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#but at least he actually did something bad?? he has my full support bc it should be clear he's going through internal conflict
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they were so explicit with lucas' motives to try to become popular but people still took it and put it against him 🥴🥴
#yeah sure it must be bc he's an awful character#not bc of racism or whatever 🥴#no bc ive seen people saying he's been the worst in every season????#lucas literally didn't do anything but support his friends and have a crush in s1-2???????#he was rightfully suspicious of el in s1 you dont find an unknown girl with mind powers and is immediately okay with it????#and s3 lucas was just being a teenage boy#he never once stop supporting his friends he's always been a good kid and he didn't do anything bad#and s4 lucas was CLEAR on his motives to join the basketball team#lucas always supported the others this was the one time he was asking for the support back#people have a stick so up their asses they don't realize they swap the roles of the core four depending on the season#s1 lucas was suspicious of el mike kept insisting on her in the group#s2 mike was suspicious of max lucas kept insisting on her in the group#s3 will wanted to play dnd lucas and mike had other activities in mind#s4 lucas wanted to focus on basketball mike and dustin had other activities in mind#i cant think of one with dustin but these ones always stood out to me#lucas and mike are always paralleling each other#and yeah mike gets a shit ton of hate for the way he acted on s3 ((which still is bad bc it's most likely due to internalized homophobia#but at least he actually did something bad?? he has my full support bc it should be clear he's going through internal conflict#but to the general audience he acted like and asshole#what did lucas do????#he joined the basketball team to stop the bullying with him AND his friends#the first chance he got he tried to warn dustin jason was after him#and as soon as he could he gave them fake intel and ran away back to his friends#like they were so clear of why lucas was acting this way this season and people still fucking refuse to see#the group has conflicts between them every damn season it doesn't mean that they're less friends it just means they're going through smth#stop pissing me off#stranger things#lucas sinclair
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jakowskis · 30 days
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Day 23 - Discuss Tosh. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?
tosh my babygirl my princess light of my life angel darling… shes so good. shes so good 🥺 i love her dearly. she’s so damn underutilized i hate how the show regulates her to a supporting role + only uses her for romantic plots. WACK shes so much more than that. i want a plotline about her cyberterrorism like hello??? i want a plotline about her warped little mind.. i want a plotline about her finally learning spanish ;-; that show did not do her justice and it did not deserve her. i often say torchwood’s characters are too good for the show; tosh is probs the best example of that. no other character gets screwed over as badly as she does by the narrative (not even ianto!) she’s so tragic and lonely i just wanna give her the biggest hug ever. 
fav moment… every time she smiles. (or smirks. hrgh. tosh call me.) also every time she geeks out about smth. im tryna think of a specific moment but idk if i have one?? i just love her overall i smile every time she’s on screen she’s my girlie. when i rewatch i might rmr one though
least favorite moment, the absolute only thing i can think of (hell, my only complaint with her as a character other than i wish she’d get over owen cuz bad taste queen pls u deserve sm better) - it’s always bothered me how she goes over to owen’s flat in aditd and just starts babbling about her own problems. she even says something like “you think everything’s about you”, and in that ep it’s like ??? why are they all acting like he’s unjustified being miserable and angry when he's fucking dead?? like they're all so unsympathetic and mean, even tosh, and out of her it's especially weird?? tbh it just strikes me as ooc (+ kind of misogynistic highkey) writing. i mean, by all means, let tosh bitch, she deserves to blow off some steam + esp deserves to be rude to owen tbh fhsdkjfsd, but the way it’s done in that particular moment feels ooc and, like, how men write women as talking too much and never listening lmao u kno what i mean (owen’s tuned out in the actual episode but you can see her full ramble in the original script, on page 23). tosh has never troubled anyone with her issues before, why would she choose now to, and when she knows owen’s struggling? yeah, on second thought, i don’t hold that against her actually, that’s ooc to me fhdkf. thts just the writer being a wiener.
my only unpopular opinions (slash hot takes) are that 1) towen fucking SUCKS get her away from him, and 2) most people like tosh but she’s highkey underappreciated, esp in fanfic, because of fandom racism + misogyny. she’s not bashed like gwen is but she’s ignored completely which is nearly as bad, and a lot of it’s cuz she happens to be in a show with two white men in a gay relationship who are overwhelmingly prioritized 💀 i will never not be petty about the way that ship dwarfs everything else in comparison. also throwing towen into the background of janto is so gross n cheap. if ppl cared abt her they'd do smth more interesting. and it's never well-done either. ugh.
i have a few hcs that are gonna end up in my owento verse (gwen and tosh are prominent characters in it bc i love them, and their relationships w owen and ianto and each other also have value lawl). tbh a lot of em are just things i think they should introduce into their lives to be happier. i want them happy ;-;
she starts coding video games recreationally!! nothing fancy but she rlly enjoys it + also gets into the swing of making little storylines n getting to express herself that way which is good for her. owen playtests shit for her
her and gwen go on spa dates sometimes. they put it on the torchwood credit card
she gets into fish tanks and fish tank care!!! esp like aquarium plants. shrimp and moss balls, that sort of thing. maybe plecos or loaches. she loves it + it’s grounding, which is good for her bc shes otherwise always got her head in her computers yanno. she’ll sit by her tank while she codes her games and the water sounds are calming. 
she also sits by it while she studies her spanish books which she does finally do. she doesn’t get around to the piano, though; doesn’t prioritize buying a keyboard. maybe one day (this is a nobody dies au btw so she will in fact eventually get around to it ;-;)
oh she’s autistic have i said that. the fish tanks absolutely become a spin. she has a few we know of from canon - math and computers, obviously, but also history (gbg) and the uk’s rivers (from gooseberry; i think it was just the uk maybe it was europe’s rivers. or the world’s! i don’t remember). she also loves trivia like she knows a fair amount about quite a lot of things + loves accumulating random info
lowkey also. giving her a kitty. i think tosh should have a lil fuzzy kitty to keep her company 
well this is smth from my owandy verse but i think it should happen anyway. so it kind of kicks off bc gwen mixes up a blind date (it was gonna be tosh & andy and then owen & a friend of hers, but shes an adhd icon n bungles the invites <3)... tosh ends up with gwen’s friend, who’s straight, but they hit it off and she invites tosh to have drinks or maybe come to a bookclub meet or something with some friends of hers?? point is, tosh makes some casual friends. maybe meets a pretty girl there or smth 👁️ but mainly i want tosh to have girl friends like i think she grew up very lonely i want her to have some normalcy
also sometimes i like tosh x andy maybe they have a little meet cute at a torchwood crime scene or smth fshdkfd. i think they’d be cute and he’d treat her well. she'd babble abt tech stuff and he wouldnt understand a damn word but he'd listen very intently
i also like tosh x ianto for similar reasons. i think it’d be a kind of friends to lovers sitch... they should just be close in general tbh, platonically or not yanno, and in my owandy verse i like the idea of smth kicking off between them i just think theyd be so sweet
she’s a very sleepy drunk and also a lightweight. if the team goes out to drink she’ll get two glasses of smth moderately fruity and then fall asleep against someone’s shoulder it’s very cute (this is just cuz i like the idea of a sleepy tosh 🥺 my baby my baby shes so precious to meee)
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krushkreates · 2 years
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some post-inversion david x angel bc i like hurting and making yall hurt with me
tw/cw: post inversion, mental breakdown, ptsd, anxiety, night terrors- it’s a wild and long ride for this one.
INVERSION AND POST-INVERSION SPOILERS
angels been david’s pillar after the inversion. and honestly? i felt that. anyways, since david’s got a small security job, angel has the house to themselves for the day. it’s quiet. they’ve taken a nap, done laundry, cleaned, even made some food. they get a phone call from their best friend. it’s all fine and dandy. they know david’s been involved in an attack (or the inversion if they’re an empowered person) and that it’s been a rough time to say the least. they both go silent for a moment before they ask “angel, how are you actually doing?” and the floodgates open. angel confesses through these heaving sobs that they don’t sleep at night because david wakes up. sometimes he’s screaming, sometimes he’s half-shifted. sometimes he’s thrashing and growling. then the crying hits for hours and the suns up by then so there’s no point in going back to sleep because angel has work in an hour. they take a nap on their “lunch” that’s really maybe 15 minutes long so they’ve got 5 minutes to shovel in something so they don’t pass out. if they’re lucky they sleep in the car for 30 minutes once a week. their phone is always on the charge because they’re so scared they’ll get that call again that somethings happened and won’t know if he’s okay or god forbid even alive. the only times they really fully shower now are when he does because he doesn’t feel safe being alone and he’s usually needing to be under warm water. the therapist said it’s a good way of feeling safe so that’s what they do. angel doesn’t remember the last time their muscles fully relaxed or their head wasn’t hurting or part of their shirt wasn’t wet from tears. through all of this, they never once blame david. but they’re so tired and angels curled into themselves, shoulders shaking and eyes watering.
it’s so hard to be someone’s support when you yourself feel like you’re crumbling but what good is it to complain when you weren’t in the ward? you weren’t in there so your needs don’t matter? the front door opened about 10 minutes ago and while every fiber of david’s being is screaming at him to go comfort his mate, he stays, partially hidden by the wall that separates the front door and hallway from the kitchen. it’s a rare moment to hear angel genuinely express what’s been on their mind about all of this. he’s told them time and time again that his trauma doesnt mean they weren’t affected. now angels apologizing to the other person on the line but it’s just so damn hard because “i don’t remember the last time i got a full nights sleep or actually let myself cry and i don’t remember to take my fucking meds anymore because i have to make sure he does because i’m so scared that i’m gonna lose him to the aftermath.” it’s silent in the house and angels wiping their tears and apologizing again and shakily laughs at something the other person said. i’ll be alright, they reassure them. i love you and i’ll talk to you soon okay?
he takes that as his cue to start walking but all he can think of is how hurt they are. he takes a glance at their wide and bloodshot eyes and finally notices how dark the rings are and when did they lose that much weight and they’ve put the mask back on, asking him about his day and how the job went. he holds them so tight and apologies fall so fast out of his mouth and now they’re crying again and he’s fighting back tears but the therapist said that holding in emotions is bad so now they’re both crying on the kitchen floor. he’s hurting and they’re hurting and he’s hurting because they’re hurting for him. they know angel’s prone to anxiety but when you’re fighting for your life in your mind, you get tunnel vision. he notes that they never once blamed him. no accusatory fingers, no clipped tones of vehemence, no sagging shoulders when he asks them to come back to bed for a minute, no dry attitude if he comes home from the office early in tears. no stiff shoulders when he’s hugging them. none of that. always warm, soft, and caring. healing.
the kitchen tile is cold through his jeans and angel’s gripping his shirt the way he did the first month after. how animalistic emotions make a person. he’s sorry and they’re sorry and while wounds don’t heal proportionally to time, they heal eventually. they always do
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pics-and-fanfics · 4 months
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I'm sorry. I had a bad day and took offense to something you said. I didn't mean to actually hurt you, I just wanted to take out my anger on you and I guess make you feel angry too? That's why i sent that ask.
I'm 16 and I'm just having a really hard time in school and I'm scared of senior year and I was hurt really bad recently. I hope you can forgive me and forget about what I said. I'm just some dumb teenager who forgets how powerful words are I guess. I'm so sorry girl or nb or w/e you prefer. I hope you feel better by now, life is amazing and I hope you surround yourself with people who make you happy. Please go over this with your therapist.
I'm really sorry. I'll be more thoughtful next time i send people ask. I'll try and be a better person
Understandable, everyone has bad days, but maybe a better way to let out that anger would be to write it down and then rip it up or destroy it? Idk, I just isolate myself and hug my stuffed animals until I feel better tbh.
And yeah, I did get upset, but I wasn’t mad, I was just a little taken aback, maybe hurt? I get that school is hard, I’m still in high school too (it fucking sucks ass, I feel you there) and I’m terrified about the future. But I’ve got my friends and family and an awesome support system, in person and online, maybe find people that can be that for you, and vise versa?
Don’t call yourself dumb, that leads down a very dark hole that’s hard to climb out of and it forms into a very very bad habit, trust me. I’m working on that myself, but like everything, esp bad habits, it takes time and effort to fix. I still say stuff like “I’m so dumb” a bit too often, but I’m working on saying “no I’m not, I’m smart, I’m just having trouble” afterwards.
And yeah, words hurt. I’ve learned that the hard way, driving away people that I didn’t learn to appreciate until later, but I can’t apologize bc I have no idea where or even who they are now. Friends, strangers, even my niece (I’m working on not doing that with her tho, I love the little kid, she’s so awesome and smart and kind, at least when she doesn’t have her moms shitty attitude).
And I can forgive, but I will not forget. Kinda like the quote “The lumberjack forgets the pain he causes, but the tree always remembers.” I’m working on that too, trying to forgive others. I’m working on a lot about myself lately, I’m just realizing. I still hold grudges, esp against the person who sent the ask last year telling me to kill myself, but I don’t know if I have or haven’t forgiven them. I don’t know if I have or haven’t forgiven an old friend after what she pulled at my birthday 2 years ago, and I don’t know if I can. There are some things that can’t be forgiven, but this is so small, but it hurts so much still.
I forgive you, and I hope you have some better days coming, honestly.
If you want, you can keep sending asks when you have a bad day? They can stay anonymous, and I can try to help, if that’s okay with you. I can be part of your support system, if you want.
I’m working on a lot of things, and I hope maybe this can help you start working a little to be happier, less full of anger all the time?
But please, be kind to yourself, and if you can’t always be kind to others, then try to find a way to avoid them or ignore them. (I don’t know if I can do that with the boys in my math class tho, they are so loud and I got basically punched in the arm by one of them today, it hurt)
I love you, anon. Please be kind to yourself, and I’m here if you need to talk again. ❤️
You are enough. I love you.
(Also sorry I took forever to respond to your ask, but I saw this right before class, and then school basically drained all of my energy 😭 and then I had a shit load of homework I had to do, at least I get out for break tmrw thank god)
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ssaalexblake · 10 months
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I know nobody cares abt Sam in snw but i find it hard Not to for ~personal reasons, bc I have this friend whose brother is uh, smart. Not “tumblr gifted” or the like, I mean Really fucking smart and his goals in life all perfectly aligned with what their dad wanted him to do and he can literally do no wrong, proud of him to the ends of the earth sun shines out of his ass bullshit. This isn’t a slam against him bc he’s a Really nice dude and knows full well what their dad is like and used the ‘can’t do wrong’ thing to support my friend, and did this even when he was a 16yo boy, so it’s hard to hold it against him. The siblings have a good relationship Because he’s aware the discrepancy for how they’re treated is so widely gaping and that it’s not because he’s so GR8, it’s bc their dad is an asshole. 
But like, my friend is super smart Too. Not Brilliant at math but by no means bad at it either but according to the dad she’s gotta be a math genius. But her talents are in the wrong Kind of places for their dad. She’s a brilliant artist, and biology is her preferred science field, and she was interested in archaeology and had the nerve to find a career that melds those things together. She’s also successful at it, is doing well.
Still ain’t good enough for Mr. Asshole though (I really hate this man, he’s such a rude prick. I had a dream as a teenager and it was to get to tell him to fuck off bc i hated him in general and was sick of having to comfort my friend if he made her cry bc she shouldn’t have been crying to start with!!! I had to have Words with my parents abt how they spoke to him because them assuming he’d be a decent parent got Her the silent treatment at home once because they had the nerve to complement her artistic skills to his face and it put him in a snit). 
and lol, j. kirk has NO clue what’s happening here and it’s not putting him in my good books, especially since Sam is actually Trying to fix some of the fucked up dynamics that their dad apparently installed in them to at least attempt be a decent brother, Jim is like ‘well change what you’re doing it’s not too late!’ like dude get your head out of thine ass, he’s Doing what he wants to and is obviously pretty good at it if he’s on the flagship of the fleet. A couple of jim’s lines i could have smacked him upside the head for. And it rubbed me the wrong way that Jim was validated narratively by being backed up by Spock. 
i want the writers’ sibling dynamics emailed to me stat so i can tell if this is going to improve or be something that annoys me the entire time for the tone deaf takes. I figure it’s 50/50 either way right now. 
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golbrocklovely · 2 years
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I was checking an oldish tag on here and saw some of your old asks about Stas where people told you everything she was doing, full transparency and you defended her like no other. Everything they spoke about came to light and we are now or have been seeing since Europe everything and more that people mentioned . So im curious (maybe you’ve said before but i didnt see it) what made you change your stance and open your eyes to her odd behavior especially towards Colby? The asks were pretty blunt and straight forward and you still found a way to curve every answer.
