes her commitments seriously. She’s his meister, and he’s her weapon. He has to trust her. Has to trust that she wouldn’t leave him unless something bad happened. Something really, really bad.

Like a new best friend? the demon whispers, not bothering to hide the malicious glee in his voice. Soul just grits his teeth and tells him to shut the fuck up.

(He doesn’t want to resent either of them, despite the demon’s urgings and his own idiot, uncool feelings.)

But he can’t deny the reality - it feels like she spends more time with Crona than him nowadays. Soul isn’t exactly averse to that, but it still rankles, because Maka used to spend most of her time with him, or at least around him. But the kid’s had a hard life, harder than his by a long shot, and someone like Maka is good for them. In the short time they’ve been at the DWMA, Soul’s noticed them coming out of their shell a little more each day. It makes him wonder if he was something like that when he first arrived, fresh from New York, a fish out of water.

So that’s why, when Maka invites Crona over for a movie night one Friday after classes, he doesn’t object, despite the way his chest tightens a little.

“I-is that okay?” Crona asks, darting nervous glances towards Soul, who’s standing a little ways behind Maka. He doesn’t really know Crona all that well yet. The sentiment is mutual. Soul cringes inwardly, equal parts ashamed and nervous and just a little satisfied, damn it damn it not cool at all!

“’Course it is,” Soul makes himself say, and hopes that nobody notices the way his voice threatens to crack. “It’s Maka’s turn to cook, though, so you might wanna, uh. Eat beforehand.”

Maka rounds on him, her green eyes narrowed. “At least I don’t burn freaking rice!”

“Yeah, yeah, I was making a joke. Is that a crime?”

“Well, it wasn’t very funny.” She turns back to Crona with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, tonight at 7 sound good? We can meet you at the Skullbuster.”

“Um…will there be many other p-people there? Besides you and…S-Soul?”

Maka shakes her head and smiles reassuringly. “No, don’t worry. I know large get-togethers still stress you out. It’ll just be us three.”

Crona darts one more glance at Soul. He’d smile, but his face feels like wood and his teeth would probably scare the kid half to death. He settles for a nod instead. One cool guy to another. Crona smiles hesitantly. “Yeah. That s-sounds great.”

“You good?” Maka asks him, once they’re outside the school and have said their goodbyes to their friends.

He shoots her a questioning look. “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You just felt a little off earlier, that’s all,” she says.

Damn her and her soul perception. Soul just shakes his head. “Maybe your soul perception is just malfunctioning.”

She whaps him with the paperback she’s carrying in her hand. “Rude!”

“Ow, fuck you too!”

They walk down to the Skullbuster after Maka finishes cooking, leaving a plate of brownies cooling on the counter and a foil tray of mac n’ cheese being kept warm in the oven. Soul doesn’t think he’ll ever get over their whacko naming conventions in Death City – did they really have to replace the classic Blockbuster logo with a lurid blue and yellow skull biting a movie ticket with its cartoonishly sharp teeth? No, no they didn’t, but they did anyway, so here they fucking are. Soul shoots it a cautious look – it’s definitely more interesting than the usual, all things considered. Crona’s already waiting for them directly beneath the sign, a tall slim figure in their black – robe? Dress? Soul still isn’t sure what to make of it. He raises his hand in a wave as Maka calls out a greeting and bounds over to give them a hug. Soul ignores the twinge in his chest, gritting his teeth at the echo of laughter he hears from the demon.

Crona still looks spooked at the contact, but at least they raise their arms and pat her awkwardly on the back this time. Progress. Soul offers them a fist. Crona looks at it uncomprehendingly.

“Fistbump,” says Soul. Jesus, poor kid. “You make your hand into a fist – yeah, like that, now tap it with mine.”

Crona does so, feather-light and hesitant. Soul offers them a smile and then withdraws his fist, wiggling his fingers as he does so. Crona imitates him, awkwardly and with a slight frown.

“See, easy,” says Soul, cringing inwardly. He shouldn’t have done the finger wiggle, dammit, Crona wouldn’t get it and it just made them feel weird, ugh, why is he like this?

Maka, meanwhile, is smiling at the display. She reaches for Crona’s hand, easily, naturally, and leads them into the store. Soul trails after them, trying valiantly to ignore the way the knot in his chest aches.

“So, whatcha wanna watch?” Maka asks Crona, whose eyes widen in fear in the face of making an evening-altering decision.

“It’s okay,” says Maka gently. “Soul and I are fine with whatever you pick, right Soul?”

