#despite the pain it’s causing me I do actually love this Uno | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shomagravity · 2 years

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Fuji TV || Uno Shoma Interview

December. Japanese Figure Skating National Competition. It's Uno Shoma who enters the venue with his teammate Shimada Koshiro. This is the battle where he hopes to be a representative for his second Olympics after Pyeongchang. Even so, Uno has no specific feelings towards it. He was in a rigorous situation where he resumed practicing his jumps from this day on. Despite that, as he gradually remembers the sense of it, he begins to make few successful quad jumps. Q. About his injury A. I strongly felt that I didn't really want to think of my injury as an excuse, so, if this injury didn't get better, I didn't plan to talk about it. But looking back to today's practice, I almost didn't feel any pain. Also, I wondered if injury would directly affect my quality of the competition. If I look at the condition of my current jumps, I was able to get my usual jumps back. In these two days, I'll check how much of it I can incorporate into my programs.

Q. His aim for this competition A. Japanese Nationals is the final selection. I think it really is the most important thing on the path to Olympics, of course I'll do my best. Rather than just finishing it up, I want to make it one I can grow with, just like any other competition. Regarding Uno's season this year, Coach Lambiel says: "I think he's working really well. He's able to focus on his skating and I see how committed he is in his training, and focused. So that's, for me, very important... That he's humble in his job and that he puts his heart into every training. I think what I love to see is that his fire, ah, it's very constant. So, it's a constant fire, that has a lot of power. It's a blue fire. Yes, it's the hot fire. Not big, but very intense, and constantly burning. It's not like it's in waves, it's constantly burning hot. Like kind of constant size and very deep color and strong. And outside, it looks very peaceful but inside it's intense and strong.” On the day of the Short Program. Although Uno said his injury has no effect, during the official morning practice, he struggles with a particular jump. It's the Quad Flip, which was the cause of the injury on his right foot. It's a jump synonymous with Uno but he can't quite land it successfully. He moves onto his performance while still in that form. This battle where he fights for Olympics, was getting harsher by minute. "Uno Shoma who had an accident which resulted in an injury on his ankle. He's the Olympic Silver Medalist. How many jumps can he bring back within the music?" "Uno Shoma, Oboe Concerto. The choreography is by Miyamoto Kenji." "The first jump is planned to be a quad flip. And he lands the quad flip." "It's a flip!" "There was a report that he might be changing it to a salchow but he went with a flip." “The GOE is 2.86.” "Quad Toeloop, double toeloop." "Flying camel spin." "The last jump... He lands the Triple Axel." "Sit spin." "Step Sequence." "Combination spin." "He changes the position. He gets away a little at the end, but he properly gets the level." "His mouth moved as if he just said 'I did it!' Uno Shoma showed his strength during a painful situation." He lands the Quad Flip perfectly. The combination of quad toeloop turned into a double rotation to seek certainty, but it was a masterpiece performance that did not make anyone notice the after effects of his injury. Uno's points: 101.88. "Over 100! SP, 101.88! The strong feelings towards the Olmypics. This is definitely the selection for Olympics." On his way to Interview, as he checks Hanyu on the monitor... Shoma: "Is it okay if I watch first?" "So good." "Ooh, amazing." "If it was me that'd be a double." (About the combination) "I'd have done a double for sure." Q. About this performance in SP A. I can't say it was a really good performance, by any means. I had a lot of mistakes at the parts I usually don't make any... But even so, if I think about the jumps I did since I came here, somehow barely just before the performance I was able to do it. I actually had a part that thought I wouldn't be able to do them for a little while, so I was genuinely happy - even with a performance like that. He gets second place after Hanyu, after the Short. Q. I had goosebumps. A. No no, the performance itself wasn't that... well... if you saw the practice just before it, people might think naaah, but the performance itself isn't at all... I brushed up my transitions a little more and made it quite better, but I couldn't show those parts. I don't know about spins but I couldn't do the steps at all. I had the plans to jump 4-2 in the first place, things like that, a lot happened and I got 101 points, with the same layout as NHK but different parts as such. Q. I think you were told by Coach Stephane that you'll be doing a salchow, right? (Written: You had the plans to switch Quad Flip to Salchow) A. Ah yeah, I said that I'd do a salchow. With how I felt in the morning, I didn't really feel like I could jump it. I was like, this might be impossible. Since I can jump Salchow as usual... The truth is I don't like my salchow that much, so I didn't really feel into it and was worried about it. But well, it was something I thought within that 6 minutes, but even before skating, in my mind I kept thinking I'd be jumping a flip after all. I didn't practice anything except flip. So if I changed it to a salchow and failed, I might have even regretted it. I thought, in that case I'll do a flip, and then did a flip. Since I was able to jump a good one within the 6 minutes, I thought it'd be fine. Q. (Muffled) you'd be going for a salchow but there was a feeling that you didn't really trust in it. A. You got that? (laugh) Q. I thought you'd go for a flip. A. I really don't have confidence in my salchow. I honestly was worried about the salchow even as I said that. Q. (Muffled) A. If there was a chance I might be failing either, I wanted to go for the one that I wouldn't regret. I talked about my injury but, the truth is I don't have any regrets about my injury. I was just normally going about my practice and made a mistake. I probably would've done the same thing if I could redo it. Because I had no regrets about that, I didn't want to have any regrets by changing the layout either. I might have been successful with the salchow but I also thought about failing it and made it into a flip. The result was good in the end. I jumped it during the 6 minutes and had more confidence during that time. Actually for me, I thought the toeloop was more dangerous. Q. It's scary to watch. A. This year I had quite a good condition. During the competitions I often just thought "I can do it in practice, now it's time to see if I can do it in competition or not". For the first time in a while, it was a competition which I had to make it happen but in those 6 minutes, I wasn't the me who had to make it happen but changed it to the mindset of "I just have to do it the way I do in practice". Q. Were you nervous? Will you be more relaxed going into the free? A. I feel like I'll be able to have a slightly better practice tomorrow, if I can, maybe toeloop and loop and such will also... there's some in the beginning but... well. Early in the new year. I'll do my best. Q. Thank you. A. Thank you. The next day. Just like Uno said, there was a change in the contents of his practice. The success rate of his jumps are obviously higher. During that time, in his new free program Uno is 5 types of quads which is the most he's ever done. Among them are the opening's Quad loop and quad salchow. It's a challenging program which ties up to Uno's growth. And, the next day, the free of his fate. A battle where he can exceed himself begins. "It's Uno Shoma after Kagiyama Yuma's top points. He was second place after the short." "Days to overtake myself from yesterday. That's what he aims. Let's watch his Free, Bolero." "The most jumps he's ever done. Will he attack? Uno Shoma. He landed the 4Lo. He landed the 4S too. After this, 4F. 3A. Flying camel spin. Choreo sequence. From here on, two quad jumps. Quad Toeloop... Quad Toeloop. 3A+Eu+3F. Combo spin from flying. CoSp. StSq." "He attacked strongly! This is Uno Shoma. His highest value program ever. " The Quad Loop and Quad Salchow of the beginning is beautifully successful. There was one fall but he was able to see through this program which is very difficult with 5 different quads until the end. Stephane: Well done! Good job! Almost no miss! Shoma: Yeah! "I'm looking forward to Uno Shoma's score! Free is 193.94. Total is 295.82. This is his personal best. He raised above Kagiyama Yuma." Stephane: Well done! Shoma: Thank you. On his way back, Uno watched the last performer, Hanyu's Quad Axel on the monitor of the venue. When he returns to backstage, he exchanges warm hugs with his former teacher, Coach Yamada Machiko. And as he watches Hanyu's performance with Kagiyama Yuma, Yuma: He's so good Shoma: Yuma-kun, you're also good. After my short finished, I watched Yuzu-kun and Yuma-kun and thought I had to practice jumps that'll give me points some more. But Yuzu-kun is really amazing. Plus, it's not only once but he quite often performs like this, doesn't he? Yuma: You're right. Following Hanyu, he gets second place. This result also led to him being elected as a representative for his second consecutive Olympics. Q. Congratulations on second place. A. Thank you. Q. It was a little while ago time-wise but for starters please tell us what you think about today's performance. A. I think I did well. I of course had some mistakes, and there were a lot of parts in both my SP and FS that I wasn't able to show what I could do in practices. But even so, I think it's also a fact that there were parts where I was able to bring out the things I practiced until today. I was also worried because of the practices of these past days, whether you call it a misalignment or insufficient adjustments. And yet, this one-time thing which you call a competition, where I don't get a chance of a do-over, to be able to perform and get my best score, even I think it was a performance where I worked hard. Q. About going to Olympics with an injury A. I was injured last Saturday but at that time, I really thought if it'll be okay. There was also a part of me which thought it'd be fine. And day by day, my pain reduced and I thought I might be able to do it if I had no pain during the competition. But my jumps weren't coming back, even more so than I imagined, even though I didn't feel any pain. While being worried about that, I was able to minimize my mistakes. Only, my aim for this year's skating is growth after all, so following this competition, when I watched Yuma-kun and Yuzu-kun's performance, I felt that what lacks within me is the GOE of jumps. Also, I increased the variety of jumps but, honestly looking back at this competition, I realized I need to find something that'll be a weapon to me whether it's their expressive power or not. So right now I want to practice after healing my foot properly but the truth is I really just want to go back with this new thing I found out and practice anew. Right now rather than feelings like looking forward to Olympics, I just quickly want to get back to practicing. I don't have a clue what will be my next competition but in next competition I want to show everyone my growth. Right now I feel like I was able to tell what was lacking in me after finishing this competition. Even so, leaving behind a season, little by little, I build up things I must do. I want to grow more and more. Rather than looking just at this year, I want to have more growth in me as I look towards next year, and the year after that. Q. Thank you A. Thank you In a painful situation where he's injured immediately before, Uno Shoma faced the battle without ever running away from it. 2021 Japan Nationals became a competition where he was able to show his growth. tweets: https://twitter.com/shomagravity/status/1531446404790595585

#Uno Shoma #Shoma Uno #Fuji TV interview #shomagravitytranslations #2022 translations #documentary translations

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dumdumsun · 3 years

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And Dusk

A/N: Just a heads up, the sensitive content in this chapter will be marked "<<<<<<" as the beginning and ">>>>>>" to signify the end. The racial slurs used in this chapter were targeted towards African Americans (and still are) and I chose these because I, myself, am African American and used them as a sort of “default” for any POC readers. ⚠️Please, never use these towards anyone. Whether it be in a “joking” manner or not. They are hurtful and were created to be that way⚠️ I wrote this chapter the way I did to bring awareness. Proceed with caution. Much love ❤️

Warnings: ⚠️racial slurs⚠️, violence, mentions of guns and dying/death

Word Count: 3707

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Chapter 3: The Frankel Footage

Shaking himself out of his shock, Five stood from his seat and hurried after his brother, grabbing onto his arm and stopping his strides. “The hell is wrong with you, Luther? I just told you the world’s gonna end in ten days!”

“Yeah, well, you’re always saying that.” Luther nonchalantly spoke before moving away, but Five intervened yet again.

“And so far, I’ve been right.” He hissed as Luther sighed and shook his head.

“Look, you want to go save the world? Knock yourself out, alright? I already got a job.”

“Wait, you work in this shithole?” The boy furrowed his brows.

“Yeah. Well, my boss owns the place,” Luther only received a nod from his brother, so he clarified. “I’m his body man.”

But this only made Five even more confused. “What’s that? Like, a masseuse or something?”

“Okay, you can make fun all you want, but I take good care of Mr Ruby.”

“Wait, Ruby. The Jack Ruby? The gangster who shot Oswald.”

Despite Five’s concern, Luther proudly smiled a smug smile as he glanced over at his boss. “Yeah. The one and only.”

“Well, it finally happened,” Five sighed. “That gorilla DNA has finally taken over your mind-”

“Hey, watch it, alright? Jack’s a good friend-”

“And you’re Number One. Numero Uno. Remember?”

Luther clenched his jaw and shook his head. “There is no Number One. Not anymore. Not in 1963,” When Five stared at him in disbelief, Luther sighed again. “Look, I’ve been stranded here alone for a year. What did you expect?”

Five scoffed. “I get it, alright? You watched Pogo die, the world exploded, and I marooned your big dumb ass in time. I’m sorry, okay? But I’m asking for your help, Luther. The Umbrella Academy needs you.”

“It doesn’t need me,” He slowly spoke to draw out his words. “It never did.”

“Luther, honey,” The waitress from earlier approached the two. “Jack’s about to lose it on some half-wit. A little help?”

“Ah, shit,” He groaned and began walking away. When Five tried yet again to stop him, he whirled on him, his lips pulled into a thin line. “Listen. You’re the genius who said we should jump, right? You’re the one who got us stuck here. And you’re the one who brought Vanya. So, if there is a doomsday coming, she’s probably the cause. And if I was gonna do something about it, it sure as hell is not gonna be with you. That’s (Y/N)’s job, being dragged around into your messes-”

“I don’t drag her into anything.” Five swallowed, blinking rapidly.

“Yeah? Well, she wasn’t stuck as a thirteen-year-old and constantly worrying about her kids until you showed up. I’m surprised she isn’t sick of you yet.” And with that, he stomped away to his boss. This time, Five let him go, his words sending a pang through his chest as he thought back on it. Grabbing his drink, he sighed and shook his head.

“Dad should’ve left him on the moon…” He muttered, taking a sip of his drink before moving to leave his seat. When he felt his jacket snag on something, he looked down to see an object in his pocket. Taking out the tape, he frowned and turned it over.

Date: 11/22/63

Subject: FRANKEL FOOTAGE

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This world was unfamiliar to (Y/N). She knew she had to have been somewhere in America, but she didn’t know where. The cars, fashion and stores bringing the street she walked to life told her she had to have been in the sixties. But she didn’t want to believe it. Surely Five hadn’t time travelled that far? She had to have been dropped during some type of sixties-theme festival. But the voices suddenly beside her quickly prove her doubts wrong.

“What do we have here?”

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a lost little colored girl.”

Tensing, (Y/N) continued her way down the sidewalk, slightly speeding up her pace, but the men fell into step beside her with ease, flanking her sides.

“You’re on the wrong side of town, girl.”

“Yeah, we don’t like coons around here.” One of them hissed right in her ear. Her eyes welled up with tears before the other shoved her forward.

“Gon now, get!” He ordered as if she were a dog. She realized that’s how they had seen her. An animal. Nothing more. Tripping on a crack in the sidewalk, she fell to the ground, smacking her face on the concrete. She choked out a sob as the two men cackled. And to make matters even worse, she felt the pitter patter of raindrops start to freeze her skin.

(Y/N) gasped out in shock when the men spit two wads of saliva in her face. She knew she must’ve looked a mess with spit and tears sliding down her cheeks and blood oozing from her nose. She hiccupped on her sobs and began to stand, much too tired from her previous fight with Vanya and literally being dropped from the sky to successfully do so. The men backed her up against a wall and one fisted the front of her vest before a voice called out.

“Take your hands off of my child!” Whipping around, the men were half expecting to find another target, but (Y/N) coughed and sputtered nonsense upon the person her gaze fell upon.

“M-Mom…?”

Before her was Grace, but… she wasn’t robotic in any sense. She could tell by the raw anger etched into her features. She took a brave step forward. “I said. Take your hands. Off my child.”

And that was another thing: her accent. (Y/N) was immediately comforted by the stern southern accent the woman shared with her attackers. It was a voice she never thought she needed. The two looked between Grace and (Y/N) with smirks. “You mean this lil ol’ jigaboo-”

“Is my daughter. Now you let her go before I call the police.”

“Woman, I don’t care if you call the police-”

Grace took it upon herself to step closer and grab the child by her arms, yanking her into her warm embrace. (Y/N) immediately latched onto her, quivering in her hold. The men scoffed and shook their heads, beginning to walk away. “Make sure to keep that thing on a leash if you’re gonna have it out, ma’am.”

“Oh, fuck off.” She growled before turning and walking back in the direction the girl came from. As they walked past the alleyway, Grace took out a handkerchief and began wiping the girl’s face clean of what the raindrops hadn’t already washed away. “It’s alright, hun, they aren’t gonna hurt you anymore.”

“T-Thank you.” (Y/N) sobbed and gently held her nose in pain. Grace crouched in front of her and gently held her face in between her hands.

“Don’t thank me, darlin’, it’s how everyone should be treatin’ you ‘round here… Where are your parents? I could take you to ‘em.”

(Y/N) thought for a long moment, watching as the rain soaked Grace’s hair and clothing. The woman didn’t seem to mind as she watched the girl before her swallowing thickly. (Y/N) skimmed over her current choices. She didn’t have any choice.

“I don’t have parents. I-I don’t remember them…”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“I’m tellin’ you, Reggie, she’s highly intelligent for a child her age.” Grace proudly presented (Y/N) to the man she had grown fond of over their time working together. (Y/N), however, was frozen in her spot. Sir Reginald Hargreeves. The man whose death she had wished upon for years, whose death had finally graced her existence, was back in her life. She flinched at the disapproving look on his face, much too acquainted with it by this point in her life. “And she’s very respectful. Talented, too, this girl can speak several languages.”

“You seem rather fond of this child.” The man observed as Grace squeezed her into her side.

“She’s my pride and joy.”

“And you cannot remember anything of your past, child?”

“N-No,” (Y/N) shook her head and stared down. “Not a lot. J-Just my name and birthday.”

Reginald hummed and stared her down with an unreadable expression. When she met his eyes again, he was crouched down to her level, his monocle clutched in his fist. “(Y/N), was it?”

“Yes.”

“It would be an honor to have your presence within my home, along with your mother.”

“O-Oh, that’s okay-”

“I insist. Besides, you have been living with her for almost half a year, correct? It is highly unlikely that she will share a home without you.”

“He’s right about that, hun,” (Y/N) glanced up at Grace, who was smiling warmly at her. “I’m not leavin’ you.”

(Y/N) could have cried.

And she did.

One year later, (Y/N) had been living quite the comfortable life with Grace and Reginald. She had been introduced to the ape, Pogo, for the second time since Grace first started working with him. As much as she loved being around the chimp, it brought back so many memories. She almost felt silly, looking after him sometimes knowing he had done the same for her in the original timeline.

Her relationship with Reginald was nothing she ever expected. He was gentle, well as gentle as Reginald Hargreeves could get, he cared for her, spoiled her, even. She wouldn’t have to ask for anything half the time. If he were to overhear a conversation between her and Grace about a dress she oh-so wanted, it would suddenly be laid out on her bed the next day. She usually had a say in dinner meals every Thursday and Sunday and Reginald listened intently whenever she would voice any discomfort or concerns with her living conditions. (Y/N) never had a real father, but she assumed this is what it was like to have one. She never wanted to let go of it.

For her birthday in 1963, she was surprised that he had actually gotten her a present. As she entered the parlor, she was met with the tiniest bark and an even tinier golden retriever, bounding up to her. She gasped and stopped low, letting him jump into her arms. She let him lick her face and giggled in the joy it brought her.

“Your mother said you would like it. Though I would never allow dogs in my house, I have come to understand that there are rules I must bend for you, my child.”

(Y/N) turned to her father. Yes, father. Reginald, also growing quite fond of their father-daughter bond formed between them, decided to adopt the girl. As much as his beliefs and his deep distaste for children protested. There was just something about this child. Or perhaps it was Grace’s insisting, reassuring him that he would make a wonderful father. (Y/N) was very hesitant at first for her own reasons she never shared, but eventually came around to the idea of being his daughter again.

This was the same Reginald Hargreeves who locked her in a dark room for five days straight, but also an entirely different man. Perhaps it was her fascination with the differences, or maybe she just wanted a real father for once.

“Thank you, Dad.” She softly smiled, the man nodding in response.

“But this is your pet, (Y/N). It is your responsibility. I will not find it in my study, in my bedroom, you are to train it yourself-”

“Can you-”

“And no, I will not help you pick out its name.”

The girl softly groaned and looked back down at her new puppy. Looking into its eyes, she smiled softly at a distant memory as a small child.

“Welcome to the family, Mr Pennycrumb.”

-------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) groaned when she felt the sunbeams of the early morning sunrise hit her eyelids, coloring her black vision with the stinging fire of orange. Rolling onto her other side, she stretched her blanket over her head. They were yanked away the next second, causing a whine to leave her lips. “Mom… Five more minutes.”

“I let you sleep in long enough, hun, it’s time to get up. You have a date with Preston this afternoon.” Grace gently pulled her daughter to sit up, giggling quietly at her look of disgust.

“Preston? Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, let’s get goin’.” Grace patted her leg and walked to her door, waiting patiently. (Y/N) sighed and rubbed her face, letting her feet slide into her slippers. As they descended the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast, Reginald could hear his daughter’s sleepy complaining from his place at the table.

Setting his utensils down, he turned his head in their direction. “My child, how many times throughout each week must we have to repeat this conversation?”

“Until it starts making sense.” (Y/N) stepped into the dining room, now in her robe, and crossed her arms over her chest. Reginald sighed and stood from his chair at the table.

“You are one of my greatest accomplishments,” He began towards her. “There is no doubt in my mind that you would make a fine successor. I do not believe you will need a husband. In fact, you would be better off without another individual holding you back from what you are truly capable of.”

