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fadedin2u · 5 months

Text

pick up and roll the dice - ch. 3

read in between the lines, i know you love me…

summary: you plan a surprise for ellie’s birthday, and ellie’s doesn’t know what to do about her overwhelming feelings for you.

content: college!au, childhood best friends!au, dealer!ellie, fem!reader, modern!au, ellie is a simp (not surprising), ur also a simp, art major!ellie, kinda slow burn??

word count: 2k

warnings: none really for this chapter!! expect nsfw chapters in the future so MDNI 18+

notes: it bums me tf out how little attention ellie fluff gets on tumblr, but i love writing this series, so if u like to read it, like/reblogs are SO appreciated

read chapters one and two here!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

The day after the party, Ellie’s a wreck. She barely got a wink of sleep that night, unable to stop ruminating on how much she’s fucking up her friendship with you by having this soul-consuming want for you. It’s not like Ellie doesn’t know how bad this could all end. You’re not only her closest friend, one of the few people she actually trusts, but you’re her goddamn roommate. If Ellie fucks this up, there’s no escaping the awkwardness that would inevitably ensue, plus risk losing you completely.

So, she texts Kylie.

E: hey, sorry for going MIA lmao, things got busy, would u wanna grab dinner w me on friday?

Ellie sits down on her bed and rubs her temples. She doesn’t even like Kylie very much, but she’s available, and she’s clearly interested in Ellie, so at the very least Kylie can be a distraction from you.

Ellie feels a black hole of guilt swirling in her stomach from leading Kylie on, but it dissipates as quickly as it came on when you burst through into dorm, kicking off your shoes that you wore to your morning classes. Ellie, usually, is still asleep when you leave for classes, but this morning, she was just lying in bed, completely awake, as she listened to you getting ready, pushing through your hangover.

“Happy 20th Birthday eve!” You exclaim, giving Ellie a bright, cheeky grin.

She rolls her eyes, trying to conceal her smile, “You’re such a fucking dork.

You shrug and laugh, “Hey, it takes one to know one.”

You notice the dark circles under her eyes and frown slightly, “You look like shit.”

Ellie huffs a laugh, “Thanks.”

You sit across from Ellie on your own dorm-style twin bed. “You’re free tomorrow, right?”

Ellie nods, “I’m getting breakfast with Joel that morning, but yeah, I’ll be free after.”

You grin, and mischievous look on your face, “Good.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

You shake your head, “Nah, you’ll love it. I just can’t wait to see your reaction. Just make sure you’re here at the dorm by 5pm, okay?”

Ellie puts up her hand, raising two fingers, “Scout’s honor.”

You snort, standing up to walk to the bathroom, “That’d probably mean more if you were actually a Scout.”

Ellie scoffs, “I know way more about survival than any of those dipshits, I’m basically an honorary scout, if you think about it.”

You rolls your eyes and laugh, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Els.”

—————

The next day, Ellie’s playing the guitar that Joel made her for her birthday when you walk into the dorm at 5pm sharp.

“Happy Birthday Ellie-Bellie!” You exclaim, knowing her deep-seated hatred for her childhood nickname as you throw a handful of streamers in her direction.

She keeps herself from laughing, “You’re cleaning that up, right?”

You give her a look, “No, I was planning on making you my maid on your birthday. Now come on, we need to get going!”

She puts her guitar to the side and stands up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her t-shirt and cargo pants with her hands.

“Is that from Joel?” You ask, motioning to the guitar.

Ellie nods and smiles wide, “Yeah, he made it for me, it’s super sweet.”

You examine the guitar’s craftsmanship as Ellie laces up her converse.

“You’re not driving right?” She asks.

You give her another look, “I have to, it’s a surprise destination. You can’t drive somewhere you don’t even know you’re going to.”

She groans, “And to think I didn’t even give Joel a proper goodbye.”

You kick her shin playfully, “Shut up, you’ll be fine. I’m an… okay driver.”

Ellie starts walking out of the dorm building with you, “Does an ‘okay driver’ almost commit vehicular manslaughter twice?”

Your face goes hot, “Those kids appeared out of no where, and I stand by that. Besides, the key word is ‘almost’, babe.”

Ellie doesn’t look convinced.

“Besides, you get to be my passenger princess for today,” You say with an obnoxiously cocky grin as you walk into the parking lot.

Ellie rubs her face, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You giggle and walk up to your car, opening the passenger door for Ellie, to which Ellie rolls her eyes at, but you can see that she’s trying not to smile.

You hop in the driver’s seat and say, “Birthday girl gets aux.”

Ellie plays a lot of 80s music during your drive into the city to her surprise destination, her taste in music developed during her years living with Joel. Halfway through Take On Me by A-ha, you pull into a parking lot.

You and Ellie get out of the car and you start leading her to a large building. Once you two can see the sign that reads “The Hansen Planetarium”, a giddy grin breaks out on Ellie’s face.

“Oh fuck yeah, we’re going to the planetarium?!” Ellie asks, walking faster.

You laugh and catch up with her, “What can I say? I know my girl.”

Ellie’s face goes a bit pink and she tucks some loose hair from her half-up bun behind her ear, “Yeah, I guess you do.”

You show the person at the planetarium’s front desk your confirmation for the tickets you bought beforehand, and you go inside.

Ellie stops to read nearly every blurb that’s written in front of each display, and you patiently wait for her, wanting her to take her time and fully enjoy the experience.

In between reading and examining the exhibits, Ellie is listing off factoid after factoid.

“Y’know, Neptune’s only made one full orbit around the sun since its discovery.”

“There’s actually some gravity on the International Space Station, which is kinda weird honestly.”

“Dude, do you know that the moon is really shaped like a lemon?”

You raise an eyebrow at that one, “You’re lying.”

Ellie laughs, “I am not! It’s fucking crazy! It looks round in the night sky, but I swear on my life it’s really shaped like a lemon.”

You shrug, still doubtful but accepting that Ellie’s probably not wrong, knowing her long-time obsession with space.

By the time you’ve made it through the all of the exhibits, Ellie is a little bummed.

“I almost wish there was more to look at, I don’t wanna say goodbye yet,” she says and your lips quirk up into a knowing smile.

“Yeah, it sure is too bad that there’s nothing else to do. On an unrelated note, follow me.”

You lead Ellie to the entrance of the Dome Theater inside the planetarium, and Ellie’s eyes light up when she reads the sign.

“Rock the Dome? Dude. Is this a laser show?”

You laugh and nod, glad that you guessed correctly that Ellie, the nerd she is, would be genuinely excited about this.

Ellie pulls you into a tight hug, “What the fuck? You know me too well.”

Your cheeks go hot and you giggle a little, “Well, at least we can agree on that.”

You give the Usher the tickets you pre-paid for, and let Ellie pick your seats in the Dome Theater, the night sky projected onto the curved walls surrounding you.

When she sits, you sit next to her and she immediately grabs your hand.

“Thank you. Seriously. This is… Genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.” Ellie says, squeezing your hand with a soft look in her eyes.

You squeeze her hand back, hoping you don’t look as flustered as you feel. “It’s seriously no big deal, Els. You’re my best friend, you deserve this.”

Ellie looks down at her lap and smiles a little, but doesn’t let go of your hand as the laser show starts, fog machines starting to pump out misty clouds into the room that makes the light from the lasers almost look solid.

Your mind is racing as the music comes on, mesmerizing the crowd with the lasers dancing in coordination, ‘This is platonic, right? This has to be platonic. Ellie’s just being appreciative of what I did for her. Jesus fucking Christ, maybe this isn’t platonic?’

You decided to not think about it too much at that moment, and try to enjoy the spectacle of color and light before your eyes.

———

The show included a lot of classic rock from the 80s, including Queen, the Stones, Bowie, Talking Heads, and The Clash. Ellie was awestruck, singing under her breath to every song that she knew, while you tried not to smile too big at how cute she was being.

By the time you two are back at the dorm, Ellie is completely over the moon.

“This was seriously the best birthday I’ve had yet. A new guitar from Joel, planetarium, and a laser show? This day fuckin’ ruled.”

You giggle and go over to your closet, “Well, it’s not quite over yet.”

Ellie narrows her eyes, “No way. You’ve already done so much.”

You pull a thin, wrapped gift from the top of your small closet, and bring it over to where Ellie’s standing.

“I wanted to do so much,” You say, rubbing the back of your neck.

Ellie takes the gift from you and sits down on her bed, intrigued.

“Can I open it?” She asks.

You laugh, “No, I just brought over your birthday gift so you could check out my wrapping job. Go open it, dumbass.”

Ellie chuckles and tears open the wrapping paper, her face morphing into shock as she sees the Special Edition “Savage Starlight” comic book in her hands.

“Holy fuck,” Ellie says, staring at it a second longer before nearly lunging forward to hug you.

You stumble back a bit, laughing as you wrap your arms around her as well.

“I’m guessing that was a good choice?”

Ellie guffaws, “Are you fucking kidding? It’s perfect. How the fuck did you find this, dude?”

You shrug , smiling to yourself, “I have my ways.”

Ellie pulls back from the hug, her freckled face a little pink as she looks back down at the comic book.

“This is too much. Like, way too much.”

You shrug, “Once again, you deserve it.”

Ellie looks down, smiling to herself, “Still. You’re just… This is so fucking thoughtful.”

You laugh a little, feeling flustered by this whole interaction, “What can I say? I have a lot of thoughts in this head, I gotta make good use of them.”

‘So fucking dumb, oh my god,’ you think to yourself, wincing at your response.

Ellie rolls her eyes at you, but her grin is huge and pure. “I’m gonna use the bathroom super quick, but do you wanna read it with me after?”

You smile wide, sitting on her bed, “Absolutely.”

Ellie races to your shared bathroom, and as she’s gone, you pull out your phone and scroll absentmindedly.

You’re pulled away from your phone when you hear Ellie’s phone buzz on her bedside table, right next to you, the screen lit up.

Before you have time to shame yourself for intruding on her personal business, you glance over at her screen, where a text is shown:

Kylie: I would love that! :) what time were you thinking?

Your stomach fills with dread and complete embarrassment. You should’ve known better than to think that Ellie holding your hand was anything more than platonic, that Ellie would ever see you more than her best friend. You knew that Ellie has never, and will never see you the way you see her, and you still let yourself get butt hurt over something as stupid as her getting a text from someone else.

‘I’m so fucking dumb, this is my own damn fault for getting my hopes up.’

You try to go back to scrolling through your phone, but your churning stomach keeps distracting you from thinking about what’s on your own screen, still thinking about the text you saw on Ellie’s.

When Ellie comes back in the room, she tears open the plastic packaging on the comic book and tosses herself onto her bed, pressed against you.

You move away from her slightly, “You ready?”

Ellie’s chest pangs with slight hurt, seeing you distance yourself from her.

“Uh, yeah! Let’s see what the Traveler’s are up to this time,” She says, trying to cover up how let down she is that you clearly don’t want to cuddle with her as usual.

You cross your arms and legs, leaning against the wall against Ellie’s bed. You’re barely able to see the full page of the comic book, but you don’t really care, it’s not like you’ll be able to think of anything except for that text.

Ellie glances over at you, her face crestfallen as she bites her lip, before pulling it together and getting into her “narrator” voice.

“The year is 2186, light years away from planet Earth…”

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

read texts w/ reader and ellie here

i realized i don’t have a taglist for this so lmk if you’d like to be added!

taglist: @elsbabyxx @mikellie

#rose writes #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 #tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie fluff #ellie williams fluff #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader

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luveline · 2 years

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hi!! im pretty sure your requests are open, but if they’re not feel free to ignore this. i keep thinking about holding steve’s hand or like holding onto his bicep. especially in public and with a shy reader. i just want a steve and i want him to hold my hand when im feeling anxious

thank you for ur request! ♡ shy!gn!reader | 1k words

Steve can see you hesitating from the corner of his eye. The lunch club (minus its Californian counterparts) have all somehow managed to fit inside the 733i, survive the journey up to Indianapolis city centre, and now meander through a mall that feels bigger than Hawkins' in its entirety.

Robin and Max are talking about something Steve is too 'boy' to understand, apparently, and you're getting your ear talked off by Eddie and Dustin, though their nerd explosion seems pretty self contained. You're more of a bystander than an active part of the conversation.

And Steve knows it isn't their fault that you're anxious. It's just how you get sometimes, especially in places like this: it's loud, it's busy, people rush past and don't stop.

He holds his hand out across the way. You smile at him shyly and move from Eddie's left, almost stepping on Dustin's rubber toes as you cross the walkway and take Steve's hand.

Your hand is cold. He gives your fingers a good squeeze and pulls you close, your elbows brushing with every step forward.

"Look, there it is!" Dustin says excitedly.

Steve looks forward and finds a bad dream in front of him – a nerd store. Dork paraphernalia lines the windows, merchandise and action figures, posters boasting comic books and the newest sci-fi novels.

"Oh my god," he groans, tipping his head back just slightly. The ceiling is out of reach, big glass skylights that showcase the blue sky outside. "I can't believe we're gonna waste one of the hottest days of the year here."

Your fingers jump in his. He pulls his gaze back to you and is less than pleased with what he finds. You're tense, your back a stiff board, your shoulders rising slowly towards your ears and your eyes glued to the floor.

"Don't be a jock," Max says.

"Let's not stereotype our dear Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so smooth he knows what's coming before it happens, "he's not a jock. You have to actually play a sport to be a jock. Steve's more like, a washout." He says 'washout' with feigned perplexion.

Steve knows he's only joking – Eddie's funny, and despite any better judgement Steve really likes him these days. It's the perfect invitation for some bantering back and forth. He can feel something scathing on the tip of his tongue and Eddie looks excited to hear it, but you make this really small sound that stops Steve dead. A ragged inhale.

He smiles at Eddie and the metalhead looks surprised and then understanding, him and Robin ushering the kids inside the store.

You're in your own head enough not to notice their departure.

Steve walks past the store slowly, squeezing your hand in time to a song he can't hear. "Babe, are you hungry? I saw a pretzel stand somewhere on the map."

You blink and look up at him. You finally notice that you're alone and turn in a half circle, your joined hands tugging against your chest as you do. "Where did everyone go?"

"That weird nerd haven. I'm selfish so I thought we'd give it a miss. Do you care?" he asks lightly.

Your smile is chest-aching in its softness. "No. And yeah, uh… I'm hungry if you are."

He takes his hand from yours and draws close, head inclined to yours as he takes your warm cheek into his palm. "Thanks, baby. You're the best."

Your expression slackens. Steve loves to get you like this, loves to melt you to the bone with small, soft touches and pet names that you clearly adore even when you scold him like you do.

"Stop," you whisper. You're smiling so much it barely sounds like a word, more a fond sound, the 'o' completely disappearing.

