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urf1lterr · 1 year

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lovesick | pedro pascal [4]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

previous chapter: [3] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 10.6k

status: in progress

author's note: so sorry for the long wait! but i tried making this chapter longggg. i typically have my days off altogether and the rest of the week booked with work/school. i try to post many chapters within my short timeframe (bc im booked af) so pls expect another update soon after this one! sadly, it takes me around 8-10 hours to write one bc its hard to think lol. also, i don't want this to be too long of a series and kinda wanna connect the dots- slowly but surely, ya know? not edited.

"So, he just came knocking on your door at 6am?" Joon questioned, taking a sip of his smoothie soon afterwards. "I can't even wake up that early."

"We had to do that everyday for our last job."

"I woke up ten minutes before I had to be out the door," he shrugged. "Men get ready fast."

"Anyway," you eyed him as he cluelessly did the same, confused as to why you wouldn't look away. "I don't remember him coming."

"Yeah, because you fucking freaked out and hallucinated over Lady Gaga," Jules exclaimed, you automatically cringing just at the horrible memories you've recently faced with that damn cat.

Once she explained what had happened hours after you had woken up, you were disturbingly shocked.

And the fact that your sleepiness was to blame had you going insane- imagine all the other odd things you may had committed while under the covers.

But you will admit you did remember some of that night's events clearly, again like you practically making out with Lady Gaga- although she was the one who licked your face endlessly first.

Mortified just by the thoughts, you will never be able to face Pedro again sanely.

How could you when you recently dreamed about a man 25 years older being intimate with you- that's...confusing. And the worst part of it all was you couldn't say anything to anyone with the fear of being judged or laughed at- maybe both.

The thing was you couldn't quite understand why you had to dream about that. Maybe your time of the month was coming and your hormones targeted the first guy you had nonstop contact with?

No, that would've been Joon.

Attraction may had played a part but Joon definitely had that, Pedro as well but a little different...age-wise at least. There's no way you felt allured for men with bad jokes and rough skin- no offense. Right?

He did text you that same morning he dropped by and commented on how creepy you are half asleep and whether or not you agreed to his 'business' proposal. Not trying to start a conversation you knew you couldn't finish, out of second-hand shame, you just replied a simple:

LOL but busy with school atm to make a final decision- tell ya later

That later still hasn't arrived.

Unfortunately, you forgot to ask him why he made a random visit that morning- but you weren't going to ask him days later. In your mind, you need to avoid him. There's no way you'd be able to act normal after have unholy fascinations about him.

Not that it'll be a problem, you two hadn't seen each other for weeks before your cafe encounter, you're sure you can do it again without him noticing your distance.

It's been about two days since then which meant you didn't have to prioritize so much of your time on homework, you'll just save that for Sunday when it's all due.

"Did you bother to ask him why?" Jules added, turning to you. "He obviously wasn't coming to see me- I barely know the guy."

"You do know him!" you argue as she rolls her eyes. "You literally got mad at me for not recognizing him the first time we met."

"He's a celebrity- everybody knows him," she defends before tilting her head in curiosity. "But you two are oddly close, it's kind of weird."

"No," you shake your head, trying to laugh off her suspicions. "We are casual friends who fan girl over the same things."

People did take notice how close Pedro and you were but it wasn't anybody's fault you two had so much in common. Both of you loved Starbucks, going on hikes- when you weren't lazy, and believe Matt Healy is extremely attractive.

If they have a problem with that they can sue you.

"I see it," Joon adds, jumping up a bit. "Him and I barely talk and we're men- we should be bonding easily!"

"You're...you," Jules cringes, making Joon glare in return. "I can understand why he chooses not to be close to you."

Laughing, you watch as Joon quickly flips her the finger before he continues on with the conversation. "I just feel like he always comes around only to see you, it was pretty obvious since the first time he took us home."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn't understand what he meant by that. Pedro offered all three of you a ride home, not just you.

Already feeling done with this topic, you wanted to switch it before things started escalating and freaky theories started unfolding. They had every right to question your friendship, but you were starting to think they might be leading down a road where they may soon develop other impressions as to what your friendship might have been.

Why are you even thinking that? That's so inappropriate to imagine.

"You two are silly, he probably needed my advice on something or wanted to workout," you suggest, their faces showing they weren't fully convinced. "But anywho, did you call Yoongi yet?"

"I don't think that's a great idea," Joon declared, adjusting in your warm sofa. "He's not really a skating kind of guy."

Since it was Friday and you had no plans, you thought it would be a fun idea to be adventurous for once and do something you would never do on a regular basis.

Ice Skate.

Your friends were extremely down with the idea, but you needed a fourth person to make the group complete. Why not a skinny, impatient blonde man who would probably spend the whole night complaining about why this plan was awful?

Right now you could use some other grumpiness in your life.

"Just tell him to go," you beam back, clapping your hands in excitement as you'll soon be able to fall countless of times on the ice. "I'll buy him hot cocoa."

"You better do it or he'll never let that go," Joon states.

After hours of sitting around and blasting random music through your speakers, the three of you were ready to set off on your journey of locating the ice rink.

If it wasn't for Joon's constant whining to stop walking to take pictures of the scenery you probably would've arrived 15 minutes sooner than your actual arrival, but too bad your friend is a nature freak.

"You taking pictures of the pigeons better not be the reason why you're late," you heard Yoongi grumble as the three of you finally found him sitting on a bench near the entrance of the rink, staring directly at Joon who just scoffed.

"I'm sorry if my happiness bothers you," Joon snapped back as Yoongi just stood up from his seat and made his way to your trio.

Grabbing your ice skates wasn't too difficult as the long line seemed to flow by smoothly, but standing on them was a different story.

"I can't do this," you squeal as your hurriedly motion your arms around to find some balance. "I'm falling!"

Yoongi sent you a questionable look as he watched your poor attempts to stay still embarrassing. "We're not even on the ice yet."

Feeling a hand grab a hold on your shoulders and practically drag your feet towards the ice, you glance up to see Jules steadily directing you to face your fears.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Are you going to push her in?!" you hear Joon gasp a few feet behind you but you couldn't turn your head as you rather focused your attention on yanking yourself off of Jules.

"It was her idea so she'll be the one going in first."

"Ahh!" you screech, putting all your pressure on your feet to stop her hard pull. Spiraling your ankles in the most crucial ways, you start to lightly slap her arms off you as she continues to fight them off.

One thing about her was she's going to make sure to remind you that this was your idea.

Feeling an arm gently tug you off her grip, you landed on Yoongi's side as Jules whined in return, offended that he ruined her vicious plan. Respectfully, he kept you stable with an arm wrapped behind your middle back as you gripped his other one, fearful she might snatch you away again.

"Why would you do that?!"

"I don't think watching her fall face first on the hard ice would be a fun sight to see," he bluntly returned as Jules huffed. "The sight of blood gives me the ick."

"I was waiting for that moment all afternoon," Jules sighed, disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing you fall- yet.

Waiting for her to walk away to go on the ice, you see Joon follow her before you released your friend, relieved that she wouldn't be partaking in her scandalous scheme just yet.

"You do know how to skate, right?" Yoongi asked, his uncertain eyes on yours as you crazily wave your arms in front of him to rub off his questionable thoughts.

"Do I? Of course I do!" you argue, making your way towards the ice until you were two feet away from it. Putting your feet on the edge, you hesitate as you could feel the cold breeze wrap around you legs. "I'm gonna go now."

"Yippy," he states, waiting at your poor attempts to convince him.

Giving him a thumbs up, you clap your hands together to try to reassure yourself that you could do this, forgetting that he was right behind you secretly laughing.

Taking one final breath, you placed your right foot on top of the ice steadily, trying your best not to make any harsh movements, until you felt a hard jerk on your upper body, making you lose yourself in an instant.

"God, if you don't know how to skate why would you suggest it?" Yoongi grumbled, gliding both your bodies along the ice as he held tightly onto your arms. You were practically skating like a wet dog in front of him, begging with your eyes for him not to abandon you.

"I always wanted to try."

Sending you an annoyed look, you zipped your mouth as his arms were now securing you, closing any gaps there may have been and giving you the ride of your life.

Shutting your eyes harshly, you didn't dare to witness the environment around as you felt the icy wind slap your face the faster you two- or at least by Yoongi's swaying, got.

There were times where he did pretend to lose his balance, causing you to cry in horror and him immediately placing his hand over your mouth by how loud you weaped.

But other than that, you came to enjoy his help as your two other friends rudely abandoned you guys in order to practice their poor attempts of leaping across the rink.

"Okay," Yoongi started, releasing his left hand from your side and keeping you close with only his other. "Now you try on your own."

Fear creeping up in your face, you rapidly shake your head in disagreement and try catching his recent abandoned arm, which he denied. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?" he countered back making you silent.

He did have a point.

"C'mon, it's not that hard. If Joon could do it, you can."

"He's literally on the ground right now," you whine as Yoongi quickly averts his eyes in search of your tall friend, soon finding Joon clutching his knee in pain as Jules records on her phone.

"No."

Sighing, he continues to look around, trying to plan out an idea that would at least convince you to slide a few feet alone without his help until he smirked and met your eyes.

"What would Matt Healy do?"

Widening your eyes, you were taken back by his question.

Only Pedro used that line on you.

And for some reason it felt odd when Yoongi did the same. You shouldn't be bothered by his choice of words...but you were a little.

He wasn't him to be saying it.

"He wouldn't force me to do something I didn't want to do," you reply back, causing him to groan.

"I feel like you just want to be in my arms," he retorted with a grin, immediately making you revolt and fly out of his arms, your bottom hitting the ice hard. "Well that's one way to make you skate."

Feeling immediate pain on the back of your thighs, you just knew you were going to be bruised and swollen the next day. But hey, this technically counts for your workout for the week.

Awkwardly swaying your body around, you couldn't get up off the damn ice. You were sure you looked like a fish out of water by how crazy you were moving.

"Get on your knees," Yoongi commented, causing you to send him a death glare as he lifted his hands up in defense. "It helps you stand."

Or he could just grab your arms and help you himself.

Cautiously following his suggestion, you slowly pull your right leg up and place it firmly on the ice before slowly trying to do so with your left one. As you began to feel satisfied with the weight being supported, you felt your body finally working and lifting up off the ground before he poked your shoulder- making you fall again.

"I'm going to murder you!" you threaten as you stare at him on your back, whole body restlessly laying on the ground in misery as he cackles loudly.

He may have advantage on the ice, but oh man- once you regain your balance off it you were going to end that slender man's life.

"Isn't this just a sight to see," you heard someone exclaim before hands grab your arms and soon lift you back on your feet.

Moving your eyes to the ones in front of you, you burst out in smiles. "Bella! Nico!"

"I take this as my queue to leave,'" you hear Yoongi mumbles but you swiftly grab his arm from his close proximity and halt his plans.

He was not going to desert you now.

"What are you girls doing here?"

Not seeing them for a few weeks didn't make things awkward, but different. It was like catching up with old friends, even though you barely met them less than three months ago.

"Had nothing to do tonight so why not ice skate?" Nico giggled.

Bella examined you up and down before pointing at your head. "My god, your hair grew so long. Has it really been that long?"

Rolling your eyes, you were about to answer her before Yoongi cut in. "No, it's her fake extenstions."

Gasping, you turn your body to him and smack his shoulder as he smacks you back. One thing about him, he's all about equality. You touch him, he touches you- simple.

You don't see the way Nico and Bella exchange smirks to one another before Nico slides in front of you and pulls out her phone. "We should take a selfie! You know, for memories."

Laughing, you agree. You took some pictures with them but never really out of the work environment.

Uncomfortably standing still, Yoongi hastily moves to the side a bit, not wanting to intrude this moment you were having with your friends. He was a pretty sociable person, but only if they had things in common and he fairly knew them.

Yoongi didn't know these two young girls and he sure as hell didn't want to be the one being kicked out of this picture- so why not kick himself out first?

"Where are you going, we need your long arm to get us all in the frame!" Bella exclaimed, motioning Yoongi to move back as he sent her a flustered glance.

"I can just take it with the three of you."

"Nonsense!" Nico argued back, shaking her head as you giggled. "We don't leave people out."

Biting his bottom lip a bit, he scratches the back of his neck swiftly before increasing the speed of his skates to the girl, accepting her phone. "I suppose."

Fixing your posture, you stand behind your friend as he carefully raises his right arm up in the air, positioning the phone that was able to capture all four of you in the frame.

Pulling out the gummiest smile, you bursted out a gigantic grin after seeing the rare radiant expression Yoongi was giving. He was never one to show much emotion so finding him giving in for a picture amused you.

Taking the phone out of his hands, Bella examined the screen before chuckling. "Wow, you've got one adorable smile."

You could've sworn you saw Yoongi blush as he lowered his head while shaking off her compliment, trying to act natural but he wasn't fooling anyone.

He was shy.

Gasping at the sight in front of her, Nico pointed at the concession cart near one of the exits of the ice. "They have hot cocoa! We must get some."

Faking a groan, Bella allowed her friend to drag her away but not before sending you a pout to follow, which you were happy to do. You were freezing to death without even realizing it until you stopped your attempts to skate for the picture.

"I was promised a free cup," Yoongi stated as he was gliding behind you, softly pushing your back as you proceeded to do nothing but allow him to direct you to where your desired hot cocoa was.

Scoffing a little, you shush him as you reached the exit ramp. Jumping off, the two of you slowly waddled to Bella and Nico who were next in line.

"Wait," you start, pausing your footsteps which resulted in him almost falling after slamming to your side. "Shouldn't we ask Joon and Jules if they want one?"

Peeking over your shoulder, Yoongi looks back down to you. "Nah, don't wanna ruin their fun."

Following his recent glance, you could see Joon and Jules in front of one another, both holding hands as they try to catch a faster pace while twirling in big circles.

You were sure they were eventually going to knock a small child over soon.

"Next," you hear the worker call out, sitting behind his register waiting for your arrival.

Quickly walking up, you place your order as nothing else but the hot drinks seemed to interest you. The total came out to be the cost as what four drinks at your local cafe would be, but you shouldn't be surprised since this place was pretty popular to the public.

Pulling out his wallet so fast, you didn't have to process what Yoongi was doing until you caught the view of his credit card as he handed it over to the man in front of you.

"No-" you try intercepting what had just happened by giving your card to the worker who just shrugged as he had already paid for the drinks on Yoongi's card. "Why would you do that?"

"You're too slow," Yoongi bluntly said as he grabbed the two drinks and moved to the side so the next person in line could place their order.

"But it hadn't even been three seconds since he said the total before you handed him the card," you protest.

He handed you your cup, hoping it'll shut you up as he took a small sip from his own. "And?"

Is he being serious? "'And,'" you question as he continued to be unaware as to what you were getting at. "Since the beginning I vowed to buy you hot cocoa."

Yoongi laughed at how stubborn you were becoming. "Vowed? What a great word choice for this scenario, fiance."

Rolling your eyes at his teasing, you hated the fact he was avoiding your question. You knew he did it because he wanted to be a gentleman, but the problem was he didn't want to admit he was one.

Again, he was being shy.

"I see you are kind," you smirk as he gave you a disgusted glance. "Don't worry, I won't tell people you have a heart."

Before he could leave a snarky comeback, Nico and Bella came back in giggles as Yoongi retreated back to his natural state of looking lifeless. "Oh my gosh- we went to get napkins and I kid you not I may have poured my drink on the back of this poor little girl."

Lightly gasping, you widen your eyes as Yoongi confusingly replies back. "May have? You don't know if you did or not?"

Bella makes an accountable face, scrunching her nose in the process. "Okay, I did. But she's the one who ran into me!"

"Well, she was really small and you kind of didn't search your surroundings before kneeing her," Nico exposed, causing Yoongi and you to give each other a concerned look.

"You kneed her?!"

"Only in her side," Bella excused herself, sending Nico a betrayed look. "It wasn't like it was her stomach."

"It practically was...," Nico mumbled but became silent when her co-star eyed her hard.

Coughing uncomfortably, Yoongi caught everyone's attention as he tried to avert the conversation into something that wasn't as horrific as striking a child with hot cocoa and a knee. "We should probably hit the ice again soon before Jules and Joon find out we got these drinks without them."

"Jules is here?!" Bella beamed, searching around for her through the large gatherings of people on the ice. "I missed that crazy lady, she was the only one who would get my coffee order right."

"She told me she would threaten to get the baristas fired if they kept getting it wrong," Nico recalled, chewing her mouth a little. "That's why I stopped letting her take my orders."

Sighing, you looked up in the ceiling in disapproval as you could feel Yoongi laughing his ass off beside you. That was very Jules of her to do.

After another two hours of trying to figure out how to skate, and basically latching onto Yoongi the whole time as Bella and Nico were doing laps around you guys, you finally made it home.

To say you were exhausted would be an understatement- you were drained.

No, seriously. You hadn't worked out this much since Jules and you almost missed the subway two months ago and had to run three blocks to catch it on time.

That day was dreadful, but you were sure if you went to bed you were going to wake up lifeless like a worm.

"I call the shower first!" you hear Jules scream, running to her room in order to grab her belongings but you were faster and instantly made your way to the bathroom, locking the door before she could break in. "You bitch! How dare you steal it with my back turned!"

Grinning evilly to yourself, you wanted to get your night routines over with so you could hit the pillows quickly. Even after taking off all your makeup, taking a very steamy shower, and doing your nightly skin care routine, you were sure you could easily knock out sitting on the toilet if you had the chance.

We all have done it once in our lives.

Opening the door, the steam flows out smoothly as you face your very displeased roommate on the other side, glaring at you. "All yours," you smile, stepping to the side but she roughly pushes you in response, causing you to yelp as you manage to catch your balance midway.

Mental note, burn her eggs next breakfast.

Stepping into your room, you change into an oversized hoodie and sweats before throwing yourself under your covers in excitement.

The moment you've been waiting for all day: sleep.

Closing your eyes, you feel all your senses slowly drifting away from your body as relaxation crept up from all around. It was truly intoxicating how in trance you were.

But of course with your luck, nothing goes as planned- ever.

Wildly jumping up from the loud blaring of your phone, you cover your face in agony as the vibrations and noise cause pain throughout your entire body.