“But?” She raised a brow.

“But… I have grown to know you more than I expected… and I know that you would need someone to help manage your finances you inherit once I am gone. Preston is a fine young man who was born into this life, made into this life. He will take good care of you.”

(Y/N) knew there was only one person in this world who would truly take good care of her. But he wasn’t here, and she needed to play the part as the amnesiac adopted daughter, so she huffed and nodded. “Fine… I’ll go…”

“Thank you-”

“But only if Mr Pennycrumb can go, too.”

“Very well, but you will not be gifted another animal if you lose it.”

The outing wasn’t entirely bad. (Y/N) didn’t mind the picnic or the art museum, it was the company that made her blood boil. Preston is anything she would have expected out of him. This had been their seventh date, tenth of the ones he planned. (Y/N) sought out any opportunity she could to cancel on him to save herself from the unbearable three hours she would have to spend with the kid. He was arrogant, smug, selfish, narcissistic, and overbearing. Of course, this was not the Preston he presented to her parents. No, to them, Preston was ‘a fine man with a bright future ahead of him’, or as Grace would put it, ‘a delight to have around’. He laughed like a drunk, talked like a husband, and smelled like a man. All at the age of fifteen. (Y/N) had to remind herself on several occasions that she was mentally the older out of the two and to not stoop to his level when he got under her skin.

“Don’t you think, (Y/N)?” The voice brought her attention back to the boy beside her. She looked up from the grass they had been strolling through. When she hummed in question, he amusedly scoffed and side-step closer to her. “Never mind. I should have known you wouldn’t have been interested in politics.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” The girl raised a brow. At her confusion, he laughed and gently tapped the side of his head.

“You’ve always got that head of yours in the clouds. Or turned behind you- like right now.”

(Y/N) turned her head away from where she had been looking over her shoulder. “What? Sorry, Preston, I’m a little preoccupied today.”

“With what, exactly? You don’t seem to be the type of girl to have very many issues. Nothing to worry about.”

“And you wonder why I don’t listen to you.” She sighed as her puppy ran in between her legs, rolling in the grass once he was a few paces in front of them. Preston frowned in distaste and shook his head.

“You should really keep that thing on a leash, sweetheart.”

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, clenching her teeth as she folded her hands behind her back. “Really now?”

“Really. You know, I’m not very fond of dogs, so I’m not sure how it’ll work out once we’re married. I think we should get one after we have kids, you know? Just so the kids could grow up with it.”

(Y/N) quickly turned her head to the left, pointing out across the street. “Preston, would you look at that?”

“Look at what?” He gullibly looked in the direction, (Y/N) quickly checking the area before almost silently singing her tune. From her shadow, her clone formed and robotically walked behind the two. She quickly switched spots with it and ordered the clone to walk with Preston before scooping her puppy into her arms and rushing off in the opposite direction. Once she was behind a diner far away from their date location, she let out a sigh and gently patted her dog on the head.

“Were you sick of it, too?” She chuckled. Resting the back of her head against the brick wall she leaned on, she let out a slow breath and began to relax. The sound of guns cocking had her head snapping up so fast, she swore she could have dislocated it. Just down the end of the line of stores were three white-haired men, one in a milkman uniform, training their guns on her. (Y/N) didn’t waste a second tucking her dog in front of her and spinning around, charging down the opposite direction as bullets whizzed past her. She dodged them the best she could, jumping a few feet in the air at the ones that threatened to take their place in her feet. It was like a dance; the twisting, spinning and jumping, and she was to perform this dance until one of those bullets killed her if she didn’t find a way out soon. Sliding to the side of a clothing store for cover, she gently shushed her pet as she caught her breath.

The three sets of footsteps eventually found their destination and rounded the corner with skilled quickness, shooting at the girl until she was nothing more than a bloodied corpse on the ground, bullet holes lodged in almost every inch of her body. The three men nodded to each other and turned around, making their way out from behind the stores.

(Y/N) had already been down the street from her house by the time her attackers found the clone in her place. She couldn’t have been bothered to check herself for any wounds, too worried about Mr Pennycrumb’s potential bullet wounds. But the pup was perfectly, happily nuzzling into her arms and wagging his tail. This left (Y/N) to ponder.

Who the hell were those men?

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“Is it on?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? There’s an ‘on’ button. Just- There’s something over- that jigga-ma-thing, whatever.”

“I hit the jigga-ma-thing!”

“Okay, well, just- Give it to me. I know how to do this.”

“Alright, here, here. Hurry up.”

“Okay, alright, let’s see…”

Lila didn’t look up from her task of painting poor Elliott’s toenails, his bindings he received after threatening the trio with a gun preventing him from moving too much. Which was beneficial to her, as it kept her from ruining the paint job. She softly smiled as she listened to the argument between the elderly couple on the film Five and Diego were intently watching. “They’re so cute,” She commented. “I love old couples. I’m always so proud of them for not murdering each other.”

Ignoring her, Diego turned to his brother from his seat on Elliott’s counter. “Why are we watching this?”

“Shush.” Five replied, eyes trained on the film before him, searching for any clue to the approaching apocalypse, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Yeah, I… I’m Dan Frankel. And…”

“I’m Edna Frankel.”

“...Edna Frankel. We are in Dallas, Texas, to see the president. Today’s date is November 22, 1963.”

Five nodded as everyone’s attention was brought to the projected screen before them.

“That’s six days from now.” Lila spoke as Elliott thrashed about more against his bindings. Diego sat forward in interest.

“Holy shit. This is it. The grassy knoll. Kennedy’s about to get shot. How do you have this?”

“Hazel died to get me this footage,” Five answered. “It must be the key to stopping doomsday.”

“Hazel…?” Diego frowned, remembering the man he spent hours searching for and planning to kill to avenge the death of Eudora Patch.

“Long story.”

“What’s doomsday?” Lila looked up at the boy.

“Longer story.”

“What exactly did he say to you?” Diego asked as Lila turned her head back to the film.

Five shrugged. “Well, he was killed before he could explain. But whatever he wanted us to see, it’s on this film.”

“This is very exciting.” The old man smiled before the sound of gunshots and screaming could be heard, the camera moving around in blurs due to the shock of the old woman filming.

“Oh, my god!”

“Oswald…” Diego whispered, setting his knife down as Five leaned in closer.

“The president!”

When the camera was steadied to record across the street, Five and Diego both stiffened in their spots at what their eyes caught. “Oh, no…” Five breathed and moved behind the projector, rewinding the film and scooting the cart backwards to zoom in closer. The room was silent as Diego stood to his feet and Five rounded the cart before standing beside his brother, directly in front of the film. “This can’t be…”

“Okay, you gonna fill me in now, boys?” Lila glanced between the two. “What the hell is this shit we’re watching?”

But she was ignored yet again.

“No, that’s impossible…”

“Clearly, it’s not.”

“What… What is it?” Elliott muffled past the gag in his mouth.

A beat of silence went by before the two Hargreeves whispered in unison,

“Dad.”

—————————————

Taglist: @unfortu-nate-ly @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya @sm0kingcrack @a-t-h-r-e-e-n-a @moatsnow @bubblegumflamingos @starstormssymphony @meowiemari @magicalgothpandamaker @simping-4-fictional-men @hehehehannahthings @harrystylescherrie @rhain3 @himikaphoo @zerocanonlywriteshit @xxeiraxx @camerondiaz48104 @isawachickeninatree

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #umbrella academy x reader #tua #tua x reader #tua fanfic #tua five #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #number five #number five x reader #five x reader #of starlight #and dusk

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

Reckless

Michael ‘Riz’ Ariza x OC (Mariella Reyes)

Request from @rizoldlady: I would love to see story about him dancing with an oc female character. Baby sister to Ez and Angel. Possibly they are dating in secret and Riz blows the secret while dancing with her at a Mayan party. Tango or cha cha. I can see angel getting pissed at riz for kissing his baby sister. Please please pretty please.

Warnings: language, protective and nosey brothers

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: This was my first time writing for Riz, so please be gentle with me haha. I really loved this prompt though, and had a lot of fun with it! Hope you all enjoy it xo

(I’m a visual person so with OC’s I always have to have photos to help with the pictures in my head so here’s a little something to help if that’s how your brain works too)

There was a knock at the front door. She smiled into the mirror as she put her earrings in and shouted, “It’s open!”

She heard the sound of boots on the floor and moments later she caught Riz’s reflection in her mirror as he poked his head around the doorframe into her bedroom. She smiled at him through the reflection, shaking her head slowly.

“We’re gonna see each other in less than an hour,” she turned to face him, grin still plastered on her face.

He walked up, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his forehead against hers. He placed a kiss on her nose, “I couldn’t wait. Besides,” his hands slid lower, dipping into her back pockets, “I don’t get to do this once we’re there.”

She laughed, shaking her head slightly, “I know, I know. Lo siento, mi amor,” she cupped his face and kissed him on the lips, “I’ll tell them soon, I promise.”

“Better be soon,” he said with a smirk, “Don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“Michael,” she laughed, her head falling back slightly as she did.

“Mariella,” he chuckled, taking the opportunity to kiss her exposed skin of her neck.

She ran her fingers through his hair, letting them come to rest on the back of his neck. He slid his hands up underneath the fabric of her top, fingertips pressing slightly into her back to keep her pressed flush against him. She let out a small, content sigh as she let him melt into her.

They’d started seeing each other a few months ago, and truthfully, she didn’t see it coming. Riz had always been a flirt, just like every other guy in the club. But eventually the playful flirting turned into real conversations, and then those real conversations turned into late nights at her place after parties. And now here they were. The secrecy wasn’t too much of an issue at first when everything was still new and they were figuring it all out, but now it was getting harder to keep it under wraps. The two of them had had more than one close call with her brothers popping in to visit and check on her.

She didn’t know how they were actually going to respond when they found out that she and Riz were dating, but her mind was instantly jumping to the worst possible scenarios and outcomes. Angel and EZ really never asked her for much, but they had asked her, very nicely, not to date anyone in the club. She partially understood it—they knew things about all the guys that she never would and that made them wary. But they were all adults now, and they could only pull the, “You’re our baby sister,” card so many times before it started to lose its effectiveness.

Riz pulled back and cupped her face gently in his hands. He traces his thumbs along her cheekbones as he looked at her eyes, and the freckles that were scattered along the bridge of her nose. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, his heart warming as he felt her smile.

“I have to finish getting ready, cariño,” she placed her hands over his.

He smiled, “Uno más,” and before she could say anything else, he pressed his lips against hers again.

She laughed, leaning into the kiss. The urge to show up late to the party so they could have a little extra time together was tempting, but she knew that she’d blow their cover and she would never hear the end of it from her brothers. She finally managed to pull herself away from him, keeping her fingers interlocked with his as she stepped back.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” she knew that if it was up to him, they’d never leave.

“Kicking me out, hermosa?” he pressed one hand over his heart with a pained look on his face.

She laughed, nodding, “Just for now. You can come over later.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise,” she gave him another quick peck on the lips before nudging him back towards the door to her room, “Now go and let me finish getting ready.”

He walked towards the door, pausing for a moment and taking one last look at her before exiting her bedroom. She heard the front door open and shut, followed shortly by the sound of his bike roaring to life. She chuckled to herself and shook her head—he certainly kept her on her toes.

By the time she showed up to the party, there were already a good amount of people there. She managed to weave her way through the crowd to find her brothers. Angel’s height made him one of the easiest to find in a crowd, and she was forever thankful for it because it seemed as though their parents ran out of good height genes by the time they had her.

He wrapped her in a hug, “Mari,” he kissed the top of her head, “I was starting to think that you weren’t going to make it.”

“And miss the chance to embarrass my brothers at a club function? No way,” she laughed, “Where’s EZ at, anyway?”

He scanned the room, “Over at the bar,” he nudged her in that direction, “Go tell him he owes us both a beer.”

She chuckled as she weaved through the small clusters of people and found EZ, clapping him on the back as she settled in next to him at the bar. He smiled and draped his arm around her shoulders, “Glad you made it.”

“Angel says you owe us each a beer.”

He rolled his eyes, “Of course he does,” he asked the bartender for two more bottles before turning back to his sister, “Your man was looking for you earlier.”

She froze for a moment, “Wh-what? Who?”

He laughed, “Tranq. I swear he asks about you more than Pops does.”

“That’s because Pops knows he doesn’t have to worry about me,” she grabbed her beer bottle and took a sip, “I’ll find him eventually. Thanks for the beers, mano,” she smirked as she grabbed the bottle for Angel and took off into the crowd again.

As the night wore on, she found herself sitting by the fire pit outside with her brothers, Bishop, and Tranq. The five of them sat around chatting and watching the chaos unfold around them. Mariella was usually able to stay on the outskirts of it all, content to watch everyone else get themselves into trouble. It was extra rewarding if the people getting into trouble were her brothers.

She felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder and she looked up to see Riz smiling down at her. “Sorry to interrupt,” he crouched down so he was eye-level with her, “can I steal you for a couple minutes?”

She smiled, trying to keep her composure so no one would think that anything was going on, “Sure, everything alright?”

He stood up, pulling her from the chair, “Yea. Got time for a dance, querida?”

She smiled but she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t send a jolt of fear down her spine, “Michael, don’t get reckless.”

“It’s one dance,” he tugged her towards where everyone was dancing, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

At first, the guys didn’t pay much mind to the fact that she had gotten swept away by Riz. She was friends with all of them and had long since progressed past the need to have one of her brothers with her all the time. They were wrapped up in their own conversations, bouncing back and forth between talking business and talking shit.

Bishop was the first one to notice the two of them getting a little cozier than usual on the dancefloor. He smirked to himself and decided not to comment on it as he took a swig of his beer and returned to the conversation at hand. If Riz and Mari wanted to dig themselves into that hole, it wasn’t really his place to say anything about it. That wasn’t a club matter.

Tranq, on the other hand, was not as subtle. Once he clocked it, he instantly nudged Angel and nodded in their direction, “You know anything about that?”

Angel and EZ both turned their heads to see what he was talking about. They saw the way Riz was holding their sister close, hands set on her waist. They saw the way that she leaned in so he could whisper into her ear, whatever he said causing her to laugh. Her hands toyed with his hair for a moment before they came to rest gently on the back of his neck. They were dancing a little too close, a little too lost in their own world despite the noise and crowds around them, for anyone to think that it was just platonic. Riz stepped back and spun her around, and the look of pure joy on her face as she twirled right back into his arms and against his chest was enough to make anyone believe in love again.

Except for Angel, who was halfway out of his chair before EZ threw his arm out to stop him, “Leave it, Angel. Don’t make a scene.”

“You fuckin’ serious?” he looked down at his brother in disbelief, “You gonna let him be all up on our baby sister like that?”

EZ chuckled, “She doesn’t seem too upset about it. They’re both adults, you know.”

Angel collapsed back down into his seat, “Fuckin’ unbelievable. He didn’t say shit to us.”

“Neither did she,” EZ chimed in, “and why do you think that is?” he gave his brother a pointed look.

“Don’t look at me like that, little brother. You told Mari the same as me not to date anybody in the club.”

EZ chuckled, “Yea, when she was seventeen and stupid. You gotta stop treating her like she’s still a teenager, man. She’s gonna deck you one of these days.”

Riz and Mariella were wrapped up in the music, and each other, for a while before they finally left the dance floor and headed for the bar. She was giggling the whole way, Riz keeping his hand lightly pressed against the small of her back as they walked.

She sat down on a stool at the bar, “You and I have very different definitions of ‘one dance’, Michael,” she laughed.

His heart sped up a little every time she called him by his actual name, “Can’t help it,” he rested his hand on her leg, “And I’m not sorry about it, either.”

She laughed and shook her head as she grabbed the beer the bartender handed her, “Didn’t think that you would be.”

Riz reached forward to grab his beer off the surface of the bar, stealing a quick kiss from the young woman in front of him as he did. Mari’s face got hot and she tried her best to bite back the smile that wanted to spread across her face. He was always a little reckless but she adored that about him.

The smile dropped from her face when Angel’s hands came clapping down on Riz’s shoulders. He cleared his throat and Riz’s entire body tensed up for a moment. He shut his eyes for a moment, accepting defeat before he even turned around to face the man behind him. EZ was standing behind his brother, there solely to play referee if needed. He personally wasn’t that upset about the situation, but he knew that trying to talk Angel down was futile.

“What the fuck, Riz?”

“Angel,” Mariella stood up and wedged herself between the two men, placing one hand on Angel’s chest, “don’t be an asshole about this.”

“You ever gonna get around to sayin’ something about this?” he looked back and forth between his sister and Riz.

“Michael wanted to,” Mariella spoke up before Riz could, “but I told him not to. Because for some reason I thought it might not go over well and I didn’t wanna ruin a good thing before it even got started.” EZ tried and failed to stifle a laugh, reveling in the fact that he was right. Mariella gave him a knowing smile before continuing, “I’m not a kid anymore, Angel, and you don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.”

Despite the fact that he had just over a foot of height on his sister, she still stood and tried to get face-to-face with him as best she could. Her size had never been an issue when she carried herself with all the confidence in the world. She and Angel locked eyes for a few moments before his body finally untensed.

He pulled her into a hug with a sigh, “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me anymore, alright?”

She nodded with a smile, “Don’t be a fuckin’ drama queen anymore, alright?”

He laughed and gave her a quick squeeze before letting her go. He turned his attention to Riz, who was still processing what he had just witnessed between his girlfriend and her brother. Angel stepped in close to him, “One wrong step and you’re dead fuckin’ meat, got it?”

Riz nodded, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “Got it, mano.”

Angel walked away, shaking his head as he strode off. EZ just offered up a laugh as he clapped Riz on the back before following Angel’s trail back outside. Riz and Mariella were left the way they started—just the two of them sitting at the bar.

He looked at her with a smirk, “Could’ve gone worse, hermosa.”

She shook her head and gave him a playful shove, “Told you not to get reckless.”

He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, letting it linger this time knowing they didn’t have to hide it anymore. She smiled, placing one hand on the back of his neck and pulling him closer to her. He chuckled as he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

“Do I still get to come over later?”

She nodded, a giggle escaping past her lips, “Yea, I guess so. How can I say no to this face?” she rested one hand on his cheek.

He pressed a kiss into her palm, “Remember that you said that.”

She leaned back, taking a sip of her beer with a smile on her face, “I’m regretting it already.”

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #michael ariza #riz ariza #michael riz ariza #riz ariza x oc #michael ariza x oc #riz ariza fanfiction #riz ariza fluff #michael ariza fanfic #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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erin-bo-berin · 4 years

Text

Confidence

MASTERLIST

This was an anonymous requested fic about the scene from season 8, episode 10 when Spencer is talking to Alex Blake and obviously not feeling very great about himself. I decided to write it as a cute fluffy fic because one, I knew I needed to use this gif and two, who doesn’t love a cute, fluffy fic? Enjoy all the Spencer feels.

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (fluff)

Word Count: 2,673

It was another run-of-the-mill day at work for you.

Another day, another case.

This week you and your fellow Behavioral Analysis teammates happened to be in Washington state, tracking down a serial murder. One that was very unusual in his ritual of kills. He would kill a male victim, usually shooting them then a female victim would follow, killed by strangulation.

The unsub definitely showed more resentment towards his female victims. He was cold, calculated and distant from the kills of the men. Almost like he was doing them a favor by killing them in such a quick way.

His method of kill for the women was more up close, personal and definitely filled with rage. He wanted the women victims to suffer for as long as possible, inflicting as much pain as possible.

The team had profiled that he was probably holding resentment to a male and female pair, someone who had wronged him in the past, most likely his parents. Whatever had happened, the unsub obviously didn’t hold as much anger for the father figure as he did for the mother figure.

You’d been following his trail for two days, new victims dropping left and right, like a convoluted scavenger hunt. You were closing in on him and he knew it; he was beginning to unravel.

You had taken a much needed break for some bad police station coffee, when you heard voices around the corner. The tiny coffee nook was partially hidden by a wall and around the wall was a table where a few of your team members sat.

You recognized Dr. Alex Blake’s voice first, followed by the smooth, deeper voice of Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Well, why haven’t you asked her out yet?”

This question came from Blake and intrigued, you eavesdropped a little while you stirred the creamer into your coffee.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” came from Reid.

“Why not?” Alex questioned.

“I don’t know, what if she doesn’t like me?”

“Why do you think she wouldn’t?”

Alex’s question wasn’t judgemental or harsh, just full of honest curiosity.

“Because I’m weird. I slouch, my hair’s too long and my tie is perpetually crooked.”

“You are not weird,” Blake said, sounding fully like a mother at bat for her child, “And your hair is just fine. The slouching and tie can be fixed though.”

You heard Spencer laugh, knowing that Alex was just teasing him. You smiled a bit, but felt a slight heaviness to your chest. You hated that he felt that way about himself. He was an amazing individual and whoever this girl was, she would be lucky to have him. She was lucky to even have him admire her.

Spencer was definitely a brainiac. With an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and an ability to read 20,000 words a minute, his skill set was impressive. But his knowledge wasn’t the only good thing about him. He was an amazing profiler, extremely good at his work. He excelled in geographic profiles, which he often worked on during cases and his love for statistics did quite come in handy for things.

