#after having one serious sustained romantic interest that was like nothing i ever had before

[britneyshakespeare]

The funniest diary entry I wrote as a freshman in high school was shortly after my friend from health class broke up with her boyfriend of like a year (so a very serious relationship for being that age), she was talking one day at lunch about how she wants to get a new boyfriend.

And she and our other friend were like "Well, who's cute?" And us all having been in the same health class (which had just ended, thos was early in the second semester) they brought up the name of this sophomore I sat next to. And he and I had a kind of... teenage social anxiety romance. We both clearly thought each other to be cute because we'd chat and smile and giggle while saying absolutely nothing, but we were so shy. But anyway since I had never had a boyfriend or felt I'd experienced even a mutual crush before, this was a very big deal to me.

But they brought him up first of ALL names, and I felt VIOLATED. My turf was being walked on. She didn't know I liked him I'm sure. But the two most iconic sentences from this day in my diary are:

"But damn. I thought I was actually almost sort of close to having a chance with him maybe. Damn."

"Come on, Hannah, I mean... you just had a boyfriend."

#tales from diana #i think i posted the 'you just had a boyfriend' thing before. i read it maybe a year ago & realized how funny it was #kaily and i quote it all the time #mom says it's my turn to have the boyfriend #like she's fuckin cuttin in line for seconds at the boyfriend buffet #and it's like some of us haven't even sat down yet!!! you pig!!! #save some cute boy for me! #selfish of her #but also that first sentence is hilarious for all the qualifiers in it. it's more qualifier than sentence. #i thought. almost sort of close to. a CHANCE. maybe. #i couldn't write that now as a comedic line of dialogue. that was how low my self worth was. this is what #i thought to be the odds of someone liking me. #COME ON HANNAH #neither of us dated him that's ok #i know he was afraid of girls he probably didn't have a girlfriend the rest of the school year #but i fell out of contact w him bc he was a grade above me #i actually did have another class w him two years later. and that crush did NOT revive. #i was in that long period of wondering why i didn't like anyone anymore #after having one serious sustained romantic interest that was like nothing i ever had before #and then by my senior year i realized i was (gray-)aromantic. i was like oooooooh #fuck. i don't wanna be that. #but now it's ok bc im hot and cool. happy ending yay

[saintobio]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

remember, forever. (4)

↳ kageyama tobio x f!reader

description: in which the boy you’ve loved for years unexpectedly becomes your baby daddy. the catch? he’s in love with someone else.

genre: angst, cheating, unrequited love

warnings: mentions of abortion

a/n: i’d love to hear from you guys! pls feel free to message or leave an ask or anything really <3

previous

“Never in my life did I expect Kageyama to act like such a bastard!” Jina exclaimed as the two of you hung out at a cafe on a Wednesday afternoon. “I don’t understand why you like him.”

It was only 2pm and the weather was pretty gloomy, yet you found comfort in it. You found peace through the dullness of the weather as if it resonated with your feelings.

“I mean, he’s in a tough situation so I get why he’s gonna try and pretend like nothing ever happened.”

Your bestfriend sighed as she watched you take a sip of coffee before focusing back on your laptop screen. “You need to stop defending Kags. He’s wrong for this. He’s the cheater.”

You weren’t exactly defending him. You were just stating the reason why Kageyama was acting that way. Holding his girlfriend’s hand in front of you just seemed natural for him to do.

After the conversation you had with Oikawa the other night, you were able to gradually arrange your thoughts together. You were starting to think clear and make your own decisions, for your sake. For everyone’s sake. Even if he was shocked by your sudden decision, he respected it.

“I really just wanna stay out of the drama,” you spoke, earnestly. “I don’t plan to tell him either way. I guess that’s for the best.”

Jina looked at you in sympathy. “So, you’re gonna push through?”

You nodded, as much as it hurt you. “I have to. I don’t wanna be a single mother. If abortion is the solution, then so be it.”

Were you being heartless? Maybe. You understood that it wasn’t the baby’s fault, but you couldn’t exactly give your baby the life it deserved. You didn’t want the baby to grow up and be bullied for being an illegitimate child. You didn’t want your baby to be fatherless.

“Look, I’m not stopping you. At the end of the day, it’s your decision.. But I don’t want you to have regrets.” Jina took your hand and held it tight. “Do what feels right. I’m always, always here for you.”

———————————————————————

Despite winning today’s game, Kageyama wasn’t exactly in the best mood. Ushijima sustained an injury on his right leg and it was crucial because his presence on the team made up for a decent percentage of their wins.

On top of that, Kageyama made a couple of errors during the game and he was a little too hard on himself because of it.

Maybe all of these happened because he’d been thinking too much about you.

Not romantically, but in some other way. He just couldn’t describe it.

He really thought you were going to tell his girlfriend about that night and he was anticipating it, but was surprised at how you handled it so well.

In the first place, he didn’t even know what led him to cheat.

He convinced himself that there was nothing really interesting about you and he already had such an amazing girl by his side, so why did he even take the stupid risk of cheating on her with you?

He didn’t really have an answer to it. Maybe you just looked extra beautiful that night. Maybe he just missed you. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe he was simply a terrible person. His head was full of maybe’s that it started to piss him off.

It didn’t mean anything. It was just sex, no strings attached. It was a one-time thing.

But the guilt was eating him alive because he knew that you were once in love with him and he didn’t mean to hurt you so carelessly. Heck, he didn’t mean to hurt you at all.

“Why so serious?” He felt his girlfriend embrace him from behind.

“It’s nothing,” he merely replied, pulling her to his side before planting a kiss on her temple. “I have something to ask you..”

She looked at him curiously. “Hm?”

What would you do if you found out that I cheated on you?

He wanted to ask.

Tobio, you fucking idiot. Kageyama realized how stupid it was to even ask. “Nevermind. Forget it.”

———————————————————————

You didn’t expect that the whole abortion process would sound so scary. You also didn’t expect that you would have to chat with a counselor prior to the operation either.

For the past hour, all that you’ve done in front of your doctor was to answer some questions for them to make sure that you were 100% making this decision by yourself and that you weren’t being pressured by anyone. They did reassure you that everything was kept confidential and that you didn’t need to worry about anything. Then you had to sign some papers and consent forms—it was a strange process.

For the past nights, it was all you could think about and you had been so sure. You didn’t want to be pregnant at this age and in this situation—you had kept this in mind.

But you could tell that the doctor could see through you as she asked, “Has the father of the child agreed to this, too?”

You had no answers to give. Simply. He didn’t even have any idea. “Not really.”

Pretty sure the doctor has had many patients dealing with the same case of unwanted pregnancies before, but there was a certain look of hope in her eyes that you would maybe change your mind.

After a minute of writing down her assessment of you, she spoke again. “Alright, then. An appointment will be set for you this Saturday morning. Would that be a good time?”

You nodded.

“Great. Now we’ll have to put you into medication prior to the surgery and...” she continued blabbing about your to-do list before the appointment.

For some strange reason, you felt a familiar pang on your chest. It wasn’t hard to think that the baby must have known that their mother was going to get rid of them.

I’m sorry, you thought silently, extending the apology to the tiny human inside you.

The doctor cleared her throat after noticing how deep in thought you were.

“We also need you to take an ultrasound scan so we can see how far you are. Do you think you’re ready right now?”

You would have said no and left the hospital at that instant. You hated the idea of seeing the life you would soon kill.

Yet, before you knew it, you had already agreed and the doctor was now placing a generous amount of cold gel on your belly.

In after a few minutes, you saw a figure of a small fetus from the machine and you were in complete awe.

Such a tiny being. This adorable little bean was, in fact, real and you almost didn’t believe it. You couldn’t grasp the thought of a baby inside you. This was a baby you created with Tobio, whether it was planned or not, it had yours and his genes together.

After all, weren’t you just like this baby, too? Weren’t you an illegitimate daughter? Even when your mom completely abandoned you to your father, she at least spared your life.

Crazy how history repeats itself. Just like the mother you never met, she was your father’s mistress. She wasn’t strong enough to be a mother to you and left you at the hands of your father who already had a whole family for himself.

Still, the real family treated you well. Your stepmom had always been nice and your step-siblings treated you like a true sister, but somehow you just felt out-of-place. You felt like you didn’t deserve to sit with their family during Thanksgiving. You felt like your presence wasn’t needed in their life.

That was why you chose to return to Japan while they lived abroad. You were fine by yourself.

And maybe, you’d be fine raising this baby on your own, too. Maybe abortion wasn’t the solution. You could be speaking out of guilt right now, but you realized that the baby deserved to live like you did, too.

No, you reminded yourself. No turning back. Don’t let your weak emotions ruin what you’ve planned. The baby has to go.

“Can I...” You felt tears suddenly stream down your face. “Can I have a copy of the ultrasound scan, please?”

At least, you had a piece of memory to hold on to.

———————————————————————

At that point, you didn’t know if it was a coincidence or it was fate bringing you two together because the moment you went out of your Gynecologist’s room, you saw Kageyama passing by.

You slightly pinched yourself to prove that you weren’t dreaming.

He was just as shocked to see you in there.

“Wh-Why are you here?” you asked.

He gestured to the hallway, “I had to check on Ushiwaka—”

“Oh, the injury?” Your voice sounded more nervous than intended.

He nodded. “Yeah, it was just a bad sprain. Why are you here?”

You instinctively hid the scans behind you as you saw him glance at the Gynecologist’s room and back to you.

Kageyama wasn’t stupid. In fact, he was smart and very observant and was most of the time aware of his surroundings. He had excellent analytical skills and could sometimes read through other people’s thoughts.

He knew exactly why you were in there. He knew what he did to you that night. He’d figured it out but he had to ask it aloud in case he might be wrong.

“Are you pregnant?”

———————————————————————

You decided to have ‘the talk’ outside the hospital because you didn’t want to create a scene. It was bad enough that Kageyama was deeply panic-stricken as he waited for you to speak.

“6 weeks,” you muttered, not meeting his gaze.

You saw him hold his breath. “Is it mine?”

That question alone made you look at him in disbelief. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“I don’t know who else you’ve been sleeping with,” he bluntly claimed. “It could be someone else, like Oikawa!”

You gathered all your strength not to slap him in the face. You loved this guy with all your might, but right now you wanted nothing but to hurt him.

“Oikawa and I aren’t together!” you yelled at his face. “You’re the one who forgot to tell me that you have a girlfriend and you’re making me out to be.. to be some kind of a whore!”

There was no point of stopping your tears from streaming down your face. It was the second time you’ve cried today and about the hundredth time you’ve cried for the past month.

Kageyama was having an absolute mental breakdown at the fact that you were carrying his child. It crushed you.

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head in denial. “No, no. This can’t be real.”

You wiped your face and snorted in disgust. “I never planned to tell you about the baby so don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t care about what you have to say in this.”

It hurt because you wanted comforting words from him. It hurt because you wanted to hear him tell you it was going to be fine. It hurt because you wanted to see him smile.

“What are you going to do now?” he asked and you took notice of how he used the word ‘you’ as if to say he wanted nothing to do with it.

You held on to the scans and took a deep breath. “I’m getting an abortion.”

For the first time in awhile, Kageyama had genuinely met your eyes. He was sincerely staring at you to search for whatever other emotion you had left.

You lied. You did care about what he had to say.

Please say no.

Please say we’ll keep the baby together.

“I’ll come...” he spoke in a cracked voice. “On the day of your appointment, I’ll be there.”

#tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama #tobio kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama x you #kageyama x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama fic #kageyama angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fic #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu

[petri808]

Oh look at the date! Klance ficlet for @diablosart they know why lol 😏

“What the hell we’re you thinking?!” Keith snapped as he popped his helmet off and chucked it hard at the ground. “Thanks to you were now trapped in a cave in!”

“Look, I’m sorry! I got distracted!” Lance snapped back.

“By what?! We were supposed to be scanning for the jababian dagger. What were you doing, watching your smut videos again?!”

Lance pulled off his helmet with a scoff. “First off, I don’t watch smut videos. Second, even if I did, that’s none of your business. And third, no, I was scanning, just wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Keith rolled his eyes and spat back with a sarcastic riff. “Well that explains why you knocked both our cats out of the damn air crashing us into this place!”

Using a flashlight, Keith scanned the inside of the cave and noticed a lot of fractures spanning the walls. According to the computer in his Lion, the cave was full of an unstable and weak type of volcanic rock. ‘No wonder it caved in so easily…’ He groaned again. “Just great, if we try to blast our way out, it might collapse the ceiling on us.” Keith walked over to his helmet and picked it up. “I’ll need to do a thorough analysis before attempting to break free. The computers on the ship could do a better job scanning this cave, but they won’t arrive until morning.”

“Are you serious?! We’re stuck in here?!”

“At least for the night, so, stop your bitching since you’re the one who got us into this mess! Why don’t you start a fire while I get to work with the computer.”

“Fine,” Lance stomped away muttering to himself. He was just happy Keith was too irritated and didn’t press him further on what he’d been distracted about.

The pair had been sent ahead of the rest of the Voltron group to look for some kind of special dagger. Lance couldn’t remember what was so important about it, just that it possessed magical properties and they didn’t want it falling into the enemy’s hands. A distress signal was sent out to their ship, so now they just needed to settle in and stay warm until help arrived. He managed to find a cache of old animal bones deeper in the cave to use as fuel for the fire, coupled with some dried leaves and tetrodontyl feathers that must have blown in over the years for kindling. Whether it would last the night was yet to be seen, but it was all he had to work with. Their Lions only held so much in terms of supplies because they weren’t meant to hold long term reserves. But luckily there were emergency blankets and some instant rations they could eat.

Lance never realized just how cold and uninviting a cave could truly be until he became stuck in one. It was creepy with the sounds of bugs scurrying in the darkness, water drops echoing through the silent air, and occasional cracking sounds from any temperature fluctuations. He hated the quiet emptiness because it left open room for his mind to wander and more thoughts to break through as he stared into the flames of their campfire. Lance frowned and brows furrowed, remembering the distraction that led to this debacle. Of course, this was the opposite of what he would have wanted! Their lions sustained damage, and to be stuck, alone, with the reason for his distracted mind was causing his stomach to turn inside out.

Maybe Lance should have pushed Keith harder to drag Pidge or Hunk or Allura along on this trip and not him, anyone but him. He didn’t want to come. Didn’t want to be alone with the man. Hasn’t, for a while now ever since he’d developed different feelings for the guy. ‘How ironic,’ Lance groaned in his head. To go from professional jealousy to romantic pining, he was such a fool. Could anyone blame him? Keith was handsome and smart, but not surprisingly it took someone who could be as hot-headed as himself to catch his eye. Or maybe it was surprising if Lance really thought about it. Girls easily caught his attention, but with Keith it was an attraction that grew through close working confines and of admiration. In essence, he fell for the character of the man and not just for his looks.

“Oi?” Keith snapped his fingers to get Lance’s attention. “The eta is now 8 hours till Shiro and the rest get here.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, okay.” Lance responded in a rather distracted tone that mirrored the monotonous looping thoughts in his head. He felt horrible about causing this disaster in the mission while at the same time kept thinking about Keith…

“That’s all you can say?” Keith questioned his teammate. “Okay?” But when he received no response, he pushed the man’s shoulder hard. “What is going on with you lately Lance? You’ve been distracted a lot and it’s starting to affect your performance.”

“Am I not allowed to have a bad day?” Lance retorted. “Everyone has their bad days, man, it’s not always a crisis.”

Keith sighed. His anger had dissipated but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still annoyed. He thought they were close enough friends that would turn to each other if something was wrong, but apparently he was mistaken. “It’s my job as the leader to worry, so cut the bullshit Lance. I know enough to know something is really bothering you. If you don’t wanna talk about it, fine, but you need to figure it out cause this,” he gestured to their damaged lions, “can’t keep happening.”

“I know, I know,” Lance dropped his head with a long exhale. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to screw up. It’s just— there’s something eating me up and I have no idea what to about it.”

A silence took hold as the two men sat there illuminated by the fire’s light. Keith didn’t want to keep pushing, but he could see the angst on Lances face and it bothered him. In all the years they’ve known each other, there was only one other time he’d ever seen the man so… sad? But it couldn’t be for the same reason, because if Lance had met a new girl he was interested in, Keith was certain he would have heard about it immediately. Lance wasn’t exactly shy about the subject unlike himself. So, what could it be? Keith stared at the fire as he pondered what to say next, but nothing really felt right to say to his friend. This wasn’t exactly a topic he was skilled in with his own little buried secret. For the next couple of hours, they stayed that way, shifting only to stoke the fire or eat some of the rations they had available. It would probably be a great idea to get some rest, but neither made a move to do so. Just… kept staring in awkward silence at a dying fire.

The temperature change in the cavern was slower than it would have been if exposed to the outside air, but nonetheless, by the mid-way mark of their wait the pair could feel it dropping. Blankets were pulled tighter around their bodies in an effort to hold back the cold, and the men had moved closer together to conserve the body heat between them. Maybe it was the exhaustion kicking in, but the limited distance no longer bothered Lance. The hours of silent reflection were also leading him to one conclusion. If he wanted to stop the frustration, coming clean was the best solution. Yet one thing kept holding him back from making the leap— the proverbial aftermath.

Yeah, so telling Keith how he really felt might take the weight off his shoulders, but what would happen after that? What if Keith is disgusted? He’ll not only lose a friend, but how could they continue working together? That would be so uncomfortable! Lance groaned in his head. Would he be willing to give up his role in Voltron? What if Keith ended up leaving instead, causing him to feel guilty about it? Would the others hold it against him? Maybe if they talked it out, they can work out something amicable… ‘Argh!’ Lance screamed in his head as cradled his lowered head. Why did he fall for a teammate!

Keith looked over at the movement and saw Lance’s demeanor. “If you’re tired, why don’t you rest?”

“It’s not that,” Lance mumbled. “I mean I am, but it’s not that.”

“Oh…”

“Have you ever had a crush on someone but didn’t know how to tell them?”

‘So it is over a girl…’ Keith’s brow raised. “Why can’t you tell them?”

“Because, it’s awkward when you’ve known them for so long.”

‘Huh, so maybe it is Allura.’ Keith couldn’t say he was surprised, but it stung just a little. “You should probably just tell them, I mean if it’s eating you up this bad, isn’t it better to just know how they feel too?”

“I don’t know…” Lance sighed. “It’s not like they’ve ever given me a reason to think they’d like me back.”

“Still, once you do know, you can start moving forward again, cause right now you’re stuck and that’s worse.”

Lance glanced over to Keith who was looking in his direction. The man was right. Didn’t make a decision any easier… but he was probably right and all he could do is hope for the best. That didn’t mean he was ready to face Keith head-on either or see the physical reaction the man might have. Lance turned his head away and kept his arms wrapped tightly around himself for protection. “It’s… you…” he mumbled quietly.

“Come again? I didn’t catch that.”

“I said… It’s you.” Lance mumbled again, but this time a little louder.

“Me??”

“See, yeah, I told you it would be awkward— just forget I said anything. I feel better just getting it out.”

Keith forced Lance to turn back to him. “No, I mean I was just surprised cause you’re always chasing after women, but—”

“I’ll just drop it and move on,” Lance cut him off. “I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.”

“But that’s the thing,” Keith interjected, “I’m not. It’s okay because I’ve liked you too but I just thought you weren’t into guys.”

Lances eyes flashed wide. He really hadn’t expected such a response, especially not this quickly. “You do?” His voice trembled as he verified the man’s statement.

“Yeah…” Keith blushed. “I don’t exactly have experience in this stuff, but I like you too Lance.”

Lance jumped up in excitement. “Wow— for once my screw up turned out to be a good thing!”

“Uh-huh…” Keith chuckled. “But don’t do that again!”

#klance #voltron #lance mcclain #keith voltron #klance ficlet #klance fanfiction

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Bagginshield Bingo- Soulmate/Ones

First entry for the game! I headcannon Bilbo to be about 14-15 in this in human terms. Remember, if I don’t get any asks, I will choose the next one for tomorrow! I hope you guys enjoy.

Title: The Souls of the Feet

Summary: Hobbits have soulmates and while Bilbo always tried to avoid finding his, it seems that his soulmate found him instead. 

Amongst the scholars and philosophers of Middle Earth, the oldest and, most likely, well worn debate stems from the location of a being’s soul. Depending on which race is being asked, the answer differs greatly. Take the men for example, hardy and hopeful, and they believe that the answer lies in the gut. After all, ‘gut instinct’ must arise from somewhere, and surely food must power both the body and the soul. 

However, if the question is posed to an elf, immortal and elegant, they would argue that the soul must rest in the chest along with the heart and the lungs. All necessary for sustaining life in this world. Loud scoffs would come from the dwarrows, secret and proud, who know that the forging of one's craft is the most soulful experience one can have, and that would be in the large hands Mahal gifted them with.

All are logical arguments and definitely merit consideration. Still, all wrong in the eyes of a hobbit. The poor, simplistic creatures believe the soul resides in their feet. As if their claim was not peculiar enough, they state it as an absolute certainty. The Big Folk just smile and indulge the hobbits with a pat on their head, and it’s this level of cynicism that keeps them from knowing the secret truth of the Shire.

Yavanna, in all her wisdom, granted hobbits the ability of knowing their soul mates. With the feet that touch the earth blessed by the Green Lady, to be touched on the foot ties a string of fate between those two souls. Always feeling, always knowing, exactly where to find their soulmate so long as their feet still walk the earth.

Because of this, the care and attention to their feet was almost sacred. To touch another’s foot with ill intention was seen as downright criminal in the Shire.

Now, accidents happen and it is by the will of Yavanna whether those people pursue a romantic relationship or just remain touched by fate. Bilbo Baggins, a young hobbit of twenty-six, was not about to take the chance. 

He kept mostly to himself and away from the other tweens. More interested in chasing imaginary elves and fairies in the woods as a child, he now took walking holidays across the whole of the Shire spending his free time reading his books and his maps from the treetops. He never saw a problem with his self-instilled isolation. His parents fretted, and his father especially questioned how he was to find his soulmate if he kept to himself? However, Bilbo figured his soulmate would find him when the time was right. 

It was on one such day that Bilbo was lazing in a low branch over the river. Turned facing the trunk, his head was cradled by the leaves and berries. His right foot bent up at the knee, while his left swung freely below. Lost in the inked words of heroes and magic, Bilbo was completely oblivious to his surroundings. So when something brushed against his hanging foot, he sat up nearly dropping his book.

“Excuse me.” A voice called up as the person reached up and grabbed Bilbo’s foot to gain his attention.

Bilbo released a loud shriek as he jumped to his feet backing away. His foot! Someone touched his foot! In such distress, he seemed to have completely forgotten that he was in a tree, and there was really no place for him to go but down. His stomach flew to his throat as he was completely weightless for a small moment. Then he was plunged into the Brandywine.

If there had ever been Stoor blood in his genealogy, it had died out long ago as Bilbo sunk like a rock beneath the current. His lungs and nose burned as he wildly kicked and flailed hoping in vain to reach the surface. His head broke through for only a moment, and he gulped in air while he could.

“HOLD ON!”

Bilbo barely heard the roaring voice before he was plunged back below. His chest ached with desperation, and he was so tempted just to open his mouth and be done with it. Then he collided with something solid. His limbs instinctively wrapped tight in the hope of salvation even as his eyes refused to open.

Honestly, Bilbo wasn’t sure how he got onto the banks. One moment, he was fighting against the rushing waters, and the next he was on his hands and knees. Spluttering, coughing, hacking as water and snot ran down his face. His limbs shook as the fear wore off enough for the exhaustion of his journey to seep in.

“Are you alright?”

There was a warm hand on his back that made Bilbo look up. Blue. He was drowning once more. Numbly words tumbled from his mouth.

“My foot.”

A soft frown touched the being’s face, and Bilbo was able to break away from his eyes long enough to take in the sharp nose, short dark beard, long soft locks to match, and the large hands that were common among Aule’s children. A dwarf? The dwarf looked down at his foot, and Bilbo was now consciously aware of the deep throb resonating through his sole. The dwarf reached down taking his foot in hand, and Bilbo released a gasp.

