#but these kinda asks always seem caked in judgment

[amazingmsme]

Why do you not have a tag for your weird tickling/tickler stuff? I don't want to be mean, it's just I really hate seeing them and there's no tag to block.

I try to keep everything sorted by fandom, but if it’s really that big of an issue, I guess I can start tagging things. I know my blog is a hot mess, I know I need to keep it organized better, but I can’t really find it in me to try & get things organized. One of these days tho, I do plan on bringing some order to this dumpster fire

But if you really think it’s that weird, you can always just… leave. My interest is clearly not yours, & that’s fine! To each their own & all, but that is the kind of content I post the most. Not the only thing, but it is the majority (what can I say? I started young, built up a brand, & now people Expect Things™️)

I’m sorry if you found me through the normal tags & ended up at the freakshow lol

#asks #anon ask #tfb community #ok but like #if you think it’s so fucking weird no one’s forcing you to stay #idk bro i’m just so fucking tired #i know it’s stupid & i shouldn’t #but messages like these just make me feel so ashamed & like i’m some disgusting freak no one understands #idk it’s just the mortifying ordeal of being known #or something like that #but i can just feel the judgment coming from people like this #like ‘you’re a fucking freak but i won’t say it outright’ #it’s just heavily implied #idk maybe i’m reading too much into it #but these kinda asks always seem caked in judgment

[abloomingperiod]

menace | jeon jungkook

"just tell me already, babe" jungkook's voice whines through the line, and you roll your eyes so much at his boyish manners it hurts your eye sockets.

"no, jungkook. and don't you 'babe' me", you tell him in a rigid tone, and you hear what seems to be a defeated sigh.

if you didn't know him, that could be believable.

after a few seconds, you hear him again, "fine, i'll just go inside every single one 'til i find you", he says in a smug voice, and you just know he is smirking as he says it.

"the fuc- no you're not. leave me alone."

"you're gonna make me lose it, y/n" he goes back to whining, "one day, you get mad because- well, i kinda messed up, yeah... then when i try to make it right, you get mad because i'm trying to! you're not making any sense!" his voice now is nowhere near a normal tone, but you don't even get mad at his pathetic complaints.

jungkook whines. he fucking whines.

and even though you feel like telling him off, you can't deny what's inside your heart - from the insistent curling up of your lips to the hand putting your phone impossibly closer to your ear,

you find it adorable.

a second deep sigh brings you back to earth, followed by a pleading, yet small "just tell me where you are."

"no."

"i'm finding you."

"you sound like a psycho."

"you're making me act like one."

"then i hope someone hears it and calls authorities on you."

"yah, what is it with you today? geez... i should get into meditation with the amount of patience i'm putting on you today..." you hear his muffled complain with a hidden grin, and you almost miss the buzz of cars and anonymous voices evading your desperate, whiny situationship's phone call. just where the hell is he-

"that leather jacket again? shoulda bought you a new one instead of getting these..."

...what.

you look around and no one even resembles the annoying ass that goes by the name of jungkook, and still, you feel as hot as every time his eyes rests on your figure.

then, standing against a building wall, big doe eyes stare right at you, proud and smug, and yet, annoyingly enticing. jungkook has his phone in one hand, and in the other...

holds a bouquet of sunflowers.

"oh, god."

"told you i'd find your ass."

"you really went psycho, didn't you?"

"maybe. come outside or i'm screaming your name across the street."

you groan as frustrated as ever and hope his ear bleeds with it, intentionally smushing you lips on the speaker. when you watch his scrunched up nose disapproving of it, you almost feel satisfied, but his shit-eating grin following makes you question if you still had enough cake on your plate to throw at him - although it would be a horrible waste, specially knowing where - or whom - it would land on.

there's better use for it, so you just ask the waiter to wrap it up for you to take home. maybe you could poison it and give it to jeon, or maybe you could stop lying to yourself and acknowledge the other part of your brain that imagines you and him sharing it after hours and hours of kissing.

kisses. it's been a while since they've happened.

exactly. don't forget about that.

jungkook is a menace.

you sigh before hanging up with a defeated "fine". after paying the cashier and opening the door, you have to mentally brace yourself for what's to come - his softly curled hair and pretty nose bridge could affect your judgment like nothing else - and he knows it, but jungkook knows better than to joke about it. he knows the risk of being a dead man by tomorrow exists and prevails.

you get close to his pretty figure that's waiting for you and jungkook eyes you from head to toe, maybe as if to identify any body language that indicates you're about to throw your things at him, and he almost pouts at the absence of it, even if it was for a silly, light slap on his arm, like you always do when he annoys you.

jungkook misses your touch.

undoubtedly, he eyes you like he wants to meet every part of your body again - and you feel like it burns.

you stare at each other for a few seconds, until jungkook simply asks,

"miss me?"

"like a rat misses a cat"

he scoffs at you and shakes his head slightly, and his left hand offers you the yellow, beautiful bouquet. you eye the bouquet, eye him, and then the bouquet, and then him...

"i'm sorry for making you wait for over an hour at my door. i fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm, and i really wish i didn't because it looked like i didn't care but i really do, i actually thought about it since you said you could come over and it even made me a little off throughout those 2 days. i don't want you thinking i don't care. i really do... and i hate the face you make when you're mad at me." jungkook says in a sweet, sincere tone, and you notice your lips already curling up to the point it hurts. doe eyes find your own, and you feel your heart stumble all over your train of thought.

"so you're saying my face is the problem?" you bitterly retort.

"yah, didn't you just hear anything i said? don't pull this now." he responds with an annoyed, impatient and a little whiny tone, and you focus on his mole so you won't smile again at his annoyance. "and no, you're always pretty. your mad face is just scary."

you can't resist and let a small grin appear on your lips, followed by a scoff and a "you have such a way with words, jeon jungkook," you respond, eyes narrowed and grin still plastered on your face.

"if i had more time to come up with a heartfelt apology maybe i could do better but i was too busy searching for this girl around the neighbourhood."

"and how's that search going for you?" you ask, finally reaching for the apology in form of your favourite flowers he holds.

a doe eyed jungkook eyes your face again, nose scrunching up and smile appearing as he watches you embrace the bouquet with a big smile. as your teeth appear and the golden sunlight hits your face illuminating your puffy cheeks, his smile turns into a whipped one.

jungkook has always been a man of giggles and jokes, but as the sun insists on you and irradiates over your eyes that now reaches his, glowing and big, he can't help but blurt out,

"i think i found everything i was looking for."

you're a fool. in this exact moment, across an ordinary street with unfamiliar faces and loud city noises, you finally realize.

you're a fool for jeon jungkook.

you can't resist - once again -, and quickly rest a peck on his cheek, like you're two hiding lovers, even though, no one knows you, and any other noise is louder than your words.

but jungkook loves it. like a cheesy soulmate story, jungkook thinks your kisses were destined to be his to take.

he stares at you, so fondly and so adoring you almost blush.

"we're good?" he asks shyly.

"yes, jungkook. we're fine." you respond with a chuckle and eyes rolling back.

"hm... no. fine is not enough."

"well, you'll need more than flowers to be more than fine."

he narrows his eyes at you, and you think for a second he just might call it a day and give up, when the bluntiest person in the world asks you,

"let me date you."

you're sure your heart just skipped a dozen beats.

"what."

"let me date you. be my girlfriend. i've been meaning to ask you that for a while now..."

"a-are you going this far just to-"

"don't even go there", he stops you. jungkook takes the wrapped cake and bag on his hand, as if to help you, even though you didn't ask for help. "i would like to be your boyfriend, and i think you would like that, too. i think we're a good match and i want to confirm that i'm correct. so, do you want to be my girlfriend?" he blurts out and you don't think you've ever heard him speak so fast in his life.

jungkook stares at you, and with your 3 second-silence, his eyes go big and round like he's anxious and impatient, and you think you're a selfish being for finding it so adorable to the point it turns into a 4 second-silence.

so, you let him live.

"sure." you respond, and jungkook judges your words with a heavy frown.

"'sure'? why are you being so nonchalant about it? i'm pouring my heart out for you and all i get-"

he's not able to finish because your lips are already on his, and you god you miss him. you miss him, you miss him, you miss him.

jungkook retributes right away, arm wrapping around your waist as your hand caress his cheek. his plush lips kissing yours so softly, but so urgently. he misses you, he misses you, he misses you.

god, he misses you.

and as you pull out and grab his hand, you simply say "i think you're correct, too. and yes, i do."

he smiles wide, watching your entangled fingers with a giggly, dazed "yeah... me, too."

he's adorable.

"hey, is this cake being saved for later..."

"yes, for when you properly welcome me at your home." jungkooks gives you a look and encircles your shoulders with his arm, and says "then, let's go. my girl needs her proper welcome right now."

you want to twirl your hair around your finger and giggle the night away, and you would, if jungkook wasn't wearing the smuggest smile on his lips, and you can't help but roll your eyes hard, and you also can't help but let the stupid grin you're holding appear on your face.

jungkook is a menace.

#omfggggg #i just think hes such a flirt honestly #he might be bitchless with that single ass looking apartment #but he just Is flirty af ok he just IS #he got it from jm #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jeongguk imagine #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabble #jungkook fluff

[dzpenumbra]

1/12/23

I'm eating Ben & Jerry's Dirt Cake ice cream. It's good. :D

Today was pretty heavily dominated by a difficult focal point. I'm noticing that my isolation and social starvation has sent me to social media again. It always seems to, I really don't have a lot of options socially currently. It may seem odd saying this... on a social media platform... but this site has pretty constantly been mostly one-way communication, people don't really interact on here with my stuff. And that's cool, don't get me wrong, I don't mean that passive aggressively, merely factually. My purpose of doing this journal is not affected even remotely by interaction, the purpose is solely to keep my stream-of-consciousness create flow muscles in shape, to therapeutically work through the day's issues and to counteract my own social anxiety by doing this in a public format. By the time I hit Post, my process is done, so... no big there. Anything else is extra.

After the whole thing last week, I haven't really felt cool with my city's subreddit. And reddit as a whole just... most of the conversations are like 80% people I really don't want anything to do with. Like... super judgmental, superficial, egotistical, hedonistic, antisocial people. Just not the kind of people I want to be hanging out with. And reddit has had by far the most ridiculously heinous ads. So I really want to stray from there. I tried Insta today, but that is seriously 1 ad every 5 posts you look at. It's fucking stupid. The ads are more palatable but like... it just puts a bad taste in my mouth. Like I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood to buy something right now, I just fucking woke up and I just want to watch some skate clips and art stuff.

I did yoga, which was good but... again... I hit the road block of not being able to get into a pose and then I was just super behind for a bit. Frustrating. But I got past it and it was good. After that... was the big bad moment.

I fell for clickbait. I saw a video on my recommended feed that was blaming The Berrics for fucking this dude over. It was over an hour long of this dude just sitting in front of a camera with a super expensive mic and just talking. Let me preface this by saying I actually got an early start to the day and was planning to get groceries. I clicked the video. This guy was... ... sad? I guess? I don't know how to really put it. Like... he was trying to impress his dad or something? But... in a "I'm a self-help guru" and "I'm a professional businessman" kinda way. And I looked through his videos, he had like 67K subs but his last few videos were getting like double digit views. Like the highest view count video he had was like 20K, and he had over 60K subs? I mean... yeah. I shit you not he was wearing both a hat and a hoodie with the words "Doubt Me" on them, and had his hashtag "#doubtme" (please for the love of god do not give this guy the analytic affirmation of searching that, no matter how morbid the curiosity may be) on screen the whole time. It was his "mantra". <facepalm> How could I say no to that? I doubted him. I mean, he was asking so nicely!

I start to write my "reaction" in the comments section. I could go on for a long time rehashing the details of that, but to put it succinctly, he did some... really sketchy and possibly illegal shit... and was putting this video out there as like... shifting the blame onto the Berrics. Trying to specifically out the founder, Steve Berra. Like personally naming him, and using his logo and his fucking face as the thumbnail for the video. Like... talk about defamation lawsuit, man. The dude just got control of his business back from sketchy stockholders like 3 fucking days ago after 5 years, and he has this eyebrow-waxing motherfucker shitting on his name like that. And, from as far as I could tell, it was primarily because he was having trouble being assertive and saying "no" to someone who was very blatantly trying to use The Berrics brand and image as a way to self-promote, trying to piggyback off their fame. Ugh, I'm getting upset again.

So here's the problem. I finally wrapped up the video and my whole like... in-depth 2+ page response. I was squirming in my chair like a toddler I had to piss so bad. I looked at the clock, it was past 5PM. I have no idea when I sat down and opened that, I'd ballpark around 1:30 or 2. I felt like I fucking time-traveled. And it wasn't even worth it. For real. I deleted the fucking comment. It wasn't going to make a difference, it was like a 2 page comment, who is going to read that? And what difference will it make? It's like... a reaction video in itself. I just deleted it and booked it up to the shower, praying I could get to the grocery store in time because I had my therapy appointment today.

I did not have enough time. I started shopping on Instacart, because a storm is coming, so I needed food. I got the order in the cart and... my mom calls. Half an hour before my meeting. I pick up and start unloading, which just spirals into catastrophizing. It got dark real quick. From "I lost time" to "I'm a fuck up" to "I have no friends" to "its not safe to meet new people". In like not even 10 minutes. Ugh. Luckily I went to therapy and got tons of that cleared up, and got a huge dose of like... "hey dude, by the way, that's not your fault. You suffered because of that, and you didn't even enjoy it. You were baited, and you didn't enjoy it, so don't beat yourself up over that. It's in the past." It helped a ton, and we went over different executive functioning tools to help with getting stuff done and daily structuring too. It was super helpful, I felt a ton better.