“Yeah,” Soul says, though secretly he’s hoping that Crona doesn’t pick a kids’ movie or a rom-com or something boring like that. He’d probably end up falling asleep, and then Maka’d get pissed at him, and he’d probably be woken up by a hardcover to the head.

“Take your time!” says Maka. “Dinner’s already ready, we’re in no rush.”

Crona nods but seems content to follow Maka around the store as she drifts from section to section. They gently shake their head at all the titles Maka holds up – mostly cheesy feel-good flicks or (dammit Maka) live-action Disney movies. Soul’s eye is caught by the horror section, and after a quick glance at the other two he drifts towards it. There’s a lot of DVDs on the shelves – they really need to get a DVD player, this is ridiculous – but there’s still plenty of VHS tapes. He hunkers down into a squat, examining some more recent titles, when Crona’s voice comes from above him, startling him in its proximity.

“How about that one?” they ask, and Soul looks up to see them holding a notoriously gory and barf-inducing horror film. Soul hasn’t seen it personally, but he’s heard the stories.

Soul quirks an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” he asks, at the same time that Maka says “Uh, I’m not sure you’d like it very much…”

“I want this one,” Crona says, a note of certainty in their voice. Soul suppresses a grin, seeing Crona in a new light. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.

They pick out two other movies, an action flick and some kind of weird documentary (palate cleansers, Soul thinks), before heading back to the apartment. Ragnarok erupts from Crona’s back at the mention of dinner and is only kept from devouring both his and his meister’s share by Maka angrily wielding her heaviest dictionary. They don’t talk much because everyone’s too busy eating. Soul won’t admit it, but Maka makes a mean mac n’ cheese. Even Crona goes back for seconds. Afterwards Maka grabs the plate of brownies and they all drift into the living room and settle on the couch, Maka in the middle.

“Oh, damn!” Maka exclaims as soon as her butt touches the cushions. “I forgot to get popcorn! I’m going to run down to the convenience store – don’t you dare eat all those brownies, Ragnarok, or I will kill you!”

The door slams shut. “Stupid bitch,” Ragnarok mutters, and starts hassling Crona for a brownie. Crona, surprisingly, holds their ground, and eventually Ragnarok subsides back into Crona, grousing all the while.

The apartment is suddenly too quiet. Blair is out, Soul thinks, glancing around in mild panic. Crona doesn’t say anything.

Put them in their place, the demon growls. Soul clenches his hand into a fist, nails digging into the skin of his palm.

“So, uh,” Soul begins, and then stops, because he has no idea where he’s going with this. He shoots a quick glance at Crona. They’re not looking at him, and instead are pressed against the hard metal arm of the sofa.

Something in Soul softens. “Hey,” he tries again. Crona’s eyes dart to his before flitting back to their lap. Inwardly, Soul grimaces. He’s never been the best at talking to people or making friends, not like Maka. “Uh, did you manage to get all your homework done today?”

Ugh. Lame, stupid, uncool!

“N-no,” says Crona softly.

“Eh, no biggie,” Soul says, trying for jocular and coming out strained. “You’ve still got a whole weekend.”

Silence falls again. The remote is on the coffee table, beside the brownies. Soul wonders if he should grab it and turn on the TV. Something, anything to diffuse this awkwardness. Soul notices out of the corner of his eye that Crona keeps glancing at him now, like they want to say something but can’t quite manage it. Soul sucks on his bottom lip. Maybe he should –

“Do you hate me?” Crona blurts.

Soul flinches, startled and ashamed in equal measure. “No, why would I,” he says, before his brain catches up with his mouth and he looks down at his chest, at the scar covered by the soft cotton of his t-shirt. It’s still a bit pink and raw, and it aches if he stretches his torso too much in any direction. He looks at Crona. “No,” he repeats, quieter this time.

Crona stares at him uncomprehendingly. “B-but I…” They make a slashing motion. Their hand is trembling slightly, Soul notes.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “And I’d do it all over again.” He smiles, and it’s more genuine than any he’s given Crona thus far. “That shit’s in the past. You’re here now, and you’re trying to be better. It’s the soul that counts, y’know?”

“S-so…you don’t hate me?”

“Not at all,” Soul says. “I’m a lot like you, actually. People scare me too.”

Crona blinks. “R-really?”

Soul nods. “Yeah. I used to live in New York. When I first got off the plane I was scared shitless, didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. And now I feel more at home here than I ever did there.”

They’re listening raptly, and when Soul finishes, they swallow. “How…how did you…stop being scared?”

“I never did. But Maka and Black Star and the others are a big help.” He chuckles fondly. He feels lighter. The demon is quiet. “It’s what friends are for.”