I checked the tag btw because i noticed today that not only did she promote Katrina on twitter, but made a tiktok to her song, told people shes her biggest fan, and has been liking a bunch of C4 edits and pics. I remembered seeing asks talking about her never supporting Kat only Colby so after seeing that i came back here to try and find what else those asks said and saw everything everyone has been saying is pretty legit.
i did say a while back why my feelings changed for stas, but i'll just state them again i guess lol
also holy shit this is long sorry about that lmao
so, originally, when ppl would come to me saying why they didn't like stas, to me it didn't feel like it was a legitimate reason. and i felt that way bc they would come on here, talk about her, but give no proof to their claims. just say that "oh i heard this" or "i think she did this" or "did you see she did this" and to me, none of it was enough proof to throw her off the island, so to speak. i mean, some anons talked about her liking edits as proof enough that she was shady or up to no good. ppl would use her likes on twitter as main example of "see! look how bad she is" and the tweet in question was either not there (bc she probs unliked it) when i would go looking for it or if it was about colby and her… it was harmless and not something like "colby and her should be together. they have something going on".
also, no offense to anyone that sent me asks in during that time period, but i don't exactly have the most faith in the fandom towards ppl outwardly hating on a girl bc she's close to colby. it's happen countless times. the amount of times i've been told that the reason a girl that colby's friends with or hooking up with or JUST STANDING NEAR is bad bc "she just gives me bad vibes"… let's just say, if i had a nickle, i'd be a rich woman. so when it started happening with her, i didn't think much of it. thought of it as jealousy or just over-protective fans.
but things started to change a bit, i would say, by summer. i think after one too many trips to vegas, my liking for her was dwindling. idk if she did something or what (bc at this point i don't remember), but the vibe changed around her and what she was doing. at least to me. not to mention, no matter what she did, it was drama. and that itself was exhausting.
then colby made that tiktok with her. and when he started deleting comments shipping the two of them together, that's when i knew oh, he really doesn't want to be shipped with her and i thought this was him actually laying down the law and finally putting his foot down to all the shipping that goes on between him and stas.
then europe happened. and i fucking KNEW this trip wasn't gonna end well. i felt it in my bones. or maybe i'm just really good at picking up patterns lol
what first started to gross me out, was finding out about her mom posting things. and look, i'm all for a supportive mother. and tbh idk if her mom ever responded to fans. but what concerned me was how much info she was sharing publicly. and then how many fans were searching for her mom, finding her page, and basically narrowing down where they were in brussels and all that. snc have been stalked before, have had their house broken into before, what they DO NOT NEED is someone with them basically giving their every location just bc those fans are subscribers.... or random ppl on her mom's facebook.
that's when i also noticed that her roommate was at least cognizant of fandom drama that had happened not too long ago bc she liked a tweet about it while it was happening. that turned me off quite a bit as well. and i know a lot of ppl bring up stas posting the video from colby's bedroom and honestly…. ngl that flew under my radar. it just didn't feel like anything to me at the time.
and then finally: tomorrowland. the amount of fans that upticked their talks of colby and stas when they were basically forced to hang out with one another the whole time bc kat and sam wanted their own time away (which is fine, don't get me wrong. but it just really didn't help the already existing issue of colby and stas being shipped) was super fucking annoying. i basically was getting upwards of 10 asks a day, and that's a light guesstimate, about the situation. and while i don't mind talking about something…. i don't want to talk about it that much.
then, the malishka thing happened. i literally ignored it on here bc i just couldn't talk about it. at first, i was angry at colby. like why would he post this this is so stupid. but as time has gone on, i've basically come to the lovely realization that stas is the one that posted it (also, according to some whispers i've heard she basically told her subs that she did. idk tho that's alleged). realistically, colby doesn't understand russian. he probably filmed her, showed her the video, and she typed that and posted it. she also had earlier post the pic on his story of her face zoomed in. at least, that's what i personally believe. and when asked what malishka meant, she probably lied or just didn't tell him bc he probably didn't rewatch his story.
bc something to note is that they had terrible wifi in tomorrowland. so he might not have even known about this whole thing until a day later or so.
and what made all of it worst was the fans' reaction on twitter. and the fact that a lot of the fans that came out and congratulated colby and stas for "finally being together" after "all this time of us knowing" were both ppl i followed and ppl my age……….. i basically was about done with the situation. and then of course she had to like a tweet about the malishka thing. and that solidified it for me.
and if THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, they came home from the trip and colby hung out with her one more time right before moving to vegas. he literally told us on xplrclub that he was gonna be THIRDWHEELING in vegas (aka laying it on AS THICK AS HE COULD that he was single), and that fucking night stas told her subs that she was going on a date. and wouldn't you believe it, but it was her and colby hanging out ! along with others, but no one saw them on her story. just her and colby.
after that, colby mentioned multiple times about being single, being young, and wanting to have fun while in vegas. and i think that's when the tides personally turned for stas. she had fun playing house with colby in europe, she had her fun of living the fantasy of what it would be like to be colby's gf, to be Y/N. but reality set in when they came home. i think the last night they hung out, i think she confessed how she felt, and he rejected her. and look, she has every right to be upset about being rejected. i get being rejected, especially by someone you feel you have a connection to, SUCKS ASS. i'm not denying that. however, you caused your own delusions. colby was literally hooking up with six flags girl multiple times this past year, LITERALLY BROUGHT HER TO A HANG OUT SESSION WITH THE CORE FOUR, …..and you think he was into you???? the same man that deleted comments about the two of you together????????? the same man that FOR YEARS has begged the fandom to stop shipping him with every girl he's friends with??????? that man… was into you?
i mean, he went on a (assumed) date with a girl in vegas and stas tweeted like four things that night about being hurt or whatever (idk at this point i don't remember all the details) and then on top of that deleted said tweets. maybe something happened between them. i doubt it wholeheartedly tho. i think she loved the fantasy of them being an item, but he wanted no parts of it.
bc that's the thing: colby loves to tease us sometimes. like with amber. he loves making the fans freak out. but when he does shit like that, he chose to be part of the game. this is the only time he asked not to be included…. and she did it anyway. i don't think he knew the extent of breadcrumbs she was leaving for fans to speculate. i think when he saw what happened with the malishka shit (bc again he probs didn't see it until a day or two later bc of wifi and just wanting to enjoy his vacation) i think stas left a soured taste in his mouth. and then she made it worst by telling fans that her and him were going on a date…. and that was enough for him to be done with her. that's why at kat's bday party he sat as far from her as possible and seemed to not want any parts of the party. and that's why she's talking about being rejected now. bc i personally think they are done being friends as of rn.
i mean… it would make sense too. bc the moment he was hurt by what stas did, who did he run back to after all this time? shea, the original stas lmao
and as for stas all of a sudden being up kat's ass, to be as bluntly honest as i can be, i do not fucking care. i've gotten a bunch of asks about it. i can't be more frank than literally telling yall i don't care. i'm tired of talking about stas. bc even tho i don't like her, and i do think she is a bit of a snake, not everything she does is newsworthy or needs to be talked about. she liked something that implied feelings for colby? who cares. she wrote a poem about him? who cares. she wants to leave comments about how much she loves kat? omg who cares. we all know at this point she wants attention.
STOP GIVING IT TO HER.
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abbyindenhaag · 4 days
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A quick note from Lisbon
Revisiting Lisbon for a work trip and wanted to share some impressions!
1. My taxi driver from the airport said that typically companies spend 1,500 euros per month on a worker’s wages but the worker only sees 800 euros because of taxes. I was shocked to find from Wikipedia that this is mostly true, and much lower than in the US: Portugal’s average gross salary is 1450/month and net salary is 1200/month, while in the US average gross salary is $5,400/month and net is $4,000/month. (We are ignoring exchange rates bc atm a dollar is about a euro.) I knew things were cheaper in Portugal but I didn’t realize average wages were 3x less! I do wonder about medians though. I also didn’t point out that Portugal had a national health system and, presumably, a lot of other social safety net benefits that would increase consumption if not income.
(Other notable things about the conversation were that the taxi driver advocated helping others as a personal belief system but also said there were too many immigrants taking jobs and housing in Portugal — I refrained from citing the economics literature finding that actually immigrants raise native earnings — and that the taxi driver complained both about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, but didn’t really agree with me that having a bigger difference between taxes on the rich and poor would fix it. I am not a development economist or a macroeconomist so I don’t necessarily think he is wrong on that point — but just noting.)
(Other notable taxi driver conversation was that my taxi driver *to* the airport -- Logan -- said he was from Tajikistan and won a diversity lottery to get a green card. I had forgotten that this program exists - it apparently awards up to 50k visas per year, which is like nothing, and has a 1/200 acceptance rate. The funny thing is that he won this lottery and then went straight to Springfield, MA, of all places, and was stuck there for the duration of Covid. Real out of the frying pan into the fire situation. His main complaint about Springfield was it was a bad place to be single, lol.)
2. When I walked out of my hotel after dropping off my bags, despite it being in a nice ish area my first 2 thoughts were: graffiti on walls. Smells like piss. Did I remember wrong?? But then once I got over the graffiti and moved to a less fragrant patch of sidewalk the “faded grandeur” of the city became more apparent. All the travel guides (well, Rick Steves and the NYT) had this same narrative of Lisbon being “where the crumbling remnants of a grand civilization sit side by side with the energy of the new growth” which felt rather stereotypical, and I actually peaced out of the Rick Steves audio tour because I wanted to see the city for myself rather than be told how to see it. But unfortunately,…. They were kind of right. Crumbly facades, broken-up sidewalks, new buildings, American-bougie brunch places… this place has it all, often right next to each other. I walked down a street (NYT-recommended, sigh) and it was like half antique stores full of probably junk and half expensive boutiques.
3. Speaking of which, I think for every hairdresser in Bergen there is an antique store in Lisbon. Who is buying this stuff?? The tourists certainly can’t take all of it home. <a moment of self-awareness descends from above. angels sing> oh. People who live here. Who don’t make a lot of money. As in point 1. Not everything is about you, Abigail!! Anyway it is nice to see things being reused instead of thrown out.
4. I saw at least 3 shops with a sign in the window saying they were on lunch break and would be back later. The American brain cannot comprehend this. What do you mean you haven’t hired someone to sell something at a time when people are around to buy it?!? (This is supporting evidence for my taxi driver’s statement that in Portugal people have different priorities than in the US, and they are just more relaxed. I have no stance on the matter, just reporting.)
5. Shops where I wanted to buy things but didn’t included a wool store with lots of beautiful merino blankets, and a ceramic store with lots of nice little bowls. Shops where I wanted to buy things and did were a pastry shop where I got a pasteis de nata (actually 2), and a strawberry cart in the real-people part of the city that was selling strawberries that smelled amazing for 4euros/kg. Unfortunately the two I ate ended up being overripe so I might not even eat any more but the joy of the purchase may still have been worth it.
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This falls into the category of “shops I didn’t want to buy anything at but am glad they exist.”
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Long snoots standing guard in antique shop #562.
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The window of the wool shop. Would that the window wool were wmine!
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The jacaranda are out and incredibly scenic!
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The facade of a museum of a beloved fado singer, which I did not visit. I might go on Saturday night to hear a performance, not sure. But the scooter in the foreground was too Lisbon-y to resist the shot.
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laughing-with-god · 3 years
Text
The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)
Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.
Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)
Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook
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Word Count; 5.4k
Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.
Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.
Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.
The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.
The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.
Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.
He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.
This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.
Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.
If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.
But there was only one problem with this scene.
That was your husband, Jungkook.
And that woman in his arms was not you.
As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.
Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.
“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.
“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.
Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”
Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”
You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.
“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.
You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.
His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.
It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.
Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.
Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.
You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.
“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.
A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.
Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.
Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.
“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.
You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.
“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.
You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”
Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”
She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.
“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”
“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.
“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.
Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.
“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.
“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”
The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”
Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.
Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.
The ball was finally in your court.
Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.
“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.
“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”
Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.
He didn’t even spare you a glance.
You wanted to be angry.
You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.
But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.
Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?
Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.
Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.
Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.
Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”
You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.
“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”
You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”
Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”
And there it was.
The big question.
Did you truly even care about this marriage?
Well, let’s look at the facts.
One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.
Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.
Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.
Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.
But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.
The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.
Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”
Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.
You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”
You didn’t say anything.
Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.
However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.
You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”
“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”
Jin nodded but seemed unsure.
You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.
Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.
Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.
Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.
To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?
It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.
Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.
Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.
To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.
Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.
You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.
Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.
“Did you see her?”
“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”
“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”
“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.
You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.
It was Sana.
“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”
“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”
“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”
“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”
Cruel laughter from all of them.
The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.
“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”
Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.
A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.
Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.
“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”
Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.
“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.
They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.
“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”
Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”
--
Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.
You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.
You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.
“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”
You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.
Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.
Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.
Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.
When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.
“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.
“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.
You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”
Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.
You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.
Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.
Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.
“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.
‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.
“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”
“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.
Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.
“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.
Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.
All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.
A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.
Should you expose your son to your future plan?
The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.
“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.
“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.
“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.
“Like a va-vayca-”
“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.
“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”
The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.
“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”
The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”
Your heart broke.
You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.
“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”
“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”
“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”
“Like spies?”
You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”
You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.
“Promise.”
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Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.
Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.
And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.  
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uncouth-the-fifth · 3 years
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imagine damian and the reader at the wayne gala. he gets jealous when he sees her flirting with someone else. he ends up pulling her into a bathroom and fucking her in front of a mirror while saying that other person can’t treat her like he does
and that’s how the reader finds out damian has feelings for her. all this time he acted like he hates her because he’s in denial
Title: More Than They Ever Said
Paring: Robin!Damian (18+) / Canary!Reader
Tags/Warnings: semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, bathroom sex, slight underage drinking (reader is like 20 lol), mentions of golf.
Word Count: 7150
Notes: sooooo.... this def evolved beyond a drabble lol. the way gala sex kills me every time 😭 I was a little mushy w Dami here bc I miss his sweet side. This also sounded a lot like goldenspecs12's request from Wattpad, so I hope you don't mind that I meshed the two together 😚 I leaned toward Damian liking the reader more than being in denial, but that’s the only thing I sacrificed between the two requests. This one is my fluffiest and most romantic yet 💖
"can I request Damian w a Queen reader, like she's Oliver and Dinah's child? say the reader is a hero but not very active, like she comes in when her parents can't. so when she and Damian meet, they hit it off. The main request is that they sneak away at a gala held by Oliver and the reader and Damian have sex."
Ask to be added to my taglist for future posts!
The party was more fun than you thought it would be.
Benefits were usually chalk-full of old, wealthy people that thought they made good conversationalists. The board members of Queen Industries were tired of Oliver trying to escape their claws, so you’d been recruited in his place. While your dad got to play minigolf in the penthouse’s massive party floor, you were confined to the lounge, playing up what an intelligent, capable business partner you’d be when you were CEO. Fellow businessmen gruffed about their plans with you while their wives cooed and drank, pinching your cheeks.
You thought that you’d hate it, but the attention and the praise was nice. It made you feel like you were helping your dad and your family’s company, which was constantly criticized and judged for it’s choice in CEO. Everyone called your father a lazy silver-spooned idiot, but he was one of the only men in Star City who actually cared. By the time you had Q.I’s biggest donors laughing out of their seats, Dinah’s hands slipped over your shoulders and you were kissed on the side of the face. Thank you, she mouthed, and your position as family support-beam was covered.
Since most of the benefit-goers were at least forty years your senior, you gravitated to your dad. From the penthouse’s upper balcony, you could see his friends circling around the tiny green mats they were using as a makeshift golf course. Usually, Ollie made sure his public persona’s aim was as garbage as his taste in drink was. But tonight, he played as Green Arrow, who never missed. Not once. Especially when it came to Bruce Wayne, who’s golf game was abysmal at best.
But like Oliver, Bruce was a new man tonight. It looked like he was ready to break out the batarangs any minute now. The two men were barely civil about the viciousness of their competition, and if the view of the game from the balcony was interesting, then from below it must’ve been the greatest show of fragile masculinity ever displayed. You had to make fun of them.
The only opening in the circle of men, who all had their hands on their chins as Bruce lined up his next shot, was by the floor-to-ceiling windows to one side of the game. Just one man stood there, hands in his pockets. You slid next to him, unbothered, and squinted at the game.
Everyone in the crowd was dead silent. Bruce was lining up his golf ball so it would roll into a mug a couple of feet away, so you helpfully provided, “A little to the left, Mr. Wayne.”
Your words overlapped with someone else’s. Where you had said Mr. Wayne, they had said Father. Then the man next to you was his son, but...
You would have never guessed it would be him.
Reasonably, you knew that Robin was Damian Wayne. Oliver could be a little loose-lipped at times, and by his judgment you’d been a teenager just a year ago - what could a twenty year old do to Batman’s secret identity? Not much.
Until you saw Robin without his mask.
Damian was achingly beautiful. He was your age, but he stood and talked like he was much older. There was an angle to his shoulder that made him seem astute and sexy. His eyes fixed on you when you spoke at the same time, and they were a surprising mossy color that jumped out against his tan skin, like plants flourishing out of rich soil. There was just enough blue in them to make him seem haunting. Any moment, you felt like he was going to corner you and whisper your future throatily in your ear.
Looking into them, those piercing eyes, for longer than a second made you want to blurt, “You’re much prettier without your mask.”
But that would expose his secret to every golf-loving idiot in earshot, so Oliver had been wrong. A twenty-year-old like you could do fatal damage to Batman’s secret identity, but for Damian, the short-tempered, snappish leader of the Teen Titans, you would risk anything.
Damian stared, and you stared. He squinted, wet his lips, then turned back to the game. This was your only acknowledgment that he recognised you. His voice was deeper, smoother, than you remember it. “Queen.”
You shifted in your shoes, almost laughing in shock. “...Wayne.”
The game grew boring and Damian didn’t say anything else, so you said nothing too, sneaking glances at him. The last time you’d spoken to Robin had been in costume, when he’d thanked you for assisting with a mission. He’d really been thanking you for standing up for him. You didn’t team up often with the Titans, but when you did, you found that they were unusually snappy and mean with their leader. Not necessary on purpose, but you could tell that Damian couldn’t take as many bites as he pretended to. Standing up for him had been a simple thing. The good thing to do. Now, with that look in his eyes, it almost felt like he still thought about it.
He must have, because the kiss you shared at the end of that mission had glowed with heat. To be fair, you both may have believed you were going to die (before the team pulled through and saved you), so it could’ve been a heat-of-the-moment thing. But this was Robin - if he didn't want to kiss you, he wouldn't. And yet he did.
You’d kissed. And the energy of that kiss lingered between you now, drawing you closer together, putting tiny smiles on your faces. He was cute. Cuter without that mask on.
You stood in the stupid golf silence, feeling foolish. Flirting with boys was much easier in fishnets. It didn’t help how fine Damian’s profile was. He had soft, feathery lashes that occasionally touched down on beauty marked cheeks. His lips were even fuller from the side, forever drawn in a curious line. And those eyes, when they caught yours and danced away again, were much too nice to hide behind a mask. You couldn’t get that thought out of your mind.
When Bruce finally made his move, you leaned in to whisper something to each other at the same time, accidentally knocking shoulders.
“I - apologies,” Damian flushed.
“Oh, um, my bad,” you rubbed awkwardly at the spot where you’d collided. “...You were going to say something?”
Damian’s eyes flicked to your fathers, then to you, unimpressed. He lowered his voice so only you could hear. “They’re awfully hypocritical, don’t you think? Father snaps at me everytime I use my skills in public, and yet he’s putting with perfect aim like it’s not the very same.”
Chuckling, you rolled your eyes and scooted closer, ducking your voice into the bubble between your bodies. “My dad’s the same way. Don’t aim in the house, he says, unless it’s him trying to beat Bruce Wayne.”
Your company’s shoulders turned sideways, leaning into you. His breath ghosted the hair on your neck, standing it on end, and again that silky voice sent tingles down your spine. Damian must change his voice as Robin, because he never spoke like this then. So huskily, so low.
He shook his head. “Unbelievable.”
You watched him. He watched you. You ran your tongue over your teeth, and Damian subtly adjusted his slacks from his pockets.
At the same time, you asked each other, “Would you like to get a drink?”
_
Your hiding place was a loveseat in the lounge, between more businessmen and their ditzy heirs. The bartender was your family’s, so he smiled and turned down your request for a drink, courtesy of your dad’s strictness. Luckily, he didn’t recognise Damian. You watched him order it at the bar, his rings catching the light, the muscle in his arms peeking out from under his blazer.
“I think he suspected I wasn’t of age, so he only gave me one.” He took the place next to you, propping his ankle on one knee and lounging out like a panther. Damian offered the cocktail to you, once he’d decided the coast was clear. It was a cute gesture. “Is that acceptable?”
You fished a five dollar bill out of your purse. “Only if you take this for paying. Don’t think I didn’t see you try and sneakily get that past me.”
Damian scrutinized the bill, then you, somehow managing to be a smartass without opening his mouth. Instead of thinking about how nice it would feel to kiss the slight crease between his brows, you traded hands with him so the bill was in his and the drink was in yours. The gentle brush of you palm to his knuckles put way too many butterflies in your belly.
