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#because of the happy chemicals the process creates
logically-asexual · 2 years
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guys check out my new boots 🥺
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also my nails and my earrings
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otherwise i’m dressed in all black.
im going to a party and i’m probably going to be overdressed but i’m trying to convince myself to not care about it.
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thejournallo · 3 months
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Explain the basic: Energy manipulation
Disclaimer: in this chapter you are going to learn the physical and spiritual meaning of energy! Everything I will talk about is information that I got from books and sites online and even videos on YouTube. In my years of practice, I learned as much as I could out of curiosity and what works best for me. I suggest you do the same by learning as much as you can on your own (I will be here making posts teaching this kind of stuff) from multiple sources.
tags: @koda-manifesting
As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!
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When it comes to energy manipulation, we have to remember the 12 laws of the universe!  According to these laws, we are all connected; everyone vibrates at different rates, and energy is always changing! We can use the knowledge that those laws gave us to manipulate the energy that is around us in different aspects. Before we start to talk about what energy manipulation is, let's learn what energy is, even in a more scientific aspect.
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witchcraft: 
"Energy" is often referred to as the life force or spiritual power that flows through all living things and the universe itself. People who practice witchcraft often work with this energy to bring about desired changes in their lives or the world around them. This energy is believed to be manipulable through various practices such as rituals, spells, meditation, and visualization.of course Different traditions and practitioners may have their own specific beliefs and terminology surrounding energy, but it is generally understood to be a fundamental aspect of the spiritual and metaphysical realms of witchcraft.
manipulating energy: 
More often than not, we manipulate this energy, which can happen on a daily basis without our knowledge. In a more visual explanation, we are surrounded by a bubble. Bubble = spiritual energy. When we go out and do our daily things and have our daily experiences, we give some piece of bubble. Energy manipulation is understood if we are using our bubble, understood when we have to use it and use it to our own advantage. for example, "If I feel this kind of bad feeling from a person, I will use a piece of my bubble to protect myself." I used my spiritual energy to protect myself from negativity.
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science:
Energy is defined as the capacity to do work or produce heat. It exists in various forms such as kinetic energy (the energy of motion), potential energy (stored energy), thermal energy (the energy associated with temperature), chemical energy (energy stored in the bonds of chemical compounds), electromagnetic energy (energy carried by light and other electromagnetic waves), and many others.
The law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed from one form to another. This means that the total energy within a closed system remains constant over time, even as it may change from one form to another.
Energy plays a fundamental role in all physical processes and is a central concept in fields such as physics, chemistry, and engineering. It's a crucial aspect of understanding the behavior of matter and the interactions between different systems in the universe.
Why am I talking about physical energy?
because we can use physical energy to practice witchcraft. Let me give you another visual example.  We are going on a walk to feel relaxed and release some tense energy. We are using kinetic energy to protect our peace.  It is all in the intention and the mindset when you use this kind of physical manipulation; even lighting a candle before a spell means using thermal energy to protect the space. (I'm saying protection as an example.) You can do pretty much anything; a walk can equal aboundance if that's what you want.
NSFW TALK AHEAD (MINOR DO NOT INTERACT)
It is a bit uncomfortable for me to talk about this, but it has to be said. Carnal acts like sex or masturbation can also be used to manipulate energy, and it is a whole practice in itself called red magic, where you use the build-up energy of the orgasm and the peak release to put your intention in the world. The tricky part is to actually concentrate on your intention until you release it. 
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spideyzgirl · 1 year
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love’s magic 🪄
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A/N: are we feeling this? lmk
summary: you cook up a potion to get peter to fall in love with you; why isn’t he falling for you like he should?
warnings: a lot of sciency talk (i died writing it), witch!reader??? angst, fluff, a tiny tiny bit of stony
pairing: peter parker x reader
wc: 2578
masterlist | taglist
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peter enters the lab to find you at your regular spot at your table. you look up and smile upon his arrival. “hi peter, i made love!”
“you did what now?” peters eyebrows shoot up at your statement.
“i made a love potion!” you squealed, holding up a tiny vial filled to the brim with a reddish-pink hue. you shook the vial and watched with pride as the glittery liquid swirled around.
right off the bat, peter had a million questions. none of which he would ask, because he didn’t want to come off as jealous.
“that’s… wow! does it work?” peter forced a smile.
“don’t you see the two rats making out on my desk?” you gesture towards the clear container that sure enough, held smooching rats.
“yes i do, and it’s really unnerving.” peter frowned.
“we should probably turn around and give them some privacy.” you nod.
you shake the vial once again and smile at peter. “well? what do you think? you haven’t said anything yet…”
peter takes it from you to shake it around for himself, watching concoction swish inside. he can feel the jealousy growing stronger. “yeah, it’s cool.” peter gives a small smile, trying his best not to infringe on your achievement.
“just cool? peter, i’ve been through months of trial and error to finally perfect this thing. “cool” is all you have for me? i mean, this is super intense! when consumed, it’ll flood your brain with pleasure inducing chemicals. i’m talking dopamine, oxytocin- any love hormone you can think of. not only does it affect the neurotransmitter process, but it also has a powerful affect on the brains reward system.”
“i have a reward system in my brain? that sounds awesome, what is that? what does it do?” he beamed. peter loves when you get enthusiastic about science. he doesn’t understand half of what you’re saying, yet he listens and nods intently anyway. he adored seeing you so excited about your passion.
“the reward system is what drives us to seek out food, water, and other necessary things for survival. when someone ingests the love potion, the brain starts to recognize the object of their affection as a necessary part of their survival, which causes them to crave that person in a similar way to how they would crave food or water. so, is it still just cool?” you smirk, knowing you’ve piqued his curiosity.
“no, it’s amazing! it’s also kind of scary. i’m really happy you had your breakthrough.” peter offers a smile and looks off to the side.
“but what? i’m open to criticism.”
“well, i’m just wondering who you made it for. you must really like this person, if these are the lengths you’ll go for them…” he scratches his head.
“i made it for me.” you reply simply.
peters heart drops at your answer. “why, are you trying to fall in love or something?” he nervously chuckled.
“i’m already in love. i’m just not so sure he’s in love with me.” you sigh dejectedly.
really, you made it for peter, but you weren’t about to tell him that. you’ve had feelings for him for far too long now, and the need for him to be yours was overbearing. your subtle hints might’ve been too subtle for peter, and you didn’t have a drop of courage for you to be forward either. so you did what you do best.
“you couldn’t have just… talked to him? did you really have to go to such an extreme measure?”
your eyes widen slightly, the tone of his question threw you off. “wait you don’t think this is weird do you?”
“no! i’m just saying, all those months you spent creating a potion could’ve been used to actually talk to this person, you know?”
“i guess you’re right.. maybe i shouldn’t have done this then?” you look at the potion as you think.
“no you totally should’ve! you’ve done something incredible here, don’t be ashamed!”
“no, it’s okay. i know i’m probably way in over my head. but, there’s just so many times you can drop hints to someone so oblivious.” you shrug with a smile.
“who is this idiot anyway? i can’t believe he pushed you to such a point.”
“oh, you know. just a guy. he’s usually not so dumb.” you stifle a laugh as you answer.
“oh come on, i don’t get to know who it is? that’s lame.” he playfully shoved you.
“you’ll find out when we’re together.” you smile in a way that told peter your lips are sealed.
“alright, i’m holding you to that,” he hands you the vial “i’ve gotta run soon, but good luck with your.. guy.”
“thanks,” you pull him into a hug, which he gladly reciprocates. you’re not sure why you did it, but it felt right. you get butterflies when his hand gradually moves to your lower back. you wanted to think he was testing the waters, seeing how far he could get before you stopped him.
“oh god.” peter gasped, his hold on you slightly loosening.