When Maka comes back, Soul and Crona are chatting easily and munching on brownies. They greet her and she smiles, evidently happy that they’re getting along. When she returns from the kitchen with an overflowing bowl of popcorn, Crona shifts so that they’re sitting in the middle of Maka and Soul. Ragnarok emerges to gorge himself on popcorn and brownies while Soul pops the horror tape in the VHS.

The movie is so gory that it makes even Soul and Maka’s battle-hardened stomachs turn, but Crona and Ragnarok seem to be enjoying themselves. They make it through the documentary and about one-third of the action flick before Crona falls asleep on Soul’s shoulder.

“They seem like they’ve really warmed up to you,” Maka says quietly over Crona’s head. “What did you guys talk about when I was gone?”

Soul shrugs. “Nothing much, really.”

“That so?”

“Yeah.”

Maka just shakes her head and smiles.

#soulxmakaweek #somaweek2020 #somaweek #soulxmaka #soma #soul eater #soul eater fanfiction #soul/maka #se by z #zxanthe writes sometimes

65 notes · View notes

blankdblank · 3 years

Text

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 28

“Hey Richy Rich,” you said with your phone on the bed on speaker as you stood one legged hunched over removing your shoes.

In a chuckle he asked, “Juggling with your shoes again,”

“This zipper, hates me.” Even Lee chuckled while easing his tie looser and you asked, “How is England? Perfectly misty?”

“Yes, you are missing the morning moors, my Love. So, tell me how the film went. And I will be expecting reactions from Lee as well.” Stirring a smirk onto his face being included.

All through the film was shared as you changed into sweats and a sweater with thick fuzzy socks added while Lee had sweats and a t shirt ending up sitting beside you flipping through the muted tv channels for something to fall asleep to. “So what are the plans after this?”

“Well I was heading back to the apartment for some more lounging time but Lee keeps trying to goad me to Canada to try out for a spot on his show starting in January.”

Richard, “Ooh, where does that film?”

Lee smirked answering, “By Niagara Falls.”

Richard, “My film is shooting near there, and a bit farther north, but you should give it a go we could get a place by his. Scope it out.”

Rolling your eyes to Lee’s beaming grin you said, “I’m counting this as a coup.”

Richard chuckled, “You know you’d end up at one of our sets either way, if they are needing actors best get paid for your time anyways.”

“Fine, I will try out for the girl who talks to inanimate objects.”

Lee, “You will love the show. It’s more than just that.”

From cuddled up in your own beds to the credits when Richard had long since hung up sleep was hoarded as long as possible until Lee grumbled through picking up the wake up call and warning they would call the taxi for you. Smiling at his hitting the button in your Polaroid to capture your mess of arms and curls right before the struggle to get up out of bed would ensue.

Airport breakfast came with his frozen grin locked your way making you say, “I said I’d audition, don’t you go getting excited like I already got the part.”

“Well, when we land I’ll give them a call see when the next open audition is and we can head up for you to see my place.”

“How is it?”

“It is a palace compared to my place in New York.” Making you giggle, “Two bedrooms with a bath and kitchen, separate, with hot water and a few closets.”

“Look at you all fancy.” Making him chuckle again.

“Still only has an inflatable mattress but I could spring for some lawn chairs for company.”

“How little we actually need when we are just starting out.”

“No doubt with Richard you could afford something much bigger.”

“We don’t need bigger. I have bigger.”

That had him laugh and you giggle as he said, “You have a bed and a half.”

“And a bath and a half, plus closet and sitting room with living and seating room. Little mansion of my own. See, bigger. When would I ever find another like it. You buy a penthouse you got to clean a penthouse.”

“Ugh, just keeping the mildew off the tiles in my kitchen shower is hard enough.”

“Have you tried that mint soap I told you about?”

“Couldn’t find it.”

“Mmm, I’ll show you when we get back.”

Waves from a few of the workers in the diner you’d chosen had you grinning in one of the young ladies timid trot over holding the same magazine you’d posed in the last time you came to California. “Could you sign this?” Just about turned to tears at her lack of a pen until you shook your head reaching into your carry on bag bringing one out that you almost giggled through the half paragraph of a message she wanted. Back again she hurried squealing to her excited friends showing it off as you finished up eating through Lee’s hushed chuckles and muttered comments. Once on your feet to throw trash away turning for the doorway however found a few more workers on their breaks with scattered bits of paper and old newspapers for you to sign for them as well along with Lee. Who after a confirmation of his drop in on Law and Order took turns with your pen as well bashfully scribbling his name for the small crowd that scattered as fast as it had gathered freeing you back to your gate.

