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ivanzplaid · 10 months

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Ok so I have this idea but I don't know how to write it. Can I get head cannons for Vincent Sinclair, Amanda Young, Billy Lenz, Otis Driftwood, Doomhead and Jason Voorhees if that's not too much. So they give their s/o a piece of clothing and their s/o returns it but they sprayed their perfume/colonge on it so it smells like them and the slashers reactions to finding that out. Thank you <3

im clearing out my inbox and i saw this and i screamed because I LOVE THIS PROMPT OMG??? adorable i love them all snd im screaming, you always give the best requests 😭

the slashers you chose are adorable theyre so perfect for this btw. ive been having some bill mosely brain rot so im literally rolling. i am adding leo barnes because yk i gotta spread my gospel about niche little characters i love, sorry man✊ but all other slashers are included!!

there are only 10-12 hcs per character this time because theres so many people my b💔

requests r open, masterlist is up!!!

Slashers + Leo Barnes x Gn!Reader + Giving back clothes (that smells like the reader)

Warnings: fluff, some wiseass comments from otis and doomhead, some trauma mentions from amanda, vincent & leo's source, like a LITTLE nsfw in leo's section.... mainly toothrotting fluff imma keep it real

Vincent Sinclair

vincent loves to be reminded of you, he loves to see himself in you ( or you in him ) because hes proud to have someone in his life as loving and gracious as you are, so he didnt hesitate to give his s/o a piece of his clothing

you wearing one of his sweaters, or even sweatpants, has him lightly smiling beneath his mask. he thinks you look like a piece of art in it, and wants to hold and touch you because of that

so after a few days of having it and wearing it, it was bound to smell like you. but just to play with him, you sprayed a little bit more of your cologne on, knowing he'll always think of you when wearing it

when he receives it, hes left wanting to be with you. youre on his brain, youve left him longing for your presence, something in his brain clicked. he'll be laying his head on your shoulder and laying with you, putting his head in the crook of your neck, or even painting you

he loves to be reminded of you, youre a comfort for him. hes unstable and unwell at times, so if youre ever not there or hes stalking his next victims, hes reassured by the thought of you. that youll be waiting or coming back for him soon

will steal your cologne to spray on himself sometimes. he cant hate, it smells good, you have taste. its a motivator for him sometimes, using it to get things done or complete projects that hes lost his spark on

has fallen asleep with his clothes on his face when you werent in bed with him. he didnt mean to, but he was so relaxed and tired, at ease for once, that he dozed off thinking of you

bo will think its ridiculous how he treasures those clothes and wears them more often, but vincents nature leads him to leaning back on you, and this helps with his anxiety or displeasure at times

hes reminded of certain memories you two have together when he smells it, reminiscing in those times. this may spark him to think of some more date ideas. it lowkey makes him more romantic because he wants to be greater for & with you

because of his childhood, stability and reassurance are things he needs, and this really helps him, both in the relationship and in his own life

Amanda Young

she is more than happy to give you her clothes, shes used to sharing and to have someone genuinely wanting her and to be reminded of her is something big

now she is a bit excited and suprised. she probably thinks you didnt mean to do this, and that your cologne/perfume accidentally rubbed off on the clothes she gave you, but its a happy suprise

is almost ashamed of how long she wears / doesnt wash the clothes. its comforting to know that you wore it, and lived in it, and was happy while doing so. she likes to have happy memories connected to her belongings, so this is meaningful

"You should wear my clothes more often- here," she says as she hands you a mound of stuff she thinks youd like. shes trying to be inconspicuous about it but you let out a slight giggle as you of course take it

likes to spritz herself with your perfume/cologne once before the day, it may not be the entirely same thing but she loves to copy what you do

will be more relaxed and in a better mood because of it, she'll be smiling a bit more often and giggling, and may even be in a lighter mood when shes out doing apprentice jobs

once she finds out you did it on purpose, she laughs and thinks its sweet how you thought if her and wanted to do this for her

will start to do it when you lend her clothes, making it a little tradition to spritz her perfume on anything you give her. it makes you laugh about how she picked up on it so quickly, but atleast your laundry hamper smells good now

the other apprentices and john start to notice her new perfume/cologne smell and are a bit curious, but she brushes it off. the others recognizing your perfume/cologne make her prideful to have and be with you, youre the thing shes most proud of

"I.. uhm, bought you more of your cologne/perfume, I noticed you were running low. And I know you really like it." she'll begin to memorize the brand and ones that you might like, surprising you with them as little gifts

Otis Driftwood

he loves sharing clothes, in fact, you two share a clothes drawer/closet. he thinks the moment you two shared a room was the moment your stuff was his and his was yours, he has a bad time with boundaries

he sees you one day in his t shirt and laughs, he thinks its funny that you wear his stuff casually. out of spite, he may steal one of your tops and parade around in it like an ass, but he does love seeing you in his stuff

however, when he gets it back, and is suffocated by your signature smell, he has two reactions. one is: "Aw sweetie what the hell *violently and dramatically coughs* im suffocatin' over here!" (he loves it)

and two is: "Oh baby.. you smell so good.. C'mere." he is going to be stuck on you and drunk on your cologne/perfume, yes he will be much more sexual, yes he is going to hover around you, entertaining you like this

he can never get enough of his s/o, and this only makes it worse. hes always thinking about you because the smell is always lingering in the back of his head

he'll get distracted easily and often forget what hes doing because hes wanting to be with you, or hes thinking about holding you. it'll be to the point where hes making his art pieces, configuring victims in the way he wants, and he just trails off

will hold you down and just rest his head in the crook of your neck so he can be at peace and smell your cologne/perfume, its calming to him and he does it to ground his mind alot

can and will bite you, little lovebites around your neck and collarbone because he has the urge to be close to you from your signature scent, its like primal urges with him

"Ohh Darlin'.. yer teasing me by smelling that good.." has very bad self restraint when it comes to you, he just loves you so much that he wants to show you

if grandpa hugo gives you any shit for wearing and 'fuckin up' otis's clothes, otis will not hesitate to defend you and call him delusional. is 100% at your defense because he doesnt let anyone shit talk you

Leo Barnes

leo may not care as much, he notices when youre actively wearing his stuff, but doesnt notice if some of his shirts are gone. he is a typical guy when it comes to that

however when he sees you in his clothes, its semi-comforting. its almost nice because he feels like youre protected, a vibe of "they're mine". hes a possessive and protective man, especially after his son died, he has an urge for you to be with him, and this is a way for you to be 'with him' in a sense

loves to come up behind you and rest his chin on your head, rubbing your arms as he secretly relishes in the sight of you. he is a is a secret physical contact love language guy if youve been in the relationship for a bit, it comforts him to know that youre there with him

when you finally give him back his clothes, he unsuspectingly finds out they smell like your cologne/perfume as he was going to wash them (which he quickly stopped, putting them to his nose to confirm his initial thought)

a sprinkle of nsfw... he secretly brings the clothes you spritzed your cologne/perfume on to his bed, shutting the door before laying down, holding it to his nose and jerking off, reminiscing on how tempting you are to do this to him, he'll be sure to confront you about it.. after hes finished

you'll see him immediately wear those clothes (casually of course, he cant let you think hes gone obsessed). its honestly therapeutic for him because of his trauma with loss of a loved one, feeling out of control and like he needs to have a sign of you with him

he'll confront you soooo normally about it, laughing and taunting you a bit about how you did this to torture him, since you knew he wouldnt be able to resist you. its loosened him up and made him a bit more soft. he'll laugh as he speaks and raises his eyebrows amused as you try to explain yourself

"So.. You drowned my clothes in your cologne/perfume? Not complaining.. the opposite actually. I'll be sure to get some more while I'm out," acting so nonchalant as he begins to mentally note the brand, hes now addicted to it because it represents you

will fall asleep with his head in the crook of your neck, or on your shoulder, because the smell comforts him to the point where hes able to be vulnerable, because he knows its you

almost makes him more possessive, he feels that youre his. the scent makes him more serious/stern when others are around, its literally primal for him, he cant help it

Doomhead

he thinks this is ALLL ridiculous, but isnt against it, quite the opposite, seeing you in his clothes makes him proud, and even if he teases you for it, he sees it as a sign of loyalty, and he ruffles/pats your hair when he sees it

"Well dontcha look nice now.. glad to see youre wasting my clean clothes" painfully an ass and sarcastic, but in one minute hes about to massage your shoulders because he needs to touch you since you look so perfect

if youve taken his sweatshirt or t shirt, he loves to grab you by the collar of it and pull you close, feeling a lot more in control snd dominant than usual

when you give him back his clothes, he tosses it aside, not using it or seeing what you did till he goes to wear it again (he js a STINKY man lets be real). when he finslly smells it, he laughs hard, knowing that you did it to get a reaction out of him, and thats what you'll get

he thinks its amusing, and he'll confront you in the most dramatic manner possible. putting and arm out and cornering you before slyly smiling, taunting you as he casually holds out the clothes

"Very amusing toots.. I love what youve done with it. You think I wouldnt notice?" after that hes going to drag you away, teasing you and giving you lovebites, tracing his finger over your shoulders, he wants you to know how much he likes it

can and will wear it to 31 if he can, hes not gonna tell you he did, but smelling you jolts him with motivation, especially when he knows he has a long night ahead of him

secretly steals your cologne/perfume if hes missing you, will snort it like its coke, but he needs it to stay stable for the moment

will hold onto you as you fall asleep in bed now, his grip is tight, he wants to fall asleep and wake up to your smell, it is oddly comforting and gives him a deep ass nights sleep

is a bit more in affection now because hes growing, he wants to be closer to you in any situation, his connection and relationship has grown deeper strangely because of this

Jason Vorhees

jason has very.. limited options for clothing, but his mother taught him well, so he shares like a gentleman. he'll even put it on you, gently placing his coat on your shoulders, or sliding you into his loose t-shirt

it brings him soso much joy to see you in his stuff, hes happy to know that you love it too, that you love him. seeing that its a bit big makes him smile, its funny how you still wear it even if it doesnt exactly fit

flaunt the outfits to him and he'll worship you, thinking of how good you look and how hes going to be lending you a lot more clothes, especially if you like it. if youre happy, hes happy

when he gets the clothes back, going to fold them back up to put away, he gets a sniff of them, and to his surprise, they smell lovely, they smell immensely like you. at first he assumes its just because you wore it so much, but he does inside love how abundant the cologne/perfume is, he relishes in it

is veryyy happy to see you the next morning, in an even greater mood than before, hugging you and picking you up everywhere, something about you is just a pick-me-up for him

youll see him wearing the outfit you had on.. no relation to anything, he just takes inspiration. however youll catch him holding a sleeve up and closing his eyes, and thats when you question him, which leads him to trying to shrug the topic off

youll say that you put some of your own cologne/perfume on for a little surprise, and thats when he realizes how lucky he is to be with you, he thinks youre so considerate for it, it almost reminds him of his mother, because she used to spray her perfume everywhere, giving him soft memories about him growing up with her, so this behavior is almost encouraged and is very comforting for him

he may start to want his own cologne after this, to match with you, and so he can smell good for you. he'd want the scents to match, and for his to compliment yours, because its the only right way in his mind

hes proud to be so lucky to have someone like you, wearing your cologne/perfume often, and spritzing it in moderation for when hes out hunting, still wanting to be reminded of you

he likes to have you lay on him while he sleeps, so that he can be close, trace your features, and be at totally contempt with his life

