#and while i did love how the harsh truths of the world were used to break the barbies out of the brainwashing

[htylmg]

the barbie movie was obviously brilliant, but the moment that stood out to me the most was that raw pain and anger and grief in america’s voice as she gave her speech on how women are expected to be perfect. the dead silence in the background, the way the shot went from her to her wide-eyed daughter to the tired and increasingly horrified barbies. that moment sticks out to me the most because of how much i am sure america and those other women were not acting, dropping the façades of their roles and tapping into that exhaustion and pain that everyone, especially women, under the patriarchy has. it was raw and beautiful and so so so needed greta gerwig the woman you are

#barbie 2023 #barbie #barbie spoilers #barbie movie #the barbie movie #and while i did love how the harsh truths of the world were used to break the barbies out of the brainwashing #the original speech struck a chord so deep within me i didn’t even know it existed #this movie is making me rethink so so much of what i thought i knew FUCK #anywyas every single person involved in the making of this movie deserves 1000000 awards each #🐋.txt

[blues824]

Once Upon A Dream

Gender-neutral reader, a tad self-indulgent. References a train, but could reference a dress, tailcoats, a cape of some fabulous sort, etc. 

Use of the word officiant, but I meant it in a way where he marries the two of you, and I did not use any religious traditions; just headcanon fae traditions. Also uses the word bridesmaids, but I did not describe reader as a ‘bride’.

Pricking of fingers on a spinning wheel, blood.

Malleus Draconia

It was a joyful day within Briar Valley. Everyone was rushing to put the finishing touches on their homes and stores, decorating with the most beautiful flowers anyone has ever seen. The whole town was bustling with excitement and magic. Farmers from the outskirts of the land were coming in on their wagons filled with even more flowers so no one would worry about running out.

You looked outside of your window in your silk pajamas to see all of the preparations being made for your big day. You took a huge whiff of fresh air, and you could smell the freshness of the floral arrangements. Someone then knocked on the door, and you smiled as you gently opened the door to reveal a maid and a manservant holding your attire. Just seeing the outfit brought joy to your heart and a smile to your face.

For years, you had been imagining this day: your wedding day. 

The maid helped you bathe and moisturize and spray perfume on, before helping you into the wedding attire. It had a bit of a train in the back, so she had to call over the manservant to help hold the train in place. Your hair was arranged with a crown of blossoming flowers, and you were given a bouquet. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you let out a gasp at how different but similar you looked.

The servants who were helping you get ready were all very friendly and excited, despite you being human and they being fae folk. Actually, a lot of the citizens within the town and all of the land of Briar Valley thought you were beautiful and kind, just like your friends back at NRC did… just like your fiancé did as well. 

Oh yes, everyone was making a big deal of the wedding that day because you were marrying Malleus Draconia, the Crowned Prince of Briar Valley. Queen Maleficia herself approved of this match, as she had never seen her grandson so in love and so happy with someone by his side, and said that after your wedding ceremony, she would relinquish the crown to the prince so that he would be King and you would be his Spouse and Co-Ruler.

Unfortunately, your bridesmaids would be some of the ladies you had made friends with here in Briar Valley. All of your family were still back in your world, a place you still couldn’t get to yet. It didn’t sadden you too much, though, because you could start a whole new life here in Twisted Wonderland.

You had already been through the training and lessons on how to be both a person of the court and a ruler. However, you did not see your fiancé for much of that time. Instead, you became quite close to both the current Queen and Lilia. You went through a lot of harsh history lessons, mostly consisting of the disagreements between humans and faes.

Your marriage would be one of genuine love between human and fae kind, not one of convenience or alliance.

The sentence was heavier on your head than the floral crown you were wearing, probably because of the truth it held. You loved Malleus with all your heart, which is why you dealt with walking with books on your head, with sword fighting, with saying hello to multiple different nobles within the kingdom, with not seeing him as you were in training…

You had no magic, and you were fully capable of doing all of this to prove your love and dedication not just to your husband-to-be, but the kingdom you were going to rule. It was enough for the people and the Queen to be proud, because you cast aside your differences and tried to learn.

Eventually, the maid that made her appearance this morning led you by the hand out to the castle’s entrance while the manservant followed behind, holding up the train of your outfit. The other servants were all at the sides of the corridors and halls as you made your way, congratulating you and wishing you good fortune. You would see them later, at the actual celebration once the ceremony had commenced.

One thing that was part of fae culture, specifically with weddings, was that the newlyweds had to prick their finger upon a spinning wheel so as to bind their beings together as one whole. You saw a wagon being loaded up with such a wheel. It was going to be the front of the procession, as you made your way to the meadow where the wedding was taking place.

The maid helped you onto the unicorn (yes, a unicorn), as it would have been a bit of a walk in the shoes you had on. You let out a gasp at how beautiful it was, and you ran your hand through its soft mane before you were joined by Sebek and Silver (dressed in the groomsmen attire) at your sides. They were on horseback, and they were there to make sure you made it to the altar safely. After all, Malleus and Maleficia would have their heads if you were kidnapped or harmed at all.

You looked and saw that Sir Zigvolt was close to tears, and you, with a smile, asked if he required a handkerchief. This just made a hint of a smile appear on his and Sir Silver’s face as he wiped away his tears. No matter how much pressure you were put under, you always managed to put your friends first as well as maintain a sense of humor. 

Lilia rode up next to them and told them to straighten their posture. He was in his more mature form, taking you a bit by surprise. In all of the years you have known Lilia, you would never have described him as serious. But here he was, in his general’s formal attire, hair long and tied up in a ponytail, commanding a small battalion to trail behind you.

This was a bit much, wasn’t it?

Well, it was too late to ask, since now your handmaidens and manservants had taken their place right behind you and in front of the battalion. Then, the procession started. The castle gate rose to let you and your parade through, and all of the citizens of the town were making their way to the same meadow you were going to right now. All of the decorations upon the houses and stores were so beautiful up close, rather than when you saw them on a balcony.

Looking forward, you saw that you were coming upon the gates of the actual city where the castle resided. You forgot how big the entirety of Briar Valley was. It hit you extra hard when you realized that this meant that the lords and ladies would be there as well. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and even the common folk. The entire land would be there and attending the festivities that would come after you and Malleus pricked your fingers.

On the side of the road, there was a little child who pulled at his mother’s skirt and pointed at you in amazement. You gave a small wave and he squealed in excitement, making you smile. But, you continued onward through the main street. It wasn’t too long before you reached the edge of the forest.

Inside the forest, there would be a green meadow where everything should be set up, aside from the spinning wheel. You’ve been there when you and Malleus were planning the wedding, and it was one of the few times you were actually able to see your fiancé. He looked very happy to hold you in his arms again… even if it was just for about five minutes.

Yeah, they were very strict on you both not seeing each other too much, as it could cause a distraction for either of you. You slept on entirely different ends of the castle just so the two of you wouldn’t be up to anything suspicious. However, you were able to dine with each other in the dining hall, as there were servants who were monitoring the both of you. It was very annoying, but once you and him were joined in matrimony, you would see each other much more.

The trees were beautiful, and covered with moss. The sun shone through the leaves in little patches of sunlight on the ground. Whenever you passed through the rays, it made you feel its warmth upon your skin. Seeing all of the green made you feel more and more excited about what was to come in a few short moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Malleus had to admit that he had never been more nervous than how he was now. He was standing, awaiting his fiancé at the altar. Everyone was making their way to their seats, excited for the reception after the ceremony. None of them could see how sweaty the prince’s hands had gotten in the short amount of time he had been there.

Perhaps you had second thoughts? It was understandable, considering this would be a huge responsibility placed on your shoulder as a magicless human, something you were kind of used to but also very tired of. But you expressed such excitement when he proposed to you, so that wouldn’t be very reasonable.

What if you were kidnapped or hurt on the way here? Oh, if something happened, someone would die. Whoever would have been audacious enough to rob him of his wedding day to his beloved would pay the hefty price. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his grandmother looking up at the sky to see a dark cloud that was forming. Malleus shook his head to snap out of it, when he heard the ‘all rise’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You took a deep breath and stepped forward into the meadow from off of the path. The sun was shining bright, and you were fighting for your life to try and see where you were stepping. There were gasps as you got to the row furthest from the altar, which is when everyone stood up. The spinning wheel went first down the aisle and was placed on the left side of your groom. The wheel was followed by the groomsmen and bridesmaids. 

Speaking of, your heart fluttered upon seeing Malleus waiting for you. You could feel yourself tearing up as the realization hit you once again: you were getting married. Suddenly, all of the eyes on you didn’t matter. All that mattered was Malleus, since you both would be bound together as one for all of eternity.

Then, you started walking down the aisle. More gasps sounded, and you laughed while tearing up even more. Your fiancé also started tearing up a bit, smiling. Queen Maleficia thought the scene was absolutely adorable, reminding her of her wedding to her husband oh-so-many years ago. She wished you both the same amount of happiness in your marriage that she had with her true love.

Once you made it to your spot at the altar, your very-soon-to-be-husband whispered to you that you looked like you were getting married, trying to distract you from the tears that were swelling up in his eyes. You giggled as you said that yeah, I’m getting married to you. His smile said a million more things than words ever could portray, and the officiant started performing the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Crowned Prince Malleus Draconia to Y/N L/N, for the betterment not only of themselves but also for the Kingdom of Briar Valley. Now, without further ado, Your Royal Highness, if you wouldn’t mind taking off your gloves and pricking your finger upon the spinning wheel.”

You watched as the dragon fae removed his black gloves and leaned over to prick his finger. A spot of blood remained on both the wheel and his finger, and he brought his digit to his mouth to lick off the blood. He saw you watching him and gave you a wink. 

“Y/N L/N, if you would please prick your finger now.”

Your hand was shaky as you reached it to the wheel. Memories of a certain film you watched in your childhood flashed in your mind, and you smiled as you recalled what happened to Princess Aurora when she pricked her finger. However, the two of you were living two completely different fairy tale lives. You see, your knight in shining armor was the dragon.

It brought a bit of a sting to your finger, but nothing absolutely painful. You also brought your finger to your mouth, before denying Malleus any look at you (with love, of course) as you turned back to the officiant. 

To anyone else in the audience, you both were taking this relatively well for a couple who was about to be married. However, both your hearts were pounding against your chests. This was the most excited either of you have been, even more so than when Malleus first asked to court you and then proposed to you years later. 

“This spinning wheel is magic, and it turns typical wool into gold. This is a metaphor for the memories you both will make from this point onward. Any injustices suffered before you pricked your fingers shall be washed away and never repeated as you go forward in your marriage and make golden memories. May your happiness and love be eternal.”

At this point, Sebek and Silver lifted up the spinning wheel and walked back down the aisle to load it on the wagon before going back to their spots behind Malleus. At this point, there were a few stray tears running down your face and your husband gently wiped them away. You then turned back to the officiant so that everything could be wrapped up.

“Now, you may kiss your spouse. Congratulations.”

Malleus wasted absolutely no time in dipping you down and kissing you with such burning passion, it left you breathless after. The fae folk and your former peers from NRC all cheered in absolute excitement before he pulled you back up and helped you stay balanced. Then, he offered you his arm for you to wrap your own around before he gently led you back down the aisle.

You were followed by a procession of people; Queen Maleficia was first behind the two of you, then the bridesmaids, and then the groomsmen. Everyone headed to the reception area, excited to dance, party, and eat. You were excited to have a dance with your new husband, and to see him dance with his grandmother. You would be dancing with Professor Crewel, since he was a close father figure to you.

However, once you reached the area, Malleus pulled you to the side to kiss you again. The excitement and pure adoration in his eyes made your heart melt, and you couldn’t help but kiss him back in return. 

“My dear, I have waited many years for this. I’ve foreseen this once upon a dream, but I had no idea that it would come into fruition.”

“As have I, my love. Now, I believe everyone is waiting for us at the banquet table,” you giggled before you both made your way to your spots at the dining table.

#twst #twst x reader #twst wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #malleus #malleus x reader #twst malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #twst malleus #twst malleus x reader #twst malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia

[fxdizz-y]

GHOST X GEN Z + GN!READER

A/N: Hiii first fanfic on tumblr kinda nervous😣 I'm not going to take request just yet this is all for my cravings💀🙏🙏 I'd love if you teach me scottish slang too!

Pairing: (mainly) Ghost x gn!reader || slight Task Force 141 x gn!reader

C/W: Strong language, age gap, fluff, kinda suggestive flirts, Ghost being a boomer, dark humor, no use of Y/N, your call sign is 'Spring' (the metal one), teasing, not in the same timeline as the game, they simping hard for each other

T/W: unhealthy habits (skin peeling around the nails etc)

(Don't mind the song I just listen to it while writing)

『••✎••』

Your life was dull, nothing seems to made you excited anymore. Don't get you wrong, you have an okay childhood, even though you had force yourself to grow up at some point but you didn't mind all that much.

Not like you ever did, you're that 'nice' kid that let people borrow their belongings and seems to don't hold grudges.

But in truth, you weren't that nice. No, you did hold grudges, the only reason you didn't say anything was because you knew that it'll be pointless to argue and you just over all wasn't a social kid.

When you finally hit off to high school, you instantly realized that it'll be hell.

And you weren't wrong.

You were one of those alt kids that wear band shirts and heavy eyeliners. Admittedly it was kind of fun.. But the bullying just drove you to the edge.

But those were memories in the past.

You're 23 now, fidgeting your fingers and scraping the dead skins on your nails, standing next to a woman with dirty blonde short hair.

Her icy blue eyes stare right ahead of you both. She had introduced herself earlier, her name is Kate Laswell.

You both were waiting for some dude to show up, apparently he's supposed to come and get you so you can officially be in his little group.

After what feels like years, a man finally make his way to you, or more likely, Laswell.

– "Price."

Laswell said, turning towards the man, you took a step behind Laswell, hiding yourself from the taller male.

– "Laswell."

The man greeted, before continue.

– "And where is this rookie?"

'Price' ask, his eyes scanning the room. Laswell scoff and give your back a harsh pat, making you step out of her shadow.

– "Price, this is Spring."

– "What."

Price look at you and back at Laswell, clearly hoping this was some sorts of joke.

Unluckily, Laswell eyes tell the truth.

– "For fuck sake, that's literally an INFANT! "

Price exclaim, gesturing towards you while keeping his eyes on Laswell.

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes, keeping your composure.

– "Where the fuck is your manners? You either take them or have troubles missing a skilled hacker."

Laswell snaps, glaring at Price.

The corner of your lips tug up at that, feeling happy and flustered.

Price groans and turns to you, looking at you up and down, judging you hard.

– "Oh my fuckin.. You know I can't just put a baby with the toddlers, the big boys can be mean sometimes."

– "The baby are the meanest, trust me."

Laswell sigh out, pushing you towards the captain.

Price sigh in defeat, before just nod at Laswell.

– "I'll take them"

He grumble before mentioning you to go outside, which you obeyed.

When you made it outside you wait for the captain, which come after you after a few moment.

He gesture to the car and you sat on the backseat.

He quirk a brow up but didn't question it.

The way to your new base felt like forever, especially when none of you decide to talk. So being you, you hums to yourself to MCR.

You were into your own little world and didn't noticed how Price glance at the mirror sometimes to look at you.

He didn't speak of course, just silently observing and quite enjoy this rather than painful silence.

After quite some time the car park at an unfamiliar base, well to you anyways.

You scrambled out the car and went back to fidgeting your fingers, scrapping and peeling off the skin around the nail etc.

Price glance at you and pat your shoulder, a quiet sign for you to follow.

You follow without hesitation, stuffing your hands in your camo pants pocket and let your eyes wander around the place, taking mental notes on which path leads to where since you figured you'll be staying here for awhile.

Each steps you take only make your excitement grows, something that you haven't felt this strong for ages.

Your eyes sparkle with wonders like a child again and you have a great feeling about this, despite your captain bad first impression.

You both walk into a room and the captain told you that your team would be meeting you when they arrive, so you sit on the small locker and swinging your legs, feeling nervous.

You didn't let your mind wandered for too long when the door swing open and 3 men walks in.

And good grief.

They were huge. And you didn't mean it in the dirty way.

Like literally. Especially the one in the back. Despite being behind the two other men you can clearly tell that he's the tallest and the biggest, his skull mask stands out as his eyes stare right into you, you feel absolutely fucking naked under them.

Price motion for you to get down and as you hop down you could almost feel your knees gave up.

– "Hello sailor.."

You mumbled, eyes glued to the tallest man in the room. You could tell that he's about 6'2" and a half.

Luckily Price didn't heard what you just mumbled and continue on introducing you to the team.

You smile cheapishly at all of them, deciding that it was enough eye candy.

– "Aye Rookie?"

A man with faux haircut call you, whom recently introduced himself as Soap wink at you playfully.

– "Name's Spring, sir."

You said, winking back, returning the energy.

– "What's with the name?"

Gaz ask, patting your back.

– "I can do em big jump, sir!"

You exclaim proudly.

Gaz look at you with mischief in his eyes, despite being older you can already tell this guy means good trouble.

Soap, who's probably the closest to your age sling his arm over your shoulder.

– "How 'bout yer show us hm?"

He said, letting his arm fall from your shoulder.

You nod and looking around, looking for a perfect thing you can jump on.

Before it lands on one and only Lieutenant.

Soap immediately notice and give you an unsure stare, knowing how Ghost hate physical touches.

– "Lieutenant?"

You call out, a fuzzy feeling form on your stomach.

And it explode into thousands butterflies when his eyes snaps to you, before they turns gentle.

It may look like he's glaring down at you but you both know that if you look close enough, you'd see the soft, gentleness in it. As if he's being careful to not scare you away. Or maybe it's your imagination.

You sure hope it's fucking not.

Ghost couldn't even believe it. He doesn't believe in this whole love at first sight deal. Just ridiculous.

And ironic isn't it, Lieutenant?

He wasn't listening to your chit chats before so when a soft voice calls out for him he was surprised.

And he craves more of your voice. He wanna hear you say his name.

And god you're so tiny standing in front of him.

You look so.. So fragile to him.

– "Uhm.. Sir?"

You call out again, slowly placing a hand on his arm, fucking desperate to get his attention back.

You definitely awoken something in him with that.

And you knew it when you can feel him tense up.

Ghost focus back on you again, nodding for you to do whatever you want.

Soap and Gaz was FLABBERGASTED.

L.T being soft? Man they whish they could record this right now.

But that'll be a dead wish.

You jog behind him, before running up to him and jump high. And holy shit.

You didn't lie.

You could almost jump over him.

But you didn't since there wasn't enough space, instead you land on his shoulder.

You would be concern for the neck you could broke but you weren't in your gears so you weren't heavy.

You cheers when you land on him, almost sending him to the floor.

He pause. Unsure how to feel.

#ghost call of duty #ghost riley #mw2 x reader #simon riley #call of duty x reader #x reader #gen z!reader #cod mw22 #call of duty modern warfare #task force 141 #gender neautral reader #Spotify

[bi-bard]

Impressive - Nikolai Lantsov Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Impressive

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov X Reader

Word Count: 1,760 words

Warning(s): canon-typical violence

Summary: The four times Nikolai was desperate to impress (Y/n). And the one time that they could admit that he succeeded.

Author's Note: Kinda hate how much he grew on me so quickly.

---------------------

Number One:

I knew that one day I would have to cross the Fold again.

That did nothing to change how much I dreaded it. I was terrified of being stuck or killed. I could put on a brave enough face, but all I could think about when I thought of the Fold was all of the tragedy that accompanied it. The pain and death and misery. Not just my own, but the world around it.

That was enough to scare me to my core.

And then, Nikolai let us in on his method of getting across the fold.

Well, he didn't tell us anything. He showed us.

I watched as the ship shifted into a different machine that then separated from the rest of the ship. The sound of engines starting was accompanied by shaking and very little explanation.

"Oh, saints!" I wrapped an arm around the main pillar in the hopes of keeping myself steady. I looked over. I could see us moving upward. "Flying? Are you serious?"

"You sound impressed," Nikolai replied, lifting his arm so he could rest his elbow against the pillar next to me.

I glared at him for a moment. "Terrified."

"Oh, don't be," he waved off my worries. "We've made many improvements since the ones that crashed."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically. "The history of you crashing to the ground is unbelievably comforting."

He held his hand out to me. "Come here."

"I'm comfortable here-"

"(Y/n)," he pushed.

I took a deep breath and relented, placing my hand in his.

He pulled me over to the railing. He moved to grab my upper arms, holding me in place so I could look out at the view.

"What do you think," he asked.

"That I may vomit over the edge," I muttered.

"Lovely," he mumbled back before walking away. "Just don't lean too far over. I would hate for you to fall."

I looked at the distance below us before quickly stumbling away from the edge.

I heard a laugh behind me, causing me to glare at Nikolai again. He just smirked at me.

This time together was going to be far too long.

Number Two:

Finding out the truth about Nikolai and his family was a harsh shift for Alina, Mal, and myself.

I didn't get to confront him at first. Alina took that responsibility into her own hands by punching him.

With all of the people and information, I didn't get the chance to say anything until we were riding toward the Spinning Wheel.

"Were you ever going to tell us the truth," I asked as Nikolai moved to ride alongside me. "Or did you hope that it would never be a relevant conversation?"

He chuckled. "I will admit that I hadn't quite planned how I was going to tell you the truth."

I nodded.

"It was all in the hopes of doing good for the people I loved."

"Why would telling the three of us make any difference?"

"Would you have ever trusted me if I told you who my family was?"

"Do you honestly believe that I am inclined to trust you now?"

He paused. We each looked at each other for a few spare moments before I turned my attention back to the path before us.

"I will earn your trust," he said after a while.

"I will be very impressed if you manage that," I replied.

"Even more motivation to do so."

I turned to him again, but he had already started to look straight ahead with a smirk sitting on his lips.

I couldn't tell if I was irritated by his confidence or if I respected it.

Number Three:

Staying at the Spinning Wheel was an interesting experience.

There was no question of the tension in the air. After what the Darkling had done, the royal family and their soldiers weren't exactly supportive of Grisha's being among them.

Nikolai seemed insistent on making peace. Ever the diplomat.

Hence his proposal to Alina.

A move that admittedly caught me off-guard, but I had no comment about it. It wasn't my place to say anything about it.

I was standing off to the side of the feast, taking the time to allow my head to clear from all of the noise.

"I hope you aren't being scared away."

I looked over to see Nikolai walking over to me with a proud grin on his face.

"Not at all," I replied. "Basking in the pride of uniting two feuding people?"

"Oh, we both know Alina will have much more power in that endeavor," he looked down at his drink for a moment. "How are you? How is your stay treating you?"

"I am quite content," I explained. "May I ask why you were wondering? Surely, my comfort isn't at the top of your list of priorities."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, if I'm not mistaken... shouldn't you be more focused on your engagement," I asked, looking over at Alina.

He chuckled. "I would, but I find you far more interesting."

I looked back at him in shock. I couldn't find a word to say in response to that. I just froze for a moment. No sarcastic remark or insult could find its way to my lips.

"Careful," he mumbled. "You'll catch flies with your mouth hanging open like that."

I quickly closed my mouth and looked away from him.

"Quite impressed that I have the ability to render you speechless."

"Have a good night, Nikolai."

"You too, (Y/n)."

I had never been so embarrassed at how someone saying my name made me feel.

The prince was beginning to feel like a distraction.

Number Four:

I had no real reason for staying with Nikolai when the others went into the Fold.

I had merely held onto the belief that they didn't need me as much as he and his men did.

I was right, but that didn't mean that I had any power that could stand against the shadow monsters that the Darkling had created.

It felt senseless. Over half a dozen fighting one monster and making no progress.

I would have called it hopeless if the creature had pinned Nikolai to one of the pillars. After that, all I could feel was anger. Anger and fear.

Once the monster faded, all I could do was get to him as fast as I could. I had never been susceptible to such tunnel vision, but with Nikolai, it was different.

"Nikolai!"

I helped hold him up, so he was leaning up against the pillar. He was panting, his eyes wide. I had never seen such clear panic written on one person's face.

I grabbed the sides of his face so he would look at me. It took him a moment to recognize me, but when he did, his hands reached up and touched mine, holding them in place.

"Saints, you're alive," I muttered, feeling tears building in my eyes. I leaned my forehead on his, not putting any thought into the action. "You're alive!"

"You sound impressed," he mumbled back, smirking at me.

"You want to make jokes now," I asked, leaning away from him.

He simply shrugged, hissing at the pain in his shoulder.

"Come on," I said. "We need to go find the others."

He nodded, allowing me to help him off the ground.

I caught Tamar giving me a knowing look as I did so. I ignored it.

I had much more important things to worry about than whatever was between Nikolai and me.

And the Time He Succeeded:

I grinned at myself in the mirror.

It had been ages since I had found confidence in my own reflection, but if there were a day to find it, then Nikolai's coronation day was not the worst.

I had been so focused on admiring myself that I barely heard the knock at the door. I called for the guest to come in before my brain had truly recognized the sound.

I turned around the footsteps cut through the silence of the room. Nikolai stood before me. He was dressed for his day. I smiled at him.

"Wow," he mumbled, a smile stretching across his face.

"What," I asked. I chuckled a bit. "Impressed?"

"I'm always impressed by you," he replied. I tilted my head a bit, my eyebrows furrowing for a moment. "Why do you think I spent so long hoping to be in your good graces?"

"I assumed it was a way to hold up your ego-"

"It was because from the moment that I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," he cut me off as he explained, stepping closer to me. "You caught my attention so easily that it was almost unfair. I had no choice but to get you to see me as I saw you."

When he stopped moving, I felt as though my heart were in my throat. He was so close. Too close. It would have been so easy to lean forward and close the pointless distance that separated us.

But I didn't.

Instead, I asked a question, "And how do you see me?"

"Brilliant," he immediately said. His voice was soft. It sounded distracted as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "And brave. And strong. And... lovely. And protective. And gentle, even though you don't let that show very often."

I would have chuckled at the final comment if I hadn't been so stunned.

I had been called brave before. I had been called strong before. I had never had someone associate my name with the words lovely or gentle or brilliant. Maybe I had simply never captured someone's attention for long enough for them to find those words.

"I could use a million words to describe you and I would never feel as if I had said enough," he whispered. His hand came up to cup the side of my face.

"Nikolai," I mumbled.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine before I could think of what I was going to say beyond his name.

I slowly kissed him back, suddenly becoming aware of just how little experience I had when it came to matters like this. I tried to ignore that nervous feeling in my stomach.

He made it much easier. As he leaned closer and held me just where I was, I found myself with little else to think of beyond him. No fears or simple worries could pull me away from this moment.

Yes, I was definitely impressed.

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#nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

[minjiarchive]

“just one quickie baby” | g!p jiu x fem!reader

since you guys seemed interested in g!p... then id think you'd like this one 🤔 honestly its my first time writing g!p so hopefully it's good!

warning / smut, quickie (reader and jiu almost get caught LOL)

“Just one quickie baby, please...”

“Minji,” You moaned in her mouth which she gladly took in to silence you. Her overbearing want to fuck you was taking control over her. Seeing you in that red dress that she loved so much on you since you wore it was enough to get her hard. “We won't have enough time.”

“We will, I'll make sure to go so fast inside of you,” Her voice was deep but desperate, how cute? Minji's never-ending grinding showed how much she wanted you. You were hard to resist, and she proved it to you with each helpless moan she let out.

“I already know you want it.” If you said she wasn't true then you would be lying. Your only worry was the members waiting for you and eventually coming up to your room to see what was taking so long. But, with her convincing words, you gave in.

Your hand impatiently tugged at her pants, giving her the hint that you were ready for her. Her bulge grew bigger when your hand skimmed over her length intentionally. She smirked and left a harsh kiss on your lips before removing her pants fully, leaving her underwear only for you to take off.

Once her cock was standing freely, you stroked it slowly. You could feel her throbbing around you with the need to put it inside of you. There was no time to tease her and edge her all you want though, so you stopped and met her eyes. She saw how much she made you into a pretty mess for her — it really couldn't get more exciting than this.

Minji put one of her hands over your mouth to (hopefully) mute your moans. Truth is, she'd love to hear you loud and clear though. A wave of pleasure hit you both when she slid into you with ease. Her first few thrusts were slow at first but as you remembered what she said earlier, that wouldn't last too long. She started to speed up her pace, pounding herself in and out of you.

She stretched you out perfectly too. Minji never failed to meet your expectations, she always knew how to make you feel good no matter what situation you were in. You were always so amazed by what she could do to you. Even if you both had to make it quick like now — it always felt so good.

Your legs unconsciously spread more apart for her as she hid her face into your neck while sucking on your soon-to-be bruised skin. Despite the fact her thrusting got sloppy at times, she still went at you rough and fast. The thought of the members catching you was the least of your worries now.

You were close to reaching your high but you heard familiar voices out in the hallway, approaching your room closer and closer with each slap of your bodies. “Jiu unnie? Y/N? Are you guys almost ready?”

Shit. Dami and Gahyeon were outside your room with only a wood door barricading the nasty sounds between you and Minji. You knew you should be concerned about getting caught but why did it make you so excited?

“Baby... they're gonna hear us-”

“Just keep fucking me, Minji. I'm so close.” You whimpered against her lips. There was no going back now. She gripped onto your hips and took full control of your body. Her cock was deep into your dripping pussy and with no mercy, she slammed herself in you one last time before reaching her orgasm.