Loudly a shriek had you gripping Lee’s arm and a woman hurried over, “Milla Jovovich!”

Once at your side she shoved a magazine in your palms you looked to then up again, “No-,”

“Oh my gosh I can’t wait until all my friends hear I ran into you!!”

Instantly her phone was on and she was calling some woman named Timberlie and you glanced up at Lee asking softly, “How do you spell that name?”

Lee shrugged and you rolled your eyes marking an M followed by a squiggle and the same after what could either be a J or a Y to be safe. Timidly onto the half wall behind her on her pacing around the gate you left the magazine and marker and backed away creeping to the check in gate leaving her to her fantasy encounter. With a grin you reached into your bag to hand over your boarding passes to the just about giggling woman behind the counter who read your name and you asked, “Do I look like Milla Jovovich?”

“I mean, I guess, if you kinda close your eyes a bit. Ignore the hair and the eyes, and I think she’s taller. And not so, curvy.”

“Thought so.”

Lee, “Was she the one in that space film with Bruce Willis?”

“I think that was her name.”

Lee looked you over and said, “They got the Russian part right. Hmm, fun times.”

“Not for her when she finds out.”

Making the woman chuckle and pass your tickets back, “I don’t think that matters, Honey. Just made her year it seems. Either way should be boarding soon. She’s up in first class so she won’t bother you.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, honey.”

Once in the seats you sighed and looked to Lee asking, “I’m guessing you have your script with you?”

His smile split wider and in the tucking of your legs onto the seat with knees laid across his leg closest to yours. Scoring closer he passed you the script saying, “Just the one for the pilot, but it’s so good. Just ignore the post its.”

Into your palms the script for Wonderfalls settled and you cracked the cover page hearing the woman squealing to her friend that you were reading a script making the woman behind the counter wonder who you might actually be as she didn’t recognize your name or face exactly. “I work in the gift shop, nice. Tons of retail background.” Making Lee chuckle as you turned from the first page, commenting on first how you got he powers and smiling as oh smirked at the actions the little figurine told you to take to ‘save the day’ as others would in various situations throughout the show.

A call to board had you holding a finger in the script page folded around it as Lee grabbed both your carry on bags following you back to the desk once pretty much everyone else was boarded. Letting you take up your seat in the back of the plane so very far from the woman up front no doubt having expected to have been seated near you. Five hours two bags of pretzels and tiny cans of v8 later and you sighed relenting to Lee after he’d shared from his post it packed notebook on all he’d studied up on the subject his character had his degree in centered around religions of the world that comes into question when he learns about what gift his sister now has. To his puppy dog stare you sighed out, “It does sound like it’d be fun. Doubt I’d have to do much romancing in it.”

“Oh you’ll have a crush, I think, at best a date. No throwing down in this show from what we were told except for my character and Tracy.”

“Wow,” Making him chuckle bashfully.

“Just a shirtless post tryst scene. She agreed to bra and quick pop into jeans after. I will be wearing pants. Just a few make out scenes after so many episodes of rivaling banter.”

“I do love a good enemies to lovers tale.” Making him smile again, “So, who am I crushing on? How does he look? Am I going for muscle head or average joe with a heart of gold or do I have to gag through the falling for the bad boy cliche?”

“I think, joe? He’s not too muscular. Tyron Leitso, he kind of looks a bit like me, blue eyes though. Ooh, he was in Dinotopia, the one breaking all the rules.”

“Ok, haven’t seen that one yet.” you said with a nod. “But I can always pester him with my Dino knowledge, good.” Making him chuckle again.

“Yes we can see that when we get back, I have a copy of the tapes, and our sister is blonde,”

“Bit of a mish mash family picture we have.”

“Yes, she doesn’t like either of us very much but likes me more for having accomplished something.”

“Nice,” you replied through a giggle.

“Apparently also secretly gay.”

“Ooh,” Making him chuckle again, “That should be an interesting twist. Hope we bond over the fact I’m not going to be a dick bout that.”

“Not sure yet. There is some bonding. Mostly you’ll be working with me, which was why it was so stunning the other actress dropped out, sort of leaves me hanging.”

“Must be a very tall tree,” you teased making him smirk again in easing his tray table up while you slid your bag back under your seat readying for the landing he took your hand for.

“Ha ha.”

Outside the gate you exited through following the crowd to the packed halls back out to the familiar luggage claim you kept to his side hoping that lady wouldn’t follow trying to ask you more about a woman you could barely recall the face of in your mind outside of her makeup covered self.