“what? what is it?” you pull away while your hands rest on his forearms.
“the rats are having sex, y/n. why are they doing that?”
“i feel like that’s pretty self explanatory. they don’t call it a love potion for nothing you know.” you wink.
“you didn’t know that would happen, did you?” he laughed.
“nope. i did not. but it’ll be fine! i’m not gonna go that far, if that’s what you’re worried about.” you tried to hide your smile at his concern.
“good. but what if your potion works a little too well? what if this guy can’t control himself? what if he goes so crazy over you he’ll try to hurt you?” peters grip on you tightened as he spoke, you didn’t even know he was still holding on.
“oh, he’d never. he would never hurt me in a million years. there’s nothing to worry about, this is safe, i promise. but thank you for worrying about me.”
“you know i always got you.” and it’s true. peter cares you so much, he’s willing to push you into the arms of another guy if it makes you happy, even if it kills him inside.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
later that night, peter found himself being lured into the kitchen by the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies. just as you set a fresh tray of them on the counter, peter was instantly behind you.
“ooh, cookies? don’t mind if i do!” peter quickly snatches a cookie and bites into it, humming at the delicious taste.
“peter no! those cookies are…” you trailed off, wondering why you were warning him, when the cookies were for him after all. “are… fresh out of the oven! they’re piping hot, don’t you wanna wait for them to cool?” you smile nervously, watching him carefully for any minor changes.
“sorry, i couldn’t help myself. they’re just too good. are they homemade?”
you nod, watching with worried eyes as he shoveled two more into his mouth. “okay, maybe you should slow down? i don’t want you to get a tummy ache..”
“i’ll be alright,” he shrugged. “besides, i’ll have you to take care of me.”
your heart flutters at the statement, and you try your best to hide your smile.
peter frowns slightly and hums. “hey, these kind of taste sparkly.”
“it must be starting to kick in,” you mumble to yourself. “are you feeling alright? come here.” you place your hands on his cheeks on his face to check his temperature, but he feels normal. while you wanted the spell to work, you still wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to hurt him.
“please, just don’t eat anymore cookies? you’ve had more than the necessary amount of doses.”
“doses?” his head slightly fell to the side.
“uh, why don’t we let the cookies cool? i bet they’ll taste even better then.” you ignored him.
“oh, okay. so tell me. what’s the secret ingredient?”
you smile, seizing your opportunity. “love.”
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
it didn’t take long for you to doubt the success of your potion. it should’ve taken effect within the first few minutes consumed. it’d been 4 hours since peter ate the cookies, and you haven’t seen him since.
either the spell wasn’t working, or it killed him.
if the spell was working though, the effects didn't seem to be as powerful as you’d anticipated. you began to wonder if all of your hard work had been for nothing.
“peter, you better be dead,” you huffed as you checked the time on your phone again. “i knew i should’ve tested this on steve and tony.”
then you decided, maybe all hope wasn’t lost. perhaps you needed to put in a bit of effort on your end. you were a bit on the shy side, it wouldn’t hurt to take initiative from time to time.
you texted peter to meet you in your room and in no time, he strolled inside taking a seat by you on your bed.
“what’s up?” he greets you.
“nothing, just look at me.” you stare into his eyes, searching for any hint of interest in you.
peter blinks and rubs his eyes. “shit, i lost. you never let me win.”
“what? we weren’t- you know, what never mind. just come closer.”
peter obliged, and you embraced him in a tight hug. “how does this feel? pretty intimate, right?”
“warm, cozy, everything a y/n hug should be.” he sighed
you groan and let go of him. “so you don’t feel anything at all?”
peter looks at you for a moment and thinks. your heart beats faster. this is it, he’s going to say everything you’ve been dying to hear for the past year.
“well… i’ve had this awful cramp in my calf lately. i’m just not sure what to do. what do you suggest?” he asked simply.
your heart sank. it seemed that all your efforts had been in vain. you spent so much time and energy making this potion, and for what? it didn't seem to have any effect on peter.
“that’s not what i mean! why didn’t it work? i’ve been trying for months!” you rest your forehead on your knees, unable to stop the tears from rolling.
“woah, what’s going on?” peter frowned, placing a hand on your back. but you don’t answer.
you couldn't help but feel defeated. you put so much of yourself into this project, and now it seemed like a complete failure. not only were you unsuccessful with your potion, but the boy you were hopelessly in love with didn’t take even a slight romantic interest in you. the realization was like a punch to the gut.
“what’s it gonna take for you to want me? i’m asking you now, because i can’t seem to figure it out for the life of me! i go as far as making a love potion just to get you to like me and it still won’t fucking work? i can’t do this for much longer! i spent months working on that potion,” you spat out, your voice quivering with rage. “i researched every ingredient, every spell, and every technique. so i would love for you to tell me, what it is about me that repels you?”
you’re almost panting from the anger, though it wasn’t directed towards peter. you wiped at the tears, but they kept coming.
peter was stunned with your outburst. it was definitely a lot to process. selfishly, the only thing he took from that was that you liked him. the same girl he’d been pining after for years was finally reciprocating. peter spent so much time dreaming about this moment but he never thought it would actually happen.
he mouth went ajar as he stammered, failing to form a coherent sentence. you never yelled at him before, he didn’t know how to react. all he could manage was, “you made that potion… for me?”
“yes,” you utter feebly, avoiding his eyes. “but it doesn’t matter anymore. we can just pretend this didn’t happen. my potion didn’t work, and you’re just not into me.”
“no. i can’t do that,” he shook his head, a grin plastered on his face. “not when i finally know you feel the same way about me.”
you look at him, confusion evident on your face.
“i’ve been working up the courage to ask you on a date, but i couldn’t after you told me you were making a love potion for someone else. do you know how much that crushed me?”
“and you didn’t stop me?” you fought a smile.
“i couldn’t. you were so excited about the spell working, about the person you were gonna use it on. i didn’t wanna ruin it for you because i love you.”
“i love you too,” you smile shyly, toying with the bottom of your shirt. “we’re so stupid.”
“no kidding. i can’t believe you made a potion instead of telling me you like me.”
“i can’t believe you told me to go be happy with someone who isn’t you.” you playfully bump into him, and he takes your arm gently, keeping you close.
“you’ll never hear it again.” his eyes are locked on your lips while his other hand delicately grips your chin, pulling you closer and closer until your lips meet.
your eyes flutter shut as you lose yourself in the moment. it was an explosion of sensation, your bodies coming together in a perfect harmony that felt like it had been brewing for months. it wasn't just a kiss, but an emotional release that had been building for years. you couldn't get enough of each other, your lips moving against the others in perfect union.
you both reluctantly pulled apart, breathless, knowing that nothing between you would ever be the same again; you were perfectly fine with that.
“holy shit.” you gasp.
“what happened?”
“i think i know why my potion didn’t work on you. you were already in love with me, so of course it wouldn’t work on you! i’m not a failure after all.”
“of course you’re not. i can’t get those rats out of my mind. i think in pictures, so you can imagine how horrible this is for me.” he shook his head.
you gasp again, standing up so fast you see spots. “i left the cookies out!”
“it’ll be fine. just stay here with me. we need to make up for lost time, don’t you think?” he winked.
“you haven’t figured it out yet? the love potion is in the cookies!”
“wait, are you serious?” he frowned.
you rolled your eyes and dragged him towards the kitchen. you cursed when you found that all of the cookies were gone.
“oh god. this could be bad.” you wince.
just then, steve sprinted through the kitchen with tony hot on his trail. “come back you coward! you can’t escape my love, no matter how fast you run!” tony yelled after him.
peter covered his mouth as he laughed, and your jaw dropped.