“Y/N please, I'm cumming...” Throwing her head back with her last thrust. Her voice was broken and whiny, thanks to you. You and Minji were both in your own world at this point, not caring about how loud you were or if others could hear you. It was all euphoria and pleasure. She filled you up just right before pulling out her coated cock with all your wetness out of you.

“Uh, I think we'll need another 20 minutes.”

#dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher jiu #dreamcatcher scenarios #jiu scenarios #jiu imagines #jiu smut #jiu x reader #wlw smut #wlw #kpop smut

[salmonpoki]

Rose petals

Pairing: Yuji Itadori x Reader Content: setted after the Shibuya incident arc, manga spoiler, mentions of suicide if you look closely. In this future sorcerers have defeated Sukuna and Yuji Itadori is not executed. All characters are aged. w/c: ~2,3 k

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The sun was rising and the singing of little birds was filling the quiet room. Even the sunlight was entering the room, lighting up the bed. The covers were all wrinkled on one side, wrapped around the figure of your body, keeping you warm. You opened the eyes and all you could notice was the other side of the bed, empty and abandoned. And no one was there.

And you're alone again. Despite the external sounds and the dim light that was coming from the window, you couldn't help but thinking about you were alone, the room seemed quiet and dark. You sighed, your chest moved slightly up and down at every breath. Maybe if you close your eyes again everything will end... yes, it could work. But what Nobara would think about that? No, you shouldn't remember her, your best friend, it hurts too much. Damn, if you could you would have stopped her from going and risking her life and she would still be here with you.

Your days have became lonely without her presence. It was like something have taken away an important part from you, a person that you always liked and loved in your life. You hated that, you hated that with all of your heart. You couldn't do anything, at this point it had happened. You didn't even know why the fate had choose her. But, as we told, you couldn't do anything to change the past. Another sigh left your lips.

Your gaze moved to the sill of the window, where there was a little jar with a red brown rose inside. The flower had been given by none other than Nobara, the person you were crying for. Once straight and brightly colored, now its petals were partly brown and they deteached away from it one by one and his stem was a little saggy. It was as if it reflected your sad state of mind.

You sat down, your feet touched the floor and you stood up, not so ready to start your day. While you were walking to another room, a petal deteached away from the flower, resting on the sill.

♡•°○●ᥫ᭡●○°•ᥫ᭡•°○●ᥫ᭡●○°•ᥫ᭡•°○●ᥫ᭡●○°•♡

Sometimes when it was raining you used to watch outside the window and looked at the water drops sliding on the glass, almost competing on which drop would reach the bottom first. A game you often played when you were a lively and playful little kid. But years had passed by then and at that time you still didn't know what a psychological pain, a trauma, was. So now you were hypnotized by this drops which ended up uniting, becoming one. You felt like you weren't enough for this world, like someone who shouldn't be here. Perhaps if you take a good knife, maybe you could-

«Ehy, did you hear me?»

«Mhm?» the voice had woken you up from that daydream, bringing you back to reality. You tirned your head, only to see the pink-haired man who was watching you a bit worried. «Sorry, did you said something?»

«I just... I just asked how were you» he answered.

You wanted to cry and scream, again and again, but you also wanted to laugh to mask your pain and your tears. You wondered how he just managed to get through it all, or at least hide his pain well, seeing as he was just a kid when the accident happened. Damn, he may had suffered more than you. «I'm fine» you said with a fake smile. Those two words were probably a defense mechanism against the harsh truth. Maybe it was just a psychological matter: a person asked another person how were they, and then they, the one who was having a bad time and were emotionally destroyed, they tried to hide the problem, perhaps because the person who answered, you in this case, had thought that asking for help was a signal of weakness. Maybe. After you had said that, you continued to sip your drink.

He looked at you with an understanding look, as if he knew how you actually felt. «You don't need to lie»

«You talk as if you don't do it too» you replied. And he looked at you again with the same look, perfectly knowing you were right. Even if everytime he came to visite you he used to say he was fine, you couldn't help but notice he constantly touched the scar on his cheek. A little memory of his opponent.

«But if you ever want to talk I am here...»

«Yuji...»

«...I have experienced your pain too...»

You grabbed his wrist with a little squeeze as if to tell him to stop. He looked at you a bit surprised, but you could also feel his confusion in his look. The pain in your chest returned,your heart seemed to explode at any time. And his eyes met yours, almost disappointed by your trying to avoid the topic. «Stop...» you whispered, trying to hold back the tears.

He sighed, giving up. When your grip has loosened, he stood up from where he was and he walked over, stopping next to you. You stood up as well. You saw him spreading his arms slightly and you understood. You hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around you as well, holding you against him like he was trying to protect you. The tears formed in the corners of your eyes, sliding through your cheeks and falling on his jacket. «Everything's fine» he whispered in your ear, giving you a few light pats on the back «I'm here».

Despite he grew up, you noticed that over the years his character didn't seem to have changed: he still cared more about others than himself and wanted to protect people at all costs. «Yuji, I-»

You heard a ring, and then he walked away from you. He took his phone and put it next to his ear «Hello?». You could hear little voices talking through the phone, but you couldn't understand what they were saying. He mumbled something, the words «Yes» and «No» sometimes had left his lips before he said «Ok, I'll be right there» and hung up. He looked at you again «Sorry, I have to go... they said there's a curse in...» he swallowed «Shibuya...»

There was a bit of bitterness in that word. Shibuya, where all started, where a lot of people died, even Nanami and... Nobara. It still hurt to remember her. You accompanied Yuji to the front door and said goodbye, before closing the door behind you. You were alone again, no one here to listen to you. Tears were still sliding down your cheeks as you curled up on the floor.

Without you knowing, the rose in your room had lost more petals and there were only two left.

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Valentine's Day was a day you hated. Not that you had always done it, in fact, before the accident you liked going out with your friends. But now you're alone and you are forced to watch all the couples walk before your eyes. It seemed like on that day the world was reminding you that people had abandoned you to fate and that you weren't exactly lucky. To avoid reading those words in the looks of lovers, you had decided to stay at home. And now you were alone, alone and more alone. Seems this story talks a lot about loneliness, don't you think? But, if you want to know, you still have Yuji, right? Even if he doesn't pass a lot of time with you, he cares a lot for you. Because you are important for him, aren't you? No, you should stop thinking certain things and question yourself.

You heard someone knocking at the door. You walked through the room, you turned the door handle down and opened it slightly to see who was outside, only to see him «Yuji?!».

The pink-haired man seemed to have been attacked during the battle against the curses; his face looked bruised and was covered in small scratches. Even his clothes were ruined: the sleeves of the jacket were practically gone and some parts of the jacket were torn. You opened the door wide and let him entered the house. You saw how he was limping: hadn't he used the reverse technique to heal his wounds? You carried him to the couch, where he sat down and started breathing almost normally again. Almost, because as you could see, he was on the verge of crying. You could see how he gripped the armrests, how his eyes began to get wetter every second. It made you feel bad for him.

He let out a sob, something that have surprised you. You hadn't seen him like this in a long time, at least since... well, you know when. His bottom lip was slightly trembling and you remembered the guy he once was, affected by a trauma. Death and destruction, that's what he had experienced and he had always blamed himself. You could hear his heartbeat like that time. «I...sorry...I couldn’t...» he tried to speak, but he couldn’t help but stumble over his words «It happened again... I couldn’t do anything...» He seemed on the verge of having an emotional crisis «It's all my fault...I want to-»

«Hey no, look at me» you replied, moving in front of him and cupping his cheeks «It's not your fault. Anything that happened there, it's not your fault» you paused for a moment, only to see his reaction. You could see how he was looking at you, but you couldn't recognize any padticular emotion beyond the sadness and the sense of guilt «You said that if I ever needed you, you were here for me» you continued «And the same goes for you».

He continued to look at you with those big eyes, he was still sobbing and the tears rolled down his cheeks, slightly wetting your fingers «But I-»

His insistence was starting to annoy you, so you decided to shut him up in the only way you could think of at that moment: you gave him a tight hug, practically sitting in his lap while you did it. You had noticed he tensed up as you did so and his breathing hitched. But immediately afterwards his body had relaxed and he had brought you even closer, wrapping you in his arms and burying his head in the crook of your neck. You could feel his chest moving up and down against yours at every breath. It was... strangely comforting to you too. You let out a sigh as you felt him calm down with his sobs, even if a few tears still fell. «Sorry» he whispered, continuing to keep his head still on your shoulder. You passed your hand through his hair, they were soft and silky to the touch to your surprise. You felt your heart beat a bit faster. Why did you feel like in this way? Why had your heart started beating so fast? Anyway, you didn't have the answer for this questions, or at least you didn't have a sure answer. «Can I ask you something?»

The sudden question surprised you and brought you back to reality «Tell me» you said.

«Can I...» he started and his face seemed to have a slight blush «Can I stay here for the night? Just for today, I promise» Was he blushing?

You chuckled, finding his small reactions quite funny. «Of course you can. Whenever you want, you will always be welcome here»

A long sigh escaped his lips while he was still hugging you. Even his heart was beating quite fast as you noticed. You stepped away from him, placing your feet back on the ground as you stood up, and he slowly did the same. As you looked at him again, you saw how he seemed a little sleepy and his cheeks were stained with tears. You ran your fingers over his cheek in a gentle gesture, trying to remove any remaining tears. He let out a small gasp, but then he relaxed again, closing his eyes for a moment. «Sorry again» he repeat himself «I think I am just tired» he looked around, seeming to avoid your gaze. Why was he suddenly shy? Oh well, it didn't matter. You led him into the bedroom, then he lay down and looked at the ceiling. You lay down next and you saw him turn towards you. You felt as if his eyes were penetrating your soul, almost reading your thoughts and the sensations you felt. You touched his cheek lightly and then he smiled weakly at you. Whether the smile had been real you didn't know exactly, but seeing it it seemed so. He hugged you again like before, holding you close to him, as if you were the most precious treasure he had ever found. His breath was more normal than before and he let out a sigh, seemed to be relaxed, for real this time. He gently kissed your neck, that was something that made you blush amd shivered a little, but... he did this because you were just his friend, right? Even when you heard him whisper «I love you» to your ear, but it was probably your imagination, wasn't it? Oh well, at least you spent Valentine's Day with someone you loved.

Before closing your eyes you looked at the windowsill, where that vase with the flower was still located. And you smiled when you saw what was happening.

The rose, once brown and saggy, was growing back in all its beauty.

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a/n: Happy [late🫠] Valentine's Day~

#yuji x reader #yuji x you #yuji x y/n #yuji itadori x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #valentine's day

[actual-greenninja]

I DONT WANT TO HURT YOU GUYS THE SAME WAY HE HURT ME

Genya x fem reader (angst to fluff, modern au)

**cw: yelling, arguing, harsh treatment (he apologizes) swearing, mentions of abuse, comfort**

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Synopsis

After 4 years of dating the two of you get married and start a family together consisting of 2 four year old boys and 1 two year old girl. The little family you guys started together mean the world to Genya, and he wouldn't want to do anything to harm you guys, especially in the same way his father harmed him and his mother and siblings.Recently he has been working later than usual and his boss and co workers are driving him insane with their constant demands of him. Today he arrives home at 8 at night extremely angry. He has an out burst at you and the two of you get into a fight which lead to him grabbing your fore arm and handling you harshly while yelling at you. You're 2 Sons come running in, yelling, begging him to stop, he then realised what he was doing and now he can't even look at you or his son's the same.

★Author's note: this is my first ever fic, im purely writing this to get it out of my head, sorry if my English isn't great, it is my first language im just not any good lol. Sorry if I didn't really write Genya well, it's my first time writing him. I love arguement angsty fics and I love my boy Genya. Not proof read sorry

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He didn't mean it, he swears he didn't mean it.

He didn't mean to make you cry,he didn't mean to make his son's cry, he wants to blame it on his childhood, watching his father beat up his mother and siblings almost every day must of made him think his actions were okay in the moment, but he knew that there was no excuse. He hurt you.

Things at home recently haven't been the best in terms of the relationship between you and your adoring husband, Genya Shinazugawa. The man who you have been in love with for almost 8 years now. The man you dated throughout your college years. The man who you said yes to, tears streaming down your eyes without a second thought when he proposed to you the night he took you out to the prettiest resort you had ever seen, the man who helped you and cared for you while you were pregnant with his twin boys and later his beautiful baby girl. The man who swore to make you and your children the happiest he could.

For the past two weeks you could tell that things at work haven't been going too well for Genya. He often woke up extra early, leaving you alone in bed and leaving almost immediately for work. Some mornings he won't even shyly kiss you on the forehead goodbye like he usually does, he just gets dressed and leaves you at home to take care of your loud 4 year olds and crying 2 year old. The day would go on as it usually does except now Genya gets home later than usual, sometimes it would already be dark long before he arrives home only to tiredly greet you, quickly eat the dinner you kept for him, sit with your children if they weren't already asleep and then go to bed a bit upset. It hurt you to see him upset all the time when you did get to see him, noticing how he isn't nearly as affectionate with you as he use to be. What hurt more was that your son's were starting to realize that their father didn't have time to them, making them feel like they weren't important to him, which was furthest from the truth. Today wasn't any different.

"Mommy... Psst! Mommy, wake up!"

You're eyes started to flutter tiredly, a heavy weight causing pain to your stomach. When you finally gain consciousness you find one of you twin sons sitting on your stomach with you in bed. You say tiredly "Hey, baby, what are you doing up this early?" He smiles at you with a toothy grin, showing of his little gapped teeth. "I dunno, I jus' wanna sleep with you, mommy!" You smile softly at how cute he is. You rest your hand on his cheek, his purple eyes resembling his father's shining bright at you. "Alright then, but first, where's your brother? Is he up aswell" you ask with a tired smile, a little worried that his brother may be catching up to something. Just before your question can be answered you here loud crying that came from the nursery. Your daughter must have woken up. Suddenly the cries grow closer and closer to your bedroom and before you know it your other son is running into the room with his little sister in his arms, clearly struggling to carry her weight with his small arms. He yells, panicked "Mommy! Mommy! Sissy won't stop crying! I just came to her cot and she started crying when she saw me!!" He now had tears in his own eyes, the thought of him making his beloved sister cry makes him feel terrible. You jump out of bed and take her out of your son's arms. You kiss him on the forehead before trying to calm down your daughter "Don't worry, bub. She was just crying because she missed you so much! Thank you for bringing her to me but next time just call me, alright?" You say, calming your son down. He sniffles "okay mommy, I will" he says with a faint smile.

After calming all your children down you take them to the kitchen and make your children each bowls of soft porridge for them to eat while on the couch where all four of you watched "The Goofy Movie" for the hundredth time in a row. You all sat peacefully watching, your daughter in your lap and your son's each leaning on one of your sides. The scene came on where Goofy and his son, Max are in their car on a road trip. You watched, a little bored as you practically memorised the whole script by now. That is until one of your son's tug on your pajama shirt.

He looks up at you with his sad purple eyes. You look at him, confused

"Hey, bub. What's with the face, don't you like the movie? Or is your porridge tasting weird?" You ask, trying to mask your worry. He shakes his head and speaks with a sad tone "Mommy, why doesn't Daddy love us like Goofy and Max?" With that your heart absolutely shatters. There's no way he thinks his father doesn't love him!? You rub his head with your thumb. Before you say anything your other son chimes in, sounding more upset "Yeah! Why doesn't Daddy love us anymore!? Does he not like us..?" You are now feeling frantic. Where is all this coming from? How long have they thought this!? You finally speak up, trying to hide your tears from escaping your eyes, you were feeling way too hurt by their words. "Guys, Daddy loves you! He loves you all so so much... He loves you and will never stop loving you... Why do you think he doesn't..?" You ask with worry, holding your children closer to you. One of your son's says in a sad tone, "But, Daddy doesn't play with us anymore... Daddy is never here with us..." He says, tears in his eyes. "Yeah! He doesn't play with us anymore. He leaves us all the time. He leaves mommy all the time too!" Your other son yells, feeling more upset and hurt by the realisation. Your heart is torn to shreds and you don't know what to feel. Sad that they think this, angry at your husband for not spending enough time with his family,or angry at yourself for not realizing these things sooner. You speak up with pain in your voice "No, no, no Daddy loves you guys, he loves all of us, he's just been busy with work!" You try reassuring them but you can see the four year olds aren't convinced with such an explanation. You sigh and say calmly "Ok guys, why don't we go out for ice cream and later when Daddy is home later, I'll talk to him about playing with you guys more.. how does that sound?" You ask with a weak smile, hoping that ice cream will make them forget about this whole thing for a while. Your son's eyes light up, as if the whole conversation before never happend "Ice cream! Ice cream" the boys chanted happily, making your daughter giggle in your arms. You smile at their sudden change in mood but you still feel a pool in your stomach.

Why the hell would they think such a terrible thing about their father? It's not their fault at all, but still, how could you let this happen? How could Genya let this happen? You felt anger bubbling in your chest. A mix of anger and sadness. You knew you had to talk to Genya about this, but every night you tried talking to him in the past about spending more time with his family he would just brush you off and tell you that " your being dramatic, im trying but they just won't let me catch a break at work" and end it at that. You weren't gonna let that happen tonight though. You were going to confront Genya about his behaviour and how it has been affecting you and the children.

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The evening started making its way into the sky, the bright blues from earlier fading into a mix of orange and red hues throughout the sky , clouds reappearing and taking form above. You had just finished making dinner for you and your children where they now sat on the floor of their bedroom playing with their toys that you and Genya had gifted them for their birthdays. You were now washing the dishes peacefully by yourself before you heard the door open and be slammed shut. Just by that noise you could tell that Genya just had a bad day at work. Has got to be as every time you texted him before today he wouldn't even read them nor answer them.

Genya huffed as he walked in, immediately taking of his tie and blazer, placing them on the counter. You smile at him softly, drying your hand and making your way to your husband. You kiss him on the cheek and smile up at him, glad that you get to him for the first time today.

"Hey,love, how was work? We missed you!" You say cheerfully. On any other day he would have smiled, kissed you back with a light blush and say that he missed you guys too and call for his boys to run to him and hug them tightly. Today however, he clearly wasn't in the mood, answering you with a grunt and saying in a tired, annoyed voice " Yeah, yeah, missed you too..". It was clear there wasn't any meaning behind his words and that made you feel hurt. Your two sons come running into the kitchen and run into Genya's legs happily. They look up at their father with big toothy smiles. "Daddy! We missed you! Come play with us!" They say excitedly. Genya bends down to hug his boys tiredly. He says in a forced sad tone as he hugged them. "Daddy missed you boys too, sorry guys but daddies tired so he can't play today..."

The two boys let go of their father, the one looking sad while the other looked a little upset. They both nodded and left the room without saying another word. This was the last straw for you, your heart couldn't take it anymore. Genya makes his way to the couch in the living room. He sits down tiredly, his hand in his messy mohawk cut hair, he sighed, he clearly just wanted to fall asleep right there, but you didn't let him. You took a seat next to him, you looked at him with eyes of sadness.

"Genya, love, we need to talk..." You start off, concern painting your voice. He sighs, he sounds very annoyed at your request. He looks at you with a slight glare "Can't it wait til tomorrow, can't 'ya see im not in the mood?" He snarls. You haven't seen Genya talk to you like this ever, he is usually soft with you, if he didn't want to talk he would ask politely if you could keep this for later, not snarl at you like this. You stand your ground though, not wanting to get intimidated by his annoyed state. You speak up firmly "No, we need to talk now. Look at me, it's important." He is upset by your firmness and sits up. He looks at you dead in the eye and says, his voice coated with venom, "I said im not in the mood. If it's about me being at work to much then im not fucking listening,ok?" He says angrily. His attitude towards you was making you more upset aswell. " Well can you blame me for wanting to talk about it!? It isn't good that your not at home anymore, it's affecting you and it's affecting this family!" You say forcefully,you were getting tired of all of this, you knew it wasn't exactly his fault, but right now you didn't care. He looks at you with disbelief,he was angry now, and thanks to him being at work all day,he was too tired to even think straight. He yells at you, his purple eyes piercing into you. "The fuck, you want to tell at me for wanting to provide for our family!? Are you fucking stupid or something!?" He gets up from the couch to stand and look down on you, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "What an ungrateful bitch do you have to be to think this shit!? Especially when I see you aren't doing anything for this damn family!" He yells, anger filling him. He has never yelled like this, he swore that he wouldn't. That night where he was crying into your arms 2 weeks after your wedding night. He cried saying that he never wants to hurt or even yell at you, after what he saw his father do to his mom he was traumatized. His screams still ringing through his ears. You held him closely, telling him that he will never be like his father. He promised you that he will never do anything to harm you, yet here we are.

You two kept yelling at eachother, the screams only growing louder. You scream at him, tears flowing through your eyes at this point. "Atleast our children have someone they can turn to, and doesn't push them away all the fucking time!I Amy not be out earning money but atleast I show my children the love they deserve out of a parent, what have you been doing!?" You didn't mean those things, but at the same time you meant every word. Genya's eyes widen. If you thought he was pissed before, now you've really done it. He made his way to you and grabbed your forearm tightly, making you wince at the pain.You struggle, trying to get him to let you go only for him to grip you tighter.

"TAKE THAT BACK, FUCKING TAKE IT BACK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IM GONNA DO TO YOU"

He yells, his head foggy with rage at this point. He never intended to hurt you, but he wanted you to fear him for saying that he doesn't provide his children the love they need, the children he loved with all his heart. He kept swearing, telling you to take it back, but you stayed silent, the pain he was enforcing on your arm being to much. Your eyes had tears streaming down your face and you yelled overs and overs for him to let go. Before the arguement can escalate any further you here a high pitched yell come from the hallway. It was your son, he looked furious yet he had tears streams Ng down his eyes. He was trembling, his little hands balled up into small fists.

"STOP HURTING MOMMY YOU MONSTER!"

he yelled, he ran to Genya's leg and started punching it with all he had, his punches not causing any physical harm to Genya. Genya's eyes widen, his vision finally clearing from all his anger. Genya's eyes are still wide as he takes in the scene he created. His son was trying to beat him off while the woman he loved with all his heart was crying desperately trying to get out of his grasp. He let go of you and your first instinct was to run to your son and hold him to get him to stop. You try to stop your crying as you held him tightly to stop him from trying to fight his father. He finally let his little fist free to hug you tightly, crying into the crook of your neck. All Genya could hear were the sniffles coming from the two of you. He fucked up. He desperately fucked up. After some silence your son spoke up in a broken little voice. He spoke Inbetween cries " S-see. Mommy- I said- I said that - daddy h-hates us!"

Genya's heart shattered. He finally understood what you were so desperately trying to explain to him. His own son, the son who he cried for when him and his brother were born. The boy that he held with his brother every night when he was a baby. The boy who said "daddy" as his first word. The boy who was crying Infront of him, thinking that he, his own father, hated him. Genya started to panic, the scene felt so fimiliar to him, and it made his heart ache. This exact thing happend when he was younger, but he had his siblings to help him through it aswell. Here, his son had no one. Genya then noticed his other son, holding his sister, cowering in the hallway, crying with his confused sister in his hands. It reminded Genya of himself, how he cowered with his siblings while Sanemi tried beating their father off their mother. He was his father in this situation, Genya was acting how his father would and the fact tore him apart. How did he even get here, what was he thinking? He's afraid he wasn't thinking at all, and because of him not thinking he now hurt his family. He hurt you.

Tears were streaming down Genya's face. All he wanted to do was take you all into his embrace, kiss you all on the forehead as he usually does and keep you guys safe from the world, but how can he do that now? He harmed you... If anything, someone should be protecting you all from him. But he loved you guys he loved you guys more than himself. All he could do was stand and watch you guys,crying softly. After some time he finally musters up softly, his voice breaking.

"Im so sorry... Im so so sorry.... I didn't... I-"

He was stuttering, trying to think of the right words. You didn't even pay him a single glance, all your attention on your children crying in your arms. You finally stood up with a weak smile. you held your daughter in your arms and your son held your hand while the other was holding his brothers hand. You said in a strained voice,

"come on guys, Why don't I sleep with you all together in your room?"

Genya's eyes widened at this, he choked out, tears still falling from his eyes. "WAIT! P-please, can we talk..? Please, love, Im sorry.. to all of you" he choked on his sobs, Genya looked pathetic like this. It broke your heart but you knew he deserved this. You gave him one final glance before taking your children to their room. Genya was crying, swearing at himself, how is he such an idiot? What was wrong with him? He didn't want to hurt you guys. He needed to see you, he needed to hold you, he needed to explain to you, but what would he even explain? That he is a complete asshole who doesn't deserve his own family's love? He didn't know

"Fuck... What is wrong with you... Weak piece of shit... You are acting- no, no I can't be... Shit, im acting exactly like him"

All he knew he could do was wait until the children are asleep, then, maybe he could talk to you... Then if you will let him, he can talk to his children too, and apologize for this whole mess. He wanted to tell you guys how much he loved you all, he wanted to hold his sons as he did when they were babies. He wanted his daughter to look up at him with that cute smile of hers. But after all this... He....

He chokes out another sob. He walked himself to your shared bedroom and waited, hoping that you will walk in hold him like you always would.

____________________________________________________

The hours go by and before you know it, it's 12 in the morning. You talked with your children, calming them down and put them to sleep.You wanted to go to Genya and forget about this whole thing, just have things go back to normal. But you knew you couldn't... Could you ever after this? You look down at your fore arm, it was red from how Genya handled you. After the children were sound asleep you quietly left the room. You walked to your shared bedroom, you crack the door open to see Genya laying in bed, his back facing the door. He was hunched up in the bed, you could hear the sobs coming from the bed you two shared. He was holding the pillow you slept with, burying his face into it. The whole scene was making you feel sick inside, should you even feel bad? Is it bad that you feel bad for him?

You knocked before letting yourself in. He jumps up to see you, your eyes swollen and your cheeks flushed. He is so happy to see you, yet the tears fall more than before. He wants to get up and hug you but he restrains himself, he knows he doesn't deserve it.

"(y/n)...?" He says quietly. You look at him emotionlessly and take a seat onto the bed next to him. The two of you sit in silence, not knowing what to say. There was so much to say yet you couldn't think of anything, I mean, where do you even start? You finally say quietly. "Do you finally see why I want you to spend more time with us..? The boys... They think you hate us.." you hear another choked sob come out from Genya. His hand in his hair. "IM SORRY" he squeaks out in-between cries "I see what you mean now... I don't know how I haven't realised.." You look at him, your own tears threatening to spill, but you stay strong. You say in a soft voice."Don't cry, do you really think you deserve to?" His eyes widen, he stops his crying immediately, you were right, he didn't deserve to....

"Genya.... Why? Why all of this..? What were you thinking?" You ask him in a cold tone of voice. He can't even look at you. He says quietly, his voice shaking. "I don't know... I have no excuse for this. Things at work have just been frustrating lately and it's been pissing me off.Then I took it out on you-" he nearly starts to cry again but he restrains himself." Im Sorry. I don't deserve the forgiveness of you or our children but im sorry. And please... Tell the boys that I don't hate them, fuck, I love them, I love all three of them, and I love you, more than anything.." He swallows his sobs and looks at your arm, now red and slightly bruised. "Shit... I did that to you..? I hurt you like that." His breathing gets faster. Everything starts to blur, he couldn't handle this,he cried, speaking to himself,

"I promised I'd never be like him... I promised you I'd never be like him... What the fuck, why am I like him, why am I an abusive dick , and to the people I love more than myself" he starts to spiral and it got too much for you. You cup his cheek and make him look up at you, you wipe his tears away and try to reassure him "Genya, what you did today was inexcusable, but Genya,my love, you are nothing like your father." Your own tears started to spill from your eyes, "I know you love us, and I know how much you try just to see us happy. And I know you didn't mean to hurt any of us, your father can't say he did any of these things but you can. Genya please, don't say you're like your father because you aren't. You are kind, and sweet and..-" You are now crying, who were you kidding, you could never bring yourself to be cold to him, he was yours after all, your sweet, sensitive Genya. You hugged him tightly and he cried into your neck. He spoke in between muffled cries.

"I don't want to hurt you guys the same way he hurt me.."

"And you never will.... But please, don't ever do this again, not for me but for our children"

You guys cried some more and you finally talked it out. Genya held your fore arm gently in his hand, he rubbed it in his palm, a look of pain on his face. He kissed it gently and looked up at you "I will never hurt you again... You or our children. I promise, for real this time" You smiled at him and nodded "I know you never will... But... Do they?". You both knew you had to explain this to them, but how do you explain this to 2 four year olds and 1 two year old? Just as you two were contemplating that you heard little pit pat's make their way into your shared bedroom.

It was your two boys , tired eyes looking up to see you with Genya. They looked up at you and made grabby hands, signaling that they want to be with you on the bed. You pulled them up onto the bed instead of cuddling into your lap they went into Genya's. Both of you were shocked, did they really forget already? Your one son who was trying to protect you earlier spoke tiredly, little tear bubbles in his eyes. He held onto Genya tightly. "We missed you Daddy... Can we sleep with you?" The other twin nodded in agreement, too tired to speak. Genya couldn't handle it, a few tears running down his face, a soft smile making its way onto his features. He said quietly "Of course you can... You always can."

