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demonic0angel · 2 months

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Chapter 8 of Ghost Games is out!

(Please start subscribing, I'll stop posting chapters on tumblr after this chapter)

Sparrow's eyes widened. "You're the guy that Brittany likes!"

Oleander glared at him viciously. Marina, however, flinched and ducked her head. Sparrow closed his mouth silently, already feeling the judgement through Oleander's dagger-like gaze.

Nightingale and Robin were silent for a moment, obviously contemplating the new information.

Then Robin asked, "Why did you start killing students? What happened?"

Oleander turned to look at Marina, who stared at him with wet eyes. She clutched at his sleeve and he sighed and relented.

He turned to them and began to explain the sequence of events at East High School.

It had all started when a scholarship student had entered the school. The student was Marina, and she had been a target for bullying since Brittany knew about her. No one defended Marina because she had no friends and couldn't speak well, so even teachers didn't like her.

Marina said in a croaky voice, "I-It's because I s-s-stutter."

"It's because I stutter," Oleander repeated gently.

Marina nodded, and said in a softer tone, "It's... it's because I stutter."

Oleander smiled at her gently but when he turned back to them, his eyes seemed like he wanted to eat them alive. Sparrow was low key impressed by his two-facedness.

Oleander continued his tale. He talked about how he met Marina, found her being bullied and then protected her on instinct. To him, it had been love at first sight.

At that, Marina rolled her eyes lightly but a flush still crept over her face, bringing attention to the mangled scar on her cheek. Nightingale cooed audibly and she flushed further, ducking her head. Oleander smiled at the sight and pulled her closer to him, where she nuzzled him.

Even Sparrow, oblivious as he usually was, felt like the two were deeply in love.

Oleander continued and spoke about how the bullying escalated, even when he tried to stop Brittany by getting her in trouble, scolding her, or bringing it to the authorities. However, nothing happened, even when Marina had her face mutilated by Brittany.

"Nothing I could do was enough. I even threatened her and she laughed in my face. I couldn't stay with Marina all the time, and even when I replaced all of the locks in Marina's room, Brittany would still find ways to make her life hell. The teachers and principal defended her whenever I brought it up."

Sparrow frowned again.

"Nothing happened?"

Oleander snarled, "They're all greedy for money. Of course they wouldn't care about a poor student. I'm rich, so I took care of Marina when I could, but my family's money and power wasn't enough to handle Brittany."

It all came to a head when Brittany finally had enough of Marina and turned crazy. She took Marina from her dorm room and she and her cronies tied her up and beat her. Then as a final act of revenge, they hung her in the supply closet.

Oleander's expression was blank as he explained the events. Marina hugged his arm silently, the bruises even more obvious on her skin now that Sparrow knew what had happened. His heart hurt for her and he wished that she wouldn't have had to suffer.

Nightingale clutched him even tighter and Sparrow let her. Robin silently pressed up against Nightingale's other side and Sparrow noticed his clenched fists that were placed on his lap.

"I found her in the supply closet. It was 3 in the morning when I did. I just woke up, I don't know, it was a feeling. When I found her..." Oleander was silent.

Marina, for the first time in a long time, spoke up. "H-He killed himself. For me. Aft-After that, he s-started killing people."

"After that." Oleander said gently.

"After that, he started killing people." Marina repeated clearly. "We... we couldn't speak to each other as ghosts b-but... but because you freed me, I can now speak to him."

She smiled at Oleander shyly.

Oleander kissed her hair and turned to them with a hard look. "You're players, aren't you?"

"You know you're NPCs?" Robin blurted, surprised.

Oleander gave a snort. "All of the ones who can think for themselves do."

Robin's eyes lit up. "What caused you to stay here? Can you tell me anything about the scenarios?"

Oleander glanced at Marina, who was staring at him in confusion. Then he said, "I'm the only one that has a deal with the Lord God. Don't... don't be eager to earn a wish." Then he looked pained and he stood up, moving away from Marina's hold. "I have to go. You completed the scenario, so the bus should be available to you now. Go find it."

With elation, Sparrow realized that they were now free. By helping Marina down, Oleander would reveal himself and then tell them the urban legend. Without finding the corpse here, there would be no way of completing the scenario without any more difficulty.

Coincidences and planning brought them here. The satisfaction of solving this mystery filled Sparrow with satisfaction.

"Ollie!" Marina blurted. "W-W-Where—!" She stuttered, unable to speak in her nervousness as her eyes began to water.

Oleander stroked her hair and said in a sweet tone, "I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll come find you, okay? These people will get you out." He gestured to the three of them and although Sparrow was a little annoyed that a guy who punched him was ordering him around, seeing how he was trying to comfort Marina, Sparrow just sighed and nodded.

"What's going on?" Nightingale asked and Oleander glanced at her.

"When the bus comes, there'll be one last final attack from the scenario. I'm part of it. Take Marina with you and bring her to safety. I'll come get her once I burn down this hellhole." He clenched his fists but then relaxed and smiled at Marina again, who was beginning to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'll come get you though, I promise. Be good. Go with them."

"No! No, no, I'll s-stay with you!" Marina sobbed.

"Be good," he said again and then he turned into a shadow and flew off.

Marina cried with heart wrenching sobs. Nightingale let go of Sparrow to hold her, consoling her gently. "Come on, Marina. Oleander doesn't want you to be sad. You have to listen to him, okay? Don't be sad, he made a promise to you."

"We have to find the bus." Robin paused and then turned to Sparrow, "Sparrow, you go with Nightingale and find the bus. Nightingale, you take care of Marina."

"What about you?" She asked anxiously. Sparrow was also wide eyed, feeling extremely worried that Robin would suddenly sacrifice himself by doing something stupid.

Robin smiled reassuringly at them. "I'm going to go to the library to broadcast an announcement. I'll try to evacuate everyone, you just get to safety."

"But what about you?!" Nightingale cried out. "What'll happen if you get hurt?"

Robin smiled. "I'm Robin. I'll be fine."

Once again, he mentioned 'robin'. Did that mean something?

Sparrow still didn't know, but he sounded so confident that Sparrow couldn't get angry. He held onto Nightingale's arm and nodded once to Robin. "I'll take care of them. Go!"

Robin saluted him and turned to run out the door.

Knowing that she couldn't stop him, Nightingale looked resigned and she called out, "Stay safe! Come back quickly!"

Sparrow pulled on her arm. Marina had finally stopped crying and was silent, just pressed against Nightingale. "C'mon. We have to get Marina out before Oleander does whatever he has to do."

He lead the two girls through the school.

When Oleander said that the scenario would prepare one final attack on them, he wasn't wrong or exaggerating at all.

Ghosts and ghastly looking students came crawling out of the shadows. Teachers and faculty staff weren't far behind, holding weapons and smiling maliciously. Some of them jerked around like zombies while others darted forward like arrows, determined to kill the three. They were especially agitated when they noticed Marina, frothing at the mouth and turning red eyed.

Crowds of ghosts and monsters converged together to grab and maul Marina to death. Sparrow could even see the male hallway monitor approaching, carelessly killing his comrades in an effort to kill the three of them.

Sparrow fought them back and began to clear a path for both Nightingale and Marina.

Suddenly, there was a loud, shrill beeping from the speakers. Sparrow hissed through his teeth, covering his ears. Nightingale grimaced, using her hands to cover Marina's ears.

Then, there was Robin's voice from overhead, "All students, please evacuate. The scenario is finally ending. Please evacuate the building. The scenario is finally ending."

He repeated this several times.

Sparrow breathed a sigh of relief after hearing his voice and then he took Nightingale and Marina's hand to pull them out of the school.

Marina whimpered. "Ollie," she whispered the moment they left through the doors.

"He'll come get you," Nightingale soothed her.

Sparrow looked around and observed their surroundings.

He had intentionally brought them to the back of the school, knowing that schoolbuses usually picked up students at the back.

True to his memory, he saw a line of neatly packed schoolbuses, each dyed a rusty yellow and covered with mold and cobwebs. He continued to lead the girls as they all peeked inside of the windows, trying to identify which bus would take them away.

That was when he heard a distant explosion and then heat flared behind him. He turned and his eyes widened.

The school had lit on fire, flames blazing proudly to the sky, dying the night clouds a deep and ominous red. Shrieks immediately filled the air. Sparrow shuddered hard, barely able to resist panicking as the sounds of ghosts and spirits dying filled his ears.

"Robin!" Nightingale called out in horror but Marina was even louder than her.

"Ollie!!" She screamed, sobbing.

Sparrow began to panic now.

He had to find the bus. If Robin wouldn't come back to them, he still had to protect Nightingale and bring her to safety.

He couldn't fail.

It was his duty.

Sparrow kept searching and just as he was inspecting a random bus, trying to figure out what identified it as their transport of escape, there was a snarl behind them.

Sparrow turned and a player, the very same wolf dude that had tried to pick a fight with him on the first day, smiled at him ruefully.

"Hahahah!! A runt like you actually survived? I'm shocked," the wolf dude laughed mockingly.

"I can say the same for you, dog breath." Sparrow sneered. "Someone like you could actually survive? Did you find a master to help you?"

He was agitated and time was running out. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Nightingale guiding Marina away.

Thank goodness, because the wolf dude's friends began to crowd around him.

The wolf dude sneered. "Not so tough now, are you, runt?"

"Screw off!" Sparrow spat.

One of the wolf's companions eyed the bus that was behind Sparrow's back.

"Is this the bus?"

There were murmurs around.

When Sparrow turned his head to glance at the ordinary looking bus, his breath came out in a puff of white. A lightbulb lit up in Sparrow's mind.

His eyebrows furrowed and then he moved his body into a fighting stance. The motion felt natural and he began to grin as he eyed the wolves challengingly. "Yeah, what about it? I found it, so it's mine. I'm gonna be leaving."

"Not on your life," another wolf snarled.

Sparrow narrowed his eyes and then he straightened and shrugged his shoulders. "Fine then. Go ahead."

They all paused. Then the wolf dude said, "You must be tricking us."

"A trick? No!" Sparrow banged on the bus' door and it opened smoothly. "Go ahead."

The wolf growled. "You lie. We won't fall for your tricks!"

Sparrow confidently turned and just as he was about to go inside, he was wretched back by the back of his tracksuit and then thrown onto the ground. The air in his lungs was forced out from the force of his fall and Sparrow groaned in pain, curling onto the grass.

"Stupid brat!" The wolf snarled. "I won't let you get a card!" Then he went inside, his companions following them with mocking jeers.

Sparrow gave a cold snort, just as the doors closed and screams erupted from within. Scratches and paw prints immediately slammed into the glass windows and Sparrow looked away as the blood began to splatter. The pained howls didn't cease for a long time.

Although he had tricked them into dying, he didn't really want to actually see it. Nightingale and Marina peeked out from behind the bus and Nightingale frowned at him.

"Are you alright?" She asked. "You shouldn't have tried to provoke them."

"It's fine," Sparrow said, getting up and dusting the grass stains off of his clothes. "They're gone."

She looked mournfully at the bus. "I know," she said softly. She turned back and said, "Do we know which one is the real bus though?"

"I'm starting to suspect that this spot was a distraction to keep us away from the actual bus," Sparrow grumbled.

Nightingale looked at the burning school and said, "We have to hurry. I'm pretty sure the principal is dead now, and so are the other students. I noticed that the ghosts and monsters couldn't really leave."

"They're all ghosts," Sparrow said absentmindedly to himself.

What did it mean that all of them were already dead?

Marina tugged at Nightingale's sleeve and when she turned, Sparrow paid attention.

"There's another p-place for you to find buses. There-There's a p-parking lot within the forest." Marina said softly. “I-I’ll lead you there.”

"A parking lot in a forest? Who built this place??" Sparrow tried to lighten the mood. A shudder ran through his core.

Nightingale eyed Sparrow with exasperated amusement but smiled at Marina. "Thank you. Oleander will definitely come back."