“that right there was an immediate call for an antidote.” you immediately turned to leave.
peter looked to the side in horror, to see thor in a full heated make out with his hammer. “please hurry,” he shuddered. “that’s image number three unfortunately seared into my brain today.”
you turn your attention to thor and shrug. “i honestly think that would’ve happened with or without the potion.”
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likeadevils · 3 months
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Reputation Timeline
This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.
If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.
I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 
Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date
Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date
Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.
Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices
February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).
"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."
March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).
May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).
Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."
October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.
November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).
Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”
April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).
So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.
August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."
Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)
In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 
King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)
In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.
September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."
I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)
In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.
Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)
Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.
I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)
In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 
January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."
Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)
Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”
Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)
This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.
Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)
Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.
Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)
In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.
New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)
There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 
...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)
In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 
Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)
In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).
End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)
Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.
Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)
In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)
In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.
So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)
Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).
And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:
TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag
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rashomonss · 11 months
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For the 800 Followers how about:
“If you keep being loud they’ll hear us” + Mephisto (If you’re writing for the Trio)
Happy 800 btw! Hope u have a great weekend! And thank u!
thank you so much anon and you too!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
and ofc i can!! lately I’ve liked writing for him a bunch which is a bit weird since I’m not particularly fond of him sometimes, but boy did I have fun with this one, hope you enjoy! (๑>؂•̀๑)
also you any of you would like to request a remaining prompt for this event please do so here!
Turn down the lights everyone because it’s red hour with rashomonss ♡
Warnings +18 (NSFW): read at your own discretion
you look so good just like that
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You have lately found yourself around Mephistopheles a lot more than you would have imagined. It’s not as if it was bad in a sense, you were just shocked by the sudden realization.
As you continued to spend more time around the hard-headed demon you couldn’t help but develop slight feelings for him, and he didn’t make it any better with all the sexual tension he would create between the two of you.
Today was just another one of those days.
You had recently been helping out a lot with the RAD newspaper club so that's how you got into the predicament you were in today.
“Make sure to grab the correct cameras we used, because we’ll be in there for a while” Mephisto said to you as he walked to the newspaper club's dark room.
“Yeah yeah” you sighed then grabbed the cameras and walked into the dark room right after.
Mephisto then closed the door and locked it after you walked in, making sure no one would open it while the two of you were developing film. He would hate for the pictures he took of Lord Diavolo to be ruined because of some carelessness.
He began showing you how to mix the chemicals needed for developing said film and honestly it was more interesting than you originally thought it to be.
Throughout this process though you kept sneaking glances at him as well as giving him a slight attitude. Your subtle flirting was going over his head because he was way denser than you thought, so you decided to take a different approach and mess with him instead.
“You’re awfully bratty today, you know that?” Mephisto then said, walking towards you slightly annoyed with your behavior.
“And what of it? You’re just sensitive.” You smiled smugly at the demon in front of you. You’re guessing he didn’t take kindly to that last phrase because he narrowed his eyes at you and crossed his arms in response.
“Be quiet human you’re annoying me”
For some unknown reason you decided to see how far you could push it with him today, so you looked at him and mockingly said “make me”
“You’re such a brat,” Mephisto said, grabbing you by your uniform collar and pulling you closer to him. “But don’t worry I’ll make you shut up”
No later than a second he pulled you into a kiss and began to push you onto an empty countertop. As he deepened the kiss you held his uniform tightly, and eventually broke free after a while in need of air.
“Well that finally shut you up” he replied mockingly as he looked at your hands grabbing his uniform.
“But we’re far from done.”
“What?” You said then looking at him confused.
“If you think I’m going to excuse the behavior you displayed earlier today as well then you’re greatly mistaken human, now turn around.”
You did as he instructed, interested in where he was going with this, much to your surprise however the second you turned around he pressed you face down onto the empty countertop. He then quickly did away with your uniform bottoms and undergarments as well as his own. Then after a minute or two of him prepping you with his fingers you could feel his cock at your entrance.
“Let’s see how much of a brat you are now” Mephisto said before pounding into you, making sure you took all of him in.
A loud inhale escaped your lips and you rolled your eyes back slightly due to his roughness. A satisfied sound came from behind you and he stayed still for just a moment before pulling almost all the way out and pounding into you again, even faster than the first time.
As he continued with this rough and fast pace, moans began to slip through your mouth as you tried to grip onto anything as he held you down on the countertop.
“Who’s sensitive now hm?” He said cooing as he continued to pound into you at the same pace.
Mephisto enjoyed the sight of you trembling beneath him. If he’s being honest he’s wished to see this sight for a while now. Ever since you began hanging around him he couldn’t help the urge of wanting to do this to you.
This urge especially intensified when he eavesdropped on the brothers conversation the other day. Mammon had been talking to Asmodeus at the time he heard the conversation.
They both were talking about your strange relationship with him, and much to his surprise Asmodeus then mentioned you liked him. Mephisto truly was shocked upon hearing the news and stayed for a bit longer to confirm if it was true. It turned out to be because Mammon flipped out when Asmodeus claimed you slipped up and told him during your weekly skincare night.
Ever since then he’s wanted to do this to you.And now he finally got the chance.
He’s been getting fed up with that mouth of yours after all.
The slight sounds of skin slapping skin could be heard as he continued to pound you full of his cock, however he should have been one to check the time.
Because just as you were about to reach your orgasm a knock was heard at the door which in turn startled you both causing Mephisto to stop.
“Sir Mephistopheles are you in there?” A voice asked after a few seconds.
Both of you could tell that was one of the newspaper club members, and you looked at him worried but also annoyed at the denial of your release.
“Yes I am. I’m busy developing film, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t open the door” He responded with his regular tone.
“Oh but don’t think I forgot about you” he then whispered, pushing his cock into you again, this time much slower than before, making sure you felt every single inch of him. You rolled your eyes back and let out a soft whimper as he filled you with himself.
“Okay sir, I’ll let the others know” the demon then said, and after a few minutes he walked away. However just as he was about to continue numerous voices could be heard in the club room now.
“Looks like everyone is back from classes,” you said, trying to catch your breath.
“It appears so…Well then, where were we?” Mephisto then said, pressing you down again onto the counter again.
His slow pace stopped and he resumed the fast pace from earlier causing you to moan louder than you had liked. Plus it didn’t help when he then repositioned himself and pounded into you soon hitting that perfect spot.
This drove you insane as he continued to abuse that spot due to him finally finding the reaction he liked. As you begin to unravel beneath him your sounds then became louder as a result.
Mephisto covered your mouth with his gloved hand and held on tightly to your hips with his other one.
“Now, now…” he cooed
“If you keep being loud they’ll hear us”
“You wouldn’t want that would you?”
You shook your head slightly as his hand still covered your mouth. Mephisto gave you a pleased sound in response then spoke again.
“You’re such a good human now aren’t you?”
“Sir are you okay in there? I heard a loud noise a second ago” another voice said knocking on the door.
“Yes I just bumped into something. Nothing to worry about” he responded a little bit more breathy then he would have liked.
“Ah okay then sorry to bother”
Mephisto laughed and forced your head back slightly with his gloved hand that still rested on your mouth. “You’re close aren’t you? Do you want to cum?”
You nodded as you looked back at him eagerly not wanting to be denied an orgasm again.
“Well since I’m such a nice demon I’ll allow it. Now then, be good and cum for me will you” Mephisto whispered into your ear as he went faster.
Upon hearing his words that knot finally snapped and you came as his cock continued to pound into you. You rode out your orgasm and he did as well after a few more moments.
You both were a panting and sweaty mess after it everything was over.
Being the “nice demon” that he was Mephisto then cleaned you and himself up as well as helped you change back into your uniform.
“Next time you act like a brat don’t blame me if we get caught” he sighed, as he began finishing up with the film.
“Hm well I might have to start pushing your buttons even more if you continue to do that” you smirked back at him.
