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licorice-tea · 4 months

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I Wish You Knew I Was Real

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader

Content: strawhat! reader, fluff and feelings, confessions, midnight snacks (literally), mentions of WCI but no huge spoilers, reader has no specified gender

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: first fic of the new year! i don’t usually write for sanji so i hope this isn’t ooc… anyway, enjoy! also lmk what you think bc idrk how i feel about this one 🤷‍♀️

It’s well past midnight when you sneak into the kitchen of the Thousand Sunny to fix yourself a snack. It wouldn’t really matter if you get caught, seeing as it’s your ship too, but you’d rather not wake up or bother your crewmates.

“Y/n?”

You pause your chopping to find the source of the voice, Sanji, standing in the doorway. He yawns behind his hand as he walks in, “It’s the middle of the night, what are you doing up here?”

“I just got hungry.” But as soon as he’s close enough to see your hands working on cutting up fruit, he seems appalled. “What’s wrong?”

In Sanji’s mind, you should never have to cook for yourself. At least, not when he’s there on the same ship. Not when he would always be so willing and ready to help you out; to use his skills to please you.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? You know I can do it for you, sweetheart-“

“That’s why I tried not to wake you up. You need to get your rest, but I guess I was too noisy, huh?”

Sanji shakes his head determinedly, then gently moves his left hand over yours to take the knife while also holding your waist with his right so that he can maneuver you away from the cutting board. You let him, and he explains, “I get plenty of rest; if you ever need something, y/n, you can come to me. Day or night.”

You hum in acceptance of his statement, and feel content with simply watching him cut the apple into slices from your place beside him. He finishes creating the perfect little slices quickly, then goes the extra mile by carving small triangles out of the peel of each. A smile grows on your lips as you realize they’re meant to look like little bunnies; and they do.

“Cute,” you muse quietly at his creation “Thank you, Sanji.”

The cook smiles to himself before looking over at you, “I thought you’d like them more this way.”

This makes you laugh before replying, “Like a kid who only eats dinosaur shaped nuggets?”

“No, no,” he chuckles as well, “but I know you have an appreciation for aesthetics. Besides, I was right wasn’t I? You think they’re cute, so that’s all that matters.” Sanji says while plating the bunny-apple slices.

You scoot closer, so that your sides are pressed against each other, in a futile attempt to reach across and grab the plate. But, Sanji stops you again with his gentle touch (he’s always so very soft with you, rather than overbearing and borderline obsessive. But, you’d like love him either way.)

His right hand stays on your wrist as his left reaches up into a cabinet to grab the honey jar. He makes a display of lifting a generous amount of honey using the honey dipper over your plate, and drizzling it over the apples. Enough to satisfy your sweet tooth, but not so much it will create a sticky mess.

“Perfect.” he gestures for you to go sit at the kitchen island, but you insist you can “carry the plate just fine.” To which Sanji replies, “I know, but I don’t mind. I like taking care of you like this.”

There’s a faint tinge of red on his cheeks, but you’d never mention it. Especially not when your own, not so platonic feelings for the cook seem to constantly be in the back of your mind these days.

You take a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island, and Sanji presents your midnight snack with a flourish. “Enjoy, y/n.” He’s walks away to wash his hands, and you expect him to return to sit beside you, but then he walks toward the door.

“Sanji…” He pauses and looks back at you, “Do you want to stay?” You feel sort of awful asking, really, because he’s probably tired, but something inside you just can’t let him go.

And sure enough, his lips curve up into a smile. “I thought you’d never ask!”

He pulls out the stool next to yours and slides onto it, then rests his arm on the back of your seat. The proximity is not unwelcome- you felt it never could be when it came from him- but even if he was, he’s not invading your space. More so creating a kind of link between the two of you, and a feeling of closeness beyond the physical.

You take a bite of one of your apple slices, only to frown slightly when you pull the half eaten slice away from your mouth and realize you’ve destroyed the bunny. Sanji nearly laughs, for he has a similar empathetic disposition and knows how you feel, but then he notices something.

There’s a smidge of honey left behind on the corner of your mouth, which you have not taken notice of, because if you had you surely would’ve licked it up. Even the thought of that sight could make him act a fool, but he’ll try his best not to (just for you.)

“Look here.” he says in a near whisper, and you do. With no other words, he cups your chin and wipes the honey from your lips with his thumb. Your eyes go wide at the first action (when he touches your face to begin with), but they seem to soften when you realize what he’s doing. Sanji takes notice of this too, and just offers a smile. Because what else can he do?

He’s a flirt; he knows that, and so do you, and everyone else he’s ever met. So if he ever were to make a move on you, there’s no way you’d take him seriously. Then again, that’s why he tries to tone down his flirting with you in the first place. He can’t stand the thought of you being under the impression that you’re the same as every girl in the world is to him; because you’re not. You’re… special, in a way. He feels bad saying you’re his favorite of the many objects of his affections, because he has genuine love for so many people (you are though.) But, he can say with certainty that his feelings for you are the only serious ones. No matter how many women he tries to woo on all the adventures of the Straw Hats, he’ll always come back to you. Sanji will always choose you.

“Um, Sanji?” His hand is still on your jaw with his thumb on your bottom lip, so you pull it away with gentle force. “Sanji?” Hearing your sweet voice pulls him out of his stupor (the first time, he was concentrated on simply the sound of your voice.)

“Sorry, sweetness, I uh… Your pretty lips distracted me for a second~” Sanji purposely exaggerates his tone a little, so you just accept his reasoning with a giggle.

“Sure thing, Sanji.”

You eat your apple slices in comfortable silence for a bit, thinking of the aforementioned feelings you’ve been harboring for the chef since… Who knows- but you didn’t realize these feelings until you saw him for the first time after 2 years spent training apart. There had never been such a strong excitement in your voice as when you called his name that day, and he launched himself onto you in a tight hug. You had walked to the predetermined meeting place and entered the bar together, hand in hand. It felt so natural, too; like your hands were meant to fit together. Of course, you’d never voice these feelings, because if Sanji had feelings for you surely he’d tell you. Eventually, you hope. This brings about another question in your mind;

“Why do you like women? I mean, like, every woman we meet, even if she’s an enemy?”

He shrugs slightly, “At one point, the only people who were kind to me were women. Remember I told you about my mom and my sister?” During the Whole Cake Island experience, Sanji had in fact explained more about his relationships with his family members, and you recalled how his mother and sister were the only ones that showed him any sort of empathy.

“Mhm… That makes sense.” a moment of silence passes, as you’re a little nervous to ask this next question. “And why do you like me?”

The cook’s eyes widen like a deer in headlights, and he glances at you before concentrating on the surface of the island table. “I… I like this crew because you’re all my nakama. But…” It’s unusual to hear the typically very passionate man say something so quietly. You tilt your head as if to say, “Go on. I’m listening,” so he continues, “You’re important to me, y/n.”

“Good, you’re important to me, too.”

“Really?” Sanji seems a little shocked, “You know, I… I try not to be the way I am with women, with you, because I want you to take me seriously. I want you to know I mean it when I say nice things or do favors for you. I want you to know that it’s real.”

“I do take you seriously.”

Then, he takes a deep breath and puts both of his hands around one of yours, “And I want you to take my feelings for you seriously, when I confess them to you.”

“…Didn’t you just…?”

He grins and shakes his head, “No, y/n. When I confess the type of feelings I have for you and the extent of them, I’ll do it much more romantically than this.” Sanji looks positively giddy now, smiling and tightly (but not uncomfortably) holding your hand. “I just want you to know that what I feel for you is real.” And with that, he plants a chaste kiss on your cheek. It’s nothing like his occasionally vulgar and pg-13 methods of wooing women, but it makes your heart skip a beat. You’re sort of at a loss for words…

This time you’re the one pulled out of a daze by the other’s voice when he says, “Goodnight, y/n.”

“Oh, goodnight Sanji.” You smile at him, and he smiles back before nodding at you and leaving.

Even if that wasn’t a real confession, and maybe the timing wasn’t quite right, you were still biting back a smile as you rinsed off your plate and placed it in the dishwasher. But now you have a real confession to look forwards to, according to Sanji.

#one piece x reader #one piece x you #fanfic #one piece #x reader #oneshot #sanji x reader #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x you #please forgive the poor grammar #i wrote this in the a.m.#he’s so cute

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outro-jo · 9 months

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svt when they find out you dealt with depression

paring: random svt members x reader

type: reactions

warnings: meantions of medication use (please don’t be afraid to take them if you need them 🤍), physical neglect, lack of eating, mother is toxic in jeonghan’s, emotional neglect (please seek help if needed and accessible to you), i can’t think of anything else 🙃 pls lmk if i forgot anything

request: yes

notes: so this was a rough one for me. i could not finish and that’s why some of the members are missing but i still wanted to post what i had written but please read with caution 🤍

NOT TAKING REQUESTS AT THIS TIME/CLEARING INBOX

masterlist | info

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scoups- it was a total accident. you had been on medications for years and they’ve helped you tremendously. unfortunately when you moved to seoul to be with your boyfriend they needed a korean number and you hadn’t gotten one here yet so you didn’t think twice about giving them your boyfriend’s number. they called him and told him the prescription was ready. he was confused and asked what it was, they naturally told him since his number was the contact. a few naver searches later and he knew exactly what the medication was for. all day he went back and forth trying to decide if he should bring it up and how to do it. of course, it wasn’t a problem that you dealt with depression, he just wanted to know so he could help and support you when needed. he also wanted to always make sure you felt like you could come to him with anything. when he arrived back home that night, he was still toiling. you greeted him happily, still making dinner but you could tell he was a bit in his head by the halfhearted smile he gave you. at dinner you decided to ask him about his day when he sheepishly admitted that he got a call from the pharmacy. “oh…” was all you said. seungcheol was quick to reassure you that it wasn’t a problem, he loved you no matter what, and that he was always there to talk. that night the lines of communication were opened even more between the two of you and it allowed your partner to support you in ways you never knew you needed.

jeonghan- unfortunately it was probably the biggest source of your depression that told him. your relationship with your mother was never good. she was one of those incredibly draining types. for as long as you could remember you’ve been taking care of her because she was always “chasing the wind”—her way of not dealing with life and running away from everything. when you met jeonghan you felt so much freedom for the first time and started to feel like the life wasn’t constantly being sucked out of you. you thought maybe being on a different continent might also create some distance between you and your mom, and it did… until she randomly showed up. jeonghan knew your relationship with your mom wasn’t the best but he didn’t know the extent. sitting across from her at dinner that night gave him the full picture of chaos you were raised in. your mom acting like a tourist in the worst way, bordering on offensive at times and you constantly coming behind her to smooth things over, like you have your entire life. it was exhausting and he could see that. also, your mother had no filter whatsoever so her compliment of “you look good” turned into, “you know they have depression, right?” in a pseudo whisper to your boyfriend. it was so quick and nonchalant, like she had been sitting on that for a while, and some part of you kinda thought she had. just waiting to say something to make things awkward and maybe even drive a wedge between you and jeonghan because “how dare you find a beautiful, successful boyfriend”. not a moment too soon, you dropped your mom off at her hotel after dinner and told jeonghan you’d meet him back at your apartment. the whole drive home you were shaking, equal parts enraged and terrified, so angry with your mother for just blurting that out but scared to death of what jeonghan might think of you now. after all that, he may even just want to cut his losses and break up with you. the worst part is, you wouldn’t blame him at all. to your great surprise, jeonghan met you at the door with the biggest hug, holding you so tight to his chest and kissing your head. he listened intently while you cried and told him everything, only making you feel loved and cared for. the very thing your mom tried to use to drive you apart was the thing that brought you even closer together.

