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fantastic-bby · 3 years

Text

SKZ as animal hybrid boyfriends

Pairing: Reader x Members

Word count: 2.9k

Genre: Fluff | Headcanon | Animal Hybrid/Shifter AU | Boyfriend AU

Warnings: Very brief mention of spiders

Masterlist

Chan

A husky hybrid

Has the CUTEST pair of gray and white ears that stick out of the top of his head

Also has the most gorgeous pair of pale blue eyes that glow in the dark

He has a fluffy white tail that wags like crazy whenever he’s excited because he doesn’t know how to stop it from showing

He’s also the sweetest boyfriend in. The. WORLD!

Always asks how you’re doing

Makes sure your not missing any meals and that you’re always hydrated

Every morning, he wakes you up with cute good morning texts and he always tries to send you good night texts sometimes forgets because he gets so caught up in work

He makes up for it tho

Sends flowers to your place whenever he forgets uwu

Chan’s the perfect boyfriend

The only problem is that you’re allergic to dogs

He didn’t realise why you always seemed to sneezy and stuffy whenever you would come over to his place

Until you told him

And his reaction makes you feel like you just told him the most horrific thing in the world

To him it is!!!!

Because he’s the reason that you’ve been having allergic reactions around him!!

He starts vacuuming his place more often to keep any fur away and makes sure to keep the area super clean so that you’re clear from anything that could cause a reaction

He also starts lint rolling and vacuuming his clothes before giving them to you so that you don’t take any of his fur home unless you ask him to leave his fur

Chan gets confused whenever you tell him that you don’t want him to vacuum or wash his hoodies before giving them to you

But you like them because every time you see the strands of gray and white fur sticking out of his hoodie, it reminds you of him

So instead,

Chan starts buying a crap ton of allergy meds

Puts them in every corner of his house

In the bathroom

The kitchen

The living room

The bedroom

Literally everywhere just in case you get a super bad reaction

That way he’s always prepared for anything

Minho

A maine coon hybrid

The most luscious fur ever known to man

His cat ears are so fluffy and always well groomed

He has this beautiful fluffy orange tail that he’s gotten pretty good at hiding his feelings with

Usually a hybrid’s animal features would probably give away their emotions, but Minho learned to control his ears and tails really well

It’s just that his ears are really sensitive and they flick around every few seconds whenever he’s in a crowded place

He has a pair of yellow eyes that are constantly in the shape of slits simply because he wants to intimidate everyone around him

Also always has his claws out because they intimidate strangers

Wouldn’t tell anyone, but Minho lets his pupils dilate when he’s alone with you (´∀｀)♡

He also likes to tease you a lot but you know he’s just joking because if he was serious, his tail wouldn’t be so related

You try not to tell him because then he’ll start working harder to hide his tail swishes

Is the most precious yet teasing boyfriend out there

He’ll make a joke about you eating a lot of ice cream whenever you’re sad, but he’ll always have your favourite ice cream in the freezer

If you complain about some kind of muscle pain, Min would call you weak but then also come home with muscle relief patches that he’ll stick to you himself

Minho likes to shift into cat form if you’re stressed because then it means that he wouldn’t really disturb you a lot

His footsteps are way quieter when he’s in cat form as compared to human form

So if you’re stressed or tired and you ask him to give you time

Minho would shift and hide in one of the cat towers he bought for himself until he hears you coming out of the bedroom

The moment he hears the sound of the bedroom door opening, he’ll lift his head and peek out from the top

If you sit on the floor right in front of the tower, Minho will scurry off of the tower to sit in your lap to

But if you don’t even look at the tower and you instead go to the kitchen, he’ll wait a bit longer to give you more time

Changbin

Yk I wanna say he’d be some cursed Dwaekki hybrid the skzoo dwaekki haunts me in my sleep

But I genuinely feel like he’d be something really threatening like a wild animal

So if Chan’s a husky and Minho’s a maine coon

I’m gonna throw Changbin in as a grizzly bear because he’s a tank of a man and I love him for that

His ears are dark brown and rounded, poking out from the top of his head

His eyes are super dark brown and sometimes you can’t even tell if you’re able to see the white in his eyes bcs his pupils are just that big

His hands have these huge black claws that could claw someone apart if he wanted to

Also has a cute brown tail that he often hides underneath his clothes because it’s small enough for him to sit on

He gives THE BEST CUDDLESSSS!!!!!

Sometimes shifts into bear form just to cuddle you because it’s cold and relying on the heater might make it too warm

So Binnie likes to use his own fur to warm you up if he notices you shivering

Also would not hesitate to bear his teeth at anyone who tries to hurt you

Changbin doesn’t really tell anyone this

But one of his proudest bear traits is his ability to vocalise like a bear

Which means that whenever he feels the need to protect you or whoever’s around him

He will growl like a bear

And it’s terrifying

You didn’t even know that Changbin could roar until one night when a stranger wouldn't take your ‘no’ as an answer and your boyfriend almost lost his mind

He pulled you behind him and grabbed the collar of their shirt and just roared at them

The stranger being a hybrid of a smaller bear species immediately scrambled off

But Changbin also immediately switches back into sweet, cuddly boyfriend the moment he turns back to you <3

Hyunjin

A sphynx hybrid

Very dramatic

Very loud

He has pink cat ears sticking out of the top of his head with a little black splotch on his left ear

He also has this naked pink tail that sticks out from underneath his shirt

Every minor inconvenience and Hyunjin’s meowing and whining to you about it and you think it’s funny every time he does

Like the time he misplaced his sock and was crying all over your shared home looking for it until he found it underneath the bed

His claws are retractable, so he usually hides them because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone on accident unlike Minho

He’s VERY cuddly both in human form and cat form

Hyunjin likes to do the ‘kneading the dough’ thing whenever you’re cuddling

And ends up leaving holes in your clothes because his claws would accidentally grab onto the fabric

Would also feel really bad afterwards because now he’s ruined your shirt

You reassure him that it’s fine

But Hyunjin’s dramatic also kinda wants an excuse to go shopping with you

So he cries about it and it leads to him dragging you to the mall so that he can buy you a new one

Ends up getting distracted at a cat cafe because he’s made conversation with one of the cats there

And he’s basically talking to them like he’s a middle aged wine mom talking about their weird husbands

You have to remind him what the goal is

But he’s so immersed in the conversation with the orange tabby that you can only watch in amusement

Hyunjin’s talking to it in English while the cat nods with it’s tail swishing every time he asks it a question, mewling every once in a while as a response

You watch with a smile on your face, chin resting against the palm of your hand as you listen

You can only gather that Hyunjin’s telling the cat about why you’re at the mall

And the cat turns to you with a bored expression on its face before meowing

“She says good luck on finding a new shirt”

You nod and reach out to pet the cat’s head as thanks

You and Hyunjin leave after a while

And soon, the trip to get one shirt turns into a shared shopping spree

Jisung

Kinda obvious but he’s a squirrel hybrid

He has a pair of rounded, light brown ears on the top of his head

A bushy light brown tail that bumps into everything whenever he’s in cramped spaces

And the CUTEST pair of brown eyes EVERRRRR

His squirrel trait is where he gets the habit of stuffing food into his cheeks whenever he eats

Ji’s really good at climbing

So he has this long ass piece of wood that he keeps in the living room of his home so that he can still climb something in squirrel form if he can’t go outside

He also has tiny black claws that he uses mainly for practicality when he's in human form

So stuff like cutting into plastic, through strings and to open mail

He just slides his finger across the top of the envelope and boom

Jisung’s quite clumsy

It doesn’t help that he has this huge, bushy tail behind him

He bumps you with it a lot and he’s always so apologetic over it

But it’s fine because it’s his tail and it’s soft and cute and it’s part of Jisung UwU

There were a couple of times where you would wake up and his tail would be tickling your sides

So you’d wake up giggling

And it would wake him up too

He’d turn around and immediately wrap his arms around your waist to cuddle into you

You love playing with his ears

Jisung’s really responsive whenever you pet his squirrel features

So if you touch his tail in public

He’s jolting forward like AHHH

And you like to gently rub his ears whenever you’re cuddling

Jisung usually ends up cuddling into you more because he really likes it whenever you play with his ears

He has a habit of making those squirrel squeaks whenever he’s uncomfortable

So in public, if he feels like he’s overwhelmed or wants to leave

He’ll cling onto your arm and start squeaking softly so that only you’re able to hear

And it’s an easy way for you to know that he wants to leave without him actually telling you

Felix

Horned owl hybrid

He has two sets of white and brown feathers that poke out from the top of his head and curls to the back

He does, however, have talons at his fingertips that he doesn’t really like because it gets caught on a lot of things

Has feathers running down his arms, but can’t actually fly in human form

His eyes are this beautiful amber colour

He also has a lot of hanging stuff in his house that he likes to fly back and forth to whenever he shifts into owl form

Absolutely loves doing the head spinning trick because you freaked out the first time you saw him do it as a human

Felix also has really light footsteps

So sometimes you don’t even hear him coming into a room and suddenly he’s beside you

Which scares you sometimes

Overall, Felix is just unintentionally scary.

Buuuut

Because he has really good eyesight at night

And because he’s nocturnal

He sleeps in the day

Which means that all of his work is done at night while you’re asleep

His hearing is intense which means that he could hear the smallest pin dropping in the kitchen from the bedroom

So when he hears something strange coming from the kitchen

He’s immediately crawling out of bed and peeking out of the bedroom door

That’s when he sees a spider crawling out from behind the fridge

A huge spider

Now, Felix does NOT like spiders

But he knows that if you wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink, then you’re going to be freaked out by too

But he should be able to toss it out the window in owl form

So Felix pops open one of the windows and shifts

His silent flying and sharp night vision make it a quick mission that’s executed without much hassle

He manages to grab the spider with his talons and just tosses it straight out of the window

By the time Felix has returned to the bedroom

You’ve woken up because you realised he wasn’t beside you anymore

So he climbs back into bed and lets you hold onto him while you fall back asleep

Seungmin

Labrador hybrid

Has a pair of golden ears flopping over the top of his head

Also has a golden tail that he usually hides because if he gets over excited then it’ll wag all over the place and might bump into things

Is a relatively quiet person and is also a quiet dog

He doesn’t say or bark that much

But you’ve come to learn how to read his body language

Because his posture both in human form and dog form speak his thoughts

Like whenever he’s standing tall then you’ll figure that Minnie’s probably uncomfortable or feels threatened

As quiet as he is

He’s extremely attentive to your needs as well

Seungmin’s able to catch your body language way quicker than you are at reading his

Which means that the moment you look uncomfortable, he’s immediately moving to stand beside you with an arm wrapped around you

Think of it as that TikTok trend that’s like ‘using my scary dog privilege’

In this case

Seungmin’s more than happy to be the scary dog that lets you walk around alone

He’d bark and bite at anything or anyone who would try to hurt you

Even in human form, he’d growl as a warning to other animal hybrids that are around you

Whenever you’re out in public, Seungmin tries to stay by your side just in case anything happens

But when he has to part from you to talk to another group of your friends

He keeps you in his line of sight

He’d always angle himself in conversations so that the person he’s talking to has their back facing you so that he’s able to see you

And when a cat hybrid suddenly approaches you

Seungmin’s more on the attentive side but he hasn’t gone into protective mode because you don’t look uncomfortable

But then your frame starts to shrink

He immediately changes his posture

Which scares the people around him because suddenly, Seungmin looks so scary

He waits a moment longer and the moment you start looking around the room for him, he’s shoved his drink into the hands of Hyunjin so that he can make his way over to you

He slings his arm over your shoulder and glares at the cat hybrid who’s now extremely intimidated by the presence of the labrador hybrid

Seungmin leans close to the cat and growls at them until they run off

He stays with you for the rest of the night and the way he stays in protective mode makes you feel safe

Until you get home and Seungmin’s back to this ball of cuddle fluff that you absolutely love (｡♥‿♥｡)

Jeongin

Fennec fox hybrid

Has a big pair of white fluffy ears that poke out of his head

Has a fluffy white tail that blends into a more golden colour that’s long enough to poke out from underneath his shirt

He has super insane hearing

Even if he has headphones in, he can hear the outside world

Bodes well for him because whenever you walk into his apartment, he’ll walk out immediately to greet you

He never actually feels hot or warm because his body heat radiates off of his ears

Is always cold in human form

In fox form, his fur insulates his body instead so he doesn’t feel much of a difference

Has a habit of not drinking for hours because he can get stuck in his fox form

Also has a habit of chewing on your desk plants if he deems them edible

Unfortunately for you, that means you’ll come home to your beautiful plant babies half eaten and munched away because your fox boyfriend wanted a snack

To solve this problem, you filled the fridge with berries and vegetables for whenever he feels like snacking

But sometimes he goes overboard and he pretty much eats everything he can find when he forgets to eat for a while

He’s a fox hybrid that doesn’t know how to shift on command

Usually he has this big urge to shift but he’ll be stuck in one form for a while before being able to switch

He doesn’t know any other fox hybrids

So Jeongin has to learn to control his animalistic instincts with the help of you!

His human partner

Lucky for the both of you

You have a friend who’s a red fox hybrid

She’s not a fennec fox

But she still shares similar instincts to Jeongin because they’re both fox hybrids

So now Jeongin comes to you with the biggest smile on his face whenever he’s accomplished something, gushing about how Fox Noona taught him how to shift on command

He’ll show you

And you watch as he shifts into this tiny little fennec fox with a big smile on his snout (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

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ynscrazylife · 3 years

Note

I was thinking maybe a oneshot where B!D gets poisoned by Cadmus?

Sisterly Instincts

Summary: Y/N is Kryptonian who landed on Earth a few years after Kara. When CADMUS kidnaps her, they inject her with a poison made out of their version of Kryptonite, which is very harmful to her.

Authors Note: Thank you for requesting!

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

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PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/mundodeseriess

Image ID: Alex and Kara sitting together. Alex has her eyes closed, head on Kara’s shoulder, arm wrapped around her, and is looking upset. Kara is wearing her glasses and is looking down, crying. End ID.

“Alex, have you heard from Y/N yet today?” Kara asked as she entered the DEO, a slight frown on her face still evident from the morning.

Alex shook her head no. “Not since last night, why?” She asked, coming down the stairs and joining her sister in her walk.

Kara shrugged it off. “She just didn’t send me her usual good morning text . . . She’s probably fine, right?” The blonde answered, now feeling silly as she voiced the worry that had been slowly eating at her.

Alex’s warm chuckle calmed her almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s nothing. We’ll see her soon as she’s coming into the DEO anyway,” she reasoned, assuming their younger sister had just overslept.

They reached the main room where J’onn and the other DEO agents sat at their desks and immediately the Danvers’ sisters got to work.

However, when it was ten minutes past the time Y/N was supposed to arrive, Alex decided to give her a call, biting her lip. She discreetly pressed her phone to her ear, turning away so she wouldn’t cause her sister unnecessary worry.

It ringed.

And ringed.

“Hey! You’ve reached Y/N Danvers. Sorry I couldn’t answer! Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.” Alex cursed quietly when it rang so long it went to voicemail and huffed to clear her mind and steady herself.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Alex. I’m sure you just overslept or are rushing to work,” she said, pausing to chuckle when the image of her younger sister running around the city popped into her mind, “Just give me a call when you get this. Love you, bye!”

Despite the small worry entering the pit of her stomach, Alex reminded herself that Y/N being late and missing a phone wasn’t too uncommon, and she resumed her work.

"Alex?” Kara said, and Alex looked up from her computer to see her sister gesturing at the clock with a nod. The brunette looked over, and felt that pit sink lower when she saw that 20 minutes had passed. Getting no message from Y/N, Alex and Kara shared a look, coming to a silent decision.

“We're gonna go by Y/N’s apartment and check on her,” Alex informed J’onn as she stood up from her chair and grabbed her coat. She couldn't keep herself from remembering that Y/N should be here right now, she didn't live far away.

Kara nodded, following her older sister, and the two women left the DEO, neither of them discussing their worries in fear of distressing the other one. Great minds do think alike, though, and that’s why they both internally came to the conclusion that if nothing was wrong and they found Y/N sleeping late, they were gonna be pissed (however they hoped that was what they found instead of the scary alternatives brewing and stirring in their minds).

When they reached Y/N’s apartment, Kara knocked on the door. They waited almost a minute and when the door didn't open and they didn’t hear anything, Alex fished the key Y/N had given to her out of her pocket and unlocked the door.

Stepping inside, the women were prepared to search the house like they were on a mission, when a paper on the floor, having been slipped under the door, caught their attention. Sharing a look, Kara grabbed the paper and unfolded it. It read:

“Hello, Supergirl,

I won’t lie. I don’t know your ‘secret identity’. However, I was able to find out Y/S/N’s, so it’s only a matter of time before I find yours, too. Come to these coordinates: [pretend there’s random coordinates] by 12:00 alone and allow us to experiment and test on you. If you fail to do that, I won’t give Y/N the cure to the Kryptonite poison that’s in her system and I’ll reveal her identity to the world.

-- CADMUS.”

For a couple moments, Kara and Alex stood, glued to the spot. Thoughts and emotions washed over their bodies: concern for their sister, anger at CADMUS, and an utter helplessness since they didn’t know what to do.

It was a little past 10:00 now and when the two got back to the DEO, they made a plan with J’onn. He’d disguise himself as Kara and would do as the letter said and they’d have DEO agents - including Alex and Kara - stationed around the building with cloaking devices, which would make them invisible to CADMUS and their tech. Winn would hack into CADMUS’ tech and after Y/N was given the cure, the DEO agents would act.

At 10:30, the DEO agents were stationed around the base, invisible, and J’onn had walked into the base itself, disguised as Kara. He noticed the Kryptonite around the room, there to weaken Kara, so he put on an act: pretending that it was hurting him. He barley refrained from rushing over to Y/N when he saw the woman who was like a daughter to him siting on a chair, weak and only half-conscious, sweat shining on her face with Lillian Luthor standing beside her.

“Good, you came,” Lillian said with a sadistic smile.

“Yes. Now give Y/S/N the cure,” J’onn said, putting on his best Supergirl face.

The corners of Lillian’s mouth turned into a smirk and she walked over to another chair a few feet away, which had Kryptonite restraints. “Sit,” she said calmly, although the way she stood, her hands delicately placed on the chair, brought power to the lonely word.

