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cozycottagetarot · 3 years

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Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #pac #pac reading #ariesmoontarot

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skylinesnsunshines · 3 years

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skz reading: bang chan ideal type + as a boyfriend

hi friends! today i’m doing a reading for chan’s ideal type and what he’d be like as a boyfriend. you all know the drill, askbox is open so submit requests if you’d like (but please read my rules first) with that being said let’s get into it!

DISCLAIMER: this is all speculative and for entertainment purposes only, so take it with a grain of salt :)

decks used: ethereal visions tarot, archetype cards by caroline myss, heavenly bodies astrology, the wild unknown animal by kim krans

(italicised is the card on the bottom of the tarot deck which is meant to represent the subconscious/blind spot of the situation + rx means reversed)

IDEAL TYPE

temperance, 7 of cups, 3 of swords rx, the chariot | liberator, child:wounded, hyena, house four: cultural and family roots, home, peace and comfort

chris wants someone who’s emotionally balanced and patient as the temperance card talks about doing everything in moderation, due to his libra stellium it’s unsurprising he wants a partner who is his “equal” and able to be calm in whatever situation and i feel he wants his partner to be the type to do actions “for the greater good”. with the 7 of cups, i feel chris doesn’t have a “specific type” he goes for but he does admire certain traits/characteristics of people which tells me he really does fall for someone’s personality and finds beauty in everything/everyone, this card can also describe someone who’s a dreamer and idealistic which tells me that chris likes the “creative types” as these people tend to have lots of ideas. the 3 of swords rx can indicate someone who has gone through difficult situations but has healed/is healing themselves due to their level of forgiveness, since his venus is in scorpio it’s unsurprising to me that he wants to have a really deep bond with someone and this card indicates that he wants someone who he’ll be able to be fully vulnerable with, this card can also indicate someone who’s a peacemaker so with the temperance card i definitely see someone who’s very fair and patient like chan himself. the chariot card is associated with cancer so this tells me the that i feel chan wants someone who resembles him but amplifies his positive traits, this card describes someone who has a very high level of determination and willpower though so underneath all that “fair” and patient energy this is definitely someone who’s a force to be reckoned with, cancer rules the moon and therefore deals with the divine feminine which means that there’s a possibility in his relationship he could want to be “nurtured” since he’s used to being the nurturer, he definitely wants someone who is very emotionally intelligent and is protective of those they care about.

with the liberator card, this tells me chan definitely wants a leader type and someone who people look up to as it talks about someone who frees themselves and others from outmoded beliefs, on the card it illustrates a woman holding a torch so it gives me the vibe that this person is very selfless and is willing to help others before themselves (just like chan himself). child:wounded talks about someone who has a lot of compassion and desire to help those who are wounded especially children, it also talks about someone who is able to forgive themselves and others which reiterates my points made earlier with the 3 of swords rx card. hyena talks about someone who’s very humorous and sarcastic so sense of humour is definitely important for chan’s ideal type, i definitely feel his type of person has a natural knack for communication and their words can uplift people. house four is ruled by cancer so it reiterates the points i made about the cancerian qualities i pointed out earlier, i feel his ideal person is someone who is very attached to their family wether they’d be biological or not, definitely is a lot of people’s “home” and often is described as the “mum/responsible friend”.

AS A BOYFRIEND

6 of swords, death rx, queen of cups, the hanged one | mediator, gossip, turtle, libra: consideration, fairness and harmony

with the 6 of swords i do feel chris goes through a lot of personal transformations especially during relationships (cause of his scorpio venus), he’d definitely be the type to sacrifice himself for “the greater good” and falls extremely hard when he’s found his match, this can also mean that there’s two sides to him and he often keeps the part of himself he’s not proud of “hidden” because he doesn’t want to burden anyone else, i also get the feeling that he sees love as something that’s very transformative and cannot do surface level relationships as his soul craves something that is very intense. the death rx card basically reiterates the points i made earlier as this and the 6 of swords both represent scorpio and scorpio energy is very intense, chris definitely keeps his walls up and often bears his burden alone which is why he wants someone who’s very nurturing as cancerian energy matches very well with scorpio since they are both water signs, chris is only ever vulnerable to a handful of people and this card tells me when he finds someone he feels safe with he’ll let them in his life and be extremely loyal to them, but if they ever had a falling out he will take that very personally and struggle to move on as his scorpio venus can make him extremely attached to people. queen of cups tells he wants a nurturing soul cause he himself is one, since the cups describes emotions and is more of a feminine energy it tells me chris is extremely in tune with his emotions and has very pure intentions, i can definitely see people coming to him and venting as he often listens without judgement and has a high level of empathy. with the hanged one on the bottom, i feel chris could take his time when pursuing someone as this card talks about someone willingly pausing, he’ll take his time cause again he wants to make sure he TRULY likes the person as once he’s involved with someone it’s very hard for him to seperate, i feel he could be a bit quirky when he expresses his love too which is quite cute.

it’s unsurprising we got the mediator card as he is a libra after all, he’s definitely the type to solve problems from an objective point of view and people often go to him for advice as they know he’ll be able to come to an agreement that is fair for everyone, definitely the type of boyfriend to discuss problems rationally and logically. with the gossip card i do feel chan could be pretty talkative with his partner, once he’s comfortable with someone i totally feel he’ll tell them a lot of things and his person would be his human diary so to speak as communication is very important for him since it is an air sign trait. turtle card talks about someone who’s peaceful, grounded, adventurous and an old soul which describes chan to a t, he’s definitely very wise and loves peace which is why everyone listens to what he says as others know whatever he says will be beneficial for everyone. libra card for the libra stellium, chan definitely prioritises consideration, fairness and harmony in relationships and it tells me that he’s incredibly loyal especially to those he loves, i definitely think he’s gonna be quite romantic in relationships and will express his love in various ways but will get shy at times cause he’s easily flustered. overall, he’s definitely a dream boyfriend <3

that is all! if you have any feedback, comments, queries or requests please don’t hesitate to reach out to me my ask box is always open. sending you all love, light, positivity and abundance <3 much love

#channie!!#i always call him chris cause all i hear is Oi FeLiX cMeRe BrO #still so funny how he's from syd lol #tbh his cards don't surprise me cause i already had a feeling he's one of THOSE guys #hes so cute tho truly deserves the best #bang chan #skz tarot reading #skz tarot #skz astrology #stray kids tarot reading #stray kids tarot #stray kids astrology #kpop tarot #kpop tarot reading #kpop readings #kpop predictions #kpop tarot blog #mine

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aphrostarot · 3 years

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Future Self Pick a Pile

What does your future self have to say to you?

Remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Do not try and force it to fit. If you would like a personal reading I am currently offering free readings. Dm me if you are interested!

Pile One (Fuchsite):

Who are you currently?

The Chariot:

You are constantly striving to achieve your dreams. Constantly on the move, never stopping for anything. You are extremely strong-willed and fearless. Despite not yet fulfilling all your dreams, you are confident nonetheless.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Temperance:

Since you are constantly striving for success, you don't have time to strive for happiness. You instead live a life of contentment. This is good. The degrees of happiness fluctuates, but contentment is a state of equilibrium, which means there is less risk of things going wrong. Your future self wants to thank you for this. Your constant state of equilibrium has helped you become who you are meant to be.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Emperor:

Emperors are in charge, and they are surrounded by people who listen to what they have to say. Your future self says that you need to focus on taking charge and being in control. Your future self is showing me that you are in a position of authority and that you should practice being a boss now in order to improve your leadership skills for the future.

Page of Swords:

The Page of Swords is a signal that someone in your life does not have your best interest at heart. They are spying on you in order to feed the people who do not like you. Your future self wants you to pay attention to this, to concentrate on finding out who it is; if you know who it is then you can either try to free yourself from that person or fix the relationship. Note that this person does not have to be literally in your life; they can also be someone who follows you on social media.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

Ten of Pentacles:

From the energy I feel coming from you, I get the impression that you are a person who, yes, keeps moving toward their dreams of success, but you are also always changing what you view as successful. You never stop to realize that who you are right now is who your past self never dreamed you could be. You need to realize that your future self does not recommend this mindset. It's important to slow down and realize what you've accomplished.

Some advice your future self has for you:

Queen of Wands (reversed):

If the Queen of Wands is reversed, it indicates someone who is demanding, vengeful, jealous, selfish, and a bully. In your life, perhaps you know someone like this, and your future self wants you to let this person go since you know deep down that this person isn't healthy for you and shouldn't be in your life, so now's the time to do so. Some of you don't know who this person is, which means that your future self wants you to know that if you don't heed their advice, you will become this person.

Oracle:

Storm:

Every hurricane has an end, says this card. Your future self is telling you that you should maintain your equilibrium and not stress too much about whether you will succeed or not. If anything bad happens in the future, your future self wants you to know that you will get through anything that comes your way.

Shark:

In this card, the message is that you need to get out of this situation quickly. When you hold the mentality that you are constantly striving for success, you will never allow yourself to slow down and realize that where you are now is what your past self could never have imagined.

Pile Two (Amethyst):

Who are you currently?

Eight of Wands:

Currently, you are highly motivated to achieve your goals, and you aren't afraid of change. You are moving through life very quickly. Your motivation comes from your excitement about what lies ahead. Additionally, you may have noticed that your communication has been much better lately than it has been in the past. You're more motivated to write, post on social media, and respond to emails.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Queen of Swords:

This Queen doesn’t let anyone walk all over them and everyone around them knows where they stand with them. Those are the qualities that define you. Being an advocate for yourself and making sure you are treated properly are two of your strengths. Your future self wants to thank you for that.

The Lovers:

Given that you know what kind of treatment you deserve, it makes sense that you love yourself. The most important thing is to love yourself. In your eyes, if no one likes you, then it is okay because you love yourself. Because you give yourself that kind of love, you know what kind of love you deserve. Your future self wants to also thank you for that.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Ace of Cups:

Since you know what kind of love you deserve, you refuse to settle for less which is great, but you have reached a point in your life where you believe no one will ever be what you need, so you have stopped looking. Your future self wants you to start looking again because there is someone out there that will give you the love you deserve. According to the energy I'm receiving from them, you will find someone one day who makes you happy and loves you the way you deserve. They don’t want you to give up on love because you may miss out on this.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

The Sun:

Presently, you think that only you can make yourself happy, and that is not a healthy way to live. Let other people make you happy because that's what your future self wants. It is not necessary for you to be the only one in your life. It is okay to let others in.

The Well:

This goes along with The Sun. Taking care of yourself does not necessarily mean you're the only one doing it. It's okay to let other people into your life. It is okay to let other people care for you.

Some advice your future self has for you:

Eight of Cups:

Your future self wants you to let go of the idea that you only have you in your life and that is how it will always be. They want you to accept others into your life, accept love from others because others can give you the love you deserve it doesn’t have to always be you.

Two of Pentacles:

They want you to have a sense of balance in your life. Although you have been alone for so long and that is what makes you happy, there may still be a part of you that hopes someone will break through your walls and make you happy. The problem is that you never allow anyone into your life, so this never happens. According to your future self, you need to find balance, and the best way to do this is to slowly let people into your life.

Oracle:

Feast:

This card urges you to slow down and enjoy your life. You've been living life so fast and focusing on making yourself happy that you haven't realized how much you have accomplished. You are constantly on the move trying to fill the void that you do not realize how much you have accomplished for yourself. It is important to your future self that you slow down and acknowledge how far you have come.

Escapist:

This card's message is to come home to yourself. You have been running for so long trying to fill your void that you don't even realize where you are now. Take a break from that constant running and recognize that you don't have to fill that void constantly by running, but taking a break can fill it too.

Pile Three (Amazonite):

Who are you currently?

Five of Pentacles:

Currently, you are going through a very dark period. There have been many sudden losses for you, and this has made you very depressed. The last few months have been tough for you and you haven't felt like yourself because of it.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Seven of Swords:

No matter what you've been through in your life, you've never let it stop you. No matter what happens, you continue to fight and stand your ground. As the card of betrayal, you may have had someone in your life who was not healthy for you, they did not treat you the way you deserved. Your future self wants to thank you for being so strong and overcoming all of your struggles.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Knight of Wands:

The card of enthusiasm. Although your future self knows that you have endured a lot in your life, they say that now is not the time to give up hope because you will get through this. Your focus should be on finding enthusiasm for your life again, that's what they want.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

Seven of Wands:

The Seven of Wands is the card of fights. Someone in your life is causing you a lot of drama. You should cut this person out of your life, according to your future self. They say they are not healthy for you and that your life will be much better when they are not around.

Some advice your future self has for you:

The Sun:

It's time to find happiness again. The most important thing is to figure out what makes you happy right now and to allow yourself to feel that happiness because yes, you have been through a lot, but that doesn't mean you don't need happiness because you do.

Oracle:

Homeward:

This is the card that tells you to take yourself out on a date. To love yourself in the way that you deserve because you do deserve it. Take care of yourself right now. Do something that makes you happy. Do a self-care night, run a bath or shower, lather yourself up in some nice smelling lotion, and put some comfy clothes on. Watch a movie or tv show that you have always wanted to.

Sun:

The sun can always be painted back into your sky. It is up to you to discover and pursue your own happiness. It is not necessary to live in sadness forever. Remember that good mental health is a journey, not a destination. You can get through this, and there will always be things that make you happy. All you have to do is figure out what they are right now. Finding something new to make you happy will assist, it doesn't need to be what made you happy in the past.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

#tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a card #spirituality #divination #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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katsukisblackteddy · 3 years

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The Warrior Queen & Her Pharaoh: Part II

Part II: I Want a Rematch

Pairings: pharaoh! god! Bakugou x warrior! queen! Reader Warnings: none Description: xxxxx

*Extra Info: I’ve taken creative liberties in this, meaning I know that some/most of it will not be historically accurate

𓂀 PART I 𓂀 PART II 𓂀 PART III 𓂀

"Katsuki?” (Y/n) broke the silence between the pair, the girl having been moved into the newly renovated quarters and from her old bedroom where she was placed when she first arrived.

“What?” The blonde questioned, glancing at the girl from where he sat in his chair quietly reading some book that didn’t interest the girl.

“Your father and mine drafted our marriage agreement two days ago.”

“So?”

“We’ve been married for the past two days then, right?” (y/n) questioned looking at the art on the wall. Katsuki raised an eyebrow at the girl, letting out a sigh before he shrugged.

“Why do you care?”

“It was a question. Can you relax?” The black girl momentarily glared at the blonde before rolling her golden eyes in annoyance.

“Don’t tell me what to do if I can’t tell you what to do.” Katsuki remarked before flipping the page and continuing to read.

“Do you plan to entertain consorts?” The girl questioned, her golden eyes boring into his crimson ones.

“I don’t know.” He stated simply, only pausing a moment later to look up at the girl with narrowed eyes. “Do you plan to entertain other men?”

“I don’t know.” She responded sarcastically, flashing him a smile as a frown appeared on his face.

“That’s not an adequate answer (y/n). Do you plan to entertain other men?” He repeated it slower this time, the book long forgotten and set to the side, his full attention on the black girl with the dark braids.

