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azullumi · 11 months

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“are we…” ; kazuha, ayato, alhaitham, & tartaglia

details — here on another agenda of listening to songs, reading the lyrics, realizes how it would sound so good on a fic, and boom! slapping it on a character i think would suit it; basically, songs and tropes as some genshin men

characters — alhaitham, ayato, kazuha, tartaglia (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — a sprinkle of angst, some of them are out of character, nothing happy is going on (my life relates to it) ; headcanons/scenario

words — 1558

note — getting back to writing so sorry if this fic seems shitty, i’m trying to get my style back by reading the fics i wrote. also i’ll be mostly writing in lowercase now bcs i’m typing on my phone

waiting ; unrequited love — kazuha (bags by clairo)

“can you see me? i’m waiting for the right time.”

kazuha settles on a boundary between you two, standing close behind it, afraid to take a step and cross. and though he was a man who had no fears and wouldn’t let anything hold him back from attaining what he wants, he was scared of going past the boundary as if he would be treading the path of misery once he chooses to do so.

there is always the urge to touch you, the desire to feel your skin underneath his fingertips and unbeknownst to him, his hand would act on its own—he would reach out, his fingers stopping close to your skin before immediately taking his hand back once the realization of his actions had sunk inside his head: “what is it?” you have asked him upon noticing his actions and he could only shake his head before saying, “there’s something on your hair.”

he has this strong sense of denial whenever he does something for you or says something to you, reasoning the flowers that he gives from time to time as an act of friendship and appreciation or the poetry that he creates with you in mindbut he keeps hidden was just because you were too beautiful to not have your being expressed in words and written in poems—

—and every single day, in each morning that he wakes up, he strongly believes that his feelings for you had already dissipated into thin air as if it never existed in the place but only to see your stupid smile and mesmerizing eyes and having himself fall in love again. oh, the amount of times he convinces and tells himself that he’ll avoid you from then on only to have himself basking in your presence later on: “this is the last time,” he tells himself.

there are only two states he would end up in if he decides to go further the line, without you and with you, and he wasn’t stupid to not know that he’ll only have the former happen to him.

he would rather have you close to him and yearn for you despite being so near than the heartbreak and admiring you afar.

“it’s not like you’re in love with me or anything, right?”

toxic ; unhealthy relationships — alhaitham (cry by cigarettes after sex)

“saying you’d wait for me to stay, i know it hurts you.”

you don’t have a toxic relationship with alhaitham nor did you have a healthy one but instead it was miserable, simply one-sided. however, it wasn’t like that at first, he wasn’t like this at first when you two would decide to start over again and create a fresh new page of your love story only for it to end in the same way.

he was good, was great, was wonderful—was. you don’t even know how it got to this point. how did the gentle and sweet murmurs of love and compliments turn to endless shouting and fights at every chance you two get? alhaitham, despite already having raised his voice at you on several occasions, had never raised his hand at you but nevertheless, it doesn’t make anything less hurtful.

“let’s just stop this, i’m tired,” it was clear, it was obvious that the only solution for this wretchedness was to simply just stop and end everything, to cut yourself off him but it doesn’t seem to happen. alhaitham, who possesses such great knowledge and intelligence to know the answer to nearly every problem, never seems to understand that. moments of begging, of asking for forgiveness, for a chance that you always give him, that you always provide him outright, seemingly served and topped with the syrup of your tears and blood.

he only loves you when he’s about to lose you, you know that. you weren’t blind but perhaps you were dumb with that but he loves you then, right? if he really does love you at those moments, then perhaps he did love you right from the start and he just never realized it—it was an endless cycle of gaslighting and making a fool of yourself, finding the reason and making logic out of his actions and words.

it was hard to lose him, you were too used to his presence always guiding you, helping you, and encouraging you that the moment you lost him, you just never seemed to know anything—like a child that was just taken out of the womb, you knew nothing, even yourself. it was a clear fact that you were nothing without him and without you, he was nothing.

“what happened to us, alhaitham?”

convenience ; arranged marriage w/ one-sided feelings — ayato (you’re losing me by taylor swift)

“i wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser.”

it was a marriage of convenience—oh, how you hated the word itself. it feels like a painful slap on your face whenever you hear it being used along with the word marriage, one that would leave a burning mark on your skin.

ayato tried to be a good husband, he tried, really. even when he would come home late, he would always have something to give you. despite not having that many conversations and seldomly seeing each other outside the dining room and bedroom, he would still treat you rather kindly and gently, even when you spend most of your nights alone in a bed that was too large for one, you never felt lonely (perhaps you do, you just don’t want to face it because then you’ll realize that your good husband wasn’t good at all); “i apologize, my dear. here, i bought you something on the way back.”

perhaps all of those acts of kindness and sweetness are his way of saying sorry but what’s there to say sorry for even? was it because he failed to arrive for dinner every time or was it just the whole marriage experience overall?

everything was built on convenience, the only time you two would talk to each other is when it’s needed and the conversation you two will have would end rather shortly and the only time he would touch you in a way that makes you feel loved and cherish—making love—is when it’s convenient for him; you were just never a priority, not anything of importance in his life.

what hurts even more is that ayato isn’t even doing any of this because of a boundary that you two had made but rather there was really nothing in between you two, nothing, not even a speck of dust could be found in the distance you two had.

ayato wasn’t even in a state of turmoil, he wasn’t in a position wherein he had to choose something, to sacrifice, to risk something, it’s just that you were there—you were convenient and not because he chose to choose you over anything else. you were easy to woo, easy to hold, easy to fool.

did he really lose you when he never even wanted you to be his in the first place?

“isn’t this convenient for the both of us?”

pleasure ; one-night stand turned to friends w/ benefits— childe/tartaglia (k. by cigarettes after sex)

“we had made love earlier that day with no strings attached, but i could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then.”

it was simply a relationship that was born out of pleasure; created with the foundation of desire, lust, and need. formed in a single night to escape the reality of the misery of your own lives and consistently being nurtured like a seed that was dropped into the soil and naturally taken care of by the rain and sun—it all seemed natural, him inviting you out for dinner, enjoying your time with his stupid jokes and flirty remarks that is luring you to another night of passion just to wake up with a note and a cold bed the next morning.

and there are times you wish to disappear from his life, to stop whatever you two have, and simply just release yourself from his grasp and though he also wishes for the same, childe always holds onto you so tightly as if he never wants you to leave, as if he always want you to stay even if he knows that he’s hurting you, even if you’re just hurting each other; somewhere deep inside his bones, in the crevices of his mind, he doesn’t wish to see you with someone else other than him despite the fact that he wants you to be happy; “stay with me,” he had told you as he kissed and held you.

but childe was a romantic, he always shower you praised in and out of the bed, he was sweet to you; a gentleman with his words and actions. he was lovely, so breathtaking, so poisonous and it wasn’t hard to love him. and he was well-aware of how your gaze seems to linger at him, how there’s something swirling and drowning in the depths of your eyes, and he was well-aware of what it was. and yet, he chooses to ignore it—was it for the good of himself? for you? either way, he can’t have himself falling.

had you known that night with him would end up in this way, you wouldn’t have taken his rough yet gentle hand on that night.

“what’s there for me to stay for?”

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tarotwithavi · 8 months

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Sun in Signs

The Sun sign in astrology represents a person's core identity, ego, and the essence of their character.

Sun in Aries

Sun in Aries individuals have a fiery and dynamic personality that comes with its fair share of strengths and challenges. On the positive side, these people are natural-born leaders, brimming with energy, enthusiasm, and a go-getter attitude. They're not afraid to take risks, and their determination is off the charts. They're adventurous and thrive in competitive situations, often pushing the boundaries to achieve their goals. Their straightforwardness can be refreshing, and they're known for their honesty and authenticity. However, his same boldness can sometimes tip into impatience and impulsivity. They might rush into decisions without considering all the consequences and can have a bit of a short fuse when things don't go their way. Also, they may struggle with listening to others' viewpoints, as their assertiveness can sometimes overshadow empathy.

Song : King's Affirmations by Iniko

Sun in Taurus

People born with the Sun in Taurus are like the dependable rocks of the zodiac. On the positive side, they're known for their unwavering determination and reliability. When they set their sights on a goal, you can bet they'll see it through, no matter how long it takes. They're patient as all get-out, which can be a blessing when others are losing their cool. Taurus folks are also practical and down-to-earth, making them great at handling their finances and building a stable, comfortable life. Taurus has a stubborn streak wider than a bull's back. When they dig in their heels, it's tough to sway them, even if they're heading in the wrong direction. Their love for comfort can make them a bit lazy and resistant to change, causing them to miss out on new opportunities. Plus, their attachment to material possessions can sometimes veer into materialism, making them a bit possessive.

Song : Circus by Britney Spears

Sun in Gemini

Sun in Gemini individuals are like a two-sided coin, always flipping between their challenging and positive traits. On the sunny side, these folks are the life of the party, chatty and sociable, making friends faster than you can say "Gemini." Their curiosity knows no bounds, and they're quick thinkers, always ready with a witty remark or a clever solution to a problem. But, flip that coin, and you'll find their challenging side. Gemini Suns can be scatterbrained, easily bored, and prone to gossip. They might struggle with commitment, flitting from one interest to another like a butterfly. In relationships, their duality can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the day. So, with a Gemini Sun, it's a mixed bag of tricks, but there's never a dull moment when they're around. I have also seen that the sun in Gemini people have a lot of hobbies and things they like to do in their free time.

Song : Clumsy by Fergie

Sun in Cancer

Having the Sun in Cancer means these people are incredibly nurturing and empathetic. Their strong love for family is what makes them amazing. Their intuition and emotional depth make them great listeners and friends, and they often have a deep sense of loyalty and dedication. They're also creative and have a vivid imagination, which can lead to wonderful artistic endeavors and a knack for creating a cozy, inviting atmosphere in their homes. In a nutshell, Sun in Cancer folks bring a whole lot of heart and warmth to the table, even if they have their share of challenges. These individuals can sometimes be a tad too sensitive, wearing their hearts on their sleeves. They're prone to mood swings and may retreat into their shell when faced with criticism or conflict, making communication tricky at times. And their strong attachment to family can sometimes lead to them being overly protective, making it challenging for loved ones to have their own space.

