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isolated-bug · 2 years

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How do you think silco would deal or react with grief if jinx had died on the bridge?

OO this is a HARD one!!! Well, first off. I think pure rage. This would further fuel his anger towards Piltover as he would blame them and their tech and their superiority complex as the ultimate cause of Jinx's death. He arrived after Vi, Cait, and Echo had gone so he would not know any of them were involved.

But in addition to that i think it would harden him. He had finally opened his heart up just the tiniest bit to care about someone and something other than his cause. I think that if the series had continued with Jinx dying and Silco remaining, we would have seen a Silco that was more cold and cruel than his initial introduction. I imagine he would have been more demanding of his staff and more punishing to their failures. Outbursts of rage in his private chambers after meetings that didnt go his way etc. I imagine he would have thrown objects in these outbursts. I think it would be similar to the rage fit he had when he failed to capture Vi after all of his posturing and feeling so confident. When he picked up his lackeys and threw them back down to the ground. Kicking the shimmer addicts, etc. I think that level of reaction would have become the new norm when someone frustrated him. I imagine a lot of escalated reactions in discussions ending with a disheveled appearance as he shouts his final say-so while looking around the room at the terrified faces. and then, breathing heavily, he would try to straighten out his hair and dismiss whatever guests were there with a lot of snark. The dismissal being less of a courtesy or suggestion and more of a command. I imagine Sevika getting worried he has lost it and maybe even eventually leaving his ranks. I also imagine he would have kept the trinkets from Jinx and they would become prized possessions. Maybe something that every now and then he finds himself staring at for too long. Perhaps the only things that give him any sense of peace or grounding. Thinking, like a proud dad, how Jinx could have done x or y thing better and gotten a solution for him. I dont see him putting up any statues etc of her. I think he didnt care what the world thought of her so some grand structure like that wouldnt be necessary. But i also imagine you would be fucked if you happened to say anything negative about her in his presence. Ultimately i dont see him going into any substance abuse. His drive always seems to be fueled by his negative emotions. So if anything, he would grow his business even more. Silco is scary that way. He doesnt, generally, self-sabotage with rage like most do. Instead he uses it as a tool to become more powerful and design goals. But i definitely see him as a "burn the city to the ground" type of reaction. I think Piltover would have seen a very violent war from a very brazen nothing-left-to-loose Silco. It would be awe inspiring and horrific. Piltover would know the fury of Zaun. And finally i see him becoming less human. Yes he certainly is already on the more despicable end of the spectrum, certainly. But i see him loosing all sense of humanity and compassion. I see him no longer necessarily leaning so heavily on gentle/subtle manipulations and instead leaning harder on the intimidation end of the spectrum. He certainly uses that already, but i see that becoming the more dominant trait. I would love to hear if you agree or disagree or have completely different ideas or thoughts etc!

#arcane #silco #speculation about what if Jinx died #how do you all think it would have gone?#So many options and opinions and mine is just a tiny drop in a big pool!

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Thoughts on Sevika? What do you think is headed for her in s2 ? How do you think she is going to react to the news about silco being dead ?

