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analogwriting · 5 months

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It Comes in Waves

Chapter 16: Shoaling Trafalgar Law x gn!reader word count: 2.5k first|next

“Alright, alright. That’s enough,” Law finally said. Everyone pulled away, dispersing slightly. Bepo, being his usual self, apologized for his actions. You smiled, shaking your head. “Don’t say sorry, it’s not your mistake. You were just excited.” You felt Law stare at you - as he always did when you said those words. You wondered if he remembered you saying them to him all those years ago and that’s why he always looked at you the way he did as you said them.

“We should head to Catviper’s now!” You looked to Bepo, blinking. “Who?” Bepo looked at you with a smile. “Catviper! He is one of the kings of this island. It is approaching nightfall, so he will be awake soon.” You looked to Law who only shrugged. “Let’s go then,” he said.

Soon, you were on your way. Bepo filled you both in on what happened to the island - why it looked so devastated. Such a peaceful and happy island filled with pain and suffering just because some pirates were delusional in their own beliefs. It brought your mind to your own island. How it was destroyed because of one pirate’s delusions. Even if they did turn out to be true.

You felt a hand to the small of your back and you were yanked from your thoughts. You looked over, seeing Law. He was looking straight ahead, listening to Bepo, but it seemed as if he knew you were spiraling in your own mind and was trying to stop you. He removed his hand from you once you seemed to be back in the present but you still felt warm from where his hand had sat.

Eventually, you heard a commotion and everyone started running. Once you broke the treeline, you saw…quite the scene. You saw a large cat along with some other minks. It seemed they were all fretting over him. You heard Chopper’s voice ring through the air and you felt a pang of guilt. You had snuck out on him when you were supposed to be in his care. You owed him an apology.

“Traffy! Y/n!” Luffy’s voice suddenly rang through the air and you saw his figure waving at you. You smiled, returning the wave.

“Traffy, are those your crewmates?”

That’s right. This is my crew - twenty strong.” The rest of the crew chimed it. “Nice to make your acquaintance Strawhat!” Luffy nodded, holding a hand up in greeting. “Yo!”

Law walked over, beckoning you with him. “Strawhat, we need to talk.”

“Okay!”

The Heart Pirates seemed suddenly offended. “Is that all? The disrespect!” They all kept chiming. Law groaned. “It’s just an alliance - no one said you had to be friends!” You couldn’t help but laugh, looking at the crew apologetically. “I’m sure you all will get along fine.”

Bepo hugged you. “At least Y/n doesn’t disrespect us,” he said, rubbing his face on yours. You laughed, pushing him off slightly. “Okay, okay. I have to go, Bepo. But, I promise, Luffy doesn’t mean any disrespect. He doesn’t have anything to hate you for.”

Once out of the clutches of the polar bear, you headed inside. “About time, y/n.” You narrowed your eyes at Law. “Well, someone had to comfort your crew.” He narrowed his eyes right back at you. Then you both broke out into small grins before turning your attention back to the situation at hand.

Then Luffy dropped a bomb on you. You stood there - eyes wide in shock. Sanji was gone? You listen as he filled you in. You remember when you first met the cook. It was after Luffy had saved your life. He had offered to make you lunch and you both had a wonderful discussion about food. You remember introducing him to some of your native dishes from your island. They were recipes he had never heard of.

Ever since then, whenever you’d meet up with them, you would teach him some new dishes and recipes. It was your little bonding moment. You had those moments with each member of the crew.

“That’s why I think we should wait for the whole Kaido thing so I can go and get Sanji! We can’t do it without him!” Luffy frowned deeply. You knew how much he cared for his cook. He was wholly convinced that he wouldn’t be king of the pirates without him. He knew he was nothing without his crew. You respected him a lot for that.

“Well, we’re sitting ducks here. Kaido will come after us. We would’ve been able to hold out here, but it seems that they already know that we’re here. So, what are we supposed to do? If they come back, what’ll become of this country?” Law was making some pretty solid points. You didn’t want to get the innocent citizens of this island more involved than they already were. You felt bad for them - they had been through so much.

You suddenly heard cries from right outside the house and you jumped. When had all those minks gotten there? “You guys have such good hearts for worrying about us!”, “Are you sure you’re pirates?” You snorted softly. You wondered the same sometimes. Luffy had such a big heart - he wasn’t a normal pirate, that much was for sure. It seemed that Law was more like Luffy than he would probably like to admit. A couple of oddballs for pirates, that’s for sure.

“Let’s have a feast!” Catvipe suddenly announced. You blinked as everyone started cheering all of a sudden. They really were moving fast. One moment, you were talking about Sanji; the next, cheering about a feast. Luckily, it wouldn’t be until tomorrow, so you had time to recuperate.

You weren’t exactly sure how it happened, but you were currently in the middle of town, watching as Catviper and Dogstorm bow down to the sobbing child that you’ve been around since Punk Hazard, Momonosuke. What was happening?

He was a lord? In Wano? Your head was reeling and now you watched as Kin’emon explained very quickly. Everything happened all at once and now there was a ceasefire between the two kings and so much information was just revealed to you. Your own head was spinning.

“Momonosuke, if your father is a great lord,” you heard Nami begin, “then he must have a big castle with lots of treasure.”

“Don’t you dare!” you found yourself yelling with Usopp and Zoro. You couldn’t believe the audacity of her sometimes, but that’s also what made her Nami.

Once that excitement was over, you were tagging along with everyone to the giant whale tree. This day had been full of events and you were absolutely wiped. Too much excitement. This is why you only spent so much time with Luffy. He attracted so much attention - way more than you were used to. You could only take so much at a time…and you were way past your limit. What was even more was that you didn’t see this ending anytime soon. You needed to help with Sanji and seemed to silently agree to take down Kaido.

You felt someone tap your head, yanking you from your thoughts. You looked over, seeing Law adjusting his sword back on his shoulder. How did he always know? You rubbed your head a little. “Was it too hard?” You looked at him, shaking your head. “Ah, no. Just startled,” you said.

Your group made its way into the whale. In its depths you saw someone tied and chained up. This was the ninja that everyone had been so excited to see. Watching Luffy and the other’s physically deflate was almost enough to make you laugh. You even noticed a little bit of disappointment in Law’s eyes.

They started demanding he do “cool ninja stuff” and you watched as he shattered their dreams - telling them it’s not a parlor trick. They deflated further only for Raizo to begin to do just that, showing off his ninja moves like a parlor trick. Everyone started cheering and overall in awe. This was honestly the cutest thing you’d ever seen.

“Didn’t take you as a ninja fan,” you teased in a low voice, coming up next to Law. He looked at you with narrowed eyes. “Everyone is a ninja fan.” You grinned, shrugging. You weren’t going to lie - it absolutely was awesome seeing a real ninja in person. “You’re not wrong,” you mused before looking at him again. “Just didn’t expect you to be a secret nerd. Next you’re gonna tell me you collect comic books.” He was silent and hid under his hat - your eyes widened.

“YOU D-” He moved fast, his hand suddenly clamping over your mouth before you could draw too much attention to the two of you. Your eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t even,” he said in a dangerously low voice. You felt a shiver down your spine as you looked at him in those golden eyes of his. You were suddenly very aware of just how your bodies pressed together. You felt your heart race, but you pushed it all aside - letting out a giggle.

“Okay, okay,” you said, pushing his hand from your mouth. You grinned widely. “You’ll have to show me this collection of yours. What is it?” Law groaned, stepping away from you. “Not now,” he mumbled and you followed him. “Absolutely right now. You can’t just drop a bomb on me like that and expect me not to demand answers.” He turned around to glare at you once more and you just let out a wide, shit-eating grin.

You weren’t going to let him live this down and you could tell he knew that. The stoic grumpy doctor having a secret nerdy side? Charming, really. He groaned, turning his attention back to the situation at hand as you did the same. You would definitely be asking questions about it later.

You turned your attention back to the situation at hand, feeling eyes bore into the back of your head. Or the side. You looked over, noticing Nami’s face. Oh, if this wasn’t instant karma. Now, you wouldn’t hear the end of things.

Once more, information was absolutely flung at you. The history of the poneglyphs, where they were possibly located, information of Momonosuke’s father, Oden, and so much more. Your mind reeled again as you took in the information, but you had a mental note in your head when they mentioned Big Mom having one of the red poneglyphs. Looks like you’d be doing more than just saving Sanji there. You had also made the decision to go and assist Luffy in retrieving the cook.

It seemed everyone’s resolve to take down Kaido deepened as well. Everything seemed to be connected and connecting the more everyone spoke about it.

Suddenly, Kin’emon was bowing, begging Luffy and Law to help take down their current shogun in Wano and Kaido. You watched the scene fold in front of you. Luffy declined, making his crewmates protest, but you saw the look in his eye. “Hold on guys,” you tried, but your words fell on deaf ears. Then Luffy demanded that Momonosuke ask - to take the lead like he’s supposed to. A fond smile stretches across your face. You knew exactly what Luffy was trying to do even if the others couldn’t.

He even stopped the small lord from completely bowing to beg. Then, Luffy agreed to help. And just like that - a new alliance was formed. A sweet scene had unfolded and now a new alliance was created.

On the walk back, even more information was revealed to the group. It seemed that everyone had been more interconnected than you thought. It was insane how everything wove together almost perfectly. You were lost in thought when you heard a certain name that brought your attention back to the present.

Marco the Phoenix.

Your attention snapped back to Catviper who had mentioned going to look for him. You had been pretty close to Marco as well. He had patched you up plenty of times. He treated you like a younger sibling just as he did to most of his crew. You hadn’t seen him since the war and you’ll never forget the look he gave you that day. Your heart clenched.

You remembered hearing about the grudge war. You had been so worried about Marco since then. You wished you had went and sought him out but it just never worked out. Then they just disappeared. Hearing Catviper say he was alive and that he likely knew where he was - you felt relief in your chest. You let out a silent breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding.

After that, plans of what to do next were talked about. Some were going to Wano, Catviper was going to go find Marco, and the rest were going to save Sanji. Nami said she was going with Luffy. Brook and Chopper said they were going to. You spoke up. “I’m going too.” Luffy looked at you and blinked, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He knew he’d lose that battle.

Law, however, made a noise of surprise. You looked at him. “You got something to say, doc?” you asked, narrowing your eyes. You two started your own separate conversation. “I just don’t think you need to go.” Law shrugged.

“I-” You stared at him incredulously. Was he serious right now? “The hell am I going to do in Wano? I can’t just sit around while Luffy risks his life. I need to go and help.” He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You put your hands on your hips, not understanding what was happening right now.

“I don’t understand why you think you have any say in what I do. You’re not my captain.” He stared at you as you said those words. “You’re the one who said they’d join me if we met up again.”

“I said that I would if you asked. And as far as I know, you haven’t asked.” You glared at him and he pursed his lips for a moment. “And don’t bother asking now - that would be so unfair.” You said you’d join if he asked. The asking was a formality. If he asked, you wouldn’t have a choice but to say yes. He looked at you for a long moment. “You would lose me so fast,” you said in a low voice. “Shortest crew member time ever.” He clenched his jaw. You could tell he was pissed, but you didn’t care. You were never one who liked being told what to do and you weren’t about to let him start.

“If you think you can try to pull something - just don’t.” You warned.

Just then, the ground underneath you shifted drastically. You yelped as you stumbled, falling right into Law and both of you falling to the ground. It was like an earthquake but at a higher caliber. What the hell was going on?

#one piece #law x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x you #trafalgar d law #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #iciw #am fics

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danydragons21 · 9 months

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TSTS Chapter 34: The Hourglass

Read it on ao3 here.

Chapter 34: The Hourglass

Elain scented her sister before she saw her.

The eldest Archeron was in the library at the Mortal Manor, a book balanced between her palms, blue-gray eyes narrowed intently as they quickly and smartly scanned the page. She was so enraptured she didn’t even notice Elain, who was on her way back from Vassa’s quarters - she had just tried to intercept the queen at the start of nightfall yet again, unsuccessfully, of course - when she’d caught a whiff of Nesta’s signature scent: rich vanilla and silvery smoke and burning embers.

She had to call her sister’s name to get her attention.

“Nesta,” she said.

“Elain!” she replied, surprised. She snapped the book shut.

“What are you doing here?” If Elain was blunt, she didn’t much care. What was it with her family showing up unannounced, time and time again?

“There’s an impromptu meeting this evening to discuss the ball. We need to go over the plan and discuss a few…loose ends.”

Elain regarded her sister suspiciously. “Is it anything I should be worried about -?”

“Oh no, no,” Nesta reassured. “Just logistical things, mostly.”

“Oh.” Elain nodded. “Okay.”

They were both quiet for a long moment.

“So how have you -”

“I’ve been meaning to stop by -”

They spoke over each other, stumbling over their words, before resorting back to an uncomfortable silence.

Then Nesta sighed, heavily.

“It used to be so easy between us,” she said. “Don’t you remember?”

“Of course,” Elain replied warily. Of course she remembered. Nesta was her closest companion, the other half to her whole, for so many years. Even before their mother died, but especially after. Poor, sweet Feyre, always shunted to the side…but Elain and Nesta were inseparable. For a long time, Elain believed it was because her sister loved her more than anything else in the world. Now, she sees it for what it was: a love of control.

Nesta's eyes were sad. “The meeting is in an hour. I was hoping you’d like to spend some time together before…” the eldest Archeron trailed off.

What was she supposed to say? No, I’d rather not spend time with you, because every time I look at you I feel a simmering, boiling rage that I simply don’t know what to do with ? That would do no one a drop of good.

So instead, Elain nodded tightly and gave as genuine a smile as she could muster. “How does a walk around the Manor sound?” she suggested, and ignoring the stab of guilt she felt when Nesta’s worried expression brightened at her acquiescence.

***

After a slightly awkward albeit rather relaxing walk around the Manor, in which Elain intentionally avoided visiting the conservatory (Cassian might have been fooled by the fast growth of the flora but Nesta most certainly would not, and Elain was in no mood to answer difficult questions), the two sisters entered the doors to the grand atrium.

They were the last ones to arrive. Everyone else was already seated around the long table in the center of the room: Feyre, smiling brightly but tiredly; Jurian, his face tan and weatherbeaten, as if he'd been out in the field more often than not; Lucien, who was avoiding Elain’s eyes; Cassian, who was avoiding Nesta’s eyes; and Vassa, who was avoiding everyone’s gaze all together.

Elain couldn’t blame them. She was feeling slightly uncomfortable herself; it was the first time she’d seen Lucien since that night in the gardens, and it was the first time she’d seen Vassa since returning from her travels.

Not to mention it was the first time Cassian and Nesta had seen each other since The Incident . She tried to send a subtle, warning look to Cassian, but he wasn’t looking at her; instead, he was staring fixedly at the floor, as if even glancing at Nesta would make the secret come spilling out.

Whatever. He could handle things however he wanted as long as he stayed quiet. If he kept his mouth shut, there was no way Nesta could find out, right?

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her elder sister give her mate a curious, suspicious glance. Then she thought about how Nesta could always tell when she and Feyre were lying as kids, and her stomach started to hurt.

In an attempt to distract herself, Elain looked around the room. She'd only been in the grand atrium once before, at the very beginning of her stay at the Manor. Vassa had taken her. The queen said it was a hallowed sort of space used traditionally, reverently and sparingly for only the most prestigious of occasions - but it was also rather plain.

That is, except for the one piece of decor in the room: the gigantic hourglass embedded into one of the walls. It was filled with silvery sand that glimmered as it trickled down and protruded so naturally, so effortlessly, from the wall that it looked like it had grown there, like some sort of plant. Like some sort of rot.

Every time the sand in the top bulb emptied entirely, the hourglass - and the pieces of stone wall it touched - moved until the hourglass was flipped upside down, and the whole process started again. It was both impactful and beautiful.

“My father used to joke about why the first royals might have put the hourglass into the Grand Atrium,” Vassa had told her. “He said that it was obviously to keep track of time during long and tedious meetings, because if our ancestors were anything like me and my mother, then impatience was as in grain ed in them as the grains in the hourglass.”

Elain had smiled then, but she wasn’t smiling now. The hourglass did not seem beautiful anymore. It seemed more like a taunt.

The queasy feeling in her stomach intensified, but before she allowed herself to mull over it, she turned her attention back to the table. Everyone seemed to be watching Vassa, who was scanning the contents of several handwritten papers. Elain couldn’t help but notice the dark purple circles rimming the queen’s eyes.

“Notes on Koschei,” Feyre said in an undertone, noting Elain’s curious glance at the documents. “Amren, Rhys and I have been visiting different libraries throughout Prythian and finding every book on him we can. We haven’t found much information that is helpful, to be honest. It almost makes me wish we knew where Bryaxis was so we could ask it for details; I’m sure it knows plenty about Koschei, given that they’ve both existed for eons.”

Elain considered reminding her sister that they had enough to worry about without adding Bryaxis into the equation, but she just nodded instead.

“This is nothing I didn’t already know,” Vassa said, throwing the papers back at Feyre. “But that’s alright. I wasn’t expecting much anyway.”

Startled, her sister blinked. Elain felt similarly taken aback. She’d never heard Vassa sound so…uncaring.

“Well?” the queen asked, raising an eyebrow. Impatience laced her words. “Who wants to begin?”

“I can,” Nesta said. Then she cleared her throat.

“There are three levels to this plan,” she said, voice louder and deeper than before. The voice of the Captain of the Valkyries, dangerous and cool. But sometimes, when her sister spoke in such an authoritative voice, she was reminded of when they were little and Nesta would boss her and Feyre around the house like the little mother she was. Elain had to fight back a grin. Then she remembered that she was still angry at her older sister, and the grin faded away.

“The first level is the Bait,” Nesta said. With the world’s smallest, tensest grimace, she nodded toward Elain. “AKA, Elain.”

Everyone’s eyes turned toward her, and she did her very best to remain cool and collected, staring blankly into her sister’s blue-grey eyes.

Nesta tore her gaze away, jaw flexing, before continuing. “As we are all aware, Koschei believes Elain knows where the missing part of his soul is being kept. During the ball, we are going to use this to our advantage and leverage Elain to lure Koschei into a trap.

“Because of this, I’m sure you’ll all agree that a majority of our magical protection should go toward surrounding Elain,” Nesta said.

“Elain is the bait, yes, but what about Vassa? Have we forgotten the curse he put on her? Have we forgotten the promise he made to return her to that hellhole of a lake? Vassa must remain just as protected. What if he’s tricking us into who his true target is?” Jurian said, eyes gleaming fiercely.

“That’s a good point,” Elain murmured thoughtfully.

“I don’t think so,” Vassa said. “As soon as the power of the curse returns in full force, he will not have to trap me to get me to return to his lake. I will immediately be back under his enchantment. There will be no capturing or chasing or tracking that he will have to do. I will simply be gone.”

Lucien’s knuckles turned white. “No,” he said darkly.

“It is not something you can have an opinion on,” Vassa said sharply, refusing to meet his eyes. Refusing to meet any of their eyes. “It is simply the truth. So fine, put some level of protection on me, but the majority should be on Elain. He may not be able to control her mind, but he will try to get to her in other, more dangerous ways. I am an inevitable casualty at this point. Elain is not.”

“Don’t say that,” Elain said quietly, but the edge in her voice was all sharp steel.

Vassa remained quiet, as did the others, until finally Nesta resumed the plan.

“We will have a welcome ceremony the evening before the actual ball, with appetizers and cocktails and the like. We have more than enough rooms in the mortal manor to provide lodging for the guests. It’s the perfect way to get a feel for what we’re up against before the ball the next evening.

“When the ball begins, Vassa will make a welcome announcement. She will thank everyone for being there, and then specifically thank Elain for helping her with an unknown project. She’ll make sure to mention how dangerous the task is and how Elain is doing it out of the goodwill of her heart, along with her desire to keep all the courts safe from outside forces that might try and hurt them.”

“In short, she will place even more of a target on Elain’s back,” Jurian said flatly, but she knew him well enough by now to clock the worry lacing his tone. She felt a sudden rush of affection for the mortal.

“Sounds good to me,” Elain said, keeping her tone light. She didn’t want anyone to worry about her. “Keep going.”

Nesta continued on, Feyre and Cassian interjecting every now and then with more details. Lucien surprised them all with his cunning, thoughtful questions that poked holes in the plan - “ What happens if he hasn’t shown up by midnight? Do we have a backup plan if the magic doesn’t hold during the Presentation of the Courts? What if the other courts are gone by the time we reach Level 3? ” - forcing them to reevaluate and redesign specific components. But eventually, they all came to an agreed-upon scheme.

Well, almost.

“What exactly is our game plan during cocktail hour?” Lucien asked, “Because ‘ roam around and observe ’ doesn’t exactly sound strategic.”

Feyre let out a giggle, clearly forgetting they were in a serious and important meeting. Then she cleared her throat.

“You’re right. Let’s expand on that. How about..after Vassa gives her speech, we will split into groups and observe our guests,” Feyre suggested. “We can decide on the exact groupings later, but it would make sense, and look less suspicious, if those that are couples stay together. Rhys and I, Nes and Cas…”she paused.

Vassa interjected, “Jurian and I will remain together. The mortals that will be there know both of us well, and it would make sense to present us as a united force.”

Feyre nodded her approval, though Elain noticed Lucien’s jaw tighten.

“We have invited Gwyn and Emerie to come, as well. Having the three Valkyrie leaders will add an additional level of prestige as well as protection. Gwyn and Emerie can stick together,” Nesta added.

“Smart,” Jurian said.

“Since Amren will remain behind to protect the Night Court, that just leaves Elain, Lucien, Mor and Azriel…” Feyre trailed off awkwardly.

Elain cleared her throat and braced herself. She knew what she had to do, for the sake of the plan. “I’ve thought a lot about what you all suggested. About…about pretending that Lucien and I,” she gestured toward the red-haired male, who blinked in surprise, “have accepted the mating bond.”

A thick quiet wrapped itself around the group. Feyre stared at Elain with wide eyes while Nesta, quite uncharacteristically, gasped softly in surprise. Jurian and Vassa exchanged a startled glance. It dawned on her that she’d never so explicitly mentioned the bond in front of the two mortals. Cassian looked utterly bewildered and, unless she was imagining it, slightly displeased.

The only other person in the room who didn’t seem taken aback was Lucien. He simply regarded Elain with a wary expression on his face.

It was the longest they’d looked at each other since that night beneath the fae lights.

“And?” Feyre asked.

Elain cleared her throat. “And I think you’re right. There will be many potential enemies there. But if Lucien and I act like a pair, those enemies will be less likely to instigate anything. So I’m okay with…with making it seem like we are together. For the evening. But only if it’s okay with you,” she added awkwardly, finally meeting Lucien's gaze. His one good eye burned into her, and the memory of their almost-kiss flashed across her mind without warning. She was sure he was thinking about it, too.

“Of course it’s okay with me. It is what is safest for you, and that is all that matters,” he said finally.

She nodded once and looked down at the floor.

“So that just leaves Azriel and Mor,” Feyre said, returning to the matter at hand.

Despite the fact that Elain knew her decision was the right one, not only for her safety, but for the safety of others and for the good of the plan as a whole, her heart dropped at the thought of Azriel and Mor sashaying through the ballroom, the beautiful blonde hooked on Azriel’s arm. She could already see the way his hazel eyes would glow as he stared at the female he’d loved for centuries, who for the night was all his, all his . It was enough to make her feel slightly nauseous.

As was the thought of how Azriel would react when he found out she and Lucien were going to pretend to be mates for the evening.

But gods, he had made it clear as day that they were not a couple. Sure, he’d admitted to caring about her, to liking her, but that was it. If the Cassian debacle had proved anything, it was that he wanted to keep their affection a dirty little secret. Perhaps she would simply have to accept their relationship (or lack thereof) for what it was and what it was not. Accept it was all it would ever be.

Just as Azriel would have to accept that for two nights, she would pretend to the world that her heart belonged to another.

