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raisinghellonstarbug · 3 years

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Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You - A James Acaster x Reader Story

Basic plot: The year is 2019, and life has been quite dull for you since working in a job that you hate for the past two years after graduating from university. You used to do stand up comedy at uni, but you’ve been putting off pursuing it due to lack of confidence and motivation. Your best mates decide to encourage you to try a comedy mic night for the first time ever and while there you incidentally run into an old mate of yours, comedian Rhys James. That’s when your life gets turned around as you end up diving into the world of the comedy circuit and becoming close with other famous British comedians. In the midst of it all, you end up meeting a particularly distinctive red headed fellow who might end up being the very thing that brings meaning to your life again.

A/N: Hello Acaster fans!

So this was an idea I have had in mind for the last few months and I finally finished the first chapter of my story!

Just so you know, the first chapter does not include James, but be patient as he will appear soon (but maybe not quite as soon as you hope). I do reckon it will be worth the wait for his appearance, or at least I hope the story is still enjoyable! It is a slow burn so if you are an inpatient person, then this story might not be for you ;)

You can read this chapter below or if you prefer, there is also the link to the chapter posted on Ao3 right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33748507

Rating: M

Chapter 1 word length: 2326

Characters: James Acaster (duh), Original Female Characters(s), Original Male Character(s), Rhys James, Ed Gamble, Nish Kumar, Josh Widdicombe

Relationships: James Acaster x Reader/you, Original female character/Original Male character

Story tags: Romantic comedy, domestic fluff, slow burn, fluff and smut, British comedy, eventual relationships

Tagging: @laurabeech @rilannon @jasclearwaters @marklily @queensantiagoofthe99

Chapter 1 - Summer 2019

You were sitting at your desk at your mundane job, practically ready to blow your brains out on the usual, dull Thursday afternoon. It was really warm and stuffy inside the fifteen story office block building situated in Canary Wharf. This was a place you found yourself five days a week, doing the typical 9 to 5 hours. A usual day for a usual person.

Your job wasn’t a particularly riveting one. As an underwriter for an insurance company, some days could get especially boring. You knew how to do the job well, but it was not something you really loved. It involved all kinds of clients and claims in paperwork and it sometimes felt tedious and unfulfilling. But hey, it still paid your share of rent and bills. At least you could say you could manage in the hustle and bustle of the London lifestyle.

It was nearly hometime and you were itching to get home and relax. But before that could happen, there were those last set of insurance cover forms you had to copy to get sent to the HR department. And so you typed away on your laptop, clickety clack, clickety clack… the minutes went by like a chalk on a blackboard, scraping away at a snail’s pace.

You put your full force of concentration on the documents on the screen until it was finally done. A sense of achievement was necessary in these moments despite your lack of enthusiasm. It was in the little victories you reminded yourself. You rubbed the sweat from the July heat off your forehead.

* * *

The last 2 hours eventually passed by and it was soon the rush to get out of the door before you got held up by your colleagues. They were nice enough, but sometimes they could hold you back for half an hour chatting when you just wanted to get home, or your manager might try and get you to stay an hour overtime.

Thankfully you did get out promptly, and as you ran and dashed out of the office building saying brisk goodbyes to coworkers, you managed to make it to the tube with the train just arriving on time. But not without being moderately sweaty and hot though. Bloody stuffy platforms.

As expected it was still a busy train with plenty of 5pm finishers getting themselves situated on the half crowded carriages, but as it was only 10 past, it wasn't the worst time of day for commuting yet.

You perched yourself on one of the tube’s seats and let your shoulders drop, having held the tension in your body from sitting at a desk all day. You placed your head slightly back, balancing it on the window of the train. You looked up momentarily above you and then lifted your head back up to look at your phone and choose a song to listen to on Spotify through your wireless earphones.

The streams of sound from one of your favourite songs began to play softly in your ears and you smiled, knowing that the song gave you a little bit of wistful joy. You started mouthing the words.

Call it all for nothing, but I'd rather be nothing to you. Than be a part of something, something that I didn’t do (Best to You - Blood Orange).

The words half mean something but not necessarily anything. You began to wonder about being part of something that you’re not.

I just wish I could float away from my unexciting existence… you thought to yourself.

It sometimes occurred to you that you might have wanted something more out of life, but weren’t entirely sure what. It doesn’t make you dreadfully sad, but you know that life for you hasn’t exactly been the best it could be, and that perhaps something was missing. You wish you knew what it was.

You sighed, ignoring the feeling of sorrow wash over you momentarily and propped yourself back up in the uncomfortable seat of the train. You tried to keep yourself awake so that you wouldn’t miss your stop. The music continued through your ears.

* * *

You opened the door of the three bedroom flat that you had been residing in for the last two years with your flatmates and sighed with relief that you had finally reached home. You hurried to get your handbag off your shoulder and your shoes off, placing them on the rack next to the front door and walked through the hallway.

The minute you poked your head through to the lounge, bellowing a faint hello to whoever was around, you were suddenly greeted by one of your best friends and flatmates, Grace.

“Ahh Y/n! You’re home. Thank christ!”

She grabbed you and reached her arms around to embrace you tightly. You were perplexed by this gesture as it was so random and unusual given that Grace lived with you and saw you everyday of the week. You frowned and reluctantly placed your arms around her to return the hug.

As she then let go, she looked at you with urgency in her eyes and shrieked with excitement, “Oh Y/n guess what? It looks like I’m up for a promotion! Can you believe it?”

Now processing the reason for such an embrace, you raised your eyebrows in glee and smiled proudly, gushing back to your best mate who was obviously chuffed by the matter.

“Oh wow Grace, that's fantastic! I mean, finally. It is about bloody time!”

She smiled, “Yes I guess it is. But I mustn't get too excited. I haven’t officially got the promotion yet.”

“Ah but no. I’m not having any of that. You will get that promotion. It is a guarantee. They would be idiots to not give it to you.” Grace rolled her eyes and bit her lip. She reluctantly nodded and agreed.

The smell of food distracted you momentarily from the conversation. It was a particularly appetising smell.

Grace uttered, “Yes that smell is good isn’t it? Theo insisted on cooking us a nice meal for me as a celebration.”

You smiled knowingly, having known about how Grace and Theo had been in relationship limbo ever since you three became close friends at university. You knew they both had feelings for each other but often danced around the subject, completely oblivious to one another’s obvious attraction to the other. You reckoned they had to do something about it one day.

“Thank fuck. I wasn’t prepared to make dinner tonight. I am too tired for that.”

Grace then had her worried face on. She instantly knew, as she knew you too well, but funnily enough never picked up on Theo’s emotions despite constantly wondering about them, that something was wrong.

“Are you ok babe?” she asked with a look of pity that you scornfully resented.

You sighed, half lying, “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired is all.”

You made a beeline for the couch knowing full well that you were going to talk about it whether you liked it or not. You knew that Grace would see right through your dishonesty and insist that you told her the problem.

So you waited until Grace inevitably sat next to you and gave you that sympathy look she always gave you before coming out with the concerns that were floating around your brain.

“OK fine. I know you won’t leave me alone unless I tell you.”

“Ahh, you know me so well…”

“Yes, just as you know me. I’m just- I’m fed up. Work was slow. I don’t really feel like I’m associated with my life. I feel... disconnected, I guess.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

You shrugged and looked down at the floor and then back at Grace smiling sheepishly, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not- not fulfilled? I just don’t thoroughly enjoy my life right now.”

Grace nodded and put a hand on your leg. You twitched your face in slight discomfort. You hated it when you were given sympathy for something that seemed so miniscule. It wasn’t like you were dying.

It was times like this when you just wanted to curl up in your bed, eat a tub of ice cream and watch your favourite comedy programmes. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown sprang to mind.

As you sat in momentary silence for a bit, Theo came waltzing through from the kitchen with his silly apron on that had a naked man’s body printed on it, and a spatula in his hand. He smiled at you.

“I thought I heard your voice. I hope meatballs for dinner are good tonight. Not mine of course,” gesturing to the apron as he said it.

You shook your head at Theo’s poor dad joke and stood up to hug him. You realised that you must be really down in the dumps to be hugging Theo. It was his turn to be confused. He looked towards Grace wide eyed.

“She’s had a particularly tough day. But mind you babe, you’ve kinda been like this for weeks now.”

You let go of Theo and turned to Grace, frowning and feeling slightly defensive. You placed a hand on your hip.

“Been like what? I’ve just been a bit fed up, that's all.”

“Yes but it’s not just a bit fed up. You said so yourself you feel disconnected. We’ve been waiting for you to say it.”

You looked to Theo and he nodded gently in agreement.

“Ok… but, nothing is really wrong exactly. My life is fine.”

“Fine, yes. But not amazing. We know it’s getting you down. And the job is the problem.”

“But I’m good at it. And it pays the bills. What else am I supposed to do?”

Grace then looked away from your eyes then, twitching her lip and looking as though she was holding something back. She then sighed and began to admit something you had not been expecting.

“OK look. We know what you can do. Theo and I have figured it out. We can manage money wise. It will be tight, but if you quit your job we should be able to help you out for a little bit.”

Your eyes grew wider than large saucepans. You were totally bewildered and your mouth slightly agape.

“What? Quit my job? Why? What work would I get instead?”

“Well, maybe you won't quit your job yet. Maybe you’re right, that's too hasty. Perhaps what I’m trying to say is-”

Theo then chimed in, “-what Grace is trying to say is…”

You smirked to yourself. How do they not realise that they’re already a couple but without the sex? They’re practically married for christ sake.

“...we reckon that you need to pursue your passion. Perhaps stop wasting your talents in an office job that you hate.”

Grace continued, “yes exactly. We have had an idea in mind. See, we want you to go to this thing… it’s no biggie but well, we’ve already booked it for you.”

Your mind was racing. You couldn’t understand anything that they were saying to you. It was all too much for you to manage.

“Booked what for me? What the hell are you both going on about?”

They both looked at each other with reluctance, pondering the moment and whether to tell you the whole truth. They both shrugged and Grace was then pulling her phone out, this whole conversation beginning to appear as though they had been trying to practice it.

Suddenly Grace’s phone screen was wavering in your face. You moved your head closer to see a photo on the screen. It was a comedy club night poster. Incidentally, it was an open mic night event happening on Saturday night. You began to then put the puzzle pieces together. You folded your arms and frowned heavily.

“What the fuck have you two done now?”

Theo softly spoke, “We… booked you a slot to do that comedy open mic event thing, on Saturday night.”

“Wait. As in to perform? You can’t be serious-”

Grace tried to reassure you and grabbed your arm.

“Look, we know it might seem daunting, but we just wanted to see you happy again. It’s been two years since we graduated and you haven’t performed since then. We thought it might be good to encourage you to perform again. You were always funny to us. And people at uni thought so too. You have the stand up talent, Y/n.”

You could not process anymore. You shook your head in disbelief and placed your head in your hands, rubbing your eyes from sudden exhaustion. You then threw your hands up in exasperation. It was not possible. You could not do that again.

Fucking no way. I can’t be on stage again! It’s too scary. University pub nights are one thing but a comedy club?

You shook your head again and placed your hands on your hips. Grace tried to speak up again seeing the frustration painted across your face. In fact it was anger that your friends chose to do this without your say so.

“Y/n…”

“No. Nope. I’m not doing it. No.”

“But Y/n, we were also going to tell you that Theo is also thinking of doing the same thing! He wants to do his music again. What harm would it be for you to rejuvenate your comedy skills? Surely you can write a quick couple of gags. Nothing strenuous. You have your old material from university, right?”

You had to get out of the room. Nothing that they were saying to you could be fully accepted at that moment.

You then gave them no choice but to let you go with your head in a flurry. They both watched you leave the room, mumbling something along the lines of I’m not really hungry anymore, I’m going to bed. Soon after, you darted across the other end of the hallway, ill-tempered and almost seething, and slammed your bedroom door shut.

#james acaster #james acaster fanfic #james acaster x reader #james acaster x you #original female character #original male character #original story #off menu #eventual romance #slow burn

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redhoodssweetheart · 3 years

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Until Midnight

Pairing: Damian Wayne x Gender Neutral!Reader

Requested: Yes (REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, this was for my 1.5K follower celebration) (Also I noticed on the last several stories that I posted that I accidentally left this part as No. I am so sorry :’( I didn’t mean to do that it’s just sometimes I forget to change things)

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: Fluff, swearing

Description: You and a man named Dami have been in a secret romance for a while now. One day he invites you to a masquerade ball that the Wayne’s are hosting and you learn that the man you’ve been talking to is really Damian Wayne.

Your mask was secured on your face, your outfit absolutely perfect. Everything was ready for the masquerade ball tonight. Your friends would be here any moment to pick you up. You glanced at your phone and saw that you had a text message waiting for you.

Dami: I can’t wait to see you tonight, beloved. Officially, that is.

You had been secretly talking to someone named Dami for over four months at this point. You had met on an app to make new friends. He had told you that his family said he needed to make more friends and he was trying the app to see what he could find. One thing led to another and two months after you had met the two of you had started seeing one another, and neither one of you had seen a picture of the other. You didn’t mind, you were just happy to have found someone as loving and caring as Dami was.

You had found out a month ago that both of you were going to the masquerade ball that the Gotham City Public Library was hosting to try and raise funds. They were offering a magical evening like one from a book and Dami had said he was going to be there. You had agreed to wear a pin of a robin that he had sent you so that he could find you amongst the masses.

Your friends arrived and off you went, each of you talking excitedly about what the night would entail. Your friends were hoping to meet some mysterious stranger that would sweep them off their feet and offer them the thrill of a lifetime. You kept quiet thinking about finally meeting Dami. Your friends asked you how you wished the evening would go, none of them knew about your secret relationship with someone from the internet. That was something you had wanted to keep to yourself.

“I just want to have a little fun,” was all you said.

People were already gathered inside talking and laughing, the clinking of glasses, and the sound of the band mingled with one another. You looked around in wonder at the ballroom that had been chosen for this event. The chandeliers were winking at you in the low light. Everyone was dressed in their best and your friends broke away to find some refreshments while you stood in the doorway wondering if Dami was here yet.

On the other side of the room, Damian stood with his brothers, sisters, and father. It was his father’s idea to hold this fundraiser event and while Damian normally hated these things he couldn’t wait to meet you. He had imagined this moment for months and now that it was finally here he wasn’t going to lie, he was a little nervous.

Though you wouldn’t have known that by looking at him.

Damian’s face, even covered with a mask, was as unreadable as ever. Jason elbowed Dick and asked, “Does the demon spawn seem off to you tonight?”

Dick took a closer look at his younger brother and said, “I don’t see anything off about him.”

Jason, however, still wasn’t sold on anything. He was about to ask Damian what was going on with him when Damian said, “I’m going to take a lap.” Then he broke away from the group leaving them all watching him for a moment before shrugging it off and going back to their own conversations.

You had been here for fifteen minutes and asked to dance three times by random people, none of them Dami. He was supposed to be wearing a matching pin just like yours so that you would know it was him. You were beginning to think that maybe he had stood you up. Maybe he was never coming in the first place and just got a kick out of making you look like an idiot. You were almost ready to throw in the towel when you heard a voice said, “Found you.”

You turned and there stood Damian Wayne, and on his lapel was the matching robin pin that he had sent to you. For a moment your brain did the Windows shutdown noise and your mouth hung open. “You… you’re…. Oh my God,” you couldn’t form a coherent thought let alone a complete sentence.

He smiled at you, “Would you care to dance with me, beloved?” He offered you a hand and for a moment you didn’t want to believe that this was actually happening.

How had the man you had met on that app be Damian Wayne? How had you not known that this entire time you were talking to Bruce Wayne’s son?

Taking his hand he led you out onto the dance floor and pulled you in close and in that moment the entire world felt right. Everything outside of this ballroom didn’t exist and he wasn’t the son of Bruce Wayne and you weren’t just someone he had met on an app. For a moment it truly was like you were in a book or fairytale, and you were the only two people in the entire world.

The song came to an end, but Damian still held you in his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?” The one thought that had been on your mind since the initial shock wore off slipped past your lips. “Did you not trust me even after you got to know me better?”

Damian had known that this might be one of your questions, “Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere without my family’s prying eyes and the patrons staring at us like we’re cannon fodder for gossip?”

You glanced around the room and noticed that there were people staring at you and Damian. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

His fingers intertwined with yours and the two of you dashed from the room. He hailed a cab and took you to a private club in the upscale side of town. There he found a private couch away from the others and the two of you sat. His eyes searched your face as if he were trying to memorize it. “You asked why I didn’t tell you after we got to know one another,” he began. “It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you or didn’t want to tell you. I just liked how things were. I wasn’t Damian Wayne when I was with you, I was just Dami. And I knew eventually I’d have to come clean and when this opportunity presented itself I figured what better way to tell you than at the masquerade ball.”

You could understand that he probably felt normal when talking with you. People probably used him all the time and when he was with you he didn’t have that same pressure placed upon him. “I understand,” and you saw him relax. “I’m glad I know now, I gotta say I was beginning to grow curious as to what you looked like.”

“Am I better or worse than what you had pictured?”

You acted like you were considering the question before saying, “Better, definitely better.”

He grinned and tugged you closer, “You don’t know how glad I am that I can finally touch you and hold you. I’ve been imagining this moment for months,” he confessed.

“Yeah?” You gave him a shy smile but leaned into him more, your faces growing closer.

“Yeah,” his voice soft and you could almost feel his lips on your when—

“DAMIAN WAYNE, YOU’VE GOT SOME MAJOR EXPLAINING TO DO!” A new voice shouted and you and Damian jumped apart as if caught doing something inappropriate.

When Damian looked up he growled, “What the hell?! Did you all follow us here?”

You noticed three boys and two girls coming your way and you realized that this was Damian’s family and you felt your nerves spike. The girls greeted you with bright smiles while the boys started arguing with one another. “They’re always like this,” Cass leaned over and told you.

“You’ll get used to it,” Stephanie said.

You watched the four of them bicker, a fond smile on your face.

#Damian Wayne x Reader #Damian Wayne x Reader fluff #Damian Wayne #Damian Wayne fanfic #Damian Wayne fanfiction #Damian Wayne fluff #Requested

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tc-honeydew · 2 years

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Hello! I am back! 💙

So, W. I saw him for the first time in 2 years.

Two days ago, my mom wasn't getting out of work early and I had time to kill after school. It's finals week, and so we've been getting out of school early and my mom doesn't get off of work until 5. I dressed up really nice that day because I had morning practice for basketball, and dresses are the easiest thing to slip on in the morning lol. Anyways, I had this bizarre idea take over me as I was changing out of my pe clothes: "Should I go see W today?"I decided and went to his new school, and I swear to you, the first minute of me seeing him was just me looking at him and saying "Omg, I haven't seen you in forever!" LOL

________________________________________

I'm so happy we got to spend time together. He gave me a tour of his room (which was so cute) and it was nice! Much more spacious than the one we used to work in. He showed me what the kids have been working on, which was cool, he even taught me about 3d printing. He told me he's been doing well, we talked about all our favorite shows. I ended up confessing to him my fears about losing my passion for art, and he understood completely. It was really refreshing, actually.

We had a conversation and I think I might be a realist like he is because we think very similarly. I love the way his mind works, honestly I felt like we could have talked for hours if I wasn't in a rush.

I told him I bought his book and he was so happy! The next time I see him he said he'll autograph it <3

I was basically trying my best to ignore my parents the whole time we were talking because honestly my mom would have never let me go to another school BY MYSELF if she had known. I honestly didn't even know if he was going to be in his classroom, when I walked on campus initially I was trying so hard to find it 😂 I even went to the front desk with a story about my sister and they were like zero help until I told them who I was actually looking for. When the lady at the front desk called him and he actually ANSWERED I almost jumped out of my skin LMAO because I

Knew he was alive and

That he was THERE, ON CAMPUS

I fucking 100 yard dashed over to the buildings another lady from the school pointed me towards. Anyways fast forward, after we get done talking about Boba Fett, Stranger Things 4, and Obi-Wan, 3d printing, and my existential crisis, he told me he was a actually working on a graduation gift for another student and that he was going to my schools graduation at 6 that day.

I told him I was thinking about doing the same thing, which wasn't a lie because it's what I told my mom I was actually going to do. He asked me how I was going to get there and I told him I would walk, and he said he was just thinking about doing the same. So, we walked together. When I tell you I can't make this up because I've literally never been happier and I could go into so much detail if y'all want me to but basically: it was perfect.

We got there hecka early, my mom ended up finding me and yelling at me until I had to tell her I wasn't with some random hippie man for no reason (LMAO) and I ended up convincing her to let me go. Funny story but I almost abandoned him bc of my mom (I'll probably post abt that in a separate post bc it's funny in hindsight lol), and we ended up watching the whole graduation together until 8pm when he walked me to my car...Literally, the sweetest man ❤️ I'm so glad I got to spend an entire evening with him

~~~

Thank you guys for listening! I know this one was long for a post back, if you've never met me before I hope I can get to know you! :)

It's been a while, I actually turned 17 last April! 17! That's my favorite number, especially considering I was born on April 17th lol! I can't believe I started this when I was 14, I know I didn't entirely disclose that fact but nonetheless I'm 17 now and I've learned a lot about myself over the years. They say it gets easier but I've found myself reverting back to bad habits: letting people walk all over me, procrastination, and self hate. Hopefully that changes soon. But I will say I'm probably wiser now, and I'm glad I still have this to come back to when I have wonderful encounters like these <333 love you guys!!!

P.S. Happy Pride Month from a fellow bi!🌺

~~~

#maybe it was worth it #tc #tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tcc feelings #boba fett #stranger things #obi-wan #tcc post #tcc update #tcc blog #but i love him all the same #W

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morkofday · 3 years

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2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash)

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!)