Just the eyes stuck, yet with bags on your backs to the shuttle you went passing the flashes of cameras that went off in your exit you and Lee gave quick grins to and continued along. Apparently one of those friends had called the press and after your semi known self was photographed by a couple of the cameramen the others waited murmuring about the better known actress they didn’t realize was coming to New York. You would have giggled if you hadn’t known that a few of those guys lived off those paydays and missing out could be bad for them if they didn’t make it up somehow with another find.

With burgers and fries across a towel laid out on your bed you watched the films on your vhs player refusing to move the tv to the sitting room only to have to move it back later. “He did not just quote Queen,” Lee chuckled around his mouthful and you groaned, “Ugh, and she bought it.”

A bit later you grinned at the ping pong scene, “Aww, Zippo. Now I’m going to have dreams about Dinos for weeks. Cyrus and the Lord Mayor, have to add them to my dream costar list.”

“I think Capt Oonu should narrate books. Such a great voice.” You giggled as he said, “I would listen to whatever he narrated.”

“Rosemary, I’ve seen her in something. The face isn’t clicking but I’ve heard her voice before. And it’s just picking at me.”

“Same as Zippo, I’ve heard that voice.”

Hours you watched the films then to the sunrise you caught his eye and he asked, “Did you want to go pick up our tickets?”

That had you giggling, “You want to leave today?” He blinked at you and you sighed, “Just a day trip or should I bring a bag?”

“Just a day trip.”

You shook your head and sighed, “You could have said something at the airport.”

“But I had to get my package from the desk.” That had you giggle and say, “Alright, let me at least change my shirt.” You said heading to the closet tugging the t shirt off to pull on a clean spaghetti strap tank top you put on under a nicer t shirt not coated in sun stains, though both kept inching up over your middle causing you to grab a baggy flannel and your jacket. Hastily you brushed your teeth as he did the same using his kit from his bag you dropped at his place on the way down along with his package from his grandma out in Oklahoma he would unwrap later. Grabbing a book to go through you added to your bag along with a spare resume and headshot you shouldered. The apartment was locked up and down you went to meet him in the lobby where he hung up from his call to the office for the show he confirmed an open audition was going to be started by the time you got there.

“Will they be open at least or will we be absurdly early?”

“They are open, bit curious why I called about it, they did ask if I’d be up to being there for some run throughs last week. Said I was on my way up.”

“Nice,” you teased through his chuckle on your joint way out of the building back into the chilly air bound for chillier weather off to the airport again. Widely you grinned to the man behind the counter you had waved to on his way in as you were on the way out with narrowed eyes trying to figure out on his own why you were back so soon. “Got ambushed with a request to go to Canada.”

“Is that so,” he said flatly shifting his hands to type up the flights off to Canada. “We have one in thirty minutes.”

“Perfect.” He looked you over accepting your cash and ID for the ticket and you giggled saying, “Don’t worry, this is my second to last flight today.”

“You want a round trip then?”

“Um, I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be coming back tonight, or how long this audition will take. So no thank you, I’ll just have to pester them to fly me back at their desk.”

That had him chortle and roll his eyes, “I swear, you are here more than me sometimes.”

“Just wait till December, no doubt they’ll hang up my picture, number one customer right here.” You giggled out taking the ticket and cards he passed you back guiding you along to the security desk where the guard outside gave you the same giggle inducing once over.

“Don’t you have a home?” He teased taking your bag for the box to scan as you undid your belt to add to the box along with the odd combination of coins and a weird bottle cap you found earlier.

Lee chuckled and said, “My fault, she’s helping me on a show I’m filming with in January. Last minute drop out we need a new female lead.”

The guard said after you passed through the metal detector, “Two kids your age should not be flying this much. I couldn’t afford baseball tickets when I was your age.”

“Ooh, but my Grandpa got me this credit card, I get miles now.”

“Miles,” the other guard chuckled out shaking his head helping Lee through the detector.

The excited smile on your face had him shaking his head and you giggling, “Don’t miss your flight. And hurry back to get some sleep.”

“I’m on vacation till December after this, tons of time to sleep.”

“And I best not see either of you till then.” He called back as you both filled your pockets and hurried off with bags in hand to your gate in time to check in and file in for a mid plane seat this time.

One hour didn’t seem very long at all as once the wheels came up your head tapped his arm and you were blinking awake at his gentle nudge awake when the call for landing was given. The time skip showing how tired you didn’t realize you were. Still a ruffle of your loose curls you twisted up into an unrestrained ponytail you let go of for a moment of cool air on your neck and up you stood joining everyone else for the file out of the plane following Lee who had commandeered your bag as if to force a hostage situation.

