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beenjen · 5 days
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Busy, busy.
> Spring is here in middle Tennessee. The top two photos are of the garden beds being prepped and my peach tree in the front yard.
> Cincinnati was awesome, we had a great time with my dad and the aquarium is a fun trip.
> I volunteered to make donation cupcakes for the school bake sale - they weren’t fails exactly, they were a bit more challenging than the tutorial video looked (as is ever the case).
It’s been a lovely Saturday outside today. Hope everyone is getting some of this sun xx
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beenjen · 6 days
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Successfully made a dinner every member of the family enjoyed 🤘
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beenjen · 18 days
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I was reminded this morning, after a lovely yoga, that I haven’t listened to this album for a long, long time.
This was the first time, in weeks, aside from transit to and from work, walks at work, the rare Monday of late that hasn’t been absorbed with appointments, projects, etc, etc, that I had an outing. I met some friends at yoga -
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It’s a free class my studio puts on at a local brewery. Then I grabbed a latte, and headed for a facial. It was so amazing. Something I needed so much.
When I got home, all of my happy was completely stomped all over. Its so exhausting having to wear all the hats. I can’t step away ever. I can’t let go ever. If I do, everything comes crashing down. It makes me bitter and resentful. It’s hard not to stay there, mentally. To just keep my chin up sometimes.
I shared that the spring break snuck in there - which I’m not sure ‘snuck’ is the right word, because I don’t think it was a surprise for everyone, just for us, and I say ‘us’ lightly, as I was informed I would need to take care of everything, childcare, etc. so, as ever, I have.
The kids, my dad and I are headed to Cincinnati in the morning. We are hitting the Smale Riverpark, have a hotel with an indoor pool, and it’ll be fun. Then we are meeting my nephew and family at the aquarium to pet penguins and sharks, and I want to be excited, because it think it will be fun, I’m just so tired and feel I’m making motions at this point.
Quick Up and back, I will work Tuesday, have childcare sorted…. Then I’m off Wednesday for dads infusion and have to bring the kids with, which is fine, they can’t go into the actual infusion area though, we will sit in the waiting room, then Thursday, I have child care sorted and will have to work, then Friday I have them solo while working from home. I’m nervous about that because I have actual video confidential appointments and my kids do not give a fig about that shit. So, I’m sure it’ll be great - fake smile.
it’s just a thankless job at this point. Everything. Being a parent. A wife. Homemaker. Truth be told, I feel more appreciation from my patients than I do anything else. Running all over for my dad, making special trips to the grocery to get things for hubs while we will be out of town, extra effort for the kids lunches/career day, it’s all MORE. On top of work, trying to take care of myself, keep friendships alive, and no one ever acknowledges it. It’s expected.
I’m fucking becoming a bitter bitch and I don’t know how to stop it. Like, I’m a fucking happy person. I do not live with a happy person at this point. The kids, if you know kids, they are just bumming about, and oblivious. It’s not intentional on their part, which is par for the course. And I will say hubs did it up for valentines, and I was not expecting that, it was a complete surprise. Outside of that? I can’t even.
The worst part? Everyone I know, who is in a similar situation, feels exactly as I do. Somethings gotta give, and I’m tired of it being me folks. I’m not putting myself on the back burner anymore. I’ve take steps to negate that.
When the kids are out for school and I can, I’m just taking them places by myself.
I’m not waiting anymore for someone else to make plans. I’m just doing that shit myself.
I’m making my needs in the top 5. Why should what I need always be at the bottom of the list? Fuck that. Nope.
I have commitments to myself, to take care of me yes, but also, to show my kids how things SHOULD be. I’m their example and I have to do better.
I’ve been walking again at work. Making the time.
I’ve been making yoga a must - it really is, for my mental health.
I started light lifting again. Some Functional strength training. Because it makes me feel strong and capable.