Then I called my mom back and apologized for my depressive episode, which is weird because... again... I shouldn't really apologize for something I can't really help because it hits me the hardest... but I apologized for how it affected her, because it must've been jarring. I felt like it was the right thing to do. And it was a nice moment.

The rest of the night was cooking potatoes, taking down timestamps on the Ancestors vids so I can maybe put together a little short narrative video from that. And... ice cream. Yep. That was my entire day. But, good news, got my groceries. I said fuck it and got the Instacart and I got lucky because the person made good substitutions when I was in my session. Now I'm just gonna prep for an early night. I'm really emotionally drained from it all. I don't fucking care anymore (at least not at the moment) if people out there think my problems are stupid or other people have it worse. The chain reactions in my head, the spirals that happen, the emotional burden of it all... it's rough. And if people are just going to scoff and compete and talk shit, I really hope they just keep fucking scrolling.

If it's one thing I need to take from today, it's that I need to stop giving my emotional bandwidth and energy to people who would never offer that much to me in return. I wrestle back and forth on where that fits on an ethical scale, as far as like... being a "good person"... but on a survival scale? I just can't do it. It doesn't make me a bad person to walk away from people who don't take my debilitating struggles seriously, it makes me... a self-respecting person.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[collecting-stories]

Cardigan - Rafe Cameron

Request: heyy for the ts anthology, can u do one for cardigan with rafe? love ur writing🤍 

TS Anthology Series | Outer Banks Masterlist

_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._

The summer you turned thirteen was the same summer your dad showed up again. Driving the same lemon of a car that he’d pulled out of the driveway in when you were six, he looked like he hadn’t aged. Or maybe you just didn’t remember him all that well because his face felt the same but you were different. When you missed your best friend’s birthday, a trip to the gymnastics gym on the mainland and a towering cake with fondant replicas of all her favorite things, she was rightly pissed.  

Thirteen felt monumental, like the movie the two of you had snuck onto your mom’s Verizon bill, and you had both made a pact that you would be there for each other no matter what. That promise included birthdays and, more seriously, dads who showed up after seven years of radio silence because they didn’t want to “miss anything else”. But you didn’t mention your dad because hers was so great and you felt a little like you were floating on an island and no one could understand you enough to reach it. But then you missed her birthday and she swore not to speak to you and that felt more crushing than the dad thing until her brother stepped in. Always the one playing referee in when you fought, Rafe was a few years older and, in your mind, a lot smarter.  

It felt pretty important that an older boy would make the time to talk to you, especially when he had to know that his sister was avoiding you at all costs. He’d just gotten his permit and, like any good brother, showed up in the car he wasn’t supposed to drive with a minor in the passenger seat, to take you around the island for the afternoon.  

“My mom said she thinks we’re gonna move.” You mentioned, less casually than you would’ve hoped. The windows in the truck were rolled down and you had your legs up, feet placed precariously on the window ledge. There was a particularly nasty bruise on your knee from falling off your skateboard three days ago and a few short hairs you’d missed shaving. You were relatively new to both shaving and skateboarding so there were bound to be mistakes, you just wished they were less visible.  

“Off the island?” Rafe asked, concern etched into his tone. You assumed the concern was for his sister, what would Sarah do if you moved? Who would put up with all her antics?

You shook your head, “to the cut.”

“Why?”

“She can’t afford the house on her own anymore and my dad has been lousy with child support.” You repeated back all the things she had said to you. Why she didn’t take him to court like the other kid in your grade with divorced parents was beyond you. Rose told her that it was the only way to ensure he paid what he was supposed to but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to hold him accountable.  

Can’t believe you’re gonna be a pogue.” He said it like it meant something worse than you moving to the mainland.

“It’s not forever. My grandma’s house is there, we’re gonna stay with her until we can get back up on our feet.” You shrugged, “at least my dad’ll stay away then.”

But you dad wasn’t the only one who kept their distance. It felt like the distinction over your mother’s life choices held a greater impact on your friends than they had let on. A year into pogue life and Rafe seemed to disappear almost completely. It had always been an odd kind of friendship in the first place but you’d thought that it could’ve withstood a change in address.  

Sarah kept in touch, unbothered by labels or mailing addresses. She’d been to your grandma’s a hundred times before you moved and she continued to go there to see you after. The two of you played in the backyard, doing tricks on the trampoline until gossiping about kids at school became more important than cartwheels. You’d lay there whispering as if someone might overhear, telling each other stories from the week that you were separated. Rafe always came to pick her up, staying in the car and honking the horn for her but never coming over to see you.  

It felt a little lonely even though you technically retained most of your friends.  

-

In tenth grade you got the role of Eponine in the teen camp production of Les Miserables that the local theatre was putting on. You were technically sharing the role with another girl your age but you couldn’t help being excited nonetheless. The boy playing Marius was in two of your classes, a senior who had lofty city dreams and a nice smile. He flirted almost constantly with you, brushing your hair back, telling you how pretty you were, inviting you out after practice. You told Sarah you were “pretty sure” you were on your way to having your first real boyfriend.  

But maybe the ominous casting of Eponine over your life should’ve been hint enough that things weren’t destined to work out that way. The boy who played Marius had an actual girlfriend, home from vacationing with her family in time to watch her boyfriend on stage, and you were supposed to accept that he was just “connecting to the character” when he was with you. Either way, your On My Own struck a different chord in you and after the show was over you didn’t join the other cast members in the lobby to greet people.  

“So when you get to New York...do I get to leak all those videos of you and Sarah doing your Genie in a Bottle routine?” Rafe asked, pulling a chair next to you at the makeup table. Yours was halfway off but you’d stopped scrubbing at your face to stare at yourself in the mirror. Self-pity was a powerful procrastinator.

“You’re supposed to be in the lobby.” You pointed out, ignoring his comment, “I look like a ghost raccoon that just climbed out of a dumpster.  

“Now there’s an analogy.” He laughed and picked up the cotton pads you had sitting on the counter, soaking one in micellar water and turning your head to face him.  

You bit your bottom lip as you tried to keep your composure. It’d been a while since you and Rafe had been alone and last time he was just your best friend’s cute older brother. Too old for you and way out of your league but you were fifteen now and seventeen didn’t feel so far away.  

But Sarah was your best friend and she would be mortified if she found out that you had even entertained the idea of her brother, let alone had serious thoughts about it.  

“I’m sorry,” you said as he swiped the cotton pad over your cheek.

“What for?”  

“I know we’re all supposed to go out tonight for dinner but I kinda just wanna go home.” You replied.  

“Sarah might’ve let it slip about-”

You groaned, “don’t even say his name.” You weren’t sure if it was embarrassment at having let yourself totally believe he liked you but hearing Rafe bring it up made you feel even worse.

“Hey, you’re so much better than that loser,” He insisted, “I’ll beat the crap outta him though, just say the word.”

-

It was that same year, just as school was ending, that you turned sixteen. A short stay in the cut at your grandma’s house had helped your mom get back on her feet. A new job, better than the one that let her go, afforded a moderately sized house back on Figure Eight and a birthday with all the friends that had left the two of you behind.  

Sixteen felt a little more important than thirteen had, especially because, for two whole weeks, time suspended and you were technically only a year younger than Rafe. You still hadn’t told Sarah that you liked her brother, though she did seem a little suspicious when the crush on your co-star dissipated almost overnight. The boys of the past had no hold over your growing infatuation with Rafe. Maybe it was foolish but you couldn’t help thinking that maybe it wasn’t.  

Especially not when he showed up at your house the same way he had when you were thirteen, though this time he had his actual license and not just a permit. He told you it was birthday drive around the island, that he was in charge of stalling you while Sarah set up a surprise party at your house.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me that it’s a surprise.” You teased, sipping at the iced coffee that Rafe had brought you when he picked you up. You swished the ice around once before sipping again.  

“It’s a party either way.” Rafe replied, shrugging his shoulder.  

“So, we’re just driving around until she texts you?” You asked. Rafe turned into the Island Club, circling the parking lot once and then turning back around.  

“I’m yours until Sarah says otherwise.” He said, the words erupting butterflies in your stomach. You could practically feel yourself heat up thinking about what those words could mean if he wasn’t just your best friend’s brother.  

“Well...then do you wanna go to the beach?” You suggested, “Jaxon showed me this really cool spot on the south side that’s practically hidden.”

“Jaxon?” Rafe sounded judgmental when he said the other boy’s name, whether he meant to or not.  

“Yea, we’ve been on a couple dates. You know him, he took me to prom,” you supplied, thinking of the way Rafe had sulked on the staircase while you and Sarah had gotten your pictures taken on the front lawn of Tanney Hill. The last picture in the bunch, despite his sulkiness, was of you and Rafe. You’d asked and he had obliged, coming down onto the porch to take a picture with you before everyone left for the dance.  

It was your favorite picture, even more than the countless ones of you and Sarah or the few of you and Jaxon. He was just a place holder anyway, someone to take your mind off the thing you couldn’t have. Not that it was working, especially when you were driving around with Rafe at the moment.  

“I remember him.” Rafe replied, “so this special part of the beach?”

“It’s so pretty.” You confirmed, “Sarah and I went there a couple weeks ago but she only ever wants to sunbathe.”  

“Don’t say it like you’re surprised.” He said, pulling his car off to the side of the road when you told him to.  

You were out of the car first, letting the door fall shut behind you as you headed up the wooden ramp to the beach. The drop off at the top was a little steeper here than anywhere else, the beach mostly desolate. You stopped at the top of the walkway, turning back to wait for Rafe. He was standing at the bottom of the ramp staring up at you.  

“Are you coming up or what?” You called.  

“Yeah,” he nodded, walking up the path to you.  

“I know Sarah’s planning a big birthday for me, but I’d much rather have this...” you admitted, “just like, coming out to the beach with you...”  

“Oh yeah?” He asked, grinning down at you.  

“Don’t tell Sarah,” you joked, “she’ll be mad-”

“Why, cause I’m your favorite Cameron?”

Maybe it was being sixteen or maybe it was that you were feeling particularly bold, out here on the beach with just Rafe, no threat of prying eyes to interrupt you. Either way, you had been thinking about telling him for a while now and it felt like the time...even if getting rejected ran the risk of ruining your birthday.  

“I know I’m just Sarah’s best friend but...I really like you Rafe.” You said, “and I know it’s like a million to one that you like me back but I just felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell you.” You waited a beat for him to say something and when he didn’t you kept talking, “Sorry, I know this is so weird-”

“It’s not weird.” Rafe cut you off, “I’m just shocked that you seriously think I only see you as Sarah’s best friend.” His tone was teasing as he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and cupped your cheek. “You’re so much more than that.”

-

It was Sarah who told you, days before your eighteenth birthday. She’d seen Rafe with someone else when her family took a weekend trip out to Chapel Hill to see a game. There was a girl there, hanging all over her brother. He swore she was just a friend, told Sarah not to tell you, but Sarah wasn’t dumb and she wouldn’t help her brother cover up an indiscretion. So she told you flat out that her brother was cheating on you.  

When Sarah first found out that you and Rafe were dating, she had been as mad as her thirteenth birthday. How could you go behind her back and date her brother? The anger dissipated slowly, over the course of the summer it became clear that were not going to leave her in the dust for Rafe. She wasn’t wholly supportive of the relationship but she was supportive of you and if Rafe was who you wanted to be with than she’d be happy for you.  

But if she had to choose, it would always be you over Rafe.  

“I didn’t want to tell you, I really thought about not saying anything but...you deserve to know.” It was the justification she used as your face fell, all the giddiness from planning your eighteenth birthday fading in the blink of an eye.  

“He cheated?” And it felt like a punch to the gut. “Are you sure?”

“He said she was just a friend but...I don’t hang on my friends like that.” Sarah remarked.  

You fiddled with the phone in your lap, Sarah’s comments turning over in your head. You could refute them, tell her that you’d just talked to him the night before and he told you how excited he was to see you, how much he loved you. He’d used the word love...that had to mean something right? You could call him, ask him straight away if he was actually cheating, but you suspected that he would only lie to you. And if he wasn’t cheating, if he did tell the truth, would you believe him? Sarah was your best friend and once she had planted the seeds of doubt in you, they seemed to flourish there.  

You didn’t say anything else about it to Sarah that night and when Rafe called to talk, like he always did, you pretended that everything was fine. But that could only last for so long. A week before your party, on the same special part of the beach that Rafe had first kissed you, things ended. Rafe had sworn to Sarah that the girl at school was just a friend but he couldn’t lie to you, and he didn’t try to either.  

“It was a mistake,” he insisted, as if it was the type of thing you could brush off.  

“But you still made it.” You replied.  

“I didn’t mean to.” Rafe didn’t have any good reasons for why he had cheated on, only that he had and that, since you now knew, he was apologetic. “I don’t even talk to that girl anymore. She meant nothing to me.”

“Obviously she meant more than we did.”  

Rafe had been it for you for a long time. He seemed so out of your league and you had thought a million times that you would’ve done anything for him. He was the ideal for everything that you wanted and for a while, when you had it, had him, it had felt like a dream. But now you were waking up to reality and it wasn’t a sunset on the beach.  

