#but those are kind of my hot button issues i think

[maxtermind]

baby, would i still be your lover?

★ : summary :: when he accidentally insults you during an argument ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: angst ★ : word count :: 2.9k ★ : a/n :: as much as i love making the crack texts, i'm just an angst addict 😔

Max Verstappen

Everyone, people who weren’t even in Max’s close proximity, knew that he was impulsive and a little reckless. With you, on the contrary, Max was usually a think first, act later kind of a lover. That wasn’t to say that when arguments happened, they were a pretty sight to look at.

It was a single thing that you said which suddenly turned into a huge blown out argument, leaving your head throbbing as Max continued to vent his frustrations about unrelated issues.

"You're so hot-headed, you can't even have a normal conversation without blowing up."

"Attacking me now, are you?" Max retorted, his tone defensive.

He was quick to bite back and the ball in your throat made it scratch-y to talk. You were sure that your eyes were welling up with tears but he was too far away to see it.

"I'm just stating the truth.” You started after taking a shuddering breath. “Every time we talk, it turns into a fight because you can't control your temper."

"Well, maybe if you didn't push all my buttons, we wouldn't be here."

He was talking in the same decibel at least and for a second you had hope that everything would be better. Then his words registered and the hope vanished as well.

"I'm not the one who flies off the handle at the slightest provocation!"

You had to stop and take another breath, otherwise, you were going to start crying and this conversation was inevitably going to get left in between because Max wasn’t an asshole who was okay with his girlfriend crying just because he was angry.

"You know what? I'm sick of your constant criticism."

"And I'm sick of walking on eggshells around you!"

He took a moment to say the next thing. The silence indicating that he was thinking it over first. Max's next words hung in the air, heavy with implication.

"Fine, maybe we should just call it quits then."

The suggestion hit you like a punch to the gut. Was this really that easy for him? He just ripped your heart out and splashed it on the ground. Your chest hurt so much and he was just sitting there? Was he not at all affected by the way you looked close to crying now?

"Fine. Enjoy being single and available," you retorted, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion.

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes looking over at you, indicating how he didn’t really think that you guys were breaking up. Though in your head, this was the last time you were ever going to look into his eyes again.

"You're too sensitive, always getting upset over nothing."

You were already on the edge, not having even processed that you guys almost- probably did break up over you trying to talk something out with him.

“Us breaking up is nothing to you?”

The weight of his words crashed over you, the tears finally spilling down your cheeks. Max's expression softened, regret flashing in his eyes, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and the fragile bond between you felt irreparably shattered.

Lewis Hamilton

How can one tell if they really are in a good relationship? Is it the security and sense of peace? Is it the frequent love confessions? Honestly, the explanation might differ person to person but one thing you always believed that made a relationship was being level headed even during arguments when emotions were running high

Needless to say, you were very glad you found solace in Lewis. A person who was prone to recognizing the impact of his words. Arguments between you two were rare, and when they did occur, Lewis prioritized finding solutions rather than escalating the conflict. His ability to remain level-headed during disagreements was a cornerstone of your relationship.

Everyone has those days though, when acting out of character seems more suitable than the usual. Moments when emotions override reason.

You were more worked up than usual. Your insides were burning with this desire to get answers because your boyfriend wasn’t there with you on the day you needed him the most.

You drove back home from your conference, dismayed despite it being a very successful session, given that your proposal got accepted as soon as you were done. You just wished your chocolate eyed man was sitting in the crowd looking at you with his signature proud smile.

After a shower, you sat on your couch to watch some show and just move on from the bittersweet day. It was an hour later, when your boyfriend showed up with a bouquet in his hand. Lewis walked over to you and leaned down to kiss your head.

“Congratulations, love," he greeted, oblivious to the storm brewing within you. “Saw it on the news, sorry I couldn’t join you. Got caught up with work.”

Usually, you would have avoided the argument till you felt like you could understand his side too. That was one of the things that helped you guys the most. You both waited to discuss stuff till you knew you were calm and ready to get what the other was saying.

“Aren’t you too busy with work lately?”

He gave a humorous huff in return, not catching on.

“You know how it is once the season starts.”

“You literally got home last night and you had to go in again early in the morning?”

“Missed me?”

He had a playful grin on his face and it killed you to spoil the good mood.

"Of course, after all you're more committed to your cars than you are to me."

The words left your mouth and you were too far gone to be caring about it at this point. Lewis has been such a passionate lover so this sudden shift was hurting you.

“What was that?” he responded, his tone sharp with surprise.

However, you were done and already up to call in early but his words stopped you on our track.

“Wow. You're so insecure, it's exhausting trying to boost your ego all the time."

Tears immediately welled up in your eyes but you didn’t turn around and with a deflated sigh, walked into your bedroom before locking the door while Lewis stood frozen in his place, not believing his own words.

It was like he was in a stance and all he could do was listen to you cry through the closed door on a day when you guys were supposed to be celebrating each other’s wins.

Carlos Sainz

Carlos was the perfect man. His mature yet easy going demeanor was exactly what you needed in a partner. You hadn't been together for that long to be at the altar but just enough to know that you were going to last.

You understood the demands on Carlos's time, with his career in the spotlight of the racing world when you decided to say yes to a date with him. Carlos was left with very less time away from all the glam, media and the track. Making it precious because of how rare it was.

You mostly accompanied him and let him drag you around to wherever he wanted once he had the break. So imagine your surprise when the only time you made some pretty important plans and he refused to tag alone.

"I can’t believe you’re saying no to this," you protested, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

“I’m not saying no to anything, Carina.” He kissed your knuckles to un-knot the strong fist you’ve made of them. “I’m just suggesting we do it some other time.”

"But this is the third time, Carlos!" You stood up, unable to contain your hurt and disappointment. “Sorry if meeting my parents is such a chore for you.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth now.” Carlos responded with a sigh, attempting to pull you into a hug, which you reluctantly accepted. “It's not about it being a chore. You know I'd do anything for you, Y/N."

"I do know that, but actions speak louder than words, Carlos. My family is important to me."

“I promise that I want to meet them. I do. It's just… the timing."

"I don't want promises, Carlos. I want actions. If you can't even make it to meet my parents, what does that say about our future?" You insisted with a heavy heart, putting distance between you two.

"You're blowing this out of proportion, Y/N." Carlos countered, frustration evident in his voice.

"Out of proportion? I just wanted you to meet my family, and you can't even do that!"

“Well, I don’t have time to waste on this! If you want to go, just go alone!” His words hung in the air, a sharp pang of hurt piercing through you.

You immediately took a step back and saw him do the same. Both of you standing there as the silence stretched, contemplating in silence what exactly the next course of action was going to be.

“Y/N, I…” He trailed off as you glared at your foot, trying to hold the tears in before one eventually slipped and fell down your cheek.

“Baby, no! Don’t cry!” He panicked about extending his hand, about to touch you but you flinched away and shook your head.

“Carlos, if you think I’ll just ignore what you said ten seconds ago then you’re very wrong.” You whispered, your voice thick and husky.

Guess you were the only one from you both expecting this relationship to last. A second later, you were clutching your bag in your hand and walking towards the exit, speaking up before Carlos could beg you once again to ‘sit and talk it out.’

“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice barely a whisper. “Thanks for letting me know that our time together was time wasted for you.”

You walked out with his heart in your pocket, your own splashed on the floor of your apartment.

Charles Leclerc

Charles was the love of your life, the very time you saw him smile at you from across the room igniting a spark in you that shaped your future together.

He walked over to you with a pretty girl hanging onto his arm, leaving the impression that they were more than friends. Everyone around you was also convinced at the time that they were dating but Charles bluntly flirting with proved just how different the real life scenario was.

Pippa was just his ‘best friend,’ someone who throws side eyes at you every time you and your boyfriend are in close proximity to her. Despite nearly a year together, her hostility persisted, the woman was a different kind of vicious. Hell bent on draining your energy.

It was physically exhausting being around her with her catty sarcastic tone that Charles always failed to notice. It was just another one of those days and Charles dismissed your concerns as usual, leaving you frustrated.

This time it was pissing you off greatly.

"Doesn't she realize we're together?" You rolled your eyes.

Charles remained silent and that drew your brows together.

“Charles, does she not think we’re serious?”

“I don't think so. She's always been oblivious to these things.”

And honestly? That fucking hurt. It hurt to know that Charles noticed this but was still rather quick to defend her every time.

"But we've been together almost a year?”

"Baby, she just never pays attention.” His arm pulled you closer to his chest. “Or maybe she doesn't want to see it."

"Do you think she has feelings for you?”

There it was, the truth out in the open. As much as it made you want to die to say it out loud and acknowledge it, your body felt lighter while the comforting arm around your waist began to feel heavier.

"I don't know. Maybe?” Charles’ chest heaved with a deep sigh, "It's complicated?"

The heart beating in your chest stopped for a long second because of how unconcerned your boyfriend seemed right now. Was he seriously just going to accept that a person he has shared so much history with wants to steal him from you?

“It’s not that simple, darling. she's been a friend for years.”

“Yeah, well, friends don't act like that. She’s just what? Waiting for the right moment to swoop in and steal you away from me?”

Charles did not like it because the arm was moved away from you in a second and he was sitting a bit straighter now. He looked furious and ready to defend his best friend and all that was running through your head was how he would probably not do the same for you in front of her.

"That's enough, Y/N. You're being paranoid."

"Paranoid? Or realistic? Face it, Charles, you're so blind when it comes to her. It makes me feel so small compared to her!"

Charles, frustrated and defensive, ran a hand through his hair and shot back,"Don't flatter yourself thinking Pippa gives a damn about you or me."

Lando Norris

No one could deny the magnetic pull Lando had on everyone around him. It was, after all, what drew you to him in the first place. You had your biases but he broke through them all with his shameless at worst and awkward at best flirting.

However, as you stood in a quiet corner to hide from the crowd, you couldn’t find it in yourself to sympathize with Lando. He had brought you to this glamorous social event, flashes of camera and expensive drinks overflowing all around you.

You were extremely excited to accompany your boyfriend especially since he had such an amazing season but throughout the evening, Lando was constantly pulled away by enthusiastic fans and demanding media, leaving you aside feeling like an accessory rather than his partner.

Standing in a quiet corner, you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as you watched other couples bask in each other's company. You didn’t even know where Lando was at this very second.

Then, suddenly, his arms enveloped you from behind, his lips pressing gently against your head. "I'm sorry, babe. Everyone here just wants a piece of me," he murmured, attempting to console you.

You sighed and tried to calm yourself so you wouldn't explode in front of everyone, "I understand, but I miss spending time with you."

"I promise, I'll make it up to you tonight." Lando winked, keeping the conversation light.

That was all he said before someone from your left approached him again and your safety haven spot under the stairs was crowded with journalists a second later. You rolled your eyes before walking away, with half a mind to grab a cab and leave.

It was on your way back home when your patience finally ran its course as you listened to your boyfriend go on and on about how much of a success the event was.

“Why did you even take me with you?” You interrupted, your tone tinged with hurt and watched as the smile on his face got replaced with a frown.

“What?”

“I mean… you barely clicked two pictures with me and then left me to fetch for myself? You didn’t even come stand with me for more than a minute?”

"Babe, I'm sorry, but this is part of the job."

"I get it, but it doesn't make it easier.” You felt your own body shudder because of how overwhelmed you felt. “You were there talking to everyone but me!”

Lando opened his mouth to say something but you weren’t done yet.

“They were all strangers to me and you didn’t even acknowledge this! I was standing there alone the whole time, watching others and wondering why my boyfriend wasn’t there for me!”

The weight of your words hung heavily in the air, and for a moment, there was silence. You stopped to take a breath and not start crying. Then, Lando spoke, his words struck like a knife to the heart.

“This isn’t… This isn’t about you. Why are you always making it about you?”

Your body froze after that and your mind went blank. You didn’t care that the tears were running out of your eyes or that apologies were falling from his mouth. His own eyes were welling up because he knew.

He knew what he said was unacceptable.

You were so zoned out that as soon as the car stopped, you got out of the car. Thankful to catch the glimpse of yellow among the traffic before you hailed a taxi, the distance between you and Lando growing with each passing moment.

He attempted to hold your arm, his own tears falling down his face. You just wanted to put your point across but with his reaction, you were certain you guys were done for.

“I guess I expected a little too much from you, Lando.”

With a heavy heart, you walked away, knowing that sometimes love wasn't enough to mend the fractures in a relationship.

©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

#★ : my work ! #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 #f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #f1 angst #f1 fluff #hurt/comfort

[laurentdirosetti]

"Support character" [part 2]

{Idia Shroud x gn/MC}

Tags: playing videogames together, competitive, bet, smut...

Idia’s room was just like you imagined it would be, an otaku’s room —books scattered on the floor, open boxes in every corner, merchandising from different animes and games, posters on the walls… Also, the air in the room is really heavy, why is it so hot in here? Is it because of the computer or- 

MC: ARE YOU ALRIGHT? 

His hair was bright red, redder than when we were in the storage room, and not only the color was hot red, but the temperature too. 

Idia: so-sorry, this is the first time a girl has entered my room (anyone other than Ortho or me for that matter).

That was the issue, haha… now I’m nervous too. I should do something to break the ice in this situation, or rather cooler the temperature. I think I recognised one of his figurines on that shelf… 

MC: Isn’t that Ruri-chan from “The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl”?

I was staring right at Ruri-chan when I asked him, so it was a surprise when I turned around to look at his face and saw his expression. For a few seconds the time stopped and he gave me a death stare. Why is he so scary all of a sudden? Did I mispronounce her name? Impossible, I’ve been watching that series since I came to this world, mostly because it was the only serotonin I could find after nearly dying over a kid’s tantrum. 

Idia: you know Ruri-chan?

Maybe because you were nearly as introverted as Idia or because you were nervous, the only answer you could find to his suddenly cold attitude was that this was the beginning of the typical “man interrogation over a common interest to prove your authenticity as a fan”. So before he could start making you questions about the show, you blow out all the lore of the series. 

Idia’s face was as rigid as a rock until you finished your monologue on Ruri-chan’s journey. You stopped talking to catch a breath when he grabbed you by the shoulders and suddenly snapped.

Idia:  ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE WAS ANOTHER OTAKU IN THE ACADEMY AND I DISCOVER IT NOW? Why did it take you so long to talk to me? How is it possible that I didn’t know about this before? I mean, I have control over all the technology and internet connection here. I should’ve been notified if a student was watching anime, how is it possible I didn’t know about you till now? What did you do? What kind of firewall did you use?

MC: I just watched it on Ramshackle’s TV…

Idia: ah… that explains everything, that TV probably doesn’t even have an HDMI port, let alone Internet… 

MC: Idia… my shoulders are starting to hurt.

He sure is strong, it's hard to tell by those baggy clothes he's always wearing. He instantly opened his hands to let me go as soon as he heard me. He looked troubled he might have hurted me. 

MC: don’t worry, I may not have “mana”, but my HP is full.

He couldn’t help but smile at my dumb -almost cringe- comparison. I think my “break the ice” mission was successful. Idia is very expressive, he snapped from nervous, to surprised, to confused, to happy in the the blink of an eye. I wish he stopped using that floating tablet of his to attend classes so I could see more of his expressions. 

As soon as he released me he went to pick something from his wardrobe, a pair of controls apparently. The controls in my world were less complex than this ones. Idia handed me one of them and I began to study the buttons. It would be a lie to tell I knew how to grab it, clown music is playing inside my head. I wanted to play videogames with him, but truth be told I don’t have money to fix Rammshackle’s sink let alone buy a videogame or a console. 

Idia saw my troubled grin and step towards me, shadowing my entire persona. 

Idia: Is there a problem? You don’t like the color or something? Is it the brand?

MC: well, you see, the thing is… 

This is gonna be so embarassing. First, I ran into problems trying to defend him against nothing, cause he wasn’t even hearing those jerks. Second, I made him hide with me in the storage room and now I have to tell him I wanted to play videogames with him but didn’t even think about the possibility of the controls being different from my world. Defeated, I lower my head to evade his soon to be inquisitive gaze. 

MC: …I don’t know how to use these controls, they are different from the ones in my world.

Silence was so loud I couldn’t take it anymore and looked up. He was trying so hard not to burst out laughing at me his cheeks were red and his jaw was so tense I could see his neck muscles contracting. Finally, he let out a little pfft and grabbed his mouth and chin with his hand, pressing his cheek with his index.

Idia: I’m sorry but, you went through all that trouble to play together and you don’t even know how? Cute.

Lucky for me I don’t have magical hair that turns red when I'm flustered, but I’m sure it’s not hard to guess just by looking at my face. 

Idia: don’t worry, guess I’ll have to teach you as I did with my little brother, come here.

He sat on a visible comfortable plush sofa, big enough for him to open his leg and ask me to sit between them. Funny, when we were in the storage room he was so nervous and now he openly asks me to sit on top of him, hasn’t he noticed?

Dumbfounded, I did as he requested and sat on the gap between his thighs, creating a space between us as a way to surpass the embarrassment. Unfazed, he glued his chest to my back and slipped his hands around my body. As if I was walking on thin ice, I slowly rested my arms on top of his. Then he moved his hands on top of mine on the controller, guiding my fingers on top of the buttons. My ears were bright red as I could feel his breathing chilling my neck, whispering a slow pace explanation on how to use the controller. His fingers moved mine slowly over the buttons, his hair fell as a cascade over my shoulders sliding between my legs. I don’t know what is happening and I would swear neither does he. He’s so focused on explaining the lore of the game and controls he hasn’t realized the hot mess he got cuddled beneath him.

Idia: Did you get that?

He asked, suddenly making me snap out of my cloud. Even though it was difficult, for many reasons, I caught a glimpse of his monologue while trying to survive my ocean of hormones. 

MC: Well… It seems quite complicated to be honest. Maybe I can understand it better once I play the game. 

Idia: Great, let’s play. I’ll connect the other controller so we can multi-play this. 

The controller was right next to us, already plunged, so he didn’t move an inch and his arm were still surrounding me. The soundtrack of the game started playing and far too late I realized he meant to play in this position, basically cuddling each other, with our arms tangled, his body temperature on me and his breathing on my neck. We haven’t even started, but I can tell I already lost. 