Marina didn't reply, just nodding. Sparrow didn't say anything and the two of them followed Marina this time as she lead them to the bus. The further they got away from the school, the colder and darker their surroundings became. The forest they entered was quiet and Sparrow couldn't help but turn around every once in a while, just staring at the burning building.

Oleander was definitely the one who did that.

To get revenge for Marina, he had willingly killed himself and turned into a vengeful spirit.

Now the source of his sorrows were gone, burnt with the flames of justice.

It was almost poetic.

When they arrived, two people were already there. Robin and Oleander were chatting, but the word 'chatting' was kind of stretching it, because Robin was asking questions while Oleander was silent most of the time. Occasionally, he would nod and look back at him, but for the most part, he was stoically silent and still.

The moment Marina saw Oleander, she perked up like a wilted flower who finally saw rain.

"Ollie!!" She cried and immediately ran towards him.

Oleander, just like her, opened up like a sunflower who saw daylight.

"Marina!" He called and they ran towards each other in a touching display of love, as they clutched at each other and then hugged desperately. Oleander even picked her up and swung her in a circle as she squealed happily.

Sparrow glanced at Robin and Nightingale, wondering if he was about to become the awkward fifth wheel.

Thankfully, Robin and Nightingale did not decide to imitate the sickeningly sweet couple next to them. Instead, Nightingale approached Robin and put her hands on his shoulders, turning him this way and that. Robin let her inspect him like merchandise, and he was remarkably untouched and unharmed.

Nightingale breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you're okay."

Robin smiled. "Told you I'd be fine."

She glared at him. "Shut up."

Then they gave each other a long hug before letting go. When they spotted Sparrow, they took a few steps away from each other like guilty people.

Sparrow wanted them to feel very, very guilty.

Sulkily, he said, "Now you notice me?"

"Sorry, Sparrow," Robin smiled. He reached over to pat his hair. "You're alright, right?"

"We're fine," Sparrow let go of his annoyance. "I protected us."

"Good job!" Robin praised and Sparrow felt warm, letting a smile cross his face. He finally relaxed and leaned into the touch. Nightingale also moved and then another pair of hands joined into petting him.

He felt like a dog but it was nice and he was tired and their hands felt comforting so he just let it be.

Finally, they pulled away and moved to the bus.

Like the other buses, this one was still rusty yellow and looked aged and worn out. However, when approaching it, Sparrow noticed that the wheels were fresh with mud and the inside of the bus had faintly glowing green seats.

The door opened naturally when they came near. Robin was about to enter first when he paused and turned.

"Are you two coming with us?"

Oleander held Marina's hand and shook his head. "No. I'm staying with her."

Nightingale frowned. "Are you sure? You could come with us."

Oleander shook his head firmly. "No. I appreciate your help in helping Marina. But I cannot leave."

"What are you going to do now?" Robin asked.

"See what this world holds." Oleander looked down at Marina, and the two of them looked at each other and smiled.

Sparrow smiled. "Goodbye, you two. Safe travels!"

Marina beamed, hugging Oleander's arm. She waved, looking more excitable than ever. Even the bruises on her face began to disappear as she smiled widely. "Y-You too!" She called, and Oleander also waved goodbye with her.

Robin entered the bus first while Nightingale continued her goodbyes. Sparrow followed after him. The moment he stepped onto the stairs, a notification from the system took his attention.

[Congratulations for being the second person to find the bus and escape the scenario!

+150 points for completing the objective: Survive for a week within the school while uncovering the urban legend.

+50 points for being the second person to escape the scenario.

+20 points for finding clues and discovering the true ending of the scenario.

+10 points for surviving the scenario.]

He paused and Robin noticed. "You saw the point thing too?"

"Yeah. I got 230. You?"

"280."

Sparrow suddenly felt exhausted and he found his original seat. Sparrow sat in front of Robin and he laid back into his seat, closing his eyes.

All was quiet until Nightingale came back and said softly, "They disappeared. I think they're fine, they look happy. Also, other bus passengers have found us."

Sparrow's eyes snapped open and he stood up to look through the window, where he could spot several people coming out of the forest. Robin stared at the scene of greedily swarming people in silence before he said, "Before they come in, I have to tell you, I got a card."

Nightingale perked up. "What is it?"

"I think it's from my old life, because it feels familiar to me. The system says it's a utility belt and it has a limited amount of things. It gave me a choice between a limited number of tools I could use in each scenario or a large number of tools I could use before it's complete run out."

"You chose the first option?" Nightingale asked and Robin nodded to confirm just before the the doors opened again and a player came inside. He looked inside but when he saw the three of them, he snarled.

"Fuck!" He cursed and glared at them, but didn't say anything, only moving to another seat.

Nightingale moved to sit by Robin's side and then the two of them leaned closer to Sparrow's seat and began to whisper.

"I got 255 points." Nightingale told them perfunctorily. "What did you talk about with Oleander?"

Sparrow frowned, feeling like the number wasn’t quite right, but he was too exhausted to think deeper into it.

"He's not like the other NPCs. He said that NPCs can't think for themselves, but the ones that do are aware of the players' identities and can talk with this "Lord God". I don't know who they are, but from what I've gathered, they seem to be in control of the scenarios. They aren't actively looking for our deaths, but they're the reason why we're here and we shouldn't trust the promise of a wish because of them."

Nightingale sighed softly. "It feels terrible not knowing your identity or purpose but knowing that everywhere around you isn't safe."

There was the sound of a throat being cleared and all three of them looked up. The vampire dude from before looked down at them. He glanced at Robin and said, "Thank you for your warning. My companions and I were able to leave on time before the fire started because of it."

Robin nodded. "It was what should've been done."

The vampire bowed his head and then he said, "Have you three created a party yet?"

They shook their heads and Nightingale leaned over Robin to eagerly ask, "Can you teach us?"

He did so, and they all quickly made a party with one another. The vampire also explained some of the buttons that they could use. The party system allowed them to stay together when they got off the terminal because people were transported to different parts of the station to avoid fights from grudges grown within the scenarios. The party system also let them text each other, but only out of the scenario. Over all, it was just a simple thing to keep them together and in touch.

When Nightingale thanked him profusely, the vampire just humbly replied, "It is my honor."

He was clearly very grateful for Robin's warning.

Sparrow was too tired for anything else and he told both Nightingale and Robin to wake him up when they landed at the station.

However, that proved unnecessary because all three of them fell asleep.

Sparrow snapped awake with a jolt when a mechanical voice spoke from overhead, [Welcome to the Day Station. Please exit the bus.]

The doors opened. Sparrow caught a glimpse of outside, which showed a slightly debilitated airport. Then Robin held him back with a hand before he could move forward.

"Wait." He urged quietly, a glare on his face.

But before they could do anything, they were all directly tossed out of the bus and onto the floor. Robin had quickly grabbed him and Nightingale and protected their heads when they fell but Sparrow was still disoriented.

That was when the system spoke.

[Welcome to the Day Bus Station! Here, you can rest for a maximum of five days. In those five days, you can choose to do whatever you want as long as you are not found killing other players. You may choose a bus anytime and travel to as many scenarios as you want. Have fun!]

Multiple eyes landed on the three of them. Although the setting was that of an old and worn out airport, there were crowds of monsters and strange beings of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. They all surrounded the newcomers with intense gazes.

Robin cursed.

Sparrow wanted desperately to do the same.

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The first arc is finished! Did you guys enjoy it?? Please give me your thoughts!

I kind of want to edit this arc bc I’m not very happy with the characterization of Danny, Jazz, and Jason. However, I’ll probably do that in the future :3 arc 2 is still in progress!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #jazz fenton #danny phantom x dc #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #jason todd #ghost game au

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mossy-bonez · 5 months

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I want to talk about this au. So let’s begin with the TMA characters that will be around.

Jonathan “Jon” Sims: look it’s the silly eye man our poor little meow meow. Anywho this wet cat of a man just became the pupil of the eye so his powers and connection to the eye are much greater now, I mean so long as he feeds himself properly and he’ll definitely do that, won’t he? No no he won’t, at least not at the beginning, what were you expecting Jon Sims to properly take care of himself? When has he ever done that without being forced too? Any way he still looks mostly human, I mean he has more eyes then most but he tends to keep those closed or hidden, and his eyes are such a bright green that they almost look like they are glowing(they actually are), and if you look at his skin too closely you might notice black lines that almost look like a web of shattered china, but that’s fine. Also small green eye symbol float around him, most can’t see them all the time but they may catch glimpses of them out of the corner of their eyes. Tape recorders still follow him about they feel different now though, less like they’re from someone else and more like they’re from him.he is very much the ceaseless watchers special little boy, and it fucking shows, so much favoritism.

Martin Kartin Blackwood: he is an avatar of the lonely, like he is fully an avatar now. It’s fine everything is fine, he’s just choosing not to think about it for now, that will make it go away. Any way he’s pretty much how he was at the end of season 5 bit less stressed given that he’s not currently going through the apocalypse, but he’s definitely not forcing himself to act small anymore, he is actively choosing to take up space and stop putting up pretenses. He’s here an a new universe with his boyfriend and come he’ll or high water he is going to make the most of it.

Helen: she is alive because I miss her, also I think distortion door shenaniganery would be fun. Any way he just didn’t kill Helen this time that’s all, and given how little of the distortion is human, or really ever was, she got whisked away to somewhere else as well

Monster Pig: he is my baby and he is here if I say he is, I would kill for him so he is alive and well and freed from his concrete tomb. Anyway depending on if I make this au pre or post weirdmageddon his situation is a bit different, either he replaces waddles and is babyfied, or Mable finds him in the woods and befriends him and now he is waddles’ brother. Either way new pig friend for Mable, and my boy is thriving and being lavished with love(and maybe he occasionally just eats whatever problem they are dealing with, because he is a good pig 🐖)

Simon Fairchild: I know that in canon he is left behind but you can’t tell me that this 600 year old sky grandpa was human enough to be left behind, also as a vast aligned person I can’t leave my evil grandpa behind. He is here and he is having a blast just vibing and slowly adopting any vast avatars that show up to rebuild his family.

If y’all have any other characters I can add and good reasons for them to be able to show up, I will maybe add them

Next up will be some stuff about the gravity falls side of things and a definitive decision on weather or not this is set pre or post weirdmageddon

#tma #the magnus archives #tma podcast #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #helen distortion #monster pig #god i love this god damned monster pig #he is my little guy #simon fairchild #tma falls #tma au #gravity falls au #the tma characters that will be present #at least at the beginning #more may be added through shenaniganery

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gatalentan · 1 year

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I'm 32 years old now, sitting on a bench.

Inside me is a 20 year old sitting on a windowsill.

I developed myalgic encephalomyelitis (m.e. or "chronic fatigue syndrome") when I was around 14. It's post-viral, like long-covid, and has much of the same symptoms (though overwhelming fatigue from small actions and muscular pain, predominantly), in varying degrees from person to person. I don't know exactly when it happened. I had a lot of infections as a kid, it could have been any one of them.

What I do know is that it snowballed in a slow way that felt like my body was being dismantled bit by bit. Over time, I lost the ability to walk. And then stand. And then sit, until eventually I became almost completely bedbound, but certainly housebound, roombound. I was in pain all the time. I had a migraine all the time. I was sick all the time.

In the gaps between, on the good days, where the symptoms were manageable, I could go to school, go to class, see friends, make bad choices, get bullied, finish my exams, normal teenage things, good and bad. But the good days became scanter and scanter, until by the tail end of my teens all I knew was my four walls and my bed.

I cannot express to you how being trapped in one room makes you into a fundamentally weird person. And I don't just mean psychologically, because, obviously, duh. But people talk about depression making you numb, and it does, but I was very literally numbed.

It was the sensory deprivation. The only time I left the house, my room, for about 4 years was for hospital appointments. I went weeks or months without feeling so much as a breeze, or even a draught from a door opening. No sun, no cold bite, no rain. Just the same dead air, absolutely stagnant, day in and day out, for years. It was like if you put a blindfold over my senses. The only real sensory input I had was the physical pain of my disability, whatever food I was given (shelf stable, room temperature, packaged), and whatever I listened to on my headphones. For years.