ahhh as always, amazing questions! Honestly this is something i have given a lot of thought to and still dont have an answer But here is my thinking on the matter: With Silco gone, Sevika really has only 3 options. Fade into the background, find a new leader, or become a leader. I definitely dont ever see her just fading into the background; she is too strong willed and opinionated for that. And Jinx is not a leader nor would Sevika follow her. To what Sevika has said in the show, she wont change leaders unless she finds someone good enough to lead and from what we have seen there is no one like that currently displayed in the show. However, we ALSO have seen that Sevika has never taken a leadership role before. And i dont imagine she would because its likely too much work and she seems to like being a doer rather than an organizer. I think she likes having a leader so she doesnt have to own responsibility for decision making etc. So i see this going a few ways. One option is that someone we havent been introduced to comes out of the woodwork and took up control of reconstructing Singed's Shimmer operation with his assistance. I can easily see Singed agreeing to that cuz what is important to him is access to develop and research the product so anyone willing to help create a path for that is fine by him. In that situation, i could see them offering a job to Sevika since she knows all the routes and connections Silco had and her essentially retaining her prior position with new leadership. Though if that happens i ALSO see her having a personal vendetta against Jinx because the shimmer operation would JUST be a drug money grab rather than funding a renaissance the way it had been and i see her spending her personal time trying to hunt Jinx down and get payback for Silco and for her own life struggles as a result of Jinxs existence and actions. This would help further the isolation plot for Jinx and help push the story further into her madness so i think its a solid option. The other thing i see possibly happening is that Sevika herself chooses to take control of the operation out of respect for Silco and finally taking the leadership mantel. She would trust herself to run things as he did and she would have his same drive and motivation.. though i expect that Sevika, in a leadership position, would be willing to go to the Piltover council and accept the deal previously offered to Silco. In this situation she would be communicating to Piltover that Jinx is solely responsible for the rocket and would have her men help head the manhunt for Jinx. Again, meeting the needs of personal vendetta against Jinx for all the suffering, plans gone wrong, and loss of Silco. Either way, in S2 i see Sevika being a representation and active participant in further isolating Jinx and trying to turn the lanes against her. Without Silco keeping her on a leash, Sevika is free to act of her own will against Jinx without repercussion. I definitely see her taking advantage of that. That being said... there is a third alternative. The third, unlikely but plot twist surprise alternative, is that Sevika could be at peace with loosing Silco after mourning him. She could realize that the uprisings always fail and she looses people she respects. And this could turn into her giving up the fight. She would fade into the background and just be very drunk most days. And she may even possibly try to look for Jinx. Next to Silco, Sevika would be the most likely person capable of understanding Jinxs relationship with Silco and she would likely know that Jinx would never intentionally hurt him. She may even, in a surprise plot twist, sympathize with the loss of a second father figure and try and find Jinx to help her. Though i doubt Jinx would accept/trust anything from Sevika. I dont really see that happening. But i think it would be a neat option to follow. It would better put Sevika back into that grey humanity that Arcane is so good at doing. And it would give us a chance to see her as something other than a high ranking thug.

#sevika #arcane #jinx #silco #season2 #what will be sevikas new direct?#anyone have any other thoughts?? im really curious!!

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Still not over the hilarious contrast of Ekko putting the hex gemstone in a special containment device like it’s the plutonium core of an atomic bomb (which it kind of is), while Jinx is just like:

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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I was watching Arcane and thinking about how in each act Silco’s stance on where he is about physical affection or physical touch changes so drastically. After everything went down with Vander, Seeing the moments /interactions Silco had with jinx caught me so off guard at first. I was wanting to know what your thoughts are about Silco’s relationship with physical touch throughout the show? It sounds simple but it must have been really difficult to have gone through that much change in the amount of time he did. With the amount of traumatic stuff he went through It’s Impressive honestly.

So, generally, when you dont trust someone, you dont want them touching you. Think about it. Think about body language. If you arent comfortable in a situation you are usually crossing your arms etc. if someone taps your shoulder or whatever you might get a bit startled by it. You dont stand very close to people and your need for personal space gets bigger. Being physically close to people is a vulnerability thing.. it makes us feel, as humans, like we are exposed and its not something you would do with people you dont trust. I think that is part of why intimacy is often measured by 'how far' you have gone with someone. Me being an ace person, this works against me lol I think Silco pre-Jinx didnt trust people. After all, he was betrayed by the ONE person he never expected it from. So his personal space bubble grew and getting into close range of people only occurred on *his* terms when he wanted to use it as a way of violating other peoples space to assert dominance and control. Silco is a fantastic character who utilizes non-verbal manipulations very *very* well. I think a lot of that is because he needs to build an imposing environment to compensate for his smaller frame. Now, Jinx was a very needy kid and was all about feeling reciprocated love/comfort through touch. Whenever Vi comforted Jinx it was with touching her face sweetly, hugging her, cradling her chin etc. Jinx cuddles her stuffed animals or greets people she likes with physical affection. I think Jinx would have been a bit wary of Silco at first once her emotions would have subsided. But i think it would have only taken Jinx a few months or less to see that he really isnt out to hurt her and her opinion of him turning to liking him and seeing him as a father figure. Once her mindset would have gone to this, she would have been very physically affectionate with him and Silco, having been touch starved for so long, would not have known what to do about it. I imagine, much like the scene when she first hugs him, that he would have been sorta frozen at first and then tried to humor what the small child wants and offer the comfort to her to end the engagement quickly. After months and years of this, he eventually started to be actually comfortable with her in his space and even more comfortable with reciprocating to a degree. You can see in his interactions with him, Silco uses physical touch as a communication tool with Jinx. He grabs her wrist when she is distracted to ground her and pull her back into the conversation etc. I think and real emotional engagement and initiation of physical touch doesnt start with Silco though. I personally feel like him touching her is only a response or reaction to her *unless* it is being used as a tool to ground her or redirect her attention. Even when he is calling her name in the scene where she is listening to music, notice that he does not touch her for her attention. He gets near enough to slam his hand on her desk but does *not* initiate touch. The turning point in this behavior is when he thinks he is going to loose her. I imagine that the ONLY times, if ever, that Silco has initiated any physical touch with any emotion is when she is asleep. like a dad brushing her bangs out of her face etc. And even that, i imagine has only happened once or twice when he was putting her back to bed when he had to comfort her from a nightmare or a crying fit etc. BUT the first time i think he initiated purely selfish expression of emotion with Jinx through physical touch was when he thought she was dying on the bridge. I think that is the same point in which he realized how much she meant to him. He greedily holds her close and hugs her with full gusto. and i really think its tragic Jinx was unconscious for that... just imagine how meaningful that could have been for her if she would have been aware of it... :( soo... in summary, i totally agree with you that we see Silco's level of physical interaction with others grows as the series progresses BUT that is only in interactions with Jinx and i think its because she invaded his space and he cares about her so his trust/bond with her allowed for the closeness. and i think he is still guarded with his own initiation of physical interactions with her and wont do it at all with others unless it is a manipulation.

