The Dark Team (part 9)
<<Previous part Masterlist Next part>>
Join the taglist in here (Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87, @the-departed-potato, @jesuswasnotawhiteman)
Warnings: trauma struggles.
Disclaimer: I have no idea who this pic is from, I found it around. If you know whose it is, please tag them!
It’s normal to have nightmares the night after you go through something like that.
It’s also normal to have dreamt with the one that saved you. That took you out of the hands of Death and embraced you with soft-spoken words, reassuring you it’d be fine, leaving no room for you to even think you wouldn’t come out of that.
It’s normal your brain had created fictional scenarios, but, what was your subconscious trying to tell you? So ambiguous, so… out of every context you could’ve possibly provided from your real life experiences. What was that place? Who was that bearded man who shouted incessantly at Loki?
You couldn’t figure out where you were, but in the dream you seemed to know exactly where to be and where not to. People dressed like the Norse Gods you already knew had you cuffed with chains too strong for you to even fight it. And, from a corner of that huge place full of gold and marble details you couldn’t stop to appreciate, you observed cautiously the discussion.
It didn’t seem so much like an argument, for Loki wasn’t allowed to talk back. He still said all the words he couldn’t speak through his magnificent talent of face expressions. The bearded man mentioned a dungeon and Loki resisted being taken away. He fought, but got even more restrained. The bearded man’s gaze finally laid on you, ordering someone to execute you.
Screams, you weren’t sure if yours or someone else’s. Maybe Loki’s.
“You have a choice”, echoed in your head. Whose voice was it? You don’t know. What did you choose? You were now somewhere else. A tinier place, not less bright than the previous one.
You reached for a hand and the hand wrapped around your eyes, blinding you from something. Or protecting you. Or…
“Don’t leave me”, it was your voice, this time. “I’m begging you, don’t leave me”, you cried. But there was nothing there. Only darkness, an empty room, and the reminiscence of an apology. “If you do this now, I’ll never forgive you”.
“How would you know”, said the darkness. Was it the darkness? Why did the shadows have a voice?
“Execute them”, the bearded man’s voice resonated in your head once again. The balcony, heights. Yelling. Yours. Loki’s. You were falling again, and Loki wasn’t there to catch you. The bearded man laughed obnoxiously at you while you cried. Debilitating you. Making your heart beat fast enough to wake you in a cold sweat, shivering, trembling.
You stabilized yourself, looking around to ground you. Blankets covering your fully dressed body; how uncomfortable to sleep in your suit, but how necessary. By one of your sides, Loki slept soundly in his bed. Bucky, sitting on the floor, tried to figure out something about his smartphone to pass time faster.
“Yes”, you lied with a hoarse voice. “I’m good”.
“Nightmare?”. You shrugged your shoulders and he sat on the feet of the bed. “You know, this phone doesn’t make me feel very smart”. You chuckled, still incapable of taking those images out of your head. Now fogged, you could only remember the traces of intense emotions they drew all over your chest. Your breathing was still irregular, difficult to align. “Wanna talk about it?”.
“Too strange to even explain it”, you breathed out. “Felt so real, as if I could’ve reached the marble patterns of the walls and remember the sensation in the tips of my fingers”.
“Where were you?”.
“I don’t know, I’ve never been there”.
“Are you sure?”.
“Yes, I would remember. It was too much”.
You knew Bucky wanted to say what he always said; trauma deletes memories. But that implied such context… you wouldn’t be able to forget it all. Hell, there was Loki, and you just met the man. Bucky swallowed his words, knowing they would only get denial from you. This had happened so many times, he knew exactly what to say and what not to say. It wasn’t the first time either you had intense nightmares, so real and so surreal at the same time. They were impossible. But so imaginative, so creative for your mind to have created that alone. It defied the limits of your own imagination.
“I don’t want to go back to sleep”, you said to Bucky as your eyes closed and your sleepy head wanted to drift off to another land, another dream, another nightmare. “I don’t want to go back there”, you repeated, and Bucky patted your shoulder, saying things you weren’t capable of comprehending anymore.
Your head heard you, and the next few hours your dreams were nothing you could fear from. You didn’t even remember it once you awoke again. The curtains were half opened, but no lights from the outside bathed the room. Only the moonlight. It wasn’t silent. The soft rain picked in the balcony, and the door was half open. The tall silhouette of Loki held a phone to his ear, and Bucky slept on the other bed. They must’ve changed positions while you slept. Still half asleep, you eavesdropped his conversation.
“Gør þú svá vel”, he pleaded. You understood his words, or so you thought. Please, he had asked. He heard the long words on the other side of the line, and he insisted “gørvel, Þórr”; please, Thor.