And I mean only too, because what the illness also did was fuck up my sleep. On a bad day, I'd sleep over 24 hours. My record was 32. And when I was awake, it was for maybe 5 hours at a push. When you sleep that much, statistically, I woke up to the rest of the house already asleep, the world outside asleep, for those five small hours, more often than not.

So for months, years, I was alone in a dark, silent room with dead air, lit by the only lamp I could reach from my bed, eating food left on a tray on the floor for me by my parents, in excruciating pain. I would sometimes go weeks without our clocks aligning. Just my own head, looping the same thoughts, because nothing happened, so nothing was new. Talking to no-one, seeing no-one, touching no-one, but knowing life was going on around me.

My school friends were growing up, going to college, university, getting married, having children. I'd see their posts on Facebook, like I was looking through a window. I deleted my Facebook.

I was in suspended animation.

I got sent to inpatient physio in my early 20s, for three months, five hours from home. I got specialised treatments. I learned to walk again. I could do things again. I could see people again. I could go outside again. I could live a mostly normal life. I got therapy. It helped.

But I was still in suspended animation.

I'm still in suspended animation.

I'm walking around, and living my life, but I'm still in that room.

I know that whenever I go walk the dog and it's cold or it's windy or it starts raining and I just start crying, and crying because I can feel.

For a lot of years, after being freed, I pressed everything down, refused to live, because everything was too new, too much. I developed depression that was worse than when I was locked up, because I was grieving what I'd lost. I'll always be grieving what I lost. But I have to live now, because she couldn't.

When I say I'm happy to be alive it sounds like a platitude. But I'm not talking about getting to experience life and opportunities, I mean on a very physical, fundamental, biological level, I am happy to be alive.

I get to stand by the water and watch the sea come in - I can hear it, smell it, taste it, see it, feel it. Being fully aware of your own sensory experiences and the absolute miracle they are is what I've been left with. It's hard for me to do things without full commitment, anymore, because everything is so much and I want to feel all of it. I take so many photos, all the time. If I go for a walk somewhere nice, it's like I almost can't take it all in at once. Like I'm Bruce Bogtrotter trying to eat that chocolate cake in Matilda. I want to experience it and hold onto it and remember it and take all of it in and lick the plate clean, too.

It's all the time, even in the small, everyday things. I don't look for it, it's just there. The rattle of a poorly maintained bus engine under my seat. The smell of bakery section at the supermarket. Hot toast with half melted butter sticking to my lips. The jingle of ice cubes on glass. Birds calling to each other. Other peoples' cigarette smoke on my clothes. The dog smacking his tail against my leg under the table. Making a joke and getting a laugh.

You're always being touched, but until it was taken from me, I had no quantifiable concept of how much, how often, and how much I was missing. I just knew that it was missing.

I wasn't alive, I wasn't living, but now I am.

I'm a 20 year old who painfully climbed up on the windowsill in the middle of the night to feel the breeze on her face for the first time in months, who is crying, and crying.

I'm a 32 year old sitting on a bench under a tree in the rain and giving it to her.

#this isnt a vent post or anything at all. i'm very much ok.#this is just a thought. and i'm acknowledging it and letting it pass.#just a very long very wordy thought lol #i'll probably delete this but for now it's written and it's in the ether

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sykee · 9 days

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Sykee's Thoughts - To My Youth by BOL4

An activity I enjoy as a form of emotional catharsis is listening to a single song over and over, writing down its lyrics and then reinterpreting it into an experience. This is the first one I'm posting on here. It's by a K-Pop group called BOL4 and it's called "To My Youth."

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Youth - the spring of one's life. It's a phrase the elders throw around so casually when they have forgotten about all the struggles of being young. But I have never related more to the phrase "at a distance, spring is green" than anything else. So here's one to my youth which was never green.

It was a period of gloom, darkness and loneliness. A time I wished I would just not be alive; I wished I could disappear so that I did not have to live through all that pain. As I silently cried myself to sleep every night, I drifted more and more away from those around me - their eyes frightened me, made me think I would accidently crack and my facade would give way to the broken pieces.

So, during those "beautiful" days, I was in pain, in misery, in despair - just calling out to someone, anyone to pull me out. But I would not crack; I would not show because I was afraid of receiving love. It was something I hadn't possessed yet so what if I experienced it only to lose it? Life was a paradox. I despised myself for not being able to be loved yet I cried my heart out for love. My parents would never see me; they only ever looked at me and slowly, I was drifiting away, unknown to the common man's eyes.

Well, it seemed that time was medicine. Slowly, I started getting better and I started feeling more on the positive side of the spectrum - less tears, more smiles. Nevertheless, melancholy is a monster that buries its fangs deep within you. The fear that it would creep back into me, made me turn my back to goodness - it pulled me back into the darkness within which I continued to struggle.

All of those "beautiful" memories are filled with nothing but morose and pain. I hurt as much as my heart could hurt and yet, it seemed to never be enough. The monster kept crawling deeper into me until it found my weakest point. It battered away at my most denfenseless spot to its heart's content. Never caring for the way its motions afflicted the carrier, the monster would eat out of me all day, everyday, until only a mushy glob of what I was, was all that was left. Still, all my friends, the people around me would only look at me - no one ever saw me and I kept drifting even farther away - the tether getting disconnected.

BUT, I see a possibility - a latern in the dark. Maybe, just maybe, I go through all this pain and suffering and one day, some day, to any one person out there, I might just become a small light. Maybe, in proportion to all this pain, i might become a bright star. Maybe in proportion to all this pain, I become a black hole. But what if? What if I become the tiny spark in someone's darkened tunnel? WHAT IF I become the slayer of the monsters? I catch hold of the tether and desperately try to pull myself back. I have discovered chance; I have discovered hope.

To my self that never went to sleep with a dry pillow: Maybe, if I hold on tight to this lifeline, I might finally reach safety. Maybe, at the end of the line, I might even find myself - smiling, proud of me for not giving up.

To teen me, to my youth: Oh, how painful it must have been. Oh, how much you wished and desired. Oh, how lonely you were.

From older me, from my 20s: You made it out. You have tamed the monster - depression has freed you from its claws. Now, you are a monster slayer - you provide a listening ear for those at their darkest - the youth.

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Hello! I love your talks about Arcane. Your words and thoughts always make me realize so much more about the story. Would it be ok if you talked about the scene where Silco talks to Vi outside where she used to grow up, What do you think he meant when says that ‘jinx is so much more than he ever imagined and that he ‘freed her candidly’ the tone seemed more soft and his word choice seemed very calculated. Why do you think he thought it was necessary to say those words to Vi right then? (His tone was hard for me to read there)

Then Silco has his whole rage fit after the sign falls and Vi and Caitlyn escape. I know he was furious but I’m not sure if there are any other emotions layered that I’m not picking up in that scene. I wanted to know your general thoughts on it if you have any.

-♠️

OOOOOOOOO i LOVE me some Silco analysis!! Lets Go! <3

Also thank you for the kind words!! holy cow >.< im not worthy!! This is gunna be a long one so im posting a read below to just... save peoples scrolling XD

Silco is such a *wonderfully* complex character and he has so much behind everything he does; or at least this is how i feel. I briefly touched on this topic in a different post about how i feel Silco did not plan on killing Vi (i think it was that post.. maybe it was a Silco/Jinx father/daughter analysis.. i cant recall now >.< ) So, man, ok.. where to start... So in that scene.. hmm no ok wait. Lets back it up ok, Silco/Jinx leading up to that scene is really important to set the narrative for explanation so forgive me for reiterating events here but: - Jinx "defended" the shimmer shipment - Silco argued in Jinxs defense against Sevika - He talked with Jinx and advised she distract herself with her gadgetry - Jinx decided to bomb a bunch of enforcers and get the gem - Silco learns of the attack; we dont see who from but we know its NOT Marcus because he comes to confront Silco separately later - Silco dad-style yells at Jinx but forgives cuz gem - Silco argues with Marcus, again in Jinxs defense - Jinx medicates Silco and he tells her to focus on weaponizing the gem - Jinx has her freak out from the magic acting up - Jinx goes to the arcade (ironically while Vi and Cait are eating at Jerichos) - Silco gives one of Jinx's bombs to Marcus to use as evidence against the Firelights - Jinx expresses to Silco she cant handle the magic trauma - Silco takes Jinx out to the water and has a heart to heart - Jinx successfully works on the gem - Silco learns Vi is alive - Silco sends out an order to all of his staff to "grab" the two girls that kicked Sevika's ass - Bartender Thieram/Chuck tells Jinx about the order - Jinx is suspicious that she wasnt included or made aware of the order - Jinx confronts Sevika in Silcos office - Silco confronts Marcus in Marcus' home - And then finally Silco gets word from the shimmer addicts of Vi's location and goes there himself *whew* that was a lot.. but its important. Notice how in all of this, every time Silco has an interaction *about* Jinx he is totally on her side? Their relationship is super solid at this point and it seems like, at least to SOME extent, Silco is aware of the state of Jinx's mind. Given how open these two are with each other and how they relax and show their true vulnerable selves to each other, i would guess Jinx has had fits around Silco as results of botched missions or other trauma triggers. We also see how casually Jinx talks to her apparitions both when alone and with others which makes me feel like she does this around Silco a lot too without receiving any judgement etc.

So i want to point out something very specific here. While Silco did do basically an all-hands-on-deck type of order among his goons to look for Vi and Cait, he went HIMSELF to the location as soon as he learned exactly where she was. He did not look for Sevika to go with him either. He wanted to be the one to handle this himself. This tells me that, while he is willing to use all resources available to him for this task, it is a personal task and not a business one. This also helps clearly define exactly how he perceives Jinx. She is not "just business" or "just a lieutenant". This is why we see his tone and mannerisms change so drastically between how he talks to Singed and Sevika vs how he talks to/about Jinx.

I think that, for Silco, this was a VERY personal matter. All he had likely heard from Sevika was that Vi was looking for Jinx. Silco went all hands on deck because of the threat of someone taking his daughter away.

So, Silco is used to using intimidation and power to get his way. When he confronts Vi, note that he is unarmed BUT he is definitely utilizing that same body language to express his power and influence to build an intimidating presence. He has two goons with him who are armed but not in any stance to fight. Weapons are slung on their shoulders etc.

I feel that Silco had one objective here. Get Vi to give up on Jinx. His tactic for this was two parts. First to make Vi feel too weak to take on the fight and second to make her think that Jinx wouldnt be interested in leaving regardless. I also believe he did not want to kill Vi. This is important. He knows what Vi means to Jinx. He would not risk word of him killing her get around to Jinx.

Thus his speech. "Vanders prodigy, i regretted that we never had the opportunity to speak" He is trying to impose his intelligence over her and seem un-phased by her return. I think he is being honest here and had actually originally planned to try and turn her to his side. He knew from Sevika that Vi was wanting to fight Piltover when the topic was brought up in the Last Drop. He also heard stories from his younger underlings that he had keep eyes on Vanders kids that she was a good fighter. He then seems genuinely offended by the question "what have you done with my sister?" Remember that Silco does not see himself as a destructive or bad person. Most of the people in the undercity support him and he himself sees the bad parts of what he does as "the base violence necessary for change".

So when Silco responds with "I've freed her. Candidly, I thought you were the prize of your secondhand family." We see an interesting and subtle shift in his expression to Vi. When talking about Jinx, there is some life and passion in his expression and tone. Then he looks around for a moment and when he stares back at Vi his expression is icy and devoid of any emotion aside from.. boredom maybe; his tone changes to match. I think Silco means what he said about freeing Jinx. He has helped free her from a lot of her insecurities, he does not restrict her movements or actions or try to snuff out her violent interests, and he protects her from consequences from the law. In his mind, he has freed her of anything that could be holding her back from reaching her true potential. But the second part, while i *do* think he had intended to flip Vi before the warehouse fight, i think he actually means this as the setup for an insult. He searched for those words for a moment. They were calculated. He wanted to hurt Vi with what he says next.