You decided to get your daughter who was luckily sound asleep to sleep with you all in the bedroom. You and Genya were so happy,your boys seemed to be better and you two finally made up. Genya held you all close to him. He kissed you all on the forehead as your son's drifted off to sleep. He whispered to you, his voice still slightly shaky. "If you wouldn't mind... Maybe I can call in sick tomorrow and stay here with you guys?" You giggle softly "You don't have to, I can tell all this work is very important to you" he says almost instantly,moving you closer to him, "Not as important as all of you.... You can show me how you take care of these three everyday. And I can help you, I can keep these two little guys entertained and you can get a break." He says with a smile. You kiss him on his jawline, making him blush. "I would like that" you say tiredly. Before you know it you all fall asleep

Yeah, Genya then decided from that day on he will always be there for his family, and nothing will ever come before all of you.

_______________________________________________________

Im glad this is done, lol, please like this it took a long time~

Leave requests if you want but I have exams right now so I might not get to them lol, if you want! I hope you enjoyed this little fic!

#demon slayer #x reader #kny au #kny genya #digital writing #shinaguzawa genya #genya my beloved #fandom #fanfic #kny angst #angst fic #kny fluff #fluff fic #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba genya

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf

37 - The Crows and The Sight

Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader, Robb Stark x F!Baratheon!Reader (Past)

Length: 21.1k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, past character deaths, references to torture/rape/mutilation, trauma flashbacks, smut, oral (m and f receiving), p in v, soft dom/sub dynamics, rough sex, bdsm/bondage

Notes: Jon's brain broke a little during this one, didn't it? Previous Chapter Here, Series Masterlist Here

“I've never seen you down here so much before, I don't think.”

Her voice echoed as she walked towards Jon. The cool air of night was a little less harsh down in the crypts, closer to the ground with torches lighting the whole path. Jon barley glanced to his sister before turning away to where he had kept finding himself. “Never had much of a reason too until I came back.”

But that reason then, was the one buried a few feet from where Jon stood. As Arya came up to his side, she felt strange looking at it as it felt to hear the truth. Neither said a word for a moment, letting the quiet sit between them as Arya did what Jon kept doing. Looking for him in the face of her statue, and finding not anything near what they both once wished they would learn.

“Still strange to think about. It was her all this time.” Jon nodded, his jaw clenched more as he felt that similar strain in his chest. His heart hurt thinking about it. About how he was even here. He was her son, but if he could take back what it cost to bring him into this world, he would. No one deserved that, let alone his own mother. Arya looked up to him from where she stood, seeing the conflict in how tense he had been. “When I got angry, I didn't mean any of it about her.”

As his voice low and rough, he barley managed to mutter out, “I know.” Arya was finally starting to understand a bit of how Jon must have felt talking to their father about it. Now that he knew the truth, he barley wanted to say anything. He barley wanted to talk about her. But Jon found himself unable to change that.

He didn't want to talk about the worst parts of his life as it was, let alone this.

But what he did talk about, was the one they both knew. “It's not easy to accept. That everything I thought I didn't understand about him, was all beacuse of me. Spent my whole life wishing he'd pay attention to me the way he did Robb.” They both stood quiet for a moment, his voice low enough were it not silent in the crypts none may have heard him. “For a while, I thought he left me to the Wall beacuse he didn't care. Got there and it was worse then anyone had told me, and I thought that meant he thought that's the future I deserved.”

Arya tried to interrupt him, something just as quiet but more desperate in her voice as she look up at him. “He always loved you, he loved all of us.” Jaw even more clenched, he nodded and willed the pressure behind his eyes not to sting.

He still was not strong enough to want to cry in front of his mother, let alone his baby sister. “Lord Howland said what they did to the Targaryean children, they would've done to me if they found out.” Neither of them quite noticed just how separated he phrased that. “The Wall was the only place far enough away that King Robert might not have been able to get to me. That's why he let me go. I asked Uncle Benjen to convince father to let me go, but he only agreed beacuse he wanted me as far away from the crown as possible.”

Her voice still was quiet, more easily full of a heavy emotion then Jon let his. “That's why he wouldn't name you a Stark. He didn't want any more attention on you then there had to be.”

It explained a lot the more he thought about it. Why he refused to talk about his mother, tell him her name or what she looked like. Why he kept Lady Catelyn just as in the dark about it, and put up with the problems between them. But Jon didn't want to think about her either, beacuse then he and Arya would have to face what she had become, what she tried to do. And neither of them were ready for that either.

Jon hadn't once taken his eyes off of Lyannas statue, he was still as much a Stark he always thought he had been, but now it hurt far more then the actual lie ever did. “The last thing my mother did was beg father to protect me. Begged him to promise to keep me safe.” That sting begun and his face twisted almost in frustration over it. “I only ever had a week with her, and the one thing my mother did before she died was beg father to protect me.”

“He did the best he could.”

Jon nodded, his voice just as strained. “He did. I just hope he knows that, knows that I still love him.”

If it were any of his siblings other then Arya, he wouldn't have felt comfortable enough letting something so raw slip out. But she wouldn't judge him for it as he wouldn't had it been her. “Right before Joffery ordered Illyn Payne to take his head, Cersei tried to convince him to send him to the Nights Watch.”

That pain in his heart, just radiated a little stronger in him as she continued. “No one thought he'd confess to treason beacuse he didn't do anything wrong, but he did. To protect Sansa, to protect me.” There was a pause a she considered how to phrase it but came out on the other side with the most simple of it. “And beacuse if he was at the wall, father knew he could still protect you.”

Jon's chest genuinely hurt, the pain growing and growing. He had said that day to Maester Aemon, that if choosing between love and duty, his father would choose duty no matter what. But he didn't. His father chose love in the end, in more then one way. To protect his daughters, and maybe even, to protect him. Jon felt that strange twist of warmth yet agony, knowing he had more of a father in Ned Stark then he ever once previously thought.

But it wasn't quite his father his mind had begun thinking about as they stood there.

The past few days especially, there had been a few boy names running through Jons head. But it was the only easy thought in his head as he looked up at the statue where his mother was buried. That he hoped you would let him give you a daughter. And he hoped you both would be able to raise her the way his mother never had the chance to for himself. He had a few boy names for the father and brothers hes lost along the way. But Jon wanted a daughter too.

Even just one, so he could name her Lyanna.

The night felt as if it were going easy, but the longer it went on the more you thought to what was coming. You both had agreed to it, and discussed it at length. More length then you think you understood it had so much detail given to you, but you agreed to it. Night when little was around, and when the sky was bright and clear so little could cloud your mind if such things were possible.

You did not know Lord Howland well still, but he knew much of you. If just what was possibly happening to your mind, even if neither of you had the proper ways to explain it. All he knew was from what he saw of raising his son, and could only guide you from that as he knew it. No matter how much what you might see continued to frighten you.

It seemed from what you could gather, the people who may have answers more would be the free folk, living with wonders beyond the wall as if normal. But as it stood, the ones you knew, weren't currently here and so it left you and Lord Howland to bond. He knew as soon as you told him you dreamt of that day in Dorne, what that meant.

The Godswood felt even colder then normal, as if the nighttime around surrounded your bones even no matter what you could have done to change it. If any ears were listening, it would make little sense to who was there. “If this wasn't the it worked for your son, why do you think it would me?”

Lord Howland walked calm and quiet beside you, as Ghost followed close on the other. The moon high in the sky, no fire was even needed to see, the moonlight shining against the white snow all around as bright as a sun could. “He was only a boy with dreams, but that is how it seems you started, your grace. It begins with dreams, but in lesser time you have surpassed ever what Jojen was able too.”

It felt quiet, very quiet. As if the time had put everything to sleep but you three in the thick woods surrounded the area. “I thought you said he has the Sight.”

You wondered if this sort of confusion was how it felt when the Reed children showed up to help Bran, the confident calm in the man beside you speaking of things you barley comprehended, but had to trust despite how little your brain was wrapping around it. “The Sight, dreams, they are all things which guide others. They are gifted from one with greater abilities to help aid in whatever goals they need people like us to do. My son was gifted the Sight to aid Brandon Stark, perhaps it has been gifted to you for a greater purpose. If your dreams have become visions this strong, then something much stronger then your mind alone might be needed to understand it.”

As the Weirwood came into sight, you shook your head as the pain increased behind it. “And you think Weirwoods have something to do with that?”

His eyes stretched upwards to look upon how red it shined even now, much like the eyes of the direwolf watching in a protective silence. “The First Men believed that greenseers could see through the eyes of the Weirwoods. That the faces in the trees are involved. Somehow connections to them let those with such abilities see things beyond the world you and I can with our own two eyes.”

Coming up beside him, you found something intimidating for the first time about it. A fear of what your mind could become. But it was not stopping, and you had to do something. If you could understand even a sliver of it, maybe that would help. But you had no understanding of what to do, and Lord Howland could only give so much to that. “So, what do I do?”

Turning with nerves running ragged through your limbs wanting to shake, he merely stepped forward as his hand moved from where he had them clasped behind his back to gesture the carved face. “If answers lay here, your grace, only they know how to do it.”

Turning away, you could see Ghost circling around as if to find a point to keep eyes on you properly at any angle. The face sat as it always did, but the only time you came here wondering why you. Whatever this was, why you, why now, why so sudden and why had it taken over your life without any control?

If it was them, what did they want from you? You were nothing to the kinds of old powers Howland Reed spoke of. You weren't even a Northerner. But you stepped forward. Pulling a glove off, you let your fingertips hovered and traced over the white of the bark and felt nothing but as it always stood. Still no answers came, but you kept on there anyways, hoping whatever could see through the faces weren't laughing at you a foolish Southern girl pretending she mattered to their purpose.

Glancing back, your lips parted as if wanting to say something in doubt but you found nothing but a reassuring nod from the man to continue. He was patient if nothing else. Circling along it's surroundings, you felt nothing and nothing as your hand found itself flat upon the bark. Suddenly, you could hear the barking of Ghost without seeing him, until that barking turned to many and more and even though in the same castle walls, everything was different.

Everything was worse, and you had not the consciousness to know why in your present.

The air was grim, though it always was now. He made sure of it. In the thin dresses given to you, there was nothing but a shift under to hide the rest and only you were lucky if the sleeves were long enough you could hide your hands within them.

He did this often, found ways to make a spectacle of how little you could fight back in front of others, just letting it happen so he would not take it out of them and he knew it. So he instead, always made it a show for no pleasures but him and his hounds. Those same hounds you could hear barking up a storm not so far from where you stood.

Ramsay would starve them for days so they would run rabid and aggressive, these big, terrifying hounds that were trained only for him. You were lucky since reaching Winterfell, Roose Bolton would not allow you to leave the castle walls at all. So you were spared from the terror of him using them to hunt you through the woods, as he would force you and Theon to watch him do to others on the journey here.

He loved that. Bringing his vile mistress with him, and together they would drag you and Theon with them to watch them hunt down whomever they saw fit. Sometimes Ramsay would kill them, sometimes Myranda would, many times though, he'd let his hounds tear them to shreds. At least here, he would only throw you in with them if he saw fit.

You'd rather it be done sooner, then be chased and have it end after thinking only long enough you could escape. Once Ramsay and his hounds chased you, there was no way of escaping him. He'd find you, and if you were lucky, would kill you quick.

But today wasn't about hunting, it was about torment. His favourite past time with his two playthings and it was now your turn to bare the brunt of it. “You look cold, my bride.”

Everyone was looking, you knew it, you could feel their eyes and wished they all would turn away and let you be shamed in private. But you were not so lucky, you were the only entertainment Ramsay saw fit to provide.

“Of course, you're not wearing much. Not that you need too, an obedient little bride you are, giving your soon to be husband access whenever he pleases.” His voice slunk up behind you, into your ear and made you shiver with a desperation to escape it. But he would not let you. Circling around like prey to his hunt and dangling you over the burning fire. “Isn't she so well trained? Of course, what use is being available to me at all times if no one truly sees that?”

Hands slunk over you, running along the back of your neck before grabbing hold of it with a roughness that jostled you, your heart speeding up trying not to flinch but failing anyways. He knew you wouldn't speak, wouldn't say a word. Not like this. You made it worse when you talked and you'd rather save that suffering from pity.

“But we aren't married just yet. And a good little bride doesn't whore herself out to any man who comes by asking for it. A good bride waits for her husband to break her in, but that isn't you is it? If I am to be your husband, why don't I deserve a wife that hasn't been broken in already?”

You weren't his wife, you never would be. You were Robb's wife, you were his. He was your husband, not this. It wasn't allowed to be this, and the sting behind your eyes grew. You would cry the second you were given any privacy alone, but never here. Your tears were only for Robb's memory, not Ramsay's cruelty.

His voice became louder, “Maybe the good people would like proof it isn't my fault I have such a whore for a bride. Show them who she really is, so they understand how much work is cut out for me.” Deep in your ear you stiffened and he grinned. “Tell me, do you miss your precious wolves? Would you like to see them again?”

End it now, you begged. End it now, slit your throat and be done with it so you could see your wolf again. But he didn't, he grinned, and stood somewhat behind you, hands on your shoulders as he spoke louder to the eyes of people with no other choice but to watch. “Were I a generous man, I'd do so right here. Prove my own brides worth, let my hounds out and take you themselves. But it wasn't hounds you loved, was it? No, it was your precious wolves that took your innocence when it belongs to me.”

It belonged to Robb. It still belongs to Robb, it always will.

One hand moved down to his waist before trailing up your front between your breasts now with a blade tracing the path with him. The edge just barley able to be heard tearing slight twinges of fabric as he once more grinned. “If you're a lucky girl, I'll find you a pack of real wolves to replace all your dead ones. Strip you right down,” A tear at your front, the fabric between your beasts tearing to expose the thin shift underneath as he continued to pull it downward. “And throw you in with them. We could all finally see our Queen in the North back where she belongs.” One much more aggressive tear, and the dress split enough he could tear it off.

Only your shift remained and you felt your limbs freezing already, your body shaking but you said not a word. “Just something for the wolves to fuck until I kill all of them too. Would you like that, my bride?”

That time, saying nothing was the wrong choice. A smack was felt across the back of your head with the blunt handle of the knife, before he circled round you. Kneeling to meet your eyes, asking again. “I asked if you'd like that?” Once more, you said nothing and that time his own hand smacked you hard enough you fell.

Freezing hands falling to break your fall in the snow as you felt shivering appear all over. “Speak up now, let everyone hear what a little whore my bride always has been.”

Your mind and the memory connected in one instance as a pair of hands grabbed you by your upper arms in front of you. But Ramsay wasn't grabbing you like that, he was behind you now, knife to your shift hissing in your ear as he tempted slicing the rest of it all open the and there.

An entrancing rasp you never thought would grace your mind ever again floated through the air, and warmth that pulled you into a softness. Until you gasped as they said your name louder then Ramsay did.

Weakly did your hands raise up as your mind returned, hands now sat high on Jons chest, his own cupping your cheeks looking you over, murmuring your name softly before surging forward to press a kiss to your forehead. Pulling back he ran a hand over your hair cupping the back of your head. “Hey, you're alright. It's alright, darling, I've got you.”

If it was just slight fear, he might not have gone against what Howland Reed told him, which was to leave you be in the Sight. But you knew, that Jon could tell what specific terror you were seeing. But you wouldn't say it, not to Jon. Some things about Ramsay he didn't ever need to know.

Shaking your head, Jon helped you stand properly from where you seemed to have found yourself more knelt to the ground as you were there. Turning slightly to the side, his voice a tad louder. “Give me a moment with her.”

Lord Howland leaving with a small bow of, “Your Grace,” before leaving just the cold air between you, Jon and Ghost watching silently close by.

The hand still on your cheek ran back and forth, the warm leather soothing the cold against them as he let the hand at your hair rake through it gently again. His voice a low rasp only for you, “You saw Ramsay didn't you? Wherever you were in there.” Nodding, he sighed out, your hands trailing up so one ran along the skin to the back of his neck. “I don't want you out here doing this, if it's going to make you relive these things.”

Shaking your head, both of you noticed the lack of conviction in your own voice. “Jon, it's important I understand whatever this is.” Letting your other hand run down his chest until it slunk beneath his fur cloak to rest at his waist you pulled him just a tad closer as you felt another shiver. “Sometimes it may mean I see things I don't want too.”

“I don't want you going through all that again, what he did to you? You were finally starting to feel better, but now..” He didn't want your mind going back, neither did you, but you didn't like many places your mind and person were taken now.

Your heart felt heavy at the wide, bright look in his eye of something mixing with a heavy worry with a gentle affection. “Everything I've seen, it has to mean something. Maybe it's trying to show us an answer.” Asking to what, you hesitated before your shoulders dropped as did your confidence. “To a question we don't know yet, perhaps. I need to do this, I have to understand it. It's not going away so we have to deal with it.”

Forehead dropping to yours, he sighed deeply. “The second it starts to be too much, I need you to tell me. I'm not letting you push yourself like this more then you already are. You've done enough.” You'd argue if you either thought you could win, which you couldn't. Or if you disagreed.

It was Robb's memory haunting you in your mind there, but it was Jon who was the wolf in front of you now. He was the one who had done enough, but Jon would never stop doing things, fighting for others as long as someone had too. Maybe, he was right. Maybe your place wasn't a fight anymore, maybe it was something else and you were the one who needed to accept that.

Your purpose couldn't be something risking your life now, beacuse perhaps, your purpose was the man right in front of you. For whatever reason, you didn't know, but you didn't want that reason to trouble him anymore. That wasn't what he deserved.

Pulling him a tad closer, you leaned against the Weirwood as Jon wrapped an arm gently around your waist to pull you in. Your head finding his neck as he pressed a kiss to where his lips landed in your hair to muffle against it. “It's happening to you without your control, I don't want you willingly doing it everyday too. If you're out here, I don't want to find you like this every time.”

There was no true conviction in his order, but you nodded. Wrapping your arms around him more, easing yourself into his comforting warmth. “As my King, commands.”

You felt both a breathy chuckle against you and the smirk he gave doing it. Kissing your hair once more, he pulling you back to look you properly in the eyes, nothing but an affection left. “Since when do you listen to me just beacuse I order it?”

Only a shrug came in response, making him grin more. “Since now.”

Jon shook his head this time, “Good, beacuse my next order is for you to let me warm you up with a nice bath, and find you something to eat for once.” Your smile soft and easy as your tone was light as you asked him if it was in that order. But Jon only narrowed his eyes as he ran his nose over the length of yours. “Call it an excuse to hold you for a while.”

Pulling you very gently to your feet, he kept you tucked to his side without any care of how much the other seemed to cling. It always was like this for a while after your mind did this now. Relying on him, and Jon being glad you let yourself do so. Only with Jon, did you find yourself liking needing his comfort to lean against so much. “I'm your wife now, you can do that whenever you like.”

Perhaps something more playful would've been on his mind, but he still could see the terror on your face. Teasing could come later, for now, his only duty was to make sure you didn't fall asleep that night as haunted as you looked now.

He couldn't bring himself to do it, so easily let you explore such facets of ability when each time he watched it grow harder on you. It was brutal and tormenting, and he refused to sacrifice your well being just to understand what was happening. There were other ways, and he'd figure those out himself.

Constant influxes of reports from the castles guarding the wall, searching for answers on his own, working with what Sam kept finding and connecting things from there as well as building up the defences of the North and training his people. Jon felt swarmed with things to do, but he had to do them and he would happily add taking on what you felt like your responsibilities as long as you didn't end everyday looking as unsettled as you looked now.

But still he thought, why was his family like this? Associated so strongly with something not of this world, why did the blood of the Starks all feel as if something were unique about them when it was not as such for those like his father, like his Uncle Benjen. And why did it now inflict you? The world begged Jon to care about the wars in it's own soils, but his father had told him, he was of the North.

And it was the North that called to Jon more then the running of a Kingdom as normal. His focus has to be on the worst coming and the here and now, and it was a balancing act he struggled with when half of that were things he barley understood. You were good at the day to day things, so that became the focus Jon wanted for you.

Let him do the struggling work and you do the things which laid off on the torment in your eyes at the end of each night. Jon just wished that he could trust you would let it stay that way. But he knew you dreamt strange visions and nightmares too, and as he would lay awake at night, keeping you close in his arms watching you, there was not a thing he could do to stop what was happening in your mind as much as he wasn't able to his own strangeness.

The Winter storms were fast approaching, and they begged answers Jon had not yet discovered the questions too. He just wished the answers didn't seem to lie inside your mind, and yet Jon continued to not tell you of his own dreams. You slept beside him, but he still dreamt of you in visions as if you were thousands of miles away. Your mind was trying to give answers to one thing, Jons the answers to you.

The world was nothing but a mess and everyone in it, but all Jon could do was grab onto those he cared about and hope he was strong enough to keep them close when it all would blow over in the freezing cold.

With a tilt of his head, you could see the pouring amount of petty annoyance dripping from Gendry's expression.

Taking the moment to work over the metal in front of him, you had stopped to see him in the armoury, and Gendry happy to have a distraction. If not with attitude. “You weren't lying when you said everyone in this family is insufferable.”

Of all things, you knew choosing that moment to look away with a smirk only proved his point thus further. So far the only ones who knew who Gendry really was, remained the two of you, Ser Davos, Selyse, and Jon. Gendry wasn't particularly happy at first when you informed him you had told Jon the truth, he had been avoiding him ever since. Not a family in your blood good with facing your problems head on, but in turn you only looked flatly at him. “So which version of him should I have lied to? The part of him that is my husband, or the part of him that is my King?”

He had in turn glared at you with not genuine malice behind it, “You saying you always have told all these Kings you know the truth about everything?”

Many years had gone by since you had any companionship like Gendry. You were far less quick on the tongue with him now compared to your days spent with Renly. Similar they both were, you could see easily the Baratheon charm in his blood, his humour, the ease of how snarky he could be and the degree to which mocking and teasing came at others expense. But he was easier going then Renly, and coming from a life of low birth meant there was nothing about his intentions anywhere you completely mistrusted.

Staring notably as you thanked Olly for something, and who walked off without a word, your head fell to the side slightly, holding a sigh back. Blinking once before turning your attention to the metal work between you both, you felt Gendry's stare as the boy left. Asking what was wrong with him, you shook your head properly before barrelling passed it. It was Olly's pain to work through, and if he wanted to do so in silence towards you, then so be it. But you wouldn't do him a disservice by discussing it with others.

The conversation had mostly turned to him elaborating on the stories he told you that first night in Barrowton, leading to somewhat of a petty disagreement that now sat between you. Mostly, regarding the choice to bring Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrian, with you. He kept no anger from his eyes or voice out here.

“Everything they did to you-”

Turning with a sharp glare, you cut him off quick. “They did not do any of that. Stoneheart did. It was her orders, her choice. I won't blame them for someone else's actions.” You could see there was something else on his mind when you spoke before he could once more. “You're allowed to be angry with them but don't pretend you're doing it on my behalf.”

The silence between you both was stubborn, glares sent the others way before he broke first. “Fine. I'm mad beacuse they said I could stay and be one of them, and then they sold me to the red woman and now it feels like I'm surrounded by all this shit all over again.”

Your face fell almost impassive looking. “Do you think you're the only one surrounded by the things that haunt you?” Gendry's eyes narrowed at you, but your voice was as rough and held back as your expression. “You reached out to me Gendry. I don't want you feeling as if I am forcing you to stay here. If you can't handle them being here then you shouldn't make yourself uncomfortable by doing so. But you aren't the only one here who has to look at the things that caused your suffering every single day.”

“I'm not leaving.”

Quick on the draw, you raised an eyebrow with a tone as even as could be. “No of course not, then who would be there to give Arya those disgusting love sick gazes every day.” It was his turn to go wide eyed, an offensive stammering as if he had anything to negate the notion when you moved towards the main courtyard. “Do yourself a favour, don't get caught staring at her like that in front of the King. The warning he will let you off with won't be quite as cavalier as mine.”

Trying to follow you, a struggle to keep his tone even as noticed easily. “She's a friend, she means a lot to me that's all there is to it-”

Face twisting into an easy disbeleif you looked back at him, “Who are you trying to convince?”

You trusted them little, but you still sat against the wall outside the iron bars. Thoros had most of the answers you sought, or at least he had the interest to do the talking to you. Beric watched in a careful silence most of the time as you were down there. “She served the Lord of Light as I did, it was not my place to assume her intentions.”

Your eyes glared over to him, waiting until he met the gaze before dropping them back down to your lap. Focusing once more away from Beric's stare. “No, it was your intentions to sell him off like cattle with no idea if he would even live through it. Which, if you both were wondering, he almost didn't.”

Legs spread out flat in front of you with one ankle resting gently over the other, you let your head fall flat against the stone behind you, a raise in tone a little more on the edge of condescending. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's beginning to sound as if the charges are piling up against you two.”

Thoros let out a chuckle, coming up more as a hum in his chest as he looked away. “We have been in far worse places then here, your grace.”

Rather short, it sounded from your mouth more angry and dismissive then you had intended. “So have I.” Turning back to look at them both, your voice kept the same but something more sorrowful sat in your gaze then theirs, as you nodded to Beric. “You think those scars are anything? The only thing you lost each time was your life.”

Not much could be said, they heard as much as any else did that night. There was little which refuted that the two of them didn't have any legs to stand on. Beric's tone was quiet as he finally found his voice from where he sat. “And what has your King seen?” The only indication you heard, was your eyes slightly flickering up forwards but did not commit to finding his face in return. “The true fight we are here for. He understands death, he understands returning to life as we do, but does he truly understand what we are up against? How much more important it is then-”

Closer to something akin to a growl as you felt your nails tense in your own palms, digging deeper by the second. “He understands better then you two. Better then any of us.” Finally seeking their gaze, taken back themselves with the darker colours painting your eyes in a seethe. “Whatever your god has shown you is nothing compared to what we are really up against. But what do we have left if we sacrifice everything and everyone we have to stop it? What's left in the world if we treat the people we care about as that creature leading you? What are we fighting for if we let ourselves become as bitter and hollow as she?”

Beric's voice was a whisper, only heard in the echo of the dungeon. “Survival alone isn't enough?”

Your lips parted to answer, but not your voice which spoke out in the darkness. That one was holding far too deep and rough of a rasp to come from you. “No. It isn't.”

Nodding for the guards to wait outside, Jon moved in between them as the door closed behind him. Were you the one in the cell, you would've said he looked rather intimidating this way. Fur dark and broad over his shoulders and the only light in the fire making the blacks in his clothes, hair, eyes all shine in a shadowing way as he approached. Voice low as he stared down both of them you sat on the other side of. “If I let people like you do whatever you want in your gods name, what's going to even be left for us to care about if we win?”

Motioning with barley a twitch of his fingers at the sudden gesture of you moving to stand, Jon came before you, now in between you and the bars as he now blocked part of their view of you, your eyes only able to see the fur and cloak draped down his shoulders, and his hair up and back.

Beric this time was the talker, and Thoros found it in him to be quiet. It seemed both men had their targets of conversation in mind beforehand. “And I would say it's on the side of selfish to think we are the ones who matter. The world we live in matters, not the whims and wishes of the people in it.”

You'd be willing to wager Jon's eyes were growing in a painting from grey to more of a black as the tensity in his shoulders increased. “Have you ever known what it feels like to think you have no one in the world who cares about you?” Heart in your chest twisted as did his, like you both could feel the pain wrapping around the same vines tethering you both to one another as he looked down at them. “I have. I know what losing everything and everyone you care about feels like, it didn't make me feel as if I was doing the right thing. Just made me feel angry. And alone.”

Both men had lost much and Beric more in himself but still, you knew they didn't understand. Not the way you did. Your foot by his just barley shifted to lean against what you could reach of his ankle as if that sensation over all that blocking your skin to his, still was enough to send a shiver up Jons spine. Your voice behind him was equally as quiet, but more breathless in a knowing. “You don't give people a selfish reason to keep going, and they just won't. They'll give up and let winter take them instead of fighting for the nothing they have left.”

From where you were, you couldn't see Beric as Jon likely intended, but you could once more meet the eyes of Thoros. And that feeling chilled in your mouth swallowing down to your lungs as he watched you through Berics words. “We are the Lords servants. You, me, all four of us. We serve him and that is why we have all come together. What we want beyond that no longer matters.”

It was morose. A dreary thought full of no life or love being asked of you and yet that deep love is what drove every action Jon chose. It was what kept him going better then everyone else you'd ever know, Jon was made of something different then any man you had ever met and without that need to protect and love, there would only be the darkest parts of himself left. And he didn't deserve that.

“What would you have me do, walk you out to my people, the ones who lost their loved ones beacuse of your men and tell them their grief doesn't matter?” They wouldn't know Jon well enough to pick up on the edge, but something of a nerve was struck. Something you didn't quite know how deep it was rooted, and yet you felt it ping in your own chest as if your pain. “Or that it shouldn't matter to them if they'll ever be happy again? You two put me in a position where keeping you alive is the right thing to do, but not beacuse you deserve it.”

If Thoros would stop looking at you, maybe you would have found it in you to stand by Jons side to try and even that anger but you felt pinned to the wall with something unnerving. You were truly starting to hate these priests and priestesses of this bloody fire god. They all looked at you the same, as if they knew something you didn't when none of their knowledge ever meant anything to you.

Jon gestured back to you with that edge only sharpening like a blade. “You're alive beacuse of her, and only her. I'd have executed you for what you did, what you almost let..” He struggled to find it in him to call her who she was supposed to be as much as you did. “Almost let that woman do. You can speak to her when she comes to you, but I'm not letting you try and convince her everything she already died for doesn't matter.”