“Just as your answer was not adequate to me, mine isn’t to you.” (y/n) smiled. “Why do you deserve an answer when I didn’t get one. We are supposed to be equals aren’t we?”

“What? Are you jealous or something? Is that what this is? You’re jealous over the thought of me even having consorts.”

“That’s furthest from the truth.” The girl scoffed. “Are you ill, Katsuki? Should I call for the doctors?”

“Oh shut up.” He rolled his eyes. “Is everyone as dramatic as you where you come from?”

“I’m not dramatic Katsuki.” (y/n)’s eyes narrowed as she frowned. “My mother is dramatic along with trifling and two faced, and maybe a few other things but I don’t believe I’m allowed to say those things, lest I be punished in the Afterlife.”

Katsuki laughed lightly at the girl he now called his wife. “What’s so bad about her? Your father spoke highly of her.”

“My father is bordering on senile. He isn’t to be taken seriously. He’s simply a puppet in my mother’s hands, a toy to be played with to her.” (y/n) frowned thinking about her mother. “My mother schemes...just like she plotted to bring me here under the guise of a trade deal, though I suppose my life was simplified down to one for her.”

“Aren’t children supposed to love their mothers?” Bakugou asked incredulously, (y/n) flashing him a sideways glance and crooked smile.

“I suppose so, but then again, mothers aren’t supposed to plan out the death of their child, just as a wife is not to orchestrate the death of a husband...she’s done both though.” (y/n) revealed before lying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

“Your mother planned to kill you?”

“Yes, I was only a child but I don’t think a failed poisoning attempt is ever to be forgotten.”

“She’ll face retribution, if not by my hand then by those in the Afterlife.” Bakugou said nonchalantly, his eyes flashing with anger.

“By your hand, Katsuki?” (y/n) perked up slightly a shit-eating grin growing on her face.

“Is that all you got from what I said?” He quirked an eyebrow at the girl, an annoyed expression on his face though the faintest blush covered his cheeks.

“You would fight for me?” (y/n) asked as Katsuki shrugged. “You know that I can fight for myself right?”

“Of course. I don’t associate with weaklings.” He scoffed.

“You called me an extra.” (y/n) deadpanned.

“Well I didn’t know who you were.” He fired back.

“So you think I’m strong?” Katsuki shrugged in response as she laughed lightly. “I bet I could best you at chariot racing.”

“You wish.” The blonde scoffed, confidence shining in his crimson orbs.

“I don’t mean to brag but I am considered the best in my tribe.” She replied as they both stood deciding wordlessly to settle this once and for all.

“Well I’m the best in this entire kingdom.” Katsuki replied back as the two rushed to the common areas outside, seeing their friends talking quietly amongst themselves.

“Chariot race now!” Katsuki and (y/n) said at the same time to their friends, only pausing for a moment to look at each other before looking back to their friends.

“You better not give me the lame horses either, Katsuki!” (y/n) called back as they rushed back to their separate bathing quarters to get ready.

“Don’t think so little of me, Woman.” He called back before disappearing into his own bathing quarters.

The black girl appeared a short time later, her hair braided with gold and silver thread, gold plated armor placed onto her shoulders connecting to a chest plate and a metal skirt that was placed over a fitted tunic. A large green jewel set into the chest plate. A simple golden headpiece sat on her braids, matching the black and gold eyeshadow and black eyeliner she wore.

She walked down the steps and towards the chariot that sat waiting for her. Mina and Jirou standing beside the chariot under the shade of a nearby tree, their eyes brightening when their new friend approached.

“I hope he looses.” Mina said under her breath as she took her place on the side next to Kaminari, Kirishima, and Jirou. The four nobles stood under the shade of a tree as Bakugou and (y/n) stood in their golden chariots.

The ash blonde ruler smirked at the girl that he now called his wife, though he still thought she was more annoying than anything else. “He’ll win...like he always does.” Kirishima mumbled back, still not over the fact that he had most recently lost against Bakugou.

“Not this time, Kirishima!” (y/n) called as she held the reigns in her hand, ready to take off at the moment’s notice. Bakugou stood in a similar position, his crimson eyes ablaze as he stared out over the sand dunes in the distance.

“We’ll see about that!” Bakugou called as Jirou yelled ‘Go’ and they were off. The ash blonde had taken the lead from the start, his all white horses with gold and silver harnesses thundered through the sand, their strangely black eyes focused only on the landscape in front of them.

(y/n) snapped her reigns again, her own all black horses, running quicker than they were a moment before, easily running in time with Bakugou. (y/n) glanced over to her right, a large smirk on her face as she waved at the blonde before her horses ran faster, passing his chariot altogether.

“I win!” She announced, hopping off of the chariot when they both crossed the finish line within the same second. Bakugou rolled his eyes, scoffing as the girl danced around. “I guess I’m the best chariot racer in all of the land.”

“I want a rematch.” Bakugou stated sourly, shooting a glare at the girl, though she could tell he didn’t mean it since there was a playful glint in his eyes.

“Another time. We have to get back to the palace. You have duties to attend to.” Kaminari chimed in sheepishly, before spinning around and glaring at the three others who stood avoiding eye contact. He always hated having to be the one to ruin the fun, this time loosing the bet to Kirishima, so being the bearer of bad news was his punishment.

“What duties?” Bakugou questioned, his eyes narrowing as he thought about having to do actual work when they were all having fun.

“Well, you have to go visit the worksites and make sure everything is up to par, and then you have to visit the shop in the marketplace.”

“The marketplace? I’d like to come! I’ve never been before.”

“Well you won’t be going today. I’ll take you another time. You have things to do with my mother anyway.”

“What things?”

“I don’t know...girl things.” Bakugou retorted before walking off with Kirishima and Kaminari, leaving the girls behind with a simple half wave of his hand.

“He can’t tell me what to do! I want to go! He can’t keep me locked away here.”

“We have a lot to do today anyways. You have a whole new wardrobe to be fitted for!” Mina cheered, clapping her hands together as they headed back to the palace.

(y/n) watched from the palace entrance as the royal chariots seemed to disappear from view before she went back inside, heading to find Mitsuki and her ladies.

“What about this one?”

“No.” (y/n) denied quickly with a shake of her head, not even bothering to entertain the idea. “Why must I wear these anyway? I don’t find them appealing at all.”

“They aren’t for you to find appealing.”

“I won’t be using them around Katsuki, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“He is your husband, child. You’re expected to birth an heir eventually.” One of the older woman said, looking through the different linens to find something that you may like.

“I will not lay with a man I barely know. We’ve only just started sleeping beside each other.”

“There’s only one bed in the room, (y/n).” Mina said, blinking her eyes.

“I’m well aware.”

“You didn’t make him sleep on the floor did you?” Jirou giggled, as a few women looked at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“No...he offered, but I told him so long as he not touch me, we could share...so we do.”

“But this morning, you both were wrapped in each other’s arms...Kaminari said that we should’ve gotten papyrus and sketched it for safe keeping, but we didn’t have time.” Mina sighed whistfully.

“You watched us sleep?” (y/n) questioned, staring into her friend’s eyes with a slight laugh.

“No...” Mina said, but not very convincingly. “Anyways, you should wear something this shade. I’ve noticed that he seems to like it.” She pointed out the orange fabric. “Then you both can match!”

“Whatever...it’s fine.” (y/n) finally agreed, thankful to finally be done with the wardrobe fittings, at least for now.

The girls wandered around the large palace for some time before Bakugou and the two boys came back, Mina and Jirou telling the girl to go and change so she would be ready for when Bakugou would arrive.

She walked into the room at the exact moment that the explosive blonde walked in, his red eyes locking in on the girl with dark skin, the orange toned fabric matching nicely with her complexion and making her golden eyes stand out.

“Woah...you look beautiful.” Jirou smiled widely, high fiving Mina as Kirishima and Kaminari nodded in agreement. (Y/n)’s gaze quickly shifted to the strangely quiet Bakugou, confused as to why he wasn’t saying anything when all he usually did was talk.

“You look...nice Dumbass, now come on.” He stated gruffly, quickly turning from your view so he could hide his pink tinted cheeks from her. She followed him outside to where a large Sedan was waiting to take them to their destination, though (y/n) was still unsure as to where that would be.

“Where are we going Katsuki?” The girl wondered, glancing at her surroundings before focusing back on the boy.

“You’ll see.” He answered cryptically. A short time later they arrived at the secret destination, Katsuki exiting the sedan first, then extending his hand out to the girl as she jumped down, her sandals hitting the cool sand with a soft thud.

“It’s just over here.” He stated, grabbing her hand and pulling her along when she began to walk the wrong way. He led her over to a large colorful mural, bright flora and fauna bordered the people in the middle.

“Is that..us?” She questioned, pointing at it with her free hand. Although he no longer needed to, Katsuki had yet to release the girl’s hand, but she wasn’t complaining. He nodded at her question. “It’s beautiful.”

“I thought you’d like it...” He shrugged. “I was planning on showing you earlier, but Kaminari thought you would like it more if I showed you when it was finally completed.” Katsuki noticed the way the girl’s eyes seemed to remain on the painted version of herself, the boy growing slightly worried that she wouldn’t like it...he had painted her himself. “Do you not like it?”

“N-No! It’s not that! It’s just...she looks like me...like actually looks like me...” The girl trailed off, her eyes wide in wonder and shining in the dim light of the setting sun.

“Is that a problem?”

“Usually that doesn’t happen.”

“Well I did it myself...I wanted it to be accurate and no body else is good enough anyways.” Katsuki replied, his usually cocky attitude resurfacing and ruining the gentle moment.

“You painted it yourself?” He simply nodded. “You’re really talented.”

“Why do you sound so surprised? I’m not just devastatingly handsome, you know.”

“Yeah right.” (y/n) scoffed, nudging him with a laugh as he smiled softly at her, his eyes going down to her full lips more than he would like to admit.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“No.” He stated, while continuing to stare, ignoring the confused expression of the girl in front of him. “Can I do something?”

“Y-yeah.” (y/n) said softly, noticing the way he stood impossibly closer, the boy standing a few inches taller than her. His large hands gripped the sides of her face softly, before he looked at her again.

“Can I kiss you?” The girl nodded before mumbling out a soft ‘yes’, Katsuki not wasting any time before bending slightly and taking her lips with his own. His lips were soft against her own, surprising her since she had expected him to be rough about everything, it just seemed like that was his nature.

Apparently not though, since the kiss, though short, was soft and sweet. Their lips moving in sync against each other’s before they finally pulled apart, only far enough to breathe, their noses still touching.

“Your lips are soft.” (y/n) remarked out loud, causing the boy to roll his eyes.

“Just because I’m aggressive, according to some people, doesn’t mean I’m a heathen.” He stated as the girl laughed.

“You are aggressive.”

“Well you don’t seem to mind.”

“I never said it was an issue.”

“Well that’s not what your tone said.”

“Do you just enjoy ruining moments and starting arguments?”

“You’re the one who started the argument in the first place. This isn’t even an argument.” He stated back as they walked around with each other, their guards making a perimeter, while allowing them space.

“Whatever...I was going to let you kiss me again, but since I start arguments...”

“That’s not what I meant, (y/n).” Katsuki mumbled shortly after, causing the girl to bite her lip to hide her smile.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” (Y/n) smirked as Katsuki rolled his eyes again with a scoff.

“Get over yourself.”

“Says you.” (y/n) called back, running a few steps ahead as Katsuki chased her, the empty area the perfect place to goof off without having to maintain royal appearances.

Tags

@that-chick212 @bakugous-mamas @chefakari

#katsukisblackteddy #pharaoh bakugou #warrior princess reader #bakugou x black reader #Ancient Egypt AU #bnha x poc!reader #bnha x black reader #in honor of black history month #Ancient Egypt #TWQ&HP Mini Series #i don't know how many parts I want to write for this yet #black history month 2021 #mha x black reader #mha x poc!reader #pls i love mitsuki #part 2 yeeeeee

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celticcrossanon · 3 years

Text

BRF Spread - 16th of March, 2021

This is speculation only.

16th of March, 2021

Question: Have the BRF removed Prince Harry’s peerage titles (Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbartion, Baron Kilkeel)?

Interpretation: It looks like they might have been removed, but the matter could still be under consideration.

Underlying Energies: Three of Wands, Knight of Pentacles

The Three of Wands is the card of initial success and the initial completion of a project. The first year of Megxit is drawing to a close, and it is time to review what has happened to see if it could be called a success. If you look at the picture you can see that a crown is changing hands. The crown is being restored to its rightful owner, and Harry’s peerages are under consideration to see if they will be kept with Harry or returned to the one who bestowed them (the Queen). Is Harry the rightful owner of his peerage titles? Has he honoured them in the way a royal duke should? These are the kind of questions being asked at the completion of the first stage of Megxit, the one year review.

The Knight of Pentacles is the card of Virgo, Harry’s sun sign. It is also a person who is diligent, hardworking, responsible, reliable and humble - all the qualities that Harry has not been showing lately. The Knight of Pentacles draws up a plan and sticks to it, and is focused on practical matters. This reminds me of the Queen sticking to the one year review period for Megxit and patiently gathering details of all the times Harry broke his word and breached his agreement with the BRF, never saying anything but just watching and waiting to see if Harry would realise his mistakes and turn himself around.

First Card: The World. This is a major arcana card, so it is significant. Harry had the world available to him as a royal duke of the BRF, and he gave up this position in the BRF to go out into the world and find his own way (more or less, with funding from Charles for the first year). The World card says that the goal has been reached, success has been achieved, a cycle is at an end. If any lose ends remain, now is the time to tidy them up.

When Megxit happened, the BRF set a one year period after which the situation would be reviewed. This time is now up. Harry has shown clearly that he is not coming back to the BRF, so it is time to go back to the original idea of Megxit and remove him completely as a working royal. His patronages have gone and will be re-distributed. His honorary military titles have been removed. Are there any other loose ends? Yes - his peerage titles. The general public has been petitioning HM the Queen to take away those titles. This is the end of a cycle, the end of Harry as a working member of the BRF, so the question of the titles has to be dealt with.

Second Card. The King of Pentacles. This is a mature earth sign person, particularly a Taurus, and Taurus is the sun sign of HM the Queen. The King of Pentacles is a figure of leadership and authority in a position of material wealth, abundance and worldly success. He is a faithful provider who looks after himself and others, an excellent money manager, and someone who puts people before money (and not money before people). The Queen has invested in Harry by giving him peerage titles. Has Harry been a good return on her investment? The answer to this is now being considered, at the end of Harry’s life as a working royal.

Third Card: The Chariot. This is the card of the zodiac sign Cancer, and Prince William is a Cancer. He may have a voice in this decision, although the final word lies with the Queen.

This card speaks of using willpower and self-discipline to drive the horses of aggression to a completed goal. It is a card of steely determination and strength of will. You have to take action and make your way around obstacles and not let them stop you from reaching your goal. The action is usually external, but it can be internal - making sure you have the inner resources for the challenges ahead - before starting out on your path.

