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sirenjose · 6 months

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Thoughts and Theories about "Identity Switches"

This will cover current Identity Switches (up to Hunter Norton/Fool's Gold), as well as their connections between the Identity Switch and their normal version, motivations, personalities, backstories, etc... as well as some discussion about the plot of the main story and the Oletus Manor tragedy (including my theory regarding Jose's father's potential involvement in that event).

Regarding the topic of Identity Switches, it'll be easier to answer questions about those as Netease releases more, but for now we just have Novelist/Nightmare, Alice/Memory, Professor/Luchino, Weeping Clown/Joker, and now Norton/Fool's Gold (though we'll likely get Melly's hunter version sooner than later as well).

With Orpheus, we've known for awhile how he's talked about having multiple personalities or whatever, but the form he takes as “Nightmare” isn't real. So far, it doesn't seem like the rest of the Identity Switches (Memory, Luchino, Joker, Fool's Gold) are "real" either, at least in the sense as being those being their appearance in the real world and such.

"Nightmare" seems to have formed as a result of his trauma and the aftereffects of the tragedy that killed the DeRoss couple (Alice's parents) who he was close to.

I think Novelist's S-tier Essence, with Hollow, and that essence's backstory does the best job showing this, especially with Alice as Source of Evil's shock and disbelief that Orpheus as Hollow is the one behind everything she's seeing.

Hollow himself literally states he wants "revenge" during his essence trailer, as well as the rest of his lines during his trailer.

He used to be kind but his heart hardened after what he experienced, and he's no longer as trusting. He also now seems to primarily see the flaws or "sins" first and their good parts second (which i at least personally think is also visible from the way he writes most everyone's 3rd letters, which usually tend to depict the character in a negative light). He wants people to "repent" (with him seeing himself as the person making these "sinful souls" repent).

This idea of him focusing on the evil in people and wanting them to "repent" I think could be reflected in Orpheus aka Nightmare as the manor owner. I think it's best shown in Bane’s letter, where he see themselves helping this happen, but also from those same letters, we eventually see them begin to question Orpheus the same way Source of Evil did.

The best example being Bane in William's 4th letter, where we see his doubt beginning to show due to failing to understand why Orpheus would include an innocent like William in his experiments.

Based on Bane's 4th letter, where Alice talks about Bane missing by the time of the final game, it is possible it is because he begins to doubt that he might've disappeared.

Bane and Burke worked for the DeRoss couple before the tragedy, after which they worked for Orpheus as the new owner. They're people who are close to Orpheus, so if even they are questioning Orpheus' actions, along with Alice at least as Source of Evil, with Alice being Orpheus' childhood friend, that should show just how much he changed.

Sorry it took me so long to reach here, but I think this is what is reflected in Orpheus when he takes the form of Nightmare.

The reason he looks like a bird connects to how birds are stated to be what Orpheus' likes. The gas mask Nightmare wears, which we saw during Time of Reunion, may connect to the drugs Orpheus developed and is using (and how we see him messing with gas in Darkwoods during Time of Reunion).

Nightmare's finger being a pen connects to Orpheus as a writer, a "novelist", while the music notes on his arm can connect to the Nightingale's song and the piccolo we saw being used during Time of Reunion to open the gates of the manor, and how Alice says during Ashes of Memory that the nightingale's song can open all the doors in the manor. We see Orpheus playing the piccolo during Novelist's release trailer too (as well as bandits who come in and kill Alice's parents during the live action trailer for ToR).

Then there's his name, which his rumor seems to explain the meaning of "Perhaps known only to 'Orpheus', this nightmare of his memory".

Finally there's how Nightmare is essentially a raven. This can relate to how the raven is sometimes seen as a bad omen, which fits with Orpheus' change after the tragedy.

So, at least based on Novelist and Nightmare, we can see his Nightmare is a combination of things related to Orpheus himself, his past, but also an emphasis on the... darker side of his personality. Many of the other hunter Identity Switch's we have I think are similar. Their hunter versions seem to put a spotlight on the darker aspects of their character and thus also why I think they tend to be depicted as inhuman, as a way to emphasize how they aren't how they normally are, except these dark parts which are normally hidden internally are now reflected externally in their appearance, and show them as monsters normally or exaggerated versions of their normal selves to mirror their inner darkness, but if that darkness was cranked up to the max.

Joker in a way is similar to Orpheus. Both used to be kind people but changed drastically after going through painful experiences. For Joker, this was the pain and humiliation he was forced to subject himself to day in and day out for the audience's amusement, the pain Sergei caused him, both physical by the acid, and the mental due to Joker's ruined face now preventing him from playing his role in Hullabaloo anymore, not to mention more emotional pain as Sergei was with the girl Joker loved, made more complicated when Joker learned Sergei was abusing her, whatever happiness Joker felt at Margaretha coming to him for comfort because of that abuse, complicated further as it was this event that made Sergei hurt Joker. And even more as Margaretha may not have loved him back, but Joker still cared about her. Put everything together, and it should make it easy to understand why Joker did eventually reach his breaking point, which was the day he killed Sergei, took his face, and then (likely) killed everyone else at Hullabaloo that day, which is the tragedy Mike refers to in his backstory, and is the thing motivating him to go to the manor.

Joker looks the way he does I think at least in part to represent Sergei, or at least maybe how Joker saw Sergei, but also combined with maybe how Joker wishes he was. Compared to Weeping Clown, Joker is much bigger and stronger. But he's also always happy and smiling, which is what Joker wants, what he's been unable to do for so long (just read Joker's deductions, I think it makes this apparent enough).

Moving on to Luchino, I think he's potentially the easiest to understand his Identity Switch/hunter version. His deductions and backstory make his interests clear, as well as how far he'll go for his research. Professor's trailer and backstory tell us in a way he sees his hunter version as "evolution" and stepping over the "last of my boundaries", while his current state (with Professor) is "a small price to pay on the path to truth". His rumor and summaries put best when they basically say Luchino's hunter version an emphasis on his "exploration into forbidden areas" or him going into "territories of taboo".

Maybe Luchino's most recent (4th) letter can give us a bit more insight. It says he is "I've spent my nights suppressing the inhuman desire within me and battling against that 'instinct'". Maybe, compared to his hunter version, this could help show that Luchino's hunter version, like the others, is still an emphasis on a character if they went all the way to the extreme and focusing on their darker traits. Based on his following comment in that letter about "understanding of humans", this could be what his real goal is.

Next I'll mention Alice and Memory. Memory we know is entirely because of Orpheus. It is how he views Alice. Or, to put another, it is what he wants to see. If we go back to Hollow's trailer, he says he wants to "rebuild paradise", which so far I think is the easiest thing to understand regarding what Orpheus is doing and why he has done everything he has.

We know he was torn up by guilt over the tragedy based on Alice's letter to Orpheus in the 2nd anniversary package, where she says "Please don’t blame yourself for father and mother’s death". I think this can even connect to a line by Burke in Bonbon's deductions, where Burke mentions "Since he got back from his 'real' parents, that brat lost various valuable items again... He tried to take full responsibility for it, but such tolerance and protection will only feed their greed".

There’s also how, based on Time of Reunion trailers (live and otherwise), cutscenes, and even Hollow’s essence (S19 E1), at least to me it seems to be implied that it is Orpheus’ fault the bandits got into Oletus Manor to kill Alice’s parents.

The farmer looking people we saw in the portrait during Time of Reunion and during Ashes of Memory when Orpheus is talking about his past may be Orpheus’ “real” parents, the ones Burke mentions during Bonbon’s deductions that Orpheus may be taking valuables from the manor for, which implies Orpheus’ real parents were likely “greedy” people.

During Orpheus’ story in Ashes of Memory, he refers to the man as a “forest ranger” the DeRoss couple hired. This actually can fit with Burke’s deductions, where he talks about the DeRoss couple “bought their own staff” for the manor, after which he says there was “a strange boy in this annoying group”. Orpheus being the son of forest rangers the DeRoss’ hired would explain why he appeared when the DeRoss bought their staff, which could include forest rangers, as we know Bane used to be a forest ranger hired to work on the “hunting grounds of Oletus Manor” (those grounds being the Forest of No Return, as that’s where we can find Bane’s cabin) according to his backstory. Though Bane, unlike Orpheus’ real parents, was loyal to the DeRoss couple.

Orpheus in his story says this forest ranger (likely his real father/parents) “colluded with bandits” (during that scene we see the forest ranger dropping some coins, likely to imply he hired the bandits), the same bandits that killed the DeRoss couple and “ransacked the manor”.

We know from Burke’s and Bonbon’s deductions, as well as from Time of Reunion, that the “key” to get into the manor was a piccolo, likely combined with having to use it to play the nightingale’s song as Alice says during Ashes of Memory.

We see Orpheus playing on this same piccolo in Novelist’s release trailer. We also see the bandits playing on this piccolo during the live action trailer for Time of Reunion. During Ashes of Reunion 2, as Alice is walking through the Muse Corridor, we see the lines “How did they get inside?!”, implying it shouldn’t have normally been possible, likely due to the security we know Burke installed for the manor.

If the piccolo was the key, we know that must be how they got in. How did they get it? Well, we know Orpheus has been taking valuables for his “real parents”. We also know he’s held and used the piccolo before. Maybe Orpheus knew about it from getting close to Burke, who does say right after first mentioning Orpheus in his deductions that the kid “showed great interest in my studio” and “I can always see his clothes or shoes sticking out from the corner”. It’s also possible Orpheus was able to learn about it or get his hands on it due to getting close to the DeRoss couple, especially once Alice was born and he got attached to her.

If Orpheus did help the bandits get into the manor, potentially by giving them the key, that would parallel Hollow’s essence trailer well, as we see in that trailer the young, still innocent Orpheus reaching his hand out to the shipwreck survivors, with the very next scene being these same people attacking the manor.

It would also explain Orpheus’ guilt and why he blames himself for Alice’s parent’s death according to Alice’s letter in the 2nd anniversary package.

Now why do I say all this (besides the fact I think as I talk and couldn’t help going on a tangent as I think about other things)? Orpheus is the one who sees Alice as “Memory”. “Memory” is just as her name says, a memory of the past. Alice looks just like she did back then. Back when things were happy, before their “paradise” was destroyed by the events of the tragedy. Hollow does say he wants to “rebuild paradise”, which reflects his desire to go back, to “look back” if you will just like Orpheus in the actual Greek myth, an action that causes him to break his promise to Hades and thus lose Eurydice.

Orpheus is unable to see Alice as she currently is. He is unable to move forward. He is unable to get past the guilt Alice mentions in her letter to Orpheus. In that same letter, she tries to tell him “You’ve already done everything in your power to save them; my survival is proof of this”. This can connect back to the words we saw in Ashes of Memory 2 when Alice is in the Muse Corridor. We hear someone saying “Take her and run. And don’t turn back”, followed soon after by someone asking for where the kids went (Orpheus and Alice), with the last line we see and hear being Orpheus who says “Don’t be afraid we’ll meet again”. This last line likely is a reference to how Orpheus helped ensure Alice’s survival as she mentions in her letter, potentially him trying to hide her from those looking for them (if they were found, it is possible they would’ve been killed like their parents. Though Burke and Bonbon’s deductions imply they were found, it’s possible timing and exactly who found them was important to ensure their survival).

But based on the first lines in that letter, it seems Alice (in the present, likely during the final game) so far has failed to get Orpheus to stop what he’s currently doing. We know she’s trying to stop him based on the shock and disbelief Source of Evil expresses during her essence to Hollow’s actions, as well as during Novelist’s release trailer as we see a lady holding Memory/Little Girl telling Orpheus to “Stop it! End all this now”.

Orpheus is incapable of stopping himself from focusing on the past, on revenge, on getting back what he once had. His pain and desire is too great, potentially to the point he was willing to use the drugs on himself as Alice in her letter to Orpheus says “regardless of whether you can or cannot remember”. Drugs to help him forget, to ease his pain, but also the same drugs that cause characters to hallucinate seeing others differently, such as seeing Orpheus as Nightmare.

Siren Song is the drug that causes hallucinations. We see Alice, right after she sniffs the bottle, to briefly hallucinate seeing Mary and Nightmare.

I also believe this is the same drug that was used on Jose’s father, Joaquin, and his crew the day they disappeared, depicted in Jose’s 1st letter. They mentioned things that the “cannons couldn’t kill”. The reasons the cannons didn’t kill anything was because the things they saw weren’t real. However, unfortunately for them, their actions still had consequences, which was why their ship likely sunk and why Jose, who waits for his father returns, never sees his father again, and why the Queen assumes Joaquin made off with her treasure and so punishes the Baden family.

(I also still believe in my theory that Jose’s father and crew were the shipwreck survivors depicted in Hollow’s essence in the Season 19 Essence 1 trailer who later may have ended up being at least some of the “bandits” that Orpheus’ real parents “collude” with aka hire or pay off to attack the manor, steal its valuables, and kill many of those inside, including Alice’s parents. We know Jose mentions his father changed course due to a storm in his 3rd deduction, while his 4th and 7th imply the “loss of most of the crew” wasn’t because they were fighting pirates, and instead because “the nightmarish waters had swept them away”. We know from deduction 2 that Joaquin’s change of course took them through an area “not recommended for sailing”. Therefore, the “nightmarish waters” and “loss of the crew” could imply they shipwrecked just like we saw in the Season 18 Essence 3’s (Source of Evil) and Season 19 Essence 1’s (Hollow) trailers. We also can make a good guess the large ship at Lakeside may connect to Jose’s father due to the items on the ship, including a map of the Mediterranean, where we know Joaquin was sent the day he disappeared, a paper with the same symbols as are on White’s compass, a Teru Teru Bozu doll, which is for praying for fine weather and can relate to the “nightmarish water” or the original storm that made Joaquin change course, a picture from Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea of a sailor being grabbed by a giant squid, and a nighttime picture that looks very similar to the images from Wu Chang’s backstory trailer. This could imply Jose and his father have been here before, and if his father participated in the attack on Oletus Manor that killed Alice’s parents, that could explain why Jose is so traumatized after they return from this voyage based on Jose’s panic attacks stated to be worsening as well as explain why Jose says in his 7th deduction that the “nightmarish waters” swept away both his “companions” as well as their “conscience”, which implies they did something bad based on the implications from lacking a conscience, especially when we know Joaquin saw this voyage as so important he refused to turn back due to a storm and instead changed course through an area not recommended for sailing. If they did shipwreck, causing them to potentially lose all their cargo, that’d risk Joaquin’s reputation and his desire for fame and fortune. So he would be the type who’d be willing to fall to the lengths of attacking and stealing from a manor to potentially regain what he lost. This would explain why Jose says whatever happened “awakened the demons flowing through the Badens' blood” as well as the Queen’s “wealth” they were said to have “protected” and returned with after the voyage, which is what earned Jose’s father the fame and fortune he always wanted. And again, it would explain some of the other sarcastic lines in Jose’s deductions including “Redemption: A sin the gods can't forgive, but a king can”, which can tie to how Orpheus as Hollow says in the trailer for his essence “Only a sinful soul does as it pleases” and “Revenge! To hell with the gods!”. This idea could also explain why Orpheus in Jose’s 3rd letter calls Jose a “gift” from a “friend who passed away” that Orpheus “treasured” to use in his experiment, so much so he was willing to pause the experiment when it looked like Jose’s mental state was deteriorating too much. The “gift” from the “friend” that “passed away” can be a sarcastic way to refer to Jose’s father.)

Speaking of the drugs that cause hallucinations, I want to go back to Joker. Remember how I said Orpheus is the one who sees Alice as Memory? Well I think it’s possible Margaretha is the one who sees Weeping Clown Joker as Smiley Face Joker. We know drugs weren’t used on Mike, Joker’s 3rd letter implies the same it seems based on “But even without the influence of drugs, Subject 8-0-3's emotions still moved uncontrollably toward the extreme”, for Violetta it was twice said that it “wasn’t the plan to use medicine” on her, and Murro like Mike has “?” for the 2nd spot of his serial number, which usually implies the character didn’t have the drugs used on them. In which case, Margaretha was likely the 1 to hallucinate Joker’s Identity Switch. And it makes sense too as Margaretha knew a lot about Sergei, ran away with him, but also experienced his abuse. We know from Margaretha’s 3rd letter that, due to the drugs, she mistook Joker as Sergei for a time. That could explain Joker having an appearance that may have a resemblance to Sergei. It could also explain why he’s as big as he is. It could be in part tied to her fear of Sergei due to his abuse.

That then leaves us with Norton and Fool’s Gold. We already got a good bit of information about him from his Design Notes video by Netease. His name itself comes from Norton’s 1st letter from Benny, as well as how the “strong contrast between his outer appearance and inner self” fits well with how Fool’s gold aka pyrite looks similar to gold but is actually iron.

After this part is likely the best answer to your question regarding what an Identity Switch is (https://twitter.com/IdentityVJP/status/1723176218563149901):

“IDENTITY characters and their bodies are somewhat similar to the concepts of id and superego. Or, it can be said to be the difference between the perception of other participants in the game and the person's own perception.

As for character design alone, when we select an IDENTITY character, we tend to enlarge his or her most prominent tags.

Norton's most notable tags were hard work, reticence, being weighed down by life, having no choice but to endure, suppressed anger inside, and ambivalence created by ambition and desire.

We showed one side through Survivor Norton and hoped to show another side through 'Fool's Gold.'”.

After this it further explains why he has a stony appearance, which they say involves his occupation as a miner and how he had been “losing his humanity”. This was why they made the hole in his chest, to show the mining accident damaging “more than his body. When he lit the fuse, his morals, social norms, and appearance of good nature were completely shattered”.