Beric had no emotion in his voice which was different then the last. “And what did you die for, your grace?” If he thought he had Jon on something, he was wrong.

Jon didn't hesitate, but you did feel the weight in his tone heavy as it always was whenever someone was brave enough to bring it up, which was uncommon. “I died for her. She was being kept prisoner here, and escaped. So I tried to go after her, to find her and protect her beacuse I love her.” Don't let them see the clawing at your chest you told yourself, don't clam up now at how freely he could say it any and everyone when in this very home years ago you two were too scared to share those words. “I didn't die for any fight, I died beacuse the men who betrayed me didn't want me to protect the woman I love.”

Finally, Thoros peeled his eyes up. A pale blue that begged a small ask which had not the intentions in his companion. “And where are the men who betrayed you, for betraying the cause you swore your life too?”

Jon, had the only answer that mattered. “Dead. And they didn't come back, one way or another. Not beacuse your god didn't need them, but beacuse no one cared about them enough to even try. If you died, my lord, can you say there is anyone out there who would bring you back?”

Thoros didn't argue that Beric would, nor did Beric speak up for him. And in honest, as Jon stood there that made him feel a bit unwell. There was not a thing any could do to stop him from bringing you back if Jon lost you again, and he knew without any doubt that you would be the same for him. If bringing Beric back to life tethered their fates together like Jons to you, it was tiny in comparison.

Jon had a purpose to protect the North and his people, but he had just enough room for that purpose to also be you. His cause was helping the North survive and fight before the army of the dead could destroy anything South beyond them. But Jon knew, the only reason he wanted to do any of that was beacuse he had people he cared about.

He had many he cared about, Ghost, Sam, Tormund, Edd, but now he had more family then he ever imagined once upon a time. He had you, the woman he loved more then anyone else, more then he could love any other person. But now? He also had Arya again. And Jon too, would not hesitate to kill anyone who tried hurting her, wouldn't hesitate on anything if someone tried to take his baby sister away again.

Jon fought for a purpose, but he lived for you all. Ghost and his girls, that's what Jon lived for. His direwolf, his wife, his sister, and his mother. Jon would never consider her life a casualty needed for something else.

He had been speaking more and more to Howland Reed. Of Rhaegar's actions in the rebellion, and from what he had figured out on his own. He knew some from his son Jojen, but they were always spoken in confusion, not understanding what he saw without his father painting the picture. And perhaps that's why this idea made him sick. That you needed to sacrifice everything for one purpose and damn the people in your life or what happens to them to get there.

The rebellion, the lives lost and ruined, Jons grandfather and uncle burned alive that started it all, none of it was really about Lyanna. It was about Jon, and he felt that burning hatred grow. All Rhaegar needed was to pretend he could fufill some delusion. Once he had raped Lyanna Stark enough to know she was pregnant, he left for war beacuse Jons existence was all that mattered.

Noble knights, skilled Kingsuard and valiant men like the Sword of the Morning did not fight his father and six other men to the death to hide a dying teenage girl from her brother. They had fought to keep the Last Dragon's third child, last living child, from being taken away from whatever destiny the crown prince had thought was his.

Jons father by birth created him from blood and violence beacuse he thought destiny was all that mattered, but the father Jon lost, the father Jon missed everyday? He had taken Jon in as his own son, beacuse he knew what mattered was loving him.

To Jon, as he stood there staring down Beric Dondarrian, he thought to himself, this was exactly the kind of dangerous mentality that Rhaegar had ruined the Seven Kingdoms with. And Jon refused to lead like that into the storms of winter. He wasn't special or a hero, he was just a dead man who had to fight beacuse the innocent deserved someone who stands up for their right to live.

It wasn't until he felt a slight pressure near the fur across his shoulder blades did he realize you had stood up. Breaking his dark glare at the man, he turned to you and the grey returned far softer then before in a split moment. His name soft on your lips like a sirens call that calmed him instead of crazed his mind, that was all it took to bring Jon back down.

Men like this, like Rhaegar fought for fate and destiny. Jon though, looked at you as you held that narrow eyed concern, that silence gazing at him begging him to let you take care of him instead and felt impatient inside now. Turning back to them, Jon let his arm drift across your waist to pull you into his side ever so carefully to not jostle you. His gaze back on the two men as his tone was short and rigid and what came out of it was so unexpected you almost let a laugh burst you. “By the way, I wouldn't let her come down here, but Arya wanted me to tell you both to burn in hell.”

Jon dragged you along with him to leave, and as soon as the door closed behind him did a smirk find its way onto his lips as a breathless laugh did yours. Your side leaning more comfortingly into his as Jon adjusted his grip to keep you against him while walking. “They are behind bars, I presume she would be safe enough.”

Muttering just as low in your ear, Jons eyes brightened watching your own laugh grow at his next words. “It's not her safety I'd be worried about.”

He was trying to keep you away from things, you were sure of it. Taking so much of it onto himself and hide the worst from you, but it left you feeling on the side of rather useless. Trying to do things to ease the amount of weight on his shoulders without going against his words or wishes. But Jon didn't make that a simple task, not with how well he paid attention to you.

Always meeting with someone or another, having to handle this and that and go over the running of a kingdom with trying to save it and everytime you offered your help, Jon would pull you to him with a hand gentle at the back of your head to press a kiss, murmuring he was handling it.

Jon's mind always running around something, even now curls loose, dressed down and settled he stood by the fire in his chambers, a hand braced on the stone above as you could see his mind unable to stop. Likely he barley even heard you, coming up quietly behind him until your palms ran flat up against his back until you were mostly pressed against him. Voice soothing as you leaned up closer to his ear, “Jon.”

Sighing out, Jon let his free hand reach behind him, grabbing at one of your arms to pull it around and wrapped by his front, your other hand willingly doing the same as he grabbed one of your hands, holding it there as best he could from that angle. Rasping low, “We haven't been together since our fight.”

It wasn't anger nor judgment, yet you suspected the trace of insecurity seeping through the doubt you could detect. Leaning your front more against him, you pressed a kiss where the back of his head you could reach first, mumbling against his curls. “I'm sorry.”

Jon shook his head, but there was something else attached to it that weighed on him. His brows furrowed and from what you could see, something more upset on his face then he wanted you to know about. “Don't be, it's not your fault. I just can't figure out if it's only about Ramsay..or if it..” Prompting him to continue, murmuring his last words with an ask to continue, Jon sighed deeply again. That time his voice was certainly insecure. “If it has to do with you learning the truth. About me.”

Were you strong enough, you'd have turned him in your arms to face you instantly. Rather you even tried slinking from his grasp as you gently murmured his name, “Jon,” But he kept you in place, and it pained you. He didn't want you to see how upset the thought made him. As if you cared about that sort of thing. “Why would that have anything to do with us?”

Forehead resting more against his shoulders, as if trying to nuzzle as close to him as possible. Were you not right there, you wouldn't have heard him so clearly. “Being in love with Eddard Stark's bastard is one thing, but it's a whole other to say you want to be with a son of Rhaegar Targaryean.” Oh you knew that stiffness in his body was a desperation to keep that resolve as together as he could.

How long has that been a fear? How long has he been worrying that was it?

Head dropping to what you could of his neck, you left a long but tender kiss to the skin until you felt him relax even the tiniest bit. “Jon, I've suspected this since our first night on Dragonstone. And not anytime after did that ever cross my mind as something against you.” You pressed another, and a third trying to reach his jaw, barley scratching your lips to his facial hair. “Who your blood is has nothing to do with wanting to be with you. I've wanted to be with you since I was a girl, and I'm not about to change that now. You are not someone's son to me, you're Jon Snow. You're my King, and the man I love. No one else is allowed to have a say in that. Not anymore.”

Head dropping a little, he held your hand tighter before taking the hand braced on the stone to grab your other free one and bring it up to his lips. A kiss long and almost needing left on the back of it before he held it more against his chest. It took him a good moment to find any words, and you let him take whatever length of time he needed. “Ever since I came back, I'm always worried I'll scare you. I've never wanted anything more then the way I want you. And it scares me to think I'm too much for you..or you'll realize where that comes from and want nothing to do with it.”

Your heart beat too painfully, you needed to tame this now before it broke you or him. But it was the small smile you saw forming on his face as you spoke that said choosing the lighter path was the right one. “I hate it to be the bearer of obvious news, Snow. But you've always been like this, bringing you back didn't change that. It just means sometimes we add more inappropriate things to what we do, now.” Voice whispering softer, you rested your head somewhat against the side of his. “And it isn't anything. It isn't a Rhaegar thing or even a Ned Stark thing. It's just you. This is how you and I are and no one else has anything to do with that.”

Finally, you felt Jon turn his head just enough to the side he pressed against you a little easier as he muttered roughly, “No, I know it's different this time. Something changed when you brought me back, every moment I'm not with you feels like hell.”

“I don't see anything wrong with that so far.” Jon called your name in a bit of a sternness, finally breaking the hold between you both as he turned to face you. Only, you reached up first. Cupping both of his cheeks, letting your thumbs run gently along his jaw as you felt his hands settle instantly on your waist to pull you closer. “We spent six years trying to not go too far. And now after everything that's happened, we're back here. Together. Maybe this is just our way of making up for lost time. Beacuse I have no complaints about the way you care about me. So if you are not going to let me talk down about myself to you, I will not let you do the same about yourself.”

Running his hands along your waist, you found yourself unable to look away from the bright shine in his grey eyes. A sight you'd never get enough of, as well as the entrancing husk always so deep and rough attached to his voice. “I'm not trying to pressure you. I miss you, that's all.”

Exhaling, you looked up at him quietly for a moment. In some moments Jon was just as insecure about things as you were and it made sense why he fought against that noise so loudly in your head. Jon shouldn't have worries like that, and you felt none of the panic that stopped you before this time.

Leaning up, Jon took over to close the gap between your lips himself as soon as he caught on. Your hands drifted behind him, running through his curls as he reached up to keep your lips in his kiss, hands holding your cheeks with much more urgency then you had his.

Soft and memorizing, but still needing and harsh. Deepening his kiss with every breathe from you he stole, and easily begun to pull small high pitched sounds from you. Gifting the noises into his kiss as it all made him rumble deep in his chest. Pressing himself much more firmly against you as his teeth just barley nibbled your bottom lip. You of course, granted him permission with a shameless ease.

Licking into your mouth, Jon brushed his tongue against yours. Coaxing you to follow ,to explore him as much as he adored doing to you. Your nails scratched along his scalp, and a deep growl came from his chest. His hand tilting your head up more to be at his mercy, keeping you at a perfect position to taste each time he let his tongue slip back to brush along yours.

His other hand moved to trail down your neck, thumb running along the middle of your throat and down, wasting no time nor having the patience to play nice. A rough hand sliding into the collar of your dress, finding your breast and groping with a rough greed. Your insides twisted almost right away and you gasped as his fingers roughly twisted the small bud peaking for his touch.

Almost as if Jon was kissing you in the same rhythm his hand and fingertips teased you, his other joined finally, gently pulling your dress's collar down indecently until he pulled away from your lips with a bite. Frustrated at the fabric Jons eyes flew down to gauge what he had to work with, and instead choosing to yank it down with a tear in the fabric, exposing your breasts to him and the cold air of his room.

Eyes black as the night sky outside, Jon's face was harsh and close to stern should you not know better as he just stared with no guilt nor shame. As if you were on display for him, Jon suddenly grabbing your hip and guiding you further into the room, the back of your knees hitting the bed. Not letting you fall back onto it, he gathered the material of both sides of the skirt, finding nothing underneath of a shift he exhaled, almost pausing before taking it all off.

He let it drop wherever it landed as he guided you to sit, but you had nothing but eyes for his black, harsh ones all over you. Kneeling down however, his touch was gentle when his gaze was pure greed, grabbing at the sides of the only fabric left covering you and pulling it down slowly. Giving you the chance to lift your hips to left him, his head dropping to carefully take it off from each leg.

But then he stayed knelt there. The fabric clutched tightly in his hand as Jon just stared at you, at what was between your legs, before trailing up to your scar and staying silent as he looked to it just as long. Your eyes so focused on his intense ones, had you entirely miss Jon not letting your underwear join what was to be a continued pile of clothes, rather he shoved it in a pocket of his own knowing your gaze was too distracted to see.

Finding your eyes once more, your own hands reached out in an instant, unlacing the middle of his shirt with more care then needed considering how bare Jon had you. Pushing it gently along his shoulders and tossing it more purposely somewhere safe in the distance, Jon was entirely silent as you did the same reaching for his pants. One hand of his cupped your cheek, leaning in enough to nudge your nose with his as his other helped make the process move quicker.

But you however, had other ideas sneaking up in your mind. Prompting Jon to stand up so you could pull them off, the second he stepped out of them Jon had the intention of kneeling between your legs once more to finally taste you as he was so desperate too, but you were quicker then his slower mind was feeling looking at you.

The warmth between your legs grew wet at the sight, as if it were possible to forget, your lungs hitched only for a moment as you looked at him. Cock was long, and despite being with him you swallowed almost nervously at how thick he was. You could feel the sting already and yet, you only craved that more and more. Hard as he could be, tinged slightly red as it begged for attention and you knew Jon would deny it in your favour. Too bad.

The moment your hands gently grasped his hips, one of his hands found your hair, raking through it as he looked down at you with eyes wide and bright. His akin to a frown while your expression being a genuine ask of permission. It wasn't his favourite, he preferred anything else he could do to you, but Jon was weak to the hopeful ask in your eyes. As if the politeness you waited for him to approve of with made his cock throb more then if you were greedy and debauched.

You wanted him to give you permission.

Running through your soft stands, Jons gaze softened, his voice barley audible as the heavy accent murmured through the weighted desire in his veins. “Go on,”

Nodding in his touch, Jon let out a shaking breathe just as your eyes slipped closed. You wanted to focus, only on him only what felt good. Jon so rarely let himself be the one receiving, he wanted to give and give he wanted to do the work but he deserved to be worshipped, and you wanted to be the one giving the offering before the idol. But all you could offer, was your mouth.

Only grasping his thick cock enough to guide you, your hand couldn't even wrap around him properly, a gentle lick along his tip and you instantly felt his hand tighten in your hair along with a hiss from above in your ears. A hum left your throat without notice, the thick taste of what seed already leaked from him as you tasted it like it was there just for you. Jon gave another shaking breathe, trying to control himself as you finally pressed a kiss like any other. One to his tip, and many more so gentle down his entire length. Never gripping him tight in your hand or stroking him, just a gentle hold so you could kiss and leave tiny licks to properly soak him better.

You trailed down one way, pressed a kiss at a tough angle along his lower hips, face brushing against the coarse, rough black hair at the base of his cock before moving kissing and licking down the other side. A light grip the whole way until you unwrapped your fingers, trailing them tenderly along his hips back to hold yourself steady against him.

Jon's hand in your hair adjusted, a sturdier grip as he, himself, contained the desire to ask you to look up at him. But he let you work, and as soon as you licked the tip of his cock until you gently took just that in your mouth, Jon realized how much you with your eyes closed, just enjoyed it as you tried to sigh around him.

You felt the stretch, but continued. Letting the saliva accumulate to properly soak him each inch you let him slide deeper. Only part way before you pulled back and sunk your mouth back on him. Back and forth did you suck him only half, Jon tensed under your hands but said nothing. He rarely did here, words didn't come easy to him normally let alone with this. You could hear his breathing pick up as you soaked his cock more and more, easing yourself into taking more of him at once.

You knew you could but gods he was long and merciless how thick he stretched anywhere inside of you like this. Fingertips flexing against his hips, Jon muttered inaudibly under his breathe as you got closer to taking his whole length. Not once did you pull off, the heaviness on your tongue, the salty taste of his seed as thick as he was coating your taste buds as you had to relax yourself.

Just as you came close, Jon's other hand moved. Grasping at one of your hands on his hips, trying to hold whatever of your fingers he could tightly and in that same instance did you whine as you took the rest of him down throat. “Gods..” Nose brushing against the hair at his base, you felt that overwhelming sensation of panic but yet you still slid almost all the way to the tip and then slowly right down all the way deep once more.

A hum in your throat, each time you pulled closer to off, your core twisted between the fight of needing air and reprieve, and craving the feeling of taking him deep again. Jons hands gripped your fingers and hair tight each time you sunk deep on him, the later trying desperately not to pull you down himself at his own pace.

Sucking and licking any and every sort of way on his cock, you almost made more noise then him, even in just tiny sounds deep from within at wanting more, wanting to taste everything he could spill down your throat with, wanting to feel him let go. Jon's head fell back, jaw clenched tight as he tried to contain every growl and groan trapped in his mouth. Throbbing in you, he raked his hand through the strands once more before dropping back down to look at you. Your eyes still closed, but Jons were wide and blown out in need. Mouth parted as he watched your head bob up and down on his cock, only ever doing what he knew was for his entire pleasure, wanting him to get the most out of it.

If his younger self could see such an image, Jon knew he would've lost his mind.

Deep husk against his voice in the air was harmonizing with the crackling of the fire, and the soft, wet sounds of your mouth around him. Jon wished he could make this exciting, make it filthy and vulgar just to be different but what slipped out was far too entrenched in affection. “Darling, fuck- look at yourself. You shouldn't enjoy this as much as you do, I know it's a lot for you to take,” Jons hand once more ran smoothly down your hair at the back of your head, subtly shifting your pace a little more shallow and a little deeper.

It was a strain on you, taking him so deep so consistently but gods did you hate pulling off him. As if it got harder and harder to stay away, Jon himself kept pushing you forward to take more and more of him as the whine in your chest rose up, fingertips flexing tightly against hips as you eagerly took him deep. You wanted to taste him, wanted Jon to spill down your throat so badly, you wanted him to enjoy something only for him.

Closer and closer did you feel him throb in your mouth, did the rambling grow through the thickness of such a deep Northern accent. “You are so beautiful. Don't deserve such a sweet, beautiful girl taking me like this.” You tried to argue back, but barley got anything passed the minor sound of nonsense protest. The hand on your hair slid slightly to hold closer to the side of your face, thumb running along the skin against your cheeks.

Your eyes closed, but Jon could see the tears slipping down he was so deep in your mouth, for so long with nothing to be your salvation. You would find only that once his seed was in your stomach. He wished he didn't groan your name so deeply, hold you tighter and throb more intensely at the sight but he did. Overwhelming such a small mouth so easily with his size and he wanted to fill it more and more until you had to swallow his every drop just to breathe again.

That was when his hand tightened, his voice dropped roughly. “Let me control the pace, alright?” Not an order, but Jon didn't like that anyways. He liked giving such gentle commands and waiting for you to agree which you always did.

Trying to relax as much as possible, Jon decided to return to your earlier pattern. Pulling you almost all the way off before pushing you all the way down, only his pace was faster. His pace was less kind and your moans and whines only made his cock harder. You were now just along for the journey, and you wanted no other use for your mouth then right here.

Faster and faster did Jon move you along his cock, his ramblings sometimes made sense, sometimes didn't but they were always mumbled or slurring as if he had no control of what the words were. “Fuck, you feel so good, doing so well- Taking me like you were meant too, mouth, cunt, everything made for me..let me spill down your throat, and I'll make you feel good. I promise darling, you just- just have to swallow everything I give you,”

Calling your name at attention, you moaned against him. A vague sound of your name before Jon more gentle then he ever had, carefully pulled your head down to take his cock deep as you could. Your nose pressed tight against the black hair, and Jons hand caressed the back of your head as he held your hand without failure.

Muscles tensing under your fingertips greatly, so did the strain in his voice and pain in your jaw as his cock stretched your mouth. Snapping, Jon finally came. Thick spurts of his seed poured down your throat deeply, spilling more and more as you swallowed around him, only making it worse. It was a taste you teared up at wanting to have had again, and your hands tensed tightly as muffled gagging came as Jon's seed was so copious in how much he fed you.

Not looking away from you the entire time, Jon kept you close as his mouth agape groaned your name like a quiet plea and kept you gently pressed against him while his cock was filling your mouth with him and his seed both. He wasn't even finished yet when he started up, breathless as anything, “Let me taste you, darling. I want- I need to taste you, I've missed you so much. You going to let me between you, make you feel good?”

A nod as you still swallowed him, milking every drop you were allowed to have until Jon hissed, pulling you off himself. Your mouth dripped as you gasped with the remains of your saliva and his seed, but did Jon not care. Grabbing both your cheeks, he leaned down finally, capturing your lips. Hands running though your hair, you felt his cock still just as unbelievably hard as he pressed you back into the furs of his bed, your legs spreading to accommodate him in an instant.

Barley pulling from your lips, Jon brushed against them as he spoke, “You're perfect, everything about you.” You shook your head, but Jon tilted your head enough he could rest his forehead against yours, both your eyes squeezed shut tightly, you could feel him frowning. “I love you, alright? I'd do anything for you, now let me do this one thing.”

You bit your lip, but Jon soothed it with a soft kiss, one to your lips, then forehead then finally trailing downward along your neck. “Jon,” Ignoring you, the needy high pitch of your voice giving away the blatant want, you had no other words. Neck with gentle kisses and brushes of his tongue down to your collarbones, Jons hands reached up to grasp tightly once more at your breasts.

Groping tightly with this thumbs running over the buds before pulling at each, your back arching up with a gasp. Hands grasping at his curls, and your hips moved to meet with his pushing into yours, Jons length now soaked from your mouth and just as hard brushing against your inner thigh. One bite after another and suddenly, with the yank of his fingers did Jon bite and tug at the other with his teeth, the core inside of you burning hot and nowhere to let it out but writhe against his touch and tighten hands in his hair.

Bruising the skin as your muscles tightened trying to contain the gasps in you, but Jons mouth was unforgiving and rough. Marking you up and this time the more you so eagerly moved against him the rougher and rougher he got, the more growls in his chest came out as his hands left marks of his fingertips as well as indents of his teeth.

If Jon was anything it was currently greedy. Yanking his mouth from your breasts, you felt them sting in the air as Jon grabbed a hand in his curls. Placing it up and beside your head against the fur below, he bit at your lip all the same. “Stay just like this, I'm going to take care of you.” You almost whined his name not even knowing what you were trying to ask when he kissed you gentle, hand now cupping your cheek and pulling back. “No, relax and enjoy yourself. That's a command, darling.”

You'd laugh if he didn't have you so worked up, so heart poundingly overwhelmed at how good his bare frame felt against yours, how soft his lips were and how much he changed to rough the second he grasped and bit at your breasts before returning to soft and slow. Trailing his lips along the scar, Jon hovered over it for a moment longer then you knew by until he slunk down on the bed.

Prying your legs wide, Jon moved one to sit with your foot flat as far as he could push it, while wrapping an arm around your other thigh, holding it up and wide closer to his head. You felt his warm breathe hovering over your clit, as if contemplating himself which way he wanted you, but he chose the path he couldn't keep up.

Small, gentle brushes of his tongue along your clit, he would then trail it along your thighs, kissing the length and back to your clit with his tongue and then once more to the other thigh. A pattern until he pressed his tongue wider against you and dove right in.

Flat against your core, Jon licked down to to drink up everything already there as he groaned. Pressing his forehead against your mound for a moment, “You get this wet just having my cock in your mouth?”

Pushed up on your elbows you looked down to see his dark curls rise up just enough to catch his dark gaze as you bit your lip with a nod of yes. Jon practically letting his eyes roll into the back of his head, he yanked your hips more up to him, leaning his head down to properly taste you. His tongue sinking deep inside as he could reach, the cry leaving your mouth nowhere to be stopped.

Hands clutching at the furs your head flew back just as much, his tongue brushing against something sparkingly sensitive, and refusing to come back up for any air as he growled into your soaking cunt at the taste. Drinking from you as if the only thing you were made for, was to spread wide for him, his mouth, tongue, cock. All of you made for Jon alone.

His hold on your thighs tightened as you arched your back up into his touch, one hand flying back down to pull at his curls and it only made him more aggressive in his greed. Which in turn gave you the same reaction and round you both went. Driving the other wild, but Jon was the one twisting that feeling inside you with licks now ensuring he let nothing go anywhere but his tongue.

Yanking your thigh up in his hold higher, Jon made a deep sound vibrating against you. The shiver running up your spine and leaving through your lips in a soft cry. Already you could feel sweat starting to drench your hair against the heat around you and building white hot from within. Drawing you closer and closer to that edge and just as your hand grasped tight, and your back arched with a plead of his name a mantra did the feeling get ripped from you.

Eyes flying shut tightly as you tried to contain your protest, as did the air in your lungs hold. Jons touch did not leave, pressing further more his lips along your thigh as he grew bolder with indenting his teeth to leave his mark for only him to see.

Returning to feast only once he could feel you relaxing in his touch, and no longer bothering to build up that time. Tongue flat against your core running up to work purposely over your clit, letting his facial hair rub raw against your sensitive skin and burn you outside as well as in. The twisting inside you screamed hot and fast, less begging able on your lips and just as Jon let his teeth barley scrape along the bundle of nerves, you almost flinched from him.

Jon knew you however, grabbing you by your hip with his other hand and holding you tightly against his mouth. A pattern switching in his licks just as you were able to catch your breathe and then all over once more until he felt you shake around his touch once more. And once more thus, it was taken from you.

Trying to call his name weakly, Jon shushed you quietly. Pressing a kiss to your clit and then your mound as he ran that hand along your hip to waist and back comfortingly. Murmuring low as his dark eyes peered up at you, your hands barley moving other then tight fists in the fur below and his curls as your eyes sealed shut trying to contain your breathing. Trying not to just beg.

Beacuse Jon didn't want you to beg, he wanted you to trust him to know when to take care of you.

You dared not look, but you felt his eyes watching you, his touch trying to bring you down as you felt his breathe warm against your wetness as he rasped, “Do you want to cum?” Your brows furrowed, not quite grasping the question as your heart raced in your chest. A kiss pressed once more to your thigh just above a more sensitive mark already bruising, “I asked you a question, do you want me to make you cum?”

Your mind was foggy in the feeling and the ones too torn away, you couldn't tell if it was trick. If there was a proper answer, or if he was testing you. “Whatever you want,” You felt Jon tilting his head slightly before he pressed his lips to your thigh once more. Pulling it up off his hold before he hauled himself over top of you. Bracing a hand beside your head, he nudged your nose with his to look up at him.

Eyes dark and you swallowed harshly despite how little you had a chance to see your own wetness still on his lips before he kissed you. Tongue only barley brushing against yours as he kept you deep in his touch. Barley pulling back as his kissed down your jaw to just below your ear. “Well I want what you want, so you need to tell me what that is.” His lips barley stopped moving along your skin, his other hand sliding down to grasp at your breast, still sensitive it had you gasp even louder ending on a cry.

You tried turning your head away from him, a flush finding its way up your chest passed his touch, not wanting him to make you say anything about it. You were never good at it on your own, speaking so blatantly free like that. Jon only murmured your name before another kiss that time to the side of your head despite his other hands stinging, addicting touch.

Only a nod, he pushed more up to hover over you, trying to take away your ability to look away from him, “Is that a yes?” Your brows furrowed, an embarrassed feeling flooding your veins but he took none of it in jest, wanting you to meet his eyes. “We can keep going, but I don't want to be inside you until you've cum for me.”

A small voice, you reached up. One hand running through the dark curls loose around him before scratching along his scalp. Eyes fluttering shut as was the exhale he gave a bit shaking. The hand beside you head curled into a fist as Jon tried not to just rut into you. “Please, Jon. I'll be good, I'll cum for you I promise.”

Eyes staring harsh down at you, his expression seemed to be unmoving as it was intense in how focused it was. “You promise?” As if confused almost if you didn't want him thinking you'd disobey. It shouldn't have made his blood boil in such a obsessing way, but it did. You wanting to behave for him.

You weren't trying to be seductive, but it worked out that way regardless just by way of how little Jon knew he could resist anything you wanted like this. “I do. I'll do anything, I just want you inside me, filling me, anything you want for it, I'll do it.”

He almost flipped you over onto your hands and knees on the spot.

Instead, Jon stared down at you hard, the muscles in his limbs screamed at him to take you like an animal, over and over at how easily you'd let him do anything. You couldn't realize however, just how filthy that anything was which Jon could come up with. He spent far too much time thinking about ways to take you, he'd do them all if you'd let him.

Not another word trusted in himself to leave his mouth, Jon surged down. Capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, biting down against your bottom lip he swore he almost drew blood before making the same greedy path right back down to your soaked core.

There was no grace or teasing this time. The moment Jon got between your legs, he hoisted your thighs up over his shoulders and dove in. Licking up everything you gave him while he was away before sucking at your clit enough you cried out, louder then you realized. A wolf devouring the prey laid about at his utter mercy, and Jon had little patience for that very concept. Not here, not when he would sooner kill someone then let anything take him away from having you here in his bed.

Reaching something inside of you, he kept you grounded by your hips,refusing you even let you move from exactly where he needed you to be. Jon left not a shred of tease as he soaked you with his mouth as much as you soaked him in return. Unable to stop the thought in his head, at just how unbelievably smooth sliding his cock inside of you was going to be tonight, he groaned into your cunt while his nails dug into your skin.

Your insides twisted and turned and washed over you like wave along the shores in an instant as Jon pulled you right into an orgasm. Attached to his mouth, you cried his name out once more like a mantra and yet Jon did not let you go. If you even hinted at moving away from the shock of how much more pleasure his mouth was hurdling you towards, he tugged you right back closer.