Who the hell was calling you at 10 o'clock at night? This should be illegal.

After taking a minute to control yourself, the ringing stopped. Good, now you won't have to make time to engage in a conversation. Quickly falling back down onto your pillows, it wasn't even ten seconds later before you feel your phone going off like crazy again.

With you eyes shut, you move your hands around your bed until you feel the cool object underneath your pillow. Lazily pressing any button, without batting one eye open, you move the phone to your ear before releasing a groggy, "What?"

"What a lovely way to greet somebody, kiddo."

You instantly freeze, automatically thinking about the vivid dream you had about him, then Lady Gaga, and felt a blush creeping in.

Slowly pulling the phone away, you let out a loud but fast scream before moving it back. How the hell are you going to begin a conversation without thinking about his lips on yours. "What do you want?"

Pausing for a second, you can hear him move around through his end. "Did you just scream?"

It's not like you didn't just dream about him kissing all over your body two nights ago.

"Did you just wake me up to ask me the obvious answer?"

Act like you don't care. Like you are perfectly fine.

He chuckles lightly and you can tell by his tone he was close to passing out too. "Somebody's cranky, is it past your bedtime?" Pedro teased.

You were definitely not in the mood to handle his ridicules at this hour, especially by how nervous he was slowly making you. What did he want?

"Yes," you simply reply before hitting the red button, ending the call and laying your head back on your pillow. Good, just end it before you make a bigger fool out of yourself.

It hadn't even been another ten seconds before your phone was ringing once again. Pulling it up to your face, you let out a huff. What a shocker, it was him again.

"You better have an insanely good reason as to why you chose to wake me up in the middle of my dream," you immediately say as you press the 'accept' button.

Hearing him laugh, you just know he has a sarcastic comment coming any second. "Wake you up? Honey, you're still living your dream talking to me."

Honey.

No, not another nickname for him to call you in future dreams.

Shaking that thought away, you rejected the idea of him being in any more dreams- you forbid it.

Loss at words for a second, you almost let your next words trip over one another before calmly gaining your composure at the incidental choice of your pet name.

"So funny," you reply back, trying your best to sound sane. "Pretty sure I was dreaming of a very shirtless Matt Healy playing 'Please Be Naked' to me."

Why the fuck would you slip that out.

"Are you trying to hint at something?" he smirks, making you press mute and hold your hand over your mouth to hold back the screams you feared would release.

Feeling like your soul was about to leave your body, you couldn't believe he just said that.

Actually, you couldn't believe you would even recommend that song. God, your sleepiness was messing with your mind.

Finding your energy once again, you unmute the call and try to seem unfazed by his last comment. "Yes, that I want to sleep. Goodbye now."

Before you could hit the red button again, you could hear him chanting over the phone to do the exact opposite. "Don't!"

Groaning, you clutch the phone harder in despair. "I am so tired. Don't do this to me, please. I am a girl who values her sleep!" you whine as you hear him continue his light giggles in the background. "If I don't sleep I will die, is this what you want. Are you trying to kill me?"

"I can reassure you I don't plan on keeping you up long," he explains. "And I wouldn't dare wish for your death."

Your heart fluttering, you glare at your chest. "Then what do you want?"

Moving his phone from one ear to the other, he lays in his bed while smiling at his ceiling. "You," he declares, making you widen your eyes as he shuffles around in his blanket. "Tomorrow, let's hang out."

Sitting up against your bed frame, you furrow your brow. "Hang out? For what?" There's no way you will be able to act normal for a long period of time, your weak-self can't do it.

Placing a hand over his chest, he lets out a light hiss in fake hurt by your comeback before continuing. "Can't I hang out with you by choice and not by a work schedule? Unless you're so disgusted by me." That's when he started his fake cries. "I'm so sorry I am not Matt Healy and can't do a great British accent."

Shaking your head, you try to intervene as his ugly cries become louder through the line. "That's not what I meant, stop being dramatic," you complain as he instantly stops while smiling widely. "Is there a specific reason why you want to hang out?"

Taking a deep breath, he fiddles with the fingers on his non-occupied hand. "Does there need to be a reason?"

You pause for a second. He's acting too kind for your liking and it's making you question what his intentions are. In this point of time, you're sure he's going to take that moment to convince you to work with him in Canada.

"With you there's always a reason."

Scoffing lightly, he grumbles. "I just want to go on a hike and need a hiking partner."

Oh hell no, you already did enough working out this evening. You were not about to do that again, that's for sure.

"Yeah, nooo," you exhale lowly. "I already did too much working out with my body if you know what I mean and-"

"I don't know what that means," he cuts you off.

"It means I am going to be sore for days so my body has no strength to walk for more than five minutes," you declare as he falls silent.

After a few seconds that felt like forever, he replies. "Fine," he blankly states. "Have a goodnight, sweetheart."

The warmth as blood began drawing to your face became present as you quickly reply with a simple "night" before ending the call. And for some reason you felt as if you couldn't breathe normally by the pounding on your chest.

What the hell was happening to you. Looking up at the ceiling, you silently pray you don't have a Lady Gaga 2.0 fiasco.

As you were questioning why your heart made you feel as if you were going under cardiac arrest the night before, your body was currently making you feel if you really needed to make that trip to the ER by how tender you were.

It also didn't help that Jules was the one waking you up at the crack of dawn, half asleep with her eye mask clinging onto her forehead.

"W-why are you-" you grumble, rubbing your eyes as you look at the alarm clock near your bedside. "-waking me up at 6:18am? It's Saturday."

She sent you a death glare for assuming she randomly wanted to wake you up for the fun of it as she was the one who was woken up first. "Someone's here for you."

Positioning your body upwards, you squint your eyes up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you take a look for yourself," she gritted her teeth, swaying her head towards your door.

Slowly standing up, you make your way to it before sneaking a peak of the view of your living room. That's when you see a very annoying man you were sure you both agreed on the phone last night to not go hiking.

Luckily, he didn't notice your wandering eyes as his were glued to his phone, scrolling through his social media.

What was he doing here? You can't face him without thinking about his body wrapped around yours and his lips doing dangerous things.

Oh no, you truly were screwed.

Lightly shutting your door, you nervously turn back to your roommate who looks displeased. "I told him no."

"No means yes, I guess," she replies, snaking her arms around her body for warmth. "I'm going back to bed."

You could hear her walk out of your room as you frantically begin searching for something warm yet comfortable clothes to wear on this undesired hike. You knew if you tried backing out he would stay until you caved, he was very persistent to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was for you to get your ass up and exercise.

You were also certain you heard Jules let out a "thanks for the invite" to him before hearing her bedroom door shut.

Running out of your room, you made sure not to look in his direction so he wouldn't see your morning appearance clearly- well he already has but why reveal yourself in this state again?

Quickly brushing your hair, teeth, and washing your face, you change into a baggy green sweatshirt and some black workout leggings before slipping on suited running shoes.

Try to act natural. Give him little attention so he won't speculate anything. You aren't into old men and did not vision him smooching you on your sofa.

"You are so buying me breakfast," you deadpan as you walked straight out of your door, not even daring to wait for him to follow.

Good, be straightforward.

Laughing to himself, Pedro promptly jumped off the couch and jogged after you once you shut the door on him and continued down the halls to the elevators.

Finally catching up, he barely made it through the elevator doors as they were closing to find you leaning against the corner, mad and tired. "Good morning to you, too."

You let out a small cry as you lay your head against the wall in pain from how frustratingly exhausted you were. If one cold breeze hit you outside you were sure you were going to burst into tears.

"Oh, come one," he walks over to you and nudged your shoulder to wake up some more. If he unexpectedly touched you again you were sure you were going to rip his arm off. "In a few minutes you'll be wide awake and fine."

"How dare you assume I'm going to be fine!" you whine, trying to hit his side but he manages to capture your arm and that's when you give up and allow your worn out body to fall on him.

He instantly wraps his arms around you as your head falls just beneath his chin, your eyes slowly closing and your thoughts drifting away as his warmth was making you drowsy.

You tried to stay focus, but your poor state was taking over and you suddenly weren't as anxious as you once were. Being sleepy really made your mind roam.

"Hey, now," he whispers and looks down to see you snuggling up against him. "You can't fall asleep on me. I do not want your security guards thinking I drugged you."

Tightening your arms on how lower sides, you ignore him as you feel yourself easing closer to dozing off by the constant beating of his heart. "Stop," you mumble, clutching your ears softly before positioning your head on the other side of his chest.

"What?" he curiously glances down at you.

"You heartbeat's annoying me," you lightly whine. "It's pounding against my ears."

Pedro was extremely glad you were too tired to process his heartbeat and the bright red tint plastered across his face. Your drained-self definitely saved him from embarrassment.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and you still weren't moving. You were too comfortable to make any effort to walk on your own and if he really wanted you to hang out this morning then he was going to have to find a way to make you move.

And to him, dragging you was his best option yet. But with care.

Delicately keeping his arms secured around you, he gradually walked out with you still engulfed by him, eyes shut and only moving your feet with his pace.

Honestly, you were surprised how much rhythm you had.

Stopping to pull out his car keys, he unlocked his car and opened his passenger side door once you two reached the garage complex. Gently, laying you on the seat, you station you head against the headrest as he buckled you in. "God, I really hope security doesn't report me."

And once he made it to his side and hopped in, he laughed at the state you were in, head instantly bent to your side and legs tangled together in hope to create some kind of warmth. "Adorable."

But of course you were too dumb to not catch that.

You were awoken by a small speed bump and the instant hit of warmth through the heat vents, your eyes slowly glancing around your surroundings. Taking a quick peep at the screen indicating the time, you read that it was almost 7am.

Tilting your head and leaning against the headrest, you lazily stare at Pedro as he continues to drive to god knows where.

"Don't I look so handsome in the morning?" he jokes before meeting your eyes, sending you a warm grin.

And handsome on top of you.

Shutting your eyes tightly, you beg your imagination to please shut the fuck up.

"You mean drastic," you mutter, moving your head to the opposite side, against the window to force some sleep again.

Better to make time fly by faster knocking out where you were sure you wouldn't say anything stupid.

"Hey, no..." he whines, moving his right arm across to shake your chin softly to keep you conscious. "Don't pass out on me again, I'm lonely."

"And I'm tired, deal with it."

Shuffling in his seat, he looks over to see you curling yourself up in a ball with your legs to your knees and arms wrapped around. Not thinking things throughly, he hits the brakes hard for a split second and watches as your body jolts forward before swinging back against his seat.

"What the fuck!" you shriek, propping your body up and facing him in pure rage. "Are you trying to irritate me?!"

"I'm lonely and you're not helping," Pedro calmly states, shrugging as you continue your daggers his way.

You were beyond pissed. How could he think you would be energetic and talkative right now? How could he attempt to make you fly out the window? You could feel your nerves slowly fading away by the fury growing inside you.

If he wanted you awake then fine, you were going to be awake.

Doesn't mean you had to talk though.

Silently sitting up, you stare at the windshield in front of you and watch the cars drive as he continues to spare you a glance every once in a while.

Honestly, your silence was terrifying the fuck out of him. Normally, you would have some snarky comeback or violent punch to return to his evil tactics, but you were doing nothing.

Literally nothing.

And he knows damn well the sights of trees and cars did not interest you.

"Hey...," you feel Pedro lightly poke your side, pursing his lips once he saw your non-existent reaction. "You're not mad, right?"

Ignoring him, you continue your deep stare now onto more trees as you two were getting closer to nature than streets. You must've been out for some time as you barely noticed how far away from the city you really were.

Joon would really love this.

Gradually lifting his arm up, his places it on top of your own and gives it a small squeeze while laying it there. "C'mon, don't ignore me."

As if that would make you stop your scheme.

Blinking slowly, you acted like you paid no attention to his puppy dog pleads as the car was making its way towards an almost empty parking lot, all surrounded by a forest that only had one route starting within an old wooden bridge.

Pulling up to a nearby parking spot, Pedro parked the car before turning back to try and capture your attention but nothing was working.

You were so damn frustrating, it was infuriating. But he was still desperate to gain your attention.

"Are you just going to sit in here all day or what?" he questions as he waves a hand over your face to make you blink.

You didn't and that kind of frightened him. Work of the devil.

"I am going to cry," he warned, swatting his hand over his face to prepare for his fake tears.

Yet you showed no mercy. Sitting there patiently, you inhaled and exhaled softly, causing him to internally flip the fuck out because why were you being so aggravating when the two of you should be walking and pointing out the squirrels fighting over nuts.

And sadly, he was slowly giving up.

"Imagine if I really was crying," he began, offended you did not care one bit. "Really means a lot how unconcerned you are."

But when you suddenly started examining your nails and carefully picking at them is when he totally lost it.

Reaching over to you and moving his arm down your arm, he swiftly intertwined your fingers with his before moving you posture to face him.

His hand was huge.

"No, no-" he started, pulling a face as you gave him a blank stare back. Act natural. Pulling your shared hands in front of his chest, he sulks. "-please, for the love of whichever god you believe in, or if you're an atheist- for the love of you, please talk to me."

Watching him beg for forgiveness has always been funny in the past, but his pleading for attention now makes you feel bad.

"If you talk to me I will buy you breakfast and a very delicious milkshake that will make you extremely happy for the rest of the day," he continues, using his free left arm to wrap around you as his right one still clutches onto your palm.

He's so warm.

Pursing your lips a bit, you send him a skeptical glance. "Oreo shake with a lot of whipped cream?"

He instantly nods, a smile breaking out. "Of course, anything you want."

You look at the car's steering wheel before averting your eyes back to his. "And a red cherry?"

"I'll buy you a full jar of cherries if it makes you happy," he declares.

"And fries?"

Agreeing, he lets out a quick nod again. "With extra seasoning."

Biting your lip, you proceed to think about other stuff you may want with your milkshake and fries. "A burger?"

"My goodness, woman" he sighs, letting go of you and jumping out of the car before running around to your side and opening your door. "I'll buy you the whole menu, now let's go!"

With that, he vigorously yet cautiously pulls you out of your seat and throws you over his shoulders.

"Oh no!" you squeal, trying to find something to hold on to as he begins his journey, walking towards the bridge to start the hike. Grabbing a hold of his neck, you try not to choke him as you place your arm around it.

If you were going down, you were sure you were going to break his neck in the process. At least it would be a learning lesson for him.

"If you drop me I am never talking to you again," you threaten as he continues down a path.

"Said that before and just did it half the car ride here," he begins, moving his shoulder to give you a little fright of your life. "Now I just found out that all I have to do is buy you food and you'll yap again."

Glaring, you choke him a little to which he chuckles. "Didn't know you were into that."

Speechless, you couldn't believe his words. What the hell was he on this morning?

"Put me down!" you exclaim, immediately moving your body so he would lose his balance. Once he did so, you scowl as he ruffles your hair, making it tangle around. "Hey!"

"Can you stop being negative for a few minutes and enjoy the environment?" he asks, pulling his arms up to twirl around. "Just take in that fresh air mother nature gifted us."

Scrunching your nose, you frown. "It smells like rotten eggs."

"Because of the ducks," he pointed out before patting his pockets. "Which we will be feeding with the bread I brought."

Examining his pocket, you shoot him a curious glance. "How big are your pockets?"

"Not important," he states, grabbing your arms and dragging you along with him down the long trail. "What's important is finishing this trail to feel accomplished."

Pouting, you allowed him to drag you along as you miserably dreaded the next few hours to come. The energy you had to give off just for some damn breakfast.

Shame on you for loving food so much.

Encountering many frogs, lizards, and pigeons who loved flying right by both of your heads and scaring you to death, you had long forgotten about how anxious you were being around him. Being distracted constantly had you occupied which was a relief.

Eventually, you two finally found the drugs.

Or the ducks.

Walking by a huge pond, there were numerous amounts of ducks leaping around with their families following behind. It was really cute, but the smell wasn't.

"I wonder if they can choke on this?" Pedro muttered as he pulled out a large bread. Slowly nearing one medium-seized one in caution, he rips a piece apart and throws it. "It is kind of thick."

Taking a moment to check the bread out, you sigh. "Are you feeding these ducks bolillo bread?"

He pauses, not sure why you would care to ask. "Yes and?"

"They have thick crusts!" you exclaim. "And why not just feed them normal wheat bread?"

"Who even eats wheat? It's bland." he protests. "Plus, this is leftovers from my dinner last night."

"They're ducks! They don't care," you argue as he shakes his head.

"Just imagine if you were a duck," he began, making you huff in annoyance as you just knew he was going to say something ridiculous. "Wouldn't you love to eat this nice bolillo bread, maybe visualize a torta with some carnitas, onions, avocado, can't forget the refried bean-"

"The duck is choking!" you squeal and stare in fear as the poor duck starts to wheeze sharply.

Pedro's facial expressions drops as he sees the poor duck quacking in agony. Nervously rushing to its side, he looks up at you. "Do we pat its back? CPR? Call 911?!"

Pulling out your phone, you type away to find answers for your current problem. It was indeed true that you aren't supposed to feed ducks bread.

Especially thick Mexican ones.

"Give it mouth to mouth if you want chlamydia," you read aloud, causing Pedro to instantly leap away from the duck as it hastily begins to lay on the ground. "Wait, you get that from birds, not ducks. Silly me."

"Ducks are birds," he discloses, trying his best to softly pat the ducks back, finally giving it one powerful swat to help but instead the duck ends ups being thrown a few feet away by his force.

"Do I look like a fucking duck doctor?" you spit out, making him look up confused.

"You mean a veterarian."

Ignoring his last comment, you continue scrolling through more of google's suggestions, finally finding some information that may help. "You need to press down on its chest with 1-2 fingers or just give them water to drown it down."

Immediately grabbing the duck and placing it on its back, you worriedly watch over the duck from Pedro's shoulder as he works his fingers on the poor animal.

However, no luck was given as the duck was beginning to look weak and drowsy as pressure kept being projected on its chest. "We need water!"

Running towards the pond, you motion for Pedro to follow along with the duck as you look for a safe ramp to lead the duck onto. "Let's just lay him down near the water and splash him with it."