This card says the HM the Queen faces conflict and obstacles in making her decision. These may be external, or internal, or both. However, once she has made up her mind and found the necessary internal support to proceed, she will overcome any external obstacles and achieve her goal. This is a card of the major arcana, so it is crucial that the Queen stick to her decision and do whatever is necessary to avoid or demolish obstacles and accomplish her goals.

Fourth Card: The Four of Swords. This is a card of rest and reflection. It is a time to find a place of peace, look at what has gone before, and build up strength for what is to come. The person has been through some tough times and now they must rest before they burn out or become ill from exhaustion. The Queen has made a decision and put things in motion/taken action. Now is the time to sit back, rest, and let it go. Tough times lie behind, and more hard times lie ahead, but here and now is a time of rest, not action.

It is time to look over your decision, review what led up to it, assess if you could have done anything differently, then release it all and let go of the stress. What is done is done. Rest, renew, and then start doing again. No matter how much you want to forge ahead, now is the time for waiting. I think that there may be a delay in the Queen’s plans - events have occurred that have forced her to put things on hold, again, and this inaction is telling on her as she wants things over and done with as per the last card (the Chariot).

Fifth Card: The Five of Cups. This is a card of loss, of regret over past actions, of disappointment when things have not turned out the way you hoped.

In the card itself we can see a dark haired woman chasing after a golden god, who is almost out of the frame (but not quite). To me the woman represents Meghan, and the golden god is the BRF and the gold ‘fairy dust’ they sprinkled over Harry and Meghan. As the god is almost gone, the golden glitter of the BRF is almost gone. As the woman pursues the god, that is Meghan pursuing the golden dust of the BRF. She desperately wants to remain a royal, but the ‘royalness’ is eluding her and slipping out of her grasp.

The figures on the card are Psyche and Eros, who are married. In this part of the story, Psyche does not succeed in keeping her husband. he vanishes without a trace, and she has to perform a series of hard tasks to get him back. In the same way, I think that the titles have gone in some way from Meghan and Harry.

However, the Five of Cups contains another message. Four of the cups in it are knocked over - gone - but one remains. There is loss as a result of your actions, and disappointment, and regret, but something remains to build on. Whether this means that the titles remain but they can’t use them (like the HRHs), or that the titles remain but everything else is gone (patronages, military titles, monetary support), or that the titles have gone but they still have their blood ties to the BRF to capitalise upon, I just do not know.

I have pulled clarifiers and they said that this was about Harry and the Queen, and it was a difficult decision to make (the Hermit, the Empress, Two of Swords). I don’t know if the Queen is still making her decision, or whether she wants to give them more time, or what. I can not read a final, decisive answer to this question, much to my frustration.

In Conclusion: This is the end of a cycle, the final days of the one year period before the review of Megxit. It is the end of any hope that Harry will return to the BRF as a working royal. It is time for the Queen to review Harry’s actions as a royal duke and decide if she will follow the will of the people and remove his peerage titles, or allow him to keep them. Once she has made her decision, she needs to take action to implement it. Something has happened that may have forced her to delay her decision, but it in the end it will be announced.

As to what that decision will be - I am uncertain. I do think the titles are gone in some way, but whether that way is taking the title of the Duke of Sussex from Harry, or whether it is something else (e.g. keeping the titles but not using them), I just don’t know. All the final decision cards (the Three of Wands and the Five of Cups) can be read both ways, and my intuition is not highlighting one way over the other. Maybe the answer is that the Queen, herself, has not yet made a final decision - or maybe my intuition is just wonky on this question.

Added: I looked over the spread again, and I am 95-98% sure the titles have been removed, so I am going to go with yes, they have been removed. Time will tell if I am right.

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min-youngis · 4 years

Text

We’ve Met

gif not mine

~ Pairing : Min Yoongi x Reader (Wedding Cake Baker x Maid of Honour)

~ Genre : Fluff, Humour, Pini n g

~ Summary : When Irene picked you to be her maid of honour, you didn't expect the very cute cake baker you'd be dealing with, and you sure as hell didn't expect all the bothersome feelings that tagged along.

Strangers to Lovers

~ Word Count : a fair few i'd say (10,685)

~ Warnings : swearing, some smexy descriptions of Yoongi's hands

~ A/N : if you say anything bad about this, i'll cry. but i'll also cry if you say anything good about it.

i'd love to hear feedback! spread the love!