Let’s not lose ourselves my lovelies xx
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beenjen · 29 days
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Last year, mom had a CT scan, as routine follow up for her cancer treatment. It showed that an abdominal tumor was gone. We were in a shellshocked state, as she had been in and out of the hospital a couple of times with a gallbladder obstruction requiring a stent, a bowel obstruction, a couple of other things, and weren’t sure that was good news or just more information.
I remember a conversation with her on the phone so vividly. I was putting Lilith to bed, and we both said that we weren’t wanting to get excited, because the word remission had been thrown around 4-5 times and it wasn’t truly remission and we felt like ping pong balls with our emotions.
She was fine the next week. In hindsight, I can see where we could have handled a few things differently. What would the overall outcome have been? Who knows. My brother and I were on tenuous speaking terms because of the disagreement over my neice, and we had been at another facility with our dad trying to get a lung biopsy.
They had difficulty getting a sample of the lung tumor - which we later found out was carcinoma. They had to sedate him pretty heavily, I was trying to work from the waiting room, and we took him home. Mom had been in the hospital the week before and unbeknownst to us, she wasn’t really drinking and eating what she said she was eating and drinking. Later conversations with my uncles - her 2 younger brothers - revealed she had been sharing with them she was ready to stop fighting and was waiting to talk with dad, my brother and I.
Jon, my brother and I, made amends that day while dad was getting scoped. It was a deep and intentful talk. We were honest. It was good. When we took dad home, he and mom said they were fine. Didn’t need either of us to stay, and after being in hospital with mom the week before and missing my family, I came home. I didn’t realize she was so dehydrated. I didn’t realize she wasn’t eating what I had made and left there - pudding, smoothies, soups.
Dad’s sampling was on a Friday. Saturday I stayed home after talking with mom and dad, them saying they were resting but fine. Sunday morning dad called and mom had fallen going to the restroom and had laid on the floor all night as she wasn’t strong enough to get back in the bed, and he hadn’t called us. When he did call, my SIL, brother and the kids, C and I were up there w/i 30 minutes. She was super lethargic. He, my dad, had called my aunt, and they had made a palate on the floor for mom and stayed with her, but otherwise done nothing. When I saw her, laying there on the floor, having lost so much weight, lethargic, a big part of me knew. I knew.
We called an ambulance, her bp was in the toilet. When she was taken to the er, her lactic acid was through the roof, bp still tanked, and I knew. I worked in the surgical intensive care unit for a decade. I knew. She was given 11 liters of fluids and was more responsive, but I talked with an old army doc, who was fucking incredible. He had heard I worked where I work, that my dad was a veteran, and he was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. His eyes told me.
I stayed with her, left for a short window to take Lilith to the pre-k discovery day, and came back. I faught for 8 hours to keep her hydrated, we were waiting on an icu bed, and her bp was super low. There weren’t resources, it wasn’t ideal, and to be honest, I was in fucking denial. The low BP and dehydration, her body had taken a hit with the cancer and long chemo battle, her body just couldn’t bounce back from.
The first couple days she had some BP support and we did some studies. She was with it, but wouldn’t let me do her hair or put her in her home gown. I knew. Still head in the sand.
We tried a feeding tube. I got her up in the bed. She was doing so good, I went home. My aunt came to stay with her overnight. By the time I got back in the morning, it was a different picture.
Should I have stayed? Should I have not left the weekend before? Should I have any number of things? When I got back the next morning, she was on respiratory support, right below a ventilator. It was a face mask and she was struggling with it and trying to take it off. I talked to her and asked her some questions. I confirmed she was of sound mind. Asked her about if she wanted a ventilator. Told her about the potential outcome if we did that, 50/50 at that point with her current strength and battle.
Mom told me she didn’t want to be intubated. I asked her over and over if she knew, that if we didn’t put in a breathing tube she would die. She said yes. I held her hand. Took my time. Reconfirmed many times. Just to be sure. Then I called my brother.
At that time here in Tennessee. We were having tornado weather and heavy rain/thunderstorms. I had to call my SIL to break him out of a city council meeting - he’s important. Then he was heading to get my dad. With the weather and signal at my parents, I had a difficult time reaching my dad. I had to tell my brother, my SIL, and then my father, that mom was finished.
