#asexual crush

[midnight-love-song]

I’m very asexual but I LOVE romcoms and dating shows and enemies to lovers and tasteful steamy scenes and love poems, but in the same way I LOVE black hair and green eyes and pretty dresses and cute glasses and gold jewellery, they’re beautiful, I just don’t want them for myself.

Normalise aspec people loving traditionally allo culture, just in a different way <3

#aspec positivity #wlw asexual #asexual culture #asexual lesbian #asexuality #ace posititivity #aromantic #aroace #aro/ace #queer positivity #lgbt+ things #queer #asexual crush #asexual dating #romance #romcoms #shipping #ships #dating shows #ace culture #ace identities #sapphic #wlw #lesbian #wlw positivity #asexual post #asexual problems #asexual pride #pride

[geoffthewitch]

Being Ace experiencing a crush for the first time is THE WORST it has turned me into a bitch, last night I dreamt they held my hand and I got so flustered by the action it woke me up, I Hate this

#crushes #asexual #ace #asexual crush

[confusedhomicidalrage]

"oh, you act so romantic with your friends-" SHUT UP! I CAN ACT ALL MUSHY AND SWEET WITH MY FRIENDS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!? COWARD! YOU DON'T SHOWER YOUR FRIENDS IN AFFECTION AND LOVE!? YOU'RE WEAK! WEAK AND PATHETIC!

#aromantic #asexual #Normalize acting loving and affectionate with your friends and not have a crush on them #aroace #aromantism

[minzart]

People who experience romantic and/or sexual attraction are so funny sometimes

They will ask "who's your crush?" And you will answer "i don't have one" and then it starts

"Why are you liying?", "you can trust me", "don't hide", "i don't belive you", "what?! Everyone has one come on", "hmhu it's [name] isn't it?".

in the extreme cases (mine once) they won't let you even leave the conversation and place it started

And so you lie

And when if "confession" comes from "name" and you reject it every single persson who made you lie will be angry.

Honey. Why the fuck are you angry? You decided a lie is more realistic than reality

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #have i ever told you guys the time i was in pre school and a gang of girls blocked me from getting out of the bathroom in school unless #i said a name of a random boy? no. yeah. and i didn't even knew what a fucking crush or even that i was aroace at the time. wild. #funniest thing was the mean girl try to flirt with said boy and confront me when i didn't even noticed. girl. i didn't even knew we had him #in class... literaly what are you trying to prove?

[antikosm]

Aro/Ace Terms Masterlist

Please let me know if I forgot anything

NOTE: There is a distinct difference between someone's personal orientation versus how they feel about sexuality/romanticism as a whole. Someone who's sex/romance repulsed may be in favour of open sexual/romantic expression or even vice versa (shoutout to @sowearecleariamhere for informing me of this!)

Types of attraction

Sexual - I wanna have sex with that

Romantic - I want to date that

Sensual - I want to hug that

Platonic - I want to be friends with that

Platonic crushes do exist. They are called “squishes”. You go through the same process of having a romantic or sexual crush but instead of landing them in bed, you’re on the floor at 2am with pizza rolls, Shrek in the background, talking about eldritch monstrosities (or whatever your shared interest is)

Aesthetic - that looks so heckin’ cool/pretty I love it

Intellectual - the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, i.e. having a conversation, picking their brain, and finding out how they think

Terms describing degree of attraction

Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction

Asexual - lack of sexual attraction

Aplatonic - lack of platonic attraction

Aroace - lack of both sexual and romantic attraction

Demi - attraction only forms once a strong emotional bond has been formed

Grey/gray - rarely/seldom experiences attraction

Allosexual - someone who experiences sexual attraction

I think I’ve also heard/seen it referred to as ‘arosexual’ but that’s honestly a bit confusing

Alloromantic - someone who experiences romantic attraction

I personally shorten both of those to “allo” (pronounced ‘aloe’)

Apothiosexual - sex-repulsed

Apothioromantic - romance-repulsed

Apothiaroace - often shortened to just ‘apothi’. In addition to being aroace, apothis are repulsed by romantic/sexual scenes, items, displays, etc. to varying degrees

Sex-neutral and sex-positive/favourable aces exist as well

Not all of us have the same level of comfort with sexual and romantic activities so please check. I mean that applies to everyone anyway, but please check and don’t assume that just because someone is aro/ace, that doesn’t mean they are sex/romance repulsed

Queerplatonic - Queerplatonic typically refers to a relationship that bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship. A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) often goes beyond what is socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but does not fit the typical notion of a romantic relationship.