Song : Luna by Iniko

Sun in Leo

Individuals with the Sun in Leo possess a natural magnetic charm and a zest for life that's hard to miss. On the positive side, they exude confidence, which often translates into leadership roles where they excel. Their radiant charisma draws people in, making them wonderful friends and partners. Creativity flows through their veins, making them shine in the performing arts or any field where self-expression is key. However, the challenges lie in their constant need for attention and admiration. This can sometimes be perceived as self-centeredness or arrogance. Their strong-willed nature can border on bossiness, as they prefer to be in control. Striking a balance between their desire for the spotlight and consideration for others' feelings can be their life's ongoing challenge. These people can shine anywhere and anytime.

Song: Me too by Meghan Trainor

Sun in Virgo

People with the Sun in Virgo are like the detail-oriented perfectionists of the zodiac. On the bright side, they're incredibly organized and practical, the type who'll always have a plan. They're reliable, the ones you can count on to get things done right. Their sharp minds make them excellent problem solvers and analytical thinkers. They are really calm and like to observe their surroundings. They pay attention to the nitty-gritty, making them superb at any task that requires precision. However, their quest for perfection can sometimes tip over into nitpicking. They might be a bit too critical, not just of themselves but of others too. They're the kings and queens of worrying, always thinking about what could go wrong. Striking a balance between their high standards and a more relaxed approach to life is their lifelong challenge.

Song : Girls like me don't cry by Thuy

Sun in Libra

These people are all about balance and harmony. On the positive side, they're the peacemakers of the zodiac, always striving to keep things fair and pleasant. They've got an innate sense of justice and are fantastic at seeing both sides of any situation. Plus, they're charming as heck and can charm the socks off just about anyone. They know how to rock every outfit and hairstyle. They love art, beauty, and all things aesthetically pleasing, often having a great sense of style. However, the flip side is their indecisiveness. They can be so focused on avoiding conflict that they sometimes struggle to make decisions, even the small ones. They might also bend over backward to please others, sometimes forgetting their own needs. They might struggle with expectations. They act how they're expected to rather than being their own self. Sometimes they might come off as "Fake" according to some people.

Song: Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara

Sun in Scorpio

Sun in Scorpio people are a real enigma, let me tell you. On the plus side, they've got this intense, magnetic vibe that draws people to them like moths to a flame. They're passionate and fiercely loyal, making them amazing friends and partners. When they set their sights on something, they go all in, and their determination can move mountains. They're like a detective in their own lives, digging deep to uncover hidden truths, which can be a superpower in relationships or any mystery-solving situation. Their intensity can sometimes come off as intimidating or even a bit obsessive. They don't do anything halfway, which can lead to power struggles or jealousy in relationships. They also have severe trust issues. It's all about finding that balance between diving deep and not getting lost in the shadows. They also have a tendency to hide things. And they'll rarely ever invite you to their place.

Song : Heathens by Twenty one Pilots

Sun in Sagittarius

People with the Sun in Sagittarius are like adventurers of the zodiac. They're all about exploration and expansion. On the positive side, they're enthusiastic, optimistic, and love a good adventure. They have a thirst for knowledge and are always eager to learn something new. Their sense of humor is infectious, and they're great at lifting spirits. They can sometimes become restless or overly blunt in their honesty. They can sometimes seem tactless because they value truth over sugarcoating. Commitment can also be a bit tricky for them, as they often crave freedom and don't like feeling tied down. So, they're a bundle of fun and adventure, but sometimes they need a little grounding. They have a hard time taking orders from people. They are the type of people who'll Quit their 9 to 5 job and start their own business on a random day because they got bored of their routine. They'll never do something they don't love as a career.

Song : price tag by Jessie J

Sun in Capricorn

People with the Sun in Capricorn are like the ultimate goal-setters and go-getters. On the bright side, they're responsible, practical, and hardworking individuals. They're the ones who'll climb the career ladder with determination and discipline. They've got this natural sense of ambition that's admirable. They're reliable friends and partners, always there when you need them. But they can sometimes come off as too serious or even a tad bit workaholic. Their drive for success might make them seem a bit distant, and they can struggle with letting loose and having fun. They also find it difficult to talk about their feelings. And they'll always prioritise their career/job/profession over anything else. They have mad respect for their work and do it with full determination.

Song : High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco

Sun in Aquarius

People with the Sun in Aquarius are a unique breed. On the upside, they're the free spirits of the zodiac, always marching to the beat of their own drum. They're innovative thinkers, often ahead of their time, and they love shaking things up with their progressive ideas. They are also humanitarian.These are the friends you want for stimulating conversations and brainstorming sessions. They're super open-minded and accepting of others' quirks. They can sometimes come off as aloof or emotionally detached. They value their independence fiercely, sometimes to the point of seeming distant. They might even be seen as a bit rebellious, challenging the status quo just for the fun of it. However I have also seen people dislike them for no apparent reason. Maybe it's because they are so different and others have a hard time understanding them.

Song : Yosemite by Iniko

Sun in Pisces

People with the Sun in Pisces are like the dreamers of the zodiac. Honestly I think they should be fantasy writers. On the positive side, they're incredibly compassionate and empathetic, always willing to lend a listening ear or a helping hand. They have this innate ability to understand the unspoken emotions of others. Their creativity knows no bounds, often channeled into arts, music, or imaginative pursuits. They're like a sponge, soaking up vibes and feelings from their surroundings. But, there's a challenging side too. Their sensitivity can be a double-edged sword, as they easily get overwhelmed by the harsh realities of the world. Sometimes, they might struggle with setting boundaries and end up feeling drained. They find it difficult to live in the "practical World".

Song : Jericho by Iniko

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crystaldivination · 1 year

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𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 .˚

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐞?

Hello beautiful souls and welcome to another intuitive pick a card reading. Today we will be looking at what’s so special about you that makes you drop-dead gorgeous. I hope to be able to bring you some delight feelings and contentment with this reading. It’s quite long so as always please let me know if this resonates with you in some way. I’d be happy to know if you enjoy my works. Likes, reblogs, comments and follows are highly appreciated. Thank you ♡︎

✰ masterlist • paid services • tips & donation

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each piles separately. Which pile sparks an interest in you? Which pile do you feel called out to the most or reminds you of something? Take your time and come back later to it again if you can't seem to choose.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄.

La feminine mystique

Hello pile 1,

you’re so powerful. Let me tell you what I mean by that. You possess an enormous energy in you which seems to have no limit. This can be an extremely powerful force that can benefit you in the long run if you know how to use it wisely and it seems like you do. Other people often feel "intimidated" by you. They feel compelled to respect you and treat you with dignity. You attract attention without meaning to. For some of you this confidence may stem from what you’ve been through in your past. Your experiences shape and form you to be the person you are now and you know it. That’s why you’re proud of yourself, proud of the strength you’ve gained from your pain and always carry yourself with pride. You don’t let others step on your boundaries and your well-established values. Other people can sense and see this attitude coming from you even if you don’t openly express this directly. You make a statement with your presence. You subconsciously challenge other people as well especially men. You radiate an energy that’s just as bright and powerful as the sun or hot and passionate as Mars or dangerous and brooding like Pluto. You don’t sit around waiting for a prince on a white horse to come to your rescue, you dive into the challenges and face them head one. You stand up and get things done and you do it YOUR WAY. You don’t give in to anyone even if it means to hurt someone’s feelings if you truly believe in something firmly. You’re daring and sassy. You’re words might be harsh sometimes but the truth hurts so for you your bluntness just simply means that "It’s better to get hurt by the truth than to hear sugarcoating false lies". That quality of yours makes you admirable in the eyes of many although for people who is more on the traditional side (referring to the fixed gender roles of masculinity and femininity) they could see you as being too intense, overwhelming or over empowering but that’s okay because you’re not here to please or fit anyone. You know your worth and you’re not afraid to face any criticism because that’s part of life. You’re familiar with that but you couldn’t care less for you’re the one who create your own reality.

To conclude what makes you so special is your renowned sense of self and self-confidence. You believe 100% in yourself. You know what you want and know how to get that bag. You’re just a girl boss and most importantly you’re priceless. You don’t give away too much from yourself yet enough to show who you are. You represent real womanhood and stand for feminism. You’re the mysterious femme fatale who’s giving everyone weak knees. It’s giving successful business woman/entrepreneur vibe. You’re such a win overall.

[Astrology placements] Leo, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Virgo, Pluto-mercury, Pluto-ascendant, Mars-asc/mc, Pluto/Mars/Neptune dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑

A supernova

Hello pile 2,

you’re well-liked for a reason. You’re charming and always outrank others with your tenderness. Your kind demeanor and attitude just make others mesmerized by you. You put others above you and never seem to really want the "prize" of being the best everyone is looking for. You surpass all superficiality of this world. Jealousy, competition or intentionally stepping on others to get to where we want is not a solution for you. You dislike that. You believe in a peaceful and harmonious world. Hostile, judgmental attitudes create a negative, pessimistic picture of the world we live in so you choose to be kind and fair. You see that relying on one’s ego and be full of greediness won’t do anyone any good. People really notice this difference in you hence most might see you as superior to others. You’re so empathetic that people can’t help but want to protect you. You’re very balanced in your way. You care for others but never forget about your own needs. You’re always so put together and professional when dealing with other yet you can relate and connect with them on a personal or emotional level as well. You just have a knack for being sociable. You’re diplomatic and gentle. Others might view you as a soft or even obedient kind of individual but you know when to stand up. For yourself and for others. This makes you admirable and respected by anyone. You very much stand for justice and righteousness. You believe everyone is the same regardless their race, status or anything society would judge a person by. You’re definitely a pacifist. People love you and most importantly they believe you. They believe in you and your power to change the world FOR THE BETTER. A world where everyone can live in peace with each other, where there is no useless competition or harmful intentions. Your picture of a beautiful place where one live harmoniously together and function together as one is a desirable wish for many who believe in togetherness and the collective.