You talked about everything and anything. About home, family life, your cities. The best of it was when Damian dipped his head so only you could hear him, keeping your secrets close and your bodies closer. This was the only way he talked about Robin, so you circled back to any vigilante subject you could think of just so Damian would keep purring into your ear like that. Better yet, he was smart. Talking to him was engaging, and within minutes he'd entranced you, so you sat there talking for more than an hour. Around you, the party rotated and went on.
At one point, you took a drink of the cocktail and passed it to him to share. Damian placed his lips right where yours had been, licking up the cocktail salt and gulping it down slow, adam’s apple bobbing, like it wasn’t the taste of the vodka he was savoring.
Eventually, your bliss was broken. Damian was called over to his father, again, to discuss business, and he left you with your remaining cocktail and the memory of that mission. You couldn’t find a reason to move from your seat. When you’d realized that you and Robin had been led into a trap on that mission, it’d been too late, and your efforts to escape became more and more futile. All you could do was pray the Titans got to you on time. Robin had offered you his glove as the walls closed in, and you’d watched up-close as he assumed you were both about to die. The fear in his eyes was strange - like it was familiar to him. At the same time, you cupped his neck and he held your upper back, and you’d kissed fervently, sweetly.
Damian had put his forehead to yours, and promised even as the trap shrunk around you, “You were excellent. More excellent than they ever said.”
In the big picture, it was a strange last remark to make, and afterwards you’d been too happy about surviving to think about it. But in the moment, you understood. You were understood. Somehow, Damian had reached into your soul and gouged out the words you’d been dying to hear, from your parents, from anyone, and uttered them to you with burning conviction. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe he meant it. Damian found you excellent. Someone, somewhere, didn’t think you were a failure.
Odd, how you’d never seen the face of the man you thought you’d die with (until now), and yet he saw you so easily. You watched him follow his father into the party crowd now, wondering. The Titans had saved you before you could ask what he’d meant. More importantly, before you could tell him the same. He was excellent.
_
Once you’d finished off your drink, you left it at the bar and grinned evilly at your family bartender. He rolled his eyes and slyly delivered you another, which, on your superhero schedule, would not have you drunk yet. Another heir to some big company was seated at your right, ignored by his father enough to look for some small talk with you.
He was one of the cute, nerdy types that were usually in awe of you. Girls, available girls, were typically rare at these kinds of parties, so he took you not having a boyfriend as permission to flirt with you. Unfortunately for him, your seat gave a perfect angle on Damian across the party floor. He was impressing the wives of Wayne business partners, who flocked around him like they’d flocked around you, pinching his cheeks. You could almost read their lips enough to guess what they were saying. What a handsome young man you are! Oh, Bruce must be so proud.
“...and then my father flipped over his kayak! Would you believe it? Two thousand dollars, thrown right in our family’s lake.” Your company snickered, howling at his own story.
You circled the rim of your glass, watching how Damian tried to teach some of the women phrases in Arabic. Unknown to them, they were some pretty funny swear words. It threw you into a bout of giggles, and the man next to you kept talking, spurred on by the noise.
The flock of hens around Damian receded, and his shoulders slouched in relief. That was cute, too. It wasn’t often that people understood how draining these parties were, but for people like you and Damian, it was a racetrack of endless, boring circles. Everything was a formality. Few things were genuine. Damian turned, and you caught his eye to let him know you were going to meet him. He nodded toward a side hall, his mouth a curious line again. If you looked at it long enough, it felt like a smile when he mouthed, escape?
Your company was still talking. He stopped when you grabbed his tie and planted a pity-kiss on his cheek, waving to him as you bounced away. “Sorry, kid. Not my type.”
_
You planned to bring Damian to the secluded balcony on the second floor to unwind, but instead, you were taken by the wrist and maneuvered into an empty powder room. It was colder than the steaming party air and smelled like champagne, with couches to sit on and mirrors to powder at. For a bathroom, the lights were warm and low. The noise of the party went quiet the instant the door was shut, like you and Damian had entered your own little world. No more circles. No more back and forth.
“Here,” Damian said, noting the mirrors. He tilted his head as he asked, like he was nervous, “Is this acceptable?”
“It is the ladies powder room, but I’ll give you a pass, since you’re cute.” You joked. Damian didn’t make a move to relax on one of the couches yet, hanging in front of you like there was more he wanted to say. There was more you wanted to say, too, but no good words came to mind.
But the silence wasn’t awkward. Again, Damian stared, and you stared. The glass he brought with him was set down. He put one fist on the counter beside the door, and like honey had been poured on your nerves, you realized how easy it would be for him to push you up against it. Kiss you senseless. Heat drooled off of him this close, and you wondered if he’d still lean in to whisper to you even if you were alone.
The lack of words drew to a point where something had to be said, anything, but his eyes felt so good on your skin and it was interesting to see him nervous. Something strange told you that Damian liked the silence, too.
You wet your lips with your tongue. Damian cleared his throat, and took a sip from his glass. “Was I interrupting something?”
“Between me and that guy?” You smiled gently, like you were reassuring him, and laughed to yourself. “Oh, man, you should’ve seen it, Damian. Poor kid really thought I was flirting with him. He’d totally convinced himself, it was hilarious.”
His profile was tense in the mirror, which you stole glances at to watch how the amber light played on his handsome skin. When Damian swallowed his drink, his throat rolled in the sexiest way, and immediately your mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, tonguing his neck.
“Why’d you ask?” Your eyes sparkled. Damian drew a step closer, and you used the opportunity to swipe a drop of alcohol from the corner of his lip with your thumb. “You jealous?”
It was the touch or the suggestion that made Damian pause. He didn’t stutter, but lagged over what to say, eyes vast and wanting as they raked over your face. “I don’t get jealous,” he clarified, “but… I do intend to be the only man to kiss you tonight.”
Damian’s hand took your chin. Your belly exploded with instant arousal, hitting you like a bullet of liquid lust. “You’re the only man who’s kissed me like that,” you whispered, taking his tie in hand. “I hope that’s always true.”
His voice had gone throaty. “May I kiss you again?”
Again, he reminded you.The two of you had kissed before, and it had been spectacular, terrifying, and excellent.
“Please,” you said, and Damian rushed to your aid.
Not a moment more was wasted. Curling his tie into your fist, you drew him in, slow and deep and wonderfully. Damian’s cologne hit you before his lips did, and both made your core throb for friction. Two broad hands slammed your hips into the door. His fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your dress, pressing you back and squeezing you in until you could feel his belt buckle against your belly. Damian was a sweet, magnetic kisser, chasing your lips like he was on a crusade to save them. Each time they met, he swam deeper. The point of his nose bumped against your cheek. You hummed your laugh against his lips, and Damian groaned as he pulled away, readjusting, twisting, testing the limits of the kiss. And you followed him at every step or more, revelling in his taste.
You didn’t want him to think you wanted the kiss to end, so you drew the hands braced under his blazer around his neck. Soon, that didn’t feel close enough, so you cupped each side of his face and pecked Damian until you were breathless. He brought you in until your arms were flat to his chest, the kiss almost vertical in its intensity.
He groaned when you parted, gasping and blinking just inches from your face. Your mouths were still connected by a thick string of drool, which hung until it split and clung to Damian’s chin and fell, marking a wet strip down into his collar. You panted, watching it go.
Damian left your waist to hold your wrists, keeping your hands around his face. He settled warmly into your touch, basking in it, and the pure enjoyment on his face made you smile. You wondered if anyone else had cared for him like this. If Damian had ever felt someone hold his face and treasure it. The thought gave you a strange urge, so you followed it.
You brought Damian’s brow level with your mouth and sweetly kissed his forehead. Then his nose bridge, then his temples. His face was so quickly warm that you giggled. In the most unsubtle way possible, Damian drew back his hips so you couldn’t feel the heat there, and closed his eyes, begging you to continue.
“I want you,” you whispered against his jaw.
Damian shivered. “You have me.”
You shifted one hand to his shoulder, giving yourself more room to nuzzle and kiss his neck. The line of drool was still there, so you cupped his skin and tilted his jaw up, and in one stroke, licked all the way to his earlobe. Damian’s moan poured from his mouth like a growing flood. You even felt his thighs press together between you, and pleasure tingled in your throat when he choked at the glide of your tongue.
He released your wrists, reached beside you, and locked the door with an audible click.
Then, Damian devoured you. Both hands hooked around your back, arching your chest into his, and finally, bringing his bulge between your hips. You clung to him for dear life, helpless as his teeth pressed into your neck like a vampire. Damian fed like one, too, suckling the skin there like he was starved. Your panties were so wet that you were desperate to get out of them, grinding your core against his.
Damian retreated, gasping. He licked the spit off of his lips and glared into your eyes. Bluntly, he said, “I want to eat you out.”
Once more, you kissed him, delirious with excitement. Your lungs burned for air, but your core burned harder for him. “Take off that suit and you can do whatever you want to me.”
His eyes gleamed. “I plan to.”
Quickly, you shoved your hands into his sleeves and pushed them off his shoulders, giving you a crisp glimpse at his carved shoulders. Damian's fingers blurred from button to button, but he saved the last for you on purpose. You worked in tandem and with little thought. If he could, Damian would steal a kiss, and you would bite his lip and chase him into more. When that last button was popped, his white button-down parted for a gorgeous plane of hard-earned muscle. His abs, ribs and pecs were pockmarked with scars, shrapnel marks and in some places, bullet holes. You stopped.
At your staring, Damian pressed his lips together.
“It's.. not appealing, I know,” he monotoned.
“No,” you disagreed, palming his stomach, “it’s impressive. All these do is show how strong you are, how long you've survived. You're so… built...” you didn't hide your thorough examination of him, “...I mean, we have to be to do what we do, but still… It suits you. It's sexy.”
You worried you'd ruined the moment with your babbling, but he glimmered under your praise. Damian brightened in the way only Damian could, smirking devilishly and towering over you like a supervillain.
“Sexy?” He pressed his naked chest into yours, whispering hotly in your ear. You could feel his silk tie pinned between you. “Does that mean I'm your type?”
You rolled your eyes. “Eavesdropper.”
“Temptress,” Damian replied, just as easily.
To claim your title, you found Damian's belt and pulled on it until the clasp gave. It made a satisfying whipping noise as you ripped it off of him, shouldered into his space to grab his waist in one hand, and cupped his throbbing boxers in the other. Damian's sigh came hoarsely and wanton from his mouth.
“Fuck me,” you demanded, grinning with delight.
Instead of wasting time on a response, Damian fell to his knees, a faithful worshipper. He did the gentlemanly thing and helped you kick off your heels. The tile was icy on your bare feet, but it only mattered until Damian ran his hands up your thighs. Sliding his fingers underneath the fabric, he bunched it up your middle, peering up at you smugly through his lashes. You could feel the debauchery of it - Damian, on his knees, tie hanging still from his neck, pinning you to the door. You, your legs spread and wanting.
Damian sucked in a breath. Your panties had an obvious wet patch, put there by him. He thumbed it carefully, watching your brows tense and your eyes close, basking in your initial whine. All of it enchanted him. You were soaking because of him, trembling because of him, marked because of him. There was not one place he would rather be than here.
Damian collected your sweetness and sampled the taste on his thumb, trapping it behind his smug smile. He ran his tongue over his teeth, spreading the flavor around his mouth, savoring it. As Damian rolled your underwear down your legs, his cock twitched in his open fly. You were beautiful. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.
“Put your leg over my shoulder,” Damian ordered, smirking, “I want to taste you.”
Warmth exploded in your cheeks. “G-go ahead.”
Gradually, you situated your leg across his back, pussy tensing at the touch of the cooler air. This didn't matter for long. Damian's warm lips nuzzled and kissed the thigh closest to him, painting messy reflective circles on your skin with his kiss. Even that made your legs tense wildly, so Damian shoving his wet, blazing tongue into the folds of you cunt pumped moan after moan from your mouth.
“Damian!” You yelped.
Oh, he definitely liked that. Damian pinched your ass and used his mouth so passionately that his head shook back and forth. He darted right for your clit, sucking it until his cheeks were hollow and humming smugly between your legs with every squeal. Parting your folds with one hand, Damian kissed your core just as dirtily as he'd kissed you. The dangerous glint in his eye never faded. He plunges his tongue inside you in earnest, slurping obscenely, purposefully. There's no need for Damian to shoot you cute looks or put on a show - his skill was the performance, because that skill was unbeatable. Your pussy was already tender, fucked nerveless by Damian's filthy mouth. He vibrated your cunt with a deep groan before he drew away, face dripping with slick like a pornstar’s.
“You're suitably wet,” he said, matter-of-factly, “would you like me to use my fingers?”
All the strength you had went into a weak, pleading nod.
Damian was polite enough to grant you your bearings first, letting you grip his hair and squeeze the counter before he resumes. You give him the sweetest, most precious whine when Damian licks you open again. He wisely starts with one finger and builds from there, earning you with pumps and curls of his digits. Damian's talents quickly become a currency, one that you exchange with mewls and pants of praise.
“So good,” you whine, “oh, fuck - fuck, just like that…”
Damian smirks between your legs, jamming his fingers faster into your sore pussy. Lust sizzles low in your gut, ramped up again and again by his thrusting. It’s so powerful that you roll and buck off the door, your hips in his face. You want him - want him more than you want anything.
“You're ravaging,” Damian hums between licks. His eyes are closed, but that only gives the way he touches you more meaning.
It’s so surprising from his mouth that your hold on his hair slips, setting Damian free. He pants, catching his breath, and it’s easily the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. The effort has slouched him from his knees to his calves, further spreading his legs and opening up the fly of his pants. A solid bulge has formed and spilled out there, straining to escape his briefs like an arm in a sling that’s too small, way too small, for someone of his size. Three of Damian’s fingers are still twisting inside of you.
Slowly, Damian tipped back his head and hung down, arranging himself beneath your cunt. “So beautiful.” His free hand splayed where your leg met your hip. “May I touch you?”
“I-I get it’s the gentleman thing to do, to - to keep asking, but fuck, Damian,” you cursed, “you can do whatever you want to me.”
Damian’s intense jade eyes were so dilated that you could barely make out the color. He dragged his cheek against your thigh, fingers still circling inside you, and grinned like a shark. It was probably a bad idea to give the heir to the Demon’s Head that much power over you.
His other hand squeezed your skin, slow to passionate, from your belly to your breasts beneath your dress. It’s clear by the way Damian looks at you that he loves what he sees. The texture of his veiny, calloused hands feels good on your waist and ass, dragging you closer to him. He chuckles when your back arches, when your nails press into his hands, his back muscles, throwing himself into his task. Damian’s nose prods your folds as he licks you clean, tongue dipping and sliding against your sore clit. It’s like he’s done this for you before, in this exact way. Though he utilizes his tongue the most, his lips too are brutal, matched perfectly to fit your pussy lips.
But that tongue - how Damian’s jaw isn’t tired, you don’t know. He parts your folds and latches onto your clit, flicking his tongue at superspeed until drool and cum bubbles from your sensitive core. Your back winds tighter at every vibrating lick, paralyzing the muscles in your legs with glorious pleasure. It’s so exquisite you start to melt to the floor like warm clay, only to be bolstered back up by Damian, both hands viciously squeezing your ass. He keeps going not for you, but himself, sucking down every last drop of your juices.
Shattered, you twist hopelessly into his mouth, chasing the strained feeling like it’s the last you’ll ever glimpse. “Fuck, fuck - D-Damian, ah…”
“Did it feel good when I made you cum?” He teases, “It certainly tastes good. All those filthy little noises you make for me…” Damian shakes his head at himself, like it’s too fantastic to indulge again. He leaves your clit with a satisfied kiss. “Beautiful.”
Once more, the words are surprising to hear from him. You always considered Damian the prude type, but here he is, on his knees for you, mouth and chin glittering with your juices while he teases you in low, sexy tones. At your surprised look, Damian has the gall to blush.
With his ring finger in his mouth, he ponders, “If a man has never said that to you before...” pop, “consider me surprised.”
“Never while finger-fucking me, at least,” you admited, legs still trembelling. “It was sweet. You… you meant that?”
It was hard to imagine Damian Wayne finding anything beautiful. Even you, who was pretty enamored with him, figured he would judge by quality or skill, not beauty. The words tasted new on his tongue.
Slowly, Damian stood and stretched, his shoulders tight after staying in the strange position for so long. Lifting his arms coincidentally let his waistband sit lower on his hips, flashing his green boxers your way while showing off the huge, carved muscles of his arms. Truly, Damian’s subtlety was unmatched. You didn’t mind his miniature bragging fest - not when he had so much to brag about. Eating you out had put an excited shimmer in his skin, so the gold-toned lights of the room reflected sexily off his sweat, already accenting his kissable tan.
“I did,” he told you, moving on to his sucking middle finger. His other hand played on your thigh, stroking it. “I’ve always been… drawn to you. Every mission we’ve had together. I have a profound feeling that we are very similar.”
You laughed. Not at what he said, but the timing of it. “Would you believe me if I said I felt the same way?”
Damian made a face like his heart was doing jumping jacks. “A few hours ago? No. But now…” he barricaded you against the door, first with his hands and then his hips, closed in so tightly that you had to look past your nose to meet his eyes. “Your crush is adorably obvious. I’m annoyed that I didn’t see it before.”
Your rounded your hands against Damian’s shoulders, then his tie. It twisted nicely around your fingers, silky and cold in comparison to your flushed skin. You were tempted to fix your dress, but nothing, not even the world ending, could make you leave this room.
“My crush is obvious? Damian, all you’ve done for the last two hours is sneak me drinks and imply how much easier it is to be around me.” You grinned, “What’d you say earlier? There you are, Queen. Finally, someone intelligent enough to speak to me.”
Damian shrugged. “It’s true. Your knowledge of bioluminescent ocean life is fascinating.”
“I can’t believe you said that after giving me head for ten minutes.”
“It’s actually been closer to twelve,” Damian smirked.
Playfully, you pinched Damian’s cheek, then pulled him by the tie into a starved, energetic kiss. He must’ve been praying for your permission to continue, because the plan he’d been forming is quickly put into action. You’re hugged, arms scooped under your back as you kiss him. Damian surrenders his mouth to a bit of revenge tonguing while undoing your dress. No amount of kissing will pull him from his task, but your hand is a special case - it smooths down the front of his boxers and Damian melts.
“Y/N,” he groans.
Damian petulantly resists the temptation to close his eyes, but your touch is soft and sweet, demanding him to yield. Your lips suckle on his neck and Damian’s knees buckle. If getting his mouth between your legs didn’t turn him on, then this will finish him for sure.
“I missed you. Kissing you.” You purr into his throat. “One could never be enough for me.”
Is this what it’s like to be wanted? Damian asked himself. The only possible answer thrilled him, and he found himself pouring even more passion into the kiss, into you, wanting to share that rush of affection. You respond to his every touch with vigor. Damian’s heart stalls each time your thumb strokes his face, each time the other strokes him through his slacks.
