#cancer sucks
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I AM GOING TO SEE THE PUFFINS
It's actually happening
In just a few weeks I will be on a remote island with researchers surrounded by puffins coming home to roost!! AFGSSJDHDKDKSK I am so excited I am almost at risk of going full Crowley!!
For those wondering what the hell this has to do with Good Omens:
Next chapter of DFAFM will be up on Wednesday, and the final chapter has already been written, so I'll finally be done and can return to TIAL&INGO (I have left them curled up in that lighthouse for far longer than I intended to).
Thank you to all my readers for their patience and understanding during the last few weeks, and an extra special thanks to Neil for replying to my ask at just the right time, he is ever a lighthouse in the darkness to me.
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜
#phoenixrose314#good omens#good omens fanfic#don't fall away from me#there is a light & it never goes out#dfafm#tialaingo#ineffable fandom#ineffable author#phoenixrose#crowley#aziraphale#neil gaiman#puffins#cancer sucks
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This sucks. Dude loved his country, respected our military and the dude sure could sing. Rest in peace.
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A week ago, I lost my dear Aunt Carine to her battle with stomach cancer
I know she’s no longer in pain, but as the first person of my family’s older generations that I came out to, it hurts me that she’ll no longer be physically with me…
But it doesn’t mean she won’t be there by my side for every accomplishment I make on my transition journey
I bought my first suit this weekend. While I wanted it to be for my sister’s wedding, I’m sure Carine’s so proud that I got a suit for her funeral
I’ll see you later, Carine <3
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I've waited so very long to post this.
Right before Thanksgiving (last year), a tumor was found behind my right lung. The biopsy came back sarcoma, and I was given the option of surgery and chemo or radiation.
After watching my late wife lanquish through chemo for almost two years, I opted for surgery and follow-up radiation treatments.
After 6 weeks of radiation, I got to ring the bell last Friday and was given this t-shirt (I really didn't feel well enough to take a pic until today).
Thankfully, I'm still here and will continue my sworn duty to keep Bettie's (and others' memories alive).
🙏💖🙏💖🙏💖🙏💖🙏💖🙏
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Update Number Eleventy-Zillion
My dad's got like six months at best, and I'm in that stage where I'm both angry and still in denial about it. He's not at retirement age. He has several dickbag siblings who have done things like stab 17yos in liquor store parking lots and conned little old ladies out of all their money, and my dad is the one who gets the terminal cancer.
I hate the world.
I will say, seeing my besties get to meet the man, the myth, the legend Tom Hiddleston himself has been a rare highlight this week. Being vicariously happy through you all is like medicine. I'm so happy and jealous of all of you! The photos are amazing.
Meanwhile, A Song for the Fallen is up and running. In this time where writing is basically all I have keeping me going, I would love it time a billion if y'all would go give chapter 1 a check out and a reblog, please. I know I'm severely behind on reading your stories, esp @simplyholl and @lokischambermaid, I'm getting to you two next!
I'm also going to be trying to work on the kinky drabble requests I have in my inbox. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN OR REJECTED YE! The ones still on my list are all a bit more specific than the past ones have been, but I intend to do all of them, I think. Just give me time. Smut is difficult to focus on when that old asshole from Supernatural is on your front lawn.
This one.
Anyway, thank you all again who've messaged me with their care and love. I've gotten so many kind words from you all. They're going to carry me through this.
All my adoration,
Lena
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Summary - 2 part story. Four years after leaving Bucky, his former girlfriend arrives at the compound with two surprises.
Length - 2.75K
Characters - Bucky Barnes, named female character, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Sharon Carter, Helen Cho, Wanda Maximoff.
Warnings - angst, accusations of cheating, cancer, rejection, Bucky not handling the situation well, swearing.
Author notes - was supposed to be a one shot but it kept getting longer. Part 1 is going to be full of drama. If you like what you’re reading please let me know by commenting or reblogging.