“You’re unbelievable”
“Um…there’s cum on this photo…are we still going to use it?” You asked
“Of course not throw it away! Scratch that, just burn it” Mephisto then yelled, he groaned then grabbed his face as you laughed in response.
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softpine · 3 months
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This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!
this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.
but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.
essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!
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seat-safety-switch · 10 months
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When you’re working on a problem, it’s easy to lose track of the rest of life. You become distant, your mind grinding on what little detail you could have possibly overlooked. Maybe a little irritable as things like “the light turned green” interrupt your placing of another brick in your shining mind palace. If you’re lucky, you’ll figure it out, and the resulting rush of self-satisfaction erases any memory of the several hours/days/weeks/months of agony you had to go through, trapped in said mind palace.
Of course, we don’t always figure it out. Not solving a problem is what makes us human. Life’s imperfect, and we operate with imperfect knowledge, imperfect tools, limited time, and a sack of meat that misfires and hallucinates if you stop feeding it coffee. If we fixed everything we set out to fix, then bridges wouldn’t fall down. Downtowns wouldn’t be immersed in flame. Bathtubs wouldn’t be slippery. That question, that unknowability, is what gives the human process of “figuring some shit out” its risky thrill.
A machine can figure things out, too. Maybe it can even infer from its experiences and derive new beliefs. If it can’t solve the problem, though, the machine doesn’t get up and throw a claw hammer through the wall of the garage. It doesn’t hop up and down, screaming profanity that’s yet to be invented. To the machine, it doesn’t really matter if your problem got solved or not, because it’s happy to just have been provided with power and a clock signal. What a loser mindset that is.
More importantly, the machines don’t know which problems to focus on. Like I said, they’re all the same to computers. You can come back to your android manservant after a few hours, only to find out he started digging a hole to China using an old tea spoon because you didn’t tell him when to stop excavating the garden or what to do it with. A human being would have stopped after about the first hour and started whining about how much their handsies hurt, then probably wandered off to play with dangerous chemicals. No sense of laziness, robots. That’s why we don’t let them vote.
So if you’re out there, compulsively overthinking a problem, maybe take a few minutes and think about those poor computers. Unless your problem is with a computer, in which case you should go create some new problems to take your mind off that one. They’re on their own.
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golvio · 9 months
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I also think Applebright is about poisons and toxins because the monks who made a pact with her to set up the Grove of Green Immortals are specifically Heart-aspected horticulturalists who specialize in knowledge of medicines. There are reasons why herbalists and medical researchers would want to have even poisonous plants around, as in controlled doses or as an ingredient in a greater chemical reaction, that which kills can cure.
For example, foxglove is toxic to the heart because of the cardiac glycosides it produces, but those same chemical compounds are used in highly controlled doses in drugs like digoxin to treat heart failure. A widely-used antimalarial drug is derived from sweet wormwood. Pacific yew creates a toxic compound used in paclitaxel, which has been used in cancer treatments since the 1960s to inhibit cancer cell growth. White willow, toxic if ingested, is processed into salicylic acid, a popular skin treatment for acne and dandruff you can get over-the-counter at any drugstore or supermarket. Even caffeine, that ever-popular and omnipresent stimulant, was produced by its host plants as a toxin intended to ward off its herbivorous predators, and can be fatal to humans in extremely high doses.
Not to mention it’s extremely useful to have poison samples around when you’re developing antidotes for them. I’m guessing that the methods the monks use to actually test their hypotheses are…a little dubious, depending on whether they or the Applebright are responsible for that skeleton outside of the grove’s front gate. This is taking place in the same universe as Cultist Simulator, after all. But they have a vast trove of medical knowledge and seem happy to share what they’ve learned with other institutions of occult learning.
(It’s also funny their other specialty is Moth lore. Of course, as the lore of The Wood, it’s incredibly useful knowledge to have when your job involves regularly dealing with a garden of scary magical plants that are constantly trying to kill you.)
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dutiful-wildcraft · 2 months
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Pack Kortac - Demon! Swagger Lore
Tags: monster au, blood, gore, flesh eating, he's a monster he eats people, soulmate elements.
-The birth of Roland “Swagger” Kominksi was not a traditional one. His mother’s were witches, young and powerful, who longed deeply for a child they simply could not create. They tried runes and tinctures, nights of passion under the pale full moon, and yet conceiving one of their own blood was simply not meant to be.  And so it was through careful ritual that they instead summoned a babe.  A hellacious bouncing baby boy. Sweet Roland.
-Magic users and demons are intrinsically linked. For every witch there is a Chosen demon. Bonding with your chosen is said to curate a great power for both parties involved. However, summoning is not a reliable process. Just because you summoned a demon, it did not mean it was your demon.
-Chaos would ensue, witches summoning guard dogs in the form of hellish beasts in order to build their power. It would backfire. Lacking bonds, demons are insatiable, feasting on the blood, bone and power of the creatures around them.  The more magical, the more filling. It quickly became outlawed amongst the covens to use such tactics, less they become wiped out completely.
-Swaggers mother’s were no exception. They had decidedly left their former lives in order to live one they longed for. It was sheer luck they summoned a more manageable youngster, and they spoiled Roland rotten, wanting nothing more than to see their little one happy and thriving. Even if it meant slaughtering the locals or grave robbing to keep their little boy fed. 
-And it’d worked. He was loved and sated. Able to attend school with the other children. That is until suspicion began to fly regarding their village’s disappearances. They would start again, moving to France and maintain movement to avoid problems.
-Swagger never quite fit, if not for his off accent, then for his peculiarities, which earned him ridicule in the classroom. But he excelled academically and athletically. It wasn’t until a fellow student had an unfortunate accident in chemistry class that Swagger would be pulled from school. The poor student’s face had been melted clean off. The chemicals they were using should not have been nearly as dangerous. And no one would notice that that student was a particular repeat offender in harassing Swagger.   
-When Swaggers Chosen was born into the world his hunger doubled. It became increasingly apparent that he couldn’t sustain a life in the French countryside, regardless of his mother’s support. It occurred to them that they wouldn’t be safe for much longer either. A career in warfare seemed appropriate for both his skills and dietary needs. Here, Swagger would flourish.
-Swagger is an incredibly competent soldier. Having absorbed everything he could get. Medic, demo, distance or close combat. You name it, he can do it. And he is an arrogant shit about it.
-Very playful on the field, chatty on the comms. However he can and will take over a situation, where he leads with care and efficiency.  The only reason he hasn't pursued a higher position is because he knows it will take away from his time in the field. He could give a fuck less for the paperwork involved. 
-Anything is a weapon in Swagger’s hands. Steel chairs, power tools, briefcase, pool ball, piano, wave runner, toilet, toilet water. That one incident with the zamboni.  Has been known to use his own rifle as a fucking warhammer when ammo is gone.
-Appears to be everywhere and nowhere. Seemingly popping up out of nowhere to help out any of his fellow teammates where he absolutely showboats. 
-Regularly rubs his skills in on the field. “You need me, don’t pretend” he purrs in his french lilt. 
-Annoys the absolute piss out of Nikto and König, frankly corvid behavior. Pokes at them just enough to get a snap before taking off with a chuckle. 
-Nosey. Not gossipy, no. Nosey He has the dirt on everyone, simply because he likes having the information. Will totally feign ignorance about some hot gossip, even though he found out about it days ago from someone else. 
-Is generally liked by the team, he can be conceited, but most have come to tolerate it. Actually gets along with Declan. He’s besties with Stilleto.
-World’s biggest sore loser. Can't play board games for this reason. Not since he got into a fist fight with Declan over Uno. Will accuse everyone of cheating. 
-Can't sit normally, likes to perch in high places. Absolutely kicks his legs like a toddler.
-Has freckles.