But besides work, he was a sweet and gentle guy. He was always willing to drop whatever he was doing to come aid one of his loved ones, whether it was his mother or one of his beloved teammates. Many times was Spencer there to be an emotional soundboard for you. He cared for people and things deeply, he felt them deeply, which you admired. When he was involved with something he gave it his all; he was involved in it 100%. His chess skills were quite extraordinary, as was his poker playing. You had yet to beat him in either game. He could probably win a game of Uno like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Also, even though it wasn’t the most important thing, he was attractive. You often heard women make comments about his good looks—sometimes prostitutes too, which amused you to no end—in which he’d just get flustered and confused.

At six feet tall, he was long and thin, but without being extremely lanky. His light brown hair was often in a disarray of loose curls, falling whatever direction it wanted to. His eye color was quite a mystery to you as well. You’d worked with him for years on end and still couldn’t tell if they were completely brown or a hazel hue. Depending on the light or colors he wore, you noticed they had a tendency to look anywhere from a deepend brown, to a honeyed light brown to even a glowing green. He was insanely lucky with the facial features department too; he had a sharp jawline and nicely shaped, plump lips that women would kill to have naturally. Speaking of, his natural lashes were a joke. They were long and beautiful, framing his eye nicely. They made you insanely jealous because if you had been blessed with lashes so nice, you’d never have to wear fake lashes ever again.

All in all though, you knew he had the biggest heart you’d ever seen. Despite all his quirks and antics, he had a never ending love for his work and his teammates, a love that always continued to expand as people came and went.

You couldn’t see how this mystery girl couldn’t see that in him.

Your thoughts had caused you to miss parts of the conversation, so when you tuned back into the conversation, you heard Spencer speaking again.

“I just don’t want to ruin something good,” he sounded dejected.

“I think you’re just psyching yourself out,” Alex said, “Is it worth you always wondering what could’ve happened if you never tried?”

“I guess not.”

“Then take a chance. You just might be surprised.”

You didn’t hear her departure, but when it fell silent you figured she’d walked away. You decided to make your presence known in an inconspicuous way.

You picked up your styrofoam coffee cup and rounded the corner, seeing Spencer’s attention back on the book in front of him. You sat down across from him.

“Need any help?”

He looked up, shaking his head.

“No. Thanks though. You have a death wish or something?”

“What?” you chuckled.

He motioned to the cup in your hand.

“The coffee. It tastes like warm, wet mud.”

You grimaced down into your cup, your desire for some coffee now gone. His description wasn’t all that off anyway; it was horrible coffee.

“I’m making a coffee run later, I’ll make sure to get you some of the good stuff.”

You smiled appreciatively.

“Thanks.”

He moved to turn the page, when you spoke again.

“So I overheard your conversation with Blake.”

He winced, “You did?”

You nodded, setting the coffee cup aside and lacing your fingers together on the tabletop in front of you.

“So who is she?” you smiled.

He hesitated as if contemplating how he should answer.

“You don’t know her.”

“Well are you gonna ask her out?”

He shrugged a bit.

“Maybe. We’ll see.”

“I’m with Alex,” you encouraged, “You should totally go for it.”

He smiled shyly, like a timid school boy with a crush on a fellow classmate. It made you happy to see him so happy.

“You just need to have a little confidence in yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re a great guy, Spence.”

“You think?”

“I know,” you corrected, “This girl is incredibly lucky.

You noticed that he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face, even as he looked back down to the text.

“Would you do it if I helped you out a little?”

“Helped me out?” He looked up at you confused and perhaps just a tad bit curious.

“Yeah. Like helped you gain a little confidence before you ask her.”

“Really? You’d do that?” he paused, wary, “Why though?”

“Because Spencer, whoever this girl is, I can tell she makes you incredibly happy. Besides you deserve that happiness so much.”

“That means a lot,” he said lowly, “Thank you.”

“So, why don’t you tell me about this girl?”

He opened his mouth to answer you, but before he could speak Hotch zoomed past you two, talking as he walked.

“Garcia got a hit on the partial license plate. She found the address for our unsub. Let’s go.”

You jumped up, both of you following after him.

It was time to catch this son of a bitch; self-esteem lessons would have to wait until later.

•

The BAU had made it to the unsub’s residence just in the nick of time.

Leroy Fleming was moments away from ending the life of a young woman, who was thankfully saved in time. He had a sordid life with his parents. Parents who most likely had no business having a child.

His mother abused alcohol, drugs and Leroy. She would hit him any chance he got. His father always turned a blind eye, yet he loved his father dearly. He held a grudge against him though because the man never had enough courage nor dignity to leave the mother or the volatile situation.

“Guess that was imprinted on him in his early life. The trigger for his rage,” Spencer said.

You groaned, rubbing your side. You had tackled Leroy after he’d ran from the authorities. It was an impressive move that surprised even yourself, but you were paying the price now.

“You okay?”

Both of his hands held onto the strap of his satchel as he walked next to you, looking over at you concernedly.

“Yeah, just some bruises and sore muscles. Nothing fatal. Now, isn’t it time to tell me all about that girl you have a thing for?”

He grimaced, opening the door for you to the BAU unit.

“Do I have to?”

“Come on. Just think of it as an exercise. Besides we never did have time to go get some actual good coffee. How about making a run now before we have to do all the paperwork?”

“Alright. Just let me stop by my desk, okay?”

“Sounds good. I’ll just go wait by the elevator.” You smiled, walking back out of the bullpen.

Spencer caught Alex’s eye just as he was leaving his desk a few minutes later. She sent him a knowing smile causing one to form on his lips as well.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so terrible after all.

•

After ordering your coffees and receiving them, you and Spencer sat at a table in the coffee shop, enjoying your drinks.

“Okay, now. Tell me about this mystery girl.”

“Well, she’s smart,” Spencer said.

“Smart like you?”

“No, definitely not. That’s not a bad thing either! I’m not calling her dumb or anything! It’s just different than what I’m used to,” he rambled.

“Spence, it’s okay,” you laughed, “I get what you mean. So she’s not on a genius level, but she’s smart. That’s nice though because you will always be able to teach her new things, tell her new facts and statistics that she’s never known.”

“I never thought about it like that,” he mused.

“Okay, tell me more.”

“She’s funny and kind.”

“Two great attributes.”

“She’s also the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. At least, to me she is. That’s why I’m so terrified.”

“Spencer she’s not going to bite you or anything,” you chuckled, “Just relax and take a deep breath okay? You’re just overthinking it.”

“I suppose so.”

“The worst thing that can happen is she says no. I know rejection hurts and it sucks, but wouldn’t you rather take a chance and maybe have something great begin than never to have taken that chance at all?”

“You sound like Blake,” Spencer noted.

“Then I digress.”

“Is this supposed to be making me feel better?” he joked.

“Spence, have a little faith in yourself. You’re a really great guy that any girl would be lucky to have. Even if it doesn't turn out how you hoped, you know that at least you tried.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Let’s get outta here before we move on to lesson two, it’s getting noisy.”

“Lesson two?” his eyebrow arched.

“Mhm. Follow me.”

It wasn’t until you were outside where it was a bit more peaceful that you spoke again.

“Okay, so where are you going to ask her out to?”

“Uh, I don’t know? I never really thought that far ahead,” he smiled sheepishly, “But you can never go wrong with coffee.”

He held up his to go cup, as if to prove his point.

“Yes, good! Ask her out for coffee. It’s the perfect place to sit and talk and enjoy each other’s company. Do you have anything in common with her? What would you talk to her about?”

“Again, not entirely sure.”

“Hmm,” you thought as you walked, “What does she do for work?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?! Spencer, have you even talked to this girl?”

“Yes, I have, stop berating me!” he laughed.

“Well, ask her about her work. That’s a sure fire way to get a conversation flowing,” you smiled, “Now, we’re going to practice.”

You took the last gulp of your coffee, tossing the empty container in the trash can and waiting as he finished his, tossing his for him.

“Practice what exactly?”

“Asking her out. Just practice on me. It’s easy, just say what you would say to her.”

He fumbled, trying to get words out, but kept stuttering.

“No, stop. You’re overthinking it again. Just be straightforward and say it.”

“Alright. Got it,” he cleared his throat before continuing, “I was wondering would you like to go out sometime to get a coffee or something? Whatever you want.”

He was stammering, you could tell even the thought of asking this girl made him nervous.

“Spencer, Spence,” you stopped him, turning him towards you, putting your hands on his arms.

He peered down at you, curiously.

“All you have to do is just simply say, “would you like to go out for coffee sometime?”. It’s as easy as that. Get out of your head. I know you can do this.”

He smiled appreciatively, then nodded.

“Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?” he repeated, “Like that?”

“That was perfect. See? It’s not hard at all.”

You’d reached Quantico again and you patted his arm as you walked in.

“Keep me updated on what happens.”

•

It was almost 24 hours before you had a moment to talk to him alone again. You were heading out for the evening and you were waiting for the elevator to reach the BAU floor when he walked up next to you.

“Hey Romeo, you got a date yet?”

“No, not quite yet,” he answered.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, both of you getting on.

“I haven’t had the chance to thank you, yet. Your advice has really helped me,” he smiled, “Thanks for caring enough to help me out.”

“Of course. I’m happy to help anytime. Now you believe you can go for it, right?”

He turned towards you, smiling.

“Yeah, I believe I can.”

Before you realized what was happening, your face was in his hands and his lips were on yours.

He was hesitant, his lips soft against yours.

You couldn’t believe the explosion of butterflies in your stomach. You had never stopped to think just how you’d felt about him, but this kiss had confirmed that you did, indeed have feelings for him.

The kiss was soft and sweet and too quick for your liking. He pulled back, looking a bit embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, was that okay?”

Your hands had rested on his side at some point during the quick kiss and you smiled up at him.

“‘More than okay.”

He let out a quick breath, not quite a chuckle but his smile grew even more.

“Want to get a coffee with me, sometime?”

“Any time, any place, I’ll be there.”

You leaned up, bringing your lips to his once again.

Score one for Spencer Reid.

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willcwthewisp · 3 years

Text

spirited away | eddie & willow

TIMING: before mother’s day. LOCATION: willow’s apartment. PARTIES: @specterchasing and @willcwthewisp. SUMMARY: eddie goes on a medium-driven chore, but gets medium uno reversed. also the spiderman meme except it’s mediums.

Willow sighed as she lowered her paint brush, feeling that familiar nagging sensation tingling in her neck that came whenever a portrait wasn’t quite right. It looked fine— lovely, even. But there was simply something amiss that the ghost in question hadn’t approved of, and she’d lost the snippets he was saying to her quite some time ago, as if his words had flitted out her open wind on the breeze. Oh well. The piece would be a nice one to sell, and there still might be a person who recognized what it was that she’d painted. There’d been quite a few instances of people coming forward, asking questions about certain pieces she’d done that looked far too similar to their memories of loved ones, or scenes of their youth. That was generally when she passed the painting off to her brother, a medium and exorcist who was much better equipped to deal with the ghost of the painting, and the loved one that came along with it.

It almost came as a relief when she heard a knock at her door. Almost. Rising from her place at the easel in her art room, she peered through the peephole of the door only to be met with the face of someone she’d never seen before. “Ah- sorry, can I help you?” she began nervously, already thinking of the disaster that could strike if she ended up having to open the door. She didn’t have any interest in causing a hospital visit today. Or any day for that matter. Maybe she should request to be moved to the first floor of her complex. Then it’d be a little less worrisome when it came to potentially throwing people across the hallway.

Eddie had some reservations about showing up to a stranger’s house unannounced, but they were outweighed by curiosity and a sense of duty. The ghosts made Willow out to be someone like him. In all of Eddie’s years in White Crest, he’d never had the opportunity to meet someone else who could interact with the dead. Admittedly, it seemed like she had a knack for ignoring them and that didn’t sit well with him, but he tried to reserve judgement until there was proof beyond the claims of a few disgruntled apparitions.

“Yeah, so, hey,” he said, eyes locked onto the peephole. It struck him as odd that she didn’t open the door, but they lived in White Crest, after all. Being careful saved lives. “I know you don’t know me and this is probably wicked weird for you, but I’ve got a message from a, uh, mutual friend that they’d really like you to hear. It’s a little private, so I’d feel a little more comfortable giving it to you in… well, private. You wanna open the door for me?” He thought about reassuring her that he wasn’t some kind of bloodlust-y murderer, but realized that would only make him seem more dangerous.

Willow’s fingers tapped nervously against the door, still looking through the peephole and reminding herself that this man couldn’t see her in return despite the eye contact he made. “A mutual friend?” she echoed, the phrase throwing her. She’d purposefully distanced herself from the bulk of her friends ever since this whole sporadically throwing people problem had come to her attention, and she hadn’t had all that many to begin with. It was a choice of her own, never having been someone to seek out the company of too many people. Willow had been more than happy with that before her telekinesis had made any company dangerous. Now she relied on the people she called at her telemarketing gig to remind herself she was alive. It wasn’t all that helpful when they were yelling half the time.

The ability to say ‘no’ was another of her shortcomings, and Willow walked a few paces back and forth as the man asked to be let in. Going back to the door, she glanced at him once more through the peephole. “I...okay- alright. But just- don’t come too close, okay?” If she could keep a table between him and her, things should be alright. Without further delay, she was opening the door to reveal the interior of her apartment, already taking a few careful steps away from the man.

When Eddie’s question was met with a few long moments of silence, he half-expected his venture to be rendered fruitless. He couldn’t find it in himself to blame Willow for not trusting him, but he did wonder where her sense of adventure was. If a stranger came knocking on his door with the promise of a vague message, they wouldn’t have been able to finish their sentence before he welcomed them in.

Just as he turned away from the door, she finally spoke up. A warning. “No problems there, I’m a big fan of boundaries,” he enthused as the door opened. Willow seemed even more skittish than the average White Crestian as she put ample space between them. Eddie decided not to let it bother him—she likely had her reasons.

“Okay, so, the friend in question is a little on the dead side,” he explained carefully as he stepped into the apartment. “Actually, there’s a few dead friends. Is that… like, is that unusual for you, having dead friends?” As accustomed as he was to having conversations with ghosts, he knew that wasn’t exactly normal. His parents made that perfectly clear to him. If Willow wasn’t as much like him as he hoped she was, he needed to ease her into the subject matter.

“Great- good, that’s good,” Willow babbled nervously as she did exactly as she’d planned, skirting around to the other side of the table that was in her kitchen while Eddie spoke. But the mention of dead friends was more than enough to catch her interest, and in a reflexive move she looked over to the chair that Kal often loved to frequent. He was the ghost she heard most reliably, and currently her best friend seeing as she’d banned herself to as much isolation as possible. Unfortunately she wasn’t entirely sure whether or not he was here at the moment, her focus pulled away from any attempts to perceive him by the stranger in her apartment.

Thankfully, Kal had no problem speaking for himself. The ghost had already taken up a spot at Willow’s shoulder the moment Eddie had stepped into the apartment, feeling rather protective after the last stranger to enter Willow’s abode had left her tired and crying. “What do you want?” the ghost asked the man reflexively, not actually expecting an answer from one of the living. That was- until he recognized the familiar aura of what Eddie was. “Oh shit- you’re a medium, too?”

Willow, still blissfully unaware of the guardian ghost asking questions on her behalf, was doing her best to play it close to the chest. She wasn’t entirely all that private about mediums and their abilities, but it wasn’t exactly the best idea to lead with ‘occasionally I see and hear dead people.’ “Um- do you have dead friends?” she asked, unable to come up with any better reply while being entirely oblivious of that fact that Kal had already given her away.

Willow’s babbling and general nervousness faded into the background the moment Eddie laid eyes on Kal. “I am!” he announced, eyes glistening with pride before finally prying them away to look at Willow. “Looks like we both do,” he said with a wide grin. Hope had taken hold of him before he reached Willow’s apartment, and now he knew it wasn’t in vain. Finally, he knew someone like him; someone he wouldn’t have to hide from, not that he usually did such a good job with keeping secrets. Eddie didn’t know how to be anything except himself, but he thought it might be nice to have someone in his life who didn’t look at him like he was speaking in tongues when he talked about the dead.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, I’m just like you,” he told Willow. He thought it was a little strange that she apparently hadn’t heard the ghost out her, but maybe she was just playing it cool until she knew she could trust him. “Okay, maybe not just like you, but we’ve got a pretty cool common denominator.”

Eddie took a moment to center himself. Amidst the excitement, he nearly forgot what he came here for. He looked back to Kal. “I’m just here to talk to her about her paintings, nothing weird, I promise.” Again, his eyes switched their focus to Willow. “See, some of our dead friends aren’t exactly happy with how they’re being portrayed, and they’ve been very adamant that I bring the issue up to you.”

Willow almost jumped at the stranger’s exuberance, momentarily confused while he replied to Kal. She still couldn’t hear the ghost, her mind moving far too fast at the moment for it to slow down enough to listen to her ‘dead friend.’ “Like me?” she repeated the words skeptically until he began speaking to Kal once again. “So you’re a medium?” Kal put his hands up as if trying to stop Eddie’s words before he could get them out...to little avail. “Hold on- don’t say that!” Willow’s paintings were one of the few, free joys the woman had left in the world, and he wasn’t too keen on seeing whatever reaction she might have in response to the other medium’s claims.

But the words had been said, and Willow’s lips had already turned downwards into the beginning of a frown, looking towards the door of her art room and then back to Eddie. “They don’t like them?” Did they want her to stop? She’d always loved painting the stories she heard from the ghosts, even if some of them were sadder than the rest. Those were the paintings she also gave to her brother, the ones that had such miserable stories attached to them. Surely all ghosts deserved to move on if that’s what they wanted, but the ones that could only focus on their pain...that could only give Willow the traumatic stories of their demise, those were the ones that needed it the most. “I mean...I know my pictures aren’t perfect to what they remember but…” she trailed off with uncertainty, not entirely sure where that sentence had been going.

Kal’s warning went unfortunately unheeded, and Eddie only realized its importance once he saw the frown on Willow’s face. Her second question dampened his initial excitement. He didn’t know how important her paintings were to her, but it already sounded like he wounded her pride. So much for making friends.

“Well, I didn’t say that,” he quickly backtracked. “I’m sure they really appreciate the time and effort you put into memorializing them—I know I would.” Eddie spent more time than he cared to admit wondering about his own demise and what would follow it; how he’d be remembered. If someone cared enough to put his final moments on canvas, he couldn’t imagine being anything other than grateful. “Really, they just have a few minor critiques. You know ghosts, they can be a little picky.” He shot Kal an apologetic glance. “I know how hard it can be to feel the pressure of someone’s last wishes on your shoulders, it makes you really wanna do right by them, but there’s no way to do it perfectly every time, y’know? And only a few have come to me, so I bet you’re actually doing a really great job overall.”

The stranger was sure of the dead’s gratitude because the ghosts had said as much to him? Or was it because he assumed such a thing? “Did they...tell you that?” Willow asked tentatively, hoping that the answer might be yes. She didn’t paint solely for the ghosts, but it’d be nice to know that they got some enjoyment out of it as well. She’d always thought they liked having their stories listened to, being given a moment to relay something important of their life and seeing it painted before their very eyes. Still standing behind Willow was Kal, nodding his head emphatically as if he could provide the answer for Eddie, or at least signal the other man into giving a good one.

The mention of ghosts being less than fond of her paintings was awkward enough, but now came the part where Willow had to tell this man that she actually wasn’t all that familiar with working for the dead, at least not in the way most mediums were. She wasn’t as self-conscious about her lack of abilities when it came to her family, having accepted long ago that she was different, and actually being somewhat grateful for the fact that she’d gotten to live a life of her own rather than one ruled by the departed. But when such an admission was being made to another medium that wasn’t related to her...well, it was nerve wracking to say the least. “Ah- well- about that. I don’t actually see and hear them all that well. Just sometimes. Not like the rest of my family or most mediums or whatever.” The last of his words had another semi-hopeful spark entering her eyes. “Really? You think so? Do you know which paintings the ones that have come to you are upset about?”

Seeing Kal’s emphatic nodding convinced Eddie to mirror the action. “Yeah, of course,” he said. In truth, they were usually more concerned with their grievances than what they enjoyed about Willow’s work, but Eddie felt like her spirit had been crushed enough for one evening. If she needed to hear a white lie to keep her self-esteem from folding in on itself, he would more than happily oblige.

“Oh,” Eddie uttered upon hearing her confession, more interested in learning that her family shared her gift than anything else. He wondered what that must be like—to be surrounded by people that understood you. Mild jealousy flared in his gut. He thought he’d met someone like him, but instead it seemed to inhabit two completely different worlds. “At least you have people in your life who can help translate,” he offered, smiling sadly in spite of himself.

Willow’s follow-up question pulled him out of his self-pity. “Yeah, one sec.” He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and opened the notes app. “George, the guy who died in a house fire, he said his eyes weren’t that close together. Shelly, the elderly woman who died of natural causes, says that you got her bedroom all wrong—she can’t stand your choice of wallpaper. And, um, Andrea, killed by some kind of demonic moose, would like it if you painted her with a little more dignity. She swears she didn’t go out screaming.” Eddie looked up from his phone to see how much damage their criticism had done. “See? Not so bad, just… little things.”

