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xsaltburnx · 3 months

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Don't leave me

Comforting Farleigh after Felix's death

Farleigh Start x female reader

a/n: I really wanted to write this because I feel like Farleigh needed someone to comfort him and tell him everything's going to be alright after he got yelled at and he definitely deserved better, poor baby, (also that's what I think the scene is about, if I got it wrong, sorry)

warning: Felix dying, swearing, everybody treating Farleigh like shit, drugs, Farleigh crying a lot

word count: 3,299

You have known Farleigh for as long as you can remember. He's always been there for you. Your rock, your shoulder to cry on, someone who knew all of your secrets and all your problems, always ready to help you. Even if it was 4 pm or 4 am, you called and he was there.

And you were always there for him. Even though most of the times you two were on different continents and hours and miles away from each other, you never let something like that ruin what you two had. Then things started getting a lot easier because Farleigh came to live in England and since then you were inseperable. Yes, you did spend quite some time at Saltburn even when Farleigh wasn't here because you were really good friends with Felix and then later met Venetia, who you've clicked with just like that. Yes, sometimes they had their own opinion on Farleigh and sometimes you hated the way they talked about him but he somehow learned how to shake that off and not take it too seriously, so you did exactly that even though deep down it hurt to listen.

When you joined Oxford university, you and Farleigh became even closer and you eventually fell in love with him. You kept it a secret for quite some time because you were afraid to talk about your feelings because you didn't want to lose him. He was your home and you weren't planning on losing that, but luckily he felt the same and that was it. He was everything you always wanted and you swore you would never let him go or do anything that would harm him or let him battle his problems alone. No fucking way.

Everything was going great. You finished another year at Oxford, celebration obviously planned there and then later at Saltburn. Summer was about to begin and you had a feeling this summer was going to be one to remember. And oh boy it was.. but for very different reasons.

"Hey baby." Farleigh walked into your dorm, closing the door behind him, his arms immedistely wrapping around your body, hugging you from behind. "Did you finish packing?" He aks gently as he looked around the room, your clothes still splatered across the floor and your bed, messier than the first night you came here.

"Shut up." You playfully hit his arm as you heard him chuckle in your ear, his lips connecting with the top of your head in a gentle kiss. "I still have so much to do, I'll never make it in time."

"Yes you will, I'll wait for you, you know I'm not leaving." He spun you around, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly, one of those as you called them grizly bear hugs.

"Then help me pack?" You batted your eyelashes at him and made a pouty face, hoping it would work.

"Oh no, that's not fair, don't do that, you know I can't resis that face" He said and kissed your lips swiftly, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Of course I'll help."

"Is anybody else coming with us?" You asked while folding your t-shirts, placing them neatly inside your suitcase.

"Oliver fucking Quick." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly turned around to look at him, unsure if you heard that correctly. You obviously didn't like him, I mean Fekix though he was a very inspiring person but you and Farleigh? You didn't get the hype and always held him on his toes.

"Yeah, Felix invited him. I don't know why, something about him not wanting to go home because of his parents."

"Do Elspeth and James know that?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Yes, apparently Elspeth is extremely excited to meet him. That'll be interesting." Farleigh closed one of your bags and placed it on his shoulder. "Damn, what do you have in here, rocks?"

"Very funny, no, all the vibrators you gave me." You said, laughing, seriousness washed over his face.

"Oh really?" He dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed your waist, hoisting your body up on his shoulder, his large hand smacking you on the ass. Your laugh echoed throughout the room, probably audible outside too, but that's how Farleigh always wanted you to be. Such beautiful laughter, it was like music to his ears, like daisies adorning a beautiful meadow. He gently put you down on the bed and laid on top of you, his thumb caressing your soft cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, a special kind of sparkle in his eyes, a smile plastered on his face.

"I love you too, Farleigh." His hot breath washed over your face, his lips slightly brushed yours before he kissed you gently, a moment of bliss before the big storm.

~ ° * ° ~

Summer at Saltburn? Always crazy and busy, but the busy part? Partying and laying out on the freshly cut grass or swimming in the pool. That was all you did there every summer. Not a bad life, you always thought to yourself, but sometimes it was nice to go back to reality and to a real life.You'd be lying if you said you didn't get used to this kind of life, the glamour, the dinner parties, dressing up,it was quite fun to a certain point. When it was too much, you and Farleigh packed your bags and left for a week or two, all alone, away from all of it. But to someone, this life was inviting them in more and more as each day passed.

And then the Cattons decided to throw Oliver a birthday party. 200 people? 300? You lost count. I mean if it's a party then it's a great idea, but for the entire night Farleigh had a very strange feeling about everything that night. He watched Oliver just skulk around almost every room in the house, people not paying too much attention to him. Most of them only knew him as "the birthday boy" but only a few of them knew his actual name. There was something strange about him, Farleigh always kept an eye on him.

...and he was right...

Around 11 am you felt someone shaking your body, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw Farleigh standing in front of you and you immediately knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking, his mannerisms completely different than how he usually is.

"What is it?" You asked and instantly sat up on the bed, fear in your eyes and in your voice, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, a sudden wave of ringing filling up your ears.

"Felix is missing." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly got up and didn't even bother to put on shoes. You ran outisde and saw Venetia in the water, walking around, waving her hands underwater. You ran towards her with Farleigh, both of you joining her, hoping he's not in here and that he's fine. Then you heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the maze. You looked at Farleigh and instantly felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head and walked as quickly as possible to the edge, climbed and got up, the three of you running towards the maze.

You knew the maze like the back of your hand so it was easy to get to the center, but at that moment you wish that you could just get lost in there because what you all saw was something you would never be able to forget as it was buried inside you mind very deeply.

Felix was laying there on his stomach, golden wings still attached to his back. His body a pale colour, almost a hint of blue, his beautiful eyes now without that incredible spark that you got so used to seeing. His lifeless body was something you never thought you would have to see in your life nor did you want to but for some reason you couldn't look away.

Venetia, you and Farleigh fell to your knees, grasping onto one another, looking for comfort as tears just started coming out, the pain in your chest unlike anything you've ever experienced before. It was as if someone ripped out your heart, a huge hole right in the middle of your chest. Your ears started ringing and you felt like you were going to pass out. You suddenly felt like you weren't on this planet anymore, completely disoriented and if Farleigh and Venetia weren't grasping onto your body, you don't know how you would have dealt with this alone. You let out a loud scream, your chest convulsing from all the sobs that kept coming out of your body.

You don't know how or when you got up, left the maze and changed your clothes or when on earth did everybody gather for lunch, but there you were, sitting at the table with James, Elspeth, Venetia, Farleigh, oh and yes, of course, Oliver.

The curtains shut as the room plunged into darkness, making it look red like blood, not a hint of daylight. It somehow looked terrifying and gruesome, very unpleasant. You were sitting next to Farleigh, his face kind of emotionless as he kept staring at the table, not moving his gaze from the same spot. You reached out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, making him snap out of his thoughts, a sob suddenly falling from his lips. On your left was an empty chair and an empty plate. Felix's spot and when you first walked in and saw it, you broke down again.

Suddenly there was a hint of a squeaking gurney on the outside, meaning they were passing the window with Felix's body and then there was a sound of doors closing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes, your hand suddenly slipping away from Farleigh's.

"Oh my God... May I be excused, please?" Farleigh whimpered and got up from the table, his cheeks stained with tears.

"No. We haven't finished lunch." James replied, not even looking at Farleigh.

"Lunch is cold. You want me just eat it like nothing is happening?"

"What else is there to do, darling?" Elspeth looked at him, sadness noticable in her eyes.

"Anything! Anything-" You looked at him as he screamed out, a whimper escaping your lips as tears started falling from your eyes again. The pain was unbearable and seeing Farleigh like that broke your heart and how everybody acted like nothing ever happened, like Farleigh was the only one who actually cared and the only one who saw how messed up it was that everybody was acting like this. James slammed his fists on the table, the plates clattering. You jumped, your body shook from fear, the sudden change in tone almost too much.

"Farleigh! Will you be quiet?! Sit down and eat the bloody pie! Just eat it! Eat it and shut up! Eat the bloody pie!"

Farleigh sat down and grabbed his fork, placing the pie in his mouth but unable to chew through the meat. Small pieces flew out of his mouth and onto the plate, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You're not the only person here with feelings. None of us wants your bloody American feelings!" James trailed off and suddenly there was silence inside the room. You didn't even try to put anything in your mouth because you felt like you were going to throw up.

"I think it’s delicious." Oliver suddenly said, Farleigh snapping at him.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" you look at Oliver and his expression and there was nothing on his face. Like he didn't care. You wiped away your tears and placed your hands in your lap.

"Wait, does no one else find it weird?.. No one else finds that weird?"

"Farleigh.." you whispered and placed your hand on top of his, your fingers grazing his in a comforting way.

"I wouldn’t throw stones if I was you, Farleigh." Oliver replied in a strict tone, a fork in his hand.

"Excuse me?"

"Please stop." Venetia sighed and said quietly.

"What is he saying?" James asked and looked at Oliver.

"I..I've no idea." Farleigh said, clearly confused what Oliver wanted to get with all of this.

"What I'm saying is that I'd feel guilty too."

"Guilty?"

"If I was the one racking up lines the night someone died."

"Fuck you." Farleigh stared back at him, cursing, only hate for Oliver in his body at that very moment.

"That's not a denial." Oliver replied as he leaned forward a little bit, his gaze moving between you and Farleigh.

"You took it too far, Oliver." You interrupted them, defending Farleigh.

"Is that true?" James asked, pale with fury. He looked towards Duncan signaling him to leave. "Search Farleigh's room."

"No." Farleigh crumpled into his chair and started sobbing. Now you were a little bit scared. Your eyes widened, not surely understanding what they were going to do about this situation. Seeing and hearing what was happening was making the situation even harder. You couldn't take your eyes off Farleigh and when you saw tears continuously welling up in his eyes, you couldn't help but start sobbing as well. Your heart was breaking.

"Get out." Sir James said angrily.

"Please, he didn't do anything.." You looked at Sir James, begging, trying to make him see that it really wasn't his fault and that he had nothing to do with all of this. Of course he didn't believe you, he didn't even acknowledge you.

"No, wait-" Farleigh whimpered and wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.

"What's happening?" Elspeth asked after wiping her mouth eith a linen cloth.

"Aunt Elspeth- Elspeth-" he said desperately but got interrupted by James.

"Don’t you dare look at her!"

Elspeth looked liked she was now ignoring Falreigh, not wanting to look at him at all. Could she ever look at him again after this? Who knows.

"Get out!"

Farleigh looked around the table, searching for somebody to look at him, to see they were making a mistake but no one looked at him except for you. Not even Oliver. He got up your hand slipped off, hanging next to your body. Your lip trembled at the sudden empty feeling, your head hung low as you kept staring at your fingers. Farleigh grabbed onto the chair, picking at the stitching.

"I won't mention this to the police. That's all you get. Nothing more. Ever again." James trailed off and that was the last thing you heard from him that night. Farleigh turned to the side and left the room, leaving you alone with the Cattons and Oliver. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

"You didn't have to do this. It wasn't his fault." You snapped back at Oliver, his eyes quickly looking back at you. A hidden smirk adorned his face, a sinnister look in his eyes.

"You know he did it. He was racking up lines the whole night. Felix could've taken whatever Farleigh was using." Oliver replied, his plate now half empty. "Even when you two were fucking outside. It was like a freak show."

"Fuck you." You quickly got up and threw the linen clot on the table, your legs feeling like jello. "If you'll excuse me, I can't be in the room with someone who cares more about a fucking stranger than a member of this family."

You turned around on your heels and walked out of the room. The second you closed the doors, you let out the biggest sob, a long hallway making it echo throughout the house. You felt like you were falling apart from the inside out.

You stood outside Farleigh's room as you quietly knocked on the door, only a quiet sob audible. You silently opened the door and what you saw broke your heart completely. Farleigh was laying on the floor, his knees pulled towards his body, his arms wrapped around them as loud sobs fell from his lips.

You looked around his room and saw how big of a mess it was. Everything was scattered on the floor. His clothes, his books, all of his belongings on the floor. You bit your lip in hopes it would stop you from crying, but it didn't help.

You walked over to his sobbing figure and knelt down, your arms immediately wrapping around his body.

"Farleigh... baby.." you whispered, his body shaking.

"They think I killed him." He whispered through his cries, his tears soaking the carpet underneath him. "I didn't do it." His cries kept getting louder and it was harder for you to stay quiet because you couldn't stand him being like this, broken, like he didn't mean anything to anybody. Like it was all his fault. You wanted to fix everything and make it all okay for him because that's exactly what he deserved. He deserved better and to be treated right.

"No, Farleigh, you didn't do it. It's not your fault, please don't think that. You didn't kill Felix." You told him, your hands caressing his arms, comforting him, hoping it would help him even just a little bit.

"Now I feel like I did." He cried out, his face now buried in his hands.

"Hey, come here." You grabbed his arm and gently pulled him, moving his hands from his face. You intertwined your fingers with his and helped him sit up, his knees once more pulled towards his body. You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, gently caressing his cheeks before you cupped his face, making him look at you directly in your eyes.

"You didn't do it, why would you think that? Because of Oliver?" He just nooded and closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, the pressure and the pain in your heart from seeing Farleigh like this was unbearable.

"Fuck him, Farleigh. He's a nobody, a fucking leech and if I could get rid of him, I would. You're so much more than all of this. You deserve everything in this world and if they can't see it, fuck 'em." You trailed off, tears welling up in your eyes and your voice breaking every other word.

"Everybody is leaving me, pushing me away like I mean nothing." He sobbed and quickly got up as he started pacing around his room, his cries so loud that it seemed like he was fighting for air. You jumped up and stood there in place for a few seconds, somehow unable to move.

"Are you also going to leave me?" His voice cracked and right then he looked like a little kid. You dare to say that he looked absolutely defeated. "Please don't leave me."

A loud cry fell from your lips, his words hurting you, hurting how he thought that you would actually leave him after everything. You shook your head and practically ran towards him, your body smashing into his

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, your face buried in his chest as you sobbed quietly. His arms squeezed you, almost as if he was afraid if he held you lightly or if he let you go, you would somehow slip away.

