#Ranting on an app where no one follows me because the notes app just isn’t doing it for me anyone

[atla-suki]

please I am begging you, please speak every aspect of your mind on Sokka Suki and Tophs battle, I need someone to appreciate how traumatizing that would have been as much as I do

like when watching the finale I had no worries that Zuko Katara and Aang would be ok because this is a kids show.

but two nonbenders and a blind girl who can't see past the airship she is on? I was convinced that one of them would die

ok before i start i just wanna say i spent like half an hour writing out my thoughts in my notes app and then the whole fxcking app crashed randomly and i lost 70% of what i wrote. so yeah just gotta share that frustration. worth it tho bc atla<3

anyways here we go (under the cut bc it’s LOOOONG)~~

sokka, suki, and toph vs the airship fleet is so underrated. i know it doesn’t have the iconic imagery of the final agni kai, and it isn’t the climax of the whole show like aang vs ozai, but it’s so very underrated.

this fight has such a different tone compared to the other two (sorry white lotus but the ba sing se fight isn’t gonna be included). aang vs ozai and zuko vs azula both have one crucial thing: an element of hope. although the outcome of each fight isn’t spelled out for us, we as an audience can pretty much gather that our main protagonist (aang) isn’t going to die. it’s unlikely that zuko or katara will be killed too, considering how significant they are to the story and their strength as benders (and the fact that it’s been established that azula is clearly not sound of mind. zuko and katara are at an advantage in their fight.)

but for sokka, suki and toph? there’s no element of hope here. there’s no definitive plan they’re following like there is for zuko or for aang. if they fxck up, they’re DEAD. and that makes this specific battle SO tragic and traumatic.

straight off the bat, sokka, suki and toph are at a disadvantage. it’s just like you said - they’re two non-benders and a blind girl completely out of her element. and they’re surrounded by firebenders who have comet-enhanced abilities. they’re the characters that, if this weren’t an animated kids show, would most likely be the ones killed off. they’re extremely vulnerable in this battle. and what happens to the extremely vulnerable children during this battle? they get separated.

this immediately opens up so many more possibilities and outcomes of what might happen. will sokka and toph be okay? will suki be the only survivor? it’s only once suki returns and everyone is confirmed to be safe does the audience experience a moment of relief. the anxiety levels (as an audience watching this scene) are HIGH.

also fun (but not really fun) fact the scene where sokka and toph are hanging off the edge of the airship and sokka says it looks like the end ABSOLUTELY WRECKED ME the first time i watched it. i was literally numb afterwards. had to pause the show and have a breather for a moment because it was SO FXCKING INTENSE. can you even imagine what it would’ve felt like for them? for sokka, knowing he can’t do anything else to protect the people he cares for (which is such an important theme and important element of his character throughout the whole series, stemming from way back when hakoda tells him to look after katara and their tribe. this is a rant for another time tho). and for toph, not being able to see or sense anything other than sokka’s grip on her hand and his (potentially last) words. it’s so sad.

as well as all of this, sokka directly addresses the possibility (and likelihood) of that moment being their last - see: “i don’t think boomerang is coming back, toph. it looks like this is the end.” no other character expresses concerns regarding their safety in the same way during their respective battle. this specific battle is so real, so raw, so intense, and it’s easy to gather that even the characters themselves are lost. sokka, who usually has a plan, is playing everything by ear. he has no idea what he’s doing, which just adds to the uncertainty in the scene and for audiences. this doesn’t apply to either of the other battles we see, where the characters’ destinies and the general plot of the show have been leading up to these battles for a quite a while now. audiences don’t know what to expect with sokka, suki and toph.

also the sukka enthusiast in me wants to add that by having sokka and suki in a relationship, there is yet another thing at stake here. there’s a common theme in film media of lovers being separated (whether by death or by some other circumstance) and this just adds to the intensity and anxiety surrounding this battle. it’s not a significant point but i did notice it and do feel strongly about it.

before I go onto the next thing I do want to circle back and focus again on toph’s experience during this battle. she is probably the most helpless of the three of them since she can’t see and the entire thing happens in the air (IN. THE. AIR. i’ll come back to this next). she is LITERALLY out of her element. and there is something so tragic about her not being able to do anything or sense anything when she’s just holding onto sokka’s hand. that shit breaks my heart. i’m sorry but like no way any other fight/battle is this emotional and intense. no way.

okay next point is the setting. like i just said, they’re in the GODDAMN AIR. i need to mention the sheer amount of fxcking brutality that occurs during this battle. so many people (more than likely) died as a result of sokka crashing that airship into the others. why? because of the setting of the battle. they’re practically trapped. they’re in the most unsafe situation of any of the characters. i mean, look at how suki got separate from sokka and toph - that’s EXTREMELY dangerous. it’s honestly surprising she survived that. the three of them are jumping from airship to airship and none of said airships are stable. at the very least, if zuko or katara or aang were in terrible danger, they have the last resort of escape. sokka, toph and suki do not. yet another thing that makes their battle so traumatic.

the setting of their fight is very unique, leaves them with little space to be creative in their fighting (no running, no hiding. just a metal airship and lots of firebenders). i don’t have a clip of it but if u watch the moment when suki returns and saves sokka and toph, you can see sokka drop toph onto the airship suki’s on before he jumps down himself. and i CANNOT for the life of me get this thought out of my head: toph had no idea what was going on in that tiny moment. sokka tells her it’s the end, she hears a crash, and next thing she knows is sokka’s dropping her. how fxcking scary would that be? that should be enough evidence alone to confirm that the airship fight is the most tragic and traumatic.

all in all this fight scene is sooooo underrated and also SO not suitable for a kids show. shit’s tragic as hell. thank u for the ask i hope this satisfies your wants. sorry for the insanely long post lmao i got carried away. anyways pls send more asks like this i love overanalysing the smallest things in shows! v fun :)

#ask #atla #sozin’s comet #sokka #suki #toph #this is actually so long i’m so sorry (no i’m not) lmao #i want to give sokka suki and toph a huge hug they deserve it #analysis

[awakeshedreams]

sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

.

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

.

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

#bangtan #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts smut #bts au #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts high school au #jungkook high school au

[watchmegetobsessed]

Update - Harry Styles

i’ve been deep inmy harry feels and this thought just wouldn’t leave me alone so i had to write it. im thinking about starting a taglist for harry, i think i’ll write more about him in the future. let me know if you’d be interested in the taglist!

word count: ~5.9k

masterlist

Sequel: The best present

Harry is not that into YouTube videos, has never really been, which is kind of ironic seeing the number of videos on the internet that is about him. The man himself who makes everyone talk online feels weird seeing someone talking on his screen, looking into his soul as if they were right there with him. But today he felt the sudden urge to be like his peers and get lost in random rambling videos from strangers, who felt the need to put themselves out there.

He has made a mean cup of tea for himself, made himself comfortable on his couch with his laptop balancing on his thighs and now is opening up his browser to unwind in an unusual way. As YouTube opens in front of his tired eyes, he stops when he tries to type in the keywords he is searching for. What is he looking for really? He thinks to himself trying to remember what he heard from his friends when they talked about funny or interesting videos. One thing is for sure, he is trying to avoid watching videos of himself in any content. He has had enough of him for the day, it’s time to focus on someone else, even if he doesn’t know the person.

He scrolls through several pages of many different keywords until he settles for a video where a girl talks about how her latest moving day went. Starting off Harry feels weird listening to her talk about such personal things as where her bed went in her room, how she packed all her stuff to fit them in the boxes, but soon enough this feeling settles and he starts to realize it’s kind of relaxing.

It doesn’t take too long for him to fall down a rabbit hole and by the time his tea empties out from his cup he is intensely watching a guy rant about his boss at Subway while doing a mukbang. The latter is a new discovery for Harry, he has never heard of it before, but he can see why some people find it satisfying.

The video ends, Harry checks the time and sees that it’s already after midnight and he hasn’t even realized how fast time flew by.

“Alright, just one more,” he mumbles to himself scrolling down the column of the recommended videos until his eyes stop at one particular upload at the very bottom.

July update for my Sammy, ready the title and an eye-catchingly beautiful girl is smiling from the thumbnail. He finds her breathtaking, the lack of makeup, the worn out hoodie she is wearing and the many various plants in the background makes it appear she is sitting in the middle of the forest.

Harry finds himself clicking on the video before he could even decide consciously to watch it. The screen loads and the girl appears in front of him, this time in a much larger size.

“Hi Sammy, welcome back to our channel,” she starts with an angelic little laugh as she pulls her shoulders up to her ears as if the camera is making her shy. She has no reason to be shy, Harry thinks to himself. His second thought is about Sammy, he is one lucky guy to know this angel and have her think about him. “It’s Y/N here, your one and only sister,” she adds.

Sister. The word brings Harry relief and he is surprised to feel this way, but he has no time to think anything of it because she starts talking again.

“Here is my July update, I’m sorry I’m a little late, but we got back from Oregon yesterday. Aunt Ella is sending you kisses and hugs, she missed you at the barbeque, or maybe it was just your helping hand at the grill,” she chuckles to herself, probably recalling the memory.

Harry has no idea who Aunt Ella is or where she lives in Oregon, but the way she talks about it makes him feel like he is part of the family a little.

Y/N carries on and starts talking about everything that has happened in July. Painting the shed at her parents’ home, buying a new armchair, one her cat absolutely adores and refuses to sleep anywhere else now, she went to the hairdresser to get a trim, but not too much. She tells about her plans for August, how she is thinking about going to the farmers’ market more often, and she has been playing with the idea of adopting another cat.

“I think Henry has been feeling a little lonely lately. He could use a buddy,” she tells the camera, her eyes moving to the side from where a weak but moody meow can be heard as an answer. “Yeah, I think he agrees,” she chuckles and Harry finds himself smiling at the screen.

At the end of the video she asks a few questions from Sammy, how he has been doing, if his wrist feels any better, even asks about a friend called Matthew. Harry wonders if she has ever gotten the answers to her questions and where Sammy saw this video. What is he doing that made her want to do an update on YouTube?

When the video ends Harry clicks on her profile faster than he would willingly admit to anyone and it’s like he opened the gate to paradise. Tens and maybe hundreds of videos are queuing on her page, monthly updates, birthday wishes, short story times about family gatherings, news and happenings in her life.

Harry gets lost in her tales. He watches video after video, noticing the smallest details about her, almost mentally taking notes about her updates, finding anything and everything she talks about so interesting as if he knew those people and places she mentions. He comes to realization that Sammy is her older brother who is serving somewhere in the military. Y/N is making the videos to update him about her life even if she knows most of them doesn’t get to him until weeks later, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. He also learns that Sammy sends them back lengthy emails once a month and always ends them with a joke they made up with his mates at the army. Y/N loves them even when they're not even funny, she never fails to mention that she smiled reading them.

Hours pass by and the rising Sun peeks inside the window pulling Harry back to his own reality, shocked that he just spent the whole night watching her videos and didn’t even realize how deep he has gotten in her life. Lucky for him he has nothing planned until the afternoon, so shutting his laptop he sets it aside and heads straight to bed, but lying between his silky sheets he catches himself staring out the window, wondering what Y/N might be doing right now. From what he collected she lives somewhere in Spokane and has family in Seattle and Portland, which puts her quite a few time zones behind him. He finds the thought of them going to bed at the same time despite the distance a little funny. He lies in bed for quite some time before he finally drifts off to sleep with a particular girl on his mind, who doesn’t even know he is thinking about her.

 “Do you think you can fall for someone you have never met?”

Harry’s question catches Mitch a little off-guard, but he is kind of used to his random bits of thoughts. Pouring some sugar into his coffee he follows the wondering singer to a free table in the corner.

“Isn’t it what all your fans feel?” he answers with a question, earning a surprised look from Harry. He hasn’t thought about this side, now the situation is kind of ironic, he supposes.

“Y’re right,” he nods stirring his coffee around in the small cup.

“Want to let me in on your thoughts?”

Harry feels a little shy to admit how he has watched all of her videos in the past few days, 207 to be exact and now he feels an oddly deep connection to this girl he has never even seen outside of a screen. Last night he dug up her Instagam profile, and even though she is not posting as frequently as she does on her channel, it was a refreshing change to see her in different settings. Chilling at a lake, having drinks with her friends, playing with her parents’ puppy, it amazed him that she has a whole life outside that small portion she lets him see in her videos.

Hesitantly, but he tells his friend about his latest hobby, if it’s not too weird to call it that, while his friend patiently listens and nods along his words while sipping on his morning coffee.

“D’you think I’m crazy?” Harry sighs leaning back in his seat, looking at his friend and colleague for validation that he hasn’t lost his mind entirely.

“Definitely not,” he chuckles shaking his head. “It’s like falling for that girl in school you know so much about but never really met.”

“Only that I’m stalkin’ this poor girl.”

“This is not stalking. We both know it’s far from that.” Harry nods with slight relief that his situation doesn’t seem as bad as he has been feeling lately. “Have you gotten in touch with her?”

“And what am I supposed to do? Comment on her video that I think her cat’s a cutie and I watched all her videos in three days ‘cuz I think she’s beautiful and I find her voice soothing?”

Mitch lets out a soft chuckle at the oddly specific answer he just gave and finds it amusing how interested his friend has grown about someone in such a short time.

“Maybe phrase it a little different.”

“So you do think I should reach out?”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Use your personal YouTube, leave her a nice comment. Maybe she’ll reply.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know, Harry,” he chuckles. “Just go with it and you’ll see. You are obviously interested in her, it’s better than just sit and watch her videos.”

Harry agrees. It wouldn’t hurt to try to reach out to her, possibly in a not too creepy way. Maybe just a sweet comment on one of her videos and if she replies… Well, he doesn’t know what comes after, but he’ll figure it out.

 Y/N updates regularly. Usually once a week and mostly it’s Sunday when a new video gets uploaded. This next Sunday Harry finds himself checking her page occasionally through the day to see if there’s a new update, but it seems like she is missing today. Right until he is driving home and gets a notification from the app.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video! It reads and Harry’s heart beats a tad bit faster. He thinks about pulling over to see it right away, but he tells himself that would be a bit too much, so he is forced to wait until he is in the comfort of his home.

Finally sitting on his couch he opens up his laptop and clicks on the video that has the title: September update.

Y/N sits in her usual spot, Henry in her arms as she is gently stroking his head with a warm smile on her face.

“Hi Sammy! Welcome back to our channel,” she greets him with her usual words and Harry loves how she calls the channel theirs. “This is my September update, even though not much has happened,” she breathes out, eyes wandering to the window besides her and Harry wonders what she sees from her window every day. Does she live in the city? Is it an apartment or a house with a backyard? Are there any trees or does her room have a terrible view, maybe just another house next to hers?

She starts her talk about the month, which she spent mostly with working, a little shopping and meeting her friends. She tells him about her planned trip to the local shelter to see possible new kittens to add to her household and Harry feels himself growing excited about it. He even thinks about what kind of cat he can see get along well with Henry even though he has never even met him.

“Anyway, mom and dad miss you, I miss you too. I loved your joke about ducks in your latest email,” she chuckles sweetly, bringing a smile to Harry’s face as well. “Mom is excited to see you at Christmas, our cousins will come to Portland as well. Maya can’t wait to play Jenga with you, she said she’s been practicing.”

The video soon ends as Y/N tells Sammy how much she loves him and eventually turns the camera off.

He straight away moves the cursor to the beginning of the video and as she starts talking again he scrolls down to the comment section that’s entirely empty. There are only two views on her video, usually a hundred is the max, but she doesn’t seem to care about the views, it’s more about the message.