Billy Lenz

now billy is ecstatic about you taking his clothes, hes jumping off the walls and screaming in joy because you wanna even touch and be seen in his stuff, since hes used to being treated like a monster

he wants you to show him IMMEDIATELY what you look like in it, and hes going to be all touchy touchy, admiring you from every angle, maybe even stealing someones camera to get a photo

"Billy's pretty little piggy.. in his own shirt!! Too pretty.. too handsome..." he says as hes breathing heavily in your face, thinking hes acting normal

hes basically tracking when hes gonna get the clothes back because either way hes going to go insane and smell them and wear them and hold them

when he smells your cologne/perfume, he freezes in excitement before running to you, asking what you did and how you need to spray him with it and how he needs to hold you and cuddle you now because he needs to smell it again

when youre gone hes rummaging through your room, endlessly searching for your cologne/perfume, and once he finds it, not only is he going to douse the attic in it, he may slip a teensy bit into his drink... yes hes insane, he wants your essence to be inside him

charges at you and clings because hes in a trance of his own mind, your scent making him intoxicated for you now, hes obsessed with you and everything about you

speaking of this, he begins to notice the even littler details about you, like the hair wash you use or the selfcare/nail polish/clothing type you wear, he gets excited from memorizing every little detail about you

will growl if someone is getting too close to you and complimenting you & your cologne/perfume, even if he cant really be seen with you, he wants and needs everyone to know that hes claimed, and has got you

"Billy's piggy is so intricate... so detailed! Billy just wishes he could live in your skin for a day.. to see what you see!" morbid, yes, but he genuinely wants to see what you see, because if your little details are that impressive to him, he believes that what you choose and do in your ever day life is even better

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last-herondale · 1 year

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“Honesty”

Twilight x FemReader (Team Jacob)

Swearing, angst

Tw: mention of abuse, death,

A/N: Hellllooo. I had a scene idea where the reader, who is Jacob’s imprint, has an uncomfortable conversation with Edward Cullen, basically calling him out on his bullshit. This scene takes place during the events of BD pt 1; before Bella gives birth.

I have other fics that follow this head cannon that I will link below, if you’re interested!

Enjoy 🤘🏼

Forks had always been lovely to you, especially in the Fall. Leaves scattered the ground outside of the Cullen’s house- or mansion was more like it- and the wind was blowing softly through the trees, making a calming music under the night sky. Jacob, Leah, and Seth had gone out on patrol. You had been out for most of the morning and afternoon, monitoring the makeshift parameter around the Cullen house for any signs of Sam and his pack. His pack. The idea still felt odd to you, that there would ever be more than one pack. But Jacob had broken the bond. He was his own Alpha now.

It was never a choice for you, not really, when Jacob left the pack. He was your tether to the world. Wherever he went, you would follow. And so here you were, aiding the love of your life in protecting the girl he loved, and her unborn child. You wondered what you had done in your past life to have made fate design your life the way it had. It was starting to become slightly humorous. You sat on the bottom of the Cullen’s steps, leaning your body on the sleek siding and resting your head. You were exhausted, both mentally and physically from the past couple of days. Constantly being alert, constantly being in wolf form, was draining to say the least.

“You are more than welcome to use a chair,” a cool, familiar voice said behind you. Your body tensed instinctively, as the eerie silent presence of Edward Cullen stood beside you. “I’m fine here, thanks,” you muttered. Edward said nothing but took a few steps closer. “May I?” He asked, indicating to the spot beside you. You just shrugged, refusing to look at him. He sat down next to you and sat there in silence for a moment. The smell of him, the sickly-sweet stench of a vampire, crept into your nostrils. You had adjusted to the smell months ago, during the newborn battle, but even still, it made your body tense.

“How is Bella?” You finally ask. You had seen her before going on patrol this morning, and she looked as she had the day before. On the cusp of death. Edward clenched his jaw. He wasn’t going to admit she was worse, and so the two of you just sat there. “You are very hard to read,” Edward finally said. That made you turn your head towards him, your eyebrows arched. “What?” “You’re different then the others. I’ve never been able to get quite a grasp of your thoughts. Just snippets here and there,” he said this as if he was mildly frustrated.

“You can’t read my thoughts?” You asked, slightly amused. “Not exactly,” he admitted, “I can still read bits and pieces, like strong emotions or muted memories… but specific thoughts no, I cant. It’s similar to Bella’s father, Charlie, but a little bit more difficult.”

“Well,” you sighed, “I’m not surprised.” Edward gave you a patient look, waiting for you to continue. “When I first joined the pack, they had a difficult time hearing my thoughts too. I could hear them down the bond just fine, but I sounded muffled and far away to them. They don’t know why I’m like this, but it seems as though you’re not the only one who can’t crack my head.”

“How does that work then? How do you communicate with them if they can’t hear you?” He seemed genuinely curious, and you just shrugged. “I don’t know, I just learned that yelling certain thoughts down the bond can break through. But I prefer it this way,” you said, “I don’t need everyone to know what’s in my head.”

It had been an unforeseen blessing. For whatever reason, your mind was guarded in a way that you didn’t understand. It was how you were able to hide your imprint from Jacob and the rest of the pack.

Edward was quiet in thought for a while, and you wished he would leave you alone. He was the last person you wanted to talk to. “I can hear that you know,” Edward said quietly. “Hear what?” You asked in a flat tone. “Your anger towards me. You’ve been feeling that quite strongly today.” He said it so matter of factly that you glared at him. “Is that why you’re out here? To figure out why I’m mad at you?” You asked between gritted teeth.

“I would feel better knowing, yes.” He said cooly. “Feel better?” You laughed bitterly, “why would I want to make you feel better, after the shit you pulled today?”

You bit your lip immediately after the words came out. Edward’s face softened slightly as realization hit him. “Ah,” he said, “this is about what I said to Jacob.” You clenched your jaw when he mentioned his name. You had heard the conversation play over in Jacob’s head repeatedly this morning. He couldn’t hide his thoughts from you, and you were infuriated with what had occurred.

“She could have a whole litter of puppies if that’s what she wants. Please Jacob.”

You gritted your teeth at the memory. Edward had wanted to use Jacob for his own purposes. He knew Jacob’s willingness, his absolute need to keep Bella alive, and he was willing to further shatter Jacob’s heart in order to achieve his goal. You had nearly convulsed with anger that morning, and kept far away from Jacob and the Cullens.

You stood up and began walking away from Edward, anger fueling your tired body. Suddenly he was in front of you, his face looking at the ground apologetically.

“Please understand, I was trying to save her,” his voice sounded oddly strained, “I wouldn’t have asked him if there was any other way.” You said nothing, your heart pounded as you moved past him and continued into the woods. “I understand that you love him (y/n)-“ Edward said loudly. You spun on your heel, red blazing in your vision as you stuck your finger in Edward’s face.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You hissed, “You understand nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!” You kept your voice low, so as to not alert anyone in the house, or any of your pack that might be close by. Edward did not flinch from you, but he held his gaze that almost seemed sympathetic. You wanted to punch him.

“I may not know the full extent of what imprinting means,” he began cautiously, “But I know enough of what i can see through your eyes when you are around him. I’ve at least felt a fraction of your imprint bond with him, and even then I know how far that connection lies.”

“You know nothing,” you spat again.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for him?” Edward challenged, his voice steady and low, “to keep him safe? To protect him?”

You gave a dry laugh, “is that what you think love is? Protecting and shielding? Is that what you’ve done for Bella since you’ve known her, because you’ve done a stand up job so far.”

Edward gave a low snarl at the mention of Bella’s name. “Oh shut the fuck up,” you snapped, “You do not get to have a pity party with me right now. Not after everything you’ve done.” You had never been so short with Edward before. You had always kept your emotions at bay, not only for Jacob’s sake, but for Bella’s as well. But today was not one of those days.

“Yes, I imprinted on Jacob,” you hissed, hating to admit this under these terms, to Edward of all people. “From the first day I met him, we have been bonded in a way that you will never understand. Do you know what that means?” Edward said nothing, his lips stayed in a hard line, letting you continue. “It means that for the past year, I have had to endure his pain, his anger, and his heartache.”

The words felt almost freeing to say, to admit out loud. For so long you had to conceal these emotions, curb your thoughts in order to play as the peacemaker. “I am there for him in any capacity that he needs me to be. I try, in every way possible to piece his heart together from the damage that she has inflicted on him since she moved here!”

“Do not blame this on her!” He growled.

“Is she blameless though?” You snapped back, fury grew in your chest. “The way she uses Jacob for comfort, strings him along to make herself feel whole, all the while he gets the short end of the stick? Tell me how that isn’t her fault?” You felt the transformation at the base of your spine. Your body wanted, no- needed a release. Usually you were so careful, but right now your emotions were spilling out at a dangerous pace. Dangerous thoughts filled your head. How life would have been like had Bella never shown up to Forks. How much heartache everyone would be saved. Then you wouldn’t have to be having this stupid conversation with Edward Cullen.

You knew by the look in his eyes that he was able to pick up on a few tidbits of your thoughts. You thought maybe he would lunge at you for thinking of Bella like that, but instead he just sighed and crossed his arms.

“You don’t mean that,” he said calmly, “You don’t blame Bella. You don’t hate her, no matter how much you may try to convince yourself to.”

You clenched your hands. You hated him telling you what you thought, but he was right wasn’t he? You didn’t hate Bella. You never did. The two of you had become close friends over the past year. Whenever she wasn’t with Jacob, Bella oftentimes found herself at Emily’s house- talking with you. All of the memories you had with Bella, the gentle, shy, and rather determined girl that she was, flooded through your mind, cooling the fire in your blood. She was one of your best friends. You had even been a bridesmaid at her wedding. That’s why you could never force yourself to hate her, even if Jacob was in love with her.

You narrowed your eyes at Edward, embers of anger still simmering in your blood.

“You’re right, this isn’t Bella’s fault,” you agreed, “it’s yours.” Edward kept his mouth shut, almost as if he agreed with you. “When you left Bella, you destroyed her. Mentally, physically. She was as good as dead!” You hissed. Edward flinched at your words but you kept going. “When you left, he helped heal her heart. He drove himself mad trying to make her feel better, all while struggling with his own transformation.”