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x].

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote.

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end.

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D:

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment).

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’)

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more!

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥)

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone!

#tag game #wow this took ages #am sorry am late #thanks for tagging me tho!!#i enjoyed this a lot #about me

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ryuichirou · 3 years

Note

I saw one very stupid post on my dash about how snk is OBVIOUSLY nazi propaganda and trying to convert all of us into imperialists and white supremacists. tbh it’s not the first time I’ve seen that kind of stuff and probably won't be the last, but for some reason this time it gave me a lot of anxiety (I got wordy, I'mma need to send another ask, sorry)

(part 2) It's been more than half and hour and I still feel this awful sensation in my chest. It's just overall pretty fucked how to have something you hold dear being misinterpreted in the worst way possible, and I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this situation or how you deal with people claiming all sorts of awful shit.

(part 3) I imagine that as an artist some people probably direct their issues with snk towards you, 'cause I don't even post that much fanart and I've gotten anons "trying to educate me" on why this series is so wrong, after posting drawings. Of course, you don't have to reply, maybe the topic makes you anxious too and I don't want to bother you, so sorry for the depressing topic (｡•́︿•̀｡)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiiish, I want to hug you, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’re feeling a little bit better now.

Like we already mentioned a while ago, when we were talking about that darn article, after we read through it and did a little fact checking (and I mean it when I say a little, because there weren’t many facts to check), we stopped caring about it. It’s not research at all, just a manipulatively written speculation on Yam’s motives and worldview, but sadly, people easily believe these accusations because they hate SnK and want to find a valid reason to hate it and shit on its fanbase. Because “I hate it because it’s nazi propaganda” sounds much cooler than “I hate it because it’s popular”, doesn’t it?

It’s easier to ignore the article itself though, and it’s much harder not to think about tumblr posts or those Twitter threads that get very popular (although there are a lot of bots on twitter, trust me…), and it’s especially difficult to ignore it when it’s specifically directed at you. But the only thing that these people deserve is a good ol’ block and (if they’re getting too offensive and abusive) a report for harassment. The thing is, their opinion doesn’t matter: it won’t change SnK’s story, it won’t affect its success and popularity, it doesn’t affect anything other than our mood (temporarily lol). Because they aren’t critics who actually give a flying fuck about the subject matter, they’re just random assholes with a hateboner for SnK, who sit in their echochamber and discuss the same shit over and over again. And if they’re “fans” of the SnK, it’s just them “consuming it critically” 🙄 such a convenient phrase and so easy to abuse.

If we think about these accusations again… they’re so damn nonsensical, it’s almost amazing. I’m not going to reread it or to make a proper counterpoint article out of this ask, so this is just based on how we remember these accusations.

Like, what part of SnK approves and pushes the idea of imperialism in any way? When the entire idea of the story is that war is bad? When people like Onyankopon, whose homeland was invaded by Marley, exist? And it’s never portrayed as a good thing? Having only one country dominating the world’s situation is literally the main reason why everyone’s suffering??

And come to think of it, Isayama is one of the few manga artists to kind of sort of openly critique Japan: he literally drew Kiyomi losing her cool and drooling while thinking about all the profit and wealth she would get from the deal with Paradis. Why do people never talk about that? What is it, if not a critique of greedy and two-faced nature of people from Azumabito clan, who are heavily implied to represent Japan? I don’t read a lot of manga in general, but do you know how many mangakas I’ve seen who directly talked shit about Japan while being Japanese? Two. Excluding Isayama.

Isayama is clearly invested in the Western culture and he understands the World’s History. He understands that political relationships are complex and that there are no “bad” or “good” countries. I don’t want to make assumptions about how much perspective of the world’s relationships the average person from Japan has, but I still feel like Yams has a pretty good understanding of it. He did his research for the subject matter, and while it’s obviously not perfect, it’s clearly there.

These people also claim that SnK is anti-Korean and anti-Semitic, but if Hetalia had taught me anything, it is that if the story has or used to have any anti-Korean undertones, the Korean readers wouldn’t want to have anything to do with it. They would be the first people to ditch the manga, they would be the first people to critique SnK, and rightfully so. They burnt Uniqlo clothes, their overall domestic policy is pretty anti-Japanese, so there’re literally zero reasons for them not to destroy SnK if they see it as anti-Korean. But the size of the Korean SnK fandom suggests otherwise, doesn’t it.

And the “big noses = Jewish caricature” argument, seriously? How anti-Semitic can you get? Who the fuck looks at people and goes “oh, those have big noses, bet they’re caricature of Jews”?? Sorry I’m getting heated lol The argument about “Asian artists portray Westerners with prominent noses because that’s what we look like to them” has been done a lot of times, I’m not going to go over than again.

And god forbid Isayama to use Germany and Europe to draw a story where his characters are (approximately) Germans and Europeans! Let’s go fetch our pitchforks to punish Isayama for using their aesthetic to make his story look more believable and authentic, right? “Oh, those areas where they hold Eldians resemble places from real life”, like no shit???? Ofc they would??? That’s what references for making the story more grounded are used for??? If I were to write a story about a fictional place based on a real one that I don’t live in, I’d use some visual references to help me to make it more believable??? Why do I even need to explain that?

In my previous post I talked about the armbands and ghetto and stuff, but I’ll reiterate: even if there are thematic similarities, it doesn’t mean that the story mirrors our history. And it doesn’t mean that there is an analogy, since Eldian’s situation is quiiiite different than what Jewish people had to go through. It’s just thematic similarities. And it still doesn’t plant any specific idea in the reader’s head, other than “having people shoved into ghettos with 0 civil rights is a horrible thing”, and I can’t comprehend what’s anti-Semitic or imperialistic about it. Also I’m sorry, but nazis are not the only people who genocided a bunch of people, breaking news. Nor did they invent armbands. Same goes for Japan in WWII.

And now for my favourite argument: Erwin is nazi because his name is Erwin and he was born on the same day than some nazi guy died… I won’t even talk about why this idea is hilariously stupid, I just want to appreciate the level of nitpicking that’s going on here.

So… yeah. People who have nothing else to do but to complain about the show they hate don’t matter. And people who consider themselves a part of the SnK fandom and still say this bs (yep, there are people who do that) are huge hypocrites. The heck are they doing in this fandom then?? Of course, any story is up to interpretation, but this is so backwards?

Sorry for rambling so much… anyways. We’re happy enough not to encounter any hate related to this topic, but we think it’s because we ship Ereri and people already hate us for that, so the majority of shit we get is related to that, I guess we’re a lost cause for them. We’ll see if anything happens after this post though.

But once again, I’m very sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember that this isn’t personal at all, and people who harass strangers on the internet just want to flex their high moral ground while acting like complete assholes. You don’t have to explain anything to them, you don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to listen to them or give them any attention. I hope you’ll never stumble upon anything like this; but if you ever do, please block them, don’t even bother reading their attempts at “educate” you. Isn’t worth it.

Please have a good day, Tish. And everyone who’s reading this reply.

#replies

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years

Text

Witcher Of The Night (Chapter 10)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 9

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Geralt has found a djinn as your ticket for your way home. Though, some conditions doomed his fate. Your confession for the witcher got him climbing down towards the goal of sending you away; reconsidering what could happen when you stay for a week or maybe more. Howbeit, your panic-stricken confession lead into unlocking the Djinn out of its confinement and thus, leading you into becoming one possessed human and giving Geralt factual reasons as to why he was destined to you.

Warnings: Possessed reader. A gushing reader who managed to accidentally confess her feelings for the witcher. Upset Cirilla. Weird shit going on. Soft, hardheaded but smiley and frustrated Geralt all at once. A VERY MUCH NOT accurate words of Elder speech. AHONHONHON. I’m sorry in advance. Mention of blood. LOTS of Geralt Gif’s because…why not?

Words: 5.9k

A/N: You’ll have tension on the next chapters. When I mean tension, I mean sexual tension. I can hear y'all screaming and waiting for this moment to shine. HAHAHHAHAHA. I hope the wait is worth it.

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE!

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren’t from moi as well. GIF’s INCLUDED ARE CREDITED TO THOSE WHO MADE THEM! I DO NOT OWN THEM!

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

You understood everything now. Very perfectly. Geralt was acting weirdly soft to you because he was finally throwing you away.

That was a more reasonable explanation to his sudden supple treatment towards you as you remembered how he was avoiding you the day before you were captured by those asshats. Though, it stopped there. He saved you and that was it. That was the only thing you remembered aside from the blurry image of you confessing something heartfelt to the witcher as he carried you to send you off to some healer.

You didn’t tell him anything ridiculous, didn’t you?

Those cheeky, dashing smiles he tries to give whenever he catches you staring made you narrow your eyes once you timidly avoided his beams like a blushing baby.

He was probably just happy that you were going to be out of his majestic hair once you wish for a genie to take you back home. It hurts to know that the witcher was happy and basically twerking inside his head about shooing you away.

Truly, your heart was feeling heavy because of it. The heavy feeling being brought as you had your steady hike with his family. Those lips that were jutted out in a pout was ineradicable even till the moment you’ve arrived at a tranquil looking lake.

Geralt took notice of your vexatious pout that was permanently carved as he threw the fishnet out in the lake. Dismissing your attitude with a faint shake of his head at the wonder why you were looking downright dejected when it was finally the time you could go home and leave the havoc that you were in.

“So, a Djinn is a fish? Since you’re using a fish net…” he’d heard you question the bard that was leaning on a dead tree, arms crossed like an executive in some company as he watched Geralt trawl for your Djinn. The witcher tugged on the rope of the fishnet and pulled; seeing no pitcher yet that had a Djinn and only an empty bottle of wine that was thrown out in the lake. He frustratingly exhaled a breath and ceaselessly tossed the fishnet back in the water.

Cirilla and Kolby were crouching down beside the swamp as they were playing with the water in their hands. Patiently waiting for whatever you were finding.

“Haven’t you heard of genies?” Jaskier bellowed, making your eyebrows twist together in ire for his attitude. You crossed your arm and gave yourself a second before a loud cajole left your lips, “—The mystical creatures that grant you three wishes?”

Your frowning self promptly turned the opposite as you remembered a movie that you’ve loved back in your laptop, “Oh! The one from Aladdin! Will the Genie come out of it? Is it a smoke of blue?!”

The bard let out a perceptible loud sigh, eyes focused at the witcher who was mindlessly cussing to himself for finding his Djinnie-Djinn-Djinn that took three hours already. He gave you a look that consisted of abounding judgement.

You shrugged to yourself; dusting off his sarcasm, “I suppose not,”

“—The last time it came out, it attacked my throat and gave me the ill-fate of having no voice to talk nor sing. I’ve been brought to a healer—thanks to Geralt and his selfless virtue, and been brought to an orgy which eventually; Yennefer–” Jaskier’s chatters were ceased by Geralt’s stern tone that echoed a meter away as he was hauling over his fishnet, audibly groaning as he felt something heavy that has been caught.

He hoped it was no monster or anything.

“That’s enough, Bard.”

Jaskier leaned off the dead tree, hands on either side of his hips as he looked offended by always being cut-off in the middle of his chitter-chatters with you, “Why do you always cut me off when it’s about the mage from Vengerberg?” a teasing pause. “—It’s like you don’t want me mentioning about her because the small rat is around,”

The witcher gave no response other than a displeased hum, not giving his amber eyes while the fish net dripped as he dragged it out to see some type of vase that had a peculiar seal, “Hmm.”

He’d heard a clap and it was from the bard, “Oh, a pitcher! It’s the Djinn!” before his voice suddenly upturned into a softer tone like he was avoiding something. The leaves crumpled beneath his shoe as you felt Jaskier discreetly side stepped away from you or everyone like a frog in the mud, “I’m just going to…give you space and peace like you hoped for,”

The message was for Geralt as he slowly but surely hid behind a tree where Cirilla and Kolby was. A distance which is still coherent for him to hear you both from a distance. You’ve eyed him like he was going loco when he gave a thumbs up behind the tree and peeked with only his head showing to the both of you, a beam on show.

“Don’t forget to make three wishes when the harsh wind hits you! Also, make it fast so it doesn’t thwack you in the neck!”

Geralt held onto the pitcher, inspecting a different seal in his hands. Much more different than the one they had decades ago. It was an eight figure hand clustered in a circle with random stars all over.

“Are you sure this wouldn’t be a snake in the grass, Geralt?” the witcher heard the bard speak from behind the tree, loud enough for you to hear his question thrown. There was a moment of silence as Geralt studied the pitcher a lot more closely, trying to understand and remember what the seal meant.

He’d finally taken the chance to voice out to the bard in a gruff tone, “As long as she doesn’t wish for anything that would mutilate anyone,”

You gave them looks; back and forth as they went on to their talk like you weren’t there with them. It’s not like you could understand whatever magic or terms they were even talking about. This was the problem for living in a world that you weren’t familiar with; not a single thing that you were used to besides the cooking. Other than that, their world was living in history that you somehow didn’t wish to have lived in.

With magic even involved in their lives like it was a normal thing.

“What if this backfires, Geralt? You know..like it would give her a tumor in the neck and then you’ll go find a healer again and—” Jaskier cut his sentence in haste when the witcher gave him a scolding glare. He’d shut his mouth, contemplating on what his next words would be.

“—You sure it’ll give her what she wants?”

“It can grant the most far-fetched wishes,”

“So, when you wished for peace prior to that day; giving me tumor is the best idea for your Djinn?”

Geralt gave him a mocking smile, one that consists that his patience was wearing thin again for the talkative bard who asks too much questions like he was the person who came from another world and not you, “But, it quite helped, didn’t it?”

The bard rolled his eyes back at him, puffing out a breath as he emerged behind the tree and leaned his shoulders on the dry wood; his face contorting in anxiety as he saw Kolby crouched in front who was giving him those puppy eyes.

You were too engrossed from their talk and didn’t notice Geralt who was now in front of you; handing over the pitcher where a Djinn was kept.

“As long as she’s the master, the Djinn won’t hurt her.” he reassured for you; feeling your agitation take over as you were realizing that there was a risk that their genie could hurt you. Though, those glowing eyes of his that resting on you; giving an unfamiliar tenderness of his gaze was simply telling you that it won’t happen.

But, the stingy feeling inside your heart wasn’t helping those warmth within his eyes.

“Make your wish, Midget.” he simply said, dropping his gaze for a second before returning back on your glum filled eyes, “—Once unbarred and has three of your wishes, the djinn is set free,”

You loosely held onto the pitcher like you were hesitant. It was there now. Your way for home. One of the options that can get you coming back from where you came from. Away from their chaotic world that had too many fremd explanations about their way of living other than earth where having a stable job was the only problem you had.

Not for the fear of monsters and people selling you off to some duke or king.

“—and…you are also..” the witcher drawled out his words, seeming to be in deep thought as his features turned stony and inexplainable, “—free. Back to where you came from,”

He sounded like he was choking when the witcher continued his speech; or maybe it was just you who wanted to think he actually didn’t want you leaving?

Shocking to say, you actually didn’t want to. His family was extraordinaire and caring. The type where they wouldn’t blink just to save you from danger even if it would involve them bleeding to death.

Geralt’s family was one of a kind. Thus, you realize how much of a family you had back in earth. A family who let you work overseas to help them in their lives as you work your ass off so they could pay their bills. It’s not that you weren’t thankful that they’ve taken care of you when you were a kid and even paid for your college fees, but sometimes working abroad can be depressing when you have no one around.

No one to hold and share your sadness with.

“What if I…” Wish to stay? your thoughts were in a mess. You trailed off and anxiously bit the insides of your cheeks as Geralt waited for you to finish your sentence. Yet, you clicked your tongue and changed what you wanted to say instead, “—What if it hurts me? As much as how it did to Jaskier?”

Geralt’s shook his head, frowning as he does so, “I won’t let that happen, midget.”

The way he said it; soft and reassuring like he promised that this option you had involves no pain. Leading you into yearning for something that seemed to be unreachable and utterly fantastical for it to happen in reality. That is; if their world was really your reality.

Nevertheless, you could feel every sorts of emotions and feelings. It was frustrating you to the point of being unreasonable by wanting to stay.

Jaskier faintly smiled as the bard realized what you were already holding. This was it. The last time to have you around. He was indecisive about it despite of him not wanting to welcome you warmly on the first day since you were hunted by an Alghoul. However, it seems like the latter had a change of heart and actually began to appreciate your annoying, little presence. Definitely like a cute rat that he probably feeds when nobody is looking.

“Should I bid you a goodbye right now?” he solemnly muttered as he fidgeted with his fingers. An action he does when he was anxious or thinking about something. You gave him back a gloomy smile and felt your chest feel even more heavier than it ever did.

The princess had her nose scrunched to its extent. Eyebrows furrowed in total bewilderment as she was trying to understand what was happening behind her back. “Why do we need to say farewell? To whom?”

Jaskier mustered up the courage to tell her, expecting for another set of her tantrums because of the sudden decision that Geralt has made for you, “—To Y/N.”

With just two words, it was enough for the princess to squeak and protest, completely objecting at the plan ahead as she gave the witcher a furious glare. “What? Geralt!”

She’d hopped forward against the muddy ground, hissing as she does so while Jaskier tried to catch her but she was too quick for him to slide away from. Geralt heard her heavy marches, closing his eyes in fatigue and stress as he murmured, “I shouldn’t have brought you both with me,”

It took five seconds for Cirilla’s steam to blow like a train; throwing angered protests at the witcher that was bound to protect her till the day she dies, “How dare you not tell me this?! I demand for her not to leave!”

“Princess.” Geralt firmly stated, a sigh leaving his lips as he does so and continued, “She doesn’t belong here,”

“I don’t want her to leave!”

“She belongs to her rightful dimension,”

Cirilla gave out a frustrated huff of her breath, snobbishly crossing her arms before the witcher as she gave him a scowl, “Don’t act like I didn’t see you both together in your bed last night, hugging her to sleep!”

Jaskier blinked repeatedly at that; giving the witcher a double take and also making you narrow your eyes at them from what they were pointing out.

The princess knew. She knew what she saw when she wanted to check if you were already awake yet and saw Geralt sleeping like a baby. Beside you with an arm surrounding you close as his palms rested along the middle of your back; intentionally avoiding the wounds before it could even open up itself.

It was the first time she ever saw the witcher having to sleep like a deadbeat without waking up due to his heightened senses because she tried to peek. He was completely vulnerable and seemed like to be in deep slumber; cuddling another person in his arms like it was his comfort.

“Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon.” Geralt snarled, giving her the sharp eyes as and a tone that tells her to stop before he doesn’t talk to her for weeks end. He’d used her full name for the first time in forever and simply to say; Geralt was pissed.

Cirilla’s voice wavered, feeling her throat run dry and eyes seem to appear cloudy as she took in Geralt’s hostility towards the truth that has been said. He was always like this, pushing people away when he seemed to feel like they were finally having a connection; fearing for being attached and for what outcomes it may bring.

“You are certainly an idiot, Geralt.”

The witcher’s nose flared in discontent, her narks immediately went straight to his head as he wore a nasty scowl; letting the irritation straight out of his mouth as he starts spitting ire at everyone who seemed to make his life a little more difficult, “Are you done talking shit now?”

The princess went on with her glares, peering up at the witcher with a piercing glint of her eyes, “You never fail to disappoint me,”

“Thank you, Princess. I always do plan to disappoint people. Comes in becoming a witcher,” was the only sarcastic remark that the witcher managed to reply with a rough grouse and an obvious roll of his eyes.

In between their heated argument, Jaskier even had the guts to butt in like what he always do; his face sketched in opposition for the sudden decision at hand like Geralt wanted it done in haste, “Do you really need to go back? I mean, I’ve talked to Geralt about it last night! He’s just one stubborn witcher and trying to push you away because he’s scared of being attached! We can always keep your Djinnie-Djinn-Djinn and just use it when you feel like going home—”

The latter was harshly cut off by a gruff sputter of Geralt’s warning, “Bard.” his nose flared even more, “—Will you fucking shut up? Even just for a minute?”

You didn’t know what to do. Everyone was telling you not to do it yet, even your heart as well. It was crazy, to even choose between living in a dimension that was full of peril or a world where it keeps you depressed because something was hugely missing in your life back in earth.

There was someone intensely staring at your face and you knew it was the angered witcher, no doubt because he seemed like he wanted you away already, “Wish for what your heart desires, midget.” he lowly hissed and gave a nasty grimace to the two pair of people who was strongly ceasing the progression of you going home to where you belong.

Everybody didn’t dare to make any form of noise except for the Hirikka who was looking at you in curiosity; never knowing what was going on. Jaskier shook his head in disappointment at the witcher, giving him a look that was pure of dissatisfaction and it was the first time that the bard ever did. He was trying to make Geralt feel guilty for his decisions or whatsoever.

“Final words for us before you go, small rat?”

Your heart was downright heavy as you began to send off your final messages to the people who did nothing but be kind enough for letting you stay despite of not knowing who you are. You gave Cirilla a look full of warmth, faintly smiling back at the princess who was now sobbing because the only person whom she felt a different type of connection was now leaving. The idea of not being able to see you again because you didn’t belong to their world was giving her distraught as you were the only person she connected with that involved with a woman’s touch.

“To Cirilla,” you choked in your own words, feeling the hesitance in your throat as you evidently swallowed. “—Hey, don’t cry. You’re going to be the strongest and bravest woman I can ever know. With a witcher by your side, he’ll mold you into becoming a better person as well,”

Your voice was faltering like a thin sheet of paper. Silently, the witcher stared; feeling the heat of his gaze grazing on the side of your face as you continued to bid your goodbyes.