-Being a demon, Swagger is equipped with a “true” form he can shift into at will. Some of these elements peak through when he is particularly compromised or starving. Eyes that resemble that of a bearded vulture. He remains hidden under his mask and layers.
-Swagger’s mask became a necessity. The farther he falls, the harder it is to control himself. Noxious fumes and acidic fluid spills from his mouth in the heat of it all. The mask is to keep the fumes in rather than out.  These fumes can range from mild sedatives, psychedelics, or poisons.
-As stated above Swagger’s diet primarily consists of flesh and bone. He can eat processed animal meats or long dead corpses if he absolutely has to. But there is an emotional element to his feeding. Something about the residual emotion buried in the bones of a fresh kill is more filling. The more magical the better. Has been seen snacking on teeth like fucking m&ms.
-Has been found more than once painting himself in blood. For scent camouflage he claims. He’s certainly not obsessed with it aha.
-Has been confident since the day his mother’s told him stories of Chosen pairs. He always knew he would find his. He would just need to be patient. When the time came, he would devour them. Rightfully take back control of himself. That is until he meets her…..
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Did I ever say that my iteration's Mikey is actually part Krang (besides part frog)? Because now I have
So!! About the Krang in my au. They live in Dimension X, and unlike most versions, they actually can't leave for long. You see, Dimension X (much like its 12 version) is littered with energy crystals. These crystals (which the Kraang call "Life Gems") are essential for the Krang's survival, as being too far away from them will deplete their energy and kill them. All of the Life Gems, in turn, answer to a bigger crystal, the Existence Jewel.
Enter Prime, the Krang Royal Scientist. They're a bit... twisted, and power hungry. So when they create a sort of Mutagen that manipulates the Life Gems and thus turn the Krang into mindless servants, they're ecstatic! Finally, power! They proceed to use the Mutagen on all Life Gems they find, turning most (but not all) of the Krang into their 'loyal subjects'. Some who escape the initial process run off and live in shadows, slowly trying to build a rebellion to overthrow Prime. Some decide to join Prime out of their own volition, bc you know... Power™.
What the Mutagen is not able to do, at least not on its own, is corrupt the Existence Jewel, as its too powerful for the chemical. There is a legend, however, saying that the Jewel could be fully controlled by a person, a "pure lifeform, not quite Krang, not quite anything else," that could manipulate it to their whim.
Prime doesn't usually believe in legends and tales, but y'know, desperate times...
They're unable to do much with the Mutagen from Dimension X though, at least not without appropiate test subjects. Luckily, he might know of a human from dimensions away, who's more than happy to experiment away with the mysterious ooze...
Ok so after THAT lore dump, re:The Actual Drawing! Yes Mikey is the pure lifeform from the legend, and being in Dimension X and near the crystals bring out some... intersting side effects. Like uh, New Limbs. Crystal Claws. And a brand new teeth fang in place of a teeth that got knocked out at some point of the story.
A small progression timeline, since we're at it!!
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Yeah, the first transformation isn't pleasant :/ it gets better tho. And post-all-of-that, Mikey gets some brand new, cool mini Life Gems for their mask! (Totally unrelated to how Krang can die if away from the crystals for too long...)
I'm gonna be working on designs for the Krang now!! Aside from Prime's little entourage, they're all very nice, more like 03's Utroms if anything.
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acilykos · 5 months
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Hi. I see you're aroace and I'm too so I was wondering if I could ask you a question? Idk if this is something you do I found you through aroace senkuu post so absolutely feel free to ignore if you don't want to talk about it.
So basically I'm trying to figure out what exactly loveless means. BC a lot of people both arospec and not have told me that label might fit (as in I want 0 romance etc. But also no platonic equivalent). However. I am a very passionate person about my chosen career, music, art, my cat. Those are all things I feel so strongly about, I wouldn't know what to call it but "love". Similarly there are people I care about, just not in a way where I want romance with them or a platonic version of that kind of relationship.
(I've seen you call senkuu loveless too, and I'm a little confused BC he clearly does care deeply about some people and possibly even more so science. Why not call that love? Is it a terminology thing?)
I'm not trying to pick a fight, I really like your analysis of senkuu.
I'm genuinely trying to understand.
It's possible to reject the societal notion of what love is. I do so myself.
But there's no denying that the chemicals involved are something everyone experiences. Like. Everyone gets dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin etc. It's just the context that's different. Much like oxytocin is experienced both in mother-infant bonding and in sexual contact, I get a dopamine rush listening to music but not making out with someone.
(granted romantic love hasn't been that well examined but there does seem to be a consensus on the general chemistry involved)
Same chemicals but different result/feeling, you know?
Not getting these chemicals at all is impossible I think, so that can't be what loveless means.
So what does it mean??? Is it just about society's perception of love??
I personally approached my lack of romantic attraction by Googling the brain chemistry BC clearly I wasn't getting anywhere with the emotional side. I'm not an expert. But the definitions of different aro orientations I see commonly, don't actually address this at all. It's like everyone decided on a different definition of "love" and nobody told me any of them.
Again, I know this sounds very passionate, but I always sound like that. I'm not trying to pick a fight, nor am I expecting you to solve my identity crisis. So really no need to reply if you don't want to. I can see how this would be. A lot to try and answer.
Hi, hi!!
First of all, I'm happy to meet a fellow AroAce!! I'm also calling myself loveless because it fits the most, I did research before and found it was the closest to describe myself.
Second of all, I think it depends on the definition of what loveless means for oneself because as always, sexuality at the end of the day is a fluid and personal thing.
Apologies if some of the thoughts seem jumbled or contradicting. I just woke up, was very happy about getting to ramble and I just don't know how to properly describe my "emotional thought processes" because I decided to illustrate my points with examples.
It's a long read too, I hope you don't mind.
Personally, I define it as a "lack of attraction" because oriented and angled AroAces experience other types of attraction (like platonic, aesthetic, etc.), but don't ask me to explain the difference between either, I really have no idea what it is (no offense to any angled or oriented AroAces). Personally, I find it ironic that the two most known "orientations" of AroAce people are still based on experiencing attraction despite AroAces being known for not experiencing it. So we had to create another word to say "Yeah, we actually don't experience any type of attraction”. It's also ironic to me that we call it "loveless" because it's not that we don't love, we just aren't attracted to people.
I'm an artist, I love art and drawing myself, as well as writing.
I'm also a scientist, I love chemistry, astronomy, pharmacology, psychology, really, I'm just always happy to talk about any subject. In fact, that's my current career, I'm a pharmaceutical technician.
I have favourite songs, favourite subjects, favourite seasons. Favourite shows, favourite characters, hell, I also have favourite ships.
I care about my family and friends too.
It's just that I'm not attracted to people. I don't want a romantic relationship because I don't experience romantic attraction. Same as I don't want a sexual one. I just don't see the need or appeal for another person if the goal is to just have a dinner date or a climax. Sure romance and sex can come hand in hand, but that depends on whether or not you experience either or if you're committed in a relationship. Anyways, I digress.
These two are the typical ones people talk about when it comes to attraction, but then there are the illusive platonic and aesthetic attractions, and many more I believe. One of them is explained later which causes AroAces in the first place to also use the labels oriented and angled.
Platonic attraction, or at least as I come to understand it, is seeing a person and just wanting to be their friend. You see someone and you think "wow, I really want to be their friend!!" also apparently called having a "squish".
I don't do that. I don't really feel something compelling me to talk to this person to become their friend.
Same as I don't feel attraction towards aesthetically pleasing people (which is also a highly individual definition). Or well, for a lack of a better term, the only "Wow, I really like how they look" I experience is in terms of gender envy. I don't want to be with them, I don't want to be them either. I just think "I'd like to express my gender like that". If that makes any sense.