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Part 1
It was there in black and white. All the tests, all of the imaging that had been done; everything pointed to the same conclusion. Lane sighed, pursed her lips together in a grim smile then looked at the doctors.
“I would like a second opinion,” she said. “Could you send my file to Dr. Bruce Banner and Dr. Helen Cho of the Avengers?”
“You’re a patient of them?” asked Dr. Roberts.
“No, I was an agent at one time,” she replied. “They’ll look at it as a courtesy to me.”
“If they concur? Anything that can be done would only be palliative.”
“I understand,” said Lane. “I’ll be in touch.”
There was a ringing sound in her ears as she left the office and went down the elevator to the main floor. Before the door opened she took a deep breath and calmed herself. The nanny had Danny on her lap on one of the lobby chairs, reading a story to him. He turned his head when he heard Lane’s footsteps coming out of the elevator. Already, at 3 ½ years of age, he was displaying his abilities and he wriggled off Carol’s lap, running to his mother.
“Momma, are you done?” he asked. “Can we go for lunch? I’m hungry.”
“Sure, baby,” she smiled, kneeling down to his level. “We’ll get something to eat, then we’ll go to the playground, okay?”
She stood up, taking him by the hand, smiling at Carol, the nanny, who knew her well enough to know the news wasn’t good. Taking Danny by the other hand she looked at Lane as they walked towards the exit.
“What’s next?”
“Banner and Cho are going to look at my file,” replied Lane. “But I don’t think they’ll be able to do anything.” She glanced sideways at the woman who became her good friend this past year. “I know, I’ll have to tell him. I just … I just wanted Danny to have as normal a life as possible.”
As they stepped outside the building she looked up at the blue sky, feeling the sun on her face, and hearing the sound of birdsong in the trees. For a moment, she felt her throat constrict, at the thought of not being there for her son, but she swallowed it down. If Bruce and Helen couldn’t help her then she would tell Bucky, tell him what she had kept from him when she left the Avengers over four years before.
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
Bucky landed the quinjet on the platform of Stark Tower, then went through his checklist before shutting the aircraft down. Behind him he could hear people standing up, groaning and stretching after the long flight from Australia, where they had undertaken a humanitarian rescue in a gold mine, after it collapsed. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he looked behind him at Steve’s face.
“Beers?” he asked.
“Yeah, but shower first,” replied Bucky. “I swear I’m still caked with the dirt from the rescue.”
Grabbing his go bag he followed the others out and they made their way to the residential level, all of them crammed together into the elevator. With being pretty ripe from the long flight they all held their breath as best they could before streaming out of the opening doors. After entering the door code of his quarters Bucky dropped his bag off inside the door, toed off his boots and stripped down as he walked, coveting the warm shower that beckoned to him.
Fifteen minutes later, with clean clothes on he stepped out of his quarters and headed to the lounge area. Steve already had several beers on the counter, handing one to Bucky and Sam who was right behind him. As others followed he gave them a beer and they all fell onto the big sectional couch, taking long pulls of the refreshing beverage. Just as Bucky took a second long drink of his bottle Friday interrupted the quiet of the gathering.
“Sergeant Barnes, would you please report to the medical lab?” the voice asked. “Dr. Banner wishes to see you.”
“Why?” asked the super soldier. “I just sat down and want to relax.”
“Yes sir,” replied Friday. “I’m not a liberty to state the reason except it is important that you report there.”
Draining his beer Bucky stood up and placed the bottle on the counter, scowling as he headed to the elevator. When it opened on the floor of the medical lab he was surprised to see Bruce, Dr. Cho, and Tony Stark all together in the lab. There was a fourth person in there but they were seated and he couldn’t make out who it was from outside the sliding doors.
“What’s so important that I had to come up here?” he asked as he entered.
Then the fourth person stood up and faced him, leaving him almost speechless.
“Hello, Bucky,” said Lane, her voice tentative. “I asked for you to be here.”