He clicks to type a comment, but his hands stop above the keyboard as he tries to think of what to write. Mitch was right about taking a chance at reaching out, but what is he supposed to write exactly? Everything that comes to his mind sounds so creepy and scary, and he knows it’s weird that he formed such a deep connection to an unknown girl online. At last he starts typing.

“Hi Y/N! I’ve stumbled across your videos the other day. Love how you keep your brother updated, it’s such a nice gesture. I hope life treats you and Sammy well, you truly deserve it. Good luck with finding a buddy for Henry! Love, an admirer of yours, H.”

He reads it back several times, deleting then retyping it again until he decides to just go with it. A rush of adrenaline washes over his body when he sends the comment and it’s officially out there. Secretly he wishes she would reply right away, but moments pass by, then moments turn into minutes and nothing happens. His comment stands there alone and he has to realize that maybe she will never even reply or even see it.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself as he shuts the laptop down and goes on to do his things, but he finds his thoughts wander over to her from time to time.

He has a busy day ahead of him the next day, quite a few meetings and a fitting. He checks back for a reply in the morning, but it slips his mind the moment he leaves from home and his phone rings right away. Throughout the day he basically barely has time to check his emails, his other notifications are just sitting patiently on the bar, waiting for him to acknowledge them. It’s way past five in the afternoon when he finally have some time for himself after his fitting. He is sitting in his car, people walk past him without even realizing who is sitting behind the tinted windows. Scrolling down he gets rid of everything that doesn’t seem urgent until his eyes stop at one particular notification.

“Y/N replied to your comment,” he reads it out loud, just to make it real, as if he is seeing it wrong and saying it with his own mouth brings it to life. He quickly taps on it and the familiar video opens up and while Y/N starts talking again the screen jumps down to the comments where, in fact, there is a reply from her.

“Dear H! Thank you for your heartfelt comment! I always forget it’s not just my family who sees these videos, but I’m happy you found them interesting enough to watch a few of them.”

“A few?” Harry huffs to himself feeling a little ridiculous he has watched all of them.

“I hope I didn’t bore you too much. Thank you for the well wishes for me, my brother and Henry too. He is sending his love to you. Y/N xx”

The comment was posted three hours ago. The thought that she has acknowledged his existence with not only reading but also replying to his comment brings him extreme joy. He reads her words over and over again, looking for any clue that would give away that she found his comment weird, but it seems like she was more surprised and happy that someone else saw her video besides her brother. Harry starts to type his reply without hesitation.

“Bore me? You saved me from watching another “what’s in my bag” video the other day. It was a pleasant change. I love your plants, by the way. Your room always gives off the most relaxed vibes. It reminded me I should have more of them in my home. H”

Harry smiles to himself posting his comment, the fear of appearing like a stalker long gone from him, the interaction is making his inside blossom from joy. For his biggest surprise a reply appears just a few minutes away and Harry reads Y/N’s new lines with deep hunger.

“Those videos suck the life out of me every time! I might be having a problem with buying too many plants, but I can’t help myself. They truly bring peace to me just by looking at them. I’m glad you are planning on buying some more, you won’t regret it!”

Harry is dying to reply, but he doesn’t want to look too eager and needy, so he opts for just liking her comment to let her know he read it and agrees. He locks his phone and puts it aside with the widest smile on his face as he starts his car and leaves his parking spot.

Two weeks pass by. In those two weeks Y/N uploads two more videos, one about her time with her grandparents, for a change it was filmed at their home and they even said hello in it. Harry feels wholesome seeing her with her granny and grandpa, it’s clear she cares a lot about them. The other video is just a short one where she has met some of Sammy’s old high school friends and she had a check in from them, sending a sweet message to him through the video. Harry doesn’t doubt how much these little things mean to Sammy, even if he doesn’t get to see them right away. Seeing Y/N alone boosts his mood every time she uploads a new video, he can only imagine how they make Sammy feel.

He leaves comments on her videos without a second thought and she replies to all of them, a lot of the time almost immediately. These are the highlights of his days without exception. Knowing that she has anything to do with him just fascinates him and he is starting to realize what his fans feel towards him on a different level. Whenever he sees the notification that she has replied to what he wrote or that she uploaded a new video he flies right to her page to check it, no matter what he is doing. Some of their comment threads turn out pretty lengthy, almost like a chat conversation and it has Harry wonder how they could maybe move it to somewhere else from the comment section.

He wants to ask for her number, but figures it wouldn’t be the best idea. Regardless of how much he enjoys their short little conversations, the situation is still weird and complicated and he doesn’t want to forget that.

But he is pleasantly surprised when she brings it up herself, to move the conversation to somewhere else.

“Would love to discuss that more with you. Up for exchanging IG names?” her question reads and he blinks a few before he fully comprehends that she wants to talk to him more in private. However there’s no way he can send her his real Instagram profile and making a fake one would be way too suspicious. Opening up the private messages he sends her a short, but informative message.

“I don’t use Instagram, but feel free to text me,” and then his phone number.

He sits at the dinner table anxiously, waiting for his phone to light up from a new text, and just a few minutes later it finally comes.

“Hi! It’s Y/N,” he reads from the notification and he saves the number right away.

“Hello! Save me as Harry. I haven’t even told you my name yet, how rude of me!” he replies chuckling to himself.

“Will let it slip this time. Harry. What a nice name!”

“Is it what you thought about from the H?”

“It was one of my theories. The other one was Hayes, but Harry fits you better.”

“You haven’t even seen me, how do you know what name fits me?”

“I don’t know. You had a vibe. There are many great Harries in the world, you seemed to fit between them!”

Harry wonders if she is thinking about him without even knowing that… it is him. He wants to ask her, but decides not to. Instead, he is enjoying that he can now reach her immediately and not through a comment section. He never thought this would actually happen.

 The texts never stop. They have so much to talk about! Their entire life to share, millions of thoughts and so much to discuss! Harry is not proud of the time he has spent with his eyes glued to his phone, but he wouldn’t miss a chance to talk to her for anything. Their friends are not blind to the change in him, but Mitch is the only one with a guess about why he has gotten so addicted to his phone.

“Is it the girl from the videos?” he asks Harry one time when they are at the studio, having lunch break. Different food boxes are scattered around them, on the table and the couch. Harry’s phone just light up from a text and he immediately dropped his lunch to type a response.

He glances up at his friend with a shy smile nodding his head. He hasn’t talked about his newly funded friendship with Y/N yet, it feels like as if he tells it to anyone it might evaporate into just a dream.

“So you reached out, huh?”

“I did,” he nods returning to his food once his message is sent. “She’s great.”

“Does she know who she is talking to?” Harry’s lack of answer tells enough about the truth to Mitch. “You can’t hide forever, especially if you are planning on meeting her.”

“I know,” he answers shortly. “But I just don’t know how I could even bring it up to her without sounding like a mad man.”

“She’ll need proof.”

“M’not ready to show m’self to her. What if it changes everything?”

“Then it wasn’t worth it,” he simply tells him.

Deep down Harry knows it’s the truth, but he is not ready to be robbed from the joy she is bringing him. He has never felt such a deep connection to anyone before and they haven’t even met. It’s just a version of her he is seeing on the screen, not her real self. But it feels real to him and he wants to keep this reality to himself for just a little longer.

 “I wish I could hear your voice, Harry. You are one big mystery to me, you know that?”

He forgets to breathe for a moment as he reads her message, lying in bed one evening, getting ready to sleep, but he wanted to check in with her before ending the day.

“You know so much about me already,” he types back.

“Not enough, I feel like. Sometimes I’m afraid Nev and Max are about to show up at my door and tell me that I’ve been catfished.”

He chuckles at her words, though he completely understands her fear.

“What do you want from me then?”

“Send me a voice message so I know you are real. That would put my suspicion to sleep. For a while…”

Harry hesitates for a long time until he decides just one voice message couldn’t hurt. Just a short one where his voice is not that recognizable so his cover won’t be over immediately.

“Good night, Y/N,” he tells into his phone and then send the recording to her.

He watches the status change from delivered to read and a couple of minutes go by before she finally responds.

“Thank you. Now I know that you are real. I hope I’ll hear your voice in real life one day.”

“I hope that too.”

 His time spent undercover is coming to an end and he knows it’ll happen soon. It’s been weeks since they started chatting, almost an entire month and she’s been hinting her will to see his face and though he has been putting it off, he knows it has to happen.

Fate is playing under his hands, because he is traveling to Seattle for a few days, exactly when Y/N is traveling there to visit her parents.

“I hope you know you can’t leave without meeting finally,” she wrote when she found out they are going to be in the same city.

“It never even crossed my mind!” he wrote back chuckling to himself, however it brought him extreme anxiety that he is now going to be forced to come clean about who he really is.

He spends his whole flight to Seattle making up possible outcomes for their first official meeting. Not all of them end well and it’s just fueling his fear that he might lose her for not telling her the entire truth.

But she is a smart girl, she’ll see your reasoning, he tells himself, however he can’t entirely convince himself that it will be the case.

In hopes of squeezing in more than just one meeting into the weekend they agreed to meet almost first thing after he lands. So after checking into his hotel he heads into the city to finally meet her in real life in a local café she suggested for the occasion. Arriving to the place he is running a little late and she already texted him she’ll be waiting for him inside. Harry is wearing a beanie with shades to try to keep up his cover and it seems to be working, no one has approached him yet.

Stepping inside the cozy looking place his eyes roam around and immediately finds her sitting in the corner, pouring sugar into her coffee, not even paying attention to the door at the moment, but truth is she’s been intensely staring at it in the past ten minutes she has been there.

Harry takes a deep breath and nods to himself before heading in her way, hands shaking nervously as he stops at her table.

She glances up at him with innocent eyes, a smile spreads across her face as she sees that her mysterious Harry has arrived and she doesn’t recognize her until he finally takes his sunglasses off.

Harry watches her face turn from happiness to surprise then utter shock as she realizes who is standing in front of him.

“You are… my Harry?” she asks, confusion laced through her voice and Harry can’t ignore how she called him her Harry. He likes the ring of it.

“M’orry if it’s a little too much f’you, I really didn’t know how to tell ya.”

Keeping his eyes on her he pulls out the other chair at the table and takes a seat across her while she is still staring at him with a shocked and puzzled expression sitting on her face. Then she looks around in suspicion as he wiggles his coat off his arms, before her eyes settle on him once again.

“It’s not an episode of Catfish, right?” she asks making him chuckle.

“It is not, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry if I’m being weird, but this was literally the last thing I was expecting,” she admits leaning back in her seat. “I believed things like this only happen in movies.”

“Not just there,” he smiles, slowly relieving that she is still sitting there and hasn’t ran out. It’s going way better than he expected.

She needs a little time to put the whole picture together and befriend the thought that she indeed just developed a friendship with Harry Styles through her videos for her brother. The absurdity is still shocking to her, but the more time passes by with him still sitting there, the more she finds peace with it.

Once the shock and surprise is gone they slowly realize they are seeing each other in real life finally. Harry feels overwhelmed, she is even more breathtaking than in her videos and through texts. He is mesmerized by her whole being and could listen to her talk in person forever, he wouldn’t get bored of her.

Time stops existing as they sit at the little café, talking for hours even though that’s all they’ve been doing through texts, but they just can’t get enough of hearing each other, seeing each other’s reaction and be able to see each other and not stare at a screen while talking.

Unfortunately, time never stopped just for the two of them and soon she realizes she needs to head back home. Harry doesn’t want to let go of her just yet so he offers to give her a ride, thanking himself for getting a rental for himself upon arriving. Y/N accepts the offer so the two of them head back to her parents’ home, soaking up the last minutes of their precious time spent together.

“Thank you for today, I really loved meeting you finally,” she smiles at him once they are parked on the driveway.

“I hope I didn’t shock you too much,” he chuckles scratching his chin.

“Just a little,” she admits before they both get out of the car and walking around it she stops in front of him, after a moment of hesitation she opts for a hug that he returns more than happily.

It feels as if her frame was perfectly sculpted to fit in his embrace and Harry can’t imagine how he could go this long without even seeing her in person. He knows it’s gonna be utter misery to be away from her after they leave the city.

“Will I see you before you take off?” she asks letting go of him. Harry looks down at her, the urge to kiss her growing bigger with each passing moment, but he is not sure if it would be appropriate to give it a try on their first time meeting.

“I’m free tomorrow for a lunch,” he tells her and she nods smiling.

“Then I’m free too,” she chuckles.

There’s an awkward moment where they are not sure what else should be done or said and the more they wait the weirder it’s getting so Harry clears his throat as he takes a step back, sad that he has to leave without feeling her lips on his, but he is not trying to be too greedy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he smiles walking back to his car. Y/N waves after him and sitting back to behind the wheel he takes a moment to himself to collect himself after everything that has happened today. His hands curl around the wheel and he is about to start the car when someone knocks on the window. Y/N is smiling at him through the glass and he rolls it down curiously.

“I just…” she starts hesitantly, her eyes wander down to his lips and Harry knows what’s about to happen, but it still catches him by surprise.

Y/N leans in through the window and presses her lips to Harry’s, capturing them in a sweet, long awaited first kiss they both have been dreaming of for quite a while. Harry smiles into the kiss, bringing his right hand up to cup her cheeks as they stretch the moment for as long as possible. Whenever one pulls back the other brings them back for just one more kiss that turns into two more, then three… It takes a long time for them to finally let go of each other.

“See you later, H,” she smiles backing out of the car and running up to the front door, smiling wildly as she waves in his way one last time before disappearing in the house.

 Lying in bed that evening Harry is scrolling through his Instagram feed when he finally realizes he can now follow her without a worry. He is quick to find her profile again and hit that follow button. He is happy to see she was already following him.

He is just about to put his phone aside and go to bed after such a busy but exciting day when a notification pops up on the screen.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video!

He taps on it quickly and her smiling face greets him from his phone’s screen.

“Hi Sammy! It’s me again. Welcome back to our channel,” she starts with a shy smile. The setting is new this time, he supposes it’s her parents’ home this time. “This is going to be a short video, but I wanted to tell you about something. Or someone.”

Harry’s heart skips a beat when he thinks about where it’s heading. He listens to her voice holding his breath.

“I met someone today. We’ve been talking for a while, but I could finally hug him today. His name is Harry, and he is a wonderful man. I think you two would get along well,” she says with a soft chuckle. “I love spending time with him and I hope he feels the same way. Actually…” Her eyes move up straight to the camera, something she doesn’t do often. She usually stares out the window or plays with Henry while talking. “I think he is watching it right now. Hi Harry!”

“Hello, Beautiful,” he greets her back with a smile as if she could hear him.

“I wanted to tell you how amazing you are making me feel. I hope I didn’t disappoint. I was so nervous to meet you today, I hope I lived up to what you imagined me to be.”

“You were so much better than that,” he answers again.

“Anyway… I hope you feel the same way. You are the first guy I’m talking about in an update, so appreciate it!” she tells him and he chuckles lightly. “I’ll see you soon, H. But until then… Know that I’m thinking about you.”

“M’thinking about you too, Angel.”

“Sammy, I miss you as always. I hope everything is well, can’t wait for your next email. I love you,” she smiles before the video ends.

Harry heads straight to the comments. This time he doesn’t leave a lengthy one, just a short line, but it has everything he wanted to tell her.

“I feel the same way.” The comment reads. Just a few seconds later comes the notification and he smiles sweetly at his phone.