Alterous attraction - a type of emotional attraction to someone that isn’t entirely romantic or platonic.

Chastity - actively refraining from sexual activities. This is NOT part of the ace/aro spectrum, though it is a common assumption when someone says they are ace/aro. Thankfully we’re getting a bit more representation in media now so it’s not as common of an assumption as it used to be, but it’s still there, especially in those communities.

An absolute FANTASTIC addition by @heyftinally in case anyone doesn't see the repost

Gonna expand on sex favorable/neutral/repulsed, since this is a masterlist after all: - Sex favorable - regardless of your sexual orientation, you personally want to engage in sexual activity with someone (significant other, one night stand, friends with benefits, etc) - Sex neutral - if you're with someone who wants to engage in sexual activities then you may or may not, depending on a variety of factors, but you have no strong inclinations for or against engaging in sex itself as an activity. Basically it's "alright" Sex repulsed/averse - the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities makes you want to hurl/cry/claw your skin off/spontaneously combust. If someone suggested doing sexual activities together, you would probably vehemently say "No!" before they even finished the question. You would rather do anything else - Sex positive - refers to your attitudes about sex in general. Regardless of where you fall in the above three terms, you recognize that other people want to, and should have the freedom and right to, engage in consensual sexual activities, even if you personally don't like or want those activities. Essentially shorthand for "I respect the right of other adults to have gay sex, have gender-weird sex, have sex with multiple people in and out of monogamous relationships/marriages, and have weird, wild, freaky kinky sex, so long as all participants and consenting adults". You can still personally want zero sex for yourself or think a particular kink is weird/ick, but you can, in tumblr speak, be normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult stuff - Sex negative - conservative purity culture, basically. You think nobody should have sex ever, or at least not until marriage, and when they do it should only be the "right" or "good" kind, as arbitrarily decided by you/society/some collective. You think badly of, look down on, and may even treat badly anyone who doesn't have the "right" kind of sex in your opinion. You are not normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult activities (even though they don't involve you in any way)

A wonderful addition from @overlord-of-chaos Sex aversion is not the same thing as sex repulsed.

If you are sex adverse, you personally have no desire to partake in any of those actions but seeing or knowing other people partake in that doesn't bother you.

Sex repulsion is when you can't stand doing it yourself, seeing/hearing about/knowing that others partake in it, or even just the idea of it.

Microlabels/Terms describing flavour of attraction

Note: -sexual is used for many of these so we don't have to deal with duplicates confusing things. All of these prefixes can be used with -romantic, -sexual, -platonic, and I imagine -alterous as well

Abrosexual - orientation fluctuates between a variety of orientations

Aceflux - similar to abrosexual, but orientation is contained to asexual spectrum

Acespike - someone who is asexual but may experience intense, brief, and random bouts of sexual attraction

Aegosexual - disconnect between oneself and the target of arousal

Amicusromantic/sexual - only experiences romantic attraction to those who they have formed a platonic relationship with (subset of demi)

Angled aroace - the same as oriented, but for those who are demi, grey, flux, etc.