Sweet Yavanna, he didn’t know that one could feel waves of pure bliss in this way. It was as if the sun had been gone without him even knowing, and he finally was feeling its warmth for the first time. His body went limp, and he turned his head so he could get a good look at his soulmate. His soulmate. He wanted to be annoyed by his method of contact, but he was too mesmerized by the beautiful creature to care about the accidental touching.

He was large. From his broad shoulders to his mannish hands down to his sculpted chest that his wet tunic clung desperately. Wet tunic? Bilbo grinned brightly as he realized it was the dwarf that saved him from the river. His brave, handsome, kind soulmate. If Bilbo weren’t still technically a minor, he would propose right here on the spot.

“Did that hurt?” The dwarf questioned raising an eyebrow.

“Hurt?” Bilbo laughed. “It felt incredible. Here, let me.”

He sat up and reached over for the dwarf’s feet only to stop short at the sight of the dark squared monstrosities hiding his soulmate’s feet. His confusion must have been written on his face because the dwarf spoke up once more.

“You...want me to remove my boots?”

“Yes.” Bilbo nodded, his brow still furrowed.

The dwarf hesitated, but under Bilbo’s putout expression, slowly complied with the request. Bilbo’s jaw dropped aghast to see another layer of wool underneath the dreaded leather beasts. His plight seemed to amuse the dark haired dwarf as he huffed a laugh before removing the woolen socks as well.

Bilbo laughed in incredulous delight. They were so dainty and smooth! He reached out towards one only to hesitate and look up for the dwarf’s permission. His blue eyes tore straight through him as if trying to discern his every possible intention before finally giving a small curious nod.

Bilbo’s touch was revenant, and his heart immediately ached. There was so much pain in his dwarf’s poor soul. The pain of loss brought tears to Bilbo’s eyes. However, there was also a fluttering of hope. It was beautiful and noble and built on limitless dreams of glory and a far off calling of home. Yes, Bilbo’s dwarf was a good one indeed. 

He began to rub the foot exactly as his mother told him in order to soothe the pain. Thorin tensed for a moment before letting go with a sigh. Bilbo smiled, happy to do this one small thing for his sweet soulmate. He didn’t know if it was normal to be this attached, but he couldn’t help himself. He continued to rub until contentment settled into the dwarf’s bones.

“What did you do?” He asked softly when Bilbo finally, reluctantly released him.

“I merely dulled the pain and reminded your soul of better times.” Bilbo answered.

“I didn’t even know I had such aches; long has been my journey.”

“It was the least I could do. I mean...you did save my life.” Bilbo ducked his head shyly.

A large hand reached up and ruffled his curls.

“It was the least I could do, Little One. After all, it was my fault you fell in the first place.”

Bilbo was nearly vibrating with the attention until he caught the dwarf’s pet name.

“Little?! I am practically an adult.” He complained.

The dwarf snorted as he proceeded to cover his feet once more. Something else that caused Bilbo displeasure.

“My nephews would say much the same.”

“You have nephews?” Bilbo jumped eager to know more of his soulmate. “How old are they?”

“Let’s see...the younger one just turned...fifty-two, I believe. Which would make the eldest fifty-seven.”

Bilbo blinked owlishly at the dwarf wondering at the purpose behind this jest, but he did nothing to deny it as he laced his boots back up. As it settled around him, Bilbo came to the realization that the dwarf was being one hundred percent serious. Just how old was his soulmate?!

“And what about you? I would imagine on the frontside of fifty. Forty-seven? Forty-eight?”

“Twenty-six.” Bilbo murmured still reeling from the apparent longevity of dwarves.

The dark haired dwarf’s jaw dropped as his face paled. 

“Twenty...by Mahal! We need to get you back to your parents right away!” 

Bilbo’s face turned crimson as the implication that he was but a young faunt, but then the dwarf took his hand in his, and Bilbo stayed his tongue as he found he enjoyed the sensation. It was incredible to him that dwarves’ hands were so large when their feet were so cute and small. Exactly opposite of a hobbit. It was like Yavanna and Aule planned for them to compliment each other. Bilbo took advantage of the situation and laced their fingers together as he swung the limbs back and forth. The dwarf, Bilbo still had not learned his name, allowed him with an indulgent smile. Wait. Bilbo still did not know his name.

“What’s your name?” He asked immediately seeking the blue orbs for answers.

“I am Thorin, son of Thrain. How about you, Little One?”

Bilbo clearly was not about to lose that nickname anytime soon.

“Bilbo Baggins.” He responded.

“Bilbo.” Thorin repeated fondly.

Bilbo repressed the urge to shiver at how his name sounded in Thorin’s velvety voice. Trying to distract himself from his desire to press closer, Bilbo began to prattle on, telling Thorin all about his home and the Shire in general. He talked about his desires for adventure and his cosy smial. He talked for so long, wanting to share every detail of himself with Thorin that he wasn’t even aware they were home until he walked straight into the gate.

“I suppose this is where I leave you, Little One.”

Bilbo’s eyes widened. Leave? Why would Thorin leave?

“I must return to my home now.” Thorin explained in amusement.

Bilbo ducked his head not realizing he had asked his questions aloud.

“Will you come back?” He begged already hating the distance between them.

“I may.” Thorin smirked.

Bilbo’s grin split his face as he leaned up and placed a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose. Thorin watched completely bewildered.

“Good. Because I have chosen you.”

“Chosen me for what?”

“To be mine.” Bilbo answered honestly.

The dwarf looked confused but still managed to draw a small smile to his face.

“Farewell, Bilbo Baggins.”

“I’ll be waiting! Thorin, son of Thrain!” Bilbo declared waving enthusiastically to the dwarf as he departed down the hill.

Bilbo was able to feel every step he took further and further away from him. It was like a tug on the very soul of his feet. Uncomfortable and strained. It made Bilbo want to run down after the dwarf, and never let him go. However, he could wait. He would become of age soon enough, and then he would chase off into the wilderness after that dwarf. He just didn’t know the wait would be longer than he would ever know. Long enough for him to all but forget about the insistent tug that demanded his attention away from the Shire. However, Bilbo was quickly reminded when for the first time in twenty-five years, the tug eased in its pull indicating his dwarf was finally coming back for him. Now if only he could get this pesky wizard to leave him alone so he could prepare...

#bagginshield bingo #bagginshield #thilbo #ones/soulmates #get it...'soul of the foot' #:D #the nose kiss...literally one of my favorite parts

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Twenty Three

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

February 24th, 2001

Remy slipped into the night relatively seamlessly, even though he shivered in the cold rain that was starting to settle in. Maybe he shouldn’t have walked all the way to the college campus area. Even Emile drove there every day, and it took him fifteen to twenty minutes to get there on a good day. It would take over an hour to walk back home.

Oh, well, live and learn. Theo’s words were bouncing around in his skull, and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to them. It was certainly sound advice, but how did he apply it?

More importantly, how did he know if he was ready with one person but not with another? How did he know that one specific person was the one he wanted? How did he differentiate between the need for a distraction and the need for love?

He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to find out.

  March 31st, 2001

“Are you sure about this?” Emile asked, breathless in between their kissing. “Like, really sure?”

Remy lightly nipped Emile’s neck, causing him to shudder, and Remy smiled. “Emile, there’s nothing I’ve been more sure about in my entire life.”

“Okay...okay. I just know you got nervous before, and I didn’t want to pressure you into anything...”

“Good thing I’m asking then, isn’t it?” Remy teased.

“Remy...Remy. Hang on,” Emile said, as Remy dragged Emile to their bedroom. Remy turned around, and he could see the clear worry in Emile’s eyes. “You’re not scared? You’re not pushing yourself into this?”

Remy softened and pulled Emile in for a tender but desperate kiss. “I’m sure, Emile. I want this. I want you.”

“Okay, then,” Emile said, and together they fell onto Remy’s bed, already laughing.

Remy bolted upright in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes to check the time. Seven AM. Dammit, he thought. Not again.

He’d been getting dreams about Emile and him being together with increasing frequency for the past couple weeks now, and it was waking him up at all hours of the night. To make matters worse, once he woke up past six, he was up for the day. He was almost always awoken by a “fade to black,” but the most annoying times where when he wasn’t, and he woke up in the middle, realizing it was a dream and feeling miserable.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up with a stretch. No use in trying to fall back asleep when he couldn’t, right?

When he walked out, he found Emile stumbling around the kitchen, slightly coherent but not nearly as much as he usually was when Remy first woke up. “Oh, so you do have days where you’re not a morning person,” Remy laughed. “I was wondering.”

“Mm. Didn’t sleep well,” Emile muttered. “Whatever you’ve been dealing with that’s keeping you up must be rubbing off on me.”

Remy felt an icy tendril of terror down his spine. I certainly hope not. “Bad dreams?”

“I can never remember,” Emile said with a shrug. “You?”

“I remember pieces,” Remy lied. He remembered every graphic detail of every last dream. This was driving him nuts. Emile wasn’t even interested in him, he had said so himself. “Nothing important.”

Emile just nodded as Remy held his breath. “Yeah. Hey, random question for you, because I haven’t been able to get this out of my mind.”

“Yeah, shoot,” Remy said, heading to the coffee pot.

“Let’s say if you were serious with someone. Like, you wanted to date them and they wanted to date you, right?”

Remy didn’t like the direction this was taking, but he said, “Yeah?” anyway.

“What would your ideal date be? Maybe not like, a first date, but just a date in general?” Emile asked.

Remy felt his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. “I don’t know, I guess something dorky and basic, you know? Like dinner and a movie. Why do you ask?”

Emile looked a little pink around the ears as he said, “I was just wondering one day, and it refused to leave my mind, so I decided to put it to rest.”

“Oh,” Remy said. Inwardly, he sighed in relief. Even if he had new fodder for his imagination, with Emile trying to take him on the perfect date, Emile was just curious. That was normal. Emile got curious all the time. It was par for the course. Of course, the fact that he had to ask about Remy’s romantic life did hurt a bit. Just because he still did love Emile, and he knew that Emile couldn’t feel the same. “Any reason that popped into your head?”

“I mean...” Emile shrugged. “Maybe I have a little bit of interest in this one guy...”

“Shut. Up,” Remy said, his brain making a record scratch noise. “You like someone?! Who is it?!”

Emile squirmed. “It’s a little embarrassing, not because of who he is but because of where we are relationship-wise...and I want to see if it lasts beyond a fleeting crush...” he said.

Remy felt his heart be torn into shreds as his brain simultaneously tried to put the pieces together. “Come on, you can tell me, can’t you? This isn’t some revenge on me for not telling you that I was trying to get busy the weekend you were out of town?”

“No, it’s not revenge for that,” Emile was quick to assure. “I just really don’t feel ready.”

“Can you give me hints?” Remy pleaded.

Emile laughed a little, clearly nervous. “Well, he loves coffee. Sometimes it feels like all he does is sleep and drink the stuff. And he’s...he’s trying super hard to be kind to everyone he meets. Like, he always did have it in him to be kind, but he didn’t always use it. Now he is, and I’m...super proud of him for that.”

Remy could feel his heart skipping beats. Emile sounded like he was describing Remy. But, that definitely couldn’t be. That couldn’t be the case, because Emile said he wasn’t interested.

Yeah, a month and a half ago, his brain helpfully pointed out. And a lot can change in a month.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were describing me,” Remy teased.

Emile blushed a dark red, and Remy knew this was going one of two ways: he had either hit the nail on the head, or he was close enough to another one of Emile’s friends that Remy wasn’t sure he knew about. And...no matter what he wanted to hope, he was pretty sure Emile wasn’t describing him. “Is this one of your high school buddies? You know, someone you might see over spring break?”

“What?” Emile asked dumbly, before he stammered out, “Uh, y-yeah. Kinda. I’m definitely gonna try and see him over spring break. Even if I’m too chicken to confess to anything, I like getting to spend time with him.”

“You should tell him you like him,” Remy said.

“You...you think so?” Emile asked.

Remy nodded. “Look. You might not love me, and I’m coming to terms with that. Slowly, but surely. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you, necessarily, but if you’re happier with someone who’s... not me, well, then, I want you to be happy.”

Emile smiled weakly. “Don’t get over me too quickly. If you’re lucky, I might catch feelings back.”

“If only,” Remy sighed. “Look, Emile, I’m not offended that you don’t like me. Did it hurt? Yeah, but lots of love hurts. It’s not that big of a deal. Is this your way of saying you have feelings for me?”

“Well, no, but...”

“No but’s,” Remy said. “I can’t make you love me. And it’s fine that you don’t. Just...if you’re happy with this guy, then be with him. Have fun, go on a date or two. You have my blessing. Not that you need it, but if it’ll make you feel better about this, you have it.”

“I...okay,” Emile said, and his voice was small. He took a deep breath, and said, “What are you planning on doing while I’m on spring break? Like, where I go depends on the hours I get, but do you have any plans?”

“I’d love to go to the beach someday, but probably not during spring break. All the college kids are gonna be swarming the place. I guess...I don’t really have any plans,” Remy said with a shrug.

“Then if I have bad hours, why don’t we go out to dinner some night? It’s been a while since we’ve done that,” Emile said, voice growing a bit more confident.

Remy was quiet as he took a long sip of coffee. Then, to be funny, he smirked. “Only if the guy you’re interested in wouldn’t mind,” Remy said with a wink. “Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble with your future boyfriend.”

“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll mind,” Emile said with a laugh. “So dinner. Anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

“Doesn’t have to be anywhere big,” Remy said. “We could share pizza at any of the joints around here and I’d enjoy it.”

“Cool,” Emile said with a smile. “It’s a date, then!”

“Careful, Emile. Like I said, if you keep saying that, people will think we’re dating.”

Emile laughed, a genuine sound that made Remy grin in response. Things seemed to be returning to normal for them, which Remy was super happy about. Yeah, they might not be dating, but he and Emile were proving inseparable, and that...comforted Remy in a way he couldn’t describe. Like, the world could be ending but at the end of the day he would still have Emile, and that was all that mattered.

“I have class,” Emile said, grabbing the last of his breakfast and heading to his room. “I’ll see you after work?”

“Same bat time, same bat channel,” Remy teased.

Emile stared at him a moment, before squealing and crushing Remy in a hug. As soon as he had done that, though, he had moved to his room, yelling, “I don’t have time to appreciate that properly right now but know that I appreciate it!”

Remy laughed and waved to Emile on his way out of the house. He sighed when Emile was gone, and poured himself a second mug of coffee. He had to get going to work soon, too, so he decided to stick to coffee and toast for today. Remy laughed to himself. Emile had two people in his life who only sustained themselves on coffee and spite? It must have been a very small world indeed.

Remy’s heart wasn’t even hurting anymore, he was so happy that things were going back to normal, and he was excited that Emile was excited for spring break. Plus, they’d get to go out to dinner together, which they hadn’t done in ages. Remy wondered why that had stopped, especially when he said that he didn’t mind it after he confessed his feelings. He felt like it was around the time after he had talked with Theo. He had never known a person to be nice to him just because. Toby was his brother and was obligated to do that to a degree. Emile was nice to him out of spite at first, and then out of attachment later. But Theo was kind to him without even knowing him well, and it opened Remy’s eyes.

You could be kind to someone without them being kind to you first. You weren’t obligated to be nice, but if you were nice, people would appreciate your presence more. And on top of that, being nice just...felt good, sometimes. And sure, sometimes being sickeningly sweet and nice to people in retail was done out of spite, but the shy ones or the people who were very clearly having a hard time? If you smiled at them, or wrote them a nice note on their coffee, it made a world of difference. And he found that he liked doing it more.

Sure, it took more effort. Sure, it didn’t come naturally to him. But all things considered, he didn’t mind making the effort to be a little nicer. If he could be a tenth as nice as Emile was, he was sure he could make friends with little to no issues, just by being kind and striking up a conversation. That was new, but it was something he wanted, and something he was willing to work for.

He was going to do this. He was going to tackle the day with a smile on his face, because the world was finally making sense again, and he could handle anything that came his way. Spring break also danced at the corners of his mind, making him smile as he pulled on the lighter of his leather jackets. Dinner with Emile. Even if that wasn’t as a date, if he really wanted to, he could pretend it was. Not that he would really need to, though. He and Emile were best friends, and he was more than happy with that.

Yeah. The world was finally making sense again.

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #Emile Picani #ts sleep

[faecaptainofdreams]