"I will never leave you, Farleigh. I could never. You're a part of me and if I lose you, I'll lose myself. Please don't ever think that I would leave you." He kissed the top of your head, one hand still wrapped around your body while the other gently caressed your hair.

"Now let's get out of here. Okay?" You kissed him on the lips gently, his arms resting on your hips. You had to get out of this house, had to get away from Saltburn as soon as possible. The only good thing about all of this? Farleigh by your side.

"Okay."

#farleigh start #saltburn #farleigh start x reader #saltburn x reader #farleigh start smut #saltburn smut

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sadghostbitch · 29 days

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Go ahead and cry, little boy

written for ‘Fool’ | wc: 454 | rated: T | cw: none, I don't think | Tags: T for slight swearing, pre-steddie, no upside down AU, mentions of children abandonment, recreational drug use, hurt/comfort wannabe.

@steddiemicrofic

================

Eddie watches how Steve Harrington gets saddled with a child that isn't his.

The entire town knows what happened.

Steve Harrington dated Nancy Wheeler for a year, back in high school, until she made a fool out of him with Jonathan Byers.

And yet, here they were, seven years after the fact, with the eyes of the town on Wheeler dropping her firstborn onto her ex before fucking off to wherever she lived now.

So Eddie watched.

Harrington going to the store with the kid, buying groceries and looking like a fool while trying to buy baby shit he found on the aisle.

Harrington speaking with every mother in Hawkins, looking for advice from the fools who've done it before.

Harrington looking exhausted (and still as beautiful as ever), on his dead end job at family video, where he had raised into a management position.

Harrington on his door one afternoon, foolishly asking if he still sold drugs.

"I do. But don't you have a child now? Where are they?"

Harrington sighed, dragging a hand across his face.

"I asked Karen and the kids to babysit her, I- look, I'm tired. And I just wanted some weed, if you can't sell me that I'll just leave"

Eddie watched him while he spoke. Harrington DID look exhausted, like he'll kneel over the second he lets go, the second he leaves the tension drain of his body.

And Eddie wants to see that, he suddenly realizes, he wants to see Harrington at his most relaxed, without the stress he always seems to carry around, so he makes a choice.

============

Eddie watches Harring- Steve (he'd asked Eddie to call him that) relax on his bed, all loose limbs and hazy eyes, looking the most calm and pretty Eddie has ever seen him.

"I don't think I'm ready for this. Aileen deserves better than a twenty-something fool taking care of her instead of her mom"

Eddie startles, they've been quiet this whole time, but Steve talks, undeterred, about his kid.

"But Nancy didn't want her, you know? So she called me, because she remembered some dumb shit I told her the last time we met and gave her to me."

Stevie is crying now, still beautiful, looking entirely like the fool he is while his haze is stuck on the ceiling and the words keep slipping out.

"And I wasn't ready, but I just couldn't leave her, I didn't want her to be like me"

Eddie reaches out, sweeping the tears out of Stevie's face.

"It was hard, wasn't it? It's okay sweetheart, I've got you"

Those big, beautiful sad eyes stare at him.

"You promise?"

"I promise"

Stevie is a fool, yet Eddie still finds him lovely.

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igotanidea · 1 year

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The fear: Jason Todd x fem!reader part 1

"I'm calling Y/N."

"I don't need her here!"

"We both know you do."

"I don't want her here!"

"Jason." Dick was caught in the middle between getting angry at his brother and being annoyed with his stubornness.

"Do not call her!" he yelled in frustration "I can handle myself. There's no need to."

12 hours earlier

In fact, nothing happened. It was just a regular day, regular patrol, regular criminals. Nothing unusual. Red Hood was running around the crime alley making sure no kids or working girls were harassed by any scumbags. Quite peaceful night to be honest. Until one particular bat decided to come by Red's territory. It was official business. Apparently, Scarecrow escaped from Arkham, again, and was last saw by Tim, crossing the Crime Alley's border. Jason was not happy with Dick appearance (since obviously Tim decided to stay behind, not ready to face his angered resurected brother) and instead of working together to capture Crane before any damage was done they started bantering. Who would have thought, right?

"Cut it off, you two! Something's happening there!" Tim yelled through the comms trying his best to take hold of the situation

"The only thing that is happening is Dick getting his ass handed to him!"

"I'm serious, Red. There's some.... smoke? Oh shit."

"Oh, shit!" Dick repeated in sudden realisation "where is it, Red Robin? Where do we go? What do you see?"

"It's coming from the building on your right side, Nightwing. And it's spreading really fast."

"We're on it." Dick assured "Hood?"

"I am not working with you. Not now, not ever. Get the hell out of..."

"Oh, screw you." Dick hissed and moved to the edge of the rooftop in order to swinging away. Jay could have stayed there for what he cared, but Dick was not going to be passive. Crime Alley or not, there were still people exposed to Crane's fear toxin. "You know, I was really hoping you grew up just a bit."

"Wait. I'll help you. But only because of the kids living in that building. They.... they don't deserve any of that toxin to reach them."

"Good choice, Red."

However, despite boys best efforts they could not fully eliminate the threat and when they started their rescue operation some children were already crying in fears and terrors their poisoned brains produced.

"Janet." Red turned towards one of the working girls, who usually took care of some of the kids "is everyone out?"

"No. We couldn't find Jimmy, he wouldn't come out. Red, what is happening?"

"Where did you last see him? On which floor?"

"Third, but I still don't...."

"Watch them, Wing. I'll get the kid!" Jason took of running. He knew Jimmy Thomas. He was barely 8 years old and has already been through too much trauma. To tell the truth, Jay saw too much of himself from the past in this boy and made it his personal mission to protect him. And now, he was failing at that.

"What are you...?" he was not even listeing to whatever his older brother was saying when he burst to the building, heading towards the third floor in frantic search for the boy.

"Jimmy?! Jimmy where are you?!"

"I'm scared. Please, don't hurt me....." trembling voice came just from around the corner and Jay's heart clenched.

"Fuck! Jimmy, hey, you're good, kiddo, you're good" he grabbed that little broken figure in his arms, cradling him into his chest, covering boy's face so he wouldn;t inhale any more of the gas. "I'll get you to safety, all right? It's gonna be all good, I promise."

"Red? Are you good there? Did you find the boy?" Dick spoke throught the comms

"Yeah, I got him. I'm taking him out right now. Did you call for help?"

"I though you didn't want to work with the bats...."

"MEDICAL help, you idiot. Of course I don't want more of you."

"I don't think any doctor will help with Crane's toxic. You know it just have to wear off."

"Yeah, thanks for the clarification, replacement. And you keep wondering why I don't want you around."

Funny thing about Jason Todd was that while he was always ready to kill and kick asses, full of anger and tended to be harsh, he would NEVER let anyone hurt a kid. That was exactly why his hotheadedness took over when he rushed for the rescue and didn't spend one second wondering how the fear gas will affect him.

And he was about to find out.

edit: part 2 is up!

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artandshid · 1 year

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‘do i even matter to you anymore’ with famous rockstar girly x eddie munson (flipped the rockstar narrative on its head 🥸)

This was really fun, thank you for this. Let me know what you guys think. Also I added Nikki Sixx in this because I love him so much and younger him deserves better. Angst to fluff.

Y/n and Eddie have been best friends since they were 10 years old. They did band camp together, she was a singer and he was a guitarist. They were soul mates crafted by the rock Gods themselves.

They had big plans to tour and travel together. However, it didn't exactly happen like that. She graduated and he didn't. She stayed in Hawkins and waited for him another year. He didn't graduate again. She got an offer from an all girl band based in Los Angeles that was looking for a new lead. Apparently they have been looking at her for a while, seeing her perform solo at a bar this past winter.

She was hesitant to take the offer, Eddie was still going to be here in Hawkins and she wasn't sure if she was ready to do it without him. If she even wanted to do it without him. For the past nine years of her life, Eddie was the center of her world, and she liked it like that. She liked him like that.

But he insisted that she go. That he will catch up with her and that nothing will change. They will still be the best of friends. No matter what.

She didn't tell him that she loved him and she should have. Now she wished she did, maybe things would be different. Maybe they wouldn't have drifted apart the way that they did.

She's been on tour with 'Burn' for the past six months. She hates the group. She never thought that she would hate it as much as she does, but there is more drama with this group than anything. They were meant to be empowering and badass, and they're not, they sleep with each other's boyfriends and talk shit behind each other's backs. You can't take it anymore. You want to be a solo act or play with a band you actually get along with. You want to play with Eddie.

Which doesn't even seem to be possible anymore because he's graduated now, but he also is showing no motivation to being near you anymore. It seemed that he was happy to stay in Hawkins. Your worst fears told you that he found somebody. But you also wouldn't know because he doesn't open up to you anymore.

You call him every night to talk to him while the other girls are out partying and living their best lives. You would go with them, but you're not interested in doing any of that stuff around people you aren't comfortable with. But yes you call him every night. And he used to pick up and you guys would talk for hours. Then he would pick up and the conversations were shorter, but you both understood. You were both living super busy lives. Now you have to pray that he would pick up your call at all. And when he does, he's distant.

You don't know what happened over this past year, but you just want your best friend back. And you want a sense of normalcy. And all of that is hitting you today. And you just want to cry and your best friend isn't picking up.

You try calling him for a third time, this time he answers.

"What?" He says with a snap, and you feel tears fall from your face.

"Hey," You start out shakily and hear him sigh through the phone. "Just wanted to check in, you haven't answered my calls in a few days."

"Well you know, I've been busy. How is everything going on the road?" He asks disinterested.

"Not so good Eds, I'm tired and there's so much drama going on, and they keep trying to get me to party and I just don't want to. I just want to feel a sense of normalcy even for just a few hours." You tell him and he's silent for a second.

"That really sucks sweetheart, but I gotta go, I'm sorry." He says and you want to reach through the phone and choke him.

"Did I do something Eddie, because please tell me if I did. You've been distant with me for the past few weeks and I don't know if I can take it anymore. Do I even matter to you anymore?" You sob over the phone, not even realizing when the tears started.

"Listen y/n, I can't really talk right now, but you mean the world to me. I just can't talk right now." He says and he hangs up.

***********************************************************************

The last thing Nikki Sixx expected to see in the stairway of his hotel was Y/N Y/L/N crying. They've never formally met before, but everybody knew who she was. She was the newest sex symbol and every guy wanted her and every girl wanted to be her. And on top of that she has a killer voice. As a musician he has to respect that.

"Are you okay?" He asks her and she looks up and upon seeing him, she rolls her eyes. Understandable, he caused most of the drama within her group lately. Because he was dating the bassist, Victoria Star, but then he cheated on her with the drummer, Mila Montez. So now sometimes when they're playing, they both try to throw the rhythm off on each other.

"I'm fine, it's nothing you can fix." She tells him and basically shoves him away.

He takes a seat next to her anyways, "I probably can't help, but I heard I'm a pretty good listener."

"Yeah because you're too high to function most of the time." She says with an eye roll. She really doesn't want to be around anybody right now.

"Oh wow, so she's talented, pretty and funny." Nikki says with a laugh and nudge to her shoulder.

"Don't be trying to get into my pants now, too."

"Trust me, I'm not. I know you're not like that."

"Yeah and how do you know that?" She doesn't know why she's getting defensive.

"Because one, I've never seen you at the parties, which good idea, you're too good to be messing with that shit. Two, I personally think you're too young for my liking. What are you like 19? 20? And three, all those girls I sleep with, they have one thing in common with me. They lost all of the passion. They're so broken they can't even find refuge in the one thing that brought us all to where we are now. Music. But you?! I've watched your performances. You still love it. That is why I'm so determined to help you right now, because I don't want you to lose it. If you do, guess where you will be? On some staircase in Chicago telling a rookie not to lose their passion while you're too high to function." He finishes his rant with heavy breaths. And you raise your eyebrows at him, trying to hold in a laugh.

Eventually, his serious expression becomes too much for you and you burst out laughing.

He laughs too, "There you go, now are you gonna talk to me or are you gonna end up another basket case on the Sunset Strip?"

"I miss normalcy, I don't think this is for me. All of this touring and shit, maybe I'm just meant to be a hometown hero, and at this point, I'm fine with that." You tell him and Nikki wraps a hesitant, but comforting arm around your shoulders.

"You are not meant to be a hometown hero, like I said, I've seen you play, you're a rockstar y/n. Tour will be over soon, and you don't have to play with those bitches forever you know. You have a fan base of your own, you can run off on your own and be a solo act. Diamond Dave did it and it worked. You just have to have faith in yourself." Nikki tells her and draws circles on her shoulder.

"There's just so much drama going on with the band and in my personal life, I just want to hide away. And I can't. I'm always in the spotlight and now I'm scared that I can never get out of it. Right now I'm the fantasy of every man over the age of 13 and in a few years I'm just going to be considered another washed up singer. I want privacy and I want my old life back and I want my best friend." You say as the tears start again.

"I know it may seem that the spotlight is permanent, but I promise you it will get better. Just keep up the good reputation and keep making music. Make music for you, though, not for anybody else. And if it becomes too much, go back to the place and person you love most." He says, but you're pretty sure he's too far out of it to really know what he's saying. But he's actually being a huge help.

You sit there for a few more minutes, still sniffling with Nikki's arm still wrapped around your shoulder.

Suddenly, you hear the door of the staircase open and you look up to see your best friend. He's holding flowers in his hand, his hair is extremely wild, and his eyes are huge with wonder looking at you.

"Y/n, I missed you so much." He tells you and you smile, he looks amazing. Suddenly he looks to the figure next to you and says, "Holy shit is that Nikki Sixx."

"Yeah what's up man?" Nikki says to him not really registering that someone is talking to him and Eddie gives you a confused look.

You just shrug your shoulders and stand up to walk over to him, "Eddie, what the hell are you doing here, I thought you were busy?" You say with an edge to your voice.

"Sweetheart, I was busy planning this. That's why I've been so busy. I needed the money to get to Chicago to see my best friend." He tells you and wraps his arms around you and you hug him back tenderly.