“Really?” Willow asked again, rather smitten with the thought that the ghosts might like her work. Sure, the person she painted most for was herself but...it was still nice to hear that people had enjoyed your work— especially when they were the inspiration. “Well then...I’m glad they like it.” The very beginnings of a smile had taken to the corners of Willow’s lips, looking the most relaxed she had since this conversation began.

But that smile quickly turned to concern as Eddie spoke. He didn’t have anyone with him? How had he learned about the world of ghosts in the first place? “You parents...they can’t sense ghosts?” Willow supposed the ability didn’t have to run in families, but she was rather biased when she’d been raised in a family full of spirit-sensing humans. “Well you know- if you ever needed someone to help you translate I’m sure anyone in my family would be happy to. Especially my mom or brother.” It’d been some ten minutes of knowing the man after he’d shown up unaccounted at her door, and she was already offering him access to her family. This was probably what some of her more cynical friends were talking about when they said her kindness would get her hurt.

Willow listened carefully to his requests, trying to memorize them all before she realized she’d most likely forget. “Do you think you could send the list to me? I could give you my number.” Then he’d also have it if he had any ghost questions, and was too nervous to ask how to contact her in the future. Going over what she remembered from his list, her lips pursed ever so slightly as she thought of the paintings in question. She couldn’t be sure, but this seemed more like an issue of vanity rather than her skill. Except for the wallpaper one. She often filled in the lesser details of paintings that ghosts didn’t bother to outline with her own artistic license. “Yeah- not too big.” Now that it was clear it was more the ghost’s problem than her’s, she was somewhere closer to being set at ease.

At the sight of Willow’s sort-of-smile, Eddie grinned from ear-to-ear. It felt like he managed to do something right. “Yeah, me too,” he enthused. He didn’t know Willow well, or at all really, but he already had a sense she might need the validation. Eddie couldn’t blame her, he had a lot in common with Tinker Bell, himself. When the applause stopped, so did his heart. Considering that, he realized he might have been projecting, but doing so in this instance seemed harmless enough.

The smile dropped as quickly as it disappeared, giving Eddie a taste of emotional whiplash. Willow seemed concerned about him, he didn’t intend for that, but her offer struck him right in the heart. “I don’t really wanna bother anyone,” he said politely while every fiber of his being revolted against his ill-timed manners. “But, I mean, if they… if they would be happy to help, like you said, it’d probably be better for everyone if I took you up on that, right? Who wants an uneducated medium running around solo?” He shrugged while his heart beat wildly in his chest. Finally, people who would understand him. Eddie’s throat tightened as he considered the possibilities.

“Oh, yeah, no problem!” Eddie brandished phone and closed the distance between Willow and himself with little regard for how intentionally she’d cultivated it. “Here you go,” he said amicably as he offered the device to her.

Oh! The younger man looked very nice when he smiled, like he didn’t have a single intention to hurt anyone that lived in this world. The change in his demeanor had her mirroring it instinctually, and her own smile grew bigger— as if they were stuck in a feedback loop of grins. While he began to speak of being a bother, Willow’s head was already shaking in a fierce denial of the concept, not willing to let him disparage himself in her presence. “You’re not! I’m the one who offered, anyway! And I mean- it’s always nice to have more ghost friends, isn’t it?” Friends were the last thing she needed while she was a literal flight risk in the sense of sending those around her sailing via telekinesis. But she couldn’t just let him fumble in this strange world by himself. “Perfect, then! I could put you into contact with my brother first! He’s the most involved with all the spiritual stuff- he’s actually an exorcist in addition to his mediumship.” If this young man latched onto her brother, Forest, there was also less risk of him coming around Willow to get hurt.

Gingerly accepting his phone while being careful to avoid any contact, Willow tapped her number into the contacts, adding her name to the entry. Oh, right- she hadn’t actually introduced herself quite yet. “I’m Willow, by the way. Willow Finch.” She made no inclination to offer a hand for shaking, still avoiding physical contact at all costs.

The moment Willow uttered the words ‘ghost friends’, Eddie felt a rush of unexpected affection. His entire life, most people either completely denied the existence of ghosts or spoke poorly of them. For a moment, Eddie struggled to find the right words to say, an unheard of predicament for him. “Sorry,” he said with a laugh. “It’s just—you ever hear something that sounds too good to be true? I’m waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me.” Not only did her family have mediums, it had exorcists. He wondered if she knew how lucky she was.

Eddie watched as she entered her phone number, half-expecting it to begin with 555. “Oh, right, I kinda did walk into your home without telling you who I am, didn’t I?” It wouldn’t be the first time he disregarded common courtesy and overstepped boundaries, and it likely wouldn’t be the last either. “The ghosts told me your name, but I’m Eddie, Eddie Carridine. It’s awesome to meet you, Willow Finch.”

Willow’s heart already ached for him, recognizing a loneliness in his words that she knew intimately these days. Perhaps their situations of isolation were from different patterns, but they’d been cut from the same cloth. The feeling of being alone wasn’t kind in the least, no matter where it stemmed from. Not for the first time she wished she could lend someone physical comfort in addition to emotional solace, the desire to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder growing stronger the longer he stood in front of her. “Of course. The world can be disappointing in the worst ways,” she began softly while forcing herself to stay where she was. “But I also know me and my family. And I bet you’ll be begging to get rid of us before they’d even think about leaving you alone. It’s just not in our blood.” After all, wasn’t that one of the tenants of being a medium? Ensuring that not even the dead were left behind, let alone one of their own. Where that was potentially comforting to Eddie, it was less than ideal for Willow— constantly having to make her own space when it came to the people that loved and raised her for fear of hurting them.

“You were just trying to help,” Willow began with a chuckle, the only reservations left in her being based around keeping Eddie out of arms-length. And so far he’d respected that. “And the dead...they have a lot less people helping them than the living- so I’m glad you did.” Her smile was softer this time, still settling into who she was while she was less concerned about a stranger being in her home. “It’s awesome to meet you too, Eddie.”

Kal elected this as good a time as ever to re-enter the conversation, some of his wariness stirpped away as the conversation proceeded. Besides— he was naturally inclined to like any medium he came across. “She means it- you know. About not leaving people alone. She can’t see me half the time, but she still talks to me. Even if she’s not even sure I’m here. She’d do the same for you.” It was why he’d become so attached to Willow in the first place, unable to deny the heart she had for caring.

Eddie smiled sadly when Willow mentioned disappointment. The world let him down a few times, but he placed the blame on himself more often than not. He made eye contact with his biggest disappointment every time he looked in the mirror. Willow swiftly pulled his mood out of the gutters of self-deprecation when she told him he wouldn’t be left alone, not by her family. A lump formed in his throat, forcing Eddie to convince himself not express such intense emotions around someone he met minutes ago. “Where’ve you guys been my whole life?” he asked, making an attempt at levity. Nothing she said felt real, but Eddie had a penchant for far-fetched beliefs.

“Yeah, you actually get it,” he said, nodding as he did. It made sense for a fellow medium to empathize with ghosts, but that didn’t make it any less surreal. “I’m glad I did too, otherwise we might not have ever met. That would’ve been a pretty big loss, I think.” He didn’t want to sound too certain, he knew how intense he could be.

Kal captured his attention next, confirming what Willow said. The lump in Eddie’s throat quivered, forcing him to clear it. “You guys make quite the duo,” he observed. “I, um, appreciate it—everything, I mean.” His gaze turned back to Willow. “You didn’t have to be so kind, most people wouldn’t. So, I… yeah, I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”

Willow could tell he was on the verge of spilling over, she recognized it well when she’d seen it so often in herself. A gentle shrug tugged at her shoulders in response to his question, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood, but unable to perfectly match the nonchalance. “Just sitting here waiting, I guess. I think you’re actually running a bit late.” Another bell-like laugh trickled from her lips, not wanting to come on too strongly despite the kindness in her words. But she recognized a lost soul when she saw one, even if she’d seen less wandering spirits than most mediums had.

She got it. Maybe not quite as much as someone with fully realized abilities, but she’d seen enough of it through her sister and brother, and parents as well. For a moment Willow was also overcome by emotion, her throat tightening as Eddie landed his compliments. How long had it been since she’d had such a tender moment in person? How long had it been since she’d made actual eye contact with someone for this extended amount of time? “I think I’m the one who would have been missing out,” she answered with the corners of her eyes crinkling in a welcoming happiness. She didn’t mind his intensity, oftentimes having a penchant for it herself when it came to the delicate side of life.

Willow was silent a moment while she assumed Kal was talking to Eddie, reckoning the way his gaze flitted to the ghost over her shoulder. She’d seen it in the eyes of her family more than enough times. “Kal’s been here with me when...I haven’t been able to see much of anyone else. He does just as much for me as I do for him.” Possibly even more. “The way I see it- kindness is free, isn’t it?” Another shrug claimed her, and for a moment she thought she could almost feel Kal’s hand as he laid it onto her shoulder. “I’m just glad I can give it. You just focus on being kind to yourself, and we’ll call it even, yeah?”

Fresh tears stung Eddie’s eyes. He immediately blinked them away, trying his best to save face. Showing his emotions rarely sat well with him, but he felt safe here even though he only just arrived. “Sorry,” he offered yet another apology as a second wave of tears formed in his eyes. “I’m sorry, this is probably so awkward.” He wondered what Willow thought of him crying at the first sign of kindness. Eddie pulled the hem of his jacket’s sleeve into his palm and wiped away the evidence of his emotional outpouring. “I promise, I don’t usually do this in front of people I’ve just met… or anyone, actually.” He let out an empty huff of laughter, suddenly unable to make eye contact.

The blows kept coming as Willow turned the compliment around on him. “Yeah, well, we’ll see,” he countered. “Get back to me when you’ve known me for a few hours.” Eddie felt pathetic and happy at the same time; exposed and protected. It didn’t make sense, emotions weren’t supposed to contradict each other so harshly, not in his experience.

Eddie watched as Kal’s hand rested on Willow’s shoulder. He said she couldn’t see him half the time, but Eddie liked to think he could recognize love when saw it. An irresistible urge came over him and, before better judgement could kick in, his arms wrapped around Willow.

Willow was a sympathy crier. There was no way around it, and her own eyes were beginning to well as she watched Eddie’s fill with tears, though her’s were born of the happiness that came from witnessing the weight fall from the other medium’s shoulders. Her heart ached for him, recognizing just how desperate he must be to break down so easily when faced with the bare minimum in terms of showings of kindness. Her own clumsy laugh danced with Eddie’s while she gave him whatever time he needed to recollect himself. She’d already decided she was going to ask him to stay for some juice and cookies. Or maybe wine and cookies? He looked fairly young, just at the cusp of drinking age. Someone so young should never have been as alone as he seemed, and her soul began to hurt all over again.

All that turned to panic in the very blink of an eye as Eddie reached for a hug, and Willow’s hands were thrown out in front of her while she yelled frantically, “No! Don’t!” But it was too late, and as the young man came into contact with her hands she felt the telekinesis flash along with her flaring emotions. In another blink, he was pulsed back from her with a thrust far too powerful for the force to have come from her hands alone. “Oh god- oh god,” she gasped as she ran to his landing place on the couch. He’d fallen on something soft, but she wouldn’t feel relief until she knew he was alright. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Oh no- oh god I’m so sorry.” This time her tears were ones of dread and hopelessness. She should have known. Should have known things were going far too well, and that danger was lurking around the corner.

Eddie pushed the envelope often, it didn’t always end well, but he could honestly say that being telekinetically launched across the room was a first. He hit the couch with a thud, feeling like the air in his lungs had been knocked out of him. Before he could manage to sit up, Willow appeared next to him spewing apologies and concern. Eddie looked up at her, recognizing that she never meant to hurt him, and couldn’t help laughing. His lungs hurt, but he preferred the pain over crying. Propping himself up on his elbows, Eddie shook his head. “Hey, accidents happen,” he said with a wide grin. “But, uh, do you think you could teach me how to do that?”

Accidents happened, but they happened far too often when it came to Willow and her telekinesis. “But they shouldn’t,” she insisted, head shaking even as she skittered to put space between her and Eddie once again. “I don’t- I don’t control it.” The admission was paired with a blanket of shame and guilt falling over her features. Eddie had trusted her to give an answer when she offered help, and she was already failing the first question of that test. “I’m sorry- I can’t- I don’t know how to teach you. I don’t even know how to teach myself.” That was why he should stick around her brother more than he ever clung to her. “You should- you should go for now, I don’t want to hurt you if you stay longer.” How could she offer him a home, and then cast him out in the next breath? Was that not the cruelest thing she could have done? But if he left disappointed, at least he left whole and with his life still intact.

“Thank you, though.” He’d given her so much in just the span of a half an hour or so. “Really- thank you. I’m um- I’m glad the ghosts chose you to deliver the message, and brought you here.” Now the ghosts of her anxiety would just have to get him to leave. “And I do want you to text me.” In person wasn’t something she was willing to offer in the wake of having lost control, but she remembered how relieved he’d look immediately before everything had gone south, the look of a man crawling towards an oasis in the midst of a desert while he’d throw himself into his attempted hug. She wanted to be the person that quenched his loneliness. Willow just wasn’t sure how to do it while keeping him in one piece.

#// I AM EMO ABOUT THESE TWO MEDIUMS #AND FRANKIE IS A GIFT #wickedswriting #chatzy #ch:eddie #spirited away

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gray-is-neutral · 3 years

Text

Supernatural

a fan fiction pt.4

Cas’ POV

Feelings are odd. It’s funny how a few little chemicals can effect your whole way of thinking. There is still so much I don’t understand about humans, but I’m pretty sure they don’t understand it themselves. Humans can’t choose what they feel, and even though they know this, they get mad at the other fir feeling the way they do? Why can’t these things be rational?

But there is no rationality for how I feel for Dean Winchester. It’s self destructive, addictive, and insane. It caused me so much grief, but I don’t want not to feel this way for him.

We all have our additions. Alcohol, drugs, sex, demon blood, but my poison gives the best high. It’s soul crushing and I love it. Being in love with Dean Winchester is literal hell, but it’s paradise too. How does one explain that? Most days, I would gladly punch him right in the nose, but that thought makes me sad.

Looking at him now, the Empty didn’t matter. It was horrible. I was in pain, and I just wanted to stop existing. He looked at me, and like every time, my heart melted.

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked. He wants to talk about the confession. I was so happy I told him, but that was when I was just going to die right after! I didn’t need to deal with the possibility of rejection. Why does this feel so bad? What the...fuck? Yes fuck! What the fuck is this? Why? Why are emotions so hard?

Now I’m worried what Dean feels for me. I mean, he went to the Empty to save me, and then, “Then I’ll stay with you.” Did he mean it? Was he just trying to motivate me? Would he have stayed in the Empty with me? Forever?

He didn’t even tell Sam, however. I was the one to tell him, and I’m regretting that I did.

“You’re in love with Dean?” he asked surprised. “I admitted that I did. I thought he would have told you?” I said. “Dude. It’s Dean. He would rather get on a plane and sky dive into a volcano than talk about feelings. No chic flic moments, remember?” Sam had said and smiled. “Yeah, I remember,” I told him.

“If you ever think about sacrificing your self for me or anyone else, I will drag your ass back from the dead to kill you myself,” Dean said. I looked at him. He looked relatively normal, but his eyes told a whole other story. Deans eyes always have what he calls “Chick flic” moments. He won’t say a word, but his eyes would scream what he’s feeling.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said, feeling myself relax. Sam was right. “Dean won’t be able to just come out and talk about his feelings. He just...can’t,” he had said. Dean’s experience in love has been Hell. The lack of live from his parents. Loosing Lisa and Ben, and being forced to be responsible for his younger brother like a parent would, Dean’s....love map? Yes, that is what it’s called. His love map isn’t right. He’s still learning, and how can someone love another person, if they don’t love themselves first?

“We’re back with pie!” Jack yelled as they entered the bunker. It was hard to believe that he was God now. I looked at the child I helped raise. Dean regrets everything he’s done and said about him. He loves Jack, and I know he wishes he could take it all back. Maybe we can all start to actually heal now? No more big evils. Just family, and time.

“Hell yeah!” Dean said. “Uno?” Sam said, walking in. “Really?” “Well you two were taking forever,” said Dean. “What were we supposed to do? Braid each other’s hair?” Dean said, digging in the grocery bags for the pie. “I also have liquor!” said Jack, a little too proud of himself. “I can drink even though I’m God, right?” he asked.

“I guess we couldn’t stop you?” Sam said. I smiled despite myself. I missed this most of all. I was never letting this go again. It was too perfect. “We got the movies! They’re scary movies!” Jack anounces as he finds himself a place on the couch. “Hurry or I’ll start it without you guys!” he called. “I’m making popcorn! Wait!” Sam called.

Dean was getting a piece of pie, as I was looking for ice. “Hey I know angels don’t normally eat, he said, taking a huge bite of the piece he cut for himself. “But do you want a piece? It’s pretty good,” he said. “No I’m good,” I said. “Good, I didn’t want to share,” he said. He had pie all over his face. I held a straight face, and then imagined us like a scene in a movie. He would ask if I wanted any and I would kiss him, and say something teasing. Like, “You had enough on your mouth.” But then I thought that would be disgusting.

He walked out of the kitchen to claim his seat of the couch as Jack got up to get something. Probably candy.

“Dude he is definitely in love with you,” said Sam, joking. “He just doesn’t offer pie,” he said. “Your not funny. Leave it alone Sam. “I thought you two were together now?” Jack asked.

I honestly would have rather been with the Empty. No amount of torture could compare to this. I am getting better with expressions, I think.

“Stop that,” I said. “Can’t we just enjoy a movie?” I said, as Sam grabbed a six pack of some kind of beer. “Yeah, sure,” said Sam. “Opposite sides of the couch!” Sam yelled as Jack laughed. He wasn’t sure why he was laughing, just that it was supposed to be funny.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room. “What are we watching?” I asked. “Some horror movie,” he said. “Y’know, you aren’t obligated to hang out with us. You did just come from the Empty. If this is too much for you-“ “No,” I said. “I was isolated. I don’t wanna be alone,” I said.

He cleared his throat as his brother sat on the other side of him. “I got this!” Jack said, making the movie play with his mind. The kid is literally God, but he is so amazed that he has powers, isn’t that...sweet? Jack may be God, but he’s still Jack.

The movie played and Jack soon realized he didn’t like horror movies. “It’s a ghost! Salt! Why won’t they get salt?” By the third movie, Sam had fallen asleep and Jack was deep into the movie. I didn’t really care for it, but I was happy just to have this. This is normality. Movies, junk food, our family. It was perfect.

I noticed a sudden solid warmth on my shoulder. Dean had fallen asleep. How many sleepless nights had he gone through? He’s never fallen asleep like this. Not this vulnerable.

I smiled. Never mind, now it is perfect. I relaxed into this normalcy. I don’t sleep, but I closed my eyes to let myself take in the peace.

Suddenly, the Tv went to static. “Is your party super boring?” a commercial voice said over the tv. The people that looked like children look-alikes of us agreed, upset. “No problem! Just invite your good friend! Gabriel!”

“Heya boys, miss me?” Gabriel asked.

...

“How are you-?” Dean started. “Me? I’m good,” he said. “Castiel!” he said. “This is an exciting day for us, isn’t it?” “Gabriel, how did you?” I started. “Get pass the warding? Oh I just hitched a ride on that lil’ CD, now let me help you boys out.”

Suddenly, we were in a club setting. The place was empty. “You guys don’t have many friends, no surprise, but uhh how’s about some entertainment?” he said. Exotic dancers, male and female, appeared. “Gabriel!” Sam yelled, having had enough.

“Oh!” he lightly tapped his head as though he had forgotten something. “Sorry Sammy, is this more your speed?” We heard a confused scream. Eileen appeared from no where. “Sam!” she called upon seeing him. “Oh wait! Sorry you two broke up right? How’s this?”

A woman in a doctor’s uniform appeared. “What the fuck?” she said turning around quickly. “Where the hell am I? What just happened?” she said. “Enough!” Jack said. We were suddenly back in the bunker, but so were Eileen and the woman.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jack God sir,” Gabriel said, innocently. “I just wanted to express my gratitude,” he said. “For?” Sam asked. “Why? You saved me!” Gabriel said, dramatically draping himself across Sam. “If you hadn’t woken me up, I would have never escaped the Empty!”

“What?” Dean said, shaking the glitter from his hair. “My new bestie, Sammy boy here, threw those fireworks right by my head. I woke up and high tailed it out of there,” he said. “Did anyone else escape?” Jack asked. “A few low-level demons. Some low level angels. Crowley, Michael, Luci-“ he said.

I could have cried. Never, we can’t just have one normal night can we? “Don’t worry,” said Jack, taking Gabriel by the shoulder. “You guys help them, I’ll handle things really quickly,” he said and just like that, he was gone.

“Jordan!” Dean exclaimed, going to her side. So this is Dr. Jordan Blake. “What in bloody Hell is going on around here?” she demanded. I looked at Sam who was trying to talk to Eileen, it was in sign language, so I didn’t understand.

“I was in New York, and I’m where now?” Dr. Blake asked, trying to make sense of it all. “Look,” Dean said, gently embracing her. “If you stay for just a minute, we can talk and I will explain everything,” Dean said. She nodded and he cupped her face.