Unfortunately for him, after playing for nearly an hour, I tried my best to give him a hard time beating me. I lost all the matches anyway, but at least I could hear his groans all along, echoing in my ears. 

Idia: SO much for being a snob, you are tougher than you look. But rest assured, I would never let a newbie beat me at my favorite game. Ortho has tried many times and I should give him a pass -you know the whole “Idia let your little brother win once”- but as a weeb I have a reputation yk. 

That smirk on his face… he’s sure full of himself. I have almost grasped the dynamics of this game, maybe I could beat him. I’m a pretty competitive person and that arrogance only ignites something dark in me, something stupid. 

MC: I bet I can ruin that reputation of yours in our next round.

Idia: Are YOU implying YOU can win? LMFAO, if delulu was a sport you'd have a gold medal. If you beat me on this round I’ll be your chair or whatever -not that it’s even a possibility.

MC: Do you mean I can ask you anything if I win? It’s this one of those anime situations in which the winner can order the loser around the whole day? 

Idia: Yeah, that kind of shoujo stuff. Afraid?

MC: Mmn… Well, you’re already quite the comfortable chair.

That came out of nowhere, but I decided to keep my cool and rested my weight on his chest even more, looking up at his melted honey eyes now widening from sudden embarrassment. His peachy cheeks are so cute. Plan complete: this may be considered cheating but the only way to win is to distract him and by the discontrolled beating of his heart reverberating on my back I can tell it already worked. 

We began playing, in the game we were two characters fighting each other in a 2D horizontal landscape. I didn’t learn all the combos, but I mastered the parries and evasions, so it was nearly impossible for him to even scratch me. He was focused on attacking while I was determined on defending, a never ending match it seemed.  In real life it was the other way around, I continued non-stop “attacking” him while he tried his best to “defend” himself. Each time I evaded one of his attacks my butt moved against his lower body. From the corner of my eye I enjoyed his leg contraction at every “unintended” pound I gave him. After almost an hour of playing him, and the game, his breath was a mess, he was trembling all over and his dick was rock hard between my ass cheeks. My intention was to win the game, but I’m not quite disappointed with the actual development of the situation. I could take this as a win already.

Then I felt a thrust, his body rested on top of mine and I swear I can almost tell his longitude just by the pressure on my lower back. He snapped, his fingers were moving so fast on the buttons I had to make an effort to see them, he left me no chance to defend myself neither in the game or reality. As my character fell to the ground completely defeated, my head stumped on the floor as his hands pressed my shoulders to the ground.

Face to face, among the darkness of his room I could only differentiate two golden orbs and his face lightly illuminated by the gentle blue of his hair. 

Idia: I won.

My whole belly was on the palm of his hand as he slowly lifted my shirt all the way up, until he grabbed my neck under the clothes. 

MC: Wh-what are you doing?

Idia: I won, so the loser must do whatever the winner demands, right?

MC: Bu-but you haven’t say anything yet.

Idia: Oh, then I want the loser to fix my joystick. 

What? Oh…

As I stupidly tried to understand that I noticed his hard-on pressuring my lower belly, near to my intimacy. 

Idia: you see, a certain snob player broke it mid-play. Any idea on how to fix it?

He completely snapped, I almost can’t recognize him. Where is the shy boy I was messing with? The situation has escalated more than I would have imagined, but this doesn’t put me off in the slightest. Seeing Idia all hot and bothered surely is rare enough and I want to push that dominant side of him a bit more.

MC: maybe… It just needs some cleaning?

I questioned opening my mouth and letting out my tongue. His sigh was filled with excitement and anticipation, I could catch him bitting his lips for a moment.

He moved his knees to the sides of my head and lowered his zip and trousers. My eyes, now more used to the low illumination of the room, enjoyed the view of his thighs, pale as porcelain. He looks so fragile and slim, or that was my line of thinking until he uncovered his dick. Hard, veiny and leaking precum on top of my forehead; the length was the size of my face. This was going to hurt.

I accepted my destiny and kept my mouth open for him to enter mercilessly. But, that wasn’t the case. At a slow pace he started going down on my mouth, he filled my cavity with just the tip and almost the middle of his length. Then, he took my chin in his hand and caressed my cheek, pressing it on his dick and slowly massaging it from outside. I didn’t know what to do with my tongue so I tried to lick his dick and press it more against my cheek. His eyes glittered from a moment and he let out a soft chuckle. 

Idia: seems you’re really eager to clean it, babe. But this much won’t do I’m afraid, you need to get it all wet enough.

Instantly, he continued letting down his hips  until all his dick was in my mouth and throat. He was so deep in me my lower lip was touching his balls. Strange enough, this wasn’t as painful as I imagined it to be, I wonder how can my throat be twitching around him and I’m so calm? Maybe, his sweet expressions are keeping me from gagging. His mouth is a little open, from this angle I can only see his tongue moving above his pointy teeth. His eyes are locked in my throat, probably a bulge has formed, his fault after all. He’s been so long in this position I could possibly draw his dick by having it inside me. 

When I thought he would start moving, his balls twitched against my lip and his cum flooded my mouth non-stop. When he released everything in me he fastly got up, letting me catch a breath. He cumed so much there were lines of cum running down my cheeks to the ground. I coughed a little after drinking all.

When I sat on the floor and looked up I could feel his gaze contemplating my whole display, heavy breathing and a surprised expression.

MC: that was fast. 

Idia: I endured playing in hard mode, literally, a few minutes ago. Thank me I didn't finish by just seeing your ahegao face. Also …you didn’t need to drink that.

MC: I told you I would clean it. 

Idia: quite the awful job, It's all sticky and twitching, maybe you can clean it better down here…

To be continued...

Part 1

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland smut #twst smut #twst idia smut #twst idia shroud #twst idia #idia shroud smut #idia smut #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud #idia x reader #idia x mc #twisted wonderland idia smut

[the-badger-mole]

So, a few days ago, I was sent an ask about if Katara and Zuko would fight, and if so about what (or something along those lines). My answer was that they would fight, but probably not that often. I stand by that. I truly don't think they would have many fights during their relationship, but I was thinking about big fights about big feelings. Now that I think about it, they would probably bicker about petty stuff pretty often and then make up within a few days. So, here is a short, non-exhaustive list of what I think are

Things Katara and Zuko Would Bicker About

1. Food sharing: Katara is a plate thief. If Zuko had something on his plate that she wanted to try, she would reach over and just take a bit. Her culture is a family table culture, meaning everyone shares. She doesn't even think to ask. Zuko finds this incredibly irritating because in his culture taking food from someone else's plate is extremely rude. Eventually, Zuko lets it go, a just starts putting extra food on his plate, and Katara learns to ask first. Most of the time, anyway.

2. Bed Time: Katara is a night owl, and Zuko is an early riser. At first, they try to go to bed at roughly the same time, but it's a lost cause. Katara has a hard time falling asleep, and ends up getting out of bed after an hour or so. Fine. They accept this difference. But Katara isn't as soft on her feet as Zuko, and Zuko is an insanely light sleeper. At least twice a week, Zuko is woken by Katara jumping into bed at some unholy hour. He wakes up very early, and doesn't like his sleep disturbed. Katara really does try her best to be quiet, and very often succeeds, but occasionally, she steps on a shoe or trips over a chair, and wakes Zuko. This boils over into a fight every few months or so, depending on what big event Zuko has upcoming.

3. Departure Times: This is kind of a spillover from the bed time argument. Katara has a hard time sticking to a schedule, and Zuko is military trained on keeping time. Zuko insists on being out of the door at a precise time that he calculated specifically in order to arrive at the exact time of any given event. Katara will start getting ready to leave about an hour before they are supposed to leave, and inevitably make them late by anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour. It drives Zuko insane.

4. Date Night: This one is kind of cute from the outside, but it is a genuine point of contention between them who gets to plan and pay for their evenings out. Zuko thinks it's a ridiculous argument. They're married and share finances anyway. Katara thinks the principle is at stake and if she wants to use her own money to treat Zuko, she should be allowed without argument. Eventually, Zuko concedes on this, too, but it pushes him to plan most of their dates because he really does like spoiling Katara. Meanwhile, Katara has taken it upon herself to give Zuko the experience of being considered and cared for that he didn't get in his childhood.

5. Showers: Showers are one of Zuko's few indulgences. He likes to stay in the shower for a ridiculously long time, and on enough occasions to make it an issue, he has left Katara no hot water for her shower. Zuko points out that as a firebender, he could always heat more water, but Katara argues that it would take longer for him to heat the water than she intended to spend in the shower, and would it kill him to leave her ten minutes worth of hot water. Zuko genuinely does try, but he gets lost in thought sometimes and he forgets to keep track of how long he's been in there.

6. Hoarding: Katara has a tendency to hoard things she thinks will be useful- empty jars; loose buttons; mismatched china; scraps of fabric; dull scissors. It's a trauma response to the scarcity of her youth in the SWT and later to keeping her group of friends alive as they traveled. Zuko understands it, but Katara fills their living space with stuff she is never going to get around to using, and sometimes Zuko gets overwhelmed by the clutter. They compromise by assigning a specific cupboard for Katara's collection of odds and ends. When it gets too full, Zuko helps Katara go through all the things she's collected and they get rid of all but the things she swears she's going to find a use for. She doesn't, but neither of them mention that during their semi-annual culling of Katara's Junk Closet.

7. Zuko's Inflexibility: Zuko isn't good with deviating from the plan. Beyond his need to be to his destination exactly on time, he likes to plan out everything he's doing in a day. Obviously this affects Katara, and when something happens that forces Zuko to change his plan, even a little bit, he gets agitated. He doesn't blow up too often anymore, like he did as a kid, but he does have a tendency to be snippy and snarky. On a few occasions, Katara has had to call him out for being condescending. As the years go on, Zuko learns to go with the flow more, especially in his retirement years, but this remains a sore point for the duration of their relationship.

#atla #zutara #baby fights #little arguments #they wouldn't fight often #but OH! would they bicker #THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!

[hermit-searching]

TMNTposting Raphael edition (Part 1):

I have a confession to make. I've been lying to you all...my fave......is actually Raphael 😂

When I was growing up watching TMNT Donatello was always my favorite turtle, mostly because I was kin assigned the smart, purple turtle when we did those playground roleplay things elementary school kids did in the early 2000s. But during my journey rewatching TMNT 87, and 03 I've grown so SO attached to Raphael it's silly.

This guy. This dude. He's probably one of the most misunderstood characters in universe (and kind of in fanon as well) besides Leonardo. Raphael, no matter which animated iteration, gets himself into trouble because of his terrible impulse control (Woah me fr), which is linked to his "anger issues" which admittedly he does kind of have, but there's so much more to unpack there than just "oh he angy".

Well, except 87 Raphael but he's special and I'll get to him later.

03 Raph definitely has the most obvious actual blind rage. Fourth episode into the entire series he goes into a blind rage and tries attacking Mikey with a metal table leg when he loses a sparring match against his orange younger brother. Except...he kinda actually doesn't. Yeah he gets mad, for sure he got really mad, but something to note about it is he actually goes into a dissociative state before he attacks Mikey, he immediately apologizes when he's lucid again, and he runs off to cool his head which leads to him meeting Casey and teaching the same lessons Splinter has told him to Casey Jones. (Honestly the besties ever. good for them). And the reason Raph gets so angry? It's not just that Mikey beats him, Mikey eggs him on the entire time. Like I mentioned in my Mikey post, 03 Mikey is an instigator, he's constantly pushing all of his brothers buttons because he thinks it's funny. He does it on purpose so he knows what's coming for him, when his brothers (usually Raph) finally snap. That's not to say that Raph should have beaten his brother with a table leg at all, because he still spends his time learning his lesson through trying to reign in Casey, but his anger was a little more, in lack of better terms, justified than some of the other Raph-Mikey blowouts we've seen (cough12cough).

03 Raph is actually just such a polite, sweet little guy. He has a heart of gold, and tries so hard to protect him family, even until his last breath. He'll help blind old ladies, he gives old clothes and blankets to the homeless, heck his instinct when he's in his last moments in Same as It Never Was was to crawl over to Leo in an attempt to protect his big brother.

This guy's biggest fear is being the one behind the Shredder mask, and hurting his family. Literally, he fears himself, and his anger. He's so, so much more than the family hot-head.

I love this guy so much. It's great watching him develop as a character and cope with his anger without having to dig into the same lesson all the time of "oooh Raph you're angry. Anger is bad Raphael. That's a no no Raphael."

Which is what bothers me so much about 2012 Raph. They spend so much time making a joke about his anger issues it's baffling it was a choice the writers made. Oh to be a fly on the wall when they made all the questionable writing choices in 2012. Like, you'll have moments where Splinter will straight up tell his son "you remind me of my evil not-brother who was the reason my wife died lolololol", and you'll have other moments where they're like "oh aha he ran away and quit the team for the 27th time. Silly Raphael." and I genuinely do not understand why they treat him like this? 2012 Raph, fundamentally, is still the same as other Raphael's. He's got the anger issues, he uses sais, he wears red, but the way they present his anger is just. Weird. They'll have him punch or swat at his brothers just for existing, and not acknowledge it at all, visual gags or whatever. And then they'll also go "ooga booga he's so bad and his anger is bad", and then force him to learn the "anger bad" lesson for the nth time....only to wipe it from his character development again.

Once again, this kid has a heart of gold. He's the turtle equivalent of a Disney Princess. He took care of a pet turtle for, presumably years. He cared for Spike a lot! And...then they just rip that away from him to create a new villain who tries to eliminate his brothers because he used to vent to his pet (being the one way Splinter told him was "healthy" with dealing with his anger). Which? Okay way to punish him for trying to deal with his anger in a way that wasn't beating the snot out of something. (also what the actual fuck was that 180 they did having Slash go "I've always admired you Leonardo"???? HUH???)

But...then you have Chompy. Arguably the only thing they have ever given 2012 Raph without violently ripping it away for laughs, or to teach him some kind of lesson. He does give Chompy back to Tokka for a moment but she gives him back realizing they're both super attached to each other and stuff. Having the moment of Raph admitting he cares about Chompy was so perfect because it finally had a moment where he felt like Raphael.

other beautiful moments from 2012 Raph:

-literally just barn arc.

-"angry Donnie you're so silly and funny and- oh wait Donnie stop-"

-when he gets smacked with a brick by 87 Raphael (sorry I still play favs)

Ok back to more lighthearted Raphposting.

Rise Raph is actually such a fun take on the character. It's so interesting to see him being put into the role usually reserved for Leonardo, being the oldest and being the leader. At first he seems pretty well put together, and different than the other Raphael but. Nope! He still rushes into danger like a kid at a busy intersection during rush hour. The difference being, he learns to reign in his impulse control ever so slightly because he's brothers are all arguably more unhinged than he is. Especially Donnie and Mikey.

His temper in Rise seems to take somewhat of an inspiration from 03, having him dissociate into a rage, though the tone of it is vastly different than 03. Which, I think is fine because Rise always had a lighter tone than 03, and 12. The intention of it is a lot different than turning 12 Ralph's issues into a silly haha, and throughout the series we see how the pressure of being the oldest weighs upon the guy, changing the tone of his issues as the series progressed.

The season finale four parter was genuinely good for Raph's character arc all things considered. Him finally cracking under the pressure only to learn his family will be there for him the way he's always been there for him is beautiful. Him being the one who sees Splinter's memories with his mom? Amazing. And the messed up thing? He sees protecting his family as his duty and purpose despite being a kid himself. Kinda like 03 Raph.

The movie also finally gave us that Leo-Raph dynamic older TMNT fans have craved from the series, but the roles are still reversed. With Raph still being responsible and wanting Leo to take things seriously while Leo does whatever he wants and has ✨impulsive sparkle✨. Getting to see Raph finally let loose and be a normal teenager again, joining in on the silly fun by the end of the movie..Mwah. thank you.

This post is getting long so I'll go into 87 Raphael in his own post. I have way too much to say about him I'm sorry..

#theotxt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 03 #tmntposting #tmnt raphael #rottmnt raph #2012 raph #03 raph

[mugeesworld]

One Piece Fans Green & Red Flags!!

I seen someone do this on tiktok and thought I would do some of my takes😋 this is as a joke so don't take it to heart

Also these are HELLA specific so don't ask how I know I just do ok

Green

The one piece fans that are still in alabaster and instead of watching one piece they are scrolling on the tiktok # of it. +extra points if you're already doing fanart of them.

non binary luffy/chopper fans (quite silly people I enjoy your company. You probably have a saved collection of videos of cats with silly sounds. Don't lie to me ik you do)

Asexual Zoro and luffy fans

Platonic Nami and luffy shippers (ya know like brother sister dynamic)

Female plus size sanji fans (cough cough me. But I've seen all y'all out their. You freaky bitches)

Usopp fans (enough said)

People that love the usopp and Nami bestie duo.

Dadan fans (period)

People that make fanart of zoro and chopper being cute

People that draw robin with that one nose shape and also draw her like that one lady from criminal minds.

FROBIN SHIPPERS (RAHHHHH🔥🔥⁉️⁉️⁉️🗣️🗣️)

Trans men Franky fans (you started wearing button ups over t-shirts huh. Elite style and funny as hell)

Female Franky shippers (Bless y'all. Y'all my favs probably. Making the best edits I swear. Probably looking for a man's like Franky cause you kin robin)

LESBIAN NAMI FANS (PLEASE LOVE ME ALL Y'ALLS COSPLAYS BE EATING SO HARD BABES)

Nami x Vivi shippers (yeah😋)

Introverted female robin fans (hit my line)

Female buggy fans

Trans men zoro fans

FEMALE OR TRANS MASC WHITEBEARD STAN'S (very rare to come across. Y'all great but y'all need to heal your dad issues)

People that don't leave out Franky, jinbei, and brook in writing stuff

People that write for Franky in general.(he needs more love)

Marco simps (brave soliders right here. You really picked that mf? Yeah me you. IT'S ABOUT PERSONALITY OK???)

Sanji fans that actually find his training arc fun and not gross

Female Mihawk stans (naughty gal😼 you like them cold)

You know what?! Any trans masc one piece fan that picked a character and was like. Yep! He's literally me! Im literally him!