"but... Jinx... Ah~ she is more than i ever imagined." While Silco says these words he is, once again, more expressive. Even leaning his head back and taking his eyes off Vi to visualize his daughter, and his words are so soft.

Silco knows that Vi is a sensitive topic for Jinx even years after the event. A huuuge part of me feels like this is sorta... parental vindication. I thought you were great, but then i saw your sister. I believe Silco wants to hurt Vi with his insult as a small penance for what Jinx has endured emotionally. Silco values power and would assume most others do as well. So telling Vi she is weaker than the girl she abandoned would be a fabulous insult in his world. Because, to be clear, Silco *does* think that Vi abandoned Jinx. He only had Jinx's word to go off of with this and there would have been ZERO info about Vi looking for Jinx after the bomb since Marcus had captured her. Silco truly believes Vi abandoned a crying Powder to be killed by, well, himself.

So i think he is trying to shove it in Vi's face that she discarded someone with so much potential. 'You left her and made the wrong choice.' and twist that knife in til it hurts.

I like how Vi responds to this with "im gunna find her and erase whatever fucked up delusions you put in her head"

So Vi heard those few sentences and clung onto "i freed her" and "she is more than i imagined" and interpreted those as Silco maybe drugging her with Shimmer, manipulated her, or whatever else to make Jinx into this version of herself. Then Vi say she is FIRST going to target Silcos criminal empire and Silco replies with that same bored tone suggesting he feels completely in control and once again exuding power to intimidate Vi. "You dont know your limits, girl. Its what got Vander killed. What drove your sister away. And its why im here right now." again, doubling down on the whole effort to make her feel like this is an imposible task and her sister wouldnt want to return to her anyway. So then stuff happens and the rage fit and i do think there is a lot mixed in here. He is, of course, mad that he got bested by a child but more than that its Vanders Prodigy. So for Silco this has getting defeated by the ghosts of his past written all over it. Plus, he didnt successfully manipulate Vi to giving up on Jinx so there is also still the risk to his daughter leaving him. His effort to intimidate wasnt working. And finally he lost her. He doesnt seem like a man who takes loosing very well. And with her maybe 30 feet away, he lost her. One of the people he raises up and hits on the head during this fit is one of his body guards. Likely annoyed that they didnt have the foresight to see that risk or that they didnt pursue Vi during the chaos. He also stomps violently on the shimmer addict informant that told them of Vi's location. We never see Silco get this emotional. Never. I think he is honestly panicing that right at the final stages of seeing his fight for the Nation of Zaun, everything is falling apart. Vi is back, Jinx is struggling with the weapon, Marcus is turning on him, etc. But the way he responds to all the other bad news is exasperation... the way he responds to the threat to his daughter from his former betrayers prodigy is visceral rage.. i think it definitely sets the tone for how important this matter is to him. I also really like the symbolism of him standing in the center wreckage of the Eye of Zaun. Like his empire is shattering around him. Idk, i feel like it really reflects where he is at right there.

So anyhow, to put it simply, i think this was a personal issue to him, not a business issue. He definitely is a mad dad looking down the person who abandoned his daughter and caused so much shit in her head for him to deal with. And the possibility of Jinx leaving him for his betrayer's prodigy is something he is *very* worried about.

oof im really good at long.... o.o sorry >.<

#silco #vi #arcane #just analyzing some scenes #dont mind me officer #jinx

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blushing-titan · 3 years

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My thoughts on ch. 139

Some of you may be familiar with my previous writings - I usually try to stay as collected as possible, but today's post will be different. Ever since the chapter came out, I've been reblogging a lot of rants and memes about it. Those of you who follow my blog (thank you so much, really happy to have you here! ❤) know that I didn't really enjoy this ending. I want to elaborate more on that in this post - my only advice is to buckle up, because today we may get a bit heated (I apologize in advance for the sassy approach - I usually try to stray away from that, but guess today's post is more of a stream of conciousness/rant) :'D

1. Ymir

Starting up with one of the most controversial things about this chapter. Up to this point, I felt really bad for Ymir. Her life was terrible - she was a young girl, who was enslaved and abused by king Shitz Fritz. After she was forced to run away from his hounds, she acquired the power of titans and used it to help the king's cause. For that, she was awarded with the king's seed (🤢), and eventually became a mother of three girls. Through her entire life, she was treated as a slave and a lesser-being by the king - she also died while protecting him, and her daughters were forced to eat her remains after that (🤢🤢).

It felt so tragic to see her 2000 years later, still walking blindly in the paths. It wasn't enough that she was hurt so badly when she was still alive - she remained enslaved to the abusive king even after she died. I was rooting for her to finally be freed from this nightmare - hence I was so happy when ch. 122 came out and we got this scene:

I was genuinely emotional when I saw her reaction. Finally, someone expressed some authentic care for her and tried to snap her out of this blind state. She would finally think about what she wants and try to free herself from the paths because, as Eren said, she was never a slave or a goddess - just a regular person. It's just like she finally let out all the pain that she's been suppressing for all these years.

Yeah...except, as it turns out, her awakening here changes nothing. She doesn't come to any conclusions, like, perhaps, that she doesn’t want to let herself be hurt and mistreated any longer...or that she should fight for herself, try to change her fate - because, after all, her life belongs to her - not anyone else.

Nothing like this happens. Why? Because, as it turns out, she's in love with king Fritz and needs to be proven by Mikasa that she can break this bond first.

....

💀💀💀💀

Excuse me, but...what?

Okay, first and foremost...am I supposed to believe that, during these 2000 years, no one else has gone against their unhealthy affection to someone toxic and unworthy of their love? No one? 🤡 Come on, we even saw that happen in the manga. What about Historia, who thought that her own mother hitting her was a sign of love? Who wanted to believe that her father was good, despite wanting to turn her into a titan? Where was Ymir when Historia stood up for herself against her father's wishes? Or when she flew up to him and delivered the final blow against him?

On top of that...what a disappointing conclusion to Ymir's story. I hoped that she would take her fate into her own hands, and - for example - be reborn and experience life as a free person, surrounded by people who actually care about her. Free herself from paths and destroy it - not because someone shows her that she can indeed detach herself from it, but simply because she wants to.

Instead, 80% of the world population is gone, because she needed to see that Mikasa is able to "free" herself from Eren in order to do the same.

🤡🤡🤡

2. Abandoned plotlines and plot-holes

Mikasa being a Hizuru princess? Never heard of that. Hallucigenia's fate? Who cares. Eren directing Dina's titan in Carla's direction in order to save Berthold? Nah, who would want any more info on that - guess he just couldn't direct her anywhere else. The Ackerman's headaches? Pfff. The fact that Mikasa shouldn't be affected by the memory altering, but somehow still is in the ending? "I guess she just forgot that she should be immune to this". Why was Historia's pregnancy implied as relevant if it wasn't in the end? So many precious panels wasted on that, when they could be used to help solve some other "unanswered questions" instead. Ehhh...🤷

3. Blatant character assassination

There, I'm saying it once again. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but the characters are off. What about Eren - the one who has always believed that freedom was his birthright, and has been fighting and moving forward for his goals? Yeah, turns out he has no idea why he was doing all of that.

Remember Kenny's quote - everyone is a slave to something? I thought that this implication was pretty poetic in context of Eren's character. Through all his life, he sought freedom, but ironically, he was a slave to that dream...

...turns out it may have been a bit too poetic for this story because Eren is a slave to destiny. Literally - he's going on auto-pilot in order to reach that one moment in which Mikasa beheads him, so Ymir can watch and understand that she can do the same.

Nice joke...except not. Here go our main character's motivations 🗑

He casually commits unjustifiable crimes against humanity - not because he wants to be free or because he found the world beyond the walls disappointing, (...as we were led to believe). He did that because he doesn't know why - and then, he cries that he doesn't want Mikasa to ever find another guy.

:'))

Turns out Eren was somehow always in love with her too...? Yeah, weird way of showing it. Or should I say - not showing it at all.

If you read my previous writings, you know that I'm not very fond of Eremika. The way I interpreted it while reading the story: it was unhealthy, suffocating and one-sided. I hoped for Mikasa to move on and start thinking about herself for once.

Right, what about Mikasa? Has she finally moved on? Is she content with her life? Are her dreams coming true? What's her daily life after all this? Sadly, I don't have the answers. The thing we are shown instead, is how she's sitting next to Eren's grave and, once again, thanking him for wraping the scarf around her. The only thing that implies that she may be somehow still seeing other people is one bubble of text. After all 139 chapters of hoping for her character developement, that's it.

Keep in mind that all other characters are shown together - with their spouses, families and friends - yet Mikasa is still separated and alone. That's right - after she disappears with Eren's head, she's not shown with anyone else until the end of the manga.

While we're on the topic of others, too...do I have to talk about the scenes in which everyone shows some level of gratitude to Eren...for wiping 80% humanity for them? Because I have no words for this.

One last note: I found the humor to be slightly out of place, too. Seriously, after all these terrible events, with so many unanswered questions and character developement of these two...Reiner is still weirdly simping for (now married) Historia and Jean is called a horse face :') Idk, but it feels somehow surreal after everything that's happened.

4. Conclusion

What else can I say...the final chapter disappointed me and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm happy for the people who liked it, but also can't help but feel like it was very far from perfect. I've been following SnK ever since 2013 and it's a bittersweet moment for me. The series had a lot of amazing moments that I'll definitely remember forever. Meanwhile, I would like to read some of the author's thoughts about the way he chose to end the story - perhaps it would clear some confusion (...although I can't help the fact that my first opinion is already formed).

Thank you very much for reading my thoughts - as always, it means a lot to me! ❤ The images used in this post are obviously not mine!

#snk 139 #aot 139 #snk spoilers #snk manga spoilers #snk ending #anti eremika #eren jeager #mikasa ackerman #ymir fritz #historia reiss #snk meta

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mrslittletall · 3 years

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saw your whump post, honestly the "I'm fine" screams Hornet to me, so it'd be cool to see that! - dooblebugs

Title: The Idol Fandom: Hollow Knight Characters: Hornet & Little Ghost Word Count: 2.825 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30941981

Summary: After the Hollow Knight is freed from the temple, Hornet does her best to take care of the ones that are still left in Hallownest. Everything should be fine... until it isn't.

(Author's note: @dooblebugs

I thought about using canon verse with “Almost everyone lives AU” or your Mer AU. But ultimately, canon verse won, because I still miss some context for the Mer AU. I hope you enjoy.)

Hornet opened her eyes and jumped on her feet right away. Her day would always start with hunting and gathering food, preferably before Hollow woke up and tried to move, and it was a whole other problem trying to haul a bug their size back into bed, especially when they rigorously ignored their wounds.

While Hornet trusted Quirrel and Cloth enough to leave Hollow in their care for a while, she always felt better if she could look over them personally. However, the longer she hesitated with leaving, the longer she would need to come back, so Hornet left the house in Dirtmouth they had inhabited for Hollow's recovery and went towards the crossroads.

The little pitter-patter of tiny feet next to her prompted Hornet to look down. Ghost had decided to accompany her again. They always would. She could tell them a hundred times to stay behind, they would never listen. For a vessel meant to be void of mind, Ghost was one of the bugs with the strongest will that Hornet ever had seen.

“You will still come with me, even if I say no, right, little Ghost?”, Hornet said, shouldering her needle. Ghost didn't nod or sign at her, they simply stared, with their unblinking, never changing expression. It was enough for Hornet to know that they wouldn't leave.

“Alright, but don't get into my way.”, Hornet said. At this, Ghost swung their nail and jumped in front of Hornet in a pose that depicted a challenge, then their nail went down on the ground in a strike, the swing of it breaking through the calmness of the morning.