“I love you.” He said it like it was something you were neglecting to remember.  

“Not enough.”  

#rafe fic #rafe imagine #rafe fanfic #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fanfic #outer banks fic #obx fic #obx fanfic #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #ts anthology series #collecting stories

[enjennie]

Take Care.

pairing: jaehyun x reader (x juyeon)

genre: angst. bestfriend!jaehyun and boyfriend!juyeon. one-sided love :[

word count: 1.4k

warnings: alcohol intake, cheating (i guess), kinda frustrating choices were made, not a happy ending for jh.

a/n: hi to any deobizens, sorry this wasn't that good but I had fun writing it :> enjoy!

The keys jingle in your hand as you twist its body into the keyhole, turning the doorknob once and successfully letting yourself into the tenth floor boys’ dorm. It was quiet, a rare thing to see in the usually chaos-filled house of the five boys.

On any other day, you would appreciate the quietness but today you came looking for it. The boys’ presence helped you forget any worries you had, and you wanted nothing but to spend the night with your best friends, preferably by drinking.

“Anybody home?” you called into the quiet house. It’s not long until you hear shuffling coming from the hallway, signifying signs of life before Jaehyun’s sleepy face comes into view. He squints at you in the dark, hair a mess with his pyjama set on.

“Y/N?” he finally recognizes you, eyes probably having adjusted to the dim room.

“Happy hearts day, Jae,” you give him a rather sad and unenergetic greeting as you kick your heels off to the side and close the door behind you.

The bottles of alcohol you bought from the nearby grocery mart found their place on the dining table along with a half-eaten take out cake you ordered from your favourite café.

Your favourite café which your boyfriend had just ditched you in.

“That’s a lot of soju,” your best friend comments, switching the kitchen lights on. “And aren’t you supposed to be with Juyeon?” he quizzically looks at your face.

It takes the boy at least a minute to catch on. “What? Again?”

You nod, beer already in hand and popping it open with the opener you found lying on the counter.

Jaehyun was grabbing his own bottle, and you toss him the opener. “What was the excuse this time?”

Taking a big gulp, you sigh when the bottle leaves your lips. “He’s got a schedule,”

Jaehyun’s face looked bitter as he pulled the bottle away from his mouth, gulping down a good amount of its content.

“Bullshit,”

A smile comes up to your lips at your best friend’s frank judgment. In the 7 years you’ve worked in SM, Jaehyun has been by your side the entire ride. From rookie days to debut, you and the rest of SR15B have been the closest of friends. They’ve watched you succeed, fail, enter and leave relationships and were there to celebrate or mourn with you.

“Jae, come on. He’s a great guy,” was your only defense.

You’ve been dating Juyeon of The Boyz for quite some time now. He was hot, charming and sweet. Everything you’d want in a man, and more. But maybe you didn’t cut it, because in the 8 months you’ve been seeing each other, he’s flaked on dates not just once but countless of times. Usually using excuses like schedule conflicts or practice and recordings.

This was getting way too repetitive already, even for you. The rest of the 127 boys have had enough of having you around after you’ve been snubbed by your boyfriend.

“Anyway, let’s forget it. I haven’t seen you in a while, and where are the others?” you crept around the living room, expecting to see its usual inhabitants Yuta or Mark watching TV. Empty, the living room was dark.

Jaehyun follows behind you and gets comfortable on the couch. “I’ve been filming for Dear.M, and they all went out for barbeque but I was too tired to go,” he replied. Jaehyun pats the spot beside him and you slip into his arms easily, cradling the bottle like a baby.

“That’s a pity, but I’m glad I caught you,” you expressed. He hums in agreement, pushing on the remote control button and watching the TV come to life. You've spent numerous nights like this, cuddling up to your best friend.

And yet, it's never led to anything. Feelings, or even kisses. Tonight, something felt different.

As if the universe hated you, your boyfriend’s face comes on the TV which has you choking on the drink that’s halfway down your throat.

Jaehyun pats your back to soothe the liquid down, before you settle back on the couch with him. “Well, at least he wasn’t lying,” you shrug. You couldn’t see it, but Jaehyun’s annoyance was evident on his face. The boy took a deep sigh, rolling his eyes.

"Y/N, that’s pre-recorded. We were at this event," he points at the TV screen. “Look, it doesn’t indicate that it’s live,”

You weren’t an idiot, you just hoped Jaehyun didn’t notice and would pity you less.

The truth was, you knew Juyeon simply didn’t want to spend time with you, so he’d stay at his members’ dorm... or someone else's place... to avoid your presence. Juyeon didn’t have the heart to dump you, especially since you’ve done nothing but give him love and support.

To make matters worse, you have 9 best friends at your aid who are the textbook definition of intimidating. Which was sometimes the reason why you found it hard to see other people. The 127 boys have always been so protective over you.

The ball was in your court, and it was your move. You knew that breaking up with Juyeon would be the only option, but you loved the boy so much it made it hard. Your heart ached. You didn’t want to think about it, after all you came here to forget.

“Y/N,” Jaehyun’s voice pulls you out of your deep thinking. You tilt your head up to look at the boy, and he meets your eyes.

“Hmm?” your eyebrows raise themselves in question. You weren’t listening to what he was saying anymore. Suddenly, his lips became the most interesting thing in the world.

The way it moved as he spoke, his words came in one ear and out the other. Jaehyun closes his mouth, realizing that you weren’t listening anymore. “I’m gonna kiss you,”

You snapped out of your train of thoughts, pulling away from him in panic. “What?” your voice had raised a tone higher. Jaehyun chuckled, bringing the bottle back up to his lips and taking a sip.

“Anyway, now that I have your attention back,” he says. You knit your eyebrows together, perplexed. It’s way too early to be saying such things, you’re both only on your first bottle of soju. But then again, Jaehyun was a bit more lightweight.

“I was saying… leave him,” Jaehyun states, eyes dilated and cheeks red. Yup, he was tipsy already.

You set aside your nearly empty drink, and take his from his hands. Or at least you try. He doesn’t let go, but instead pulls you by the wrist. You’re jolted close to his face and you let out a small gasp, heart racing.

“Jaehyun, give me the bottle,” you try to free yourself from his rather firm grip, which only causes the boy to pull you closer. “Y/N, I can treat you better,” his voice had dropped low, almost to a whisper.

At this point, you were pretty sure it was the alcohol talking. It wasn’t unusual for the boys to be saying careless things when under the influence, but Jaehyun was never this way. The words he was speaking didn't seem to be from drunken thoughts, but instead from his sober subconscious.

Your heart was beating out of your chest, going faster than it ever has on any workouts you’ve done. Only Jaehyun had this effect on you, and it was wrong on so many levels. Your eyes drift down to his lips, just as you’d done earlier.

Juyeon. The picture of your boyfriend appeared in your head, which made you jump up from your seat and out of Jaehyun’s grasp. This was getting all too much for you to handle, you’ve only had one bottle of Soju.

“You’re freaking me the fuck out, Jae,” you grab your bottle from where you’d placed it on the floor, frantically downing the rest of its content before heading to the kitchen to grab another. Jaehyun gets on his feet, taking you by the hand this time. Sparks. You face him, and he towers over you. “I’m sorry. Can I be selfish for once?” he asks, and you’re frozen in place.

Jaehyun answers his own question by dipping his head lower to meet your lips in a kiss. His lips are soft, and gentle against yours. It doesn’t take a second longer before you were moving your lips along with his, and the bottle had fallen from your hands and you've taken purchase of his shirt, using it as a leverage to keep you from falling. His kiss was intoxicating enough to have you stumbling back and losing your balance.

Juyeon.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach as your boyfriend comes to mind again. You push Jaehyun away from you, guilt immediately washing over you like a wave. He looks at you, hurt and sadness clear in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you run your hands through your hair in frustration. “I have to go,” you don’t spare Jaehyun another glance as you make your way back to the door, not bothering to go back for the cake or any of the alcohol you very badly wanted in your system.

The door closes shut behind you, leaving Jaehyun alone in the living room ironically enough listening to the song of the man you’d just left him for.

The next time you see Jaehyun is on Inkigayo. Coming to congratulate your boyfriend for their comeback’s first win, it felt like a slap to Jaehyun’s face seeing you there for someone else.

He’d left you a series of texts after that night, apologizing and asking to talk. All of which you ignored, as you wallowed in your own guilt at your own choice. Yes, he initiated the kiss but you kissed him back.

“Congratulations!” you wore your brightest smile, walking towards your boyfriend and his fellow members with a cake in hand after their stage. They all cheer and excitedly huddle around you to blow the single candle on the cake.

Since it was in the lobby, it was Jaehyun’s terrible luck that he had to catch sight of Juyeon’s arm coming around your waist and pulling you closer before planting a kiss on your cheek. Juyeon makes sure to let his eyes hover over Jaehyun as he did so. You told him everything the next day.

The rest of the people in the lobby cooed for the cute couple, while Jaehyun felt everything with a sting on his heart.

As your eyes wandered the crowd, your gaze lands upon your best friend. The one who taught you love, the one you would have chosen over anybody in the world. Time seemingly stopped, and it was at this moment that you saw Jaehyun give you the smallest of smiles.

If he makes you happy…

He turns to leave. Clearly, you’ve made your choice. And it wasn’t him.

I’ll let you go now.

#jaehyun #juyeon #nct #the boyz #nct 127 #jaehyun angst #juyeon fic #nct jaehyun #the boyz juyeon #jaehyun juyeon #nct 127 jaehyun #jaehyun au #jaehyun fic #jung jaehyun

[bungeenomin]

THE PLAYERS GAME- XIAOJUN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {57}

 Neither of you dare speak. Neither of you dare look at each other. It’s been a week since you’ve seen each other, Dejun not showing up to class all week, but today, he’s here. He’s going to present his project, the whole reason you started what you had. What will he say? Will he mention falling out? Will he mention all your happy memories?

Dejun looks a mess, like he hasn’t slept in days. Like he’s not been eating. Like he’s hurt. That hurts to see. Your Dejun like that.

You don’t know how you’re even going to approach him, if you’re even going to approach him. You didn’t want to, but that message has made you reconsider a lot. Will he even want to talk?

“Let’s see” you professor begins, scanning the room to look for the first person to present, “Dejun, you’re up. Come stand at the front and present”

Dejun’s eyes widen, not expecting to be first out of everyone. He nods his head, getting up from his seat and walking to the front, hands fidgeting.

“For this project, i was given a partner i had honestly never spoken to before. At first, i really didn’t want to do this project. It seemed like a lot of effort. But my partner was adamant that i help, which at the time, made me roll my eyes, but today, i couldn’t be more glad” Dejun begins.

“When we first met in that coffee shop, i gave her a hard time. I kept flirting for starters, but i made all sorts of fuss about the project, but no matter what i said, they didn’t give up pushing. She was determined to get me to do the project, which is something i admire about her so much to this day. Her determination. She see’s what she wants and goes for it. I love that. Although i was still being, well, an inconvenience, i found her so pretty. I really, really was shocked at how pretty she is” he smiles softly.

“Honestly, i was still difficult for a few days, but one night when we were talking, she made a comment that kinda hurt me. It was an assumption about me, which she said everyone had about me. Funny because this is what the project is all about, our assumptions of people. I guess hearing that made me want to prove that’s not who i am, that there’s more to me than what’s on the surface”

 “So we became friends. We started hanging out all the time and getting to know each other. I started thinking ‘hey, maybe she isn’t half bad?’” Dejun lightly chuckles. “We found out that all our best friends were dating each other, which was honestly really funny”

“As time went on, she became a person that i had to be around. I couldn’t be apart from here, be it meeting up, texting, facetiming, i just had to have her. I found so much comfort in her in such a quick space of time. This never happens. The only other person in my life that i feel completely comfortable with is my best friend Xuxi, and i was practically born with that kid. But my partner, by barely a month in, i felt like i could trust her with almost anything. I felt like i could be me around her, the real me. I could let my walls down”. Dejun briefly looks at you, but looks away in the blink of an eye, continuing. 

“I had never been in love before, never. I liked people sure, but i never loved someone. I never would run to someone in the middle of the night to comfort them, or constantly think about our future together, or what we’ll name our pets, or be willing to run to the edge of the earth and back for someone, but then i met her. I fell in love. I met someone who makes me feel whole. Who fills the missing piece of me, who balances me out. I found the person i’ve needed my whole life” 

Dejun wipes the corner of his eye, preventing the threatening tear from falling. 

“But something went wrong. A stupid grudge that wasn’t buried when it should have been came to life. Something i was completely in the wrong about, and something i have since apologised for. But that was only the cherry on top of the cake. The worst part was she saw a very awkward situation that looked like something it shouldn’t have. You know, it’s funny, when we first started talking, she told me she didn’t hate me, just strongly disliked me. But now, she has told me she hates me, and honestly, i deserve it. I deserve to be hated by her” 

“What i learned doing this project, is that your impression on people can change all the time. You can go from strongly disliking someone, to being able to tolerate someone, to loving someone and to hating someone. Although things didn’t work out, i’m always going to be grateful for this project, and i will always cherish the memories i made with my partner, my first love. Thank you”

The Dejun that just presented isn’t the Dejun people on campus see every day. It’s the real Dejun. Your Dejun. The Dejun who expresses his feelings. Who would give an arm and a leg for the people he cares about the most. Who is loving. Who’s lowered his walls. 