Jinbei fans (you guys are either sweethearts or middle school boys(the mean kind)

Brook fans that do fanart. (See cause y'all gonna eat every time)

Bon clay fans that actually like him and don't just make fun of him.

I forgot his name. Umm Coby? I think? Yeah Coby fans.

Rayleigh simps (insert sound *I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's! She really is hungry!* Me too girl me too.)

Same for garp ^

The people that been making the shanks love actions edits 😋

People that make corecore/hopecore edits of one piece

Ik I've said it a bunch but the drawing community that has been carrying the one piece fandom on tiktok. (Ty for blessing us)

Plus size one piece fans +points if you cosplay

That hot old lady that took chopper in and the hot old lady with Rayleigh fans. (Those two would be such good friends and serve some major cunt. Drawers! Get to it you know what to do.)

Red

Sanji and zoro fans that ARE CONSTANTLY BICKERING IN COMMENT SECTIONS ABOUT POWER LEVELS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH SHUT UP

People that feel the need to tell sanji fans about Fishman Island every chance they get as if other characters don't have their red flags. I said it.

That one person in every comment section with a luffy profile pics saying the most absolutely rude or embarrassing thing ever like "post the on IG reels" (you are immature and not in a good way like luffy)

Zoro fans that's also like Patrick Bateman for the wrong reason

"Yamato is a woman" ("we'll actually Oda said 🤓" EHHHHHHHH *family Feud buzzered noise.* GET OUT)

People that shit on the one piece live action cast. (specifically the ones complaining about nami and her sister. BOY I OTTA!)

People that talk shit about big mom just cause she fat. Like babes so is your mom....

People that still watch one piece and try to say how much they love it but are racist, homophobic, transphobic. When one of the biggest things for luffy is to not be judgemental. You are not him⁉️🗣️ you are a asssss

Akianu fans.

MOST black beard fans (I ain't forgiving no one for what he did to whitebeard I'm not hearing it)

"Zoro would kill the whole crew for luffy🤓" would you kill your whole friend group/family for your best friend/mom or dad..... I didn't think so.

People that hate on English dub watchers. I'm a slow reader y'all. Plus it's hella funny.

People that weren't at least a little mad about GARPS actions in marine ford.

Nami x luffy. Robin x Law. And robin x zoro shippers. Also Any gross illegal ones with gross age gaps.

Thats all I can think of right now!

#chubby #chubby y/n #chubby!reader #chubbyreader #one piece #one piece headcanons #sanji #robin #nami #zoro #ronoroa zoro #luffy #luffydmonkey #franky #Shanks #Mihawk #lgbt #Plus size #one piece fandom #brook #Rayleigh #whitebeard pirates #marco #Ace #Dadan #Mugeesworld #Red flags #Green flags #zoro x reader #luffy headcanons

[justjams2003]

Hey, so I came up with another spicey Steve Abnesti x male reader request😉 it's not a prequal or sequal to the other one. It's a complete new one.

The reader is the same cute 'n tiny one.Also this time kinda innocent. The story is kind of like this- Steve gives both reader and Jeff N-40 to have sex and be really intimate. The reader being cute, Jeff doesn't protest to ackonowledge leading upto steve being really aroused hearing reader's moans and lustful whimpers. So, later he haves his way with the reader. Size difference, age difference, oral sex(steve recieving), body worship(steve recieving) and lots of hot steamy sex🔥

Hello, thank you for writing your request. Sorry it took so long, (Medical issues, again). Also sorry if it is a bit short, I don’t have much of an excuse for it. I kinda feel like writing the body worship in a separate one-shot but that will be much later. Anyways, I do hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: Steve Abnesti x male!reader

Warnings: Public sex (Readerx Jeff); size difference, degrading, praising, cock sucking, age difference, innocence reader (tell me if I miss any)

Summary: Steve corrupts an innocent reader.

Word count: 1,6k

Unedited

Steve wants to try something new. I-16 work just fine with Jeff, Heather and the other volunteers. Though that is all fine and dandy, but Steve wants to see just how far this drug can go. How much it can affect a person.

He concluded to go easy on Jeff. Start off slow with someone a little more feminine than the other prisoners he has. The only boy there smaller than Jeff. Make him feel better about it. Seeing you, so unexpecting.

"Hey, Jeff, how you feeling?" Steve asks, bending down to press the button of the speaker. Jeff smiles looking up, "All right and you?" Of course, Jeff doesn't really care. He's just saying what he has to to keep his privileges.

"Working hard," Steve answers, giving his usual deceiving smile. Even if the curly-haired man can't see him. Then the door slowly opens and your curls pop into his view. SteHe can't help but let a smile spread. There is just something about those doe eyes that makes him warm in many places.

"Y/N, hello-" it takes everything in him not to call you by something like 'my dear' or 'little one.' "-ready for the day?" The cutest gleaming smile graces those pearly whites of yours. You nod, "Always am," you're so cute to him. Always so positive.

Steve pauses for a moment. Just to take in your smile. It's truly like nothing else for him. Mark gives a little scoff and Steve snaps him a vicious gaze. "Alright, Y/N, how would you rate Jeff here?" He already doesn't like asking you these questions.

Though, the thought of hearing those sweet noises keeps him going. He watches you swift lightly. Looking at the boy actually in front of you. "He's a very nice guy, he's given me extra snacks before. So a ten," you think back.

Steve shakes his head, so naive, though his cock twitches just thinking of breaking that innocence. "No, my dear Y/N, how attractive do you think he is?" He smirks, watching as your brows furrow in the cutest little frown.

"Attractive?" You repeat the question, takes a moment, and then answer. "He isn't really my type, um, 7." You smile at him, trying to ease your words. Steve can't help but wonder, what is your type? "Alright and you, Jeff?"

Jeff has answered this before, though that is with people that fits his sexuality. Not that you’re not attractive. There is just something about your presence that makes him feel you’re warm. You’re kind and in no other better word to describe it, cute.

“I’d say the same, 7,” Although what you two mean in type is variously different. You meant you like bigger, stronger men, with blue eyes and dashing blond hair. He meant well, women.  Steve immediately disagrees with Jeff’s rating. He’d say you’re so much more than a 10.

There isn’t much he can do about that, however. “Alright, Y/N, acknowledge for I-16?" He asks, starting with you. Almost instantly you nod. “Acknowledge,” you trust Steve, he’s always kind to you. Even if you rarely talk outside of this white box you’re currently in.

Jeff snaps his head up to the mirror. Knowing Steve is right behind that icy pane. It's not like it would be all that bad. He can try it at least once? It wouldn't hurt? You are quite attractive to him, not exactly his type, being a man and whatnot.

“Jeff?” The before-mentioned boy gulps then gives a nod, “Yeah, acknowledge.” It’s oh so very hard for Steve to hide his grin. “Excellent,” Steve mutters to himself. Showing to Mark to up the drug. A whir is heard by the both of you.

It takes a moment, but the blonde can see you squirming. He’s watched you on game nights or just hanging about. You’re shy about it. Entirely uncertain and unknowing about a lot of things. If there would to be an innuendo or joke made you most likely don’t understand it. Or he’d see you blush wildly.

Quickly though, you and Jeff are unable to keep your hands off each other. Dear God, the noises you make are so delightful to him. His pants grow tight and he’s dearly regretting his choice of pants. It’s wild to him, how someone so innocent and make such sinful noises and faces.

It’s exactly as how he dreamed it to be. Even better and now he plans on corrupting you himself. The thought of that tight asshole around his hard cock right now. The need to do it grows just as much as him. He watches every moment as close as possible.

Though once this session between them is over, he quickly plans for his next moves.

It wasn’t hard to get you in his room. You were practically jumping at the opportunity to be close to him. This morning with Jeff made you tired, though afterwards you were more annoyed than anything else. Why did it have to be Jeff? He’s nice but he doesn’t make you feel that same fuzzy feeling as Steve does.

“My dear,” you glow at the attention, enjoying the feeling of his nicknames. Not only that but his hand cups your jaw. His thumb tracing your soft jaw. Most boys he saw have these angular strong jaws.But there is just something of these soft round cheeks of his.

He coos at your reactions, pursing his lips together? “Why don’t I put some music on?” Your spirits fall flat, but just for a moment. Hope still lingers in your core, and elsewhere. You watch his broad shoulders as he saunters away. Your ears suddenly ring with the soft tunes of a gentle 80′s tune you don’t know.

When he reaches you again, his attitude is different. He seems to have a different look in his eyes. Much more demanding and lustful. It does things to you. He gently takes you by the shoulders and shoves you onto the bed. It isn’t very hard.

You’re short and not exactly as strong as him. “You’re so small, so fragile, how am I suppose to not fuck your face?” He questions, as if it’s the most basic of questions to be. A fiery red blush splatters over your slightly pale cheeks. “I, uh,” you struggle to finish your sentence. What can you say?

Though he quickly takes a sigh, “Tell me, do you enjoy your time here?” He asks, manipulation is thick in his voice. And in his facial expression. You nod, more than happy to be here. “Of course, I mean, I love it here,” more than ready to show your commitment.

“Oh, but you’re so young, so naive. How can I believe it?” He shrugs, to anyone else it would be easy to tell how manic he’s being. Not to you though, you’re misguided by the attention. “I do, I love it, I do!” You’re eager as ever, never wanting to disappoint him.

He tisks then makes as though he is thinking. “Prove it.” He states, his eyes glaring down at you with calumny and power. His cock grows even harder at the furrow in his brows. “How?” You ask, leaning forward just to get closer to his scent.

He sighs, as if he’s annoyed with your credulity, though it is quite the opposite. He enjoys it. He takes a moment, then reaches down, pulling down his zipper and pants. His massive cock slaps on his stomach and stands proud in front of you.

There must be something wrong with you, because your mouth starts salivating. Steve reaches his big hands down, and curls it into your hair, gripping it. “Open,” he explains, mimic how you should do. You follow suit and as soon as your mouth is open he takes your mouth into action.

You can taste the salty yet very lightly sweet taste of pre-cum in your mouth, not that you know what that is. “Follow you instincts, baby boy,” he encourages you with a light smile. More like a shit-eating grin than anything else. Without realising your tongue begins to swirl around his fat dick.

His grin grows much wider than before. “So good,” he mutters, enjoy watching as you mewl around. Though the speed is much to slow for his liking. He grips onto your hair once more and then shoves down all the way. He can feel you gagging and see the tears form on your eyes.

It is something special to see. The sight of such a little creature taking such a big cock. “Amazing little boy,” his eyes can’t leave yours for a second. Soon enough though your natural instinct takes over. Your head begins bobbing and swirling in a new way.

Now, Steve is unable to control himself. His head throws back and his grip tightens on your hair. Curses fall from his mouth as he enjoys your warm wet mouth. This continues on and before he knows it, his balls grow tighter. “That’s good, swallow baby, like a good little boy.”

It’s such an odd yet welcomed feeling. The cum flooding your mouth in a sticky, salty and sweet flavour. Curses fall from his lips and his grip grows as tight as ever. And when he’s done he pulls from your mouth with a loud pop. Spit and cum leak down your chin.

“Aw, it’s alright baby, I know it’s your first time with someone as big as me,” he coos taking your jaw in his hand again. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re a quick learner.”

#Steve Abnesti #steve abnesti x reader #steve abnesti smut #steve abnesti x male reader #spiderhead #Spiderhead Netflix #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth character

[shesthespinstersimmer]

Counsel for the defense (3)

Previous / Next / Beginning

VICTOR: I'm not here to judge, just to make an effort to save you from yourself. Word around town is, you're pivoting to run for my old job.

SUMNER: I won't confirm or deny that. But - if that were the case, what are the odds of you offering an endorcement?

VICTOR: Have you read the papers lately? As it stands right now, you're going to be hard-pressed to find that kind of support.

SUMNER: That so?

VICTOR: You're trying to lock up a woman for protecting her wife while she was being assaulted in their own home. Your trampling all over all the hot button issues.

SUMNER: That's what prosecutors do, Victor.

VICTOR: Well... politicians make alliances. It doesn't look like you have too many of those.

SUMNER: If we didn't know each other so long, I'd be worried this was a threat.

VICTOR: It's because I know you that I'm even here at all. As for threats, you're your own worst enemy right now, Sumner.

SUMNER: Perhaps. But I want out. Besides, Judith is hot when she's angry.

VICTOR: She's dangerous too. Playtime's over.

SUMNER: Then help me out, man. All I'm asking is for an in. Forget endorsement. Just point me in the direction of the right people .

VICTOR: I'll think about it. Let's get drinks later this week.

SUMNER: I appreciate it. One more thing... let's keep this between you and me for now; Jake doesn't need to know just yet.

#shesthespinstersimmer #storyteller #sims 4 story #weird & wonderful #sumner monahan #victor feng

[tealy-tiel]

I miss creating art and I’ve felt kind of stuck because the inner voice that discourages me isn’t my own but all those people I had a falling out with and I’ve been reluctant to even be on tumblr. It was really scary last time.

I used to be Soleil-De-Mari. Or Emerald-Entrails-Hunter and had a million doodles of Hunter and Caleb from the Owl House. I still love The Owl House and still have brainrot.

I made the mistake of sharing my problems too openly to the wrong people— I also made the mistake of befriending the wrong people for me. I ended up in some not so great dynamics. I also fell into group think. I take responsibility for my own toxic behavior and I am sorry.

Here’s my brief mental history and I will not discuss it any further going forward: I have a weak sense of boundaries and an all or nothing mentality coupled with isolation trauma/narcissistic abuse and chronic depression. I’m more apt to think what’s wrong with me before I consider it may be the environment. I tend to let too much slide until I can’t anymore and then I exit off the face of the earth dramatically.

I just wanna have a fun, peaceful time making art and viewing other people’s art on here. I’m not befriending anyone or participating in any hot button issues or drama. It’s like poison in my veins anytime I’ve had to do it and I’d like to see the best in people instead of their worst.

So, if you happen to stumble upon my blog, I mean no disrespect if I don’t comment or respond to you. I’m going to keep this professional and positive.

#personal #Also filtering finally works properly here #like holy heck my account before must have been busted

[xjustakay]

Hi :) in case you would like some airport distraction I am offering an extremely niche head cannon inquiry:

Do you think there a limit to the number of times firefighter James will let Reg play “is it a fire hazard?” and if so what is it?

Considerations:

Does James have unlimited patience (does he secretly like playing??) or does he have a go-to distraction/redirection method (kisses?) and what would be the tipping point to get him there? (I’m thinking there might be some sort of intersection between the annoyance and horniness spectrums)

Does Reg eventually get bored with his own game (see intersecting spectrums as outlined above) or does his desire to have the upper hand and make James break first win out?

Hope you have a safe flight!! <3

HELLO. had to get plane wifi actually so greetings from the sky rn lmao. thank you so much, you’re so sweet<33 

also i LOVE THIS QUESTION SM HAHA

a much longer answer than you probably ever wanted below. sorry in advance 😂

james actually thinks the little game of it all is funny most of the time, especially bc he loooves when regulus matches his energy that little bit and is playful about things lol, and he’s a sucker for all things that make regulus smile. plus, he’s like actually deeply proud of his job, mister hero complex himself. generally speaking he likes being able to be like “yeah this is my job and i LOVE it actually” he just gets real geeky about it sometimes in a way that’s easy to tease, he’s an excitable dude lmao. he’s absolutely out here distracting by kissing regulus and poking at the spots he knows are ticklish and giving little tugs at his hair to rile him up differently in return though (these fools are adults god help them lmao) there are days where he gets a little Over It, just because he’s overtired or because, no matter how much he does love his job, he still does want like a Full Stop break from thinking about it sometimes because it can be A Lot for him.

but when it comes to regulus, he’s veryyyy, very good at paying attention to body language and tone, then acting/responding accordingly based on those tells (comes from living with the sort of parents that he had and his relationship with them). so that said, he can often guess well enough WHEN it’s okay for him to be playing that game and have it not be an issue, or when he’s genuinely starting to push james’ buttons, etc. at the end of the day, it’s just for fun, like regulus is kind of doing it specifically because he’s never dated a firefighter before so like why not, yknow? lmao. he loves teasing james bc james either teases him right back in however way he sees fit or he literally proves him right and rattles off on a dorky little work tangent (which regulus finds deeply entertaining that this hot as hell, rizzed up man can still sometimes be such a nerd about specific things lmao). so it’s a win-win for regulus tbh bc either way he’s got james’ attention and maybe he’s making james laugh a little too which is something he knows he’s not always as good at as james is.

it’s not an all the time thing, either, which makes a difference. at a certain point, it’s more repetitive than either of them actually need and it just kind of fades into obscurity as a fond little memory of their early dating days that maybe comes up super randomly one day when one of them are abruptly like oh my god remember when? hahaha

thank you again, this was fun, i appreciate you MWAH<33

#i love them a completely normal amount #could definitely NOT talk about them for hours #(<- a liar) #thank you sm for this again you’re an angel!!<3 #fic: you got the antidote #answered #pom tag<3

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

If you’re still open for these can I request 20 for all the Black Bulls… or any member of your choice :d

Hiya Cyroo! ASFSAT all the Bulls! This shall be a mighty feat /lh :P And I shall place the majority of the answer under the cut (I hope I didn't forget anyone)

will contain manga spoilers!

Luck has also already been answered, so I shall include the link ^^

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter?