#arcane #silco #vulnerability

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Hey, are you ok? We haven’t heard anything from you in a bit and are getting worried.

Hey Anon! Thank you for reaching out <3 ive been going through a really bad run of depression and my online activity has really suffered as a result. its sorta one of those double edged swords, yknow? you feel like things are happening that mean no one wants you around so you self isolate and then the loneliness just gets worse so the depression gets worse and... well, yknow. self feeding spiral :( Its more than just that, of course. Lots of.. things.. interactions consistently going south, work stuff getting tough, family stuff, etc it feels a little like nothing is going right and theres no light at the end of the tunnel >.< Im sorry for worrying you :( i definitely am the person whose thoughts go from 0 to 60 wondering if someone died if i dont see them post in a while and having no info or insight just makes those concerns worse so i really hope i didnt put you through that.

Im still not really in a great head space. So i likely wont be posting much still. but i will try to be more attentive to my asks to not worry you. and i really want to re-watch arcane for the 10000000th time so hopefully that will inspire me to reread all of the fanfics and get back to more posting <3 thank you for the concern and love

#depression sucks #wish i had better coping methods #why do i always self sabotage #fuck trauma :/

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Arcane Basically

Arcane: Do you see this innocent, little girl with blue hair?

Me: yes

Arcane: you now have an emotional attachment to her

Me: ok

Arcane: do u promise to love her

Me: yes of course

Arcane: promise?

Me: yes!

Arcane: This little girl is now the supervillain

Me: SHE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

Based on (x)

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Don’t smoke kids

(You can get this as a poster, pin, sticker, phone case etc etc on my redbubble!)

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!

Please go read the ‘read more’ as it is such a perfect summation of how Silco is a good father to Jinx. Flawed, but good.

She doesn’t shirk away. Doesn’t flinch. This man has never hit or hurt her in any shape or form she doesn’t even know to expect it. She doesn’t justify herself or look sheepish. She waits for him to be done to surprise him…

I love this being pointed out, ive said it a few times myself. It is so so obvious that Jinx does not fear Silco and that has NOTHING to do with the fact that she is stronger than him. My mom was the worlds shortest and weakest lady and she terrifies me from multiple states away. I could easily kick her ass in a street fight but her abuse to me makes that not feel like a reality. If Jinx was abused or met with any kind of aggression from Silco, she would not have been so casual about him grabbing her. On the other hand, note how when Vi slowly and gently reaches out with just her fingertips to Jinxs arm how she immediately panics and freezes?? not sure if she is going to get hit or loved?? This is NOT a dig on Vi - its just showing the contrast and proof of how Jinx was not hit by Silco.