Y/N liked the comment.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry #styles #one direction #harry styles fanfictions

[clairenatural]

Shy Nerd | Dean

Punk | Castiel

[ the world needs more of this]

college au! this ran away from me and ended up 2.2k whoops :’) i hope you like it! (also note i have no idea how motors work i am not an engineer)

There’s an open textbook on his bed, but Dean is ignoring it; instead, he’s scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. He doesn’t really understand Instagram, but Charlie had looked so shocked and dismayed when she found out he didn’t have one that he’d given in. He doesn’t post much—doesn’t have much to post, really, besides his car and LARPing with Charlie—but it sure is a good distraction from his physics work. He sighs and flops down on his back as he taps through stories. It’s a Friday night, so there’s all the usual parties, and clubbing videos, and group dinner shots. He frowns as he taps through Charlie’s story of a few of their friends playing D&D—he’d be there, too, if it weren’t for his exam. His physics final, on Monday, that he should be studying for. Instead of being on Instagram.

Dean is about to close the app and begrudgingly turn his attention back to his notes when he clicks onto one last story.

HELP NEEDED ASAP, it says, white against a black background, in all caps. Someone who is good at engineering. Or building. Or even just welding things. I’ll pay you, it continues, and then in pizza and beer. Please, in smaller font, directly below.

Dean pauses. He likes beer. And pizza. And building things. He could help out this—who posted this, anyway? It’s a name he doesn’t recognize. casanova.k. He taps on the profile picture. His eyes go wide.

Oh.

That guy. That guy from the hipster art party Charlie had dragged him to earlier in the semester, when she was still dating that art girl, and he’d ended up in a dark room thick with smoke, blurry with alcohol, talking to a guy about three levels of cool higher than him about…something he can’t remember. He just remembers hastily exchanging Instagrams as Charlie dragged him out of the party, ranting about her soon-to-be-ex.

And now he needs help.

Dean looks at his textbook. He looks back at the guy’s—Cas?—Instagram. He takes a deep breath and pulls up a message.

i like beer, pizza, and welding things

It’s smoother than usual, and Dean is proud of himself for about 2 seconds before he panics and ruins it: i’m an engineer, i mean. not just a rando with a thing for power tools, haha.

There’s an achingly long pause before Cas likes both messages.

This is how Dean Winchester ends up standing in the University’s metalwork studio, with 24 hours left until his final exam, staring at a multi-eyed, multi-winged, metal…thing.

It’s due next week, Cas had said. I know it’s last minute. The only studio space I could get was Sunday.

And Dean had said yes, like a fool, because he can never say no to boys in eyeliner with pretty eyes.

Now, staring up at the sculpture, Dean lets out a low whistle. Cas, next to him, groans and drags one hand down his face. “I know. It’s—this is why I need help, alright? I think I can still salvage it if I just—”

Dean, who has taken a few steps forward to admire the intricacies, looks up sharply. “What?”

Cas frowns back. “What?”

Dean shakes his head. “No, I mean—I’m not an art guy, but this metalwork is great, man.” He traces one of the welded seams. “You, uh. Obviously have good hands,” he continues, and then winces. Great compliment.

There’s a soft huff and Dean looks up to see Cas watching him, bemused. “My good hands,” he emphasizes it, and part of Dean wishes he could melt like solder. “Make me a good artist. They do not make me good at making things move.”

Dean blinks at him. “Excuse me?” Move?

Cas frowns again, but it’s more out of worry than confusion. His arms are crossed, and Dean tries very hard not to focus on the black ink swirling down his forearm. “I sent you the plans yesterday.” Now he’s chewing on his lip ring, too, and Dean rips his attention back to the steel structure to stop himself from focusing on that, either. He tries to think about these plans. He remembers getting the text, opening them……and immediately disregarding them in lieu of getting as much studying done as possible. Internally, he groans.

Externally, he nods, pretends to know exactly what these “plans” are. “Sure, yeah,” he covers, and hopes it’s convincing.

The metal…thing, because Dean still isn’t sure exactly what it is, has a cluster of wings in the middle—6, to be exact, and they’re poking up around 3 large rings. He reaches out for one of the rings, right between two of its welded eyes, and gives it an experimental push. It creaks, and sways, and Dean winces when he hears Cas suck in a breath behind him. “Sorry”, he mutters, but when he turns back around Cas is frowning at the art piece and not at him.

Dean is expecting to hear either it’s alright or, more likely, never touch my art again, but Cas just hums and steps up until he’s standing next to Dean. “What do you think this is?”

It’s the closest they’ve been since he arrived, and Dean takes a moment to observe the other student from this distance. He’s wearing black boots, black jeans. A t-shirt with a band on it that Dean has never heard of. His nails are black but the rings he’s wearing are silver, and so is the cross hanging around his neck. His hair looks like he either spent an hour on it or no time at all, and his eyes—like at that party, the one neither of them has mentioned yet—are rimmed in black. Dean, in his sneakers and second-hand jeans and faded Batman shirt, has never felt less cool.

“It’s an angel,” Cas continues, and Dean isn’t sure if he’s given up on waiting for a response or if he’d never expected one in the first place. “A biblical one. You know, the ‘be not afraid,’ kind.” He lowers his voice for the angel impression, which Dean didn’t think was possible. He doesn’t know what to do with the realization that it is.

“Don’t think this is what my mom meant when she used to say angels were watching over me,” Dean tries for a joke, and it’s half-hearted, but to his relief Cas chuckles anyway.

“Yes, well. The church preaches them as significantly more…cuddly.” Cas frowns. “It makes praying to them easier to sell.”

The cross around his neck is starting to get confusing.

“And these—these are gonna move,” Dean hazards a guess, reaching out to touch one of the rings again. “All of them?”

“They’re electrons,” Cas nods, which Dean supposes is an answer. “They should all circle the wings together, like the classic atom diagram. But I can’t—” Cas reaches out for the ring this time, hand landing directly above Dean’s. He pushes it, and it sways. Obviously frustrated, he pulls back. “I need it to be motorized, to look right. And I have the motor but don’t know how…to do it.”

And, well. That, Dean understands. He smiles and, in a burst of confidence, claps Cas on the shoulder. Cas looks up at him, startled, but his expression morphs into a soft smile at the look on Dean’s face.

“Let’s get her moving, then.”

He tries not to think about the time slipping away as Cas hauls out the motor, or when he hands Dean tools. He does not stare too long at Cas’ biceps when he’s screwing something in, or when they have to do last-minute welding. They get it hooked up, and it whirs to life, and Dean does not think about how late it is when Cas gives him a hug in his excitement, or when he promises to follow up on his beer and pizza promise at his apartment.

It’s there, back in Cas’ apartment, sitting on his living room floor, both a beer or two in, when Cas finally mentions it.

“You’re the one who gave me that idea, you know.”

Dean stops mid-chew and blinks at him. “Whg—” he swallows his bite of pizza and tries again. “What?”

Cas shrugs and doesn’t make eye contact. He picks at the beer label. “At the party we met at. The one we aren’t talking about, for some reason.”

Dean wants Cas’ ugly, blue, cigarette-smelling shag carpet to swallow him whole.

“You told me you don’t ‘get’ art,” he sets the beer bottle down to do air quotes, and Dean’s shame deepens. “Because you only ‘get’ science. And I told you they were the same thing. And you told me to prove it.”

Suddenly, it clicks, and Dean risks making eye contact. Cas catches his gaze and holds it steady, and he’s calm—not upset, Dean registers, which is a relief. “The atom,” he blurts out, and Cas grins. “Yeah.”

“Art and science.”

“Yeah.”

Dean is sitting up straighter now. “But, the angel—”

Cas sighs and pushes himself up from where he’d been leaning against the couch. He turns until he’s fully facing Dean. “Divinity,” he raises one hand, “and the core building blocks of humanity,” he raises the other. “Art,” he gestures with the first hand, “and science.” With the second.

Dean stares at him. “Are you calling art divine?”

“Art is an expression of divinity,” Cas shrugs. “Science is an explanation for it. But it’s—you know. The same thing.”

Dean wonders how he can say that so casually, so nonchalantly. He wonders what would happen if he crossed the pizza-box distance and kissed him.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts instead, and Cas raises his eyebrows. “The party, I didn’t think—I didn’t think you remembered.”

“I assumed you didn’t,” Cas counters. “But you did. You do. Why didn’t you text me?”

It’s exactly what he expected to hear and it still catches him off guard. “Um—” Dean stammers, trying to think of a good excuse. Cas is just watching him—not staring at, watching—brows furrowed.

With a heavy sigh, Dean settles on the truth. “Come on, man. Look at me,” he scoffs and stares down at his jeans, the already worn knees even worse after the day spent kneeling on concrete. “I’m an engineering dork who plays D&D on Fridays and you’re—” he waves vaguely in Cas’ direction. “You know.”

The frown has deepened. “I don’t.”

“Cool.” It sounds so juvenile to say it out loud.

Now, Cas looks taken aback. “Dean. We met at a party where I voluntarily listened to you talk about string theory for an hour and a half.”

Dean doesn’t know if that’s a compliment or not. He buries any possible blush with a swig of beer. “String theory’s cool,” he grumbles into the bottle.

“Yes.” Cas agrees. “And so are you. Although—” he pauses and tilts his head. “I could have sworn you were in physics, based on how much you talk—”

Dean is so caught up in Cas Novak calling him cool that it takes his brain a second to process the word “physics,” but when he does he nearly spits beer all over the ugly carpet. “Shit,” he swears, already starting to scramble up.

“What?” Cas is following him, frowning.

“Physics final. In—” he checks his watch, “—16 hours. I gotta—” he still has time to water down the beer, study, and get at least 7 hours of sleep before—

“…Why did you just spend all day helping me if you have a final tomorrow?” Dean pauses from where he’s trying to find his other shoe to glance back at Cas, who looks so genuinely baffled it shoots a warmness into Dean’s heart.

“You needed help,” Dean shrugs, finally locating the missing sneaker and pulling it on. “Good luck with the angel, though, okay? If it gives you any running issues, feel free to—”

He’s pulling on his jacket when he feels a touch on his arm and realizes that, sometime in the past 20 seconds, Cas has crossed the room to him. “Dean,”

Dean pauses, and Cas…looks nervous.

“I like D&D,” he offers, and Dean stares at him.

“What.”

Cas levels his gaze. “There is nothing more punk than dragons,” he replies, incredibly seriously.

Dean’s brain short-circuits.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline from the exam panic, maybe it’s the 1.5 beers, maybe it’s Cas’ hand still warm on his arm, maybe he’s still caught up in Cas calling him cool and maybe his brain takes an extra second to load his self-consciousness on its reboot, but—he leans down and kisses him.

Cas makes a small noise but kisses him back almost immediately—but then he’s pulling back nearly as quickly, and he gently pushes Dean back by the shoulders when he tries to follow. Not far enough away to be a rejection, just…enough. “You have an exam in the morning,” he says this like an apology, and the warmth in Dean’s chest grows. “Text me after?”

Dean nods, then pauses, realizes what Cas just said, and nods again. “Yeah, I—yeah, I will.”

“There’s not enough alcohol here for you to pretend to forget this time,” he teases, but he’s smiling.

Dean flushes anyway. “I’m sorry.”

Cas shakes his head and pushes him a bit. “Apologize tomorrow. Go.”

“Okay.” Dean doesn’t move.

“Okay,” Cas replies.

“Okay,” Dean says, and leans down to kiss him again, a quick one, because he thinks maybe he can.

“Okay,” Cas repeats, but his tone is fond. “Go.”

“Okay,” Dean repeats back. But this time, he does.

The next day, after he aces his physics final, he doesn’t pretend to forget.

#destiel #deancas #punk!cas #nerd!dean #i didnt know how to end this lmao sorry!!!! #(also ik this isn't quite as punk as the typical punk!cas im sorry sadhakdsh) #but wow i love these two now #this took me back its been a WHILE since i read/wrote some good punk/nerd #thank u anon #they live in my brain now #my words #follower fics #alcohol mention

[koelnhbf]

bump into you (knj)

part twelve: you broke the child

genre: fluff!

warnings: nothing we just really, really love namjoon in this house. this is going to be a long one 

“Thanks for the pictures,” you told Namjoon as he handed you back your phone. You looked at your pink cheeks, unsure whether the colouring was caused by the new blush you tried out or because of your date’s devoted picture taking. Although he had told you he’d come pick you up at 7, he had texted you that morning that he’d come pick you up right after classes, so you could be ready by then.

“No problem at all, Yn,” he said and, by the way laughter lines formed around his eyes, you knew he was smiling beneath the mask. 

“Do you want me to take one of you, too?” You asked, switching over to your phone’s camera app, ready to snap a few shots of the guy who just bought you a pre-dinner drink. 

“Not yet, there’s a nice spot I’d like to take you to before we have dinner. Let’s go?” You nodded and settled down on your bike, thankful that the sky had decided to stop snowing that day. One-handed (so you could hold the drink he got you) you rode beside Namjoon through the streets of Seoul and to a park with a hill, where, the moment the two of you arrived, you secured the bikes and made your view to the panoramic view. 

“This is really nice,” you sighed, astonished, taking in the view in front of you. Skyscraper upon Skyscraper blended into a grey array of buildings and contrasted against the warm tones of the greenery beneath you. Namjoon leaned against the wooden railing after taking off his mask and sighed.

“It’s one of my favourite places to come to,” he said and looked down at you. “I come here to think, read, relax, listen to music… it’s one of the best places in the whole city.” 

“And you’re sharing it with me?” You blushed when he looked at you intensely, his eyes being the most beautiful pair you’ve ever seen.

“I’d like to take you here more often.”

“Are you hungry yet?” Namjoon asked as the two of you started walking back to your bikes. You had spent the last two hours on the hill, talking about his job and your masters degree, with the occasional anecdotes about both of your friends.

You nodded, having felt your stomach rumble for some time now but not having had the heart to interrupt Namjoon’s rant about mint chocolate ice cream. 

“We better get going, then.” The ride to the restaurant was partially spent laughing at his jokes and talking about books, whenever the two of you were silent, you thought about how easy it was to speak to him, forgetting several times that it wasn’t just Namu you were speaking to but Kim Namjoon, as the regular phone calls reminded you. 

“I’m sorry, it’s work,” he had said the first time they had called and you had kindly offered to step back from where you were sitting so he could talk freely but he declined. The call hadn’t lasted long anyway and you had only understood half of what was said. By the time the fourth call had rolled in you were chasing squirrels around the park, not really minding his absence but rather buying some nuts off an old woman and offering them to two children that had wanted to play with the animals.

The thought of the kids aggressively throwing the nuts at the squirrels had you laughing when you arrived at the restaurant. While Namjoon followed the waiter to your table you checked out the portions of the dishes of the neighbouring tables and made a silent note to get ramen from the convenience store when you got back home because you were sure that you wouldn’t get full from whatever they served.

“Don’t worry about the dishes, I just wanted us to get something savoury before we go for churros later,” Namjoon whispered in your ear as he noticed you staring at the food. A shiver ran down your spine at his voice close to you and you prayed to whatever deity was listening that he hadn’t noticed. 

“Ch-churros?” You asked, rather dumbly, as if it was too hard to understand.

“An ice skating date isn’t complete without churros and hot cocoa, Yn.” He laughed and guided you to your seat before sitting down in front of you. 

“Choose whatever you’d like.”

“Slowly Yn!” Namjoon called out but it was too late, you ended up falling on your butt again before he could catch you. 