As we said, the Identity Switch/hunter versions are essentially an emphasis on their negative traits which are turned up to the max in this version of themselves. Sort of like how a ONCE skin is a what if something about their story changed, Identity Switches/hunter versions are like a what if the worst or extreme parts of a character were cranked up way more than they actually are.

With hunter Norton, going back to his design notes, it describes this version of Norton being someone that was “reborn in the collapsed mine”, while the hole in his chest involves him “no longer needing the lungs that had been in constant pain before, and that he had been given a new lease of life!”

At least for me personally, another visual for this being a version of Norton with his darker traits magnified is how Norton’s usually crooked smile is now instead a full smile. Norton in his survivor version has a crooked smile to emphasize his name as well as his 2 sides, 1 being his “gloomy and depressed” side (the sad Norton desperate to escape poverty and depressed at his inability to do so no matter how hard he works) while the other is his “avaricious” side (the one affected by the “magnets” said to have “disturbed his brain”).

Fool’s Gold having a magnetic pickaxe he can throw and recall, as well as dash towards, is a reference to Norton’s magnets, the ones he made after he took a chunk of the meteorite from Golden Cave after the mine collapse before managing to dig himself out.

Fool’s Gold/Hunter Norton is a version of Norton that has his greed and willingness to do anything to escape poverty turned up to the extreme. This is a version of Norton no longer in pain from black lung, a version no longer letting himself be abused by his coworkers or employers, a version where his darker side won the inner/mental conflict in Norton, which is depicted in his backstory trailer when we see him holding his head in pain and see both survivor Norton and hunter Norton at the same time (to even better show this is a conflict between survivor Norton, aka his better/good side, and his hunter version, aka his worse/bad side).

An even easier visual and proof of this conflict being part of at least normal, survivor Norton comes from Norton’s 2nd letter. The author is Norton, but he’s also talking to himself, trying to convince himself to accept the job and to kill the female he was asked to kill for the monetary reward he was offered. The fact he has to try to convince himself shows Norton needs convinced aka he hasn’t decided completely if he will go through with it or not, or at least he’s having 2nd thoughts, which again also helps to show survivor Norton and hunter Norton are different (that hunter Norton isn’t necessarily the real version, it’s a what if his darker side was magnified).

There is also the chance the eye in Golden Cave is involved in all this. The Famitsu article already suggested the magnets may be messing with his head, magnets made from the meteorite that came from Golden Cave, where the large eye is. We even see similar fiery eyes appearing as effects with hunter Norton’s S-tier Infernal Skin. I do think there’s a chance hunter Norton is a version of Norton controlled or manipulated (more than normal) by whatever the meteorite and the eye in Golden Cave is.

(I have discussed the idea of the Golden Cave eye being Cyaegha before: https://www.tumblr.com/sirenjose/731920677136924672/golden-cave-eye-cyaegha-theory-updated?source=share).

While I’m thinking about it, I do wonder if we can say Orpheus’ and Norton’s Identity Switch’s/hunter versions are different from the others. I say this as Orpheus has already been said to have multiple personalities, while for Norton he’s already been said to have 2 sides and we’ve already seen him arguing with himself in his 2nd letter. In a sense, I wonder if we can say their hunter versions are “real” in a sense, just that the ones we see in game are now actually (externally) visible and magnified more than normal.

Though speaking of the 2 of them, going back to you wondering if it could relate to the Identity Switch being someone more willing to follow the manor owner or supervising the games, we see Norton during Ashes of Memory 2 seemingly working with Norton. This is based on how Alice encountered Hunter Norton while chasing after Orpheus (the black figure she was initially chasing after), then she is knocked out by Orpheus while Alice is running from Hunter Norton, who we know is actually Norton based on his reflection in the puddles. After this, we then see Norton using the Hydra drug on Alice, with Orpheus likely nearby considering we hear him questioning if the drug is working as Norton is giving it to her. Norton is only officially announced to arrive at the manor the day after that scene takes place. The other bit making it pretty evident Norton is likely working with Orpheus is how we see Norton in the secret basement/cellar that no one besides Orpheus (and Alice now due to her investigation, but none of the other participants at least normally are shown to know anything about it) knows about, not to mention how he knows about Orpheus’ drugs that he likely wants to keep secret from everyone, especially the other normal participants, as them knowing would likely ruin his experiments.

So Norton (or the others really) I don’t think was turned into a hunter/got an Identity Switch because of a “punishment”, nor has he done anything I believe to warrant a punishment, especially with him seemingly being someone directly working with the manor owner rather than just 1 more game participant.

The hunter versions for Orpheus, Joker, and Norton seemed to have formed due to pain (especially over a long period of time) and trauma (powerful experiences). Memory is due to Orpheus’ desire to go back to when things were happy. Luchino I’m less confident about, but maybe we’ll get a better idea as we learn more about his game. It’s possible he could be because of his obsession. It could also be because someone hallucinated him that way similar to Margaretha to Joker and Alice to Norton, which is a combination of knowing or being told about the person and seeing them as more extreme than they currently/actually are likely due to fear. So far though, drugs seem to be the main cause, though not all hunters are just hallucinations (like Leo), but it’s hard to say without full confirmation by Netease how much of each hunter is hallucination and how much is real. We can make guesses, like Bane for example seems mostly real, but who knows if they might surprise us and show their real version is a bit more toned down, like they did for Joker and Luchino.

(As for the question about detention, I don’t believe it’s ever explained in detail, so I think it’s fine to imagine or explain it however you may want. My best guess is maybe it can be explained sort of like adrenaline. Kind of like how the last week before a season ends is called Final Push, I think when the last cipher machine is decoded, it’s like the “final push” to the end. For survivors, this is to escape. For hunters, it is to eliminate everyone. Survivors “borrowed time” talent, which is when they heal when the last cipher pops, has the text “To what end will the last gleam of hope lead?”, which connects with this. Hunters’ detention on the other hand has the text “What's the hurry? Stay here forever”, which I think could help back up by guess that survivors may be more “adrenaline”, while for hunters it may be more… something like bloodlust? The desire to eliminate them all before they can escape. If you want to imagine it as a loss of whatever humanity they had, even if temporary, I think that’s fine ^_^; !)

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ghostflowerdreams · 1 year

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Writing Research: Homeless Character

I’m currently writing about a character that is homeless. A lot of this information is base on real accounts and advice from people that suddenly found themselves homeless. I’ve even included a couple of things that I’ve learned myself because at one point I thought I would be kicked out and wanted to prepared myself as much as I possibly could for it.

Shelters

Homeless shelters are a basic form of temporary accommodation where a bed is provided in a shared space overnight. Most shelters even provide homeless individuals with basic necessities like food, water, toiletries, and clothes. While others offer programs that aim to help people get off the street and get back on their feet.

However, not all shelters accept walk-ins and if they do, it’s usually first come, first serve because space is limited. Most of them also required you to fill out an application first so they can determine if you’re eligible to stay at their shelter. You may even need to have certain documents to prove your identity and residence (such as a driver’s license, green card, passport or visa, birth certificate, Social Security card, Medicaid card, eviction papers, etc.) or have a referral from a social services agency to be accepted. That’s because some shelters are specifically aimed towards different types of homeless people like a family, pregnant women, teens, a single adult, etc. Those shelter facility have special accommodation that better suits their needs.

Each shelter also has their own set of rules, restrictions and regulations, which depends on who’s running them and where they get their funding from. In general, well-funded shelters tend to have more programs and better facilities. Though these types of shelters also tend to be more overcrowded than smaller, less-funded ones. Almost all shelters have set opening and closing times. Most of the time, they open at 8:00 AM and close at 4:00 PM. For homeless people working night shifts or irregular working hours, this can be a deterrent.

Generally, shelters are free but there are some cases where they may charge you a fee. They may do so when you stay longer than you’re suppose to, which varies from shelter to shelter (such as after 7 to 14 days) or when you want to continue to keep your belongings stored in the locker while you’re at work. Though they don’t always ask for money. Some may take half of the resident’s food stamp allowance. While others require their residents to work up to 40 hours per week in the shelter in exchange for board and lodging.

Street Sense Media - What to do when you become homeless

ToughNickel - Soon to Be Homeless? 12 Ways to Prepare for Homelessness

The Prepping Guide - 12 Tips: How to Be Homeless and Survive

Real Change News - So, you’re homeless now. Here’s what you need to know

Invisible People - What Is It Like to Stay in a Homeless Shelter?

Reddit: r/askreddit - [Serious] What is it like living in a homeless shelter?

Eco Bear - What Is It like Living in a Homeless Shelter?

Medium - Living In A Shelter Sucks: My Experience Being Homeless

Reddit: r/IAmA - I used to be homeless, now I'm not. AMA

NPR - Why Some Homeless Choose The Streets Over Shelters? [audio]

Quick Haven - Why Do Homeless People Avoid Shelters

VICE - This Is Why Homeless People Don't Go to Shelters

Reddit: r/homeless - Why do homeless people consider shelters unsafe?

Business Insider - I Spent The Night In A Homeless Shelter—Here's What It Was Like

New York Post - ‘I feel like I’m back in jail’: Life inside NYC’s broken shelter system

NPR - A Day In The Life Of A Homeless Woman Who Sleeps At A Skid Row Shelter [audio]

VAWnet: National Resource Center on Domestic Violence - No Safe Place: Sexual Assault in the Lives of Homeless Women

Reddit: r/AskNYC - I’m (19F) recently homeless and have nowhere to go. Does anyone know of any shelters or resources available in the city right now?

Youtube: Bustle - How Do Homeless Women Cope With Their Periods? [video]

VICE - Homeless Women Talk About How They Deal With Their Period

Cosmopolitan - What It's Like to Get Your Period When You're Homeless

Youtube: Invisible People - Homeless Woman Walks Us Through a Day in the Life on the Streets of San Diego [video]

Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless (NEOCH) - A Day in the Life of a Homeless Person

Boston 25 News - The day in the life of a homeless person in Boston

Business Insider - Here's A Trick I Learned At The Homeless Shelter For Surviving Bed Bugs

HomelessAdvice - Advice When You Need It

Primal Survivor - 10 Survival Tricks Learned from Homeless People

Invisible People - Surviving the Winter Without Shelter

NBC News - Marvin's World: Nine Lessons From Homeless Man's Winter in NYC

TIME - 'I Thought I Was Going to Die.' How Chicago's 80,000 Homeless People Are Surviving in Deadly Zero-Degree Weather

Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless (NEOCH) - Where I Lived in the Winter When I Was Homeless

Guide 2 Homelessness - Survival Guide to Homelessness

HomelessAdvice - Do Homeless Shelters Charge Money?

Food Storage Moms - How to Survive in a Homeless Shelter

Los Angeles Times - Column: When homeless people lose their possessions, they end up further from leaving the streets

Gothamist - What Life Looks Like For One Of 3,600 Homeless People Living On NYC Streets

Boise State University - A day in the life of a Boise homeless man

Youtube: Don Johns - sneak peek at homeless shelter life in America [video]

On the Pulse News - Day in the Life: Local homeless woman lives ‘day to day’

Reddit: r/IAmA - I Am A a mother of 2 who was homeless for a year after leaving my husband, AMA.

Our Father’s House Soup Kitchen - Living on the Streets: What’s It Really Like?

Londonist - "I Was Homeless On The Streets Of London. This Is What It Was Like"

DailyMail - People who have escaped being homeless reveal what life is REALLY like - from fooling 'squares' with sob stories to get money to going for two weeks without eating

London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) - How young homeless people experience London and the homeless system

The Guardian - Homeless in Britain: ‘I graduated with honours – and ended up on the streets’

Youtube: EPOCH - The day I became homeless in London [video]

BBC News - 'I’m homeless but I find great places to live'

Youtube: Invisible People - Homeless Woman Sleeping Rough in London after Domestic Violence [video]

London Homeless Info - Information for homeless in London by ex-homeless

Youtube: Real Stories - Life On The Streets: Britain's Homeless Problem (Poverty Documentary) [video]

The Associated Press - Homeless shelters begin to see value in making room for pets

National Alliance to End Homelessness - Pets Can Be a Barrier — or an Open Door — to Ending an Individual’s Homelessness

Feeding Pets of the Homeless - Addressing Pet of the Homeless

Enid News & Eagle - Day in the life of the homeless: Walking, waiting and sleeping outside

Churches

Many of the churches (and other religious or spiritual organizations) provide resources and overnight shelter for the homeless. Some of them may even include free hot meals, clothes, information on applying for financial aid or maybe a few dollars to help pay the rent or a utility bill as well as other aid.

Sometimes, when there’s no more space inside the church, it’s not uncommon to find homeless people sleeping on its steps too. They can sleep there every night without the cops bothering them. The reason why is that churches are on private property. As long as the church owner allows you to be there, you're good. And they usually do give permission.

However, it’s understandable that some homeless people may not feel comfortable going to a church for help. In fear that the church may try to use the opportunity to “convert” them or there might be discrimination based on their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

American Magazine | The Jesuit Review of Faith - What it’s like going to church when you’re homeless

Need Help Paying Bills - Churches Help With Rent, Utility Bills, Food...

Christianity Today - Church and State for the Homeless

U.S. Catholic - Churches answer the call to shelter the homeless

Vox - The Salvation Army says it doesn’t discriminate against LGBTQ people. Critics say that’s not true.

Gothamist - Muslim Charity Spends Holy Month Feeding The Homeless Every Night

The Muslim Council of Britain - How can mosques serve the issue of homelessness?

Religion News Service (RNS) - Homeless find rest in faith-based shelters more than others

Libraries

Patrons, regardless of their housing status, have always found the library to be a welcoming place. It can provide an air-conditioned space on a hot day, warmth in the wintertime, public restrooms for all, internet access, charge your phone, and be a quiet space to read or to keep yourself busy.

For those people experiencing homelessness it’s not unusual to find them waiting early in the morning each day for the doors to open. They’ll spend their entire day there reading to escape from their everyday reality, listening to music, browsing the internet for job listings, maybe even researching ways to help themselves out of their situation or just keeping themselves entertained.

However, many libraries still require patrons to have an permanent address and photo identification to get a library card. But what most don’t realize is that some libraries allow patrons to use temporary addresses, such as the shelters or other social service organizations when applying for a library card. If you can’t get a card, it’s still possible to access the computers without it, you just need to go to the Reference Desk and ask for a new numerical code every hour. Some places may even offer you a temporary guest pass. Either way, everyone gets one-hour sessions per day on the computer.

You also don’t need a library card or a password to access their free unsecured wireless network, usually titled as “Library Guest.”

American Library Association (ALA) - Libraries Respond: Services to Poor and Homeless People

Deseret News - Homeless people need libraries, and libraries need them, too

University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign: School of Information Science - Serving Homeless Patrons in the Public Library: What can libraries do?

The Guardian - Homeless people have found safety in a library – but locals want them gone

Public Library Association - Library Service to the Homeless

American Library Association (ALA) - A Home to the Homeless

WickedLocal - You have a child who wants to borrow a book, but you have no permanent address. What next?

Berkeleyside - No permanent address? No problem. Berkeley library makes it easier for those without homes to get library cards

PBS - From nurses to social workers, see how public libraries are serving the homeless

Librarian To Librarian - Attending to the Forgotten: Welcoming Homeless Children into the Fold

Vehicles

Those who live in their vehicles have to worry about the legality of their lifestyle – something that is frequently in flux as laws change.

Sleeping in your car is perfectly legal if it’s parked on property you own yourself, such as the driveway of your home. But sadly, that’s not an option when you’re homeless because you wouldn’t be living in your car in the first place. It’s also legal if you’re parked on someone else’s property with their permission, like in the driveway of a friend or of a family member.

It’s possible to pass a peaceful night in a privately-owned parking lot, say outside of a grocery store. In fact, many 24hr businesses such as Wal-Mart and Cracker Barrel have built up a reputation for allowing overnight parking. But these policies are usually intended to accommodate RVers and other people on vacation with the hope that they’ll patronize the business during their stay. Either way, the parking lots are well-lit, there’s restroom access, and some may even offer free Wi-Fi.

There’s also city-designated parking lots, where they offer people living in their cars a safe place to stay and sleep overnight. It won’t draw the ire of the residents or the prying eyes of police officers handing out tickets. They even offer much needed access to restrooms, and other services to help you get back on your feet. But just like the homeless shelters you do need to fill out a application, either by calling them, visiting in-person, or filling out the online form.

If you’re on the highway, there are many rest stops where you can parked and legally sleep at. However, this varies from state to state because in some places they don’t allow overnight parking and might even have limits on how long you can park during the day. While others allow it as long as you don’t stay there for more than 12 or 24 hours. They also have restrooms and maybe even picnic tables too. Just keep in mind that they’re not always well-lit and can be pretty secluded, because of that there’s a higher possibility of people being robbed or attacked. So consider this as a last resort.

Insider - As the number of homeless people living out of their vehicles grows across the US, one man shows what it's really like to live involuntarily out of a van for 2 years

Youtube: ALLinWithAri - Living in My Car | Homeless in California | First Vlog [video]

Invisible People - Mobile Homelessness: The Legality of Living in a Vehicle

NBC New York - Is NYC Violating Right to Shelter Law? Woman Sleeps in Car Due to ‘Inhumane' Conditions

Reddit: r/IAmA - I am homeless by choice; I live in my truck.

The Guardian - ‘My car is my home’: the California students with nowhere to live

Cauf Society - Sleeping in Your Car: How To Do It Without Getting Arrested Or Dying

HomelessAdvice - Where to Sleep in Your Car When Homeless

Youtube: Jake McCollum - How I've Been Living Out of My Car for 3 YEARS | Homeless in the United States of America [video]

Vox - Affordable housing is disappearing. So cities are designating parking lots to sleep in.