Just a simple call warning he was coming and outside the airport was a driver who was on the phone, apparently passing on the news Lee was here shockingly with a guest. A bit confused he opened the door for Lee, who let you in first to follow after leaving the driver muttering about what you looked like. Softly you asked, “You did tell them I was coming, right?”

“Nope,” he said with a smile making you scoff and shake your head turning it to look up the window as the driver hopped in and hung up.

“Off to the studio we go!” He said cheerfully but stole yet another glance at you in the mirror.

Breaking the silence Lee said, “Tracy is gonna flip seeing you again.” Drawing your eyes to him with brow arched up. “Oh don’t, I told people I knew you when you won the Tony and were all over the press and I got so many stares like I was lying.”

“So you just show up with me?” You giggled out earning a nod from him in return before his huff and slide closer to let you lean against his chest through a peck on your forehead. “Incorrigible.”

“Always.” He said settling his cheek on top of your head settling in for the forty minute drive.

“You did not bring Jaqi Pear!” The voice was loud and clear from Tracy who was walking out of the studio office. Lee was blocking the view of his guest for the curious secretary peering through the window on the door behind Tracy who was tasked with finding out who Lee had brought and if they were meant to entertain them or not.

Once out Lee smiled saying, “Hey Tracy, look who I brought.”

Stepping aside for you to hop out making her let out an excited squeal of a sound closing the distance for a hug luring another face possibly of a producer to watch the scene playing on whose mouth dropped recognizing you from the premier Lee was photographed at they learned of the night prior. “Girl! I have not seen you since you graduated early abandoning us all for Broadway!” She pulled back at your soft giggle smiling as she said, “Now you have to tell me how you buy a sweater and end up with nine jobs!”

You giggled again saying, “It wasn’t nine, felt like it, but most of them were small. Extra blips.”

“I saw About a Boy, you were no blip.”

“I didn’t know it was that big! I was love interest number four! When do any of Hugh’s flings in his films get more than a blip when they’re not big names?”

She chuckled and Lee said in a nod of his head to the door, “I think we should go inside,”

Tracy said poking him in the side, “You! They were on their heads for a while wondering who you brought out here with you, please tell me you’re auditioning.” Smiling was her answer at the anxious vanishing act of your voice and she let out another giddy squeal guiding you to the door, “Oh this is going to be perfect. You have no idea, just no idea, two girls so far, a Barbie doll and an amazon woman built more for the Terminator than an adorable quirky show about a girl who talks to inanimate objects. Neither of which stayed for the full interview when they asked if there was a nude scene like they had been told.”

“Wow,”

“Well there’s three in the list for their first interview then they take turns with me, now Lee too, for the second.”

Once through the door the secretary smiled hurrying back to her desk after the producer had turned pretending to fix a clock mounted to the wall he couldn’t manage to hang again he hid behind a potted plant in the corner to follow your group to the desk where Tracy said in a point to you, “She’s auditioning.”

The secretary nodded and passed you the clipboard as you turned saying, “Oh go on, you two have work to do. I know this part so stop hovering you’ve caused enough drama Lee.”

Tracy smiled and turned seeing the producer taking wider side steps to catch up to the pair and ask about your wanting to try out for the part. Into an empty chair you sat crossing your legs for a desk to fill out the papers you turned in with the headshot and resume she paper clipped together and hurried in to the next room to the next stunned producer who showed it to the director as the girl in front of them took a breath readying for her scene. Through the wall you could hear loud awkward readings of the lines timed like a metronome in a flat tone possibly signaling she was throwing this audition or simply this was her first time. Looking to your book unlike the other girls watching the beaming girl strut her way out past who you would assume to be her gawking mother you bit back your smirk propping an arm up on the arm of your chair soon covered with your loose curls that had the other straight haired girls stealing lingering stares your way wondering why you and your apparently grungy self had come to try for this part to be lead in this show. They got called back however and both came out to be called in to the second reads while you finished off another chapter in The Way We Live Now, still stuck in your classic mood for novels to just wallow in missing your cuddle happy Richard so far from you.

“Miss Pear?” Closing the book you grinned at the friendly producer’s aid calling you back watching you add the book to your bag you brought with you into the first office you could just imagine Lee and Tracy pinning their ears to the wall between that and the second they were in to hear how this would go.

The bag was left on the seat and you looked over the sheet the producer handed you and to the camera the aid was manning you read off the snarky monologue you recognized from the script you borrowed from Lee all about the perils of working retail in the Niagara Falls gift shop. By the third line the Producer had his eyes fixed on you and missed his line the aid read for him making him stutter glance her way only to have you pick up again for a rude interaction with a guy who refuses to buy anything after asking you a bunch of questions about a video playing in the shop.