To conclude what makes you so special is your sense of purpose. You call out for a meaning to live and exist in this world. You impress other people with your vision of a world filled with love. Love for oneself and others by being kind. And indeed people who are truly kind have the ultimate leverage. If you give without expectation of getting anything in return, you've won. The obvious benefit of being kind, honest, and loving to others is to affect positively those around us. If you respond with kindness, all the hate will be defused. You only force yourself to be bigger than the negativity. If given the choice, most of us would prefer to be in the presence of a person with a humble spirit and YOU are one. Your energy and vibe reminds me of Marilyn Monroe’s.

[Astrology placements] pisces, cancer, libra, venus-Pluto, sun-venus, moon-Jupiter, venus/sun/Jupiter dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍.

A rebel

Hello pile 3,

let me start by saying that you’re so innovative. You have the craziest ideas but they are all so forward thinking. People see you as a genius most likely. People might even call you "mad" because of your weird ideas but you probably easily prove to them about it. You’re the definition of an intellectual and knowledgeable individual. What makes you superior to other people is that you know you’re different from them and you embrace this so well. You may be proud in nature but never arrogant. Your easy-going attitude is what attract a lot of suitors. Eyes are being laid on you all the time. You’re the cool and fun sis/bro in the hood. What’s unique about you is that you create or like have a different form of expression and you know how to get your messages across using different amount of mediums or modalities. Your different perspectives makes you incredible interesting in the eyes of other people. Furthermore you’re a very good debater. You have your own visions and you’re all about evoking a revolution, changes and progressiveness. You’re most likely known for being a shock factor. Your purpose might be here to literally disrupt the system that we live in now. It's like actually you don't want to do it the same way it's been done before so you create something completely new. You might see that it’s because our evolution is changing and you feel like you're in a role or a position to bring in new strategies for a good cause. You have your own moral spine. You’re strong enough to rely on yourself and do everything on your own. You don’t need help from anyone yet you’re not scared to ask for help when you need it. It’s very admirable to have this kind of balance in you. You’re not trapped, bound or driven by your own ego. If it serves the intention for a new growth and more developed world you’re ready for everything to make it happen. You’re a warrior. You break the norms and find way to improve society like no one else does and that’s for everyone in it not just a certain percent of people. People see you as a source of inspiration. You walk your own path but never alone.

To conclude what makes you so special is your inventive skills and mind. You stand out from the crowd because you own your uniqueness and new ideas. You don’t shy away if you or your different views aren’t being well-received by others. You stay true to yourself while being understanding of them and accepting their differences and opinions. You just continue to do your own thing. It’s really giving Gen Z vibe.

[Astrology placements] Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Uranus-nn, Saturn-Pluto, Jupiter/Saturn/Uranus dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 ♥︎

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psychelis-new · 9 months

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pick a pile: "Your true colors - (2/7) Orange"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color orange, the second of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

orange is the color of meditation, simplicity, compassion, excitement, joy, adventure, sensuality, pleasure (sacral chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

You are someone stimulating, happy, funny, but somehow you don't always tell everything that's behind that. You should be more vocal about your needs in any area of your life. You should ask for more. If you fear being labeled as needy, that's not the truth: people call you needy when they cannot handle their own needs too or were taught to not ask cause they dealt with people unable to provide/meet their needs as well. We're humans, we all have needs. Don't be afraid to ask. The worst that can happen is getting a "No" but it's nothing you haven't dealt with, right? You can survive that, you can ask for something else and get it instead. And it's fine. Maybe, it'll be even better than what you are asking for, who knows (maybe asking and getting a no will lead you to a different path, a better one even). But you'll know for sure instead of tormenting yourself over a matter without even asking for it. You can also compromise if necessary. And you can also be the one saying "No" and standing your boundaries. Try to be more in touch with yourself, to be more yourself also when you deal with others. To be more true with yourself and your needs too, to accept your needs first and foremost, cause you may pretend you don't actually need help or support when you actually do. Be in touch with that side of you. So don't be scared of being too much for anyone, you're not. You're not too much. Ask back for what you give, balance the energy in you. At times we tend to overdo things, to hide ourselves, to make things more complicated than they really are. And we help creating regrets and resentment as well this way. Be more simple, just ask or talk instead of letting fear and stress take over. You are allowed to ask and talk. Actually, you should. Do not wait for others to ask you or address you something. Not everyone has your same emotional depth or empathy, or can always read your mind, sometimes people just need to hear your words to answer you accordingly and meet your needs (and it's not out of selfishness or cause they hate you, they're just different and dealing with their own things too). Be more in touch with yourself to help them help you too. Meditate more. It will help you deepen your relationships with yourself and others. I think that's something you want, also in love/physical acts, if applies. You can have what you want, just be more simple in your approach to it. Simplify things, simplify your life instead of complicating it by overthinking and worrying (not easy at times but... try maybe). You have already all the answers inside of you, don't be scared to hear them and pour them out. Be your whole beautiful self.

song: fallin' all in you | shawn mendes

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pile 2

You know your complexity, you know your worth and you know you are probably called to leave a footprint somewhere in this world. I think you're not afraid of trying new things, of escalating mountains and generally reaching higher. You also know when it's time to take a timeout for yourself, when you need to focus on something or not. You know when it's time to change, you're pretty much a meditative person. You're kinda brave too. But you're also very giving. And you're higly supported by your Guides and Angels and ancestors too. I think you know about your worth as a spiritual being, about your worth as a soul that brings light into this world but at times you tend to forget that or you happen to have many spiritual awakenings (and tower moments) that may mine your beliefs and self confidence. Reconnect with your body and listen to it. I know it sounds weird cause we're mentioning about spiritual things (we're gonna talk more specifically about this side in another color's reading I hear) but our bodies hold many more answers than we're aware of. For example your body may show you through tiredness how hard your soul is working to change, how much you're changing inside without being aware. Give your body rest when this happens. If you're having specific physical needs, try to meet them. There's nothing wrong. Touch and caress yourself, explore yourself, meditate inside and outside. Don't grow separated from your body (as it may happen when you concentrate too much on your inside world and maybe healing too). Remember to hug yourself and compliment yourself on your look and your abilities everytime you can. Don't let yourself grow thirsty for compliments and accolades, you deserve them, start giving them to yourself anytime you need, anytime you realize you've done something worth of that (and it could even be just getting out of bed on a tough day: it doesn't have to be anything "big", what we consider little things are big too if we put under the right light -see yourself as you'd see a friend). Also never be too harsh on you, look at all you've done: your worth never depends on a single bad day, be lighter. Get closer to you with love. Be more curious about who you are on all levels, especially be more curious about your body, do not separate from it. Again, know and listen to your body and don't be scared of it and what is telling you. Do not keep it at a distance, it's part of you. It always tells you about how you do on a mental level too: bodies can help you let our emotions and feelings out; in fact, if we store them inside without acknowledging them, our bodies will feel that. And they may even start hurting (eg. think about anxiety and how your stomach may feel bloated during an attack). Try to always acknowledge your feelings and what you go through, so to be more positive and of help to yourself. And to others too, if you need. Try to let go of stress as much as you can. And yes, I mean in that way too. Try to balance yourself more between physical and mental/soul state. You're already a blessing for everyone able to meet you, be it for yourself too.

song: back at one | brian mcknight

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pile 3

[it's gonna be a little nsfw -just the topic itself-, so up to you if you want to read it or not: I'm just leaving this here phrased in the most general way cause this reading is for everyone] You may have fears or insecurities revolving around the physical aspects of love. It could be something you don't want to deal with consciously or unconsciously (maybe cause of a trauma/fear of intimacy/self doubts...), or are afraid of cause you're unexperienced (and you may fear others' judgement). I want to remind you that it's up to you if to get there/open that door, and know that side of yours without being scared of it and understand why you're seeing it as "negative"/"dirty" (maybe because of your upbringing) or just plainly avoid that because you don't feel ready (yet/at all, maybe something happened and you need to stay away from it, that's fine as long as it doesn't hurt you -if it does, seek help please). It's okay. It's only your choice, if the case, also how you wanna experience it, when and why. Do not let anyone tell you what it is about or how you should behave/think about it ever. It's your own personal world until you willingly decide to share it with someone cause you trust them/you feel like or any other reason. Take your time. Do not let anything or anyone rush you into it. Remember that not because your friends (or this person you like) have already experienced something in that area while you haven't, you should feel any less. You're you and you're perfectly fine even if you don't want to deal with that yet/at all (no matter your age: you have time, don't worry you will never get to experience that cause of how others will see you; if someone loves you and craves you they will not care about your experience). You are lovable anyway, however you are and whatever you believe in. And you can love who you want to (this reminder esp. for the lgbtq+ people here feeling caged by others), you can try anything you want to to. Nobody can judge you or your decisions/choices or story. Just take time to know yourself, whenever you'll feel like. You're a very funny, joyful, giving, gentle and also adventurous person and it's beautiful to be with you, to spend time with you not just as lovers. You don't have to change anything unless you really feel that need (but not to please anyone else). And remember to always change at your own pace and for yourself. You can choose which kind of adventures to sail on and when/how. If someone wants to rush you into something and kinda triggers you or wants you to choose fast, it's never for your good but only theirs. Never regret saying no and choosing yourself first. Never fear being judged by someone that can wait for you and give you space and helps you, never fear being judged by yourself either (do not pick up others/society's words, they're not you). And remember others judge you only because they project their fears and false beliefs onto you, they aren't judging the real you (they can't). Let them talk and move to someone better. Move back to yourself. Lastly (not sure for who, but it came up...): never compare to those movies/actresses/actors/models, those are just society's expectations or movies indeed. IRL all is different. You're hot as you are for any lover of yours. Believe in your power, it's all about confidence in yourself (even pretended until you really believe it): that's the only trick you need to know as you're already perfect. Take a breath.

song: sometimes | ariana grande

#pac #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a card readings #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a card #divination #clairs readings #free tarot reading #tarot readings #intuitive readings #psychic readings #pac reading

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yourmoonie · 3 months

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SELF-CONFIDENCE 101

7 things you can do to boost your confidence

1. Stand against your fears 🌸

Your fears exist within you, and they have no actual power over you without your consent. Understand the beliefs behind those fears and eliminate the roots by working on your self-concept. Self-concept is the concept you hold about yourself.