Luck

Magna

Similarly as with Luck, though I enjoyed the kind of "rivarly"/bickering/"you're a bastard but you're my bastard" vibe that the MagLuck duo has brought into the series, I'm not sure, if in the later episodes, they are anymore The Perfect Friends For Each Other(tm). Which is probably a hot take in this fandom, but ... I think that their friendship has changed over the course of the series. As in, they started with this destructive duo, who just constantly pushed each other's buttons, but now, I think, it's more about a kind of "rivalry" as well. I mean, as in the Luck reply I gave, when Magna wasn't admitted to go to Heart to train, he (Magna) was devastated. And Luck, he could see that Magna was really upset by it, but said something along the lines of "it's something he's gotta deal with by himself". Which wasn't meant as a "you're on your own" type of a statement, but rather that they both knew that there was something that Magna needed to do in order to grow stronger, and that something wasn't something that anyone else could do for Magna. As in, sure, someone could help Magna in that growth and development (and someone did; Zora), but from that I got the sense that Luck has been kinda driving Magna forward. Almost like... if we go via a metaphoric way, Luck would have climbed a tree, and was holding a cupcake, which Magna wanted, and now Magna is climbing the tree trunk with his sheer willpower. I'm not saying that Magna's friendship with Luck wouldn't be meaningful, I mean, they have a freaking combo spell! How rare and cool is that! But what I mean to say is that I'm not sure if the two are growing apart, and if they're The Ideal Besties For Each Other(tm) anymore. In terms of energy, I could see Asta and Magna connecting, but I doubt that canon itself will go to that direction. Personally, I see a lot of the same themes in Asta and Magna, Asta with his entire character arc from a boy with no magic, forging his way to be the hero, and Magna, the mage who does have mana, but seems to be falling behind (specifically Luck), but then created a Soul Chain, and defeated Dante. As a side note I really liked how Jack had Magna's back in that moment, and how Jack really went "this is that guy's victory! don't go ruining it!" But who then might be the ideal bestie, I'm not sure. I do, however, like the fact that Zora and Magna connected and we see bonding between other than the usual pairings in BC.

Asta

Well, Asta is the nice guy and the hero of BC. You cannot not like the guy (at least if you get past the constant yelling XD). And I think that when choosing The Ideal Bestie for him, the "issue" is that he gets along with everybody. He's always giving encouragement or advice, or just being the voice of "we can do this!", because he has to believe that they can actually do it. It's his main character aspect. "I have to believe that it's possible, because otherwise it definitely won't happen". Asta is someone who gives. So, perhaps it'd be right to ask who'd return the same to him. And while all of the Bulls do encourage and support Asta, which is returning his kindness and friendship, I wouldn't say that any of them match with him in the bestie sense. Or, actually, Lumiere. Lumiere has a lot of the same traits. He was trying to build friendships and devices others deemed impossible. They're both kind and compassionate people, and they want only the best for those around them. While Lumiere is more gentle and soft spoken, and has interests in magical technology, and Asta is someone who built his body in place of mana from the beginning, has little to no voice control and goes for straightforward thinking, I think it's also those differences that might make them closer. I have no strong opinions about this, but... I think Asta and Lumiere might get along well.

Charmy

Charmy is one of the difficult ones, because she seems mostly invested in what she's doing. As in, she does care about the BBs, but she seems to like doing her own thing a lot. She's very independent and her need for social acceptance seems to be relatively low. But... I think, for some reason, that Sol and her could get along. Sol would cheer Charmy on for her cookings, and I'm pretty sure that Sol would also be happy to eat whatever Charmy cooks. And Sol on the other hand might take Charmy out on "adventures", meaning that they'd just go on walks or see different places togetehr (Charmy would ofc find delicious noms too). But generally speaking I have no strong opinions on Charmy's Ideal Bestie.

Grey

I had to think about this for a while, because... Grey does deserve a bestie. Poor girl has been through enough and her anxiety doesn't help with it. And while I do enjoy the Greyche ship, I do think that she'd also benefit from having a friend friend as a bestie. Of course all of the Bulls like and appreciate her; would go the ends of the world to get her back because she's one of the Bulls, but... somehow I also think that Finesse might be a good friend to her. I think that Finesse would be the kind of a calm, gentle, encouraging person who could help Grey shine and build her to her full potential. And Finesse could hear about the stories that Grey would have to tell her, adventures on which Finesse can't participate due to her condition, but at least it'd be a breath of fresh air from the mundane life at the palace. I could see them quietly sipping tea and just talking. Experiencing a quiet afternoon together; two isolated souls. Grey due to the way her family treated her, and Finesse because of her illness. Yeah, I think they'd get along just fine.

Noelle

I do like a lot of the friendships Noelle, too, has in canon. And a lot of them are different, and serve a different purpose in her story, but if I had to choose one to be her bestie, I'd probably have to say Kahono. Yes, this might have something to do with me recently having seen a lot of Noelle&Kahono friendship takes on Tumbly, but I think they'd have so much fun together. They'd encourage each other, and would get to introduce each other to different aspects of their own lives, because they are from two very different places, after all.

Yami

I actually like a lot of the friendships Yami has in canon. Although they're very different from each other. I mean, Jack is the type to rile Yami up, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a time when the two of them bickering would have caused more repair work to the kingdom than the doings of any criminals/Diamond Kingdom agents/alike. And I bet they both still remind each other about those things every now and then. What the other one broke, and "at least I didn't destroy X". Yami and Jack get a kick out of it, and clearly enjoy the rumbunctious way of their friendship, but I also like the little bits and pieces of the friendship Yami had with Ryu to be shown. But Ryu seemed like the type of a friend to reel Yami in; ground him, calm him down. Ryu is the level headed friend that Yami needed in his youth, I think. With William, I like how they tease each other, but I would call them as "pals" maybe more than "friends". Out of these friendships, however, I'm liking the idea of Ryu's and Yami's friendship, which isn't without some lighter moments and friendly teasing. But I think that they'd actually compliment each other very well too. They both can be serious when need be, and they can have some light-hearted fun as well.

Nacht

Nacht, Nacht, Nacht... oh what to do with you? /lh I kinda wanna say "Yami", but I also want to say "William". If nothing else, these tree could bond over the... events in Spade XD. But seriously speaking, I think Yami is a lot of things that Nacht used to be during his punk era. Though since then Nacht has become more cynical, granted that for very understandable reasons. However, I think it'd take a long while for them to actually become friends-friends, let alone best friends. With William... Will is a lot softer person, but I think they both have isolating aspects to their lives as well. While William has been isolated due to his scar, and the curse of it (or the curse being the scar), Nacht's scars are less visible. They both also have themes of betraying those they hold dear, although more or less unintentionally. I say "more or less" because while Will enable an attempt of a genocide, I think William wanted to have no active part in it, and instead just let Patri take full control. And Nacht... well, we know the tragedy that is the fate of the House of Faust. Nacht might never forgive Patri for what he did, and might be very vocal about how he doesn't agree with the choices William made, but... Nacht also doesn't really have the moral high ground, because... he messed with devils. He honestly couldn't have been thinking for it to end well, if he was thinking about it at all, but instead went along with his curiosity. So, William went along with Patri, and Nacht went along with his curiosity. So, if not a full on best friend type of a relationship, I think that these two would at least have a very fruitful conversation, if you could sit them down with an open mind (or at least... as open as possible).

Gordon

For Gordon, I think that him and Henry could get along really well. They're both patient, caring, soft spoken people. And ... I mean, in the manga Gordon stayed behind during the Underwater Temple arc. It would've been a perfect time for them to connect. Granted that I'm... not sure if I remember if Henry's existence was revealed by then, or if Gordon would have known about Henry. Which are two very different things. But if Gordon did know, I could imagine Gordon wanting to stay behind to also keep company to Henry, because no one should be alone. I can also imagine Gordon making a transformer doll out of the BB base, just like Henry does on a large scale.

Henry

As said above, I think that Gordon and Henry would have the patience and understanding to form a very meaningful and deep friendship. Gordon would gladly listen to Henry talk about anything, even if it'd take a bit more time. And Henry would listen to Gordon, even if he'd speak in a very very hushed tone, and most would struggle to hear what he has to say. They'd both give each other space, and there'd be no judgements passed from either side onto the other. I don't think I have a better way of explaining it.

Vanessa

Honestly, ever since the friendship fic I wrote in 2022, I've been thinking about how Vanessa and Secre could really be besties. They have so much in common, both having been caged, Secre as Nero and Vanessa in a quite literal cage; both having been isolated from the world because of it, and both choosing to be free. Sure, Nessa would be the more flirtatious one and Secre the more "nerdy" type, but those are superficial qualities in comparison. Because they both have a kind of solemn outlook to life. They both can look at it, as if from the outside, at least if it's not directly about themselves, and give good advice to people. Secre's advice might be more straightforward and "logical", while Vanessa's would be more encouraging and based on emotion, I think. But they'd be working around their own strengths, and tell people things that they would have wanted to hear for themselves, while also being truthful about their opinions/advices.

Gauche

Ah, one of the (and I say this with the due affection) asshole of the BBs. Granted that a lot of his childhood, and having grown on the streets while trying to take care of his sister after their parents were murdered by some nobles, had an effect on his personality (and we talk about the manga Gauche). He wasn't perhaps the most sociable person to begin with, but having had the life he has, I'm not surprised that he's... rough around the edges. But also, his life story is very similar to Zora's, who was also betrayed by some nobles, and knights at that. And Zora has a lot of similar coping mechanisms. They're both a bit of assholes, but they also know how hard life can be. They might not be the types of friends to do all kinds of activities together, but I think that their friendship would be based on a lot of "quiet understanding", as well as maybe drinking a mug of ale and quietly (or not so quietly) judging some of the chaos that unfolds before them. They'd also, probably, give each other hard time at times, but I mean... what real friends wouldn't? Overall, I think that these two would have a great friendship. It might not be obvious at first, but when you look at them, and past the surface of things, I think that they are very similar and would understand each other very well.

Secre

Vanessa, for the reasons mentioned above. I think that these two would understand each other so well, and while they do have differences, their stories hold achingly similar themes and fates, in which both have made difficult choices. Secre had to watch her loved one essentially be encased in stone before her eyes, and Vanessa had to watch her mother try to kill her friends over and over again. While I think that Vanessa went through more from a personal view point, Lumiere was all that Secre had, too (and Secre saw basically a war between the humans and the elves unfold). So, for her, it was her one and only friend, the only one she could rely on and with whom she stayed as a bird for over 500 years, that was sealed away. And she was there, doing the sealing.

Zora

For the reasons listed above, I think that his bestie could really be Gauche. While Zora focused a lot of his energy on being snarky at and beating the knights in their own game, and Gauche didn't seem to have any real direction in where he was going, aside of just taking care of Marie, they have many similarities. They've both been stabbed in the back by the society in an awful, awful, awful manner, and I think that they could relate to each other. They're both alley cat shaped. And I think they'd be (at least nearly) unstoppable together.

#black clover #the black bulls #ask game #magna swing #black clover asta #black clover grey #noelle silva #charmy pappitson #yami sukehiro #nacht faust #gordon agrippa #henry legolant #vanessa enoteca #secre swallowtail #gauche adlai #zora ideale #lovely mutuals #phew! spent a while on this one ^^'

[rottingsick]

okay one thing I'll never understand is how is mental instability hot. genuinely, how tf do you get off to yanderes when the whole concept is literally a severely unstable person ready to ruin their own and yer life. "oh I just like posessiveness-" then say that. you don't want a yandere if you just like a teeny tiny amount of posessiveness. when you say you want a yandere, yer sayin you want someone who might attempt to cut you off from everyone you know and love. yer sayin you want someone who might go to drastic lengths such as physically harmin themselves or others just to get you to stay with them. yer askin for someone who might snap or cry at things you wouldnt even think would be a problem. yer sayin u want someone who might lash out at you or those you love if they aren't getting what they want. yer askin for someone who might try to control every aspect of you to fit what they want. and no, it doesn't just end in the bedroom, but yer actual entire life. yanderes don't simply stop being yanderes cause you aren't in the mood anymore.

yanderes are also people and very vastly from one to another. yer idea of what you want a yandere to be will almost never line up with the reality of a yandere partner, if yer greasy ass ever manages to get a yandere interested. you may sign up thinkin you may get a cutesy person who looses it over u bein w girls, but then actually end up with an explosive bitch who completely shuts down when yer with anyone, even family. you might want a cool, domineerin yandere whose sly and knows exactly how to push yer buttons, but in reality you get a crybaby who doesn't know how to handle their own issues and wants to commit die every five seconds anytime something goes wrong.

and truth be told, all the yanderes y'all want and fetishize are literally taken. they don't want you. you will almost never find a yandere actively lookin for a darlin that isn't gonna pick u up, use u, and toss u to the side or absolutely ruin yer life. every single post I've seen searchin for a darlin has been from the undesirable type of yandere (i.e. not perfect fiction) or from a yandere who will pick up and toss away their darlings on a whim if they no longer given them the high their seeking. the "decent" yanderes won't present themselves as yandere as a good trait when they're tryin to get with someone, and even then if they're a yandere, they're most likely still a nightmare.

additionally, the yandere troupe is just a demonization of mostly cluster b disorders and some others like dpd and psychosis. when yer fetishizin a yandere, yer actually just fetishizin actual mental illness. why don't you stop sayin you want a yandere partner and start sayin you wanna be the fp of someone with borderline personality disorder. oh wait, that sounds kind of gross and fetishy of a serious issue, doesn't it? yea. dumbass. thats exactly what yer doin when yer fetishizin yandere shit. ohhh bpd splits and meltdowns are sooo hot. oh my god I just love that person whose deep into psychosis and can't tell delusion from reality. omg I love it when my aspd partner can't form any meaninful connections cause they struggle with empathy so they try to unhealthy ways to keep the few things they do care about with little to no remorse. like. do y'all hear yerself. this is basically what yer sayin when you remove the cloak of the yandere troupe.

the only valid reason to want a yandere partner is if yer yandere yerself and are seekin for someone who can understand you and find comfort in them + unable to feel comfortable in a relationship where you aren't loved the same due to mental illness OR if you do actually just want yer complete life ruined by someone. you also don't get to blame a yandere for ruinin yer life if you went into the relationship wantin a yandere partner and you encouraged their insanities.

#bpd yandere #irl yandere #actual yandere #yancore #text #info #mine #this is a post that's been sitting in my drafts for probably a year or more now and I'm just going to post it #perhaps I should say what needs to be said

[matan4il]

Hi, Alice! I want to ask you about the way Buck and Connor's conversation on Buck's kitchen plays out. Some people in the fandom joke about how it feels kinda "heated," but I'm more concerned that Connor in that scene is... manipulative? You can say I'm just being not trusting, but I feel like I can recognize 2-3 things that sneaky people say when they to make people they talk to comply with what they want. I feel bad that I'm talking like this to someone with fertility issue, but I don't get a good vibe from this couple at all.

Thank you in advance!

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask!

Okay, so I addressed Connor, more or less, in these two asks so far. I haven’t addressed the idea that it’s a ‘heated’ exchange yet (meaning that there’s some sexual tension), but it is something that I was reflecting on because, as I wrote in my 405 meta, Buck did seem to me kind of flirty with Connor back then, in Peru. Unsuccessfully flirty, mind you. He tried his love for trivia to connect with Connor. Then a pretty girl passes by, the guy drops everything and follows her blatantly, while Buck sort of smiles knowingly and drops the trivia thing, though he continues talking to Connor. I found it to be one of the moments that reinforce the idea the show wants us to know Buck isn’t straight. He does sometimes fall for women (sexually and/or romantically), but he also shows interest in guys. Interestingly, Connor’s interest in the girl is supposed ‘coz she’s so hot, she’s irresistible. Buck, however, doesn’t even glance in her direction, adding even more innuendo to the scene. They’re not two guys looking at a pretty girl together. They’re one guy looking at her, and one guy looking at the other one. But as I mentioned, it’s so telling that Eddie's reaction to the same love language from Buck is completely different.

I know there’s a joke about how Buck and Connor def exchanged body fluids. I disagree, but not because Buck didn’t want to. And maybe on some level, Connor is aware of that. Buck wasn’t exactly the most subtle guy with his interest, right? I mentioned in those asks, I don’t think Connor shows a deep knowledge of who Buck is, but he has enough to know which buttons to push. Maybe that’s a reason why he started by bringing up body fluids, bringing to mind Buck’s old crush on him. What won’t we do for our old crushes? Add that to the way Connor stresses the bit about kindness. It’s something that both flatters the guy with the self-issues, but it also puts some pressure on Buck to prove how kind he is by helping Connor and his wife.

Is Connor being manipulative? Without a doubt, he’s coming on strong. For example, Buck asks him if he’s okay, and instead of taking this moment to talk, to re-connect, he starts talking again about his infertility and the sperm donation. It could be that he’s been so sincerely focused on this, that he has lost sight of all other things, that he doesn’t even register how much pressure he’s putting on Buck. Or it could be that he’s doing those things only semi-consciously, because he is that desperate to give his wife what she wants. He could also be intentionally manipulative. You know where the test for that is? Connor tells Buck it’s okay to say no. If he was just saying that as a measure of “reverse psychology,” giving someone enough space for them to feel like the “yes” is coming from them and they’re not being pressured into it when they subtly are, then the test is in the moment Buck says “no.” I do not for a second believe Buck will just donate his sperm and that would be the end of that, so we’re going to see Connor put to the test of whether he can actually accept a ‘no’ from Buck or not. And his reaction might play a part in how the whole thing is resolved. In other words, my guess is we’ll find out soon.

I hope I somewhat managed to answer? Have a great day, lovely! xoxox

(And here is my ask tag! xoxox)

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #connor #ask #anon ask #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[darkandstormydolls]

Another new costume: historical this time!

I’ve wanted to get into historical costuming for a long long time, it’s just taken a while to a. figure out the skills and knowledge needed and b. get all of the pieces done (because of course I had to pick a complicated dress from a complicated decade). I’ve technically been working on this outfit since last fall; I made the chemise and corset back in August or September of last year, I don’t exactly remember, for another costume. I know undergarments are pretty much the most important thing for historical costuming, but MY GOODNESS do they take a while. In addition to the ones mentioned above, I also made a bustle, a detachable ruffled overlay, and a petticoat (the bustle overlay is made out of Halloween fabrics with bats and skeletons and things because of the theory of “no one’s gonna see it, so why not make it wildly anachronistic and fun?”)

The dress itself has three parts: a base skirt with three layers of trim (which took and eternity and a half to pleat), and overskirts with all the floofy fabric (there are tapes inside to hold it into those puffs in the front) and the bodice. That one I don’t think took the longest, but it was definitely the most complicated; interlining, boning at the seams, handsewing of bias tape hems at the top and bottom, a million seams, and so much trim, and that’s not even counting the fact that I had to take it apart and resew it after the first attempt. The buttons down the from were supposed to be velvet to match the ribbons, but the velvet was too thick and didn’t fit in the button coverer, so I went with the same fabric as the dress, a plain black cotton (I got a 25 yard bolt of this and must have used around 15 on this dress between all the parts and all the pleated trim).

