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yelena-bellova · 3 years

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Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Six

chapter five - Chapter Six: Ten Minutes - chapter seven

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam, Bucky and Zemo investigate around Riga for any sign of the Flag Smashers, Y/n and Bucky spend some unconventional time together.

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: spoilers for episode. 4, a little language, flirty Bucky (which is a warning in and of itself, Walker’s an asshole, Y/n is still a badass, sloooow burn, lil’ bit of spice 🔥

A/N: First off, I just want to thank everybody for all the kind messages/asks/comments you've left on this series. I honestly didn’t expect this kind of response when I started writing this and have been blown away with each chapter. Seriously, it means a lot! 🥰 Okay so I’m not gonna lie, this chapter’s a little slower than usual whereas next chapter is going to be...well, if you’re reading this you’ve seen the episode so you obviously know lol. But this chapter sets up some pretty big shit so it’s not useless, enjoy!!

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I felt like a bit of a romantic cliche as I threw myself facedown on Zemo’s living room couch, hot off the heels of my realization about Bucky. But seeing as we didn’t have any leads and the Super Soldier wasn’t back from his “walk,” I felt I had earned it. “Hey,” I felt the weight of a jacket land on my back, “Whatcha got going on in that head?” I chuckled into the pillow, if Sam could see the thoughts bouncing around my brain, he’d have his wings on in a flash and would be flying around the city hunting Bucky down. Luckily, Bucky wasn’t the only thing I was thinking about. I turned on my side to see him sitting on a barstool in the kitchen, “I don’t think I give you enough credit for what you do.” “What are you talking about?”

“I knew that avenging wasn’t some cushy day job but,” I swung my legs over the couch and sat up, “I never realized how hard it actually was and this isn’t even one of the harder missions!” Sam smirked and raised his brows, “An army of Super Soldiers isn’t enough for you? You want more?”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m just saying, you’ve faced a whole lot worse. I tangle with a couple bounty hunters and I’m gonna be aching for weeks,” I rose with a groan, eliciting a chuckle out of Sam, “Don’t get me wrong, I like what we’re doing, but I definitely underestimated how challenging it was.” “You’re doing a better job than you think,” Sam said, “I know yesterday was hard on you, but you’re handling all of the really well. I’m proud of you.” I made my way over to him and put an arm around his shoulder, “Still regret bringing me?” “Nah,” he locked an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side, “It’s nice having you here, it’s like having a little piece of home with me.” Since we were in grade school, Sam had been one of the only constants in my life and sitting in the middle of Latvia chasing down Super Soldiers, I had never been more thankful for him. I knew that becoming Captain America was out of the question but if ever there were a Cap that I would follow, it would have been Sam.

The front door and the bathroom door opened at the same time, revealing Bucky back from his walk and Zemo from his shower.

“Well, the Wakandans are here,” Bucky announced as he came to the center of the room, “They want Zemo. Bought us some more time.”

“Were you followed?” Sam asked, both of us unwrapping our arms from around one another. “No.” “How can you be so sure?” Zemo asked, staring out the stained glass windows.

“Cause I know when I’m being followed,” Bucky replied, coming to stand across from me on the other side of the kitchen island.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least,” Zemo said.

“Hey, you shut it,” Sam turned his attention to the Baron, “No one’s defending you. You killed Nagal.”

“Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened?” Zemo replied.

I leaned up against the island and squinted at the man, “There’s nothing to litigate, we all watched you shoot the guy.”

“Sam, Y/n…” We both turned to face Bucky, staring down at his phone intently. “Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.”

“What?” I said breathlessly, “Were there any casualties?”

“Eleven injured, three dead,” Bucky read the article, “They have a list of demands and are promising more attacks if those demands aren’t met.”

Zemo walked around the island to grab a pack of cookies, “She’s getting worse. I have the will to complete this mission. Do the three of you?” “She’s just a kid,” Sam said calmly, defending the young girl so many saw as a villain.

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there,” Zemo waved him off, “You’re clouded by it. She’s a supremacist. The very concept of a Super Soldier will always trouble people. It’s that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron…to the Avengers.” “Hey, those are our friends you’re talking about,” Sam stepped quickly.

“The Avengers, not the Nazis,” Bucky followed up with.

Sam continued, “So, Karli is radicalized, but there has to be a peaceful way to stop her.”

“The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals,” Zemo said, “Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her,” the room’s silence became a whole lot heavier, “Or she kills you.” “Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo,” Bucky spoke up, “The serum never corrupted Steve.” “Yeah,” I agreed, peeking over my shoulder at Bucky, “But it didn’t corrupt you either.” Zemo picked up a ring shaped cookie on his finger and pointed to Bucky, “Touché, but there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?” He popped the cookie in his mouth and shrugged, turning away from us to make further use of the kitchen.

“Well,” Bucky made his way to the living room, “Maybe we should give him to the Wakandans right now.” “And you’ll give up your tour guide?” Zemo asked, searching through cupboards.

“Yes,” Bucky answered harshly before sitting himself on the couch, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

“From my understanding,” Sam said, “Donya is like a pillar of the community, right? So when I was a kid, my TT passed away-“ “Your-“ Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, “Your TT?” “Yeah, my TT, yeah,” Sam replied plainly.

“Who is your TT?” Bucky annoyedly and confusedly asked. I chuckled at the exchange from beside Sam, “His aunt. The whole neighborhood had this big ceremony, it lasted like a week.” “Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya,” Sam finished.

“Worth a shot,” Bucky shrugged.

“Your TT would be proud of you,” Zemo said to Sam before tossing him a wrapped candy, “Turkish Delight, irresistible.” ——

We were out the door soon after and heading to Donya’s last known location, a refugee camp in the downtown area.

“Shame what’s become of this place,” Zemo commented when we arrived, “When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties. I knew nothing of the politics of the time, of course, but I remember it being beautiful.” It was hard to picture the beige building ever having been beautiful, the setting was so dismal and grey. It was filled with children and workers, refugees, who all collectively looked worn down. The GRC poster that hung on one of the walls that showed smiling families with their mission statement ‘Reset. Restore. Rebuild.’ was a stark contrast to what those words actually delivered.

“We’ll take a look around upstairs,” Sam said, gesturing to me before turning to Bucky, “See what you can find out and keep an eye on him.”

I left with Sam, climbing the quiet building’s staircase and wandering down the hall. Sam headed through an open doorway that led to a sewing room. “Hey, kid,” he called to one of them, “Excuse me,” he approached one of the only ones who hadn’t run out of the room at our presence, “You heard of Donya Madani?”

“Um,” the girl said, rising from her seat and making for another room, “No. Sorry, no.”

We stood there dumbstruck in the suddenly empty room, it wasn’t until Sam caught the Flag Smasher’s handprint symbol on a sewing box and pointed it out to me that the locked lips made sense. I took the lead and navigated through the crowded rooms, spotting another young person leaving at the sight of us. “Excuse me, do you know the name Donya Ma-“ The boy shut the door on me before I could finish my sentence, I turned to Sam who was close behind me. “Something’s not right,” I mumbled, walking in step with him further down the hall. We finally stumbled upon what looked like a classroom, one man crouched was next to a desk helping a kid and a table with two others who didn’t bolt at the sight of us.

“Excuse me,” Sam announced our presence, “Do you know a woman by the name of Donya Madani?”

The teacher stood to his full height, “We’re not refugees, for we have nothing to seek refuge from. We’re internationally- displaced persons, for what it’s worth, and we don’t trust outsiders.”

“No, I understand,” Sam stepped forward, “I’m not from here, but I have a pretty good track record of helping out.” “I know what happens when people say they’re going to help out,” the teacher tiredly stated, “Nothing. The Global Repatriation Council promised to send more teachers, supplies. That was six months ago.” “What’s your name? I can make a call,” Sam offered immediately, ever the helper.

“I know who you are, but I can’t trust you. I’m sorry,” the man dismissed him, grabbing his other two students and ushering them out of the room, “Let’s go.” The silence was sobering for us both, we may not have found anything about Donya but we’d certainly stumbled upon something of importance. And as we left the building with our heads metaphorically hung, I could feel that he was just as impacted as I was by it. “I didn’t realize it was so bleak,” I said as we went down the stairs, “The government’s done a great job of painting a different picture for people like us.”

“That could be said for a lot of things,” he replied, “But no, I didn’t think it was this bad either.”

We rejoined Bucky who was watching Zemo intently as he sat in front of a grouping of kids, a pile of candy in between them. “This is starting to feel like a dead end,” Sam commented.

“The hell is he doing?” Bucky accompanied.

“And why in Latvia does nobody raise an eyebrow at a stranger offering kids candy?” I observed as Zemo stood, approached the kids once more and came back to us. “Cute kids,” he smiled, leaving the three of us to share an unconvinced look after.

——

We returned to our hideout shortly after, defeated and all too aware of how fast the clock was ticking.

“Well, I got nothin’,” Bucky said as the three of us made our way to the couch, “No one’s talkin’ about Donya.” “Yeah, it’s because Karli is the one fighting for them,” Sam replied, “And she’s not wrong.” “What do you mean?” Bucky’s tone was low and exhausted, but I could have sworn that his eyes brightened for a millisecond when I plopped down next to him.

Sam sighed, “For five years, people have been welcomed into countries that have kept them out using barbwire. There were houses and jobs. Folks were happy to have people around to help them rebuild. It wasn’t just one community coming together, it was the entire world coming together. And then, boom,” he snapped his fingers, “Just like that, it goes right back to the way it used to be. To them, at least Karli’s doin’ something.” “He’s right,” I chimed in, memories of how the world was for five years flooded my brain, “Things were messy but they were…one. Everybody came together because we needed to, there was less room for segregation or prejudice. When things went back, the government made some really bad decisions. And for those of us who weren’t blipped, it was difficult to watch. I’m not saying that I support the Flag Smashers but I do understand why Karli’s doing what she’s doing.” “You really think her ends justify her means?” Bucky’s furrowed brows bounced between Sam and I, “Then she’s no different than him,” he gestured to Zemo who was making tea, “Or anybody else we’ve fought.” “I didn’t say that. She’s different,” I argued, tucking my legs under me and twisting to fully face him, “She's not fighting for word domination or something, she’s fighting for those who’ve lost everything. She’s just...misguided in her approach. ”

Zemo came and set the tray of cups and tea down on the table in front of us, a little too quiet. “That girl,” Bucky addressed him, “What’d she tell you?” The Baron kept up his silence as he thought to himself, eyes flicking between the three of us. “The funeral is this afternoon.” I blinked and awaited the rest of the answer, “That’s all you want to say?” “You know the Dora’s coming for you any minute,” Bucky stated, a bit of amusement in his eyes at the thought of the Wakandan warriors taking him away, “In fact, they’re probably lurking outside right now. Keep talking.” “Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli,” Zemo hummed, “I prefer to keep my leverage.” Exasperatedly, I looked over to Sam who looked just as done with the Sokovian royal as I was. Bucky rose from beside me and circled around to face Zemo, ripping the glass heeled in his hands and launching it at the wall, it shattered upon impact. “You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky growled, I had to ignore the pit in my stomach that developed anytime Bucky’s voice reached a low decibel.

Sam and I were up and ready to deescalate the situation, him stepping behind Zemo and me placing a hand around Bucky’s metal arm. “Take it easy,” Sam said cautiously, “Don’t engage him. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” I turned in towards Bucky, the close proximity allowing me to talk softer. “He’s not worth it,” I muttered, his head moving slightly in my direction as I spoke.

“Let me make a call,” Sam said, walking off and slapping Bucky on the shoulder as he left.

My loyalty to Bucky prevented me from leaving until I knew he was alright and wouldn’t pummel our only lead to a pulp. As his stare lessened in intensity, so did my grip till my fingers ghosted over his bicep. “You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo awkwardly asked. “No, you go ahead,” Bucky answered with contempt, walking away with me following close by.

“So what are we supposed to do?” I asked as Bucky and I walked through the luxurious apartment, “Sit on our asses until he decides to give us breadcrumbs of information?”

“He’ll talk, eventually,” Bucky grumbled, “Even if I have to make him.” Why I was finding this side of him attractive, I couldn’t make sense of. Shoving that aside, I took the more practical approach. I gripped his arm to stop him from going further, “He wants to screw with your mind, don’t let him.”

Bucky bit down on his bottom lip and dropped his line of vision to the ground, silently admitting that I was right. There was something so strange about how easy him and I had become around one another so fast. I could level with him now like I’d known him for ages and he’d actually listen to me. The oddest part was that it felt so natural.

“Now,” I dropped my hand from his body and went to place it on my hip, “Sam’s on the- ow!”

“What? What is it?” Bucky jumped to attention, his metal hand instinctively reaching for my arm.

The pain had stemmed from my abdomen, radiating down to my waist. I pulled up the hem of my shirt and looked down to see an ugly purple bruise on my side. “Shit,” Bucky mumbled, bending down but quickly popping back up with an innocent gaze, “Can I…?” “Yeah,” I quickly replied, watching him crouch down to get a look at the injury, one of his metal fingers running over the colored skin with a featherlight touch. I prayed that he didn’t take notice of how my breath hitched when the cool Vibranium made contact with my body.

“How did you get this?” he asked with a laser-like focus on my stomach. “Must’ve been from yesterday in the shipyard,” I eked out, we were in close enough proximity that he was starting to cloud my head, “One of the bounty hunters had me in a death grip at one point.”

Bucky shook his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he rose back up. “I’ll be fine, it’s just a bruise,” I said, pulling my shirt back down when a lightbulb suddenly went off in my head, “Although…” “What?” “I think I’ve got an idea on how you can work out your aggression and this,” I pointed to my side, “Can happen less.” I made my way down the hall, trying to find the right door that would lead to the right room. Turning each knob, I finally found a set of french doors that led to a terrace with a view of the beautiful city. Expecting and correctly guessing that Bucky had followed me, I spun around to face him. “Teach me how to fight.” “Are you kidding?” Bucky’s scrunched in disbelief, “No.” “Come on,” I pleaded, “I think we can both agree that I’m lacking in combat skills and if we’re going to end up fighting more Super Soldiers, I need to be more prepared than last time. Plus,” I pointed a finger at him, “You’re pissed and you need to let it out.”

Bucky scoffed, “I’m not going to let it out on you.” Rolling my eyes thoroughly, I created a force field to separate the two of us, “I’m pretty sure I can handle myself. But if you want to let me get my ass kicked, that’s fine…”

I watched as he let out a single chuckle, “You’re really gonna be like that?” “Yes,” I replied, trying to contain my smile, “I’m really gonna be like that.

He took leisurely steps toward me and started to circle me. I turned with him to keep the force field between us, smirks spreading across both our faces. “Alright, fine. As long as you promise not to go full throttle on me,” he gestured to the hands that had blue energy flowing from them.

“Fine,” I thinned my eyes at him, absorbing the force field back into my body, “But you better keep that arm in check.”

We separated from each other and I walked to my corner of the terrace to remove my jacket. When I turned to see Bucky doing the same, my eyes fell to his fit torso that was threateningly to bust the seams of his tight black t-shirt. In the Latvian sun, you could see the outline of each muscle of his chest and each vein that bulged in his arms was highlighted. Since the first time I’d gotten close enough to admire him, I’d had no shame in admitting to myself that Bucky was attractive. Now that I was actually starting to fall for him, there was a nervousness that came with appreciating his roguish good looks. I shook my head and dragged my gaze away from his body, trying to focus on his eyes as we walked towards one another. Not that I was any better off, they were just as enticing as the rest of him was… “Do you know how to punch?” he asked, I held up a fist and he examined it, “Okay, so that’s a no.” He placed his hands on my hips gently as to not disturb my bruise and turned me around, “Bring one of your feet back and out a little,” he instructed, I listened and he took a step back to accommodate me. “Now,” his hands moved to lightly grasp my arms, “Tuck your elbows into your body.” I swallowed hard as I followed his directions, his chest was now almost flush against my back and it was more than distracting. The closer Bucky and I got, the more muddled my thoughts became until he became the only clear one. With him pressed against me, his hands gently holding my arms and his breath fanning my shoulder, it was a miracle I could remember my own name.

“Now squeeze your abs, as long as it doesn’t hurt too much,” he said softly, inching a little closer as if to make sure I could hear him properly. Goosebumps I hoped he didn’t see erupted across my skin, I did as he said and ignored the pain it caused me. Bucky could have given me any instruction and I’d have followed, I was completely under his spell.

His hands left me and he came around to stand in front of me, “When you swing, you want to move with your whole body. You’re gonna push off with that foot,” he nudged my furthest ankle with his boot, “And turn your hips with it, but don’t over exaggerate or else you’ll lose your momentum. Your hand,” he took my improper fist into his palm and positioned my thumb below my fingers, holding onto it as he looked back up, “Should look like this.” My lips parted as I watched him mold my hand to his liking, my heart rate picking up as our eyes met. Bucky let go and held out his flesh arm to act as my target, smirking once again, “Alright, give it all you’ve got.”

I swung my fist forward and met his hand, only succeeding in making contact and nothing more. For a second I forgot that I was fighting a Super Soldier.

“Good,” he commended me nonetheless, “Again.”

I readjusted my stance and brought my fist forward again, I still couldn’t move him.

“Again.” Smack.

“Again.”

Smack.

“Again.” Smack.

“Again.” With hardly a thought, I focused my energy out of my fist as it collided with Bucky’s palm and sent his arm back in a mist of blue. I pulled my elbows back into my torso, gasping at what I’d done but not entirely unhappy with the results. Bucky looked just as surprised, turning to me with widened eyes and his pouty lips shaped in an ‘o’.

“Did you know you could do that?” he asked.

“I don’t know, the idea just came to me,” I answered, “Can I try that again?” Bucky held out his palm again and I repeated my attack, his arm jolting back upon impact once again. “I think I may have just made this a fair fight,” I said slyly, challenging him with one raised brow.

“I think you’re exaggerating a little,” he shot back, I could see the mischievous gleam in his eye that accompanied his words.

I shrugged innocently, “Guess we won’t know until we test it.”

Bucky’s wandering tongue darted out to the side of his mouth as he smiled, “I only taught you how to punch, but alright.”

He took a step closer to me, slowly and playfully putting out a hand towards me to act like he was going to attack me. I held my hand up and built a small force field to block him. Going a little faster, he raised his metal hand and I repeated the action of shielding myself. We kept going until him and I were moving across the terrace with me creating force field after force field to block Bucky’s attack. When my back hit the ledge, I shot up into the air and landed a few feet behind him.

“Is that a fair fight?” Bucky asked as he approached me.

“No, it’s not,” I sighed and lowered my head, looking back up with a smile, “It’s actually a little too easy.”

Bucky started throwing punches, me blocking each one with my palm radiating energy to lessen the impact of his hits. I was so focused that I didn’t see him lift his foot until I had landed on my back with a groan after he’d swept my leg. He pinned me, holding my arms above my head and gripping my wrists so I couldn’t attack. I squirmed a little, unable to move underneath his weight that simultaneously crushed me and sent a thrill through me.

“You were saying?” he smirked, our faces only inches apart and his lips just a little too alluring to continue ignoring. This was a different Bucky than I had become used to, he was playful and flirtatious. We were getting down to who he really was when we weren’t dealing with such serious circumstances.

Taking away the temptation to close the distance between our mouths, and eager to point out he’d made a mistake in pinning my wrists, I lifted and aimed my hands at him, firing two blasts at his shoulders. The grip he had on me was lost as his full weight landed on me, I quickly locked my legs around his and used my energy to flip us so Bucky landed on his back with me on top of him. I pinned his hands at his sides, two steady blue streams flowing from my fingers. Bucky tried to wrestle out of my hold to no avail, I took great joy in leaning over him and giving a shit-eating smile.

“You’re right,” I shook my head, “It’s not fair.”

Bucky breathily chuckled and stopped fighting, instead letting himself be defenseless underneath my body. At some point, the laughter and grins faded and the reality that I was straddling Bucky became very real. If I released my hold on his hands, I wondered what he would do. Would he scurry to lift me off of him and leave as quick as he could? Or would he dare to put his hands on my waist like he had in Madripoor, pulling me into him as close as he could? Nervously, I absorbed the energy back into my fingers and freed him, his hands laying limp where they were but his blue eyes held no intention of looking away. We rested there, trying to catch our breath and not daring to make a move that would shift either of our bodies or the moment. “Bucky, Y/n, where you at?” I heard Sam’s voice drift down the hall.

Stolen moments, that was all I could get with Bucky. I had only just discovered how I felt about him, I didn’t know how to handle it but I knew that when I did get time with him, it never lasted long enough. I unhappily levitated off of him and landed on my feet nearby, leaving him without a word to open the door and find Sam.

I looked down the hall and spotted my brother walking down the hall in search of us. “Hey,” I called, he turned around and changed his course, “Any leads?” “Sharon’s got access to a satellite, she’s gonna keep an eye on the camp,” he said, “And Zemo agreed to take us out to meet someone who’s got information on the funeral. Where’s Buc-“

Bucky appeared at that moment, his jacket back on and covering his build while carrying mine in his hand. He handed it to me, his eyes darting up to meet mine with some sort of meaning in them, “Did he say where he’s taking us?” “No,” Sam answered, “But at least he’s talking.”

The three of us headed down the hall and out to the living room where Zemo was waiting on us like a parent waiting on their children to get ready to leave. We left and entered the city once again, me trying to keep a little distance between Bucky since my cheeks were still burning. The memory of how he’d felt under me was still all too real and I needed to have a clear head for what was about to go down.

We hadn’t been walking for more than ten minutes when an unfortunately familiar voice sounded off in our vicinity. “Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” “Ah, how’d you find us now?” Bucky called across the street, John Walker and Lemar Hoskins hurrying down a set of steps toward us. “Come on, you really think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Lemar replied.

“No more keeping us in the dark,” Walker seethed, “You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” I over animatedly shrugged my shoulders and looked between Sam and Bucky, “You told us to stay out of your way so that’s what we did. Can’t have it both ways, Walker.”

“And he broke himself out technically,” Bucky answered Walker’s original question.

“Oh,” Walker was practically spitting with rage, “This better be an unbelievable explana-“

“Hey,” Sam stepped in and placed a hand on his chest, “Take it easy before it gets weird.” Walker promptly stepped back and took a breath.

“I know where Karli is,” Zemo offered, stepping to the side along with Bucky and ready to continue on our path, before being stopped by Walker.

“Well, where?” “All we know is, it’s a memorial,” Sam answered, “So we’re gonna intercept her there.”

Zemo gently moved Walker’s hand off of him, and led the way, Bucky, Lemar and I following. “That means civilians,” Lemar said, “High risk of casualties.” “We won’t let that happen,” I replied, “And if they’re fellow funeral goers, neither will Karli.”

“All right,” Walker said, joining us along with Sam, “We’ll move in fast, take her by surprise.”

“No, I wanna talk to her alone,” Sam protested. As much as I wanted to stop my brother in the street and question the validity of his sanity, we were a united front against Walker and I couldn’t drop it. I’d wait for my turn to voice my concern.

“I’m not losing her again,” Walker pushed back. “Look, the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable,” Sam argued, “If there was ever a time to reason with her, it’s now.” “What?” No. Wait, no! No! Stop. Hold on,” Walker jogged to get ahead of us, his sidekick following suit, “Stop, okay? I think we’re way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.” “Sam, you walk in there cold, she could kill you,” Lemar may have had a problem with the plan, just like Walker, but he came at it from a different angle. That I could give him credit for.

“And if I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die,” Sam countered confidently. “You’re gonna let him do this?” Walker addressed Bucky, “Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone?”