joshua- your battle with depression was something you felt like you won so you never really felt the need to bring it up since it was in the past. joshua was none the wiser. the moment that changed was when the two of you met up with a group of friends while he was on tour in la. you had lived there for a while so there were a lot of people you were looking forward to seeing including your best friend in the whole world. thanks to the time zones, you two weren’t always able to catch up so they flat out asked how you were dealing with your depression. since you two were so close you didn’t even give it a second thought, shrugging your shoulders and letting them know that the medication and therapy was working well for you. it wasn’t until later when you and joshua headed home that he brought it up. “hey, you never told me you dealt with depression.” it was casual. he didn’t want to pressure you too much but he wanted to hear your story. joshua always wanted to know everything about you so he listened carefully as he drove, his thumb rubbing circles to the back of your hand. he nodded and hummed as you told him about some of the darker moments of your life and the treatment that helped you. when you had finished, he thanked you for telling him with an adoring smile and kissed you softly. he was so proud and happy that you were able to work through it and he reassured you that no matter what he would always be there to help you.

jun- better days had finally come so you were doing all you could to enjoy the sunshine in your life and forget the darkness you left behind. the sunshine, of course, was a lot brighter when jun came into your life. so the therapy appointment were cancelled and the bottles of antidepressants got shoved into a drawer in your bathroom with pills untouched and forgotten. when you and jun decided to move in together, the pills resurfaced. he was helping you pack up your bathroom when he found a couple of little orange bottles tucked away. jun is curious by nature and looked at them, thinking they were probably old antibiotics or something for pain when you had your wisdom teeth removed. to his surprise, he recognized the long, medical name. he did breathe a sigh of relief when he saw the date and that it was for some time ago but he made a mental note to talk about it with you and continued packing. later when you two were surrounded by cardboard boxes, eating take out on your coffee table, he brought it up. though your defenses went up, jun was quick to assure you that there was nothing wrong with dealing with mental health issues and that he, himself, had battles of his own. all he wanted to do was make sure that you knew that you could talk to him without judgement. he finished the conversation with a kiss and a reminder that he loved you. that was one thing you always felt being with jun, loved.

hoshi- soonyoung was usually a bright person. he was usually happy and didn’t want to be bogged down by the harder things of life. so you never really talked about the darkness of your past, it was all about the present and future that now included him. there was some small part of you that felt you might be able to talk to him about it, but you chose to push it aside. that only worked for so long though when you started noticing you falling into old patterns again. the darkness you worked so hard to try and hide was creeping up on you again, making you more and more panicked when you were around him. so, you told him you needed some space which he respected until two weeks turned into over a month and soonyoung was incredibly worried. his work kept him preoccupied but when he looked through his phone to see you hadn’t messaged him in a while, he knew something was wrong but he was expecting the worst. you answered the door to find soonyoung crying and panicked asking what he had done wrong and if you were breaking up with him. it took a little bit to talk him down and then he finally started to look around your apartment. it was embarrassingly filthy with laundry piled up and discarded food containers. when he started to get a better look at you he noticed your hair was a bit knotted and your cheeks were sunken in from not eating as much as you normally do. his heart sank in his chest and he immediately pulled you into his arms, apologizing for not being there for you. soonyoung fought his instincts of taking care of you but for now just listened to you and your experience. you were met with a warm hug and an abundance of love, then he eventually got to help take care of you.

dk- like seokmin, you were a pretty sunshine-y and optimistic person. when it came to your depression, you kinda gaslit yourself through it pretty much until it reached the crippling stage, which thankfully it hadn’t for a while. however, dating one of the biggest kpop idols had its pitfalls, especially when your relationship was outed. it was a day you feared since you started dating seokmin, both of you knowing it was inevitable but you tried to push it off for as long as possible. while some of the comments were nice and supportive, the comments on your appearance took the hardest toll on you. suddenly you didn’t want to go anywhere and opted to just stay in your bed where you were perfectly safe. seokmin was preparing for a comeback, unable to really check in with you as much as he would have liked so he didn’t know the extent of what you were going through but he could sense something was off. he couldn’t explain it but at the end of the week he told scoups and his managers that he needed the weekend to rest, but really he was going to check on you. drifting in and out of sleep, you didn’t know when he came in, you just opened your eyes and he was suddenly over you, stroking your hair back on your head. his heart sunk and both of you could see the pain in each others eyes. seokmin knew he’d messed up leaving you alone for so long, kicking himself for not checking on you better. words were hardly exchanged between you but he just held you in his arms. eventually you did disclose that this wasn’t your first time struggling with depression and he hung on every word and made sure to reassure you, promising to look after you better from now on.

the8- without a doubt, you know minghao would have been so supportive of you and all you had to do was tell him… but you couldn’t. your depression was something you battled completely alone and it was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through and there was always this part of you that felt like you were a burden. you couldn’t put that on minghao. finally you had something good in your life and you couldn’t ruin it with your past. but life has a way of revealing your secrets for you. you came home that night from work feeling pretty good about the day but you walked though the door to find minghao sitting on the couch with your house phone sitting on the coffee table. you honestly didn’t know why you still had that damned thing, it was included with your internet and you used it sometimes to avoid your cell phone being bogged down with calls when you were out or at work. you were starting to regret having it when you saw the look on your boyfriend’s face. he calmly explained that your therapist office had called while he was there and he answered. they told him you haven’t been by their office in a while and you needed to pick up your records. the blood in your veins turned to ice as you froze solid to the floor. upon seeing your reaction, he was concerned, standing to his feet and slowly walking towards you. as soon as he saw tears in your eyes, he knew something was amiss, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. minghao let you cry and share your story with him, never interrupting but rubbing reassuring circles in your thigh. once you were finished, he apologized for “cornering” you but as you had expected, your fears were met with love and acceptance. from then on he took special care to make sure you felt safe enough to share with him.

vernon- this was not how you wanted him to find out. a full on relapse while he was away on tour was definitely not the plan… but these things are never planned. it started slowly, not answering texts and when you answered calls you blamed it on being tired from work. then you stopped going to work. which wasn’t the best but you genuinely couldn’t bring yourself to get out of bed or care about the trivial problems work offers. vernon started to worry. he didn’t even know the full extent of everything but you not sounding the same when you spoke through any method and you even answering less and less often, was enough for him. the tour thankfully ended and vernon even left early because he was so worried about you. when he arrived at home, the house wasn’t a mess like he had mentally prepared for. there were a few dishes in the sink and it was a little dustier than normal but everything was mostly untouched. you, however… were also mostly untouched. he was upset to find you in the bed, much thinner than he left you, in a t-shirt of his and a pair of underwear. your eyes dark and sunken in and while you weren’t disgusting smelling, he could tell it had been a while since your last shower. his heart broke when he spoke to you and you didn’t say anything, just stared past him with a distant look. when you wouldn’t speak, vernon just went into action, carrying you into the shower to help you clean up. once you were fresh and in clean clothes, he tidied up the house while waiting for the food he ordered to arrive. vernon couldn’t have been kinder or more gentle, taking care of your physical needs to hopefully help with your mental ones. in a few weeks you started to feel more like yourself but vernon would have and did anything to restore you.

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killuwumi · 1 year

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Gepard HCS/blurbs

a/n: gepard is so special 2 me....fr.... im back at it with mindless dribble!!!!!!!!!

warnings: shy gepard, lowercase, not proofread, female reader implied, mentions of having a family. (i think that’s all of them lmk if i missed any)

gepard is a really clumsy lover, like, stumbles on his words and isn't always so sure of his actions. i think he has a very cute and clumsy side, but also a serious and strict side. he does not let you talk bad about yourself, but he will talk with you if you feel like you have areas you want to improve in. he is honest, has never lied to you, other than maybe one or two white lies, he doesn't want you to worry. with his job being so time consuming he always finds creative ways for you to hang out. you'll play hide and seek on patrol with him if you're able to convince him, or maybe you spend time practicing your stealth, always trying to get the jump on him while he is patrolling, it helps both of you. but when he is on guard he prefers you don't disturb him. gepard doesn't want anyone hurting you, thinking you are an intruder or monster. lunch breaks are a must with him, you have daily meet up spots depending on what his task is, and since the fragmentum as calmed down he has the chance to take a lot more lunch breaks with you. before he would just skip them and eat small snacks. but now he will get huffy if he doesn't get to see you at least once during the day. whether you fight, or you just work around belobog, he wants to see you. once a day. just once please, he will lose his sweet mind.

he constantly randomly calls you beautiful, stunning, gorgeous. even if you just got done sweating your ass off at work/battles/training. he sometimes doesn't even realize he has let such a statement slip until you return the compliment or thank him. gepard really just can't help but be honest with you, he wants to make you happy. gepard wants to be the one that makes you feel self assured and content. he wants a strong confident partner so he knows that when he is away, or you are, that you feel loved and safe. even when he can't protect you. which he hates by the way, he loves when you are in belobog because he knows you are under his watchful eye, and his undying protection. for you and all the citizens, but especially you.

gepard wants a family, a happy small family. he has a long line of military and brilliant ancestors, and he just feels like you would be perfect to settle down with and carry on that legacy. he wants SO badly for you to take his last name, oh his big heart would melt knowing you carry that name with pride, and it would feel so claiming and validating for him. everyone could stop hitting on you and know that there is a strong man by your side. he knows you can handle anything yourself, but that has never stopped him from being protective, he doesn't view it as his job or responsibility. just something inside him wants to be the one to protect you from others predatory gazes, and all too friendly hands. having his last name holds status too, and he really desperately wants to hear you refer to him as your husband, hubby, whatever you want in that regard. and he'll wear his ring every day, he'll never take it off. it doesn't matter how many battles he enters, he will have his ring until it rots off his finger, and even then it will be there.

he tells his sister everything, even though she has unorthodox methods, and strange ideals in his mind, she is still his sister and even better, a great source for getting the scoop on you. serval was so helpful in the two of you getting together, while gepard had been upfront about his feelings with you, awkwardly asking you on a date with big flowers hiding his blush, he worked so hard to grow those and you didn't even know until serval told you. anyway, gepard was upfront with his feelings after only the few times you had hung out, and that's because every time he went running to his sister and gushed about you for hours, and serval finally told him that he definitely has a crush, more than that even.

so easily flustered, it doesn't matter how long you two are together, even after years you can catch that same blush on his face. it is less red now, but it's still there, he still talks about how amazed he is that you are with him, and how much he appreciates you. but when you gush about him he gets all flustered, hiding his face and thanking you every second. the truth is he replays these moments in his head like a broken record, especially on days when he is away from you. even just the thought is enough to make him have to clear his throat to shake from his thoughts. everyone in belobog knows what he's thinking about when he has that blush on his face. he isn't huge into pda, but he loves to hold your hand. and if you like giving him kisses and hugs in public then he is in no position to deny you in his mind. he calls you his love, princess, dove. has a special soft spot for calling you his flower. doesn't do it often because he gets embarrassed and worried its cringe but you love it.

#gepard #gepard hsr #gepard x reader #gepard x you #gepard x stelle #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr gepard #geppie #gepard honkai star rail #hsr fic #hsr fanfic #dan heng x reader #dan heng #honkai star rail fics #fics #fluff #blurb #Killu writes

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aliasrocket · 11 months

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If you're still accepting requests, could I request Rocket crushing on someone? How it would go from him not liking the person, to denial, and then finally to realisation/acceptance ❤️

Since this request wasn’t too specific, I’m gonna assume you wanted me to list down some hcs I have about Rocket having a lil crush. If I was wrong, please lmk! So sorry in advance hehe.

Rocket crushing on someone <3 (gender neutral!)

(omg this ended up being a whole imagine/mini fanfic wtf)

gif source <3 / here’s my masterlist!!

» the beginning.

This was not supposed to go this way.

He was just supposed to have a conversation with someone at a bar for the sake of not looking half as miserable as he really is, get drunk, leave, and deal with whatever hell spawn of a hangover he’d get in the morning.

There was just something about them that was so …

Hard to let go.

“Welp, I better get goin’. Can’t keep my crew waiting.”

They smiled, setting their wine glass down. “Oh, do you really have to go?”