I see people talk about "they're hot" and "they're so cute looking" and how they have this attraction towards them because of the way they look, but I just don't? I may appreciate the beauty by acknowledging that someone has nice features or a cool style, but it's the same as me looking at the weather and going "Ah, the sun is shining, isn't that nice." before continuing to do whatever I did, not spending more time on thinking about the weather.
For a real life example: My sister and I are going to a driving school. She has an aesthetic (and I call it on purpose an aesthetic attraction. She has not spoken once with the guy and she also said it's not exactly a crush) on one of the other people there, which to me makes no sense given his general character he revealed at least at the driving school. She even took his pen he forgot at school (just some company gifted pen from when we got a visit that day) in hopes of giving it back to him and struck up a conversation (She failed to. She was too embarrassed, in case you're curious).
I only acknowledge he has a nice jawline. That's it.
I don't feel any type of attraction towards people. I don't want or need to be their romantic partner. I don't want or need a sexual relationship. Just because someone has a personality that clicks with mine, I don't automatically feel the need to become their friend. If we become friends, great. If we don't it is what it is.
Obviously when I'm friends with someone, I care about them, but it's just... not the way friendships are usually portrayed. I don't feel the need to have many friends, or meet up with them constantly or go on trips or anything of the like. I like them a lot, I want them to be well. I just... don't really feel an attraction? I don't know how to properly explain it.
An attraction for me is either the need to be constantly with them, one way or another, because you physically and/or mentally/psychologically feel the need to be in their presence, whenever an opportunity arises OR that you spent a lot of time just thinking about them (daydreaming, fantasies, you get it). I just don't feel like that. I'm fine with not talking or seeing friends for multiple months or years. I'm also fine if we don't talk constantly too. If the friendship ended because we couldn't maintain it, it wouldn't destroy me.
It actually happened multiple times, I'm fine with it. Do I miss them or feel nostalgic when I think about past experiences with them? Of course, I care about them as people.
But I'd feel the same about it even if we had stayed friends, because I obviously feel nostalgic with things I did with my current friends.
I just really don't have the ""need"" to have friends in my life. I'm not "attracted" towards them, I care about them and I like them, but it's just not the type of attraction or even love that society usually attributes to what (best) friends are supposed to be or behave like.
(Same for my family. I haven't seen some of them in years, I don't need to. I like them, I care about their wellbeing.)
You may be wondering, if that's my attitude towards friendships, how do I even have friendships.
They talked to me one day and we happened to keep talking because we liked what each other had to say. It's been years later, so it's safe to say that we still like each other, but not once have I ever initiated a friendship, funnily enough. All I did was just... reply or talk once and we kept talking and meeting up, and eventually we became friends, and because they know a lot about me and I about them, I care about them.
And this is what I think Senkū is like too.
He cares about his friends deeply and he obviously cares about his family too. But he doesn't feel any attraction to people. He never once had an "I need to be their friend" moment. He accidentally sort of becomes friends with them because of the situation they're in and then develops a friendship with them because they've been through a lot of things for multiple years.
How did he meet Taiju? Because Taiju saved his machinery. Senkū didn't have any friends prior to that. But then they talked and spent their childhood together and became friends.
Taiju introduced him to Yuzuriha, they talked, she helped with his experiments as well, and they too became friends.
Senkū not once initiated a friendship.
He may have approached some of them first, but not because he wanted to be their friend/felt platonic attraction, he just needed them for a plan, then he used them for his plans, but they stuck around and they talked and time passed.
If it comes to his plans or science, he talks first. If it comes to any "emotional" conversational topic, someone else initiates it.
Senkū just doesn't feel the need to have emotional connections, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about his friends or won't develop friendships, if that makes sense. He doesn't seek them, but if friendships happen to develop, he accepts it. He doesn't portray it outwardly, but deep within his heart he still cares.
Everyone in his life started out as an ally, it eventually became friendship. Senkū didn't recruit people because he wanted friends, he recruited them because he had a need for allies to wage war against Tsukasa, then Ibara, then Whyman.
You can even apply it to Senkū's relationship with Xeno, who is according to the fanbook one of Senkū's "closest relationships" (the other one being Byakuya). Senkū respects Xeno as a scientist and as the only NASA employee who actually helped him build a rocket, but even then it's because Xeno talked first and their relationship was strictly mentor and mentee, it was hardly a friendship in what society defines it as anyway. I guess the closest equivalent would be Marty McFly and Doc Brown from Back to the Future (I know, Marty isn't Doc's mentee, but it's about the assisting in science projects part), if it comes to media, but even then Senkū's and Xeno's mentorship would not fit the definition of friendship the way Marty's and Doc's does.
I also call Senkū loveless, because he would never enter a queer platonic relationship (qpr). Entering one would mean you experience a type of connection that is more than friendship, but not romantic or sexual. Or at least that's how I came to understand it. Personally, I'm still confused on what they're actually like aside from them developing from a "tertiary form of attraction". This is where angled and oriented AroAces come in, and why some people call themselves "AroAce lesbians" for example. They experience a different type of attraction towards women that's not just friendship, but it's also not romantic or sexual (at least that's how I understand it, any tertiary attraction feeling AroAces correct or explain it to me, because it's been confusing me for years).
Now look at Senkū and tell me that he'd ever enter such a relationship, when he barely feels the need to make friends on his own. He says it himself "love causes only problems" because of the emotions involved in it. He also, as we established, doesn't feel the need to make friends. If that's already too much and Senkū doesn't have the need for friends, and a QPR is similar, except it lacks the romantic and sexual part and is supposedly "more than a mere friendship", then Senkū definitely wouldn't have that.
I think it's important to mention that, but I think at this point it is obvious, I don't define attraction and caring as the same things.
Why would I? It isn't the same thing, otherwise we wouldn't have different words for it.
Attraction means I myself feel the need to be close to whatever attracts me, maybe that I can't stop thinking about it because I need it in my life, but it can also be superficial.
Care is that it doesn't cross my mind every day, but maybe I happen to think about it once because it crossed my mind, or if I'm with friends or family who tell me about something that happened to them, I care about their wellbeing.
You may also have noticed that I barely even used the word "love" despite talking about being "loveless". As I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't think it's the right term. We love. We care. But it's just not the love people think of first (aka romantic). I love my hobbies, I love my friends and family, I love my favourite characters. But none of this is what society tells me that love is supposed to be or feel like. But it's the most direct way of saying "I don't experience any type of attraction", as misleading as it is, sadly.
And that's it, basically.
Again, it's just my own definition and experience, so how true it is for the majority of AroAces or how much you agree with me, is totally up to you and anyone else. Emotional matters are confusing, and a lot of the time don't make sense and are hard to put into words, but I gave it my best shot with all I know right now. If you're curious or think that loveless may not be the right term after all, you're welcome to do more research on the terms angled and oriented, I bet there are a lot of AroAces who identify with those labels ready to help you out, and who know much more about it than me.
I hope I was able to help you in any way to find some clarity! Thanks again for stopping by, feel free to do that again any time!!
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sickficideas · 10 months
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some hcs i’ve been thinking of recently …!