“He’s dealt with worse,” Bucky replied, “And he’s not my partner.”

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay?” Sam stated, stepping around us to stand in front of Walker, “This is my wheelhouse.” “Yeah, I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this is a bad idea,” Walker shot back. “Wait, John,” Lemar stopped him from going any further, “If he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.”

We stood, anticipating whether or not we’d have to fight harder or if Walker would agree to let Sam handle the situation his way. He scoffed and shifted his weight between feet before turning to Zemo, “We’ll deal with you later.” “I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion,” Zemo replied and gestured down the path, “My associate is just up ahead.”

We looked ahead to see the same little girl the Baron had been offering candy to earlier in the day. I fell in step alongside Sam and lowered my voice, “Are you sure about this?”

“Did you act like you agreed with me just to piss of Walker?” he asked, equally quiet.

“…Maybe…”

He pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket and we bumped fists, “Trust me, this is our best option.”

The five of us watched Zemo approach the child, handing her something and guiding us to follow where she was leading. She took us to an older factory, bringing us in through the back door of the boiler room. “Karli’s in there,” Zemo said.

Sam broke from our group and headed for the doorway while Walker slammed Zemo up against a furnace. “Hey,” he called to Sam, “You got ten minutes,” he handcuffed Zemo, “Then we’re doing things my way.”

With Sam gone and me not there to protect him in case things took a turn, there wasn’t anything to do but wait. Walker paced, Lemar stood and Bucky stared. I was leaned up against the brick wall that held Zemo, trying not to think of all the ways the plan could go wrong. Karli was young, quick to help but also quick to fight and the sight of Sam may be enough to trigger her into attacking before listening. But Sam wasn’t usually someone to get cocky about something he knew he couldn’t handle and I trusted his judgement. I just wish that I was trusting it in a less dangerous situation.

“Y/l/n.” I turned to Zemo, “Huh?” “In Madripoor, you said your last name was Y/n Y/l/n,” he continued in a hushed tone so nobody else would hear.

“So? What’s so interesting about my name?”

Zemo paused like he had just come to some conclusion I wasn’t going to be made privy to. “It simply sounds familiar.”

“What does that me-“ “Hey!” Walker exclaimed, staring me and the Baron down, “What’re you two talking about?” Zemo turned away from me like we’d never been speaking, the confusing conversation dissolving in the already tense air. “Nothing,” I lied, pushing off the brick wall and brushing past Walker, “That concerns you at least.”

I landed at Bucky’s side, he nodded his head towards Zemo and looked back to me. “What was that about?” “I’m not sure,” I answered, there was something unsettling about how Zemo’s gaze rested on me, “But I don’t think it was nothing.” We waited in another thirty seconds of silence before an antsy Walker spoke up again, “No, no, no, no, no, this is a bad idea.” “It hasn’t been ten minutes John,” Bucky said, “Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that,” Walker looked over his shoulder at us angrily, “Don’t patronize me.”

“Then don’t start whining because you’re getting fidgety,” I replied, annoyed with his lack of patience, “Sam knows what he’s doing and if you let him do it, this could all go a lot smoother than Munich.”

He walked away, staring at the wall in deep thought before coming towards us. “I’m goin’ in,” he stated, punctuating his words with a punch to the shield.

Bucky stepped forward to block his path, I quickly stuck a hand in between their two bodies and created a force field to further state our point. My apprehension about leaving Sam to handle himself had lessened when he’d assured me he had it under control but I wasn’t sure if there was anything that would get Walker to back off.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it?” Walker grumbled, staring Bucky down, “All that serum runnin’ through your veins. And you,” he skimmed his hand over the unpierceable shield I’d made, “With that X gene of yours. Your brother,” he pointed at Bucky, “And your partner need backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?” The images that Sharon had planted in my head were filled in by Walker, it suddenly became all too easy to picture Sam’s lifeless body on the ground. Just like the one I’d left in the ship yard. No, Walker was not in my head, I wouldn’t allow it. The man who had threatened me with the accords, who waved the name of Captain America around like a free ticket to do whatever he wanted. He could manipulate whoever he wanted, except for me. “You’re not getting past us, Walker,” I firmly stated, bringing his widened eyes to me, “Sam’s got this.” There weren’t many people that stood up to Captain America without a second thought, and the irritated expression on his face reflected that. “So that’s how it’s going now? You’re giving the orders?” “If it means giving Sam a better chance of ending this, then yes,” I countered, digging my heels further into the ground.

He looked me over, debating his options, “Fine.” After observing him for a few cautious seconds, I dropped the force field and stepped to the side of Bucky. No sooner than when my hand fell to my side did Walker shove past Bucky and storm up the stairs, the two of us quickly rushing to draw him back. “Walker!” Bucky shouted.

I aimed my hands out to pull him back in, the blue energy barely leaving my fingertips when Lemar came up behind me and pulled my hands down to my sides. I tried to wrestle out of his grip but he didn’t let me go until Walker had safely gotten up the stairs to a point where I couldn’t see him. “Are you serious?!” I cried as Lemar shot ahead of me up the stairs leaving me to follow pathetically. “Captain’s orders,” he replied over his shoulder as we hurried to catch up to the heated, impatient joke of a Captain.

“Karli Morganthau, you’re under arrest,” I heard Walker announce, spotting Bucky taking the stairs two at a time behind him.

As I entered the room, my hopeless eyes met Sam’s surprised set. Karli was just as shocked, the redhead asking Sam if it had been the plan all along to bring us in. Lemar pushed in front of me and Bucky, acting as a barrier to prevent us from interfering any more than we had. Bucky attempted to shove his arm away just as Karli landed a punch to the shield, sending Walker and Sam flying back into a table. I used my energy to shove Lemar back, freeing Bucky and I to jump into the fight. Bucky bolted after Karli who was making a run for it while I helped Sam to his feet. “We said ten minutes!” Sam exclaimed, glaring at Walker’s retreating form.

“I tried,” I said as we made for another staircase to try and catch Karli on the other side of the building. We went through a series of various halls, there was no way to make heads or tails of which way was right. Sam tugged me and led me up another set of stairs with no luck in finding her. “Shit,” I mumbled. On the opposite side of the landing was Bucky, looking just as confused as us. “I lost her,” he said defeatedly. “This place is a maze,” Sam panted.

I took a look at our surroundings, spotting a window and quickly forming an idea. “She could be out of the building by now. Bucky,” I ran to the nearest window, “Help me out.”

Catching on quick, he raised his metal arm and landed a whopping punch, shattering the glass and leaving a gaping hole. I took a few steps back and took a running start, ignoring the sounds of Sam’s protests and diving out the window. I threw my hands out to my sides and expelled energy, ceasing my fall and allowing me to shoot up higher in the air. I landed on the building’s roof, taking a look at the city below me and trying to spot Karli’s mop of red hair. I stayed atop the ledge searching until I heard gunshots from inside the building, dropping and flying back in through the broken window immediately. My blood ran cold with fear, Sam and Bucky weren’t where I had left them. I rushed down the closest hall, hearing a commotion from a room somewhere in the building and praying desperately that they weren’t in the middle of it. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been so relieved to see the two of them as when I’d spotted them after turning a corner. Upon hearing my boots slapping against the ground, Bucky and Sam turned, both their faces showcasing the same relief. “Thank God,” Sam breathed, waiting for me to catch up with them before tearing off again.

We ran through the building until we found the one hall we hadn’t been down yet, we entered to find quite the scene. Walker was standing over an unconscious Zemo, vials of the super serum smashed on the floor and no sign of Karli.

“What did we miss?” Sam asked, still a little breathless from our chase.

I wasn’t a naturally angry person, but the irateness I felt with John Walker was enough to make my face warm with rage. He had proved that arrogance and impatience were his main modes of operation. He had no problem giving the orders but following someone else’s lead was nearly unbearable for him. His eagerness to jump headfirst into battle may have served him well in aspects of his career, but in this case it had ruined everything.

“You said ten minutes,” I gritted out, staring down Walker from our position on the stairs. His eyes didn’t carry an ounce of remorse for what he had done. Without another word, I turned on my heels and stormed out of the room without waiting for Sam and Bucky. We’d come so far only to lose to a completely preventable situation. I’d never worked with Steve professionally, but I knew that he would have never have sabotaged a mission because of his ego. Just one more reason why John Walker could never truly be Captain America.

----

A/N: I find myself having to reel myself in when writing Walker or else I’ll let my hatred of him show through a little too much lol. Let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged :)

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale @wanniiieeee @asoftie4bucky @edencherries @i-reblog-fics-i-like @ttalisa @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess @rinaispunk @weirdowithnobeardo @felicityofbakerstreet @godlypotterwhodiaries @eternalharry @voguesir @mizz-kraziii @okayline @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories @nicklet94 @intricate-melody @aesthethickks @stumbleonmywords @simplybarnes @21bruhs @lostinwonderland314 @superbookishhufflepuff @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @zozebo @fandomxreaders @kittengirl998 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @i-know-i-can @x-judyjude-x @thebi-valkyrieofvalhalla @buckverse

#bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x platonic!reader #marvel imagine

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nctsjiho · 3 years

Text

JiHo vs Geo (NCT JiHo’s Duality)

Fan Video by ‘NeoVerse’ on Youtube

(indented text = comments added by the maker of the video, in this case NeoVerse) So we all know JiHo. One of NCT’s rappers and dancers. She’s always portrayed as cool, confident, intimidating, so for today, let me introduce you to Geo.

The cute, easily embarrassed 00 liner, whom everyone in NCT (and the fandom) has a soft spot for. Though whenever Geo comes out she’s usually getting teased by the boys...

^^ Let’s get started!

[JiHo Vlive ft. Taeyong & Taeil 190407]

“So we’ll be in America soon for the second leg of the Tour.” Taeyong said. “Are you excited?” JiHo asked looking at the oldest of the three. “Yes, we’ll finally get to see all our overseas fans. And we’re even going to see Johnny’s home-”The 3 of them looked off camera once loud noise started to fill the room. The voices obviously belonged to Dream. Taeil and Taeyong shrugged it off and Taeil continued to talk. The noise wasn’t too loud, but it was still a bit distracting non the less.

JiHo continued looking off camera every once in a while. It looked like she finally made eye contact with one of the young boys, because she squinted her eyes a bit more and suddenly the room became silent besides for Taeil talking. The girl gave the tinniest nod before looking back at the camera and joining the two other men in their conversation.

In the background you could hear a door close just after a few silent “sorry’s” were heard.

JiHo: the NCT member who can make Dream, who never stop talking, shut up without even saying anything. The power this girl has

[‘NCT - RESONANCE Pt. 2’ Departure Ver. Jacket Behind the Scene]

Loud cheers filled the echo-y room as JiHo walked in. All the 23 boys were already in their spots, but the girl had walked in late (for an unknown reason). She hides her face in embarrassment as she approaches Renjun who was standing on the far right side of the bleacher-like structure. “JiHo needs to go up one level!” One of the staff members yelled.

JiHo gets up on the structure a hand helping her up, it was Johnny. As she stands up completely she notices she is standing between Johnny and Sungchan. “Please tell my I’m not standing between these two giants.” She looks in the direction of the staff, face full of concern. Her comment causing almost everyone to laugh. “Why? Don’t you like standing between us?” Johnny teased poking at her side. She squints her eyes at the taller man, triggering a few more laughs out of him.

The director instructs the girl to stand between Ten and Shotaro on the other side of the structure and she quickly walks over to them, almost tripping on her way over, where Ten greets her with a big hug. “Ah so cute~” Mark cooed, looking at the embarrassed girl.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 4]

It’s really no secret that JiHo is a very athletic person. She works out and tries out new sports for fun. So even though she might not have the strength as her male colleagues (well most of them, sorry Kun), she was definitely one of, if not the most, agile members in the group.

When they announced the next game, JiHo’s team mates had look slightly worried. The vault was already at 1.70 m which was already taller than her, though JiHo would never openly admit that.

It’s only when the vault is at 2 m high that the members realise the smaller girl had cleared all the previous heights successfully. She’s now standing at a couple meters away to sprint towards the vault.

“We didn’t expect JiHo to make it this far.” Defconn commented. “She’s definitely an ace.” Kim Hwan, the other presenter, added.

We’re talking about the same JiHo right? This girl can literally carry her members on her back!

“Wow~ Look at noona’s face.” Jisung pointed out to his team mates, who unfortunately didn’t make it. The girl had her eyes set on the vault. Completely focused she put up her fist. “JiHo, challenge!” Her first few steps were big but slow, then her pace started picking up, until she had reached the vault.

“Ji-” The camera picks up the shocked faces of the boys as her team members jump to her aid. JiHo was laying on her back on the blue mat, the vault in pieces all around her, with one of the pieces almost making its way towards the girl’s face. Thankfully because of the concerned boys’ fast reflexes they helped avoid a big accident.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked now that they were standing again. “I think I can make it though...” She furrowed her brow, shocking the boys with her comment. Despite all the boys’ protest JiHo was one again standing at the starting position to run towards the vault.

Taeyong stood up in a panic. “She isn’t going to try again right-” “JiHo, challenge!” And without a second of hesitation she ran towards the vault, 5 boys ready to save her in case she was to fail again. Once her feet hit the mat she looked at the camera with a smirk on her face and a fist in the air. She had cleared the vault.

“I swear to God her confidence is going to be the dead of me.” Taeyong let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 2]

JiHo’s challenge was to do a rope skipping routine. Since she has been rope skipping for as long as she can remember, it wasn’t really that hard. The challenging part came from that she had to learn a specific routine and execute it perfectly within 10 minutes.

After 3 minutes she had the short routine down, some moves were slightly more difficult, but nothing she couldn’t do.

“JiHo, challenge!” She yelled out. She pulled of the routine effortlessly. Or that’s what she thought at least. Everyone had jumped to their feet, cheering JiHo on those who never saw JiHo rope skipping completely in awe at what she just pulled off. “Let’s go-” Mark had yelled, just before the lights turned red. “Mission failed.” The deep voice boomed over the speakers. Everyone stunned, they could’ve sworn she just did it right. But after review JiHo realised her mistake.

She stood closely to Jaemin’s seat who asked her if she got the routine down now. JiHo nodded while she absentmindedly swung around the jump rope. A particularly hard swing causing the rope to round her back and hit her left arm harshly. The loud sound of the rope hitting her skin was accompanied with a wince at the sting. Jaemin had jumped up asking if JiHo was okay. The girl had slapped her hand against her reddening skin before she started whining that it hurt.

Jaemin took the opportunity to baby her. “Aigoo~ You need to be more careful.” He said rubbing her arms, before pulling her into a hug. The boys who sat a bit further away had started laughing once they realised the girl was okay. “Jaemin-ah, they are laughing at my pain.” She pouted and the boy pulled her closer, glaring at the other members.

Yangyang... I saw you laughing at our baby girl...

[NCT JiHo notices SASEANG at the Airport]

In the shaky fan video with not much context you could see NCT at the airport. The reason why they weren’t moving unknown. The only thing you could tell from the first half of the video was that NCT was standing in the middle of a clearing in the airport with tons of fans surrounding them.

Jeno and JiHo were standing next together, being filmed by the fan. She kept on glancing in a particular direction. At some point Jeno leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she shrugged in response, her body seemed a bit tense.

After another couple of seconds went by, JiHo suddenly starts moving in the direction of the fans - the same direction she kept glancing at. This caused the fans to start screaming and a body guard to quickly try and catch up with her.

It isn’t clear what’s being said, but JiHo exchanges some words with a male fan. She then puts her hand out, the fans around her going quiet. The man hands JiHo his unlocked phone and she starts scrolling through it. With a bitter look she hands the phone back, grabs her own, takes a picture of the man and then leaves. Once she reaches the boys again an indifferent expression remains on her face. Jeno’s hand massages the girl’s shoulder but she doesn’t seem to relax until they are able to leave the airport.

Apparently the male “fan” was a sasaeng and on his phone were pictures he had taken of JiHo and the rest of NCT (?) during their overseas schedules in places no fans were allowed. She deleted them and taken a picture of him for the security, possibly also for the authorities.

[NCT 127 fan event @ Capitol Records]

After everyone had gathered on stage, it was time for each member to introduce themselves. JiHo was last in line and when she started talking in her mic, it was clear that her mic did not work. The girl looked back at the staff, but they didn’t seem to notice directly, so she turned to her right and grabbed Doyoung’s mic. He didn’t let go of it, causing the girl to lean in towards Doyoung and start introducing herself. “Hi! I’m JiHo.” She giggled slightly embarrassed, which emitted a chorus of “awe’s” from the fans.

Later on in the interview, now with a working mic, the question “Who is the most attractive member of the group?” had been asked. Some members had answered already but the interviewer asked JiHo’s opinion. “Uhm...” She hummed as she looked over her members. “I think everyone is very attractive.” She gave as her final answer which left everyone a bit “disappointed”. A fan interjected, yelling, “We all know you think it’s Jungwoo!” JiHo’s face turned the brightest shade of red as she looked at the audience in shock. Everyone at the event had burst out laughing and JiHo sank back in her chair.

[NCT JIHO Choreography | More Than That (Lauren Jauregui)]

JiHo’s know as a bit of a tomboy. I mean she hangs out with dudes pretty much 24/7. So when she dropped this video, let me tell you, we NCTzens were shook.

As the music starts playing the lights slowly turn on. JiHo is sat in the middle of a dance practise room in a chair, head tilted slightly backwards, exposing her neck.

The camera comes closer and JiHo makes eye contact with it, her mouth is slightly agape and she stands up. She hits every beat, dancing in her own, cool style, nothing very girly or sexy, until a certain line comes up.

“I got a situation, I can tell you wanna know“

She brings her clasped hands up, stretching them out above her hand, before pushing her right hip out circling it from the front to the side. She lets her hands drop back down.

“How you can take an honest girl and turn her to a”

Her facial expression turns more cocky. Her left hand goes down the side of her body onto her left thigh while she moves down to an almost squat position. Her right hand comes up from her chest to her neck at the end of the line where the singer lets out a gasp.

Turn her to a WHAT? Explain Lim Jiho! Into a what exactly?!

Stan twitter of course went crazy at the sight of their tomboyish, innocent girl choreographing such a seductive dance. Besides those two lines, most of the dance was just her usual boyish hip-hop style. But the whole vibe of the song, along with her facial expressions had caused such beautiful chaos. Also JiHo in those sweatpants and a sports bra/crop top was something NCTzens weren’t ready for yet.

[Weekly Idol ep 410]

This is probably my favourite JiHo moment ever. For a bit of context. The people sitting down on pillows have to come forward for the members they want to be partnered with and show their charm. After everyone has “seduced” the sitting member, they must close their eyes and if their rose gets picked they are partnered up.

The reason I like this so much is because JiHo was already pouty since Doyoung and Yuta were both seducers as well so there was no chance of partnering with them, but she really wanted to team up with either of them.

After Mark danced to ‘Pick Me’ (and JiHo did everything in her power not to cringe, she failed), he turned around to see which members would come over. When he turned around he saw 4 faces. Those of Doyoung, Jaehyun, Yuta and JiHo. The last two he didn’t expect to come.

One by one they all had to explain why they picked Mark. “Dude, honestly I just don’t want to be picked last.” The girl said in English sending Mark into a fit of laughter. They than had to show show their charm through singing, dancing or acting cute. Once it was Doyoung’s turn, he started dancing to ‘Pick Me’, just like Mark did earlier. “Oppa! I wanted to do that.” She said annoyed to which Doyoung looked shocked. “You were going to dance to a girl group song?” She just rolled her eyes.

Once it was her turn the host had encouraged her to dance to ‘Pick Me’ like she initially planned. “If you do it better than Doyoung, you will have a better chance.” One of the boys had reasoned, that was enough for JiHo to stand up.

She patted down her sweater before getting “in the zone” and she started dancing and singing the song as if it was her own. Some of the boys started cringing at the unfamiliar sight of their female member acting girly and cute, willingly. Then the camera shows Yuta and Jungwoo who were clearly enjoying the show and Taeil smiling fondly as well.

omg this is peak Geo behaviour <3 How is she this cute? Is she really a member of a mostly male group?

Cut to JiHo getting rejected right after Doyoung gets rejected. They sit back next to Johnny, the girl’s head resting on Doyoung’s shoulder. “I guess dancing to that song wasn’t the way to go.” She sighed.

This time it’s Jungwoo’s time to choose a member. He danced to ‘Havana’ to which everyone joins in. Once seated it’s time to start the next round. When Jungwoo faced the group again everyone, including JiHo has come forward.

Johnny danced and Jaehyun and Doyoung sang for Jungwoo, then it’s the girl’s turn. “JiHo! Aegyo!” Haechan yelled and before she can say anything, Yuta agrees. She looks at Jungwoo with a sigh. “Oh it doesn’t look like JiHo really wants to team up with Jungwoo.” Doyoung teased. JiHo quickly dismissed his claim, poking his side which had him twitch.

“Oppa... I think we could make a really good team.” She said with her face rested in her hands. Than she points at her heart. “It would really hurt right here if you reject me.” At the end of her sentence she stands up and throws her rose away. Everyone is dying from laughter or second hand embarrassment. The girl takes a few deep breaths to calm down and she sits back down.

ngl even though that was very cringy, how is JiHo this good at aegyo? I’m sure Jaemin would love it...

They have to make eye contact with the Jungwoo now and once it’s JiHo’s turn she locks eyes with him with ease. Her eyes never faltering which intimidates Jungwoo a bit. “JiHo, you’re supposed to make a connection, not scare him away.” She swats Doyoung’s arm at his remark.

Guess what. Our poor girl was rejected once again

JiHo stands up with her cushion and walks back behind the line. “I danced for you!” She points at Mark. “I acted cute for you!” She points at Jungwoo. “And this is what I get?” The girl actually looks a little agitated which prompted in Jungwoo hugging her and apologising, but she pushes him away. “Whoever my partner is, he and I will end your team.” She threatened while raising her brow. But she only manages to look cute, because she still has a pout very evident on her lips. The tall boy cooed at her and patted her head before walking back to his chair.

Finally Taeyong takes his place on the seat. Once he turned around he could only see Jaehyun and Doyoung sitting back at the line, making a heart with their arms together. A look of despair washed over his face for a quick second before he realises JiHo wasn’t there anymore.

“Where’s JiHo?” He asked and the boys motioned him to turn around once again. When he does he finds JiHo holding her hands up in a heart above her head. “I’ve been rejected twice by those men there.” She points towards Jungwoo and Mark. “And now Doyoung has betrayed me as well. So please be my partner.” Her tone is slightly sad and Taeyong nods and pulls her into a hug.

My heart! :’( She wanted to be in a team with Doyoung from the start, how could he betray JiHo like that!

“Let’s win this!” JiHo yelled, a smile finally finding it’s way back on her face after she found a partner.

That was all for today’s video! Thank you so much for watching!

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Side Note: This post is inspired by a post by @nct-aria. They’re an amazing NCT addition blog, which I definitely recommend you check out.

#jiho.video #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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bts-hyperfixation · 3 years

Text

Her

Angst - unrequited

<1200

It had been six months since you last saw Jungkook. Your best friend had been away on the BTS world tour and unlike previous tours you had been unable to visit them in the middle due to work. Today was the day you were finally going to get to see him, and unlike the last time you were finally ready to tell him how you felt. You’d realised during their first tour how in love with Jungkook you actually were, your heart broke when he left. Every time he returned you were determined to tell him how you felt and every time you chickened out as you fell back into your usual routines and it made it so much harder.