"Sorry," he says. He moves his hand to kiss your cheek where it had been and then taps your shoulder lightly. "It's this way."

Your hand tucks itself between his torso and his arm, fingers curling around his bicep. Steve worries he might blush at your careful touch, feeling shy himself for once as he walks you both through the crowd to join the line for pretzels.

"You okay?" he murmurs to you.

You step closer until the side of your converse touches his. "It's… yeah, I'm okay."

"No, tell me. Honestly," he says, gentle but pleading.

Your hand tightens incrementally around his skin. He covers your fingertips peeking out with his hand and leans down, waiting. Your head drops into his arm.

"I'm really okay, it's only…" Your voice lightens a little. "My heart's, like, racing."

He isn't happy to hear that. "God, I'm sorry. I'll try to stop being so handsome," he jokes in efforts to get you to smile.

It works. You laugh, bringing your other hand to his arm as you say, "It would be a big help."

And to hear you joking around is always something he can't handle, it makes him weirdly, stupidly happy.

He laughs a riot and you come apart, drifting away from each other to giggle. Your hand stays firmly wedged in that place between his arm and his chest, but your grip relaxes.

"Just- you know. Let me know if you need to find somewhere quiet, okay?" he asks.

"I will. Thanks, Stevie." You say it like you're embarrassed, your eyes to the floor again. He wrinkles his nose.

"You're welcome. If you wanna find somewhere secluded for other reasons, I wouldn't be opposed to that either. For your information only, of course."

"Other reasons," you repeat wryly, giving him a knowing look from under your lashes.

He winks at you. It's not a good wink. You giggle and a lot of the stiffness you'd held before falls away. Not all of it, but Steve thinks it's a pretty good start.

#steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things

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laufire · 25 days

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This is redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog, returning fire with the character ask game :3

For Jason: 23. Fav picture of this character 24. What character from another fandom reminds you of them? 26. Freebie question! What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be? (Saw ur tags about that hehehe)

I might come back with other characters, but just Jason for now cause it's WAY passed my bedtime

Fav picture of this character

there are so many options... (see: my header of his hamlet moment). but I'm going to go with this one, from batman annual #25.

I fucking love a character climbing out of his own grave. and that lightning bolt is so frankenstein of him <3

What character from another fandom reminds you of them?

my mind is wired to draw parallels and comparisons, and I happen to be rewatching a tv show (the 100, one of those "it could be so good if it was good" things xD) where sometimes it seems that all my favourite characters have some jason-coded moments and traits lol.

BUT. among all of them, we definitely need to talk about john murphy!!! he's my #1 in that show (with some strong competition), because I love his journey. he really started being... well, what dc regularly tries to convince us robin!jason was: a mean, angry teen, product of his society, who lashed out at people once he could, because he had been wronged himself. this show gave him far more grace about it (even during his messy revenge quest lol), and in season 2 they landed on a really potent love story with him and another character, emori (another outcast in her own society, this time because she was born with a mutation, that survived by stealing from others) that ended up catapulting him to Romantic Hero status in a way s1!murphy couldn't have dreamed of lmao. it was great.

even his backstory (which he's given in the first episode of s2) is. very jason añdslkfjasf. two important things about this gifset is a) the girl here, raven (another favourite), has a similar backstory (alcoholic mother who failed to take care of her, raven would've starved if not for the kindness of her neightbour & childhood sweetheart). she's taunting murphy because a few episodes before murphy shot her in the spine (he didn't intend to hurt her but it wasn't exactly an accident. part of his messy revenge quest against a -barely- adult who failed him lol). she hates him, and yet she clearly can't help but empathise </3. a few episodes later she tries to get him killed to save her ex <3. in a few seasons they'll become best friends <3. as far as I'm concerned she's memori's third <333

a few other things in favour of "jason-coded murphy" are this post, or the fact that at one point murphy had to use sex to survive in a way I personally headcanon jason doing (I've actually drawn some comparisons between that plot and nightwing/tarantula but only stylistic ones; plot-wise it's a very different situation where he displays an attitude closer to what I imagine jason doing).

What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be?

alñsdkfjasdf I can't believe I'm going to talk more about other characters than about jason but here we are lol.

anyway first of all, unlike many people in this fandom, jason is a smart cookie capable of differentiating fact from fiction, who could recognise heathcliff did some really fucked shit against undeserving people and still appreciate the hell out of him as the fascinating character he is. tyvm. that said, he's also someone who gets very personal about literature xD

one thing about heathcliff is that he does what some people argue jason is doing when he "targets" tim or mia (or damian, but that's bftc and fandom has more or less accepted that it's a mess, and also damian isn't white :))). aka, he's (a grown man!!) viciously, hatefully going after innocent children for the sins of their fathers!! for shame. sorry but that's not even true in bftc or hush (the situations there were very messy and the writers desperately needed medical consultants to make them make any sense, get off his dick xD), but definitely not true for titans tower or seeing red. jason was NOT trying to kill these teens (a few years younger than him at most), he's never wanted them death, and he's never even aimed to caused grievious, irreparable damage. again, get off his dick :P

but it's interesting to me thinking about jason reading the book for the very first time during the lost days era, in particular. he would empathise with heathcliff's desire for revenge, but I don't think he'd ~relate as strongly to him as some people think. yes, there is mistreatment in their youths and the revenge plot (after heathcliff does whateve he does in his own lost days period lol); there's even possible racial ambiguity in common, if we take into account the shiva thing. and he'd half-mindedly draw some links between bruce and earnshaw senior and, if he's feeling ungenerous lol, between dick and hindley, but nothing particularly strong, imo.

but I can see even this faint link being enough to have him pondering his own lines, what he's willing to do once he returns and what he isn't. and it's a fact that jason crossed some of his own purported lines, because he was too in his head about bruce or because they were convenient at the moment or because of all other reasons. and I picture him rereading the book years down the road, and grappling with that fact. wondering if heathcliff had drawn his own lines beforehand or gone all in from the beginning, wondering if he had any regrets.

otherwise, he would appreciate heathcliff as the force he is in the narrative, while being utterly disgusted by some of his actions. at the same time he'd be really wary of the unreliable narration (I imagine him thinking nelly gives all the lintons too much grace, even if he obviously would think heathcliff's actions towards isabella and cathy are undefensible). I also believe he's ready to fist-fight anyone that supported the "monstrous" readings of heathcliff as something inhuman, as some supernatural force of nature. heathcliff, to him, is utterly human.

ALSO. jason is definitely that bitch who reads the FUCKING UNHINGED SHIT (x, x, x, x, x) catherine and heathcliff say about each other and be like. why can't that be me 😭. he's fucking unwell.

(and feel free to ask me about any other character you want! or any extra questions about jason lol)

#replies #redhoodinternaldialectical #thank you sm i had a lot of fun with this one lol #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #t100 thoughts #wuthering heights thoughts #jason todd #john murphy #everything i love is the same #heathcliff #dc comics

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nerdy-talks · 1 year

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I agree with your opinion and thoughts about Solomon and him asking us to side with humanity... I love solomon, and his ideas and priorities are admirable, really! But I'm pretty sure his ways of execution to reach those ideals and fulfill his goals, for humanity to be seen as a race worthy to be seen as an equal, isn't the only plausible way.

Not to mention that humanity can still be seen as a strong race without us having to hover at each other's throats and without instigating into an all out war. We can still reach a middle ground through our peaceful and understanding approach. Like us giving the grimoire to Lucifer, man was seething at Mc out of worry and fear for his brothers, which was completely understandable, but us handing out the grimoire could possibly give us brownie points into regaining Lucifer's trust back. I'm pretty the MC isn't THAT stupid.

So maybe the MC's approach through peace and trust is better than any of other race's approach, which is guided by their own power, biases, prejudice and preconceived notions, etc...

And sure let's say that Solomon is 100% on our side, the way he acts with us sometimes could really tip off our perspective towards him from good to bad and vice versa. And this man has the balls to warn us about time paradoxes and shi when he chose to make a pact with Asmodeus early than supposed to... you're the strongest sorcerer... just use ur powers to kill the spider bro or summon Barbatos instead early on instead💀 (Lesson 7?)

I apologize for my late response, precious anon! Yesterday was a little hectic, so I didn't see your ask until now ^^"

But I have a LOT to say, so hopefully this long-winded reply makes up for the delay lol

Let me start by saying that I genuinely appreciate your insight and I also agree with you 100%

I feel like there's still so much that hasn't been revealed to us yet, especially regarding Solomon's past. I've already given my own theories thus far, but I am particularly curious why Solomon thinks that war is even a viable option. What makes him feel this way? What exactly caused the last war he fought pretty much on his own?

Potential Spoilers

What I do find interesting is the information we have been given, though.

In 9-A, some of those prejudices and biases are shown when Solomon ends up in what is clearly an illusion of sorts.

And personally... I would absolutely love to debate and counter all of these assumptions and misjudgments.

In comparison to demons and angels... humans may be more prone to illness, injuries, and death. But that's literally what makes us human.

Despite this, I argue that it does not make humans fragile or weak. We are resilient. We rebound and recover from all sorts of terrible experiences. We survive and overcome trauma. We suffer loss yet do our best to keep our heads up. We fight and push forward through life. We may be human, but we are not to be pitied or underestimated.

I also argue the point of humans needing angels to "protect" us. Yes, there are humans who believe in guardian angels because that is what many of us were taught growing up. Humans want to believe in an afterlife, of a peaceful paradise after this life.

But what about humans who don't share those same beliefs? What about tragic events that occur every day where humans end up dying through no fault of their own? What about humans who feel as though God has forsaken them for whatever reason, whether it be due to illness, loss, or other unfortunate circumstances that have negatively impacted them? For those humans, it seems like no angel is looking out for them or "protecting" them.

My first argument to this mindset : What could a demon possibly understand about a human's path in life? That's like us telling Diavolo how to run the Devildom. It's a topic we are completely ignorant of, therefore we have no business calling the shots.

Not only that, but every single human being is different and unique in their own way. While one path may be good for one person, it may be detrimental for the next person. Also.... I believe that sometimes, humans need to lose their way in order to grow and become wiser.

Speaking from personal experience, I became "lost" more than once to the point where I used to cry and wish that it was possible for someone to come save me from the pain I was experiencing at that moment in time. But even if a demon magically appeared and offered to lead me someplace where I'd be able to find happiness... I would be highly skeptical. What is their definition of "happy"? How do they know I even have a chance at finding happiness? Where exactly would they be leading me? What would they want in return?

For argument's sake, I will admit that I may take a demon up on that offer even now. But it would be out of pure curiosity, not because I actually think I'd be able to find happiness. Which leads me to my next point : demons deceive humans with sweet words in order to drag them into the darkness

I have heard this saying and similar ones numerous times before (Luke even said something along the lines of demons using honeyed words to get others to do their bidding), and I feel like it is perfectly accurate in this scenario too.

Diavolo would be promising a lost, confused, and more than likely desperate human the chance to be happy, and all they would have to do is follow him to some unknown place. Seems way too good to be true, in my opinion.

So that's not "helping" humans.... That's confusing them even more and leading them further away from their path in life (at least within the Human World, since it sounds like Diavolo would take them to the Devildom/Hell. Though I'm just speculating there)

Then in 10-A, it is revealed that this illusion was conjured up by "Nightbringer".

Side note : since this is where Barbatos sent Solomon when he teleported him, it makes me question if Barbatos has connections to Nightbringer... or is somehow Nightbringer himself?

Either way, I found this question interesting :

Solomon is convinced that we share his beliefs and viewpoints, that we'll agree with him and help him fight for the sake of humanity despite saying that he is "not trying to make an enemy" out of either demons or angels .... Which as Nightbringer pointed out, is an awfully overconfident statement to make.

I found this both interesting as well as funny.

Solomon is against demons and angels judging humans, yet he is acting like he knows us inside and out. Don't get me wrong, I love Solomon too. But isn't that a bit hypocritical?

He may have a very close connection/relationship to us, but he obviously doesn't know our heart well enough if he honestly believes that we would turn our back on the brothers and support the idea of a war against them.

As you pointed out, anon... Solomon's delusions beliefs definitely tip the scales when it comes to us wondering if he's genuinely on our side or if he has some kind of hidden agenda that he needs our cooperation with in order for it to come to fruition.

And I absolutely agree with you! I don't know if Solomon has become senile in his old age or what, but he really went out of his way to warn us about the dangers of potentially altering the present if we do or say anything untoward.... Yet he goes and makes a pact with Asmo WAY sooner than he was supposed to. Uh, Solomon? What's with the double standards, buddy?

I really hate to say this, but it honestly does make me question if he used the whole "time paradox" spiel as an excuse to precipitate a conflict with Diavolo, Lucifer, and the others... Because Solomon must have known that if any of them found out MC was lying to them or keeping secrets from them, they would react accordingly (and yes, understandably so).

The latter was pretty much proven already, considering Solomon arrived right on time to save MC from Belphie once the brothers found out MC is actually human, then immediately proceeded to take them to a place where he thought they would be safe. It almost seems like it was planned from the start, if you ask me.

Another side note : And let's not forget where Solomon brought us. He was conveniently in reach of a grimoire that could successfully control Lucifer. Who has been wanting to make a pact with Lucifer for a very long time? Solomon. So I'm curious to know if Solomon did indeed plan all of this. If not to start a war, then maybe to try to force a pact with Lucifer? Because Solomon obviously knew that Lucifer was going to pursue MC and himself, hence why he brought MC to the Reaper's Cave (to get a bargaining chip... AKA the grimoire)

Side Note Number 3 : I find it especially interesting that the brothers threatened Solomon to bring MC back safe and sound. Is that because they suspect he might be up to something, too? Maybe they're worried that Solomon may try to use this opportunity to appeal to MC and have them side with him to escalate a war in the past, and that's why they basically used the promise of bodily dismemberment if he doesn't return with MC in the same condition they both left in.

Anyway, onto the next very important part :

I firmly believe the peaceful and understanding approach is the absolute best way to prove that humans are just as formidable as demons and angels.

My main reason for this belief is in regards to something Lucifer said :

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

MC knows the brothers better than anyone else. I'd even argue that at this point, MC knows the brothers even better than they know themselves.

MC can reach them in ways they aren't expecting, because MC can use their knowledge of the "present day" boys to properly handle them now. This has been shown numerous times already when MC helped them, encouraging them, and comforted them.

Even when MC gave Satan a few little tidbits about cats, it was a special moment between the two. MC knows that present!Satan loves cats, so they knew past!Satan would instantly be fascinated to learn more. Plus... What better way to quell the Avatar of Wrath's anger than an adorable, fluffy, purring little kitty? ^u^

MC also knew that Lucifer wasn't angry when he cast his spell and was lowkey threatening them. Instead, MC knew Lucifer was scared and worried about his brothers, that he didn't want to risk their safety because of some human who's intentions are currently unknown to him.