“I know! I know! You've beaten me twice, but... I have gone easy on you.”, Hornet half hissed. It was a blatant lie and she knew it. The first time she had simply underestimated them (or she simply had become tired of fighting) and the second time... she had given it her all and they still had remained victorious. In a sense, Ghost was the new king of Hallownest, but they didn't seem to put any mind on the title. They didn't even seem to be wanting to be celebrated for being the saviour of Hallownest. They simply joined Hornet every morning for hunting and went off on their own afterwards, always coming back to play with their friends in Dirtmouth.

As the both of them jumped down the well, Hornet couldn't help but think about that there wasn't much to rule anymore. This kingdom was in shambles. It had been two weeks and the dried off infection still crusted the crossroads, too little bugs alive to care much about cleaning the place up. It was becoming more and more difficult to get food, because so many of the infected had simply been reanimated husks, without any meat left in them.

They surely would have to wander to Greenpath again, hopefully finding a few vengeflies and mosscreeps to bring home.

Hornet was used being alone. She had been alone for a very long time. She had managed. She never was lonely... well, maybe a little lonely and now there was a bunch of strangers up in Dirtmouth who relied on her. Hornet never wanted for anyone to rely on her. She had seen what happened when bugs relied on someone and... there wasn't a solution.

She looked down on Ghost again, they had their nail on the ready and stared vigilantly in front of them. They must have crossed this crossroads a dozen times on their journey, still expecting to be attacked by the infected every given minute. Hornet could understand that it was hard for them to let go of old habits.

She was the same. She never let go of her needle as well. Even with the infection never being able to come back, she had to remain vigilant. She would protect her siblings, no matter what. She wouldn't, no she couldn't, let anyone down.

“We are nearing Greenpath.”, she said, only to cut through the silence between them. She knew it wasn't Ghost's fault that they didn't have a voice, but after years of not being able to talk to anyone, Hornet barely could stand the silence, when there was someone she could talk to. “Remember, when we hunt the mosscreeps, take their leaves as well, for the herbivores.”

While Hornet was able to eat plant matter as well, it never had been satisfying to her. She was the daughter of a spider and a wyrm, both predators, and therefore she usually would hunt for food. She was unsure about what kind of diet Ghost and Hollow needed, but they seemed to be content with the prey she brought back, so she wouldn't change anything about it.

“And remember, we can't hunt too much. The population needs a chance to recover.”, she said as well. The infection had done a number on the whole of Hallownest... it wasn't a surprise that there was such a food shortage. In fact, Hornet had cut her own food intake in favour of her siblings and anyone who couldn't hunt or still needed to recover. That bug, Tiso, came to mind. Had a far too big stomach for having been utterly destroyed by the colloseum of fools. Why Ghost had dragged him back to Dirthmouth, she would never understand.

Ghost showed that they understood with a little nod of their head and the both of them entered Greenpath. It was a MUCH nicer place without the infection, but they still had to pay attention, the fool eater plants were easy to overlook (not that Hornet had ever overlooked them, but Ghost tended to forget...) and there were some predators still around, though they were no match for her needle. The problem was to avoid them to not hunt too much. Like she had said to Ghost, they needed to give the population time to recover, if they wouldn't want all to starve beforehand.

“We get only enough for everyone back in Dirtmouth.”, Hornet said again. “Then we leave again. Let's search for some mosscreeps first.”

The both of them jumped and slashed their way through the vegetation of Greenpath. While Hornet preferred to use her needle, Ghost had found a lot of new ways to move around since the first time they fought and they dashed (literally leaving their shell behind and somehow phasing through time and space) and jumped with wings that reminded Hornet of her father... and she got a bad feeling in her guts every time she saw them.

After a bit of time, they had managed to hunt two vengeflies to bring back, Hornet keeping them cocooned up for transportation and were now searching through the vegetation for some mosscreeps. Finally, Hornet found one and struck it down with her needle, preparing a cocoon for it again, when Ghost picked something up from the grass.

“Ghost, what do you have there?”, Hornet asked. The item was too small to be prey and they tended to hoard stuff they found. It probably was just something that was completely worthless nowadays, only generating Geo when given to this historian in the City of Tears. She still wanted to know.

Ghost came over and laid the thing they had picked up in her outstretched hand. When she looked down on it, she froze.

It was a King's Idol, the item that the citizens of Hallownest had crafted to worship her reclusive father. Each of them looked different, but they all shared the general shape and depicted his most salient feature: The horns that resembled a crown.

Staring down at it, something in Hornet broke. It might have been the stress she felt since Ghost had arrived. Or the fact that Hollow recovered from years of abuse from both the gods of Hallownest. Or that she was running on an empty stomach most of the time. But once she saw that thing, all her frustration crashed down on her at once.

You!”, she hissed. “It was all your fault! You knew that the plan wouldn't work! You knew that they would suffer and you still have let it happen! The teacher, the watcher, my mother, all sacrificed for nothing! And then, in the moment you were needed the most, you vanished, you damn coward! We needed you! I needed you! I hate you. I hate you and I can't even say it to your face anymore!”

Hornet threw the king's idol on the ground with so much force that it skipped on the ground and then fell on her knees, slowly getting aware of the tears on her face and the presence of little ice cold hands patting her arm.

“I am fine.”, she said, wiping the tears away. Just a moment of weakness, nothing else. Even though she could feel the judgemental stare of Ghost, she was fine. She had to be. “Seriously, I am fine.”, she continued once more. “Let's continue hunting.”

As Hornet was putting her composure back together, she didn't notice how Ghost continued to stare at her, picking up the idol from the ground, and only starting to move again once she called out for them.

The hunt had been more or less successful. At least they had found enough prey that nobody should go terribly hungry (at least when Hornet halved her own portion again). As usual, hunting had taken the better part of the day. Hornet would have liked to go hunt at some different locations, but the Old Stag from the stag ways wasn't around lately, apparently he was taking care of some personal business. With him not being around, it was just too far to walk to the Fungal Wastes or Deepnest, at least not when she wanted to come back the same day.

Currently Hornet took in her meal in Hollow's room with Ghost present as well. She was busy thinking about if there was another route that would make sure she could hunt elsewhere but Greenpath for once, when she felt a nudge. When she looked down, she saw how Ghost offered them a half of their mosscreep, holding the prey up in their little hands, seemingly eagerly awaiting for her to take it.

“I can't take this, Ghost.”, Hornet said. “You need all the food you can get, you are still growing.”

Ghost cocked their head and for once their eternal deadpan expression was on point. Hornet knew how ridiculous her argument was. Ghost had been born before her. They hadn't grown in years. Their body had been unable to grow because they didn't had access to void. “You know what I mean.”, she defended herself. There was the possibility that Ghost would start to grow as long as they stayed in Hallownest.

Ghost offered their meal a little while longer and then gave up with a little frustrated stomp of their foot. It was then when Hornet felt another nudge... this time it was Hollow, who had simply watched the scene unfold in front of them, offering their part of their meal.

“Oh no, not you too, Hollow.”, Hornet sighed. “You need the food much more than me, you are still recovering. I won't accept anything from you.”

The both vessels shared a look and once again Hornet asked herself if they could talk to each with some kind of void telepathy, before both of them looked at the ground in defeat.

“I am fine.”, Hornet repeated herself, she knew that. “Really, I am fine...”

Hornet awoke the next morning... not because her stomach cramped and she had trouble sleeping because of it, but because someone nudged her. She cracked one eye open and murmured: “It's barely morning...” She just craved to go back to sleep, to forget about the day in front of her for a few minutes longer, but the nudging got more and more intense, until she shouted: “Fine! I am getting up! Stop bothering me!”

It was Ghost in front of her and immediately Hornet stopped being annoyed. What if something had happened? “Is something the matter with Hollow? Or is a threat approaching the village?”, she asked, already fumbling for her needle, once again forgetting that Ghost was more than capable of defending the village themselves. They just looked too much like a little, defenseless child, even though Hornet had experienced otherwise.

Gladly, Ghost shook their head, though this put Hornet right back into annoyance. “Then why have you woken me up?”, she said, falling back down in her pillows, ignoring the urge to close her eyes and looking at Ghost again, making sure to give them a judgemental stare.

Ghost did grip something under their cloak (wings? Hornet never knew what this thing around the vessels was) and after a bit of struggling, they produced a jar... a jar filled with honey. The smell actually made Hornet's mouth water. Honey was one of the few things she liked to eat that wasn't meat, mostly because she had trained in the Hive in her youth.

Though, as lucky as she felt about having more food, she couldn't help but scold Ghost. “Ghost, did you get this on your own? The Hive is dangerous, even without the infection! What if the Hive Knight would have found you?”

Ghost shook their head and then outstretched their hand, showing Hornet a shiny little charm. A charm she remembered. The charm of the Hive. “Wait, you have been there and challenged him already?” Hornet wanted to be surprised, but Ghost couldn't really surprise her anymore. When they could surprise her somehow, then it was that they were full of surprises.

“Anyway... I guess I have to thank you, though I don't approve that you sneak out at night into the Hive.”, Hornet murmured. “At least we have more food for the group now..”

Ghost rigorously shook their head and pressed the jar in her hands. “For me?”, Hornet asked and Ghost nodded.

“But... Ghost, I appreciate it, but I don't need.. the others need the food much more than...”

Another shook of their head and a stomp of their foot along with crossed arms and a slight turn around. Hornet suddenly felt very small, she had never seen them that upset.

“Alright, alright...”, she said. “Maybe I have eaten insufficient lately...”

Ghost nodded again and gave the jar of honey another press, so that she had to hold it firmly in her hands.

“Alright alright...”, Hornet finally gave in. “I will take your offer, Ghost.”

As she opened the jar, her hunger became more and more apparent and soon she dug in and had finished the whole jar in what felt like no time and finally, for once, she didn't feel overly hungry. Satisfied even.

She then saw Ghost holding up something. A little rock with a few letters written on it. Lately Cornifer had given them writing lessons, though it still was a work in progress.

“Fine?”

That was the word they had painted on the rock (where did they even have the colours from?).

“I am fine.”, Hornet said. “This time for real. I am sorry, Ghost, I shouldn't have lied to you. I just feel so... responsible for everyone. I can't show weakness in front of anyone.”

Ghost shook their head again and then got something out. Hornet recognized it as the King's Idol they had found in Greenpath. They tossed it at the ground, just as she had done and then hit it with their nail, leaving a notable crack in it.

“You as well don't have the best memories of him, right?”, Hornet said. Both of them had been left behind, though in a different kind of way. Ghost had been discarded and Hornet had been left with responsibility far too huge for her age.

Ghost nodded again and gave the King's Idol another smack, so that it landed in front of her. Hornet took it into her hands and stared at it. She did miss him, that she had to admit to herself, but she also knew that her anger and her disappointment were real and there was no reason to hide it in front of Ghost.

She squeezed the Idol until it cracked into two pieces and just watched as they fell down. “Thank you, Ghost.”, she said. “But make sure to not tell Hollow about this.”

The way Hollow idealized their father... it would break their heart seeing his image being defiled like that.

Another quick nod and then Ghost actually got another one out, their face clearly saying: “Wanna break another?”

A grin crept over Hornet's face. She would never get her mother back or escape her responsibilities, but at least she could vent out her frustrations, even though it took her sibling for her to realize.

“Oh you bet I want.” (Author's note: Little Ghost is kinda fun to write. I think they are a character mostly showing what they feel through body language and it was fun to come up with how they would act. I also like to think that they can stare very judgemental, even though their expression never changes, a stare of them can make anyone falter. Hornet's relationship to PK is... complicated. He hasn't actually been a bad father to her, but as the infection came back and depression took over, he left her alone more and more and she got angry about it... especially when he decided to just vanish. She felt utterly betrayed by it and it is a huge source of her frustration and anger. I put in some little references to the game in there, try to find them if you please.)