J’onn complied, frowning as he walked over to the chair and sat down, letting Lillian put the restraints on his wrists and ankles that she thought would weaken him. For extra effect, J’onn sucked in a breath and faked pain.

Lillian smugly turned around and walked back to Y/N, who didn’t seem to realize what was going on. The older woman gestured to one of her minions and they promptly injected a serum into Y/N’s neck, making the youngest Danvers’ gasp just the slightest before her eyes fluttered close.

“The antidote is taking its affect in her system,” Lillian informed J’onn before turning back to her minion. “Take the girl outside. She can find her way back.”

The man nodded and picked Y/N up, slinging her over his shoulder and walked out. The second J’onn heard a smash and knew that his team had acted, he gave Lillian no time to be on alert before he ripped off the restraints and knocked all of the CADMUS agents out.

. . . . . . . . .

Alex and Kara had been standing outside, listening to Lillian and J’onn’s interaction through their earpieces. The women were both racked with worry over their little sister and when they saw the man carrying her, it took everything in them both to wait until he carelessly dropped her on the floor. When he did, Kara revealed herself and knocking him unconscious into a wall. Alex then revealed herself as well, hearing J’onn fighting, and ran to Y/N while the rest of the DEO agents went inside to erase CADMUS’ memory of Y/N’s identity and to make arrests.

“Y/N, Y/N! Come on, wake up,” Alex said, slightly panicked as she gently rolled Y/N from where she was laying on her side to be on her back. Kara, after making sure the guy was unconscious, sped over.

Kara knitted her brown together and drew her lips into a line, silently gathering her sister into her arms. Alex glanced up at her, tears in her eyes, for she knew Kara was only silent when she was very worried.

“I’ll meet you back at the DEO,” Kara said quietly, her tone almost emotionless, before lifting off and flying into the air. Alex swallowed and took a breath, getting to her feet.

. . . . . . . . .

As she flew through the air, Kara battled to keep distracting thoughts about the clouds and the breeze away, as she knew she had to focus on her unconscious sister. Y/N was the priority. Once she landed at the DEO, she immediately headed to the med bay, where doctors took over and Kara informed him that Y/N had supposedly been given the antidote.

After almost ten minutes of Kara pacing just outside the door and Winn doing his best to comfort her, the doctors informed them that the antidote was indeed in Y/N’s system and it was fighting off the poison. They didn’t know when she would wake up but when she did, she would need to rest a lot as she’d be weak. They were also unsure if CADMUS had done anything else to her, so she’d need to stay at the DEO overnight if she didn’t wake up soon.

The doctors allowed Kara to see her so the blonde sat by her sister’s side, holding her hand until Alex burst in, looking out-of-breath.

“How is she?” Alex asked, sitting on Y/N’s other side and taking her free hand.

Kara told her what the doctors said and they collectively let out a breath, relieved that she was going to be alright. They stayed with Y/N for another hour, silent except for the occasional comment, when Y/N started blinking her eyes open.

The agent and the superhero both sat up, patiently waiting for Y/N to wake up and adjust herself.

“Alex? Kara?” Y/N croaked out, looking at her sisters in a haze of confusion.

Both women smiled and let out happy tears, helping her to sit up before wrapping their arms around her. Y/N smiled, leaning her head against Kara’s neck.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Alex whispered.

“It’ll never happen again,” Kara promised.

Y/N nodded. She didn’t say anything in response, finding herself too tired after the day’s events. Kara and Alex stayed until she fell asleep and then they reluctantly left her under the watchful eye of Winn, since they needed to debrief with J’onn and prepare for when Y/N would come home.

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

Text

Day four of the Horror on Cherry Lane Challenge! Today’s prompt was Sunglasses!

Steve has a lot of secrets. Too many probably.

Most teenagers’ secrets are things like sleeping with the wrong people, smoking the cheap shit the jocks pass out, broken curfews and failing grades. He’s got all of those too, but Steve's secret runs much deeper than that.

His is the kind of secret that’d have men in black suits coming to take him away, or at this point, more than a decade after letting him go in the first place, putting a bullet in the back of his skull and calling it a day before any trouble comes up.

He’s been stuck in Hawkins all his life. Been fed the knowledge about the world off a silver spoon he didn’t ask for. His first five years of life are well forgotten to shock therapy and to the lab, where they intended to use him and the rest of the kids like him as weapons. Pawns in their big game of life.

But Steve was different. He could turn his powers off, make them undetectable by the machines they hooked him up to. They thought he was just a failure, so after so long, they wiped his brain with their very own cocktail of drugs and just let him go. Adopted him out to a middle aged dink couple who wouldn’t run their mouths about where their little bundle of joy came from as long as their pockets were lined with enough hush money, and that was that.

It didn’t take long for them to realize though, that he wasn’t as normal as they had been convinced he was. Not even knowing he was doing anything wrong, little Stevie would have outbursts, or small tantrums as momma always tried to convince everyone who told her Steve was too much for her to handle.

These weren’t just normal crying fits though. Anyone who got near him would be just as sad or scared or frustrated as he was. A single sob from that boy had enough power to crack the foundations of the family home.

Most kids when they have a cranky morning will get on the nerves of their parents, but Steve could disrupt the whole neighborhood without even realizing it. And that was his power.

They didn’t have a name for it, really. The range of what he can do is too broad, too undefined by anything else. There was a telekinetic girl, a pyrokinetic he’s pretty sure is dead now. But Steve was just special. Part of what made it so easy to go under their radar was this, but it also made him a risk.

The only reason he wasn’t immediately reported and given back to the bad men was the power this frail boy carried. It scared Ruthie and John, and they decided that they’d rather face the men at that lab again than a seven year old who could accidentally destroy them with his emotions.

So they kept him, and certainly kept their distance. They forced him into a little mold of how to behave properly and made him take pills to weaken his powers. They send him to behavioral therapy and make him act like he’s not a failed government experiment. A fact which he only learned a couple of years ago after his pills worked a little too well at messing with his memory that he forgot to take them, and memories came flooding back.

For the same reasons, Steve’s bored of being careful. Bored of following all the rules and being passive, just pretending he’s like everyone else so mommy and daddy dearest are safe. He starts getting a little riskier, testing what he can do, since this is the first time he’s ever really had control over his ability. He finds a link with other people and their emotions, something of an empathy power, but he doesn’t get far in his research, because his plan very quickly goes to shit when Billy Hargrove rolls into town.

Where to begin with Billy. That boy makes him feel all sorts of things he never even considered. The very first day he showed his unimpressed (but very impressive) face at Hawkins high, Steve cracks his windshield. Oops.

He was able to tap into that control and tone it down, but that reserve dwindled the more he’s around Billy, and from there it just spirals. Bending the basketball hoop on accident, exploding light fixtures, giving everyone in the school headaches. It gets to the point where Steve has to come to terms with the fact that he had a crush on Billy, and that he has to do something to get it back under his control before somebody gets hurt.

That and he doesn’t want to get caught now. He just got back into the swing of using his powers before Billy interrupted his calm. Going back there, or whatever else might happen, is the last thing he wants for himself.

He settles for a pair of ray bans.

It’s stupid, but when Steve was still young and all but popping his mommas brains every single time he cried, she was desperate to find a way to get him to stop. She started to notice he’d concentrate hard on one thing and another would happen, staring at a lamp until it shattered, looking into her face until her ears started to ring and pop. So she does what she can to break that subconscious focus. Puts a barrier between him and all that he’s hurting. A plastic, race car themed barrier, but it does its job, and it worked every time until they got him on meds. So now that he’s old enough not to just tear the damn things right off his face, he figures it’s worth a shot.

Because nothing had made him this emotional, this out of control since the day he found out the truth about his past. Billy is special, and the very last thing he wants is to lose control and hurt him.

He still feels like a dope walking into the school with a pair of shades on. Everyone starts to stare in that way he tries not to let remind him of the lab and the doctors standing in circles around him, prodding and waiting for a reaction. Steve thinks wearing sunglass inside is the least weird thing to happen in the halls of a highschool if Tina can come in with a perm high enough to touch the ceiling, but whatever. He’ll get over it.

The fact that nothing’s exploded from how on edge he is, mostly from wondering if his momma’s trick will work and not because of their judgement, is a very good sign.

Boldly, he decides to put it to the ultimate test, and approaches Billy.

In his head, he’s so focused on just going to talk to Billy, he has nothing planned to say to him, but he thinks he would’ve forgotten anyways, what with the lazy smile Billy flashes him when he notices him approaching.

Steve’s gaze quickly darts past Billy to check for damage to anything, the racing in his chest from just a look like that typically enough to at least crack a window. Maybe he’s not as confident about this as he thought, or maybe Billy’s just really good at making him flustered.

Doesn’t matter, because he’s at the other boys locker before he has time to process what he’s doing, “Lookin’ for somethin’ Harrington?”

“Oh, yeah, I was just checking for uh, my fans. Yeah, they follow me around everywhere, you know?” It’s bullshit, and it sounds more than dumb coming out of Steve’s mouth, but it makes Billy laugh, real low and raspy and that’s a win in his book.

“That what the little disguise is for?” Billy hums and taps his temple, clearly referring to the sun glasses perched on Steve’s nose.

“Oh these? No, I uh, wear these ‘cause of the uh.. because I wanna sleep in class and down want the teachers to know?” His answer comes as more of a question than anything, so he’s grateful when Billy seems to be more interested in his excuse than the subject at hand.

“Pfft, yeah right. I’ve heard you sleepin’ on the basketball bus. Ain’t no way your snoring doesn’t get you caught before your eyes do.”

Steve just waves him off, laughs with Billy even if his heart isn’t in it.

Billy closes his locker door, switching the subject as the scenery switches. It’s all a distraction to Steve, but he forces himself to look Billy in the face as the other boy asks him, “Seriously though dude, you okay? It ain’t like you to switch up your look. You’re not hiding anythin’ under the shades are you?”

“Nah. Just been thinking, I’m not the King because I’m not cool anymore, right? So I’m tryin’ to look a little more.. interesting.” Steve’s not a very quick or good liar, despite the military guarded secret that is himself and the little black number seven carved into his arm, and he can tell Billy doesn’t buy it.

He’s a good sport though, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders and assuring him with a little jostle, “Aw, Stevie, you're cool in my book. At least as long as you quit comin’ up with reasons not to hang with me, yeah?”

“Yeah, I- alright. I can do that. Sorry for flaking so much though. Didn’t realize until you said something.”

“S’Cool. Just meet me at the quarry after dark and it’ll make up for it.” Billy offers, obviously trying to play up the coolness neither of them apparently actually have, and Steve can’t help but call him on it. “It gets dark at like, four-thirty, five o’clock anymore?”

“Fine. Meet me at nine, pretty boy.” Billy smirks, dropping his voice to add knowingly, “And lose the shades. I think you’re much more interesting without ‘em.”

#CherryLangeChallenge #harringrove #billy x steve #steve harrington #billy hargrove #experiment! steve #ej writer #story by ej!#this is a mess but that’s okay #I have two midterms tomorrow and can’t be bothered with cleaning this up again

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wicked-mind · 3 years

Text

Betrayed: Chapter Two

Summary: Everybody thought Steve’s sister had passed away decades ago. But when you show up at the facility and try to attack Bucky, there are questions to be answered.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 4.9k

Warning: A bit of violence, talk of kidnapping and torture, talk of surgery, a hint of PTSD

Master List

All Writings Masterlist

NOTE: This story is set post Endgame, but Natasha is still alive and Steve never went back in time to be with Peggy. Although I have always been a fan of creative writing, this is my first time writing based on any movies/series. Any feedback would be appreciated (: Enjoy!

*gif not mine

CHAPTER TWO- Sunflowers and Pain

Steve made his way into the med-bay, where Clint was caring to the wound on Bucky’s neck. He had it bandaged, but still looked concerned at the wound, before turning his eyes over to Steve, “A warning that your sister is a vampire would’ve been nice.” He joked, crossing his arms as he walked towards Steve, “I was able to stitch it shut, bandage it well. But… It’s blistering. And his veins are becoming more visibly black around the wound like they’re inflamed. To me it looks like poison. Sam is trying to get Bruce to come in to take a look at it.”

Steve listened, nodding slowly. He was more concerned with talking to Bucky about what his sister had told him than the injuries. “Give us a minute.” He said to Clint, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s face who laid unconscious on the medical bed. Clint looked at Bucky, then to Steve, “I’ll be right outside with Sam.” He said, exiting through the glass doors which shut behind him.

Steve approached the bedside of Bucky, looking down at him. Bucky’s forehead wrinkled and he slowly opened his eyes, looking up to Steve, “Is Y/N okay?” He asked his friend, not even bothered by his own injuries. He was concerned with Y/N. He missed her. His heart ached from the moment he saw her standing there, covered in dirt and blood. He didn’t even care about her wounding him, just wanting to know that she was okay. It was all he ever wanted, to know that she was alright.

“She’s fine.” Steve said shortly, still looking down at Bucky who was shifting to sit up, wincing at the pain in his neck. “She’s calmed down now, sleeping. She said some things Bucky. About you.” His nostrils flared a little bit as he remembered his sister frantically pacing his room hyperventilating.

Bucky looked at Steve in confusion, noting his anger. He shook his head slightly, “What did she say? I haven’t seen her since the morning I left for deployment and we made that….” He paused, gauging Steve’s anger before continuing, “That promise.” He finished.

Steve shook his head, “So it’s true. You two did have some sort of promise.” He folded his arms, still keeping his eyes on Bucky, “She said you reached out to her after you returned home from deployment. Told her to meet you for what sounds like a date,” he studied his friend’s face for any signs he remembered this, “She said you grabbed her, kidnapped her. Took her somewhere where people played with her brain.” He said between a clenched jaw as he quoted his sister. Steve didn’t get angry often, but always had been defensive when it came to his sister, “She remembers screaming at you to help her and you turned your back on her.”

Bucky shook his head as he heard the story, “No.. no no…” He said softly, looking at Steve, “You have to believe me.. I didn’t do that.. I wouldn’t do that to anybody let alone her…” he paused, looking at his hands, before looking back to Steve wide-eyed, “They must’ve figured out she was your sister… Hydra… used me as their soldier to get her. To get to you. I didn’t know, Steve..” He promised, still shaking his head at the story. Was this true? Did he really betray Y/N and his best friend like that? Why couldn’t he remember? Bucky thought about her everyday of his deployment, excited when he got her letters. They reminded him he had something to fight for and return to. The memory of their promise, the way she sat with him during the sunrise. The one and only kiss they shared before he left. Did Hydra really make him betray the girl he was falling deeper and deeper in love with? Rage suddenly filled Bucky, realizing how real this situation was. He betrayed her. Y/N wanted him dead for it. He felt as though he deserved it after what he had done to her. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the rage that was filling inside of him, “What did they do to her?” He asked through clenched teeth.

Steve watched Bucky, seeing he was genuine about his feelings and regret, “I don’t know. All she said was they messed with her head. Then you left. I don’t know what they did to her. Maybe they did some experiments like they did to the Maximoff twins, to you.” He sighed, running his hand through his blonde hair as he starts to pace the room, “When Bruce is here, we will have him look into it more. He will probably know more about your wound and maybe be able to figure out what is going on with Y/N. Until then, just keep your distance from her. She thinks you’re a traitor.” He said, looking to Bucky and seeing that those words hurt him, “Her words, not mine.” That didn’t help Bucky feel better, only worse.

Bucky shook his head, moving to stand up from the medical bed, “No, Steve, I have to talk to her. Help her understand.” He said but was pushed back down by Steve’s hand, “Please. I can’t sit here knowing she is here without explaining.. I can’t let her think I betrayed her.” He pleaded, wincing at the pain in his neck.

“You can’t, Buck. Her emotions are everywhere. She sees you, hears your name, she snaps. And you’ve seen what can happen when she snaps.” Steve cautioned, “For now, stay away from her.”

Those words stung Bucky. How could he stay away from her? He grew up with her, and as that happened, his feelings grew also for Y/N, “Fine. I’ll stay away.. for now.” He said to Steve softly, half lost in his own thoughts. The pain he felt in his chest felt worst than his wound. He wanted to help Y/N understand that it wasn’t him, it was Hydra in his head that made him do those awful things. He wouldn’t have walked away from her screams. He would never be able to do that. He wanted to see her again. Before last night, the last memory he had of her was them together watching the sunrise, sharing their kiss. But now, the last memory he has of her is horrific. Y/N covered in filth, pale, red eyes. And she attacked him. He didn’t want to remember her like that, he couldn’t remember her like that.

Steve turned as the door opened, Sam walking in to inform them Bruce would be here soon. Steve nodded, “Let me know when Banner gets here, we need answers.” He said, “Keep an eye on him..” He gestured towards Bucky as walked passed Sam to exit the room. He had to check on Y/N, see if she was still resting. He hoped she was having comforting dreams, not nightmares of the things Hydra had put her though. He was still seething with rage after hearing what happened to his sister. He felt guilty. If he wasn’t Captain America, then his sister may have been safe. He should’ve taken more precautions to protect her from his life. He wasn’t the one that needed looking after anymore, Y/N was and he felt like he failed.

Y/N was sleeping soundly. Not a nightmare in sight, which was odd. She usually had nightmares of the experiments Hydra did on her, of the things they made her do. The worst of all nightmares though were the ones that replayed over and over of Bucky taking her and handing her over to Hydra. How he watched as they hurt her, turning and walking away from her like she was nothing to him as she screamed for his help. But right now, there wasn’t a nightmare. Just a dream of her in a field of sunflowers, smiling as she picked a bouquet. Being able to see her brother again had changed her mindset to being hopeful for a happier future. She walked in the field, gathering up only the flowers that were fully bloomed. She must’ve had five or six in her hand already. She went to pick another one, but paused. It was dripping blood off its petals. She looked at it confused, tilting her head slightly. “Y/N..” She heard, looking up across the field. But there he was. Again. Bucky. His hair in his blue eyes, staring at her. His metal arm glistened in the sunlight, the red star shown brightly in the rays. “No…” She whispered, dropping the bouquet, knowing what was coming next. He would grab her, take her to Hydra, and they would torture her. She turned to run, but as she turned he was right there in front of her. He looked down at her apologetically, “Y/N, I’m so sorry….” He grabs her arm with his metal one, making her wince. “Please don’t do this..” She whispered to him, begging, “Bucky please…” Her eyes slowly filled with tears threatening to run down her cheeks. He looked pained at the sight of her tears, but tightened his grip on her arm, starting to drag her, “Please forgive me, Y/N…. I’m so sorry…”

Y/N awakened from her dream suddenly, sitting up and yelling, “NO!” Her breathing was frantic. Wanda jumped out of her chair at the sight of Y/N finally awakening. She quickly sat on the bed next to her, placing a hand on Y/N’s back, “Shh.. Y/N, its okay. You’re safe..” Wanda said softly to her. Y/N looked at Wanda for a moment, but then quickly hurled herself into Wanda’s arms for a hug. She felt safe with Wanda, like they had an understanding of each other.