I did not make it all in a historical way; inner seams are almost all overlocked (I zigzagged around the edges of the bodice fabric and interlining rather than basting them together so that I didn’t have to finish those seams inside of the bodice) . After all, it’s historical costuming, not recreation. I’m not trying to be 100% accurate, I’m trying to make a cute dress.

I also made a chemisette and cuffs to fill in the neckline and to add some visual depth to an otherwise all black dress (I’m planning to make all my historical clothes at least close to my normal clothing style, so that I feel more comfortable in them). The collar ended up a bit bigger than I would have liked, and I think it looks a little puritanical, but oh well. It is what it is. I can always make a new one in the future if it’s still bothering me.

I made this dress to be 1873, right in the middle of the first bustle era (my favorite era of Victorian womenswear).

The hat was an endeavor. I think I cut the pattern wrong, so it ended up way too tall, so I just kind of folded the sides under and now it’s fine. I’m kind of regretting adding the flowers, but they’re hot glued in (the one time I used hot glue on this hat rather than sewing. Of course.) and I don’t really care enough to fuss around with trying to get them off. I guess I can also always wear it without a hat if it keeps bugging me. At least my hair turned out cute!

All in all, I love this costume. It’s cute, I think it’s flattering, it’s fairly comfy (and shockingly easy to move in; the skirts are a bit heavy, but not too much, the corset and boning don’t actually stop my from bending over if I have to, and the bustle folds up quite easily when I need to sit down). I think I could easily see myself wearing this for hours at an event. It’s a smidge long, but that’s not too much of a problem, and the petticoat pokes out a thing bit at the bottom, but that only serves to keep the skirt hem cleaner. The only real issue I came across with this was stairs, but even then, is was mostly only after I had taken off my shoes and the hem was a few inches too long.

I guess this dress is properly victorian goth, rather than just Victorian-inspired like most of my clothes

#costuming #dress history #historical costuming #fashion history #historical dress #victorian #victorian dress #victorian gothic

[pjisskullourful]

🆄🆂🅴 🅼🅴

🎵 Ethan × reader

part 2/? [series masterpost]

NSFW🚨  smuttastic scorching hot hankypanky . CW: this heroine has mental health issues& doesnt know what selfcare is, disordered eating& other very unhealthy spiralling

° Ethan Torchio/female reader insert

° two months after first meeting in a bar, your friends with benefits set-up moves into more serious territory & you find ethan coming into your life more

wordcount:::     12,722

° commissioned by my chaotic aries sister kat (@mistressofthecats-blog) 💋 a wonderful meeting of depraved minds for this first commission [commissions get priority, there are currently 3 fics in cue, secure your own spot in my priority list here]

🎧USE ME playlist🎧

° none of the lyrics included were written by me

baby I could write a long love letter, drivin' up to see the look on your face...

— TWO MONTHS LATER —

Some days your communications with Ethan were purely sexual, the two of you typing back-and-forth what you would be doing to each other if you were in the same country. You would drain your phone’s battery over-and-over, never at a loss for ideas of how you could explore that divine body.

Some days you would have lengthy conversations about everything but sex. You shared music recommendations, with him asking what you thought he should listen to as he waited at an airport. You confessed that his band’s music wasn’t typically to your tastes, but that Coraline was your favourite.

Since meeting him, your collection of cigarette lighters had grown exponentially. Some that he sent bore the name of the city he had been visiting at the time. Others had designs that he thought you would like. He introduced you to the world of electric lighters, rechargeable devices that did away with gas and flames. Instead the spark came from a high-voltage electrical current that you activated with the touch of a button - costing him more than you had ever spent on a lighter in your whole life. 

Then there were the lighters with keychain attachments, usually accompanied by a cheeky note of how this one would be easy for you to not lose. Every single lighter had ET etched into its body, not because he wanted to mark them as his property. He explained that it was his way of making sure you thought of him and all the cigarettes you had shared, his way of keeping you company even when he was far away.

You didn’t tell him that you didn’t really need a reminder. You didn’t need any outside influences to get to thinking about him because he was so constantly on your mind.

You were so far past breaking the rules of a casual bar pick-up. Now you were blurring the lines of what it meant to be friends with benefits. You knew this, but you didn’t want to stop it.

You didn’t want to take precautions for possible changes in the future. You just wanted to keep enjoying him, to keep laughing and to keep having mind-blowing sex during those brief windows when he was back in Italy.

… … … 

Some days it felt like a genuine struggle to keep to yourself that you adored him. You would want to burst and tell him how wonderful things were whenever he was around. You wanted to get lost in your hopeful thoughts and share them with him, throwing caution to the wind.

But you never did, which allowed you to have days where your setup unshakably felt like a friendship.

You up? His message came through around two o’clock in the morning.

But the answer was yes, as it typically was. His sleep schedule was in shambles. He was constantly struggling with jet lag, always getting back to the hotel after a gig very late at night or kept busy with other Måneskin-related responsibilities.

And you were always there, because abiding by any kind of bedtime wasn’t your strong suit. Especially now that you were unemployed, going to sleep at a ‘reasonable time’ never appealed to you, or made it to the top of your list of priorities - you would rather make characters in The Sims 4, disregarding the time as you did so.

But you put the game on pause as you answered his call. He sounded tired and you wondered how his body was coping with his relentless schedule. You asked him about the show they had just played, Lollapalooza, and you heard him perk up. You had discovered that he really loved playing festivals, he always had a lot of positive things to say about those gigs.

“I really liked your outfit.” You said, reviewing your screenshot of the pre-show mirror-selfie he had sent you. “I want that vest…”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool, huh?” He said of the pink, military-esque garment he had been wearing for the performance. “We had options of what could go under it, but nothing was perfect enough. And showing skin is kind of our thing, so it all came-”

“No, honey.” You gently interrupted. “You got this wrong, I’m not just saying this to be complimentary. I am not exaggerating, I want that vest, I wanna wear it, I wanna own it and keep it in my closet. I want that vest.”

He sighed dramatically and you could clearly picture him rolling his eyes. “You’re always trying to steal my damn clothes. Wouldn’t it be too big on you?”

“It’s a vest, I can make it work.” You said, twirling some hair around your finger. “Are you saying that I wouldn’t look good in that?”

“That is definitely not what I’m saying.”

“Are you saying that I don’t deserve designer clothing?” You challenged.

“Never, I would never say that.”

“Maybe it’s not about me wanting to wear your fabulous clothes. Maybe it’s about me stealing everything that you own, so that your only option is nudity- twenty-four seven.”

“Well, jeez, you didn’t keep a lid on that secret evil plan for long.”

“Yeah, that’s because I truly do want the vest for myself. And the metallic, distressed-looking crop top thingy from last month.”

“How about when I get home, I’ll lay everything out and you can come over and peruse through it all and take what you want, hm?”

You smiled, more pleased by the invitation to his home than by the idea of getting new, fancy clothes for your closet. “I’ll clear my schedule.”

You heard what could have been a lighter clicked to life, then a heavy exhale and you were imagining how he might look enjoying his cigarette right now. It made your fingers itch to have a smoke between them. It also made you feel an aching yearning in your gut, which wouldn’t be as easy to solve.

“What are your plans for the weekend, hm?” He asked. “Are you gonna go out and cause some trouble?”

“Probably not. We were thinking of going to the bar, but then I checked their Instagram and Ben isn’t working this weekend, it’s that other guy…”

“What other guy?”

“That new deejay they’ve started to bring in, Isaia or something. He sucks. The most bloated, never-ending remixes you’ve ever heard.” You said, pausing to light your cigarette. The old patio chair creaked as you sat down. “And then, this absolute dickhead decided to bring a prop to work and he’s there with a fuckin’ watergun.” He had started to laugh. “And if he doesn’t like your request, or you don’t pass the vibe check, or whatever, he sprays you with it.”

He quickly stopped his chuckling. “Hang on, hang on, hang- the deejay is squirting people from his booth? That sounds incredibly unsafe.”

“I know, that’s exactly what I said.” You exclaimed. “It’s an equipment-ruining disaster waiting to happen.”

“No, no, I mean it’s unsafe for him to try that kind of shit with you. You’d knock his teeth right out of his head.”

You smiled as you took a drag. “You know I would, hun.”

“When I get back, we’ll figure out a way to confiscate that from him.” He said.

“For the greater good.” You said, trying to match his serious tone.

“For the greater- yep, you’re exactly right.”

The two of you began to discuss various schemes of how to achieve this goal. It seemed painfully obvious to you that his fame should be weaponized - who would say no to the globetrotting rockstar’s request to have the toy gun as his own? He reasoned that this deejay may not be a fan, he wasn’t confident in his ability to leave the average person star struck.

His plan was to use you as a diversion, you could dazzle the deejay with some cleavage and flirting, leaving him unaware of Ethan grabbing the water gun. What if this deejay wasn’t into women? He assured you that there were plenty of other ways to distract someone.

But none of these sounded to you like the slam dunk you had been waiting for. Instead, he soon had you laughing as his ideas started to remind you more-and-more of the actions of a cartoon character. You heard him laughing a little as well, before somewhat composing himself to come at you with another ‘hear me out…’

You entertained every half-(or barely-) baked plan that he shared. You were amused by his brainstorming, enjoying this feeling of being in on the joke.

It gave you a sense of something you hadn’t had in your last relationship. It reminded you of what you saw on Nico and Gus’ good days, when they were adventuring, not arguing. When they finished each other’s jokes and slyly kept secrets for the pay-off of a surprise.

You were Ethan’s partner in crime.

“I miss your face.” He said, instead of adding another imaginary way to best Isaia the deejay. “You’re so pretty when you laugh.”

There was a small lump in the back of your throat. “I miss your face.”

“So, you aren’t getting into trouble? That doesn’t sound entirely true.” He teased.

“How dare you, I have the in-game hours to prove that I’ve been minding my own business, just playing The Sims.” You said. “It’s been a lot of mess, actually. My spellcaster sim has been trying to have a werewolf baby. Oh, and her house is haunted.”

“There’s werewolves in The Sims?”

“Yeah, where the Hell have you been?”

“Well, I’m in Chicago right now.” He said, deadpan.

You worked your way through more of the cigarettes in your pack as he let you go off on a tangent about your favourite video game. He hadn’t played since high school, meaning there were plenty of new features that you could tell him about. And he asked questions as you went, curious to find out how many generations it had taken for you to complete the unofficial ‘breed out the ugly’ challenge.

“If we had gone to the same one- do you think we would’ve been friends in high school?” He asked. “Comparing challenge notes about our sims, sneaking off to smoke cigarettes together?”

“I dunno. Aside from Nico, boys didn’t really talk to me in school. I was the weird athletic chick. No boys were interested in the chick with muscles who could easily beat them in a race.” You said.

You heard him barely stifle a yawn. “So you were intimidating, even back in high school?”

“Damn right I was.” You said, stubbing out the end of your cigarette. You hesitated from getting the next one from the packet.

“And do you think that you could beat me in a race?” He asked.

“I’d like to see you try to beat me, hun.”

His little laugh was distorted by a yawn he couldn’t contain. “Yeah, I bet you would.”

“Ethan?”

“Hm?”

“Sweetie, go to bed.” You said.

He groaned, or maybe it was a louder yawn. “But we’re talking.”

“But you need to make sure you’re getting enough rest.” You said. “And I gotta sleep anyways, I’ve got a doctors’ appointment in the morning.”

The groggy tone immediately left his voice. “Doctors’, are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, it’s all just routine. I need a repeat for my meds.”

Between the two of you, there hadn’t been any big conversations about your bipolar II. Because there didn’t need to be, so long as you kept taking your pills there weren’t any worrying behaviours for him to notice. You had referenced it in passing during one of your phone calls and he had let it breeze by, not letting it dominate the conversation.

You hadn’t noticed him treating you any differently since then. He wasn’t analysing you as other guys had subjected you to in the past. If he had any queries, he was investigating it on his own, instead of bombarding you with questions.

“Right, good, we should sleep.” He said. 

“I agree.” You said. “Talk soon…”

“G’night.”

“Make sure you put that vest aside for me.”

He yawned before responding in the parody of a downtrodden husband. “Yes dear.”

The silence rang in your ears once the call was disconnected. There wasn’t any street noise to distract you from just how alone you were. Your phone needed charging and your ashtray should be emptied.

A growl from your stomach gave you some motivation to move. Stepping back inside, you found that you couldn’t easily recall the last thing you had eaten today - had you eaten anything?

You went directly into the kitchen and found a pizza pocket in your freezer. You put it into the microwave, keying in the time before wandering out, headed for the bedroom now. You planned to plug your phone in, then collect the heated junk food.

But sitting down to attach your phone to the charger turned into you lying down. It wasn’t just your growing hunger that you hadn’t noticed, your level of exhaustion also didn’t dawn upon you until that moment.

And you were asleep within minutes, without hearing the brief trilling of the microwave.

… … …

“I can’t, Ethan is back in town this weekend.” You had said in response to Nico’s invitation to a game night he and Gus were hosting.

Nico had given you a strange look upon hearing this. “I thought the two of you weren’t gonna get into anything serious.”

“We aren’t.”

“But you’re blowing off me and a chance for Jackbox-bragging rights over the whole gang, for him.”

You hadn’t let this shake you. “But I can see you anytime I like. But blowing Ethan is a limited time deal.”

That had immediately shut Nico up.

Once you were reunited with Ethan in his home, it didn’t feel as easy to dismiss this whole thing as casual. Whenever you were with him, it all felt very serious and intense. The spark was enduring, just as strong each time and on the verge of providing the foundation for more.

You didn’t let him waste your time with any of the designer clothing you had been coveting. Even though he had gone to the trouble of hanging a lot of it out on a rolling rack. This shopping experience rated low on your list of thrills.

Instead, you were fixated on getting him to deliver on all of the sexual promises he had made over the phone. There were plenty of ideas that you had shared and were very keen to act upon.

It had started as simply as you expressing how much you enjoyed the sight of him in his cut-off tank top. You ran your fingers over the taut skin that he didn’t bother to cover. He commented on your fingernails being longer than before and you responded by letting them drag over his muscles.

Now you were in his bedroom, the two of you making up for lost time with actions, as opposed to words.

He was so desperate to rediscover your body that you didn’t get the chance to remove your shorts. Walking behind you, he had stripped down to his peach-coloured briefs. After crossing into the bedroom, you had enough time to remove your top. But hearing your zipper opened had triggered something in him, prompting him to do away with patience so that he could pounce on you.

He wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body to his as his hand slid into your underwear. A tremble rushed through you as his fingers moved onto your pussy. You were close enough to the bed that you could place one knee down, ready to brace yourself for when you truly started to melt at his touch.

He eased your labia majora apart so that he could get to your clitoris as he started to kiss along the side of your neck. You let your eyes flutter shut, taking in all of the delicious sensations that were already swelling up inside of you. He drew circles around the hood, taking you out of the regular world, and into the paradise that could only exist when you were together.

You arched your back, pushing your butt into him, which allowed you to feel the boner still contained in his briefs. He pressed harder on your clitoris, awakening deeper sensitivities as you felt yourself growing wetter inside of your underwear. The circles around your clit quickened and his other hand laid against the lace of your bra.

His lips moved up to your ear. “Nobody makes me needy like you do, nobody.”

You smiled, licking your lips. “You’re welcome.”

He went back to kissing your neck and you felt these kisses lingering. He was leaning into you more and he started to gently suck on your skin. You placed your other knee on his bed and he remained attached to you, determined to keep stroking your clitoral hood.

As you felt your body heating up, you pushed your shorts further down, letting them rest around your knees. You were sick of having clothes on.

You unclasped your bra and peeled it off of your chest, with him instantly taking advantage of this. When he started to pinch and roll your stiff nipple between his fingers, you could no longer hold back. You whimpered and rocked your ass back, along his dick.

You imagined how effortless it would be for him to get you into a different position, a position better for him. He could push you down and pin you to the mattress. He could yank your panties down, maybe ripping them a bit. Then with your butt in the air, he could pump into you.

But he wasn’t doing this - no matter how firmly you grinded back on him.

And you could feel your impatience growing, motivating you to a more direct call to action. You placed two fingers into your mouth, running your tongue all over them.

If he noticed what you were doing, it failed to capture his interest and he kept his mouth on your neck, with no interruptions to how his hands were working over two very sensitive spots.

You didn’t gain a reaction from him until your hand was sliding into the back of his briefs, your saliva-coated fingers seeking out his ass-crack. You heard him quickly inhale in response to this - maybe he could sense your plan.

You traced wet circles around his hole as he firmly sucked on your skin. He progressed to biting you when you eased the tip of your forefinger inside of him. His hole contracted around this small portion of your finger and you didn’t rush into any greater depth.

Nor did you need to - he stopped ravaging your neck with his lips and teeth, delivering a raspy whisper into your ear. It would have been easy to get distracted from the words he was saying as his dick twitched against your butt.

“What are you trying to do to me? I already told you how fuckin’ needy you’ve got me…” He said.

“Not needy enough.” You retorted.

He took his hands off of you and your hand slipped out of his underwear as he got to his feet. You quickly twisted yourself around, watching as he started to pull his underwear off. “Do you want more, is that what you’re saying?” You nodded, your eyes growing wide at the sight of his dick. “Is this what you were wanting- more, like this?”

“Yes, babe.”

Before you could reach out and wrap your eager hands around his cock, he was moving again. He opened the draw of his bedside table, looking through the contents. As he found and applied a condom, you finally took your denim shorts the whole way off. You immediately discarded your wet panties.

He leaned in close again and you parted your thighs, all too happy to make some room for him. He rested his forehead against yours as his hands roamed all over your body, seemingly unable to find exactly where he wanted to hold.

“You want more?” He asked as he grabbed underneath your thighs. He lifted your legs until your knees rested on either side of his hips and you interlocked your ankles at the small of his back, unwilling to let him go. “Like this?”

“Uh-huh.”

Once your legs were securely in place, he slid his hands under your butt and started to pick you up. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your heart racing as you were lifted into the air.

“Do you want it like this?” He asked, perfectly balanced as he held you up.

“Uh-huh.”