"Eddie, you have no idea how happy I am that you're here. I've missed you so much. So much shit has been happening and I just really needed my best friend to talk to and then I thought you were mad at me and-" Eddie stops you with a kiss on your lips.

You're in shock, obviously, "You can tell me all about how shitty your band members are and how much I suck after I tell you the reason I came here in the first place. I love you. So much, I love you so much. This past year, I realized my life is shit without you. It was a scary thought of course because I know that if I truly just had friendly feelings towards you, I wouldn't want to die being away from you. If you don't feel the same way, I get it, but I need you in my life no matter where you're at or where you're going, I don't want to be too far behind."

You reach up and kiss him, deep. "Eddie that is all I've wanted. Everyday I've spent knowing you, I fall more in love. I'm so happy you're here." You say and wrap your arms around his neck and he snuggle his head into your neck.

"So I guess you guys aren't just best friends, huh?" Nikki says standing up and stumbling a bit. He has a sly smirk on his face. "What was your name again..... Eddie?" He asks with a smirk and Eddie just nods his head, absolutely starstruck, "Yes, well, Eddie you better treat her right, because she's a hell of a girl." Nikki finishes and stumbles his way up the staircase and out the door. Hopefully making it to his room for the night.

"Is he alright?" Eddie asks.

"I think he's okay. I'm glad I got to talk to him, he's very philosophical." Y/n says and they both chuckle.

"How do you feel about Corroded Coffin having a female lead singer after I finish this tour?" You ask him and he gives you the brightest, Eddie smile.

"Sounds totally metal babe"

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson angst #best friend! eddie munson #eddie munson x you

129 notes · View notes

shiftingparadise · 2 years

Note

Hii 😊 I hope you're having an awesome day. I love reading your fanfics so I'm here to request a professional attorney!Levi x female reader (angst+fluff+a little bit of smutt with a happy ending.)

So here's how the story goes: reader is a victim of domestic violence of her ex-boyfriend (you can name him after whatever you want 😁). Reader used to live with him because he used to be very sweet and loving. He didn't show his true colors after Levi moved to live with him. After a year of their relationship he started beating her up, insulting her and threatening her with her life if she tells anyone. One day she manages to run away from his abuse (which was almost killing her) and contact one of her best friends (our boy Levi) who's a renowned lawyer. Levi used to have a crush on reader but when her boyfriend stepped in and he saw them happy he didn't meddle. You can decide how Levi reacts to her call 😊❤ Also I thought it would be cool if you could write lawyer Levi defending reader in the courtroom masterfully and knowing how she was abused her boyfriend gets arrested for what he did to reader and eventually reader releases a sigh of relief. Levi confesses to reader eventually and things turn hot in the end 😍😘❤🔥 Thanks in advance! 🌹

aw, thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 . I'm sorry this took so long, but I really wanted to take my time writing this one! I loved this idea, and I feel like Levi would be so protective and caring towards the reader 🥺 . I hope you like it, enjoy reading! 🤍

It's pretty angsty in the beginning, so if you're not comfortable with this topic, please skip this story 🤍

Word count: 6462

‘Please stop’, you tried to control your breathing, heart beating out of your chest, fingers desperately tucking on the soft fabric of your sheets, ‘P-please, I didn`t mean t-‘.

Your words were cut short, fingers now digging in your hair, pulling you away from the mattress.

‘Doesn`t matter, I told you to immediately come home after work. Who knows where a bitch like you has been running off to? Bet you went to see that piece of shit again, didn’t you? Thought I made it clear last time that I don’t want you to see him again’, your boyfriend’s voice filled up the entire room, and fear took over your senses. ‘N-no! Of course not. Zeke, really, I-I didn’t-‘, ‘Stop crying, a little whore like you doesn’t deserve to be treated like a woman’, Zeke tightened his grip on your hair, making sure your scalp was hurting before he dragged you from the bed.

You desperately placed both hands on his wrist, trying to ease the pain.

‘Please’, voice shaking when you could see him lifting his hand in the air. You didn’t want this, you didn’t deserve this. ‘Tch’, Zeke smirked at you, ‘You know this is your fault, right? You made me angry. You could’ve avoided all of this, but no, you made me do this’.

Did you? His words cast doubt in your mind. Even though you just went to the store to get some dinner, you knew you had to go straight home from work. Zeke had made it clear he didn’t want you to do something else before you got home.

‘You think I enjoy this?’. A shiver left your body when you could feel his free hand gently hover over your cheek before he smacked you again. ‘I asked you a question Y/N’, he once again tightened the grip on your hair before he dragged you across the floor into the bathroom. ‘Look at yourself. Look how pathetic you are’, Zeke pulled you up from the ground, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror.

You slowly opened your eyes, vision blurry from the tears that kept streaming down your face. All you could see in that mirror was a mess. Lips bruised, a drop of blood still hanging on your chin; a bruised eye, barely able to open itself; nose running; …

‘I said look’, you could feel your cheek being pressed against the cold mirror, a tiny cloud of fog appearing. You couldn’t reply, only sobs and whimpers escaped from your mouth.

You didn’t understand what happened, what made Zeke act the way he did. He used to treat you so well, always so kind and thoughtful. Always buying you flowers, opening every door, pulling your chair back... He always listened to you, making sure you had everything you needed… But everything changed when you moved in with him. He made you slowly, but surely, distance yourself from your friends and family, and once you had no one left, he became a monster. He started telling you how you were nothing without him, how he took care of you; how ungrateful you were when you tried to stick up for yourself…. He manipulated you and you fell right into his trap.

‘I’m sure you want to call Levi again? Right? Want me to smack your phone again, like the last time? He didn’t even pick up, that’s how much he cares about you’. At this point, you were afraid the pressure would cause the mirror to shatter. ‘N-No Zeke, I wasn-‘, ‘What’s wrong?’, you could feel his hot breath against your ear, his knee forcefully pulling your legs apart, ‘You’re nothing but a cheap whore Y/N, you deserve this’.

Your heart was beating even faster. No one deserved this, not even you. You were sure of it. Maybe you were a bad girlfriend, a bad person even. Perhaps he was right, maybe no one cared about you… But this was wrong. No one deserved to go through this.

‘Zeke, no, please stop. I-I don’t want this!’, you begged, over and over again. ‘You don’t want this?’, Zeke chuckled in response, ‘You’re mine. I can take you wherever and whenever I want… I can take you how I want, even lovingly and delicately, but that’s not what you deserve, is it?’.

His hand forcefully pulled you away from the mirror, pushing your head down in the sink underneath it. You could hear him undo his pants before he pulled up your skirt. You started to panic. Zeke hurt you, more times than you could count, but he never did this. He never forced himself onto you like this. Was he ever going to stop? Things only got worse at this point, where would it end? Your body stuffed in a dirty bag underneath the ground? You had to get out, you had to run, even if that meant leaving your belongings behind. If you didn’t escape now, if you didn’t run from this monster, you would end up dead.

‘Z-zeke stop’, you cried out, hands reaching behind your back, trying to push him away from you, ‘Don’t forget what happens if you ever decide to open that dumb mouth of yours to someone’. Once again, he pulled on your hair, his lips brushing against the soft skin of your earlobe, ‘I’ll use you over and over again until your body can’t take it anymore, and once I’ve decided that I’m done with you, I’ll be sure that the last thing you’ll ever see is my hand around your throat’.

Something in your mind clicked when you could feel his fingers tangle themselves with the thin fabric of your slip, venomous words still flowing from his lips. Without thinking, you grabbed one of the glasses with your toothbrush in it. You couldn’t see where you had to throw it, but you didn’t need to, your instincts had taken over. You wouldn’t let this happen to you, even if you deserved it, even if you had nowhere to go.

‘Get off me!’, you grabbed the glass and smacked it on the hand that was tangled in your hair. You didn’t hesitate when you could hear your boyfriend grunt out in pain, grabbing his wrist to look at the blood that was spilling from his hand, ‘Fucking bitch!’, you could hear him yell behind you, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you ran as fast as you could to the door of the apartment, not even bothering to grab your purse. You needed to run, to get away from him before he could lay his hands on you again.

---

‘L-Levi?’, you were shaking, one hand carefully placed in between your thighs, ‘I-it’s me, Y/N’.

You tried to stay strong, to sound brave, but you knew the police officer across the room saw right through your act. After you managed to escape, you didn’t know what to do. All you knew was that you kept running on your bare feet, hoping you’d come across someone to ask for their phone, but the cold kept everyone inside. With nowhere else to go, you went to the police station, but you didn’t tell them what happened, or why you were running through the cold air of the night with no shoes on your feet. Of course, the officers looked strange at you and asked if you were alright, but you couldn’t tell them. Zeke would kill you if you did, or worse, he would go after the persons you cared about. So, you asked them if you could use a phone, and without thinking, you dialed the number of the only person you could trust, your friend, Levi.

---

You carefully entered Levi’s apartment; arms crossed while your fingers were clutching onto his coat that he’d wrapped around you when he picked you up.

‘Are you okay? Here’, he removed his hand from your back before he walked into a room, probably his bedroom, and appeared again with some socks in his hands. ‘Your feet must be freezing’, Levi sat down on one knee before you, gently grabbing your ankle before putting on the socks. He didn’t leave time for you to protest, but the lump inside your throat made it impossible to talk anyway. ‘Tch’, you could feel Levi’s soft hands tighten around your ankle, his free digits softly stroking across the bruises on your leg. ‘Sorry’, you said softly, pulling your foot away. ‘I-I’ll fill up the tub, please make yourself comfortable. I’ll make you some tea in a minute’, Levi didn’t look at you, he just stood back up and disappeared into his bathroom.

You just stood there, frozen. You didn’t know what to do or what to say. It was obvious that Levi felt uncomfortable. Guilt was already washing over you, after all, it was your fault he felt this way.

‘Y/N? Are you alright? You haven’t moved’, Levi reappeared from the bathroom, a towel in his hand. ‘I’m sorry’, you whispered, ‘I shouldn’t have called you’. You let the coat slip from your shoulders before you made your way to the door. ‘Don’t go’, you could feel Levi’s hand on your bruised wrist, causing you to hiss in pain. ‘Fuck’, Levi widened his eyes, quickly removing his hand, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.. please Y/N, please, stay’, he said softly, ‘I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time, but it’s fine, I was never mad if that’s what you’re worried about’.

You didn’t respond. How could he be so gentle towards you when you’ve been ignoring his messages and calls for months now. He was one of your closest friends and you ignored him.

‘I-If I’d respond he’d hurt me’, your voice sounded tired, even raspy. ‘Who? The person who did this to you? Where’s Zeke? Aren’t you two together anymore?’, Levi desperately tried to figure out what happened. ‘Z-zeke did this’, you closed your eyes. It didn’t take long before tears were rolling down your cheeks. You never told anyone, but if you knew you would feel this relieved, you would’ve done it sooner. ‘W-what?’, you didn’t recognize Levi’s voice anymore, ‘Wh-what did you say?’, Levi placed his hand on your shoulder. The unexpected touch caused you to flinch. ‘Y/N?’, Levi widened his eyes when he saw your reaction. He slowly placed his hand on your shoulder again, turning you towards him.

You couldn’t look at Levi. You felt ashamed. Ashamed that you let someone treat you like this, ashamed that the corner of your lip was swollen, your eye bruised, unable to open properly. You felt ashamed Levi saw the bruise Zeke left on your leg when he decided to smack your phone on it when you called Levi a while ago.

‘Y/N?’, you could feel Levi placing his thumb under your chin, slowly lifting your head so that he could take in all the bruises and blood on your face. ‘I’m sorry’, you whimpered, ‘I’m so sorry’, you sobbed while looking at him.

Levi was a handsome, collected man. There usually wasn’t any form of emotion on his face, so seeing him look at you like this made you widen your eyes. He looked as if he was ready to kill someone, hate clouded his eyes, his thumb now softly shaking under your chin.

‘How long has this been going on Y/N?’, he didn’t blink, nor did he move a single muscle. ‘Ever since I moved in with him’, you said softly, ‘T-that’s why I didn’t reply to your messages.. I tried to call you, but before you could pick up the phone, Zeke had already taken it away from me’. ‘Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you come to me?’, Levi raised his voice, not with anger, but his words were laced with concern. ‘B-because he told me no one cares about me, that I’m just a burden to everyone’, you took a step back, a cold spot now on the place where Levi had his fingers. ‘Tch’, Levi closed his eyes, knowing he had to keep calm. He didn’t want to scare you, he didn’t want you to be scared of him. ‘Come on kid, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll get some new clothes for you tomorrow. For now, you can sleep in my shirt’, ‘N-no it’s fine, I’ll get my stuff tomor-‘, ‘Y/N, you’re not going back to that apartment, God knows what he’ll do to you’, Levi interrupted you, ‘The police will get your stuff along with him’. ‘No!’, you quickly blurted out, ‘He’ll kill me, o-or you if I go to the police’. ‘You know I’m a lawyer, right?’, you softly nodded in response, ‘Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll make sure he never leaves prison, I promise. Now let’s get you cleaned up’.

You could feel Levi placing his hand behind your back, guiding you to his bathroom. Levi lived in a luxurious apartment, which wasn’t surprising since he was one of the best – and so naturally, the most expensive – lawyers in town.

‘If there’s anything you need, please call me’, Levi said softly while turning off the tap. You nodded at him, which gave Levi the sign he could leave.

You walked past the mirror, slowly seating yourself on the edge of the tub so you could undress. You tried to look as little as possible at your own body, you didn’t want the memories of Zeke hurting you to pop up in your head.

You slowly got up after you slipped out of your skirt, walking towards the shirt Levi had placed next to the sink. You slowly let your digits run over the soft fabric, noticing how clean everything was. Without noticing, your gaze slowly moved towards the mirror.

‘W-why did I let this happen’, you whispered, trying to hold back tears while your digits were running over the bruises on your collarbone, slowly moving upwards your neck, seeing his fingers imprinted on the side of it. ‘What did I do wrong to deserve this’, your fingers now trailing over your bruised lip, a stinging sensation took over when you tried to wipe the blood away.

You couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in a year, you could find the time to break down, to feel your emotions. All the fear, the hurt, the anger, you could feel it raining down on you.

‘Y/N? Are you okay?’, Levi softly knocked on the bathroom door once he heard your cries, your heavy breaths. You didn’t respond, you couldn’t. You could see all the memories flashing before your eyes, causing you to collapse on the floor, arms placed over your head to protect yourself.

‘Y/N?’, Levi’s knocks became louder, but by now your mind wasn’t in his apartment anymore. In your mind, you were lying on your bathroom floor, back in Zeke’s apartment. The white floor is stained with your blood, while you’re trying to stop the bleeding from your nose, pleading for him to stop.

By now Levi had told you he was going to enter, he had called your name over and over again, but you never responded. Once he entered, he could feel his heart breaking. You were on your hands and knees, only wearing your lingerie. It seemed like you were desperately trying to wipe something from the floor that wasn’t there, saying sorry over and over again.

‘Y/N?’, Levi slowly sat down next to you, carefully letting his hand rest on your back, ‘N-no! Stop please, don’t hurt me, please’. Levi widened his eyes when he saw you flinch, finally understanding what was wrong. ‘Kid, you’re here, with me. I would never hurt you, you know that’, he tried to sound as gentle as possible, slowly moving closer to you again.

Levi tried his best to keep his composure when he saw that your entire body was covered in cuts and bruises. Your stomach area and ribs must have been where he hit you the most, seeing as how there was almost no pink skin left anymore. In all his cases, he never saw anything like this. Levi had clients that went through hell, but compared to you, that was nothing. He could only imagine what you had to go through.

‘L-levi’, you widened your eyes, slowly realizing where you were again, ‘I-I’m so sorry’. You collected yourself, ashamed Levi saw you like this. ‘Don’t ever try to apologize again kid, you have every right to feel this way’.

You looked at him, feeling confused all of a sudden. You had lived so long under Zeke’s tyranny that you forgot there was kindness in people too.

You lowered your head, slowly crawling towards him. ‘Thank you’, you whispered before placing your arms around his neck, ‘Thank you so much, Levi’.

Levi widened his eyes, he’d never hugged you like this, so intimate. He knew you needed him, and he wanted nothing more than for you to feel safe. He carefully placed one arm around your naked back, slowly caressing the soft skin.

‘I’ll always be there for you kid, no matter what’.

---

‘Here, you can sleep in my bed’, Levi said while placing a glass of water on his nightstand, ‘I’ll have to work in the morning, so I’ll be in my study if you wake up’. ‘Where will you be sleeping?’, you scratched your forearm awkwardly, ‘On the couch, so if there’s anything wrong, just call me’. ‘I don’t want you to give up your bed for me, I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t want to be a bu-‘, ‘You’re not. If anything, I’m glad you’re here with me. I’ve missed you’, Levi replied quietly, a small smile on his face, ‘Goodnight kid’.

Before you could reply, Levi already closed the door of his bedroom. You slowly walked towards the bed. Levi’s sheets were softer than the ones Zeke used to have, probably more expensive too. You curled up underneath them, trying to repress the feeling of guilt.

‘Glad I’m here?’, you tucked at the sheets, pulling them over your head, ‘Someone's glad to see me?’.

---

Levi couldn’t find any sleep that night. His mind unwillingly wandered off to all the possible ways Zeke had been hurting you.

‘Tch’, Levi gritted his teeth, turning on his side, ‘I want to kill that bastard for hurting her’.

You didn’t know Levi had a crush on you for so long, and when Levi noticed how happy you were with Zeke, realizing how he made you smile, he decided to repress his feelings. Levi knew that he could never make you smile like that, not when he had to put so much of his time into his work. He thought it would be best if he took a step back, if he allowed you to be happy with someone – whom he thought – would give you the world. If he only knew what kind of person Zeke was, if he’d only knew that piece of shit was going to treat you like this…

‘L-levi?’, your soft whimper barged through his thoughts. Levi immediately sat up straight, looking at you from his couch. ‘Is something wrong?’, he tilted his head, scanning your body language.

You were standing across the room, fingers nervously fiddling with each other. Levi couldn’t help but be mesmerized by your beauty. The way your hair brushed over his white shirt, the way the light fabric hovered over your breasts… God, he wished he didn’t feel like this, but he couldn’t help but feel a certain ache in his pants at the sight of you. You were so fragile, your aura so small and delicate. He wanted to pull your naked body against his, to feel every inch of you.

You closed your eyes, cheeks burning red. You’d been practicing this for hours now, how you were going to ask him, which words to use… but your mind had gone blank. ‘Y/N?’, he stood up from the couch, leaving his blanket behind. When you could see he was only wearing his boxers, your cheeks burnt even more. ‘Levi I… I can’t sleep’, ‘Do you want some tea?’, his voice sounded tired, his fingers resting on the back of his neck. You shook your head, looking down at the floor.

Guilt washed over you again. You were robbing him of his well-needed sleep. You quickly closed your eyes, lips pressed against each other.

‘C-could you sleep with me? Please? I feel so scared, and I need to smell your scent so that I know you’re here with me, that I’m not alone. I know you need to work in the morning, and I know that it may sound strange but, please Levi… I need to feel your warmth’, you hastily rambled, wondering if Levi even understood what you just said.

‘Huh?’, Levi tilted his head. He hadn’t slept in the same bed with a woman in so long, what did you even want him to do? You need to feel his ‘warmth’? What did that even mean? Did you want him to hug you? Or just to- ‘Tch’, Levi cut his thoughts off by forcing himself to look at you. There was a time when he couldn’t think of anything else. When he dreamt of holding you at night, and now you were asking him to.

‘I’m sorry, that was stupid’, you nervously chuckled, quickly turning around at his lack of response. ‘N-no, I’m coming, just give me a second to grab my shirt’, Levi turned his back towards you, eyes searching for the shirt he’d thrown somewhere on the ground. ‘Oh, don’t worry, you don’t need to put it on… I-I mean I don’t ca-‘, you let out a sigh, closing your eyes, ‘It doesn’t bother me if you’re not wearing a shirt. We’re two adults’, you forced a smile on your face.

---

‘You’re comfortable?’, ‘Hm’, you hummed in agreement.

You were curled up, back towards your friend while trying to keep as much distance as possible. Levi was lying on his back, one hand placed behind his neck.

An awkward silence filled his bedroom. So, you decided it would be best to try to fall asleep as fast as possible, knowing Levi would probably do the same.

‘H-huh?’, your whole body tensed up when you could hear Levi sighing before turning towards you. You could feel him softly placing his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, ‘You’re shaking kid. Can I hold you like this?’.

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt a touch this kind and caring. Without realizing it, your body had melted against him. You hadn’t felt this safe in so long. A quiet tear streamed down your cheek.

‘C-can you hold me a bit tighter?’, you quietly respond, words laced with embarrassment. ‘Like this?’, Levi pulled you even closer, your back now fully pressed against him.

You couldn’t see Levi smiling, just like you didn’t notice how he took in the scent of your hair. Levi wished this moment could last forever. He could die right here and now, and he would die happily holding you like this. He thought he successfully repressed his feelings for you, but hearing your breathing slow down under his touch, feeling your body melt into his… He’d never stopped loving you, you were like nicotine to him, so addicting.

---

‘L-levi?’, you slowly opened your eyes, still tired from everything that happened. ‘Oh right’, you let out a yawn, ‘He’s working’’.

You could see the sun shining on the white sheets, leaving a golden glow on them. It felt ages since you woke up this relaxed.

You slowly got out of bed, making your way to the bathroom.

‘I can’t go out like this’, you sighed at your black eye and swollen lip, splashing some cold water on your face before noticing a toothbrush laying on the sink, still in its package. You chuckled, ‘You really thought of everything, didn’t you?’.

You brushed your teeth before walking toward the kitchen. Now that you had the time to catch your breath and you knew you were safe, your stomach started working again. After months, you finally felt hungry.

‘Hm?’, you tilted your head, carefully picking up the note Levi had left on the table:

‘I’m getting you some clothes and sanitary stuff. Please make yourself at home. Breakfast’s in the fridge. I thought you once mentioned that a smoothie is your favorite breakfast, so I got you one. I’ll be back soon’.

You couldn’t understand why he went through all this trouble for you. You didn’t deserve this. You reluctantly walked towards the fridge, only to see your favorite smoothie; strawberry-mango with some chia seeds.

---

Some time passed and you were still living with Levi. You told him you were going to leave, that you’d find somewhere to stay, but he insisted you’d stay with him. You were happy he did. There was no place you’d rather be than by his side, especially during the night. He’d always let you curl up against him; always comforting you when you woke up from a nightmare;…

Levi went to the police station with you, where he remained by your side as your lawyer. He needed to convince you to tell your story, saying you needed to save others from the abuse you’d gone through. You found the courage to tell your story thanks to him, knowing he’ll be by your side once you saw Zeke in court. You knew Levi would offer you a kind smile during your testimony, giving you the courage to continue your story once the pictures of your wounds would be displayed to the judge and jury. Levi would guide you through it all, he would be the one who put Zeke behind bars, he promised.

Today, however, was the day you needed to go to court, when you would be forced to look into the dark eyes of your abuser once again. Levi knew you were nervous, so he did everything he could to show you he would be there for you through it all.

---

‘Can you please put evidence #67 on the screen?’, Levi looked at Zeke who was sitting at the front, noticing his eyes were directly looking at you.

God, Levi wanted nothing more than to kill that man. Even with all the evidence, even when he could see you sniffling behind the table next to Levi… he was still smirking. As if he was proud of what he’d done. Zeke was a sick man, that was certain, but the guts he had for smirking at you…

Levi closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure. After all, this was good for the case, this would guarantee your victory. Not only Levi, but the judges too were able to see what a monster he was.

‘As you can see on the screen, Mr. Yeager decided it was a good idea to carve his name into Miss L/N her left thigh, to make sure she knew whom she belonged to’.

Levi paused for a second before looking at Zeke with a cold stare.

‘Is that right, Mr. Yeager?’, ‘Tch’, Zeke smirked while chuckling, ‘Objection, your honor, speculative’. ‘I’m sorry your honor, but I don’t think it’s speculative when his name is carved into her skin’. ‘Objection overruled’, Levi let out a small smile at the judge’s response. He knew he was going to win this case, no matter what, and that piece of shit made it even easy for him to win.

You were a smart woman, even though you didn’t think so, but it showed in all the pictures and text messages you’d collected and stored in your google drive account. As if you knew you were going to end up here, in court, with Levi by your side.

---

‘You better come home, now. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to punish you’.

Levi read the text message out loud, his stomach turning. ‘This was sent on March 23, at 17.16, am I right?’, Levi let one eye glide from his paper towards Zeke. ‘You read that so well, Mr. Ackerman’, he responded with a smirk. Levi cleared his throat, ‘At 17.19, only 3 minutes later, Mr. Yeager sent another text:

‘I’ve had it with you. Are you so dumb that you can’t even respond to a text, or is your boss his dick stuck in your throat? Fuck, you’re a little whore Y/N. Remember that when you get home, you’re getting what you deserve’.

‘That’s what you texted her, correct?’. Even though Levi had read the texts over and over again, they never failed to make him sick, his blood boiling from anger. ‘You’re so perceptive, Mr. Ackerman. What did she do to you that made you take her as a client? I mean, she hasn’t got the money… Did she open her pretty legs on your desk?’.

Levi widened his eyes at his recklessness. Was he really that stupid? Levi won the case now, that much was certain, but how could he say something like that? Even in court? Levi only imagined how his lawyer must’ve reacted, probably sighing at his client's remark. He heard the judge say something in response, but Levi couldn’t hear what she was saying. He could only look at that bastard and dream of how he pulled him over that stupid counter and beat the living shit out of him. Only when Levi heard your sobbing did he decide to shift his attention from Zeke to you.

You couldn’t help but cry, to feel humiliated at his remark. You hated this. You hated to be forced to relive every painful memory, but you knew Levi had won this case. Zeke just showed everyone what a cruel person he was.

---

‘I’m so glad he’s put behind bars’, you sighed in relief while placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, slowly taking off your heels.

During the entire drive towards his apartment, Levi didn’t speak. You thanked him multiple times, but he only forced a small smile on his face.

‘Me too’, Levi replied coldly, walking towards the kitchen, ‘Want some wine? Think a celebration is in order’. ‘I would love some’, you slowly got up, walking towards the kitchen.

Levi’s strong hands were opening the bottle. You could only imagine how they would feel entangled in yours while his raven hair brushed over your forehead, his hot breath hovering over your lips, you softly moaning underneath him.

Over the past few weeks, you tried to repress every inappropriate thought you had of your friend, but it had gotten impossible. Especially now, with his tie loose around his neck, a few buttons open of his white shirt, letting you take a peek at his toned chest; … Levi looked so good in a suit, or some grey sweatpants… Well, he looked good in anything.

‘Let’s go to dinner tonight, I want to take you somewhere nice’, Levi broke through your inappropriate thoughts, ‘Or…’, you smiled, ‘We can order some takeout? Maybe watch a movie?’.

Levi’s heart jumped with joy when he could see that spark in your eyes again. It had been so long since he saw you smiling at him like that.

‘Guessing you want sushi?’, Levi poured some wine into your glass, ‘Please’, you jokingly pouted before thanking him for the wine.

---

‘No, why would she do that?’, you sighed, ‘He’ll come for her, is she stupid?’, you yelled at the television. ‘H-huh?’, you widened your eyes when you looked at Levi.

Levi was looking at you, smiling. You never saw him like this.

‘W-what’s wrong?’, you crawled towards him. Levi was sitting on the other side of the couch, nonchalantly taking a sip from his wine.

You were sitting on your knees, wearing nothing else but a shirt from Levi, body turned towards his. Your cheeks were probably already red from the wine you’d been drinking, but you didn’t care.