“What the hell? You walk out of my life over 4 years ago, without a word and suddenly you’re demanding to see me? What’s going on?”
“Sit down, Barnes,” said Tony, tersely. “Lane thinks you should have a say in this. I don’t agree, but I’ve been overruled.”
“A say in what?” asked Bucky, feeling the anger bubble up inside him.
“I’m dying,” said Lane, deciding to rip the bandage all the way off. She took her wig off so he could see her lack of hair from the radiation treatment she endured. “It means that our son should be with his father.” Bucky said nothing but he was shocked at her almost bald head and his face turned a brilliant shade of red. “You’re a father. His name is Daniel James, and he’s 3 ½ years old. If you don’t take him I’ll have to put him up for adoption.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his heavy breathing indicating how precarious his control was at that moment. Then he looked at the other three. “Did you all know?”
“It was my decision to keep it from you,” said Lane. “They only found out after he was born, and I asked them not to tell you. I wanted him to have a chance at a normal childhood. That wasn’t going to happen with how you were then.”
“How I was then? I was in love with you!” Bucky was shouting now. “You were it for me. Then I come back from a mission and you’re gone. Everything belonging to you, gone. Why?”
Lane closed her mouth in a grim line and shook her head. She knew it would be like this. Taking a deep breath she straightened her posture to appear as tall as she could and looked him in the eye.
“You were so in love with me that you slept with Sharon when I went to see my mom before she died,” she stated calmly. “You didn’t even take her panties out of the bed, Bucky. I found them there when I changed the sheets when I got back. Our sheets reeked of her perfume. You cheated on me.” She turned away, angry at herself for thinking this was a good idea. “Forget it. I’ll find someone to adopt Danny, someone who won’t lie or sneak around with another woman.”
“I didn’t sleep with her,” he said, his voice breaking. “She was in the bed waiting for me and I walked out. I slept on Steve’s couch until we went out on a mission. You can ask him. Please, Lane, I didn’t cheat. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
She kept her back turned to him, trying not to break down. The others watched him, not sure what to believe then Bucky turned around and went to the elevator, returning to the lounge area. Practically storming to where the others were he glared at Sharon Carter, his lip curled in fury.
“It was your fault,” he sneered. “Your little stunt made Lane leave me. I loved her and wanted to marry her but you didn’t respect that. Because of you I wasn’t there for her when she gave birth to my son. Did any of you know?” He looked at Steve as the others tried not to make eye contact with Bucky. “Did you know I was a father and you didn’t tell me? Did you all think I slept with Sharon?”
“Buck, I didn’t know that Lane had a baby,” said Steve. “I’ll tell her you slept on my couch after finding Sharon in your bed, but I didn’t know that’s why she left. Lane left all of us without a word.”
“Not all of us,” interjected Wanda. “It wasn’t for us to tell you. It was Lane’s decision to leave and her decision not to tell you she was pregnant. I’m sorry.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Bucky’s face went dark with betrayal and anger.
“Fuck you all.”
Turning around he went to his room and repacked his go bag, converting it to a backpack, then put his leathers and motorcycle boots on. Taking the stairs he went down to the garage, mounted his motorcycle and started it up. Steve came out of the elevator, stopping in front of him.
“Don’t do this,” he said. “Don’t fly off the handle. You have a chance to make it better but if you leave ….”
“If I leave, what?” demanded Bucky. “She was everything to me. Now I find out that she thought I was cheating on her. I have a son that she’s giving up for adoption because she’s dying and she’d rather a stranger have him than his own father. How do you think that makes me feel, Steve, huh? I have nothing now, nothing to keep me here.”
He glared at Steve until the blond stepped aside then roared out of the garage on his motorcycle, barely waiting for the automatic door to open. Closing his eyes and shaking his head Steve turned back to the elevator and went up to the medical level, hoping to catch Lane before she left. She was still in the medical lab, crying as Tony hugged her. Right away Steve noticed she had no hair on her head and his heart dropped. When Steve entered Tony looked angrily at him.