Even if it was just another bitter lie.

***

Elain had hoped to speak to Vassa after the planning meeting and confront her at last, but the Queen slipped out before she could reach her. Then Nesta and Feyre had cornered her to tell her just how proud they were of her for agreeing to be fake-mates with Lucien for an evening. As if it was a favor she was doing them. As she was a little girl in pigtails who needed to be praised and coddled for every "correct" decision she made.

She didn't do it to make her sisters or anyone else happy. She did it because, deep down, she knew they were right. Not about everything, of course; she still wanted to give Rhys a swift kick up his 500-year-old ass in retaliation for the last time he'd imposed his sense of right and wrong on her. But about this one thing - about this, they were right. It was safer for everyone, not just her, to pretend that they had accepted the mating bond. Safer, and better for the plan, and the right thing to do.

But every time she though of Mor and Azriel together, smiling and dancing, she wanted to throw something. Or scream. Or both.

Suffice it to say, Elain was not a pleased female by the time she left the grand atrium.

Hence the broad scowl that graced her face as she stomped angrily through the corridors. What the bloody hells was she supposed to do with the rest of her evening now? She was too worked up to sleep. Too emotionally-unsteady to do something productive. Too angry to hang out with anyone else in this stupid manor, especially -

“I hope that face isn’t because of me.”

Elain whipped around. “Don’t flatter yourself," she told Lucien with a small smile. "You may make me mad, but only my sisters can make me this mad.” She considers for a second. “And Vassa,” she added, then cringed. Lucien and Vassa were very close, after all. “Sorry.”

Unexpectedly, Lucien grinned. “I like it when you’re honest with me,” he says.

She grinned a bit back, but she couldn’t hide her wariness. This was the first time they had been around each other since the almost-kiss in the gardens, let alone standing in close proximity to each other in a vacant hallway.

Without warrant, her heartbeat sped up.

Lucien seemed to notice the change in her mood too, for the sly grin dropped from his face. “I’m about to leave again,” he told her. “I’m going to…going to the Autumn Court.”

“What?” Elain breathed, her eyes wide. “No, you can’t,” she said, her voice rising in panic.

“Beron is threatening to not come to the Symposium or the Ball if I don’t pay him a visit,” he said grimly. “And we need him here that night. He’s an essential part of the plan.”

“What does he want with you?” she nearly whispered.

Lucien’s shrug was too tense to be casual. “Who the hells knows. Maybe he just misses my pretty face.”

“You don’t think he knows about…you know,” she hedged.

Lucien’s face remained unreadable.“I guess we’ll find out,” he said finally.

Well, that wasn’t reassuring at all. She frowned at him, and he visibly softened.

“I’ll be fine,” he said. Then a corner of his lip twitched up. “Though it’s sweet of you to worry,” he teased.

Elain smiled without thinking about it.

Her smile seemed to trigger something in him. He sobered up immediately, and before she could even question what was wrong, grabbed her face with both his hands.

“Before I go,” he said, his mouth so close to hers she could feel his hot breath on her lips, “I have to kiss you first.”

She froze, utterly shocked.

“Just once,” he murmured, those arresting, uneven eyes staring straight into her own. “Just to see.”

And she was so shocked, so taken aback by the declaration, that she didn’t stop him when he leaned forward and kissed her.

***

While Elain was frozen, the Shadowsinger was in the middle of an interrogation.

Azriel studied the male in front of him, frowning slightly. This was taking longer than he expected. Longer than he had wanted it to take; otherwise, he might have made it to the Ball Planning meeting on time. Unfortunately, the Autumn Court soldier, who had been captured by one of his loyal spies, had yet to break. He’d already lost three fingers, for Cauldron’s sake, yet he still wouldn’t talk.

But Az wasn’t worried. He would talk. They always talked in the end.

It had been several months since he last traveled to the Court of Nightmares. He might not admit it to anyone else, but he could admit it to himself - it was somewhat of a relief to be back. There was no better time for him to… let loose, per say. If only because his blood was close to boiling over already, what with every other burden he bore on his back.

The anxiety. The guilt. The secrets . How come he’d never fully realized before how heavy secrets were? They were weighing him down like sand.

But here, in the dark and cool caverns beneath the Court of Nightmares, where not even the strongest Fae hearing could detect a scream - here, he felt the glorious relief of lifted pressure; of steady, pulsing silence. Here, he could wear the worst parts of himself like a shining suit of armor. Here, he could be the Azriel everyone knew and feared.

Smoothly, he slipped Truth-Teller out of its sheath and twirled it between his fingers with casual, lethal precision.

“Next question,” he said. “Where did you stay while in Pentalos?”

The male said nothing. The only sounds were his ragged panting and the blood dripping slowly from the little stumps on his hand.

“I’ll wait,” Azriel said. “I’ve been told I’m very patient.” A pause. “But I’m also incredibly impulsive, and I get mad easily. So who knows what will happen.” He cocked his head to the side. “I suppose we'll find out soon enough.”

Still, the male said nothing. Instead, he summoned all his strength and spit in Azriel's direction.

The dagger was in the Spymaster's palm, and the next second it was lodged in the man’s kneecap, deep and through the bone. The scream the soldier let out was so blood-curdling that even his shadows winced, tightening themselves against him like a second skin.

But Azriel did not react a bit. No, he simply watched as the male screamed in agony, his own expression blank and empty. There was nothing he hated more than insolence.

He let the soldier cry and sob until there were simply no tears left to cry. Slowly, Azriel approached the man and retrieved his favorite dagger before retreating once more. And only then, only then did the Spymaster speak.

“I’ll ask you one more time,” he said quietly. “Where did you stay while in Pentalos?”

The soldier let out a dry, hopeless sob, and Azriel knew he had won.

“In the caves,” the male said, his voice raw and rasping. “In the underground caves.”

Azriel froze. “There are no underground caves on Pentalos.”

“There are,” the soldier said, exhausted. He was getting close to death; Azriel could tell. “There are.”

Well. That was news to Az. And everyone else who scoured the island. This prisoner was turning out to be useful after all.

“One more question. Almost done,” he said, but there was no compassion lacing his voice. Just an underlying, dark promise. He tried to ignore the sudden pounding of his heart. “What does Koschei want with Elain Archeron?”

A grating, humorless laugh worked its way out of the soldier’s throat, and Azriel had to fight the urge to kill him right then. “What does he want with her?” he repeated, but his tone wasn’t mocking; just resigned. Just tired. “He wants her ruined .”

“ No ,” Azriel growled, as if the intensity of his objection could ensure Elain’s infinite safety. “He won’t ever get what he wants. Ever. But why does he want her?”

The soldier shook his head, something close to regret in his expression. “She can’t be saved,” he rasped. “Koschei wants her too much. He needs her too much.”

Pure, unadulterated panic shot through his chest, followed closely by white-hot, furious denial.

His fingers clenched around Truth-Teller.

“Wrong answer,” he said. There was a flash of silver, a shocked, gurgling gasp, and the Autumn Court soldier spoke no more.

But the panic threatened to drown the Shadowsinger all the same.

***

It was four in the morning, and Elain had yet to sleep a wink.

Her mind simply wouldn’t shut up. She couldn’t stop thinking about - well, about everything , about so many things she couldn’t keep track. Things that happened today and things that happened yesterday; things that happened decades ago and things she wished she could do again; things that never happened and things that never will. All of it flashed through her mind at the speed of light:

The cabin she used to live in, when she and her sisters slept in one bed together, curled around each other like cats;

Nesta in the library, smelling like vanilla and smoke and wariness;

The garden in the Night Court, thriving and beautiful without her tending to it;

Vassa, loving her like a sister and then avoiding her like the plague;

The cauldon, big and black and formidable, mocking her with its mightiness;

All the things she wished she would have said to her father - and to her mother;

The Flame Keeper tapping on her chest three times as she mouthed 'speak to the Queen;'

Lucien in the hallway, a deafening quiet engulfing them as his lips pressed against hers;

The looming presence of Koschei hanging over her like a storm cloud;

Azriel on his knees and between her legs, smiling at her and kissing her thigh with heart-wrenching tenderness, a thousand unspoken words gleaming in his piercing hazel eyes -

She sat straight up in bed, her chest heaving. For a long moment, she was frozen, just staring intently at the full moon.

“Fuck it,” she muttered, then threw the covers off and stood to her full height.

Less than a minute later - she forgot how convenient Fae speed was sometimes - she was outside Vassa’s quarters, knocking on the heavy oak door with loud and obnoxious persistence.

A servant answered the door. “Lady Elain, what is it?” the young girl asked. “Do you know the hour?”

“I need to speak with Vassa,” she said promptly. “And don’t bother telling me she isn’t awake. And I apologize in advance for my bluntness, but don’t bother trying to stop me from going in.”

The servant swallowed, glancing behind her nervously. “Lady Elain, I’m very sorry, but the Queen has given orders -”

“I don’t care what orders she’s given you,” Elain said patiently.

The servant looked downright scared now. “I’m very sorry, my Lady, but -”

Elain sighed, then strode past the servant faster than the human could blink.

She found Vassa in the last place she expected - outside, on a small balcony just off the side of her bedroom. With all the time she’d spent outdoors since the curse returned, Elain assumed the queen would much prefer the indoor comforts of her home. But perhaps even the familiar felt strange to Vassa now.

Unnoticed, Elain observed her friend for a minute. The queen looked too tired. And too skinny. And too sad, too hopeless , her eyes blank and open as she surveyed the starlit night, hands gripping the railing like it was a lifeline.

“Vassa,” she said softly, trying not to scare her.

To her credit, Vassa didn’t even flinch. And she did not turn around as she said, “Elain.” It almost sounded like a sigh. Like she’d been expecting and waiting for and dreading this moment, and here it was.

But Elain didn’t let that mess with her. “You’ve been avoiding me,” she said steadily.

Vassa still didn’t bother turning around. “Yes.”

Slowly, like approaching a wild animal, Elain joined Vassa at the balcony. She followed her friend’s lead and stared at the expansive landscape before them.

“Did you have a good relationship with your mother?” Elain asked out of nowhere.

Vassa visibly started. “What in the world made you ask that?”

Elain shrugged. “I’m not quite sure, to be honest.”

“Yes,” the queen finally answered. “Yes, I did. My mother was a wonderful person. Both my parents were.” A clear note of wistful grief rang in her voice.

Elain smiled, just a little bit sadly. “That’s good,” she said. “I’m sure they were lovely, seeing as they managed to raise a woman like you.”

“What was your mother like?” Vassa asked after a beat, her voice noticeably softer.

“Oh, she was an absolute delight.” Elain let out a laugh that didn’t sound quite right. “She was intelligent, beautiful, and well-connected. She was incredibly good at reading people. She was trendy, and her taste was impeccable, and she loved finery; she always made sure we were dressed in the latest fashions.

“And she was also cold, callous, and cruel.” Elain shook her head slightly. “It’s hard for me to pick which one of us she was most awful to. We all got it worse in some ways, I suppose. Nesta was the heir apparent, treated more like a soldier than a child, expected to not only obey but to carry out my mother’s every order. Feyre was the forgotten child.

“And I was a pretty little puppet who was too silly and naive to try and cut off the strings that held me in place.”

Elain’s hands flexed unintentionally on the railing. She forced them to relax.

“I don’t think of my mother often,” she continued. “And I talk of her even less. My sisters are the same way. Sometimes it feels like she never existed, like I just made her up in my mind, but even I’m not enough of a masochist to imagine someone so uncaring. So unkind.

“But even though we never talk about her or miss her or hold any fond feelings toward her at all, and even though she died when we were quite little…I think she’s left her stain on us all. And I wonder, sometimes, if it can ever be washed out.”

Vassa was quiet for a very long time. But Elain was used to waiting. Used to being patient. It was yet another thing that separated her from her sisters: where Feyre and Nesta were impulsive, Elain was content to wait in the shadows for the proper time to strike.

And wait she did.

Vassa finally broke the silence.

“Why did you come here tonight, Elain?” she asked.

It was then that Elain turned to face the queen fully.

“There’s something I need to do. And you’re coming with me.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. It’s quite important, actually. And guess what?” Elain raised a brow.

“What?” the queen asked dryly.

“You're going to do it, too.”

"I am?"

"Yes. You need to do it, actually."

“Do I really?”

Elain nodded, ignoring the lack of enthusiasm in Vassa’s tone.

“And what, may I ask, do we both need to do that is so important you barged into my quarters in the dead of night?”

Elain cocked her head at her and grinned slightly. Something in her expression finally tipped Vassa off.

“Oh, I don’t like that look,” the queen said, and though she was shaking her head, the first traces of excitement finally seeped through her voice. “What are you planning?”

Elain just grinned wider. “Vass,” she said, “Do you fancy a swim?”

***

The two females hurried through the woods. Leaves crackled beneath their feet; a heavy breeze whooshed over their bodies, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake; moonlight streamed through the gaps in the lush forest canopy, lighting their way.

“We are nearly there,” Vassa said, and though she spoke quietly, the sound still had Elain jolting slightly. Being this deep in the woods, no one around but the creatures who lived here, no sound but for the whispering wind and the rustling of foliage, had words themselves feeling foreign. Alien.

Rounding a corner, they came to a huge clearing in the forest. The trees here arched toward each other, creating a high, curved canopy. In the center of the clearing was a large, glassy pond, or perhaps a small, circular lake, depending on who you asked. The surface was still as a statue, and the way it reflected the night sky made the water look like it was composed entirely of silvery starlight.

“Wow,” Elain whispered. Vassa nodded in agreement. Together, they approached the edge of the glossy lake.

“When was the last time you were here?” Elain asked.

“Ages ago,” she said. “I don’t even remember. I fly over it sometimes, when I’m…in my other form. But I’ve not been this close since before the curse. Since before I became Queen, perhaps.” She shook her head as if the movement would shake away the memories.

“Are you ready?” Elain asked.

“No,” Vassa said. “But let’s do it anyway.”

They stripped to their undergarments. Elain neatly folded her clothes and placed them on a large, flat rock; Vassa threw hers in a pile on the ground. Elain dipped a toe in and shivered.

“It’s cold.”

“It’s November,” Vassa reminded her.

“Well. It’s not going to get any warmer with us standing here,” she replied shrewdly. “Come on. Let’s jump.”

A thick swallow worked its way down Vassa’s throat. Her hands were trembling, and Elain did not think it was because of the cold.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” she said softly.

“Yes. I do,” her friend replied. She took a deep, rattling breath and then held out her hand to Elain.

In that moment, Elain forgot any anger she had with the queen. Without hesitation, she grabbed Vassa’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“On three?”

The red-haired woman nodded tightly.

“One,” she began.

“Two,” counted Vassa, her voice a nervous croak that nearly vanished with the wind. Elain couldn't deny it, either: she was nervous as well. She still hadn't dunked her head entirely underwater since the Cauldron...but she had to. She had to get Vassa to talk to her. And this was the only thing she could think of that might work.

“Three,” they said together, and then they were jumping. The second they hit the water, their grasp broke apart. It was cold, so cold, but so lovely too, invigorating and refreshing and a delicious shock to her very soul.

Kicking her way up, Elain gasped as she broke above the surface, relishing the way the cool night air bit at her damp skin. A few feet away, Vassa emerged from the depths, crimson locks plastered to her face, blue eyes bright and gleaming in the light of the moon.

“It’s fucking cold,” the queen gasped.

“Is it?” Elain asked. “Feels amazing to me.”

In unison, they started laughing uncontrollably. If asked, Elain could not have said what was funny, but maybe that was the point; maybe it was simply the nature of the situation, the thrill of acting on an impulse, that had mirth uncontrollably bubbling up inside of her. Or maybe it was the way she felt renewed; the way she felt clean , like all the dirty parts of her had been eliminated by the biting cool of the water; washed away like the tide, utter and absolute. Like all the rot inside of her had been cut out and replaced with new, thriving life.

After several minutes, their laughter guttered out, throats left raw from the act. They stared at each other, treading water, soft smiles on their faces.

“Thank you,” Vassa said. The thin film of moisture in her eyes did not seem like it was from the pool they swam in, but Elain couldn’t be sure. “I don’t know if I ever would have come back here if it wasn’t for you.”

“You would have,” Elain said confidently. She was sure of that. Her friend may have her faults, but Vassa was brave and bold and true, and she would not let any obstacle stand in her way for long. Not if she could help it.

Suddenly, Vassa's expression shifted dramatically, going from bright and giddy to starkly sober.

The mood shifted immediately, the queen’s words a catalyst to the thundering of Elain's heart. Even the forest around them seemed to quiet, the wind stilling, no creatures stirring, all listening for what came next.

“Elain,” Vassa said, low and clear. “I need to tell you something.”

Afraid a trembling voice might give away her nerves, Elain merely nodded in response.

Vassa took a deep, rattling breath. “Before I go any further, I want you to know that - “

She never finished the sentence. One moment she was there, staring at Elain with serious and mournful eyes, and the next she was gone. She vanished beneath the surface as if she was never there at all. She was gone so quickly she did not even have time to scream.

But Elain had seen the petrified expression on the queen’s face before her friend was pulled beneath the surface. A horror so heavy it sank like stone.

TAGS (lmk if you would like to be removed/added)

@sakurakittypeach @shedoessoshedoes @courtofjurdan @lesolehabitantdelalune @suntoksabuwan @sweet-pea1 @ireneherondale24 @supernaturallynerdy @dreaming-of-azriel @bookstaninthesoul @cuppamelia @fawnandshadows @offtorivendell @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @nikethestatue @reverie-tales @nyaxxe @casuallivi @protectorofvel @briar-reads @creatureofnightmares @swankii-art-teacher @the-laughing-bubble @gracie-rosee @cntrol @magnolia-blossom87 @ela-ivp @potassium-boron @freepandahugs @karomdr-blog @athena-85 @justreallybored

#elriel #tsts #acotar #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #elriel fanfic #post acosf #azriel x elain #theshadowsthatsing #danydragons21 #elain supremacy #acotarsmut #acotarfanfic #lucien acotar #vassa acotar

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brumeraven · 3 months

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👺: Those Thankless Years || mech pilots, stigmatization, expectations, victimhood, disability, dehumanization, guilt, oww oww owww, somehow ended up with at least 3 references in this

There was an alley I passed by every day, twice a day, back and forth, morning and evening, as my schedule demanded, as I left my home before dawn and returned after nightfall.

Wasn't actually an alley; an intercostal space, between the ribs of a Beast that had fallen here years ago, now reclaimed by the city. Ghastly thing to leave standing, but then it'd been years since one of them had gotten anywhere near a population center, and memories had faded.

Was a sort of shrine now, what passed for one; a few more true believers crowded into the narrow space each time I passed, stringing lights of all sorts together in garish reverence.

Never bothered to look inside. Didn't need to; already knew what I'd see.

Another fucking Stig.

See, the world had needed the Seraphs back then, when the Beasts came. And that man? The one who'd made angels? Well, he'd given the people exactly what they'd needed.

Hope.

Hope and a belief in the future. No matter what it cost him. No matter what it cost us.

The first ones we cobbled together from dolls and half-assed prayer, pushed both machine and pilot to their breaking points. But people hated seeing their idols broken and shattered. We needed Seraphs to be impeccable icons of our cause, striding hymns of human exceptionalism.

So we did what we always do: hid all our dirty little secrets behind a facade and made it someone else's problem.

Don't remember who realized we could invert Halo fields. Don't want to.

All I know is I every morning I leave home and work at forgetting until it's time to sleep.

It was the dirtiest kludge of them all, to feed it back at the pilots, but it made the Seraphs truly were unstoppable. I've seen a Brumeraven put three talons clean through a core without a mark, the cruelest Flame any Beast could muster left our shining protectors unsullied.

All of that turned inwards instead, hollowing out the pilots instead.

Seemed kinder at first. No more broken bones or necrosis. And when they couldn't maintain a field any more, they got a grand send off.

"Compassionate Discharge," out the door with accolades and nothing more.

We never asked if they'd wanted it. We'd made them, but we never thought to ask if they wanted to be heroes. If they wanted to be martyrs.

That's how we ended up with this problem. People stopped caring about the gods we'd built. They'd rather worship the ones we'd made instead.

The kids had seemed physically fine when we'd released them. Wasn't until they began to turn back up as Stigs that we knew what we'd done.

Today...today I decided to take a look on my way home.

And there she was, at the end of the alley, in the middle of that neon necropolis.

Alone, staring at nothing, eyes glazed and unfocused, careless of the meager hundred kneeling all around her, heedless of the mismatched flowers and benedictions and prayers heaped at her feet, if none closer than a meter. No one would touch the divine.

It was all worthless.

Even from where I was, it was easy to see her marks. Half her jaw' torn away, a perfect simulacrum of golden light in its place, crazed lines spiderwebbing outwards across most of her face.

Golden scars covered most of her body, cuts here, burns there, cracks shot through her.

All of that hope. All of that conviction that had once shook the heavens, moved machines that towered over the city, stood tirelessly in guard of us all...

It was all wasted now. Twisted up and turned inwards, an endless struggle to contain the Void that tried to tear her apart.

And her devotees, well, they worshipped her.

They worshipped her fragility.

Worshipped her resilience.

A whole fucking church, crying out her name.

A hundred voices praising her bravery. And not a one asked what she wanted.

But I could. I could care. I could push my way through the crowd. Give her the bread and cheap wine I'd bought to get me through the night. Hug her, show her she was still human, try to fill those cracks, show the congregation how little she was, how great she could still be...

Phaw. What did it matter anyways. They believed in her past.

Tannin and ethanol as bitter ablution, the screw lid cast over my shoulder in lieu of salt. Who believed in a future anyways?

I put my head down, pulled my hood low, trying to hide her. From her.

Maybe tomorrow.

~👺

#empty spaces #microfiction #mech pilots #stigmatization #expectations #victimhood #disability #dehumanization #guilt #oww oww owww #somehow ended up with at least 3 references in this #fiction #writing

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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It's Nilnaea! Considering that elves physically cannot handle guilt, how did Sophie survive her first twelve years without shutting down? There's no way she could have avoided feeling guilty or remorseful over something when she was living with humans. Guilt is impossible to avoid--doubly so when she's clearly living with some pretty severe anxiety and depression. I can easily imagine her feeling guilty over causing her parents anxiety.