"He?" Pedro asks, stopping his movements. "But it looks like a she-"

"We are not arguing over its gender when its literally dying in your arms!" you exclaim, causing him to quickly nod and follow the ramp you found towards the water.

Gently, Pedro lowered his arms near the water with the poor duck taking over his hands. Trying to move the flow of water towards its face, he calls you over. "He's not accepting it, you need to scoop some up in your hand and pour it over his beak."

Rapidly nodding, you do as he says and take a handful and try not to spill it before gradually pouring it over the duck's beak. This water was not clean, but at least it was something. Nothing was happening until your third scoop once the duck began to actually swallow some of the water slowly.

"I-I think it's working! We did it!" Pedro cheered, trying to give you a high-five, failing incredibly as he somehow managed to lose his grip and dump the poor duck hard in the pond. "Oh shit!"

Squatting down, you try to reach for the duck as its face was buried underneath the water before Pedro's body slams into yours, causing you to fall into the dirty, cold pond.

The feeling of thick, muddy water overtakes your body as you lose all sight of air. Quickly moving your arms up and down, you rise back to the surface to find Pedro with his hands over his mouth and his jaw dropped.

He knew he wasn't going to hear the end of it.

"Fuck," he nervously muttered to himself before reaching out for you. "I am so so so sorry, the leaf made me slip AH!-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as you yanked his arm down with you, pulling with almighty to get him to land in the pond. The weight of the water going down with his body diving harshly against it, you knew he was completely soaked.

And probably pissed, but its okay. It's what he deserves.

Waiting for him to come up, he finally did so in seconds looking very unhappy. It made you delighted.

"You did that on purpose!"

Scoffing, you splash him and watch as he gasps harder. "You do a lot of things on purpose."

Using both hands to release bigger waves, he splashes you back. "Don't splash me!"

Growling, you slap his chest as he clutches your wrist afterwards. "You're so lucky I forgot my phone at home."

Gasping, you feel one of his hands fly underwater. "I didn't!" You hold in your giggles as he shuffles frantically before moving his gaze back up. "Wait, I never removed it from my glove department. Be fortunate I forgot it because if you destroyed it I would've made you walk home."

Furrowing your brows, you push his shoulders and make him move back by the force of it. "You're the one who started it. We're gonna get duck chlamydia now!"

Rolling his eyes, he pushed you back, causing you to fall under the water. Once you caught your breath again you notice the way he glares at you. "That's not even a thing."

"Just another STD to add to your list," you jokingly mumble to yourself, sure he didn't catch it.

You were wrong, again.

Launching himself onto you, the two of you fall underwater as he shoves you body around in revenge. Swimming back up, you gasp for air while slapping his arms off you as he tried blocking all your attempts.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he clings his face on your shoulder as he proceeds to try and bring you down under but somehow you manage to wrap your leg around his thigh, causing him to lose his strength and fall backwards with you on top of him.

He sure has one strong grip.

Now, not saying you were going to kill him. But this was your chance to kill him with no witnesses.

Well- besides the ducks, but they wouldn't quack a soul.

Regaining his energy, he lifts himself back up and holds you up, about to drag you under again before you crazily oppose while shaking your head, "Don't! We're gonna get sick!"

"That's not a very sincere apology," he tilts his head, his wet hair scattered across his face as he awaits your alibi.

Huffing, you fight back a rude remark. "Do you understand how much poop were swimming in right now? These ducks are probably laughing at us by how much they are quacking."

Swiftly looking around, the two of you check the surrounding ducks around who blankly stare back. The older looking ones hollering nonsense, probably making plans to kill you and Pedro.

"I bet their releasing their chlamydia right now," you cry, hiding your face in his shoulder as he bursts out laughing.

"I don't think that's how it works."

Glancing down on him, you're surprised by his strength. He's been holding you up by your waist for so long you're shocked he hasn't dropped you accidentally yet. "Let's not find out, let's get out."

"You're forgetting something," he smiles, staring innocently at you, knowing damn well you can't leave without his release. "And I wouldn't wait this one out because I am pretty sure I feel toads swimming near my feet."

Instantaneously, you clung onto him tighter in fear as you could imagine the feeling of something swarming around your body. It was like hundred of spiders crawling all over you, you needed to get out of here.

Pulling yourself back up, you place your hands on his shoulders as he impassively stares back at you, waiting. "Fine," you huff. "I'm sorry for claiming you had STD's before."

Pedro just stays there, not moving an inch as if he wants more. Groaning, you knew he wasn't going to give in so easy. "And I am sorry for stimulating the idea that you would get duck chlamydia," you apologize. "But you can get E. coli."

That didn't help as he just helplessly eyed you, not impressed with your poor excuses of your so-called apologies. What more did he want? You can't necessarily beg on your knees, you're in the water!

Whining, you knew you had to pull out your sincere face. You just knew your Oscar-worthy acting was about to award you freedom.

Softly, you move strands of hair stuck near his eyes away from his face and brush his hair back before quivering your lips and looking down upon him in sorrow.

He has really pretty eyes.

"I'm really sorry," you start as you push your face inside his neck and lock him inside your arms. "I know you don't have any infections, you don't even have visible rashes or sores to prove it."

Pedro finds your plead for forgiveness charming as you squeeze him tighter. He begins to release you until he hears the mutter of your "-that are visible."

"You couldn't hold it in for a few more seconds?!" he whined at how fast you went back to insulting him.

Sighing heavily, you slap a hand to your face. "It's hard!"

Suppressing a laugh, he unwrapped his arms around you and let you get back to the sidewalk. But once you were back on your feet, you looked down to find your body filled with random pieces of dirt, sticks, and grass. "Ew!"

"You're not sitting in my car," Pedro states, waving his head side to side to release some water from his ears.

"You're worse than me!"

"My car, my rules."

Frowning, you weren't sure if he was kidding or not. "Well, you almost committed first-degree-murder so if you don't want people to know you must be my personal servant."

His instant glare turned into confusion as he abruptly moved his attention back towards the pond. "Where did the duck go?"

Widening your eyes, you forgot that you had a helpless duck in your hands minutes ago before your splash attack with Pedro. Scanning your eyes from the sidewalks to the ramps to the pond, you noticed a duck floating nearby. "I think that's them."

Pointing at a duck with the closest familiar colors than the rest, you felt Pedro let out of sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, I would have felt extremely guilty if she would have died."

"It could be a he," you snap back.

He was about to protest but honestly, you were done for the day. You just wanted to take a long and hot shower and knock back out. Not only that, but you ruined your cute running shoes you gifted yourself months ago for your work out journey.

You never really wore them, but it's the thought that counts.

"We can get breakfast another day," you plead to which he didn't argue over because he really wanted to remove the unknown substances off his body asap.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was genuinely scared he may have gotten duck chlamydia .

"Okay, but no sleeping in the car," Pedro states as you exhale loudly. All this and you still weren't allowed to doze off, how cruel is life at the moment.

Walking back to the car would've went down smoothly if the two of you weren't given disturbed looks from strangers and your clothes weren't clinging uncomfortably to your bodies, especially your shoes.

Luckily, Pedro had towels in his trunk and set them down on the seats. "God, I am definitely going to need a deep cleaning after this."

Slipping inside, your hands find the heater and turn it on full blast. Not only was it freezing outside, but your drenched state made you feel like an icicle.

Setting off back to the road, your mind begins to wander back to the question that has been flooding your mind lately. Craning you neck towards his presence, you make out his comfort state. Cool, he's calm.

Here goes nothing.

"So," you start, awkwardly playing with your hands as you try to make direct eye-contact with him as he turns his head to you. "Why did you visit the other morning?"

Lifting a brow, he pulls a face. "Other morning?"

Biting the inside of the cheek, you try to sound composed. "Yeah, remember? You dropped by around 6am-"

"-and you thought I was Lady Gaga, slammed the door on my face, and went back to bed?" he finished, grinning while finding your eyes again. "You mean that day?"

"Well if you knew what I was talking about why make me recall those mortifying details?" you grumble, leaning back against your seat. "And I thought you were a cat."

"I figured, I always questioned why Jules would ramble on about buying Lady Gaga a new electric litter box until I connected the dots," he confessed making you let out a small chuckle.

Yeah, you clearly remember how upset Jules became when Lady Gaga neglected the expensive box.

"But if you're curious, it wasn't because I wanted to go hiking," he smiled, referring to the current day.

"Then why?"

He paused for a minute, checking his mirrors before switching lanes. "I'm not really sure."

Tilting your head a bit, you express curiosity as you glance back. "I don't understand?"

Laughing lowly, he slightly shook his head. "I did wake up real fucking early that day," he started. "Maybe around 4am? Which sucked because I must've gotten like 3-4 hours of sleep."

"So you decided to wake me up so I could feel your pain?"

"No," he stifled another chuckle. "To plant trees."

Squinting your eyes, you become very confused. What is he talking about? He noticed your puzzlement immediately. "You know, go early in the morning to different areas in the city and help dig and replace old trees to plant new ones."

This whole time you were flipping out, wondering why he randomly came early in the morning just to find out it was because he's a nature boy who wants to help out the community?

It was very sweet of him to be as helpful as he was, but you were a little disappointment it wasn't something more.

"That's why?" you ask and he nods. "And why no warning?"

"Well, I was going to call but I figured all that studying you had done the evening before may have knocked you out early," he confessed.

Yet he still made you wake up early today knowing damn well you were exhausted last night. Strange.

"Why me?" you giggle. "I'm not your typical nature girl, Joon would've been perfect for the job."

Shrugging, he leaned his elbow on his middle console. "I thought about asking him, but to be honest I didn't want to pay for any damages he may have caused."

That was a very accurate insight of what Joon really was, clumsy. The amount of times he accidentally dropped his coffee cups, tripped over wires backstage, and face-planted against glass doors would be too much to count on both your palms.

You're surprised he hasn't broken his back again- but still glad he hasn't. That would really suck.

"But have you thought things over yet?" Pedro glanced your way before looking back forward. "About Canada?"

Stiffing up a bit, you move your eyes to the dashboard. You weren't dreading this conversation, but you didn't want to talk about it.

This was a situation where it was a win but also a loss.

Win as in gaining incredible experience, loss that your parent's wouldn't be pleased, it was in a different country, and you'd be missing out on your social life for almost a year.

"Not really," you admit and sense from the corner of your eyes his shoulders fall. "Still indecisive, as always," you try joking to lighten the mood.

Sending over a tiny grin, he mirrors your same expression, doubtful. His face turns concentrated again, leaning closer to you before he shuts down again, ultimately rejecting whatever idea he had going on.

The rest of the drive back to your place went by fast. The two of you made little talk about each other's life and how school was going for you, but he already knew so much already from past encounters.

Pulling up to the red curb you loathe, you crack a scowl as he only returns a smirk at his doing. "I will personally send my property manager to you so she can threaten you."

"I do love threats," he beamed, watching as you reach for the handle before stopping you by his voice. "-but I had fun this morning, despite our little uh...catastrophe," he chuckled, looking down at his clothes.

"I totally agree," you grin. "Dirt just looks so good on me."

He sniggers lightly before slightly sobering up. "But seriously, think about the offer," he begins, nipping at his lip a bit, not trying to put too much pressure on you. "It'll be good for you, you know- your future."

Sighing, you nod. You knew where he was coming from since he's been doing this for so long, but you were still young and had a lot on your mind.

"I'll think about it," you smile, reaching for the door handle and swiftly getting out, missing the way his smile slowly vanishes.

Taking your usual step back, you send him a farewell wave but he does his habitual goodbyes as he gets out of his car and grins to you. "See you around." Laughing, you walk inside the doors and make your way to the elevators, his followed soft "beautiful" being muffled by the traffic on the streets.

It seemed like both of you were screwed.

taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats @avengersheart @fafik7 @chimchimjiminie16 @adriennemichelle98

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #pascalispunk #joel miller x reader #the last of us #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascaledit #fanfiction

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cherrycokegiraffe · 3 months

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Today’s update:

breakfast: joghurt w frozen fruit: 199kcal

during the day: 2x fruit purée: 106kcal

dinner: cheese cottage cheese gnocci: 690kcal (I lost control and got seconds)

chocolate: 241kcal….

ALTOGETHER: 1237kcal

Today was obviously a very unlucky day.. I didn’t want to eat that much (and the dinner is just an estimate), but i also felt horrid the whole day, so the binge was coming. ig its better sooner than later. im starting a 24hr fast right now. until like tomorrow 19:00, im just gonna drink water, coke zero and maybe 2-3 fruit purées.

im going on this weekend trip tomorrow, so no school for me. ig i can wake up early and go to the gym, since today i was so tired i skipped it.

this is your reminder that ITS FINE if you re not perfect everyday. one day isnt going to affect anything (im trying to convince myself as much as you)

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redraven3093 · 10 months

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Catching up with Philza QSM Vod

July 21

WAKE CHAYANNE YOU WILL DIE IF U DON’T DO YOUR MISSIONS OMG PLS

“I’ll stay Alive dad” he says as he did ZERO MISSIONS- lol he did just be Cucurucho all week

“bad lookn SO HOT” QSMP had change him omg

??was Dapper talking to Bad’s Chat??-oh yes he did!!

PHIL NO D:<

“I can be MORE of a shit head”

YES make a new Weapon- cause apparently yours are trash according to Etoiles

Ohh new music- its nice :D

the Dorime song is a copy right one good to know

?? who ruin the old man’s lawn??

CHAYANNE IM GLAD TO SEE YOU KIDO WE MISS YOU

“im not dead yet” he lied

Omg its Tallulah lol- PHILZA PLS THE 4th wall was just fixed u cant break I on first day

Selective literacy of course

POG to Tallulah for trying to roleplay Chayanne she is such a trooper

Yes that so crazy yes yes

Tubbo raid hello

Disclaimer : NOT CHAYANNE

Ohh a forbidden block?- oh don’t you dare play dirty Challulah

Omg PHIL pls these kids have a life

YAY EARLY BIRB STREAM - Omg Tallulah is ALSO ONE OF THE CROWSS??

Ohh MOVIE night?

Safety first before adventure

Aww but Phil think about the AEISTHETIC for your Angel of Death thing- SEE you got ALL the Materials

Godamn those hips- PHILZA PLS

Lol the kids alredy have them

I mean Etoiles was Right your gears was quite shit

Thanks Tubbo

LUCKY DUCKS YEAHH

Ah yes of course “chayanne” did not know Phil adopted her- PHIL PLS THE SONG

Oh god they do that back then?

Challulah update time

Oh the French national day?- ohh Horses- you guys did WHAT to Foolish??- and you Guys become him??- Kelp didn’t help oh no- mean he did ask for it- of Course Tallulah will know better.

Xoxox gossipgirl

Of course you are Chayanne kiddo we all believe you

Ohh new plant pet- RAINBOW??GLAS??- oh no they can get damage now??

Yeah aint that crazy she is with u guys in spirits

Oh god

Love that Phil’s threat was not an attempt at harm but his rage and ire

Oh fuck that Nightmare – ah FUCK CHALLULAH

OH HEY THE BRAZILLIANS

HEY RICHA BABY HOW ARE YOUU

Hey MIKE hii PAC and AYEPIERRE

Oh no the wither

Oh no why are u guys sayog sorry??- omg are they BRIBING HIM???

LOL THEY DID-LMAO they are so Funny- OMG PAC AND MIKE is so FUKIN Awsome

AWW YES THE WEIRD GRAPLING THINGY

Omg pierre don’t do that

BAD MADE THAT NEW BUILDING 2 DAYS AGO?

Yeah Etoiles was so Great

Opp Challulah?- ah forbidden space ok

Huh so the Lucky blocks have a cool down time? – holly that is long

Ah of course Fit will find a way to go around it

“don’t do illegal things in front of the eggs” Philza warns him “some of them have more power than you”, Pierre smiled warily “yes” he agree easily as he lock eyes with the young egg Infront of him “ especially you”

Pierre where the fuq are we??- YEY FLASH LIGHT

OMG it’s a DRILL

Diamond termites? Oh of course you want them Challulah

Cute and Deadly the perfect baby

Yu cant put your near death encounter at the end Challulah you’ll just put him more into a paranoia

It is true

Lol Chayanne pls you have no additional life anymore

DON’T SULK- oh now you trying to be cute eh?- he’s being a brat.

THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION THE KID SHOULD HAVE FLOAT ON WATER ALL THE TIME

LOL HOME

TALLULAH NOOO- LOL 4th wall GONE- oh Tallulah got new PC nice :D

Whats with the fence?- Reddit /architect

Reject the gay/j

Ohhh she plans ey?- a diagram?- YESS

Ohh YES

Omg that would be SO COOL

Aww thanks BAD and Dapper

He is such a good kid-

Oh wait oh no shit Tallulah would die- lol I could hear Kristin on background.

O yah this is goig to be so cool

MOVIE NIGHTT

Lol there is no going back now

Hi again Pierre

HI bad

Yeah you sleepy little shit- HAH clingy- SINGLE FATHER ARC lets GOO

I think Richa have the most parents I think

Dapper IS crazy- lol-

“They LISTEN to YOU”

YEAH the Cinema is fuked

Oh OMG CHAY- imean CUCURUCHO- but lets be Real Chayanne :D

Yeah ya lil shit

Opp where to go kiddo?

Omg bad pls nooo

Oh no Challulah voided- eh?

YEAH WORK OUT TIMEE

HI JAIDEN

Cucurucho the fuk?- hey no CHEATING-

HAH GET PRANKED- oh hey Chayanne- lol Kritin

Woah2 Cucurucho chill- Cucurucho u know Phil can just teleport

Ungay him Phill

Oh hey Foolish

OMG you two- BBH and Foolish is such riot

AWW Preety :D

“a two year old Gunned me down before” foolish says

oMG you all killed me- Chayanne noo

“KELP DIDN’T HELP”

??- omg Foolish Noo- OOOOHHH the Teather is shiny now

Ballon oh you can bumb in to them

POPCORN-NOOOO0- no Jaiden

Hi Pomme

HI WALTER BOB

YEAHHH POP CORNN

Ohh GIFT

Lol the Barbie posters – omg you can put the ballon in the box- Ballon for Chayanne

Retail Philza – Barbie ticket is gone – good lord he sound so used to it.

