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bored-mumma · 3 years

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Tom Holland Fluff Alphabet

MASTERLIST

A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?

Personality wise, Tom loves your ability to laugh in most situations. No matter how stressed he is, you easily bring a smile to his face.

Physically, he finds your looks breath taking. Your a priceless work of art to him.

B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

Yes, Tom is almost obsessed with the idea of having a family with you. He’s doing it all right. Got a house with a few spare bedrooms, proposed, got married, and now is waiting for the day you finally show him the positive test. It’s the life he’s always dreamt of.

C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?

Wrapped around you. Usually his arms are held around your waist, head resting on your chest and his legs tangled with yours too. He wants to feel your warmth and to just relax after a hard day.

D = Dates. What are dates with them like?

Not usually traditional ones. Instead of fancy restaurants, you can’t beat a late night drive to the beach, sitting in the car with a take away and singing very loudly and very badly to some love songs. Having fun is the most important part of your date nights.

E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my best friend.

F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?

You couldn’t see the floor from the amount of the snacks laid on it , you and Tom both wearing your comfiest pyjamas and snuggled up beneath some duvets. There was a raging storm outside so instead of a nice meal out, Tom ordered so much stuff to eat and some movies. He rested his head on your lap, your finger nails gently dragging along his skin. He wasn’t watching the movie though. Instead his eyes kept drifting up to you, realising just how much he has fallen in love with you.

G = Gentle. Are they gentle? If so, how?

Very. In every way. He’ll hold you gently, he’ll comfort you gently. Even if you argue, he’ll still talk in a calm voice. You’ve never even heard him raise his voice let alone yell properly - especially at you. He’s definitely your gentle giant.

H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?

I = Impression. First impression/s?

Tom thought you were hilarious. In you walked, a large smile on your face and making everyone happy. You loved to make others happy and Tom was no exception. He introduced himself and the two of you hit it off almost immediately. It didn’t take long for him to ask you out - in fact he did so just three days later.

J- Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?

you tend to pull pranks on other people as a pair. He’ll randomly text you throughout the day saying he’s bored and the two of you will discuss how to pull a couple pranks on his co-workers.

K = Kiss. How do they kiss?

Pretty gently. He puts his forehead on yours, holding your hands. He slowly leans in and presses his lips against yours, moving in sync. Although, of course, there are other times when its more feral. He’ll pull you towards him, claiming your lips as his own as his hands tangle in your hair.

L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Tom does. He was so excited to say it, he was acting like an over-energetic puppy! He made you your favourite breakfast one morning, along with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Taking it up to you, you sat in the bed together and before you even had a chance to say thank you, Tom blurted “A beautiful breakfast for the beautiful woman i love.”

M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?

When you went to meet his family. He is really close with them all, and when you came in and just instantly clicked with everyone, Tom couldn’t help but sit back with a smile on his face. When everyone sat for dinner, Tom barely got a word in edge ways since his family was just adoring you and wanted to keep the conversation going.

N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

You. Get. Everything. And I mean everything. When looking at buying your first house together, you had to get one with an extra bedroom just to store all the stuff he got you. Usually some random stuff he sees in shops that reminds him of you but it also includes stunning accessories, clothes, vintage books, literally everything

P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?

“babe” or “love”.

Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?

Tom loves to sow! It takes his mind of his hectic life just for a little while. A wall in the spare bedroom is just covered in his designs. Ones he’s most proud of but doesn’t want them hanging in the lounge. It’s also great for you. Rip in your favourite top? No problem, Tom can fix it.

R = Rainy Day

Board games! All and any! Except for monopoly, as experience taught you, that game brings out both your extreme competitive side.

S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?

Tom is very good at talking about his feelings with you. If he’s down, he knows your the best shoulder to cry on and vice versa. He’ll always be there for you too. You may not be able to give him advice or to really help him out but just to have someone to hold, to cry to and talk to makes him feel safe.

T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?

He loves a good gossip. Want to tell him a story about your co-workers having an affair? He’s all ears, throwing in a few gasps and questions too. He’s just nosy but so are you! So a perfect match.

U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?

A warm, deep bubble bath with some music playing softly, a good book and some snacks. It’s so relaxing there’s been a few times you’ve had to walk in the bathroom and wake him up from a nap.

V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off?

He dances. All. The. Time. Either with you or just around you, he loves to dance. And you can’t deny, he’s got the moves!

W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?

Coming home from a lunch date with some friends, you were looking forward to just relaxing at home since it was Toms night to cook. However, when you opened the front door, your eyes landed on the most beautiful sight. Your home was covered in flowers, some candles and a red carpet rolled down the middle. Except there was no sight of your partner. Calling out to him, you walked farther into the room when Tessa, your guys dog, ran out and down the red carpet, a little note wrapped around her collar. As you gave her a quick scratch behind the ears, you read the words “Will you marry me?”

“What do you say?” You spin as you hear Tom speak from behind you, down on one knee and holding a stunning ring.

X = Xylophone. What’s their song?

Lady in red

Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the straw to my berry

Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?

Tom is very content with Tessa. Both of you love the staffy to pieces! But he’s very open at the idea of more dogs in the future.

#tom holland #imagine tom holland #tom holland imagine #spider-man #imagine spider-man #tom holland alphabet #tom holland fluff #bored-mumma #tom holland fan fiction

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forasecondtherewedwon · 4 years

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10. You confessed your feelings and we’re about to kiss but we get interrupted

36. Friends with benefits and both people catching feelings

Wavetide

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: E (we’ll be working up to it) Chapter: 1/7

Summary:

She never tells anyone. Well, she admitted it to Ned once because he caught her staring at Peter in a way that was too difficult to deny, but she’s never confessed to the fact that her love for their friend isn’t a solitary tsunami of longing; it sweeps in and out in waves.

Michelle Jones’s life is a world-record attempt at most times falling in love with the same person. She’s loved Peter Parker on-and-off dozens of times since they were 10, and they’re only 12 now, so it’s almost a weekly thing. He’ll make her laugh right when they’re coming in from recess and she’ll love him. He’ll pick her for his squad when they’re doing wind sprints in gym and he’s her thoughtless best friend again. She never tells anyone. Well, she admitted it to Ned once because he caught her staring at Peter in a way that was too difficult to deny, but she’s never confessed to the fact that her love for their friend isn’t a solitary tsunami of longing; it sweeps in and out in waves.

When they wake up, Peter will be 13. A teenager. They’re camped out in the Leedses’ living room in anticipation of the big event. His aunt and uncle are going to host the actual party at their apartment tomorrow, with cake and balloons and everything, but tonight, the three friends have Ned’s pup tent set up indoors (was supposed to be outdoors, but it’s raining). The scenario feels strangely like a farewell to their mutual childhood and Michelle’s having a hard time falling asleep.

Ned’s been asleep for half an hour, but she doesn’t realize Peter hasn’t joined him until she rolls over on the air mattress and he turns his head to look at her. Ned’s on the far end; they always banish him to the edge for snoring. Peter’s hair shushes against the cotton pillowcase as he adjusts, still watching her.

“Do you think it’s after midnight?” he whispers.

“Maybe. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

He smiles at her and Michelle draws her knees up to her chest inside her sleeping bag, hugging them in place. She’s grateful that the three of them are still allowed to do this, have sleepovers in confined spaces and all sleep on the same air mattress.

Peter garbles something through a large yawn and she snickers, shuffling closer. The confusing tug of her reluctance to grow up eases when she concentrates on him.

“What?” she asks.

“I wonder if it’s still raining,” he repeats.

“We could go see?”

Ned’s house after dark is weighted by dense silence. Michelle doesn’t have to ask if Peter feels it too, because they’ve discussed it on other occasions when Ned was the first to conk out for the night. The Leedses’ home is a fascinating place for two kids who’ve grown up in apartments. The lowness of every window looking out on the ground floor, the quiet of no neighbours on the other side of the wall. It’s almost creepy.

They shift their weight carefully, wriggling off the air mattress like commandos crawling under barbed wire, trying not to jostle Ned in his slumber.

“Bouncy castle,” Peter hisses at her and pumps his arms against the mattress to make them both sway on their hands and knees.

“Stop it,” she says, giggling as her eyes flick to Ned. It’s ok, he’s still asleep.

With a rub of nylon, they slither out of the tent. Peter darts his arm back in to snatch his sleeping bag. Michelle glances sideways to see how he’s bundled about half of it into his arms as they pad across the carpet. Ned’s mom drew the blinds and Michelle shuffles over to part them, but Peter pulls her wrist and they go to the back door instead. With a flip of the lock, he slides the glass door open, letting the sound of chittering insects pour through the screen. The rain’s done. There’s a big oak in the yard and Michelle can see the bright lightbulb curve of the moon above its crown before she and Peter sit cross-legged on the floor.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“No.”

But it’s nice when Peter unzips his sleeping bag all the way so they can pull it around their shoulders like two kings with one luxurious cape. Michelle grips the corner over her left shoulder, Peter over his right. Even a year ago, this might’ve been the moment where she confessed to how tired she was and felt him gather her close, making sure the sleeping bag tucked around to cover her knees. Tonight, she has a soft white bra under her pajama top because she’s too aware of her friends being boys to take it off, even to sleep. Under that, she has a heart that gushes and swells with this feeling she gets whenever she sneaks a look at her friend’s sleepy face, the hair that tumbles onto his forehead and curls up above his ears.

“Fireflies,” Peter points out, scratching his finger against the screen when he gestures too fast and misjudges the distance. He’s right. They’re blinking yellow all over Ned’s yard.

“Yeah.”

“You think they’re lucky?”

“Not that lucky. They only live for two months. I read that,” she says. There’s a mosquito bite on the back of her arm that makes her currently unsympathetic towards bugs.

“But what if I want to make a wish on them?”

“On a firefly that’s going to die in two months? Why would you?”

“Lit birthday candles last way shorter than that,” he counters, “and we make wishes on them.”

“Well, that’s just because men are obsessed with demonstrating their dominance over fire. Man master of fire!” Michelle elucidates in a Neanderthal grunt.

“That’s not really why we blow out candles, is it?” Peter asks. She shrugs next to him. “It can’t be,” he says with more certainty. She doesn’t respond. “Still, they’re pretty.”

Michelle looks to see him watching the fireflies, eyes darting to each flare of light in turn. She’s on the dock of her childhood and she can spot the next wave rolling in.

“What would you wish for?” she asks.

Peter scoffs and twists a little so he can focus on her.

“I can’t tell you.”

“You can as practice. The wish only doesn’t come true if you talk about it after you blow out your candles. Allegedly,” Michelle adds, because they aren’t children anymore and she, for one, will not be taken in by nonsense on the arcaneness of birthday wishes.

“A real lightsaber.”

“That’s dumb.”

“It’s not your wish!” he says.

“No kidding.”

He shrugs off her sarcasm.

“I don’t really want anything.”

“Don’t pout just because you can’t be a Gemini.”

“Jedi.”

Oh, she knows what they’re called. She’s employed this particular taunt many, many times.

“Pick something,” Michelle urges.

“I do, uh…”

Peter drops his gaze and plays with the string dangling from the edge of the sleeping bag. This is suspicious behaviour. She studies him, attempting to recall the information on reading body language she’s picked up from true-crime books and fake-crime TV shows. Her parents don’t like her reading or watching that stuff ‘at her age,’ but she’s a firm believer in a running start to teenage rebellion.

A warm breeze rustles the oak’s green leaves and washes over their faces.

“I do want one thing,” he mumbles. It’s barely spoken―the gentle wind is making more noise.

There’s something off and it makes Michelle nervous. Everything inside her, apart from her brain, thinks it knows where this is going when Peter licks his lips and flexes his hands briefly like he does when he’s making a decision. She’s waited for this. She’s scared of this. How it’ll change them. She almost wants to go back to five minutes ago, when they were side by side in the tent with nothing to make them feel older except her feet hanging off the end of the air mattress when she scrunched down to get her head aligned with Peter’s so they could talk softly in the dark. Michelle asks her best friend what it is he wants, but only in her head.

“I want to kiss you,” he says, looking at her.

“Why?” she blurts.

“I just do.”

Her heart’s galloping. The wave’s about to crash.

“I guess it makes sense,” Michelle bluffs. Her whole body feels numb with the anticipation.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll be starting high school in a year and people are going to start getting together so I guess I get why you don’t want to be left behind or whatever.”

Peter faces forward again and she can see him well enough to watch his throat jerk as he swallows.

“MJ, that’s not why.”

“Sure it is. You want practice.”

“It’s not like that,” he says and she’d bet he heard that somewhere, all the old movies he watches, because it sounds too grown up for her Peter.

“Do it then.”

His head snaps up and he looks at her.

“What?”

“Do it. Kiss me.”

She tries to square her shoulders and be the self he knows her to be. The Michelle who steps between bullies and her boys. The Michelle who isn’t scared to hold a bug or go to the section of the Halloween store with the really disturbing rubber masks that have, like, eyeballs dangling out of their sockets.

“You want me to?”

“Yeah, I want to see if you’re good at it,” she says toughly, chin up in a challenge.

“You’ll probably be good at it,” Peter mumbles under his breath as he scoots to face her instead of the door. Michelle mirrors him.

As he leans towards her, she can feel herself inside the wave―water all around and her twirling in a complicated pattern as it decides what to do with her. Not wanting Peter to get all the credit for going through with this, Michelle bends in his direction. Their knees make contact and she glances down at where her best friend’s shins cross. She sees fine brown leg hair, then squeezes her eyes shut as she tilts her face up, scared of however he appears in this moment. She’s surprised that she doesn’t flinch when his fingertips touch her cheek. He exhales in a soft puff, close.

“I really like you,” he murmurs.

Michelle’s underwater and can’t speak.

And then, “COOKIE!” someone yells in the night. A dog yaps sharply in response.

Michelle and Peter spring apart at the sound of one of Ned’s neighbours. Are they going to persevere? Get back in kissing distance and find out if they have some kind of spark that’ll tell them they’re meant to be more than friends? That’s how it seems to work in the old movies she watches and doesn’t tell the boys about. She’s not sure yet where rom-coms fit in the image of herself she’s only beginning to sketch, so she keeps them quiet.

Because she’d rather make a wrong action that’s all her own than react to whatever Peter decides to do, Michelle scrambles swiftly to her feet.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she says. It seems like the least romantic thing she can say. Peter stands too, eyes searching hers uncomfortably. The shared sleeping bag is neglected at their feet.

She strides off and he doesn’t try to grab her to stop her. She’s not sure what she’d do if he did. The bathroom’s down the hall and when she looks back, she sees him in his t-shirt and pajama shorts, scooping up the sleeping bag. A distinct longing to swim out to him surges inside her, but the wave of more-than-a-friendship-kind-of-love flings her away and she faceplants on the beach of Unrequited Crushes. Maybe… soon… they can still try? Because they’re both too embarrassed tonight when she eventually returns to the tent. And she acts like nothing happened during his birthday party. When his uncle dies suddenly and terribly, she can’t put any kind of expectation on Peter for them to be anything but friends. He needs her as a friend. The memory of him standing at the back door with his arms full of sleeping bag lingers. In Michelle’s mind, she turns away from the ocean. If she doesn’t look, she can’t see the wave.

To be continued!

#my writing #Wavetide #spideychelle #spideychelle fic #spideychelle fanfiction #peter parker #peter x mj #peter x michelle #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

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and though love sometimes hurts, I still put you first - ordinary people by john legend for ethan and mc, thanks

thanks so much for the request!

Decisions

Part 1

Word Count: 1.9k Warning: angst Summary: This takes place somewhere after OH2 where Ethan and MC started dating.

A/N: I wasn’t going to do a part two to Was It but after every comment was asking for one I couldn’t ignore y’all.

not the best thing i’ve written but thankful to be coming out of my writers block.

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Becca didn’t go to work for her next three shifts, taking personal time and swapping clinic hours with her roommates for next week. She just couldn’t bring herself to set foot into the hospital, not yet anyway. Instead, she sat in her room wallowing in her decision.