Oh, fuck.

If their voice, their smile and that blinding glint in their eye was something he could catch, he would have had it in a glass bottle before you could even realize he’d caught it.

Yeah because their voice was nice. Nothing else to it.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

He was still chanting that as he stumbled out of the bar wishing he could smash the bottle in his hand to pieces.

Whether it had echoed in his head or fallen out of his lips as indecipherable slurring, he couldn’t tell the difference with all the liquor he’s had to down just to get their voice the slightest bit softer in his head.

» denial.

Of course Rocket would have never admitted it if someone else didn’t point it out for him.

So he tries his best to hide it from the guardians. Absolutely looks the other way when his crush comes around and he’s walking around with his family.

He would be pretty angry and bummed out about it, too.

The simple fact is that Rocket has lost people before. He cannot afford to go through even a fraction of that pain again because he’s had enough.

You can’t lose what you don’t have.

They don’t even know my name, so there was nothing there, he thought.

Did he tell them his name?

Doesn’t matter. They’re someone he met at the bar, that’s their name, Rocket decided. ‘Someone I met at the bar.’

But it only makes him recall their name even more.

He mulled over the conversation and began analyzing each word—what could they have even said that was all that charming?

Maybe if he got to the root of the problem, he could find the anomaly and rip it the fuck out.

No, but of course that’s not how shit worked. They sort of just … linger. Make you imagine the things that person likes.

Okay, so Rocket decided to make a new set of blasters. He was kinda outgrowing his most used ones anyway.

And, it’s not a crush but a certain point in time where both parties were at their (somewhat) best. They were probably a difficult person to deal with. Maybe a slut? Not that there was anything wrong with that, because Rocket wasn’t any different just—

THIS FALLS UNDER THE CATEGORY OF ‘THINKING ABOUT THEM’!

Stopping now.

He walks around to find stores with parts he needs, and he runs into them.

Them.

Them with their stupid hair and their stupid clothes and their stupid taste in fashion (stupid, stupid, stupid, definitely stupid, nothing more.)

(He acts like a little child experiencing his first crush. It wasn’t his decision. He’s not built for this.)

They look to Rocket.

Their eyes widen, as does their pretty—pretty shit-eating smile.

“Oh, Rocket! Hey!”

He froze.

No, nevermind, freezing entails being completely stoned but he was painfully aware of his heaving chest and his hanging jaw and his greedy lungs.

He fled.

On all fours, he ran faster than he ever knew he could.

» realization/acceptance.

… yeah. There was nothing else to say, or do, or feel.

There was no more escaping it.

Thank god he doesn’t have their number.

“Rocket?”

“Hm?”

“Who’s ‘someone I met at a bar’?”

The team were on a commission in a conveniently far planet, much to Rocket’s delight.

So much for not having their number.

Quill was on the access panels.

“Don’t you know how to fuckin’ read?” Rocket snapped. “It’s right there on the goddamn screen.”

“Yeah but how is it that a screen is telling me more about this encounter than you ever did?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Rocket.”

“What?”

Quill looked at him.

He was doing that thing where his shoulders are slumped and he presses his lips together.

“Spit it out already!”

“It’s okay to be into someone,” Quill said.

Rocket scoffed audibly.

“I knew that.”

“Rocket.”

“What?”

“It’s okay to be into someone,” Quill repeated a lot slower this time.

“I know!” Rocker shrieked, like his voice was cracking under his dissolving defense. “I’m not a damn child.”

“And you’re not a monster, either,” Quill corrected.

And he definitely read Rocket’s mind.

That was just about as much as he could stomach.

So there was no more talking for the rest of the trip.

So yes, Rocket would have never admitted it if someone else didn’t point it out for him.

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #gotg fic #guardians of the galaxy #rocket raccoon #gotg vol 3 #gotg vol. 3 #peter quill #rocket gotg #rocket raccoon imagine #rocket raccoon fanfic #anon ask #ask request #.alias.inbox.request.#.alias.hcs.

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onlyseokmins · 2 years

Text

fruit • h.j.s.

Pairing: joshua hong x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship, movie night but not really heh

Warnings: shua being a lil shit, reader being sassy, eating of food/fruit, mentions of cum eating (m&f), prolly sex myths idk, oral (fem. receiving), edging, fingering, uhhh WAP lmao lmk if i missed anything as always <3

WC: 1.9k

A/N: hiii, I'm trying to fill up my masterlist w/ all the members even tho I have a few sitting requests but thought Joshua would fit perfectly for this scenario when I was eating the other night 🤭 BUT ALSO THIS WAS HOT IMHO 😭

You’re nestled into Joshua’s side, the back of your head resting on his shoulder and his arm curled round you. It’s how you’re able to feel the chuckle rumbling in his chest that he’s trying to hide. A whine of complaint escapes your lips when you nearly drop the chunk of fruit you’re trying to eat because of his jostling. Plus, now you know he’s not even trying to pay attention to the flickering television screen in front of you because this is not a funny scene in the slightest.

“What’re you laughing at?”

“Nothing.”

“Joshua,” you sit up to face him with a pout, “this is my favorite movie!”

“I know, babe. We’ve watched it like three times in the past month.”

“Four.”

He nods compliantly at the correction, your dark grumbling unable to prevent him from masking a fond grin. “Yeah, yeah. And we’ll probably watch it a couple more times, huh?”

“If you didn’t want to watch it tonight, you should’ve told me.”

“It’s not that, like you said it’s your favorite.”

“Then – ”

“I just like watching you more. Especially when you enjoy something.”

Joshua’s smooth talk can’t fool you after all these years together even if all you can do is roll your eyes. Likewise, when his thumb reaches out to wipe the sticky smear of juice off your lips, you remain (mostly) unaffected and fix him with a pointed stare that he steadily ignores.

“Why were you laughing? This scene is a guaranteed tearjerker no matter how many times you see it.”

“If you wanted a good reason to cry, all you had to do was ask. I could’ve provided a much more riveting alternative.”

“Joshua.”

“Fine, fine.” He sighs, knowing you might smack him when he tells you what’s on his mind. “I just find it cute… that you’re eating… pineapple.”

“Oh my god.”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Baby, all I’m saying is you taste just fine as it is.”

“You are such a pervert, Joshua Hong. Can’t I enjoy some fruit in peace? There are grapes in here too!”

“Grapes. Grapes are good. Ahhh – ”

You ignore the way he groans your name in protest when you scoot down to the other end of the couch, clutching your fruit bowl and glaring his way. “You act like everything I do in life is to sexually please you or something.”

“I mean you did – ” He’s cut off again when you (gently) kick at his shin before he brings up any shameful memories. “Okay, okay! It was you who just had to ask when we could’ve watched the movie in peace.”

“Hard to when you’re giggling like a little boy because I’m eating pineapple, of all things. You definitely weren’t watching it, anyways.” You shake your head before muttering under your breath. “And if anyone needs to eat pineapple, it’s you.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” you chirp back and purse your lips.

“Actually, I didn’t.” The living room gets much darker when Joshua shuts off the television, the only source of light now the lamp behind him that casts a shadow over his handsome features. “Wanna say it again, sweetheart?”

“I was watching that.”

“Brats don’t get to enjoy things when they act up, you know this.”

The shift in the atmosphere makes your skin tingle but surprisingly, the annoyance wins over. “You’re being an irritation.”

“I prefer ‘irresistible’ but I guess you don’t agree with me at all. Apparently.”

“So, you did hear me.”

A beat of silence.

“Do you really think I taste bad?”

You give him an incredulous look, deftly dodging away when his hand attempts to reach inside your fruit bowl. “Although I love you very much, you can’t expect me to say that semen tastes good. Even I know I don’t taste all that great, either.”

“You’re very wrong and we could prove that right here, right now. You know I can eat you out for hours.”

“I’m not that turned on,” you can’t help but point out even as he pouts. “But you’re welcome to change my mind since you ruined movie night.”

Joshua’s quick to act, the couch creaking with his movements to successfully pluck the bowl out of your grasp – this time without argument. “I don’t think I’m solely the one who ruined movie night, but I’ll take full responsibility for ruining you, baby.”

His hands pull down your night shorts and panties in one go, an eager finger running tentatively along your folds. His eyebrow raises while a smirk forms on his lips as you cover your face in embarrassment at how wetness instantly gushes from your cunt, your body reacting predictably. All because it’s him – mixed with the expected promise that he’ll make you feel good as expected.

He coos your name, and you feel loved and worshipped in this most pathetic way possible while he shifts his body down yours, hot breath warming the top of your bare thighs. Soft lips trail sloppy kisses across them as his hands part your legs so he can fit his head through. Finally, he’s merely inches away from where your fluttering hole betrays you, clenching at nothing as he gazes in contemplation before swiping his tongue along it.

You let out a moan at the feeling, fingers reaching out to grasp at his hair. Slightly pulling him closer so his nose brushes against your clit causes your hips to buck up against his awaiting mouth. He chuckles at your impatience but gives in, obviously – your alluring scent makes his eyes roll back in delight.

It’s sinful how his tongue swirls inside you, plush lips brushing against you in all the right places, hands keeping your legs spread as wide as possible and bringing you closer to him. The wet sounds filling the room are accompanied by his grunts of appreciation although everything else is drowned out by the blood roaring in your ears and the moans escaping your mouth.

Joshua never fails to surprise you with how fast he can bring you to a climax. You feel it creeping up your spine, body tensing as it threatens to hurtle towards release. Too bad he knows the signs extremely well because he suddenly pulls away and white noise fills your ears as the feeling excruciatingly fades out.

“Shua,” you whine. Hands blindly searching for him so he can finish the job, but he’s moved past your reach.

“Right here, baby.” A reassuring kiss is placed on your nose. “Shh, shh,” he whispers in your ear when you find him and wrap your arms around his neck, trying to bring his body down to yours to grind against. But he refuses to budge, biceps flexing as he holds himself firmly above you. “You’re doing so good for me. Look at you, already begging from just a tiny bit of pussy licking.”

Tears sting your eyes at the painful ache between your legs. You know he loves it, the offer of making you cry in desperation always on the table and even though you hate giving into his sadistic satisfaction, Joshua does good on his end at bringing you to a mind-blowing orgasm – eventually.

He bends his neck down to kiss you, grinning at how he doesn’t have to run his tongue across your lips for access because your mouth is already open in acceptance. The taste of fruit you were eating earlier is replaced by the tangy flavor of your own cunt as Joshua’s tongue entangles with yours.

“See how sweet you are? How could I not get enough of this?” He licks his lips and eases the tip of a finger inside your warmth. “So. Fucking. Addictive.”

Each word is punctuated by an additional finger sliding and curling inside of you until you’re delightfully full. His thumb rubs at your clit but relief is short-lived when you tighten around him since he decides to leave you empty again.

You have tears streaming down your cheeks as you miserably watch him lick his fingers clean, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. Once more, he makes you taste yourself with an open-mouthed kiss.

“Please, Shua.”

“What do you want, baby? Wanna taste how delicious you are when you cum on my tongue?”

You’re furiously nodding, at this point agreeing to however he’ll let you reach your much desired release. “Yeah. Please, please, please!”

“Hands to yourself then.”

Your clothed chest is heaving from sobs of anguish as your nails dig into the leather couch. Joshua is cruel. When his head returns between your legs, large hands hold down your hips while he places featherlight smooches on your pelvis and inner thighs, an occasional kitten lick to your leaking pussy.

He’s letting your climax plateau. Almost there but not quite. One step away from taking the plunge but he refuses to help you there as his darkened eyes stare tauntingly into your teary ones. He adores when his sassy lover is whiny but obedient. Submissive but teasing. Especially when you begin to play with your perky nipples that rub against your shirt, trying so hard to urge your release to snap.

“What did I just say?”

“Keep my hands to myself. Which I am. They’re not on you.”