“Me either,” he rasped, and helped you out of your dress. His tone was shy, but his words held too much depth to be meaningless. I want a wealth of them. I always want to kiss you, was what he wanted to say, but Damian was too embarrassed to raise the words. This moment was too special to ruin with his hopeless romanticism. He kissed you again and again, and to his amazement, you kissed him right back.
“Fuck me,” you begged him between breaths. “Right here. I don’t care if we’re caught.”
I don’t care if we’re seen together. I want to be seen with you, I’m not ashamed of you.
Damian cupped your face and almost knocked you both over with the strength of his kiss. Nose-to-nose, eyes closed, he commanded, “Bend over the fucking counter.”
In a blink, Damian turned and there you were, open and waiting for him. The sink was hip-level, so the bend was nothing but perfect - Damian could fuck you from behind and watch your lust-blown reflection without issue. Your perfect pussy drooled leftover cum down your legs, making your sex shine in the light.
In the mirror, you watched Damian’s eyes darken in delight. His pupils followed the line of your ass to your back, appreciating it like an artist would, like he intended to paint you later and needed to memorize the greatest shapes of your figure. The marble was icy against your hard nipples, which Damian had exposed when he’d impatiently shoved down your bra. Now, he cupped one of your breasts as he bent over you, kissing and suckling his way down your back.
“Perfect,” Damian hissed.
Shyly pressing your butt back against him, you buried your face in your arms and bit your lip, waiting for him to open you up. Damian’s shadow came to hover over you, and in the mirror his eyes were vicious, pools of circling sharks. “Are you ready?”
“Mhm,” you nodded. “Take your time.”
Though you weren’t being sarcastic, Damian took it that way and pinched one cheek of your ass. “With you? I will.” Then, with the same smoothness, Damian asked, “Condom?”
“Pill,” you replied, and Damian nodded his approval.
His pants rustled as they fell down his legs. Where you couldn’t see, Damian committed the sight to memory - his cock in hand, your pussy spread open, all for him. You squeaked when his hot tip touched your cooling clit, and squeaked again when it glided down your pussy and tested your opening. He knew he’d found the way when you winced.
In an unsurprising moment of compassion (for those who truly knew him), Damian kissed the top of your head and offered you his hand. “Would you like to hold it while I…?”
You took his hand and squeezed it to your chest, squeezing him closer in the process, too. “Thank you. Go slow, for this part…”
Damian complied. His sweat-sticky chest hovered warmly over your back. Even if Damian was big, you were wetter than you’d ever been in your entire life - any pain would quickly slide into pleasure. He braced himself with a deep inhale, and a hot, sharp sensation told you that he’d entered you. Where you choked in a needy gasp, Damian poured out his version of a whimper. You both held it. Then, breath by breath, you were struck with the realization that you’d been dying to feel this for weeks, for months, and only now was that heat being satisfied. Damian’s tongue and fingers had come close, but this is what would cure that aching emptiness - his big, girthy cock.
The deathgrip you had on Damian’s hand loosened. “You look perfect,” he murmured into your hair, instantly making your core flutter. “Oh,” he chuckled filthily, “you like that? Funny, how badly that idiot at the bar wanted to be in my place right now…but it’s me who gets to pound into—”
“Damian,” you warned.
He smiled smugly against your neck. “Nothing.”
Dutifully, Damian withdrew his hips, taking all of the heat with him. When he rolled back in, a hot, tingling sensation roared over all of your senses, and you let the moan at the top of that tsunami loose. It was clear that he couldn’t fuck you like he wanted to with one hand fished down at your side, so he glued both to the base of your back and started to thrust in earnest.
“So full...” You mewled, and Damian became a human pile-driver.
Your head seemed to roll off your shoulders with every crazed, rhythmic slam, so you grabbed the faucet and held on for dear life. Every slap was so loud, so powerful, that you prayed this one random bathroom in the penthouse was soundproofed. Anyone walking past would know you were getting railed out of your mind. You tried to compensate by moaning and squeaking quietly, but with force came volume. It didn’t matter how silent you were, Damian’s hips, your ass, the squelch of him inside you - each noise filled the bathroom, echoing off the tile.
The only way you could think to describe him was filling. First, there was the hot, cinching tension of his hands fused to your waist. Then there was his cock, which begged to be squeezed more and more with every pass. You responded to each throb with a mighty clench, which bent Damian over you like an animal, gasping for breath. His balls were painted with your slick. The closer you came to orgasm together, the closer Damian came to you. His hands migrated to higher on your sides, then up by your shoulders, then around you, where Damian kissed your back and rubbed your belly while he made love to you. He talked more than he moaned. Your ear was filled with sweet nothings, with vicious promises of what he would do with a whole night alone with you.
Damian’s reflection was wild with lust. He met your eyes as he fucked you, whispering how beautiful you are, how good you take his dick. His deep green eyes were so dark you couldn’t make out the brown in them anymore. The long muscles on his arms drew taut with each thrust, making his biceps bulge and pin your hips to the sink. Soon enough, a bruise would form from the pressure. One of many treasures from tonight - you would be thinking about Damian in his crisp suit for months to come, and the mess he’d become with you now even longer. Your pleasure built and built and built, like a nail struck further into the ground with a hammer. A very, very big hammer.
“M’ cumming,” Damian husked, slowing his plowing to a sloppy glide. Even his endurance was spent, and you were glad he’d spent it all on you. “Where d’ you…?”
You braced your hands on the counter, then on one of Damian’s. Together, you smoothed his digits down your stomach and between your soft, abused folds. “Inside me, please, please please—” you begged him, “fuck, a-as deep as you can go.”
As a test of your flexibility, Damian turned in and kissed you. Just as he parted your lips with his tongue, he parted your folds with his fingertips, overriding your clit as his cock throbbed inside you to the hilt. He took the invitation as a command. Damian pressed in until you could feel his abs mold to your ass, then stuttered his hips in quick, agonized dips to get himself there. With his fingers and his cock putting stars in your eyes, you finished first.
The white marble counter fizzed in your vision, until all you could see was that powerful, endless white, humming in your mind’s eye. Still, Damian wasn’t finished yet. You bumped your temple against his chin and hummed, “Cum for me, baby… fuck, a-ah!”
Your pussy’s throb raced and raced until it spilled over, pulling Damian right under the current. One clench and he was done for, so the velvety, periodic squeeze of your cunt emptied his store. You hung there, spasming in unison, until that overwhelming heat spurted in a ring around Damian’s cock and flooded out of you. Only then did his fingers stop on your clit, and you settled warmly in each other's arms and tried to remember your names and who you were.
Damian pulled out, then snuggled back in. He would’ve been nervous any other time, but he’d just put his dick inside you, so a little instinctive cuddling could be forgiven. On shaky legs, you turned around and sunk into him. You could tell by how he was eyeing the sink that he was desperate to get clean again, so with one kiss (on the cheek), you set Damian loose.
In companionable silence, Damian cleaned up and you collected the clothes abandoned on the floor. Staring at the corner where you’d just had the best sex of your life put an embarassingly pleasant warmth in your chest. Interesting, how one terrifying moment could become something as special as this. Fascinating, how you’d felt like you’d known him all your life.
“You know… I think you’re excellent, too.” You told him, finishing off the knot for his tie.
Damian dipped his head to hide his smile, but something so bright was impossible to hide.
3K notes · View notes
shurisneakers · 3 years
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if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!
a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj
warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist
Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.
“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.
“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.
“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”
“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”
“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”
“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.
“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”
“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”
“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”
Ah, fuck.
“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.
“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”
“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”
Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.
“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.
“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”
“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.
____
“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.
“What could I possibly get you?”
“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.
“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”
“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."
“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.
“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”
He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.
“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”
He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.
“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”
“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”
“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”
“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.
“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.
“It’s none of your busi-”
“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”
His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.
“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.
“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.
“I’m literally asking you.”
“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.
“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”
“Like Pandora’s Box?”
“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”
He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.
“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.
“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.
“Sir, you’re a geriatric."
“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.
“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”
He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”
“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”
“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”
“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”
“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.
“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”
“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”
“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”
“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.
“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.
“I want this to get over before this evening.”
“What time’s your date?”
“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.
“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”
“Five o’clock, now let go.”
“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.
“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 
You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.
A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.
“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.
Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.
“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.
“I told you; bad luck in a box.”
“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”
“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”
He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.
“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”
He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.
“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.
“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”
He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.
____
Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.
He isn’t used to having his weekends free.
He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.
His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.
It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.
The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.
He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.
He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.
He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.
“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.
They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.
He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.
The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.
Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.
He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.
Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.
He was sure he picked it up.
He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.
This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.
Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.
His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.
“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”
“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.
See? Good luck.
He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.
He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.
He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.
He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.
He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.
He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.
“Is everything okay?”
Fuck.
He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.
“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”
He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.
He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.
He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.
He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.
His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.
Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.
The box.
He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.
Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.
He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.
Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.
He fucking trips again.
“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”
He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.
Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.
No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.
He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.
There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.
There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.
There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.
The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.
Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.
The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.
He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.
“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.
He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.
“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”
Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.
The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.
It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.
The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.
Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.
The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.
He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.
Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.
Motherfu-
He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.
“James?”
“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”
“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.
“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."
“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.
“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.
“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.
“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.
“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”
“You must be really dehydrated."
Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”
He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.
“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”
He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.
“I, uh,-”
“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.
“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.
His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.
However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.
He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.
“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.
“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”
He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.
“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”
“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”
It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.
He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.
But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.
He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.
“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”
Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”
He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.
He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.
He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.
Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.
It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.
Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.
He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.
He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.
Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.
The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.
The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?
His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.
The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.
When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.
There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.
He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.
But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.
The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.
“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”
When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-
“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”
“I need you to fix whatever this is.”
“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.
There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.
The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.
The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.
He should have known. He should have fucking known.
Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.
In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.
It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?
There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.
It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.
But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.
He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.
The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.
His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.
“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”
He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”
“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.
It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.
“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.
“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”
“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”
He hesitates. “I guess?”
“Was she nice?”
“Yeah.” Where was this going.
“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”
“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”
“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”
“Just fix it.”
“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.
He waits for you to do something.
You flick him on the forehead.
“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”
What.
He says exactly what he’s thinking.
You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”
Huh?
“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”
He’s confused.
“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”
“The shoelaces?”
“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”
His face scrunches in puzzlement.
“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”
He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.
“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”
“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”
He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.
“What about the fucking geese?”
You pause for a second. “The geese?”
“And the elevator.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”
“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”
“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”
“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”
“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”
He nods briskly.
“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”
“Perfume?”
“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”
“It wasn’t an inator?”
“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.
“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.
“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”
“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?
“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.
Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.
“Wait here a second.”
You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.
“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."
He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.
You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.
He reluctantly extends it towards you.
“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”
You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.
“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”
“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”
“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”
He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”
“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”
“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”
He scoffs. “Thanks.”
You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.
He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.
“Bucky.”
He turns around.
There’s a hint of a smile on your face.
“Take the stairs.”
He doesn’t have to be told twice.
Next part
948 notes · View notes
gubler-me-up · 3 years
Text
The Cure
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Request: Not sure if you are taking requests but I’d love to see a one shot of that scene where Reid is getting washed down bc of anthrax and he asks the reader “I’m about to get naked, do you really wanna see that?” And the reader is like yeah and leads to some sexy times later lmaooo
A/N: Thank you for the request, anon! While I was writing this I was like how do I turn this moment into something sexy??? but I think I figured it out so I hope it makes for a good smutty read!! Enjoy!
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader
Category: Smut
Content warning: Unprotected sex, penetrative sex, fingering, creampie, swearing, mentions of anthrax
Word count: 2.7k
————-
“Go help Hotch,” Spencer insisted.
“Hotch has plenty of people helping him,” you assured.
The biohazard team was hosing him down with water to eliminate any traces of anthrax possibly lingering on his body. You felt bad you had let him wander off by himself even though he continuously insisted it was his fault. You wanted to stay by his side until he was taken to the hospital. You wanted to make sure he was okay throughout the whole process.
“He needs you more than I do,” he said.
You shook your head in protest. “Spence, I’m going to see you off to the hospital.”
“I’m about to get naked so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?” He asked.
Without thinking you answered. “Yes.”
You quickly pressed your lips together as you realized what you had said. He looked at you in shock and you could feel the embarrassment tingling in your gut. The biohazard team looked on as if nothing had occurred but you could tell they heard you just by the brief looks they gave you. They seemed intrigued by what would be the next words to leave either of your mouths.
“Uh, maybe I will go see if Hotch needs help,” you said as you turned around.
“Y/N,” you heard him call.
You immediately turned around. You thought you turned around too eagerly because he looked thrown off by how quickly you switched your attention back to him. Or maybe he was still thrown off by your response to him. Either way you stood there waiting for him to say another word.
“I wa-”
“Dr. Reid, did you cut your hand?” Dr. Kimura asked.
Spencer looked at his left hand and you could see the instant look of panic wash over his face. You felt your heart drop as you saw how scared he looked and you were deeply scared for him. You both had thought he was in the clear for about an hour at that point which scared you even more. While they were hosing him down the anthrax had been going into his bloodstream.
He then let out a raspy cough. The panic started to come over you and you went right up to the glass that separated the both of you. He looked up at you and tried to tell you something but he was interrupted by a series of raspy coughs.
“He needs to get to the hospital now,” Dr. Kimura said.
“Spence, you’re going to be okay. Please tell him he’s going to be okay,” you begged.
“He’ll be okay once we get him to a hospital,” she reassured you.
She grabbed him by the arm and escorted him out of the room. The other biohazard team members rushed to the ambulance in the driveway. You ran out the door to meet them in the driveway. They took out the gurney and helped Spencer onto it.
You looked on in horror as he had trouble catching his breath. You didn’t even think your steps through as you walked towards the ambulance. As they put him in you were ready to climb in along with him. Dr. Kimura had to stop you immediately.
“Agent, you can’t be in the ambulance,” she said.
“But I have to make sure he’s okay,” you said.
“I know you do but I don’t want you to be put at risk. Meet us at the hospital to find out any further details about his health,” she said.
Before you could protest any further she hopped into the ambulance and closed the doors. You heard the sirens blare as they rushed out of the driveway towards the hospital. You ran towards the SUV and hopped into the driver’s side to get ready to follow them.
You took out your phone and called Hotch before you followed them. You impatiently waited for him to answer. You wanted to be by Spencer’s side as soon as possible so he had someone by his side to make sure he was okay. As soon as Hotch answered you frantically babbled everything you had to say to him.
“Hotch, Reid’s going to the hospital because the anthrax is probably in his bloodstream, so I’m going there right now to make sure he’s going to be okay,” you said.
“Y/L/N, how did that even happen? I thought they were going to hose him off,” he said.
“Hotch, I’ll fill you in later but I have to go. Bye,” you said and hung up on him.
You knew Hotch would call you out for your irrational need to panic but you didn’t care. You had to make sure Spencer had some sort of support. He had been through so much by himself and you couldn’t let him go through another downfall in his life alone. You put on your sirens and pulled out of the driveway before rushing to the hospital.
It had been an agonizing three hours of waiting for Spencer to wake up. Lucky for him he found the cure before he was rushed to the hospital. When he did wake up you made sure he was the first person he saw. It would have been you and Morgan but he went to go get an extra jello for Spencer for when he woke up. You and Morgan had eaten both of the jello’s in his room because you both got hungry as you waited for him to open his eyes.
You were over the moon when he had woken up. You couldn’t contain your excitement and went in for a hug immediately. You made sure it wasn’t too tight but close enough so he could feel the warmth you had to give to him. He wrapped his arms around you to hold you tight to him.
He couldn’t thank you enough for being by his side the whole three hours he was asleep. You assured him you would have waited longer if need be. The need did arise when Dr. Kimura informed him she wanted to keep him overnight to make sure he was fully stabilized. You told him you would stay with him as long as possible before the hospital had to send guests home for the night.
You were walking back to his hospital room with a paper bag full of fresh fries from the mom and pop diner from across the street. Spencer said he wished he had some fries to balance out his plain Jane hospital ham and cheese sandwich. You took it upon yourself to get it for him. It was the least you could do for him after everything he had been through in the day.
You knocked on his hospital room door before entering. He was reading a sports magazine Morgan had left behind in his room. From the look of confusion and dissatisfaction on his face you didn’t think he liked it very much. He looked up at you and instantly smiled as he tossed the magazine onto the side table.
“Hey, I got those fries you wanted,” you said.
“Aw, Y/N, you really didn’t have to,” he said.
“Spence, this isn’t the time for you to be overly considerate about my time or money. You almost died today,” you said as you closed the door behind you.
“That’s no excuse to splurge on me,” he said.
You chuckled as you rolled your eyes. “You’re impossible sometimes. If you don’t want them I’ll gladly eat them for you.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want them, I just said you didn’t have to but since they’re here I’ll eat them,” he said.
You laughed as you walked up to his hospital bed. You sat on the edge and handed over the bag. He smiled as he gladly took the bag from you.
“Thank you for everything, Y/N. I really appreciate you,” he said.
“No problem. Anytime,” you said.
“Can I ask you for one last favour?” He asked.
“Of course,” you said.
“Can you pull the curtains? I don’t feel comfortable with people watching me eat through the windows,” he said.
You got up and walked over to the big curtain to pull it across to block out anyone from looking in. The only light pouring in now was from the little gap of space at the top. You looked over at him with a smile but soon noticed he had put the bag of fries on the side table.
“Aren’t you hungry?” You asked.
“I’m actually curious about what you had said earlier,” he said.
You raised an eyebrow in question to what he meant but you already knew what he was asking about. You walked back over to him and sat on the edge of his hospital bed. You knew he could see through your disguise of playing dumb. You sighed and decided to come clean instead of trying to lie to a profiler.
“I wouldn’t mind seeing you naked. I know it was totally inappropriate and unprofessional and I’m sorry,” you rambled.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“Because I wanted you to stay,” he admitted.
It took a second for you to comprehend what he said. Your eyes widened as you took in his desire for you to be there as he got naked. You didn’t have any words to say to that. On the inside you were screaming at a high pitch that only dogs could hear but nothing left your mouth. You could see Spencer’s open expression soon fade into a worried one.
“Uh, sorry. Maybe you didn’t mean-”
You leaned in and kissed him briefly on the lips to prevent him from continuing his sentence. When you leaned up from him you could see a thrill spark in his eyes. You softly giggled as you felt adrenaline come over you.
“I think you’re really special, Spence and for months now I’ve had you on my mind,” you confessed.
“So have I. Eight months, twelve days and eight hours to be exact,” he said.
You chuckled. “I’m glad we’re on the same basis. If my profiler skills are on point you didn’t want me to close the blinds so you could eat.”
He smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You chuckled as you crawled onto the bed and swung your leg over him so you could straddle him. You leaned closer to him so you were right in front of his face. He couldn’t hide his true intentions from you now. He couldn’t help but laugh as you caught him red-handed.
“How about we stop talking and start doing?” You asked before planting a heavy kiss on him.
He latched his hands onto your hips. He lowered your body down so your pelvis could touch his. You could feel how hard he was through his hospital gown. You slowly grinded on his hard bulge to get him even harder. He moaned through the kiss and you loved hearing him being unable to even form a proper word to express how you made him feel.
He slid his hands down to the bottom of your skirt and moved his hands up to pull it up. He managed to slip his fingers underneath you and slowly stroked the cloth of your underwear. You started to moan yourself and you wanted more of what he was doing to you. You moved your underwear out of his way so he could get to stroke you properly.
He didn’t hesitate to run his fingers up and down your folds. He made sure not to forget to pay your clit a visit here and there. You moaned in pleasure as you let him feel you for the first time. You unbuttoned the first four buttons of your blouse because you were getting hot. Spencer had no problem with you revealing more of yourself to him. In fact he looked ecstatic to see you loosen up even more.
He then inserted two fingers into you. You nearly lost your mind as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. He looked you in your eyes as he did. He had a small smirk on his face in response to how you could barely contain yourself anymore. He leaned forward to trap you in another lengthy kiss. From your lips he kissed along the side of your face until he reached your ear.
“I’ve been waiting for a long time to know how you feel,” he whispered.
“I hope it’s everything you’ve ever desired,” you moaned.
“It’s more than I could ever desire,” he whispered.
His words alone could send you over the edge. You pulled back the sheets from under you and proceeded to lift his hospital gown. You gently took his fingers out of you as it was time for you to show him how good you could feel.
You grabbed his dick from underneath you to hold it in place. You gently slid down onto it and you both let out a moan in unison. You grabbed onto his shoulders for support as you gently rode him. You would go faster but you thought he had already been through a wild ride during the day.
The way he grabbed your hips to motion you to go faster indicated to you his heart could take it. You obliged and quickened your pace as you continued to let out countless moans. You looked in his eyes as you rode him and you could see how lost in lust he looked.
“How do I feel now?” You asked.
“Amazing,” he said.
You smiled and leaned down to kiss him again. You couldn’t get over how amazing his kisses were. You didn’t know if you liked his kisses more or his dick. He was definitely the whole package all around and you couldn’t get off the high he made you feel.
You continued to ride him for a few minutes and it was becoming harder and harder for both of you to contain your moans. You then felt him grab your hips to hold them still. You were confused until he started to buck his hips up into you. You accidentally moaned louder than expected so he hushed you as he continued to buck his hips.
“I’m about-”
“Just fucking cum in me.”
“You su-”
“Yes, just do it.”
He grunted as he came in you. You moaned out a sigh and eased up off of his dick. You two were heavily breathing but catching your breaths didn’t stop you from kissing each other. You could have kissed him for hours on end but a knock on the door scared you so deeply you jumped off of him. You fixed your skirt and buttoned your blouse as quickly as possible as Spencer pulled down his nightgown before covering himself with his sheet.
“Come in,” he said.
A security guard came in. He looked at the both of you and for a second you were nervous he knew what you two did. You didn’t exactly care if you two were caught by him but it didn’t make a good first-time story to remember. You immediately grabbed your bag because you came back down to reality and realized what he was going to say.
“Visitation hours are up, miss,” he said.
“I know, I’m leaving now,” you said.
He nodded and left, closing the door behind him. You looked over at Spencer and the both of you laughed. You leaned in and gave him one last kiss.
“I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up,” you said.
“Thank you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” he said.
You smiled. “Me either. See you tomorrow.”
You turned around to walk towards the door. You couldn’t stop smiling to yourself as you thought about the possibilities of tomorrow and the future with Spencer held. Before you turned the doorknob to leave, you heard him call you.
“Y/N,” he said.
You turned your head. “Yes?”
“I can’t let you leave without asking you on a date. Would you like to go on a date next week?” He asked.
You giggled. Even though the two of you just had sex in his hospital bed, he still had to be a gentleman about the whole thing. He was definitely the best guy you had ever known. You nodded in excitement.
“I would love to, Spence,” you replied.
He smiled. “Awesome. I can’t wait. Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Spence."
—–
MASTERLIST
Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx
958 notes · View notes
bakugohoex · 3 years
Note
looove your blog keep up the amazing work 😙✌🏽 anywho fic where people in UA still think shinsou's quirk is scary and they avoid him as much as possible bc they're scared he might activate it + that makes him sad but reader isn't scared of him at all !! and she always talks to him/hangs with him etc.. and he like low-key falls in love w her
”why aren’t you scared of me?”
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pairing: hitoshi shinso x female reader
cw: language, slight angst, fluff, kissing
word count: 4000+
a/n: umm this is weird and i got rid of the joint traning arc and mina and momo are being bitches and it’s just me waffling at 00:30 so yeah have fun to the people awake reading this also thank you so much for the support
summary: in which shinso joins class 1a and whilst everybody seems to be scared of him out of fear he’ll use his quirk, you try to befriend the boy and he develops feelings as soon as you talk to him.
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
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His arrival into the class was shocking to say the least, the small whispers between your classmates and the fear that flushed through their eyes. Except you, you were intrigued by the boy, having seen his quirk at the sports festival you had seen how he used it against Midoriya. His soft violet hair looked a mess but a cute mess to say the least, his dull eyes and grey marks underneath his eyes melted your insides.
“You can sit behind Y/n.” You smiled to signify you were Y/n and he looked down walking past your classmates.
The whispers all in ear shot, you could see his eyes fall but didn’t say anything about it. Him, swiftly taking the seat right behind you, Aizawa had let the class talk among themselves and the fact nobody had come to talk to the boy. Hurt you a lot more than you wished, “y/n, we’re having that movie night next Sunday.”
“I can’t wait.” You turned around to meet the boy, “you’re invited as well.”
He gazed up catching your eyes, your knuckles were white due to the grip on the chair, and you stared with utter confidence. Mina having been the one to ask, she gave a side eye at what you had just said but didn’t bother making a remark.
Shinso answered with a, “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to come.” You had never been this confident but at how he had been ignored by the rest of the class it jolted something inside of you, “we can have lunch together as well.”
“Okay.” It was blunt and Momo this time had come up to you.
She stood in front of you, ignoring the boy, you could see how tense she was at the close proximity between them. She gestured for you to get up, but you ignored her action, “I’ll talk to you later.” You spoke continuing to ignore her pleas, was she really scared of him?
Were they all really that scared of him?
“You can go to your friends; you don’t need to be some sort of pity party.” Shinso muttered, stretching back and leaning against his chair.
Wide eyed, you tilted your head to be placed on the back of your hands, “I’m not a pity party, I want to be friends.”
“Friends, your class hates me.” He looked up and down, your skirt had ridden up and he could see a scar that you had probably gotten from someone’s quirk.
You roll you eyes giving the boy a smirk, “they don’t hate you.” .
“Really?” He gushes out knowing it’s the truth.
“Yes, stop worrying.” It was concerning how easy you two could converse, and your friends were ever so afraid. His gaze watching every one of your features, they assumed he was thinking of how to taint you, but all the saw was a tenderness comfort from you.
You noticed Ectoplasm come through the door ready to teach the hated maths lesson, “be warned if you get a question wrong, he will glare at you.” You gestured to the man and Shinso’s lip twitched upwards.
“Maybe it’s just because you get the questions wrong.” Shinso remarked back, urning a small slap on the arm to him.
His could feel the tip of his ears redden at how your hand had touched his arm, even though the fabric, your hand had lingered before hearing the sound of the lesson starting. You turned back around trying to look and concentrate on the board but all you could really think about was the boy. He was sweet, he understood your humour and he was nice, and you had no idea where there seemed to be an air of terror around the room.
Lunch had finally arrived just as you were getting your stuff, “Y/n, let’s go to next lunch.” This time it was Midoriya who had spoken, he had fought Shinso and knew everything about him. Seeing you be so friendly to someone who had a quirk like him, it made the green haired boy anxious.
“I’m having lunch with Shinso actually” You took your bag, standing up and allowing Shinso to have a full view of your frame, the loose tie around the white shirt, the thigh highs encasing your legs and making your thighs suffocate between the fabric.
He saw the way the class was looking at the scene and he became angry, maybe even upset. Did they really fear him this much, think he’d become some sort of villain and he’d taint you.
You started walking before waiting, “come on then.” It felt like being beckoned but he followed nevertheless, meeting your gaze and walking past the class with you.
“She’s too nice for her own good.” Mina spoke walking out with Momo.
Momo nodded watching how you stood close to the boy, “he might hurt her, we need to keep an eye on them.”
“What if he’s already in her mind?” Mina spoke callously, it was unknown for the two of them to act like this. But they had seen the festival, and they has seen the look on Midoriya’s eyes when he was being brainwashed. You were too nice, everybody knew that, but you had always been infatuated with his quirk from the first time you saw him use it. You hadn’t fought against him during the sports festival but had made it to the same stage he had.
He wouldn’t have paid attention to you, wouldn’t have looked and watched your fight, you weren’t anybody important. “I bet you’re happy you got moved into our class.” Both of you were rounding a corner and you had been telling him about the classmates, but all he could think about was the hate and disgust he had seen in their eyes.
“Yeah, too bad you’ll probably be my only friend.” He shrugs pulling at this tie to loosen due to feeling constricted.
“So we are friends?” He heard the sign of your chuckle and took a heavy breathe, it was soft and warm, filled with a tender kindness he had never experienced before.
He didn’t meet your gaze, “shut up.” He could almost feel your smile on him, turning to meet your gaze, he was going to be friends with you. He knew that, but was still fearful you’d leave him, leave and be afraid of his quirk.
“I shouldn’t have made you have lunch with me, you probably have your own friends from general studies.” You scratched the back of your head looking forward towards the main hall, you both walked towards the food a hunger taking over you.
He captures your eyes beginning to speak, “not really, I used them a lot in the festival and I guess they got pissed.”
He followed you to the empty seat, sitting opposite you as you picked at your food, “well what did you expect, dumbass.” He gave a low chuckle watching how your hair bounced in place and how you licked your lips after taking a bite of the rice.
“I remember seeing your fight, it was good, too bad you lost.” He taunted back; you rolled your eyes gently kicking his leg from underneath the table. Another flush had erupted from his face feeling your leg graze his own.
“It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t touch her to use my quirk, she kept hitting me.” You whined, he smiled at the action, it was cute, but he was never going to admit that.
Instead raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms whilst leaning back he watched you, “okay then, what is this quirk of yours, I better be impressed.”
“Give me your hand.” He gave a wary look, “I’m not going to break your hand.”
He scoffed, putting his hand out, the rest of the class had arrived a couple minutes prior and had seen the two of you. “I don’t understand why you lot are scared of brainwashing kid, you’re all just pussy’s.” Bakugo stormed walking to another table with Kirishima, Sero and Denki.
All four had to admit his quirk was good, even Bakugo who would say it was shitty. They didn’t really care, and Denki could see him as the popular kid who’d he want to be friends with. The four hadn’t gone up to him due to seeing the glares that you had gotten and the glare of Mina’s that felt ice cold.
Most of them believed fear had caught up but how could they live in fear of the boy when he was in their class permanently. What could they do but see him try to integrate more into the class, Kirishima had even felt happy that you had invited him even after Mina and Momo’s look of horror.
Mina had gone to sit with the girls who seemed a lot more hatred to the boy, you understood Izuku’s anxiousness, but he’d get over it when he got more comfortable. You knew the class would be fine, after these months with them all, they’d be fine hopefully. The girls had watched him put his hand out and your fingers grazing his palms, they had no reason but fear that filled them, one of their close friends getting close with a boy with a quirk like his. It was a recipe for disaster.
“What is she doing?” Jirio asked, she didn’t have the same hatred as Momo, and Mina did. But that was only due to you being closer with the latter.
“Showing her quirk.” Hagakure spoke being able to see a lot more than the others by being the closest to the two of you.
Mina’s eyes widened, “why would she do that?”
The lack of response made it seem more like there was more fear from her than anybody else. Of course she would feel like this, she had seen you grow and been there for you and she didn’t want some stupid brainwashing boy to make you a villain. She hadn’t realised her thoughts, how inconsiderate she had been, he wasn’t a villain but why did she believe it so much. Having seen him control Midoriya it was frightening and now here you were sitting in front of him without acknowledging the fear.
“Basically if I touch any matter really, I can control it, so I touched your hand now…” You had stopped speaking letting your mind go blank as you thought for him to wave at you, “see.”
His eyes widened it was like his, it was something similar not exactly the same. But he felt his chest go heavy, he had fallen for you, from the way you spoke to having seen your fight and see you defeated. He had to admit he thought you were an arrogant weakling but now after you had so effortlessly become friends with him, he felt something a lot more for you.
“Shinso.” The sound of your voice saying his name, drove him wild and he couldn’t move, frozen at how you had spoke so smoothly, how his name on your lips was so effortless and seductive. He might sometimes be coy, but he was blunt but at this moment he couldn’t speak out of fear of losing something potential.
“Sorry.” It was a mutter and you shrugged it off taking him to where training would be.
Having changed into your hero costume you saw Shinso with the detachable mask around his mouth. He walked closer to you, but saw how your friends had come over quickly, he didn’t take a step forward standing still. Until Denki had seen him, “hey, I’m Kaminari.”
“Shinso.” The violet haired boy spoke.
Denki began gleefully talking to no end, “…I think your quirk is cool and you look one of those popular boys in Shojo manga.”
“You read Shojo manga.” Shinso spoke visibly confused but intrigued at the boy.
Denki began to save himself by acting cooler than usual, “what you don’t?”
“Nope.” It was another blunt statement; he had easily been able to not been blunt with you, but he was getting anxious at the motives of Denki’s.
“Come to my room tonight, I’ll show you so many.” Denki had easily said, Shinso nodded, he felt relieved that this mornings antics had all be swept away, even seeing Kirishima and Sero coming along dragging Bakugo beside him. They began to converse and Shinso felt relieved but occasionally looked at you, he found your hero costume beautiful, he understood for the lack of clothes due to it being easy to touch stuff with your any part of your body.
He zoned out looking at how your legs were exposed, the white leotard that encased your body and the long white cape that fell from around your neck, it looked moveable and he could see the material to be controllable for you to grab stuff. You looked like an ethereal angel and he if this really was a Shojo manga his nose would be bleeding right about now.
“We’re doing doubles, get into pairs and then join up with another pair.” Shinso noticed how he probably wouldn’t end up with you or one of the boys as they’d partner up together, but Denki had stayed close to him already an acknowledgement that the two were pairs and Sero had gone to pair up with Sato.
You had seen Denki go up to the boy and you knew your assumptions were right, being partnered with Mina would be hard at how she gave fearful remarks of not getting too close to the boy. You were against Momo and Ururaka, it was an ease using and controlling whatever Momo made but you weren’t fully in the fighting spirt. Your gaze on the fight between Kirishima and Bakugo against Shinso and Denki.
“Y/n, pay attention.” Mina chastised, you nodded continuing to stop Ururaka’s aim, it was easy to get close to them and with ease and Mina’s acid you were able to touch them and control them to stop.
It went on like this for a while, you were glad that with timing you didn’t have to go against Midoriya and Todoroki or Bakugo and Kirishima. They’re power was a lot and you really didn’t want to break any bones today, but fate still ended up hating you and the last fight was against Shinso and Denki.
You could almost feel the smirk through the mask, the capturing weapon surrounding his pretty little neck. “Ready to lose Y/n.” You didn’t speak, knowing exactly what he was going to do.
Denki had come full force at the two of you, you quickly with ease touched him as he swung for Mina who slyly escaped using her acid. You brought the boy up, whispering in his ears a few fatal words, before he stormed at Shinso with his quirk. “Using my teammate against me, so callous of you.”
You still hadn’t spoken, Mina hated how he toyed with you but still remained further away that you did.
“Shinso.” Denki shouted but that was Shinso’s cue to use his own quirk, it went on back and forth using Denki before he overexerted himself and stayed on the ground. Knowing you’d have to make this quick, you ran up to the boy ready to touch him.
But you felt the cool alloy wrap around your bones, Aizawa had seen the progress Shinso had made using them and he was impressed. He was still rough and needed a lot more practice, but he was able to hold onto you with confidence. You tried to get out, but he had made your cape wrap around your skin making his scarf able to not be controlled by you, you were all wrapped up for him in a pretty little present.
“Say the magic words.” He mocked out.
You huffed taking a sign before speaking, “let me out…please.”
He let you go and had begun controlling you, bringing you this time closer to his body. “You did good.” He stopped brainwashing you and you came out of your daze.
“Being under you brainwashing is creepily good, it’s like an out of body experience.” You spoke highly praising the boy before hearing Aizawa dismiss you all.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He laughs walking with you to the changing rooms.
You wanted to ask about his new friendships as it seemed to have been him become a lot more comfortable than you had expected, “you made friends with Denki and them lot.”
“Yeah, they seem okay, even that Bakugo he makes some good points, he’s still arrogant though.” You laughed cocking your head back at the remark.
“That describes him to the T.” You partnered ways getting changed and meeting each other outside to walk to the dorms
He spoke about Denki inviting him to read some Shojo manga, and you couldn’t wait to hear that story. He was even your neighbour which you were happy about, knowing that there was only a thin wall between the two of you.
The days continued on as usual, you spending more and more time with Shinso, the class becoming more comfortable with him, even Midoriya was friendly saying Hi’s in the mornings which Shinso would reply with. It seemed like everybody was growing on him, everybody except Mina and Momo, there was a sense of air that you were still infatuated with him.
They remember your exact words from the sports festival, “his quirk looks kind of scary, I’d rather die then fight him.” You had said it jokingly, but they took it literally and couldn’t understand why you were as scared as they were. They saw the look of evil in his eyes, but the class had moved past, and they seemed to be the only ones left. They were your friends, of course they were but the way they had been acting had made you distance yourself just for them to cool off.
Another fast long week had approached, and it was finally time for the movie night that was occurring, Shinso had walked down with you, the purple hoodie encased his frame with the grey joggers. He had been in awe when you came out of your room in shorts and a zip up hoodie seeing the peak of a tank top underneath. You really did look perfect in anything; it was the moment he knew that he had begun falling for you deeper.
“Denki showed me this Shojo manga, he said you’d read it.” You began to think of the manga’s you had read which happened to be a long list. “Kiss him, not me.”
“Oh yeah, it’s sappy, I love it though, we should watch the anime.” You hadn’t realised what you said but it was obviously an invitation into one another’s rooms to watch a romance anime.
Shinso tried to surpress his cheeks from flushing but continued on speaking, “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Of course.” You laughed meeting the class who had set up in front of the TV, you grabbed the hoodie sleeve of Shinso’s pushing him onto the end of the sofa as you sat beside him. “Now if I fall asleep, I won’t be embarrassed.”