“Well done, thank you!” your professor smiles, as Dejun returns to his seat, a sad expression on his face.

Your mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour. You just want to cry and hug him. You just want to kiss his soft lips. You just want your Dejun.

A few more people present before you hear what you’ve been dreading. “Y/n, your turn”

You take a deep breath before moving to the front of the class. It’s now or never.

“The person i was paired with, initially, stressed me out. He had the biggest ego, the worst attitude and all he did was flirt. I wished i was paired with someone else” you begin.

“For the first while, he was really annoying. He didn’t want to help at all, he kept getting on my nerves. But before long, he grew on me. He started becoming less irritating, decided he wants to cooperate. We became friends. I really liked it” you smile

“I got to see a different side to this boy. I like to believe i helped him show this other side. The sweet side. The caring side. The real him. He helped me when i needed him. He comforted me. He did everything to make me happy when i was sad. He came to me in the middle of the night, just because he knew i needed him. He showed me his love, how much i mean to him”

“Before i knew it, i fell for him. So fast. I fell in love with him. The boy i couldn’t even think about in a calm manner just a month before. But i felt so free, so happy with him” you fist your hands tightly. You need to keep yourself together.

“But things went wrong. He did something that hurt me, and i heard of something he did to hurt someone close with me. I was so hurt. My heart felt like it was gonna break in half. It completely changed my opinion of him. It made the love be clouded with anger and hurt. But ironically, like this project is for, i made a judgment without knowing what was happening. I judged without giving a chance” you blind back the tears building in your eyes.

“I blamed him for everything. My mind told me everything was a lie. He never loved me. But someone came to me. The cause of the problem. They explained what really happened to me. That it wasn’t his fault, that he told her that he loves me, that i’m the only one for him. I could never hate him. Now, because of my judgement, i feel i’ve lost the person i love. My boy” a stray tear rolls down your cheek, and you let it.

“I want him to meet me at nine tonight, in our spot. If he wants to. This project gave me one of the best things in my life. I’m very appreciative of that. I’m always going to be appreciative of him too. I’m always gonna love him. The real him, not the boy i judged without knowing. Thank you”

By now, several tears fall down your face, but you couldn’t care less. You needed Dejun to hear it. You needed him to know you love him, that nothing could ever make you hate him. You need your Dejun.

——————————————————————

feel free to send me questions/opinions about the au!

main masterlist | previous | next

socialmedia!au xiaojun!au wayv!au nct!au

pairing: xiaojun X y/n

genre: college!au , fluff , angst

warnings: smut, oral, sex

summary: Hockey player!Xiaojun is the biggest player in UCS, both on and off the ice. He has a different girl practically every time you see him. But when y/n has to learn all about the player for a psychology project, will she just be another girl that’s dragged into his game?

taglist: @xiaojunsmintchocci @whoe-dis @yancupidxhyunjin @bvbyxuxi @ngayongabi @kswblueprint @kylomeyon @neocluefor @amymoonl @ta3ilmoon @thatonekpopsweater @captainasianllama @bubudays @glxwingstar @bby-kji9 @simplicitysbabe @skittlez-area512 @crybabybomin @this-is-the-bbc @xiaodejunfair @jeonlovers @junglewoos @absolutefantrash @yoongsicles @ksoolive @ajhdr @mxrcayong @kuntenwinluxiaohenyang @bubblywonu @markistheloveofmylife @llamajuns @queen-of-himbos @doyoungsarabbit @awksmark @notbeforelong @agustdiv1ne @alexameliamg

ask to be added!

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #wayv #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv drabbles #wayv timestamps #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct angst #nct timestamps #xiaojun au #nct au #wayv au #xiao dejun #xiaojun #huang xuxi #lucas wong #wong yukhei #hendery #qian kun #winwin #sicheng #dong sicheng #ten lee #yangyang #liu yangyang #johnny suh

[lilixloveswriting]

Oasis

Summary: Late, wet from the rain, and with all her friends back home in Inaba, the reader's first day at Shujin Academy was far less than ideal. Prepared to eat her lunch alone, she'd soon realize she wouldn't after to after being approached by the school punk. Ryuji Sakamoto x F!Reader (she wears a skirt, but that's really the only gendery thing going on)

Word Count: 1386

TW: swearing, ryuji says fuck, sad reader, angst with a happy ending

A/N: I wrote this at 2 am as a distraction after crying over kpop yet again. This is incredibly self-indulgent, but hopefully someone else can read it for the same reason. Enjoy!

You dropped your bag and sat down beside it, opening up your lunchbox and unwrapping your sandwich, staring at it emptily before breaking down into tears. Today was your first day at Shujin and, well, things weren’t going great. You’d gotten lost on the way; couldn’t seem to find the damn gate for the connecting train. By the time you did, you knew you were definitely going to be late for class. People weren’t nearly as friendly in the city as they were in Inaba, and nobody seemed to want to stop and help you. The same could be said for the actual students at your school, except instead of completely ignoring you, they were quick to pass judgment, snickering as you walked into the classroom sopping wet from the sudden rain, which you had sworn wasn’t in the forecast.

Your homeroom teacher didn’t take nicely to you being late and gave you a stern scolding, muttering something about always being stuck with the delinquents before leaving for his lunch. So here you were: wet, cold, and hungry, sobbing over your quickly sogging sandwich as you sat alone in a patch of poorly grown grass promptly turning into a puddle of mud as your tears mixed with the rain. You thought about maybe calling your mom, but dismissed the idea realizing she’d only tell you to suck it up, and that the first day was always the worst. Encourage you to try and make some friends...yeah, right. Even if the other students did seem friendly, they all seemed like gossip junkies and would probably turn on you to spread a new exciting rumor given the chance. You’d rather be alone than befriend people like that.

Despite this, you weren’t fooling anyone as the thought only made you cry harder. The tears fell faster as you realized the days at Junes and the floodplain were over, they’d fade into distant memories as your friends back home carried on with their lives, soon forgetting all about you. You never understood the hype about the big city. Sure, there were more things to do, but what was the point if there was no one to share it with? It was the very definition of being alone in a crowded room.

“Oh, fuck.”

You stalled your crying with a gasp, snapping your head up and looking around. You listened intently for footsteps or a voice, but couldn’t distinguish anything between your sniffles and rain pattering on the foliage. “Hello?” You hiccuped, more embarrassing sobs leaving your throat as you grimaced at how pitiful you sounded. “Anyone...is anyone there?” You fumbled to your knees, setting your uneaten sandwich down in your bento before leaning out from behind the wall you’d picked to shelter yourself.

“Uh…” The voice came again, and just as you rounded the corner out stepped a sheepish looking boy, gritting his teeth as his hand rubbed at the back of his blond head. You recognized him from your class. His features were kind of hard to forget, plus, he’d been the only one who didn’t give you a dirty or snarky look when you burst through the door. “Yeah, sorry. I...didn’t know anybody was over here.” He slouched, sticking his hands in his pockets as he pursed his lips, avoiding eye contact with you. Not that you could blame him, you were a mess. “Umm, are...you okay?”

You snorted. Did you look okay? You didn’t have a good answer for his stupid question, so you ignored it, instead asking one of your own. “Am I in your way?”

“Ah...nahh.” He shook his head kicking at the ground. “It’s cool, I was just gonna do some...stuff.”

You scrunched up one side of your face, eyes drifting from his face to the grass outside of your hiding spot. If you were judging just based on his hair, his posture, and the way he’d phrased that last sentence, you wouldn’t be able to think it was anything but drugs. But that was probably how everyone at this school thought, and you were different from them.

“N-nothin shady or anythin!” He said, raising his voice and taking an assertive step forward.

Yeah, no, never mind. It was definitely drugs. “Okay, well, sorry. I’ll get out of your way.” You wiped your face with your sleeve, kneeling back down to pack up your bag.

“Uh, no! I mean, you can stay. Uh…” He toed the ground some more, a frown on face. “It didn’t look like you were done with your food, so.”

You shook your head and cleared your throat with a sniffle. “I’m not that hungry.”

He somehow managed to slouch more as he watched you zip up your bag. “So, you’re new, huh?” He asked and you faltered, glancing up at him and brushing the raindrops off of your forehead.

“How’d you tell?” You scoffed, your own joke only making you feel more embarrassed.

He shrugged and you laughed a bit, shaking your head. “Pack an umbrella in your bag,” He said. “It’s saved my ass about a million times.”

“Oh,” You blinked up at him and nodded. “Thanks for the tip.”

“Uh-huh.” He said, then bent over, bracing his palm on the ground and he lowered himself onto the wet grass. “So, why are you eatin in the rain? There are covered spots you can eat, ya know?”

“And let everyone witness my breakdown? No thanks.” You laughed beside yourself, hands resting on top of your backpack.

“Heh,” He smiled, “Well sorry, you probably won’t gain any popularity points talkin to me.” He said, placing both of his hands in the grass and leaning back, lifting his head to look at the sky.

“Why not?” You watched him a moment before following his gaze. “You seem nice enough.”

He shook his head. “I’m trouble, haven’t you heard?” He glanced at you. “Thought teach woulda toldja.”

“Hmph,” You snickered, “Well by his standards, I’m pretty sure I’m trouble too.” You told him and felt some of your anxiety melt away when succeeding to make him chuckle. “Um, I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself quietly, still feeling a little shy, but this was the only person who had bothered to even offer up a conversation all day, and you were kind of starving for human interaction.

“Ryuji.” He said, and lifted his hand when he saw you’d outstretched yours, but faltered when it came off if the ground caked with grass and dirt. Ryuji apologized, rubbing away the muck carelessly onto his pants. “Eh, it’s not so bad here. I mean, it’s shit cuz it’s school, but it ain’t awful once you make some friends.”

You gazed at him and sighed, eyes rolling down to the floor. “Yeah…I’ve kinda been struggling with that part.”

The bell rang and Ryuji heaved a sigh, rolling his weight onto his left hand and pushing himself back to his feet. “Welp, if you don’t mind a few rumors, me and my friends are always lookin for more people!” He beamed, offering you a hand, which you gratefully took.

You brushed off your butt, sure your skirt was probably stained, but you didn’t care so much at this point. You needed to get out of these wet clothes anyway, you could probably just change into your gym uniform.

“Here you go.” You looked back up to see Ryuji shoving something at you eagerly, taking it into your hands to realize it was an umbrella.

“Oh, no.” You quickly shook your head, holding it back out for him to take, but of course he refused. “Please, I can’t take this-”

“Then just use it ‘till you get your own.” He said zipping his bag back up and readjusting it on his shoulder. “You’ll get sick if you don’t use one, and then how will you make friends?”

You snorted, breaking into the first true smile you’ve made since moving to Tokyo. “Thank you, Ryuji.”

“Uh-huh!” He nodded with a grin, then turned away and began walking back to the building. “You better hurry up, if you show up late to class with me you’ll be blacklisted.”

You giggled, jogging to catch up to your new friend. To you, being blacklisted with Ryuji definitely didn’t sound like the worst case scenario.

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #p5 #ryuji x reader #persona 5 fanfiction #skull persona 5 #my writing #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #persona 5 imagines #angst #persona 5 angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #angst and fluff #no beta we die like the persona 3 protagonist #lilixloveswriting

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The First 'I Love You'

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x stark!reader

Warning: None

Prompt: “Are you sure you love me?” “Who else could I love?”

Requested by: @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts

Summary- kinda goes without saying. Peter says his first 'I love you'.

---------------------------------------

May Parker always kept a watchful eye over her nephew's relationships.

Aside from the fact that it was to be protective, it was like a little game for her. Trying to catch and determine what parts of how Peter loved were like her or Ben or his parents or just himself.

He was always incredibly touchy, like Ben had been.

And he loved to give gifts. That was May's thing.

He was a bit overprotective. Ben.

And he definitely was the jealous type. May.

Pet names were the big one that tuned May in to start watching for more in the first place. The first time she ever heard Peter calling you 'sweetheart' over the phone, May almost spat out her water. 'Sweetheart' was one of Ben's favorites.

And yeah okay Peter definitely had way more of Ben's love traits than May's. But she didn't mind. Quite the opposite.

But there was only one thing that held potential to being a problem.

May had brushed it off before due to her nephew's persistent bashfulness at first. But it really did seem now that one of Ben's most prevalent habits was about to show itself inside Peter at any moment.

Ben was never one to be patient with something or someone that he truly, deeply cared about.

If he wanted something, no matter how hard he tried to give it time, it'd just thread on him until he had to do something about it.

Which was why he was the first to say 'I love you.' And thankfully, May was ready to say it back when he did.

And May desperately wanted it to be the same for Peter.

And she didn't want to be judgmental, but she knew you were a Stark. And everything came easily to Starks, except one thing.

She'd seen how you were on the first date with Peter. How intimidated he'd been. How much your guard was up all the time.

She'd known how long it finally took you to say yes to being his girlfriend. How many times he had to ask and get an 'I need to work on myself first' or an 'I really do like you, but I'm not ready yet.'

She saw how much it broke Peter's heart even though he tried to stay hopeful. And how ecstatic he was when you finally decided that you could say yes.

You'd made lots of progress since then, but even now, with how comfortable you were with him, you were still cautious. It was almost as if you expected to be hurt. That at some moment Peter would pull off a mask and show you a 'true self'.