I do not own Marvel. Yes, Wade drew this with crayon. Marvel HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… Peter HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… Wade HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… If you don't like this ship i don't care. Don't talk to me about it, find something you do enjoy. If you're into it, then thanks for stopping by! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- TW: strong language, mature themes ~~Humble Start~~ When Peter was 19, he met 25-year-old Wade in January when the merc was teaming up with the Avengers to help him find his target, who happened to be involved in something the Avengers were trying to undo. When the men first shook hands and Peter introduced himself, he removed his mask, to which Wade suddenly replied "Hot DAMN! What are you, a Disney prince?!" Peter, startled, backed away, and Tony urged Peter to put his mask back on. As it was, Spiderman and Deadpool got along. Before they all parted ways (with the problem resolved and Deadpool having gotten his man), the latter thought it might be fun to pop in once in a while and visit the Avengers. While the others drily insisted that he don't do that, Spidey thought Deadpool could be a potentially good friend. Despite Tony's aversion to it, Peter gave Wade his number and suggested they hang out sometime. Wade showed up a couple weeks later after having texted Peter off and on. Still shy about his appearance and preferring to not be seen at a lower profile, he came to the facility wearing fingerless gloves, concealing clothing, and his Deadpool mask. After he and Peter hung out the first couple of times, the younger of them asked if Wade would let him see his face. With lots of self-deprecating jokes, Wade said no. Sometimes Peter would go meet up with Wade and go mess around with him, and soon enough he introduced the assassin to his friends, Ned and MJ. They all talked to each other regularly, forming a tight little friend group. Wade sometimes felt like he didn't belong with them, like he was too old to be their friend, but they all had the same childish sense of humor. And given how intelligent the younger trio was, they felt mature to him. Many times, Wade forgot that he was older, even if it was only by a couple of years. As months passed, the Avengers got used to Wade's presence and didn't take much issue with Peter hanging out with him. It was innocent (although Tony loathed the sex jokes and vulgarity, especially when it was directed at his boy). It was clear that Peter had a vastly different moral compass and a much more sensible head on his shoulders, and was not going to be influenced by Wade's mercenary ways. He was trusted with the friendship. ~~The Crush~~ Wade fancied Peter from the start. The second the mask had come off, Wade was smitten, but he figured it would go away or just stay stagnant. He'd been attracted to and thirsted after people loads of times (hence all his sexual escapades), but he was never the settle-down type. He joked about Peter being attractive and sexy and made all kinds of quips, but given he was so crass by nature, Peter never took it too seriously. He did believe Wade thought he was attractive, but he knew he was like this with multiple people and figured it was harmless. Which it was, but he didn't understand that it was serious. The more Wade stuck around and the more he got to know the Spiderman, the more his feelings grew. He eventually had to face facts and accept that he didn't just like Peter for his body -- he liked his character. The boy was an absolute magnet; bright and sunny, happy, forgiving, generous, kind, merciful, hilarious, intelligent, and non-judgmental. He was the ultimate package. Wade also knew he was bisexual and knew that if he really worked up to it, asking Peter out wasn't out of the question or too far-fetched. What was far-fetched, to his mind, was the idea that Peter would ever say "yes." And even if he did say yes, was that fair to the Ironman's golden child? Wade was a self-sustaining disaster with baggage so heavy even Spiderman couldn't pick it up. As far as he was concerned, it was best to keep his feelings to himself and spare Peter the misery. What he didn't realize was Peter was starting to notice him, too. By Autumn, Wade sorely opened up to Weasel about his feelings. ---        "Ew, do you like...love him?" "Maybe."        "Gross. What are you gonna do?" Wade shrugged. "Nothing, same as usual. He doesn't need my insanity in his life, he's too kind and innocent."        "But you wanna fuck him, right? Maybe just try to do that." "No, Jesus! Are you even listening? Peter's not that kind of guy, and even if he was into it, I can't take advantage of him like that." Weasel's face scrunched in mild disgust.        "God, you have it bad for him..." "Yeah. It's like, he's a total bro, but fuckable. He's soft but strong, masculine but feminine, fierce but graceful."        "   " "He's the kind of guy you take on like fifteen dates, buy flowers and candy, get one of those stupid little Hallmark cards with some sappy bullshit saying how much the sender loves him. Then, you fuck him. Not at your place, but at his place, so he's more comfortable, and only after you've made him spaghetti and chocolate-covered strawberries, by candle light. You fuck gently. Passionately, but with strength, but you don't wanna hurt him. But he's secretly a sex tiger under the sheets, and it kinda scares you, but you love it, but you're still afraid to fuck him any other way than gently."        "I feel like this is a fantasy you've had for a while." "No, of course not."        "So...he's your friend, you want to fuck him, but you don't wanna just fuck him because that would be taking advantage of him. Because you'd rather have a relationship with him, but you don't wanna have a relationship with him because you think he deserves better, but you're gonna keep hanging out with him and torture yourself. Is that... I mean, am I close?" "Like a Hawkeye arrow through a nutsack with a target drawn on it."        "Ow. I think my left testicle just rose back inside of me in fear." "Balls are very perceptive."        "Okay, well here's my advice." Wade learned forward.        "... You're fucked." "Thanks, I totally needed help figuring that out."        "Who is the guy, anyway?" "...Peter Parker..."        "Pete-- like Spiderman Peter Parker?" "Yup."        "How the fuck...?" "I know."        "I feel like I saw his face on the news last year when he got all discovered, but I don't remember. You got a picture?" "Yeah," Wade grumbled while reaching in his pocket for his phone.       "Heh, 'course you do, you sick-o." After glaring at his friend, Wade pulled up a picture of Peter and zoomed in on his smiling face.       "WHOA, holy MOSES, that guy is good looking!" "I know."        "He looks like a stallion and a buck had sex with an Irish setter!" "Yeah, told ya. Fierce, but graceful."        "I've always been a pussy-man, but I gotta say... He's making me question my sexuality." "He has that affect on people."        "That is MAJORLY out of your league." "Thank you." Wade put his phone away.       "How old is he?" "Nineteen."        "Whoooa, a little on the young side, huh?" "Just a little, but he's mature for his age."        "..." "...That sounded a little creepy, I take that back." --- Wade began an off-and-on effort of keeping Peter at arm's length. He went through periods of texting and hanging out with him less, but whenever it was clear that Peter could tell something was up, he snapped back into the picture. He couldn't bear to make Peter worry or feel as though he'd done something wrong. This went on for a couple of months. Peter too, was beginning to feel a little bit of romantic sting. Wade hooked up with a couple of people over the months, including Vanessa. There was a brief period where the two of them copulated like rabbits, and that was with the ex-prostitute knowing that Wade had feelings for someone. In the merc's mind, maybe he could get his needs out of his system, but it didn't work. If anything, he felt emptier after each fling. Peter was attracted to Wade before he even realized he was. Always seeking him out, making sure their friendship was solid, feeling a constant need to have a hand on him in one way or another. He also played into some of Wade's lewd jokes and would tease him. Then there was the dancing and singing, of course, which only got more intense as time went on (a natural instinct of the jumping spider to try and woo a mate through display). Tony and Steve began to notice the men getting closer, and Tony was very unhappy. Steve convinced him to stay quiet and let Peter figure it out. In late Fall, Peter turned 20. Wade was there for his party, as were Ned and MJ. It was a lot of fun! Come December, Wade turned 26. He'd tried another couple of times to get away from Peter again, but the boy wouldn't let him go. They were like a binary system of stars, unable to pull away from each other, constantly drawn back into one another's path by an unseen force. For how long could this go on before they collided? And when they did, would they blow up and break apart, or make one bigger, more beautiful star? ~~Spoken Interest~~ By January, Peter came to terms with his own crush, and secretly told Ned about it. For the next month and a half, the boys gabbed about it, and Ned found it adorable and kind of funny. Peter said he wanted to ask Wade out, but was nervous that Wade wouldn't be interested. "Well you're not gonna know unless you ask," said Ned. Peter flirted a little more with Wade, but it mostly came across awkwardly. It basically felt like he was just humiliating himself over and over again, but Wade was noticing the difference in him. Regardless, he tried to respect the space, and refused to give himself up. In February, Peter asked Wade to hang out with him at a park somewhere and "people watch," since Wade enjoyed that activity. He felt it would be a nice, serene setting to keep Wade's attention and finally admit his feelings. He told Ned about his plan; the latter was exhilarated at the thought, and said he'd be standing by. Peter put on a warm but nice outfit and drove off to their spot to talk. Even though it was casual as always, they could both sense tension. They sat and chatted for a while, and with a racing heart, Peter finally found the right moment to confess. ---        "Hey, so... I've kinda been wanting to talk to you about something." "Hamburgers."        "I... What?" "Hamburgers! They're weird, right? I mean, ham comes from pigs, and beef comes from cows. Hamburgers are made with cow meat, but we call them ham-burgers." Wade threw his hands up, head rolling about. "The fuck is up with that??"        "O-oh, hah, I guess it sounds more appealing than...beef...burgers...?" Wade nodded thoughtfully. "Hm. Yeah, sounds kinda naughty." Peter could hear Wade's grin, and he stifled a laugh. His own smile was more earnest, but his desire flitted behind it. "Like beef curtain, or beef stick--"        "Wade." "Yeah?"        "Look, um..." He turned to face his company better, now getting nervous.       "You and I are...really good friends, right?" "Why yes, broski dear."        "Hah, well... It's just... Ahh, I don't wanna say anything and...mess that up." "...Well, what do you wanna say...?" There was a long silence.        "...Okay -- okay, total honesty... Wade, I..." He drew in a deep breath.       "I like you..." They stared at each other. After a long silence, the older male playfully slapped Peter's arm. "I like you too, beef buddy! ... Yikes, wow, see? Beef is just a naughty word." Peter blinked, thoughts spinning in his head a mile a minute. Wade knew what he really meant, but he couldn't begin to believe that in its suddenness. He was bracing for Peter to call him out on his own crush and possibly disown him, but this threw him for a loop.        "N... N-no, no Wade, I mean... I like you...as more than a buddy, or a bro..." He swallowed.       "Or a friend..." He rubbed his hands together, slowly and tensely, brown orbs wide while looking at Wade. The cold white eyes of Wade's mask pierced back at him. "...Oh..."        "A-and... I just thought, m-maybe, if...you don't think it's weird, or if -- I don't know, if maybe you liked me too, we could...date...?" There was another long pause. This time, Wade understood for certain. When he looked forward to contemplate, stunned expression hidden by the mask, Peter looked off and around, his heart sinking. There were times when Wade was genuinely difficult to read, and this was one of them. Wade was getting his wish, it was like the start of his fantasy had come true! All he had to do was agree to it. "Uh, I don't think we should do that." He regretted it the second he said it. Peter felt his heart drop, and his face begin to turn red with shock and embarrassment.        "Oh," he croaked while looking down at his lap. Wade's answer stunned him. When the merc spoke, he tried to bring it back to a place of casualty in the hopes of removing the heavy feeling from the air. "Look, don't get me wrong, you've heard me talk about ya. You're precious, and I'd be beside myself to fuck your brains out." Peter almost smiled, but the desperation for answers overpowered the natural response to do so. Wade continued. "But you're romantic, you need stability. I'm a one-night stand kind of guy, friends-with-benefits and all that. You're not really about that life, right? I mean, come on. You wouldn't sleep with me without getting to know me, right?" Peter swallowed something dry and thick. Looking away, the hope for this to go anywhere withdrew from his gaze, and he shook his head.        "No..." Even Wade was at a loss for words for a moment. He may have turned his head away, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see Peter's heart breaking. He saw his red cheeks, his pinkish eyes. He could feel the sadness, and a lot of it was coming from himself, too. But he pulled it together again and lightly slapped the back of his hand against Peter's shoulder. "Eyyy, come on, this doesn't change anything, right? We're still pals." Peter quickly nodded. He was polite as ever, but the sensation that he had just gotten hit by a train was easy to read.       "No -- yeah, yeah yeah yeah, it's -- it's just... It's a little embarrassing, aha, I mean... You know, I..." "Nah, it's not so bad. It's adorable! Like I said, doesn't change a thing. Now when we get past this, I can tease you about thinking I'm a hot piece of ass." Peter did finally crack a small, broken smile and shook his head. He was glad that Wade wanted to be friends, but the damage was done. "...I mean you still wanna be friends, right?"        "Absolutely! I just... It's kind of a hard pill to swallow..." "Yeah, I know. You put yourself out there, then get shot down..." With genuine remorse and a strong but hidden wave of self-loathing, Wade laid a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I'm sorry." Peter nodded again and closed his eyes. He felt emotional, but why? Did it really mean that much to him? Staying strong, he glanced at Wade, mustering a hurt smile.        "Don't be sorry, you know I prefer honesty. I mean it'd be really stupid to say 'yes' when you don't want that, right?" As if Wade's heart couldn't sink any further. "Yeah..."        "Look man, um... It's -- I'm not like mad or anything, you didn't do anything wrong, but... I think I should go home, and just, like...try to process it--" "Yeah! Nothing wrong with that. I'll give you a couple days to uh...reel."        "Yeah, I think that sounds good." When they rose to their feet, they both chuckled sadly. In their awkwardness, Peter offered his hand to shake, which Wade accepted uneasily, but eventually pulled Peter into a side hug. "It'll be fine, we'll get past it. You take your time."        "K-ay..." With one last hurt smile, Peter left Wade's company. On the way back to his car, he finally let the tears roll. Wade watched him go until his car was out of sight, stunned by his own foolishness. He wasn't stupid; he knew he had made Peter cry. He knew he'd broken his heart, and he hated himself for it. When Wade got to his apartment, he took out his anger on his environment, taking to breaking a lot of things in his living space. --- Peter did his best to get most of his emotions out before he got home, but the sadness and hurt would linger. When he got inside he pretended everything was okay, but it was obvious his mind was elsewhere. Not too long after getting in, he went to his room and called Ned. ---    "Hey, what's up? Did you talk to him?"        "Yeah."    "...Uh-oh. What did he say?"        "He said 'no.'..."    "Awww man, Peter, I'm sorry. Did he say why?" Peter tried to keep his sniffles quiet, but Ned could hear them anyway.       "Yeah, u-um... He said that...you know, he's a one-night-stand kind of guy, and that I'm -- we're -- ... He doesn't...think it would be a good idea, because he just...likes sex, and I'm romantic, so..."    "That really sucks, I'm sorry."        "Me too..."    "...Hey, I rigged my GTA 4 game to get Carmageddon on the 360." Peter continued to hold back his emotions, but only half-cared about Ned's random statement.       "Y-eah...?"    "Yeah, it's really funny! Can I come over and show you? It should work on your 360." Now understanding, Peter smiled a little.       "Yeah, that sounds cool. We could, um... I could make...popcorn, or something."    "Awesome! Is now good?"        "Sure, uh -- lemme ask Tony first, just to be sure."    "Okay. Text me." --- After they said goodbye and hung up, Peter got confirmation from Tony that having Ned over for a few hours would be fine. While on his way to go prepare everything, May found Peter and insisted he tell her what was wrong, as she could tell something was up. Although he'd wanted to keep it hidden from his elders, Peter (naturally) trusted May and knew it was confidential, so he came clean. Seeing her nephew's broken heart, May consoled him and offered a little advice about how to heal up from it, and insisted that they would, yes, go back to being friends in time. ~~SpideyPool~~ In the days passing, Peter and Wade refrained from messaging each other. Peter went about his usual life, including going on regular patrols. He took down a couple of small criminals, helped a few people in minor danger. This always felt good; even the littlest of ways he could help people made his day brighter and his heart fuller. Wade, meanwhile, had spent the days since the rejection in sorrow and self-hatred. He'd smashed a lot of the stuff in his apartment and all but shredded the couch, laying face-down on the tattered furniture in a mess of stuffing, old food scraps, alcohol and the same outfit he'd had on when he last talked to Peter (minus the coat, boots and mask). It had been five days. But on this fifth day, Colossus happened to pop in. He knocked. ---   "Wade? You are playing Elvis again. Are you all right?" "AwwwWWW!! I'm not in the mood, Sputnik! Fuck the shit off!" Colossus opened the door and hunched in, turning off Wade's music.    "You should really lock door. Wade, you are a mess; what is wrong?" The merc answered him with his face still down and pressed to the couch. "What's wrong is this big metal dildo man keeps showing up at my door even after I tell him to fuck. the. shit. OFF." Colossus looked around, ignoring him.   "How do you live like this..." "I'm not living, I'm existing."    "Clearly. Is this another episode? Perhaps I should take you back to the mansion again." Wade lifted his head, tired eyes closed. "GOD, no! No more bland-coated walls with old white men all over them and every other X-Man acting like the studio couldn't afford to pay them to even just walk around and pretend they live there." Colossus raised a brow, but ignored him, as he was so used to doing.   "Well, if this is not episode, then what is it?" Wade's face flopped back into the couch, pressing in harder than earlier. "Imn mm bmng m thnntl dmshm."    "What?" With a heavy groan of aggravation, he sat up entirely, allowing small bags of food trash to spill onto the floor from its position under his body. Colossus winced at the crinkling and crumbs. "It's me being a total dipshit..." "What did you do," he asked tiredly while folding his arms. "I told you I liked some guy, right? Well... Turns out, he liked me, too."    "That is good news." "Yeah, it was, until he told me he liked me and I shot him down like a retarded clay pigeon in a Guantanamo Bay shooting range."    "..." "I swear to god, it's like while I wasn't looking, the cancer snuck into my brain and made me even stupider."    "Why did you turn him down?" "Because -- he's nice, okay? I don't just wanna get in his pants, I want to date him. I want to have a relationship, but he's not the person I should be trying that out with on account of how fucked sideways with a cactus my head is."    "On inside, or outside?" When Wade glared up at him, Colossus chuckled. Squinting, Wade lowered his voice. "Are you The Moby? 'Cos I haven't even taken The Great American Challenge yet, and I feel like you're stretching my ass WIDE open."    "Eugh! Listen..." Colossus softened up and sat beside him carefully.   "You are...different, very rough around the edges. You are afraid that this guy is too good for you." "No, I KNOW he's too good for me. I can't risk screwing up his life."    "How do you know that would happen?" "Uh, do I not ruin everything everywhere I go?"    "Only when you really mean to. But he likes you too, yes?" "He says he does... I'm not sure why."    "Maybe because, in your own strange way, you are charming man. You have a big heart, you care about people -- most of all, him, it seems." "That's why I gotta stay away from him."    "No, that is why you must go to him." Wade glanced up at his company.    "You must go tell him the truth, give it a second chance. He deserves to know what you are thinking, does he not?" "... No, I don't want to make him more miserable."    "If he is miserable, it is only because you have not been honest with him." "...You really think I should do this? You really think I should go over there and just...tell him how I feel?"    "Absolutely." "...Just admit that you want me, Colossus." Colossus sighed. "I don't know,..."    "Trust me, if you don't do this, then you will never know what could be. You will spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been, your soul will forever be restless." "..."    "...Who is it that you are pining for so badly?" Wade's voice almost cracked. "P-eter Parker..."    "Peter Parker?? You mean Spiderman???" "Yeah."    "OH, he is a VERY good young man... Erh...over eighteen, yes?" "He's twenty."    "OH, good." "Like you said, he's very good. He's not...he doesn't deserve all my shit."    "You will never know, Wade. Not unless you take risk." "..."    "If you try your best, if you let love in, and it is real, then your messy life will work itself out." Wade looked up at Colossus, who then put a caring, large metal hand on his shoulder.   "Maximum effort." "...Okay... Maximum effort." --- When Colossus left, Wade showered and started cleaning up. On the sixth morning after their last conversation, Wade called Peter, but the latter was around other people while in the facility. Not wanting to talk to him in front of anyone, he declined the call, but texted Wade saying "Hang on i'll call in a sec." He went to his room and did as was promised, calling Wade back while sitting on his bed. --- "Hey, Spidey!"        "Hey, Wade." He sounded a little tired, but was kind and open-minded. "What's up?"        "Uhh not much, I was with Tony and Wanda and didn't want to talk in front of them. Just...sitting in my room, now." "Gotcha."        "So...did you want something?" "Aww, you're still upset about the other day," he said with an audible smile. Peter sat up, voice more peppy.       "No, no, I mean I'm not upset, I'm just... It... 'Upset' is just such a harsh word, um... I'm just kinda sad, you know? It's -- I'm still just trying to...make sense of it all, figure out what's...going on in my head." "I understand."        "I'm sorry..." "Why are you sorry?"        "I don't know, I just feel bad, I mean this can't be fun for you, either. I just feel really stuck. And -- I told May, but only because she could tell how down I was." "May is nice."        "She's the best..." "...I miss you, Pete."        "Me too... Ned...rigged his GTA 4 disk to run Carmageddon on the 360." "What?! That's sick as FUCK!"       "Yeah... Maybe sometime we could hang out and play it together. It's really funny..." "I'd like that. Or... I could just come hang out with ya right now!" Peter sat up a little more.       "Oh, Wade, I don't know, I... I think I still need a little more time to process everything. It's -- I'm still not mad or anything, you're still my friend, it's just kinda hard..." "Oh... Well that's too bad, 'cos I'm right outside your window."        "--What??" After Wade's shadow cast onto the wall and got Peter's attention, he quickly looked to the left and saw Wade in the window, waving happily at him before putting the phone back to his ear. Peter tossed his phone down in shock and ran to the window.       "Wade!" He opened the glass pane, shivering at the freezing air.       "What are you doing?!" "Just felt I needed to come by and clear things up with you." After realizing he was talking pointlessly into his phone, Wade shrugged and tossed it.       "Wha--" Peter quickly fired a web at the little computer, snatching it and yanking it into his hand. Wade crawled into Peter's room through the window, and then the latter closed it and handed Wade his phone.       "Why would you throw this??" Wade took his phone back and chuckled. "Ewww, now it has webs on it...!"        "That's better than being broken!" Wade shrugged the snow off his shoulders. He was in full suit with a beanie on his head over his mask, and a fur coat. "Plungers make really good building-climbing tools, did you know that?"        "Eugh, you -- you used plungers to get up here?" "They're all new, it's fine. Well -- except for the one for my right foot, I wouldn't touch that one." Wade slid off his coat and beanie.       "Wade, what are you doing here...?" "I wanted to talk to you about the other day." Peter motioned for him to be quiet, then stepped over and locked his door. Turning back to face him, he kept his voice low, and so his visitor did the same.        "Okay?" "Look... The thing is, I like you, too. A LOT. I've had it bad for you from the start, Petey, but... It's like I said the other day; you're a nice guy, and--"        "Wait, let me just stop you there." He waited.       "I know that you like to sleep around, and that's okay. Some people are romantic, and some people aren't, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not judging you, I think what you do is totally fine." Wade nodded.       "But... I'm still not that guy, you know? I still need those things, I'm -- I want a relationship. It's okay that you don't want that, you don't have to explain yourself. But if this is a request to just...fool around, um... I'm...not game for that, I'm sorry." "...Aww, you're so cute," he said happily before roughing Peter's hair lovingly. Peter stood in blank confusion, having no response to that. "I'm not here because I want to have sex with you. I mean, I'd like to, but not like...right now, I mean like in the future, when we've been seeing each other for a little while."        "..." "When you asked me out, I said no because I didn't think I was right for you. I still don't, honestly, I mean you should really, just...turn around and run while you have the chance. Because I'm about to ask you something, and I don't have a lot of patience, and I might just blurt it, cut and dry."        "Wade, what the hell are you trying to say?" "I'm saying... Will you go out with me...?" Peter stood in total shock, staring blankly at Wade. "......Is that a 'no'? That's probably a wise choice, but I'm gonna...need verbal confirmation. I mean if it's not 'yes,' it's 'no,' because basic principle, but ya know. ...?" He finally blinked and shook his head a little, making an effort to make sure he kept his voice low.        "Okay, wait... You do want to go out with me...?" "Yeah. I've wanted to since like, last June."        "FFFFFFFF-- Wade...?!?!?" "Yeah... Pathetic, I know."        "So why did you say 'no' the other day??" "I told you, because I don't think I'm right for you. I'm super fucked up and you're really nice! You're --"        "Shh...!" He lowered his voice to something of a shouting whisper. "You have your whole life ahead of you to meet fucked up people, you should at least have some normal, healthy relationships first...!"        "Wade, that's up to me to decide, and I know you think you're like the worst person ever, but you're actually really a good guy...!" "Why are we whispering...?!"        "Because if Tony finds out we're even discussing dating he'll throw you to the moon...!" "That would suck...!"        "I know...!" They both stood a little taller, each sighing some and looking off before focusing again. They stopped whispering, but remained quiet.        "So..." "I'm just saying... I've got a lot of baggage, and problems, and a whirlwind of mind shit that falls out of its little shit-filled cabinet whenever it feels like it. I have LOVED being your friend, but I'm..."        "...Yes...?" "...I'm scared of hurting you..." Peter relaxed and took a step towards him.        "You're not gonna hurt me." "You don't know that."        "And you don't know that you will. But if you think that, but you still had the nerve to come tell me how you feel and ask me out..." Wade looked up at him cautiously.       "...Then you must have some sort of faith in it being okay, right?" "..." Peter started to smile.        "What if we just tried it? Why don't we just...date...? And if it doesn't work out, then that's okay. We can just be friends. I mean that's what we were working up to being again anyway, right?" "That's how it would have to be. I can't lose you, Spidey, you mean a lot to me."        "..." "You're like ice on a burn. You have...the BEST heart. I don't wanna hurt it."        "Stuff's gonna hurt me, Wade. That's life, it's okay. If you hurt me, we can get past it." "...You promise?" Peter smiled bigger.        "I promise. Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll hurt you or something, pfft." Peter couldn't see it, but Wade was smiling, too.        "If you're serious, and this isn't you feeling guilty about saying 'no' or asking for a one night stand... I would love to go out with you. PLEASE, let me go out with you." --- And so it was, they secretly began dating. Wade made arrangements to take Peter out that very afternoon. After Wade left through the window, taking his plungers with him, Peter called Ned in a slight panic. He excitedly explained what happened and told him he needed to prepare himself for the date, and they hung up. When it came to Tony, Peter had to keep quiet. Like before, he didn't tell anyone, including May; he just didn't want anyone to know yet. The first date was just spent with the boys wandering around a nice part of the city, discussing how they liked each other and how long each of them have felt it. Wade explained that he was a mess for the days following his rejection of Peter, and that it took Colossus busting into his apartment and yanking him onto his feet to get him to go talk. He also confessed to having slept with a couple of people, including Vanessa, which Peter was more than fine with. But, he emphasized, Wade really needed to look into STI testing just to be safe. The first date didn't end with kissing or anything randy, and Wade still didn't show Peter his face. Instead, they hugged, and Peter drove back home. The dates following were very similar, with food as part of the equation. They even had a "parkour date," where both got in full suit and leaped around the city, showing their abilities to one another for the sheer sport of it. Peter even held Wade and swung around the city with him on his hip. According to Wade, this was terrifying but romantic. By this time, Peter told May and MJ. After a few weeks, Peter and Wade felt relatively steady. Tony and Steve could tell something was different with Peter when it came to Wade, and Tony had his suspicions from the start. Peter knew that Tony could sense something unusual, but he played around it and acted casually. Tony chose to stay quiet about it. During a date one late afternoon when Peter and Wade were on a harbor, in suit, the sun out after a light rain (yes, it must be that specific), Peter pressed a little harder to see Wade's face. He understood why Wade was shy about it, but kindly argued that it was difficult to date someone he'd known for over a year while still not having a clue what he looked like. Feeling that Peter's reaction could really make or break the potential of their relationship, Wade finally conceded and removed the mask. To his surprise, there was no horror or tension, or even the slightest bit of disgust. He looked a little surprised, briefly raising his eyebrows with a blink, and studied him. He said "Wow," and that was about it. Wade started to make jokes about himself, to which Peter put his arms around Wade and told him he wasn't allowed to insult himself whenever he was in the Spiderman's arms. This became a new theme with them. After a minute of talking, and with Wade allowing his new partner to lightly touch his scarred cheeks, he asked if Peter had anymore requests before the mask went back on. ---       "...You could kiss me..." Wade stared at him in light disbelief.        "...Or -- or not, it's totally optional. Just a suggest--" As the cliche stands, Wade kissed him, cutting off his sentence. When he pulled away, Peter was stunned and glowing.        "O-ohhoh... Okay, I-I don't have a lot of reference, but... That was really good..." "I agree." --- Wade put his mask back on, and the two were smitten. A few days after their first kiss, Peter finally sat down with Tony and Steve and came clean about his recent dating situation. Steve didn't love the idea, and Tony hated it, but the former offered support and simply asked that Peter be careful and trust his instincts. Tony was a tad more chilly with his honesty, but when Peter became insecure, he emphasized that he wasn't angry. He just didn't trust Wade on a romantic level, and feared Peter getting hurt. This gave Peter the opportunity to remind Tony that he was a big boy now, and he could handle making his own mistakes, and was willing to face the consequences of his decisions. It ended on a positive note, but Tony couldn't hide the lack of thrill he had over the new relationship. Weeks turned into months, and things when steady. In their time together, Peter got permission from Tony to make his very own original suit. Given how comfortable he was with Wade, and with the relationship also recently going public, Peter felt the desire to start fresh and switch up his look with a lot more blue. For one thing, the blue complimented Deadpool's vast red and helped him stand out.~ That May, when they'd been going out for about three months, Peter started becoming more bold in his physical interest in Wade. He'd been to the merc's apartment several times as well, and had actually managed to convince him to start cleaning the place up and get some new furniture. He wasn't judgmental; he merely worried for Wade's state of mind and the health hazards, insisting that he might feel better and more confident if he lived in better conditions. This conversation brought Wade to inadvertently mention how he was desensitized to the squalor due to being forced to sit in his own waste and vomit for a while when he had gotten ill at the Mutant Factory. This was one of the most serious things Wade brought up right off the bat, but upon seeing Peter's face stricken with shock and concern, he clammed up. Peter assured him that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and that he appreciated Wade talking to him. The conversation helped Wade feel better, much to his shock, and he agreed that it might be good for him to clean up the apartment. So he did just that. It wasn't spectacular, but the improvement was great, and Wade actually found himself wanting better for how he lived. In June, Peter's physical interests were more clear. They'd discussed sex, but Peter was shy, and Wade was never one to push. But finally, while making out one day, Peter came to the conclusion that he was ready to be intimate. They each went home and planned for Peter to go to Wade's. They each wanted to shower and prepare for it first. Peter brought a small bag with a movie and his suit in it (just in case). He told Tony that they were just going to have a movie date. Tony didn't like it, and insisted Peter also take his iron suit (which is tightly compact into a small shape when dormant like the Ironman suit). Peter obeyed, willing to do anything to help Tony feel more comfortable about him being out and about. At Wade's apartment, the pair chilled for a little while, but Wade was eager to show his company how he'd prepared the bedroom. He led Peter to his room, revealing soft pink and orange shaded string lights pinned up around the walls, nice bedding, and an overall sense of warmth. Needless to say, Peter was very impressed, letting Wade know he did not expect this, and didn't require it in the future. But yes, he absolutely loved it, and knew he would have a good time. When they were done, they both fell asleep in Wade's bed. Tony called around 1 in the morning, asking where Peter was. He was a little upset, but nothing Peter couldn't work around. He apologized and said they were both tired from watching the movie and then playing some video games, so Peter crashed on the couch and forgot to tell Tony he was staying the night. After a little back and forth, Peter reassured him that everything was all right and encouraged him to go back to sleep. He promised to come home early in the morning with a box of donuts as an apology. Tony hesitantly agreed, and left him alone. Once more, the next day, Peter made a point to tell Ned about his escapades. The next few times Peter went to Wade's house, he ended up spending the night. And again, he lied his ass off to Tony, saying they just had a new routine of playing video games until they crashed. Tony knew better, and Peter knew that, but neither were willing to give on the subject. By this time, Peter quietly told aunt May that his relationship with Wade was now very serious. She was excited for him, proud and happy and double checked that he was being safe. Embarrassed and a little exasperated, he confirmed this, and just like that May was back in fun mode. She was able to accept that Peter was grown now, and she was glad to try and guide him through this very impressionable period in his life. The morning after Peter's fifth time with Wade, Colossus visited unexpectedly while the boys were still sleeping. Wade got up and addressed him, completely naked, while Peter stayed back and hurriedly put his clothes on before meekly coming out to greet the metal man. He was shy but thrilled to meet the infamous X-Man. After Peter convinced Wade to at least put on some underwear, they all sat down together and had a chat. Colossus was happy to finally meet Spiderman, and when Peter got home, he told his family about how funny it was to wake up and meet Colossus. Later that day, Tony finally pulled Peter aside and broke down, having a serious discussion with him about the relationship. He asked for full honesty on whether they had become physical, and Peter answered honestly. The talk was civil, as Tony loved Peter too much to ever take out any frustration on him, but his concern was clear. He told Peter he respected that, that Peter didn't need to feel bad about it; he was just making sure everything was okay. Not that it was any of his business, but he considered his family to be his business. Peter didn't mind, so long as Tony stayed cool. The Ironman did confirm that Peter understood the fact that he wasn't going to invite Wade to live with them. Peter agreed. When Tony asked if Peter was thinking about living with Wade, the latter said "no." "So what are you gonna do?" Tony asked. Peter told him that he would just keep doing as they had been; dating, hanging out, and if they wanted to have personal time, Peter would go to Wade's. He told Tony he felt he really loved Wade, and was okay with the fact that he was, in Tony's words, "super fucked up." He understood that he wasn't responsible for Wade's mental health, but that he enjoyed helping him through some of his issues. He understood that trauma like this was a long-haul, and he was willing to at least try. After all, everyone he knew was traumatized, himself included. The conversation helped clear the air a lot for the father-and-son pair, and Tony grew a greater respect for the relationship. A week or so after that conversation, Tony ended up having a talk with Wade. The merc shocked him with his raw honesty about his feelings for Peter, revealing his only intention was to be happy with him without weighing him down. He loved him, and he would do anything for him, including whatever he could to please his family. He understood why everyone flocked to shield Peter; he was different, special. It was then that Tony finally saw an ounce of what Peter saw in Wade, and his respect grew. In August, Peter turned 21 and in December, Wade turned 27. In that time frame, Peter began sneaking Wade into his room sometimes to get physical.~ Not long after Wade's birthday, Tony finally came to grips with the reality that Wade wasn't going anywhere. His relationship with Peter was incredibly strong and steady, and despite Peter having his job, his family and friends and Wade, he'd managed to make it all work. They were mature, and mature together, and Tony wanted Peter to have every opportunity possible to make things a little easier. So as a surprise, he told Peter he was going to allow Wade to move into the facility, even though he wasn't being offered any Avenger titles. He even said he didn't mind if Wade and him shared his bedroom, so long as they weren't mindless sex idiots and kept everyone awake all the time. Stunned, Peter was beyond grateful. Together, everyone gathered up and invited Wade to the facility to make the offer. Wade was uncertain at first, asking if they wanted him to be an Avenger. "GOD no," said Sam. Peter informed him that this had no strings attached, and asked if he was ready to move in with him. Wade said yes, and accepted this very unexpected, beautiful birthday present. In being offered to move in, this was the Avengers fully embracing Wade and adopting him into their weird, messed up family. In time, they would learn to see that Wade was in fact, a good man with a big heart, and become used to his mouth. ~~Love Forever After~~ Living together, it was a dream come true. For the first time in Wade's life, things finally seemed to be on a steady path, and he would do anything to keep it that way. He was happy, he wanted to stay happy, and most of all, he wanted to do well for Peter. With them being together (even before Wade had moved in), Peter helped Wade open up about his past and his feelings. He wasn't judgmental, he wasn't off-put by Wade's mannerisms, weirdness, strange coping habits, random emotional moments, nightmares, or even the nastiest of content regarding his past. He just listened and consoled, and even shielded Wade from the harshness of others. With a guy as wonderful as the friendly neighborhood Spiderman, even though he wasn't perfect, Wade had a tough time feeling like he could give back enough. What he didn't tend to understand was Peter already felt Wade did give back. Wade was a passionate, attentive, caring, thorough lover, and exceedingly generous. He did anything and everything he could for Peter. Aside from just being the best mate he could be, he couldn't think of much else, but it was more than enough. Peter needed him, too. And when Peter had problems, his heart was heavy or he had his own traumatic episodes, Wade was there for him. He applied the very things he'd learned from his love and gave back. After some months living with Peter, Wade had his first serious emotional breakdown related to his trauma. Deadpool, Spiderman, Ironman, Scarlet Witch, and War Machine were out on a mission one night. On a rooftop, after the mission was finished and they had regrouped, Peter was wrapping some things up when a casual conversation started between Wade and the others. The Mutant Factory got brought up, which Wade appeared fine with. He joked casually about what he went through, and the others listened. But at a certain point, after making a comment about his torture that initially caused him to laugh, his laughter suddenly turned to tears. At first the others just went along with it, used to Wade's emotional switches at this point and figuring it would be fine. But when the merc's weeps became sobs and he could no longer stand up, everyone finally realized something was wrong. James stood by Wade and Wanda knelt beside him, clueless as to how to help or what exactly was happening. Tony called Peter to their gathering on the rooftop, and when the Spiderman saw his partner in a heavy heap of tears, he sprung into action. Wanda and James backed away to give Peter the space to console him. He was understandably confused and alarmed by the development, but stayed calm. Tony had an idea of what was happening, cluing Peter in with a reminder of how he had suddenly felt okay enough to grieve his uncle when the time came. It clicked; Wade finally felt safe and comfortable enough in his life that his mind was ready to start the healing process. Peter carried Wade away from the group, who let them have their space. He removed his mask, and convinced Wade to let him take his off, and he held him. Wade announced that he didn't understand what was going on and that he couldn't stop, so Peter told him not to stop. He told him that this was a good thing even though it didn't feel like it, and that it wouldn't last forever. After a while, when Wade was calm enough, Peter took him home. He explained to him what he thought was happening. From that point on, Wade was much more prone to having harder breakdowns, but at that point they seemed to happen at more appropriate times. He also had an easier time talking about it, even if it did hurt like all hell. Thankfully, for Wade's sake, his primary trauma response now is sobbing and nightmares. And when it happens, someone is always there to help him. Of course he still has his random weepy moments at weird things, but Peter has always been understanding of that and never judged him. If anything, he only ever helped Wade feel validated. When Peter was 22 and Wade was 28, the Trial of the Gods ensued. This was hard on Wade, and revealed he had a host of dependency issues with Peter. It led to them having a serious but gentle talk, where Peter offered to work with him on easing his mind about the fact that bad things happen, and if anything bad ever happened to Peter, he needed the peace of mind that Wade would take care of himself. Stay clean, healthy, surround himself with his friends, continue to do good things. If not for himself, then for Peter, because he would want that. Wade agreed, even though the conversation was hard. Ultimately, Wade's mind never reached any peace until he went on a mission and secretly killed himself in order to get to The Realm of Silence, Interitus's realm of the dead. After having a quick conversation wherein Wade asked the elk god if he would ever die for good, Interitus told him 'yes.' He said that Wade would not live forever, that his time would come when it was right, and in death he would be with his beloved. This gave Wade all the peace he needed. Someday, Wade and Peter will get married. How, when and under what circumstances remain a mystery. For now, they're just loving life together. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#Marvel #MCU #SpideyPool #Spiderman #Deadpool #Wade Wilson #Peter Parker