Reddit: r/homeless - Anyone Have Tips For Living In My Car?

CNN - Living in her car, she was afraid and harassed. Then she found an unexpected refuge

Reddit: r/IAmA - I have been living out of my car for the past year. AMA

Empower Us - Homeless – Living in a Vehicle Survival Guide

Deseret News - People who can’t afford rent are living in their cars, and cities aren’t sure what to do about them

The Road Trip Expert - 19 Places You Can Legally Sleep In Your Car And Park Overnight

Reddit: r/Advice - I'm homeless as of today living out of my car. Anyone have any advice to help me. I live in Canada and its so cold I cant sleep some nights. I just need like survival tips till i can save up enough to get my own place

Youtube: Invisible People - Homeless mom and her two daughters live in a van near Seattle [video]

The Survival Journal - Homeless Survival Guide: How To Survive Living In Your Car

New York Post - I work full-time at Home Depot but I’m homeless and live in my car

USA Today - 'Hidden homeless crisis': After losing jobs and homes, more people are living in cars and RVs and it's getting worse

MotorBiscuit - Where Should You Sleep if You’re Living Out of Your Car?

Reddit: r/IAmA - By request: I lived in my truck for 8 months. AMA

Windsor Star - Homeless living in vehicles battle cold, hold out hope for place of their own

Reddit: r/IAmA - IAmA College (University) student that lived in my car for over 6 months (2 semesters) so I could afford to go to school. AMA

Youtube: Tiny Home Tours - Homelessness to Vanlife: Her DIY Ford E-350 Cargo Van [video]

Invisible People - Tips on How to Stay Clean While Living in Your Vehicle

Youtube: Stories From a Van - Living In A Car To Save Money | How I Did It & Complete Guide [video]

The Survival Mom - How to Live Out of Your Car: Solid Advice from People Who Made It Work

Youtube: Bria-maine - Living in a Car~A Day in My Life~The Raw Truth~Working From Home~Nomad Life [video]

MotorBiscuit - Is Living in Your Car Dangerous?

Invisible People - How Gas Prices Adversely Affect Vehicular Homelessness

Truck Stops (Service Station/Travel Center)

Showers can be pretty expensive at truck stops like Love’s, Pilot, Flying J, T/A, etc. The cost will usually range anywhere from $12 to $17 depending on the place you go to. They all have a large parking area, a fueling station, a diner or restaurant, a convenience store and usually a coin-operated laundry services too. Some may even offer other services like a movie theater, pet wash, workout rooms, salons, etc..

These facilities are usually pretty clean and modern. But if you do use the showers, just be sure to wear flip-flops if you don’t want to get warts or athletes foot. And keep in mind that the truck stops in rural areas are typically very safe and wholesome. But, as the distance to major cities decreases the incidence of prostitution, drug peddling etc. increases dramatically. For example, the Vince Lombardi service area on the New Jersey Turnpike near New York City has the most rampant prostitution.

Also. if you join a particular chain, such as Love’s customer loyalty program you can usually get a free shower if you spend $50 or more on diesel fuel (or if you get 1,000 gallons in a month you’ll earn a free shower or a free hot meal). You may want to consider this if you have a diesel-powered vehicle or a diesel generator that you regularly use.

I have heard that there are some truck drivers that will sometimes give away their free shower credit/coupon to those in need. They don't always have the time to take a shower that day or don’t need it because they already took one and it would have gone to waste otherwise.

Guide 2 Homelessness - Survival Guide to Homelessness: Truck Stops

CTC Trucking - Everything You Need to Know About Truck Stops Showers

NATSO - How Truckstops Can Help the Homeless

King5 News - Homeless camp at Washington rest stops

Los Angeles Times - I lived in a truck for 6 1/2 years. Trust me, trying to roust homeless from their vehicles is no solution.

Prime Inc. - 10 Best Truck Stops in America

Truck Drivers Money Saving Tips - Tips on Laundromat Use and Doing Laundry by Truck Drivers

Truck Drivers Money Saving Tips - Showers for Professional Drivers: Options and Money Saving Tips

USA Today - These 10 great truck stops surprise travelers with everything from dog parks to bidets

Drivin’ & Vibin’ - 7 Things Non-Truckers Should Know About Truck Stops

Campsite

Regular campgrounds cost around $20 to $60 per night, depending on the season, location, the size of the space, and what amenities they offered. But what most don’t know is that there’s actually a type of camping that’s free and yes, it’s also legal.

Dispersed camping is the term used for camping anywhere in the National Forest OUTSIDE of a designated campground. Dispersed camping means no services; such as trash removal, and little or no facilities; such as tables and fire pits, are provided. Some of the more popular dispersed camping areas may have toilets though. If not, that means you’ll need to deal with your own poop by properly burying it or packing it out with you. Essentially ‘Leave No Trace’ and practice the concept of ‘Pack It In – Pack It Out’.

However, to access dispersed camping areas you’ll need a vehicle to get to them. So this option won’t be possible for every homeless person, only those that still have a vehicle (and/or a tent) to take shelter in. There are also limitations on how long you can stay. Most only allow for less than ten days a month, but it varies for each location. After ten days, you can just move down the road five or ten miles away from your pervious spot. This will keep you from breaking the law.

The general rule is to be a minimum of at least 100-200 feet away from any road, trail or water source. Individual forests might have their own restrictions, so it is always best to check with them before setting up camp.

Forest Service: U.S. Department of Agriculture - Dispersed Camping Guidelines

U.S. Bureau of Land Management - Camping on Public Land

FreeCampSite - Dispersed Camping

The Dyrt Magazine - Yes, You Can Find Free Camping in National Forests! Here’s How

The Dyrt Magazine - Boondocking: The Complete Guide to Free Camping (Almost) Anywhere

The Dyrt Magazine - Your Complete Guide to Free Camping Across the Country

The Outbound Collective - The dirt on dispersed camping

Bay Nature Magazine - Public Lands Have Become a Refuge for People Priced Out of Housing in the West. Local Tensions are Increasing. What Now?

Youtube: Mountain Springs Adventures - How to Find Free (dispersed) Campsites in National Forests & BLM Land + My Recent Boondocking Spots! [video]

VICE - Homeless Are Flocking to America's Forests, But It's Damaging the Land

Campendium - Upcoming Dispersed Camping Changes You Should Know About for 2022

Tom’s Bike Trip - How To Wild Camp Anywhere For Free And Not Get Busted

Fresh Off The Grid - How to Find Free Camping in the US & Canada

Beyond The Tent - 19 Spots You Can Go Free Camping in New York

Youtube: Invisible People - Homeless Woman Shows How She Lives in a Tent [video]

Reddit: r/IAmA - IAmA man who has lived in the woods in a tent near the place I work(ed) since last September, for various reasons. Currently transitioning out of the situation. - AMA.

Mortons on the Move - Are Homeless People Living in the National Parks?

The Colorado Sun - Inside Colorado’s attempt to police the growing number of homeless camps in national forests

Reddit: r/SanJose - I'm homeless living in a tent in San Jose, AMA!

Youtube: Invisible People - Homeless woman "timed out" from a homeless shelter and now lives in a tent with her children. [video]

Gyms

Getting a gym membership means you can shower, shave, use a clean toilet, charge your phone, and spend hours a day in the gym just riding a stationary bike while listening to music, audiobook, podcast, etc. They’ll also have Wi-Fi available to members too.

Planet Fitness is the more popular and affordable option because it has a basic membership plan for $10/month, but it’s only for one location. It gives you unlimited access to their gym (which is open 24 hours a day), their app, free fitness training and free Wi-Fi. However, they do charge an annual fee of $39 and a one-time start-up fee of $1. That said, there’s no commitment.

If you get their $25/month plan, that gives you unlimited access to all of their other locations and a few more perks too, such as you can bring in a guest anytime, use their tanning beds, HydroMassage, discounts on drinks, etc. But it does required a $39 annual fee and a $1 start-up fee, and there’s no commitment either.

If you’re still not sure, they do offer a free day pass for the club of your choice. Just fill out a form online, and a day pass will be e-mailed to you. Keep in mind that you may be required to show some ID upon check-in, and all day pass users are required to take a free tour.

Another option is to consider joining the YMCA. They have financial assistance available, which provides access to membership, programs, childcare, and camps to those in need of support. However, I’m hesitant to suggest this one because the pricing greatly depends on your age, financial state and where you’re located. If you live in a small town, the price will be lower than the membership price in a large city. They also have different rates, which vary by age and what services you want to access.

For example, the regular price for an adult membership (over 30) is $50/month. Even if you applied for financial assistance, the max discount is only 30% and $35.00/month isn’t feasible for those that are homeless or struggling to keep afloat. But of course, you do get access to every Y’s and a lot more stuff than you would at a gym, like the pool, classes, locker rental, towel service, showers, hot tub, steam room, etc.

But I have heard that some YMCA’s do offer free membership if you qualified, such as those that are a member of the military or a veteran. Some senior citizen can get a free membership through their Medicare Advantage plan. If you’re under 18 many YMCA locations offer free summer memberships for teens and tweens. They even have free classes and programs that are accessible without a membership, which is useful because at one point they had free lifeguard training.

Note: If a credit card is necessary, get a prepaid Mastercard. It’s a universally accepted method of paying for purchases without the need for a credit score or a bank account. Prepaid cards are sold at retail stores (usually for a fee of $1.50-2.50 or free if ordered online). With these type of cards, you only need to load them up with money when you get it, then use it to make purchases. [x]

The Penny Hoarder - Gym Memberships So Cheap Your Budget Won’t Break a Sweat

Sports Illustrated - Is a Planet Fitness Gym Membership Right for You?

KCRW - For many homeless Angelenos, the gym is critical to survival [audio]

Smarter Homemaker - YMCA (Membership Cost, Benefits, & Alternatives)

Expensive Why - Why Are YMCA Memberships So Expensive in 2022?

Low Income Relief - How to Get a Free YMCA Membership

HomelessAdvice - The YMCA as a Homeless Shelter (Showers, Lockers, and Beds)

YMCA England & Wales - Where to go for support if you are homeless

Hygiene

Fitness centers are perhaps the most popular choice for the homeless, but there are also a lot of government-run campgrounds with coin-op shower facilities too.

If you’re traveling along the coast, public beaches will have ample showers available for free (but they may not be warm or private, and you’ll need a bathing suit). If you’re traveling inland, look for public beaches on lakes or rivers. Public swimming pools can do in a pinch, but you’ll usually have to pay a fee to enter.

Public bathrooms are everywhere (such as at the parks, libraries, department stores, fast food places, Penn Station, Port Authority Bus Terminal, etc.). You can use a washcloth and a collapsible bucket (or a large plastic cup) to wash up with. Just fill it up with the water from the sink and use it to quickly wash your hair and/or privates, especially if it’s one of those single locked public restroom. If not, maybe take the bucket/cup into the toilet stall and wash in there.

If all else fails, using baby wipes (which you can get for a $1.00 at Dollar Tree) to stay clean is certainly better then nothing.

Roadtrippers - 6 tips for showering and staying clean while on the road

wikiHow - How to Stay Clean when Homeless

Boondocker’ s Bible - Where to Take a Shower When You Live in a Car?

Hope's Corner - Laundry Service Helps the Homeless

Medium - Staying Clean While Homeless.

Clean the World Foundation - Mobile Showers: Street Outreach For People Experiencing Homelessness

Survival Recipes - Hygiene

National Association for Continence (NAFC) - The Best Bathroom Locator Apps

Bathroom City - Top 4 Bathroom Locator Apps For Android and iOS

Public Shower Directory - Free Showers

Mail

Having an address is essential for applying to a job, for benefits or housing, receiving official communications, opening a bank account, replacing identification, registering the vehicle you live in, and so many other reasons too.

That’s why most homeless first try asking their friends or family if they can use their address for when the paperwork requires a permanent address. However, there are many who don’t have strong bonds with friends or family and so, this route isn’t often taken.

Some homeless shelters offer to collect and distribute mail for their guests. If there’s a shelter someone regularly returns to, it makes sense for them to receive their mail there if possible. But they will have their limits. They may institute a maximum number of people they can receive mail for at one time. Or, more commonly they’ll have a maximum number of days mail will be held before being discarded.

Some churches, generally larger ones, offer mail services to people without permanent addresses too. These are often the same places that offer meal services. So, it may be convenient for people to pick up their mail at a place they already go regularly to eat. Like shelters, church mail programs will often have a maximum holding period.

If it’s affordable enough, some people who are homeless do pay for a PO box, either permanently, temporarily, or intermittently when they need to receive something. If there aren’t any accessible places offering free mail services in the area, this may be the only option.

USPS - Is there Mail Service for the Homeless?

Invisible People - How Do People Who Are Homeless Get Their Mail?

HomelessAdvice - Where Do Homeless Get Their Mail?

NPR - A Post Office Lifeline for the Homeless [audio]

Coalition For The Homeless - Emergency Mail Program

UK Postbox - Vulnerable people that use our service

WIRED - The radical plan to give every homeless person an address

Water/Food

Soup kitchens have become a place of refuge for those less fortunate souls. Aside from free food, most soup kitchens also provide other necessities such as clothing and hygiene kits. Though some soup kitchens only serve soup and bread, others serve a freshly-cooked full course meal. They also provide a take-out bag with a sandwich and other goodies.

Food pantry is supplied with food, such as fresh produce, canned goods, and healthy frozen items from a food bank. These pantries feed hundreds of low-income people per week. Because every community is different, there are many different types of pantries. But before you go, you should always call the food pantry (or the soup kitchen) to find out when they are open and if they have food. Most pantries offer a three to five day supply of healthy food for low-income families. When possible, pantries provide special items for those family members on restricted diets.

Most pantries will require some form of identification such as a Social Security card, Public Assistance, or photo ID. Many also require a referral letter from a social service agency such as the Board of Social Services, a community organization, or your place of worship to show proof of your need for assistance.

Another option is going to a mom and pop store (local family owned) or pizzeria, bakery, supermarket, Dunkin’, etc. before closing time and asking them if you could maybe take out their trash or sweep up in exchange for their leftovers or day old's. As they would’ve thrown out the still perfectly edible food into the dumpster anyway. Most of the time they'll let you do a little token chore or take pity and just give you something.

As for water there are many places where you get free water and/or water refills, such as public water refill stations or drinking water fountains that you can always find at all the parks. There’s even an app that lists all of the places where you can find them.

U.S. Department of Agriculture Food and Nutrition Service - 10 Myths and Facts About SNAP for Homeless Persons [pdf]

U.S. Department of Agriculture Food and Nutrition Service - Are you homeless? You might be able to get food help from SNAP! [pdf]

Move For Hunger - About Hunger and Homelessness

Homeless Shelter Directory - Soup Kitchens, Food, Pantries, Food Banks

Our Father’s House Soup Kitchen - What is a Soup Kitchen?

Coalition For The Homeless - I Need Food

Coalition For The Homeless - Soup Kitchen and Food Pantry Listings

Feeding America - Find Free Food and Groceries

Reddit: r/Frugal - If you need food, go to a food pantry. Periodt.

Helping Americans Find Help - New Jersey Food Assistance

New York Post - I went dumpster diving at my local Whole Foods and found $1,000 worth of fresh baked goods, produce

New York Post - Brooklyn hipsters go Dumpster-diving for dinner

Los Angeles Times - Dumpster Diving Pays Off in Pizzas

The U.S. Sun - I’ve saved £700 in two months by bin diving – ALL my food comes from the trash and I share it with homeless people

Save the Student - 20 ways to get free food

Happy Sprout - These food waste apps will help you save money – and the planet

Android Police - 12 helpful eco-friendly Android apps to tackle food waste

MakeUseOf - 3 Food Sharing Apps to Make Your Eating More Sustainable

Fast Company - Don’t buy bottled water: This app tells you the closest place you can fill up for free

Bustle - This App Helps You Avoid Buying Plastic Water Bottles & It’s Low Key Genius

BBC News - App shows water refill stations to tackle plastic waste

California Beaches - Pier Fishing in California

Irish Mirror - Homeless people living on canal banks and forced to fish for their food in desperate struggle to survive

Survival Recipes - Food

HomelessAdvice - How to Get Free Food When Homeless

SBS - When you're homeless, how do you eat to stay somewhat healthy?

Reddit: r/mealprep - Best food for when you're homeless and can't cook?

Misc.

American Outdoor Guide - Street Survivors: Basic, Proven and Practical Survival Skills from the Homeless

M.D. Creekmore - How To Survive Being Homeless and Broke

Distractify - Formerly Homeless Share What Aid Was Most Helpful to Them

wikiHow - How to Stay Warm on Cold Winter Nights if You are Homeless

New York Post - How Siberia’s homeless survive the frigid winter

Medium - Weathered: The Struggle of the Homeless to Survive in Harsh Weather

Invisible People - Vision Impairment in the Homeless Community

Feel Good Contacts - Sight problems in the homeless

National Eye Institute - Get Free or Low-Cost Eye Care

NeedHelpPayingBills - Free prescription glasses and eye exams near you

wikiHow - How to Stay Clean when Homeless

Fast Company - This Mobile Shower And Laundry Lets The Homeless Stay Clean

Forbes - For L.A.’s Homeless, A Free Mobile Laundry Service Strives To Be ‘Part Of The Solution’

Inquirer - The Hub of Hope’s laundry services help homeless people feel 'normal’ again

The Guardian - Cleaning up: mobile laundry for the homeless goes international

Low Income Relief - Where to Charge Your Phone When Homeless: 10 Options

Frugal Reality - Where to Charge My Phone for Free? 17 Ways To Charge Without Electricity & Homeless

HomelessAdvice - Where to Charge Your Phone When Homeless

CNET - Wi-Fi is a lifeline in the pandemic. It's harder to get if you're homeless

CBS New York - LinkNYC Charging Kiosks Become Magnets For Homeless

The Daily Telegraph - Homeless rely on smartphones to survive but finding somewhere to re-charge is a challenge

Father Joe’s Villages - Homelessness and Dental Health Care

Care For the Homeless - Making Dentistry More Accessible

Family Resources - 7 Surprising Items to Help the Homeless

Metro - These formerly homeless people have shared the best things you can do to really make a difference

BetterMissions - The 7 Best Things to Give the Homeless Instead of Money

The Right To Shower - What Do People Experiencing Homelessness Need Most Besides Shelter?