The thought of you falling asleep on him, made his heart beat. He felt butterflies at how you were already partially leaning against him, he watched Mina and Momo glare from the other side, ignoring it though. The movie had started something Bakugo had chosen after winning rock paper scissors, it was disturbing to say the least and you knew you’d end up falling asleep through the second part of it.
Iida had paused the film for breaks being the efficient man he was, Shinso stayed put as you went to get a glass of water. Mina following, “Y/n, why have you been so distant with me?” She was worried for the friendship, had Shinso made you like this?
“Oh, have I, I didn’t realise.” You speak taking a long sip of the water.
“Yeah, you have, did Shinso do this to you? Are you like under his control?” It was unexpected and you choked on your water in shock.
You were trying to keep a lid on your anger, but you had given up, “Mina stop being a fucking bitch to the boy, he hasn’t done anything to me, everybody has warmed up to him except you and Momo and it’s driving me crazy to have to step on egg shells around you. He isn’t a villain okay.”
Her mouth was wide and at your shouting the class had gathered, even Shinso who had heard the last part. Denki put a reassuring arm on his friends shoulder before waiting for Mina’s reply, who hadn’t realised the presence of others.
“He’s probably controlling everybody Y/n, you told me and Momo you would never want to fight him, why would you say that and befriend him?” You thought back to those words you had said months ago.
“I can say I wouldn’t want to fight him because I’m glad he’s on our side.” You muttered, “he’s not controlling all of, stop acting like this.”
Mina tried to move closer to you, but you put your arm out to stop her, “can’t you see we’re all scared of him; he’s going to end up a villain.”
Shinso broke at those words, he coughed making Mina realise what she had said, the faces of 19 angry faces glaring at her. Shinso began to speak and Mina was scared shitless, “I’m going to head up early.”
“Shin…” He moved past everybody walking away, he wasn’t in the mood for confrontation and now all he could think about was you, why weren’t you scared of him, why were you so kind to him?
You barged past the girl, “don’t fucking talk to me until you apologise to him.” You ran to follow the boy who had already taken the elevator, you thought over the scene and he needed someone.
Walking towards his door, you knocked waiting for him to open it, he looked sad, upset even. You didn’t know what to say seeing his glum face, “she shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s the truth though, isn’t it, I’ll always be seen as a villain.” You went to reach for him, but he took a step backwards, “that’s the thing, I don’t understand though.”
“What, Shinso?” You questioned closing the door and leaning against it.
“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Your eyes widened.
“Why would I ever be scared of you?”
He came close to your smaller frame, his arms crossed above your head leaning down to meet your eyes. “My quirk its not very hero type now is it.”
“Shinso, I never cared about your quirk, yeah its cool but I saw you, for you not your quirk.” You rested your hands on his chest, hoping to bring comfort.
One of his hands, moved to your cheek, caressing it softly and slowly. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to know that I like you for you.” You hadn’t meant for a confession of your crush to come out, but you stopped caring, you liked him, you really did, and you didn’t care if Mina and Momo didn’t. They would have to acknowledge it one way or another.
His other hand moved your hair away from your face, “you’re lucky then.” He moved his face closer to yours, you could smell the caramel popcorn fresh from his breathe.
“Why?” You tilted your head waiting for the gap to close.
Just as his lips skimmed yours, he spoke softly, “that I like you for you t…” He never finished his sentence, instead kissing you softly, your soft lips engulphed within his own. Your hands in his hair as he brought his hands to grip your waist. He felt every inch of you in that one kiss, hearing a soft moan which allowed his tongue to take the lead and make you own submit. It felt intoxicating and heavy, with teeth on teeth and his grip tightening against your waist. He wanted to feel you on him, he didn’t care what the two girls thought of him anymore because he had you and that was all he ever needed.
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i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x
if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx
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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.
For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell
fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one
i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft
that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you
tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again
as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)
hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s
holy shit yes.
SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe
superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'
does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom
it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.
I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?
as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)
somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.
and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!
babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence
babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to
JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT
again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song
The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian
oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag
soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"
i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage
Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?
don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)
What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk
stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.
This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it
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This is canon now @nctxrejects
lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out
idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family
bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another
I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.
yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.
Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings
smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn
Duke was adopted by Bruce?
not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?
True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live
true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?
apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome
ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.
ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut
lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash
oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man
while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.
dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie
magnum hot take
hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth
thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)
why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???
what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones
oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no
I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked
yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends
"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years
i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.
BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them
lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.
I am in love with your posts your honour thank you
omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?
The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john
Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian
yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
and what about it?
when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST
oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat
Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes
lmao i do too
I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it
he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.
you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank
babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)
ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something
that's a very good vocabulary upgrade
somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”
steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.
Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious
babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks
In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97
lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)
You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.
bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers
How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?
horrible, next question.
I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid
yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time
bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)
lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)
Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje
he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'
I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??
i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way
SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed
'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'
i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam
fair enough
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lesbianrobin · 3 years
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What do you think are the good and bad aspects of each season of ST?
ok 1. thank u for this question omg and 2. this answer may or may not be a mess, but either way it’s long (almost 7k words lmao) bc i’m insane, which is why it’s under a cut. it’s still by no means an exhaustive list but these are the things that just kinda came to mind.
also i realize you asked “good and bad” and i wrote this whole post as “strengths and weaknesses” which um. is not Exactly what you asked. but close enough <3 i also ended up including a lot of au ideas ksjdckmn bc like i personally hate when people say a certain plot or whatever was bad without suggesting anything that could have improved it yknow so whenever possible i tried to provide Some idea for fixing the issues i had with the show!!
season 1
strengths (this is probably gonna be the longest section but that’s because a lot of these strengths also apply to s2/s3 by default)
nostalgia and authenticity
this one’s pretty simple, but i think that season one did a good job of blending classic eighties media homages (such as the many many e.t./el parallels) with explicit pop culture references (such as mike’s yoda impression, mentions of the x-men, etc) to create a show that’s essentially dripping in early eighties nostalgia without it feeling too forced. before st, i think the most popular depiction of the eighties in mainstream media was that overly exaggerated neon scrunchie aesthetic from the mid to late eighties, and it was usually done in a comedic sense first and foremost. st took a different approach, instead focusing on the early eighties, a time that’s often ignored in favor of going either Full Seventies or Full Eighties, and i think that this choice likely resonated with adults who lived through the eighties and hadn’t yet seen something that felt quite so accurate to their own adolescence. a lot of young people who watched st were totally unfamiliar with this period of time, unfamiliar with books/movies like “stand by me” that st borrows from heavily, and i think st lent more seriousness to the eighties than most young people had experienced so far, and this was refreshing and interesting!
the use of dnd in the show is also quite genius in a way i’m not sure i can articulate?? it isn’t something Everyone would have played at the time, but it’s something that existed within a different context back in the eighties than it does today, and it really lent a sort of authenticity to the naming of the show’s sci-fi elements. like, of course these kids would name parallel dimensions and monsters and superpowers after these similar things in their favorite game! it just feels so real and it grounds st in our reality moreso than you might expect from the typical sci-fi or horror universe.
utilization of existing tropes
almost every single character in st clearly originates from some popular trope. the plot itself is riddled with classic eighties movie tropes. almost every single element of stranger things can be clearly traced back to some iconic eighties film or just to, like, overused horror/sci-fi/mystery/coming-of-age movie tropes in general. this might sound like a bad thing, but it really works in st’s favor! starting off with familiar tropes gives st the ability to easily create a lot of complexity and make a big impact by selectively deviating from those familiar, comfortable tropes!! while el’s whole plot, hopper’s character, etc, are all examples of this in action, i think the steve/nancy/jonathan plot is the greatest example. even from the start, the fact that good girl barb dies while nancy is off having sex with her asshole boyfriend is an incredibly thorough inversion of the most well-known horror movie trope in the book. how often do girls in horror movies have sex for the first time, walk home alone in the dark of night, and live to tell the tale? nancy and jonathan’s dynamic at first glance is a sort of classic “good girl meets boy from the wrong side of the tracks, discovers he’s actually got a heart of gold” thing, but instead of following this well-trodden path, st diverged. nancy is brash, impulsive, and at times downright insensitive. jonathan is angry, bitter, and actually a bit of a creep at first. while they have the capacity to emotionally connect and support one another, they can also bring out each other’s darker side, which is not what we’ve come to expect from that initial tropey dynamic.
in addition, steve, the popular rich asshole boyfriend, is actually... a human being! unlike the cartoonishly evil jocks that we’ve come to expect (especially from eighties movies), steve has complexity. despite his initial immaturity and selfishness, he’s also kind to barb, he backs off when nancy says no, he’s gentle and sweet when they sleep together, his first big Dick Move of the season is in defense of nancy, he realizes the error of his ways after the fight and does what he can to fix it, he’s worried about nancy when he sees that she’s hurt at jonathan’s house, and to top it all off, he ends up saving both nancy and jonathan’s lives when he could have just walked away, and the three of them all work together to fight the demogorgon. like... steve began as the most stereotypical character of all time, and by the end of the season, he had one of the most compelling and unique arcs among the whole cast!
finally, at the very end of the season, instead of dumping steve for jonathan as expected, nancy ends up getting back together with steve, and they’re both on friendly terms with jonathan. i realize that i just kinda. summarized s1. but my POINT is that i don’t think the dynamics between the monster hunting trio would be nearly as fun and interesting had the characters of nancy, steve, and jonathan not been set up to follow certain paths that we already had charted in our own heads. like, within the first couple episodes of s1, it’s pretty obvious that nancy and steve are gonna break up, nancy will get with jonathan, and steve will either die or go full evil or just never be seen again. like, duh! you’ve seen this story a million times! you know that’s how it’s gonna go! so, when the story DOESN’T go that way, the impact of each character’s arc and the relationship dynamics become stronger due to their unexpected complexity and authenticity. 
distinct plotlines separated by age group
this one’s rather obvious, but the way that the adults in s1 were essentially in a conspiracy thriller while the teens were in a horror flick and the kids were in a sci fi power-of-friendship story and all three converged at the end... wow. brilliant showstopping etc. not only was it just really well done and unique, it also gave stranger things near-universal appeal. like, there’s genuinely something for pretty much everyone in season one!
casting
obviously this applies to every season sorta by default, but when i think about what made season one So successful, i always think about the cast, and not just winona ryder. yes, she’s absolutely amazing in the show and it’s very doubtful that st would be as big as it is today without her name being attached to it from the start!! however, i think the greatest determining factor in st’s success is the casting of the kids, particularly millie bobby brown. like... el is just absolutely incredible. she’s amazing. this has all been said many times before so i won’t harp on it, but millie and the other kids are all So talented and charismatic and i think their casting has been instrumental to the show’s success.
strong visuals
the way that multicolored christmas lights which have been around for decades are now kinda like. a Stranger Things thing. jesus christ. those lights are probably the biggest stroke of stylistic genius on the show.
atmosphere and setting
this is probably like. the least important one here for me sdjncdsc because i think s2 and s3 both had like Even Better atmospheres and shit but s1 was good too and it laid the groundwork!! i know a lot of people would have preferred st be set somewhere more Spooky with lots of fog or giant forests or whatnot, and while i do enjoy thinking about alternate st settings and how they might alter the vibe, i think hawkins indiana was a good choice. as the duffers have said, placing stranger things in a fictional town allows them more flexibility than if they’d gone with their original plan of using montauk, new york. besides that, i think the plainness and like... flatness... of small-town indiana just Works. like, the fact that hawkins is never really scary on the surface is a big part of the horror in the lab’s actions and their impact. hawkins isn’t somewhere that people just disappear all the time. it isn’t somewhere known for strange occurrences (prior to s1, that is). it isn’t somewhere shrouded in mist and secrecy. hawkins on its surface seems like the sort of place with no secrets and nothing to fear, and that’s the point! the lab is out in the open! it’s right there! everything is so close to the surface, yet so far out of the public eye, and i think that really works.
the byers family’s whole deal (specifically the joyce/jonathan dynamic)
this is going here bc i miss it so bad in s2 and s3. i’m not one of those people who believe The Byers Are The Whole Point of the show, because st is and always has been an ensemble, and el, hopper, and the wheelers are just as instrumental to the plot as the byers, but ANYWAY, i do think the byers were one of the most interesting aspects of s1. joyce’s difficulties with supporting her sons as a poor and (implied mentally ill) single mother, jonathan’s stress as a result of having to earn money, care for his brother, and keep the house in order when his mother is unable to do so, and the resulting tension between them when will’s disappearance and supposed “death” brings the situation to a tipping point? holy shit! it’s so good! that argument after they see will’s “body” is just incredible and gut-wrenching. their relationship feels so real and messy and i think it’s just... good. also winona ryder REALLY acted her heart out and she carried a lot of s1 which i think people often forget to mention so i’m saying it here.
weaknesses
pacing/timing
ok so pacing is probably going to go in each season’s weaknesses, to be honest, because i think they all had a blend of some good and some bad pacing. good pacing is invisible pacing, though, so i probably won’t be putting it in any of the strengths sections and will only be focusing on it in the weaknesses. i’m also probably not going to talk about weird day/night cycle things, just because i don’t want to get nitpicky on timelines because that would require going back and rewatching things to double check timing which i don’t wanna do at the moment lmao. anyway, when i think of bad pacing in season one, i primarily think of two things: nancy’s little trip into the upside down and subsequent sleepover with jonathan, and the sort of staggered nature of the climax in the final episode. the latter is simple so i’ll explain it first: while i understand that each group’s respective climax is like part of a chain reaction and that’s why each big moment happens separately and at different times, i think that st is strongest when the whole group is together, and i think that makes the stakes feel higher too, so i’m not In Love with the way s1 separated everyone and gave each group their own climax. 
okay, now on to the nancy/upside down thing! idk if i’ve ever talked about it before, but i think the worst decision made in s1 by far is the inclusion of nancy’s brief trip into the upside down, wherein she dives headfirst into another dimension with absolutely no backup, watches the demogorgon chow down, freaks out and runs around for a minute, and then leaves. like... what the fuck? even putting aside what an idiotic decision this was (because i do think nancy’s tendency to rush into things headfirst is an intentional and consistent character trait), it just kind of destroys any remaining suspense surrounding the demogorgon and the upside down, and it accomplishes basically nothing besides scaring nancy enough to have jonathan sleep over, which is lame. i will break it down.
like, first of all, nancy just getting to waltz in and out of the upside down and get a good, long look at the demogorgon makes the entire thing far less mysterious, and by extension far less scary. like... before this scene, we the audience haven’t got a good look at the demogorgon. we’ve seen its silhouette briefly and we’ve seen a blurry picture of it, but nothing more, and i think that is far more effective at building fear than this jaunt nancy goes on which gives us a full view of the thing and makes it into less of a horrifying nightmare and into more of a humanoid animal. like, maybe this is just me, but i found the demogorgon far less intimidating after that scene than before. it also lets nancy and jonathan know For Sure that they’re right without providing any crucial information that they need to fight the demogorgon (aka it’s unnecessary to the plot), which removes a very compelling story element (the faith nancy and jonathan need to have in order to keep going against a vague and poorly understood enemy, the doubt they might have about each other and their own sanity, the possibility that they might be wrong, the trust they need to have in each other) a bit earlier in the plot than i believe is ideal. at the end of episode 5, nancy goes into the upside down and jonathan doesn’t know where she is and it’s intense!!! you’re thinking like, oh fuck, not only is nancy missing and fighting for her life now too, jonathan might be implicated in her disappearance!! some people already think he’s the one who killed will and people know that he took creepy pictures of barb and nancy before they both disappeared, maybe this is gonna cause some serious problems for him!! maybe nancy will find will in the upside down and she’ll help him survive!! fuck, maybe she’ll actually die!! this is huge!! and then episode 6 starts and they’re immediately like oh nevermind jonathan found the tree and got nancy out and she’s fine. my point with all of this is that nancy entering the upside down could have done A Lot in the grand scheme of the plot, but all it did was just... get jonathan to sleep over so he and nancy could have some awkward romance moments and steve could see them together and pick a fight. which could have honestly happened at Any point while nancy and jonathan were working together to hunt down the demogorgon, without ruining the demogorgon’s and the upside down’s mystique. so yeah <3
weird behavior and dumbass decisions that make no sense (aka the whole camera thing)
gonna go off about the teen plot again sorry but: why was nancy so unbothered and quick to forgive jonathan for taking those pictures? girl what the fuck are you doing? why wasn’t that a bigger deal? why was jonathan’s motivation for doing it so weak and why did they just kind of forget about the whole thing? why did nancy TRACK HIM DOWN AT THE FUNERAL HOME while he was PICKING OUT HIS BABY BROTHER’S CASKET to be like hey can you tell me what’s in this creepshot you took? it’s insane. it’s so insane. i mean i think the funeral home thing is hilarious and i don’t mind it being in the show necessarily but like my point here is that i think a lot of character decisions in s1 just kind of.. happened because they Needed to happen for the plot. like, they wrote this plot that required jonathan to be secretly taking pictures of the party and required him and nancy to work together after seeing something odd in the pictures, but they didn’t like... really consider what that event would mean for their characterization and relationship. the whole thing was sort of just dropped with minimal discussion and i think it did both nancy and jonathan’s characters a disservice and was really mishandled.
lighting and saturation/color grading
i am literally begging horror/sci-fi shows to let me see shit. i GET IT okay i understand that when you’re doing cgi effects it helps to keep the lights down and i’m not mad at any of the lighting in the demogorgon/upside down scenes!! i’m really not i think the demogorgon scenes in s1 all look sick!! but like... dude. the colors. where are they. why does everyone look like a vampire. i know blah blah this was probably an intentional stylistic choice intended to mimic film at the time blah blah but dude a lot of old movies are very colorful!! please just let people have color in their faces so everyone doesn’t look like a sheet of paper!!! also i’m white and not a professional lighting designer so yknow grain of salt but i think lucas was kinda poorly served by the lighting sometimes in s1. not Hugely so, not to the degree that i’ve seen poc be poorly served by lighting in other shows, but there were some times where it felt kinda like the lighting setup was just not designed with darker skin in mind. 
horror
i just personally don’t find s1 very scary like... ever. i don’t think they were really Trying to be extremely scary yknow so i’m not counting this as a big deal, but i do think that each season has improved on the horror aspects. i think s1′s horror lies more in the mystery and the unknown than in what’s seen onscreen, and as i’ve said already, i think s1 kind of fumbled that suspense ball.
season 2
strengths
the possession plot
i’ll warn u rn this whole s2 strengths section is probably gonna be really short bc idk like. how much there is to really say i feel like it’s all so self-explanatory skjncmn. anyway yeah the possession plot!! eerie as fuck, and noah OWNED. so did winona tbh and finn and sean etc but like. noah. wow! i think the possession plot helped the show maintain a good amount of tension and suspense throughout the season, and a lot of scenes with possessed!will are flatout disturbing to watch. in a good way. i think the mindflayer and will’s possession were far more genuinely frightening than s1′s demogorgon, and it provided a new layer of depth and intrigue to the antagonist besides just “bad monster want eat people.”
tone and aesthetics
halloween season... literally halloween season. halloween season. that is all.
actually i will elaborate a bit and just say that i think s2 did a good job of having the sort of foreboding vibe that s1 was often going for, but without the annoying darkness and desaturation. so points for that.
also st2 is like one of the best Autumn pieces of media ever like it just. like steve and dustin on those train tracks with the fallen leaves all around them.... god. god the vibes are unparalleled. all of the halloween stuff also really contributes to the nostalgia st runs on yknow it makes you think about childhood and trick-or-treating and you kind of get transported like damn... i remember going to the rich neighborhoods to score the good candy..... idk i just think the whole thing is incredibly effective. 