[carewyncromwell]

Ficlet: Educational Decree #23

@drinkyoursoupbitch mentioned enjoying Lawyer!Carewyn, so...I decided to write this not-so-quick not-so-little fic drabble, featuring my MC, Carewyn Cromwell, and her Surrogate BBBFF, Bill Weasley. This is set in May 1996, circa the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and right after Voldemort’s return has been fully revealed to the Wizarding World.

One note about Carey’s involvement with the Order -- due to her baggage with Dumbledore and her own inherent pacifism, Carewyn is not an active member of the Order of the Phoenix, at least not in the traditional sense. She does help them in her own way and on her own terms, but Carewyn hasn’t served as any kind of representative for or agent of the organization, fought in any conflicts with Death Eaters, or even attended any Order meetings in person. Most of the aid she’s provided the Order is through leaking intelligence to them through her old friends Tonks and Jae and in going out of her way to serve as legal council to Fudge so she can write and work on cases that she would know well enough to subsequently dismantle at the proper moment. Carewyn has also kept known associates of Dumbledore like the Weasleys and the Hogwarts staff at arm’s length and not spoken to them much at all, so as to not give Fudge reason to question her loyalties or look too deeply at her activities. Therefore Carewyn and Bill -- keeping an eye on the greater good -- have not shared direct correspondence for nearly a year, which has definitely been hard on both of them, as after Rowan’s death, the two have come to see each other as their respective best friend.

~~~~~

The Ministry of Magic may have been in a state of confusion thanks to the revelation of Voldemort’s return -- but no matter how chaotic things were, or how many enchanted memos flew through the air, Bill Weasley was never not going to stick out like a sore thumb.

The ponytailed Cursebreaker towered over many of the employees scrambling around him as he climbed into the lift that led to the other levels. He could feel several side-long glances his way -- no doubt interested in his violet-black leather jacket with silver spiked shoulders and the Peruvian Vipertooth fang earring in his right ear.

‘Maybe I should’ve drank some Polyjuice,’ he thought sheepishly. ‘Come disguised as someone else.’

But he brushed the thought off. As good as it would’ve been to not attract as much attention, he knew he didn’t want to waste time. The Ministry having finally come around to the idea of Voldemort’s return meant that Carewyn presumably no longer had to walk on eggshells and pretend not to know everybody -- and, well, there was a lot to plan. Bill knew Carewyn would want to know everything that had happened, and now that the truth had come out, he wanted to be the one to tell her. If nothing else, Carewyn would definitely prefer a private meeting with him than one with Dumbledore.

“Level Two,” said the cool, serene female voice of the lift as it came to a stop. “Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Auror Offices.”

The cage-like door clattered open, and the employees in the lift came streaming out, fighting with a flood of equal size trying to take their place. Before Bill could climb out himself, however, he noticed a familiar mane of bright pink hair in the crowd of people pushing their way into the lift.

“Tonks!” said Bill.

The Metamorphagus looked up, and her face broke into a huge smile at the sight of him.

“Bill!”

The two exchanged a short hug.

“What in the world are you doing here, mate?” Tonks asked incredulously. “Gonna stick out just a touch in that get-up, aren’t you?”

“I already am sticking out,” Bill laughed. “Is Carewyn in her office?”

Tonks’s face grew a bit more serious.

“No, she’s on Level Nine -- Courtroom Ten. The Wizengamot’s discussing a challenge made to Educational Decree Number 23 -- you know, the one creating the High Inquisitor post? Apparently they summoned Carey as an expert witness.”

“Because she helped Fudge with a draft of that decree,” surmised Bill.

Tonks nodded.

“Well, I’ll go on ahead and find her down there, then,” said Bill.

He sidled back into the lift, and Tonks came up to stand beside him as the cage doors closed and the lift began to move again.

“Wish I could come with you,” said Tonks softly, “but I’ve got a meeting with Remus right after work, I can’t be late.”

Bill cocked his eyebrows amusedly. “A meeting? Do you call all of your romantic rendez-vous’s that, Tonks?”

Tonks’s face darkened in a blush even as her face broke into a huge white grin.

“Oh, don’t tease! It’s for the Order,” she mumbled a bit more shyly.

Bill laughed.

The lift came to a stop.

“Level Eight,” said the cool, serene female voice. “Atrium.”

The doors clanged open, and the mob of employees flooded out. Tonks strode out of the lift too, waving to Bill over her shoulder.

“Say hi to the ‘General’ for me!” she said with a laugh.

Bill waved back, grinning at the reminder of Diego’s old nickname for Carewyn. The Dueling Champion had started calling her that after she and the others started the Circle of Khanna back in the day -- though Diego often punctuated it with modifiers like “brave General” or “kind General.”

The doors closed, and the lift began to descend again. Bill was the only one left inside now, so he could actually stretch a bit without hitting any of the dozen people fencing him in on either side.

‘Carey stayed in Fudge’s good graces this last year so she could sabotage him wherever she could -- keep him from grabbing absolute power, and help us fight You-Know-Who,’ Bill recalled. ‘So she no doubt wrote that draft of the decree with the intention of having it challenged.’

Something rubbed Bill the wrong way, though.

‘The Wizengamot summoned her as a witness, no doubt to defend it...but why would they even bother defending it? Fudge has been proven wrong about You-Know-Who. And why is Carey just an expert witness, when she could have made the challenge herself?’

“Level Nine,” said the cool, serene female voice of the lift as it came to its last stop. “Department of Mysteries.”

The cage door clattered open again, and Bill climbed out.

Level Nine was unique among the floors of the Ministry for its reflective black-tiled walls and ceilings. Bill’s leather boots clapped against the floor with every step, the sound echoing off of every surface down the hall behind him as he walked.

He turned a corner and found Courtroom Ten. Trying to be as quiet as he could, he turned the silver doorknob in the center of the door and inched it open.

“...position was created for the welfare of the students, was it not? To better regulate and enforce the standards for their educators -- the professors put in charge of their care?”

Bill identified Fudge’s blustering voice at once, though it sounded much shakier and more feeble than usual.

“...That was supposed to be its intent, yes.”

‘Carey!’

Bill sidled into the room, settling down into the half-full stands of the courtroom so he could see.

Fudge sat up near the head of the Courtroom’s box seats, spinning his lime green bowler hat in both hands in his lap. The top seat, however, which belonged to the Chief Warlock, was once again occupied by Albus Dumbledore, dressed in embroidered lavender robes and a matching pointed hat. Bill also noticed his younger brother Percy -- as Junior Undersecretary -- sitting in the Head Scribe’s Chair, in the far right corner. Percy, true to form, seemed to be purposefully avoiding Bill’s gaze.

On the floor, a young man with dark hair and a set of white-collared brown pinstripe robes who Bill recognized as ex-Ravenclaw Prefect Chester Davies sat at the prosecution’s table. And sitting in the witness chair at the center of the room, dressed in high-necked, flowing forest green robes and gold star-like earrings, was Carewyn. Her ginger red hair was shorter than Bill remembered it, only reaching her chin, but her lipstick was as ruby red as ever. She had her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders were low, making her appear incredibly uncomfortable.

Bill frowned. He’d never seen Carewyn slouch like that before...

“And -- and there have been...concerns over the years,” Fudge pressed, though he kept glancing anxiously out the side of his eye up at Dumbledore beside him, “letters sent by parents of the students, expressing concerns about...previous staff appointments at Hogwarts, yes?”

“Objection,” said Chester Davies rather coolly. “The witness is here to testify about the legality of the measure, not to give justification for why it was written.”

“Sustained,” said Dumbledore airily.

His light blue eyes drifted down to Fudge, and although they weren’t at all sharp or reproachful, the Minister flinched all the same. Dumbledore then looked down at Carewyn, inclining his head slightly.

“Miss Cromwell...your legal counsel was that there was nothing on the books forbidding the creation of the High Inquisitor position -- is that correct?”

Despite the slight discomfort in her posture, Carewyn kept her eyes solidly on Dumbledore as she spoke.

“Yes, Professor.”

“So in your view, it would not be illegal for the Ministry to influence the way Hogwarts is run -- to circumvent the authority of the school’s own Headmaster?”

“I could find nothing on the books outlawing it,” said Carewyn solemnly. “There is no law forbidding the Ministry from regulating Hogwarts’s educational practices, staff appointments, or lesson plans. However one personally feels about Educational Decree Number 23...”

She inclined her head respectfully to Dumbledore.

“...I would conclude that it was legal.”

Fudge’s face was twitching as if he wanted to smile, but seemed too afraid to when he glanced around at Dumbledore and the rest of the Wizengamot on either side of him, whose faces were all decidedly stony.

Dumbledore’s eyes flickered from Carewyn to Chester Davies at the prosecution table and back. Then he gave Carewyn a short, respectful nod in return.

“Thank you, Miss Cromwell. Mr. Davies -- you may now cross-examine the witness.”

Chester rose to his feet, his shoulders straight back and tall. He strode around the table slowly, but with purpose, his robes billowing slightly behind him as he came up beside Carewyn, his arms folded behind his back. His eyes never rested on anyone in particular -- instead they hovered somewhere in the area of the abandoned far corner of the stands.

“Miss Cromwell,” he said, his voice very cool, “when Fudge first approached you for legal counsel, why did he want the High Inquisitor position created?”

“O-objection!” Fudge stammered. “That’s a prejudicial question!”

“Overruled,” said Dumbledore calmly. “It’s a factual question -- one I’d quite like to know the answer to. Proceed with your answer, Miss Cromwell.”

Carewyn had shifted her gaze over to Chester. Although Chester wasn’t looking at her, she kept her eyes locked on his face.

“...He said...that he wished to keep Dumbledore in check,” she said very quietly.

Both the Wizengamot members and the gallery startled to mumble amongst themselves. Bill noticed a reporter with an uneven light blond haircut and a snake tattoo on his arm in the stands scribbling notes furiously. Even Percy paused in his writing, glancing up at Fudge uneasily. Fudge’s face had flushed the shade of a fine red wine.

Chester’s eyebrows rose. Though he kept his gaze on the abandoned far corner of the stands, quiet confidence rippled off of him as he strolled leisurely to the other side of Carewyn.

“Had Albus Dumbledore been charged with any crime by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?” he asked.

“Objection!” said Fudge again. “Completely irrelevant! We’re discussing the decree, not Dumbledore!”

“Overruled,” said Dumbledore. “Miss Cromwell’s previous answer has linked both you and me to the decree, Cornelius. Proceed, Miss Cromwell.”

“No,” said Carewyn.

“Had Albus Dumbledore been under investigation for a specific crime by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?” asked Chester.

“Objection!” Fudge burst out, sounding both more frustrated and desperate. “This line of questioning is highly inflammatory -- ”

“Overruled,” Dumbledore cut him off very smoothly. “The truth can often be inflammatory. Proceed, Miss Cromwell.”

“No -- though he was placed under Ministry surveillance.”

“Objection!” whimpered Fudge. “We’ll need to cross-examine that claim -- ”

“Overruled. Our examination of the witness is through, and she’s merely stating facts of the case. Proceed, Mr. Davies.”

“And,” said Chester, his voice a bit sharper now, “was the High Inquisitor position filled again, once Dolores Umbridge -- with the passing of Educational Decree Number 28 -- replaced Dumbledore and became Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?”

“Objection!”

“Overruled.”

Carewyn inclined her head slightly, her blue eyes narrowing slightly upon Chester’s face seriously.

“No.”

Chester’s mouth had spread into a small smirk by this point. He’d stopped in front of Carewyn and faced her at last, his dark eyes gleaming with triumph.

“Interesting. So the High Inquisitor position -- which, the Minister has stated for the press was there to ‘keep order’ and ‘address the falling standards at Hogwarts school’ -- was no longer needed as soon as Albus Dumbledore left his position as Headmaster. Even though Headmistress Umbridge would go on to try to forcibly remove Professor Rubeus Hagrid from the Hogwarts grounds -- an attempt that resulted in severe injury for Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall...and even though the Inquisitorial Squad created to assist the High Inquisitor had not been disbanded and was actually given more authority after the fact...the position of High Inquisitor no longer needed to be filled. No further effort was needed to regulate Hogwarts’s educational practices. Once Dumbledore was gone, so too was the need for the position...and therefore the decree.”

Fudge’s flushed face had turned a dark purple.

“Objection!” he squeaked.

“Overruled,” Dumbledore said very quietly, but very firmly.

“Regulation is legal,” Chester plowed on, pacing slowly across the room without looking anyone in the eye, “as long as it’s consistent. There can be no singling out of individual citizens, particularly when it’s not in the pursuit of legal action. Regardless of the Minister’s distrust of him, Dumbledore had not been charged with and was not under investigation for a specific crime...so there would’ve been no probable cause for his personal activities to be regulated. Regulating educational policy, therefore, would only be legal as long as the regulation was consistent across the board -- if the High Inquisitor position both regulated Albus Dumbledore and Dolores Umbridge’s decisions as Head of Hogwarts school.”

“Object -- ”

“Overruled.”

“And so,” said Chester more fiercely, his gaze flashing up at Fudge with visible reproach, “the High Inquisitor position, and the decree that spawned it, was created for the express purpose of silencing political dissidents...namely one in particular -- Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.”

Chester then turned to Carewyn, his expression becoming much less harsh but no less severe.

“Would that be legal, in your opinion, Miss Cromwell?”

Carewyn stared Chester straight in the eye. Neither one of them blinked.

“No,” said Carewyn at last, very firmly. “The targeting of a private citizen with no legal justification would violate multiple laws, including the Third Clause of the Wizard’s Code of Civil Rights.”

Fudge’s face had lost most of its color, blanching to an ill grayish-white. The corners of Dumbledore’s mouth turned up in a very tiny, dewy smile.

Chester’s eyes narrowed slightly upon Carewyn’s face, almost softening.

“Thank you, Miss Cromwell. No further questions.”

Carewyn got to her feet. She looked like she wanted to say something to Chester, but decided against it and simply nodded, heading back up into the stands. She noticed Bill sitting in the rows, but did not move to greet him, instead taking a seat in the row behind the prosecutor’s table, away from the rest of the spectators.

Chester turned fully around to face the Wizengamot, unfolding his arms from behind his back at last.

“Members of the Wizengamot,” he said lowly, “I do not make this case with any desire to achieve political points. If nothing else...the danger we now find ourselves in makes it imperative that we set aside political squabbling. Whatever one’s opinion is of the Minister of Magic or his legislation...”

He shot a side-long glance at Fudge, as did many other members of the Court.

“...this is not the time for retaliation, but for justice. Educational Decree Number 23 was illegal both in its creation and especially in its execution -- and so it must be expunged forever from the law, and we must act to ensure that nothing like it ever is created again. This decision must be so universal that it sets a precedent -- one that, unlike the one this decree set, is one that evokes positive change. Hogwarts doesn’t need ‘regulation’ now -- it needs protection. We all need protection. So vote with your conscience. End this chapter of Ministry ineptitude and in-fighting...and start a new one, having made up for the mistakes we’ve made.”

Chester glanced at Fudge one more time, this time meeting his eyes. The Minister looked away uncomfortably. The young attorney then inclined his head respectfully to the rest of the court.

“Thank you.”

He took his seat at the prosecution table. The room was silent for a moment, before Dumbledore addressed the court.

“All those in favor of the decree being upheld?”

No one moved. Not a single member of the Wizengamot raised their hand -- not even Fudge, who kept his eyes locked on the bowler hat clutched in his trembling hands.

The reaction was so stunning that the spectators in the gallery began to whisper among themselves. The tattooed reporter in the stands scribbled some more notes furiously.

“All those in favor of overturning the decree and -- by extension -- declaring it illegal under Wizarding Law?” said Dumbledore.

A sea of hands rose into the air. Fudge did not raise his hand -- he’d clearly decided to withhold his vote -- but he for once remained completely silent, his entire posture shrinking visibly in his seat.

“Then we are decided,” declared Dumbledore, a pleased twinkle in his light blue eyes. “Educational Decree Number 23 is abolished. Court is adjourned.”

He lightly tapped the gavel twice on the table in front of him. Everyone started bustling around to leave the Courtroom, including Carewyn and Chester, who left together. Bill hurried to catch up with them, even as the crowd of spectators devolved around him.

He finally caught up with them as they climbed into the lift.

“Carewyn!”

Carewyn and Chester turned around. Their eyes both lit up in recognition.

“...Bill,” said Carewyn, visibly taken aback. She glanced at Chester out the side of her eye very quickly before asking, “What are you doing here?”

Bill came to stop next to them in the lift, a smile prickling at his features. “I heard the Wizengamot had summoned you, so I thought I’d pop down and watch the court proceedings...going up, I suppose?” he added lightly, “Allow me.”

He punched the button for Level Two.

“Glad I did too,” Bill continued casually as the gate-like doors closed. “That was quite a case!”

Carewyn leaned back against the side of the lift, crossing her arms.

“...Yes, it was. A foregone conclusion, some would say, given Fudge’s current level of popularity -- but the law isn’t supposed to be a popularity contest.”

“True,” said Chester. “Just because Fudge was cruel in how he targeted his political rivals doesn’t mean we have to be.”

Bill’s gaze slid over to Chester.

“...I didn’t know you were an attorney now, Chester. I haven’t seen you since...”

“...I left school -- I know,” finished Chester with a polite smile. “I’m rather new to it, actually. I only started practicing last month.”

“I was the one who suggested Chester take the case,” Carewyn added, also smiling slightly.

“I hope you were pleased with the result,” Chester shot back with a wry smile.

“It did turn out the way we hoped, anyway. Though I would’ve preferred if our roles had been switched.”

“We can’t all be on the winning side of things.”

The lift came to a stop.

“Level Two,” said the cool female voice again. “Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Auror Offices.”

The three climbed out.

“Oh, Carewyn, before I forget,” said Chester, “I left some paperwork for you in my office -- I thought it might be useful, for your next case.”

“Thank you,” said Carewyn, “I’ll go and fetch it.”

“I have to be heading out myself...could I steal a bottle of pop from your office, before I go?”

“Of course. I left the file I borrowed in my right desk drawer too.”

“Much obliged.”

The exchange was very quick and clipped, and yet there was something almost pointed in the glances they shared -- as if they were saying something else entirely that only they knew.

Carewyn headed off down the hall, presumably toward Chester’s office. Chester strolled down to the first door on the right, which led to Carewyn’s office, and opened it, glancing over his shoulder at Bill.

“Do you want to wait here until Carewyn comes back?” he asked politely. “It should only take a few minutes.”

“Yes, I would,” said Bill.

Bill followed Chester into the office, and the attorney closed the door behind both of them.

Carewyn’s office was unusual among the Ministry of Magic’s offices in how charming and remarkably pretty it was. It was very tiny, incredibly organized, and impeccably decorated, with mint-green painted walls and a charmed skylight that showed the image of the London street above them, including the passing feet of the Muggles presumably walking overhead. It also included several Muggle appliances, such as a waffle-maker and a tiny fridge -- Carewyn had said in her letters that she and her coworkers often worked late nights, so sometimes Talbott, Tonks, or Ben (who were Aurors and a Hitwizard respectively) would pop in for a before-dawn breakfast after one of their assignments.

Chester sat down in the wheeled office chair (another unique Muggle item) and rolled it over to the fridge behind the black desk. He opened it, pushing aside the items inside to reach the very back.

“Can I get you some orangeade, perhaps?” asked Chester casually. “Carewyn always keeps a bottle or two in stock.”

Bill smiled broadly. “Of course. You know it’s my favorite, Carey.”

Chester -- or rather, Carewyn, in disguise as Chester -- took out a bottle of orangeade, her face breaking into a broad smile and her dark eyes sparkling, as she opened the bottle and handed it to Bill.

“When did you figure it out?” she asked.

“Back in the courtroom,” said Bill. “You’ve never slouched like that when you were uncomfortable. You used to shrink a bit, when you were younger...but you always look away when you’re the least bit uncomfortable. You don’t keep eye contact like that. Then you started talking, and...”

Bill grinned.

“...even though it was Chester’s voice, I could still hear you in there.”

Carewyn grinned broadly. She rolled the chair around so she could fetch a can of Vimto Cola for herself. She opened it with a click and took a sip.

“It’ll only take a few minutes before I turn back into myself again,” she said. “The case went on a bit longer than I expected -- I had to cut my closing arguments short, if I didn’t want to quickly rush back to the prosecution bench and drink some ‘water.’”

“Yet you still won everyone over,” said Bill as he lowered the soda bottle from his lips. “Well, except for Fudge, but...none of us expected to win him over.”

Carewyn sighed. “True. I’m glad he had the decency to step aside at least. He clearly saw there was no point in wasting his vote -- it would only make him look worse politically, to be the only one standing up for his decree.”

“Do you reckon he’ll resign?”

“I’m positive. This trial broke him a bit, I think. It really gave him a good look at how much he’s destroyed his reputation forever.”

Carewyn took another sip. Bill considered her for a moment, his eyes lingering on Chester’s dark hair.

“I have to ask, though, Carey...why did you do it? Why didn’t you just challenge the decree yourself? Why replace Chester?”

Carewyn bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes drifting away as she placed her soda can down on her desk.

“The Prophet’ll be going on about Chester taking down the decree,” said Bill, sounding almost disappointed. “He’ll be getting praise for what you did.”

“And that’ll help him get more cases in the future,” Carewyn said simply. “I need more allies in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement -- good lawyers who won’t cow to people like Fudge. And if I was in the witness chair instead, I could appear as a neutral observer -- so when I invariably sided with the prosecution, I could bring the case for the Decree crashing down.”

“But you weren’t in the witness chair. Chester was.”

“Yes. I actually gave Chester a file that he could use in the case, while I sat back...but he refused. He said that I deserved to present my case in front of a jury, after how much work I did. So after a lot of coaxing, we decided I would present my case -- disguised as Chester.”

“So you did all this just to help Chester with his career?”

Carewyn’s eyes lingered on the bookshelf in the corner.

“Not entirely,” she admitted.

She clearly seemed to regret that her decision wasn’t solely based on that kind of selfless rationale. She rested her hands on her desk, interlacing the larger fingers belonging to Chester.

“Even if Fudge is no longer in power, the Ministry’s still packed to the gills with his supporters, as well as people who were willing to just scrape and grovel at his feet. It’s safer for me to interact with you all now, but I can’t afford to lose my stable position just yet -- the truth’s come out, but the Ministry isn’t any less treacherous. Dolores Umbridge hasn’t even lost her job here, even after everything she’s done as High Inquisitor. On the contrary...there are rumors circulating she might even return to being Senior Under-Secretary in the future.”

Bill was aghast. “What?”

Carewyn looked just as displeased. “I’m angry too...but there’s nothing I can do. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement can’t charge her with a crime even if the decree making her High Inquisitor has been declared illegal, since she was merely appointed to the position. She had no hand in creating it...at least none that I can prove in a court of law. She’s been put on temporary administrative leave...but that can be overturned by the Minister for Magic. Fudge probably won’t stick around long, and he probably wouldn’t bring Umbridge back for fear of damaging himself further...but I wouldn’t put it past his successor to quietly put Umbridge back in her old post, given her experience as a ‘loyal subordinate.’”

Carewyn could not disguise her clear disgust with the situation, even despite the coolness of her voice and expression.

“I hate that woman,” she said very lowly and coldly. “I hate her with every fiber of my being.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed as he nodded. “I know how you feel. After everything Harry’s told us about her, it’s clear she’s an absolutely horrid person.”