#writing #writing research #writing help #writing advice #writing fanfiction #fanfiction help #writing reference #reference #writing references #homeless #characters #character #homeless character #original character #homelessness #homeless OC

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INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @idreamofhamandcheese

Who You Are:

Isabel || She/her

I'm from literally everywhere and my dream is to be Donna Tartt. I am a horrendously form over function type person who has deranged tendencies.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Drama, horror, mystery, and paranormal. Young adult and adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

I'm a third culture kid-- born in a country that doesn't align with my ethnicity and moved away from it at an early age, and I think that my writing, too, tends to be a blend. I can't decide between mystery and horror because for me, they're so intertwined. I have a preoccupation with legacy (last power of the written word and all that) which translates well into both genres-- in horror, I am fascinated by the past, and I think the same can be said for mystery.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Romance, or anything really fluffy. I think it's wonderful that other people can do it, but I can't not add something twisted. I'm more interested in exploring the dynamics of friendship than romance.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Teenage girls. I think modern YA is doing them a great disservice, and I say this as someone who loves the Hunger Games. Publishers are printing money with these identical books which I truly think are a bit insulting to your average teen reader-- most of whom are really into The Bell Jar and Virginia Woolf and Dorothy Parker. I will never disparage a teenage girl's love of fluffy YA (I loved These Violent Delights) but I think there's a gap in the market for a lot of young girls who ache for something that doesn't shy away from their ugly side.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Always friendship. Best friendship, the sort that's deeper than romantic love and the sort that can turn hideous. Murder, both for gore and the questions it raises. I like messy characters, unlikable ones, ones that get worse as the book goes on. I like writing train wrecks. I want rubbernecking readers, really.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

I'll really try anything. What I don't like are books that present themselves as fully rounded, complex novels, but are actually only about the main character's devotion to some guy. It's fine to write a romance book with only that relationship plotline, but I'm very turned off by the main character having no agency. I can't stand much of Colleen Hoover's It Ends With Us because of this-- Lily just didn't feel like a person. I was acutely aware she was words on the page or a microphone stand for CoHo.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

It isn't titled because I cannot title things for the life of me, but in brief, a story of a girl with vengeful tendencies and mortician parents who becomes intertwined with an it-girl flapper murdered a hundred years prior at the elite boarding school they both, at a point in time, attended. It's a lot about my own complicated feelings toward justice and anger and all the things we keep buried deep. This iteration is new-ish, but the story has been with me a while.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

Of course I adore the craft, but really my biggest goal is for my book to mean something to someone like my favorite books have meant to me.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

Forever and ever. I was an obsessive reader (I'm an obsessive person) and I parroted my earliest favorites, which tended to be the more macabre-leaning children's series (Goosebumps, Unfortunate Events, etc.).

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

It feel like thin air, but really it's everywhere. A first line generally springs to mind without a plot to back it up. From there, it's a quilt of things-- a lipstick imprint on a Starbucks cup, my eBay typewriter, watching a friend wipe hairdye from her temple. Anything and everything goes in my notebook.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Always my latest one. Writing is not easy for me. I work incredibly hard at it, and I like to think I find something to improve with every work.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

Some journalism, no fiction. Publishing a book is my singular dream.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

I think writing the acknowledgments and dedication. I have a lot to say about writing and a lot of thanks to give. This would be my "I made it" moment, I think. As for least appealing, I have the patience of a shrew, so querying is terrifying.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

Very boring answer, but I love drafting. Word on page type stuff. Can't stand editing.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

Wherever, whenever the mood strikes. I've finally learned there is no writing magic. I try to write every day, but I don't force it anymore. I have picked up awful habits from NaNoWriMo, as much as I appreciate it for getting me involved in the community. I like a bit of background chatter, ideally, and to work late morning, early afternoon. But I am too busy to be fussy, really.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

Been on tumblr far too long but only this past year as a writeblr. Honestly, I just think I was bored one day.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

@the-stray-storyteller & @avocado-frog are great and from a little discord server.

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

It's an unusually serene corner of the internet.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

I would love to see more organized events like this one!!

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

To be honest, I mostly stay in my little hovel. I'm ridiculously behind on tag games.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

poetry, little snippets of your work. it isn't self indulgent. i want to read it.

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

love a good tag game.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

nope.

#iwaw #writeblr celebration #writeblr event #writeblr #writing community

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tarnishedxknight · 1 month

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OC Muse: Munoh, an Independent (Heretic) Occuria

[Bio and other information below the cut!]

Type of Character & Fandom/Source Material: OC character, Munoh (Mew-NO) the Occuria, from the FFXII fandom.

FC: Themself! I actually sat down and edited a pic of an Occuria, putting together an entirely new one from parts of at least four of them, heh. So they should look like an Occuria, but not like any of the canon ones. I tried! XD Below is the whole version of the pic that I used for the banner, sans their magical glow so you can see the detail in their body. =)

Alignment: Neutral Good

Race: Occuria

Age: Ancient (in other words, nobody really knows, heh)

Gender: Agender (without gender)

Preferred pronouns: They honestly don't care if you use she/her or he/him, that really doesn't bother them, but they prefer they/them. They do take offense to the use of "it," as they see that as condescending.

Personal identity: They refer to themselves as "I," not as "we" as most Occuria do. They share this practice with Venat, for the same reasons. Having defected from the views that humekind needs to be guided to perform the will of the Occuria to maintain balance, Munoh no longer considers themself part of the collective, and therefore, quite rebelliously, refers to themself as "I," "me," and "myself," instead of "we," "us," and "ourselves.")

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: None

Family: I suppose the other Occuria, but they're pretty damn angry at Munoh right now. XD

Potentially Triggering Material in Threads: war; violence; trauma; mental illness; manipulation; depression

Positive Personality Traits: They are empathetic, curious, determined, understanding, and helpful. They are also very good listeners, and genuinely care about the well-being of humes and other mortal races.

Negative Personality Traits: The biggest one is arrogance, which all Occuria share due to their age and immense power, but as far as Occuria go, Munoh is not nearly as arrogant as some of the others. They can also become nervous and tend to fret if they are worried about something or someone. They will lash out against anyone or anything that threatens their current chosen mortal that they are overseeing.

BACKGROUND:

Not much is known about the Occuria. At the time FFXII takes place, they are considered gods by the hume (human) race because of their ancient age, their magical power, and their ability to hold sway over mankind. The Occuria are essentially the last members of an extremely powerful, magical race of incorporeal beings with the ability to shapeshift, make themselves invisible, make themselves inaudible, and to bestow power and magical ability onto mortals. Centuries ago, they bestowed magical powers upon King Raithwall, the first Dynast King and Ashelia's ancestor.

The last remaining members of this race have formed a council of sorts who feel it is their duty to maintain balance and order. If one hume nation, country, kingdom, empire, etc. becomes too powerful, it is punished and reduced in some way. If one has been wronged, it is raised up, assisted, or granted help through the process of selecting a "chosen savior." This is a hume the Occuria have chosen to act on Earth and in Ivalice to push the tide of war back towards balance.

For example, in FFXII, Ashelia is chosen by the Occurian council, partly because of her blood connection to Raithwall and partially because of the injustice done to Dalmasca, and granted a magical sword to help her create powerful nethicite weapons from a much larger cryst. With the shards she could cut from that cryst with the sword the Occuria granted her, she could obliterate the Archadian Empire, thus restoring balance and avenging her kingdom. Billions of innocent people would die in the process, but this was necessary to restore balance the Occuria said.

In FFXII, there is one Occuria named Venat who defects from the council. They believe that mankind should control its own fate, not be forced to adhere to the guidance of the Occuria. They do not need guidance, and should be permitted and free to explore and reach their full potential, whatever that may be. To prove this point, he chooses Vayne Solidor as his "savior" and guides him to amass as much power as he wishes by developing a manmade form of nethicite (manufacted nethicite) that is made in a laboratory (through Dr. Cid's research) from magicite ore. This would allow Vayne an endless supply of nethicite that does not need to be granted him by the Occuria. Deifacted nethicite is only bestowed by the Occuria using a sword given to their chosen one with which they cut a large cryst the location of which is only shared with that person. So Vayne eagerly accepts this guidance from Venat, wanting to expand the Archadian Empire indefinitely.

Now... where Munoh comes in... is that they have also defected from the Occurian council, so they do not believe in guiding (or coercing, manipulating, tricking, etc.) humes into potentially committing terrible atrocities for the purpose of "resetting the world balance." However, unlike Venat, Munoh does not believe humes should run amok and take what they want at the expense of others either. Munoh believes in not pushing humes to do anything they don't want to do, and instead, just letting them live their lives. If they destroy themselves, that might be their destiny, but it could just as easily be that they will restore balance on their own through their own means and with their own minds. They don't believe the Occuria should intervene at all.

Their views have gotten them rejected from the Occurian council and thrown into exile on Earth, something they... really don't mind. In checking up on the last remaining living descendants of Raithwall, Munoh saw that the council was already manipulating Ashelia Dalmasca. Their searches took them to a very distraught Caelen Dalmasca (see his info post for more detail on him), one of Ashelia's brothers. Seen as a pathetic failure by the Occurian council because he lacked the drive and rage Ashelia possessed for exacting revenge on the Archadian Empire, he was ignored by the ancient beings. So Munoh... took him under their wing, so to speak.

Again, you can read up on Caelen to find out more about his relationship with Munoh and how other humes viewed him because of it, but essentially Munoh encouraged Caelen to make some kind of difference in the world... but in a way he wanted to, not because anyone told him to, or because he felt like it was expected of him. Munoh celebrates the free will and unpredictability of humes and finds it very beautiful. Sometimes it is used for and brings about evil, but sometimes it is used for and brings about goodness too. Munoh believes Caelen has a good heart and wants to support him in his endeavors, offering aid here and there when it is needed but otherwise simply keeping Caelen company as he tries to sort out his life. They are fiercely protective of him (or of any muse they might decide upon as their "chosen one") and will protect him if need be.

Potential Starter Ideas:

Your muse might encounter Munoh with Caelen if he's the focus of a thread, or Munoh might approach your muse if they're someone Caelen has been interacting with. Maybe your muse thought Caelen had mental health issues, talking to and interacting with thin air, until that thin air appeared before them and starting talking to them too. XD

Or your muse could be chosen by Munoh, which means they'll offer their guidance and help for whatever your muse wants to achieve in life. Maybe they've taken an interest in your muse and have some questions, wanting to know more about them. Maybe your muse's motives confuse them and they want clarification. They are a very curious sort. =)

Munoh might be convinced to help in certain battles or to oppose Venat, for muses who might be in a FFXII setting. But this would definitely take some convincing because they usually like to stay out of human conflict.

I'm not sure how Munoh would fit into a MCU verse, but I'm sure we could work something out!

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #oc muse: munoh

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starmoongalaxysystem · 1 year

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DID/OSDD System

SYSTEM INTRODUCTION

Hai! We're the Starmoon Galaxy System. We tend to go by Techie collectively (cute nickname referring to our prowess with the Minecraft mod known as ComputerCraft or it's descendant, CC: Tweaked) and we use they/them pronouns.

MEMBER INTRODUCTION

My name is Aster. I'm the main Host. I'm about 17-19 years old. I'm non-binary and asexual and use they/them pronouns. Typically, most posts/comments will have my "tag" or signature on them. This will appear as "~Aster" or "~⍟".

Heya folks! Name's Raven. I'm about 13-16 years old! I'm a cis girl, bi-curious and I use she/her pronouns. My "tag" is typically "~Raven", "~Rave", or "~𓄿".

Greetings. My sound-call is "Rogue Syn". I'm unsure about my age and my gender. I currently use she/her and they/them tags and have no procreation drive/intent/desire. My "tags" are "~Rogue Syn", "~Rogue", and "~ʚɞ".

[Text ID: "Greetings. My sound-call is "Rogue Syn". I'm unsure about my age and my gender. I currently use she/her and they/them tags and have no procreation drive/intent/desire. My "tags" are "~Rogue Syn", "~Rogue" and "~ʚɞ".]

Erm, hi? I guess? My name is Silver. I'm roughly 16-18 years old. I'm not sure what label I'd use for my gender, but I know I'm definitely masc, so use he/him when referring to me please. My tag is typically "~Silver", "~S", "~Silv" or "~📖".

Hewo!!! My name is Kia!!! I is onwee abouts... 5-10 years old!!! If I talk at alls on heres, it'll be using da tags "~Kia" or "~🍭". Hehe byeeeeessss!!!

WHAT IS DID?

DID, full name Dissociative Identity Disorder, (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder or Split Personality Disorder) is a disorder where you have multiple "personas" within your mind. This "personas" are called "alters" or "headmates" (headmates is more community-coined, while alters is more medically-coined). Each alter has their own past, character traits, likes and dislikes.

You can have as little as 2 alters within a single system or you can have more than 2,000 alters within a system. Different alters will "front" (become the main personality) during different times. Some alters may be triggered to front if the threat of abuse arises, or they may front to help get a specific task done.

DID AMNESIA

Majority of DID systems will experience some form of amnesia. There are 6 types of amnesia: localised, selective, continuous, systematised, generalised, and dissociative fugue.

Localised amnesia is best described as forgetting a specific event or series of events. This could be anything from a single traumatic event to a time period in which abuse occured.

Selective amnesia is best described as forgetting parts of a specific event or series of events. This could be anything from specific details being forgotten or general details being forgotten while the specifics stay intact.

Continuous amnesia is best described as forgetting constantly. There can be a trigger for this type of amnesia, but there isn't always a trigger.

Systematised amnesia is best described as forgetting memories of a particular category or person. For example, a system may forget all memories of a specific person or concerning a specific subject.

Generalised amnesia is best described as an individual forgetting themselves entirely. Well established skills can be lost, as well as smaller memories (what you ate for lunch, who you talked to 5 minutes ago, etc). This form of amnesia is considered rare.

Dissociative fugue is extremely rare, only affecting 0.2% of the population. During an episode of dissociative fugue, the victim may wander around confused and bewildered. They may experience memory loss and an inability to recognise people they know. This type of amnesiac episode can last a few hours or even months. During the episode, the victim will act relatively normal, but once it recedes, they may be left in a confusing situation (perhaps they got a new job or a new home and now the victim has no idea what is going on).

CAUSES OF DID

The believed cause of DID is severe, prolonged exposure to abuse in childhood. This could be a specific abuse type or general abuse.

TREATMENT FOR DID

The most common treatment for DID is psychotherapy (talk therapy). Some systems may attempt integration or fusion. Integration is basically "combining" two or more alters. This means the personality, trauma, quirks and everything else that makes the alters integrated becomes a part of a "new" alter, one that is a combination of the alters. Fusion, on the other hand, is when alters come so close together that they act as one person, with thoughts intermingling and seemingly coming from one personality. This is not always the best thing for a system. Sometimes functional multiplicity is a better goal.

Functional Multiplicity is when a system works towards being able to work together more effectively. This means working on reducing arguments and bad blood between alters, enhancing internal communication, positive bonds between alters and the alters helping each other.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE DID

Seek out a medical diagnosis. Only a medical professional can correctly diagnose you. Yes, you can take note of symptoms and bring them up with your doctor, but only they know the criteria needed to get a diagnosis.

DISCLAIMER: This Tumblr is not ran by a medical professional. Any information concerning DID or any other medical condition is a collection of what the Starmoon Galaxy system has both researched and experienced personally. Please, do not take our word as law here. We are merely detailing our own personal journey and what we as a system have experienced. EVERY DID system is different. There is no normal for DID. There is only common.

SOURCES Center Stone article Cleveland Clinic article AAMFT article Power To The Plurals article Blog post about fusion Kinhost article

#did #did system #did osdd #did community #did alter #did information #dissociative system #osdd #introject #plural #traumagenic system #not a medical professional #system stuff #system #headmates #aster #alter

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alexanderzeegreat · 3 years

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Are You Confused About Ageplay/Regression?

(Don’t Worry, So Are Lotsa People)

Hello, friends! I wanted to write a thingy for those new to the world of ageplay/regression; because when I first started to explore it, I quickly realized I had no terminology or understanding of the complications of this world. I hope this gives some degree of clarity to anyone feeling confused.

The first important thing to say is this is a consensual world comprised entirely of legal adults. The definition of a legal, consenting adult depends on national/local laws, but they should govern your interactions 100%. While there are undoubtedly littles/regressors who are minors (I was one once!), those legally defined as minors should not interact with legal adults in ageplay/regression activities (and vice versa, obvz!).

It seems to me there are three basic groups that I can use to describe ageplay/regression; I don’t think these groups are discreet—there is fluidity among each one, so someone who heavily identifies with Group Two, for example, may also find connections with parts of an identity of Group One or Three. These groups cross all boundaries of race, gender, sexuality, etc and are not confined by monoliths or binaries. This is a world of freedom, experimentation, fluidity, and play inside and outside of the self, a place where trans/bi/lesbian/gay/asexual/queer/intersex, etc are welcome.