masterlist in my description.

~~~

You pull into a parking space opposite the destination and take a good look at the building you need to be inside within the next ten minutes.

It’s a small, single storey shop, with glass windows and two tiny tables on either side of the door. If you squint just so through your glasses, you can make out the display counter and all the sweets lined up. The white sign board on top reads Kim Seokjin Bakery in large, bold script and underneath, in smaller cursive, Wedding Cakes Available For Order.

It looks comical almost, all light and welcoming, baby pink and white themed, no doubt playing some bubbly radio-friendly pop, perched as it is, in between a dark, imposing tattoo shop on the one side and a sports apparel store on the other.

Trust Irene to find the brightest, cutest, most delightful bakery in the city. You let out a quiet groan, collect your bag from the passenger seat and your coffee cup from the console and climb out of the car, putting on your best I am here because you are my best friend and I love you and this is a part of my maid of honour duties face. You cross the road and after checking the address one last time, push open the door.

The first thing you register is the Katy Perry playing so loud, you feel like she’s singing Teenage Dream right inside your ear canal. The next thing you notice is the tall, broad shouldered, brown-haired man standing behind the cash register with a bright, friendly, maybe even genuine smile on his face.

He gives you a quick bow and shouts to be heard over the music. “Hello! Welcome to Kim Seokjin Bakery! What can I get you today?”

You’re convinced that you’ve stepped into one of those weird, Care Bear style, candy cane themed ice cream castles that Irene writes about in the children’s books she authors and the dude in front of you is Cheer Bear in the flesh.

You clear your throat a bit, working through the sensory overload, and begin to shout back that you’re here for a wedding cake tasting appointment and that the happy couple should be at the bakery any minute.

You’re halfway through the sentence, hoping against hope that he can hear you, because it'd be super awkward if you had to repeat yourself, when the music is cut off abruptly and you’re screaming, “-they’re almost here!” in the sudden, dead silence of the shop.

You shut your mouth immediately after trailing off at the ending and squeak out a soft ‘Sorry,’ refusing to meet....Jin's eyes, according to the name badge pinned on his chest that you can suddenly read, now that your ears aren’t being assaulted.

Huh. The man himself.

The guy looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh at your bashfulness and he’s about to say something, when the door behind the counter suddenly slams open with a loud bang, and a man in an apron stomps out, rage evident on his face.

“Jin, what the fuck? If I have to cut the music one more time because it’s too loud, I swear to God, I’m going to murder you-Oh, hello.”

You register how cute he is, even with his half-angry half-surprised expression, with a dash of flour on his forehead and clad in a fluffy, white cardigan, though he can’t be older than 26. Distantly, you also notice how elegant his fingers look inside his messy, icing coated gloves, his slightly veined forearms exposed with his sleeves rolled up.

You half heartedly raise your hand in a sheepish wave and watch with slight regret as he bows at you rapidly and mumbles out a quick ‘Sorry,’ before scrambling back to where he came from, quick as a flash.

He was there and then he wasn’t, so to speak.

Jin looks unfazed at the prospect of being murdered, still retaining his sunny disposition, as he lets out a small laugh and says, “Let’s try that again, shall we? Welcome to Kim Seokjin Bakery! My name’s Kim Seokjin. That grouch who just disappeared back there is Min Yoongi. Don’t mind him, he forgot how to have fun when he turned twenty one. Now I heard something about a cake tasting?”

You really don’t know what you’re about to say as your mouth opens, thoughts still stubbornly fixed on Min Yoongi, and it’s really for the best for all parties involved that Irene and her fiancé walk into the bakery at that moment.

“Y/N! You’re on time today!” she says, letting go of Namjoon's hand and making her way towards you, wrapping you in a hug.

You’d be offended at her surprise but you had, in fact, been late for the flower-picking and the venue-choosing, so you let it slide, letting her pull you into her frame and inhaling her permanent, calming, lavender scent.

You pull away to watch quizzically as Namjoon goes behind the counter, smiling brightly, and begins conversing with Jin like they’re old friends.

“They’re old friends,” Irene whispers, seeing your expression. “Met at high school, stayed in touch somehow, were in a band together apparently. Them and a couple of others. The other owner of this place, too. Something with Y? Yooni, maybe. That’s why we chose this bakery.”

You swallow thickly and whisper back, “Yoongi. Min Yoongi.”

She throws you a confused look, obviously curious about how you’re so confident about that piece of information, and she’s about to enquire about the same when Namjoon calls her, saying, “Darling? Let me introduce you to Jin.”

She throws you a look, one that holds a promise of this conversation isn’t over, and the two of you make your way behind the counter. Namjoon does all the introductions and when he lands on you, ‘Y/N, Irene’s best friend and maid of honour', Jin says, “We’ve met,” his eyes filled with mirth.

“I reached a bit early,” you explain. “I was just telling Jin that we were here for a cake tasting.”

Irene gives a good-natured, at least to her, punch on your arm and gently mocks, “Early? Oh, look at you go!”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come at all,” you faux bitterly mutter under your breath, rubbing at the sore spot on your shoulder.

You’re snapped out of your whine when you hear Namjoon ask, “And where is the other owner of this fine establishment?”

You barely have time to morph your features back into their characteristically neutral expression when the back door opens again, and as if on cue, Yoongi enters, gummy smile on his face, gloves and apron off. It’s like you’re watching everything in slow motion, like that scene in Madagascar where Marty and Alex run towards each other with Chariots of Fire playing in the background. Except, instead of a chasing-on-the-beach sequence, it ends with a hug.

Once again, introductions are made all around (“Jin, this is Yoongi. Yoongi, this is Jin.” They all crack up at that, bless Namjoon's soul) and this time, there’s no mirth-filled grin when it’s your turn.

Yoongi’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck shyly as he catches your eye.

“We’ve uh...met,” he drily says.

Once again, you’re rushing to explain, “There was an incident with the music just before you guys walked in.”

“Jesus, Y/N, how early were you?” Namjoon asks, slightly awed.

Again, you’d be offended if it weren’t for the fact that his shock is perfectly justified, given aforementioned past instances, so you just vaguely mumble, “A couple of minutes, that’s all,” and wave your hand in a dismissive get over it motion.

A couple more minutes pass, conversation floating around you with Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi reminiscing about their band. You find out that Yoongi used to be a rapper and you have to shake the mental image of him on stage, probably wearing dark, grunge clothes, fingers wrapped around a mic and gasping for breath.

It’s disconcertingly odd and not a little intriguing, as you try to match that Yoongi to the one currently laughing in front of you, still in that goddamn fluffy cardigan that makes you want to simultaneously wrap him in a blanket and wrap yourself in a blanket.

Different blankets.

Maybe.

Eventually, Jin moves to get the catalogue and the five of you walk to a little table at the corner, squeezing best as you can into a set up that should ideally host three people at most.

It’s an agonising hour and a half, as you discuss designs and shapes and flavours and tiers, with your left side pressed into Yoongi’s arm, his soft, low voice hitting your ear in such close proximity and his damned hands resting on the table, fingers interlocked, directly in your line of sight.

At the end of it, as you all wrap up and arrange a final meeting and you feel simultaneously hot and cold with the lack of his presence next to you, you’re convinced that the following three months are going to be...interesting.

________________________

The next week passes in a flurry of activity at work and you barely have time to think about the wedding. With quarterly reports due by the end of the month, your boss is being more of a hard ass than usual and your only saving grace is Jungkook, your roommate, who manages to pick up the groceries and keep dinner in the microwave for you every time you reach home late.

Friday night, 9 PM, sees you climbing up the stairs of your apartment, bag threatening to fall from your limp grip and exhaustion heavy on your shoulders. The rain outside has made your hair scraggly, and your glasses are flecked with obscuring water droplets, even after you had tried shielding yourself with your blazer, and the cold is seeping into your bones, clothes sticking uncomfortably to your body. Your head is filled with thoughts of a warm shower and bed, and you can only hope that Jungkook’s meeting with his new producer is over by now.

You open the door and toe off your flats, calling out, “Kook? I’m home!”

“In the dining room,” you hear him shout back.

You make your way to the room in question, only to halt to a dead stop at the entrance, comically sudden, like in those Tom and Jerry cartoons where somebody gets hit by a large frying pan mid-step.

There, leaning back against the counter, tea cup in hand, is standing one Min Yoongi.

He’s wearing a beanie, black hoodie and dark blue ripped jeans and your mouth goes dry at his ring clad fingers. Those mental images of him rapping? Yeah, they seem more believable now.

Almost unconsciously, you scan him, toe to head, past the grey socks, the peek of his knee through the hole in his jeans, the outline of one of his fisted hands inside the pocket of his hoodie, lips pursed against the rim of his mug and the few strands of black hair that have escaped his beanie. Your eyes pause at the rings on his fingers curled around the handle of the cup, and suddenly, you don’t feel very cold anymore.

Your eyes finally meet his, only to find him staring right back at you.

His expression matches your own startled one, his mouth still comically puckered around the cup, eyes wide and filled with surprise, gaze unwavering from your drenched form.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You’re brought out of your somehow hyper-aware daze by Jungkook’s voice and so is Yoongi, who softly clears his throat and darts his eyes away from you, busying himself with his tea cup.

Poor, sweet Jungkook whom you didn’t even notice was in the vicinity and, bless his soul, doesn’t seem to have noticed the very obvious tension in the room.

He’s bent over the table, takeout brochure spread out in front of him, phone in hand and trademark, bright smile on his face.

Before you can reply, and probably for the best because you’re not sure whether your voice still works, he excitedly continues, “This is Yoongi. I’m gonna be working with him on a track!”

Turning to the man in question, he says, “Yoongi, this is Y/N.”

Simultaneously, the two of you, in the same voice utter, “We’ve met,” doggedly refusing to look at each other.

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, like a confused puppy, and asks, “When?”

“Irene’s wedding cake,” you explain shortly.

“Bakery,” he says at the same time.

You both awkwardly chuckle and Jungkook shrugs, satisfied with the answer(s).

“I’ve ordered pizza for dinner,” he tells you, holding the phone up. “You wanna go change into something warm?”

The realisation that your clothes are still wet hits you, and you suddenly feel a renewed wave of coldness.

You give him a ‘Hmm,’ and with a short, not-at-all awkward nod in Yoongi’s direction, you all but sprint away from the room, forcing yourself to not turn back and see if he was even looking at you.

You engage in what you think is a very necessary pep talk in front of the mirror while changing, and with a deep breath and one last, ‘He’s just a boy,’ you make your way back down.

Stepping into the living room, you find a box of pizza on the centre table, a sitcom playing on television and Jungkook in the middle of a slice.

Alone.

You feel your stomach sink.

Tamping down the disappointment, (all that work, and for what?) you return Jungkook’s full-mouthed, cheesy smile best as you can, nonchalantly grab a slice, and sit down next to him, passively asking, “Where’s Yoongi?”

“Oh, he left.”

Suavely, so suavely, like you couldn’t care less, you let out a noncommittal, vaguely inquisitive ‘Oh?’

“Yeah, he was only waiting for the rain to stop.”

You try not to let your chagrin show as you hum softly, hopefully sounding uncaring enough for Jungkook to not question your curiosity, and turn your attention to the Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode in front of you.

That night, you fall asleep to one part of your head repeatedly whispering, “He’s just a boy,” and another countering, “A very cute boy.”

You’re inclined to agree with the latter.

________________________

Sunday mid-morning sees you in a trial room at a wedding dress boutique, trying on the Maid of Honour dress that Irene’s chosen.

(Puppy dog eyes, the promise of a free community library membership through her connections and ‘I promise, if you don’t like it, we can get it changed. But please, please, please let me pick out a dress for you.’)

You strip out of your t-shirt and jeans and unzip the dress cover that’s hung from a hook on the door, carefully slipping out the dark turquoise, soft, flowy cloth from it.

After a brief altercation between your glasses and the sleeve, you manage to pull it on, and turn to your reflection in the mirror.

You have to admit, you look good. The chiffon material seems to flow down from the V-neck to the clinch at the waist, where the material spreads out and the colour begins to slowly fade into a calm, deep blue, ending at your feet.

You might just have to tell Irene that she did a good job.

Unbidden, a thought rushes into your head, I hope Yoongi will be at the wedding. It’s a little surprising because, after all, he is just a boy.

(And you haven’t exactly faced your thoughts about said boy, so far preferring to stick to your usual reaction when feelings crop up i.e. stringent avoidance.)

Giving yourself a quick once-over and a satisfied nod, you push the curtain aside and re-enter the waiting lounge, immediately greeted by Miya cooing, “You look amazing!”

She and Hyejin are sat on the couch, already in their dark blue bridesmaid dresses, similar to your own.

Hyejin looks up from her phone, grin on her face. “I almost forgive Irene for picking you as maid of honour now.”

You mumble a ‘Thank you,’ blush creeping up your neck, a tad bit conscious from the attention, even when the source is your closest friends. Moving to take a seat next to Miya, you ask, “Is Irene not done yet?”

As if on cue, the curtains of the centre cubicle part and out steps your best friend.

“My head's too big for the tiara,” she says, like she isn’t standing in front of all of you looking like a goddamn princess, in her sparkling, white, off shoulder wedding dress.

The next couple of minutes are filled with squeals and twirling and ‘When did you grow so old? I can’t believe you’re getting married,’ courtesy Hyejin.

Two hours later, you’re all in your normal clothes and leaning back in your chairs, satiated after lunch at a restaurant nearby, and in high spirits off of the company and a productive day.

Miya lets her fork clatter on her plate, an air of finality in the sound and utters, voice sleepy, “I could go for dessert.”

You hum in agreement, already thinking about a good chocolate chip ice-cream or a slice of red velvet cake.

“Oh, I’d die for some cheesecake right now,” Irene says.

Hyejin pulls out her phone and searches for dessert places nearby and really, you should have known that this day was going too well, when a moment later, you’re choking on water as she reads out from her screen, “There’s a Kim Seokjin Bakery, like five minutes away. Wait, isn’t that where you’re getting the cake from?”

Miya repeatedly thumps your back as Irene enthuses, “Yeah! Joon and I tasted some of their stuff the other day, they’re good.”

And that’s what finds you, ten minutes later, about to enter Kim Seokjin Bakery.

The entire time while walking, you had wracked your brain, trying to think of an excuse to get out of this situation without making it sound suspicious, only to come up empty-handed.

You watch, palms clammy, eyes glued onto Irene’s hand on the handle, praying to all the gods you believe in only when you need something, that Yoongi’s on holiday, or that he’s late, or even that he’s just in the back and doesn’t surface the entire time you’re here.

The door swings open, and because you didn’t go to the temple on that one birthday when you turned thirteen and the higher ups have hated you ever since, standing there, in all his white cardigan glory is Min Yoongi.

The gods can suck it, you’re actively atheist now.

Before you can make a run for it, consequences be damned, he looks up from the counter top he’s wiping with a cloth and starts in a drone, “Welcome to Kim Seokjin Bakery, how can I help-oh, hey!”

No escaping now.

You raise a hand in greeting, refusing to meet his eyes, forcing the butterflies in your stomach to cut out the bloody rager they’re throwing in there, as Irene replies, “Hi, Yoongi!”

He moves towards the register and asks, “What can I get you today?”

You focus on choosing between a red velvet cupcake and a chocolate mousse, eyes burning holes into the glass as you force yourself to not look up or in his general direction.

Did that sweater always fill out his shoulders like that?

The others tell Yoongi what they want and now it’s your turn and you want to kick yourself when you honest-to-god stutter out, “O-One red velvet cupcake, please,” like a fucking teenager with a crush, your voice pitching up as your eyes catch on the single ring he’s wearing on his left pinkie finger.

The same finger that brushes against yours when you reach over the counter to take your cupcake.

You nearly drop the pastry as you feel a blush beginning to form at the base of your neck, and you mumble out a ‘Thank you,’ scurrying away to the table in the corner where Miya's sat, already halfway through her brownie.

You have to push away the thought of Yoongi making the very same cake that you’re about to eat. It’s simply too erotic an image for a bakery.

Forcing yourself to seem placid, you bite into it, immediately understanding why the place has such a high rating.

However, you’re rudely brought out from your cupcake-induced coma when you notice Hyejin and Irene sitting down at the table with wide, Cheshire grins.

You suddenly feel very unsafe, sat as you now are in between the two of them.

Miya looks up from her brownie and says around the spoon she’s still got dangling from her mouth, “Uh, guys? What are you doing?”

Hyejin's grin grows wider. “Y/N here has a little something she’s been hiding from us.”

Irene looks like she’s trying hard not to burst into giggles, as she coos and pinches at your cheek. “You’re the colour of the cupcake,” she observes.

You swat her hand away, busying yourself with said cupcake, stubbornly refusing to meet their eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you sniff, before you take a huge bite, staring straight at the wall behind Miya, who looks mighty confused.

“What’s going on? What’s she hiding? Y/N, what are you hiding?”

Hyejin, truly the devil incarnate, leans back in her chair and damningly says, “She’s got what the kids call a crush.”

There’s only so much avoiding you can do around the three of them and now you’re blushing in full force, fruitlessly fighting off your own grin as Irene lets out a cackle and Miya excitedly whoops.

You immediately shush them, sure that there’s no way Yoongi won’t notice all the noise they’re making.

“Shut up,” you whisper harshly. “It isn’t a crush, don’t call it a crush.”

Blatantly disregarding what you just said, Miya softly exclaims, “Oh my god, I knew something was weird when you were being quieter than usual on the way here.”

“Miss I-have-no-emotions is in love,” Irene teases as she nudges your shoulder.

Flipping her off, you quietly whine, “Stop, it’s nothing, don’t make it a thing.”

Hyejin dabs at her mouth with a tissue and nonchalantly says, “So I’m guessing it wouldn’t interest you to know that he keeps looking at you every three minutes?”

