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#depressing post
st4r34ter · 54 minutes ago
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Tw body goalz (I’m in recovery btw) I wish their was more body inspo that looked like this because this is honestly my goal but all body inspo I see is like super super small girls and whenever I look up thick body inspo it’s literally just women that look like they just came out of three surgery’s back to back that look like a literal hour glass and it’s so un achievable 😐
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depresseddonna · 4 hours ago
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Depression isn’t easy, but I choose to chase happiness everyday.
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mentecaotica · 6 hours ago
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A veces por miedo decidimos regresar a lo conocido que aventurar por lo desconocido.
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nowypoczatek · 9 hours ago
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12.04.21
Wow. Jestem w szoku. Mimo wczorajszego podjadania słodkości schudłam! Miałam się wczoraj rano nie ważyć, ale moja głowa bardzo chciała zobaczyć ile przybyło przez dwa dni jedzenia czego chce i ile chce.
Ndz 7:00 61,2kg
Pn 8:30 60,8kg
Jest progres. Byle do końca tygodnia zejść do 60. I to utrzymać. Będę chyba usatysfakcjonowana. Chociaż tym.
Psychicznie jestem wrakiem, płaczę już bez powodu, trzęsę się z tego wszystkiego. Pożera mnie stres przed każdą nadchodzącą minutą. Boję się. Ze sobie nie poradzę, że z czymś nie zdążę, że nie jestem dość dobra w tym co robię.. Nie wierzę już w siebie. Mam dosyć siebie, swojego ciała, swoich chorych myśli.
Przytłacza mnie codzienność.
Jest jedna część mnie, która chce dbać o siebie, ćwiczyć co rano, być na bieżąco z projektami i wykładami.
Ale jest też druga strona. Ta gorsza. Ta która siedzi do późnych godzin nocnych, jak nie do rana. Ta która nie chce wstawać rano, woli leżeć w łóżku, zawinięta w kołdrę i myśleć. Ta, która wylewa łzy nad biurkiem lub w poduszkę tuż przed zaśnięciem. Ta, która funduje mi koszmarne noce, budzenie się i straszne, męczące sny.. Ta, która wmawia mi, że jestem najgorsza, że do niczego się nie nadaje, że nikt mnie nie kocha...
Trzymajcie się.
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st4r34ter · 9 hours ago
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I wanna sleep between a pretty girls thighs like issa neck pillow, eat her out in the morning if she wants or I could just kiss her or read her poetry till she’s awake we can shower together and I’ll make pancakes while she rolls our morning blunt but until then I’ll just keep writing in-depth excerpts of cute queer relationships in my notes app
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st4r34ter · 10 hours ago
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𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘.
I wanna laugh again, smoke and drink the time away with someone I care about. I wanna scream in the rain, cry with someone about everything and nothing all at once. I want to get lost with someone, I wanna get lost in someone, I wanna get lost in myself. I wanna spend hours on the train just going no where and every where and see everyone else do that exact same thing. I wanna walk around at 3 am in the summer like I used to, a black womxn alone in the streets at 3 am sounds like a death wish but all I wish is to live my life to the fullest.The darkness awaiting outside of the street lights were dangerous what if’s I shrug off like dust on my shoulder, I instead focus on how pretty the moon looks and how pretty the city looks at night. Empty just for me the only time this small city has room for all of my abundance, and that’s okay maybe having too much is better than never having enough which is the person I think that I minimize into as the sun rises and the people flood the streets and honestly, thats when I’m more alone. I’m more alone around flooded streets than I was when I was alone on this side walk. I just wanna fall in love with life again.
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sadeyes-stardust · 11 hours ago
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on my notes ♡
you heard her silence 
but you never listened to it
you saw her isolation
but you never looked at it 
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sadeyes-stardust · 11 hours ago
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on my notes ♡
in her solitude, she hoped to find peace and healing. but no one warned that sometimes it is the same path treaded to turbulence and self-agonizing
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ech288 · 12 hours ago
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Why keep fighting? When you just want to just disappear. All you do is think of ways how to keep running away. All you want to be is in a dark place with nothing around you. So you tell yourself your life is finally ending.
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So I don’t cut myself or wanna kill myself so in the most traditional ways I don’t self harm but I think I’ve started realizing lately that there are plenty of other ways to self harm... like not letting myself sleep or not letting myself eat or or not taking my migraine meds or not setting up my Botox appointment even though it’s the one thing keeping my migraines slightly at bay... I’m two weeks overdue on that... guess I gotta start being more honest with myself...
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st4r34ter · 16 hours ago
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Just got done working out ahhh feel so exhilarated so happy to be in recovery after this week is finished I’m gonna bump up the work outs to double the reps and then after a week of that I’m gonna add in morning walks/jog intervals (45 second speed walk 15 second jog) for an hour and then eventually after a month I will do 45 second jog 15 second sprint and yeah :)
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ftwraw · 16 hours ago
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The only thing I’ve spent my entire life actively planning for
is my death
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calorie-deficient · 16 hours ago
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I love dressing up/ cosplaying. If it means I don’t have to be me... I find myself more beautiful, more unique, more fun. I’m sick of seeing myself.
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Me to myself when I cosplay.....
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cocoloco98 · 16 hours ago
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Da ist ein riesengroßer Sturm und er tobt in meiner Brust. Ich mach' das hier nicht, weil's mir Spaß macht, ich tu' das, weil ich muss. Also hör auf so viel zu fragen, ist viel zu viel passiert. Ich hab' bis heute keinen Plan, was ihr alle wollt von mir.
-Sero ,Fliegen
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kohana808 · 17 hours ago
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Why do I feel like I’m just another phase for you.
Why do I feel like you don’t really care anymore.
Why do I feel like your losing love for me.
I don’t want to feel like way I hate it.
Please be better for me. Please save me from my thoughts of you leaving me. Please show me you truly care still.
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