Also, regarding the weapon…

A father asking his daughter and most trusted confident and ally in a struggle that governed his entire life… Is not abusive?

yes! It would be abusive if he forced her into it, maybe she hated making weapons and hurting people and he made her do it anyway or locked her in a room or gave her unrealistic timelines. That would be an abusive thing. That would be an abuse of authority and power over her. But Jinx LIKES making weapons. She has been doing it since she was little in Vanders basement. All Silco did was support the interest and make her hobby more readily accessible to her and foster her growth within it. When he talks with her about the weapon, he doesnt give her a timeline. He doesnt scream at her. He gently insists she is capable. He isnt doing it to guilt her. He knows she struggles with insecurities and worries about not being smart enough/good enough/useful enough etc. He is trying to dissuade her inner monologue of doubt and instill her with confidence. and OP is so so spot on. Silco is a perfect representation of a person whose trauma has shaped them. He truly believes in the lessons he teaches Jinx and truly believes he is teaching them to her for her own benefit. He wants to see his daughter flourish and survive in this cruel world without Piltover getting to claim recognition for it. From a different storytelling perspective, Silco could be easily represented as the protagonist. A protagonist with questionable methods? Sure. But a protagonist none the less. I am under no illusion of what things Silco does wrong and are bad/evil behaviors. but with that being said i STILL wish i had a father like Silco growing up. Hands down, no questions asked, would trade my father for him any day of the week.

Let’s talk about Silco’s parenting.

An essay. Because the internet is stupid. The meta is going to touch on the question of manipulation (a commonly raised but moot point), the concept of “good” parenting versus “perfect” parenting, his relationship with Vander, as well as a double standard I see with traumatized people both in fiction and in real life.

Keep reading

#Silco #arcane #i just love this man so much #he is so wonderfully complicated and broken

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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I was instantly inspired by @oldfashionedhand 's request of this disastrous parent teacher night.

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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so many great points here!!

I think the overall exploration of "what does jinx want/want to fix?" is an excellent question.

please forgive as I will be answering from a broken persons mindset, but I dont think "fixing" is within her ambitions anymore. Maybe when she was little and naive, but not now.

Personally, I view Jinx as having two desires/objectives. she wants to feel loved and accepted and she wants revenge for the pain she has felt. She got both of those things from Silco to a degree, but not enough to meet her desires.

Silco loved her but didn't express it outwardly enough to meet Jinxs needs. She wanted the kind of love she got from Vi. the cuddles, gentle caresses on the cheeks, hugs, etc. She wanted someone to share experiences with. Silco did give her the touches every now and then. But rarely was he an instigator, like in the river baptism scene, and more often she was the one to move into physical closeness with him. Also, with Silco, they weren't doing missions and things together, she was doing them for him. So this also created a separation in their relationship that didn't meet the high standard she set with Vi as its example.

the next objective is revenge. While Silco was the immediate trigger to the death of Vander, this was all birthed from the cruelty of Piltover. Law enforcement forced her family's hand with their aggressive searches. And the only reason the law had a reason to be looking for thieves is because Piltover puts Zaunites in such a poverished position. Jinx is smart. I think a lot of her 'crazy' is an act to intimidate her foes and allies alike. she is taking a page from Silcos book 'be what they fear Jinx' and some unpredictable psycho is terrifying. I think Jinx is smart enough to have realized that, like her, Silco is the product of someone who got fucked over by Piltover and she doesn't put as much blame on him for what happened because of it. I think she sees him as a victim of circumstance, much like herself. This makes it easy for her to blame all of her problems on Piltover and target them with her distruction. But again, Silco doesn't meet this need entirely. His moves against Piltover are calculated and moving towards a goal. Jinxs goal is just to make them suffer, so she feels restrained by Silcos leadership. Thus her frustration when he tells her to take a break.

So, why not go for a fix? because at a certain point, when you are broken that badly, a fix will never come. your past will always haunt you. your experiences will always taint your perception of the world. Jinx knows there is no returning to a naive and innocent life. So instead, she wants to get vengeance on the people who made her life a living hell because she needs that outlet for her rage and pain. And she wants comfort and love to be the bandaid on said pain when she isnt acting out on it.