#hollow knight #fanfiction #hornet #little ghost #march of the whumps #request fill #hornet has issues #whump #emotional whump #ask answered #thx for the ask #littlewritesstuff #Anonymous

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lilhawkeye3 · 3 years

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Find Your Way Back Home, Ch 5

Riyo Chuchi x Commander Wolffe, Riyo Chuchi x Commander Fox

Rating: T |||| Word Count: 2.1k |||| Set Post Order 66

AO3 Link

previous • next

Riyo’s heart was in her throat as she slipped out of Wolffe’s room that morning, hair slightly disheveled from her pillow’s thickly woven fabric. She hadn’t meant to sleep in so late, but tried to crush her lingering guilt by reminding herself that she hadn’t slept that well in months now.

She came to an abrupt stop when she spotted Rex standing in the kitchen, staring out the window at the fields of javun with a steaming cup of tea in his hands. He looked back over his shoulder at her with a soft smile.

“How is he?” Nothing could get by the captain, especially in such small quarters with two of the people he held dear to him.

Riyo offered a tired smile. “Healing. Able to hold a conversation, and be sarcastic,” she added as an afterthought, feeling pleased when Rex chuckled. “I think he’ll be alright.”

The blond’s smile turned bittersweet. “As alright as the rest of us,” he sighed.

Her shoulders drooped. “I suppose so.”

He grimaced apologetically and turned away, back to the window and the world outside. “Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“But not untrue.” Riyo made her way around the kitchen, snatching her favorite mug from the drying rack and a reusable tea bag from her cabinet before preparing a drink with the hot water pot and tea leaves Rex had left out on the counter.

He spoke up as she poured water into the ceramic mug. “I’m glad it was you.”

She nearly spilled the pot all over herself with how much she jolted in surprise. “Pardon?”

Rex was looking at her again, eyes a deep gold in the morning light. “I’m glad it was you here.” He lifted his drink to his mouth, but not in time to hide his sly smile. “I don’t think there’s anyone else that could really help him now. And I know Ahsoka’s been glad to see a friendly face.”

Riyo blinked at him vacantly for several long seconds. “And you?” She asked, choosing to side-step dealing with the confused swirl of emotions that now filled her.

Rex smirked, clearly knowing she was avoiding it. “I found it nice to see that someone held true to their oaths.”

Her mind flashed back to when she’d first met Rex and his men, the renowned 501st Battalion. Orto Plutonia had been an unhappy experience, but one that she had grown much from. Seeing the lives of so many men cut short over miscommunication and greed, learning that her people were in the wrong, treating with a proud nation despite being uncertain of her place.

“‘To die for one’s people is a great sacrifice. To live for them, a greater sacrifice. I choose to live,’” she recited, those words seared into her soul until the day she died. She met his gaze with a steady look and a raised eyebrow. “What do you choose, Rex?”

He met her stare with an equally quirked brow, as if to say I’m here, aren’t I? “I live for my brothers that haven’t been freed. I live for the ones that already breathed their last.” He paused. “I live for her.”

Ahsoka.

“She chose you,” Riyo said slowly, parsing out his hidden message. “She saved you.”

“Yes.”

“She saved you… but at the cost of your brothers.”

He sucked in a breath. “Yes.”

Riyo closed her eyes, feeling the pain that rolled off him in waves. “And you blame her for it, yet you owe her everything.” She opened her eyes, and the devastated look on Rex’s face showed she’d guessed correctly.

“Sometimes, I wish she’d let me die with them,” he whispered into his mug, watching several stray tea leaves swirl in a gentle pattern. “To see them living, but not really alive– ” He trailed off, searching for something, anything to keep him afloat. Riyo rushed forward, gently taking the mug from his hands and setting it aside before wrapping her arms around his waist. She hoped he wouldn’t take offense– they’d never been close– but he readily clung to her, breaths coming in ragged pants as everything finally overwhelmed him.

She wondered if he hadn’t allowed himself to feel until now, in this safe haven on a forgotten planet.

“It’s a fate worse than death,” he finished, fingers clutching at her knitted sweater.

Riyo stroked his back, trying to help soothe him. “It is for you and them,” she murmured. “You can grieve for what you lost. You’re safe here.” She felt him tremble against her and tried to hold him tighter. “Would… would you like to come help me in the fields today? Ahsoka can stay here; she’ll be able to monitor Wolffe and come get us if needed.”

Rex exhaled shakily, but she could feel some of the tension leave him at the temporary escape she was giving him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

It seemed that Wolffe wasn’t the only trooper under her roof that she’d be helping to heal.

————————

Riyo woke Ahsoka after she’d gone to get dressed for the day. She wasn’t about to leave the house without alerting her friend, seeing that her and Rex disappearing with no notice could trigger a traumatic response. As it was, Ahsoka opened one eye to listen to Riyo’s explanation of where they’d be before mumbling her thanks and burrowing back under her blankets.

And so Riyo and Rex went out into the juvan fields.

They talked while they worked. Rex spoke of the brothers he’d lost, Riyo of the friends among the Corries. Color returned to his face and light to his eyes as the day went on and the memories piled up. By the time the afternoon light began to fade, he was able to laugh over some of the shenanigans his Torrent squad had got up to.

Ahsoka watched them both with curious eyes when they returned, but she didn’t comment. Instead, she told them that while Wolffe had been muttering on and off in his sleep, he hadn’t yet woken up again. Riyo made sure to set aside some of their soup that evening for him, thinking that he might finally be stable enough to eat. When dinner was finished, Riyo left Ahsoka and Rex to their low conversation as they spoke over washing dishes in the kitchen to check on Wolffe. To her surprise, he seemed to just then be waking.

The savory smell of the soup in her hands caught his attention first, and by the way his stomach rumbles, food was definitely what he needed. After a quick check to his bandages, Riyo held the bowl and helped him sip directly from it, finding that to be easier than trying to use a spoon. It was a slow and steady process, but she wanted to make sure Wolffe didn’t eat too fast and consequently vomit it up because his body couldn’t handle so much after so long asleep.

He seemed to be keeping it down well, to her relief, but then Wolffe mentioned needing to use the fresher, and a whole new set of obstacles arose. The first they barely managed to overcome as Riyo helped Wolffe stand by letting him lean heavily on her, and together they shuffled out of the room and to the fresher.

The second wasn’t as difficult physically, but still proved to be problematic on its own.

Riyo glares at him, unimpressed. “Can you even get your pants off by yourself?”

Wolffe’s indignant expression makes her fight back laughter. “Of course I can–” he starts, curling downwards slightly to try and pull them down far enough, but the crunch flares up his chest wound and he hisses. “Fine.”

Riyo sighed. “Wolffe, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I had to change you into these when you got here. Besides, I often walked through the Corrie barracks on my own, and one time I made a wrong turn and ended up in the Flash squadron locker room, and–”

“Alright, alright. Your point has been made,” he groaned with a roll of his eyes, and she finally caved in and laughed.

“Come on, then.” He held still as she carefully pulled down the sweatpants and underclothes, being sure not to aggravate his thigh injury. She’d been honest about seeing him bare not bothering her; anatomy was anatomy, and it was nothing to be ashamed of or shy away from, especially when acting as an impromptu medic. “There, is that good?”

“Yeah, I can–” Wolffe shifted slightly and accidentally put weight on his bad leg, nearly falling if he hadn’t tightened his hold around Riyo’s shoulders. Her hands shot out to brace his waist and keep him from toppling over.

“You’ll be able to do this alone soon, but not yet,” she reaffirmed. Closing her eyes, she jerked her chin towards the toilet. “Get busy, soldier.”

“Hilarious,” Wolffe deadpanned, but Riyo could feel him relax under her fingertips. She’d hoped her nonchalant manner would be similar enough to any medical care he’d had before, and it looks like her bet had paid off. She was a statue, solid and silent next to Wolffe as he relieved himself for the first time since waking. He was trembling from standing for so long by the time he finished, and didn’t say a word as Riyo helped him redress, wash off, and return to the bedroom. She knew how hard it was to accept help after spending so long being someone others relied on, and to be in a situation where he had no other option than to accept her generosity was bound to be even more difficult.

The unwitting sigh of relief that slipped through his lips as she guided him to lay back down on the bed was evidence of how taxing the short trip was. It worried Riyo. If he was to try and go anywhere further than the fresher, he’d need someone much stronger than her to steady him, and she didn’t know how long Rex or Ahsoka were planning to stay. She was already surprised they’d remained for this long, but she figured Rex wanted to make sure his brother was definitely alright before leaving him again.

“Thank you.”

She looked up from maneuvering the blankets back over his legs at Wolffe’s raspy voice. He was watching her again, appearing just as defeated as he had in the low light the night before. His eyes were flat, his face shadowed and paler than it normally was, which only served to heighten his haunted form.

“You’re welcome,” she finally replied after several moments of silence. “How do you feel now?”

He closed his eyes and let his head sink back into the pillows. “Tired.”

Riyo smiled lightly. “You need to rest. Can you drink some water before you go back to sleep?”

Wolffe hummed, which she took to be affirmative. When she returned with a mug of cool water, it was to find Wolffe had already propped himself up and was looking somewhat expectantly towards her. She held the mug to his lips again so he could drink and distracted herself by watching the way his eyes fluttered shut as he emptied the mug. With that done, she set it aside on the bedside table and hovered in case Wolffe couldn’t arrange himself comfortably on his back. To her delight, he was able to do it himself, albeit with shaking arms. Some progress was better than none at all.

Dusk was truly settling in and the room was beginning to grow darker with each passing second, so Riyo murmured a polite excuse and moved to leave. She was stopped by Wolffe’s hesitant call of her name.

“Yes?” Hopefully he wasn’t in too much pain…

“Can you…” His words died off as he gestured weakly towards the floor next to his bed.

Oh. “Of course I’ll stay,” Riyo agreed. “Let me wash up and change, and then I’ll be back.”

————————

His eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell in a steady, slow rhythm by the time she slipped back into the room. His arm dangled awkwardly off the side of the bed so his knuckles brushed the chilled floor. This time Riyo was the one to take his hand in hers and rest them on her pillow, next to her head. He was warm and solid, something real that grounded her as she drifted off to sleep.

It was too dark for her to see the weary smile on Wolffe’s face as his thumb rubbed gentle circles against her palm before he too was out like a light.

#commander wolffe x riyo chuchi #commander wolffe #riyo chuchi #find your way back home #star wars #the clone wars #may the 4th #snowwolf #captain rex #ahsoka tano #swtcw fanfic

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linseelooo · 3 years

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To my great surprise, there are some followers still out there! Hi ladies! I responded on the original message...I hope that the correct way to do it these days...

Jesus could I sound any older??

Anywhozzles, lets do a quick update shall we?

Ok, last I left I gave birth to our littlest one Davis. He’s now 3. I know. Crazy.

Around 6ish months, I got a call from the babysitter that Davis was injured. Curtis got him before I did and checked him out and said he looked fine, minus a reddish bruise on the side of his head. A few days later that bruise swelled and we rushed him to the ER. He had suffered a skull fracture and had a minor brain bleed. We were sent by ambulance to the big city and released about 24 hours or so later. I quit my job that day and haven’t gone back. There’s a lot more too it, a CPS case, lawsuit, the babysitter trying to BLACKLIST me in our town with other sitters (like I can trust anyone with my kid again anyways), CPTSD-awakening (it’s what I’m calling it), and so many bad feelings. It was bad and I promise one day, I will share that story. Today is not that day.