He took a few steps over, getting closer to the wall. “Is this what you meant when you said that you wanted more?”

“Uh-huh.”

He pushed you up against the wall, a position that made you absolutely giddy as you played with his hair. He licked his lips, his dark eyes studying you.

“You want more?” He asked, bracing himself with a hand above your head.

Your body was trapped, his chest flush to yours as he leaned in, kissing you. You shut your eyes and started to drag your nails over his scalp, his hair sliding between your fingers.

His other hand went down to guide his dick, the tip pressing between your labia majora. He eased it up, rubbing against your clit. Your hands flexed into fists around the strands of his hair, gripping tight as you sucked in an excited gasp. He moved his length along your wet slit as you pressed your hips to his.

You started to nibble on his bottom lip as he continued grinding against your cunt. You pushed the tip of your tongue up and into his mouth.

The tip of his dick worked you open, making you whine. You moved your hips forward, taking more of his length inside.

With a whimper, you broke the kiss and rested your head back against the wall, putting all of your effort into getting the rest of him inside.

His lips went back to your neck as he filled you up. His hips met yours, your walls fluttering around his shaft as your breathing grew shallower. You relaxed your hands in his hair, melting into this embrace that you felt you had been waiting so long for.

Your body was being marked as his again. From the deepest receptors that hadn’t been properly treated in his absence. To the surface of your skin, warmed by his body, developing hickeys at his hands. He held all of you, every part of your being at once, appreciating you on a level unknown to anyone before. This made it easy for you to hand over all control.

If you weren’t so filled with primal need, you may have questioned these low boundaries. Surely this was dangerous.

But there was no room for assessing the situation when you were being hit by waves of pleasure. Waves that only grew stronger as he started to roll his hips and it felt good to abandon all thoughts, to instead follow instincts.

“Do you want it like this?” He asked.

“Yes.” You swung yourself into motion, moving your hips so that you could meet each of his thrusts. “This is how I fuckin’ want it.”

“God.” He groaned as he started to increase his speed. “I love fucking you.”

For the moment, he was through with trying to cover every bit of your throat in hickeys, instead resting his face against your chest. This was followed by a readjustment as he tilted his pelvis, seeking out a different angle to jerk himself up and into you.

He pushed between your inner-walls, until he was delivered to your g-spot. You grabbed for his shoulders, your nails pressed against his skin as you arched your back. You grinded your body down on his as the tension overtook you. Your pussy gripped him as he stroked into that perfect spot again.

“Fuck yes…” You rasped.

Your body worked with his as the two of you found a thrilling new pace. Tirelessly, he guided his tip to your g-spot, making you feel that your release was imminent.

As you recklessly snapped your hips forward, you could already tell that you were going to squirt. This wasn’t going to be a subtle orgasm (the kind that was necessary when fucking a guy who lived with roommates). This was going to overpower all of you, you could feel it in the incredible pressure filling your body. Your knuckles had turned white as you kept your secure hold on his shoulders, your nails beginning to leave indents.

“Oh fuck…” Your jaw gaped open as you felt that rush of endorphins. “Oh, ah…”

You adopted a higher pitch as it happened - you conquered that peak and the pleasure exploded out of you. Your cum splashed upon his crotch as you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the release in a monumental way.

Your whole body quivered as you struggled to comprehend what lay on the other side of that unbelievable peak. You felt like you were lighter than before and there was a smile on your face.

You let your hands slide down from his shoulders, listening to him struggling to catch his breath. You dragged your nails down his back as you pulled yourself away from being daunted by your aftershocks.

You let yourself become energised, fed by the pleasure to seek more. You moved your tender body back into motion, rocking into him.

He drew in a sharp breath as he started to pump into you again. You couldn’t help but moan, every stroke from him threatened your composure, intense enough to drag you down.

As he pursued a consistent tempo, you opened your eyes to watch him. You applied pressure with your fingernails on his skin as one powerful thrust followed another, keeping you pinned to his wall.

There was a sheen of sweat across his forehead and his brow was furrowed in his effort to reach his release. His lips were parted  as he sucked in quick breaths. He had his eyes squeezed shut, which you decided bothered you as you started to push his hair back from his face.

You gathered the strands in your hands, wrapping them around your fists. “Look at me while you come…”

His eyes fluttered open. “If that’s what my good girl wants.”

You kept your hands in his hair, tensing your grip to keep him from slumping forward. His brows remained low and knotted, while the cords on his neck stood out as he gave you everything that he had. The sound of flesh slapping on flesh quickened and you tried your best to keep up with him.

Even as he plunged into you at a frenzied speed, leaving you feeling weak while he zealously and very actively chased after his orgasm. Your chest swelled as you felt the pressure building up inside of you. You were practically vibrating in excitement as his dark eyes stared you down, inviting you to go to that next level with him.

“Yes.” He burst out and you watched his eyes grow wide. The creases on his face smoothed out and his breath seemed to get stuck in his throat. “Oh fuck, yes.”

He placed his palm onto the wall, an attempt to brace himself as he jolted into you with what felt like all of his body weight. You were slammed against the wall, kept here as he refused to retract, he didn’t have any thrusts left in him.

As the spasms of your cunt took him over that edge, you watched the climax dawning on his face. So close to your own, you were able to see every reaction as it played over his features.

His eyes sparkled as his jaw dropped open, heavy breaths falling from his mouth. You saw him beginning to smile, lost in his bliss. As tingles continued to radiate through your body, you became enchanted by his current appearance. Looking at him as he was made your heart flutter - there were millions of people who followed him on social media and night-after-night there were sold-out shows of audiences that just wanted to admire him.

But only you got to see him like this. It felt special, something to be protected. Time did not exist as you stroked your fingers through his hair.

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you securely. He slid out of you and readjusted his stance. “I’m gonna put you down on the bed, okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You felt like you were floating, even after he had set you down on the mattress. You shut your eyes and stretched out, still wearing a smile. You were ready to curl up with him and fall asleep, even though the sun was still high in the sky.

But when you felt the mattress dipping under his weight, it wasn’t because he was lying down with you. You opened your eyes, looking over to where he was sitting, down by your feet.

“Do you even know how sexy you are?” He asked, making you blush. “‘Cause, holy fuck, you’re just so gorgeous. It makes me wanna…” You put a hand over your eyes as you felt your heartbeat picking up speed again. “Now I want more.” He put a hand on your knee, moving it away from the other. “I wanna…” He slowly dragged his fingers up the inside of your thigh. “I wanna taste your orgasm.”

You moved your hand down to your mouth as you looked at him, seeing how serious he was. There was a twinge in your cunt in response to the hungry look in his eyes. 

“Can I do that? ‘Cause obviously I never get to do it when we’re having phone sex.”

You nodded your head, watching him perk up a bit at that. You chewed on your thumbnail as he started to lower himself down, flicking his hair back and out of his way.

Just chewing on your nail wasn’t enough to keep you quiet once he started to lap at your wet, swollen slit. He caressed from bottom to top, his tongue flat against your cunt. This brought little, surprised gasps from you as he discovered just how sensitive you still were. You still felt like you were floating, and delighted giggles fell from your lips.

These developed into needy whines that came from deep in your throat when he sank his tongue inside of you. You squirmed, your hips raising as he started to massage at your inner-walls, all of his tongue experiencing this textured skin.

You rocked your hips into his face, not requiring much stimulation to get to your next climax. You whimpered as you were weakened by the surge of pleasure.

He leaned back from your crotch and you collapsed onto the mattress, gasping for air. You shut your eyes and let your whole body go limp. You noticed the way your pussy seemed to pulse - the rhythm was like the echo of your orgasm, slowly dying off.

Before this sensation could play itself out, the intensity was built back up to a dizzying height as he started to stroke your clit with his tongue. Immediately, you grabbed for the bedsheets as you sobbed. You gripped the material in your fists as he started to swirl his tongue around the hood of your clitoris.

“Holy fuh-... oh, motherfucker…” You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt yourself abruptly shoved up to that edge. Your body twisted and jerked uselessly as an overpowering pleasure consumed you, the sensitivities building up faster than you could fathom. “God, Ethan, oh my God, oh, oh…”

You snapped, crying out as you convulsed and disappeared into an Earth-shaking orgasm.

You were entirely ruined, remaining still as you prayed for him to not expect much of anything from you for a while. Coming back to reality was going to be a slow process. You were totally stunned, your mouth agape as you tried to fill your lungs.

“Are you okay, babe?” He asked.

In your mind, you identified the easiest, most coherent way to answer him - a thumbs up. But did you actually complete this gesture? You found yourself distracted by the dampness on your cheeks, you couldn’t recall shedding these tears. But your perceptions were completely scrambled in this moment of struggling to come out of the fog of over-stimulation.

You realised that you had caught your breath, noticing next the way his hands were gently moving over your body. You felt almost like you had been in a trance as you opened your eyes slowly. You were clueless over how much time had passed.

“Magnificent, you truly are.” He said in a soft voice. “Telling you that you’re a good girl doesn’t do you justice.”

His palm caressed over your shoulder as you looked over to where he was sitting beside your body. He had pulled his hair back into a low bun, appearing perfectly relaxed as his eyes thoroughly looked over every inch of your body. You were comfortable, despite feeling so exposed as it seemed like he was trying to commit all of your features to memory.

You rolled onto your side and gave his hand a kiss. “I think you don’t need to worry about not doing me justice, you’ve done enough for today, possibly even the next five days.”

“Five days?” He repeated. “Wow, I really wrecked you, hm?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course you did.” You said as he ran his fingers through your hair. “You always do. Have I kept it a secret how much I love the spectacular sex that we have? ‘Cause it really is spectacular. In fact…” You trailed off, holding your hand tucked under your chin in preparation of covering your face. “You probably don’t want to know.”

“Try me.”

“Okay, so I was diagnosed bipolar pretty much as soon as I finished school. And there’s a lot of medications out there and different dosages and all that. It’s been a lot of trial and error with me, and it’s- well, that’s not the point.” You said as he silently listened, his eyes appearing warmer and he wasn’t looking away. “The point is- sometimes the meds have shitty side effects. And I’ve been on these meds for about a year and in all that time, I wasn’t squirting. I just thought I couldn’t anymore. Because it didn’t matter what the guy did, or how many toys I used, or how much I tried to relax.

“I genuinely thought I had lost the ability to do it and I would have to change my meds to get it back. But then I met you…” You could see how he had puffed his chest out a little, appropriately proud of himself and barely trying to hide it. “And now I’m Mount Splashmore.”

“I had no idea.” He said, unable to take the smile off of his face.

“Well I thought that I had been giving you enough praise, but apparently not.” You said sarcastically.

He swooped down to peck you on the cheek, before linking his fingers with yours, preventing you from hiding your face. “Thank you for telling me, that’s really special.” He nuzzled his nose against your skin and you could feel butterflies in your stomach. “I don’t have anything that’s comparable, but it’s always spectacular for me, too. And that’s only because of you, I’ve never had sex as fantastic as what I do with you.”

“Really?”

“Truly.” He said and you turned your face towards him to see his expression.

There was something in the way that he was looking at you - it made you want to melt because he was admiring you how one would admire a beautiful work of art. It made you want to stay in this bed with him. It made you want to say more things to him. But you weren’t sure that your words would land correctly.

It was much easier to kiss him, closing the physical gap between the two of you and he kissed you back. You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him closer as your tongue moved into his mouth. You could stay like this for hours, just enjoying his taste and how wonderful his body felt on yours.

When he gently pulled away you could see him still wearing that smile. He remained close and you thought he was going to kiss you again, instead he pressed the tips of your noses together. “I’m gonna get you some water, do you need anything else?”

“Could you bring my handbag up? This is a need-a-smoke kind of moment.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” He said, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before he got up and left the room.

The whole room was filled with the scent of sex - it was primal, superior to anything artificial, with those undertones of sweat that would make it impossible to wash off with anything but a thorough shower.

You had helped yourself to one of his T-shirts (you knew how his closet was ordered by now) before going onto the patio that was attached to the master bedroom. You sat down on the suspended seat, shutting your eyes and taking in a deep breath as the gentle swing of the chair soothed you.

He emerged with only a fresh pair of underwear on. He had the strap of your bag slung over his shoulder as he carried a glass of water in each hand. He sat down with you.

“Which one have you got there?” He asked after watching you pick your lighter out of your bag.

You lit the end of your cigarette before showing the lighter’s painted on design. “Istanbul.”

“Oh okay.” He accepted the lighter, which had an ET scratched into it already. He sparked the flame, touching it to his cigarette. “And you said you’ve never been to Turkey?”

“That’s correct.”

“Alright, let me tell you about Turkey…” He said, placing his arm around your shoulders.

… … …

Some days you were responding to Ethan’s messages within seconds of receiving them. You were never at a loss for words and you got a rush from waiting to see what he would say back to your escalations. You could make him laugh, you could turn anything into a sexual innuendo - it was always exciting, taking you out of whatever moment you were in.

Necklace, you responded to a photo he had sent. It was a day off for the band and he was sight-seeing with Victoria. Your focus had been pulled away from the fact that the friends were wearing matching sunglasses, instead fixated on the way his hand was resting on his chest.

Huh, are you saying that I should be wearing one? I thought about putting a choker on before we left the hotel. But then didn’t… He typed back.

You smiled as you started to type your explanation, thrilled by how oblivious he was. No sweetheart, I’m saying your fingers should be the next necklace I wear. You tried to imagine how he would react to reading this. Don’t you think those fingers wrapped around my neck would be the perfect necklace for me?

Oh! I didn’t realise that’s what you were getting at, he responded after a minute of you watching the ellipses dance as he typed. Yes. I think it’s a necklace ideal for a good girl.

Other days there were distractions that delayed you from responding straight away. A few Snapchats would be lined up, awaiting your attention once you got through with chatting with Nico. Or finished working out. Or completed a job application.

You were already on Instagram when the notification from Tatianna popped up, surprising you. You hadn’t thought about your old friend much after that night of bumping into her months ago.

Hey skank, when can we do dinner?

… … …

Some days you could forget that you had depression. It didn’t slow you down or inhibit you in any way. You could have a day full of productivity and accomplishments, there was no reason to tell anyone that you were fine, because your actions clearly spoke for you.

Other days it felt like this was the only aspect of your personality. You had depression and this ruled your life, the only thing you could notice.

It was a weight, one that you weren’t strong enough to manage. All that you could do was lie in bed, void of anything but that anchor of sadness. Inexplicable sadness that demanded enough tears to make your eyes sting.

You stayed in bed, waiting for this feeling to stop. Any attempts from you to manually pull yourself out of this funk felt like a gargantuan effort - that invisible weight made everything feel so difficult. And when you didn’t get the results you wanted, it felt like it was all for naught, just another reason to feel like a failure and hate yourself.

Nothing was easy right now, but at least if you stayed in bed you could minimise the difficulties. Surrendering had a certain appeal. It was truly effortless to let your body crash, just as your brain was.

The only things that you deemed worthy of getting out of bed for were going to the bathroom or occasionally getting a glass of water. Aside from smoking, you weren’t maintaining your regular habits - not bothering to have a shower, brush your teeth and eating was something that would surely take too much effort.

You were forced to get out of bed when a courier rang your intercom. You felt a pounding headache at the front of your skull as you opened the door. They handed over a small box, the size was very familiar to you by now. You locked the door again, looking at the Japanese characters in the postage stamp.

You placed it on the coffee table, but stopped yourself from opening the gift from Ethan. You weren’t in the right headspace to properly appreciate it, therefore it would make his sweet gesture go somewhat to waste. You would come back to the new lighter when you were feeling better, when you weren’t feeling so terribly uninspired. You would message him when you could think up something cute, or worth his while to say.

There was one message that you did bother to send before receding back into this state of defeat - you cancelled your dinner plans with Tatianna. You were certain that you looked more like a zombie, than you looked like yourself right now. And you weren’t going to burden your old friend with that worry.

You sent the message, then returned your head to the pillow. Before you knew it, you were crying again.

… … …

You weren’t aware of how many days were passing - every morning you hoped to wake up in a different headspace. But every time, you woke up and everything felt wrong. Sometimes you wouldn’t realise the magnitude, and made it out of the bedroom, starting to make a cup of coffee. But sooner or later, it would hit you and you would drag yourself back to bed.

You had successfully evaded Tatianna’s attempt at getting you to socialise.

Getting Nico to leave you alone had been easy as well, thanks to a tactic you had been using since high school. You told him you weren’t feeling well because you were on your period. This didn’t invite any challenges, you imagined him squirming as he read this. He didn’t have any sisters and it seemed all of his knowledge on menstrual cycles had come from 1976’s Carrie. It was always traumatic, guaranteed to make him cringe, as anything to do with vaginas typically did.

You didn’t know how to throw Ethan off - probably because you truly didn’t want to. You wanted to be the fun girl he had met and given so much time to, rather than the current version of yourself.

You told yourself that you would message him properly when you felt better.

But that moment never came. For now, you were dodging his ‘you up’ messages, lying to him the next morning and apologising, blaming your lack of response on you going to sleep early because you ‘weren’t feeling well’. He wanted to know what kind of unwell you were, but these messages went unanswered.

He pried a more substantial response from you after a couple of days of messaging in regards to your new lighter. He was apologetic over bothering you while you were ill, but he explained that he was anxious to find out whether or not the gift had been damaged in transit.

You didn’t understand where this worry was coming from, until you opened the box. This cigarette lighter was decorated with the intricate, gold design of a dragon, both of its eyes were made of a different material that protruded out of the smooth plastic. Were these gems that he had envisioned getting dislodged during the package’s journey from Tokyo to Rome?

You spun the wheel mechanism to check there was nothing wrong with the device. Not only did this ignite the small flame, it also made the beads of the dragon’s eyes glow red. They went dark when you took the pressure off the trigger. You played around with this for a minute, picking your phone up with your other hand.

Okay, this is officially the coolest lighter you’ve sent, you told him, adding a couple of dragon emojis. But that didn’t feel like enough.

You placed a cigarette between your lips and opened Snapchat. A filter could hide how colourless your skin appeared. You found an angle that cut your eyes out of the frame (he didn’t need to see how puffy they currently were), while still keeping the focus on your cigarette, and the lighter as you lifted it up.