My dad’s sister, my moms brothers, have all told me over and over and independently, that they were proud of me and that I did what mom wanted and how much they appreciated that I respected moms wishes, but a part of me still screams inside that I should have pushed and tried harder for her. The realistic and medical side knows better.
Mom went from 250 lb to 120 lb. Her blood pressure was too low for too long for central organ perfusion - intenstines, kidneys - and had she not had cancer and the overall loss on board, maybe? With that and other circumstances, we would have bought a tracheostomy and mom never coming around.
We went from a clear ct to a withdrawal of care in a weeks time. It was my call. My voice, representing what my mom wanted. It was the last thing I could do for her. To respect her. I KNOW it was right. I KNOW it was what she wanted and it would have resulted ultimately. I know we were fucking lucky to have her present and pleasant ultimately until the end. Right up until the end.
It still haunts me.
It haunts me friends. What would have happened if I didn’t leave the hospital? Should I have overroad her wishes and had her intubated? Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Did I not do my best? Care for her the best? Miss something?
Put a candle in the window. I’ll have a candle lit from now until I join her. As long as I can see the light. I’ll miss her always. And that’s the story. I
t’ll be 1 year this weekend, she would not want me carrying this. Feeling this. She would want me to fly.
Om shanti, shanti, shanti xx
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beenjen · 1 month
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I’m having a bit of a struggle. Generalizing, and maybe it’s a me thing, I just don’t feel I can be successful with ALL the different balls I’m juggling up in the air.
I either kill it at work, have a clean home, have my self care on point, have an amazing connection with my husband, nail it at parenting, or I’m dropping one of the ‘balls’ and it shatters.
> If the house is clean and I’m working out regularly, I may forget a kid assignment, not get a good conversation with hubs.
> if hubs and I are really quality timing, the house goes to shit, the yard is a disaster and the kids may get too much screen time.
> if I’m on point with my job, I’m not keeping tight enough check with my dad, I forget the dogs medicine and I might miss yoga.
Why does this feel so hard? The more I work at balance, it’s like a handful of sand - you cup your palm and the sand stays there, but you try to grip it and hold onto it, it’s squeezing out, oozing between your fingers, sifting to the ground. Is it that I need to chill the fuck out? Am I not chill enough? I constantly feel like an utter failure.
I’ll have a brilliant success at work and amazing patient engagement, but a call from school that the kids are doing x/y, or I’ll fuss with hubs. I’ll do amazing at getting caught up with laundry, grocery shop, make dentist appointments, but somehow miss the kids are out for an ENTIRE WEEK IN MARCH.
Which is what happened. The kids, as long as we’ve been at this school, have not had a full week off. We extend the week in the fall for a full break, or add a Friday for a trip here and there. This year though, and despite me vividly remembering I put all the school break dates on the calendar, and them never having a week off in March in the past 4 years, they do, and I missed it.
So, it’s in 2 weeks. I’ve restructured everything, to make it work, BUT, how did I miss that? Also, why is it only on me? The responsibility of missing something so big? I don’t feel accountability is equal. In so many things.
At my job, I work with patients, and the details I’ll keep to myself, bottom line though, at least 5 times a week, a patient who has missed the last 3 appointments, hasn’t come in for labs, didn’t go to PT or another specialty referral, will call in furious saying nothing has been done for them.
At home, my kid, who never picks up a damn thing, will be super upset she can’t find a certain toy. Or will have left something outside and it’s now ruined because it rained, or the dog ate it and it’s somehow my fault?
J doesn’t have clean socks, because they are all wadded up at the foot of his bed, or between the couch cushions, instead of in his laundry basket and they aren’t washed. My bad?
Momma is spent folks. I’m barely fucking surviving here. I am surrounded by folks who take no responsibility or ownership and I just can’t. I can’t. I’m not even washing my hair regularly, getting a walk at work, nor can I commit to even one day a week of yoga or even the same day of yoga consistently, but somehow, any and everything that goes wrong, is missed or overlooked is on me?