“Jaskier,” an acknowledge that made the bard scoff with a forced grin, trying to make the situation lighter for everyone, “I know you’re utterly enamoured by my singing, small rat. Now is the perfect time for your confession!”

You managed to roll your eyes a him, “Keep annoying everyone. I hope Kolby bites you in your sleep,”

“I shall die a brokenhearted man!”

Last but not the least, a message for the witcher who has always been saving you like a knight in shining armor. An expected knight in your fantasies.

Never even expecting to like him in a way that you wondered how it would be like to be his lover. Nonetheless, the thought was a blur because he wasn’t just a mere human. He was a mutated one and a person who takes his job very seriously as a monster-slayer.

Maybe being his other half would be pretty much an adventure.

“Geralt,” you turned your heel to face him, considering the distance that he was an arm away from you. He’d given you an apathetic gaze, masking in whatever he was feeling right now as you couldn’t see right through him as of the moment, “—I’ve seen this in the movies too much and I understand why you’re handling everything in silence,”

He was just that type of person. You knew because there has been lots of people you’ve encountered who had his type of personality and you understood his character completely.

Hence, the type of person he was needed care because they weren’t used to people caring for them. He needed the conciliatory affection because he craves for it even though he hardly says he don’t; and even when he does receives it, the brightest way to do it is to push that person away because he knew he didn’t deserve the tender care.

“You’re no monster for me,” you genuinely spoke with all your heart. Geralt’s stoic expression seeming to waver as you’ve given him a look of appreciation for everything he did for you, “—You’ll never be because I know you have a good heart,”

He gazed at you even longer than he should, eyebrows in a pained twist that created a frown etched on his face. What were you even saying? Your mind was literally a ball of yarn right now as you stand in front of him; thoughts flying elsewhere as you started to panic because you wanted something off your chest before you go. Permanently.

Therefore, your mind thought it was the right moment to confess such feelings that you knew it wouldn’t ever be said once you go back, you snapped your head away as you cringed for your stupidity, “—andthatIlikeyoubutnobodyneedstoknowthatbecauseIneverconfessedtoanymanever! Like really really like you. My heart is just–just pounding like a drum whenever you’re around—”

It was fast. A mere whisper of your heart being a YOLO little bitch by speaking out your feelings like a crazed woman offering some type of sacrifice as you were citing spells to your own; that type of fast talking that won’t get any normal person to understand the heck you wanted to comprehend.

You were idiotic enough to forget that he wasn’t any type of normal.

Geralt’s hum seem to stop your panicking mental state. His hum sounded perplexed and utterly…amused.

You swallowed the nervous jitters down your throat before opening an eye to see him cocking his head to the side, judging your embarrassed self and probably judging you from even confessing despite knowing it would be a one-sided affection from the witcher.

“Midget.” you’ve heard your conscience speaking to you, his tone somewhat quieter but still in that gruff voice of his that made your insides tingle. Your eyes was squinted shut as you looked away, avoiding his stares and went on with your audible monologue, “Oh my God, I should’ve wished first before confessing like a lovestruck high school girl,”

Geralt couldn’t help but subtly clear his throat. You always never fail to amaze him in terms of your panicking, clumsy gestures. He raised a surprised brow, thoroughly understanding what has happened prior to your rants.

“Midget.”

“You didn’t hear anything!” you squealed and held onto the handle of the Djinn, furiously tapping it with your index finger in sheer embarrassment for the failed confession. The witcher clicked his tongue, shifting on his own burly weight and keeping his teeth together as he tried to think of an answer to your sudden confession.

“Hmm.”

“What do you mean hmm? IT WAS JUST A WHISPER!?”

Jaskier had his forehead furrowed in utter curiosity, just hearing the soft mumbles and your yelping kept his curiosity at bay. Yet, he’d heard you screaming, “Small rat, don’t you know that witchers have heightened senses and he understood you a lot? Probably even hear your heart pounding fast every time you’re—”

You’ve snapped your eyes open, realizing you were covering your face away from the witcher who was faintly smirking down at you with an unfathomable twinkle in his eyes that weirded you out. However, Jaskier’s words seeming to whack you in the head for being stupid and not asking more for what the witcher’s abilities consists of.

“Wait, what? He can even hear my—I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT!” His super hearing caught you off-guard. You didn’t expect that he had that kind of skill because all you knew was that he was strong and exceptionally good at using his swords.

Well, the news definitely shocked you to the core. You were mouthing words at Jaskier as the bard narrowed his eyes back, not understanding a thing from your silent mouthing of words as you wanted the ground to eat you alive. “WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME, THEN?!”

Your hostile reactions was surely bewildering the bard, “Why? What did you tell him, Y/N?”

“Midget.”

You’ve heard Geralt’s stern baritone pitch of his, thus igniting a fast shake of your head as you could feel the heat travelling up in your face like a jet plane, ignoring the witcher who stood tall before you, “NOTHING, Jaskier! I’m so stupid!”

“Your reaction doesn’t mean nothing…”

The discomfort was making you deal with a lot of things. Rejection, anxiety and being a butter finger. Your eyes caught the Djinn wrapped around your fingers as you tried to cover your face from the witcher. So, you’ve did the inevitable and ungracefully held onto the seal before giving Geralt a once over.

Hence, you didn’t know what he was thinking when he suddenly ceased your wrists from doing so.

His bright amber eyes looked at you in warning, meeting yours in a reluctant shadow of his emotions when you’ve held onto the seal looking like he had a change of heart and didn’t want it to happen.

Maybe, it wasn’t too bad to let you stay for a little more while. Just a week or maybe more. His consciousness spoke at the back of his Ivory head. He wanted to make sure of something; if it was really destiny trying to play with his emotions for whatever bullcrap he was feeling when he’d heard your confession.

“Midget!” roughly scolded Geralt as he’d realized you already had opened the seal before he even stopped you. Jaskier had Cirilla and Kolby behind a far end tree as they watched you both struggle from trying to open the Djinn prior to your confession.

Both of you held onto the seal. Eyes locked onto each other; his in utmost dismay and worry as the pitcher was ajar from the seal, currently unimpeded from its body. Then, there was a strong ripple of the brisk wind clawing down your feet, crawling up the curves of your bodice in a way that could frighten you because it was not any normal.

The whistle of the wind came in with hushed voices that you couldn’t understand nor recognized. An invisible phantom of cold fingers reaching your head like it wanted to crush your skull as the voices whispered louder; like a spell that you couldn’t comprehend.

Your knees were giving up from the pain it wanted to bestow. Those eyelids of yours fluttering shut as the spirit was trying to suck on the energy you only had. But, you didn’t flop on the ground as you could feel tangible warmth surrounding your body; not letting you fall nor letting go.

The cluster of wind became stronger. You’ve heard him yell back, keeping you as close as he can and felt strong, calloused fingers grab onto the side of your face; shaking you awake as he kept you standing still, “Make your wish!” he loudly demanded amongst the rustle of everything.

The pitcher loosely lost its touch from you as it fell to the ground. A wish. You needed to make wishes. Your eyes drooped, blinking in a daze as your vision caught the only thing in your fore sight.

A medallion. His medallion. A witcher’s medallion that was currently vibrating on his chest like something alarming was happening or was nearby.

“I-I wish…” you whispered more so to yourself, hearing the witcher groan out loud as he tried hard to keep you still. The force trying to keep you both apart but Geralt wasn’t backing down nor did he plan on letting go.

Jaskier, Cirilla and Kolby had their palms over their ears from the harsh wind encircling them. Keeping still behind the huge Oak tree. Then, the winds abruptly ceased as they were crouched behind for cover.

You were unconscious for one second; your whole weight given to the witcher as he had an arm on the small of your back, your face tightly smothered on his hairy chest that you awfully find endearing and pleasing. You’ve inhaled a long breath like you weren’t given oxygen, batting your eyelashes up at the witcher who was supporting all your weight with his strength.

A listless look for the witcher was all it took for him to narrow his eyes back at you, checking for any signs that you weren’t you. Though, none. You were okay and…you were still there with them.

The bard peeked his head out, checking what happened when he seen you with complete limbs and being hugged by the witcher himself. Jaskier shrugged to whatever the hell happened and hollered, “Well, that was pretty much an anticlimax for the second time.”

Gently, the witcher pulled you away from him. His strong fingers clasped upon your shoulders as he eyed you very seriously. The sudden shift of the wind keeping him uneasy as he didn’t trusted the harmless process of having your wishes. “What did you wish for, Midget?”

You shook your head from the delicate pain in your head; sighing as you wearily told him, trying to give him a smile that appeared thoroughly forced because you kept on wincing and holding onto your temples, “Don’t wishes shouldn’t be told? Because it never comes true when it does? Especially when you wish upon the stars? I’m not telling it—”

Your words were cut short by a shrilling scream that made Jaskier, Cirilla and Kolby jumped from behind their tree; hastily striding to where you were. “Stay back!” the latter ceased them from coming any closer as you fell on the ground, back flat and your back arched in a horrifying way.

The veins in your throat was throbbing as you felt pain in the valley of your breast. A part that was scorching hot like you were being burnt alive. You painfully whimpered as your body felt fluid, desperately grasping onto your chest to relieve the pain or try to take off whatever causes it but there was none.

You yelped another loud scream; feeling it boring holes inside your body and in your heart. Geralt hurriedly knelt in panic, the panic suddenly crashing him like a freight train as his face was stern in confusion. He’d held onto the side if your neck, his thumb stroking your jaw which got you hissing as the pain incredibly added another; like a gas to the flames as you’ve moaned from the intolerable pain.

“Cáerme,” You’ve suddenly hushed, hearing the unfamiliar voices violently ruining your peace; making everything hurt as you whispered it out loud.

The witcher couldn’t help but stare you down in ponder and utter worry. He heard you. A word that sounded familiar but he didn’t quite understand as it only took a person who was an expertise in it that could interpret the words you started to say.

“Saov,” Geralt’s breath hitched, golden eyes agape and his expression in thorough shock as he tried shaking your body to wake you up from whatever is trying to possess you.

It was like fighting for something you could never see.

“Y/N!”

Amber eyes. Chalky white hair. A distinguishable face was the only image in your head as you could hear Geralt’s angered voice screaming ‘no!’ in the background; a blurry image sketched inside your head as he was fighting knights and unfamiliar people surrounding his family who came with him.

Including you.

With Jaskier and Cirilla who had blood staining their clothes as the night swallows her loud cries.

“Raenn,”

Despite of the witcher’s warning, the bard scooted off to where you were; dragging Cirilla with him as Kolby trailed like a pup. Howling at the same time as you screamed once more, “Geralt, what’s happening?!”

You’ve suddenly snapped your eyes opened as you threw your head back, the color of your eyes giving Jaskier a fright as he also knelt before you, his eyes bulging out of his eye sockets as he saw black. Raven black.

“Certainly not the small rat!” the bard shrieked before pulling away from peering down at you, falling onto his back as he gave Geralt a once over.

His brawny physique was crouched beside you, his wild, disheveled hair framing his face as he loudly groaned out loud like he was also in deep pain, seeming to hold onto his chest like he was having a toxic heart attack.

“Aep.”

Your words. It was used for magic and spells. Next thing Geralt knows is that he was suddenly pushed off the ground, his back hitting the ground with a loud thud as he felt phantom fingers keeping him steady and still. He harshly breathed through his nose, struggling with the force that was keeping him down.

Though, to no use; he couldn’t. It was some sort of potent spirit.

“Yn.”

Every word you say was filling vile inside his chest. It hurt as much as you did. But, he could withstand the pain more than you do as he was roughly growling beneath his chest.

“Geralt?!” Jaskier and Cirilla yelled out in chorus when they’ve seen him get hauled back by some unforeseen creature. Their focal point on Geralt that they didn’t notice you hurriedly crawling towards the witcher like a possessed woman.

You sat on his shredded, prominent torso once you’ve reached the witcher, tilting your head to the side as your eyes were completely pitch black. His eyelids fell shut once he was dragged down; Geralt was unconscious. You’ve held a palm in front of his face before uttering one last speech that certainly didn’t come from yourself. It was a bedevilled version of you that had no control over your system.

“Vatt'ghern.”

With that, you’ve leaned down very closely to his face. Warm breath hitting his face as you were tilting your head like a single strand of string can only be passed onto both of your lips together. The witcher sighed as he does so, face in a peaceful state as an unpredictable line of dark smoke escaped your lips, streaming down his ajar lips of the witcher who was down and unconscious.

Jaskier and Cirilla couldn’t move. They were dumbstruck at the scene that unfolded before them. All of your energy was taken from you as the possession has started and so, you’ve dropped dead on the ground. Closely beside Geralt as a blurry vision of you dropping on the rocky ground in the night sky ended your consciousness.

It was a blurry image that had you seeing Geralt run over for you, his face covered in grime and blood as he appeared to be on the verge of crying.

As your head fell on the ground with a soft thud; without warning, the witcher snapped his eyes open. Thick, robust fingers grasping onto his medallion that laid on his sturdy, bewhiskered chest. His eyelids drooping in total weary as he remembered a short event that concluded when he’d shortly fallen off in unconsciousness; giving him a dream as to why you were bound to him; destined to be with him forever.

The witcher saw a future with you. It wasn’t just any ordinary dream that he had because this time; he was euphoric in it. Utterly happy and smiling with you in the picture.

Destiny really never fails to fuck him hard for the second damn time.

YES. THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVE CHAPTERS THAT I’VE WRITTEN. Guess what midget wished for?

Taglist: @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer @marvelousell @kingniazx @angelias134 @tapismyforte @chook007

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cat-sapphics · 3 years

Note

Helloooo I just got into dsmp, kinda. I found heaps of fan art on here & decided to check it out! anyway I just saw ur blog and I’m interested in ur opinions, like the general fandom . also in ur about you talk about having strong opinions of who we should support, I’d love to hear!! or even if u have any posts about it lol. have a good day

hi anon!! dsmp is a big focus of my blog but it's not the main and it's only casual, not dedicated or anything, so i can try to help you but you may wanna check out bigger more well-known blogs instead. :,)

but anyway, to start - if you're gonna be on dsmpblr, these were the posts i saved from a while back when i first gave them a read: [X] [X] [X] [X] [X] and also @smp-boundaries is a good blog to skim through for cc boundaries (that's important).

i'll warn you that dsmp analysis here gets incredibly long, complex, and overwhelming - in a good way of course, but i'm neurodivergent and have to be in the mood for it lol. i don't do much of that, but i'll reblog such posts sometimes.

in addition to that, the lore is MASSIVELY long and it just majorly started up again this past weekend consecutively until now after another one of their random long unexplained (but i can guess why) hiatuses. i got into it just about a year ago and it was already a lot of catching-up to do, but i guess the difficulty depends on if you want a summary or to be an expert on the timestamps and quotes of every available VOD. some really good, easily-navigable, organized sources for either, imo, would be [these] [four] [carrds] [here].

my personal advice is a little less so, lmao. as silly as it sounds, i would say just go with the flow and learn and build from there. follow basic tags (linked above with all the Xs), reblog those posts, follow blogs you look through and like, and as you build your dash with analysis, fanart, and general fandom-esque posts, you'll have a platform, even if it's only small. that's what i did and it worked i guess, so i don't know of anything better to do. maybe someone who reads the tags can add on, absolutely anyone with experience may feel free.

ALSO, i just remembered that you mentioned all the drama and discourse and my opinions - only participate if you have the energy and patience and like... actually care and want to. seriously. it's not fun if you don't feel like you have the upper hand and honestly i was only drawn to it because of all the unhealthy internet drama i've been in constantly since i was 12 or 13. but yeah, basically either way just stay away from twitter for a chance at a good experience is pretty much how to sum it all up. if you want to know more from *me*, i did mention in my about that my tag for that on this blog is #pridecat hates mcyttwt. i guess you could learn some of the controversy from that, but just looking up tags in general tumblr like #dsmp discourse, #mcyt discourse, #mcyt drama, #techno drama, #schlatt drama, #tommy neg, #dsmp antis, etc. would have a broader range of ideas. i like it here because most dsmp fans seem to have some common sense and mostly agree that it's all ridiculous and enraging.

apologies for the low-effort and lack of knowledge anon, but you did ask me so i tried my best lololololol i hope it's enough and understandable at least

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

Audio

Playlist Feels

Member: *That one vlive where the members introduced themselves* SAAN

Genre: Angst (what’s new), *TW* a dash of depression/rape, a teaspoon of smutty i guess, cause it’s san...

Word Count: 1.8k

This was where you last expected yourself to be. This was where you never wanted to be, but yet, here you were.

The loud, booming music was echoing in the crooks and crannies of your head, the bass throbbing against your brain in corners you never knew existed. People were shoving their way around you, someone was stepping on the back of your shoes. The smell of alcohol was the only thing you could smell besides the growing odor of sweat could’ve made you gag because it was in your head and heart that you hated clubs. You hated drinking.

But something had taken over you tonight, the emptiness that filled the void in your stomach, the gaping hole in your heart that you had finally given up trying to mend. You weren’t an avid drinker, so downing two shots of pure vodka from the bottle you thought was a good idea to order was enough to help you let go.

Red, blue, green and white lights flashes in your eyes as you struggled to your feet from the counter you were sitting alone at. The bartender was looking at you with nonchalant eyes, waiting for you to pop the question.

“take care of the vodka for me, will you? thanks,” You snorted, feeling some bit of the vodka travelling back up your throat and into the back of your throat. your chest was on fire and your fingertips was numb. you could barely feel the soles of your feet because the heeled boots were killing you, but you couldn’t really care less.

you were already on the dance floor, and some random guy was finding your hips with stone cold fingers, and frankly, you couldn’t even be bothered to notice his face. all you knew was that you couldn’t care anymore about what happened to you. you were forced on once, and your sex life had been used against you before in another relationship, so whatever this fucktard thought of doing to you... there was nothing else to lose.

“hey... why don’t we go some place else?” you heard his low, voice, and it motivated to turn yourself around to meet his face. he was too tall, standing at maybe 1.8 metres, the question throwing you back a year to when you first met the most important person in your life right now.

“hey, why don’t we get out of here? you don’t look too well.”

you snort at yourself, now picking up on the stark contrast between the two questions. one was filled with concern, and the other one just wanted to get in your pants, but you didn’t care, did you?

“okay, let me just get--”

you were interrupted mid sentence in the form of someone grabbing your wrist, yanking you out of the crowd and away from the tall man who could’ve been your new route of escape.

“my vodka!”

san turned and glared at you with dark eyes, his mouth was sealed shut but you could tell he was pressing his jaws together extremely tight because you could see his temples hardening and the muscle in the back of his jaw flexing.

“i paid for it, you piece of shit, at least let me bring it home,” you groaned, trying to writhe out of his grasp but to no avail. san refused to let go, only pulling you to the counter and searching the surface for a bottle that would probably look like it hasn’t been open. the bartender sees you with san, and gestures to the bottle.

san had your wrist trapped in the hold of one hand, and the other, tightly holding the neck of the vodka bottle as he pulled you out of the underground club with force.

“why the fuck are you here?!” you nearly scream once you were out of the space. you shoved him aside, only for him to grab your arm again and pull you to the car parked in the alley next to the building where the underground club was located.

“fucking-- let me go!” you whined and thrashed about, completely forgetting that though san wasn’t a very tall man, he was physically much stronger than you. thrashing and flailing your arms weren’t loosening his grip on you whatsoever.

san finally reached the car, practically having dragged you nearly a hundred metres from the entrance of the club to the extra parking space. he slammed the bottle of vodka on the roof of the car, not caring if the bottle shattered or dented the car, all he knew was that he was upset, angry, frustrated.

“what are you doing here? we agreed you would never come here unless you were with someone. unless you are with me.” he nearly throws your arm back to you like it didn’t belong to you. you winced and rubbed the area of skin and flesh he had his death grip on.

“the hell do you care?”

“excuse me? why wouldn’t i?” san had this mixture of confusion and anger pressed into his eyes. san was usually happy and cheerful when you saw him, so seeing him like this was difficult to swallow. you couldn’t help but to start asking yourself if it was truly your fault for making him angry.

“you shouldn’t be here...” you croaked, reaching for the vodka bottle, ready to turn on your heels and run away from san.

“no,” he snaps, swiftly grabbing you on your waist and pulling you away from the bottle. his hands were now on your shoulders and you were standing right before him, head hung low and suddenly, you realise you couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. “stop trying to finish the vodka, i’ll finish it for you and return you the money,” he lowly comments.

“now, tell me why you’re here. i’ve called you a billion fucking times and not even your friends knew you were here.”

you grit your teeth, swallowing your saliva into your burning, dry throat. because i saw you with another girl in the locker room, that’s why.

“talk to me, will you? i can’t have you running off and disappearing without anybody knowing where the hell you are--”

“and you can run off and do god-knows-what with her in the locker room?”

you were now looking up, your heart finally satisfied that you got it off your chest, but your mind worrying if you had hurt his feelings. you weren’t anything to him, what gave you the right to be angry that he was with someone else? just because he had been sheltering you for the past year, didn’t mean that he was meant to shelter you for the rest of your life.

san’s eyes were now wide open, the frustration and anger on his face instantaneously replaced with confusion and surprise.

“what?”

silence.

he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, sighing and bringing his hands to his face. you were frozen in place, but your heart was pounding and the insides of your head were throbbing against your skull. how could you say that to him?