‘You’re beautiful’, ‘H-huh?’, you widened your eyes, your body froze. ‘You’re beautiful Y/N’, he softly repeated himself before placing his glass of wine on the table, letting his eyes linger on the red ring it caused. ‘You’re beautiful in every way. You’re a complex, fierce woman, but at the same time, you seem so fragile, so delicate… It makes me want to protect you, to put my arms around you and show you how beautiful the world can be. I want to take you out for expensive, luxurious dinners, you wearing a dress I bought for you; I want to see you smile at me every morning, your eyes still tired so that I can carry you out of bed into the shower; I want to kiss you every second of the day…’, Levi paused, his eyes now locked on the stain the red wine had left on your lips. ‘But most of all, I want to pull you even closer when we cuddle at night. I want to put my hand under your shirt and discover every part of your body. I want to rob you of your sleep every night. I would give everything I have to hear your soft moans underneath me’.

You just looked at him, heart beating out of your chest. You didn’t know what to say, what to do. You wanted to tell him how badly you wanted him to make you his and his alone.

Before you could reply, you could feel Levi’s finger softly wiping the red stain from your lower lip, his nose almost touching yours. ‘I want you Y/N. I’ve wanted you to be mine since the day we met’. You could feel his digits moving from your lips to your neck, stopping when he reached your collarbone. ‘I want to feel your naked skin against mine, I want everything of you’, he slowly tugged at the collar of your shirt, pulling it down, his thumb gently caressing your breast.

Your breathing got heavier, making you sound so desperate for more.

‘I want to treat you right, to touch you right’, he stopped looking at the soft skin of your breast, eyes now locked on yours, ‘I’ve been talking a long time about what I want though, what do you want?’. ‘T-this’, you replied shyly before crashing your lips against his.

The kiss felt clumsy at first, probably because you made such an unexpected move, but Levi chuckled, gently wrapping his hand around your neck.

‘This? Got to be more specific’, he teased while taking control of the kiss, forcing you to open your mouth more. Levi wanted to taste you. He wanted to taste the red wine you’d drank, he wanted to taste the lipstick you’d reapplied when you entered the apartment, he wanted to feel the soft skin of your lips against his tongue. ‘I-I want you’, you whimpered in between kisses, trying not to melt completely under his touch. ‘You’ve got me for the rest of your life’, Levi replied, softly tightening his hand around your neck, allowing his free hand to roam underneath the shirt you were wearing.

He didn’t want to be rough with you. He didn’t want you to feel scared or threatened, but the way you moaned when he tightened his grip made clear you wanted to be touched like this.

‘I’ll ask you again’, he parted his lips from yours, softly stroking your cheek with the back of his index finger, the other hand now cupping your breast, ‘Tell me what you want kid’. ‘I-I want you to ruin me’, you said softly, voice shaking. ‘Ruin you?’, Levi chucked at your shy response, ‘Don’t play dumb!’, you frowned while placing your tiny hands on his chest, ‘I want you to fuck me, okay? Want you to claim me, mark me,… I want you to make me yours’, you said while looking at his chest, cheeks burning red.

Levi stopped his movements before standing up from the couch.

‘You trust me?’, he held out his hand for you to grab, ‘You know I would never hurt you in any way?’, his voice sounded serious all of a sudden. ‘O-of course’, you replied while slowly placing your hand in his. ‘You trust me enough to be mine for the rest of our life? Because I don’t want this to be a one-time thing’, Levi lowered his eyes, a sad smile appeared on his face, ‘I want to spoil you for the rest of my life, I want to see you waiting for me when I get home from work, want to see the world with you, grow old together. I want the whole package’, he smirked at you. ‘I already said yes’, you replied with a smile, softly pinching his hand. ‘Okay princess’, Levi replied before picking you up from the couch, and carrying you into his bedroom. ‘This night’s all about you’, he placed a kiss on your cheek before laying you down on the bed.

You could see Levi pulling off his shirt, a sight you’d seen so many times now, but it never failed to mesmerize you.

Levi crawled onto the bed, his lips hovering over you, ‘I’ll make you feel good, I promise’, he whispered before placing open-mouthed kisses on your neck, sometimes pausing to softly bite into your soft skin, leaving marks behind. ‘L-levi’, you softly moaned his name, hands desperately tugging in his hair. ‘Don’t worry princess, I’ll give you more’, his hands swiftly pulled up your shirt. You could feel your nipples harden when they were exposed to the cold air of his bedroom. ‘Fuck’, Levi widened his eyes, a smile on his face, ‘You’re fucking perfect, even prettier than I imagined’, he cupped your breasts before placing sloppy kisses on them, leaving a trail of his saliva behind. ‘M-more’, you whimpered, nails now digging into his shoulders, ‘So impatient’, he hummed before placing his knees in between your legs, forcing them open. ‘We have the entire night Y/N, I’m going to take my time before I’ll have you calling out my name’. ‘L-levi?’, you asked, barely whispering. ‘Hm? Is something wrong? Want me to stop?’, he quickly stopped touching you, cupping your cheeks instead. You could see the worry in his eyes, afraid he’d crossed a line. You smiled, eyes scanning his face before you softly cupped his cheeks, ‘I love you, Levi’.

Levi widened his eyes. He’d never told someone he loved them before, but he loved you. He loved you more than anything.

‘I love you too, always have’, he lowered his eyes, knowing he let his guard down for the first time in his life. You pulled him in for a soft kiss, ‘Don’t worry Levi, I’m yours’.

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starlight-writer · 1 year

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FIRST OF ALL: SHIT THAT HURT. why do I do this to myself

Are you happy? Are you proud??? CONGRATULATIONS I GUESS, YOU DID IT AGAIN. this fic hit close to home in its own sadistic way, and I couldn't thank you enough for taking my request. it was perfect, angsty and heartbreaking, no sugarcoating. perfect

On another note, I just wanted to add to something you mentioned about a second part. if it's alright, and sorry in advance since I'm kind of shit at explaining myself clearly as seen in my last ask, I wanted to correct what I really meant by "reader protecting them", as in they are maybe in a similar situation as Marc, Steven and Jake. Perhaps they're also a vigilante caught up in some deep shit and feel the boys deserve better than dealing with them

It's good either way though, just wanted to clarify that. Reader protecting themselves from the moon knight business is a good prompt too, so whatever you chose to go with is great

Once again, thank you

👍

Divorce pt. 3

A/n: Thank you for clarifying! I'll be happy to write reader as a mercenary/physically dangerous person! Also IM SO FUCKING SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS PLEASE FORGIVE ME I LOVE YOUR ASKS BUT TIME JUST GOT AWAY FROM ME SO FAST ;-; (p.p.s I hope this isn't too short and I hope this is what you wanted, you deserve so much compensation :'))

Warnings: talk of violence, talk of depression, talk of guilt, angst, no chance of a happy ending

Gn! reader Masterlist

Steven

He's more likely to believe you as soon as you explain why you left

Only because this isn't something he could see someone lying about

Being a mercenary or someone that lives in violence? That's not something you should lie about

Especially when Marc is seething in the corner of his mind, just begging for a reason to front and yell at you

So he hears you out, makes you a cup of tea

(He'll never admit it, but he still catches himself making an extra cuppa for you late at night)

Steven will end up crying for you

He's mad, of course, but he suddenly feels guilty

Did he make you feel like you couldn't talk to him about this kind of stuff?

Did something he do make you think he would hate you for this?

Steven didn't know, but offered you the utmost comfort

He couldn't stop himself, he just fell back into his old ways and hadn't even realized until Marc yelled at him for it

He kinda pulls away really awkwardly before asking you every single question he could about why you left

And he understands

He doesn't want to, he wants to be mad, he wants to yell and scream and throw things

But he doesn't

And he knows he shouldn't

So he sits patiently and lets you speak

Afterwards, he asks you to leave with a promise of keeping in contact

He's thought of the possibility of your presence getting him in trouble or danger, but he doesn't really care

He's used to danger, at this point he doesn't even mind it

And it's worth it for you

Everything is worth it for you

Marc

Believes you 100%

Not

He thinks you're just trying to save yourself and get rid of any guilt you might have

He doesn't believe for a millisecond, but he lets you explain

You peaked his interest

Really he just wanted to see how far you would take this 'lie'

After that, he starts believing you more and more

Because he knows what life is like being in constant danger and only people who have experienced it can really explain it in such detail

He's the one to be more forgiving about the situation since he did the same thing to Layla

Actually the only one to let you stay at the apartment to fully explain

He's still hurt and feels somewhat responsible, but understands and is more willing to talk with you more about the entire situation

Which surprised Steven and Jake

But they didn't really have room to speak, Marc was the host and it was his decision to hear you out

No matter how angry they were, Steven and Jake still somewhat respected the schedule they were given to front

So by proxy, they heard your explanation and Marc's input on the situation

Marc understood the stress you were under and he wanted to help

He couldn't marry you again, not right now

He couldn't even think about dating you sgain

But he was willing to talk and help you out of the dangerous life you lived

He still loved you no matter what and he'd do anything for you

Even after all the pain he's been in that you, whether you meant to or not, caused

Jake

He doesn't believe you

Not just because he's upset at you, but because how could you hide something like that from him?

He's the protector of the system, the one that sees everything

He's been behind the scenes watching everything constantly and you managed to hide something this big from him?

He feels like a failure

He feels like he shouldn't be a protector anymore

He feels hurt and betrayed and inferior

He will forcibly remove you from the apartment or leave the street he bumped into you on

It takes him days, weeks, months to be able to look at himself again

For a while, he doesn't blame you for the pain you caused, he blames himself

He should've seen this coming

He should've known

He should've seen it

But he didn't and he got Steven, Marc, and himself hurt because of it

After a while, Jake realizes everything you were saying sounded a whole lot like his life before he started fronting more

And now he feels guilty

Gives you a call (because he never deleted your number, he just couldn't) and makes you explain everything in full detail

And then he's silently crying as he realizes you divorced him for him

He still didn't forgive you, but he was coming around

He never stopped loving you and he wanted desperately for some reason to get back together

Because whether or not he'd admit it, he was dying without you

Probably the first one to fully forgive you and ask to be in a relationship again

He needs you like he needs air and he's not above admitting that he's sort of possessive of you

(They all are)

#marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #marc spector #marvel #jake lockley #moon knight #steven grant #jake lockley x gn!reader #marc spector x gn!reader #steven grant x gn!reader

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bitchkay · 2 years

Text

I wrote this last night/this morning and edited it when I woke up cus it was like gibberish cus I was half asleep

its 3:54 am but I just thought of court of darkness headcanons and my brain won't let me think of anything else😁😁

I keep having thoughts of like modern au court of darkness for some reason but like I am not complaining what so ever so-

bartender Fenn.

I mean it's literally canon-

don't tell me it's not perfect for him

Fenn has megan knees.

you heard me

I feel like Rio would work at Burger King- but like he'd love it there

I mean employee discount purr

But like fr he'd love interacting with customers at the counter, Rio's a good cook he'd be good in the kitchen, everyone just loves him cus he's just a bundle of joy

If Rio's not working, the place is dead

Old ladies love him, young women ask for his number, and he gives it to them cus he doesn't know they wanna fuck him-

Fenn would love tinder LMFAOOO

I can see Roy being a model OUUUU😋😋

y'all can't deny bro's beautiful

bro's gorgeous

I feel like he has the charisma, definitely photogenic, has a good sense of style, a pretty face

Roy simply deserves to be on the cover of a magazine.

Dia sells weed, Lynt smokes weed, I don't know why but that makes sense in my head

weed dealer Dia and pot head Lynt scratches some kind of fucked up itch in my brain and I love it

Lance also smokes but I'm pretty sure that's also canon

Dia hates mushrooms on pizza.

Toa loves pixie stix.

Rio reminds me of Ryuzo somewhat, from dreamy days in west Tokyo, but only in terms of naivety (however Ryu is simply charmingly stupid), so for obvious reasons I can also see Rio working in a vegetable market

Guy bullies people on Tiktok.

I really can't see Lynt really having a job but yk bills need to be paid, so he probably has some on campus job at his college, not only for convenience but so he doesn't have to go two places in one day lol

Guy sleeps full nude in the summer but with socks on.

Knight and Thoma play video games together but they're way to fucking competitive, if something in the room doesn't break did they really play video games

Fenn drunkenly hooked up with his college professor but didn't know it was his college professor until he went to school the next day and was like "... wait a damn minute--"

Guy has THE BIGGEST ass, bbl who?? it's all natural baby😋😋

Rio goes to the gym.

that's it.

the thought of Rio working out makes me drool

meow😳✨✨

why ain't this man in my draws yet-

I don't like caramel but Toa loves caramel, for that reason I say there is a video of us throwing hands on world star. Guy recorded cus I was winning.

Rio would love Waffle House.

Knight would literally LIVE in cat cafes HOLY SHIT-

If you went to a cat cafe you'll see Knight so often you'd think he worked there💀💀

Nah he just wont leave

"Sir, please go home.. we have to close" "5 more minutes... "

I wanna have a smoke sesh with Lance, I wanna get high with him and just chill, probably fuck, then order a pizza and watch old reruns on the TV.. yes

Lynt would also be nice to smoke with, we'd just vibe together, talk about random bullshit, pass the blunt back and forth while cuddling on my couch, also probably fuck, then sleep off the high

yea.

I mean its pretty canon Sherry can't fucking cook, so the existence of instant is her saving grace

Roy tried to teach her to make rice but it just wasn't working out so he ended up buying her a rice cooker

Roy spoils Sherry rotten with the kitchen appliances, but will not stop because the smile on her face when he got her a hot pink Keurig machine is the most priceless reward

Sherry got into modeling because of Roy, because shes short she started with clothing ads but sooner or later she was sharing magazines with her brother, literal sibling goals😤😤

OMG I JUST GOT INSPIRATION, IMMA DRAW THE PRINCES ON MAGAZINE COVERS IM GONNA CRY HOLD UP-

STOP IM GETTING MY DRAWING TABLET-

The way I actually wanna make the magazine covers happen but my tablet is a task and a half to draw on being as it's old and the home button's fucked up, my laptop is also fucked up, I swear it's on its last legs 90% of the time, my laptops a literal dinosaur, and my phone has no storage so I can't even draw on here, which leaves paper but I hate drawing in my sketch book--

I GATHERED REFERENCES AND EVERYTHING-

I'm gonna cry.