“I told you something like this would happen when you first vouched for him to be an Avenger,” he said. “We couldn’t trust him.”
“He didn’t sleep with Sharon,” stated Steve. “We were working out and came back to the rooms to shower. He found her already in their bed, told her to get the hell out, and left. Until we went on a mission he slept on my couch. I’m guessing she left her underwear in there to cause the rift. Not that it matters now. He’s gone.”
Lane stopped crying and turned to Steve. “What do you mean, gone?”
“He packed a bag, put his leathers on and rode out on his motorbike. According to him he now has nothing to keep him here, since you would rather have a stranger adopt your son than have Bucky take him.”
Lane buried her face in her hands, certain that she had destroyed any possibility of making amends with the man she still loved.
“Friday, call Sharon Carter here,” said Tony. “Might as well confirm it from one of the guilty parties.”
“Tony ….”
Steve shook his head, angry at the way Tony automatically assumed that Bucky was in the wrong. Then he remembered what his friend had said about Lane.
“Is it true? Are you dying?”
She nodded her head. “The same breast cancer that killed my mother. Even though I had a double mastectomy and radiation treatment it metastasized. It’s everywhere. I have months left. I was hoping … I don’t know what I was hoping for.”
The sliding glass doors opened and Sharon Carter walked in, then almost walked out when she saw Lane.
“No, you get in here,” said Tony. “I want the truth and remember Friday can tell when someone is lying. Did you sleep with Bucky while Lane was visiting her dying mother?”
All sorts of emotions played over Sharon’s face as she looked from person to person, then she finally shook her head.
“No, I was waiting for him but as soon as he saw me he told me to get the hell out,” she admitted. “I left my panties there and sprayed the sheets with my perfume, hoping Lane would leave him so I could be with him instead. After she left he wouldn’t even look at me. I’m sorry.”
Tony was furious, at himself as much as at Sharon. “Pack your stuff and get out,” he said. “I don’t care where you go but we can’t trust you to have our backs.”
“Please, it was a mistake,” she protested. “I haven’t tried anything like that since. Being in the Avengers is all I have.”
“No, I don’t want you here,” he said. “Because of you a good man has left the Avengers, and a small boy is without his father.” He looked sarcastically at Steve. “I know, I’m not much better as I didn’t believe him but I’m willing to try to fix this. Getting rid of her is the first step.”
“Steve, please, don’t let Tony do this,” cried Sharon. “You’re a team leader. Tell him I’m not like that anymore.”
“I wish I could,” said Steve. “Sorry, but I’m with Tony on this. Bucky wasn’t the only one you did this sort of thing to.”
Sharon turned red. “I don’t know what you mean,” she declared, breathing audibly.
“Peter and MJ,” replied Steve. “He told me. The kid was practically shaking with anger that you would do that. You should go, Sharon. Otherwise, we’ll have to put it to a vote and you don’t want to know what the others think of you.”
“Fine, I’m going.” She turned around then looked back, her face full of disgust. “You’ll regret this. I know a lot of your secrets.”
“Be careful who you threaten,” warned Tony. “Friday, remove all access to the facilities, including computer access and anything else that has been granted to Sharon Carter. She can get into her room to get packed but once she leaves the building remove that as well. You signed an NDA when you became an Avenger, Sharon. You say anything, I have every right to sue you for everything you own, and make it impossible for you to work anywhere ever again.”
Tony called security to escort Sharon to her quarters to pack and escort her out. Then he faced Lane, placing both his hands on her upper arms.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “If you had told me this four years ago I would have dealt with it then.” He glanced at Bruce. “Are you sure there’s nothing that can be done?”
Bruce and Helen looked at each other uneasily. “A long shot,” he replied. “I can try to recreate the serum using Steve’s blood as he has type O blood, universal donor. But we don’t know if we have the time to do it before ….”
“How much blood do you need?” asked Steve immediately, his attention focused on Bruce.