In the CPTSD-awakening, I started therapy. Would you believe it, my childhood was SHITTY & being groomed then molested by my older Stepbrother wasn’t a “relationship” that I spent my WHOLE life (since I was 10?11?) ashamed of cause I thought I was a “sex obsessed child” & my mom probably had BPD & my stepdad is actually a Narcissist? I was SHOCKED and it literally fucked up my whole world. I cut off my Mom and Dad, which was fine til I cut them off from my kids. My mom simultaneously was sending me love cards, but calling my family in Florida and New York crying about how I took her grand babies from her (they would then harass me on FB until I deleted and blocked every.last.one). It was manipulative as fuck. Then May 2020, I got a call that she had died and my stepfather & siblings weren’t going to tell me. This also came from a step-sibling who later deleted and blocked me. The ONLY proof I have that my mother is dead, is the phone call I got from the ER doctor. And some text messages from my baby sister asking how I found out and if I remembered that my mom died thinking I hated her and I “get to live with that”. I never could find an obituary or any type of service that occurred, but it was in the thick of quarantine & apparently it had to be the great secret kept from yours truly. So, that opened another can of worms in therapy and apologies I’ll never get, but in a way she freed me. I have ZERO ties to my “family” now. She took all that with her when she left. It was a lesson that was a bitch to learn (still learning it tbh), but it may be the best one she taught me. The dreams that she’s still alive and just playing a joke on me are the worst though.

We recently bought our dream home and I’m gladly living my life as the ‘Queen of his Double Wide Trailer’ (please tell me you know that song). I went balls deep on my “farm” and got chicks and a pig to go with my dog and hens. Well, my dog decided that he prefers to eat animals rather then guard them, so he began to go after my hens and even my pig. Well, St. Patty’s Day he got my pig, who had to be put down. We then also made the decision to get rid of the dog. He had nipped at some of my male friends and even nipped some of the teenage boys. Once he ate my Dwight, I hated him. So, our little country life is having a bit of a rough start, but we’re not giving up. We’ll get some more animals soon, and I’ll do better research on dog breeds before I commit to a dog again. I’m finally in the country and I am waking up feeding animals and I guess, living out the life I always wanted. It’s all the things they said I couldn’t have. I’m going after all of it and sometimes I worry that I’m a bit cursed since it’s kinda going sideways (that little voice in our head can be SO LOUD), but I think that the most important part is that we haven’t given up. We won’t give up.

We are, coincidentally, starting court against Baby Mama again now. It’s been a lot with that crazy troll, including her having ANOTHER baby and not letting our son get his permit. He turned 16 in December and can’t get a job or even practice driving (even though he PASSED his permit test) because she’s a TWAT and won’t sign a form that says she gives her permission. It’s been so frustrating to deal with and I have so much built up rage that I both hope she shows up at my house, but also that I don’t have to see her or her TWATY mother. God that woman pisses me off so badly.

I think that’s all the major events. There’s been lots of other little things I’m missing, I’m sure, but I’ll remember most of it someday. Maybe.

Any questions that you got, shoot them my way! How is everyone else? I’m about to go stalk posts to catchup lol

#personal #babymamadrama #Sammy Kershaw #update #cptsd

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xxsweetiemurmaidxx · 3 years

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Oh! Hi! I'm new here, and i just want to tell about my fav oc that i work

And i still work in him!

Now i will talk about him 👉👈

IS A BIG BIIIIIIG TEXT QWQ

•Name: Code Incubus Venty

•Age: ?

•Died In:1997

•Name when alive: Cawtron Venty

•Specie: 50% Goat, 25% Incubus and 25% Spider, A Hybrid 👌

•history:

Code in hell is an Overlord, he is known to be The Overlord Of Pain and Nightmares He runs a company and is a partner at Blitzø 😎 When Vivo Code was called Cawtron, its full name was Cawtron Siena Venty He was a boy who suffered bullying for being lame and having heterochromia ... and his hair also helped the Bullys to bully him He was always accompanied by a plushie, and that plushie was a goat, because goats were his favorite animal plush story Cawtron's father, Marco Venty, was a mobster who was always wrapped up to the neck with debts that were never paid, and when Cawtron was 15 he lived alone at home, his father stopped at home and his mother was a prostitute to help in the expenses of the House already q the money with l Marco was going down the drain since he spent everything with unnecessary bets, so she who kept that house ... Marco was always "bothered" by Cawtron, and Cawtron just wanted his father to pay attention to him, since the brothers Candy and Yuri received more attention and he didn't Irritated by this, he went after something that would keep Cawtron undone, he spoke to a colleague who had a funny stuffed animal, he was a goat and the colleague said he really needed to get rid of the stuffed animal The plush was the target of spells that this "colleague" did, but one day he made a mistake ... today this plush is inhabited by a very evil soul, who was from hell When she arrived in hell, she did so much damage that Proprio Lucifer had to imprison her, for being evil this way, decided to use her to make a Hell dog but ... on the day that Lucifer was going to use this soul, she was freed by magic black and trapped in a plush that had no shape before, but dps invaded became a goat Marco did not want to hear the story of the plush and ignoring the colleague's warnings he took the plush to Cawtron Cawtron was happy with her, but ... after 1 month he noticed something strange with the plush, whenever he put it in a place, the plush always dps him to sleep was in his bed Until one day Cawtron saw the stuffed animals moving around and took a big scare The stuffed animal after that started to communicate with him by codes, what Cawtron did, by the name of Code on the stuffed animal As time passed, they became friends, Code did things that Cawtron had never seen, like giving life to his old toys, which had red and demonic eyes, with strange movements Code became a little more obsessive about Cawtron, he burned Bibles and everything that was "God" and said that Cawtron would never go to heaven What scared Cawtron a lot

Code knew things Cawtron didn't know about his parents That the Father was a mobster, betrayed his mother, had many lovers and made them pregnant, and after that he had the children aborted The mother was a prostitute, used drugs, and she had already betrayed her father. Cawtron didn't believe it, but dps believed it. Cawtron's dps turn 20, things have changed, parents had died The plush said the Mother died of Cancer because of smoking And the father in a shootout with the police Cawtron only had brothers and friends, and Code But Code didn’t want to know anything, as I said, he was a very bad soul who did damage in hell by killing almost the entire population He didn't care, Code's mission was to take a body, and put his foot down to kill people and become more powerful One day in college, Cawtron after being pressed by the popular, he went to the bathroom and Code got to him

Code: why are you crying, little human?

Cawtron: I am mocked by my appearance and because my parents were not nice people, they committed crimes, they had jobs that in the eyes of people are horrible ... I can't take it anymore ...

Code: ... what do you feel?

Cawtron: Pain ... and suffering ... Code: ... perfect ... and what did you want?

Cawtron: let this end ...

Code: let me help you ... I know how to get this over with ...

After that dialogue, Code invaded Cawtron's body ... the people at the college realized that he was strange ... who would smile all the time after he was finished making fun of? Until the Bullys re-pressed him in the closet

Fred: ... why do you laugh so hard huh? *laughs*

Cawtron did not answer, only increased the smile

Fred: ??? Are you enjoying being joked ??? What evolution did you see? For those who cried with that

Cawtron: heh ... * grabs him by the neck * I'm not afraid of you- not anymore-

His eyes were different, they were red, blood red It didn't take long for Cawtron to twist Fred's neck, making people scream and run ... People standing around him were horrified by this And they asked why do that Cawtron just walked to the college door, but before that, he went into the back where the school light switches were and set fire, it didn't take long to hear an explosion from a part of the college that caught fire Cawtron from there on the run, until he arrived in 1997, February 8th ... his birthday Cawtron killed children, at night he invaded the children's house, and always killed them by dictating a blood message on the doors or wall, or even hanging the children's heads on the door, he found a figure before the birthday, who looked at him in a dead end, Cawtron passed right by ... but I came back to see it again ... the figure was gone ... But one day, on his birthday, he went after a child in an antique store But it didn't work out, because the police cornered him

Policeman: Stop! You'll be fine there, kid, you're under arrest for child murder, put the knife on the floor and your hands behind your head Cawtron no was no longer being controlled by Code ... he was back ...

Cawtron: NO ... I WILL NOT BE ARRESTED!

Policeman: don't resist

Cawtron saw no escape, he didn't want to be arrested, he couldn't live with a soul that wants to kill people in the body, how would he have a normal life? He took gas and put in his body

then after took a lighter and put fire on himself during his slow, he saw that figure again, saying "bye bye" to him . . . . . .

1997, February 2 in hell

Cawtron arrives in hell the same day ... but he is scared since he didn't know what happened

Razzle and Dazzle appears and accompanied Cawtron until they reached Charlie

Charlie: hello! I'm Charlie ... welcome to hell!

Cawtron: hell???

Charlie explained everything to him, and in every part of the explanation

Cawtron was more horrified

Charlie: you can't keep the same name ... here you have to change ... what do you want to call yourself?

Cawtron after thinking a lot, he remembered the cause of it all

CODE

Cawtron: Code ... I want to call myself Code ...

Charlie asked him if he wanted his memories back, to keep them And Cawtron, now Code, said yes ... From there he met again with the Father He began to suffer torture, because he refused to fulfill a tradition tradition of the Venty Family

In every blood moon in the world of the living, rituals are committed, where there are paintings with blood, many things ... And a melody is played at the sound of the bloody moon

But he didn't want to comply What left his father now is called Misfit

Angry... And it led him to force Code to do this with torture, poisoning, days without eating

Until he decides to leave the house But he had nowhere to live, which led him to Valentino's whorehouse U_U

I hope you like, and i will post more, but if you wish!

Baaaaay!

Yeah, look at my boi, he's my favourite oc, is the true-

#HazbinHotelOcs #hazbinhotelocs #hazbin_hotel_oc #CodeVenty #hazbinocsoverlord #Hazbin_Hotel_Oc #Hazbin_Hotel_Ocs #Originalcharacter #Ocs #oc #favoriteoc #ocart #ocdemon #OcDemon

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missjanjie · 3 years

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Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (7/?)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~2.9k (this chapter) / ~21k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

read on ao3 | ko-fi

Chapter Summary: Tensions suddenly come to a head between Jan and Jackie, leading the two of them to handle the fallout in very different ways.

When Brooke Lynn walked into her classroom and saw Jackie already there, pacing back and forth, worry was her obvious, immediate reaction. “Penny for your thoughts?” she asked after clearing her throat to get her attention.

Jackie managed to stand still and lean against Brooke’s desk to catch her breath. “Have you seen Jan’s instagram story?”

“No,” she answered as she sat down at her desk, “because on principle I tend to avoid my students’ social media. Why?”

“Oh, so that’s where you draw the line?” she scoffed as she got her phone out and opened the app. “Here, look.”

Brooke took Jackie’s phone from her and opened Jan’s story. From what she could see, Jan had gone out the previous Saturday with some of her Heathers castmates – the girls playing the title characters, if she had to guess, considering each post was captioned with ‘#theheathers’. They were drinking and dancing, the whole thing appeared to be relatively innocuous. It was typical college girl behavior. “Okay… seems like a girls’ night out, what’s the issue?”

“Go to the next one.”

With a roll of her eyes, Brooke obliged. In the next story, the girls were dancing and grinding on each other to a techno beat. But then the camera zoomed in on Jan and Nicky sharing an innocent enough close-lipped peck, though Nicky’s hands were on Jan’s ass in a pointedly non-innocent manner. They shared another couple kisses, both of them giggling the whole time. “Is that it?” she asked as she handed the phone back to Jackie.

Jackie looked at her incredulously, mouth agape. “What do you mean ‘is that it’? Were we not watching the same clip?”

Brooke shrugged. “She went out with some friends, got drunk, and got handsy with one of them. I don’t see what the big deal is - she’s nineteen, this is how kids have fun.”

“So you would’ve been fine if it were Vanjie grinding and kissing on some pretty girl?”

“First of all,” she put a hand up to stop her, “Vanjie was already my girlfriend at this point, comparatively. Whereas Jan is a girl you’re fucking because you’re allergic to talking about how you feel about her. Second of all, we did have a run-in with jealousy, but that’s another story entirely,” Brooke answered. “But we wouldn’t have gotten past it if we didn’t know how to fucking communicate.”

Jackie looked down, feeling like a child being scolded, and sat at one of the student desks. “Will you tell me the jealousy story?” she asked, voice meek. She had always seen Brooke and Vanessa’s relationship as perfect, above reproach. Knowing that even they could have a bump in the road made her feel a bit better.