#court of darkness #fenn luxure #rio voleri #roy invidia #dia akedia #lynt akedia #lance ira #toa qelsum #guy avari #cod knight #cod thoma #sherry invidia #headcanons #court of darkness headcanons #voltage inc

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morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy · 10 months

Text

Right here is a link to a Wikipedia article with links and numbers to resources for help! If you or anyone around you needs help of any kind, do NOT be afraid to get it! You can do this!

The story below has the following trigger warnings! ⚠️Suicide, self harm, mental health⚠️

Hi! My name's Parker, and I've tried to commit suicide multiple times.

I know you're thinking that's a morbid and socially awkward way to introduce myself, but hey, it's a big part of my story and who I am. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot more to a person than just their mental health, but a lot of the time, these things tend not to get discussed, period. Let alone when we are trying to get to know somebody, so for today, I hope we can put that stigma aside, and I can tell you a little about my journey.

I have ADHD, and depression is something I have lived with as far back as I can remember.

By the time I was twenty, I had tried to kill myself three times, I had a family that didn't talk to me, I'd cut my arms up so much my forearms were more scar than skin, my heart was crushed by someone I thought was the love of my life, and I was hooked on anything I could get my grubby little hands on.

I think about that shit a lot, the things I did, and the decisions I made.

I think about the person I was and the person I am today.

They're wildly different people, but now that I'm able to see it from another side, I realize one can't exist without the other.

I would've never learned the things I did, and I couldn't have grown from it.

It was hell, and I had to claw those life lessons from my struggle like a damn wolverine, but hey, I survived! Despite my best efforts...

Yeah, I know that's not funny, but if you don't laugh sometimes, you'll cry, and I'm sick of crying about it.

I hated who I was, and I had a hard time coping with everything I did, not just the suicide attempts but everything.

Though I finally realized I couldn't change the past, but I could change the future.

I could get help, and I could make sure none of that ever happened again.

I can't change the past, and it aches to know that somewhere in space and time, that kid is still struggling, and I wish I could talk to him...

I don't know what I'd say to him because I know he wouldn't listen and probably just lift my wallet.

But I still want to hug him, tell him that really it's all going to be okay, that he needs to let go of a lot of shit and learn to love himself, then I'd tell him to get rid of that asshole's shitty T-shirt.

The pain you feel, it's not for nothing, but it's also not forever. You'll learn from this, and in a way you least expect it, it will come full circle.

Ease up on the drugs, stop cutting, and get yourself some help.

I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do! And believe it or not, one day you're going to have a lot of people that want and need you around.

This shit doesn't get any easier, but it does get better. You just need to let it.

So tell that jackass his band ain't shit, tell your parents they're full of shit, and tell your siblings you love them even though they all suck, hang onto your friends, don't be so scared, let yourself feel, and listen to yourself once in a while! You know yourself better than you think, and you know what you need, and guess what! The answer isn't always coke!

I can't help that kid anymore, but I can help the one's reading this, and if in this moment you feel hopeless, do me, a stranger on the internet, a favor.

Take a deep breath, know that it gets better, and reach out to somebody! You deserve help, you deserve love, and you deserve to be alive!

With love,

- Parker W.

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lesbicerealkiller · 1 year

Text

this summer is killing me.

which i'm fine with the fact that something is killing me but i hate summer. nothing leaves me more destroyed (except my own thoughts). i wear 6 t-shirts a day and can't find any place where i can rest in peace.

i have to travel almost every day and i'm starting to panic about germs and everything that many people have ever touched, because, think how many people have grabbed something that you are grabbing right now in public and what have they touched before?! people are very dirty and no matter how much you clean you will never be free of germs.

this summer is killing me, sometimes i have low blood pressure and i'm going to pass out and then i have to eat something i don't want because otherwise i'll be in front of a lot of unconscious people. i eat a lot because i don't feel full and i instantly think of everything i shouldn't have eaten, but i can't, because it was what i wanted.

people make me nervous, i think a lot about how they see me and if they talk about me behind my back, i don't like it. i smoke a lot and i don't even like the taste. i stopped smoking weed like i used to because i don't like feeling numb, because i constantly feel that way without even consuming anything.

i don't want people to think i'm a good person if they do and i hate when they let me think i'm bad at doing certain things just because they don't confirm it to me, although i know that if they told me, i would be destroyed. because i know i'm not good at anything.

i don't like being spoken to in a bad tone because my head takes me to a stage where i have to relive all the moments in which i witnessed being yelled at with contempt and i had to make a lot of noise to shut them up.

i'm old and i cry every time i remember that i keep getting older. and i have responsibilities, but they shouldn't let me have them!

this summer is killing me.

every day i get off work, i want to go in another direction than home and go far away until i find a high bridge and jump from there. but i think about my cats and my dog and my grandparents and i go back to my house. but i'm not even there or here or with me.

i don't like the look of people, they leave me a lot to think about. i prefer that thousands of animals look at me, that if they judge me, that's fine, they have the right to do so.

i was never further from me than every current day of my life, if someone asks me who the hell i am, i'll probably tell some bullshit or maybe say i don't know.

i don't think i'm someone, i'm tired of looking for a way to be. i have no purpose, i just want a lot of material things, probably if i buy them later i'll tell myself why the hell i spent that money. but hey! life is one and it's too painful to deprive yourself of things you want to distract yourself from how you're disappearing.

this summer is killing me and there are a lot of people in this world every day i go out and everything is a lot.

i hate summer and i like to burn myself with unfinished cigarettes. i have to find every part of my body that isn't exposed so people don't tell me i shouldn't do that because i don't give a shit if i should or not, it's my body and i hate it, so i can do whatever i want.

sometimes i want to hug some close people but they scare me.

my mother says that she listens to me and sees me as fine, but i don't know how to tell her in the least ridiculous way that every day i am closer to finding a way to not think about anyone else and throw myself off that bridge so high and far away so no one knows what happened to me.

i'll listen to what they say if they know where i ended up, probably some of them had pretty high expectations for me. but please, i've always been a living waste!

and sometimes i feel sorry for my little 8 year old self who used to dream a lot and plan for her future.

i'm sorry honey, we'll never be who we wanted, you're too weak and everything affects you. you were never someone who deserved a good future, because you didn't come here to be happy or to be somebody.

this summer is killing you and of all the promises you made to yourself you have never kept any. because you are a waste.

but i want my pets to have a better life and lots of things i can spoil them with so i will spend all the money on them, they deserve it because no one has more trust in me than them.

this summer is killing me and i'm not asking for help. but promise me my pets will have a good life.

this is a nightmare, this is a fucking nightmare!

there are a lot of people who know me and i hate that they can think about what i should have done and said or show how much i hurt them. i'm sorry it's not an excuse but it's all my fault because i hate myself and i do not want to accept that there are people who think that i am worthy of their affection. i'm not! so fuck me!

#shitpost #depressing shit #text post #words words words

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the-silver-peahen-residence · 2 years

Note

😰 for a glimpse at one of my muse's nightmares! (for Hanoka)

Hanoka was sleeping in her bed but she turns to the left, hugging the pillow. She seems to be dreaming but she shows tears in her eyes while shaking a little. What is her dreams????

Heavy breathing was heard from Hanoka as she was running down a cold dark path away from some hands that was reaching for her. She rubs her arms trying to stay warm as she ran down the black path. She didn't know where it was leading her but she was scared just staying in one place. "What is this place? Why is it so cold here???" she whispered running but she stops seeing a wall.

"Shit!!" she looks behind her seeing something chasing her that seems like hands reaching to grab her. Hanoka quickly runs to the right only to get grabbed by two hands. She shakes from the grip feeling how cold their touch was. Her water blue eyes shut tight trying to break free but heard more whispering.

'Filthy child...why won't you die already??'

'Stay away from us..your nothing but a monster....'

'You don't deserve to live...'

She struggles again trying to get free but they slam her against the wall while one was starting to keep her immobilized. It was really cold that she felt colder.

"C..co..cold....w..why is their touch so cold?" she whispered but winces again.

'This is all your fault....why were you even born???'

She looks around trying to figure out where these voices were coming from and from who. It made her more scared still trying to do something. She struggles breaking free to run off again but something else grabs her to make her get held down seeing it was shadowed people that was holding her.

"Let go of me!!!!" she calls out but the voices only came louder hurting her ears.

'Filthy liar!'

'Worthless!!!'

'Your the reason he killed her!! Your the reason she's dead!!'

"St..stop..I didn't..I didn't let her die...." said whispered but closed her eyes only to open it seeing her siblings standing there but they had dead expression on their faces. Hanoka reaches for them but they didn't move.

"M..Miyu...Kiyo..Help...help me please.." she reaches to them but they didn't move.

'You let mom die...why didn't you do anything? You just sat there being scared...your nothing but a coward..' Miyuki speaks in a cold tone that makes Hanoka look shocked.

"M..miyuki???"

'Your a horrible twin sister. I wish lord Osamu did kill you then maybe I wouldn't have to worry about you being alive. Why won't you die already, you were never my twin...'

"....K..Kiyoshi??"

'You let her die..you let mother die because of your birth. Now you should join her in death.....'

"You t..two don't mean that! You don't mean that right!? Kiyoshi!! Miyuki!!!" she calls out but saw everything get darker and colder, feeling nothing till something grabs her ankles to start pulling her into the ground as she was struggling only feeling more wrap around her body tight. She screams for one gripping her throat.

'Please die little sister..your not worth saving.' Miyuki whispered.

'Die..just fucking die already Hanoka!!! I never want to see your damn face ever again. You let our family break apart so now you will suffer for it..' Kiyoshi whispers next.

"I didn't want to lose m..mama, I didn't mean for her to die because of me! Please!! I'm sorry.....I'm sorry I got mom killed.."

'Die already..just die.....' the two said slowly seeing more holding and keeping her still hurting her.

"Stop!! Let me go!! Let me go!!" she struggles crying afraid but heard more shouting and screaming from the darkness around her.

'Such a shame. Someone as filthy as you being able to even be allowed to breath and look where it got you...your weak and you being here caused you to lose more didn't it? Your scared of being alone again...you don't deserve to be happy....'

"Leave me a..alone! Please....Please, why won't you leave me alone!!!"

'We won't leave you alone, forbidden child. You are scared because of what you done. Just leave the world and let this darkness suffocate you. Just leave and never come back. Die and join the others....'

"Stop it!!! Let me go!!" she was being pulled down but saw Osamu above her who was looking down at her. She was crying as he pets her head but slowly shows a purple knife as it was held near her.

'I said said, taboo child, you should have never been born...now..please accept your faith and die already..' he said seeing the shadows swallowing her up.

"Let me go...let me go! Stop!! Please someone help!! SOMEONE HELP ME!! NOOOOO!!!"

#IC #silver roses #ask answered #muse answered #curious peahen and peacock #hanoka saima #silver rose peahen/gentle rose #Meme: Nightmares

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hanazuma-inactive · 3 years

Text

safe in his arms, (nsfw) hawks x reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!)

warnings: nothing much other than a cumming inside it's pretty soft sex

a/n: this request is for the 🥴anon :) i always love to write hawks requests and this concept is sweet. sorry if this was too much comfort and not enough nsfw? i got carried away a little lol

_____

keigo first proposed to you after a mission. he knelt down and said the 4 magic words. the civilians and his peers all shouting "marry him!". what reason do you have not to? he was the man of your dreams since highschool and now he's on his knees, asking you to marry him. you said yes of course and happy tears streamed down both of your faces.

what more could you ask for, you've been married to a lovely husband for 3 years and the relationship between you two was stable. no one was losing interest and everyday was filled with joy and happiness.

even though you had this perfect environment around you, the tears from your eyes would not stop falling back. being a hero is going to be hard and you knew that. things go wrong all the time. villains escape, people lose their family, some lose their lives.

today was another day in patrol where the villain escaped because of your incompetence. everyone around you said it was fine of course but you sure as hell knew it wasn't. compared to someone like hawks, the #2 hero who you were married to, you're basically nothing. you had no recognition and the only reason your name was actually merely recognized was because of your husband.

you went home after, feeling shameful that you couldn't do your job well enough. you walked in the kitchen to see keigo wearing an apron preparing dinner for you.

"hey baby, you're back! i was just cooking up your favorite food. work was hectic today right? want me to prepare a bath for you?"

seeing hawks still caring so much for you despite the fact that you didn't even do the bare minimum of what you were supposed to. praising you, cooking for you, and being considerate. you felt like you didn't deserve this but because of your wonderful husband you still did. emotions were all over the place and before you knew it your eyes felt watery. tears started to drip down and you didn't even realize it. hawks noticed and immediately put the pan down and rushed over to you.

"woah woah, y/n, what's wrong? did something happen at work today?"

you closed your eyes and fell into keigo's chest. whimpers and inconsistent hics replacing your words. hawks let out a sigh and patted your back, attempting to make you more calm. he always knew what to do, whether it was to comfort you or make you smile.

"it's alright baby...i'm here, just let it out." keigo said as he stroked your hair. he waited till the hiccing stop and tilted up your head so that your eyes met his. he also wrapped his hands around your waist as yours stayed on his chest.

"wanna tell me what's wrong? you know you can tell me anything." hawks said in a soothing tone.

you nodded your head and hawks flew to the couch with you in his arms.

"alright sweetheart, i'm all ears, what's up?"

you explained what happened today at work and how pressured you felt trying to live up to your hero name being married to the number 2 hero and all so the others won't talk down of hawks because of you. he listened patiently and made sure to hold you close to him during all of this. he took a deep breath and let out a sigh as he prepared to comfort you again.

"baby, first of all, please don't feel bad about letting the villain escape. this has nothing to do with your own capabilities, every hero in this world accidently let's villains escape sometimes, even me, even endeavor! i also never want you to worry about what other people say about me "because of you". all those pieces of shits that say that can fuck right off. i don't give a single shit about what they say, i asked you to marry me because i love you, not for some stupid hero business so in no world do you need to "live up to my name" alright?"

if you had more tears you would probably cry them out but luckily you ran out from before. you thanked hawks after feeling better and rested your head on his neck.

"you know you look cuter than usual today baby bird~" he said with a smirk on his face.