Normally, she'd try to sneakily butt in and ease your worries, but she knew it wasn't her place. You'd have to find out on your own that Peter would never hurt you.

And she could see that Peter was reaching that point that Ben often would. When there was only one thing on his mind and it would dominate his thoughts and it was like he was a balloon all too ready to pop.

"Give her time, Pete," May said one day out of the blue, causing Peter's head to snap up. "I know what you've been thinking about lately, and I just wanna tell you to give her some time. Trust your instinct."

Her nephew smiled, amazed at how well she could read him. He nodded. "Okay."

And true to his word, he waited until he felt the time was right.

He was walking you home, a lovesick smile on his face as you ranted passionately about some stupid tv show.

Your eyes held so much joy and wonder. He just wanted that to go on forever.

When he was little, he always thought it was corny when his uncle Ben would sit him down and tell him about his first 'I love you' with May. But now, he understood. Because this was a feeling that everyone should want to feel.

"Guess it's time to go, Pete," you said. "Thanks for tonight-"

"-I love you."

He said it confidently the first time. So sure and so certain that he wanted you to hear it.

But when you hadn't caught what he said exactly and wanted him to repeat it, it all went away. What if it wasn't what you wanted to hear? What if you weren't ready to say it back?

He looked down at his shoes. "I-i, um.." Taking a deep breath, he looked back into your eyes and said it again. "I said I love you..."

You didn't say it back immediately, and that really threw him for a loop. Instead, you shifted and looked anywhere but to him.

"I-i mean, you don't have to s-say it back. That's totally fine," he rambled. "I-i just s-sorta wanted you..to-to know..."

"Are you sure you love me?," you said, your eyes becoming a bit glossy.

You'd never heard those words spoken like that before. You never thought that you ever would.

A little confused, Peter scrunched his eyebrows together but smiled. "Who else could I love?," he chuckled a bit. "I mean, I do love Ned, and Aunt May, and Mr. Stark, and MJ... but none of them this way.. not like this," he confirmed for you.

He'd never seen such uncertainty in your eyes before. You held yourself and started to back away a bit, cluing to him that he'd done something wrong.

Maybe you weren't ready to say it back he figured. Maybe you wouldn't be for a long time. But he knew right then and there, that he wanted nothing more than for you to be, and he'd wait forever for it to happen.

"Look, [Y/N]. I'm sorry," he began, tearing up a bit, but there was no way he was gonna be crying in front of you. "You probably don't-"

He was shut up when he felt your arms tightly wrapped around him.

"I love you too," you said back, fully crying tears of joy at this point. "I love you so much Peter!"

At that, he started to cry too. You actually said it back. This was perfect. You were perfect.

"Full warning," he said, pushing back so that he could see your entire tear stained, doey eyed, perfect face. "Now that I've got you, I'm never letting you go."

All you did in response was smile widely and pull him closer. It was a confirmation of what the two of you had done. And neither of you would ever forget it.

"You're so precious, baby," he softly whispered into your ear. "I'll love y-"

"Um, excuse me why is my daughter crying?," a rough voice broke in.

The two of you looked to the side to see your father at the door with his arms crossed. He looked to Peter's face. "Oh and you're crying too," he noted. "And you're both smiling- Oh my God you didn't ask to marry her did you?"

"Their vitals show that they are happy, Mr. Stark," F.R.I.D.A.Y. broke in. "If you would like, I can play back the last five mintues recorded from the door for you; starting with the words 'I love you'. That phrase seems to have started this ordeal."

You and Peter looked to each other before you both burst into laughter. "That little snitch," you said.

Your father rolled his eyes. "Alright continue your little.. thing," he said. Then he pointed to Peter. "But you're not allowed in her bedroom tonight, underoos. Too many emotions going around and I don't trust it. You two stay in the living room."

"Oh-uh," Peter scratched the back of his head. "I actually better be on my way home for dinner. Have a nice night, Mr. Stark." He looked to you and his blush deepened. "Bye sweetheart. Love you."

"Love you too," you responded, to which your dad made vomit sounds as he walked into the building.

-

That night, Peter literally skipped down the sidewalk all the way home, humming and having spontaneous bouts of laughter.

Walking into his home, he quickly yelled out.

"May! May c'mere!"

"What's up?," she yelled back. "Did the date go well? What happened? Oh my gosh are you crying?"

Peter shook his head slightly. "No no no no I'm just...so happy right now!"

He ran to hug her, smiling brightly.

"She said it May... I told her and she said it back."

-

You walked into the game room after having a squealing fit in your room.

You walked in and was immediately met with... applause?

The entire team was sitting there looking at you and there was a cake... what?

You couldn't hear everyone because they were speaking all at once. It wasn't until you were patted on the shoulder and turned to see Rhodey standing there. "Hey kid..make sure you two have a condom when you finally...do it."

Your face scrunched up. "What?!"

"Yeah, Tony showed us the footage," Bruce said, appearing on the other side of you.

"He- what?!"

Bucky laughed, taking a big cut out of the cake. "Peter probably would've snuck into the bedroom with you too, if Tony hadn't cockblocked you. But yeah we threw you a little love party."

You blushed profusely as Sam swung an arm around you. "Hey Steve! That was a language word!"

Steve rolled his eyes and then looked to you. "Congrats [Y/N]."

"Okay, this is officially weird and I'm going to bed."

"Okay but check the room for any spiders first!," Rhodes yelled out, earning a middle finger as you walked away.

When you made it to your room, you threw yourself onto the bed with a sigh.

"He loves me...he actually loves me."

#peter parker fluff #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker imagine #spiderman x you #spiderman mcu #spiderman fic #spiderman x reader #spiderman #marvel x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel

[silence-burns]

Please Hate Me //part 26

Fandom: Marvel 

Summary:  Based on “Imagine having a love/hate relationship with Loki.” by

@thefandomimagine​

The air coming through the cracks in the windows was chilly and bore the inevitability of an upcoming evening. The sun was quick to disappear during winter, which, in Loki's unhumble opinion, was a blessing. It was the velvety darkness that allowed the snow to truly stand out. 

Loki and you gazed at it for some time, having found an empty apartment on the other side of the street from the place Peter had led you. It must've been recently abandoned, for the dirt on the floor was rather thin, and the humidity from the cracks hadn’t molded the walls yet.

The lights were out though, and so was the heating, which didn't affect Loki much, but made it harder for you to move your gloved fingers with every passing hour. You claimed to be fine, and could stay for a little bit longer, but Loki kept a keen eye on you, and especially on the shivering parts. After all, sensing a lie was not so far away from sensing an avoidance of truth. 

Unbothered, as usual, by any of his moral dilemmas, you were focused on a thick pile of photos capturing every one of the victories that filled your bellies today. 

"I think that one is the cutest." You raised one of them for Loki to see. 

He snorted, remembering the drama involved in you dropping to one knee and his perfectly controlled act of staging a surprise. The photo had a perfect shot of both your faces, and a waitress's in the background. She gave you bonus cookies after the cake. You liked her. 

"How little you need for happiness…" 

"It's not like you weren't there too. I've got evidence." You flashed the photos. 

"I can recall it just as well without those," he muttered, rubbing his overfilled stomach. 

He had to sit on a rather uncomfortable chair, the only one left in the apartment. It was bare for the most part, with only a few boxes of trash left. Whoever vacated it, wasn't keen on returning. The huge poster plastered to one of the windows suggested so too, unless the phrase "FOR SALE" held a different meaning in this world. 

You looked at the street several floors down, and at the people disappearing at one end of it. 

"Peter found a really nice place for a lookout," you said. 

Loki looked around, unsure if you were having the same thing in mind. "I'm afraid I'd prefer literally anywhere else. I'm not suited for ratholes." 

You were greatly disturbed by his misfortune. So much that your heart almost ached. Almost. 

A soft knock echoed from the door. A sigh escaped your lips. 

"I guess we can't ignore her…" you whined. 

"Be quiet, maybe she'll think we're not there anymore." 

"She’s monitoring this whole area. We can't fool her…" 

Loki's stomach made it very clear that it was not happy with the turn of events. Loki agreed. "Then be quick about it." 

"Me? I did it last time, it’s your turn." 

Loki grumbled in a language you'd never heard, but the meaning was quite clear. He moved to the door and straightened his clothes. 

The little Romanian lady had huge glasses constantly sliding down her nose. In her hands, the plate with two sandwiches looked huge and heavy and ready to fall on the floor. 

She broke into a smile that cracked already deep wrinkles on her face. The glasses slid a little bit further. Loki, involuntarily deciding what to catch first, smiled politely. He was not sure what precisely the lady was capable of seeing through the thick glasses, but it must've pleased her. 

"What a handsome young man," she cooed, slipping the plate into his hands. Her head reached only to his chest, but she managed to pinch his cheek affectionately. "But look at how pale you are! You must eat more, dove, it's important to remember about eating!" 

"Thank you so much for your kindness," Loki's words were muffled through the hand still wandering around his face. "But I can assure you, there is no need to worry about my—" 

"Oh, but someone has to!" The little lady stroked his hair in a manner suspiciously reminding him of cat owner's. "There is so little good in this world." 

Only once Loki came back to the room, properly patted and improperly pinched, you allowed yourself a laugh. "What a handsome young man…"

"Shut it." 

He massaged his bright red cheek, wondering if it would ever get back to its normal color. With lack of any furniture, he was left with no choice but to place the plate on his knees. An identical, only empty, plate was already put on the floor. 

"I hoped it'd end on fruit," he admitted. 

"Me too. I guess she's used to Peter consuming in seconds whatever she brings him, since you know, he's a handsome young man too, and always starving…" 

"Shut it." 

Loki focused on appearing busy, which wasn't easy. After all, it was an empty apartment. 

People on the other side of the street were walking in and out from the suspicious place, but not much seemed to happen. Loki was not sure what exactly Peter had in mind when requesting their help, but at this point it was a little too late to ask. 

You—which shocked Loki greatly—seemed to be of the same opinion. 

"I'm pretty sure it's just a nightclub," you muttered with your chin resting on your hands. "I mean, what's the worst that can be happening there? Some drugs?" 

"You sound like it's a common thing." 

"I wouldn't say it's common, but it wouldn't surprise me. I just hoped there would be… something worse." 

As unbelievable as it was, Loki was forced to admit, "So did I." 

You pulled a dramatic face. "Who would've thought our handsome young man wished to fight organized crime on this lovely day!" 

"What else is there to do?" He shrugged with all the dignified grace that'd been beaten into him in one of his most hated classes. "Steal some more cake? Earth is so boring when no one's invading it." 

"If you're so bored, we could pay this lovely place a visit after all." 

Loki blinked. "As touched as I am by your concern, I can assure you that if I ever feel the need to wander through such an establishment, I'd feel much more comfortable on my own." 

"You're no fun. I meant we could infiltrate it from the inside, see what's actually brewing there. Maybe we could make someone's day harder, see where it takes us." 

"I am by no means a fortune teller, but I can already say it won't be anywhere pleasant." 

You shrugged in the precise manner that always got on his nerves. "That's kinda the point, right?" 

It was, in fact, the point. 

"I'm not sure we could just go there from the street and be allowed in," he had to notice, though. 

"That's why we use my magic hands, and get some invitations." You nodded toward the people coming out of what you suspected to be a back entrance. 

"Since when is magic your domain?" 

"Unless your sparkles get us inside, I'm afraid it'll have to be." 

You sounded as if the plan was already formed, approved, and ready to use. It would be a lovely thing to believe, but Loki found his faith lacking. 

"My face might be concealed," he noted, trying his hardest not to focus on the disgustingly wet feeling of unfamiliar magic sticking to his features thanks to a certain new target on his vengeance list. "But I'm pretty sure yours might be a little too recognizable because of all your meddling with the so-called heroes." 

It earned him a pained grimace. He'd seen his fair share of your grimaces already, but not that one. 

"I don't really go on the frontlines," you forced out the words. "At least, not officially. If I have to, I wear a mask to protect my identity. There are some… former acquaintances that I'd rather not inform of my existence." 

"So that's why you were able to pull off so many proposals," Loki nodded, a puzzle finally finding its place inside his head. 

"For you, my handsome young man, I'd double the number," you assured him. "But I suggest we focus on what's at hand right now. If we can snatch invitations today, we have tomorrow to prepare for the show." 

That sounded way too reasonable to come out of your mouth, but there was not much choice left for Loki. He looked out again, noting that the amount of people 'accidentally' wandering around the dead end of the street had risen as the evening neared. 

"I'm sure I can snatch one first." Loki recalled his childhood and the many attempts to fill his pockets with a multitude of shiny objects that were surely underappreciated by their previous owners. 

"Is that a bet?" 

"Against my better judgment, I'm going to say yes." 

"Deal. Try not to get caught, though, or your handsome young face might lose some of its charm." 

#Please Hate Me #loki x reader #loki x you #loki/reader #loki/you #loki #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #loki laufeyson x you #Loki Laufeyson/Reader #loki laufeyson/you

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

[miss-tc-nova]

Unwarranted or Not - Roxas x Fem!Reader x Ventus Pt 2

Yes, I have a terrible habit of naming fics after songs...because it’s the songs that inspire me. 

Part 2: Just So You Know

Ven’s POV

                I watch as they walk away, or rather, as he pulls her away even though she’s protesting. It’s not like I can do anything; I’m not her boyfriend.