But I'm starting to get a little off topic here.... Let me go back to the statement Lucifer made.

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

MC can choose to blindly follow Solomon and side with humanity like he asked them to do, which may potentially lead to a war between humans, demons, and angels.

Or MC can choose to do things their own way.

As I said before, MC knows the brothers better than anyone else. So MC can reason with them and help them understand that MC only wants what is best for them.... Because MC loves them and cares about them (whether that's romantically or in a familial way is up to you, but it still remains true regardless).

And if MC chooses to do things their own way, which I predict is what will happen especially after the whole grimoire incident.... if that choice means that MC will have to go through a series of trials and tribulations, overcome obstacles and hurdles, and use every ounce of energy and effort to find common ground between the three worlds while avoiding war at all costs.... Isn't that the perfect way to prove just how strong, driven, tenacious, and capable humans are?

MC can open the eyes of both angels and demons to exactly what they, a human, can accomplish through sheer determination and willpower.

It can also be a wonderful opportunity to show both Simeon (an angel) and Lucifer (a demon) that MC (a human) is able to accomplish what neither of them did.

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

Lucifer made choices that resulted in war. MC can make choices to avoid a war.

Simeon regrets not speaking up back then, not reaching out and actively trying to get through to Lucifer. MC can do the opposite. MC can push and fight to prove their loyalty and dedication to the brothers, they can strive to enrich everyone's lives in a peaceful and nurturing way.

Knowing those two, I am absolutely positive that MC will unequivocally earn their respect this way if they choose this path. And if so... Not so weak and fragile after all, eh Simeon?~ ;D

Most importantly :

If MC makes their own choice to deliberately avoid a war/conflict because of their genuine love for the brothers, it will prove that being a human, demon, or angel is completely irrelevant when there is a mutual level of respect and understanding between two (or more) individuals.

Because let's face it.... We all know every one of the brothers is weak for us and will support us in any way they can. Even Mr. GrumpyPants Lucifer has a major soft spot for us. We just need to work towards rebuilding our relationships, strengthening our bonds, and reforging our pacts with them in this timeline.

But I'm sure MC will accomplish that, in their own way, on their own terms ^ᴗ^

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hamliet · 2 years

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What ur thoughts on Justin's love for Brian? Do u think Justin would move on from Brian and have a life with someone else?

Yay, a QAF ask! (The struggle of discovering a story and wanting to talk everyone's ear off about it, but you're like, 20 years late.)

Are you asking if I think Justin could or that he would? I genuinely don't think he would, but he could. The point is that Justin would choose Brian. That was his motivation throughout the series: he chose Brian, and then he had to figure out what that meant. (Justin ditching Brian in season 2 was a poor choice in some ways, but was also clearly a choice that thematically links to their decision not to get married in season 5--loving someone shouldn't cost you yourself.)

Having Justin suddenly be like "ahhh nvm Brian isn't worth it", even offscreen, would be thematically disastrous given the main crux of Brian's issues being that he does not, in fact, think he's worthy of love or even life itself thanks to his dad wishing he was never born.

The ending of season 5 was not that. Justin kept insisting that they would see each other constantly. He still chooses Brian. Brian has doubts because he's still scared, but QAF is always gonna go with the choice and hope option over the fear option.

I mean, I've talked multiple times about the ending, but I think the implication is clear--and that was before I found out the writers confirmed that they intended to write them staying together. It's open enough to where people can draw their own conclusions, but I think you have to neglect a ton of context clues and write them off as "random" (when nothing in a story should be random assuming best writing--granted, most stories, even QAF, don't always do this, but it's the general assumption) to come to that conclusion.

I mean, you could conclude that they ended up just as fond memories to each other. But you'd be neglecting a hell of a lot of context, and transporting the story's genre into gritty, even cyclical realism, when it was always more of an optimistic coming-of-age survival story with elements of a fairy tale. (It's not like the story directly called out its fairy tale optimism several times--oh wait it did reference fairy tales, and superhero comic books, and magic, and even had a ghostly apparition in Vic appearing in Brian's dreams.)

Anyways, to conclude that they don't end up together, I think people have to read their own experiences and preferences into the story, which admittedly we all do to an extent, but to a degree where I'd say they're ceasing to view it as a crafted story. I do think the authorial intent was clear.

Why did the narrative specifically call out Brian not returning the rings?

Why was the pattern of every single relationship in season 5 separating, but then coming back together even when things looked impossible (Melanie and Lindsay, Blake and Ted, Emmett and whoever that was, Hunter with Ben and Michael)?

What about the motif of home between Justin and Brian that got multiple shout-outs in every season? (I need to write a meta about this!)

Why did the story talk consistently in almost every season about Brian's life goal being moving to New York? (The thing is, Brian shouldn't move to New York out of fear or because he has no other options. That's not the message of QAF. It should be his choice, and I think it was set up to likely be precisely that.)

Season 4, imo, sets up the ending for us. Justin's about to fly back to Hollywood, but he still waits at the finish line to see Brian (who lags behind everyone else). Michael helps Brian, but Brian almost gives up just in sight of the finish line--until he sees Justin waiting for him. Then, he gathers himself and pushes across the line. The metaphor was so on the nose. Yeah, Justin will then leave for a bit, just like he will at the end of season 5, but Brian will keep moving forward for him. And as if the writers wanted to assuage our fears brought by their very own theme of "you don't know what tomorrow brings; all we have is the present," they included ghostly Vic appearing in Brian's dreams in the finale of season 4 promising Brian that he'd have a "lot more" years left. They'll get there.

So, I think Justin's love for Brian was a choice--one everything about his character and the show's themes demonstrate he'll continue to make.

#ask hamliet #britin #brian kinney #justin taylor #queer as folk us #queer as folk #queer as folk meta #qaf meta #qaf ending #qaf 5x13 #brian x justin #britin meta

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twdmusicboxmystery · 2 years

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hey just wanted ur points in this. we know that daryl was (is) in love with beth in Still and Alone, but what about Beth? do u think she shared the same feelings? did she fall in love with him too? it'd be nice if u could give ur opinion with some evidences or dialogues from the scenes or stuff. no pressure though :)

I do believe she had feelings for him as well, but I also think she tried to suppress hers.

So, the only really canon evidence we have for her side of things comes from S3. Even though not many people were thinking about them as a couple in S3, if you go back and watch, you can see that they were already setting it up.

I've said this before, but just a quick recap: tptb knew about the Caryl ship even back then. The "wanna screw around" scene with Daryl on Carol on top of the overturned bus in 3x01 was the writers addressing the idea of romance between them and dismissing it. It was like both characters considered it for a minute, but then went, "nah." And ever since, they've just been platonic besties. It's something that ship refuses to acknowledge.

But right after that--RIGHT after; like 5 seconds later--Beth was singing by the fire and Daryl was staring at her. That's very telling for what the writers were going for.

So, in terms of Beth's feelings, all we really have is her conversation with Carol after Daryl left with Merle. I made an edit about it some time ago and how she's crushing on him.

So, this is my opinion about what's up with Beth's feelings about Daryl. It is mostly conjecture, but I've also extrapolated from what we have seen in the show, and what they've told us.

I think Beth did have a crush on Daryl. I even have a head canon where maybe she was slightly afraid of him at first. I mean, back when he first showed up at Hershel's farm in S2. Because he has the look of a scary biker dude, and Beth was raised to be a wholesome country girl.

But Beth also has a talent for seeing people's best traits. After being on the road with Rick's group for a year, she recognized that Daryl is actually kind and loyal and gentle and all the things we know and love about Daryl. One thing that's not in my edit above is that she tells Carol the group is weak without him. So, she also recognized that he was a major survival asset for them.

So, I think she did have a crush on him, but she never truly believed he would return those feelings. Like, she thought her own feelings were just a schoolgirl crush, and that Daryl would never see her that way. She saw herself as weak, younger than him, and not his equal.

And that was true to a certain extent (though not in a negative way) at first, back in S2. She really did need to be protected back then, and Daryl wouldn't have thought of her in any way other than another member of the group and Hershel's daughter.

But there's a natural progression to things in life, and by S4, that clearly began to change. Drastically. They had their hug in 4x01, which resulted in a moment of sexual tension. And boy, those moments sure can change the nature of a person's reality, can't they. (Sorry; was totally watching Westworld last night. ;D).

And then of course we had the beautiful Bethyl journey of 4b, where they connected and got to know another on a soul level.

The last thing I want to point to is something that was said in the Daryl Origins episode. We had that moment where he said that during the "oh" moment, Daryl believed he'd read her incorrectly. That was confirmation that Daryl had feelings for Beth, and that IS what he was attempting to convey in that moment (of course we already knew that, both from the episode itself and from the character bios that AMC posted saying as much back after S4, and then quickly deleted, but this was just another confirmation of it) but when Beth showed surprise, he thought she didn't feel the same way.

I believe they included that in the Origins episode, not ONLY to confirm Daryl's feelings for her, but to draw attention to what hers might have been.

Clearly she was surprised to learn how he felt about her, but I don't think she was at all opposed to it. I think she was just shocked because she truly never thought he could come to see her that way.

It's also clear to me that Beth did want to be close to him emotionally. I truly don't think she was ever pursuing him romantically. She just admired him, secretly crushed on him from afar, but had resigned herself that he'd never feel the same way. But she still wanted to be close to him, even if just platonically. That's why she hugged him in 4x01, and why she tried so hard to draw him out emotionally in 4b.

And she kind of achieved that much. We see her being happy in Alone because they had become close. They were comfortable together, and she was learning to survive, and that made her happy. (We also see Daryl looking happy in Alone, but for other reasons. ;D)

So then, when he reveal his feelings, it truly shocked her, because she didn't expect it. And of course then the shit hits the fan, and she doesn't really get a chance to say much, other than, "Oh," which is eternally ambiguous. (Damnit, Gimple! Give us more!)

But think of it this way:

Think about the way stories are always written. Something is hinted at ONLY if it's eventually going to be fulfilled. So, if Daryl and Rick tell Michonne not to go to Macon, because it might be too dangerous, eventually someone in the group is going to end up at Macon and face some danger. (That's where Terminus was.)

If Eugene and Rosita stumble across a bizarre group dressed as walkers who whisper to one another, and then return home, tell everyone, and just *hope* they won't run into that group again, clearly, they're going to run into that group again.

It's true in other stories too. If the Beast tells Belle to stay out of the West Wing, where is she eventually going to go? You get the picture.

So, if they went out of their way to tell us that Daryl had feelings for Beth, but HE didn't think she returned them...

I'll just let you finish that sentence.

So, there's my theory and what little evidence we have from AMC and the show for how Daryl felt about Beth. But I do think it's fairly compelling evidence.

This is why I still think what Gimple told Larry King before S5 remains true: that eventually Daryl will find true love in the apocalypse. He already found it. They set it up that way. Now, he's just waiting for her return.

Thanks Nonny! Xoxo! 🔥😎😘

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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maxwellohwell · 1 year

Text

Just a lil ramble vent

No one warns you about how brutal the transition from sheltered teenager to functioning adult is. All I've ever wanted was freedom, I love it. I was born an observer, its just in my nature. I love existing with the environment around me. I love walking in the rain, watching houses and cars and trees and boats and signs out from the window of a bus or a train, my favourite colours are pink or sunshine yellow but I always cave for a spooky grey/blue/purple colour scheme, my favourite food has always been spaghetti bolognese or pancakes, and the only times I remember that I am not a disembodied voice is when I look at myself in the mirror and dont identify with the body that I am in because I see myself as more of a concept then a human being. I've always been the secondary character in the stories of the people around me who always had something going on. In those stories I was the love interest who was too busy staring out the window to notice anything around them, I was the creepy mean "goth" that was added into the series to say weird stuff for laughs and to spite the protagonists, I was the best friend with bad advice, I was the child who was never allowed to grow up bc that meant her mother was growing old. Freedom feels like the morning sun beaming onto your face through fluffy white clouds or a day full of peaceful rain, and for me the only time I feel the warm rays of hope and tranquility is when chasing it hasn't been beaten out of me with the worried words of my overly paranoid mother or the judgemental looks of the people who can read the script.

So over the past weeks I've been moving out. I turned 18 half a year ago and my life has been slowly sinking like a ship for a while now. My mother is getting evicted and so I finally get to jump ship. Not exactly the "running away to the sunny city without telling anybody, going to the gym dressed as barbie while drinking a strawberry mango smoothie and getting money for writing emails in an office cubical" escape plan, but falling in love (i think, I dont entirely know if I even know what romantic attraction feels like) despite the fact that I live for being entirely alone and moving in with him works ig. But I've found myself in this weird tug-a-war while Im stuck between the two places, where I feel the beginnings of the freedom I've been wanting while Im away but then I need to go back to roleplaying an 8 yr old to survive. My mental health decreases while Im in that environment where I cant make my own choices, but I re-enter the adult world every few days and I feel paralyzed by the fear that Im going to break an unspoken rule and get yelled at for existing without supervision. Becoming an adult is very much just learning that its okay to exist and then teaching urself all the stuff you know that you dont know that you should know but you weren't taught bc growing up is illegal.

My entire life so far has been me waiting for this moment and I feel like Im wasting it by having these cognitive behavioural issues even though developing those wasn't at all my fault. One of my most vivid memories from highschool was walking with the vice principal while I was on my way to class. We happened to be going in the same direction and she started talking about how much she missed being young and free and how I should "treasure my teenage years while I still have them", and I remember that so clearly because of how little sense it made to me. My teenage years had no walks in the rain because "what if your kidnapped", my teenage years had no car rides because we were poor, my teenage years had no train rides because I had no where to go, my teenage years had no pink because I had to be the scary mean "goth" girl because no one messes with you if ur scary enough, my teenage years had no pancakes or spaghetti because I wasnt allowed to use the stovetop. How am I supposed to appreciate that? As an adult, you are in control. You shouldn't take your eyes off the road while you're driving. In my adult life I am happy. Everyday I wake up at 6am-8am, make my bed and watch youtube while I eat my pancakes, brush my teeth, go walk on the beach if I feel up to it, then I either go to the job that I love bc I chose it or play video games, do some chores, then I watch youtube with my boyfriend until I fall asleep. I do not want to leave that.

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irynochka · 2 years

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the other sad and frightening part our friend mentioned about the soldiers was about another young man from her hometown in Ukraine..