“Are you hurt?” You shook your head and laughed, grateful that he had told you to pack an extra pair of clothes before you left your house in the afternoon. He pulled you up and balanced you before pulling you with him.

“Just try to slide with your feet. Don’t pretend to run. And hold onto me.” His dimples showed as he smiled at you and the clenching sensation around your stomach showed itself for the thousandth time that day. 

“Good job, see? You can do it. I’m going to let you go now, okay? In 3, 2,” without finishing the countdown he let you go, which was a big mistake because you were still unprepared and fell again, pulling him down with you. 

“Ouch!” You cried out before noticing the weight on you. You held your breath as you looked into Namjoon’s eyes, the same you had only been able to admire from afar until now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your breath visible in the cold air.

“It’s okay, Yn,” he said, his voice strangely low but still loud enough for you to hear, as if he was right next to your ear.

Then the two of you stayed silent, merely stared at each other without moving once. And, as if pulled by an invisible thread, your lips clashed, reunited in a short but sweet kiss, but as quick as it happened it also ended and you were quickly on your feet again, being pulled by Namjoon’s strong arms around the rink. 

“It’s really okay if I post this?” You asked for the third time as you flicked through the pictures, finding a picture of Namjoon ice skating that you took while you were resting. You laughed at it as you went back to the one you were talking about.

“You can’t see my face so sure, Yn-ie.” You smiled warmly as you saved it in your favourites.

You were leaning against your bikes in front of your apartment complex, Namjoon’s face being covered again, in case you walked past other people. 

“It’s a shame I can’t follow you with my main account. The kpop drama accounts would have a field trip.” He sighed and looked up at the cloudy night sky. 

“It’s okay, Joonie.”

“Joonie?”

“Well, I can’t keep on calling you tree!” You called out and laughed as realisation struck him.

“I need to go now, thanks for today. I loved it,” you spoke, though your voice came out as silent as a whisper as you remembered your kiss. 

“Me too, Yn.” You turned around to walk towards your door but got pulled back by his strong grasp around your wrist. With a swift motion, he pulled down his mask and lifted your chin so your mouth could meet his. Contrary to your first kiss, this one was longer and deeper, carrying a longing for each other you couldn’t quite understand. It was only when you noticed something cold falling onto your forehead that you parted. 

“Better get in, Yn, it just started snowing.” He smiled, pulled the mask up again and waited for you to make your way into the building, though it took all of your willpower for you to not stay with him.

— as a high-achieving student from a poor background at SNU, your life has been all about studies. apart from your three friends, your time was divided between your dissertation and the independent bookshop you worked at after class. looking forward to buying the most sought-after book you desperately need for your thesis you notice the only way to keep it is to stash away a copy. what happens when your bookshop is a stranger’s last resort of buying the book? and what if your copy was the last one in all of seoul?

A/N hello my lovelies! i hope you’re enjoying it so far, let me know under the posts and in my inbox. you can also private message me anytime! <3 if you want to be added to the taglist you can ask under each post and i’ll make sure to add you! i’m really always up for a chat, so you can hit me up :) x

⟸ m.list ⟹

taglist: @aquaalanah @cuddlemety​ @detectivejjkie​ @lettersfromsalome @poutyoongiiii @secretlycrazyhummingbird

#bts #bts au #bts rm #bts rm au #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts fanfic #namjoon #namjoon au #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon sm au #namjoon smau #namjoon fanfic #seokjin #seokjin au #seokjin x reader #yoongi #yoongi au #yoongi x reader #hoseok #hoseok au #hoseok x reader #jimin au #jimin #jimin x reader #taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung x reader #jungkook

[life-rewritten]

STARTUP - Dosan and Fate (Luck vs Hard Work)

Important to note: The title of episode 9 and 10 was Risk (the possibility of loss) and Demo day (an event where people show their achievements)

Let me first say that these two episodes hurt a lot, for both guys, in Risk we had both revelations of how both men felt like they were played by Fate/Luck.  Dosan feels broken by the upcoming consequences from the moments he's felt like a fraud in this game of life, where he was prone to win easily because of always using deceit. His impostor syndrome ate him up inside and made him feel like a lesser person for Dalmi and others. Meanwhile, Jipyeong also felt like a tool that was thrown around by Fate to bring the two together despite his feelings and wants and efforts for Dalmi. Fate seems cruel; it leads Dosan to underserved fake moments, its the wind that becomes a storm Whilst, other people would relish in their luck, Dosan goes to self-hate and self-doubt about what is his work vs what is others. Hence the next title, with demo day which is just putting on a show of your achievements, the sad thing is that Dosan felt like he had no achievements that were really his thus he put on a show using others reputation, identity and memory and so lost himself in the process. Let’s analyse this two episodes  and these twos fate further:

DOSAN AND FATE

Thing is its weird because Dosan by Fate has been chosen as the namesake for each of these moments without actually wanting or meaning to be part of them. He's been intended and pushed to follow along, so he gets to his purpose/destiny. He's given one answer in a test paper, the answer not the solution, and he's the real recipient of Dalmis first letter because of the results of that test. 

If Dosan were like me, he'd notice Fate was playing a massive role for him and Dalmi to find each other. Like the wind that he was scared of being a storm, it wasn't for that; it was to push him to his destination. Because of the wind blowing in, he managed to get that one answer right which led to his 10/10 (it sparked the solution in his head) but because of that he also won the gold medal award, and he took a picture as the golden olympiad, but then he returned the medal.

But the medal wasn't the point, what Fate wanted from him was already done; the picture, it was a series of occurrence where Jipyeong was watching on tv on his way to the grandmother, where he would be found on the newspaper and ultimately become Dalmi's namesake of the letter of her ideal guy. Fate positioned him perfectly as Dalmi's soulmate but also because Dosan is a good person and he doesn't like to be deceitful he returned back the medal with guilt and even though he should have let it go. He held onto this resentment and failed to notice all his other hard works.  So this brings us to the question before I continue; Is Dosan really just lucky, has he not done anything worth praising by himself, is he really a nobody the way he perceives he is? Is it all Fate?

Obviously No. The episodes so far in this show have shown time and time again how good Dosan is at everything he puts his mind to. He's diligent, focused, and always trying to do something to help others. All of his works so far have been because of his creation, not Fate, not Luck, and certainly not others like he keeps saying. He may be pushed into an idea by listening to others. Still, just like that one answer provided him with the solution on the test paper, he is the one who figures out how to put two and two together, and he ends up creating something appealing, useful and needed.

Which is funny because it's like his actual person, he may not see himself like that to people, but to his friends, his family and Dalmi he is;

APPEALING

He's good looking without to having to try; people flock to him, yes they're turned off by his logical way of thinking and his socially awkward mannerisms, but Dalmi knows he's attractive and as she said opening the music box was wonderful. He's a beautiful presence in her life; he brought hope, happiness and joy to her by just showing up. The thing that makes this even more hidden for him is only because he thinks he's inadequate because of his lack of wealth, lack of possessions, and lack of style. He even says to Dalmi (because Jipyeong convinced him that the way he dresses is not right) that's who he is, and tbh what he was wearing wasn't bad it suited him more than the suit.

But the other thing is that there's potential screaming at Dosan because soon we'll get to see him reach that person Fate is trying to mould him into which is the very vision of the guy Dalmi thought her Nam Do San was. So all the things he thinks prevent him from been seen as appealing he'll quickly get it once he starts to work for Alex. Fate has again already sent him the next step for his journey to being the ideal guy for Dalmi. Fate is on Dosans side not against it. But I also want to mention that as much as Fate is involved in making Dosan look appealing to Dalmi it's still Dosans choice, and actions that actually makes him appealing to Dalmi: its because he chose to go to her and show up for her during that time she felt lost, its because he spent that evening with her making her laugh and also it's because of those quirky mannerisms that he thought turned people of him that she likes him (when she's drunk in episode 9 she smiles and says when he goes into a rant about the science vs superstition that that's him, that's Dosan, and she is happy about it because he makes her smile by being himself.  

USEFUL 

But we continue to see how Dosan is important despite thinking he's not. He's useful, and everyone knows it and has used him somehow. To his friends; He's useful because he provided them a job, he gave them a new dream when it seemed that everything was crashing, he pushes them to learn and be better with their computer skills and  he offered them solutions to their problems when they lost their jobs, he's the person who solved the hacking, prevented them from losing money or getting sued and he's the person who gave them a new place to call theirs. He elevated them to his partners. We can argue he's not useful to his family yet, because he's had to rely on them for his start up, he hasn't been able to offer them money, or things like that, however. But he will, and we know he will once Samsan Tech is successful. Dalmi : I mean I can write essays about how useful he's been to her but I'll just be repeating the same stuff over and over again, he's useful to her because he provided her another job by choosing her as the CEO, he also is the reason for why she chooses to chase her dreams and gave up on her other previous work, he helped her be promoted without even knowing it, he's the keyman; he's the most useful to Samsan Tech, his hard work is also useful to her: he improves and stays up all night with her to create a better version of their app to detect Injae's new hand writing, he's useful to her because of how he, teaches her, she understands him and it leads her to finding solutions and answers to what she wants, he's useful because he helps her gain her confidence. In the end of the day he's like a solution to her problems but also he's  useful to her grandmother because he made Noongil.

This is where Fate isn't playing an active role because Dosan is always useful, you can say that Fate plays a role with his family, Jipyeong, his nephew, Alex because they provide opportunities that make Dosan even more helpful to the world, Dalmi and her grandmum (the nephews marketing skills brings Alex to him, brings Noongil fame and success, brings 2STO to Samsan Tech, ( helping his friends and Dalmi). His family's kindness helped him to start his company with his friends which will later be useful to Dalmi because she becomes CEO and starts her dreams. Jipyeong is also part of this, because he's the person who actively berates and puts down Dosan but pushes him to prove himself and thus he becomes more useful but Dosan is also helpful to Jipyeong ironically: he's valuable because he manages to find a way to improve Yeongsil and provides use to Youngsil for Jipyeong in a way he hasn't realised yet with Dalmis grandmother, in an ironic way he helps Jipyeong pay his debt to the grandmother because its Jipyeong who brought Dosan to their lives and because of Dosan the grandmother's issue blindness is less of an obstacle.

So Fate uses people, sends people to help Dosan improves his usefulness but Dosan's heart, actions, and hands automatically make him useful. This is why the show keeps on mentioning his hands, they may be empty but they're helpful because of what they can do, what they can create, what they can hold onto. Dosans brains, hands, and just character are what made him already useful.

But here's even more proof how useful his own actions are:

CODA: Samsan tech win CODA competition not by luck but with their hardwork, the reason why Alex is so stunned by CODA is because he created something that was far more needed/better than the others. It had a higher rate of optics and it was seen as something that was incredible.

Noongil: Because he's spurred on to find a way to repay grandmother for introducing the whole letters thing that led him to Dalmi, he finds a way to create something incredibly useful to the world, and also to her, but also Noongil becomes the most successful app not because of money, but because its the most used by people.  Again this was Dosan's idea, hard work and plans.

9/10 on the test. I still think its 10/10 because one line wouldn't have been able to provide him the solution for the question but it inspired him to seek the solution. Even without that answer Dosan is still a genius, he's younger and smarter he was able to solve 9 questions out of 10 on that paper. He was still smart, he was still Dosan.

The company hacking issue of Chulsan: He's the one who finds a way into the system where no one else could do so, he fixes the issue and moves on like it isn't an incredible feat. Even Chulsan knows no one else could do that

Handwriting forgery detecting software: He spends the night with Dalmi as others slept working and creating this product, he even after they lose the competition stays up all night to solve the last issues, he makes it become 100% accurate.

See its his own brains not Fate that creates the apps/softwares/opportunities for him to be of use/ to be a genius.

NEEDED

There's a difference with usefulness and being needed. The last thing Dosan feels he's not. But the thing is again Fate plays a role here: 

Fate provides situations for where Dosan is needed. Fate is the reason for why he saw Dalmi's grandmother in the clinic; to create Noongil.

Fate is the reason for why his name is the namesake of the letter when Grandmother and Jipyeong needed a namesake (they needed him to help Dalmi get out of her depression, without realising it they needed him: he was the right age, the kind of person she'd like and also there was proof of him in the news paper (a picture was needed at that moment).

Fate is the reason for why Dalmi needed him to show up. He ended up needing to sell his baseball. Fate made his company break down so he was forced to sell those items; it led him to being Dalmi's reliable source. Fate pushed him as the answer for Dalmi when she needed a solution on how to get investors.

Fate made him create Samsan tech when his friends needed a new job, Fate created him as a partner for Dalmi when she needed to be a CEO and stay in the Sandbox, and in this episode Fate again pushes him to tell Dalmi what she needs to hear, so she's more confident.

Also Fate gives him a different solution where he is needed for the success of Samsan Tech if 2STO invests in the company.

There's so much more times in this show where Dosan is needed because Fate/Life has played a role where someone needs something from him, he's been required because of his brains, his physical looks, his hands, his creativity, his support, and his presence/actions. Fate plays the role here, but again it's Dosans automatic hard work, character and choices that make him needed. Before he even knew it, Dosan has always been needed by people, he's essential, he's not a nobody who is a fake impostor, he's the real deal, the final solution to people.  Dosans hands are the most needed. Again Dosan is a metaphor for his hands, they seem empty, but they're necessary and useful and vital.

#start up #tvn start up #start up kdrama #start-up #startup #kdrama #kdrama net #nam do san #seo dal mi #han ji pyeong #november #cwg #nam joo hyuk #bae suzy

[gogysastrologer]

i found this old rant of mine back in early october. this was before i was even lurking on lktwt i think. i remember one night on tumblr there was a blog talking about dnf but like, more deeply and realistically unlike others that i’ve seen, and i decided to pop in their inbox and talk about it (on anon of course), in a really long rant. the person replied, and said i should post it on my own account. i think they deleted the post because i cant find it now. but.. i guess i copied and pasted it on my notes app, and now after two months i read it back again. i think it honestly still holds true to what i think now. i want to share that rant with you guys! the rant will be under the cut, if you want to read it! :)

RANT FROM EARLY OCTOBER:

“If we look at this from a really realistic stance. You are possibly right! Maybe George doesn't feel uncomfortable with this... for now. This is just my personal theory. And I think it's an interesting one. I feel like, once (IF) he gets into some serious relationship, with someone other than Dream, he will wanna stop or at least SLOW DOWN the DNF hype. But could be possibly afraid to because of how big DNF has gotten. He's 24 going into 25 just next month! We can't just sit here and pretend that there isn't a possibility of him being in some committed relationship in the future.

I am a person who thinks about the future quite a bit. It wouldn't surprise me, if right now George possibly thinks, "Oh no, this is nothing/this won't effect me mentally in the future!" But then it starts to. I mean, we've seen ships going too far, so many times. There are literally so many examples of how over excessive shipping, can really hurt a person in the long run.

I say all of this, with massive care for George. He keeps a lot to himself, and I respect him out of everyone in the DSMP the most on how he handles his fame and controversies the most. But it wouldn't surprise me as well, if there is a small part of him, that doesn't really like the over excessiveness, even now. I mean, DNF interactions, compared to really early ones (2020 specifically) have changed so much in my opinion. It seems that Dream or his friends are the ones that start off the DNF moment now, with George following along sometimes. And even then the recent DNF moments are quite small compared to how they once were. They seemed more, in your face, about it, back then? And George seemed to play along with it way more then now? Maybe it's just me, I mean I haven't watched like every stream with them, so I could be wrong there.