Anthrosexual - someone who is attracted to humans and alterhumans regardless of gender identity/expression

Bellussexual - has interest in the aesthetic/aspects/certain sexual actions, but does not experience sexual attraction or want a sexual relationship

Caedsexual - previously allo, but now ace due to past trauma

Cupiosexual - wanting a sexual relationship but not experiencing sexual attraction

Finsexual/gynesexual - attraction to femininity

Fraysexual - opposite of demi. Attraction dissipates once an emotional connection has been formed

Linsexual - attraction to androgyny

Lithosexual - experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated

Loveless Romantic/Lovelessromantic - those who cannot feel love or feel disconnected from love but can feel romantic attraction/don't feel disconnected from the concept of romance

Minsexual/androsexual - attraction to masculinity

Orchid - the opposite of cupio; experiences ____ attraction but has no desire for a relationship of that type

Placiosexual - not wanting to be on the receiving end of sexual activities but wishing to perform them on others

Quiosexual - unable to distinguish between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction

Qui(r)oromantic - inability to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction

Reciprosexual - not experiencing sexual attraction towards someone until you discover they experience sexual attraction towards you

Requiessexual - similar to caedsexual, but rather than trauma, ace identity originates from a state of emotional exhaustion, usually from a past sexual experience

Oriented aroace -  an aromantic asexual (aroace) individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction, that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation. (i.e. gay aroace, bi aroace)

Angled aroace - someone who is on the aroace spectrum (grey, demi, fray, etc) who experiences a type of attraction significant enough to stand alongside their aroace orientation

Examples of mixed orientations

Heteroromantic asexual biplatonic

Poly greyromantic pansexual

Apothi abroplatonic

Placiosexual aromantic finplatonic

Aroace cupioplatonic

Pan lithioromantic

Fraysexual biromantic aplatonic

You can get WAY more specific than what these cover, but just to give a general idea

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship. The term was coined by Elizabeth Brake, in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law (2011).

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #microlabels #apothi #litho #cupio #demi #recipro #aego #autochorissexual #greyromantic #greysexual #platonic intimacy #platonic crush #squish #alterous attraction #amatonormativity #anthrosexual #ace spectrum #aro spectrum #acespec #arospec

[cherrytea556]

Heteronormativity and Amatonormativity go hand in hand. You give the opposite sex one compliment then somehow people think you have a crush on them. Talk about complimentless ig.

#aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace #aromantic asexual #aro struggles #ace struggles #aroace stuggles #I called one guy pretty and people assumed i had a crush on him #complimented him on his haircut today iswtg if this repeats again #amatonormativity #heteronormativity

[prototypesteve]

Asexual Crush: A Short Film

Transcript:

So, thinking about it, in retrospect. I’ve experienced lots of crushes.

[Air piston crushes an aluminum Coke Zero can, and then pushes the flattened can into a recycling bin.]

What I don’t get is how that’s supposed to “lead to a relationship”.

#asexual #aromantic #aspec #aroace #aromantic asexual #asexuality #crushes

[cowboylikeghost]

As a neurodivergent arospec you're either very oblivious to people having crushes on you or are cursed with the hyper awareness to people liking you in a way you DON'T want them too

#aromantic #I had a fixation on crushes as a kid #like not my crushes #because i didn't have any #but on crushes as a concept #i used to look at all these “how to know if a boy like you” shit #and was obsess with it #so now every time someone has a crush on me i immedialty notice and hate it #even if it's flattering #i've to an age where people actually act on these feelings and i don't like it at all 🙂 #asexual #ace #aroace #aro #asexuality #aromantism #queer

[piratedog64]

dude having a platonic crush on someone is so weird, cause you wanna be around them and talk to them all the time, you always think about them, and you constantly wanna hug them and hold hands (if you like physical touch) with them but the thought of being romantic in any way with them is just extremely uncomfortable

#arospec #aspec #asexual #aromantic #lgbtq #lgbtqia #demiromantic #aroflux #arofluid #aroace #aromantism #asexuality #platonic crush #queer #lgbt pride #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity

[bored-boring-and-tired]

me currently:

“i want people to have crushes on me so badly because i thrive on external validation and im super insecure so i really really want people to have crushes on me”

also me, being aroace and sex/romance-repulsed (if someone has a crush on me):

“pleasepleasepleaseplease nobody have a crush on me and ESPECIALLY DONT TELL ME because then i have to reject you and i hate rejecting people and then i’ll probably have to come out to avoid hurting anyone because i overthink everything ahahahha”

#i hope someone finds this relatable (aka hopefully it isnt just me but i also hope other people don’t have to go through internal conflict) #because this is me all the time #aroace #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aromantic asexual #asexual aromantic #aromanticism #asexuality #crushes #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtqplus #lgbtqia+ #rare times when astra actually tags things?? whaaaaat?? 😦

[thetisming]

"wow you must be so focused on school without crushes" incorrect! instead i am thinking about my special interest.