"keigo! you perv! you said while giggling.

your husband leaned in to kiss into snuggle into you. he nibbled your neck and hummed a tune into your ears. as much as you just want to cuddle and relax for the rest of the night with him, you couldn't deny the fact that hawks was looking incredibly attractive today. he always looked handsome but something about him wearing a t-shirt and the grey sweatpants that showed his bulge turned you on so much.

you found your eyes trailing to his crotch area naturally and god was it irresistible.

"where are your eyes going there sweetheart~?"

you were embarrassed that keigo found your intentions but you also wanted it, so you didn't mind.

"sorry, you looked too good, i couldn't help myself."

keigo gave you a smirk and got the message. he took your tongue to his and made out with you. it wasn't the messy type that you guys usually had. this time his touch was filled with care. his hands were wandering around your stomach and your waist, try to get you as comfortable as possible. after the kiss broke, you suggest going into the bedroom instead so the couch won't get dirty.

he picked you up with his strong arms and walked into the bedroom. his hands not leaving you the entire time. keigo took off your shirt and moved down to your nipples after kissing you some more. he knows you loved being teased like this.

keigo had you riled up in seconds. making your hard cock leak precum and you whimpering under your breath.

"k-keigo...please put it in."

"my pleasure baby." keigo said as he took off his pants to reveal the huge bulge he had.

he let out his cock and applied some lube on there before he slowly entered. he made sure to move slowly today, knowing you were tired and not in the mood for rough sex. despite hawks' slow thrusts you still felt like heaven.

your groans became more consistent and both of you knew that each other were getting close. you held in hawks for a kiss and he delivered. while kissing, hawks sped up his thrusts and stroked you cock gently. you came not long after hawks started to tend to your cock and he followed up with that by cumming inside you.

you guys stayed in that position for a bit, panting, trying to catch your breathes.

"you felt so good baby you know that?" hawks said while cupping your face.

you returned his compliment with a gentle kiss on the lips as he yet again snuggled into you.

"let's clean now alright? i'm sure you'll love the dinner i made for you today."

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bubblesuga · 3 years

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Sweetest Devotion

summary: In which Kim Seokjin falls for a long time friend genre: fluff, idol!au W/C: 1,622 A/N: I don't know I was feeling fluffy for Seokjin all day so here's this

This is a problem.

Seokjin, certified World Wide Handsome and member of the biggest band on the entire planet, has determined that he likes you way more than he should.

You joined BigHit in 2017 (shortly after your 18th birthday) as a stylist and certified annoying little sister to the Bangtan members. Seokjin has always patted your head, scolded you when you teased another member too hard, and gave you advice on various life changing events taking place in your early 20s.

Yet here you are, age 22 and incredibly gorgeous. Dressed in sweats and a T-Shirt far too big for your body, you're sat in the living room of Seokjin's suave house, and Seokjin is struggling to keep his mind trained on the conversation.

When you called earlier, asking if he could be an ear to listen to, Seokjin immediately invited you over. Listening to you rant and rave about things isn't new, he usually opens a bottle of wine and turns on a good movie to play in the background while you talk. He enjoys having you over, hearing you giggle, helping you when you're sad... In fact, the thought of someone else being your shoulder to cry on has made him increasingly jealous as time goes on.

Before, you were just the fresh faced stylist ready to take on the world. Now, you're one of Seokjin's best friends. A woman who fits in his arms incredibly well, who's interests and intelligence hooked him the moment he got to know you. You're you, and he loves that.

"I don't know," you continue, drawing Seokjin back to the conversation, "I just feel like sometimes I'm more fetishized than actually liked. Like, yeah, bigger women do find happy relationships but I seem to only draw in creeps who get off because I'm considered 'thick' or whatever they call it these days."

Seokjin swallows. He's never even thought about the differences between a thinner woman and a thicker woman in dating. He has never had a preference, he's been with many body types and has always found you attractive. Sure, as you got older you developed more curves, and Seokjin noticed the way the back up dancers would eye you sometimes, but he didn't think that made you look like more of an object to men and less like a person.

"Well," Seokjin pulls himself off of his sofa and sits beside you on the faux fur carpet, "I think you're gorgeous, Miss _____."

"Yeah, yeah," you wave him off, causing a twinge of hurt to cross his chest, but he hides it as well as he can, "I'm gorgeous and deserve someone who loves me for me... blah blah blah. I've heard the rant from you before, and Yoongi, and Namjoon," you trail off for a moment, your eyes trained on the carpet in front of you. Seokjin raises an eyebrow, patiently waiting for you to continue.

"...anyway, I don't know how to get people to see beyond the curves. Like, sure I'm sexy," Seokjin has to hold back his words of agreement because this is definitely not the time to confess his attraction towards you, "but god damn it I want someone who likes to lay on the couch and watch movies all night. Someone who's ass I can kick in video games, someone who doesn't mind me when I just want a kiss on the cheek. But no, it's all about sex."

Seokjin smiles sadly, his mind reeling. He wants to be that person for you.

Holy shit.

HE WANTS TO BE THAT PERSON FOR YOU.

Wrapping an arm around your waist. His hand travels down your thigh until it reaches your knee, his long fingers drawing soft circles.

Gaining confidence he had never had before, he leans forward and presses a small, gentle kiss to your cheek.

Your face heats almost immediately, your head turning to lock eye's with Seokjin. A soft giggle falls from your mouth, "What was that for?"

"You said you wanted a kiss on the cheek." Seokjin shrugs, looking away with a smirk. He can feel his ears heating up, his heart beat thudding. This is insane. He's known you for years yet for the first time in his life he feels like his chest could burst, simply from the way your smile looks while looking at him. Oh, who is he kidding. This isn't the first night he's realized he likes you. His dreamed about holding you in his arms, stroking his thumb across your knuckles while you tell him another one of your ridiculous stories.

Slowly, you move to rest your head on his shoulder, "Thank you for always being there for me."

Please, he thinks, please don't write me off as just being there for you. Please catch the signs, for the love of god.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," your voice is soft, your breath fanning over his neck. He feels a small sense of pride, but it's diminished as you continue, "and everyone else. You all have become my family. You're going to make your future wife immensely happy."

Fucking hell.

"I have to pee."

Seokjin moves you off, rather rushed. He hears you hit the floor with a small 'oof!' but he doesn't turn back around to look at you. Instead, his feet carry him down the hall and into his bathroom, where he struggles to control his breathing. He doesn't want to cry, but he's not sure what he wants to do. For the first time, he showed you his interest and you wrote him off. You will always see him as the male friend figure who gives advice and ruffles your hair. Partly that was his fault, he guesses, because he pushed that stereotype harshly in an attempt to hide his interest in you.

At the same time, he feels he couldn't have been more obvious.

A few moments pass and a knock is sounded at the door, "That's an awful quiet pee, sir."

Seokjin cocks his head to the side and chuckles. He can't help it when it's you.

"I've mastered the Ninja Pee." he calls out, turning on the water and splashing his face.

He opens the door and looks down to meet your eyes. They're wide, your eyebrows raised in question, "Now tell me what that was really about."

"I told you," he fakes a smile, "Ninja Pee."

"Seokjin."

He rolls his eyes, "Sometimes I feel like you don't open your eyes to what's right in front of you."

"What the fuck does that even mean?" your words are accusatory but your tone is curious.

"_____," he breathes, "I literally just gave you what you wanted. I practically laid out a steak for a fucking bear and the bear sniffed it and walked towards a cucumber."

"Maybe the bear is a vegetarian."

"I swear to god-"

"Okay, okay!" you cut him off, pushing his shoulder, "I don't know what you want me to say, I thought you were just going along with the story."

His mouth goes in a pin straight line, and he points to you, "Bear," he points to himself, "Steak," he gestures wildly around the hallway, "Cucumber?!"

"What are you saying, Seokjin?! Use your words, man!"

"Ah!" he yells, "Let me be the one to kiss your cheek!"

Suddenly, you're calm. Your smile turns devilish, and your eyes darken slightly, "Thank you, that's what I wanted."

You turn on your heel, skipping down the hallway and back towards the living room. Seokjin stands in the doorway of the bathroom, slightly dumbfounded. His jaw has fallen agape and he stares at the framed picture on the wall of him and his band mates receiving their first MAMA award.

Without closing his mouth, he walks to the living room, "What the fuck was that?"

"Well I was waiting for you to just spit the words out but you had to pull a Namjoon and get all metaphorical with it," you're scrolling through Netflix now, "as if I didn't know you had a thing for me."

Seokjin tilts his head, "You were playing me?"

"Mhm," you hum, "hardcore, too. You should have seen your face when I didn't immediately fall into your little trap. Nah, if you're gonna date me I'm going to have to make you work for it a little harder."

"You little shit." Seokjin realizes how he should have caught on sooner. He thinks back to the way your breathing changed with his after the contact on your knee, how you blushed after the kiss.

Rolling your eyes, you through the blanket off of your legs and tap the spot beside you, "Get your ass over here and cuddle."

Seokjin rushes over to you, tackling you so your back is flat on the couch, his lips attacking your face. He kisses your cheeks, your forehead, the tip of your nose, and he pauses.

Your giggling seizes, eyeing Seokjin's lips, "I'd like to taste my steak now."

He laughs, before leaning down and pressing a hard kiss to your lips. Your hands fly to the back of his neck, holding him as closely to you as possible. He doesn't taste of steak, as much as the thought makes you laugh. No, he tastes of white wine laced with sweet fruit, his tongue cool against yours but it sends a comforting chill down your spine.

When he pulls away, his lips are bright red and slightly swollen. You gnaw at your bottom lip, reaching up to push a stray hair from his face.

"I'm not letting you win at Mario Kart." He speaks, unable to contain the smile on his face.

Your eyes turn to slits, "We'll see about that, Kim Seokjin."

#kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x reader fluff #seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader fluff #bts x reader #bts x reader fluff #bts fluff #seokjin fluff #jin x reader #jin x reader fluff

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qslovebot · 2 years

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Peter's Rescue: Peter Maximoff

Req: Peter Maximoff is my comfort character so could you do something where the reader is feeling especially low and Peter just makes them feel comfortable and tells them how much he loves them, basically like a hurt/comfort thing.

Warnings: mentions of sadness/crying

You had been crying. There was no reason for it, but you had been sitting here the entire day on the couch just feeling different waves of emotion and you were alone to do so, but so out of it you didn't think to call anyone to help you straighten out a bit. You just stayed in your room, staring at the empty wall.

Hours must have passed since you last made those realizations. The one that you were sad and the other that you weren't doing anything about it. Night had fallen and you wiped the last of the fresh tears from your face. Your eyelashes were wet and your nose was pink.

There was a knock on the door. Fuck, who was it? You debated answering it at the risk it might be someone judgemental or something, but a second later, there was a voice. "It's Peter and I stole a shit-ton of twinkies!" He called through the door. It was your friend Peter.

Peter was always lively, he always cared about you no matter what you did. You could commit arson and he would ask you if you got burned. He would also probably help you commit arson if you asked him to. You sighed, but called back, "It's open," and he entered in only a few seconds.

He had his arms full of twinkie boxes and waddled into your room to set them all down on the coffee table. It was now that he noticed your state. Wrapped in a blanket, in a loose t-shirt, your hair tied up, your face being the way it was, and the nearby tissue box. "You've been crying." He stated, eyebrows furrowing. "Do you need water?" He didn't even pry...

"I think so-" he was to the sink and back in seconds with a glass of water. "Thank you." You drank it.

"Have you eaten?" He questioned, looking around to see any evidence of real food. You gestured to the soup bowl that sat in front of you from when you took a five-minute break from all of the emotion. He fished into one of the boxes and tossed you a twinkie, sat down next to you on the couch and opened his own, kicking his shoes perfectly onto the doormat. "Do you want to talk about it? I heard that helps and I'm pretty good at listening. Also, also, also, I move a lot when I sit but that's just me moving." He smiled.

You cracked a small smile. "I don't know what's going on, but I just think I needed to give myself the time to feel things. I didn't go into work or class today, I just... I needed to let things out?"

"You deserve the time to," he agreed. "I once skipped class to run a bunch of miles to a rainforest just so I could scream. It was not fun, I saw a snake and the spiders are as big as dinner plates...sorry."

He was apologizing for going off on a tangent, "No, don't be sorry you're helping." You smiled, leaning against his knee. You only stayed there a second because he moved so that you could lean against him. He made sure you were comfortable. "I was just sad. You should tell me more about your trip." You bit into your twinkie and Peter started telling the whole story. You didn't hear the end, though, because you fell asleep right there on his shoulder.

He was glad he made you feel better and carefully moved your hair from your face and slunk away, catching your head with a pillow. He took blankets from your bed and covered you up, then he lay next to you on the floor and let himself fall too. You fell asleep knowing you were going to be okay and it was because of Peter's simple rescue.

#hurtcomfort #cute #sweet #short #blurb #peter maximoff #peter #xmen #dofp #evan peters #peter maximoff fluff #fluff

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charliemorningstar-the-introvert · 2 years

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Why do people insist on telling trans, nonbinary and genderqueer people that they don't believe in gender identity, or like we're some sort of mythical creatures that don't exist? I mean, we are right here, we're just trying to live our best, true, authentic lives, and people insist on trying to blow out our candles like we don't deserve the same rights unless we conform to their beliefs, go through fucking conversion therapy or some shit, and then "with the right therapist, and from talking to anyone who has detransitioned after regrets of gender reaffirming surgeries, you'll realize that you've been brainwashed and you'll be cured!"

Like, how the fuck can other people in the LGBTQIA+ community just dismiss us like they didn't have to deal with rejection and pain because they're different to heterosexual people? How could anyone be so goddamned cruel to people, invalidate them, talk down to them as if they're small children, and then continue to speak for cisgendered women's rights, as if trans women don't exist or shouldn't exist?

As a trans man, I know I have no right to be upset because my experiences are different, I don't have the sexism and transphobic remarks thrown at me, but I'm disgusted with all of this "LGB's matter, bit the T isn't real" shit. I've never been more ashamed to be in the LGBTQIA+ community before, but right now, I am.