GROUP ONE: primarily defined by individuals who adopt an age other (usually younger) than their own to play a role. In this role, the ageplay individual may (or may not) experiment with sexual play and all attendant idiosyncrasies and kinks attached to it, such as (but not limited to), dominance/submission, puppy play, diapers, gay/straight sex, discipline, chastity, etc. The differentiating feature of this group is that their ageplay is voluntary, discreet, and often a means to an end (for example, playing out a scene). There is usually no larger connection to the play age other than the taking on of a role. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

GROUP TWO: those in this group are defined by their voluntary regression (as opposed to the playing of role) in which they creatively and seamlessly embody a younger version of themselves (as opposed to a character—though the regressed self MIGHT carry a different name). Folks in this group have a profound and meaningful connection to their little side, sometimes referred to as an “inner child.” As opposed to those in the first group, their regression is usually (though not always) disconnected from their sexuality and focused instead on nurturing, play, and freedom. Group two littles/middles/regressors sometimes (though not always) have a caregiver who watches over them, and this can sometimes (though not always) take the form of a parental dynamic which might (though not always) include rules, discipline, and (non-sexual) punishments. This is the group I most closely identify with, and thus, the one I feel like I have the best handle on. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

GROUP THREE: people in this group are usually comprised of those who (mostly) involuntarily regress to a younger age or for whom regression is neither roleplay nor a means of experimentation/play but instead a lived-life reality often connected to trauma, abuse, and abandonment during their chronological childhood. For those in this group, regression can be (though isn’t always) therapeutic, or, at the very least, a coping mechanism for the difficulties associated with recovery. Because those who are in group three have relatively little control over their regression—and because they fully and completely inhabit the mind of a child—they need protection from triggers for trauma and from the dissonances of the adult world that might frighten or (re)traumatize them. This protection comes often in the form of a caregiver but can also include a community of other regressors who create strict content rules and police them from the outside. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

USEFUL TERMINOLOGY

DNI: Do Not Interact—often used by those in Group Three (or any other individual for whom ageplay/regression is inherently nonsexual) who engage with tumblr and other social media through involuntary regression and who seek to avoid triggers that might (re)traumatize or expose them to material not suitable for their regressed age. If you accidentally repost or respond to a DNI post and you are asked to stop, please apologize and do so.

NSFW: Not Safe For Work—used to indicate material that crosses over into the adult world; think anything PG13 and up. If it is something you’d be embarrassed to share with a coworker or colleague, it is NSFW. More importantly for this world, if it is material you would not show a child (or an adult regressed as a child), it is NSFW.

ABDL: Adult Baby/Diaper Lover—usually not disarticulated, though there are some Adult Babies who do not wear diapers and some Diaper Lovers who identify outside the realms of baby/toddlerhood. These would be individuals who define their little /regressed side as baby-early toddler and for whom the wearing of diapers is integral to their role/regression. The reasons or meaning of the diaper can be radically different depending on the individual and can run the spectrum from sexualized to punitive to comforting to conventional baby attire. Some ABDLs are also individuals who routinely struggle with incontinence either in their play/regressed self or in their adult world.

Little—any individual who identifies their role/inner age roughly between infant and school-aged; this is a pretty broad term, and I have seen it used to describe the ages 0-11, though the sweet spot tends to be 2-6.

Middle—a bit confusing, tbh: I used to think a middle was anyone who did not identity as a baby/toddler, but now it seems to describe ageplay/regression from preteen to teenager, let’s say ages 8-17, though I do think the sweet spot is more 12-14.

CG: Caregiver—any individual whose sole function is to provide care, affection, attention, and love to a little/middle/regressor. This can include the terminology/relationship of family, such as daddy, mommy, uncle, brother, aunt, etc. Or it can be non-defined and amorphous. Sometimes abbreviated “CG,” a caregiver relationship may or may not include discipline/punishment but is mostly non-disciplinary and inherently nonsexual.

DDLB/DDLG & MDLB/MDLG: Daddy (Mommy) Dom/Little Boy (Girl)—used to describe a dynamic whereby the caregiver of a little/middle/regressor mirrors some of the cadences of a Dom/Sub relationship, though this can be as mild as a conventional parental relationship—where there are rules, discipline, and punishments—to something hypersexualized and more in line with hardcore dominance and submission dynamics.

CGLRE: Caregiver Little Regressor—like DD(M)/LB(G) only completely nonsexual, though what that means can be contested. For example, some CGLRE folx see the imposition of any kind of discipline/punishment/rules on a little/regressor as inherently sexual (even parental discipline) and would, therefore, not include that dynamic as part of an authentic CGLRE relationship.

IMPORTANT NOTE: this list is by no means meant to be exhaustive and is only one boy’s understanding of a very vast and intricate dynamic, so friendly amendments, comments, suggestions, and clarifications are very welcome. NOT WELCOME: those who already harbor generalized prejudice or judgmental views about ageplay and regression; claims of any kind of authenticity or authority over what being little or regressed REALLY is/means; vitriol, hate, judgmental/self-righteousness, and other general meanie headedness. Such folx will be immediately and cheerfully blocked. I don’t/won’t listen to any of that noise, mkay?

The important thing is—no matter where you fit (or don’t) in this list/world, you treat those outside (and inside) your group with compassion, empathy, respect, and kindness. I will close by saying littles/regressors/middles/CGs/daddies/mommies are some of the nicest, sweetest, generous, and loving people I’ve ever met, and I am proud to be a part of this world <3

Please share this with anyone you think might need it!

Love, Zander

#zanderspeaks

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vhenanshiral · 3 years

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On the Topic of Seiya Kou.

This is a Sailor Moon post rather than a Dragon Age post. Shocker, I know, but Sailor Moon is another one of my loves. This will focus on the 90s anime adaptation of the manga. So do not come at me with “but in the manga,” because the 90s adaptation and the manga were incredibly different in multiple ways. Seiya will be referred to as she/her because the male form was a disguise. That being said, any interpretation of Seiya’s gender is valid and I love them all! Anyway. I see a lot of shit talking about Seiya and it’s honestly ... super tiring. So many of the “negative” points against Seiya are misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misrepresented for the sake of making her look like a dumpster fire. 1. “Seiya is creepy towards Usagi and stalks her.” Except ... she doesn’t. They meet by accident numerous times, and in fact Usagi even seeks Seiya out. They develop a friendship, and it’s normal and natural for friends to seek each other out. Usagi and the girls actually, literally stalk the Three Lights more than once during the season. 2. “Seiya thinks Usagi is weak because she told Mamoru to take care of her when they left.” This honestly makes no sense to me. It is repeatedly shown that Seiya admires Usagi’s strength, both as Usagi and as Sailor Moon. It is natural to want the people you love to be protected, and that does not mean that you think they’re weak and incapable of protecting themselves. Seiya knew Usagi was capable and strong because she had seen her demonstrate these traits multiple times. Throughout the season, Seiya repeatedly lifts Usagi up with her confidence in her capabilities. This is even before she knows she is Sailor Moon. Let’s not forget that when Galaxia kills all of the Inners, they ask the Starlights to protect Sailor Moon, so saying that Seiya telling Mamoru to take care of her means she thinks she is weak ... that must mean everyone else thinks she is too, right? It’s absurd. 3. “Seiya can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, always hits on her, and is constantly pressuring her into a relationship.” It is true that Seiya repeatedly quips about “having a chance” with Usagi. It’s also true that Usagi repeatedly reminds Seiya that she has a boyfriend. But it isn’t true that Seiya repeatedly attempts to coerce her into a relationship. It also isn’t true that she does it all the time. While she shouldn’t have done it even more than once (when she was unaware of Usagi’s relationship status,) it’s obvious from the context that she isn’t being serious. Seiya repeatedly making quips is an issue, and while those kinds of situations can and often do mean someone is being a “Nice Guy,” a predator, an abuser, etc., we know from everything that we see that it is not the case with Seiya. Let’s take the “date,” for an example: Seiya throws it out there (literally, just time and place and walks off) and Usagi willingly shows up the next day and is even irritated that Seiya is late. Usagi is not forced or coerced into the date; she retains all of the power regarding whether or not she shows up. She would not have gone if she didn’t want to. Actually, let’s look at these instances of Seiya hitting/making a move on Usagi. - In the “date” episode, Usagi thinks that Seiya is going to make a move on her. Some suggest that Usagi thinks she is going to kiss her, but the language, Usagi’s expressions, and her reaction to the truth seem to imply that she thinks Seiya is suggesting something more intimate. - In the episode with the beach monster when Chibi Chibi opens up the door and pushes Seiya over on to Usagi, Usagi is the one who, again, assumes Seiya is up to No Good, despite it being a complete accident and innocent on Seiya’s part. - In the episode where Seiya spends the night at Usagi’s because she’s alone and Seiya very nearly confesses who she is to Usagi while they’re in her bedroom, it is Usagi who believes that Seiya is going to confess to having a crush on her. - Later in that same episode, when they are hiding in the cabinet and Seiya again thinks about confessing her true identity to her, it is Usagi who thinks Seiya is about to suggest something intimate. In fact, throughout the season, it is everyone from Usagi, to the other girls, to single-episode characters, to even Luna who think that Seiya is going to suggest or attempt illicit activities with Usagi, and not Seiya. It is all but explicitly stated that Usagi is attracted to Seiya. Not just because of the implications of her assumptions, but also because she is scolded over it. In fact, Rei tells her that she needs to sort her feelings out. Haruka and Michiru forbid her from seeing Seiya because she has Mamoru. She may not love Seiya the same way, but she is attracted to her and she does love her (and Usagi being attracted to other people is not a new thing.) Let’s look at the softball episode, because it’s ... pretty problematic and people often point to it as being one of the episodes that paint Seiya as some creepy stalker who can’t just take a hint and tells everyone that Usagi is her girlfriend. It is Rei who thinks that Seiya training Usagi in softball is inappropriate (let’s remember that it is Ami who thinks that something illicit is going on with Seiya and Usagi in the bodyguard episode...) because Mamoru is Usagi’s boyfriend, not Seiya. It is Sonoko who insists that Seiya’s “relationship” with Usagi isn’t acceptable, and it is her that places the bet that if Seiya’s team loses, she’s not to associate with Usagi anymore. Seiya agrees because she’s competitive, hates to lose, has confidence in herself and Usagi, and knows that Sonoko is wrong. When Usagi tries to interject about the actual nature of their relationship (that they’re not dating,) it’s the girls who shush her because they’re expecting Seiya’s team to lose and that will give them the opportunity to make Seiya feel better. I want to touch on the “Seiya knows Sonoko is wrong” part. I think what a lot of people don’t think about is that when Sonoko placed this bet and openly stated her disapproval of Seiya spending time with Usagi, Sonoko was attacking Usagi’s worth as a person. She was openly saying that Usagi wasn’t good enough to be hanging out with Seiya in any capacity. Seiya took issue with this because she obviously believes and knows differently. She values Usagi as a person. Who is Sonoko to decide who is and isn’t good enough to spend time with her? Seiya is not approaching the situation with entirely selfish motives, unlike the girls who fed into the Seiya/Usagi romance for the hopeful eventuality of them being able to comfort Seiya after a loss when she’ll be forced to stop hanging out with Usagi. She uses this situation to help bolster Usagi’s confidence in herself. That doesn’t change the fact that the bet is stupid to begin with, but it is what it is. Oh, additionally ... Seiya doesn’t tell the school that she and Usagi are dating. Them dating is an assumption that Seiya simply doesn’t correct. It’s worth noting that if she did correct that assumption, it would feed into Sonoko’s declaration that Usagi isn’t good enough to be with Seiya. 4. “Seiya tried to make the rooftop scene about herself and used it as a way to try to take Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life.” This whole entire scene is consistently misinterpreted and has all of the context ripped from it, because that is not what that scene is. No, it 100% was not the best time for Seiya to ask that question (and no, it is not “can I take his place?” that she says,) but people tend to forget that Usagi is not the only vulnerable person in this scene and it isn’t just about her. It is Seiya who triggers Usagi’s emotional breakdown on accident, and in these moments she is watching the person she loves crumble into pieces. The rooftop scene is about both of them and the context makes that clear. Up until this point, the only person who knew that Mamoru wasn’t keeping in contact with Usagi was Seiya. None of the girls knew, none of them. Imagine the amount of trust Usagi had to have in Seiya in order to share that incredibly sensitive information with her and with no one else, not even her closest friends. Usagi had told Seiya a whole 13 episodes before this one, and since finding out Seiya tried her best to make Usagi happy and to keep her mind busy. It isn’t until a few episodes after this that everyone including Seiya finds out that Mamoru is dead. So Seiya spends all of this time believing that Mamoru ditched Usagi when he moved overseas and that he’s a horrible boyfriend who obviously doesn’t care about Usagi. This is naturally hurtful to Seiya, who grows to genuinely like and love Usagi through the season. She cares for her and doesn’t want to see her in pain, which is why she does her best to help Usagi feel less alone. There is no point in the season where Seiya’s intentions are to maliciously shove herself into Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life. She has no idea who Tuxedo Mask is. She had no idea that throwing the red rose - her own personal trademark - was going to trigger such an emotional response from Usagi. So here they both are on this rooftop in the middle of the pouring rain. Usagi’s breaking down over how alone she feels, and Seiya’s suddenly faced with the realization that not only did she cause this breakdown, everything she had been trying to do to help her wasn’t working and she failed again. She couldn’t save her system/planets, 99.9% of her people are literally dead because she wasn’t strong enough to save them, and she and the other two members of her team had no idea where their princess was or even if she was okay until the episode before this one. Immediately after the destruction of everything they knew, the Starlights had to flee to an alien planet with alien people, disguise themselves, and pander to a bunch of complete strangers that salivated over, stalked, and harassed them, all while searching for their princess and fighting the minions of the person who ctrl+a ctrl+x’ed their home system. She had no time to process any of the unimaginable loss and failure she had suffered through. When people talk about the rooftop scene and about how Seiya “makes it about herself,” this is everything they’re forgetting. When Seiya is asking Usagi if she isn’t good enough, it isn’t Seiya trying to weasel her way in, it’s Seiya both coping with her own numerous losses and trying to remind Usagi that she’s there for her. In the end, Seiya is the one that Usagi credits with being able to get herself through everything she was dealing with.

#sailor moon #sailor star fighter #eternal sailor moon #seiya x usagi #seiya/usagi #seiusa #bssm #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #90s sailor moon #pretty soldier sailor moon #usagi tsukino #tsukino usagi #seiya kou #kou seiya #sailor stars #sailor starlights

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curlsofsagesmoke · 3 years

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TMNT (2012) characters as dysfunctional family roles

here I go again analyzing a kids show that ended four years ago. anyway, I saw a tiktok by user doinbigthink where they gave a quick overview of the six kinds of dysfunctional family roles, and I immediately thought of tmnt bc it’s my current hyperfixation. so I spent almost an hour doing research and writing up this analysis, as one does.

as a preface: dysfunction in a family can be caused by anything from someone struggling with addiction to a parent being abusive or unavailable/neglectful to someone having narcissistic personality disorder (npd) etc. etc. Usually there is one person who is the root cause of this (very deep seated) dysfunction and the others in the family (often the kids) fall into these roles in order to cope.

Leo: The Hero

The Hero is often the oldest child. They cope with the dysfunction in the family by being high achievers or perfectionists, and they need a sense of control in order to feel safe within the family. They are seen as very well-adjusted, balanced, and high-functional and are often used as an example of how well the family as a whole is doing. They may allow this misconception to continue (whether consciously or unconsciously) in order to hide the family’s problems. They may be parentified as children (that is, forced to take on a parental role for their younger siblings) and usually feel a lot of pressure to solve the family’s issues. With Leo in particular, you see these two behaviors in the way he approaches leading his brothers as well as the way he obsessed over bringing Karai into the family for Splinter’s sake after discovering her true identity. As an adult, the Hero is often drawn toward romantic partners who are emotionally unavailable (again, see Leo’s crush on Karai) and tend to throw themselves into their work (Leo’s obsession with ninjutsu)

Leo: The Golden Child

The Golden Child is not a dysfunctional family role but instead describes a relationship that develops between a parent/guardian with npd and one of the children in the family. In these cases, the parent tends to favor the Golden Child because the Golden Child exhibits all the traits the parent loves in themselves. In Splinter and Leo’s case, these characteristics are their devotion to ninjutsu, their general temperaments, and their more spiritual/mystic natures. There are MANY examples of this favoritism in TMNT canon; for example, Splinter teaching Leo his reiki technique (the healing hands) in “the deadly venom” because everyone things Leo is the most capable of learning such an advanced technique (in the episode, Donnie says that he doesn’t think anyone else on the team could’ve done what Leo did, i.e. using the healing hands on himself and saving the others from karai). The parent has a volatile relationship with the Golden Child and often their love is conditional (that is, the parent will favor the Golden Child as long as the Golden Child continues to act like the parent). Because of this, the Golden Child often has trouble establishing an independent identity (see: Raph calling Leo “Splinter Jr.”, though I can’t remember if this happens in 2012 or just in the 2003 version). The Golden Child may also participate in the narcissistic parent’s abuse against the other children in order to protect themself (this is less explicit in canon, but I think that Leo’s leadership style fits this bill)

Raph: The Scapegoat

The Scapegoat is often the second child. As the name suggests, they are often blamed for things that go wrong in the family regardless of whether it was actually their fault or not. Scapegoats are often very aware of their position in the family and as a result they may feel rejected, isolated, and unlovable. I think a good example of Raph feeling like this is the fact that, early in the show, he only openly expresses his emotions to Spike. Scapegoats learn that negative attention is better than no attention (especially from a parent/guardian) and they often engage in high risk behaviors such as sex, drugs, etc. (in Raph’s case, his reckless fighting style and the way he seeks out fights, and this also explains his temper and overall angry demeanor). Because of this, they tend to get into a lot of trouble and are often singled out as the child who needs individual help (aka therapy) even though the root problems lie with the family as a unit. In cases where the parent has npd the Scapegoat is often pitted against the Golden Child. This is called splitting and it is another way to distract from the family’s deeper issues. I feel like I don’t need to explain the way that Leo and Raph are pitted against each other.