You pretended to be still asleep, but it had caught your attention too much to ignore it. Was that your sleep-deprived brain making up a translation? You were certain you didn’t speak Old Norse. And what was Loki begging Thor about? This all was so onyric, you almost laughed to yourself.
Even though you were sure you were still either dreaming, or so sleepy you made up the meanings of those foreing words so softly spoken by the God; you couldn’t put your focus away. Thor seemed to be explaining carefully something Loki had predicted, and didn’t look like he would put on much more of a fight to get it done.
You managed to distinct Thor’s words from the very light sound the phone allowed you to, and he apologized with a “fyrirgef mik” and a trace of regretfulness.
“Allt er gott”, it’s alright, he accepted, sighing. Thor, on the other side of the line, excused himself for whatever reason he couldn’t do what Loki had asked him to. “Góða nótt, bróðir. Sof þú vel”, he ended the call. Good night, brother. Sleep well.
3 notes · View notes
Altair + Vega | CH.9
pairing: loki laufeyson x fem!reader
word count: 3.5k
warnings: fingering, longing, frustration lmao, still a slow burn bc I'm trash xoxox
summary: Once lovers, Altair + Vega are two of the brightest stars in the galaxy. One, immortal and all powerful while the other, a mere mortal, were torn apart by the forces of those around them and placed in our nights sky separated by the endless Milky Way. But once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month, the stars align and our two lovers, once separated by both time and space, are able to come together. Able to see one another, to touch one another. Then and only then, are the two lovers able to c o l l i d e.
NINE | ANCIENT
The Ambien in your purse was practically calling out your name when you hit a patch of turbulence somewhere over the Atlantic.
You’d never been a good flyer, you’d much rather take a sleeping pill and be done with it if you were being honest, and today was no different. Even in the luxurious first-class seat you’d treated yourself to.
After years of flying every which way on account of work, you’d finally banked some of those flyer miles and treated yourself – and Loki, much to your chagrin – to what life was like for the other half. The rich half. The half that could afford the amenities provided in that suite.
You had your own little sanctuary in that cabin. George Clooney could have been on the seat area opposite you and you wouldn’t know because the privacy was next level. It was as though you were cocooned away from everyone else with the thick dividers surrounding your extremely comfortable seat. You’d always been the type to never fully extend your seat in fear of pissing off whoever had the misfortune of sitting behind you but here, in first-class, that didn’t matter. Your seat, which was honestly like more of a memory foam mini mattress at this point, was fully extended as you idly watched a random movie on your personal TV screen.
You should have been feeling good. Relaxed. Calm. But, even with your furry sleep mask resting on your forehead nursing your second glass of wine under a cozy blanket the airline had provided you, you were all nerves.
You really hated flying.
If you could drive everywhere, you would.
But, unfortunately for you, Norway was unattainable without a plane which meant, at least for you, peace was unattainable as well.
Squeezing your eyes shut as the cabin shook, you polished off the rest of your wine in one fell swoop as you inched closer and closer to the sleeping pill in your purse. Mixing it with alcohol was stupid, you knew it was, but that didn’t make the urge lessen any.
Just before you could be further tempted, however, the small partition separating you from Loki rolled down as his bored features soaked you in. “This is excruciating.” He droned, his voice quiet. “How do you fly like this?”
Your head fell back against the seat. “It’s just turbulence.” You explained, more so to yourself as a mild assurance.
Loki frowned. “What? No, I meant this,” he gestured to the vast cabin. “It’s a little small, don’t you think?”
Swallowing back your nerves, you popped one eye open and glowered across at the idiot. “This is first-class.”
He matched your incredulous stare. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”
You blew out a shaky breath and tugged your sleep mask down to shield your eyes. “Put the wall back up and leave me alone.”
“No,” he bellyached, reaching across the divide to pull the sleep mask off of your head. “I’m bored.”
“That’s not my problem.” You groused, yanking it back. “You dragged me out here, you should at least let me—”
“I don’t recall much kicking and screaming,” he bit back, recollecting on the vision of having you pinned against the railing of your porch. Giving you a rather mischievous smile, he once again reached across the divide to fiddle with a strand of hair. “Though that does sound quite fun.”
Swatting his hand away, you shot him a death glare and nearly screamed when the cabin gave another mighty lurch. Why were you here? Why had your vagina listened to the God of Mischief in the first place? She should have been on your side in all of this, not his.
“You appear to be nervous,” he mused in that goddamn gravelly voice. He almost sounded amused. “Let’s explore that.”
You glared across at him. “I don’t like flying.”
“Oh, I see that,” he smirked and nodded to the empty glass in front of you. “Would another one of those help?”