I think this conversation is really interesting, and the more I think about it, the more kind of eye opening it is. I've always been real interested in George as a person honestly. Studying how he reacts to things, some patterns I've seen when someone mentions DNF (Like I SWEAR TO GOD I remember on a CS:GO stream in July with Sapnap, someone donated to him with "DNF" in their user and he very clearly purposely didn't read the name that time, but he read every other ones? Then again, that could've been him trying to prevent DNF spam in his chat...) It just seems he tries to downplay it now compared to before, at least on camera. 

I'm sure he probably goes ham with DNF behind the scenes, or just his friends in general ("You can suck on my chicken bone" ring a bell?). But I wonder... is it because it's gotten too much for him a bit now? With the audience? Thing is we can never really know, given how much secretive this man is. But I think it's at least an interesting thing to think about. Y'know? And I know this had a lack of Dream mention, but that's because I genuinely don't sense that Dream minds DNF at all, we all know he panders to DNF like no tomorrow. Plus Dream seems more open about his feelings rather than George and that's why I'm focusing on him in here. 

I sense George is a type of person where even if he had an issue with something (regarding friends, or people he's close with) he wouldn't speak up about it, and try to disregard it. To keep the peace, y'know? I know this is kinda deep but I sense it. AND ONCE AGAIN I COULD BE WRONG HERE COMPLETELY WRONG IN FACT! TAKE OF THIS ALL WITH SUCH BIG LAYERS OF SALT! I DONT KNOW GEORGE NOR AM I CLAIMING TO KNOW HIM THIS IS JUST WHAT I'VE SENSED FROM STUDYING HIM! He's just so interesting to me. 

OK rant over. I am so sorry this is so fucking long, but I hope you can sense where I am coming from! Excited to hear from you soon! - anon”

#this was super intresting reading back #even then i knew something was up 😩 #the person who replied i think didnt want to look too deep into it #because they probably felt weird or invasive #i was just meant for lktwt huh... #what do u guys think? im curious #you guys know im always curious on what you have to say #you could say poop and i'd be like interesting #ily guys srryyyyy #ok thats it i just like talking in the tags a lot im sorry haha #astro.talks #astros.theories #grg #gnf #dnf

[sherlolly-siya]

Magnum P.I. S02xE18-20 spoilers and tidbits

I thought i’ll give a prologue first 😅 Remember i pet project where i was trying to decipher the episode names? yea i didn’t get very far on that.. but i have come to a conclusion, that each title is a convention for what the clients in that episode, and/or our P.I. is going through. Eg. S02xE16 : Farewell To Love

Episode starts with Gladys and Bert who had given up on love but eventually found it in one another. The fact that Gladys narrated this part makes it poetic in a sense that she was the one who had to say bid farewell to Bert.Then TC and Teresa, they found the one that they always loved. The one who made them happier, but TC had to let her go go, he bid farewell to his love, instead of ruining 3 lives.In the beginning of the episode, we see magnum all in for online dating, but after what happened with Dylan, we see him coming to an abrupt conclusion that online dating is just isn’t the thing for him, also adding to the fact, the girl who met through an app (Abby) had just recently broken off with him. So magnum kind of bid a metaphorical farewell to finding love online.

Spoilers for S02x18, S02x19 and S02x20 under the cut if you wish to continue. Warning: My rant got hella long, longer than i planned and there are lots of pics and links below. Thanks @maggiesoa​ and @lizzysfavs​ for providing some food for my thoughts  😊

So.. lets begin with S02x18 : A world of trouble I’m just grouping together the pics that I’ve found so far which seem to be related to episode 18: Perdy and Bobby discussed about having a scene together ignore jay’s comment here, I’m all for #TeamJin and I will riot if they ever kill him. I believe the episode starts with Jin, showing up at Robin’s nest, where he ends up in a situation where he has to change in magnum’s clothes (note the t-shirt magnum is ironing... (Edit: DIDN'T HAPPEN!!?? I MEAN!! This could have been cute.. didn't have to be a total BTS for once!!) Where we get this scene, All i can guess right now is that is a tab in Jin’s had, and he’s being a fair judge for miggy while they prepare for their visa interview, or he could be here with today’s case

Which takes us to to the primary promo for 2x18, where they solve the case at hand. Now my guess is that the case doesnt take up entire 47 minutes, because this promo also exists. What this secondary promo also shows is them at a office(?) guessing visa or may be its a school where the current client works? where magnum/higgy blurts out that they’re marrying and some lady says that they don’t look like a couple. We also see Katsumoto warning Higgy about the consequences of marrying their business partner. (Edit: this did happen and fueled Higgy’s resolve to back out.. nothing wrong there..but as Jin said.. may it be with Magnum or TC, u’re still breaking the law Mrs. I can figure out how pretending with TC is going to get good results? if anything.. it only comes out of nowhere) I’m sensing a connection here again with the title of the episode: A world of trouble:  - The current client, the case was definitely given to them by some one else because they approach the lady coz Higgy says “You’re in trouble, we just want to help you.”, which means she might have refused help at one point. - Literally 2 people in a 2 min worth promo have commented on their wedding, does this not sound like trouble to you?

When magnum is possibly heading out to go to La Mariana, (Edit: DING! DING! DING! This was indeed before the bar scene.. which kinda broke my heart.. but we’ll talk about that in detail later) she tells him that she’s reconsidered her decision that she will be marrying TC instead (which is weird, but for the sake of it, OK). Which also implies that she’s going to have a heart to heart with TC how she had one with Rick before in 2x13. (Edit: Umm.. i would have liked to hear the entire convo here.. but i guess its going to come back a flashback some day?) Magnum than heads to the bar, with Jin where he meets up with his friends and we get this, going by past experiences, this is going to be the last scene where he’s with his friends. Now what leaves me confused is this guy below, the one that magnum rescued and now has a food truck (Rem S1x01, they got him all the way from there now). He’s not listed for 2x18, but the actors caption says 2x18? So is he like the caterer for the wedding? (i thought kamekona was doing that?) or he’s there for entirely other reason?

Now this all leads up to S02x19 :  May The Best One Win Again the title is the synopsis here,

Magnum and Higgins are each hired by a different spouse who are in the middle of a contentious divorce to dig up dirt on the other, and Thomas and Higgins soon find themselves competing over resources. 

But i don’t think them competing again each other is the only thing here, remember this gem from TV guide magazine? - Jay mentions there being an odd jealousy there, and there is something percolating between the duo which magnum doesn’t want to address just yet. I think the competition is not just between Magnum and Higgy, for magnum it is also between him and TC. May be he’ll be still trying to show her that he is the one she should be marrying, even if that’s fake.  - And for the implied element we also have this garage fight, where they’re up against “just one guy, but a very big guy”. This again i don’t think takes forever to solve since, there’s an upcoming wedding everyone has to attend, we’ve all seen the famous pics, but this:

Him again!! And looks like he is in fact catering the event. Now since S02x19 and S02x20 are to be merged into one mega episode, lets slip into: S02x20 :  A Leopard on the Prowl 

Magnum and Higgins help Rick when his father figure, Icepick , just out of prison and battling terminal cancer, gets double crossed on one last score. Also, Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.

This is the rick centric episode the viewers were promised, Adding pics of Zac coz he looks great here:

But do you see anything missing here? My sleep deprived brain does. Icepick seems to be have fallen pray to something on the run, nothing pre-planned, the guy has terminal cancer, he’s dying any day now, why would someone spend any time to plan something against him? (He’s probably going to die in this epi..he only had few months.. the article says “reluctantly try to help him” seriously guys why do you have to be reluctant? And below pic is probably of the same related fight scene Jay talked about in the TV guide snippet:

And if the video Jay uploaded is even close to the actual scene, it could be because the guy hit Rick/Higgy and Magnum picked up another fight with him.. or that’s just for insta.. I’ll leave it open. There’s a fight scene with TC as well i suppose. Now what does the title have to do with the episode? Here’s my theory: - Remember Dr. Kim i already mentioned twice above. He’s gotta be here for more than just “catering the wedding”, magnum said he was a code breaker, he was mentioned in one of Robin’s books, he instantly identified the co-ordinates which Nuzzo left for Magnum, (which is duh!  u’re telling me that magnum was a navy SEAL and can read waves but cant piece together actual co-ordinates?!!). Magnum was kidnapped by Ivan’s people coz he needed something from him which was in the books, later Ivan had magnum delivered to himself on a secret mission of retrieving Hayek, who was a weapons dealer but he got away with drones instead.. I think this is all related somehow, there has to be something in this episode that points to this.. I thought may be its in Robin’s books.. but they have never mentioned the same book twice.. I’m still looking for answers though.. But going ahead, see this ,

“ Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.” “You see Higgins in a unexpected position, which magnum is very uncomfortable with and where he is not sure about his place”

Soo.. the wedding didn’t happen? So that’s not helping her stay in the country? 

It didn’t bother me much before.. but think about this, what if since the wedding plan backfired, she has to go back to London until her visa is renewed/reapplied for : an unexpected position since she has found something in Hawaii she doesn’t want to loose. Which leaves magnum as the in-charge of Robin’s nest and Zeus and Apollo and part of the deal [I can almost see my HC at the horizon]. An uncomfortable position where he has to manage the estate and the hounds of hell without his “professional better half”. I think there is a beach good-bye scene on this day, may be an actual hug between miggy? Supporting evidence as follows:

Now the last attempt Magnum makes, does he offer her a job? Does he confess? But that wouldn’t automatically land her in an unexpected situation , that would be magnum putting her in that situation while being full aware of his position. I bet lenkov has got pretty good plan for this to play out. Now this doesn’t back up my crack where Higgins leaves, because

This story was posted along with the one where magnum is boating.. so they’re probably from the same episode.. where the last ditch effort has paid off but Magnum and Higgins roles have now been shifted a little and lenkov’s quote makes sense “Nothing really changes”.. has anyone ne noticed that there are no Juliet pics from 2x20 yet? 

I cant wait to see that though.. and for a 100% i know there is a season 3, its a gut feeling i have. Thank you for stopping by.. sorry it was too long  😘

#magnum pi spoilers #magnum pi #my crack #deductions #miggy #lenkov-verse #thomas magnum #uliet higgins #orville wright #theodore calvin #the ohana thread

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Doubts (Tierna Davidson x reader)

Y/n's pov

I just sat on my bed playing with the necklace T got me for our 6th anniversary. I had just arrived at camp along with Kelley and Christen from Utah. I was just waiting in my room for Mal who's my roommate for this camp, but I can't help but think about the box burning a hole in my sweatpants pocket. I don't know how long I've been sitting there before I see a hand being waved in front of my face, "You okay Y/n?". I just nod still not looking at Mal. I feel the bed dip beside me as I turn to see Mal sit beside me, "Cmon Y/n you know you can tell me anything". "I'm just worried" I sign. There is one thing you need to know about me.

I'm deaf

It's be a struggle at times seeing as not everyone knows sign language. But I learned to read lips and I also have my voice app. But it didn't stop me from being absolutely terrified when I was called up to the National Team. Luckily I was being called up with my twin Mal, so at least I knew someone. Thankfully everyone was great. When Mal and I came back to your second camp I was shocked to find out that the whole team learned sign language for me. And that's when I realised this team really is a family.

So after we graduated from high school, Mal and I signed with UCLA. When Mal dropped out I stayed to continue of in college. It was at a UCLA Vs Stanford match where I first met Tierna and surprisingly she already knew sigh language and we hit it off. Then when she got the call up to the national team we became even closer until we were forced together by the team. (Note to self, next time Kelley asks for help with something. Just say no). And now we have been together ever since.

Ever though she's in Chicago and I'm in Utah we still make it work. I can safely say she's the light of my light and would happily scream it from the rooftops if I could. But there's always doubts in mind. Everyday I question how I was able to end up with this beautiful amazing intelligent adorkable woman. Why would she want to stay with someone she can't even have a normal conversation with when she can find someone better and more deserving of her love?

"Worried about what? Cmon Y/n. We tell each other everything that's the good thing about having a twin" Mal assures. I sigh and run my hand through my hair and try to play with my fingers. I start typing on my phone using the text to speech because I didn't feel like sighing, "I've been thinking of asking tierna to marry me". Mal's eyes widen before she starts to seqeal and Juno around the room, "Omg Y/n. That's amazing! I can't believe it. This is so exciting". She rants but stops once she sees my face. "Why are you so upset then?". I start typing again, "What if she realises she deserves someone better? Someone normal". Mal glares hard at me, "Y/n you need to stop bring yourself down. You are one of the most incredible people I know and I know for a fact that tierna absolutely adores you just like you worship her. You do deserve her and you are normal".

I kinda of zoned out half way through she talking as I start to type again, "I'm not normal Mal! Do you know how frustrating it is when I have to rely on people translating for me for interviews. Or to even go to a restaurant? I can't even have a normal conversation with her. I can't have proper conversations with people. I'm the furthest from normal Mal". And with that I storm out of the room.

I find myself on the roof. I just needed to get away and breathe and thinking. Hence the roof. I knew I was going to be found soon, so it didn't surprise me when I hear the door open and shut behind me. I could tell by the smell of her perfume that it wasn't my twin though. "What to talk about what has Mal freaking out down stairs about you rushing out of your room?". I don't turn to her, I just continue to stare out onto the city. When she doesn't get a response, she gently takes my face in her hands and forces me to look at her.

The setting sun reflected off her hair giving it a glow almost like an angels halo while her eyes sparkled. No words were spoken as I just lean my forehead against hers still looking into her eyes which j would willing get lost in for the rest if my life if I could. She leans down slightly and captures my lips in a gentle but passionate kiss almost pouring all her love into this kiss. I happily kiss back, but all too soon it ends.

"Cmon tell me what's wrong?" She whispers. I sigh before I start to sigh, "I'm not normal. And you deserve someone normal. Someone who you can have conversations with. Someone who doesn't rely on people to translate for everyday stuff. You deserve someone so much better T". She rubs her thumbs over my cheeks, "Well there's your problem. Your saying that there is someone better than you. Which to me isn't possible. There is no one in this entire earth who I rather be with. You light up my whole day with just your smile. I don't care if you can't talk, it doesn't make me love you any less. I love you for your amazing quirks. Like how you shruch your nose when you disagree with something. Or when you slip your hand into mine when you know I feel uncomfortable. I love how funny and kind hearted you are. I love you Y/n Pugh and don't you ever forget that". I just smile at her before leaning up and pressing a kiss after her lips. I feel her smiles into the kiss before she pulls away, "Besides who else would listen to all my dorky science rants".

I walked back into my room where I see Mal, rose, sonnett, Lindsey and Kelley scattered around the room, "I need your help". I make eye contact with Mal as she started back, "I'm going to do it".

We were just after winning our game after Australia wining 3 - 1. Tierna was beside me as we looked around the stadium at the screaming fans. I turn and look at Mal and the others as they nod and slink off into the dressing room. Tierna and I make our way around the stadium sighing stuff and taking pictures. After a while I see Kelley and the others return and give me a thumbs up. I smile back at them. I slip my hand into tierna's and gently tug her in the direction of the dressing room. She follows me but gives me a questioning look, "What are you doing?". I just give her another smile and drag her into the dressing room. When I pull her she she gapes at the room. Around the room is pictures of us together from throughout the years. From the very first picture we got together her wearing her Stanford jersey with me in my UCLA one to a picture from yesterday where I was giving her a piggy back to dinner. "Y/n?". "Tierna when I'm with you. I don't feel like the deaf girl. Or the one who can't talk. I'm just Y/n. You bring out a better side of me. I'm grateful that I met you at that match that day. And as you can see from all these pictures around the room. We have had some great memories and I wouldn't change a thing. But I want to keep making new memories with you, but maybe with one small change". I slowly hey down on one knee and pull out the ring from my pocket, "Hopefully we can keep making new memories but with a different name on our backs. So Tierna Davidson will you marry me?". Tierna just rapidly nods her head as tears escapes from her eyes. Before pulling me into a kiss. We are interupted by cheers coming from the door where we see the team, but I just focus on Tierna. "I love you Y/n". "And I love you Red".