The blush that was fading is now back in full force as you try hard not to giggle, fucking giggle, and you manage another bite of your cupcake and unconvincingly utter, “Nope.”

You’re fighting a losing battle at this point really, as the rest of the conversation revolves around Yoongi and your crush and you’re repeatedly forced to slam your palm over Irene’s mouth every time she goes to call him for ‘wedding related reasons.’

You all leave the bakery, the others throwing obnoxious ‘Bye, Yoongi’s behind them, as you manage a small, shy wave.

It is possible that, maybe, you have a teensy crush on one Min Yoongi.

________________________

The thing about liking somebody is that it makes you giddy. The thing about admitting that you like somebody is that it makes you feel like you’re permanently floating on a cloud.

You swear your glasses have been fitted with rose-tinted lenses and everything in the world has a lovely, warm glow to it. Logically, you know it’ll pass. A couple of weeks (okay, fine, maybe a couple of months) and you’ll hardly remember Min Yoongi. But for now, you’re going to enjoy getting lightheaded over something this inconsequential.

Jungkook figures out what’s happening about a week after the dress trial, when he walks in on a video call you’re having in the living room with Miya, in the middle of her squealing and you blushing. He stops at the door like he’s just seen a ghost when he hears you giggle and you don’t blame him.

Giggling and...emotion in general, are not things you do.

After getting over his shock at seeing you blush that vividly for the first time in your five year friendship and four year roommate-ship, he manages to wrench it out of you, howling in glee when he remembers how you had acted that night when Yoongi had come over.

He doesn’t let it go the entire day, always greeting you with a teasing smile when he sees you around the house and even going so far as to take the call about his collaboration with the man himself in the living room, you sitting right next to him on the couch.

You bear with him as well as you can, repressing the urge to bonk him with great difficulty. You won’t let him take away your good cheer.

That night, you’re chopping carrots as Jungkook leans over the stove, stirring at the bubbling gravy inside. He’s been relatively decent for the duration that the two of you have been cooking dinner, probably not wanting to test you when you’re holding a knife, and it’s the last thing you’re expecting when he asks, “So what're you gonna do about it?”

You nudge him to the side with your hip as you drop the vegetables into the pot.

“Do about what?”

“Your crush on Yoongi.”

You’re confused. He can’t possibly thing you’re going to do anything about it.

“Aren’t you going to ask him out?”

Apparently, he can.

As you wash the cutting board, refusing to meet his eyes, you ask, in an obvious tone, “No? Why would I?”

He turns away from the stove, letting the pot simmer and looks at you quizzically. “Because you like him?”

The poor, naïve boy.

Replacing the board behind the sink, you pick up two glasses from the cupboard overhead as you explain through a chuckle, “Jungkook, it’s just a crush. I’ll get over it, no biggie.”

His eyes grow wide with realisation as you walk past him to the fridge, and he switches off the stove, accusing stare following your motions.

“Why do you always do that?”

“Hmm? Do what?” you reply distractedly, as you pour out cranberry juice into the two glasses.

Suddenly, the carton is snatched from your hand and you look up to see Jungkook staring at you with a frown in his face.

“Not act on your feelings.”

You lean back against the counter and scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “I act on my feelings plenty. I have friends, don’t I?”

He takes a gulp of juice straight from the carton, ignoring your pointed stare at the full glasses right next to you on the counter, and begins counting on his fingers as he lists out, “The barista at the coffee shop near your office, that RA during our third year of uni, Mrs. Smith's daughter who visits every weekend-"

“Are all people I’ve gotten over, just like how I’ll eventually get over this crush too,” you interrupt, now beginning to get a little annoyed. This is starting to veer dangerously on talking-about-feelings territory and you don’t do that shit sober and before three in the morning.

Twisting the cap back on the carton, Jungkook says into the fridge, “You didn’t have to get over them. And you can’t tell me that this one isn’t different. I’ve never seen you this...free before, even with your previous crushes.”

“Dude, stop. This isn't going anywhere. Don’t harp on it,” you say with an air of finality, turning around and busying yourself with piling rice onto two plates.

You feel Jungkook’s eyes on you as you walk out of the kitchen, hands full, but thankfully, he doesn’t attempt to continue the conversation.

Dinner is quieter than usual, with you deep in thought about things that don’t bear thinking about, and Jungkook biting his tongue every time he’s about to talk, so as to not send you into a bigger spiral.

As you rinse the dishes in silence, passing them to Jungkook to dry, he finally says gently, “I just want you to be happy. And Yoongi’s a great guy.”

You merely hum in response.

Taking that as an invitation, he continues, “You don’t have to be so worried. What’s the worst that could happen?”

What’s the worst that could happen?

Your head repeats it over and over as you toss and turn in bed that night, running through worst case scenarios. You fall asleep with only one conclusive thought that doesn’t answer anything.

Feelings are stupid.

________________________

You’ve practiced and perfected your signature act of stringent avoidance, and for the next two weeks, you drown yourself in work and Irene’s wedding that’s looming closer, absolutely refusing to let yourself even think about Jungkook’s words and Min Yoongi as a whole.

There were blips of course. A final cake tasting that Irene wanted you to go for, and when Jungkook asked for you to drop off some food at the studio when he was working with Yoongi. You managed to get through both events with minimal embarrassment, refusing to meet Yoongi’s eyes and sometimes pretending to not hear him when he spoke to you, coming out of both instances feeling like your heart had been put through a blender and eagerly looking forward to Irene’s wedding getting over and Jungkook finishing this damn song already, so you can just get over him in peace.

Two weeks left for the wedding and you, Miya, Hyejin and Irene are walking down a set of staircases on the pavement, all of you slightly tipsy from the tequila, including your usually teetotalling ass, about to enter a seedy looking pub with a sign on top of the door, at street level, that reads NYLON in bright, green neon tube lighting.

The thing about Irene, is that in addition to being a children’s book author who has weekly readings at the community library and volunteers in old age homes, she also lives and breathes hip hop music.

And being the incredible maid of honour that you are, for her bachelorette party, you’ve planned to end the night with a visit to a pub that often hosts some of the most famous underground rappers in the city. At least, that’s what Google said.

Somehow, from Irene’s frequent giggles as she stumbles her way down the staircases, and the slightly hazy look in her twinkling eyes as she clutches onto an equally giggly Miya, you don’t think she’ll mind, either way.

Hyejin pushes the door open with a flourish, and you all enter to the sounds of hooting. It’s fairly more packed than you had expected, crowd excited and bobbing to the bass thumping out of the speakers. There are too many people in front for you to be able to see who’s on stage, but even you have to admit that they’re really good, hardly pausing to take a breath as they rap out line after line.

And from Irene’s wide eyes and delighted grin, she seems to agree.

You can tell that you guys are a little late into the set, as they wrap up in the next ten-ish minutes or so, and for a split second, the crowd parts enough for you to see the performer on stage, sweating and panting and surveying the cheering crowd with a satisfied, cocky smirk.

The alcohol seems to drain out from your system as you make eye contact with Yoongi and your heart skips a step as he doesn’t look away, everything seemingly happening in slow motion.

The room suddenly seems too crowded to breathe, and without a word to the others, you turn around and push your way out of the pub, wanting nothing more than to get away from there.

You shove the door open and let it fall shut behind you, letting yourself take deep breaths as you slump against the wall next to the entrance. You shut your eyes and let your head fall behind, resting on the cool brick, abruptly feeling so tired as you faintly hear the thumping bass from behind you.

“Hey.”

Jumping off the wall as if a matchstick had been lit under your ass, your eyes shoot open and land on the man standing next to you, looking at you with his hand sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, small smile playing on his lips.

Min fucking Yoongi.

You force yourself to calm down again as he leans back on the wall next to you and continues, “First time here?”

Despite how supremely distracting he looks at the moment, dressed in tight black jeans and an oversized black t-shirt under a large brown coat, hair matted to his forehead with sweat and long fingers covered in large rings, you manage to say, “Yeah, we're here for Irene’s bachelorette.”

Distantly, you realise that this is the first time that you’ve been alone with him.

“Preparations going well then?”

You shrug, sinking back, what little alcohol that’s left in your system allowing you to loosen up, as you reply, “Well enough.”

He lets out a hum and now there’s quiet around the two of you, the neon sign overhead casting a muted glow and the faint sounds of traffic above mingling with the music behind.

It doesn’t feel awkward. Just...silent. It isn’t comfortable either. It just exists.

“And how's Jungkook?”

You turn your head, looking towards him out of the corner of your eye, confused as you slowly say, “He’s fine. You guys had a meeting today, didn’t you?”

He opens his mouth to reply when the door opens next to you and Hyejin jogs out, wide eyes immediately drawn to you on the side.

“Oh thank god. We’ve been so worried, you just disappeared and we couldn’t find you and the we called Jungkook to find out if you had gone ho-Oh, hello.”

Yoongi shuts his mouth abruptly and raises his arm in greeting.

“We were going to leave because Miya's head’s starting to hurt but we can stay for a while longer if you want?” Hyejin hesitantly asks, eyes locked on yours, as if she’s telepathically trying to understand what you’re doing out here in the dark, hanging out with Min Yoongi, whom you’ve declared as the-boy-who-won't-be-named in your little group over the last couple of weeks.

Hell if you know.

You turn to Yoongi as he gives you a weak ‘Don’t worry about it,’ with a soft, almost-rueful smile, before he waves at you and Hyejin and turns around, walking towards the back entrance from where he came.

Hyejin looks at you worriedly, probably only now noticing your tired face and drooping shoulders.

“Is everything fine?” she quietly asks, placing a comforting palm on your shoulder.

You let out a sigh before you say, “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Let’s just get the others and go home, yeah?”

She gives you a reassuring nod and a soft ‘Chin up, love,’ and with one last nod, the two of you re-enter the pub.

________________________

“You’re moping again.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You’ve been eating that same bowl of cereal for the last ten minutes.”

“It’s good cereal.”

“It’s plain cornflakes. I don’t know why we have it at home in the first place.”

“It was on sale.”

Jungkook huffs in annoyance before snatching the bowl and spoon from your grip and placing it on your side table, ignoring your cries of protest as he whips open the curtains, letting in the sunlight that you so dearly wanted to keep outside.

Shutting the laptop that’s playing dumb cat videos, he moves it out of the way before sitting in its place, not letting you bury yourself under the covers.

After a brief scuffle between you, him and the blanket, that really, you were bound to lose, seeing as how Jungkook’s biceps are the size of your head, he manages to wrench the bedding from your hands, leaving you glaring at him sourly, arms crossed.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” he scoffs, bundling up the blankets and dumping them on the floor, before he turns towards you. “Ever since you came back from that bachelorette party two days ago, you’ve been cooped up in here. It’s time for an intervention.”

You roll your eyes, kicking your legs out petulantly, not reaching anywhere near him. “I don't need any intervening. I’m fine.”

“Have you eaten anything other than cereal? No, scratch that, other than plain fucking cornflakes?”

“I’m trying out a diet,” you cautiously reply.

“Oh, please, we both know you don’t buy into that bullshit. You never shut up about unhealthy eating habits and the harmful effects of diet culture when I’m doing my monthly keto,” he says, fingers in air quotes and expression sceptical.

You let out a huff, annoyed that he saw through you that easily. You and your fat mouth.

At your refusal to engage in further conversation, lips stuck in a pout and stubbornly avoiding his gaze, he lets out an exasperated groan, before he whines, “Come on, Y/N. I’m starting to get worried here. Joon asked me how your cold was during our run today morning. I didn’t even know you had a cold.”

“...I don’t.”

His eyes soften as he leans forward and taps your knee, making you look at him.

“What’s going on?”

You let your gaze flick to the bedroom door.

Noticing, Jungkook cocks his eyebrows up. “Do you really think you’ll make it?”

Letting out a harsh sigh, you slump against the headboard of your bed as you feel the fight leaving your body. Your roommate is a muscly, stubborn little shit and you’re not getting out of this.

He gives you time to collect your thoughts, looking at you expectantly, but not rushing you, now that he knows you won’t try escaping again.

“Min Yoongi.”

He doesn’t look surprised that you open with that, probably expecting him to be the topic of conversation.

“Is that bothering you so much? Last I heard, we weren’t allowed to say his name in a non-work capacity in this house.”

“We aren’t,” you shoot back, with a dirty look.

He raises his hands, palms outward in a pacifying gesture. “Sorry, sorry, please continue.”

“Did you have a meeting with him two days ago?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Then why did he ask me how you were doing?”

Now, Jungkook looks confused.

“Wait, what? When did you talk to him?”

In as few words as possible, you relate your sad, sordid tale and watch as Jungkook’s face flies through five different emotions during your retelling.

He settles at perplexity. His hand comes up to his chin, stroking his non-existent beard.

“I had just met him. And at the studio, he had asked me about...holy shit.”

You’re brought out of your gloom by Jungkook’s slowly widening grin. You can practically see the gears turning in his brain.

“What?” you shortly ask, thoroughly sceptical.

“Okay, don’t freak out when I say this-"

“If you already think that’s a possibility, you probably shouldn’t say it-"

“Yoongi likes you.”

You lean back from him as if you’ve been burnt.

“I’m sorry, what now?”

He leaps off the bed, excitedly beginning to pace around the room, arms waving as he begins to explain, occasionally turning to your disbelieving face.

“Every time when I’m with him, he always asks how you are-"

“He's being polite, you should try it sometime-"

“And Irene was telling me how he asked her if he had done something wrong because you were ignoring him-"

“Stop talking about me behind my back!”

He waves you down as he begins to pace more feverishly and continues, “And he changed that one line to purple frame from pouring rain, I’m thinking because of your glasses-"

“He should probably change it back, that sounds like a horrible decision.”

“That’s it, I connected the dots.”

“Jungkook, you didn’t connect shit.”

Again, disregarding your protests, he continues, “And I’m pretty sure the reason he asked you about me is because he wants to know if we’re dating, but he doesn’t want to seem too obvious about it-"

“Jungkook!”

“Whoa, hey, that’s the thing you’re the most offended about? I’m hurt, Y/N-Oh, fuck.”

He rushes towards your side of the bed on seeing your stricken expression. Your head feels heavy, tears blurring your vision as you watch Jungkook bend down on the floor in front of you, taking your hands in his.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s fine, you don’t have to say anything to him. The wedding will be over in two weeks, I’m almost done with the song, you don’t even have to see him if you don’t want to,” he rapidly says, as he wipes off the single tear that manages to escape.

You force yourself to calm down and take a deep, shaky breath, harshly rubbing your eyes with your free hand.

Quietly, in the pregnant silence of the room, making eye contact with Jungkook for the first time in the entire conversation, you finally, hoarsely utter, “What if I want to see him? What if I want to talk to him? What if I like him so much, my heart almost hurts more when I’m around him than when I’m not?”

He gives you a small smile and a gentle squeeze of your palm.

“Then you’ve got the best wingman right here.”

You hiccup softly at that, feeling drained from all the emotions of the last three days. Jungkook stands up and pulls you along with him, tugging you into a hug that you welcome.

“Thanks,” you softly mutter as you pull away, slightly sniffling and refusing to make eye contact with him, suddenly embarrassed from the events that have transpired.

Noticing your discomfort, he lets you turn away from him and moves to leave the room.

He stops at the door and says, “Why don’t you come down after texting the others, and we can order lunch and watch something trashy? No boy talk,” he says, crossing his heart.

You give him a tiny grin, the most you’ve managed in the last two days, before you reply, “You’re a boy.”

“Not in the romantic way.”

“According to Yoongi, you are.”

“Oh, we’re laughing about that now?”

________________________

Twenty four hours left for the big day and you’d be happy if you never had to hear the word ‘wedding' in your life again. Despite organisation and coordination being your strong suits, nothing could’ve prepared you for the last minute rush.

Really, it’s a miracle that you and the best man, Jackson, haven’t just up-and-away'ed from it all.

You’re at the venue, securing the arch with Hoseok, one of the groomsmen, when Jackson comes jogging into the chapel, phone in hand.

Absurdly, the mental image of a labrador puppy with a tennis ball in their mouth comes to the forefront of your mind.

“The bakery called and Joon asked if you could take it because he and Irene are finalising the speech sequence,” he explains in a single, long breath, holding out Namjoon's phone to you.

Oh.

After your big, emotional reveal with Jungkook that day, you’ve pretty much just been biding your time in the romantic front and resigning yourself to passively letting any and all feelings just happen until you actually meet Yoongi face to face at the wedding. Jungkook’s more than happy to let you be, probably being able to tell how mortified you are after all that uncharacteristic word vomit, and he doesn’t bring anything up. Occasionally, when the two of you are watching television, he'll point at a couple on screen and with a wide grin, he’ll say, “Fighting, Y/N!” and once, he sent you a YouTube link that you assumed was one of his usual Vine compilations but ended up being a video titled ‘5 Ways To Ask Someone Out' but for the most part, he’s been pleasantly bearable.

He did casually let it slip to Yoongi that the two of you were just good friends and roommates and not, in fact, dating. Apparently, Yoongi gave a small smile when he heard, but you don’t know if that’s just Jungkook dramatising and his overactive imagination.

You can manage a phone call, no problem. It’s a toss up between which owner you’ll end up talking to anyway.

Taking the unlocked phone from Jackson, you redial the most recent contact (KSJ Bakery), and move away from the arch as Jackson rushes forward to take your place and Hoseok continues fastening the metal to the wall.

You bite your lip in anticipation as the ring tone hits your ear and very nearly drop the phone when it stops, hearing a decidedly deep, non-Jin voice casually rattle off, “Hey, Namjoon. Thanks for calling back, I just wanted to confirm the pick-up plan for tomorrow.”