Your fingers were aching from the vice-like grip you had on the arm rest. “Another bottle, maybe.”
With the fluidity and confidence of a god, all Loki had to do was politely raise a single finger in the air before one of the stewardess’ came striding over. “What can I do for you Mister Cooper?”
Besides your obvious discomfort, you felt the corner of your mouth tug into a small smirk as you watched Loki’s poised smile falter just enough to betray his unruffled bravado. It wasn’t as though you could get him a legitimate passport in a week, even with your pull at SHIELD and, even if you could, you couldn’t exactly use his real name. The man was, by all accounts, a terrorist. He’d been granted zero pardons since his little stint in New York and once SHIELD or any other government agency caught wind of his return, he’d be hauled in faster than anything.
So, you improvised.
Well, Darcy improvised.
She knew of a guy that could fake government documents and all she told you was ‘the less you knew, the better’. Four hundred dollars later, she showed up at work wielding Loki’s first official passport.
Or, as his passport claimed: David Broderick Cooper.
The passport guy, whoever he was, was a fucking comedian, as it turned out.
“Might we grab another two glasses of wine,” he purred at the woman, grinning up at her. “Red, if you could be so kind.”
You watched the woman’s eyes light up as she straightened out. “Of course, Mister Cooper. I’ll be right back with those.”
When Loki turned back around to face you, the obvious disdain at his new name was written out clear as day on his face. “Cooper,” he all but spat out, “why does she keep calling me that?”
“Because that’s the name on your passport,” you quietly reminded him, “as we went over seven hundred times.”
“I hate it,” he grumbled, “it’s so…plain.”
You rolled your eyes and tugged a magazine out of your purse. “No, see, I paid for a plain name, the asshole took it upon himself to give you the name of a guy who hijacked a plain for a shit ton of money back in the day.” You glanced across at him. “You owe me four hundred dollars by the way.”
Loki merely waved you off. “I’m sure my dearest brother will accommodate you for it.” He pondered on your words for a moment before his curiosity got the better of him. “What became of this Cooper?”
“Nobody really knows,” you shrugged, “he got the money he wanted, jumped out of the plane with a parachute and no one’s seen or heard from him since.”
“A man of mystery,” Loki concluded as he mulled over your words, “I like him.”
The cabin gave another shake before another word could escape your lips and the magazine you were holding onto only seconds slid to the floor as you immediately grasped onto the arm rest yet again. Your eyes were squeezed shut as you attempted to quell your nerves, but you could feel Loki’s curious stare soaking in your side profile as you suffered through the turbulence.
“You’re flying with a god, may I remind you.” Loki quipped. Reaching across the divide, he tenderly brushed his fingers across the knuckles of your left hand before enveloping your hand in his own. At the sudden contact, your eyes flew open as you gawked across at the dark-haired man in sheer astonishment. His features had softened as those blue eyes searched yours. “You’re safe with me,” he declared quietly.
You opened your mouth to speak but found words seemingly impossible as the sincerity splayed across Loki’s face rendered you speechless. How a man could go from naggingly frustrating to devastatingly earnest in a matter of seconds was beyond you, but here you were. Rendered awestruck by the very man you’d wanted to throttle only seconds prior.
“Here you are sir,” the stewardess carefully handing him two glasses of wine and shot the two of you an easy smile, “can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you,” Loki gave her a tight smile as he released your hand to grab the glasses, “that would be all.”
You watched the woman leave before grabbing the glass out of Loki’s hands. Taking a rather large gulp, you barely relished in the taste of the expensive wine before swallowing it back. Why were you here right now? Why had you stupidly agreed to go to Norway with this confusing idiot?
Placing your now empty glass back on the small ledge between the two of you, you caught Loki’s amused stare as he daintily sipped from his own wine. With another roll of your eyes, you reached down to grab your magazine and flipped it open to a random page. “Judge away,” you griped, “it’s this or Ambien.”
“I’m curious,” he began, placing his cup down before turning his entire body to face you from the comfort of his own seat. “Have you had any more dreams of me?”
“Jesus Christ,” you growled as you mindlessly flipped the page, “a girl has one sex dream and never lives it down.”
Loki’s dark eyebrows pulled up in delight. “I was referring to the past we seem to share together but I do like where this is headed.”
Disdain marred your face as you shot him a look. “No dreams involving you in any way, shape, or form. I promise.” Giving up on the magazine entirely, you blew out an annoyed puff of air and tossed it aside. “How about you? Any of these supposed memories coming back to you?”
“‘Supposed’,” Loki inclined his head to the right as his eyes raked over your face, “we’re back to denying our bodies inborn knowledge of one another?”