It was the right thing to do, she convinced herself.

There was so much heartbreak that came with loving Ethan Ramsey - too much heartbreak for one lifetime. Becca was deftly afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle the next blow - the next time her little slice of heaven was struck down to another circle of hell.

Ethan Ramsey was a man that could never settle down. His career and ethics, along with everything he’s ever told her, made that perfectly clear. It was better for her to end this before he left her high and dry once again. What even would a life be with an emotionally unavailable attending?

Her thoughts reeled, over and over again trying to find salvation in her decision.

Was she really in love with Ethan or was it a continued stage of infatuation for Dr. Ramsey, her medical hero? When did their honeymoon stage end, and when was she left with this sinking feeling of no return in the pit of her stomach?

Her mind replayed all of the moments where they had the privilege of just being Ethan and Becca - just people, not colleagues. All those sweet hours they spent as friends and lovers. All those wonderful moments that gave her a false sense of futuristic hope.

They both had a lot of room for growth. Ethan had a decade longer to prepare himself - to focus on his career and get ready for love and the long term commitment that comes with it. But Becca’s still only 27. She has a bright career ahead of her - something Ethan has always been trying to protect. And although she’d never admit it, she was thankful for it. He gave her everything she could possibly need so she can achieve her dreams. What if they were both mistaken? What if, deep down, her dreams all led to a path with a family - a few little feet running around the grassy backyard by the bay she’d save up for. Something Ethan was adamant he could never settle down for, no matter how much he would like to want to. It was another reason to go.

For her own sanity Becca needed to walk away.

She spent her whole life waiting for a love as great as Ethan. She never thought it was possible to be so completely obsessed and content in the arms of one person. How one person's presence could soothe all the current issues she’d be facing. She kept trying to convince herself she’d find a better match - someone with Ethan’s wit and intellect, his attractive features and banter. Someone who’s fingers fit just a bit better between her own and wanted the same dream as she.

In those days she wanted to call him and take everything back. But this wasn’t a movie. There was no fairytale ending, against her better judgment she knew that. Becca was confused and didn’t know what to do - about her heart or about work. How was she meant to work closely every single day for the next few years with the man whose heart she just broke?

God this hurts.

Is love supposed to hurt this much?

Ethan Ramsey was considered a god among doctors and aspiring medical professionals. His quick intellect and curt tendencies were admired much to his disapproval. The Ethan Ramsey did not believe in idolatry, especially among physicians. Ethan was just an ordinary person, sitting at his desk completely gobsmacked.

The event from the other night is still very much ingrained in his brain. He’d played those last few days over and over again, dissecting every little detail for any sign of dissatisfaction. Maybe if he could pin-point the moment her mind changed he’d be able to salvage their relationship. He needed to salvage their relationship for his own sanity.

They didn’t argue. They never really argued. Sure they had spats and quarrels but never over anything larger than life. They left as quickly as they started, with one of them admitting their wrong - usually Ethan. How was he meant to apologize if he didn’t know what he did to offend her so deeply?

Ethan sat at his desk a few streets away from the woman of his dreams and so unsure of what to do. His gut feeling was to flee - to accept a position elsewhere and let her have Edenbrook. These days Edenbrook needed Dr. Lao more than him. He has done all he could and it’s her turn to shine. But Naveen, he couldn’t leave Naveen. And deep down he knew Edenbrook was his home, more so than any other physical location has ever been. Aside from Rebecca. Rebecca has always been home.

What was Ethan supposed to do about their professional relationship now? He spent so long dreading the implications of having a relationship that he never thought to think about what would become if it had ended.

With a heavy heart and a sigh, he pulled the small rectangular black box out of his desk drawer, turning it over in his hands.

Where did I go wrong?

He always has and always will put Dr. Rebecca Lao first. So where does that leave Ethan now?

It was so quiet in the Diagnostics office between the still air and Ethan’s deprecating internal monologue that they didn’t notice one another. Becca gingerly entered the office, not noticing him sitting at the desk and Ethan still too transfixed by the box in his hand.

As if on cue, their cheeks naturally began to flush with heat before lifting their heads to let their eyes meet. Dark surprised brown meeting with deeply conflicted blue.

“I’m sorry,” they said in breathless unison.

Becca quickly added, “I didn’t think you’d be here. It’s your day off.” She stood up taller, mustering up all the courage she had left, and let the glass door slip from her fingers and close behind her.

Ethan tried to tear his eyes away from her but was frozen in place. He didn’t anticipate seeing her, not until he solved the case of her misery. Words fell off his tongue in an indifferent response, “A lot of work to do, I’ve been down a team member.”

She stood there awkwardly, wringing her fingers.

“Can I help you with anything?” he added when she didn’t advance.

“I was just coming to grab the new case file. Hirata said it was on your desk.”

He grabbed the lonely file from the edge of his desk and stood, carefully making his way over to her. Becca met him halfway, hesitantly. She held her hand out to snatch the hefty document but he pulled it up, using his height to keep it out of reach.

“Can we talk?”

“I don-”

He cut her off, “What happened?” A bated pause. Becca bit her lip, anticipating his next words. They were the words she herself couldn’t fully comprehend. “Why did you leave?”

“Ethan… don’t,” she warned, crossing her arms over her chest. The file now a distant memory. Ethan was within range she could feel the warmth radiating off of him even if he was three feet away. His gravitational pull was and will always be so strong.

Ethan’s bloodshot eyes bore her down, “Tell me. You owe me an explanation.”

Her eyes were fixated on the Hopkins Diploma on the wall behind him. “I told you,” she shrugged. “I can’t trust you not to break my heart - not again.”

He took in the feisty woman before him. Her scrubs hung off her body and the ever-present purple bags under her eyes certainly matched his own. Her large brown eyes were showing the after effects of days of tears. Ethan reached out for her with his free hand. He hated seeing her like this.

His hand ghosted her own. “Come back to me, Rookie,” he implored in the softest voice one would never have imagined came from the stern doctor. “We’ll make this work.”

She let his hand linger before pulling hers back tightly close to her body.

Becca watched as Ethan’s face fell. Any ounce of form he wanted to keep completely vanishing. Sadness coated his features and Ethan Ramsey never looked more human. It pained her to see him so vulnerable, though not enough to abandon her decision.

“I’ve heard that one before…” Becca muttered.

“I promise. I’ll do better.”

With a long sigh of the air she did know she was holding in since he tried to take her hand she told him curtly, “I’ve given you so many chances, E. You keep pushing me away and I can’t keep crawling back.” Finally her eyes met with his once more. “I deserve better.”

Without a moment's hesitation he agreed, “I know. You deserve so much more than me but…” He dropped the file to the floor with a thump and a scatter. His hands needed to be on her, to make her understand. But he couldn’t just grab her that would be wrong, he needed her permission. Instead he balled his fists as tightly as possible. “But you can’t help who you love.”

There those words were again. That four letter word she had waited so long to hear but he’d never vocalized in the right of circumstances. “And, as I’ve learned, though love sometimes hurts, I still and will always put you first.” His feet carried him towards her on their own volition. Ethan made his decision then and there; if Becca couldn’t take him back then Edenbrook wasn’t big enough for the both of them. “You can shine brighter if I step down.”

“Step down?” Becca’s jaw dropped. “What’re you talking about?”

A sad, ghostly smirk appeared on his supple lips, “It’s going to take some time to get over you. I’ll consult somewhere else for a while.”

There he was, leaving again. His selfish selflessness would be the death of her. But this time she didn't feel sad or abandoned, Becca felt empowered. She knew.

“Stay,” she told him. “We can work together.”

He wanted to ask her to clarify, but she continued on.

“What’s that?” she looked over him to the black box sitting on his desk.

“It’s nothing.”

Becca raised an eyebrow, “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

Ethan had no idea which way to go - if he withheld he just might always regret never asking her, if he told her he didn’t think he’d be able to handle the rejection of a second chance.

He didn’t get the chance to ask. In true Becca fashion she went ahead and opened the box anyway. Her fingers brushed over the silver, trying to accept if this was a fantasy she conjured in a sleep-deprived state or the reality she had been manifesting for months. In fact it was a declaration straight from heaven - her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, anxiety setting in. She made a terrible miscalculation.

“Is this…?”

He nodded.

“We both made mistakes.” He crossed the distance between them, their bodies only inches from one another and Becca’s back pressed into his desk. “I love you. More than scientifically possible.” he declared and a crack of smile broke through their hesitant expressions. Ethan removed the small bit of shiny silver out of it’s makeshift container still held tightly in her hands, holding it delicately between his fingers Ethan asked,

“Move in with me?”

Becca’s eyes glowed, every doubt she ever had seemingly vanished all over again.

“Yes.”

________________________________________

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamreads @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie @interobanginyourmom @queencarb @perriewinklenerdie @rookiefromedenbrook @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations @heauxplesslydevoted @schnitzelbutterfingers @purpledragonturtles @ramseyandrys @ermidc @mrsdrakewalkerblog @doilooklikeiknow @overwhelminglyaquarius @drethanramslay @edgiestwinter @rookieoh @lucy-268 @mvalentine @lilyvalentine

A/N: if it’s not obvious the silver is a key not a ring 👀

#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #choices oph2 #oph #oph ff #ff #ohsy #requests #choices fanfic

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thebeltanequeen · 3 years

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The (Blurred? Nonexistent? Inconsequential?) Line Between Canon and Fanon: An Impromtu Essay by Me

I’m currently have an existential crisis. An absolute, balls to the walls, pull my hair out, stare at the walls wondering what the meaning of existence is, kind of existential crisis. Why, you may ask? Because the older I have gotten, the more Fanfiction I have read. That’s normal. Millions of other people read fanfic like me. Well, in the past few years, I have also realized that the more fanfiction I have read, the less shits I give about the actual canon of the media I love. I care less and less about what “actually” happened, and delve into fanon instead. It’s as if the two have SWITCHED ROLES in my brain. The canon is the lie, and the fanon is the truth. This used to not be the case though, so how did we get here? And why… why is this realization sending me into an absolute spiral of insanity? Why do I feel like I have been sucker punched in the jaw? Let me explain.

I’ve been reading and dabbling in writing my own fanfiction for over twelve years. It used to be an escape, a way to further delve into my latest obsessions and become consumed by them. I have this annoying habit of also picking ships that do NOT become endgame, so I’ve always sought out fanfiction as a balm for my shipper’s soul as well. I still read fanfiction as if my life depends on it… but now it’s at the expense of reading new books. Watching new media. When I do eventually dip my toes into a new fandom, I either reject it quickly or become consumed again and make a grab for fanfiction… but in the past few years, something in not only me, but in fandoms in general has shifted.

The difference between me now, and me back then is this… I used to uphold the canon as sacred. Untouchable. Set in stone. The only credible source for the media I consume. All of the fanfiction I read was just beautiful window dressing. A lovely past time to further increase my dopamine intake.

This is no longer the case.

Now, when I read and write fanfiction, it’s as if it is an act of protest. I am actively seeking to reform the narrative. It’s to “take back” the story, the characters, EVERYTHING, for myself. To make it anew. To make it perfect. I’m not alone either. I see you. I see all of you. Now more than ever, I see more and more of us doing this exact same thing.

THIS is why I am having an existential crisis. I have just realized that I will no longer be content with the canon. Ever. Even the canon of my favorite media. It’s not enough. It’s no longer enough. It won’t ever be enough again. Why? Because there will always be places where the canon is falliable. The authors of the canon, are falliable. As an author myself, this is at once an alarming yet powerful realization.

I went to college for creative writing. At the beginning of my academic career, I thought of fanfiction as a beautiful fairytale world. It was glorious, but it was other. Separate. Not as credible as canon. Had I read fanfiction better than the media it was based on before I entered college? Absolutely, but in my head it still didn’t matter because the canon was the word. The canon was the law. As a writer, I held the power of the author (and by extension the power of myself) as sacred. By the end of college, that began to change.

The more I was taught about writing, the more I came to realize that sometimes, authors are just straight up WRONG. Sometimes, there’s soooooo much potential… AND THEY JUST FUCK IT UP!!!!!!! The bones are incredible, but the canon is weak, the logic is lacking, the story makes no sense, the characters don’t reach their full potential and you know what? I’m tired. I’m tired of it. This is why fanon is canon’s salvation. Fanon makes canon look pathetic. But… if I accept the fanon as the reality, and make the canon the lie, does that still make it fanon? No. I don’t think it does. I think fanon has become something other. Something greater.

I have become disillusion by “published” or “credible” books. 95% of the novels I actually buy at the store today are garbage. Trash. Half written nonsense that only serves the purpose of paying people. I’m TIRED OF IT. I’ve become disillusioned by the “power” of the author. I have become disillusioned by canon. FUCK canon, quite frankly. Rip it apart. Dissect it. Take out it’s beating heart and transplant it into a new body. Give it the soul that the narrative was begging for. REVIVE IT. LET YOUR OWN IMAGINATION MAKE IT ANEW. Characters mean too much to people. Fiction means too much to people. Stories mean too much to people for anything less. Only then will you or I be satisfied.

Now, even an impromptu, unedited, gibberish essay is not complete without examples. I’ll start with one that you probably thought of while reading this. Game of Thrones. I think that two years ago, the ending of the most influential show of the entire decade, is where my subconscious began to shift in this direction. Now, I doubt my opionions about GoT are the same as yours, but you know what? It DOESN’T MATTER because FANON CAN FIX THE CANON. The stories that meant so much to millions can be fixed by accepting the fact that THE CANON ISN’T THE LAW! IT FUCKED UP!!!! CANON DOESN’T DESERVE TO SPEAK ANYMORE!!!! TAKE BACK THE STORY AND TRANSFORM IT INTO A VERSION TRULY WORTHY OF THE GLORIOUS BONES IT HAS!!!!!

We also can’t ignore the role that monetization plays in the media we consume. Why leave our fiction in the hands of just the big names? Why let money dictate what is real and not real? WHY SETTLE FOR MEDIOCRE STORYTELLING JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SOLD TO YOU AND THEREFORE IT’S “LEGIT CANON”??? FANFICTION IS FREE, AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECES OF WRITING I’VE EVER READ WERE WRITTEN BY FANFIC AUTHORS WHO DID IT FOR THE STORY. WHO DID IT FOR THE ART. WHO ACTUALLY DID IT JUSTICE. FUCK THE CONCEPT OF FANON AND CANON. THE STORY WE WANT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. GET MONEY OUT OF HERE.

Ahem. To avoid going on even more of a tangent, I’ll move on and give the example that triggered my existential crisis in the first place. Sailor Moon. To give some background, Sailor Moon is it for me. I have grown up with it. I’ve watched it my entire life. As a child, I ran around with my toy moon rod and desperately wanted to be Usagi. Ironically, I grew up to be quite a bit like her (but with Rei’s temper admittedly). It is my comfort show, my happiness. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry. I never tire of it. It makes my heart swell. I have never, nor will I ever, love any piece of media the way I love Sailor Moon. Flash forward to today, I watched Sailor Moon Eternal, the two new movie adaptations of the Dream arc in the manga (stick with me non-manga and anime lovers). I liked the films, but I was left with a deep, disatisfied yearning. I want back the feeling of complete bliss I experienced while watching the 90’s anime as a child. The problem with this? I’ll never get it back. I’ve just realized this. I’ll NEVER get it back. Why? Because it’s no longer the perfect version of Sailor Moon that it was to my young eyes. Crystal, while good, is also not the perfected version I seek in my adulthood, and Eternal has not scratched my insatiable itch. I am heartbroken because I’ve realized that Sailor Moon in its perfect form doesn’t exist anymore. If I held any canon sacred, it was this. But the story is flawed. The manga is flawed. The anime is flawed. It’s not infallible, as much as it truly, deeply hurts me to admit to the world and to myself. The only perfect version of Sailor Moon is the one in my heart. It’s the one I choose to piece together for myself with the building blocks that others who came before me have handed over.