Steve entered the room, seeing Y/N huddled in Wanda’s arms. He quickly moved to the other side of the bed, “She okay? What happened?” He asked Wanda, concern in his voice.

Wanda nodded, “She’s okay, just a bad dream.” She spoke softly, running her fingers along Y/N’s hair to calm her. She had seen Y/N’s nightmare while looking into her thoughts. But she couldn’t push deep enough to figure out what happened to her in the past. She couldn’t see what had made her this way, what Hydra had done to her. Y/N reminded Wanda of herself when she came out of the experiments. She had her twin brother though, while Y/N had nobody except Hydra.

“Y/N,” Steve said softly, not wanting to alarm his sister who seemed to be in a fragile state, “We need to talk about some stuff. Are you up for it?” He gently placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder, causing her to turn out of Wanda’s hug and look at him, nodding slowly.

“Can Wanda stay?” Y/N asks softly, which Steve nodded. He understood how important it was for Y/N to have some sort of support system right now to feel safe. Y/N looked at Wanda who also nodded with an encouraging smile, before moving to sit on the bed in the center again. She brought her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them as she leaned her chin on her knees.

Steve sat down on the bed by her, figuring out a way to word what he needed to say without setting off his sister. “We need to talk about him.” He said, watching Y/N carefully for her reaction. But there wasn’t one, she just simply nodded slowly, “You bit him, do you remember? It looks like he was poisoned by your bite.” He said, waiting for validation.

“Technically, it’s venom, not poison. And he deserves the suffering it’ll bring.” Y/N corrected, her tone soft but steady. She kept staring straight ahead of her at the wall, “He will start to have hallucinations as it runs through his veins, making his insides burn, until it kills him.”

“Okay, venom, gotcha.” Steve nodded slowly, “Is there an antidote?” He knew the question may get him into some trouble with his sister. She obviously wanted Bucky to to suffer, and honestly Steve wanted him to suffer a little bit for what happened to his sister, but not like this. He knew Bucky’s brain was already torturing him enough.

Y/N looked at her brother, her eyes narrowing, “Of course there’s an antidote. But I won’t give it to him. He deserves it.” She stated again, a hint of anger in her voice that her brother would ask for an antidote to her venom. She had decades to think about how she hated him. How Bucky betrayed her. And how she believed these feelings and nightmares would go away if he was no more.

Steve shook his head, “You don’t understand, Y/N. That wasn’t him that did that to you. He wouldn’t do that to you, to me. It was Hydra. They were in his head, making him do that, just like to you. He doesn’t even remember. The last thing he remembers of you is your promise.” He said, the last words still annoying him. How could the two most important people to him keep such secret about their feelings? But deep down, he knew he already knew the truth about how they felt about each other.

Y/N looked to Wanda for validation of what her brother just said. Could he really not remember the trauma he had caused her? How he betrayed her trust, her feelings? Wanda silently nodded to what Steve was saying, knowing it was important for Y/N to know the truth, especially when Bucky’s life hung in the balance. She didn’t want that burden of murder to hang over Y/N’s head, she knew what that felt like. Y/N sat in silence for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip as she debated, her eyes returning to the wall in front of her. She had a choice here. To finally get the revenge she dreamed about since the day she was taken, or to save the man who made this life for her. She took a deep breath, releasing her legs from her grasp and looking to Steve, “I want to see him.” She said, almost bitterly, but also with a hint of fear.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea….” Steve hesitated, watching his sister closely, “Just give me the antidote and you two can talk later in a contained area.” He bargained, worried about what would happen if he let his sister see Bucky.

Y/N tilted her head as she stared at her brother’s face, “He’s already dying. I have no need to attack him again. And I’m not giving you the antidote until I see him. If what you say is true, if he is the Bucky…” She forced his names through her lips, almost hissing it out, “we remember, then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.” She promised him, her red eyes piercing through Steve’s blue ones.

Steve nodded, “Fine.. come with me. Wanda, you want to tag along?” He asked, knowing it was more of an order than a question. He may need Wanda to help with his sister if things got out of hand.

Together, the three made their way into med-bay where Bucky was. Clint looked between Y/N and Steve, wondering if this was the best idea. “He seems to be hallucinating about the war, some letters, and sunflowers. His temperature has spiked to almost dangerous temperatures. If it keeps rising, his organs will shut down and liquify.” He informed Steve.

Y/N looked at Clint as he spoke, a small smile forming on her lips as she heard of Bucky suffering. This wasn’t like her. She would never wish ill upon anybody. But things had changed and she had planned this revenge for so long. She followed Steve to Bucky’s side, tilting her head as she looked at him. She heard Clint click his arrow again, her eyes darting to him, “Do you have a more powerful arrow? Because the last one tickled.” She said with a smile. Clint huffed and rolled his eyes a bit, “Yeah, well, the next one won’t just tickle.” He warned.

Y/N looked down at Bucky who was panting, sweat beading down his face and arms. She looked at his neck, reaching to remove the bandage that covered her toxic bite. The wound seemed to have opened more and grown, as the veins around it turned black and webbed down his arms and up his neck. She could see him suffer like she had. She looked over when the door opened to the med-bay again, but this time a new face. A large green guy stood at the door, trying to get a read on the room. She assumed this was the hulk she had read about. She returned her gaze to Bucky, before poking near his wound, making him wince to wake up with a groan, “Can you not..” He whispered weakly, lifting a hand to swat hers away, opening his eyes slowly. He met your gaze, “Y/N…” He reached his other hand up to touch her face to see if you were real, but she flinched away from his touch.

“So you do remember me..” Y/N said, on her guard. She was fighting the urge to just rip him apart as he laid there.

“Of course, Doll…. I was just writing you a letter, planning what we should go eat and do when I get home.. Did you get the sunflowers I had Bex buy? Wait…. Why are you here? It’s dangerous.. You should be at home” He said, looking around. It was obvious he was hallucinating that he was still at war.

“Steve says you’re still you. That you have Hydra in your head that made you do all those awful things to me.” She leaned in closer to his face, her red eyes piercing into his blue ones, Her hand quickly moved to grip his neck, her thumb pressing into his wound which made him flinch, but not push her away, “If it was up to me, you’d suffer and get what you deserve. But, Steve has asked me to spare you. Give you a chance. I don’t think you deserve it.” She hissed out, anger clear. She heard Hawkeye move towards them, not wanting it to get violent again. She held up her hand to stop him, releasing Bucky’s neck, “But, I will help you. Not for you. Not for this team. But for Steve.” She said softly. She then scrapes her wrist with her fingernail, bright red blood forming. Everybody watched her confused. Y/N moved her wrist above his wound, her blood hitting the gash. As the drops hit, the skin sizzled, but slowly grew back together. The black veins disappearing and returning to normal. The wound slowly disappeared, leaving only a silver scar in the shape of her teeth. Steve passed his sister a bandage for her wrist. She placed it over the gash and stepped away from Bucky as he just stared at her. Y/N turned to Steve, “He’ll be fine. For now.” She said, walking past him to stand by Wanda, who gave her a small smile.

“That can’t be sanitary…” Clint muttered as he watched the wound disappear before his eyes. Banner just watched, his eyes flickering between Bucky and Y/N. Everybody watched as Bucky slipped back into unconsciousness. Banner cleared his throat and looked to Steve, “So, uh, Cap… You needed my help?” He reminded Steve.

Steve nods towards Banner, motioning for him to follow into the next med-bay room with him for some privacy, also giving his sister a look for her to follow. Of course Wanda followed Y/N in, she hadn’t left your side for hours, feeling oddly protective and connected to you. Once the four of them were in the privacy of a different room, Steve shut the blinds so his sister couldn’t see Bucky anymore, hoping it would help her remain calm. “Bruce, this is Y/N Rogers. My sister.” He introduced.

Bruce looked at Steve in confusion and shock for a moment, then looked to Y/N, “You know, I knew I saw a resemblance. Nice to meet you, I’m Bruce Banner.” He smiled at her before he turned his attention back to Steve, “Now that his wound is taken care of, what can I do for you Cap?” He asked. Obviously he was warned about saying Bucky’s name.

“I need you to help look into Y/N. Hydra took her, did something with her brain according to her. You know more about this stuff than me.” He informed, before looking to his sister, “Is that alright with you, some tests?”

Y/N nodded, not feeling threatened at all. Bruce may look scary as the hulk, but she could tell from the way he spoke and moved that he wasn’t a threat to her. She approached the med-bay table, laying herself down.

Bruce asked for the room, leading Steve and Wanda out. They opened the blinds again so they could see into the room to observe you from the other room, just in case something happened.

“Okay, Y/N, I’m going to scan your brain, okay?” He asked for permission, a small comforting smile on his green lips. Y/N nodded at him, checking for her brother on the other side of the window who nodded at her to let her know things were going to be okay. She had forgotten that Bucky was now in the same room with her brother and Wanda, focused on the scan. She hated laying here, it brought back painful memories. But at least it wasn’t in some bunker with dim lighting.

Bruce brought a machine by her head, placing it around her skull. The Avengers team had all the new technology which made scanning any part of the body for an in depth look super easy. It would show Bruce everything from her skin, to her skull, and into her brain. The machine hummed to life, causing Y/N to flinch a little at the sound. Bruce gave her another comforting smile, before looking at the holographic screen that appeared, “We are also going to take a blood sample, okay? Just a little poke.” Bruce said, to which Y/N nodded. A needle come down and extracted some of her blood from her arm. Bruce was looking at the skin under her hair first on her head, then going to examine her skull, before looking at her brain. They were in there for almost an hour as he looked over her scans and blood sample, a focused look on his face. “I’m going to go talk to Steve, I’ll be right back with him, okay?” Bruce said to which Y/N nodded slowly, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

Bruce walked into the other room where all the eyes were watching Y/N through the window. “I’d like to go keep her company.” Wanda said, to which Steve nodded and watched Wanda go in to talk to his sister, waiting for the door to shut behind her.

Bucky had awoken again, sitting up and also staring through the window at Y/N silently. He was thankful she had healed him, he was able to get another chance at her forgiveness. But he was also curious to hear about what he had given her to Hydra for. That put fear in his bones as he awaited for Banner to speak.

Banner sighed, turning away from the window so Y/N couldn’t watch him talk. “It’s bad Steve. Theres a healed incision on her the top of her head in her skin, meaning they did cut into her head at some point. The X-ray of her skull showed a Hydra brand in the middle of the bone where they removed part of her skull. It looks like they drilled the design in themselves.” He watched Steve’s facial expression turn to worry, Steve’s eyes flickering between Banner and his sister through the glass. Bucky listened, rage and guilt growing inside of him. But the emotion he felt most was sadness. He had led Y/N to this, handed her over. He didn’t know who he was, who she was, or what he was doing, but still. This was his fault and something he would forever feel guilty for. Banner continued, “As for her actual brain… Someone definitely fiddled around in there. From what I can tell, her nervous system is damaged in the way it doesn’t register pain correctly. Her blood also showed mutated enzymes that heal very quickly. ” He looked back through the window to Wanda and Y/N, who were talking, Wanda smiling. “I would assume they used some variation of what they used to make Bucky, but more enhanced. When I X-Rayed her head, I was able to see fangs hidden in her gums. I assume they pop out when she bites and pushes venom into her victims."

Steve sighs, crossing his arm as he watched his sister, “She’s fast, strong, doesn’t feel much pain, heals quickly, and has venom in her teeth with her blood as the cure,” He said, listing off the enhanced abilities, "Sounds like Hydra was trying to up their game to make the ultimate soldier.”

Nobody had noticed that Bucky was now standing by Steve, listening but keeping his focus on Y/N through the window. As he listened to what was going on inside her head, his rage grew. He had done this. Maybe Y/N was right to attack him, to inject her with his venom. He was hallucinating that she was okay, safe. It wouldn’t be the worst way to go. Bucky finally broke his silence, “She probably has some sort of trigger, like I did. It’s important we figure out what that is.” He said, turning his gaze to Steve who just nodded in agreement silently. It was a lot to take in for Steve. As he kept learning more about what happened to Y/N, his guilt also grew for what had happened to her. He should’ve been there for her, to protect her.

Bruce looked at Steve, “What they’ve done to her brain… it makes her slightly mentally unstable. It’s amazing she made it through what she did and is able to have any thoughts of her own. With what they’ve done to her brain, they should have full control.” He paused, watching the reactions from Bucky and Steve, knowing their next question already.

“So why don’t they have full control?” Bucky was the one to ask, looking at Bruce curiously. He finally tore his eyes away from Y/N through the window, curiosity grabbing his attention.

Bruce sighed, pausing for a moment trying to figure out the way to tell them the gruesome finding, “She had a chip implanted in her brain. It would send her the orders from Hydra. That is how they controlled her. She couldn’t fight it. It would instantly make her do what they wanted when they initiated the chip. With Bucky they had the phrase, but they must’ve upgraded to chip to make it easier.”

“Had a chip?” Steve turned to Bruce curiously, feeling somewhat safer as it sounded like the chip wasn’t there anymore.

Bruce nodded, “Yeah.. Uh.. Had a chip. It’s not there anymore. If I had to, I would guess she… uhm..” He paused, thinking of how to put the next information delicately without making it sound too horrific, “She picked it out herself.”

Steve’s brow furled in confusion, “Picked it out herself? Out of her brain? How?” He questioned, halfway dreading the answer.

“Y/N also had scars behind her left ear as well as a scar on her same spot on her skull. It looks like she scratched herself with her fingers until she got to bone, from there she may have used a drill, then picked the chip out of her brain with pliers but I would guess by hand. Her skull healed the hole and all that is left is scars.” Bruce said quietly, it was more horrific to say aloud, especially seeing the faces of Bucky and Steve.

Bucky looked back towards Y/N, “She was smart enough to figure out what they were doing, strong enough to dig it out.” He folded his arms, the peak of his rage had been met. If only those who did this to Y/N were still alive… He would have tortured them for her. For what they did to her and what they made him do. He looked at Y/N though, and his insides melted. The rage was subsiding. Bucky just wanted to go into that room and hold her, letting her know how sorry he was and that it would all be okay. That she was safe and nothing was going to hurt her ever again. He knew he couldn’t though. If he went in there to try and speak to you, he knew he would be met with hostility. And he knew he deserved it. She should’ve forgotten about him, had a family, had a happy life like he always imagined she had. But instead, Y/N was here. Damaged. And he couldn’t do anything to help.

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TAGLIST: @taina-eny

#bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #marvel #marvelfanfic #bucky barnes imagine #buckybarnes x you #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel imagine #bucky x you #Bucky barnes x you #marvel fanfic series #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday.

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point.

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

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babymilkawa · 3 years

Note

HI ITS ME CAN YOU PRETTY PLEASE WRITE SOME HCS FOR SUGAWARA IF HIS GF IS SICK. ALSO I DUNNO HOW MANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU DO FOR EACH HC POST CAUSS I FORGOT TO CHECK, but if you need like three i’d really love hinata and daichi as well :D REMINDER OF SUGAWARA SUPREMACYYYYYY

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I MADE AS A BRIBE

ILL TAKE IT// but yea I didn’t rly put a limit cos ppl are decent enuf to not request like 10 at a time right?? 😅 here ya go swaglorddd

sick s/o headcanons with:

sugawara koushi, hinata shoyo, sawamura daichi, kenma kozume

gn!reader :)

sugawara koushi

if you show up to his practice wrapped in layers of clothing and a red nose, he’ll excuse himself immediately and force you to sit down on the bench while he goes to coach ukai’s store to get some meds for you

when he comes back, both his hands are carrying two plastic bags

one of them has your stuff, warm food that isn’t greasy and cough drops too

the others are cold drinks for his teammates aww karasuno’s mom

you are forBiddEn to have the drinks too except for the warm water he put in your water bottle

rly wished you’d go home first instead of waiting for his practice to end but it doesn’t seem like you want to

he’ll look to the benches every few minutes to see your sleeping form

during break, he’ll gently move your head onto his lap so you don’t have to lay on the hard bench

as soon as they’re dismissed he’s giving you his jacket cos “it gets cold in the night time” and warms up ur hands

if you try to keep ur distance so he doesn’t get sick too, he’ll joke that you prolly already got the whole team sick

making you pout and him pinching ur cheeks 😖

once you reach your place, he’ll linger outside of your door,,,unwilling to let go of your hands SOB

“I’ll come back tomorrow morning ok? I’ll also bring porridge but you still need to eat something else and don’t forget to drink hot wat-”

“yes, yes I know koushi...now go home so you don’t catch a cold too”

but even when you’re standing by your window, you’ll see him looking around your house, tryna figure out which window belongs to your bedroom

and as promised, he comes back the next day with hot porridge and makes sure that your water bottle is full with warm water

and that your backpack has extra cough drops

he’ll still hold your hand and kiss ur forehead

maybe part of him wants to get sick so u can take care of him djhfjdhf

hinata shoyo

he’ll pout a little once he finds out your sick but he’ll still stay by your side!

he’s still overflowing with energy but doesn’t wanna tire you out too much

you’ll hear him stop by your house in the mornings with a volleyball in his hands and maybe kageyama behind him, eating

he’ll bring random snacks from coach ukai’s store and place them at ur door

you’ll sit by ur window and he’ll sit outside of it, telling you about his day, what he did, how practice was

“y/n no one clapped for me T-T”

cos ur usually clapping for him after every successful hit

“kageyama was just yelling at me saying how my spike wasn’t even that great but I know you would’ve said it was good :((“

“aww shoyo, I’m sure it was! Don’t listen to him, ur trying ur best:))”

pet his hair

yes ur the one who’s sick but he misses u

will stop by ur house everyday

I mean he already does that

u usually help him with hw but he doesn’t think he shud ask u when u sleep

all his energy will just go p o o f when he sees u sleeping

he’ll prolly hear windchimes or smthing hahahah

but he’ll be able to sit quietly until you wake up

kageyama’s like HaaH???