Is anyone feeling me? Please don’t tell me it’s my effing hormones, I’ll probably break something.
Love you guys xx
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beenjen · 1 month
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Sing it Willie 🌟 💫 ⭐️
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beenjen · 1 month
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It’s been a long holiday weekend here and it has been much needed. A chance to slow down. I’ve done some deep cleaning pockets. We’ve rearranged some things to make the house flow better, and tomorrow I have an impromptu day off, which was meant to be a solo day, but sister is on the mend after a bug this weekend and I’m cashing in on the close to preschool and no count school days and keeping g her with me.
I was going through the math today and I’ll be 43 in September… I’m closer to 45 than 40 now, and I don’t feel it? Yeah there’s stress and my weight has pendulmed to the ‘higher’ range at the moment with a struggle to get a routine of late - dad, sick kids, work dramedy, limited reliable kiddo care options - I’m feeing strong though, and my yoga game is hitting hard. It’s been a beautiful blooming of breaking through some previous limitations as far as hip opening and a shoulder impingement. So I guess that’s called a non scale victory? And for lack of a better term, I just am feeling good. I’ve fully embraced the natural hair movement - if there is one - and even though my grandmother would roll over in her grave, I haven’t dyed my hair in 3 years (I think?)… I am digging the silver strands coming through. It’s ultimately a feeling of peace and resonance right now.
The weather is changing here and looks that spring has sprung. My first daffodils poked through this week and how funny because we had a foot of snow and iced roads a month ago, now everything is budding. I’m anxious to see if my mums we transplanted lasted the winter made it 🤞
We are looking for a platform/slide bed for our 5 year old to convince her she DOES want to sleep in her bed and not wedge in between mommy and daddy every night between 11p-2a. I think that will be her Easter present. We also have some treehouse modifications and climbing assists for the front yard for J man I think he will enjoy with the warm weather.
We would like to plan a camping trip for April when we will both be off and the kids have a long weekend. We take 2 weeks for our anniversary every year and the timing lines up. The prob comes with our dogs and who can watch them. We are leaning towards asking dad to come down, and I think it would be a fun thing for him to do maybe? His treatment is going well as far as it can, is it insensitive to ask him? C’s mom said the dogs are too much for FIL, so, is it the same with my dad or would it be fun company for him? I don’t know.
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1// J’s gorg locks
2// my first attempt at homemade apple cider vinegar
3// c and my girl
4// the kids ‘cooked dinner’ for valentines 😍😍😍
I also felt super homesteady this week; I made my homemade cleaner out of orange rinds and apple cider vinegar. I save all the peels then soak in vinegar for 1-2 weeks, then strain and add some water and tea tree oil - it’s AMAZING. Then you take the used rinds and put them in your garden to prevent pests. The picture is apple peels/cores that you soak for 1-2 weeks in cloth covered jar, then strain to make your own apple cider vinegar. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Every little bit helps. Everything you do good, is something good xx
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beenjen · 1 month
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1// set up more of a plant section in a workout area. Used the table I was working on for my mom before she passed and set my grandmothers ceramic Christmas tree in with the other greenery. It feels right and it is peaceful.
2// C and I revamped my home office - it had become a catch all as I wasn’t working any from the house. I now have a standing desk and changed out my art for a piece mom painted me. I love the progress and am working on a piece to go behind me for video calls. I’m painting a plant/book stand, then maybe mount all my diplomas/certificates?
3// hung the blue painting from my grandmothers. I always loved it, it is only shades of blue and always spoke to me. She gifted it to me when I got my first place and I’ve lovingly tugged it along with me everywhere since 💚
4// hung art in the hall upstairs, only took 12 years hahaha
5// took a leaf out of the dining room table and we are playing with some ideas to split the living room and have some swivel chairs. We had a bench and now it’s all chairs. If is starting to feel more cozy and that’s what we want and what serves us at this time.
6// rearranged some shelves in the living room. I’m feeling more thinning to come, it feels lighter though and that’s a start.