                “What’s his problem?” Kairi asks, followed by Xion and Riku.

                “He’s annoyed she was ignoring him,” hums Xion. “He couldn’t even focus on the game ‘cause he was busy glaring at her.”

                Swallowing the lump in my throat, I glance back at the shack in which the pair disappeared. It wasn’t her he was glaring at.

                Roxas had introduced his girlfriend to us some time ago. Unlike him, she was quick to warm up to us, or perhaps it was just me that Roxas had a problem with—not that this helps. Anyway, I don’t know what it was, but the moment her eyes set on me and she gave me a dazzling, genuine smile, I was star struck. I quickly stuffed that thought in the furthest corner of my mind; tried to treat her like a new friend, just like everyone else. That quickly turned on its head when I met her a second time. I’m such a klutz and a desperate disaster that I don’t know how she hasn’t picked up on my feelings; or maybe she has and has just elected to ignore them. My gaze kept drifting, followed by my thoughts and they were definitely thoughts I shouldn’t be having. I found myself wondering just how soft her hands are, imagining what her hair smells like, wanting to know what her lips taste like. At first, I mentally scolded myself for thinking those things; she was Roxas’s girl for goodness sake. He’s a friend and I shouldn’t be pining after his girlfriend. But after a while, I couldn’t even deny myself those thoughts and let the fantasies play out. And my heart always aches afterwards because I know I can’t get between them.

                “Ven. Ventus, can you hear me?” Snapping from my thoughts, I look up at Kairi. Her red brows knit together. “You okay?”

                I put on a smile. “Yeah. Just spacin’ out.”

                It works and she rolls her eyes. “You’re just as bad as Sora.”

                “Pretty sure I started it,” I laugh, jamming a thumb against my chest.

                Her hands meet her hips. “I don’t know who’s a worse influence on who.”

                Riku folds his arms. “That would be Sora.”

                “I did what now?” The brunette approaches and takes over the conversation as his best friends pick on him.

                While they bicker on without me, I notice my bag and the white corner poking out of one of the pockets. Just looking at it makes my stomach clench. It’s the product of too many pent-up emotions and a little too much free time.

                Why did I even write that? Why did I bring it? I can’t give that to her.

                Before I can run in psychotic, mental circles, the couple returns, fingers interlaced. There’s a fading blush on both their faces and they both seem considerably lighter than when they had left.

                It feels as if something has its claws in my heart. Her blush is a bit deeper than Roxas’s, highlighting the deep purple mark hardly hidden by her shirt.

                I drown out the others teasing them, an overwhelming desire to blurt out everything bubbling in my chest. Before I explode, I stand and make my way down the beach to get a little breathing space away from the others with the bag in hand.

                Once I’ve put some distance between me and the others, I pull the envelope from my bag. I hate thinking I put so much effort, time, and emotion into such an awful thing. Part of me wants to crumple it up and throw it into the ocean where I hope it drowns along with my feelings, but another part of me clings to the desperation written inside.

                “Hey, wha’chu doin?”

                Panicking and frantically stuffing the paper in my pocket, I look back to find her standing there. “Wh-What?!”

                Gods, her laugh could make me cry. “I asked what are you doing? You kinda just wandered off.”

                “Oh, um, I was just looking for seashells.”

                There’s no way she believes that, but even if she doesn’t, she doesn’t pry. “Seashells huh? Well Xion’s the best shell-hunter around. I bet she’d love to help.”

                “Heh, yeah, you’re probably right.”

                My breath catches in my throat when both her hands take mine. “C’mon. Let’s ask her. The others are gonna do cake and gifts soon anyway.”

                I’m too focused on her touch to really mind being dragged back to the people I’d just walked away from. Unlike the wielders, her hands are soft; unmarred by the calluses of fighting. Her touch is so warm, and it might be my imagination, but I swear that warmth is consuming me.

                As she had surely said, we sing happy birthday to the birthday girl and she opens presents. But the party begins to die out after that. People begin packing up to head out. And, as I watch her help collect Xion’s things, I begin to feel the weight of the paper in my pocket.

                In a strange swell of confidence, I head for the girl. “Hey, ______.”

                Her sparkling eyes make my heart skip. “What’s up?”

                I hesitate, reconsidering my actions. I don’t really have the right to do this, to potentially destroy someone else’s relationship. She’s happy now, with him, and Roxas is such an honest person so I know he loves her. What right do I have to jeopardize that?

                “Ventus.” Her hand waves across my vision, pulling me back to her. Another one of her beautiful smiles takes over her lips and, in a terrible lapse of judgment, that’s all it takes.

                I push the envelope into her hands. “That’s for you; when you get home.” I tell her.

                She flips the paper over in her hands. “What is it?”

                “Just-…Wait until you get home,” I press. “Please.”

                “Okay.” The envelope disappears into her purse. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You don’t look so hot.”

                I scratch at the back of my head, hoping I could fool her with the same smile I gave Kairi and the others. “Yeah. Just a bit of a headache.”

                “You should get some water and relax before you travel.”

                “Yeah. I’ll try.”

                “_____.” Over her shoulder, I can see her boyfriend and the other Twilight Town people. “We gotta go.”

                “Kay!” That smile, as I have now learned, can destroy my willpower with ease; I can only guess what I would destroy for a kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

                “Yeah. See you next time.”

                With a bitter taste in my mouth, I watch her walk away. Roxas ushers her ahead of him and the group begins to leave. However, the blonde pauses and my blood runs cold. We’ve never been on best friend terms, barely friend terms to be honest thanks to the mutual friends we did share, but I’d never seen a look so dark and cold from Roxas. She may not know yet that I have feelings for her, but he does.

                What have I done?

#roxas #kh3 roxas #kh roxas #roxas x reader #roxas x oc #ven #ventus #kh3 ven #kh3 ventus #kh ven #kh ventus #ven x reader #ventus x reader #fem!reader

[ciestessde]

Don’t Call Me!

When a wannabe fighter-for-justice is injured and needs to escape, she's forced to go to an enemy mercenary for help.

A young woman in combat gear forced her way through the last few trees blocking her destination. She stumbled up the steps to the door of the cabin, but before she could knock -- someone opened it.

Isabelle, expecting to find one of the nearby villagers trespassing on her land again -- lowered her gun when she saw the woman. She was short and skinny, caked in dirt and snow, curly black hair hanging like a spiderweb in front of a sun-scorched face, and bleeding from gunshot wounds. The woman was doubled-over, gripping her side -- likely trying to fend off the worst of the bleeding from the wound there.

Isabelle opened her mouth to speak, but -- “Didn’t know where else to go…” -- the woman collapsed before she could even figure out what to say.

The woman woke up lying on a couch in the most pristine cabin she’d ever seen. Her wounds were treated and bandaged, and she could smell… something cooking. Even in her hunger, whatever-it-was still managed to avoid triggering her appetite. … Probably not a good sign.

Turning her head slightly, she noticed that the woman with the gun -- ‘The owner of the cabin?’ -- was stirring something on the stovetop on the other side of the large, sparse room. There were a few (hideous neon-green) rugs warming the hardwood floor, and some lifting weights were near the back of the cabin next to a couple of doors; her removed weapons rested on a side-table behind her head; the front door was beyond her feet, the shotgun leaning on the wall beside it, and… that was it. ‘Not even a fireplace…? Or some pictures on the walls?’

A voice, rough with the effect of too many cigarettes, asked, “How’d you find this place?”

The owner(?) had turned away from her cooking. She was quite a large woman: over six feet tall and entirely muscle, with a rather unflattering, bleach blonde mohawk, and wearing a loose, flower-print shirt.

The injured woman responded humorously, “As if I could forget that flag.”

Isabelle’s eyes widened in surprise -- then a look of understanding. “Oooh…! You’ve fought my group before, haven’t you?!”

The injured woman’s face turned grave at the memory. “Thankfully, our employers called a truce --” “Oh yeah!” she broke out in a large smile, “A damn shame. I always hate unfinished battles!”

“… ” The injured woman stared at her; not quite glaring, but clearly troubled. “Your name was… ‘Brigham.’ Wasn’t it.” Isabelle grinned. “Wow. I’m kinda flattered you remember my name.” “Don’t know why. Just stuck in there for some reason.”

Then she smirked, resting her head back on the armrest and closing her eyes. “Probably because of that stupid flag of your’s, ‘Oinky.’” “Gh-!” Isabelle’s grin fell. “And might I ask your name?” “Trishna.” “Alright, ‘Twig.’ Why’d you come here?” Isabelle turned back to the stovetop. “Is that supposed to be an insult on how skinny I am?” Isabelle didn’t respond.

“… ” So Trishna explained: As part of a group of private military contractors, she had signed up to protect what was described as a “new settlement in undeveloped lands.” She didn’t realize the truth until they arrived, and her teammates turned on her when she tried to leave. The villagers also, understandably, attacked her as she was escaping.

“So when I saw your goofy flag --” Isabelle spun around. “Will you stop calling it that?!” “What? It is,” Trishna goaded, opening her eyes to look at her. Isabelle looked ready for a fight. “The Boar is a strong, terrifying animal! It’s a symbol of courage and ferocity!” “That flag has a cartoon pig on it, Oinky.” “IT’S A BOAR!” Trishna smirked, “And the background is neon green because…?”

Isabelle spun back toward the pot before Trishna could see her blush. “Green is my favorite color. Do I need a better reason, ya damn twig?!” Trishna shrugged as best she could, “I guess not. Anyway, I saw your flag above the trees and figured I had a better chance of survival with an enemy mercenary than an angry mob.”

There was silence for a moment, then, “If it was me, I’d have slaughtered them.” It wasn’t said judgmentally. Nor without feeling -- but with pure relish.

Trishna stared at her back. “… You make me sick.”

She realized why she’d remembered this woman now. Back when their groups fought each other, “Brigham” had to be forced to stand down by her teammates. Even after the truce had been announced -- she’d kept firing. Eventually they’d managed to stop her.

But it was like she hadn’t even heard the order… … because she was enjoying herself too much.

Trishna was snapped out of her memories by a bowl being placed in front of her. Isabelle helped her up to lean against the armrest. “Eat up, Twig.”

In the bowl, Trishna could recognize some type of fish, broccoli, and mushrooms -- among several things she couldn’t recognize -- that seemed to have been made into some kind of stew. “… I’m not eating this-” “-Then I guess you’re not eating.” “… ” Reluctantly, she picked up the spoon. It didn’t taste as bad as she thought it would.

“Why help me?” Isabelle sat down on the fluffiest of the (hideous neon-green) rugs, one of the smaller weights in hand. “Easy. I’m not on a job, so you’re not my enemy.”

One woman would take a bite, the other lift her weight.

“Why are you all the way out here, anyway?” Bite, chew. “I’m allowed to take vacation, aren’t I?” Lower, lift, lower. “You don’t have family to spend it with?” Bite, chew. “Sure I do.” Lift, lower. “I spent the holidays with them.” Lift, lower. “I wanted some time to myself.” Lift, lower.

Lift, lower, lift-- pause.

Trishna stopped eating as well. She thought she heard a metallic sound coming from outside.

“Speaking of which…” Isabelle set down her weight, stood with a grunt -- and picked up the shotgun next to the door. Struggling to raise herself further off the couch, Trishna called, “Don’t kill the- !” “-They’re trespassing!”

Brigham slammed the door behind her.

With her wounds, the best Trishna could reasonably do was grab her handgun from behind her -- and listen carefully to the sounds from outside. Gunshots, some yelling and screaming… All faint and coming from the same direction.

They eventually stopped, and Isabelle returned -- far too happy for having just killed so many people. “Can’t stay here anymore.” She discarded the shotgun and walked straight toward Trishna, lifting her up bridal-style. “GAH!” “Sorry. Didn’t want to move you until you were a bit better healed -- but we can’t wait now. I’m taking you to the city.” Isabelle used her foot to pull the door fully open again. “You’re on your own from there.”

Grimacing, her vision darkening, Trishna bit out, “Don’t wanna -- owe you. But -- … thanks, Oinky.” “Don’t CALL me--!” When Isabelle looked down, Trishna had already passed out.