OH CHOKY MILK

Oh hey Walter- TICKETS –

FOOLISH WTF??

Hey Cellbit.

“im A bby gurll”

MOVIE TIMEE- yeh get the ballon – YOOO

Oh what happened to Walter?- oh yeh poor guy need to get out-MOVIEMOVIEMOVIE

cant fit all of it sadge

#don't mind me #qsmp #headcannons #qsmp eggs #qsmp philza #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp live blogging #qsmp liveblog

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seiwas · 3 months

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this is a bit random (and admittedly and understandably weird?), but im trying to be consistent about waking up early and having a morning routine (lmao is this tmi); im writing/asking you because ur the first person that pops in my head when it comes to mornings (u shared before, if im not mistaken(?), that ur very fond of mornings), SO im talking too much lol, BUT im just really curious (and asking for advice honestly 😔👉🏻👈🏻) on how to stay consistent about waking up early… and loving mornings… 🥹

(u dont have to answer if this is weird! i understand, truly!!) (thank u very much 😭)

hi nonie!! not weird at all omg i find it so sweet that you’ve come to me for advice!! 🥹 i’m so touched!

i love that you’re trying to form a morning a routine—i’m a morning person and a lot of the success of my day hinges on how i start it!

i’ll put this under the cut in case it gets too long!! but these are the things that have personally worked for me!

the night before

get enough sleep! (sleep earlier bit by bit, you don’t have to do it all at once! making it manageable and sustainable is key 🥹)

drinking tea helps too (as long as it isn’t caffeinated)—anything to relax your body and mind!

things around you that can help

alarms help at training your body to wake up at a specific time, you can also adjust this 10 minutes earlier day by day so your wake time pushes back! (over time you’ll find that you’ll be able to do it on your own!)

getting natural sunlight in (personally helps me wake up the most. if you don’t have a window, maybe smth like a timed ac might help too!)

leave your phone far away from you, to the point that you have to stand up to get it! (so you don’t reach for it in bed and stay there and fall asleep again 😭)

the morning of

as soon as you wake up, get up. (this is really tough but it’s a mental battle 😭 you’ll def be sleepy 😭 but i can assure you, the sleepiness will almost always go away around 10 minutes after you get up and move around 😭)

fix your bed! (it can trick your mind into thinking that you don’t wanna get into it and mess it up again)

get some natural sunlight (it’s good for you and i think also helps w your circadian rhythm for later on at night! you can do this by either going out for a walk or if you want to stay in, some yoga by the window is nice too!)

go along your day as planned!

*naps in the afternoon may or may not be helpful, but as a general rule i try to avoid it! but if you really need to get some sleep in, a nice 20 minute nap works wonders for me!

consistency takes time so don’t shock yourself into waking up from 10am one day to suddenly 6am the next—it’s okay to take it gradually! if you want to love the mornings, you’re going to have to make it an enjoyable process for you 🥹

i personally love it because i like seeing the early morning light (not necessarily the sunrise but it’s a softer light right before it becomes really sunny!) (sunrises are also pretty great tho)

i also look forward to mornings a lot because i love breakfast and breakfast food, and i love making my matcha latte! little things like these push me to get up from bed immediately so i can start the day 🥹

i’ve found that it also really helps if i start my day with a workout, but i know this really depends on the person! i prefer it because i have the most energy in the morning and it keeps me awake the more i’m moving!

i hope this was helpful!! let me know if you have any other questions/update me on your progress!! this is so exciting 🥺 a fellow morning lover!!! good luck!! ☀️💗

#this is such a nice question!!!#anon #ask #rep

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neither-blogs · 11 months

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Hello Lovelies!

I just wanted to say that the calorie reduction diet is actually pretty easy, for me, which is surprising considering I messed up the first time. I feel really good and Ive even lost about half an inch or a full inch from around my waist. I have had slip ups after dinner (which wouldnt happen if I just went to sleep) but, they were all harmless foods like seeds, or corn chips, or even a spoon or 2 of rice pudding.

I haven't been able to walk much this past week but I'm going to try to wake up early enough to do my regular 1.5 - 2 hour walk and then I'll have to work around 13:00 so it gives me about an hour gap to figure out how I can start posting vlogs.

More: My friends place.

So I havent spoken to my best friend in a month and I haven't seen her since February so yesterday I went to her place and third wheeled since she had her boyfriend over. It was my first time meeting him and he seems super nice, it was also fun bullying the shit out of him, lol. Anyways, we watched moves and put up a poster, which I almost ruined, she also gave me money for vape but I ended up getting cigs because they didn't have the right one.

More: Fasting.

I have to fast tomorrow but I may have to taste something for work and I wont be able to spit it out so if I do have to taste anything im going to ask for just a little bit and I'm hoping to go to the track on tuesday to work it all off since I feel like walking constantly doesnt do it for me. I also hope my stupid ass stomach doesnt scream while Im working and then I have to explain that im fasting for religious reasons? or that humans can last way wau longer than a measley 24hours without food? idk, I'll think of something.

More: Getting Dizzy.

When I was getting up to get my coffee maker from the top shelf I got so so dizzy, for about a good 10-15 seconds too, it felt super heavenly. I'm hoping to feel that way for often so I know all my hard work isnt for nothing.

[✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮]

Thats it for updates, maybe I'll have something more interesting for you tomorrow.

Bye bye, and wish you well!

-NEITHER

#ed not sheeren #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #tw ana diary #anablr #ed bllog #low cal diet #low cal restriction #calorie deficit diet #edblrr

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bye-bye-firefly · 7 months

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forgot to update BUT the total word count for yesterday was 1753!!! i finished the first scene and started on the next bit of the chapter and i still havent come up with a solid name for the story. So. but yeah i made my word goal and it was GREAT!

so im posting this now when my words are all DONE for today and i am now at 3578 words, which means i wrote 1825 words. we're getting ot the point where im like Excited to write it its not really intro bullshit anymore its like. introducing our characters and having us get more of a sense of who our main girl is and its gonna be AWESOME!

one thing that i am thinking about now is that on sunday i have to go to my mom's birthday party (SHE'S TURNING 50!) and i think its going to be an all day thing or something so im definitely going to have to try to wake up early that day to get my words in. which means no late night gaming with ilya and cal on saturday UNFORTUNATELY. but i think my mom's birthday party is more important than My Word Count so if i dont make it i dont make it i can just make it up on monday. also consider that i am starting my new job soon (which i completely forgot to tell them that i am NOT available for closing on tuesdays...which may fuck with dnd if i dont get that fixed as soon as possible...)

oh this also reminded me. i need to tell my other job i quit. i shall do that Tomorrow its fine

#fae winning nano

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sl1tcl1t · 7 months

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Life Update: Idk where else to write down my thoughts and experiences for almost the past year.

To get myself caught up with the last post I made from last year, it was my final year in HS and I never wanted to leave that rancid hél/hø\e so damn bad. I finally graduated and got into college. This freshman year is the absolute worst. On top of that, I couldn't get a dorm room, which is expected according to the hierarchy of classmen. But anyway, this year's schedule has been extraordinarily harmful to my physical and mentally. Since I don't have a dorm, I gotta commute to my classes every single day. In my case, I must drive all the way from the south to the city (1hr 30min on avg.) This is not a bad drive, unless u wanna beat the I-75/I-85 9 - 5 traffic. Which ALSO MEANS I gotta wake up at 4:00 am and leave the house by 5 if I want to arrive in time for my 8 and 10 am classes. Additionally, my last class during Mon,Weds, and Fri ends at 5pm. I don't get home till about 7. AND on top of all that, Tue and Thurs is when I work my part time shift. The latest my shift can end is at 7:30pm and it takes me at least 30 mins to get home. If I want to get the most sleep possible, I gotta be in bed by 9. My sleep schedule bc of this is incredibly fùçk3d up. Luckily, me and my friend made a little room for me to sleep in my car. Which is also another problem. Bc Im too damn sleep deprived, I oversleep multiple times and end up missing classes. Classes where I can't easily get a PowerPoint w/readily available info to write. I feel incredibly behind.

My mental and physical health has gotten progressively worse since I moved outta my mom's house. I really don't wanna get into grave detail abt my family, but TLDR; both parents are complexly problematic, but one's more flexible than the other. But, Jesus Christ Almighty, living with this man is insufferable. Nothing but complaining, guiltripping, nonchalant shaming, and being plain irritating. He brings a wave of negative energy anytime he enters a room. Granted, there are things that he complains about that are justified, but he's getting more and more senile everyday. So he just gets mad at anything now. It pisses me off but also makes me sad. Another thing is that work is overexerting my well-being whilst giving me such a low pay. For context, I work in a warehouse now. Lifting boxes every other day that are half the size of you will give you nausea. My feet have blisters and my hands are cramping. My calves burn, my entire arm is aching, and my head pounds harder than ever. My friend suggests that I might have burn out, and I believe it with every bone in my body. Working at a place that accepts newly hs grads, ofc there would be å$5h0lés my age and worse. The smell has gotten worse since I moved in w dad. He essentially lives in a white trash neighborhood, so the smell outside is horrendous. This smell has affected the inside of my house and now I reek. And the ppl at work love to remind me abt my smelly ass despite trying my hardest to mask it. I seriously cannot stand other day in there and hopefully I can get a new job this upcoming summer.

But apart from all this, the cherry on top of this shit show was today after work. I got off early and wanted to visit this little gravesite around in my area to take pics and upload on here. I chickened out. It's too damn dark for me to take any so I walked around, contemplating life per usual. I decided to go inside the convenience store. I asked if there were any sleeping pills/melatonin and the guy had asked a question that made my mind go blank,

"Are you homeless?"

Never in life would I hear those words issued to me, but if I'm gonna be completely honest, I live at my dad's house, not paying any bills or insurance (yet), I sleep in my car majority of the day, and I have the worst pay to labor ratio. So technically, Imma borderline broke ass freeloading bum. But anyway, I was even more in shock when he rang my items. I forgot my wallet in the car and told him I was going to run out n grab it, but he just gave me the bag with an empathetic, "it's okay". And now I feel like a piece of shit to completion. Bc in hindsight, Im not HOMELESS, but it damn sure feels like I am.

I can't believe Im turning into every person I've met in the workforce. Ppl who just live paycheck to paycheck and just let the days past by; not doing anything but working. I use to make fun of those ppl at my last job as a cashier while in HS, but seriously, I got the realest reality check of my life. I really cannot live a life like that for 30+ years if I can't figure something out by graduation. Else I'm better off with maggots in my eyes and my skin wilting in the ground.

I'm done ranting, I need some sleep.... GN and happy Halloween ✌🏽

#personal vent #vent #rant #vent post #tw vent #anxiété #ranting #quick life update #life update #real life #this is me #i got nowhere else to put this so i'll keep it here #this is real #this is rough #this is reality #thus is life #revelation

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notncl · 2 years

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i was sunshine, he was midnight rain

our relationship was not really the typical “goals”, fun, adventurous type of relationship. It was more of like waves that is either calm or chaotic. We were always on extremes states not really in between. He was the calm guy in our relationship and i was mostly the chaotic one who obviously makes a big deal out of the simple things. Our relationship mostly consisted of him focusing on building a career and i trying to get through each day in med school. Our dates would usually consist of us staying in the condo studying and waking him up early for work. Our days would mostly consist of few msgs, jgh updates and good night texts. We didn’t have all the time to be together thats why i’d always wish that we can just stay how we are when we’re together and never go back to our reality. He is my safe haven. He brings both calmness and chaos in my life. He gives me all kinds of emotions i possibly l know i can feel. He made me realize how much i can and willing to give for us. Our relationship right now is currently not in the highs probably because he currently has this priority of building his self thru his career. It honestly takes so much patience, sacrifice, and understanding for my part to the point that ive already doubted if i was actually settling for someone less? you just cant help to think if youre finally with the right person when you see all these fb and tiktok posts claiming you deserve someone who would cross oceans for you because with him it was more of letting ourselves grow and stand on our own feet. He’s not sweet as he was before. We rarely talk about our days anymore. The I love you’s probably lessened. The clinginess also faded. Late night call never happened again. The effort is slowly fading as well. They say that if you want a relationship to work even after the honeymoon phase.. simple effort should still be there. Its not really about the grand gestures but mostly the simple ones will do. This was something i’d always tell him but he always reasons out na “ubos na siya” because of work and its hard for him to give when there’s nothing already in him. I honestly dont know where to place myself :(

He never really bothered me with his problems, he mostly wanted to deal it on his own. Thats just how he is. He comes to me if he needs support and encouragement and id happily be there for him. He had his own things and personal space that doesnt like to be touched and i looked like an open book.. very transparent and easy to be read.

our relationship now has reached its rock bottom probably at least for me cos idk his pov? there’s just no spark anymore. he stopped being sweet. he doesnt compliment me anymore. he doesnt really show effort anymore. doesnt lambing me when im tampo. doesnt want to communicate when i fight him. he’s probably better when we’re having sex or when he’s just horny. He probably uses me as a release of his emotions? idrk cos i think we’re ok when we’re together in person? but we feel like a tragedy when we’re apart.

at this point i feel so numb…. and very torn. a part of me wanted to make this relationship work so bad!!!! but there’s also a part of me wanted to happy.. to be free from all the pain. its like a part pf me that wanted to be ok, to be able to get the love i deserve. i know in myself di naman ako nagkulang sakanya, but if he thinks im already being too much.. god pls give me the strength to leave.

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catlady-ily · 2 years

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dear diary;

sorry for the lack of updates! it's been a mix between busy and uneventful lately and overall i've just been tired.

not too much happened on wednesday - i had some pretty boring classes, but i hear my sport teacher gave us permission to flip off any of the boys from the other class if they catcall us while we're running. i love this sport teacher, he gives me a C just because i actually try in that class (every other semester, i got Ds bc i kinda suck at sport), so that's pretty cool!! and, other than that, i ended up cutting myself again. not sure why, just did.

thursday was a little bit more eventful i think?? idk - we had an icas test first period for english. icas is this testing for extension students and im not entirely sure why we do it, but it did mean not having a normal english lesson, so i can't exactly complain. during math class, something rlly funny happened - so at some point, the teacher explained something, which like always, was followed by a collective "ohhhh" from the class. but for some reason this time everyone started moaning!! and the teacher's response was "well i'm glad you all enjoyed that 😭. after school my family went to ikea!! not completely sure why, but i did get some candles!! i love ikea candles. and the food there - i ate a lot, rlly proud of myself!!! i love ikea.

friday was, well, a bit scary. i started the day by waking up early to finish a science poster that didnt even end up being due that day- halfway through drama class (which is going rlly well btw!! i'm rlly enjoying our performance so far), a lady came to take me out of class for the rest of the lesson and i didnt know why until she took me to her office and sat me down. turns out she was the youth support officer at the school and someone had made her aware that there were cuts on my arm. basically i ended up telling her the full truth, why i started initially, that i wasnt sure why i started again now, it was just scratches with some scissors, etc. then she said she would have to call my mom and let her know for the sake of my safety. although i begged her not to, she ended up calling my mom anyways, and i basically just started hyperventilating and crying a bit bc i was rlly rlly scared she'd be mad. luckily, she didnt seem to be angry at me, just a bit shocked bc she thought i'd been going so well lately and sad bc she didn't want me to be hurting myself. that afternoon she spoke to me about it and said the same thing. she then said she had to tell dad, i begged her not to, but she said that it wasn't something she could hide from him. so, she told dad, and i sat there absolutely terrified the whole time. anyways, it went ok, dad said the same thing that mom did, and they both said that we can maybe talk about it together another day.

saturday and sunday were exhausting - i worked in the mornings (on saturday i had to stay an extra hour because one of the new coworkers wanted to go home a bit earlier) and then in the afternoons i was so tired that i really couldn't do much. i hear from my coworker that she loves working with me bc i work hard and i always get stuff done (contrary to our other coworker, who's older than me and just kinda mopes around the whole time) and that one of our superiors is also rlly happy with my work!! im rlly glad to hear this, means my efforts are paying off :3

my eating's getting a lot better which is amazing!! im no longer hungry all the time, and i think im getting some good food in >w< only goes upwards from here!!!

oki i have to leave for school now, so i'll end it here!

love, kitty 💕

#dear diary #personal diary #diary entry #imtryingmybest #im trying to romanticise my life idk whether or not it’s going well #girlboss

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liptonsbabe · 2 years

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hi i was wondering when time part 3 was coming out i really loved part 1 and 2 and im really curious about whats going to happen next

Time [J.B] Pt.3.1

Summary: Your mother's will was about to be opened and you decided to travel to hear it. Jacob thinks he's lost you forever, but a call from Edward brings you back to Forks. A sacred promise will bind you to Bella beyond death.

Word count: idk. It's too long lol

Warnings: angst. Pure angst. Angst series. I love angst lol

A/N: IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. I was so busy with school and my korean lessons that i have no time to write. I’m on vacations now so i’m going to update a lot more!. If you have some wolfpack request you can drop it in my box! :D. btw this is the part 3.1, part 3.2 will be updated tomorrow!

Same note as ever english not my mother language so tell me if something is wrong. Enjoy!

"Okay, that's enough, get up."

Charlie came into your room, he walked over to your bed and pulled the covers away from your face. You growled angrily, stretching your arms out wanting to reach for the covers but Charlie pushed them away as far as he could. Then you plopped back down on the bed, covering your face with the pillow. Your father sighed.

"It's been two months, how long do you plan to live like this?"

"A couple more months, i think."

"It's not funny. I want you to leave this room now. Geez, first Bella and now you?”

"I don't know what are you talking about."

"You know very well what I'm talking about. Being sad all the time, not leaving the house, ditching your friends, the screaming in the night..."

"I've never screamed."

"...the nightly groans that wake me up thinking you're hurt" he corrected. You sighed "It's not normal. And I don't think it's right that you're going through that for a boy. Your behavior has changed and I don't like it. I've talked to Billy and Jacob isn't any better. It seems...it seems like being apart...it seems like it physically hurt you guys."

You felt Charlie sit next to you putting his open hand on your waist caressing you lovingly. He was sick worried and it wasn't fair for him to carry so many burdens on top of the ones he already had because of his job. You uncovered your face and without daring to look at him you shook your head.