Another, more recent example of falliable canon is The Grisha Verse. More specifically, the Shadow and Bone trilogy. I was brought in to the fandom by Ben Barnes’ depthless eyes and magnificent scruff. And you know what? I liked the story, but I stayed for Ben Barnes. I liked the Darkling so much that I bought the entire grisha verse books. It was a premature decision. I’ve only made it halfway through Storm and Seige, and you know what? I’m tired of the canon already. It’s not that great. The bones are there, but it could be SO. MUCH. MORE. I haven’t read the crow books yet, and by all accounts Leigh Bardugo has improved tremendously as a writer. Which incidentally proves my point. Authors are falliable. Ergo, the canon is falliable. I can’t help but think while I read these books, “Damn. I could write this better.” and you know what? I’ve read fanfics that HAVE written it better.

Am I saying this to trash Bardugo? Or even GRRM? (Yes I admit to trashing D&D but that’s beside the point ahem…). NO. I am NOT trashing the writers. I’M A WRITER. I GET IT. YOUR STORY IS YOUR BABY. I G E T I T . But I’ve realized, and what I think future authors will also have to realize, is that fiction doesn’t belong to anyone. As soon as it’s out the door, the fiction no longer belongs to the author. It belongs to us. The people. That’s what is beautiful about fanfiction. It’s not here for the money. It’s not here for the clout. It’s here for the fiction itself. Plain and simple. It belongs to no one and everyone.

In the past, I would have fought this. I would have wanted my work’s canon to be law. To be the word, the truth, the way etc. Now? I can’t be a hypocrite. I can’t be selfish. It isn’t about the author. It’s about the vision. It’s about the story, the narrative, the characters. It’s about art. And sometimes, the authors give birth to the idea (and they deserve credit for that without a doubt), but it’s also true that sometimes, someone else just writes it better. Someone else quite simply saw the vision, the story, the characters, more clearly than the author did. I make this vow now, as an author, to strive for the vision. If someone takes my vision and does it better than me, that only improves my perspective of my own story. It improves the world of fiction as a whole. It makes me better.

So, canon? Fuck the canon. Take back the story. Take back the characters. Take back the art. Fiction is ours. It belongs to us, and we can do with it what we please. Let’s strive for OUR OWN perfected version of the media we love. Canon doesn’t truly exist. The concept of Fanon doesn’t even exist anymore in the way we used to think of it. The author’s version of events is their own Fanon of the story. Canon is meaningless now. There is only the story that you accept in your own mind. There is only the story that I accept in my own mind, no matter how different it is from yours. There is only the art. There is only the limitless potential of countless people’s imaginations. Let’s continue to collaborate and celebrate beautiful stories together, in any conceivable way, over and over and over again, until the end of time.

Fin

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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Hullo, Steph, and happy new year! Sorry if someone has asked this already, but I’m searching for Jealous John fics (preferably new ones). Just finished reading “White Knight” by DiscordantWords, and it is amazing!!! Once again, thank you SO MUCH for all the work and effort you put into this blog... the fandom wouldn’t be the same without you.

Hi Nonny!!

Thank you for the well wishes! I hope you had a good holiday season yourself

I don’t have very many new Jealous John fics, but I do have some new ones to add to my past lists! So, why not, let’s update my Jealous John and Jealous Sherlock Fic rec list!!

JEALOUSY Pt. 5

See Also:

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

JEALOUS JOHN

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock’s closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don’t need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine’s chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn’t ask John.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

JEALOUS SHERLOCK

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard’s secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

You’re On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it’s time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain–and notorious flirt–John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John’s head.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he’s consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #jealous john #jealous sherlock #Anonymous #fic rec sunday

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1252

A - Appearance.

What are you wearing? I have a gray turtleneck and brown shorts at the moment.

What are on your feet right now? I never wear anything for my feet when I’m at home.

What color are your fingernails? I say this a lot on surveys but mine are never painted. Nothing against them, I’ve just never felt the need to spend on something like my nails.

What does your hair look like right now? I have apple hair at the moment to temporarily get rid of my bangs, which I am more than sick of at this point.

B - Best Friend

Who is your best friend? Angela and Andi.

What was the last thing you two did together? The last time I saw Angela we went to the BTS pop-up store. I haven’t seen Andi since January, but when we hung out that evening we just had Korean barbecue and we also parked somewhere in UP to just talk about life in my car. My breakup had been fresh at the time and back then I just needed someone to whom I could vent.

What is (s)he doing right now? I’m sure Andi’s doing something with Leigh, maybe having a video call or something since I think they tend to have one every evening. I’m not sure what Angela’s up to but considering her replies have been a bit slow tonight, I guess she’s somewhat busy at home.

Are you talking to her/him online right now? Angela just replied to something I sent her around 15 minutes ago but the exchange wasn’t meant to be a full-blown conversation, if that’s what you mean.

C - Crush.

Who is (s)he? Eh, I don’t have a crush these days; too obsessed with work to figure out what I find attractive lmaooooo. I do have a main celebrity crush and I might just cite them instead so that I can at least fill this section out.

What does (s)he look like? Curly hair; mismatched eyes; moles underneath his right eye, on his nose, and on his lower lip, and the widest smile I’ve seen on any person.

What was the last thing you two talked about? He’s a celebrity crush...

Does (s)he make you smile? Yes.

D - Dad

What’s your dad’s name? Edgardo.

What does he do for a living? He’s an executive chef for a luxury liner company. He hasn’t worked in a year and a half due to the pandemic and has stayed in the country this whole time, but we’ve *very* recently been informed that he can go back abroad in around two weeks! Of course it will suck letting go of him again after having him back for such a long time, but I’m just glad the family can finally be on track again, financially speaking. It had been something I’ve been worrying silently about.

What was the last thing you two did together? Had dinner last night, but we did that with the whole family too. We don’t really do things that’s just the two of us.

Do you get along better with him than your mother? Yes.

E - Ebay.

Have you ever bought anything from ebay? No. I’m not sure we have eBay here anyway.

Do you just shop around when you’re online? I don’t really shop ‘around.’ I usually have an idea of what I want to get myself, and it’s just a matter of finding the right shop from which to buy.

Do you know anybody who is addicted to it? I know a couple of co-workers who love shopping, like Gabi.

Have you ever sold anything on it? I’ve never tried selling, but I’m actually in the middle of doing something for the very first time – I’ve decided to get into trading! I got my BTS Butter album yesterday but didn’t get to pull the photocard I was vying for – the pull I got, though, was of the most popular member, which means it would be a very easy trade. I put the trade offer up the other day and I finally got a match yesterday.

F - Facebook.

When was the last time you logged on? Like five minutes ago. I constantly check it.

How many friends do you have? Just checked and it says I have 686. I wanna get rid like half of them though.

Do you hate when your facebook chat messes up? Hmm, that doesn’t really happen.

Who was the last person to leave you a wall post? Angela.

G - Google.

Do you Google everything? Yeah, I think I look up a random item or phrase at least once a day. Doesn’t hurt to learn a new thing each day. :)

What was the last thing you Googled? The K-Pop group g.o.d., since my teacher mentioned them in our Korean lessons earlier.

Would you ever trade Google in for Bing? No, I haven’t used Bing in like 12 years.

What do you Google the most? Synonyms, I think, since I’m constantly writing for work.

H - Hair.

Do you like your hair? It’s a love-hate relationship most days because I hate how thick and frizzy it can be...but I recently had mine trimmed all the way up to my neck and for some reason it’s taken on a wavy form, which I didn’t expect to come out at all. And I’ve found that it actually suits me quite a bit, so I’m enjoying my hair for now.

What color is your hair? Black.

What does it look like right now? Slightly damp since I took a shower not too long ago.

What kind of shampoo for you use? Just a normal Dove one.

I - Ibuprofen

When was the last time you took ibuprofen? I don’t think I’ve ever taken it? I usually take paracetamol...idrk the difference either. Do you rely on it for everything (cramps, headache)? I only ever take medicine for headaches/migraines.

Are you so thankful people made it? I mean sure, I’m glad there are those who have been able to create products that can instantly relieve pain or discomfort, but I’m not obsessively grateful.

Do you have any right now? I don’t think we have any.

J - Jobs.

Do you need a job? Nah, I already have one.

Where do you work? Media/PR industry.

Where would you work? I wouldn’t change jobs/industries. This is where I wanted to end up in, and I’m really really glad and fortunate to have landed here on my first shot, right out of college, and during a pendemic.

How much money would you like to get paid? An additional P5k (~$100) would probably be more satisfying, but considering my parents aren’t the traditional Filipino parents who suck 100% of my earnings right out of me the second payday comes, I’m able to enjoy a substantial chunk of money to myself, give them a portion of my earnings, and still be able to save.

K - Kissing.

Who was the last person you kissed? That would be my ex.

Will you next kiss be a mistake? I have no idea when that would be and with whom it will be shared, so I won’t be able to give you a definite answer.

Do you kiss someone everyday? Other than my dogs, nah.

Who was your first kiss? The aforementioned ex.

L - Love.

Who do you love the most in your life? My best friends. I’m also doing a whole lot better in the self-love department these days, so that too :)

Have you ever been in love before? Yeah.

Does it make you so happy when you feel the feeling of love? Sure. It feels light and comfortable, especially when it’s shared.

Why is this word so hard to describe? Because everyone feels love differently. < There we go.

M - Mom.

What is your mom’s name? Abigail.

What is she doing right now? She was watching The Good Doctor the last time I checked on her like five minutes ago. It’s her latest obsession.

Where does she work? She works in the food and beverage department of a 5-star hotel in the city.

Do you two shop together a lot? I rarely do my shopping with either of my parents.

N - Netflix.

Do you have Netflix? Technically, I guess. My dad pays for it and we have a family account.

If not, what movies would you order? I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a movie before. Before streaming on Netflix, I just used to get illegal torrents lol.

Do you rent a lot of movies? I’ve never rented a movie. Was too young for it, I think.

Do you have the tool where it just downloads to your tv? No.

O - Ohio.

Is this the state in which you live in? I don’t even live in the US. Never been there either. < Same.

Is Ohio State your favorite football team? I don’t like football.

Did you know Ohio Is For Lovers? I’m not familiar.

Have you ever been to Ohio? See first answer in this section.

Q - Quitting.

What was the last thing you quit doing? Practicing on Duolingo. I had an extremely short period of using the app again a couple of months ago, but I lasted all of two days hahaha I had been trying to get back on learning Korean, but I enrolled in official lessons not long after that anyway so it didn’t make sense to continue the stages in the app.

Do you need to quit talking to someone right now? Nope. The people I’m talking to right now in between this survey are all welcome conversations.

Would you ever quit school? That wasn’t an option for me and I never would’ve done it anyway.

Don’t you think quitting is stupid? No. Sometimes it can be the strongest thing you can do for yourself.

R - Reading.

What was the last book you read? Does my Korean lesson textbook count hahaha...if not, I haven’t really read anything in years.

Do you own a lot of books? I do, but they are all books from my childhood and teenage years. It’s been a while since I last updated my bookshelf.

Do you have a library card? No, haven’t had one since Grade 1.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Without Seeing the Dawn was pretty influential to me, but I dunno about ‘life-changing.’ I need to read more to find the book that would have that effect on me.

S - Safety.

Do you always wear your seat belt? I do these days. I didn’t really practice it when I used to drive to school, whoops. Always forgot to do it.

When riding a four-wheeler do you wear a helmet? I rarely get to do that.

Did you ever wear knee pads and a helmet when riding your bike? Nah. I can’t ride a bike either. Do you always think safety first? In COVID terms, yeah. I have a face mask and shield on as soon as I find myself outdoors.

T - Talk

Who was the last person you talked to? Reena. Who are you talking to right now? Nobody. It’s just me, this survey, and some music in the background.

Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Angela and Reena, if I’m not mistaken.

Do you need to talk to anybody right now? No, I’m good.

U - US ARMY

Do you support it? I don’t know enough about it to have a bold opinion, considering I’m not even from the US and it’s been a while since their army has had any strong contact with my country.

Do you know anybody who is in the army right now? I think one of Angela’s uncles has a high position in our national army.

Don’t you ever wonder why their camo doesn’t match anything? Not really.

Would you ever go to the army? No.

V - Virgin.

Are you a virgin? Nope.

When did you lose your virginity? I was 18.

Do you wish you would’ve waited? Nah, it felt right when I did it the first time; and I maintain that stance now even though I’m no longer with that person.

Do you think you could have stayed a virgin until marriage? I could. Sex isn’t a big deal to me.

W - What.

What are you doing right now besides this survey? I’m also listening to mono. and taking bites from my doughnut every now and then.

What are you craving? Spicy tuna salad, but it can wait. Andi got me my favorite truffle baked macaroni because it’s CM Punk day today :D :D and that’s able to satisfy my savory cravings for now.

What do you need to buy? Shelves.

Why are you taking my survey? I’ve mentioned this before but I like categorized/themed surveys, so alphabetical ones are always fun for me.

X -Xanax

Do you know anybody who is addicted to Xanax? I don’t think so.

Have you ever taken it before? No.

Do you even know what it is? No, actually.

Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? I’m sure I have.

Y - Yourself.

Name. Robyn.

Age. 23.

Do you smile a lot? Sure, I’d say that’s common these days.

Z - Zebra.

Are you addicted to zebra striped? Not really.

Do you own anything zebra striped? Nah. I have some stuff that come in black and white stripes, but not zebra print. Is anything on any of your websites zebra striped? No.

#survey #surveys

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travellvogue · 5 years

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Fluffy Alphabet- Trent Alexander-Arnold

A= ATTRACTIVE, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on, he swore that the day he met you, completely in awe of how one human could be so breath taking, his favourite feature of yours being your eyes, his mum always told him “fall in love with someone’s eyes, because they never change” and he prays he’ll get to stare into yours for the rest of his time

B- BABYGIRL, he knows as soon as “babygirl” leaves his mouth he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, the look in your eyes when he uses the pet name drives him crazy, desperately just want to kiss you and cuddle you forever, never knowing a simple nickname could have such power over the both of you

C= CUDDLE, he’d be begging for cuddles all the time, any excuse to hold you or be held, loving it so much when your fingers trace his spine or scratch gently at his scalp, and he loves to cuddle you, to have your body clinging to him like a koala makes him feel like he’s protecting you from the world, such love and admiration in his eyes when you fall asleep on his chest

D= DATES, you’d call it ‘date day’, date day would be every Thursdays without fail, whether that simply meant the two of you going out for breakfast,lunch or dinner. Or having movie nights, late night drives to McDonalds drive through to sit in the car park and eat whilst chatting about conspiracy theories and people watching. He’d feel guilty when he’s away, missing date day but he’d always make up for missed time and treat you to the best date day ever.