“Jacob does so much for her,” you said in a shaky breath, “He has risked his life for her, he deserted his family to be here for her, he nearly died-“ you choked off the last word. The image of Jacob being crushed by the newborn made you sick to your stomach.

“Bella is alive because of him, and yet you have the audacity to ask more of him? To use him as a pawn? He deserves more than that.” You finally finished. “Do you think you’re the only one who risks losing everything if things don’t work out?” You hadn’t been stupid. You knew the likely hood of Bella’s death if she was determined to have this child. You knew what chain of events that would lead too. Edward had already proven what he would do if he lost Bella, and you had seen Jacob contemplate similar outcomes in his head, many of them were too painful to watch.

Edward gave you a sympathetic look, and his face softened. You wondered what he saw from your thoughts. If your words were enough to reach him in any capacity.

“I’m sorry,” he said gently, “I truly am. For everything. I’m just terrified that I’m going to lose her…” for a moment he even looked vulnerable. You had never seen him like this. And you never thought that once this moment came that you would feel… pity for him. After everything.

“Look, Edward,” you began, uncertain of how to approach him, “I know you want to protect Bella. I know what it’s like to have your whole existence revolve around someone. I know what it’s like to want to do everything you possibly can to ensure that they are safe, to want them to be happy, to feel loved…but sometimes we have to take into account what they want, no matter how much it may kill us.”

“Jacob may never stop loving Bella. He might always choose her, no matter what I do. And that’s his choice. I would never want to force him to be anything or anyone that he isn’t.” The words stung as they left your mouth, but they felt true, rumbling deep in your chest.

“ And you need to do the same for Bella. She wants this baby. She is choosing to have this baby. You cannot force her out of this without risking her hating you for the rest of your life. I know you might think that’s the better alternative, that at least then she would be safe, but hate and resentment has a way of killing just as fast. Besides, Bella is stronger than you think. How many times does she have to prove that to you?”

Edward thought on your words for a moment. The night sky burned its stars around the edge of the forest. The wind was cool against your warm skin and it blew tendrils of your hair around your face. Edward looked thoughtful, his golden eyes pierced through the night. Finally, he stepped closer to you and put a hand on your shoulder, his skin hard and cold to the touch.

“Thank you, (y/n). I needed to hear that.” Edward removed his hand off of you and put his hands in his pockets. “Fear is such a human emotion, and I think it has brought out the most desperate side of me as of recently. I am truly sorry. For everything.”

The two of you held eye contact. Words felt meaningless at this point. Your brain was tired and your nerves were fried. You felt as if you bared your soul. You never felt more exposed and raw as you did then. Whats done is done. You just nodded to Edward and turned towards the forest and began walking. There was no point in resting now, so you decided that you might as well join the patrol.

“I wont mention this to him,” Edward said softly, low enough to where you could hear as you walked away, “I hope one day he realizes just how much he is loved.”

And with that final tear in your heart, you shifted into your wolf form and ran off into the forest, leaving Edward Cullen alone in the dark.

#twilight fic #twiligh x reader #team jacob #jacob black x reader #fan fic author #edward cullen #twilight #imprint #soulmates #werewolves #vampires

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randomwriteronline · 4 months

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I wonder if the toa mata recognized themselves in their own memories from before mata nui.

I dont know, i think theres possibilities to be explored about that. Suddenly remembering yourself and what you find being a complete stranger is a common thing for amnesia plots i guess but also i think this could be even more jarring. Like a more genuine difference between killing machine and living being.

Its less a matter of nature vs nurture and more a matter of nature with a certain type of nurture. Nature dictates they are powerful and driven and well meaning, but the way they are brought up produces completely different people.

Their first taste of life was a sterile room with nobody but each other and a disembodied voice reading out their duties, establishing an arbitrary hierarchy within them, and then sending them to a glorified bootcamp where a ruthless instructor worked on making them into skilled combatants and nothing else, teaching them how to use their elements as tools and weapons without indulging in them; they got a vague sense of what and how a community feels like with the Av-Matoran - as outsiders, as its protective shield, there for them but not with them - only to get that stripped away from them too because their role as life saving tools to be preserved under glass just in case of a crisis was more important.

I wonder if the Toa Mata, the ones who were taken to the Koro of Mata Nui and listened to the Turaga's tales and reprimands and would have moved mountains for the Matoran who treated them like older siblings, return with their minds to things they said or thought or did from before the Island of Mata Nui and stop in their tracks. Whose memory is that, they think? That can't be mine. I am not like that. My siblings are not like that. Some things are perfectly right, they cant deny that; but just as many if not more are so wrong that they almost feel like a really cruel joke somebody planted into their heads.

Kopaka and Tahu got along, even if they dont want to admit it because they need to bicker like children or theyll die, but are more surprised that they werent as tentatively close with anybody else. Lewa remembers so much frustration and tedium and anger that if he stalls in his memories too much he genuinely starts feeling queasy, Pohatu has remnants of bitterness and passive aggression that still cling to him like the smell of a cigarette on someone who gave up smoking, and they both hate that because its nothing like them. Onua and Gali feel like theyre peering into some kind of imperfect clone's brain when they try to remember - its themselves, they know that, it has to be, but there are certain things they know about themelves that are just completely missing and its kind of dizzying to realize that.

Im not even sure they liked each other. They work together because its their destiny, but they don't seem to seek each other out for fun or anything else. In their training days they had to be shoved in each others direction or they would have never solved their obligatory group assignments.

I wonder if their terrors and flaws could partially come from this first life that they had too. Gali's fear of her anger and Lewa's disregard for duty stemming from Hydraxon's methods - she internalized his reprimands about feeling guilt for living enemies, but without any memory of him she believes the words resurfacing in her mind from time to time are her own, and is appalled by their cruelty; he was forbidden from enjoying himself, from indulging in any form of fun, of entertainment, of joy, and unconsciously now he rebels by shirking away from responsability to do whatever he wants.

The responses to Tahu's decision regarding the codrex haunt him, the whole situation, really; how he stripped his siblings of any say on their fate because he was the leader, not even telling them or explaining himself until they had no other choice, and if he could treat them like that once then what would stop him from doing so again and again until he doesnt even think about it? Kopaka is uneasy about it too. He knew the plan and supported Tahu only because he tagged along, but hes very, very acutely aware that he would have been left just as much in the dark as everybody else otherwise, and he would gave not even had anybody to seek any comfort from because hes fairly certain none of the others would have liked him enough to care.

Onua as @cantankerouscanuck pointed out to me mightve taken Hydraxon's teachings to heart, hence why he's so quiet: no use in expressing weakness, right? But karda nui must have been hellish on his senses, with all that light - a tangible physical discomfort that would bleed out into an emotional one as he becomes conscious of how none of his siblings go through this, thus he must be damaged in some way, faulty, out of place, and so he seeks to be alone, digging himself away. And its not hard to imagine how Pohatu (who hasnt had the chance to grow into the affable, kind toa his siblings can always lean on when they need to yet) would become convinced of his uselessness within the team and seethe about it.

They arrive on Mata Nui as broken war machines with no clue who they even are and suddenly find nature and community and love, and in a moment theyre people.

I wonder if the environment helped. Being thrown upon a beach in the open air with nothing but a whole world that is so alien and yet feels so right beckoning them to come closer. Discovering their powers and their domains freely, immediately - first thing they did was dive into their respective elements without a second thought, naturally magnetized, taking after them like it was the simplest thing in the world, because they are the first toa, the first beings capable of harnessing these powers in their whole universe, and its in their nature to be so connected to them. Maybe it helped. Maybe it made them feel connected to their own selves enough to figure themselves out in a way they couldnt have done so before.

Maybe it helped to find out their collective destiny each on their own, in their own environment, at their own pace, surrounded by younger siblings who look at them with awe and curiosity and frustration sometimes, guided by people who know how being alive works with all its good parts and messy bits and who can tell what having so much power means when youre barely aware of how to use it or what to do. And maybe it helped to find out who their siblings were in a similar way, introducing themselves as they wanted, as they felt like, without a specific order, and learning to recognize each other as siblings with all the things that make them insufferable and all the things that make them the best and what makes them happy and what makes them angry and how they sound when theyre worried and how likely they are to chase you down to the other edge of the island for doing something stupid, and like real people they grow and develop and change and stay the same, and then they meet the memory of themselves from before becoming people and its...

Idk. Its like the realization of who they used to be and the distance between themselves and those selves, and the fact that they dont like them.

#bionicle #toa mata #random talks #oh my god finally it shows up in tags. i had to email support and they still couldnt do anything for the previous version #sorry for the One Guy who liked the previous versions i swear I'll stop now that it finally works #but yea. many thoughts not necessarily coherent or well explained but i tried #i think of gali working alone and pohatus passive aggressiveness and lewa threatening to chew out tahu once they awake again #(i think of lewa being the first one to hear tahu laugh on mata nui)#i wonder if they sometimes acted or said something that made them look and sound and feel like before their stasis #and if it made them wince and hush uncomfortably or if they pushed through it despite the discomfort #i wonder if they talked about this. any of this. even if it wasnt pleasant.

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adhd-mess · 8 months

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I have so many thoughts about episode 8 but I'll begin with my favorite dumbass: Tusgaru Shinuchi, this is a little meta I made, it was supposed to be about him and Aya's relationship but I got distracted.

This scene is by far one of my favorites. I love Jack's just utter confusion on why they were chasing them. Like he can't imagine why?

"Chasing us? For what? Revenge? A cure?"

He doesn't get it. Because he wanted to be this hybrid, he had a choice whereas Tsugaru didn't. But what catches my attention in this scene is Tsugaru's reaction to him saying "for what?"

The most likely involuntary head raise, the widening of the eyes, the gasp. What Jack said triggered Tsugaru trauma. The curtain closes only for a moment on his performance of being the Headliner.

And then we get his memories coming in

A normal shot of Tusgaru standing in front of some body of water covering his face

Then it shifts and he's completely shaded black

He's shaded completely black as he remembers the torture, his trauma. To me it kind of feels like he's reliving his trauma . Typically when someone with ptsd is having a flashback they will think that it's currently happening to them--reliving it.

But that doesn't always manifest in the way we see ptsd portrayed(specifically with veterans)in media. You can relive a flashback, think you are there, but it doesn't show in real life. (i have cptsd as does my sister). Maybe except for eyes widening and gasping, and some others that aren't relevant.

To help bring someone out of a flashback you need to remind them of the present, he does this himself. Jack's question triggered a flashback but it also reminded him of why he was doing this.

The person who gave him a reason to "live", or better put, a better cause to die for--destroying the man who is to blame.

Aya Rindo.

or appearing in blood is just a power of the immortal and she knew Tsugaru was having a flashback and could have died either way Aya brought him back to reality.