"That's silly."

"Then don't make me think in that possibility. I don't know what happened between you two and I'm not going to pressure you to tell me, but I'd like you to at least try to resume your life outside these four walls. You're about to start college and you haven't even picked a school."

"I’ll do it later."

"When?"

"When I wanted to do it, Dad, it's not your decision to make."

"Your mother wouldn't be happy to see you like this."

Your heart stopped for a second and the pain in your chest intensified. Charlie was right. The last thing your mother would want was to see you in rags leaving your dreams behind, however, you didn't feel like starting a new chapter in your life was a good idea when the previous ones weren't finished yet. Besides, the anniversary of your mother's death was near and it made you sensitive to remember the past.

"Please don't mention her."

"About that" he said, stroking your matted hair "Early in the morning your aunt called to talk about your mother. It's her fifteenth anniversary and her will is to be opened. Your aunt wants you to travel to Tennessee and be there at the reading."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but it seems like a good idea if you ask me" You saw Charlie smile slowly, his hand was caressing your arms making them warm. You noticed the concern for you in his brown eyes and felt sorry for him "I think getting away from here for a while-"

"I don't want to go away" you replied. For the past two months you had suffered through hell being away from Jacob and you knew that leaving Forks would make everything worse. You didn't want to see Jacob in your life, but you also didn't want him to be in pain so deep that it would kill him. Besides, you didn't know what would happen to you if you decided to move thousands of miles away.

"It's for the best, honey."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I don't want you to leave either" Charlie smiled. If he could save one of his daughters from marrying a boy in a hurry then he would "But if your mother's sister called it means it's about something important, don't you think? Besides, it's about mom. Do it for her."

Your heart ached. You loved your mother and even though it had been a while since she died you felt very attached to her. You thought about it for a long time. You didn't want to hurt Jacob but you didn't want to disappoint your mom either, you loved her and she loved you. Then you thought Jacob could live with that. He would endure the pain of feeling you away and if he didn't then you were willing to die from the pain. Jacob hadn't broken the bond yet. He'd rather live with feeling a wounded heart than lose you forever. He was a selfish bastard and you weren't going to let him. Not anymore

You sat up in bed. Charlie jumped in surprise and stared at you. You squeezed your temples for a moment clearing your mind and replied:

"Okay, I'll go."

"Really?"

"Really. You're right. I can't do this to her."

"Your aunt will be so happy to see you" You smiled "So, what do you want me to tell Jacob?" asked Charlie. You frowned. The truth was that since the fight he had been looking for you at home and calling you on the phone, but you never answered his calls. Charlie asked Jacob for some time for you to relax and that you would pick up the phone when you were ready, even though you both knew that wouldn't happen. You had your pride. You were going to hold on to it with all your might.

"Nothing. I don't want you to tell him anything. He doesn't have to know I'm gone" you lied. He would know it throught the bond "And if he gets a hint of it don't tell him where I am."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"Dad, don't you want to come with me?"

"Ah, I'd love to, but I have work and I can't leave the station alone, you know" you nodded. You didn't want to leave your father alone "Anyway I'll keep an eye out for anything that happens and you can call me anytime"

"Okay."

"Okay, start packing, I'll book your flight"

Charlie came out of your room and went down the stairs two at a time. He picked up the phone and you heard him speak quickly. You stood up and walked to the mirror, you looked terrible and the bags under your eyes showed how little rest you had had the last few months. You were noticeably thinner and your hair was starting to get greasy. You decided to quit any thoughts of Jacob and concentrate on your trip. You were excited to see your mother's family again, although you were worried about leaving Charlie alone and having him neglect himself by prioritizing his work. You thought about talking to Billy and asking him to take care of your father, however, you gave up. That meant being close to Jacob, smelling his scent and feeling his warm skin and you knew that if that happened you wouldn't have the strength to leave.

No way, Charlie would have to be reasonabl and take care of himself until you returned.

You touched your chest. The pain was still there. You had to be strong. If you had endured that pain for two months, then you could endure it some more, this time adding a few miles to it.

You weren't going to stop for Jacob Black. Not anymore.

Suddenly you thought your mother's will had been the reason to get out of bed and end the sadness. It wasn't worth it. If Jacob preferred Bella then he didn't mind feeling the pain you were now feeling as long as he was still tied to her.

With that thought you went into the shower, ready for the water to wash away the traces of your sorrow.

The truth was that leaving Forks was harder than you tought. You were determined to move on with your life and returning to your mother's hometown seemed like the best thing you could do, but the pain in your chest was a permanent reminder of what you were leaving behind.

The last few hours of the flight were pure hell. The priming pain grew as you got closer to Tennessee and on your road trip the choking sensation was unbearable. Your aunt, who had picked you up at the airport, saw you in bad shape during the drive and you brushed it off by saying that car rides made you dizzy. She guffawed without noticing how your hands clenched trying to keep you conscious.

"Your mother used to get the same way when we went to visit our grandparents' house uptown. She had to take motion sickness pills and bring a paper bag with her. Once he threw up twice before he was halfway there."

"Is it much farther to go?" you asked as you closed your eyes and leaned your head against the back of the seat

"Nah. We took longer than usual because of the traffic, but we'll be home in five minutes"

"Great."

"Charlie's okay?"

"Yeah, Dad's been working a lot, you know"

"When I talked to him he said you've been really down lately, do you want to tell me what happened?" you shook your head. The last thing you wanted was to remember every single thing that hurt you when the pain of the bond was trying to kill you. Your aunt nodded not wanting to push you "Okay, no worries."

"Thanks."

"And what about Bella, what happened to her?"

"She got married"

"Really? Ah, amazing. She's very young, tho"

"And Edward's a weirdo" Your aunt laughed

"You don't seem to like him too much"

"It's not that. It's really not my problem, Bella chose him and I don't want to talk about it. It's just... I don't know, it's annoying."

"Ah, I get it. Jelousy."

"I'm not jealous."

"It's okay, after all it's always been the two of you against the world. That someone else took her away from you..."

"You know Bella and I stopped being close a long time ago" you replied half opening your eyes to look at the window. The house that was your grandparents' could be seen from the rearview mirror "When she came to Forks she changed. It seemed as if Edward had molded her as his wish. I don't like this new Bella."

"I'm sure Bella is still the same innocent, clumsy, good-hearted little girl I knew years ago" your aunt said as she parked in the driveway. She looked at you with a smile and stroked your chin "Just because she had fallen in love doesn't make her a stranger to you. That's what love does, it changes people for better or worse. No one is the same after meeting their soul mate. Someday it will happen to you too, honey, and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Come on, I'll carry your bags."

Your aunt got out of the car, opened the back door and took your few suitcases deftly. You were left alone for a moment thinking about her words. Love had changed Bella, that was a fact, but it had also changed you and that was no sin. Maybe you had been misjudging Bella all this time and Edward was what she needed to be what she really wanted to be and to feel happy. Bella had made it, she was now married to Edward and not even death was going to be able to tear them apart. Edward would have to turn her into a vampire at some point and then you and Charlie would be just a memory.

The thought of that made you sick. Bella would see her parents and you die at some point and that was the price she had to pay for choosing to join her existence to Edward's and you wondered if the pain you felt in your chest was your price to pay for Jacob’s or if this was just a taste of what was in store for you later.

You sighed. Whatever it was you were ready for it.

You got out of the car and walked up the driveway. Everything was just as you remembered it and even the front of the house still had the down marks with which you and Bella had written your names intertwined. The main living room had a more opaque tapestry, but it didn't make much difference from before. The furniture was the same and the stairs were now lined with a plush brown carpet.

You took off your shoes feeling the plushness caress your feet and for the first time in a long time you felt happy. That house brought back many memories and the face of your living mother was one of them. Living in Forks you had forgotten how it felt to be in Tennessee where you had spent the best years of your life. That ended when your mother died and Charlie became so engrossed in his work to forget the pain that you didn't set foot in that house again until that time.

You saw your aunt come down the stairs reaching out her hands to take yours. You were a little cold and the shock of memories had made you sensitive. Your aunt patted your arms.

"Are you all right, little one?"

"Yes. It's been a long time since I've been here."

"Well, after your mother died a lot of things changed. I left this house and your father took you with him to Forks, so there was no one to take over the property til now, I hope" she said, looking at you with a smile. You didn't understand her gesture "The reading of the will is scheduled for today. The notary is already in my father's office, but if you are too tired we can schedule it for another day. There is no rush at all."

"I'm fine," you replied. Suddenly you felt that house filling you with an unfamiliar energy and the presence of the imprinting didn't seem to burn your heart. Your aunt tilded her head, trying to know if you were lying "I can handle a couple more hours awake. Please, let's do it now."

"Okay. Come with me."

You remembered Grandpa's office. It was a huge room filled with pictures and photographs. His mahogany desk was still in the same place as always and his wine bottles were perfectly lined up on the shelf. A huge painting of your mother hung on the right wall. You stopped to look at it and smiled. Your mother was a beautiful woman and you could see how happy she was through her smile. Her hair was down and her eyes were sparkling. That was a good portrait. A very good portrait that made you think you were seeing your mother alive in front of you.

Next to it was a picture of your grandparents with your mother and aunt. They were only children so they had grown up very close to each other. It was sad to think of how your aunt had been left with nothing and you were the only family she had now.

Memories floated back to you in a rush. You walked over to the desk finding a framed sheet of paper. On it was a drawing you and Bella made for him. Your stomach churned. You didn't know your grandfather treasured things like that.

Bella wasn't one of his family, yet they always made her feel welcome. Renee allowed Bella to sleep there and your aunt and Bella's mom were friends. There was always a cordial treatment and that made things more easier. You wished nothing had changed. That your mother and grandparents were still alive and that time had not passed and that Bella and you were still those little girls without fear of the future.

But time was a strange fortune and you knew that perfectly well.

You sat next to your aunt and greeted the notary with a smile. He asked your name, your age and where you lived. You felt uncomfortable for a moment, so your aunt took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze and promised you that everything would be fine. You answered the questions and after the notary asked for your mother’s sister consent to continue, he opened your grandfather's desk and from it took out a sealed yellow folder.

"You may not know who i am, but I’ve been a family friend for so many years and I still remember your face perfectly" he said with a bright smile."You were a little girl back then. Time flies by, doesn't it?"

"It does."

"And now we're here fifteen years later."

"To hear mom's will, I know, my aunt told me."

"Right. Before anything else I want you to know that I was very fond of your mother and I’m sorry to said that i was the person that heard her last wishes before she died. She was a great woman and I promised myself to protect her will and respect her wishes. So, I would like you to listen carefully and ask your questions at the end."

You and your aunt nodded. Your back suddenly tensed and your aunt grabbed your hands under the desk. You were nervous. The notary began to open the envelope and you thought some kind of surprise would come out of it and explode in your face.

The man pulled out a single white sheet of paper and against the light you saw your mother's beautiful handwriting. Your eyes stung. You wanted to cry.

The notary read the paper with his galsses down. The first words were an affectionate greeting your mother had left for you, followed by a very long paragraph where she said how lucky she was to have you and how happy you made her. Without realizing it, the tears came out and soaked your cheeks. The man continued and when the will entered the estate section he paused for a whole minute.

"Charlie is a good father, he'll do anything to protect you and himself, but god knows that man is so clueless that he'll end up living in the police station at some point. I don't doubt about his abilities to take care of you, not at all! but I wish once in a while you and him and Bella could get away from the everyday a little bit, you know, maybe a vacation would be good for you! and this house is just right for it. With your grandparent’s death this house wasn't the same anymore, it doesn't make sense that a place full of memories get wasted like that, so first of all I would like you to have it, Y/N. Take it it’s yours"

You wiped your tears and looked at your aunt. She looked at you and stroked your hair.

"I always knew your mother would do something like this."

"But she can't, can she? Bequeath something that isn't hers."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn’t right" you replied "She can't do something like that. This house is yours too, I couldn't take it"

"Why not? You heard what your mother thought about it and I agree with her. When my parents died this place lost meaning. Your mother died too and I was left with no reason to be here. The pain of memories was stronger than me and I couldn't deal with it. This house is your grandparents' inheritance to your mother and me, half of everything is mine, but I'm willing to give that up if you accept your mother's last will"

"I couldn't" You refused "Dispossess yourself of your house..."

"For God's sake, don't put words in my mouth that I haven't said" she let out a laugh "You're not dispossessing me of anything. I am the one who is handing you what i have. It was your mother's wish and now it is mine."

"If that’s so then I will need your signature here" the notary said to your aunt. She nodded and without another word she accepted the pen he extended to her. You noticed that the man was handing her a sort of contract where she was donating her part of the house to you without any interest in between. Your eyes glistened with tears. It seemed as if your mother had planned that from the beginning knowing that at some point your broken heart would need time alone to put its pieces back together.

The notary sealed the contract and continued reading.

"Finally, I want you to know that it was never my will to leave you. If life could grant me a wish that would be to be by your side forever, to see you grow and have your own family, however I know that that will not be possible. I won't be with you to share everything I planned when I knew I was expecting you, but I know that Charlie will, and with Bella you’ll be happy. I love you, little one. Being your mother was the best thing that could have happened to me. Forever and always. Mom. Well, that was it" You sobbed one last time feeling your aunt's hands squeezing yours "As you know it has been fifteen years and it was time for the will to be opened. Your presence was very important and I appreciate you coming."

"This...all of this...is very confusing."

"Why?"

"This house would have to be yours" you told her. Your aunt smiled "I... Dad knew, didn't he?, that's why he insisted me to come?"

"There was no way for any of us to know, but we sensed it. Your mother loved this place and she also knew that the memories of what was here would destroy me. But not you, not her brave little girl."

"It's... great. Really great. I don't know... what should I do?"

"What about... to move here?"

"What?"

Your voice sounded louder than you expected and they both looked at you in surprise. You cringed in embarrassment, shrank back in your seat and waited for one of them to respond. The notary felt the tension between you two, he apologized and then he left. Your aunt sighed

"Wouldn't you like to?"

"It's not that. I... What about Forks?"

"What about it?"

"How could I leave? The people I love are there. My friends, my school, my father."

"Honey, you're about to start college and there are some very good schools here where you could start from scratch. Charlie will be fine on his own, he's a grown man and can take care of himself. friends? honey, I've been in contact with your father for month, do you think he didn't tell me the way you ditched your friends and locked yourself in your room?" You shrugged your shoulders

"I don't want to left Charlie."

"He'll understand."

"He'll be alone."

"Baby, I know it's not Charlie you're worried about. That Jacob guy...do you love him?"

You looked at your aunt. Surely your father had told her everything and the two of them had planned to get you out of Forks as soon as possible. Your situation with Jacob was getting worse every day and Charlie was beyond tired

Thinking about Jacob brought back the pain of the bond. You needed to be with him, to feel his warmth and hold him til you forgot the hurt you had done to each other, however, that was no longer an option and moving to Tennessee was the perfect opportunity to leave the wounds of a hellish love in the past.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Whatever happened between us...it was a mistake. He never loved me and I held onto him as long as I could. It was a mistake. You're right, it's better for me to stay, to rebuild my life here."

“are you sure?”

“I am”

Your aunt hugged you.

"Will you be okay?"

For a second fear filled your chest. No, you weren't going to be okay. At some point the bond would become so strained that it would end up killing you, but you were willing to take the risk. You were no longer going to give in for Jacob Black. He was left in the past with Forks and that's where he was going to stay.

That night your aunt made a nice dinner and you saw old pictures together. Remembrance were heavy and made you melancholy, though remembering the old days where your life seemed to be easier comforted you wonderfully. Your aunt talked and talked through dinner and when the clock on the dining room wall struck one o'clock in the morning she let you go to your room.

Your bags were already there. That room was the one you and Bella shared every time you visited your grandparents' house and it hadn't changed at all. You didn't bother to turn on the lights,so yout lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling that was lit by the phosphorescent stars that Bella had hung up long ago.

You were worried about Charlie, you didn't want to leave him alone and you didn't want to abandon the pack either. Jacob was a complete jerk, but the rest of the boys were your friends and you loved them. Your heart couldn't handle being away from your friends, but it wasn't going to handle having Jacob so close after what had happened either.

You closed your eyes tightly. Maybe begin again was for the best. For you, for Jacob, for everyone.

Your stomach churned. You were afraid, was that what you really needed to end the pain or would you just put it off as long as you could?

"Y/N, Charlie's on the phone!" your aunt announced from the second floor. You rolled over on the bed and grabbed the phone from the stool, put it against your ear and listened to your father's breathing on the other end

"Hi, dad."

"Hi, little one, how are you?"

"Fine, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, no. I was just... calling cause I wanted to know how your flight was. I waited for you to do it but apparently you didn't have much time."

"I'm sorry" you whispered "I forgot."

"It's okayt."

"Dad" You interrupted him. You looked up at the ceiling again. Charlie cleared his throat "You planned this didn't you, you and my aunt?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You guys knew what Mom had put in her will."

"Something like that."

"And that's why you asked me to come."

"It was what your mother wanted."

"Dad..."

"Your mother and I talked about it a long time ago. When your grandparents died the house would be left alone and your aunt would close it. You moving there seemed like the best option for you. I wasn't going to let you repeat Bella's story. Suffering for a boy, changing for him and believing you can't live without him around”

"You should have told me the truth, that you wanted to get rid of me when i asked you."

"It wasn't easy for me to let go of my little girl so her heart could heal."

"What about you, are you going to stay alone in Forks?"

"Of course, I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, sure."

"At least i’ll try."

You both laughed and Charlie sighed into the speaker.

"I love you, (Y/N) "

"I love you, Dad."

You chatted for a while til Charlie realized it was too late for you to be awake so he said goodbye, asking you to take care of yourself and try to pick up where you left off. He hung up shortly after although the phone rang again immediately.

"Dad, I was just about to go to sleep, what-?"

"It's me" Your breath stopped as you heard Jacob's voice like a whisper. Your heart raced and the pain in your chest that you had been trying to suppress all day hit you hard. Your hands shook and suddenly everything seemed to spin "Please don't hang up, talk to me."

"How... how did you get this number?"

"It doesn’t matter."

"It does for me. Charlie gave it to you?"

"He would never do that. Not after what happened."