E= EVERYTHING, he loved everything about you, you brightened every aspect of his life, and he hated that you weren’t able to see just how much light you’ve bought to his world, constantly telling you he loves every single part of you, inside and out, knowing one day you’ll believe him when he tells you you’re perfect

F= FAMILY, you fit into his family like a puzzle piece, he was convinced his mum loved you more then she loved him- always the begging the two of you to hurry up and get married, despite being so young. He’s asked you if you wanted babies in the future, and of course you wanted kids with him, two boys and a girl, all close in age, and all super close with their cousins

G= GENTLE, he was the most gentle soul, put everyone’s needs before his own- and for that you admired him. However, you ensured you looked after him the way he deserved to be, to show him just how special he is, not afraid to show him your soft gentle side, a side not many people saw as you’d built such a barrier, but his manner had your walls tumbling down instantly

H= HUMOUR, you’re both sarcastic little shits, numerous amounts of inside jokes between the two of you, his brothers always involved with the teasing and friendly banter, your dry sense of humour always lifting him up when he’s down

I= I MISS YOU, he found it impossibly hard when he’s away from you, but work consisted of a lot of travel and you couldn’t always come with him, so you relied on facetime, texts, snapchat- anything you could to stay in contact with one another, you’d both find it hard to sleep without one another next to you, the cuddles and kisses where missed severely but it always made it more special when he arrives home to the love of his life waiting for him

J= JEALOUSY, you get jealous sometimes, you know he gets a lot of attention from females and sometimes it made you feel a little insecure, but he’s constantly reminding you how he only ever has eyes for you. But he’s the same, sparks of jealously igniting when he sees men trying to flirt with you, you’re beautiful and anyone would want a part of you. The two of you know how loyal you are to one another, never needing to overthink the attention from others

K= KISS, have you seen his lips? You simply couldn’t get enough of them. Wether that’s a quick rushed kiss in the morning before he has to head off to training, or a loving, desperate kiss when he gets home after a long day. The slight graze of his teeth against your bottom lip when he’s turned on let’s you know exactly what he wants, his tongue subtly slipping inside your mouth in the intent to deepen the kiss

L= LOVE, as crazy as it sounds, the two of you said ‘I love you’ within the first 2 weeks of dating, it just felt so natural, both of you knowing that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives with one another, having no fear in telling each other how in love you are

M= MEMORIES, by far the most memorable moment for the two of you was the Champions League Final, despite having been dating for a year before hand he’d never seen you cry so much- happy tears of course. But for him to be living his dream with you by his side was something he couldn’t thank god enough for. A memory permanently sketch in his mind as he looked up to the rooftops during the parade to blow you a kiss, giggling to himself when he sees you stood in floods of happy tears with his family

N= NICKLE (buying things), you always refuse to let him buy you anything, telling him you don’t need him to splash his cash for you for love him, and he knows that, he loves that you never ask for anything and always pay for your own shit, but he still loves to buy you flowers every week, chocolates when you’re feeling down and little trinkets that remind him of you when he goes away with the team

O= OBSESSIONS, you are obsessed with his world cup trim- of course, no surprise there- and he knew exactly what that haircut did to you, and that’s why he doesn’t get it often, claims it’s “a special treat for my baby” but god when he does get his hair cut he loves the attention you give him, running your fingers through his freshly cut curls and giving him more kisses and attention then he thought was humanly possible

P= PET NAMES, he stuck to the normal ‘baby’ pushing it to ‘babygirl’ when he was feeling extra cuddly (or horny) loving how your eyes lit up at the petname, always earning him an array of kisses. And of course he loved it when the nickname was reversed and you referred to him as ‘baby’ or ‘babyboy’ really only using the nicknames in the privacy of each other’s company

Q= QUEEN, you truly here his queen, obviously his mum was he main ‘queen’ but god did you come close, everything you did he admired, in such of awe of your strong, amazing personality, and of course you’ll be a proper queen when you have a daughter and she becomes his princess

R= RELATIONSHIP, it had always been a ‘meant to be’ relationship, through every up and down, over every hurdle, the two of you hardly argued, hardly had a disagreement or an ‘issue’, and people would tell you all the time that they admired how in love the two of you are, and how happy you make one another

S- SAD, the criticism and hate could get to him a lot sometimes, sad glossy eyes as he endlessly scrolled through twitter, doubting not only his footballing capabilities but all the overwhelming rumours about your relationship, however he’d be so grateful when you shut them down, telling him “you’re the only man i could ever want” or simply reminding him, “you’re twenty T! you’re the most talented twenty year old i know”. And it always led to the best cuddles with his face buried into your neck and hands playing with the rings on your fingers

T= TOUCHY, he’s so touchy, so clingy- and god you loved it. everyone always made subtle comments about it being ‘suffocating’ but the two of you never saw the point in hiding your affection from each other. you love to touch his peachy little bum which always makes him blush but he’ll always return the favour and give yours a good grip

U= UNCONDITIONAL, there’s no doubt that the two of you love each other unconditionally, through every moment of life you’ll thank your lucky stars that god blessed you with your little scouse angel. And god where you grateful to find someone who loved you for you, and every inch of you, always reminding you of the love you deserve and how much he loves you

V= VOICE, you are obsessed with his scouse accent, despite not being able to understand a few things he says over the years you’ve become accustomed to it, you’d always get teased for loving his accent but god it did things to you and he knew that, definitely using it to wrap you round his little finger

W= WEDDING, he’d always day-dream about your wedding, knowing you only wanted a tiny little wedding claiming it was a “waste of money” which he appreciated and agreed with, he knew a ring wasn’t necessary to know both of you love eachother but the thought of calling you his wife and Mrs Alexander-Arnold made him feel like the luckiest man in the world

X= XYLOPHONE (your song), ‘If You Could See Me Now’- The Script (absolute tune btw) it would badly through the speakers so loud at an almost deafening volume, the two of you only knowing the words to the chorus but something about the lyrics resonated and meant more to you then you’d ever thought, wide smiles on both of your faces as you sing along together, hands raised to the sky and you dance along to the beat

Y= YOU, “You’re the north to my south” he’d always tease you for being a ‘northerner’ loving how you sometimes couldn’t understand what he and his family where saying at certain times, “you gotta slow down T, enunciate your words” you’d giggle watching him role his eyes and repeat his sentence slowly

Z- Zzz, starfish was the only way to describe it, you’d always start the night wrapped up in his arms but without fail he’d spread himself out and leave you with about 2 inches of mattress, but it was a full circle, you’d always end up curled up in his arms again by the morning

#trent #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold one shot #trent alexander arnold smut #trent alexander arnold blurb #fluffy alphabet #liverpool fc #liverpool imagines #liverpool #fluff alphabet

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finecole · 5 years

Text

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader - ’’Stark can’t fix doorbell’’

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader Word count: 2076 Note: In honour of our favourite bean returning to the MCU, I decided to finally finish this. Hope you like!

-----------------------------------------

‘’I swear to god if you stupid machine blow up again I am going to throw you off of the empire state building,’’ you mumbled under your breath as you took a step back from the desk, observing the little bionic arm. You held your breath as you took the tablet from the table behind you and pressed the start program button for the fourth time on that lovely Friday evening – the previous three times had ended up in spasms and sparks.

The arm started the simple procedure, raising its hand at first and then counting down from five fingers. The pinky went down, the index finger followed and even the middle finger cooperated. The ring finger, however, decided against its programming.

Frustrated, you ran a hand through your hair, throwing the tablet down on the desk. Pathetic, you thought, (y/n) Stark can’t even get a bionic arm to function. ‘’Well, at least it didn’t fucking blow up this ti-’

Too soon, sparks came from the first phalanx, followed by a small bang and the fourth small fire of the night. Unshaken by the mishap, you asked Jarvis to put out the fire, after which a small functioning arm appeared from the table top and put out the fire.

‘’Miss Stark, might I remind you of Flash’s party at 9?’’ Crap. A quick glance at the clock told you that you had approximately 20 minutes left to get ready. So, closing up the lab behind you, you took a quick shower and made work of your face and hair and put together a semi-decent outfit, not really in the mood to play dress-up tonight.

One kitchen-pitstop later, you entered the lift taking you down from the top of Stark Tower, a leftover sandwich in hand. Pepper and dad were out of town for some business at MIT, so you had had the paradise to yourself. Now, any sane teenager would have thrown a party, but those sane teenagers didn’t have a Jarvis lurking around.

In typical New York fashion, the streets were clogged by cars, so you decided you’d walk to Flash’s house, not to keen on taking the subway. It was an unusually cold autumn night; people, unprepared for the cold, hid their faces in their thin scarves and stuffed their hands into the pockets of their way-too-thin-coats. You followed suit, and to avoid as much of the cold weather as possible, you decided to cut through some alleyways, only to find a surprise waiting for you.

You turned a corner, accidentally bumping into someone as you entered the – quite shady looking -alleyway. Thrash and containers lined the walls, but aside from some rats and stray cats the alley was void of life. Despite that, it felt as if someone was watching you, so you turned around, only to be met by the sight of the opposing street.

You turned back around, a sudden voice startling you. ‘’Hey (y/n)!’’

You let out a scream and composed yourself, ready to fight – just like Nat had taught you - as a figure dropped down in front of you.

He put his hand up and took a step back. ‘’Hey hey sorry it’s me!’’

‘’Damnit Parker you scared the living hell out of me!’’

He pulled the mask of off his face, revealing his sweaty face and messed up hair. ‘’Well that was kind of the point,’’ a laugh escaped his lips.

‘’You do that again I’ll make sure to program a nightmare into that suit of yours next time my dad updates it,’’ you sighed, relaxing your body and forcing a faint smile onto your face. That fake smile didn’t go unnoticed by Peter; the two of you had been best friends for years now and he didn’t need his Spidey senses to tell him something was off.

He extended his arm and put his hand on your shoulder, eyes meeting. ‘’What’s wrong? I’m sorry for scaring you if-‘’

‘’No,no that’s fine – I’m fine, just,’’ apparently you couldn’t even form a proper sentence today. You looked down at the ground sighing, ‘’it’s just not my day.’’

Peter nodded slowly, deciding to drop the subject when he saw you look away. He’d ask later, he thought as he turned around and pushed one of the dumpsters aside, revealing a backpack webbed stuck to the wall.

‘’My party outfit,’’ he smirked, looking back at you before pulling the backpack off.

‘’So, did you plan for me to take a shortcut and ambush me or was it just destiny huh?’’ you inquired, rolling your eyes playfully as you walked up to him, looking at the clothes in his backpack.

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, drawing a circle with his finger telling you to turn around.

‘’Oh well sorry of course - it would be a sin to see an exposed chest before marriage,’’ you laughed, not forcing it this time. Peter had always managed to make you feel better, simply by just being there. His presence alone felt like a warm, fluffy comforting blanket.

He got dressed and soon the both of you were en route to the so called ‘party of the year’. You walked in silence – well, that was until Peter’s stomach started making whale-mating-calls.

‘’Did you eat anything today?’’

‘’Oh no, I was out being a ‘’friendly neighbourhood spider-man’ all day after school, told May I would pick something up from Delmar’s but I just got side-tracked.’’

An opportunity. ‘’Well we can still get some food if you want?’’

‘’No, it’s fine I’m sure Flash will have something.’’

‘’No really Peter we should go get some food,’’ you rambled. ‘’No alcohol on an empty stomach, right? And what if Flash doesn’t have-‘’

Peter stopped in his track, taking your hand into his own and using the other to lift your chin so that you would look him in the eyes. ‘’(Y/n) stop. Please tell me what’s wrong.’’

You just looked at him, mouth opened, waiting for something to come out – but there was nothing. Tears suddenly building up in your eyes told him enough.

‘’Okay you know what? Screw the party. Let’s go to Delmar’s, stock up on a whole load of unhealthy snacks and go watch a movie at my place. Pretty sure May even had some cake left over – I can’t guarantee you that it tastes good though.’’

You nodded, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill as relief washed over you. That, sounded much better than Flash’s party at the moment.

---

Two bags filled with snacks and sandwiches in hand, you reached Peter and May’s apartment. Peter fumbled with his keys, trying to find the right one when May suddenly opened up.

‘’Hey there!’’

‘’Oh hi May.’’ The both of you said at the same time.

May stepped aside, letting you in. ‘’I thought you were going to a party?’’

‘’Meh, not in the mood.’’ Peter said as he put the two bags down on the kitchen table and took of his jacket.

‘’We thought we would watch a movie instead.’’ You said.

‘’Oh, that’s fine! I’m heading off to a friend of mine, okay Peter?’’ Peter nodded, already stuffing the chocolate chip cookies into his mouth. ‘’I’ll be back in a few hours.’’

She took her purse that was sitting on the kitchen counter and said her goodbyes, leaving the two of you alone.

You quite liked the Parker residence. It was small, sure, but that was part of its charm. You were used to living in a large penthouse, and since it was just Tony, Pepper and you, sometimes it would feel like you were home alone for days. The small apartment was cosy, and May’s obsession with blankets and pillows probably helped as well.

Peter closed the blinds and threw a few bags of chips on the couch before he plopped down on it himself, inviting you over next to him and offering up the other side of the far too large blanket.

You got cosy, and without even saying a word the two of you decided to watch one of the Star Wars movies, but half an hour into the movie and you still couldn’t get into it. There was too much clouding your mind: why were you not able to get that stupid arm to work? You had made far more complicated things together with dad.

Dad. That was it. You just couldn’t get anything done without his help. Where you that stupid? How where you going to get into MIT like that, or any college of your choice for that matter. You couldn’t go through life holding your dad’s hand now could y-

‘’(Y/n)?’’ A hand on your shoulder shook you from your thoughts.

You looked over and were met by a concerned pair of eyes. Peter reached out and wiped away a tear that you didn’t know had fallen. ‘’Please talk?’’

You bit your lip, what were you supposed to tell him? You didn’t want to sound pathetic – but then again, this was Peter, your best friend. He wouldn’t care.

‘’You know that robotics project we are supposed to hand in on Wednesday?’’

He nodded, now completely turning on the couch to face you.

‘’Well, I tried – like four times, but I just can’t do it. And now, I realise, I’ve never done anything by myself. I’m always putting things together with dad, and what if I can’t do it - ever, by myself. What kind of Stark would I be? That would actually be the most pathetic thing, can you imagine the tabloids? ‘’(Y/n) Stark can’t fix doorbell, is Stark industries safe in her hands?’’ I really want this, Pete; really want to be able to do the things my dad can – imagine what I could do? I could actually help people, like dad. But now it all feels like some very, very far away dream. What if I just can’t do it?’’

You laid your head on your knees, looking away from Peter. The minute of silence felt like eternity.

‘(Y/n)… you are one of the smartest people I know, and I’m not just saying that to calm you down. Remember when I burst into your room in the middle of the night, suit torn and face beaten up? You fixed up everything, all by yourself because Tony would have killed me if he knew that I went after those criminals – who were definitely way too dangerous to take on by myself in hindsight but hey, you were the one that fixed up my suit. A million-dollar suit, made by your dad, and you – once again, you, (y/n) Stark fixed it. So what that stupid bionic arm thing isn’t working out today. You’ll try again and it’ll work. I promise.’’

You looked back at him and he gave a comforting smile.

‘’And the (y/n) Stark I know wouldn’t shed a tear about this, ya know?’’ he added, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

You threw the nearest pillow at his face, laughing, ‘’Hey!’’

Peter dodged it, of course, but you had a started an all-pillow fight, almost smashing aunt May’s favourite vase. Laughter and screams filled the room, and the movie was already halfway done when Peter’s spideysenses abandoned him for a second and he tripped, falling on to you as you both came crashing down on the couch.

You both said nothing for a moment as you realised what position you were in and the laughter slowly died.

Peter licked his lips, ‘’we’ll call it a draw then.’’

‘’Hey no - I obviously won that!’’

Peter imitated a shocked look, making the both of you dissolve into laughter again.

He was so close, his brown curls falling over his forehead framing his face like a crown. His chocolate-browns stared into yours, and as you drowned in each other’s eyes everything around you seemed to fade.

‘’Thankyou… for today.’’ You managed to produce as you seemed to sink further and further.

Peter nodded, lips parted as he hummed something, lowering his face slowly – sinking as well, until your lips met.

A thud split the two of you up, and Peter was on his feet in no time - only to notice that it was just aunt May’s purse which she had set down on the table.

A borderline evil smile crept up on her face as she looked at your rapidly reddening faces. ‘’So, tell me, how was the movie you guys?’’

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman x reader #tony stark #stark #peterparkerff #peter parker fancition #mcu #marvel #sony #iron man #imactuallysohappytheyworkeditout #bestnewsthismonth #:)))))#imaginetakingawaybothpeterandtonyiwouldhavedied

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letterboxd · 4 years

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Life in Film: Ben Wheatley.

As Netflix goes gothic with a new Rebecca adaptation, director Ben Wheatley tells Jack Moulton about his favorite Hitchcock film, the teenagers who will save cinema, and a memorable experience with The Thing.