Not to mention, in the first book, she feels guilty over cheating on her alchemy exam without showing signs of psychic (I don't know how else to put it) strain. Do you think she could be immune to this because of her genetic engineering, or is it nature-versus-nurture? In the case of genetic engineering, the implications of the Black Swan having information that Vespera tortured humans to get is very interesting. (On that note, in Unlocked, there's a mention of Sophie wanting the Nightfall experiment information to go public. I really want that to happen!)

hello, Nilnaea! thanks for your patience as I work my way through my asks!! this is actually a question that's bugged me for a while, I've just never really talked about it, so it's nice to see someone else bringing it up! I thought it was just something no one else really cared about, as I have a tendency to focus on unimportant details.

like? humans are inevitably going to make mistakes and feel guilt over them, so it just doesn't make sense to me that Sophie could go her whole life without feeling guilty over something. Even just the idea of Elves being unable to handle guilt itself raises so many questions for me

thought: perhaps a lot of the poor behavior (judgement and scorn) exhibited by so many elves is a product of no guilt. in some situations, guilt is how you learn. intense emotional reactions and feeling remorseful for your actions can really make an impression on someone and alter their future behavior. some of the most important social lessons I learned (as someone who isn't good as socializing and frequently makes mistakes) have been through fucking up, sometimes awfully, and the resulting guilt is what prevented me from doing anything like that ever again. my inability to recognize how I affected others has severally hurt (emotionally) other people, which is why I'm so careful with what I say now. but if elves don't have that, if they're taught not to acknowledge how their action's affects make them feel, they never get that internal feedback or learning experience. so they just keep being shitty to each other eternally.

also, you're very right. she's clearly got something like anxiety/depression going on, or at the very least she's relatable to those of us who have those disorders. even just at the beginning of book one I think she felt guilty for all the stress and trouble she consistently brought to her parents as the gifted kid. she already knew how her mothers sentence would end (the "I just wish you were normal like your sister") so i'm assuming that's happened before. The guilt she'd feel just for existing differently and not understanding why (very appealing character for neurodivergent people) would be crippling. it can take so much work to look at yourself and just accept you're never going to fit in the way everyone else does, and that it's not a bad thing and you can live a perfectly fine life without fitting in like that. but especially at that age (for some reason middle school age--and specifically 7th grade) is absolute torture emotionally).

oh! i'd forgotten about the alchemy exam thing--the story has come a long way since then. I think a broken mind is both a combination of time and intensity of the guilt experienced, as Elwin said Alden's mind broke because it was so much guilt that he let fester for so long. So perhaps because she recognized the guilt and immediately rectified the situation, it wasn't there long enough for it to really impact her. But that does bring me back to the nd vibes she gives off in her childhood, as I think that's enough stress/guilt over a long enough period of time that she should've broken (shout out to anyone else whose mind would've broken as a child if they were an elf, cause I know I would've).

okay okay hang on, going back to what I was saying about guilt being a way to learn things, that could tie into your nature-vs-nurture suggestion. If sophie was raised human, she probably was taught how to manage and regulate her emotions in such a way that she could learn from her guilt and use it to better herself, because I don't believe for a second she was good in social situations and probably said some things she later felt guilty about. So perhaps her human upbringing protects her from the catastrophe that is elven guilt. But I could also see it being the genetic engineering, as she's shown to interact with emotions differently than anyone else when it comes to her inflicting. Perhaps her ability to inflict positive emotions proves that she doesn't interact with her feelings or process things in an elvin way, instead taking a human approach that protects her. Though we could also attribute that to nature vs nurture.

as for the human experiments, I think it would be super interesting to see what happens. I don't think that horrible history should be hidden or that elves should be allowed to continue to feel like they're superior, but just what would happen would be fascinating to read. it would rock the elvin world to the core, which is why Bronte said it shouldn't be released. But its also embarrasing to them, because they don't like experimenting on things. The whole thing with genetic purity and all that, so to know that it's such a huge part of their history and they actually weren't justified in cutting the humans off would be such a shift.

the classification of humans as no longer an intelligent species (which is a whole conversation on it's own) would be suddenly without reason, elves taking advantage of this power they granted themselves. i don't know if they could be reincorporated, but it would badly affect the elves. There's just so much to consider and i'm running low on time atm but this is an absolutely fascinating discussion so thank you so much for bringing it up

Nilnaea, you have some excellent observations!! thank you so much for sharing them with me!!

#if I missed a part of this idea just let me know and i'd be happy to go back to cover it!!#I have a class starting in ten minutes so I got a little distracted towards the end #but the whole concept is really interesting #both the guilt as a whole and the nightfall things #hnng so many thoughts #and sophie being relatable to nd people as well #i saw you sent me another ask about that!! or something similar to that #which I will answer!! probably after class!!#but this is so interesting I love it so much #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #nilnaea nonsie #long post #sophie foster #elven guilt

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adorerdraco · 4 years

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Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 4

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Summary: PART 4 ! of Draco accidentally falling in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP) and now having to deal with the reality of his Death Eater status.

Warnings: lots of ANGST (but also tiniest bit of fluff), lots of tears, lots of emotional pain on everyone

Words: 7.5K

A/N: FINALLLYYYY i had no idea what to do with this but something finally came to me !!!! and also an ending ;( so there will only be maybe one or two parts after this one since it is a miniii series BUT FOR NOW I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS AND IGNORE ANY PLOT HOLES FROM THE ACTUAL HP UNIVERSE I TRIED MY V BEST AHHH <33333 do not own gif.

There was an unsettling sense of impending doom that washed over the Hogwarts castle in heavy rain and dark thunderous clouds. The familiar orange and bright sunlight and purple-pink sunsets were gone, the sun only making meek appearances through the thick rainy covers of the sky before disappearing into the nightfall. No one knew what was coming or what to expect. Schooling continued like normal and everyone had entrusted that whatever was the situation outside the bewitched stone walls of Hogwarts; there was no way it could get past the protection charms put in place by the all-powerful Headmaster and his fellow teachers.

The only two people in the school who couldn’t share that same comfort with their peers were also the only ones in the school who had an inkling of what was going to happen next. The second Draco realized he had successfully mended the vanishing cabinet he had a squirming sense of regret and guilt begin to eat away at him. You felt the same burn of shame in you when you mulled over the fact that it was you who had encouraged him to keep at it even when he continuously wanted to quit.

So now here you were, in the chilled room of requirement after finding out the cabinet worked only minutes ago, the two of you sitting in silence together on an old pile of junk while you held a shivering Draco with his face buried in your neck. There was a feeling of droplets of quiet tears falling onto your skin while you pet the top of his silver-stricken hair in reassurance and tried to hold your own tears back. The breakthrough that was supposed to be the biggest accomplishment of the young Death Eater ended up feeling like his biggest failure and it devastated him more than he could have ever fathomed.

When he had finally gathered himself together, he stood up and totteringly fixed the wrinkles on his black suit before offering you a trembling hand. You took it and allowed him to walk you out of the room and back into the empty corridors and towards the staircases. It was a silent trip down to the dungeons and you didn’t want to ask where he was taking you but you regretted not doing so when he stopped the two of you outside a certain greasy-haired Professor’s door. He brought his free hand up to the wood and let his knuckles hit against it faintly with one knock before you rushed to stop him as you yanked the two of you away from the door once you had realized how unwise this felt.

“What are you doing?!” you asked him in a hushed fearful tone.

“I have to tell Snape about the vanishing cabinet,” he responds dully.

“I don’t think he’d like me to be here when you tell him that-”

There was a sudden clicking sound, the door of the office swinging open as Snape emerged from the room with an angered expression when he saw the two of you standing there. When his dark eyes landed on you specifically, you shivered underneath his vexed gaze. It was clear, just how you had said, he did not want you there.

“Inside, now, Draco.” He grits the demand through his teeth.

“Y/N is coming in too,” the Slytherin says quickly, earning another scowl from his Professor. He stepped aside from the door with a visible rage as you followed Draco inside to the dingy room lined with jars filled with weird unnameable objects.

Draco stopped in the middle of the room, reaching for your hand again and tightly gripping it in reassurance. You stared into his worried gray’s with fear, silently begging him to not let you go as Snape walked past the both of you.

“Do you have any idea how imprudent you are, Draco?” Snape sneered, staring down the boy beside you who kept a straight face. “Do you understand how reckless this is? How much does she know?”

“Everything, Professor,” Draco answers quietly. There was a fiery glint in Snape’s eyes as he looked towards you now, his lips curling upwards in a snarl.

“Foolish girl with an equally foolish boy,” he scowls. “You have nothing to do with any of this. You have done nothing but write yourself a death sentence all for the sake of what... love?”

“With all due respect, Professor,” you start timidly, “I knew what the consequences would be if I stayed with Draco and I will gladly accept whatever fate is in store for me for my decision. I also promise you my silence with everything I know.”

Draco squeezed your hand and glanced towards you with a sadness you were easily able to see.

“How touching,” Snape says lowly. “So you’re prepared to die at the hands of the Dark Lord? Or perhaps at the hands of his precious aunt who might get to you first?”

“Yes, I am” you stood tall when you answered, hoping to appear courageous for not only a very doubtful Snape but more for Draco who you felt cringe every time your possible death was mentioned.

He said nothing, but his mind was swarming with thoughts and plans on how he could save you from every dangerous person and outcome that tormented his surroundings. There was one constant threat after another and although he’s contemplated on it several times, there was no solution he could come up with where the two of you stayed together and you would survive. He mentally kicks himself, wishing he pushed aside his own selfish needs and never promised you he wouldn’t leave you again and he wishes now more than ever that he could. It wasn’t because he didn’t love you - it was the opposite of that. He loved you almost too much and as dreadful situations were approaching, he wished he could leave you out of the death and destruction that would soon ensue on everyone, especially you, all because of him. All because he needed you by his side for him to even feel any sense of life in him that kept him going.

“Very well, then, I cannot stop you from these naive decisions,” Snape sighs deeply in defeat and faces the troubled blond, “and what of the vanishing cabinet?”

You felt Draco stiffen, a trembling exhale falling from his lips before responding with, “it’s done.”

“Excellent, expect their arrival soon,” he rounds his desk, stopping right above his chair, “you may leave.”

You hurriedly turned to go, tugging on Draco’s hand as you did so and the both of you drudged out of the office with a heavy sensation settling over the both of you. There was nothing either of you could do now. There was no more stalling with the cabinet, no more keeping quiet, no more hopeful possibilities that things could turn out differently.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It was nearly physically painful to attend all your classes today. It was fake smiles and conversations that left you feeling pathetically phony -feeling like you were lying to everyone that they were going to be okay when they weren’t. You even made plans with housemates to have a little gathering in the common room later in the week to celebrate someone’s birthday and plans with friends to go study in the library with them.

It even hurt to see your Professors, always kind and helpful, not knowing that sometime in the near future, they’ll be either fighting for their life or the lives of students at Hogwarts.

Draco had it even worse. Not one peep from him throughout any of his classes. He was deathly quiet, walking around looking like a kicked puppy and avoided any conversation or interaction with anyone, not even eye contact. He just felt so guilty that he was going to be the reason why death would inevitably wreak havoc on so many souls. He knows eventually the dark wizard he’s resentfully following would have found a way inside the castle walls somehow - you had reminded him that countless times, but it still left him wondering what would have happened if he couldn’t fully mend the cabinet or refused to.

Halfway through the day, he saw you in Slughorn’s class. The two of you worked diligently together through the whole lesson and when the bell rang, he gave you a small kiss goodbye before walking over to his other class. Your worried eyes followed his retreating figure, leaving you a chilling feeling as he disappeared down the hall.

During his next class, he sat in the far end of a classroom, slumped in his chair with his chin on his palm as he thought of you. He wishes he could be stronger for you, braver and less cowardly. He wished he was unafraid of consequences and could simply grab you and his mother, and eventually even his father, and just apparate to somewhere far away and hidden where the Dark Lord and his followers couldn’t get to him or those he loved. But he knew that no matter how much he wished it or try to convince himself he could; he couldn’t do it and he knows his family wouldn’t let him either.

When classed had finally ended for the day and the corridors were packed with rushing bodies of people meeting up with their friends as they laughed and talked with a weightless glee, Draco found himself pushing past everyone like a mindless zombie as his feet mindlessly carried him throughout the school with no specific destination. There was no moment of peace in his head, just a raging battlefield of endless awful possibilities.

You had been scurrying through the halls, hoping to find the mop of platinum blond amongst the busy crowd of people. The scene felt like a maze, twisting and turning through people and corners until you felt like you were on the edge of madness.

There was a small tap on your shoulder before a large hand had snaked down your arm and into your hand with its familiar cold grasp. You sighed in relief, your head turning softly to face your noticeably stressed boyfriend who had put on a very feeble smile for you.

“Can we go somewhere else,” he asked faintly, leaning down towards your ear as he spoke, “I can’t be here anymore.”

You nodded eagerly, moving the two of you towards the nearest exit of the castle, finally releasing a breath of fresh air when you felt your shoes sink into the soft earth below you. There was a humid and muddy smell in the air, the soil, and plants still wet from the on and off rain that had been occurring for the past few days.

Far from the school and on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, there stood a tall and sturdy tree. It was the new tree you had picked for the two of after the first fall out between you and Draco. Its trunk was thick and wide, allowing both of you to hide from anyone who passed by or saw it in the distance. The tresses of leaves nearly showered onto the ground from its long branches that twisted and turned in ways that appeared like it was trying to hug itself. It almost looked like a huge, untrimmed dome, encircling you inside its core while it protected you from unwanted attention. It was perfect.

When you finally reached it, you pushed back some of the leaves so you could walk into the dimly lit and vast space it naturally created and plopped yourself against the trunk with a deep exhale. Draco sat down with you, adjusting himself so that he could lay his head on your lap, humming comfortably when your fingers began their usual work through the soft strands of his hair.

You sat there in silence as the both of you thought, and thought, and thought. It was hard to believe that only this morning you were standing in the room of requirement with him, shocked and distressed that he had finally fixed the vanishing cabinet. Now Snape and the rest of the Death Eaters were aware of the new opening into Hogwarts, preparing to set ablaze the school with pain and some sort of destruction.

You looked down at the boy in your lap, a permanent wrinkle in between his eyebrows as he lied staring straight ahead, a lost look in his gray eyes that you hadn’t seen in so long.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly. One of your hands had trailed from his hair and rested gently on his forehead, your pinky gently trying to smooth out the crease between his eyes.

“I should have never fixed the cabinet,” he sighs and sits up to face you. You noticed the glassy look and reddened lash lines, the storming tears ready to come out at any moment.

"Draco, anything that happens next is not your fault,” you tried to reassure but it only made him feel worse.

“No, it’s not only that,” he lets out a shaky breath, letting the first tear fall that he couldn’t hold back. “I have to dedicate myself to my second task now.”

You froze as you remembered the biggest responsibility he had, demanded to him by the Dark Lord himself - the obligation of killing Dumbledore. A mere 16-year-old boy, who was in the middle of a collapsed world and broken judgments, was burdened with the worst trial of them all.

Draco shuddered at the thought, moving to sit beside you against the tree as he sat with his knees pulled to his chest and the waterfall of tears now falling freely down his face.

“I can’t kill him, I don’t want to kill him,” he lamented, “I can’t do it. He’ll kill me first before I can even try.”

You placed a hand on his arm, rubbing soothing circles into it as you let him cry and thought of what you could say. The vanishing cabinet was one thing, but this, this was a life. This was someone who is known to be the most powerful wizard of all time, the only one alive right now who the enemy truly feared. This was someone who everyone needed alive at this time. If Draco went through with this, he would never be able to recover. You know he doesn’t want to do it, at all, and having everyone else in his life nag at him in encouragement is the opposite of what he needs. You truly couldn’t give him any advice on what he can do or why he should.

“I don’t think he would,” you started quietly, trying to find the words to piece together what you wanted to say, “kill you, I mean. I think you’re so used to You-Know-Who, that, you forget Dumbledore isn't evil and is merciful. And maybe, if you stall long enough, someone else can do it? Maybe Bellatrix.”

Draco let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head at the suggestion, “my dear aunt Bellatrix more than anyone, wants me to do it.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” you frowned, letting the back of your head fall against the tree as you stared up at the swinging greenery above you.

“You can help by keeping yourself alive,” he sniffles, his cold hand enveloping itself in yours as he spoke. “If there was one good thing that came out of all of this, it’s you. I think you not being here on this Earth, would feel far, far worse than taking Dumbledore’s life.”

He brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a warm kiss onto the skin before he held it against his chest.

“I wish I could put you in a bubble and send you up above the clouds so you could watch the sky all day and be happy, and most of all safe from everything evil,” he muses, a slight smile on your lips as you listened to his wish. His fingers began twirling around the band on your wrist, the same band he had gifted you the night before when everything seemed to be okay, in a sense.

“Evil will always be here, Dark Wizards present or not,” you remind him gingerly, “just as there will always be good. It’s a balance, one can’t be here without the other.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he sighs. “But I still wish it was possible to send you away in a bubble.”

“If that was possible, you know you would come with me, right?” You turn your head, smiling at him when he met your eyes. You brought up your held hand, wiping away the stray tears that had lingered on his paled cheeks as he kept a firm grasp on your wrist.

“I would love to go with you,” he said tenderly, heart-swelling at how easy you made him feel calm and present. It was wonderous, he felt, how someone had managed to make him feel this way. He never would have thought he’d have someone who genuinely loved him and he loved back, in his love life. Especially not at this time, in this year, where he was facing his worst tribulations and turmoils.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, both of you now staring up into the darkening grayed sky that peeked through the mess of leaves above.

“It’s getting dark, we should probably go soon,” you mumble tiredly, noticing how the moon was already starting to make an appearance behind the heavy gray clouds. "And it looks like it's about to rain."

As soon as the words left your mouth, there was a loud cracking of thunder, the tree’s branches surrounding you suddenly shaking at the sound. You shot up to your feet, Draco following closely as the two of you heard a whining sound coming directly from the trunk of the tree. Its leaves began to move wildly in the wind that approached, more booming of thundering filling the air as a storm above began to brew. The branches began to swing carefully and more inwards as if it was alive and closing itself up from any danger that was coming from around or above it. The leaves were falling over one another, covering up any spaces in the tree that the constricting branches couldn’t cover.

“Draco,” you say timidly, reaching for his hand in fear, “is it just me, or is the tree moving?”

The space underneath the tree had shrunken significantly, it was now a small circle going around the trunk that was big enough to walk around but not enough to run through like you once could. Whatever light the outside was able to offer was now gone, the cracking and compressing branches and leaf clumps blocked out everything from the outside, including the rain that you could very loudly hear pattering against the fronds above you.

“I think its closed us in,” Draco mutters, moving you behind his back as he pulled his wand from his pocket and whispered a quick, ‘lumos,’ so that the two of you could see. He held you behind him protectively as he stepped towards the walls of the tree, pushing against the leaves and branches that were now tightly contracted together that allowed no room for escape. “We’re stuck in here - unless you want to blast a hole through it.”

“No!” you exclaim immediately. You moved away from him and walked towards the trunk of the tree, placing a gentle hand on the dry wood that still seemed to be faintly buzzing from its movement. “We’re not going to hurt it.”

“Y/N, we’re stuck in here, no one knows where we are-” he tries to reason more but you shush him quickly.

“And that’s such a bad thing?” you scoff, moving to press your ear against the wood as you tried to examine it more. You heard the same whining from earlier but much weaker now, its bellows fading now as it felt protected from the storm.

“What are you doing?”

There was confusion written all over the blond’s face as he watched you inspect the tree, curious and concerned with your attentiveness.

“Dray, come here,” you rushed out, motioning towards you so he would hurry over. He let you grab his free hand when he reached you since his wand hand was still casting the only light around you. You placed it against the trunk of the tree with yours, a sudden vibration shooting up his arm at the contact with the wood. “The tree is a sentient. It’s alive and very aware.”

“What, so like the Whomping Willow?”

“Exactly like that, but not aggressive at all,” you nod, beaming up at him. “I think it knows we’re here too.”

For a moment, there was finally a fleeting feeling of glee as both of your worries from the outside left you, allowing reverence and excitement to fill you and spread to Draco.

“You speak tree now?” He snickers, smirking at you when you rolled your eyes.

You leaned your head against the tree, closing your eyes as you quietly thanked it for its protection from the thunder and the rain and its beauty. Draco’s gaze stayed on you, watching you with wonder and fullness in his heart. He began to question himself how someone like you was real, who was so caring with everything you touched, from nature to people. You radiated bravery, loyalty, strong intelligence, and ambition wherever you went and in every situation, you were in.

How did I get so lucky, he kept thinking.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed a bright glittering blue light, and then a purple one, then a pink, and a white. He fully looked up and inhaled faintly when he saw what they all were.

Small translucent and thin stringy flowers of all colors that he could think of began to illuminate themselves from the many branches of the tree before floating off, dancing and twirling in the air as they descended towards the two of you. He noticed they looked nearly identical to spider lily’s - all thanks to Professor Sprout when he was forced to learn several different flowers in her class.

He nudged you gently, pointing up to the air when you opened your eyes and you stepped away from the trunk to look around in awe. There must have been at least a hundred of them spinning and flying, their petals bouncing up and down as they carried themselves around the open area.

You reached up your palm, catching one in your hand as it landed daintily and glowed a bright rose color, its petals still lifting up and down like if it was keeping itself afloat. You turned to bring it carefully towards Draco, almost jumping up and down in excitement that it was on you. He turned off the light of his wand with an easy, ‘nox,’ putting it away now that the area was now fully lit up in beautifully twinkling lights. He smiled down at you, placing both his hands under your one as he helped you hold it up since you were nearly exploding from happiness.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” you whispered in wonder. “I didn’t even know trees could do this! Our tree!”

“I think this is only because of you, darling,” he whispers back. “You have a way of bringing dull things to life.”

Your gaze flickered up, smiling warmly at him before pushing up gently on the flower, encouraging it to fly away so you could move. You got closer to the Slytherin, his arms encircling around your waist once you were flush against him. One of the green flowers had landed on the top of his hair, settling itself carefully on him.

“I’ve got one on me, haven’t I?” He chuckles and you nod, a bright smile on your face as you looked between him and the flower.

“It likes you,” you beam. “But, not as much as I do.”

He laughs a real laugh of delight and amusement, squeezing you delicately tighter against him.

“Obviously.”

You stood on your tip-toes to reach his tall figure, craning your face up and pressing your lips against his in a loving match. You parted your lips and allowed his warmth to wash all over you in comfort, all thoughts being numbed at the feeling. As your lips continued to move against his, you began to feel a tickling all over your hair and whatever skin was exposed to the air. You pulled away from him curiously, gasping softly when you saw that all the flowers had flown down towards the two of you landing and sitting on you both as if they were attracted like magnets.

Draco moved one of his clasped hands from your waist up to your cheek, grinning to himself as you leaned your head into his touch.

“I’m glad this tree has us trapped in here,” he mutters. “I wouldn't want to be anywhere else with the one I love.”

“I love you more, Draco.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The two of you awoke to the sound of cracking wood and swooshing leaves, a cold breeze following quickly as it encompassed you. You gradually opened your eyes, seeing that the tree was expanding and moving back to its original state and appearing back to normal. Carefully sitting up, you realized the flowers were gone, there was no sight of them anywhere. If it wasn’t for Draco being there with you, you would’ve thought you imagined the whole thing.

Speaking of the said boy, he groaned beneath you, balled fists going up to his closed eyes as he began to rub his sleep away. The early morning light had streamed through weakly through the clouds and through the leaves onto you.

“I wonder if anyone looked for us,” you yawned carelessly, standing up and flattening down the wrinkles on your clothes. You outstretched your hands and back, deeply exhaling at the feeling of relief from the ground below you.

“Probably,” Draco answered sleepily, standing himself up and wiping himself off of all dirt and grime. “We should go back now before it locks s in again.”

You skipped over to the trunk of the tree, placing your hand on it once again and whispering to it a tender, “thank you.”

You could’ve sworn it whined something back, but you brushed it off at your drowsiness and continued towards the castle with Draco.

The two of you walked quietly hand in hand to your common room, stopping outside of it with a sigh as you read a clock on a far-away wall.

7:42 AM

“How long have we been out?” You question fearfully.

“No idea,” he yawns. “Must have been a very long time though.”

Draco freezes in his spot, feeling his body crawl with what felt like tiny spiders when he saw who was standing at the end of one of the nearby corridors, a scowl on his face when they made eye contact.

“Go inside and get yourself cleaned up and ready for the day, love,” he rushed out, placing a quick kiss on your forehead and parted lips as he nudged you towards the entrance. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

You tiredly nodded, giving the required password to the common room before sneakily stepping inside and tip-toeing towards your room.

When the doors finally closed and you were gone, Draco turned down the corridor and started towards a furious Snape down the way. The raven-haired man stayed glued where he stood, patiently waiting for the young Death Eater to approach him so he could swiftly unleash hell on him.

“I have been searching for you all night,” Snape snapped lowly. “Where did the two of you run off to?”

“We got stuck somewhere, but I’m here now,” Draco answers, staring into the accusatory eyes in front of him.

“You better hope you kissed her your final goodbye,” he snarls. “They’re coming tonight, and you must carry out your last duty - tonight.”

“Tonight?” Draco echoes emptily, feeling like whatever happiness he had left in his body from last night was slowly trickling down his body and out into the floor like a sad, melted popsicle.

“Yes, and after tonight you will no longer be a student here,” Snape reminds with a hushed tone. “Miss Y/L/N cannot follow you. I hope you understand that. it would be incredibly dangerous for you and her.”