Your head fell back against the seat. “I’m a doctor, Loki, a woman of science. While I don’t understand anything that we witnessed that night on the roof, I have to at least try to leave room for reasonable doubt. For my own sanity, if nothing else.”
“And yet,” he purred, leaning into the divider, “here you are. On a plane with me.” Again, he reached over the lowered barrier to skirt his thumb across the apple of your cheek. He was testing you, you knew he was, to see your reaction and while you in no way wanted to play into his tactics, you couldn’t deny your body’s desperate need to feel those hands trailing all across your body.
In a mere touch, one you’d shared with lovers before him, he’d transported you to that goddamn memory the two of you shared on the roof. You could see him between your thighs, feel those blue eyes boring into your face as he watched you crumble and writhe from the effects of his tongue.
Sucking in a greedy breath, you watched him smirk and hated yourself in that instance. He had this assuredness about him, this confidence, that exuded off of him in waves. He was so sure of himself, of his motives, of his effect on you and you hated him for it.
This wasn’t you.
You weren’t some trembling mess of a woman. You weren’t often found at a loss for word over the mere touch of a man so what the hell was this? He was relying on your body’s natural reaction to his, relying on this strange connection the two of you shared. As of right now, he had you beat, you could admit to as much.
But, two could play at that game.
Rather than swat his hand away, as you so wanted to do, you leaned forward and glanced towards the area where the two stewardess’ were stationed. It was late and the cabin lights were low in an attempt to allow the patrons their sleep.
You could absolutely use this to your advantage.
“You’re so sure of this aren’t you?” You whispered, slipping your hand over the small barricade. With your fingers splayed, you ran your fingernails along his sharp jawline before snaking your way down his throat. You felt his adams apple bob beneath your hand as that heavy blue gaze bounced from your eyes down to your lips in quiet contemplation. “So sure of us?”
Another harsh swallow as your hand now trailed down his broad chest. “I’d be a fool not to be.” He muttered, his eyes briefly flickering to your hand as it disappeared beneath the thin blanket the airline had provided. You felt his entire body stiffen as a sensational leer broke out across his face. “I do like this side of you, starseed.”
Starseed, the same nickname he’d coined in that god forsaken memory.
“I’m just proving a point,” you cooed, feeling his erection grow the farther and farther your hand travelled down.
“What might that point be?” He rasped out in anticipation.
But, before you’d grant him a stitch of pleasure, you yanked your hand back and shot him a triumphant smile. “That the innate sense that your body knows my own is nothing more than sexual tension. Remove me from the equation and it can be little miss stewardess with her hand down your pants and you’d feel the exact same way.”
The sheer surprise on Loki’s face made your own smile grow as you retreated back to your own seat. Glancing over your shoulder towards the bathroom, you shot him a quick wink. “You think on that for a minute, I have to pee.”
You practically skipped to the small washroom with a shit eating grin on your face. You knew there was more to it than a simple attraction, but you didn’t have it in you to play into his mind games right now. You were here because a part of you craved those same answers he was seeking out from his brother but a much larger part of you was terrified of what you’d find out.
Sliding the latch of the washroom to the side, you pushed the door open half an inch before feeling a giant cool mass standing directly behind you. Loki. You barely had enough time to look back at him before feeling him usher the two of you inside of the small lavatory.
“Loki, what the fuck?” You awkwardly turned around so that your ass was pressed firmly against the sink as you glowered across at him. The washroom was too small for this, he was too big, too broad that any room you might have had coming in here alone was impossible to fathom. Sliding the lock closed, those blue eyes were hooded and focused solely on you. “Does the concept of personal space really elude you this much?”
A noise, something between a snarl and a moan, slithered out of his pink lips as he reached up to grasp your chin, demanding your full attention as he stepped into you. The sink was poking into your ass, painfully so, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much as those blue eyes, smouldering and intense, narrowed in irritation.
“Denying this is futile,” he reminded you, dragging his fingers down your throat just as you’d done to him in the cabin. Was this payback or was it something else? Something more primal than either of you were willing to admit. Through the thin material of your cotton t-shirt, Loki pinched your nipple as his nose scraped along your jaw. Your breath hitched as he nipped at your ear. “Denying what your body craves, what the darkest cervices of mind knows, is futile.”
Your fingers curled around his bicep as he pinned you against the sink and, as his hand continued to venture down your body, stopping only momentarily at the waistband of your leggings, you found your entire body erupt in a heat so violent that it gave that globe inside of you a run for its money.