"So it was Billy, wasn’t he?"

Jacob fell silent, but you knew you'd hit the nail on the head.

"He saw the number in Charlie's address book while he was at your home."

You bit your lips avoiding saying anything about it. You loved Billy, but he had crossed the line. You understood why he did it, Billy kept believing that time would change his son so he could love you, yet you knew that wasn't possible and the only thing time would do would be to help you both deal with the pain.

Jacob sighed.

"Please don't blame him, dad just wanted to help."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"can we just... talk? no fights, no screams, just talk" .

"About what?"

Jacob thought hard, so hard, that he was silent for about five minutes just listening to the sound of your breathing. That didn't make sense, but you still refused to hang up and Jacob did the same. You bit your lips and your eyes stung when you heard him say:

"I miss you."

A sarcastic laugh came out of your mouth.

"How long were you rehearsing that in front of the mirror?"

"What?"

"It was hard for you to say, wasn't it?, Damn, you really must be rotten on pain that you preferred to settle for the imprint you got and keep the bond from killing you."

"That's not what this is about."

"Then what is it about?"

"It's been a while... I thought we could talk, try again, for real this time."

"My attempts were always real, Jacob. I don't know what you were doing all this time but I gave you more than you deserved."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"And now that I'm gone... now that I'm gone you feel the strain of the bond and that has forced you to seek relief anywhere. I can feel your pain, the latent despair burning your chest and trying to kill you every second of the day. I know, I feel it right now, but you know what, screw that, Jacob. I hate this, i hate you. It’s a nightmare. Imprinting isn't finding your soul mate, it's a curse . It's a disease that eats away at you and being with the person you've imprinted on is like medicine: you don't want to take it, it makes you sick and turns your stomach but you need it to feel good and there's nothing else in the world that gives you that same relief as what's tailor-made. I'm sick of it and I'm not willing to go back to that."

"What do you mean?"

"I left Forks and i'm not going back."

"What?, You can’t be serious!"

"I'm dead serious."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to. That's how leaving works, isn't it?, you go away and leave everything behind, including people. That's what you did. Now I'm doing the same thing."

"What will happen to us-our bond?"

Your throat closed up. You hated feeling so vulnerable

"Break it."

"No way. The pain would eventually kill you."

"I'm ready for that. I'll resist."

"I'm not going to do it."

"Would you rather if i do it?"

"I love you" he said and your lips parted "I realized it in the time we've been apart. I think I always have and I didn't know it until I couldn't feel your presence anymore. I was confused and didn't know what to do. Now I know and I want to make amends for my mistakes, starting with being honest with you. The imprinting doesn't speak for me, this is my soul calling for you, can you believe me?"

You sighed.

"I'm hanging up."

"Tell me what you need and I'll do it" He pleaded in a whisper. You imagined him resting his head against the kitchen wall. He was desperate and your heart wanted to give in to him.

Nothing was going to change, it was too late. You loved him, but you couldn't wait for him anymore. Life would get out of your hands and you were not willing to tolerate an intermittent love.

Yet he seemed honest. You'd never seen him talk like that or plead like that before. Jacob must’ve been really desperate to call and ask for another chance. Either way it was all done and now it was thousands of miles between you two. You weren't coming back and if Jacob really wanted to redeem himself then he would have to endure the pain he once put you through.

Your hands pressed against the phone. The clock struck quarter past three in the morning.

"Time" you said and hung up the call.

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I’m sorry, i couldn’t tag some of u guys :(

#jacob black imagines #jacob black x reader #jacob black imagine #twilight saga #jacob black #quileute wolfpack #twilight cast #paul lahote #sam uley imagine #sam uley #twilight #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote imagines #seth clearwater imagines #seth clearwater imagine #twilight imagines

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bbyboybucket · 3 years

Text

Stay

Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky loves to cuddle, he’s especially clingy in the mornings.

Warnings: none? A mention of sex? Pure fluff and just soft, lovey Bucky.

A/N - this is pretty short, basically a drabble, I just love the idea of Bucky being clingy and needy. And also cuddling, just cuddling Bucky is something so perfect to me. I haven’t wrote in a while or updated my series so hopefully this makes up for it. Also I’m weak asf bc im posting this while I’m at the doctors office lmao

—————————

Your eyes fluttered open slightly, letting the early morning light shine in them a bit. You were just regaining consciousness, still feeling tired though. You almost let sleep take you back until you felt a tightness against your waist and a solid wall against your back, which was enough to bring you to your senses. You opened your eyes fully, and tried to stretch a bit with a soft yawn, but you couldn’t move much from the arms and legs you were wrapped up in. You smiled softly to yourself before you felt your boyfriend’s head nuzzle into the side of your neck.

“Bucky, you awake, baby?” You whispered gently

“Mhm.” He replied, his hum deep and groggy while he slightly nodded his head against your neck. There wasn’t even a centimeter of space between the two of you yet you tried to snuggle yourself further into him with a smile.

This was something you surely wanted to enjoy as long as possible. Waking up, being held tightly to him was something rare yet near heavenly. You’d only been dating for about a month at this point so it wasn’t often that you slept together. Only a very few times such as when he’d had a nightmare or the one time he stayed in bed with you after sex. There would certainly be more where this came from but you wanted to enjoy it nonetheless.

You felt his warm breath brush against your skin, you could feel his chest rising and falling against your back. He moved his hand to your breast and started to rub his fingers into it lightly, yet innocently. You were settled into it, very comfortably, when you got the unfortunate feeling of having to pee.

“Hey, buck?”

“Hm?”

“I gotta pee, can you let me up for a second?” You spoke softly, still in the same position with your eyes closed.

“No, stay.” He grumbled, wrapping his leg further around you and pulling you so close to him he was nearly smothering you.

“Buck…” You whined, trying to wiggle a little bit to get free of him, which you knew was pointless because of his extreme strength. “Let me up please.”

He groaned and flipped you over to where he was now laying on top of you completely. He kissed your neck softly before burying his head there once again. “Nope. Wanna hold you.”

It was kind of funny, really. The man who was constantly a scowling grouch, that never let people touch him, was now a soft teddy bear, refusing to let go of you. You weren’t surprised of course, but to anyone else it’d be a sight to see.

You couldn’t deny that you liked this right now, his heavy body on top of you felt almost like a weighted blanket. He was so warm too, even with the bit of cool metal against your skin. It would’ve been pure bliss if it wasn’t for the fact that your need to pee increased by the minute.

“Please? I promise I’ll be right back and we can cuddle for as long as you want.” You nearly begged, it becoming a little bit too hard to hold in.

He groaned and rolled over on to his back, freeing you from his grasp. Before you got up he planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Better keep that promise, doll.”

And of course you did, merely a couple minutes later, you crawled right back in to bed. You positioned yourself between his legs and laid your upper body on his torso, your head right in the center of his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around you once again and kissed the top of your head before resting his chin on it. He brought one hand to your hair and sweetly began to play with it. You just laid calmly, listening to the beat of his heart, before you both dozed off once again.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x avenger!reader #soft bucky barnes #cuddling #cuddles #fluff #drabble #soft!bucky #sweet bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n

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enhypia · 3 years

Text

HS ; couples

couples answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint really hard

words: roughly 1.4k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - heeseung speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and heeseung speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi! i'm (y/n)

hello, my name is heeseung!

and we're together

we're couples!

[you guys were invited here today as couples for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

we are

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

let's go, i can't wait to drink

so you won't be answering the questions?

i mean, it's free alcohol

*hee shakes his head in disbelief

[how long have you been together?]

we actually just had our 3rd anniversary last week

so 3 years now <33

[how did you two meet?]

pffft- *(y/n) laughs

can we just choose pass

shot!

*hee offers the shot glass to (y/n) and both take a shot, laughing after

we're drinking this early on damn

we met through a mutual friend

i was brought as a wingman

i think you can guess how it went

[but how did you guys become a couple?]

we got closer after meeting and i think it was obvious to the both of us that we were interested in each other

yeah but it still took a lot in me to ask you out

he stuttered the first time he asked me on a date

did i?

*(y/n) laughs at the memory

you went "hey, so uh you wa-"

*hee cuts (y/n) off by squishing their cheeks

we don't need a reminder

*(y/n) swats his hand away

but it was cute, don't worry

*(y/n) pats his head making heeseung smile

[okay, how about we officially start the game now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, (y/n) wins

*(y/n) reads the card and chuckles

[was it love at first sight?]

it wasn't

like i said, i was supposed to be a wingman so in my head, they were already off limits

i don't believe in love at first sight so *(y/n) shrugs

[do you have/did you have doubts with us being together?]

goddamn *(y/n) drinks

*heeseung is wide-eyed

no honey, not like that, i will answer, it's just that i need the alcohol boost

*the shock goes away

i was about to shed tears not gonna lie

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

when i agreed to becoming heeseung's significant others, i had no doubts, i knew what i felt was true and i knew his was too. the doubts were mainly on myself?? like "what if he just wakes and he doesn't love me anymore" but everyday heeseung proves to me that that will never happen

*(y/n) smiles at heeseung

*heeseung looks away trying to hide the smile and blush appearing on his face and he takes a shot refusing to meet (y/n)'s eyes

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[if i become a zombie and had to eat people to survive, would you stick by side?]

heeseung gets scared easily i don't think he will

but if it's you...

*(y/n) raises an eyebrow

wait let me think about this more clearly

see! *(y/n) laughs

*heeseung continues to think

omg just say no!

but it's you !!!

i know it's me but baby we both know you'll run the other way once i start to eat people

...... you still love me right?

yes heeseung, i still love you

*hee :D

okay! next question!

*he picks up a card and laughs

oh i like this one.

[would you date any of my friends?]

*(y/n)'s mouth drops in shock

*(y/n) ultimately decides to play with heeseung

i mean.. *(y/n) reaches for a shot

*the grin on his face disappears

yah!

*(y/n) bursts into giggles and takes a shot

yah~ !!

[would YOU date any of my friends?]

*hee's eyes narrows and takes a shot for revenge

*both laugh at their antics

the answer is no guys, i love his friends but they're pretty much like annoying siblings

sorry (y/n)'s friends, (y/n) is the only one for me

but i'm pretty sure someone who used to be in my circle would jump at the chance

really ?? who ??

*(y/n) gives the look

AH! -

*scene cuts as he says a name

moving on.

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[do you wish i offered to pay for more dates?]

MAN I WISH I COULD PAY MORE ON DATES

i like paying for our dates, but arguing with them is hard

yeah there was one time we spent 10 minutes bickering about who will pay, so we just made an agreement

we take turns per month, like for this month i'm the one paying for all the dates, then on the next month (y/n) will be paying

but everytime it's his month, he always tries to go out a lot, and when it's my month he opts to stay in

hehe

hEHE ??

*heeseung picks up a card and reads the question intently

*he is in deep thought

what is it?

[will you agree to an open relationship?]

ohhh

open relationship is when it's okay if you see other people right?

yup and i don't think i'd agree to it. you?

me as well

sorry im selfish, heeseung is mine, i do not share ;)

*heeseung laughs

yeah, sorry it's not for me, i don't think i can stomach seeing another one hold (y/n) , find your own

*(y/n) raises glasses to cheers and both take a shot

[it's okay not to drink if you answer]

yeah we know

but it's free alcohol

and drinking makes it more fun

*they hi-five

okay! next question,

[if i had to move away for many years, would you wait for me?]

yes.

wow no hesitations

yes i would wait for you

*(y/n) :O

yes

okay we get it

*they laugh

but i will, you're worth waiting for

your patience says otherwise

are you doubting my ability to wait?

do you hear yourself when you're playing?

that's with games, you're not a game, you're not something i play

*(y/n) blushes making heeseung laugh

shut up okay i get it

i also do not actually trust my patience

SEE ?!

*heeseung bursts out laughing

so instead of waiting i'd probably just go to them and/or visit them a lot

or just move in with me

*(y/n) avoids heeseung's stare

is this still related to the question or the present

huh? *(y/n) acts clueless

WAIT-

*camera cut

*we see both of them sporting a blush with big smiles on their face, and the alcohol evidently lessened

[freestyle! ask any question you want]

wah, i don't know what to ask

*he is thinking, everybody shut up

just keep it simple

no i want it to be hard

i can just actually follow the rules and drink instead of answering

*hee pouts

no you won't

*(y/n) :P

okay!

[did you like ... when we first met?]

oh the 'friend'?

yeah

*(y/n) drinks

*heeseung :O

*(y/n) xD

no heeseung, i did not like them, i really just saw them as a friend

ohh ouch sorry buddy

*they share a laugh

oh it's the last one

[question for both: what does loving each other feel like?]

awww that's a cute one, i'll go first

loving heeseung feels like the comfort your favorite songs bring you. it feels like the excitement you get whenever your favorite show releases a new episode. it's the deep sigh in content you release whenever you smell your favorite scent. it's just, loving him feels like everything your favorites make you feel.

*heeseung is not tearing up, definitely not, that's just sweat, he is also 100% not blushing, it's just hot

*he takes a shot and (y/n) laughs at his antics

now how am i supposed to beat that?!

let me be more romantic gosh

respectfully, no.

*both laugh

okay uhh, loving (y/n) feels like riding a rollercoaster. from all the emotions while waiting in line to exiting the ride. loving them is like the feeling of hitting a high note you previously couldn't. it's winning multiple prizes at the arcade. loving (y/n) is like the softness of a sunrise and the absolute wonder in staring at a night sky.

*(y/n) takes a shot not even bothering to hide their blush

why are we so cheesy and poetic when we're intoxicated damn

*heeseung laughs and agrees

forgive us if we're cringey

not our fault you're single

heeseung! :O

*he stays unapologetic

and that's it!

thank you for having us~

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: sorry this took so long, i caught up with everything i missed in my classes, i'll try to update the series more frequently. i will also be posting timestamps later since it's been days since i last posted. i hope you also like this one!! jay's will be posted next, please look forward to it <33

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #speak or shot #enhypen series #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen fluff #heeseung #enhypen x gender neutral reader #heeseung fluff #lee heeseung fluff #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung imagines #heeseung scenarios

246 notes · View notes

seiwas · 3 months

Note

thank you so much for the kind and helpful reply about waking up early/morning routines 🥹

i’ve been trying to use alarms the past few days, and it works HOWEVER most of the time (read: always 😔) im tempted to go back to sleep 😭 so i end up sleeping in later than i intended to (like YES!!! it is really a mental battle getting out of bed 😭) (taking notes and gonna try to move as soon as i wake up 📝 , hopefully my mind will also come to after 10 minutes 😔🤞🏻)

ALSO YES!!!! i understand your love for the soft morning light!! i also feel the same with the fresh morning breeze! especially that it gets pretty warm as noon approaches from where i live 🤧

thank you again for the advices; they’re very informative and helpful! 🥹 i think i’m getting a rough idea of what i want my morning routine to be. tho i would like to ask whether you have any tea recommendations and stuff that help with winding down before bed? (i think that’s the very root problem with my routine as i tend to stay up late to do stuff i didn’t get to finish the whole day because, well… i woke up late LMAO 😭 it’s a paradox!)

also omg i genuinely apologize if this is all too much to ask 😭 (you really don’t have to answer!) like i know i can find the answers just by searching, but i feel it’s best to ask someone who already has an established (and effective) routine (also where’s the fun in reading answers off online articles, right? 😔 LOL 😭)

thank you again for your kind answers! 🥹💐♥️ i really appreciate them!

- nonie who doesn’t, in fact, catch the worm (lol kidding!), morning nonie! 🌅

hi 🌅 nonie! you're very welcome!! 🥺

omg and i completely get you!! the alarms every 10 minutes 😭 i swear it's so tempting to sleep after that first alarm bec u think 'just for a bit' but just for bit becomes 2 HOURS 😭 i think being aware is key too!! the more you know that these things typically happen to you, the more you'll be able to remind yourself in the moment that you kNOW what's gonna happen if you go back to sleep 😭

as for tea recommendations! i drink spearmint tea before bed but that's more for hormonal balance and enjoyment—i'm not so sure if it does anything for sleep! i think chamomile and lavender might be good ones tho! other things you can do to wind down is avoid screentime 30 minutes before you want to sleep. it's also helped me to get into bed an hour before i want to sleep, then i turn off my lights and everything too!

and don't apologise at all!! i find it so sweet that you're asking me 🥹 i'm not an expert or anything but i'm glad that you find my personal experience helpful!!

update me on how it goes nonie!! feel free to drop by and ask anything anytime!! 💗

#nonie.🌅#ask #rep

0 notes

theramseyloft · 3 years

Text

7/30/21

Waiting for the call from UGA to get Khou.

Doing the most urgent loft work in the meantime.

Just finished mucking nest boxes.

The time has come to employ the loft's little tower fan.

As well insulated as it is, it's still a metal building and the AC unit just cannot complete.

Blowing at full strength, you can't feel it more than 6 in from the vent.

Good gawd, I started at 7:30am, and it is SO humid that in an hour of work, I'm dripping, and have developed the tell-tale muscle aches, nausea, and lip-tingling of heat exhaustion. Came in to cool back down after setting up the tower fan.

Patron: "A fan in the window would help"

"The easiest way to keep a space as cool as possible is to create a path of airflow"

Thank you

Ok!

Breakfast eaten, water get, time to resume!

I laid this fucking brick out to hose down yesterday...

The Fire Nation used it as scaffolding to build a nursery and fill it with larva that quickly.

This is why I have to be so aggressive about treating them, and why my loft help just turning the bricks and weight stones shit side down is so dangerous.

Patron: "Holy shit! Fire ants are insane."

Patron: "They are an aggressive species from the Amazon, of course they're aggressive and quick lol"

Patron: "Oh! They are not native to the US? I never knew that! I just remember learning very quickly when we moved to the south from Canada that they are mean little bastards"

They are not!

They are adapted to the river banks and survive the frequent flooding by clinging together in living rafts.

An individual can hold her breath up to 14 days, allowing the rafts to survive until they make landfall again.

They really love the American south because the high humidity keeps soil moist enough to build mounds in very quickly without the disruption of floods to cause breaks in reproduction.