This time you were ready, waiting at the airport with his parents, smile wide as you teeter anxiously back and forth on your feet. Your heart flutters when you see him disembark from the jet behind the other boys. Mouth dry as you hold yourself back from sprinting into his arms. His hair is longer now, bangs tumbling into his eyes, the back sectioned into a small bun. He looks gorgeous. It takes everything you have to tear your eyes away from his adorable bunny features. A glint of colour catches your eye and that’s when you see… her. She is tucked under his arm, protected from prying paparazzi, but she’s still there. Out in the open, a clear declaration of a serious relationship. Jungkook wouldn’t risk being caught with a girl like that if he weren’t serious about her. Your heart shatters as you watch him whisper in her ear. You can’t hear it but your sure the giggle falling from her lips is adorable and dainty, nothing like the snorts that come from you when he tells a joke.

It takes everything in you not to turn and run. You blink back tears and force a grin back onto your face. Now is not the time to break down. Now is the time to smile graciously and welcome her into your life. Tears can come later. Mourning the loss of something that was never really yours can be saved for the privacy of your own bedroom. The knife in your stomach twists as he sees you. The light in his eyes brightening in a way you always fooled yourself into thinking meant something more. He introduces her to you and his parents. Your sure he must’ve told you her name, but it doesn’t compute. She springs herself into your arms, overexcited chatter falling from her about how much Jungkook has told her about you. Your grasp around her is weak as you try hard to like her. Its hard not to compare yourself, she’s shorter than you, cuter, but her voice is shrill and her embrace too bony. Once she releases, Jungkook wraps you in another hug, one that feels much more like home. You shiver as he lets go, much faster than he usually would. He returns his arms to her and leaves you cold. You try not to let it bother you, instead choosing to say hello to the other members as Kook and his parents catch up on the missing months.

As soon as your home you wrap yourself in a blanket and refuse to move. Sad movie after sad movie make their way into your Netflix queue as you cry out everything you have. Your only solace is the standing dinner date you have with JK that has always been just the two of you when he comes home.

The next day you are still puffy from the crying, but you try your best to put on a smile knowing that even if he isn't really yours you would have him to yourself for today. It would give you the time you needed to come to terms with the new normal, push away your feelings and learn about her. As always, he turns up dead on noon, your favourite takeaway in his arms and lopsided smile on his face. You move to close the door but you are stopped by a delicately manicured hand.

“Hiii” her voice is too high pitched. It runs straight through you. You turn and offer her a fake smile; all you can manage after being blindsided. You fumble your way through dinner, making light, polite conversation. You learnt they met in America. An adorable meet cute in a coffee shop. You nod along as she gushes and clings to his bicep. He glows at her praise. It sickens you. You push the food around your plate as he feeds her from his fork. Eventually it’s too much and you excuse yourself to the kitchen.

Struggling to breathe you throw the remainder of what used to be your favourite meal into the trash and slide down the counter on to the floor. Dry sobs wracking your body as you fight off a panic attack.

“Y/N?” Jungkook followed you into the kitchen concerned. Never having seen you so quiet, especially not with him. He crouches down at your side and rubs an arm across your back. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“What do you see in her?” you answer, unable to hold back your real thoughts. Jungkook looks confused, not registering the intent behind your words. You sigh and push yourself of the floor. You face him before taking a deep breath. “What do you see in her that you never saw in me?” the tears well in your eyes before you can stop them.

“What do you mean that I never saw in you Y/N?” he had always been dense but part of you had believed he realised more than he let on. You scoff at his confusion and turn away from him. Loving him and not seeing the same emotion returned in his deep eyes was proving too much all of a sudden.

“What’s so special about her? Why her? Why not me?” he remains silent, knowing there is no good way to answer that question. “You’re in love with her.” It’s a statement but he still feels the need to confirm your suspicion.

“Yes.” It’s a short response but it’s all either of you need to know.

“And you’re happy.” A tear rolls freely down your cheek as you walk to the other side of the kitchen island needing space from him.

“Yes.” Again, he is monosyllabic. There are no words he could possibly say to ease the situation. You mean everything to him, just not in the same way she does. The two of you stare at one another for a little while until her voice breaks through the silence.

“Kookie? What’s taking you guys so long?” it’s a whine. No other way to describe the screech that cuts through the silence, like nails on a chalkboard.

“We’ll be right back love.” He calls. Love… the pet name causes a wave of nausea to hit you. Bile rising in the back of your throat as you look at the man you’ve loved for so long, loving someone else.

Masterlist

From these prompts - requests open until Nov 29th

#bts fic #bts imagines #bts angst #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jeon junkook

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

3 Anti LO Asks

1. (partly from my comment, but I think it's worth sending you it like that as well)

I remember how a while back I saw someone recommending this comic. They were saying it was so romantic and progressive. Then I saw some critique, but I thought because it was fresh, maybe I could read the beginning. I mean, after all, it seemed to have a fan base. After reading the first few pages I had only one question: Who thought it was cute to begin with? I mean, the comic starts horribly filthy and Hades is such a creep. God, this makes me so angry.

Imagine reading this comic and having experience with trauma (the r*pe scene) and such creeps as Hades, it must be painful. Literally the only scene handled decently is when Persephone hides in her thoughts as Apollo does that to her. The story line itself is being used as a plot point which only comes up to make her and Hades closer. It's bullsh*t.

I'm writing myself and therefore I've done research on topics of trauma etc. Persephone wouldn't have went to Hades. She probably would have, if he was her close friend, but they've known each other for a too short time. He's a man and I know a lot of women who started avoiding men after such horrible incidents (which is totally understandable, so don't you think forcing them back into such acquaintances is a good idea). Also, her (and btw, Hades's) trauma is being forgotten about constantly. Back to Hades, we have numerous scenes with the creepy oversexualization of youth, or even teenage youth (Persephone being almost fully naked and wearing revealing clothing she doesn't even chose herself).

This comic was horribly problematic from the beginning, I wish people could have seen it right away.

2. Why IS it called Lore Olympus anyway? Punderworld makes sense, because it's taking place mostly in the Underworld and is more light hearted and fun. HxP Ficlets, I assume, is named such because they're little short bite sized stories dealing with Hades and Persephone. Queen of the Dead, well, that's obviously going to be centered on Persephone as a character. Lore Olympus, though? Lore is defined as, like, the collected information of everything that's known about a fictional world (history, culture, important figures and events etc), right? And Olympus is a location in the comic... but the main bulk of the comic is spent in the Underworld Corp and not much has happened to establish lore aside from snippets like the stuff with Kronos, Ares, Hera, Persephone's rampage (haven't gotten there myself but I know it's coming) and the tour of the Underworld (to which I *will* give some props in them remembering that the River Acheron exists and what happens to souls who can't cross, that's actually accurate IIRC?).

3. maybe that school anon is right, but I do find it suspicious how apparently HxP just happens to have this modern and feminist version of the myth that aligns perfectly with what modern readers what and support and yet no one ever actually says who or where this supposed version is from, they just go quiet as soon as someone (or multiple people) ask to see this proof. Are we to believe that for thousands of years, even predating Hesiod and Homer in the 800s BC, that this version was lost to time until some random tumblr kid found it in the mid 2010s? Because even going through actual published literature, the only times “Persephone went willingly/hades isn’t bad” are published are not from classics academics or Greeks passing down their stories, it was (white) women in America who just wanted to tell a sanitized version of mythology to their daughters and that they just made it up. I wish there was a nice, non-assault having version of the myth too, but it’s disingenuous to claim this perfect version exists and never actually showing the proof. Just because it feels good to imagine if doesn’t mean it actually exists.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical

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tiesandtea · 3 years

Link

I met two members of London Suede, Brett Anderson and Mat Osman, in the lounge of a major New York hotel. They were at the beginning of a four-city tour of the U.S. in support of their newest release, Coming Up on Columbia Records. I got a chance to talk to them about songwriting, performing and who they think can write a good song. Brett did almost all the talking and never took his sunglasses off. Hey, he's a rock star; he doesn't have to. This was my first time interviewing a British band and I couldn't escape the feeling of being Rob Reiner in Spinal Tap.

An interview with Brett & Mat by Dave Levine for Urban Desires, May 1997. The rest of the article under the cut. (x)

London Suede, or Suede as they're known in England, is at the forefront of the new Brit-Pop explosion that includes bands like Oasis, Blur and Pulp. They write lush poppy songs reminiscent of Bowie in the late seventies. As with many of the new British bands, success in America is hard won. They released their first record, Nude in 1993 and it went #1 in England but didn't make much sound on this side of the Atlantic. Why? well Brett thinks he knows, so read on.

UD: So have you guys been to New York a lot? LS: Yeah, we've been here quite a few times. UD: So what's the difference between London night life and New York? LS: I don't know really. I think every city in the world is pretty much the same, isn't it? I mean there's no difference between New York, and London. Everyone likes to think that they live in the biggest, baddest city in the world. London's just as big and bad as New York and Rio de Janeiro is just as big and bad as London. I think at this point in the twentieth century everyone is so well connected and the world's just become one big place... got tramps sittin' in the street and sex and sleaze and stuff like that. It's all the same, isn't it? UD: Except for the bars in London close at 11:00. LS: Yeah, but there are after-hours places. UD: What's your favorite place in the world to play? London? LS: Probably Thailand or Scandinavia. UD: Why? Because the crowds are crazy, and they just love it? LS: They're mad, especially in Singapore. They sing along with every word. UD: What about New York? To me, New York crowds are jaded. LS: Yeah, they are a bit. Last time we played here it was shit. I can't really get my hands around the mentality. I don't really know how to put this. I mean, I don't want to be offensive. UD: Go ahead be offensive, it makes good copy. LS: New Yorkers want to be shouted at or they don't respect you. They tend to assume that quietness equals weakness, which it doesn't. That's an assumption that I don't think anyone in the world makes. The first show we did here was really boring and the second show we were going through quite alot of bad times with the band. We were having alot of internal arguments and it was a real low point in our relations. We were so fucked up with each other, we absolutely fuckin' hated each other... I don't know how to put it.... UD: New York probably loved that. LS: Exactly, it came across in the gig. It was a real wild gig. UD: I read in your press release that when you first started playing, people hated you. Is that true? LS: (Both laughing) UD: Critically too, and then at some point it changed. Did you do anything? LS: No we just got better, that's all there is to it. We always were going against the grain, and so when you're doing something that is going against the grain and you're not very good at it, people hate you. When you do something against the grain and you're good at it, people start thinking it's something special. UD: So it was just experience, then? LS: Experience of playing live, learning how to sing and how to write songs.

UD: I want to give people here in the US that don't know much about you some background. How did you get started? LS: No one really fuckin' cares anyway. UD: ... Okay. Why do you think it's hard for modern British pop bands to break into the U.S.? LS: I know exactly why that is, 'cause the American music industry is obsessed with categories and things. And we aren't that happy with being categorized. In Europe we're just a pop band. We're #7, and George Michael is #5. You know, we're just a band. There is a song on the second album called "The Wild Ones." When we first played it for Sony they were doing somersaults. We thought it was like #1 and they took it to radio stations, and they couldn't get it played. They couldn't figure out if it was a love song or a rock song by a band with a bunch of guitars. We took it to alternative and they thought it was too mainstream, and we took it to mainstream and they thought it was too alternative. It's never been my desire to be neatly sectioned into some little box. Then you lose any mystery, any danger, any X factor that you might have had, and I don't think that many bands in Europe are happy being categorized like that. UD: Your press release touted you as the best lyricist of your generation-- LS: --I wouldn't believe anything it says there-- UD: --do you have any problem living up to that? LS: Do I have a problem with that? Yeah, I don't think it's true. I don't think anyone is the best lyricist of a generation. I should burn that press release. It's been the source of so much inflammatory rubbish. UD: What inspired you to start playing? LS: We just loved music and wanted to be in a band. LS: I wanted to be a song writer. UD: What songwriters do you admire? LS: Kraftwerk, Lennon and McCartney, Pet Shop Boys. UD: What do you think of Billy Bragg? LS: I think he's got a big nose. UD: (Laughing) I guess that would be 'not too much'. LS: Naw, I think he's alright. I like some of his love songs. UD: Yeah, he does write good love songs. LS: It's like Bob Dylan; I think all these political writers aren't as political when they are writing love songs. I think their political stuff stinks. Bob Dylan's political songs are so fucking one dimensional, and the same goes for Billy Bragg. UD: So you don't believe in the folk, socio-political commentary song? LS: Yeah I do. I just don't believe it's effective when it's put in that crass category. I don't think any of Bob Dylan's political songs were that moving. UD: ... What about "Times They Are A Changing"? LS: Yeah, I guess. UD: What about Elvis Costello? He's a guy who writes political songs. LS: Yeah I like "Shipbuilding." That's probably the best political song ever written. It goes beyond politics, and touches on the human consequences of politics, which I think song writing has got to do. I don't think you can just put numbers and manifestos within a chord sequence. I don't think it strikes a chord in the human heart. I think to actually say something to people you've got to say it with emotion. That's why I think that "Shipbuilding" is one of the best political songs.

UD: What's the worst thing about being on the road? LS: Standing in a pool of someone else's piss when you're on a fucking bus on a three-day journey. UD: Is there a story that goes along with that response? LS: No, that's an everyday occurrence. UD: What do you guys think about Tony Blair? LS: I think it's fucking great. I think it's the best thing to happen to England in a couple of years, wonderful. UD: In the United States they compare him a lot to Clinton. LS: A politician can never be one hundred percent great. I think a politician, as long as he inspires confidence in a positive way, then he's a good politician. And I think Blair and Clinton both do that. UD: What kind of press does Clinton get over there? LS: He gets good press. UD: He probably gets better press over there... LS: ... I'd rather see someone like him than some rejuvenated old skeleton like George Bush. You know what I mean? Some old man that looks like they've been revived, you know, dug up from the dead. UD: If you could just sit at home and write songs, would that satisfy you? LS: I don't think so, it's not boring enough yet to do that. There is part that is mundane. There are some low points but then there are some extreme highs and those highs can inform your writing. I think the point of it all is to actually let things inform other things, and let the whole thing become one big process. UD: Do you guys all get along on the road? LS: We've had fights in the past but not in the last couple of years. Although maybe we should start. LS: There is an idea. LS: Maybe I'll punch our bass player. UD: Head butt him? LS: Yeah, I want to give him a good head butt. LS: I might give him a hug. UD: No, don't do that. New Yorkers won't like it. Don't do the hug thing. Don't be nice or anything.

#suede #brett anderson #mat osman #coming up era #i thought i had posted this before but it seems i didn't?#anyway here it is :'DD

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sxveme-2 · 3 years

Text

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Five: The One with the Tour

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2476

Scott Harvey was a manipulative man. He knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted and was never one to take no for an answer. He'd do whatever it took to ensure he had people wrapped around his finger so that he could snap his fingers and have what he desired in his hands at a moment’s notice. And Lily fell for that. She became the next in a long line of women who were eating out of the palm of his hand, all because he promised her the world. He promised her security, happiness, and peace. Instead, she got fear, chaos, and emotional trauma. The exact thing she was terrified of. He used her anxiety against her, used the fragility of her mind to keep her trapped in his web like a fly.

She was sort of thankful for Mary. she was a sweet woman, the two got along and were pretty amicable. Lily knew if she needed anything, Mary would help out, and vice versa. Because you can have a messy marriage, but keep a healthy relationship with the wrecking ball that destroyed the thin wall that still stood. Lily was grateful for Mary because she was able to open the blonde’s eyes to see what was going on. The web of lies that Scott had caught Lily in, like a spider, finding its next meal.

And every time she saw him, saw that sideways smile and forehead creases, all of the emotions he caused caught up to Lily in a ball, and took up camp in the middle of her throat, rendering her speechless for the majority of their brief conversations. Which is where we pick up, in the hallway of Scott and Mary's apartment building, Scott holding his daughter, Leila, in his arms. something Lily didn't believe she had ever seen her ex do with their son.

"Traffic was insane...sorry I'm a little late." Lily mumbled, her broken eyes darting everywhere, in an attempt to keep them from making contact with the deep-set hazel of Scott’s iris'.

"Don't apologize. I'll never complain about spending a bit longer with Hunter." Scott said, his voice still as soft as a marshmallow. Lily couldn't help but wince ever so gently as it floated into her ears, sending a rush of adrenaline and nerves to her heart, picking up its pace.

"Mom!" a young boy’s voice called before bursting past the older man, almost knocking down his mother, gripping onto her waist.

"Hey kiddo," Lily smiled, hand running through the blonde locks atop of her son’s head, smiling gently as he hid his face into her side. turning her attention back to Scott, she gave a weak smile, "Thanks for letting me pick him up early. my parents are coming down for dinner."

“No problem. Say hi to Abel and Alicia for me," Scott smiled, causing a shiver to run down Lily's spine. The idea of saying that Scott said hi made Lily sick to her stomach. Her parents despised the father of their grandson, for good reason. As far as the Osborne parents were concerned, Scott was a dead man, "See ya, buddy."

Saying a quick goodbye, Lily and Hunter found themselves back in the car as quickly as the conversation that just happened. Hunter was quiet at first, waiting for Lily to regain her composure for the second time that day. Her forehead rested on the leather of her steering wheel, deep breaths escaping her lips as her fingers wrapped around the wheel. A few moments later, Lily relaxed back into her seat, turning on the car.

"So Grandma and Grandpa are coming over?" Hunter asked, breaking the comfortable silence the mother and son had going on, "When did you find out?"

Lily tried her best to repress the smile the threatened to explode onto her face. She loved giving Hunter surprises. With everything the boy has been through, being able to see his face light up when he's faced with something unexpected was the only high she'd ever need. It was rare to see such extreme emotion out of Hunter, and let alone something as raw as the joy he gets with surprises. And this one that she had planned, it would go down in history. He would be talking about it for ages to come, for the rest of his life even. That's what Lily wanted, for him to create perfect childhood memories he'd be able to tell his kids in the future. To gather them up around the table at Christmas and pass stories around about how he and Grandma spent a day with Earth’s mightiest heroes and got to see where they worked. That was the goal of a parent, to make their child's days as memorable as they could.

"Oh the other day they mentioned it, but nothing was ever confirmed. I got a text this morning from Grandma about it," Lily hummed nonchalantly as she pulled out of the Brooklyn apartment complex, and turned onto the busy roads.

Connecting his phone to the Apple car play that came with the vehicle, Hunter spoke again, "That'll be nice. I know you miss seeing them sometimes. Long Island is so far away from Manhattan, why did you move away?"

Lily's smile grew wide, the dimple in her cheek creating a cavern of happiness at her son’s words. He was as intuitive as they come, and as observant as all get out. Truly, Lily believed herself to be one of the luckiest mothers in the world to be blessed with an angel-like Hunter. He was pure of heart and as sharp as a whip. He always picked up on Lily's microaggressions, and all of the small mannerisms she showed while in certain moods. She was never sure how he became as smart as he did, but doctors insisted it was because of her intelligence. That it carried on down to her son, and how he reflected her as a child. And Lily lived a loving and wonderful childhood, so hopefully, that too would relay to her son.

Reaching over to ruffle his hair, Lily let out a gentle sigh, "Well Hunter, I moved out here to the city with Auntie Gen when I graduated high school. I got into Columbia University, which was my dream school. So I came out here to study, while Aunt Gen was over in NYU, studying business. I moved out here for the opportunity, and I'm glad I did because you were the result."

Hunter let out a small noise as he acknowledged the story that his mother just shared while scanning Spotify for the best playlist. The two loved the eighties and nineties, so he settled on a premade group of songs from that era. The bass boomed throughout the car as the two began to belt out the lyrics to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. It was moments like these when Lily felt most content. Just her and Hunter, living their best lives together as they sang to oldies but goodies. Being able to see his eyes light up whenever they passed a cool-looking building or when they saw a cute dog or one that looked like Joey. Her favourite moment though, the cream of the crop is when he sings. Though not a professional, he always looked so at ease while letting his voice dance through the car.

About twenty minutes into the drive, he caught on though, "This isn't the way home. Where are we going?" his voice rang, turning down the volume of the Lionel Richie.

She had to think quickly. If he noticed the slightest of hesitation in Lily's speech, the surprise would be blown, and he wouldn't be surprised when they didn't stop at home. So, she did what she thought would throw him off the most, "We've gotta hit a grocery store on the way home. Aunt Gen needs something for the cafe and this is the only place that sells it near here. Is that okay kiddo?"

Nodding, he turned the music back up. This meant that he believed what she said. If he didn't, he'd press on further. Interrogating Lily until he got the truth out of her. He would make a hell of a lawyer in the future, due to the strange ability he had of getting into people’s minds. He was like Scott in that way, but different at the same time. He never used it to manipulate, or use people, but to find out the truth. Get the answers. learn. That was Hunter’s goal, not to make people the puppets in his little game. he was curious, that was all.

Shortly after the small conversation between the two introverts, Lily took the turn that would lead them straight to the compound. Her aged eyes glanced towards the world that sat in her passenger seat. He hadn't noticed yet, and Lily was thankful. It would be more exhilarating if he didn't realize until they went up to the door. Knocking on the door and having someone like Captain America answer? Now that was something that Lily would love to witness. To see her son's heart swell at the sight of one of his heroes answering the door. She could only imagine what he would say, and couldn't seem to fathom how he would react.

Pulling into the parking lot, Lily stopped the car and turned it off, capturing Hunters’ attention. He sat up in his seat and glanced out the window, a confused yet intrigued look masking his typical stoic facial expression. Stepping out of the car, Lily gestured with her left hand to follow her up towards the doors. Hesitantly, Hunter followed along, his shoes making gentle noises on the rocks and pebbles below his feet.

"Where are we?" he questioned, hand slipping into the fragile one of his mothers, "and why are your hands always so cold?"

Lily remained silent, simply walking up the stairs of the compound. Her neck craned to look down at the bewildered boy, who couldn't help but swivel his head around in an attempt to recognize his surroundings. But the only time he would have ever seen this place was maybe in pictures, so Lily was sure that she had gotten the surprise in the bag. That she was able to dupe the boy that could rarely ever be surprised. Now that would be an accomplishment.

Lily's free hand reached up and knocked on the grey doors in front of them, pursing and nibbling on her lips in an attempt to hide the mischievous and prideful grin that threatened to give away the present. She had been looking forward to this moment the entire car ride, hardly being able to contain the excitement that rushed through her veins at the idea of her son’s wildest dreams coming true. Well, his wildest dream would be to become an Avenger or any sort of superhero. But a mother could only do so much.

Voices rang out behind the door before it was swung open to reveal Sam Wilson. The man who had originally offered to take the eleven-year-old boy on a tour of the place, "Lily! you made it, was starting to get worried you two would bail on us," he teased, chocolate brown eyes readjusting to look down at the blonde boy beside Lily, "Hey Hunter, nice to see you again."

Her son’s hand had slipped out of her own, which caught Lily's attention. she looked down at him and felt her heart swell about a million times bigger than it already was. His smile reached ear to ear, cheeks growing to a rosy red and his pupils dilated to eleven. He seemed frozen, stuck to his one position on the porch step of the Avengers compound. Her frail hand tapped the boy on the back, urging him to respond and walk into the building.

"He's a tad awestruck it seems," Lily chuckled, taking his small hand into her own and walking past the threshold of the home, "It took me a bit to find this place."

"Privacy is key for us," a voice rang out from a bit away. Lily's eyes averted towards the sound and she spotted Captain America. The Captain America. Steve Rogers. Every girl’s dream man. He was even more gorgeous in person, and Lily couldn't help but feel choked up as she looked at him. The way his chest looked as though it was going to burst through the fabric of his shirt, or how she could see his sky blue eyes from eight meters away, "Glad you guys could make it. Picked a perfect day, everyone’s around."