“you came here because you saw me in the locker room with her? is that it?” he had his index finger and thumb on his temples, his other hand wrapped around his torso as he scanned you through the corners of his eyes.

“get in the car,” he says after a moment of silence. “i’m sending you home.”

“no.” you try to reach for the bottle and make a run for it.

“you’re not allowed to say that--” his quick reflexes stop you from running away despite the bottle now being in your possession. the fingers on both his hands were tightly wrapped around your upper arms, your back against the cold windows of the car and his shadow shielding you from the only lamp post in the parking area.

you look up and stare straight into his eyes, a pair of familiar eyes you never thought you would ever see again. after seeing them in the locker room, your heart broke more than you’d like it to have, and there wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t think of the millions of possibilities that could’ve happened in the locker room. you wanted to let him go. you couldn’t be friends with him anymore if he could break your heart like this.

in the midst of the blurriness and the alcohol clouding your judgement, you decide: there is nothing for me to lose anymore.

the alcohol motivates you to tip-toe and press your lips onto his. you heard him groan from the back of his throat as he dropped his hands to your waist, shoving you back against the car as if you weren’t already leaning on it. he held you in place while he pulled away, studying your half-hooded eyes that were now glistening with a layer of tears.

they had lost the sparkle that he fell in love with, yet, he wasn’t worried about that. he was worried about the darkness that he fell more in love with.

you were ready to get shot in the head, maybe combust into ashes and disappear off the face of earth while the both of you stood there in shock and hesitance, but you couldn’t prepare yourself when san decides to cup your face in his hands and touch your lips with his again.

your hands instinctively reach up around his shoulders, pressing your hands flat against the back of his neck as his arms wrapped around your waist, leaving virtually no space between the two of you. you could taste the alcohol in your mouth slowly diluting, and you couldn’t feel anything else but the warmth his hands were giving you on your lower back.

san finally pulls away and huffs, letting you catch your breath in the process as well. he presses his forehead against yours, looking at you through his lashes and noticing the painful confusion you had in your eyes.

“we didn’t do anything in the locker room. yes, she tried to jump me, but i didn’t let her touch me,” he whispered, only for you to hear. you felt your heart slow down at the realisation. “you were always the one.”

a mild frown forms on your forehead.

“you were always the one. you’ve got no fucking clue how worried i was when i couldn’t reach you. i’m sorry if you thought otherwise, about how important you are to me.”

you open your mouth to exhale, your eyes fluttering shut at the revelation of events. san rubs the cold edges of your ears, tucking your hair behind them and leans in again.

this time, the contact felt comforting. it felt less-rushed, less intense, but it was starting to make your heart full.

he pulls away for the third time, looking at you with his head tilted, his hands still cupping your cheeks.

“i know i should’ve said this earlier... but... i love you.”

#timetohajima #san #choi san #ateez x reader #san x reader #san fanfic #san scenario #san imagine #san smut #??#idk #angst #ateez fanfic #ateez scenario #timetohajima playlist feels

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todaydreambelieversfic · 4 years

Text

Author Spotlight : Caramelcoffeeaddict Day 1

Author @caramelcoffeeaddict

How did you get into Glee and Glee fandom?

I started watching Glee when the pilot aired in May 2009. I had seen the ads for the show and since I love musicals I thought I'd check it out. I've been hooked ever since. As for the fandom... I fell into that by accident. I lurked on message boards and other places to read things about the show, but I never really participated or anything until a friend introduced me to tumblr. I began talking and interacting with other fans and had a lot of fun until I received some backlash for a few random unpopular opinions. I deleted that blog and started over with this one because I still really enjoyed seeing and reading everyone else's content. And for a really long time after that I was just a passive fan - only liking and reblogging content without contributing. I've started to break out of my shell more since I posted my first fic though.

In general, what drew you into writing (and/or creating)?

In my opinion, I've always been a creative person. I've always loved telling stories and using my imagination to keep myself entertained. I even took a creative writing course as an elective in college because I thought it seemed like a fun outlet.

What was it about Glee that made you decide to write fanfic for it?

Way back in 2012, my tumblr dash was always full of people talking about their favorite Klaine fics. There was tons of fanart, discussions, etc. I had never read fanfic for anything at that point, so I picked what seemed like the most popular fic that I saw talked most often ("Little Numbers"), and read it to see what all the fuss was about. I became hooked on reading fic after that. And since I've always been a creative person myself, I decided I should try writing some of my own. I started writing 2 different stories but so many different factors caused me to abandon both of them - thankfully I hadn't started posting them anywhere yet (and actually, one of those stories was recently finished & posted just this year). I gave myself a break and then in 2016 I saw a prompt on the Glee Prompt Meme on AO3 and decided to try my hand at it. After reading the prompt I had a pretty clear vision of how I thought it would play out, so I attempted to write it. The fic ended up being a short little one-shot less than 2k words, but I liked it enough that I took a chance and posted it (it eventually blossomed into a 3-part series totaling 8k words). The feedback I received for that story encouraged me to keep writing and posting new Glee/Klaine fic.

Have you been a part of other fandoms before? Have you written fanfiction pre-glee?

I have been a part of other fandoms pre-Glee. However, the only fandom that could even come close to being on the same level is for the band Hanson (I actually think I was WAY more involved and active in that fandom than I was for Glee. I'm still an active fan, but not as heavily involved in their fandom as I used to be). But since I don't like RPF, and I had never even READ a fanfic until I joined the Glee fandom, AND Glee is the only fandom I have written for period...Nope, no pre-Glee fanfiction writing from me.

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

One trope that I really want to write is a Famous/Non-Famous pairing. I technically have 2 different stories with that trope partially written, but nothing is published yet. And I really, really want to finish at least one of them.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Oh yeah! I can't read or write about BP (I can't even write out the full word so hopefully you know what that means). There are a few other tropes I'm not comfortable with either - genderswap, incest, mpreg - just to name a few.

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Too Many!! I currently have 29 WIPs on my comp, and a notebook full of handwritten prompts/summaries I want to write too. And that's not including the separate list of prompts I have JUST for my "Desperate Times..." 'verse.

***

Check out Caramelcoffeeaddict’s Fic

Like Birds of a Feather - When Blaine Anderson met Kurt Hummel, he was surprised that his sister, Rachel Berry, had never mentioned her amazing - and gorgeous - best friend to him before. He was even more surprised to learn that Rachel had kept Blaine a secret from all of her friends as well. Soon after their initial meeting, they learn that Dalton & McKinley will be facing-off against one another at Sectionals, forcing them to keep their rapidly growing friendship under-wraps until after the competition. But what will Rachel have to say about all of this when she finds out?

The Party Favor - After Blaine’s brother ditches him at a party where he doesn’t know anyone, he’s approached by Kurt who has a big favor to ask.

Toast to the Future - Kurt & Blaine never got back together after the first breakup, and Kurt stayed with Adam. Two-and-a-half years later, Kurt and Adam get engaged. Santana believes that Kurt is marrying Adam for all the wrong reasons and that he’s still in love with Blaine. So, she schemes to get Kurt and Blaine back together by inviting Blaine to Kurt’s engagement party.

#author spotlight #caramelcoffeeaddict

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shipmistress9 · 3 years

Note

D E F G H I J K L M N O P, Q R S T U V, W X Y and Z 😇😉. I sung the alphabet while writing this as well 😂. You don’t have to answer all of them though, just pick which ones you want 😊.

🤣🤣🤣

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

My fandom life would be easier if I liked Heathstrid at least a little bit... But I can’t and I don’t really want to, either...

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

The oneshots Spin The Bottle and Pick Me Up.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Given that I only learned about the existence of fandom as a concept in late 2016, the longest I’ve ever been in a fandom is roughly 4,5 years.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Many! Currently it’s Hiccstrid and Hicretstrid. And maybe a little Zelink. But thinking back, I think my very first OTP was when I was around five years old. From the Captain Tsubasa anime series, Tsubasa and... I don’t even know her name... 🤣 There was this girl who always cheered him on and was his no.1 fan. ANd in hindsight, I think I also shipped Tsubasa... with nearly all other players, mainly, Taro Misaki, Jun Misugi, and Kojiro Hyuga. 🤣

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

TV-shows, mostly. I prefer the visuals over books and I prefer the slower development over those in movies.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Not caused me to stop liking them. But in some cases (ATLA and TDP, to name two) it raised my expectations so high that, when I finally got to dip into them, I was rather underwhelmed. It also didn’t help that I already knew the ending and some major plot points. If there’s one sure way to dampen my excitement it’s spoilers.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Supernatural. Pretty much all other fandoms I dip into occasionally, I knew at least a little before. But literally everything I know about Supernatural is from seeing posts here. 🤣

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

I can’t think of an individual character right now, but in general an arc I like is someone (re-)learning to trust.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Snotlout has a great relationship with his dragon. Valka, too. Gobber and the twins are always fun, in their own ways.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Already answered before.

Hmm... First, I wanted to say Astrid. And I'd enjoy having her as a friend, as someone to challenges me to be more active, to work on my skills and someone to talk.

But I think, I'd enjoy being friends with Hiccup, too. I'd like to brainstorm ideas, ponder over inventions and exchange ideas. Geek out about dragons!

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Acceptance, respect, and some common sense. But that’s not just fandom...

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

My very long list of favoured songs randomly gave me 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. There once was an absolutly stunning AMV with this song about the TV-show The Legend Of The Seeker, The Sword Of Truth (based on the books by Terry Goodkind). I was deeply in love with Richard’s and Kahlan’s relationship, and with Cara on a general level. That AMV featured them all, and I loved it!

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh, oh, oh, oh! I just thought about this modern meet-cute AU for Hiccstrid a few days back, might as well write it down here. (And will also copy it over into an individual post, I think...)

Hiccup is a single father of a three-years-old daughter. One day, he meets Astrid in a supermarket; she’s in front of him at the check-out and when he hears her voice, he’s stunned. Because he knows her voice, hears it every day. Because she lend her voice to one of these talking toys for toddlers.His daughter’s favourite toy.

Hiccup always liked that toy best, too, because it didn’t sound as annoying as most others. Pleasant even. When he sees and hears Astrid, he recognises her voice in an instant. He jokingly thanks her for making his days more bearable. She’s confused, who is this weirdo? So he tries to explain. “The toy. My daughter’s toy. It’s your voice. A pleasant voice. I listen to it every day.” He keeps getting weirder, stammers, turns red like a tomato, until he eventually just flees, wishing a hole would open up to swallow him, that was so embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Astrid is touched. Knowing that there is at least one little girl who likes the toy she helped create. And her father, apparently. Who had been cute. In how shy he’d been. And how excited. She’s sorry he left before she was able to talk to him and thank him.

Over the next days, Hiccup would think of her a lot. Every time he hears her voice again, he’d think of her. Her face. Her smile. Until they, eventually, meet again... ^^

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Answered before

None, really. There are several fandoms I grew out of, like Sailor Moon or Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. But I wouldn't say I abandoned them. I still enjoy seeing content about them.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Those of the rider with their dragons. Hiccup&Toothless. Astrid&Stormfly.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Pretty much all of my headcanons are about Hiccstrid in one way or combination. One of my personal favourites is that Astrid has a tiny birthmark on the back of her neck. She doesn’t even know it’s there, she can’t see it and it’s almost always covered by her hair anyway. But Hiccup knows it’s there. And he loves to place a kiss on it. It tickles and would always make her giggle. And she smells so nice.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

*snorts* No. If there are people who don’t share my headcanons, then... they don’t have to? I can live and be friends with people regardless of whether we share the same headcanons or not. And if people keep attacking me for mine, I’ll just block them and walk away. Arguing about something like that is not worth my time.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Astrid. HTTYD.

erm...

uh...

I really have difficulties thinking of favourites from any other fandoms here! xD

uhm...

Princess Zelda from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Kaladin Stormblessed from the Stormlight Archives.

I might have a type here. Brave, strong, not always easy to deal with. Fiercely loyal. Stubborn. Proud. Honourable. that’s all three of them. ^^

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Same answer as the above, mostly. I think I already wrote a long answer to a similar question once. 🤔 I relate to Astrid in many ways. Loyal and reliable, not always easy to approach, often prefers to deal with her problems on her own instead of asking for help.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Anything jealously, especially it being portrayed as a sign of love or dedication. But also love triangles. Unnecessary.

Another thing I don’t like is when there’s a misunderstanding and they argue about it and get angry and yell and have a huge falling-out... when it all just boils down to them not listening.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Answered before.

Forbidden Romance. In any form. I just love the angsty tension it brings without the characters fighting or arguing about misunderstandings.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Supernatural, ATLA, TDP, MCU.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

With all the critical thinking that’s encouraged in fandom culture, I wish more people would remember Ratatouille and this quote by Anton Ego.

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.”

-- Anton Ego (Ratatouille)

Or at least respect it. It’s called entertainment and not lecture about every little detail that is wrong with other people’s opinions. I get why it’s important to look deeper and question meanings and intentions, I really do. But sometimes, I’d prefer to at least occasionally just enjoy something without getting lectured by others for it.

_____

Thank you! 😘💜

#ask #drakaina-amore64 #ask game #long post

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sodone-withlife · 3 years

Text

glass is fragile

Criminal Minds Fic Part Two

| PART 1 | PART 2 |

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: implied character death

Notes: cross-posted on Ao3. this is the result of a random idea I had because while I love Hotchniss, I love the idea of the two meeting in college and keeping in contact with Hotch being an overprotective brother

fortuna vitrea est; tum cum splendet frangitur (fortune is glass; just when it gleams brightest it shatters) - Publilius Syrus

“I’ve got five names on the bottom of the list Prentiss gave us,” Morgan said, walking towards the case board. “Luke Renault, Lawrence Riley, Lyla Rafferty, Lyle Rogers, Landon Raines.”

“All with the initials L.R.” Seaver pointed out.

“The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign non-official cover agents working the same case,” Hotch remarked.

“So do other foreign countries,” Morgan added. “These last five names are covers—spies,” he said, pointing at the document.

“Wait,” Garcia said, taking the document. “No, this isn’t right,” she said, pointing at the page. “Do you see this space? That shouldn’t be here.”

“Could it be a formatting error?” Reid asked.

“No, this is a spreadsheet template,” Garcia answered. “Formatting doesn’t allow for this, there’s a missing name on here.”

“It’s another spy whose cover is L.R.” Hotch said quietly, looking to the elevator and mentally preparing to give the looming long-winded explanation.

“‘Lauren Reynolds is dead,’” Reid said aloud behind him.

“What?” Hotch turned around in shock, having not heard that name spoken aloud in years.

“‘Lauren Reynolds is dead,’” Reid repeated, “Prentiss said that on a phone call seventeen days ago, but her intonation wasn’t surprise or grief, it was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself.”

As Reid continued talking, Hotch pulled out his phone and dialed her number, hoping like hell his hunch about what she's doing is just that—a hunch.

“If Prentiss is the last name on that list, she’s on Doyle’s list, too,” Seaver said.

Hotch followed the sound of a ringtone to Emily’s desk and opened the first drawer. “Guys,” he cut into the team’s discussion, holding the gun and badge she’d left behind out for them to see.

“She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?” Morgan asked, confused. Hotch placed them back down and grabbed his other phone, pulling up his messages.

<< It’s T, isn’t it.

>>He’s going after us, he’s threatened the others.

<<Blackbird.

<<Where are you?

<<What are you doing?

>>I’m sorry.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Reid turned back to the others, uncomprehending. “Why run? We’re her family, we can help.”

“Doyle’s killing families,” Rossi pointed out in realization. “She’s not married, not close to relatives—”

“Last night, Doyle verbally threatened to kill us,” Hotch said, looking up as his worry for Emily’s safety returned in full force.

“How do you know that?” Morgan asked suspiciously. In response, Hotch held out his phone and played the recording Emily had sent over last night.

“Aaron, Doyle mentioned all of us except you. Why?” Rossi asked, noting the distinct lack of any threat directed at the unit chief. Hotch didn’t answer, looking out through the glass doors towards the elevators. The others followed his line of sight.

“JJ?” Garcia stood up and dashed over to the long-missed blonde, who was standing in the doorway.

“I’ve called the State Department for permission to have someone come over and shed light on Emily’s past. Officially, I can’t tell you anything,” Hotch told the profilers who were staring in shock, “but JJ can.”

~~~

“Okay, so I talked to a friend from Langley, he couldn’t give me Emily’s full CIA history, but he could give me this,” JJ said, turning to the TV screen. “She assumed the identity of Lauren Reynolds as part of a special task force called JTF-12.”

“I heard about them,” Rossi remarked, “They were profiling terrorists, weren’t they?”

“Yeah,” JJ answered. “Assembled after 9/11, CIA and Western agencies contributed their ‘best and brightest’.”

“But serial killers and terrorists have different personality traits,” Seaver pointed out.

“How does Doyle fit in?” Reid asked.

“He was their last case,” JJ said, “and now the JTF is on his hit list.”

“Jeremy Wolff was victim number one, from Germany’s BND,” she began, focusing on the pictures on the screen. “Sean McAlister at Interpol was the second and was the one who brought the JTF in on Doyle. He was murdered last week in Brussels with his wife and daughter,” JJ said softly, flicking a brief look at Hotch, who had squashed down his reaction.

“Tsia Mosely of France’s DCRI—she got engaged to Jeremy earlier this year and fled here when he died,” JJ continued and sent another look at Hotch, who took a breath and steeled himself for the barrage of accusations and questions he was sure to get.

His picture appeared on the screen.

“Hotch?” They turned to look at him in confused shock.

“It wasn’t my prerogative to tell you,” he moved around the table and took the remote from JJ, looking at the other profilers. “None of you had the clearance for this, and there wasn’t time between the numerous phone calls I had to make in order to get JJ back here.”

“I understand you have questions, but we need to focus on Emily,” he said firmly, turning to the screen. “Clyde Easter of the British SIS was the leader. I’ve talked to him over the phone twice and he was in DC last I heard, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of him since Tsia’s murder.”

“You were involved in the Doyle case?” Rossi asked. Are you safe? went unasked but was heard by everyone.

“I’m well aware of the danger I am in,” Hotch said, “but if I’m right, he’s going to be too fixated on Emily to care much about me, though I’ve had precautions in place since we first found out he escaped.”

“Did you ever make any arrests? Maybe that’s why he’s after you?”

“No, the host countries always took care of that and we just moved onto the next case. Given the shadowy nature of terrorist cells, we were mostly involved in infiltration.”

“Who was undercover on Doyle?” Reid asked.

“Emily,” JJ answered.“She posed as another weapons dealer and met him in Boston to get intel on Valhalla.” JJ paused, looking at Hotch apprehensively.

He took over, knowing what she was hung up on. “The recon we did on Doyle included a background on all of his previous romantic relationships, and… ” he trailed off, hesitating, “she’s exactly his type.”

~~~

“Prissy, where the hell are you?”

“Oh, is that worry that I hear, Iceman?”

“Blackbird’s in Boston, isn’t she.”

“Is that a question?”

~~~

“Emily walked into a trap,” Garcia said shakily, pointing at the screen. “It looks like Doyle got into the SUV, but from this angle, you can see that he didn’t, which I wish Boston PD would have told me before I started watching it.” She looked at the others apologetically. “Sorry again for the screaming.”

“She threw a flash-bang grenade into a car,” Morgan said incredulously. “She’s lucky the three people inside didn’t die. Is anybody else bothered by that?”

“Well, three bad guys,” Rossi pointed out.

“Illegal as it is, when you’re dealing with the likes of Doyle, who has nothing to lose,” Hotch said softly, staring into space, “you have to be as ruthless as he is and act the same way.”

“So how did Doyle know she was waiting for him?” Rossi asked.

“Well, the mole must have told him, right?” JJ suggested. “The same guy who’s been feeding Doyle the contractors and agents?”

“And our best suspect was just arrested with a suitcase full of cash,” Seaver said.

“Let me take care of Prissy—Clyde,” Hotch amended when the nickname garnered him strange looks. “The rest of you focus on Doyle’s location.”

“I hate to be the one to ask this,” Garcia hesitantly spoke up, looking to Hotch. “But how long does Emily have?”

He remained silent for a moment. “Doyle saved her for last because she is his stressor—she had an intimate connection with him,” Hotch blew out a breath and focused his gaze on the analyst. “He’ll take his time.”

A horrified silence fell over the group. He stood up, unable to bear the heavy tension and fear, and walked into the jet’s bathroom. He leaned on the counter for support and took a few deep breaths, trying not to spiral into a panic.

“How long have you known Emily?” Rossi asked quietly, having followed behind him.

“Fall of ‘89,” he answered, feeling faint amusement at the older man’s surprise. “Yale; I was an ambitious law school student while she was a goth sophomore student. We saw each other again when I did some work for the Ambassador, then again when JTF was formed. Clyde always referred to me as the overprotective big brother even though she’s a year older than me.”

“Did you know about Emily and…?” Rossi trailed off, unsure as to how he should phrase the question.

“I had my suspicions,” Hotch admitted. “I wasn’t there to see her after she was extracted, but I talked to her afterward, and something was definitely different.”

~~~

“October 2006. ‘In closing, I have never worked with a finer agent than Emily Prentiss. Her skill at analyzing and predicting terrorist behavior is unparalleled.’ Signed, name redacted,” Hotch looked up at the Englishman. “I knew something was off when I read her personnel file those years ago. Buzz words, the like—you sold her to the bureau just like you sold Doyle to the North Koreans.”

Clyde remained silent as Hotch continued to stare at him. “It takes a skilled sociopath to betray his team and the cause he held dear for self-preservation.”

He leaned forward, expression dark. “If anything happens to Emily, I swear I will destroy you, our past history be damned.”