ALSO, I found Js birth certificate and ss card. Then I found Ls ss card, not her birth certificate. I know it’s somewhere, probably stuck to something, however, I just ordered one because I can and it wasn’t as hard as I thought.
We’ve decided to change the kids school this coming year. We had the best of hopes when we started the school we are at, and the principle when we signed up was amazing and progressive. Since he left, it’s not been the same and just isn’t meeting the priorities we have set and the special things the kids have interest in. Too, the rhetoric that is coming to light isn’t lining up with our values. It’s a good change I feel. J is gifted in mechanics/electronics, and that program was cut, plus Lils wants to be in theater, which they only perform one Christmas show a year… we will be best served elsewhere and instead of dread, I feel excitement, so I know it’s the right choice.
Today I gathered all the goodies for the kids valentines, and this will be the last ‘first’ without my mom. Over the weekend I felt almost a crippling sensation of coming out of my skin. I am choosing to look it as growth, and how a snake sheds its skin, I’m becoming a new version of myself? I cleansed the house and opened all the windows. So much forward momentum and positivity is coming and with us, that I can’t help but feel a settled stillness. That life will continue to go on and I will carry her with me, even though she is not here, she’s in everything I do and feel. She’s here even though she’s not.
Peace and happy valentines my lovelies. So much love and prosperity for us this coming year xx
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beenjen · 2 months
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This is for you @inthewoodsbesidethesea
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It’s been a lovely couple of days here. Great time with my dad Monday. Tuesday work was incredible - I incorporated the new mentorship training I attended and amped up the patient-provider connection. Today is a random day off because they changed my dad‘s infusion schedule and I’m having an absolute ‘me’ day.
Morning yoga-barre-Pilates fusion class. Indian at the Farmers market with my baby cousin. Now a homemade chai latte fueled walk before kiddo pick up -
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Cheers xx
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beenjen · 2 months
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Alrighty friends, @theotherchrisscruggs was a bit disappointed no one mentioned or commented on his Pickle Rick -
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I want to give everyone the opportunity to do so now (he was tucked into a larger, jam packed post), and to say heyo to hubbo 😘
Xx
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beenjen · 2 months
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Another busy week. It’s been well here; had jury duty Monday - I wasn’t picked and thank goodness for that, it was 7 counts of sexual assault against a minor - I DID NOT need that in my brain. Then Tuesday and Wednesday I was part of a professional development training team for introducing Biopsychosocial involvement in chronic pain. It was really amazing.
Dad seems to be doing some better. We had a couple weird moments, where he came down to dinner and told the kids that my mom’s spirit is still at the house and knocking things over, making noise. On the surface, no issues with that belief. That’s your experience. Clearing that up with my 5 & 9 y/o, not so much. It’s hard, those conversations. All in all though, he’s talking, feeling, which, in all honesty, is part of the damn healing process. You have to feel, to deal, to heal. I told him how proud I am of him, because it’s just shit, and the worst thing to happen to him in his life. That shit is heavy and has to feel impossible.
Headed to Thai with friends. Then apparently we are going to a field where we will be looking for Saturn through a telescope.
Saturn 🤘
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beenjen · 2 months
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At work today, some one literally pooped all over the seat and floor. Just, everywhere. So, I’m not having THAT kind of day at least.
Did get a call from J’s school where he’s been being snarky for the past 2 weeks and his teacher wanted to check in and see what could be going on. We ended up having a lovely chat about where things are and possible conversations he and I can have to get to the root of things. I appreciate her caring enough to check in. That’s awesome.
I’ve been listening to this on repeat and it’s gotten me through the day
Love you guys. The sun is out here and dang, sure is nice to see that blue today -
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Xx
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beenjen · 2 months
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Friends. How’s everyone doing? The holidays are behind us, spring awaits.