"Why don't I take Hunter down through the compound so he can get the full tour," Sam grinned down at the beaming boy, "Will you be joining us, Ms. Osborne?"

Oh no. If she went, her mind wouldn't be able to handle it. The idea of walking around with her son in a place like this was already overwhelming. Feeling as though she should be able to do more to give him the luxury life he so badly deserved. Making him feel as though he was the king of the world. Not to mention, the entire place itself was a lot to take in. And with her anxiety already running high today, it would be better for Lily's mind and heart to wait out in the car or something. Plus, Hunter was with the Falcon, she had no worries.

"It's okay, you two go have fun, I'll wait in the car," Lily said, a tight smile pulling at the sides of her lips as she ran a thumb across her son’s chin, nodding for him to follow the superhero. And as if he was in a trance, Hunter followed Sam like a zombie, or may a dog following a treat. Either would work in this scenario.

"Oh no don't go wait in your car, come sit with us. I'm sure Bucky wouldn't mind seeing you again after your run-in yesterday," Steve smiled, making Lily's knees feel like they had miraculously turned into jello, "He's making blueberry pancakes for a part of the team."

Lily's mouth ran dry. Blueberry pancakes. Just like the ones she had gotten the day prior. The ones he had asked her about. Her cheeks grew hot as a magenta colour blush forced itself onto them, giving away the embarrassment and intrigue she had. It couldn't have been anything. He was just making blueberry pancakes. That's normal. It was an average thing for people to do. Especially when you've got nothing else to do. right?

"He knew you may have been coming, that's why he made them." Steve whispered as he offered his arm for Lily, beginning to lead her towards the kitchen.

So he did make them on purpose.

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darter-blue · 4 years

Note

bec, darling, would you do body worship from your prompt list for lil ol' me? 🥺😂😈

Hey there dearest. Well, Ali. I must apologise because this turned from Kinktober to whumptober. And to start its a bit more body horror? But it will work it’s way to Body worship I promise.

So here is part one of your Fic - Resurrection

Warning for Bucky Barnes recovering type anxiety and hurt/comfort

Bucky wakes to the sound of water running. The smell of wet earth and dead leaves permeate his senses as they slowly open to his surroundings.

He aches. From head to toe, his body aches. He needs to get his eyes open to properly assess the damage. But it sure feels like he's been hit by a tank.

Or he'd fallen from some ridiculous height… had he fallen?

Bucky's last memory is of the cold… of… fear.

Of Steve.

Steve

His memories are fleeting but he has something, an image, caught in his hand, and he curls his fingers around it to hold on.

Steve was in the train, they both were. Zola's train. And Hydra… and that fucking Canon of a gun, some Hydra tech, blasting a hole in the side of the train… and Bucky…

He fell… didn't he?

His eyes snap open.

He looks down to find himself lying on a damp, soft surface, definitely not the snow he's expecting.

He blinks into the mid-morning brightness, shaded by the structure above him, a jetty. The sound he's hearing is a river, a rocky shore line at his feet, dead leaves beneath him, trees behind him.

And he's… he's definitely not in Austria. Glancing around him it's all lush vegetation and rocky shorelines but there's something oddly familiar about it all and yet so, so wrong.

And as he looks down to check the ground he's woken up on (is there a bed roll, did he collapse here?) he catches sight of his outfit and then, by extension, his left arm, his left hand, and his brain freezes.

He doesn’t understand what he’s looking at but what he sees is… well it’s not good. It’s… his hand is... he wants it to be encased in some kind of metal glove. He wants this to be some elaborate costume. Steve gets to have an elaborate costume, maybe Bucky has one too. Maybe this is just the boys’ idea of a joke.

It doesn’t feel like a joke. Bucky tries to wiggle his fingers but something is wrong. They wiggle, but it’s not… it's like there’s a lag or… they’re broken, or he’s had some nerve damage maybe. And they’re not… they're stiff and twisted and they won’t do what he wants them to do and it feels stilted. It doesn’t feel right.

And he knows. Bucky knows. This is not a costume. This is his arm. Or…

This is what has been attached to him. In place of his arm. It’s not his… it's a machine.

And he’s waking up with it. In pain. In a strange place. With no idea how or why he’s here.

He needs to find Steve.

First things first, he needs to get up off the ground, but fuck. It hurts. His whole body feels like it’s been crushed by something. His chest aches, his head aches, his legs feel like garbage. His shoulder, his fucking shoulder is on fire. But focussing on any of this is not going to help him right now. He needs to get up. So he does.

He puts that pain in a box in the back of his mind. He uses a pillar of the jetty for support and he lifts himself up. And it's too much, for a second, it’s too much, and he vomits.

God, okay, he tells himself to just breathe. He breathes. And when he gets it together he walks. Carefully, gingerly, he walks to the trees and makes his way through them, using trunks to lean on as he passes. Letting the smell of the earth and the bark overpower the blood and the bile and whatever else it is on him he can smell.

He doesn’t know where his army uniform is. He doesn't know why he’s dressed in these strange pants with what look like black catchers pads on his knees. Covered in knives. No gun. There’s a belt and straps that don't attach to anything and no food. No rations. Nothing useful in any of the thousand pockets.

He tries not to speculate as he walks. It won’t do him any good to panic. He needs to figure out where he is. He needs to keep as quiet as possible (though he’s not doing a great job, with the limp and the dizziness) in case he comes upon Hydra or Nazis out here. Though… it all feels so wrong.

And he realises why as he gets closer to civilisation. It looks like farm land, but it’s not european farmland. The first building he sees is a business of some kind, the sign is in English and what looks like Native American, though the name doesn’t sound familiar (he notes with some positivity that both his vision and hearing seem to be as good as ever). It looks like some kind of national park. And no one is around. He doesn’t see or hear anyone. And necessity being what it is, Bucky moves closer.

Piscataway Park, the Accokeek foundation, appears to be a national park owned and operated by the US Department of the Interior. The US. The US of A. He’s in fucking America? He sits down for that information to sink in. And then gets back up to get closer to the visitor’s centre.

Which is empty. And pretty easy to break into with one of his handy knives, inside is food and water and so much… everything looks wrong. Bucky has seen some crazy shit fighting Hydra but this is all just… different and yet somehow the same as the America that he left behind for the war. Everything is so bright and clean and expensive. The prices on the food, on the signs over the freezer, it’s way too much. And the food itself, the packaging is so colourful. There’s so much writing… it’s all just… too much…

There’s a phone but it’s… there’s buttons where the dial should be. The handset is not even connected by a wire… and Bucky can’t use the damn thing anyway - he has no idea who to call… There’s no switch operator, just a dial tone.

He does find some less conspicuous clothes to wear. A t-shirt and some kind of hooded sweater to cover up his monstrosity.

He finds bathrooms, full of fancy looking equipment nailed into the walls, but there’s a sink, and paper towels, and a mirror, and fucking hell.

What happened to him?

His reflection is… jarring. His hair is long and rancid. He has a bruise under his eye and one on his temple. He has stubble. He didn’t have this much stubble when Steve pulled him out of Azzano. And he looks… bigger. His shoulders and his arms. Arm. His one arm.

But mostly he looks…haunted.

Well. he has just woken up in the wrong country, in what seems like the wrong year. With no idea what has happened to get him here. So that really makes sense.

He takes a good minute to remove the leather contraption he’s wearing as a jacket and stares at his chest in the mirror. It takes him a minute of staring to catch his breath because what he’s looking at, the reflection of his own body, it’s… horrific. It’s… a nightmare.

The skin around where the metal of the arm is fused to him is red and raw and painful. Covered in scar tissue. And it feels so heavy. It’s pulling at him, from the inside. Like someone has a hand inside him and is just twisting and yanking at chords of muscle, cutting into his bones.

His chest is bruised, but nothing seems damaged. It feels like broken ribs that have been healing for weeks. Though he knows he heals fast now. Faster than before the war for sure. Gabe was always questioning him about it. Never happy to just let it go.

And wow, okay, the muscle there is so much bigger that he remembers. Sort of like Steve’s, what he’d seen of it (tried not to look too hard, too much) the few times they’d been thrown into the same tent, or woken up from having rolled into each other camping out with the boys and washing what they could reach with freezing cold water from their canteens.

Bucky never mentioned it, because it made Steve uncomfortable, when people talked about him the way they did. About the size of him, the look of him, the strength of him. So Bucky let the changes fly over his head and he paid attention to the important stuff instead. Was Steve eating enough for his twice as big body now? Was he sleeping enough? He seemed plenty warm, Bucky could never quite get over all that nice new warmth (Bucky’s Steve, brooklyn Steve, had always been so cold, Bucky had had to force blood into that kid’s toes with his own hands too many times to count), but was he breathing good, did his back hurt, was he getting everything he needed?

Turned out Bucky didn’t need to worry about that stuff too much after Azzano (didn’t stop him, he just learned to hide it better).

Turns out Bucky has bigger things to worry about now.

He throws up most of what he eats. He keeps some of the water down, refills the bottle from the tap. He washes himself as best he can with what he has and dresses in the shirt and sweater from the visitors store, drags himself back out of the bathroom, and passes a stand of pamphlets on the way to the door.

And one of them catches his eye. It has dates on it. Tour dates, it says, for March. March of 2014.

2014.

Bucky has woken up in the future. Seventy years in the future.

He gets behind the store counter and finds more papers with the date on them. Everything he can find is dated up to december 2013. So maybe that’s when it is. Although it seems like the place has been closed for a while - so maybe it’s later than that.

Bucky sinks down to the floor and rests his head against the counter. He closes his eyes. Maybe if he sleeps again he can wake up back in 1945. And this is something that he and Stevie can laugh about. Maybe he can tell Stark about it.

Maybe he’ll find a flying car.

He can’t sleep anyhow. Everything hurts. He feels so sick. And hot. And cold.

After a while he gets up again and finds a map of where he is. Maryland. He’s not far from Washington actually, he could probably walk the distance in a few hours (maybe more than that - in his current state) and in the city he’d have access to more information. He could find out… anything. Anything that might help him figure out how he got here. Why he might be here, How he can get back.

So he has a plan. And that’s what his brain needs to push that pain away again. He can do this. He can stay on task. He can get information.

And that’s what he does. He sticks close to the road, but far enough away to avoid suspicion, or cars. (The cars! They don’t fly, but fuck are they fast, and big! And colourful!)

It takes him much longer than it should. But he gets there. He avoids the smaller towns because he won’t be able to blend in there, he avoids the smell of the food from the roadside restaurants which has him bringing up more bile. Sipping more water. He follows the not great map and makes the best decisions he can make in the moment to get himself across the bridge. And then another bridge. And then finally he’s in Washington.

It’s more than his senses can take. It’s huge. The buildings are huge. The roads are crazy. The people are everywhere.

It’s not that different from what he remembers, but just more somehow. He has the hood of his sweater up to cover his mess of hair, as much of his face as he can. And it's a very good thing. Because the first image that accosts him, from screens that cover a back wall of the first busy bar he walks into, screens with colour pictures, brilliant pictures, is his own haunted face.

It’s Bucky, this new terrifying version. And he’s reeking havoc. Shooting up a crowded street. He’s watching the pictures and it has him ready to vomit again, though there’s truly nothing left in his stomach, and he’s on his way to find a bathroom or a dumpster to do just that, when the image on the screen changes and it's Steve.

It’s Steve.

He looks dead.

He’s being lifted onto a stretcher, he’s being placed into an ambulance. Bucky uses his hearing, hones in on the newscasters voice to hear her say he’s being taken to a hospital. She doesn’t say which one.

So that leaves Bucky to figure out how many hospitals there are and just go to them all until he finds him.

And then the footage changes again and it’s Bucky again… and he’s… he’s shooting at Steve in the street.

Oh god, no. That’s not right. That’s not him. He wouldn’t do that. Maybe Hydra cloned him. Maybe the pictures aren’t real…

But he can feel in his gut that something is so very wrong

Oh god.

He needs to find Steve, he needs to get out of here, he needs to breathe. To breathe. People are starting to stare and he has to get out. He bursts onto the street and runs. To anywhere, he doesn’t know. His legs give out soon enough and he ducks behind a building to collapse.

He breathes. He keeps breathing until he starts to calm down. The nausea passes somewhat. The image of Steve lifted into an ambulance, being shot at in the street, is enough to shut the panic down. There is important work to be done, he has no time to fall apart. He needs to find Steve.

It takes him a few small thefts here and there, the minor break in of an unoccupied newsstand, to find a page of hospital listings and directions to follow.

It takes him even longer to find the right hospital.

But when he comes upon Medstar Georgetown University Hospital, the extra hustle and bustle, the armed men at the main entrance, he figures this has to be the place. Bucky pulls his hood low, (he’s had his metal hand kept securely slotted into one of his many pockets all night) and finds the easiest and least noticeable way to get inside through a huge concreted underground parking garage where the staff entrance is sitting completely empty of armed men.

Once inside he sticks to the crowded areas, watches the movements of the people looking the most military, they’re milling mostly around the third floor. At least they're looking after Steve better here than at the entrance. But Bucky will have to be more careful because of it. A hooded sweater and an indifferent attitude probably won't get him to Steve unnoticed.

He takes note of the people looking the most harried, the most like hospital staff. It's hard to tell the doctors from the nurses from the orderlies, they all seem to be wearing different versions of the same uniform. Almost like pyjamas. And this could work in Bucky’s favour. He takes his time to wander back down to the floor below and finds a tall silver trolley full of folded linens and clothing, he requisitions some of the pyjama like pants and a matching shirt and then from an unoccupied utility closet, finds a hair net to hide his mess of hair up into and blue gloves to pull over his hands. He squeezes his way to getting changed inside the closet, leaving the long sleeve t-shirt under the uniform to cover his metal arm and straightens it all out as best he can. He grabs a folder from a nearby desk, just like the ones he sees other hospital staff walking around with, no one is paying him any mind, and then makes his way back upstairs.

And from there it's a snipers game. At least an hour of watching and waiting, breathing through pain and nausea, until he finds his opportunity to get into Steve’s room. A man he recognises from the footage at the bar, footage of Bucky shooting at Steve, a man who had been wearing wings and flying, actually flying through the sky, exits the room and speaks to the guards before leaving for parts unknown.

And Bucky, who has passed the guards now a few times looking busy, passes by them now into Steve's room with a nod and one of his most casually trustworthy smiles (Bucky knows just how to use his face to get out of trouble - even as sallow and pale as he is looking right now). And he stops short at what he finds inside.

Bucky is all too aware of how much damage Steve can take in his new body. But this is…

This is terrifying.

His face is black and blue, bloody, swollen. Bucky might say unrecognisable, but it would be a lie. Bucky doesn't need to see Steve's face to recognise him. Bucky could recognise Steve by the sound of his breathing, by the smell of him. By the essence of his presence alone. Bucky would know Steve anywhere.

Did he do this?

Did Bucky do this to Steve?

His moment of indecision doesn't last. He's propelled forward by the movement of Steve's chest rising. By the flutter of his ridiculous lashes. He presses close to Steve, leaning over from his bedside, touching him gently with his flesh and blood hand, his own hand, to feel the warmth of him through the bedclothes, through the gloves.

A sigh of relief runs through Bucky at that familiar warmth under his fingertips.

And it's as Bucky stands by Steve's side, hand flat against his chest, face just inches from Steve’s, that those bright summer blue eyes Bucky knows so well blink slowly open. His head turns just a little to look up at Bucky and his cracked, bruised, bleeding lips spread into a smile.

'Steve?' Bucky whispers, 'Oh thank god, Stevie.'

But something in his tone hits wrong. Some kind of desperation maybe, because Steve’s smile is waning. A hardness is flooding his expression. The more conscious he becomes, the angrier he looks.

He pulls back from Bucky, just a fraction. An inch at most. But it's a chasm to Bucky, that distance. And Bucky pulls back too, instinctively, removing hishand from Steve’s chest.

Steve looks at him, at as much of Bucky as he can see from the position he's in, and then to the room around them. 'What is this?'

‘Steve?’

‘Who are you?’ His eyes are flicking around the room like he’s looking for clues. He’s panicking.

'It's me, Stevie, it's Bucky.' Bucky uses the calm voice he always needed to bring Steve back from an episode. ‘It’s me.’

'No.'

And that hurts. That cuts into Bucky like a blade. This is his Steve, he knows it. But maybe… maybe in the future Steve doesn't know him? Doesn't remember him?

He steps back a little and takes the net from his hair. 'I look different, I know,' he says, working to keep his breathing even, to keep the stress out of his voice, 'Something… something happened to me.'

And Steve is looking at him. Watching him. Bucky lifts his chin, tries to let Steve see him. Looks him in the eye and hopes, prays, that Steve can see him in there. 'Bucky?' Steve finally whispers, reaching towards Bucky with an aborted movement, 'Buck?' He says louder, slipping as he tries to sit himself up in bed.

‘It’s me, it is me,’ Bucky says, placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder, trying to discourage him from moving and dislodging the cacophony of tubes that seem to be connected to him and a million pieces of flashing, beeping equipment.

Steve looks down at the hand on his shoulder, the metal hand, not really Bucky’s, and Bucky reaches down to slip his real hand, his right hand, over Steve’s where it rests on the bed. ‘It’s really you?’

And Bucky wants to cry at the relief in Steve's tone. But it scares him too. 'Oh god, Stevie' - his breath hitches on Steve’s name - 'oh god, what happened to us?'

'Its okay, Bucky, it's okay,' Steve is shushing him, has reached his other hand over to cover Bucky’s where it covers Steve’s, 'It's not your fault, it wasn't your fault.'

'Wasn't my fault?' Bucky asks, not understanding.

'Hydra, any of it. What they did to you. What you did. It wasn't you.'

(Hydra. It's always Hydra, isn't it? Whenever he closes his eyes he can feel them waiting there in his nightmares. Of course they would be torturing him still. All the way into the future).

‘What they did?’ Bucky asks again, and then hears Steve’s words, remembers the film stock from the screens at the bar, ‘What I did?’

‘You don’t remember?’

'I don’t really remember much,’ he says, shaking his head like he can jog something loose, find something hidden, ‘How did we get to the future, Steve?'

And Steve is looking at him. His eyes wide. He's working himself up the bed, up to a sitting position - despite how painful it must be. 'What do you remember, Bucky?'

‘I…’ Bucky looks at Steve, at the raised eyebrows, at the clenched jaw, the tight fisted grip he has on the sheets under Bucky’s hand, ‘I remember the train,’ he says, swallowing, trying to fit his horror into a small, sealable box, ‘I remember falling,’ he looks aways from Steve for the first time since he entered the room, ‘I remember your face, getting further and further away.’

Steve’s breathing has ticked up. He’s doing that thing he does to hide his short sharp breaths from Bucky, but this is not an asthma attack, this is anxiety. This is worry. For Bucky. ‘Buck, it’s okay.’

‘I woke up on the side of a river, in a national park, not in Austria, in America, Steve, and it’s twenty goddam fourteen,’ he’s whispering and it’s painful, he’s got no control over the words, they just come right out of his mouth, like more bile, ‘I woke up in the future Steve, the future! What happened, why was I shooting at you? Why was I shooting at everybody? What did they do to me?’

Steve is reaching up one of his giant hands to cup it around the back of Bucky’s neck, squeezes it, kneads his thumb into the pressure point below Bucky’s ear. Bucky just leans into it, leans into Steve’s fingers, their weight around his neck. Leans into that comfort. ‘Bucky look at me, listen to me,’ Steve turns his laser focus to Bucky’s eyes and holds him firm, ‘You weren’t you, when you were shooting at me, you were compromised-’

Bucky dreads to think what compromised means, especially the way it sticks to Steve’s tongue, like he can barely get the word out.

‘-But, Buck, we need to get you out of here,’ Steve looks around at the rest of the room, at the door, at where he’s probably sure the guards will be standing, ‘Sam and Nat will be around somewhere, hopefully, and I can probably get them to help us, but nobody else can see you, okay?’

Bucky is nodding, he figured as much anyway, but he doesn't want to interrupt Steve, not when he’s so spooked. And Bucky can hear the flying guy on his way back, can hear him talking to the guards outside, and quickly adjusts the net back over his hair, tucking it away. Steve must be able to hear him too, because he’s moving his hand down from Bucky’s neck and back to the bed.

Bucky feels the absence of it like a blow.

And when the door opens Steve holds out a hand to the man who freezes at the sight of Bucky. Looks to Steve and puts his hands up. Lets the door close behind him and doesn’t take his eyes of Steve and Bucky.

‘Steve?’ the man asks, doesn’t elaborate.

‘It’s okay, he’s friendly, he won't hurt us,’ Steve is saying, calm and even, like he’s talking to a skittish animal, ‘Sam, don’t do anything, just hear me out.’

Bucky wants to shrink into himself. Wants to disappear for putting that look on the man, Sam’s, face. ‘Okay,’ Sam says, his voice low and rich, his arms loose and by his sides, ‘You have ten seconds.’

Bucky is pretty sure that won’t be enough.

#stucky fic #bucky barnes recovering #hurt/comfort #angst #4k words #my fics #my writing #whumptober

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cara-terra-pace · 4 years

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Rich Neighbors Au Part 3: Bye Bye Miss Parisian Pie

Part 1 Part 2 The Gabrieling Procrastination Art Rich Neighbors Vine Animatic

-Oh my watermelon kids

-they are finally in America!!!

-First stop: Trash City!

-oops sorry NYC, sorry, they just sound the same when I say them out loud so I get them confused sometimes :)

-(I’m kidding New Yorkers don’t kill me please)

-okay, okay, getting off topic.

-so they’re in New York

-they’re just kind of wandering and they end up running into the Elmos.

-Mari was almost pulled into a hug with one and Felix had to drag her out of the way, saving her from the creep

-they then immediately booked it to a restaurant, hoping that would give them a bit of a reprieve.

-Hard Rock Cafe was the one they picked, Nino’s choice, obviously.

-Marinette gushed over the mini milkshakes for like ten minutes.

-someone ended up recognizing them. They took a picture, posted it on twitter and now BOOM

-every single one of their fans and customers know exactly where they are.

-but ANYWAY

-they’re in nyc, why not go to a broadway show?

-Six. They go to see Six. Don’t @ me, I like six and I thought Marinette and Nino would both enjoy it

-Mari is LIVING for their outfits.

-Nino is also loving every minute.

-They’re in the front and Nino is basically grinning the whole show but during Heart of Stone you can see him tear up a bit.

-Felix actually enjoys it. He shoves all the thoughts of historical inaccuracies out of his head and mostly just listens to Mari ramble about the outfits.

-Adrien vibes with Seymour honestly. And Parr. And basically all the queens.

-Nathalie likes the show too, mostly because it’s a nice break for her and the songs are pretty catchy too

-for Mega Six, Mari is filming and all the queens look directly into her camera

-they also take it and dance on stage with her phone, filming everything

-Mari is about to faint. Doesn’t matter that she’s technically famous, she is DEAD

-they don’t see her face when they take and give back the phone so when she comes backstage afterwards with the gang, at first they just recognize her hair and see her as the girl who was filming the Mega Six

-then they see her face and the costume designer is trying so hard not to squeal, oblivious to the fact that she’s doing the exact same thing.