SHH

but hinata’s tryna figure out his hw without u helping ok

once ur better, he’ll give you the bIGGGEST hug and sway you side to side AWW I MISS THOSE HUGS

and catch you up on evthing that’s happened

meaning everything that’s happened in the last 5 mins cos he already tells u everything 🙄

sawamura daichi

he’ll make sure you have everything for school

brings you your hw, explains to you the concepts

will call u during lunch or smthing cos it’s boring w/o you

dating him means ur automatically good friends with asahi and sugawara so they’ll check up on you too

and sugawara will tell you how daichi won’t stop talking abt how he can’t wait till u get better dhhdjfjdjs

sometimes you’ll catch him having tea with your mom on your front porch and she’s tryna embarrass you hahhsjdf

Ok but that scenario is just,,, so,,, hubby material yk

like he prolly came by to drop some food and ur moms making him stay and gushing abt how handsome he is

“so you’re the one making my y/n all happy”

rare occasions that daichi blushes #1

he’ll softly knock on ur door and u quickly pretend to be asleep

places sthing on ur desk then just leaves the s o f t e s t kiss on ur forehead and whispers sweet dreams GAHSJFOEJ

when he’s gone you look at what’s on ur desk and it’s a flower crown from ur first date 🥺

keep him ok

will prolly do sthing like throw paper airplanes at ur window

and then when he sees you open ur window he’ll hide behind a tree and watch as u go outside to pick them up

inside he’s written little notes like “get better!” Or “i miss you!” or “WHAT ARE U DOING AWAKE GO BACK TO SLEEP”

like sir u woke me up with all that tapping 🙄🤚🏻

once ur better, you walk into the vb gym first and u can hear him yelling at Tanaka and noya then when he sees u walk in he’s all “oh, y/n” 😌

PLS TANAKa and Noya WORSHIP U NOW SJDJSKKS

in the first couple of days you’re back he’ll still keep an eye on you and have his arm around your shoulder

occasionally putting his hand on your forehead and sneaking a kith 😚

kenma kozume

u didn’t tell him at first that u were sick but he still found out 🙄

“ur sick, aren’t you”

“huh?? No I’m not :((“

will look at u like this -_-

and yk if u stay home from school, he’ll find excuses to hang out in ur room

kuroo will be calling like “is freaking kenma there?!”

yea he’s spooning u

since ur sick, hE’ll be the one to pet ur hair

if it helps u fall asleep

won’t play games in ur room like he usually does cos he doesn’t want the sound and light to distract u

he’ll most likely bring u take out bc he can’t cook and will prolly burn down ur kitchen cos he got distrayced by the tv or smthing ahHa

will check ur temp like every 5 min I swear

“no- ko i rly don’t think my temp is gonna change every 5 min”

“but just in case-“

-_-

he’s smart ok so he’ll tutor you with late hw if u need it

will sit next to you and wiggle his toes by ur feet :3

once ur better, y’all go back to ur usual gaming and eat the hell out of junk food 🤪

a/n: rly hope u liked it 🥺💕 daichi’s was my fav hehe and TY @ilauvcoldpizza FOR HELPING ME W KENMA <3

haikyu!! masterlist

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yetanotherhiddlestoner · 3 years

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The Asgardian and his Atlantean.

(First time writing a marvel related story and and LokiXreader one at that. So forgive the way it is. I got bored one night watching Atlantis on Disney that I came up with this mixture of a story. Hope you enjoy I own nothing of marvels or disney’s. This story is also on my Wattpad -https://www.wattpad.com/user/HatterMoon )

Life at Stark Tower was good for you. All the Avengers loved you and they treated you like family. You loved helping out Tony the most with his suits and helping him advance the technology. This morning started like any other day, you woke before the sun had started to shine in the sky, you check your pendent. A couple more days before you need to be returning home.

You prepared breakfast for everyone, despite being told numerous times that you didn't need to do it.

You made sure to brew enough coffee for everyone as they all seem to need it first thing in the morning. You preferred tea to start your day, and so they have gifted you your own tea pot and tea set at Christmas.

The first to wander in was Nat, still in his PJ's with messy hair and rubbing her eyes, you chuckle silently. "Morning Nat. Sleep well?" She mumbled a reply, followed by the words "Need Coffee" One by one all the Avengers entered the common room, some more awake then others. "Tony where is Steve and Bucky?" Wanda asks as you take in notice that you are two short. "They left on a mission last night so for the time being it will just be us." Tony answers "Good Morning Y/N." Bruce said as he come to stand beside you. "Morning Bruce. I might need the lab later today to test out some test for healing drinks is that fine with you? "Hey I only borrow the Lab myself you best ask Tony since you know, he owns it" "I know but you are the one in there most of the time. It feels like I am invading your space" "You can use the Lab Y/N. Do I need to remind you that you live here, you do not have to ask to use something." Tony said as he had overheard the conversation. You smile at him. Tony had become like a father figure to you over the years. "Thanks Tony."

It's not long before they all go off and do their own things, Clint goes to the shooting range, Natasha and Wanda go to the training, Bruce to the lab and Tony goes to the armory, leaving you to do your own thing. It unusually quiet this day. You so used to Bucky keeping you company while you wander through various jobs that need doing.

As the day went on you made your way down to the lab for a few hours, The Avengers went on a small mission, leaving you alone. As much as you hated them going on missions you enjoyed the quiet. You took note of the potions and ingredients and the ones that needed restocking.

"Miss Y/N. They will be returning shortly. I was informed by Mr Stark" "Thank you Jarvis, will they be requiring my assistance?"

"I am unsure Miss Y/N best to be prepared in case" You nod and gather a couple of jars in your hand and take them to the Med-bay.

"Hey kid we're home" Tony called out through the building. You make your way to them to see Nat and Clint heading to the med-bay, limping.

"There is a new stock of healing potions in there for you guys to try if you want." You smile and they nod at you as you continue your way to Tony. "How did it go Tony?" "Wasn't our best, wasn't as small as we had predicted." "That bad?" "You could say ,might be a problem in the future but not right now, also kid we have a new person for you to meet. They will be staying here for a while." He said as he poured himself a glass of whiskey. "Oh?" Now you were curious. "Yeah its Thor's brother, Loki. He will be arriving later today. If you want to join us in collecting him you are more than welcomed." "I might just do that. It has been awhile since I left the tower and I will be returning home in a couple days to grab supplies, So you will have to survive without me for about a week" Tony chuckles "You mean we have to cook our own breakfast? Oh no how will we survive." You roll your eyes at the sarcasm but smile. He pats your back as he walks out of the common room.

You head to your room and rest for a while, you slowly starting to feel the drain on your body. Closing your eyes you dream of your home, your friends and family.

A knock on your door alerts you to wake up. "Hey Lady Y/N, Stark told me to come and grab you." Only one person calls you by that nickname and its Thor so its no surprise when you open the door and see him there. "Please Thor call me Y/N. No need for formalities." "No. Lady Y/N we will be leaving soon, walk with me to the landing dock?" You nod and allow Thor to lead you to the Quin-jet. "So your brother is joining the Avengers?"

"Sadly no, he will be helping out on missions but will not be a Avenger. He is barely happy about helping us. He might even be able to help you in the Lab and with the suits." "I doubt Tony will allow anyone to touch his suits, do you remember the trouble I had when I fixed his suit the first time, I was all but grounded" "I am sure you could convince Tony to allow Loki to help?" "Ah the God of Mischief and Tony Stark agreeing on something. Is this not the same Loki that attacked New York?" You joke to the god of thunder. "The same one, I would like to think that Tony will one day sort of agree with him, he has done his time on Asgard and Father thinks this will help him amend the past." You stay quiet, you had not been here when the New York attack happened, that was the week Tony had sent you home to grab supplies, but he had filled you in on some of the details.

"Lady Y/N if you may" Thor says gesturing to the seat "We will betaking off soon." You smile and get strapped in to your seat. You stay quiet for the flight, everyone around is chatting between themselves, and joking. You pick up on bits and pieces here and thereof what they discussing.

"We might as well have a party for Reindeer games arrival." Tony says loud enough for everyone to hear. "Another party Tony? Must we, you know Loki won't like it" Nat says glaring at the male beside her. "Another reason to have it. He needs to get over it and show us that he is changing. So a party is the perfect way to do it." You sometimes wondered what went though Tony's head some days. He had to host a party for everything. He even held one for you when you finally agreed to help them. FLASHBACK It took a lot of convincing and asking for you to accept Mr. Starks offer to work for him. Some how your little secret was out in the open and now you had the richest man in the area, all but begging you to join his crew. "We could use a smart woman like you on the team. You would have your own room, hell I will even give you your own floor for your technology and gear." "Mr. Stark as much as I would love to join, I am afraid I will never fit in." "Why because your Atlantean? You do know Thor is a god, Bruce is the Hulk. You would fit in fine. I do not care what you are or where you come from."

You look at him and then look away to your garage filled with old Atlantean war machines. You could use a bigger place for them to be stored while you fix them up and get them back in the air. "Could I bring all this? I have worked to hard to give up" You wave your hands round the room. "Not to the tower, but I have a compound that we can store them at and you can go there and work on them whenever you need." "Alright Mr. Stark. I will accept." "Great and call me Tony. I will start arranging the transportation of your vehicles and your personal belongings. Please excuse me" You watch him walk out, a bit stunned at how quickly he got to setting everything up.

ENDOF FLASHBACK.

You feel Thor tapping your shoulder, you glance at him "Yes?" "We will be landing soon. Are you ok? You seem to be a bit distracted?" "Oh its all good Thor, I was just thinking." "As long as you are well Lady Y/N" A few moments alter you have landed and everyone has started leaving the Quin-jet. You look around you, nothing but grasslands for miles. Next thing you see a giant beam of light land on the ground ahead of you and in a flash it is gone, leaving nothing but a raven hair man in green armor.

Loki.

"Brother it is nice to see you again." Thor approaches the man alone. "Thor. I see you bought the whole team for this arrival. Couldn't trust me enough to come alone?" "It is not like that Loki. Do not start this" You watch the interaction between the brothers as does everyone else. No-one moves to greet him. "Come now Brother, there is someone I wish for you to meet." Thor looks in your direction. They make their way over to you. "Brother is is Lady Y/N." You bow a bit to Loki, knowing of his royal title, you have no choice but to. "Your Highness, nice to meet you" "Lady Y/N you do not need to bow to him." "Best you listen to my brother Mortal" Loki said with a smugness. You raise your head and you feel his eyes trail to your neck. You see the realization kick in once he sees your pendent. "You're Atlantean?"

#lokixreader #wattpad #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #loki (marvel)#loki's black suit #prince loki #loki of asgard #loki of jotunheim #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki fandom #loki #Y/N #Y/N reader #y/n fanfic #atlantean.

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dakotacrisis · 3 years

Text

Cherry Blossoms (3)

Kagami straight up having a not good time

Read on AO3

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“Kagami,” her mother called through her door, “Are you awake? You haven’t heard a peep out of you all morning?”

“I’m awake,” Kagami answered in a shaky voice. In truth she had not fallen asleep at all last night. Not after those three flower petals popped out of her mouth. She had spent almost a full minute just staring at them, willing them to disappear. But they did not move, the tickle in her throat did not cease, it was all still very real.

Kagami had heard of Hanahaki disease. A strange phenomenon where people coughed up flower petals but she had never imagined it could happen to her. She had spent the rest of the night researching at her computer while also trying to convince herself that she really hadn’t contracted the disease. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t be happening.

No one knows why Hanahaki disease happens. It seemed to be such a magical and bizarre affliction that it couldn’t be real. There was no scientific backing to it. Really, why would someone’s body start growing flowers just because they were experiencing an unrequited love? It was absurd and altogether frightening. But as the years since its emergence it had become common knowledge.

Thankfully they had discovered a way to remove the flowers so they couldn’t hurt anyone anymore but even that came at a price. You could have the flowers removed with a simple surgery but when the flowers were removed the romantic feelings that the patient had for their unrequited love disappeared as well. For some it was a mercy but for others they saw it as a twisted and sick fate.

Many of the articles Kagami read on the subject ranged from WebMD’s symptoms and treatment options to articles about how to get your unrequited love to love you back, and forums for others that had contracted Hanahaki. She had scoured them all hoping one of them would tell her that she was wrong. But the signs were all there. The deep dive she went into when she accepted she must have contracted Hanahaki disease had only made her fear worse.

Detailed accounts of how the surgery to remove the flowers and the aftereffects of such a procedure. People talking about how in love with the person that held their affections was and the day after about how all those feelings didn’t exist anymore. Statistics of people who had died suffocating on flowers instead of getting the surgery that could have saved their lives. They would live but at the risk of losing the feelings for someone they held dear to their hearts.

To cheer herself up from all the gloom and death and bloody pictures of flowers removed from people’s lungs she read success stories. Couples who had fallen in love and how the flowers disappeared. It made her feel a bit better seeing that not everyone was subject to surgery or possible death on account of their feelings.

The tickle came back in her throat when she thought about being one of those lucky pairs that got the love they craved. This was all Kagami’s fault. She just had to fall in love with Marinette. She should have been stronger than that. She barely knew this girl and yet she felt it deep inside that her heart was irrevocably hers. A girl who smelled like sweet vanilla and whose soft blue eyes anyone would be lucky to drown in. A girl who made Kagami feel warm and fluttery and turned her whole world bubbly and pink.

Kagami sighed and held up the small jar she had dropped the flower petals into. She knew she would probably be better off just throwing them away but for some reason it didn’t seem right.

At least she was lucky enough to have cherry blossoms. They were fairly small. She felt bad for people who coughed up things like lilies and sunflowers. They were decidedly more painful and harder to get out of one’s throat due to how big they could get. The thought alone made Kagami shudder.

Her phone went off with a reminder that she needed to get going to school. How was she supposed to attend school now knowing that she had flowers growing in her lungs? No. It’s fine. She’s a brave and resilient girl. She’ll be fine. Besides, it was only three little flower petals. It just started so she was nowhere near the stage where she would start coughing up whole flowers or be able to see and feel the stems and roots growing up her esophagus.

She covered her mouth, certain that if she thought on it anymore she would puke. Worse comes to worse she can just schedule a surgery and have it over with. Everything will be fine.

While content in her ability to not die from the flowers growing in her lungs Kagami found herself preoccupied with the fact that she now had to face her feelings. She hadn’t even admitted to herself that she was in love with Marinette until those flower petals came out of her. Now it was all she could think about. How long had this been building? When did her feelings for Marinette go from a simple little crush to full blown love? Was it at the pool? Was it before that? Had she just been falling deeper and deeper in love with Marinette since the moment she met her?

How pathetic was this? She fell in love with Marinette within only a short time of knowing her but Marinette probably only thought of her as a good friend. Oh screw it, that’s all Marinette saw her as. The proof was literally rooted inside her. If Marinette loved her back as she wanted her to none of this would be happening.

School was arduous and long. The tickle in her throat returned every time she thought of Marinette. She didn’t cough up any more petals but that stupid tickle wouldn’t let her have a moment of peace. By the end of the day she was ready to go home and wallow in her misery. That was until she got another reminder that she had fencing practice with Adrien after school. She could have screamed.

“Hey Kagami,” Adrien waved her over when she got to their lesson, “How was your day?”

“Fine,” she nodded, “Feeling a little under the weather but that won’t stop me from beating you into the dirt.”

“Allergies still bothering you?” he asked, “We don’t have to practice outside if that makes it worse. We can head inside if that’ll help.”

“No,” Kagami cleared her throat, “I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” they took their positions and began practice. All was going well and for a few brief minutes Kagami was able to forget about everything as she laid waste to Adrien.

She had just claimed victory again when she heard a familiar voice ring out through the courtyard. “Wow, and here I thought Adrien was the best fencer I knew but Kagami is kicking your butt.”

Oh goodness why? Why was Marinette here? She was dressed in warm yellows and soft whites, a single hair clip with a daisy on it holding her bangs away from her face. “Hey Marinette,” Adrien stood up, pushing his mask up to greet her, “What brings you to practice today?”

“I finished copying the notes you lent me.” she handed him a notebook, “I also wanted to see how you faired against Kagami since I haven’t had the chance to watch her fence yet. Does she always beat you so easily?”

“Pretty much,” Adrien sighed with a good natured smile, “But I still think I give her a run for her money. Right Kagami?”

Kagami was frozen. She hadn’t prepared herself to see Marinette yet. The tickle in her throat became more insistent. Why did seeing her have to be such a wonderful and horrible thing at the same time?

“Yeah,” she managed to say in between tiny coughs, “Nice to see you again.”

“Oh, poor Kagami, allergies still bugging you?” Marinette looked at her with pity, “I think I have some allergy meds in my bag. I bought a bottle just in case of emergencies like this.”

“Oh no,” Kagami coughed harder, “That’s fine. I already took some. I’m just waiting for it to kick in.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Marinette beamed. “Would you guys mind it I watch you duel for a bit?”

“Sure,” Adrien shrugged, “Maybe an audience is just the kind of encouragement I need to finally win one of these matches.”

Marinette took a seat nearby to watch. They began the duel but Kagami couldn’t focus on fencing with Marinette watching her so intently. She pressed her lips tightly together to muffle the cough that tried to escape. Her eyes watered and there was a tight pain in her chest the longer she tried to keep from coughing. Not now! Please not now!

Finally she couldn’t take it anymore, the need to breathe and clear her lungs to great. She coughed into her mask. She felt the tickle of wet petals slide past her lips and tongue and settle at the bottom of her mask near her chin. Adrien took the moment she was disoriented and knocked her back onto her butt. At least it was over and she was breathing a bit easier.

“I win! Woo!” Adrien cheered, “Doesn’t feel as good since you had a coughing fit in the middle of it but I will still take the win.”

“Yep, great, congratulations,” Kagami stood up, “Don’t apologize for taking advantage of your opponent’s weakness. Every great fighter does it.”