“Jon, please, I can't-”

Barley detaching himself from you, and even more humiliating in your mind, was how he couldn't even bring himself to look anywhere but your soaked core as he rasped out, “You can, and you will.” Not wasting his time and tasting you all over again, you felt that sharp pain growing as it sat atop the pleasure and only he could make you want more.

You felt a sting in your eyes as he pulled another and another from you, maybe three, it could have been four. Your mind was hardly in the present other then just him. Only as what might have been a fifth clawed it's way to flooding his mouth with your taste, did tears also fall from the corners of your eye, was your lungs in agony.

Soaking you more, sloppy kisses pressed to your clit and up the path between your breasts before he hovered over you. A hand pulling your lips up to his instantly, his tongue invading your mouth as it had your cunt and making you taste yourself exactly as he loved. His free hand yanking your thigh to rest up on his hip as he refused to let your lips go.

Barley feeling anything beyond how shocked you felt between your legs from the amount you came, you could not sense anything until you felt the thick tip of his cock press against your cunt. A hand grasped at his shoulder while the other held tight in his curls, Jon growled as he pushed inside you.

Just as he thought, you were soaked. So soaked he slid inside you as deep as you could accept him without any resistance. Tight and warm around his cock but you were so wet it hardly mattered how much his size could overwhelm you. Keeping you close, Jon only let his lips leave yours enough to look down at you as he slowly slid out of you.

Not quite leaving your warmth before he just as smooth and slow filled you right back, the gasp on your lips captured by a quick kiss before he kept his eyes on your face. Lips parted in an awe as your eyes were closed trying to keep calm, trying to not look so needy but that's what he wanted.

You didn't know how long he kept you like that, ever so slowly sliding his cock in and out of you and each time he pushed forward you felt yourself soaking him even more. The sound of it almost made you turn away from him, humiliated, but his grip on your hair turned you back to meet his eyes. His jaw was clenched tightly as he watched you, but each thrust almost made you close your eyes at how much it tore at your insides.

Burning hot you grasped tightly at him while your other let matched how he was holding up your thigh on the other side of his hip. Letting him almost push deeper at the angle, a grumbling of swears falling from his mouth as he dropped his head more into your chest. Slowly trying to thrust harder but not wanting to sacrifice the pace. But you knew he felt the second you clenched around him with a whine, did he kiss you once more. Speaking between each breathe he didn't let you take, “Come on, darling, come on,”

Tears falling you came hard around him as it paralyzed your nerves elsewhere, nothing more then what Jon could slide his cock inside of, you held onto him only willing to take. Give him what he wanted to take and you'd do that the rest of your life if he'd keep you right here. A biting kiss pushed into a deeper one as Jon groaned your name, shaking above as he hitched your leg higher to barley thrust shallow as deep as he could.

The warmth filling inside of you had you gasp, so much more warm then anyone else and you knew his seed spilled thick. Your other hand grasping his cheek as he thrusted to fuck more and more of him inside of you, not willing to let any of it go to waste anywhere but there. Shifting up onto his knees, he kept the same hold of your hip but now he leaned more over you.

His hand leaving your hair, making sure your eyes stayed on his dark, penetrating ones as he reached up to grasp the headboard behind you. Lips parting you kept your legs up by his waist as he nodded, knowing he was trying to tell you without the ability to speak, he needed leverage.

Jon, was not a man who did not fulfill such a promise. Struggling himself to keep his own eyes open, he pounded far harder into you. Trying to keep slower, trying to make sure he didn't overwhelm you in every way but you felt so good around him. “Fuck..” Like each thrust of his cock inside of you was rougher then the last, the resounding smacking of his skin against yours could deafen a man if it didn't sound so beautiful mixed with your cries of his name. Your hands grasping what you could of his waist, but Jon held the power. Jon was the one choosing the pace, how rough he was and you melted to his needs as if that was enough for your pleasure.

Considering how fast he got another orgasm out of you so soon, you wanted him rough as much as his clawing animal deep inside of him tried to beg for despite how locked away be kept it. When he opened his mouth, he rambled without thought, an entrancing husk you moaned out for. “Fuck, I want to keep you here. Right here, fill you again and again, make sure we don't leave until I've filled you with a child-” Jons head dropped as he lost some of the roughness and picked the pace up, not letting that loud echoing slap go away in any manner. “I should've kept you down in that cell with me until I put a baby in you, that night in Castle Black. Should've kept you from all of them until I filled you enough that it took.”

Leaning up, your hands pressed against his chest trying to get him to lean down to meet your lips, but Jon could only watch how rough he jostled you with each pound and growled.

Tightly grasping the back of your neck did he lean down to meet your lips, biting and leaving your bottom lip bleeding that time no question. But it didn't deter him, and he refused to let your lips get away as his other hand cupped your cheek. His cock was making you feel dizzy, how thick he kept filling you with no chance of escape.

Lightheaded as Jon fucked you, before he shoved you down by your sternum onto the furs once more, a few shallow thrusts as he watched you carefully. “Stay just like that,” You winced as he pulled out of you, tears falling once more as you bit your tongue not to beg so pathetically for him to come back.

Only moving off the bed long enough to grab something from his pockets, he climbed back up before shoving your legs wide. Snatching both of your hands and raising them up high near a post on the headboard. The sound of something tearing you couldn't see hit you as you watched Jons eyes go dark and possessive at his work. Using your own underwear he tied your wrists to the bed above your head as he leaned down to your lips. “You can escape those if you need to, darling. But I really want you to stay just like this, you want to be good for me, but you don't let me take care of you. So let me make you cum, and I'll fill you as many times as you want.”

Your head was not clear, but you didn't want it to be, all you saw and felt was Jon and so you nodded with your stuttering breathe trying to regain control. But Jon slipped back inside of you with no resistance once more. Capturing your lips, he fucked you slow once more.

Twisting and burning your crying core as Jons cock was slow, smooth and you felt every inch of his length run right along something sensitive inside you that had his name now turn to prayer on your lips.

Hands flexing trying to reach up to his hair only to be met with the restraint, melting more into his touch at how much you trusted it. He could take every bit of control away from you, and you'd still trust Jon blindly. You wanted him to do everything he dreamed of to you, and you'd never resist him.

It was hard to tell if you had already cum once by the time the next one hit you so suddenly, Jon left you utterly lost in his touch that you felt nothing in the world but him. His cock slow and thick inside of you, sliding in and out all the entire length and you could clench and shake around him each time you thought he'd leave your warmth again. But he kissed you gently, reaching a hand up to hold at your clasped hands, fingers intertwining best he could as he kept your thigh once more up by his hip.

Voice hoarse but dripping with a deep affection you whispered against his lips so simple, “I love you.”

Fucking deep inside you, he kept himself there for a moment. Dropping his face into your neck when he nodded, picking his cocks pace right back up as he fucked you. Rasping low in your ear, “I've always loved you, since I laid eyes on you I've loved you. You- fuck, you're everything to me.”

Moving you prompted him to look up at you, but it was your turn to lean forward to kiss him. Without much warning once more, Jon felt you clench tight around him, his cock pounding harder and faster to make up for it. Whispering into his lips, you kept your legs high on his hips wanting to keep him as deep as he was. “Cum inside me Jon, please.”

Nodding, it took little less then a few more slow thrusts of you shaking around his cock to spill inside of you once more. He'd keep you on his cock for a while, the other not ready to let the other go, not willing to stop feeling the others bare skin sweating against the other, as he fucked you. But he still struggled to stop.

Jon struggled to leave your cunt, his cock angry if he'd think about it. But your eyes were asking to pass out, having used your body so thoroughly he knew you were losing steam, yet the wolf inside of him wasn't satisfied. But your whisper, ruined him. “Take me as long as you need, whatever you need, I want you to have it no matter what, even if I'm asleep. Take what you want from me, Jon.”

His mind wasn't sound enough to ask questions, but his heart was dark enough that he kept his cock sliding smoothly in and out of you. Only when your eyes slipped closed proper did Jon slow his pace, untying you before turning you onto your side, hitching your leg up properly to keep himself deep, his mind was a cloud of you and only you. Jon wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he did so, with his cock thick and deep inside of you as you both slept in the others arms.

He knew you trusted him with everything, leaving behind that fear that he'd do anything Ramsay did, and you wouldn't scare him with that anxiety ever again. He took what he needed from your cunt beacuse you wanted him to have it, anytime or anyway he wanted. But you knew he'd refuse such a selfish pleasure otherwise.

But it was as you two slept so pleasurably connected together, did your mind fall somewhere else without notice.

You had never been aware of it like this before. Standing in a memory you were always in something of a haze, trapped in the mind of another. The first time, watching Hazzea in the fields you had not understood you were not there, it felt as real as the ship you were on. But this, you knew where you stood and that you had been in bed with Jon.

But now, awake and dressed you stood in the middle of a corridor in Winterfell, the air much warmer then it was now. You looked around at the windows of the main hall only to see not even snow sat on the ground. Steps forward was when your ears picked up too, the sounds of music. Chatter, life, carefree laughter and yelling on top of the music that made it sound much more populated then it did in your waking life.

It was far from winter whenever you stood. Finding your feet, maids and servants passed you by without a notice. No one looked, no guards acknowledged your presence. It was like you walked these halls a ghost, unseen and unheard. But you had not the wherewithal to figure out why you were returning to dreams for such unknowns.

It was not hard to figure out just when you were, and it turned out, the when hurt more then the why most of all. Life was in the main hall and you recognized the sights. Peering in through the door as if a child spying past her bedtime, you first saw the main table high at the back of the room. Cersei Lannister sat there as miserable as you recalled her being in the North, only now you had the vision to see her watching a naive Sansa from across the way.

Next to her, your heart twisted. No longer the brittle white hair, the clawing down of her cheeks and throat slit open with hate in her dreadful eyes. This was not a creature of vengeance, just a woman, a mother who you stood watching as if you forgot she could appear this human. Her hair long and a striking Tully red, wearing a shade of blue that always looked so beautiful on her. This was the Catelyn Stark which had died a mother to you. And the feast around spoke that in over a weeks time, she would be by law.

Some you spotted, some hurt less, some more. Theon stood younger and full of life. A cocksure attitude in his eyes as he smirked at whatever Southern girl had struck his fancy, back in the years when he found such prospects in said venture. Jory and Ser Rodrick looked alive as ever, in both their faces and in body. You had not seen Ser Rodrick's end by the very man across the room from him, but you had seen Jory's.

Jaime Lannister with a dagger shoved into his eye as you shoved one into the necks of one of his own men, a cruel end to a good man who had much love in his heart for the family he served. But the man who he fought to defend? You felt that dagger plunging into your heart.

Ned Stark stood tall as ever, and with the same sternness he always held no matter what. It was that which moved your feet, stepping into the hall. Carefully you walked to avoid touching or bumping into a soul, as if you even could, but you saw something troubling on his face that had lived there the entire last months you spent with him.

The closest thing you had to a true father, and he loved you like one. If you could have dragged him to safety then and there, you would have. Don't die for these people, you thought. The south will not remember you, they will all call you a traitor years after you're gone. But this was not in your control, it was a dream, not a chance to restore the wrongs done to this family.

A figure with darker hair, longer that sat flat against him slunk up to the side of him and you knew you had not seen him since that visit. “You at a feast, it's like a bear in a trap.” Benjen Stark was too much like many Stark fates, lost and unknown. Much like Bran, he was out in the far North and no one would find him.

He and Ned discussed something you hadn't quite caught, catching the laters words only at the tail end, “Said the Others slaughtered his friends.” It was warm in the hall, but you felt that chill once more. As early as that night was this darkness looming before you all, and still, none knew it and would not for years to come.

Benjen adding to his brothers words, “The two he was with are still missing.”

Both Starks were quiet for a moment, a look shared between them that was as knowing as it wished to be unknown. The Northerners always believed such things more then you all in the South, and the Starks understood better then any and all of those who did. But the answer of the question unspoken was not confident, nor did you think he meant it to be. “A wildling ambush.”

Just as the younger Stark spoke, your eyes found a figure passing in the crowd. Tall and broad with dark hair and a long face. You had no reason to notice them, but you did. Making their way from his place in the crowd slowly towards the door you now stood near. “Maybe. Direwolves south of the wall, talk of the Others, and my brother might be the next Hand of the King. Winter is coming.”

Just as the figure without a care in the world walked passed both men, you found a force compelling you to follow. But it wasn't the figure your eyes were focused on, and it wasn't the stranger which clawed at your heart until it beat harsh from your chest.

He looked so much lighter, that weight on his shoulders hadn't burdened him just yet and the bold blue in his eyes shined the way you remembered so vividly. Greeting his uncle, Robb Stark was not at that time the man you loved, but looking at him in such a memory you felt the scar under your dress burn in agony to go back to it.

Not a clue what he would become, what he would lose to get there, and..you dared not. You couldn't, not here, not when he was right in front of you. Speaking with a smile to his uncle, Robb was animated and laughed, smiled and joked and it was only alone with you did he do that by the end. He was still happy here, he had more family and hope then you and an unborn son named for the father standing next to him.

Eyes stinging, you needed to leave. You still felt a force calling to you, the stranger needing to be followed for why you were here but why leave? Robb was rarely happy in the end and you wanted to keep him here, keep him safe. The last you saw of Robb made you ill, even now you felt a sharpness in your mind to strike it from your eyes.

A weight in your chest formed as your hands unconsciously moved to your stomach. Weeks before a marriage he was forced into, he had no idea what lay ahead for you both. He should have stayed here, in this memory where he was happy. And alive. The tears watered and just as they fell you had to move away.

Lingering made the burning under your clothes worse and feeling nothing but the scar under the fabric made it worse. This memory was not about him, no matter how desperate you begged yourself to stay for just that. But you turned away before the tears could grow worse, as if Robb would see them. Follow the figure, not the loss that haunted.

The figure knew where he was going. Quick to catch up knowing Winterfell well, but they knew it well enough you had to run across the courtyard to catch him. The crypts, that was where he moved towards.

Looking around, none but your unseen shadow watched him, and you felt as if the feast was the perfect time. Escape and sneak just when all eyes were on the Kings company. He knew these people, and he was smart.

Stepping down the main stairs, you did not have to walk much to find where the stranger had gone. It was not far or deep or a mystery what he was looking for. It was one of the tombs long passed which he went towards. He knew what he was looking for, and he knew where to find it.

Approaching him slowly, you could not startle him but it felt eeiry in the crypts with such a stranger, like he might turn around and become the danger. But whatever he was searching for, was not there.

A hidden spot within the statue was pulled out and exposed nothing inside of it. The stranger, reacted little but wider eyes and an even wider frown. Standing abruptly, he looked from statue to statue but still nothing was as right to him as here, but it wasn't right. Whatever was hidden, whatever he snuck away from the feast to take, had been taken before him.

Looking right at you, he did not see you. Pulling the hood of his cloak up, he retreated the crypts as swiftly as he made his way to the steps. Your eyes could not see from here, where any you knew stood, they were in another stretch of hall, but you looked anyways. The only one who was in here now, was her, if this was any other sort of dream, you'd take the time, but you had to leave.

The air was so cold when you stepped from the crypts. The snow around your feet was deep and untouched, save for the path you stood at the beginning of. A figure in black knelt in a snowbank only feet from you. No one but a horse was around, and the dark hid the depths of the lands from what the moonlight could not touch.

The same dark hair, still long on him but now sat a fur on his shoulder painted in black. Coming behind him, all alone in the far North, Benjen Stark knelt down in the snow. A black bundle being placed in a hole with a heavy sigh. The symbol on the rock he covered it with, you did not know, but the rock looked old. The bundle, was something wrapped in a Nights Watch cloak.

Piling snow on top of it, Benjen stood on his own. No companions this far, and nothing to indicate why he had come all that way to bury something and hide it as such. Standing beside him, the wind blew against you both as he looked to the far North even further. Wherever Benjen was, you wondered, was the fate you were about to watch look the same was whatever Bran had found in this place?

The wind was cold as you both stood there, but as it blew, it grew stronger. And with the stronger winds, did it grow cold. It grew too cold, plummeting down that could freeze in seconds and the fear built too strong. You knew as Benjen did and fear was the only response.

Mists of snow were clouding the sight already smothered by darkness. Sword and blades all on his person, but it wasn't that which the man reached for, it was a glass like dagger that you recognized even in the windy darkness. Benjen knew what happening and he was prepared. Turning to his horse you moved to follow. Benjen being the compelling force drawing your attention, but it was not with him that you found your sights on.

Nor was it the approaching shadows that came with the winds in the far North. No, something else stood in the distance. Someone stood in the distance, and it wasn't the Others, nor Benjen Stark they watched. It was you. Far enough you could see little beyond the darkness, but you felt a shiver creeping up your spine not from the winds approaching.

Your dreams begged you to follow Benjen, but the man watching you turned and ran into the darkness opposite that. No one knew what happened to him, and the weight in your chest felt guilt and shame choking you for not finding out. But you needed to know this more. So away from the fate of a Stark none knew, you ran into the snowy darkness as the cold winds did not come with you.

Barley visible as they ran, a flowing cloak your only indication as the wind did not die around you, but yet grew warm. Warmer and warmer until the figure jumped from a cliff and as you followed it was not the north you found, but a hell surrounded in flames. The man was nowhere in your sights, but there wasn't anything in your sights but fire and lava, surrounding you as you felt your blood burn within but it did not consume you as it should.

At the mouth of a volcano, men all stood in a language you did not recognize did they chant. The fire burned brighter and the heat grew more unbearable as they shouted and shouted until a boom shook from deep within the earth below you. They did not run, standing brave and unchanging did the rumbles grow to crackings beneath your feet and spouts of lava shot up all around. Bubbling like a cauldron did the red heat grow.

It was as it came for you, this burning end did an arm grab you. Pulling you back, you knew there was nowhere to go so deep in the volcano. You could not run, but you were pulled back regardless. A gloved dressed in a fine silver steel tugged you back and with your stumble did you find fresh air and the brightness of day light in the surroundings. Rubble sat around you, smouldering and lifeless there was nothing of the sight you saw but one.

The man pulled his hood down but you still did not know him. He was not the stranger in the crypts of Winterfell, this was a man who looked with unsettling and bright shining blue eyes right at you, speaking your name.

Backing away many steps, you found your footing loose. Gravel falling from under your feet, turning to steady yourself found much of the ground in utter ruin. Skies tinged in red and buildings left in tatters of what appeared to be a broken stretch of nowhere. Not even the remains of corpses scattered about more then bones, but the smouldering made the air heavy and the vision of any darker then normal.

The sea surrounding you from the scattered, broken lands now crust and dirt looked like they were as fatal as the waters of Dragonstone once you had set it ablaze. Not green in this case, but an orange tint that looked like acid. Miles and miles the only thing was ruin that none could traverse, but yet you stood here in the blighted land.

Finding stable footing, you turned to the man watching with a glint, his eyes almost smiled something sickening at you even without the mouth forming up to match. Lips that were shaded in the vaguest of blue, a stain that was marked into them without care. Longer dark hair and a beard that was styled rather intentionally. Standing quite tall with armour scaled in black. Patterns you could not make out, glyphs and arcane symbols etched into it with the metal work just as ornate looking as the metal on his gloves.

His voice a vile sound that reminded you only of the whispers from Ramsay Bolton. Sharp in a painful way that set your hair on edge at it's very tone. He spoke with a purpose and candor only the danger was outright on this one instead of hidden behind a smarmy smile.

“It has been a long time since I've been in such a place. A truly long time, you have graced me with a rare opportunity.” A step was made towards you, but you made one backward. Your insides screaming to keep him away as you demanded to know who he was. A chuckle was what followed. Another step made closer and you circled around each one, keeping many feet between you. “I am the storm, little girl. The first storm, and the last.”

Shaking your head in the slightest, your voice was little more then a muttering. “That isn't an answer.”

You hated his laugh as much as you hated Ramsay's. Arms spread wide he looked to the ruins beyond and back to you with his blue eyes once more shining in a manner you distrusted. “Do you like games, we can play if you wish. I will tell you who I am, if you share how such a small girl like yourself survives a butchering at the hands of House Frey.”

Your scar burned, but you did not dare blink. You didn't speak either, he wished to talk then let him.

Bringing his arms up to rest across the ornate armour, he propped his chin up by his fist as he narrowed his eyes at you. “Or you could tell me exactly what you did to raise your precious bastard to life. I would accept either answer as the correct one, should you be a smart girl and not lie that is.”

The earth rumbled, winds blowing in the distance as if trying to reach you but couldn't flow passed miles beyond the man. One more you circled far away from him, finding any way to turn and run as if this was merely a chase to escape like waking life. “You shouldn't believe rumours. I was never dead, and neither was he.”

A lie, and he knew it. The grin on his lips would have been described as handsome, had it not once more reminded you of another just like him. Only this man, scared you more then Ramsay. A feat you did not think a mortal man could be capable of.

“We both know that isn't true. I have been from the furthest stretches of land and seen it all and more. From one end to the other, there is nothing I have not witnessed except for you and your King. The old ways can do much, but returning to life in such form like you? Not something I have seen. Tell me how, and I will tell you who I am.” He moved with a swift confidence, but you were quicker. Jumping from a crumbling rock to another before he could think to reach you once more.

Your voice was as even tempered as your stone still face, unmoving and unblinking trying to seek an escape from a dream with no ability to know how. “You must keep searching then, my lord. You will find no answers in me.”

The grin grew darker, “Lord.” A huff of a laugh left him with a grin knowing something you couldn't care less to be in on. “On the contrary, I will find much in you. I have not been here in so long, I've tried and searched and had no answers to take back what that old fuck took away from me. But here you are, all on your own in the world and I finally have a way back.” He jumped to a shaking rock just as you jumped to another in the ruined terrains. He liked the slow chase, a predator who played with his food.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Voice shouting louder, it echoed as buildings crumbled from the impact. “Our dear friend has touched you, I know you know what I am speaking of, you can't not. Do not play stupid with me, little girl. It doesn't suit those like us.” You shook your head once, you didn't have any answers but even if you did, you wouldn't give them to whatever this man was. “We don't need to dance around each other. You can tell me the truths you have seen, I know what it feels to be so knowing when others around couldn't possibly understand. It's freeing, like being able to fly when all others call you a fool for it.”

The earth rumbled under your own stance but he seemed not to notice. Whatever this was, it was his control now and you could only jump to find ground that belonged to you. Stepping backwards more, you could turn somewhat and see flat earth that might not break open to the earth. You only needed a few more feet to jump away to find land and run. “I don't have time for this, I don't have time for any of this. Let me walk away-”

Laugh was condescending if any man could be the most. “Walk? Where do you think you are? In the ruins, hoping to survive what only I have done? No little girl, we both know not even you could survive this. You're likely asleep aren't you? Tucked away in your bastards arms like a good whore would, dreaming of another man beacuse a Snow is nothing compared to a Crow.”

You didn't play word games, but you didn't spill secrets like water. So you stayed silent, letting it fester in anger in this stranger. You felt eyes watching you from deep within these ruins, but you could not see past the smouldering to spot them, even though the feeling crept closer as the man did.

Narrowing his eyes at you, he smirked once more. “We're here for a reason, I have searched for someone like you for years. Imagine my joy upon finding a thing like you to be it rather then the old one who stole it all from me. We are here to work together, you need only come to me. I'll even tell you my name, little girl.”

Land was close, but you couldn't get there fast enough. “I don't need anything from you.”

You felt as if you were beginning to hate every single pair of blue eyes that didn't belong to Robb, they all looked at you like something to torment, lesser then. Only his were the ones who deserved to look at you anymore, and you'd do anything to make this mans stop.

“The old man cannot help you as I can. He's touched you, but rest assured mine is far better. Let me in, and I can teach you whatever you want. How to control it, how to fly. Wouldn't you like that? Leaping from a tall tower and feeling the wind like a bird does? No man ever truly knows he can do it, unless he dares to leap. But I can ensure you will soar right along side me. Just come to me.”

Backing away and away, you refused to let him near. You knew such offers and smiles, that charm which was nothing but a lie waiting to strike. The other blue, the pale ones that still caked your skin in a dirt you couldn't clean tried to sound just as this one did. They were all the same and they were too blind to know you could see through it.

You suspected he hated that you barley reacted to him. Words can only hurt so much, you thought and you had suffered more then words for a year and came out on the other side. It will take more then this to manipulate you by now. “You speak as if you think yourself of a god. I can assure you, my lord, no god would dare waste his time on someone like me. You're just a man.”

Oh that did anger him. His voice growling as if tearing the earth around you as it cracked, booms following each raise of his voice. “I am more then a man. I am the godliest man to ever raise sail, girl. You serve a mere seven gods, but I served ten thousand. From Ib to Asshai, when men see my sails, they pray.”

Roars surrounded you as he came close, and quickly you found yourself running out of time. You had no where to go in his control and the moment you felt him grab you, the only blade sat at your side came up in an instant to slash at him. Cutting through the fabric of his hand below the metal he yelled out, only the leap you turned to make found yourself slamming to the ground with once more fire screaming around you.

This time you could see the men in the volcano standing without faces, blank spaces where they should be and no mouths to speak. Only voices from above that sung in your ear one after another as the flames flew around and shot out to the lands with screams above.

“Brave men kill them, terrible evil beasts.”

“You crows with your swords and your cloaks and your bloody fires. That won't help you none when the white cold comes.”

“I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R'hllor shows me only Snow.”

Eyes closing roughly, as you tried to force yourself up to your feet. Telling yourself it was a dream, the man had said himself, it was a dream and you could run in a dream and escape. Just as the fire burned around you did you turn to see him once more standing across from you. “Make this easy girl, if you run, I will take from you the likes you've never been had.”

Inhaling deeply, you stepped back and back further. Nowhere to go he would have you believe, but as your foot felt the edge to the lava below, you found a confidence. It wasn't his dream, he had said as much. It was yours. And your dreams followed that of your life. You chose ice not fire. The moment your feet stepped over the empty air it was not Jons bed you woke in, but landing backwards in the daylight of snow.

Where you had seen Benjen Stark, but no sign of him was left. Your dreams had always been vivid in such nightmares but you never had any consciousness within them like this, and that terrified you of when you'd ever come out of it.

Scrambling up to your knees, your head whipped around searching for the spot which Benjen had buried whatever it was he left here. As if the snow was untouched around you, it didn't move when you'd brush it away despite feeling the cold on your hands. You had been shown this for a reason, you couldn't leave without the answer you were forced away from by the blue eyed stranger.

But he was not yet done with you. The feeling of eyes came upon your back, and slowly you turned around still braced mostly on the ground did he approach looking large and terrifying. Voice a shout that echoed over the snowy mountains, “You had a chance to make this easy, girl. But the Crow's Eye will not be bested by a little whore.” The blade had flown from your hand as you fell into the North, and was too far away.

This was a dream, and he was not Ramsay. So why did you feel yourself fill with the same paralyzing terror of the nights he came to you? Why did it feel as real as it ever did?

But the moment he got close, the moment he reached to drag you to him, did a figure leap from nowhere you had seen. Something large and white flew past your vision with a growling snarl, and blood splattered into the ground with a painful cry from the stranger.

Ghost had appeared, and tore into him with little fight back to loosen the grip. Hands weaponless could only try and grab at the direwolf who then growled and snapped towards his neck but was thrown back slightly in the entangle.

You looked at the blade, and the stranger looked at you. You went for it, and so he went for you. Ghost once more tore at him but he was resilient and not even the direwolf could penetrate the ornate armour when teeth found steel. You didn't need to strike his armour though. This was a dream, but the stranger was still a man.

He tried going to you, and as Ghost stood barrier between you both did you grab the blade. Turning up and grabbing onto the direwolf enough to steady yourself. Hands stung painfully as blood splattered across you and the white fur but you sunk the blade deep into his left eye. A violent scream came as he bled and bled, but just as you heard a deep voice in the sky rasping your name did you wake up.

Eyes flying open, you gasped in an overwhelming dizziness sitting up. Not for a moment though did you question the touch behind you. Jons warmth pulled you back into him desperately as he seemed just as out of breathe as you.

Gentle shushes in your ear did Jon calm you with, but you grabbed his arms around you and he found your hand tightly. Neither of you spoke, hell, you both were still as you fell asleep, as bare and connected as before but now your hearts pounded with something terrifying.

As it was not only a dream you had, and it was not Ghost who came to you in it.

#jon snow x reader #robb stark x reader #jon snow #robb stark #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #jon snow x you #robb stark x you #jon snow imagine #robb stark imagine #game of thrones imagines

[dasher85]

Rain

He theoretically understand the concept of love

Neuvillette x Reader | y/n | you

short story

Part 1 | Part 2

sad theme (supposedly)

[ and all that I want is to finally be honest ]

-----------------

"Have you ever thought about how the world perceived itself?"

That same question has been haunting Neuvilette's mind for a while now. He couldn't find the answer to it. At least a perfect response to the person who has spoken of such a question. 

The truth is, the question itself wasn't the only thing that lingers in his mind. If it was just a question he would've already thought of an answer within at least a few days and yet that wasn't the case for his heart was devastatingly shattered by the next thing that came after.

"...or how did I perceive you?" 

Words you've said. What was so meaningful about it? He has heard a billion excuses and pleas in the high court and yet he couldn't easily let go of this. He was hurt but he didn't know how to admit it. You didn't give him a chance to realise anything or at least let him think of an answer. 

'What was it again? The cause of it all?'. He questions himself as he recalled that day when he was left alone and his cheeks were damp not even because of the rain. 