He waited for a moment, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if that was what you wanted. He waited to hear you say no, to deny your body once again, but heard nothing of the sort. The only thing he saw, written as clear as day on your face, was need and the only thing he heard was the ever-constant hum of your heartbeat as he finally slipped his fingers beneath the material of your leggings and thong.
You were soaked for him.
It was enough to drive him mad, but as he slipped his finger through the folds of your pussy, finally feeling you just as he had in that memory, he somehow remained firmly rooted in place as a breathy moan escaped your lips.
Feeling you like this, was otherworldly.
He’d felt you, in a sense, in those visions, but not like this. The heat of your pussy on his hand, the twitching of your legs with every flick and pinch he gave your clit, the feeling of your hot breath on his cheek as you struggled for resolve.
“I won’t kiss you,” he growled out, tilting his head forward so that your foreheads met.
You bucked into his palm. “Who says I want you to?”
A ravenous chuckle reverberated through the small lavatory as his lips curled back into a tight sneer. “Your body, for one.” He managed out. “Your eyes, too. They betray your mouth at every turn.” Sliding two fingers inside of you as his thumb circled your clit, he grinned as your legs opened up to allow him better access to your aching cunt. “I feel your need, your want.”
Your chest was heaving. “You’re a cocky shit, you know that?”
“I’m right,” he snarled. His cock was straining, painfully so, against his pants as he finger fucked you against the sink of that airplane washroom, but he was so focused on how ethereal you looked with your parted lips and legs spread open that he couldn’t bring himself to do a damned thing about it. Even when your own hand reached for his length, granting him momentary mercy from the confines of his trousers, he bucked back and only quickened his pace on your clit. “No,” he condemned, “you’re so sure that this is nothing more than a chemical reaction between the two of us, I’ll deny myself. Deny my want, my own visceral need for you so that you see that this is so much bigger than what your mortal mind can fathom.”
Your nipples were straining against your thin shirt and his mouth watered as he thought of suckling on them, biting them and rolling the buds between his teeth.
“Loki,” you buried your face in the crook of his neck, “please.”
“I’ve touched you like this before,” he mused, unrelenting, “I’ve heard my name tear out of those lips and I’ve felt your slick on my palm precisely like this a thousand times before. I know this and so do you.” He nipped at your neck. “And I won’t kiss you, won’t grant myself the mercy of burying my cock inside of you, slicing you open the way only I know how, until you admit that this bond between us is more than a physical need. It’s bone deep. It’s ancient.”
He pinched your clit and rolled it gently between his fingers as he watched you come undone. He felt your entire body seize as an orgasm ripped through it. He wanted nothing more than to yank your pants down those thighs and bury himself inside of you, he wanted to ravish you, to kiss you hard enough to ignite every lost memory between you.
But he wouldn’t.
He knew that you were being stubborn, that you were denying something that you both knew – and for what? For pride? For science?
He was having none of it.
He’d lost his current memories as it was, he wasn’t about to deny the primordial memories inside of his brain that involved you. He needed to remember, he needed you to remember.
“We’ve known each other for a long time.” He reiterated, his own breathing heavy and uneven. Slinking his hand out of your leggings as your fingernails dug into his broad shoulders, he held your stare as he slowly licked your slick off of his fingers. “Why deny the inevitable, starseed?
Before you could think up a single word in the English dictionary to utter, he turned on his heel, unlatched the lock and slid out of the lavatory in a single blink, leaving you touch starved and clouded.
What the fuck had just happened?
And why on god’s green earth were you already craving so much more?
taglist: @krissology @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @toomanystoriessolittletime @peoniarose @djarins-riduur @astral-violet @weakmoony-stuff @princessxkenobi @jettia @blogbykate @im-fatally-yours @mirjahaals @wolfmoon87 @frankiemorales @artsymaddie @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @thebakerstboyskeeper @thebogbabe @firefeatherx @sfr99 @chibiyanai @onfiretakemehigher @winchesterxxi @chasingdreamer @qhbr2013 @justanotherblonde23 @lascatederals @elylandon @skdubbs @owljumper @loki-hiddleston-81 @phoenixhalliwell @raphaelaisabella @buckybarnesyard @blackberries45 @lilacs-lavender @the-feckless-wonder @kingtwhiddleston @lovelyzabrak-meadow @bookishofalder @retrxbarnes @vaxxildan @gingerspicetalks @captainparadisemary @voteforpedropascal @captainmissgreenleaf-blog @bookofbriar @xxlovingfandomsxx @hogwartsforpikeys @artemisfrost @bangchanseonyeondan @welcometothepedroverse @trash-dino-5000 @librariantothejedi @maddiedrmr @nahthanks @hayley-the-comet @morganmofresh @ayamenimthiriel
131 notes · View notes