“babysitter” steve
by sending nancy and jonathan off together, the show created a problem: what to do with steve? this problem pushed them to create the unconventional and unexpected duo of steve and dustin, and the world is so much brighter for it. seriously though we all know steve and dustin are great i don’t need to argue that point. all i’ll add is that i think allowing steve to grow in this way, serving as a mentor figure and becoming genuine friends with someone so unexpected, really took the originality of his character to the next level. no longer content just to defy his archetype, in s2 steve begins branching out in ways that never would have been considered in s1, creating an incredibly complex and interesting person from the sort of character that most shows would have simply written out or killed off for convenience’s sake. and it works and steve and dustin are such a joy to watch and i love them. <3
the lucas/max plot
so first of all max mayfield is the most perfect baby girl on god’s green earth and idk what i would do without her but anyway. i think lumax is the best romantic relationship in the show and not just because they’re the only ones with like an age-appropriate approach to the whole thing. it’s also because their relationship accomplishes more than just putting the two of them in a relationship!! lucas and max spending time together motivates billy to do his evil shit, providing more conflict in the narrative, and it also helps establish max as part of the group in a relatively natural way while giving both her and lucas a great subplot. lucas (and dustin) has a crush on the new girl, they start spending some time together, and lucas ends up needing to decide whether he’ll keep the secret of the upside down and lose her, or risk both of their lives by telling her the truth. that’s a pretty big, character-defining decision that he gets to make!! max has to choose whether to trust this boy she barely knows and endanger herself, or to walk away and stay safe, yet another great character-defining choice that also contributes to the sense we get as an audience of max as somebody who’s incredibly lonely and desperate for love and connection. this post is way too long already and i have a ton more to say so i’ll stop now but yeah i think lumax really Works in the show without ever distracting or detracting from the overall plot and narrative in the way that some other ships (coughjancycough) often do.
balance between the normal and abnormal
s2 i think did a pretty solid job of melding daily life with more fantastical sci-fi horror elements. i enjoyed seeing so much of the kids at school in the first few episodes!! you really get a strong sense of where they’re at in life, what their daily lives are like, and you get a sort of gradual shift into madness that makes everything feel more grounded than i think it would if they had just leapt straight into the horror shit, yknow? 
the el and hopper dynamic
go back and rewatch s2 and tell me that’s not one of the most moving portrayals of parenthood and trauma and growing up that you’ve ever seen. you can’t. or well you can but i won’t listen. i really can’t imagine stranger things without el and hopper’s relationship, and it’s my absolute favorite part of s2. their whole dynamic is so beautiful and complex, and gives them each amazing personal arcs in addition! the black hole scene is literally one of the show’s greatest moments of all time. any given scene between the two of them in s2 is just guaranteed to be heartwarming as well as heartbreaking, and i think that makes for an incredible show.
weaknesses
flashbacks
okay this applies to Every season they All have too many flashbacks but in s2 specifically... please stop showing me shit from season one. i watched it. i know what happened. you don’t need to spoon feed everything to me!! flashbacks can be a really helpful way of delivering information to an audience, but st has a bad habit of not only being kinda demeaning in how often they flash back to shit that the audience already knows, but they also have a bad habit of using flashbacks almost as a crutch to avoid having to deliver information subtly and naturally. 
you know i gotta say it... the lost sister
this is so sad. the lost sister really is like a great concept for an st episode, and i’m not mad about the idea of st taking a break from the normal action to focus on one story for a full episode, but the execution of it was just dreadful. kali and her crew feel very over-the-top and stereotypical, and its placement in the season totally kills the tension and excitement that was built in “the spy.” 
i think the lost sister honestly could have gone over far better, even with the stereotypical fake-feeling gang kali has, if they had just swapped it with “the spy” like... ok, the end of episode five has el setting off to find kali and will collapsing on the ground seizing. right? imagine if, instead of immediately following will to the lab, we’d followed el. we don’t know what’s happening with will, but it’s a very simple cliffhanger that leaves us on edge without making us feel cheated by the show cutting away. we follow el on her little journey, everything happens much the same as canon, and then at the end, el sees hopper in scrubs. she sees mike, screaming, sees that they’re both in danger. holy shit!!! what the fuck!!! what’s happened since we left will seizing on the ground??? we feel el’s fear and confusion. she decides to go home. and then... boom. “the lost sister” is over. now, we rewind, right back to will seizing on the ground, and “the spy” commences. we learn how they got into the danger that el saw in the end of “the lost sister,” and we sit on the edge of our seats all through “the spy” and “the mind flayer,” KNOWING that el is on her way back to save them but not knowing when she’ll arrive!! idk i don’t think that would have necessarily saved lost sister but i think it may have alleviated some of the issues that i and many others have with it, timing-wise.
the nancy/jonathan sidequest
once again, the idea of nancy going off on her own little mission to find justice for barb after s1 is like. amazing. genuinely i love that plot for her and i can’t imagine anything better for her to have focused on in s2. unfortunately though i think her and jonathan’s little trip to see murray was just kind of... lame. the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the two of them alone together, yknow? which is fine i guess people contrive all sorts of situations to get characters alone together for romance reasons but in this case i think it just really doesn’t work for me because of what it’s juxtaposed with. like, will is POSSESSED, and jonathan is just off on a mini road trip and sleeping with his bestie, and jonathan never seems to communicate to joyce/will that he left town, and joyce never like... thinks to tell him that will is like sick and fucked up and they’re looking at him in the lab??? like it’s so weird i know joyce always forgets about jonathan when shit’s happening with will but jfc you’d think at some point in that like... 72-ish-hour period where jonathan was out of town she would have thought about him. like at least once. maybe i’m forgetting something and she mentioned him sometime and i missed it but even still, i hate the juxtaposition of nancy and jonathan just like cheers-ing at murray’s place and sleeping together and whatnot while everyone else is dealing with possession or trying to hunt down dart yknow? it feels really boring in comparison and i think it could have been done far better. like it was SO insanely easy for them to get into the lab and get an admission of guilt and escape with it!! i think it might have been a lot more engaging if maybe someone from the lab tailed them to murray’s place and they had to like lose the tail and race to get the recording out to as many news outlets as possible before they got caught, or something like that. the tension in their plotline is completely resolved in episode four!! episodes five and six are just them screwing around and addressing envelopes. while there were a lot of strong ideas in this plotline (i really enjoy nancy going out of her way to get justice, and the fact that they have to water down the story to make it believable), i just think the focus on nancy and jonathan getting together hindered it a lot without adding a ton to the plot or their individual characters.
season 3
strengths
starcourt mall as a setting
while i don’t think the mall was utilized quite to its full potential (something i could make a separate post about if anyone’s interested), i do think that starcourt was a genius addition to the series. i’ve said this before, but building a new mall is a literal Perfect in-universe justification for a significant leap forward in fashion and aesthetics, and it provides a great location for characters to just... be characters. idk how else to articulate this i just think that the mall is a great setting to let people interact with each other and to bring people together who may not have been otherwise (i.e. scoops troop). not to mention how sick it was to see the mall get wrecked toward the end kdjncdkm like they were able to do so much more with the mall in terms of like The Finale than they could with just the byers house or the cabin or the school or even the lab. i love all the back tunnels they run through it’s such a fun like acknowledgement of how this glitzy eighties mall is just a real place where employees get shipments and take out the trash and shit idk it’s all about the perfect facade and what’s hidden what’s underneath what’s hiding in plain sight etc etc i’m just saying words now. anyway. 
willingness to experiment and go against expectations
gay robin. neon aesthetics. giant fucking meat monster. i know some people hate both the neon and the meat monster but i personally think they were kind of amazing and like. yknow regardless of personal tastes i think it’s impossible to deny that s3 had a lot of incredible visuals, and they’re all visuals that just wouldn’t have been possible if the show were too afraid to stray from its s1 aesthetic. robin being canonically gay (and her resulting friendship with steve) and the season’s striking visuals are two things that most everyone (besides like homophobes skjncdknm) can agree were great, right? and they were both departures from where the show began and what we all expected!! so yeah i think while some of the experimentation in s3 wasn’t ideal it was also that experimentation that allowed for some of the season’s strongest elements to come about.
the hospital sequence (and the season’s action/horror scenes in general)
this one is fairly self-explanatory. while they may have underutilized the “body snatching” element of the season, the hospital sequence with nancy and jonathan fighting off their possessed bosses did an amazing job of building tension and creating a genuine sense of really intense and personal danger.
in general i think that s3 melded action and horror rather well, particularly in the sauna test, the hospital, and when the mindflayer busts through the roof of hop’s cabin. horror can come from many things, and in this case, st elicited horror largely from the feeling of helplessness, and it was really effective for me personally. i think it worked better for me than s1′s brand of horror because it doesn’t rely so much on a lack of knowledge or a sense of suspense that inevitable disappears upon a second viewing.
the body horror we got in s3 was also really fun! that’s it i just think all the blood and guts and slime were fun and i would like more of them. once again, the impacts of body horror are less dependent upon the viewer being in the dark or unsure as to what’s happening, and as such i think it tends to be a little more effective at eliciting reaction in the long term.
timing and mechanics of the battle of starcourt/finale
i think the battle of starcourt is just fucking awesome, and beyond that personal opinion, i think it’s the most high-stakes and intense finale of all three seasons, and this is for two main reasons! 1. el is out of commission, and 2. (almost) everyone is in the same cental location. this means that (almost) everyone is in danger all at once, and they are all working together at the same time to fight the same threat. s1/s2 have their groups more fragmented for the finales, and while i understand why in each case and i wouldn’t call either season’s finale necessarily weak, i do think the centralized nature of the s3 finale just Works on another level. in s1 and s2, large segments of the cast are already perfectly safe by the time el dispatches the primary threat. in s3, however, everybody save for dustin and erica is still in danger up until the last moment, and el is seemingly (you can def debate how much power she still had in her when she peeked into billy’s mind and whether the memory broke the mindflayer’s hold on him or if she was actually controlling him to some degree) completely vulnerable. this increases the tension and raises the stakes, making the finale a real crescendo to fortissimo as opposed to a series of little mezzo forte moments. i hope everyone reading this knows music idk how else to phrase that my brain is stupid.
emphasis on friendship and adolescence (but in a different way than s1/2)
this is definitely a controversial one but i think that s3 really did like... show a side of friendship that had been more or less unexplored thus far in the show. el and max were amazing, and i think it’s really nice that we got an opportunity to see the kids have some growing pains as well as see them support each other through Normal Adolescent Stuff like boyfriends and breakups instead of just like. death and trauma. this is maybe just a personal preference, but i think it can be really enlightening and provide a lot of depth when you get to see how characters respond to normal everyday conflict and not just how they respond to giant world-ending conflict!! letting el use her powers for goofy teenage shit like spying on boys and messing with mean girls at the mall is not only fun for her and the audience, but it also really emphasizes just how much those powers are a part of el, making it that much more devastating when she loses them at the end of the season. 
weaknesses
tonal dissonance
so this is like. obvious. but it must still be said! i won’t go on and on about it since we all know this so i’ll try to like talk about it from an angle people don’t usually? anyway. it seems to me like they were maybe a little worried about s3 being too dark. while the choice to really lean into humor was definitely driven by the sorts of eighties teen films from which s3 drew inspiration (like fast times at ridgemont high), i think it was also done in an attempt to alleviate the more troubling implications of some events in the season, particularly the russian bunker plot. like, yeah, st can be incredibly dark, but if they’d played the whole “children being stuck inside of a foreign military base, tied up, tortured, and drugged” thing completely straight without the humorous elements that exist in canon, it had the potential to be like... disturbing on a new level. steve and robin don’t have powers like el yknow their kidnapping/torture doesn’t have any sci-fi elements to sorta soften the blow. they’re just innocent teenagers being brutalized and traumatized by grown men. so anyway yeah i think maybe the writers were concerned about this storyline coming off as too dark and they wanted it to be a little more whimsical but they ended up pushing way too hard in that direction and creating extreme dissonance at times. this goes for joyce/hopper/murray/alexei too, but to a lesser extent. i think the ridiculousness in that group felt a lot more like... realistic. but still. 
newspaper plot
once again i feel like i don’t even need to say this skjdncmn we all know it was insane how the show basically ended up delivering the message “while misogyny is a serious problem poverty and classism are not” and i’ve said it on this blog a million times so i don’t need to repeat myself. i’ll focus on another weak point of this plot: the fact that it completely separates nancy and jonathan from everyone else. once again, the show’s preoccupation with j/ancy held them back! like... can you imagine a version of s3 where nancy and jonathan both worked in the mall? i have a lot of ideas about this possible au and like how the plot could play out differently if they worked in the mall but first of all it’s just more realistic, second of all it further utilizes the mall as a central setting, and third of all, it would bring everyone together. as it is in canon, nancy and jonathan were unnecessarily isolated from the rest of the group, and this isolation was detrimental to both of their characters. like, they only ever get to interact with each other! if they’d gotten summer jobs in the mall, they could have had more interactions with the kids/steve/robin, and they absolutely still could have had a similar argument! maybe in this case, nancy notices the rat thing (or something else odd) herself when taking out the trash behind the mall, and she wants jonathan to ditch work with her to check it out bc she thinks it may be related to the lab. jonathan doesn’t want to ditch work because he needs his job, nancy argues that they’re working shitty mall jobs anyway and who cares if they get fired, and we get more or less the same thing as s3 without the cartoonishly over-the-top misogyny. i mean honestly i think the rat shit could have been cut entirely it didn’t rly... accomplish much of anything. in my opinion. like imagine s3 without the rat plot you literally would not be missing anything except it would be more surprising when the dudes melted into goo at the hospital. so yeah i think it would have been better if nancy and jonathan had jobs at the mall, weren’t isolated from everybody else, and were maybe absorbed into the party’s plot or the scoops troop’s plot from very early on, allowing them to interact with more characters and have a less... dumb.... plot. like god splitting up nancy and jonathan between the party/scoops troop would have been So Much better i just. sdkjcnksdmn anyway yeah.
briefness of group reunion/separation of groups
remember in s2 at the beginning of “the gate,” where mike and hopper had a confrontation and max and el met for the first time and el hugged everyone and steve and nancy had their sad little moment together outside... where’s that energy? obviously the s2 reunion wasn’t that long either, but it made space for some significant emotional moments to take place. s3′s reunion had some hopper/el/mike resolution, but besides that... there was nothing, really. i just think that the whole group getting together in s3 was SO exciting and powerful the way they did it (with both the scoops troop and the adults having their own Big Moment reconnecting with team griswold family), but the emotional potential was more or less squandered. 
i also think in s3 at times they were really stretching to keep everybody separated even though it made no sense. and like... in s1 the separation worked bc nobody else knew that (x group) was experiencing weird shit too, and beyond that, each group (as i mentioned in the s1 section) was sort of operating within their own genre and bringing something unique to the season. they’ve stopped doing that though! now, the groups aren’t separate bc each plot is tonally/structurally different, the groups are just separate bc... they need to be, because it’s a big ensemble cast and you can’t just have them all be together for a whole season or it would be way too difficult to coordinate things and keep the show dynamic. all this is to say that i’m excited for s4 because the location differences make it so there’s a Reason for each plot to be separate at the beginning, and i think that’ll work better.
general ridiculousness
i dont mean like i think it’s bad that they made jokes this is just me lumping in all the dumb shit like hopper not worrying about el and not wanting to check on the kids, him and joyce bickering long after they both know they and their children are in danger, max seemingly forgetting that billy is a racist abuser, etc etc. i think many of these are just a symptom of the show 1. trying desperately to keep the groups split up a certain way even though it may not make any sense, and 2. trying to fit into a certain genre/trope mold when their actual characters are more complex than the tropes they’re imitating. this is so fucking long already i am not gonna elaborate further rn but i trust u all know what i mean.
soooo... yeah, that’s about all! i mean it’s not all there are definitely many more things i could talk about and i know i focused sorta disproportionately on the teens which is my bad :/ but i’m done for now. thank you for asking, and apologies for the delay in responding!! i’m sure some people reading (if anyone read this far) will disagree with some of what i’ve said and that’s alright like i’m not The Authority on st or anything i’m just trying to talk about like my own thoughts yknow? so yeah luv u all i hope someone enjoyed reading this!!
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She-Ra High School Theatre Kid AU Headcanons
I made this because I am a theatre kid, and me and my sister were talking about Double Trouble being a theatre kid, so this happened. We basically came up with this entire au while we walked our dog.
Also I know none of this stuff would ever happen in real life, but it’s fanfiction, let me have this
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO
Angella as the director
Shadow Weaver as the assistant director
Horde Prime is the principal who is very not supportive of the arts
Hordak is the head of tech
Castaspella runs costumes
Huntara is the choreographer
Actors:
Catra - Has been in love with theatre since she was a kid, wants to be an actress when she grows up. She’s only ever cast as the villain/antagonist because she’s so good at playing those roles, but she’s not complaining. Shadow Weaver hates her and constantly talks down to her whenever Angella’s not around. Really good singer.
Double Trouble - Also in love with theatre. Brings the drama. Really good at whatever role they receive. Always competes with Sea Hawk for the lead role regardless of gender.
Sea Hawk - Theatre kid is his entire personality and he lives for it. Competes with Double Trouble for the lead role regardless of gender. Loves roles that get to do fight choreography. Has a habit of setting at least one prop, set, or costume on fire every show. No one knows how, and honestly, neither does he.
Glimmer - Director kid vibes, we’ve all met one. You know what I’m talking about. Usually gets a big speaking role, but not the lead. Jealous of Catra bc Glimmer thinks the villains get better songs. Catra agrees and holds it over her head constantly. Has a habit of being an “actor director” sometimes, but never in a mean or condescending way, and most of the time Angella was going to give the same note. Most of the time.