- dazai gets short of breath easily and coughs often due to his attempts at drowning leaving some water in his lungs
- ranpo gets stress induced low grade fevers when he feels that he messed up
- when fukuzawa first took in ranpo, ranpo got sick regularly bc his immune system got rather weak after living on streets
- firm believer that ranpo gets motion sick and that’s part of why he doesn’t care to learn how to take the train- he’s less likely to get asked to run errands since he needs to someone to with him. but eventually he’ll have to take the train and although he manages to figure it out, one of the members has to pick him up bc he feels so weak after emptying his stomach on the train
- kenji won’t eat for prolonged periods of time in case his ability is needed but this results in him getting dizzy and fainting when he gets up quickly
- yosano gets migraines when cleaning the infirmary because the chemicals irritate her
- sometimes when dazai falls asleep at his desk he’ll have nightmares and is so stressed out when he wakes up that he throws up
also ty for your blog T_T i love it so much we need more bsd sickfic people !!!!! love your content lots 🫡
when i read your fics i always feel inspired to start one myself lolol also sorry this is kinda long
ANON NEVER APOLOGIZE this is such a fantastic list and it's beautifully long i couldn't be more grateful for finding this in my inbox...AND THANK U SO MUCH i am so happy to create content for you guys and YOURE INSPIRING ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL LIST!! anon please write a fic you have great ideas!!! Send it to me if you do!!! until then u should totally send over some port mafia headcanons to match this list teehee😏
- the dazai ones are so...💔 the nightmares were things that he was able to easily brush off at first and he could chalk down the throwing up to just being hungover, but they get worse over time the more time he's away from the mafia, it gets so much harder for him to brush it off and he goes quiet for a while to process it. kunikida will take him over to the couch and encourage him to rest or distract himself and offers to stay with him, even if he's just doing his work real close by 💔 and you're so right i like the short of breath bit a lot, he will Die taking the stairs at the agency. begs atsushi to carry him whenever the elevator is out of service
- RANPOOOO....I never considered motion sick ranpo before but it's perfect 😭 that first time he went with atsushi he was probably like wait okay he doesn't know how to use the train but he gets motion sick too??😭😭 and the bit about him with a weak immune system i can totally imagine he and yosano as teenagers and she's taking care of him and teaching him ways to boost his immune system and take better care of himself💔 and she's always the first to notice those fevers while they're working and tries to coerce him into her office to chill out for a while 💔 she cares him so much
- i love yosano getting migraines she's so migraine sufferer coded...i love atsushi getting nauseous from the antiseptic bc of his very sensitive senses too and this is also fantastic...if he's ever helping her out and it gets too much for either of them she's like okay let's go run some errands and get some fresh air
- KENJI LITTLE BABY 😭😭😭 they all look after kenji very well i love that anthology where he overworks himself and at the end it says they all look after him better...he always thinks he's gotten used to not eating but if he gets excited and stands up too fast from his desk he'll pass out and scare everybody 😭😭😭😭
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Writer Q&A Tag Game
Thank you @sunset-a-story for ALSO tagging me way back in August. I AM SO SORRY
1. What motivates you to write?
It itchy, itchy urge to create something. I NEED it OUT. I MUST make sense of it ALL. The thoughts need ordering and putting together to maximize the happy chemicals. I see something I like that someone else made and I get jealous so I must do something like that, but MY way, and BETTER. It all makes me very itchy (restless).
2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)
I skimmed my entire 3rd draft (so far) to pick a line. There are a lot of good ones but none I liked more than the rest - I couldn't choose. So... I know I've already shared this one but dammit. It is a kickass line. It's also the first line of WIPVII - and you do not know what devils I sold my soul to to escape THAT writer's block.
I will live, I tell myself through the salt water in my eyes and the sting of the south wind on my face. This will make for a good story one day.
5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)
Banter and wit. Which is funny because I always thought that was the thing I would struggle most with - I was the academic overachiever who took herself too seriously in school. But when I reread my drafts there is something that makes me laugh in nearly every scene. Most of my highlighted lines are banter or retorts.
6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?
I love seeing writeblr content on my dash and I looooove getting interactions when I liveblog my writing. It is so nice to be able to share this with people who love it too (rather than inflicting it on my poor irl friends who are not writers). I just love all you Writeblr friends so much!
7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)
A 2x3.5' and a 3x5.5' whiteboard with a rainbow's worth of whiteboard markers in different thicknesses for brainstorming, family trees, timelines. My sketchbook, a mechanical pencil, and YouTube drawing tutorials for my maps and concept art. MS Word, dark mode, Times New Roman pt 11, with comments enabled for my manuscripts, outlines (bullet points), and worldbuilding notes. Subfolders within subfolders stored on my PC to organize all my Word docs. Two separate USBs which my completed manuscripts are saved to (in case something happens to my computer AND one of the USBs).
I have yet to find any worldbuilding or map making software (and it hasn't been for lack of looking) that gives me enough flexibility. I have yet to find any writing software that has features Word doesn't but that would actually help my process rather than overwhelm me.
I do want to write out a draft of WIPVII by hand at some point (though with my penchant for writing hand cramps this might be doomed). I also want to try an electric typewriter.
8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)
WIPVII doesn't have very complex worldbuilding (there is no magic and most of it is ripped from real world history) but I do always love it when authors tell us what way the wind is coming, what smells it carries, what the view is in the distance, whose lands those are... that kind of stuff. Really creates a sense of place. I spent a lot of time mapping all this out in my own novel and I am very happy with it! The description feels so rich!
9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
Learn more about the craft. Writing is problem solving. If you aren't happy with something figure out why - the mechanics and technique behind writing. If you're still stuck learn even more. There are so many great, free resources on tumblr, youtube, blogs, pinterest (though it is most stolen from tumblr) even twitter and tiktok.
Also, learn how to filter out what advice is helpful now versus what should wait for later so you don't get overwhelmed. If you haven't even written a first draft yet don't bother with pacing, exposition, line editing, or let alone how to query. Just focus on the macro-stuff like plot and character arcs.
Tagging with the lightest brush on the shoulder these nine alleged humans: @cheeto-flavoured-pasta, @alnaperera, @bluberimufim, @daisywords, @boundedsea, @full-on-sam, @writernopal, @ashen-crest, @surroundedbypearls
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chrishoughton · 2 years
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Is Cricket meant to have ADHD? My brother has predominantly-hyperactive/impulsive type and I have predominantly-inattentive type and we can both relate. Episodes like "Quiet Please" and "Trivia Night" seem to imply it as well.
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I've tried to answer this question before but because I receive it so often, I'll take another stab at answering it.
I'm so happy so many kids relate to Cricket and Tilly. Many of those kids also relate to Cricket and Tilly on a deeper level, due to a particular diagnosis they may have received. However, I'm very hesitant to confirm any particular diagnosis for Cricket and Tilly for two main reasons: 1.) As much as we try to write Cricket and Tilly as if they're real people, they're not. They are cartoon characters instead of multifaceted emotionally-complicated human beings. I would consider it unethical to give a cartoon character a DSM diagnosis which might ultimately lead kids to seek out a similar diagnosis because they relate to similar behaviors of said diagnosed cartoon characters. I like to think of Cricket and Tilly as unique kids, rather than kids with a particular diagnosis. And I hope kids who have received some type of mental diagnosis, also see themselves as unique individuals, rather than someone who is in need of "fixing."
2.) My main hesitancy around these diagnostic labels is for no other reason than our society's main source of treating these types of diagnoses: drugs. I'm not denying the existence of these different learning abilities or different ways of thinking, I'm simply against the way we treat these "disorders." I think psychiatric drugs are best used in rare cases and generally for a short amount of time, with a plan for the individual to get off of the drug (research long-term use of psychiatric drugs and how psychotropic drug tolerance works- "Your Drug May Be Your Problem" is a great read). For some people, psychiatric drugs carry with them the potential for some extremely dangerous side effects. Further complicating things, these drug side effects are often mislabeled as additional mental health symptoms. Also, due to tolerance build-up, the desired effects of these drugs usually wear off after continuing the same drug treatment for years. This tolerance often leads to higher dosages or more psych drugs to achieve the original desired effect. To make the situation more complicated, psychiatric drugs also create an intense chemical dependency that is rarely talked about and very misunderstood in the medical community. After many years of use, these drugs eventually have very little effect other than staving off withdrawal effects from said drug. An adult choosing to take psychiatric drugs is well within their rights. But children? Who have developing brains? How confident are we that this is the best course of treatment?