“No,” Draco begins to shake his head in refusal, his heart dropping to his stomach as the realities began to set in. “I don’t want to leave her, I don’t know how.”

“I think it’s time you start figuring out how,” his Professor suggests inconsiderately. “Room of requirement at nightfall, you’re opening up the cabinet for them so they’re able to transport. Come alone and prepared to leave the school.”

Before Draco could try to argue, Snape brushed past him and disappeared down the corridor and past a corner, leaving behind a pain-stricken boy who was stupidly in love with someone he couldn’t find in him to let go.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Something was off and unsettling, you noticed. You weren’t sure where it came from, but you felt it eat away at you even though nothing had happened to you. You came home feeling wonderful from an impromptu dreamy night with Draco, completely love-struck and ditzy and halfway through your shower was when it was all washed away and replaced with dread.

You wondered if this is somehow how Draco was feeling before deciding against your gut.

I’m not a mind reader, you thought repeatedly.

It was odd how you saw him nowhere around the school, even more, odd when you hadn’t seen him in your shared Potions class that left you partnering up with your friend who didn’t mind the on and off switching. She asked you eagerly about your disappearance, expecting juicy details but was immediately bored when you gave her a watered-down story of what had happened.

“Oh, we were just watching the stars and accidentally fell asleep outside,” you lied, trying to force excitement in your voice to make the story more believable.

“That’s it?” she deadpanned. “You guys are so boring. Also, what if something attacked you guys? The Forbidden Forest is right there.”

You rolled your eyes, secretly wishing the two of you really were a simple boring couple and not facing the most life-threatening and scariest adversities.

“I’m sure one of us would’ve woken up if we heard something,” you shrug and she sighs, shaking her head.

There was still no sign of him after this class. And there was still no sign of him after the rest of the schooling day had ended.

You sat with your friends in the bumbling busy courtyard, listening to them quietly as they chatted happily. You were worried out of your mind, the pit in your stomach growing wider when you saw Draco’s familiar group of Slytherins gathered together in the distance, not a single platinum head in sight.

As the day continued into the evening and people were making their trip over to the Great Hall, you made up a quick excuse to your friends and broke off from them to scourge the school in its emptiness. It was quickly getting dark, you finally decided to follow your instincts and let yourself bound down the stoned staircase towards the even darker lit dungeons. It was empty and cold, a dooming atmosphere for no apparent reason.

As you were about to turn around, you heard the door to the Slytherin common room open and relief flooded you when you saw Draco emerge from the exit with a new black suit on, perfectly styled and gelled hair, and a somber expression on his face. He looked paler than usual, almost gray, the way he looked when you had found him that day in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom with a curse ravaging his body.

“Draco!” You called out to him excitedly, running towards him and wrapping your arms around him tightly when you reached him. He felt rigid underneath your touch, a distant look in his eyes as he looked down at you quickly. “Where have you been all day?”

“I’ve had to take care of some stuff,” he murmurs in response.

“Are you okay?” You ask carefully as you observed him. He was cold, emotionally, and physically. He resembled his house’s ghost, the Bloody Baron, cold and angry with hidden despair - just without all the blood.

“I’m fine.”

You stepped away from him at his answer, peering up at him in confusion at his sudden aloofness.

“I need to tell you something,” he ends up breathing out after a moment of awkward tension. His hand wraps around your forearm instead of his usual spot in your hand, nearly dragging you towards an empty classroom that was a few feet away from where you both stood.

He closed the door warily behind him once the two of you were inside, the dingy lamps in the room automatically lighting up when they sensed a presence so you wouldn’t be left in the dark.

“So, what do you need to tell me?” You begin to wring your hands in distress, not feeling hopeful under his miserable gaze.

“We need to end this, here, right now,” he spits out quickly, a troubled expression taking over his features as soon as the words left his lips.

There was a thick silence that fell over the room, a heavy tension that grew with every passing second was bursting at the seams of the walls. You couldn’t think straight, your heart feeling like it had fallen into your back and your stomach bubbling dangerously with bile you desperately wanted to release.

“What do you mean,” you ask stupidly. The tiniest piece of you was desperately hoping that he had meant something completely different than your relationship.

“You and me,” he pointed between the two of you brokenly. “I have to kill Dumbledore tonight, and then I have to leave.”

“I’ll go with you,” you promptly offer, nodding in agreement with yourself.

“You can’t,” he asserts sadly, walking up to you and placing both hands on either side of your biceps, gripping you tightly in place as if you were toppling over. “Y/N, this is the one time you can’t help me. If you come with me tonight, someone will hurt you.”

You stared up at him in dread, relentless tears streaming down your face as he stared back at you with the same look. He was breaking apart, his insides shriveling up in agony while he spoke and continued to hurt you.

“But when will I see you again?” you cry out hoarsely, letting your head fall against his chest as he moves to hug you tightly.

“I don’t know,” he whispers out.

“Draco, please let me come with you,” you begin to plead into the jacket of his suit. “I’ll hide, transfigure me into a goblet, anything! Just please don’t leave again. You promised!”

“I can’t,” he shakes his head. You felt his hot tears land onto the top of your hair, adding more fuel to your anguish. “You have to stay here, in this room, until I’m gone.”

“Are you that dense?” you cry wildly, pushing yourself away from him as you gave him a look of pure anger. “You expect to let me wait here like a sitting duck while I could be out there helping you somehow.”

Draco watched you with remorse, his hand reaching into his suit pocket before drawing his wand out on you with a vigorous trembling hand. You gasped, quick to reach for your own with the same shakiness before it was thrown out of your grasp the second you pointed it at him.

“Expelliarmus,” he said quickly, voice matching his hand. He looked at you painfully again before sputtering out, “locomotor mortis.”

Your legs locked together from beneath you, sending you tumbling backward into an empty desk beside you. You caught yourself on the edges of the desk, staring agape at a shuddering Draco a few feet away.

“I’m sorry,” he cried hard, “I’m so sorry, but I have to keep you safe.”

“Draco, I swear,” you wailed out in despair, “if you leave me here, I will never forgive you.”

Draco halted, contemplating his next move for only a minute. His heart thudding fast against his chest, yearning to give into you as he weighed out his options. He swallowed thickly and turned on his heel towards the door. When his hand landed on the brass handle, he turned back one more time to look at you and felt his world completely and irreversibly shatter.

You were in hysterics, legs stuck together and your hands barely being able to hold yourself up on the desk. You had a despondency about you now, weeping strongly in heartbreak that was caused by him.

He speedily opened the door and threw himself out, shutting it tightly once again and placing his wand against the handle.

“Colloportus,” the lock chimed with a magnifying and powerful click.

He let his head quietly fall against the door, tormenting himself further when he heard your continued cries and now yelling out a pained, “you promised!”

Nothing was holding him together now as he ripped himself away from the door and began his walk to the room of requirement. There was no more hope, no more tranquility, no more comfort. He couldn’t run back to you at the end of the night and let you heal him with soft reassurances and tender kisses. He couldn’t feel your hug anymore or the way you’d lull him to sleep after a rough day with your hands in his hair. It was all gone, all of it. Including you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You don’t know how long you cried or when you had fallen to the floor and accidentally fallen asleep in your hopelessness.

When you finally woke up, the room was especially dark now, the lights having been dimmed to nothing as the room had thought you were gone. All you could feel was grief and dejection, everything you knew and loved had been torn away from you; because it was.

When you subsequently felt some of your energy return, you rolled yourself around the floor, extending your arm to grab onto something sturdy so you could hoist yourself up and begin looking for your wand. Luckily, the lights lit up again when they sensed your figure begin to hop around the room, allowing you to search much more easily.

You hopped down each row of scattered desks, searching high and low for where your wand might have been thrown when you were disarmed. You mentally cursed Draco again for the thousandth time that night, the throbbing in your body growing stronger while you thought of how he had left.

You found yourself regretting the bluff you threw at him, feeling stupid now that he was gone with the idea that you might hate him. You regretted letting your rage and sadness get to you, yelling at him things you didn’t mean all because you were angry he was trying to do to protect you.

Stuck in your head and mindlessly hopping towards the front of the room where Draco had hit you with both spells, you didn’t see your wand under your shoe until it had rolled out from underneath you, sending you falling into a set of desks that were lined up behind you.

The impact of the fall barely phased you, weakly shifting yourself upright and bending over and outstretching a hand towards your wand. When you finally felt it between your fingers, you dragged it towards you and into your grasp before hurriedly pointing it towards your legs and muttering the counter-curse to unbind yourself. Once you felt the feeling back in your legs, you jumped up and ran towards the door only to slam against it, unknowing to you that Draco had also spelled the door before he left.

“Arse,” you mutter, touching your wand against the lock and speaking out a clear, “alohomora.”

When you stepped out into the gloomy freezing corridor of the dungeons, you knew something was wrong. It was clear in the air that something awful had just happened, every feeling of sadness seeping deep into the stone of the castle.

You flew up the stairs, running as fast as you could towards the Quad where everyone was gathered like zombies. Your legs continued carrying you out, looking up at the sky to see a huge Dark Mark painted in the grayed clouds above. Your gut was screaming at you the reason why, but you didn’t want to believe it until you had seen the evidence of your thoughts lying on the ground not far from you.

It was Dumbledore, motionless, and gone.

Harry was sitting above him, Ginny hugging him tightly as he cried quietly. You felt your tears prick your eyes, feeling guilty that you had known all along what was going to happen, guilty that you couldn’t do anything to stop it, guilty that there was no one to challenge against the evil that doomed the wizarding world, guilty that you couldn’t help Draco against it.

You kept telling yourself he couldn’t have done it, he couldn’t have, but it was clear as day - the scene in front of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat, allowing yourself to cry with your school in grief, crying even more while the second loss you experienced tonight had begun to work itself back into your tears.

And when everyone had cleared out, and it was just Harry and a few others, including some Professors, you begrudgingly made yourself walk up to the group. It was hard, seeing Harry and his friends stare at you with a look you couldn’t quite place. A look between pity and something unidentifiable.

“I’m sorry,” you let out hoarsely to Harry as you finally neared them. “I know this must be hard for you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he answered awkwardly. “I saw it happen, you know.”

“Oh,” you frown, rubbing your sweaty palms against your jeans as you waited for him to curse you out, to yell at you for Draco’s wrongdoings and murderous feat. But he didn’t. He only stared at you sadly.

“If you wanted to know,” he began, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie as he spoke, “Malfoy didn’t do it, he couldn’t.”

There was a solace that ran deep within you at the revelation. A shaky exhale quietly falling from your lips while you tried to hide your relief. You silently thanked the stars for sparing Draco, knowing now that there was still hope he could be saved.

“So then who did it?” You ask timidly.

“Snape,” he shook his head glumly, “it was Snape.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

There was a loud snapping sound ringing throughout the Malfoy Manor as Draco apparated inside the living room with his mother, clutching tightly onto her as he stumbled over his feet, feeling sick to his stomach and distraught at everything he had to live through that night.

He fell to his knees, backing himself up against a wall as he began clutching at his chest, gasping desperately for air as his panic attack had started to tear away at him. He was breathing erratically, tears falling from his eyes in rivers as he tried to remove the suit jacket that felt too tight against him.

Narcissa Malfoy looked down at her son, fear and sorrow suddenly undertaking her as she bent down to sit in front of him. She was momentarily glad she felt the need to meet the others near the outskirts of the school’s failing barrier, instantly grabbing Draco from the group when everyone was planning on staying longer for further destruction. One broken look on his face was all she needed to whirl the two of them out of there and back into their large empty house.

“Breathe, Draco,” she said softly, placing a warm hand on his wet cheek as he continued to sob. “Breathe.”

“I left her,” he choked out through his tears, “mother, I left her!”

“Who?” Narcissa asked, puzzled. “Who did you leave?”

But he didn’t answer her. He only cried harder and it didn’t stop even though his mother was holding him reassuringly in her embrace. She swiftly realized that there was more than he was letting on, and she knew that these weren’t only tears from what had happened with his failed task, she knew his tears mostly came from an ache deep within his heart, from an anguishing love.

“I left her there!” He cried loudly in her arms, clutching onto her tightly as he continued to struggle for his breath and sanity. She felt her own heart begin to break, wishing so deeply she could remove all hurt that stabbed at him.

“Draco, my love,” she tried again gently, “who did you leave?”

“Y/N,” he croaked out, “I left Y/N.”

PART 5

TAGLIST:

@viirgobbyy @bluesunflowersz @dreamyvcid @goddessofgames @natt-nih @cheesecakes-randomshitz @supersouthy @rebellionsarebuiltonhopee @peter-parka @thefandomplace @angelofslytherin @blueleonor @karentheugly

(I’m sorry if I forgot anyone, I <3 all of you and everyone who read this)

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mellow-em · 3 years

Text

Bittersweet Temptations

CHAPTER 3

[special dts: @bluewingedangel @siennamariia <3]

Your neighbors, Nathan and Elena, have been friends with your parents for years. Whether it’d be family gatherings or vacations, they were around; they were family. But when you return home from your final years of college, what will happen when you find that it isn't just them living in the house next door anymore?

_____________________________________

I wanted to say something.

I knew based on the long expressions plastered across their faces, that they were waiting impatiently for me to say something too.

But I physically couldn’t.

A knot cemented itself at the back of my throat, suffocating me as I tried to swallow. I could feel my mouth suffer through a drought as I did so.

All I could do was look at the three of them, internally wallowing in embarrassment with a load of questions making my head spin.

How could Nate and Elena keep something like that from me? What were they thinking? No. What was I thinking?

Suddenly, the voices of people scattered amongst the yard became too loud. Though, the stares directed towards me were louder.

“Y/n can you say something?”

Without even thinking, I felt my body turn away from them, and I carried myself away.

“Y/n?” I could hear Elena calling after me.

“I’ll just be a minute” I finally croaked back to her, relieved that I could finally get a word out.

I rushed past the deck towards the side of the house.

I knew in the back of my mind that I was being ridiculous. It wasn’t something to run away from; knowing they probably felt just as awkward telling me.

But I had to get away from Sam.

I couldn’t bear standing there while his smug grin could be seen in the corner of my eye.

It was driving me crazy.

Why does he insist on making this hard on me?

I continued to let my feet travel, not even worried about where I would end up. It felt good to step away from the chaos that my parents organized, for a while anyway.

But I soon found myself at the dead end of the street, in front of the wooded patches that lined the edges of the pavement; sectioning off the neighborhood from the forest.

Without any hesitation, I stepped past the barricading trees, and onto the trail that led to a place of sanctuary.

A small body of water sat on the indented ground, with blooming ferns and bushes fencing it. Farther away from the pond, large rocks collected together, forming makeshift seats to take in the atmosphere.

It looked like it belonged in a cheesy disney movie, or a landscape renaissance painting.

I found this place with Nate when I was little, and since then I would escape here when things become too much to handle.

I sat myself down on one of the largest slabs of rock, almost seeing the memories with Nate passing around me in the form of faded visuals; they were almost ghost-like.

I took myself into these moments one by one; succumbing to the laughter, the playfulness, the smiles, the thrill.

Even though I love my parents more than anything, the bundles of memories Nate and I shared, showed me a glimpse of adventure that my parents couldn’t give me.

The overwhelming feeling of contentment pushed a smile onto my face.

But in an instant, it all faded.

Sam.

That one moment with him feasted on my conscious mind like a ravenous vulture. It made my stomach churn in the worst possible way.

I sunk my head into my hands, huffing in frustration.

That is, until I heard a few raucous cracks of leaves and sticks not too far from me.

I fix my posture while whipping my head towards the direction of the noise, only to be met with guilty eyes.

Nathan stood there, leaning his upper body on the stiff trunk of a tree.

Perfect timing, Nate..

My lips flatlined as I scratched at the corner of my forehead, “Hey.”

He steps closer, leisurely but surely.

“Hey,” he gestures to the vacant space next to me, “can I?”

“Yeah.”

Placing both of his hands on his thighs, he plops down next to me, slightly grunting. We sat there in silence; but it wasn’t peaceful, it was impatient.

The both of us were longing to say something to one another, but neither of us preferred confrontation in the slightest. So we sat there, staring at the grove.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been here.”

I look over to him, noticing the tinge of nostalgia sketched upon his features.

“uh yeah.. yeah it really has,” I release a breath, reverting my eyes back to the pond, “almost 5 years.”

It was two days before I left for college. Screaming echoed throughout the house, and reverberated through my head, overwhelming my senses.

My parents chalked it up to being stressed over ‘my big move,’ which I can believe. But the words said that day pushed its way through me. I finally had enough of the nonsense and hollered back at them.

Big mistake. ‘you’re an absolute failure’ They said, ‘you’re never gonna go far.’

Long story short, I ran out of the house, and into the forest. I sat on this same rock, with tears planting glistening streams down my face.

Nate apparently heard the commotion, which wasn’t too surprising, and he made his way to me.

He didn’t even say a word before wrapping his arms around me; embracing me with a comforting warmth that slowly eased me back to normal.

‘Sic Parvis Magna,’ He said.

I was more than confused with those few words, until he began to speak once more.

‘Greatness from small beginnings. Now this isn’t exactly small, you know, with you leaving me here to go to college and all. But it is a new beginning- your new beginning. Don’t let anyone stop you from moving forward.’

That was the last day I saw this beautiful spot of ours, and the last time I really had a solid conversation with Nate; it made the final memory bittersweet at best.

“It really hasn’t changed a bit though.”

“Probably because change is dining elsewhere,”I tried to whisper under my breath, but unfortunately, he heard me loud and clear.

I look up at him in the corner of my eye, noticing his presence fall into a sea of guilt again.

He runs his hand through his surprisingly neatened hair, letting out a sigh that releases all of his proper posture.

“Look, y/n, I wanted to tell you. I really did. But it’s just-”

“Nate all I gotta ask is why? Why would you keep something that major from me?”

I had my body fully turned to face him now, while he still remained there; slouched with his head bowed to his fidgety hands.

I could tell he was stalling, swallowing his responses with force.

“Nate. Just tell me. Please.”

His eyes closed as he exhaled, “It’s a very long story.”

“I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Not exactly.” Roars of laughter within the distance cause both of us to look at the trail leading out of the woods, “we’ve still got a party going on, which happens to be for you, if I may add-”

“Seriously Nate, you think I care?” I was growing fretful, mentally pleading for him to just give up on excuses.

His hands raised in defense, “Fine, fine, okay..”

———

It didn’t even occur to us how long we’d been out here until the streams of sunlight disappeared from the ruptures in between the trees. The day was just replaced with the beginning of nightfall.

“So you’re telling me that Sam, your brother...who was presumed dead for 15 years, dragged you out across the globe to find Henry Avery’s treasure in 3 months because a drug lord was gonna kill him if you didn’t?”

Nate stifled a low chuckle, nodding along.

“So I take it you found it and gave the son of a bitch his cut? Well, since he’s alive and all-”

“Hey, language missy.” He attempted a scolding tone, but I could see through his thin facade.

I rolled my eyes, shoving him playfully,“Haha very funny. Now answer the question mister.”

“Well, it turns out the son of a bitch was Sam. He uh- lied about the whole thing.”

My eyes widened, “Wait what? So the drug lord- the sole purpose of the treasure hunt..”

“Yep it was all bullshit.”

I averted my wide-eyed gaze from him to the pond that was now lit with the blaring lights of fireflies,“Wow. I’m surprised no one got the chance to kick him in the face.. or balls.”

“Yeah Rafe- he pretty much took care of that one..”

The both of us laughed, causing a few birds to flutter away from the branches closest to us.

I missed this.

“Figured I’d find you two here.”

As our fit died down, we glanced over to a beaming Elena emerging from the trail with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I told your parents that you were comin’ over with us. I assumed you wanted some space from all the chaos.”

I showed my relief in the form of a warm simper, up until the realization punched me in the face.

Sam is gonna be there.

My body tensed, becoming a stiff statue in place. The lack of saliva in my mouth was back, and I felt my breath hitch silently.

I guessed the two of them noticed my change in demeanor.

“Are you okay y/n? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Elena’s tone was gentle, as her grin faltered slightly.

“No no it’s fine it’s just- it’s nothing don’t worry,”I abruptly stood up, scratching at my forehead again, “lets go, back.”

“You sure?,” I felt Nate’s arm fall over my shoulders, giving me a faint squeeze as the three of us trudged down the path.

I needed to take my mind off of Sam, hopefully I can avoid him.

“Yeah..” my voice trailed off, “as long as I get to play a certain game that I happened to have the highest score of.” walking confidently with my head held high, I could still see Nate rolling his eyes.

“Actually, Elena has since claimed that title for herself.” Nate said frankly.

A dramatic gasp escapes my lips,“Elena, are you kidding me!”

“Hey, don’t get mad at the pregnant lady here,” she looks back at Nate and I as we continue to walk down the trail, “how about this: you two compete to try and beat my high score.”

Nate looks down at me with the same contemplative look I give him.

“And what’s the catch, hun?” Nate asks.

“Loser gets pushed or thrown into the pool.”

Well well well, Elena’s finally getting in on our shenanigans.

I smirked, “This is gonna be light work.”

“Oh really now? I just know you’re secretly afraid that I’m gonna win.”

“Sure, Nate. I’m not gonna lose, you’re all bark and no bite.”

It was his turn to let out a theatrical breath,“How dare you accuse me of such a thing?”

While Nate and I went on with our child like banter, Elena laughed hysterically at our foolishness,“You two are absolutely ridiculous.”

Nate glances back at me, only this time his fist patiently waited in front of me for a fist bump, “you ready to get destroyed?”

I scoff, hitting my fist on his, “You’re on.”

#sam drake x reader #samuel drake x reader #uncharted fanfiction #sam drake #uncharted #uncharted 4 #samuel drake #nathan drake #naughty dog #elena fisher #sam drake fanfiction

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sinner-as-saint · 4 years

Text

You Were Made To Be Mine - 2.

Pirate!Bucky x Mermaid!Reader

Part 2 of this series

Run-through: Bucky is one of the greatest pirates ever known. Living peacefully in his vast and flourishing archipelago; filthy rich and respected by all those around him. He is the leader of his people and his massive fleet, and is viewed as no less than a king by his crew and the people on his lands. He, however, has a secret that he keeps from everyone. The infamous and brawny pirate has lost his heart to one of the most beautiful creations he’s ever seen – you. Ever since the moment he saw you, he knew that you were meant to be his. But he belonged to the earth, you to the ocean. Could love and resilience somehow find a way to unite two worlds?

Themes: mermaid!reader, mythological elements, pirate!bucky, fluff, angst

Bucky had never experienced heartache before.

But right now, as he was sat alone on the rock where he usually met up with you at nightfall, he concluded that no pain was more terrible than the heartache he felt when you didn’t show up at your regular meeting spot one night.

His throat hurt given he had called out your name so much and so loudly for the past hour or so. Usually, whenever he called, you’d show up within seconds. But today, it had been over an hour and there was no sign of you. Fear, worry, guilt and pain – it all hit him right in the face like a harsh wave.

“Where are you, my little pearl?” he murmured to himself in his hoarse voice as he sat on the rock alone, sulking and missing you so terribly he felt physically sick. Now he understood why the saddest lovers wrote the most devastatingly beautiful poems because right now Bucky felt overwhelmed by emotions he didn’t know one could feel and if he had a pen and paper in hand, he would write the most melancholic of poems while he pines for you as well.

My little pearl… Bucky chuckled sadly at the nickname he gave you a while ago. It started when one day you brought him the prettiest shell you had ever found, and inside it was a lovely, shiny little pearl.

“Isn’t it the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” you had asked, excitedly showing him what you had found that day.

Bucky nodded. “It is pretty, but not more that you.” And since, he loved how you blushed and hid your face each time he called you ‘his little pearl’ after that. And given the ocean was your home, the nickname was very fitting.