Carewyn looked up, her eyebrows knitting together. “Yes...how is Harry? I heard he was here at the Ministry, when...”

She trailed off, but Bill knew what she meant.

“He’s doing as well as to be expected, from what Ron’s said in his letters. Though I suspect the loss of Sirius is probably hitting him very hard.”

Carewyn bowed her head. “...Yes, of course. He...was his only family left, wasn’t he?”

Bill nodded. Carewyn closed her eyes sadly -- even if she had yet to meet Harry, it was clear she felt very deeply for him, in that moment.

Bill reached a hand out over the desk and took Carewyn’s hand (which of course at the moment was Chester’s), offering her a smile.

“He’s still got all of us, though,” he said reassuringly. “And well...I reckon the two of us know better than anyone how friends can become family.”

Carewyn’s expression softened noticeably. She gave Bill’s hand a tight squeeze.

“We do.”

Her eyes welled up with emotion despite the calm of her face.

“Bill...it’s so good to see you,” she said very quietly.

Her voice betrayed emotions that she never would’ve felt brave enough to show in school. Despite the levelness of her tone, it was so warm and soft -- full of sincere caring.

Bill’s eyes filled up with some tears as he squeezed her hand back.

And as Bill held her gaze, he noticed her eyes changing color -- lightening from a dark brown to a pretty blue.

“Guess it’s time,” he prompted her. “Do you need to change?”

“I suppose so,” Carewyn said dryly. “Chester doesn’t have hips like mine...I reckon I might tear his pants, if I don’t. Mind turning around a minute?”

“No problem.”

Bill turned in the chair so that his long legs were propped up on the arm, resting an arm on his knee so that he could then proceed to lean his chin on his hand and glance away. He heard Carewyn murmur, “Auravelum,” under her breath, presumably to obscure her desk from sight.

There was a lot of shuffling. After a couple of minutes, Carewyn murmured, “Evanesco,” and Bill looked up as the silvery blue curtain she’d conjured vanished.

And there she was -- dressed in flowing forest green robes just like the ones Chester had been wearing while disguised as her, and grinning broadly up at him through a ruby red smile.

Bill’s face broke into a larger grin, his brown eyes sparkling at the sight of his best friend. He got up, swept around the desk, and snatched her up in a huge hug.

The two of them were a funny sight -- a gangling, leather-dressed Cursebreaker with a fang earring and a ponytail hugging a tiny, lady-like witch with makeup and conservative dress robes -- but they clung to each other with an almost fierce kind of affection, laughing happily.

“I have so much to tell you,” murmured Bill. “I hardly know where to start...”

Carewyn’s lips spread into a smile even as her own eyes welled up with tears. “I don’t have as much to tell, I’m sure, but...I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too,” said Bill. “Not being able to write, or visit -- having to just stay in touch through Tonks and Jae -- ”

“ -- and for a whole year,” Carewyn agreed. “I know.”

She reached up as high as she could, even going on her tiptoes, so she could hold the back of Bill’s head. Bill held the back of her head too, squeezing her tight.

“Are you really engaged now?” asked Carewyn curiously.

Bill was a bit startled. He smiled a bit sheepishly over Carewyn’s shoulder.

“Oh, ah...yeah. You heard about that?”

“No,” said Carewyn uncomfortably. “I...sort of sensed it. In your thoughts.”

Bill pulled away to look at her better, a bit affronted. “Carey!”

Carewyn looked very apologetic as her gaze drifted down to rest on Bill’s shoulder rather than his face.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t actively using my Legilimency, it’s just...gotten so sensitive now, in this line of work. And I suppose it was one of those things you really wanted to tell me, because I kept seeing you holding a ring, and...well, you asked me to be more open with you, about things.”

Bill’s face was flushed slightly, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling wryly.

“...So I did. Kind of took some of the wind out of my sails, though.”

Carewyn shot him a cool look through her own light blush. “I’m sure you’ll get back at me for it at some point.”

“Rest assured I will,” said Bill with a grin. “Maybe at the wedding.”

Carewyn blinked in surprise. Then her eyes widened, softening visibly.

“...Are you inviting me?”

“Of course I am!” Bill laughed. “There’s no way in Hell I’m going to let you get away with not being part of it. Actually...”

Bill’s face flushed a bit and he brought a hand up to rub his neck self-consciously.

“...I was...wondering if you’d maybe...if you wanted to...if you’d sing something, for it.”

Carewyn’s eyes widened. “Sing at your wedding?”

“Something for our first dance,” mumbled Bill, smiling shyly through his darkening flush. “Would you?”

Carewyn covered her mouth with both hands, trying to hold in her emotions.

“Of course!” she breathed, her voice oddly high in her throat. Clearly she was very touched.

She quickly grabbed both of Bill’s hands in hers, her blue eyes shining.

“Of course I’ll sing for you...both of you.”

Bill’s flushed face was as bright as a sunrise as he beamed.

“You can pick the song,” he said, his smile becoming a bit more cheeky. “Even something stupid, if you want.”

Carewyn laughed behind her hand. “No way! I am not going to sing something stupid for my best friend’s wedding!”

“Aw...but ‘Agadoo’ is a real jam, isn’t it?”

“It’s complete and utter rubbish and you know it, William Weasley.”

#*rolling over on the floor squealing like an idiot fangirl* #I love these two and their friendship so much I can't #they love each other so much and just gaaaaaaahhhh #they did used to have the 'big brother little sister' dynamic but as they've gotten older they've really become true equals #best friends forever #and just gah #also yes I purposefully didn't say who bill's fiancee was #in canon it's fleur of course #but it coooouuuulllld also be jules #*smirks at jules farrier* >:) #I loved every second writing this #even if it got so long XD #bill weasley #carewyn cromwell #chester davies #my writing #hphm #hogwarts mystery #fanfiction #jacob's sibling #albus dumbledore #cornelius fudge

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

#thou canst not then be false to any man #ask game #invictusmaneo #to write and read comes by nature

[imagitory]

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker review [SPOILERS]

Hey, everybody! So I just got back from seeing the newest Star Wars and...whew, am I tired!

For those of you who want a spoiler-free review, I’ll just say that there’s a reason people are so split about this movie. In some ways, I could argue that TRoS is trying to be its own stand-alone thing, and it does so by shoving in way too many plot beats and new characters without enough development or even a satisfactory conclusion for them...and yet at the same time, it tries so hard to evoke the original trilogy like The Force Awakens did, whether through iconography, cameos, or other kinds of fanservice. To put it very simply, if you disliked The Last Jedi, you might come out enjoying this more, since this movie and its director clearly shared your view, but even if The Last Jedi is a flawed film, I feel it still ended up having better direction, character arcs, and storytelling than this film did.

For those of you who don’t fear spoilers...journey on.

The Good!

+Just like in the other installments in this new trilogy, there were some great action moments. I liked when Kylo and Rey were fighting over the First Order ship with the Force, pulling it back and forth like they had previously done with Anakin’s lightsaber. Poe’s lightspace jumping in the Millennium Falcon was a cool trick, and I actually really enjoyed the short suspenseful bit with Poe, Finn, Rey, and the droids sneaking around in the wintry planet Kijimi, too.

+The trick at the end where Rey passed Kylo Anakin’s lightsaber through the Force and the two battled side-by-side while in different locations was neat. I might’ve liked to see that trick used differently (see below), but it was still really cool.

+Poe and Finn were acting like SUCH boyfriends during this entire movie. I don’t care how much “NO HOMO” J.J. tried to slap on these guys in the script (and I’ll discuss that in a minute), these two were friggin’ boyfriends and that was canon, end of story.

+I liked that Leia was able to mentor Rey, and Leia’s death was appropriately sad. It felt like I was mourning Carrie all over again, especially since we’re so close to the anniversary of her death.

+It was kind of cool to see Luke’s old X-Wing again. I might’ve had it reappear in a different way, but it was still cool.

+Rey hearing all of the Jedi in her head for the first time when she was facing Palpatine at the end was great. I might’ve pushed it further and made it more visually interesting, but I’ll get to that in the more negative section.

+For all of the rather unnecessary fanservice, there were a few music cues that really worked -- namely, the Imperial March echo when Rey arrived in the old throne room on the Death Star, Leia’s theme upon her death, and the Jedi theme when Poe saw the fleet of reinforcements arriving.

The Not-So-Good...

+The Reylo-ness of it all. *dodges knives* OKAY. LISTEN --

If you’re a Reylo shipper, then good for you. I mean that sincerely. But I’m sorry, I am convinced that this ending could only have been satisfying to you if you were on the Reylo ship from the very start due to your own personal shipping preferences, because there is NOTHING in the films that justifies the powerful emotional bond that these two supposedly share. Rey and Kylo only met two movies ago, and in both movies, Kylo showed no interest in improving himself and being a better person. None. I don’t care if Rey “sensed” goodness in him -- that is a terrible, weak short-cut for a writer to use, to tell us that Kylo is good without showing it to us. We still see him slaughter people en masse in the very first scene of this movie. We still see him trying to force Rey to join him, even if it puts the people she cares about in danger. We still see him hooking up with Palpatine -- FRIGGIN’ PALPATINE -- after he’d only just rid himself of Snoke. I don’t care if Kylo thinks he can get rid of Palpatine like he did with Snoke -- I don’t care if he’s conflicted and worried about Rey -- we the audience see no evidence that Kylo has truly changed his ways and is worth saving. Leia SACRIFICED HER LIFE to try to help him -- for what?? I know she’s his mother, but I’m sorry, Leia: if your husband couldn’t save your son from himself, why would you be able to? Why didn’t you almost dying in The Last Jedi not affect your son more, if he really cared? Why was calling his name all you had to do? Why didn’t you do that before he started killing all these people? Because it wasn’t dramatically convenient? Because he was fighting Rey at that exact moment and the writers needed to find a way to end that action scene that otherwise could’ve ended with either Rey or Kylo dying? And I’m sorry, but this whole storyline resulted in the one thing I’d dreaded more than anything would happen in a story that shipped these two -- Rey became a tool to Kylo’s redemption. Rather than standing apart as someone with no legacy who builds her own through being a good, noble person, she became defined by her familial and romantic relationships more than she was by her actions. I know Rey ended up defeating Palpatine in the end, but most of her screentime still ended up devoted to her “bond” with Kylo Ren and showed how her love brought him back to the Light. Because seriously, screw the love Kylo’s parents showed him, or Luke showed him -- all they did was sacrifice themselves trying to help him while also standing by their morals and never being tempted to fall like Kylo did -- no, only Rey could’ve brought him back to the side of Good.

And before any of you even try to wave the Sith Lord of my Heart, Darth Vader, in my face, as Snoke said in The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren is no Vader. Vader was tethered to the Empire and to the Emperor, thanks to the injuries he sustained on Mustafar that left him trapped inside his mechanical suit -- if he’d left the Empire, he would’ve died, and on top of all that, he’d already lost his entire family and turned everyone he’d ever cared about -- who were all Jedi -- against him by falling to the Dark Side. Vader had been Anakin -- a slave who was bought out of enslavement by the Jedi, who then turned around and taught him to -- to borrow a phrase -- “conceal, don’t feel,” even if it meant turning a blind eye to the death of his wife and unborn child. Kylo Ren turned to the Dark Side because...honestly? WE NEVER GET A GOOD ANSWER. The best I can get from the films is that Kylo Ren was manipulated by Snoke, who went on and on about how powerful Kylo was and how he should use that power to “bring order to the galaxy” and stuff like that, and then one night Luke held a lit lightsaber over his head for a minute. That justifies falling to the Dark Side and slaughtering all the wittle Jedi? No! And yet Kylo never once has to grapple with what he did -- he never has to make amends. He’s just forgiven, like that! And although Vader likewise never got the chance to make amends, his sacrifice means more than Kylo’s because Vader, through his sacrifice, finally learned the true meaning of love after an entire lifetime of knowing so little of it. The only people who had ever loved Anakin either died or left him -- Kylo always had people who were willing to forgive him, and he spat in their faces. Vader had no one, until his son discovered who he was and tried to reach out to him. And when he reached out, Vader didn’t stab him through the chest or immediately brand him with the murder of his evil master -- Vader followed orders and brought Luke before the Emperor, yes, but when Luke was about to die, Vader saved him.

Kylo Ren’s story could not and SHOULD NOT be Vader’s story, so giving him the same ending is completely unjustified and mismatched with the story being told. Even if the story of a girl and a guy saving each other with “the power of love” was somehow equal in emotional resonance to that of a son trying to reconnect with his father and his father sacrificing his life to save him, that story of a guy and a girl was not built up properly, as we never get much backstory about why Kylo fell, much action on his part to acknowledge his mistakes, or rationale for why we should care about him despite what a terrible person he was and still is. He cares about Rey -- great! Does he care about the Resistance? Leia? Luke? Han? Lando? Chewie? ANYBODY excluding himself and Rey? Han as a Force Ghost at one point suggests that Leia will never die as long as they remember what she stood for -- since when is that something KYLO REN ever cared about?! Leia DESPISED the Empire and Darth Vader, and yet Kylo Ren and the First Order have done nothing but wrap themselves up in their rhetoric and iconography!

On that note, though, I will acknowledge that Kylo Ren, as a character, has always given me certain troubling real-world-like vibes, and that may be part of the reason why it really infuriates me that the movie tried to redeem him. Kylo Ren is a privileged young man from a respected, powerful family who embraces and romanticizes the atrocities of a previous generation, resents others (rather appropriately, a young woman and black man with no greatness in their family names) for taking what should be “rightfully his,” and vows to bring things back to when that previous evil institution was in its full glory -- isn’t that exactly what modern alt-right Neo-Nazi types do? Romanticize the Third Reich and the Klan and wrap themselves up in their supposed “glory,” while being nothing but a pale, pathetic, anger-driven imitation? Even if you don’t personally see Kylo the same way I do, I hope you will at least respect that -- given this lens I see the character through -- it makes sense why I dislike any attempt to give this character sympathy.

+ *inhales heavily* ...Rey...is a Palpatine. *groans in aggravation* J.J., ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Did you not get why Rian Johnson made Rey’s backstory the way he did, or were you just so in-line with anti-TLJ fans that you wanted to spit in his face in film-form? I know a lot of people were pissed off when Rey was determined to be a “nobody” after what felt like hints of a more developed backstory in TFA, but I seriously can’t help but think that those people missed the point. Rey being a nobody and yet being talented in the Force fixed the whole problem brought up by the Midiclorians in the prequel trilogy -- namely, the thought that you can only be born special, because of your genes. With Rey not being a Kenobi, or a Skywalker, or a Palpatine, it says, “Yes -- you don’t need to have been born special. Anyone can tap into the Force, because it is everything, as are we.” This is even why it’s hinted in previous movies (and once or twice in this movie, though it doesn’t go anywhere) that Finn is Force-sensitive -- Finn, a ex-Stormtrooper! But by turning Rey into a Palpatine all along, J.J. has once again made the Force only something that a select few can tap into -- only special people can have the power needed to stand up to evil. Sure, ordinary people like Poe and Finn can blow things up, but only special people like the Skywalkers and the Palpatines can stop the Sith from destroying the entire rebellion. Instead of this being a story about a girl who had no legacy and yet earned the title of heir to the Skywalker legacy purely through her noble heart and selfless deeds, this became a story of two people -- one from a good family and one from an evil family -- having to come together to deal with their family drama and save the galaxy. Maybe some people wanted to see that from the start, but frankly I didn’t, and even if that story could’ve been told well, it was not the story that we were set up to watch, after we saw The Last Jedi. It also irritates me because of how much the film tries to play Rey’s parents SELLING HER ON JAKKU as them “saving her” from Palpatine. I call BULL. Even Luke was only “saved” from Vader by being given to relatives on a backwater planet -- Rey’s parents ABANDONED her. If you thought that Frozen 2 retconning Elsa and Anna’s parents’ attitudes toward Elsa’s magic was problematic, whoa, boy, have a gander at this. (I actually kind of like Agnarr and Iduna as individual characters in Frozen 2, but I actively have to distance Frozen from its sequel because of canon discrepancies like this.) Rey’s parents didn’t need to have a “good reason” for dropping her off on Jakku -- this film even acknowledges that Rey’s real family is the family she found: Finn, Poe, BB-8, Chewie, Leia, and the Resistance. Rey’s parents could’ve been assholes. Many people’s parents are assholes. Rey is not their child anymore: she is a Skywalker, and that’s all that matters.

+Oh yeah, and speaking of The Last Jedi, NOTHING matches up in this. J.J. literally wrote two complete movies and shoved them together in this one in a vain attempt to completely retcon the last film. Poe earning back his position in the rebellion after learning a lesson about not always barreling into danger without thinking? His character arc has vanished and he shows no more talent for strategy or leadership than he did before. Rey only seeing herself when she was looking for her family? Nope, turns out she was a Palpatine all along: the Force was just trolling her, I guess. Kylo accusing Rey of killing Snoke? Doesn’t come up at all. The young boy using the Force to pick up the broom? Never appears. The signal sent across the galaxy asking for help? Poe says half-way through the movie that nobody came, so it may as well have never happened. Rose and Finn? No mention of the kiss on Krait or anything -- they act like they barely know each other, and Rose has almost no screentime. Even Lando’s return, which should’ve been great, happens when he appears on this random India-like desert planet -- why was he there? Why does he no longer live in Cloud City? Wasn’t he its leader? Wouldn’t he have better fit in a planet like Canto Bight, one that was glitzy and kind of seedy, instead of a pastoral place like that? It’s like reading the first six books in the Harry Potter series, only to end on a version of Deathly Hallows where -- surprise! -- Hermione was actually a pureblood witch all along and she’s actually related to the Lestranges and also Hagrid pops up in Godric’s Hollow to save Hermione and Harry from Nagini for no reason at all, plus Ginny is just a side character now and the author seems to want you to think Harry likes Hermione even if Ron and Harry totally have more chemistry but NO HOMO YOU GUYS COME ON.

+Hahaha, on that note, WOW, have I never seen a film more desperate to try to prove to its audience that its two male main characters are not totally boyfriends. Even though J.J. decided to placate angry fanboys by rather unfairly marginalizing Rose Tico (come on, she may not have been written the best in Last Jedi, but you’re not going to fix that by IGNORING HER ALL TOGETHER), he still thought it best to introduce two new female characters, Zorii and Jannah, who both could’ve been very interesting if they’d had their proper amount of screentime and development, but instead only serve to be substitute “love interests” for Poe and Finn. That might sound harsh, but they literally have no other substantial relationships that get explored in this movie outside of the ones with their respective “guy.” It felt like the film was going, “Look -- Poe’s not gay! He’s got history with this chick, and he gives her a look at the end! And look -- Finn’s not gay! He might’ve been trying to confess his feelings to Rey which totally made his not-boyfriend uber jealous BUT THEY’RE NOT GAY YOU GAIS, and he’s doing stuff with this girl, who was also a Stormtrooper!” Sorry, film, but methinks you doth protest too much. (Even Poe’s actor Oscar Isaac apparently thinks so.)

+Another theme from The Last Jedi that I loved and J.J. clearly didn’t is that the dichotomy between “Jedi” and “Sith” doesn’t inherently equate “good” vs. “evil,” and therefore just because the Sith are evil, it doesn’t mean that the Jedi -- who preached detachment from all affectionate emotions and familial ties -- were right. Even the Resistance is flawed. It’s actually something the prequels and the Clone Wars TV show preach too, and it brings so much more grayness to the Star Wars mythos. In The Rise of Skywalker, however, the Jedi and the Resistance are just seen as the good guys, period, end of story. Who cares if it results in your story being shockingly simplistic and oddly shallow, when compared to the rest of the Star Wars universe?

+The treatment of the Stormtroopers in this movie was actually kind of infuriating. We consistently get reminders about how the First Order’s Stormtroopers were child soldiers who were stolen from their homes and brainwashed, as evident by both Finn and Jannah, and yet throughout the entire movie, they still get cut down in the hundreds without care. Even Finn -- an ex-Stormtrooper himself -- shoots them up like they’re NPCs in a video game! For a film trilogy that did something so powerful by showing the humanity underneath the white helmet, we sure got a film that didn’t give a shit about these people unless they had their helmets off.

+Speaking of the First Order, I saw the Hux-as-the-traitor “twist” coming and I hated finding out that I was right. Honestly it could’ve been played very interestingly if Hux maybe tried to overthrow Kylo and take over the First Order himself, therefore showing how Kylo’s fear-stoking and hatred don’t bring out any loyalty in his followers, but it only results in Hux immediately getting axed off and replaced with another First Order officer we’ve never seen in any of the previous films and therefore don’t care about. Why couldn’t we have reused D.J. the hacker from the previous movie as the spy, or better yet, have the “spy” actually be Kylo, leaking information that he thinks might coax Rey to the Dark Side? The last two films built Hux up as an interesting character, but he was tossed out even more unceremoniously than Commodore Norrington was in the Pirates films.

+This problem of “replacing one antagonist with another out of the blue” is replicated on a large scale with the return of Palpatine. This entire film series has been centered on Kylo Ren and the First Order, but all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we’re just expected to turn all of our focus onto Palpatine and the Knights of Ren, both of whom have had no bearing on the story previously. It could’ve been cool to learn more about the Knights of Ren, but we don’t learn anything about them -- we just see them suddenly being there, when they’d never been there previously. As for Palpatine...did we REALLY need him brought back? Really? The First Order was a threat because they’d wrapped themselves up in their romanticized, false view of the Empire -- that was a choice they made. It didn’t have to be because Palpatine was secretly alive all along and was pulling the strings -- people can do things of their own accord, without a grand, evil mastermind coming back from the dead out of nowhere. Kylo Ren finally got out from under Snoke’s shadow in The Last Jedi and I was so excited to see him come into his own as a villain, but instead all he did was skirt around the coat-tails of Palpatine the entire movie, and it was really disappointing. I WANTED a final confrontation between Kylo and Rey in the climax, like the films had been building up to -- instead all we got was a half-baked “redemption” for Kylo where he teams up with Rey to fight somebody else who just wandered into the story out of nowhere. Even Palpatine’s plot didn’t make any sense -- he tells Kylo for the first half of the movie that they need to kill Rey even though Kylo really wants her to turn to the Dark Side instead, only for Palpatine to (I guess) change his mind at the last minute when Rey arrives in his lair, and yet they play it off as him having planned for that to happen all along because he needs Rey to kill him so she can become one with him and all of the other Sith -- look, I know Palpatine’s whole characterization is hinged on him being a criminal mastermind, but all I want is some consistency! How are we supposed to know what the threat is if we don’t know what our villains want?

+“The Force” is used to rationalize a lot in this movie, from where Rey decides to walk to what plot devices our heroes will need later to why our characters do what they do. Even Finn, who in The Force Awakens accented that he made a choice to break away from the First Order because he saw what he was doing was wrong, now apparently believes that the Force decided that he should join up with Poe and Rey...and I just don’t like that, let alone buy it. The Force was never equivalent to “destiny” -- yes, Anakin was the Chosen One, but he only fulfilled it because the Jedi believed in it enough to train him and he fulfilled the prophecy in a way no one could’ve imagined...and even so, the Force doesn’t dictate everything. Everything is part of the Force, and the Force is part of everything -- but it shouldn’t just be a deus-ex-machina that moves the plot along or does whatever the author needs it to do. For instance, why can the Force suddenly heal wounds?? Since when is that something it can do?? If it could do that, and someone largely self-taught like Rey can do it, then why didn’t Jedi Master Anakin or Obi-Wan ever do that? Why didn’t Anakin use some of his life force to save his dying mother? Why didn’t he think to use it on Padme, or why didn’t Obi-Wan use it on Padme? Why didn’t Luke think to use it to save his father? The only reason why the Force can do that now is that the writers needed to justify why Kylo could give up his remaining life force for Rey, but in order to do that, they give the Force an ability it’s never had previously and doesn’t match up with the previous canon.