Be gentle with yourself, and don't be afraid to reach out for help if you think you need one

2. Dress nice and comfy 🎀

Psychologically speaking, appearance can have a huge impact on your mood and how people perceive you. There is this saying in my native language that goes like "People greet you with looking at your clothes and say bye looking at your intellect"

Make sure you set your boundaries straight even energetically.

If you look/dress nicely, you will automatically feel confident.

Don't let the clothes wear you, WEAR THEM instead

3. Body language 🧝‍♀️

Having the right posture can make you feel confident.

You can get to know your body in front of the mirror too

Go ahead and have fun

Everyone on the outside is your servant, your slave, ready and able to do your will. - Neville Goddard

4. Get physically active 🏃

Moving your body/working out releases neurotransmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and acetylcholine, reducing anxiety and depression.

Take care of yourself both physically and mentally

5. Commit to yourself 1st 👑

If you want to feel confident, focus on YOUR OWN talents and hobbies.

You are YOU, and that's why nobody can become YOU.

Commit to yourself and to your hobbies because at the end of the day you are your own source of happiness

6. Stop trying to fit in 🌙

Don't try to match the room's energy, INFLUENCE IT

It's not your business what other people think about you

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF? And what do you think about them?

7. Imagination creates reality / Self-concept 🧚‍♀️

See yourself as the most successful person in your reality. Put yourself in your best form

How do you look?

How do you talk?

How do you walk?

Answer to these questions, and you will automatically enter your desired state

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forestdeath1 · 13 days

Note

What traits do you think Sirius is attracted to? Like what would his ideal type be like?

(don't be afraid to go into extensive detail about it 🩷)

His ideal type... James.

Actually, it might not seem obvious, but for Sirius, it's important that people accept him for who he is. He might not realise it, but that's the filter for whether he'll have close relationships with someone. Showing complete acceptance of him as a person, without trying to change him, and genuinely loving him for who he is – that's the first thing that needs to be in a person. Otherwise, Sirius just won't open up. So, it's either full acceptance and liking Sirius just the way he is, or à la poubelle (And this is despite his deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and the desire to be useful)

The second crucial condition is that the partner must earn Sirius's respect. RESPECT. Sirius must want to respect them. See them as an equal partner, no less.

Despite Sirius showing care for those he loves, I don't think he'd be attracted to someone who needs to be protected all the time. Sirius cares for the weak (like animals) and those under his protection (like Harry), but his understanding of caring for Harry is specific—it's not motherly care like Molly's, it's about providing resources and opportunities for him to become stronger and overcome challenges. Sirius has a deep-rooted aversion to human weakness in general (this isn't the case with animals because they genuinely depend on humans, but in Sirius's view, humans always have the potential for action rather than just having pity parties. It's a deep respect for the concept of being Human, for their ability to make choices and their potential. He believes that Humans are capable creatures, and it's only individuals choose to give up their agency, which diminishes the very idea of being Human. This is a pretty tough and harsh view of the world, but you can see it in him right from his first appearance in PoA.)

I see two types that could attract him (of any gender), one he'd simply get along with and spend a lot of time with, and the other who could be with him for the long haul.

The first type is easy-going, cheerful, able to handle his mood swings, finds his humour amusing, and can pull him out of the occasional melancholy he falls into. Someone interested in many things, active, and an engaging conversationalist. They don't create drama or get overly emotional if Sirius does something "wrong". This person can easily and flexibly navigate Sirius's boundaries just by being themselves. They're open-minded and free from stereotypes and limitations. They don't take offence at Sirius's jokes and humour; they take everything lightly. In general, they're airy, flexible, confident, attention-grabbing, bright, cheerful, and not overly concerned with questions of morality and correctness, but fundamentally a good person.

The second type is someone quite tough and strong. Also not inclined to drama or hashing out relationships, but with very firm boundaries. If they have a quarrel, it's a real fight, not just shouting. Sirius is definitely drawn to strength in another person, and there's potential here for serious relationships and to hook Sirius for years. This person is a bit edgy, and there should be something dark about them? I don't know how to explain it correctly, they shouldn't be evil or morally wrong, but they're definitely not a soft, tender flower. Very independent. They won't sigh over Sirius and won't look at him with puppy-dog eyes, but they'll definitely express their desire passionately. They're equals in everything, or maybe even better at something. Perhaps this person should have some unusual interests. Very passionate. Very. They have an animalistic sexuality. Sirius is more submissive in these relationships. And they might not be exclusive and could date others simultaneously, but they'll always come back to each other.

And the third type–James.

Well, alright, there might also be a fourth type, someone calm, thoughtful, perhaps with some challenges in life and difficulties that they faces stoically and without complaint, etc etc etc, but I'm tired of writing, sorry. I'd love to read your versions!

#sirius black #sirius black meta #the marauders

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weyounthevorta · 6 months

Text

EDIT: Check out the newer version here, which has juicy new spicy content and two new characters (Harriman Gray and the Captain)

I saw something similar posted by @undeadgayboynes and was inspired to create my own. Which Combs character would you date?

Thy’lek Shran (Star Trek Enterprise)

‪Pros: Strong sense of justice, good at what he does, sexy, energetic. He’ll fight for what’s right and he’ll protect you with his life. He has a soft side and he’s not afraid to show it.‬

Cons: Hotheaded, a bit rash.

Anton Mordrid (Doctor Mordrid)

Pros: Fights evil, lives a quiet life. Financially stable. Has a romantic streak. Is an all around sweet guy who will bring you breakfast in bed and read to you. He teaches you wizardry.

Cons: Absolutely tragic sense of style.

Chaz (Dead Man Walking)

Pros: Is objectively very cute. He’d risk his life for yours without question. He works past his fear to achieve his goals. No doubt a snuggler big on showing affection.

Cons: Is a bit whiney, possibly has the plague. Tragic taste in nicknames.

Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)

Pros: Brilliant scientist and inventor. Submissive and sweet. Romance with him would be chaste and old fashioned. He’d do his best to keep you safe. Cute little guy in a big sweater.

Cons: Sexually repressed. A bad luck magnet. Despite his best efforts, trouble finds him.

Andrew Paris (Phantom Empire)

Pros: Strong sex appeal. Wears the tightest pants in existence. He wouldn’t object to spontaneous adventures. A relationship with him would be impulsive and quirky.

Cons: Any girl who flirts with him is a legit threat. He’s a slutty, wanton little strumpet.

Bill Knight (Felony)

Pros: Handsome, charismatic crime fighter. Eager to hop in bed with you if you show a smidgeon of kindness toward him. He whimpers very prettily. He’s quick and agile.

Cons: He is a total hazard. You’re in the line of fire if you hang with him. He may break into your house. He’s flown through an absurd number of windows.

D-Day (Fortress)

Pros: Adorable, good with machines. There’s kindness in him. He will risk his life for his friends. A relationship with him would consist of tentative, shy, and guarded advances.

Cons: He is easily led into dangerous situations. He needs a dentist. Hes in jail.

Weyoun (Star Trek Deep Space 9)

Pros: Ethereal. Obscenely sexy. Knows what he wants and how to get it. If he chooses to be devoted to you, he’ll be loyal unto death. Loves to have fun, and loves to tease. Kinky.

Cons: Religious nut. Can’t appreciate art, food, and many simple pleasures. Manipulative.

John Reilly (Castle Freak)

Pros: Handsome DILF. He wants to improve his life. Repentant of his sins, affectionate.

Cons: Touch starved, desperate, directionless, alcoholic, and when he falls off the wagon he falls all the way off. He also comes from a family of lunatics so there’s that.

James Wilkins (Hunter S07E13)

Pros: Sensual as fuck. Life with him would be a roller coaster ride of sex and danger. Tattoos, leather, fast cars, and he can’t keep his hands off you.

Cons: He’s a thief and a murderer. He’s attracted to women more dangerous than he is.

Milton Dammers (The Frighteners)

Pros: Once upon a time he was probably a sweet guy. He wants to rid the world of evil so desperately that he’s sacrificed his own sanity to do it.

Cons: He’s a broken man. He’s completely lost his grip on reality. He’s scarred, scared, troubled, and no you can’t fix him.

Herbert West (Reanimator)

Pros: Definitely handsome. On some level he wants to do something great for humankind. He’s capable of affection in his own bizzare way. Life with him would certainly never be dull. Despite his abrasiveness he’s got an undeniable magnetism.

Cons: Morals? Never heard of ‘em. Healthy boundaries are a non starter. His definition of intimacy likely won’t be aligned with yours. He will latch onto you like the codependent, murderous, evil little gremlin he is until one or both of you is dead or in jail.

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tangledinink · 6 months

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Heya! First off I’m around halfway through teenage mutant what now and it is the funniest fic I have ever read - Beautifully written and overall brilliant but the jokes get me every time

And second, is it okay if I reference a pose from one of your gemini artworks for my own work? I’ll credit the inspiration if I post it anywhere ^^

whew we're overdue for an ask dump,,, OKAY ALRIGHT.