Clearing your throat, you hesitantly reply, “Uh, this is Y/N speaking. Joon's a bit busy at the moment, but he’s given me all the details, so I can clear any doubts you might have.”

Silence.

You’re about to let out a tentative ‘Hello?’ when he says, “Oh yeah, no problem. I just wanted to make sure that the cake would be collected before five in the evening.”

Taking the pen out of your pocket, you scrawl ‘Jimin-cake before 5’ on your wrist while balancing the phone between your shoulder and ear, as you reply, “Yeah, somebody should be there before then, no problem.”

“Awesome, I’ll make sure it’s ready to go.”

“Great, thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Once again, silence.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, to get rid of this awful awkwardness (“Bye,” perhaps) but he beats you to the punch by almost delicately asking, “So, uh, how have you been?”

After inaudibly swallowing in nervousness, despite there being no reason for it, he’s just making polite conversation for fuck's sake, you reply in a similar uncertain tone, “I’m good, yeah. And you?”

“Good, good, yeah. Me too,” he hums out, voice tapering out awkwardly at the end.

You see Jackson giving you a questioning look out of the corner of your eye, obviously confused about how weird you’ve suddenly become and you rush to end the call.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then?” you ask, stuffing your pen back into your pocket and turning away from the half erect arch, mentally punching yourself for making it sound so flirty.

You get an obviously quizzical ‘Huh?’ in response and rapidly say, “At the wedding I meant. I didn’t-I didn’t mean anything else. Of course, not that there’s anything else to mean. Joon’s and Irene’s wedding is obviously what I was referring to. Okay, bye!”

Not waiting for him to reply, you hit the red button as quickly as you can, turning back around as you softly sigh and your insides churn in embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to get away from the offending device as soon as possible.

You’re met by two pairs of wide, surprised eyes as Hoseok and Jackson have completely stopped working on the arch, looking at you instead. Hoseok's eyebrows have nearly disappeared into his messy brown hair and Jackson looks like Christmas has come early.

This won’t do. This won’t do at all.

With a half-assed excuse of returning the phone to Namjoon, refusing to meet their eyes, you scamper out of the room, quick as you can, without making it more painfully awkward than it already is.

________________________

Wedding robes are, in your humble opinion, the single most simultaneously gratuitous and comfortable things, you’ve come to realise. Granted, you had turned your nose up at the concept the first time Irene brought it up, but now that you’re sat on the plush couch next to Irene’s mother at the corner of the bridal suite wearing a beige robe, watching as Irene gets her hair done and Miya helps Hyejin with her makeup, you’re convinced that you’re floating on a cloud.

You’re fairly sure that the reason Irene and Namjoon were able to get these robes without going over budget is that they just hired Miya as the makeup artist and she gave them a discount

The silk rubs soothingly against your skin as you get up and pad towards the front of the room, standing next to Irene’s chair and meeting her nervous eyes in the mirror as the hairdresser sets another curl just so.

“Tense?” you gently enquire, giving her a soft smile.

“Just a bit,” she breathes out, staying very still as the stylist flits around her.

“If you’re in this state, I’d love to see how nervous Joon is,” Miya giggles, evening out Hyejin’s blush.

Irene chuckles and moves her hand off of her lap, letting it fall and grabbing yours loosely. She gives your fingers a squeeze and you squeeze back with a reassuring grin.

“Y/N, you’re next!” Miya calls out, prompting you to walk to her as Hyejin moves towards the rack that has your dresses hanging in the centre of the room, smacking her lips as she smoothens her lipstick.

You obediently stand in front of Miya, tucking your glasses by the frame into the opening of your robe and tilting your neck back so she can apply your eyeliner and lip gloss, hands crossed behind your back.

Her already made up face hovers over yours as she delicately holds your chin in one hand, steadying your head as she runs the gloss over your lips.

She softly mutters, “Are you nervous?”

“About what?” you hum, best as you can without moving your face.

You know about what, of course you know about what.

She fixes you with a knowing look, and your eyes dart away from hers, fixing on Irene’s mother helping Hyejin adjust her dress, but she doesn’t pursue the thread of conversation, doing your eyeliner in silence.

Stepping away from her when she gives you the go ahead and turns to Irene, you move to the rack and collect your dress, turning to enter the attached toilet when your phone rings.

The caller ID reads Jackson Wang, and your mind immediately whirs into worst case scenarios.

Not wanting to alarm Irene in case it really does end up being something serious, you drape your dress on the couch arm and move to the corner of the room, while giving her what you hope is an encouraging thumbs up as she worriedly looks at you.

The first thing Jackson says when you accept the call is, “The florist just called and their truck broke down so one of us has to go get the flowers ourselves."

“Send Hobi,” you immediately say, your mind moving to the last minute problems and solutions chart that you and Jackson had gone over the previous night.

“I did, but then the caterers also called and apparently the appetisers got squished on the way, and they can’t make another batch in time.”

Well. That wasn’t on the chart.

“Uh, okay, then we can go get something from the café down the street. Is Jimin free?”

You hear a harsh sigh from the other end of the line as Jackson replies, “Yeah, but he needs to go get the cake too. I’d go but I don’t think it’s best for me to leave Joon right now, he’s started thinking about why they need a religious ceremony in the first place when he has, and I quote, ‘nothing to prove to God anyway,’ and I’ve only just stopped him from calling the priest.”

“Well, fuck. Tae?” you ask, half-groaning, referring to the third and final groomsman, crossing your fingers in the hope that he might be able to help.

“Needs to be here when the cameraman reaches.”

You look at Miya doing Irene’s makeup and Hyejin in turn fixing Miya's hair, as Irene’s mother unzips the wedding gown from its protective packaging.

Glancing at your own done up face and hair in the mirror and shooting a quick look at the tiny alarm clock on the table, you take a decision.

“I’ll get the cake. Let Jimin do the appetisers.”

“Are you sure? You need to be here for the pre-wedding photoshoot.”

“There’s still an hour to go. If I rush, I’ll be back in time.”

“All right, then. God speed, Y/N, god speed.”

Rolling your eyes at his dramatic farewell, you end the call, morphing your face into as calm an expression as possible before moving towards the others.

“What was that about?” Irene asks warily as she gets up from her seat, hair and makeup fully done.

In as nonchalant a manner as you can, you reply, “Oh, nothing. Just some last minute stuff with the florist, it's all good.”

You grab your dress in what you hope doesn’t look too hurried a manner and step into the toilet, changing in record time. You allow yourself a second to look at your reflection, fixing the strap on your shoulder and giving the fabric a sharp tug at the back so it doesn’t bunch over your ass, before you step back out into the room.

Irene’s climbing into her wedding dress with the help of Hyejin and her mother, and it’s all you can do to not call Jackson and tell him that the cake is mostly unnecessary anyway, so you might as well just not bother.

With a clear of your throat, you say, “I just have to get the cake real quick, so I’ll be going,” and with an apologetic look in response to Irene’s penetrating one, you grab your purse from the table, pull on your flats as fast as you can, and shuffle towards the door, pulling your car keys out.

You throw an ‘I know!’ behind your shoulder in response to Miya's ‘Photoshoot's at 3:20!’ before the door shuts behind you, and you make your way to the car park.

You’ve almost reached the bakery, when you become aware of the possibility that you might meet Yoongi, and you pray that Jin is also there so you won’t have to go through any time-wasting awkwardness.

Maybe it’s because you prayed too hard or because you agree with Namjoon’s philosophy and did the prayer all wrong, but when you enter, you find the bakery empty and quiet. If not for the signboard outside that reads ‘OPEN’, you’d have thought they had closed for the afternoon.

You check the time on your phone.

2:30 PM

Mentally calculating the time you have left to collect the cake and be back at the chapel (45 minutes), you tentatively ask out loud as you move towards the counter, “Hello? Is anybody here?”

You get no answer.

2:32 PM

You really have no time for this. You move behind the counter, hand poised to push open the door behind it, hoping that you’ll find one of the owners, when abruptly, you faintly make out a voice that sounds like Jin.

Inwardly cheering, you’re about to enter the backroom when you hear something that makes you stop in your tracks.

In Yoongi’s deep voice, more frazzled than you’ve ever heard, “I can’t ask her out today! It’s her best friend’s wedding, I’m sure she’s super busy.”

Your breath catches and your palms become clammy. Mentally, you try rationalising that it could be anybody, for self-preservation. Loads of people must be getting married today, and you’re sure you aren’t the only maid of honour who’s been put in charge of the wedding cake.

Behind the door, Jin replies, “You gotta do it soon, I get second hand embarrassment whenever I see you pining. You come back from every session with Jungkook with hearts in your eyes and he’s just her roommate.”

...Jungkook is a fairly common name?

You barely have time to gather your swimming thoughts and rapidly move away from the door, before you hear a low huff and an annoyed grumble of ‘Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it,’ followed by the sound of two pairs of footsteps walking towards you.

You have no time to go back to the customer side of the counter, and trying to look as nonchalant as possible, you pretend to be absorbed in a catalogue that’s kept near the cash register. You hear the door open behind you and turn around, trying to seem as natural as possible.

Keyword being trying. Yoongi looks like a fish, mouth open, eyes widened in surprise. Jin behind him just looks vaguely pleased. You catch sight of your stricken expression in the glass cupboard behind them and mentally punch yourself for looking so obvious.

For a moment, the three of you just stare at each other, nobody moving or saying a word. And then Jin, recovering admirably well, amusedly says, “I didn’t know you could read upside down, Y/N.”

You look down at the pamphlet in your hand and see that ‘Weekend Special!’ is, in fact, upside down.

Face burning, you look back up and stammer, “Uh, yeah, nobody was there and I needed to pick up the cake so I thought I’d just-uh-come behind here and see...,” you trail off awkwardly at the end, refusing to make eye contact with either of them, desperately checking yourself from shuffling from foot to foot like a chastised student at the principal’s office.

Vaguely, you register that Yoongi still hasn’t said a word.

Hurriedly placing the catalogue back on the counter, you scurry to the other side, as a softly chuckling Jin gently shoves a still gaping Yoongi out of the way, and moves to the refrigerator, retrieving a large box from inside.

“The black hatchback parked right outside is yours?”

You shake your head out of your stupor, mind running a mile a minute. Replying to Jin, you say, “Uh, yeah. That one’s mine.”

He walks towards the door, and you know that logically, you should be following.

2:47 PM

Daring to look at Yoongi, you see that he’s shut his mouth, but his expression still resembles your own round-eyed one. Unable to handle the butterflies any longer, you violently throw an arm up, squeak out a swift ‘Bye!’ and spin around, rapidly walking towards the door behind Jin, your dress swirling around your ankles with a whoosh.

Your face is the colour of ripe tomatoes as you unlock the car and open the hatch, only half paying attention to Jin carefully placing the cake box inside.

He straightens up, clapping his hands together in a satisfied motion before turning and looking you dead in the eye.

You definitely aren’t prepared for the words that follow.

“You know, if neither of you do anything, nothing’s going to ever happen.”

And then, like he didn’t just drop that bombshell, he gives you a blinding smile, shakes your limp hand in his, and cheerily saying, “See you at the wedding. Don’t hit the brakes too hard!” he turns around and marches back into the bakery, hands tucked into his pockets, carefree as can be.

You’re in a haze as you move to the driver’s seat, buckling yourself in, head and heart all topsy-turvy.

The blinking digital clock on the dashboard warns 3 PM.

Fuck it.

In a rush, hardly registering what you’re doing, you let go of the seatbelt, not paying attention to the thwack it makes as it hits the side of the car. Throwing the door open and scrambling out, you jog back to the bakery, no doubt looking like a woman possessed.

You push the glass door and briskly walk to where Yoongi’s looking back at you in astonishment from behind the counter, tray full of colourful macaroons in his hands. Your system’s running on pure adrenaline at this point. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jin giving you a thumbs up and a delighted smile, and strolling to the back room, probably to give you guys a little privacy. A suspicious thump follows and you reckon he’s leaned against the other side of the door, ear probably pressed against it. You’d debate ethics, but really, you’re in no position to judge.

“Hey,” you start shortly, once you’ve reached Yoongi, who’s now placed the tray inside the display counter and is looking at you with a bemused expression.

“Hi! Did you leave something behind?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed.

You open your mouth and shut it again. In a rush, you realise what you’ve done. Like a fool, you try getting something coherent out, but all you manage is a weird cross between a tiny cheep and a squawk that sounds like a dying bird, before you clamp your mouth shut again.

From behind the back door, you hear a stifled chuckle.

Fucker.

Yoongi’s looking at you worriedly, as he kindly enquires, “Are you alright? Would you like some water or something?”

“No!” you shout, louder and more panicked than intended, as he turns around to get a bottle from one of the cupboards on the wall.

“No,” you repeat softer, with a nervous giggle that probably doesn’t do a lot to convince him as he turns around, now looking thoroughly bamboozled.

“Um, okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Another chuckle from behind the door.

Ridiculously, in the back of your brain, you can see Jungkook’s dumb grin as he screams, “Fighting, Y/N!”

Well, you’re definitely ready to fight someone.

You take a deep breath in. Shooting a quick prayer to the boss people up there (because that’s always seemed to work so well) and throwing all caution to the wind, you shakily ask, “Do you wanna-wanna maybe get coffee sometime? With me?”

You gauge his reaction, and your heart pretty much swoops as his face clears up and gives way to a wide, gummy smile, however much he tries to stop it from growing. Distantly, you think it makes him look like he’s having a seizure, but an attractive one.

He coughs and clears his throat, attempting to look nonchalant, as he nonetheless enthusiastically replies, “Yeah! Yeah, I’d like that!”

You can feel yourself matching his expression, as a stupid grin fills your face. You’re sure you both resemble right dorks, beaming and blushing like fools at each other, looking pleased as Punch.

Suddenly, a loud shout emerges from the back room as Jin insistently thumps the door. “Just set a time and go, Joon wants to know where Y/N is and what’s taking her so long!”

Flustered, Yoongi looks away, throwing a dirty look behind him as you look at your phone (3:07 PM) and see that you’ve got two missed calls from Irene, one from Hyejin and a grand total of six from Jackson.

With an agitated air, you revert your gaze to Yoongi, who gives you a small laugh as he waves his hand and says, “Go! We can figure it out later.”

You give him an apologetic grin and a cheerful ‘Bye!’ before jogging back out of the bakery, lightheaded.

________________________

[5:35 PM] Min Yoongi : Good luck. You look nice.

The entirety of the ceremony consists of you torn between paying attention to what’s going on right next to you on the dais and fighting your blush every time you catch Yoongi’s eye in the crowd.

Too busy thinking about his text you had received right before the doors opened, you nearly miss your cue to give Irene the ring.

________________________

Hours later, at the reception dinner, after the speeches are done, and the guests are dancing, and you can finally breathe, you feel yourself being tugged to the side by Jackson as you step down from the wedding party dais, and into a large, chaotic circle full of Namjoon’s friends. Incidentally, you end up standing right opposite a smiling Yoongi. Next to him, Jin throws you a wink.

Jackson begins introductions and there are ‘Nice to meet you's and ‘It was a beautiful ceremony’s thrown all around.

He finally reaches Yoongi.

“And this is Yoongi - part time bakery owner, part time music producer.”

A grin, a performative hand shake, and a blush from both parties involved, followed by a chuckle. Together, in the same amused voice, with twinkling eyes, the two of you say, “We’ve met.”

317 notes · View notes

lesbianlotties · 3 years

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“Proof” - Andy/Quynh - The Old Guard Femslash Fortnight

@tog-femslashfortnight

Saturday Prompt: Free Choice

“Oh don’t,” Quynh weakly protested, giving back the phone, “Do not make it a habit.”

Andy grinned at Quynh’s picture on the phone’s screen, “I don’t think I can promise that, love.”

–

or, a story based on that iconic tumblr post by @justqueeerious

It all started on a rainy day not too long after their reunion. Their time apart had left a mark on each of them, but more than anything, they wanted to make the most of the time they had ahead of them, looking up at the future with loving smiles on their faces. Then there was the fact that Quynh had missed on five hundred years of history. She was curious, she was excited, she was eager to see and learn as much as she could, and Andy, well, she was happy to indulge her in anything she wanted. That’s why the ancient warrior allowed herself, if only for short periods of time. to forget about selfless missions for the betterment of the world, and instead focused on lazy mornings snuggled up in bed with the love of her life.

“Andromache,” Quynh called her name softly, “Do not tell the others I said so but, this is just a magical little machine.” She grinned at the smartphone in the other woman’s hand.

Andy laughed affectionately. “I bet it can do more impressive things, but you’d have to ask Nile to teach you when we’re all reunited again. I only know the basics,” she shrugged.

Quynh, who had been resting her head on Andy’s shoulder, suddenly perked up and let out a small gasp of amazement. They had been texting Joe and Nicky, and Quynh was already impressed by it all, but then the phone displayed a picture the couple sent, and that was just mindblowing to her. “How?!” she wondered, looking back and forth between the phone’s screen and Andy’s smile.

“Let me show you,” Andy’s smile only grew in size. If she knew Quynh as well as she knew she did, then it was probable that in a matter of months, maybe weeks, Quynh would have a firmer grasp on modern technology than Andy herself. So, Andy was determined to enjoy these constant little moments of endearing surprise that came over the other woman’s beautiful, perfect face.

Andy, not without complaints from Quynh and regret on her part, moved away from her lover and crawled to the other end of the bed, where she fumbled with the phone for a few seconds before holding it up to take Quynh’s picture. The result, Quynh’s officially first picture, was so unmeasurably precious to Andy, that all she could do was shake her head in wonder. “I love you so much,” she sighed contentedly.

“My heart, what did you just do?”