#tierna davidson imagines #tierna davidson #tierna davidson x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #uswnt #uswnt imagine #mal pugh

[martyrgargoyle]

Hey I know the Tyler post is about racism and not homophobia and I don’t want to change the topic from that but I just wanted to add on that he did something very similar in 2015. When gay marriage was legalized fans asked him to say something and he posted a long rant about his mental illness and basically implied posting was a burden to him. I just wanted to bring that to light as well cause it’s not the first time he’s made something unrelated about his own problems

you’re right anon, good memory! he’s also been known to show disinterest when meeting fans and they say he inspired him to come out and be themselves, usually brushing past it. i didn’t include these in the original post since it was focusing on his racist past/excusing racism but if you look at the notes app rant he did for gay marriage, it follows the rant he did on twitter recently too! here’s the two rants compared (text) for anyone that wants them/need an alt text:

2015 TXT, on his silence on gay marriage being legalized:

“it breaks my heart to see that not posting would lead to some of you to believe that i do not love and support you. that is simply not true. any day where love defeats hate, you can know i am celebrating, just maybe not on twitter. as for the silence: through personal experience, i want to create and influence something that might help others navigate through the battlefield that is the brain. and for those who understand that terminology, you know what battle i am talking about. but while at this mental ground zero, i have found any influence added on, no matter how noble, becomes too heavy for me to carry. i am not strong enough. be patient with me as i grow, that some day i might be able to carry more weight. but for now, i write what i know. both josh and i mean this, with love and support, tyler”

VS

his full 2020 twitter rant (in TXT) when told he shouldn’t joke about blm:

‘your own mental health should always be a priority. i’m amazed at how easy it is to forget that simple fact. it’s something that can sneak up on you, then eventually you check in on it and realize it’s in really bad shape. i’m trying to cut through to who really needs to hear this. this is tough, but it’s not hopeless. fighting for your mental health is not public, it’s not glorious, it’s not even interesting, but it’s the greatest challenge you will face. i use music, humor, being alone, breaks from social media, family, uncomfortable and honest conversations with friends, and sometimes crying. a few tools, but they don’t all work for everyone. find what helps you take back ground lost. i really don’t know if i can even handle everything that’s happening right now. the scariest place to be is when you find yourself in a spot where you can’t find an answer to the question, “what’s the point?” there has to be a point. according to the world health organization: Close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. according to American Foundation of Suicide Prevention: On average, there are 132 suicides per day. mentally/emotionally, i can only carry so much, because what i do care about is so heavy, the thought of adding more on top of it makes me want to stop trying. but we can never stop trying. this site, along with many others, has been a guide. it’s not perfect, but it’s the right direction. [link to afsp.org] starting September 6th is national suicide prevention awareness week. what does that mean exactly? i don’t know. but if it can get a single person’s attention at the right time, it’s everything. #keepgoing. i respect all the warriors out there fighting for different causes. there is honor in it, purpose, and it can make our world better. i just want to remind you what i’m fighting for: your mental health is more important today than it ever has been. you’re not alone. you don’t know what someone else is going through. what other invisible weights they may be struggling to carry. keep that in mind as you go about your interactions. and take care of yourself, please. this isn’t a notes app moment. i’m doubling down on my platform tweet. it was fantastic.”

Lots of words! Here's a basic breakdown for people that may need help to see what was the similarities:

RED: I highlighted these since they stood out the most to me when comparing similarities and basically sums it up if you're skimming. Other than these lines being basically the same and not even hidden in the fact, he's shifting the weight and importance on HIS mental health. Not anyone else's or the situation at hand that caused outrage. Instead, he's using his mental health as an excuse while proceeding to tell us that it's a burden for him to support POC and LGBT and to be patient WITH HIM while dealing with other people's lives.

In both rants he's avoiding the issue that caused his fans to be hurt. Instead of holding any responsibility or giving an apology for any harm he caused to the wellbeing of his audience; he flips it and turns it to them and blaming them for how he may have hurt them/caused worries. i know a lot of people say it isn't a big deal BUT please remember who he directs his music for and his audience. he knows its a lot of mentally ill people, specifically younger adults or teenagers. and while there's nothing wrong with that, blaming and saying they're at fault for having a lot of hopes and seeing him as a general inspiration and getting hurt at the idea of him not supporting them finally being able to love someone legally; it can and did cause a lot of damage and insecurity in his more impressionable fan base.

for the blm one, it was even worse. he openly mocked the movement and people that protest to an impressionable audience and to his fanbase that again, see him as a huge inspiration in fighting for peace and justice since he inspires them to have a voice. so he not only showed the younger fans/planted the confusion of its okay to mock this movement, he also laughed in the face of people that admire him and are trying to fight for a change. and this is from a WHITE perspective, i cant even imagine how his POC fans felt and the betrayal they felt to see their hero mock their struggle and demand to not be discriminated against :(

#sorry for the long wait! #i been goin through it hhhh but hopefully this made sense! #sry if a bit messy! #anyone feel free to reword it and make a post and ill reblog the better version #but yea tyler been having a shady history #tyler jøseph #fuck tyler joseph #tyler joseph #21 piløts #21p #21 pilots #long post #anon #answered #txt #asks

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #11 (1979)

The only weapon you need to provoke a police officer to violence is scorn.

Sorry! The above caption had nothing to do with The Cockroach's first appearance in Cerebus and everything to do with how the Omaha Police arrested peaceful protesters by claiming that they're purpose was to "attack and/or provoke police officers to violence." Also, you can tell they're already spinning and lying by adding the "and/or" so they can imply that the protesters are planning on attacking police. And, well, even if they weren't (and they did say "or"!), their other main plan was to provoke them. But of course everybody whose ability to perceive reality isn't clouded by their incessant need to defend police no matter what understands that police will abuse their power at the drop of an eye roll. They believe any slight disrespect is an excuse for a violent rebuttal. They force physical violence on people whom they have no reason to arrest simply so the person can struggle against the assault, as any normal person would do, and then claim resisting. Police should be confronted by scorn and disrespect at every turn. Only when they learn not to instantly resort to violence and threats will they deserve to not be. Welcome to my comic book and/or police review blog! Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" continues on a theme that I hadn't noticed until just now: every new issue of Cerebus now seems to be a landmark issue! It's an interesting self-promotion take that I have to admit I'd never thought of trying. "Every new Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea review is a landmark review!" You know what else is a landmark? Places & Predators, my Cribbage-based Roller Playing Game! You don't even really need any friends to play it. Just read it like a book and enjoy it! Or play it like a Fighting Fantasy Adventure Book! Use some online Cribbage app! Figure out how to use the crib in ways the online app definitely won't let you! Oh, the reason this is a landmark issue is because more letters came in than normal! It's a hit! Deni also reveals that she'll be making the Cerebus plush toys that were advertised in previous issues and at half the price! So kudos for stealing that job from the person who originally made them! It probably wasn't anything so dramatic but what fun is going through your life defaulting to the best, most optimistic possibility in every given situation? Have some fun! Act paranoid! Purposefully misunderstand your father and scream in his face! Kick a dog! Sorry! I got carried away! I would never kick a dog unless it was attacking me. But even then, I'd be wishing I was kicking the owner who let it go off leash. The dog doesn't deserve my epic self defense tactics in its soft face. But the owner certainly does!

The basics on the origin of The Cockroach.

I didn't realize Dave came up with The Cockroach because it was gross and disgusting. I just thought it was a more clever version of a bat, keeping to the shadows, hiding, surviving, a constant annoyance to poor people. In any case, The Cockroach is the greatest parody of The Batman, hands down. Because The Batman has become such a parody of himself time and time again, you just need an absolutely Batshit insane version of him. I don't do segues so Cerebus has come to Beduin to sell the Black Blossom Lotus. Just look at all the continuity Dave Sim is giving his readers! I wonder how many comic book fans would list "continuity" as their number one favorite thing about comic books? Like, are there people who would list that above great writing or terrific art? Judging by how terrible a lot of mainstream comic books are and how rabid many of the fans, I'd suspect it was a fairly high number. Maybe 65 out of 100, Bob. Change that card! The Merchant Cerebus deals with is a kook who might just have a super secret identity. It's weird to think of the Roach as being capable of actually living an independent life! I suppose he's just barely hanging onto his sanity at this point (and, of course, only during the day). But then he comes into the mystical aura of strangeness that aardvarks apparently exude out of their buttholes and he just loses it completely. He becomes less a merchant slash superhero and more a superhero slash zombie cosplayer. Also he becomes one of the greatest characters ever created! There are like four of them in the entirety of Cerebus! The exclamation point is because I think that's an incredibly high number and not because I think it's an incredibly low number. Most comic book's protagonists never quite make it to the greatest ever! Plus I'd probably give Cerebus more than four but a lot of them are just really good parodies, satires, and slightly-off representations of characters and people who already existed. The merchant buys the Black Blossom Lotus from Cerebus for 100 gold pieces and then promptly drops it out of the window and into the Feld River.

Not only does Dave Sim come up with a bunch of memorable plots across three hundred issues, he also comes up with a lot of good Dungeons & Dragons campaign ideas.

The Merchant pays Cerebus a sack of gold and gets ready for bed as Cerebus begins to leave. Before Cerebus can even exit the hallway outside the merchant's bedroom door, Cerebus begins to hear loud ranting coming from the other side. It's a lot of hissing and threats of murder. Against his better judgment, Cerebus decides to see what's happening and gets his first look at the guy who will be a huge headache to him for the next two hundred issues or so.

One thing I like about Dave Sim is how honest he is when recounting where he came up with or stole his ideas. He gives plenty of credit for the Cockroach and his hissing to Marshall Rogers and Jules Feiffer. It's admirable because a lot of people would just figure, "It might make me look less of an artist and who's going to know anyway?!"

Just a few days ago, my old elementary school friend who was blown up in Iraq and then became a comedian playing to Christians and patriots (which I mention so you'll understand how, as a wounded veteran, he'll never be criticized by his audience and he'll never really grow as a comedian) posted a Tik Tok on Facebook that was just a film of a television set capturing the "Masked Debate" bit on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The clip only shows all the clips of news readers saying "masked debate" and none of Oliver's or the show's set-up. He then watermarked it with his Tik Tok name. Now all of those naive followers who can only seem to reply to his posts with the laugh/cry emoji probably think he wrote it. Better yet, they're probably mostly Trump followers who would never admit to finding that libjerk Oliver or his show funny. What's even better is that the Tik Tok has some quote along top that's watermarked with somebody else's Tik Tok name! So it looks like Bob doubly stole the bit. Man, I wish I'd joined the army and gotten blown up and then found Christ and developed an audience of uncritical naive yahoos who would wildly applaud everything I wrote! Why didn't I join the army?! Oh, that's right. Because I believed I had a future right out of high school. Well, I guess Bob is having the last laugh now! Cerebus follows Cockroach across the rooftops to find out what's going on. He eventually witnesses the Cockroach confront a man in an alley, accuse him of killing his parents, knock him out, and steal his gold. The gold part of the night helps Cerebus to ignore all of the other confusing stuff. The Cockroach doesn't gloat for long. He's off to find another victim! Cerebus witnesses him mug another guy whom he also accuses of killing his parents. He also admits to doing this for thirty years. So now Cerebus thinks the guy is crazy but also crazy rich. At the end of the night, the Cockroach returns home and drops the gold purses into a secret panel in the wall. He falls asleep, wakes up, and, when he sees Cerebus, acts as if Cerebus were just leaving. So Cerebus realizes that the merchant doesn't have any idea what the Cockroach is doing. Which means Cerebus is going to recover those gold purses before the Cockroach comes back! At the moment, Cerebus doesn't realize that he's going to be finding thirty years worth of gold purses in the merchant's walls. Can you imagine how boring the last two hundred and eighty-nine issues of Cerebus would have been if Cerebus managed to steal all of the Roach's gold?! I'm sure some of you are thinking, "It wouldn't have been any worse than the last hundred issues we did get!" Also, can you imagine how fat Cerebus would have gotten drinking tons of ale and eating loads of rich foods? I'm laughing so much just trying to picture it! Ha ha!

Eight feet of gold would make Cerebus fatter than a domesticated raccoon!

In the end, Cerebus only makes it away with three sacks of gold. But in the process, he manages to completely screw up the Roach/Merchant equilibrium that's lasted for thirty years. In trying to exploit the man's mental illness so that he'd help Cerebus move the gold, Cerebus drags the Roach personality into the daylight. From here on out, the Roach will simply be a pawn of others, susceptible to almost any second-rate demagogue (although most of the people who subsequently control the Roach are of the first rate variety). The Aardvark Comment section was two pages this issue and had this letter that I don't think was being sarcastic?

I guess I also wouldn't necessarily consider a chainmail bikini as "a disgusting costume." He's probably thinking about Power Girl.

Also, and I admit it might have been a joke, but Dave Sim reveals that Ronald Reagan is Cerebus' father. That, um, makes sense! Cerebus #11 Rating: A. I almost gave it a B+ for variety but then I remembered I just read the first appearance of the Roach. I also forgot that my ratings don't actually mean anything.

#Cerebus #Dave Sim

[prorevenge]

We didn't help but hOW DARE YOU REMOVE US?!

I'm in 11th grade and boy, oh boy, I thought my classmates from the previous school years were stupid but God, my classmates this year takes the cake.

We have Research ( something like thesis writing ) as a subject this year. Our teacher grouped our class into three groups. Mine ended up being the unluckiest. I was stuck with the 5 most entitled shit heads in the class. They were known for not doing shit in group activities yet when you try to remove them from the group they'd start shit.

And that's exactly what happened.

They basically did nothing the entire time my co-leader and I begged them to help. It was annoying and we decided to kick them out of the group if they don't help anything in Chapter 3.

Surprise, surprise! They didn't do shit. I kept messaging the group chat asking them to help or else but were they scared? Threatened? Nope! They just left me on read, every. Single. Time. My co-leader and I then did the most logical thing; we removed them from the group.

By the way, we kept reminding them that if they don't help out in any of the chapters, they'll get removed.

Last Saturday (Mar. 16), my co-leader and I revised our paper and we asked the select group members ( who actually did shit ) to send their dedication. On Sunday, my co-leader asked those who haven't sent in their dedication to send it since it was supposed to be passed the following day. This alerted one of the five shit heads.

Let's call him Jack.

Jack: What about me?

Co-leader (CL from now on): ask Gayle.

Me: Those who were mentioned gets to send in their dedications.

This alerted another shit head ( let's call her Mimi ).

Mimi: What about me?

I repeated what I said.

Jack: So we don't have to do anything?

Me [ in the most passive aggressive way ever ]: Hmm, I don't know. You might have to do another Research Paper?

Jack and Mari (another shit head): Why?

I then proceeded to explain that they didn't help one bit even if it was as easy as sending one link.

I was enraged that night and I was ranting which alerted another shit head who oh my god is the worst, most entitled piece of shit out of the five of them. Let's call her Kae.