Shiny lips from your wetness turn downwards in a frown. Technically you’re not wrong but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. Before you can get too carried away, he relents. Diving back down to suck harshly at your clit, plunging his long fingers deep into your cunt that would have had screaming in ecstasy if you weren’t already gasping at the searing orgasm that rips through you.

Your legs tighten in a headlock around him but it’s not like he’s complaining. Joshua’s mouth trades places with his fingers to lap at your delectable pussy that gushes from the powerful sensations, his own hips grinding down against the couch. Your quiet whimpers alert him of possible overstimulation and he places one last kiss against your thigh before cuddling your trembling body in his lap.

“You still with me, baby?”

“Mhm,” you nod and nuzzle his neck, “feels like I’m floating.”

He laughs, rubbing your back and waits for you to come back down to earth. By the time you do, your eyebrows furrow at the wetness on his jeans underneath that is definitely not from you.

“Did you…?”

“Yeah.”

“Really? I was gonna suck you off.” To say you’re beyond surprise would not be a lie because he usually has a tight leash around his control.

“Nah. I have to eat some pineapple first.”

“Joshua Hong!”

He snorts and kisses your forehead. “In all seriousness, that was just too hot to resist. Besides, I figured that would wear you out.”

“True. I think you sucked the life out of me, honestly.”

“Tasted like it,” he says while you grimace.

“Stop that. You’re disgusting.”

“But you liked it.”

“I… liked what you did, not what I tasted like. I think you’re delusional.”

“Delusional and in love with you, yes. Do I need to prove it again?”

You sigh, standing up. “No, because I’ll just believe you’re only pussy whipped. Now come on, let’s go shower and sleep.”

“Maybe I am. But I’m especially whipped for you first.” He follows you up the stairs before pausing in contemplation. “Hey, do you think the pineapple really works?”

“You better hope this shower doesn’t turn into a bath where I drown you,” you yell back, “so get your ass up here before I kick you out!”

#ez.creates #svt smut #seventeen smut #Joshua smut #joshua hong smut #kpop smut #svt.smut

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augustghosts · 2 years

Text

1984 - Eddie Munson

Eddie and Readers first year together, and how they first met.

This is a prequel to 1987 and 1988. But can defo be read alone!

word count: 5.5k

Warnings: 18+ as usual, gets spicy a few times. But no descriptive smut in this one, sorry </3 Smoking and drinking mentioned, same as the other chapters! A meet cute and some first times. Allusions to sex at the end of almost every month, someone needs to stop me lmao. More stolen song lyrics but from radiohead this time hehe

also not proofread so lmk if you spot any mistakes <3

January, 1984. 18 year old Eddie Munson is leaning against his newly acquired van. Proud. Ripped black jeans, leather jacket. Typical Eddie. A style he will come to find hard to let go of. Legs crossed over one another, lighting a cigarette. It’s late, about an hour and a half after the bell rang to signify the end of the school day. Cold, too.

“Fuck!” The curse word being thrust out into the air makes him jump. The source coming from the other side of his vehicle, a few spaces down.

“Stupid fucking thing!” He hears the voice again, along with a sputtering engine. He’s instantly curious, rounding his car to have a peek. He sees her car door open. She sat in the driver seat, turning the key over and over again as if it would help. It doesn’t. He smirks, because it’s her. The girl he’d admired from afar for years. Fuck, was this his chance?

Fuck it, he thinks. “You okay?” He asks. Brave of him, to be honest. She whirls around, she looks scared, like she was expecting someone else. Her face relaxes when she realises it’s just another student. Eddie can’t help but look her up and down as she steps out of her car. He doesn’t miss that she does the same to him.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks” She’s still watching him. She’d always thought he was cute. But they’d never really been in the same room, let alone close enough to have a conversation. Despite being in the same grade for years.

“You sure?” He laughs.

“Well, I don't know.” She laughs back, “It won’t start. I don’t know about cars, I barely know how to drive them.”

He laughs again, a genuine laugh. “Want me to take a look?” He takes his chance. Shoots his shot.

“You know about cars?”

“A little.” He says, he walks around to the front of her car. When he lifts the hood, a cloud of smoke starts to surround him. He coughs slightly, taking a step back. Mumbles a fucking hell.

“Do you know about that?”She gestures to the smoke. She’s laughing again. It’s beautiful, be thinks.

“Um, no.” He says, pretending to get a good look at the engine. Fake concentration on his face as he closes the hood. Smoke still billows from the sides. “But, what i I do know is that it looks pretty fucked. So…”

“I hope not.” Her face falls, he feels guilty. “I can’t afford another one. You got any more of those?”

She’s pointing to the cigarette in his mouth. He digs around in his pocket and passes her the pack. He watches as she lights one, he watches her lips as she inhales. They share a quiet moment - he breaks it.

“So uh, can you get home okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t live that far.” She gets her bag out the front seat and locks the doors.

“You’re gonna walk?” He asks.

“Yeah?” She’s already started stepping away from him.

“Wait!” He calls after her. Too much, he thinks. “I can um, can I give you a ride? If you like?”

“Are you trying to lure me into your car? Don’t you know they’re teaching us that that’s unsafe now?”

“No! No i was just-“ He starts to back track, suddenly afraid of how creepy his offer was.

“I was kidding!” She cuts him off. He mumbles an oh and laughs with her. She continues: “It’s okay though, really. It’s not far.”

“Even more reason for me to drive you. Please? I can’t let such a fair maiden walk home alone.” He tries to make her laugh again, already missing the sound. It works.

“Fuck it.” She says, “Why not? There’s witnesses over there though, by the way.” She points to the jocks hanging around outside the gym.

“Bunch of pricks.” Eddie says as he holds the door open for her. Her laugh makes him smile bigger than he has in weeks.

February. Hawkins High library, late afternoon. Eddie feels like everyone is looking at him. “Eddie, we’re fine.” She says, not even looking up from her paper but she knows what he’s doing. Surveying the room to glare at anyone staring at him, anyone wondering why the hell Eddie Munson was in a library with a girl. One of the most beautiful girls in school, at that.

“I’m not getting this anyway.” He says, throwing the pencil down in front of him and leaning back in his chair. She watches as he spreads his legs, getting comfortable. Her eyes on his thighs - he notices.

“You are! You’re a lot smarter than you think.” She gestures to the paper in front of him, where she had drawn green ticks and a smiley face on the page when he had asked her to look it over. After that night he dropped her home a month ago, he had come back to help her call a tow company to come get her car. He had recommended a mechanic for her and even gone with her to make sure she ‘didn’t get ripped off’ - his own words. She had started buying weed off of him as an excuse to hang out. They had kissed once in his trailer and then not spoken for a week. He had asked her to help him study. His excuse to hang out again , and here they were.

“Yeah right.” He mumbles, looking around nervously again. “I need a smoke.”

“Let’s go.” She says softly. He watches her hands as she packs up her things. He lets her leave first, so that he can snatch up the piece of paper she had drawn the smiley face on and stuff it into his pocket. It was too cute to leave behind.

“You know,” He starts talking after they both had cigarettes in their hands, he had lit hers for her and she had looked into his eyes and it made his cock stir. Made him think about the night he had invited her into his place to watch a movie and she had ended up underneath him on the couch. He shakes his head, as if that would make the image of her swollen lips leave his mind, and he continues - “I appreciate you helping me and all but, it makes me wonder why.”

“What?” She’s leaning against the wall facing him. He’s looking forward, her eyes burning into the side of his face.

“Why are you helping me?” He repeats. She smiles, he’s about to ask her what’s funny when she lifts her hand to his cheek. He freezes, his stomach flips and his skin tingles as she moves her hand to the back of his neck. She leans up and slowly tugs him down, he feels stupid about how still he’s being right now. When their lips meet he jumps into action, moving his free hand to her waist. The kiss ends too soon when she pulls away and says: “That’s why I'm helping you.”

March. A cold night, Eddie’s porch. His jacket around her shoulders. Lit cigarettes and empty bottles. Sitting so close that their legs touch, skin tingling. He thought she looked beautiful. “It’s fucking freezing.” She whispered from where her head was on his shoulder.

“I know,” He was shivering too. “I’m trying not to smoke in the trailer anymore, my ceiling is starting to turn a weird colour.”

“Ew,” She laughed. “That’s gross.”

“Yeah, that’s why I'm not doing it.” He laughed back. He turned his head slightly to look down at her. She stood up, holding out her hand.

“Come on.”

He took her hand, as always, and let her lead him inside. She shrugged his jacket off of her shoulders and turned to face him, winding her arms around his neck. He smiled against her lips as she leaned up to kiss him. They had only kissed a few times, Eddie felt like his soul was alight every single time. His hands resting on her hips, kind of stiff - nervous. She always made it better, made him better. As the kiss heated up, tongues and hands wandered. She turned to gently shove him down to sit on the couch.

“Fuck.” He murmured as she climbed onto his lap. Shit, he could already feel his cock stirring. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but she was practically sitting on his crotch right now. He shifted slightly underneath her, her lips travelling to his throat not helping the situation. Her giggle in his ear when he groaned and squeezed her waist. He was screwed.

“Baby, i-” He pulled away, stopping himself mid sentence. He had never called her that before, they had never used pet names with each other, his mind was reeling - unsure of what to say apart from a small sorry mumbled under his breath.

“What are you sorry for? The nickname or your boner?”

His face reddened, he could feel the heat of his skin. Actually, his whole body felt kind of hot. Should he open a window? “Uhm, both. I guess.” He said, sheepish.

“Don’t be,” She said, grinding down against him. He was leaning back now on one of his elbows, his other hand resting on her thigh. His eyes on her hips. “I like it.” Her hands travelled down his chest. She clarified: “Both.”

“Yeah?” He asked, palm running up and down her leg, his fingers inching closer to her inner thigh. She hummed in agreement. Pulling his face up to kiss him. “I don’t wanna fuck you for the first time on this couch though.” He says, the trailer filled with giggling as he scooped her into his arms.

“As if that mattress of yours is any better.”

April. Eddie’s bed, early morning. She’s still asleep beside him. She’d been staying over a lot recently. He loved it. They need to get up for school, but the breeze coming through the window is tempting him to stay underneath the sheets. Her body is warm beside him, he loves not sleeping alone. He thinks about going back to sleep and pretending he was never awake. When she wakes up panicking about missing school he’ll just shrug and lure her back into bed. But he knows how much she cares, knows how much she wants to graduate. Knows how much she wants him to graduate. He watches her for a little while longer, she looks ethereal. He knows what he wants to say. He just can’t seem to find the words. Maybe one day.

He gets up, trudging to the kitchen as quietly as he can. Aware that he’s the only one awake in the place. They don’t have much, and he doesn’t know how to make the coffee she likes. He leaves that to her. So he just places some toast into the toaster and waits. She has a habit of not eating before school, he hates it. When he returns she's still sleeping, he places the plate down. Crawling on top of the covers to hover over her. When he places a kiss on her forehead her nose scrunches, he leans down to kiss that too. She groans as she wakes, his name being mumbled. He presses another kiss to her cheek, “Morning.” He mumbles.

“Hi.” She whispers, grasping his chin in one hand to squeeze his cheeks. Pulling him down to kiss her lips.

“I made you some breakfast.” He’s still whispering, their faces inches apart. “We don’t have long, you just looked so cute in my bed.”

She laughs, reaching for the toast. Watching him walk around the room, picking up clothes. Hers and his.

“What are you staring at?” He asks, he’s shirtless. Only a pair of sweats on his hips from when he went to the kitchen.

“You.” She says, “Come here.”

“We need to start getting ready.” He reminds her, but he obliges anyway. He really means that she needs to start getting ready. He can get ready in 5 minutes, but he doesn’t single her out - he knows better. He crawls to her, she's sitting up - he pushes her back down. His arms caging her in, his hips anchoring to hers.

“I think we can be late today.” She whispers into his mouth.

“Only if you can be quiet for me,” He says, “We don’t want to traumatise Wayne.”