“A unit, from both of you,” he said. “We’ll test it on your blood first, Lane, but I can’t promise anything. I mean I worked years on the serum and look what it did to me. My track record isn’t that good.”
Lane’s lips trembled. “The only other treatment for me is palliative,” she stated. “Even if you just buy me time that’s more than I have now.”
While Bruce and Helen took their blood Tony used Friday to track Bucky by his vibranium arm. He was on one of the expressways.
“Take one of my cars,” said Tony to Steve. “I’d go but I don’t think he would take my apology.”
“I’m coming with you,” added Lane. “The first to apologize to him should be me.”
As soon as the two of them gave their blood they went down to the garage, taking one of Tony’s vehicles. While they drove out of the parking garage, Sharon Carter was put into a taxi, never to return to Stark Tower again. With Friday tracking Bucky they followed his route until the AI informed them that he arrived at a destination, hoping he didn’t do something stupid before they got there.
Part 2>>
Please like, comment or reblog if you liked this.
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#buckybarnes original female character#the avengers#angry Bucky#secret child#cancer sucks#accusations of cheating#bucky barnes short fiction#buckybarnesshortfic
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She dreamt of him still…
Years after his energy had left this earthly plane…
Felt his strong embrace…
Saw his ruggedly beautiful face…
Him, healthy & strong…
Cancer in his eyes gone…
A visit from the other side…
She would awaken…
The missing him would begin again anew…
✨,❤️&✌🏼
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Last year, mom had a CT scan, as routine follow up for her cancer treatment. It showed that an abdominal tumor was gone. We were in a shellshocked state, as she had been in and out of the hospital a couple of times with a gallbladder obstruction requiring a stent, a bowel obstruction, a couple of other things, and weren’t sure that was good news or just more information.
I remember a conversation with her on the phone so vividly. I was putting Lilith to bed, and we both said that we weren’t wanting to get excited, because the word remission had been thrown around 4-5 times and it wasn’t truly remission and we felt like ping pong balls with our emotions.
She was fine the next week. In hindsight, I can see where we could have handled a few things differently. What would the overall outcome have been? Who knows. My brother and I were on tenuous speaking terms because of the disagreement over my neice, and we had been at another facility with our dad trying to get a lung biopsy.
They had difficulty getting a sample of the lung tumor - which we later found out was carcinoma. They had to sedate him pretty heavily, I was trying to work from the waiting room, and we took him home. Mom had been in the hospital the week before and unbeknownst to us, she wasn’t really drinking and eating what she said she was eating and drinking. Later conversations with my uncles - her 2 younger brothers - revealed she had been sharing with them she was ready to stop fighting and was waiting to talk with dad, my brother and I.
Jon, my brother and I, made amends that day while dad was getting scoped. It was a deep and intentful talk. We were honest. It was good. When we took dad home, he and mom said they were fine. Didn’t need either of us to stay, and after being in hospital with mom the week before and missing my family, I came home. I didn’t realize she was so dehydrated. I didn’t realize she wasn’t eating what I had made and left there - pudding, smoothies, soups.
Dad’s sampling was on a Friday. Saturday I stayed home after talking with mom and dad, them saying they were resting but fine. Sunday morning dad called and mom had fallen going to the restroom and had laid on the floor all night as she wasn’t strong enough to get back in the bed, and he hadn’t called us. When he did call, my SIL, brother and the kids, C and I were up there w/i 30 minutes. She was super lethargic. He, my dad, had called my aunt, and they had made a palate on the floor for mom and stayed with her, but otherwise done nothing. When I saw her, laying there on the floor, having lost so much weight, lethargic, a big part of me knew. I knew.
We called an ambulance, her bp was in the toilet. When she was taken to the er, her lactic acid was through the roof, bp still tanked, and I knew. I worked in the surgical intensive care unit for a decade. I knew. She was given 11 liters of fluids and was more responsive, but I talked with an old army doc, who was fucking incredible. He had heard I worked where I work, that my dad was a veteran, and he was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. His eyes told me.