THANK YOU ; w ; I'm really glad you like it hehehehe. also yeah sure feel free! I don't mind! ^^

HEHEHE THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU

oh he DEFINITELY freaked out at first. there was a lot of panicking and confusion and "how could this even happen?!" ("you think i'd genetically engineer a creature that's not capable of reproducing? all of you should be genetically compatible with practically any yokai," draxum said. "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO, I DUNNO, TELL US THAT?!" donnie said.) but eventually, he did calm down, and he and his partner talked about it (a bunch, multiple times), and eventually some of the panic gave way to... curiosity, first of all... and then maybe kind of excitement? and some fondness? i mean, he was still pretty scared, and sure, he doesn't really consider himself a 'kid' person, but it's not like he never thought about EVENTUALLY having kids, just maybe... not so soon? but. i mean.

well. if they're already cooking...

THANK YOU ; w ; i'm glad you like them! @kiwi-smug-silvalina

oh gosh, that's a good question. i'm not entirely sure... uhmmm... i would say perhaps... details about how gemini!donnie's witchcraft looks and acts, VS how venus's witchcraft looks and acts...

it is very shiny. i like that people call it "the bean" instead of its actual title coz it pisses anish kapoor off.

ah ; w ; THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, thats so sweet and this made me very happy,,, <3 im glad you liked it!!!! @allegedllama

HEHEHE thank you. yes im aware that i am deranged.

omg same hat!!! i was a lifeguard and it was.... uh.... INTERESTING to say the least... (sometimes lovely, sometimes AWFUL...) @datfearlesschick

if by games you mean 'messed up deals that she can manipulate to her own advantage,' then yes! @frogonamelon

@beannary @spectralsleuth @heckitall @livsinpjs and the sep council as a whole!!! y'all's support has definitely meant so much and there's no way i'd have gotten as far with any of my projects as i have without them... or without literally ANY of the people who take the time to do things like reblog with tags, leave commentary in the tags, send in asks about my stories, etc etc etc! that's definitely one of my main motivators to create more!!! <3 thank y'all!

EEEE this made me smile, hehehehe. thank you :3c @thejavavoid

AAAAAA THANK YOU THIS GENUINELY MADE ME SO HAPPY COZ I WAS SO GODDAMN PROUD OF THOSE HANDS AND HOW THEY CAME OUT ; w ; THANK YOU @onejellyfishplease

thank you!!! u w u @fanrulerjynx

THANK YOU ; w ; I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS,,, it made me very very very happy and HEHEHE IM GLAD YOU LIKE YASSIFIED DRAXUM,,, i just think he DESERVES it, y'know? also thats just my favorite way to draw characters lmao I think it's fun so I decided for this comic I just get to indulge...

not necessarily-- this was mostly just a coincidence! @breezehurricane

oh gosh. i'm not sure, but i know it definitely WILL affect their parenting... i think at first donnie will find himself just... deferring to his partner a LOT in almost any situation because he's afraid that he'll fuck it up, because he DOESN'T feel like he understands proper boundaries or what parenting is supposed to look like, etc etc etc, and he's afraid he'll mess up. he probably reads a TON of parenting books as well because RESEARCH and will often try to pull directly from them in any situation he can, and is confused when things don't go exactly the way they were described in the text... leo i think kind of tends to flounder between being overprotective and feeling the desire to protect his son from everything and anything and wanting to overcorrect this tendency by pulling back and trying to give him as much freedom and space as possible, which sometimes leads to some... inconsistencies. there's definitely a learning curve for both of them, but they both get the hang of it eventually. they both have lovely partners and a very loving and supportive family to help them and they'll figure it out with a bit of practice.

ahhh thank you! :D im so delighted that my silly stories actually inspired something for you!!! hell yeah!!! MAKING THINGS IS GREAT!!! THANK YOU!!! @can-elope

i like to imagine them all staying very close, especially coz i'm loosely planning on them all going through the kraang-apocalypse together (and then coming through to the other side!) so i can't imagine them ever drifting too far from each other, emotionally or geographically. there's a bit of a rocky start for a lot of them, but all of the siblings end up a very tight-knit bunch.

#asks #ask dump #anon

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thelunarfairy · 7 months

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Do you think that tsukasa's kiss to yashiro broke the contract between her and hanako ? He even said that on she would be his assistant is this reason for Hanako's helplessness and crying 😭😭 please any theories 😞😞😞🥺

Oh, it looks like Tsukasa made a lot of people think about that XD

I believe the bond between them has not broken.

Firstly because Yashiro still has mermaid scales, we saw when she woke up on the boundary of number 1

Secondly, the mermaid bond is a strong bond and I imagine it wouldn't break like that without any other supernatural contract involved.

What do I mean by "supernatural contract?" Hanako and Yashiro created this bond because she ingested the scale, he said he was going to ingest it too to share the curse with her in exchange for something (her physical work) so they make the contract when she accepts and he swallows the scale. You already know that. The bond between them is not only in this connection with the mermaid, but it is also with her wish. She wished to become human again, and the price of her wish is for her to be his assistant, so a supernatural contract.

Tsukasa creates bonds by granting wishes too, but Yashiro didn't wish him anything. He just appeared suddenly and kissed her. This does not appear to have been a contract.

If he made contracts with kisses he would have to kiss Sakura to make a contract with her too if that were the case, and we know that didn't happen because he tells Sakura that he heard that kisses taste like lemons. Meaning that Tsukasa never kissed anyone before, he had his first kiss with Yashiro.

The way I interpreted it was that he wanted her to act towards him like she acts towards Hanako.

Nene is Hanako's assistant, so he asks her to take off the yorishiros and she does. Tsukasa needs her to get yorishiro out of number 1, and he knows Hanako doesn't want that (Tsukasa himself says this to his face XD)

Then he tells Yashiro that she is now his assistant and expects her to do the same as she did with Hanako. Take out the yorishiros for him.

Hanako cried like that because he's jealous, he's very jealous, you saw how he reacts to small things, he broke into a cold sweat when Mitsuba said he and Nene were on a date.

So when he actually saw another boy kissing the girl he likes and kidnapped her (considering that he is also afraid of what Tsukasa might do to her) he reacted that way.

So I don't think their bond is broken here.

I could be wrong, but this is my interpretation.

I'm making a post about the three of them, Amane, Tsukasa and Yashiro and the relationship between them, keep following me and I'll post it soon. :3

I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask!

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madamtrashbat · 7 months

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I was chatting with a friend recently about the ways antis operate and how damaging their ideology is and I wanted to organize my thoughts about it.

It's one thing to be like "I wish minors wouldn't interact with my work because it's got adult content" (which is not something you can 100% control short of paywalling) but it's another thing ENTIRELY to be like "minors should never look at anything sexual ever and people who think it's okay that they do are secret pedophiles."

Teenagers need to have the safe space to explore their sexuality and figure their shit out and sometimes that place is fandom. Sometimes teens are trying to deal with the fantasies they have about their hot history teacher so they consume teacher/student smut in order to work it out. Sometimes they're wondering what gives them their jollies and are just reading whatever they can to wank to, including incest and rape and other "unsavory" things just so they can get it all figured out.

Sometimes awful things have happened to teens and they're using the avenue of art and fiction to take the power back from their rapist and create a narrative they control where they are working through it safely.

And antis would see all of this and want it fucking destroyed.

I was brought up in fandom by a few of the sweetest older women (adult women!) who took me under their wings and showed me that what I was thinking and writing wasn't bad or wrong or shameful and it was all perfectly sane to have these sexual feelings because nothing makes sense when you're a kid and if you want to write Frerard where Gerard is the hot teacher to Frank's catholic schoolboy in order to deal with your feelings about the sexy sub you just got at your school then that's totally fine.

These trusted adults also comforted me when I was afraid, taught me what boundaries were (please do not actually pursue the sub!), told me what were normal interactions and what I should be wary of (do NOT let the sub pursue you), and they were proud of me as I made my way into the world as a reasonably well-adjusted adult.

(Hi, Gaja, can't wait for your Christmas card!)

Sexuality is weird and messy and whatever makes our pants tighter is all individual and equally weird. Telling teenagers to not seek out porn and to not even speak to adults is just a one-way ticket to growing fucked-up people who don't know how to operate without shame and then we have a resurgence in Catholicism and NOBODY needs that.

And the way that antis rally against this, like teenagers are Pure and Sweet Babies who are being corrupted by the Awful Adults Like Me (who are secretly child diddlers obviously) is just. So fucking damaging.

Imagine trying to handle the way your hormones are firing off at everything and you're just not sure what's going on and instead of a kind adult going "hey we were all freaks at 16 and it's totally normal to be like 'this strange thing is turning me on' I promise" you have some sniveling puritan asshole going "YOU ARE ACTUALLY A SEXUAL PREDATOR IF YOU LIKE THESE THINGS AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED AND PUNISHED BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HARM PEOPLE."

Like. Y'all. I have seen antis claim that people who wrote about/drew rape in order to deal with their own assaults DESERVED IT because they chose to deal with it in this way. I have seen antis tell people they hope they get raped for the fiction they create. They wish death and harm against people who make fiction. Antis literally have a body count over this shit. And yet they want me to believe they're the good guys? Bye.

Antis will argue that it's not normal for people to think about gross and icky things. I argue that Holocaust survivors had sexual fantasies about actual fucking jackboot Nazis.

No one says you have to like everything everyone else does. We have a robust tagging system for a reason. But to behave as if what YOU like is the only thing that is acceptable and everything else is Bad and Wrong is not the business. Kink Tomato exists for a reason. We are all individuals who like different things. Get with it.

Teenagers are in a precarious time of development and if you want to shame them for whatever is going on in their heads then you are the problem, not the solution. Be the kind of adult you needed as a teenager, not some shaming, screaming Puritan trying to pin scarlet A's onto everything because it's sinful. Goody Proctor is just trying to rub one out in peace.

Get with the way fandom has always operated or go away. ACAB means fancop, too.