“That was a great fight,” Marinette said, “Kagami, do you need some water? You sounded pretty bad at the end there. I have a water bottle.”

Goodness this girl came prepared for anything.

“No. I’m fine,” she assured her. She desperately wanted something to drink but she couldn’t risk taking her mask off since it was the only thing keeping the flower petals from falling out. “I think I’m going to cut practice short today though. Go home and get some rest.”

“Yeah, I should probably be heading back too.” Adrien agreed.

“Alrighty then, I’ll talk to you guys later.” Marinette waved before heading off again.

Kagami immediately ran to the locker room and tore the mask off her head. Three more pink petals fell from her mask and settled on the ground. She scooped them up and sighed. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t she just have her crush in peace?

“Kagami, are you alright? You ran in here so fast I thought--” Adrien stopped when he saw her and the petals in her hand.

Crap.

Her mind scrambled for an explanation. Adrien’s expression shifted from concern to shock then a deep sadness. He sat down next to Kagami and silently held out his hand. With a sigh she dropped the petals into palm.

“How long?” Adrien asked, studying the petals with delicate interest.

“Last night, was able to choke it back all day but the second she showed up here I couldn’t hold them in anymore.” Kagami dropped her head into her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien wrapped his free arm around her, “I’d be more surprised if you had been able to resist her.”

He closed his hands around the petals. “Do yourself a favor and schedule yourself for a surgery now. Don’t drag it out. It’ll only hurt more.”

Kagami looked up at him bewildered and almost offended, “What?”

“You think you’re the first person that has fallen victim to the entity of warmth and kindness that is Marinette Dupain-Cheng? There’s been a whole slew of people that have contracted Hanahaki disease because of her.” Adrien shook his head with a small scoff, “Nino, Nathaneal, Alya, Luka...me…”

“All of you?” She couldn’t believe this. They were all such good friends though. All of them had fallen in love with Marinette and contracted Hanahaki disease? How was that even possible? Besides, most of them were already in happy loving relationships when Kagami met them.

“Is that really so shocking?” Adrien asked, there was something wistful in his gaze, “She makes it so easy to fall for her. When you’re around her you don’t perceive anything else. It’s just her and everything around you is gone. You’re in a void of sweet sugar candy. You look at her and everything turns…”

“Everything goes pink.” Kagami finished. “So you fell in love with her?”

“Yep. I was latest before you. I was coughing up red rose petals for months and months. I tried everything in my power to get her to return my feelings. I straight up confessed to her that I was in love with her and wanted to know if she could love me back. When she told me she didn’t I...it kind of broke me. It hurt so much but I didn’t want to let go of the feeling of loving her. In the end she had to beg me to go and get the surgery to save my life.”

She would have never guessed that Adrien and so many of her other friends had also fallen for Marinette. Then again, if they all got the surgery and had their feelings removed then she wouldn’t have been able to tell.

“You wanna know something all those articles online don’t tell you?” Adrien said, “Once the surgery is over and the flowers and the feelings are gone you feel hollow. Not for a long time but at least the first week you can just feel that hole where your love was. It’s not even like you lost any attraction you just lose everything for a bit.”

“And you think that speech is going to convince me to want to get the surgery? It sounds pretty bad.”

“For the first week, after that everything eases. You can’t love her romantically anymore so you love her the only other way you can. That’s why we’re all such good friends. We love her as much as we can platonically. It fills that hole and while the world may no longer be pink when you look at her, it is still the happiest place you know.”

Kagami sniffed. It sounded nice. To love someone so much in a way that assured you wouldn’t lose them. She could still be happy. She could still be in Marinette’s life. She could still have happy days full of that warmth and sweetness that radiated off of her. But at the cost of losing something that felt even better.

“All my life I’ve waited to meet someone that makes me feel the way I do when I’m around Marinette. I started to think that it would never happen. Then she showed up.” she reached into her bag and took out the butterfly barrette that Marinette gave her. “I know that I am probably causing myself more pain but I don’t want to give this up so easily. I can’t give her up without a fight, Adrien. You of all people understand that, don’t you?”

Adrien sighed and dropped the petals back into her hand. He reached into his own bag and withdrew a paper bookmark. A pressed red rose petal laminated to the paper. He smiled, “Maybe you’ll be the lucky one that wins her heart this time.”

She hugged him tight. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You have to promise me though,” Adrien pulled back, “You have to promise that if this goes on too long and your disease gets really bad that you will schedule a surgery. I know that you are not going to want to but I will not see your stubbornness kill you, Kagami. You will have to yield if it goes on for too long, do you understand?”

“I do. I promise.” Kagami hated the idea but it could always be worse.

“Good.” Adrien stood up, “Get dressed and go home to get some rest. Tomorrow we start operation...what kind of petals are you coughing up again?”

“Cherry blossoms.”

“Tomorrow we begin Operation Cherry Blossoms!”

---

(First) (Previous) (Next)

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #kagami tsurugi #kagaminette #marigami #hanahaki disease au

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

Text

housemates with shiratorizawa

helloo!! new headcanon series here hehe. i hope you like this very long set of headcanons!

how you ended up in a house with these guys:

they're such a tight-knit bunch considering the fact that they've been living in a dormitory throughout high school

it was probs semi or kawanishi who suggested getting an extra roommate to help with the rent (tendou and goshiki are accident prone they need someone to help pay for repairs)

so ushijima made and put up an ad for an extra housemate. although he didn't disclose the fact that you'd be rooming with 7 other dudes

you were kind of desperate for some housing at this point so you just went with it

the person who greets you at the door is shirabu. but its more like he saw you, your bag, and went back inside the house leaving the door open

you stood there for a whole ten minutes before kawanishi came up to invite you inside

you're instantly greeted by goshiki and semi cleaning the house like crazy. semi was punching a couch cushion so that it looked an extra soft pillow

tbh the only normal you see are ushijima and reon. they're probs the ones who interviewed you to see if you were a good fit as their housemate

despite how weird your first impressions of some of your housemates were, you were still keen to move in

and then that's when tendou decided to come home from the pet shop with an iguana

living there:

you're roommate ends up being shirabu because no one else wanted to room with him (jk they all drew straws and he was lucky)

he's a pretty good roommate: clean, keeps to himself, doesn't play music too loudly

except the fact that he ALWAYS HOGS THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

the bathroom might as well just be his because it's FULL of beauty products. also shirabu takes a million years to get ready that at this point, everyone uses the downstairs bathroom

lmao y'all get your revenge tho by using some of shirabu's products when he's gone

its particularly you, semi, tendo, and kawanishi who like to do that

kawanishi: *walks past shirabu*

shirabu: bitch, did you use my fucking Splash of Pomegranate with Exfoliating Sesame Seeds: Rainforest of the Sun Bath and Body Works shower gel?

kawanishi:...no?

semi and reon are both roommates and are probably the most normal people in the house which is saying something

also idk why i feel like they both have a thing for scented candles but they're too shy to tell anyone

like,,, they have a closet full of scented candles and everything

reon: hey, want me to light up Spring Lake or Summer's Kiss?

semi: Summer's Kiss all the way

that's why they always keep their door locked and whenever someone knocks, they quickly snuff out the candle and fan the smoke out of the windows

you: whoa, why does it smell so nice here?

semi: ...air freshener

is kawanishi the only sane, normal person in the house? yeah, probably

he's the one who remembers to get groceries and buy toilet paper and shit and he's so happy he has you to help him out

the thing is though, he's a NOTORIOUS prankster. like, nobody suspects him because they assume its tendou who put packets of ketchup under the toilet seat but no, it was kawanishi

but his favorite person to mess with is his roommate: goshiki

okay goshiki is a Heavy Sleeper and one night you and kawanishi decided to draw criss-cross stocking marks on his legs with permanent marker

goshiki is an alright housemate. he's polite, does his assigned chores, rarely gets into your privacy

but oh my god every morning at 5 am he wakes up the entire house BY BLENDING PROTEIN SHAKES

you and shirabu considered soundproofing your room or chaining goshiki to his bed

ONE OF THE HOUSE'S GREATEST MYSTERIES: how does goshiki cut his hair?

tendou knows you've been dying to know why so one day he's all 'do you really wanna know?' and you're like 'HECC YEAH' and he takes your arm and brings you to goshiki's room

in there you find him with a bowl on his head and cutting along the rim with his scissors

shirabu is also with him but he has a ruler for his bangs

its the only time they ever get along

tendou and ushijima has hands-down the most chaotic room set-up

for one, half of it, ushijima's half, looks like a traditional japanese house

you know that scene in BNHA where todoroki was showing off his room? yes that one

y'all are like 'how was he able to bring tatami mats in his room?'

and then tendou's half looks like a weird-ass storage room complete with an iguana tank (yes he kept it)

tendou probs has those color-changing lights too

and the funny part about it is that both ushijima and tendou are completely okay with the set-up

also tendou has the most irregular schedule ever. like,,, circadian rhythms just wasn't installed in the being that is Tendou Satori

like,, he'll be making mac and cheese at 3 am and just enter your room asking if you want anything

you: WHY WOULD I WANT MAC AND CHEESE AT 3 AM???

shirabu, who's still awake because he's a med student: i'll have some

ushijima on the other hand has such a set schedule and daily routine. he's the definition of 'working like clockwork'

you guys even use him as your clock because why not?

you: guys what time is it?

reon: ushijima just left for his morning run so probably 7am

the only thing is that ushijima,,, generally doesn't cook??

and by that he likes to eat raw vegetables. no seasoning, no nothing

and he always offers to make people snacks and he does it so sincerely that you can't help but accept his snacks

*insert scene of you eating raw carrots at 11 pm while studying*

house incident: everyone being a closeted fan of Naruto

everyone in shiratorizawa is a closeted naruto fan (except for a few but we’ll be discussing) and no i don’t accept criticism on this

goshiki MAY have rock lee’s signature bowl cut and sometimes walks around the house in leg weights but he doesn’t say who he copies them from outright

but EVERYONE ELSE

you started having your suspicions when you walked into semi and reon’s room looking for a pencil and found semi sitting in bed with a pile of tissues around him and his laptop on his lap

you guys stare at each other for a while and semi just quickly yells “I WAS WATCHING PORN”

you: I DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

my boy semi was actually crying to that part in naruto when zabuza and haku died

his roommate reon on the other hand has a secret tattoo

it’s a sharingan tattoo and its on his back, just between his shoulder blades, which is why he doesn’t go around shirtless (his favorite character is itachi don’t @ me)

reon probably owns an akatsuki cloak too

kawanishi has an ENTIRE playlist of the naruto opening and ending tracks that he got from youtube and converted into mp3 format on youtube mp3 converter which he then downloaded and organized into a playlist with the album art when he was thirteen

sometimes you’ll hear him whistling Ikimono Gakari and everyone in the house is all 👂👂👂

tendou is the only one not lowkey about it but he’s not lowkey about anything he likes

and then one day you and tendou are in the kitchen and ushijima decides to watch tv while eating breakfast

while flipping through the channels he comes across the rock lee vs. gaara fight and he just decides to watch while eating

tendou’s like ‘wakatoshi? do you,,, like naruto?’

ushijima: is this naruto? it looks pretty cool

AND THEN YOU AND TENDOU JUST AMBUSH HIM AND GO INTO A TED TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME NARUTO IS

while you’re busy ranting about it, semi, goshiki, and reon, who recognize the unmistakable Sounds of Naruto, creep downstairs

semi: oh, cool. it’s naruto

reon: yeah, used to watch it when i was a kid

goshiki: hmm, seems like an alright show

and then USHIJIMA LOOKS AT GOSHIKI AND THEN AT ROCK LEE AND JUST GOES

‘hey, you remind me of that guy’

AND GOSHIKI ALMOST CRIES

reon and semi end up sitting on the couch, trying to hold in their middle-school selves while watching

and then kawanishi comes in and he’s just like OH MY GOD NARUTO!!

now almost everyone in the house is watching. at that part when rock lee drops his weights reon and semi jump off the couch and cheer

they can’t hold themselves back anymore

last but not the least, shirabu, who came back from class, walks into the living room to find all of his housemates cheering and crying in front of the TV that’s playing naruto

shirabu: omg u guys are lame

goshiki, sobbing: WE’RE NOT LAME IF WE FOLLOW OUR NINJA WAY

shirabu: welL, OBVIOUSLY THE BEST FIGHT SCENE IS WHEN NARUTO AND ROCK LEE GO AGAINST KIMIMARO YOU UNCULTURED FUCKS

and then he runs up to his room before coming down with THE FULL BLU-RAY DISC SET OF NARUTO ALL THE WAY UNTIL SHIPPUDEN

basically you guys end up watching naruto all day and semi finally admitted that he wasn’t watching porn the day you came into his room

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh@charliefredb@dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts@applepienation@doodleniella

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itmighthavebeenintentional · 3 years

Text

Shadows And Pills - 1

Summary: Some people come away from the Battle of New York with scars and broken bones. Some come away with nightmares and years of therapy ahead of them. Some don’t come away at all. Alexa comes away with a shadow.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Warnings: RAPE, Torture, Abuse, Self Harm, Negative Images of Psychological Services/Mental Health Professionals, Hallucinations, Stalking, Supernatural Horror, Prescription Drug Use and Eventual Abuse, Mental Illness, PTSD, Flashbacks of Violence, Flashbacks of Tragedy, Starving Oneself, Isolation, Physical and Mental Exhaustion, Denial, Self Neglect, Gaslighting, Mental Spiraling, Mental and Emotional Abuse

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: This is not a happy story in any sense, at any point. I could only write this at my lowest places, emotionally and mentally speaking, and I had a hard time coming back from it. This is dark, and it does not at any point get lighter. I relied heavily on my own experiences with mental struggles and took a few pieces here and there from my own experiences with mental health professionals. MY EXPERIENCES ARE MY OWN AND ARE NOT TYPICAL, NOT EVEN FOR ME. If you need mental help of any kind, please DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH OUT TO GET IT. This story was an exercise in mental exorcism, in a sense.

For all the Loki lovers out there, I do not shine him anything like a good or redeeming light here. He is evil incarnate, more or less. I love Loki, I love good Loki and redeemed Loki and misunderstood Loki and just about every incarnation thereof. I needed a villain, and he fit the story.

Above all, please be kind. This was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever written, and it took me years to work up the courage to post it. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me or send me an ask.

Thank you to @thoughtslikeaminefield and @glassjacket . I would not have made it through this story and would honestly not be here today with the two of you. I will never be able to tell you how much you mean to me.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Word Count: 1 - 3785; 2 - 3513; 3 - 1068

In Case You Missed It: ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

...

Shadows and Pills

Some people come away from the Battle of New York with scars and broken bones. Some come away with nightmares and years of therapy ahead of them. Some don’t come away at all.

Alexa comes away with a shadow.

In the weeks following the disaster, the public equally lauds and decries the Avengers, but while their opinions are divided over the heroes, the villain is universally denounced as nothing short of Satan himself, and the city throws an actual celebration the day Thor takes Loki back to Asgard to face the justice of their people.

Alexa, having not turned on her television since the day she got home from the hospital, ignores the boisterous celebrants and goes about her shopping, earbuds firmly in place, frown lines now permanently etched between her eyes and around her pinched lips.

“Routine will help you through some of the worst days,” her therapist tells her during one session. “Something familiar and safe to retreat to when the flashbacks are the worst. Just give it a try,” he adds at her disbelieving grimace.

And so she sets a routine.

Morning Routine: wake up. Ignore alarm, lie in bed an extra thirty minutes or so. Shower. Pretend to eat breakfast. Take meds (this one she never skips or shirks). Find something to wear. Stare at it for another ten minutes. Eventually get dressed. Contemplate keys for another fifteen minutes. Leave the goddamned apartment already.

Her routine has varying results, although she does admit to her therapist that life is marginally more bearable with the routine than without.

“It’s nice to have something to look forward to for the next day.”

Her therapist can’t quite hide his grimace at her flat, deadened tone, but she’s not being sarcastic or rude. She finds that going to bed at night is a trifle easier when she knows what’s going to happen the next day.

“So, who are we up to today?” the doctor asks, switching the subject with awkward abruptness. It’s been six weeks since Hell came to New York, and during their twice-weekly meetings, her therapist suggests going through each of the people she saw die in front of her that day, to get closure...or say goodbye...or something.

Sometimes Alexa wonders whether he just wants to hear the details for his own perverse pleasure.

“Brenda.”

Alexa robotically begins to list the personal details she knows...knew...about her floor manager. Unlike the mail room intern she discussed at their last meeting, the list for Brenda goes on for a while. She’s worked with Brenda since she started at the company, learning most of what she knows about her current job from the woman.

Brenda was kind, sharply intelligent, and mothering to everyone under her supervision, and yet she did it in a way that didn’t make anyone uncomfortable. She balanced work and a family long and well enough to both receive regular promotions within the company and also, very recently, become a new grandmother.

The backs of Alexa’s eyes sting as she remembers the photo Brenda showed her not twenty minutes before part of the building collapsed on top of half the department. Her jaw locks as the scene plays before her eyes again, the explosions and shrieks of metal drowning out the shrieks of the people only five feet away.

She closes her eyes, but there’s no pause button to freeze the scene, no power button to shut the images off as she turns in her memory and runs, making it to the stairwell and slamming the door open, turning back and screaming for Brenda, straining her eyes through the smoke and dust and mountains of falling debris. Brenda is running, reaching for Alexa even though she seems miles away, and then one of the file cabinets is thrown over, propelled faster and harder than should be possible, and...and…

And then Brenda isn’t running anymore. Her outstretched hand, the only part of her that wasn't crushed by office furniture, spasms against the ruined carpet, as if it thinks it’s reached its destination and is grasping at its savior.

Alexa’s hand tingles, and her fingers lock into her palm, nails fitting easily into the little grooves she dug there weeks ago. No blood, she only dug that deep once, but the furrows remain as permanently etched there as the frown lines on her face.

Alexa struggles to take in a labored breath as her therapist watches her with the appropriate amount of professional, clinical sympathy and detachment.

“Do your counting,” he reminds her.

How could she forget? She counts to three once, letting a breath out at the end. She repeats the process twice more, ignoring her therapist’s brief flash of annoyance at her departure from his “system.” But, for once, he doesn’t ask her why she has to deviate from the standard one-to-ten method and just lets her do the goddamned counting in peace.