“The actual process of filmmaking is guiding actors and capturing emotion on set. That’s enough of a job without putting another layer of postmodern film criticism over the top of it.” —Ben Wheatley

Winter’s coming, still no vaccine, the four walls of home are getting pretty samey… and what Netflix has decided we need right now is a lavish, gaslight-y psychological thriller about a clifftop manor filled with the personality of its dead mistress—and a revival of one of the best menaces in screen history. Bring on the ‘Mrs Danvers’ Hallowe’en costumes, because Rebecca is back.

In Ben Wheatley’s new film adaptation of Daphne du Maurier’s best-selling 1938 novel, scripted by Jane Goldman, Lily James plays an orphaned lady’s maid—a complete nobody, with no known first name—who catches the eye of the dashing, cashed-up Maxim de Winter (Armie Hammer).

Very quickly, the young second Mrs de Winter is flung into the intimidating role of lady of Manderley, and into the shadow of de Winter’s late first wife, Rebecca. The whirlwind romance is over; the obsession has begun, and it’s hotly fuelled by Manderley’s housekeeper, Mrs Danvers (Kristin Scott Thomas, perfectly cast).

Each adaptation of du Maurier’s story has its own quirks, and early Letterboxd reactions suggest viewers will experience varying levels of satisfaction with Wheatley’s, depending on how familiar they are with both the novel and earlier screen versions—most notably, Alfred Hitchcock’s 1940 Best Picture winner, starring Laurence Olivier Joan Fontaine, and Judith Anderson.

Why would you follow Hitchcock? It’s been 80 years; Netflix is likely banking on an audience of Rebecca virgins (the same kind of studio calculation that worked for Bradley Cooper’s A Star is Born). Plus, the new Rebecca is a Working Title affair; it has glamor, camp, Armie Hammer in a three-piece suit, the sunny South of France, sports cars, horses, the wild Cornish coast, Lily James in full dramatic heat, and—controversial!—a fresh twist on the denouement.

A big-budget thriller made for a streamer is Wheatley coming full circle, in a way: he made his name early on with viral internet capers and a blog (“Mr and Mrs Wheatley”) of shorts co-created with his wife and longtime collaborator, Amy Jump. Between then and now, they have gained fans for their well-received low-to-no budget thrillers, including High-Rise, Kill List and Free Fire (which also starred Hammer).

Over Zoom, Wheatley spoke to Letterboxd about the process of scaling up, the challenge of casting already-iconic characters, and being a year-round horror lover. [The Rebecca plot discussion may be spoilery to some. Wheatley is specifically talking about the du Maurier version, not his film.]

Armie Hammer and Ben Wheatley on the set of ‘Rebecca’.

Can you tell us how you overcame any concerns in adapting a famous novel that already has a very famous adaptation? How did you want to make a 1930s story relevant to modern audiences? Ben Wheatley: When you go back to the novel and look at how it works, you see it’s a very modern book. [Author Daphne du Maurier is] doing stuff that people are still picking up the pieces of now. It’s almost like the Rosetta Stone of thrillers—it tells you everything on how to put a thriller together. The genre jumping and Russian-doll nature of the structure is so delicious. When you look at the characters in the book, they’re still popping up in other stuff—there’s Mrs Danvers in all sorts of movies.

It remains fresh because of its boldness. Du Maurier is writing in a way that’s almost like a dare. She’s going, “right, okay, you like romantic fiction do you? I’ll write you romantic fiction; here’s Maxim de Winter, he’s a widower, he’s a good-looking guy, and owns a big house. Here’s a rags-to-riches, Cinderella-style girl. They’re going to fall in love. Then I’m going to ruin romantic fiction for you forever by making him into a murdering swine and implicating you in the murder because you’re so excited about a couple getting away with it!”

That’s the happy ending—Maxim doesn’t go to prison. How does that work? He’s pretty evil by the end. It’s so subtly done that you only see the trap of it after you finish reading the book. That’s clearly represented in Jane Goldman’s adaptation that couldn’t be done in 1940 because of the Hays Code. That whole element of the book is missing [in Hitchcock’s Rebecca]. But I do really like this style of storytelling in the 1930s and ’40s that is not winky, sarcastic, and cynical. It’s going, “here’s Entertainment with a big ‘E’. We’re going to take you on holiday, then we’re gonna scare you, then we’re gonna take you around these beautiful houses that you would never get a chance to go around, and we’re gonna show you these big emotions.”

After High-Rise, you ended up circling back to more contained types of films, whereas Rebecca is your lushest and largest production. How was scaling up for you? Free Fire does feel like a more contained film, but in many ways it was just as complicated and had the same budget as High-Rise, since it’s just in one space. Happy New Year, Colin Burstead is literally a contained film, that’s right. What [the bigger budget] gave me was the chance to have a conversation where I say I want a hotel that’s full of people and no-one says you can’t have any people in it. You don’t have to shoot in a corner, so that scale is suddenly allowed.

Elisabeth Moss and Tom Hiddlestone in Wheatley’s ‘High-Rise’ (2015).

The other movies I did are seen as no-budget or, I don’t even know the word for how little money they are, and even though High-Rise and Free Fire were eight million dollars each, they’re still seen as ultra-low budget. This is the first film that I’ve done that’s just a standard Hollywood-style movie budget and it makes a massive difference. It gives you extra time to work. All the schemes you might have had to work out in order to cheat and get around faster, but now it’s fine, let’s only shoot two pages today. We can go out on the road and close down all of the south of France—don’t worry about all the holidaymakers screaming at you and getting cross! That side of it is great.

You had the challenge to cast iconic actors for iconic roles. What were you looking for in the casting? What points of reference did you give the actors? I don’t think we really talked about it, but [Armie Hammer] definitely didn’t watch the Hitchcock version. I can understand why he wouldn’t. There was no way he was going to accidentally mimic [Laurence] Olivier’s performance without seeing it and he just didn’t want to have the pressure of that. I think that’s quite right. It’s an 80-year-old film, it’s a beloved classic, and we’d be mad if we were trying to remake it. We’re not.

The thing about the shadow that the film cast is that it’s hard enough making stuff without thinking about other filmmakers. I’ve had this in the past where journalists ask me “what were your influences on the day?” and I wish I could say “it was a really complicated set of movies that the whole thing was based around”, but it’s not like that. When you watch documentaries about filmmakers screening loads of movies for their actors before they make something—it’s lovely, but it’s not something I’ve ever done.

The actual process of filmmaking is guiding actors and capturing emotion on set. That’s enough of a job without putting another layer of postmodern film criticism over the top of it—“we’ll use this shot from 1952, that will really make this scene sing!”—then you’re in a world of pain. Basically, it’s my interpretation of the adaptation. The book is its own place, and for something like High-Rise, [screenwriter Amy Jump] has the nightmare of sitting down with 112 pages of blank paper and taking a novel and smashing it into a script. That’s the hard bit.

Armie Hammer and Lily James in ‘Rebecca’.

Current industry news is not so great—cinemas are facing bankruptcy, film festivals in the USA are mostly virtual, Disney is focusing on Disney+ only. How do you feel about a future where streaming dominates the market and the theatrical experience becomes, as we fear, an exclusive niche? Independent cinema was born out of very few movies. If you look at the history of Eraserhead—that film on its own almost created all of cult cinema programming. One movie can do that. It can create an audience that is replicated and becomes a whole industry. And that can happen again, but it needs those films to do that. They will come as things ebb and flow. The streamers will control the whole market and then one day someone will go “I don’t want to watch this stuff, I want to watch something else” and they’ll go make it.

It’s like The Matrix, it’s a repeating cycle. There’ll always be ‘the One’. There’s Barbara Loden in 1970 making Wanda, basically inventing American independent cinema. So I don’t worry massively about it. I know it’s awkward and awful for people to go bankrupt and the cinemas to close down, but in time they’ll re-open because people will wanna see stuff. The figures for cinemagoers were massive before Covid. Are you saying that people with money are not going to exploit that? Life will find a way. Remember that the cinema industry from the beginning is one that’s in a tailspin. Every year is a disaster and they’re going bust. But they survived the Spanish Flu, which is basically the same thing.

Two months ago, you quickly made a horror movie. We’re going to get a lot of these from filmmakers who just need to create something this year. What can you identify now about this inevitable next wave of micro-budget, micro-schedule pandemic-era cinema? I’ve always made micro-budget films so that side of it is not so crazy. There will be a lot of Zoom and people-locked-in-houses films but they won’t be so interesting. They’re more to-keep-you-sane kind of filmmaking which is absolutely fine. Where you should look for [the ‘pandemic-era’ films] is from the kids and young adults through 14 to 25 who’ve been the most affected by it. They will be the ones making the true movies about the pandemic which will be in like five years’ time.

People going through GCSEs and A-Levels [final high-school exams in England] will have had their social contracts thoroughly smashed by the government after society tells them that this is the most important thing you’re ever gonna do in your life. Then the next day the government tells them “actually, you’ve all passed”, then the next day they go “no, you’ve all failed”, and then “oh no, you’ve all passed”. It’s totally bizarre. Anyone who’s in university at the moment [is] thinking about how they’ve worked really hard to get to that position and now they’ve had it taken away from them. That type of schism in that group will make for a unique set of storytelling impetus. Much more interesting than from my perspective of being a middle-age bloke and having to stay in my house for a bit, which was alright. Their experience is extreme and that will change cinema.

Kristin Scott Thomas as Mrs Danvers in ‘Rebecca’.

It’s time to probe into your taste in film. Firstly, three questions about Alfred Hitchcock: his best film, most underrated film, and most overrated film? It’s tricky, there’s a lot to choose from. I think Psycho is his best film because, much like Wanda, it was the invention of indie cinema. He took a TV crew to go and do a personal project and then completely redefined horror, and he did it in the same year as Peeping Tom.

There’s stuff I really like in Torn Curtain. Certainly the murder scene where they’re trying to stick the guy in the oven. It’s a gut-wrenching sequence. Overrated, I don’t know. It’s just a bit mean, isn’t it? Overrated by who? They’re all massively rated, aren’t they?

Which film made you want to become a filmmaker? The slightly uncool version of my answer is the first fifteen minutes of Dr. No before I got sent to bed. We used to watch movies on the telly when I was a kid, so movies would start at 7pm and I had to go to bed at 7:30pm. You would get to see the first half-hour and that would be it. The opening was really intriguing. I never actually saw a lot of these movies until I was much older.

The more grown-up answer is a film like Taxi Driver. It was the first time where I felt like I’d been transported in a way where there was an authorship to a film that I didn’t understand. It had done something to me that television and straightforward movies hadn’t done and made me feel very strange. It was something to do with the very, very intense mixture of sound, music and image and I started to understand that that was cinema.

What horror movie do you watch every Hallowe’en? I watch The Thing every year but I don’t tend to celebrate Hallowe’en, to be honest. I’m of an age where it wasn’t a big deal and was never particularly celebrated. I find it a bit like “what’s all this Hallowe’en about?”—horror films for me are for all year-round.

What’s a brilliant mindfuck movie that perhaps even cinephiles haven’t seen? What grade of cinephile are we talking? All of the work by Jan Švankmajer, maybe. Hard to Be a God is pretty mindfucky if you want a bit of that, but cinephiles should know about it. It’s pretty intense. Marketa Lazarová too.

‘Marketa Lazarová’ (1967) directed by František Vláčil.

What is the greatest screen romance that you totally fell head over heels for? I guess it’s Casablanca for me. That would be it.

Which coming-of-age film did you connect to the most as a teenager? [Pauses for effect] Scum.

Who is an exciting newcomer director we should keep our eyes on? God, I don’t know. I would say Jim Hosking but he’s older than me and he’s not a newcomer because he’s done two movies. So, that’s rubbish. He doesn’t count.

[Editor’s note: Hosking contributed to ABCs of Death 2 with the segment “G is for Grandad” while Wheatley contributed to The ABCs of Death with the segment “U is for Unearthed” and also executive produced the follow-up film.]

What was your best cinema experience? [Spoiler warning for The Thing.]

Oh, one that speaks in my mind is seeing The Thing at an all-nighter in the Scala at King’s Cross, and I was sitting right next to this drunk guy who was talking along to the screen. It was a packed cinema with about 300 people, and someone at the front told him “will you just shut up?” The guy says “I won’t shut up. You tell me to shut up again and I’ll spoil the whole film!” The whole audience goes “no, no, no!” and he went “it’s the black guy and the guy with the beard—everyone else dies!” That made me laugh so much.

Do you have a favorite film you’ve watched so far this year? Yeah, Zombie Flesh Eaters.

Related content

Classic Gothic Literature to Film—Jennifer Boddaert’s list

Ava’s Dark Romance list

Ben Wheatley’s Life in Film list

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

‘Rebecca’ is in select US theaters on October 17, and streaming on Netflix everywhere on October 21.

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acoolchickouthere13 · 4 years

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“despite what you may have read in the gossip press, Swift hasn’t been involved with a man in quite some time. She’s not dating. She’s not canoodling. She’s not even sexting. Taylor Swift is single and loving it.

“I really like my life right now,” she says. “I have friends around me all the time. I’ve started painting more. I’ve been working out a lot. I’ve started to really take pride in being strong. I love the album I made. I love that I moved to New York. So in terms of being happy, I’ve never been closer to that.” Which is not necessarily the same as being happy….Swift leads the way into one of her four guest bedrooms. “This is where Karlie usually stays,” she says – meaning supermodel Karlie Kloss, one of her new BFFs, whom she met nine months ago at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. There’s a basket of Kloss’s favorite Whole Foods treats next to the bed, and multiple photos of her on the walls….Shoshanna gets excited about things, she’s really girly. And when she was in a relationship that was very comfortable, she made the decision to get out and go experience new things on her own. And now she’s becoming more sure of herself and taking life head-on, in a way that I can relate to….Heading back downstairs, she passes an antique lamp with the inscription CALADIUM SEGUINUM on it. Swift took Latin in high school, but says she isn’t sure what it means. (Later, I look it up. It turns out it’s a homeopathic remedy for male impotence.)...Different phases of your life have different levels of deep, traumatizing heartbreak,” Swift says. “And in this period of my life, my heart was not irreparably broken. So it’s not as boy-centric of an album, because my life hasn’t been boycentric.” In fact, she suggests, she hasn’t dated at all since breaking up with One Direction singer Harry Styles more than a year and a half ago. “Like, have not gone on a date,” she says. “People are going to feel sorry for me when you write that. But it’s true. Swift says dating is hard for her. For one thing, there’s the logistics. “Seventy percent of the time, when a guy asks me out, it’ll just be a random e-mail,” she says. Some movie star will get her address from his publicist and e-mail her cold. Usually she politely rebuffs them – but even if someone did penetrate that line of defense, building a relationship is hard.

“I feel like watching my dating life has become a bit of a national pastime,” Swift says. “And I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work. And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start. And so,” she says, “I just don’t date.”

(That goes for hooking up as well. “I just think it’s pointless if you’re not in love,” Swift says. “And I don’t have the energy to be in love right now. So, no.”)

Truth be told, Swift sounds a tiny bit jaded – which, for a “self-professed hopeless romantic,” maybe isn’t the worst thing to be. “It’s not like I’ve sworn off love,” she says. “My life is just not conducive to bringing other people into it right now. I’m very childlike and romantic about lots of things, but I’m realistic about this.”