The fear settled in not long after. What if you were lost somewhere and you couldn’t find your way back? What if you were injured? What if you were lost and injured and couldn’t call out for help? What if… what if you had found a merman and decided to stay because Bucky wasn’t worth it? He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help but think so.

No!

Bucky’s possessive nature took over and he was going crazy with each passing moment spent in your absence. His anger soon morphed into complete and utter sadness. And he was miserable. He had seen you just a day ago, but he missed you terribly already. Your hair, your soft lips, the vibrant colors of your tail, your warm but damp hugs; all of you.

He stayed put there for the entire night, alert and waiting. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited until dawn, and he rowed back to his island; sad and heartbroken. Did you leave him? Were you lost? Did you find someone else? Were you injured or trapped somewhere because of your obsession with that mythical potion?

If it weren’t for Steve running into him as he made his way home, Bucky would’ve shed a tear or two. That’s how much he was hurting.

“You look like a mess.” Steve pointed out. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with Bucky.

Been waiting for the love of my life to show up at our usual meeting spot, but she didn’t come. I don’t know if she’s mad, or in trouble or hurt, or all of that. “Just out.” Bucky replied and made his way to his home, in desperate need for some hours of sleep.

Nightfall came again and Bucky rowed back to the isles at around midnight. He didn’t find you on the rock like he always did, again. He didn’t see the flicker of excitement of your fins as he got closer. He didn’t see you. And his heart felt like it was being torn apart.

He called out your name again. And again. And again like a madman. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited on top of the rock again, looking up at the starry night sky and drowning in his sadness. Then out of nowhere, he heard the soft splash of water he knew all too well.

“Sweetheart, is that you?” he sat up straight and looked around; alert again. He heard the splash again. And the spark of hope inside him which was fading out, came to life again. With the help of the burning torch by his side, he could see quite well.

And then he saw it. The shiny tail, the silky fins and the beautiful face he was madly, dangerously and hopelessly in love with.

“Y/N!” he called out your name and didn’t think twice before jumping in the water and met you in the middle as you made your way to him. You had the biggest smile on your face as he swam towards you. He threw his arms around you and held on to you to keep himself afloat but also to hold you as close to him as possible.

You giggled at how he behaved almost like a little child, clinging to you for dear life. You wouldn’t lie, supporting the muscular man and yourself above water was a little hard. But you welcomed his almost suffocating embrace without any complaints because you had missed him terribly and you were aware you hadn’t come to meet him yesterday so you had to make up for it.

“I missed you!” you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and your lower body worked extra hard to keep the two of you above the surface.

Bucky almost shed tears, he couldn’t believe you were here in flesh and blood, not a fragment of his imagination, but the real you. “Never disappear like that ever again, you hear me?” he sounded relieved and angry and heartbroken all at once as he chided you but also held you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“I won’t, I promise. I’m sorry.” You whispered in his ear, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and relished his warmth. The water was cool, so his body heat felt heavenly. Bucky pulled away and swam on his own for a bit, realizing that he had shifted all his weight onto you earlier.

“Where the hell were you?” he sounded hurt. “I was waiting, I waited the whole night.” He recalled how upset he was last night and you felt guilty for not showing up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t explain why you didn’t show up! Where were you?” he wasn’t going to let you go without getting the truth out.

You hung your head down in shame and guilt. And Bucky knew what that look meant. “Come on up.” He swam over to the rocks and climbed up, thinking you were right behind him. But when he turned to look at you, he found you still in the water. He frowned. “Sweetheart, come on up.” He held his hand out for you. You swam a little closer but stayed in the water.

“I’m… I’m good here actually.” You tried your hardest to convince him but he didn’t buy any of it. He raised an eyebrow at your words.

“You don’t want to come up on our rock?” he sounded confused. And you couldn’t help but faintly smile at how it was ‘our rock’.

You shook your head gently. “No, I’m fine here.” You lied.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “Okay, just…” he exhaled loudly. “Tell me what’s going on, okay? Because first you disappear out of nowhere, then you come back a day later and act like this. What is going on?” he had the right to be a little mad. Hell, if he just disappeared out of nowhere like that you would be pretty upset as well.

You kept your head hung and decided to just be honest and tell him truth. So you began; you told Bucky about how you went to search for the potion. And how you accidentally found yourself in unknown, deep, dark and dangerous waters; far from home. And how you got lost for a long while, and almost became the meal to larger predators. And how you escaped, but were injured because one of them chased you and almost sank its teeth completely into your tail. You told him how you returned home; worn out, injured and bleeding and unable to swim properly. One of your siblings tended to your wound as soon as you got home but the pain was so bad that you passed out for hours and only woke up a few minutes ago.

Bucky listened attentively. Each new piece of information about the terrible situation hit him like a violent storm; leaving him breathless and mind blown in the worst way. So his gut feeling had been right all along; you were indeed lost and hurt so far away from him. And had things turned out just a little differently, he would perhaps never see you again.

Bucky remained quiet even when you were done talking, sheepishly filling him in on all that you did and all that happened to you. You knew a long lecture about your safety was coming sooner or later. But honestly, this time you deserved it. Then again, you were doing this for both of you. You were desperate to be part of his world and share this life with him, and you couldn’t do so until you were able to walk the ground he walks on.

After a few long minutes of silence, after processing all of it, he spoke up, “Let me see it.” He asked, referring to the wound you had gotten.

You got to the sandy shore and waited for Bucky to approach you with the burning touch in his hand. He squatted down beside you and inspected your tail thanks to the light provided by the torch. He found the wound at around the middle of your tail. A long, irritated and bloody gash. Part of which was wrapped in algae; he remembered you telling him that some algae were used as medicines by merpeople.

His demeanor changed as soon as he saw the wound. He felt guilty, because he was the initial reason why you were chasing after this potion. In some ways, although indirectly, he was the reason why you were hurt and he almost lost you forever had it not been for luck or your extreme survival skills and courage.

“What was it?” he asked, his voice was calm but it didn’t hide his anger nor his guilt completely.

“I didn’t see. It was too dark down there. But it was big and scary and loud.”

You could feel something bad was coming. A gut feeling, or something told you that something was going to happen soon which would hurt you a hundred times more than the wound on your body. Bucky planted the torch on the sand, a few feet far from where you sat, and he plopped down next to you. And something told you he was gathering the courage to say something which was going to break you.

Truth is, he was hurting. Hurting so bad that he wanted to scream and shout and beg someone, anyone, to make it stop. Like a thousand cuts, open and raw and bleeding – the pain was indescribable. He almost lost you, and he was going crazy just thinking about it. His head was almost dizzy and his heart was racing. He wasn’t thinking straight. All he knew was that he was the reason why you could’ve gotten killed and worse part is, if you did – he would never know.

“I can’t risk losing you.” he said, looking down at the sand beneath him.

You watched him intently. It always amazed you how perfect his side profile was. Perfect lips, perfect nose. Only today, his pretty eyes were sad. “You’re not going to. I’m fine. I came back, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but you also almost got eaten by some mysterious sea monster. And if you did, that would be on me.”

Oh no… you knew where this was going. “But I didn’t. I-,”

He cut you off quickly. “I love you, alright? I love you and I never knew it was humanly possible to love someone this much. But Y/N, I can’t sit here and watch you try to get yourself killed over something which probably doesn’t exist!” he paused, chest heaving as he tried to contain his emotions. “What if you go out there tomorrow and this time you didn’t come back? What then?”

You hung your head down as the image of a heartbroken Bucky filled your head. “What happened yesterday isn’t going to happen again. I know what to look out for now.”

“Do you?” he asked calmly, trying to make you realize that this was wrong. “You need to get this myth and give up this crazy obsession, you hear me? Why can’t we be normal and happy without it? Why can’t we just-,”

You cut him off rather coldly. “Because look at us!” you raised your voice a little. “There’s nothing normal about us! We can’t be anything more than this without it, it’s our only hope, why don’t you get it? We both want the same thing, Buck. I need to be with you, I want to. And this will-,”

He shook his head and then turned to you, “Can’t you see what’s happening? You almost got killed because of it!” he was getting hyper too.

You waited a little while before answering, trying to read him. “Not being with you is killing me as well.”

That broke him.

His anger vanished into thin air. “Come here, my little pearl.” His voice softened as he carefully pulled you onto his lap. Your tail rested sideways on his lap and you placed your head on his shoulder while his wrapped his arm protectively around you. “You got hurt because of me.” He stated softly.

You sighed and persisted. “No.”

He pressed his lips to the side of your head. “Yes, and that can’t keep happening. I won’t allow you put yourself in danger on my account.”

No… “Please don’t leave me.” You pushed your face into the crook of his neck to hide your tears. “Please.”

He sighed. “Can you promise me you will stop looking for that thing?”

“No.” You held on to the hope with all your heart that you will find it one day. You knew you were really close to finding it too, you couldn’t possibly give up now. Besides, once you did you and Bucky could be together forever without the barrier of physical differences and that was the only thing which mattered.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “This makes me feel so selfish. And guilty. And just overall terrible. You’re putting yourself in danger, you’re getting chased by predators, and you’re getting hurt and all for what? Me?” he paused and pulled away to look at you. “I love you that way you are, you don’t have to change for me. Just stop looking for this thing.” He sounded much calmer than before.

This was another fear of yours. How long would he be indifferent to the fact that you both were of different kinds? “A few years from now, you’re gonna want a wife. You’ll want kids, and a family. And I wouldn’t be able to give you any of that.”

“I don’t want any of that if it’s not with you.”

You sighed. He did too. Then he made a decision which hurt him more than anything. The sight of you wounded was heartbreaking. And he didn’t want to find you with a bigger wound the next day, or worse, he didn’t want you to lose your life. He would rather you live the rest of your life safely, without him, rather than risk your life trying to be with him.

“I have to let you go, my love.” he whispered the words you wished you hadn’t heard. You immediately circled your arms around him tighter and sniffled, nuzzling his neck.

“Please don’t.” you whispered. Bucky let the tear fall finally, unable to hold it in. You spoke again, “Each day I wake up and find that more and more of my people are moving far from here. It’s just a matter of time before they all leave, leaving me behind.”

The thought of you all alone down there where he couldn’t physically reach you or protect you was no less than a nightmare. But that path that you’d have to go down just to be with him was scary as well, and it would hurt you. So Bucky convinced himself that he was doing this for your own good. He took a deep breath, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “I have to do this.”

You sniffled again, tightening your arms around him. “No. You can’t give up on me. You’re all I have, Buck. Please.” You pleaded. He kissed the side of your head and cradled your head gently like you were a fragile glass figurine.

“You can have a long and beautiful life ahead. One where you won’t have to leave your home, where you won’t have to change or chase after a myth or get hurt-,” he stopped talking when he heard a sob escape your lips. He pulled you closer and hugged you tighter.

“No.” you cried, wetting his skin with your warm tears.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I love you, more than anything. And I know I will never be able to love another. But for your own well-being, I need to let you go. Because although it will kill me each day, I would rather live with the relief that you’re out there alive somewhere rather than live with the guilt that you got yourself killed while trying to be with me.” Bucky tried his hardest to keep his voice steady. He couldn’t.

“Don’t leave me.” Another sob left your lips.

He sighed, his breath shaky. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, I always will. But I can’t see you getting hurt like this because of me. This is for your own good.” He pressed one last kiss to the top of your head and carefully lifted you off his lap and set you down on the sand again.

He got up and your heart began racing much faster than earlier. You felt like you were about to pass out again. Your heartache morphed into rage inside of you, but you managed to contain it. “This is it then, huh? You’re just gonna leave me here like everyone else and forget me and move on with your life?” your sounded bitter and you had every right to be.

Bucky looked down at you and blinked his tears away. “I could never forget you. And I will love you till my dying day. Believe me, this isn’t any easier for me. But this is the only way to stop you from getting yourself hurt or killed. You need to let go of that madness.”

You chuckled dryly at his words. Borderline angry, borderline hurt. “You were wrong when you said you were selfish. You’re not just that, but you’re a coward as well.” Bucky watched how you wiped your tears and got back into the water. And before you swam away, you turned around to look at him. “If you change your mind, I hope you hurt just like you’re hurting me. But unlike you, I won’t be giving up on us.” You spat at him before you swam away as fast as you could.

As he watched you leave, he second guessed what he had done. He hoped you didn’t think that he loved you any less because you were different and belonged to a different world than him.

You didn’t think that way. And you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him but you had never expected him to take such drastic steps. You were hurting and before you knew it, you found yourself diving deeper. And while overthinking and bearing your heartache, realization hit a little later than usual and you found yourself swimming further and further away from home; into deeper and darker waters…

When Bucky got back home, he was greeted by his close friends all waiting for him in the well-lit dining room; all sat around the large, oval stone table with goblets in front of them. Bucky tried his hardest to greet them like he normally did.

“You know we can see right through your bullshit, right?” Sam spoke first. The rest of his friends stared at him and Bucky knew that they knew that something was up. They were the closest friends he had, they were family and he knew they could see right through him.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, trying to act cool and received a bunch of groans and sighs of frustrations.

Steve spoke up next, “You leave almost every day at midnight. You row to God knows where, then you come back at the crack of dawn. And now you look like you’re a sad trader who just lost all his ships.” Steve spoke almost teasingly, but his concern could be heard in his voice.

“We’re your family, you know you can tell us anything.” Thor spoke up next.

“What is it, Barnes? Tell us.” Okoye spoke after. She was the kindest, strongest woman Bucky had ever come across.

Bucky hesitated. Oh so they noticed? He was glad that they did, because that would make talking about it a little easier. Only the issue here was, would they believe him if he told them the truth? Or would they just think that he’s lost it?

“Bucky. Talk.” Sam was beginning to lose his patience.

Bucky took a deep breath as he took a seat at the table as well. He grabbed the nearby jug of wine and filled the goblet closest to him and took a long sip. Then exhaled loudly and began talking.

“It’s… a woman.” His first few words earned him curious looks and a smirk from Okoye. “Well, not exactly a woman but…”

Ten minutes later, Bucky finally finished filling his friends in on all that’s been going on for the past many months. He told them about his unusual love life involving you. And how things began getting complicated and then gave them necessary details about your recent break up. They listened with straight faces. And despite being a bunch who always joked around, they were surprisingly serious as he talked.

When he was done, his friends were all quiet for a whole minute. Then Okoye spoke up,“You broke that poor thing’s heart when she spent all this time loving you?”

When she put it like that, something shattered inside Bucky. “I… I love her and I couldn’t sit there and watch her-,” Bucky stopped talking as Okoye shot him a glare. And that glare spoke volumes so he immediately stopped talking.

“Don’t make excuses. You broke her heart.” Okoye said in her no nonsense tone. “She wanted to come live with you. Among us. What’s so wrong with that?”

Bucky answered quickly after taking another sip of wine. “There’s nothing wrong with that. But how could I support that decision of hers when it would only hurt her even more. And the worse thing is, even if she’s trapped somewhere down there, I would never know.” he took a deep breath. “What if she dies chasing this god damned potion? What about me then?”

His words did make his friends think some more. Maybe his intention had been right, but the way he dealt with the situation wasn’t so right.

Steve whispered under his breath, “Well, love really does make people go crazy.”

Bucky spoke up again. “She was so hell bent and obsessed with finding that nonsense that she wasn’t realizing she was putting herself in danger.” His chest heaved, his emotions choking him. “She shouldn’t have to change for my love. She should embrace who she is and live her life. And be safe and happy.” At this point, he began doubting his own words and actions.

Could he himself live without you? How long could he pretend that ‘doing the right thing’ wasn’t killing him already?

“Why are you so against the potion?” Thor asked.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “Because it doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a legend.”

“How do you know?” Sam asked, leaning back in his seat. His brown eyes staring into Bucky’s blue ones. “Months ago merpeople were myths to you as well. Now you’re foolishly in love with one of them.” he reasoned.

Bucky got really quiet again and avoided everyone’s eyes. Had he… had he made a terrible, terrible mistake?

Steve spoke up, leaning his elbows on the stone table. “Look, all this potions and merpeople, this all just proves that there’s a whole other world beneath us that we know nothing about. We should respect them. For their own safety, and we could at least try and protect them by keeping this a secret just between us.” He paused then stared at Bucky, “What we shouldn’t do is break their hearts when they’ve fallen in love with us!”

Yup, he deserved that one.

“You said it yourself, family and friends first. She’s your girl, she’s family. The least you could do was trust her and not give up on her.” Sam said in a serious tone. “Besides, how can you say for sure that she’ll give up on trying to find that potion now?”

Well shit. He hadn’t thought about that. He froze, tensing up at Sam’s words. Shit, shit, shit.

“You should go apologize. Now.” Okoye suggested.

Bucky groaned and wanted to bang his head on the wall. “She took off. She’s mad at me.” He mumbled and his friends all rolled their eyes at him and groaned in annoyance, mainly at his stupidity.

Heeding his friends’ words, Bucky went to find you the next day at nightfall. Except he didn’t have to be sneaky this time because they all knew he was leaving. But when he got to the isle and called out your name, you didn’t show up.

And a bad vibe loomed around him and around the place. He knew immediately that he had indeed, majorly messed up. He shouldn’t have let go of you like that. He thought he was doing the right thing but turns out, he ruined the best thing in his life.

Bucky waited at the shore. Heartbroken and hurt and angry – at himself. He was just trying to keep you safe. But in doing so, had he just lost the love of his life? For good this time?

#bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #pirate!bucky #mermaid!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #marvel au #bucky barnes

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reinerispretty · 4 years

Text

rotations. (zuko x f!reader) pt5

hi!! thank you so much for reading! again, i’m sorry for posting so much i just have a bunch of stuff pre-written and it’s fun to get it out there!

pt1

pt4

pt 6

“No one deserves to have their home destroyed, or have their family members ripped away from them! I saw what the Fire Nation did in my own city and countless others. The Fire Nation isn’t what I thought it was.” Her eyes welled with tears. “And neither are you.”

(Y/N) rested her chin on her hands as Appa flew over the land. It had been a few days since she had joined the Avatar and his friends, but already had she experienced way more than she ever would have in her life in the Fire Nation. Just the other day, they had saved an entire town from a volcano! She wasn’t a powerful enough bender to control lava, but she did help steer Appa so the sky bison could use his airbending to cool it down. She and the group decided that it was best if they saved her firebending for a rainy day. People in the towns that they were visiting weren’t too keen on having firebenders there.

From Appa, if she looked down, she could see dark spots across the green and yellow lands. Burned land. She had seen enough of it from her balcony of her mansion back in the Earth Kingdom. Her father had explained to her why their soldiers burned the peoples’ land. “Destroying what they need to survive keeps them in their place,” he had said. She remembered her stomach turning sour as soon as the words left his mouth.

“For the longest time, I believed that what the Fire Nation was doing was good and necessary. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

“Yeah, people from the Fire Nation tend to be pretty dumb.” Sokka polished his boomerang. She turned around to glare at him.

“You don’t get it. They don’t teach us in our schools that we’re burning down villages for the fun of it. They tell us that we’re only trying to help. They brainwash the kids into thinking that all we’re--all they are trying to do is make a better life for everyone.”

“Just because you didn’t know what the Fire Nation was doing doesn’t excuse them for what they did,” Sokka shot back. She huffed, feeling her anger growing.

“I never said that!”

“Well you’re acting like it!”

“I literally saved you from Fire Nation soldiers!”

“Guys, can we please stop fighting?” Aang sighed. “It’s making Appa uncomfortable.”

“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want Appa to be uncomfortable, now would we?” Sokka scoffed. She chucked her pillow at him.

“You’re the rudest person I’ve ever met! The Fire Nation as a whole does not represent who I am!” Huffing, she turned away from Sokka and tilted her chin up to the sky.

It was nightfall before anyone talked again. Sokka was fast asleep toward the back of Appa’s saddle. Katara had crawled over to (Y/N), who sat sulking as far away from him as possible. “I’m sorry for what Sokka said earlier,” She said, her blue eyes kind and soft. “We know the Fire Nation doesn’t define who you are as a person. It’s just really hard for Sokka and I to get comfortable with you being around. You see, Fire Nation soldiers raided our villages and killed our mother.”

(Y/N) felt her anger slip away and be replaced with guilt. If she had known that, she wouldn’t have let herself become so quick to anger. Sokka was dealing with emotions that she couldn’t possibly understand.

“I’m sorry for getting angry,” she said quietly. “I had no idea the Fire Nation had done that to you, truly. And if I could apologize on behalf of the entire nation, I would.” She sighed, pulling her legs close to her chest. “I’ve been around a lot of people who have done some very bad things, sometimes to the people I care about. I really cannot express how sorry I am, Katara.”

The girl smiled, her blue eyes watery from holding back tears. “It’s okay. We’ll bring the Fire Nation to justice one day.” (Y/N) nodded in agreement. “Would you mind telling me how the Fire Nation has hurt you too? I think it might help me understand you a bit better.”

She inhaled a deep breath. “Well, when I still lived on the Fire Nation mainland, there was a boy I really...liked. He was only fourteen, still just a kid, but he spoke up when he wasn’t supposed to. He was challenged to an Agni Kai, which is a traditional firebending duel. He went up against a person who was ten times stronger than him.” (Y/N) swallowed the sob in her throat that always formed when she thought of that day. “The whole point of the duel is that you win when you burn another opponent. He was burned very badly that day and was banished from the Fire Nation. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“I’m really sorry,” Katara said, and (Y/N) shook her head.

“Goodness, no, don’t even apologize. It’s nothing compared to what happened to you and Sokka. How about we get some sleep? I can’t imagine what tomorrow is gonna be like.”

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The next day had proved to be very troublesome for (Y/N). Their group had divided, with Sokka and Katara choosing to follow Bato to their father since Aang had hidden his coordinates from them. She understood where the young boy had been coming from: when she had first joined the group, she had definitely felt like an outsider, but things had slowly gotten better. It was unfortunate that Sokka and Katara had left them, but (Y/N) knew it was now her duty to get him to the Northern Water Tribe so he could continue his waterbending training.

This plan went south as soon as the bounty hunter arrived. The beast she rode kicked up so much dust that it became hard for (Y/N) to see. She had lost sight of Aang and she knew he was in trouble, but the last thing she wanted was to blindly shoot fire and risk hurting someone. So instead, she stumbled through the dust until she could see properly.

“Look out!” Was all she heard Sokka shout before he knocked her to the ground. She groaned as she fell, opening her eyes to see Sokka’s blue ones staring down at her.

“What’d you do that for?” She grumbled, shoving him off of her.

“I saved you from a fire blast! A thank you would’ve been nice!”

“I’m a firebender! I can handle a fire blast, you can’t!” She jumped to her feet, ready to defend her friends from the source of the blasts.

What she expected to see through the dust was a bounty hunter or a Fire Nation soldier. Who she had not expected to see, however, was Prince Zuko. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her body. Seeing her old friend brought a flood of feelings back to her, but she tried her best to suppress them. She wanted to run into his arms and squeeze him into a hug. But then she pieced it all together. It was Zuko who had been hunting Aang. He was the one who raided Katara and Sokka’s village. A lot had changed since the two of them had last seen each other, that was obvious.

It took Zuko a few seconds to recognize her. She was still in her Earth Kingdom clothes, as the disguise helped her travel between cities without being recognized. But he would recognize her (color) eyes anywhere. He stopped in his tracks; his arms lifted for another attack.

“(Y/N)?” He asked. He glanced between her and the Avatar.

In her fifteen years of life, not once had she firebended against Zuko. But she had a duty to her new friends and to the rest of the world. She ran at him, flipped forward, and kicked fire into his face. Zuko’s arms cut through her fire. He grunted angrily.

“What are you doing?” He demanded. She didn’t answer. She shot fire at him again, but he dodged.

“I won’t let you hurt him!”

“Traitor!” Zuko roared, firing blasts back at her. She avoided them easily. She had always been praised for being light on her feet. Taking gymnastics with Ty Lee had allowed her to dance in between the flames. Zuko had only gotten better over the years. This would be a tough battle to beat. She kicked him in the stomach, knocking him off of his balance for a few moments.