I stayed with her, left for a short window to take Lilith to the pre-k discovery day, and came back. I faught for 8 hours to keep her hydrated, we were waiting on an icu bed, and her bp was super low. There weren’t resources, it wasn’t ideal, and to be honest, I was in fucking denial. The low BP and dehydration, her body had taken a hit with the cancer and long chemo battle, her body just couldn’t bounce back from.
The first couple days she had some BP support and we did some studies. She was with it, but wouldn’t let me do her hair or put her in her home gown. I knew. Still head in the sand.
We tried a feeding tube. I got her up in the bed. She was doing so good, I went home. My aunt came to stay with her overnight. By the time I got back in the morning, it was a different picture.
Should I have stayed? Should I have not left the weekend before? Should I have any number of things? When I got back the next morning, she was on respiratory support, right below a ventilator. It was a face mask and she was struggling with it and trying to take it off. I talked to her and asked her some questions. I confirmed she was of sound mind. Asked her about if she wanted a ventilator. Told her about the potential outcome if we did that, 50/50 at that point with her current strength and battle.
Mom told me she didn’t want to be intubated. I asked her over and over if she knew, that if we didn’t put in a breathing tube she would die. She said yes. I held her hand. Took my time. Reconfirmed many times. Just to be sure. Then I called my brother.
At that time here in Tennessee. We were having tornado weather and heavy rain/thunderstorms. I had to call my SIL to break him out of a city council meeting - he’s important. Then he was heading to get my dad. With the weather and signal at my parents, I had a difficult time reaching my dad. I had to tell my brother, my SIL, and then my father, that mom was finished.
My dad’s sister, my moms brothers, have all told me over and over and independently, that they were proud of me and that I did what mom wanted and how much they appreciated that I respected moms wishes, but a part of me still screams inside that I should have pushed and tried harder for her. The realistic and medical side knows better.
Mom went from 250 lb to 120 lb. Her blood pressure was too low for too long for central organ perfusion - intenstines, kidneys - and had she not had cancer and the overall loss on board, maybe? With that and other circumstances, we would have bought a tracheostomy and mom never coming around.
We went from a clear ct to a withdrawal of care in a weeks time. It was my call. My voice, representing what my mom wanted. It was the last thing I could do for her. To respect her. I KNOW it was right. I KNOW it was what she wanted and it would have resulted ultimately. I know we were fucking lucky to have her present and pleasant ultimately until the end. Right up until the end.
It still haunts me.
It haunts me friends. What would have happened if I didn’t leave the hospital? Should I have overroad her wishes and had her intubated? Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Did I not do my best? Care for her the best? Miss something?
Put a candle in the window. I’ll have a candle lit from now until I join her. As long as I can see the light. I’ll miss her always. And that’s the story. I
t’ll be 1 year this weekend, she would not want me carrying this. Feeling this. She would want me to fly.
Om shanti, shanti, shanti xx
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Please Help Me See My Dad For The Last Time
I don't like to ask for money but this is a special case. My dad is dying of stage four bladder cancer and he was just admitted to the hospital with fluid in his heart. Considering how things are looking he probably won't be with us by the time I can afford it on my own.
I just need help affording the gas to make the drive as he's two states away. I just lost my job due to my disability getting worse so every cent me and my partner has is going toward staying alive right now.
Every dollar helps and if you can't donate reblogs do make a world of difference.
P4yp4l: @demig025, paypal.me/demig025
V3nm0: @demig025
C4sh4pp: $demig025
Currently at: 0/150
#This is extremely embarrassing for me but if I don't get to see my dad on his deathbed I don't know if I could live with myself#There's nothing wrong with needing help but fuck I'm a prideful bitch#help#ebegging#fuck cancer#cancer sucks#dying parent#parent death#mutual aid
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Life doesn't always take the turns you think it will.
Mine certainly never has.