Donnie: The Lost Child

The Lost Child, as the name implies, often fades into the background. Usually this is on purpose in an effort to keep themself safe, as they might be scared to draw attention to themself or rock the boat, especially in an abusive household. They may often feel ignored or neglected and are often described as loners who have difficulty developing social skills or self-esteem. Like the Hero, the Lost Child is often used as an example of the family’s stability and success because they aren’t causing trouble. They tend to struggle when forming friendships/romantic relationships, and they are usually praised for not needing a lot of attention/being independent. Because of this, they feel safer when they’re by themselves. Although Donnie does cause trouble sometimes (see: all the times he’s blown some shit up in the lab, the Mutagen man thing, etc.), he’s not seen as the troublemaker. Raph (and Mikey, to a certain extent) definitely takes that title. Donnie is often alone in his lab---working, admittedly, but he still tends to isolate himself, and he is often seen as the most socially awkward of the brothers (see: his relationship with April). There’s also this very interesting exchange from the episode “Enemy of My Enemy” when they’re in the Shellraiser and Leo is about to take the stealth bike to help Karai:

Raph: Hey, the stealth bike’s my thing. Leo: Now your thing is sucking it up. Donnie: Hey! That’s my thing!

Mikey: The Mascot

The Mascot is often the youngest child. They use humor and goofiness to diffuse tension and distract the family from their issues, though when this works, they feel increased pressure to continue to step in when things become tense or volatile. The Mascot acts from a place of anxiety and trauma, and they may have bouts of depression. They also tend to feel as though they cannot express their negative emotions (because they often see themselves as responsible for their family’s happiness). They tend to bend over backwards for people with little regard for their own safety/comfort, and they are drawn to intense and dysfunctional relationships (whether romantic or platonic) where they will be called upon to diffuse tension. This can be seen in the way Mikey approached his friendships with both Bradford (pre-mutation) and Leatherhead. Mikey is also very rarely shown as being sad, angry, or depressed the way that the other three are, and it’s only in times of extreme emotional distress (like the season two finale) where he drops his humor. Even in the midst of tough battles or tough situations, Mikey tends to insert himself into the middle of the tension and is almost constantly cracking jokes or trying to keep things lighthearted. When he does show more negative emotions, it’s in (mostly) one of two ways. One, giving comfort or seeking comfort, usually from Raph (again see the season two finale, where he hugs Raph to calm him down after Splinter “dies” and seeks comfort from Raph in the Party Wagon as they’re driving away from the city). Two, acting combative with Donnie.

Note: Mikey and Donnie acting combative

This second one in particular is really interesting to me because both Donnie and Mikey exhibit a level of comfort/feeling safe with each other that they don’t display with the other two. Mikey only ever gets physical with Donnie (their little slap fight in “Turtle Temper” or attacking him at the end of “The Creeping Doom”), while Donnie only ever purposefully antagonizes Mikey to get a reaction (slapping him in “Turtle Temper”, which prompts the slap fight, or teasingly insulting him at the end of “The Creeping Doom”, which prompts Mikey to attack him). Mikey likes to get under Raph’s skin, but he never retaliates when Raph gets physical with him. Donnie does occasionally argue with Raph and Leo, but usually backs down after Raph threatens him with violence (see “New Girl in Town”), and with Leo it never escalates past a verbal fight (see the season two finale, “the fourfold trap”). Actually, it seems that in Mikey’s and Donnie’s relationship, they take on the roles that you usually see in Raph’s and Mikey’s relationship. Mikey antagonizes Raph and Raph retaliates; similarly, Donnie antagonizes Mikey and Mikey retaliates, but neither of them would act this way toward their other two brothers.

Splinter: The Root of the Dysfunction

I’ve made a lot of allusions by now to Splinter having npd, or at least some narcissistic tendencies. There are many times where he shows favoritism toward Leo or acts in a very stubborn or even self-absorbed manner. In the season one finale, for example, he refuses to help the turtles fight and only leaves the lair after april is kidnapped by the shredder. In “the pulverizer returns”, he makes the turtles switch weapons (for literally no good reason), they almost die in a fight and switch back, and as punishment, he takes their weapons away entirely; this isn’t addressed in the episode, but i do believe that if they’d had their weapons, they could’ve prevented timothy from being mutated in this episode. (Admittedly there are times when he apologizes, admits he’s wrong, and changes his mind, which is why I hesitate to say he exhibits fully narcissistic behaviors). There’s also the physical aspect of their relationship. He’s teaching the turtles ninjutsu, so you can expect a very physical relationship in the form of training, but there are times when he causes the turtles pain for the sake of pain as punishment (e.g. randori, which we see a few times, or when he goes for their pressure points, or when he trips mikey in the episode “monkey brains”, or when he stabs raph with his cane in the episode “turtle temper”, and these are just the examples i can think of off the top of my head). There has been discourse in the fandom about whether these characters (splinter and raph in particular) are abusive, and i don’t want to get into that. However, i think it’s undeniable that splinter raised his kids with the intent to turn them into child soldiers, and also i fully believe that this (plus his parenting style) is the root of the dysfunction in the hamato family.

#I cannot believe I spent 45 minutes researching dysfunctional family roles and writing this up #anyway #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #leonardo #michelangelo #donatello #raphael #splinter #Leo 2012 #donnie 2012 #Raph 2012 #Mikey 2012 #splinter 2012 #analysis

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astrolology · 4 years

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The Love-Hate Relationship with Stelliums (Pt. 1) ✨

Guysss pls remember that astrology is holistic and this should be read taking into account your overall chart placements, as well as the planets in your stellium and what sign rules your stellium. TAKE NOTE lol

1st house

❤️: You may be a person who is very driven towards a particular goal, single-minded in behavior and with a sense of determination that is hard to beat. The focus is on self-improvement and is rather internally driven - there can be large amounts of time focused on figuring one’s identity out. You’re not afraid to say things as they are - you’re able to dish out criticism hard but you give credit when its due. You extend the courtesy you receive to others. You may have an innate sense of wisdom that you keep deep within that you don’t let slip unless to extremely close ones but in times of hardship you are a good source of motivation. You always seek to improve yourself and it’s hard (if not impossible) to drag you down because of your strong personality and how you tend to always move on no matter what. I think 1st house stelliums are the embodiment of “don’t look back” and y’all always try to make the best out of every best situation, sort of like seeing the silver lining in everything. And also when crises emerge you’re able to keep a calm head on your shoulders and are good at making snap decisions, which makes you good on your feet!

👹: I don’t think y’all are as self-absorbed as ppl make you out to be but there’s definitely an element of self-centredness such that when you do something, you often consider what is most convenient or productive for you. You might get upset when your plans are disrupted but sometimes do the same to others even though you might be aware of what you’re doing - in that aspect, 1st house stelliums can be hypocritical. For you, there is never enough - you’re never satisfied with anything, be it yourself or for other things so you can seem really unappreciative. Keep in mind that you also tend to force others to agree with you and don’t be so quick to dismiss the other party’s POV no matter how dumb it seems. Remember that there’s always something to learn from other people, no matter their status. You need to work on expressing your appreciation to others in a more genuine manner (altho I know y’all do it in gruff, slightly awkward ways when sincere - kinda cute ngl).

2nd house

❤️: You may be a person who has a strong moral code and has a staunch value system that you won’t deviate from no matter what. Sense of loyalty is usually unbreakable and it can take a lot to truly anger you. You can have a good financial sense and good instincts/foresight that allow you to plan ahead for stability’s sake. More often than not in certain areas you are a master of categorising and structuring things which means that your mind is analytical, critical and (usually) organised. You hate it when people think they know you because you (understandably) know yourself the best - there are many privatised layers of yourself that you prefer to keep... private so yeah it just annoys you when that happens. Y’all are a leader in certain aspects of your life and even though 2nd house stelliums tend to prefer being the right-hand man, your control freak tendencies come out and you end up leading anyway. You become really productive because of the fear of failure - you have crazy high expectations for yourself and expect the same of your closed ones (although ultimately you’ll support them in whatever they do). There is an appreciation for the finer things in life and when it comes to your loved ones you’re not afraid to spoil them hard.

👹: Be careful not to let this driving need for stability restrict you from spontaneity and following your heart’s desire. There is an inherent inflexibility in your nature; stubbornness can really be your kryptonite. You don’t really take any opportunities that you think might threaten your security which, while giving you a stable fort, can hold you back in your own happiness + prosperity. You might realise that there is a limit to your perspective but really struggle in seeing outside of that perspective mainly because you spend so much time thinking about what matters to you that you’ve become accustomed to your train of thought (altho when you do break it it’s lowkey groundbreaking). The focus on this house is on stability, not only on material wealth, so while you may be reaping in one aspect you might tend to lack on the spiritual or emotional elements of life. You can be very, very controlling and demanding so you might want to tone it down a little if not people might get the wrong impression. People might think of you as judgemental (and you are tbh) but I believe it’s just 2nd house stellium’s way of assessing a person’s character/abilities.

3rd house

❤️: You may be a person who puts in a lot of effort into various forms of self-expression (not limited to verbal communication but also finding a specific niche such as music, art, writing etc.) Your brain is naturally sharp and inquisitive and you may be able to pick things up very quickly. You might be rather adaptable but are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to your opinion or intellectual capabilities. You might have a dark/dirty sense of humor and because of that you also have a keen ability to see past the societal nuances of propriety and get to the heart/root of whatever a person is saying. You can spend your entire life trying to understand people and why things work the way they work - your brain needs to be stimulated in order for you to feel alive. Passion for you has to be applied in a productive manner - you probably aren’t a person to just take a passion for something as a mere hobby. Rather, you would either apply that passion to one of your existing projects, create a new one or use it as a motivating factor. Your interests are wide and varied, which makes you really well-rounded in certain aspects!

👹: Many people say y’all are flighty beings and I can certainly see why they would think so. Because of your perceptiveness, you tend to change your narrative whenever you’re speaking to different people, so as to make yourself sound more convincing. In that aspect, you can be quite manipulative. Your ego probably isn’t the smallest either haha - you can tolerate being slighted at some things but if it’s a challenge to one of your passion projects you’ll probably become very upset. You need to stop giving people the hot and cold shoulder all the time and even though you’re quite sociable you tend to flaunt but hide your true thoughts. You have to be more open and honest in your self-expression, and not that idealised, constructed version of yourself you think people will find interesting. I’ve noticed that 3rd house stellium ppl have an obsessive need to “stand out” and make themselves feel unique which, despite all your charms and popularity, might be the reason why you find yourself sometimes so isolated. You’re a perfectionist (although you would deny it) and secretly quite controlling but unlike other stelliums you can manage it better I feel.

4th house

❤️: There is a pressing insistence regarding relationships in your inner circle - be it your family, closest friends, or your future family. Extended focus on your cultural heritage can also be possible. Deep down, compassion is at your core and you are very protective of your friends in a silent but aggressive way. Having a stable family life is very important to you but I’ve noticed that more often than not, 4th house stelliums have turbulent family relationships. The beauty of 4th house stelliums is their ability to break through whatever toxic relationships they’ve been in and to create families of their own - be it unconventional or not. They are the epitome of “we choose our own families”. Y’all can be very empathetic and rather selfless to the point where you allow yourself to be manipulated (even though you’re aware of it) - but it’s usually for a justifiable reason. You find it easier than most to balance the emotional landscape but there are moments where you need an outlet to express yourself. There can be an obsession/possessiveness over your own culture - you take pride in your roots and become lowkey insulted when people disrespect it (and if you don’t, you somehow nearly always manage to find some other culture to assimilate yourself in).

👹: Y’all probably get very upset when things don’t go your way but the problem with this stellium is that there is a want to speak out but you choose to bury everything inside instead - giving you a very passive-aggressive and even aloof image. Internally, you guys might think that you are giving off a very soft/giving aura but some people are wary precisely because you are hard to read. You are very, intensely private (rivalling 2nd/7th house tbh) and you have to learn how to share your true thoughts, no bullshit, no suger-coated thoughts with your family and dearest friends even though you are capable of handling yourself. You are independent, ambitious, and people often underestimate you, but you have to let people in first in order for them to know what you’re capable of! Also, idealisation of certain things (eg. a future family life/partner) can be prevalent and you overthink things to the point where sometimes you make yourself miserable. Again, please talk to someone hahaha you don’t have to deal with everything yourself.

5th house

❤️: Insecurity runs rampant in any 5th house stellium BUT y’all are quite paradoxical in a sense that you also have a very strong aura of confidence. Sometimes, in crucial moments, you manage to convince yourself and others that you are the most important person in the room haha - literally the epitome of “fake it till you make it”. Still, a deeply rooted kindness is found in 5th house stelliums such that you’re always looking out for the underdog in the room. If you are developed you probably have a strong sense of righteousness which prompts you to look out for people who might be struggling. Y’all are very concerned about your physical appearance and most of the time you like to keep your body in good shape, which draws the attention of people in the room. You likely have an infectious smile (this is just a hunch but I don’t believe 5th house stelliums smile a lot - y’all quirk your lips or smirk but a true smile is rare so when you do... it melts the hearts of people). Everything that you do will have a youthful flavor and you have a healthy appreciation for downtime/self-care so while you might not (contrary to popular belief) be that fond of kids, kids are attracted to you. Oh and actually I think the stronger this stellium is in a person, the shyer the person seems at first impression but inwardly and as time goes by, they become more humorous and dramatic.

👹: You aren’t exactly manipulative, but you know how to use the power of suggestion (and your charms) to get what you want. If unchecked, it’ll become a habit because to you, it’s an instinctive thing to do and you might not realise you’re hurting other people because of it. You are stubborn and prideful (which isn’t a bad thing sometimes but) you take criticism quite badly such that if a person tries to offer their opinion or goes against your beliefs, you might take it as a personal attack. You have a fear of being restrained/constricted (like 9th house) so you’re actually quite aggressive to those who you perceive to be a threat to your authority. You can also experience extreme mood swings (from crazy happy/hyper to melancholic in a snap) and when you do you expect people to give you attention. But you are hypocritical in this aspect because you yourself can be quite insensitive to other people’s feelings, or you brush them off if you’re not “in the mood”.

6th house

❤️: You are most probably quite an organised person, not in a tidy way (although you could be) but in matters of life there’s an insistence on order and structure. The way you think can be very logical - you are able to think concisely and connect the dots in a quick manner and logic is probably prevalent in everything you do. However, in contrast to this pragmatic behavior, you are deeply caring and you won’t think twice to give up something if a loved one needs it. You are very disciplined in certain aspects of life and you are able to maintain a consistent effort in everything that you do. You’re probably someone who finds joy in small things and although you have high standards, it doesn’t take much to make you happy, as long as it’s genuine. You can be a perfectionist and really quite meticulous in your work which makes you someone who is detail-orientated. You give a lot of yourself to other people and most of the time you don’t expect anything in return, which is one of the great things about 6th house stelliums. You take effort into maintaining your physical health and you mighttt be a fitness freak or someone who keeps track of their diet really carefully. It’s likely that you encourage other people to follow your lifestyle and generally, you exert a sort of mellow influence around other people that makes them want to be better.

👹: There’s a tendency for 6th house stelliums to fall into pessimism, precisely because of your pragmatic nature. Y’all may say that you’re being “realistic” but in actuality it does dampen the spirits of some people. You can also become really unreasonable and inflexible once you’ve made up your mind on something and that makes you a bit narrow minded because you simply refuse to listen to other people’s POV. This can also cause tunnel vision which can really limit your full potential and I think it’s something worth spending your time working on. When pushed into a corner or feeling insecure, y’all might try to cover it up by being condescending or giving the cold shoulder. There’s also a risk of being overly reliant on a schedule/structure and hence, cautiousness when it comes to being spontaneous or embracing something foreign. Because of your affinity towards maintaining health, your hypochondriac tendencies may be exacerbated and you need to try to lessen your over-worrying behaviour haha. Although you never dish out something you can’t receive (eg. high expectations - you’re truly your worst critic), your demanding tone can really make others cautious of you.

OVERALL, I strongly believe that the way to embrace your stelliums isn’t to reject or force yourself to change the values they represent, but rather taking those eccentricities and moulding it into something more precious and beneficial to yourself. It has to be done with a thorough understanding of yourself; with patience.

-C

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #1st house stellium #2nd house stellium #3rd house stellium #4th house stellium #5th house stellium #6th house stellium

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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hi! i just wanted ask how can you not be so pressured to change hange’s gender to your fics (she to they/them) despite that many twitter users are saying that “au authors must use they/them to hange because they are canonically NB” . because to be honest, as an aspiring writer who is working on her first levihan fic, i feel so pressure or maybe obligied to use they/them pronouns for hange.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, I actually was pressured to use ‘they’ tbh. In fact, I was so pressured I actually did a lot of research on this and put a lot of thought into my decision to use ‘she’ as my chosen pronoun for Hange.

But tbh, I think I am pretty confident with the amount of research and the amount of thought I put into it that I don’t think I will be using ‘they’ in my fics anytime soon.