Patron: "That explains so much"

They are able to remain in constant larva factory mode, and with all US populations only coming from a few accidentally imported queens, they are closely enough related not to see any other US fire ant colony as a rival.

So the entire US population of fire ants is a single massive supercolony with neither predators nor competition.

Patron: "That is super disturbing"

"But also very informative."

Yeah, they are monsters here that absolutely will hunt and eat you if they get the opportunity.

My husband and I used to have our bed against the wall.

The little bitches swarmed in by hundreds through a hole in the insulation one night in the second year we were married, infested the blankets, and woke us up by stinging us en mass.

Patron: "i cant imagine how fucking horrifying that was to wake up to"

I still have nightmares.

I can't fall asleep by laying there with my eyes closed.

You know how there are always after images when you close your eyes? Usually just meaningless, wandering patches of light and dark?

That's what the swarm on my skin looked like in the dark, and instead of just being patches of light and dark, my asshole brain highlights their segments, legs, and animates their attack behavior of clamp on with jaws, sting until prey stops moving, or ant is crushed or otherwise pried off.

I get the most ungody adrenaline spike if I'm not too physically exhausted to notice the visual.

It makes trying to fall asleep a real bitch for me.

Got an update call about Khou.

They don't have a specific time for him to get his CT scan done, beyond that it will happen today.

If it happens late enough in the day that he won't be fully recovered from sedation by the time they close, we'll have to wait until tomorrow to come get him.

Patron: "How far is it to Athens from where you are? You said you took him to UGA right?"

Two hour drive.

Patron: "Hang in there. Fingers crossed they can do it early today"

Thank you.

Neither I, nor my husband are really ok with out him.

The house feels wrong...

Had to come back in for the permethrine.

The fire nation is trying a different foraging approach into the loft and fuck no.

Threshold treated.

Komodore asked Patch to smooch-feed her

Farthing tread Luxie.

Then he crouched to be tread and she, then Alex, tread him.

I think I was wrong about Mote.

Wukong looks lighter than he is because of his chest fluff.

Close inspection of their wings shows Mote to have the same pattern as Wukong, obscured by the deeper Dirty pigmentation of babies under 4 months.

Arco has been doing the best job helping Passenger set her Fegg.

Leela is quite insistently crouching for Nobu, but her foob kinda over balances her when he's on top, causing her to stumble into a tilted run under him to keep from faceplanting.

He hangs on with the brazen tenacity of a bull rider, and has managed to finish three times today.

It is exactly as hilarious as it sounds, and I'll try to catch it on video, if I can.

Look at Arco on his practice egg <3

Patron: "a grown boy!"

Just got an update from UGA.

khou just finished his CT, but they close at 5pm, and he's unlikely to have recovered enough to be discharged in two hours, even if I left right now.

The projected discharge is between 9 and 10am.

His little heart stopped.

(Pretty much every Patron sent their condolences)

Cousins: "We're on the way, Dani, I'm sorry! 30-40 minutes i think ..."

Can't wait.

We can go say goodbye, if we leave now and fold space.

Husband: "The vets are trying one more time to get his heart to start back up. We are on the road now."

We got to UGA.

No word on if the last effort succeeded.

Waiting for his Dr to come see us.

Husband: "He didn't make it."

Husband: "He had lesions in his lungs. The sedation was too much for his damaged lungs to handle."

Patron: "im so sorry. is there any idea what the lesions are from?"

Husband: "Not yet. They have not gotten all the results back from his tests yet."

"The vet took a clay imprint of his feet with his name on it."

Patron: "sending all the love to both of you"

Husband: "Thank you. We both are recovering."

Thank you so much to all of my patrons for the outpouring of loving condolences.

87 notes · View notes

mrsackermanx · 2 years

Text

15: Massage man.

"Don't look at me like that."

Summary: Chapter 139/ Season 4 Part 2 Spoilers. There’s definitely something you and Levi are forgetting? But you’re more in tune than you’ve ever been.

Warnings: female oral receiving, male receiving, grinding, dubious consent (they’re slightly drunk), levi being cute as always <3

Wc: 6.4k

an: its literally been a month that i haven't updated fable ahh im so sorry angels🥺🥺, between assignments, annoying family visiting, holidays, writing block, illness blah blah, i haven't been able to! but ill do better, updates may still be fairly slow for the time being but ill try🥺<3 also i prefer 'reader' rn? Sorry! and also, i mostly always upload to ao3 first so subscribe to ao3 for 1-2 day early uploads! 🥺💕

Fable’s Masterlist

⋘ 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ⋙

"Levi!" You knock even harder on the door before just bursting in, the gathered steam clinging to your skin in muggy clouds. "My meeting! My meeting! Levi, I'm so nervous!"

He smiles to himself, "Reader, you're gonna be fine."

"I need to see your face, Levi! You're taking so long in there!" You sigh, gnawing on a hangnail, "Ah, just fuck it." You rip open the curtain to see him lazing against the tile wall, hanging onto the implanted shower rail with the water cascading down his body, his tight abdomen flecked in steamy droplet kisses.

You sigh in exaggeration, casting him a glare full of play. "Do you have to look so good right now, wait, I'll just join you-" He gulps, watching you eagerly shed yourself of your pyjamas, hopping in with him. "You didn't wake me up, I'm so late and nervous! I blame you!"

He shyly moves your hair from your eyes, clearing his throat and then pecking a sweet kiss to your lips, "Sorry...and calm down, hm?"

You smirk, reaching up to card your hands through his hair, "How will I do that? Any ideas."

He kisses you once more, devotedly. "You'll be fine." he hums, nose sweetly bopping yours before he pulls away.

"Thanks, I needed that." You smile to yourself, breathless as you nudge him out of the way to grab your sponge. "Now move over before I start a full-body tour on you." You wink, "Of kisses."

"Dirty woman."

He curses internally, watching your soap soaked sponge pass over your breasts, pebbled nipples springing. "I'm not using the shower or anything." he tersely mumbles, turning to face away from you as his dick rises, blood drumming in his ears.

"Well, I'm sorry, just move over!" God damn you, since the other night he can barely look at your face without his entire body igniting.

"And by the way, yes I am looking at your ass. The answer is always yes."

"Tsk."

Lucky for him you shower within minutes anyway, jumping out with an ass slap that makes him swat you. "Good luck!" he yells to you, dithering between the four walls of tile, they're judging him, he's sure. "Ah, now what do I do with this?" He huffs, knocking his head against the wall, as he fastens his palm to the base of himself. "I can't even look at you without this happening now Reader, you have no idea."

"Levi! Your scarf? The black one where is it? I wanna wear it!" You burst in, stopping when you hear a swallowed curse and a bitten back moan rumbling from beneath the curtain. "Are you okay? I just heard noises?"

"Yes, just fine, now stop interrupting my shower and go, you're stressing!"

"But Levi, I'm nervous!"

"It will be fine, " he speaks shakily.

"No, but I'm nervous!"

"He loves your work, right? And I would've opened the shop by the time you finish your meeting, so I'll be waiting for you," he calls out, so desperately praying you don't reach your hand out and tug the curtain open.

"Levi? Can you just look at me for a moment? You've been showering for ages anyway!"

No.

"You look at me all the time, and I'm not clean yet." The tip of his dick is so red it aches, weeping, skin so taut it's just pleading with him to grant it release. God damn it, fuck you.

"Vi!" You tug open the curtain, and cover your mouth, grinning at him, triumphant yet completely ignoring his hand awkwardly placed on himself, for his own stoic sake. "I just wanted a kiss, you dopey old man.

"Oh-"

"Oh? But you were taking care of your-" he leans forward, grabs both of your shoulders and thrusts his lips onto yours. Rendering you breathless with the first pull on your lower lip, his eyes shamelessly casting down into yours.

"Mm?" He pulls away, his cheeks flushing mauve, "Now leave, good luck you'll be fine, it'll look bad if you're late."

You take his hand to your lips and kiss his knuckles, with one sneaky hand reaching behind you to twist the cold tap loose. You cup the freezing water and frisbee it onto his body and hollers out your name like a curse, "Without me Levi!"

"Reader!"

"We're talking later, remember!" you chirp, making your way out.

"Yes! Stay safe for me!" You pause outside of the door, before running out like a giddy school girl, squealing to yourself. Utterly lovesick.

"I will my darling!"

He feels his cheeks rush so hot this time that he covers them out of instinct.

***

"So what do you think we should call it?"

"So, we're going ahead?" you whisper, almost like it's some kind of secret, eyeing the fellow customers, who are simply diving into their fresh bread and coffee with no clue of this. "You're going ahead with...me?"

"Reader dear, I was sold yesterday, this is more a briefing for what's to come, a name, the first chapter outline...that's what today's about, our meeting."

You have to stop your mouth from gaping open, eyes glimmering, "Ahh so...something kitschy right?" you offer with newfound confidence.

"Now we're talking, Finn and I spoke this morning about involving the words, titan and attack, something cool like that?"

"Mm." you mumble, pondering. "Attack mag?"

"Titan mag...Titans?"

"Yes! That's it! That's the one! Let's do that! Titans by Reader."

You seal the deal with a few more cups of tea and some newly imported French bread, and while you both hiccup and choke on the fluffiness of the bread you cannot even begin to pronounce. You think of him because you purely cannot help it now, when you are happy your brain envisions him. How he is clothed in delicate little intricacies, curved indents, wispy lines, those aloof slate eyes that beam at you with a certain kind of contained passion, soft pale skin, the crook of his smile, hair so thick and soft you could spend hours running your fingers through it, that face, your love. Your lover.

You sign your contract, the first binding clause being that you produce an official chapter in two weeks, and the deal is done.

You scurry up to the shop to Levi with your good news, beside yourself with merriment. Bouncing up the street to the loyal green of Ackerman's door, stacks of documents billowing in hand.

You're joyed to rush into tranquillity, only scattered groups of loyal regulars and quiet bookworms congregating and slumped over warm mugs of your lover's comfort. "How did it go?" the beautiful man stationed behind the till calls over, pearly skin shining in the gold of the morning.

You toothily wave the papers at him, running up into his arms, he sighs out in relief at your presence, happy to have you home again. Within the comfort of him, you hear the scattered whispers of his reading behind your back, as he eagerly swipes through the pages.

"That's my girl." he breathes, punctuating his fond drawlings with leading kisses to the groove of where your neck and shoulder oppose, reaching the joins of your jaw, mouthing nothing but praise into his affections. "I'm so proud of you, c'mere." He twirls you into him, assessing the crowd before dipping his lips down onto yours, strong arms hooked right under you, wrapping you tighter in his embrace and coiling you both together like the sweet cinnamon swirls in the display case.

The kiss is so impassioned, that you both forget about the contented customers, his hand seeking your thigh to ruck it over his waist instead, swallowing your gasps and pleas for him. His head rushes to turn, lips sucking yours up, taking them with his into a flushed kiss. "Fuck," he breathes out, before he brings you right back to the heaven of his mouth.

Just when he starts to feel like he's losing himself in you, he pulls away, checking for prying eyes, he gives you one more peck and a squeeze to your ass. "You are, so, exciting, like this," you pant, swiping his saliva from your lips.

"I knew you could do it, we'll celebrate. Me and you."

You smile from ear to ear, wrapping your arms around his waist as he starts the kettle. "Me and you. My favourite."

If Hange and Erwin could see us now.

***

You sway back and forth, face nuzzled into Levi as you turn and twist to the music crackling through the acoustics of a now star bathed, empty Ackerman's. Curtains half-drawn, you sway for a moment, drinking in the bottomless gratitude for one another, another day spent at one another's side, in your blissful peaceful life, cleaning done, prep for the day to come, done.

It's a shrill knock that takes you out of your shared daze, you grab the music, and Levi the door. But it's only Onyankopon and a beautiful woman, you immediately guess her to be Angela. She's just as he described, drop-dead gorgeous, Levi had said that she was kind when he'd met her, but you're oddly nervous.

"Hey guys, how are my favourite people in the world doing?"

You laugh, arm coiling through Levi's as you drape your coats on, "Missing you of course, and hey, Angela right?"

"Yes, nice to meet you! Levi told me a little about you when I met him! But ah! You're just as beautiful as he'd described." She opens her arms for you, welcoming you into a hug and you immediately take it, dear god she smells amazing, soft braids brushing your neck.

"He said that?" you whisper, winking cheekily at Onyankopon over her back.

"In a few words or less, he's smitten we think, Pon never shuts up about it anyway."

You both giggle.

"Well! Once Reader has stopped flirting with my girlfriend, why don't we all go for a drink?"

"Medley?" Levi smiles, wrapping his arm around the small of your back as you all start to venture out.

You all cheer, "Lotti's with our neighbours though, so not too long."

"Definitely," Levi coos, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Let's go!" Onyankopon cheers, lighting a cigarette. He passes them casually out to you all as you walk, shuddering in the cold wind of November, you all suck on the carefully crafted rolls of herb and tobacco.

***

"Shall we get them drunker than that?" Angela hisses, laughing into Onyankopon's ear. They both watch on at you both, you're cosied by the bonfire and sat upon Levi's lap, hands locked, fingers smoothing and tapping. It makes Onyankopon's eyes blur, it's almost like there's a mirror nudged between you two, your movements so in sync they're making his teeth ache.

He shakes his head though, "Just bring out our secret weapon, and we'll say goodbye."

"Wait? Why do you wanna leave?" she asks, tugging on his collar.

"Hopefully for the same reason they might want to, I have a beautiful woman to take to bed," he whispers smoothly, cupping her knee with a wandering hand.

She gasps, head falling onto his shoulder, "Winter makes you men so romantic huh?"

"Oh, indeed my love, I'm gonna-"

"Are you two planning their wedding?" Tom yells over the crowd pointing at you and Levi, they break into laughter, pulling up a stool beside the bar.

"We definitely will." Onyankopon laughs, waving at Mina, "Hey! They look sweet don't they?"

"Oh hell yeah, it's making me sick, I wish Tom still looked at me like that." Mina jostles, fighting the fond headlock of her partner that proceeds.

"Oh yeah?"

You and Levi are drunk on happiness and only a few sips of congratulatory beer from Onyankopon and Angela tonight. The newspaper deal was a success, but it's almost as if you're both forgetting something. Right?

"Let's go home, Vi."

"Yeah, let's go home," he whispers, eyes burning into yours, crackling flames reflected against irises, glassy with an intoxicating blend of a metallic powder blue.

You feel hands on your shoulders and crane your heads to Angela and Onyankopon, "We're leaving now, you guys staying?"

"Us too." Levi grabs your hand, steering you to the exit through the rowdy drunken crowds. When you all reach the exit, clouds of cold exhalation chattering past your teeth, Angela and Onyankopon grin with excitement, ready to unfurl their master plan.

"So Reader, you know how I'm a beautician, right? I brought this for you..." Onyankopon laughs into his sleeve, playing it off with a scuff to his nose and an earnest puff of his cigarette, when Levi cocks a suspicious yet innocent brow up at him.

"Tonight Vi, you both know what you want right?" he hisses, offering him a friendly nudge while Levi sighs. "Yes, my darling?"

"This stuff is good right?" Angela calls over, Levi refuses to admit that his eyesight is probably growing weaker with time because he's squinting at the tiny bottle shimmering in your hand.

"It's really good!" Onyankopon all too squeakily grins back.

"See! So make good use of this, kay?" she whispers, Levi overhears and gazes at you in question, but you too shrug your shoulders, also unsure.

"Do you rinse that off in the shower or what then?" Levi asks.

Onyankopon is fighting back laughter, while Angela shoves him as discreetly as she can, her own smirk threatening to peek through. "But you'll be showering anyway right? After using that?"

"Eh?..."

You can see Levi wants to ask but doesn't want you both to sound stupid, so you do. "So, it's like a beauty treatment?"

"Well...It's kind of like a personal spa treatment, and it can be used...anywhere." She winks and you and Levi dither even further.

"In our hair? Does it smell good? Levi, what did Anita give us before?"

"Amla oil?"

"Yeah, it worked wonders didn't it?"

"You got it everywhere though, the sink was-"

"Are they doing this on purpose?" she mutters to Onyankopon.

"I wish." He sighs back, "Well night you two we're going this way. Have a nice night!"

"Night." you and Levi chorus back. "Be safe!"

You grin watching them both disappear into the distance, "One more?"

"No more than a pint." His hand coils through yours when he spots your favourite seats are free. "You need to tell me your ideas."

***

You and Levi aren't drunk. But you're tipsy, and running hot, his husky breath on your neck feels like torture, sweet torture as you squint your eyes out to make Lotti out in the darkness of the garden. He's too close.

"Lotti come on! How long does it take for ya to piss!" you cackle, you feel Levi's eyes on you and you turn to face him, moaning softly when he brings his lips to yours in an instant. He kisses you with unwavering appreciation, thumbs settled just under your eyes as he pushes you up against the door. He's so needy tonight. "Oh, sweetheart. Don't start what you can't finish."

"Maybe we'll both finish tonight."

You swallow, shifting his bangs away from his eyes. "Fuck."

"Mm, how many beers did we have?" he asks, pulling away with a smirk.

"Don't remember." you giggle, shooing Lotti back in and pointing her to the direction of her bed, "Let's give her a kiss and go to bed?"

You lower to her bed, giving her strokes while Levi spoils her with zealous belly rubs, hoisting you up onto his back shortly after. "Bed you said?"

"Oh yeah because I'm so ready to sleep, yes!" you chuckle, working the back of his shirt up to kiss, before your eager hands reach his waistband and tug, exposing his bare cheeks.

"What are you doing?" He shuts the door with his foot, dropping you down onto the bed and holding himself just above you, "I keep telling you, I won't keep letting you off just cause you're pretty."

"You think I'm pretty?"

He smirks against your lips, "Don't you start." You pout, and he chuckles this time, "You're fucking gorgeous..." You sigh softly, planting his face in messy kisses with hums of pure contentment. "My sweetheart...The prettiest."

"No you-Wait, ow-" You lean up, tugging out the small bottle lodged into your pant pocket. "Angela's gift." You lift it to your eyes, "I can't really read this right now, I've forgotten what those fucking letters mean."

Levi grabs it and chuckles back, "I don't know what this is either, they could always just write like we do, but-" He eyes it closer, "Body oil? Give me your shoulders." He taps your shoulder, gesturing for you to move but you only laugh under him.