Smiling again from the scoffing shake of your head to the imaginary back of the fleeing customer as you leaned into the chair standing in for the counter they had asked you to use. The page was handed back and moving your bag at his throat clearing in his hand gesture to sit you did settling on one of your bent legs to not be too terribly short across from the pair. “Do you have experience in retail? That seems, very authentic.”

Mid giggle you replied, “Yes, years of it, waitressing to working in shops to get through school to pay what was left on my tuition after scholarships.”

“Yes,” he said looking to your resume, “This says you went to Oxford and Julliard?”

“Yes, I got accepted into Oxford first, mainly for science, my dad said I had to have a backup plan, then my audition, word got back to me I was approved for Julliard too. Bit unusual but I mastered in both Drama, Arts and Science for my degrees.”

After a moment he wet his lips and asked, “How did you hear about this part?”

“Lee, um, I got two roles in two different horror films and my Mate hates to watch horror films in the theater so I asked Lee to go with me instead. He asked if I’d come to check out his apartment out here for the show and the role came up. It’s really a unique idea for a show, had to at least give it an audition.”

“You know Lee well?”

“He’s my best friend, he started at Julliard in my second year,” you answered with a grin making his split wider, “And I believe Tracy was in my year. I kept my head down for most of my first year, I was under five feet still and just didn’t have he energy for comments on that between classes.”

“And, there are, some interesting roles on here. Since your lead role on Broadway you’ve been mainly extras?”

“Yes, I, see I have a habit of being a last minute addition.” Causing his brow to tick up, “For Chicago on Broadway it was a couple weeks before the show was to go on that my teacher, who was choreographing it, tipped my name to the Director and head producers that I could fill in. I got back from Christmas holiday break in England to New York where they had a bunch of films recasting their extras so I got a stack of auditions. The Lord of the Rings was really the only one I got auditioning the old fashioned way and I got that for stunt and body doubling work under pounds of prosthetics. Other than my last film which I got for my ballet and musical training.”

“You’re not limiting yourself to simply musical or dance based roles then?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head, “No Chicago was just one of my two musical ones with this last film I did.”

“And you feel you could hold the lead role in a tv show? I see this would be your first one.”

“I would be lying if I said I couldn’t hold the weight of it. I give all my projects my all and I don’t imagine filming a tv show would be any less work than for a film, I might not have been your first choice but I won’t let the Producers or Director down.”

“I don’t doubt that, Tony award, plus our other Producer saw your spot in Enough. Went on about how the purple eyed girl could have been given a larger spot to fit the talent.” Holding back your smirk you nodded as he asked, “Why do you think Lee would have thought you perfect for this?”

“We get on amazingly, so it wouldn’t be hard to melt into a good chemistry for scenes, including any sort of familiarity in moving around one another like siblings would depending on how small the sets are made for their childhood household. I suppose also for the retail bit he knows I’d be able to have experience no doubt on unruly customers or how people tend to distract themselves while alone working in a store.”

“Really,” he said with a grin, “How did you entertain yourself working alone?”

“Until Lee got there I would recite from books I’d read a million times until the store emptied then I had audio books I put into the boom box at the store until the guy filling paper goods shouted for some music or he’d fall asleep. Then of course I’d blast opera or the classic musical tapes I had.” Making him chuckle at your smirk, “Then Lee started there and I had someone to rehearse with or just chat on in circles through the night to keep him awake while he got used to working nights and going to school.”

“How do you think Lee or Tracy would take it if we were to choose against you?”

“They’ll survive.” You giggled out, “Honestly it wouldn’t really change anything my Mate has a film he’ll be working on in Canada while you are filming out here so I could still spend time with them and hear how everything is going.”

“Oh,” his brows inched up, “So you already plan on being out here at that time frame.”

You nodded, “I have two premiers in December, some press for a film late January, and another film out in mid to late January. Until September, I have a few things that have been lined up, but it’s all pretty flexible.”

“Well we don’t have much to film for winter scenes,” he muttered on his way to the door causing you to turn and stand at his opening the door, “If you’d give us a few moments we’ll call you back for the second round.” With a nod you went back to your former seat in the waiting room a bit confused if you’d given a good impression or not and with camera in hand he led his aid into the second office where you saw Lee and Tracy off in a third side office reading scripts no doubt until the pair entered the office next to theirs. The door shut and shaking your head you went for your book again and for what seemed to be far longer than you had seen the other girls wait you read until the door opened to the office after you heard a muffled shriek that made you flinch followed by a few loud thuds.