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean at all that I don’t like reading ‘they’ fics nor that I don’t like seeing people use ‘they.’ Tbh I don’t really mind whatever people use? I can enjoy a fic with either pronoun, I can enjoy a good meta with either pronoun. I have my own personal reasons for using they.

Some of the reasons why:

Personal HC

Personal HC but I’m still gonna drop this here.

To make things clear, I headcanon Hange as gender fluid. I headcanon her as sexuality fluid that personally, I’m not too much a fan either of fics that portray Hange as overly feminine either. So I have seen people who request that we do not use overly female or feminine words with Hange. Which yes, I don’t do them. But was a peer pressured into not using them?

No, not really. I just personally think Levi would prefer the word partner if he was with Hange. I personally think that Hange would not have liked to fall into traditional female roles either.

At the same time, I thought about the concept of using ‘they’ as a pronoun with Hange then I couldn’t help but think, it just isn’t in my personal interpretation of Hange to correct people. Hange is too much of a free bird to actually care what people use. Hange would probably respond to he, she, they or whatever and she probably wouldn’t correct anyone calling her mr., mrs. etc.

And in the context of Filo soc med AUs, Hange would probably respond to ate, kuya. (And besides, what is the gender neutral form of ate or kuya??? Mamsir)

And generally the default for most people is to look at someone and think okay, she’s a girl, I think I’ll use ‘she’ first. Or okay, that’s a guy, I think I’ll use ‘he’ first and what usually happens is if anyone is particularly conscious about the pronoun used on them, they will correct the other person.

But there are people out there, who don’t care whether someone uses she, he, they, mr., mrs, ma’am, sir. For example, personally for me, I wouldn’t bother to correct anyone. And I headcanon that Levi and Hange wouldn’t have cared either.

I’m sure people who read my fics would notice, I do put a lot of research when I write because I like to make things as realistic and as in character as possible. So to get into the spirit of my fic and whatever setting I’m writing, I try to capture everything to a T and given the overall landscape and setting I’m writing about and given my own headcanons of Levi and Hange I decided on she.

Because in my headcanon, if someone were to ask Hange what pronoun she preferred? Hange probably would have said any.

Likewise, if anyone asked Hange what her gender was, Hange probably would have said ‘any’ also.

And the setting of the show is practically medieval and gender identity is a relatively new concept. I don’t think many people would have spent too much time pondering ideas like individualism and gender identity when they’re literally facing death everyday. Actually a lot of the great thinking happened after the war, and when there was actually food on the table. Because people weren’t actually hungry everyday anymore so they had time to think about more modern thoughts.

‘She’ is still an NB pronoun

I answered this in another ask already. But the point behind this, is although ‘they’ is the go to non binary pronoun, there are NB people who go by she too. And creating this idea that all gender fluid characters HAVE to go by ‘they’ is dangerous in itself because the reason we had gender discrimination in the first place is because we had these boxes to fit ourselves into. So if a NB person wants to go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ or ‘they’ who are we to stop them?

And I said it many times myself. We will never know which pronoun Hange would have preferred for herself.

I get confused.

This is a shallow reason but I’m gonna drop this here anyway. I get confused when I see ‘they.’ I read a lot of content which uses ‘they’ for Hange and I get confused a lot of the time that I have to read the sentences like three times because I end up thinking ‘Hange and who?’

I know I should have gotten used to it by now, but I still get confused because english is the only language I use on a regular basis that actually has such strict rules for how to navigate gendered pronouns.

I don’t wanna be peer pressured into doing shit just coz.

Tbh, for me, as long as I did my research, as long as I can argue both sides as to why and as long as I am confident in the fact that I have thought about this enough before deciding on this, I will not change it.

I am pretty convinced that a lot of people who actually go all the way as to attack someone on twitter and to cancel them (over a lot of topics tbh) haven’t done their due research.

Because most of the people I know who have done their due research wouldn’t be fighting (on Twitter OF ALL PLACES) in the first place.

Because doing actual research (which means reading articles which support both sides of the argument) will only make people realize that the world is too grey and too complex to ever make pushing their own agenda, ‘cancelling’ someone and calling them transphobic, homophobic, racist etc ect or as they like to call ‘educating’ someone the right thing to do. Believe me, if people genuinely wanted to educate someone, they would slide into their DMs and calmly tell them their own opinion, ask why the other person believes a certiain way and you know, be ready to learn something too because education is a two way street. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, I think any level headed person would probbaly just give up and do something more worth while with their time than cancel some stranger on social media.

Regardless though, I respect either decision and I recognize the fact that a lot of Hange stans are very much more comfortable with the pronoun ‘they’ My general practice when navigating this sensitive topic is to use ‘they’ for Hange when talking to someone who prefers ‘they’ because it’s a conversation and in conversation, the space becomes something shared between me and the other person so I would do my part to make it as comfortable for them as possible.

But here’s the thing, my fic is my space. It’s a house I built for myself and the readers are the visitors that come in and out as they please. No one is forced to read my fic and never have I and never will I tie someone down on a chair and not free them until they read my work.

It’s my fic. It’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.

People tend to forget that in the end this is a fandom space and people should be free to headcanon things however they want. They should be free to explore whatever themes they want. And I like to do my part to promote this type of environment by sticking to a few iron clad rules.

I write what I want to write.

Don’t like, don’t read.

Content is free. There’s a back button and if you do not appreciate the themes someone is exploring or the headcanons someone is applying to their fic, you may click the back button and look for something that doesn’t offend you.

(I’m gonna end up digressing a bit here so feel free not to read the rant below)

There are an infinite number of headcanons and ideas which ideally should be able to exist. Yet because of this constant need to be politically correct and this constant fear that we might be offending someone and we might end up cancelled, a lot of people have been watching their own creative works more than necessary.

I actually fear that there are a lot of good ideas and there are a lot of themes that could have been explored but weren’t.

And this is why I love ao3 a lot. Ao3 is free from societal pressure, corporate synergy and I appreciate the fact that in that space, I’m free to explore whatever themes I want. I can read something pro-rape, I can read something anti-rape. I can read something pro abuse, I can read something anti-abuse etc etc.

I personally have very liberal views and obviously I am not for rape or abuse in ANY situation.

But I am also the type of person who will read things that celebrate a controversial topic and things that will attack that same topic because I just generally want a more nuanced opinion on a lot of things. Because when I have seen both sides of the spectrum, then it’s just easier for me to proudly say ‘Yes, I believe this’ or ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

And I think these pieces should be available for other people to explore so that they can for themselves form more nuanced opinions on whatever topics come their way and the more sides people are aware of that exist, the less likely we’re going to end up with groupthink or hivemind situations which have fucked people over countless times in history already.

Should questionable content be widely available? Personally no but I don’t think it should be completely unavailable.

Regardless these potentially offensive pieces should exist and I’m saying this for both controversial topics such as rape and abuse and something as relatively harmless as Hange being referred to as ‘she’ on a fic. All stories exploring every facet and every side regardless of how controversial should exist in this space because these promote discourse and they promote thinking. These pieces of work that explore taboo and offensive topics and the discourse these create only serve to make our opinions more nuanced so at least we aren’t blinded or we don’t have these half assed opinions only fueled by having read material created by people who are biased to one particular side. At least we have enough fuel for ourselves to say ‘Yes I have read this and now I can more proudly say I believe this more.’

Whatever opinions I have made for myself about social issues are only how they are because I listen to both sides of the argument. I like to play devil’s advocate. I like to listen to people even if I don’t agree with what they’re saying.

And I like finding compromises so that people can co-exist and I like tweaking my opinions everyday based on new information I learn.

And personally, there are so many views I hate and there are types of topics I personally would prefer not to explore but I still believe in the back of my mind they should exist. And if we do whitewash or try to force everyone to adjust their works to whatever side we deem is more ‘politically correct,’ then we will lose facets of the fandom that could have existed, that could have promoted a more colorful discourse and that could have sprouted new ideas and new ways of thinking which may be even more creative if people weren’t so scared to be cancelled or wrong.

It’s different in a conversation. I will adjust the way I speak, the way I navigate interactions with people in a shared space.

But no one is forced to read my works no one is forced to read fanfiction so cancelling someone over how they go about their creative works will always be worse in my book than someone who is exploring problematic themes. (As long as that person tags their trigger material properly and isn’t forcing anyone to read it or forcing their own personal beliefs on anyone or attacking them)

Anyway, sorry for the long ass rant again but I hope you get the courage to use whatever pronouns you want for Hange.

I hope this makes you realize that there really isn’t a black and white to this. And this is a fandom space. Do whatever you want. Headcanon whatever you want. Just be respectful and kind.

#levihan #meta

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eijiroukiriot · 3 years

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can you tell me about harutaka? i honestly am interested now bc i have no idea what it is but it being your second favorite anime ship makes it sound pretty promising :D

OKAY SO

harutaka is a ship from the kagerou project which is a vocaloid-song-series-turned-novel-series-turned-manga-turned-anime and so on and so on. the actual plot is mostly focused on a group of kids who call themselves the mekakushi dan (blindfold gang) who each have a superpower (called an "eye ability") and are stuck in a time loop that repeats every august 15th, but the main appeal of the series is the tangled web of relationships between the characters, and the songs (and chapters, etc) that focus on their relationships and histories and how those brought them to where they are today

harutaka is the ship between kokonose haruka and enomoto takane! their meeting is mostly explained in the song yuukei yesterday - basically, takane is a high school student with narcolepsy and a bad attitude who's always found it hard to make friends, since people tend to avoid her. to accommodate her during classes, her school puts her in a handicap class with just one other student - haruka, whose chronic illness has always made it hard for him to live a normal life, but who wants nothing more than to make friends, starting with takane. they're sort of opposites in that way. takane finds haruka's cheerful demeanor and relentless interest in her annoying - ideally, she'd like nothing to do with him.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER they both fall for each other basically as soon as they meet. the cherry on the cake is that they're dumb little teenagers who have never BEEN in love before (not to mention all the clashing feelings about having someone care about you unconditionally for the first time) so they deal with it in about the blushiest, dorkiest, most teenage way possible - haruka points his dumb cute face at haruka and she turns red and yells at him and he laughs all shy. it's a very tsundere/sweetboy romance at its core but i think the extra layers of getting to be very happy and feel normal and welcome for once in your life make this one on the surface alone

HOWEVER...you might notice that these characters don't appear to be in the lineup of the rest of the dan in the image above...except they are! just not quite as themselves. this is a bit that fits into the larger story of kagepro so it's going to sound a little strange on its own, but basically, their teacher was a part of this experiment studying the origin of the time loop they're stuck in - dealing with the supernatural powers that you gain once you're stuck in it. they don't know that he's been treating them as subjects this whole time, but going back a little into the high school romance side of things...right as the two of them are reaching the peak of their pining phase, one afternoon in class, haruka has a stroke - but to takane, it just looks like he's sleeping, and ignoring her, so she gets mad and goes home. later that day, when she finds out what happened, she realizes that this might be her last chance to tell haruka how she felt, and sprints to the hospital...except she never makes it there. when she collapses on the way, the proctors of the experiment find her, and separate her body from her consciousness, turning her into a (not quite artificial) a.i. that gets uploaded into the protagonist's computer. meanwhile, at the hospital, haruka is being offered everything he's ever wanted - a brand new body, with no weakness or illness...and no memories or emotions, either. he protests against it crying that he just wants to see takane, but it's not up to him in the end.

in their new forms, the two go by ene (enomoto takane) and konoha (kokonose haruka) - a cyber girl and robot boy. this is how they're stuck for the bulk of the story - everything that happens before this is a backstory that you only find out once you've seen both of them in action in their new lives!! and in their new lives, ene can't STAND konoha. takane really devotes herself to the role of ene, so even the people who she knew in her "past" life don't realize it's her...but it's the fact that konoha has no idea who she is that really hurts. imagine that every day you're tortured by the fact that you never got to tell the person you loved how you felt and now you're in this weird scary situation and you have no idea what's going to happen or if you'll ever get to be yourself again, and then he appears, but he doesn't look like he did or act like he did and even though you're painfully aware that it's him, he doesn't know it's you or even remember you or anything you did together...and you can't even let people know what you're feeling because you're stuck in this new identity!! through being in the dan together ene is forced to spend a lot of time with konoha but she refuses to address him by name (calling him "mr. imposter" instead which just sounds like an amongis joke now but is very emotional within the context of canon)

i really could go on and on and on about the very real angsty teenage emotions that go into this ship and the themes of love and loss but i've already gone on long enough - it's a combination of the actual dynamic and the goofy will-they-or-won't-they and the hardcore emotional story that has kept me on this train for all these years. i started shipping these two in MIDDLE SCHOOL!! and even now the fact that once the time loop is broken and august ends they get to have their happy ending and be together makes me think that wow. love is real and worth fighting for.

mekakucity actors is a bad anime and i definitely don't recommend it if you're trying to consume an easy-to-understand version of the kagerou project, but i will leave you with the anime version of yuukei yesterday because it's basically the only canon content we get of harutaka (and friends...i would explain shinaya but that's a whole nother post). thank you for letting me ramble! :)

youtube

#asks #long post #HWEW.........#i don't even know if i explained it well or the way i wanted to but aaaaaaa AAAAAAAA #i've been thinking abt them so much lately...genuinely they were the most i had ever gotten into a ship before krbk #they really do deserve each other so much and i think that's what gets me #there /are/ non-canon kagepro ships that i like (mostly. because the canon pairings for the characters #suck balls and ass)#(if you have to say it's technically not incest that's not great)#(that's only made canon in one version of the story so it's easy to avoid but still ew ew ew)#but anyway the thing that makes kagepro's ships great is that they really do matter so much to each other #like on a personal level their stories are so intertwined #kinda like how noelle stevenson fought for catradora - they couldn't not be canon bc no other ending would make sense #not exactly an equal example bc despite kgpr's huge queer fandom none of the characters are confirmed lgbt #even a little #except for kido 'you dan leader looks gnc af' tsubomi except even that's handled in a very cisnormative way in the end #but anyway. kgpr ships are good. shinaya good. setomary good. harutaka REALLY good #I DIDN'T MISS THE FACT THAT A FEW OF YOU SENT THIS BTW i am so super grateful for that #i just chose this ask arbitrarily. i appreciate you guys so mcuh

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

About crosshair. Again lol

Regardless of his scar not lining up with chip scar or the headaches or “soldiers follow orders” again. Or him without a chip being a liability to the empire. I just don’t buy his personality change in the end. I’m the pilot episode they hammered it over our heads it’s very unlike him to follow orders. He said himself “empire or republic, what’s the difference?” But now in the end he cares about the empire protecting the galaxy? Responds to hunter his choice is “soldiers follow orders”? Wtf, really? So he genuinely believes his only personality is being a soldier now? when it’s been established in both in cw and tbb that cf99, including crosshair only cared about completing the mission. I get that people change but not that abruptly especially if we are to believe techs “unyielding” description of him to be true. Echo is the one true soldier of the group. He keeps repeating to hunter “we are soldiers not smugglers”, “there is no other way than being soldiers” etc. but he is clearly loyal to the republic. And I never saw echo and crosshair to be similar in that

So yeah , I think it’s very out of character for crosshair to just see himself as soldier and being content with following order or being a pawn(which he must realize he is cause he’s not dumb) especially with his mega inflated sense of self importance. Just my two cents

Crosshair is a complicated character! There's a lot to discuss :D

That's a good point though. And yeah, as acknowledged the quick personality change could be chalked up to chip influence if it's still having some kind of impact... but if it's not, then what do we make of that?

Putting aside the "It's just bad writing" possibility, I think there's a key difference between not following orders and not being loyal to the organization giving those orders. They're not necessarily the same thing, though it's easy to lump the two together. Yeah, we see early on that the Bad Batch isn't known for doing things the "right" way. Rex and Jesse are pretty unsure about their methods when the Batch first shows up in TCW. In the pilot Tech has a line about how "We're more deviant than defective" emphasizing that they tend to do things differently. Crosshair's sudden willingness to follow orders to the letter, not just in spirit, is questioned during their time in the cell, etc. So yeah, they don't obey the rules, but I don't think that's because they're not loyal. They're not refusing orders because pff, screw the Republic/Empire, who cares about those guys. They're refusing orders because they recognize that their way of doing things—the unconventional methods that deviate from the standard clone playbook—is more likely to net them, and the Republic, a success. They seem to be against the Republic's rules because they want the Republic to succeed, recognizing that their way is the best way to get that. Wrecker takes great pride in their successful missions, keeping tally marks on their room's wall. Crosshair is constantly pointing out how the higher ups called them in because the Regs couldn't complete a mission, likewise emphasizing his pride in being needed. When Rex and Hunter finally start bonding, it's through Rex's decision to charge the droids head on, precisely like the Batch would, rather than following the "correct" strategy of carefully picking them off from the tree line. They bond over the understanding of, "Yes. This is the best way the Republic wins." Perhaps most significantly, the Batch was still willing to complete missions for the Empire up until they were ordered to kill civilians. Killing Jedi resulted in an acknowledgement of how messed up that was... but no solid intent to leave.

All of the above is important because it establishes the Batch's need to be loyal to something other than themselves. The kind of loyalty that is shown through intense, life-threatening acts of service. Hunter's line about them being loyal to each other rather than some Empire, while true, is a simplification. Their loyalty to the Republic and their loyalty to one another overlap in many, many significant ways, simply because the Batch was created for the Republic. They have literally spent their entire lives living, breathing, fighting, and almost dying for the Republic. Their core identities stem from the Republic's desires: skills they want them to cultivate and even personalities they want to foster, if Tech's theories are to be believed (that conversation with Wrecker in the mess hall). The loyalty the Batch feels, those bonds they formed over the years, stem entirely from completing missions for the Republic. Their love for one another is, at least at the start, a product of the Republic's desire for Good Soldiers. And yeah, they sometimes did things the Republic technically didn't like, but it was always in service of achieving the Republic's end goal, whatever that may have been. They were very good soldiers, just soldiers that understood the value of creative thinking. "You want me to reach this location? Of course! I'll reach it by cutting across the grass, despite you asking me to follow the path already laid out. But our goal and the Regs' goal is exactly the same: fulfill your mission. That's our purpose in this life."