“You guys get out of here!” She shouted to her friends. “I’ll hold him off!”

“We’re not leaving without you!” Katara shouted back. Zuko shot fire that missed her face by inches.

“Go!” She shouted to them. She shot fire blasts from her firsts, driving Zuko away from her. She heard Appa fly away and in her heart, she hoped they would come back for her. She realized a moment too late that the bounty hunter’s beast had reached its tongue toward her. Paralyzed, she fell to the ground, knocking herself unconscious from the fall.

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She sat in the hold of the Fire Nation ship with her hands cuffed behind her back, preventing her from bending her way out. She had woken up in that dark room, with the only light being from the torches on the outside of the cell. It amused her a bit that she had been captured by the nation she once called home, but really, she had spent most of her time wondering when her friends would come for her. It would be incredibly dangerous for them to infiltrate a Fire Nation ship, especially Aang. He was the prize that Zuko wanted, after all.

Speaking of Zuko, he had been sitting in front of the bars of her cell since she had woken up. They both had been silent. She wanted to speak to him, but she wasn’t sure what to say. It was obvious the Agni Kai had changed him for the worse. He had been absolutely ruthless when they were fighting in the village. It had taken everything in her to fight him off, but it obviously hadn’t been enough.

The heavy metal door swung open and she looked up to see Iroh, Zuko’s uncle. She had always liked Iroh. He told her funny stories whenever he visited the royal palace. He had played Pai Sho with her on more than a few occasions. He was a kind man, who didn’t really fit in with his family at all. She sat up immediately, a bright smile on her face.

“Iroh!” She said cheerfully. “It’s wonderful to see you.”

“Zuko,” Iroh scolded. “What is our dear friend doing in a cell?” Zuko glared at her.

“She’s with the Avatar now. She’s a traitor.”

“Traitor is a harsh word, in my opinion,” She replied. “I think I like the word rebel more.”

“Don’t get cheeky with me!” Zuko snapped.

“Is this true, (Y/N)?” Iroh asked. She looked away from him and refused to answer.

“Where did the Avatar go?” Zuko demanded. She scoffed.

“As if I’d tell you.”

��As your prince, I demand you to answer me!”

“So, am I a traitor, or are you still my prince? My head is killing me, Zuko, I can’t really keep up right now.” Humor was how she was choosing to deal with the pain of seeing the disappointment in Zuko’s eyes. She knew she was doing it for the right reasons, but she had let him down.

“You’re just as insufferable as you were when I left.” She felt the anger inside of her boiling.

“I’m insufferable? Says the boy who is still serving a country that banished him.”

“That’s why I need the Avatar, (Y/N)! So I can finally go home and restore my honor!”

“We both know it’s not going to be good enough for him, Zuko.”

He turned toward his uncle. “Leave us.” Silently, Iroh left, but not before flashing her a sad smile. “I can’t believe I thought that I would ask for your hand in marriage once I returned home.”

She scoffed. “Were you planning on filling me in of that plan in one of the letters you wrote to me?”

“Letters? I never--”

“Exactly. Even if I had stayed with the Fire Nation, I wouldn’t have agreed to your proposal. You might’ve been banished, Zuko, but it’s not hard to send a messenger hawk.”

“Is that why you became a traitor? Because I didn’t write to you?”

“Zuko, I promise that not everything is about you. Have you seen what the Fire Nation is doing to people? To innocent people?”

“It’s what they deserve!”

Zuko stormed out after she said that. (Y/N) lay back down on the ground and cried quietly as she mourned over the friend she once knew. The old Zuko was long gone.

---

Tag List!

@mdgrdians , @soft4kei , @bubblebars , @pleasantfankingdom , @vintageroses1014516 , @celamoon , @fangirlanotherjust , @gliderbudgie

Thanks so much for reading!! read part 6!!

#atla #avatar #zuko x reader #sokka x reader #aang x reader #katara #toph #zuko #sokka #aang #azula #iroh #writing #fanfiction

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fineosaur · 3 years

Text

first line game

thank you for the tags @littlerockerao3 and @salty-wench, i haven’t done one of these in a while and this one was super fun to compile (fair warning this IS quite long)

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line. then tag 10 of your favourite authors.

pieces of you stuck on me (but i’m careless and i’m wicked) -- a rickon x lyanna fwb multichap

He’d woken up alone, something he was often used to, but in the last months, he had grown more accustomed to waking up beside just one particular person. More or less a year if he was being honest with himself. But he wasn’t completely alone either, he was just alone in her bed.

we both coincide (when the world’s wasting time) -- a rickon x lyanna story that shows their relationship spanning over a few years

The moon is already out when he still finds himself at her side. She’s solid and warm in his embrace, swaying lazily with him to the strumming harp and the melodic voice that sing the words that seem to weave their way in his head, taking root as he tries to focus on just being there with her.

in the highlands of our dreams -- a single dad!rickon x lyanna fic that’s a lot on the softer side than my usual work

Most of his life had felt like there was an errant thumb on the fast forward button. At times he knew it had much to do with the way his thoughts often ran too fast, and even with long enough legs to chase them, they just kept their brisk pace. Other times, he wasn’t so much to blame.

watch me wary -- a rickon x lyanna fic where rickon goes off the grid for a few years and has to come back to face his family (aka rickon’s apology tour)

“You’re late again, kid.”

He rolled his eyes despite the verity in the statement. Pulling off his helmet, he held a hand out to shake the shorter man’s hand.

watch me wary (prequel) [title in progress] -- set in the stormlands 2 years after rickon leaves home and involves him falling in love with steffon seaworth

There was a feeling between relief and guilt that followed leaving home. Often times thought of as ‘running away’ or ‘disappearing’, at least ‘leaving home’ sounded so much more tempered.

an empire for two -- a canon-divergent robb x theon & rickon x lyanna fic which involves established throbb and an arranged marriage for lyckon

It was warmer inside the castle. It always was; with the hot water from the springs running through its walls, the castle lived and breathed through each change of season, chilling winters and weeping summers, not buckling for any.

where the stars do not take sides -- a oneshot set in a canon-divergent setting where rickon x lyanna spend a few last hours of peace together before they return to war

The snow falls around them rather gracefully. There’s often peace in the Godswood, and the distant howls of the wolves do nothing to deter from that. Though nightfall has come and its chill alike, they stand stiffly facing one another.

be with you -- a rickon x steffon oneshot that shows their relationship as well as how they fell in love

The floor manages to feel warm despite the hour. If he thinks hard enough, he guesses that they’re one of the only two left there.

His father’s office is littered in papers, stacks of words that blur into one with his boredom. Really what keeps him going is the way the man in front of him continues to push his mop of brown hair back, no matter how many times it falls back into his face as he leans over the glass desk.

sight for sore eyes -- mixed pov which has tommen pining for rickon who is pining for lyanna — true heather style

There’s a moment of reprieve that comes once the moon has passed its apex. Its scattered light plays amongst the stars that pepper the sky and the hazy streetlights that guide them through the night.

to feel like gold -- a lyanna x myrcella oneshot where myrcella chooses to indulge in a little rebellion with the girl that’s been on her mind for months

The room is almost too bright for her liking. It hardly fits her resentment. The brisk night air streaming through her windows suits her well enough, rippling over her arms in goosebumps as she feels the frown between her eyebrows deepen.

forest fires -- an arya x gendry oneshot set with a lunar eclipse and a brief moment of repose for the couple

The night’s brisk breeze doesn’t unsettle him like it used to.

It’s still cold though. The wind makes the hair on his arms stand up and he wonders why he hadn’t thought to wear a jumper over his thin cotton t-shirt.

help! -- a stark family -smutty crack fic- that involves ned and cat accidentally stumbling into each one of their kids in precarious situations with their partners

It almost felt like nothing had changed like her children were all still children. Like they’d never flown the coup. But as she stood there, holding a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice, she knew that a lot had changed, that every one of her kids had grown up, fallen in love and were seemingly happy. It flooded her with such relief to know so, though the still gentle tug at her heart was there, telling her that her babies would no longer run to her begging to be held after a nightmare.

it’s all hope -- canon compliant robb x theon oneshot that involves a love confession before theon sets off to pyke

Much like the fire within the hearth that beckoned him with its flickering warmth, he felt disquiet within himself.

The air felt thick, far more humid than that of the North’s. He could easily make out the Red Fork by where he stood, pulling at the laces of his tunic. It unsettled him, the rushing water, so fresh, unlike the brine of his home.

take one last look back-- a jon x satin drabble where the couple has a little spat in the car

The wind becomes distracting. With the way it whistles through his ears, blowing at those perfect curls of his, it even makes it abundantly clear how much his eyes sting.

When he leans back in his seat, his eyes meet the rearview mirror, where he can see his grey eyes, dark and stormy, the perfect juxtaposition to the gleaming sun that threatens a headache.

second nature -- a rickon x lyanna drabble that has a drunk rickon confessing his affections for his best friend, lyanna

She’s sitting in her car with one leg crossed when she sees him take a minute to check each side of the road before crossing. It’s 4 am, her car is really the only one on the road.

Her car is flanked on the side of the road and it’s completely unsurprising that his first instinct is to lower himself to her opened window and flash his stupidly white grin at her.

a troubled mind -- a robb x theon oneshot, after his parents’ deaths, robb overloads himself with responsibility and on the verge of falling apart he seeks comfort in the one person who’s always been there for him

He’s never gotten the opportunity to let it all get to him. There’s never been time for it. Not when there’s always been at least one other person that needs the safety his arms provide.

It’s part of being the oldest son, he tells himself far too often.

calmest wave -- an arya x gendry drabble, a post-show canon fix it where the couple are parents in the stormlands

The shattering waves could still be heard, breaking onto the rocky coast of Shipbreaker’s Bay, even from where they walked, with withered leaves crumbling underfoot.

There was tranquillity within the godswood, interspersed by the humidity carried across the Summer Sea and yet he still felt a breeze pick up, cooling him down as he gently held the small hand in his palm.

you were just dancing on your own -- an arya x gendry drabble where arya seeks comfort with gendry after a bad night

It’s still dark when Arya wakes up in her car; windshield covered in a think layer sleet. Her teeth chatter as she pulls her jumper tighter around herself, yellow haze in her eyes from the streetlights.

She’s in the passenger seat of her car, seat pushed back the most it can go. Her heater doesn’t work, no matter how much she bruises her knuckles against the vents.

high, high love -- an arya x gendry oneshot - set in the pieces of you stuck on me universe. after a few years away, arya returns to the man who she’s always loved

She had been back in Winterfell barely two weeks, in a way, things fell into place, though it was in the most disjointed way possible.

Arya found her footing, day by day, acclimating to the changes she had missed, she had to anyway; this was her family, and no matter how much they had changed, how many things she had missed, they made her feel like home, and she was back home now, for good.

stubborn-hearted blue -- an arya x gendry oneshot where arya moves into the same building as a man she had a fwb arrangement during her college days

She was still adjusting to life in the new city.

Arya hadn’t been in the Riverlands since university, and at this point, it felt like a lifetime ago, a distant memory, more like a dream. But now she had been back for almost a month and boxes still littered her living room, still waiting to be unpacked. between her new job and just trying not to pass out as soon as she was back home, there wasn’t much room for unpacking.

okay WOW i cant believe that managed to date back to over a year. this is pretty much a whole year of my writing summarised in opening lines.

if it isnt obvious, about half of these have yet to be posted, but this was still fun to give a little teaser for those ones.

i’ll be tagging @yanak324, @evax3, @selkiedams, @livhatesolives, @lightninginabottle0613, @watersandwolves, @estrangedandwayward, @jeynepoole, @sneetchstar, @treaddelicately, @bobafettsslut, @nalgenewhore

also, hi! enjoy!

ps, i hope everyone is taking care of themselves and keeping safe x

#i havent been active much in a long time #this is the most active ive been in the last 6 months and that's because im back in lockdown #i think i now have a lot more time for this stuff now that life isnt as fast paced as it has been for the last year #tag games #my writing #rickon x lyanna #robb x theon #jon x satin #rickon x tommen #arya x gendry #gendrya #lyckon #throbb #jonsatin #asoiaf fanfiction

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tiredcowpoke · 3 years

Text

TITLE: Blank Spots [21] PAIRING: (Somewhat pre-established) Arthur Morgan/Fem!Reader, could be seen as an OC. REQUEST: Unprompted. BLURB: After waking up at the base of a steep incline and nearly freezing to death, you stumble upon a group of strangers who swear up and down that they know you. WARNINGS: Some creative license for amnesia. Violence, kidnapping, death. NOTE: Hey, it’s been a good minute since I posted another part to this. My summer hasn’t been off to the best start, but I found some motivation returning to continue this series so here we are. I hope you enjoy, I’m still trying to find my legs again so I apologize if things are a little rough. Anyway, thank you all for the patience! TAG LIST: @on-my-way-to-erebor / @otherthingstoreid @ireallyhonestlydontcare @elanisha @darlingsdevil @cirillamylove @bunnyreese12 @rollyjogerjones @callmemythicalminx @r4reland @itsnothingwithoutchaos

The only sound that filled your ears for the last couple hours was the noise of rope feverishly rubbing against the wooden leg of the bedpost you had been tied to.

You could feel the ache in your arms and the burn of the rope against your skin. You could feel the pain of the bruise forming along your ribs when you had been kicked around for fighting back--back when you believed you still had time to get Jack and get the hell out of this place. However, that was hours ago. A voice in the back of your head said it was too late now to try to save Jack, nightfall had darkened the room they had put you in for the time being and the sun going down had mercifully allowed things to cool off. However, you knew the window of opportunity to help that poor kid had closed.

“Shit--” you cursed, pausing in the rubbing of the ropes that bound your wrists to pull against them in some futile attempt to snap them again, your jaw aching with how you clenched your teeth. The rope had loosened some, it was probably your only sliver of hope in this situation. Yet, the exhaustion from both the current situation you found yourself in and trying to break them for hours now was getting hard to ignore.

With a sigh, you slumped and allowed yourself to bow your head in defeat. Momentary defeat. You had survived falling off that mountainside, you could survive this. At least, that’s what you kept repeating to yourself whenever you battled with the urge to quit.

However, the sound of footfalls heading toward the room would have had you stilling anyway. You let out a slow breath as you heard the door open, only glancing up a moment to see the stranger there before dropping your gaze to stare hard into the floorboards. Whatever he had to say, you didn’t want to listen.

“You gettin’ a little warm there, miss?” he asked, the tone suggesting that his words didn’t carry a single tone of compassion. “Ain’t got the best breeze back here.”

Don’t buy into it.

You heard him walk closer, his boots shifting into your view before you found yourself glancing up at him as he seemed to study you. After a few moments, he let out a short huff.

“Don’t much understand the reason to keep you ‘round--then again, didn’t see much reason to take the boy neither, but he’s with them Italian fellers now.”

That news had you dropping your gaze, pressing your lips into a thin line as you shook your head. It only just confirmed what you had been thinking, but it still pulled at that terrible sense of guilt in your gut. Should have done more for him, should have fought harder.

“Though, heard you got a nice little number on your head. Given those folk you ride with murdered all those Greys in town, figure we’re keepin’ you around to offer the new lawmen that step up to that. Don’t know yet.”

That information was dropped on you like he was talking about the weather, your gaze lifting back up despite yourself in some confusion. You figured you would have had a bounty from when you had been riding with the gang previously, but it was another memory that you didn’t really have or could recount exactly how much was on your head. Apparently it was enough for them to keep you alive, if only to collect on it later.

There wasn’t going to be a later, you were going to make sure of that.

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked after a few moments, catching his attention as he was about to turn to leave from the looks of things.

“Figured you might give me some reason in why we are keepin’ you here,” he said with a light shrug, cocky and nonchalant. Well, you guessed that was all you were going to give you, falling back into your lapse of silence.

Eventually, he turned and walked back toward the door, bored or moving on to more important matters. However, upon hearing the door shut once again, you renewed your attempts at fraying the ropes. God, you knew the pain once you were free was going to be rough, but you couldn’t sit by and wait for whatever resolution this was coming to.

You knew the gang wouldn’t sit by and let Jack get kidnapped, and you figured that them taking him meant that the Braithwaites were counting on them showing up eventually.

***

The first tug and snap you felt of a rope finally being cut was almost in time with the first sounds of gunfire. The feeling pulled a short somewhat breathless laugh from you. Night had fallen, leaving the room to be cast only in the dim light from one of the candles as you sat there with a small, relieved grin. Still, you knew your time was limited and you had to get yourself free before things only continued to escalate. While it took a couple more attempts to release the rest, the ones that came after were somewhat easier and eventually you were able to free your hands.

You could feel the ache in your limbs, hands, and fingers as you rubbed lightly at the angry red and bruising marks on your wrists. However, the commotion growing louder and closer had you lifting your head toward the door. You weren’t too sure just what was happening, but if there was a chance that the gang had shown up, you needed to get out to them. Debating on if you should sit for a while, wait to see if your ‘guard’ returned, you decided that was just wasting more time.

You gathered yourself to a stand somewhat unevenly, the ache in your limbs and the light swaying in your head from where you had been hit a couple hours ago made you pause for a few moments.

Being unarmed, you knew there wouldn’t be much of a chance for you to fight your way out. However, with the chaos, you figured it might give you enough cover.

Heart in your throat, you moved toward the door. Move down a couple hallways and this could be over, yet it didn’t seem like things were going to play out that way. In the time you had taken to get yourself out of the bindings, the man from before had been making it back toward the room. So, as you reached the door, it swung open to reveal him standing there. It had to have only been a moment, but the seconds that ticked by as your hope dropped down into the pit of panic that formed in your stomach felt like whole minutes.

Instantly, he reached down into his holster to remove his gun and you moved without thinking as you lunged at him. Given the hours of physical exhaustion that weighed on your limbs in your attempts to escape and him already riled up from the gunfight, it was a bit of a futile attempt. Yet, it was enough to keep you from getting a bullet to the gut or worse, slamming your body against his that knocked you back against a table.

He shoved you back hard, the motion giving you a moment to grab at his firing arm as you tried to make a grab for his weapon. He fired off a shot, the noise putting a dull ringing to your ears. Still, you kept your hold until he struck you in the side that sent you buckling at the knees somewhat, ripping his arm from your grasp that sent you tumbling to the floor.

You glanced up as he stepped quickly toward you, hearing the click of a bullet being loaded into the chamber as he aimed the weapon down at you. However, if he intended to kill you, he seemed to be a little slow to do so and you acted without thinking. You lashed out, kicking him hard in the knee, the sudden motion and attack sending him stumbling down almost on top of you. The clamouring for the weapon began again, this time you managing to rip the weapon from his hands. Your captor tried to pin you to the floor, pressing hard against the side of your head and tried to hold your arm down. However, you managed to shift the weapon up and fired off a shot.

You had felt the barrel come into contact with the side of his vest, the bullet ripping into his side as he let out a loud howl at the pain. In doing so, it gave you enough time to shift him back, ignoring the fresh blood that stained your torso as he seemed to push himself off you. Though, you almost didn’t register what happened next.

He had risen up somewhat on his knees, your gaze catching the murderous intent in his own, and then a bullet from behind seemed to rip through the top of his skull.

Scurrying back, you shoved him fully away as he fell forward, completely dead. Not really registering who had just shown up in the doorway, you raised the weapon up as they stepped toward you. Thankfully, you hadn’t quite had the mind to fire off a shot before the familiar voice seemed to break through the rushing in your ears.

“Easy! Easy, it’s John!”

You stared up at him for a moment, taking him in before the small bit of relief settled. With a small exhale, you lowered the weapon as you glanced toward the man you both had just killed.

“Is Jack with you?” he asked, the question causing him to look up at him.

“What?”

“Jack.”

“No--No, he’s...he’s not here,” you said, trying to gather yourself to a stand. You could feel the pain in your ribs from the struggle, but it certainly could have ended worse.

“...Damn it,” John cursed to himself before he reached out to help steady you somewhat, “C’mon, we need to get outta here.”

You nodded almost numbly, following him out toward the main part of the house. You could hear that woman yelling vaguely, the smell of fire and smoke hitting your nostrils. God, if John hadn’t found that room or if you hadn’t found a way out of there, they would have burned you down with the rest of the building unaware. Did all of this really happen in only a couple hours? It was clearly night once you were back outside, lights from the lanterns and the building that was slowly starting to burn to the ground. Still, in the commotion, your thoughts fluttered by without too much reaction from you.

That woman, the Braithwaite, was kneeled on the ground. You could only vaguely pick up on her saying something about Bronte, the name pulling hard at the guilt and fear in your gut you had over Jack. You could have done more, should have done more. Reasonably, you knew trying to escape with him when you had been tied up and had to work all day to get the ropes cut was impossible. Given the time frame, you had already been working against the clock even before you knew you were.

Still, it was a hard feeling to shake.

However, the sound of your name broke you from that train of thought as John led you toward where the gang’s horses were. Arthur stepped forward, placing a hand against your shoulder as he seemed to look you over somewhat.

“Couldn’t find you anywhere, thought they’d moved you along,” he said after a moment.

“Would’ve left without any the wiser if I hadn’t heard the gunshot,” John commented, sounding exhausted. Considering what was happening, you couldn’t blame him. “Got there just in time, I’d say.”

“They were keeping me and were going to hand me over to the sheriff as some sort of...I don’t know,” you replied, finally finding your voice, “John...thank you. I’m...I’m so sorry about Jack.”

John gave you a short nod, “C’mon, we need to get back to camp.”

“Yeah, you’ll ride with me,” Arthur said, placing a hand between your shoulder blades and he walked with you toward a familiar horse.

You were going back to camp, this whole ordeal was over yet in a way it certainly wasn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to glance behind you, wanting no more than anything to get the hell out of there. Arthur climbed into the saddle behind you somewhat, seeming to catch onto the exhaustion in your limbs as he wrapped an arm around your middle before starting the ride back to camp.

“They hurt you?” he asked after a few moments, “You’re covered in blood.”

“No, it’s--it’s not mine,” you replied, keeping your gaze on the path ahead of you as Arthur continued on at a steady pace.

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything further as you both continued on down the path. However, your mind lingered on the events of the past couple hours. God, you had no idea just how your day was going to turn, worrying about Arthur when you should have been doing so about yourself and Jack. You thought about killing that man back there, firing a shot into his side and John planting one in his skull in your hesitance to do more. There was a part of you that hated that--what’d happened to you? It never used to be like this, did it? Stilling at the thought of violence and defending yourself? Couldn’t even protect a damn kid?

“Hey,” you heard Arthur’s voice in your ear, suddenly feeling the warmth of his chest against your back, the tightness of his arms around you. The two of you weren’t moving anymore, stopped just off the path you were taking back to camp. You hadn’t been aware of the way you had started breathing, the stinging at your eyes and the shaking in your limbs.

“It’s okay,” he continued, “Ain’t gonna let somethin’ like that happen to you again.”

“It’s not that,” you replied after a moment, letting out a shaky breath, “I was there with Jack, I knew they had Bronte coming to take him and I did nothing. I could’ve done something and I didn’t.”

“That ain’t your fault,” Arthur muttered, not releasing his hold as much as a part of you didn’t feel like you deserved the comfort. Still, you couldn’t help the way you were leaning back against him, even if he was holding you there himself.

“I don’t know,” you muttered, blinking back some tears.

“We’re gonna get the boy back, he’ll be just fine,” Arthur said, “Nobody in that camp is just goin’ to let him be taken, made that clear tonight. Might’ve damn well lost you in that, too, if John hadn’t been listenin’.”

You weren’t too sure about that, you had gotten out by the time John had shown up. Though, you didn’t have the energy to argue that in the moment, knowing that they knew you were taken with Jack must have worried him too. With a small exhale, you brought a hand up to grip at his forearm comfortingly.

“I want to help get Jack back,” you said, “even if it’s in the smallest of ways.”