#i may not have a crush but i sure am in love with something (& Juliet) #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace #autistic #adhd #special interest

[midnight-love-song]

Think my kink is people softly saying “I know” when I tell them something scary

#omg tell me you know when I tell you how I feel #fucken reassure me #be soft with me #I have anxiety ok #asexual crush #sapphic asexual #romantic asexual #romance #love #soft #soft aesthetic #romantic #lesbian #wlw #sapphic #neurodivergent sapphic #asexual lesbian #lesbian romance #lesbian aesthetic #aesthetic #cottagecore #gentleness #soft lesbian #lgbt #lgbt+ things #lgbt community #lesbian culture #softcore #gay #wlw asexual

[midnight-soulless-system]

Just told my friend we had a squish on her, but it wasn't a crush because we're aroace and she was like. "Cool, and same on both fronts"

I'm so fucking happy y'all, is this what the allos feel when someone else reciprocates a crush? Cause this is fucking awesome.

#aroace #squishes #aromantic crush #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #actually aroace #also i am now in a t4t relationship because she's a demigirl and we're transmasc #and crip4crip #so fuck yeah #soulless speaks #soulless lore

[irate-iguana]

Okay I've calmed down enough to maybe put this into words.

Fourteen's ending was so validating to me as an aroace person, specifically because they chose platonic love. Often, QPRs are treated as a last resort, a poor consolation prize for people who can't have romantic partnerships. But Donna has a husband, and while I firmly believe the Doctor is on the ace spectrum, the Newton conversation implies that Fourteen isn't aroace. Despite the fact that he could be in a romantic relationship, the Doctor chooses a platonic partnership. And Donna gets to have both! What's more, her husband and her best friend get along, they aren't jealous or competing for her attention. It's so rare for media to treat platonic relationships as equally valuable and desirable as romantic/sexual ones, and it gave me so much hope for my future.

#yes there are different ways to interpret the newton conversation and my aroace ass calls people hot all the time #but i think the exchange was intended to indicate a crush #and the tenth doctor definitely experienced romantic attraction #doctor who #dw #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #doctor donna #fourteenth doctor #the doctor #donna noble #the giggle #whoniverse #original post #esmer says stuff #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbtq #sorry for all the tags my blog is over organized to a fault and if i skip some of these i will perish

[timeladix]

Friends with benefits but the benefit is giving each other societally unacceptable long hugs and generally being more touchy while literally being friends and not actually a couple

#the person i had a crush on told me that she already knew i liked her like that bc of how long i used to hug her.. and like... #No???? #i want long hungs with most of my frinds?? i just don't feel safe enough?? like what if it gets misinterpreted?? exactly like she did?? #i hate it here #i just wanna hug and hold hands and it to not be deemed as flirting or 'giving signals' or any other bulshit #i'm tired and i want a hug #mine #personal stuff #ish #queer stuff #?? #hugs #friendship stuff #autistic #actually autistic #aromantic #asexual #aroace #and it doesn't apply only to us aroace spec people but to most people like I M SURE OTHERS STRUGGLE WITH THIS TOO #mental health

[aromantic-diaries]

Idk if I've said this before but I feel like the bi to aro/ace pipeline wouldn't be half as common as it is if asexuality and aromanticism weren't forgotten all the time when it comes to discussing sexuality. I think it's funny to joke about it and seeing how it's something that so many people experience has definetly been helpful in making me feel less alone but sometimes I think about how I would have known I was aro and ace much sooner if I knew more about these identities like I did about bisexuality

#aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #of course i won't put all the blame on other people cause a lot of it was me just refusing to admit it #but then again my own denial was a result of being made to feel like it would make me incomplete #i probably would have known i was aro much sooner if someone told me it was a thing before i got amatonormativity brain poison #i knew it was unusual when everyone else seemed to have had at least one crush and i didn't