He stood up and picked up the stack of files on his desk. Important cases, criminal's identity and the jurisdiction records. Time does seem to fly in his office space but even after all this time his soul has been stuck in that same place.

'What could've happened if I had the correct answer right then and there?'. His mind has been occupied despite being monotonously unexpressive. He sighed as he arranged all the files accordingly based on alphabetical order into the shelves.

He doesn't know it either. He wasn't human to begin with so it's understandable if he lacks in these situations and yet he blamed himself for it.

Neuvilette returns to his seat and for a brief moment he stares back towards the front door. As if expecting someone to enter the door but of course no one did.

The weather outside hasn't stopped raining for a while now. The gloominess inside his office and the grey sky outside reflects his beating heart.

He then resumes to write down a record for today's court report. Just like any other day, he was busy. He used to feel obligated to do all these things because it was only natural for someone who holds the position as the Chief Justice.

"Neuvilette, how about a cup of coffee…". He snaps his head up and unexpectedly it was just his imagination. A soft melodic voice that has been ingrained in his mind. His expression unchanged but he felt disappointed because it was all a mere fraction of his memory.

'Why did I even say that?'. Neuvilette finally remembered or actually he finally realised his actions. It was all because of him. It wasn't anything harsh but he was just trying to be considerate. He didn't want to trouble anyone, especially you but why did things turn out this way? 

It's true that he can focus with work and that things are a lot more progressive without distraction but why does he feel uncharacteristically empty? He didn't understand it either but somehow this feeling was more overwhelming than the times when a trial was over.

'What was it that I really wanted?'. He thought while exhaling heavily. His mind and his actions are purely contradictory with each other. He needs an answer, he needs a break and he needs to collect his thoughts but his work is important too. 

"Where have you been?"

--------------------

You smiled softly at the nice smell of sweetness coming from the warm hot chocolate drink. The ceramic mug held in between your hands.

It's been raining outside ever since you stopped working for the court. So, the temperature is a little cold and having something warm was a really good decision.

Life has been quite peaceful without headaches or unnecessary expectations. At least that's what you thought about your previous ordeal.

You shook your head sideways profusely to remove the thoughts about those days. It was so childish and immature to expect anything more than working your job diligently. You should've stayed professional and not get caught into a one sided love. It was all too embarrassing when you think about it now.

'It's alright… My feelings won't harm anyone and I know there's always someone who'll be better for me'. 

You nodded reassuringly to yourself as you slowly drank the sweet hot chocolate. Just the right amount to dissipate your lingering feelings. If time is forgiving, in just a few months you'll eventually learn to accept things as they are. As long as you keep yourself away from the court or that specific individual, your heart would surely mend itself.

The slight ambience from the coffee shop was quite calming as you calmly gazed through the clear glass window outside.

"Y/n… you're here". His deep voice was calm and yet a hint of excitement was evident as he spoke over your head.

You snapped your head towards the source who has called your name without notice. In that instant, you felt like your stomach dropped into a bottomless pit and a mix of overwhelming feelings returned into your heart.

Your once calm expression twisted into one that of pain and sadness. Out of all people, your heart is unprepared to meet him again. Not yet. Not when you're trying to forget about him. Not when you're trying to move on. Why did it have to be him?

He stood there with a small smile appearing on his lips but upon meeting your gaze, his smile slowly disappeared. 

Neuvilette knew his presence wasn't how it used to be. It's true that he didn't know human emotions any better but he has seen human's facial expressions numerous times to the point where he can differentiate between happiness and sorrow.

He wanted to go and listened to your pleading stare, listened to your wistful unspoken wishes… He knew you didn't want him there and that his mere presence was hurting you.

Neuvilette knew that much… you didn't need to tell him. Even for someone like him, he would still understand that look on your face. 

However, just like how he wished all the villains should serve justice, he still stubbornly stood there. Staying on his ground like a shattered fragment of glass in between a bleeding wound.

He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He didn't know what to say to you. Should he apologise? Should he tell his feelings? Should he act oblivious?

"Y/n, I…"

You quickly stood up and walked away from there, leaving your warm cup of chocolate drink unfinished. You didn't want to get involved with him anymore for you only want what's best for your already crumbling heart.

If you stayed any longer, you would've broken into a crying mess. It's embarrassing and you've cried enough for your damn unrequited love. It was time to move on now. Your heart has suffered enough and it's your own responsibility to protect it from harm.

Unhesitatingly, you run to your heart's content without looking back. You didn't care if people would question your actions but you knew that'll keep you away from him.

Eventually you reached somewhere far, somewhere you thought he couldn't reach or find you. You just need time for yourself and anywhere is fine so long as you're away from him. You started to walk aimlessly as you caught your breath from your unplanned escape.

'I'll be alright'. You thought. 

Suddenly, your wrist was grabbed as the person spun you around in an instant. You didn't have time to react as you met with his unwavering gaze once more. 

You didn't say a word as realisation struck into your mind but you were quick to struggle away from his hold in an attempt to free yourself.

"Please… Y/n, let me just-"

He didn't let go. His grip wasn't hurting you but it was impossible to break free from the mere fingers that were encircling around your thin wrist. 

"I don't want to!". You started to feel agitated by the situation.

He sighed, he didn't want to make things worse as it already was but a side of him was reluctant to let you go. If he did, he knew you'd walk away without hesitation and his effort would be in vain.

"Y/n!". He raised his voice just enough to make you stop from struggling.

Neuvilette was nervous. He was so scared that he'll fail to receive enlightenment for his own feelings. If he couldn't give a good answer, he should at least get an appropriate explanation from you. 

"Listen…". His usual calm voice returns once he knew your attention was on him. Even if it was for a brief moment he needs you to listen.

"You asked me about how someone perceives things, about the world… about you". He reminds you of those questions you've asked him before you quit working at the court. 

You quietly listened but you've averted your gaze away from him. Those questions were all just a useless bitter taste in your heart. 

"I… I still don't know what you meant by that. I don't know the answer to that but…"

"I don't care anymore. I don't need your answer". You cut through his words so fast before he could end his sentence.

He was still holding your wrist but his calm expression instantly twisted into a pained frown. It reflects his heart deeply.

"...I'm sorry". He spoke almost in a hushed whisper.

"So stop talking to me! and just go…". Your rage slowly quiets down as your gaze returns towards him. Droplets of warm tears softly landed on your face as he looked down at you. 

He didn't speak and neither did you. The both of you stood there in between the unfamiliar tension of emotions. You didn't understand why he was crying neither can he fathom the reasons behind your anger. It was confusing and yet laughable. 

You sighed, the sight of the Chief justice crying himself because of you felt unreal to you but you knew he was just being honest. You knew you made him cry for simply being expressive of your anger.

"Stop crying… you… you don't look like yourself". You quietly mumbled under your breath as you tried to keep your cool attached yet a part of you wanted to console him.

He didn't, that didn't make him stop from crying. That grown man, who's taller than you, quietly cried like a small child being told to do their difficult maths homework on their own.

"Alright, I'll… I'll listen to you". You slowly added with a heavy sigh.

"Really?". He calmly questions. Despite sulking in messy tears, his voice seems to lack any unclear clarity. It was as if the voice barely belonged to a person who's crying.

You nodded and slowly returned your gaze to meet his enchantingly unnatural blue eyes. His sad gaze feels ethereal as the beauty of nature itself.

"Then could you please explain to me… tell me the answer to your question." His beautiful eyes still glistened with tears but he seems a lot calmer than before.

Neuvilette's innocent demands for your answer felt unnecessarily weird. How could he ask you that when humans not only have difficult unexplainable emotions but ego and pride?

Should you say it directly? You were so close to moving on from these feelings. If you explain that to him, would anything change? You didn't want to give a hint of hope inside your heart for that love anymore. It's unbearable if things stay the same. If you were being honest, you wanted more than just him to understand your feelings. 

"It's alright if you don't know the answer. It means that my question was just a bunch of baloney"

Unlike his usual calm facial expression, his eyes widened in response to your remarks, "You're lying. Tell me the truth!"

His words struck your heart like piercing lightning in a thunderous rain. You nervously looked away from his gaze. He was right.

Despite that, you shook your head refusing to tell him. You slowly reached out a hand in an attempt to wipe away the evident tears on his cheeks but you hesitated. After all, who would've been so insane to touch a person's face without clear reasons. You're well aware that you're just a stranger to him.

Neuvilette didn't move away neither did he say a word but instead he brought his face to lean into the palm of your hand. His smooth clear skin in contact with your bare hands felt a little odd to you but somehow your restless heart feels startlingly at peace with the soothing warmth.

His eyes calmly closed, seemingly appreciating your touch. You noticed that he seems unusually happy because of such simple reasons or was it just your own imagination playing tricks on you?

"I feel-"

The moment his mouth started to speak you retreated your hands away from him. The conscience in you feels reluctant to be in a vulnerable state once more. You're in this constant battle of removing yourself from harm but at the same time you still want to place a glimmer of hope. Which you knew you shouldn't considering that he's unable to perceive you more than you wished him to be.

He opened his eyes to meet your gaze. As he stared back deep into your gaze, he could feel the intense rejection even before he tried anything. Where did he go wrong? He has so many unanswered questions but where should he start first? 

"You should know that I feel suffocated with sadness when I can't see you anymore and it's unfair that you're avoiding me now"

Your disappointment slowly returned into your heart. To you, he was a lost cause but wasn't it too harsh to say it too soon? Your heart was torn in between.

"Unfair? What are you spouting about?". You snickered coldly with your eyes unwaveringly gazing up at him. 

He looked away to the side at your distaste directed on him but he courageously kept his hands securely holding on to your wrist. He hasn't given up and he won't let go.

Neuvilette knew that it was better to keep quiet when humans were in rage but he still wondered if the things he wanted to say would change your mind. Even just a little, would it amend things between you and him?

"...because maybe after all this time, I thought things weren't bad between us". He turned his head towards you once more. A sense of calmness returned when he spoke his mind.

"It wasn't. I was the problem but you don't need to worry… just give me more time and maybe someday we can finally be friends"

"So now? What about now?". He spoke without much hesitation and dismissed the things you’ve told him.

His question pushed you like a tsunami. What was he talking about? Was he giving hope? You want to cry so damn much because it was still painful despite your efforts to move on. It's only been a week since your efforts to forget about him but obviously that wasn't even near to erase your lingering feelings.

"I… I don't know. Why don't you tell me?".

Admittingly you still want something out of this. Perhaps him being here holds something significant for you. It must mean something that he hasn't told you. Maybe you should give him a chance. But would you let him fix it? Would you dare to step into the hand he was trying to give you? Or can he even be that someone?

You're scared to hope and yet you still want him to tell you something more. Something that could at least make you feel better.

Neuvilette searched your face in an attempt to find a definitive answer from you.

"It was really difficult to find you". He starts.

It's true, you were extremely careful with your whereabouts despite the chances are already insignificant due to the nature of his busy schedule. You refrained from walking outside and purchased groceries only when you knew there was an ongoing trial. Such as today, it was said that he was supposed to be in an important court session.

"It's because you were busy". You simply added.

"But I get to meet you today". He replied with a soft voice.

You always thought why did you even fall in love with him in the first place? He barely even smiles or does anything besides his responsibility in the court. He was that boring if you were to compare him with your preferred ideals. What nonsense has had your heart trapped into this?

"Maybe I should travel somewhere else so that we wouldn't meet again". You sarcastically replied under your breath.

"If you do that then… I'll come with you". He responded without a second thought. Your words have yet again driven him into the corner of his own emotions. If he doesn't speak now it'll be too late. 

You scoffed as you shook your head in complete disbelief, "Sure, even a child would believe you".

"You could do anything to me, you can run, you can hide but I won't let you escape my love". He suddenly spoke with conviction.

"You're bluffing, who are you to talk about love?". Those words came out of his mouth so suddenly that you became defensive. 

"If you feel like leaving. I'm not going to beg you to stay because it's your rights". He calmly spoke but with a hint of confidence as he ignored your statements.

You took a step back and he took a step forward.

"This regret has filled me with a sadness that has haunted me for a week". He then admitted.

"I'm aware that I've been dismissing you whenever you want to help me but I never intended for you to handle my responsibilities.". He paused to look at you.

"Perhaps you didn't like that good gesture of mine but I'll make sure to listen to you from now on". He opened his mouth to say something but seemingly hesitated.

"So maybe I should hold my heart out for you to take but…". He gently held both of your trembling hands and brought it in between the both of you.

"...will you keep it?"

------[ yes | no ]-------

A/N: and so I shall see how this will go...

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #neuvillette #neuvilette genshin #neuvilette x reader #genshin impact neuvillette

[querkynchaotic]

i gave you all x crimson rivers

SPOILERS crimson rivers chapter 50 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

for those of you who have read it :

here are the lyrics to i gave you all by mumford and sons, interwoven with quotes from chapter 50. because that song fucks me up, and that chapter fucks me up, so you know. might as well make a deal out of it.

don't thank me for the tears ;)

Rip the earth in two with your mind

"Betrayal is betrayal is betrayal!" Regulus shouts

Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires

"Grow up, Regulus." 

"You won't let me!"

I never meant you any harm

"I was a kid, too." 

But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm

"The one who didn't grow up is you, Sirius, not me. You're still that kid trying to protect me at every turn, but I got older, and I learned to take care of myself, and I don't need you anymore." 

But close my eyes for a while

"Shut up," Sirius says reflexively, his mouth dry, heart thundering hard in his chest. You do, he thinks desperately. You do need me. You'll always need me. 

Force from the world a patient smile

"What I regret most isn't that you broke your promise, Sirius," Regulus continues. "It's that I wasted time caring enough to ask for a promise from you at all." 

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

"And I don't anymore," Regulus presses on. "Care, that is."

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

Sirius' mind just—doesn't accept it. Not this. Not from his little brother. His little brother. Always his little brother. 

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

"Oh, you're clever," Sirius breathes out

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

"You're not going to fight me." 

But I gave you all

"No," Sirius says. "I'm not." 

I gave you all

"You're my brother. I love you. 

I gave you all

That's what it is, that's what it's always been, and that's what it will forever be." 

Close my eyes for a while

"Only one of us can make it home" 

Force from the world a patient smile

Sirius softens, helplessly. "I know, and that's you."

But I gave you all

Regulus doesn't move, doesn't break his gaze, doesn't do anything for a long moment—and then, calmly, he says, "Are you willing to bet your life on that?" 

I gave you all

"Yes," Sirius says firmly, then holds his arms out and leaves himself an open target. All Regulus has to do is throw his dagger, and that'll be it. He doesn't. 

I gave you all

"Are you willing to bet someone else's life on that?" Regulus asks quietly, holding his gaze. "Your moon's, perhaps." 

And you rip it from my hands

And you swear it's all gone

Sirius doesn't let him finish. Doesn't even give him the chance. In seconds, he has Regulus flat on his back on the ground, hitting him once, twice, a third time. 

And you rip out all I had

Just to say that you've won

Everything seems to fall apart, and it hurts, because this—it's proof. It's convincing. Sirius, for the first time, doesn't believe in his brother. Because Regulus wants to say Remus' name, and that would hurt Sirius more than dying by Regulus' hand.

And you rip it from my hands

And you swear it's all gone

After everything that Sirius did for him. 

After everything that Sirius suffered for him. 

And you rip out all I had

Just to say that you've won

After everything that Sirius tried so fucking hard to fix. 

You've won

"I gave everything for you!" Sirius shouts, then hits Regulus again. "And this is what you give to me?!" 

Well now you've won

Sirius hits him again, heaving out a harsh breath that escapes him like a sob, hot tears dripping down the length of his nose as he confesses, "I hate you. I fucking hate you. Why would you do this? How could you do this to me, after I—after all of it? All I've ever done is love you! Everything I did, I did for you! It's your fault, and I hate that you were ever fucking born!" 

But I gave you all

"You'll have to kill me." 

I gave you all

"I will! Don't fucking push me, because I will," Sirius snarls, vibrating in place, suspended in this moment of horrible, sickening rage, and hurt, and betrayal, and fear. 

I gave you all

"It's okay," Regulus gasps, one bloodstained hand coming up to shakily cover Sirius' around the dagger. His fingers are slick as they wrap around Sirius' hand, and he swallows, he swallows his own blood just to look right at Sirius and choke out, "I love you, too. Wanted to say it for a while. Sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't. Sorry I'm saying it now, but I do. It's okay, right? It's okay. I love you, too."

sorry for butchering's zar text, i swear if the song had been longer i would have done that with the whole chapter. fucking masterpiece, that chapter is.

#crimson rivers #black brothers #chapter 50 : brother #marauders #wolfstar #i gave you all #mumford and sons #marauders x lyrics #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #zar #bizarrestars #jegulus

[sleepingcup]

"I care for you!"

Game: Reverse 1999 x Reader

Characters: Horropedia x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Fluff, Crushing on you, signs of Depression

Disclaimer: This is purely made for fun, be well aware of ooc and mistypings.

Summary: You just woke up from a harsh nightmare that you can't recover. Finding yourself to his arms for comfort.

The world is cruel in so many ways.

And so is dreams and nightmares.

Both are brutally cruel and it can be hard to breathe, you wonder why how does people deal with this bullshit everyday. It is like a cycle of repeat that has been replayed over and over again.

"..."

Finding yourself wandering in the halls, you check the place one by one not caring about what happens next you went to do your usual job in your own office adjusting paperwork and reports so it can put the others at ease.

Getting yourself a cup of hot water/coffee/tea you need to refresh yourself from the pain it can't fully help you thanks to the brain re-remembering the nightmare. Everything hurts but you think you got used to it.

While you are doing your early morning tasks you soon got a visitor that appear to your office quietly. Facing to the person it was your best friend, Joshua who just got himself some freshly cooked hashbrowns.

"Hey (y/n)! Surprised to see you here! Can't sleep is what you are going to reply?"

"...????"

You were a bit confused as to why he was here all of a sudden, seeing as he closed the door right behind him before going straight to you. He still kept that goofy smile that you so admired.

"Want a hashbrown?"

"... Sure, thanks..."

Horropedia gave you a share of the hashbrown before sitting across from you and watching you take a bite. You stare at him wondering what he was about to say, and yet you paused yourself before you open your mouth.

Soon it was his cue to share his ramblings to you about the horror movies he watched as you listened to him, you do secretly admit that Horropedia is pretty much the best person to talk about anything else to distract your mind. Before you are a bit annoyed at him, but he does grow on you one by one.

How...?

Simple.

Compared to him and his joyful personality, the rest of the people in the ST. Pavlov Foundation are extremely strict.

If you are in two sides of the story, Horropedia and a few others secretly disobey the foundation in a different scenario, the foundation on the other hand had to be strict and check things one at a time. 'Treat them right' is what they provide, and yet you envy the people who secretly disobey the foundation sometimes.

But that is not about the foundation itself no, the situation is right in front of you.

Your own best friend or crush so to say loves to bother you.

You are in a massive distress.

Two choices in mind and yet you knew the answer.

It did not affect the strictness of the foundation, after all. Love, Familiarity, Affection, and Health care are important. Being left alone to deal with the heaviest thoughts could lead to serious incidents.

"Hey, hello~? Earth to (y/n)?"

"!!!"

You snap out of your thoughts to see Horropedia right in front of you, but you noticed that his happy-go-lucky smiling face was turned to real worry.

"...I can tell.... You got a nightmare again aren't you?"

"!!"

You were to stunned to speak, as he sighs gently pinching the bridge of his nose.

"(y/n)... We have been best friends ever since we are both from the orphanage, I am no stranger to know that you had nightmare quite often, and THIS is the face you are showing?"

The tone he say was very serious, you were about to say something more but you felt his warm embrace, "I am worried about you (y/n)! Please remember that! I had to check up on you no matter if they take me away from you, sure it does sound very cheesy but I am making it as simple as possible..."

Your eyes met his before he made a gentle smile, "I care for you, (y/n)! Even if I don't see or show like it but I am telling the truth I just need to let you know that I need you here with me!"

It took moments and yet, your vision gets blurred.

Knowing what it was, you gently wipe your face, tears are falling from your eyes. Soon you found yourself near Joshua, your lips gently touching his chest as you feel his arms hugging you closer to him. Shaking in his arms you found yourself weak as he gently squeeze you tighter.

You can't help but to tell him what nightmare you encounter as he just listens to you not even bothered to interrupt you.

"You know, you getting those nightmares are purely concerning... Oh! I know! Lets go to my room and I will help you go to sleep by watching horror movies with me!"

"... But...won't tha-"

"Relax I can just let them know that you need a rest, its only fair considering you often overwork yourself to the bone!"

Hating to admit that he is right, you had no choice but to lean to his chest with a nuzzle, he soon gets your intention and gently takes care of you and your office before carrying you to his room. He soon puts you to your room to change and grab a blanket and you did what you were told, as a result you two were now in his room. Horropedia wraps you like a burrito and snuggles you the second he opens another horror movies. You watched with him cozied up with him, and yet you found yourself leaning on him more often till you closed your eyes.

All Horropedia can do was keep an eye on you, but he isn't planning on letting you go.

He does admit to himself that he had a crush on you ever since you saved him from being caught by the foundation and plus spending time with him.

Without you knowing he feels happy knowing that he gave you a kiss on the head hoping that your nightmares are gone.

#reverse 1999 #r1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #r1999 x reader #horropedia #joshua #horropedia x reader #reverse 1999 horropedia

[applesjuice]

How are the others taking Kieran's death ? Won't they think there's something fishy ? (Legends AU)

I'm SCREAMING this is the first ask I've gotten in ten whole years and it's about KIERAN 🤣

Putting beneath a read more because this got stupid long...

But real talk, Carmine would be taking it the hardest she'd be a mess for a while. In my mind the plot of LA takes places over about two years to complete the pokedex, so by then she'd have graduated school, and is trying to redefine who she is since so much of her identity was tied into being a big sister. She'd be antagonistic towards Briar for a while, blaming her for bringing them down there in the first place. But I like to think Carmine comes to understand that adults are not perfect after the fallout that comes to Briar and the Paladean Pokemon League as a result of a minor dying on a sponsored exception.

Briar I think would write her book but she'd have fallen out of favor in the academic world due to her irresponsibility. She'd face harsh criticism from the public and the guilt she'd feel would be tremendous because Kieran, despite being a little shit at the time, was a child. I like to believe two years later she's really struggling with her career, getting denied grants and project funding, having her papers get denied by academic journals. She's a mess.

Geeta and the Paladean Pokemon League would face harsh scrutiny over allowing this specific expedtion to occur. For years they refused to allow expeditions down in Area Zero due to a lack of strong enough, accredited (re: champion level) trainers who were not bogged down by workload. Its a media shitstorm. A research team with only three children as the safety trainers? Yes one of them is a certified Champion of their league but they are still a child with only a few months experience, and the other two were strong trainers in their own right but not accredited under Paladean standards. There wasnt enough prep or vetting. Geeta would as a result step down as chairwoman due to the backlash. Atm there is no top champion so if someone beats the elite 4 there's a hold on becoming a champion level trainer while Nemona is being trained for the position.

Now the BB Academy Elite 4, they're shook. Drayton takes it the hardest because he turned down going, so he's like "what if I was there what if there was one more trainer could I have prevented this". The other 3 did see Kieran as a friend, despite his recent behavior. Before that he was Carmine's little brother, and Crispin and him were pretty friendly too, what with being in the same grade. Yeah the kid was a bully but imagine coming to school one day and there's an announcement one of your clasmates died. Thats traumatic!

Now, the protagonist. Oh boy. Regardless of if they're Juliana or Florian, they'd be pretty traumatized. They considered Kieran a friend. At one point they loved his company, he was so kind and sweet and they already blamed themselves a bit for the whole Ogerpon situation. Yeah Kieran took it to the extreme with his reaction, but I find Kieran a really interesting character with how the game wrote him. He's a child, was lied to by the people closest with him, and he doesnt seem the type to easily connect with others. But the one time he finally finds someone he connects with, we continuously and unrelentlessly crush him at something he enjoys, join his family in treating him like he has no agency by hiding the truth of his special interest from him, and go out of our way to disinclude him with his sister.

And like of course Ogerpon got close to us we spent so much time with her, getting her to trust us and know us. I see this take a lot that Kieran just wants to enslave legendaries but thats definitely not it. He's trying to get back at us. We took something special from him, and he never really had the chance to put in his bid for Ogerpon's attention and he knew it was selfish, but he cared so much for her as someone that was always disincluded, bullied, looked down on by others, and he had to at least try because Ogerpon to him, is a projection of himself. He had to TRY even if as he stated, he knew it was wrong.

And then we take his spot as Champion from him that he like, harmed himself and those around him for so he could at least have *something* that put him on the same level as you. Like we as the protagonist are the villain of Kieran's story (sorry for the tangent I swear it's relevant), but he's 14 and had a mental breakdown. And he got killed before we could reconcile or get through to him.

I think the protagonist would do a lot of soul searching because their first thought is "i should have taken the blast." Or "i could have stopped it" and then they had the humbling realization of "what could i even have done? We're the same age. That could have been me, i could have died" because even if the protagonist would never like, try to catch Terapagos immediately with a Masterball, its still a wild and untrained monster with too much power. There's no telling what would have happened if Kieran wasn't there. It'd incredibly eye opening and humbling and I think they'd strive to be a better more understanding person from this. The whole game people are hyping them up, telling them theyre so strong, they're the best, etc. Thats gotta give you a bit of a big head. I think they'd look to the adults they can trust, their mom, their teachers who are genuinely amazing people, and lean on them for support.

And when Kieran gets back and kind of has no idea who they are, and here's that sweet kid they remember with all of his love for pokemon and battling, except he's so much healthier and confident about it (and traumatized in different ways thanks Kamado and Volo). They'd probably be so amazed by him and thankful for this second chance.

Tldr: i should probably just write a fic for this it got stupid long...

#ask #not art #here i traumatize and entire generation of characters over the “death” of one child #meanwhile kieran is wrestling bears and being force fed food by adults and the clans low key have beef over who gets dibs #its sneasler #sneasler has dibs because this child is purple obviously its a poison type #kieran #legends arceus au

[junosmindpalace]

Hi I'm wondering if your requests are open but can I request a scenario with Ryusui who is constantly rejected by the reader ? & thank you ! XD

okay i absolutely adored this request and went in with the intention of trying to write comedy and accidentally make it slightly angsty??!!! (happy ending though i promise.) admittedly i found this surprisingly challenging to write- i've said before that i'm not very confident with my characterization of ryusui and that's probably pretty evident in this oneshot, but nevertheless i hope you still enjoy!

synopsis: he desires everything, including you--and it makes you nervous.

warnings: manga spoilers!! beware, as i said some angst but happy ending :)

word count: 2.2k

note: it's almost 2am and i reeeallly wanted to get this out so its poorly edited as always. might come back later with a fresh mind

You didn’t know what it would take to get Ryusui off your back.

Before the two of you became friends, you were certain that Ryusui Nanami was one of the most insufferable people you’ve ever met, always on about desire this and desire that. His arrogance infuriated you. ‘How is anyone supposed to work with this guy?’ you would think to yourself. Over time however, you realized that beneath his selfish and sometimes harsh exterior, Ryusui is a caring guy with a lot of ambition and determination who genuinely loves people and what the world has to offer. In some ways, you could relate to his way of thinking, but it didn’t make his overbearing desires and booming voice any less irritating.

The two of you eventually became decent friends through the work you put into building the Perseus, and even closer friends through your adventures together with the rest of the crew. But something you found strange about your relationship with Ryusui was that, even though you disliked him quite a bit when the two of you were mere strangers, he’s always liked you. 

This shouldn’t be too weird; as said, Ryusui loves people. No matter who they are or how long he’s known them, Ryusui can always find something to like about someone, which you couldn’t help but respect about him from the beginning. But Ryusui always presented his desires for a person in a way that was seen as admiration and awe of them. While he presented his desire to want you in this way as well, he later also started presenting his desire for you in a romantic way you observed he didn’t desire anyone else. 

At some point, Ryusui Nanami realized that he desired you as a romantic partner. What caught you off guard one day was the fact that he told you. 

This weird proclamation came from him when you confronted his bold and “special” treatment toward you. He often offered you heaps of Drago for the most trivial things you did, claiming they were worthy of the money he bestowed upon you. He encouraged you to use the money to buy an outfit you had eyed from Senku’s department store or some cotton candy, occasionally even making purchases for you. He’d invite you to bask in his luxuries together, setting up a chair for you beside him with members of the Kingdom of Science feeding and cooling you down after a hard day's work. If there was something you had mentioned you wanted, or hell, even liked or loved, Ryusui would take a mental note of it and look for ways to obtain it. Flowers by a hillside you thought were pretty? A bouquet will show up by your tent. Mumbling out loud about how you could use some fresh tools? An assortment of polished ones will be gifted to you by Ryusui himself. You were confused and taken aback by the sudden affection, and blunt as ever, Ryusui responded “In truth, Y/N, I desire you as my partner, and I want you by my side!”

Ryusui desires the Earth, heavens and seas. He seemingly wants every conceivable item, skill and trait, and he isn’t shy about these bold desires; he never has been. So even though this proclamation was no different than the rest, it still surprised you just the same. He wanted you as a partner? 

And so that’s what led to your current dilemma: you didn’t know what it would take to get Ryusui off your back. 