Bow - Actor/Techie. Auditions for a role, but if he doesn’t get one, he’ll do tech. He doesn’t have a preference, he just likes being a part of the process and being with his friends. One of the only basses in the department.
Mermista - Actor/stage manager. Even when she has a role in the current show, Mermista is still the stage manager bc she’s the only one who can deal with and control everyone’s shit(aka Sea Hawk level shenanigans). Actually a really good actor when she puts effort into her roles, but it has to be for a show she actually likes.
Kyle - Usually ensemble, but sometimes he has small speaking roles. Famous for breaking or losing props.
Techies:
Entrapta - Sound/lights. Works with Hordak, they’re close friends. He’s dreading her graduation bc she’s the only who actually understands how to run the systems. She insists she’ll be back tho.
Scorpia - Build crew. Stronk. Nuff said. Started bc she wanted to support Catra, and kept doing it bc she thought the head costumer was cute.
Adora - Also build crew. Again, stronk. Paints occasionally because that was her first choice, but they lack muscle strength in build. Can only get away with painting if Lonnie is there that day. Joined to watch Catra and Catra only. Has only listed to the songs that Catra sings in her role. Has never listened to a full Broadway album. Glimmer is disappointed.
Lonnie - Build crew. Not that interested but comes to support her friends when she doesn’t have lacrosse practice. Never runs a show, but watches every night.
Rogelio - Paint crew. Adora lost an arm wrestling contest to him, and he got first choice. She’s forever salty for it but too nice to argue.
Perfuma - Head of costumes. Castaspella and her get along great, they practically have the same personality. Crushing on Scorpia.
Frosta - Costumes. Cousins with Mermista. Comes bc she heard about the chaos and drama that goes down. Will run shows if she doesn’t have hockey practice.
Swift Wind - Fly.
Now for the plot:
The show for the year: Wicked
Cast
Glinda - Double Trouble
Elphaba - Catra
Fiyero - Sea Hawk
Boq - Kyle
Nessa - Glimmer
Madame Morrible - Mermista
The Wizard - Bow
But then two tragedies occurred
Tragedy 1: Angella had to step down as director bc Micah was in the hospital or something idk
Tragedy 2: 2 days later, Sea Hawk breaks his leg pretty bad and he won’t be better in time for the show
Le gasp
So Shadow Weaver takes over as director
Some Shadow Weaver background info: She was a famous actress many years ago and thinks this high school production stuff is below her. She still has a lot of connections to the professional world that she uses from time to time. She wants Adora to follow in her footsteps as a famous actor despite Adora being an incredibly bad actor. She hates that Adora does crew and not acting, but couldn’t do anything about it. Until now.
Now that she’s director and they’re down a Fiyero, she basically forces Adora to play Fiyero, despite the other capable actors who could’ve done it and Adora’s own protests. Think something like: “why can’t bow do it? I’ll be the wizard if there really aren’t enough actors!” “Oh no, bow is the only one who can hit the wizards notes bla bla bla”
Adora doesn’t want to do it, but she also doesn’t want the department to not be able to do the show. Plus she would get to hang out with Catra a lot which would be cool
I’m guessing you can already tell where the conflict is coming from, but we had some very clear ideas of stuff that happened, like
Adora was behind bc she wasn’t going to play the role originally, she’s never acted before, and she can’t dance. So she has a lot of one on one practices with Huntara, the choreographer. Before getting the role, the only practices Adora would watch if she didn’t have crew were the dance practices. She went purely to watch Catra, but Catra thinks that she has a crush on Huntara.
Tension and miscommunication, y’know?
Bow and Glimmer are both very supportive but also nervous bc they know that Adora is extremely bad at acting
Sea Hawk has never seen Adora try to act before, so he doesn’t see what the issue is. Once he’s well enough to go to school again, he comes to every rehearsal even tho he can’t be in the show. And then he sees. And then he’s like, oh no.
But he tries to be supportive and pump Adora up.
Adora is feeling a lot of pressure bc of her new role and doesn’t want to screw things up for everyone.
Catra is a little pissed off that she’s been paired up with someone who can’t act for her senior show, so she’s a little snippy at first, and Adora is tense, and it’s a mess
But Shadow Weaver doesn’t care, and ends up blaming every problem they have during an acting scene with Adora and Catra on Catra, even though she’s the best actor in the department. Because ✨favoritism✨
And you know, they do the whole hot-cold, she hates me, she’s cute, I love her but she doesn’t like me, bla bla bla throughout the course of the show
A week before opening night, Shadow Weaver makes things worse by mentioning that she invited her friend who’s a talent scout to watch the show. Shadow Weaver wants the scout to help get Adora into the acting business.
Catra wants to use this opportunity to get her name out there, so she needs her performance to be perfect
Which is hard to do when her love interest couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag
It’s two days before the show and they still haven’t practiced the kiss scene. Every time they brought it up before, like “should we practice the kiss? I mean, only if you want we don’t have to”, they both got the impression that the other didn’t want to kiss them
(Useless lesbians)
So it’s 2 days before the show, and Shadow Weaver is like, you gotta practice the kiss
So they kiss, and Catra is like, whoa she’s a really good kisser, so she’s quiet after the kiss
And of course, Adora takes that silence as “she hated the kiss and she hates me” as you do
So their practices the next two days are even worse than they were before
Finally, it’s opening night. The scout is coming and they’re out of time. Shadow Weaver ends up shoving Catra and Adora into a closet. She does her whole “you don’t want to let me, your friends, or the audience down do you? Whatever’s distracting you needs to go” to Adora, and then she turns to Catra and is like “fix what you’ve done, I know you sabotaged her you useless child. You’re going to be the reason this show goes horribly” and then she leaves
AND CATRA AND ADORA ACTUALLY TALK I KNOW IM SHOCKED TOO
Adora’s like, sorry I’ve been so weird the past two days, I just realized I really like you after we kissed, but I know you don’t feel that way about me, sorry if that makes it weird
And Catra’s like, Adora you idiot I love you
And they kiss
And Bow finds them still kissing in the closet 20 minutes before the show opens and rushes them to Castaspella to get their make up fixed
It ends up being Adora’s best performance because every time they’re about to go on for a scene together, Catra tells her to forget about the audience and just focus on her
The scout ended up liking Catra and Double Trouble a lot to Shadow Weaver’s disappointment
Facts that aren’t important to the main plot, but definitely happened
One time, before Sea Hawk broke his leg, Catra was trying out her harness for the defying gravity and other flying scenes, and Swift Wind, who does fly, accidentally dropped her and she landed on Adora
No Good Deed was the best moment in the show, and the amount of emotion Catra was able to put into her performance during that song was a little frightening but also made a lot of people tear up
The second best scene in the show was surprisingly As Long as you’re Mine, because Adora was actually able to forget about the audience and just focus on her love for Catra
The show last year was Mean Girls. Catra was Regina. Glimmer was Gretchen(you can’t argue that she doesn’t give off, “I don’t think my father, the inventor of toaster stroodle, would be very pleased to hear about this” vibes). Mermista was surprisingly amazing as Karen, and played her deadpan perfectly. No one knows how she did it. Sea Hawk was Cady, Double Trouble was Janice, and Bow was Damien. They reference their experiences during this show during Wicked, but the only thing Adora remembers about that production is how hot Catra was during World Burn.
Ironically (or unironically, idk), Glimmer once said “I don’t think my mother, the director of the show, will be very pleased to hear about this” to an actor who was found sabotaging Catra’s mic for the show before Mean Girls. Catra thought Shadow Weaver put her up to it but there was no proof.
Princess Prom but making it Dancing Through Life
Or is it Dancing Through Life but make it Princess Prom
If someone wants to write this, please do, just send me the link so I can read it! I would write it myself but I’m lazy lol.
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spine-buster · 3 years
Text
peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | one
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A/N: Here’s the beginning of my new mini-series!  I hope you all enjoy it.  It will definitely be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared!  There will be five parts!
SUPPORT MY WRITING HERE: https://ko-fi.com/spine_buster
CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.
                                                                   *     *     *     *     *
Brock Boeser felt like he was at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, with everybody around the circle introducing themselves and their similar predicaments.  The group was in a big meeting room at the local community centre, and when he walked in, he saw a group of dads playing basketball in the gym.  He sort of wanted to join them instead of being here, in this room, with all these people that he didn’t know talking about what they were going to talk about, but he’d done this back in Minnesota, at his mother’s behest with his siblings, and he was going to do it here, too, in Vancouver, to make her happy and ease her mind and to make sure that he was easing his own mind.  
“Um, hello everyone.  My name is Brock Boeser.  I’m from Minnesota, but I’m living in Vancouver.  And um, I’m here with you all because my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.”
“Hello Brock,” everyone smiled at him, and he smiled and nodded back.
“So it was your dad that was diagnosed,” the leader, a kind, older woman named Esther who had greeted him at the door and stuck with him until everybody sat down, egged on a conversation.  He knew she was doing it because he was new; everybody in this room probably already knew each other.  A part of him actually wondered if anybody knew who he was.  “When?”
“Um, he—he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2010,” Brock revealed, stuttering it out.  He knew he’d have to be open at these things – open so people could empathize with him, open so he could empathize with others – but it was still tough for him to do so.  “But he—it’s—it’s not just Parkinson’s.  Two years after he was diagnosed, he was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury.  In 2017, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He beat it but then in June it returned to his liver and chest.  In July, he had a heart attack and his heart stopped beating for 15 minutes.  I was with him and—I—it’s—it’s a lot, as you can imagine,” he tried not to start crying right then and there.  Imagine that – first meeting with a Parkinson’s Society of BC support group and he’d bawl like a baby.
“Goodness me, Brock,” Esther said.  “He has support at home?”
“Um, well, money isn’t an issue now, but when I was growing up my mom worked three jobs to make sure we were all taken care of,” he revealed.  “I’d pitch in too wherever I could, obviously.”
“But it’s been tough for a number of years.”
Brock paused.  It had been tough for a number of years.  It had been really tough for a number of years.  He nodded his head.  “Yes ma’am.  I try to take it day by day.”
Esther nodded as well.  “I don’t know if you pray, Brock, but I know a couple of members around the circle do, and, well – you’ll be kept in all our prayers.”
Brock saw a few people nod their head.  Another older woman, probably his mom’s age, clutching a rosary; a Sikh man dressed in a casual suit; a younger woman, probably in her thirties, with short blonde hair.  He appreciated the sentiment.  He knew that people took prayer very seriously – that people suffering took prayer very seriously.  It was, realistically, one of the kindest things somebody could ever say to you: “I’m praying for you.”  “Thank you very much,” he said, nodding his head once.
***
There was an arrangement of cookies at the end of the meeting.  Even after the 90 minutes of everybody talking about their experiences and emotions, they apparently liked to stick around afterwards as well just to mingle.  It didn’t all have to be doom and gloom, he thought.  It didn’t all have to be about Parkinson’s or about sick people or losing your loved ones all the time.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about the news.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about sports.  The weather.  Anything.  Anything to make a connection with someone beyond something so tragic.  
After stuffing an entire Fudge-O cookie into his mouth, he looked up to see a young woman staring at him, holding her trenchcoat in her arms.  She was smiling to let him know she was friendly.  He was embarrassed because he knew she just saw him stuff an entire Fudge-O into his mouth.  “Hi,” he said, his mouth still full of cookie, the sound of his voice reflecting that fact.
“You’re Brock Boeser, right?” she asked sweetly.  “You play for the Vancouver Canucks?”
“Yeah,” Brock couldn’t help but smile.  He swallowed the rest of the cookie even though he didn’t really finish chewing it.  “That’s me.  Are you a fan?”
“My step-brothers are more so than I am,” she said.  “But I’m a fan of the team, yeah.  I’m Grace Gillespie,” she extended her hand to shake his.  “God, they’re not gonna believe me when I say I met you.  They’re gonna freak.”
Brock couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.  “Do you—I mean, do you want a picture?  I don’t mind at all.  I’ll sign an autograph on a napkin if you want me to.”
“Well…it’s a bit awkward to ask you at a Parkinson’s Society of BC meeting, but we could go to the Starbucks down the street and I could buy you a coffee.”
Brock was slightly taken aback at her forwardness.  He shouldn’t have been.  Girls came up to him all the time.  All the time.  And they were most definitely not shy.  But he wasn’t exactly expecting it to happen here, of all places.  A bar, sure.  Out with Petey or any of the other guys, absolutely.  But not here.  “Yeah…yeah sure,” he stuttered out.
“Then we should go,” Grace smiled.  She turned to look behind her.  Brock saw Esther picking up a few Oreos.  “Thank you for leading another great session, Esther,” Grace said.  
“Oh you are most welcome Miss Gillespie.  How is Hamish these days?  You didn’t speak much today.”
“He’s been doing fine lately.  His caregivers have been working around the clock for him.  They just work wonders, don’t they?”
Esther nodded.  “They are angels on Earth.  Anyways – we’ll catch up next week,” she said, leaning slightly on her leg to look beyond Grace and to Brock.  “I hope to see you here again next week, Brock.”
“Thank you, Esther.  See you next week,” he said, realizing he made the commitment before he could even realize what he was saying.
***
“I take that was your first meeting?” Grace asked as she set down the two lattes on the table against the window where Brock was waiting.  
“Was it really obvious?” Brock asked.
Grace shrugged her shoulders.  She didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious.  “It was the stuttering that gave it away, at least to me.  I know I stuttered a lot the first few times I came to these meetings.  I wasn’t the most comfortable talking about my dad’s condition to a room full of virtual strangers.  But within just a few months I realized the people in that room are the kindest, most empathetic, most amazing people that I’ve ever interacted with.  So I became a lot more open.”
Brock was transfixed by every word that Grace was saying.  “So you’ve been coming here a long time,” he said.
Grace nodded.  “My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was fourteen.  I didn’t start coming here until I was about eighteen, though.”
Brock knew he shouldn’t ask.  He knew he shouldn’t.  But his brain had ulterior motives, and his mouth – well, his mouth listened to his brain, because it apparently needed to know.  “Is your—is your dad like my dad?” he asked.  “Does he have, like, other problems complicating things?”
Grace shook her head.  “No,” she said softly.  “But the Parkinson’s is enough for him.  I mean he was diagnosed just short of ten years ago and he’s already on puréed foods.  It’s not—I mean, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t regularly develop that fast.  But that’s…I don’t know how you do it.”
Brock didn’t know either.  Some days he didn’t.  “I just take it day by day,” he said simply, just like he said in the meeting.  “If I think about it too much…that’s when it’s bad.”
“I hear ya,” Grace said, taking a sip of her coffee.  “But let’s…not talk about this for too long.  Do you like Vancouver?  Do you find it nice?”
Brock appreciated the change in topic.  “I love it here,” he nodded his head, smiling.  “The city’s great.  The fans are great.  My teammates – I mean they’re amazing.  What do you do?”
“I’m a dance teacher at Goh Ballet – little kids and teens, mostly.”
He wasn’t expecting that.  She was drop dead gorgeous, sure – Brock wasn’t blind – but he wasn’t expecting to hear she was a dancer.  “Do you, like, dance in the real ballet?”
Grace snorted slightly at his phrasing of ‘real ballet’.  “No.  I pursued it only up until a certain point.  I was good, but uh, I stopped when my dad got diagnosed.”
“Why?  Don’t they always tell people like us to have, like, an outlet or whatever?”
“They do.  But I loved my dad more than I loved dance.  And I would have rather spent the time that I was spending on dance with him instead.”
He understood where she was coming from, and he wasn’t there to judge her.  “And your brothers you mentioned, did they help too?”
“Oh no no no.  Sorry – I should have specified.  I’m an only child.  Like, the only child between my parents.  But they divorced when I was six and when my mom re-married I gained two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo.”
“How was the divorce?” Brock found himself asking.
“You ever see footage of a nuclear bomb exploding?” Grace giggled as she asked the question.  It caused Brock to laugh too even though the analogy she was making was dreadful.  “It was awful.  The type of divorce nobody deserves, you know?  I became a pawn, basically, and my parents would only speak to each other through lawyers.  Even stuff concerning me.  It was bad.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“It was.  But it’s the only life I know,” she said.  “He was lucky my mom ended up marrying another rich guy.  I mean, my mom only marries rich men,” she giggled slightly again.  “That’s how Jasper and Theo became my step-brothers.”
“So your family has money?” Brock clarified.  “What’s it from?  Dad a lawyer or something?”
“Not exactly,” Grace said.  “My dad and his brothers own a private equity firm that started like this,” she pinched her fingers together, “and went like…” she continued, spreading her fingers and moving her hands around her like a bomb explosion.  “Gillespie Brothers Investments.  I’m sure as a Vancouver Canuck you’ve heard of them.  I mean they wanted to buy the Canucks before the Aquilinis.”
Brock hadn’t heard of them, but he now knew he’d have to do some snooping when he got home. “I haven’t heard of them.  But I mean – sounds like they were successful.”
“Three billion dollars is pretty successful to me,” Grace quipped.
“B—Billion,” Brock sputtered out.  “With a B.”
“With a B,” Grace nodded.  Brock had no idea he was sitting across from the daughter of a billionaire.  She didn’t act like a billionaire.  Not like Brock knew what billionaires acted like.  He’d never met one before in his life.  Well, besides Francesco.  “But tell me more about what you like about Vancouver.  What about the nature?  I always kind of fine a good long walk along the Seawall or through Stanley Park really clears my mind from all…this.  What about you?”
Brock smiled.  “I find the white noise of downtown clears my mind.”
***
“You want my number,” Grace said as a statement rather than a question as she and Brock exited the Starbucks.  They were kicked out.  They’d been there for so long that they’d been kicked out because they were closing.  Their coffees had gotten cold.  They hadn’t ordered new ones.  And now they found themselves on the deserted sidewalk, jackets put on hastily, and Grace came up with that.
Brock looked down at her.  They’d been able to look into each other’s soul for the past few hours.  “Of course I want your number,” he said.  There was no reason to hide it.  No reason to deny it.  No reason to have to wait until next week to see her again as they sat around in a circle in a community centre talking about their parents.
He took out his phone.  She gave him her number.  He texted his name to hers so she’d have his.  When that dance was done, she looked up at him.  “I’m really glad I met you tonight,” she said, her voice sincere.
Brock nodded.  “I’m glad I met you too.  I—I really enjoyed this.  And I mean—I needed it.”
Grace smiled, nodding her head.  “I needed it too.”
“D’you—” Brock stopped, trying not to get too far ahead of himself.  “D’you need a ride home?”
“Oh no no, my driver is right there,” she motioned her head towards a black Mercedes waiting by the curb.
Brock hadn’t noticed the car until now.  “Chauffeur?”
“Billionaire dad,” she winked.  Brock understood.  She took a few steps back before smiling one more time.  “Call me,” she said, before flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking towards the Mercedes and getting into the backseat.  Brock watched as it drove off, making a right at the end of the street.
He would definitely be calling.
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