It’s been a special kind of challenge here. We’ve had some ups and downs with my dad. With all his treatments and medication shuffles, his cortisol level plummeted. He’s had all the symptoms of low cortisol - depression, anxiety, fatigue, brain fog, inability to handle stressful situations, lack of focus. With the chemo, it’s hard to know which is coming from what honestly. Then with them increasing cholesterol medications and anti-depressants, him having joint pains, muscle aches, him having suicidal thoughts and crying jags that are so out of character, it’s been a tremendous stress and fear.
Glad to have a hopeful resolution and doctors who are paying attention. So. Watching such a strong and powerful man struggle, it’s humbling. In a way I can’t put into words. Too though, it’s coming up on a year without mom. Their house had a water leak that caused us to have to clear out mom’s clothes and such. Her dog passed. His shop roof has had some leaking that the company sent to fix it has been sluggish in doing so, which has lead to now more needed work. His side effects from the medications/hormone imbalance, has left him not getting out much, no motivation, in pain. So many factors, it’s been a course for sure finding our way to answers. Keep us in your thoughts as we navigate these times.
We had the difficult conversation to ascertain if he was thinking of hurting himself, had a plan. It was actually hubs who asked him flat out. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing man as my partner. Dad said he doesn’t have a plan and he made a pact with us, because of our kids, so, we will be close.
Too, this has brought my brother and I back into alignment. The estate is settled. He and I are talking daily. It’s been a tremendous support. A relief. We both have talked about how we want to have a relationship despite our differences, and it’s best case scenario. Fingers crossed.
Work is well. I’m in a stage of really enjoying my work and colleagues. There have been some salary adjustments that put us in a comfortable position where so many I know are not. Hubs too had a long overdue adjustment that rewards his long hours and efforts. Feeling so fortunate. Proud of how far we’ve come, not just financially and professionally, those are nice accomplishments too though.
C and I have it feels, evolved? Question for my long term committed relationship peeps, is this something you also feel you do as you grow together? Level up? Become closer through trials or talking, laughing? It keeps sneaking up on me, how much I have, with this marriage. That I chose well and we BOTH prioritize supporting one another and our family/relationship. It’s beautiful.
The kids are good. We had the magical snowpocalyse here. Since last week, it has literally rained EVERYDAY and gone from being ice and below 20 for a week to 60s and showers. Typical Tennessee weather. We could still have another couple rounds of winter. Guess we’ll see. School is back in and the yearly testing required of students is ongoing. It makes me nervous because the age group J falls in has had a lot of fallout because of delays with Covid. He’s worked so hard and did tutoring last year, I feel he has it in the bag, this mom ‘stress’ where you are constantly thinking and worrying is just another level of it all I suppose.
Valentines is coming up friends. What are your plans? Do you celebrate? We’ll be doing our tradition of making shepherds pie together. Also bought Lilith mommy and me dresses - she’s been asking and while I feel a bit silly, I think she will be so excited.
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//C bought a pickle rick for his office.
//Our elderly cat has come out of her self imposed seclusion in the upstairs and is hanging in our room with one of our other cats and the kids. It’s been fun. We’ve had her 15 years? She was a rescue from Cs job parking lot.
//we took the kids for sushi and even though they didn’t love it. The chopsticks were a hit.
//Lilith is in an obsessive mommy snuggle/need stage. I’m working to enjoy this time as I know it will pass.
//busted my ass chasing c when he took off the the frosting for some cupcakes the kid and I made. I slipped on a pad for our old girl (doggo) Luna, and hit the footboard of the bed hardcore. Funny story, I’ll share one of these days. Nothing is broke so, win?
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beenjen · 2 months
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Magic ❄️ 🌨️
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We had the rescheduled second gen cousin present swap Saturday evening, it was fab. Some family came in from Texas, there was ridiculousness amongst the kids all hopped up on sugar and being buckwild - an unmitigated success 🤘
My mom’s dog passed, it was sad, and emotional. Bonding though? My bro came up and we made it down, and we took care of the burial in 20 degree weather, got dad stocked up with food, et al. It was peaceful, a passing of the guard.