First of all his family also had to buy him his own bulletproof vest after he signed up (like she just did for her brother esp after hearing about this..); the Ukrainian army continues to be largely be lacking in even basic supplies. idk. I don’t know if they are receiving incorrect/unusable supplies, or if the issue is distributing the supplies to the necessary troops across Ukraine, or if corruption throughout our government and military ranks continues to misdirect funds and resources. I suspect a combination of all three but feel like this is something I’m going to want to look further into. Upon a quick search at least in regards to vests specifically, I see multiple articles about multiple government agencies as well as private and non-profit organizations pledging to donate usually up to 1000 vests. Not sure how far those have gone, but quick search also says there are 246k soldiers in Ukraine’s armed forces (197k of which are military personnel) so honestly if we were starting with like the 10 vests left over from the last decade (cause every soldier was already buying their own shit, non-lol) then we may still be far far from full coverage. every single soldier needs/deserves a shield before going into battle and we’re clearly way too vulnerable.

What was meant to be the most shocking/important note here is that, second of all,,, the army told this group of soldiers they were heading over by train to a village *just to patrol* etc. apparently they were taken to right by a currently *extremely hot/active war zone*, there was gunfire and many of them passed away. Her friend has gunshot wounds and *only survived bc of the vest* his family pooled together money for.

It’s so horrible that someone would be sent right into combat without fair warning of where they’re going, of the current conditions when they’re known. I can only think it was done bc the immediate leaders feared (probably correctly) that some soldiers, especially the least equipped least protected, would flee before knowingly walking into an impossible situation (so ofc it’s better to send them in unwitting and just let them die? Ugh). And/or the leaders think the higher death toll is at least “good” for attracting more attention and help, which is morally sick. Evidently I am not well-versed in how military operations work and my dad is claiming that no one in the military is basically ever told anything about the missions they’re being sent on, but idk is it really normal to send soldiers directly into an active warzone without bulletproof vests, under the impression they’re entering a peaceful village with a small risk of falling under attack?

So yeah if you see fundraisers for “basic” supplies like bulletproof vests, binoculars, flashlights, anything for shelter, chances are it’s a real ask and there is in fact a very brave but very ill-equipped soldier/troop fearing for their life all the way on the other side (though do be wary of /vaguely specific/ requests via DM from ur friends or strangers etc most seem to request ~$500 via paypal - scams !!!!!). some of the best fundraisers right now are being well-organized by private individuals, especially the ones organized by Ukrainians directly in touch with troops and related organizers across Ukraine, using regional and military expertise to help explain and buy the specific equipment needed. Donating directly to the army and humanitarian organizations to help affected civilians is all very good too but if Ukraine’s defensive forces don’t come together SOON, FAST then our motherland will be decimated. More than it already has been.

#idk how this got so LONG #ukraine

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brandnewhuman · 2 years

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I love ur writing it's so good!

Could I request a reader who fought back tremendously well?

GUILTY

CONTENT:

Pairings: Thomas hewitt x reader

Tw: canon violence, murder, major character death, blood, mature language

Summary: you both have to survive, and while you both do all you can only one of you at end is going to make it. Even if it means having to live with it forever

A/n: i went a little bit...overboard :'). Initially i wanted to Michael but i just thought to myself "why don't just hurt your own feelings even more and do it with Thomas?" So yeah, I'm sorry in advance for the atrocity I've just committed. Hope you liked it tho!! Im not like the best at describing and this is probably so sloppy and shitty but I've tried my best!! Enjoyy

You had always been the understanding type. The one that, during a horror movie, roots for both the victim and perpetrator. It was almost a second nature for you to see the good in any bad and the bad in any good.

Deep inside, something about the misunderstood antagonists has always reasoned with you on the personal level. Even now as you watch, tied up to a table in a dark, cold basement, the behemoth of a man that has brought you down there your mind is buzzing with fear trying to anxiously find a reason for all of what has happened to you.

You knew almost nothing about Thomas, as you have learned he's called, the only thing you were sure of is that he was upset by the whole situation as you were. There was not a single trace of malicious intent in anything he did, he always avoided looking directly into your face, almost as if he was ashamed. He knew what he was doing was unforgivable but in some sort of twisted way he was too a prisoner of the situation you both were in. That notion in your head was sending waves of guilt all over your aching body. You didn't want to hurt him, you didn't want to hurt anyone but this is not how you wanted to die.

"I.. your name is Thomas right?" You breathed out, your voice shaking anxiously as you tried to sound as friendly and calm as possible. He only looked at you briefly before focusing again in closing the right knife to use for you. You shut your eyes close trying to hold back the tears and calm yourself before speaking again. This is the only way you have to get out of here and you can't afford to fuck up "I… I know you're not a bad person. I can see that you have..you have to do it" at this he stopped but still didn't look at you. This was the first time someone, someone who was in your position, has said something like that. There has been a few who have tried to literally fuck their way out of it but never one who was simply… kind. You took him stopping as your cue to keep going.

"Know that…I don't hate you. You're trying t-to survive and..and I get it" your tone was more of a whisper at this point cause the painful feeling of your throat closing wouldn't allow you to raise your voice any further. You weren't even sure if he heard you since he didn't seem to react. Your heart was sinking deeper into your stomach as your head racked to find other ways to get him to untie you.

But he did hear you, he heard you so clearly that he almost wished you didn't say anything. Slowly and hesitant he turned completely towards you, his broad shoulders raising up and down with every deep and heavy breath he took. You realised with horror that his right hand was tight in a fist around the handle of a big and blood dirty cleaver, his knuckles almost white from the how hard he was holding the tool.

"I- i didn't want to make you angry i- I just" your words caught up in your throat almost choking you as panic settled all over your body. You couldn't stop shaking as he started taking painfully slow steps towards you. You had to keep going, you had to try again or you would be able to leave.

"I just! I- i just d-don't want it to hurt…please. I know I can't leave, I…I just want you to be…be gentle. I know you can please" your pleas paired with your glossy eyes widening in fear tugged at Thomas's heartstrings. You weren't even trying to survive…you were just asking for a painless death and that was something that filled his entire body with liquid and burning guilt. Deep down he knew that he shouldn't even care, that he should just get over it and little does he know that part of him is right but is it really that terrible to comply just once? You were gonna die after all, was it really too much for him to just do it nicely? He felt that he owed you at least that, giving what purpose your body was going to serve.

When he gave you a single soft nod you could've almost cried from relief. Your thank you's crushed against his already heavy heart as he worked on the straps that were restraining you with his free hand. Once he was done he looked at you, one hand reaching hesitantly to your face as he brushed away a few tears staining your cheeks. He was surprisingly careful and soft so that you felt the need to lean to his gentle touch. His eyes were full of surprise as you did and he stayed still, holding his breath as his heart started beating harder and faster. The longing in his gaze, the way he cupped your cheek as you leaned in his hand and the tremble in his breaths once he finally let his lungs get more air was not mixing well with the knowledge of what you were about to do.

"I'm sorry…" you said so softly and so gently that Thomas didn't realise what you were saying fast enough. With one swift movement you took the cleaver from his now more loose grip, making his sharp end meet brutally against Thomas' right shoulder.

Everything was going so slow but so fast at the same type as a heart wrenching shriek of pain filled the air. You pulled back the cleaver as soon as one of Thomas' hands tried to get a hold of you before you could run. You dodged it and pulled yourself down the table. You started to run towards the exit doors still holding the cleaver in your hand in case you had to use it again.. Heavy footsteps followed you closely as you climbed the stairs. He huffed in pain and anger as his mind was filled with red tinted violent thoughts fueled by the feeling of betrayal and shame falling upon him from trusting you.

Before you could open the door his arms wrapped around your waist pulling away scaring you and as an involuntary reflex, the hand holding the cleaver just open and flew to where Thomas's were placed, clawing them while you kicked and screamed trying to free yourself from his deadly grip. Your elbow met his face several times, forcing out of him moans of pain while he tried to keep his mind focused on getting you back on the table. Your last blow broke his nose, taking him by surprise as he backed away from you after finally freeing your body from his hold. While holding his nose and groaning in pain he misplaced one of his feet and lost balance, falling down the stairs. If he already didn't feel humiliated enough now he definitely did.

You turned to look at him, you wouldn't be able to leave if you didn't take him down now and you knew it. You almost hoped it didn't have to be this way but you just prayed he could forgive you as you were just trying to survive.

You didn't waste any time. As he started to get up you looked around frantically to find the cleaver and once you found it you turned around to look at Thomas again. He got so close to you without even noticing and without even thinking about you swinging the cleaver against him, giving him a nasty deep gash across his torso. He backed away again, holding the wound and panting heavily as soft moans of pain left his mouth. His gaze was clouded with hate as he watched, his features contorted in anger as he charged again towards you.

You ducked, dodging his arms and using all your strength and his lack of balance against, straight up pushing into his body to slam him onto the ground. You both fell, and you ended up on top of him, his whole body softening your fall while his head just slammed hard against the floor blurring his vision with pain. Everything around him was spinning and he felt his limb weighing ten times more as he hardly managed to make out your form on top of him from the dark as you immediately straightened yourself up.

Your chest raised and filled heavily as tears now we're running, feeling down your eyes, your hand holding the weapon raised above your head as every piece of yourself got eaten up by the sickening guilt you were feeling. His eyes as soon as they got a clear vision of what was happening widened in terror. For the first time and last time Thomas knew what the victims felt as the cleaver swinger down at him one, two, three times.

You screamed and your eyes were blinded with big fat tears as you kept going with your assault at him, blood spilling everywhere staining your hands and clothes while his hands fighted back in an attempt to stop you.

The adrenaline of the moment was giving you enough strength but as soon as you felt his arms go limp onto the floor, you stopped. You sobbed uncontrollably, your whole body shaking so much you felt dizzy and the sight before you was making you sick to your stomach.

Almost as if it was scorching hot you let go of the cleaver and crawled away from his body, covering your mouth with one hand and shutting your eyes close, trying to wake yourself up from what you were able to describe only as a nightmare.

"I-...I'm sorry..i- i- I'm SORRY" you screamed so hard until you hurt your throat. You had to get out of there, you had to go so far away from there now cause if you stay another second the guilt is going to win over and all of this would be for nothing. You scrambled up on your shaky legs, taking in your hands the knife once more and without even daring to look at him you made your way upstairs.

You could say to yourself that maybe you did him a favour but you knew very well that it wasn't the case..you just did what you needed to survive and that was the only believable truth. You just hoped, as you crossed the door, that Thomas was the only one you would have to kill to get away.

#slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #tcm the beginning #texas chainsaw the beginning #leatherface

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domesticloki · 3 years

Text

Thirsty Thursday

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader

Description: You are trying to have a teams-conference from home. Your husband Loki however, has other plans.

Word count: 1150

Warnings: smut, teasing, teen content, implication of adult situations

A/N: After the fall of the TVA a Variant of Loki managed to survive Thanos’ attack on the Statesman. After the events of Infinity War, he met you, and finally got his happily ever after. This is a story of that ever after.

You were ready for your teams conference. Taking a sip of your coffee, you placed it on the floor next to your desk. You had learned this the hard way,- after spilling it on not one, but two laptops - because early mornings, your innate clumsiness and a cup of coffee made for a terrible combination.

You heard Loki whistling in the kitchen. He had returned from driving the kids, and was undoubtedly readying his breakfast by now. He had taken the morning off and wasn’t due for the office until noon. You tried to focus on the melody. It sounded so familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

You glanced at the time. The meeting would start in 12 minutes and you were browsing through your papers, double checking that you had everything you needed, when the whistling grew closer and Loki appeared in the doorway.

“How long was your meeting again?” he whispered and you flung around in your chair.

“About an ho….ur… what?” There he was, your husband, casually leaning in, peeking through the doorway, stark naked and sporting the cheekiest grin imaginable.

“Loki, what is… what are you doing?”

“Oh this, I… I spilled something, no big deal,” he said, casually brushing his hands against his chiseled chest.With a sly look he traced one of them down his abs to finally rest on his hips, being sure to draw your eyes downwards with the movement. He knew exactly what he was doing, and you had to admit it was working.

Flustered, you peeled your eyes from his naked form back to your papers, and to the clock that so unrelentingly ticked closer to the start of your meeting. You cleared your throat and began:

“Well, I put the laundry away yesterday so you should have a fresh suit in the upstairs closet, the dry cleaner was able to get the bolognese stain from the coller, but you really should take off your jacket before you start to… “ Loki had stepped to you and leaned over, swirling your chair to face him. His face was so very close and his musky scent filled your nostrils. He moistened his lips with his tongue. “Feed… the… “ You were having a hard time concentrating and your eyes were drawn to his lush lips. He didn’t let you finish your sentence.

Leaning in for the kiss he pinned you against the chair and hungrily pulled your lower lip between his. Parting his own lips, his tongue darted out, moistening your lips in the process and finding your tongue, barely brushing against it, before again letting it slide back into his own mouth and his lips continued the movement, sending shivers down your spine. His lips parted from yours but he stayed, hovering over you, his face so incredibly close to yours.

“Right… I mean,” you cleared your throat. “I have this… I have to... “ You could barely hold a thought.

“Of course you do,” Loki whispered and moved to kiss your neck despite having acknowledged your urgent work matter. You moaned and closed your eyes, enthralled by the sensation of his wet kisses along your neck. You pressed against the chair, feeling your resolve weakening by the second.

Suddenly you were returned to reality by the familiar sound of a teams call. You instantly moved to push Loki away, but in your effort to dodge his amourous engagement, you rolled your chair and backed straight into the coffee cup that spilled, flowing and staining the study floor.

“Shit… I… Loki, please,” you drew your chair forward and Loki unwillingly stood up and looked at the clumsy mess.

“I’ll take care of that, don’t worry.” You were trying to frantically find a piece of tissue, a shirt, anything to throw on the floor to soak up the coffee.

“Just answer your call, don’t worry,” he stated and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you breathed while grabbing your headset and pressing the call open with your mouse. You were visibly flustered as you answered and tried to put on a professional face, while checking your image through the camera. Your background was set as the official corporate background, masking the mess around your study that was not limited to the liquid on the floor next to you.

“Hi, yes, I am here,” you answered as your boss went on to check that everyone was connected.

Loki had returned to the room, keeping his distance as he walked, to keep himself just out of the frame. The background detected slight movement, but you were happy to see that his naked form had not popped up on the screen. He bent down next to you with the set of towels and started to mop up the coffee. You tried to focus on what was being said, but suffice it to say his naked form was somewhat distracting. You found your gaze falling on his incredibly muscular shoulders and your lips parted…

Suddenly the sound of your name drew you back to the conference call. “Sorry, what was that?” you said breathlessly and cleared your throat. Your co-worker continued to expand on the question as you tried your best to hold your attention on her.

Loki realized your flustered state and grinned. He had finished with his clean up of the floor and decided to address the tiny spec of coffee that had spilled on your leg. You were wearing your office clothes, sans stockings, and Loki started dabbing your leg, moving the rag enticingly slowly upwards to your knee. He decided to finish his cleaning by running wet soft kisses starting from your knee upwards onto your inner thigh, slightly lifting your skirt to gain access. You were positive there was no coffee there.

