"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together
truly everyone just needs to get at least eighty percent more normal about sex right now. having it doesn't change something deep and spiritual about you, virginity is a myth. other people's sex lives are probably not that much better than yours as you imagine. there is no "normal amount" you should be doing it at your age, whatever age that happens to be. it can be a great element of your life and your relationship but it's hardly gonna define the quality of either. have it with your friends just because you're bored and have nothing good to watch. or do it with one person you deeply trust if that's how you prefer. overly idealizing it will put an insane amount of pressure on yourself and it'll make the experience suck. nothing in porn is real. your boundaries are yours to set and no one's to question.