Small blessings.

“Have you had any flashbacks since our last session?”

She stares at him, letting her gaze rest heavy and disbelieving as she turns his question over. She’s been averaging about five flashbacks a day, triggered by everything from accidentally brushing a stranger on the sidewalk (Jim knocking past her to get down the stairs just as the door on the stairwell behind her explodes inward; more shrieking, then falling, then dark) to lifting a carton of cold milk from the shelf at the grocery (that impossibly cold hand grasping hers, pulling her up from the rubble, bringing her face to face with...something...something in the...shadows, it was so dark there, and…).

“Yeah. I’ve had some flashbacks since our last session.”

“What sort of coping strategies did you use?”

He’s not even meeting her eyes now, just getting notes down on that damned pad. The scratching of his pen grates into her bones, and Alexa grits her teeth as she glares.

One, two, three.

Breathe.

One, two, three.

Breathe.

One, two, three.

Breathe.

She slowly recites the list of strategies he suggested during a previous session, none of which have proven particularly effective at lessening the frequency of the episodes, but most of which she grudgingly admits provide some slight relief afterwards and allow her to refocus her mind on the present rather than dwelling in the memory.

“And the shadows?”

How can he get this wrong every time when he’s taking all those fucking notes?

“Still just the one.”

“Has it manifested in any other way? Asked you to do anything? Do you feel different in any way when you notice it?”

There’s a distasteful eagerness to his words that always turns Alexa’s stomach, and she has to physically bite into her tongue to keep from asking what kind of bonus he gets for each symptom she shows of different mental illnesses.

“It’s just there sometimes. I..” She hesitates, feeling vaguely nauseated from his questions, but she has to be honest, right? Because, ultimately, it’s his job to help her, and she’s never going to get through this by hiding symptoms. He can’t help fix her if he doesn’t know what’s broken, and he did suggest the routine, so, okay, he gets a pass for this one.

“I still mostly only see it before I’m falling asleep. I’ve started seeing it in the late afternoon, as well, not often, but sometimes. Always in shadows that are already there. It doesn’t talk or anything, doesn’t really have any face or form except for vaguely person-shaped, but it...it watches me. And it’s...denser than it was last week. More...it’s thicker than it was, like when you see wispy clouds kind of...gather and turn into storm clouds?”

He nods, his pen whizzing over the legal pad he records their session notes on. “So, you feel threatened by the shadow? Like it’s storm clouds gathering to...what? It feels menacing?”

But, like most of the questions Alexa fences in this office, this one isn’t easily answered.

“It feels like it’s watching me, waiting for something. I don’t know what. I don’t...I don’t know if it’s menacing, exactly. Like, it feels potentially dangerous, but I can’t tell if it’s for me. I don’t know. It’s just...darker and more there this week, but it doesn’t do anything, and I don’t feel different, and it doesn’t speak to me. I. Don’t. Hear. Voices.”

She clips off each word at the end of her rant separately and precisely, repeating her counting in her head, and she forces her breathing to even out. The doctor is just doing his job, he’s just trying to help, he’s supposed to ask these questions, it’s how he helps-

“Hmm. I’ll have to consider that between now and our next meeting. In the meantime, go ahead and move up to the next dosage step with your meds, keep it on the escalating schedule we set.”

You set, she thinks mutinously for a moment before internally shaking her head. She nods, biting her tongue once more. She’s going to have a permanent indentation there as well, at this rate.

“Any side effects? Itching, swelling, difficulty breathing? Any unreasonable lethargy or detachment?”

“I mean...I don’t really have anything to attach to at this point, so…”

He frowns at her again, and she wonders if he’s going to crank up her dosage two notches instead of one.

“Are you having what you feel are typical emotional responses to everyday stimuli? Have you laughed or smiled at anything yet? How long has it been since you emotionally felt anything besides the frustration and panic?”

And, somehow, this question is difficult, too. She struggles through, trying to find a balance between honesty and not making herself look like a complete failure who can't function in life. She doesn’t help her case when she admits she hasn’t followed many of his suggestions beyond establishing a routine.

“Not even exercising?” he asks, his disappointment palpable.

When she silently shakes her head, her lips pinched tight against his disapproval, he shakes his head with a sigh that sings of ultimate betrayal. Instead of berating her as usual, the doctor frowns and looks down at his notes, considering them silently. He clicks his tongue against his teeth for a moment before switching over to end-session mode, robotically delivering his closing remarks, his typical reminders to keep her meds on a strict schedule at the exact time every day, to avoid all alcohol and unprescribed drugs, to keep her diet as clean and unprocessed as possible, and to get plenty of exercise. Even this last bit is delivered with a sharply clinical detachment, as if she has driven him to the brink of her own psychoses by stubbornly refusing to accept his help.

There is a short, silent moment between them where they refuse to look at each other, the doctor perusing his notes once more while Alexa examines the wrinkles creased into her jeans from lack of folding. The doctor flips pages over in his legal pad and slaps the cover shut sharply, breaking the standoff with one last, dismissive comment.

“Routine, Alexa. Stick to the routine. If it’s what brings you comfort, if that's the one thing you’re taking away from these sessions that actually helps, then stick with it. I’ll see you Thursday afternoon.”

….

Her afternoons vary, according to her therapy schedule. Her sessions take roughly an hour and a half, so that’s one block of time she doesn’t have to try and fill. On the days she isn’t having her skull cracked open, she can sometimes force herself to work on the files her company sends her way. Grunt work, brainless stuff that any first-year intern could do, but it keeps her on the payroll and covered by health insurance until the doctor clears her to return to the office.

Not that there’s an office to return to yet.

Grocery shopping for food she’ll pretend to eat later, making excuses to stay out of the apartment a little longer each day, watching the shadows of the buildings grow darker and longer until the sunlight disappears from the streets.

And the other shadow, the darkest of all, thick and solid against the brick and stone, pacing her, keeping track as she wanders through the broken city blocks. Sometimes she walks a little faster, pretends to not notice the black spot. Sometimes she pretends it’s keeping her company. With the most conversation she’s had in weeks taking place in her therapy sessions, she occasionally finds the imaginary company of her shadow stalker to be more pleasant than menacing.

Occasionally.

Eventually, though, she and her chimerical companion head back to the silent, encroaching walls of her apartment to begin the night routine.

…

Night Routine: laundry. Pretend to eat dinner. Shower. Finish laundry. Clean already clean kitchen. Another shower (on the bad days, the ash and debris won’t wash off). Rearrange already arranged closet. Braid hair. Take meds, do not skip, no matter how much they screw up her sleep, because they help. They do. Settle into bed. Stare at the wall. Adjust pillows. Re-settle. Stare at the shadow. Start to drift off, slide into a flashback, scream back to full consciousness. Watch the shadow. Doze. Awaken from a fucked up nightmare she can only partially remember. Repeat ad nauseum.

Really, if Alexa could just skip the nights and go straight into morning, that’d be great. Mornings are tedious but tolerable. Afternoons are blurry and tense, especially therapy days, but nights…

Nights just won't shut down.

The drugs are partially responsible, the doctor has told her multiple times. The medicine can either make sleeping more difficult, or it can act like a sedative, dragging and holding her down. Honestly, she’s getting kind of mixed results. It’s difficult to stay awake, easy to slip under, but then she can’t stay asleep for very long, jerking back to consciousness in something close to full panic, unable to figure out if it’s the drugs or the dreams that’s pushing her to the edge.

Because the fucked up dreams...well, that’s all on her and her broken brain. She stopped bringing up the dreams in therapy after the first couple of weeks of sessions. The doctor seemed hell bent on steering Alexa towards the possibility that she was experiencing waking hallucinations, but there’s no way she could possibly be awake for all this shit. Maybe some of the flashbacks, but not…

Not…

Her brain isn’t that broken.

No. No, she can tell from the way she jerks to consciousness afterwards, she knows she’s asleep. Yeah, she’s unstable and has flashbacks, but she’s not delusional. They’re dreams.

Every night.

About…

Something.

Okay, sometimes she can remember. Sometimes the meds dull her down so much she forgets what day it is, but sometimes she can hold on to a detail or two. Cold, slender fingers, impossibly strong. A flash of bright blue that sends nausea racing through her entire body (who knew your toes could feel nauseated?) or a glimpse of bottle green that, conversely, thrills her to her soul. A smooth, velvet voice that penetrates every layer of her being, down to the deepest recesses. Darkness descending...a sense of dreadful awe…

And sometimes she can remember every unhinged detail with a terrifying clarity that she will never even consider mentioning to the therapist. Not if she likes her jacket sleeves to fit properly.

There’s honesty, and then there’s idiocy.

The shadow is larger tonight. Taller, a little broader, definitely denser. She would say looming, even, but it’s not quite that large.

Not quite.

She stares at it openly, no longer trying to avoid acknowledging its presence. What's the point? The doctor knows about it, and it’s not like she’s talking to it. She’s not that far gone yet. And she hasn't lied to the doctor, either. The shadow does watch her, like it’s waiting, gathering. Convalescing. But it hasn't ever talked to her.

She does not hear voices.

She yawns and rolls her shoulders, left then right, sliding a little lower in bed, searching for a cooler place between the sheets. Movement catches her eye, and she looks up as the shadow shifts, leaning left then right, and seems to…

Grow?

No, it’s never moved before. She’s pretty sure she’s never seen it move, but now it pulses and raises up, stretching-

No. No. Sourceless shadows don’t move. They don’t grow, they don’t shift, they don’t-

The shadow stretches upwards abruptly, definitely looming now, and Alexa hits the wall behind the bed, scrambling backwards in a blind panic as she realizes the shadow isn’t growing.

It’s coming closer.

Her breathing speeds up, but her limbs are heavy and dull with narcotic stupor. The foot of her bed darkens as the shadow creeps even closer, and she opens her mouth to protest, to scream, to say something, but her tongue is numb and stupid with the acrid, coppery tang of fear and pharmaceuticals, and she hates, hates this kind of dream where she can’t speak, can't move and she can barely breathe, and...and…

The shadow reaches out, stretches over her foot and slides up her calf in a clammy, viscous caress that tightens on her knee and pulls her several inches down the bed as her throat closes.

Do not shrink from Me. It is not your fear I crave, but your adoration. Come to Me, allow yourself to move past the fear and embrace what I wish to grant you.

Horror, deep and instinctual, floods her veins. Alexa feels the voice more than hears it, and it awakens an ancient fear that finally, though futilely, awakens her drugged limbs. She claws at her sheets uselessly as the shadow moves over her, a freezing oil slick that oozes against her skin as if her blankets and clothes weren’t even there, sending shivers to the very marrow of her bones as her gorge rises, and she chokes on the bile that singes the back of her throat. She can’t fight, can’t move against this intangible force, but neither will her terror let her sink past the fear to blissful unawareness.

Give over. Let go of your stubborn fear that tethers you to this useless reality. Allow Me entrance, and I will grant you the relief you seek. Release your grip on the world that cares nothing for you, and I shall bestow upon you the peace you so desperately crave.

Her skin raises in gooseflesh everywhere the shadow crosses, and her stomach turns as it squeezes its way up her torso, her chest, her throat, slipping over her lips in a sick parody of a lover’s caress. She opens her mouth - to scream, to breathe, to do something - and the shadow plunges inwards, invading her mouth, her throat, coating her inside and out with a thick, glutinous sensation that leaves her mouth hanging obscenely open, tongue thrashing, while her mind screams useless denials.

Submit to Me what you see I can easily take, give Me My due. Give over, drown in Me, and I will save you from this miserable existence.

And she is drowning, the air pressed from her lungs as a dark heaviness settles solidly over her. Her arms are forced over her head, and she is strung out on her twisted sheets, writhing under the weight of the shadow as it presses over every surface, against every entrance. No matter how she strains, her legs are gradually forced apart. The darkness’s lack of speed is affected, some barely functioning bit of her brain whispers to her; it could take her as swiftly as it cares to and is only moving slowly because it wants her to suffer, wants to taste her anguish. She has no chance against the shadow, she can’t even touch it, really she could just save herself the anxiety and fear and just-

NO.

She twists as hard as she can, but the shadow simply moves with her, flows over her, waits until she takes another breath, and then surges between her thighs, driving her torso off the bed with the force of its thrust. Every cell in her body locks, not in pain, but in complete revulsion. And then again, and again, cruel in the thoroughness of its violation, covering and saturating every crevice of her being, coating and tainting everything it touches.

Wrong, can't...stop, stop, stop, wrong, can’t...God, please…

You cannot rely on yourself, on your own mind for proper guidance. Let Me protect you. Let Me save you from yourself.

How long...minutes...hours...years...just stop, please…please-

The alarm clock shrieks right in her goddamned ear, and she can breathe and move and scream and goddammit, she fucking hates those dreams that send her careening onto the floor, scrambling for cover when she can’t even remember what she's running from.

Her morning routine is already in shambles. There’s no ignoring the alarm clock today. A morning shower maybe, to wash off the sticky aftermath of night sweats, definitely, but no lying about, staring at the walls in a sleep-daze. Definitely washing the sheets tonight, too.

She surveys what she can see of her bed from her crumpled position on the floor in front of the closet and sighs. Must’ve been a hell of a nightmare to tear up the covers that badly. She thinks for a moment of trying a little harder to remember, to recall some piece of the dream, but then her stomach flips over, and she summarily rejects that idea in favor of caffeination and medication.

She allows herself another few minutes on the floor, waiting until her respiratory and heart rates return to a less alarming pace before climbing to her quivering knees. The shadow darkens the far corner of the room, as innocuous as always. Though she doesn’t know why, she can’t help an involuntary flinch when she first sees it. It’s not normally present in the morning, at least, she doesn’t think so...well, she can't remember the shadow being so dark in the mornings, at least. But...

She clears her throat against the thickness that seems to coat it suddenly, and readjusts her plan to include a glass of water before she starts in on the coffee. She realizes after another long moment of staring that her hands are trembling along with her legs. Her jaw clenches, and she knows she’s being ridiculous. It’s a damned shadow. It just sits there. It’s a minor manifestation of a mild psychosis secondary to major psychological trauma. It’s just a damned dark spot; it doesn’t change, doesn't want her to do anything, and it definitely doesn’t fucking talk to her.

She. Does. Not. Hear. Voices.

…

Up Now: 2

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chronicbatfictioner · 3 years

Text

Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 18

With Alfred in the mix, it was fairly easy for them to acquire the serum Bane seemed to have injected into him diligently every morning. The Drake Industries' laboratory quickly dissected the remnant within the syringe and discerned its contents.

And make an antidote.

"It's called Venom," Tim reported to Barbara, "a synthetic steroid that is... worse than steroid, I'd say. It doesn't make you dumb, unfortunately. But it also increased the user's strength by tenfold - not just the size of the muscles - with every use."

"I thought Bane seemed to have gotten taller since three months ago..." Barbara muttered. "So you're going through with the plan?"

"I... can't think of a better, non-lethal plan. Alfred said that the supply of syringes is depleting, and he would have a new one delivered from Santa Prisca by the end of the month - which will be in a week." Tim replied. "Plus, I have no idea of the dosage if I were to administer the Venom antidote. Still, I've heard of the rumors of the Al Ghuls using food as untraceable poisons or something like truth serum. But I'm kind of scared to think that it's actually true."

"Me, I'm not surprised. I've sent Dinah and Helena to Santa Prisca, where Bane said to have come from - to find the source and destroy it. Tim, if this thing hits the street..." she sighed.

"We're screwed nine ways to Sunday. I know. But here's the thing, Babs... you see the footage of him tampering the guys' car?"

"Yes, what about it?" Barbara asked.

"His mouth was moving. I'm not that good of a lip-reader, yet, I don't know what he's saying. But it looked to me as if he was talking on the phone or something, and I didn't see him carry a phone." Tim explained.

Barbara's expression - not Oracle, because they were in a secure channel, after all - showed that she just had the same eureka moment. "Tim, if you're right..."

"I'm sure I'm right. Everything I've read about Bane showed that he was mostly the muscle. He broke out of Peña Duro prison - which is where aunt Dinah and Helena should focus their attention - because somebody supplied him with steroids, so the reports said. I think somebody gave him venom, and he escaped. He came back like, a month later and killed all guards and throw out their bodies into the ocean. He came back, Babs. This is someone who was raised in the prison with virtually no known family outside. Where did he come back from?" Tim explained.

"That's logical... he would have to have someone to take care of him outside. Someone who has enough money to get in and out of Peña Duro, or to produce this Venom thingy, and then get Bane to trust him?" Barbara pointed out.

"Babs, trust me. When you're used to be alone, the first act of kindness shown to you would have earned the giver your trust until proven otherwise." Tim blurted out and cringed. The first person ever to show him an act of kindness was Selina, and then Barbara.

"Projecting, much?" Barbara smiled good-naturedly. "I get your point, though. Unfortunately, we haven't got any cellphone bugs in the Wayne Manor to figure out who Bane was talking to. But... I can probably help with the lip-reading part..."

"Yeah?"

"There's this kid at the library who's really good with lip-reading and body language reading. Her name is Cassandra. She isn't deaf, though, just can't talk much. I guessed that she was abused and raised in seclusion without being taught spoken language, to the point where she could understand body language better than normal language. I've been talking to her using signs and pictograms, but she's learning the language quickly. I'll see if I can get her to figure out what was said."

"Okay... is she living alone?"

"I've set her up with a friend of Harper's, Stephanie Brown. They seemed to get along alright," she smirked. "Stephanie is... kind of a talker."

"Cute, a girl who can't talk with a girl who can't stop talking." Tim deadpanned. "But let me know if it works, yeah? I'm a little more anxious with Jason's cooking than the poisoning stuff. They invited me, by the way."

"I'm sure he would," Barbara smirked again.

"What's the smirk about?" Tim demanded half-heartedly. "You, Selina, Dinah... what is it that you ladies talked about behind my back, anyway?"

"Oooh... let's just say the mamas and big sis of the crew is worried that their little kitten is growing up too fast," Barbara replied blithely.

"Baaaabs!" Tim bleated exasperatedly. "What even! We're in a mission here that is of the long-term persuasion and against someone so vile it's not even funny!"