You filmed yourself lighting up, positioning the lighter so that the glowing dragon eyes could be seen. You took one drag and exhaled directly at the camera, taking your thumb off of the record button.

Your stomach twisted as the app played the video back to you, a taunting loop. You could see the cracks in your chapped lips and your cheeks looked so hollow. The weight you hadn’t purposefully shed was obvious.

But you sent the video to him anyway. You wanted to give him that demonstration of the lighter, to give him more than just some superficial words. Because you didn’t know when you would next be able to give him this level of effort.

I’m so happy that you like it! He sent back and you tried to picture his smile. But you were interrupted by the notification that he was typing again, quickly followed by a new message.

Take care of yourself, punctuated by a red love heart.

You hung your head, forgetting to smoke the rest of your cigarette as the shame rose up, like bile crawling up the back of your throat.

He could see it, he could see your disorder.

Now that he had the context for your bipolar he wouldn’t think you were sexy anymore. You would no longer be worth fucking - this had happened to you with men before, men who you had liked far less than you liked Ethan.

Guys didn’t want to date this disorder. You grit your teeth, knocking the heel of your palm against your forehead as you scolded yourself for repeating a mistake of the past.

Why hadn’t you just stayed in bed?

… … …

You were perplexed to find Nico standing at your front door the next day. You weren’t sure how to act, it felt as if you had missed a cue and now you would be scrambling to catch up.

You only felt more confused when he provided an explanation for his unannounced appearance in your apartment. “Ethan sent me.”

You felt like you had walked into a wall. You narrowed your eyes, ready to call him out on this tactless attempt at humour. “Ethan doesn’t have your number.”

“That’s right, he didn’t. But he found my Instagram through yours and he reached out ‘cause he’s really, really, really worried about you.” Nico said, taking his sunglasses off so he could stare you down. “And girl, I can see why.”

“Shut up, I’m-”

“You are not about to tell me that you’re fine, not when you look the way that you do.”

You clenched your jaw. “Oh great, insult the way I look. Please, go right ahead. That’s really gonna help improve my mood.” You wanted to crawl out of your own skin. “You’ve seen me looking worse.”

“No, I’m not sure I have. Not this bad, not for… years… What’s going on?”

You were acutely aware of how many days you had spent wearing this same shirt, unable to stop noticing all of the smells it had picked up in that time. You were humiliated and struggling to conceal it as you stood before him.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. This is just me, you know that. Every year I hit my rock bottom and I have to hang out with the rocks for a while. But I-”

“They’re burying you.” He said, hijacking your metaphor. “You look like a fucking corpse.”

You were further humiliated by the feeling of tears brimming in your eyes. You looked down, blinking rapidly as they persisted. “Well I feel like one.”

“Oh, darling.” He said, rushing at you and embracing you before you could resist.

You clung to him, wetting the shoulder of his shirt as you let yourself cry. You cried because you were afraid of time - how much of it had passed and how much more would you spend before getting your head above water again?

“I’m here now.” He said, his voice far more soothing than you were used to hearing. “And do you know what I brought with me?” He started to open his messenger-style bag. “I got your favourite flavour of Gatorade.” He handed you two bottles of the deep blue, grape flavoured beverage. “And Nutella.”

You scoffed at the jar of hazelnut spread. “Are we sixteen-years-old again?” These had been constant purchases once the two of you were old enough to get jobs and earn your own money.

“I am.” He said. “Ooh, I know I am because I can feel my skin tightening again.” He pressed his fingers to the sides of his face. “And my asshole too, ho’yeah.” He made an exaggerated moan of delight, which surprised a couple of chuckles out of you.

He didn’t let you go back to bed, but he didn’t push you too far either. He was keeping with the theme of teenage-nostalgia by insisting the two of you catch up on American Horror Story. It didn’t feel like it was taking too much energy to sit on the couch, watching what had come out since the apocalypse season. You half-heartedly joined him in eating the Nutella off of your fingers, letting him take the lead. It didn’t taste as good as you remembered.

Probably because this whole exercise was a practice in distracting yourself, rather than engaging with the issues.

That cry hadn’t provided you with any significant relief. And now you felt like you weren’t doing a very convincing job of acting normally. The words that you spoke sounded stilted, hitting your ear in an odd way.

Your thoughts were going back to Ethan - did he really get in touch with Nico? The idea of that seemed too unreal to believe.

It felt as unreal as the brief breaks from your sadness that these distractions provided.

“I miss Sara.” Nico commented.

“Yeah.” You were unable to summon the energy for a proper rant as you would typically get into without much prompting. Potentially, that’s what he was looking for, those passionate outbursts on your topics of interest. But you simply didn’t have it in you. “But she’s back next season, right?”

“Right.” He said, raising the TV remote. “Next episode?”

“‘Kay.”

… … …

You heard your intercom buzzing as you took your first steps out of the shower that Nico demanded you have. You assumed he had ordered some food - this would be necessary if he got hungry for something other than Nutella and stale potato chips. As you wrapped your towel around you, you realised you couldn’t think of a single thing that you wanted to eat. It didn’t matter what was being delivered, you couldn’t feel any cravings.

You sat down on the bed and were struck by how heavy your body felt. You immediately decided that you didn’t have the energy to move further than your mattress - you had officially done enough for today.

You heard a knocking on the door, but you mentally checked out. You were sinking back into that feeling of numbness. You shut your eyes and reclined further back.

“Hey creep…”

Your eyes snapped open, immediately stinging from the brightness of the light. You lifted your head, finding Ethan standing in the doorway. You opened your mouth, but no words came out, you were too stunned, too out of your depth.

Then you saw the look on his face and it broke you. He had never looked at you like this before, appearing as if he was in pain to be seeing you in this half-alive state. It took some of his strength as he slowly approached the bed.

You had no idea how to behave - all of your coping mechanisms had been taken from you. What was he expecting from you? You felt like you had nothing to offer to him at this moment, nothing that he would want.

“I’m leaving.” Nico said, briefly appearing to blow you a kiss. “Love ya, mean it.”

You raised your hand in a wave, as did Ethan. Then he came over to sit down on the end of your bed.

“I thought you were in Japan ‘til next week.” You said, you had been keeping that date in mind and mentally willing yourself to be better by then.

“I came home early.” He said simply, as if he hadn’t just spent over ten hours on a plane. “All of the gigs there were done. The rest of the visit was just promo and shit…” You raised both hands up to cover your face, needing to hide the beginnings of your tears from him. “The others were fine with me sitting this round out, and I… I had to come see you, babe.”

“You cancelled your work for me?” You asked, your voice cracking.

“Yes.” He put one warm hand on your bare shoulder. “I wasn’t going to leave you on your own when you’re clearly going through something.” He moved in closer. “I absolutely couldn’t stand the thought of you being all alone, you should never be alone.”

You couldn’t hide the shaking of your shoulders as you started to cry. He had blown off days of his glamorous, exciting rockstar life to come and watch you be pathetic. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, he had bought you a couple of cocktails and now you were his burden. But there was no chance of convincing him, or yourself, that you didn’t need his help.

He tugged your body into his arms, bundling you up and holding you in a warm cocoon of security. “You’re gonna be alright…” His hand rubbed your back. “Take deep breaths.”

“I’m so sorry.” You said through these seemingly-never ending tears. “Usually I can handle my own shit, but- it just won’t stop and I can’t- I don’t know-” You felt light-headed and it was daunting to try to find the words to explain something so grand, yet so internal. “Nothing happened, my brain just won’t- I don’t wanna be sad anymore, I don’t wan’-” He held your face in his hands, letting you huff and work through this train of thought. “I can’t…”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” You let your head hang - your body was tired, but that voice of guilt inside your mind wasn’t.

“That’s fair. It’s pretty shitty right now, but we’re gonna find a way to make it better. We’re gonna get you better.” He said and, thanks to the resolve that you heard in his voice, you were tempted to believe him.

“I’m so sorry.” You said, through the many tears that were still demanding to be shed.

“You have nothing to apologise for, honey.” He said, his thumbs wiping through the wetness on your cheeks. “I’m not expecting apologies, or explanations- that isn’t why I came.” Dark spots started to cloud your vision, until you blinked them away. “All that I need is for you to let me help.”

You were still blinking furiously, more dreary clouds were appearing before your eyes. “I think… I gotta lay down.”

“Of course, you’re probably exhausted.” He said, immediately moving to rearrange the pillows at the head of your bed.

You had gotten your sobs somewhat under control, now using your hand to cover a yawn. You were feeling raw as you lowered yourself down, lying out on your dirty bedsheets. You weren’t numb anymore, you couldn’t be after you had just faced the fire.

There were still many intimidating things on the path before you, but the lethargy wanted you to forget all about these. Your body was feeling very heavy again.

He helped you tuck your body in under the blankets, with you shedding the damp bath towel as you went. Your breathing still shuddered and hitched unpredictably, but those black blobs were no longer interrupting your vision.

“Little spoon is my preferred position, but I hope you’re ready to discover what a spectacular big spoon I am.” He said, succeeding in getting a smile from you. “Gimme a sec’ to take my shoes off…”

But you were asleep before he  had the chance to lie down with you. You didn’t feel his arms wrapping around you, or any of the kisses he peppered your cheek with.

… … …

When you woke up, you were alone in bed. You had been dressed in clean pyjamas and you felt refreshed, as if you had finally gotten enough rest. You could see that the world beyond your window was darker than before. The next thing that you noticed was the full glass of water on your bedside table.

As you sat up and started to drink, you realised that the floor around your bed was no longer littered with piles of clothing.

You got up, thankful for the lack of headache. You could see the rest of the apartment was filled with light and you started to walk down the hall.

You didn’t find Ethan in the living room, but this had been tidied as well. All of the cushions were on the sofa, as opposed to being strewn all across the ground. He had cleared the rubbish off of the coffee table. Beside the front door, he had organised your shoes back into the rack.

You wondered how long it had taken him to clear away all of that chaos. You couldn’t recall the last time your apartment had been this tidy.

As you walked, you began to notice an inviting smell. Your stomach growled as you progressed towards the kitchen. You realised you were smelling alfredo and your curiosity grew.

You found Ethan standing at your stove, stirring the contents of a pan. Before getting to cooking, he had done some cleaning in this room as well, washing all of the dirty dishes that had been piling up in the sink.

You blinked your eyes, expecting this entire scene to disappear - surely you had dreamt all of this up. But it wasn’t going away, this was your reality.

He tsked to himself and added something to the dish, he appeared to be concentrating carefully on this. You were able to creep up behind him, the wonderful smell of the meal growing as you got closer.

You bumped your hip against his, smiling as he looked your way. “Hi-ya, need a sous-chef?”

“Hi honey.” He returned your smile with some hesitation, his eyes giving you a quick exam. “I didn’t wake you with all of this noise, did I?”

“Nope, I didn’t hear a single thing.”

He directed your attention to the pasta dish, stirring it some more. “Does that sauce look too thick to you?”

“Uhm…” You considered the fettuccine. “I’ve seen thinner sauces, but it’s fine…” He sighed and added in a teaspoon of water. “I’m sure it’ll still taste amazing.”

“I’ll keep stirring.” He said. “I was hoping to have this done before you woke up so that I could serve you dinner in bed. I know that the thing to do is breakfast in bed, but I’m not like the other girls…” He made a gesture as if to flick his hair back from his face, except it was all already tied back, fixed into a bun at the nape of his neck.

“That’s right, you’re not.” You said. “We can still eat in bed. I mean, me and you have already dined in there. So this wouldn’t be breaking any house rules, or anything.”

He paused, the teaspoon of water delayed in its journey to the pasta and you saw a more relaxed smile come onto his face. “That is true. Are you feeling- how are you feeling? Because you seem- this sounds dumb, you’ve been awake for two seconds, and I’m all amazed because you seem like yourself again. I don’t know, am I jumping the gun here?”

“No. I do feel better, definitely not back to fighting fit yet, but it’s a significant improvement. It’s like that first gasp of breath after staying under the water for just a bit too long.” You said. “Maybe I got the last of it out with those tears, or maybe it’s just impossible to feel glum when I’ve got you around.”

“I would have come sooner. I was dying to come, actually. It’s really hard for me to not come on too strong with you. ‘Cause I think about you all of the time.” He added in another teaspoon of water and watched how this mixed in, rather than looking at you. “I open my eyes in the morning and it’s like straight away I’m so excited to check my phone ‘cause maybe you messaged or something. Or I’ll be in a situation where one of our stupid inside jokes comes to my mind and I wanna turn to you so that we could laugh together. Every time I send you a lighter, I wish I was with you, to see your reaction when you open the box.

“And with this situation I didn’t want to be imposing- like, who the Hell am I to tell you how to take care of your mental health issues? But I had this gut feeling and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong here. And I couldn’t stand back, not while this is happening to someone that I care so much about. I had to get in here and give you all of this physical care. Which, at the moment, is in the form of thick pasta sauce.”

You cleared your throat. “Actually, it looks just about perfect now.”

“You think so?”

“Yep, let’s eat.” You said and he turned the hotplate off. But instead of grabbing some plates, you grabbed him and brought him in for a tight hug. You held onto him, your face pressed into his warm skin as he wrapped his arms around you. “Thank you for coming.”

He kissed the top of your head and you breathed deep his natural scent. This was the relief you had been hoping for after letting yourself cry in Nico’s arms.

You took the dinner into your bedroom, sitting on the bed together as you ate. You consumed your meal slowly, but after a while he stopped watching every mouthful.

You saw him relax even further when you asked about how his work trip had gone. He wanted to stress to you that Japan was unlike anywhere else in the world. He was clearly enamoured with the country, sharing so many details from bread in a can, to the incredible lights of Tokyo.

As you finished your serving of fettuccine, you commented on how cute you thought he looked during the group’s karaoke excursion. You asked if he had been wearing lacy panties or something more modest under that short skirt. After answering that he had worn a pair of his regular underpants, he moved into a more thorough recounting of the night, making you laugh as he told of the escalation of misbehaviour and messiness as more shots of sakè were consumed.

“Did you know that karaoke became its own thing, independent of sing-alongs, ‘cause one night some band didn’t make it to their own gig?” He asked. “They were supposed to play at a bar and then just didn’t show up. So the guy running the bar was like, hey, you random person in the bar, get up here and sing. And the customers did it.”

“I’d have to be more than a few shots in to agree to doing something like that.” You said.

“Yeah, me too. But it explains the name. Because in Japanese, it means empty orchestra.”

“Oh, cool. Well to answer your question, no I didn’t know that.”

“You’re welcome.” He said, transferring the empty plates over to the bedside table. “Did you have enough to eat? ‘Cause there was a bit of pasta left. Otherwise, I bought some stuff for dessert- bananas, yoghurt, some little chocolate mousse things.”

“No, thanks. That was the exact perfect amount of food.” You said as you reached out, lying your hand on his knee. “When are you gonna tell me that you missed my face?”

He looked up at you, no longer studying your body. He was back to just seeing you.

“I can’t say that, ‘cause I missed so much more than just your face. I missed literally every single inch of you.” He said.

You leaned in closer to him, brushing your nose against his cheek as you slid your hand up higher, onto his thigh. “Prove it.” He turned to look at you, but before he could ask any questions, you had kissed him. “Make love to me.”

The quizzical look left his face - he didn’t need any further information, putting his hands to either side of your face so that he could pull you in for a kiss. This kiss lasted for longer than the peck you had just given him, this was something that the two of you could sink into. You moved your body closer to his, tilting your head.

He put his arms around you, guiding you into his lap. You pressed your chest to his as your tongue teased his lips apart.

He whimpered into your mouth and you felt a stirring deep in your stomach, which couldn’t be compared to the rumblings prior to your dinner. His hand moved up into your hair, gently moving through the strands as you felt your entire body warming up.

You pulled back, watching the delay as he took a second or two to open his eyes. You felt invigorated. You were moving into a state of mind that had been inaccessible to you as of late and now all you wanted to do was celebrate.

He smiled at you when he noticed you staring at him, but it was somewhat reserved, as if he wasn’t quite sure what you were smiling about. Anything that you could have said about simply being happy in this moment would have sounded supremely cheesy. Instead of this, you kissed him again, deeper and longer.

The next time you came apart was the necessary next step in you removing his tank top. You let your hands wander over this exposed skin, while you were too preoccupied by gazing into his soulful eyes.

“Make love to me, Ethan.” You said.

His hands went to the bottom of your shirt, lifting it up. Once it was out of the way, he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you in for more kisses. He let you undo his fly as his hands moved up-and-down your bare back.

You licked your lips, revelling in this feeling of your blood pumping so quickly through you. You moved out of his lap and opened the nearby draw, seeking out a condom. When you turned back around he was naked and you handed the condom over.

He gave the pillow a pat. “Lay down on your back for me.”

You shed your pants and underwear as you did as instructed. You found yourself smiling as you looked over at him, you had no explanation for it and you didn’t think you could stop it.

He laid down on top of you, taking a pause to play with your hair where it was fanned out all around your head. “I kind of wanna hear you say it again…”

“Say what again?” You asked before the realisation hit you, making you smile wider than before. You couldn’t help but flutter your eyelashes, taking this opportunity to be a bit cheeky as you repeated yourself. “Make love to me.”

“Yeah.” His face moved closer to yours. “There’s something about how that sounds. I really like it.”

He kissed you and, as his body readjusted on top of yours, you felt your heart fluttering. There was something slightly different in the escalation of your lust - exciting all the same, but it was striking you on a level deeper than you were accustomed to.

You wrapped your arms around him, squeezing tighter as he started to fill your pussy. You broke the kiss, your chest swelling as you felt so wonderfully complete - perhaps more complete than you had ever felt in your whole life.

When you opened your eyes, it was to find him watching you, his forehead resting on yours and you could see sparks in his dark eyes.

“I missed this.” He whispered, trailing the tips of his fingers down the side of your face.

You squirmed beneath him and tilted your pelvis. “I missed it more.”

He chuckled dryly. “Oh, so it’s a competition now?”

You lifted one of your legs, placing this around his waist. “Uh-huh.”

The next thing that you lifted were your hips, grinding them against him. As he pushed back, the hand that he held on your hip gripped tighter. You whimpered as he captured your lips in another crushing kiss.