#discourse #long post

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oofcat2112 · 5 months

Text

reality is the freckles on your face and the feathers on my dress (Vertin/Schneider)

Schneider understands the gesture perfectly. A heavy anchor buried in the soil that prevents them from flying away. She looks back up and counts her lord’s freckles again.

Schneider has a way to keep herself grounded in reality.

***

One, two, three, four, five-

“Does chicken sound okay for dinner to you?”

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten-

“Schneider? Are you counting them again?”

Oh. Schneider stops her counting. Whoops, looks like she's been caught again. Her lord is pouting now. How adorable. The girl in the red feather dress shrugs but her lips curl into a mischievous smile as she places her elbows on top of the counter. “My apologies.”

Vertin sighs. “Does it count as one if you're going to do it again?”

Schneider lets out a soft laugh. “Not quite my fault, they're much too cute to resist.”

The Timekeeper blushes red and shifts her gaze to look at the surface of the kitchen counter. Adorable. An expression from the usually stoic Timekeeper that's purely reserved for Schneider’s eyes.

This time, Schneider can't help herself as she slides off her spot and settles close to Vertin, the top of her head nuzzling the white-haired girl’s neck. A moment later, she feels Vertin’s hand finding hers just under the counter. It feels warm.

“I don't understand what's so fun about it though,” Vertin says, her free hand coming up to gently brush against her freckled skin.

Schneider hums in contemplation. She's had an answer ready for months now. A perfect, simple answer that does what it needs to satiate one’s curiosity without revealing too much. As much as Schneider trusted Vertin with her body and soul, this one secret is one she doesn't dare reveal.

The more you keep your wish a secret, the more likely it is to come true.

Her wish is silly, ridiculous, and maybe even stupid but she keeps it close to her heart. Besides, no wish is truly stupid when it comes to her beloved Vertin.

***

She doesn’t quite remember when it began. Perhaps that moment when the storm ravaged the air surrounding them, as she felt the otherworldly rain droplets flying up from the ground beneath her feet, as she felt herself fading away with Vertin’s distraught expression above her. Schneider had smiled then, her heart had felt joy. Joy over Vertin’s eyes being the last thing she saw and her promise being the last thing she heard. But, another part of her felt lonely, guilty, angered. She did her best to keep them hidden as she wanted her smile to be what Vertin saw, not her pain. Then by some miracle from the universe, they were reunited. It had been a rare blessing as the universe is so rarely kind to someone like her and her bloodied hands.

The first few months were hard. It was hard to find balance, it was hard to get used to everything, it was hard to find proper boundaries and limits. When you’ve spent your entire life seeing black and red flags, green feels unnatural, wrong, odd. Vertin had been afraid to let Schneider out of her sight, terrified of her disappearing again and Schneider had been paranoid that this was all just some sick dream meant to torment her, that the Vertin in front of her was nothing but an alluring illusion in her afterlife. The universe isn’t kind to someone like me so this isn’t real, she thought. There were days in between where she felt like she shouldn’t get close to anything, especially the one she loved so dearly. One touch and it’ll all disperse like dust.

One night, Schneider woke up alone, light rain creating an odd lullaby just outside the walls. The sheets next to her were cold and Vertin had been nowhere in sight. She felt her chest tightening and her breath coming out in pants. It’s all a lie. A dream. Everything around her felt uncomfortable and suffocating, the rain outside sounded like droplets of blood falling onto the cold, hard ground after the fire of her gun. When Vertin entered the room again, glass of water in hand, Schneider thought she was seeing a ghost. Even as her Timekeeper held her close, it still felt so unreal and dream-like. Schneider’s eyes lingered on Vertin’s worried expression.

She always thought that her lord’s little freckles were so cute. They were often hidden under the shadows of her hat, but they were so cute nonetheless. It always made her look just a bit more childish and younger. Oh, have a few disappeared? Or maybe new ones have appeared?

One, two three -

Vertin’s arms were warm.

Four, five, six -

Her words of comfort were lovely.

Seven, eight, nine -

It wasn’t a dream.

***

“Schneider? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Oh. Has she been daydreaming for too long? Vertin must’ve caught the slightly dazed expression on her face. Schneider smiles and squeezes her hand, an assurance. Vertin’s shoulders relax slightly and that is when Schneider catches her lord’s fingers touching the tip of one of the feathers of her dress. She barely feels it and Vertin pulls her touch away quickly soon after.

Schneider understands the gesture perfectly. A heavy anchor buried in the soil that prevents them from flying away. She looks back up and counts her lord’s freckles again. One, two three -

It seems like she’s still here, in her beautiful and very real reality. The warmth around her hand is real, the ghost of the touch lingering on the feathers of her dress is real, Vertin is real.

I’m real too.

“Schneider?”

She couldn’t resist at that point. Her lord is pouting again so how can she not lean forward to press a light kiss against her lips? When she pulls away, her lips curl into a satisfied smile while Vertin’s cheeks grow bright red. Her beautiful reality. One that she will live and be happy in. When time decides to erode her existence like it already did once, she hopes it’s one where she's lived a long life with her beloved at her side.

“It’s fun, my lord.” Schneider grins. “I wouldn’t want them to suddenly get stolen now, would I?”

#vertin/schneider #reverse 1999 #verneider #vertin #schneider reverse 1999 #uploading this here because ao3 is shit and should burn #fanfic #reverse 1999 fanfic

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chvnnie · 2 years

Text

Masterpiece

hwang hyunjin x reader

word count: 5.1k

genre: smut - MINORS DNI

warnings: non idol au, artist hyunjin, mean (like really) dom!hyunjin, sub!reader, pet names: love, baby, beautiful, dirty talk, a dash of degradation, shibari (v poorly detailed - i’m so sorry) so bondage, use of vibrator, slight objectification, multiple orgasms (f receiving), choking, slaps to genitals (2 to be exact), unprotected sex - pls don’t, incorrect use of paint. if i missed anything - PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: hyunjin has the perfect idea to create a masterpiece

a/n: just want to shout out the ever so lovely @cariadchan, who definitely fueled this idea. you are a gem and a wonderful human, so thankful that you always listen to the filth i spill. also, i hope you all enjoy my first fic after a mini hiatus (the concerts and traveling and moving really took a toll on me). i’m so excited to share this fic with y’all!

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents hwang hyunjin as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi, @woahfruity, @isilentprincess

Dating Hyunjin is nothing less than adventure. You lost count of the amount of times you’ve been woken up by him, whisked away on some sort of last minute trip - typically fueled by passion for his craft and too many cups of coffee. Sometimes it’s down the street (“The stars are brighter in this neighborhood.”), sometimes it’s car rides to different cities to see specific buildings or mountains, and on the rare occasion, it’s red eye planes to different countries because he just can’t shake the idea of the Great Wall.

When you moved in together, the adventures became more domestic. You went from waking up to calls to pack a bag, to waking up to the autumn breeze flowing through the open balcony doors. It was one of his preferred places to paint, feet on the top of the stool and knees pulled to his chest as he painted whatever pulled him out of sleep that evening. Sometimes it was five minutes before he was back in bed with you; sometimes he spent hours out there, the morning sun highlighting his light brown hair in a way that made him look otherworldly.

You never really know what to expect with Hyunjin, and quickly learn not to be surprised by what you’re woken up to. Going with the flow of his inspiration proved to work out in your favor, Hyunjin repaying your support in ways that make you swoon just to think about.

“What would I do without you?” Whispers accompanied by soft brushes of his lips, kisses so gentle they’re almost nonexistent. Whatever you did for him, he made sure to repay tenfold. Not that you ever did so for the praise or reward - supporting Hyunjin was simple when loving him was as easy as breathing. You couldn’t even fathom not standing by his side, watching as his eyes fill with wonder before he grabs your hands and drags you along with him.

Hyunjin was never afraid to push boundaries with his art - using mediums that aren’t typical, supports that aren’t normal. That’s what made his art so unique, so exciting - Hyunjin was unpredictable, more than just paint on a blank canvas or charcoal on paper. It was thrilling to see where his mind would go next.

It was the day a black box arrived at your house that you realized how terrifying the thrills could be.

The box was lightweight, making you question if anything was actually inside it. You carefully flipped it, fingers tracing the edges. It was smooth, not a scratch on it as if it was simply placed at your doorstep instead of being handled by multiple people multiple times. The label was handwritten, slanted Japanese detailing both the return and delivery address. Hyunjin’s name were the only words not in Japanese.

Not thinking anything of the strange, black box, you took it upstairs to his studio. Knocking once, you let yourself in, finding your boyfriend huddled over a flat canvas-like tarp. Brown hair held back by a ponytail and headband, he studied the progress he had made before your arrival.

“Hi.” He said lightly, eyes still bouncing between the strokes on the tarp.

“Hi.” You responded, dropping the box on his work table. It didn’t make a sound when it landed. “You got something.”

“Hm?” He hummed, head turning in your direction while his eyes stayed on his project. “What is it?”

As if he could see you, you shrugged. “Not sure. I think it’s from Japan?”

Finally looking at you, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Japan? What-“ When his eyes landed on the box, they widened, an all too familiar excitement sparkling in them. Hyunjin dropped his paintbrush, long legs helping him move quickly to the table. He wiped his paint stained hands on his white shirt before grabbing the box, flipping it the same way you did earlier. Unlike you, however, Hyunjin spent more time studying the box, more time tracing the smooth edges and reading the Japanese characters. It was almost like he was mesmerized by the box itself, no interest as to what could be inside.

“Well?” You asked, tearing his focus away. “What is it?”

His eyes darkened for half a second, and if you hadn’t had been looking at him, you would’ve missed the look that crossed his face that sent chills down your spine. With a blink, the look was gone, normal Hyunjin returning to you. “Nothing. Well. Something. I have this idea that won’t leave.” He said, removing one hand from the box to tap his forehead. “I’ve had it for weeks. It’s been keeping me up, stealing my focus, and now I can finally do something about it.”