"Tiiim...!" Barbara replied in the same tone mockingly. "I don't mind! None of us do! I mean, hey, if he swings this way, I'm sure a number of us girls would've loved to get his numbers, too! But anyway," she inhaled sharply, indicating her wanting to get back to the matter at hand. "I have no idea whatsoever of what kind of... concoction Jason is planning to use. Or what he's going to do after he arrived at his objective. But everyone's safety is our objective, yeah? And by everyone, I mean all humans there including Bane. If he seemed to be dying..."

"I'll call paramedics right away. And there's Dr Wayne, anyway." Tim reminded her.

"I've got to tell you, Tim, Dr Wayne doesn't look too good..." Barbara warned. "He looked like he's aged by twenty years in the past few months alone."

"Yeah, I've noticed. Alfred is sure that within the house, his diet is fine. But he'd often go out or overseas with Bane..." Tim agreed. "I hope it's just stress..."

"Same here. So far, though, from what I've seen, nothing in Jason's list of ingredients seemed... illegal..." Barbara commented.

"This is coming from someone who once told her dad not to mix hypertension meds with grapefruit." Tim deadpanned.

"Well that one is tried and true, and not a simple old wives' tale. I am aware that some food has an adverse reaction to medications. But really, these ingredients looked... well, like a restaurant's. Like a whole Asian region's worth of restaurants being imported directly from places through the entire continent. And we're literally dealing with someone who was taught to make candies poisonous..."

"'Not poisonous, just lethal' - so Damian told me."

"Comforting," Barbara remarked dryly. "You sure Jason said it wouldn't be harmful to others?"

"Yes, that's what he said. But he won't elaborate. Believe me, Babs, I've tried."

"Maybe it's an aphrodisiac?" Barbara suggested. Tim rolled his eyes.

"Really."

"Selina isn't invited, though. Or Vicky..." she corrected herself.

"Ew, seriously."

#Batless!AU #Tim Drake #Barbara Gordon #oracle!barbara #stray!tim #JayTim #Jason Todd #Alfred Pennyworth #Damian Wayne #Birds of Prey

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izukuwus · 4 years

Text

Bunny Eyes

A/N: I JUST WANTED TO WRITE BUNNYZUKU GETTING DISAPPOINTED AND BEING CUTE HOW DID THIS HAPPEN BUT Y’ALL WANTED THE SICKFIC SO HERE’S THE SICKFIC

Summary: Saying 'no' to your boyfriend is hard enough, does he have to make you feel so guilty when you’re already sick? (bunny!Izuku x sick!reader, fluff)

Warnings: uh none, the reader has the flu and has flu symptoms but I didn’t go into like, gross descriptions

Word count: 2600+ (HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT AND SWEET)

Your boyfriend might be just a little bit evil.

Not in the traditional sense, no, Izuku's too pure and kind and good for this world. Reckless, selfless, and all around perfect.

But he's evil and he knows if he just looks at you just right, you won't be able to say no.

Currently, you're bed-bound from a nasty flu that's been making you feel absolutely miserable. When you're not asleep, the farthest you've been able to go is being miserable on your balcony in the fresh air (usually at night, since this damn flu has absolutely slam dunked your sleep schedule) or sneaking on to your computer to game, exhaustion and dizziness and all manner of symptoms making even sitting up for too long a chore.

You have to thank whatever powers are out there for Izuku's loving hand in your recovery. You don't trust yourself to make it all the way downstairs to the kitchen from your fourth-floor dorm room, and without even asking, he's stopped by every morning and afternoon since you got sick to bring you food, including a few simple pre-packed things to choke down for lunch and extra bottles of water. Not that you've been particularly hungry, but on the rare occasion you feel well enough to choke something down, thanks to him, you've actually been able to.

He's constantly been worried over you, since even before you started dating in your first year, but the flu picking you up and effortlessly slamming you through the floor certainly hasn't helped that. Still, he's so sweet, and by this point (day 5 since you got sick, but who’s counting?) he's basically the only sunshine you're getting. You're sure if your bunny-eared boyfriend didn't have class to go to (and Aizawa was adamant that he still attend class), he'd be at your side every moment, fussing over you and making sure you eat, stay hydrated, and take your medicine.

Unluckily for you (or perhaps luckily—your medicine tastes utterly vile and isn't helping your stomach settle any more), he's had class every day since you got sick, and he can't afford to fall behind even if he's apparently spending most of his time in class worrying over how you're doing alone in your dorm.

Whether him being at class every day is lucky or unlucky, the opposite is true for today. (Or is it tomorrow? What time is it again?) It's the weekend, meaning he's got no other obligations to deal with, so you can and do expect him to want to spend every moment doting and fussing and using those damn eyes to get you to relent and take your disgusting medicine.

On one hand, score, cute boy acting as your nurse. On the other hand, if he spends all day in your room tending to your sick-people needs, he's gonna get sick, and it'll be an utter nightmare trying to get him to take his medicine and actually rest. God knows he'll be trying to sneak in studying when you're not keeping an eye on him. You'll probably have to confiscate his weights so he doesn't try to work out while he's still sick. (Not that you aren't almost just as bad, but at least you're not a rabbit with godlike ability in terms of sheer power and speed to make it harder to deal with.)

As much as you'd adore having his presence with you to make you go from miserable to "miserable but also very aware of how in love you are and being forced to take gross meds" (which kinda cancels itself out), you don't want him getting sick or wasting his whole day on you. Also, you get the feeling he's probably smart enough to figure out that you haven't been resting as much as you say you have. For now, at least, you're sat on your balcony, leaned up against the railing lightly to get some fresh air. And that's where you fall asleep, exhaustion hitting you like so many trucks.

When you wake up, you're being cradled against Izuku's chest and carried to your bed. You shiver, feeling both heat and cold overtake you, and tears prick at your eyes as you realize your fever has almost definitely come back in full force. Izuku pulls back your covers and lays you down, not noticing you're awake until he moves to drape the blanket back over your body. His rabbit ears stand at full attention, his face lighting up just a moment before a playfully chiding look comes on his face.

"You shouldn't be sleeping outside like that, love, you'll get even more sick. And based on how hot you felt when I picked you up, you did." He places his hands on his hips, frowning even as you note the sparkle of affection in his eyes. You're not sure he's even capable of getting actually mad at you.

"Sorry," you mumble, bringing the covers up to hide your face and how utterly awful you look before deciding almost immediately that you're going to overheat under these covers. You writhe about just enough to kick them off, already feeling sweat form on your skin. "The air felt really nice."

You end up throwing a pillow over your face so at least the worst part of you is hidden, hugging it close when Izuku laughs and tries to move it away. "I brought breakfast, please quit hiding so you can eat?"

"But I look like shit," you whine into the pillow. "I don't even have the energy to get downstairs. I had to wash my hair in my bathroom sink."

Warm hands find their way to your wrists, gently prying your hands and the pillow away so you can meet his adoring gaze. If you weren't already flushed from fever, you'd probably have the energy for a blush to find its way to your face. "You're perfect, starshine," he says softly, causing your heart to stutter and your body to instantly melt. His library of pet names never ceases to pull you further into love.

Before you can find some response, he crosses the room to your desk, where he apparently set his Nurse Deku Kit™ so he could carry you back inside. You shift a bit to lean up against your wall, watching in amusement as the giant cotton ball he calls a tail twitches a little bit. You hope, idly, that he doesn't notice that your computer's only in sleep mo—

He bumps the mouse by accident, and the screen lights up immediately, showing your games library with a very obvious "recently played" list. Busted.

He lets out a little sigh as he turns back to you with a thermometer in hand. "Princess..."

You try hard not to look like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and smile innocently at him as he approaches. He sits on the side of your bed, and you tilt your head. "Something wrong?"

He holds out the thermometer, and you obediently let him stick it underneath your tongue, knowing he won't let you out of having your temperature taken. "Have you been resting?"

You nod. He hums, clearly not believing you. "Are you feeling up to eating anything?"

Your nose scrunches up, your stomach turning at the thought. "Ughf," you force out around the thermometer.

Izuku frowns, ruffling your hair as the thermometer beeps. He takes it from you, and his nose twitches as he reads the number. You'd fawn over how adorable it is if not for the look of worry that crosses his features. "Your fever's back, starshine. I really need you to rest more for me, okay?"

Not that you're planning on arguing, but it's really hard to have the will to when his ears drop down and he gives you a look like you just kicked a puppy. You nod, and he perks up just a bit, placing a new water bottle on your nightstand and reaching for a box of crackers. "I know you're not feeling up to eating, but can you do me a favor and eat just one cracker?"

You compromise with half a cracker before your body threatens to revolt for your hubris. You pause, forcing yourself to swallow it, and chase it with a bit of water. With Izuku's coaxing words and a minor break, you manage to choke down the rest without getting even sicker, and he gives you a strained smile that still manages to light up the room.

He leans forward, and you sense his intentions, narrowing your eyes and putting a hand up in front of his lips. "No."

Izuku lets out a disgruntled noise that's a mix between a grunt and a whine when his lips meet your fingers. "Baby," he whines out.

"No!" you insist. "You'll get sick, 'Zuku."

"But I miss you," he says as his ears fall all the way back, his eyes reminding you of one of those adoption commercials with all the sad animals that make you cry every time. "Please, starshine?"

Shit. You're already desperately trying to bring your resolve back. You swear he's figured out exactly how to get you to do what he wants, but you won't falter this time! "No kisses. I shouldn't even be letting you stay in the room to take care of me."

As if the bunny eyes and the oh-so-adorably-expressive ears weren't enough, he wiggles closer to you, taking your hand in both of his and running his thumb over it. "I got my flu shot, I'll be fine! I promise!" He pauses, pouting a bit. You can't tell if it's him thinking or another way to express how disappointed he is. "Please baby? Honey? Sweetheart? Starshine? Princess? Rosebud? Light of my life?"

"Nooo," you press with a giggle as he continues running through every possible pet name he can in a playfully pleading tone. "I know you got your flu shot, but so did I, and here I am."

"Still..." He keeps those damn green eyes (that's the official name for that shade, damn green) locked on yours sadly, and the guilt spikes in your stomach. "Just one?"

And like that, your resolve crumbles. "You're evil, you know that?" you mumble, tearing your eyes away. They dart back just in time to see his whole being light up, rabbit ears effortlessly perking up from their previous saddened position. "Using such a dirty trick. You get one."

You'd continue berating him for the crime of using his adorable face to get what he wants, but he immediately takes your face in his hands and begins showering your face with kisses–your cheeks, your nose, your forehead–everywhere except your lips, which he saves for last, a slow, sweet, chaste kiss that leaves you melting.

"Izuku..." you whine as he pulls away. "I said one."

He chuckles, resting his forehead against yours. "Sorry, starshine. I couldn't help myself."

Your playful ire melts at the way his eyes flutter shut in contentment, small smiles on both of your lips. He surely knows by now that it's impossible for you to say no, not when he's this damn cute.

A giggle surges out of you, followed by a coughing fit that you desperately cover in your elbow. When you catch your breath, you smirk at him, eyes sparkling. "If you get sick because of this, I'm confiscating your weights so you can't try to train."

"Alright, alright, I get it. You haven't taken your medicine yet today, right?" You wince, turning your head away preemptively. "'Zu-kun..." you whine.

"[name]..." His tone is gently chiding as he prepares the medicine, unscrewing the cap with one hand and gently placing the other under your cheek and pushing you back to face him. "You're not gonna get better if you keep trying to skip your medicine and sneak onto the computer instead of resting."

"But if I take the medicine, I might throw up the cracker, and it was so hard to eat just the one..." You give him your best puppy eyes, but he only smiles fondly and shakes his head, continuing to measure out your dose.

“You'll get all the cuddles when you're better if you take your medicine like you're supposed to," he promises.

You pout, but when he extends the dose cup filled with liquid distaste, you begrudgingly take it, downing it like the least pleasant shot you've ever had in your life. You gag on the swallow, but you down every drop, pouting at Izuku when it's all down. "Happy?"

"Very. You did a good job, princess." He ruffles your hair, and you really wish you could muster the energy to be flustered at the praise like you normally would, but honestly, you already feel yourself kind of drifting back off. Determined, you shoot him a smile and try to distract yourself from sleepiness.

"I know it's a weekend, but if I stay in bed and promise to get rest, can I get away with asking to see your notes from class?" You plead, giving him your best puppy-eyed look.

"I don't know, you haven't shown me a very good track record of actually resting," he says teasingly, not yet having looked at you as he rifles through his little kit for something else.

"'Zu-kun," you whine, stifling a yawn. "I don't wanna go to sleep yet. Please?"

Izuku disappears into your bathroom for a moment, followed shortly by the sound of running water, and when he emerges to see your pleading look, you can see his own resolve crumble.

Two can play at his little pleading game.

He smooths a hand over your forehead to move your hair out of the way, laying a blue towel over your sweat-slicked forehead that's cold, far too cold—

You let out a whine as you shiver. "How is it even that cold?" You mumble, shifting into your blankets more in an attempt to balance the heat.

"Oh, it's one of those exercise towels," he explains. "They're made so they get really cold when they're wet. I want to try to bring your temperature down, but if it's way too cold, I can get a regular towel instead–"

You shake your head. The cold does feel soothing, underneath all the cold cold cold so cold making you shiver. "Notes?" you remind him.

He leans forward and presses a quick peck to the towel in your forehead before you can stop him. "I love you, [name], but it can wait until you're feeling better."

"So can kisses," you retort, swatting at him lightly. "I don't wanna be useless the whole time I'm sick, so—" You break off into a yawn. "—so please let me study a bit?"

"Try to eat half of one more cracker before you fall asleep and I might consider it when you wake up," he says with a teasing grin. You pout and hold out your hand for him to place the broken cracker in.

"I hate having crumbs in my bed," you mutter, nibbling away at the cracker. You barely manage to eat the half you were given, your body protesting your attempts to actually eat and keep something down all the while, but you do manage it.

Izuku's fingers entwine with your own, a fond smile on his face as you feel yourself nodding off. "[Name]?"

"Mm?"

"I love you. Get better soon, okay?"

"Love you too," you reply sleepily, another yawn wracking your body. "Sorry. I wanted to stay up and... talk with you... but..."

A hand finds its way into your hair to play with it as your eyes drift shut. "It's okay," he says adoringly, "We'll talk later. Get some rest, princess."

#midoriya izuku x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bunny!izuku #deku x reader #my fics

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writerofthecourt · 4 years

Text

ikanaide

pairing: shirabu kenjirou x reader

summary: when you receive an enrollment offer from the art school of your dreams, you are left with the tough decision of choosing between love and your future

warning: slight time skip spoilers

a/n: for the lovely anon who requested this. thank you for your patience! this was the second request from my 200 followers event. also, if it wasn’t obvious from the context, this takes place during shirabu’s third year at shiratorizawa

“Guys!” you shouted in bubbly excitement as you approached the lunch table seating the three males.

“Hello, [Y/N]-san!” Goshiki happily greeted as he attempted to match your level of enthusiasm while Kawanishi simply settled for a casual wave of his hand.

Sending them both a charming smile, you promptly sat next to Shirabu, who continued to silently eat his lunch without so much as a glance towards your direction. Although your boyfriend made no overt signs of acknowledging your presence, you could tell by the minuscule smile on his face that he was happy to have you there.

“You guys will never believe what just happened!” you exclaimed as you rifled through your bag and proudly presented an unassuming envelope. “Read it!”

Shrugging his shoulders, Kawanishi was the first one to move, plucking the envelope from your awaiting hand to read the letter inside.

“It’s in English,” Kawanishi remarked with a curious raise of his eyebrow. This immediately caught Shirabu’s attention, as he now looked away from his food to focus on Kawanishi instead.

“Read who it’s from,” you explained with excitement.

Following your instructions, Kawanishi’s eyes quickly glided across the paper before they shot back up to stare at you in complete shock and amazement. “You got in?!”

You giggled in response. “Yeah! I got accepted this morning!”

“Wow, congrats,” Kawanishi responded as he handed back the letter and its accompanying envelope with a smirk. “Try not to forget about us once you head off to your fancy art school, yeah?”

“Wait,” Goshiki interrupted, trying to piece together the exchange between you and Kawanishi. “‘Fancy art school?’ Does that mean you got accepted into the university that you wanted to go to, [Y/N]-san? The one that’s overseas?”

Nodding your head in confirmation, Goshiki couldn’t help but gaze at you in awe before he quickly offered his own words of congratulations. Before you knew it, the conversation soon transformed into a discussion about your plans for university and the future in general.

“Does that mean you’ll be leaving Japan?” Goshiki asked in excitement.

“I haven’t decided yet,” you answered truthfully. “I was so sure that I was going to get rejected, so I didn’t make any plans beyond just applying.”

“You should go, [Y/N]-san!” Goshiki encouraged with a happy grin. “You’re so talented! It’d be a waste not to accept their offer.”

“For once, I agree with Goshiki,” Kawanishi chimed in. “You should go. It’s a great opportunity.”

“Yeah, but the logistics,” you reminded them woefully, leaning your head to rest against Shirabu’s shoulder. “Plus, my English isn’t the best.”

“Your English is fine,” Kawanishi brushed off. “You’ll get better.”

As you, Kawanishi, and Goshiki continued to converse about the pros and cons concerning your potential enrollment, none of you noticed the nauseated look on Shirabu’s face as he subtly pushed away his food tray, no longer having the appetite to continue his lunch.

“It’s so cold!” you exclaimed, trying to shield yourself from the chilly February air.

“I told you to put on more layers this morning,” Shirabu snapped as he unwound his red scarf to securely wrap it around your neck. Once he was sure that you were warm, he laced your fingers together before placing both hands into his coat pocket and leading you towards the bus stop.

“Thank you, Kenjirou.”

Although it was completely routine at this point, you still couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty for making your boyfriend leave the warmth and comfort of his dorm room every day after school to walk you to your bus stop.

“Stop it,” Shirabu sighed in annoyance, almost as if he could hear your thoughts. “It’s not a big deal, okay? I do this because I want to, not because I have to.”

Stifling a giggle, you brought the soft material of the scarf up higher to your nose, trying your best to hide the smile that was threatening to take over your face. Despite his frosty disposition, you knew that your boyfriend cared a lot more than he was willing to let on.

“Only a few more months until graduation,” you mused, taking in the beautiful sight of cascading snowflakes from all around you.