You’ve heard from Minami about how Ryusui was rarely seen without the company of a beautiful girl. He was constantly around them and dubbed a playboy by the media before the petrification. No way he’s loyal. 

“What can I tell you; I love everyone! But in this day and age, I love you, and only you--romantically.”

Sure, you two knew each other a fair amount, but you’ve still only just met. Plus, you have an important mission ahead of the two of you. Won’t a relationship interfere with that?

“Then let me get to know you more, Y/N. I want you to be mine. No journey or grueling mission will change that.” 

And when Ryusui Nanami desires something, he’s determined to obtain it or make it come to fruition. But you were still reluctant, and so you turned him down.

Every attempt at flirting was shut down, every date offer was rejected, and gifts were either politely returned or hesitantly kept because of Ryusui's insistence. All these failures would surely have the average person give it up and get over the rejection. But this was Ryusui Nanami, and he was confident that you just needed time to come around. 

With the help of Francois, Ryusui went full out trying to win you over. He asked Francois to make you your favorite foods, he complimented you frequently, whether it was your appearance, a thought you shared or something you did, and in small ways looked after you.

There were many times when you really were in awe of him. He always did his best to look out for you, in and out battle, sometimes even preventing you from sustaining major injuries or helping you recuperate after you take on too much work.

But then he’d open his mouth and say something like “after all this is done, we should wind down in my quarters” and you’d scoff and move away from him while he'd either laugh or stare at you with a small frown. When you’re struggling with something, he’s always quick to be the first one to come to your aid, and yeah, you notice how he takes every chance he gets to stand obnoxiously close to you.

However, Ryusui never takes his antics too far. As soon as you shoot him a dirty look, he's inches away from you and putting his hands up in mock surrender. He’s not focusing all his attention on trying to win you over; after all, you two are a part of the Perseus crew for good reason. But any chance Ryusui gets to charm you, he’ll take. 

-

“I clean up nice, am I wrong, Y/N?” 

When it came down to deciding what route to take to America, while you understood the realistic approach Ryusui wanted to take, you agreed with Senku’s more logical plan of action. What you didn’t expect was a game of poker to be initiated in order to decide who’s plan will be executed. 

“I’m hurt you’re siding with Senku on this one, but you’ll thank me for saving you from the burden of Senku’s route once I win.” Ryusui seemed to have the utmost confidence that he’d reign victorious with Gen Asagiri, the master of trickery and deceit, on his side, but you had to suppress your smile when his jaw dropped as Kohaku seated herself beside Senku. With Kohaku’s sharp eyes, she’d be able to spot and put a stop to any dirty moves Gen tries to pull. A tense game ensued, and your gaze shifted between eyeing Ryusui and Gen’s wicked grins and Senku and Kohaku’s skeptical expressions. In the end, as you had predicted, Senku had won the game, which meant that his plan would be put to action. As cheers erupted from the crew watching and money was tossed around in the air from the bets made beforehand, Ryusui reluctantly turned his head toward you, and you had to muffle your laughter behind your hand upon seeing his dumbfounded expression as you rolled your eyes and left the riot.

You were surprised to hear that Ryusui’s shock and disappointment wore off quick after revealing that he and Francois had opened a casino for the entire crew to enjoy, which didn’t sound awful to you. The formal attire worn while playing poker inspired you to dress up a little for a fun night with your friends. How long had it been since you’ve had some modern fun? 

You sat by Bar Francois in formal wear that you and a couple members of the crew had bought from Yuzuriha before you left for your trip, laughing at the retelling of fond memories from the pre-petrification world and sipping on your drink every once in a while. It was the most calm and at home you felt in a long while, and you were silently grateful to the eccentric captain for the work he put into making the casino. When the conversation died down a little, Nikki, who was one of the people you had talked to about your situation with the sailor, shifted her gaze toward someone in the middle of the room. “Uh oh. Lover boy looks like he wants to make a move.” 

Your eyes followed Nikki’s gaze and you were suddenly met with Ryusui’s widened brown ones shining under the moonlight. For a moment, there was no movement from either one of you, but then Ryusui swallowed and made a slow beeline for you. Nikki quickly turned away when you nudged her for the inappropriate nickname. “Look, I completely understand why you keep turning him down but…who knows. Maybe a date won’t be so bad.”

And with that, she excused herself and walked off. 

-

Ryusui had asked if the two of you could roam around the ship, away from everyone else, and you agreed, the exhaustion from the eventful night slowly catching up to you. Ryusui’s hands were clasped behind his back as he made conservation, taking into account your exhaustion and making sure you didn’t need to give him any lengthy responses to any of his comments or questions. 

Throughout the slightly one-sided conversation, Ryusui teased and flirted, as he always managed to do with you, and as you picked up on each charm attempt, you thought back to what Nikki had told you earlier that evening. “Maybe a date wouldn’t be so bad…”

“I’m glad to see you enjoying yourself in the casino. You look beautiful, as you always do, but seeing you in formal attire was a pleasant surprise. Perhaps next time you dress up will be for a date in my quarters?” 

You sighed deeply. This offer was unlike so many others Ryusui made. It wasn’t upfront and in your face, it wasn’t loud or grand. Hell, it almost seemed shy or- no- hopeful. You were staring down at Ryusui’s shoes, the confliction you felt evident on your face. Suddenly, you couldn’t hear the heels of Ryusui’s shoes clicking against the wooden floor as he walked alongside you. You stopped and turned around to see the captain with his head down. 

“Ryusui, I…” 

“I’m…sorry if I’ve forced you into a corner, Y/N. I never meant for my persistence to be overwhelming, I guess I didn’t expect to like you this much.” He laughed humourlessly staring at the ground, his hands still behind his back. You couldn’t find the words to consolidate him. You had never seen him so down.

But then he suddenly turned his head to look up at you and slowly started approaching you.

“Just one chance, Y/N,” one step. Two.

“I promise you,” another step.

“I won’t be wasting your time.”

He took one final step so he was standing directly in front of you. For a second, all the two of you did, could do, was stare at each other, your tired eyes examining Ryusui’s glimmering, hopeful ones. And then, without breaking eye contact, Ryusui pulls out a small bouquet of flowers. Ones you had seen on Treasure Island, which seemed to be preserved surprisingly well. You think you remember commenting on their beauty on one of your expeditions.

Up until tonight, Ryusui’s gestures have never been something you thought too deeply about; at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself. But now, Ryusui has confronted you with a billion percent seriousness. Maybe it was something about his flamboyant nature that made you uneasy and reluctant to even consider the possibility of being something more with him. Maybe it’s why you shoved down your thoughts and feelings, let your fears surface and become easy ways to excuse yourself. After all, you had plenty of those with the circumstances you two were in. 

Was he getting discouraged? Would this be his final attempt at winning you over? Knowing Ryusui, probably not. He seemed determined, but looking closer you could see his shoulders sagging, the grip on the flowers loose, as if he was sad. His face didn’t carry his usual boyish grin or dazzling smile. Only furrowed brows and a small frown. Admittedly, all you could really think was ‘is he serious?’ and stare in confusion. 

Ryusui’s eyes slowly trailed down to the flowers, and a dull ache spread over your heart started upon seeing his face slowly contort into one of disappointment. Maybe a date wouldn’t be so bad. 

And so as Ryusui was about to tell you that he wouldn’t give up on you, he heard you sigh and felt your fingers brush over his, watching you take the bouquet from his hands. His head jutted forward, and his mouth morphed into an “o” as his eyes found yours again, widening when you gave him a small smile.

“Oh, what the hell. So, dinner in your quarters, huh?”

#dr stone oneshot #dr stone ryusui #dr stone headcanons #dr stone x reader #dr stone hcs #dr stone fanfiction #dr stone self insert #ryusui nanami oneshots #ryusui nanami headcanon #ryusui x reader #ryusui nanami x reader #nanami ryusui headcanon #nanami ryusui oneshot #ryusui nanami headcanons #dcst ryusui #dr stone drabbles

[gojuo]

https://www.tumblr.com/gojuo/717780379148386305?source=share

What about Aemond? Isn't he male and one of Rhaenyra's enemies why he is receiving a SPA treatment of his character, a treatment that not even the male characters of team black have lmao

Aemond may be on the Green side which means being an antagonist to Rhaenyra, but he is not her narrative foil. Aegon is Rhaenyra's foil and Aemond is Daemon's. And Daeron is the narrative foil to Aemond.

The Targtower siblings come in a package. It's Aegon and Helaena on one side being contrasted to each other: Aegon is a party animal vs. Helaena is a gentle and chaste lady; when B&C happens, Aegon turns his anger outwards towards the world and uses that anger to lash out vs. Helaena breaks into pieces, loses her mind and all of the trauma turns her into a hollow shell of her former joyful and outgoing self; Helaena commits suicide vs. Aegon lives on in spite of it all, etc.

For the other two, you aren't going to understand why Daeron is juxtaposed to Aemond if you don't know their book characters. Anyone who knows anything about F&B knows that Daeron was the single most likeable character in the entire Dance. And Aemond was a psychopath.

If I were to list book!Aemond's personality traits, I would say that he was a loud, brash, arrogant, cruel, impulsive, angry, contemptuous and scornful person. He's also ruthless, psychotic, blood-thirsty and more than a little unhinged. The Greens nearly break through Rhaenyra's forces and win the war but Aemond's recklessness and impatience fucks it all up. He murders every single member of House Strong because he had an issue with only one of them as well as doing it just because he felt like doing it. He takes Alys to bed as a spoil of war and he genocides the people of the Riverlands for funsies. He was a badass and unapologetically himself who was unafraid to speak his mind, no matter how harsh, but Aemond was no brooding, quiet and reserved type who held himself back like in the show. That's Daeron.

I call Daeron Aemond's narrative foil because he was the counterbalance to Aemond's intense personality. It is Daeron who is the quiet, reserved, pensive, and reputable man who is selflessly and completely devoted to the family. He commits/allows for heinous acts of war in Bitterbridge as retribution for what the people did to his nephew (which he regrets immensely), he fights to the bitter end to reunite with his mother and sister in King's Landing, he throws wine in Hugh's face when the man insinuates Aegon is dead, he is the favorite and most loved child of the four, etc.

In F&B, Aemond isn't particularly characterized as caring for his family much. He metaphorically rubs salt in Aegon’s wounds with his comment about how the Conqueror's Crown fits him better than it ever did Aegon, and his refusal to stick to Criston's orders and choose Alys over him and his family is what leads to the Fall of King's Landing and then snowballs into Butcher's Ball, Tumbleton, Bitterbridge, etc. If anything, book!Aemond seems to care about no one but himself — sans Alys when the time comes.

Daeron is courteous, honorable and the valiant and heroic knight of the story. He was The King Who Should Have Been (over Rhaenyra and Aegon). Near the end of the Dance, when Rhaenyra turns full psycho, it is Daeron who is still fighting the honorable fight and becomes the clear cut good guy protagonist of the narrative, trying to put an end to Queen Maegor With Teats who has turned full-on villain at this point in time.

And what happened in the show is that Daeron — the clear cut good guy of the story — has been merged together with the character of Aemond — the clear cut bad guy on the Greens' side.

The truth is that the hack known as Miguel Sapochnik was not going to include Daeron in the show. This is all but confirmed by his Season 2 outlines that were leaked a while back in which there was not a single mention of Daeron + Viserys saying "All of my family here," during the dinner scene in which there was no Daeron + Daemon saying "[The Greens'] three dragons," meaning no Daeron and Tessarion.

The fact that Sapochnik walked away (read: threw a hissy fit and basically got fired for his shitty S02 outlines) and then the second after that happened GRRM went on his blog to assure us fans that Daeron was in the show, they just didn't have the time to mention his existence at all in this entire season with not even 1 fucking line (bullshit) is the cherry on top. GRRM posted that blog entry on October 11th, and episode 9 — which is the very first episode which showed us Alicent's bloodline split and her four children and three grandchildren with a hastily thrown-in VFX at the obvious last minute — aired on October 16th. I suppose October was when Sapochnik got the boot lol.

So what happened was that Daeron's character was combined with Aemond's. What happens when two characters who are each other’s foils are being merged into one? Especially when one of them is a cartoon villain with little to no depth and the other is the classical hero archetype? You get the belief that the Aemond of the show has been whitewashed.

(Off topic, but personally, I don’t like calling what happened to show!Aemond “whitewashing”, because that insinuates there was a deliberate attempt to cover up Aemond’s more than unpleasant book personality by sugarcoating his canon actions — like how the show did with Rhaenyra — but that’s not what the show did. Showrunners and writers just gave Aemond Daeron’s book personality, and there is nothing sugarcoated or whitewashed about Daeron. He just is, objectively, the good guy.)

Now back to the topic: what happens when two narrative foils get merged into one? The character needs to become a foil to someone else. And this new Frankenstein-ish Aemond/Daeron mishmash became the foil to Aegon. Of course, Aemond will always be, no matter what changes about the show, the narrative foil to Daemon: they are second sons, they die to each other in an epic dragon battle, they are both the villains of their respective sides, their names are anagrams of each other, etc. However, in Season 1, it is not quite Daemon Aemond is being juxtaposed to. Not yet anyways, no. In Season 1, Aemond is being juxtaposed to Aegon.

That is why we got the cringe scene of “‘Tis I who studies the sword, ‘tis I who studies history, ‘tis I who studies philosophy,” or whatever the fuck he said. That is why we had Aemond join Criston in searching for Aegon when in F&B that didn’t happen (and stole Kingmaker Cole’s role in convincing Aegon of the crown but that’s a topic for another day). That’s why we got Aegon begging Aemond to just let him go and sail away, insinuating that Aemond was the better option to take the crown (when in F&B that was 1. literally not what happened during that scene at all and 2. one of Aegon’s biggest and most important character defining moments. And they ruined it all in favor of Aemond AAGGRGRHHHHHGG). Remember how I said Daeron was The King Who Should Have Been over both Rhaenyra and Aegon? They gave this trait to Aemond in order to contrast him to Aegon who never wanted to be king at all.

This Daeron-ification of Aemond now makes him “the better man” between him and his brother in the show, and that was done all to the detriment of Aegon's character. It’s also what led to the application of the Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon-love triangle to the Aegon II/Helaena/Aemond-show dynamic. In the book, this never would've passed because Aemond is the worst of all four siblings, and Daeron was simply too young.

There is not a single character on House of the Dragon who has gone through the same amount of character assassination as Aegon has.

Now, all this doesn't mean that Aemond = Daeron in the show, it means that most of Daeron's characterization has been merged together with the character of Aemond. Because it was abundantly clear that Sapochnik was not going to include Daeron in the show. This is what might lead you to believe that Aemond has been whitewashed, when in fact the character is just a Frankenstein fusion of Daeron the Daring and Aemond One-Eye. Just like the Young Griff-Jon Snow/Daenerys/Cersei fiasco of GOT.

#daeron #aemond #aegon ii #hotd #hotd critical #asoiaf #anonymous #answered

[orcasoul]

Reckless

Summery: Joel and reader are paired up as patrol partners. Both have suppressed feelings for each other. He's frustrated with her sometimes impulsive actions and she's fed up of his coldness towards her. After an almost fatal encounter during a supply search they both admit their feelings for one another.

Warning's: Swearing, angst, infected attack, age gap (reader is in her late 30's and Joel is in his late 50's), Use of Y/N.

"Stay close and don't do anything reckless!" Joel turned to you and gave you a look that left no room for arguments. You rolled your eyes and in a mocking voice replied "Yes sir," with a salute. Joel rolled his eyes in return before turning away. You can't help the smirk growing across your face, knowing how much it bugs him when you do that. But you can understand why he felt the need to say it. You wouldn't admit he was right when he accused you of acting before thinking sometimes, but there are times when risks are worth taking and you'd never willingly put yourself in a risky situation if you weren't confident you could handle it. You and Joel have been patrol partners for two months now, since you happened to stumble across Jackson on your way to..... nowhere, really. You were just existing at that point and so close to giving up until you were fortunate enough to cross paths with one of Jackson's patrol groups, and were welcomed into the community. They'd given you a purpose again so you took your patrols very seriously, wanting to do all you could to serve your community and prove yourself as a valuable member of Jackson.

At first your patrols with Joel were a little awkward. The man hardly spoke, unless it was to give you orders, or to voice his displeasure of being "stuck with a kid" on patrol. Kid! I guess to a grumpy 56 year old dinosaur a 37 year old is a kid, you once scoffed mentally. "I'm not here to babysit. I'm here to show you the ropes so you can do your part efficiently, got it?" Joel gruffed at you from his horse on your first patrol. "Good thing I don't need a babysitter then," you snapped back, glaring at him. Joel huffed and rolled his eyes. "Look you'd better be able to handle yourself out here because you're not my problem and I'm not gonna make you my problem, Okay?" "Jesus Christ" You muttered to yourself. You now spoke louder so he could hear you. "If I couldn't handle myself I'd have been dead a long time ago. I don't need a protector and you and I know damn well I wouldn't be assigned to patrol if the council didn't deem me capable. So how about we just get on with the task at hand, eh?"

Joel turned back around on his horse, letting out an annoyed mumble. The truth was he'd already made you his "problem" and he didn't like it one bit! He'd caught the odd glimpses of you when you'd first arrived at Jackson and was immediately struck, not only by how beautiful you are but also by the look of disbelief written across your face. A feeling he knew all too well. Shock and awe, that a place like this could exist. A piece of heaven in a hellish world, he'd once described it, and if this was heaven then you must be an angel. After a few brief chats with you (well actually Tommy and Maria did most of the talking while he mostly just sat and listened to how sweet and genuine you came across) he knew then that you were different to other women he had known. There was just something about you. It was ridiculous! He hadn't felt this way about a woman in over twenty years, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start acting like a love-struck teenager at 56. So he decided it was best to push down any feelings he had developing and keep you at arms length.

And that's what he did. He barely spoke to you and quickly shut down any conversation you tried to strike up with him. After a few weeks he'd noticed you'd stopped trying. A part of him felt that maybe he was being too harsh and probably came across as an asshole but he couldn't allow himself to get too close to you. The more people you care for, the more you have to lose, besides it's not like someone as sweet and beautiful as her would be interested in a middle aged grump, he'd keep reminding himself when he felt like letting you in. So he did what he does best; He built a wall and hid behind it. At first Joel's stand-offish attitude irked you but you thought if you were going to be partners you'd at least try to get him to loosen up. Maybe he just needs me to take the first step and initiate the conversations, you mused. But after a few weeks of trying and being met with short answers and gruffs you realised you weren't going to get anywhere with him, so you just accepted the silence that mostly accompanied your patrols.

You tried to convince yourself that it didn't bother you but truthfully it did. And you knew why, even if you refused to think about the reason too much, trying to distract yourself whenever your thoughts went "there". You were attracted to him, had been since you met him. Even though he didn't speak much, something in his eyes and the way he looked at you ignited a desire and a need for this quiet, but extremely handsome man. You wondered if he was like this with everyone. He had a good twenty years on you so maybe he'd just seen a lot more horrors than you. Horrors that have no doubt moulded him into this brooding entity of a man. He also seemed to have had a lot more encounters with infected than you have, if the rumours were anything to go by, and they were probably true otherwise he wouldn't be alive now. So giving his experience you decided to mostly follow his orders while on patrol. Better safe than sorry, eh?

Today's patrol was going to be somewhat different than the usual checking and resetting of traps and scanning the area for trouble. You'd both been sent out to a small town about four miles to the east of Jackson, to a veterinary surgery to pick up some medical equipment that had been hidden away by the last patrol group, their bags being to full to take them at the time. You loved Jackson's animal's and since veterinary equipment and supplies were always in short supply this was like hitting the jackpot! Upon arriving you both dismount your horses and tie them up in an overgrown wooded area not far behind the building. Joel quickly sneaked around the building as you followed suit, guns at the ready for any kind of trouble. Peering in through the once glass glass entrance doors it appears the building is empty. "Let's go," you say with confidence as you begin to walk through the door frame, only to be roughly pulled back by Joel's calloused hand on your upper arm.

"What the fuck you doing, Joel?" you scold him as you rip your arm out of his grasp. "What the fuck are you doing?" He shot back angrily. "Just because it's quiet here it doesn't mean there's no infected further inside the building. I'm going first." As he brushes passed you, you can smell hints of sandlewood, earth and something.... Joel like. Damn it, does he have to smell so good? You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the intrusive thought. You hated that whenever he got too close you felt a rush of heat to your core and your heart would beat faster. Sure, you'd known from the moment you'd met him that he's the most handsome man you've ever seen, but you never imagined in a million years he'd be interested in someone so much younger than himself. Not when there were plenty of women his age in Jackson literally fawning all over him every Friday night at the Tipsy Bison.

So for the most part you'd just try to ignore your feelings and focus on your patrol duties with him. Even though sometimes you got the feeling he saw you as a hindrance, sometimes you felt like he hated you, you weren't about to let that get in the way of doing your job. And today is no different. You follow Joel quietly into the surgery, your senses on high alert, looking in every direction. As you pass the front desk you notice leaflets about pet insurance with the most adorable cat and dogs pictures on them, covered in 20 years of dust and mould. You smile sadly, imagining what this place would have been like in it's heyday and how you would have loved to work in a place like this. Focus, you idiot!" you mentally scold yourself, snapping your attention back to the present moment. You follow Joel down the darkened corridor of the building, the only light coming through the windows of rooms with open doors, just enough to see clearly.

Both of your heads scan from left to right as you make your way past the doors, some open, some closed. You'd both been instructed to go to the operating theatre at the back, push the grey cabinet from the wall and you'd find the supplies hidden in a hole behind it. You both approach the theatre slowly and silently. Once you were sure you were alone you closed the door and shrugged off your backpack, dropping it to the floor, as did Joel. "I got this," you say to Joel before he can walk over to the cabinet. As you pushed the cabinet the high pitched sound of metal scraping across the floor made you clench your teeth. To you it was like nails on a chalk board! But that sound was nothing compared to the sound that came next and it made your blood freeze. "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!", all at the same time. BANG! BANG! BANG! Both of your heads snap to the rattling door, then back to each other.

"Shit!" Joel cursed. "Hurry, fill the bags and hide." Looking around the large theatre it's evident that there aren't many things to hide behind, just some operating tables and crates. You only manage to fill the bags half full before the door bursts open, slamming against the wall. Joel grabbed your hand and pulled you behind an operating table with him, communicating with his eyes that everything will be okay. He brings a finger to his lips, silently telling you to be quiet. You hadn't realised just how hard you'd been breathing, as your rapid heartbeat had filled your ears with the sound of rushing blood. You take slow, quiet breaths, desperately trying to calm your nerves. You both pull your knives out. Guns are loud and clickers are abnormally fast. If there were only two of them you could take one each, but it's just your luck that there are three of the fuckers, making it too risky to fire your guns. Joel throws his head over his shoulder, gesturing for you to follow, the both of you taking agonisingly slow, crouched steps around the table.

After a series of deafening screeches and clicks, the three clickers began to clumsily stagger around the room, scanning for whatever had caused the noise. As you follow Joel across the room you suddenly realise the backpacks have been left behind. You gently pull on Joel's arm to get his attention and point to the backpacks. Joel looks to where you are pointing but he shakes his head 'no'. The supplies are important, yes, but all that matters to him in this moment is getting you to safety. He can see the silent protest in your eyes and he knows just how stubborn and impulsive you can be. Before you can begin to crawl back to the bags Joel roughly grabs your wrist, pulling you closer "Leave them," his words are barely a whisper. Frustration bubbles within you, leading to anger. You hate having to leave such valuable and needed equipment behind just because these rotting bastards chose now of all times to turn up!

They must have turned up not long after you and Joel entered the building because the previous patrol would have put them down or at least warned you two before hand. Great fucking timing! You think to yourself, sarcastically. You roll your eyes and reluctantly nod, following Joel's lead. He seems so confident in this moment that you wonder how many times he's had to do this in the past, and for the first time since your patrols began you're grateful to have him with you. As you cautiously sneak behind Joel across the room you can't help but notice how broad his shoulders are and you find your gaze heading lower to his ass, his thick thighs, the sliver of skin between his jeans and jacket, now visible because he's crouching..... now's not the time, you quietly chastise yourself.

It's becoming more difficult to navigate the room with these fuckers aimlessly wandering around, and every click and shrill screech makes you freeze for a few moments. Joel seems to sense your unease and he gentle reaches back to take your hand in his. This is the gentlest he's ever touched you, and the sensation of his warm, big hand engulfing yours has your heart racing and butterflies flitting in your tummy. The concern and care he's showing you now is a stark contrast to the usual treatment he gives you.

Joel's heart is in his throat! The door is so close, yet so far. Gripping your shaking hand he slowly leads the way to the open door. As you both approach it he stops and pulls you in front of him to go first, then turning, he grabs the door, slowly moving it so it doesn't make a sound and pulls it ajar. He stand up, shaking out his aching legs one after the other. He turns to you as you stand, brings his hand up to cup your cheek, and whispers "you okay?" You can feel your cheeks heating up at his touch, his intense gaze boring right into the depths of you. Nervously you nod, trying to calm your breaths. It's not the infected that has you breathing heavily this time. Joel's hand slips from your cheek, down your arm and into your hand, linking his fingers through yours. Quietly you both make your way to the entrance doors, the sounds of clicking becoming more distant.

Once outside Joel breathes a sigh of relief while sheathing his knife. This could have ended badly, so badly. Weather you like it or not he has taken on the responsibility to always keep you safe and he would never have forgiven himself if he'd let you get infected or killed. He's pulled from his pensive state when you stop suddenly, releasing his hand. He hates the emptiness he feels in his palm, now that your soft warm touch has abandoned him. "Joel," you mutter as he turns to look at you in confusion. "We can't just leave everything behind. We can't go home empty handed," "Forget it," Joel replied with finality. "We're not going back. I barely got you out of there in one piece." It wasn't lost on you that he'd said you instead of us and it brought a warmth to your heart to know he cared about your safety somewhat. "We wouldn't have stood a chance in there but I'm sure we could handle them from out here. We just have to lure th-" "no!" he cut you off sharply. If he'd been with any other partner they would have dispatched those clickers quickly but he's not going to risk your life.

You huff and narrow your eyes at him. "So what? We just leave them behind because of a few... obstacles? They're too important. we need them." Joel shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Look, I'll come back with some of the others in a few days. We'll get rid of the infected and grab the supplies," " But they're all over the floor in clear sight. What if raiders come back through here and take them before you can return?" you ask with your hands on your hips and irritation in your voice. "Well then.... they take them," Joel snorted. "Let's get to the horses," he orderd before walking away from you. Sighing, you reluctantly follow, but not before throwing a glance over your shoulder and silently cursing those damned infected for ruining this golden opportunity. Golden opportunity, you thought. Yeah, this is a golden opportunity and how many of them do we get these days? After a few more moments of deliberation you decided it's worth the risk. "Fuck it," you muttered to yourself, slowing your pace behind Joel. He was already quite a way in front of you but you wanted a bit more distance between you two so he wouldn't notice you walking back.

When enough time had passed you slowly turn and make your way back to the surgery. Part of you feels foolish for doing this but damn it, Jackson needs these supplies and you're not going to fail them. You understand it's risky to take on clickers, especially alone but now you have the upper hand. You quickly form a plan as you near the building, grabbing a brick off the ground to use as a distraction. As you cautiously re-enter the surgery you draw your pistol, taking the safety off. Creeping stealthily down the dark corridor, the clicking becomes louder, making you tremble and your adrenaline spike. You silently open the door on your left, doing a quick check to make sure it's empty. A brick to the window will make for a pretty good distraction. Leaving the door wide open you slink to the theatre door, opening it as quietly as you can while trying to keep your breathing calm. The clickers are now almost motionless, swaying like jellyfish in the ocean, with no purpose or goal. You carefully retreat backwards, placing every step as delicately as you can to avoid making any noise, until you are in front of the other door. With your gun ready in one hand you lift the other hand holding the brick, take a deep breath, pray to any god that might be listening, and throw!

Joel knew it didn't make sense to leave the supplies behind and you were probably right to say you could both handle them now that you're outside, having space as an advantage, but in the two months you've been patrolling together you've never come as close to death as you did today and he won't lose another person he cares for, not now, not ever! The more he thought about it, the more he realised that pushing you away doesn't change how he feels about you. He hoped these feelings would fade away over time but if anything, he cares for you now more than ever and today has proven to him just how much you mean to him. Shit, he inwardly groaned while shaking his head. What the hell do i do about this? After a few more moments lost in his thoughts it dawned on him that he can't hear your footsteps behind him anymore.

Spinning on his heel his eyes frantically search the surrounding area for you but you're nowhere to be seen. His heart feels like it's about to bust through his rib cage as fear grips him with an unrelenting force. Before he can call your name the sounds of smashing glass and inhuman screams fill the once silent air. "Y/N!!" Joel screams your name so loudly his throat feels like it's on fire and he makes a desperate sprint for the surgery. A series of shots ring out as he nears the building. Now matter how fast he's running, it feels like he can't get to you fast enough, all the while imagining the worst. Charging through the foyer he hears clicker screeches mixed with your own screams. The sound of your screams absorb deep into his being, fuelling the same fury he felt when he learned what the fireflies were planning to do with Ellie. He rounded the corner of the front desk to the corridor and the world slowed down when he took in the sight of you pinned under a clicker, desperately pushing at it's neck to keep it's face from yours with one hand, and wildly flinging your other arm above your head in a blind search for your knife that is just out of reach.