“… Stupid Twig.”

~~~~~

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AO3 version

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OSWs Master List

{This is part of my “OneShot Wednesday” project - I’m trying to write a one-shot every week that other people have requested! Original Requests one week, and Fanfic Requests the next.

You can vote for the next OSW here until Aug. 21, or find the current poll on my Tumblr, Twitter, or Website!

While I will try to keep track of all the requests I receive regardless of how they’re sent, you should send Fanfic Requests through the pinned tweet on my Twitter, and Original Requests through either my email ([email protected]) or my Patreon (if you’re a patron) if you want to make sure I see them.

Just about everything goes -- I’ll tell you if there’s a problem. But if you want to know more about how they work, you can read about Original OSWs here, and Fanfic OSWs here.

So please send me ALL the ideas!!! I will make sure to recognize whoever’s idea/request it was in the work – just ask if you want to remain anonymous.}

#oneshotwednesday #original writing #original stories #angst and humor #light angst

[majoringinsarcasm]

SCREAMS

AU where Pidge works at her family’s Italian restaurant and this dude always orders fucking garlic knots whenever he comes in no matter who he’s with, but Pidge is like sweet cause she makes the knots and she experiments with different stuff and she always asks Matt to ask Garlic Boy what he thinks of them.

And Lance works at Hunk’s family bakery and he hears stories about how this one person (“They’re always in a hoodie and I wasn’t raised to assume gender based on voice pitch”—Hunk) always buys peanut butter cookies and compliments them and Lance is all happy cause he’s recently started baking the peanut butter cookies.

And eventually they start doing special things for their Regulars. Pidge shapes the knots differently, hearts and stars and one big batch as X’s and O’s with a note like “play with your table, tell Matt who won”.

And Lance gets custom cookie cutters, aliens and mermaids and spaceships. He makes super tiny ones and writes “Ita not a guilty pleasure if they’re bite sized”

And it’s just like passing notes and food for a l o n g time. Maybe they exchange numbers via Hunk and Matt (“Katie just come out and see him” “I’m cooking go away”)

(“Next time they come in I’ll tell you so you can say hi!” “And let them see me covered in flour are you crazy??”)

So against their better judgment Hunk and Matt play messenger and then Pidge and Lance are texting 24/7. It startswith food but quickly evolves to other stuff and the MOST ridiculous thing is that

Lance, in the restaurant: I’m at table three! Are these new lights?

Pidge: Yeah! Dad made them last week.

And

Pidge: I told Hunk I wanted a seven tier birthday cake for my friend’s dog’s birthday and he almost cried

Lance: omg is that why he came in the back looking like someone ate the last poptart??

Ironicalky they meet at a grocery store. They both need ingredients but it’s a busy day and only one good shopping cart is left. They have a stare down, but Lance is a gentleman so he offers the cart. And Pidge is full of spite and pride so she offers it back. But it looks like someone else might take it so they decide to share. They talk, find out they have a lot in common. Lance has a bunch of baking stuff and Pidge gets stuff for the restaurant. Lance sees Garlic and thinks of his Cookie Crush. Pidge sees peanut butter and thinks of Garlic Boy. They go to the check out, Pidge in front, Lance behind the cart. And the WOEST PART IS

Lance: Tfw you have to share a shopping cart

Pidge: omg me too! It’s not so bad tho. They seem nice. Kinda chatty but it’s cool

Lance: ohhh do I have competition? I’ll have you know my cart buddy is very smart and pretty cute

Pidge: are you trying to make me jealous

Lance: idk is it working :3

Just. A series of missed connections so ridiculous yet endearing.

#plance #im gonna scream i need this #i need to write this

[a-shout-to-the-void]

Take You For a Ride

To say she was stressed would have been the understatement of the century. Her hands were well-wrung, worry long ago occupying her fingers, and the inside of her lip had been thoroughly nawed, the skin tender from hours of mindless chewing. She had risen with the sun that day to clean, scrubbing the floors of her grandmother’s house with fervor. Often, the cleaning settled her nerves, but unfortunately she found herself worrying her way through the process.

As the morning pressed on, her family had risen to join her, one by one, like the trickle of a faucet. First her mother, early riser that she was, had silently joined her in the kitchen, shuffling clean glasses from the dishwasher to their designated space in cabinets. When rays of sunlight crept across the kitchen tile, her grandfather appeared, preparing the coffeepot with practiced ease, his face inscrutable.

One by one they crept out of their bedrooms, some still in their pajamas, yawning and rubbing their eyes and grumbling about the racket.

Finally, her father appeared. He wore the frown that had been plastered to his face for the last seven days. The frown that had grown when she told her parents about her boyfriend.

“Who is this man, exactly?” Her father demanded. She was reminded, briefly, of her high school days, when her father had insisted on meeting her intended prom date weeks in advance.

“His name is Sirius Oswald,” she said carefully, gauging his reaction. Wordlessly, he whipped out his phone, tapping away intently. A scowl began to grow, falling easily into his creased forehead as he swiped across the screen.

He turned the phone toward her, holding up a photo that she recognized from Facebook. “This him?” She nodded silently. “And you plan on bringing this man here for your grandmother’s birthday party?” He scoffed.

The photo in question showed Sirius sitting sideways on his motorcycle, clad in a thick leather jacket and sturdy boots, a confident smirk playing over his lips. His piercings were easily visible, as was his violet bandana, tied carelessly around his neck. She would never tell her father, but it was one of her favorite photos of Sirius, and she’d been the one to take it some months ago, not terribly long after they’d started dating.

“Yes, I do.”

The conversation with her father had haunted her all week, and as word spread through her family that she was bringing home some sort of “lowlife, biker kinda guy,” as her uncle had so succinctly phrased it, she’d grown more and more anxious. The barrage of questions certainly hadn’t helped either.

“So, is he like a biker biker?”

“He’s like those guys on Sons of Anarchy, right? Like one of those wild, crazy guys?”

“Doesn’t he know how dangerous that is?”

“You’ve never been on that thing, right?”

And on it went. By Thursday, she’d forbidden any more questions about him, at one point snapping rather hotly at her cousin. “I don’t know, Becca, and frankly, I don't care. If you want to know so badly, you can ask him on Saturday!” The whole family discussed it openly, but refrained from pestering her with further questions after that.

“What time is Sirius getting here again, honey?” Her mother asked her across the cake they were decorating. She glanced at the clock; it read 3:45 pm. Sirius had told her he would arrive at 4 pm on the dot, and he’d never been late before.

“Soon,” she said, carefully icing another small flower. “He’s very punctual.” Even without looking, she could feel her mother watching her, and she sighed. “If you have something to say, go ahead and say it. Better now than after he’s here.”

Her mother’s voice was hesitant as she responded. “Your father is just… concerned about you, sweetheart. You’ve always done so well for yourself, and he just wants to make sure you’re… well--”

“Make sure I’m what, exactly?” She snapped, raising her eyes from the cake. “What does Dad think could possibly be a problem here? He doesn’t even know him.”

“Well you have to understand, your father has known his fair share of bikers in his time, and--”

“Well he doesn’t know this one,” she retorted, all her stress and worry from the preceding seven days coming to a head. “And you guys better not be this judgmental when he gets here, which is in…” A glance at the clock told her it was 3:50 pm now. “Ten minutes! Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She stalked off toward the room she was staying in, fuming silently all the way.

Her phone buzzed precisely at 4 o’clock, and she smoothed her skirt once before she darted out of the house. Sirius stood next to his bike, leather jacket wrapped snugly around him, grinning from ear to ear. “Sirius!” she squealed, launching herself the final few feet into his arms. He caught her easily, his large frame absorbing the shock without so much as bending.

“Hey, little lady,” he said cheekily, taking a quick glance back at the house before pressing a chaste kiss to her temple. “Long time, no see.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, stop, it’s only been a week!”

“So you mean you didn’t need to launch yourself at me like that?”

“Oh my god,” she laughed. The weight of the last week, all the stress and nerves and worry, lifted from her shoulders. Sirius always seemed to make things so easy.

“Hey, do me a favor and grab some of the containers I have in the saddlebags?” He asked her, gesturing at the large shells on the back of the bike. Curious, she opened one, to find a stack of boxes inside.

“What are these…?”

Sirius only smiled. “You’ll see when we get inside. I promise it’s good.”

Her father was as skeptical as she had expected, but Sirius managed it easily, shaking his hand and calling him “Sir,” exclusively. When asked how old he was, he replied, “Thirty,” easily, though he flinched when one of the cousins called out, “Oh, so you’re old?”

“I’m only thirty…” he said softly, shaking his head with quiet exasperation.

“What’s in the boxes?” Her father asked, his frown softening slightly.

“Oh! Yes, one second,” Sirius exclaimed, popping one of the boxes open. Inside were miniature bouquets, bursting with fragile blooms, each one carefully bound together with garden twine. “I thought everyone might like some flowers.”

The entire room was stunned into silence as the towering, leather clad man gently lifted the flowers from the box, passing the first bouquet to his girlfriend’s grandmother. “For the birthday girl,” he explained. On he went, next to her mother, then her aunts, her cousins, her grandfather, even her father, each marveling in quiet amazement at their little bouquet, and how it was unique from the others. Finally, he presented a rainbow of small roses to her, and she could only blush in response.

“Where did you find these?” Her mother wondered, turning the bouquet over in her hands. “I’d love to buy some to give to my coworkers.”

“Oh, these are from my garden!” He said brightly. “So you can’t buy them, but you’re welcome to pillage the flowerbeds anytime.”

The temperature of the room seemed to raise ten degrees as her mother beamed up at him, replying, “I just might take you up on that.”

The evening passed easily after his introduction, Sirius talking comfortably with every member of her family, as though he’d met them a hundred times before. He helped with everything, from the dish washing to the cake cutting. Finally, the whole family settled in the living room as her grandmother opened cards.

“They’re a lot nicer than I thought they’d be, with everything you told me,” he whispered to her as they sat together on the couch, the family chattering loudly around them.

“Yeah, well, you weren’t fielding some of the most ridiculous questions,” she muttered back.

“Aww,” he laughed, drawing her against his chest. “Maybe I should give you a ride later, alleviate some of that stress.”

She looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. “But you only have one helmet today.”

His eyes glittered, and he leaned down to press his lips right against the shell of her ear. “That’s not the kind of ride I meant.”

#sirius oswald #ikerev #ikemen revolution #ikerev sirius #biker au #angst #fluff #a small little bit from a while ago

[honeycoloredcorduroy]

Cakes and Ties - Part 5

Title: Cakes and Ties

Summary: “Logan Sanders is a divorce lawyer given the task of being his twin brother Roman's best man for his wedding. He doesn't care for the endeavor much, although Roman's fiance, Virgil, seems kind enough. Everything is going smoothly until he meets the peppy, sweet-as-can-be cake baker Patton given the task of being Virgil's best man. He's adorable, irresistible, and excites Logan in a way that he hasn't felt since the accident.”

Ships: Romantic Logicality, Romantic Prinxiety

Word Count: 1863

Warnings:  Warnings: Minor character death, mild alcohol consumption, swearing, food, divorce

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

One Week Before the Wedding

I was out with Roman, Virgil, and Patton to pick up Roman and Virgil's tuxes, and to add some last-minute adjustments. Since I was Roman's best man, I had to organize just about everything. The seating, the venue, the music. All the jobs that Roman had given me were beginning to take a toll. I had barely slept in the past week, and Patton and I had stayed at Roman's place overnight the past few days.

After a few nights together, we began to grow a routine. Once Roman and Virgil had gone to bed, Patton and I would eat whatever dessert he had baked recently, and we would chat until dawn or til one of us fell asleep (usually on the others' shoulder).

Last night was no exception to our routine, to say the least.

The night before

"So, why are you a divorce lawyer?" Patton had asked me with glossy, tired eyes. He poured himself another glass of champagne, a gift from one of Virgil's family members. Virgil had then given it to us as a 'thanks for all that we've done'.

"Well," I stated, "I was a recent college graduate who pretty much gave up on any hope of getting married, and I studied law for four years, so the job was practically handed to me by a friend of mine."

"Who's your friend?"

"He, umm," I paused, considering how much I wanted to reveal to him. I then remembered what Roman told me, "His name is Emile, he used to be my... uhm, my therapist."

Patton nodded at that, not a single ounce of judgment in his eyes. If he wanted to ask me about why I was in therapy, it didn't show. His lips sat curled into a playful, content smile. The joyful glow that radiated from him normally was only enhanced by the buzzed feeling on my lips. It was a nice feeling, everything was warm and oddly comfortable.

I had tried to keep my distance from the cute baker, but he was so endearing. And the alcohol certainly wasn't helping. In the dim light of Roman's living room, he looked like an angel, with stars for freckles.

"But really, why did you decide to be a divorce lawyer? I mean, something must've happened, right?"

I sighed, contemplating. I had never told anyone, not even Roman about what had happened. Not the whole story, anyway. But somewhere in between the alcohol and my newfound trust for the soft, caring boy beside me, I found the courage to tell him. To finally open up to both him and myself about what had happened.

"I, um... It was about three years ago. I was in a relationship for a long time. I was committed. I was-"

I choked, even recalling the story made me want to cry. Patton rested a soft hand atop my own. I laced my fingers with his own, giving his hand a light squeeze.

"I was ready to propose to him," I saw something in Patton's face change when I said the word 'him' but I chose to ignore it.

"It was a Friday. Rainy. Our usual date night. We were supposed to go somewhere really fancy. Supposed to."

I paused, taking a moment to breathe, "We got into a big fight right before we left. It was something stupid, like who forgot to pay the electric bill. Things got worse quickly and we started yelling about other things, like why he was getting home from work so late, or why he wouldn't let me use his phone to make calls every once in a while. He broke and yelled at me that maybe it wasn't working. That our relationship wasn't meant to work."

I sniffled, taking off my glasses momentarily to wipe the tears away from my eyes. I set the lenses back atop my nose and adjusted the sleeves of my button up, weakly trying and failing to regain my sense of professionalism. Patton squeezed my hand lightly and I glanced up to see him with his soft, reassuring smile.