He sees her in the pool of blood between his legs which is interesting but okay. And then our favorite Headliner is back

Our Jack here takes that the wrong way, I doubt he knows the double meaning that lies in those words. The meaning we learn in the first episode where Tsugaru says the only reason he keeps killing is one day he'll go feral from using his ability(? cant remember exactly)and kill his owner and all the people who support his and the onis abuse.

A little tangent here: Tsugaru's nonchalant and "dumb lug" attitude is the reason Tsugaru got the diamond in the end. He knows acting that way gives him a certain power, the ability of being underestimated. I know that's a given but I just love that

#ugmf #undead murder farce #undead girl murder farce #umf #tsugaru shinuchi

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potofstewie · 1 year

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Imagining

The things to know: AFAB! Reader, M. Masturbation, F. Masturbation, perverted! kyojuro, creampie (cant rlly call it breeding now can i?) kink

Pairing: Rengoku x Reader

W/C: 1.3k

A/N: I did a poll asking what y'all wanted to see once I finished my Haganezuka fic and my semi-joke option won (I was rooting for shinjuro but a pue). I didn't finish that one yet but I figured it'd be good to get this out regardless. Since this isn't your typical smut fic, I went a little extra with the details to make up for the lack of reader presence. Also for the folks that voted for Shinjuro...do you want head? ANYWAY ENJOY

Words/Phrases to know: Kakebuton - the duvet of a futon

This is submitted for @renhoeku's Rengoku Birthday Collab!

MDNI Banner by @/omiyours

Knit, unruly and thick dark eyebrows adorned the flushed and sweaty face of the Flame Pillar, incandescent and powerful half-lidded eyes trained on the ceiling, however he wasn’t taking in the appearance of the wooden beams. His kakebuton that was pulled just below his chin acted as almost perfect cover for the private, intimate act he was performing; his hand creating the puffed up lump in the covers that jumped at a steady pace. With a soft inhale, Kyojuro swallowed thickly, rehydrating his throat that was left dry due to his agape mouth. A broken yet barely audible groan escaped into the hot air of the room as Kyojuro felt slight shockwaves traverse through his muscular body; an early sign of the moment that was to come.

The Flame pillar never really did this, pleasuring himself in the dead of night while his loved ones slept in rooms nearby. But as of late, he couldn’t help it. How could he when all of his morning and night thoughts were filled with nothing but you; his body showcasing it in his underwear every time he rose and every time he crawled under the warm sheets of his futon. Your addicting scent, your captivating smile, your melodious laughter that made even the birds in the sky envious. Your eyes that were never empty; always holding copious amounts of emotion that made his flamed heart burn even brighter. Kyojuro’s hips bucked slightly upwards into his warm palm as a certain cherished memory entered his lust filled mind.

You came to the seaside with him and his brother one hot summer day; the cold salt water of the sea embracing you both while Senjuro stayed on land. It was merely by accident and Kyojuro didn’t mean anything by it, honest, but as he waded in the relaxing water he had lost his footing due to the strong pull back of the tide and collapsed onto you. The whole ordeal would have been nothing more than a simple mistake if it weren’t for the compromising position you both found yourselves in; his waist wedged perfectly in between your delectable legs, his muscular arms caging your head. Since then, that memory has plagued his mind almost every morning and absolutely every night.

An airy groan that was a bit louder than he had anticipated slipped from his throat as the image of you gazing down on him with a love filled look entered his mind.

“Shit..” The low spoken vulgar word slipped out in a sigh as Kyojuro felt himself sink into delusion. The ceiling seemed to disappear from his eyes as the imagery of you raising and lowering your nude body in time with his hand filled his vision. Kyojuro could no longer feel the callouses from his hand rub against his shaft, instead the once hard touch taking on a more warm and soft tone. Fiery eyes nearly blurred at the delusion of your breasts moving with every pump of his hand, his pectorals could practically feel the weight of your delicate hands. An almost mute moan passed through his lips as he imagined the feather soft touch of your lips peppering his neck with kisses.

As his flame colored hair stuck to his neck and forehead with sweat, another cherished and private memory filled his thoughts.

You were both on a joint mission, resting at a wisteria house for the night before continuing on your journey. Kyojuro had only passed by your room to reach his, however his silent footsteps stopped in their tracks when his ears picked up on your voice through the shoji. Straining to hear, Kyojuro’s owl-like eyes opened even wider once he heard the sweet little moans escape your mouth; soft squelching noise accompanying them. Kyojuro bit his lip as it fully dawned on him the intimate act you were doing, feeling himself get harder and harder with every whimper.

The sliver of light from your slightly open shoji landed on his face as he repositioned his stance, his eyes trained on the mesmerizing view before him. With your eyes shut and your exposed nipples erect, your body was splayed bare facing his direction however you were too lost in your lust to feel his presence. Your legs were spread wide apart and Kyojuro honed his sight onto your enticing cunt; the body part gaping open as your fingers danced and played with your swollen clit as well as sink into the wet opening.

He felt so wrong doing this, standing just outside the thin sliding door that separated the two of you, palming himself through his now undone yukata. But, alas, the tingling and warm eroticism of the situation overpowered his sense of common decency. A more primitive, carnal part of him wanted to walk in on you, to offer his help to the sexual predicament you found yourself in, but Kyojuro wasn’t too far gone to actually follow through with such a thought. Instead, he stayed there, exposed to the empty hallway for all to see his inappropriate actions. He couldn’t hold back the immediate release he felt when he heard your moans carry a more airy and higher pitched tone, hawk-like gaze drinking in the contractions your body did while your creamy nectar oozed out. He remembered how scandalous it felt, wiping up the wasted cum that fell onto the floor and quickly leaving before he was caught. He felt strange, thinking back, of the immense disappointment he felt knowing that his cum would’ve been better utilized if dripping from your cunt rather than pool onto the wooden floor.

With his other hand twitching as it rested on his abs, Kyojuro couldn’t help but buck his hips upwards as his orgasm traveled closer and faster. He would give anything to run his hands over the dips and curves of your body, to taste the flavor of your lips. His mouth practically watered at the thought of tasting the divine nectar that would ooze from your pussy as his rough hands found a home wedged in the fold of your hips, your legs resting on his broad shoulders. He wanted to sink into your warm embrace as he pistoned inside of you with fervor. He wanted to feel and see the plumpness of your ass ripple as he gave your gummy walls the rough and abusive treatment it deserved.

As if a giant bubble popped in boiling water, Kyojuro’s head craned backwards on his pillow as his orgasm finally arrived; restrained grunts rumbling from his throat. “F-fuuck..” Slowly and quietly rolled from his mouth as he relished in the uncontrollable moment. His eyes were screwed shut as he felt the warmth of his seed splatter and decorate his pelvis, drops of it traveling down his exhausted hand. His body twitched as the once restricting pressure that inhabited his body exited with force, his chest heaving with every hard breath that left his nose. Fingers from his idle hand ran through his messy hair before resting under his head as his other hand kept moving, trying his hardest to ride out the powerful orgasm to the fullest. With a labored sigh, Kyojuro’s eyes unshielded themselves and took in the disappointing view of the ceiling.

His thumb languidly traveled over his tip in a repetitive motion, absentmindedly spreading his seed on his sensitive tip as he sank deeply into his thoughts. He had to have you; to taste you, to fill you with his sticky, white cum over and over again. Of course, the lust that he had for you was merely a portion of the intense and passionate emotions he had for you. But when the noise of crickets filled the stagnant night air and sleep didn’t find him just yet, Kyojuro couldn’t help but imagine lustful images of you.

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ʙɪɴᴅ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏᴛᴏꜰꜱᴛᴇᴡɪᴇ™ 2023

Tags: @auraee @sulli1361 @wanderingfaee @kyojurosrealwife @comatosebunny09

#kny rengoku #rengoku smut #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku x reader #demon slayer smut #kny smut #rengoku x y/n #stew’s smut stew #kyojuro x reader #kyojuro rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro x Reader #original stew

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like-rain-or-confetti · 8 months

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The wrath of Jonathan Crane

WARNING: I cant find the warnings so this has MATURE, DARK CONTENT. There are themes of mental health/illness, mentions of suicide and grief. DO NOT READ if these themes will cause any triggers and/or distress.

Edward walked Jonathan to Jonathan's front door. Jonathan's expression empty as he turned the keys. "Are you going to be okay? I can stay if you need some company." Jonathan shook his head with a smile. "I'll be absolutely fine, Edward. Thank you for the concern." Jonathan replied. Edward nodded. "Well, if you need us at any time, pick up the phone. Any time." "Thanks." Jonathan replied. "Thank everyone for coming, please?" Jonathan asked. "Of course. Although i think we all know and were honoured to be there." Edward responded. Edward squeezed Jonathan's shoulder comfortingly before turning back towards the car in which Harvey waited in the drivers seat. He raised his hand to Jonathan who sent him a nod.

Jonathan turned closing the door behind him. The lights off, the house silent. Without warning, Jonathan threw his keys against the wall. They clattered to the ground but Jonathan simply walked into the kitchen shrugging off his coat and tossing it onto the nearby couch. A major difference to his usual routine of hanging up his jacket.

That night he stared at the empty side of the bed. Your side. It was cold and as Jonathan ran his hand along the sheets, he felt a lump in his throat. His wedding ring, glinted in the moonlight that peeked between the curtains.

A week later he changed the bed sheets. Taking your pillow cases and sealing them into a bag before putting them in a closet. He purposefully avoided looking at your clothes. He knew the time was coming to do something with your things. Pictures of you were scattered around the place. Atleast one in every room. It kept the feeling of you being around alive. Even if you weren't. Eventually, Jonathan stopped avoiding it and called Harley.

"I considered getting help from Edward until I remembered he was Edward and I'm not in the mood to hear how his royal highness has better things to do." Jonathan said flatly and Harley giggled as she stepped by him and into the apartment. Jonathan led Harley to his bedroom. Harley caught sight of the picture of you and Jonathan at his bedside. One of many wedding pictures. She smiled as she moved closer bending down slightly to get a better view. "I've never seen you so happy than I did on your wedding day, Jonny." Harley smiled at the picture. "That's because that was the happiest day of my life, Harley." Jonathan replied turning to the dressers. "If you want anything of theirs or think someone else would. Go ahead and take it. Better start with that." Jonathan told her. "Maybe we should start with what you want to keep, Jonathan." She suggested. "I don't know if I could Harley." Jonathan replied. "I can't decide if it's too painful to part with their stuff or keep it." Jonathan looked to the ground. "Hey," Harley moved to his side. "We're in this together. One piece at a time." She said gently. "Now, let's call Ed. He's the tech guy. He'll get their photos and anything else that are good memories. If he squeals then I'll kick the shit out of him for you." She finished and Jonathan hummed in amusement. "Much obliged." Jonathan looked down at his wedding ring. He wasn't really certain what to do with it. Harley noticed. "You know you don't have to get rid of that." Harley nodded to his wedding ring. "Lots of people keep them." "I know." Jonathan replied. "I told many patients that very same thing. I never understood it. It was just a bit of jewellery yet here I am now...I don't even so much stomach the thought of taking it off." "So keep it on."Harley shrugged. "Your heart still belongs to (Y/N)." "Nothing will ever change that." He shot her a smile. "So that's it then. If you want to wear that ring for the rest of your life then you do it!" She said.