-Mari is absolutely gushing to them about how great the show was

-She tells Parr that her song was what kept her going in school, since she’s listened to the Broadway and West End soundtracks about a billion times. (Pretend like the broadway one is already out time is a construct with rich people)

-side note, they post the pictures and video and suddenly A BUNCH of Six fans are now following Mari and now Mari is designing outfits inspired by the queens because AH THE COSTUMES ARE GORGEOUS I COULD TALK ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

-fun fact, they are all wearing a “If Found, Please Return to Nathalie” shirt

-Felix is adorable and bought Mari some hair pins with watermelons because Watermelon Kids

-yes Nathalie has a shirt that says “I’m Nathalie”

-they actually did lose Adrien and these two girls were able to return him to Nathalie and they all took a pic with them and followed the two on Twitter

-they don’t know what else to do in New York, so they just make their way down to...

-New Jersey!

-Seaside Boardwalk!!

-they mostly stick to the arcades, Mari sticking to casino pier, and them getting fries and lemonade as a snack.

-they spend the night at the boardwalk, going on a few rides like Moby Dick, and Pirate’s Cove.

-they spend the night at a house of a friend of Tom Dupain’s and the next day, they go to the Ocean County mall because it was close to the house.

-Adrien complained a bit about going to “the least cool mall in the state” but stopped when he found a five below at the plaza.

-five below is his weakness.

-mall, fun, yada yada yada

-bath and body works is inside? Mari’s in heaven.

-Friendly’s for lunch! Ice cream all around my friends!

-that afternoon they go to laser tag and completely dominated.

-Twins on one team, Watermelon Kids on the other.

-for some reason (the reason is called because I said so) they decide to go down to another boardwalk further south.

-on the way they go to lobster house for lunch (lobster house is amazing I don’t even really like it for the food it’s just the VIBES. they are. immaculate.)

-they go to Wildwood and ohhh

-Nino and Adrien are living it up on the rides

-rollercoaster, log flume, submarine ride slash game thingy!

-they’re doing it all

-and Felix and Mari are being so cute and domestic winning each other things at the games

-and then the arcade, where Felix is hopeless at Skeeball and ends up slipping and Mari helps him up while trying not to laugh

-can I just say that I think Mari is probably really good at claw machines?

-she has some weird sort of luck when she’s playing and she’ll always end up winning a prize

-they spend the night at a cute little hotel and the next day they go mini golfing

-now this is where Felix for some reason shines

-Mari keeps losing her golf ball and having to go search for it

-Adrien and Nino are both mediocre at it.

-Adrien got a hole in one and he and Nino screamed and Nino picked him up and spun him around

-they also got ice cream at said mini golf place

-Khor’s is just...*chefs kiss*. They all got the orange and vanilla swirl because I said so and it’s a Khor’s classic

-Felix picks an Italian place for dinner that night. It’s called Little Italy and it’s pretty good.

-and, that’s a wrap for New Jersey! Next...

-alllll the way down to.... North Carolina!

-they spend only a day in North Carolina, but they do go to these caves.

-and also, this place with food that’s mainly made of... alligator?

-basically, it’s a rest day.

-Mari gets SUPER inspired and buys fabric to make a jacket inspired by the caves and honestly it’s gorgeous because she used not only the tan of the rocks, but the beautiful blues of the water.

-NATHALIE BREAK

-she’s so tired but she’s having so much fun with her boys!!!

-she actually feels pretty well rested a few days into the trip.

-Nathalie can’t help but fuss over the kids

-and coo at their cuteness when they do cute things

-She and Mari always share a room

-and the three boys share a room

-Nathalie helps Mari do complicated braids because she’s super good at those and Mari can only do a basic braid.

-next!

-South Carolina!

-specifically Charleston.

-ghost tout ghost tour ghost tour

-“and this is the building where a dude saw the ship that held all his crops sink. He then proceeded to-“

-it gets graphic in that moment and Marinette is having fun but also isn’t a fan of thinking of... uh, head not being on body???

-pirates!!! They go into this cave thingy and see piratey stuff, which is entertaining for everyone because it’s creepy in the cave, which Mari enjoys, PIRATES, which Adrino enjoys, and history for the grumpy Felix

-it’s quiet and everyone’s happy, which Nathalie is living for.

-they mostly just walk around looking at pretty things the next day

-rainbow row rainbow row

-Mari is so inspired that she buys a cheap sketchbook from target just so she can get all these ideas down

-she desperately wants to sew but she has to wait since they don’t have access to a sewing machine.

-so, they eat at a sandwich shop before hitting the road.

-they make a quick stop in Georgia, laugh at a sign that lists the marvel movies made in Georgia, then leave.

-(sorry Georgia. I’m sure you’re a very nice state but I’ve had limited interaction with the state besides passing through and sometimes stopping to eat lunch.)

-this is the thing they’re very excited for!!!

-Florida!

-specifically, Orlando

-that’s right, DISNEY WORLD.

-they are spending a whole week here.

-that’s right, 7 days of fun.

-day 1, animal kingdom because they get there in the afternoon and there isn’t as much they want to see in animal kingdom. They have loads of fun though and are planning on dropping by another day for the first half of the day.

-next day is Magic Kingdom

-they go on so many rides.

-small world is Adrien’s favorite ride, don’t @ me.

-Casey’s Corner is where they get lunch because Mari loves the aesthetic.

-MINNIE EARS ALL AROUND

-Marinette has a different one for every outfit

-Aristocats ears!!!

-she can’t explain why she loves it, she just DOES.

-for their last day (yeah this is out of order but who cares) they park hop, ending in magic kingdom and staying for the fireworks. Our favorite designer wears these lovely light up ears

-when they went to animal kingdom on the first day you KNOW Mari had some cute ears

-shh don’t tell the boys and Nathalie but Felix actually asked Mari to be his girlfriend when they were in Hollywood studios

-they walked off together, and sat on a bench somewhere sharing a snack

-our extra boy asked if she could be his girlfriend with matching beauty and the beast rings

-Mari said yes and she smiled soooo much.

-it’s kind of hard to explain everything so let’s just talk about the interesting stuff!!

-Marinette VIBES with the princesses oh my god

-TIANA INSPIRED OUTFIT PLEASE

-Disney is V fun but... sorry boys, it’s time for Marinette to get some sewing done! (Also I’m kind of bored of writing Disney this took several weeks bc I would write like a sentence a day lol)

-CALIFORNIA TIME

-they do go for one day in Disneyland but most of it’s spent going to get some inspiration for Mari.

-fabric stores fabric stores.

-that girl is sketching and coming up with ideas like her life DEPENDS ON IT

-inspiration explosion

-also some normal Knick knack shopping, so Mari gets some time away from staring down at her tablet and sketchbook.

-resting and just going to try all different sorts of normal, causal restaurants

-living the life

-also, Felix and Mari go on their first date. I say first date Very Loosely because it’s actually them sitting in Mari’s hotel room eating pizza and watching a movie and though they both consider it a date, they want to have a cute, cliche first date when they back home.

-Speaking of home...

-They are about to fly back to Paris when they get a message from Jess, one of the girls who found Adrien in NY.

-It was a message from her asking if she could check her latest tweet.

-it was a recording of Jess playing guitar, the song (an instrumental version of Miraculous but slightly modified) being wonderfully sweet. Aeon, the other girl, was also in the video, humming along to Jess. At the end, Jess dedicated the video the them and they both gushed about how nice they were in person and that both of them had waited until they had the arrangement ready before they posted it on social media.

-it thawed even Felix’s icy heart.

-and as they flew back to Paris, Nathalie couldn’t help but think of what a perfectly wonderful trip it had been. Minus... the accidents.

-But there’s no need to talk about that here.

-They reach Paris safe and sound, and Marinette takes a long, long nap right before she goes into creative mode and sews all the outfits she had sketched. Advantages of being rich, you know? You don’t have to worry about fabric price.

-While Mari was sewing, everyone else was also slowing down.

-And gearing up to go back to school

-*dramatic music*

-What will happen next? Even I have no idea!

.......

It’s almost like.... I exist??? Haha, but seriously, sorry for sort of going MIA??? I finally finished this, mostly by getting lazy towards the end. Yes, before you say it, I don’t hate NYC. It’s cool there, I just love making fun of it and the fact the special cam eout a few days ago is just pure irony. All of those links should work, so you can actually buy the Disney things I’m talking about! If they aren’t, please tell me so I can fix them. Next up is the Nathalie mentioned “Accidents”. That should take way less time because I’m going to go with the tried and true method of “Make stuff up and hope it makes sense”. I say should because you never know with me, I’m a mess ❤️❤️❤️

Tag list: @bigpicklebananatree @kris-pines04 @animegirlweeb @akana-sama @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @virgolioness @goblinwhoships @toastlover21 @buginetye

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wln559wln559 · 3 years

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singing to the evening stars

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supposed2bfunny · 4 years

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2doc Week Day 3- Firsts

The bar is mostly empty, which means it must be going on three or so. Some locals remain, as do a few drunks who are too tired to move. There’s a couple sat at one of the front tables: the girl is crying; the boy is spinning his dead cellphone nervously as he tries to talk her down. ABBA is playing on the speaker over the booth where 2D and Murdoc are sitting.

It’s perfectly surreal, and it suits the musicians just fine. They’re sat across from each other, 2D’s sneakered foot is rubbing against Murdoc’s ankle every so often, and more than once, Murdoc has grabbed 2D’s wrist in his drunken excitement, pulled it across the table, and kissed the back of his hand, or his palm.

It’s nice.

“This bartender,” Murdoc says, flicking the empty shells of some peanuts that sit between them on the table, which 2D had munched on hours ago, “he reminds me of someone from our last tour. Who is it?”

“Umm,” 2D spins his tongue along the rim of his beer bottle, turning to stare none-too-subtly at the bartender. “Bald? Dunno. Sure he wasn’t a backstage techie?”

“No, not his baldness, dumbass, his nose and goatee. Reminds me of…someone.”

“Sort of looks like Count Chocula to me.”

“What?” Murdoc snorts, nearly choking on a sip of ale. “Who?”

“The bloke from that cereal! From America! Russel introduced it to us. He had a goatee, I think.”

“But a vampire? Mate, this guy doesn’t look like a vampire.”

“Then who’s he remind you of?” he challenges, kicking the older man’s shin lightly beneath the table.

“Dunno, he reminds me of someone from one of our tours. We were touring Humanz, I think.”

“Oh that was ages, ago, Muds. Don’t think I’d remember the backup musicians we had with us.”

“Pity, we had some top notch players for that tour. Vienna? We were solid!”

“The four of us really had our mojo on then too,” 2D agrees. “Remember you and Noods just riffing, trading bars, sounding crazy. Like Titans clashing on Mount Vesuvius!”

“Mount Olympus, but I appreciate the simile,” he chuckles, reaching for the singer’s hand yet again, pressing his lips to his knuckles. “You didn’t sound so bad yourself then, if my admittedly liquor-spotted memory serves.”

“Muds, you always say that I sound good live,” he giggles.

Murdoc sets his drink down, taps the table in his excitement. “Well duh, Tweedle-Dee, you were born to perform! With your looks and your voice, on a stage is where you’re meant to be. It’s like seeing a king assuming his gilded throne!”

“I get a few drinks into you and you become a world-class flatterer, don’t you?”

“You should see what I’ll do after a few dozen,” he says with a wink.

2D’s eyes flit away from the bartender, whose visage could be similar to anyone’s at this point; they’ve lost interest in that conversation, in him. The singer scans the shitty decor, the dead bug-flecked lights and the vinyl discs displayed above the bar. It’s a real dive, this place, and it’s perfect. The ultimate destination to get lost with Murdoc for hours reminiscing, drinking, taking in the way the dim lights soften Murdoc’s features, to savor the way he smiles more readily when they’re in a place people won’t recognize or bother them.

“D’you really think that I’m still, you know, up to par when I perform live?” he asks after a moment.

Murdoc’s flirty smile shifts; his own mismatched eyes shunt from 2D’s restless hands to his face, to his hands again, trying to gauge where the conversation is going. “I wouldn’t bother saying it if I didn’t think it was true,” he says slowly, and if they were outside, he would be plucking a cigarette from his pocket. “I don’t bullshit, Stu.”

“That’s bullshit,” he can’t help but smile at the absurdity of the statement. “You spend ninety percent of your waking hours talking out of your arse!”

“Yeah, but not to you,” Murdoc clarifies, and, despite the staggering amount of alcohol they’ve consumed over the course of the night, and how it’ll be dawn before they know it, and in spite of the way the world keeps spinning them along at a speed that 2D struggles to comprehend sometimes, the moment becomes somehow sharper then, the intensity of Murdoc’s gaze sober, the gravity of his words like a planetary re-alignment.

Oh, 2D thinks, of course. That makes sense.

“Okay, well then…I guess I just ask because…that was 2017. And I’m not getting any younger. I don’t have the vocal range I used to, from the cigarettes, probably. Sometimes performing stuff live, I think of how easy it used to be to slip up into high octaves. And I had more hair back then too. Don’t know if I could really pass for a ‘pretty boy’ these days, not like it’s something I need to do. Do you know what I mean, Muds? Like, I still like performing live, but d’you ever wonder how much longer I can carry our image? Not a spring chicken. I’m—”

“Right, just going to go ahead and cut you off there, pet. I know the beginning of a downwards spiral when I hear it,” Murdoc interjects, and he realizes it’s true. A niggling fear that’s been in the back of his mind for months now. Since he turned forty, if he’s being honest. He leans over the table, wanting to be closer to the bassist, and Murdoc meets his stare placidly. “Stu, I’ve had a bit to drink, but I’m going to give it to you as coherently as I can: you’re a rockstar. That makes you timeless, legendary. Think of Gene Simmons!”

“I’d rather not,” 2D admits. “Ew.”

“Okay, well, think Paul McCartney or Mick Jagger! Those blokes make us look like embryos, and they still sell out MSG whenever they go on tour! It’s because of their charisma, their talent, their mojo; the old bags are damn immortal!”

“And you think Gorillaz are immortal, Muds? You’re not just saying that as like, a Satanist or whatever?”

“No, I’m saying it because I’m abso-fucking-lutely confident that after being in the music industry for most of my life, I know talent when I see it. I’m not just patronizing you because you’re my boyfriend, Stu, I’m telling you: you’re a natural-born performer, and that shit doesn’t fade with age. You’re a blue-haired legend!”

2D leans back, drinks in the sight of Murdoc, drunk, laconic, confident in his words. “You’re really serious about me,” he murmurs after a long pause, punctuated by the Blondie that is now pouring out of the shitty speaker wedged above their booth.

“Duh,” Murdoc snaps. “Have been since I rammed into that pretty head with my Astra, but glad you’ve finally realized that I meant it when I said I knew you’d be the ultimate cash cow—”

“No, no. Not about my talent,” he answers, because really, who gives a damn whether he’ll be able to sell out MSG when he’s sixty years old? “You just called me your boyfriend.”

He sees the realization as it flickers into Murdoc’s dark eyes; like flash cotton, it’s a burst of bright, embarrassed understanding, almost instantly quelled by a more casual mask that 2D is intimately familiar with. “Did I?”

2D smiles, lifts his long, long legs up to rest his feet on the tops of Murdoc’s thighs, making the bassist squirm a little. Maybe they’ve spent enough time at this dive bar. 2D is suddenly feeling electric, and a great deal younger than he was at the onset of their evening together. He’s a bit restless, wants to walk with Murdoc, to walk and smoke and find a sidewalk that will lead them along the water so they can watch dawn break as they’ve done countless times together.

“Yeah, you did. You’ve never said that word before.”

“Well, you are, aren’t you?” Murdoc grumbles, playing at nonchalant.

“Oh yeah, only been dating since, what? 2017? 2018?”

“Only been a little bit in love since what, 1999?” Murdoc asks, voice gone all quiet.

Gracelessly, 2D stands, fumbling for his wallet so he can leave a tip at the table and hasten the bassist out the door. He’s known Murdoc loved him for years, decades even. Neither of them has had any reason to hide it. But he’s never heard Murdoc refer to him as his boyfriend before, and didn’t even know the word was in his vocabulary.

“Hey, Muds?” he asks when his sudden movement makes the bassist blanch. “Walk with me? I want to slip my hand in your back pocket, but that’s pretty hard to do when we’re slunk in a booth.”

“Oh, oh yeah, sure,” words tend to abandon Murdoc when he’s serious, and 2D smiles, revels in getting to see him when he’s this raw.

Nodding at the bartender that might look like someone they’ve worked with and who might just look like himself, both men step out into the cool night, Murdoc’s hands instantly going for his pack of cigarettes and 2D’s arm instantly snaking around his waist, pulling him close.

“Nice night for a romantic walk, eh?”

“It’s not night, idiot, it’s well into morning.”

“Well then, good morning, starlight,” Murdoc chuckles, inhales a breath of smoke and hands the cigarette to 2D.

“Good morning, handsome,” he replies, feeling giddy, like a girl on her first date. Like a first date he’s played out a million times before, that gets better and better each time.

#2doc #2doc week #2doc week 2020 #2doc week day 3 #niccalpot #i love the idea of these two just getting drunk and talking all night long <3

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restaurantinsanjuan · 3 years

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The Best Things to See, Eat, and Do in San Juan

Why come to Puerto Rico when you could travel in Mexico, or Miami, or even the Dominican Republic nearby? Great inquiry. Come to Puerto Rico to encounter the unusual impression of being in a completely unique nation (gas by the liter, streets by the kilometer, Spanish is spoken) while as yet being in the United States (same dollar, same president, no requirement for a visa). An outing here is a 3-for-1 deal of Caribbean sea shores, tropical rainforests, and wonderful mountainscapes - with the uncommon special reward of not one but rather three bioluminescent sounds. There's sufficient to see and do in Puerto Rico to keep you occupied for quite a long time.

All things considered, at the top of any Puerto Rico agenda ought to be San Juan, the dynamic capital city where most of the island's visitors land. Set up in 1521, this is the most established European-established settlement in the US and the second-most seasoned in the Americas. You don't need to squint too difficult to see that rich history around you: The pastel-hued Spanish frontier structures and thin cobblestone roads of the Old Town are ensured by seventeenth century strongholds and a 15-foot-thick crisscrossing divider. Take a mobile tour around Old San Juan to get the full impact. Additionally of historical import: The piña colada was concocted here.

Be that as it may, San Juan is something beyond enchanting old stuff and tourist shops. It's a mosaic of steadily advancing areas, similar to the cosmopolitan Miami vibes of Condado, or the fashionable person bars and road craft of Santurce. Regardless of whether you're here for the afternoon or remaining for a whole week, here are the best things to do in San Juan.

The Best Things to See on a Trip to Puerto Rico

Tour the history-pressed San Juan, zip line through a tropical rainforest, and hit the sea shore.

Visit the absolute most seasoned fortresses in the Americas

We should move the touristy stuff first, will we? Two tremendous fortresses front San Juan's northern face. To the west, the sixteenth century Castillo San Felipe del Morro (normally known as El Morro) is undoubtedly perhaps the most notable attractions in Puerto Rico. With its essential area ignoring the San Juan Bay, El Morro protected this port city from 1539 to as of late as WWII.

Passage into El Morro costs just $7.00 - save your ticket, since it likewise incorporates section to "that other fortification," Castillo San Cristobal, inside 24 hours of procurement. This is fundamentally El Morro's neglected younger sibling, yet San Cristobal is cool too! It's the biggest European fortress in the Americas and features the notorious Devil's Guerite (Garita del Diablo). Rumors have spread far and wide suggesting that warriors would randomly vanish as they stood watch in this guerite.

It's about a mile stroll from one fortress to the next, and the walk alone is breathtaking, with pastel provincial houses on one side and a capturing blue ocean on the other. A mammoth esplanade fronting El Morro fills in as a public social event spot, and is a great spot to take a break.

Take a look at the lead representative's home

After you visit the fortresses, walk the waterfront down to La Fortaleza, another walled compound where the island's Governor lives. You're not permitted to go in - it's in a real sense the Governor's home and office - yet you'll see it from the entryway. Lately, the First Lady has stepped up and brighten Fortaleza Street paving the way to the fundamental door. Right now, it's adorned with many bright umbrellas drifting over the road.

Snap a selfie at La Puerta de la Bandera

Since 2012, the passage doors of a flimsy structure on San José Street have become a significant image for Puerto Ricans living under the island's present financial emergency. Craftsman Rosenda Álvarez initially painted the doors with the Puerto Rican banner, just to revisit her painting four years after the fact, quiet the red and blue shades of the banner, and paint them dark all things considered. It was an analysis to the questionable monetary oversight board that is currently controlling the island funds. The structure is presently a famous selfie spot among tourists and local people.

Chase for noticeable (dead) local people in the graveyard

Despite the fact that it's found right close to El Morro, this pioneer time graveyard is regularly neglected by tourists. It lies right external the divider, confronting the ocean. The Santa Maria Magdalena de Pazzis Cemetery is the last resting spot of a few noticeable Puerto Ricans - among the most acclaimed names discovered here are Pedro Albizu Campos, Jose Celso Barbosa, and José de Diego, among numerous others.

Chill with something fruity

In the event that you see a little kart with "piraguas" composed on it, do not spare a moment! Piraguas are squashed ice cones seasoned with nearby natural product syrups like cherry, enthusiasm organic product, strawberry, tamarind, coconut, and lemon. Sadly they're a withering practice, yet they can in any case be found in Old San Juan, particularly close to El Morro and Paseo la Princesa.

You'll likewise see hand crafted popsicles sold to a great extent at inhabitants' front doors, generally for $1. These are paletas, seasoned with pretty much every natural product on the island. Guava. Coconut. Other stuff. I got one that was an orange-and-cream blend, and I discovered it some way or another gooier than I'd anticipated. It was likewise truly reviving. Which was fundamental around noontime in the late spring, when the city can be, ah, I'll simply say it, abusively hot.

See the rotunda in the Puerto Rican Capitol

The capitol building is a marble structure fronting the Atlantic, not a long way from Fort San Cristobal. Passageway is totally free, Monday through Friday. Look upward at the roof, where the history of Puerto Rico is portrayed in a dazzling, point by point mosaic. Remain in the focal point of the rotunda, and you'll be encircled by glass-encased duplicates of the Puerto Rican and U.S. constitutions. Outside, the Puerto Rican and U.S. banners fly one next to the other.

Visit the most established house of God in Puerto Rico

In the first place, look at the gallery at Casa Blanca, a house worked for the Spanish traveler Ponce de León and his family. De León, who broadly (and uselessly) looked for the wellspring of youth, kicked the bucket on a campaign before he could move in. Walk a couple of squares to the San Juan Bautista basilica where Ponce de Leon moved in, and where he'll remain forever; he's entombed inside.

There's nothing extravagant about the design, however San Juan Bautista is the most established church in Puerto Rico and the second most seasoned in the Americas. Notwithstanding the tomb of de León, it contains the holy place to Carlos Manuel Rodríguez Santiago - the principal Puerto Rican and the main layman in the history of the United States to be beatified.

Dance to the beat of "Despacito" in La Perla

La Perla has gained notoriety for strict hundreds of years. This historic shanty town was initially settled in the nineteenth century to house previous slaves and destitute workers who weren't permitted to live inside the city dividers. Today, the area appreciates newly discovered acclaim as where Luis Fonsi shot his music video for "Despacito." It was hit hard by Hurricane Maria is still amidst remaking. In case you're nearby on a Sunday night, go celebrating at La 39 Bar, a shoddy bar based on the top of a house that was mostly obliterated during the typhoon. Request a Medalla, the most mainstream brew in Puerto Rico.

Go to a well known speakeasy mixed drink bar

Likewise featured in the "Despacito" music vid is the speakeasy El Condal. This spot is so well known among local people, it doesn't require a sign outside. It's found where the well known Hijos de Borinquen bar used to be (you can in any case see the first name inside, painted on the divider), and El Condal holds the calm vibe of the famous unique.