May. He knows the sound of her car by now. He springs up from his seat on the couch, stepping over to the door to meet her at the bottom of the steps. “How are you feeling?” He asked, opening his arms to take her in immediately, when she met him at the bottom. She hadn’t been at school today, she didn’t feel good. He had felt lost.

“Like I got hit by a bus.” She jokes into his chest. He doesn’t laugh. She pulls away from him to walk up the steps, to escape the chilly air.

“I would have come to you.” He says, following closely behind her. “I wanted to come pick you up.”

“I was fine driving. And I feel better here, this is where I wanna be.” He never understood that, she loved his bedroom.

“Are you hungry? Do you want a drink?”

“I’m fine, Ed’s.” She laughs at how worried he looks. It also breaks her heart, he cares so much. “I just want to rest, I think. Can we put a movie on?”

“Yeah, sure.” He’s touching her again, caressing her back. Always comforting, always wanting her close. Anything he can think of to make her feel better. He knows she craves his touch, just like he craves hers. She goes to sit on the couch but he stops her, “Nope! No, bed rest!” He exclaims, pointing to his bedroom. He looks like a mother telling her child to go to bed.

“Bed rest?” She laughs, “But the tv is in here?” She points to the square television on the stand.

“I’m gonna wheel it in.” Eddie says, already crouching to untangle the wires.

“No, Eddie, we can sit in here!”

“No, no, no.” He mumbles, still behind the tv. “Go!” He says, pointing to his bedroom door again. She laughs, but obliges. Eventually, he gets the tv stand into his room.

“Where are you going?” She asks from under his covers as he turns to leave.

“I’m gonna get you a drink, and some snacks,” He sits on the edge of the bed to put his palm on her forehead, as if he knew what he was doing. “And then I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna be your doctor.”

“My doctor?” She laughs, he’s trying to push her down now, trying to pull the covers up to her chin and tuck her in.

“Yep.” He says, matter of factly. He stands to leave, her heart swells as she thinks about him. How much he cares, he had even wanted to leave school today to do this. She had convinced him to stay over the phone. She came to a conclusion recently: she loves him. He returns with snacks and water bottles, mumbling about how he’ll go to the pharmacy when she is asleep and clean out the cold and flu shelves. Getting her everything she needed. She smiles as he climbs into bed with her, encouraging her to eat and drink, threatening to feed them to her if he had too.

“Hey.” She mumbles, an hour into the movie. He hums, not looking at her, his eyes focused on the screen, chips being shovelled into his mouth.

“I love you.” She whispers, so low that he isn’t even sure he had heard her right. His mouth stops chewing, his eyes stay glued to the screen. She can almost see the gears turning in his head.

“What?” Is the conclusion he comes too, idiot - he thinks. He’s looking at her now, deer in headlights.

“I said that I love you.”

“Really?” His voice is so soft, she’s almost worried. Worried that she had scared him or that he didn’t reciprocate.

”Yes, Eddie.” She confirms. He’s hesitating. Fuck. He wants to say it back, needs to. He doesn’t know how. She understands, so she just kisses him softly on the cheek and settles back into his side to watch the movie. He breaks the silence with: “Am i gonna get sick now too? Because you just kissed me on the cheek?”

“Probably. Then I'll get to take care of you.”

June. 4am. Eddie wonders if other people feel like this. If anyone else ever feels like some kind of puppet on a string. As if he’s being controlled, the things he’s doing are just to impress other people. Headaches, emphasising pain. She’s asleep in his bed, a usual night for them now. He’s sitting by the window, cigarette in hand. Her velvet skin under velvet sheets, all he wants is to be in there beside her. He knows he won’t sleep, he doesn’t want to disturb her. Sometimes he feels like she is too fast to keep up with. While he tries to take things slow, she likes to dive in. Too fast for her own shadow. Silver lining, he always looks forward to seeing her. She keeps him busy. Galloping through his mind even when she isn’t with him. Loneliness - no more. Doesn’t want to be anywhere she’s not and this frustrates the shit out of him.

He finishes his cigarette, closing the window. No help, to be honest, the room always smells of smoke regardless. She doesn’t mind. He crawls back in bed beside her, she shuffles slightly. Pushing back into him, his arm rests over her frame. Warm and safe. So strange to him, still now. The next morning, he watches as she stands in his small kitchen, making two drinks. “Why are you watching me?” She laughs.

“I don’t know. I zoned out, you just look so good.” He smirks as she reaches for him, pulling him into a hug. He holds her tightly for a moment. She strokes his hair.

“You look tired.” She mumbles, her hand on his face, thumb tracing underneath his eye. “You should sleep at night instead of smoking out the window.”

He laughs before taking a sip of the coffee she had made and says: “Do I look like someone who prefers sleeping over smoking out the window?”

July. It’s cold. The kind of cold that makes your nose and ears and hands feel like ice. You can put gloves on, slip on a hat. But they still feel cold underneath. God, her brother would kill her if he knew she was sitting beside Eddie in his van, the joint being passed between them is almost done. The end fizzling orange as she watches him inhale the smoke before it circles around them in the van. What’s the fun in doing what you’re told? He’s watching her, she’s starting to think he can hear her internal monologue. Because right now, her eyes are travelling down his legs - thinking about how tightly the denim sits around his thighs.

“Give it a rest.” He smirks. She jumps at the sound of his voice, he smirks wider.

“What?”

“Stop staring at me.” He says.

“You don’t like it?” She tries, her smirk mimicking his.

“Depends.” He says, playfully. “Are you gonna come over here? Or are you gonna keep watching me from afar?”

She smiles - beautifully, he thinks. She practically crawls over to him, his eyes moving straight to her chest as she leans forward. Beautiful enough to break his heart. Her eyes were bright enough to pick it up and put it back together again. “Your hands are cold.” He laughs as she cradles his face. She’s sitting on his lap now, her thighs framing him. His eyes rake over her and her stomach stirs.

“Warm them up then.” She says, bringing her mouth to his. Her hands winding around his warm neck. His large palms move to her chest straight away.

“Eager?” She asks. He scoffs, pulling away from her mouth.

“Of course, look at these things!” He unbuttones the blouse she has on, just enough to get a glimpse of the way her tits sit in the cups of her bra. He practically moans and adjusts the way he’s sitting beneath her. Their crotches brush against each others as they continue to kiss. Messily and rushed. Hot - hands wandering and squeezing. Eddie, as vocal as ever, groaning against her neck as his pilowy lips meet the warm skin there. Lips exploring - Hands gripping, squeezing her chest. Soft, loving.

“What do you want?” He whispered against her lips, bringing his head back up to brush his mouth against hers, not quite touching.

“Use your hands.” She smirked back at him. His ringed fingers coming up to cup her jaw.

“What? These?” He laughs, wiggling his fingers in front of her face for effect. She nodded, grasping his wrist as he brought his hand up to her mouth, his thumb running across her bottom lip. Holding back a moan when she took it into her lips. Her tongue - warm, soft. His cock hardens in his jeans as the sun sets over them. As Eddie’s hands travel lower, the van eventually heats up to her liking.

August. 11am, she emerges from her car. A small jog as she makes her way towards him, leaning against the door frame. Waiting for her as usual.

“Hey!” She beams as she hops in. “How are you?”

“I’m alright.” He says, she laughs. It's early for him, 11. He looks tired, she can tell. Half an hour later they’re in his bedroom. He’s pulling out his pack of cigarettes as she flips through a magazine he had beside his bed. He’s nervous for a second, relieved when he leans over to see that it’s an appropriate one. He thinks she probably wouldn't care anyway.

“Ed’s, it’s still early. That’s not good for you.” Her usual rant. She smokes too, but she read in a magazine somewhere that smoking as soon as you wake up isn’t good for you. As if smoking is good for you at all. He’s seen her break that a few times, but he never says anything. He laughs around the cigarette that's now in his mouth. Fizzling orange, burning paper as he lights it. Smoke curling around the room. A roll of her eyes as she goes back to the magazine. Roaming the streets of Hawkins together - she should know by now, him smoking by 11am, is nothing. Eddie has his notebook on his lap - D&D stuff. She never asked to see it, knew he wouldn’t let her. He was an amazing artist. He had wonderful visions. His campaigns are always so beautiful. Not that he ever let her see, but what she had heard was always good.

“It does make us look cool.” She joked. “Especially you.”

“Since when have you thought I was cool?” He laughs. She looks up from the magazine.

“Hey! I’ve always thought you were cool!”

“Yeah, right.” They both laugh. When it dies down, she continues.

“I do. You’re my own personal bad boy.”

He almost chokes. He hates that his stomach stirs at her words. He pushes it down, trying to keep joking instead.

“Bad boy, huh?” Hm, maybe the wrong way to go. It comes out more suggestive than he intended.

“Well, yeah.” She gestured to him, the room she’s sitting in. The cigarette in his hand, the posters and the guitar on the wall.

“And, the yours part? What makes you think I'm yours?” Fuck, he’s really trying his luck here. His sudden wave of confidence so early in the morning surprised her.

“Of course you’re mine.” He doesn't miss the way her voice has dropped. “Who else’s are you?”

��Well, you are the one sitting in my bedroom right now. I’ve never had any other girl in here.”

“Mhm.” She hums in agreement. Her fingers stop flicking through the magazine. She pushes it aside and stands up. He gulps, watching as she approaches where he’s sitting, his back against the headboard, legs outstretched. He thought that maybe he had overstepped by mentioning the girl thing. He shuffles back more, sitting up straighter as she moves down to straddle his lap. Taking his cigarette from his fingers. She puts on her own mouth, his eyebrows raised. A comment about her 'it's too early’ rant on the tip of his tongue. He decides against saying anything when he realises her chest is inches from his face.

“Am i going to have to remind you who you belong too?” She asks. He’s shocked for a second, his hands staying by his side. He snaps out of it, slowly bringing his hands up to wrap around her, his palms resting on her bum.

“Hmm,” He leans in to press his lips to her chest, just above the v neck of her shirt. “I think you might have too. I seem to have forgotten.” His stomach swirls in anticipation at the sparkle in her eyes.

September. The Hideout. Always busy on a Saturday. Eddie is leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand. Looking down at his feet, dirty reeboks. Kicking stones around on the ground. The stars twinkled above him,

loud music behind him. The brick wall was cold underneath his shoulder. He looks up when a pair of equally dirty converse appear next to his own shoes. She doesn't say anything, just reaches into his pocket for his lighter.

“Are you gonna stay?” She asks, looking up at the sky.

“What’s the point? Our set sucked.” He’s miserable, she can tell.

“No it didn’t.” She says softly, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear. His gorgeous side profile glowing in the light. He scoffs, doesn’t believe her. “I’m not lying, you’re always good.”

“I disagree.” He mumbled, inhaling the last of the smoke before throwing the glowing end on the ground. She smiles, her hand still in his hair. Resting on the side of his head, he leans into her hand and brings his own up to grasp it. “I’m tired anyway.”

“Yeah, and it’s a saturday. You should be taking me on a romantic date.” She smirks.

“Bringing you to my show, for free, may I add - you don’t think that’s romantic?”

She turns to look back inside the venue, pretends to think about what he said. He laughs - “No.” She finally says, reaching for him to pull him close. “There isn’t any romance around here.”

“Oh, baby,” He whispers, his hands grasping onto her waist. “I think I disagree.” He leans down to kiss her, sloppily and messy. She laughed against his lips, a small ew whispered between kisses. “C’mon.” He mumbles, his hands on her waist guiding her to walk in front of him, delivering a small smack to her ass. “I wanna get you home, then I'll show you what romance is.”

October. “Oh, that’s funny!” She laughs sarcastically, Eddie cringes at the venom in her voice.

“What? You think you’re special or something?” He retorts. “I can’t just cancel shit for you all the time!”

“All the time? I just wanted one night, Eddie!”