I also think there is a bit of a 'dancing with death' in there. I don't think Jinx values her own life. I think she uses things like bombs and goes above and beyond with her violence sorta as a cry for help. Hoping she pushes it so far that someone will end her, or a bomb will catch her, or she will be captured and get death penalty. I also think this is why she can be so casual and playful with the destruction. cuz its just a game to her. she doesn't care about deadly outcomes. in fact, the higher the risk, the more she wants to do it.

thats my interpretion at least.. again, I come from my own place of pain and trauma so its entirely possible that my tainted view of things is influencing how I perceive her. >.<

Relationships and Jinx fixing Jinx

Carry on from the conversation with @korra-oh and @ametan

You know, as I read this my first gut reaction was to go “I wonder if Jinx really believes this”. Again, we the audience (I hope) all know that Vi isn’t at fault. Not morally (blablabla, she couldn’t have forseen, it was just a moment of weakness, she was just a child), but also not practically (Powder had hallucinations even before Episode 3, Powder was super emotionally dependent on Vi even before episode 3, Powder was fantasizing/dreaming about Jinx even before Episode 3 if you accept the Enemy music video as canon).

Like if seems so obvious to me that Vi is not at fault, like my first thought was “could she be lying?” like could she be trying to guilt Vi because she wants Vi to pick her and she is insecure? I tend to lean heavily towards no/unlikely, but it led me to wonder, what that looks like within Jinx.

Like are these shades of Silco? Shades of Silco always expressing open resentment of Vi and Silco being deeply hung up on Vander and what happened between then. And even though Jinx says/signals she didn’t fully buy into Silco’s stories, maybe she couldn’t completely have his resentment, his blame bleed into he rafter all? Did Silco think that Vander “made him”?

Like, could we end up with Jinx doing an echo of that scene, where she goes “no, no, Vi, you misunderstand, you made Jinx, but for that I thank you, old friend”.

Or when Jinx says that Vi made Jinx, is it more like what she speaks about here

that she feels Vi like an echo inside as Jinx. That’s why she “credits” Vi.

If you look at the scene, even as Jinx is giving Vi credit, Vi thinks she is talking about leaving her, but Jinx actually denies that.

So I think even Jinx doesn’t think Vi’s actions at the end of Act 3 are “at fault” for Jinx. Yes the show parallels Vander&Silco and Vi&Jinx in that moment, and Silco is the one who credits (probably wrongly as well…) one single transformative moment for his life, but Jinx clearly sees a difference between him and her when she says this in a highly disapproving voice.

Maybe Jinx is a survival mechanism in a cruel world and the memory of Vi is a main thing that kept her going, so she is giving credit, not blame. And the underlying idea it’s tragic that Vi doesn’t want what she “made”/”helped create”, even if that thing might feel important and true to Jinx.

Ultimately, I think it makes a lot of sense that Jinx *wants* to say Silco didn’t make her. And I think that there is value to thinking that maybe he didn’t really influence the form/shape of Jinx that much.

But I think it’s pretty clear that at the very least he created the biotope, the conditions for Jinx to be made. Like, he provided the soil and the water and the light for Jinx to grow into her shape relatively unimpeded.

Like I can imagine a world where the shape of Jinx existed somewhere in Powder’s mind already and she eventually would have a developed a taste of violence and anarchy and possessiveness anyway, but Vi likely would have fought her every step on the way (and I fully believe that the sisters might have argued and butted heads about it), she would have received a ton of push back which likely would have influenced the shape of Jinx.

Similarly, there might be all the ways Silco’s personality might have rubbed off on her in ways she doesn’t realize or doesn’t want to think about. ie his paranoia, his ideas about power, his way of seeing people and dealing with them

I think this is ultimately going to be the interesting question about Jinx. What parts of herself does she want to fix? What kind of Jinx does she want to build? What does that look like.

Up to now, for example, most of her actions have been in service of Silco’s ideology. Will she carry on with that after that one big act of revenge/lashing out?

Because I tend to read their ideologies as actually quite different even if Jinx were to carry on with a violent, anti-Piltover streak. Silco to me reads more like nationalism, at the very least his approach, even if he is harmful to the community is still more community oriented. While Jinx’s ideology strikes me as pure anarchy.

Ultimately: I feel like the “responsibility” to fix things is kind of a dead end. I think it’s more who has the *motivation* to fix things.

Like, usually the situation presented is “there is this person who is really hot and I want to have sex with them/have a relationship with them, but they have negative trait X, Y, Z”. And you weigh the benefit (getting to be with the hot person) versus the effort to “fix” X, Y, Z. And if it’s actually really unlikely that X,Y or Z will change then the effort is by definition infinite.