Eileen just wanted to leave. Sam offered to drive her home, but she said no. It was hard to tell how they felt about the other. Sam seemed to want to be with her, but Eileen seemed to want to forget recent events. I didn’t blame her because I understand wanting to forget. She felt used and forced. Now sh egg doesn’t know how she feels or felt. She doesn’t know if it was real. But did forgetting what happened also mean forgetting Sam?

Jack soon returned and took Eileen home. “Call me?” Sam asked. “Maybe,” she said quitely. Then she was gone.

I looked at the doctor, but soon noticed his young shr was. A little younger than Sam. I felt a pang of jealousy. He was so soft with her, but then I thought about the way he looked. It wasn’t how he looked at Lisa. It was how he looked at Jo or Sam.

He saw her like a sister, and for a second I was jealous of her. This is pathetic.

Dean gave her the her the speech. “Angels?” she huffed. “Of course it’s angels,” she laughed. “If I hear another thing about angels tonight,” she said.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked her. She rose her shirt to show the same tattoo that Sam and Dean had. “You’re a hunter,” said Sam.

This was going to be a long night.

#dean x cas #dean x castiel #gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day #supernatural #fan fiction #jack is god #destiel #dean #castiel #sam is a matchmaker #sam #Jack #sorry I love original characters #Cas is shy #gabriel #please dont come for me #i’m sensitive

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butterbeeryuta · 4 years

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chenle as your best friend

ok so like the 2 of you met when ya'll were about 6-7 at some summer art programme

at that age, you just liked to see colour on paper regardless if it looked shit or not.

NOW, chenle sits beside you right and he notices be doesn't have a blue crayon with him, but omg! you have it (a/n: cries in cliché)

so this kid who's prob wearing the finest clothes from head to toe just grabs your blue crayon from the tray— and boy are you annoyed and angry

'hey you could've at least asked!'

'well can I use the blue crayon?'

'oh... i guess yeah'

lmao you were such an awkward bean (still are)

anyway after the whole crayon thing, you were waiting for your mum/dad/guardian to pick you up, and so was chenle. chenle then sat beside you again and ya'll just started talking and playing together

ya'll were in different schools. but that didn't stop the 2 of you to meet each other on almost e v e r y weekened, like

'hey i got the uno machine, wanna play on saturday?'

'chenle i have test on monday'

'it's an uno machine'

'okay yeah sure.'

so when ya'll were like 11-13 (puberty ew), ppl started questioninh your friendship and was asking if it's mORe than that— but lol it's not

you just enjoyed having each other around since ya'lls characters balances out so well; chenle is far far more loud, cheerful, and optimistic. whereas you're more on the 'serious' side and usually stays quiet— but you have a galaxy brain soOooO

so whenever ppl do ask, the two of you say 'no,' but then again,,,, who tf will take 'no' for an answer

SO 15-16, zhong chenle moved to korea to be a part of nct dream, and it was painful for the two of you

you went to drop him off at the airport, and he promised to you that he'll try to message and call you as much as possible while you hug him tightly cause you really don't want him to go even though you know he deserves it and it's just pure emo hours at this point

so during his training years he tells you all the good tea like 'omg there's like 6 chinese members here whoAaaa' 'yo yo yo there's this guy named taeyong andD HE IS SO COOL WHOAAAAAA' and it's so cute and ur really happy he's having fun, but you do miss him a lot

eventually chenle also misses you a lot, and he starts to tell renjun, winwin, and basically everyone about how he misses his best friend y/n ~soft~ hours are open

CHENLE DEBUTS YEy. you're having like severe palpitations rn cause that's ur fucking best friend living his dream like yEAH!!!! you tell your parents, your friend group, your chemistry tutor, your dog, the cashier— EVERYONE god you're annoying skjskjdkssk

you message chenle a LOT!

'DUDE WTF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT'

'goddamn ya'll look so cute and the song does nOT help'

'also is that the jeno guy? he really cute 🤭'

but ofc, he's busy. and yeah, he hasn't been responding as much as before. although you understood his busy schedule, you can't help but feel disappointed and sad.

BUT, whenever he does get time, i promise you he apologises and calls you whenever he can. chenle is a sweetheart, he'd never betray you like that.

OK SO FAST FORWARD TO 2019 BOOM ERA

so like any other typical fic, you managed to book yourself to korea and surprise your best friend for his birthdayyyyy

over the years you got to know renjun a lot through messages and calls since he always joins chenle when ya'll call each other so yeah— renjun is THAT guy

kneeways, you and renjun talked abt the plans, the cakes, and even helped you with korean so that you'd be able to talk to the rest of the members (and maybe jeno if ur confident enough but let's be honest, they've ALL become gorgeous humans you must be insanse to think you'd be able to talk to them casually)

you've arrived in gimpo airport, renjunnie arranged someone to pick you up— and it's time to surprise your best friend lele

so yeah while jisung and chenle were filming, you got to help out with the decorations and stuff with the rest of the dreamies.

the boys were all so nice to you despite the language barrier,

'AHHH so ur the friend chenle keeps talking about, do you know any shit that he does so we can use it to blackmail him or some—'

'haechan it's his birthday, calm the fuck down for one second.' renjun being the true dom he is

OkaYY SO THEY COMING and you were panicking cause you havent seen him in years and you werent sure what to do and just before they came in ofc you tripped

chenle started laughing and screaming. he was so overwhelmed with the surprise, until he saw you flat on the floor probably moaning in pain

'Y/nnnNnnnNNN??!' THE KID IS SHOOK

'Uh yeah, listen i wanna give you a hug and all but help your friend out'

he immediately went over to you and helped u up and ya'LL just hugged and like he lifted you up a little and he's just so happy rn and he doesnt know what to do except to hold you

'AWWWWWWWWWW' -00 line

you genuinely start crying cause you missed his chaotic and happy ass so much. you looked up at him and you can tell he's changed so much. you saw from pics that he has changed, but you didnt fully acknowledge how much he grew up.

he starts laughing at your emotional and crying state and hugs you even more— it's all cute stuff at this point

'okay uhh i know ya'll miss each other and stuff, but chenle your cake is gonne melt' - park jisung, 2019

ya'll celebrated, ya'll spilled stories about each other, and everyone just had a good time

'jeno hyung y/n has a crush on you'

that little fucker

chenle couldnt have been happier, and neither could you

a/n: okay please hate me all you want i've been silent for so fucking long. university applications have started and i have to meet deadlines and shit so yeah, i've been prioritising my school work these days. laces and things WILL continue from December onwards cause i'll be on break then, so please stay patient. also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LELE. he's been my bias in dream for god knows how long, and he's such a loving and cute guy, how can you not love him. i hope you had the best birthday with the ppl who genuinely deserve you.

#nct #crack #nct dream #imagines #imagine #chenle #zhong chenle #lee haechan #haechan #lee donghyuck #donghyuck #huang renjun #renjun #lee jeno #jeno #park jisung #jisung #na jaemin #jaemin

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themilky-way · 5 years

Text

Different Colors {p.p}

gif credit: mentioned above!

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

summary: you and peter develop a friendship as you help each other cope with the aftermath of Endgame.

warnings: some angst?? and there are some minor hints of depression and I am not trying to romanticize it so please, if you notice some errors and mistakes w how I wrote it, let me know so I can fix! and this contains some endgame spoilers so if you haven't seen it, I recommend you don’t read this and skip it! this doesn’t contain ffh spoilers so no need to worry!

author’s note: this is more platonic than romantic so I wanted to try out something new! also I'm in my peter parker feels bc this hoe watched far from home so request some peter stuff folks. additionally, does the “keep reading” thing work for ya’ll? its being a b to me on my laptop but it works on my phone so lemme know

----------

life after the final war was difficult. smiling and pushing forward was hard enough on its own. you felt numb and weak, despite putting on a mask of strength for your family and everyone around you. your father, one of the most important figures in your life and in the entire universe, had left. bright images adorned every street you walked through, framed family portraits roamed every corridor in your home, your supposed safe haven.

you tried your very best to keep going, to put in your mind the fact that tony stark died heroically and to save the universe. at the start of every new day, you told yourself these exact words so you would move on. but, nonetheless, you simply couldn’t. it was at these points in your life where you envied your sister’s youth. morgan was too young to fully comprehend the death of her father and, thus, didn’t grieve as deeply as the others did.

you eventually started disappearing to the rest of the avenger’s, who were now dispersed mentally amongst themselves, but still lived at the headquarters. your visits would be less frequent and when you did go, it was only to deliver some personal drawings morgan would make of them in school. sometimes, if the group was lucky, you would actually come inside for a quick chat.

back home wasn't any different either. pepper would notice the full plates of food in the fridge you refused to eat, using the lame excuse of “I’m just not hungry tonight.” your bedroom lights were now always off and replaced with a candle you lit 24/7 next to a picture of tony. the house was quiet. everything that had to do with your persona was now excruciatingly quiet.

worried for her daughter’s wellbeing, pepper found herself dialing a number she never would have called. her shaking, skinny fingers pressed each digit on the phone screen and finally hit the call button. she pressed it against her ear and prayed, on everything that has ever been sacred, that the child on the other end would pick up. and when they finally did, their voice audibly breaking as yours now always did, things began to change.

you, the daughter of a famous billionaire and hero to the universe, met peter parker a month after tony’s funeral. you opened the door to your dim-lighted room to come face to face with your mom, a young boy who looked about your age, and your sister, morgan.

pepper’s eyes looked red from crying and so did the boy’s, whilst morgan’s were confused and worrisome. your eyes, however, were tired and dark circles now adorned your once soft features. you were scared that something had happened, senses toppling with one another as you tried to register any other dangers to your family.

“mom, what’s going on? are you alright, did anything happen? mo, are you sick?” your voice was hoarse and came out in strangled vowels as your eyes questioned everyone there.

“we’re doing alright, bub, no need to worry. is it alright if we come in to talk to you?” pepper asked. you agreed, and stepped aside so everyone could pass through.

as everyone made their way into your room, you sat down crisscross on one side as pepper and morgan sat in front of you. the boy, unlike your mother and sister, stood awkwardly at the end of your bed.

“(y/n), this is peter parker, the one with the stark internship. peter, you can come closer if you’d like,” pepper said as she motioned to peter. the boy obliged, inching a few steps forward with his hands in the pockets of his black jeans.

“um, hey peter, I guess?” your hands fiddled with each other in your lap as you said so, but you managed to look up at peter, who in turn looked away in a shy manner. flicking your eyes back to pepper’s, before asking her what this was all about.

“well, honey, ever since your father passed away, you’ve been distant and I understand we’re all still coping with it. but I-we-have noticed that you’re isolating yourself and have completely lost communication with us.” your mom’s hands reached over to cover yours, which were nervously shaking. “(y/n), we all miss him. we all loved him. but if we don’t let the pain from our past go, we can’t heal.”

amidst your mom’s speech, you couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment where you had let your emotions get the best of you. you felt the salty taste of your tears run down your lips and neck as you made no effort in wiping them away. you needed to get it out.

that’s when peter and morgan handed you a tissue and you looked up to see their outstretched hands holding the thin material towards you. you took the tissue from both of them, using one to wipe your eyes and the other to blow your nose. peter, who was still in an awkward position, stepped in.

“it’s y/n), right?” he paused as you gave him a nod. “I know we don’t know each other at all but your mom asked me to come check on you. I agreed because I figured we both lost a father, and we could help each other as best we could.”

“my dad talked about you a lot. after the snap, he would always dedicate his evenings to finding out a solution. he really did love you as a son. morgan and I just never got a chance to meet you,” you recited. peter was listening intently as you spoke with his arms crossed over his chest, eyes beginning to fill with tears at your words.

pepper was quiet amongst your first interaction with peter. this is what she wanted. she wanted to know what and how you felt, your thoughts that have been running through your head since her husband’s sacrifice. and she knew she didn't make a mistake when you began to open up.

pepper motioned to morgan to give you and peter some time to talk and morgan happily obeyed her mom. they both got up from the bed which caused you to face them with a confused expression.

your mother acknowledged your confusion and spoke with a calm and quiet tone, “we’re gonna let you guys talk for a while, is that okay, honey? peter?”

“I-uh-um yeah that's fine, mom,” you said. you shifted to face peter to find an answer and for a few seconds his gaze switched between you and pepper. “yeah that's totally fine. there’s things that I need to get out of my chest, too.”

your mom smiled lightly and took Morgan’s tiny hand in her own as she walked out of the room. before closing the door completely, morgan’s free hand raised to give you a small wave and you returned it, a genuine smile crossing your features for the first time in a while. the door shut, the light that was once in your room leaving alongside the two people you loved.

you leaned over to turn the lamp on your nightstand on, the light momentarily blinding you because you had become used to a darker ambient. both you and peter had a chance to appropriately greet each other and offered him the chair from your desk.

afterwards, you both sat across from each other and simply talked. it was a conversation that neither of you expected to be comforting, but it was. feelings and emotions escaped out of you and you swore that you felt your heart began to stitch itself back together.

and that’s how it was from that point on. you and peter began to hang out a couple times per week; helping him out with a spider-man problem or even as simple as solving a physics equation was enough to bring you both back to the joy of being in the real world. he, in turn, organized days where you, peter, and morgan would play UNO card sessions while pepper and aunt may chatted.

with your mom, you began to tell her how you felt and everything that had been locked up within you was shared. because of that, you and pepper grew closer as a mother and daughter.

it was a genuine friendship that was formed by the most devastating circumstances. the avengers, you and your family, and peter were finally able to see the world in different colors.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker #avenger endgame #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #spider-man #spiderman homecoming #tony stark #avengers #avengers endgame spoilers #marvel imagines #marvel

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madrut16 · 5 years

Text

Day 10: Love Always Wins

A/N: I’ve had this one in the works for a while, it was the fic that I first started when I wanted to expand on MC’s Bloodkeeper powers and it’s where a lot of the ideas blossomed. I debated on whether or not to do a part 1 to this and have this be a little later in the month but, I think that it works best on its own and it fits really well with this prompt so, I’m posting it now! It will also give me more time to start a possible new ACOR AU series (only possible because I like to bite off more than I can chew and promise things I end up not doing) that has been floating in my brain for some time now.

I also want to start writing for a side Bloodbound pairing I have (Kamilah and Lily *cough cough*) so let me know if you’d be into that or if I’m the only one who thinks they have really good potential chemistry.

Bottom line, hopefully, you enjoy this idealized, not canon version of how Isabel defeats Gaius and turns the damsel in distress narrative on its head.

Book/pairing: Bloodbound (Adrian x MC)

Rating: PG-13 (some violence)

Summary: After Gaius has taken Adrian prisoner, both physically and mentally, and injured their friends, it’s up to Isabel to rescue Adrian and end things once and for all.

@kinda-iconic @choicesjulychallenge @endlesshero1122 @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @choicesfannatalie @krishu213 @choices97 @riseandshinelittleblossom @brightpinkpeppercorn @ladykateofhousebeaumont @tabithacarlisle @ella-raines

"Adrian!" Isabel's scream was earth-shattering, making the decaying temple walls vibrate.

The man in question didn't respond to her pleas, or even those of Kamilah seriously injured on the floor behind them. And yet, his beautiful features continued to twist in anguish as he fought with every ounce of strength to restrain himself, the ultimate struggle between good and evil.

This was the last thing he wanted in the entire world.

But the force that compelled him was too strong, his mind held hostage as he slowly inched towards her. The sharp dagger he held glinted in the dimly lit room. Behind him, the man pulling the strings grinned, clearly amused by the struggle.

"There's no use in trying Isabel," Gaius proclaimed. "You can't fight who you truly are inside. I knew all along he would come back to me, embrace his dark side. Throw away his weakness for the frail mortals like you, our unequals. This is who Adrian is, bloodthirsty, cold-hearted. A killer at heart."

She shut her eyes tightly, knowing deep down that his words are all lies. She had memories to prove it and after the endless amounts of training, she could now easily call up the ones she wants.

"Ab uno disce omnes," she whispered, her voice so quiet that no one else could make out what she was saying.

All at once, the memories came to her at once. First, she saw Adrian Turning Lily, even though it put him in incredible danger and she noticed something she didn’t catch in the moment: the self-sacrificing desire in his eyes. It wasn't just for her despite what he told her afterward, he had wanted to save Lily on his own ever since he had rushed inside the apartment. All Isabel had done was give him the permission he needed to disregard the rules in his way.

This faded into the next scene and she once again saw the confederate soldiers who he didn't want to kill, despite all that they stood for. The fact that they were human was enough for him. Finally, she recalled the first memory she had seen, back at the cabin 238 years ago. How he was so ready to suffer, to join his family in painful death than take another life.

All of this confirmed what she already knew in her heart, the belief impossibly rooted now. Her eyes snapped back open and she gave the monster a heated glare. She shook her head, uttering the word she said to fully enter this mysterious and complicated world.

“No.”

Gaius's scoff was deafening, his intimidating gaze drilling into her. "You humans are so naïve. I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you then,” he threatened.

"You’ll prove nothing," she retorted, raising her chin high in defiance. “I know the truth.”

Isabel turned her attention away from him, back to his former soldier, and her gaze immediately softened to one of anguish. Then, she made a quick decision. Her most impulsive one of all.

She ran toward him, much to the horror of her friends scattered like ragdolls behind her.

"Isabel? What are you doing?" Jax demanded, before hissing in pain as the deep gash on his side continued to slowly heal.

She ignored them, stopping just shy of the dagger’s blade pointed directly at her. All of her attention, her energy was on Adrian. She wanted to touch him, to hold him tightly, but even in her emotional state, a shred of rationality remained. She knew that she couldn't just yet. She could only reach out with her words. Luckily, the art of rhetoric had been a strength of hers for a while now, especially when she became passionate about whatever cause she decided to fight for.

"Adrian, listen to me,” she begged. “You can fight this! I know this isn’t you, that you don't want to hurt me!"

With a chuckle, Gaius held his hand out, causing Adrian to stiffen despite his best efforts and a look of calculating coldness to appear. "Are you so sure of that...poppet?"

Just as he forced Adrian to lunge at her, she grabbed the blade, disregarding the shooting pain in her hand. This caused Gaius to lose his concentration just enough to get Adrian to hesitate, once again frozen like a living statue.

"No! How did you—?” the Second son growled in astonishment.

The heightened powers had gone to his head a while ago, the narcissism more extreme than ever.

On the ground, Kamilah responded, her voice strained by her body’s intense effort to repair itself. "You underestimated her."

Isabel smiled briefly, grateful for the confidence of the person who once had a much different view of her. She only hoped that she was as capable as the senior vampire believed.

"You're wrong about him Gaius." Her stare burned into the vampire king's, unwavering. "Yes, he's made mistakes in the past, caused pain and bloodshed. I've seen that with my own eyes. But I also know that he did it because you taught him to. That you manipulated him, made him think that he didn't have another option. But, guess what? When he had the freedom to decide what he wanted, we all know what he chose!"

She paused to catch her breath, and she looked at Adrian who was still eyeing her, possessed with evil. But, there was one difference. He was listening to her. And so, she pressed on knowing that eventually, she would breakthrough.

"He chose to create a different, better option,” she continued, her words laced with raw emotion. “To use his power to help people, not harm them. He was brave enough to change the status quo when he knew it was wrong. And ever since he's been using his mistakes and regret to create a better world. Because unlike you, he’s refused to use his pain as an excuse to hate innocent people. That’s why he’s a good person!"

His expression remained unchanged and her heart started to break, as she knew that she would soon run out of time.

"Isabel," Kamilah pleaded, her tone wavering in sorrow for her adopted brother. "It's okay, you've done all you can. Get away while you're still able to!"

She shook her head, her stubborn determination at its height. "I can’t! He needs me. I'd rather die than give up fighting."

She had done this before, let her heart fly too close to the sun like Icarus. The last time, it almost killed her, she was lucky to be caught mid freefall. But this time, this time would be different. She knew the look in someone's eyes who actually wanted to hurt her. It was in Derek's all those nights ago. And now it was all over Gaius's smoldering red stare.

But not in Adrian's.

Despite the hardened exterior, she saw in his brown irises the complete opposite. That's what made her cling on for dear life to the small shred of strength she had left.

"Isabel, look out!" she heard Lily cry and she noticed Gaius clenching his fist just in time.

As he compelled Adrian forward, she readied herself and used her natural power to once again grab onto the blade, holding it inches away from her. She knew how to use the fright she felt instead of letting it consume her. This time, she was gonna fight until her last breath. As she pushed back, she started to lose hope and desperation set in.

"Snap out of it, I'm begging you!" she cried, tears welling in her eyes. "Because I love you and I can't lose you to him! So please, just come back to me!"

Almost as soon as the words left her lips, he stopped in his tracks, allowing the dagger to clatter to the ground, much to Gaius's horror.

"Impossible," he exclaimed furiously as her palms dripped blood onto the stone floor.

"Do you really—?” Adrian questioned before the horrible pain of recognition came over him about what almost transpired. “Oh God, I could’ve…”

She stared at him in shock before she gasped in relief. "Adrian! Thank god!"

As she moved towards him, the reunion was cut painfully short as Gaius unleashed his fury and Adrian found himself on his knees, writhing in pain. "That is what traitors like you deserve!"