Kae was livid when she found out she & her precious group of friends got kicked out for not doing anything. She began ranting about how she doesn't deserve to be disrespected like this and how she deserves to get an instant reply. The other three shit heads were hyping her and saying all these inappropriate things (i.e., how they loved to grind in a bar just to earn money).

Kae: I can't believe it! You guys just left me on read!

Me [ again, passive aggressively ]: [[ cough ]] you guys also left me on read when i ask you to do something [[ cough ]] i'm sorry, my throat's itchy.

Kae: WOW! How could you say that? You only notice a select few ( I don't. I've said it over & over again that if anyone has any questions, i'll happily answer it).

Me: uhmm... Remember the sub groups chats from a month ago?

Mimi: Gayle, you said that you'll handle everything and we'd just pay.

Me: I never said that. I said that you'd have to pay if you didn't get to help out.

After that it was all chaos. I was ready to kill a bitch or maybe 5. The shit heads kept saying over and over and over about how "you could've approached us," "you could've said something," and a bunch of other shit. I was shaking due to the rage I was feeling. I've done everything to make them help. I begged, asked, and they didn't comply. I started replying to them in all caps, saying on how they're removed and that there was no way of them being ever included in the group again.

Mimi then said something about family.

Mimi: I thought we were family? I thought we were supposed to help each other out.

Kae: There is no FAMILY! ONLY GREEDINESS!

CL: It isn't our fault if you weren't active. We aren't always family.

Me: Stop it with your family bullshit cause we never treated nor saw you as family.

I removed the from the group chat, thinking it was all over. God, was I wrong. My co-leader informed me that they were mentioning me in the class group chat. They were causing an uproar. They kept saying shit like, "it's finally time to see their true personalities," or about how bad of a leader I am or about how much they paid for our research paper ( they paid 13 pesos, which isn't much honestly), and they even compared me to our class president.

Now, in our class, I'm a respectable student being both the top 1 and the class vice president. I'm a nice leader and I definitely do my part but I'm no push over. Unlike our class president who is a giant push over and that's why they said she was the better leader cause they can abuse her kindness. ( The class president and I are very good friends so no one took the comparison to an offence ).

There was a riot in the group chat and my emotionally inept classmates just kept adding fuel to the fire. It was ridiculous and immature. My co-leader and I kept quiet and decided to let them feast on their stupidity. It was 12:07 AM when they finally shut up and I decided to get some sleep too.

Here's where the fun begins. I woke up at 5:30AM in a cold sweat. I had a plan and I was absolutely ready to go through with it. Those shit heads were "exposing" me with screenshots ( because I replied to them in a passive aggressive way ) then two can play at that game. I've got all the necessary shit to expose them too. I still have the sub group chats from Chapters 1 & 3 and the entire group chat for our Research.

I borrowed my grand dad's phone, opened my Messenger account and began taking screenshots. I posted them all on MyDay for everyone to see. I added a few passive aggressive notes on the pics.

The screenshots proved that they didn't help nor gave one single reply. But my petty ass wasn't done there just yet, nope. I planned on making a portfolio with all the screenshots plus an essay. I gathered all my money because the screenshots were a hundred plus.

I told my co-leader about this. She thought it was over the top but our other group members told me they were on board.

When I got to school that day, my classmates were either asking for details or saying good luck. It just pumped me up to go through with the plan even more. CL and I went to the nearest computer shop to print the screenshots. Once CL & I entered the room, we were both shocked.

The 5 shit heads were there. They actually went to school. That was a fucking miracle to be honest. I rolled my eyes as I hid the printed screenshots from their view. They left the room but not before making a few comments about me. Those comments only fueled the fire.

Once they actually left, I began sorting the screenshots out. The class president noticed & asked about it. I told her my plan and she cheered me on. Another classmate asked when the fight was gonna start. I laughed and told him that this was the way I was gonna bring them down by ruining their reputation in the faculty room.

Nobody likes the 5 shit heads. They always started shit and a few of my classmates have confronted them but it wasn't successful due to lack of necessary evidence. I was ready to be the one that took them down.

While I sorted out the screenshots, the shit heads came back. Before they could see what I was doing, I quickly hid it all. They stayed in the room for 10 minutes or so, loudly talking about the incident the night before or how Class President was the better leader. I rolled my eyes at them again. After they said their comments, they left the room with their bags. They only went to school to talk shit about me and CL.

Classic.

After I finished sorting the screenshots and finished writing the essay, it was all set. The only thing missing was the Research Paper itself. My friend and I went back to the computer shop to print the Paper. On the way there, we crossed paths with the shit heads and they said something about grades or something, I'm not sure.

Once the paper was printed, we set off. We reached the faculty room. We saw our teacher and signaled him over. I handed our Research Paper plus the portfolio. We didn't say anything and our teacher flipped through the pages. He was silent then he went back to his desk.

Mission Accomplished.

But the story doesn't end there. Tuesday ( Mar. 19), our adviser confronted us.

Adviser ( A from now on): What's this about?

Kae: Gayle removed us from the group without us knowing.

Me: Well, you guys --

Kae: She was rude to us and I was asking nicely.

Me: [ towards our other classmate ] Ren! Let me borrow your phone.

He gave me his phone and I logged in my Messenger account.

Me: [[ handing the phone to A ]] here's the group chat Ma'am.

A: [[ takes the phone ]] okay! Everyone take the exams while I read!

And we did. After the exam, she asked us ( the shit heads + the rest of the group) to come over and talk. We came over and she said a little something that made me smirk.

A: Call Sir John!

The shit heads looked unfazed. They were tight with our adviser. They were thinking that she'd side with them but nope, she never sided with them when it came to arguments like this.

Kae was staring daggers at me while our classmates called our Research adviser. The other 4 were smirking and laughing amongst themselves. CL was rolling her eyes and the rest of the group were doing other things. I was neutral. I had no expression on my face.

After 5 minutes or so, Sir John ( SJ from now on ) came into the room. He had his class record and a familiar purple sliding folder with him. He brought the portfolio. SJ sat down on one of the chairs and the meeting resumed.

A: Start talking.

Kae: Well, it happened Sunday night. Jack messaged me on Facebook telling me we got removed from the Research group. I messaged our group chat and no one was answering --

Me: We're sorry we didn't get to reply early.

Jack: But you were online.

( Anyone who uses FB on mobile would know that you don't actually have to be on the app 24/7 to be online, you just have to be connected to a data/internet connection. I was on YT when they messaged.)

Mimi: We were mentioning you.

Me: I'm sorry but mentions don't work for me as I don't have Messenger installed on my phone. ( i have a Samsung Galaxy V btw )

Kae: That isn't the point. You were online yet you weren't responding. Shows how much of a bad leader you are.

I. Was. Baffled. I knew these shit heads were entitled but god damn, their level is wow.

Mari: You left us on read.

A: [[ slams her palm on the desk ]] enough!! Move on to the actual problem.

Kae: Gayle removed us from the group without our permission.

Me: I have a valid reason. You didn't help out.

Mimi: But you told us we only have to pay and you'd handle the rest.

Me: What else was I suppose to say? You'd only ask what you can do when it was time for passing? Plus, I only said you'd have to pay if you didn't help out.

Kae: Where tf did you say that?

Me: The group chat you love to leave on read.

They were accusing me of lying but luckily SJ stepped in.

SJ: [[ handing A the portfolio ]] Here's all the evidence you need, Ma'am.

A: [[ takes the portfolio and starts reading through it ]]

A read through Exhibit B which contained the conversation where I was asking for links regarding classroom discussion yet none of the shit heads could send any.

A: Why couldn't any of you send just one link? One link and it would've been fine!

A was mad. The shit heads were speechless for a second then began spewing out bull shit excuses like, "We don't have internet," "The internet cafe's too far," and, "I don't have any money."

I rolled my eyes. These shit heads could afford to drink at a bar-esque place every single day but couldn't afford to take 5 minutes out of their time to send a link.

Weird flex but okay.

A read through a few more pages. She was now on Exhibit C, D, and E which were all the sub groups where I was messaging and messaging and messaging for at least one of them shit heads to help.

A: Kae! Mimi! Why didn't any of you reply?

Kae: We thought we weren't needed.

Mimi: They just told us to pay.

SJ: They were messaging and kept asking for help.

A decided to stir the topic away from payment for a while.

A: Gayle, did you tell them when the deadline was?

Me: Yes, it's in th--

Kae: SHE NEVER DID! She never cared about us! She's always focusing on CL. CL this & CL that.

Me: I did and you left me on read and she's my co leader, what tf were you expecting? Plus you would've known when the deadline was if any of you just attended Sir John's classes for once.

Mimi: We do!

Bold of her to lie inbfront of SJ's face.

SJ: You don't. I have my class records and almost all of you are either Late or Absent most of the time.

Kae: We're late? What can we do about that?

Mari: Yes! What can we do about that?

Me: I don't know. Maybe make an effort to actually go to class early.

Joy: Classes start too early.

Our class start at 10 fucking 30.

SJ: Classes start at 10:30. You have enough time to be on time for classes.

The shit heads were silent. They had no come back now. It was silent till Mimi opened her fucking mouth.

Mimi: It's still unfair that we paid and now we aren't included.

Joy: I know right?!

A: Did you even help out?

SH ( shit heads ): No.

SJ: What do you even think Research is?! Do you pay for it?!

It was silent again and I was so glad I was wearing a face mask because I was smirking so wide that time.

Jack: [[ chuckles ]] Class President's group is still much better. Her group members don't have to pay and don't have to do anything to get included in the Paper.

A: Are you her group mates? No, so disregard her and the other group.

SJ: You are her [[ gestures to me ]] group mates so you are under her authority.

A: How much did you even pay?

Me: 13 pesos. Total.

SJ: [[ stares at the shit heads with an eyebrow raised ]]

A: [[ asking the SH ]] did you pay for Chapter 1?

SH: Yes!

A: [[ to me ]] Did you include them?

Me: Yes.

A: [[ to SH ]] How about for Chapter 2?

SH: Yes!

A: [[ to me ]] Did you include them?

Me: Yes.

A: [[ to SH ]] Did you pay for Chapter 3?

SH: ... No...

A: [[ to me ]] Did you include them?

Me: No.

A: See! They included you when you paid! What are you getting mad about?

Kae: It's still unfair that we aren't included anymore.

Mimi: wE PAID!

A: Not everything can be done through money. Now, don't depend on your group leader to do everything.

SJ: You now have to do your own Research paper. To be passed tomorrow.

Jack: Fine! Class President said she's gonna help us anyway.

SJ: No, she won't. I'll tell her to not help you as there will be consequences if I ever found she helped you or you asked for help.

Mimi: But sir! We don't know what to do.

SJ: What a shame. You should've attended my classes then. By the way, I've done what you asked me to do.

SJ got up from his seat with the class record and portfolio in hand and left.

The shit heads were speechless and I was amused. I knew exactly what Sir John meant, he made the entire faculty read the portfolio so now the teachers now what shenanigans these shits were up to.

I was happy that day. We won the case, the shit heads have to do their own paper.

Kae was glaring at me whenever she saw me that day and some say she's still glaring until now.

I celebrated by treating myself to McDonald's.

(source) story by (/u/AGryffindork)

#prorevenge #by /u/AGryffindork #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[utaprifanzine]

Shining Live Fanzine: Concept Pitch

I believe @utapri-idol-hell has already mentioned this upcoming project on her blog so, without further delay, this is the completed concept pitch for an SL-themed Utapri fanzine!

(Note: there is also a link to this post on twitter! If you have a twitter account, please consider retweeting the post from this account so that non-tumblr users can also see this!)

I would like to first put emphasis on the fact that this is a concept pitch. That means this is a presentation of the initial idea to anyone who might be interested in this project. At this point in time, most of the rules and concepts are still malleable - they can be changed and shaped according to feedback from this post.

If you are interested in this project (as either a contributor or as someone who would want to acquire a copy of the zine) please consider filling out this feedback form. Any responses will be useful to determine how the zine moves forward, but the feedback is particularly important in regards to the “Application Methods” section of this post (see below).

There are, however, three rules which are already “set” and would not be changed. They are as follows:

This zine would feature work from both artists and writers.

Due to Broccoli’s history with ordering “cease and desist”s against utapri doujin artists, this would be a non-profit zine. Thus, digital copies would be completely free.

The concept for this zine is based on the intention of it being a fun project that would appeal to the majority of the fanbase. Therefore, some rules are set in place to avoid content that might spark conflict and/or be geared towards a specific audience.

Below the cut, this post is split into three sections: Concept, Rules, and Application Methods. Each section is clearly noted with a header. “Concept” covers the general theme, content, and layout; “Rules” covers additional restrictions and/or allowances for the zine content; and “Application Methods” covers various possible ways a writer or artist could possibly apply to do a page for the zine. That last section is particularly important, because at the moment the application method for the zine has yet to be decided and the final decision will depend feedback.

There’s quite a bit of information below, so for anyone who is dyslexic or has any other reading difficulties, the most important information is in bold.

The ask box is also open for anyone who has any additional questions, or would like further expansion on something mentioned in the following text.

Please also consider reblogging this post so more people can see it!

The initial concept for this zine, was that it would (hopefully) be the first in a series of SL-themed zines that followed the chronological release pattern of the in-game events and gachas.

This seemed to be a good way to establish a kind of content equilibrium, so that no specific character/event/gacha appeared too often or too little. The pages would be themed after the events/gachas and each one would have a specific amount of pages allotted to it. Since KLab has only screwed the rotation once thus far, it seems like an easier method of creating balance.

Originally, it was going to be an annual digital zine with a high page count. However, since people have expressed their interest in physical copies of a zine, the concept was revised into something that would also translate well into physical format.

The following are the revised restrictions/guidelines for the current concept of the zine:

The total page count would be 44 pages. This includes the front/back cover, index and closing pages.

The content would cover from the release of the game (Aug/Sept 2017) up through January 2018. This covers 8 gacha and 10 events, not including the SL UR set which would also be featured.

Each event and gacha would be allotted two A4 pages of content - one for art and one for a piece of flash fiction. The cover and its related story would have double that amount: front/back cover + a two page short story.

The zine would have the potential to run in both physical and digital formats. Digital zines would be completely free (hence, non-profit project) however they will still require the purchaser to put in an order/request for the file. There will be no public download link posted.

All contributors are entitled to a digital copy without placing a request. Free physical copies may be a possibility, but that depends on a number of factors (namely the amount of contributors, zine orders, and if a print run is made at all) so I can’t promise anything at this point.

Print runs would be made if there is enough demand for physical copies, and there would only be one run per zine. This is reduce the risk of Broccoli viewing the zine production as a competitive merchandise and thereby becoming offended by the project.

(The following rules were put in place regarding the intentions and concept for the zine. Since this is a concept pitch, each rule is followed by an explanation of why it exists. If you believe any rule is unnecessary, or flawed, please note that in the feedback form! Passive-aggressively ranting about it on twitter doesn’t help!)

The UR Rule

The featured UR pair (for gachas) or the featured UR/SR pair (for events) MUST be the focus of the piece. Other characters can be mentioned and/or appear, but the piece has to be clearly centered on the two featured characters for that set/event. This is to help ensure the balance of content set by following the release patterns.

This goes without saying, but the pieces must also be themed after the event/gacha for which they are the pages for. A simple mention, hint, or acknowledgement toward the set/event isn't strong enough to be considered a theme.

Non-Shining Live Characters Are Allowed

Although the zine will be SL themed, all other characters that are part of the Utapri franchise can be featured within artwork and fiction pieces submitted to the zine. Since they’re official characters, I see no reason to purposely block them out.