+If we’re talking about the Force, though, I have to write a separate bullet point accenting this -- WHY. DOESN’T. FINN. USE IT?? The film clearly likes the thought of Finn being Force-sensitive, but it’s too cowardly to just make Finn a Jedi. When Kylo and Rey were fighting over the ship, why didn’t Finn do something to help?? Why didn’t he blast Kylo or, more relevantly to this discussion, show off some of his latent Force talent by helping Rey yank the ship back? Why didn’t Finn use his Force ability to reach out to Rey while she was fighting Kylo, or fighting Palpatine? He could’ve been the one to wield Anakin’s lightsaber and fight side by side with Rey in that final battle, if Kylo had been the villain like he should’ve been. Maybe Finn confronts Commander Hux inside the command post while Rey’s fighting Kylo, and when Rey tries one last time to connect with the Jedi of the past, she’s able to connect to all of the Jedi, living or dead -- including Finn, as he also has been nurturing a talent in the Force! Through their new mental connection, Rey and Finn are able to help each other, while also being surrounded and spurred on by the corporeal, translucent spirits of Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Mace Windu, Ahsoka Tano, and the rest, all appearing and disappearing one after another around Finn and Rey as they fight. Poe should’ve been commanding the troops from above in Luke’s old X-Wing, it being the only ship he could get his hands on (because I’m sorry -- Han gave Rey the Falcon, she should be the one using it, yet this film just stubbornly kept her out of the driver’s seat for some reason), giving them all of the support he could from the air so that the rest of the First Order can’t interfere with the four-way duel between Finn, Rey, Kylo, and Hux. Maybe when the electricity in the ships gets messed up, Poe’s even able to remember something Rey or Finn told him to tap into the Force enough himself to keep himself airborne until he’s able to crash-land safely. While Hux and Kylo fight to destroy their opponents individually, each seeking glory and victory solely for themselves, Rey and Finn fight together as friends, taking lessons from the Jedi that are their mentors but also standing apart from them and being better than them.

+This movie really felt like two stories smashed together because there were way too many plot lines that were dropped like a hot potato not long after they were introduced. Finn having something to tell Rey? No conclusion. 3PO getting his memory wiped? Resolved quickly a few scenes later with little fall-out. Chewie supposedly getting killed? We find out within minutes that he survived. All of the new characters we meet, like Zorii and Jannah? They get one or two short scenes each where we barely get to know them at all. Even the India-inspired planet I mentioned earlier gets blown up because the First Order thinks it’ll upset the Rebellion and get them to come out of hiding, but...this film is the first time we’ve even seen this planet! We barely spent any time on it! This is really the obvious first choice of a planet whose destruction would upset the Rebellion? We don’t even know any of the characters who live on it personally! At least when Alderaan got blown up, Leia’s parents were on it, so we feel sad for Leia’s sake, but we haven’t built up any emotional investment in that planet that was just blown up.

+Along with this movie feeling like it had too much stuff in it, it also felt very, VERY long. The pacing was very bad, with there being no organic rise and fall to the action and the climax really just feeling like a bunch of plot turns stacked haphazardly on top of each other. When I came out of the theater, I even heard a little boy say to his dad, “That was really long,” and I had to agree with him. It’s not even that long compared to other Star Wars movies, but I just felt like I was being yanked around by the arm throughout the entire run-time, so rather than feeling invested in what was happening, I found myself tuning out and wanting the filmmakers to just get to a point.

Overall, I really don’t think I can recommend this movie. Every Star Wars fan should probably see it, and it’s possible that quite a few of you might get more out of it than me if you disliked The Last Jedi and want to see a movie that “sticks it” to that movie for whatever reason...but even if you do, surely you would agree that stories should not be written like this, where one part is completely invalidated by another and there’s no build-up for anything that happens? Stories should not be just something that you’re passively pulled through by the author -- they should engage you: make you feel for the characters, make you think about its themes, make you guess what might happen next. A story doesn’t mean less if you can make educated guesses about where the story might go if you see where it began -- it also doesn’t mean less if it subverts old literary or canon tropes. But this movie didn’t subvert anything -- instead it openly contradicted and retconned just about everything in the last movie, to the point that Rise of Skywalker clearly wanted to be two movies but didn’t have enough development or care put into it that could prompt a real emotional reaction from its audience. In short, it ended up being an overly complicated, watered-down retread of Return of the Jedi with none of the power in its supposedly “bittersweet” ending. The first two installments in this trilogy got me excited for a new take on Star Wars, to the extent that I for the first time actively looked into the fandom surrounding the films instead of just enjoying the films on my own. It’s therefore quite disappointing to me that the trilogy had to end on such a weak, petering note.

Overall Grade: D

#the rise of skywalker #star wars #star wars spoilers #spoilers #opinion #analysis #oh boy here i go #reviews #anti-reylo #anti-kylo ren

[raendown]

Pairing: IzunaKagami Word count: 1494 Soulmate au: The one where you get a sense of their core personality in the moments after waking

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Chapter 214

As much as he enjoyed the humdrum of life - and he did, no matter how much he grumbled his pessimistic views on everything - Izuna’s favorite time of day was the early morning. That ephemeral moment between sleeping and waking every day when he was blessed to be filled with warmth so bright he compared it in his waking hours to having the sun hidden just underneath his heart. Never was he more cheerful than those few moments of being suffused with his soulmate’s core personality, truly the best way to wake up. It was perhaps one of the better kept secrets of the Uchiha clan that Izuna started every morning with a chipper smile and a bounce in his step. Such upbeat feelings generally faded by the time he finished breakfast and was forced to interact with others again. 

The world was filled with stupid people and almost all of them found some excuse to parade themselves through Izuna’s business on a daily basis. For being the only founder of this village who hadn’t completely put down roots in his dusty office he sure seemed to spend a lot of time there dealing with people anyway. Often the only thing that kept his temper from overflowing and driving him mad were those few moments at the beginning of each day when he was treated to the sensation of a truly good soul, a warm happiness that sustained him even as he doubted he might ever have the chance to meet them. With a personality that positive he felt certain his soulmate could not be in the Uchiha clan and that, unfortunately, lessened the chances they would even interact by a depressing amount. 

Making peace was all well and good but all the clans that came together to create their little village were still walking on eggshells around each other. It would probably take at least a full generation if not two before they were able to coexist without that instinctual undercurrent of wariness. 

Wasting away his afternoon with musing about the facts of life he couldn’t change wasn’t exactly helping Izuna get anything done today but he couldn’t seem to focus on much else. Heaving a sigh, he used one finger to scoot the papers on his desk around in aimless patterns, knowing he should be working on them and utterly incapable of drumming up the energy to do so. His distraction was so overwhelming that instead of being annoyed at the interruption like he normally would Izuna nearly broke his face in half beaming when the door opened to admit a rather bedraggled looking Kagami. 

“You look like you just went ten rounds against a pack of wild animals,” he noted cheerfully. His clanmate only returned the beaming mile. 

“Torifu bet me I couldn’t spring a trap on the Hokage. It turns out that I can but it also turns out that sensei really doesn’t like it when I make ink bottles explode over Hashirama-sama’s already late work.”

Izuna roared with laughter - more for the knowledge that his old rival would have to spend the next few hours carefully redoing all of his brother's paperwork than for the successful prank - and when he caught his breath Kagami was staring at him with an intensity that brought a hint of color to his cheeks. He’d always had a bit of a soft spot for the young man across the room, although he’d never really seen fit to mention it. Kagami smiled at everyone. It would be hubris to think that the smiles given to him were anything special. 

“Let me guess,” he murmured in the hopes of distracting them both from his rising blush, “you came in here looking for a place to hide?”

“Everyone knows sensei avoids your office like the plague,” Kagami admitted. 

“And I avoid his. It’s better for everyone if we stay as far away from each other as possible.” 

“See? A perfect hiding place and I get to hang out with my very favorite person. I do have some good ideas that aren’t related to pranks every once in a while!” 

While Izuna definitely agreed with that statement, he found himself just a little too caught up on something else Kagami just revealed to say so. It took a moment of clearing his throat and praying that his cheeks weren’t too obviously red before he was able to choke out a few words. 

“I’m your favorite person?” he asked. Amazingly, Kagami gave him a sheepish look, though his ever present smile didn’t fade in the slightest. 

“Ah, did I say that bit out loud?”

The two of them stared at each other, equally abashed, until Kagami let out a self-effacing laugh and reached up to scratch the back of his neck, a habit that meant he was embarrassed but knew there was no point in trying to fight his way out of whatever mess he’d created. 

“Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now,” he said. “Do you know how long I managed to keep it a secret that I have a crush on you? Damn. We don’t really need to be awkward about this, do we? I still need a place to hide out from sensei for a while and it would be an awful shame to ruin our friendship over something like this.”

Izuna spluttered a few times before he managed to say, “Why would anything be ruined?”

“Because....you don’t feel the same?” Kagami ventured, openly startled when his statement only induced more spluttering.

“I damn well do!” Izuna snarled. 

Then he vaulted over his desk to pull the younger man in before either of them could talk themselves out of it and did his best to pour all of his passion in to one fiery kiss. Any doubts left in him were soothed by the enthusiastic groan of appreciation that Kagami gave vent to as he melted in to it, pressing his body up against Izuna’s until even sunlight would have trouble coming between them. 

Caught up in the high of finally having something neither of them thought they would ever get to experience, it took a few minutes for them to get past that first overflow of happiness, kissing until they were laughing in to each other’s mouths from the sheer joy of it. When they pulled apart Kagami attacked his neck instead, murmuring romantic nonsense in between light nips and gentle nuzzles. By the time they truly separated Izuna had only enough coherency left to wonder if this was what it felt like to float on cloud nine.

“I know why I didn’t say anything,” Kagami said, “but why didn’t you? You’re Mister Confident!” 

“Do not ever call me that where your ice prick of a sensei can hear you. I just never thought you’d be interested is all. Why didn’t you?” 

“Well...see, I wonder sometimes if you might be my soulmate because the feeling I get in the morning seems very much like you but then you’ve never hinted towards anything like that and I am a few years below you. It just felt like too much to hope for, you know?” 

Izuna wrinkled his nose even as his heart soared. “Well. I know one thing. I could probably qualify for the ‘world’s stupid person’ award because the feeling I get of my soulmate’s personality is a perfect picture of you and somehow I never put two and two together. What a pair of idiots we make.” 

Thankfully Kagami had enough exposure to his abrasive way of talking not to take offense to that. He laughed instead and it was such a beautiful sound that Izuna couldn’t help leaning in to taste it on his lips again.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Kagami murmured through his kisses, “but I promise I really was just looking for a place to hide for a while. No nefarious intentions. Zero plans to discover my secret crush is actually my soulmate.” 

“Oh really? Why don’t I believe you?” Izuna grinned so they would both understand he wasn’t serious, barely containing a snicker when Kagami gasped with a drama only the Uchiha clan could muster. 

“You don’t believe me! Whatever shall I do to convince you?” 

“Lock the door and we’ll talk about it.”

The blush his comment earned was fantastic - even more so when Kagami immediately darted over to lock the door before turning back to him with a grin that could only be described as feral. Watching the other man prowl towards him, Izuna swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat and thought to himself that no other human on earth could possibly be as lucky as he was. He, after all, was the one who would now be blessed with the honor of calling this perfect creature his own. The saving grace of his every morning now his to hold whenever he wanted. He could want for nothing more. 

#rae writes #soulmate collection #izukaga #izuna #kagami #fanfiction

[misssunflowersandsangria]

The Arrangement

Chapter 1:  The Set-Up 

Authors Note: Hello my lovely readers!  I love fanfic tropes!  So I had to use the fake dating one for Shikamaru/Temari  :D  I tend to write Temari very different from how she is depicted in the anime so just be aware if she does seem a little out of character. This is just a quick prologue and I'll get into the fun stuff soon. 

Summary:  To avoid being set up by the council Temari concocts a plan that involves one Nara Shikamaru. How can a fake relationship lead to real feelings?

*

**

Temari traced random patterns over her notebook as the council droned on. These meetings were getting worse.  While she loved being able to help and advise her brother the council was another story. They were still so set in the old ways despite the war and everything that they’d all been through. The world had changed but they refused to change with it.  Even now she was the only woman present, and that was solely due to being part of the ruling family.  

“And now onto other important matters. Princess Temari is now more than of age to entertain suitors. Despite her advanced age, there are still some suitable lords who have indicated an interest in courting her.” Her head shot up hearing her name. Temari felt her skin pale and her heart dropped to her stomach. Were they really considering what she thought they were?

“Yes, there are a number of unmarried clan heads that are interested as well.”  From what she remembered they were all men twice her age, balding, ones that had never found a wife. A few of them because of their backward thinking about the role of women. It was disturbing to her that they considered her a potential mate.

She couldn’t be part of an arranged marriage. Were they hoping she’d kill her husband? Who knows who they might set her up with.  She’d be a terrible wife and this would somehow be blamed on Gaara. She needed to buy some time. 

Surprising them she stood up with an announcement.  “I am currently in a relationship with Nara Shikamaru, a jounin of the Leaf Village.”  Even as she was saying it she had to keep her expression neutral in the face of such a huge lie.

The whole room fell silent at her announcement. 

“Princess Temari you recognize that there are serious ramifications for Suna from your forming a relationship. Especially one that we have not approved. This is all the more complicated because he is not from the Sand.  We are well aware of Nara Shikamaru from his role in the war.  We should have been informed immediately.” 

“It did not seem appropriate given the war that was about to break out to bring up my romantic relationship.”  She felt herself grinding her teeth. They had just been through a fucking war. How was her love life more important? 

“Lord Gaara were you aware of their relationship.”  Gaara eyed his sister carefully schooling his expression.

“It was I who recommended her actions.  Given the circumstances, it would have not made sense to bring their relationship up with the council seeing that we could not have expected who would have lived or died during the war.”

“And you are unopposed to the match?” 

“Nara Shikamaru has proven himself as a strong, respectable and worthy Shinobi. He is not only a solid member of the Leaf, but he has also been an important ally to the Sand.”  Despite this all being a complete deception she couldn't help but feel a little proud hearing her brother’s acknowledgment of his character.   

“I ask you to tread cautiously Council. He is quite fond of my sister. If you were to step in between their relationship there could be adverse consequences that would threaten our alliance with the Leaf and that of the other nations.  We cannot sustain another war which you may potentially welcome should there be continued talk about arranging some sort of relationship for political purposes in regards to Temari.”  Kankurou chimed in hoping to solidify the lie. 

The council held the silence for a moment before a member spoke up. “Truthfully, this could be a significant gain for us. An alliance through their eventual marriage could only strengthen our current relationship with Konoha.  You’ve done well Princess Temari.”  For everything that she’d sacrificed this is the first time that they’d ever actually acknowledged an “accomplishment.” 

“I assume you remember the courtship rituals.  Now that the war is over this may be just what the village needs.  Everyone loves a fairy tale.”

Temari dug her fingernails into her palm remembering those tiresome lessons as a child. While Kankurou was working on his jutsu she was learning how to be a proper princess. “ Ah yes, well.  We will both need time to prepare.”  And she needed time to convince him to go along with this charade. 

“Understood, we expect him here in a month.  I haven’t been so excited! “ The meeting came to a close the council leaving satisfied while Temari and her siblings had to pretend that they hadn’t concocted an elaborate ruse. 

“What are you going to do?”  Kankurou asked. It was a pretty brilliant idea at the time but now the council was expecting some kind of proof. 

“What can I do? I have to tell Shikamaru. They expect him here. He was the first name I could think of. I figured him being from a different village would make it more believable. If I can’t produce a suitor who knows who they are going to pick for me. I can’t believe that after everything I’ve done for the Village they can still dictate my love life.”  Her brothers looked at her sympathetically. She was right, it wasn’t fair. For all that she’d done they still viewed her as a political pawn they could use to their benefit.

“You think he’ll go along with it?”

“He has to, my freedom depends on it.”  She wasn’t sure how to convince her ally/friend/sometimes something more to play along.  The whole thing was incredibly troublesome. The courting rituals were very old and had specific steps and procedures for each one. But, if they could pull it off and convince the council that they were indeed together she could have more time to make a plan, some way to get out of this. 

In addition to their roles, they’d somehow have to convince everyone around them that they were a couple.  This was to ensure that no one let it slip that they weren’t actually together. Imagining hand-holding and kisses in public for everyone to see caused her to blush which she tried to hide by burying her face in her arms. 

“I mean this could work. You like him don’t you?”  Gaara thought aloud. 

She stared at her younger brother in shock.  “What the hell Gaara? Of course not!”

He just shrugged not taken back by her reply.  “I just assumed. You asked to complete any missions out to Konoha. In addition, I know that you stay on Nara grounds while there.  He’s remained your long-standing escort there due to your request.  I just assumed you either were already together or potentially pursuing a relationship.” He replied matter of factly. 

She just gawked at him while trying to process his response.  “That’s...that doesn’t mean that I like him!  I mean sure we work together a lot and while I’m there we spend most of our time together. I’m just used to him and I don’t want to get to know other people!”

Kankurou couldn’t help but cackle loudly at his sister's expression. They were both so obvious about how they felt about each other and yet here she was trying to argue otherwise. 

“Quiet Kankurou! There’s nothing between Nara and I. He’s still an annoying cry baby.”  Even as she was saying it she couldn’t help but wince.

“Right now he’s my only hope for getting through this. I’ll be leaving in the morning for Konoha. Not because I want to see him! I just need to convince him to go through with this and coach him on what he’s going to have to do.”   With that, she stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her. 

Kankurou and Gaara just looked back at each other.  “So much for preparing for the courting rituals.  We may have to worry about the marriage ones.”

The Arrangement:

Chapter 1: The Set-Up

Thanks again for reading!  I need to finish up my Sai/Ino fic "Roses" but I couldn't get this out of my head.  I have an outline for this fic pretty much laid out, it's not going to be too long but I don't have a real updating schedule...it shouldn't be too long between updates though.  I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my little musings. Love you all!

#shikamaru x temari #shikatema #shikatem #princesstemari #sand siblings #fake dating #fanfic

[the-writing-dump-bin]

A Dangerous Game Part 3

SFW but has violence

Ten months ago

"Ahh... Ahh... Ahh... I should be good here." You huffed, leaning against a building wall in an alley you ducked into, pressing your hand to the bleeding cut you sustained. You and your team had been on a lead when you were confronted by the hit team and ended up in a battle.

Everything was going pretty good for your side. You had one of La Squadra's members, Ghiaccio, trapped in your Stand and almost had him finished when you were attacked from behind by Melone. He grabbed you by your arms and pinned them around your back, making you release your Stand's hold on Ghiaccio; he fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath.

"Son of a bitch!" You cursed in Melone's hold.

"What a great idea!" Melone rubbed the side of his face on yours. "You look like a perfect specimen for my Stand."

Oh shit. You panic. You've heard of Melone's Stand, Baby Face, and being a woman, you really had to get away from this creep.

The only option would be to use your own Stand, Nine Inch Nails, but with how close Melone is, you would be affected by it as well. The feeling of Melone's fingers caressing your hip made you cringe; this can't happen. With a scream, you activate your Stand around you, trapping you and the lavender haired man inside.

The air depleted quickly with the two of you caught in the translucent coffin. Your vision blurs as you gasp, hoping Melone breaks first that his hold on you loosens and you can get away from the fray of battle.

Its been almost two minutes. His hands falter, but so do your legs and you drop to your knees with Melone still behind you- if only he would pass out. With the last bit of strength you were feeling, you pulled your arm free and rammed your elbow into his face. Once he let go to grab at his nose, thats when you released your Stand and ran as fast as you could away from them. Thats how you ended in the alley way you are in now.

Gasping, you examine your arm. Giorno would be able to fix you; you just had to get to him somehow.

Scailing the wall, you cautiously peer around the corner to see if anyone followed you; it looked clear. Taking a deep breath, you go to make your way towards the safe house, when you started to feel dizzy. Your eyes blur and your breaths got even shorter. "Wh-What the...hell..." Suddenly, your left hand is slammed to the side of the building, then your right. The feeling of something very strong squeezed your wrists and you felt something press against your body. There was nothing around you, so what was was this feeling of weakness in your body, and what was pressed against you?

"You're an interesting girl..."

A smooth, deep voice could be heard around you, but there was no one around...was there?

Materializing in front of you, was a tall man with eyes black as night and red as blood. A bit of his silver hair could be visable under the black hat he wore. His chiseled bare chest was eye level with you, black straps across his muscles. "Risotto Nero..."

"You've heard of me." He glared down at you, the height difference between you pretty significant. Gritting your teeth, you muster any strength to activate your Stand, but was stopped when Risotto squeezed your wrists and pushed you up against the wall more with his form. "I dont think so. I saw you back there with Melone. Someone this close to you, you'll be affected as well. Besides, I've already been working my own Stand on you."

Looking to the cut on your arm, you saw little ghost-like beings on it, wriggling around. Thats why you were feeling dizzy, your blood was being manipulated. "So you got me. Now what? You're going to kill me?"