Trying to fix people for relationships is generally frowned upon, maybe because it’s a poor motivator and also because the person in the relationship isn’t really well-equipped to do any fixing.

But that doesn’t change that the interesting part is “who wants to fix something and why”.

Like, if the state has a motivation “I want Jinx to no longer commit crimes”, then they have an interest in fixing their problems. And they can fix it with killing her/locking her up/trying to cure her from her violent tendencies.

Similarly Vi can be motivated by things like “want a sisterly relationship with her again” or “want to assuage my guilt”. And again we go to weighing the effort of fixing things and the efficacy of solving the original problem.

But of, naturally the most interesting person is Jinx. What would she want to change and why? What would be her motivations? “I want a sisterly relationship with Vi again”, “I don’t want to be lonely”, “I don’t want to be in pain”. “I hate feeling weak”, “I don’t want people to be scared of me”, “I want people to be scared of me”.

Basically, what motivation is important t to her would inform what parts of herself she would even want to fix.

I think that is the core of “fixing oneself”, figuring out what you dislike, ie “I’m poor” or “I want a relationship” or “I’m bored” and then looking what can be done about it and what would have to change to make that better and how much effort it would be.

Ouch, ouch, you had to bring real life into it. Okay, here it goes, I often talk a big game like “blabla, well obviously the character should do that and they should establish boundaries and find themselves and build a respectful relationship”, but though a lot of these things are neat sounding concepts, it should be noted that this isn’t necessarily how the world and relationships work.

Like respect and independence are important and valuable concepts, but there is totally a thing as too much of it.

I think structurally, I’m probably much more of a “Mel” than a “Jinx. But there is plenty of situations where there is value in not being clinical about relationships, in opening up, in forgiving, in letting things slide. Because interpersonal relationships are about compromises, they aren’t clinical equations with 100% highly fixed ways of right and wrong. Society sometimes pretends that there is and while there are certainly a lot of things that are more bad things/bad ideas than others, usually there is a lot of middle ground and gray area in real life and sometimes that is necessary for relationships to even exist and it’s good and valuable that relationships exist. And just blindly following blue prints of “well this is wrong so you shouldn’t do it” and “well this is a red flag” can cut one off from a lot of potentially valuable things as well.

Very “the perfect is the enemy of the good”.

So just because the book and the blue print says “this is wrong, so just stop doing it”, it’s not always as easy as that and it can backfire in various ways (”It’s bad, I need to stop doing it, I can’t stop doing it, so I’m a failure and should just never leave the house” or “This thing could be potentially be kind of like that thing that I should stop doing, so I’m not doing it and end not doing anything”).

Again there is a ton of value in pointing out problems and negative patterns and red flags, but real life is also … complicated and messy and with gray areas that we need to learn to navigate or else we close us off.

I think coping mechanism are an extremely interesting topic for Jinx in particular. Because again, with the whole “life is messy and imperfect” coping mechanisms are one of those things, they are a good thing if they are necessary, but they can be a bad thing if they prevent a person for addressing the root problem.

Which kind of means that they are bad thing if the root causes are fixable and a good thing if they are unfixable I guess?

We know from game Jinx that she talks to inanimate objects,

we have her interacting with robots in the get Jinxed video,

we have her potentially bonding with a Yordle in the Jinx comic.

So the interesting question of Jinx is: What does Jinx want?

Like, is she lonely after Silco dies and she is at odds with Vi? Is that something she would want to fix, are her problems and fears something that prevents her from connecting with others?

Is her interacting with inanimate objects like robots and weapons a coping mechanism to feel less lonely? And if it is too effective, does that run into danger of her being okay that being her primary interactions because real people are too complicated/messy/painful?

And of course the underlying question: can that ever be a legit choice? Like how it can be a debate whether something is wrong with a person if they don’t want children or don’t want a big noisy birthday party?

Can people genuinely be happy with that or do you suspect that they must really be having a big noisy birthday party they are just pretending they don’t because they are scared? And I that ultimately depends on the indivual person whether you believe that they really want what they want. Like are they really okay with being alone or are they just trying to avoid pain? Or even does this person genuinely sadistically enjoy inflicing pain or are they just trying to mask their own?

And of course, on the topic of “who wants to fix what and why” there is two angles.

What does Jinx want in a perfect world where only her needs matter versus what do other people want.