“Take a look,” Andy passed her the phone, hoping her lover’s interest in the picture would keep her from noticing the tears filling Andy’s eyes.

Quynh gasped when she saw herself captured on that small screen. Immobile, surrounded by the fluffy whiteness of the bed covers, her hair a mess, her features relaxed, her comfortable black pajamas familiar and strange at once. “This made you cry?” she asked.

Her words made Andy’s entire body shake with laughter. “Come on, give it back, I want to take another,” she moved back to Quynh’s side.

“Oh don’t,” Quynh weakly protested, giving back the phone, “Do not make it a habit.”

Andy grinned at the phone’s screen, “I don’t think I can promise that, love.”

–

It went on and on. At first, it still came as a surprise to Quynh. Andy would call her name, she would turn to look at her in confusion, seeing her holding the phone up, and then she’d understand. However, it wasn’t too long before Quynh got used to it, and started making the most out of it. Every time Andy called her name Quynh would turn around with a perfect smile already in place. And, more often than not, she could tease her love about it. “Like what you see?” “My heart, you’re blushing again,” “Try not to cry this time,” she’d say. Only to receive a few, “Just enjoying the beautiful view,” “I can’t help it, you’re gorgeous,” and the occasional, “Shut up, I only cried once!” from Andy.

Andy was unstoppable since then, really. And Quynh only rarely pretended that she was upset by it at all. For example, when Andy was teaching her how to drive, but couldn’t let the event pass by without photographic evidence.

“Andromache, I’m going to crash the car if you don’t put down the phone,” Quynh mumbled from behind the wheel, “And one of us is not immortal, do I have to remind you that?”

After taking a picture, Andy put down the phone and laughed, “Yeah, well, I also said both hands on the wheel but who’s posing for the camera huh?” She didn’t mind at all though. How could she be bothered at all by the display of confidence, the effortless grace and unwavering determination in the other woman’s face, as Quynh expertly took over the street as if this modern car was not too far from the chariots they once were so comfortable on. That would never change, no matter how much time passed, just the two of them, passing through the world at their own speed, untouchable, completely in love.

Even when they were getting ready for training, something that even after thousands of years was never unnecessary. It kept them in shape and if they were being honest, they just loved it. It was part of who they were, and it was difficult to imagine their lives without the constant thrill of being always ready for battle, something as natural to both of them as waking up every morning. Andy had trained alongside Quynh for thousands of years but, of course, she’d never seen the love of her life wearing modern-day training clothes. It was too much. Too tight. Too little in certain places. And then there was fiery determination in Quynh’s face.

Andy was surprised the picture came out alright, considering she felt herself shaking a little bit by simply staring. Maybe Quynh won most of their fights that day. And the others would never forget the one day where they saw Andy getting her ass kicked for the first time in nobody knew how long. But Andy didn’t mind, she didn’t feel like she was losing anything at all when she had Quynh pin her down to the ground and smile at her just… in that way only Quynh could.

–

When Quynh was getting just comfortable enough with life in the twenty-first century, she decided she wanted to see the world. She had explored it, again and again, while holding Andy’s hand, but now, the world had changed. There was so much novelty, it was almost an entirely new world. That thought could be a dangerous one, a troubling one. But Quynh, she chose to focus on all the opportunities this offered. She focused on Andy’s hand in hers, Andy’s delight in showing her every new wonder this world had to offer, Andy’s bright smile, Andy’s loving eyes, Andy slowly but surely leaving behind her guilt and sorrow to give herself completely to Quynh, as if it was the first time, as if she was just getting used to not being devastatingly alone for the first time in her life. This meant that in their best moments Quynh could put down the weight of pain and rage and almost forget it was there in the first place.

Those were the best moments, the ones that Andy went out of her way to keep with her forever in as many pictures as possible.

“Would you rather we were traveling on horses?” Andy asked with a smile as she watched the love of her life continuing to pout because of all the waiting they had to do at airports.

“At least back then anyone could have a horse,” Quynh rolled her eyes, “Why don’t we have a plane?”

There was a picture of Quynh in every city, almost a picture of her in every single place they visited. There was Quynh’s amazement and wonder, her confusion, and occasional distaste at the things she was discovering. Everything captured in pictures. Andy treasured every moment of course. More often than she’d like to admit she caught herself holding back tears again. She couldn’t hold back all the love she felt for this wonderful woman in front of her. Quynh could bring her to tears, could make her throw her head back laughing, could make her forget where and when they were, all with just one look.

–

All the traveling, all the missions. Andy knew she hadn’t stayed still in a single place for a long, long time. But it wasn’t until she got Quynh back that she realized it had been exactly five hundred years since she’d wanted to stay anywhere. Without Quynh, there was no home, no place where Andy would completely belong, not without her. Now, however, Andy was attacked by the realization that with the love of your life by your side, settling down for a little while at least wasn’t so bad at all. There was something nothing short of magical about the way it felt to wake up in the same bed, in the same pair of arms, again and again. She could never get tired of it, really.

Other than the lazy mornings and, well, pretty much every moment they spent together… Andy was discovering she really loved the little moments of quiet companionship with each other. It had been so long. But it still was the most natural thing. And there was a fun addition.

“You’re distracting me, my love,” Quynh mumbled on more than one occasion as she tried to focus on the book she was reading. It was just another way of seeing the new world that was around her, and she found she was starting to like it.

“I am completely quiet,” Andy replied, frowning at her phone, trying to decide if the pictures she’d just taken were good enough or if another was necessary.

“Are you really so bored you have to keep taking pictures?” Quynh asked another time, not even looking up to see that the other woman was caught.

“Yes,” Andy shrugged, “This is my desperate attempt to get your attention back.” It usually worked.

–

Their traveling continued though, through every season. In the spring, Andy’s phone threatened to collapse with the overflow of pictures of Quynh surrounded by all kinds of flowers, full of color and life. The summers weren’t their best time, and they decidedly avoided certain popular summer destinations. Instead, they made the most of the colder months of the year. They both could still remember the times when the only reason they managed to survive many brutal winters was that they were immortal. But the comforts of modern days made incredible things possible, and Quynh was delighted to make the most out of it.

“Fake fur, huh? That’s interesting. Certain much less work to do,” Quynh commented as she snuggled into her own coat.

Andy was staring at the most recent picture on her phone, a content smile on her face. But as soon as she glanced at Quynh, she found she barely cared about the picture anymore. A cold winter breeze passed by, and Andy trembled even more because of the thought that passed by her mind. For hundreds of years, she’d grieved this wonderful, gorgeous woman that now walked beside her. Andy had gripped her memories like her life depended on it, and it often wasn’t enough, her memories of Quynh never faded away, but with time they got at least a little blurry. Could it be possible that this almost desperate impulse she felt for taking her lover’s picture was just an unconscious attempt to immortalize their memories, in case they were ever separated again?

Shaking that train of thought off her mind, and shoving her phone deep in her coat’s pocket, Andy moved closer to Quynh. She wrapped her arms around the love of her life and firmly kissed Quynh’s cheek. “I love you, have I told you that today?” she asked when she moved away.

“Time has made you too soft, my heart,” Quynh shook her head at Andy, but she was smiling and she was blushing, not because of the cold.

–

Five centuries was a long time to miss. The world as Quynh had known it was entirely different now, and she was still getting acquainted with this modern version of it. But, some things never change, they can’t, they aren’t allowed to, or they just don’t want to. After leaving the ocean behind her forever, Quynh worried she would be different, that she’d changed too much. Then she worried she hadn’t changed at all and wouldn’t ever find a way to fit in anywhere again. That thought lasted up until the moment Andy first put her arms around her. Then, Quynh realized, not only she’d always have her home in those arms, where the two of them would always fit perfectly with each other. But she noticed this hadn’t changed at all. The two of them. They could grow, they could love each other even more, but never any less, that could never change.

And, there was another thing: Nature. Andy fought herself constantly for a feeling of not having been able to do enough, to keep humanity from doing itself and the world as much damage as it had. But still, there were some places, and they were nothing short of heavenly, that hadn’t changed too irrevocably these past hundreds of years. Even more, some places were still familiar from a thousand years ago. Some places were older than her and Andy put together, and they’d outlive the two of them and every person that lived on this Earth. That was the only reassuring thought that for thousands and thousands of years reminded the two immortal women that they could be extraordinary among humans, but they’ll always be just that, humans.

So, in one very special forest, a place with trees that supposedly were older than Andy, a place that they’ve visited and protected for as long as they could remember, Andy and Quynh rested. They camped for a few days, taking with them comforts of this decade, and knowledge of the past millenniums. They spent their nights wrapped around each other, staring at the stars, familiar as each other, but undoubtedly ever-changing, at the moon, a comforting presence that had never, not once, left them on their own, it was almost a part of who they were. But, during their first day there, Andy noticed her phone would die and she had no way to charge it.

Andy was sitting on the ground, her back resting against the trunk of a tree, and her arms were wrapped around Quynh, who was sitting in between her legs, with her back comfortably resting against Andy’s front. It was familiar and perfect and they wouldn’t have minded spending a hundred years or so just like that.

“That’s a shame,” Quynh said of the little number at the top corner of the screen that warned them of the phone’s dwindling power. Recently she’d gotten quite obsessed with a game on the phone and although it was incredibly endearing and at times concerning, it had stolen most of the phone’s battery.

“It’s okay,” Andy mumbled, realizing she couldn’t care about anything but the sweet scent on Quynh’s hair and the softness of her neck under Andy’s lips.

“I want one of you, one of us.”

“Hm, what?” Andy asked, begrudgingly moving her attention away from the kisses she’d dedicated herself to leaving on her lover’s neck.

“A picture, like this one,” Quynh answered. She was staring at the lockscreen of Andy’s phone, a picture of herself, as usual, one of a thousand pictures.

“I can do that, I think,” Andy said. She moved her hands to take the phone from Quynh’s hands, fumbled with it for a little bit, and then she managed exactly what Quynh wanted.

The next seconds were spent with the two of them smiling at the camera of the phone Andy held in front of them. Andy kissing her cheek. Quynh kissing her cheek in retaliation. Kissing each other’s lips because they couldn’t hold back. Grinning at the camera again. One attempt at seriousness. Another failed attempt. Picture after picture. Until the moment the phone died, making Quynh gasp a little at the sudden surprise.

“It’s fine, they’ll stay there,” Andy reassured her, tightening her arms around her and going back to her favorite activity of trailing kisses on Quynh’s neck. “Besides,” she stopped for just one second, just so Quynh could twist enough in her arms to really look at her, so they could look into each other’s eyes and understand completely and absolutely the truth of her next words, “I love the pictures, but I don’t need them. I have you here, that’s what matters. I love you, I don’t need proof of these moments, I could never forget them.”

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concealeddarkness13 · 3 years

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WHG 15 Impostor Syndrome Part 1

Triel is going to have a fun time! Tagging: @sparkles-and-hens, @knmartinshouldbewriting, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @thoughts-of-nora, and @ratracechronicler!

I wandered outside the district as my thoughts wandered through my plan one last time. Today was the day. I was going to volunteer as tribute and give the Capitol a big middle finger as I helped as many tributes as possible escape from the arena and to freedom. What could go wrong?

It was going to be foolproof. It had to be, right? I had to project confidence, or no one would believe in my scheme. And it would work. It had to.

“Sparrow, what are you—” I barely heard the voice before I bumped into someone. Not just someone. I grinned as I looked up. Aunt Reeves. She was here!

I flung my arms around her, and she hugged me back in one of her signature bone-crushing hugs. I held on tighter. “I could ask you the same question!”

She grunted. “You didn’t even let me finish it.” She paused. “We’re here because Graem wanted to talk to you.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t tell him I said it, but he’s worried about you.”

“I heard that.” I pulled away from Aunt Reeves as Uncle Graem walked up. I grinned and ran over to him to get crushed by one of his hugs too. When we broke apart, he sniffed. “And I’m not worried about you. I just want to talk over your plan a little.”

Aunt Reeves snorted in the background, and I probably should give some exposition about who these two were. They weren’t really my aunt and uncle. First, they weren’t married, and they weren’t my blood relatives. Aunt Reeves was a pirate captain, and Uncle Graem was her first mate. They found me when I was a baby, and I had been cast out to sea. There’s more to my backstory, but I’m not going to divulge everything yet.

I grinned and nodded. “So, I’m planning on volunteering for the Hunger Games and convincing as many tributes as I can to escape from the arena, where my airship and crew will be waiting for them to take them to safety!”

“And where is safety?”

“I’ve been eyeing this interesting fabled mansion that has anti-Capitol defenses that should keep us all safe. Shine will be in control while I’m in the arena, and they [yes, they’re non-binary…and deaf, just to let you know] will make sure everything runs smoothly on the outside.”

Uncle Graem frowned. “And what happens if it doesn’t work out so perfectly?”

That was the big problem, wasn’t it? And no matter how much I thought about it, I hadn’t come up with a solution. It would all go to shit if it didn’t go well. I smiled sweetly. “Could I ask for your help?”

Aunt Reeves snorted. “You can—”

Uncle Graem nodded. “—but we won’t be helping you in this scheme. I must say, I was impressed in how you found Nesri and hid her from the Shades [exposition to come about those guys], so I want to see where you’ll go after achieving so much. We will only be impartial observers.”

I had known that would be the case. I nodded. “Thanks. I hope you’re impressed.” I bowed theatrically, and Uncle Graem and Aunt Reeves were gone as soon as they had come.

Now, I could explain about the Shades and Nesri. The Shades joined the Capitol and somehow were able to give kids this magic that made a person glow and float and crystallize liquids in a certain radius around them, and the crystal was as strong as a diamond. The Shades were behind the fear mongering about the people who had the glowy magic, so the Capitol thought they could control them. And for the most part, that was true. But Nesri was able to escape, and I had found her a month ago. She joined my pirate crew, and the Shades had no idea where she was. Unfortunately, she was a Victor, so she had to show up to the Reaping and the Hunger Games, but I wouldn’t let them take her.

Everything was going to work out. I just had to work my hardest, and everything would be fine.

I jumped when the bells rang. The Reaping would start soon. And my plan would be put into motion.

But first, I had to fix my look. Last night, Shine had made a bet with me, and they had won. Because of that, I didn’t have a cool hat or coat anymore, so I had to get those for the Reaping. I headed over to the Victors’ houses to find suitable replacements.

I went to Cahira’s house first. She was one of the oldest Victors, and she still defied the Capitol whenever they weren’t paying attention. She was an information specialist, and I had gone to her to get the information I needed for my plan. So, she wouldn’t be surprised to see me.

I knocked on the door, and Cahira herself opened it after a slight pause. She grinned at me and patted me on the shoulder. “To what do I owe the visit, my dear?”

I smirked back. “Wardrobe change.”

Cahira laughed and let me in. “I’m not attached to any of this stuff, so you can have it, as long as it fits you. But you should hurry. The Reaping’s starting soon, and I heard from a little sparrow that it will be an exciting one.”

I nodded and started walking. “Don’t worry. I don’t mean to miss it.”

Cahira left me to it, and I stalked through the hallways, looking for a promising room to raid. Before I could get very far, however, I froze at the light on in one of the rooms. I snuck up to look inside, and I smirked. Oh. Cahira had a guest.

She was a dashing beauty, with curly, dark blue hair and bright green eyes. She didn’t have make-up caked on her face, unlike most of the rich snots in the Capitol. But she was from the Capitol. No one from the districts would have such an impressive (read: ugly) wardrobe.

As she was perusing the selection, I walked up with my best dazzling smile, eyeing the perfect long, black coat and wide-brimmed hat just hanging in there, asking to be taken. She didn’t even startle; she just looked over at me with a smirk.

“And what is a local doing in Cahira’s mansion? I thought she was a loner?”

She certainly sounded like a Capitol snot. Light, breezy voice that sounded like she wanted to give a tinkling laugh in your direction at any moment. I smiled wider. “Miss Cahira invited me to find the perfect outfit for the Reaping here. And I’m glad I took her invitation. I wouldn’t have found such beauty here otherwise.”

She did give the tinkling laugh. “How cute. If you’re able to be Reaped, I’m too old for you.”

“Does that mean I can’t appreciate beauty when I see it?”

She cocked her head, still smirking. “Is there any reason why you came to my room in particular?” She paused, gesturing at her expansive wardrobe. “Anything catch your eye?”

A trap? Her eyes were amused, and she crossed her arms. I turned to the clothes and pretended to look over them. Most of them were gaudy Capitol things. It was kind of odd that there was anything normal in this selection. “Honestly, Capitol fashion has always intrigued me, but this—” I pointed to the long coat and wide-brimmed hat, “really confuses me. How does this fit with the rest of the styles you have?”

She laughed that same annoying laugh. I couldn’t tell if she was toying with me or not. I couldn’t read her at all. Who was she?

She took the coat and hat down and set them on her bed. “Truly a curious trend. It happened a few Hunger Games ago, when the tribute who won refused to wear anything fancy during his interviews or chariot ride. So, we decided to hop on the bandwagon and wear casual things, but casual things are such a drag. I only brought this along just in case a local came looking for good clothes. Why don’t you take them?”