Brooke’s expression softened. “Sure. So, Vanj was doing this big dance competition, as was this other dancer from Julliard. And I mean this girl is all over her from day one, pissed me the hell off,” she recalled. She shook her head because looking back, the story felt a bit ridiculous to tell, but maybe that would help even more.

“Jump ahead to this Halloween party she throws and invites us to, and once again she’s all over my girl. But what got me was how Vanessa bought into it. I got pissed and left and she admitted she was only flirting with her because she liked the jealous, angry sex we had so much.”

“I don’t know what I expected,” Jackie admitted with the slightest hint of a laugh, “but it wasn’t that. How’d you guys get past it?”

“Vanessa made a very sweet, if not a bit corny gesture and it led to this romantic little reunion in the studio,” she concluded. “So, from there on out we made sure to talk about our feelings instead of leaving things up to chance by hoping we’ll guess what’s wrong with each other. See? Different situations entirely, but we didn’t solve it by avoiding tough conversations.”

Jackie groaned and hid her head on the desk. “I objectively know you’re right,” she conceded. “I’m gonna talk to her, I promise.”

Brooke gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You got this,” she said with confidence as she stood up. “Now look alive, class starts in five.”

“I got this,” Jackie repeated to herself before focusing her energy towards shifting into ‘teacher mode’. It was always something that provided a good, if not necessary, distraction. When she was being a teacher, her personal life faded into the background. Even Jan turned into another student in the class, and God knows that was a weight lifted from her.

And class did go off without a hitch, especially since she spent most of it doing paperwork while Brooke led the class. Teacher mode gave her focus, tunnel vision. In fact, she hardly said a word until after Brooke dismissed the students. Then she did speak. “Hey, Jan, can you hang back for a bit?”

Jan seemed surprised but nodded quickly. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” she said to Gigi before turning back to Jackie. “What’s up?” she asked, not noticing that Brooke had quietly slipped out of the room along with her classmates.

It was then that Jackie realized she hadn’t planned out what she was going to say. Why hadn’t she spent some of those ninety minutes doing something more useful than grading texts? She was mad at herself and anxiety began bubbling up inside of her. Improvising it was. “I… um… saw that you uploaded some videos from Saturday onto your story last night…”

“Oh yeah, I went out with the Heathers. It was a cute place, great cocktails,” Jan chirped as casually as she would discuss the weather. To the untrained eye, it seemed like she was truly oblivious to what could’ve bothered Jackie about what she posted.

But Jackie knew better. She knew Jan was a talented actress, that she’d had since last night (or even since Saturday) to prepare an answer and that, for lack of a better phrase, she was trying to bullshit her. “Don’t get cute, Jan. You know what I’m talking about. What’s going on with you and Nicky?”

Jan tilted her head. “I never tagged her or told you her name, how did you know it?”

Fuck. Jackie could’ve kicked herself for that. Evidently, improv wasn’t her strong suit, and on top of that, she was a terrible liar, leaving her with no choice. “I happened to be by the auditorium during one of your rehearsals. You guys seem… close.”

“Maybe we are close,” Jan conceded. “I don’t see the problem, pretty sure I can get ‘close’ to whoever I want, right?”

She stiffened, clenching her jaw. “So you are fucking her?”

Jan clicked her tongue and scoffed. “No, I’m not. But who are you to get pissy at me about it? It’s not like I need to ask your permission to hook up with other people.”

“I’m not being pissy,” Jackie insisted, unable to avoid sounding defensive. “But if you want her, let me know. I’m not gonna waste my time.”

“Oh, so now what we’ve had is a ‘waste of time’ because I might be attracted to someone else too?” Jan snapped.

She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, no that’s not what I mean. I don’t-”

“Please,” Jan put her hand up and waved her off. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, Jackie,” she hissed, then turned on her heel, leaving before Jackie could respond.

The hall was silent except for her heels against the linoleum. As she rounded the corner and headed out of the building, she fished her phone out of her pocket and made a call. “Hey, are you busy? Good, I’m coming over, I’ll be there in ten.”

Jan couldn’t even remember the walk from the main building to the dorms. A rush of anger-fueled adrenaline propelled her forward – it was like she blinked and suddenly she was banging on Nicky’s door.

Nicky opened the door. “Hey, what’s going on? You sounded-” she was cut off by Jan kissing her hard, fisting her hand into her hair and pulling her close. She blinked in surprise when her mouth was freed. “Um… What is happening? Am I fucking you? Is that where this is going?”

“You’re so smart and perceptive, it’s so sexy,” she breathed out before reconnecting their lips, kicking the door shut behind her.

“You don’t have to sweet talk me, babygirl. I’ve been waiting for this.”

Jan let out a small sigh of relief as she backed onto Nicky’s bed, pulling the blonde down with her. She immediately resumed kissing her eagerly, sloppily. There was a tangle of limbs as their clothes were yanked off and tossed every which way, she couldn’t seem to get naked fast enough. “Don’t be gentle with me,” she breathed out, “I need it hard, need you to fuck me til I forget how to think or feel.”

Nicky paused, her lips curling into a smirk. “Hard, huh? I think I know just what to do.” She got up and rifled through her drawer until she pulled out a harness and the dildo that strapped onto it. “I’m gonna take good care of you,” she assured.

Jan’s eyes lit up and she laid back readily, propping her legs apart and arching her hips up when Nicky got herself in position. Her body trembled in anticipation as she watched Nicky slick up the silicone cock with lube. The waiting felt like torture as her desire built up faster than she could deal with and it culminated with a sharp moan when Nicky finally eased it in.

“Good girl,” she gently praised, giving her a moment to adjust – it was one of her bigger ones and she knew Jan would feel it. Once she was certain the girl under her was ready, she switched to a rough, fast thrusting pace. One hand was roughly pulling on Jan’s ponytail, the other carefully wrapping around her neck, applying just enough pressure to make her whimper and squirm. If Jan wanted it hard and rough, she was more than happy to oblige.

And Jan was even more certain this was exactly what she needed. As she moaned and writhed about, all she could focus on was how good it felt. The tinges of physical pain were arousing, and enough to distract from the emotional pain that was trying to linger. She needed Nicky to choke her, slap her, pull her hair, anything to keep her grounded solely in the moment. “Yes, fuck, please don’t stop,” she begged.

Not that Nicky was planning on it. Her hips snapped forward with each thrust, the sound of skin smacking together filling the room, only to be drowned out by Jan’s moans when she hit her orgasm. “That’s it, come for me,” she encouraged, fucking her through it until she was certain Jan was completely spent. She looked down at the brunette as she pulled out, pleased with how utterly wrecked she looked.

“Fuck…” Jan panted breathlessly, laying flat on the bed and letting her eyes shut for a moment. Even with her eyes closed, she was seeing stars. “Thanks, Nicky. You have no idea how badly I needed that.”

“You don’t wanna talk about it, do you?” Nicky teased after she cleaned up and got under the covers with her.

Jan shook her head, then hid her face in the crook of Nicky’s neck. The last thing she wanted was to think about what sparked her urge to come here in the first place. “I don’t even want to think about it. Can we just… take a nap?”

“Perfect idea,” she yawned as her eyes closed.

The two of them slept in silence for about an hour, with Jan being the first to wake up. For a moment, everything was warm and peaceful, she didn’t feel anything but comfort and bliss.

Slowly but surely, however, the negative feelings of hurt, anger, and spite slipped back in and led her to grab her phone off of Nicky’s nightstand. She had to do something to make herself feel better. “The lighting is so good right now, we should take a selfie.”

Nicky yawned and rubbed her eyes. “Fine, but only post it if we look cute,” she warned before posing so Jan could take pictures. She then watched over Jan’s shoulder as she uploaded one to her instagram story. “Wow, who are you trying to give jealousy with that one?”

“Is it that obvious?” asked Jan, blushing.

“A little bit,” Nicky giggled. “But I don’t mind, if you’re going to use anyone for that, I’m a great choice.” She laid back down and got her own phone out to share it to her story. “Do you think it’ll work?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

------

Brooke sighed as she looked at her phone for what had easily been the tenth time since she left the apartment. “Still no answer, but I just know she’s at home. She has to be.”

Vanessa nodded as they walked. “In the whole time we known her, she never ignores your texts, definitely not your calls. That picture got her all sorts of fucked up.”

Normally, Brooke adhered to her own set of rules to a T, but she had to break them when she sensed something was wrong with Jackie. And sure enough, when she checked Jan’s story (from Vanessa’s account), everything made sense. That was what had them rushing to her apartment, despite it rapidly approaching the middle of the night.

“She ain’t gonna get mad about you using the ‘emergency only’ key, is she?” Vanessa asked as she watched her wife rifle through her purse.

“I would consider this an emergency,” she defended as she unlocked the door and let them in. “Wait here, I’m gonna poke my head into her room and assess the situation.”

Vanessa waited patiently, arching her brow when Brooke returned. “What’s the tea?”

Brooke had a concerned, unnerved expression on her face like she was still processing what she had just walked in on. “We have a code gray.”

She furrowed her brows. “Jackie’s a violent hospital patient?”

“What? No. Also, how do you know that? Nevermind,” Brooke shook her head as she tried to stay on task. “She’s code gray as in Conan Gray, come look,” she explained before quietly leading Vanessa to the partially opened door.

Jackie was sitting on the floor against the side of her bed. She was wearing a purple letterman jacket that Brooke and Vanessa could ascertain was accidentally left there by Jan. ‘Heather’ by Conan Gray was playing, most likely having been on loop for God knows how long.

Vanessa realized how bad this was, and looked up at Brooke, waiting for instruction as to where to go from there.

Brooke decided to take the lead, carefully walking into the room with her wife following. “You okay, Jackie?” she asked gently.

“I ruined everything,” Jackie replied in a broken whisper. “I couldn’t deal with how I feel about her and I pushed her into a French actresses’ bed.” She laid down on the floor and sighed. “I can’t believe I fucked in this badly.”

Brooke and Vanessa propped Jackie back up, both wrapping an arm around her. “Hey, don’t talk like that. This is just a bump in the road, it’s not over yet,” Brooke assured.

“How can you be so sure of that?” Jackie sniffled.

“I just know.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

Vanessa decided to chime in. “Ain’t it obvious what you gotta do?” She received blank stares from both Jackie and Brooke. “Jan just wants to know you’re all in with her. She’s clearly just using blondie over there to make you jealous… We’ve all been there.”

“Speak for yourself,” Brooke retorted playfully.

She rolled her eyes at her wife. “What I’m sayin’ is she wanted to get under your skin and it worked. Maybe too well, but she got what she wanted. Now you just gotta tell her how you really feel, how bad you want her.”

Jackie hesitated, fiddling with the sleeves of the jacket. “Easy for you to say. I can’t just do big romantic declarations… I overthink way too much for that.”

“Well, that’s where we’re here to help,” Vanessa chirped brightly. “Under-thinking is my specialty.”

“Do you think you’re ready to try?” Brooke asked gently.

Jackie chewed on her lip and looked down. “I just… I’m scared,” she confessed.

The girls nodded in understanding – neither of them could blame Jackie for her fear and apprehension. Both of them knew what it was like to have someone you’d risk everything for while having a terrible fear of the potential fallout. They knew how fortunate they were to have so clearly had mutual feelings from the beginning, but they hadn’t been free from a rocky start. And they had faith in Jan and Jackie, while neither could explain it, they had to see it through.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Brooke assured. “So, we’re gonna get you through this.”

“Will you guys spend the night?” Jackie asked after a few beats of silence, long enough for her to be sure she wouldn’t start crying. “It’s getting kind of depressing, and drinking alone would be the thing to push it over the edge.”

“You had us at drinking,” Vanessa joked, pleased to see it got a smile out of Jackie. “Don’t worry, we ain’t going nowhere.”

#jankie #rpdr rpf #rpdr fic #rpdr fanfiction #rpdr fanfic

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Chapter 7 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

Chapter Summary: Tensions suddenly come to a head between Jan and Jackie, leading the two of them to handle the fallout in very different ways.

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