“Yes,” clearing your throat “I have those figure-...-es right…” clearing your throat again “here, excuse me, I seem to ha-aave something in my,” coughing “throat, so sorry about that.”

Facing the camera and smiling what was most likely a very creepy Stepford wives smile, you pushed Loki away. Had you been able to do it, you would have shot him a look that could kill. From the corner of your eye you saw him smiling mischievously as he mouthed: “I’ll be waiting for you.”

He stood up and started to walk away, and then your face shot red with embarrassment as you saw, very clearly, your husband's bare bottom flash on your screen for a fraction of a second, before it disappeared into the background. Your heart was thumping out of your chest, looking at the tiny videos on your screen, looking at your boss and co-workers and clients to try to figure out if they had seen Loki’s muscular backside in all its naked glory.

“Yes, go on,” your boss said hurriedly. Obviously he hadn’t. Most everyone seemed busy checking the slides presented and had not noticed. But then you saw your co-worker Linda biting down on their lips, obviously trying not to smirk. Oh she was going to have a field day with this.

“Yes, “ Linda continued, “explain the big asset question and please, if you could, give ample details.” The laugh almost escaped you, but you managed to disguise it as a cough, once again collecting yourself and apologising yet again to your boss, co-workers and the clients.

Your phone buzzed on the counter, but you knew better than to check the text from Loki, which would undoubtedly be a display of some of his naked body parts. The Scorpions started playing upstairs and your face flushed with anticipation. You heard Loki singing along to the chorus.

Tease me Please me No one needs to know...

This was going to be a loooooong meating.

#loki x reader #loki fanfic #loki fluff #loki domestic #loki tease #loki odinson #loki laufeyson

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Note

hi i love ur writing so much!! can i request something with mutual pining, denial of feelings, idiots-to-lovers, hurt/comfort/angst , maybe some jealousy and fluff and smut if you want i just need something really angsty with javier peña, frankie m or din djarin?? tysmm!!!!!

The Bantha (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Being an animal lover does not work well with the plans the Tuskens and Mos Pelgo citizens have to kill the krayt dragon. A retelling of S2E1 of the Mandalorian: The Marshal.

W/C: 4.4K

Warnings: talk of animals being harmed/dying, lots of arguing and angst, Vanth kind of is gross bc I hate his character aha, we respect the Tuskens in this house and use proper terminology for them, language, tiniest mentions of alcohol

A/N: Not gonna lie, the idea for this fic came to me pretty quickly but it took me a long time to properly figure it out. Lots of drafting and editing so THANK YOU to my beta readers, you’re all the best ever!! Anon, I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope it’s worth it!

Of all the dilemmas you’d expected to face as you traveled the galaxy with a tiny, Force-sensitive, 50-year-old toddler and a Mandalorian with the emotional capacity of the earlier-mentioned child, the last one you’d ever predicted you’d face had to be the challenge of ridding a tiny desert town of a giant sand beast that eats their banthas.

“You are so fucking dense,” you groan as you and Din settle on a speeder bike, the little green child tucked in a wrap on your chest. “You’re a Mandalorian, a battle-worn bounty hunter with a kill streak probably in the thousands, and some random man asks for your help and not only do you fucking freely give it, you decide to help them kill the sand dragon terrorizing their town.” You groan to him, rubbing your temples.

Din nods and starts up the speeder bike. “You don’t need to summarize what we just lived through,” he grunts and you wrap an arm around him.

“I do, because I need to clarify that your dumb ass would do that. Sometimes I really do think you don’t have a brain under that beskar bucket,” you shake your head, trying to keep the anger that you’re feeling. If you’re not careful, it’ll turn to adoration and love.

You’ve been battling your feelings for Din for a while now, trying to force the giddiness bubbling in your chest deep down inside. The man is everything you look for in a partner: strong, committed, tall, protective. He’s good with the child, adorably cuddly and loving. He’s even funny sometimes, making dry-humored remarks around the ship.

“Excuse me for caring,” the man grumbles through the modulator. He’s strong and warm beneath your arms, the Tatooine heat making the beskar warm like your bunk in the morning when you don’t want to get up. Stop it, stop it you remind yourself. This is not the time to be enraptured by the Mandalorian man’s body.

That’s yet another trait you love about him- how caring he is. He’s a bounty hunter, a warrior by oath who never shows his face and probably knows millions of ways to kill someone with his bare hands. Yet he cares. He raises the child well; he even raised him alone before you came into the picture. He puts himself in harm’s way for innocent people on the daily, all because he simply thinks it’s right.

You take a sip from your water canteen and hand it to the baby on your chest so he can drink too. “No, I will not excuse you for caring when you’re doing stupid shit, Din,” you scowl and cap the canteen as two three-fingered green hands give it back to you. “You came here- we came here, our family did, to find Mandalorians. There are none.”

“This man will give me his beskar if we help,” Din hisses, revving the engine of the speeder, non-verbally telling Vanth to get moving. The man is dawdling along, a few meters away, as he packs his bike up.

“What do you need it for, huh?” You ask him, throwing your arms up in exasperation. “I’m not a Mandalorian. This little shit doesn’t need beskar. You have a full set of armor already.”

“Beskar belongs to me, to my people, by my Creed,” he says, articulating himself with his hands too. It’s a habit he’s picked up from you. “You wouldn’t ask a Tatooinian to deprive themselves of the moisture they farm.”

You put your face in your hands and groan. “No, you’re right, because they fucking need water to live. You do not need beskar to survive, Din!” You shout, getting off the speeder bike. “And please, forget I called us a family. We’re clearly just a bounty hunter and his… assistant, whatever the fuck I am, and some little kid we picked up for the ride.” You stalk off towards the building.

“Where are you going?” He asks as you turn.

Cobb is standing to the side somewhere, and you approach him. “You got another speeder? I don’t want to put up with him for the ride.”

The man chuckles and claps your shoulder. “Sure thing, pretty thing.” He wanders off and returns about a minute later with another speeder. Din watches the two of you in annoyance, visible from his rigid body language. “Hop on. You know how to drive?” You nod once and he heads to his own speeder. “I’ll lead. You two follow.”

The ride is uneventful at first. Cobb Vanth tells the two of you the story of how he came to be the town marshal, and Din nods his silent comprehension when the man in beskar looks over at him. Most of the stories are aimed at you, desperate to crack your stony anger. It doesn’t work. You stare straight ahead, daring to break your frown into a neutral expression when the little green baby coos excitedly at the wind in his ears.

There are valleys and caverns to navigate through, nimbly ducking and weaving on your speeder bike. The kid loves it, squealing happily when you fly over a bump or turn a sharp corner. It’s a joyride to him.

When Din and Vanth suddenly stop your ride, you panic, holding the child close against your chest. From your holster, you grab your weapon and stand next to the two men. The growling noises are revealed to be massiffs, huge dog-like lizards. You squeal in delight, immediately dropping to your knees and summoning the beast in Tusken.

“What in the hell is she doin’?” Vanth mutters to Din as the big animal comes bounding toward you.

“She’s always like this with animals. Thinks they’re all big puppies,” Din rolls his eyes but can’t help himself: he smiles beneath his helmet as the beast licks your face and you scratch its sides.

You’re such a wonderful person, Din sighs, even though he’s mad at you. You’ve always been amazing with other species, like massiffs and the little green child strapped to your chest. You’re so intelligent too: speaking seemingly endless languages.

“They are big puppies!” You coo and press a kiss to the forehead of one massiff. Another finds Din, who also bends down to give it scratches and attention. “Green bean, look!” You tell the child and put out his hand for the massiff to lick. “See? They’re our friends,” you tell him, admiring the way the little green child giggles at the scaly skin.

From around a corner, a Tusken appears, then several. You stand and lower your weapon, speaking to them first in their native language. “We mean no harm. You have beautiful massiffs,” you tell them then turn to Din and Vanth. “Drop the weapons.”

“Are you crazy?” Vanth shouts.

“We are here to put an end to the krayt dragon,” you explain to them in their language. “Your assistance and knowledge would certainly help us. You want it gone too, yes?”

They affirm you that it’s a yes, and you nod back at the men. You know Din understands. “They’re willing to help if you’ll stop being a douchebag.” Vanth starts to talk but you hold up a hand and cut him off. “I know, I know. We can strike a deal. Are you willing?”

Din’s heart is nearly exploding. In any other timeline, he’d be the one conducting negotiations, using his threat as a Mandalorian to run the show. But here you are, with your gentle nature, making deals and completing them through cooperation and kindness. It’s hard to speak in a soft tone when speaking Tusken, yet you can do it. All with a baby strapped to your chest. Maker, Din thinks, he might be in love with you.

Vanth sighs a few moments later. “Why the hell not?”

Din talks with the Tuskens for a while at the camp, planning and negotiating as night falls and the air starts to get cold. To entertain the child, you spend time with the banthas, brushing their fur and letting the baby get exposed to the animals.

The kid loves them. He coos happily as he strokes their thick fur, giggling as one of them gives him a kiss and covers him in slime. You wash him off and return, quietly talking with the Tuskens caring for the creatures.

You’ve taken a liking to them. They’re gentle and soft, like big lumbering puppies, really. They moo when you brush their fur just right, let their eyes slip shut when you scratch them between the eyes. You’ve always had a soft spot for animals, like Din said earlier.

Cobb likes you. That much is clear from the way he finds you when he’s not working with Din and the Tuskens, bringing you food and water as you and the child mind your business. He’s overly flirtatious, to the point of annoyance. He’s rude and crude about the Tuskens, calling them words you’d never use to describe a human.

Politely excusing yourself, you allow the child to run with some of the other Tuskens’ children and spot a silver-plated man sitting by the fire.

“Vanth is such a goddamn xenophobe,” you grumble as you sit down next to the fire with Din, the child off playing with some Tusken children. He’d ranted about the Tuskens as you rode with them, luckily in Basic so that the people couldn’t understand him.

“Thought you liked him,” Din says and cocks his head. “He certainly likes you.”

You roll your eyes and sip the canteen of water, looking at the crackling fire. “Those things are not mutually exclusive,” you chuckle, looking over at him. “What, are you jealous, tin can?” You tease and knock on his beskar pauldron.

“In your dreams, cyar’ika,” he teases. It’s clear to him that whatever tension had been between the two of you earlier has dissipated, enough for him to steal the water flask from your hand and pass it to the child as he toddles past.

“I was drinking that, you fucking bantha,” you laugh and smack him on an unarmored part of his arm. The Tatooinian desert gets cold at night, you find, and you pull into yourself a little more from the cold.

Din unclips his cape and drapes it over your shoulders, tucking it in beneath where your arms press against your ribs so that it wraps tight to your body. “Hm. You do have a heart under there,” you tease and sigh, naturally leaning against Din and resting your head on his shoulder pauldron.

“So it’s been said,” he nods and even dares to rest his head on top of yours. Through the bare spots in his beskar, he can feel the way your body radiates warmth into the chilly night. You spot a little green head toddling past again, much slower than the other children thanks to his tiny legs, and Din scoops him up.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur quietly, the roar of the Tuskens’ conversations creating a soft hum around you. “For what I said, when I yelled at you. You’re right. You really are just caring for them.”

He nods. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m more sorry for saying we aren’t a family. I mean, we are, right? Not that we’re like, a couple or anything,” you say hurriedly, your voice low as you stumble over your words. “But you and this little womp rat…” you muse as you scratch the baby’s little green head. “You are my family. That much is clear to me.”

Din nods once more. “I agree.”

You smile up at him. “What’s going on under that bucket, huh?”

He turns, looking off. “Just going over the plans for how we’re going to get that krayt dragon.”

“Ooh, share,” you ask, taking one of his hands and lacing through his glove-covered fingers. “I didn’t mean it when we said all of this for some banthas, you know. I’ve really fallen in love with them lately.”

Din is quiet for a moment. He doesn’t answer. “Din?”

He knows you’re going to hate him for this. Your big heart, your animal-loving, sweet talking kindness is not going be okay with this, but he has to tell you the truth. “We’re going to have to sacrifice some of the banthas for this mission to work.”

“What?” You exclaim, dropping his hand. “You can’t possibly do that.”

“We have to. We need to lure the dragon.”

“Do it some other way!” You frown, looking over at the big soft desert cows. “Seriously, please, Din.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head. “They’re not sentient.”

“But they can feel!” You exclaim again, standing. “Fuck this. Why don’t you sacrifice yourself to the krayt dragon and see how that feels?” You shout, storming off. You’re aware it’s childish, but you stomp to your tent and lie down. You close your eyes and hope Din doesn’t come to find you.

Of course you didn’t mean it. Of course you didn’t want Din to sacrifice himself to the krayt dragon. So why is he doing it? Why are you on your knees, screaming to the sky that he did exactly what you said?

You’d been avoiding him since that night, since you showed vulnerability and subsequently returned to anger towards the man. You’d wanted to apologize, but you couldn’t get over the sacrificing of the animals for the cause. You just couldn’t.

Din had flown straight into the sand dragon’s mouth, just seconds ago, and is now deep inside its bowels, you’re sure. You clutch the baby to your chest and wail, agonized and terrified. Vanth stands at your side, a hand resting on your shoulder as you wheeze and sob.

But this is Din. He must have a plan. He has to have a plan; he’s a battle-worn warrior and you’ve never seen him lose a fight. You’d stormed off before you could hear the rest of his plans the other night- maybe this was part of it. But the way Vanth stares at the dragon in terror makes you think that maybe it isn’t. Maybe Din just really fucked it up. You set the little green kid in his cradle and stand, sniffling and clinging to the metal sphere as if it’s your last lifeline to Din.

Suddenly, there’s a burst of green goo and out flies a shining silver rocket: it’s Din. “Oh thank the fucking Maker,” you shout as he lands not far from your small group, the wailing and dying sand beast behind him.

He’s covered in slime, but you’ve never been so happy to see the man. You rush to him and throw your arms around him, not giving a single fuck as you jump on him. “Please, never fucking do that again,” you wheeze into his cape, getting yourself covered in slime.

The hug is not comfortable. Din is all beskar where you want to feel his strong body, but it’s all worth it when he wraps his arms around you too. You’re crying, he knows it, and he knows just why. “I didn’t do it because you said it. You know that, right?”

You let go of him, sniffling and wiping your eyes. “Yeah. I was just so scared- oh Maker, Din, I can’t fucking lose you,” you admit, freely crying now. “I love you, I really do, and I can’t-“

“How?”

You look at him in confusion.

“How do you love me?”