Apologies to all my wonderful, devoted readers who cheer me on so enthusiastically, I know I am behind with my posting - several events unfolded at the end of what had been a rather wonderful week, and I ended up having an unexpected surgery.
I'm recovering well, but understandably a little behind on posting.
[insert dodgy photos of me pre surgery for sympathy, lol]
The next chapter of There Is A Light & It Never Goes Out should be posted this evening or tomorrow morning, and Don't Fall Away From Me will be updated shortly after that. Both are nearly finished, just need some editing -- i refuse to let my poor health affect the quality of output!
Love you all and hope you can forgive me. Real life is a bitch.
🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤
#good omens#go fanfic#go fanfic author#ao3 author#cancer sucks#phoenixrose#phoenixrose314#dont fall away from me#dfafm#there is a light#ineffable author#ao3 good omens#good omens ao3#life is a bitch#good omens fanfiction#good omens fanfic#go fanfiction#i love my readers#please forgive me#im doing my best i swear
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youtube
THank you @crystalclearmusic1 and @crystaljaydeinside1
I'm trying, I'm fighting.
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Well congratulations assholes, you threw such a malicious, gossip fueled, slanderous, gleeful temper tantrum that you forced a woman going through chemotherapy to doll herself up and make a public statement to get you to shut the fuck up.
Imagine being Princess Catherine, going through major abdominal surgery, which already had to suck, only to be told after it was done that you had cancer and had to start preparing chemo treatment. You have to process this, how miserable it's going to be, because not even being rich is going to make this easy to live through, just easier. You have to tell your husband whose dad is already suffering from cancer as a geriatric with a hellish job he has to inherit, most likely in the next few years, that you're going to have to fight this as well and that he could end up a widower and single dad to 3 children under 12, children you have to prepare to watch their mom go through torture she might not survive. And in the midst of all of that, a bunch of assholes decide to slander and shame both you and your husband in a million ridiculous ways and are revelling in it. It gets so bad, despite the fact that you warned that you would be recovering from surgery, that you have to get off bedrest and make a public announcement you maybe weren't ready to make to try and get them to stop and let your family process and adapt in peace.
Does that sound fun ? Of course in bloody doesn't. Leave. people. alone. What the hell is wrong with you ? Sure we didn't know about the cancer, but we knew she was recovering from surgery, what gave any one the right to harass them ? Did no one learn from the previous Princess of Wales ? Because my mom has been concerned for weeks, saying that people's obsession with Catherine is reaching Diana levels. And we all know how that ended. It's paparazzi trying to answer people's curiosity with her that chased that car into a tunnel.
#princess catherine#kate middleton#don't harass people#remember diana#what is your damage#don't be a dick#cancer sucks#control yourself
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Ugh, gonna be a tough end of the week.
My dad's getting his official prognosis this afternoon. Even the doctor he's had for years has been trying to rush him through this miserable testing process so treatment can start...it's that bad. I'm not drugged enough for this. I did want to thank everyone who's messaged me and shown me love and support here. Right now, distraction is key, so I won't be going away, yet.
Trump, Putin, or Netanyahu should be dying of cancer instead. My dad has a brother in prison right now for assault on a minor with a weapon and HE had cancer and survived it. This is some real bogus shit.
Meanwhile, on the positive side, A Song for the Fallen drops today. I'm actually kind of proud at how it's developing, so it would mean a lot to me if y'all would check it out when it posts. I know most of my readers are here for the Loki love, and our beloved God of Mischief will still be my #1, but this is a Bucky x Reader x Steve miniseries that's going to be all emotions and drama (some smut but it won't be the focus, and it will only be for one episode). I'd love it so much if you'd give it a read!
I apologize for all the personal diary-style posts. I need to put them somewhere and I'm not one to go to all the trouble to make a second blog for them.
Love to you all,
Lena
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@shelbyblueeyes and @bambibrowneyes I know how hard this is for you both. You will always have my support even if from afar. It has changed my life forever and I know it has changed yours.
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