Risotto looked at you with an unreadable look. But it wasn't the look that was unsettling, it was how long he looked at you for. Those eyes burning into yours, making your cheeks dust with a pink and your stomach flip with excitement. In a terrifying way, he was sort of...handsome...

Finally moving, Risotto's lips curved into a sly smile. "Kill you? Its an option..." He bent down to growl in your ear. "But then, that scary Stand of yours would go to waste." His eyes flicked to the dripping wound on your arm, face coming so close to it that he could smell the iron in your blood. This was oddly arousing.

"A-Are you going to k-kill m-me or not...?" Between low blood pressure, and the strange knot forming in your stomach, you felt like you were going to throw up.

Risotto straightened a little, looking back at your face; dirtied and bloodly from the fight with his men. Smiling, he loosened his grip a little, his thumbs rubbing the inside of your wrists subtly. "I'll let you live...this time..." He released your arms and backed away slowly, not breaking eye contact with you as he let his Stand go.

He was far enough for you trap him, but you didn't. Risotto Nero, the ruthless leader of La Squadra, let you, a member of the enemy, live. You fell to your knees, weak from the fight and blood loss. With one last quirk of his lips, he turned to make his leave. What just happened? Risotto could have killed you right on the spot, but didn't.

You felt like something passed between you in the moments he stared at you. He was dangerous, a killer, yet there was this pull that made you quite interested in this man. "Hey!" You shouted after him, making him stop in his tracks. He turned his head enough to look back at you, kneeling on the ground. "You got a nice smile, did you know that?"

Risotto took a moment to process your words then stuffed his hand in his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper the size of a business card and smirked. "So do you." He flicked the card at you.

You caught the card mid air between your fingers, returning the expression. He nodded once then left the alley. Looking at what was printed, you realized it was his phone number.

What a turn of events.

Risotto Nero, leader of La Squadra. You, a member of Bucciarati's gang. About to get caught up in something dangerous and forbidding. But that's the risk of the game, isn't it?

---

Risotto stealthy followed Bucciarati and Mista back to the safe house you were located in.

Earlier that night, while the rest of the hit team sulked from the wrath they recieved from their capo upon learning your "escape", Risotto decided to take the risk and head to your house to make sure you were safe. When he got there and no lights were on, he made himself invisible and made his way in without any signs of a break in.

No signs of struggle was inside, so he guessed you were still with your gang; maybe you would be home soon. His heart picked up in excitement when he heard the door open, but quickly hid and camouflaged himself again when he heard two male voices belonging to Bucciarati and Mista.

He quickly learned that they were here to grab things for you, since you were staying at the safe house. At least he knew you were okay.

Very carefully, he followed the two down the hall. Mista went into the bathroom while Bucciarati went into your bedroom. Thinking Mista was fine, Risotto followed Bucciarati into your room. He watched him rummage through your closet, putting clothes in a duffle bag he found. Then he went to your dresser and packed your underwear. Risotto noticed the blush on Bucciarati's cheeks when he pulled out a pair of your panties, holding them a little longer than Risotto liked.

Just before it was time to take their leave, Bucciarati doubled back to grab the pajama pants you had on your bed; that's when he noticed the open letters in your nightstand, picking up the most recent one.

Risotto's heart stopped as he watched him read the letter. This was bad.

"Who is 'N'?" Bucciarati muttered out loud. "Abbacchio! I can find out by using Moody Blues." He stuffed the letter in his pocket.

Now this went from bad to worse. Risotto had to get that letter back.

Once Bucciarati and Mista left your house, Risotto snuck out the back window and followed them back to the safe house. He stayed behind a good distance to not be noticed-even in his invisible form- but still close enough to hear them talking.

It was twenty minutes of listening to Mista's rambling until Bucciarati switched the subject. "Mista... Has...has Y/N ever mentioned that she's seeing someone?"

"Hm? Like romantically?" Mista thought back to the conversations you've had. "Not that I can think of. Why?"

Bucciarati paused a bit, thinking if he should tell him about the letter he stole off of your night table. "Mista... I like Y/N. Almost so much that I tried to kiss her earlier before we left to get her things."

Rage ran through Risotto as he heard the words that came out of Bucciarati's mouth. He could kill him right here and now for him to be advancing on you but kept himself in check. If he were to kill them both, he knew that you would know he did it. His only mission right now was that letter and get it back before Abbachio could find out he wrote it.

"Whoa! Are you serious?"

Bucciarati nodded slowly, feeling a little shame. "But she rejected me. She told me she wasn't looking for a relationship right now." He stuffed his hand in pocket and touched the paper, tempted to tell Mista what he found, but decided against it. "I thought maybe she would have told you anything."

"Sorry, man."

---

Arriving at the safe house, Risotto slipped in silently behind the two men.

"I'm gonna crash. Here's the rest of Y/N's stuff." Mista handed the bag to Bucciarati and headed off to his room.

Bucciarati sighed, running a hand through his hair. The words of the letter ran through his mind. There was obviously a recent meet up, and this person had bought you something to wear for the occasion. He made his way up the stairs to your room, knocking lightly.

Risotto held his breath. Just on the other side of that door was you. Though he seen you just hours earlier, he longed to hold you in his arms- away from this place. His heart fluttered when he saw you through the crack of the door when you opened it. He went to move forward to you but stopped when Bucciarati moved in his way.

"Were you asleep?" He asked you, holding up the bags in each hand. "I brought your things."

"Oh, thank you, Bruno." You stepped back a little for Bucciarati to enter and walked back to your bed. Bucciarati shut the door behind him before Risotto had a chance to squeeze into the room, leaving him out in the hallway just on the other side of the door.

Bucciarati walked beside you, placing the bags on the bed. He eyed you subtly as you went through the bag Mista packed. There were some things in there that you probably wouldn't need, but you were thankful for the thought. Going through the one Bucciarati packed, you found the pajama pants and put them on under the robe you were wearing; you had just gotten out of the shower before he knocked on your door. You smiled at him, thanking him again for getting you your pants.

Bucciarati sighed lovingly. It warmed his heart to see you happy. "Is there anything else you need? Or want?" Or want to tell me?

You shook you head, grabbed a tank top to put on and shed your robe, climbing into bed. "Can you shut the lights off when you leave, please?"

"Of course." Bucciarati nodded and walked to the door. His hand came up to flick the light switch but noticed something in the small laundry bin that was in the room. Looking in your direction, he could see you were facing away from him. Curious, he peered in and saw a matching lingerie set; laced black and red.

Don't forget to wear this, I know you'll look absolutely delicious in it. The letter had said.

"Bruno?" You said with a yawn. "The lights?"

Shaking his head from the thoughts running in his head, Bucciarati shut off your lights and left the room, shutting your door behind him. He made his way back downstairs and into the common room, finding Narancia sitting in front of the TV playing a video game. "Narancia, where is Abbachio?"

Narancia was pretty wrapped up in his game, focused right to the TV and flailing his arms around while pushing buttons on his controller. "He left about a half hour before you and Mista came back. He didn't feel like spending the night here so he went home and put me in charge of watching Y/N."

Bruno stared down at him. "While you were playing video games? How are you supposed to watch her if you're doing that?"

"Eh?" Narancia blinked, realizing he wasn't doing his job. "Oh my god! She could have left!" He quickly stood up and started to run to your room before Bucciarati stopped him.

"Easy, Narancia. She's still up there; she's asleep."

~

Risotto watched the two from the corner of the room. If Bucciarati could only stand still for a moment, he might have a chance to maybe get the letter out of his pocket carefully. He quietly sighed with relief when he heard Abbachio wasn't here. That gave him more time to come with how to get it back.

The easiest way would be to kill him- maybe the others, too. But Risotto knew how much you valued your gang members. They were your friends, and most of all, the only family you had. He knew you wouldn't forgive him if he took it all away from you. But maybe he can do something...

Bucciarati left the common area and went to the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he dwelled over the contents of the letter. If that lingerie was in your laundry bin, then the meet up with whomever you were supposed to meet was to had happen some time in the last 24 hours. The meet up must have been thwarted by your capture by the hit team and you couldn't get to whoever you were dating. Unless...

Risotto grabbed a knife from the knifeblock that was on the counter and thrusted it forward, stabbing Bucciarati in a less vital spot, but enough to bring him to his knees. Using Metallica, he took Bucciarati's iron from his blood to make him collapse in a heap put him in quick unconscious state. This act made Riostto lose his invisibility, his Stand growing tired as he stood over your leader. Stuffing his hand in the jacket, Risotto pulled out the letter and sprang to the door.

Giorno ran into the kitchen upon hearing a thud from the other room and saw Bucciarati laying on the floor in a pool of blood. With no hesitation, he used his Stand to heal him. "Gold Experience!" While his Stand did the work, Giorno looked up to see a glimpse of Bucciarati's attacker and locked eyes with the evil that was Risotto before he was completely gone from sight. "Mista! Narancia! Trish! Quick, Bucciarati has been attacked!"

The three ran in as quick as they could and stood shocked as Bucciarati lay on the floor; Gold Experience tending to his wound. "What happened?!" Giorno informed them that he heard something from the kitchen and found Bucciarati bleeding.

Bucciarati regained consciousness and heard Giorno's report. "T-They must be after Y/N... For when she e-escaped from them..." He stood up with shakey legs. "We have to eliminate them before they can eliminate her. Trish, make sure Y/N stays here. Giorno, Narancia and I will go in the direction Risotto went in and look for him. Mista, you go get Abbachio and meet up with us; we'll need everyone." With this new issue, Bucciarati forgot about the letter, not even checking his pocket. If they were coming after you, then his main objective was to keep you safe.

---

You woke with a disturbing feeling and sat up. The room was still covered in a little darkness as the twilight of morning peeked in through the window. Getting up, you made your way downstairs and to the kitchen, you froze when you saw the drying blood on the floor. Wh-What...

"Y/N," Trish squeeked behind you. "Please go back to your room. Its very dangerous right now. Bucciarati was attacked a couple hours ago by La Squadra's leader. They must be mad that you escaped and he came here to retrieve you."

Risotto did this? You couldn't really believe it. The kidnapping was a hoax so the two of you could be together; he wouldn't attack your friends without reason...would he?

"Bucciarati and the others have been out looking for him. They want to find him before he alerts his team and start a bigger fight."

This can't happen. You didn't want anyone to get hurt. You had to stop this somehow. "Trish, which way did they go?" You asked as you pulled your shoes on.

"What? No, Y/N, you have to stay here! Its Bucciarati's orders!" Trish stood in front of you, Spice Girl appearing beside her, ready to stop you.

You didn't have time for this, nor did you want to hurt your friend, but you couldn't just sit back and have them kill each other. Faster at using your Stand, you trapped Trish before she could stop you, just putting her under so she couldn't stop you from leaving the safe house. "I'm sorry, Trish."

You weren't sure which way to go, but something told you to head in the direction of La Squadra's base. The streets were bare, civilians at home and asleep while you ran. Approaching the fountain where Risotto parted ways with you the morning before, you saw them; full on in battle with the other. Your gang versus Risotto's. Team members against team members. Leader fighting leader. You stood there and watched them, unsure what to do.

On one side, was Bucciarati, who gave you a home when you were abandoned by your family. The other side was Risotto, who you unexpectedly found companionship with.

You loved them both, but in two very different ways. "Bruno... Nero..." With a shout, you rushed forward into the fray between the two capos and activated your Stand.

You could only use it on one person...so who did you choose?

#a dangerous game #jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #risotto nero #risotto #vento aureo #golden wind #my fic #my writing #risotto x reader

[girlmeetsliv3]

How They Met You

@books-are-way-better-than-movies asked: Could I request a continuation of Taehyung and Jimin’s HTTY even if it’s just backstory to how Y/n met them.

A.N: Hope you liked it, I know it’s a bit messy at places but I hope its what you wanted. I’m working on the Taehyung one, but it felt as if this one should go first. Enjoy ~~

singmeyourswansongsingmeyourswansongsingmeyourswansong

Since the moment you could walk you were never in control of your feet. Instead of following the pattern of heel-toe that everyone seemed to, your feet moved every which way rhythmically. Whether to the flow of a specific song, the banging of a drum, even the slight tapping of fingernails would set you off. You were destined to dance. Your decision to pursue dance was set in stone at a young age: your mother had just purchased the latest Barbie movie and all you could focus on was how beautiful the animated doll looked as she spun around on her toes to the movements of Tchaikovsky. She seemed to fly with her delicate yet precise movements and you desired nothing more than to do the same. It took a lot of convincing for your parents to sign you up for Ballet classes and even more for you to remain in them. Your family had never had the most stable income nor were you in a position where you could afford such luxuries, but your parents saw your talent and broke their backs in labor simply to see you smile. When you reached the appropriate age, you began to cut school in order to work. Classes and materials only got more expensive the higher up you went and it was unfair for your parents to keep slaving themselves away. 

It was around your eighteenth birthday that everything took a turn for the worse, your father injured himself and had to stop working. It fell upon you and your mother to maintain the household and that meant saying goodbye to dance forever in favor of a more sustainable income. After endless days of mind-numbing labor and crying yourself to sleep, your mother told you to attend class one last time - a goodbye of sorts. Since you had missed for over two weeks, you were out of touch: muscles tender, toes weak, and you had lost some flexibility. The other girls in class whispered endlessly around you, staring at you with mocking sympathy. Ballet has always been cut-throat and if you left, then it was one less person to compete with. That class happened to be the day that the companies sponsors would stop by in order to recruit fresh new talent. You had contemplated sitting out until you overheard one of the girls behind you murmur. “I heard some sponsors provide full financial support if you’re really talented.” There it was. Your beacon of hope. One last opportunity to touch the clouds before the chains of reality dragged you down.

The sponsors strolled into class, but you didn’t pay attention to any of them. Putting your entire attention into stretching your muscles and preparing your brain. The instructor, an older woman with a hint of a fresh accent, took center stage. “Alright girls, as you know the sponsors are here to select the best of the best. They are not required to choose any of you based on whether or not you have talent or potential. Only those who are true ballerinas with an immense amount of passion shall make it.” At her words, a sense of determination sprouted within you. Your mother had once told you of how even in the womb, you seemed to dance. This was everything you wanted need. “All of you will choose a piece around two minutes in length and improvise to the best of your abilities. Let’s begin.” The order was determined alphabetically, that means you went right in the middle. Not an ideal place to be, but it meant you would need to stand out in order to capture all of their attention. “[Y/n] [Y/l/n]. Center stage and your song.” It felt as if the world’s entire attention was on you. As if a bright spotlight, so hot, that it practically melted you were focused on you. “Don Quixote’s Kitri variation.” An instant ripple of gasps and whispers erupted from both your classmates and the sponsors. “Very Well. Whenever you're ready.” 

You closed your eyes and recalled that life-defining moment. Recalled the way those dolls seemed to move so effortlessly and graciously, in a way that almost seemed to defy logic and reason. As you gave a slight nod and the music began, you lost yourself in that memory. However, this time it was you on the television screen, it was you who levitated off the ground. It was you who flew. You were so lost inside your thoughts, you hadn’t even realized you were still in your ending pose and the song had ended; until a singular clap snapped you out of your thoughts. You peered up to spot a man standing right in front of you. His hair was light-colored and his tan skin glowed in contrast to the cream silk shirt peeking from under his suit. “That was spectacular. I’ve never seen someone move so freely as if they were flying.” At the compliment, your face reddened and you immediately stood up and thanked him. “Don’t thank me, swan. You should thank nature for giving you wings with which to fly.” That was your introduction to Park Jimin, your prince charming and your captor. 

From the very beginning, the two of you had somewhat of an odd relationship. Jimin was only truly supposed to help pay for your career and aid you in creating and maintaining a brand. However, he always took things one step further. It began with small gifts here and there, which he claimed were to boost morale. After two months of being under his guidance, Jimin insisted that you quit your jobs since they “distract you from dance and only destroy your body. Dance should be your primary and only concern.” When you retaliated by explaining to him, you needed money to pay for your families housing and take care of them, he dismissed your worries. “I’ll take care of you. You don’t need to focus on anyone else, but yourself and me. I’ll have your family taken care of so don’t stress.” Within a week, your family had been set up with a nice private nurse to take care of your father and your mother had been given the role of supervisor which meant a much higher wage. It wasn’t uncommon for you to wonder where it was Jimin got all his money from, or how exactly he was able to provide everything your heart could desire and then more. 

Your questions were answered after Jimin had invited you to join him at a company gala. Your mother was concerned about your attendance and even expressed her fear over the relationship between your sponsor and you. “I see the way he looks at you, [y/n]. It is the way a man looks at a woman, not a business partner.” Though you would never admit it to yourself, Jimin’s interest in you was something you had long taken notice of. The new season had begun and for once you were in the running to be the lead in this years take on Swan Lake. Your ambition to finally achieve your dreams led you to ignore the red flags so clearly present. “Jimin and I aren’t business partners. We’re friends. He took a chance on me and I won’t ever be able to repay him for that. I owe him at least this much.” From your tone, your mother understood the conversation was at its end. A knock was heard coming from the front door and you hurried to meet the man who was going to help you reach the heavens. At what cost you didn’t know. 

The gala was entirely different from what you had assumed it would be. The attendants weren’t famous dancers, choreographers, and the founders. Rather it was filled to the brim with men in fitted suits that screamed power, pride, and a tendency to overexert the two. “Jimin. I thought you said, we were going to the company party?” you leaned in to whisper in his ear, the atmosphere was tense and uncomfortable. The type that could shatter at something as insignificant as the breeze of wind. “These are the men who control the company. Far more important in rank, than anyone else.” It wasn’t until one of the men who was lounged comfortably on a chair shifted, his blazer moving to uncover the weapon hidden inside that it all clicked. Who Jimin was and the power he could wield. “Why am I here?” You weren’t sure if you were talking to him or yourself, but he answered nonetheless. “I’m going to be leaving town for a while and I wanted to spend one last night with you.” The implications behind those words were clear and you would rather not focus on them. For the rest of the night, Jimin paraded you around introducing you as the next face of the company. The greatest dancer of your generation. The words were meant to please you, but all you felt was fear.

As the night came to a close, Jimin took you off to the side to speak with you. “Swan, I need you to make a promise.” The strong gaze and assertive tone of his voice, let you know how serious he was being. “W-what kind of promise?” You stuttered. Dread-filled you as you imagined all of the things he could ask for. “Swan, I’ve given you everything you have ever wanted and more. Don’t you think it's only fair you repay me?” You knew what he the hidden meaning behind those words. Though you deeply cared for Jimin, you also knew better. If Jimin hadn’t been afraid to express his possessiveness and need for you without a romantic relationship, you feared what would happen if that line was crossed. “What if I don’t make it? What if all this is for nothing?” You were rambling, but you needed to stall. “Fine, if you don’t make it. Consider our debt cleared. However, if you taste glory and reach the heavens as you so desire. Remember who took you there, remember who deserves to share that glory with you.” Jimin’s eyes were hooded and there was a slight snarl to the way he spoke, but none of that mattered. You eagerly nodded and agreed. 

Jimin left the very next day and it would be on the way to dance practice that you received the call. The one that would set your dream in motion, but also seal your fate in stone. None of that came to mind though, as you were so elated at all the hard work paying off that you rushed home to tell your parents the good news. On the way, accidentally knocking into a delivery boy with bright eyes and even brighter smile who refused to let you go without knowing who you were. Months went by and your life was consumed by practice and your new boyfriend. You lived in a bubble of joy, that could not be popped. Your sponsor had faded to the back of your mind as the opening night approached and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong. This was something you were born to do. To dance. To fly. To dance along to Tchaikovsky’s Finale as you shed behind your old life and transformed into a beautiful being ready to take flight.

#bts #bts au #yandere bts #yanderebts #yandere park jimin #yandere jimin #bangtanarmynet #yandere park jimin x reader #yandere kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop drabbles #park jimin x reader #fanfiction #bts fanfic #how they met you #girlmeetsliv3

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

Ken Caldeira, a climate scientist at the Carnegie Institution for Science in Stanford, Calif., has a habit of asking new graduate students to name the largest fundamental breakthrough in climate physics since 1979. It’s a trick question. There has been no breakthrough. As with any mature scientific discipline, there is only refinement. The computer models grow more precise; the regional analyses sharpen; estimates solidify into observational data. Where there have been inaccuracies, they have tended to be in the direction of understatement. Caldeira and a colleague recently published a paper in Nature finding that the world is warming more quickly than most climate models predict. The toughest emissions reductions now being proposed, even by the most committed nations, will probably fail to achieve “any given global temperature stabilization target.”

More carbon has been released into the atmosphere since the final day of the Noordwijk conference, Nov. 7, 1989, than in the entire history of civilization preceding it. In 1990, humankind emitted more than 20 billion metric tons of carbon dioxide. By 2017, the figure had risen to 32.5 billion metric tons, a record. Despite every action taken since the Charney report — the billions of dollars invested in research, the nonbinding treaties, the investments in renewable energy — the only number that counts, the total quantity of global greenhouse gas emitted per year, has continued its inexorable rise. […] 

Everyone knew — and we all still know. We know that the transformations of our planet, which will come gradually and suddenly, will reconfigure the political world order. We know that if we don’t act to reduce emissions, we risk the collapse of civilization. We also know that, without a gargantuan intervention, whatever happens will be worse for our children, worse yet for their children and even worse still for their children’s children, whose lives, our actions have demonstrated, mean nothing to us. […] 