The way Hyunjin spoke about the material inside the box piqued your interest more. He was brilliant, the way his mind creates magic without even trying leaves you in awe of him. “What’s the idea?”

Hyunjin paused, jaw clenching as if he had said too much. He typically wasn’t private about his art, especially with you - the sheer number of adventures he took you on to chase inspiration was proof enough. To say his reaction to your question was odd would be an understatement. “I’m not ready to share yet.”

The look he gave you left no room for argument. Meekly, you nod your head, softly agreeing to drop any questions that were bubbling to the surface.

“Actually, would you mind giving me some time alone with this? I need to…plan.” Breaking eye contact, he turned back to the table and dropped the box. You watched him move across the room, dropping into a squat as he dug through a box of mannequin parts. “Lock the door behind you.”

You backed out of the room, willing your body to move at a normal pace so you didn’t seem so alarmed by his sudden change in demeanor. Once the door was shut and locked did you let yourself feel what had been tugging at you since his eyes darkened.

You had thought you learned not to be surprised by Hyunjin, but the eerie feeling he and the box left you with was something you never saw coming.

Thuds of various volumes came from his studio throughout the rest of the evening, some accompanied by a string of low curses. He had only emerged from the room twice; once to grab an energy drink, the other to dig through the shared dresser in the bedroom. A delighted hum left his lips when he was buried in the dresser, quickly concealing whatever he found before retreating to this studio. He refused dinner, telling you he had enough snacks in there to keep the hunger at bay while he worked.

It wasn’t until around midnight that you began to get concerned. Even on the days he got lost in his work, he always found time to break away before you went to sleep, reassuringly kissing you and promising that he would be in bed soon. Most of the time, the promise was empty, but you didn’t mind, so long as he came to say goodnight.

Considering that you could still hear the thuds, it would be awhile before his attention broke.

Robe clutched around your body, you loudly knocked on the studio door. Something fell, followed by more curses and the sound of footsteps before Hyunjin cracked the door open. Red paint streaked his right cheek, some of it crusting on his hair. His brown eyes were blown out, wide awake while the rest of his face screamed exhaustion. “What?” He asked gently, tone laced with slight irritation.

“Just wanted to say goodnight.” You whined softly, reaching towards him. “And wondering when you’ll be in bed.”

The sight of your grabby hands made Hyunjin’s face soften, stepping out of the room briefly to hug you. As soon as his arms wrapped around you, you immediately relaxed, the lingering eerie feeling from earlier practically nonexistent at his touch. He smelled of sweat and paint, a slight burning scent lingering on his button up. It was a combination far too familiar, immediately comforting you.

“Just need a bit longer, then I’ll be there.” He whispered, peppering kisses across your head.

“Come to me soon, okay?” You ask, bunching his shirt up in your hands to keep him close.

“So soon.” Hands cupping your cheeks, he pulled your face out of his chest. When your eyes met, he smiled sweetly, making his tired eyes light. “Don’t wait up, ‘kay?”

Soft “I love you”s were exchanged in the dim hallway before Hyunjin slipped back into his studio, quickly shutting the door to keep his project hidden. From inside the room, you heard him hum a song, light thuds continuing the music they’ve been making all evening. He was out of reach again, the eerie feeling creeping up your spine again now that his touch was gone. You tried shaking it off, swiftly walking to the bedroom and burying yourself in the covers to try and subdue it.

It didn’t help, the feeling only growing stronger the closer you inched towards sleep.

///

The clock read 3:30 when Hyunjin woke you up.

“Love?” He whispered, long fingers brushing back the hair that covered your waking face. “Come on, wake up for me.”

You mumbled his name, leaning into his gentle touch. Butterflies filled your tummy at the feeling of his cold hands on your face, sleepy moans leaving your lips the more he touched you. “Bed time?”

His chuckle was airy, matching the gentle way he continued to touch you. “Not yet. Wanna see what was in the box?”

You had almost forgotten about the box, about how secretive your boyfriend had been with it since it arrived. Your eyes shot open, looking up at Hyunjin. He’s showered since you last saw him; the paint that was on his face gone, hair still damp and pushed back with a headband. A tight black shirt has replaced his paint-stained button up, short gym shorts riding up his muscular thighs. When your eyes meet his, the sparkle in his burning with excitement and pride, it’s obvious that whatever was in that black box helped him accomplish something big.

That was enough to ease the feeling that’s plagued all evening.

Hyunjin helped you out of bed, fingers lacing with yours as he walks you down to his studio. Every step felt like a mile, anticipation bubbling in your chest the closer you got. When the two of you arrived at the closed door, Hyunjin brought the hand he held to his lips, planting a firm kiss on the back of it.

“I love you.” He whispers, then opens the door.

The studio, once cluttered with various art supplies, had been organized since you last stepped in; paints neatly tucked away on wall shelves, canvases piled in corners. The curtains were drawn, which to a stranger would seem normal, but you know how Hyunjin’s brain works. He can’t focus unless he can see the sky, so the fact that the curtains were closed was enough to make you question just what he had in mind.

All the lights were off except for a single lamp, warm yellow spreading across Hyunjin’s work table in the center of the room. The lamp was high enough to not impose on his work, but also to give him a clear view of what his hands were doing. A white cloth was spread across the table, protecting the wood table from the paint he was bound to drop on it. In the center of the table, atop of the white barrier, sat a bundle of black ropes that, at the right angle, sparkled under the light.

Was that it? Was that the secret Hyunjin kept tucked away all evening?

Your body moved before you could fully process what you were looking at. Ropes? Why was he being so weird about ropes? It wasn’t the first time he’s incorporated them into his art; you were recruited more than once to help him tie pieces of his projects together. What was so important about these ropes?

It wasn’t until you touched them, the lightweight material slipping through your fingers, that everything began to click in your head.

Hyunjin’s hands softly gripped your hips, body pressing against yours from behind. “Pretty, right?”

You swallowed, continuing to rub the soft ropes. “What are they for?” The room suddenly felt very cold, your mouth dry as you asked the obvious question.

“To tie you up.”

The ropes slipped from your hands, landing on the table with a light thud as Hyunjin began to kiss your neck. It wasn’t a surprise - you were never surprised when it came to him - but, nevertheless, it set you on edge. Goosebumps covered your skin, stilling at the idea of those smooth ropes against your body.

“I thought it was for a project.” You stated, voice barely above a whisper.

“It is.” His words followed by a nip on your neck, and you had to bite back the whimper that threatened to release. “You’re the project.”

Before you could ask him to clarify, his large palms pushed up your body, bringing your shirt along with them. Stomach exposed to the cold room, Hyunjin’s kisses became more aggressive. More desperate, more demanding.

“I had a dream about you.” One palm kept your shirt up, while the other returned to your hips, pointer finger twisting around the hem of your lace panties. “Bound for me, letting me explore every inch of you between the knotted ropes. God, you looked so pretty, so helpless at my disposal. The way you whimpered under my touch was heavenly. When I woke up, I tried to paint the scene, writing every detail I could remember. That’s when it hit me - why paint you when I could paint you?”

You blinked, trying to process the last few words. It was impossible to think as it was, Hyunjin’s hand sneaking closer to your core not helping anything. “What? Hyunjin-“

In a flash, he spun you around, cornering you between his body and the table. The look he was giving you was the same one you had caught on his face earlier - dark, twisted with the glint of wonder shining through. It was in that moment that the eerie feeling from before came back, this time bringing along an excitement that had your knees buckling together. You were terrified - the look on his face was enough to make you want to break eye contact and hide. But the thrill of his touch in ways you’ve yet to experience overpowered every last drop of fear.

“Let me tie you up.” His voice was low, raspy with a desire that went straight to your core. “I want you bound and pretty for me, a willing canvas to create a masterpiece.”

And though you weren’t sure if your body was trembling with fear or excitement, you nodded your head, a light “okay” leaving your lips. You would never not support Hyunjin in his passion - especially if it included you.

The most genuine, beautiful smile spread across his face, cheeks dimpling as he leaned in and caught your lips. Hands cradling your face, he tilts your head back, allowing his tongue to slip inside with ease. The acidic taste of coffee and chocolate danced across your tongue, distracting you from the movement of hands down to your underwear. Swiftly, your core was exposed, cold air hitting your wet mound and making you shiver. The chill only lasted a second before Hyunjin’s warm fingers were on your clit, teasingly slow circles matching the pace of his tongue.

With a pinch to your sensitive bud, your lips disconnected, head rolling back and hips arching forward. Fingers found the nape of his neck, pulling at his hair as he rolled your clit between his thumb and forefinger.

“Beautiful, beautiful girl.” He mumbled, eyes raking your shaky form. “I can’t wait to paint you.”

Hyunjin slowly released your clit, hands moving upward and removing your shirt. Body now bare, he reached behind you, gathering his supplies to ready you for him.

///

He took his time tying you up

Every time the rope tightened around a different section of your body, he kissed the area between, worshipping you as he worked. You were laying on his work table, Hyunjin hovering over you with a focused look on his face. Only once your wrists were bound and above your head, feet tied to the ends of the table, did he pause his movements.

He studied you from above, long fingers dancing over the knots he had so diligently tied. Your legs were sectioned off into thirds; thighs squeezed into two sections while your calves were one. Rope wrapped around your hips, creating a barrier between the top thigh knots and your stomach, your core exposed to him. Hyunjin had toyed with the idea of a crotch tie, but didn’t like the idea of not having access to you.

Which didn’t make sense to you - wasn’t the purpose of this to paint you? That’s what you thought, until Hyunjin reached under the table and pulled out your favorite bullet vibrator, or rather, his favorite.

This toy was only really used when he requested it; often when he was away or if he wanted to push boundaries in public with you. It was a fine toy - multiple settings and intensities, long battery life, quiet. Nothing too different than the rest of your collection, but what made it special was the bluetooth setting. The app that let Hyunjin have control, even when he wasn’t close by.