It wasn't often when some of Gotham's criminals were all in the same room. However, the Bat had that ability to bring them together. Although very few could understand why they were meeting Victor Fries. Until Oswald pocketed something Victor held out of him. Ironically, the room was always icy when Victor Fries was around. Many with common sense walked on egg shells around him. Even Jonathan was careful with his responses. Although since you died, Jonathan didn't have the energy or patience to do such a thing. Naturally, all Victor was interested in was Nora. Jonathan spoke up making everyone on edge and stiff. "How long were you and Nora married? Before her condition that is." Jonathan asked. Asking Victor about his wife was dangerous territory. She was off limits and his only ambition was to save her. This often meant bad news for any who so much mentioned her. Fries considered the fellow criminals unworthy of even uttering her name. "Fourteen years." Victor replied, his gaze narrowing on Jonathan. Jonathan nodded the side of his lips curled into a small smile seemingly at the thought. "I didn't get that long." Jonathan remarked. He smiled but it was a bitter one. His tone daring anyone to utter so much of one wrong word. No one said a word. You and Jonathan had been married for nearly three years. The mark a mere three months away.Now, no one was really certain who to be more wary about Victor or Jonathan. "My deepest condolences, Dr Crane." Victor spoke with a monotone voice. Jonathan didn't respond and simply turned away.

Later that night, Jonathan felt the loneliness more than he had before. You absence was in the very air he breathed and couldn't be evaded. The living room was dark, illuminated only by the TV. Jonathan sat on the couch, a glass of red wine in hand. Your wedding video played. It had been you that was eager for a wedding video. Jonathan didn't care for one. He found the pictures enough but figured it wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like money was an issue. It felt so very long ago. Maybe even a dream. A dream that he had to eventually wake up from. He didn't remember dreams being so painful when they're gone. He raised his glass to his lips, mumbling to himself quietly before the glass would touch his lips. "To us, darling."

Harley and Edward practically dragged Jonathan out for drinks with them along with Penguin and Two-Face. They succeeded as it cost more energy to refuse than just drag him along. After all, this was hardly for his comfort. It was for their own comfort for his grief.

Humans are never taught how to live uncomfortably. Discomfort is always something that must be changed as quick as possible or the more that person suffers. It made them feel better that he was there tonight because then they don't have to fear being terrible friends or that Jonathan would be the next to go. He had little doubt such thoughts rushed through their minds.

"He's tinkering away with those little hats and he won't listen to how childish they are!" Edward exclaimed. "You can make plenty of those without all that bravado! That's coming from me! Style is a flare for detail but shouldn't be used to hinder your successes!" "So we'll know who's being controlled by the top hats on their heads?" Harvey spoke. "Exactly!" Edward exclaimed again. "He wouldn't listen to me. He got angry even! He should be thanking me for my wisdom!" Edward jabbed the table. "It's Jervis Tetch! He's hardly the next criminal mastermind." Penguin dismissed with a flick of his wrist. "Not with the hats." Harley giggled. "Oh!" She perked up before turning to Jonathan. "I can collect the rest of (Y/N)'s stuff in a couple of days if you want." "Certainly." Jonathan sighed. "Wait, you cleared their stuff?" Edward raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Enough time has passed." Jonathan nodded. "Shit. Good on you." Harvey began. "I couldn't so much as look at anything of Gilda's if I saw anything left behind. Not for a year." "Yes, well, I felt it was time." Jonathan lied. There was no way to be ready for that. "It was becoming difficult to move on with all of their stuff around." "So you're going to stay in that apartment? Honestly, I thought you'd want to get the hell outta there." Penguin spoke. "It was my apartment before I even met (Y/N).I've been there longer than they were." Jonathan replied. "I think about that a lot." Harley mumbled, her gaze locked on the table. "How they could have such an impact on my memory of your apartment. How it's not right without them in it."

Jonathan's jaw set momentarily before he spoke. "Here's what I think about." Jonathan began, sitting forward in his seat. "I was a fucking psychiatrist for eight years. I dealt with people who were suicidal from all walks of life. So how didn't I see it in (Y/N)? How did I miss it?" Edward and Harley looked at each other, the two thinking the same thought. "Maybe you were too close? There's a reason doctors don't treat their loved ones." Edward tried. Jonathan blinked. "Okay." He turned his head to Harley. "Harley, you were also a psychiatrist but you didn't share a life with them. Tell me, did you see it coming? Was my (Y/N) suicidal?" Jonathan's question was blunt. Most wouldn't be able to think of such a thing or dance around it. Tell themselves something to make it better. However Jonathan had dealt with pain so many times that he had no trouble speaking his mind. "Jonathan-" Edward began. "I was asking Harley." Jonathan cut him off with a cold stare. He looked back at Harley, jaw tight. "Did you?" Harley looked at him uncomfortably for a moment before she responded. "No." She said meekly. "I had no clue." "That makes both of us." He smiled cheerfully, but it didn't meet his empty eyes making him more intimidating. Although it was worse knowing it wasn't genuine and given the topic, it was actually masking his fury. "That's not unheard of Jonathan." Edward spoke. Jonathan shook his head with a sigh, sitting back in his chair. "It fucking eats at me. It's not right. It can't be. I should have been the first person to see the signs so what does this mean? I have no idea. No fucking idea." He smiled as though joking, leaning forward and tapping the table as he spoke. "Makes you wonder though, doesn't it? What else I didn't know?" His smile faltered as his gaze met Edward's, a shaky breath leaving Jonathan. "I want to know." Jonathan told him quietly. Edward, for the first time in a long time, was speechless.

Harley and Edward took Jonathan home. "You didn't have to do this. As I have already told you." Jonathan tossed his keys on the counter. "And as I told you, Johnny, I'm doing it with or without your permission." Harley chirped before flopping onto his couch beside him seconds after he sat down. "Now I gotta congratulate you. You stunned Eddie back there." Harley giggled and Jonathan smirked slightly. "Who knew it was possible." Jonathan replied. "Too right who knew, I kind of wish I took a picture of him!" She giggled. "Shut up the two of you!" Edward huffed closing the door behind him.

Harley giggled, eyes drifting to Jonathan. She did a double take on Jonathan before wrapping her arm around Jonathan's shoulder. "Seriously though, between you and me. You know we have your back right?Don't try to hide from us, Johnny. We know how much they mean to you." "Meant." Jonathan corrected. "No. Mean." Harley retorted. "Just because they died, doesn't mean you get to stop caring the second they're gone. You're hurt because you love them." "Surprisingly not the most idiotic thing you've said, Harley." Edward mused. "Motherfucker, I have a PH-fucking-D!" Harley snapped. "I know. That's why is so surprising that you can be so stupid." Edward responded dryly. "Don't you two start in my home." Jonathan sighed. "He started it!" Harley said loudly. Edward was about to protest when Jonathan covered Harley's mouth and then Edward's. "Both of you. At least wait until I'm asleep before you start acting like children." Harley rolled her eyes with a muffled "fine." Edward following suit. Jonathan dropped his hands. "I just...not even that very day did they?" Edward trailed off with a sigh. Jonathan seemed to understand what Edward was asking. After all, just about every fitting question, he had already thought about a million times by now. He dug into his pocket. "The last text I got from them was that they would be ten minutes late getting home so we might have been late going to the Iceberg Lounge to meet you." Jonathan's eyes were glued to Edward's, eyes wide in an intense stare. "That's it?" Edward asked quietly. Once again, Jonathan smiled in amusement. "Mmhmm." He nodded, swallowing thickly, unable to trust his voice momentarily. "No 'kiss kiss, your loving spouse', nothing. So do I try to sit and pretend that my spouse killed themselves and didn't even give an explanation why or a goodbye? That I understand any of that?" "I..." Edward trailed off. "I don't know." Edward grimaced at his own words, like the gave him a bad taste in his mouth. Jonathan smiled teasingly. "Well I'll be damned. Finally stumped you." Jonathan chuckled to himself. "Maybe there's no right answer for right now." Harley finally said. "It's hard and it's annoying but it is what it is." Jonathan rolled his eyes.

Night after night, he never could wrap his head around why you would do such a thing. You showed no signs, nor did you even get your affairs in order. This was such a fleeting decision. That was plausible but only with the context of feeling suicidal. Why would you talk about a future that you wouldn't be a part of? Knowingly? This was something that could have driven him to madness. He was missing a piece of the puzzle. Something brought you to that point and with that knowledge, all of this would make sense. He was certain of that.

Jonathan decided one morning to visit your grave. He hadn't been there since the funeral, unable to face the slab with your name engraved. Almost as though facing it would be to accept you were gone and he wasn't there yet. Not enough to move on by any means. He grew wary of the day he would be able to move on. He reckoned it'd come quickly given his isolating conditions of his mind. It was hard enough work to care for someone when they're alive. Trying to care for their memory in death was that much harder. Deep down, he was the mourning husband but to really show it... it'd only be a performance. Something he had no patience for. So if he seemed cold, withdrawn or uncaring when it came to his late spouse, well, so be it.

He was surprised to find he wasn't alone in the idea. In fact, someone had beaten him to it. "Jervis?" Jonathan called out as he moved towards the man standing over your grave, his hands in his pockets. "Mr Crane!" Jervis jumped. "I do apologise, I was lost in thought." "No need to fret...I'm just surprised to find you here." Jonathan replied. Jervis gave him a half-sad smile. "Indeed. I wanted to pay a visit to my friend, pay my respects." Jonathan scrutinised how Jervis looked fondly at the grave. As though it was you. It was another thing he observed of human behaviour. To him it was just stone. Yet to Jervis, it was a mark of the person you once were, never to be forgotten. That was peculiar, given you were married to Jonathan, yet Jervis seemed to show more emotion to your loss in a more consistent manner whereas Jonathan could not. "I haven't seen you around much." Jonathan stated flatly. "I've been keeping my distance." Jervis admitted. "I figured we have all the time in the world and given how much attention you've been getting from our friends. I thought you may appreciate the space." Truth be told, Jonathan was indifferent to being left alone by Jervis and bombarded by the others. Each meant nothing to him. However Jonathan was rather confused by Jervis' words. When someone dies, you hardly come to the conclusion that you'd have all the time in the world. Instead, most would be reminded of how brief life is and that you could lose anyone at anytime. Death waited for no one when time runs out. It had to be Jervis' confusion or perhaps his nerves as he made meaningless conversation in the very awkward company of a grieving Jonathan Crane. "How have you been?" Jervis asked lightly. "With all of this, I mean." He added. Jonathan exhaled. "Everyday is a new challenge." Jonathan replied. "I'd say I'm functioning but I'm by no means doing well." Jervis nodded. "That is understandable." He took a breath. "Try not to dwell too much, yes? I understand that will be very improbable but do what's best and let them rest." Jervis replied. "What do you reckon, Jervis? Do you think I brought them to this? Am I missing something?" Jonathan wanted to humour himself with Jervis' response. His mind tended to come up with bizarre things, some of them had a difficult to find insight. Jervis sighed, pondering the question. "I think it was beyond your control. I think when we ignore things, they don't leave us. They creep along behind you and then they bite." Jervis tucked his gloved hands back into his coat pockets. He turned as though to leave before pausing, looking back at Jonathan. "Sometimes when alone we can get such silly little ideas in our head." Jervis said lightly, eyes full of sorrow as he slowly shook his head. "Just like that, they control us." He sighed. "Chin up, Hare." He said softly before rising turning and walking away. Jonathan watched him as he left.