Finally shifting in his spot, Clyde sent an appraising look over Hotch. “You were the best,” he said, “but you’re slipping. I’m disappointed.”

Hotch looked at him dispassionately. “My team and I will get Doyle with or without you. Pack lightly—Guantanamo gets humid.”

He turned away as Clyde chuckled behind him. “Nice try,” the Englishman said, “but I’m curious. If I’m the sociopath, then I should feel no empathy, correct?”

“Oh, you’re not the sociopath,” Hotch corrected him, turning around at the doorway. “Doyle is.”

He carefully looked Clyde up and down. “Weren’t you a better profiler?”

~~~

“Did you know Jeremy sold the list to Doyle?” Hotch asked, sitting across from Clyde.

“I had my suspicions,” Clyde admitted casually.

“So when you got to DC, you couldn’t trust Tsia, either. Emily and I read your doubt as duplicity,” Hotch said, leaning forward. “Emily is in trouble, and you need to help me brief the team on the original profile so we can combine that with who he is now as a serial killer.”

“Aaron, you know that Doyle is going to escape from one of your American prisons as easily as he did in North Korea,” Clyde retorted. “There is no catching that man, you have to put a bullet in his brain yourself.” He looked at Hotch seriously. “You, as an FBI agent, took an oath to protect the laws of your country. Can you break your oath, Agent Hotchner?”

Hotch shook his head, understanding his intent and opting for a different answer.

“I can take one.”

There was a knock on the door, which opened to show JJ. “The British consul’s here,” she told the men.

“Could you tell him I’ll be right out?” Clyde requested, not looking away from Hotch. “I’m consulting with the BAU on a case.”

~~~

The profilers stood around quickly set up table and case boards in the Boston field office, Clyde and Hotch at the head of the table.

“Ian Doyle is a power-assertive psychopath. Highly controlling and very explosive when something doesn’t go as planned,” Clyde informed them.

“Okay, so how does this fit in with who he is as a family annihilator?” Seaver asked.

“And Prentiss’ role in it,” Rossi added.

“Annihilators have a romanticized view of who their family is,” Reid suggested.

“Actually,” Hotch interrupted, “he was an orphan.”

“Well, they think of family as their possession until some law shatters that and starts them killing,” Morgan offered.

“Doyle was never married,” Clyde said.

“Children?” Rossi asked.

“No.”

“You run your profile that he carried out his murders with surgical-like precision,” Reid interjected, holding out a photo of the dead child.

“Yeah.”

“With no collateral damage,” Morgan continued, which Clyde and Hotch confirmed.

Rossi looked up, an idea coming to him. “Perhaps this child was a surrogate for one he had.”

“Say Doyle had a child and you didn’t know about it,” Seaver suggested hypothetically, turning to Clyde. “Is it possible that Prentiss did?”

“Then why would she keep it from me?” Clyde asked as if the idea was inconceivable. Hotch raised an eyebrow and let out a scoff, earning himself a look from the Englishman.

“First name Declan,” Hotch told Garcia, ignoring Clyde. “Adoptive guardian Louise Jones, Doyle’s housekeeper. Emily moved them here to Boston eight years ago and she told me she made sure they’re safe. Anything beyond that, a last name, I don’t know.”

“Declan and his mother went missing seven years ago,” Garcia said, typing rapidly. “Bodies were never found… wait, what’s this?” Multiple pictures popped up on her screen. “God, someone took pictures of them being shot,” she said, horrified.

“Is there an address?” Hotch demanded.

“That looks like a warehouse,” Garcia said as she entered in the specifiers. “It’s gotta be big enough to house a small army. That’s weapons, supplies, let’s see, which means it has its own perimeter…” she trailed off, hitting enter. “1518 Adams Street,” she read from her screen.

“Hold on, look at the photos,” Reid interjected, taking a closer look at the screen.

“It’s black clothing and a hand, Reid,” Morgan said, confused.

“No, look at the fingernails,” he corrected, pointing to the screen.

Garcia let out a gasp as she realized what Reid was talking about. “Oh my god.”

~~~

“Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building,” Hotch briefed the listening agents, ballistics vest on. “Rescuing her is our primary objective.”

“Our only advantage here is stealth,” Morgan said. “Once they know we’re on site, there’s nothing to stop them from killing her, so we keep it quiet until we get to her… ”

~~~

“Cut the power.”

~~~

“I got her!”

~~~

“Come on, stay with me!”

~~~

“She never made it off the table.”

~~~

“You really didn’t have to do this.”

“She’s my friend, and so are you. I want to protect her and make sure you don’t fall under this weight.”

~~~

<< Stay safe

>>You too

~~~

“Prissy, where are you hiding out right now?”

“Good to hear from you too, Iceman. The Golden City. oh, and I know she’s alive.”

“Glad to hear your habits haven’t changed a bit.”

~~~

“How are you doing?”

“The others aren’t as mad as I expected.”

“Red tape, writing up report after report for bureaucrat after bureaucrat, they’re more perceptive than you give them credit for. However, I don’t believe I asked about them, I believe I asked after you.”

“I think cleaning up this mess while trying to go about life with an international criminal potentially out for my blood is a fitting punishment for my failings.”

~~~

“I get it. We’re a family, and it’s important that families talk, and holding it in will just make this sick, sad feeling of awfulness more awful,” Garcia said, “right?”

Hotch allowed himself a brief upturn of his lips at her rambling before sobering up. “Internalizing does make it worse,” he agreed.

“I’ll talk, but I don’t want to talk about her being gone,” Garcia said softly. “Can I talk about how she made me smile?”

A pang shot through Hotch’s heart at her hopeful question as he thought back on the close relationship the women had with each other.

“Of course.”

~~~

“The last time I was on a couch like this was when my father left,” Reid mused quietly. “They all thought I needed to talk, but developmentally I wasn’t guided by conscience—I could only reveal what my mother and my teachers told me was acceptable.”

“You told them exactly what they wanted to hear,” Hotch summed up, not showing just how much that hit home. “You don’t have to do that here. Yell, curse at me, whatever you need to do.”

The genius swallowed. “It’s just unfair that she’s gone,” he said, barely holding back tears. “It’s like if we can’t keep each other safe, then why are we even doing any of this?”

Hotch remained silent as Reid continued. “It’s… sometimes I think maybe—maybe Gideon was right, you know. Maybe…” he trailed off, staring into space. “Maybe it’s just not worth it.”

~~~

Morgan sighed, leaning back on the couch. “So I came in here to do what? Talk about losing Emily?” He shook his head when he received no answer. “Strauss put you up to this?”

“The assessment’s routine,” Hotch finally said. “I asked her to let me do it rather than bring in somebody from the outside. Thought it might be preferred, even with my role in this mess.”

“So let me guess—it’s about the five stages of grief,” Morgan let out a breath. “You want to figure out where we all are.”

Hotch looked at him expectantly, remaining silent, much to Morgan’s annoyance.

“All right,” Morgan said, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees. “Denial. I’m fine, this can’t be happening to me—well it didn’t happen to me, did it?” he started. “So that rules that out. What else is there—bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Well, obviously, I haven’t accepted it, otherwise I wouldn’t be in here,” he looked at Hotch. “So where does that leave me?”

“Angry.”

“Angry,” he repeated. “Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I want to quit my job and spend my time chasing down the son of a bitch who killed Emily. You’re damn right I’m angry,” he declared, anger pouring out of every word before he deflated.

“Sixty seconds,” Morgan breathed out, shaking his head in self-recrimination. “If I had gotten there sixty seconds earlier, Emily might still be with us.”

“Derek, you know that you did everything you could—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I did everything I could. We all did. I know,” he snapped. “What, that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“You protected each other for years, don’t expect this to go away anytime soon,” Hotch told him.

“This what? This—this guilt?”

“Just because you were the last one there doesn’t mean that you could affect the outcome,” Hotch said. “We all wish we had that kind of control.”

“So what do we do, we just chalk it up to fate?” Morgan looked at Hotch incredulously. “What, I can’t blame anybody? What, this is the will of God? No. I do blame somebody, I blame Doyle.”

At a loss, Hotch remained silent, hiding the guilt that threatened to swallow him in the face of Morgan’s grief.

“Hotch, what am I supposed to do?” Morgan finally asked, voice breaking. “I lost my friend right in front of me, and I’m supposed to go on like nothing happened?” He shook his head, taking in a shuddering breath. “You know, we—we come in here, and we talk to you,” he turned to Hotch and asked, “Where do you go?”

Hotch glanced down as Morgan continued, “Where are you with all this?”

“Same place as you,” the unit chief looked back up, a mutual understanding passing between them. “Wishing she was here.”

~~~

“There are benefits to meeting after hours,” Rossi commented, raising his glass of scotch and taking a drink.

Hotch looked down at his own glass. “You know everybody’s feeling it, and nobody wants to talk about it.”

“It’s too soon, Aaron. You know that better than anyone,” the older profiler sent him a look. “And, uh, doesn’t Strauss usually run these assessments?”

“There was no way that was going to happen,” Hotch said firmly to Rossi’s brief chuckle.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he said, as Hotch took a long drink out of his own glass. “And I also know that you grieve privately. But,” Rossi paused, looking at him solemnly, “you’ve been through more than any of us in a very short time. How are you holding up?”

“I’m all right,” Hotch repeated three words that had become a mantra, briefly glancing at Rossi. “I think it’s an ongoing process,” he said, thinking about the mess he was buried under after the events of the past year.

“This is not my assessment,” he looked at Rossi in reproach, “I’m supposed to be asking how you’re doing.”

A corner of Rossi’s lips briefly tilted up before he looked back down as he thought about what to say. “I’ve always had trouble letting people in,” he began slowly and shook his head. “But this is different. I guess I’ve come to realize… I’m more married to this team than I ever was to three ex-wives.” They shared a brief moment of amusement as his quip.

“It’s been a hard year,” Hotch finally said quietly. “We’ll get through it.”

“Yeah, we will,” Rossi agreed, lifting his glass in a toast. “Emily and Haley.”

Hotch raised his own, the two lapsing into heavy silence.

~~~

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m sorry I’m sorrysorrysorry—

He threw the blanket off himself and got up from where he was laying on the couch to walk over to his desk, glancing out into the dark bullpen as he went. He sat down and started going through the stack of unfinished reports in an attempt to ward off the thoughts that have plagued him since that painful day two months ago.

I’ve failed you, Blackbird.

I hope you’re safe out there.

~~~

“Believe me, everyone who tried to save him that day isn’t going to forget. It’s the day they failed. They’ll ask themselves what they could have done—could they have gotten there sooner? They’ll heal, but it’s going to take time. They’ll move on, but they won’t forget.”

~~~

“Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you’d like to stay with the unit,” Hotch informed them.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Reid asked, confused.

“There are other options for you out there,” Hotch answered. “And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are. Morgan, there’s renewed interest in you from the New York office.”

Morgan looked surprised. “Nobody’s called me.”

“They will.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to go,” he said slowly.

“Oh, I know,” Hotch said evenly.

“Are you staying here?” Seaver asked Hotch.

“It’s my intention to,” but we’ll have to see what happens with Doyle. He felt Rossi’s eyes land on him, knowing that the man would have caught his careful word choice.

Either way, there’s a high chance I’m going to be overseas soon.

~~~

“Has he ever left before us?”

“He technically isn’t leaving—he’s still in danger and doesn’t have the luxury of going into hiding, so he’s been rotating through the Academy dorms.”

“Jack?”

“He’s been staying with the Brooks family. Hotch implemented as many security measures as he could and has been visiting as often as he can.”

~~~

“Hotchner.”

“Hey, it’s me,” Morgan’s voice came over the phone. “How’s it going out there?”

“Got to Pakistan a few days ago, so far long days, some territorial issues to work out, nothing surprising,” Hotch answered, straining to hear Morgan over the helicopters whirring overhead. “How’s everything there?”

“Hotch, we found Declan Doyle.”

“What?”

“Listen, I knew finding the kid was the only way I could find Doyle,” Hotch was silent, mind immediately straying to the potential ramifications. “I know what you’re thinking, man.”

“Is Declan safe?” he finally settled on asking.

“Yeah, he is for now. I’ve had surveillance at his house and his school for a few weeks.”

“Morgan, I didn’t authorize this—”

“I know you didn’t, Hotch, but listen to me. I think Doyle may have found Declan, too.”

Hotch shook his head. “All right, I’m coming back.”

“You want me to wait?” Morgan asked incredulously.

“Morgan, fixated on his son as he may be, Doyle is still incredibly smart and meticulous,” Hotch reminded. “You make sure you have eyes on Doyle from all angles. If you take him alive, keep him under constant surveillance and limit his contact with other people, even if they’re our own.”

~~~

“Prissy, Doyle’s in custody and under constant watch. You can come out of whatever hole you’ve crawled into.”

“Dare I ask how you got to him?”

“I’m still in Pakistan, I didn’t do anything. The team took care of it.”

~~~

<<Time to come back, Blackbird.

>>You got V?

<<Looking for his K.

>>I just got a call from K’s caretaker. What happened?

>>Iceman.

<<K disappeared

~~~

“Welcome back, sir.”

“Thank you,” Hotch turned around to see the brightly-dressed analyst hurrying towards him with a folder under her arm. “What have you got?”

“A top-ten list of Doyle’s enemies.”

“Anybody recently in the States?” he looked through, recognizing the names.

“Richard Gerace’s been here a few weeks,” she answered. “He’s a low-level gun-runner who angrily crossed paths with Doyle. I caught an image of him on the surveillance camera at Declan’s house and confirmed it was him through a scar on his neck. Have you come across him before?” Garcia asked, referring to his time with JTF.

“I don’t think so,” Hotch shook his head. “Get me everything you can on Gerace.”

“Yeah,” Garcia hesitated, “what I just told you is everything I’ve got.” Hotch nodded and briskly walked around her out of the conference room.

He made his way to where they were holding Doyle and walked up to the window next to Rossi.

“Well, that’s a good look,” Rossi commented on his beard. Hotch allowed a brief smile to appear on his face while he texted Morgan, who was inside with Doyle. “How was the desert?”

“Hot,” Hotch replied shortly, still able to feel sand in his combat boots and the sun beating down on his back.

“Doyle’s here, so have you seen Jack yet?”

“No, Jessica took him on a road trip, they’re at Hershey Park right now,” Hotch said, still occupied with his messaging.

“Well, he’ll love that beard,” Rossi looked over at him.

“Yeah, we skyped every day,” Hotch said dryly, looking back at the older man. “He’s not a fan.”

~~~

>>C just called to check in. On the way right now.

<<See you in a bit

>>If I survive the others

<<Blackbird, I made this decision, I am responsible for this. It’s my burden to bear, but I’d do it all over again if it means having you alive.

<<Oh, and J came back fourteen weeks ago. As a profiler, now.

>>What? And you’re just telling me this now?

<<Didn’t find out until I got somewhere with secure service, and that was a week ago.

<<We’ve really missed you.

~~~

“Welcome back,” Morgan greeted Hotch.

“Thanks,” Hotch said, steeling himself. “Everybody, have a seat.”

The profilers looked at him strangely. “Why?” Morgan asked. “What’s going on? Everything all right?”

“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team,” Hotch crossed his arms. “As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle, but the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.”

He continued on, watching as different emotions appeared on the teams’ faces as they realized what he was saying. “I called Clyde and we met with the brass while she was being flown over, and it was decided that her identity was strictly need-to-know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. Given the danger Doyle posed, she was reassigned to Paris, where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.”

“She’s alive?” Garcia asked, hopeful shock clear in her voice. Hotch’s silence spoke volumes.

“But we buried her,” Reid said, uncomprehending.

Hotch looked directly at Morgan. “As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision, and if anyone has any issues, they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues?” Morgan repeated in angry incredulity. “Yeah, I got issues,” he trailed off when he noticed the others looking behind him.

“Oh my god,” Garcia breathed, tears rolling down her face at the sight of Emily Prentiss in the doorway. She stood up and rushed over, enveloping the woman in a careful hug, as if she were going to disappear.

“I am so sorry,” Emily said, as the analyst let go of her so Reid could take her place. “I really am. Not a day went by that I didn’t want to…” she trailed off, catching sight of Morgan’s expression. “Really, I—” she approached him, hoping he’ll understand, “you didn’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry.”

She leaned in, hugging him tightly as Morgan slowly returned the hug through his shock. They stayed like that for a few moments before she backed away and turned to the others. “There’s so much I want to tell you guys, and I will, I promise, but right now I really need to know what’s going on with Declan,” she said, walking to stand next to Hotch and JJ.

“Emily, was there a man living at the house?” Reid pushed forward to ask.

“Yes, my friend Tom Koehler, he was raising Declan as his own.”

“Where is he?” JJ asked from the side.

“I never saw him go in or out of that house,” Garcia told her.

“He was on assignment overseas,” Emily said.

“But he’s all right?” JJ checked.

“Yes,” Emily confirmed, “He’s on his way back now. He got a call from Declan, he called me, and Hotch texted me just moments later telling me you had Doyle in custody.”

“And because of Tom’s line of work, that’s why you enrolled Declan in a boarding school,” Hotch said.

“I made sure that he, Louise, and I were the only ones allowed to take him off campus.”

“Louise took him home last night because he was sick,” Reid told her.

“Food poisoning,” Hotch interjected.

“Yeah, a few of the kids had it, apparently, so whoever did this got to him on campus. They knew they only had one chance.”

“Current suspect is Richard Gerace,” JJ said, “he’s the most recent arrival into the states. We’ve been tracking his progress through the city, but we came up empty.”

“We know it’s him because he has the scar,” Garcia added.

“That doesn’t make sense, Gerace gave up on Doyle a long time ago,” Emily stated.

Rossi spoke up, “He said you were the only one who knew Gerace.”

“Which is why I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have the balls to pull this off,” she said. “There was no forced entry at the house?”

“I had two agents working security,” Morgan said.

“We think Gerace and his partner pose as the next shift, and one of the agents was a woman,” Reid told her.

Emily’s response came quick. “She’s the alpha.”

“So we’re looking for a woman who’s getting back at Doyle,” JJ summarized.

“Well, our suspect list just got a whole lot longer,” Hotch remarked, exchanging a sardonic look with Emily, who nodded in agreement.

~~~

“Is Strauss still there?” Hotch asked over the phone, striding outside towards the parked SUVs.

“She is.”

“We need full support.”

“Doyle said McDermott’s family imported weapons to a private airfield in Maryland,” Emily said.

“Close?”

“Largo.”

“All right, send me the coordinates. Oh, and Emily?” Hotch added.

“Yeah?”

“It’s good to have you back, Blackbird.”

~~~

“Hotch, are we really going to do this?” Morgan’s voice came over his earpiece.

“No one leaves here,” Hotch said firmly into his mic, keeping a careful eye on the proceedings.

~~~

“Iceman.”

“Blackbird,” Hotch returned as Emily approached him at the side of the conference room, having escaped the others’ excitement at her return. He looked her up and down, taking in the welcome sight before pulling her into a tight hug. The others fell silent, watching them clutch to each other like a lifeline in an embrace that spoke of a deep familiarity.

“You did all that you could,” she told him quietly, as their grip on each other loosened slightly, “thank you.”

A few traitorous tears slipped out of his eyes, which he had squeezed shut. Hotch kept his head at the crook of her neck, taking in the familiar warmth that reassured him of her presence.

“It’s so good to see you.”

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #bau #fanfic #david rossi #derek morgan #spencer reid #penelope garcia #hurt #sodone glass is fragile

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carewyncromwell · 4 years

Text

[After learning that Fred and George had spotted Jacob near Hogwarts, Carewyn did some digging. Eventually she heard from Filch that Jacob had been spotted in the library (after the caretaker lugged her into his office demanding that she confess to setting off a Dungbomb in the Gryffindor Common Room -- Carewyn acquiesced just to get him off the subject), and Carewyn followed up with Madame Pince.

Jacob had been looking for something in particular -- since he didn’t find it at the Hogwarts library, there was logically only one place he’d go. But when Carewyn made it to Flourish and Blotts, Madame Villanelle told her that she’d just missed him. Desperate not to let the trail go cold, Carewyn knew there was only one thing to do -- she had to make a quick sweep around both Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley...even if she didn’t have time to change clothes so she wouldn’t stand out.

And so, very, very warily, Carewyn walked through the arch leading to Knockturn Alley, her hand holding her wand inside of her pocket. In her powder blue Beauxbatons suit, she knew she stuck out like a sore thumb. Worse, people would be able to remember seeing her -- Carewyn -- having gone into Knockturn Alley. She didn’t like the thought of random bystanders knowing that she frequented such a place: at least when she changed her hair and make-up, most people wouldn’t know who she was right away, so there was a level of anonymity involved. Going into Knockturn Alley without a disguise made Carewyn feel exposed and oddly vulnerable.

As soon as she arrived, she stiffened at the sight of a familiar face peeking into the window of Borgin and Burkes.]

“Merula? What are you doing here?”

[Merula turned around. She looked a little startled to see Carewyn, but recovered quickly.]

Merula: “Shopping -- not that it’s any of your business.”

[She indicated the ornate opal necklace displayed in the window with her head.]

Merula: “See that? It’s supposedly claimed the lives of nineteen Muggle owners...reckon it’d be perfect for a certain ex-professor, don’t you think?”

[Carewyn frowned in unmasked disapproval.]

“Still plotting to kill Rakepick, I see.”

Why can’t you just look after yourself and stay out of the way?

[Merula scowled.]

Merula: “You’re awfully quick to judge, considering you’re slumming around down here too.”

[Her pink gaze then became a bit more curious.]