This damn man. He’s full of surprises, just getting literally eaten alive by a krayt dragon, and now he’s asking you for a full emotional confession. You’re still reeling from the shock, but the fact that he’s there is enough. You don’t care that Cobb is definitely listening over your shoulder. “Every way. All of them. Romantic, friendship, family. You feel like my home and I want to be with you.” No better time than now, you suppose, to admit this all.

Din walks a step closer. “Romantic. Huh.”

“I hate that fucking helmet,” you admit, trying to deflect the emotion between the two of you. “I can never see your face. Can’t know what you’re thinking, your tone, your-“

Din cuts you off. “We ride back to the village and clean up. Meet me in the home as the suns set.”

What that means, you have no clue, but you nod. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” you murmur, putting a hand on the cut-out cheek of his helmet.

The town rejoices when you come back, shouting and celebrating over the dragon’s death and the plentiful meat that came with the creature. You’d joined in the reverie, taking a shot of spotchka and chanting along to a Tatooinian call-and-response they’d started. It was wonderful, really, and you and the little green thing were the stars. They admired the little green thing, cooing over him. You were proud to stand there as his mother.

The party died as the suns set. Din was notably absent from the hubbub, preferring to be alone as usual. You and the kid talked with the villagers, but as the suns started to sink, you excused yourself and found your way to the spare home you and Din each had rooms in.

Vanth and the women had taken the baby when you told them you were going to talk with Din. Not that it was hard: they all loved the little beast, showered him with affection. It was practically a competition over who got to play with him most.

The building has a warm glow as you wander over to it, wrapping your arms around yourself. The night has become cold now that the two harsh suns have sunk below the horizon, and it’s a relief to open the door to the home and feel the warmth radiating from a fireplace inside.

You find Din staring out of a window on the back, watching the endless wind sweep across the sand dunes, a dark sky contrasting the golden ground. Just his silhouette is visible, black against the deep blue. “Hi,” you say quietly as you walk in, the worn floorboards creaking beneath your feet no matter how deliberately you step. “Glad to see you got cleaned up.”

The man tilts his head in an obvious eye roll, even through the helmet. The slime was disgusting, although Din’s adoptive son had seemed to enjoy the gooey texture, as little ones are prone to. “I almost died and you’re already back to the sarcasm.”

“It’s called a coping mechanism,” you laugh gently and place a hand on his shoulder. There’s no beskar there, just soft fabric warmed by his body. It makes you shiver; even in the safety of the Crest, Din never takes off the armor. You wonder why it’s gone. Maybe to clean it?

Din’s quiet for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your fingers splayed over his shoulder in such an affectionate gesture. “You know how much I trust you, don’t you?” He asks and the black visor turns toward you, admiring what’s visible of your face in the moonlight. Your eyes glimmer and he admires them, the color he’s always loved.

You nod and smile just a little, cheeks growing rounder with the movement. “Of course.” He’s trusted you with his son, the most important thing to him in the galaxy. There’s one clear gesture even now: the absence of the beskar from his form. Maker, he’s broad, shoulders just as wide as with the metal.

He nods and shuts the window’s shutters, allowing even less light in before turning to you. There’s just a soft glow in the room, outlining the shape of the helmet and his shoulders. You can’t see any detail, just the shape. He walks over towards the long comfortable seating in the middle of the room and you instinctively follow, standing in front of it and stopping when he stops, facing him. His hands find your shoulders and his fingertips brush down your arms until they find yours. “Take off my helmet.”

“What? No,” you exclaim, frowning even though he can’t see it.

“Can you see anything?” He asks, a hand gesturing, an even darker shadow through the already murky visibility.

“No.”

“My Creed says you cannot see my face. Not that I can’t remove the helmet.”

You gulp hard, your fingers lacing through his. They’re bare. You’ve never felt them before. Often you’ve wondered if they’re calloused and tough from his work, soft from being hidden beneath the soft leather for all those years, or somewhere in between. They do fall into that in between, but they’re warm and strong and large, even without the leather casing them.

“I can’t do that to you,” you shudder, squeezing his fingers. “It’s the very thing about you, that you can’t take it off,” you start to ramble. You want to, desperately, but there’s no turning back now. If you feel his face, if you’re even so lucky as to kiss him, you’ll never be able to get enough of it. You’ll be subjected to an eternity of longing, even more than you’re yearning now.

“I want you to,” he breathes, his beskar-covered forehead falling against yours. “Please, cyare.”

“Why don’t you hate me?” You ask, your voice straining. You need to keep stalling, need to keep pushing it off or you’re actually going to do it. “I’m so mean to you. All the time,” you point out to him. You do it to keep him away, but he’s persistent. He never seems to care. “All we do is argue.”

“I may not be able to use the Force like the kid,” he mumbles, bringing one hand up to cup your face. “But I can sense your feelings. You don’t hide them well.”

“Din,” you plead, biting your lip and closing your eyes to prevent the tears that are threatening to well in them. “You can’t do this.”

“I can, and I want to.”

“Why are you so fucking patient with me when I’m only ever a bitch to you?” You practically wail, half annoyed and half honored. “You’re such a good man, Din. You don’t deserve someone shitty like me. I’ve got no hunting skills, I’m too stubborn, I’m mean and-”

He stops you by lifting your hands, setting them on either side of his helmet. “You can’t see me, so it doesn’t break the Creed. I want you to do this, because I want you.” He’s eternally blunt, but in this moment you can’t tell if it’s breaking your heart or warming it. “I love you too. Please. Take it off.”

“This is your last fucking chance, Djarin,” you tell him with a wavering voice.

“Cyare.”

“Okay,” you nod and take a deep breath. Din unlatches the little bit at the bottom that keeps it sealed against his head, and there’s a soft rush of air. Your hands grip either side and you slowly lift it off. Din takes it once it’s gone and rests it on the plush seat.

Your hands are drawn to his face like you’re being pulled on a string, your skin prickling as you feel the stubble along his chin and jaw. Your fingers trace his face for a few moments, exploring the new terrain. His cheeks feel hot, and his lips make you shiver again with how soft they are. Swallowing hard, you dare to look at his silhouette, noticing his hair is mostly matted down from the helmet. “What color are your eyes, Din?”

“Brown.”

You smile at that, and you rest your head against his shoulder, your hands dropping to your sides. His arms encircle you and it feels perfect, like you were meant to be like this for all of eternity and it took you long enough. “Of course they are.”

He chuckles at that and presses a kiss into your head, his hands finding your waist. “I did take this off for a reason.”

You lift your head, looking at his just-visible shape. “Really? I don’t know what you mean,” you flirt.

He’s silent. You’re sure he’s rolling his eyes, absolutely certain. “May I kiss you?”

The words are ever blunt, just like Din. “Yes, you bantha,” you tease, but the laughter is gone as his hands find your face again.

Just like that, his lips are on yours, radiating heat and love and it immediately tops the feeling of his arms around you. You gasp, not expecting him to do it so quickly, but your lips quickly meld to his and you sigh in content.

You stay like that for a while, hands traveling each other’s heads and necks and shoulders and sides as you kiss. He’s so warm and strong, his muscles just as sculpted as the indestructible metal that covers him. He’s so human.

After a bit, Din breaks away and presses his forehead to yours once more. He doesn’t speak, just rests there, his hands on your waist. His breath mingles with yours. For once, you’re speechless, unsure of what you can say back. The sarcasm has been stripped from your body like the beskar from Din’s.

“I better put the helmet back on,” he murmurs.

“Please don’t,” you whisper, tucking your face into the curve of his neck. You sit on the couch and he follows, desperate not to lose your touch. “Just… we’ll stay like this.”

He nods. He can’t say no when you kiss his neck feather-lightly, when your skin is pressed to his like this. He hasn’t had contact like this in years. He’ll prolong it as long as he can.

You do stay like that, relaxed and curled into each other. His arm wraps around you and you curl into a ball, nestled into his side. It’s been a long day for Din, you know, but the depth of it occurs to you as his breathing slows and his muscles relax.

He’s fallen asleep in your arms. You press a soft kiss to his neck and set a timer on the wrist-comm you’re wearing, so that you’ll both wake while it’s still dark in the room. For now, he deserves his rest. His face nuzzles into your hair, and he gives a soft sigh in his sleep. Yes, this is exactly what the beskar warrior needed: rest and you.

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @tacticalsparkles

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #mando #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #din and grogu #grogu #the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfic #baby yoda

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mokutone · 4 years

Note

yo i would love to hear some of ur trans yam headcanons :) (also ps ur art is breathtaking and whenever i see it reblogged on my dash i always come here anyway to read ur tags bc they r so! good!)

thank u 🥺🥺🥺 god im sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a couple days ksdjghsdkjgh not only have i got a LOT of thoughts to put here (this is only a selection of the bigger thoughts skdjghsdkjhg) i was also super busy the past few days!!!! ty for ur patience, ur compliments, and for inviting me to ramble abt my favorite guy!

maybe the one constant in all trans people is just like. our decision to intentionally and purposefully create ourselves, to forced into an identity by outside forces and to turn away from it in search of something else, and that’s ultimately what makes captain yamato read as a trans character to me! He goes through so many identities, and they are meaningful to him, but you can also clearly tell that he’s searching for something that really fits him.

I don’t really have a lot of firm thoughts on what his specific identity would be, I’ve seen some great nonbinary yams, some lovely genderfluid yams, trans guy yams, there’s a great variety and i delight in them all!

I tend to imagine him as transmasculine and nonbinary but male aligned (which means he’d feel at least a partial connection to or comfort with masculinity) and while there are a bunch of labels for this experience of gender (demiboy, bigender, etc etc) i don’t see him as somebody who would use any specific labels, I feel like he’d keep his own experience of his gender fairly private! He’d prefer and be fine with masculine-coded terms of address, and happy enough passing as a guy.

AHH and on names...

I think Kinoe is the only name that I really see as like. a genuine deadname. It’s a name that means “The First” to my understanding, and so like, probably refers to him having the genetics of the first. Therefore, it’s kind of. literally a name referring to him as his biology...boy thats as deadname as it gets, huh? kill that shit and also danzō

Tenzō is also a name thats given to him, but to my understanding (all I know about the anbu arc is picked up thru osmosis lol) it’s a name that’s given to him twice, with affection. Once from Yukimi, who sees him as her brother (not a vessel for the first hokage’s powers, probably for the first time ever—even if it’s still another person’s name) He takes the name, gladly! Unfortunately danzō. anyway,

Later, when he starts to introduce himself to the non-root Anbu as Kinoe, Kakashi cuts him off and names him to the anbu as Tenzō. To my understanding: it’s a name at rest, not a name for one singular mission, but a name for his entire time in Anbu. It’s the name he keeps the longest. Again, it’s a name that’s given to him to him by somebody else, but it’s one that is given with the intention to free him of Kinoe, and all that Kinoe had to be.

(A note on him getting annoyed with Kakashi for calling him Tenzō in main-plot:

Most of this is of course based off of personal experience, but I find it hard to believe that he would actively dislike Tenzō as a name since it was given with such sweet intentions—most of my names have been gifts, and the only one I’ve actively taken out of rotation has been bc i cannot stand the person who used it, and the way it was used, and while Anbu was certainly bad for Yamato...I don’t think it was quite that bad. I think him telling Kakashi to stop calling him Tenzō has more to do with the use of it where it doesn’t belong—for example, while it’s not exactly a name, I am happy to be called “mokutone” here, and you may notice my friends calling me by another name, but if any of those friends called me mokutone in DMs, I would be bothered by that.)

Yamato starts off as an empty codename, given to him for the purposes of his team 7 mission by the Hokage, but I think it gets such a loving and warm association from just...using out in the sunlight, with these kids that he comes to think so fondly of (he’s such a dad. god. he’s such a fucking dad) and with the friends he makes going out drinking and actually having time to socialize—and that means a lot! I think Yamato is probably the name which becomes most meaningful and like a home to him by the end of the series. This is the active name, the name where he is most himself. It’s vital for him to have that space to grow into!

But that said, I personally feel like, if he were to continue beyond the edges of the story, this would not be the final name he bears. He’s probably well aware that a single name cannot contain who he is, or who he wants to be, and while being Given a name can be a beautiful thing (like i said, most of my names are gifts! i treasure them.) I think that, for his character arc, I would like him to name himself at some point. Even if it’s a name that only exists for private spaces, I want him to complete that self determination, to at least try it out, even if ultimately Yamato is the name everyone else will know him by.

Physical Transition Stuff

i will confess i hurt to imagine these shinobi binding 😭😭 even if an individual is binding safely (well made binder, no more than 8 hours, AND No Physically Intense Activity) they stand to risk hurting themself! In real life we gotta balance out the physical pain and the pain of dysphoria, but this is naruto and I’m Gonna Play Some Headcanon Games!

If chakra is both a kind of spiritual energy as well as directly connected to the body (as we learned in the hyūga fight) then it stands to reason that by manipulating ones own chakra, they can manipulate the body, or at least the way the body changes (such as naruto’s healing factor)

This probably is not the safest thing to do unless you’re a mednin or following the directions of one, LMAO

The second the hell of puberty started up for Tenzō he tried to hold it back by sheer force of willpower + chakra manipulation alone

but, manually controlling one’s chakra is like trying to prevent a stream from flowing with your hands alone, which is to say: an exhausting uphill battle.

He’d probably only be doing it on his down time and not on a mission, but even still the most I bet he could make it doing that without getting figured out is two months.

Luckily blockers are readily available, Tenzō just had no idea and, gender being a private experience for him, was trying to handle the whole thing entirely on his own. Soon after attempting to self-regulate hormones him-fucking-self like a very valid but desperate fool, he gets an appointment, gets a prescription, and can chill out and not have to be as hellishly aware of his body constantly.

Konoha mednin will say trans rights even if the village itself is garbage, this series is so god damn weird already, nobody can tell me a ninja taking hormones is somehow weirder than a ninja taking his dead best friends genetic superpower eye.

TWO WEEKS, THREE SPARS, AND ONE VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CONVERSATION LATER:

u might think kakashi is passing him a water bottle and they both look so exhausted bc its post spar but no. physically theyre fine, but the emotional toll of having to talk about something either of them care at all about? miracle they survived.