"No!" Isabel screamed as she watched him suffer helplessly.

Gaius turned his attention to The Bloodkeeper in front of him. At first, he had found her stubbornness amusing, but now it was nothing but a thorn in his side.

"Now Isabel, I was going to spare you after all your precious friends died. But now...now I think I'll have to do away with you first...and let them watch."

"No...not Isabel!" Adrian let out a strangled plea.

"Hush you pathetic weakling!"

Gaius gave him another sharp flick of his wrist, turning his progeny’s blood into a living furnace and sending him to the hard floor. He did this all while keeping his menacing stare on his main target. "Now, try to stop me, mortal," he told her, an overly confident look in his eyes.

Isabel should have been terrified. If four vampires, including Kamilah who was the best of the best, couldn't stand a chance against him, how could she? But, she wasn’t, because she was his one undoing. It was in her DNA, her genes, her long and convoluted family history. It would be up to her, just like it was up to her line since the very beginning.

A strange exhilaration coursed through her knowing that the moment she had been training for was here. Yes, there was fear in the mix as well, she wasn’t quite fully proficient, but she knew enough to be a sizeable opponent. She had already demonstrated that when assisting Kamilah in dispatching Priya to gain access to the temple. She looked back at Jax, who had helped her with everything. He gave her an encouraging nod and that was the last push she needed.

Isabel scrutinized her enemy, his hungry eyes the only testament to the restraint being held. He obviously wanted her to make the first move. But, she wasn’t inclined to give him what he wanted. Especially that.

Instead, she crossed her arms, not taking her eyes off of his for one second. "I don't think you really want to fight me."

"Why not? You're nothing sweetheart. I'll be able to kill you easily."

She couldn’t stop the smirk from appearing on her face. "Then why haven't you? Why are you hesitating? It could be your love of drawing things out. Making your victims suffer until you bleed them dry. Just like you did to Adrian and Kamilah, to their families. But, I don't think that's it this time. I think...I think you're scared. Because you know that you’re just as human as I am. Something you’ve come to resent.”

"Me, afraid of you? Why that is preposterous," he laughed tilting his devilishly handsome face at her.

But, her eyesight was impeccable, and she noticed the slight quivering of his lips. The slight shaking of his hand.

"Is it?" she quipped. "Then I guess...you won't mind if I recite a little Latin for you then."

Behind her, she heard Adrian's confused murmur. He was the only one who didn't know about her abilities. Kamilah and Lily found out first hand in the earlier fight with Priya. But he was still in here, being held captive.

Gaius's eyes widened in alarm.

"No...it cannot be…you...can't know the truth!"

"What’s the matter Gaius? If you're so powerful, why are you so terrified of a frail little Bloodkeeper? Maybe because I’ve found out what you’ve tried to keep hidden. The truth about us, what we were born to do. I think they call it…destiny? But, why should you care if you’re unstoppable? If that’s so, then come and prove it."

Her goading had its desired effect, and, in a flash, he stood and dove towards her. But, he wasn’t fast enough.

"Ab origine, ab antiquo, ab aeterno!” From the original, from the ancient, from the eternal.

She shouted the enchantment just in time.

Instantly she began to glow, golden lines forming on her skin, flickering, churning with untapped potential. The energy, it consumed her and the room around her.

With a smile, she reached out to the discarded dagger a few feet from her. Concentrating on it, it soon rose from the ground and flew into her now cut free palm.

Gaius paused momentarily, not believing his eyes. "No…NO!"

He soon became livid and with a roar, he resumed his charge, but Isabel was quick to meet it.

Instead of backing up, she ran towards him at lightning speed.

Leaping over him, she dodged his attack and landed safely on the ground several feet away from him only slightly winded.

She smiled triumphantly now radiating adrenaline and confidence. "You're going to have to do better than that.”

Everyone on the floor looked at her in pure astonishment.

Then, her weapon clashed with his as the two began to spar.

They met each other stroke for stroke and blow for blow to the amazement of their audience around them as Isabel remembered the techniques Jax had taught her. When to press and when to dodge. To use the strengths of her body and the weaknesses of his to her advantage.

Then, Gaius managed to knock the sword from her hands and tried to tackle her to the ground.

However, he only managed to get her on her knees before she recovered, using her increased strength to resist further.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold him back forever, but her fast mind promptly calculated her next move. There were two powers she hadn’t used outside training yet—the most important ones. She just needed to be able to give herself enough time to do it.

He started to gain traction and she heard the frantic exclamations of her friends behind her. She closed her eyes, letting them give her strength. She wouldn't let them down.

Gritting her teeth, she bared down resisting the mental pull Gaius was giving her, trying to cloud her head.

Finally, she was able to push him off of her enough to crawl out underneath.

As she got to her feet, she didn't wait for a response, positioning her hands at her sides. "Lux ex tenebris!"

Instantly, streaks of lightning started to erupt from her palms, causing a bright light to fill the darkened temple. She gaped at her hands, this being the first time it had worked at the first try.

Gaius charged at her and she shot a bolt at him, and he slowed, the hot electricity charring his body. "Aghhhhhh!"

As he kept attacking, she used a mix of combat techniques and electricity attacks to hold him back.

But, she knew he wouldn’t give up, that's not what someone like him did, who saw himself as invincible.

He switched from a physical fight to a mental one. "Is that seriously all you have?" he taunted, his voice strained from the zaps of electricity. "You're just like them. Too fragile, too emotional to kill me."

This infuriated Isabel more than ever. She shut her eyes tightly as another series of images ran through her. Only these memories were all hers. Every time she was called too emotional, too stubborn, not good enough. So much that at one time she believed them. But now, she knew exactly how wrong they were, how strong she was, with or without her abilities.

Opening her eyes, she put her hands together and the electricity grew to form a glowing ball of plasma. She would show him that having emotions, choosing to love was so much more powerful than hate.

Taking a step back, she wound up and hurled the ball at him as hard as she could, and it plowed into him in seconds and it sent him to the ground hard, the heated energy immobilizing him in a fit of painful seizures.

"No... you can't...stop me," he hissed.

As he tried to sit up she was there in seconds, pinning him to the stone. "Don't speak," she ordered, holding him down now that she was draining him of his strength.

He gave her a sickening grin, still trying to weasel his way into her mind. "You're not going to...back out, are you? Just like your...sensitive little...Adrian did? As much as I... tried to get him to see...his true potential...his glory I never...managed to get...the lowly, submissive human out of him. He—”"I said stop talking."

She snapped, cutting him off by pressing a charged hand against him.

"He's not the weak one, you are! And yes, usually I believe in mercy. In being the bigger person. But for those like you and your accolades—Jameson, Vega, Priya—who do nothing but manipulate, and hurt, and abuse...there's nothing I want more."

As she went into her suit pocket, Gaius geared up for one more attack.

He grabbed the side of her neck with his one free hand and squeezed tightly, and she gasped loosening her hold on him. This allowed him to flip on top of her once more.

But, even black spots started to tinge her vision and her lungs burned from lack of oxygen, she was prepared.

As the pain laced through her, she pulled out the gleaming wooden stake, it's bark illustrious and white. The streaks of energy in her hand immediately ran through it. Then, she noticed that his last-ditch effort had left his chest completely exposed.

Checkmate.

"You...forgot...one thing," she growled, wincing from his fingers pressed tightly against her throat.

"What's that?"

The stake’s glowed, illuminating her stoic expression.

"Not even Rheya was invincible."

Isabel's voice was commanding as she used both hands to shove the weapon deep into his heart causing a ripple of black and red smoke to cascade and a crack of thunder to sound/.

The force caused a massive bolt of electricity to run through him. She watched as his eyes briefly widened and he howled in pain. He sizzled then crumbled into smoking ash on top of her, covering her in the greyish white substance.

Isabel remained frozen for a moment, her body shaking from the weight of what she had just done. Then, reality started to sink in. "He...he's gone," she stammered in disbelief. "It’s really over."

Swallowing, she looked down at the still crackling oak in her hand and she set it down remembering that she had to turn off her dormant powers.

"Ab origine, ab antiquo, ab aeterno."

This time, the light dissipated, and the energy retracted from her hands, leaving behind red burn marks. They would heal eventually, she needed the other set of words without the chant on. The temple darkened once more, the only light coming from the moon's peeking through. She stood and turned to face everyone behind her who were all in various states of shock and awe.

Her gaze immediately found Adrian’s and she blinked back tears as the thought of almost losing him overwhelmed her. She rushed to his side in seconds and as soon as he worked himself into a sitting position, she was in his arms.

“Isabel.” His labored breathing was a musical sound to her ears.

She pressed him to her tightly. “Thank god you’re okay,” she exclaimed.

“He almost got to me,” he muttered and when she pulled back enough to see his face, it was full of guilt. “I almost hurt you. I’m so sorry. If I had actually done something…I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”

She shushed him with a kiss. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize, you had no choice. He was literally controlling you, Adrian. I knew that I would get through eventually, that you would come back. I just wasn’t sure if I’d have enough time.”

He reached up to brush a stray lock of hair that had fallen out of place and his hand lingered on the side of her chin and she saw a certain urgency on his face.

“What you said, say it again,” he demanded. “So, I know that you really meant it.”

She didn’t need to ask which words which he meant, she already knew.

Countless times she had planned elaborate scenarios for when she would actually say them, and they wouldn’t be just thoughts in her brain. For them to slip out in the heat of the moment was not one of them.

But, they had come out easier than she ever thought they would.

Peering into his eyes now, all of the fears that he wouldn’t feel the same and the challenges were too great dissipated. Because that same uncertainty was staring right back at her. And all of a sudden, she realized that this was perfect because of how natural it was.

Biting her lip, Isabel repeated her earlier declaration. “I love you, and that means all of you. Even the dark and broken parts. Everything.”

The look he gave her was of raw, unfiltered emotion. “Isabel…I love you too. I didn’t think that I could feel this way about someone again. But you walked in and ended up proving me wrong.”

And that’s when she knew that everything would be worth it, that somehow, they would defy the odds and find a way to be together for eternity, whether it was on her timeline or his.

She was brought out of their moment when he suddenly let out a groan and she remembered that he and their friends were still injured. Their natural healing would take some time from lack of energy and severity of the damage inflicted. But, with her help, it would be just like new. Isabel gasped and slowly untangled herself from him.

Her work as a Bloodkeeper wasn’t over yet work. “Sorry, there’s still one more thing I need to do. For everyone,” she said elusively.

As much as she wanted to help Adrian first, he wasn’t the person she needed to heal most. That was the person who Gaius made sure to hurt most of all. His former queen.

Following her gaze, Adrian gave her a tired smile. “Go. Whatever it is, I can wait for it.”

With a nod, she quickly ran to Kamilah’s side, who was trying to remain calm against the pain she clearly felt.

"Let me help with that," Isabel murmured crouching down beside the CEO. When she moved her hand over her abdomen, the vampire pulled away slightly before she could make contact, stiffening.

"Isabel, what are you—?”

With all of the abuse Gaius had given her, which was now coming back to the surface, the Bloodkeeper wasn’t slighted or panicked.

She responded with a gentle smile. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. It’s just another power of mine. Do you trust me?”

Kamilah hesitated, her shimmering brown eyes full of apprehension. Then, after a minute, she relaxed and nodded wearily. “I do.”

Isabel delicately grasped the bottom of the white dress shirt. “I need to lift this up, is that okay?” She received a confused nod.

She pushed the fabric up to reveal bare skin and the deep wounds struggling to close themselves up. Getting her hand ready, she continued to talk through the procedure to give Kamilah time to adjust to each step.

“I’m going to have to touch it with my hand in order for this to work, I’ll be as gentle as possible.”

The other woman simply looked at her curiously as she slowly lowered her two hands onto the gash, she felt her breathe in sharply on instinct before easing once more.

Isabel closed her eyes, willing herself to remember what her grandmother had taught her a few weeks earlier.

She pressed down softly putting some weight into her palms and recited the phrase needed. “Sana lucem vitae.”

Instantly she felt a tingling warmth spread down from her chest all the way to her fingertips. That’s when she knew that she had said it right. She counted the necessary fifteen seconds she needed to maintain contact before she opened her eyes.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she saw the soft pale-yellow glow radiating underneath her hands. She slowly lifted them away to reveal the now perfectly smooth skin where the lacerations should have been. The light retreated almost immediately, and her hands had healed from the electricity as well.

“My heaven’s…,” Kamilah whispered in awe. Slowly she sat up and groaned, the soreness from the connection of muscles and skin still being felt. “That was…thank you.”

Isabel smiled at her sincerely. “You’re welcome. You deserve kindness and love too you know.”

Jax was the next of the vampires she went to. "You...you did good kid," he stammered, still incredibly weakened.

"Yeah, you did!" Lily exclaimed, before wincing hard. "Sorry, it just really freaking hurts."

Isabel shook her head. “I know, but hold tight. It won’t in a minute.”

She made fast work of mending both of them.

“You know, I really love having you as my best friend, especially now that you can shoot lightning bolts,” Lily told her after she was finished with her.

“Me too Lil. I’ve never said this to you out loud but, you saved me you know.”

The gamer furrowed her brows at her. “How?”

A tiny pang of sadness pooled in Isabel realizing just how unappreciated her friend must have been by others. “After I left Derek, Alyssa was my only friend who I’d hadn’t pushed away, and then she moved to Massachusetts and I was here alone. And you welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked. I needed that more than you’ll ever know.”

“Isabel! Now you’re making me cry. You know how much I hate that.” Lily crushed her into a tight hug. “Now go, save your prince charming over there.”

The assistant smiled and made her way back to Adrian. When she said the enchantment this time, she kept her eyes open so that she could watch the process unfold completely.

“I’m guessing that this is what you and Ginny were up to while in Paris?” he asked her.

Sheepishly she nodded. “Yeah and then Jax helped me with the training once we left. I’m sorry I kept it from you, but Ginny insisted, said you were too overprotective to let me go through with it. I was going to tell you soon but then you got kidnapped so, that wasn’t exactly possible.”

“Eh, she’s probably right. I’m not mad about it though, you did what you needed to do.”

Good as new, he slowly worked himself up from the concrete as the others did the same.

“You owe me and Jax after all the loose ends are dealt with,” she quipped as the five of them walked out into the dark New York streets, still as lively as ever.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? And why is that?”

Jax let out a scoff and Isabel gave him an incredulous look. “The bet remember? After we visited the Louvre. We were right, love always wins.”

The memory flooded back to him now. “That’s right. With everything that’s happened since I forgot all about it. What do I have to do to repay?”

Isabel locked eyes with Jax and they both shrugged as a euphoric feeling coursed through her veins, making her light as air. Peace, at least for now was accomplished and that was a satisfying thought.

With a smile, she replied in a sing-song voice. “I don’t know yet, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

#playchoices #choices stories you play #choices july challenge #bloodbound #bloodbound 2 #adrian x mc #adrian x isabel #adrian raines #kamilah sayeed #jax matsuo #lily spencer #gaius augustine #trigger warning: violence

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thewrongjackpot · 4 years

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I hit the wrong jackpot. *Spoiler alert, it’s cancer.*

[Originally written 1/3/20]

Warning: There may be a fair amount of sarcasm throughout this post coupled with some dark humor. Also, if you’re new to this channel, please disregard a lot of the other ramblings here, unless one dares to be bored.

“What jackpot did you hit?” you may ask. I hit the cancer jackpot. You read that right. C-A-N-C-E-R. This fun-loving 26-year-old has been diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma and of a newer subtype called Sclerosing. Take those words in. I had to have Google repeatedly tell me how to say it before I got the hang of it. It’s a jackpot because to say it is uncommon in adults is an understatement. A friend told me I need to get my butt to Vegas with all this rare luck.

“Wait, what? How did this all happen?” asked no one. Here’s a fun “little” deep-dive into everything that’s been going on the past few months, and how I’ve been dealing with it. Remember, you chose to continue reading this long post from here on out.

Well, let’s take it back to early-mid August. It started with what I thought was just TMJ issues because I was stressing some and clenching my teeth, so my jaw and temple started off sore. It then progressed to limited range of motion with my jaw (opening/closing), a small protrusion along my temple, and some numbness on my face. The urgent care doc essentially told me it’s TMD, the muscle is swollen, to chill, and it’ll go away. Well, that was extremely off. I saw my primary doctor, who then referred me to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor. Now, we’re at the end of November, and I had to take some MRIs and then was referred to another ENT doctor. I had a biopsy, and the doctor said it looks more mild-moderate than severe like he was initially thinking, but he was pretty sure it was malignant with how quickly it has been growing. Christmas Eve morning, I get a phone call. The final pathology came about, and it’s an intermediate grade Rhabdomyosarcoma. I was referred to a hospital with a Sarcoma specialist and saw her just after the new year began. She doesn’t know staging yet because she doesn’t know if it has spread anywhere else yet. I only had MRIs done and that was over a month ago now. So next week I get the joyous pleasure of more MRIs, a bone scan, a lumbar puncture, and a bone marrow biopsy. EXCITING. They’re also going to need to start chemo soon, so they’re working on getting that set up in the background. As of right now, the oncologist was saying it’ll be about 5 months of chemo, radiation and/or surgery, and then more chemo. More will be known in the coming weeks, but at least there’s finally a real start and direction to this all.

Needless to say, it’s been a crappy holiday season and last several months. Here’s a list of what this jolly (not green) giant growth in my head/neck has caused:

Swollen temple/face

Limited ability to open my mouth (~1.5cm)

Misaligned jaw

Numbness along half my face

Sharp shooting pains throughout my head/neck

Impacted breathing out of my left nostril

Fluid in my left ear (impacted hearing)

Trouble swallowing

Fatigue

Body aches

Pressure throughout the entire left side of my head

Large growth(s) inside my mouth encompassing cheek/mouth real estate

Accidentally chewing on said growths, which I think is the reason there’s blood in my mouth periodically

After my first meeting with the oncologist the other day, some topics hit home harder than others.

One of the points that almost made me cry on the spot was when I was asking about fertility. She was saying that she could recommend me to a fertility clinic to harvest my eggs. However, that could take 2-4 weeks, and we might not have that time to spare. I know that there’s so much more at stake, my health and well-being taking spot numero uno. I also know that there are other ways to still have kids, but it’s still such a depressing feeling and thought. Along with hearing that 2-4 weeks is not time that can be spared, it begs the question, “How bad/serious is this really?”. Having my own child is a choice that may never even be mine to begin with. I just always had this picture in mind about how life would be never thinking this is the luck I would be dealt. Then again, I don’t think anyone ever envisions something like this happening to them… Although, my vision of six dogs at any given time could become more of a reality. *shrug* (Honorable mention goes out to my brother who was cheering me up big time on this one.)

Next, the fear started to really set in when talking about all these tests that needed to be done. I’m absolutely terrified of pain, and the thought of all these huge needles makes me want to cry, throw up, and pass out. It’s not just the pain and needles I’m afraid of, it’s everything that comes along with the actualization of what this really is. Since we don’t know the full extent of this, my mind can’t help but think the prognosis is possibly more grim with all these tests needed and how quickly this tumor has dominated my face. I’m scared about having to go to treatments, having to feel sick, fatigue setting in, and withering away. I’m scared about losing my hair because, boy, let me tell you, I’ve always had long thick hair my whole life. There are only two occasions I can think of where my hair was shorter than mid-back. I’ve broken down crying several times in the shower while washing my hair; it was always a safety blanket for me. Although, I said I should jump the gun and get a bowl cut already haha. On a more serious note, I’m absolutely mortified that I’m not going to make it through this…but being a fighter and a survivor is in my blood, so I’m trying to not let that run my mind too much.

On a more physical and literal level, one of the most debilitating aspects of this is the limited range of motion with my mouth because I can barely eat. Eating has become almost a punishment because after a few bites of something, it hurts everywhere. It’s hard to swallow at times; it’s just all-around depressing. At this point, I’m closing in on having lost 30 pounds in about three months. I’m eating maybe 1000 calories a day. I try to force myself to eat, but it’s difficult. Some days everything makes me nauseous. I’ve mostly been drinking smoothies, eating soup, and other soft foods like mashed potatoes. Even when I am eating something, it’s extremely defeating when I wipe soup off my chin because the little piece of potato couldn’t fit in my dumb mouth and caused soup to drip down, and I couldn’t feel it because my face is too busy being numb. Moments like that are extremely disheartening. Stupid mouth.

Also, another difficult aspect of this is sleeping. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in months. No matter which way I lie, there is either uncomfortable pressure or some sort of pain. I’ve literally woke up crying like a fussy baby because it hurts so much, and all I want to do is sleep.

DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I’m down, but I’m not out. I still have so many things to be grateful for. My husband continues to be amazingly strong, knows how to comfort me when I need it, and has been picking up my slack. Some of my family members have seriously stepped up in ways I could not have imagined that genuinely caught me by surprise. For those family members who have been with me on this so far, they have been so supportive and simply there for me when I need them. My parents are doing whatever they can from wherever they are to help me, e.g. my mom is flying up next week to be with me. I have some solid friends, and even my husband’s friends have been amazing. Work is working well with me through this, and even my old boss and coworkers have been checking up on me. Side note: I saw this lady at work today (whom I rarely interact with) only to find out her brother got treated where I am by the same set of doctors, and she said his experience was great as was the staff. That was an unexpected nugget of good vibes I did not expect today or ever.