He knows she's right, he had promised her. But he just can’t admit that he was wrong, a lifelong habit and burden he’d possessed. He’s struggling to keep his cool. Her standing opposite him, he can practically feel the anger radiating off of her. She stares at him for a moment, when she doesn’t get a reply, she sighs. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, a pause when she swings open the door. It’s raining, fucking hard. Eddie can see the conflict, he almost smiles - thinking he’d won. That she’d stay. His smile falls as she walks outside into the rain, slamming his front door. The whole trailer feels like it shakes.

“Shit.” He mumbles, he rushes to the door but pauses - hand on the handle. He debates letting her go, but decides he isn’t that stubborn. And it’s dark.

“Hey!” He yells at her, she’s already pretty far away. “Come back!”

He may not be stubborn enough to let her go, but she is stubborn enough to walk all the way to her house in the dark and rain. So he moves fast, practically sprints until he’s a few steps behind her. “Don’t be a fucking idiot.” He says, speaking up to be heard over the rain hitting the pavement.

“You’re the fucking idiot. I thought you were going to your stupid club?” She turns to face him, they’d only been outside for a minute or two but they were both already soaked.

He ignores her comment, he’s decided they aren’t going to fight anymore tonight. “Come back inside.” She pulls her arms away when he reaches for it, trying to walk away. He’s stronger than her, so he stops her from walking by grabbing both her shoulders as gently as he can. He can feel she’s shivering.

“Get off, Eddie!” She says, a little too loudly. God, he hopes none of the neighbours are watching this.

“Come back, you’re not walking in this fucking rain. And I'm not driving in it either. So come back, for tonight. I’ll sleep on the damn couch if that’s what you want and I'll take you home tomorrow.”

“No.” She tries to walk away from him again. But she turns to look at him sympathetically when he says “Please?”

He looks pathetic, wet hair, wet clothes. His bangs stuck to his skin. She knows she doesn’t look any better. She sighs, ripping away from him again but this time to turn and walk back towards the trailer. The warmth of the inside is familiar and welcoming. Eddie steps in behind her, both their clothes dripping water onto the floor. She’s the first to laugh. Now he’s a whole new level of confused. He just stares at her.

“You look stupid.” She laughs, he looks adorable. In all honesty. But she doesn’t want to say that right now.

“Do you think you look any better?” He’s laughing now too.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch, by the way.” She says quietly.

“Oh, gee, thanks.” He laughs. She watches as he makes his way to the bathroom, the sound of his shower running. “You know, i’ve never tested it out but, i’m pretty sure this is big enough for two people.”

“Hmm,” She pretends to think, joining him in the bathroom doorway. “It might be, if we stand close enough together.”

“Oh we will be.” He says stepping into the bathroom. “We need to be close enough for me to apologise properly.”

November. ‘The sun, the moon and the stars are you.’ Eddie had no idea what that meant. But it made his heart twist. It made his stomach flip and tears form in his eyes. The next line, ‘You, me and everything. Always.’ This is what he’d been doing for days. Skimming the page, the note she’d left on his bedside table. Eddie never understood poetry.

“Are you still reading that thing?”

He looks up towards her voice from where he’s seated on his bed, she’s watching him expectantly.

“It was only supposed to be fun, Ed’s. Don’t read too much into it.”

He doesn’t believe her. He knows he’s made her nervous by constantly reading and re reading the note. He’s made her think he didn’t like it, maybe she even thought that he thought it was weird. It was the total opposite - he was going to keep it forever. He put the note down and reached out his hands. She walked forward, taking his hands and letting him pull her between his legs.

“I love you.” He says against her skin after brimming her knuckles up to his lips. She says it back - he’ll never tire of it. “you’re mine.” He whispers into the skin of her wrist as she cups his face. She hums in agreement, admiring him.

“Say it.” He says. glancing up at her with a grin. She smirks back, pulling her hands from his grasp. Resting her fingertips on his jaw to tilt his head back. Fully looking at her, his mouth falls slightly open.

“I’m yours, Ed’s.” She leans down, their lips brushing. He breathes out - shuddering.

“Forever?” He teases. Still grinning at her. The pure love in his eyes makes her heart feel like it’s going to leave her chest and fly away. She knows he means it, and so does she.

“Forever.” She replies. Not being able to resist the love sick look in his eyes any longer - succumbing to the feeling and leaning down to kiss him properly. Drowning in him - his love. She manouvers herself onto his lap, her legs caging him. He leans back onto his elbows, admiring the sight of her sitting on his thighs. She’s above him again, her necklace hanging down in front of his face. Her lips found his again, a peck before travelling to his jaw. He moans breathlessly before asking - “Will you stay tonight?” His hands come up to grip her ass - pleading.

“I really shouldn’t.” She whispers against his ear. Excitement brewing in his stomach as her warm breath washes over his skin. He massages the skin in his hands mumbling a please.

“Do you get upset when I leave?” She asks. She wants to hear him say it. She selfishly wants to hear him beg her to stay, hear him tell her that he misses her when she leaves. He understands what she wants and smirks, his voice lowering - raspy, when he says. “Oh baby, of course I do. I cry when you leave.”

“Cry?” She giggles.

“Well,” He pulls her ass forwards, her centre brushing against the bulge beginning to form in his jeans. He doesn’t miss the way she bites her lip as the denim pushes against her. “I cry on the inside.”

She laughs, his favourite sound, and sits back to take off her shirt. His eyes widened in surprise, his eyes going straight to her chest. His hands squeezing her hips.

“Well,” She says, leaning back down to him. “Then I guess I'll have to stay.”

December. Eddie, scanning the shelves in a grocery store. List in hand. “He should settle down and find himself a wife! That's what he needs!” He overhears a woman say, a conversation between two friends. He had always hated societal norms. He had kind of made it his reputation, anyone would tell you. The whole settling down thing had never been on the cards for him. Until now - until he met her. As cheesy as that sounds, he hated saying it. Hated even thinking about it, the fear that would stir inside of him felt like no other.

Although, he feels that he doesn’t have to marry her. He wants too, god he wants too. The thought of calling her his wife did something to him. But, he doesn’t feel like he needs a ring to prove how much he loves her, he already knows neither of them is going to leave. And he knows that she knows as well.

He leaves the aisle he’s currently on, wondering where she had run off too. As soon as he sees the sign pointing to the Christmas decoration aisle, a small smile forms on his lips. He was right, and when he turned the corner he saw her further down the aisle. The cart was significantly fuller than when she had left him. Christmas cards and wrapping paper piled on top of their groceries. Some colourful lights there too.

“No tinsel.” He says as he approaches her, a small laugh when she jumps at his voice. “I hate that stuff.”

She laughs before saying, “You need this!” He follows where she's pointing, to one of those small trees that are made for desktops.

“Do I need it? For what?”

“For your bedroom! It’ll look so cute.” She’s smiling so big, he feels like he can’t say no. Honestly, he doesn't want a tree in his room. But he can almost see the way her face will light up whenever she walks in and sees it. He can’t miss that. He would never deny her, so he says, “Okay.” And dumps the box into the cart. Just as he predicted, she smiles so big that he can’t help but smile back.

“What’s next?” She asks, pointing to the list in his hand.

“Uhm,” He scans the paper, her adorable handwriting clouding his mind, “I think we got everything.”

“Are you just saying that because you wanna leave?” She asks, hands on her hips. “Because this is very important stuff.”

“Is it?”

“Yes!” She genuinely looks shocked. “It’s Saturday, Ed’s. It’s movie night. These snacks are very, very important.”

“Well, as long as we have popcorn, I think we’re good to go.” His eyes scan the multiple bags she had thrown in.

“You can never have enough.” She says, watching his eyes scan the cart. Predicting what he was going to say.

“I think you can, actually.” He mumbles, more to himself, as she passes him with the cart.

“What do you want for christmas?” She asks him, surprising him.

“Nothing.” He wants to avoid this conversation, he hates receiving gifts. He already has hers, in a little box next to his bed. In the draw buried underneath his heavy metal magazines, somewhere he knows she won’t look.

“Don’t be stupid. I’m gonna get you something, and it’s gonna be great.”

“Oh yeah?” He says, his eyes travelling to her neck. Thinking about how the necklace in the box will look. He had spent a lot of money and got some funny looks while buying it. So he hopes she’ll love it.

“Yeah. I know what I'm gonna buy.” She says. He’s so observant that he doesn’t miss the way her eyes move to his hands. New rings perhaps? He’d actually love that. He’d been wearing these for a while. “And i’m gonna come see you on christmas day, you and Wayne.”

“You don’t need to do that.” He says, wrapping an arm around her as they walk. Christmas had never been a big deal to him, he’d never really done the family christmas thing.

“Of course I do.” She smiles.

“Yeah, you're right.” He says, “When else would I give you your amazing present?”

“You could give it to me now?” She smirks. “Or I could just search for it.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” He gasps. “You love surprises.”

Another thing that was so different about them, but worked so well. He hated surprises, but this one he couldn’t wait for. He knows how well she knows him, and he’s honestly excited to see what she buys. A year ago, he might have been upset. He always thought he didn’t deserve gifts, he didn’t deserve someone knowing her as well as she did. But she had made that all go away. For once, he was excited about the holidays, excited about Christmas day. One thing he was also excited for was the future. He couldn’t wait to be surprised by her forever. He couldn’t wait to love her forever, he couldn’t wait to be loved - forever.

#will this flop like part two?#probably #but im so proud of this series and I've loved writing it #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #joseph quinn #eddie munson angst #joseph quinn x reader

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your-kneecaps-are-mine-now · 11 months

Text

!!SPOILERS FOR MAG S1-S5!!

Okay, I tried this before but it didn’t save right so here we go again. This is gonna be shorter. please don’t spoil the finally for me I just finished MAG183, and if you don’t want spoilers please leave, NOW. This will be going into a bit of detail on specific VERY SPOILER episodes.

OkiDoki, lets do this. You have been warned.

The tape recorders, lets talk about them. When we first start the series the listener assumes that the recorders are just a way of conveying the story to them, but as the plot progresses the characters begin to notice and comment on out of place recorders. To the point it begins to become a source of frustration and conflict between our main cast in seasons 2-3. But the listener continues to think that they are listening through The Eyes recorders, especially after Smirke’s classification is explained in MAG 111: Family Busines(Transcript) *side note* if ur on a computer ctrl-F is the find command, enter whatever word you want to find in the drop down. But, as one gets into season 4 & especially season 5 its made more clear the the recorders are a common occurrence for The Archivist,( MAG 161: Dwelling, Transcript) LEITNER: “Right. (brief pause) Did you mean to leave the tape running?” GERTRUDE: “Oh, good grief. Forty years I’ve been using them, and I swear, I’ll nev–” [TAPE CLICKS OFF.] I’m not going to go through every episode but from my memory its implied a few times that Gertrude had a similar problem of forgetting to turn the recorder off or not turning it on in the first place. Not sure if Elias recorded this one on purpose, why would he though, but MAG 158: Panopticon(Transcript) where we get to literally hear him murder Gertrude. some more obvious evidence from season 5 would be MAG 181: Ignorance(Transcript) SALESA : “Things shouldn’t be able to manifest in here like that.[referring to the recorder]” “In that case, we shall leave it to be.[referring to the recorder] It’s hardly valuable, and it’s probably best not to upset whatever it might be involved with.” Its stated in this episode and the one before it( MAG 180: Moving On, Transcript) that its a blind spot for the powers, and that they can’t know it’s there w/o seeing it themselves. MAG 170: Recollection(Transcript) MARTIN: “Wow, retro! What are you up to, little buddy; just – listening?” “(pleasant surprise) Oh, he-hello! What are you? Huh. Didn’t even know I had a tape recorder. Do you still work, or…”. these clips, mainly Salesa’s, imply that the recorder might be Eye aliened but not affiliated. Along with the way the Martin treats the recorder in this season and the last season(4, not gonna go through the effort of finding those clips) means that he thinks someone or something is listing.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my spiral into slight madness. I had a bit about Jude knowing where Mike Crew lived but I wasn't in the mood to re-do that deep dive, maybe another time. Feel free to engage w/ this how ever you want, re-post and add commentary, or comment, or whatever. LMK your thoughts. <3

#tma #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma theory #idk how to tag help #slowly going insane #i was doing yard work 2hrs away from home w/o any connection while listening to 179-183 #tell me im wrong #just think about it #johnathan sims #martin blackwood #mikaele salesa #gertrude robinson #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #gertrude got what she deserved #the magnus pod #the magnus institute #TMA recorder theory

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cleostoohot · 2 years

Note

hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don��t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

you have a very bad victim mentality. at the end of the day you are human just like everybody else luv. you are allowing your manifestation journey to be hard and using your mental illness as an excuse (i hope that doesn’t sound insensitive omg). nothing can stop you BUT U. i highly suggest you use my ROE technique. because regardless off your mental illness, spiraling, etc, you will get your manifestations. also don’t give yourself a deadline if your not even confident that you can manifest in the first place. the whole deadline thing was supposed to be to release resistance. not because you’re eager and want it now. if you want to dm me you can (ik i didn’t answer everything you probably wanted me to)🫶🏽

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riykore · 1 year

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Grammar Explanation: 못 vs. 수 없다

I want to explain to myself how to differentiate between these words because I say “I can’t speak Korean well” a lot, and i wanted to know the difference between these words, their meaning + nuisances. Please point out any errors!

these are mostly notes for me, but i hope it’s also helpful to anyone else who may find this. i’m still at a beginner level when it comes to korean learning, so i’m definitely not qualified to teach anything so pls lmk if anything is wrong and i’ll edit the post!

sources at the bottom.