It's tourist-accommodating, however as you advance inside you'll discover more than tourists drinking - and moving - there. Past the covered up indirect access are four more individual spaces, including a wine-bar, dance floor, and basement like bar - each with its own music, vibe, climate, beverages, and food. You may even get spendy and drop $9 on a mixed drink.

Attempt a delectable tripleta

Puerto Rico has no deficiency of delightful road food, particularly since the food-truck fever has assumed control over the island. In any case, Puerto Rico has had its own customary food-truck dish throughout recent decades - it's called tripleta. What's a tripleta? It's a sandwich. Tripleta implies three, so this sandwich has marinated barbecued 3D square steak, ham or pork, and chicken. It is served on a portion of yam bread with chips, mayonnaise, and ketchup. Trust me, it is delightful! Among the most famous tripletas is El Mariachi, found in Caguas and numerous different districts. You can visit best Italian restaurant in San Juan.

Absorb the Miami vibes along Ashford Avenue

Ashford Avenue feels like a Caribbean adaptation of Miami Beach with its Miami-style design, very good quality stores, popular lodgings, and beachfront bistros. Stroll along the road to absorb the climate, chill at the beachfront Ventana del Mar Park, have a dynamic night at the historic La Concha Resort, or tune in to live groups at the Hard Rock Café.

#san juan #restaurant #food

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fanfic-fangirl · 4 years

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Never Really Gone

Possible Prologue

Pairing: Hydra Steve x Reader/OC

Word Count: 3007

Warnings: (For this chapter) Kidnapping, stalking, swearing

Summary: Steve lost the love of his life during the war, and it broke him. Now, over 80 years later, he finds she’s still alive. Knowing this, he can’t go on without her. The only problem, she’s from another reality. But that’s ok, because his HYDRA has the means to open a portal to the other reality.

A/N: I may or may not continue this. I’m not entirely sure. I think it will depend on interest and inspiration. I know the ending is kind of open ended, but, it works as a stand alone, because you can use your imagination, to decide what happens.

Also, if you know who the pic belongs to, please let me know, so that I can give credit, or remove.

After seeing her photo, he realizes it was the woman he had loved before he took the serum and joined the war. She was one of his best friends, along with Bucky. She would always help take care of him after getting beat up. She was with him for the entire process. He demanded that she become his PA while they were touring and selling war bonds. When Steve was touring with the USO, she joined him. She was with him when he found out about Bucky, and encouraged him to do something about it. She was with him when he jumped out of Howard Stark’s plane. It was the first time he’d ever kissed her, told her he loved her, and when the war was over, he wanted to marry her. He felt invincible after she confessed to returning his feelings, and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of their lives together. She was waiting for him, when he returned with all the rescued soldiers and Bucky. She’d run to him, and that was their second kiss. After that, Steve joined Bucky and the 107th, and she returned to the States. She began working for Howard, becoming his PA in turn.

They would write to each other every week, and when her letters stopped, Steve was frantic. He’d been told, that, while visiting a General on the front lines, she’d been killed. He found out later, that the General had raped, then murdered her to keep her quiet, once he found out she was engaged to Captain America. Then the camp they were in was attacked, and the General claimed she was a casualty of war. He tried to have the General held accountable, but the government refused, said there was no point, since she probably would have been killed anyway. That’s when Steve snapped. Though he did it quietly, he began formulating a plan. After loosing Bucky on the train, and Dr. Zola escaping, Steve began to hunt Hydra down. During his last fight with the Red Skull, Steve killed him and took over his role as the Head of Hydra. His first act, as the new leader, take down the American government and take over the entire country. He succeeded. Once the other countries figured out what had happened, they began to fight back. Though, it had taken decades before they realized it, and after their own governments were so deeply infiltrated with Hydra, it’s been an ongoing battle ever since.

Now that Steve knows she’s alive in another reality, he wants her back. He’s decided to go to this reality, meet her, get to know her, and bring her back to his own. Of course, he’ll have to take the place of that reality’s Captain America, to even hope to get close to her.

After reading other Steve’s file, he finds it odd, that they’re barely even friends. Other Steve, apparently, fell in love with Peggy Carter, and even though the woman is dead, he’s still pinning after her. Steve can’t help but think how stupid other Steve is. He’s so blinded by a love that will never be, he can’t see, that his soul mate is right in front of him. Because as far as he was concerned, she was his soul mate, and nothing would keep them apart. Not even death.

In preparation for his mission to the other reality, Steve began to study other Steve, he sent operatives over to observe and record him, learn everything there was to know about the man. If he was going to take other Steve’s place, he was going to have to be believable as that reality’s Steve. Then, once he’d replaced the man, he would begin courting the love of his life. Of course, he’d had his people observe her, as well. Watching the videos of her, he was glad to see she was exactly the same. Headstrong, smart, more stubborn than him, filthy mouth. He’d secretly always loved that about her, she didn’t care what other’s thought, she was always true to herself. She’d been ridiculed and shunned because of it, but it never stopped her from being herself. She wasn’t even afraid to wear trousers, back in the day. Watching the other version of her, he realized that she was born before her time and was glad to see that she seemed to fit more with the current era, than they one he’d been from.

He’d almost cried, while watching her in one of the surveillance videos. She was walking through the grounds of what he now knew, was the Avengers compound, when out of nowhere, a teenage boy ran up to her, touched her arm while saying, “Tag! You’re it!” Then ran off just as quickly. She cursed playfully at the boy, before laughing and running after him. Steve watched as she chased the boy, only to be joined by Sam Wilson and Bucky.

Apparently, Sam and Bucky had been outside, training with Peter, when he’d caught sight of her, and decided he needed a break from training to have a little fun, he was still a kid after all. He’d managed to evade both Sam and Bucky, loosing them in the process.

“You just wait til I catch you, Parker!” she’d yelled after him, as he ran past Sam and Bucky.

“I’d run if I were you. We’re playing tag, and she’s it!” Peter laughed, once he’d passed them. The two men looked at the woman running after Peter, then each other. With a smile, Sam shrugged his shoulders, and followed Peter. Leaving Bucky, standing there alone as the woman stopped in front of him, panting, while holding her side.

“I take it Sam put him up to this?” She asked between breaths as she leaned over, her hands just above her knees. “So help him, if this is his way of trying to get me to exorcise. So which way did those little shits go?” she asked, standing up, giving him a lopsided smile.

Though he’d seen her plenty of times, listened to her during mission briefings, Bucky was still shy around the young woman. He was shy around everyone, who wasn’t part of the main team.

“Um, Sam went that way,” Bucky said, pointing to her left, then pointing a little to the right, he said, “and the kid ran that way.” He looked away when she gave him one of her biggest smiles.

“You’re a life saver, Bucky, thanks!” she smiled, holding her fist out in front of him. He quirked an eyebrow, then met her eyes.

“Fist bump, man.” She chuckled, still smiling at him and Bucky couldn’t help but smile back, as he bumped his fist against her’s.

“And that’s a tag, now you’re it!” she laughed as she ran in the direction he’d said Peter had gone, as fast and as hard as she could.

It took him a minute to realize what had just happened. Then he looked up in the direction she’d run off to, hearing her yell, “Damn it, Peter! You’d better save me before old man Barnes gets me!”

He smiled and let a small chuckle escape his lips, knowing she was teasing. Of course, that didn’t stop him from running after her.

“You’d better run faster, if you don’t want this old man to tag you back!” Bucky yelled, finally chasing after her. Though, not too fast, since he wanted her to think she had some kind of chance at escape.

“NO TAG BACKS! NO TAG BACKS!!!! PEETTEEEERRRRR!!!!!!” she screamed as she heard him getting closer.

“This is why I told you, you need to exercise more, you’re being outrun by a true millennial.” Sam laughed as he joined her in running away from Bucky.

She smirked over at Sam, and he knew he was in trouble.

“Hey, whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it. I’m sure what ever it is, will only get you in trouble.” Sam said, before she bumped into him, causing him to stumble and fall to the ground.

“Consider that a peace offering, old man!” she yelled back to Bucky, laughing as she continued to run towards the compound.

“That was cold.” Peter laughed, coming out of nowhere and running along side her.

“Yea, well, when running away, you just have to be faster than the person next to you.” she laughed and slowed, as they heard Sam curse, knowing Bucky had more than likely tagged him.

“Wanna give a girl a lift to the roof? We’ll hide from them inside, work on ninja skills.” she winked, panting as they stopped in front of the building. Peter couldn’t help but shake his head at how out of breath she was.

“On one condition.” he said, mock seriousness in his tone.

“Ugh, fine, what.” she panted, looking over to see Bucky and Sam running towards them.

“You gotta start training with me. You’re really out of shape.” he teased.

“What, and loose my girlish figure?” she asked in mock offense.

“Agree, or I leave you to fend for yourself.” he smiled.

“Fine! Now get us to the roof!” she said, turning him around and wrapping her arms around his neck. Peter, then jumped onto the wall, and began scaling the building until they’d reached the roof.

“That’s cheating!” Sam yelled up after them.

“Only because it wasn’t you’re idea. Good luck finding us, Team Geezer!” she taunted the two men below, laughing along with Peter.

“Dude, you gonna let her get away with that? She just called you a geezer?” Sam asked, looking at Bucky.

“Nice try,” Bucky chuckled, “but it was you, she was yelling at.”

“Man, how did I get lumped into the geezer group?” Sam grumbled, watching Bucky open the door and walk into the building.

“Probably because you hang around Steve so much. Now come on, this game’s not over, till we make them cry uncle.” Bucky smirked, then headed for the stairs. Sam grinned and ran after them, liking where the game was going.

It was her laugh that almost brought him to tears. It had been so long since he’d heard it, he hadn’t realized he had forgotten what it sounded like. How big and bright her smile was, the mischievous sparkle in her eye when she was being playful. That quickly became Steve’s favorite video. When ever he was having a bad day, or just needed a reminder, why he was doing what he was doing, he’d watch that video. It took a few times, but eventually, he’d realized the boy, was Peter Parker, Spiderman. Though, in his reality, Parker was still one of the good guys, doing everything he could to fight Steve and Hydra.

Of course, his Bucky, never really cared for her, mostly tolerated her for Steve’s sake. Steve was pretty sure it was because Bucky had developed a small crush on her when they were older. But, every time Bucky would flirt and ask her out, she would politely turn him down, telling him she wasn’t his type of girl. Eventually, Bucky had stopped asking and began to be cold and distant with her. Before the serum, he’d often wondered why she continued to refuse Bucky, later, he realized it was because she harbored feelings for Steve, and knew how Steve felt about the types of girls Bucky would date.

Steve had seen in the videos, how her interactions with Bucky became more frequent. They were quickly becoming friends and Steve was worried, that it might interfere with his plans for her. He didn’t want to resort to kidnapping, but as a desperate last resort, he would. Of course, he also found it curious, that his counterpart, rarely had any interactions with her, at all. It was almost as if he would actively avoid her. Steve couldn’t help but wonder why, he suspected that other Steve did like her, and thought that, perhaps, watching her and Bucky together, made him jealous. Of course, it was his own fault for ignoring her and not noticing her until Bucky started paying more attention to her. A part of him couldn’t help but have a small bit of joy, that other Steve might have feelings for her but can’t act on them. Steve wanted to completely win her over himself. Have her fall for him, not other-Steve.

After reading the last report, Steve decided it was time. Other-Steve would be away on a solo mission. One that his operatives had spent the last few months setting up and planning for. She would be the angel in his ear, eyes in the sky, or whatever they referred to the tech back up as. Steve was going to take the place of other-Steve and no one would be the wiser. There would be an accident, “knocking” him out, then other-Steve would be taken and held somewhere. She’d call for backup to pull him out. He’d still be unconscious, of course. The only thing he wasn’t looking forward to, was the beating he was going to have to take. He’d be fighting with the “mark”, then, be hit over the head. They’d find him strapped to the memory wiping chair, the other reality’s Hydra had used on the Winter Solider. Of course, the chair is completely useless, it’s only purpose, being a prop.

“Are you watching that damn video of her, again?” Bucky groaned, walking into to Steve’s room and seeing the video paused on her smiling face.

“You forget how to knock?” Steve asked, glaring at his friend and second in command.

Bucky rolled his eyes, ignoring the question, “They’re all set up on the other side, hero boy is about thirty out. You may want to suit up and head to the lab.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in fifteen.” Steve nodded, turning off the video.

Bucky had his hand on the door knob, when he turned to Steve, and asked, “Are you sure you really want to do this? I mean, yea, she looks like your girl, but you don’t know if she’s the same person. You don’t know anything about her. Her experiences are different, the era she grew up is a hell of a lot different. I mean, come on Steve, her and hero boy aren’t even friends, they’re barely on speaking terms.” Bucky sighs, while looking at the floor, “I guess what I’m trying to say, is, is she really worth it? I mean, I know you guys were close and you were gonna marry her after the war, but Steve…….”

“She’s the same, Bucky. I’ve read the reports, I’ve seen her videos. She’s the same. You remember how different she was, how she didn’t fit in. But watching their version of her, I get why. Our version, was born too early, but their version, was born during the right era. Maybe you’re right,” Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I mean, she does get along with the other you. They’re really good friends. So, yea, there probably is something wrong with her.” Bucky looks up and glares, when he sees Steve smirking at him.

“Just be careful, punk, and if it turns out, she’s not the same, you abort the mission.”

“I’ll consider it, you jerk.”

Bucky can’t stop the small smile from forming. “You’re hopeless. I’ll see you in the lab.” he says, before leaving.

Steve takes a deep breath and lets it out as slow as he can. He’s feeling more nervous, than he ever has before. After more than eighty years, he’s finally going to see her again. Something he’s only ever fantasized and dreamed about. He can’t stop himself from thinking about all the things he’s finally going to get to do with her. Their first date, their third kiss, loosing his virginity to her.

After she’d died, he’d lost any and all interest in women, and anything of a sexual nature, for that matter. Sure, he had the occasional urge, but nothing he couldn’t take care of himself. Not to say, he hadn’t had the opportunity. Being the head of Hydra, he had an endless supply of women throwing themselves at him, but he didn’t find a single one appealing in that way. He always told Bucky it was because they were only interested in him for his power and looks and he wasn’t interested in that type of girl. Of course, Bucky was more than willing to accept what Steve would refuse. Which, all the more, proved Steve’s point.

Walking to the lab, Steve couldn’t help but feel like his old self. Insecure, self conscious, small and insignificant. He didn’t understand why he felt that way, and hoped it would change once he saw her again. He hoped it was just the nerves from seeing her again, after over eighty years. Steve both hated and enjoyed the feelings at the same time. It was nice to be reminded that he was still capable of feeling something other than the satisfaction of watching the world burn.

“Report.” He said, walking into the lab.

“Sir, the portal is opened and stable, we’re ready when ever you are.” an unnamed scientist answered.

“Has the Captain arrived at the location yet?” he asked, staring at a dark and empty room on the other side of the portal.

“Our operatives just reported visual confirmation. General Barnes is already on the other side.” a commanding officer said.

“Good. Remember, once we’ve contained the Captain, I will be under radio silence for a few days. Once I’ve regained consciousness, and established my place as their Captain, I will be in contact with further orders.” He said.

“Yes, sir. Good luck sir.” the lead scientist stated. Steve gave him a quick nod, before walking through the portal, the unfamiliar feel of butterflies in his stomach.

#hydra captain america #captain america #steve rogers x reader #MCU AU #alternate universe #steve rogers #captain america x reader #mcudarklibrary

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kinnaman-smorgasbord · 4 years

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Esquire Singapore Dec 2019 - Joel Kinnaman Interview

OBSERVERVABLE ACTS

Editor-in-Chief: Norman Tan Photography: Michael Schwartz Stylist: Chloe Hartstein Groomer: Kristan Serafino Story: Wayne Cheong

Instead of a rooftop shoot that we had planned, we’re indoors at Dune Studios on Water Street. Outside, the weather is every writer’s dream: “It is an ash-streaked sky that portents a downpour.” “Like a warning, steel wool hangs overhead.” “A dishevelled blanket of grey that drifts languidly like detritus in a muddied pond.” A wet weather doth not a good shoot make.

When Joel Kinnaman arrives, the first thing you notice is how large he is. Bigger than life, broad-chested, he sometimes stands astride, like he’s about to break the spirit of a wild stallion. Then, there’s that presence; a sort of aura that’s quiet but still strong-arms you for your attention.

Just as the fashion shoot is about to start, Kinnaman asks if he could put on his own playlist for the shoot. He brings up his Spotify playlist, titled ‘For some of mankind’. ‘What Becomes of the Brokenhearted’ by Jimmy Ruffin plays.

“The playlists are just for fun,” Kinnaman tells me. “I’ve made a playlist for every project that I’ve been in.”

The project that this particular playlist was made for is For All Mankind, now playing on Apple TV+. It’s a show that puts forth the idea: what if America lost the space race to Russia?

Created and written by Ronald D Moore, the visionary behind the reimagined Battlestar Galactica and Outlander, For All Mankind stars Kinnaman as Edward Baldwin, a NASA astronaut who works alongside Buzz Aldrin (Chris Agos) and Neil Armstrong (Jeff Branson). Kinnaman’s character isn’t based on a particular historical figure, instead he is a composite or a representative of the ‘all-American’ astronauts of that era.

“I’m half-American and half-Swedish,” Kinnaman says. “I’ve lived in Sweden and America so, in a way, I’ve a split identity. My favourite part of the American spirit is not giving up. If they get knocked down, it is a national honour in getting back up and continuing the fight. In reality, when the US got to the moon, it concluded the space race. We didn’t get the continuation in space exploration that everyone was promised.”

Kinnaman is drawn to the science-fiction genre, fantasising of what could have been (though it can be said that the broad field of fiction can also put forward, ‘ what if’). Growing up, he watched the Star Wars movies, he loved the cyberpunk feel when he shot Altered Carbon. He is a fan of Blade Runner due to its dystopian future.

Do you think that sci-fi’s dystopian trope is becoming a reality? Kinnaman muses on that. “We’ve a president who is a national and international embarrassment. He’s immoral, a compulsive liar, a narcissist who doesn’t respect or appreciate democracy. I pray and hope that this nightmare would soon come to an end.

“But I believe we have the potential to overcome this. If we change paths and realign our focus in coming together as a human family, we can solve whatever problems that come our way together.”

This sentiment is echoed in For All Mankind, although the loss wasn’t the be-all and end-all for America. According to Moore, in losing the space race, America ends up the winner in the long run because of the continual effort into space exploration.

“Art can be a little lazy in pointing out the negatives. In many instances, the role that art and the artist play is showing us what’s wrong: that’s important but showcasing the positives is equally important. For All Mankind shows us how we should be operating if we are guided by our better angels.”

Physicist and theoretical biologist, Erwin Schrödinger, came up with a thought experiment. Imagine, if you will, a cat that’s sealed in a box. And inside that box is a device that might or might not kill the cat. Quantum theory states that quantum particles can exist in a superposition of states at the same time. Some even theorise that the quantum particles will collapse to a single state when it’s observed. When applied to Schrödinger’s cat, the feline is both dead and alive until you open the box.

Schrödinger came up with this thought experiment to explain that “misinterpreted simplification of quantum theory can lead to absurd results which don’t match real world quantum physics”. In the real world, it’s absurd that the cat is both dead and alive at the same time.

But one can also see this as an example of how the scientific theory works. Nobody really knows if a theory is right or wrong until it can be tested and proved. It’s like asking someone out on a date, you don’t know if that cute girl or guy will go out with you until you ask; the possibilities of rejection and acceptance remain in co-existence.

That is before you open the box.

Observe: Joel Kinnaman wouldn’t have existed if his father, Steve, had not defected from the US Army. An Indianapolis native, the elder Kinnaman was drafted and stationed in Bangkok, Thailand during the Vietnam War. While he was there, he started spending time with European backpackers, who have a different perspective of the war. A seed was planted. It finally blossomed when he attended a friend’s wedding in Laos. “It turned out that the woman’s family was half Laotian and half Vietnamese,” Kinnaman says. “It was an emotional moment for my dad. He asked himself if these were the people that he was going to kill.”

Still reeling from the love he had witnessed, the elder Kinnaman returned to his base. It was then that he was given the news that he was being reassigned to the battlefront in Vietnam.

In the history of war, the common punishment for desertion is death. According to the US Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 85, it is meted out “by death of other such punishment as a court-martial may direct”. (Since the Civil War, only one American serviceman was executed for desertion: Private Eddie Slovik in 1945.)

Knowing the penalties for desertion, the elder Kinnaman made the decision that night to leave camp. He hitchhiked his way up into northern Thailand and into Laos. He burned his passport, changed his name and passed off as Canadian. For the next four years, he lived life among the Laotians doing odd jobs. Then, he found out that Sweden grants asylum to Vietnam deserters. Since moving to Sweden, President Jimmy Carter eventually issued an amnesty in 1977. The elder Kinnaman continues to reside in Sweden. After his first marriage ended, he was involved with Bitte, a therapist. This relationship yielded Joel.

“I’ve been working on the script about his life,” Kinnaman says. “The idea would be that I’d play my dad but I’m getting a little old.” It’s a story to be told, one about the dangers of blind patriotism; a tool that’s often exploited by governments. “We need to be critical individuals who should make up our own minds.”

Observe: Kinnaman had his first taste of acting when he was 10. He played Felix Lundström on Storstad, a soap opera that looks at the lives of the residents living in the fictional town of Malmtorget. Back then, Sweden had only two TV channels so even if it’s a secondary or even tertiary role on an ensemble piece, people will recognise you. “I didn’t understand it,” Kinnaman says. “There was something thrilling about being famous but there was something I didn’t like about it either.” His whole experience as a child actor was underwhelming.

In fact, taking a page from ‘history repeating itself ’, observe as Kinnaman could have been a soldier in the Swedish army.

“It was mandatory for the men to be conscripted for a year in the army and it was during my time when the rules for enlistment started to relax,” Kinnaman says. “If you didn’t want to enlist, all you have to do is purposely fail the proficiency tests.”

Alas, Kinnaman was so caught up in the competition that he aced it. His results showed potential to be a company leader. He was enlisted and assigned to an 18-month tour in the Arctic Circle but Kinnaman plum forgot about it. When he moved to Oslo, Norway, to be a bartender, he received a call from his mother, informing him that there was a government notice stating that he was supposed to enlist in three days.

He called the army to tell them that he was no longer in the country. “They said, this is a serious offence and I could get prison time for this. But if I were to write a letter to explain the situation, I could get out of this.” And then he forgot to write the letter. Kinnaman continued working odd jobs but he was always haunted by the thought that if he were ever to be arrested by the police for anything, they might discover his draft dodge from his records and he would be sent to prison.

“I ended up at this fight outside a night club and got taken in by the police.” Kinnaman says. Observe: Kinnaman could have ended up serving his sentence for draft dodging but nothing came of it.

Acting was calling out to him once more. His friend, Gustaf Skarsgård (famously known for his role as Floki in History Channel’s Vikings), was on track to becoming an actor and advised Kinnaman to apply for theatre school. After several applications, Kinnaman finally got into what he describes as “Sweden’s second-best acting school” and would go on to film two movies during his enrolment.

After graduation, he continued acting in Sweden before moving to America. He kept himself busy. He made an appearance in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; starred as Governor Will Conway in House of Cards; made people notice with his portrayal as the homicide detective, Stephen Holder; scored the lead role in the Robocop remake; was cast as Rick Flag in Suicide Squad.