Swift pauses, searching for a metaphor that will help her explain herself. “Have you heard of the Loneliest Whale? There’s this whale – I think Adrian Grenier is making a documentary about it. It swims through the ocean, and it has a call unlike any other whale’s. So it doesn’t have anyone to swim with. And everybody feels so sorry for this whale – but what if this whale is having a great time? Because it’s not bad that I’m not hopelessly in love with someone. It’s not a tragedy, and it’s not me giving up and being a spinster. Although I did get another cat.” She laughs. “I asked around: I was like, ‘Does two cats count as cats?’ But then I thought, what imaginary guy’s perspective am I thinking about this from? Someone is going to think I’m undateable for a lot of reasons before they think I’m undateable because I have two cats….Two years ago she told Vogue she wanted to be friends with Kloss; now they’re going to the gym together and taking road trips to Big Sur.) Swift says this is another byproduct of being single. “When your number-one priority is getting a boyfriend, you’re more inclined to see a beautiful girl and think, ‘Oh, she’s gonna get that hot guy I wish I was dating,'” she says. “But when you’re not boyfriend-shopping, you’re able to step back and see other girls who are killing it and think, ‘God, I want to be around her.'” As an example, she cites her pal Lorde, whom she calls Ella. “It’s like this blazing bonfire,” Swift says. “You can either be afraid of it because it’s so powerful and strong, or you can go stand near it, because it’s fun and it makes you brighter….Sometimes the lines in a song are lines you wish you could text-message somebody in real life,” she says. “I would just be constantly writing all these zingers – like, ‘Burn. That would really get her.’ And I know people are going to obsess over who it’s about, because they think they have all my relationships mapped out. But there’s a reason there are not any overt call-outs in that song. My intent was not to create some gossip-fest.”(x)

#accohtimeline #taylor swift #taylorswift #ts #taylor #swift #kaylor #accoh timeline #gaylor #gaylor swift

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pitviperofdoom · 5 years

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Fundraiser Commission #2

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga go to Disneyland (no ships please, unless you wanna include a bit of Dabihawks in which case I will love you forever)”

Sadly I couldn’t fit the Dabihawks in there, sorry! I ended up going AU with it, hope that’s okay!

---

Like most things that made Touya drag his feet and roll his eyes and desperately pretend not to care, it was Himiko’s idea.

She came prancing into the bar while Tenko was hard at work mopping up nose blood by Fuu’s table, because some drunk idiot thought it was a good idea to reach for her chest. “Ten-chan! Ten-chan, guess what!”

Instinct almost made him snap at her for using even a shortened form of his real name, but the only other people in the bar were Kuro and Touya, so he let it drop. “Himiko, I don’t care who you fell head over tits in love with today, I’m not helping,” he said without looking up.

She pouted, her face scrunched up in a way that made her nose even more button-like than usual. “You’re no fun, Ten-chan. Besides, it’s not even about a crush this time!”

“Stop the fuckin’ presses.” Satisfied that the floor was clean, Tenko plunked the mop back in the bucket. “What’s up?”

She bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet. “Want to go to Disneyland with me?”

For a moment he simply stared at her, blinking owlishly as he processed the question. “What.”

From the pocket of her sweater she produced two slips of paper and waved them about. “I got two all-day passes! Let’s go to Disneyland, Ten-chan!”

He squinted at her. “Where the fuck did you get two all-day passes to Disneyland.”

“I won a sweepstakes!”

Tenko stood there, still holding on to the mop handle, processing this slowly. “When did you enter—no.” He threw his hands upward. “You know what? I don’t wanna know. Fine, you won a sweepstakes. Let’s go with that. Disneyland? Great!” He caught his breath, already mentally calculating the fastest way to save up the price for a third ticket.

Blissfully unaware, Himiko tackled him with a hug around his middle and a squeal of delight.

---

Touya was doing inventory in the back when Tenko flung the door open. “Good news! We’re going to Disneyland.”

“Congratulations,” Touya answered, without looking up from his clipboard.

“You’re coming too,” Tenko informed him. “My treat! You don’t have to worry about your ticket, and I’ll buy you an obnoxiously over-priced lunch, courtesy of the mouse.”

Touya shot him a disbelieving look, and the pencil in his hand began to smolder. “Tenko, what the hell. Who else is coming?”

“Just you, me, and Himiko,” Tenko answered, and was cut off by Touya groaning loudly. “C’mon, it’s Disneyland! Haven’t you ever been to Disneyland before?”

“Oh sure, yeah, the old man used to take us every weekend. We got pictures of him posing with Goofy.”

“Great, then—wait, really?”

“No, you fucking idiot!” Touya snapped. “I wasn’t even allowed to watch movies until he decided training me was a waste of time!”

“Oh,” Tenko said softly, and for a moment Touya thought the conversation was over. “Ohoho.” Something about Tenko’s tone made him look up, and he found Tenko staring at him with wide eyes and a grin that showed just a few too many teeth.

“Tenko, what—”

“I get to show you Disneyland,” Tenko said gleefully.

“Yeah, no.” Touya turned back to the inventory. “Have fun with Himiko, bye.”

“Touya, come on,” Tenko gritted out, walking into the back room and closing the door behind him. “You have to come. You can’t make me go alone with her!”

“Why not?” Touya asked. “She likes you better than me.”

“Because I need you to help me rein her in so she doesn’t get me perma-banned from Disneyland!”

It was frustratingly hard not to laugh at that. “What do you need my help for?” he asked. “What makes you think I’ll be any better at keeping her from biting the park staff than you are?”

Tenko shot him an impressive stink-eye. “Oh, I’m sorry, which one of us was an older sibling again?”

“Oh, what, you think that means I’m genetically predisposed to wrangling infants? That’s weak, Tenko.” He turned away with what he hoped was finality. “Have fun without me.”

After a moment of silence, Tenko answered, “I mean, we will. I didn’t think you’d be so bent on missing the show.”

Damn him, that was a good point. “If you’re so excited to drag me to a corporate shitshow of obvious pandering to a target audience, then why do you want me to come on the one day you’re pretty much guaranteed to get kicked out?”

“Because everybody and their grandma will have a camera and internet access, and if we end up plastered all over the internet, there’s a chance somebody’ll look at it and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that Endeavor’s kid getting maced by Minnie Mouse?’”

Touya whipped around to scowl at him. Tenko offered a disarming smile.

“Bullshit,” Touya retorted. “The mascots don’t carry mace. Do they?”

“Nah. Disney’s kind of obsessed with their squeaky-clean image. Did you know that if you die in Disneyland, they won’t let the paramedics call it until you’re out of the park so they can pretend nobody has ever died in Disneyland?”

“How many people die in Disneyland?” Touya demanded.

Tenko blinked. “None, weren’t you listening?”

For a while, Touya stared at him. Tenko stared back. This was a losing battle, and he knew it. Tenko had the patience of a brick wall. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“No.”

Touya put down the clipboard with a thud. “God damn it. Why are we friends? I hate you.” He turned back to glower at him. “When are we going?”

---

Obviously Himiko pouted when she found out that Touya was coming along on their little impromptu day trip, which was why Tenko waited to tell her until they were about to leave. She liked his company enough to prefer it over anyone else’s, and that wouldn’t do. Exclusive one-on-one positive contact with Tenko and Tenko only did not a well-socialized human being make. Tenko wished he could have invited some more people, but Himiko had sprung this on him on incredibly short notice, so there was no time to bribe anyone else to do it. Besides, his pocket money was limited and a day pass to Disneyland was like, eight thousand yen.

So they were going with Touya, and if Himiko wanted to complain about it, then Disneyland had plenty of distractions available. Once they got through the line, of course.

Tenko and Touya passed through the security check without any problems, because they weren’t stupid. Himiko, naturally, set off the metal detector.

“God damn it,” Touya muttered under his breath. “Why did we bring her again?”

“They were her tickets,” Tenko hissed back. “Technically, we’re the ones who brought you along.”

“Oh, yeah. Why did you bring me again?”

“What’s left of my sanity,” Tenko said out of the corner of his mouth. On the other side of the security gate, Himiko offered a cherubic smile that showed off just a little too much gumline, as the long-suffering security guard pulled a small metal device out of her purse. It was a nail clip, with attachments: a file, a buffer, a cuticle nipper, a cuticle pusher—basically any metal tool required in a manicure. It was like a Swiss army knife without the knife.

With a sigh, the employee put the manicure set back in her bag and waved her through. Himiko joined them with a skip in her step, and together they made their way past the entrance and into the World Bazaar.

“Did you seriously need to bring that?” Tenko asked. “What, are you planning on setting up a nail salon in the Space Mountain line?”

“Nope!” Himiko chirped. “I just didn’t want them to look harder.” She kicked up one heel so she could reach it with her hand. From inside her sock she produced an actual Swiss army knife.

“Himiko, what the fuck—”

---

“I can’t believe you actually bought those,” Touya said, glaring as if Tenko had personally affronted him.

“Bought what?” Tenko said innocently, reaching up to touch his mouse ears. “These? I brought these from home.”

“You still bought them at some point!”

“I think they look cute, Ten-chan!” Himiko hung onto his arm, squeezing tight enough to measure his blood pressure with her bare hands. “Don’t listen to him, he’s no fun! They look super cute, especially with your hair!”

Tenko let himself preen a little, because at least someone had good taste.

“Are those rose gold?” Touya asked.

“Maybe.”

“And you seriously shelled out for that?” Touya pulled a face. “Last month you tore me a new asshole for wanting to buy hero merch.”

“Oh fuck you—hi.” Tenko paused to wave at the park employee who was leveling a cheerfully pointed customer service smile at him. “Touya, you wanted to buy the store’s entire stock of Endeavor merch just so you could burn it.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Touya said sullenly. Himiko pouted, because she usually tried to avoid agreeing with Touya on principle.

“Uh, one, pollution,” Tenko said, counting off on his fingers. “Two, your money management sucks and you need to get it together. And three, you’re still giving money to the guy you hate. If you really want to snub him, just shoplift it. Or bootleg it. And speaking of which, that’s exactly what I did.” He gestured vaguely upward.

“Those are bootleg Mickey Mouse ears?”

“Bought ‘em from an artist on Etsy,” Touya said proudly. “The mouse had just sent her a cease-and-desist, so I got a pretty sweet deal.”

“Ten-chan, can I wear them?” Himiko asked. “I’ve always wanted Disney ears!”

He tugged on one of her side-buns, making her squeak. “Don’t waste your money, you already got ‘em.”

---

“I’m in hell,” Touya said serenely, slipping further and further down in his seat. “This is hell, right? It has to be hell.”

“I’m getting more of a purgatorian wasteland vibe,” Tenko remarked. “Like, this isn’t quite on the level of, say, Chuck E. Cheese, in terms of children’s media hope-abandonment, but… I dunno. I can imagine this playing as I eternally wander in search of penance for my past sins, or something.”

“I’m just waiting for one of those furry bastards to step off the stage and straight-up eat a kid,” Touya said, earning a glare from a nearby grandmother. “Like that one, with the guitar and the pouty mouth. Imagine that guy just unhinging his jaw like a snake and swallowing a toddler in the front row.”

“Huh.” Tenko leaned on one hand, squashing his cheek to the side. “Yeah, I could see it.”

Two seats down, Himiko continued to bounce and sing along to the twanging country music, blissfully unaware of the dull-eyed mother of three popping an aspirin and glaring at her.

---

“Okay, so we’ve been through the World Bazaar, Westernland, Adventureland, Critter Country—”

“I wanna go on Splash Mountain again!” Himiko cheered, throwing her hands in the air excitedly. She nearly punched Touya in her enthusiasm, but he quickly sidled out of the way, pulling the map close so that she wouldn’t tear a hole in it by accident.

“We can do that later,” he informed her. “We’re in Fantasyland—hang on, why am I the map guy?”

“You’re the oldest,” Tenko said.

“This trip was your idea! I didn’t even want to come!”

“Really? Because that wasn’t what you said when we got off of Thunder Mountain—” Tenko spotted a nearby face character and hung an immediate left. “Oh hey, I just found our next stop.”

Touya lowered the map. “What? Where? If we want to fit everything in before the park closes, then we have to hurry up and get to—”

“Yeah-yeah-yeah whatever,” Tenko called over his shoulder. “This won’t take long, I just want a quick selfie with Alice.”

Touya caught up to him just so that Tenko would see his incredulous look. “Why?”

Tenko stared back. “Seriously? That’s my favorite Disney movie!”

“Since when?”

“Since I saw it! How do you not know this already?”

“I did!” Himiko piped up. “It’s my favorite, too! I love the Red Queen.”

“No, wait a minute.” Touya squinted at him. “You told me literally an hour ago that your favorite Disney princess was Aurora because, and I quote, ‘I, too, want to sleep for a hundred years and let some other asshole fight a rosebush while I enjoy my coma.’”

“Oh, yeah, I was just being a dick,” Tenko said. “Alice in Wonderland rules. No dead parents bullshit, just eighty minutes of plotless colorful mindfuck.” Before Touya could protest any further, Tenko ducked in to grab his selfie. To his credit, it did take less than a minute. Tenko wasn’t picky about selfies. Unfortunately, Himiko immediately wanted one of her own, which then became three, and then ten…

The Alice jumped, and for a split second she seemed to struggle to stay in character.

“Oops!” Himiko chirped. “Did I pinch you by accident? Sorry!” Before the Alice could reply, Himiko darted back to the boys.

“Okay, you both have your stupid selfies,” Touya said impatiently. “Now can we hurry up and get to—”

“There’s a gift shop!” Himiko shrieked. “I’m gonna go see the gift shop!” Before either of them could answer, she raced off through the crowd.

Touya groaned loudly before Tenko dragged him after her. “Yeah yeah, hurry up and let’s catch up before she stabs someone.”

It was easier said than done; the store was packed and the aisles were almost mazelike. “Is there a fake weapons section?” Touya asked. “We’ll probably find her there.”

“Nah, this is mostly clothes…” Tenko looked around. “Maybe… there! I see her!”

“Where?”

“By the costume dresses, come on!”

Sure enough, to their immense relief, they found her pouting over a rack of child-sized princess dresses, with minimal carnage left in her wake. “None of these will fit me,” she fretted.

“Duh,” Tenko said flatly. “Adults can’t cosplay in the parks or they’ll get confused with the face characters. Kids get a pass because nobody’s gonna mistake a four-year-old for a Disney employee.”

Himiko looked close to wailing as they gently herded her from the store. “But—but—”

“I’ll buy you one online when we get home, now come on before Touya throws a tantrum.”

Touya folded up the park map and slapped him with it.

---

“Guys! Guys! Ten-chan look! Look at that Cinderella! She’s so pretty!”

“Himiko, there’s a line!”

“You can’t just trample children, you’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“Me next! Me next! Ohhhh, I want a dress like that! Ten-chan, won’t I look pretty in that dress?”

“HIMIKO!”

---

“Personally,” Touya remarked as they stood outside the park gates near closing time. “I can’t believe we didn’t get kicked out.”

“We had some close calls,” Tenko said. “I thought we were done for back at the Cinderella castle for sure. Also five minutes ago. I can’t believe we actually got out of that.”

“You guys worry too much!” Himiko said blithely from behind a bush. “I’m very charming.”

Touya scowled. “Himiko, you literally had to turn into a different person and point security in the wrong direction.”

“And they believed me, because I’m charming!” Himiko stepped back out onto the sidewalk, once more clothed and wearing her own face. “Thanks for the clothes, Ten-chan.”

“I figured you were gonna need them at some point.” Tenko rubbed his eyes wearily. “Let’s just go home so I can take an aspirin and sleep.”

“And find a Cinderella dress for me online,” Himiko added.

Tenko’s headache kicked up a notch. “Damn it, I was hoping you forgot.”

“Nope! I remember everything you’ve ever told me.”

---

“Hey Ten-chan. Ten-chan.”

“Yeah, Himiko.”

“I just wanted you to know I was kidding about the princess dress. I don’t even need it!”

“Mm-hm.”

“Wanna know why?”

“Yeah sure.”

“You’re not even looking! You have to look.”

Distracted, Tenko turned to look at her, and promptly fell out of his chair when he found himself staring at the Cinderella face character from the park, smiling Himiko’s smile.

“Is it too much?” The disguise sloughed off of her, revealing the Alice face character instead. “How about this, Ten-chan? You said Alice was your favorite, right?”

“Himiko, what the fuck.”