We worry about the future. But how much, exactly? The answer, as any economist could tell you, is very little. Economics, the science of assigning value to human behavior, prices the future at a discount; the farther out you project, the cheaper the consequences. This makes the climate problem the perfect economic disaster. The Yale economist William D. Nordhaus, a member of Jimmy Carter’s Council of Economic Advisers, argued in the 1970s that the most appropriate remedy was a global carbon tax. But that required an international agreement, which Nordhaus didn’t think was likely. Michael Glantz, a political scientist who was at the National Center for Atmospheric Research at the time, argued in 1979 that democratic societies are constitutionally incapable of dealing with the climate problem. The competition for resources means that no single crisis can ever command the public interest for long, yet climate change requires sustained, disciplined efforts over decades. And the German physicist-philosopher Klaus Meyer-Abich argued that any global agreement would inevitably favor the most minimal action. Adaptation, Meyer-Abich concluded, “seems to be the most rational political option.” It is the option that we have pursued, consciously or not, ever since.

These theories share a common principle: that human beings, whether in global organizations, democracies, industries, political parties or as individuals, are incapable of sacrificing present convenience to forestall a penalty imposed on future generations. When I asked John Sununu about his part in this history — whether he considered himself personally responsible for killing the best chance at an effective global-warming treaty — his response echoed Meyer-Abich. “It couldn’t have happened,” he told me, “because, frankly, the leaders in the world at that time were at a stage where they were all looking how to seem like they were supporting the policy without having to make hard commitments that would cost their nations serious resources.” He added, “Frankly, that’s about where we are today.”

If human beings really were able to take the long view — to consider seriously the fate of civilization decades or centuries after our deaths — we would be forced to grapple with the transience of all we know and love in the great sweep of time. So we have trained ourselves, whether culturally or evolutionarily, to obsess over the present, worry about the medium term and cast the long term out of our minds, as we might spit out a poison.

Like most human questions, the carbon-dioxide question will come down to fear. At some point, the fears of young people will overwhelm the fears of the old. Some time after that, the young will amass enough power to act. It will be too late to avoid some catastrophes, but perhaps not others. Humankind is nothing if not optimistic, even to the point of blindness. We are also an adaptable species. That will help.

The distant perils of climate change are no longer very distant, however. Many have already begun to occur. We are capable of good works, altruism and wisdom, and a growing number of people have devoted their lives to helping civilization avoid the worst. We have a solution in hand: carbon taxes, increased investment in renewable and nuclear energy and decarbonization technology. As Jim Hansen told me, “From a technology and economics standpoint, it is still readily possible to stay under two degrees Celsius.” We can trust the technology and the economics. It’s harder to trust human nature. Keeping the planet to two degrees of warming, let alone 1.5 degrees, would require transformative action. It will take more than good works and voluntary commitments; it will take a revolution. But in order to become a revolutionary, you need first to suffer.

Hansen’s most recent paper, published last year, announced that Earth is now as warm as it was before the last ice age, 115,000 years ago, when the seas were more than six meters higher than they are today. He and his team have concluded that the only way to avoid dangerous levels of warming is to bend the emissions arc below the x-axis. We must, in other words, find our way to “negative emissions,” extracting more carbon dioxide from the air than we contribute to it. If emissions, by miracle, do rapidly decline, most of the necessary carbon absorption could be handled by replanting forests and improving agricultural practices. If not, “massive technological CO₂ extraction,” using some combination of technologies as yet unperfected or uninvented, will be required. Hansen estimates that this will incur costs of $89 trillion to $535 trillion this century, and may even be impossible at the necessary scale. He is not optimistic. […] 

It is true that much of the damage that might have been avoided is now inevitable. And Pomerance is not the romantic he once was. But he still believes that it might not be too late to preserve some semblance of the world as we know it. Human nature has brought us to this place; perhaps human nature will one day bring us through. Rational argument has failed in a rout. Let irrational optimism have a turn. It is also human nature, after all, to hope.

- Losing Earth: The Decade We Almost Stopped Climate Change

#losing earth #environment #climate change #global warming

[briangroth27]

Ready or Not Review

I really liked Ready or Not! It’s a very entertaining horror adventure with a healthy dose of comedy and a great lead in Samara Weaving. The supporting cast is on point too and everyone involved more than capably delivers a really fun thrill ride!

Full Spoilers...

Weaving's Grace is hoping to find a family once she marries her fiancé, Alex (Mark O’Brien), but everything goes wrong when his family tradition of playing a game each wedding night leaves her running for her life. Weaving imbues Grace with a winning way that makes her easy to root for, which is very important since we don't learn much about her interests or aspirations outside the family here. Her interactions with and reactions to the members of the Le Domas clan (along with her struggle to survive) give us a good grasp of who she is as a person (and that's just as if not more important as her biography), but I would've liked to know what she wanted out of life beyond a family and a solid home. Given no one in the movie really gets those details, however, it doesn't feel like she was slighted or underwritten. Her drive to have a family after living through foster homes was strong enough to give her a relatable goal and to fuel the tragedy that what she wants demands her death. The movie sends her through the ringer and Weaving absolutely sold Grace's growing confidence and grit in the face of so many would-be killers. She wasn't ever helpless or short of the ability to defend herself, but carving out an independent life apart from what she wanted was handled really well as the metaphorical component to her literal struggle to survive. I really liked that her most deliberate murder was the one that also eliminated any chance of a happy marriage to Alex, since she kills his mom Becky (Andie MacDowell), whom he loved her more than his new wife.

The script and direction did a great job of balancing Alex’s wish that he was different from his family with the dawning truths that he really did believe as they did and that he would choose them over Grace. The very act of putting her in a situation that could lead to her death without telling her—even if the Hide & Seek card hadn't been drawn in 30 years—was a huge red flag and I'm glad they followed through to the conclusion of that plot point. The romantic music swelling when he told Grace he'd proposed to her because she'd leave him otherwise didn't convince me that he was a good guy (he would have explained why they couldn’t get married or just let her go rather than risk her life if he really loved her), so I was happy the movie used the romantic music as a trick instead of a true emotional beat. There were other small hints at his turn along the way, so his was a nicely-constructed and acted arc too.

Alex’s brother Daniel (Adam Brody) was initially drawn as sleazy and unlikable, so I wasn’t expecting either of the moments where he helps Grace escape. I definitely didn’t think he’d turn out to be the best of his clan, particularly given his role in the last Hide & Seek game they played. However, I fully bought his turn after Brody and the movie showed the toll his choice back then had taken on him and how exhausted with everything about his family he was. Most of the Le Domas family were pretty affable on the surface (accounting for niceties at a wedding), and the actors and writers crafted a nice blend of reasons for them to stick with the family as well as some very entertaining comic relief within the group. Like Grace, we don’t hear a lot about their goals or dreams, but through the writing and performances it was easy to see who these people were from their actions and interactions alone. I did believe that they were truly hoping the Hide & Seek card wasn’t pulled and not just because they knew they’d all be terrible at hunting a person. That obviously doesn’t excuse any of their actions—they still put Grace in that position and immediately went through with trying to kill her to save themselves and the family business—but I liked that the movie took the step of giving them a bit of humanity before carrying out their ritual. That actually made them scarier, since people who do evil, selfish things are still people and pretending that only inhuman monsters are murderers (or racists, sexists, white supremacists, etc.) is dangerous.

There are some solid foils set up for Grace amongst the women of the Le Domas family. Becky is who Grace might want to be: the outsider welcomed into the family so that she can build a large one of her own and in doing so, find a stable home. They have the closest bond, come from similar lower class backgrounds, and the movie makes note of them both being smokers, providing another small connection between them (even if Grace lies about it to impress Becky). The ironically-named Charity (Elyse Levesque) is the cliché reflection of Grace (and possibly how we’d expect a wealthy family to see someone joining them from the lower classes): she’s literally there for the money and security that being part of this family provides. Emilie (Melanie Scrofano) is Grace without her grit (and what Grace hopes the family doesn’t see her as): a screw-up in over her head who has no idea what she’s doing, but who’s desperate to impress the family. Aunt Helene (Nicky Guadagni), on the other hand, is who Grace could be if she were all grit and devotion to the family. Looking at them this way had me wondering if the men in the Le Domas clan are foils for Alex as well. Daniel is set up as the red herring evil brother and their trajectories are opposites: Alex left but never really “left” the family while Daniel stayed, but that only allowed him to stew in how terrible they all are. Fitch (Kristian Bruun) does bring up cutting and running once, but ultimately he’s fully willing to go along with the ritual and between Alex fleeing the family and Daniel drinking himself into snark, before Alex’s turn Fitch is kind of the best son Tony (Henry Czerny) has (even if he’s a son-in-law, ensuring he’ll never be treated like blood). Tony’s devoted to the ritual and will absolutely kill to protect his family, though he wishes he didn’t have to. He’s what Alex probably would have become had Grace pulled a different card. Emilie and Fitch’s sons Georgie (Liam MacDonald) and Gabe (Ethan Tavares) also mirror Daniel and Alex, with one of them being hidden for most of the movie and the other taking part in the family’s ritual “because everyone else was doing it.” 

Since I saw the first trailer, I was hoping Mr. Le Bael would be a real demon, so I absolutely loved that he actually was mystically sustaining this family’s fortune in exchange for this ritual! Just before that reveal, when it seemed nothing would happen to the family for not killing Grace before dawn, the family’s awkward “well shoot…what do we do now?” moment was played perfectly, so that was a bit of the best of both worlds. I thought Grace was going to have to fight off the whole family at once somehow, since they’d still have to kill her to get away with it. However, the parade of exploding devil worshipers that followed instead was a fitting end to these terrible people: they’re all brought down by the thing they thought would make their dreams come true (which is a nice parallel to Grace’s biggest dream turning into a nightmare). I thought Mr. Le Bael might offer Grace a deal of her own for surviving the night, but I’m glad he just gave her a nod of approval instead.

The violence throughout the film expertly walks the same cartoony/serious line that the tone of the whole movie does. That’s very hard to do while still keeping the stakes high, but this movie completely and consistently pulls it off. There’s a lot of gore (though not too gross-out graphic IMO) that’s used well to comedic effect, until Grace starts getting injured and it takes a turn to decidedly not comedic; then they play the seriousness and pain of those injuries just as effectively. While the accidental deaths are comical, I wish they weren’t solely reserved for women (Hanneke Talbot, Celine Tsai, and Daniela Barbosa, who play the Le Dormas maids), though I suppose that’s the comment on these villains: this rich family didn’t care about their value beyond bemoaning how well they’d served them.

Criticisms of the upper class like that are effectively deployed throughout the film, from joining/maintaining a ridiculously wealthy family being the only way several characters think they can have a good/secure life, to the only non-white people associated with the family being among their hired and quickly-forgotten help, to their fortune being built on games rather than socially-helpful endeavors (not that diversions aren’t important) as if they’ve never had to take anything but this ritual seriously (not to mention the literal deal with the devil alleviating any hard work they might’ve had to do to make said fortune), to the flimsy “this is just how I was raised” excuse Alex and Georgie give. Given that the butler Stevens (John Ralston), Tony, and Helene are the most effective/vicious hunters, there’s also a vibe that the old white people are the ones fighting hardest to maintain their traditions (sometimes even if they know they don’t make sense anymore) and way of life by using the younger generation as expendable pawns and targets. Even when outside authority figures are trying to be helpful, they’re ultimately playing into the Le Domas family’s interests instead of the common person’s, like when Grace explains that she’s being hunted and the family car’s security agent Justin (Nat Faxon) turns the car off (since it’s been reported stolen) while offering half-meant hopes (and prayers?) that she makes it out alive. 

The score is fun (and the Hide & Seek song is very creepy!), while the production design of the Le Domas mansion and the movie in general feels perfectly fitting for this kind of story (as others online have pointed out). The pacing is excellent, giving us enough time to get to know Grace and her new family in the first act before everything goes crazy, which also gives her a glimpse of the life she wants before ripping it away and lets them play some relatable “dealing with the in-laws” gags. Once the game begins, the comedy and thrills don’t stop until the end!

Ready or Not continues the steady build of solid horror movies heading into the Halloween season this year! I can’t wait to pick it up on Blu-ray. It’s definitely a blast and it’s more than worth a trip to the theater to see it!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!  

#ready or not

[artificialqueens]

i’ll be your biggest fan and you’ll be mine (Scyvie) - cokewhore

a/n: hi!!!! this was originally a trixya fic from last december that i found on my wattpad account but i tweaked it a bit to be scyvie because that ship is in some serious drought rn and also!! this is my first aq submission and lowercase is intended but anyways, enjoy!

“hey! give that back!”

“kiss me on the cheek first.”

another normal day at yvie’s little bedroom, the birds outside were chirping even though it was seven pm, so.. maybe they were crickets, or birds, or whatever. neithertheless, they were having fun.

scarlet getting all flirty and playful and all that, it was fine, yvie knew she was joking, there was still the lingering thought of maybe she wasn’t joking at all, but yvie ignores that because scarlet’s her friend, her bestfriend for that fact.

scarlet was waving yvie’s vandalised yet rhinestoned ukulele and waving it around the room and threatening to mess up the tuning heads if she doesn’t get a smooch from one of her cheeks.

yvie was struggling to catch up with scarlet who was running around her room; she couldn’t catch up because of her dumb stomach ache she got because of eating too much junk food earlier.it wasn’t her fault, it was some kentucky idiot’s fault.

her goal was to try and get her customized instrument back without leaving her new red lipstick on anyone’s cheeks, she was failing though. “scarlet, what the hell! just give it back!” she begs, her hand being thrown at the direction of said girl’s arms who were carrying her possesion, awfully failing when scarlet ran to another corner.

“no.” she said simply, her blonde hair stuck to her wet forehead because that’s how long they’ve been chasing eachother, long enough for scarlet to start sweating, well, not very long since she’s known for sweating almost too easily. “kiss me on the cheek, yvieeee.” she stops her tracks, turns her head then leans her right cheek to yvie, cheekily smiling; asking for what she’s been manifesting for for atleast five minutes now. “pleaseeeeee.” she draws out, visibly seeing the roll from her friend’s brown eyes.

“you’re an idiot.” said yvie, crossing her arms across her thin chest while still seeing that scarlet wasn’t going to leave if she didn’t get a kiss. “i’m doing this because i want my ukulele back, not because i wanna kiss your cheek… or anything.” she explains unnecessarily as she pecks her plump lips to her friend’s cheeks, closing her eyes in the process.

she pulled away shortly, acting like she was so bored out of her mind as if that little peck on the older girl’s cheek wasn’t important. “can i have it back now?” she asks, still keeping on her disinterested mask on her face.

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” scarlet hands yvie her instrument, a small blush creeping up to her face as she did, it could be easily mistaken for something else because she was hot and sweating her mind out, but it wasn’t. she sits down to yvie’s bed to where the other one follows.

yvie pulled down the elastic that was holding up her pink hair, it wasn’t doing a very good job of holding her thick hair up because it literally didn’t look and feel like a ponytail anymore so what was the point of keeping it on? she strums her ukulele then feeling her ear drums ache after she heard of what lineup of vibrations came out the sound hole. “you messed up the chords!” she exclaims with a mix of anger and sadness (she’s not actually angry at scarlet, she can’t do that for the sake of her life) desperation shining through when she furiously turns the tuning heads in hopes of the chords’ original sounds coming back.

“no i didn’t.” scarlet found yvie’s desire to get her graffiti ukulele to work amusing, but yvie didn’t find her own struggle entertaining like her best fried did, she was determined to get her dumb ukulele to sound the way it sounded when she was playing her songs in the same spot on her bed late at night, or the way it sounded when she writing down her first song, it was about her sorrow when she found out that scarlet’s mom said that they should stop being friends, that was two years ago though.

her determination left them both in a silence where everything was boring to scarlet, always finding something to be fond of even though there was nothing to interesting enough to pursue interest in, she was used to it, waiting for yvie to finish whatever she was doing because she was always doing something, she was the student government president after all, scarlet has learned nothing but how to put up with her dumb rants about their high school life during their high school carreer.

but to add to the fire, who would listen to someone with pink hair?

yvie shouldn’t have even agreed to being a part of the student government in the first place , she wishes she could resign even though it’s been only four months in but she already hates it because no one takes her seriously, she doesn’t know why though, she’s a great leader, she made scarlet wear a black shirt for a day, that proves something.

it was her fault though, scarlet tried to push her out of this president position but she wouldn’t listen, and now she’s regretting that she didn’t listen. “you’re paying for this.” yvie muttered under her breath, her head still directed to the tuning heads, not looking up one bit to clash with her friend’s blue eyes.

“no i’m not.” scarlet replies simply, stroking yvie’s headboard lightly with her thumb, that’s how bored she was, but she thought she shouldn’t bother yvie since she was so invested in fixing her stupid wood guitar wannabe or whatever, scarlet knew better than not to bother yvie when she’s doing something important, or to bother anyone at all, yes, she’s playful and really touchy and clingy at all times but once she knows it’s time to step back; she will.

so that’s what she’s doing right now, waiting for yvie to finish her ‘pointless’ (atleast in scarlet’s words) tuning and talk to her already, she was taught to be patient, that didn’t always work out but miraculously scarlet’s working with time and actually waiting.

“it actually won’t work and it’s all your fault.” yvie pouts, her fading red bottom lip stuck out from the rest of her face as she spoke with agitation. “i can’t believe this.”

“aww, cheer up, buttercup.” scarlet cooed as she pinches her cheeks, yvie just rolls her eyes, not at scarley, but the stupid nickname she gave her. “i’ll buy you a new one for christmas.” her tone was no joking matter, even though she just said she wasn’t paying for the damage, she was serious, but yvie didn’t catch that and decided to swing with the imaginary gag of scarlet’s words.

“okay, yeah, and you’ll also finally learn how to dance.” yvie retorts, recalling all the times scarlet tried to dance during school events then laughing after she saw how defeated the blonde looked, maybe because her offer was all along fake and not gonna happen to begin with? “see, now you look like a loser because i caught you in your act.” she adds, chunks of boastful undertones paired with her statement to her bestfriend.

“oh please, it wasn’t like i was kidding, bridges.” scarlet will actually buy a ukulele for yvie, it doesn’t matter if the one yvie’s trying to tune turns fine because it looks ridiculous and something a five year old would own, just scarlet’s opinion. she’s doing her a favor more than anything, really. “can you believe me just this once?”

yvie mutters ‘fine’ before focusing on her ukulele for the hundredth time, before communicating with scarlet again, her head still faced on her untuned instrument. “you don’t have to buy me the ukulele, scar.”

scarlet just chuckles at that. “i’m still going to. you can’t stop me.” she says, staring at yvie. “nothing’s ever gonna stop me to buy you a new one.”

“why?”

“because your 'artistic’ one is ugly, to be honest with you.” scarlet states, not caring if yvie gets offended because it was the truth, or her truth anyways because yvie seems to think her truth is a whole load of bullshit.

“that’s crazy talk.” yvie dismisses, not even looking at her friend as she was fixing the chords, she probably shouldn’t go that fast but she is anyways, fully aware that the ukulele itself might break because of how agressive she turns the tune heads.

“your mom’s crazy talk.” she hears scarlet retort and she holds back a laugh as she’s supposed to be focused, she can’t just break her streak of being very intense by that stupid your mom joke.

“i’m telling her.”

after their short banter, it stayed silent, again, well, not really, the air was mostly just correction tuned chords from the messy stoned sound hole, it was getting annoying but scarlet had no say in it, who can she blame? only herself for thinking that messing with the tuneheads was a good idea.

one of them breaks the tranquility, with a groundbreaking question, not really but whatever. “you know i love you, right?” scarlet asks, out of the blue. it isn’t supposed to be taken as romantic, but yvie didn’t know how to take it, she doesn’t know how those words should translate in her brain because they were so heavy in her opinion.

“huh?” yvie doesn’t know if she was hearing things. well, she heard scarlet, she just wasn’t sure if she was hearing her right. “what’d you say, scar?”

“i said i love you.” she said again, this time, she’s looking at yvie and sustaining the contact they hold with their different colored eyes. “you know that, right?”

yvie just widens her eyes, she didn’t know what she meant, but she’ll answer anyways. “y-yeah, ofcourse i do.” she nods rapidly, stuttering too which is rare for her, her face is getting really red too. maybe it’s because it’s really hot in here or maybe… it’s because yvie is being really hot right now. either of the two makes sense. “i love you too.” she adds hesistantly.

scarlet smiles at how flustered yvie is. she didn’t know why scarlet was saying that when she’s been an ass to her so much. (exhibit a: yvie telling at scarlet that she’s a bitch because she messed up yvie’s painting) or all the times she’s made her wait just so yvie can have someone to walk with from school. scarlet has weirdly always been there by her side, no matter how hostile yvie can get sometimes. “i just thought that i should remind you because you do all these things for me, it’s insane but also lovely at the same time.”

“well, i do those things for you because i- i don’t know i- i just like seeing you happy, so…” yvie shrugs, she definitely doesn’t know what she’s talking about, this situation is weird for her. too much seriousness for her, which is kinda hypocritical because the air was as serious as when she was with her ukulele.

“that’s sweet of you, but don’t i get tiring?” scarlet finally looks up to face yvie who’s eyes are still wide and big. “like sometimes i’m annoying and then you know i know i’m being annoying and you get annoyed by it but-“ she was rambling, but yvie didn’t mind, she’d listen to her voice all day. “and like right now i messed up your ukulele. sorry for that, by the way.“

“bitch! i’m even worse! i don’t even know how you put up with me.” yvie suddenly bursts in laughter and seeing scarlet join her in laughing made her happy, everything about her made her happy.

as the laughter died down, scarlet deadpans and says “true.” and yvie immediately drops her face as she was trying to look for a tone of a joker, but her face was not hinting anything.

“wait what-“

“i’m kidding!”

and then she lets out a sigh of relief.

“well, i guess we’re even then.” yvie chuckles, she strums her ukulele again only to find out that it’s finally tuned, thank god. “hey, look! you don’t have to buy me that ukulele anymore.” she beams at scarlet, showing off her teeth which made scarlet mirror her reaction.

she’s never been this confused her entire life because a new wave of feelings came in her, they were so unfamiliar but she swears she’s heard about descriptions of this feeling from her friends, she doesn’t know what it is, but she’ll figure it out soon, and soon because her mind just stopped working when scarlet replied.

“bet.”

#rpdr fanfiction #scyvie #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #fluff #best friends #crushes #soft #lesbian au #high school au #cokewhore #concrit welcome #submission