All rational and deliberate thought abandoned Joel's mind and a primal need to protect possessed him. He lunged toward the clicker, knife drawn, and plunged it deep into it's decaying skull. The horrid, clawing monster became limp and silent before being lifted and thrown aside like a rag doll. In it's place was Joel, bloody knife pointing downwards, heaving deep breaths and looking at you with a mixture of anger and terror. You've never seen such raw emotion etched onto his face before and you were sure you were in for it now. "Joel," you rasped, relief mixed with trepidation. Still trembling from the encounter, you slowly sit up while staring at Joel wide eyed. You braced yourself for the angry admonishment you knew you deserved, but to your surprise Joel dropped to his knees in front of you, his knife clanging as it hit the tiled floor. "Are you hurt?! Are you bit?!, Are you okay?!" The words came tumbling from his lips a hundred miles an hour as his hands wondered from your face to your neck, to your shoulders, to your arms, to your legs and finally your torso.

You can only stare at him in bewilderment, noticing the tears glossing over his eyes and how his entire body is shaking. You place your palms over his trembling hands to try and calm him. "I'm okay Joel, really," you reassure him in a gentle tone. He looks down at your hands placed on his and realises he's holding tightly onto your waist. Embarrassed, he swiftly drops his hands, clears his throat and stands up. He offers his hand to pull you up, which you gingerly accept. You stand, looking up into his dark eyes that now seem to want to tell you... something. No words are spoken for what feels like forever. You break the silence first. "Guess we can get our backpacks now," you whisper nervously, your arms and legs still shaking from the adrenaline that hasn't quite left your system. Joel stands as still as a statue, his face now emotionless and it was unnerving to say the least. You're used to him being grumpy and irritable, you're used to seeing him confident and meticulous, but this was something else, and you don't know how to even speak to him right now. It's almost as if he's not even there, as if he's in a trance!

You swallow the lump in your throat as you head towards the theatre, glancing at the bodies of the other two clickers you managed to shoot in the next room. After filling the backpacks with all of the medical equipment, you rise to find Joel standing in the doorway, still staring but now he looks furious. "Um... here you go," you murmured as you walked over to him and held out his backpack. Joel snatched it from your grasp, causing you to flinch slightly, and stormed outside. "Shit," you mutter under your breath and follow him outside with your head hanging low in shame. The walk to the horses was unbearably quiet, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. You know you had just fucked up, big time! He'll probably never patrol with you again after this.

At least one good thing has come of this. You have the supplies, so maybe it wasn't all bad. "Hey, Joel?" you utter his name shyly as you reach the horses saddles. Joel stops, slightly turns his head to the side, huffs and mounts his horse. Blinking back tears you mount your horse and gently kick it's sides to make it move, making sure to keep a few paces behind Joel's horse. The silence is deafening. With nothing else to occupy your mind it replays that almost fatal encounter over and over again. If Joel hadn't have got there when he did you'd be dead now, that's for certain. You had been so sure you could handle them yourself, but once again Joel was proven right; You don't think before you act, and this time you almost paid the ultimate price. But the worst part for you was that you'd put Joel in danger. If he had died because of your actions you'd never be able to live with yourself. Guilt begins to gnaw at you, an oppressive and gut wrenching sensation that just grows stronger the more you think about it.

You could have gotten him killed and now you're responsible for this strange.... episode he's having. Unable to suffer the crippling guilt and uneasy silence any longer, you sidle up beside Joel. He's still looking dead ahead, unwilling to acknowledge your presence. "Hey," you clear your throat, awkwardly. "Thanks for saving me back there." Joel just tensed his jaw and nodded ever so slightly. "I'm sorry about what happened. Can we talk for a minute?-" "No," Joel snapped. "Joel," you say quietly. "I said no." Joel kicked his horse to make it move faster. You glare at him and sigh in frustration at his stubbornness. For god's sake, I'm trying to apologise and he's being a dick, you bitterly think. You pull on the reigns, bringing your horse to a sudden stop and dismount. Joel quickly stops his horse and turns to face you. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked in exasperation. "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me," you reply with your arms crossed over your chest, chin held high.

"We're not doing this now. Get back on the horse Y/N." "Not until you talk to me!" you yell at him, frustration seeping through your words. Joel could feel his anger flare and before he could think, he jumped off his horse and stormed over to where you stood defiantly. "You wanna talk? Fine. What the fuck where you doing, going back in there by yourself?!" He roared. "You got a fucking death wish, or something?!" His hands are balled into fists at his sides, chest heaving with angry breaths and his face turning red. You've never seen him this angry before. It was confusing that he'd show this level of care over your well being when most of the time you could swear he hated you. "I'm sorry," you sigh. "I didn't think it through-" "No, you didn't, as usual!" Joel retorted. Okay you'll give him that one. "I just didn't want to fail the community. These supplies are important-" "More important than your life?" Joel asked, his words laced with frustration. "Well... maybe... yeah," you spoke quietly.

Joel blinked and snapped his head back in stunned silence at your words. He didn't expect you to ever say that. "What do you mean 'yeah'?" he cried in disbelief. "The animals are vital to Jackson. Everyone depends on them for food, clothing, transport. So maybe it was worth risking my life. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I just hate myself for putting you in danger. I'm really sorry Joel." Your voice trembled slightly on the last few words. Joel couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I don't care about me, I'm furious with you for putting yourself in danger. What if I had been a few seconds later? You be fucking dead now!" "I know," you looked down at your feet, feeling like a child who'd broken their parents' favourite ornament after being told to leave it alone. "I just can't believe how god damn stupid you are!" Your head snapped up like a pissed off cobra as he spat those words out at you. Here you are apologising and he goes and calls you stupid, oh hell no! Your cheeks burn in anger as the blood in your veins begins to boil. "Excuse me?! I've just apologised and accepted all your criticisms, but don't you dare call me stupid!" Now it's your turn to curl your fists.

"What else am I supposed to think when you do shit like that? You almost died!" Your guilt is now being burned away by anger, filling you with a need to defend yourself. "What do you care if I died anyway?" You throw your hands up in indignation. "Yeah I made the wrong decision, but it was mine to make. Don't pretend that you care all of a sudden. Most of the time you fucking hate me!" Joel's eyes widen at your accusation. "Y...You think I hate you?" He asks, taken aback. "Well....yeah," you reply as though it should have been obvious. "I mean in two months you've only ever spoken to me to order me about. You won't even speak to me when I pass you in town. So what am I supposed to think?" "I don't hate you!" Joel can barely contain his vexation at this point. "Christ do you realise what it would do to me if I lost you?" He stopped suddenly, realising what he had just let slip. He could see the astonishment on your face and knowing there's no turning back now, he continued, his voice calm but hesitant, "I don't hate you. I hate how I feel about you."

His confession was the last thing you had expected. After a few moments you collected yourself and walked closer to Joel so that you were looking up into his eyes. "And what do you feel?" you asked softly, while searching his rich brown eyes. The want and longing he feels for you is now abundantly evident in his gaze but he's unsure of what to do next. He was determined to keep his distance, so if he ever lost you it wouldn't hurt as much. But distant or not he almost did lose you and it was excruciating! He realised now he'd wasted enough time trying to push you away and he doesn't want to do that anymore, especially not now with the way you are looking at him. You delicately bring your hands to his chest and repeat the question. "Joel, what do you fe-" before you can finish his lips crash onto yours, his hands grabbing your waist to pull you against his body.

You return the kiss eagerly, wrapping your arms around his back, opening your mouth to allow his tongue to caress yours. His hands tenderly wander up your back, one staying there while the other gently cups your cheek. After several more seconds he pulls away from your lips, guiding your head to the crook of his neck. "Fuck Y/N, I can't lose you, not you," he breathes the words into your ear. You smile deliriously into his neck, hoping this isn't a dream. You dreamed about having him for so long, but never once thought it would ever happen. "So you don't hate me, then?" You grin as you look up at him and rub your nose against his. Joel looks into your eyes adoringly and chuckles, "Of course not." "Then why have you been acting so cold towards me?" you enquire with genuine confusion. "I just didn't want to feel... anything for you. I was afraid to." You've never heard Joel speak with such vulnerability and it made your heart swell for him. "I've lost too many people and I thought pushing you away was for the best. But I can see now that it's the stupidest thing I've ever done. And I never even thought you would feel the same way about me. God, I can't believe how much time I've wasted when I should have just been honest with you."

The sincerity of his words has your head swimming and you kiss him again, hungrily. The tickly feel of his beard, his strong arms wrapping around you, the warmth of him as you press against his chest has you yearning for more of him. "I really like you Joel," you pant as you pull away. "I really like you too, darling," Joel replied just as breathless as you. His southern drawl on the word darling made your knees feel weak! "So let's not waste any more time. Meet me for a drink at the Tipsy Bison later? "Definitely," he answers while placing a quick peck on your nose. "I'm sorry for calling you stupid. You're not. I shouldn't have said that, I was just afraid." "It's okay." you reassure him. "And I promise, I won't take risks like that anymore." "Good, cause next time I'll kill you myself." Joel teases. You roll your eyes playfully and salute, "yes sir." Joel shakes his head and laughs under his breath, causing a giggle to leave you and he knows now he'll be enjoying the sound of your laughter for a long time to come. You both return to your horses and mount to begin the journey back home side by side. This time the silence is comfortable and cozy, filled with soft glances and gentle smiles.

#pedro pascal #joel miller imagine #joel miller fic

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Fourteen

A/n: Hello! This part honestly took me a while to work out so here's me hoping it came out alright:) Big thank you to @Youlookjustfinetome btw for finding me some more G pics, honestly lots of love to you, practically saved my life🥲 And I hope you all enjoy part fourteen!!

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: There's some medical stuff here, lot of mixed feelings, bit of an angry rant but not much to warn you about tbh

Masterlist

—

I'd found myself nodding away, head in another place when the doctor had come in to speak to me. 

Wishing I’d been on another plane. 

Or in a different fucking reality altogether, I really didn’t know. 

But I’d hardly paid her any attention, even when she’d rattled off the extensive list of the injuries they’d discovered since the paramedics had wheeled me in.

Severe blunt force trauma to the head. “There’s no need to fret, I know it can sound daunting but the induced coma you were put into on arrival was used to protect your brain from any further swelling after the initial hit. We’ve also done multiple scans since so we’re almost certain that there will be no longterm damage.”

“Hang on- almost? What’s that meant to mean?” Matty had piped up in retort, having held my hand through it the entire time. He hadn’t let go, not even for a second, once the shorthaired woman had arrived not long after Lee, my nurse, had slipped out.

“Only time will tell with these sorts of injuries.” She’d tried to appease us with a clinical sort of smile, but then had gone on to describe the hit to me…

I had to shake away the thoughts of it even now, long after she’d left. 

It sounded so violent. So harsh to what I could barely even recall.

“You were hit head-on. Meaning that your torso took the brunt force of the collision, which also resulted in you being thrown backwards nearly three feet. That in itself left a lot of room for damage when your body collided with the ground. The back of your head will have a rather large scar but we did our best to minimise it, and the hair should fall nicely over the top without any notice.”

I’d nodded at her once and had fought the urge to reach up and touch beneath the thick gauze they’d padded there. 

Another scar. 

I’d had to look away when Matty had tried to catch my eye. 

One perforated eardrum, left-side. “There was a severe rupture in one of your inner ear canals which was a cause for concern too. At this moment, we’re still left unsure on how long it could take for the damage to repair itself, or if it ever will as a result of the injury to your head. Currently, we’ve got you taking a high dosage of-”

She’d prattled on after that. Talks of antibiotics and surgery (if things really came down to it), and then the warning of me maybe having to deal a with a total loss of hearing incase of any infection in the future. 

I’d checked out rather quickly at that. But in truth, it had explained a lot. The ringing that wouldn’t stop. The earaches and the itching. As well as the feeling like I’m underwater, hearing everything through a tinny in-ear piece, or trying to talk over the sound of a very rowdy washing machine. 

Matty had asked the doctor a plethora of questions on my behalf at that. Or I only assumed, because the woman had replied telling him that she would be happy to pass on a couple of pamphlets for him to look over. I remembered that he’d been anxious in his agreeable nod, thanking her a few times under his breath. And that had been the last of it before she’d moved on again.

A distal radius fracture. Multiple breaks in the ribcage. “The distal radius is the larger one of the two bones in the forearm. You suffered two fractures there, one on the distal end and another a little further up. It’s a very common break though and you were able to avoid any surgery on the arm. Though, it will take between six to twelve weeks to heal. And after that, some patients still find that they need physiotherapy to get back full usage of the wrist.”

I’d looked down at my hand in that moment. Stared at the cast which started at the centre of my palm and worked its way up to the crook of my elbow. The small cut I'd received in the shop earlier that same week had nothing on this.

It was my right arm too. Which only fucked me further, and I’d had to laugh at that. As though I hadn’t suffered enough. Now I had to forgo the next few months trying to manoeuvre through life and work with my left. fucking. hand. 

I’d tried not to let that thought get to me in the moment. Focused on the fact that I could still move my fingers somewhat, even if they were swollen and a tad bit numb. It hadn’t helped then though and hardly reassured me now. 

The detailed description of my ribs current state had followed swiftly after. Which explained the trouble I had breathing, as well as the severe burning pain I felt whenever I even thought about moving.

“It was just the three fractures.” Just, I’d wanted to scoff at her. “All on one side, most likely due to the first impact made by the car. Most cases of broken ribs can be treated with rest, icing a couple times a day and pain relief.”

The doctor had then gone on to explain about the breathing and coughing exercises she was going to have me do whilst I was under-observation. Something about preventing pneumonia or the sorts. Which had just been another thing I had ended up not having the heart to hear. 

Although the fracture in one of my ribs had quickly waylaid her onto her next point. She’d actually had to pause when she’d come to it and really took the time to look me in the eye, her stoic and impersonal manner dropping. 

I mean, the woman had been nice enough, she’d smiled when necessary and took the time to explain things to me in thorough detail, but she was also evidently detached, that much was clear. She didn’t want to get overly involved in my case. Couldn’t. But then, something had ultimately shifted. Even Matty had appeared to notice it, he’d clued in to the way she’d propped herself forward in her seat, the slight glance she’d gifted her colleague before she’d cleared her throat, eyes trained back on me. 

She’d begun her account in a sincere but well-practiced tone, informing me of the injury that had been a result of my broken ribs. And as she had, I’d actually felt my entire world tilt on its head. And I only wished then to be floating again. 

Splenic rupture. That one had been the toughest pill to swallow.

“One of the ribs on your left side pierced the spleen on impact but it only tore the organ further during transport I'm afraid. It had been hard to determine at first, the three breaks had been one of our first concerns and because of your difficulty breathing our first thought had been a collapsed lung. By the time we realised how much damage had been caused, after we’d witnessed a CT scan result, there was a large amount of blood that had poured into the abdominal cavity.”

I’d just stared blankly back at her. 

“You were put under an anaesthetic rather quickly and rushed into theatre…”

“Surgery went well, although there was an altercation or two…”

“Tried to minimise scarring…”

“Risk of infection…”

“Future treatments..”

“Medications…”

I had tuned it all out. 

Physically I’d still been there. In that room with her. And Matty of course. But mentally, my mind had been far away. Beyond even my own compression. It’d felt like I’d sort of drowned and the struggle to find air had suddenly stopped. Leaving me with just an empty head. No thoughts. No feelings. Nothing on the matter.

Just the fact that I had another scar.

And that, that made me feel like a walking voodoo doll.

—

My stay in the hospital was beginning to grate on my nerves. Slowly but surely I was starting to lose my mind. And I was so sure of it. 

It had taken two days for me to come to the first time around. Two days since the hit, I mean. But now, I’d been here almost a week. Sleeping mostly, but bored beyond belief or in mind-numbing pain for the rest of it. 

Ross had come to visit. He came daily, sometimes even twice. He brought food (sticking to what he knew best) and it often ranged from the chocolate pasties he knew I tended to drift towards in the Danish bakery up near his, to all of the sugar he could smuggle inside the lining of his coat. 

He liked to keep me company too; told me all about the football, who was top of the league and what players were currently injured; kept me updated on how things were going with his mates down at the pub (the very blokey bloke types he’d always seemed to get along with); and whispered to me about all the hot gossip that was making its way around the hospital that he often caught wind of on his way up to the ward, and during his frequent visits to the vending machine. 

Ross didn’t ask too many questions either and after his first frantic visit, I found myself wanting to ask him less and less too. He was also one of the fair few that still treated me like an actual person. The usual bullying and typical snarky responses were a very welcomed change of pace, as were those eye-rolls of his that he usually gifted me each time I had a coughing fit. 

“Here we go,” He’d say with a put-upon sigh, slumping in the chair he tended to drag up beside my bed whenever Matty gave him the chance. “Always the centre of attention! I mean, can’t we just talk about me for once?”

Which only proved to worsen things because then I’d been coughing, laughing and spluttering all sorts of obscenities at him, all at the same time.

Yeah, it was safe to say that my doctors weren’t too fond of Ross.

Adam though, they liked. He popped in too, and brought Carly along with him whenever she could make it. Those two were oftentimes too empathetic in their visits though, which was sometimes hard to bare. But they’d also brought me my favourite kind of teabags and the lactose-free milk I opted for. As well as my own little kettle that they’d gone and plugged into the wall beside my bed for me- but only after I’d nonstop complained about the hospital’s lack of fulfilling drinks. 

Their tea tasted like piss water was the shorter defence there. 

But Hann had also been the one to bring me over some of the things I’d been missing from home, like my pillow, laptop and my charger- seeing as my phone had been dead since it’d been handed back to me in a plastic baggy, alongside an array of other things I didn’t much want to look at. Mostly just the clothes I’d been wearing the night of the accident.

It was a heaven send though, to be able to distract myself with a shitty Netflix series or the odd scroll through social media. Although I did have to limit my usage. Stop myself from googling questions I knew I wouldn’t like the answers to. Still, it had been a nice gesture in all, made even better by the comfort of finally wearing my own clothes and actual underwear! Instead of the itchy gown they’d had me in. 

Though mentioning that, the one who knew me best, who I thought would be by my bedside, holding my hand, and making sure I stayed well-rested. Who soothed me during the moments of panic and disorientation. Who whispered quietly in my ear and held me close when the reminders became too much to bare, and when pain was all I could think about. 

He was nowhere to be found.

Because Matty had gone and stepped into that role for him. For me, I guess. Sweet, chaotic Matty who could barely even look after himself at the best of times, and who’d spent most of his adult life revelling in the fact that he had no strings to tie him down. He was there for me. A constant. 

Only ever leaving in a rush to shower and change so that he could make it back in time for when I had to take my medication. 

Charming Lee into letting him stay long past visiting hours and having the sweetheart swindle him a makeshift bed that he could use, instead of the clump of chairs he’d converted into a shitty lounger.

Talking the rest of the patients into doing a bit of karaoke and dancing by my bed to keep me entertained. He’d even had Ross bring him his guitar so that we could sing together before lights out. Him crooning like he did best, me all muffled and croaky. Though he still claimed that my voice was as angelic as the last time he’d heard it. 

Matty. My best mate Matty. 

I didn’t think I’d ever been more thankful to have another human being in my life. Nor would I ever be.

So after prodding him with multiple questions on where George could’ve possibly been. What was keeping him away. And only receiving vague responses in turn, or worse, being easily distracted. I finally decided to give up.

Well. Not give up, per say. Just allowed Matty some peace and quiet. I knew it wasn’t his fault that George had been a no-show. That he’d gone and left me when I needed him most. So the questions had become less and less frequent, until I’d decided to not ask them at all.

“You sure you’re alright?” Matty repeated for what felt like the fifteenth time since I’d accidentally woken him that morning. 

He was setting out my lunch for me, something I found infuriating but was also what kept his hands occupied and brain busy, he was eyeing me a bit strangely. Like he felt as though something was inherently off and he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I rolled my eyes, a fond smile limning my lips even as he pierced the straw through my smoothie’s carton for me. 

“I told you I could do that.” I scolded lightly. 

Matty merely hummed in reply, “Yeah, well you say that but you can hardly hike down your own knickers even after I’ve dragged you all the way to the loo, so…”

He snorted at my sudden glare, waving me off with a smirk as he handed me the drink and stole the sandwich the nurses had dropped off for me.

“What kind is it today?” I asked him, sipping at the smoothie that came with it whilst he plopped himself down on the other end of my bed, kicking his feet up near my uninjured wrist.

“Ham and cheese, I reckon. Maybe a bit of mayo but can’t be too sure. Stingy fucks these lot.” He retorted through a mouthful. I grinned and withheld a painful laugh.  

This had become a bit of a pastime for us. Him stealing the sandwiches that I refused to eat, because they always seemed to line the bread with a crap ton of butter, which even thinking about had my stomach rolling. And him then critiquing every flavour to me. 

Yesterday’s had been stuffing and egg, something that had had Matty grimacing even as he fought to finish the first few mouthfuls. He’d quickly given up on that one though and washed the foul taste out with one of the many cans of San Pellegrino he'd asked Hann to bring in for him. Prat. 

“Anyway, you never answered me.” Matty mentioned again, bringing me back to the present. I hummed at him with only a tilt of my head. He rolled his eyes and prodded my hip with his socked foot. “Come on, something’s up. Can sense it, can’t I?”

I snorted softly at him, quirking a brow. “What, you become a self-proclaimed empath in the time you went home to shower?”

He flashed me a toothy grin which wrinkled his brown eyes. “Summat like that, I reckon.”

I huffed, shaking my head albeit in a measure of amusement. “Nothing’s wrong, Wonder Woman. Dr Mann even said I was improving, did she not?”

I wasn’t met with a reply though, so I glanced away from my smoothie and back towards Matty. I found him to simply be staring back at me. A prominent line etched between his brows.

“What?” I asked him with pursed lips. 

It was his turn to shake his head then, looking away to gaze out the shuttered window. We were quite high up, 6th floor if what I can recall Ross saying is true. The sun was high in the sky, and there was not a drop of rain in sight. 

I looked away then and kicked at Matty’s elbow. “Come on, what is it? You’re bein’ a right weirdo.”

He shrugged, chewing away, eyes still cast outside. “Just, you haven’t mentioned it is all.”

I frowned at him, unsure of what he possibly could've meant. “Mentioned what?”

Matty’s gaze pivoted towards me for a brief moment, looking for something I was sure, probably a a tell only he could make out. Then he shrugged at me again.

“Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

“Matty…” I tried, but my tired groan was cut short by the prominent arrival of Ross. 

An angry looking Ross, actually.

I boggled a little at the sight, as did Matty who'd jumped around to see what had caught me by so much surprise.

“Matty. A word.” Ross demanded of the curly haired twat curled up by my feet, having stuck half his foot in the door and not had the common decency to even spare me a hello. What would his mother say? 

“Erm, morning to you too, MacDonald!” I scoffed as I made a face, but it'd been futile seeing as Ross was already back out the door and pacing up and down the hallway. Matty patted my shin in quiet comfort and gave me an apologetic smile before he gestured his head over towards the hall.

“Best go see what he wants.”

And all I could do was watch as Matty left, still chained to this hospital bed. Once the door had dragged close behind him, I found myself with literally fuck all else to do. So, like the adult I was, I threw myself back into my nest of pillows and groaned pathetically. Wishing I could do more than just lie here day in and day out.

—MATTY’S POV—

“I’m gonna fucking kill him, Matty.” Were the first words Ross spoke to him as Matty slipped out of the room, catching him mostly off guard.

Ross was hardly ever the aggressor. In actual fact, he was one of the most tolerant guys Matty had ever known. It truly took a lot to get him to crack, or even tell you to piss off, let alone this riled up. He didn’t actually think he’d ever been witness to Ross’s ire, but reckoned he could easily check that off the list now though.

Matty blinked for a moment then cast a chance glance back through the glass and towards his best mate. The girl who was currently holed up in a hospital room with a frown as huffy as it was prominent. It was hard seeing her like that, so broken. When in actuality, she was the toughest fucking person he’d had the privilege of knowing.

Cut deep.

“Right,” He dipped his chin and took a much needed breath before he ushered Ross a little farther down the ward, away from the room's entrance. Not wanting her to hear or see the state Ross had seemingly worked himself into, although Matty could already guess what the cause would be. “What’re you playing at? You can’t storm in here like that, mate.”

Ross groaned into the palms of the hands he dragged harshly over his face, tugging on his temples for a second before he dropped them altogether. His shoulders were still tense though, practically touching the lobes of his ears. 

“Yeah, yeah ‘course, sorry.”

Matty jerked his nod back down the hall. “No need for that, ‘cause you, man, are gonna be the one dodging all her questions when she ultimately starts asking what that was all about.”

Ross almost came very close to pouting then. Matty was sure of it, if only it hadn’t been for that fiery wall of anger he was still shrouded in. “Really? Alright. Fine, yeah fair. Deserve that much, I ‘spose. Just- I’m beyond fucking livid, mate.”

Matty’s brow pinched. “Why, what's happened?”

“What didn’t, you mean.” Ross scoffed, back to pacing in his big boots. Matty just hoped that none of the morning staff came to see what was causing the sudden commotion. They already seemed to hate the pair of them enough.

“Alright, mate. Just, I don’t know. Start with what’s got you so…” Matty shrugged a hand aimlessly towards his bearded bassist.

Ross tugged another hand through his long hair, loosening the bun he had it in by a tad.

“I don’t know where to start, to be honest. Maybe with the fact that I’ve tried everything. Fucking everything! Phoning, texting. Even passed by his a couple times. He won’t open the poxy door. Won’t answer Jamie or Hann either. I went over again this morning- saw some shit on Twitter last night so I reckoned I might find him there. Stole that spare key from you too, like you said, and tried using it on the locks but the prick’s only got the chain on. Latch too. So I didn't make it far.”

Matty was already chewing at his lower lip. Something he’d found himself doing more and more often as of late. Ever since that sodding fucking phone call, the one he’d almost missed. He could still hear George’s muffled cries now. The sirens. The pleads. Then the apology. 

His hands shook even as he recalled it all. Fucking coward.

His attention was swiftly brought back to the present when Ross started up again, only getting more and more irritated the longer his story went on.

“So, like the twat I am. I sat outside his all morning. Just managed to catch him dragging himself home, though. Don’t know how the fucker had gone and locked himself out from the inside but, well, it’s G ain’t it?” He said through gritted teeth, “Looked a right state, too. Still halfway to pissed and smelt a bit. I mean, is he deluded? She’s in here. Whilst he’s off, doing fuck knows what, out there! It’s an utter piss take, mate. Everyday she asks after him, asks if he’s doing alright, if things are okay. And he, he could not give less of a shit.”

“Hasn’t today.” Matty found himself mumbling, dark eyes casted out towards the lifts as a familiar itch passed through his veins. Which was convenient because just as Ross went to question him on it, Hann stepped out through the sliding metal doors. 

The man paused, catching sight of them just as the lift closed behind him. “What’s going on?” He asked with a furrowed brow.

“George.” Ross muttered with venom.

Whilst Matty sighed “Nothing.” at the exact same time. He simply shook his head dismissing it all when Hann approached them. “Where’ve you been anyway?”

Hann’s sharp gaze darted between the pair of them before he answered, “Was on the phone to Jamie most of this morning, then popped by to talk to Y/n’s boss. Lovely woman, actually.”

A real grin stretched its way across Matty’s face at the mention of Delia. “Isn’t she just?” He fawned.

Hann gave him one of those famous smiles of his and then proceeded to hold up a bag. “She mentioned she’d be stopping by again soon, but wanted me to bring this over.”

Matty’s attention dropped down to the bright bag, a prominent ‘Get well soon!’ engraved in gold on its side. “Nice of her. Did you get the stuff I asked for too?”

Adam rolled his eyes and moved his right shoulder, showing off the other bag, this one a duffle. “Yes, all here. Don’t stress.”

He went to reach for it when Hann’s eyebrows did a weird sort of dance on his forehead. Matty pulled a face at it and glanced over at Ross, who was still acting a bit aggy with his arms all crossed and nostrils still flared. Though Matty couldn’t fault him. He was still rightfully pissed off too.

“Tell me what’s gone on and then you can have the bag.” Adam bargained, receiving a pair of narrowed eyes in return.

“Drive a hard bargain, you do.” Matty huffed, falling back against the wall as he gestured outwardly towards Ross. “Was gonna tell you anyway.”

Hann merely hummed at him, dropping the bags between his legs as his head rounded on Ross. “What’s G done now?”

Ross’s jaw ticked and he went on another ramble, rehashing things to Hann in a bit more detail before Matty had to stop him.

“Where’s he at now then?”

“Passed out back at mine.” Ross told them, though he didn’t appear too happy about that fact. “Fucker had me drag him back to my car, wouldn’t move from the curb otherwise.”

Matty tucked his tongue between his front teeth, mind whirling. He hadn’t been to George’s yet, hadn’t wanted to leave the hospital let alone the place where everything had happened. He could only imagine what torment George has been faced with having to look at it day in and day out.

From what Ross had told them, the road had been fully blocked off until late afternoon the very next day with police patrolling and removing the vehicle from the scene. Matty grimaced at the thought of it all and listened to the quiet tones of Hann’s voice trying to calm Ross down. He deemed the moment as the easy access he needed to grab hold of the duffle and head back down the ward, deciding not to think too much about it right then.

Adam’s tut echoed and followed after him. Matty threw him a smug smile from over his shoulder.

Now it was time to get to work.

Part fifteen>

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