[Carewyn was reluctant to tell Merula anything, but she decided after a moment that lying wouldn’t help too much in this situation. After all, if Merula knew anything, then Carewyn wanted to know what she knew. So instead she kept her answer concise, so as to lie by omission.]

“...I heard from Madame Villanelle that Jacob was in Flourish and Blotts earlier. I thought there was a chance he could still be in the area. Have you see him?”

[All of a sudden there was a loud CRACK just behind the two girls. Both of them gave a start, whirling around -- Carewyn seized her wand, ready to whip it out of her pocket and attack --

But her hand stilled inside her pocket when she saw who had appeared.

Standing mere feet from them was a young man dressed in stylish scarlet dress robes with long, curly dark hair and distinctive almond-shaped blue eyes just like Carewyn’s.]

[Carewyn, however, completely ignored Merula.]

“Jacob!”

[She immediately barreled forward, grabbing onto both of her older brother’s arms.]

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

[Jacob gave her a blazing white smile.]

Jacob: “Looking all over while dressed in sweet threads, I see -- where’d you get a Beauxbatons uniform, Pip?”

“A friend gave it to me. She goes to Beauxbatons.”

Jacob: “(interested) Really? I hope I can meet her at some point. Got a few questions I’d love to ask about her school’s architecture -- not to mention its alchemy curriculum. Oh, and I’ve heard very interesting things about its headmistress -- reckon an afternoon tea with her would be rather illuminating...”

[His eyes drifted away toward the sky as he spoke, as was often the case when he was thinking.

It was almost comforting to hear Jacob going off on one of his usual tangents. Being an ex-Ravenclaw, Jacob lived in his own little world and very frequently could get sidetracked with his never-ending amount of interests and lofty ambitions. Still, Carewyn knew that in this moment, it wouldn’t do for Jacob to lose his head like a flyaway balloon -- and so she tried to bring him back down to earth.]

“(reproachfully) Jacob, where have you been? I haven’t seen you since the Cursed Vault. You never sent any letters, or left any notes...Hell, even passed along any messages for me!”

I was worried sick about you. I thought that you could’ve gotten yourself killed, after I only just finished saving you --

[She didn’t dare verbalize this, though, especially in front of Merula.

Jacob’s smile faltered, and his face immediately looked much more ashamed. Despite the guilt in his face, his voice was very low and firm.]

Jacob: “...I know, Pip. I’m sorry I ran off, but I had to try to stop Rakepick from getting away.”

[Carewyn looked down, her eyes resting absently on one of the golden buttons of Jacob’s scarlet coat.]

Jacob: “(grimly) Carewyn...I know you want things to go back to normal...but they can’t. Not as long as R exists. (murmurs) I swear to you, I wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t important.”

[Carewyn closed her eyes solemnly.

She’d already accepted that things couldn’t be the way they were. Jacob’s second disappearance had smacked her in the face with that. But she also was painfully aware of the company they were in (namely, Merula) and knew she couldn’t say anything about her intention to find the last Vault -- to help Mad-Eye Moody while he dealt with R -- so that Jacob could come home.]

“(very softly) ...I know.”

[When she opened her eyes and looked up, she could see Jacob’s eyes had softened visibly, almost nostalgically. It was looking at his eyes that made Carewyn all the more painfully aware of how hollowed-out they looked -- how deep and dark the bags around his eyes were. It made his face look so haunted, even as his mouth unfurled into its familiar cocky smile.]

Jacob: “Don’t worry, Pip...I’ll get it all sorted. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”

[Carewyn wanted to say something snarky in return, like she would’ve in the past, but once again, she knew there was much more important things to say -- things she couldn’t say in front of Merula.]

“I know you can. Come on, let’s get out of here -- we have a lot to talk about -- ”

[Jacob’s face grew much more grim again.]

Jacob: “I’m sorry, but there’s no time for that. Right now, you and I need to duel.”

[Carewyn was taken aback.]

“What?”

[Merula’s face spread into a very wide, intrigued smirk as she crossed her arms.]

Merula: “Finally, this family reunion’s gotten interesting.”

[Carewyn wasn’t even in the mood to snap at Merula -- her focus was solely on Jacob, and her gaze was very critical.]

[Jacob had already turned his back on Carewyn and started taking his ten paces from her, so as to get in dueling position.]

Jacob: “There’s a dangerous person who’s set his eyes on you. Merula too, actually.”

[Now it was Merula’s turn to look startled.]

Merula: “Me?”

Jacob: “Afraid so.”

[He turned on his heel again, sliding his white Aspen wand out of his robes and holding it in front of him as he faced Carewyn.]

Jacob: “I won’t always be there to protect you, Pip, so I need to make sure you’ll be ready, if he ever tries to corner you.”

[Carewyn’s eyes narrowed. She did not take out her wand.]

“Who is this person? What does he want with Merula and me?”

[The memory of Mundungus Fletcher telling her about a wizard in white robes -- of Madame Villanelle recalling that Mahoutokoro students’ robes went white when they turned to the Dark Arts -- rippled over her mind.]

Jacob: “(firmly) There’s no time to explain. Right now I just need you to trust me...okay?”

Trust...you have no idea how impossible that is, do you? All because you...

[Shoving down the memory of her mother and herself huddled up on the floor together sobbing inconsolably from her mind, Carewyn very reluctantly took out her wand and got into her proper dueling stance.

Jacob’s face spread into another wide, cocky smile.]

Jacob: “(earnestly) That’s my Pip.”

[Jacob wasn’t standing in the kind of “proper” stance that she was -- he held his wand over his chest with amazing swagger and confidence.]

Jacob: “Give me all you’ve got, now. Forget you’re dueling me -- pretend you’re fighting Rakepick.”

[Merula leaned up against the window of Borgin and Burke’s, her arms still crossed over her chest.]

Merula: ��You hear that, Cromwell? It’s kill or be killed.”

[Carewyn shot her a cool look.]

“I’m not interested in killing anyone, Merula.”

I don’t care how awful they are.

Jacob: “(seriously) She’s right, though. The people targeting you will kill you, if they get the chance. You can’t give them that chance -- so you have to do whatever you need to, to survive.”

[Merula smiled, looking rather vindicated.]

Merula: “Well! At least someone in your family has sense.”

[Carewyn tried to ignore her. Jacob’s face eased back into his usual, cocky smile.]

Jacob: “I’m not going to go easy on you, Pip -- so come at me! Kick my arse, got it?”

[Carewyn gave a short nod, trying not to look as hesitant as she felt.]

Jacob: “On the count of three, now. One...two...three!”

“Stupefy!”

Jacob: “Substituo!”

[All of a sudden, a lamp post that had been several yards away had been moved to directly in front of Jacob, and Carewyn’s spell bounced right off it.]

Jacob: “Locomotor Lamppost!”

[Within seconds, Jacob had chucked the lamppost right at his sister. It collided with her chest, knocking her off her feet and throwing her to the ground.]

“AUGH!”

[Jacob dashed to the right, his wand over his chest. His face was consumed with his usual cocky smile.]

Jacob: “Switching Spell combination! Neat, right? Engorgio! Duro!”

[The lamppost swelled up like some infected limb, morphing and contorting into some round, boulder-like mass of iron and glass.]

Jacob: “Collyrida!”

[The iron and glass boulder began rolling down the street, straight for Carewyn. Climbing back up onto her feet, she lashed her wand at the air.]

“Bombarda!”

[The boulder was blasted into a hundred pieces, throwing smoke and ash into the air. Carewyn plowed through the smoke, thinking to use it as a screen to get closer to Jacob.]

“Cantus!”

Jacob: “Accio Glass!”

[Jacob retrieved one of the larger fragments of glass and used it to bounce Carewyn’s spell right back at her, forcing her to summon a Shield to protect herself.]

“Protego!”

[Merula watched the two siblings go at it from the sidelines, her pink eyes very wide upon Jacob.]

Merula: “(stunned) Whoa.”

[Jacob was grinning from ear to ear at Carewyn.]

Jacob: “The Singing Jinx -- too perfect for you, Pip!”

[Carewyn, however, was way too focused on their duel now to talk.]

“Incarcerous!”

Jacob: “Cordavitta!”

[The black ropes that Carewyn threw out of her wand were transfigured into beautiful, flowing rainbow-colored ribbons that floated innocently to the ground.]

Jacob: “Use all your tools, Pip! Dueling spells are lovely and all, but everyone knows those! Vitta Vipera!”

[The rainbow ribbons abruptly twisted together and transformed into a single, massive cobra, which bared its fangs at Carewyn. Her heart racing with fear, Carewyn backed up, racking her brain -- ]

“V-Vipera Evanesca!”

[A blast of light hit the snake, making it dissolve away into a writhing line of gray smoke.]

Jacob: “(excitedly) Yes! Sicafumos!”

[The smoke that had once been snakes abruptly transformed into a hail of daggers hurtling through the air. Carewyn struggled to dodge them, but one sliced through her hair, just barely missing her ear.]

Jacob: “Good move, Pip! Don’t give up now, come on!”

[Carewyn dashed around Jacob, trying to stay out of his reach as she struggled to think up a strategy.

Jacob hadn’t used a single classic “Dueling Spell” since they’d started. Everything he’d used was something he must’ve learned in class or in a textbook -- most notably Transfiguration, which had always been Carewyn’s most difficult subject...]

Use all my tools, huh...?

[Carewyn knew she couldn’t compete with Jacob’s spell knowledge -- he easily knew more spells than she did. But maybe...

Remembering a trick she’d used in a duel with Bill, she aimed her wand at the ground at Jacob’s feet.]

“Bombarda!”

Jacob: “Crescomurus!”

[Jacob expanded the wall of a nearby building to create a shield to protect himself. However, since Carewyn had been aiming for his feet rather than properly at him, the ground broke apart, slamming Jacob off his feet and roughly in to the ground.]

Jacob: “Ugh!”

[Carewyn slashed her wand at the lengthened wall Jacob had created.]

“Reducto!”

[The wall blasted into pieces, leaving nothing but a smoky mist behind. She used the mist as cover to get closer -- Jacob, however, had already rolled onto his knees and raised his wand again.]

Jacob: “Sicofumos!”

[Once again, the smoky mist transfigured into daggers, but this time, Carewyn was ready.]

“Reparifarge!”

[In an instant, she’d undone Jacob’s Transfiguration, and the dozen knives faded away into dust again, grazing her skin and clothes with a light puff.

Carewyn noted a limp in Jacob’s step as he straightened up -- he’d landed on his ankle funny, when she’d thrown him to the ground -- ]

“Levicorpus!”

[Jacob was suddenly snatched up by his ankle and hoisted up into the air.]

Jacob: “Ack!”

“Immobulus!”

Jacob: “Carpe Retractum!”

[Jacob yanked a jagged fragment of brick out of the ground under his head, hoisting it up in front of him like a shield to block Carewyn’s spell.]

Jacob: “(fiercely) Yes, yes, YES! That’s it! Finite!”

[He fell back to the ground in a messy heap and stumbled back onto his feet.]

Jacob: “Avis!”

[A flock of angry-looking birds flew out of Jacob’s wand, straight at Carewyn.]

“Evanesco!”

[As quickly as her brother had conjured them, they’d disappeared.

Jacob suddenly looked overwhelmed by his excitement, his eyes brightening with positively boyish glee.]

Jacob: “You mastered Vanishing!”

[Carewyn knew why he was excited. Jacob had mentioned in one of his letters during his OWLs that Vanishing was one of the hardest branches of Transfiguration -- and sure enough, it was something she’d had to work very, very hard at to get right.

She couldn’t fight back a tiny, proud grin.]

“Got all O’s, just like you...”

[Jacob looked like he wanted to throw down his wand and hug her -- but Carewyn sure as Hell wasn’t going to let that momentary distraction pass her by.]

“Gliseo!”

[The ground under Jacob’s feet abruptly froze solid. With a yelp, Jacob slid right off his feet.]

“Depulso!”

Jacob: “Substituo!”

[In a second, Jacob had vanished, leaving a rubbish bin in his place. Carewyn looked around, trying to figure out where he’d Switched himself to -- ]

Jacob: “Fulgari!”

[Hearing Jacob’s voice behind her, Carewyn whirled around -- she quickly stowed her wand inside her jacket --

Just before Jacob’s glowing yellowish-white ropes could bind her, Carewyn had transformed into a robin. Taking flight, she soared over Jacob’s head.]

[Jacob gawked up at his little sister, his mouth open in shock, as Carewyn transformed back into a human in mid-air. As she quickly started to fall, she whipped out her wand again and pointed it at the ground.]

“Spongify!”

[She bounced back down to the ground as easily as if she’d landed on a trampoline. Still visibly stunned, Jacob began lashing out at Carewyn in turns, his mouth spreading into a positively manic grin.]

Jacob: “Venio Saggita! You’re an Animagus, Pip!?”

“Evanesco! Ugh...yes, I am!”

Jacob: “(positively bouncing) DUDE! Fulgari!”

[Carewyn evaded Jacob’s blast of light by ducking behind a wall. Jacob’s ankle was clearly still hurting him a bit -- he’d stayed rather stationary since she landed that hit on him --

She pointed her wand to her own chest.]

“Wingardium Leviosa!”

[As planned, when Jacob’s next spell collided with the wall, Carewyn had perfectly dodged it. Hovering over the spell, she aimed her wand down at her brother.]

“Stupefy!”

[Jacob looked up, startled.]

Jacob: “Stupefy!”

[The two Stunners collided in mid-air, canceling each other out in a small scarlet boom.]

Jacob: “(with a huge, cocky grin) Now, Pip, you’re supposed to look up to me, not the other way around! Conripio!”

[A rope burst out of his wand, winding around Carewyn’s leg. Jacob gave a yank and Carewyn yelped as she felt herself being pulled sharply back down to Earth.]

“Diffindo!”

[Just before she reached the ground, she successfully cut the rope Jacob had conjured. She landed roughly in a heap, but she forced down the aches in her shoulders and sides as she leapt back onto her feet.]

Jacob: “Ectomatic! Aqua Eructo!”

[Although she was able to block his first spell with a Scouring Charm, Carewyn wasn’t quite fast enough to avoid getting splashed with a gush of water from Jacob’s wand. Fortunately, as much as she didn’t like that her clothes and hair had gotten all wet, she was feeling much too competitive and focused to dwell on it.

Unfortunately Jacob used the water on her to get the upper-hand.]

Jacob: “Glacius Duo!”

[Carewyn felt her wet clothes suddenly constricting and her body suddenly chilling -- she raised her wand, trying to counterattack --

But it was no use. Jacob had used the water on her to encase her limbs in a thick layer of ice, making her unable to move.

Jacob lowered his wand at last, walking slowly over to his sister’s side with a broad smile.]

Jacob: “Incendio.”

[He thawed Carewyn out with a controlled flame from his wand. Her shoulders numb and shuddering from the cold, Carewyn peeled her wet bangs out of her eyes and glared up at her brother.]

“Freezing me in ice? Seriously, Jacob?”

[Jacob chuckled awkwardly.]

Jacob: “My bad, Pip...reckon that doesn’t bring back good memories, does it?”

Merula: “(laughs) Well, now you know it feels, Cromwell!”

[Carewyn shot Merula a glare over her shoulder.]

Don’t make me wish I’d left you frozen in that ice.

[Grinning from ear to ear, Jacob pointed his wand down at his foot without even looking down at it.]

Jacob: “Episkey.”

[Once he’d fixed the minor damage to his ankle, he grabbed one of Carewyn’s shoulders, squeezing it tight.]

Jacob: “That was out of sight, Pip -- you were brilliant!”

[Carewyn couldn’t meet his eye.]

“(lowly) I lost.”

Jacob: “(laughing) Not for lack of trying! You really gave me a run for my money there.”

[Seeing how surly his sister still looked, he offered her a slightly more reassuring look.]

Jacob: “Oh, come on -- perk up. I don’t duel like most people do -- it’s only natural I had the advantage. And even with that, you still held your own! You were able to change up your style, to match mine. You even started predicting my moves before I made them -- and without using Legilimency!”

“What would’ve been the point? I knew you could block me.”

Jacob: “Yes, but most others couldn’t.”

[He brought his fist gently under Carewyn’s chin, encouraging her to look up at him.]

Jacob: “You’re a force to be reckoned with, Pip. I’m so proud of you.”

[Carewyn felt a proud, encouraged warmth spreading all over her. Even as she looked Jacob in the eye, though, she couldn’t make herself smile.]

“...Thanks.”

[With a smile, Jacob lowered his hand and turned on his heel.]

Jacob: “Take care now, you hear?”

[But Carewyn, having predicted he might try to walk off at that exact point, had already seized hold of the back of his sleeve.]

“Jacob, stop. We need to talk -- alone.”

[Jacob glanced over his shoulder, startled by Carewyn’s urgency.]

Jacob: “I don’t have time, Pip.”

“(sharply) Make time.”

[Still holding his sleeve, she yanked him aside, putting some distance between them and Merula. She then whirled on him, her face much more desperate and her voice much more hushed.]

“Jacob, don’t disappear again. Let me help you -- ”

Jacob: “(very firmly) No.”

“You can’t fight R alone!”

Jacob: “I already told you, this is my fight.”

“You just told me you thought I was good -- was that a lie?”

Jacob: “(startled) What? No!”

“Then why won’t you let me help you? I’ve always helped you before!”

Jacob: “(bursting out) That’s exactly why I can’t let you help!”

[Jacob’s voice was shaking with anger, but it was a kind of anger that Carewyn could tell was wrought more from frustration and anxiety than any sort of wrath toward her.]

Jacob: “You got dragged into this mess because of me -- it’s my fault, entirely my fault, that you’ve been put in this much danger! I refuse to let you get involved more than you already have! I refuse to let you get hurt!”

[Carewyn’s heart ached.

She understood that thought process. It was exactly how she felt about her friends...why she’d stopped telling them anything about the Vaults...but...

His expression very solemn, Jacob brought his hand down onto Carewyn’s on his sleeve and gently pried her off.]

Jacob: “I’ll explain everything when I can, Pip, I promise. I just don’t -- ”

“ -- have time.”

[Carewyn wished that her voice hadn’t dripped with so much ice.

Jacob seemed to recoil slightly, his hand absently clutching at the sleeve she’d just been holding. His blue eyes were full of shame -- mirroring the expression he’d had back in the Vault -- ]

Jacob: “(very softly) ...Please be safe.”

[And in an instant, he was gone.

Carewyn’s eyes bore into the place he’d been standing on but barely registered it. Her gaze was endless and unfocused.]

You don’t want me involved...but I’m already involved, Jacob! R has already targeted me! I’m involved, but I’m fighting with blinders on, all because you won’t let me help you!

[She felt like she wanted to cry, but she stubbornly refused to.]

It’s one thing, for me to not want my friends involved -- R only targeted them to threaten me. But R isn’t just targeting me to threaten you, Jacob -- they’re after both of us. And what if it’s too much for you to handle alone? What if you get in over your head again -- just like you always do -- !?

[Carewyn hadn’t even realized Merula had come up beside her until she spoke.]

“Shut it, Merula.”

[Hating how harsh her voice sounded, Carewyn struggled to regain control of her temper.]

Detach -- forget -- detach --

“...Jacob will be back once this is all over.”

[Merula raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly.]

Merula: “He’s surprisingly cool, for someone related to you.”

[Carewyn gave Merula a rather piercing look.]

“‘Surprisingly cool?’ You taunted me about him being dead, in the past. Rather frequently, in fact.“

[Merula flushed darkly and she looked away awkwardly.]

Merula: “Well, yeah, but -- well, I didn’t know him then, did I? And we have...similar priorities, that’s all. He’s not bad at Dueling, either...wish I could’ve had a crack at him...”

[Carewyn’s eyes narrowed very sharply. She thought she knew exactly why Merula was blushing, and she really didn’t like it.]

“(very dully) Sorry, Merula, but you’re not Jacob’s type.”

Jacob may be an idiot when it comes to people, but even he’s not that dumb.

[Merula flushed an even darker shade of red.]

Merula: “What?! Who ever said I -- ?! Ugh!”

[She crossed her arms irritably.]

Merula: “At least your brother understands that when you’re up against Rakepick, or the person that’s after us, nothing’s off the table.”

[Carewyn looked straight ahead and away from Merula as she started to walk off, her nose slightly up in the air.]

“My brother is also clever enough to figure out a way to stop someone without killing them.”

[Carewyn had fully expected the conversation to be over, but Merula actually followed her out of Knockturn Alley.]

Merula: “Honestly -- I’d say your social life’s going to be a lot more interesting than mine, soon enough.”

[Carewyn raised her eyebrows.]

“Oh?”

[Merula only smirked.]

Merula: “Haven’t heard about the new ‘star’ at Hogwarts yet, then? Heh...well, you will, soon enough. Better hope he doesn’t steal your spotlight, Cromwell.��

((OOC: Whew! That duel took forever to write! But yes, Jacob Cromwell is a dueling prodigy, so Carewyn had to lose this one. It’s his single greatest talent, largely because of his exceptional Transfiguration skills and his creativity. If Carewyn’s good at dueling because she can read her opponent and use common sense, then Jacob’s good at dueling because of the astounding amount of spells he’s mastered and how he applies them in unique ways. I do see Carewyn being one of the very few opponents that’s ever made Jacob sweat, even though he was trying to train her in his own weird way -- usually he takes down his opponents pretty quickly, taunting them the entire way. Arrogant little bugger.