I hope you can appreciate my sensitivity around this issue due to the fact that I've been dependent on the SSRI, Paxil (paroxetine) for 24 years now. I was put on it as a child at 10 years old for anxiety attacks and 24 years later, I'm now slowly weaning off of the drug. In some ways, I wish I was never given the drug (which was eventually labeled as unsafe for children and given a black box warning after years of being on the market- whoops!) but in other ways, I'm very thankful for the painful lessons I've learned.
This long awful process of withdrawal has changed my views on the outdated "disease-based" model of looking at mental health. The emerging "trauma-based" model makes a lot more sense to me, both in terms of diagnosing and treatment. This model encourages treatment/healing of the source of the pain, rather than treatment (or numbing) of the symptoms. This model asks "what happened to you?" rather than "what's wrong with you?"
At the risk of looking like a radical, I'll end it there. DISCLAIMER: If you are on any psychiatric drugs, do NOT discontinue use without talking to a trusted doctor (who understands psychiatric drug withdrawal/de-prescribing). And never cold turkey from any psych drug- it's too hard on your CNS and can cause an incredible amount of long-lasting emotional and physical pain. The decision of whether or not to pursue treatment through psychiatric drugs is a very personal decision that should be made by the individual, guided by informed consent from a doctor about the potential benefits and risks that come with any particular drug.
I share this only to speak about my personal experience on the subject. I don't mean to offend anyone nor tell anyone what they should do or believe. To anyone suffering mentally or emotionally, please know that in many ways, I understand and I wish you the best. 💚
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hyrulean-evalink · 9 months
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My own Fierce Deity AU
last post makes me want to share my own FD headcanon with a little backstory.
So, first you need to know my HC that all ancient Deities of Hyrules were Zonais or looked like Zonais (That includes Hylia) okay ? Good.
My name for the FD would be Kishin, taken from the MM Manga. Kishin would be created by the Golden Godesses himself, he would look like a Zonai but much bigger and more animalistic. His strength would be terrifying and he would be a Guardian for Hyrule. Basically a Hero wasn't needed because he was there. So the three Dragons are also there and are also divine beings. Kishin's specific power is that, the more he fights/kill the stronger he gets, making him the perfect guardian.
The Golden Goddesses nopes off Hyrule leaving Kishin, Hylia and the three dragons to chill in the divine realm or whatever. Kishin and Hylia would get VERRRRRRYY close. Except as time goes on, he gets stronger and stronger and the three dragons are like "haha okay but what if one day he snaps and just decide to go on a power trip bc if it happens we won't be able to do anything." It would take a lot of convincing toward Hylia but the four Goddesses combine their powers to seal Kishin away, only having the FD Mask as a leftover of his powers.
Kishin, who's a pure soul who wouldn't hurt a fly if unjustified, feels hurt and betrayed from this, wondering what he did and feel backstabbed from being punished for something he never thought of doing. He is now in a realm in which he can't feel anything, he cannot even process the pain he has because he's not allowed to feel. Yet all he feels is betrayal. There's no grudge or need for revenge. All he wants is just... An explanation.
ITS VERY CRINGE I KNOW BUT IT MAKES MY BRAIN GIVE THE HAPPY CHEMICALS
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pitythefool888 · 2 months
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“Your existence is not impossible, but it’s also not very likely”
In geological time we are nothing but a blip, blink and you could miss an entire human lifespan, even all of humanity accumulated. We are of two minds, the one that can comprehend the vastness of the universe and our relatively small place in it, coming up with models of the universe and ideas like “Deep Time” which serve to let the mind comprehend this immensity, and also of the one that is used to go about our daily lives. Humans are unique creatures in that we have the ability to back step from our lives and take an outsider perspective. At the same time there is no escape from these lives except by death. We have somehow found ourselves in the position of the mind experiencing itself. The Law of conservation of Mass explains that matter cannot be created nor destroyed. If this holds true, every state of being from the beginning of time consists of the same matter being infinitely reorganized into new formations. Same soup just reheated, if you will. We are of the universe, not situated apart from it. We share the same chemical elements with the stars, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Carbon, and Oxygen. I have often asked myself, if we share the same chemical components and have developed complex enough brain functions to be aware of our place in the cosmos, does that make the world like clay in our hands? Looking at all we have deciphered and built over the ages, I would argue that it does. But just like the first time you learn how small you really are in this world, reckoning with what we are capable of can be overwhelming, daunting, and even downright scary. It’s a lot of potential power and a lot of responsibility. I think placing this burden of truth elsewhere is one of the ways we try to cope with this. Faith is put in countless ideas and concepts larger than ourselves and always has been. From the first creation myths to modern religion to maths and physics to rulers, leaders and governments, it seems there is always a default to structures of power. We act in servitude to the entities larger than ourselves because without them the burden falls on the everyday person to work out the meaning of it all, and I reckon that gets in the way of trying to live a normal life, a happy and healthy life full of tiny little things we love so dearly. But in every ideology about the structure of the universe sits an assemblage of millions of lives and generations. In a single lifetime one could only begin to speculate on all the things to consider that makeup an individual existence, much less the existence of all things, but in the thousands if not millions of tangential deities, cosmologies, and sciences that groups of people have oriented themselves to, their is the accumulation of millions of lifetimes of thinkers, from those revered to those who died unknown. All of these lives spent in one way or another looking for the governing pattern and larger plan.
Everyone partakes in meaning-making processed in their own lives at some point or another. I would go as far as to speculate every human beings has at one point asked themselves “what is this all for?”. If that is the case, why hasn’t anyone cracked the code yet? Perhaps it's because there isn’t one. No larger plan, no proper order of things, just chaos we are left to live through and try to make sense of. This would explain why our lives seem so full of absurdity, because that’s the natural state of existence. Yet through all of this we trudge forward. We make lives, make friends, find jobs, homes, fall in love, travel the world, examine and experience. We experience, then we process and dissect, then experience again, process some more, and over time attribute all this thinking and processing to a larger scaffolding that we call a life. When there was no grander scheme to attribute meaning to, we created our own, and defined our lives by those constructions. The indomitable human spirit ringing out across the ages. 
If absurdity is coincidence, and we are the universe experiencing itself, maybe Plato was right when he said you can only be wise when you accept you will never know everything. Maybe you can only find peace when you accept that you will never receive an answer to the biggest questions in existence. But even the ungoverned state of chaos in the cosmos can’t stop us from asking. It may be impossible to know everything, but it’s not impossible to know some things, even a lot of things.  If I truly know nothing in the grand scheme, then how can I rely on my own certainty that there is no larger plan? How can I know the laws of the universe won’t have become a viral, civilization changing phenomena tomorrow? I don’t, and that’s the exciting bit. We can speculate all we want but at a certain point it becomes meaningless if we don’t actively engage in the world we spend so much time thinking about. Even as I began to put pen to paper sitting atop my garage roof, exploring a stream of consciousness exercise on the absurd, I felt I was going mad. I felt I could be sat up their writing forever as I followed each idea down the bend of the river, but then my butt started to get sore and my hand started to cramp and I was forced to tend to those things, unable to write forever. Our physical bodies ground us in the world by ensuring we experience it, and I posit without the physical, if we were just consciousness, we would be driven mad by the immensity of thought, we would end up lost in isolation inside our own minds. 
Absurdity and happenstance are inextricable from existence. There is no way of telling with certainty what is going to happen in the future, be it an hour from now or a thousand years. Expectation and reality are bound to clash against one another, and this is the most important fact of life. If things always went exactly as planned there would be no learning, no variety, no being left speechless and dumbfounded, no state of awe. Without those things one is left in a state of stagnation. Never growing, never changing, never improving. Without absurdity there would be no hope and no humanity, and there never would be. Absurdity is the external factor pushing progress. It is the lifeblood of all existence.
-MD
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