After running the vibrator up and down your folds, and adding a drop of his spit for extra lubrication, he worked the small toy inside on you, pressing the power button to leave it on standby. Nothing would happen until Hyunjin made it happen - and that made this whole experience much more nerve racking than you anticipated.

Double checking every knot, pulling on the ropes to make sure you couldn’t escape, he climbed off the table and began to mix paints on his palette. “No matter what happens, stay still for me.” He lifts a paintbrush, the slick orange paint sparkling in the light. Gently, the tip touches your left nipple, brushing down to where the rope sectioned off that breast. “Don’t mess up my art.”

It was much easier said than done; he had just started and the chill of the paint was already tempting you to arch your back. You bit your bottom lip, hissing as Hyunjin slowly moved the brush around the base of your breast. His brushstrokes were always meticulous; he was precise and patient, each stroke just as important as the last. It was something you had always admired as a watcher; his devotion obvious in the obsessive way he works. But now, as the art, you felt your sanity slipping with each stoke.

Hyunjin pulled back to coat the brush with more paint, giving you time to release the breath you were holding. This was only the beginning - how were you going to stay still as he painted your entire body if just one of your breasts was making you so-

A yelp slipped from your lips as the vibrator activated, mildly humming inside your walls. You barely had time to process the new sensation before Hyunjin’s brush was on you again, painting over the skin he missed earlier. Mind fuzzy, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to regulate your breathing. The tickling brush of paint on your breast and the speed of the vibrator that was just fast enough set you on edge. This was absolutely evil, and you’re sure if you looked over at your boyfriend, he would have a smug smile on his face. Teasing you was just too easy.

Once your left breast was completely covered, Hyunjin leaned in, blowing cool air over the paint. Gasping, you couldn’t stop your back from arching this time, erect nipple brushing over his chin.

Oh, no.

Clicking his tongue, one hand found your stomach, shoving your hips flush against the table while the other grabbed the paintbrush, fixing the smudge you made. “What did I just say?” Hyunjin said. His tone was soft, but was laced with a warning that he wouldn’t take much more of this. “Don’t. Move.”

Your lips quivered, whimpering as you apologized. “Sorry, Hyunjin.”

Standing up, Hyunjin put the dirty brush on a cloth and grabbed a new one, dipping it in a pale yellow paint. Orange paint glistened on his chin, eyes bouncing from the palette to your right breast. The tip of his tongue stuck out, slowly licking his bottom lip as he leaned across your body to paint the other breast.

You kept your body as still as you could as he worked, nails digging into your palm anytime you felt the urge to move. Though no easy feat, you made it through the second breast painting. When Hyunjin blew on your skin this time, you used every ounce of strength you had to keep still.

“Good job, baby.” He hummed happily, stretching after being hunched over for long. “You’re behaving so well.”

The praise goes right to your core, only adding to the pleasure of the vibrations. You had almost forgotten the toy was there - so focused on the brushstrokes that the vibrations were the last thing on your mind. But you were quickly reminded as Hyunjin picked up his phone, a wicked smile on his face.

“I’m sure you can handle more, right?”

It was a rhetorical question, an answer not required as he switched the setting to a pulse and upped the speed. You squirmed, trying to force your legs together but were, of course, unsuccessful. Hyunjin’s laugh echoed through the room, the depravity of it making you shake.

“What’s wrong? Too much?”

Wide eyed, you looked up at him, helpless eyes scanning his for an ounce of compassion. There was none to be found. “I-it-Hyunjin-“

“Shhh.” Hyunjin shushed you as he leaned in, lips pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. Wanting more, you nudge your nose up, the tip barely brushing his plump lips before he pulled away. “Good canvases don’t talk.”

With that, he moved on, grabbing a thicker brush and dipping it in maroon paint. You lifted your head up, eyes watering both from his cruel words and the intense sensation between your legs. He was treating you like nothing more than an object, and as much as it broke you, it also sent a wave of arousal through you. You were nothing but a tool for him to work with - and you loved it.

He focused on your right side this time, thick brush tip pressing down on your inner thigh. You gasped as he dragged it up, the bristles dangerously close to your core. His lips quirked up in a smirk, bringing his brush closer to the edge of the barrier. Your chest was rising rapidly, panting as you tried to control yourself. This was getting dangerous - the more Hyunjin’s brush grazed your thigh, the closer your orgasm got. It had been moving by the inch, slowly building up as he worked on you. Now that Hyunjin was focused on your thigh, it was moving by the mile, the speed at which it was building was almost unbelievable.

And if Hyunjin didn’t want you moving, he sure as fuck didn’t want you coming.

The brush flipped in his hand, the handle of it now sweeping over your clit. You tugged at the bindings on your wrists, whimpering as you willed yourself to not cum. You could do it. You could keep it in. You could hold it, if only you could focus-

Then the handle nudged the tip of the vibrator, and you lost all control.

You came with a scream, head hitting the wooden table hard enough to concuss you. Pleasure made your toes curl, tears forming at your waterline as the feeling overwhelmed you. God it was so intense, god it felt so good-

The brush fell from his hand, the sound of paint splattering on the floor making your eyes shoot open. You didn’t have to look down to know what happened - the orgasm ruined his work, paint running down your inner thigh and mixing with your cum as it dripped on the white cloth. Fear coursed through your body as you looked at Hyunjin, shock covering his face as fire began to burn in his eyes.

God, Hyunjin was mad.

The vibrator was ripped out of you, joining the brush on the ground. He was on top of the table in an instant, one hand gripping your throat while the other hit the table beside your head.

“What the fuck-“ his grip tighten, body pressing onto your as he leaned in. “-did I say?”

Whimpering, you shook your head, mouth opening to speak before you snapped it shut, tears breaking free as you stared at him. The last thing you want is to piss him off more.

“I was so patient with you.” Using the grip on your throat to ground himself, his other hand moved to his shorts, shoving them down. “I was so gentle with you. And this? This is how you repay me? By ruining my work?”

You shook your head rapidly, wishing you could explain it to him. It wasn’t your fault; not really. You didn’t ask for the vibrator, that was all his idea. Hyunjin was the one who made you break - you did nothing but lay there and take it like the good canvas you are.

It was only a matter of time before you came, and he should have recognized that.

“I didn’t even get to finish your body. I didn’t even get to use you the way I wanted to. Are you happy? Did it feel good, fucking up my masterpiece?”

When you didn’t answer, his free hand smacked your cunt, a choked cry leaving your throat.

“Fucking answer me.”

“Y-yes.” Your words were barely audible, restricted air supply making it hard to speak. “Yes, it felt good-“

“I hope so, because that’s the last time you get to come for a while.” His hand came down on your core once more, harder than the previous slap, before he rammed his cock deep inside you.

Not a second was spared before Hyunjin pulled out, fucking back into you with an aggression you’ve never felt before. Mad was an understatement - Hyunjin was livid.

He let go of your neck, ripping his shirt off his torso and pressing his chest to yours. Teeth connected with your collarbone as the paint rubbed off onto him, orange and yellow connecting you. It was hard to tell which feeling was more addicting - the slightly painful stretch of your walls as his cock abused you, the burning of the rope around your wrists as you tugged on them, or the texture of the paint mixing with your combined sweat.

This fuck was mindnumbingly good, making you question the intentions of his art. Did he actually want to create a masterpiece?

Regardless of the answer, you were more than happy with this outcome.

He released your collarbone, pushing himself up with a moan as he dove deeper inside of you. The speed at which his hips were snapping was unreal, barely letting you catch your breath before he was hitting your g-spot again. Looking down at where you met, he chuckled when he saw the smeared paint on his chest.

“Not enough.”

How he reached the tubes of paint, you don’t know. One second his hands were caging your bound body in, the next, he was squeezing a tube of pastel pink paint on your chest and stomach. Once that was empty came the second tube - a baby blue - which he coated his hands with. Hyunjin rubbed his hands together, making sure to color every inch of them, before latching onto your throat again and closing the space between your bodies.

The new chill had you reeling all over again, clenching around Hyunjin as he fucked you harder. Chest to chest, his body slid up and down yours, creating a pretty sunset tone on both of you. His hand held your throat gently, squeezing only to hear you gasp every once in a while. It was messy and cold, and every second of it was pure art.

“You look so pretty like this.” Hyunjin whispers the first kind words spoken in hours, hips beginning to slow as his cock twitched inside you. “I knew you’d be the perfect canvas for a masterpiece.”

Before you could respond, his lips collided with yours. His passion was unmatched, kissing you as if this was the last time he would. You cried into the kiss, body submitting to another wave of pleasure as Hyunjin’s hit. Everything was too much - the paint sticking his body to yours, the feeling of his cum filling you up, his sweet moans getting lost in your mouth.

It was too much, and you couldn’t get enough of it.

Hyunjin stilled inside you, crashing against your body as his head rolled into your neck. Stretching up, his blue hands found your bound ones, intertwining and squeezing hard enough to cut off blood supply.

The two of you laid there in the dark studio, you unable to move and him unwilling. Exhaustion washed over you, eyes fluttering shut as you counted his breaths against your neck. You could feel the paint drying, the cracks on your skin bringing you back to reality.

Low grunts left your boyfriend as he pushed himself up, eyes screwed shut as he pulled his softening cock out. He sat up on his knees, head thrown back to gather his breaths. You took the opportunity to study his body - orange, yellow, and pink blending on his god-like chest in the prettiest pattern. Paint highlighted his abs, muscles shining in the light and if you weren’t so tired, you swore you would squirm at the sight.

With a sigh, his eyes opened back up, blinking to adjust to the light. They met yours, the familiar glint of wonder warming your body. A fond smile stretched across his face as he stared at you, no doubt taking in your body just as you did his.

“Well? Is it everything you pictured?” You asked, a playful smiling gracing your lips.

Hyunjin shook his head with a soft laugh, studying the details of his work. “Even better.” A hand found your cheek, smearing blue paint across it. “You really are my masterpiece.”

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