Ah, Jacob Cromwell, I love you, my boy -- I just wish the game gave me the option to customize you so you don’t look like a shaved version of Ronald McDonald with black lipstick in your official screenshots... *snorts*

A lot of Jacob’s spells’ incantations were made up by me, often as a direct Latin translation for what they do. For example, “Venio Saggita,” means “air arrows,” which would be an incantation for a spell (originally cast non-verbally in canon) that conjures arrows out of thin air. A few others I found through HP Wiki and belonged to other HP properties like the PC games made back in the 90′s.))

#carewyn cromwell #jacob cromwell #jacob's sibling #jacob #hphm #hogwarts mystery #roleplaying #gameplay #my art #merula snyde #patricia rakepick

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mellifluousleaf · 5 years

Text

Tell Me Your Lies Pt. 16 & 17 (Final)

Pairing: Poly!BTS x Reader

Word Count: Unknown, but it’s really long

Warning(s): some angst and fluff

Posted 6 June 2019 at 2:55 AM

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16/17 (final)

Quick Synopsis: Even the sweetest of angels will sin

Author’s note: Hi ya’ll it’s been a while. This school year was hectic and I just couldn’t get around to this series as much as I wished. Truth be said, I got stuck on where to lead this story. I have an idea for the ending, but the middle part was a blur. Parts 13-15 are parts I kind of want to revise but I just don’t even know where to begin. I’m deeply sorry and apologetic to those who have been reading this series and staying with me for this whole time. I’m sorry for the late uploads, I just don’t want to rush my writing and put out something I know I didn’t put all my effort into. But thank you so much for those who have stayed and still supported me. It means a lot. No words can describe how happy I am to still see people finding this series and reading it. I hope to finish this series during my summer break before this series reaches its one year anniversary. I hope to improve my writing more and make this series enjoyable for everyone. Thank you once again and please feel free to send any messages to me. <3

————PART 16 —————

Y/N’s POV:

Three months… They said three months.

The first month was fine. We called and texted every day and night, and then, it just all stopped.....

I called continuously but they never picked up. They just ended up sending a small text saying they were busy. Nothing more, nothing less.

I wanted to text more, but I worried I would just be disturbing them. I mean, going on a world tour is a difficult thing, but maybe they could’ve saved five minutes a day to maybe just chat with me? Maybe I’m just being too clingy....

By the third month, my phone, which was once constantly blowing up with notifications from the boys, was silent. Every time my phone chimed, my heart would flutter in hope, but then I would realize it was a random notification from my other apps.

Did I do something wrong?

Each day following the moment they stopped texting me was a struggle. In addition, I did’t understand what was going on with me. I continually had a tight feeling wrapped around my heart. Each day, it felt more constrictive. I went to the doctors but they said I was fine, nothing wrong.

On top of that, my dreams have been getting out of hand. There has been a reoccurring crow that circles in my dream. It’s been trying to attack me every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I’ve spent countless nights waking up in a cold sweat. Something has been really off, but I just can’t put my finger on it.

It’s been a hectic three months but today all the boys were coming back. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to see them, and hopefully they haven’t changed much.....

----------------------------------------------

2nd Person POV:

Once your shift at work ended, you dashed out to your car, excited to head back to the dorms. It’s been three months since you’ve last stepped foot in there, and you couldn’t wait to go back and see the boys again.

Your car pulled into the dorm’s garage and parked in the spot they had reserved for you. The sound of your feet jogging to the elevator echoed through the silent garage. It was night time now and the only light that illuminated the floors was the new moon.

You quickly punched in the access code and happily jumped into the elevator the moment the silver doors softly slid open. You fished the electronic key out of your bag and tapped it against the security detector box. The doors proceeded to close shut as the elevator made its ascent back up to the dorm floor. You couldn’t help small smile that ghosted over your lips.

The elevator began to slow its movements as it arrived at the destination. You darted out of the elevator and towards the dorm’s entrance door, the dorm key the boys gave you a long time ago dangling in your right hand. You slowly slid the key into place and began to turn it. The familiar sound of the metal clicking into place sent chills down your spine.

I’m back home....

You gently opened the door to be met with a quiet and dark living room. The boys’ luggage littered the entire room, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the mess they made. You feet shuffled to the familiar hallway where all the others’ rooms were located. Your head tilted in confusion as you saw a soft dim light seeping from underneath one of the doors.

Is one of them still awake?

Your quiet footsteps shuffled closer to the door but paused at the sound that seeped from the cracks of the door.

Your ears strained to hear, but then it became apparent to you what was going on.

The sound of a female’s moan echoed through the silent hallways. It was loud and clear now. Deep murmurs of appraisal from what sounded like seven males followed after.

No... they wouldn’t dare. They’re too sweet and kind to do this.

Your heart rate picked up as you quickly pulled your phone from your pocket. Your hands wavered for a bit as you pulled up your contacts. You scrolled until you found Namjoon’s contact.

He always answers, I know it

You pressed the call button and waited.

You could hear the muffled ringtone coming from the other side of the door. The room quickly went silent as you heard Namjoon shushing the others.

“Oh hey sweetheart, the boys and I just got off the plane. We’re really tired and we plan to sleep for the majority of tomorrow. We’ll call you when we wake up, okay?” Namjoon said, his voice pouring out from the phone. His fake attempt to sound jet lagged and sleepy almost deceived you if it weren’t for the fact that you were right outside the room he was actually in.

“Okay, no worries,” you quietly replied back, trying your best not to let your voice reveal your emotions.

“Thanks baby girl, love you,” Namjoon replied, cutting the call off without even waiting for your reply. A few seconds of silence soon followed before the sound of a female’s giggle resonated through the hallway.

You didn’t want to put yourself through anymore pain so you just slowly began to make your way back to the front door. That restrictive feeling around your heart that you’ve been feeling for the past month began to close in around you. Each step towards the door felt harder and harder.

Shallow breaths barely make their way past your lips and you reach for the handle.

What the hell is going on now?

The next moment, your vision begins to change and dim. Your hand weakly grips the handle, but your strength has left your body entirely. Your eyes begin to droop as the sound of your heart rate fills your ears. Soon darkness begins to consume your every being. All that you could hear before you lost conscious was your heart beat. It sounded just like the wings of the crow from your dreams. Your body and head dropped to the floor as the living room went deadly quiet and dark. The new moon slid behind the clouds and your mind went into your dream world.

----------------------------------------

Dream:

Everything was dark and cold. You had no clue where you were. The sound of a knife slicing through the air rang throughout the place. You began to tremble as the sound of a bird beating its wings neared.

It’s that damn crow again. It wouldn’t leave you alone. The glimmer of a crow’s golden eye passed by before disappearing into the darkness. Next was an eye with an amethyst color followed by a stormy grey eye. You ducked in fear as the sound of a crow diving down got closer. You felt the air above you shift as another crow passed in front of you. This time its eye was the color of a deep ruby. The crow blinked and it was an icy blue color this time. The image of the crow melted away and you were once again left in darkness.

Within a split second, claws had pinned you down against the cold hard floor. You tried screaming but nothing came out. All that appeared in front of you was the dark silhouette of a crow. One eye was colored a deep emerald green while the other was an unusual hazel with stark gold curling around the pupil. You tried to scream and move away but found yourself paralyzed. The sharp sound of a knife slicing through the air started again and increased in intensity within a few seconds. You blinked and looked up at the crow still pinning you down. You gasped as you saw the eyes turned to a glossy black marble color. The crow’s screech harmonized with the sound of the knife slicing through the air. Your head became fuzzy as your panic reached an all new high. Too much adrenaline ran through and in the next second you were back to floating in darkness. Nothing moved, nothing existed, nothing.

-------------------------------------------------------

-Two hours later-

As the new moon passed over the dark clouds, all seven males awoke from their slumber. The room was dark, but they knew something was off. They all met each other’s piercing and confusing gazes before all quickly getting up. They froze in panic, realizing they weren't alone in the room.

Their eyes wandered to the bundle that sleepily shifted under the blankets. Yoongi quietly moved the covers to reveal a sleeping female dressed in her bra and panties. Upon realizing the woman was half dressed, Yoongi quickly put the covers back over the body, his eyes widening in surprise at the realization that the woman wasn’t Y/N. Silent communication passed around the seven males before Namjoon stepped forward. He gently moved the covers to reveal the woman’s forehead. He lightly pressed his palm to her head as his eyes shifted colors. He sorted through her memory and checked last nights events. He then proceeded to clear any memory of her meeting BTS before stepping back.

Namjoon sighed in relief at the realization that no sexual intercourse happened during their encounter with the woman. Seokjin stepped forward next and proceeded to gather the woman in a bridal style, making sure the covers didn’t slip off of her. Namjoon softly murmured the address of the female’s place that he retrieved from her memory. Seokjin nodded and headed towards a window. Jimin quickly unlatched it as Seokjin’s tattered wings spread from his back. In a flash. Seokjin was out the window, nothing but a slight breeze to indicate that Seokjin was even there a second ago. A few seconds passed before Seokjin appeared before the six males again, a silent nod to indicate that the woman was back safe and sound where she belonged.

None of the seven males spoke as they tried to gather their thoughts together. Questions bombarded their minds as the silence consumed each of them. How did they end up back at the dorms? Why aren’t they still on tour? Why was there a woman other than Y/N in the bed? What day was it even?

At the realization that it may not be the day they thought it was, all seven males scrambled through to reach their phone in their pocket. They simultaneously turned their phone on to reveal that a span of two months has passed since their last memory of consciousness.

“What the fuck.....” Jungkook softly murmured out.

“It’s...It’s not just me right? I swear to god I don’t remember anything this past two months,” Hoseok shakily said, a slight panic setting into his mind.

“Jungkook, y-your camera. You were recording for your next Golden Films video right? Maybe we can find evidence there?” Jimin stuttered out, his eyes filled with distress and confusion of the situation.

All seven males quickly filed out of the room and into the living room. Jungkook ran ahead and made a quick dart for his luggage in order to hopefully find his professional camera in there but stopped in his tracks as he realized the lump of shadows near the front door.

Jungkook squinted his eyes in the dark, but it didn’t take long for him to recognize the shape of your body and your hair splayed all over the floor.

“Y/N!” He yelled in panic, his body instinctively running to yours. The others heard the younger one’s yell of distress before they began running to the front door too.

Jungkook quickly dropped to the floor and gathered you up in his arms, his eyes darting everywhere to check your physical state. As he cradled your head, the air surrounding the both of you began to hum with an oddly static noise.

“Jungkook what the fuck are you doing?” Taehyung said in a panicked voice the moment he became aware of the electricity flowing from Jungkook’s body.

“I-I don’t know. Something’s happening... I think today’s events have really affected me,” Jungkook replied, his arms still delicately holding you.

“No time for talking, we need to get her to a bed so I can check for any concussion, “ Jin quickly said, urging the younger boy to carry you to a room.

Jungkook quickly gathered you into his arms as he carried down the hall to the room they were in with you the night before they left for the tour.

As the door creaked open, the seven males were met with a darkly lit room, the new moon peeking behind the curtains. Nothing had moved or changed since the last time you and the seven members were there.

Silence encased the room as Jungkook settled you down on the bed, moving aside to allow Namjoon and Seokjin to observe any injuries you may have.

After ensuring no physical damage was done to you, all seven members finally let out the breath they were holding. No words could describe the worry that swam through their thoughts on how you ended up at the dorms unconscious on the floor.

“What do we do now?” Jimin wondered, the exhaustion from the day’s stresses finally taking a toll on his mind.

“I’ll go back to searching for my camera. We need to find out what happened these last few months. You guys should check your phones for any clues then,” Jungkook said, heading out the room without a glance back.

The others murmured in agreement as they found places to sit around the room. They all pulled out their phone and began their search for any clue of the past two months.

“Hey guys.... look at the group chat...” Yoongi said, his eyes quizzically analyzing the phone.

“I don’t remember texting her saying we were too busy...” Hoseok mumbled out, staring at the group chat with confusion.

“Same here, I don’t remember texting her that too....” Seokjin said.

“That means we lost our memories from that day onward. We were texting Y/n everyday until then,” Namjoon noted, his fingers scrolling up to the previous texts in the group chat.

A few seconds later, Jungkook rushed through the door, holding his camera in both hands.

“I found it,” Jungkook panted out, sitting on the floor as the other males surrounded him.

The room fell silent as Jungkook turned the camera on and headed straight for the most recently stored video.

The sound of an audience cheering spilled from the professional camera, concert lights flashing from the tiny screen. Jungkook quickly pressed the rewind button and watched as the screen distorted and stretched.

“Hold on, I saw something just now. Go back a little,” Namjoon said, squinting down at the lit up screen.

Jungkook followed Namjoon’s directions and slowed down the video back to regular speed.

The sounds of sharp static radiated from the device. The screen displayed a small clip of gold shimmering wings being released from someone’s back, the feathers turning an ash black as a few seconds passed. The clip quickly changed to a video of the glimmering eyes of each members eyes when they are usually out of control. It happened for a split second before the device switched back to images of the concert.

“Wait go back, that was so fast...” Jimin said, face morphed into a perplexed feature.

Jungkook did as asked, slowing the video down by half. The images appeared again, and this time it revealed a set of seven crow feathers falling and turning to gold. The feathers fell and landed in a perfect circle.

“What the fuck....” Yoongi breathed out, disturbed by the scene being shown.

“Continue rewinding it Jungkook, there might be more clues.....” Taehyung said, his breath coming out shallow.

Jungkook re winded the videos, but after a few minutes more, it was revealed that there was nothing more than videos of the concert.

“What the hell was those clips supposed to mean?” Hoseok wondered, standing up from the chair he was previously sitting in.

“I-I don’t know” Seokjin replied, confused at the events.

“Jungkook can you show it again?” Namjoon asked, moving closer to the screen.

Jungkook nodded and sped the video back to where the clip was supposed to be. When Jungkook got to where the clip was last time, he was met instead with videos of the concert. Jungkook frowned with confusion as he continued speeding the video to the end. Not once did the previous mysterious clips appear.

“Where’d they go?” Jungkook wondered.

Jungkook re winded through all the videos again but found nothing.

“T-They’re... they’re gone...” Jungkook said in disbelief, passing the camera to Namjoon. Namjoon’s fingers quickly went through all the videos too but found nothing either.

“No that can’t be... that’s our only clue of what might have happened....” Namjoon whispered out, his eyes darting through all of the camera’s storage.

Just as Namjoon put the camera down and turned it off, everyone stilled in the room as they heard a soft rustling from the bed.

“W-Where am I,” you groaned out, sitting in bed. Your eyes met all seven males as you became conscious. Flashes of the memories from just a few hours ago played in your mind immediately. Pain and anger quickly surged through your veins as you quickly threw the covers off of you.

“You all are sick.... playing with me like I’m just some toy last night.... fucking sick...” you softly spat out, getting out of bed and making a beeline to the room’s door.

Upon realizing that you meant the woman that was randomly in the room a few hours ago when the boys woke up, Jimin was quick to block the door.

“No no Y/n, it wasn’t what it seemed. We promise. Please let us explain...” Jimin blurted out, his body blocking the entrance.

You ignored his comment as you tried pushing past Jimin. Jimin quickly wrapped his arms around you as he tried to hold you in place. You began to squirm and push against his chest.

“Let me go!” you yelled, using all your force to get him off.

“Please Y/n, we can explain everything, please...” Seokjin said, walking closer to you.

You continued to struggle but your energy was being drained fast. Soon enough you were just a ball of tears, all your emotions erupting at once.

“Oh god please no, please don’t cry sweetheart,” Hoseok said, his heart constricting in response to your tears.

You continued to cry more, letting out all the tears you kept from the past two months. You felt so alone those past two months and it really emotionally pained you to be away from all seven members.

As you continued to cry, the boys were quickly became aware of all their eyes switching colors to their unstable mode and staying that way. They all felt the air begin to buzz with different elements of nature.

“Hey guy.... cut it out....” Jimin said, aware of the atmosphere changing. He was still holding your sobbing body, his heart nearly bursting from pain. Upon hearing another sob come from you, Jimin’s body also weakened and he ended up on his knees, you still being cradled in his arms.

All the other six members had also ended up on the floor, a few writhing on the ground due to the pain that erupted through their entire body.

“Shit... it must be the bond that we left uncompleted.... it’s making us all unstable now,” Namjoon gritted out, his eyes closed as another wave of pain over took his body.

Another pulse of pain sent all seven males into a groaning mess. They felt like their heart was being torn up.

“Please don’t cry Y/n, please....” Jimin softly whispered to you in pain. He held you close to him because it was the only way he could alleviate some of the pain he was experiencing.

“I-I’m sorry.... Ii’s- It’s just been so tough without you all here for t-the past two months, and w-what I heard last night j-just really broke me... a-and I know I should h-hear you guys out, but m-my emotions got in the way...” you sniffled out, your tears beginning to slow down.

No words could describe how much guilt they felt for putting you through those two months of pain.

Once your tears settled into only sniffles, the males were able to finally regain control of their body. They all moved to sit around you and Jimin, ready to explain themselves.

“Are you still okay with us explaining ourselves or do you want so more time love?” Taehyung asked, reaching over to smooth your hair down.

“I’m ready right now,” you managed out, your voice slightly sore from sobbing earlier.

“Okay this is going to sound extremely terrible but all seven of us don’t have a single recollection of our memories from the past two months...” Namjoon started.

“We’ve only regained our conscious back when we woke up today. We had no clue who that woman was, but we can assure you that nothing intimate happened between her and us. Namjoon checked her memories and it showed nothing,” Seokjin chimed in, his voice spoken in a soft whisper because he was afraid that even the smallest noise could hurt you right now.

“But..... how is that possible? You guys were on tour and everything. You were all still performing as usual and....”

“We’re not sure. We tried looking through Jungkook’s camera but it showed no evidence besides some mysterious clip. All it showed were some clips of angel wings and feathers and stuff, “ Yoongi mentioned, his eyes glancing at the abandoned camera laying on the ground a few feet away.

“But for some reason, those off clips were removed from the device within a second. We still don’t understand them and how they went missing so fast,” Hoseok said, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“How do I know you all aren’t just lying to me...”

“Because you’re our -” mate. Jungkook frowned once he remembered that it was near impossible to say anything about you being their mate without their voices cracking.

“Because I’m your..?” you repeated back, your head tilted in confusion.

“Because you’re our only reason to live on this earth. We could go anywhere in the world, but we want to always stay by your side because you feel like home. You are our home,” Jimin softly said, finishing the sentence for Jungkook. Jimin’s arms still delicatly surrounded you, providing you a comfortable feeling of warmth.

“We really can’t explain it further than this Y/n.... this is all we can piece together. We’re sorry......”

“We understand if you don’t believe us, but please know we would never intentionally hurt you. We would rather have the world collapse than be forced to hurt you....”

All seven boys had their head tilted down in guilt and pain. They wished so badly to be able to know what really happened, to be able to explain everything, but they had nothing to go off of.

You looked around and felt your heart constrict at the sight before you. It was a scene of seven broken males who were lost.

Logically, you knew you shouldn’t easily believe their reasoning, but at the same time, a part of you knew they really were telling the truth.

“None of this makes sense..... but I’ll trust you. Please don’t make me regret this decision...” you softly said, causing all seven boys to look up in surprise.

Before you could say anything more, you were being ambushed by all the members. Soft butterfly kisses were being placed all over your face, and you felt your body being hugged tightly.

An airy laugh escaped from you before you could help it.

You felt like you were finally home.

---------------- PART 17 --------------------

- a month later-

“Hurry up guys! You all are so slow!” Jungkook yelled as he ran down the beach, you clinging onto his back for dear life.

“Wait Jungkook slow down! You might trip,” you yelled as your arms wrapped themselves against Jungkook more.

Jungkook just laughed at your warning as he began to spin you around.

You closed your eyes and let out a small scream for help. In a matter of seconds, you found yourself in the arms of someone else. You slowly peeled your eyes open to come face to face with Hoseok. He smiled down with you before placing a small kiss on the tip of your nose.

“You called for help, princess?” He chuckled out as he continued carrying you to one of the beach seats.

You all were taking a quick break on a private island, the day before their big concert in Korea, and it was an amazing time of your life. The boys finished their rehearsal early and decided to steal you away to a small vacation before the concert tomorrow.

You let out a small chuckle as your replied.

“Thank you my dashing prince,” you jokingly said, wrapping your arms around Hoseok’s neck. You placed a small kiss on his cheek and immediately saw him begin to blush.

You began to laugh more as you noticed the dust of rose that appeared on his cheeks.

“Is that a blush I see right there?” you laughed out, enjoying how shy Hoseok got from the kiss you gave him.

“Uhh I have no clue what you’re talking about, uhhh look over there! Birds!” Hoseok quickly said, trying to distract you. As he did that, he was quick to place you down on the beach chair before disappearing to chase Jungkook.

You laughed to yourself as you settled under the shade from the umbrella placed near the beach chair. A few seconds later, you saw another chair appearing next to you. Yoongi quickly settled in the vacant spot and threw you a lazy grin.

“Hey beauitful, mind if I join you under the shade?” Yoongi asked.

“Hmm... you might have a small price to pay in order to sit there,” you joked back, meeting the soft gaze of Yoongi’s.

“And what would that be?” Yoongi said, leaning over to you, his face coming extremely close to yours. His eyes flickered down to your lips before going back to your eyes.

“A kiss,” you replied back, a smile blossoming onto both you and Yoongi’s face.

Yoongi didn’t hesitate before he placed his lips softly against yours. He leaned back and stared adoringly at you.

“Hold still for a second my muse, I also have a small gift for you,” he said. You watched as he held out his palm and began to summon crystals to appear from thin air. In seconds, a beautiful tropical flower made of soft blue ice crystals appeared. You blushed a little as Yoongi moved forward to place the flower in your hair.