And then the Republic became the Empire.

Every one of these characters has a need to serve some higher purpose, to complete missions for the benefit of another. Overlooking the very literal ways in which they may have been genetically predisposed towards this (like the chip), and the cultural brainwashing that went on the second they were born (this is your duty, this is your purpose, this is all you exist for), this is, simply put, all they've ever known. Though it's possible to walk away from that need, it's by no means easy. So what saves the majority of the Batch from falling into that "Republic, Empire, what's the difference?" thinking out of a need to serve someone?

Omega.

I think it's crucial that the second they abandon one mission—killing civilians for the Empire—there's already new mission waiting for them to focus on instead—rescue and protect Omega, indefinitely. That's Hunter's thinking. We're not going to do A, we're going do B instead. All they did was put that single-minded focus onto a new target, but the focus—the need—still exists. And we see that throughout the first season, where everything the Batch does is in service to Omega. Their life decisions revolve entirely around her, from very small things (here's your own room on the ship) to the much larger (we need to stay on the move to help you avoid bounty hunters, even if we may want to find someplace to stay). The purpose of a soldier has been mapped onto the purpose of a parent, with the new, ongoing goal being "Raise Child" as opposed to "Win War." Putting aside for the moment the fact that this is an action-adventure show and thus exciting plot has to happen, I think it's notable that no one suggests non-soldier-y things to help them make money. Tech isn't offering his intellect as an easy way to make credits, nor Wrecker his strength. No one is seriously thinking of a planet they could hide out on, even from bounty hunters, so as to raise Omega in peace. They are still, fundamentally, the people they were during the time of the Republic, people who need to fight for something. Literally fight. It's just now they're chaotically fulfilling missions for Cid so they can give Omega a halfway decent life, rather than chaotically fulfilling missions for a general so they can give the Republic a chance at winning the war.

Omega is the new focus, the new Republic stand-in, but what happens if she's not an option? (Would have been really interesting to see what the Batch did if she'd actually left with Cut.) Without the chip affecting his thoughts, I fully believe Crosshair would have left with the others. Why wouldn't he? That's his family and, per Hunter's orders, Omega is the new mission. But the chip ensured he missed that chance and by the time he came out of it (if he came out of it), it was too late. His squad was gone, they never came back, and Crosshair needs to find a new place in this galaxy, just like they did. Except his options are far more limited and suck a whole lot more. I can't recall anything that implies Crosshair thinks the Empire will save the galaxy, but he does think it's going to control it and he's looking for his own purpose in this new life. Why not find purpose in the winning side? He can serve the Empire just like they served the Republic. He can serve the Empire just like his squad now serves Omega. The need to belong somewhere, to have that larger goal, outweighs those pesky ethical issues, at least for now. Though to me the "Good soldiers follow orders" really, really still sounds like chip influence, it can also be read as a broader acknowledgment that yes, they are fundamentally soldiers and yes, they do need orders of one kind or another. They need that mission. That goal. That purpose. Someone who helps to guide them in this new, crazy galaxy. Yeah, they've always bent and gotten creative with the orders, but until 4/5ths of them left the Empire, they'd never ignored the orders as a whole. None of the Bad Batch went, "I'm not taking this mission because the Admiral was an asshole to us about it and I don't feel like it :/" They suck up all the hard parts—the awful treatment, the danger, the general difficulty—because they have a goal to fulfill. They live for having a goal, literally in the sense that this is what they were made for. The Bad Batch is still doing that with Cid, putting up with bad treatment, dangerous situations, and general difficulty because they have that larger goal of taking care of Omega. Crosshair missed out on that, so he latched onto the Empire instead. Which circles right back around to previous points that if the Batch had tried to rescue him and/or been more welcoming when offering his return, Crosshair likely would have joined in on the Omega mission too. It's the best new purpose for all of them.

Crosshair sees himself as a soldier because, right now, being a soldier of the Empire is the only way he can find the purpose and belonging that the rest of the Batch maintained with each other and Omega, back when he was left behind. No, he's not dumb, but the logistics of the situation outweigh his knowledge that things are far from perfect. Do we think the Batch doesn't also realize that Cid is continually taking advantage of them with 70/30 splits? Of course not. But they need a way to survive and, right now, this is it. Crosshair likewise recognizes that the Empire is treating him as a pawn—I think he was in denial prior to the bombing, but now he definitely knows—but what other option is there? Not his squad. As discussed, he feels strongly that he's no longer welcome with them, with good reason. The only other option is to go off on his own, something that's incredibly foreign to clones who were bred to serve that higher purpose alongside many, many brothers. Yes, we've seen one or two who manage that—like Cut—but they're the outliers. Rex found his new purpose fighting the Empire with Ahsoka. The Batch found their new purpose taking care of Omega with each other. Crosshair's new purpose is... nothing. Not unless he swallows down his misgivings (and his ego) and keeps serving the Empire until a better purpose comes along.

#TBB #the bad batch #SW #Star Wars #mymetas

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sealpointselkie · 3 years

Text

My OCs: Edit (Eddy) & Hope

I’ve had these OCs for a while now but I finally got up the courage to commission art for them (I find Hope especially hard to colour I’ve “ruined” several good (by the standards I’ve set for my own art) drawings trying to figure it out. 😫

Thank you so much to @popato-chisps for the excellent art and your patience for the details! Hope is out front with the mallet and Edit is in the back, probably begging her to stop! Find the rest of their story under the cut:

I’ve been a bit embarrassed by my OCs; I love them, but I worry that others will think they’re uninteresting or uninspired. My idea for the genesis of these characters was inspired by Underverse where, through the actions of ‘outcodes’ or ‘demigods’ timelines and whole AUs were destroyed. I also watched a bunch of alchemical symbolism vids and thought about the collective unconscious of these timelines and how traumatized and angry they’d be that these outside entities used their AU as a battlefield ending in their destruction. I would imagine after a battle like that the power of the outcodes would permeate the space that used to contain the AU, and what if the fragmented unconscious of the sentient beings of that AU coalesced with that power to birth new life? New life that could travel the multiverse and protect other AUs from their fate? And what about the power of the outcodes that helped birth them? What opposing forces would these new being have to fight within themselves? (This was also inspired by Paper Crane’s birth) This idea also let me make “ship kids” without their “parents” having to be in a sexual relationship, which, I admit, appeals to me. I see these “fusion kids” as being in conflict with the Star Sanses and the Nightmare Crew (along with any other deities/out codes) but guilty of manipulating timelines and AUs to suit themselves in the absence of such figures.

Edit came first: I liked the Cross x Ink ship (Crink) and I thought about what a merging of their powers would be like. I decided on the idea of “Cross-out” or editing, which (in my mind) kind of balanced the forces of creation and destruction between Ink and Cross. Edit, or Eddy, is similar to Ink in that he can’t produce emotions on his own, but unlike Ink gathering his ink from the Doodlesphere, Eddy gathers ink by being in close proximity to events with highly charged emotional energy. He has three kinds of ink: white creates emotion, black drains emotion and red heightens it. So if Eddy is feeling an emotion like rage or joy he can use his red ink to increase the intensity of that feeling, which also boosts his fighting power. However, there is a catch, Eddy is very susceptible to rage and can loose control of himself easily when indulging in that emotion. So, in a way, he’s inherited Cross’s anger issues.

When Eddy was “young” he was guilty of creating the events that allowed him to gather ink: his “drained” state, like Ink when he runs out of ink and emotions, interfered with any empathy he would have had for the people of the AU he was currently living in. The fragmented unconscious within him “told” him that he should feel, that he wasn’t whole, so he chased ink like an addict. It’s why he’s attached himself to Hope, since being around her passively generates ink for him. Since joining up with her he’s been able to have a steady supply of ink, and therefore emotion, which allows him to empathize with other people and makes him hesitate to create the same mayhem he did before when he was more often “drained”. He tries to mitigate Hope’s crazier and extreme plans to hurt or damage as few people as is necessary.

Now he enjoys helping creators and encouraging them to edit, prune or streamline their creations – there is such a thing as over designing! But he truly believes in their own vision and won’t force a creator to follow his suggestions

His magic takes form or white circles and red X’s, symbolizing ‘correct’ or ‘incorrect’ his red X’s can nullify attacks while his circles can enhance the power of his own or other’s attacks. I see him as a support character, standing in the back and buffing his allies while debuffing his enemies. In a pinch he can use his pen as a weapon. He also has access to a Sans skeleton’s typical attacks of bones and Gaster Blasters, shooting red energy.

And then there is Hope; Hope is a fusion of Dream and Error which fashioned her into an avatar of her namesake. Hope can create and destroy, lift you up and cast you down, and Hope lives in between these two extremes. Meeting in the middle is never an option. Hope, like most skeletons, considers herself physically gender neutral but the identity she constructed for herself revolves on being a “Magical Girl”, defender of hopes and dreams!, and therefore uses she/her pronouns.

Hope sees herself as a traveling Magical Girl who spreads hope where ever she travels and gives the people she touches the opportunity to achieve their dreams! In reality what happens is that Hope chooses someone with ambition, or an aspiration, and manipulates events to give that person to prove the “strength” of their dream and propel them forward. No matter the cost. This most often creates an extreme or dangerous event with permanent consequences moving onwards. If they “succeed” (in her mind) then she has created a world where their dreams coming true is more likely than before! If they “fail”, well, they just didn’t want it enough and she’ll abandon them immediately. It’s rare for her to give someone a “second chance”, or continue meddling in the life of someone who passes her “test”. She usually introduces herself as a traveling performer and Eddy as her bodyguard, she often performs on the street singing top 100 pop songs where the lighting effects and sound quality is oddly good for someone with her equipment… But hey, she’s a monster so “magic”.

When it comes to her magical equipment it comes from her necklace mimicking Dream’s bauble, which transforms into multiple forms:

1. Her mallet, her go to weapon: she has ridiculous strength, like a cartoon character

2. Her microphone with stand: part of her persona is an idol/pop star. She knows the top 100 by heart and is an excellent dancer, it also creates a spotlight on her, no matter the circumstances of lighting or atmosphere.

3. Her Wand: Portable microphone, can use it to enchant others.

Hope’s glitches tend to be diamond shaped and some can be soft, it gives her the appearance of shojo sparkles rather than Error’s computer-like graphic errors.

She has a limited ability to “enchant” or control others which she uses to create her scenarios: a villain to vanquish for someone who wants to be a hero, make a talent scout more likely to pay attention to a certain young dancer, etc.

Hope thinks Eddy’s become a stick-in-the-mud since he’s had enough ink, however, and she’d never admit this, she feels rather lonely wandering from AU to AU and Eddy is the closest thing to a real friend she’s ever had. He’s also someone she’d like to have watching her back when the time comes to teach those out-codes a painful lesson. She’s definitely a character that prefers to be on the front lines and the center of attention in a fight.

Her theme and Inspiration is: Oh No! by Marina and The Diamonds

(Sorry the editing is funky, I copied and pasted from email and the mobile app won’t let me correct any more than this.)

Ink by @/comyet

Error by @/loverofpiggies

Cross and Underverse by @/jakei95

Dream by @/jokublog

Paper Crane by @/little-noko

Art by @popato-chisps, commissioned by me, @sealpointselkie

Edit Sans and Hope by @sealpointselkie

#my ocs #my ocs art #commisssoned art #edit sans #hope #crink child #cross x ink fusion #error x dream fusion #insomnia child #cross-out sans

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radramblog · 3 years

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What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2.

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

#ramble #honestly more of an essay #homestuck #homestuck 2 #dirk strider #ultimate dirk #just ignore me accidentally posting this to the wrong account and having to reup it

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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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Research Shows Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic (part 2)

Anti-Zutara arguments: Zuko and Katara hold such a deep and meaningful platonic bond that should it ever turn into a romantic one, their relationship would be automatically ruined.

Me, with my 3.8k meta that cites a research paper on relationships: Are you sure about that.

And with that (not) academically appropriate introduction, I present part 2 of my meta “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic,” where I use research on emotional intimacy to demonstrate that Zutara is more than capable of transitioning into a romance. Still, that claim in itself presents a rather complicated question: What is the transition between friendship to romance, and how is it achieved?

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” is a research paper by Arizona State University professors Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau that sets out to answer this. In their paper, Guerrero and Mongeau explore a multitude of aspects regarding relationship development, but part 1 and part 2 of this meta will focus on their research on stages of intimacy.

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Excerpt from “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic” (part 1)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect both platonic and romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

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Part 1 of this meta (click for the link) proves how Zuko and Katara achieve the “initial stages of intimacy,” including perceived similarities, pair rapport, and self-disclosure, which are common to both platonic and romantic relationships (and seen often in transitioning relationships). And because I have no self-control, I promised a part 2 that shows how Zutara fulfills the latter stages of intimacy as well, in which intimacy is based more on cognition than communication.

(Note: I had taken the burden of proof too seriously in part 1, and thus that meta delves (far too) deep into the intricacies of Zuko and Katara’s backstories, character arcs, and dialogue. This meta will be significantly less heavy-handed on the analysis because we already have 3,800 words of that and that’s more than enough).

So with that taken care of, let’s begin.

Role-taking

Definition: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship.

After Zuko’s choice in the Crossroads of Destiny, his relationship with Katara becomes tenser until it reaches a breaking point in The Southern Raiders, where the following exchange occurs:

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The Southern Raiders Dialogue

Zuko: This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?

Katara: Oh, everyone trusts you now! I was the first person to trust you! Remember, back in Ba Sing Se. And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us!

_____

Although Katara is angry in this scene, her open communication and Zuko’s empathy with her (established in the Crystal Catacombs) allows him to understand Katara’s perspective, to understand that he is the one at fault, and to understand that he has to be the one to make amends.

Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you?

Then, throughout the Southern Raiders, there is an inherent understanding between the two that Zuko is only a guide to track down her mother’s killer while Katara is the decider of this man’s fate. Their roles are evidenced by Zuko providing Katara with information (as seen in the left screenshot) and Katara acting with the information given (as seen in the right screenshot, where Zuko asks Katara if she is ready).

Left screenshot -

Zuko: I know who killed your mother, and I'm going to help you find him.

Right screenshot -

Zuko: This is it, Katara. Are you ready to face him?

However, Zuko is not the only one to perceive and accept the other party’s role within their relationship. Having decided to fight Azula alongside Zuko the day before Sozin’s Comet, Katara is in disbelief when Zuko accepts an Agni Kai with Azula, one on one.

Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us.

Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time.

Katara: But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.

Zuko: There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt.

Still, Katara nods, empathizing with Zuko’s position and thus allowing him to take on a new role. In particular, she recognizes Zuko’s need to fight alone rather than together, which shifts the dynamic and interactions in their relationship.

With both Zuko and Katara achieving role-taking, we now move on to-

Role-fit

Definition: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles.

(Note: there’s a little bit of a stretch in needs and roles, but given much of Zuko and Katara’s life had been centered around defeating the Fire Nation, it still captures an essential part of their relationship.)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their personality:

(Frankly, this moment can apply to personality, needs, and roles)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their needs:

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their roles:

I wish there had been more canon material with Zuko and Katara evaluating their personalities and needs on a more personal level. However, since the glimpses of peace we see in the ATLA finale are not focused on Zuko and Katara’s relationship (for better or for worse), the fact that the Crystal Catacombs exchange exists is already very telling. Additionally, it’s not difficult to imagine the two of them had a conversation about their personalities and needs given their track record of open communication and mutual support.

Dyadic Crystallization

Definition: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple.

After joining the GAang in the Western Air Temple, Zuko and Katara become “increasingly involved with each other” (even if their interactions are not always positive), as evidenced by the following:

Of course, their commitment to each other forms after Katara forgives Zuko and they work together as a team:

Though Zuko and Katara may not have formed an identity as a romantic couple, their platonic relationship relies on a profound foundation of teamwork, protectiveness, and support. Should they transition into a romantic relationship, this same foundation can be channeled with them working together to solve personal and political problems, protecting each other from physical and emotional wounds, and supporting one another with steadfast faith and determination.

Of course, the same logic applies to every stage of intimacy both parts of this meta explore. We already see how Zuko and Katara fulfill the other stages - perceived similarities, pair rapport, self-disclosure, role-taking, role-fit, and dyadic crystallization - in constructive ways throughout their platonic bond, so we can assume that their approach to these stages of intimacy would be similar in a romantic bond as well. After all, they already share a deep emotional connection, so the last gap their relationship would need to bridge between platonic and romantic lines would not be one of closeness (which anti-Zutara arguments point to as a cause for increasing toxicity between the two), but one of attraction.

As Guerrero and Mongeau note, “in this case, couples sustain high levels of friendship-based intimacy while adding passion-based intimacy. In a sense, these couples have already laid part of the groundwork for building a close romantic relationship.”

Thus, without needing to undergo a dramatic shift in quantity or quality, the existing emotional energy in Zutara lends itself well to both friendships and romances. Here we have a relationship where outward circumstances may change - from war to peace, from rebels to leaders - yet their internal framework, even while (hypothetically) in the process of adjusting from friends to lovers, has endured through the past and will continue to endure well into the future.

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #my bated breath's posts #I'm showing my support for Zutara by citing research papers #this is my contribution #stages of relationship intimacies

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