“We ain’t sure just how these fellers are,” Arthur replied after a moment, loosening his hold somewhat, “With everybody we just lost, I don’t know if…”

“Lost?” you asked, turning your head slightly as much as you couldn’t face him fully in the saddle. You saw him nod softly out of the corner of your eye, Arthur letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, Sean…” he muttered, “Them Greys set us up in town, he got shot and died before we could do anythin’.”

“...God,” you replied, shaking your head lightly as you felt your shoulders drop.

You and Sean weren’t close, the last time you had really spent any time with him was on that terrible robbery job and now...shit. You weren’t even sure how Karen was going to take this either, you knew she and him were an item. How did all of this happen on the same day? It was...you had no idea how to feel.

Awful. You felt awful.

“Yeah. So, maybe you can understand my hesitance to let ya run headlong into danger,” he replied, spurring his horse into a trot again as you shook your head lightly.

“I know, I understand. However...I need to do this. Please.”

“...I can’t say I’m gonna enjoy it, but I can’t hold you down if you’re gonna be doin’ this,” Arthur replied, “Least give me some peace of mind to make sure you ain’t doin’ anythin’ alone if you’re helpin’ get Jack back.”

“Fine,” you replied with a nod--that was more than fine. You weren’t going to pretend that you could get that kid back by yourself, but you wanted to try. Hell, you were still trying to process Sean on top of everything else, you knew you probably weren’t thinking too clearly.

Still, you reached down to where his arm was wrapped around you, wrapping your fingers around his own. A silent thanks, you knew given the situation he could have been a hell of a lot less negotiable.

You just wanted to help, if only to make up for the trauma that poor kid has likely gone through. Even somewhat.

#my writing.#arthur morgan x reader

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erenxneya · 3 years

Text

It’s You.

Pairing: Armin Arlert x reader.

Warnings: angst, mentions of a suicide attempt, not proofread

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: I wrote this late at night yesterday (on Wattpad) so I apologize for any mistakes.

You're egocentric.

You only care about yourself. Selfish, even.

You don’t care about anything or one.

…do you?

...

You stood in front of the vivid ocean, such a bright color at nightfall. The sand felt warm under your feet despite the cold weather that was usually around during the night. The sky was a bright blue, the water matching in color.

Your bow moved up and down against the strings connected to the violin, an elegant melody emitting from it. You felt at comfort while battling the ocean, fighting over who can make a more peaceful sound. You were reaching the end of the song you played, the boy behind you letting out a small sigh. He watched you the whole time— from when you first began to play and now the end.

"Armin," You whispered as you played. His eyes opened— the same eyelids that were droopy from the late hour. He stood from the sandy bottom. The boy was beautifully shaded from the night sky— he looked too good to be real. A painting, even.

"Hm?" He responded, staring straight into the back of your head with pure admiration. Even amid your playing, you separated the bow from the violin and looked back at him.

"Do you feel safe?" You asked, your body fully turning towards him. In his eyes, you looked like a clear photograph. He would capture this moment if he could— you looked so... calm. He loved that about you— no matter what the situation, you always were tranquil.

"Yes, of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" He took a step closer, the sand beneath him crunching in the process. As he got a better look at you, he saw how your eyes looked sad. Despite your relaxed voice, you looked worried. You always did.

"...I heard it’s bad luck when I’m around," You gave him a light chuckle at the end, your arm falling to your side. You looked up at the sky as you felt your knees begin to feel weak.

"I guess we just weren't meant to meet."

"Wh-Why?" He almost shrieked. His arms flew up to his chest in a panic— he thought you were going to abandon him like you always did.

He was scared— scared of the things you do. You're known to be hidden— like every piece of information about you is just out of reach. You're so mysterious, but he likes that about you. You keep to yourself, but he wished you didn't. You scare him every day— he's scared of the outcome of your absentminded efforts.

Especially times like this, when you just stopped caring. Caring about what you say to others, that is. The words you speak leave such an impact on him that he wished he could tell you about, but he can't. He knows how much it would break you, telling you that you're in the wrong. He cares so much about you that it destroys everything around him.

So hearing this makes him break. It's like he's attached to you— you're his only thing left. He can't lose you now, what else would he do? Why weren't you both meant to meet? He thinks of it as an amazing coincidence to have met such a wonderful person.

"...Our relationship hurts, Armin," You muttered, ashamed of the words coming out of your mouth. You both are only friends in a one-sided relationship. It hurts you to see how much he cares for you, a waste of space, in your eyes. It hurts to see how devoted he is to you, how you can't do anything in return because you're too damn insecure about yourself that you don't want to leave a bad impression just because of the things you might say.

He stayed silent as you paused. The wind blew against you both, making you shiver quite a bit. You weren't sure why you were out here with him. You could've been doing better things, but you just care about him too much not to.

"It really does," You finally continued. "I don't know why we're still here together when we should be apart."

"S-So what are you trying to say?" He asked in worry— worry about the same abandonment he's feared ever since your relationship began. Maybe he's just too reliant on you. He loves you so much but you don't have a clue. It's becoming a toxic relationship— you're pushing him away only for him to come closer.

"I'm saying that we should stop being friends." You finished, your knees finally giving out. He was already an arm's length away from you, so he grabbed you to stop your fall, making your violin the only thing that hits the ground. You couldn't make eye contact with him. You couldn't see the sad blue eyes that were filled with complete sorrow that could make you tear up once you saw them. He had that sort of impact on you— the one only toxic relationships may have.

"What...? We... We are meant to be together!" He cried out, his voice slowly beginning to break as he whimpered. "You promised..."

"..." You were at a loss of words. What could you say that wouldn't hurt him even more than he already was? He held you so tightly yet so carefully like you were a fine porcelain doll— so fragile and soft, so hurting him like this would feel like he can break you in a million pieces.

"Go on, what are you so afraid of?" He suddenly yelled, his voice filled with such great distress. You could tell he was enraged— not with anger, but with sadness. You were his only friend since childhood, so talking to him about this was sure to make him feel some sort of sorrow.

"Just say what you think already, dammit...!"

"..." You still avoided eye contact with the blonde boy above you. It would break you too much to see the tears slowly falling from his canal. You even felt a small, cold droplet on your cheek, something that would've made you sob if you weren't so emotionally strong at the moment.

"...I don't want to hurt you," You finally responded in a hushed voice. You could hear the small sniffles emitting from his nose, the arm holding you up on your waist coming up to his eyes. He was gently holding your head in his palm as if you were a newborn baby, so fragile and precious to him.

"What, you don't think you already have?" He then bent down to the sand, your body following suit. He let you go, making you sit and look up at him. He was wiping his tears away with the bottom of his palms before he looked directly into your eyes with a small smile.

"It's alright. I'll do anything for you either way."

...

It's been another dreadful night since then. You've cut off almost all contact with him, the only exception being your phone's built-in messaging app. He only texted you one thing last night when you got home;

"I love you."

You don't know where the sudden rush of guilt and disgust came from, and you weren't happy about it. You were guilty of how much of an impact the simple phrase you said left on him, and disgusted how easy it would be for him to do anything for him. He was almost infatuated with you that it was disgusting.

You lie in bed— the same bed Armin would occasionally sleep with you in. The same bed you both would talk at night about your problems, about your emotions, and about your daily life. He never cared too much about himself to actually speak about it, but he was such a great listener and responder. He knew just the right words to say and when to say it— something you barely knew how to do. You were verbally impulsive and you knew it. He's told you himself, but you lashed out on him afterward. No matter how pissed-off you get at him— how much you verbally abuse him, he still comes racing back to you. But why?

You let a single sob mixed with a scoff come out from your mouth just thinking about him. You missed him, of course you did. You meant the things you said, though. It would be better for your mental health if he was truly gone from your life.

You rolled over on your side, your mind clouded with memories of the boy. It felt like a breakup and you hated it. But you hated how when he said I love you, you couldn't even respond. You're too careless about him. But you also want someone else— you know it would completely break his heart if he knew. You know he would never forgive you if he saw you smiling with someone else, something he never was able to make you do.

Maybe he scares you, too. You were scared of how generous he was. You hate him for it. You hate him. You hate him You hate him You hate him You hate him You hate him. You hate him so much but you're too needy for him. No, you're too needy for the comfort he's able to supply. The comfort you can't find unless he's near. You hate him so much that it eats up your insides. You hate him so much that it's probably the cause of your toxicity. You hate him for all of the positive things he does to you— that he does for you, that you could never bring yourself to give back because you're so damn selfish.

"That's probably why you're depressed," Armin said after hearing what's on your mind. "You think too toxic. It's hurting you and you know it. You're just too afraid to do something about it, right?"

He sat on your bed with his finger on his chin. You listened intently about what he had to say which was something you rarely did. He was making sense— you were quite the toxic one, and that's probably why you've been depressed for the past 3 years.

"It's probably the cause of your suicide attempt, too. You can't think straight, and that's what being toxic is doing to you. It's like a facade that's hiding the real you."

"We don't need to talk about that..." You muttered, but he shook his head.

"No, we do. F/n, you can't keep brushing things like this to the side. That's why you're still depressed after 3 whole years. I care about you so much, you know? I'd hate if keeping everything to yourself led to your end."

That's right. He cares for you so much that you're now filled with pure disgust. Why does he love you so much? However, your body is doing otherwise.

You grabbed your phone from your nightstand— the Notification Center still empty as usual. You weren't thinking straight— you opened Armin's messages and began typing. Why? You hate him. You shouldn't be wasting your time talking to him. But you do. You care for him. But you hate him.

You sighed, letting out a breath you seemed to be holding in before closing your phone once again and shutting your eyes. You feel at ease, like a heavy weight was just lifted off of your shoulders.

"I love you too."

#armin oneshot #armin x reader #armin arlert #Armin aot #armin fanfiction #armin angst #uhhh #anime angst #angsty #angsty fanfic #ummmm #idk what else to put so yeah

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sepublic · 3 years

Note

Ok no one else is saying it so I will: the fact that Lilith in Wing it Like Witches basically had a mental breakdown over losing the grugeby match and having to go back to the Emperor empty-handed really makes me wonder what kinda fucked up stuff Belos might do to Lilith. I mean it's already implied that he's abusive to her so I wouldn't be surprised if she was getting severe undeserved punishments for not bringing Eda back.

Honestly, I suspect Lilith is just highly sensitive to failure in general… I wouldn’t be surprised if she was harshly punished for every mistake she made as a child, given the comparisons of the Coven System to the American school system- And if Lilith is neurodivergent just as Luz, Eda, and Amity are coded to be, then it’d hit even harder for her. So even if there isn’t an actual punishment waiting for her, necessarily; Lilith still freaks out and braces for the worst and just feels utterly terrible, because she’s been conditioned to do so.

Especially since Lilith likely has a lot of self-esteem issues about never being good as Eda, always being the lesser sister… As Lilith herself said, Eda may have been star player- But I think Lilith took a lot of solace in being team captain, and believing this role certified her as being at least on Eda’s level when it came to sports, if not above it. So having a definitive match between the two prove once and for all that, yes, Eda IS better at Lilith at Grudgby, just as she’s better at everything else… This realization could’ve really broken Lilith in a lot of ways.

Not to mention, failing the Grudgby game also means failing to bring back Eda- And Lilith has both selfish and altruistic reasons to do so. Lilith wants Eda by her side, and she wants her sister cured; Once again, the chance for this has beaten her. Lilith also wants to protect Eda from Belos, who has begun to crack down on wild witches more as the Day of Unity approaches… So she knows that Eda’s time is running out, in addition to knowing the curse is worsening. To Lilith, she’s not just failing herself on multiple levels- She’s failing her sister once again, and she’s running out of time and chances to make up for her past sins.

It’d also reflect badly on Lilith to the rest of the Emperor’s Coven, as well as Belos and Kikimora… Lilith clearly dislikes Kiki and wants to prove her otherwise- And Lilith still admires Belos and looks up to him a lot. I can see Lilith being grateful to Belos for giving her a chance to prove herself by letting her into his coven, for even bestowing upon her the title of Head Witch (because deep down Lilith feels like she never truly earns anything and it’s given to her only by the grace of others, she only got into the EC because Eda forfeited for her)… And Belos constantly giving Lilith these chances, and being willing to cure Eda and let her into his coven, surely it means he somewhat trusts her- And that again, Belos is doing so much for her.

Lilith would hate to disappoint someone she looks up to, someone who’s clearly setting aside a lot of patience just to put up with her, and she wants to pay them back because she feels undeserving… She’d be failing Belos and his plans, which clearly intend the greater good for the Boiling Isles- So in a way, Lilith is failing the Isles as well… And I wouldn’t be surprised if Lilith realized at some point that her own apprentice was also disappointed in her for the Covention incident. So to Lilith, she’s been a recently increasing stream of disappointment to those who trust her, look up to her, and in some ways hurting those she cares about or feels obligated for.

I imagine Lilith feels like she causes a lot of harm in general, so she seeks to offset this by being a helpful and productive member of society, and probably justifies her participation in Belos’ corruption by believing it’s all for the greater good, which then just contributes to Lilith justifying hurting Eda ‘for her own good’. Lilith wants to think she’s worthwhile, that her continued existence and people’s patience with her is justifiable and will pay off, because clearly she’s put a lot of stock and work into things under the hopes that it’ll all be worth it in the end. Kind of like how Lilith believes it’s okay to curse Eda, because it’ll be worth it when she gets into the Emperor’s Coven- That it’s worth buying into its ideology and being separated from Eda, because one day Eda will join her in their former dream, and be cured!

And as she’s no doubt desperate for approval, Lilith is afraid of not only losing it, but having this replaced with scorn. Lilith doesn’t want to fail someone she admires, someone she thinks actually values her when beforehand she’s never felt approved of; And as Head of the Emperor’s Coven, she is no doubt intimately aware of a LOT of horrible things that happen to wild witches. To people who displease Belos in general… And so while she has so much reason to admire the Emperor, she’s also got plenty cause to fear him as well. Fear of having her position by his side revoked (especially since we see Owl Mask already taking up one themselves), fear of losing support of the one person who tolerated her… Fear of what he could do to Lilith, etc.

Lilith already has every reason to be extremely sensitive of failure and rejection, in addition to her low self-esteem, and other tangible consequences… So what you suggested, about Belos actively punishing Lilith (hopefully it only began after Sense and Insensitivity, as that episode had Lilith act like it’s okay for her to take her time capturing Eda, under the excuse of her sister eventually becoming debilitated by her worsening curse), it is… Honestly pretty terrifying, and not at all out of character for Belos. Especially given how he’s the Emperor, so he’s free to do whatever he chooses to his own underlings, without repercussion- So I could see him being actively worse than Odalia and Alador are to their own kids, which would be saying something!

Given the cult-y vibes of the Emperor’s Coven, I can see Belos further indoctrinating his minions into thinking it’s totally okay for him to harm them as punishment for failure, and even that this is a good and deserved thing- Again, tying back to those parallels of the American school system, which has echoes of the belief that ‘suffering is purifying’. It doesn’t even have to be the entire Emperor’s Coven that is convinced and wrapped up into this sort of abuse- Lilith is already of such low self-esteem that I think she’d believe she deserves it… Maybe even finds a twisted relief in her punishment as cathartic self-harm. Belos gives off ‘Christian Colonizer’ vibes as-is, and there are records of such puritans advocating for this kind of pain as being ‘good’ for a person, so to Lilith it’s her actively atoning and making up for her mistakes, in addition to actually succeeding next time.

And if so, then that is a horrifically abusive relationship, especially since entire generations of witches are already indoctrinated into trusting Belos for having what’s best for them in mind- I mean, the show’s ending credits have a pair of toddlers making a sand castle of Belos’ palace, that’s how deep this propaganda goes! It’d take a lot to unlearn that, especially from someone as entrenched into the Emperor’s Coven as Lilith… And if Eda and Luz were to learn about this, if what you suggested is true- Then in addition to the whole ‘threatening to execute Lilith by nightfall’ bit, and Lilith genuinely thinking she was helping Eda and curing her curse, thus saving her sister from a fate worse than death; I could see them becoming a LOT more sympathetic and forgiving to Lilith, because they just don’t have it in their hearts to be mad at someone who has clearly suffered and been traumatized and manipulated…

I could see Luz maybe even drawing parallels to Amity and her parents, while Eda is just horrified that this is what her sister went through- And maybe she thinks that she should’ve been more there for Lilith, should’ve worked to rescue her older sister if she knew what was going on, even if that meant kidnapping Lilith. And of course, Lilith has reached that point of self-defeat where she insists to Eda that her little sister owes her nothing, and she is right in a sense… But also, Lilith thinks that while Eda owes Lilith nothing, Lilith herself is owed so much pain and punishment, when it’s clear that this sort of thing will only make things worse for someone who’s used to it- So obviously Luz and Eda aren’t going to invest in more suffering for Lilith, because obviously it didn’t teach her to be a kinder and happier person.

So while Lilith is obviously testing their patience in a LOT of ways… Luz and Eda’s natural compassion, in addition to appreciation of Lilith doing the right thing in the end, and having the bravery to defy Belos- I think that’ll help them forgive Lilith, or at least be on better terms with her. Hopefully she can be accepted fully into their family… And that’s assuming Lilith won’t try to bail out of guilt and wanting to protect Eda, to not be a burden, and to just want the comforting isolation away from the constant reminder of her failures in life and as a sister, because at the Owl House, Lilith will constantly be reminded of how Eda was so much better off and happier than her, and that’ll just add to her insecurity at being outdone. Lilith will be reminded of the curse she cast on Eda, and also what she missed out on for so long, and it’ll tear her apart…

And, I can see Lilith actually reveling in her half of the curse as self-punishment for what she’s done, and Eda… While Eda has cautiously accepted this because it IS Lilith making up for the damage she legitimately caused and worsened- She also doesn’t want Lilith to default to martyrdom and self-punishment because she knows that kind of mindset in reaction to failure is abusive and a product of the Coven System. Oof, I’m just suddenly imagining Lilith finding ways to punish herself while at the Owl House, maybe leaving so she can do so uninterrupted, because she’s still enacting the abuse when there’s nobody around to perform it- And the others have to really look out for Lilith and stop her… It’d be incredibly exhausting and tiresome, and just make Lilith feel like even more of a burden.

But in the end, Lilith realized that wallowing in self-pity and punishment for years didn’t help Eda or herself, it just made things worse- It was making just that one decision to change and improve things for the better, that got Lilith the immediate results of a more-repaired relationship with her sister. Sooner or later, Lilith has to pick herself up; All this self-loathing is no doubt exhausting, and she wants something new… Lilith still wants to be with Eda and now she has the chance. If she put in the work serving the Emperor’s Coven under the hopes it’d pay off, maybe she can put in the work of self-improvement under this same principle; Or not, investing in the Emperor’s Coven clearly failed, so why bother?

Well, I imagine Eda’s happiness, time with her, and the fact that Lilith is no longer burning with her worst secret, is a good reason to invest… Because Lilith’s seen actual results for once, so she knows it’ll pay off in the end and she wants more of that happiness and goodness in life. But Titan, it’d probably be terrifying, having to imagine Lilith caught in the attempt of self-harm because she hates herself, she’s trying to secretly get away with it, and Luz/Eda/King are so scared and shocked because of it… And Lilith just insists in a mental breakdown that this is what she deserves, and why can’t they leave her to this because don’t they secretly hate her anyway!? But the others don’t really, that’s why she’s even here- They’re here to be fully transparent with Lilith and not lie and lead her on like Belos did in his abusive, manipulative way.

I’m just imagining the others getting Lilith into a routine of self-care, making her invest into a schedule and productive stuff that keeps her distracted, maybe a hobby or two that makes Lilith feel constructive- Getting her to wean off her self-destructive habits, while Lilith is also obligated to make a promise each day that she won’t relapse and get into some funny business… And then the others can feel safer leaving her alone for longer periods of time, while also validating and rewarding Lilith for her efforts, further incentivizing her to do well… While not punishing her for any failure, further teaching Lilith to not default to that in the first place. Of course Eda would do everything in her power to keep Luz and King free from this responsibility and concerns, but I can see Luz insisting on providing some kind of helping hand- Or at least contributing towards the happier, fluffier moments that are less messy and agonizing for everyone involved.

And wanting to live up to this trust that a kid has in her, to see someone trust in her again after she messed up with Amity- It’ll give Lilith a lot of belief in herself that maybe she CAN do right… And she’s now even got the chance to make amends with Amity, too! Maybe things are getting better… And maybe things ARE improving, because she IS a good person, and the others were right to believe in her- Lilith wouldn’t want to prove them wrong, after all! And if it really brightens her sister’s day to see Lilith become happy again, then… That makes Lilith happy, and finally she’s doing things right, without having to worry about when she messes up.

For once, Lilith can take genuine, true pride in confidence in who she is, and what she does- And finally she’ll invest in the dignity and self-respect to know that she deserves better. Then Lilith can not only spare herself from pain- She can protect her loved ones from it for real this time, instead of always hurting them. For so long Lilith has hurt others trying to do what’s best for them; Now she can do what’s best for them without doing so, because Lilith knows that what’s best for others isn’t pain, but happiness and healing. She can do the right thing, and make up for what may have been Lilith’s original failure that started it all; Not being the protective older sister that Eda needed her to be.

Lilith doesn’t need to fear failure, and she can expect so much from success this time, especially now that it’s within reach; And Lilith knows that she can always change and improve herself to reach it, assuming she isn’t already capable! Eda does believe in the capacity to choose your own destiny and who you want to be, regardless of how you start out or what others dictate. Even if Lilith WAS a terrible person… She has the power to change this, and she’ll certainly make use of this opportunity. Lilith need not resign herself to what she saw as fate, as the inevitability of her decline into despair, or her place in the Emperor’s Coven as ordained by Belos’ hierarchy… Lilith can become who she always wanted to be- A wild witch and a good sister, someone who is happy, fulfilled, and free!

#the owl house #toh #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #toh lilith #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house belos #emperor belos #emperor's coven #self harm tw #abuse tw #speculation #ask

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chrys-is-back · 2 years

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Act I: The Journey Begins (Pt.5)

Nightfall, moon high in the sky, estimated time:10 at night

Things were tense once the group finally met up for the journey. Despite the stranger Estellise’s optimism and cheeriness about the adventure ahead of the group, Chrys was silent from feelings of guilt getting both Keithan and Quincy involved, mostly feeling as if she had done so against their wills, but at the same time this was the closest thing she’s gotten to a lead on the potential whereabouts of her parents’ possible location so how was she not expected to jump on this opportunity with or without them? That’s how she would rationalize her actions, if she weren’t expected to go on this trip, Quincy should not have told her about the Khaballah’s crescent to begin with. Though try to ignore it as she might, in the end Chrys knew her guilt was warranted for her harsh actions taken when she knew her two escorts with her only wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself near killed or hurt again. Best to just push past it though, it was already too late anyways as they had made their way well beyond the borders of their kingdom’s territory.

Silence all around, no one knew what to say. Mostly it seemed that everyone was just sorta watching Estellise closely as they followed behind her as if expecting her to suddenly turn and attack them which even the Gothitelle seemed to have caught onto as she turned her head to look back while walking onward, calling back to her travel companions in a sweet tone, “Relax you three, if I was going to bite, I’d have done it paces ago, we’re almost at the water bank. You’ll be pleased to know that I actually managed to secure from a local in the kingdom a boat for us to use!”

Such a disarming tone, even Quincy couldn’t help but think that she may have just been a genuine aid all along, but that didn’t change the pit he felt in his stomach knowing the trip they were going on. He had to talk to Chrys, but every time he saw that hopeful look of hers he couldn’t bring himself to tell her what he knew. He pondered if maybe this would be a better idea for her to go on this trip. Why hear it second hand? Maybe there was some form of closure to be gained from letting her find out the truth on her own in person with friends there to console her...but then he started to imagine how much she would hate and resent him and it made him feel awful, it was truly a loss situation as if he told her the truth, she’d hate him for hiding it. but if he selfishly let her find out on her own and held back that he knew all along, she’d still hate him in the end. The lurantis was lost in his thought for so long that he never even noticed that Chrys started walking alongside him and was trying to get his attention.

