I am starting to treat my body like the embarrassment it is
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not me and my grandma having the same antidepressants slayyyy queen
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sometimes I wonder how it'd feel to have good parents
maybe I wouldn't have all those scars now
maybe I wouldn't starve to feel accomplished
maybe I wouldn't be wishing I was dead
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Even my therapist told me I couldn’t do it.
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im in my *dont touch me* era
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I accidentally caught a firefly today.
He was flying around alone.
My jar was broken
So I cupped my hands
Around his light.
He landed on my thumb
And chose to stay.
He nightly leads the way
To the garden
To a flowerbed
Where my nightly battle ends
Before the morning light
Reminds me of the price I'm to pay.
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Being picky is such a blessing I’ve hardly been eating here
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It hurts it hurts it hurts
I'll focus on counting calories so I can stop thinking of him.
It hurts it hurts it hurts
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i can’t cry so i learnt to use my veins instead
when i feel blue my skin paints red
guess the numbness blocks tears too
they can’t flow so blood will do
cold air is kinda warm really
cos then the scars they can’t see
promise i won’t take my life (maybe)
i just tend to seek relief from a knife
like a breath of fresh air
im okay i swear
you call it self harm
to me its self care
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i wish i wasn’t such a burden and could help you more when you’re down, i’m sorry.
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I literally can't stand my own mind anymore, every day is a fight and every chore seems like an impossible thing for me. Getting up is a nightmare, getting through the day is a nightmare, then when I go to sleep I wake up multiple times a night crying and screaming because of the nightmares haunting me. I can't live with myself anymore, I want to fucking let go.
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my brain: bro you need to start weighing yourself if u want to record progress
me:
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