Saying “can’t” in Korean.

못 (하다)/지 못하다- can’t

수 없다 - can’t

1. 못: Like the others, it translates to “can’t” in english, but it’s specifically used to stress that something cannot be done (specifically by the subject) because it is not possible given the circumstances. when using this, it only specifies that the subject can’t do *something* at the moment, not in general.

-ex: subject can’t do something because of an injury, personal reason…maybe not strong enough, etc.

-an adverb; can only be placed before a verb and not a noun. if a verb is a verb that contains a noun also, it’s placed in between.

난 공부 못 하다 = I can’t study

못 is placed in between the word 공부 (study/noun) and 하다 (to do/verb), however 공부하다 is one verb that means “to study”.

지 못하다 is just placed after an action verb stem. usually used in more formal situations.

also to stress that someone can’t do something because they’re bad at it. (can’t do something well)

Naver Dict. - (잘하지 못하다) be bad[poor] (at), be weak (in)

*note that 못하다 is one word unlike 못 하다

so, 못 하다 means one is unable to do something while 못하다 means that you’re bad at something.

2. (ㄹ/을)-수 없다: similar meaning to the 1st one. it is used in a situation to say that something is impossible due to certain circumstances for the subject. however, it’s especially used to stress that the subject can’t do something beyond their control.

you can remember this by breaking it down like this

수 = abilty

없다= to not have

ex: 나는 음식 없이는 살 수 없다. = i can’t live without food.

or basically, without food there is no ability/way to live.

-another way it differs from 못: 수 없다 will be used to stress a strong refusal to do something given the circumstances.

나는 내 전화기 없이 살 수 없다. = I can’t live without my phone.

Because of these differences, it may seem weird to use this form in certain situations. example:

I can’t speak Korean well:

나는 한국어를 잘 말하지 못한다 ✅

나는 한국어를 잘 말할 수 없다. ❌

because of the nature of 수 없다, it is weird to use it when saying that someone can’t speak Korean well, because it implies that speaking well is behind their control, or that it is impossible to do so.

youtube

#Youtube #language learning #langblr #koreanlearning #language #studyblr

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diorbabe66 · 2 years

Note

hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don’t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

dm me babes!!

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thedreamgirljournal · 2 years

Note

hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don’t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

hi honey! i’m so sorry you’re struggling with your mental health, and i’m even sadder about your parents not letting you treat it properly with therapy. you should be able to go to therapy; mental illness is just as valid as any other illness. i want you to know this is a safe place and your feelings are 100% valid.

to be honest, i’ve never experienced bpd, so i can only imagine what you’re going through. the best advice i can give you is to take it day by day, step by step, not over stress, always be mindful of your mental health; that is your first concern. don’t ask too much of yourself. take your time and take pride in the many successes i’m sure you’re gonna get. my favorite loa blog is @cinefairy ; you can get a lot of very good advice from there. try to find your “manifestation style” by doing what’s more comfortable for you. again, day by day, without over stressing.

i hope everything works out for you!!! keep me updated. i believe in you and i know you’ll get there. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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crows-spells · 2 years

Note

hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don’t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

-long read-

first off, i wanna encourage you, cuz i really do think you’re on the right track. i would go back and forth until i got tired of it and put my foot down and decided i’m not taking anything less than what i want, and it looks like you’re at that point too. we know that what we want is out there and that we’re gonna get it, but it can be tiring exhausting and frustrating. but it doesn’t have to be, don’t put up with it anymore! you deserve better!

before we start

• i am not a mental health professional

• i am not diagnosed with anything

• take whatever advice/ideas/mindset feels right and leave whatever doesn’t resonate

• feel free to dm me.

let me remind you right off the bat that you can have ANYTHING. no matter what it is. so i suggest manifesting therapy anyway, because it doesn’t matter that your parents aren’t for it, you’re the creator of your reality and what you decide for you is what is right, your parents could change their mind in an instant. no matter what it is you can manifest it. don’t hold back at all, because manifesting takes 0 effort so just make everything right! you know what i mean?

and alongside this i want to remind you that not only can you have anything, but that it’s easy to as well. literally nothing can stop you, block you, hold you back or make it difficult in any way. being BPD does not make it any harder because we are limitless beings, right? i know quite a few people with disorders such as bipolar and borderline personality disorder who are quite dear to me, they have such absolutely brilliant beautiful minds and that disorder cannot hinder you. just know that you can have anything you want no matter what! no matter if you have a bad day, or spiral or have a depressive episode, you’re still manifesting that whole time.

also i want you to know that you have the power to say that ur not gonna manifest bad things. like in the instance that you do spiral, you’re the one who decides whether that will manifest or not. you can choose to say “my bad thoughts can’t manifest” we think thousands of thoughts a day, but the whole time our mind is judging bad or good, wanted or unwanted, realistic or unrealistic. so just decide what’s realistic and what’s not. that’s up to YOU!

let’s use a silly example because i don’t know what you’re manifesting. if you are imagining that you just start floating around the ceiling, your brain is gonna say whether or not you think that’s realistic. if you just keep telling yourself that it’s realistic then it will be, but if you keep up the conviction that “no that’s not possible, how would that happen?” then you’ll be persisting in that reality.

it’s pretty simple in words, but in practice our brains just don’t stay on track. i mean to be fair, that in itself an assumption and is subject to change. i’ve started affirming that i automatically stay loyal to my desires. not that wording specifically but i basically just imply that my mind is always remembering the new story and that manifestation and living in the end is automatic. but it’s okay if you get off track. it’s okay if you forget who you are for a moment. cuz this moment is a new possibility and consciousness is endless. as i’ve been affirming this i’ve noticed my mindset change, i’ve noticed myself automatically assuming for the better. your mind and thoughts are also manifestations and assumptions that are up to you.

it literally does not matter if you spiral, how long you spiral or how often. like i said, you’re deciding whether your thoughts are realistic or if they’ll manifest, so it doesn’t matter to be honest. you can fully revise spiraling or negative thoughts or just assume that all that was silly daydreams that have nothing to do with your reality and go back to living in the end like nothing ever happened!

you want to find your way and unlearn everything, that’s great! that’s what i felt i needed to do, so i’m gonna get you started with everything you need to know. you already know this, you already always knew exactly what you needed to do, so this is really just a reminder.

you manifest whatever you assume is true

there, that’s it, that’s all you need to know. now you can start writing your own rules. such as only being able to manifest positive and wanted things and negative stuff never manifests. that you always get what you want by/before the deadline. whatever you want. just choose your assumptions, that’s all we’re doing, and that’s all we ever did before we just didn’t know we were doing it.

so from now on “methods” aren’t a thing. you’re just living your life and anything you do gets you what you want!! whether you still use things considered as methods or not, because personally, i do affirm. but my affirmations are just me reminding myself what is true. sometimes i notice myself saying my affirmations anxiously and have to remind myself that they’re already true and i’m not making anything happen. it doesn’t matter how many times you have to remind yourself of the new story or remind yourself that you’re powerful. it WILL become automatic. just let yourself believe, let yourself entertain the thought, because you KNOW what you assume is true is true. you know damn well in your soul that it works otherwise you wouldn’t have put so much effort into it. revise everything. anything you got tripped up on before, forget about it, never happened. you understand manifesting completely and you always do it right. you’re already doing everything right you’ve just been telling yourself for some reason that it’s not working or that it wont. that little voice exists for all of us, but what you feed only grows. so starve out the doubt because it’s dependent on you. everything in the world is dependent on your belief in it.

i think sometimes we tell ourselves no and forget that we’re allowed to change that answer. when you were a kid you were told “you can’t always get what you want” but you were also told “you can be anything! you can do anything! life is beautiful!” and i think we just take the first one more seriously and decide that’s the truth but u gotta realize you can change the rules at any moment just as easily as when you set them. what you decide is the truth is the only thing set in stone. so decide. right now just decide the rules. and every day as you go along, keep writing the rules. you can change it all in an instant. anything someone says is just an option, a possibility, you don’t have to take it so seriously because it’s no more difficult to change. you are the only source of creation! you already know all these things inherently, and here you tell me that you’re also consciously aware of these, you know everything there is to know. so now it’s your turn to write some rules and live life as you please.

this is the way to not make it feel like a chore. writing your own rules and just being yourself. switch from learning mode and doing mode to living mode, being mode. how do you do that? it’s easy. just say it’s done. just say “i am doing everything correctly right now.” boom! you did it! congratulations i am so f*****g proud of you! wasn’t that so easy? and it doesn’t feel any different because this is your reality now. you are right now consciously only choosing what you want. nobody else’s rules matter except T’s rules. you have everything you want. play pretend. imagine yourself living the life you want to. it’s safe to, i promise! there’s nothing left to be done or to think about or to try! it’s finished! it’s safe to just go on and be the person you wish you were or have the things you wish you had because you ARE and you DO!

you can now have fun with manifesting! you can just focus on fun things and manifesting for others and manifesting all the stuff you wanted to manifest in the future “when you got better at manifesting” cuz you’re literally so good at manifesting right now! manifesting is fun cuz u literally don’t have to do anything.

let me tell u a secret also 🫢 ur allowed to consume as much info as u want

yeah literally. overconsumption doesn’t exist. it’s just ur attitude/mindset. are you scrolling blogs thinking “i gotta find a new method i gotta figure out how to make this happen this time” or reading asks like “look they are failing too, i wonder what we’re doing wrong” or are you instead, reading blogs and asks with the knowing that it’s done? because one mindset will continue to manifest uncertainty and insecurity and the other will manifest more confidence in your power and manifest automatically that you have everything because you just know. how do you KNOW though? that’s what confused me when i first got on LoA tumblr. like how can i do that? don’t i either know or not know? just tell yourself you know it once twice, a million times until it catches on. but all it really takes is just once. just start introducing the concepts you want to yourself as fact until they catch on and become so. saying until makes it seem like it will take time but really that’s not the case. the shift happens instantly, but your mind might be asking some questions or challenging that. it doesn’t mean anything, just keep pushing, keep persisting. there’s only one moment, this one right now. what you feed in this moment will only get stronger in this moment.