“It shouldn’t melt or anything so it’ll help keep you a little cool under the sun,” he softly murmured, pushing some of your hair out of your face.

Just as you were about to go in for another kiss, the sound of Seokjin’s laughter got louder. Soon after, you heard Namjoon groan in response to Seokjin’s pun.

You smiled to yourself as you looked behind you to see both males walking over to where you were, each carrying a beach chair of their own.

“Y/N! Come listen to this great pun I just said! It’s hilarious!” Soekjin said upon noticing you gazing at him.

He began to quicken his pace as he neared you. In a matter of seconds, Seokjin had lifted you bridal style off of your chair as he whispered the pun to you. Instantly you were laughing in response. Seokjin’s face lit up immediately at the sound of your laughter. Soon he began to pepper butterfly kisses all over your face.

“Wait, Jin! That tickles!” you playfully yelled out, trying to avoid the onslaught of kisses.

Just as Soekjin was about to begin another round of kisses, Namjoon lifted you from Jin’s arms and placed you back on your chair.

“I can’t believe you actually found his pun funny,” Namjoon chuckled out, pushing some of your hair out of your face.

“Oh come on Joonie, it was pretty funny, “ you laughed out, placing both of your hands on his cheeks. Your fingers began to poke at the dimples that appeared as Namjoon smiled upon hearing you call him Joonie.

“Hmm... okay I’ll admit it was a bit funny. Just don’t tell Jin that,” Namjoon chuckled out, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead, followed by your cheeks, then quickly pecking your lips.

“Your secret is safe with me,” you replied, staring lovingly into his hazel brown eyes.

“Hey Namjoon! Move your lazy butt and come over here and help me carry the cooler!” Seokjin yelled as he attempted to drag the blue box across the sand.

Namjoon smiled to himself as he shook his head in amusement. He placed one more kiss on the top of your head before moving to help Seokjin. You glanced over to see how Yoongi was doing, but ended up smiling to yourself as you saw him passed out on the chair, his hat covering part of his face.

You leaned back in your chair and closed your eyes, enjoying the sounds of the ocean. However your mind was quickly taken away from the sounds when you felt someone covering your eyes.

“Guess whooooo?” Taehyung said, trying to hold in his laughter.

“Tae, I know it’s you because of your voice,” you giggled out, moving his hands away as you looked behind your chair. Taehyung gave you a sheepish grin before moving to stand in front of you. He held out his hand, and you reached up to hold it in response.

“Come on princess, lets go to the ocean for a bit,” Taehyung said, sending you a wink as he pulled you to your feet.

You gave him a big smile as you felt him tug you to the ocean, your feet sinking slightly into the warm sand. After a few steps, Taehyung paused, his head still facing the ocean.

“Tae, is there something wr-”

Quickly, Taehyung had turned around and threw you over his shoulder, laughing loudly as you screamed in surprise.

“Kim Taehyung, put me down so I can kick your butt for scaring me!” You playfully yelled, your body dangling down Taehyung’s back.

Taehyung laughed at your statement before giving your butt a small smack as he continued walking.

“No can do baby girl, I got to get you to the ocean before I can put you down. The sand is super hot and could burn your feet,” Taehyung chuckled out. Just as he reached the part of the beach where the water met sand, he finally put you down, a boxy grin already on his face. You tried to pretend to be mad at him, but you couldn’t help the smile that made its way on to your lips. As you were about to say something, you felt the cold water of the ocean crash against your feet.

You yelped at the sudden cold feeling and instinctively clung to Taehyung. Taehyung chuckled at your reaction and wrapped his arms around you in a protective manner. He dipped his head down to plant a kiss in the crook of your neck.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I got you. Nothing will hurt you as long as I’m here,” he softly whispered, planting another kiss on your neck. You shivered as his deep voice reached your ears, your mind becoming distracted from the cold water that splashed at your feet.

You both pulled apart and stared at each other with indescribable adoration. Just as Taehyung leaned in to kiss you upon your lips, he quickly pulled back as he felt water being sprayed against his back.

Taehyung quickly whipped around to meet the gaze of a terrified Jungkook. Jungkook held a water gun in his arms as he threw a sheepish grin at Taehyung, fear radiating from him.

“Jungkook, you better start running now!” Taehyung scolded out, already sprinting towards a terrified Jungkook.

Jungkook quickly threw his water gun down, darting back up to shore while Taehyung was close on his trail.

A soft laugh escaped from you as you watched the scene. While you were entertained by the scene of the two males running around, Jimin had secretly appeared behind you, his hair slightly damp from the ocean. His arms slowly wrapped around you, surprising you in the process. You couldn’t help the grin that appeared on your face when you realized whose hands were holding you against their chest. No words were said as the salty ocean wind wrapped around the both of you. Jimin hid his face in your neck, whispering how much he loves you.

“Want to see a magic trick?” Jimin whispered into your ear, softly nipping your earlobe in the process.

You nodded in response to his question, leaning your back into his chest more as the ocean breeze picked up slightly.

Jimin smiled and wrapped his hands closer around you. He then raised one hand and motioned the water to move, and the ocean responded to his wishes quickly. He then moved his hands in such a way that created a dome of water that encased the both of you. You were mesmerized at the fishes and crabs that flowed in the water that Jimin controlled. You leaned forward as you tried to touch a fish, but the fish was a little faster than your hand. You let out a small chuckle as you saw the tiny fish dart around the dome of water.

Jimin gently moved his fingers and managed to trap the fish you were looking at into a ball of water that was separate from the dome. He moved it and brought it closer to you. You were in awe at the beautiful colors that glowed off the fish.

Just as Jimin was about to do another trick with the water, Namjoon called from the shore.

“Food is ready! Come and get it!”

“You hungry my love?” Jimin asked, returning all of the water back to the ocean.

“Yeah, we should head to shore soon,” you replied, turning around to face Jimin, you arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

He sent you a flirtatious smirk before grabbing your waist and lifting you up. He wrapped your legs around his waist and carried you all the way to shore. As he walked, he placed kisses upon your cheek, adoring how you blushed at each kiss you received.

Once you both reached the shore, you joined the others and had a big feast. It was one of the best times in your life, you felt.

At the end of the feast, all eight of you had climbed the truck that you guys drove in to arrive on this spot on the island. The sun was close to setting, but it hadn’t gone down just yet. All seven males surrounded you, providing you with warmth and love. They all were joking around and discussing the funny mistakes they have done while practicing for concerts. You laughed along as Jungkook was being teased by his elders.

“Oh shoot, I left my Polaroid camera on the picnic bench,” Taehyung quickly said, his eyes squinting as he stared at the table that was a few meters away from the truck.

“I can go get it, I left my sunglasses there too,” you offered, already moving off the truck before the others could interject.

“Wait, are you sure princess, one of can go get it instead,” Seokjin said, his eyes furrowed with worry as you slid off the truck and onto the soft sand.

“Mhm, it’s not that far so I’ll be okay,” you said, sending all seven males a heart stopping smile. You quickly turned around and made your way to the picnic bench, grabbing the camera and sunglasses.

As you made you turned around, you saw all seven males still chatting away on the truck with their backs to you, the sun still bright and strong in the sky. It was a perfect picture moment.

Hmm I don’t think Taehyung will mind if i used the camera once

You raised the camera to your eye and steadied your hand. A slow breath left you as you snapped the photo, the clicking sound of the camera being camouflaged by the sounds of the ocean waves. You watched as the photo was released from the device, the image slowly being developed before your eyes. The final picture was simple but it was perfect to you. You tucked the photo away into your pocket and continued your way to the boys.

The rest of the day was spend upon the truck, watching the sun set as the sky began to fill with stars. Each member took their turn in pointing out constellations in the sky and making new ones up. It was a beautiful and unforgettable day for you. Soon sleep had began to overtake you, and the boys became aware of that. They all piled into the truck, Hoseok carrying into the back seat so you could sleep. They headed back to the private jet waiting for them about a mile or two down the island shore.

Within an hour or two, all eight of you had arrived at the same hotel you had all first met in. The same room was rented out again, and it was as if nothing had really changed from the last time they were there, The gold decor still shined on the walls and tables, the curtains drawn back to reveal the moon shining bright in the sky.

Jungkook had carried your sleeping body from the car and into the hotel. He brought you to a room they decided would be yours for the night. He carefully tucked you in before pressing a delicate kiss upon your forehead. He whispered a good night before closing your door behind him, heading to the room he would be sharing with Taehyung for the night.

The entire hotel room was quiet as the next day soon began.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up due to the sounds of chairs being moved and footsteps running around.

You turned your head to the side to look at the clock.

9:00 AM

You looked around at your surrounding and soon realized you were back at the hotel that you had first met the boys at. Your eyes landed on the small porcelain figurine that sat on the bed side table. It was the crouching angle with the wings wrapped around itself. This time, however, all feathers of the wings were painted gold.

Hmm they must have fixed the scratches and painted it

You got out of bed and looked outside to see what was going on. When you sleepy entered the living room area, you were met with all the boys running around, trying to get their clothes in bags.

“Uhh morning?” you squeaked out, watching as Jimin and Yoongi nearly run into each other.

You were met with a chorus of cheerful good mornings, each male sending you their signature smile.

“We’re heading to the arena in an hour or so. You should get ready too, you’re going to be back stage for this concert,” Namjoon said, sending you a quick wink.

“Oh, I’m going to be with you guys this concert?” you asked back, surprised at the sudden invitation.

“Yup, we need our good luck charm with us,” Taehyung said, sliding past you and planting a kiss on your cheek as he headed down the hall.

You chuckled and headed back to your room, quickly diving for your small duffel bag of clothes in search of something to wear. As you were getting ready, you noticed something fall out of your pocket. It was the picture from yesterday. You smiled down at the photo before tucking it away in the pocket of the jeans you were going to wear to the concert.

Within an hour, everyone in the hotel room was ready to go. You were extremely excited because this was going to be your second ever time seeing a BTS concert. and this time you got to be back stage with all seven of them.

Everyone quickly made their way out of the hotel room and to the van waiting outside for them. The trip to the arena was short, and from the moment the boys stepped out of the van, they were being ushered quickly to hair and makeup. You were guided to one of the waiting rooms filled with snacks, drinks, and a TV. Some of the boys would occasionally pop in when it wasn’t their turn to get dressed or have their hair done, usually just cuddling with you until they had to rush out again.

Soon, it was time for the boys to begin their concert. You were brought to a special private spot behind stage where you could see where the boys would be performing. The crowd was cheering loud, and you couldn’t help but smile at how proud you were of all seven males.

Your smile widened as you saw all of the members appear before you, dressed in dazzling outfits.

“May we get a quick good luck kiss before we go perform my dear princess?” Seokjin asked, taking your hand and kissing the back of it.

You laughed at his request and nodded yes in response to his question. You gave each one a kiss on the cheek, whispering a good luck to each one as they received their kiss.

Before you knew it, all seven males were out on stage, beginning the concert. The crowd was going wild, and the lights were flashing. You thought you saw the slight illumination of the silhouette of the wings for the members, but you couldn’t tell because it disappeared as soon as it appeared. Each male stood on stage with a strong and confident aura radiating off of them. They really did look like angels on stage.

--------------------------------------------------

The concert came to an end around 12:30 AM, the lights dimming as they finished the final note of Let Go. It was a beautiful scene, the lights shinning on the seven boys, their skin glistening under the flashing lights. It was like an unforgettable scene.

You and the boys made your way back to the hotel under the shadows of the night, The full moon was shining bright in the sky, glimmering alongside the stars. All seven males were exhausted from the concert, but they were proud of the performance they gave.

“Do you all want to maybe watch a movie when we get back?” Jimin suggested as you all rode the elevator to the seventh floor.

All the others murmured in agreement, liking the idea of maybe all spending the night in the living room together.

The elevator’s metal doors slid open to reveal the dimmed hallway, the elegant decorations on the wall still glimmering. Within a few minutes, all eight of you were sprawled all over the living room, a Netflix movie being played. You sat on Taehyung’s lap, curled up to him as you watched the movie. Jungkook and Hoseok sat on the ground right in front of you, their heads leaned back so thay you could play with their hair whenever you wanted to. Yoongi sat to the left of Taehyung, letting you absentmindedly play with the rings on his hand from time to time. Jimin was on the right side of Taehyung, his hands often playing with your hair as he watched the movie. Namjoon sat to the left of Yoongi while Seokjin was on the right of Jimin. Both would often steal glances at you when you weren’t looking, admiring the beautiful moonlight against your skin.

Through two thirds of the movie, you had begun to fall asleep against Taehyung, your eyes barely keeping open. Soon enough, your head began to droop, and all seven males took quick note of that. Taehyung began to sing a little of Spring Day, in hopes to help you fall asleep faster. The others were quick to join in as they saw the lullaby working on you. Quickly, your eyes fluttered close as your breaths evened. All members stared at your sleeping form and couldn’t help the happiness that filled their minds. Namjoon quickly turned off the movie and silently communicated to the others that it would best to sleep now too.

The others nodded in agreement before closing their eyes, letting sleep finally take over. The full moon slipped behind clouds and left the living room in a blanket of delicate shadows, nothing moving as the night continued.

-------------------------------------

The bright sun shone through the room, causing you to stir awake. You slowly peeled your eyes open to reveal the hotel living room. Your vision began to clear and you found yourself gazing at the angel statue sitting on the table, the same one you saw earlier on your bed side. The gold feathers glistened under the sun’s ray, causing a small rainbow to be splayed upon the table. You sat up and looked around, confused at why the other boys weren’t near by. You looked around and saw the place was kept clean and tidy, no more clothes laying all over the floor from the previous day when the members were rushing around to prepare for the concert.

You got up and checked the hallway to see if any of the members were there. You called out for each of them, but were met with silence. You frowned at the realization that no shoes besides yours littered the front door. You pulled out your phone to try to call Namjoon, but your number didn’t go through, the robotic voice saying that the number you were trying to reach isn’t in service.

You looked around, but there was no clue or indication of where the boys went. Your train of thought was broken when you heard the sound of the room’s door handle being toyed with. You quickly rushed to the door in hopes that it might be one of the members, but instead you were met with one of the cleaning ladies.

“Oh, I’m sorry madam, I thought no one was in here,” the woman said, bowing her head slightly as she moved her cleaning cart away from the entrance.

“Wait, have you seen seven tall males come out of this room yet?” you asked, walking up to the woman.

She frowned at you and said that no one has checkout yet today. You thanked her for her help and told her that you would be gone from the room in half an hour. She nodded at your response and left the hotel room, closing the door behind her. You quickly ran to your room to pack up. You opened the door the reveal your duffel bag sitting upon a neatly made bed. It was as if no one had ever been in there. You looked inside the duffel bag to see all your belongings sitting inside. You frowned in confusion.

I don’t remember packing

You ignored the thought and quickly rushed out of the hotel. When you made it to the parking lot, you realized that your car wasn’t with you. Since the boys had driven you here last night, you decided to use a taxi to get to head to the dorms.

Where the hell are they? Why would they leave without telling me

You were irritated to say the least, but more worried at the fact that Namjoon didn’t answer his call. He always answers no matter what.

You thanked the taxi driver before stepping out of the vehicle. You stepped onto the concrete sidewalk before looking up at the building. You frowned as you noticed the name of the building was different from what you usually remember.

Am I in the right place? No, this is the place. I know it,

You headed towards the parking garage and approached the lock door. You shuffled through your duffel bag and pulled out the apartment key the boys had given you a long time ago. You tried to fit it into the lock, but it wouldn’t fit.

Did they change the lock recently?

You frowned, but attempted again only to fail. You stood there for a few seconds before deciding to try to call the other members and Namjoon again.

Fifteen minutes and seven robotic messages saying the number you called was out of service later, you found yourself still standing in front of the garage door, a slight panic starting to fill your mind.

Where the hell are they?

You decided to take a taxi home after that and hopefully clear your mind a little so you could figure out where the boys were. You took a shower the minute you got home. As you undressed, you realized something was still in your pocket. You pulled it out to reveal the picture from the beach the other day. The picture only showed the back of each male, but you could easily tell who was who. You smiled at the picture before placing it on your bed and continuing on into the shower.

Once you finished showering, you pulled out your laptop, sitting on your bed as you opened the device.

Hmm, usually they post on social media about where they are. Maybe I can check that to see where they are.

You pulled up google and searched up the BTS twitter, but you frowned in confusion when google provided you only with links to behind the scene videos of various video creators. You tried searching up BTS, but again, nothing but behind the scene recommendation videos appeared.

You pulled up your YoutTube subscription and searched for the BigHit channel, but found nothing. At this point, you felt panic finally starting to settle into your bloodstream. You continually searched on google for them, but nothing appeared. When you searched up their full names, nothing appeared. There were no google results for each member.

You quickly pulled out your phone and dialed one of your co workers, your throat starting to become constricted at the confusion that was making you panic.

“Hey Y/n, was up? You usually don’t call on the weekends,” your coworker said, their static voice being emitted from your phone.

“Uh quick question, you know who BTS is right? Do you happen to know why there are no search results about them on google?” you asked, your mind rushing with thoughts.

“BTS? You mean like ‘Behind the Scenes’?” your coworker said, a hint of confusion in their voice.

“No no, the boy band you know? The really famous ones that have been holding world tours and everything like that?”

“Uhh, I don’t recall any band with the name BTS. Are they new or something?” your coworker asked, still sounding confused.

Each response you were getting back only made you more panicked.

“Uh that’s okay, never mind. Just ignore what I was asking. Thank you,”

“Yeah no problem Y/n, feel free to call again anytime,” your corworker said before hanging up.

You sat in your room in silence as you tried to sort through your thoughts.

They couldn’t have just disappeared like that. It’s impossible. They were here.

You quickly pulled out your phone and headed for your photo gallery.

Photos. I should have photos of them. They were real. I swear.

You opened the gallery only to reveal that there was no trace of them, Nothing.

No no no this can’t be.

Tears began to well up in your eye as you continually scrolled through the photos you had. Not a single photo indicated anything related to BTS. Nothing.

You couldn’t help the sob that soon racked your body. You were confused and so lost. You didn’t have anyone to hold you this time as the tears came down your face. Your dropped your phone on the bed and tried to stop your tears by wiping them with your hands but they just wouldn’t stop.

They were here, I swear. I loved them so much, they wouldn’t just leave like this.

An hour passed and your sobs soon turned to sniffles. Your vision began to clear as the tears slowed, your room beginning to darken as the sun started setting. You looked around you for some tissues but paused when you saw the small Polaroid photo still sitting on the bed. You shakily reached over and brought it closer in your field of vision. There, sitting upon the truck with their back to the camera, was the seven males. You smiled at the memory.

This is all I have of them at the moment....

You couldn’t help as another overwhelming wave of emotions overtook your body again. You cried again until you couldn’t anymore, fatigue finally overtaking you. You fell asleep unknowingly, the Polaroid picture still held in you hand. It was your last evidence that they were real.

----------------------------------------

Half a year passed, Autumn went and Winter had arrived with full force. You had spent the first three months asking friends around about BTS, hoping one of them would understand who you were talking about, but their responses revealed they had no clue who BTS were. You spent every night of the first month without the seven males crying yourself to sleep. You felt like half your heart was gone. It was so difficult to carry on in life without them. But time soon passed, and as the winter breeze arrived in Korea, you slowly began to give up on your search for the seven males you had come to love in the past. You kept that Polaroid photo you took at the beach with you everywhere you went, just as a small reminder that the love you experienced was real. You learned to fall back into the regular flow of work life again, but you always felt like you were missing something important in life.

--------------------------------

It’s now been seven months since BTS had disappeared from your life and the world. It’s been three months since you’ve given up your search.

It was another regular work day for you, and it was one of the coldest days of the month. Winter this year was a lot harsher than the previous years. You had bundled yourself in a red coat, a scarf wrapped around your neck to keep you warm.

You glanced at your clock and realized you were running a little late. You grabbed your wallet and keys from the wardrobe top, about to make a rush for the door when you saw something flutter to the floor. You stopped and picked it up. It was the Polaroid photo. You kept it in your wallet so you always had it with you wherever you went. A small bittersweet smile graced your lips as you gazed down at the picture. Your could still vividly remember the moment you took the photo in your head.

Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok, Min Yoongi, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook

You recited their names as you your eyes flickered to every figure in the picture.

I still haven’t forgotten your names

You stared a little bit longer before placing the photo on the wardrobe top, opening your wallet to slide the photo back in. You paused for a second as you stared at the photo again. You looked down at your wallet before closing it, sliding it into your purse nearby. You walk back to the wardrobe and picked the Polaroid back up. A sigh left you as you leaned the Polaroid against one of the picture frames on the wardrobe instead of putting it back in the wallet.

I’m ready to let go, but I’ll never forget

You quickly grabbed your purse and keys and headed for the door, the cold winter breeze meeting you as you prepared to step out. You looked back at the Polaroid one more time from a distance before heading out. locking the door behind you.

Your feet softly crunched against the snow that thinly coated the ground. The sound of birds chirping and the sound of the city filled the silence. As your feet dragged to your car, you glanced up at the small snowflakes that littered the morning sky. You smiled as one landed on your lips. You paused slightly as you saw a small feather fall from the sky alongside the snowflakes. it was small and white, its beautiful shine creating the illusion of a rainbow. It fell slowly and landed on your open hand. You toyed and twisted the feather in your hand before letting it continue its descent to the ground where it was camouflaged among the snowflakes again.

You got into your car and made your way to work again, a content smile graced on your lips and you started your day.

----------------- FIN ----------------------------

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