The one genre that Kinnaman can’t seem to appear in is comedy. Yes, he has a stern demeanour but the man is also funny. “Sometimes, Hollywood sees you in a certain way and it’s much easier to get cast for it. And the next is similar to that and so on. I haven’t made an effort to dissuade people’s opinion. The lighter side is probably more me.”

The closest he has gotten to doing comedy is the shooting of the Suicide Squad sequel. Helmed by James Gunn, Kinnaman said in another interview that it feels like he’s “shooting his first comedy”.

“I’ve been around tough people with issues before,” Kinnaman continues. “I’ve had some bad times so those kind of environments were natural to be in. It’s a survival mechanism too. A way for me to cope as I grew up. At the time, you’re figuring out about your identity. I felt insecure, powerless and didn’t know what to do in life.

“It was a period of my life that was pretty negative. But one of the beauties of acting is that those dark periods become a mother lode that you can mine from. Maybe I’ve drawn a little bit too much from it by playing too many tough guys.”

In May 2016, Kinnaman was one of the delegates and personalities from Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Finland and Sweden who was invited to one of President Obama’s final state dinners. Kinnaman, dressed in a sharp tuxedo, attended the dinner with his then-wife, Cleo Wattenström.

He overheard that the Obamas were fans of House of Cards and was looking forward to being introduced to them. At the reception, he and the other representatives stood in a row as President Obama made his way down the line, shaking hands and posing for a photo op. By Kinnaman’s admission, his mind wandered as he imagined what he’d say when President Obama came up to him. “Maybe I’d say, ‘Mr President’, and then he’ll say ‘Governor Conway’, and then we’ll laugh. And we’ll end it with a cool handshake.”

And all of a sudden, the president stood before him and Kinnaman muttered, “Mr President…” There was an awkward pause. Kinnaman would recount that it’s very possible that either the Obamas hadn’t watched the episode that he was in or if they did, his presence made zero impact. Before the silence could prolong, Kinnaman ended with, “thanks… for everything”. President Obama said something along the lines of, “Surely but surely, we cannot lose hope” and Kinnaman was ushered off.

He would retell this story when he introduced President Obama at Brilliant Minds, a conference of creative individuals who embody the forward-thinking spirit of Sweden, in June 2019. After the introduction, he returned backstage, where President Obama was waiting for his cue to go up. “He had this huge smile on his face and he said to me, ‘bring it in for a cool handshake.’ We hugged, we talked for about five minutes. He was super friendly. I’ll always remember that moment.”

Kinnaman isn’t shy about his politics. He voiced support for the #metoo movement; he had championed the environmental cause by one of his fellow Swedes, Greta Thunberg; he does not hide his disdain for the Trump administration.

“I think the last UN report stated that we have about eight years to turn back our carbon expenditure into the atmosphere,” Kinnaman says about where we’re heading as a species. “You don’t have to be a prophet to see that the world is heading towards the wrong direction. The oceans are heating up, the glaciers are melting. These natural disasters will be more frequent and that’s gonna lead to more tensions among countries.

“Politically, we’re moving towards a more nativist direction; people are pulling away from international cooperation. There’s the rise in disinformation campaigns, which will threaten democracy.”

But Kinnaman, ever the optimist, still believes in the human spirit, that we can innovate our way out of this quagmire.

Observe: Kinnaman, who was born with pectus excavatum, chose to correct the disorder instead of living with it.

Pectus excavatum is a chest-wall deformity that affects roughly one in 400. Instead of the breastbone being flush against the chest, it sinks in. Measured on a scale called the Haller index, anything above an index of 3.2 is considered severe. Kinnaman’s index was a seven or an eight.

“It’s something that’s survivable,” Kinnaman explains. “But it’s a condition that grows worse over time: your posture becomes worse; your stamina worsens as your heart is not given room to pump. By correcting it you can add years to your life.”

For a condition this severe, doctors had to insert two curved metal bars across his chest. Then the bars are turned to force the chest out and then the bars are wired to his ribs. The operation changed his life for the better. He doesn’t feel self-conscious whenever he removes his top. Six weeks after his surgery, he had to do reshoots for Suicide Squad. It was a fight sequence but Kinnaman sucked it up. “Would you like to feel it?” He asked.

He raised his arm like an invitation. I reached out and felt the spot, where the metal bars are, beneath the fabric and skin.

That’s an interesting party trick, I say. Kinnaman could only chuckle in response.

“It’s funny, if you ask me to say a line from a movie that I’ve been in before, I can’t. Not one line from any movie that I’ve done but I once did a monologue that was one hour and 30 minutes and I knew it by heart after 10 days.”

Kinnaman used to opine that as a Swedish American, growing up with dual cultures gives him a better perspective of the world but that also left him feeling like he doesn’t belong. He jumps from place to place, leading a nomadic existence.

“But I think,” he says as though he had stumbled upon some great truth a long time back, “I don’t wanna travel so much any more. Home. That’s where I’d like to be. I have two bases: one in Venice, LA and the other, an hour outside Stockholm.

“Growing up, my family didn’t have any money. We lived in this tiny little cottage that was in the middle of the woods. Now, I have this piece of land, where my family lives. This past midsummer was the first midsummer that we all spent together.

“That’s my new happy place.”

Joel Kinnaman looks like a man who has placed the final piece in that mystery of his life. He has stopped worrying about how he’s perceived by the public. He has exorcised people who have “struggled with jealousy, who don’t have a natural inclination towards generosity”. He has zero tolerance against bullshit. He likes how his career is shaping up—aside from Suicide Squad 2, For All Mankind is now filming a second season, and Kinnaman has three films coming out: The Informer; The Sound of Philadelphia and The Secrets We Keep; the last two, he avers, are his best work. “People who have watched me for a long time, it will remind them of my early career and for people who recently followed me, they will see a new side of me.

“I have goals that I’d like to achieve. Actor awards are such bullshit… until you get one. But yeah, that would be great. In future, I’d definitely want to be in a producing role and at some point, I’d like to also direct.

“I’ve said that I’d direct in five years time for about 10 years now.” That might change. His life is still a long and open road ahead.

Schrodinger’s cat posits two states that the creature can be in—dead or alive. But what if there’s a third option. That within the confines of the box, the cat is not there. It’s escaped. Unburdened from the stipulations of a thought experiment, free to do what it wants.

#photoshoot #magazine #joel kinnaman #esquire singapore #interview #we feed on scraps of new info #ive linked his Spotify playlist for people who missed it in march

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jungkookfeelz · 4 years

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Not What You Expected 6

Description: After years of dating Min Yoongi and starting a life together, he ends your relationship out of nowhere. Will you finally find out why the love of your life left you in the cold?

Words: 3K

Notes: Well that’s that. If you have any questions, or suggestions for future work, message away! I hope you guys enjoyed this series, I can’t tell you how thankful I am with all the support so far. Thank you so much. ^.^

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"Why the fuck are you laughing" Yoongi yelled, it wasn't time to play games with him, he wanted answers. You understood that this was a serious situation, but you couldn't help but start to laugh. You doubled over and held your stomach to relieve some of the pain. You were thinking of something completely different but finally understanding why he left you made you question everything. As soon as you stopped laughing, you wiped a tear and looked at Yoongi, who is glaring at you with a raised hand holding still his phone to your face

"Because Yoongi, that" You pointed at the phone "is my brother"

"He's your....what?" Yoongi stuttered. How could he not know that was your brother, you have been dating for so long and haven't been told about your sibling?

"My brother, I know I didn't tell you about him and I will take responsibility for that, but why wouldn't you ask me first? Why do what you did? You could have talked to me, like a mature adult, I was going to tell you when I surprised you in America that I met with my brother but you didn't give me that chance" You put your head down, looking at your hands. You had to close your eyes and count to ten in your head, you needed to be calm

"Since when do you have a brother? " Yoongi diverted your questions. It didn't make sense that you could have a brother and not tell him unless you're lying again, which was the best option he could go with. "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not lying to you, but you don't get to ask me all these questions after everything" You demanded. You wanted to tell him, but not because he forced you too. "All you really need to know...to help you deal with your bruised ego is that I always had a brother but had a falling out with him because of my parents selfishness and didn't want to burden you with knowing my past that even I don't want to remember" You were pissed, you would never lie. You promised him from the day he asked you to be his that you would never lie to him, you would never go back on your word even if you weren't together anymore. "I wanted to move on, and you gave me that chance to be the person I have always wanted to be, I didn't want to remember how shitty my life was before I met you and the rest of the boys. It is my fault that I didn't tell you but that shouldn't have been an excuse for what you did to me...I trusted you and you took that trust and left me in a foreign country to fend for myself and try to get home on my own, not even bothering to give me one fucking phone call to make sure I made it back safely. I have always been there for you, did everything for you, and for you to automatically assume that I could betray you like that is just disgraceful" You took a moment to breathe before continuing your rant. "and how fucking dare you belittle my name in my own workplace, get me fired and laugh about it, you turned our treasured relationship into nothing in front of people who I considered my best friends and some random fucking stranger, who by the way I know you only brought to antagonize me. I have never been as disgusted by a person's actions as I am with yours." You sneered, pointing a finger at his chest. You couldn't explain how good it felt for you to finally tell him what you have been feeling for months, you now were the one breathing heavy, your face hot with too many negative emotions. You didn't cry. That, you were proud of.

Yoongi didn't say anything, just staring at his ex-lover wide-eyed. He never knew that you had a terrible childhood, he understood why you didn't tell him but it hurt knowing that you suffered and he didn't know. He wonders what could have possibly happened between your family that teared up your relationship with your brother but he knew he wasn't in any position to ask anymore. Yoongi never expected to hear this, he never realized what kind of situation he put you in since America, he was so worried about his own feelings that he forgot to make sure you were okay, he even told the rest of the guys to never contact you even though they really wanted to, he went as far to go through their phones and delete any contact information they had to reach her.

He knew there were no excuses for his actions, he formed his mouth to say something, anything but he knew that he couldn't make the issue any lighter. How did we come to this?

You ran around the kitchen grabbing and throwing ingredients in a mixing bowl. Yoongi was finally coming home after a two-month tour with Bangtan and you couldn't be more excited You wanted to bake him a cake but it wasn't going to great, you lost track of time and realized that Yoongi was coming home in about two hours and you haven't even picked a cake yet. You grabbed a cup of flour, in the process of walking to the kitchen island where the mixing bowl was, you tripped which resulted in all of the flour to land all over your body

"Oh no," You moaned, you looked down at yourself, dissatisfied with how you looked. You put down the measuring cup and tried to wipe yourself down, not caring about the floor.

"What is going on?" You whipped around and saw Yoongi standing at the doorway of the kitchen with a suitcase beside him. He smiled at your cute appearance before opening his arms, inviting you to a hug. You grinned from ear to ear before running at him at full force, tackling him. He caught you with ease and hugged you tight to him

"I missed you so much baby" He mumbled into your ear, chuckling at how disastrous the kitchen looked

"I didn't even hear you come in"

"I can see you were preoccupied

"Hey! Don't tease me, I wanted to make you a cake but it's not working" You frowned, getting out of your boyfriend's grasp.

"Hey, hey it's okay let me help you" He grabbed your hand before dragging you into the mess. He took an egg in his hand and looked over at you, you were trying to figure out how to clean up the kitchen, he walked right behind you and cracked it on your head. You gasped in shock, jumping in surprise.

"What's next? Milk?" Yoongi chuckled, reaching for the milk

"NO! What are you doing?" You screeched, Yoongi cocked his head to the side in confusion

"I thought we were making a cake?"

"Yeah, in a bowl. Not on me!"

"But I thought you're my dessert" Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing at you blushing in embarrassment.

You giggle and shake your head "Oh my god you perv" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Yah, Taehyung stop it" Yoongi muttered, trying to sleep as Taehyung had kept poking his Hyung to wake him up "I'll kill you" the younger boy laughed at his Hyung's threat, not believing it for a second. After a few more pokes Yoongi has had enough

"You little shit" Yoongi jumped out of his seat and tackled Taehyung to the ground causing a bunch of giggles to burst from the other guys in the room. What made Yoongi stop was when he heard something clatter to the ground, right away the room silenced. Because Jin was the closest to the two boys on the ground he picked up the black box that fell out of his friends pocket

"What is this?" Jin asked what everyone was thinking

"Well since it's out, I guess I have to tell you" fiddling with his hands, Yoongi looked at all the boys in the dressing room slowly getting ready to perform as they were about to go on stage in their world tour, currently performing in America. He got up and patted his jeans clean from falling on the ground. "I'm planning to propose to Y/N, and I need your help" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the rapper, clear shock on their faces.

"Holy shit, seriously? I didn't know you were ready for that yet" Namjoon spoke first

"Yeah, are you sure you're ready for this?" Hoseok asked after the leader. Yoongi didn't hesitate to express his emotions. He isn't normally good at that but he needed to let his best friends know.

"I love her, I can't imagine my life without her. She means everything to me, I would drop everything just to be able to wake up next to her every day" but before Yoongi can finish his small rant they were interrupted by their manager, telling them they had to get on stage.

"Let's do this" Jimin beamed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the successful show, they all went back to their dressing rooms to cool down before going back to their hotels to rest. Yoongi took out his phone while the rest of the guys were busy getting ready to leave and saw a missed call, realizing it's a number he didn't know he ignored it thinking it's probably a scam. Dropping his phone, he took off his jacket and set it on the couch beside his chair, fanning himself. While he was wiping off the sweat on his face his phone started ringing. He glanced at his phone, he noticed it was the same number as before, he frowned deciding to answer it anyways.

"Hello?" Yoongi answered

"Hello, Mr. Min Yoongi, this is Kim Ha-Joon, a reporter from the Indigo Korean Media Company, I have some information for you, are you alone?" Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion

"What is this about?"

"I have some information regarding your partner Y/N, I just sent you a document regarding her activities while you were on tour. Since this is my job to report this to the media, I decided to tell you in advance...as a courtesy, unless you're willing to pay me to keep quiet, please look at the document that I sent. Call me back when you have come to a decision, hope you had a pleasant day, goodbye" The line went dead.

"What the hell" Yoongi muttered to himself, quiet enough for the other boys to not hear. He pulled the phone away from his ear and went into his Email, to see what kind of document the reporter was talking about. As soon as he clicked on the photos his heart stopped. Y/N was photographed walking into another man's home with the timestamp of 3:17pm, the next photo was her walking out at 5:12pm hugging the man on the front porch, another waving back at him before getting into her car. He started to shake, his breathing wavered. He didn't know what he was seeing, all he knew was that it was making him sick., he wanted to throw up. Yoongi quickly walked out of the dressing room and into the bathroom across the hall, pushing the stall door open with a loud 'bang' he fell to his knees and released all the pain into the toilet bowl.

It's been a few days since Yoongi found out about you, about your betrayal. He didn't tell any of the other boys yet, pretending that everything was okay, even though you did something unspeakable, he protected you. He still loved you. Yoongi was walking through the hallway, taking his time to meet the other boys in the dressing rooms. Apparently, there was a surprise that he needed to be there. He didn't want to be around anyone but he couldn't really tell anyone, making his emotions go crazy. As he walked closer to the room he heard laughing, but more specifically...your laughing. The innocent giggle that passed your lips. Yoongi couldn't help it, he felt outraged, how could you laugh like you did nothing wrong? He dashed into the room, looking around quickly before spotting you, laughing with Jungkook.

“You shouldn’t have come here Y/N” Yoongi sneered “I didn’t want you to come here, nobody did, you’re just getting in our way” Yoongi didn’t even hesitate, didn’t stutter. He looked at you with hatred, no matter how much he wanted you here he couldn't stand another second pretending nothing had happened. “Get out” Yoongi held his ground he didn't want you to see the pain in his eyes as he said this. Yoongi knew that the guys were going to freak out on him later on but he didn't care. Yoongi noticed your face pale when he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you out of the room knowing you wouldn’t say or do anything to stop him. As soon as you were out of the room Yoongi slammed the door in your face. He stared back at all of the bewildered faces of his band members

"What the fuck was that Yoongi!?"

"Hyung!"

"What are you doing!?"

"Why would you do that!?"

He could hear a few of the members scream at the same time. Seeing you made him snap, his eyes started watering and his breathing shook, he couldn't hold his pain in anymore, he started sobbing, turning around facing the door he just kicked you out of. His heart shattered. The rest of the members forgot about the situation with Y/N, making the health of the broken rapper in front of them the number one priority. They wrapped their arms around Yoongi and comforted him, they all fell to the floor only hearing his loud sobs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You waited for a response for a few minutes now, watching Yoongi stand there, flabbergasted. You sighed, pushing your hair back from your face.

"Yoongi, you need to respond at some point, I don't have all day" You stated

"I...just...I don't know what to say, is that actually your brother?" He managed to get out.

"Are you serious? You still choose not to believe me? you're so infuriating" frustrated, you put your hands on your hair and pulled, walking back and forth in his small studio.

"You can't blame me, this is...this is a lot to take in, you were supposed to trust me, we were in a serious relationship, you should've talked to me"

You glared at him "I could say the same for you" at your statement, Yoongi visibly cringed, he couldn't tell if it was because of what you had said or the terrifying look you had given him. You were too tired to stand anymore so you walked over the couch by the desk and sat down, putting your hands on your face, leaning forwards onto your legs. You didn't know what else to say, you had said practically everything you wanted him to know.

Lost in your own thoughts you didn't notice Yoongi sit next to you on the couch until you felt his knee touch yours. You tense up trying to move away from him slowly to not gain his attention. You straighten up to be able to get his form into your line of vision, to make sure he didn't come any closer. You didn't know if you would be able to stop yourself if he touched you, really touched you.

"I'm..I'm sorry Y/N"

"I don't need your apology, I needed an explanation" You looked at him again, seeing him look so defeated and guilty you gained confidence in yourself "and so I got that, maybe it's time that I left...for good" when he didn't respond you got up sighing, you at least thought he would put up a fight after finding out that you didn't actually cheat on him. He grabbed your wrist before you could get anywhere and stood up slowly

"Is there any way you can forgive me?" His voice was quiet, he wasn't confident in himself anymore.

You took a few moments to think about a response, wanting to give him and yourself the right answer "I think so...in the future" nodding your head towards him. Yoongi frowned

"Do you think you could ever take me back?"

"No." You didn't hesitate. You don't trust him anymore, no matter what he could do to change your mind you wouldn't be able to. You know what he can do when he feels threatened and you don't want to be on the other side of his wrath anymore.

"Oh," he pulled his arm back like he was electrocuted. No matter how much he deserved this he didn't want to hear it.

"I'm sorry" You didn't have a reason to be but felt like it was appropriate to say it at this time, Yoongi shook his head, telling you he understands where you are coming from, he wouldn't go back to himself either if he were you. "I have to go now, take care of yourself Yoongi, don't make the same mistake with the next lucky girl to capture your heart" You smiled. You wanted to leave this conversation on a good note, somewhat. It broke your heart to say goodbye to him but you knew it was for the best, for both of you.

"...goodbye Y/N" he whispered, his voice cracked saying your name. You turned around quickly not being able to look at him anymore and walked towards the door, you opened the door and let yourself out, closing the door behind you quietly before leaving his life for good.

Admin Min <3

#im not crying u r #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #bts #bts jimin #bts hoesok #bts namjoon #bts jungkook #bts yoongi #bts taeyhung #bts jin #bts one shot #bts imagines

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dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years

Text

Unforgettable-Final Chapter

Also on AO3 A very special thanks to @statell for all your help

Chapter Nine

A young man knocks hard on a wood pole of a tukul, a round shelter made of grasses, mud, and wood poles, very common in South Sudan and the only type of structure on this UN base. It is officially known as the United Nations Protection of Civilians Site Bentiu. It was constructed outside the scorched city of Bentiu in the poorest nation of central Africa. The civil war had been raging for three years and when a peace treaty was signed in 2015 it failed to stop the fighting, so the war raged on.

The young man knocked harder on the tukul making the structure wobble in its feebleness. “Claire! Wake up! Treatment three and hurry! The door opened in a rush and Claire stood on the other side pushing her t-shirt into her pants.

“Jesus, I hate waking up to a flood of adrenalin! Nabbi when the tukul shakes like that the creatures in the grass roof fall to the ground, or on me.”

Nabbi smiled mischievously at his favorite nurse, “and now you are up and need very high, doctor says run!”

Claire felt her thighs burning as she sprinted to the treatment ward. Rounding the corner she saw both doctors bent over bodies that were unrecognizable. Casualties of government soldiers shooting, raping, and burning a village in the night.

Sterile gloves slapped back on her hands that were held aloft. There were no sterile gowns and no clean water on most days.

“I’m ready!

A long stream of Gaelic profanity was growled as Jamie threw his instruments on the wooden tray. He hung his head wondering what the intensive nine-month training he endured was for as he lost more than he saved. The patient was removed by workers and another mangled mess was placed on his table. Claire held his gloves open and his huge hands jammed into them.

“Pea! On the double, bring a clamp pack, this boy is bleeding out!

Claire felt like she never stopped running when the wounded arrived from a village raid.

“Clamp the arteries as fast as you can. I have the chest, you take the abdomen. We can save this one if we hurry.”

Claire’s steady hand held the row of clamps as she jammed the forceps into one and pinched a bleeder off by squeezing it around the vessel. She worked fast from three months of practice at this level of trauma. Her eyes flicked at Jamie every few minutes because she was worried about him. He was losing weight and had dark circles under his eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw him smile.

“Eyes on the bleeders sweet pea, your betrothed is fine, just frustrated.”

“I’m worried, Cutter, he doesn’t look well, as a matter of fact, either do you. Thank Christ we’re getting out of here in four days.”

(NSFW under the cut.)

Hours later they each had a bucket of semi-clean water to pour over their heads. One bucket per day. Claire spent many hours daydreaming about long showers with her favorite scented body wash and it was finally just four days away. She took a seat next to Jamie at the grub table and ran her hand down his leg. Looking up at his tired face made her long to lay in his arms and kiss him to sleep. She missed him. Nine months of working his practice while completing his field training had kept him away from her and then they were off to South Sudan to do their part with Doctors Without Borders. He had done that for her and now she just wanted to get him home.

She thought about the visiting doctor they met the week before. He, Jamie, and Cutter had much to talk about allowing Claire to watch his face, the slump of his shoulders, and his haunted eyes. He headed a research team of five other doctors that were sent to Africa to treat the outbreak of Ebola. Once their treatment protocol was established, he flew back to the states to compile the mountain of data that would be coming. All five of those doctors, his colleagues, and friends, died a horrifying death and their corpses were left rotting in the jungle until procedures were developed to bring them safely home.

Claire recognized the symptoms of survivor's syndrome, his guilt that he survived when his team did not was taking a toll on his promising life. Snuffing out the flame that once burned bright. Their contribution to the treatment of Ebola would save thousands of lives, possibly millions in the future. Once the paper was published the doctor resigned his position at Harvard Medical, locked his lab, and left civilization. Now he headed a program for monitoring the doctors on the front lines of emerging pathogens. He had come to examine the medical staff and clear them to return to America.

Cutter left to write a letter to his wife and Claire asked Jamie to take a walk with her. The compound walls stretched for a mile in each direction and U.N. peacekeepers manned the turrets along the wall with machine guns. It was crowded with people seeking refuge from the war making a relaxing walk impossible. Claire’s mantra played over and over in her head, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home.

New doctors arrived two days later and spent twelve hours with Jamie and Cutter, learning the base, the wards, and the one-hundred seventy patients being treated. They walked through the rape ward where the girls and women were kept away from the other patients. Little was said about the brutality of the attacks. They would find out soon enough.