i started years ago with law of attraction and i would go back and forth and get myself all confused, switching up my beliefs, changing my desires cuz i thought some of them would be too hard to achieve, changing methods because the old ones “weren’t working” but i realized a bit ago that i’m smarter than i think, and i could have had everything since day one i just didn’t think it was possible then. but i know better now. i know i write the rules. that’s all that really matters. it doesn’t matter how many blogs i read because i don’t let myself take in others limiting beliefs. it doesn’t matter if i sit around sulking or doubting because i can get back up again and decide none of that was true. i was real bad for a long time feeling helpless and hopeless and thinking the stuff i did wouldn’t work. but i had to change that story that i was telling myself, and that’s all it took. i haven’t been depressed in a while but i know that if that ever happens again i’ll be okay and still be able to manifest. i know that all my emotions are natural and okay, but what i tell myself/believe is what makes the difference. i did have to force myself to stop focusing on the negative, but that came with the determination and knowing that i’m either gonna do this or not do it, so it’s not really worth it to sulk. it’s either gonna work or not work and either way i’d rather be thinking about what i want. but still, i have also successfully manifested things while feeling anxious, depressed or just awful in general. so i know for a fact it’ll never matter that i’m not mentally well sometimes because i’ll still get what i want.

your feelings, reactions, and interpretations are normal and okay. y jealously is normal and okay. just remind yourself you already have it. seeing someone else with what you want in the 3D should be a celebration!!! like omg that’s something you want and it exists in the world for you to have. everyone is you pushed out so someone else having it is really just proof that it’s yours already. so it’s okay if you feel jealous at first. don’t ever beat yourself up for your feelings. honor them and respect them but remind yourself who you are. you’re god. i mean i was raised christian and was told our god is a jealous god so tbh jealousy is godly and okay. just don’t let it manifest as you still not having it. turn it around and let that be you. see yourself with it cuz it’s already yours. i don’t have to tell you what to do, you’re gonna figure out all of how to deal with each thing on your own, writing your own rules and just letting go of whatever doesn’t work for you cuz you know you can do this your way. you wouldn’t have written this ask if you didn’t think it was possible, and you thinking of it as a possibility means it’s already yours, so i’m not worried ab you at all, you got this. i think you already figured it out, cuz once you decided to unlearn the bullshit and do it your way, you already stepped into your power. so by the time you read this i assume you know what to do. i’m proud of you. feel free to dm me but i know you got this

i hope this helped!

p.s. i’m sorry this is so long but you sound JUST LIKE ME so i feel like i’m telling past me what i needed to hear. i’m sending u love and knowing that everything is gonna work out for u

edit:

i meant to say this before but i forgot. i don’t know who to suggest cuz i kinda just scroll on this app. there’s some that do stick out to me as really good so i’ll try to compile a list but also i don’t really know anyone v well.

#manifestation #loa #manifest #law of assumption #neville goddard #how to manifest #loassumption #manifesting #law of assumtion #law of attraction #asks #asks open #answered asks #self concept

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ndeyebaby · 2 years

Note

hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don’t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

Hello, T!

Your story sounds a lot like mine. I’ve never been diagnosed with bpd, but I’ve had depression which really messed me up regarding my manifestations.

Thank you for trusting me enough to pour your heart out to me.

What I need you to know is that manifesting methods and techniques are almost irrelevant if you can see your desire in your mind’s eye or hear confirmation of it in your mind’s ear it decree it to be true and trust in it.

So all you really need to do is to define and objective and accept that it is DONE. You don’t need to complicate it anymore than that.

Feel free to message me btw :-) let’s talk more in detail

#ask

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 2 years

Text

Looking for a fic?

by NatashalieRushman

Hi, I'm struggling to find a fic I must've forgot to bookmark!

It's essentially a time loop plot set at first in some kind of stadium but everyone remembers the time loop but Dick, and the fic more so gets going at the point where they've saved him and broken the time loop. But I can't find it anywhere! I think it's a series which also has another sequel within it. If anyone knows what this could be please could you lmk!

Happy Halloween

Words: 84, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Slade Wilson

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/42729438

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the cape crusader #gotham #dc universe #ao3 #ao3feed

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

favorite crime

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood / death, lots n lots of angst

summary: you convince peter to go on the run after he’s framed for murdering mysterio, but he doesn’t want to drag you into his mess

a/n: this was completely based off the song by olivia lfmbsjfhs it’s so beautiful and i’ve wanted to write something for it for a while now so yee i hope y’all like ! pls lmk what you think <3

“we have to get you out of here, peter! come on!” you shout back to your boyfriend and tug his hand that’s laced with yours.

peter doesn’t budge. even when your grip on him tightens, when you pull him forward with all your might, he remains stoic.

there’s something he needs to do, and he’s been contemplating it since the day he met you.

it’s time to let you go.

“please, peter. i’m begging. i know you’re tired of running, but if we don’t leave now… they’ll find you,” you desperately choke out. peter squeezes his eyes shut, dreading what’s to come. “i can’t do this to you anymore, y/n. i… i’m sorry.”

emergency sirens and flashing lights approach the old apartment building serving as yours and peter’s latest hideout. the whole world is on the lookout for him, so you two stowed yourselves away in brooklyn for a bit.

you were hopeful the rumors would pass eventually — about how peter shot the beloved mysterio and left him to die in cold blood. they’re merely talk, of course. you’d personally seen the events of that day unfold on the tower bridge. hell, your class was right at the center of them.

quentin beck was pure evil, so rotten he defamed both peter and spider-man with a charge as cruel as murder. he’s wreaking havoc on him from beyond the grave, over a complete misunderstanding that peter had nothing to do with.

beck’s true source of anger is stark industries. yet, once again, peter ended up the collateral damage.

he was deemed a wanted murderer. posters revealing his name and face were plastered up around the city, a reward even being offered to whoever who turns him in.

you’d proposed the idea of skipping town until things settled. the way you saw it, it was peter’s only option other than prison for twenty-five to life. peter was panicking and couldn’t think straight, so he went along with your getaway plan.

a few weeks later, he’s regretting it.

you’ve been the one person he could trust through this madness. you’re right there to console him, to protect him just like he does you. through sickness and health, life and clearly death, you stick by peter’s side. you left everything behind without a second thought, for him.

peter loves you more than you’ll ever fully be able to comprehend, which is why he can’t ask you to do that. this is his battle to fight, not yours or anyone else’s. his.

you suddenly freeze in your tracks, turning around to look at peter. “what are you talking about? you’re fine, pete.”

his eyes roam everywhere except to yours as they water. blinking back tears, he fixes his gaze on your intertwined hands. you notice a stray tear fall down his cheek and use one of your thumbs to wipe it away, then press a reassuring kiss to his lips. peter lets himself reciprocate momentarily before jerking back.

“please just… stop being so nice to me. you’re making this way harder than i wanted to to be,” he rasps and squeezes your hand tighter. you’re still lost, absolutely clueless about what he’s referring to.

“look, pete. i wanna hear you out, baby. but… i think it should wait until we get to jersey.” you keep your voice as calm as possible, though you’re terrified for both of you. since the feds know your location, they’ll have the place surrounded any minute.

hopping cities isn’t cutting it anymore, so you’ll have to change states this time. new jersey is next on your list.

using his strength to his advantage to hold you in place, peter seizes both your shoulders. his bloodshot eyes lock with yours. a stern expression coats his features, one you’ve seen from him yet never been on the receiving end of.

“we’re not going to jersey, y/n/n,” he declares, the sirens starting to grow louder. you feel a pit forming in your stomach. “we have to!” you immediately protest. “it’s not gonna be easy finding our way, but it’s the last-“

peter cuts you off, voice softer now. “no, no. that’s not what i meant.” he waits a beat and inhales a deep breath, aiming to settle his nerves. it doesn’t.

“i’m going to jersey. you’re staying.”

tears cloud your vision the second those words leave his mouth. you shake your head furiously back and forth, willing him to take them back.

part of you was always afraid peter would get second thoughts. not only about running away with you, about ever being with you. you’re both so young. your entire lives are ahead of you, and peter won’t allow you to risk your own because this isn’t worth a single bit of it.

he’d warned you how dangerous it was to be associated with spider-man. it’s why he held off on telling you about his alias for the longest he could. you naturally began asking questions whenever peter bailed on dates and showed up to school covered in bruises. he hated lying to you, using his stark internship as an excuse, so he finally came out and said it.

peter sometimes wonders if you’d be better off not knowing at all. it’s too late now, though.

“wait, what? why- why can’t i go with you?” you plead, peter’s fingers coming up to cup your cheek. his fingertips lightly caress your skin. “i’m a criminal, y/n. you’d be my accessory.”

it takes everything in him not to break down and sob along with you.

you lean into his palm, already missing his touch. “i don’t care... i don’t give a fuck. i just wanna be with you, peter.” peter literally has to bite his tongue to fight the urge to cry. hands grabbing either side of his head, your fingers twist in his hair roughly. “i’ll do anything, pete. i really will, i swear. name it.”

peter threads his own fingers through yours again, bringing your hands to his chest.

“i’m so sorry, angel. i never should’ve gotten you involved,” he murmurs out and pecks your forehead. “you have nothing to prove to me, okay? you’ve done more than enough. i’m gonna return the favor.”

you let out a strangled whine, your knees buckling as you come to terms with the gravity of your situation.

this is it. this is the end of yours and peter’s story.

“hey, none of that. it’s okay,” peter coos, neither of you convinced. the tastes of salt and metal flood both your senses. he helps you back up and hugs your waist, peppering your cheeks in more kisses. you’re bawling now, arms wound around his neck, clutching at his tattered jacket.

free tears escape peter’s eyes at last. “i love you. i love you so goddamn much, y/n. never forget it,” he nearly whispers. you sniffle and push your forehead against his. “i’m not saying it back ‘cuz that feels like a goodbye, and i- i can’t say goodbye to you yet.”

“it’s not a goodbye,” peter reassures you, rubbing circles on your lower back. “it’s, uh, it’s a see you later. i’m gonna figure something out and be back to you before you know it. can’t get rid of me that easy.”

that earns a faint giggle from you, peter managing a grin. you two attempt to ignore everything happening beyond these walls, only focusing on the other.

“then, um…” you clear your throat. “i love you.” his smile dwindling slightly, peter nods and meets your gaze. “i love you too, baby. you should probably get going soon.”

affirming his advice, a booming voice that sounds from a microphone commands peter to come out with his hands up.

your worry spikes, instinctively drawing peter in closer. he forces himself to put on a brave face for you.

“i’m scared, pete. where… where am i supposed to go?” you rush to ask him. “home, y/n/n. go home,” peter decides, pressing a final kiss to the top of your head. “just don’t get caught, and you’ll be fine.” carding your fingers in his undone curls, you sigh. “easier said than done, but i’ll try not to.”

you’d never pictured that the sweet boy with a heart too big and brain even bigger, who sings you to sleep even though his voice sucks and spends his last dollar buying you flowers, would be accused of first degree murder. it isn’t true or fucking fair.

what’s worse, he has to bare this storm alone now.

you lift your heavy backpack off the cold ground, slinging it onto your shoulders. peter stares out the window and down at the assembly of swarm troops crowded together.

“are you gonna be okay?” you catch his attention. he snaps back into reality, pulling your hood up so it covers your head. you’re wearing a sweatshirt of his, after having gone through all your own clothes. “i hope so. are you?” peter repeats your question. “i hope so,” you echo.

tying your hoodie strings tight, peter offers a smile. “say hi to may for me. ned and mj, too.” it’s going to be tough to face his family and friends after this. “i will. i’ll let them know you’re alright.” you kiss his cheek, placing a hand on his chest. peter lets your touch distract him from the mess he’s about to be hit with.

“thank you, y/n. i’ll see you soon, baby. you have my word,” he promises, stepping back so you two can go your separate ways.

you watch him with fresh tears threatening to spill.

“i’m gonna hold you to it. be safe, spidey.”

290 notes · View notes