We made it home before the forecasted snow, and we’ve had 6-8 inches here in Nashville. While I know that is chump change for many of you, it’s been brilliant here. It’s less than 10 here right now and slated to be below freezing at night with high less than 20 until Thursday. Schools are closed. I had taken off for a transferred MLK holiday. We are holed up.
Took the kids out last night when we had a dusting. We swang in the swing-set. Looked over the river. Played with the dogs. Looked up at the sliver moon. Immersed.
We stayed up way late, slept in this morning. It snowed all night and until 3-4 pm today. We went out this morning in the yard and made snow angels. Jumped on the trampoline.
This afternoon we went back out and a quarter mile from our house is a playground and hill attached to a local church. All the neighborhood kids were sledding and it was Such a fun gem. Almost like this hidden, golden, perfect moment. All day was like that.
Tonight we went back out. All the sane parents were home and snuggled up watching movies. Us? We loaded up those kids and went back to the hill. We sled and rolled down the hill for almost 2 hours - it was completely deserted and ours for the taking.
We’ve plenty of groceries for yummy meals. Coffee. Heat. Heart. It’s been a few days of core memories if that rings true to anyone? This, today, with our kids, was all about reliving and making sure we brought them this unfettered joy. Of a snow day.
We’ve connected and unplugged and it has been perfection. Absolute perfection.
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beenjen · 3 months
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Wednesdays are the night I’m riding solo. C has to go back into work after I get home, it’s been a thing. So, tonight, I get here. The kids are chill. They’ve had dinner. It’s all about packing lunches and bedtime. What?!
So, I do that. Then I’m left with this time -
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Which equals Yoga with doggo 💚
I even luxed with my newest obsession - Ayurvedic scalp massage 😍😍😍
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And music 💚
Man I hope you loves are getting in what feeds your soul xx 💚💚💚
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beenjen · 3 months
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Cleaned the inside of the microwave and even dusted the front room. Who even am I?
//we FINALLY made the front room into ‘our’ area - it’s been a brain child for a few years now. We kept putting it off wanting to paint, strip the walls, do some drywall work on the ceiling, refinish the floors…. I decided eff it, we can always paint, move the stuff when we decide to strip the walls, etc down the road. Why wait?
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The chairs are our Christmas present to ourselves. The rug was the one I picked out for our dinning room, it just didn’t work. The jute in the high traffic area kept getting tripped over and the edges rolling. In the entrance room, it doesn’t do that? Whatevs, we love it.
// Here’s some pics of the kids and us from Christmas. We hosted 4 events over the holiday weekend and I may still be in recovery -
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// the insurance company has wasted no time on dads house, the carpet through the house and flooring in the bathrooms is complete. The vanity is in and all that’s left is some trim and us to put the furniture back.
He’s been having a lot of joint pain and myalgias, we thought he maybe was sick? But, it hasn’t gotten better. When I went up this weekend and was getting his meds sorted, it dawned on me he recently started a new cholesterol medication, which incase you didn’t know, joint pain and muscle pain is a big side effect with that class of meds… so he has an appointment in the morning and I’m hoping we can swap it to something else and in the coming weeks we can get dad back to feeling some better.
Wishing you all a lovely week - happy new year xx
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beenjen · 3 months
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I’m working from home today and thought it would be a good idea to bottom water some of my plants. This isn’t even half of my plants y’all. I have trees. I have ones without drainage holes that can’t be bottom watered. I have hanging pots. I have window pots. I have plant lights for dark corners. I also have plants in the garage ‘wintering’ and plants outside that dig cold weather. I’ve a lot of plants friends.
Is that a stage of life thing? A Jen specific aesthetic thing? To be fair, I’ve ALWAYS had plants and my mom had an entire window seat full of them, which I inherited this past year, so, it’s not a new-hop-on-the-bandwagon thing, just, the collection has taken on a mind of its own.
Hell, even my kids have plants in their rooms…. My daughter, at 5, moves her plants around, takes mine and puts them on her vanity, collects feathers and rocks to put into her plants, and my son opens a window for his every morning. Are plants my therapy? What would you call it?
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