“Quincy?... Quiiincy!” A voice trailed in the background of his mind as he paced on till finally a loud, “QUINCY!” snapped him out of it. Standing there ahead of him was Chrys who looked concerned but quickly went back to smiling once she confirmed that he acknowledged her. Looking around he could see that Estellise and Keithan had also paused for a moment. “Are you okay?” Keithan would ask, Quincy quick to nod then shake his head and let out a small chuckle. “Yes I’m fine, sorry about that, I was just thinking about something...did you need something Chrys? Why don’t we uh...continue to walk and talk?” Estellise would nod, then onward again they walked, but Chrys’ pace slowed to that of Quincy’s “Hey, uhm...I just wanted to say, sorry about my snapping earlier...” the Lilleena would speak sheepishly while tapping her finger tips together. Seems her guilt would have gotten the better of her warranting this confrontation. “It means a lot to me that you’re willing to come regardless though, this whole thing means a lot to me and I hope you can understand why I’m so eager to go. I’m sure my moms will be happy to see both you and me and then we can go back and drag Sylph and they’ll be happy to see her too!”

Now it was Quincy’s turn to feel guilty...he couldn’t bear with it any longer, the idea that they’d spend so much time going to this place where Chrys would think her parents are only to find out that they’ve been long gone on top of knowing he knew the whole time tore him into two within minutes of the thought popping thus he was quick to try and speak now, “Chrys, I--” he started, “Look, I need to tell y-” “HERE~!” Estellise’s voice interjected at the last minute. Right at a water bank the crew came to a stop, Chrys eagerly running up beside Estellise as they approached a medium sized boat. Looked hand made, sail and all, but the craftsmanship was no less than professional looking. “What connection did you go through to get this again??” Keithan asked as he ran a finger on the sanded wood, surprised to see there was no splinters nor even did he feel a roughness that normally comes from hand sanded wood done without expertise.

“Does is matter~?” Estellise chimed in response, stepping aboard as she began to prep the sail. Chrys, Keithan and Quincy quick to follow aboard, but Quincy a little hesitant, just biting his lower lip as he had missed his chance to tell Chrys the truth and again choked up to do so once more. It seems they were locked in now...no turning back Chrys found a seat toward the front of the boat Keithan aiding Estellise who seemed to be too weak to actually untie the large knot on the sail’s rope and control it at the same time where she complimented Keithan on his ability to do so with ease. Quincy sighed, taking his seat near the back where he waited till eventually after getting a hard enough breeze of wind, the boat gradually accelerated forward and just like that, off the crew was! Some eager for the journey ahead--...and some not so much...

#plot post #chrys the lilleena #Keithan the Abnaught #Estellise the Gothekiss #Quincy the Lurantis #Act I

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nevernotwriting · 3 years

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You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 13: Breakout

Read me on AO3!

Previous chapter

It was nightfall. You were sat in your car in the same spot as earlier in the day with your stomach in knots.

This was the moment of truth.

You took a deep breath and stepped out into the cool night air, making your way to the side of the building. The sight of the iron gate brought fresh memories flooding back to you. You could almost see yourself curled up at the base of the tree nearby again, debilitating over what to do. All you could do now was hope that Yancy would be here soon.

The sound of a car stopping nearby pulled you out of your thoughts. You frowned in confusion as Vakarian and Mark climbed out, wandering over to you.

Mark scratched the back of his head and averted his eyes, offering a small smile. You folded your arms.

“What’s with the backup?” You asked as Vakarian slung a sniper rifle over one shoulder and unzipped his duffel bag. He glanced up at you and Mark, then quickly took great interest in the bag’s contents.

“I figured it might be a good idea, in case things get ugly,” Mark responded.

You nodded. “Fair enough, but it won’t. Yancy knows the place inside out, he’ll be able to slip out unseen.”

Mark frowned, contemplating his words. “Zero… how long has he been in here, exactly?”

You shrugged. “A while, I guess. He got locked up for murder-”

Mark’s eyes widened.

“But he didn’t do it!” You exclaimed. “He’s done some bad shit, but so have we. But he’s no murderer.”

Mark deflated a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. “All right. Let’s just get this over with before I have a heart attack.”

Vakarian strode towards the two of you, popping gum and acting as nonchalant as ever. He locked eyes with you and smiled, offering his hand to shake. You took it with a friendly nod, trying not to stare at the bright pink gum protruding from between his teeth.

“Good to see you in one piece, Zero.”

“Thanks, Vakarian. Mark give you the lowdown?”

He nodded. “I’m gonna get a better vantage point in that tree. Care to join me?”

You looked at Mark, feeling a pang of guilt seep into your chest. Despite still being mad at him, you didn’t want to leave him alone when he’d agreed to help you.

Mark smiled at you, more genuine than before. “Go ahead, I’ll keep an eye out on the ground level. Might wait in the car though, it’s a little chilly tonight.”

Vakarian chuckled and tossed a small two-way radio to Mark from his duffel bag. “Take this. We’ll tell you if we see anything.”

Mark nodded, his eyes darting to you one more time before he climbed back into his car. You sighed and followed Vakarian. He swung himself into the tree with little effort and held a hand out to you.

“Come on up, short stack.”

“Just cause you’re six foot seven,” you scoffed as you hoisted yourself up and got comfy.

“Exactly. When you’re as tall as me, everyone’s a short stack,” he chuckled.

You shook your head, getting yourself comfy as Vakarian positioned the radio between the two of you. He rooted through his bag and handed you a pair of binoculars. Though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of HQ, you were grateful for his company now as you peered over the edge of the prison walls, nerves seeping into your veins. The radio buzzed.

“You guys in position?” Came Mark’s fuzzy voice.

Vakarian picked up the device. “Yep. No sign of jailbird just yet.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Jailbird?”

He shrugged as he placed the radio back down. “Mark’s idea.”

With a snort, you passed him the binoculars and decided to change the subject.

“So… how’ve things been?”

Vakarian popped his gum again as he contemplated the question. “Pretty tense. Shark’s been on a rampage ever since you got locked up, bludgeoning everyone in her path. Mark’s return barely pacified her cause he came back empty handed. Jasmine took a couple days off just to get out of her way.”

He lowered the binoculars again and looked at you. “Everyone’s been really worried about you, though. Especially Mark. He said you got shot?”

Guilt ran through you again, but you pushed it down. “Yeah, but it’s fine. Still healing, but I’m fine.”

“Good.”

Vakarian returned to looking through the binoculars. You rubbed your hands together as the wind whipped between the tree branches, the sound of bristling leaves filling the air. Anxious, you peered over his shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of anything, or anyone.

“You see anything yet?”

“Not yet. But no guards, either.”

You inhaled a shaky breath and peddled your legs back and forth, trying to distract your mind from the worst-case scenario. Vakarian placed the binoculars down and snapped his head towards you suddenly. Even underneath his curls, you could tell his eyebrows were knitted together.

“So,” he began, chewing his gum fiercely. “What’s the deal with this guy, anyway? He like a relative or something?”

Your face grew warm. “I thought you said Mark gave you the lowdown.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t elaborate much on this guy we’re breaking out. He said his name’s Yancy or something? And that was about it.”

“Yeah, Yancy,” you replied. The image of him on the other side of the gate flashed through your mind as you said his name, a metallic taste entering your mouth. “He’s… I care about him. And he doesn’t deserve to be in there.”

Vakarian let out a deep, rumbling laugh, the gum nearly falling out of his mouth. He shook his head at you. “Riiight, I see.”

“What?”

“Nothin’, just connectin’ some dots.” He blew a gigantic pink bubble, letting it pop around his mouth.

“Can you please take this seriously?” You grumbled. “Do you have to chew gum right now?”

“Helps me concentrate if I have to shoot,” he replied with a carefree smile.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. If you weren’t so on edge, you’d have laughed.

The radio buzzed again with Mark’s voice. “It’s been ten minutes, guys.”

Your stomach dropped and you bit your lip. Sensing your nerves, Vakarian checked through the binoculars again.

“Zero, how long did it take you to get out when you escaped?” Mark asked.

You picked up the radio. “Uh… shit, I don’t know,” you sighed. There were too many clouds in your mind to remember, and your escape had been shrouded in darkness – it could have been anywhere from five to fifty minutes, for all you knew.

“Don’t worry. We’ll stick around a bit longer, yeah?” Vakarian reassured you, offering the binoculars. You snatched them up with an anxious noise of agreement as he took the radio.

“You get that, Mark?”

“Loud and clear.”

Time passed by, and the night was only getting colder. Vakarian tried to keep you distracted with small talk, but you still bit your lip to the point of bleeding. A sudden crackle from the radio startled you, making you almost fall out of the tree.

“Guys… it’s been nearly thirty minutes.”

Vakarian ceased his incessant chewing and shot you a concerned look. Before he could give any kind of reassurance, you shuffled to the edge of the branch and leapt out of the tree, hitting the ground with a thud. You cast one final glance at the gate, your eyes filling with tears, then turned to trudge back to your car.

Mark leapt out of his car when he saw you approaching.

“Zero, I-”

“Yeah, you told me so. Save it, Mark,” you snapped, folding your arms and staring at the ground.

Mark shuffled on the spot, fiddling with the radio in one hand. “I… I was just gonna say I’m sor-”

The radio crackled.

“Guys?”

Your head snapped up, and you quickly wiped your tears as Mark spoke into the radio.

“What is it?”

“There’s someone at the gate.”

You didn’t need to hear those words twice. Your feet sprinted to the gate faster than your brain could comprehend. A familiar figure in a white shirt and striped trousers was unlocking the gate.

Yancy closed the gate after him, the sound of clanging metal echoing. He stared through the bars, gently letting go of them and dusting off his hands. When you were a few feet away, you came to an abrupt halt.

“Yancy!”

He whipped round, his eyes suddenly focused. He smoothed a hand over the tattoo on his arm. A soft smile appeared.

“Hey.”

You laughed apprehensively and took a step closer, a whole new set of nerves entering your body. Your eyes flicked to the ground.

“I didn’t think you were gonna show.”

Yancy exhaled. “Yeah, I… sorry for the wait. Couldn’t leave the gang without a leader, ya know?”

You nodded and chewed your lip, mentally kicking yourself for getting so worked up. Before you could say anything more, Yancy spoke again.

“Don’t worry, Zero. I wasn’t gonna leave yous.”

His words rippled through you like a lightning bolt. Before you could stop yourself, you ran to him and wrapped your hands around his shoulders. He staggered but held you just as tightly in return, chuckling in your ear.

A loud thud sounded as Vakarian exited the tree, and the two of you pulled apart.

“You brought backup?” Yancy asked.

“Yeah. This is Vakarian.”

Vakarian stopped. “You’re Yancy?”

“The one and only,” Yancy replied, holding his hand out. Vakarian took it with a curious grin. You turned to see Mark approaching with his hands in his pockets, and silence fell over the four of you.

“And… this is Mark.”

Yancy’s gaze steeled in an instant as he looked Mark up and down. Mark offered a brief smile that quickly disappeared as Yancy folded his arms. You held your breath.

Thankfully, Vakarian broke the tension.

“Huh. You two look kinda similar.”

Mark and Yancy stared at him, both equally bewildered.

“Do we?” Mark finally spoke.

“I always thought so,” you offered.

Yancy frowned with a low grunt. “I don’t see it.”

More silence.

“Oookay, well…” Vakarian cleared his throat. “Looks like our job’s done. Zero, I assume you can take it from here?”

You nodded. “Y-yeah, thanks guys. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Mark’s eyes lit up for the first time. “You’re coming back?”

“I think so,” you replied. “Anyway. Yancy, d’you need somewhere to stay?”

Yancy blinked out of the death glare he was still directing at Mark, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks as he looked at you. He scratched the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“I uh… yeah. Didn’t really think ahead of the prison walls, to be honest.”

Mark snorted, but averted his gaze when you glared at him. You turned back to Yancy.

“That’s fine, you can stay with me if you like.”

Yancy smiled. “Yous sure?”

“Yeah, come on!”

With a spring in your step, you walked towards your car, Yancy following behind. You shouted goodnight to Mark and Vakarian, but their car doors slammed shut just as you turned around.

Yancy was visibly more relaxed now it was just the two of you, seeming content to quietly watch the world go by until you arrived at your apartment.

“Well, here we are.” You unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Yancy’s eyes darted everywhere, and you wrung your hands together.

“It’s not much, but it’s home.”

Yancy turned to you and smiled. “Believe me, it’s the nicest place I’ve seen in ten years.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Ten years?”

“Yeah, did I never tell yous? Well… would’ve been longer… if it weren’t for yous.” He smiled, and heat rose to your face.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

You led him to your spare room. He inspected all of your various decorations and picture frames, taking a particular shine to a small photo of you on your graduation day with your parents smiling proudly on either side of you.

“This is nice,” he said with a smile that quickly faded. “I was in theatre school, before… well…”

“Maybe you’ll get to go back.”

Yancy glanced up at you and placed the picture back down. “Maybe.”

“Anyway, there’s some spare clothes on the bed over there. They’re Mark’s, but they should fit you. Bathroom’s across the hall if you want to use it.”

Yancy walked over to the bed and picked up the clothes, inspecting them with a raised eyebrow.

“Are yous sure he ain’t your boyfriend?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “Yes, I just had to borrow them after I got out.”

“I was just teasin’ yous,” Yancy snickered with a wink.

“Right,” you laughed, leaving him to it.

Ten minutes later you were back in the kitchen, throwing together some semblance of food for the two of you. Broadway songs echoed from down the hall where Yancy was singing away to himself in the shower. You paused for a moment, relishing in the feeling of a plan finally going off without a hitch. A twinge of guilt still hit you when you thought about Mark, but your heart soared knowing that Yancy was finally out, getting another shot at life.

Yancy walked into the kitchen just as you were serving up two bowls of pasta. He was wearing the clothes you’d borrowed from Mark, running his hands through his damp hair. You stopped in your tracks and blinked.

“What?”

You shook your head. “Nothing. Here, you hungry?”

You slid a bowl of pasta across the counter top in his direction. He stared down at it as if it were a foreign object.

“Yous made that for me?”

His question caught you off guard. “Well, technically for both of us, cause I haven’t eaten much today. But… yeah.”

His voice was quiet when he spoke again. “You know I said yous sure are one of a kind?”

Your stomach flipped, but you brushed it off. “It’s just pasta, Yancy.”

“I stand by what I said.” He stepped closer to you.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he wrapped his arms around your waist, settling his head on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, one of your hands touching the edge of his hair. Either Yancy was incredibly warm, or your skin was on fire.

He withdrew and held you in his arms, your breath still caught in your throat. The clock on the wall ticked on in the everlasting silence as his eyes flicked briefly to your lips, your hand shifting to his shoulder as he tightened his grip on your waist-

Your phone buzzed on the counter top, cutting through the silence. Yancy’s hands dropped from your waist with an awkward clear of his throat. You grabbed your phone, unlocking it with a long exhale.

“Sorry. It’s Mark, he’s asking about work stuff.” You sighed, running a hand down your face. “I gotta go in tomorrow and face the music.”

Yancy hummed in understanding, his face pursed in thought.

“Yous want me to go with you? I can ruff ‘em up if yous need me to,” he chuckled, cracking his knuckles.

“I don’t think beating up my boss is gonna help me keep my job, Yancy,” you laughed. “Though it would be satisfying.”

Another pause, until Yancy’s face lit up with a new idea.

“D’yous think… yous got room on your team for one more criminal?”

You blinked. “I mean… probably, but you only just got out of prison. Are you sure you wanna go straight back to a life of crime?” You cringed at your own words. “Sorry, forget I said that. I’m the last person who should be saying that.”

Yancy laughed. “No harm done. So what d’ya say? I convince your boss lady – Shark, yous said she was called?”

You nodded, flattered he had remembered such a small detail from one of your previous conversations.

“I convince Shark that I can be part o’ the team, but only if she lets you off the hook. Then yous and I can be partners in crime.”

The boldness of his suggestion made your head spin, but you couldn’t deny it sounded pretty damn good. Sensing your train of thought, Yancy broke out into a grin.

“All right, Yancy. You got a deal.”

Next chapter

#a heist with markiplier #ahwm #heist mark #heist mark x reader #heist! mark x reader #yancy x reader #ahwm yancy x reader #ahwm yancy #my writing #nevernotwriting

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Meeting and Courting Doc Scurlock

(My bad gif)(Requested by @that80sslytherin )

(Why is everyone in this movie so damn attractive. Even the dirty rat boy is hot.)

- If the story ain’t broke then why fix it? You first meet Doc during the towns New Years Eve party. You’d been standing off to the side with your friends when he first laid eyes on you, or rather on what he thought was the closest thing to an earthbound angel that he’d ever seen.

- He immediately decided that he needed to get to know you so he walked over, introduced himself and asked your friends if he could steal you away for a dance.

- Doc gets kind of awkward when hes in the presence of a pretty girl. He stumbles over his words, blurts things out, laughs nervously; for a rough and tough cowboy he’s pretty adorable.

- While you dance he tries to make conversation, asking you questions and complimenting you. He recites some poetry and confesses that he’s a poet himself both in an attempt to impress you and because he can’t resist doing so when there’s something so breathtaking in front of him.

- All it took was one dance and you were hooked. How could you not be?

- When you finished your dance (or several dances), he kissed your hand and said that he’d like to speak with you again. You told him where to reach you and made your way back to your giggling friends, leaving him smiling and lovestruck.

- For the next few weeks he sends you letters full of poetry and pressed flowers. Every letter you send back makes him fall deeper in love with you. He reads them over and over, savoring every curve of your writing and the scent of your perfume on the pages.

- He’s definitely snuck into your room late at night so that he could see and talk to you. A lot of the time he’s working during the day so you don’t have a lot of time to see each other.

- Whenever he can get away from the ranch he comes to visit you and takes you on walks, horse rides, whatever he can think of that you’d like. It isn’t long before everyone in town knows that you’re his sweetheart.

- It’s the Old West so it probably isn’t long before he attempts to convince your father to give him his blessing to marry you. It was custom back then, nearly everyone married quickly.

- Regardless of that, your first kiss happened a little ways into your relationship. The two of you had rode your horses out of town together and were resting on a rock, enjoying each other’s company on one of your many dates.

- The sun had begun to set so the two of you were getting ready to head back into town. That was when he turned you around, moved his hands to your face and slowly leaned in, connecting your lips.

- Who knew that one kiss would lead to a lifelong addiction to each other.

- The two of you are inseparable and that’s just a fact. There’s no way a man that falls so deeply in love with a woman so quickly could not want to be by her side 24/7.

- Whenever the gangs together somewhere he’s always seen sitting down so you probably do a lot of sitting in his lap.

- All the regulators are touch starved and I refuse to believe anything else. So on that note~ Doc adores having you close to him and showing him affection.

- He melts when you touch his hair. You can literally see the love for you in his eyes whenever you do.

- Hairline and forehead kisses.

- Helping take care of his hand injury.

- Soft caresses.

- Soooo many compliments and sweet affirmations.

- Docs a poet. He’ll recite and write poetry for you (Some may not actually be his writing but you don’t have to know that).

- Your home has at least one bouquet of flowers in it at any given moment because he’s always picking them for you. Little by little the beautiful things invade your life.

- Every night he holds you close to him, your head resting on his chest as you fall asleep listening to his heartbeat. He’ll hold your hand and wrap his other arm around you while you curl into his side.

- He glances over at you with a smile on his face as he gets ready for work in the morning. He always kisses your temple before he goes.

- Slow kisses. He likes to press his forehead against yours when the two of you part.

- Going to town socials together and dancing the night away.

- The regulators have and will continue to tease him about the way he is with you. He just calls them jealous and says that once they find themselves a woman like you they’ll understand.

- Doc isn’t a particularly jealous guy unless he has a reason to be. Even so, whenever he does get jealous he never blames you. It will always be the guy he’s jealous of’s fault because he trusts you. In his eyes the two of you are made for each other, you’d have no reason to (purposefully) flirt with another man.

- When he’s jealous, he has no problem interrupting whoever is bothering him and taking you away from the situation. He’ll usually give you a hard kiss after you’ve left to calm himself down.

- Riding on the back of his horse. He loves feeling your arms wrapped around him and turning back to see the smile on your face.

- Going for long walks together, often they’re very scenic and away from town so you aren’t bothered by anyone.

- He always likes keeping you close when you’re out together. He’ll keep a protective arm wrapped around your back or his hand in yours.

- I have a feeling Doc would like going to the theater whenever he could so the two of you have been to quite a few shows together over the years.

- Speaking of theater~ I can see the two of you taking turns acting out parts of Shakespeare plays in your living room or bedroom. He’d take the male roles and you’d take the female ones, or sometimes if you wanted to have a laugh you’d switch.

- Need something to help you relax? How about a hot bath and a handsome man sitting on the edge of your tub?

- He loves being able to come home from work everyday and be greeted by your sweet face.

- None of the regulators are going to pass up a massage from a pretty girl, that’s all I’m gonna say about that. (I lied. They also wouldn’t pass up giving one either because well that’s pretty erotic for ye olden days)

- He uses quite a few nicknames and terms of endearment for you. Things like: my love, darlin, and my flower just to name a few.

- He’ll read the newspaper to you or a chapter of a book while you’re sitting together eating breakfast.

- Doc is pretty progressive compared to most men living in the same era as him. He loves you no matter where you came from or what you’ve done in the past and he’ll treat you with the respect you deserve.

- He used to have a pretty bad life so he’s glad to make new memories with you.

- Assuring him that he isn’t a bad person for his actions.

- If you want Doc you’re gonna have to deal with quite a few scary situations no matter how much he tries to keep you away from them. You’ll definitely be shot at at least once.

- Get used to seeing blood because this man always manages to be sprayed with it or get some on him in some way.

- He tries his best to deescalate situations and break the tense atmosphere thats in the room. He’s usually pretty good at calming you down whenever something ticks you off.

- Tries to lighten the mood and make you feel more comfortable. He never wants you to be wary around him.

“You have a big gun.” “It’s a big town.”

- He always reassures you when you’re feeling insecure.

- It breaks his heart to see you upset especially if he’s the one who (accidentally) caused it.

- Fights rarely ever happen in your relationship but whenever they do they never last very long. It takes a whole of two-five minutes for your issues to be resolved. There’s usually a quick burst of anger followed by a feeling of guilt.

- Although rare, whenever he snaps at you he feels bad almost immediately after and is quick to apologize. You may be a bit more stubborn than he is but you have to admit that it’s hard to stay mad at him.

- He always knows just what to say and it’s always the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard.

“Necessary is something you can’t do without and I can’t do without you.”

- Docs incredibly protective of you especially after everything that’s happened in his life. You’re the only thing he truly loves and can call his own. He doesn’t even want to think about you getting hurt.

- He’s more than ready to kill for you. God forbid somebody put you in danger or tried to do something to you, he’d be blown away in half a second.

- You ever wanted to be rescued and taken away from somewhere? Well you’ve found a man whose more than willing to be your knight in shining armor. All you have to do is ask and you’ll be towns away by nightfall.

- Every woman in town/that you know wants to have/find a relationship like yours.

- Being around each other never gets old. You could be married for years and he’d still look at you like it’s the day he first met you.

- God is he in love with you. Never in your life have you ever felt so cared about and adored. Everything he does and says shows you just how much he’s hopelessly devoted to you. You couldn’t have asked for a better man.

#80s movie imagine #80s imagine #80s movie headcanons #80s movies #80s movie headcanon #80s imagines #80s movie #80s movie imagines #young guns #young guns imagine #young guns headcanons #young guns headcanon #doc scurlock headcanons #doc scurlock #doc scurlock headcanon #doc scurlock imagine #kiefer sutherland

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