#lesbians4tenten #Tenzō #yamato #headcanons #kakashi says that so heavily bc both of them hate going to the hospital but blood tests are necessary for HRT usually #also kakashi is definitely trans as well. i have less headcanons about that bc i see him as like. Even More Private than yamato #(he hides 3/4 of his face. trans icon. also personal privacy icon.)#so like skdjghdskjhg him getting involved is not a moment of Concerned Cis Meddling but like. 'ghghhg this is bad. i gotta step in'#i hc that like he was one of those kids that by the time he was four he was like hey dad im a boy and sakumo was like. fuck ok!#i guess i got a son now!#yamato just did not think about it much #also while i see him having long hair as inherently him repressing his identity it has nothing to do with long hair being 'feminine'#esp bc most of the older men in naruto have long hair. sakumo j*raiya orochimaru madara the whole hyūga clan of men #but instead much more to do with. him repressing being tenzō in order to be kinoe for danzō #and if hashirama had long hair. and all he is is a weapon for hashiramas power to be used through. he too will have long hair.#its also why i wont draw yamato with long hair. while he is handsome with long hair...and an argument COULD be made for him reclaiming it #i feel like aesthetically it represents a return to a relationship he had with his body and with the idea of hashirama #that i am not interested in exploring #perhaps in sage mode it goes very long. and then he has a friend cut it off for him every time #that i could draw #ANYWAY I think everyone should have as many names as they want. you want to be called something? that's your name now congratulations #trans? cis? not sure? doesn't matter the world is your oyster and you can be called anything you want #if people dont respect that theyre jealous and being rude af lmao #image desc in alt text #for all thats worth

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adhdsix · 3 years

Text

ok so i was thinking abt the main ln kids as that “brains, brawn and heart” thing or however it goes (idk but i also dont care and its too late anyways) and i realised i could never put each of them in just one bc they all have a little of each so as fun as it is to stuff things into boxes (figuratively and literally) today i will be doing not that and analyzing the ln kids once again! by urs truly <3 (all based on my own characterization! i wont be doing rcg but?? idk maybe later?? sometime??) (also ln, vln, and ln2 spoilers)

my first thought for six was brain which makes sense. it’s stated in all sorts of official media that she’s insanely clever, especially for her age might i add. she navigates the entirety of the maw on her own, facing brutal monsters that want her dead, solving puzzles and doing a whole ton of dirty work. she’s clearly adapted to this world as well, and doesn’t break easily. shes strong too. physically and mentally. theres an astounding amount of things she has to go through, keeping in mind that this world was not made for her in mind at all. everything around her is huge, and on top of that shes basically considered vermin. but she surpasses everyones expectations with her skills, and escapes the maw alive; harmed certainly, but alive. and i was going to start this with heart is what she’s lacking, but that’s worded horribly and just .. wrong. she has tons of heart, she just doesnt really. like it. and so she deals with it differently; she pushes it down. that’s not always easy though. sometimes she lets her guard down. in vln, she helps out rcg, even if that ends horribly, her heart was in the right place. throughout the first game, she hugs nomes, and provides them a source of light and warmth. and in ln2, she becomes attached to mono possibly more than she’s ever been to anyone else. even if it wasn’t her intent, she definitely grows to care for him atleast a little; but survive is still her top priority, and always will be (as it should be tbh). we see this at the beginning when they meet; the moment mono provides an exit and shows he isn’t a threat, six bolts, and only allows him nearby when she realises he can help her. this situation ends in defeat because before she knows it, they’ve been through all of it together, and they’re friends. .. but still she pushes it down. because getting attached could be dangerous. she’s independent, strong and clever, and anyone who can’t match her wit is weak to her, and could slow her down. and even if she’s right, what she doesn’t know is that it will hurt anyways. she tries so hard not to get attached but it doesn’t always work, and pretending those feelings aren’t there only ends up hurting more than she thinks, and it will keep hurting again and again and again. as for mono, i thought he’d fit in brawn. he’s definitely the strongest of them (not to say the others aren’t strong of course), again both mentally and physically. he’s born naturally with a decent amount of strength, and like i believe i said before, you have to be strong to survive this world for long, or yknow, at all. he’s good at facing danger upfront, using tools to his advantage. mentally, he definitely worries a lot, but he also does his best to stay on the positive side of things and look for the silver lining, and help others lean towards that track too; even if they dont want it, cough cough. that’s where heart comes in. he’s got a lot of that, and isn’t very afraid to show it. having someone to protect gives him a purpose, and a feeling of fulfillment; again, even if that someone doesnt want/need it. his big heart helps him gain allies, friends even, but his need to protect can get in the way of his own survival as well. even if he’s doing the right thing, that doesn’t mean it’s not dangerous. counterpoint, like i said, having someone to protect gives him purpose; it gives him a reason to stay alive and really do his best. it’s a huge motivation for him, which is why he can easily get attached to others. as for brain, he’s also insanely clever, and is especially crafty with tools, in a similar way six is crafty with her environment, which is one of the many reasons they make a great team. onto rk! the reason i ended up with brain for six and brawn for mono is actually because i immediately thought of rk as heart; and he is. he’s kind, and very willing to help out, but he isn’t a doormat either. he’s emotionally clever and very in-tune with his own thoughts, and has a great amount of determination (hence his name/title, duh). he’s willing to give everyone a chance but knows boundaries and limitations too; there’s no manipulating or tricking him. he can tell when he’s gone too far, or when others have, and can befriend almost anyone; although that doesn’t mean he will. if someone is rude, or just doesn’t want anything to do with him, he’s aware of that and will likely return the feeling. he won’t really push (mono on the other hand definitely will, which can be both a positive and negative trait). he definitely isn’t the strongest, but again, say it with me, you have to be strong to survive in this world, mentally and physically. no amount of just heart or brains can get you out alive, even if it gets you far. although it’s not like there’s an escape at all, i suppose. while the ln world wasn’t always the way it is, it really does seem like there’s no turning back. this world is twisted and that’s just how it is now, sometimes not even strength, or all 3 traits i’ve mentioned, can get you “out” alive. rk knows firsthand.

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dreadpoetssociety · 4 years

Text

I Just Want My Brother

TW: Kidnapping, Abuse, Death, Drugs, Mentions of blood.

Prompt: hi! i loved ur reid x sis!reader!! i was wondering if u could do one with reid x teen sis!reader and maybe she was a witness to something or got kidnapped and survived or something so they have to give her a cognitive interview and she refuses to do it unless spence is there or the one asking her the questions

Note: I really liked this request. I feel like I may have gotten off topic a littttttttle bit, but I tried my best! Also, sorry for any grammatical mistakes!

()()()()()()

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3589

You were never really one to defy your elder brother’s rules, given how lenient he was with you, but it was supposed to just be one fun night out with your friends. The night scene that your friends adored was never really your cup of tea due to the horror stories Spencer would come home with. Girls getting kidnapped going on a run, girls being drugged and killed at a party, girls just going missing off the streets never to be found until it was too late, things like that. After a while, he slowly stopped giving you the gory details when he’d noticed the actual effect it had on your own life, whether or not you chose to acknowledge that when begging him to tell you more, but not knowing what was out there did scare you. Especially after stealing one of Spence’s files and looking at the photos that it held.

But, you were feeling daring on this particular night. Your friends finally convinced you to sneak out of the house. Spencer wouldn’t be back from his current job until morning, and even if you did get caught, you were generally a good kid. You bent the rules from time to time, but most high-schoolers you knew were sneaking out regularly, skipping class, doing hard drugs and even getting arrested from time to time. How bad could you be? At least, that was the reasoning your friends put into your head.

So, you thought hey, if you ever have kids, mind as well at least have one cool story to tell them. You didn’t even bother to go through the apartment window, you just walked out the door and met your friends out on the street. It was nearly midnight, but the night had just begun.

It was hours of going to this person’s house and that person’s apartment, stopping by a random party and making noise in the streets, until finally, your friends made it to a bar.

“You know,” you laughed a little anxiously, “maybe we shouldn’t. I mean I don’t even have a way of getting in there.”

“Y/N, chill. I know your brother freaks you into obeying the rules, but those things he sees have like a .0001% of actually happening. Like what are the chances really?” your friend, Elliot, smiled at you.

“Actually, about one out of 300,000 people get kidnapped, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but the actual percentage is-“

“Y/N, we’re fine! Kids do this all the time. Plus, I already paid that Barry kid to make you a fake. Consider it an early birthday gift.” your other friend, Sheila, pulled out her purse and passed you the piece of plastic. Although incredibly concerned, you were impressed by how realistic it was. You sighed.

“Fine, you’re right.” you laughed, “But there’s no way I’m convincing that bouncer that I’m 21.”

“Confidence is key. Just stroll past him like you know what you’re doing. If you look nervous they’ll know. I swear, Y/N, those dudes can smell fear.” Elliot laughed. The three of you made your way to said club entrance, and although the bouncer did seem suspicious of you, he just let you in anyway.

The club was loud, there was a band on stage and lasers going throughout the room. Alice and Elliot didn’t hesitate to drag you to the bar first. You’d drank a little before, but you’d never gotten buzzed, let alone completely drunk. It wasn’t really your style, and thankfully, Elliot and Alice respected that. They pressured you to do a lot of things, but not anything like drugs or alcohol. They merely pushed you out of your comfort zone sometimes, and irregardless of whether or not the adults around you thought they were a good influence didn’t matter to you.

“We’re going to go dance, but we’ll be nearby if you don’t want to join us! Just make sure not to go too far alone, Y/N” Alice stated, knowing you would absolutely not agree to dance with them. You smiled and nodded and the two went off to do their thing within your sight.

“What can I get you, young lady?” the man at the bar caught you off guard.

“Oh, uh, maybe just a glass of water?”

“Ah, designated driver I presume?” he laughed.

“Yeah, something like that.” you replied, “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on those two.” you nudged your head towards your two friends who were living it up with some other people in the crowd who you think might’ve been your age, too. You were sort of surprised at how easy it was to get into this club, considering so many of your peers get thrown out of it or get caught.

The man passed you the water and walked off almost a bit angrily. Understandably, though, because water is free. You made a note to leave the man a tip later anyway. It was the least you could do. You played with the straw, took a few sips, and watched as your friends danced the night away.

After a while, though, you began to feel off. Dizzy even, and you couldn’t think clearly. It was a hot summer night in a hot crowded club, the one cup of water you drank all day was right in front of you, so you figured it was the heat. You decided to take a quick trip outside to try and catch some air.

It was when you left the club that it really hit you. The world was turning, and you were barely able to stay awake.

The club was located in an area that wasn’t super lit other than the one club sign. The bouncers must’ve been in the midst of switching shifts because there wasn’t one outside.

“Hey young lady, you okay?” a man’s voice was all you could make out of him. You could see him, but you couldn’t, and it didn’t make sense. Someone grabbed you and the world went dark.

()()()()()()

You woke up slowly. You didn’t recognize your surroundings, the walls were concrete and disgusting. The room reeked of something.

You tried to stand, but something was holding you to the floor. Having looked down, you noticed sort chains attached to both wrists. Your heart sped up, but you didn’t scream.

How the hell. . . you thought. How did they get me here?

The last thing you could really remember was the water. What was in the water? It was too slow to be ketamine, too fast to be rohypnol. You wondered. Oh my god, gamma hydroxybutyric acid. Or cherry meth.

You heard someone make a noise and instantly forgot about the debate in your head. Being able to think more clearly, and your eyesight less blurred, you began to take in your surroundings. There were windows in two two of the walls without glass. Taking a look, you noticed three other women in you line of sight. One in the room with you, who was starting to wake up, and two through the left and right windows. Straight ahead was a doorway that showed a room with a table on in the middle.

It was then that you really began to understand what was happening. The exact thing you were afraid of this whole time. Your breath sped up, your heart was nearly coming out of your body, your blood ran cold.

“Hey,” the girl was awake now, “I’m Charlotte.” you looked at her wide eyed. Here you two were, chained against a wall, she was bruised and bloodied up and down, and she decided that it was appropriate to introduce herself?

“What’s happening?” you didn’t even think to reply back to her. She could be anyone. She could be the person who took you, acting as your friend. Your paranoid mind raced through multiple scenarios.

“Look, you’ll be fine as long as you listen.”

“Listen? Listen to what? To who? Who took us? What are they-“

“You need to calm down.” she whispered, “If they hear you they’ll come. They haven’t been so nice to the noisy ones.”

If anything anybody had never shut you up before, that certainly did. You could feel the fear in every nerve of your body. he other girls around you faced the floor. One was in a party dress, the other in a pan suit. Looking at them, the girls had nothing in common. One had dark hair, the other had her hair dyed a faded blue, and the last was blonde, each with a different eye color and skin tone. You tried your best to think like your brother, but you couldn’t. Unlike him, you weren’t a genius, you were just average.

You heard a door creek open and all the girls instantly looked up. Through the doorway of your room, you saw a masked man walk in. You could almost hear the other girls’ hearts pumping. You watched in terror as he began to step towards you. When he got into the room, though, he turned towards Charlotte, and began unchaining her.

“No, please!” she cried, “Please, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.”

Charlotte went quiet. He aggressively picked her up by her arm and dragged her to the table, of which he pinned her down onto and began to strap her in. It wasn’t long before he opened a cabinet out of your view, and pulled out various rusty tools.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked. You didn’t even think out what you were doing. What the hell do you think YOU’RE doing, Y/N? you thought to yourself. Unconsciously, you knew that you can’t profile this guy like Spencer could, you couldn’t talk your way out of this, but you could protect the girls around you. How? By pissing him off.

“Don’t speak, woman.” he growled.

“What are you going to do about it? Kill me?” he slammed a knife-like tool straight down into the table a millimeter next to Charlotte’s abdomen, “What? Did I hurt your masculinity, big boy?”

He unstrapped her quickly. You figured what was coming for you next, and it wasn’t long before you were on that table. The leather restraints were on way too tight, there were splinters in your back already from the poorly sanded wooden table, which you figured was on purpose. And all you could do was watch, and scream, as this man did whatever he wanted to you. hitting you, cutting you, seemingly testing out tools you’d never even seen before. The camera on the ceiling told you that he was recording this all to watch later.

And all you could do was scream out your brother’s name.

()()()()()()

You didn’t know how long you were there. Hours, days, weeks, you had no idea. Time didn’t exist down there. Ever since your first encounter with the man, you tried to deter him from the other women around you any time he came around. And fortunately for them but not for you, it worked.

All of the pain and screaming left you numb, but it wasn’t until you saw him get angrier with one of the other girls that you weren’t able to comprehend your situation anymore.

She hadn’t been doing well, the one in the party dress. The color in her skin was drained, making her paler, her eyes sunk. And you watched as the man pulled a knife from his pocket, and stuck it right through her heart. The screams from you and the girls flooded the room, and it was like the air in the building was being sucked out.

You would never forget it.

()()()()()()

You were asleep when suddenly you heard the door open again and your body began to shake. But it wasn’t the man who came in.

“Reid! I got her!” the sound of Morgan’s voice echoed in your ears. Spencer burst into the room, and while Morgan Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi tended to the other three girls, Reid and Hotch came straight to you.

“Y/N? Oh my god, Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of here.” Spencer panicked as he tugged at the chains, “Come on!”

“Y/N, do you know where the unsub went?” Hotch asked. You looked at him, you understood his words, but all you could manage to say was,

“Liquid cherry.”

“Y/N?”

“No, cherry E.” you were so distorted, either from the pain, or from the shock.