Not only that, I also feel like I don't deserve to live, that I'm some kind of freak because my gender identity doesn't match my assigned gender at birth... if I didn't have people who'd miss me, or my cat who relies on me, I wouldn't bother sticking around, because honestly, I'm fucking tired of all of it.

You don't want to believe we exist, you don't want to self reflect and see the pain you're causing, fine. But when people start invalidating you for struggling and hurting, don't come crying to the people you're hurting, because you wouldn't deserve our sympathy or support. Oh yeah, that's because you can "manage your gender dysphoria through therapy, and you're happy to detransition because it doesn't exist".

I was mad, but now, now I'm just tired and don't want any of it anymore. So congratulations, you just hurt someone who has nothing but love for everyone else. You've burned out my candle and made me feel like a freak. You ought to be really proud of yourself, so here, have a fucking cookie and be on your merry way. 🍪

#transphobia kills #I'm tired of it all #trans/nonbinary/genderqueer people are people too #terfs your transphobia is showing #terfs just keep knocking us down and don't even care #radfem #radical feminism is gross when they use it as an excuse to be transphobic pieces of garbage

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lovelytarou · 3 years

Text

just let me adore you

— in which dabi wanted to buy you clothes and see you in only the best cloths there is in the world, the only problem is how you see yourself and he will do anything to prove how much he adores you

pairing: dabi x female!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint, suggestive

tags: hurt/comfort??, the reader's insecurities (nothing too detailed), negative thoughts, i advise not to read this if you don't want any of that

a/n: i'm so excited to post this that i just can't wait another day!!! also pls give feedback i spent all my love and time in this instead of schoolworks sksksk but really, i hope y'all like this and i'm sorry if i made dabi too soft in this, the fandom needs more soft dabi every once in a while. sorry if i'm putting my inner dabi fuckr in this fic 🤧

“what are you wearing?” dabi asked one night after you emerged from the shower.

you saw him lounging in your shared bedroom, waiting for you as he was scrolling on his phone when you arrived from work. you quickly excused yourself and took a shower with a promise of cuddling with him afterwards.

snaking your arms on his neck, you gave a peck on his cheek and grinned.

“it's one of my old shirts, why?” you frowned, looking down at your clothes.

dabi wrapped his arm on your waist, holding you closer to his body as you sit on his lap. his other hand reached up to your face and tucked your still damp hair behind your ear.

“it looks like shit,” he bluntly admitted while looking in your eyes fondly.

that earned an offended gasp from you as you attempted to wiggle out of his grip but to no avail. dabi may not look like it, but he sure is one muscular guy.

“well, i'm sorry if i don't have such expensive tastes when it comes to casual clothing!” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. the action itself made dabi look down on your breasts and bit his lip.

if only you can see how he sees you right now.

“exactly. you only deserve to wear the finest silk,” his hand travels down your exposed thighs, slightly lifting up the oversized shirt in the process.

“the most exquisite lace that shows off your boobs and your delicious curves,” his voice dropped into a sultry tone, his wandering hands squeezing your sides making you smack him playfully on his chest.

“stop it!” you hid your face on his neck, his jaw resting on the top of your head.

“what? it's true.” he chuckles, kissing your hair.

he brought his index finger under your chin so you can meet his eyes. there is nothing but love and adoration swimming in those beautiful teal irises.

“i love seeing you in fancy clothes, but...” his warm breath that faintly smelled of smoke and mint that makes your head spin fanned your face, his lips ghosting over yours in a gentle dance.

as if the world turned upside down, you're now on your back as dabi towered over you, “you're even gorgeous when naked,”

his lips sealed over yours again and again. that night, he threw your old shirt where it could not be seen anymore and you were more than thankful for it as you spent the entire night making love.

the next few days, dabi made it his mission to buy (read: steal) clothes for you. in the morning after hours of rearranging your guts, dabi basically threw away all of your clothes in the trash and made you wear his shirts. you almost wringed his neck because of that but you let it slide when he told you that he'd replace them with better ones.

back at the league of villains hideout, dabi eyed all of the people gathered around the room. shigaraki's currently holding a meeting for their next attack and here he is, imagining you in the most beautiful outfit he'd get for you.

his teal eyes landed on the back of himiko's blonde head.

heaving a heavy sigh, he kicked toga's seat.

“hey, nutjob” he called lowly, not wanting to get the others' attention.

she scoffed at the nickname before turning her body towards him.

“what is it, staples? do you need something?” she cocked an eyebrow at him, playing with her knife in boredom.

“yeah. you like...cute things, right?” dabi inwardly cringed at his choice of words. never ever in his life did he imagine he would say such things to someone and worst of all, he needed her help.

toga chuckled lightly at him, noticing the small blush on dabi's face.

“oh? what's this all of a sudden? are you taking a liking to me now?” toga's smirk widened upon seeing the latter's growing annoyance.

“in your dreams,” dabi grumbled, “i needed help with something.”

pinching the bridge of his nose, dabi closed his eyes and cursed at himself. after this conversation, his colleague would definitely find something to tease him for. but then again, he's willing to look like a fool if it's for you.

after the boring meeting that lasted for approximately four hours, dabi and toga exited the hideout to raid a few malls.

“i don't understand why you didn't just choose the clothes yourself?” toga hummed, examining a cute top with cat prints on it.

she placed it over her front and modeled it in the mirror before her, posing this way and that. from the corner of her eye, she sees dabi leaning against the wall, arms crossed with a bored look on his face.

“don't you think i wouldn't ask for your help if i can do that?” dabi rolled his eyes in exhaustion, this is taking too much time. the two of them have been in twenty shops already and raided five malls in only half a day.

toga poked her tongue at him and clutched the cute top along with the other clothing. she pushed them all into dabi's arms, making him drop most of it on the floor.

she suddenly stopped and gasped as they exited the store, the neon pink lights reflecting on her eyes as she squealed in delight.

without warning, toga dragged dabi into the lingerie store.

upon entering, the cashier immediately cowered under the counter as the two villains surveyed the place. the person was about to reach for the telephone when toga stabbed the glass counter near their hand.

“don't even think about it,” she grinned down at them menacingly.

dabi ignored them as he looked around. it's filled with many lingeries that he doesn't know which one to look at first. there is no doubt that anyone would love to see their lover dressed in those promiscuous outfits.

his thoughts immediately wandered over to you, dressed in black lace set, writhing under him and making pretty noises just for him.

before his lewd thoughts could wander, he called toga over and nodded his head at the item of clothing he's been eyeing.

“i want that one.”

the first thing you noticed upon coming home was that it's empty. the mugs that was left in the sink that morning was still where you last saw them, the unfolded laundry is still in the basket, and the television in the living room is off.

dabi must not be home yet.

you let a small frown form on your face. you had expected to come home to your beloved boyfriend and welcome you with open arms and kisses.

today wasn't the best of days, to say the least. the series of bad things after another drove you mad and all you wanted was to go home and be wrapped in your lover's hug as if the two of you are the only people in the world that exists.

taking your shoes off, you padded towards your shared bedroom and slowly took off your work clothes and sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh.

rubbing your arms, you caught sight of yourself in the body length mirror at the corner.

your gaze lingered for a long while, eyeing every expanse of skin exposed. you chewed on your lip anxiously as you made your way to the mirror.

your mind was clouded with negative thoughts and jabs at yourself. this is the reason why you hated being alone, you are left with nothing but hate at yourself and there's nobody to pull you out of it. you are suffering by yourself and having to push through it.

slowly, you unwrapped your arms from your sides and stared at the body in front of you. staring from head to toe, listing each thing that you find a flaw, an insecurity, an imperfection.

what did dabi see in you?

you don't have the most attractive body that rivalled any pro-hero's, or a killer charisma, a beautiful face that could take anyone's breath away, your skin isn't as clear as the ones the models in tv and magazines have, you have a lot of scars from childhood and growing up, there are uneven skin color, a wound, and your hair isn't as pretty as other girls'.

so, why? why did dabi stayed? why did he, a handsome, powerful, strong, smart man, asked you to be his girlfriend when he could have anyone he wanted in the world that is much better than you?

tears streamed down your face as your body was wracked with sobs. slowly sliding down to the floor, you clutched your chest as you felt an excruciating agony. repeating over and over in your head why dabi doesn't love you.

through your tears and cry of pain, you didn't hear the door open and close. nor the sound of your boyfriend's voice calling to you or the door to the bedroom opening and the sound of numerous shopping bags falling to the ground as dabi takes hurried steps towards you, who is reduced to a ball of sadness on the floor.

“baby? what's wrong? why are you crying?” he didn't get too close to you at first, expecting you might not want any sort of contact at your moment of vulnerability and decided to ask you instead.

you're still trembling as small sobs leave your lips.

you gasped, shocked to hear that he's home as you quickly sat up and sloppily wiped your tears with your hands and arms.

“d-dabi! you're home!” you sniffled, doing your best to look alright although it's futile since he has already seen you crying your eyes out.

your boyfriend can only look at you with concern filling his eyes. he hovered his hand in midair between the two of you as he looked at your eyes intently. you answered him wordlessly by leaning towards his touch.

it evoked a sigh of relief from your lips as you felt his charred and normal skin, clutching his arm like your life depended on it. and maybe at that moment, it did.

he's relieved to know that he's not who you were upset about, but it didn't lessen his worry.

dabi leaned down to kiss your temple, his lips lingering there as he brought your face close to his chest.

“tell me what's got my baby so upset,” he mumbled against the skin. hearing the deep rumble of his voice against his chest calmed you down a bit.

you closed your eyes as you exhaled, surrounding yourself with dabi. his scent, his touch, the feeling of his heart beating against your ear, his lulling voice pulling you out of your waning thoughts.

“it's...stupid,” you laughed breathily, shaking your head.

“nothing about you is stupid, angel.” he immediately rebutted, pinching your waist.

you hid your face in his chest, not wanting him to see you like this. vulnerable and weak.

“i-i was just having a bad day, and all i want was to come home to you and...” you paused, your thoughts suddenly coming back to you. you fought a sob that threatened to spill from your lips, biting it down.

“i don't understand what you see in me,” you whispered, voice cracking at the end.

he shushed you softly, stroking your hair and rubbing your lower back in circles.

never in his life had he seen you so down. you seemed like the type of person who always got their shit together. like nothing wrong ever happens in their life. he'll look at you and all he sees is this amazing woman who loves to smile and bring happiness in his miserable life.

he admits that he may not be the best boyfriend in the world, but damn it if he didn't even make you happy every second of every day of your life like you did in his.

seeing you so upset makes him want to go out there and find whatever that will make you smile again.

“i'm sorry i'm not home to comfort you, baby. but i'm here now, okay? i don't like seeing you cry, pretty girl.” he muttered, facing your head up to him as he pecked your tears away.

you softly giggled at the nickname.

“you wanna know what i saw in you?” he asked, and you nodded your head at him.

his lips fluttered over your forehead, giving you a kiss there, “you're the most amazing person i've ever met–” another kiss on your nose, “the most beautiful, sweet, caring–” a kiss on your eyelids, the apples of your cheeks, “you're so fucking hot and kind that i didn't know what i did in my fucked up life to deserve you.”

he cupped both of your cheeks in his hands and made you look into his eyes. there's still the same adoration and love in them, it made your heart swell with many emotions just for him. only he can make your heart beat wildly inside your chest.

not letting him say another word, you surged forward and crashed your lips to his in a deep, passionate kiss. a few tears escaped, but this time it's because of happiness and the overwhelming love he have for you.

you were both panting when you pulled away, grinning stupidly as your foreheads touch, staring lovingly into each other's eyes.

“i love you, d'you know that?” you breathed out, pecking his lips once more.

“yeah, i know.” dabi smirked, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up. your legs wrapped around his slim waist in return.

he threw the both of you on the bed, you on his lap as he stared up at you with a lovestruck look in his eyes.

“say it back!” you whined, pouting playfully at him.

he pecked your lips this time and tugged softly on your bottom lip, making you moan.

slowly, you felt him lower you down on the mattress as he placed open-mouthed kisses from your jaw to your neck. the fire ignited inside your core as you gripped his biceps, the way his lips are doing things to you, you can't help but just lay there accept all he had to offer.

“mmm, i love you, too. but i wanted to show you how much instead,” he whispered lowly in your ear before biting at your sweet spot and creating a mark for everyone to see.

his lips traveled lower to where you needed him the most, gripping his hair as you sang beautiful songs for him.

“y/n! are you done, yet?” dabi asked for the umpteenth time that day as he waited for you to come out of your shared bedroom.

you both decided to go on a date and it's been two hours since you told him that you're ‘almost done’. he's been waiting patiently for you, knowing that you'd come out of that room and take his breath away. hell, you can wear the dirtiest rags and he'd still think you're the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

“just one sec!” you called out from inside.

he couldn't help but groan in annoyance, his patience wearing thin.

he glanced at the time on his phone.

how long are you gonna be in there for?

“babe, i swear if you don't come out of there after five minutes, i'll leave without y-”

he didn't get to finish his words as you came out of the bedroom wearing only the skimpiest, thinnest, and revealing lingerie that left nothing to imagination.

he found himself swallowing his words as his gaze hungrily drank your figure up and down, focusing on every detail, every skin exposed to his eyes.

you decided to tease him, wearing only the lingerie he had ‘bought’ you a few days ago. you were surprised when he did admit he had bought the clothes for you. when asked when he got the money from, he only said that he stole it from some ‘abusive bastard's credit card’.

you shyly standing there wearing a sexy outfit did nothing to his raging problem. within seconds, he stood in front of you, staring at you like you were some sort of goddess that graced the earth and he'd happily kiss the ground you walk on.

“did you...like it?” you hesitantly asked, looking up at him as you played with the ribbons of the lace hugging your body.

his pupils dilated, eyes darkening with want and he picked you up as you squealed in surprise, carrying you back to the bedroom.

“that's it, the date can wait another day.”

#dabi x reader #dabi fanfic #bnha dabi #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #bnha #dabi fluff #brO this already has 98 notes??? whAT #100+ notes??? thanks for showing ur appreciation i'm 🤧😭#💫.dabi #tarou writes 🌹#💫. touya todoroki

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