#my hero academia #shimura tenko #todoroki touya #dabi #toga himiko #commission #fanfiction #tales from the pit #dad night au

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katieelizabeth · 4 years

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What would you call your body type? Definitely curvy

Are you a morning person? Yes and no. I’m taking sleep meds for nausea so right now waking up is kinda hard.

Have you ever been to Target? Loveeeeee Target

Do you like iced tea? Iced tea is always my jam

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Hmm it’s kinda up in the air right now. I’m itching to get back tho.

Do you have a savings account? Yes. one for myself, one with my boyfriend

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Only once.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? Currently grey

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Yes, I wanna say total like 6 times.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? My boyfriend thinks I'm a terrible wrapper hahah

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? If I had to narrow it down, probably Skins.

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Yes and no. I don’t care for holiday dinners with my family but I love holiday dinners with my boyfriends family.

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? I’m not married or engaged but I do wear a small silver band on my ring finger.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to just go and sit down in a restaurant. This virus has everyone living in fear and I'm tired of it and want to live normally and enjoy my pregnancy

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Canada or London

Do you blog a lot, if at all? No not really. I used to when Xanga was big.

Is your present hair color, natural? Nope.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? My boyfriend thinks that anytime my opinion is different than his, then I'm trying to argue with him. It’s so fucking frustrating.

Describe your current outfit? Anaheim Ducks shirt and matching pj pants hahah

What was the last thing you ordered online? Some toothbrushes lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Ive had two best friends in my life completely shut me out before. It sucks.

What color are your eyes? Poop brown

Have you ever worn color contacts? I have but I could never wear them because of the astigmatisms in both my eyes. Lasik was the best decision of my life

What’s the best thing about a hug? Right now I miss everything about hugs

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? Just celebrated three years

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I try to when I can

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 29

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? No, just a reminder than I'm fat

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Amazon, Goodwill

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Necklaces

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Very

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I try not to but everyone is guilty of that

Where are your parents as of now? Watching tv in the tv room

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? I literally just bought it so yes haha

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Kind of

When did you last go to a book store? Gosh it’s been a while!

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble.

How much money do you have on you right now? On hand, $20.

Favorite personal feature? my hair and my lips

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? Bravo, E!, ID, HBO

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? 6 tattoos no piercings

Have you ever been fired from a job? INope

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m good.

Do you play any video games? Not at the moment

Would you say you hate anyone? I feel hatred towards racists, homophobics, ect.

Do you think freckles are cute? Very cute!

Last time you went to the mall? Gosh its been a really long time

Name something that’s your favorite color: anything teal

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yesssss. I want seafood

Do you judge by appearances? Anyone who tells you they don't to some degree is a fucking liar.

Do you follow a certain religion? No thank you

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Im not really sure

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? Pretty much my whole body

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Nope, I'm average height for a girl

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? No not really. The sun doesn’t like my skin haha

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Nope

Do you like dreamcatchers? Not really

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? Depends on the situation

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? BOTH

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? Nope, my mom wouldn't let me growing up

What movie scares you the most? The Exorcist. I can watch the movie now no problem but it FUCKED up my childhood.

What was your bedtime as a child? 9. I remember watching Happy Days from 8-9

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: Who doesn't love Christmastime?

Do you work with any close friends? I work with my baby daddy

Do you consider yourself spoiled? I would say in some way I'm probably spoiled

Do you listen to any country music? yes

Favorite high school teacher: I don’t specifically remember any high school teachers I liked. Probably my French teacher. He was super cool!

Do you ever get drunk? Of course. Can’t drink yet tho until after baby

Have you ever had highlights before? Nope

Favorite number: 7,10

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? Not anymore. I used to for a a long time

What is your biggest regret in life? Eh I've got a few

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? Depression/anxiety. Ive taken meds for it

Are you normally an independent person? I like to think myself as independent but my boyfriend sure takes care of me. I dunno what id do without him

Do you have any paintings? a few

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? anything from the early 2000s haha

Do you like to be organized? Do I like it? Yes. Am I organized? NO

Have you ever failed a class before? oh yes

Ever been judged because of your weight? All the time. Not so much as an adult tho

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? Nope

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No way

Do you own any coloring books? Yes haha those adult ones

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I can’t think of anything specific. Probably fat

Have you ever bullied someone? I likely have, unfortunately :(

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Only for the reality shows

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? God no

Do you own any brown clothing? Hmmm I don’t think so

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: I’m drinking decaf coffee

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? Nope

What is the first digit of your phone number? 9

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? Anywhere in England

Do you tend to sleep a lot? yes and no. I’m taking sleeping meds but it’s hard for me to fall asleep

Silver or gold jewelry? Silver

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Not usually. My boyfriends family Is out of state tho

Have you ever been in love? Yes.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? My unborn child

When was the last time you showered? Last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? Sometimes yes

Has anyone made you mad today? Nope

Favorite smell: Vanilla

Are you afraid of insects? I wouldn't say afraid

Do you have any children? I’ve got one cookin in the oven haha

If so, what are their names? I’ll tell you when I know the gender

Would ever consider having children in the future? MORE children? Lets see how traumatized this first one is haha

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? Oh yes, played soccer till I was 18

Do both of your parents have jobs? They're both retired from jobs they were at for 40+ years

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? Its a tie between South Africa, London and Colorado

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Not anymore. Being an adult means getting over that haha

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? oh yes!

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? Just the standard apple ringtone

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Not that I can think of

Ever been obsessed with a show? Ive been obsessed with many shows

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? English Laundry Signature

What’s the last book you read? The book that Ted Bundys girlfriend wrote

Dream career: Zooologist

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes, in Colorado

At what age do you plan to get married? Not sure, we aren't in a rush to marry

Ever been in a car accident? Yes, three

6 notes · View notes

la-paritalienne · 5 years

Note

also reply to all the quetions.. 50k words for each one

vfghjklkgk this is quite demanding but quite funny and cute so.

♡

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please! — mmm i feel like i’m at the gates of a new life bc i’m truly about to start looking for a job and i guess i’m like… nostalgic for something that i haven’t really left behind yet? i might have ups and downs but i love my life, being ‘free’ all day, talking to my friends, going to the gym whenever etc… it’s kind of scary that everything is about to change, i’ll have real responsibilities and a tight schedule and idk, it’s just going to be different and possibly how the rest of my life could look indefinitely. but i’m also also excited, and also very grateful for what i have, i’m having a very nice night and i love my friends

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? — bits and pieces of my life. it’s small moments but they mean everything. being on the beach with no worries at all. going to the cinema with my brother to see the new star wars movie, how i’m always about to tear up as it starts. crying happy tears in the metro while going the gym. how i feel when i see my parents at the airport in rome and everything that might weighing me down

lemon; what’s your comfort food? — it has to include lots of melted cheese and possibly carbs, so either pizza or a grilled cheese sandwich basically, but also a parmigiana di melanzane wouldn’t be half bad

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? — idk if i believe in this concept, especially when it comes to songs… like music is supposed to be music and there’s no guilt in listening to like, ‘lighter’ stuff i guess? like i would say ‘what makes you beautiful’ but that pleasure is so not guilty… maybe atm i kinda feel like that with ‘dove e quando’ by benji e fede but like… it’s a jam so gjggkgkg ok this is a stupid reply, i’m sorry!

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of! — mmmmm just discovered i’m not sure, but quite recently (beginning on this summer) this amazing artist named skott who also has a new song out these days (still need to listen to it)

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home? — mm… a while ago i would have said here and only here in paris but tbh, my parents’ home in rome also always feels like home, although in a different way, as if i go back to being younger, a slightly different version of myself back there. so yeah, maybe paris would be the number one place, but where my family is, i feel at home, also at the seaside.

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? — myself, my mom, my dad and my brother

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend. — i have a few very close friends and i love them all a looot, but i’ll choose one in particular for the purposes of this reply, sooo. ummm i love her so much and i want to be there for her no matter what, i think she’s super fun and we have great times together, but we also talk about serious stuff, she’s been there for me through a lot. she’s interesting and cute, but also quite a deep and complex person, which is something i really appreciate and find quite fascinating, like i love being around people like that, i love when they share thoughts / ideas / views of the world that i wouldn’t have come up with myself, i find it enriching. of course i wish she was always happy and serene and that’s not always the case, but who is? and i mean, she’s my friend, i just love the whole package. she is an amazing listener and for that i’ll never stop being grateful, gives amazing advice, has the best stories that often make me crack tf up, great taste in music and in general... and a lot more

golden deep; what’s your favorite season? — i love summer, but i also like a chilly autumn, especially on a sunny day, with the wind kind of brisk… but not necessarily, rainy days are cool too and idk, autumn is underrated but i love it, i love how cosy it feels, how comforting it feels when the weather sucks and you don’t feel ‘guilty’ for lazying around the house, how sweating at the gym becomes more satisfactory, love layered clothes etc… yay

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off? — go to the gym, make a meal for myself (i like making big salads with lots of different things in them, especially if some elements require cooking, it feels like a treat to me bc i normally don’t have the time / the energy for actual cooking), indulge in some dessert, a walk by myself or with some friend…

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? — yes, my friends are quite dependable (hope this is the right word?), like maybe not all of them all the time, but there’s always someone willing to listen. + my brother

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? — why not both gkgkggkgk but i’m actually more productive in the morning and i don’t really mind starting my day as soon as i wake up, so i’ll go for evenings.

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? — i replied to this one but not right now, the i-land was cool tho!

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? — i think i’m a mix of both in a way that like… i’m neither?? i try to be analytical but i’m too emotional and i guess i’m creative but i’m not truly an artist so i really don’t know, maybe from the outside someone could interpret me better? if i think about it, i think i manage to be quite analytical when it comes to others, but as far as i’m personally concerned, i live in fantasy, hypothesis, this sort of nostalgic and ‘artsy’ world of mine, maybe?

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? — nothing that comes to my mind like that, my favorite artists don’t exactly bring me peace, i like art that’s kind of exciting and often colorful (matisse, kandinsky, picasso, rothko) so i’m not sure, but my parents have the print of a beautiful gaugin painting in their room, and that’s always reminded me of home and calm and it’s also gorgeous, so i generally associate gauguin’s girls to this peaceful, blissful feeling.

english red; what animal do you relate to most? — a house cat. lazy but at times gets the urge to jump around and tire itself just so then they can lay on the sofa with more satisfaction. eating is what makes it get up 90 per cent of the time. cuddlier and more affectionate than it looks

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? — mmmm i love a british accent but i also love lots of italian accents, especially on my friends, like if i associate it to them i like it even more.

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? — not really, i just want to be loved tbh. i mean of course there’s some personality traits that i always find attractive and i had a gym girl phase but i wouldn’t say i have a type, i’m open to anything

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. — well she’s gorgeous, talented, an advocate for body positivity, an amazing singer, feminist icon, savvy businesswoman, looks good w any kind of hair, she’s richer than beyoncé and also nicer tbh... she has a makeup brand which i’m obsessed with, a lingerie brand, a (super expensive sadly) clothing brand... the most amazing eyes....... i love her

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? — mm nice dinner somewhere cosy and warm but not too noisy so we can talk, ideally there’s no awkward silences and we just talk about ourselves, find out we have some stuff in common, there’s laughter etc. nothing extra, just a nice night with someone i like

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? — like the first one but we know each other better so maybe something even chiller like a picnic or a dinner at home??

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? — yeah i mean it depends on the mood, the chemistry, the connection etc. also like if it’s a date w someone i already knew then that’s more likely to happen, if it’s a date that kind of started off like a date... idk, not exactly blind but like we haven’t exactly been friends before, then maybe there’s some pressure and i’m not sure if that would happen, but i wouldn’t say no as a rule.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? — a friend of mine from the gym and her daughter (also a friend but i know the mom better) spontaneously offered to help me with my curriculum, to make it look prettier and more appealing. i mean it’s nothing huge and i could mention my friends or my family but i think it’s clear that i love them and that they’re a positive part of my life, so i thought i’d share this little bit of unexpected kindness that i’ve been receiving.

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? — mahmood’s concert!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? — an airy, luminous apartment in paris, not necessarily huge but bigger than the one i have right now, neatly furnished w the kind of stuff i would reblog on tumblr bc it’s so aesthetic, lots of white, gold and pops of color like dusty pink, peach, yellow. ancient parquet, high ceilings, white walls but maybe not all of them... like some color could be nice but that will depend on how the house is structured. a fireplace w mirror above (classic parisian), huge windows, a balcony big enough for a table where i can have breakfast in the sun and a chaise where i can tan and relax, and a beautiful view. a fancy bathroom with beautiful tiles or a mosaic, a bath tub is mandatory. and i’d like a walk-in closet

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? — i think i’ve settled where i like, but who knows!

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? — not exactly, like when i realized paris felt like home i thought ‘so maybe i have no idea what i want to do with my life, but at least i know where i wanna be’ so that’s it

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? — probably tunisia, but i’ve recently been to normandy and i feel like i left a piece of my heart there, i feel like it’s going to be a special place for me, where i’ll go back often and make memories, if that makes sense

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? — i think last night (when i started replying to this) simply because i was having fun w a friend. i’m not in a bad mood now but it’s like normal, plus i’m talking to my mom bc my grandma broke her foot so there’s stress in the air

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? — ooooh just last night i dreamed that i was babysitting the kids i used to babysit until last year, they had two houses and they were old enough to be alone in one of them as i cleaned the other, which i didn’t have to do tho bc the floor was already wet as if someone had just cleaned it, which made me happy! i then had to wash some dishes but the kids arrived and we started eating leftovers

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? — (mom, dad, brother (2 years younger than me) and luna, fluffy, fat, adorably mean huge cat, she’s 15 but super healthy (except for neurotically licking her own belly so much that she has no hair there -.-), she’s our love) i had read what does your family look like gjgjgffjgfkgkgkgmfmgkk sorryyyy luckily i checked. well then in that case my wife, two kids (ideally the eldest is a girl and then a boy but like gender is a social construct you know) and definitely a cat or two

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? — i do! no, i don’t think so. sometimes i think about how names are just names and like... we’re people beyond that but at the same time i feel like i am my name, you know? so i’m cool with it and i couldn’t see myself w another

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? — the one that comes out of bakeries, like fresh bread or cakes, so distinctive and warming... mlmlmlml

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? — i love tea in general, but black rose & vanilla tea is my absolute fav

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? — i don’t have a green thumb, i think, but peonies first of all

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? — probably, idk if i’d show my face bc i think i’d feel weird, but maybe after a while if i get comfortable? why not? you get a community who cares about you and most of all the chance to distract / entertain people and maybe even help them through hard times. ...and gifts djgjgkgkkgjk

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. — gjgkhkhk a challenge but i appreciate it, i can’t be all words and no facts about body positivity. it’s minute, slightly curvy, decently toned, stronger than it looks, and it’s healthy

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? — i see a light blue sky, my feet sink in the grass but just a bit, the grass is not extremely high (otherwise i’d freak about there being insects that i can’t notice), on the horizon it looks like a pastel colored painting bc there’s flowers. i hear the birds singing and the sound of a light breeze

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? — i can’t complain, but a job would be grand (i mean... i don’t really want to work and i don’t think that’s what makes you accomplished as a person, but it’s capitalism baby)

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? — japan, mexico, tanzania. yes for the last one bc i know someone who’s just moved there and she invited me and my mom to go visit.

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? — italian bc i’m italian and french bc i live in france... sadly no others, but i want to. i’ve always wanted to learn arabic or japanese, but maybe i’ll start w something simpler and more similar to what i know already

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? — i can’t choose one, i have too many that touched my life at the time i read them and made me go like wow, this is my fave. i’ll mention: the red and the black by stendhal, the enchanted mountain by thomas mann, persuasion by jane austen, the remains of the day and never let me go by ishiguro, the trilogy of the city of k by agota kristoff...

