logically-asexual

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a quick doodle bc i’m in a good mood ☺️

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😴💤

#🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

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Posting these here because for once I actually like the fact that I could come up with a background idea.

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🥰💜💙❤️🖤

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like it’s mostly on them for hiring a person that told them on no uncertain terms that they had zero experience working with children. but it’s also on me because they paid me money to do a job and then i didn’t do it well. 3 months of wasting the time of everyone at the school and i still have to be there for another 3 months. everyone had such high hopes for me and they still do but they didn’t consider. that i can’t do anything. they trust me because they think im smart because i did well enough in middle school. but i honestly only did well in math and there were frequent incidents of me not being able to finish too many projects because im just. allergic to them. from birth. and i also can’t socialize. i don’t understand kids i don’t understand people my age. i stand there and have to psych myself up to tell them to get in line. because im too scared of them. and when they make fun of me or are rude to me i never react the way i should because i just swallow it and kindly ask them not to be like that instead of sending them to the principal’s office or something. never really feel like im anyone to give such an instruction. and then i come home and feel like i want to do nothing but cry because it hurts too much to. try so hard to be listened to. i don’t want ever to be the adult or the authority i want to sit and follow simple instructions forever.

i don’t like being responsible of like. having an impact on the world i don’t want to. i don’t want to be seen or heard not even through things i make. i the mere thought of being in charge of some.. material result for the world to access fills me with dread. i am selfish and i want everything i do to be just for me. i don’t want to affect anything or anyone ever please

#sorry for so much venting and no actual content #i dont have anything to say about miraculous or whatever #im just watching shows or videos currently to get my brain to shut up

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i decided to take on a project and i wanted these kids to have something to display but in the end we weren’t able to finish. i still had hope for one of the groups but i just checked and they didn’t finish the last thing we needed either. so im going to have to tell everyone that i failed. and i honestly would have failed at all the other projects if it weren’t for the help of their other teachers. i want to stop. i dont want to work.

i don’t like being responsible of like. having an impact on the world i don’t want to. i don’t want to be seen or heard not even through things i make. i the mere thought of being in charge of some.. material result for the world to access fills me with dread. i am selfish and i want everything i do to be just for me. i don’t want to affect anything or anyone ever please

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tomorrow the kids work in did with them will be on display for their parents to see and i did most of the projects together with the kid’s main teacher so i don’t feel so bad about those but there are a couple that were purely computer class stuff and i need to do some things so they’re properly displayed and ://// i don’t wanna i feel bad i did a terrible job and i want to. give up. on any existence other than staying in my room watching shows and building puzzles

i don’t like being responsible of like. having an impact on the world i don’t want to. i don’t want to be seen or heard not even through things i make. i the mere thought of being in charge of some.. material result for the world to access fills me with dread. i am selfish and i want everything i do to be just for me. i don’t want to affect anything or anyone ever please

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i don’t like being responsible of like. having an impact on the world i don’t want to. i don’t want to be seen or heard not even through things i make. i the mere thought of being in charge of some.. material result for the world to access fills me with dread. i am selfish and i want everything i do to be just for me. i don’t want to affect anything or anyone ever please

#vent

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It's ok, you've got plenty of time to figure out what you want to do and start doing it, it's not a bad thing to be doing nothing right now. And if your parents say otherwise, they can go kick some rocks. Just focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that you want to do and everything will be ok. You're doing a great job and I believe in you 💙

thank you’re very sweet

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parents finally found out my best friend is going this year to get a masters degree on the subject she loves in ireland while im still. here. doing nothing useful. i was dreading this day.

#vent

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i WILL skip through the ads no matter how “entertaining” they try to make them but i WILL devoutly watch/listen to the entire intro and credits of things every time. those are part of the piece of art and do deserve respect.

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Colored version of GabeNath's art based on the scene from anime "It's Hard to Love an Otaku."

#awesome #yes that’s them

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💫space boy💫

↓redraw of this one from a few years ago↓

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I liked this scene from the anime "It's Hard to Love an Otaku."

I haven't looked yet, but I decided to draw art sketch dedicated to the GabeNath couple.

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like. i know when i was a kid i talked in class while the teacher was speaking so i don’t think these kids are bad people they’re just kids but still. now that ive known what it feels like to be so blatantly ignored i do regret doing it it’s awful.

literally just finished explaining something, go with the kid with their hand raised, who has been turned towards the computer with their hand raised the entire explanation, go to the kid, they ask the. exact same question. that i just. that i literally just finished answering for everyone. and this happens 3 times in a row each single class. i’m sick.

and that’s not even. the damn kids. that when i’m explain it think it’s okay to just interrupt and go “hey are we ever going to do [insert whatever other activity]?” like?? dude??? if you don’t care about this at least shut the hell up and let me speak😭

idk if i’m just in a Mood ™ because of spring (i get angry and sad every spring. way more than usual) but i think im settled that i don’t want to stay an elementary school teacher. im surviving the next three months and that’s it. ugh.

i don’t think i have a stable and high enough self esteem to deal with children. i can’t do this

#vent

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i don’t think i have a stable and high enough self esteem to deal with children. i can’t do this

#vent

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it’s official friends i have a new fictional crush. and yes at the same time it’s the exact same guy as always.

#same character different font #you’ll never guess who it is