“Miss Pear?” Closing your book your face must have been priceless because she let out a bashful chuckle saying, “There was a bug, it fell on me.”

“Ah, ya, hate that.”

You said crossing to the doorway where you found Lee tying his boot back on letting out a weak chuckle, “You missed it, huge centipede.”

“Glad about that,” you said eyeing Tracy shivering off her crawling skin from seeing the bug just scooped away into the trash.

The second Producer asked, “You’re already planning on being out here in early January?”

“My Mate is filming here, well, in Canada, he hasn’t shared where exactly. Also said we could look into apartments near the one Lee rented. So it must be relatively close for him. I do have to be through Europe though near the end of the month.”

The Director shook his head, “No, no, only two episodes I believe heavy for winter months. We don’t have lengthy film windows for that, and even then we could touch up again in February if we would have missed something. Will you be here then?”

“Yes, one of my extra spots is being reshot in England, but it only should take a couple weeks. I’m just an extra blip in the film for some humor. Then I can just pop right back.”

The Director chuckled, “You really do bounce back and forth around the globe don’t you?”

That had you giggle, “You have no idea. But I’m used to it. Through school summer to fall in Julliard and Holiday break in Oxford then back again until summer for my semester back at Oxford. And New Zealand and Canada seem lovely alternatives for the ocean hopping paths too.”

Smoothing his hands down the sides of his jeans the first Producer watched the second pass you a page you looked over, “If you wouldn’t mind, Lee and Tracy have read up on the scene we’d like you to run through.”

You nodded and they set up some chairs and the spare table along the wall on your right for a mock set. Out of your jacket you shrugged leaving it by your bag along the wall stepping into place for what had the others smirking to themselves at how the three of you clearly had chemistry and a great flow already even just dropped into a scene. A few adjustments were made for the next few times you went through the scene and the second behind that one to ensure you might fit the mold they were looking for.

Facing them again you grinned holding a hand over Lee’s eyes giggling out, “Just ignore his face,” That had you giggle at his bump to your back and hug of your arm now being pinned to his chest so he could inspect the group that had just broken from their hushed conversation.

The Director was the one to say, “Well you certainly mesh well personality wise.”

At the glances from the Producers you knew it was something about how you looked, and the Second Producer asked, “Do you perm your hair?”

“No,” you shook your head, “And if you need it straightened or shorter or even dyed I’m good with that. I asked Lee about that earlier, he said the sister, other sister, is blonde.”

“That’s good,” the Director nodded, “Very good, I think blonde might be a bit too drastic a change, our original thought was for a brunette actress.”

You nodded and said, “Sure, about how long? Mine is to the middle of my back, but it can reach my waist if I straighten it.”

Tracy said, “Original girl’s was here,” she said on your upper bicep about to the level of your bust.

“Oh that’s no problem. I have some friends who have been dying to play with my hair.” That had brows rising on the Producers, “They’re licensed beauticians, work with pageants mainly a few films they’d give me a good deal since I have so much hair and they’d have to straighten it then cut it then dye it and straighten again. Giving them tons of time to play with it.” After a moment you said, “Plus Lee’s brows are kind of similar to mine, I have some colored contacts if you want me to wear those too.”

The Director said, “I think the purple should be fine. From a distance they kind of look blue, besides, the purple is sort of your charm. Can’t hide that.”

Lee’s hands shifted a bit more comfortably around your arm he lowered to rest across his belly thrilled to have had this go so well. “How are you with swim suit shots? We have a scene for a hot summer day with an actor being shirtless and in the script we would have you possibly in a bikini top and shorts sunbathing.”

“As long as it’s a sensible top that should be fine,” you giggled out, “We won’t be filming that in January, will we?”

“No,” the trio chuckled, the first Producer saying, “In Spring when we pick up filming again.”

The Director nodded and offered his hand yours was released for, “Welcome aboard then. We’ll send the contracts to your lawyer along with a firm timeline for filming so you can plan accordingly. Thank you, truly for coming along. We will let you know about the table read dates coming up through the next few months.”

Pt 29

Hobbit – Soulmate - @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @rhaenaatargaryen, @anastasialovers

X all Rich. A - @abiwim, @deepestfirefun, @thestorybookmistress

X Lee P - @tigereyesf

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shes-a-killer-kween, @ggbbhehe4455

#Lee Pace x Reader OC #Richard Armitage x Reader OC #Audition #Travel #Best Friends #Catching Up #Off To Canada

6 notes · View notes