One of the other biggest items I realized a few days ago that I am extremely grateful for is having moved away from Hawaii. Since moving, I go back and forth on whether leaving was the best decision, but now who knows what would be of me if I didn’t. If developing this cancer was an inevitable piece of my life story, being in Hawaii would have been one of the worst things for me. For one, there are doctor shortages, so being seen would have been dragged out so much longer than here. Secondly, Hawaii does not have the specialists to even treat me. I would have had to fly somewhere else anyway. As an aside to this, I’m even more grateful that we moved to the west coast because family is more accessible than in DC, and my husband and I have friends here as well.

Well, that’s about it for now. I like to talk/write, so I’m honestly going to post updates on here even if they fall on deaf ears. Just like this page says, I’m someone rambling lol.

If you’ve made it this far, I’ll give you a cake pop one day or something.

TL;DR

I have a rare form of cancer that’s been progressing pretty quickly. A lot of it really sucks right now, but there’s finally some real direction in getting me treated. Also, I am surrounded by a lot of love and dope people, and I still have so much to be grateful for.

#cancer #chemo #sarcoma #rhabdomyosarcoma #tumor #jackpot #rambling #long post #coping #cancer sucks #dying

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iguana012 · 7 years

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Japanese Nats: The Aftermath

This recap is almost 3 weeks late but fwiw I judged the event on The Judges’ Table. If you’re interested in my (serious) opinions about the competition, you can read them there. If you’re interested in my less censored opinions, I will include as much as I can in this post.

So what happened is that Japan crowned their tiniest champions ever, Satoko Miyahara (her 3rd title) and Shoma Uno (his 1st title). But some people were less interested in that and more interested in receiving updates on Yuzuru Hanyu’s recovery after he decided to withdraw from the competition in order to prioritize his health, thus generating earthquakes among his sensitive fans. Other people (those who attended the competition) went just to see Mao Asada but they were polite enough not to get up and empty the arena while Mao wasn’t skating unlike what happened at the Sochi Olympics when Evgeni Plushenko withdrew from the men’s event.

Now I’m not pretending to be some advocate of justice and I’m not intending to preach. But I believe this is a good opportunity to highlight frequent problems in the skating fandom so you won’t be tempted to fall into their traps.

DISCLAIMER: I do realize I’m already in a very high risk of getting attacked by some Yuzu fans via anon asks or salty replies/reblogs but I’m gonna say this again: it’s okay if you’re not into my kind of “”””humor”””. You can ignore me and I promise I won’t get a boo-boo. GETTING TO THE SUBJECT NOW!

THE LADIES EVENT aka Game Of Thrones

Satoko Miyahara waltzed into this event giving negative fucks and the results showed: when she gives negative fucks, that 3Lz-3T combo in the second half of her SP is miraculously rotated. As a consequence she got 76 for her program and further established her new position as one of the most overscored skaters currently competing (don’t believe me? Ask the Russian ubers and Mao ubers). I also thought “damn, this empty program actually looks nice when neither she nor I have to worry about rotations”. But the key here is to make the program look like that when you give a lot of fucks as opposed to negative fucks, and Mie Hamada knew that. So the next day before Satoko skated her FS, Hamada annoyed the crap out of her and pressured her as a strategy to make her get used to skating clean when she gives a lot of fucks, such as when she’s thinking she’s gotta get a medal in a relevant event, including the Olympics. For now, Satoko is still failing that test because she had a step-out on the 3Lz-3T combo and a couple of carrots.

Wakaba Higuchi finally - I repeat - FINALLY skated a clean short program and it was so adorable to see her get all excited and happy about it. Except it wasn’t a squeaky-clean program because she got a wrong edge call on her flip. What can ya do, if ya got a good lutz ya gotta lip and when ya got a good flip ya gotta flutz. She’s gonna have to follow Satoko’s example and replace that lip with a loop and be done with it. Other than that, damn this girl got huge jumps. Everyone loves some huge jumps. However, the disadvantage of huge jumps is that you gotta have very good control of the landing and you have to know how to manage your speed, when to speed up, when to slow down, otherwise you’re doomed to pull a Midori Ito and land your jumps over the cameraman outside the boards. (Have you imagined Evgenia Medvedeva landing one of her 3-3-3 combos on Tarasova’s table cause I did and I cracked myself up really).

Another skater who is fast as crap and has great technique on top of that is Mai Mihara who won the bronze medal and got herself a ticket to Worlds. Just a year ago around this time she was watching Nationals on TV from a hospital bed having been diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Doesn’t that make a great Cinderella story? She is, actually, skating to Cinderella but her style is still stuck somewhere on the road between junior and senior (she was pretty good as a junior but I didn’t like her skating then and I’m not necessarily warming up now) but she seems like a very sweet girl and if there’s anyone who deserved going to Worlds aside from Satoko and Wakaba, it’s this young lady.

Marin Honda is another skater who finally - I repeat - FINALLY skated a clean short program after burying herself in competitions right from the start. The poor girl has been under so much constant pressure this season I feel like she’s always on the verge of having an emotional breakdown. It’s not only the fact that she’s cried a number of times after her performances, but this season she always looked like she was terrified of her results no matter how she skated. I’m not a fan of either of her programs this season (SP is similar to last season’s and the FS is a hot mess combo of Yuzuru’s Romeo & Juliet 1 and 2) but she has excellent skating skills, musicality, expression, projection to the audience for her age. She doesn’t have the best jump technique but she is one of the few lucky ones with a clean lutz AND flip. After a smooth short program, a popped jump in the free prevented her from stepping onto the podium but that’s how it is in competition; it’s not about what you’re able to do, it’s about what you end up doing when it counts.

Rika Hongo has been in serious trouble ever since the beginning of this season - or maybe as far as the previous Nationals - and the worst case scenario happened. She finished 5th and now the juniors ahead of her are old enough to go to Worlds in her place. While she was 2nd in the SP with the best performance of the season, she went down to 6th in the FS and finished 5th overall despite bringing back Riverdance, a program that worked for her last year. Unfortunately the spark, the freedom and the joy that was present last season was absent in this competition as she was very nervous even before she took the ice.

Yuna Shiraiwa on the other hand... I’m only going to say this. Clean 3Lz-3T and (second half) 3F-3T combos in the FS. No UR calls. Highest TES (71.74) of the evening. She’s the real MVP in Hamada’s team.

THE OLD(ER) GENERATION

This was Mao Asada’s worst result at Nationals but instead of having retirement thoughts (like she had last season at Nationals even though she skated better), she’s still determined to come back stronger next season. An old knee injury prevented her from landing the 3A and rotating a lot of her jumps but at this point she’s obviously not skating for the medals as much as she’s skating for herself. No skater wants to leave the competitive world with regrets so who are we to judge Mao’s decision to continue in spite of physical difficulties? With Yuzuru absent due to influenza, most fans attended the competition to see Mao and it was obvious just counting the number of flowers that were thrown on the ice for her compared to the other skaters.

Redemption from Kanako Murakami, who is also nearing the end of her career but managed to deliver the first clean FS she’s skated in ages. That’s all she wanted from this competition, she got it, and she awarded the audience with her signature Kanako Smile.

Painful competition for Haruka Imai, former Japanese Jr National Champion and 4th at the 2014 4CC. No GP assignments this season, she was plagued by inflammation of her hips and knees but she fought to land the 3Lz and 3F. This was also the first time we got to see one of her new programs (the FS, which is Primavera by Einaudi) and she’s still beautiful to watch.

SHOMA UNO & CO.

It was kind of depressing to watch the men’s event this year because only a couple of years ago it was the fiercest event at Nationals. Keiji Tanaka seized his chance to grab onto the silver medal while Takahito Mura’s bronze was (once again) useless - as harsh as it sounds. Shoma wasn’t at his best here but he showed that he learned a new lesson (tag a 3T to a different jump if you screw up one of your planned combos!!) and he came out of this alive and well. The added pressure of having to “live up to expectations” in the absence of Olympic King Zuzu was another thing he suddenly had to put up with (good job Fuji). But there’s an old saying; “better here than at Worlds”.

CONTROVERSIES

While Satoko and Shoma are the tiniest champions Japan has ever had, they’re also the most criticized. They both have to skate under the shadows of two skating giants, Mao and Yuzuru, who have hoards of fans. Among those hoards of fans there are ubers, people who have made a habit out of bashing their favorite skaters’ successors. In Japan there already are Mao ubers whose jobs are to tear Satoko apart and the disease has long spread worldwide. You can see it on forums, you can see it on comment sections of YouTube videos, you can even hear it on television (looking at you Simon Reed). People who write passive-aggressive, sarcastic remarks, calling Satoko names and whatnot. Shoma gets similar (though mellower) treatment from overseas fans, but not from Japanese fans, possibly due to the fact that he’s a Daisuke Takahashi fan so most of Dai’s fans are now supporting him.

These two young skaters (and not only) deserve all the support in the world. It’s not easy to become Japan’s supporting pillar and leading lady after the great Mao Asada, but Satoko is doing an incredible job. Appreciate more, bash less. Don’t let the judges cloud your judgement. There’s also a massive amount of PR in figure skating; Mao has so many sponsors you can see her in commercials, you can see fluff videos about her because that’s what the general audience wants. She’s been advertised as a child prodigy (which she was) and people consider her part of their family. Satoko doesn’t benefit from that kind of treatment so people tend to be cold and judgmental towards her because she’s nothing compared to Mao-chan (oh dear those jumps, oh dear the way she bends her knee, oh dear her face).

Recently Marin Honda has been getting the “heir of Mao” treatment, getting sponsorship from JAL, shooting CMs for Ghana and stuff. I feel like I have to point out the fact that all of her siblings, including herself, are managed by a hugely influential management company. If you’re into Japanese entertainment, you might have heard of it. It’s called Oscar Promotion and it’s a talent agency whose famous names include actresses Emi Takei, Aya Ueto and Ayame Gouriki. She’s been promoted and modeled by a talent agency since she was a young child so she’s an expert at working with the camera, the audience and the reporters. As a result she’s also been gathering - well, pretty scary fans who are downright infatuated with her and will start arguments if you dare criticize her. Similar to idol group fans, I’d say.

But this is figure skating and crack commentaries aside we’re talking about real, young people with feelings who are training every day from dawn till dusk, who get injured, who sacrifice their childhood and adolescence. We’re also talking about real fans behind the computer screen who like who they like and no one person is entitled to criticize or ridicule the things that make them happy. At the same time, no one is entitled to attack fans who criticize your favorite skater(s) as long as they bring valid arguments and they’re polite about it. And no one is entitled to attack another fan whose way of seeing or perceiving things is either more or less intense than yours. Be nice to each other. #PEACE

#Yuzuru Hanyu #Mao Asada #Satoko Miyahara #Shoma Uno #figure skating

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astro-ben-blog1 · 5 years

Text

Angel of Death part 1

Summary: You were sick and tired of your life and ready to die when an angel of death visits you. He decides not to grant your wish but turns out something bigger is in store.

Warning: Depression (not much), cursing, MAJOR FLUFF, angst

The rain pelted outside my window furiously, just like my tears. They wouldn’t stop and they hadn’t for a while. It seemed like every night I was in this state. I was drowning and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“God, why don’t you kill me?” I sobbed into the pillow next to me. It seemed like I had been asking that for a while. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Everything was going wrong and I just couldn’t be positive. Thunder rumbled outside and I just huffed. I laid on my back and sat there for what seemed like hours, staring into nothing. My eyes started getting heavier when a flash of lightning lit up my room and I saw a man. He had beautiful white wings and curly blonde hair.

“Thank God,” I mumbled and he looked at you in surprise.

“Finally it took you long enough. I’ve been asking to die since 2008.” I joked lightly. I’m sure I looked a mess, it was obvious that I was crying. He walked over to you, slowly and I huffed.

“Can you hurry up, I’m not getting any younger.” I scowled and he just looked at you amused. He had never met someone with this much spunk, and this much passion to die.

“I’m not going to kill you.” He spoke, his voice surprisingly deep despite his angelic features.

“Seriously? I mean it’s literally your job. You aren’t doing me any favors.” I sighed exasperatedly. You beg for this moment like every day and you get an angel of death that doesn’t want to deliver...death.

“I’m not going to kill you.” He said again and I rolled my eyes.

“Well based on every movie I’ve ever seen that isn’t your call. It’s the big man upstairs. And I’m ninety percent sure that that would be like a big violation or something.” I said.

He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but I’m not killing you.” He shrugs it’s off and I stare at him bewildered.

“So you’re telling me. You would purposely go against GOD the big guy CREATOR OF ALL THINGS just to spare ONE, UNO humans life. When she doesn’t even want to live?” I say and he nods-completely unbothered about it.

“I’m sorry buddy I guess you just don’t get it. You can’t just decide not to kill people it’s not up to you, you don’t make the rules. Now get on with it. Go ahead. Do the angel of death thing. Be scary or something.” I say annoyedly. He lays on my nearby sofa and closes his eyes.

“Nope.”

“Literally if you don’t I will you coward,” I say standing up.

He just smirks.

“Okay go ahead.” He said and I frowned.

“Okay! I’m gonna do it!” I said holding some pills in my hand.

“Okay.” He says, knowing I wouldn’t.

“OOOKAY I’m doing it!” I say and he just hums in response. I drop it and growl in annoyance.

“If you were going to do it, you would have done it by now.” He said and I just huffed.

“Literally why me? I mean you probably kill thousands of people per day and you just decided ‘hey let’s screw with her?’” I demand standing over him. He peaks open an eye. In a flash he stood, towering over me, wings stretched out. Okay, tender spot apparently.

“I’m not killing you because you don’t deserve to die. I’m not killing you because I don’t think it’s fair. Just because you ask for it and life’s hard doesn’t mean you should die. You should live your life. It’s not fair you get to check out early.” He growled and I just stared-shocked mostly that he switched that fast.

“Soft spot?” I question and he huffs.

“Sorry. Yeah kinda.” He sits and then I sit on my crappy couch. He isn’t that scary, he’s actually kinda beautiful. His curly hair makes him look younger and his baby face makes him look exactly like an angel. He had green eyes and high cheekbones. He was really gorgeous.

“So if you aren’t going to kill me what are you going to do?” I question, breaking the silence.

“Well I’m guessing once they realize you aren’t dead they will send someone else, so I’ll just watch after you.” He said gently and I groan.

“I ask to die like a COUPLE of times and not only do I NOT die but I also have to deal with a literal angel following me everywhere. Wonderful.” I exclaim flatly. He just chuckled at my expression, you know, he’s super annoying to be beautiful.

“So can I crash here or..?” He said gingerly and I scoff.

“NO,” I demand but he doesn’t leave, he actually gets up and moves to my bed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I protest and he just mumbles.

I grab his limp arm and try pulling him off the bed. He didn’t even move an inch. He was super heavy. I pulled and grunted but I couldn’t get him off.

“GET-OFF,” I grunt pulling at him but he doesn’t. Then an idea struck you. I grabbed one of his wings at the base where the wing met his shoulder, hoping for pain. Then he let out a quiet moan and I withdrew my hand quickly.

“Hmm Do that again.” He groaned and I cleared my throat awkwardly.

“I guess I’ll be on the couch then, but tomorrow you’re out,” I say then lay on the couch.

The next morning I awoke from the bright sun blaring in my eyes. I growled and flipped over, just to be poked in the back.

“What?” I seethed, knowing good and well who it was.

“So are you going to make breakfast or?” He said and I just grumbled.

“I don’t eat breakfast, starve, go somewhere else, I don’t care,” I said and he groaned.

“You’re the worst.”

“Bad enough to make you leave?” I said flipping over, hopeful. He grinned.

“Not a chance.” I rolled my eyes.

“So what’s your name anyway?” I ask, I mean you couldn’t keep calling him ‘him or that dumb angel’

“Warren.” He spoke attitude changing drastically once more. God this guy had a bunch of soft spots.

“Well Warren, how about if I pick up breakfast for you, you leave?” I ask hopeful, once more. He shook his head, his cheer coming back in a flash.

“Not a chance babe.” I crinkled my nose at the name and scowled.

“You know I can handle myself right? I don’t need some arrogant angel following me around 24/7” I Insist and he just smirks.

“You think you could handle yourself against a literal angel of death.” He laughs.

“Well, I can handle you pretty okay,” I say defensively.

“I’m nice the others aren’t as nice as me. They aren’t as handsome either.” He grins and I scoff.

“Whatever. What is it going to take to get you to leave?” I whine.

“Nothing at the moment, but I’ll keep you updated love.” He said and once again I rolled my eyes. I seemed to be doing that a lot since warren showed up.

“Whatever you can just starve,” I growl and then flop on the bed.

“I didn’t think angels needed to eat?” I question peeking up from the pillows.

“We don’t need to, but I like to.” Warren shrugged.

“You know I think if anyone was going to come for me they would have come last night so technically you can leave me alone now. Go away your work if done, actually it isn’t. You know you never actually did your job.” I seethe and he just chuckles sitting at the end of the bed.

“That’s not the case love. They are probably just figuring out I didn’t go through with killing you, so they will most likely send someone tonight or tomorrow or even later...we don’t know. So I’ll be staying with you.” He said cheerily.

“This is ridiculous! I think they wouldn’t try killing me in the shower you don't have to come in here with me!” I shout trying to push Warren out of the bathroom.

“You have no idea what you’re up against! They don’t care if your showering! They just want the job done.” Warren said pushing past me, sitting on the edge of the tub.

“I am not showering with you in here you creep,” I say frustratedly and he shakes his head.

“I’m not going to look, I’m just going to make sure you don’t die.” He rolls his eyes and I glare. There was no way I could talk him out of this and I knew it. With my clothes still on, I hopped in the shower and quickly stripped. I threw my clothes out and quickly bathed. It still felt odd, to have a guy in the bathroom. Not even 5 feet away, and I was naked.

“Can you hand me my towel?” I say and stick my hand out from the curtain. He handed me a towel and I quickly wrapped it around myself. When I stepped out he was still sitting in the same place. Well, at least he didn’t look.

“So...” I say awkwardly.

“So...?” He said now looking at me.

“Nobody killed me,” I said and grinned.

“Nobody’s killed you so far.” He said then stood up.

“You know you don’t have to follow me everywhere, as long as you’re in the house I’ll be okay.” I huff.

“Listen killing is literally these guys jobs. They are professionals. They could kill you in one move and you wouldn’t have time to make a sound.” He said and my eyes widened.

“Oh.”

I walked into my closet quickly changing my clothes. I didn’t need Warren following me in here too. When I walked out Warren was sitting on the bed, tapping his foot. He seemed nervous.

“Something bothering you?” I say suspiciously and he broke out of his trance.

“No..uhh just thinking.” He said standing up quickly.

“So um later I have to go out and run some errands, it’d be great if you could stay here?” I said hopeful and he frowned.

“Y/N you know I can’t do that,” Warren mumbles and stepped closer to me, causing me to step back.

“Cmon it’s one time! Trust me nothing will happen! It’s only five minutes down the road I’m pretty sure if something arises you could get there fast.” I protested and he thought for a moment.

“Some alone time would be nice, for both of us.” He murmured and I grinned.

“YES! Okay, here I’ll call the house phone if something happens I promise.” I say excitedly. He steps closer and grabs me by the shoulders.

“You call me if ANYTHING happens. You won’t know who they are until they come at you, then you won’t have time to call. You need to be alert if anyone stares at you too long if anyone’s following you. Tell me.” Warren said and I frantically nodded.

“I promise,” I said then quickly walked out the door. It already felt like a weight was lifted off my chest.

I walked up and down the aisles, nervously. As happy as I was when I left, the underlying possibility that I could die was weighing in on me now. I wanted to before Warren, but now something’s different. Nothing in my life has changed, other than the fact there’s an annoying angel following me around, but other than that it’s the same.

Then I saw it. There was a girl at the end of the aisles. She was staring intently and I knew. I turned around and dialed the home phone. It immediately picked up.

“Uhh, Warren there’s a girl watching me I don’t know if it’s something to worry about-“

“Okay I’m coming stay in public, and stay away from anything else suspicious.” He answered firmly and hung up. I took a deep breath and continued shopping. I headed down an aisle filled with people and that eased my mind more. The woman continued stalking me, but she stayed far away. Her eyes were sunken in, her skin pale, she looked frail. She looked like death. Next thing I know Warren is beside me, without his wings.

“Uhh, what did you do with the uhh?” I said eyeing his bareback.

“Humans can’t see them now, I didn’t think it’d be a good idea for all of Walmart to know what I am.” He mumbled in my ear and I nodded. His eyes were trained on the woman and his body was tense. She narrowed her eyes, she knew who he was. Great. He stepped in front of me, blocking me from her view. No one seemed to notice and eventually, everyone had filtered out of the aisle. She seemed to back down upon seeing Warren. Then a sharp pain radiated through my shoulder and I fell to the crowd, crying out. The woman was gone but now behind me was a man. He was smaller than Warren and paler. So far Warren didn’t look anything like the other angels. He was tan, tall, muscular, and he looked healthier. Warren turned around abruptly and stared at the thing in my shoulder. Warren grabbed the man and there was a flash of light. Everything was fuzzy and I couldn’t really make a coherent thought. I started fading out and started to black out.