Your boyfriend hummed in acknowledgement as the short conversation soon fell into a comfortable lull. After a few more seconds, Shirabu finally spoke up. “Are you going to accept your enrollment offer? The one that you were talking about at lunch today.”

“I’m not sure,” you mumbled. “I got accepted into a local university too, but going to school overseas? That just seems like an opportunity that I shouldn’t ignore.”

“Then what’s holding you back?” Shirabu scoffed. “The choice is obvious.”

“Well,” you casted a discreet glance towards the male beside you before lowering your voice into a soft murmur, “if I do go, there’d be some very important things that I’d have to leave behind, and I don’t want that.”

“What could possibly be more important than your future?” Shirabu challenged. “Stop being dumb and just accept the offer.”

“Can we stop talking about this?” you asked with a slight frown, no longer have the energy or willingness to continue on with the conversation. You were slowly becoming weary of this topic and everyone’s constant worrying about your future and what was supposedly good for you.

Shirabu only copied your expression before answering you with a monotone response. “Fine.”

As the two of you neared the bus stop, the hostile tension that surrounded both you and Shirabu was uncomfortable and nerve-wracking. You hated it, but you also knew that it was kind of your fault.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” you said as you spotted the approaching bus from down the street.

“Yeah,” Shirabu agreed, letting go of your hand and not meeting your eyes as he spoke.

When the bus finally arrived at your stop, you were about to turn around and wave goodbye to Shirabu, only to stop yourself once you saw that he was already making his way back towards the dorms. You tried not to appear upset as you proceeded to board the bus and scan your card.

No matter what you did, you couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling that followed you for the rest of the way home.

“Did something happen between you and Shirabu?” Kawanishi casually asked as he waited for you to purchase your drink from one of the school’s various vending machines.

“What do you mean?” you replied calmly, trying to pretend as if his question didn’t bother you in the slightest.

“Well,” Kawanishi began. “For the whole afternoon, you looked like you were on the verge of crying.”

“Okay, now you’re just exaggerating,” you remarked as you landed a light punch on the former volleyball player’s arm.

“Maybe,” Kawanishi chuckled. “But the two of you didn’t sit next to each other at lunch today, and you guys seem rather distant.”

Taken aback by his superb observation skills, you decided that there was no point in trying to hide the truth from Kawanishi.

“We got into a small fight,” you sighed. “You know how stubborn Kenjirou is. We’ll be fine…”

“Well, if you say so,” Kawanishi conceded, though it was evident from his eyes that he was still a little concerned.

“We’ll be fine,” you repeated, more so trying to convince yourself than your friend.

Yet with each passing day, the distance between you and Shirabu grew farther and farther. Despite your best efforts, conversations were now strained and awkward, and lunch periods were spent with Shirabu constantly avoiding your eyes. It was almost as if the two of you were nothing more than strangers, and this notion absolutely terrified you.

“What’s been up with you lately?” you asked Shirabu one day after school, finally fed up with his behaviour. “You’ve been ignoring me and acting really standoffish.”

Gripping the handle of your school bag, you ignored the sharp, stabbing pain in your heart as Shirabu continued to impassively stare at you.

“Kenjirou, just talk to me,” you pleaded. “I want us to go back to the way we used to be…”

After what felt like an eternity, Shirabu finally responded. “I think we should break up.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not fully comprehending his words. “What are you talking-”

“Didn’t you hear me?” Shirabu snapped harshly. “I said we should break up.”

“W-where is this coming from?” you asked in confusion, genuinely hurt and surprised by his demand.

“I’ve been thinking…about university and the future. Even if you do stay in Japan, what then?” Shirabu inquired with a scowl on his face. “We’re not going to the same school, and even if we did, when will we have time for each other? I’ll be too busy studying for med school, and you’ll have your own life and schedule. It’s all bound to fail, so why even bother trying?”

Registering his words, you paused for a moment, trying to fully process Shirabu’s explanation and reasoning.

“Are you kidding me?” you scoffed with a humourless laugh. “Are you serious right now? Do you really have such little faith in our relationship that you’re not even willing to take a chance and make it work?!”

“…I’m not sure if you’re worth risking my future over.”

That was the final nail in the coffin.

“Fine,” you conceded, forcing yourself not to cry. “I know I can’t change your mind after you’ve decided something. You’ve always been stubborn like that.”

Peering into his eyes, you attempted to find some sort of indication that this was just a cruel, twisted joke or something, but all you found was the harsh frigidness that Shirabu Kenjirou was famed for. You thought it was a shame that such beautiful eyes could hold so much disdain and coldness.

“I didn’t want to accept my overseas enrollment offer because I was scared,” you confessed, wanting to at least explain yourself one last time to the male in front of you. “I didn’t want to leave you. I was willing to give up my future because I wanted to stay with you. Ironic, isn’t it? Maybe breaking up was the right decision…I-I guess this is goodbye.”

As you hesitantly turned around and began to walk away, you didn’t notice how the cold, practised facade slowly slipped away from Shirabu’s face, revealing the completely heartbroken expression that he wore underneath. It took everything for him to not break down at that moment.

“I already knew why,” Shirabu murmured with a wry smile. “Now you have nothing holding you back.”

The journey home was nothing more than a blur to you. Rushing upstairs, you threw yourself onto your bed and let out a heart-wrenching sob into your pillow. It took a couple more minutes before the tears finally stopped, and you were left with nothing more than a stuffy nose and broken heart.

As you lifelessly lay in bed, your eyes landed on the envelope that was inconspicuously resting on top of your desk, the very same one that had unintentionally caused you all of this heartache. The more you stared at it, the more it dawned on you. What was holding you back now? The primary reason for your reluctance was no longer a concern, so maybe…

Picking up on the faint sound of a new email notification, you blindly searched around for your phone before quickly giving up.

You didn’t have the energy to deal with any of this right now.

Weeks passed by, and although the pain didn’t lessen, you were definitely getting better. It was difficult at first, especially for your two mutual friends who tried not to pick a side.

Before you knew it, graduation day had soon arrived. You were happy to be moving on with your life, but you also couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness as you stared at the diploma in your hand. You were going to miss Shiratorizawa, along with the memories that you had created there, both good and bad. Time truly was fleeting…

“[Y/N]-san!” Goshiki wailed as he wrapped his arms around your unsuspecting form and pulled you into a tight hug. “I-I’m going to miss you!”

“G-Goshiki, I can’t breathe,” you managed to say.

Realizing his mistake, Goshiki mumbled a quick apology before releasing you from his hold. Kawanishi, who had witnessed the whole exchange, bit back a chuckle and only shook his head in amusement.

“I’m going to miss you too, Goshiki,” you reassured as you ruffled the volleyball player’s inky black hair. “It’s a shame that I won’t get to see my favourite ace play in person anymore, but just know that I’ll always be cheering you on, okay?”

“[Y-Y/N]-san…”

“All right, no more tears,” Kawanishi interjected, delivering a light chop to the back of Goshiki’s head before he turned to address you. “So, you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you chuckled. “What about you, Kawanishi?”

“All packed up and ready to move to Tokyo,” Kawanishi answered with a confident smile.

“That’s good,” you replied before your expression turned hesitant. “Um, what about him?”

“Well, you know how he is. Shirabu’s been ready since his acceptance letter came in from Todai,” Kawanishi told you with a good-natured roll of his eyes. “Don’t worry about him, [L/N]. Just enjoy your life overseas. Meet some new people or something.”

“About that,” you mumbled. “I never actually accepted their offer.”

“…You didn’t?” Kawanishi asked in bewilderment, with Goshiki also seeming equally perplexed and confused.

“A few days after I got that letter, I was emailed an apprenticeship job offer from an art studio in Tokyo,” you informed the two males with a happy grin on your face. “It’s a lot more practical than moving overseas, and I’ll be getting hands-on experience from people in the industry. I guess I forgot to tell you guys because I was too busy studying for exams.”

“Well, that’s great, [Y/N]-san!” Goshiki cheered as he offered you a congratulatory smile. Meanwhile, a totally shocked Kawanishi continued to stare at you before he slowly realized the severity of the situation.

“Oh shit,” Kawanishi whispered. “This is bad, real bad…”

“Kawanishi?” you questioned, noticing his odd behaviour.

“[L/N], listen,” Kawanishi said as he grabbed onto your shoulders and pinned you down with the most serious look you had ever seen him wear. “He’s going to hate me for this, but the reason Shirabu broke up with you is because…”

As you listened to Kawanishi’s explanation, you honestly couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You had never felt so angry before in your entire life! You had a few choice words to say once you found him, but most importantly, you were going to make sure to get back your absolutely idiotic boyfriend.

You weren’t an athlete, and you had never been made more painfully aware of this fact than right now as you ran across Shiratorizawa’s expansive campus.

“I think we last saw Shirabu near the art department. Good luck, [L/N]!”

Running up the stairs and rounding the corridor that led to the art department, you felt your lungs burn and your knees buckle with every step you took. Sliding the door of the main art room open, your breath hitched as you spotted a familiar figure.

Shirabu quickly turned around, dragging his eyes away from the beautiful ocean landscape painting that was proudly decorating the art room’s wall. You immediately recognized that particular painting. After all, you were the one that painted it. Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself for the conversation that was about to take place.

“What are you doing here?” Shirabu interrogated, trying to hide the note of surprise in his voice.

“Oh, cut the act,” you snapped as you harshly shut the door behind you and marched into the art room to stand in front of him. “Kawanishi told me everything.”

“He did?! That traitor-”

“Who do you think you are?” you interrupted as you sent Shirabu your meanest glare. “Some kind of shoujo male lead? You can’t play with my emotions like that just because you wanted to do what was ‘best’ for me!”

Shirabu remained silent, choosing instead to stare at the wall in disinterest. He could act all suave and cool if he wanted to, but you were still nowhere near done with your onslaught.

“Did you ever stop to consider how your ‘genius’ plan would make me feel?” you questioned as you felt the tears and emotions from that day resurface once again. “I felt so worthless because you made it clear that I wasn’t worth ‘risking’ your future over. Way to make somebody feel loved, Kenjirou.”

Shirabu flinched as the guilt and shame began to burn away at his icy, impassive mask. “I never wanted to make you feel that way…”

“Yeah, well, you did,” you retorted, brushing away the excess tears that ran down your face. “And in the end, your stupid plan didn’t even work.”

“What do you mean?” Shirabu inquired with a confused frown.

“I accepted an apprenticeship offer in Tokyo. I’m not going anywhere,” you proclaimed with a tearful smile.

Before you could even react, you were pulled into a familiar and loving embrace. Your eyes widened in astonishment as you soon heard the sounds of sniffling and felt the occasional teardrops landing on top of your head.

“Kenjirou?” you asked quietly.

“Going to school overseas, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity,” Shirabu managed to choke out.

“Maybe,” you replied.

“You’re an idiot for not going,” Shirabu continued.

“Perhaps,” you mused, placing a soft kiss against the side of his neck before wrapping your arms around his waist.

“But you’re my idiot,” he tightened his hold around your form, “I’m never letting you go ever again.”

You only smiled in response. “I know.”

Closing your eyes in pure joy, you found happiness in the calm, steady rhythm of Shirabu’s beating heart, along with his gentle words of affirmation.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Here in his arms, you felt at home.

fun fact: the only reason why kawanishi knew the truth was because he had confronted shirabu about the break up after seeing how truly heartbroken you were. however, shirabu made kawanishi promise not to tell you anything

#shirabu kenjirou x reader #shirabu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader #shirabu kenjirou #kawanishi taichi #goshiki tsutomu #renns200followersevent

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idnek83 · 3 years

Note

ok so i have a long standing trans souda headcanon that i think about daily i know i’m late but i feel like i have to do this still, i just think about him being like a year into his transition, open about it if he’s really close with someone like just about the only person that knows at first is hajime and he only found out beacuse souda needed help with his t shots because he gets too freaked out to do them himself sometimes, and i just think about how he’d come out because it makes me feel better about the idea of coming out, so here’s how i think it’s go down :) he would do it so casually, like so casually you don’t even think anyhting of it he’s just makes a joke about it and eveyone would be like haha weird joke bro and he just assumes they know after that but here’s the thing they don’t, because it wasn’t at all obvious so like a whole year passes and he keeps making jokes and people are starting to think it’s weird and than one day he isn’t in class and like sonia and gundham want to know what happened but the only person that knows where he went is hajime who just says he’s getting surgery and they both literally think he has a terminal illness or he like had an accident when fixing up cars so they demand to know if he’s ok and hajime is like i was gonna go check on him tomorrow if you want you can come so they do, still thinking he like almsot died and than they go visit him and he’s kinda off his ass on pain meds and they ask what happens and he very proudly tells them “i got my titties cut off” and that’s when the finally piece it all togther :)

Oof relatable. I tried to do the ‘casually come out about my sexuality through jokes’ thing with one of my friend groups and... pretty much this lol. I thought they knew, but they didn’t catch on to shit for almost a year lol (Wow, I’m just realizing one guy knew before hand too, and didn’t say shit to anyone else. Anon, you pulled this situation right out of my life? Just with gender instead? How?).

Moving on lol.

Soda literally makes jokes about being trans all the time, but it usually just goes over people’s heads, or they’re just like ‘haha, that cis guy sure did make a funny trans joke. Anyways-’ lol (A few people probably at least kind of catch on, but no one says anything)

And I’m trying to think of good set ups for him to make jokes, but this is literally the only one I can think of:

Mondo is having bike troubles and shows up to Soda’s on campus garage to get it looked at. Soda’s just kind of chilling, tinkering with stuff and chatting with Hajime, so he’s happy to look at Mondo’s bike right away. He asks him if he knows what’s wrong and Mondo’s like ‘pretty sure its the transmission.’ Hajime rolls his eyes cus he knows what’s coming and Soda just smirks and is like “Then fixing your transmission is my trans mission!” and starts laughing. Hajime is choking in the corner and dying, because that joke was just too bad, and Mondo’s just standing there like ‘??? Does that mean you’ll fix it? What are you guys laughing at?’ lol

Hajime knew Soda was trans for a good chunk of time before he started T, so Soda calls him up the first time he’s trying to give himself a shot and is just like “Hajime, I need you to come over and stab me.” Hajime has no idea what he’s talking about but he’s just like “Cool.” and shows up at Soda’s dorm like 5 minutes later lol. He’s used to Soda being over dramatic, so when he shows up he’s expecting to hear about some dumb shit Soda did, thinking ‘stab me’ was Soda’s way of saying ‘end me for being cringe’ lol. When Soda shows him the needle and explains what’s going on, Hajime’s just like “Wow, I didn’t think I’d actually get to stab you” and Soda’s like “Wait, what do you mean ‘get to’? Hajime? HAJIME, PUT DOWN THE NEEDLE!” lol (Hajime is very careful about giving him the shot, he just had to fuck with him first lol)

By the time Soda’s top surgery date rolls around, he’s kind of gotten over the whole simping for Sonia thing, and they’re starting to actually become friends. He’s also been spending a lot more time with Gundham, since he’s one of Sonia’s best friends. He’s been dropping hints that he’s into Gundham, but they’ve been going about as well as the hints that he’s trans lol (Although Gundham has definitely been flirting with him a little too, Soda just doesn’t realize cus he’s hopeless lol).

He probably actually announces that he won’t be in class for a while, but it’s like after a really confusing lesson so when he’s like ‘cool, see you guys in a week, I’ll be in the hospital recovering if you need me.’ they think he’s just making a joke about how hard the lesson was lol.

The next day, everyone’s a little confused when he actually doesn’t show up, but they all just figure he’s sick. When lunch rolls around, Sonia and Gundham decide to ask Hajime where he is and Hajime is like ‘he literally said yesterday he was going to be in the hospital for a while?’ and they both start freaking out and asking if he’s okay and which hospital he’s in and what happened and Hajime’s just like ‘Guys he’s fine, he had his surgery this morning and he’s just recovering now.’ and they’re like ‘SURGERY?!?!?!!’ and that’s when Hajime realizes all of his classmates are just as dense as Soda. He’s like ‘I’m going to see him after school, if you guys wanna come, I’m sure he’ll explain the details to you himself.’ and they both agree and use the rest of their lunch to go buy Soda some ‘get well soon’ gifts.

When they get to the room where Soda’s recovering, Hajime goes in first to see if he’s okay with Sonia and Gundham being there (He already told him in text, but he want’s to double check). Soda’s more than happy to see them and when they walk in he’s just ecstatic (and high off his ass lol). He’s like ‘Wow, look at all these beautiful people coming to see me’ and he reaches out and kisses Sonia’s hand then does the same to Gundham’s, but then he just... keeps holding it after haha (Gundham just accepts it and enters gay panic mode lol). Sonia shows him the little stuffed bear and card they got him (which he cannot currently read but still claims to love lol), and then gestures to the flowers Gundham’s holding. Soda looks at Gundham, holding his hand and offering him flowers and he’s just so in love lol. He turns to Hajime and he’s like ‘Look!! He brought me flowers! That’s so romantic, I told you he’d be a good boyfriend! I’m probably right about him being good in bed too!’ and everyone who isn’t Soda starts blushing super hard cus Jesus. Soda immediately forgets what he said and just reaches for the flowers, but ends up hurting himself cus lifting your arms after top surgery is a big no-no.

That snaps everyone out of their embarrassment and they’re all hovering around him asking if he’s alright and Gundham is holding his hand a little tighter. After he assures them he’s fine, Sonia finally asks him what kind of surgery he had. His eyes get big and he’s just like ‘Whaaat? You don’t knooow??’ and he’s smiling super big and Hajime is moving closer cus he knows exactly what the idiot is about to try to do.

“I GOT MY TITTIES CHOPPED OFF!!”

Hajime just manages to stop him from trying to rip his hospital gown off and hurting himself again, reminding him that all Sonia and Gundham would see is bandages anyways lol.

Sonia and Gundham both take a moment to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about while he argues with Hajime about his ‘glorious, flat chest’ and then it clicks and they both realize that they definitely should have figured it out way earlier from all of Soda’s jokes lol. They both congratulate him and he finally stops trying to take off his gown lol.

They spend a few hours just hanging out and chatting in Soda’s hospital room after that.

Gundham holds his hand the whole time.

#Soudam #replies #anon #Trans Soda #Soudam ramblings #trans stuff #fluff

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