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? — i’ll start a book called sorcières (witches) and i’m curious and excited about it, i’ll let you know

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? — the holy trinity of my happy go to movies: monster in law, mean girls and the devil wears prada

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? — going to the gym!

umber; have you drank enough water today? — the day has just started and i’ve had two cups of tea. i try to stick to 2lt per day, but i’ve not been able to do it recently, which i plan to change.

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? — ghgkhkgkfkgk i thought for a second this was about a clothing store outlet. normally i try and talk it out w one of my friends, my mom or brother if it’s very serious or not something i wanna burden my friends with, but i also distract myself with some tv show or (yay capitalism -.-) retail therapy

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. — a nice chat w a friend, an exhausting workout, finding (or being suggested) new music that i immediately feel myself getting obsessed with, saying yes to spontaneous, last minute plans and really enjoying myself although i often have that moment of ‘i don’t want to go’, being sent photos or memes

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? — probably something that ‘golden ochre’ said to me... but also something that really warms my heart is when my friend eleonora says that i’m the smartest person she knows and like... really means it. i don’t think she’s right, it’s not even about the compliment per se, but that’s she’s so serious when she says it, it makes me happy

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? — light grey parisian skies, a pink sunrise over the sea, glittery makeup... glittery everything tbh, notebooks filled w memories - pressed flowers, cinema tickets, photos of places i loved... mermaids, fluffy cats, pastel colors, tiny gold jewelry, a decadent buffet, a bouquet of peonies, huge empty beaches, a walk-in closet filled with incredible clothes, lana del rey x vogue italia june 2019

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! — fhgjgkgkg this is the most recent, closest thing i have to a selfie that’s not w some other people. it’s from pride and i was happy of my rainbow eye makeup but it doesn’t even show... sorryyyyy

thank you for asking all of theseeee ♡

#Anonymous #thank u❤️

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mskschik-mua · 6 years

Text

Growing Up, Letting Go, Moving On...

Admittedly, I am a different person due to certain people that were once in my life. A long time ago I was not someone who was riddled with anxiety over certain things; I dared not to show too much emotion in fear that it would be used against me. It was not easy for me to let people close, to break down those walls and let people in, in fear of them seeing the person that I am – the person that I am in my loneliest of moments when there is no one else around to see who I really am.

I’ve done some growing up this past year and I don’t mean the aging kind. Everybody ages, but not everyone ages at the same rate mentally – sometimes you need to learn something, sometimes you need to let go of someone, other times it is a little bit of both. As you grow you learn lessons that need to be had, that give you new outlooks on life, that give you the closure or the eye opening that you so desperately need at a certain point in your life.

For me that point in my life began last year:

I had been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of thinking about the previous year, the last five years and the last decade of my life and as I thought back to those moments that stood out to me more than others, I saw my life in an entirely different light and quite honestly, I don’t think that I will ever be able to look back on those memories as I once had.

Not too long ago, I spoke of having to let go of three people who at one time were very important to me, I thought of them as the sisters that I did not have. It hurt me to have to let go of them, it made me physically ill to do so, but it was quite possibly one of the absolute best decisions that I could have made. It was that decision that gave me my new outlook on life and it also took a very large, boulder like weight off my shoulders.

I felt like my soul could breathe again, I felt like the weight that I had been carrying for years was finally taken off of my hands and finally allowed to reach out for the help that I was desperately, but silently screaming for. I was finally allowed to be the person that I wanted to be, but was being held back from. I was once a person that had to fight for mere control over my personal life because I was friends with a group of people that were so full compassing that it was like they were taking over every part of the life that I had even outside of school. If things weren’t done they wanted them done, you were made to feel like an outsider – if you spoke to someone they didn’t like, defended someone that they thought didn’t need it, spent time with family, didn’t have Facebook (more on that later), weren’t on MSN at a certain time, watched a specific show and so on and so on.

It wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t see it. These people were so self obsessed and so controlling that slowly my need for some sort of self control seeped into my relationships outside of this little group and I almost ruined a relationship with someone that I loved very much because I just couldn’t deal with the emotional upheaval that I felt every time I saw that she so much as e-mailed me because I could barely deal with my daily emotions at that point in time. I would openly avoid a social media platform for years simply because I didn’t want to have to deal with another aspect of my life that they would force themselves to be a part of. These people were not good friends, in fact, as I look back on those memories, I think about how very cult like those friendships were.

You needed to share a mentality, you needed to hate the same people, you needed to speak about people in a certain way, you couldn’t have a differing opinion and I don’t know if it was just me, but in some ways I wasn’t allowed to not spend a lunch with someone else, I wasn’t even allowed to defend a family member (it just so happened that I went to school with one of my cousins and was in the same grade as she was) when they were spoken ill of, watch certain shows, openly like certain movies or sports. You couldn’t cause too much drama, you couldn’t do anything without the permission of certain members of the group and if you did, you were made to feel like you were on the outside looking in.

In one word, it was toxic. These people would openly speak about a person behind their back when they were only mere steps away, they would use inside jokes to show you just how negatively you were spoken about when you were not around, they would make plans that didn’t include you as you stood there with only your cell phone as solace as you struggled to make excuses as to why you didn’t even want to go in the first place or why it was okay that they weren’t inviting you along. They judged a person, but would complain about being judged themselves. It was not healthy; it was not a supportive group unless you were one of the select few.

I don’t know how many times my generosity was taken advantage of during that time. Concert tickets that were bought, but never paid back for (but, I had to pay them back when they were the ones that bought the tickets). Lunches that were bought out of kindness, but the favour was never returned or had to be paid back when I was running low on cash. Emotionally charged gifts that I would break my back over putting together, but were ever only reciprocated with cheap trinkets that held little emotional value to them.

It was their way or the highway in some cases. This one time we were doing a project for English and it needed to be filmed or performed live in front of the class and they wanted to film on a Saturday that I needed to visit my maternal grandparents (it was the anniversary of uncle’s death – an occasion that my grandmother always takes hard and we as a family always try to be with both her and my grandfather either on the actual anniversary or the weekend before or after) and I was told that I was being selfish, that I wasn’t thinking about the rest of the group when it came to all of this even though I had offered that we do it either on the following Sunday, we could do it a day after school when no one was working or during a spare period that a few of us shared. But, no, I was selfish, I just had to go and see my grandparents this weekend instead of some other weekend – like I was the one who made a decision like this for my parents. The only reason I didn’t get more shit from their feeble, self centered minds was because my cousin who was also in our English group stepped in and gave them her two cents (and she’s not even on my maternal side of the family, she’s my paternal cousin).

This was not an easy time in my life – I always gave more than I got out of those friendships and was always in fear that if I said anything about that I would be left behind like we had done to so many others that had once been part of the group. I was always the rock, I was always the one that they went to for support – in a way I thought that this meant I was one of the select few that would be supported when I would need it the most, but I was always let down. My problems never mattered in comparison to those that I always let lean on my already heavy shoulders. I wasn’t allowed to take care of myself, to say no, to say that I couldn’t listen to their problems when I had my own, to give myself that mental health break that I so desperately needed. I always shouldered everyone when they needed it the most, but they always turned it around to their own problems when I needed that ear, when I needed that shoulder.

I would have been upset about it then had they left me behind, but it would have been a blessing in disguise.

For years, I was broken – I was a shell, I was not the person that I was meant to be simply because I didn’t think that I would be able to live without the friendships that I had built with them. I didn’t pursue my dream of going to Ryerson to earn that degree in English that I originally wanted, simply because someone said that I would get bored. I almost gave up on Wedding /Party Planning because someone said that I wouldn’t be good enough.

There are moments in a person’s life when they are just done. Done being spoken to a certain way, done with not being able to show any kind of emotion, done being treated like a punching bag because of the way they are, the emotions that get to them, the tendencies they have that they just can’t help, because they can be so different from what they once were. I reached that point this time last year. I had enough of being treated like I was anything less than the person that I knew I wanted to be.

Before last year, all I wanted was to be able to think my own thoughts without being questioned, say the things I want to say without fearing repercussion – I have achieved all of that, but there is so much that I want to do, want to achieve out of life and letting go of those people that broke me down, made me feel empty, made me feel less than I was still hurts because I love the people that I thought they were, I miss the people that I shared so many memories with, but I couldn’t go on living like that.

Last summer, I began the journey to being who I want to be and who I want to be is someone that owns their own Multi Business where my love of Wedding/Party Planning meets my love of Makeup Artistry, where I can build a one stop shop for brides, for grooms, for anyone planning a wedding or an event – I want to be a good and fair boss that knows she can trust her employees because they respect me as not only their higher up, but also as a person. I want to be a person who isn’t afraid to show their love of baseball, hockey or wrestling, to be someone who likes watching action movies on a first date(or date in general) because rom-coms are better saved for a girl’s night with my best friend or my mother (without either of who I probably wouldn’t be surviving this difficult time in my life). I want to be someone who can go and visit their family without feeling an ounce of guilt – I want to be able to give, but also receive the amount of love I give to the world. I want to be able to show the emotions I hold back because I know that they won’t be used against me. I want to live my dreams so that they may become my reality.

Above you may see the same face, the same eyes and the similar hair, but below the surface eight years ago there was a girl that was fighting to just stay above water, but now, there’s a woman who got the breath of air, who found the strength to fight and she’s going to hug that little girl and she’s going to keep on fighting for her.

#about the artist #mua #makeup #makeup blogger #hair #hair blogger #nails #nail blogger #blog #blogger #mskschik

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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A - Appearance. What are you wearing? A pink Adidas t-shirt dress.

What are on your feet right now? Socks with Piglet on them.

What color are your fingernails? They’re not painted.

What does your hair look like right now? It’s really short.

B - Best Friend Who is your best friend? My mom.

What was the last thing you two did together? Went out for breakfast and a movie.

What is (s)he doing right now? She’s watching TikToks. My mom is obsessed lol.

Are you talking to her/him online right now? No, we’re sitting in the same room right now I could just talk to her in person.

C - Crush. Who is (s)he? I don’t have one.

What does (s)he look like? -- What was the last thing you two talked about? --

Does (s)he make you smile? --

D - Dad What’s your dad’s name? I don’t want to put that out there.

What does he do for a living? He works at a Honda repair shop.

What was the last thing you two did together? Watched TV.

Do you get along better with him than your mother? We get along, but I’m closer to my mom.

E - Ebay. Have you ever bought anything from ebay? Yeah.

Do you just shop around when you’re online? Not on Ebay, but I do online shop pretty often. I usually check out Ebay when Christmas shopping for certain things that I think I might be able to get for a lower price.

Do you know anybody who is addicted to it? No.

Have you ever sold anything on it? No.

F - Facebook. When was the last time you logged on? Well, I’m always logged in, but the last time I checked my Facebook was a couple hours ago.

How many friends do you have? 100 and something.

Do you hate when your facebook chat messes up? I haven’t used it in awhile or really much at all, but I don’t remember that being an issue when I did.

Who was the last person to leave you a wall post? I don’t remember who the last person was, but several people left a post on my wall when it was my birthday.

G - Google. Do you Google everything? I do Google quite a lot.

What was the last thing you Googled? A definition.

Would you ever trade Google in for Bing? Pfft, no. Bing was lame.

What do you Google the most? I don’t know, random shit. Anything and everything that comes to mind, really haha.

H - Hair. Do you like your hair? No. I’m growing it out and it’s really short at at an awkward stage. It’s also not red anymore, which makes me sad. Good thing for wigs in the meantime.

What color is your hair? Dark brown.

What does it look like right now? See what I said up there.

What kind of shampoo for you use? Dove.

I - Ibuprofen When was the last time you took ibuprofen? It’s been several years.

Do you rely on it for everything (cramps, headache)? --

Are you so thankful people made it? A lot of people benefit from it, including myself in the past, and it’s convenient to get. I don’t like taking it because it upsets my stomach but even worse is the fact that I have to crush my pills and let me tell you, crushed Ibuprofen is absolutely disgusting. Like, I literally have to fight to keep it down because it’s so bad. It doesn’t mix well at all. I’m glad I have something else for my pain that is tolerable.

Do you have any right now? I think we have some in our medicine drawer.

J - Jobs. Do you need a job? No.

Where do you work? Nowhere.

Where would you work? I really don’t know.

How much money would you like to get paid? Uhh, I mean enough to be financially stable at least of course. If I could get paid more, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed haha.

K - Kissing. Who was the last person you kissed? Joseph.

Will you next kiss be a mistake? Why is this question in so many surveys?

Do you kiss someone everyday? Nope. It’s been a long time since I’ve kissed someone.

Who was your first kiss? My boyfriend at the time in high school, Derek.

L - Love. Who do you love the most in your life? My parents and brother.

Have you ever been in love before? Yes.

Does it make you so happy when you feel the feeling of love? It’s a nice feeling for sure.

Why is this word so hard to describe? Because everyone feels love differently. < There we go. <<<

M - Mom. What is your mom’s name? I don’t want to put that out there.

What is she doing right now? She’s practicing her Spanish on Duolingo.

Where does she work? Walgreens.

Do you two shop together a lot? Yeah.

N - Netflix.

Do you have Netflix? I’m on the family plan that my mom pays for.

If not, what movies would you order? I’ve never ordered movies from Netflix. I don’t even know if they still do that. I totally forgot that was a thing at one point.

Do you rent a lot of movies? Like I said, I’ve never rented a movie from Netflix.

Do you have the tool where it just downloads to your tv? No?

O - Ohio. Is this the state in which you live in? Nope.

Is Ohio State your favorite football team? I don’t have a favorite football team, I don’t like football.

Did you know Ohio Is For Lovers? Yep. Aw, I loved Hawthorne Heights during my emo phase in high school. “I can’t make it on my ownnnnnn because my heart is in Ohioooooo so cut my wrist and black my eyessss so I can fall asleep tonight, or die.”

Have you ever been to Ohio? Nope.

Q - Quitting. What was the last thing you quit doing? Hmm.

Do you need to quit talking to someone right now? No.

Would you ever quit school? There were times I certainly wanted to, but ultimately I wanted to finish and I did. It was definitely hard at times to keep pushing through, though. Don’t you think quitting is stupid? No.

R - Reading. What was the last book you read? I’m curently reading the 2nd book in a new series I just started called, “A Perfect Wife” by Elle Gray.

Do you own a lot of books? Yeah.

Do you have a library card? Nope.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? The Bible has made an impact on me.

S - Safety. Do you always wear your seat belt? Always.

When riding a four-wheeler do you wear a helmet? I’ve never ridden one or have any desire to.

Did you ever wear knee pads and a helmet when riding your bike? I’ve never ridden a bike.

Do you always think safety first? I mean, yeah.

T - Talk Who was the last person you talked to? My mom.

Who are you talking to right now? I was just talking to my mom.

Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? My mom, lol.

Do you need to talk to anybody right now? No.

U - US ARMY Do you support it? Yes.

Do you know anybody who is in the army right now? No.

Don’t you ever wonder why their camo doesn’t match anything? I’ve never thought about that.

Would you ever go to the army? No.

V - Virgin. Are you a virgin? Yes.

When did you lose your virginity? --

Do you wish you would’ve waited? --

Do you think you could have stayed a virgin until marriage? I don’t want to get married.

W - What. What are you doing right now besides this survey? I was talking to my mom, drinking my milkshake, and watching TV.

What are you craving? My nightly bowl of ramen. I don’t know how I haven’t gotten tired of it lol like I literally have it every night and have been doing so for a couple years.

What do you need to buy? There isn’t anything I need at the moment, but there’s a few things I want.

Why are you taking my survey? It’s one I haven’t done and looked interesting.

X -Xanax Do you know anybody who is addicted to Xanax? Not that I know of.

Have you ever taken it before? Yes.

Do you even know what it is? Well, yeah.

Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? I do suffer from anxiety and depression.

Y - Yourself. Name. Stephanie.

Age. 32.

Do you smile a lot? Not so much nowadays.

Z - Zebra. Are you addicted to zebra striped? No.

Do you own anything zebra striped? Nope.

Is anything on any of your websites zebra striped? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #themed #abcs

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