“Y/N I don’t understand.” Hotch said.

“Liquid cherry?” Reid repeated, “Y/N, do you mean Liquid E?” you nodded.

“Cherry meth.” Hotch confirmed. You don’t even know why you brought it up. It wasn’t important, and although that’s what the man used on you, it wasn’t even relevant at this point.

The rest was a blur. Being free had a different meaning to it for you then. But yet, you were brought into an interrogation room after the ambulance had deemed that you didn’t have any truly hospitalizing injuries, just horrible bruises along with scars that would probably never fade away. You looked down at the table.

Emily Prentiss and JJ sat on the other end of the table.

“Y/N, we know you’ve been through something traumatic, but that man is still out there. The other two girls aren’t conscious, and you’re the only one who knows what he looks like.” Prentiss explained, “You might not remember, but we if you’re able, we want to do a cognitive interview with you. It might help you remember details you didn’t know you picked up on.”

“I don’t want to be here alone.” you whispered. JJ sighed sadly for you, “I don’t want to do it unless it’s Spencer.”

“I know, Y/N, but your brother is personally involved now. He can’t work on this case.” she said. In your heart you knew why, and you understood completely. But your mind just didn’t follow, and you shook your head. You looked up, and the color of the room and placement of the mirror seemed to eerily familiar, and the scene switched.

There you were, back on that concrete floor, screaming out for Spencer. All you wanted was for your brother to come save you. You saw the man walking towards you. You screamed louder as he got closer.

You felt someones hands on your shoulders and the scene had changed again. You were breathing heavily, the interrogation chair was on its back, and you were in the corner of the room. Emily and JJ were crouched with concerning eyes in front of you.

“Y/N? It’s us.”

“I can’t do it.” you sobbed, “Not without him. I won’t.”

Emily and JJ looked at each other and nodded. Emily walked out of the room while JJ sat on the floor with you.

“You’re safe now.”

“He’s still out there he’s not going to stop.” you whispered, “I just want my brother. I just want Spencer.”

She held you tight.

“We won’t let anything happen to you. Spence won’t let anything happen to you.” she reassured.

It wasn’t long after that Spencer finally entered the room and signaled that it was okay for JJ to leave.

“Y/N,” his voice was soft, and you instantly felt safer in the presence of your brother, “are you sure you can do this?” you nodded in response. As much as it terrified you, you didn’t want that monster hurting any other girls. He was still out there somewhere. Spence helped you up and fixed your chair. You sat across from each other.

“Y/N, I need you to close your eyes.” he said. You did so, “Now think. What’s the weather like before you met the unsub? Was it cloudy, light, dark?”

“It was night. The sky was so clear.” you replied, imagining the time in your mind.

“You’re going out. Who are you with?” he asked.

“Alice and Elliot. Spencer, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have broken the rules.” you cried. Spencer hadn’t even considered the thought of you sneaking out until now, but had decided that it was a talk for another time, if he thought you’d ever be able to handle it.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m just glad you’re safe.” he said. With your eyes closed, you couldn’t see the tears pricking your brother’s eyes. He’d seen many tragic things, done some of the most gruesome cognitive interviews, seen the most disgusting and vile actions done by the most heartless of monsters, but none of that beat this. His own sister. He’d watched the tapes that the man had recorded , and his heart sunk every time you screamed out his name, but his anger grew just as much, “Where did you guys go right before you met the unsub?”

“The club on 16th street.” you stated, seeing yourself and your friends right outside the doors, “Alice and Elliot convinced me to go in.”

“What are you doing in there?”

“Alice and Elliot went to dance. I don’t like dancing, so they stay near me while I sit at the bar?” you realized that you talked as if you were presently there.

“Who is around you? Anyone you recognize?” he asked.

“No, I’m alone with the bartender.”

“Is he talking to you?” Spencer questioned. It was then that you recognized something.

“What can I get you, YOUNG LADY?” the bartender’s voice echoed in your mind, and aligned with the man who asked if you were okay outside before you were taken. You realized that the size and stature of the man who had tortured you matched with the bartender. You gasped and opened your eyes quickly. You were visibly distraught, so Spencer grabbed your hand in a quick attempt to comfort you.

“Y/N, are you okay? If it’s too much we can-“

“The bartender, Spencer.” you huffed out, “He said something to me and spoke to me outside after I was drugged.”

“Do you know what he looks like? Or his name?” he asked. Your thoughts were so fragmented now that you couldn’t remember, and a few tears slipped down your face as shook your head, “Do you want to try to keep going? You don’t have to Y/N I don’t want to put you through this again.”

“No!” you yelled, “No, it’s okay. It’s important. I can do this as long as you’re here.” He smiled slightly at how much you trusted him, but it quickly faded.

“The bartender,” he started, “He’s talking with you, what’s he saying?”

“He asks me if I want a drink. Calls me ‘young lady.’” you replied, as you saw yourself seated at the bar. The man just looked like a blur to you, and you tried so hard to remember him.

“What’s around him?” Spencer asked.

“Well drinks, obviously. Alcohol.”

“What kind?”

“He’s got all kinds of fancy bottles. Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Patron, Bacardi,” you paused, “The Smirnoff is the same color as his shirt. A red shirt as a bartender. He stands out in an odd way.”

“His shirt, is he wearing anything? A name tag?”

“He has a lanyard. It’s got pins on it and a picture with his-“ you see his name in big black letters on the end of the lanyard, “Andrew Vaughn. The drug is started to hit me now Spencer I-“

“Hey,” his voice was soft as he quickly got up and hugged you, “you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“I’m so sorry!” you sobbed into his shirt, grabbing onto him. He put his head on yours.

“It’s not you’re fault Y/N. You’ve been through something traumatic, you can’t be sorry for it.” he said.

“If I hadn’t gone out like you told me, Spence! And those other girls. The one in the party dress! I watched her die! He just stabbed her and she bled out in agony, Spencer!” you nearly yelled. You almost couldn’t breathe, and your face was wet with the tears.

Spencer’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Reid knew some what of what you were going through. He reminded himself of what it was like when Tobias Hankel, and tried to think of how he wanted people to treat him then when he was freed, and how long it took for him to be okay again. He never really was, and he was afraid that you would never be able to feel safe again, but understood why you wouldn’t. He just wanted to take care of you, and blamed himself for not being there.

Within the next few hours, Hotch had refused to let a very angry Spencer go with the team to the unsub’s house. The BAU, although, successfully brought your kidnapper into custody.

“You don’t have to worry now, Y/N” Morgan said to you, “We’re gonna make sure he never sees the light of day again. He’ll live the rest of his life behind those bars.”

“Yeah.” was all you managed to say with the slightest smile as you walked through whatever precinct you were in.

“Y/N, Garcia told me to tell you that if you ever need anything, she’s here. I think the same goes for the rest of us.” Rossi explained.

“Thanks. I owe you all everything.” you said.

“Let’s get you home.” Spencer put his hand on your shoulder, careful not to touch any of your injuries, and the two of you walked out together.

You would never be the same after that, but at least you had your brother by your side.

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danteinthedevildom · 3 years

Text

Ngl I’ve been thinkin over the brother’s fears stuff from the most recent (?) lessons (bc I’m a dirty cheat and saw spoilers so ofc I went and looked up as much shit as I could) and like,

Ok shovin thots under the cut bc it got long oop. Also bc spoilers but y’know.

1 - Lucifer thinkin the “light” (which is ofc God lbr) was his fear despite not fearin it at all is p. weird. Like there was no hesitation, no fear. He just looked at it and went “ew it’s you never thot I’d see you again” and killed it. So clearly that’s NOT his actual fear. Def. Simeon’s I think, like he says a lil later.

So either Lucifer knew it was Simeon’s and “claimed” it to save Simeon’s feelins or smthn or he legit figured it was his fear bc the only thing he could think to be scared of is the guy who threw him out.

Which like. Is such a fuckin non-answer re: his actual fear (tho he did say once goin back to the Celestial Realm was his “greatest fear” or smthn so maybe that’s still true so they didn’t figure that bringin it up again’d be that fun), but is interestin bc it says a lot abt how he sees God.

Like. He got beat and kicked out and had his sister (almost) killed, but he’s still got 0 goddamn fear of his dad. Literal creator of everything God with a capital G don’t scare him. I figure bc he already did the worst thing he could’a done, and he survived that, so what else’s there to fear?

Tho it bein Simeon’s fear is... hm. Def. makes it sound like Simeon’s fearin seein God again. Either bc that’s just smthn any angel’d fear - maybe they only see God one-on-one if they’ve done smthn wrong so that’d be like seein your headteacher pop up outta nowhere, knowin he only comes outta the teacher’s room when you done fucked up - or bc he’s hidin smthn that makes seein God a really Bad Thing. Guilt or worries over some kinda sin?

I mean duh. He’s in love with MC. That ain’t a hidden thing anymore. He’s kissed MC plenty times and I think even said the L-word once or twice. That’s def. grounds to get murderised (as we know, RIP Lilith).

Also hella interestin in a metaphorical sense tho. Like, God’s a light. Simeon’s scared of somethin comin to light. Da-dum-tss, but what a hella cool way of showin that it’s a (technical) secret that’s got him all wound up.

2 - Mammon and Levi both fearin demon-form Lucifer is... understandable, but also kinda sad. Like, legit sad, not “wow ur so sad lol”.

Levi’s way of sayin it makes sense tho. Lucifer only goes full demon form when he’s hella pissed, or outta control. He’s so damn powerful he don’t need to go into that form often, bc he can handle p. much anythin without it - plus he’s just got a p. good control on himself, so no accidental demon-form slips.

Unless ofc he’s so fuckin angry that it just leaps out. We’ve seen it. He gets murderous, and boom - form’s out. Or, situation’s so damn dire it’s got him on edge, and boom - form’s out. Him bein in demon form’s never good.

But him bein in demon form and after them is even worse.

Makes me wonder tho. If it’d just been angry Lucifer, why’d Levi specify it as his demon form’s anger? He gets angry at them hella often, and Mams esp. is strung up p. much daily, so clearly they’re not scared of him bein angry at them.

It’s him bein angry at them while enraged. So either they’ve both pissed him off before bad enough that he’s gone full demon form, and whatever happened then was so fuckin terrifyin they’ve never recovered from it,

Or they know that demon form Lucifer is scary shit, and even tho he’s not gone for them like that before, it’s smthn they’re terrified of in principle. Like, you’ve seen your dad mad on the phone before, and he’s never yelled at you like that, but you know he’s capable of it and that’s terrifyin as shit bc what if you do smthn that pisses him off enough to yell at you like that?

A lil part of me leans towards the latter bc tho they were scared it wasn’t smthn Levi said as tho it’d happened. More like smthn he’s hypothetically scared of. Plus idk what times Lucifer’d be so pissed he goes full rage at them? His demon form’s only really come out when the family’s in danger. Even shit like Lotan bein summoned don’t usually end in a demon form Lucifer (I’m p. sure anyway).

3 - Ok so like who was surprised by this. Asmo’s beauty is p. integral to who he is. He’s nothin if he’s not beautiful, and that’s what I think scares him. Not the bein ugly, but that bein ugly means he’s not Asmo.

Means he can’t get the attention he needs, can’t be loved by ppl, won’t get all the adoration and affection - he won’t be popular. And Asmo hella needs to be reassured that he’s pretty and loved. It’s who he is and what his identity is based on.

Plus we’ve seen I’m p. sure a couple scenes where he’s been a lil worried/nervous abt if MC likes him for him. Beyond the beauty. He legit don’t think there’s anythin worth lovin if he’s not pretty, so ofc him bein ugly’s gonna be his biggest fear. Bc who’s gonna love him then.

4 - Also smthn no-one’s gonna be surprised by. It’s his whole sense of identity. That’s not gonna go away for him overnight, y’know? The fact that it was angel Lucifer, tho - not just, like, normal Lucifer - was a p. cool touch.

That’s his roots. Not Lucifer the demon - Lucifer the angel. That’s what he’s based on. Smthn he never was but was always part of.

He’s legit just the Lil Hal-Dirk connundrum which jfc that’s showin my fandoms huh. Is smthn that comes from smthn else its own unique person, or is it just a copy that’s always gonna get drawn back to what it was? How can it be original when everythin it is came from smthn else?

That’s a hell of an identity crisis. Even bein Wrath and bein p. physically different and even likin different shit’s not enough to stop that feelin of ig imposter syndrome? Or of just bein a fragment of smthn else. Esp. when you know everyone else’s their own damn being. No one can understand where he’s comin from bc his “birth” was totally unique. He’s not just, like, Lucifer’s son or whatever - he’s legit a part of Lucifer’s emotions that just got plopped out one day.

(Except ofc he’s not bc Lucifer knew he was different and felt him like a different presence for a while before the Fall but Satan’s got his memories and that’s kinda like bein someone anyway, ain’t it?)

So yeah, not surprisin, but also? I rlly hope he gets confident in who he is one day. Legit the idea that he’s still sittin there goin “who am I?” just hurts.

5 - This bitch got trauma. Lbr it was either gonna be Belphie or it was gonna be Lilith and we all knew that was comin. Beel’s still not over the death of Lilith and his “role” in it (bc survivor’s guilt is a bitch and he’s still thinkin “not being able to save two ppl in two different places at the same time” is a sin), so losin anyone else is gonna hurt him.

But bein the reason he lost them? Oh that’s gonna hurt him even more. Esp. with the blame he’s still puttin on himself. It’s one thing to be like the passive cause that someone died but bein the active cause? Even by accident? Poor Beel.

I don’t think anythin could’a been worse for him. That ain’t just a fear, that’s outright smthn he’s still strugglin with PTSD over. Like hell no shit he almost/did break down over it, that’s just shovin a trigger right in his face.

6 - Bein alone, bein abandoned, not bein able to find anyone in pure darkness. That’s... damn. Either that’s lingerin trauma from bein locked up in the attic, knowin that no one was gonna find him or could hear him (which, fuck, how much did he try’n call for his brothers to come get him only to realise no one was gonna come?), or smthn set up that fear before the attic and the attic just made it hells of worse.

Like that wasn’t just “bein in a room apart from ppl”, it was outright “not knowin where anyone is, or seein/hearin/feelin them”. Total sensory deprivation.

Oh. His worst fear’s not feelin anythin. That’s. Y’all.

Idk how to end this now I’m just big hurty thinkin abt the last two jfc. No wonder Belphie’s always wantin to be asleep next to smthn. “He sleeps better with someone there” no sir you just hella fear sleepin bc your sin’s legit exactly what you’re terrified of and havin smthn there’s the best way to fix it.

#obey me #danteintherambles #idk what to tag this as I got distracted like half way through lmao #Writin out this instead of figurin out homeschoolin stuff y'all know how it is

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