Like Jinx’s hypothetical desire for chaos versus the desire of people not to get blown up.

And what actions can they/the non perfect world take to impede on Jinx and make it unfun/less desirable/harder for her to blow things up.

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isolated-bug · 2 years

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Some really interesting insights here!

I have complicated feelings towards all of this. I totally agree with both that Jinx needs to stop expecting her validation to come from others and that growing apart from people and needing to be self reliant is better for her in some ways.

and it is completely unfair to lay the blame of her traumas and who she is on Vi even if there is some amount of truth in "how you treated me hurt me and my response to that hurt was part of the foundation of who i am now"

but I myself also struggle with this particular issue of a lack of self worth and needing external validation born of traumas from individuals and environment. Having the ability to value and validate yourself is a LOT harder than it sounds when you are broken down to this degree and often feels impossible. And its an easy thing to disregard because as long as the validation comes, there isn't anything needing to be addressed. its when the validation stops that you are able to recognize how self destructive this mindset can be.

I even wonder if part of Jinxs beahvior is a coping mechanism; not just for killing her family. i feel like even moving to all of her other actions, if Jinx can divert the blame, she can try and mentally distance herself from the responsibility of her actions. So blaming others for who she is helps accomplish waiving accountability.

either way, bottom line is that, yes, jinx is fucked up and has gone through a lot and there are MANY contributing factors to the outcome of who she is as a person. including *herself*.

Jinx and Other People’s Responsibility

Full disclosure: I’ve had two glasses of wine so please forgive any narrative misgivings on this journey here

I know we all want Jinx to like, be happy, have therapy, feel loved, and all that good stuff–but what I *really* need from season 2 is for Jinx and the people around Jinx *cough* Vi *cough* to stop holding Jinx’s ability to change as someone else’s responsibility.

Jinx is a victim of personal circumstances and oppressive systems. Yes.

Jinx is almost as much a product of her circumstances as a product of who she is; an even split of nature vs nurture where no one is sure which side of the vs. lit the first match. Yes.

Jinx was repeatedly harmed by those who loved her and left without support. Yes.

But–and this is a lesson I think I need to rant on because it’s so true to real life–individuals *cannot* save other individuals. Especially from themselves. It is no one’s job to “fix” Jinx. It’s not even in another person’s capability to “fix” Jinx. Only Jinx can fix Jinx.

Actually, it reminds me of that Steven Universe song:

I don’t need you to accept me, I accept me.

I don’t need you love me, I love me.

But I want you to know you can know me. If you change your mind. If you change your mind. Change your mind.

I have no doubt we’re about to watch Vi fumble around through more grief and guilt, but the truth is that, even in season 1, Vi, as an outside person, is completely incapable of getting Jinx to change–only Jinx can change Jinx. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” The only actual way to help someone like Jinx, the utmost an individual who is not Jinx can do to get Jinx to fix Jinx, is to hold space and offer support as Jinx asks for it (y’know, the therapy and healthy relationship-building stuff I don’t think we’d ever see in an action show).

I think I need to wine-rant on this because of that damn line. “But silco didn’t make Jinx, you did.” Because it’s not gd true, Powder’s memory of Vi might have been her tool in shaping Jinx, but no one individual made Jinx but Jinx (again, not lifting blame from her circumstances and environment, but to lay the full blame at another character’s feet is just irresponsible to that character).

And I think the tragedy in the trauma of her inability to be responsible for her actions is a huge part of her core struggle with her mental health–when we see her freak out over the hextech gem2.0 she runs away whimpering about how “it was a mistake.”

It’s what makes her story so heartwrenching (for me), is that the one thing she needs, a sense of agency, is the one thing she cannot allow herself. Which is a big part of why she pins her validation on others.

(needing Vi to tell her she’s ready, needing Silco to see her strong/valuable, etc)

Idk what point I need to drive home to feel fulfilled with this rant, except maybe that I want the fandom to not apply Jinx’s logic to their own lives? We all have agency (not over everything, but we all have it) and our willingness to hold ourselves responsible and accountable to that agency can be the difference between chronically victimizing ourselves versus being the strong-protagonist of our own story.

Idk. Hug your pets. Have some wine, like me. Don’t try be someone else’s savior–the only person we’re actually able to save in any traditional hero-context is ourselves.

#jinx #she be pretty fucked up fam #but i love my broken bean anyhow #arcane

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