Oh, she was totally toying with me. I eyed her. “What’s the catch?” I could get away with just stealing this. She wouldn’t be able to use me after the Reaping, since I was going to be a tribute. So, there wasn’t a huge risk for me. But still…

She cocked her head. “Oh, I’ll think of something before I leave. I’ll find you after the Reaping. Wear the coat and hat proud until then.” She winked.

I nodded. That was acceptable. I wouldn’t have anything to give after I became the Capitol’s property. So, even if she could get to me during the visits, it would be useless. I snatched the coat and hat and ran out of the room before she could change her mind.

#writeblr hunger games #writeblr

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anncanta · 3 years

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Dracula BBC as an alchemical novel

I noticed a long time ago that the stories that S. Moffat and M. Gatiss tell do not just have two or three layers (in fact, much more), but most often turn out to be such a complex field in which all the numerous levels work independently and at the same time manage to merge into a holistic melody. Actually, this is why their texts often ‘from the outside’ look strange, incomprehensible or meaningless (apart from those cases when they really are like this).

The thing is that stories of this kind are arranged in such a way that the plot, as a frame, ‘holding’ ideas and meanings on itself, is, so to speak, open — like a system of corridors leading in different directions, up and down, into those dimensions of the narrative that are currently needed by the authors in order to convey their statement.

In this respect, the genre is very important, because by structuring the story at the formal level, it allows, let’s say, to enter it and understand where to move from the entrance. And there — well, depending on how far you are willing to go.

One of the best definitions of the Dracula genre that I have seen among the reviews written so far is a metaphysical detective.

Some might say that the term looks artificial, but bearing in mind that the story itself seems to be enough… hybrid, it would be fine to start a conversation.

This really has everything a good detective novel needs, plus philosophical and (almost) religious motives organically woven into the narrative, the idea of self-knowledge that pushes the boundaries of any genre, and a mysterious ending. So it’s easy to agree with the above definition.

But I would say that this is an alchemical novel.

Let me remind those who have not come across the works of C.G. Jung, who in his later work paid much attention to alchemy and secret religious practices: in the context of his research, alchemy is a way of self-knowledge and one’s own psyche in order to achieve a higher level of development and gaining mental and spiritual integrity.

History of literature knows several rather interesting attempts to describe the alchemical Work and, since cinema in this sense is no worse, if you wish, you can immediately name a dozen films that also touch on this topic. Well, Sherlock, being viewed from a certain angle quite fits into this paradigm, and I will not even start about Harry Potter — this is a classic of Jungian thought, expressed in literature and successfully transferred to the cinema.

What about Dracula? Everything is very interesting in it.

The first thing to note is that Dracula’s structure is not a mini-series. It’s not a TV show at all. This is a three-part film, all parts of which are closely related to each other so that none of them can be ‘taken out’ from the text without losing meaning and understanding what is happening here.

The second, — it is undoubtedly a novel. The novel as a genre has many definitions, I will not give them here, I will only mention an element that is important for our conversation, without which a modern novel is impossible. This is the growing up and inner change of the hero. If the hero came to the end of the work, being not the same he was at the beginning, most likely we have a novel. Another question is how the hero came to these changes.

And here the third aspect is important — the way the story is told and the ‘language’ used by the authors.

Act I

Dracula begins with a young man standing in the middle of a dark forest and waiting for a carriage that will take him to the medieval castle of some mysterious Count. A girl comes out of the carriage in which the young man reached this place, and asks him to take the crucifix with him, assuring him that he will certainly need it. The carriage leaves, the young man remains in the forest.

Look, you can ‘exit’ from this scene both into a gothic novel (in principle, an entertainment genre, to which you can add a couple of additional meanings if you wish) and into an alchemical story. The exposition will be the same. Let’s suppose we are talking about an alchemical novel. For now, just suppose.

Dark forest is a place between worlds, between everyday life and the other world, between consciousness and unconsciousness, between daytime reality and nighttime. Place of transition, no one’s land. The laws of consciousness are no longer dominant here, but the unconscious does not yet dominate. You can also talk with those who live in the real world and get from them the so-called ‘magic item’, which may help the hero in the future, but it is already difficult to return. And — what is important — you can only travel further with a guide from the unconscious. Carriages from the outside world don’t go there.

The young man is picked up by a strange cart with a mysterious charioteer, after which, having driven some distance through the forest, he finds himself at the gates of an ancient castle. Going inside, he sees an empty room and a table set for dinner. This is the second point of transition if you follow the logic of archetypal storytelling. While Johnny is nothing more than a guest, a stranger, a man who has nothing to do with this castle or its inhabitants. He crossed the border of the unconscious but did not enter into a relationship with it. And here he does what the fairy tales strongly advise against doing to everyone who finds himself in such circumstances — he tries local food.

The game is on. From that moment — not from the first bite, but from this moment, Johnny enters the reality of Dracula, the reality of his castle, and begins to interact with forces that are incomprehensible and beyond his control.

But this is not the most interesting thing.

Let’s skip the moment of the Count`s appearance — here the authors again make a nod to the gothic novel, and the whole situation logically unfolds like an old horror movie, exactly until the moment when several new details appear in the narrative.

The first is the invisible inhabitants of the castle, who write on the glass with inverted letters ‘save us’, and the second is a journey through the castle-labyrinth and the discovery of the map.

Remember I said that this story could be a gothic novel, and the plot is quite like a gothic novel? So, forget it. From now, there is no way to return to this genre. The gothic novel is about controlled horror. It’s about tickling your nerves in a safe environment. In this form, it moved into the cinema and settled there in the form of horror films. It has no other functions and building blocks. Moreover, the symbolic details. The scary house there is always just a scary house, and the worms crawl out of the walking dead because it looks disgusting, and the viewers love the thrill.

But let’s back to Dracula.

Why are the castle-labyrinth and map important? On a metaphorical level, the house represents a person, that Self that a person knows, ‘builds’ throughout life and which belongs to it. A castle-labyrinth in which it is easy to get lost, which does not have a map, indicates a lost person.

And it was not Johnny who was here lost.

Have you ever thought about why, after being sucked dry and killed, the lawyer threw himself from the roof of the castle and was fished out of the river by fishermen, Dracula did not leave him alone and went to the convent after him?

What does this ‘bride’ mean to him, in no use as a food, dagger stares and pursed lips, and even threatens to fight Dracula while walking on the ground? Although it is doubtful he could fight — he could barely keep his feet.

Pride? Wounded amour-propre? A sense of ownership?

No.

In order to understand why Dracula came for Johnny, you need to return to the search for the map and remember where Harker found it.

In the depths of one of the corridors of the castle hung two portraits — the image of the architect who built the house and his wife. About which ones the architect himself refers in his notes as the Moon and the Sun.

It is noteworthy that a woman is the Sun here, while in the alchemical tradition, the solar energy is male, and the lunar energy is female. I think this is part of the inverted reality of the Count`s psyche, where landmarks are confused and roles are changed. For what it’s worth, such landmarks are enough for Harker to find a way out.

But it’s important for us to understand who Johnny is.

He is not a victim of Count Dracula. Rather, from the point of view of the plot, he is his victim, but at the symbolic level, his function is completely different.

Jonathan Harker is a figure from the outside world who comes to the house of a person whose psyche is immersed in chaos, who himself does not know what is in his house, and is able to get lost in it himself, keeps monsters in the basement and feeds on them. This person has lost touch with reality in the literal sense of the word. (For anyone interested, read about literalized metaphors in British literature.) And then someone comes to him, and involuntarily begins to order his chaotic world.

It is no coincidence that during one of his conversations with the Count Johnny hears a crying baby. At the level of the plot, this is a real baby that Dracula carries for his next ‘bride’ imprisoned in the basement of the castle. But at the symbolic level, where all the inhabitants of the castle are parts of the soul of the Count himself, the baby is his split-off child self. Of course, destined for murder. And turned into a child of the night.

What happens next? At the moment when the process of ordering the psyche and contact with the outside world is launched, it is already difficult to stop it. Therefore, Dracula with a manic passion rushes to the convent and tries to regain Johnny. But the function of the guide has been exhausted. Other forces come into play.

Act II

The central scene of what is happening in the convent is undoubtedly the scene of the meeting between Dracula and Agatha. And in their meeting, everything is important, literally every detail. Strikingly, it is harmoniously built both on the plot and on the symbolic level. There is literally no redundant element there.

We will only note the main ones so as not to get bogged down in details.

The first moment — Dracula went out into the outside world, but he cannot just appear there. Until now, his whole life has passed in darkness — both literally and symbolically. We do not know what made him so, but he obviously at some point in his life fell back to animal, primitive instincts. Therefore, in order to leave his world and exist in the real, in the world of consciousness, he needs to transform.

This is the first transformation of the hero that we see — when at the gates of the monastery Dracula is ‘born’ from the skin of a beast.

Having been born, he approaches the gates, which are opened to him by a genuine, not escheat, and fake bride — Agatha. Anima.

And she doesn’t give him any indulgences.

In Jungian literature, it is often mentioned that meeting with an archetype is a difficult and rather painful thing. Especially if the person is not ready for it. And, of course, it is extremely dangerous to project archetypal qualities onto a real person who can represent them for a specific man or woman. But this is in life. And a work of art`s entitled to combine symbolic and real layers in one context.

Agatha treats Dracula harshly, in a semblance of an erotic scene, giving an outlet for his insane disordered sexual and animal energy, in some way, ‘shaking’ him and allowing his inner chaos to restructure and acquire a consistency suitable for connecting with the new and the unknown.

And then the victim, close contact, an attempt to absorb — and the hero falls into his Anima and at the same time goes to a new world on a journey on the water.

Act III

I think that the symbolism of water (amniotic fluid, the water of the unconscious, water as an information and life medium) is not worth explaining. But what is happening with Dracula in the sealed world of the mother’s womb — the ship, in order for no one to have any doubts, called Demeter, needs to be considered more closely.

From this moment, from the moment when his romance with Agatha starts and begins to develop, Dracula’s relations with other people become extremely important. Until now, he had no relationships with people. The ‘brides’ in the castle are nothing more than food and separate parts of his own personality. The first person he established a real relationship with was Johnny. And this — on one of the levels — is another reason why Dracula was so attached to him. You never forget first love.

On Demeter, the Count consecutively comes into contact with several people.

What kind of people they are is very important.

The first is still just a victim. A sailor-helmsman, whom Dracula eats only because he needs a specific quality that the man has. This is how children are friends with those from whom you can ask for a useful thing or write off homework. After the object’s function is completed, the friendship ends.

It’s more difficult with the Grand Duchess. This is a story about memory, desire, and youth, Dracula`s question to himself — can I be liked, and if I can, then why: because my appearance evokes memories of youth or because I am interesting on my own? The dance as part of their interaction indicates an attempt to ‘taste’ the relationship (the Anima looks in-depth with a smile) but turns into a bloodbath.

What is important here is that as the ship sails further into the sea, and the relationship between Dracula and Agatha becomes more and more intimate, the Count begins to get more and more nervous, and his instincts, at first completely tamed for a distant goal, become more and more out of control.

He collected these passengers in advance, calculating how many people he needed to eat in order to safely get to England. And in the first two days, he ate half of them. The tension rises, the anxiety elevates, no one is safe. Including Dracula.

The meeting with Dorabella on deck (I just want to say — ‘date’) is a naive attempt to flirt, a conscious — not a vampire’s natural — desire to please, a short, but independently built with great difficulty dialogue. The portrayal of her possible married life shown to the girl is a gift that is discouraging in its brutality. And the conclusion: no, nothing will come of it. ‘I am a vampire.’

But if you have already gone out into the outside world, do not expect that you will be able to hide. Whatever you think, but you have made your choice.

After the murder of Dorabella, the ship literally ‘boils’, the hidden truth comes to the surface in the literal sense, and Agatha reappears on the scene.

Act IV

Many viewers ask: why did Agatha take command of the ship?

And who else should be the captain of the ship called Demeter under these circumstances?

Falcons give way to turtle doves.

But let’s back to the text.

The confrontation-connection of Dracula and his Anima lasts for some time, after which it logically ends with immersion of both in water.

And here is another interesting point. The first part of the alchemical Work is completed, the hero went through two transformations, began to communicate with living people, and even made some progress, but in order to consolidate the result, the psyche must close off from the world and allow deep processes to take place inside. Therefore, Dracula falls asleep at the bottom for 123 years, and Agatha fell off the map.

In the XXI century, the updated Count discovers that everything has changed, but the hunt for vampires is still relevant, and he himself is quite ready for new achievements.

The trouble is that he has already learned the taste of the genuine, and therefore surrogates are not to his liking.

When I watched the film for the first and second time, I just couldn’t understand why Lucy was needed there. Silly, superficial, narcissistic, she has no interest in anything other than herself and her Instagram images.

‘How could such a girl interest Dracula?!’ viewers around the world yell. And they are right.

How indeed?

Well, she couldn't.

In order to understand what Lucy’s role in this story is, you need to watch the film from the very beginning. Then it becomes clear that Dracula’s relationship with her, their dialogues, interaction, jokes and flirting, her willingness to voluntarily let him drink her blood is a complete parallel, a repetition of the Count’s relationship with Agatha. Having found the experience of deep love within himself and has found a connection with his soul, the hero is desperately trying to reproduce it — and fails.

Review these scenes. How he looks at Lucy, how he walks arm in arm with her, how he tells her what a brave and extraordinary girl she is, how he holds her on his lap, and asks where she wants to go. In fact, he does everything he did with Agatha. But doing all this, he has empty eyes. An indifferent look, mechanical movements, and bitterness at the bottom. He has a young beautiful woman in his arms, she is obviously in love with him, although she hides it, she is ready for anything to make him feel good. And he is bored.

In the eyes turned to Lucy, not the greed of a vampire is — there are darkness, sadness, and endless repetition: ‘Not her, not her, not her.’

But the psyche, especially the psyche of an adult, does not simply abandon its habits, so Dracula repeats with Lucy the entire cycle that has already passed with all his ‘brides’. The catch is that Lucy is not attached to him, but to admiration for her own beauty, and when beauty disappears, their illusory connection falls apart, turning into horror and contempt. But here, too, not everything is so simple.

In the scene in Dracula’s house, where Lucy realizes who she has become, an important parallel arises.

Look. There are four characters in the room. The situation is difficult, tense, the conflict reaches its limit until it is resolved through love. But how is it resolved?

I mean, what does it look like structurally?

It’s very simple. The man and the ‘monster’ stand and watch the kissing of the man and the ‘monster’ next to them.

And then something happens not only with Jack and Lucy, who finally managed to find peace but also with Dracula. This is the highest point from which there is only one path — to catharsis. The fact that Agatha led him there is logical and obvious, but up to this point, he was not ready for it.

And the final scene. When all the pieces are on the board, all conflicts are realized and all the ghosts are brought to light, there are no enemies left. Except for himself. Except for that, which he didn’t allow himself to do. Except for the fear of being yourself.

The ending of this film is the pinnacle of the alchemical process. Transformation. At the level of the plot, physical death, freeing a five-hundred-year-old vampire and a woman who loved him for many years. And at the symbolic level — going beyond one’s own limits and gaining integrity.

Therefore, in the final, we see the sun. The sun is a symbol of a purified consciousness, transformed and fully realized itself.

Epilogue

For those to whom the interpretation that I have presented here seems strange or stretch, I will separately note the following. Any interpretation is, to one degree or another, a figment of the imagination of the viewer or reader, although, unlike postmodern literary scholars, I believe that there are right and wrong interpretations. And the correct interpretation is not at all what the author wanted to say. This is what the story wanted to say. Often they are not the same thing.

And the second, closely related to the first: no, I do not think that S. Moffat and M. Gatiss put such meaning in their story. I think that European culture, with its multi-layered nature and the ability to reflect on complex experiences through symbolic stories, is that powerful semantic field that generates such tales regardless of the wishes of screenwriters and writers. And that seems wonderful to me.

#dracula 2020 #bbc dracula #count dracula #agatha van helsing #meta

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