Even by the time Jonathan decided to head home himself, Jervis' words were stuck in his head. He was used to odd when it came to Jervis but something about his words stuck with Jonathan.

Jervis rarely acknowledged suicides. To him, there was no such thing. A silly comfort to settle him. A pretty lie to cover the ugly truth. So it was particularly confusing that he acknowledged what happened to you. Jonathan mulled over the encounter with a glass of red wine. There was something off- something blaring at him until he couldn't pinpoint what it could be. He couldn't disregard it either. As much as he tried to, his mind never strayed. 'I think it was beyond your control.' It was a comforting statement that many would provide but Jervis often spoke as a collective. He often spoke in plurals. 'We' instead of 'I'. 'Us' instead of 'Me'. Mostly because he thinks he's speaking in plural, referring to one of his delusions. Yet he was certain and oddly final. It wasn't in Jonathan's control alone, whereas, Jervis would have said 'it's beyond our control'. A self soothing perspective to assure both Jonathan and Jervis that nothing by anyone could have been done. Then again, Jervis didn't acknowledge suicides. He'd insist someone was slain by something no one could see. The red Queen or the Jabberwocky in their head got to them before anyone else could. Yet he spoke nothing of any fictional beings at the graveyard. It was a little bizarre that someone who couldn't acknowledge the reality of suicide would be able to mention it for someone he thought of a dear friend. Not to mention the partner of one of the very few friends Jervis actually has. Jonathan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he was just overthrowing things. Denial could be a slippery bastard if strong enough. 'I've been keeping my distance...figured we had all the time in the world.' Jonathan straightened slightly. It was unexpected to have just come to mind for Jervis it was out of character. He had no concept of personal space so why would be suddenly be aware of it? Because he wants to separate himself. Jonathan entertained the thoughts that tried to piece Jervis together- unable to stop. When people die, they don't get the sense of unlimited time. In fact, it made someone all the more aware of how brief their time in this world is. A reason of encouragement to live whilst you can and tell your loved ones they matter. He had more time. The thought hopped into his mind and he didn't quite understand it. Focusing on it he realised. He had met many murderers in his time as a psychiatrist and a criminal. Very few- if any- looked over their shoulder out of fear of their short lifespan. They're often comforted knowing they had a fighting chance against a possible attacker and even less have any empathy for the victim.

Your suicide was a shock to everyone, Jonathan included. Everyone...but Jervis- a man who couldn't stomach suicide. It didn't surprise him because he knew. That seemed crazy but another thought jumped to mind. 'We ignore things and they'll creep behind us until they bite.' A rather sinister statement to make, although did have some truth in it. Although the usual examples that come to mind are things, but what if this was a person? 'Sometimes we get such silly ideas in our heads when we're alone.' The memory hit Jonathan like a train.

All this time, he had failed to notice Jervis' specialty. It was assumed that you were alone since it was just you and Jonathan. Jonathan was out and out of nowhere -whilst making tea- you stopped and that was it. Perhaps you weren't alone at all and an idea- a sickening idea- was planted in your mind. Jonathan risked shattering his wine glass as he slammed it on the coffee table and rose to a stand. For all Jonathan knew- it was a silly theory but it clawed at him and he refused to ignore this.

His suspicion of Jervis Tetch, only grew by the second followed by his anger. The longer it marinated in his brain, the more energy he had. Living didn't take so much effort. There was purpose once more. Jonathan rose to a stand. Rage bubbled deep within him and only grew. It wasn't often he felt such strong emotion but there was nothing else it could be described.

Being with you gave him a better idea of limits, where lines could be crossed morally. What was not enough and what was too far. In such ways, you kept him in line. You weren't here anymore. There was no one to tell him those distinctions. Although this time, Jonathan had no interest in following any morals at all.

Jervis opened his door and look perplexed to see Jonathan. "Dear Mr Crane! What a surprise!" Jervis exclaimed. "Apologies for the lack of notice Jervis. This was rather spur of the moment on my part. I have something I'd like to discuss with you and have found your company more helpful than the others. Might I come in?" Jonathan asked politely, his expression stoic and expectant. "Certainly!" Jervis stepped aside with a smile. "Do come in!" "Thank you." Jonathan replied as he stepped inside.

Jervis' apartment was as messy as his mind. Jonathan wasn't even certain if Jervis was completely aware of his apartment or only noticed segments and the other pieces blurred away into nothingness. Not once did Jervis ever think to piece them together to get the full picture that was his apartment. Porcelain tea cups and saucers- some chipped splayed around the place, some on their sides and upside down. Playing cards were sprawled everywhere. There were a few candles, torn pieces of paper with scribbles and tea stained. Old weathered books.

"So what brings you to me...almost time for tea!" Jervis smiled. "Well, Jervis, because I think I'd like your perspective on things." Jonathan began. "M-Me?" Jervis seemed surprised again. "Does that surprise you? We are friends Jervis, are we not? Jonathan pressed. "Why of course! It's just- I didn't think you'd say such things." Jonathan smiled at Jervis knowingly. "Yes, well, I was never raised to be affectionate. My grandmother would often spit that I wasn't deserving of affection or love. 'You're a leech, Jonathan!' She'd remark. 'A sin that not even our righteous God could forgive. A demon born of wedlock.'" Jonathan smiled. "You know she'd pray at nights, pray for forgiveness. Beg to God that he forgive her for her sins and failing her son. Pray for the strength to repent for her sins by raising me." Jonathan spoke cooly, almost detached or nonchalant over such hideous things. "I couldn't decide whether she needed more than God's strength to raise me as she did a pitiful job that was only abusive or whether not even God's intervention could contain the force that was my grandmother. I made sure she knew sin she had ever done before I killed her. My one regret is that I didn't break her down and then kill her." Jonathan crossed one leg over the other which only emphasised how long his legs were. "I lost religion long before I killed her." He shook his head. "It was quite the relief." He added. "The idea of no heaven or hell. She'd just be gone." Jonathan let out a sigh. "That wasn't the case when (Y/N) died." Jonathan mused, much quieter. "No...no, when (Y/N) died, I found myself feeling sick at the idea that they just stopped. No heaven or hell.Just gone. So much that I think I've been seeing them sometimes. At night when in bed. I know when I see them that it's all in my head but I can't help but indulge. Do you understand? I thought you might understand that better than the others." Jonathan looked to Jervis who nodded quickly and sat in the chair beside him. "Oh I do! It's a comfort only the mind could bring! For its tailored to what the heart wants!" Jervis replied with enthusiasm. "Although it tragic." Jonathan nodded. "I thought you'd understand. You see, I told you this because well...(Y/N) was my proof that I could- in my own way- I could love someone and I did Jervis. My evidence against my granny. Even now, I love them endlessly. I find it strange that I was so disconnected from feeling such a bond to someone and now that they're gone, I'm detached once more." "From what I read, that is quite normal, Mr Crane!" Jervis chirped. "Would you like some tea?" Jonathan shook his head and raised his hand to dismiss the question. "What about you Jervis?" Jonathan asked. "...what about me? I'll make my own tea-" Jonathan cut off Jervis' response.

Jervis had only managed to stand up before he was stopped by Jonathan. "I mean to say, do you think -as my friend- did you think I was happier with (Y/N) than I was before we met?" Jonathan asked as he stood up. "Why yes, I do. That's a rather silly question, Mr Crane. You know if I could bring them back to you I would in a heartbeat!"Jervis proclaimed. "You would?" Jonathan tilted his head. "Of course!" Jervis said again. "Then why would you kill them?" Jonathan asked.

Jervis looked taken aback. "Is...is this a hypothetical question?" Jervis asked with unease. "Of course not. Why would I propose a hypothetical question when you definitively killed my (Y/N). I'm asking you - my friend and their friend- why would you kill them?" Jervis smiled warily. "You dare smile at me? Look at me like you have no idea what I'm talking about? Have you gone senile, Jervis?" An empty smile grew on Jonathan's face. "Mr Crane, I think you've gotten the wrong idea!" Jervis said nervously. "I wouldn't want to hurt (Y/N)!" "Of course not. That's why you got them to do it to themselves." Jonathan fired back. Jervis could only shake his head as Jonathan's gaze hardened on his. "All this time my granny thought I was the leech who sucked the life out of everything. That it was me who did not deserve love and could never get it. It was fucking you!" Jervis suddenly relaxed, blinking a couple of times and straightening his clothes. "Enough games, Jervis." Jonathan said icily. Jervis exhaled. "I did not lie, Mr Crane. I did not want to hurt (Y/N). They were a dear friend. I ensured it would be quick." "I'm not going to ask again." Jonathan replied.