“Y/N. Cmon stay with me. Y/N.” Warren said shaking me trying to keep me awake. It sounded like his voice was echoing and the edge of my vision was getting fuzzier. Finally, the darkness consumed me and everything was black.

I awoke lying in my bed, my shoulder throbbing. I looked up slowly and saw Warren pacing around the room. When he noticed I was awake he rushed to my side.

“How are you feeling?” He spoke softly.

“My shoulder hurts a bit.” I groaned and he nodded.

“I healed it the best I could, but the blade that you were stabbed with is...different.” He said sheepishly.

“It was an angel blade, made especially for well...killing,” Warren said, but something was off. I stared at him suspiciously.

“What’s going on with you? Do you know something?” I questioned and he shook his head.

“N-no.” He said not looking at me.

“Warren you’re not telling me something,” I said trying to sit up, wincing in response. He grabbed my shoulder to steady me.

“It’s nothing, you need to rest.” He mumbled and I shook my head.

“This involves me now too. Whatever it is tell me.” I insisted and he sighed.

“There’s more to all this than I previously told you. I’m not exactly who you think I am. I’m not just a regular angel of death. I’m an archangel. One of the first angels. I’m like the first angel of death. And you weren’t supposed to die, period. The angels were doing a revolt and wanted to kill....somebody. So a couple of the other archangels and I decided to stop them.” Warren said but I still got the feeling he was still holding back.

“What are you saying so you’re like a...top angel or something?” I said now feeling weird. I used to look at him like, normal, or at least as normal as angels get. But now he’s a big deal angel, one of the first angels.

“Yeah and that angel in the store was one of the death angels.” He said and I nodded, pausing.

“You’re not telling me something. Warren again, this involves me. You can trust me.” I said and he sat at the end of the bed.

“Y/N if I tell you this...I just don’t know if you can handle it. It’s going to change everything.” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“Listen you’re an archangel that is here to protect me if you haven’t scared me off so far, I don’t think you’re going to,” I say lightly.

“They aren’t just trying to kill some random person. They are trying to kill you. Specifically. It wasn’t random. It’s you it’s always been you.” Warren said and I just stared.

“Okay, but what does that mean? I’m not special.” I say

“You-you are..”

“Just say it!”

“You’re supposed to be with me. I’m not sure how it works but you’re supposed to be my weakness. The only thing that could bring me down, and since I kind of lead the other angels-they would fall apart. The death angels would win and heaven would fall.” He said gingerly and I stared-completely bewildered.

“So okay let me get this straight. I’m supposed to be your other half or whatever-hah a match made in heaven...Sorry I had to. And basically I’m your biggest weakness and if I die heaven falls.” I say and he just laughs.

“I mean that’s exactly what I just said so yeah.” I rolled your eyes yet again.

“So none of this had to do with the fact that I WANTED to die. So did you know who I was? Like when you stopped my death did you...I don’t know, feel anything?” I say..okay I wanted him to feel something. That would be totally romantic, and I had feelings for him too. He was cute and kinda annoying-but he was nice. Plus the total knight in shining armor thing was kinda hot.

“Yes, I knew who you were. I’ve always known, just I never thought I’d have to step in and ruin your life. I never wanted to meet you because a life with me would not be the life for you. You deserve better than a guy who kills people. I saw you a couple of years back and you saw me, but as much as I wanted to go up to you and tell you then and here who I was-and trust me I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t. You would always be in danger. So I stayed away, and it hurt. It physically hurt me to stay away. When I found out what their plan was, I knew that no matter what I wanted you were more important. I figured maybe I could lie to you, and after the whole thing blew over I could leave. Then when you got hurt, I knew I couldn’t.” Warren sighed and my heart literally fluttered. Wow that was straight off Wattpad.

“Where were you when I was literally begging to die? Every day my life got worse and worse and you just stood back and watched?” I asked and he frowned.

“You don’t think I wanted to? You don’t even know how many times I had to stop myself from showing up and just making it all better. It literally hurt me to know you were hurting. You don’t belong here and it was getting worse. You are meant to be with me, not on this lousy place. That’s why it’s getting harder. Life’s pushing you out. And trust me I tried, I argued with myself plenty of times. Saying ‘maybe it would be better for her here. I should just bring her here.’ I did that so many times. I wanted to badly-I still want to. Now I don’t have any other choice.” Warren said and I just listened. I mean it made sense.

“So if I die will you die, or will you just be weak?” I said and he sighed.

“If you die, which I won’t let happen, I die as well. Leaving the other archangels leaderless and leaving then more vulnerable.” He said and I just nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Aren’t you going to freak out?” He said cautiously.

“I mean not really. I’ve read enough books where this happened, honestly, it’s kinda lame. No offense, and don’t get me wrong it’s kinda stressful, but also cliche at the same time.” I shrugged and wince again. Right...shoulder.

“You are..incredible.” He laughed and I rolled your eyes.

“So I guess that means I can’t get rid of you now?” I said and he shook his head.

“Definitely not.”

“Does that mean we have to...you know?” I said making the sex hand thingy (idk like where there’s a hole and a-you get my point)

“No...not unless you want to.” He winked and my face turned red.

“I'll tell you one million percent what I absolutely do NOT want to do with a strong powerful very muscular tan beautiful archangel man..that probably has a big dick...and it’s that,” I say, okay I definitely wanted to, but not now. Warren just laughed, that deep angelic (cliche I know) laugh.

“So is that why you don’t look like the other angels?” I question and he nodded.

“Yes since I’m an archangel I look different. I don’t have the effects of death, every time a regular death angel takes a life they look more and more like...death. I will always look like this.” He said and I nodded. It made sense.

“How many people have you...”I trailed off and he looked down at me.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” He mumbled scooting closer. The tension in the room was heavy and I completely forgot about the constant throbbing of my shoulder. Warren leaned in slowly making sure not to hurt me and connected his lips to mine. His lips were soft, and surprisingly warm. He gently pressed his lips into mine, and held my jaw. God, I could do this forever. He pulled away and gazed into my eyes. His green eyes staring into my brown ones. Neither of us said anything just say gazing at each other, usually that would be weird to me. But this was nice, it wasn’t forced I genuinely liked gazing at his face.

“So what now?” I whispered.

“We have to go. If the angels found you that easily it’s only a matter of time they show up here.” Warren said and I nodded.

“So how will we-oh my god.” I said and we were where I assumed was heaven. It wasn’t white clouds or streets of gold...it was normal? Okay normal in the sense where there were angels everywhere and it was like a urban utopia. It wasn’t that bad. Except the part where everyone was staring at me. It seemed like all the billions of people were staring right at me, like they knew I didn’t belong.

“They know who you are.” Warren leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I grumbled and Warren pushed me through the crowd. A man with long brown hair walked past me wearing what I’m like ninety percent sure were Chocos.

“Oh my God-WAIT NO THATS BAD sorry Gosh. Oh my gosh is that Jesus?!” I whisper yelled at Warren and he looked at me like I’m crazy.

“No that’s not Jesus. That’s Paul.” He said nonchalantly and my eyes grew wide.

“Oh you know that’s just THE APOSTLE PAUL no big deal.” I mocked and we continued where we were going.

We came across this big building, it wasn’t exactly a house. More of an open...place. As you can tell I’m very good at describing things.

There were people standing all around a table, most likely working on tactic. They all stopped their discussion upon our arrival.

“Warren oh you’re back!” A red headed woman embraced Warren. Um bitch. I stood awkwardly next to the two and I hoped nobody noticed me. Just me in general...I felt out of place. Yeah when Warren said I belonged here, yeah apparently that’s not the case. Or these people weren’t very good at welcoming. Nobody seemed to notice my overwhelming jealousy, thank God. Especially not Warren or this red headed beautiful angel that was hugging up on MY MAN. Well he’s not my man but technically he is. So I did what any peace loving soul would do, went to the bathroom and cussed her out in my head. Yeah there’s bathrooms in heaven! It’s totally different. I stood in front of the unrealistically clean mirror, scowling. Who did she think she was? I’m sorry but this story isn’t about her, it’s about yours and Ben Hardy’s vast romance. She just ran up to him all bay watch style and hugged him. And he’s at fault here too, he obviously enjoyed it. You know God I know jealousy is a sin, but so is pretty much everything else. I’m pretty sure that angels aren’t supposed to hook up together. So get your red headed whore in check.

“I think I’m so perfect because I’m one of God’s first angels and I think just because I’m an angel I can steal men. And I think I’m so great and Warren is so hot maybe I’ll steal him away from other women.” I mocked and there was a knock on the door.

“Y/N you okay? I heard talking?” Warren knocked and I cleared my throat. Shit.

“Uhh yeah just needed to freshen up...that was my Uhh...phone.” I winced.

“You didn’t bring your phone.” He called from the other side and I facepalmed.

“What’s going on?” He said and I just groaned.

“Nothing I was just uhhh....praying?” I say hoping he will fall for it.

“Y/N I know that’s a lie.” Warren said.

“Okay I’m coming in there.”

“NO! I’m okay it’s fine.” I said and he barged in. Only to see me red faced and jealousy written all over my face. The first thing I do when I get to heaven is break two HUGE commandments, three of you count cursing. Shit.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and I shook my head smiling.

“Nothing I just needed some air.” I breathed. Thank God for those acting classes.

“It’s all just overwhelming, you know heaven,” I say looking around the pristine bathroom.

“Y/N just say it. You can tell me.” He persisted. Okay so maybe those acting classes didn’t help...

“It’s nothing. I promise.” I smiled and he just frowned. He got the hint to just leave it alone and left. I took one more good look in the mirror and left.

When I went back everyone was sitting around laughing and nobody even noticed I came up. Jesus these people suck, I thought angels were supposed to be nice. I need to find a way to get home. Okay, that’s a little dramatic I know but I really didn’t want to come here in the first place. I was just in a good mood and drunk off Warren. I don’t belong here, I’d rather be running for my life (and I don’t run) than be stuck with these jerks. No Warren wasn’t bad but he had bad taste in company. I guess he doesn’t get much of a choice. I stood there for a solid five minutes and still, nobody even looked up. I scoffed and trudged off to God knows where. Which in turn turned out to be in front of God...great? He was....normal? He wasn’t this big guy sitting on a throne, he was about 5’11 and had black hair...with some grey. He was sitting on a nearby bench, just watching over everything. I stood and stared and he turned his head and smiled. Then he motioned me over and I turned around to look behind me. He laughed at me but I sat next to him.

“So what’s the dealio?” He said strumming his fingers in his thigh. Never in my life did I think I’d be sitting on a bench with God and him saying something as mundane as ‘dealio’

“I don’t know well I mean you already know. I was thinking of going home. I mean don’t get me wrong it’s great but-“

“My archangels are dicks.” He sighed and my eyes about popped out of my head. Okay, I wasn’t expecting that one.

“Yeah, I know...Warrens pretty much the only good one left..just because he likes to visit Earth. The rest are arrogant and mean. But hey so are the death angels so what ya gonna do? It’s either death angels who want heaven to fall or the archangels who suck.” He sighed and I nodded.

“Yeah, I see where your hands are tied.” I nodded, you know God’s actually a pretty cool guy.

“You do know that that’s your guy right? Warrens literally made for you and you him. And you want to leave, I mean literally, you just got here.” God said still staring out and you shrugged.

“I don’t belong here! Well maybe I do but you know I like being dramatic and it just adds to the plot if I leave in an angsty jealous way.” I said and he nodded.

“That’s true and then Warren like realizes your gone and freaks out and then does something rash and goes down to find you and then you guys fight and make up. I live for that.” He laughed and I along with him.

“So I mean just send me back down and I’m sure I’ll be back. Maybe on better terms.” I smiled, I felt really old talking to him. More mature.

“Okay, you ready?”

“Wait one more thing. I just have to know is that red-headed girl into Warren.” I say sheepishly. Hey God knows everything.

“Yes and it strictly against the rules. I’ve tried talking to her but like I said...dicks.” He shrugged and my heart fell.

“Okay, one more question...did they ever..?” I winced and he stayed silent.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” He patted me on the shoulder and there was a flash of light.

I felt like I was falling and then I hit my kitchen floor.

“OW! JESUS CHRIST!” I groaned...who let me put tile in here?

- okay Warrens Point of View

I laughed and cut up with my friends. I loved them but the only thing with them is when I was with them time...went by fast. When I’m with them I don’t notice anything else either, it’s like they were drugs. Oh, that reminded me.

“Guys this is-“ I said turning around to an empty space. I looked around alarmed. I seemed to realize everything. I had been talking to them the whole time, I hadn’t even noticed Y/N. She was gone...I mean she couldn’t have gone far. I stood up and everyone looked at me weirdly.

“Where are you going, mate?” I heard someone say and I just shook my head.

“I need to do something,” I said but it’s like my body didn’t want to leave. I was so drunk-not literally-it was like something was distracting me.

“You’re not going after the girl are you?” Haniel (the redhead) said smoothly coming next to me. I stepped away from her and left the building. Going out was like a breath of fresh air. No one followed me. I looked around frantically. There was still no sight of her. Okay, calm down maybe she was just out wandering. I looked everywhere and still nothing. I was starting to panic, what if the death angels snuck in and got her?

“Sit down Warren.” I heard from behind me and there sat God.

“Great! Just the person I needed to see! Have you seen-“

“Y/N?” He asked and I nodded frantically.

“Yeah, I sent her back to earth about two hours ago.” He shrugged and my heart stopped.

“What!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I need to go now! What if something-I can’t I need to go-“ I said...I couldn’t think straight.

“Sit down. Jesus.” God said.

“Yes?” Jesus called and God waved his hand.

“Not you Jesus.”

“I need to go now. She’s in danger don’t you get that! They could get her!” I shouted and God just held his ear.

“First off. Ow. I’m sitting right next to you seriously you don’t need to yell. Secondly, she wanted to leave. She found me and asked me to send her back.” God said irritatedly.

“Why would she do that?” I said, heart sinking.

“Well because you didn’t even acknowledge her. She was here a total of like two minutes and nobody even spoke to her. You and your jerk friends left her. If I was her I’d leave too.” God snapped and my heart sank even lower. Oh. I was the reason she left.

“She saw you hugging up on Haniel and immediately, like all humans do, got jealous. Then she felt unwelcome because of you. You’ve really done it this time Warren.” God said disappointedly. Tears pricked my eyes, oh don’t cry in front of God Warren. I hurt her. Something I said I never would do, I did it.

“I have to go fix it,” I said wiping a falling tear. I can’t believe I’ve done this.

“Let’s hope you can.”

- Back to your point of view

It was like a breath of fresh air being back in my house. Sure there was the underlying threat, but I was home. Plus I was alone, which weirdly felt nice. Sure part of the enjoyment was I was angry at Warren, so being away from him let me calm down. He really hurt me, sure maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal but it was to me. He didn’t even say two words to me in front of his friends. He didn’t stop that girl who he had a history with getting cozy with him. It physically hurt me to think about him and that girl. To think about what they were doing now. I took a deep breath and laid on my bed. There was a flash of light, but instead of Warren being there, there was a death angel. Then everything went black.

- warrens POV

I appeared in Y/N’s room to find it empty and my heart started to race. Okay, calm down maybe she was in the kitchen. I searched everywhere and she was nowhere in sight. I knew where she was, there was a dark feeling in my gut and I knew. I walked in her living room to see Malachai sitting on her sofa reading a magazine. He was the new leader of the death angels and immediately I tensed up. My wings extended to intimidate him, seeing how when they left heaven they lost their wings. He didn’t seem worried at all, just smug.

“Warren so good to see you.” He chuckled and I glared. My hands were tied, he was the only one who knew where Y/N was.

“Where. Is. She.” I gritted, I was impatient. This was the second time I had lost her.

“Oh, she’s being taken great care of. You know we thought we had lost her....and then you hurt her enough for her to leave you. She fell right into our hands.” He laughed casually and I winced. This was all my fault.

“What are you going to do to her?” I said, voice cracking and Malachai looked to me in surprise. No one had seen me this distraught.

“Well, we were just going to kill her. Then we did some research and it turns out whatever we do to her will physically manifest to you also. So we decided to have some fun.” He said and then I fell to the ground. Malachai pulled out an iPad and if I wasn’t in pain I might have laughed. On the iPad there sat Y/N in pain as well. I didn’t know where she was. That hurt the most. Everything seemed to hurt worse. Then the lights flickered and she was gone. Malachai seemed to falter and cursed under his breath.

“That was literally not even two seconds and our plan literally goes south right away.” He said and I regained my strength and shoved him against the wall.

“WHERE IS SHE WHAT HAPPENED!” I shout and he just scowls.

“I don’t know. I mean literally, somebody just took her. I’m as clueless as you.” He said and I let him go. He then vanished and I groaned. Shit, I shouldn’t have let him go. I paced around the living room and then went outside. I could always ask God..no I’m not going up there and getting distracted. I looked inside through Y/N’s sliding door and there she stood, but with a man. She didn’t seem in danger she was hugging him. I immediately tensed, who was this prick? They were talking but I couldn’t hear them. Another man came up behind him and I knew who they were. Sam and Dean Winchester. Sam grabbed something from his bag and then Dean drew markings on the ground. Wait I know those symbols those are-a big flash radiated through her house to the outside and I fell to the ground. It was an angel banishing sigil. I ran over to the door and banged on the door. Dean and Sam immediately tensed and that pissed me off. Who did they think they are protecting her like they could do a better job than me. She said something and they dropped their guard and left the room. She unslid the door but I still couldn’t enter.

“I was so worried about you they had you-“

“Because you weren’t there.” She said and her words seemed like poison. It burned to hear them, knowing they were true.

“You were too preoccupied with your friends to even notice me, to even notice that I was gone. Makes me think how much of what you told me was the truth. Maybe you are the bad guy.” She said and a tear slipped down my cheek.

“No. No Y/N I didn’t lie I promise, please. You have to understand I didn’t lie. I was...they did something to me there...I couldn’t focus. I love you please please forgive me please.” I begged but she stood in front of me, teary eyed as well.

“Warren I think it would be best if you didn’t come back.” She said and I shook my head.

“Please, I’m sorry please,” I said and she shook her head.

“This sigil wasn’t for the death angels...it was for you Warren.” She said and my heart shattered. She was keeping me away. There was a flash of light behind her and everything happened in slow motion. I saw Sam and dean before I say Haniel. They ran into the room slowly and I saw Haniel pull an angel blade out and shove it through Y/N’s side. The impact pushed her into my arms and Haniel looked at me then disappeared. I held Y/N in my arms and her blood was pouring out into my hands.

“You’re okay Y/N it’s okay it’s okay please don’t leave me you’re okay please.” I cried and my tears fell even harder. I could feel her life teetering on the edge.

“CASTIEL! WE NEED YOU!” (Okay so Castiel is the angel that helps them in supernatural if you didn’t know) Dean yelled but I wasn’t paying any attention.

Y/N’s bloody hand came up to my face.

“You know even when you hurt me I still loved you. It hurt-it hurt when I had to put the-the sigil up but when I saw you and that girl I knew you’d have a better life up there. You can be with me and-and I think I’ve always known that. That we could never be together-and-and I did it for you. You get to be happy.” She whispered and I cried even harder.

“No. No. No. please Y/N you’re gonna be okay. No, I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want her I want you. I can’t live without you please please open your eyes.” I said shaking my head. I put my arm up to her wound and tried healing her but nothing was happening.

“Please please please Y/N please cmon WHY ISNT THIS WORKING” I cried and she shook her head.

“It’s okay Warren it’s okay.” She smiled and I shook my head.

“No it’s not please please don’t leave me we-we can figure this out,” I said hysterically.

“You can be happy now.”

“I don’t want to be happy damn it! dean? Sam? CASTIEL somebody please somebody help please.” I pleaded and at that moment I wasn’t an archangel or some immortal being. I was for once human, not in control of life or death, watching the one person I love die. And I couldn’t do anything about it. She closed her eyes and I felt her heart slow and I rocked her against my chest. Sam, Dean, and CASTIEL stood crying as well, doing nothing.

- your POV

I awoke, this time sitting on the bench once again with God. We weren’t in heaven, or maybe we were. He wasn’t looking at me but out into a big field in front of us.

“So is this it? Do I finally get what I always wanted?” I said looking out with him and God shook his head saying nothing.

“How many times do I have to tell you this was never about you. It never has been, it’s always been about something more.” He sighed and I just rolled my eyes. Speaking in riddles.

“You aren’t dead, but you are close. This never was about the war, or the death angels or your selfish desire to die. This was about love. When I made the angels I made them in love. They all stayed away from that and not only is this about love but it’s about showing him what it means to be human. Showing him how to feel how to worry how to..love. It never has been about anything else. Warren was the only angel who had a sliver of good left in him and wanted so much to be human.” God said and it all made sense.

“So the archangels turn on him and the death angels turn on you so now what?” I ask because apparently, I’m still not dead.

“Do what you were doing before. Love him, and use each other. That’s always been the plan.” He said sometimes God could really be wise.

“You know that all of this seems really lame that you know you did it for love?” I say and God laughs.

“I know but what is life without love? Love is what makes us all a little...human.” God smiled and everything flashed white.

To be continued....

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