You were possessed by desire as he started to thrust into you. You massaged your tongue along the roof of his mouth as you moved your body with his.

A tender pacing dictated your movements as each of you sank deeper into this embrace. It had never felt so good to be in his arms as you listened to his breathing coming in quicker, routinely punctuated by hitches.

He made a gasp for air and you were left to admire the flex of the muscles on his neck and shoulders. He pressed into you harder, making you choke back a sob as the friction between your bodies built. When he looked down at you, the intensity in his gaze rattled you right down to the core of your being. He licked his lips, some of his hair falling loose from the tie as he consistently rocked his hips against yours.

You tensed your body and grabbed with your shaking hand for the pillow above your head. He picked your hand up in his, interlacing your fingers as you started to arch your back. Your eyes met as you pressed your body to his, allowing for quicker thrusts, with less time wasted on any kind of separation.

“Fuck, baby…” He whined, letting you take him into a faster pace.

As the collisions came in quicker they also delivered a greater impact, so much of your body activated just for him. He attempted to brace himself, grabbing for your pillow with his free hand.

But you returned his favour by taking his hand in yours. You could see the delighted surprise in his eyes as you squeezed his hands.

“Oh, God… Ethan…” You whimpered as you squirmed beneath him.

“Are you getting- you’re close, aren’t you?”

You wondered when he had gotten so good at reading you. You nodded through the powerful, surging waves of pleasure that were ready to consume you. “Yes. Fuck, I am.” Your eyelids fluttered for a moment, but you refused to let them shut. “What ‘re… are you smiling?” It made you want to laugh (maybe if you had more air in your lungs, you would have done this).

“Yes. You bet your sweet ass I’m smiling.” He said, covering your cheek in enthusiastic kisses.

“Why?”

“‘Cause I’m looking at the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and she’s about to come, just for me.”

That got you smiling too as you squeezed his hands even tighter than before. The pressure was building up to fever pitch inside of you as all of your effort went into meeting each of his thrusts.

The intensity of the pleasure was greater than anything you had known and it felt like all of the blood in your body was pumping directly into your pussy.

Your hands clenched down on his and your toes curled. Your eyes shut as each stroke inside of your sensitive cunt got you closer to that edge. The tingles raced through your system and your walls spasmed around him.

Until you were coming - the release was awe-inspiring as the cum overflowed around his dick, spilling out of your cunt as he went on fucking you.

You were crying out as the jolting of his hips was marked with grunts of effort from him. You were still riding your dizzy high as you felt his arms shaking, your hands clasped together.

“Fuck.” The passion inside of him burst.

And then you were falling back onto the mattress in the silent room. He pulled out of you, lying next to you as each of you were rocked by the after effects.

This was the best kind of exhaustion you had experienced in a while. You felt so spectacularly different to the person you had been less than twenty-four hours ago. That ghost was gone and you were too pleased with yourself to fear the possibility of it coming back.

When you opened your eyes, it was to find Ethan continuing to smile. It was small and he might not have realised that he was still wearing it as he laid there with his eyes shut. You curled into his side, kissing him on the cheek.

“Was that what you wanted- uh, had in mind when you asked me to make love to you?” He asked.

You laughed, then lifted yourself up so that you could kiss him on the lips. “Yes, that was incredible.”

“You’re incredible.” He said as the look on his face got suddenly serious. “Listen, I don’t wanna be just fuck buddies or friends with benefits, not anymore.” He started to play with your hair and you rested your hand at the centre of his chest, watching as he picked these words out. “I don’t wanna just light your cigarettes and feed and fuck you.

“I want to take care of you- all of the time, in every way. Move in with me.” He said. “You shouldn’t be alone if you ever fall apart like this again.”

Your breathing was coming in quicker again. “Is this the jet lag talking?”

“No, I was thinking about this before I got on the plane.”

“Ethan…”

“Are you saying no?”

“I’m saying that I knew you were a creep that night in the bar, but I didn’t realise you were also totally crazy.”

He had started to smile. “I’m still not hearing no.”

“Aren’t you worried that I’ll steal, then lose all of your lighters?”

»»————-　♡　————-««

to be continued...

READ PART THREE HERE

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[chialattea]

Lol, my Hawke is also the bottom in her relationship with Bela (it just makes sense to me) and they do commit crimes together but she tends to be more blue/diplomatic. Is yours sarcastic? And what exactly is their dynamic like?

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THISN HFGVFYU

I forgot tumblr asks were a thing,, thank god i started fucking around and clicked the correct button.

Bottom Hawke enjoyers unite!!!! I just think it's especially funny considering theyre quote unquote the leader of the group, so thinking of them as actually losers who are just winging it makes me so happy.

My Hawke is mostly a purple/sarcastic hawke. She's mostly quite laid back and easygoing because she's allergic to taking things seriously and/or confronting her issues, which bites her in the ass as the story progresses. She'd rather die than let people know she has feelings other than funny one-liners. She's loud and rash, but somehow things keep working out for her... Until they dont. They really come crashing down. Behind her chronic class clown facade is someone with a very set personal moral code. She genuinely cares for her friends and has a surprisingly high EQ, which is why the kirkwall gang hasnt devolved into beating each other senseless. At first glance she seems flaky and unreliable, but she's relentless when it comes to that she thinks as her responsibilities: her family, her friends, and for some fucking reason the city of Kirkwall (she really, really wishes she hadnt gotten attached god fucking damnit, its a dumpster but its HER dumpster). Those are the only three subjects you'll see her getting serious about. Other than that she values freedom quite highly and doesn't really care about the big picture or politics. She's more of a small-scale, act local kind of gal.

At first Isabela and her get along like a house on fire; they love partying, they love drinking, Isabela finds Hawke's smartass attitude hilarious and Hawke finds really attractive how Isabela can steal shit without being found out. The problems start when Hawke's sense of responsibility and morals start to show up. It's not like Hawke has any issue with Isabela doing whatever she wants, she's a "live and let live" kind of person, but,,, even if Hawke presents herself as an unrepentant clown, she's anything but. She wants to help to a self-sacrificing degree, refuses to engage with her own needs and has little sense of self-preservation. She's careless yet also keeps prioritizing everyone else before herself, which infuriates Isabela. They begin a situationship which is supposed to be purely physical, but Hawke gets attached yet refuses to admit it, even to herself; Isabela finds Hawke's newfound moral righteousness grating and makes her feel judged for her choices. Basically miscommunications galore. They have a big fight where neither of them actually listen to each other and refuse to be emotionally vulnerable.

And yet both of them come back for the other in their time of need, regardless and even in spite of their positions because no matter what they actively choose to love each other,, does that make sense? After the second act both of them decide their relationship is worth the trouble of,, working through their issues together and trying to better themselves. As everything around Hawke and Kirkwall start crashing down their relationship becomes their solace. It's hard, and they fuck up a lot, but they choose to make it work and actively care for their relationship.

Yeah but anyways, my Hawke is also a bumbling idiot with enough charisma to compensate it. She has fucked before but blushes like a maiden the second she sees Isabela's ankle. She's the "me and the bad bitch i pulled with my whimsical rizz" meme. Isabela is like hawke no and shes like hawke YESSSSS she's a golden retriever. if i had to choose a character she's most similar to it'd be gideon i guess.

TLDR; hawke: "isabela i taped myself to the ceiling but now i cant get down can you handfeed me some hot pockets" isabela: "why do i find this attractive"

#da2 #dragon age #chia rambles #hawkebela #god i wrote this without thinking ill definitely make a better post #but i wanted to answer because i felt so bad i hadnt seen this ask before #anyways its all about emotional vulnerability and choosing to love each other around here #and being chaotic together #be gay do crimes #aveline is constantly on the verge of a stroke #hawke is the kind of gal who says yippee unironically #shes cringe but she is free #everyone is like god damnit shes so fucking pathetic why do we like her #shes eating food off the floor #yet somehow when push comes to shove she DELIVERS #so they grow attached to their horror

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Life of Crime (2013) Ep 1 & 2 -Watching Con-Tent for #? Days cause I need serotonin till S2 OFMD ruins me. TODAY! DCI Ferguson

I'm back!

I highly recommend you watch the two episodes. They're full if the warnings aren't too much. Poll to vote on about this show down below!

Special thanks to the usual suspects who keep me sane If you haven't watched this, just ignore me:

@dianetastesmetal for randomly popping up on my dash, and giving me the inspiration to finally watch.

@ivegotnonameidea @gydima @kimpreg @treesofgreen @mossiestpiglet

------------------------------------------------------------------------

WARNINGS FOR: Discussions of Sexual assault of a minor. Rape is a large influence in the plot. Murder, kidnappings, and generally sexism generally focused around the 80s, a bit in the 90s. General ACAB esk behavior, fucking up evidence in a police investigation.

I know Hayley Atwell for some reason. OHHH yeah, right. Okay, warning right off the bat. I'm not a huge fan of her. This might make me biased, but I'm here to see twenty minutes at most of the screen time. 

God the 80s were weird, fashion, and social attitude. ETC. 

As I have said before. I would laugh if a British cop charged at me dressed like that.

I HEAR HIM. I hear CON

YESSS HELP HER CON(Of course, I'd want more like him straight up , but it's the 80s)

God he's pretty

(She gets concussed) Mam, please go lie back down. 

'They'd let anyone in'-sure, but probably not cops

If this is a cop show about women only trusting her cause she's a woman, then I'm on board. Kinda. Maybe.

Hi Con! GOD YOU LOOK GOOD. Hello, hello. You look stressed as shit. 

(A few scene jump) That's sweet, that her partner/supervisor knew she forgot her cap so he talked her up in front of their boss.

WELL, that's a shitty way to tell a person her daughter died. Seriously, how the fuck to you say those words without sympathy. 

Nice that a suspect gets tea, I guess

I'm assuming these are college students? Maybe?

I know we all as the audience know something more is going on here. But going behind your superior's back, on the clock, is still an issue. Especially if she's a rookie. Does she think because her boss was friends with her dad, she can just do whatever she wants?

No, you know what, I kind of agree with Ferguson. Especially if she's just joining cases willy nilly. The chain of commond in policing circles exists for a reason. Are we supposed to recognize that she is the only woman, yeah. Are we supposed to see her branching out as finding justice, yeah. But she's a cop who just got her badge. She shouldn't be working on these cases yet.

This feels like entrapment. 

Music's great tho

Oh yeah, when I deal, I do it in open doorways of a busy club. Perfectly lit. 

The criminal is a jackasses, great. 

God, seeing her just go out of her jurisdiction, in her personal time, to go investigate fucking bugs me. Is Ferguson a shit boss, hell yeah. Do these women not feel safe and don't want to speak up, and she feels a duty to do right by them yeah. It's overall just shit, cause she doesn't have the clearance she should to be involved. 

As much as I don't really like 

IS SHE FUCKING STEALING EVIDENCE. Oh she's ruining evidence? Ohhh Shit. 

I'm not saying we in the US should keep this energy for when the authorities act up…but

GOD HE'S HOT. In a nice white button up.

Awww he's so tired, wiping his eyes. Give him a cig, something to sip, and a blanket.  

LOOK HE ADMITTED SOME VERSION OF FAULT. GOSH. That's kind of rare. See, he's a jackass, but he wants to get shit done the correct way. Shame she undermined him.  

Overall: Not a bad episode. Something I'd never watch if Con wasn't in it. My disdain/dislike of Hayley Atwell does kinda ruin this a bit for me. Again, it's a mix. The cops should have had more empathy with the case, and it's a shame they needed a rookie to act sympathetically to the victim. She had to go behind their back to get it done, which again. There are obvious reasons cops need to jump through so many loopholes. She did something VERY illegal. This isn't justice, this is state-funded vigilantism. I wonder what bullshit she'll get up to in episode 2. 

Episode 2:

Babe, you will never, ever be treated as one of the guys. You can work your way up, know them for years, but that will always be a barrier. Getting to know your coworkers is fine, yeah, but damn. Spending your whole life just so a few men respect you sounds like shit. 

That's like, a decade time jump, right? Damn. Nvm, maybe she found a comfortable niche. 

THOSE TWO FUCKIN? THEY HAD A KID? Good for them. They're cute. I totally didn't see it in Ep 1. I just thought he was being a nice guy helping out the newbie….

Nice for Grandma to do that for them.

Kids need routines babe, if dad makes pancakes, he probably has the stuff. I know cooking isn't everyone's thing but it is like…5 ingredients? Maybe make the meal with your kid and connect? Unless she literally planed to get ready in 20 minutes and kinda forgot she had a kid. 

Love how the office changed

This guy's probably a stalker then. Gross. The fact that he has bipolar disorder makes me cautious. 

OH SHIT. Wait, didn't she fuck with that evidence?

BITCH? Why are you scared of a DNA test? Sketchy fucker. 

Yeah, this situation is a bit shit. 

Good of her for ensuring there were more women on the force. 

Oh, the jackass who hit on her is investigating her, fun. 

SUPERINTENDENT Ferguson. Good for him. Bitch didn't have a life outside of work then. Damn, shame. Looking like that? Unrealistic. 

How the fuck were they able to pull CCTV so fast. 

MY GUY, MY MAN! THE LONG JACKET! AHHHH. 

Legit. Let them take it. 

GOD, he's hot. LOOK AT HIM. Stepping away from the stress of every day juggling a police force did him well. I hope the reason he's saying all this shit about finding time for himself is because he genuinely learned his lesson. He seems so fucking soft in this episode. More patient, and like the man we met at the beginning in ep 1.

I AGREE. She doesn't need to step in. 

GOD HE NEEDS A LOVE INTEREST. The sad little bureaucrat learning how to love. Learning to slow down and live life.

Whelp, you dug yourself into this mess. Good Job! I'm glad they immediately finish up the story. 

BRO. Even if you didn't make a life together, it was still a shitty thing to do regardless. 

Haaahaahaa. That's what you get for fucking with evidence, you idiot.  

Oh, I know exactly what she should say. 'Uhhhh…well, i'm the one that forged the evidence, so there might be a conflict of interest.'

SHIT

WHY DOES THE CROWN STILL USE WIGS!!!!! God, they're so ugly, it's fucking funny. 

Come on Ferguson, do the right thing here. 

DAMMNNNNNNNN. Nice babe, don't fucking throw yourself down with her for doing something dumb. He did everything he could.

Oh shit. They seriously brought her rape up in court, damn. 

Yeah, no, this would be leading the witness, and she obviously didn't know this would be brought up. 

Bro, just fucking admit to it. Jesus Christ. 

Whyyyyyyyyyy wouldn't you take the deal. Even if he did the crime she helped falsify evidence. 

Wait, what happened? Why did England go on holiday in the 90s? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED IN ENGLAND PAST THE 1890s. 

Yeah, going on a break would be healthy for both of them. Good on him for standing up for himself. 

I AGREE! RAY! GET IT! Plus so much of their lives are at work, the only time they have together is after. They can't legally discuss cases. What do they have besides trust? She broke that. 

OKAY. Buddy, you can't just insist on full custody, that's not how divorce works. You both are fucking cops, and make enough that you can actually come to an agreement in court. 

Yeah, he's a good dad. Still, they should settle this legally so if something goes wrong he's not held accountable. Or if either of them gets snippy and decides to use the kid as leverage.

Yeah, she would make enough money as a sergeant alone to survive. Jesus Christ, giving yourself away to a cause or a job isn't Noble. Never has been. Look at Ferguson. He gave his life to this shit and all they did was promote him up. Now, what does he have? Days filled explaining the law with rich fuckers, and no time to live.   

SHE SHOULD BE ARRESTED! Accept the fucking findings Jesus Christ. 

GOD I HATE HER. That judge/lawyer representing the crown is just as much an arm of the law as you are asshole, was it shitty to bring it up like that? 

Yeah! 

But that's an obvious motive. SHOCKING. But the law is just kind of like that, impersonal and driven only by facts you can prove. Especially toward victims of sexual assault. Putting people away from just vibes alone is dangerous. Our protagonist was acting like this judge was being shitty, she's doing her job. You put a man away for twelve years, regardless of if you think he's guilty, on ruined evidence. He was within his right to have his case investigated further. It wasn't personal. 

OH! So you start getting snippy with her in the parking lot then back out of the conversation like a child! YOU'LL STILL NEED TO WORK WITH THIS JUDGE AT SOME POINT YOU IDIOT! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! 

Ahhhhh, resting at a hotel room. Nice. 

Overall for the episode? I liked her getting her just deserts, but CON WAS BARELY IN IT. He was a smokeshow for his one scene, but…Nah, seeing Haily Atwell get bullied will always fulfill a petty hole within me. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Con: 11+/10. Look, I love this scraggly little guy. If a Con character can be summarized as *He needs a friend, a fuck, and to realize his life has meaning outside of his work* That will always be a character that I will love. He's tired, he's overworked, he's devoted. He's got it all. I have no notes of criticism beyond 1.) I needed a whole lot more of him. 2.) I needed to see him learn to love life specifically. I get that he's a mirror for our protagonist, what she could become, but god. Seeing it would have been great.

I generally can't stand law series/shows that focus on cops. See my thoughts on Murder City, and yeah. This one isn't great. But Con was so fucking good in this. An angry guy, stressed, trying to keep things in order so they don't get slammed in the press. Is his hesitating to correctly investigate all aspects of the case shittily? Hell yeah! But our protagonist literally had no experience. So. I don't see him as being totally out of his mind. Really fun, I need more. Especially ep 2 Ferguson.

Also, he's hot. Aged like wine, but still, not the man we thirst for today! Highly enjoy it. Especially all the lovely images @dianetastesmetal has given us.

Everyone else: 6-7/10. Again. I'm biased and I acknowledge that. But it was alright. What you'd expect from a cop procedural. Everyone's an asshole or just bound up in so many loopholes they are ineffective.

Story: Definitely intriguing, if the point was for us to hate our protagonist, they did good. I enjoyed seeing her get punished for abusing her position.

Overall: 8/10. I'm not sure I would rewatch it, but I really didn't hate it! Con was good, and for me, his implied arc was almost as interesting as the show itself. A good show about how devoting your life to work is kind of shit. I will be adding this show to the con ranking, so that should be updated soon.

#Con's Conography #con o'neill #con oneill #life of crime (2013) #dci ferguson #life of crime