Jervis sighed. "You're all so vain." Jervis began. "We all came from all walks of life yet you're all so very vain, Mr Crane." Jervis met Jonathan's gaze. "Even with all of those fancy certificates, you still underestimate me. As does Mr Nygma. Mock me, play me for a fool. You all look down upon me. Treat me lesser than yourselves. Like that is ought to be and what makes it worse is that you think I cannot see!" Jervis mouth twisted like a bad taste was in his mouth. "Tell me, my dear Mr Crane," Jervis met Jonathan's eyes. "do I seem so harmless now? Shall I take a bow?" Jonathan stayed quiet, a dark expression upon his face. Jervis took that opportunity to continue. "I never told a lie." He shook his head solemnly. "I assure you as I assured them. I did not do this out of hate for them. They were my friend just as you are. I did this for a lesson, Mr Crane. A formidable lesson that I am no lesser than you. Be it my smile or strange demeanor- it won't take away that i shouldn't be underestimated. The way you all speak of me like I'm not there, like I can't hear you. Better yet, the way you think I don't understand you but I do, Mr Crane! I understand more than you ever will." Jervis nodded to himself. "I knew you would be home late. I knew dear (Y/N) was home alone. Silly little Jervis must be lost again, hm!? They let me in and had no idea what I had put on their head until they realised they couldn't move- not unless I commanded them to. I held out my trusted watch so I could remove the hat. I gave my instructions. The next time they heard the whistle of a kettle. They would go to the roof and jump to their death. A tear ran down their face and I apologised and they were to never speak a word about what i said." Jonathan remembered that fourteen hours later, you had done exactly that. You had the kettle going and impulse seemed to just take over. Neither the police or Jonathan could understand why you'd go to make yourself tea and just walk away to the roof. Jervis continued, a hand to his chest. "I took no joy in any of this. They were my friend but it had to be done. I will not be overlooked again." Jonathan almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. Jervis hadn't liked a few comments he and the others had made so he forced you to kill yourself? As an act to prove himself? It tore at his insides to know you had let Jervis in, trusting Jervis and this was how he repayed you. "You see, Mr Crane?" Jervis asked. "I see, Jervis." Jonathan replied smoothly before slowly walking around the dining table. "Lesson learned then? No longer will I have to endure this bullying?" Jervis continued. "I understand, Jervis." Jonathan assured him. "You won't endure such treatment. I'll make sure the others know too." Jervis lit up. "Delightful! I'll make some tea-!"

Jervis was cut off when he was at arms reach of Jonathan, his hands tightly around Jervis' throat. He slammed Jervis onto his back and pressed down with everything he had. Jervis stared wide eyed as he choked, his face changing colour. Jonathan's stare bore into him, a vein popping out in his forehead. His face was calm but the fury in his eyes remained. Cold, deadly and endless. He couldn't even mind the discomfort in his hands as he squeezed. It was by no means easy to strangle a person but Jonathan wanted to drink in and savour the fear in Jervis' eyes before the light in them died. This was personal just as his act was and all he could think about was the fear you must have had in that moment. Let this be a lesson to Jervis and anyone who dared so much as dream of harming his love. The hatred in his darkened eyes, his jaw set. This wasn't even half of what Jervis deserved but he wouldn't live for not one more second- not when you didn't get to.

Edward was never home, so Jonathan knew to find him in his hideout. Edward knew something was wrong but the empty look in Jonathan's eyes, disheveled with droplets of blood along his hands with deep scratches. "What the hell!?" Edward practically stumbled back. Jonathan told him everything. From the visit to the graveyard up to the moment Jervis went limp.

"You...you killed him?" Edward whispered incredulously. Jonathan blinked at him. "Don't get me wrong! He deserved it! I think I'd have done the same myself. I mean to (Y/N)?" Edward shook his head. "I couldn't imagine laying a hand on them. Isn't that all the reason to suggest he...well, was confused?" "We let Jervis away with a lot of things because of his illness." Jonathan said flatly. "Time and time again it was out of grace. Poor Jervis doesn't understand, he's confused. Perhaps you've forgotten Edward- I have no empathy. I didn't touch him because he gave me no reason to, no reason to care what he did. Until he hypnotised my spouse to kill themselves." Jonathan leaned forward, an icy stare boring into Edward's. "So I went to him when alone, like he did to them and then I knocked him to the ground. Then I watched him die as I squeezed the life out of him." Jonathan smiled. "I enjoyed every second of it. In the time he wanted to prove a point, he forgot who he was dealing with. My sympathy for Jervis Tetch was that I didn't torture him until his mind shattered and kill him slowly." Jonathan took a calming breath before sitting back in his chair. "So what now?" Edward asked. "With the body? Everything." "The death certificate can continue to say suicide." Jonathan replied. "I want to leave their body be. I know the truth and that's what matters." "I...was talking about Jervis."Edward said slowly. "Let the bastard rot in there. With any luck, the rats will shit him out before there's anything to find." Jonathan's upper lip curled. "What about you?" Edward asked. "Business as usual." Jonathan replied. "I'm not going into hiding for that. Anyone comes to me about him, I've got nothing to hide."

#batman #batman villains #scarecrow #jonathan crane #one shot #oneshot #reader #warning #trigger warning #tw

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dorothy-rainbird · 2 years

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FORGOTTEN

Part 3

Warnings: Diluc and Kaeya are sus

Notes: Exams are over…the suffering…is over….I’m finally FRE- *gets smacked by multiple tests*

Here part 1 and part 2

Summary: You die stopping your brothers form fighting, but somehow live? You lose all memory of them tho and get transported to another relam. And then you meet four years later.

“THEY SAVED MY LIFE JUST A WHILE AGO.”

Traveler yelled in frustration and it made Diluc freeze. Like a deer caught in headlights. A million questions rose in his mind. Did he hear that correct?

“Master Diluc? Hey? Are yo-“

“Please go back to your room.”

And with that, he left.

Traveler groaned in frustration. Who is this mystery person? They took down those monsters form the pit so easily…Their head throbbed. Maybe some fresh air can help? Yes, fresh air would be lovely. Maybe a small walk around the vineyard as well….in some appropriate clothes of course.

They headed back to their room and changed into their normal clothes. It was hard to do that because of the injuries but they were unfazed. They could only think about the mystery person in silence. Speaking of silence, where is the silence breaker Paimon? Meh maybe she’s outside as well?

________________________

It was a peaceful sunny day outside. Just like the day when they fell into that pit of horror. Crystalflies were merrily fluttering among the vineyards with a soft glow. Traveler strolled among them, wanting to collect them but their aching body said otherwise. There were so many things going around! From a distance we can see birds in their nests, squirrels collecting nuts, Paimon arguing with Kaeya…wait- Kaeya? What was he doing here?

Next to the manor’s entrance, Paimon was yelling at Kaeya and angrily stomping her foot in air while Kaeya just crossed his arms and said something that seemed to annoy her even further. Next to them was Elzer who was desperately trying to calm them down.

“HAH! PAIMON BETS YOU CANT EVEN EAT GRAPES!”

“Now now, just because i don’t like grape juice doesn’t mean I can’t eat grapes.”

“Why are you two yelling about eating grapes?” Traveler decided to join in. Paimon perked up at the familiar voice.

“Traveler! Look! Paimon was just asking Elzer for grape juice and Kaeya had THE AUDACITY to appear out of NOWHERE AND MAKE FUN OF PAIMON FOR WANTING A DRINK!”

“I was just trying to greet you Paimon-“

“What kind of greeting goes “ew grape juice”?”

“Pfft” Traveler tried to stifle their laughter. It only further offended Paimon and she began ranting even louder.

“By the way what are you doing here Kaeya?” Ignoring the angry pixie, traveler now gave their attention to Kaeya’s strange presence at the manor. Why was he here though?

(If you look real closely you can see salt being rubbed on a certain angry marshmallow who was being ignored.)

“Don’t mind me, I’m here to pay a visit to master Diluc regarding some matters. Now, Elzer?”

“Right this way Master Kaeya,” Elzer bowed and began leading Kaeya inside the manor. They were about to enter when traveler suddenly called his name.

“Kaeya!” He was there in that picture. His blue hair and eye can’t be mistaken for somebody else’s. Maybe he knows who that child was?

Kaeya stopped in his footsteps and turned to the traveler.

“…nothing, sorry.” But traveler hesitated.

Kaeya stared for a second then huffed with a small smile and went inside, leaving traveler alone with Paimon.

…………

“HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING???” Paimon impatiently floated in front of the traveler’s face, waving her arms. They snapped out of their thoughts. Darn, they let another chance escape…

“What was that? You were staring into space.” Her tone was full of concern. Should she know? Doesn’t seem to bring any harm to tell her…

“Paimon, there was something in that room at the end of the ha-“

“Honorary Knight, hello!” It was Adelinde this time.

“Hey Adelinde! What’s up?” Paimon turned and waved at her as she approached them.

“Oh nothing much, I see you are recovering honorary knight.” She smiled at the traveler. They smiled back.

“I am, but pray tell, why is Kaeya here?” Curiosity got the better of traveler as they asked.

Adelinde’s smile was replaced by a sad look. She quickly tried to cover it up but the duo had already seen it.

“I think they are having a work related meeting. Im not sure.” She said but it also felt fake, like a lie.

“Adelinde, are you okay?” Paimon was confused at her behaviour.

“Im fine really! Instead I should be the one asking you, traveler you look pretty distracted by something.” She was right about traveler looking distracted though. They really can’t get their mind off that picture.

“Adelinde, can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“What is that room at the end of the hall on the first floor?”

______________________

Somewhere….

“Hey toots, whatcha doing here all alone?”

Alone on a rooftop, a (h/c) haired person sits and stares at the black and red sky above them. They didn’t notice the brunette girl approaching them until she called them out.

“Nothing much, just wondering about this damn pit…” they sighed. The girl lazily sat next to them.

“or are you wondering about those two?”

“…..”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“*sigh* It’s just…listen, I don’t believe in this “aura” and shit but there is something about them that felt so familiar.”

“…have you inhaled any toxic gases recently?”

The brunette received a playful punch on the shoulder. She giggled.

“No damn it. I just- ugh…even I can’t explain this…it feels so familiar like I…I-“ they stop mid sentence as they find themselves short of words. What is that familiar feeling?

The brunette was about to speak when a siren went off.

“Crap it’s happening again!” They both got up from their seats and jumped off the roof, reaching the ground running through the ghostly streets.

“Wasn’t this supposed to not occur until next week??” The (h/c) haired person asked clearly confused and concerned.

“I don’t fucking know! Just focus of reaching the top of the cathedral!” The brunette yelled as they both ran even faster.

#genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #genshin x reader #diluc #kaeya alberich #diluc and kaeya #diluc angst #genshin kaeya #kaeya angst #kaeyagenshinimpact #diluc genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #traveler #genshin traveler #dawn winery

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thepoeticbubble · 3 months

Text

Here the world wakes up, the sky unfolds, the clouds unclog like active acne, bloody hearts throb with a heaviness, salts seep in, amidst the freezed viens and cemented bones , everything is solid from the outside but gnawed from behind.

Infront of our house,few miles ahead there used to be a lake, the lake is orphaned , the stream about to be silenced , the birds about to be subjugated by thirst, the skin about to be parched.

I grow timid at prepositions else there's more to describe, what's beneath, behind,infront and after you. theres more to envision through imagery , but I can't figure out how to photograph it in words.i cant put everything in language even if I want to, I can't bake poetry everytime ,the oven of mind gets in distress ,sometimes the chimney doesn't clear the smoke off efficiently enough that I can cook the next prose. i wish someone would arrive and let open the windows to bring gush of fresh air without intervening my thoughts ,you will be Noticed not by my eyes but heart .

But my door bell doesn't ring anymore, its throat is lacerated and I don't think anyone visits here either, so it could make even the faintest sound.

It's not like city is out of stock , there is a plethora people but I think I exist remotely.