The pediatric ward was last. It was Jamie’s poison to watch the babies, sick with Cholera, malaria, or malnutrition succumb to their illness, week after week. Cutter had taken over the tour and Jamie sought out the quiet of their tukul. When Claire found him later, he was respondent.

“I’m sorry we came here Jamie, I’m sorry you are suffering because of me. Please talk to me before I die from sadness. I am left to guess what has struck you down, pulled you away from me. When it didn’t happen after three months, I thought I wasn’t cursed anymore. Wh…when you didn’t turn against me I mean, I thought we were safe. It just took a little longer this time, right Jamie? Now you hate everything I do and every breath I take.”

She put her arms around him and cried the words out until he turned to her and held her closely, shushing her and saying no.

“My sweet Sassenach, stop, ye dinna speak my truth lass, I’ve never loved ye more. Ye break my heart when ye cry like that.”

“Then tell me what it is and if we’re over Jamie.”

“We are powerless to save these people that have come here to die. We have no supplies, no sterile theater, and no freshwater. We are but undertakers for the almost dead. The babies, so innocent, so sick, have no chance. Born to a short life of misery. Where is God Sassenach? I can kill a man, face to face because I battle the devil. I would feel better to be let out of here where I can do some good.”

Jamie stood up abruptly and started walking to the door like he would walk out of the base and join the war.

“No!” Claire jumped on him crying no. Begging him to stop, not to leave her, not to die. “Tomorrow Jamie, we leave this dreadful place tomorrow. Please, don’t break my heart today!” She jumped off of him and ran to the door to stand in front of it.

“Let me out, Claire”

“You will have to hurt me for that to happen because I’m not moving! I understand how you feel now, and I agree, this was a terrible choice of location. In sixteen hours we board a plane to get out of this hell, why can’t you hold on until then?”

Jamie knew he wasn’t making sense and he knew this was the last night here. He took a deep breath and held his arms out to Claire.

“Please, Sassenach. Let’s go to bed, and I promise to just hold ye all night. Please, Claire, stop cryin, we will get out tomorrow and go back to our life. Come here.”

Claire flew into his arms and he carried her to bed, to hold her, until morning when this nightmare was over. She couldn’t relax until she pulled a piece of twine from her belongings and tied it around Jamie’s wrist. With much effort and Jamie’s help, the other end was tied around her wrist. She found a comfortable spot but woke up through the night to make sure he was still there.

Before they left, Claire found Cutter coming out of the surgical ward covered in blood.

“Shirt off Cutter.”

He smiled wickedly and pulled his shirt over his head. Claire held him around his middle and cried. She would miss him until they met again next year to find a new location for the summer. Jamie came up behind them and told Cutter to get his disgusting hands off his future wife. The two men shook hands and hugged, both feeling the relief this trip was over.

“Until next time friend,” Jamie said through a smile.

Claire stowed their bags and busied herself with grabbing a blanket for Jamie. She was able to get stiff drinks for both of them when they were finally in the air. She passed a mixed drink and a shot of whisky to Jamie, looking back a minute later to see two empty glasses. She got on her knees and released Jamie’s seat kissing him sweetly. That and the alcohol sent him into the quiet of his dreams for the next five hours. Claire felt relief this exhausted man could sleep, and she guarded him from the steward and other passengers that might wake him. They were accustomed to the brutal heat of South Sudan and she noticed Jamie shaking in his sleep. She turned the airflow away from him and then covered him with the blanket.

When they were notified of landing for their connection, she stroked his arm to avoid jolting him awake. Jamie pulled the armrest up and pulled her to him, covering both of them with the blanket.

Claire leaned into his neck and felt powerful arms around her. She had not felt this close to him in a very long time and wished they could cuddle for another hour. There was another huge feeling in her stomach at the same time. Her phone! She could make calls while they waited for their connection and she was bursting with excitement. She was digging in her purse while they disembarked the plane making Jamie laugh.

“Who will be first Sassenach?”

“Jenny of course,” said as she punched her speed dial.

Jamie looked down at her marveling at her ability to accept changes in her life and then put the effort into creating the life she wanted. He remembered his sister’s stone face when they met for lunch so long ago. Jenny was convinced he had become a total tool and womanizer and nothing he said would change her mind. He was so disappointed she was making him choose between her and Claire. When Claire asked him to invite Jenny and Ian for dinner one weekend, he decided it was time for Claire to know the family dynamic at play. Claire sat across from him at the kitchen table and listened to the timeline he shared with Geneva and how she poisoned Jenny’s mind against her. She felt sad for Jamie because there was now an ultimatum standing between him and Lallybroch. I can fix this, she thought, just need a little luck.

Over the next week, she checked in with Geillis and Laoghaire to get caught up on the details of Geneva’s life. She broached the subject at the club when her friends were three sheets to the wind.

“So I understand Jamie dated this girl Geneva while I was gone. I totally understand because I told him I was not coming back to Scotland, ever. Now she has lied to his sister about their relationship, so I need all her details girls.”

“Her family is rich and she flaunts that over everyone since she was in elementary.” Laoghaire was clearly harboring a dislike for the lady and Claire seized the opportunity.

“I heard she was really nice,” Claire lied.

“She is not nice! She’s a cold, calculating bitch actually. She was all sweet to me until Jamie dumped her and now she doesn’t seem to recognize me. That’s okay, she is gettin what’s due her now.”

“Do tell sweetheart,” Claire inched her chair closer to her friend.

Geillis started to laugh wickedly, “the lass got herself knocked up by some hotshot, handsome, rich, and new to the area. He’s developing the new mall and already well known around town. They were datin for a month and she told him at her birthday party she was pregnant. He instantly left the party and she cried for the rest of the night. We were there and saw the whole thing.”

Claire’s mind was churning the facts and she smiled broadly at her two best friends. ”Is that a fact?”

It took two days for Jamie to fall asleep before she did and she took his phone outside and sent a text message to Geneva to meet him at the house tomorrow, twelve noon. Then she deleted the message and blocked text messages from her.

When she answered the door the next day, she leaned against the door jam and stuck out her hand with a smile. Geneva was not happy about the intrusion of this girl and demanded to see Jamie.

“Of course, come in, let’s get acquainted. I’m Claire by the way, Jamie’s girlfriend.”

It took some persuading to get Geneva to the kitchen table where she could deliver the coup de grace.

“I am so happy to spend time with you before Jamie gets here. You see, his sister Jenny has a misconception of your relationship, and it's causing a rift in the family. I want you to fix that, today.”

Geneva snorted a weak laugh and looked at Claire with utter disdain. “Not likely, I told her the truth. I feel sorry for you because you were duped by Jamie. He was with me, actively with me, until a week before he broke it off. We talked about getting married and then suddenly he was done with me. Poor baby, you’re next.”

“I know the truth of it Geneva and you will come clean to Jenny, today. If you don’t, it’s high time your father knows about your pregnancy to a guy that has run from any association with you. An abortion, trapping him with a paternity test or just hoping he comes back will do nothing but tarnish your family’s good name. You’re a social parasite Geneva and I can see your father cut off your support and throw you to the streets to cohabitate with others as misguided as you. You must be working on solutions to your situation so tell Jenny the truth and I leave you alone. Otherwise, everyone in town will know, including your parents.”

Claire smiled sweetly at Geneva and waited until she bolted out of the house cursing under her breath. She could only hope she was right about the family dynamic and how this news would poison Geneva’s position in it.

Jamie came home the next night with company. His contrite sister was there to apologize to Claire and ask to start over with her. Claire was over the moon and made plans with Jenny for a night out on the town the following weekend so the four of them could have some fun. It was like magic to a grateful Jamie. The four of them got on so well and Claire and Jenny started a friendship that would bond them to each other like sisters.

Jamie grabbed the phone from Claire and asked Jenny to hold on a minute. He pulled Claire to his lips and kissed her deeply sparking a look in her eyes that made him weak. He handed the phone back and dropped his head to the back of his chair, asleep in minutes.

The wait for their connection was long enough for Claire to check in with Laoghaire and Geillis also. She drifted to the gift shop and purchased a beautiful bracelet made in Africa. She felt done with the excursions into remote parts of the world to render aid to the less fortunate. She just felt empty inside for such an effort again. Deep inside she knew the reason. She had her suspicions for a month but couldn’t confirm it. She felt lonely suddenly and walked quickly back to Jamie who was awake.

“Hey, sunshine, how do you feel?”

“Sleepy Sassenach. I want ye to keep me awake so tell me a story, aye?.”

Claire held her breath, wanting so badly to tell him her truth.

“Jamie, I think I’m pregnant.”

He stared at her for a good minute, expressionless, “stay here Sassenach, I’ll be right back.”

Jamie ran to the boarding counter and asked where he could find a drugstore in the airport. He sprinted away while Claire watched in total confusion. He must absolutely hate the idea, she thought as she slipped into depression.

Ten minutes later Jamie ran back with a small bag and lifted Claire to her feet guiding her to the ladies' room.

He put the bag in her hand and pushed her into the room, looking wide-eyed, almost wild.

Claire took the pregnancy test out of the bag and read the instructions. She still could not read Jamie’s emotions and felt her folly at surprising him with something life-changing and yet unverified. Holding the stick in the air to dry it she looked at the results window and felt her world tilt. It took so long to get to the sink when she looked at herself in the mirror Jamie was standing behind her.

“May I see it, Sassenach,” he whispered, looking at Claire’s pale face.

When she lifted the stick for him, he grabbed her and spun her around until she was dizzy. She smiled weakly at him trying to take in his reaction. He was absolutely beaming and kissed her face a dozen times telling her this was the best news. He gushed over her ability to make him deliriously happy, neither of them noticing a toilet flushing and a woman join them at the sink. She smiled knowingly at the two young people in love.

Spoken with a Swedish accent she told them, “now you must get off the street and get a job for your baby. You will be very happy.” She walked out of the restroom leaving Jamie and Claire clearly shocked at what she said.

Claire bent over laughing at the comment. “No shower for three months makes us look like bums on the street!”

Jamie looked like he had seen an angel and wrapped her up in his powerful arms.

“Sassenach, when we land in Scotland, I will have an agenda that will keep my mind occupied for at least two days. I willna have the brain space to utter a single sentence I’m afraid. Come, lass, let’s talk about this miracle and makin an honest woman of ye while I can.”

Jamie pulled her back to their seats and looked at a confused Claire.

“I don’t understand Jamie, what is so important for you when we get home?”

Jamie held her cheek and sighed, letting her see his need for her, making her squirm in her seat. “Oh, I see, well that trumps everything, doesn’t it? I love you Jamie and as long as you still look at me that way, I fear nothing.”

The second leg of their trip home, Claire curled up against Jamie and dove into the calming sea of her dreams. Jamie pulled her head to his lap and made sure nothing and no one disturbed her. It was a magic seven hours for him as he contemplated the family of his future with the fierce loving, free spirit who slept in his lap.

When the front door opened, two battle-weary lovers dropped their duffle bags and struggled to the shower. Jamie covered Claire with her favorite body wash followed by scented shampoo that made her moan with pleasure. He pulled the shower curtain aside and wrapped her in luxurious towels before heading back for his own time with the soap. When he emerged, the beard and mustache were quickly eliminated, and he felt like a new man anxious to devour his love in the slowest, most thorough way possible. He walked into the bedroom with his curls dripping water onto his shoulders and found Claire sitting on the side of the bed, head jerking up from falling asleep. His heart nearly melted in his chest as he pulled her to him and held her down until sleep came and took her away.

Claire woke up feeling groggy from her deep sleep. She knew they had two days to re-acclimate before work pulled them apart. Jamie looked like an angel to her as he slept. She could take a bit of time to recreate the body she preferred. She snuck quietly to the second bathroom and filled the bath with hot water and scented bubble bath. She placed two new razors on the tub and scraped off the unwanted hair that invaded her most intimate body parts over the last three months. It was liberating and unleashed her arousal, dormant for so long. By the time she was done, it was a struggle not to jump on Jamie and win her release that was throbbing between her legs.

Standing at the foot of the bed, she watched him sleep, noticing the room had become grey with the coming sunrise. She knelt to kiss his feet, followed by his calves, licking the back of his knees and causing him to gasp. She ran her tongue slowly up the back of his legs and buried her face under his buttocks to lick his balls until he flipped over and looked at her.

Jamie struggled to contain his need to pound her and his mind was full of this wonderful woman. I must slow my heart, he thought. She is kneeling over me naked and I canna get enough of her, clean shaved, smelling like sex. Her hair is falling around her face as she runs her eyes up and down my body. Jesus, she is beautiful and has no idea how I want to take her. Brutally, lovingly, dominating her body and mind until she gives in to me. I must fight the urge to consume her. She is the mother of my child and I will use all my strength not to overpower her. God, when she pulls my nipple into her mouth it strips my resolve. I want to take her, my way, without consent, without mercy, until she’s mine.

“Sassenach, my love, come here.”

She is resistant. Careful lass, dinna tempt me, I’m no that strong. What is this? No, not a good idea, keep yer beautiful mouth away from me. It’s not fair but oh…my…God it feels so good. Jesus lass, stop or I’ll come down yer throat before I can worship yer body. Come here, love.

Claire felt Jamie pull her to his lips and crush her. He flipped her over and pulled her legs apart feasting his eyes on her gorgeous pussy. She dropped her fingers to her fold and held it apart for him to gorge himself on her throbbing core. She arched her back into her first orgasm and tried to pull him to her. He entered her softly and slowly making her pant for more. She grabbed his face to her and looked him in the eye.

“I don’t want Sunday school. If I say, uncle, I do the wash for both of us. Show me how much you love me Jamie, right now, and don’t hold back or I’ll go back to sleep, I swear I will.”

For the next thirty minutes, Claire felt the power of Jamie and it thrilled her as he pulled her into the most intimate and edgy positions that most women would push away from. She opened her body to him, and he feasted, growling into his orgasm that stung his balls as he ejaculated. Claire was vaguely aware of the quilt pulling up to cover them and Jamie’s soft kisses on her face. They were clinging to each other as they fell into another five hours of sleep only to repeat the intensity once again.

Many hours later, Claire heard the quiet ringtone alerting her to a call coming in. She patted the bed until she found the offending phone and opened her eyes just before clicking the dismiss button. She answered hoping she could stay awake long enough to let him talk.

“Joe, why are you calling in the middle of the night?”

“It is one in the afternoon gorgeous and it’s time to get up.”

“No, it’s time to sleep some more dear one. What do you want?”

“I want to say welcome back to civilization, hear about your tour in Sudan, and one more thing Claire.”

She looked at the phone and shook her head, trying to wake up. “What other thing Joe?”

“I found Luna.”

“What?!”

“She’s in an orphanage Claire, has been since the raid on the hospital. The rebels leveled the settlements nearby and Luna’s family was wiped out. Thank God those monsters have respect for the innocent. I thought you would want to know.”

Claire was on her feet and pounding Joe with questions as she paced the bedroom. Running for her laptop she brought up the URL Joe dictated and raced through the pictures of babies and children that were up for adoption. Her fingers abruptly stopped when she found the face of her angel and she gasped at the sight of her.

“Jesus Christ Joe, she’s been in that place for over a year! How can I get her out?”

“It’s not easy Claire, but someone has to help her.”

Joe gave Claire the number to call the adoption agency in Honduras and what little he had discovered about Luna. He warned her the adoption protocols were temporarily closed for unknown reasons and forwarded the email listing the steps to adopt a child from a country outside of Honduras. It included two stays in-country to live among the culture of the child as the agency went over her dossier.

Claire was crying with the love and fear she felt for Luna and promised Joe she would keep him posted. When she felt Jamie’s hand on her bare shoulder she looked up into compassionate eyes and she felt him say, I’m here to help you, trust me with your truth, I will help you bring her home.

Claire clicked off from Joe and dissolved into her tears and fears while Jamie held her with his strength.

Jamie looked at the pictures of Luna on the website and felt his heart open up and pull her in. Her face was the picture of innocence, her huge eyes revealed her loveless life and fear. He waited for Claire to be distracted and returned to her picture again and again. Claire loves this beautiful little girl like she was her own. Something had to be done.

Luna became their project during their off-hours. Returning to work was hard enough, but Luna was a constant presence in both their minds. The requirement for being considered as an adoption family were rigid including two prolonged stays in-country. When Jamie brought that up Claire would start shaking and he could see the war going on in her head.

“Stay in Honduras for two weeks? I could see Luna during that time, but we must be invited and they have had our dossier for three weeks, Jamie. When are we going to hear from them?”

Claire was clearly scared shitless about entering that country again, even when Jamie assured her the city was safe. He talked it over with John during an afternoon hike when Claire was working. When John bid him farewell he followed up with, “I’m going with her Jamie because you can’t. Tell her to schedule the visit right away before I’m assigned to a case.”

When Jamie told Claire John would go with her to Honduras she cried and hung on his neck. Within a week, Claire was invited by the agency to come and see Luna. Jamie had mixed feelings letting go of her at the airport.

“Sassenach, I’m so sorry I canna go with ye. Are ye alright with John lass?”

She looked into his eyes feeling such gratitude he would let her go without him. She smiled and kissed him before breaking out of his embrace to jog to her boarding gate. John settled into the seat next to her and complained that her pregnancy put a stop to partying enroute to Honduras.

“You’re a very selfish person, curbing my happiness on this trip. I just wanted you to know that Claire.”

She smiled at him and got comfortable for the long plane ride to a country she hated.

They strolled through the nursery the next day, a requirement of the agency to look at all the children up for adoption. Claire could hardly breathe waiting to see Luna. She heard a familiar cry and looked through a window at numerous cribs with children inside. The minute her eyes saw Luna she struggled to stay on her feet. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she smiled at the infant who was having a tantrum, shaking a stuffed toy in Claire’s direction. They were forced to view the rest of the infants before returning to the nursery where Luna was.

Claire walked directly to Luna and smiled at her obvious recollection. She held her arms out for her and Luna moved into them gripping Claire’s hair with both fists and burying her face in Claire’s neck. They both clung to each other with tears that flowed freely. Even John was choked up and turned around to cough harshly. The rest of the afternoon, Claire held Luna in a huge rocking chair and seemed far away in a world she shared with Luna alone. John paced the hallway watching with growing concern.

“Jamie, I’m worried. These two are obviously bonded and Luna remembers her. Claire is in another world and just wants to hold her. I’m not sure this will end well for Claire. What should I do?”

“Protect her John. Dinna let anyone close to Claire. Other than that, let it play out. Ye willna be able to drag Claire away until they tell her to go, aye?” Claire cried so hard on her last day with Luna. She heard the baby wailing for her until they were out the door of the orphanage. John held a weeping Claire all the way back to Scotland and was anxious to hand her to Jamie to console. He really didn’t get the emotional part of this mission.

Claire returned to work and pushed Luna out of her mind so she could function. The next in-country requirement was a four-week stay in Honduras and Claire made contact with the agency every week asking for an invitation to come. She was being stone-walled without any explanation and it was taking its toll on her.

Jamie watched her brave attempts to act normal but as her pregnancy progressed her expanding waistline reminded him constantly of her delicate condition. He was prepared to accompany her to Honduras as soon as they were allowed. The weeks turned into months and Claire could not take it anymore. Jamie held her close and promised to find an answer to why they had not been processed already. He looked into her eyes and asked her with a sincere and loving heart to marry him, right now.

The following weekend, they were married at the Justice of the Peace with Jenny and Ian standing as witnesses. Claire was six months pregnant and Jamie knew the window of opportunity to travel to Honduras was closing.

Cutter answered Jamie’s call with a heartfelt hello to his friend. Jamie asked about other means to push the adoption through since the agency had closed the proceedings at the order of the government. It was a match to kindling as Cutter felt Claire’s despair to save Luna. He remembered her asleep on the Lazy Boy with a hand in the incubator, waking every hour to feed this doomed child. He was mobilized to cut through this ridiculous bureaucracy and get some answers from the agency.

On a whim, Cutter wrote a letter to the president of the United States, detailing the surgical procedure that saved Luna and how one nurse fought for her against all odds. He told of her bravery when the hospital was raided, how she was shot and barely escaped her own death. These terrible events befell her because she pledged two years of her life to help the Hondurans. He included her husband’s bravery when he got all of them out of the country, risking his own life. He completed the letter with his wish to reunite this forgotten child with the only mother she ever knew. “Go with God.” The envelope was sealed and sent.

A month later, Cutter received a letter from the White House. A duplicate letter was received by Jamie and Claire. Both letters were signed by the President with the amazing news that Luna was coming to America the following weekend and they were invited to the Dallas airport to greet her.

Claire sat down hard in the rocking chair and stared at the floor as Jamie read the letter. She looked up expecting the next shoe to fall and watched Jamie typing into his phone. Claire was frozen watching Jamie pace as he arranged a flight for the following weekend. She felt the tears fall down her cheeks as she waited to hear bad news or wake up from a dream.

Jamie knelt on the floor to look into her eyes. “She is coming home Sassenach, in four days! The president arranged this for you, and for Luna. Be happy Sassenach, it is happening and we will have her home with us by next week!”

Jamie pulled Claire into bed and held her close telling her it was going to be perfect and to have faith. Claire gripped his sides and shook, feeling so small in this miraculous undertaking.

Claire gripped Jamie’s hand at the Dallas airport and heard her mantra repeated over and over again, please let her be on that plane, please let her be on that plane. She looked up at an entourage coming out of the plane. They were obviously secret service and surrounded a woman in the middle of all those bodies. Claire and Jamie stood waiting, barely breathing.

A petite, young, blonde woman with striking features was revealed and she held Luna in her arms looking around for a familiar face. When her eyes found Jamie she smiled and walked to him, seeing Claire’s face she knew who she was. Luna was handed to Claire as she dissolved in grateful tears and sat down to avoid falling over as Luna’s face pressed to hers.

Jamie looked down at the office manager and his eyes were shouting his thanks to her. “Mission accomplished soldier, I would salute ye if I could. I am so grateful.”

She looked at him with compassion, her face showing her delight in helping this mission come to pass. She placed her hand on Jamie’s arm.

“The U.S. President salutes you, Jamie, from behind the scenes as you and I have come to know it. It was a three-country effort to arrange the adoption, the U.S., Scotland, and Honduras. How the U.S. President got involved I’ll never know but it was his clout that got the attention needed. Luna belongs to the two of you now. I pulled strings to get assigned to this mission so I could carry her to you. It’s my going away present and no one is more deserving than you.”

Jamie was reeling from the disclosure. He looked up and saw Dougal hanging back looking like he was a stranger, waiting to board his flight. He turned slightly and locked eyes with Jamie and the two men nodded slightly to each other. Jamie looked at Claire and Luna feeling like his heart would burst in his chest. There was much to do to ready the house for this precious child and another soon to be born. He took a deep breath and looked for the office manager but she was gone, as was Dougal. They melted into the airport population on their way back to Scotland.

Jamie felt the tears on his cheeks and sat down next to Claire and Luna, holding them close and thanking God for this miracle. His head was bowed as he prayed his thanks until a tiny hand reached out for him and pushed her body toward him. He pulled Luna to him and locked eyes with his new daughter.

“I’m Da, Luna.”

She touched his face and then his tears with her finger, looking at him like he was the most important person she had ever met.

“No more fear lassie, ye’ll have a life of love, I promise.”

Jamie struggled to push the tears back. Not for his pride or appearing weak. He wanted his eyes clear so he could see his two lassies and Claire’s round abdomen that held his next son or daughter, closely protected and fiercely loved.

The End.

The spirit in me bows to the spirit in you...Namaste and thank you.

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