"Well, I can't physically give you them."

"Sit up." he softly commands. Your core throbs. So you do, locking your arms around his neck, both of you collapsing back against the pillows with a light thud. "You'll have to take this off." he whispers silkily in your ear, his hands on the hem, chuckling before clearing his throat. "I also need you to be professional, lie against me." You snort but obey, biting back a groan when he keeps your legs spread apart with his, keeping them there with effortless strength.

He continues to toy with the end of your shirt, "Take it off for me, please." you whine, so he does, carefully pulling it up over your head.

He swallows in your ear, "No bra today?"

You laugh, leaning back to press a fond kiss to his cheek, "Well I hardly knew I'd be giving you my shoulders, mister."

"Levi. Military massage man." he chuckles, pecking a kiss to your ear.

"I don't think they're called massage men Levi." You mush your teeth into your bottom lip, as his hands smooth across your inner thighs, clutching and pawing the skin, watching it snap back mesmerised.

"Well, tonight I'm your massage man."

"That sounds kind of dirty."

"I think that's just your mind."

You toss your head back, watching him take the bottle, lathering his hands in the clear, gloopy oil, his skin glistening with it. "I'm gonna start right here." You gasp feeling the warmth of his hands cup your breasts, his fingers drawing slow circles out on your nipples, rubbing away the tension slotted under your armpits. When you quietly moan out, kicking your pants down, he follows your lead helping you tug them down your legs.

"You're beautiful, y'know that?" he hums, smiling as your thighs sway and tense in a hazy attempt to ground yourself, but you're flailing. His palms continue to knead in circles, mapping you out with his hands. "Such pretty skin."

Not like his, not full of so many marks, god he wants to kiss you all over.

"You are," you pant, pulling his hand down to kiss, "Levi, I can't believe that you're all mine."

'Fuck' he mouthes to himself, letting his hands slip toward your waistband, your panties slicking hot and damp between your folds.

"Me and you," he stops just to curse, watching your hips buck up, your panties gleaming in the light, how are you this soaked? "Tell me what you want?" he whispers, jaw gritted at the sight. "I'll do it, anything you want."

"All I ever want you to do is touch me, your hands, your lips, just you Levi." The heat of the oil has you burning up, as in tandem his hands move to comply with your request.

"I got you." he murmurs, pressing soft wet kisses to your nape.

His touch worshipping you until his fingers find themselves coasting past that dammed waistband. You continue to babble for him, thighs shaking, "I need you Levi, just you, please!" Because his hands are everywhere and yet nowhere all at once.

"Fuck-I'm so sor-" You moan, he stops.

"Levi!" You clutch onto his wrist for dear life, keeping his middle finger pressed on your aching clit. "Fucking hell."

"Reader?" Face scrunched, you move to grip his thighs under you, gasping as he starts to smooth hesitant circles on your pussy, your wet folds like silk against his fingers. "Shall I stop?"

You whine, voice barely a rasp, "What do you think?"

"No," he manages to stammer out, tugging down your panties with a shaky hand. "I think you wanna come, don't you sweetheart?" Your eyes lull back, his lips pressed right against your ear.

"I wanna come for you Levi,"

"Anything you want, and knowing you, you'll look real fucking pretty doing it. Here, if you wanna come." You tilt your head, moaning into his lips with shaky lazy sucks, a single finger flicking back and forth against your clit. Keeping you tethered to him with his tongue lining your mouth and a hand gripping your waist to keep you rolled up into his hand's ministrations. "Shall I take your panties off? Would you like that? Or do you wanna ruin your panties again?"

"Oh my god, Vi, keep talking like that, fucking yes tear them apart. Get them off."

"Yeah? Ohh..." His breath is so heavy and laboured against your neck, that you're sure you've forgotten your own name. In fact you only remember it because it rolls off his sweet tongue. "It's pretty Reader." he groans into your ear, fingers parting you, watching gossamers of your slick web right down to his knuckles. "I've always wanted to tell you that, and I've always wanted to taste it."

"Oh my god Levi! I'm so wet and it's for you, all for you. I wanna come so bad."

"I know you do sweetheart, you know why? Because you're so excited down here, all this mess," he coos, cupping your pussy, only a single smoothing finger rubbing you just right. "Aren't you? All that throbbing, you poor thing."

"Please Levi, I need something inside, please don't tease me. I need you so bad I can not, just need you, just need you." You lean back just to kiss him, eyes flickered shut, lips parted. You look too good, so good that he turns you instead and you're so dazed that you just let him position you to his liking.

Propping you upon his thigh, he smooths your hair out of your eyes, "My pretty miss, hm?" He ducks forward, teeth teasing your upper earlobe, breath in your ear as he gently eases in a finger, chuckling at the relived gasp you emit, "Is it okay to get it inside you?"

You laugh, leaning over to grab the bottle with clearer eyes, "Oh my god, Levi. Wait? They write so small here, it's called...pleasure lubricant oil, this is what it's for, this was on purpose." He smiles, tilting your chin up with a gentle tap of his finger.

"Of course it was, but I'm still going to keep making you feel good, okay?"

You laugh, but then nod leaning back and spreading your thighs wider for him, he has to take a breath. This time he splays his hand just above your dripping sex, while his pointer finger slowly sinks in and out of you. Words drift away, and he lets his breathing hitch, noticeably so, both of your eyes casting down to between your thighs and back up again in this wordless intensity. Your hands stay locked around his neck, eyes love laced, sounds synced.

Every time he hooks his finger up, or his thumb presses over your clit a desperate moan escapes your throat and he finds himself mimicking it in a deep grunt. You whimper, he groans. You moan, he grunts. You exhale, he inhales.

He's slow and explorative, watching the way your pussy swallows him up, the way your lips pucker and dribble around him too.

He grabs your face in one hand, thumb drawing down your lip as he presses his wet lips to your forehead. "How about you take another?" he whispers lowly, eyes hungrily casting over your sticky thighs, his included. You nod dutifully, working a hand to your pussy just to spread yourself, he tuts at this, slipping another into you and smiling when he feels no resistance, your walls melting around him like hot butter.

"Your hearts racing," He pumps in faster, his free hand stroking your breast now, alternating pressure just to feel your heart beat for him. While the sloppy lapping sounds of your cunt accompany and fuel his arousal, warming his own heart even further. "Fuck." he swallows, "You're perfect."

"Levi, the way you touch me...all I can do is breathe and brace myself,"

"Mm? Keep breathing then sweetheart, let's make you come."

"Ah fuck, you're so dirty when you wanna be."

Every time he talks you clench on his fingers, and he praises you, pressing a kiss to your lips, letting you moan right into a smirk. "Do you know how much I want you?" he asks, hastening his movements, lip curling as you struggle to answer, "Do you, Reader? Answer love."

"Tell me."

"C'mere." He rises above you, plopping you down onto your back, he takes both of your hands above your head, gathering your wrists like a bunch of fresh roses. Pressing slow and hot wet kisses all over your neck, turning your brain into utter mush, he claims you with his attentive pleasure. "All I wanna do is make you feel how much I want you, I just want to make you feel good, my sweet sweet love, I've got you." he pants.

"I'll give you control, take it all. My body,"

He captures your chin between two dainty fingers, tapping lightly, "You can always trust me, okay?" he tells you, tenderly kissing your lips. "You can trust me to treat you.. the way you should be treated. Pleasure, just pleasure for you tonight."

"I'll give it all to you. Myself, me, my body you can have me." you pant, almost shrieking as he curls his fingers up, hitting them up against that throbbing spot with every angled jerk. "Yours, Levi, promise."

"Then finish on my fingers, my pretty sweetheart." The last stroke of his motions and then his words have your eyes clamping shut and your entire body washing with sensations you've never felt. It's like fire, yet it's like a violent snowstorm, or like heavy rain battering against a metal roof. It hits you so hard that all you can do is cling to him, cling to the man you're so in love with, that you're beside yourself by a simple touch, moaning out just for him. "You're mine." Eyes lidded he drags you up to rest on his chest as you pant into his ear, groaning as he toys with your arousal.

"All yours Vi." He slips his hand free from under your torso, eyes warm and soft as they regard you with curious bats of lash. He hums to himself, smearing your slick across your lips, and then grabbing your cheeks, licking careful outlines around your cupid's bow and your mouth's corners before he kisses your taste into either of your mouths."Sweet all over. I'm a lucky man," he rasps, admiring your swollen lips when he finally pulls away.

"Fuck Vi, filthy. I know you're sweet too." You weakly reach for his waistband, plucking it forward, you grab the bottle and squeeze some of the contents onto his cock. "Let me, Levi, please." His brows knit, eyes clamping shut as you somehow work his shirt off and then his pants and boxers all at once. "Let's feel each other-"

His eyes flash open and he grabs your face, "No not yet, let's save that, please."

You giggle lightly, thrusting your hand over his mouth, to your surprise he doesn't fight you, "I know, but Levi, my love, you stress too much, just breathe. Got it? We don't have to go all the way, and we won't, do you trust me?"

He instantly relaxes, he does trust you, more than anyone ever.

He nods through your hand, face flushed and relaxed, eyes glimmering and curious, you position your hips just over his, slotting a loose hand over his shaft. He jolts, breath leaving his nose in little puffs against your closed palm. You bring your hand down and back up again, watching his eyes roll and flutter until you know that under your hand, his mouth is gaping wide open. You carefully pull aside the pillows keeping him propped up, palms flattening against his chest you grind yourself onto his cock, your pussy rubbing over the thick veins beating through the top of it.

He splutters, rising his forehead just to knock it off yours, "Baby, fuck." he stutters beneath your hand. "You're doing this to me huh?"

"Focus, okay? On how I feel against you, how our bodies feel." He's obedient, small groans trapped beneath your palm, noses pressed up against the others, "You feel my body doing the work, Levi?"

"Oh I feel it, you're good...so good..Beautiful." he moans dazedly and you grin, prying your hand away from his lips just to kiss him. He lurches forward to shower your throat in desperate sucks. "I'll finish," he whispers against you, voice wobbling, "So be careful, please." He holds your waist, manoeuvring himself up he grabs the oil, pouring it onto your ass.

He works purposely to weaken your hip sways on his dick, because with every jerk of your hips more cloudy coloured cum coats his stomach, spilling down the ripples. "I'm close, please Reader, be fair."

"You just feel so fucking good.'"

"I know, you do," he pants, his hand slipping to your cunt, until he's working you open, the cool air of the room blowing onto your folds. His fingers work their way far inside, thumb stretching forth just to make you feel all he can at once. "I like this." he pants, "I need you, kiss?" You kiss him with no restraint, moaning into each other as your hips rise and buck against the others until his finger slips and you're shaking.

You feel an added sensation so overwhelming that you squeal into his chest before collapsing into him with a defeated whine. He looks down and gasps, his finger has slid into your ass, the tight muscle clenching right around him. "Shall I move it?" he asks cautiously, his cock growing even harder at the sight. "Does it...hurt?"

"Fuck no, it feels good." you shiver. "Push it in further."

"Oh? Got it." he stammers, hastening his movements inside your pussy, breath stuttering in his chest as your cunt seeps down his fingers. He finds a rhythm, pressing against his other fingers just the other side of you and you're howling, breaking in two from the dual stimulation.

"Oh fuck." Your thighs start to violently shake and he pulses the finger slid in the tightness of you, making you sob out so loudly that he's surprised he hasn't come all over himself at such a beautifully lewd sight.

"It's so easy, right? Fuck, just a little more, you're almost there baby."

"Yeah, I'm gonna lose it," You nod frantically as he speaks you through it, grinning almost darkly at the sight of you so broken on him, from him, from his pleasure. Two hands working to bring you to a shattering climax. Studying you as your body wracks with large tremors, your cum beading down his palm, your ass clenching his finger so tight you force it out. You rack your fists off his chest, moaning so loud that you can hardly hear yourself. "Levi, Levi, oh my god-hell I can't!"

He laughs sweetly in your ear, holding you against him with comforting kisses and wide rubs to your back as he leaves you to twitch against his bare thigh, "You liked that?"

"Fucking course I did." He laughs once more, but he's soon pliant as you use a single finger to run up and down his cock, sucking rosy kiss marks all over his collarbones as you do. "I'm still so wet Vi, why don't you feel me?"

"Fuck," He flips you over, taking your face in one hand, his other rubbing himself over your soaked cunt.

"I like feeling you," You whimper, "fuck harder, rub yourself on me, Vi, use me to come."

Oh fuck. "Yeah? D'you know how good you feel? You want me to come for you too huh?"

"I want you to come wherever you want, can you feel me getting all wet again?" He groans, how do you manage to be so sexy? "It's because I know you're gonna come for me."

"Only you!" He moans with abandon watching you massage your breasts, the oil glossing your skin in this golden light, is holy. "You're gonna drive me crazy tonight. Do you know how beautiful you are? I love looking at you. I-I get to look at you every day, I-" He babbles as you continue to raise your hips up for him, his tip beating on your clit, you shake and tremble with him as he comes, feeling his arousal slide down your folds in pools of his taste.

You help even, watching his eyes roll back above you, both of his hands beside your head you stroke his tip, only more and more of his cum leaking out. He worships your name, little grunts of pleasure filling the room until he's liberally cursing. "I'm so sorry...so fast, fuck." He pulls away, hand clamped over his mouth he shuts his eyes a second. When he opens them, eyes scanning your cum coated folds, he can hardly take it, he lowers himself, spreading your thighs as he ogles you. His chest still heaving so much he can hardly speak, "I'm gonna clean you up my love, don't worry."

"Vi! What?" You thread your hands through his hair, releasing a low moan as he sinks two of his fingers into you, "Oh my what are you doing to me-" His tongue meshes to your clit and then he's mindlessly moaning out to you, following each of your sounds with the gift of his as he tastes you.

He spreads you wide, sliding his tongue into you while his upper lip purses over your clit, kissing and sucking on your pussy until you're weak, a mixture of your tastes swirling in his mouth. "Your legs, they're shaking." he groans, fingers exploring you while he presses kisses to your thigh, his gaze full of devotion. "You okay?"

You hum in reply, head tossed back against your pillow, you're nearing closer so he licks even faster wading his tongue up and down through your folds, splashing your slick all over his cheeks. He threads a hand up to yours as you come, thumbing your ring and relishing in the cracked whines that leave your throat. You're so sensitive.

He slows down, broken cracks of laughter leaving your throat from the aftershocks, he joins you, rising to swipe the sweat-soaked hair from your forehead. "Got rid of it."

"Filthy, " you pant. "Did the lube taste funny?"

"Not really, just tasted like you, and that's all I wanted." You keen into him, his warm breath fanning your chin as he pecks your lips, until he swipes his tongue across your lower lip, seeking your attention. "Kiss me more."

You sneak a hand onto his shaft, reawakening his cock it hardens upon your touch, "You sound so sexy when you moan like that, Vi. All I've ever wanted is more of you, just like this." You wrap your arm around his neck to hold him close and he whimpers into your shoulder, nodding wordlessly in reply. Little 'mm's' of agreement making your heart flutter.

"I can't come again...please." he pleads, hands kneading your hips, "Let's go wash all of this off."

"Levi-ii!"

He smooths his saliva across your lips with his thumb, and you take it in your mouth, sucking on it with complete and utter adoration swelling in your pupils. He groans, his brow tugging upwards at its arch. "Don't you dare. We're having a bath." He swallows, "Just a...bath."

***

He managed to coax you with honeyed neck kisses, so you're lazed against him in the steamy water, one of his hands gripping your breast, the other lazily rubbing on your clit. Your face contorts for what feels like the seventh time tonight, as you memorise how good his hands feel on your body. You sigh out, hooking your arm around his neck, as he ruts needily against your ass, helping you take in his fingers as he pushes them in you deeply. "Vi, my love please let me taste you, why can't I?"

He gently turns your head, merging his lips with yours, "I'll embarrass myself," he pants, "I just know it, okay?" kissing you even harder just to distract you. "You're gonna come one last time, and then we're going to bed, got that?"

"Mm, yes."

It's no shock to Levi when he has to leave you in the bath an extra five as he slots his prosthetic on. Checking on you every minute or so, he returns to your side, crouched beside the bath. You're really something of an angel, a sheet of bubbles over your skin, your soft gleaming skin. "Reader," he whispers, leaning to place his palm upon your cheek.

"Hello, I fell asleep?" He nods fondly, standing to take you in his arms, a fresh towel folded over his shoulder. You stretch up, letting him take you to the bedroom of which he lays you down in gently, standing between your legs he grabs the lotion.

"Don't look at me like that." he hisses, rubbing it over your thighs, "I swear,"

You grin, leaning back on your elbows you smooth your hand along his thigh to his boxers. Through the loose hem you reach his tip before he's chuckling and falling down beside you, lips catching yours in a soft reprimand. "If we both had your restraint you'd be pregnant."

"Oi!"

"It's true isn't it?"

You sigh but laugh, "Yes, probably." He stands again, grabbing one of your nightshirts he sits you up and buttons it across your breasts, leaving the rest to hang comfortably and free. "Maybe."

He opens the duvet to you, hooking off his prosthetic with his arm outstretched, "Time to sleep, you look tired love."

"A certain someone wore me out." You giggle, crashing down beside him and exhaling into his warm bicep.

"You just look so cute when you come," he whispers.

"Levi!" You jut your wrist into his rib, and he chuckles, pressing a doting kiss to your temple. "You have the worst verbal restraint."

"Untrue, but I suppose you know your physical restraint is the worst then?" He bites down on his lip, feeling your pussy throbbing on his thigh. He grabs your chin, a single finger drawing you up to gaze at him, "If I had bad verbal restraint, I'd tell you that you can get off on my thigh because I can feel that you want to."

"Oh my god, Levi," you giggle, sighing into his chest, you start to sway your hips, catching your clit against the smoothness of his thigh. "Help me then,"

"No restraint." he teases, a hand on your waist dragging you toward and back just right. You wander your hand down his shorts and 'tsk'.

"You're hard."

"Well of course I am."

"Can I help?"

He eyes you wearily, "Hand only."

"Ugh! Plea-"

"No."

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction

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