"He left and slammed the door to our apartment, our apartment, and drove his car out of our driveway towards his parents' house. He drove out of our driveway and drove over the bridge on highway I-90 and drove out of the way of a drunk driver and then drove straight off the highway down into the river below."

I felt tears rolling down my face and my glasses were fogged up from crying, "I was gonna propose on our date. I had the ring and everything. We had talked about it so many times, fantasizing about the family we were gonna build. We were gonna get married."

Patton pulled his hand back and when I looked up to face him, he had his arms wide open, welcoming me into a hug.

So long, so long I had spent building up a wall, keeping love away. I had skipped so many blind dates, avoided any and all efforts made by Roman to set me up with someone. The wall kept everyone out, and it kept me safe.

But when I saw this boy, this witty, kind, optimistic, wonderfully adorable cake baker with his arms open wide, I realized I had never wanted anything more than for him to hold me. I craved his affection and touch like my lungs craved air. As I stared at him, this soft, beautiful boy made of star-freckles and cookies and soft, loving eyes, I felt it all break down. Every last emotional brick I had put in place shattered, and I crashed into his arms.

He embraced me tightly, and I had never felt safer.

I buried my sobbing face in his yellow sweater, the same one I had first met him wearing four weeks prior.

"God, Logan, I'm so sorry. I... I had no idea." His voice was soft, and I could practically hear the realization in his voice, the puzzle pieces of my fear falling into place in his mind. The anomaly was finally making sense to him.

I hugged him tighter, feeling myself begin to calm down. I sat up and he gently rubbed my cheek with his thumb, wiping away my tears. I turned my head to face him, and the look in his eyes was so soft and so loving that I could feel myself melting inside.

Every bone, every muscle in my body was screaming for me to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so badly it scared me. I hadn't wanted to kiss someone this badly since before my almost-husband drove off a bridge.

His hand was now cupping my cheek, and he was slowly leaning closer. I could feel my resolve breaking down. Maybe it was because of me opening up to him, maybe it was because of the alcohol flowing through my body, I couldn't tell and couldn't care less.

His lips were so close. They were just grazing mine. I felt his breath come in short, quick bursts. His hand was still laced in mine, and I could feel his erratic heartbeat through his fingers. I could lean forward so, so easily and let everything fall into place.

Then it hit me.

I realized how hard it would be to let myself fall in love again. I realized how painful it would be when he inevitably left me.

I realized how hard it would be to let him go, and I pulled away from him.

He seemed disappointed, but not angry in the slightest. I looked at him with tired eyes, and I could tell he understood. He opened his arms back up and I fell into them.

This, this was comfortable. His arms around me felt safe. Warm. Like home.

He ran his fingers through my hair and I felt myself growing tired. Roman had always told me I was a lightweight, but I doubted my exhaustion was because of the alcohol.

Patton shifted on the couch so that I was laying on top of him, my arms around his neck. He placed his hand on the small of my back. It was comforting and began to make me oh so tired.

"Patton, 'm sleepy."

He tugged my glasses off and set them down somewhere, "Then sleep, dearest. It's okay now. You're safe here. You're safe."

And for the first time in years, I was.

Present

So now I was sat with Patton in the waiting room of a wedding suit boutique, making small talk while Roman and Virgil finished getting their suits adjusted.

Waking up was... awkward, to say the least. Roman and Virgil were in the kitchen making breakfast when I awoke. Immediately after realizing where I was, I panicked and rolled off the couch and fell to the floor. We had managed to avoid the subject of last night for the whole morning, but the discussion needed to happen at some point.

I shook my head, pulling myself back to reality. I glanced over at Patton sat beside me, who seemed to be lost in thought. I coughed into my hand to get his attention, and he turned to face me.

"I, um..." I mumbled my words, nervous, "I just wanted to apologize for last night. I kinda dumped all my emotional luggage on you, and I'm sorry if I was too much."

He took my hand gently. Without the alcohol, I began to take notice of the smaller details, like how soft his hands were, and the kindness of his gaze.

"Logan, please don't apologize. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm so proud that you opened up to me about that."

"Really?"

"Yes, really!" He shouted slightly, alerting a few other customers scattered throughout the waiting room, and we chuckled at his outburst.

"Logan, it took me years, years, to talk about my mom. And even then, it still hurt like absolute hell. I'm so impressed. And I'm really honored that it was me that you opened up to."

I shrugged, "Well, of course I wanted to open up to you. I know I've only known you for a short amount of time, but I feel like I've known you my whole life." I knew it seemed like I was oversharing once again, but I realized now that I didn't care, "You're the closest to a sense of home I've felt in years."

He was beaming, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. I didn't know what else to do at that moment, so I opened up my arms. He looked at me for a moment before throwing himself into me, crashing like a wave against my chest. His breathing was like the ocean lapping against the shore, soft and persistent. He giggled slightly into my ear, and I didn't even bother trying to hide my smile.

I knew me falling in love with him was inevitable, but I hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. But, for some reason, I was happy that it had. Maybe falling in love with the kindest, most extraordinary boy I've ever met wouldn't be such a terrible occurrence.

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#my writing #logicality

[itsakurl]

Prom? | HRJ

Genre: fluff, some angst okay but like its happy at the endddddd

Word Count: 1.8k

Highschool!AU

Request from @jung-snoopy-woo

“All this commotion for one little dance seemed like a bunch of bullshit in your eyes...but maybe that idea could change? Don’t know.  The only thing is that she doesn’t see the reason for someone’s last memorable moment before graduating is a lame old dance ”

It’s that time of school year. The peak of being a senior.  Prom is only a few weeks away and everyone is freaking out about what they are going to wear, what are they going to do, and most importantly: who they are going with. All this commotion for one little dance seemed like a bunch of bullshit in your eyes...but maybe that idea could change? Don’t know.  The only thing is that she doesn’t see the reason for someone’s last memorable moment before graduating is a lame old dance...like there should be something that’s a lot more fun than grouping the entirety of the graduating senior class and stuffing them into a room and making them dance with each other. “MAOR!!” Looking for the source of your name, you saw your friend Renjun run towards you with a smile plastered on his face.   “What happened?!” You spat at Renjun after he attacked you with a giant hug, making your bag hit one of the lockers.  The sound was loud as fuck, causing attention from a couple students around you two.  You ended the hug and awaited for renjun’s answer. “You, Maor, are going to help me get a date to prom” THAT'S ALL?! he was happy about getting a stupid date to prom? Woooooow okay...but why did he need you? “Why do I need to help?” “Because you’re a girl...and girl equals It helps to get a date” “Wow that’s all our friendship means to you? I’m salt!” You jokingly turned away from Renjun showing full disapproval of his opinion. In reality, you didn’t give one shit about what he said...would you do it? Of course...if it makes him happy. “No no!! I didn’t mean it that way I’m sorry!” Renjun hugged you, simotainously forcing you to accept his apology. You liked his hugs though...let’s not say anything ye- The bell rang. “Well I got to go to class...see you at lunch Maor” and off he goes without getting legitimate forgiveness.   You walked to class feeling a bit...sad?  Renjun has been your friend since freshman year...a full 4 years of high school and NOT ONCE has he noticed your feelings for him... Well granted, it was plainly obvious freshman and sophomore year when you first started liking him.  You developed ways to hide it over the years but...how can you get mad over something that is only affecting you? 5 crushes, 18 dates, 2 girlfriends...all of that you had to deal with and what could you do about it?! Nothing...you just sit back as the love in your eyes are being taken away by all the others. Now that it’s come to prom...it really did break your heart that he for sure only saw you as a friend...the friend to ‘help him ask someone out to prom because you’re of the opposite gender’ friend. Maybe...it’s time to move on from this silly crush and find someone better.  Someone who actually likes you the same way you like Renjun.  It’s been 4 years though and you still have no luck in finding anyone like that. Well, prom is coming up soon...a miracle would have to happen for you to go. — Lunchtime came around and something inside you just felt odd. Like this weird feeling that you get when you know something bad is going to happen, like a spidey-sense that Spider-Man has you know? Well, you walked to the table you usually sat at and saw all your friends...Mark, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung, Renjun, and this girl you’ve seen a couple of times. Who for sure never sat at your table before. Her name is Jaylin. One of Renjun’s classmates from Chemistry. She’s pretty nice and smart according to what you’ve seen of her...and pretty attractive not going to lie. “Hey guys...” you said as you stood near the table since Jaylin took your seat. “Hi, Jaylin” you put your best ‘hey hey lookie me I’m nice’ attitude on but like...you don’t know why you felt so...jealous. She was always with Renjun when you weren’t really around...and they’ve been hanging out a lot lately... You looked down to Jeno after you felt a couple of taps against your arm. He made one of those ‘come closer so I could whisper in your ear’ gestures and so you did exactly that. “What do you want?” You whispered? Irritated no by the sudden display of people. “Word going around that Renjun is asking someone to prom after school...going to be there?” “Yeah..he asked if I could help...know who though?” “Hmm, I’ve been told?” “Who?” Immediately, like as fast as the speed of light, you asked for...’scientific purposes’ of course. “It’s Pretty obvious...” you knew it. You looked over at Jaylin and sighed. Of course, it was Jaylin...no wonder why they have been hanging out a lot lately. It was time. Definitely. Time to move on from Renjun and find another guy. Yeah. It’s going to happen...maybe after the prom-posal thing happens.  Then it tells you for sure...Renjun just isn’t the right guy for you. — The last bell rang. Your piano teacher was frantically telling you guys the homework for tonight but you didn’t listen. All you could think about was Renjun. His stupid prom shit. This is why you hate prom. It’s so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid! SO FUCKING STUPID!!! Angry. Okay, you admit: You are angry.  You spent 4 years...4 fucking years in a friendship that had a fucking one-sided love the whole time!   Jealousy. As much as you hate that word...it’s true. You don’t want to accept it but it’s true. Watching as you walked slowly to the empty classroom that Renjun told you to go to in full despair is perfect evidence to say: you are jealous. You weren’t surprised when you got there...in the class, no one...not a single person in that class.  No sign of students, friends, or even Renjun and Jaylin... “Maybe...they’ll come soon...I still walked pretty fast” You whispered to yourself, trying to lighten up your mood and not let your mood be ruined. It’s not the time to overthink. A few minutes past and still; no sign of anyone. Did Renjun...lie to you?  Did he make you come to this stupid ass classroom because he didn’t want you there for the prom-posal?  But why the hell did he ask you to help in the first place if he was going to do this to you?!   A single tear ran down your eye as you sat up from the chair and wiped the useless tear away. It’s time to go home. You left the class, locking the door and slowly walking down the long hallway.  You never felt so sad...or maybe...betrayed was a good answer for it.  Maybe you can go home and make yourself feel better...Maybe just sit on the bed and eat some ice crea- “MAOR! OMG, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!” God dammit...Mark and Jeno yelled to you as they ran. “I was waiting for y-“ “No time to say anything we’re going to be late!” Harshly and a But too tight; Mark grabbed ahold of your arm and started pulling you faster to the courtyard outside. “Late?! Late for what?!” “SHH NO QUESTIONS!” Jeno yelled as he pushed your back harder to go faster to where Mark lead. Outside you were...amazed.  It looked like the whole Senior class was standing in a big circle...maybe this was the prom thing Renjun was talking about... Did you read the message right? “JAYLIN TAKE HER!” Jeno yelled as he pushed you into Jaylin’s arms. She leads you to a single chair that was sat in the middle of the huge crowd of people. “Jaylin...what the hell is going on?!” “Shh sweetie no questions...just take these” Jaylin gave you a bouquet of roses and smiled. “Ooh, I’ve been waiting for this moment!” Jaylin squealed as she ran to the crowd, leaving you alone, being watched by more than 100 students. Suddenly...everyone went quiet. Then it started to play, well just the guitar part...but still...you could immediately tell what song it was. The song that was playing was perfect by Ed Sheeran...it was your favorite love song. Finally, someone started to sing...it was completely obvious who it was.  There he was, Renjun, slowly emerging from the crowd with his guitar in hand, singing perfectly. You couldn’t help yourself. You started to cry. He knew, THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW, the backstory between you and that song. That lovable bastard... Back in freshman year, when you met Renjun, both of you took choir that’s where you two first met. You guys were partnered up to sing any song of your choice...and you picked The exact song Renjun was singing now. Since then, that song kinda became...your guy’s song. You two would sing it when your bored, tired, stressed, or even when you guys miss each other. Behind Renjun were Chenle, Jisung, Haechan, and Jaemin holding up more flowers and a cake.  But the one thing that Jaemin was holding made you want to bawl your eyes out. A simple sign that read ‘Will you go to prom with me?’.   This stupid cute ass loving bastard. “Well...will you go to prom with me Maor?” You smiled at his question. He gave Haechan is the guitar to hold and spread his arms out for a hug, making you gladly return it. “Of course Renjun,” you said as you hugged him tightly. After 5 crushes, 18 dates, and 2 girlfriends...there was you. The girl that stuck with him through all of high school and finally getting what she wanted the most. “Fucking took me 4 years to do this...” Oof there it was. Lip to lip contact between your best friend. The crowd around you cheered as you broke the kiss from embarrassment. “You better share that cake with me...I paid a good ten dollars on that cake” Renjun whispered making you giggle. He planted a kiss on your forehead, making him proudly smile as he wrapped his arm around you. “Well. I’m not taking no for an answer but...do you want to be my girlfriend” “I would say yes even if I had a choice Renjun...” you two spent the rest of that day at your house. singing to the rest of your guy’s favorite songs while stuffing your face with cake. Welp...guess you’re going to prom now.  Stupid useless prom doesn’t seem so...useless anymore. You still have the same judgment on it but...at least you’re going with your best friend, now...best boyfriend? But hey...At least you know miracles can happen.

#nct #nct reaction #nct imagine #nct text #nct scenario #nct huang renjun #nct renjun #nct renjun imagine #nct dream #huang renjun #renjun