On days , I yearn to fix the bell but the thought of not being visited deliberately seems more repulsive , so I let the broken door bell follow the code of conduct ~ somebody might have tried to reach me but ughhh curse this doorbell

It is unjust for Inanimate things that surround me,dismembered by the loudness of my Grievances , sinking in a air of loneliness. I never ask them if they are fine because what if the reply is blasphemous.

But Some day some one will knock for sure, and i don't intend to send them back without a cup of tea , send them off annoyed by the smell of flashbacks of burning bread crumbs in fire , I intent to offer hospitality.

So, I mop the floor of my heart, scrubb off the dizziness , measure the diameter to have an idea of space left empty , I could be clear enough but why should I, I estimate the entire fleshy landscape is vacant and not even one thirty-sixth of yard is available in yours, I don't expect you to evaluate my measurements, how would the world care if my sound echos paradoxically, my thoughts appear convoluted , my mind a labyrinth where people stray in search of an exit but are Incapable of , where hope sits aloof and inert .

Here the walls are painted red with a mural that pictures thin blue branches stretching in and out the blind walls. Certain fissures depict that this framework has been susceptible to severe earthquakes from years.

In between the cracks, love's left a goodbye letter , an unredeemable heart ache , a kiss of death , verses of ill-omen never to be read by these fragile lips of life.

The realisation jolts my consciousness in exceedingly high S.I units that i decide to depart as soon as possible.

The road is forlorn, no busses are on business, no one promises a lift to home. It's said when you are overwhelmed, you must reminiscent memoirs from your good books , like a thought that would pacify the quarrels of your mind.

I sit on bench nearby try to recollect my address, which doesn't pass on through my head and i feel defeated down to my bones again. The pickle is what people say should be done , doesn't really compensate for my troubles because to retrieve a congenial memory at times of crisis means to uproot the brain and implant a fictitious spray of dopamine without thinking, this quick aid of "not thinking" vigorously mocks at me.

So, I take my head in my hands to wave off the ridiculous resolutions and again count the shops that come in the way of my home.

The numbers do not stop because cities are always on display and to be found in a market is such a farce, you will sold for sale. I wonder if anyone else was this absurd while being on fright and flight mode~nonsence

The bats babble , you see no life in human form and you ought to get panicked in an amount never metered, the leaves clap and claw out your heart,a strange laughter comes from the wild and you are in the middle of road that doesn't have a board to assure you where you are. Your mind has no gps, and location was never mapped too. The lake has perhaps migrated flushing your home or the lake never existed.

So, to scream just for the sake of hopelessness that adheres you seems the only option. When the tears are about to be delivered, you are called by your mother and the glass shatters, you are home , pulled back from your nightmares

Hope is sometimes cloaked in hopelessness, the cry is made to reach to ears and that is what hope is, to subconsciously believe that your tears will be harvested even when you are in your worst dream, that you will be found from the unknown and unnamed roads.

Home is somewhere in the hearts of those who take this responsibility of holding your hand in times when your identity card is lost, those who come uncalled , those who won't let you be lost when you have lost the address, those who remember you .

Home is always nearby ,you are never estranged from it, just know that while you are fidgeting in your worries somebody is looking for you. Someone is searching you and someone's going to hug right after you are traced . You are homed in hearts that aren't dead

-tabish.j

#sad poetry #short story #books & libraries #dark acadamia aesthetic #story #poems on tumblr #haiku poem #authors #spilled poetry #love poem #spilled thoughts #aesthetic #pastel #literature

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omi-papus · 1 year

Text

What was that soulmate AU idea someone had where Robin had always been inexplicably obsesed with aliens, and Al-An just sort of never liked anyone for thousands of years?

Ok tag that for me if anyone knows who came up with that.

So for personal reasons Im going to take out my rapidly depleting sanity into a little concept rn. Imagine if you will.

Robin Ayou has been staring at the sky since day one. Even as a baby kid shes been looking up, and often throws a fit when shes not allowed to look at the sky. withouth any actual explanation as to exactly why. Her mom tries to put little glow in the dark stars on her roof but it dosent work. She grows up other wise normal, eccept she starts getting curious about all the things around her. She loves animals, and plants and all the living things around her, even the fungi in the sourdough bread shes told really rich people get to eat. Still shes drawn to the sky. Actually finding herself dealing with mild regular neck pains from how much she looks up without meaning to. Sam realizes this and eventually comes to think she might like to learn about astronomy, and she tries to teach her. But when all she hears about the sky is that theres rocks, stars and big lumps of gas

She cries.

And she cries and cries and cries at being told thats all thats up there. It breaks her heart that beyond the clouds is just dead matter and emptyness, like she had expected something else. Sam tries desperatly to calm her down, trying to talk to her about the stars, and tells her about how they are made and how they glow, and thats the moment Robin for the first time tells anyone,

That shes never really liked the stars

Or the clowds

Or the sunset

The bright blue or pitch black

She dosent care about any of it. So far in her life, everyone asumes shes been admiring something, any of those previous things. And it turns out that no, Robin has never cared about any of that. And finally, Sam chooses to ask why. And the thing is, she cant answer. Because she has as much of an understanding of her own fixation as anyone else. But she still dosent want to belive that theres “nothing cool” up there, and Sam in one final attempt to make her stop crying, opens up a radom little book, and shows her a page of something in particular.

A goat.

Or something kind of like it. Its legs are weird.

Robin imediatly stops crying. Sam is dumbfounded but nervously she keeps going,

“This is an Olimpion goat. They live in one of the other planets in the sky”

And if they hadnt seen Robin loose her utter mind before, they sure did now. It was all but set in stone EXACTLY where her life was going from that second on. She became obsesed with alien species instantly. Going so off the wall in learning and studying everything she could about all of them that shed needed to get a PDA before the age her mom wanted her to have one, because she needed to carry something around that could remind her to eat drink and sleep.

The interest did not lessen in the slightest over the years, she had calmed down a bit. Robin never stopped being a fun social and emotional person. Now every time she looked up at the sky she was filled with thoughts of what had finally become her final goal, to discover an alien species herself.

At some other time, a little architect baby found himself struggling to not bother everyone with his surprisingly loud thoughts about the exact calculations of distance to the nearest foregin planet. Face pointed straight at the ground. He knew what was there, he could sweep the network for all sort of memories and facts about it, and in an almost petulent way wined about said records being incomplete. Why? He didny know but he was certain, that there was something off, some piece of missing information. That was clearly not in his planet, so he could only guess ir would be in the next one. The adults kept drilling into his head that just asuming something with no statistical basis was wrong, a gut feeling was not something to be acounted for.

It was his inhability to get rid of this gut feeling that made it so that he had to properly integrate to architect society later than the rest of his brood. Being also aparently concerning for his dificulty to not stare at the floor constantly, stuck in a singular thought so much he couldnt quite take in the world around him. He was given his external arms far later than others, because he was never looking at what he was doing with them.

Eventually he was able to recontextualize his thoughts. He convinced himself that this secret piece of missing knowledge was simply a desire to advance further, and that statistically there HAD to be something they didnt know yet. In all honestly he didnt genuenly feel exactly like that. He somehow knew, there was something in particular that was inherently important to him that he was just being denied for some reason.

It took milenia to train himself to “think correctly” enough for the network to finally be unable to judge his abilities based on a thought that was burried so deep it was basically forgotten. And finally, they realized his incredible talent and scientific prowes. He proved everyone wrong. He focused on that, on the recognition he had craved for so long. On the oportunities he was finally given. He would kill that damned irrational feeling with his bare claws as many times as it took. He forced himself to face forward, almost wanting to hit himself every time he so much as leaned his head slightly lower.

For thousands of years thats how he lived, and eventually he manages to forget compleatly.

How could he even think about that when his species is going extinct.

The bacteria is killing them all by the thousands, all of their attempts to fight it off fail, so a desicion is reached, the most valuble assets have to be evacuated imediatly and the planet must be compleatly locked up. And they choose him. He can no longer hold back, he objects, he wants to stay, to help, to do anything, but they do not agree. And he is dragged kicking and screaming into a a ship, where he is sent away, crying out the whole time, slowly hearing the network loosing faith in his ability once more, when they hear his desperate, irrational cries. He cant do it, hes scared.

And it comes back.

His unbased though about that missing link, it takes over. He needs it, he bends his head downwards compleatly, unable to look at his home fade away, he needs his precious incomprenehensible answer to come to him. Not the cure, not the solution, just that one part of him thats missing. Hes terrified and he needs it.

And then he feels his network, how as he drifts away they all realize in unison, that they are doomed.

“You werent the one we should have sent to save us. You havent changed at all.”

Is all he can hear before hes disconnected. Alone. He cant lift his head for lightyears after that.

The emergency ship has no destionstion, its just meant to go as far away as posible.

Robins crew is lost, the phase gate has had a malfunction and they ended up way farther away than they needed to be.

Eventually, one ship collides and at some other point, another lands.

Robin is the first one to venture out into the new planet, one thats compleatly off the grid, and seemingly devoid of life. Nothing but firm ice enveloping it hole. But shes eccited. She gets out, looks up,

And finds herself looking back down rather quickly. Like her neck isnt pushing itself up like it normally does. It actually kind of scares her. She seraches around for suplies or anything she can find to help out her crew, and at one point someone asks her.

“Whats over there?”

She is confused. They tell her shes been staring off into one specific direction. Now they never tell her which but somehow her head goes instinctively to it, in a hauntingly familiar way. She blinks perplexed a cuple of times.

But shes always trusted her gut feelings.

So she grabs a hoverbike out the ship, telling her cowerkers that she will scout the area, not a total lie, but not quite honest either.

She darts off, not looking around, but speeding, head first into the same direction her head points her to.

His ship has long since sunk under the ice. He cannot walk well, but his hooves, spliced from the hardy goats of Olimpion keep him standing firmly in the ice. He could teleport, but why would he. He just walks, agonizingly slowly. He is heading in a specific direction, hes calculated that in aproximately four trillion years, the planets will crash with the neighboring celestial body, and hes gone and found the exact spot where they will colide.

That should do the trick. He hasnt found anything else in this empty planet that could take him out of his misery.

He curses his ever growing gut feeling again.

He suddenly lifts his head to look at nothing, revising his calculations once again, hes arrived. Now he waits. He checks again. And another time. Once again from the start just to make sure.

Robin hears an alarm. She dosent stop moving, but looks down at the energy meter on her hoverbike. She realizes its just about dead. She gets only a second to panick before it halts compleatly, sending her flying forward.

The architect, is pulled out of his thoughts, by an unidentified object flying in his general direction. Without thinking, he catches the aproaching blur in his anti gravity beam. Holding it still above him.

It takes a cuple second for things to stop moving, but after he shakes his head and she opens her eyes again.

She looks down.

And he looks up.

#subnautica #subnautica below zero #al an x robin #al an #al-an #robin ayou #soulmate au #alien romance

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