The UR rule still applies, however, so these characters cannot become the focus of the pieces.

Keep it PG 13/15

This is partly in place to acknowledge the younger fans of the franchise (as well as those who aren't big fans of higher rated content) and partly because there is no fail-safe way to verify someone's age over the internet.

There are a lot of minors who consume and produce adult content for this fandom, and while their choices are theirs to make (I'm not the fandom police, it's none of my business), I don't want this project to be held responsible for distributing inappropriate content to minors in case issues do arise.

It's also worth noting that this rule does not only apply to sexual content (because some people think R18 only means sex). A piece depicting other mature themes - such as serious cannibalism, gore, or class A drug use - would not be acceptable.

No Romantic Ships

I feel like this is going to be the least popular rule, so the explanation for this is twice as long. Hear me out for a minute, and, if by the end you still think it’s unnecessary, by all means put that on the response form!

There are two main reasons for this rule.

Firstly, although shipping as a concept is extremely popular within fandom, individual ships still only cater to very specific audiences within the fanbase. No matter which way you twist it, no matter the popularity of any given ship, no single ship is universal. Some fans don't even connect to the idea of shipping in the first place.

Under most circumstances, that's completely fine, but within the context of a fanzine that's intended to appeal to as much of the fanbase as possible, allowing ships starts to seem very juxtaposed to that goal.

Case and point: if I have to include an extra contents page that lists all of the ships mentioned inside the zine so people can pick and/or avoid certain ones, that, to me, completely negates the idea of having a zine that most people can just pick up and read without issue.

Secondly, as I'm sure most people already know, ships are a primary source of conflict and motivator for harassment within fandom.

In terms of problems arising from including ships in a fanzine, I'm mainly worried about contributing artists/writers as well as the other admins getting harassed for content they did or didn't include within the zine. As someone who has not only seen utapri fan blogs run offline because of ship-based anon hate, but has also seen people ridiculed and kicked out of groups for not liking a popular ship, I would rather not risk exposing contributors and admins to that kind of toxic behavior.

When thinking about potential application methods for zine contributors, I realized that the traditional method - where people send in entries and these entries are reviewed/accepted/denied by an admin panel - may not be the best suited for a project that a) is supposed to be fun, not stressful and b) is looking for as many applicants as possible to hopefully be a success.

After brainstorming several alternative ways that applications could be handled, I decided the best possible way to choose one, would be to ask people who are interested in contributing to the zine how they would prefer to apply. After collecting the feedback, the most popular application method would be the one used for this zine.

The following are three different possible application methods. Each has a description of how it would work followed by a list of pros and cons for that method.

Method 1: First Come, First Serve

This method is very well-known, and very straightforward. Essentially, the list of available pages is posted at a specified time and date, and contributors would simply message the zine admins to claim whichever pages they want to contribute for. The first person to claim that particular page is the person who that page is allocated to.

Method 2: Random Chance

There are two variations of this method.

Application for Specific Pages: using this method, applicants would apply for specific pages at any point during the application period. Then, once the period has ended, the contributing artist/writer would be drawn at random for each page.

General Application: using this method, applicants would apply to the zine in general during the application period then, once the period has ended, the contributing writers/artists for all the pages would be drawn from the same pool. Applicants would be allowed to veto certain characters/sets/events and trade among each other if desired.

Method 3: Traditional Application

This is the method that’s most often used to manage and select applications for a zine.

An applicant would send in an entry form during the application period that contains, among other possible things, which pages they would like to apply for and an example of their work. At the end of the period, all entry forms are reviewed by the admins and the contributors for each page are decided by majority/unanimous vote. 

And that’s everything! Please consider filling out the feedback form if you have the time!

#utapri #utapri fanzine #uta no prince sama #concept pitch #SLfanzineV1 #looong post

[erinoddly]

Okay, I fumed about this some in the rant I just posted and then deleted, but let’s talk more about this specific issue:

English scholars and gatekeeping literature.

More specifically: Upholding outdated values of what makes a piece of literature ‘worthwhile,’ in this case specifically surrounding collegiate English communities. I’m aware that there are more than likely others outside of the college community who feel the same, but I’m going to talk about what I know.

Last semester in one of my classes, a debate started up. This debate was surrounding the following statement said by one of my classmates:

“Ebooks, self-publishing, and fanfiction are killing literature.”

At first, I thought that there was no way that statement would stand. I mean, it seems so outdated. But the thing was, only a couple of my classmates tried to argue against it. Almost everyone in the class agreed. And among those who did argue, the majority argued against the ebook point, one or two argued against the self-publishing point, and no one argued against the fanfiction point. I was the only person in my class who tried to argue against all three of the above points. And I’m pretty sure that the other people who argued against any of the points....weren’t English majors....

I became an English major thinking that people who studied literature did so because they had an appreciation for it. And I had always had this naive view of the world, where people would want the things they appreciate to be shared with a wide audience, not locked away where only a select few can enjoy it. I thought that this would be especially true for English majors, since so many of our discussions are about the roles and treatment of minorities in society, about classism, about equality.

But instead, I came across more people than I would have liked who seem to actively want to keep literature out of certain hands just because they have a list of criteria of what makes a piece of writing ~*worthwhile literature*~ and if it doesn’t hit every criteria, then it’s worthless and “killing literature” (and trust me, that phrase has me rolling my eyes so hard it hurts. Humans have always been storytellers and we always will be. Literature isn’t dying any time soon. Only your outdated ideals of what it ‘should’ be are.)

So. Let’s start with the idea that Ebooks are killing literature.

The classmate who said this works at a locally owned used bookstore. So I wholeheartedly understand the idea that online shopping is killing local businesses and that being able to buy books in an electronic format is making people less likely to buy physical copies, especially at smaller bookstores. That’s a valid fear that a lot of people have. And I’m not going to get into whether or not that’s factually correct because that isn’t the point (also I’m too lazy to find the research on it.)

The fact is, whether or not they’re killing small bookstores, ebooks make literature more accessible.

My mother has bad eyesight and needs a new prescription on her glasses. But she doesn’t have insurance and can’t get in to see an optometrist. But she absolutely adores reading. So guess what happened when I told her she could get the Kindle app for free on her computer? She lit up like a Christmas tree. It’s so much easier for her to read because 1. she doesn’t have to bend over a physical book and hurt her back and 2. she can make the font as large as she needs to in order to not strain her eyes. She also found books from her favorite authors that were electronic only. And yeah, there are a lot of ethical dilemmas about Amazon. I’m not saying there aren’t. But ebooks can be a better alternative for people with bad eyesight. And there are probably plenty of other disabilities that ebooks help with. Hell, I prefer ebooks sometimes because there’s so much more you can do with a computer interface that makes note taking, highlighting, bookmarking, using indexes, etc. so much easier than a physical copy of a book.

But, you know, it’s funny that my classmates (who are usually young and have decent eyesight) don’t complain about audiobooks killing literature as well. Even though a lot of them prefer listening over reading. But then again, a lot of them find the books they want to read for free on youtube and listen to them there instead of buying an audiobook. But I guess that’s okay.

This isn’t even bringing up the point that ebooks are less expensive than physical books. I grew up poor. To me, buying a new book is a luxury. So I get new books way less often than I would like to because I feel like I can’t justify the expense. I mean...upwards of $20-$30? For one book? But I can get ebooks online for $1-$5 sometimes. It’s so much easier to justify buying a new ebook every now and then than it is a physical book, though I still like to buy in person when I can.

Now the next point: Self-publishing

Okay. This one hits hard. My class was discussing this one as if the only authors who self-publish are the ones who were too awful to be accepted by traditional publishers. Which is bullshit. I’m not going to get much into this point because I’m writing this on a writeblr account and this community has talked a lot about traditional vs self publishing and I’m not going to rehash the same arguments.

But there are a couple of things I want to bring up.

Not everything that’s traditionally published is good literature. *cough*50shadesofgraygettingpickedupbyapublishingcompany*cough* And not everything that’s self-published is awful. One of my favorite series of all time was self-published. And sure, it’s got its flaws, but so does any piece of literature.

Getting published traditionally isn’t a matter of skill. You can be a great writer and never get picked up by a publisher if you’re not writing the right thing at the right time or if you’re not lucky or this or that or whatever. And there are some not so great authors who do get published.

And let’s be honest. The publishing industry is a complete mess in need of an overhaul right now. There have been at least two diversity scandals that I’ve heard of just within the last few months, one of which was making major headlines. And this definitely throws a wrench into the ‘getting traditionally published’ idea, especially for authors of color, LGBT authors, or authors that are trying to bring more diversity into mainstream literature. If you aren’t meeting a white man’s ideals of what diversity should be and are lucky enough to get picked to be their token diverse author of the year, you’re not going to get much in the way of marketing, if you’re even lucky enough to get published to begin with. But most of the diversity issues are around POC specifically and I feel like it isn’t my place as a white woman to talk about this any more than I already have.

And even with all this in mind, some people choose to self-publish over traditional publishing. It doesn’t automatically mean that they got rejected and took it upon themselves to share their masterpiece with the world despite the publishing industry telling them it’s a piece of shit, or whatever the gatekeepers think.

And the last point: Fanfiction

okay. listen. i’m done with this argument. we shouldn’t have to defend the existence of fanfiction. and I’m tired of arguing with people over whether or not it’s a literary genre or not. because it is. end of story. i’m not taking any criticism at this time, thank you.

It opens the door to new writers.

Some readers are more likely to read about characters they already know rather than trying to get to know brand new characters, but can also serve as a gateway to introducing to people to reading literature.

Some fanfics are written better than a lot of traditionally published literature than I’ve read.

Fanfic writers don’t even get paid, even when they crank out a fanfic longer than a novel. Like? What saints

It feels like, and I may be wrong but, fanfic writers tend to have more consistent one-on-one interaction with fans and those fans (no offense) in some cases tend to be...how do I say this....extremely entitled.

People have been writing fanfiction for who knows how long. It isn’t exactly new. But just as the internet is making it easier to access traditional literature, it’s making it easier to access fanfiction as well.

And a host of other things. FANFICTION IS NOT KILLING LITERATURE YOU PRETENTIOUS ASSHATS. YOU JUST WANT TO PRETEND THE ONLY FANFIC WRITERS ARE CRINGEY PRETEENS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE. And you know what?? So what if preteens are writing fanfic? That doesn’t mean it has no literary value. And it’s teaching them lessons and helping curate and improve their creative writing skills. It’s like you expect writers to just pop out of the womb with a quill in hand, a cigarette between their lips, twirling their fucking handlebar mustache as they discuss the value of metaphors in Paradise Lost with the doctor before writing a masterpiece as their family takes them home from the hospital for the first time.

TLDR; we can’t argue that something is ‘killing literature’ when literature isn’t dying. The medium is shifting with the times, just like everything else, while some people’s close-minded ideas of what constitutes ‘good’ or ‘worthwhile’ literature is stagnant. It’s irresponsible, as literary scholars, to gatekeep literature. All you’re doing, in the end, is shaming people out of reading in general, let alone reading what you believe are the correct things to read in the correct ways of reading them. You can’t argue the value of minorities, class differences, and diversity in literature and then also try and claim that only certain types of literature are allowed, when narrowing down those types blocks the very people you believe literature is supposed to uplift from accessing it.

#erin screams into the void #long post under read more #I...got kinda heated. I didn't expect this to get so long. #but you know what? I'm posting it anyway! #I did not write out a 1700+ word rant just to delete it #...holy shit i wrote a 1700 word rant on this....

[corpus-chorus]

A dev’s insight to tumblr’s updates

Alright guys. I’m sorry to make this long-ass discourse post when I’d really much rather just be doing my art reblogs and basking in my warm community, but I feel this needs to happen, because a lot of you may not be aware of what goes into updates like this.

To be clear - I’m not making any comment about the color change itself. It doesn’t actually bother me, seems kind of silly to flip a lid about when there’s plenty of extensions to fix it if you don’t like it, but I get the annoyance of having something familiar change into something that makes you uncomfortable, especially with no warning.

But then I started to see a bunch of rants on how shitty this update is when there were so many bugs that needed to be fixed instead, and I just need to take a moment to address app development in general, because y’all seem fairly misinformed about the whole thing.

So let’s get one thing straight - bug fixing is not easy.

Yeah, that sounds like a copout, doesn’t it?

But let’s talk about how bug fixing works, alright? Because there’s a couple of things we gotta look at when considering changes like this.

How much code is needed to fix the bug? Yeah, this one’s pretty straight forward, right? How many lines of code do the devs have to write to fix whatever’s broken? Except you’re forgetting the time it takes to find the bug in the first place. And this isn’t about popping into one file and looking through the lines until you see what’s broken. Bugs aren’t just typos. Bugs are NOT easy to find. Generally, if I’m working on a bug, and it takes me 4 days to fix, 3 of those days were probably spent just defining exactly where the bug came from and the places it exists. And that’s with me being super familiar with the codebase. If I didn’t already know that the core value displayed on the groupings page was coming from the hciReplacements inspector (out of 30-some inspectors), which is pulling data from the hagi, which is pulling and calculating data from the clip model, of which I know the exact layout, it probably would have taken me double or triple that time. And now, on top of that, what if the bug is an extreme edge case no one thought about when they built the core code? I might have to rewrite the entire functionality of the thing that pulls all that data, and holy hot hell is that gonna take some time.

How much QA effort is required? Contrary to popular belief, no, developers don’t just make bug fixes and immediately push them out to the app. It’s gotta be tested, usually by some sort of QA/QC team. And, fun fact, QA can take longer than the development did. Because the QA team is looking for EVERY POSSIBLE USE CASE of the exact thing you’re working on. Every single possible way a user might interact with that. That takes a skilled worker to think of all of those possible use cases (and spoiler alert, they’re human, so they still fuck up sometimes), and it takes them time to find them all.

But ON TOP of that, you also have a LOT of unexpected consequences to code changes. Maybe you just needed to update to cores count so that it’s the total cores on a node instead of total cores per processor, but you didn’t realize that another part of the code was assuming that value was cores per processor, and congrats, you’ve screwed the values all through the rest of the app.

And that’s just a data example. You can make critical errors if, say, you rename a value, and miss one of the places that value’s used, so now that value doesn’t exist in that specific scenario, and congratulations, you’ve actually caused your app to crash if the user follows a specific series of actions, and oops, looks like that set of actions wasn’t one QA thought of, so now users get to find it instead. You were just trying to fix a little data bug, and you’ve now broken the entire app. Good job.

How old is the codebase? Why is this important, you ask? Well, if you’re not in the industry, you may have never been introduced to the idea of “legacy code”. Legacy code is, to over-simplify, old code. It’s code that’s been around for a while. It’s code that dozens of people have had their hands in and is therefor a bit of a mess, no matter how hard you try to keep it clean, or how well organized your team is. Because maybe Eric built that one file really well to start with, and Suzy made some great additions to it, and Tom just made a few bug fixes, but he names variables a little differently, so Jason didn’t realize that the function he needed already existed when he went to build it a few months down the line, so now there’s two versions of the same thing, one used in one place, one used in another, and when Meredith goes to fix a bug related to it, she doesn’t realize she has to fix it both places, and wow, that is a bit of a mess, isn’t it?

The codebase I’m working in currently is about a year and a half old now, maybe a little more. When our first version was released, our codebase was 51,714 lines of code long. As of today, it is 357,932 lines long. With new features on the horizon, it will continue to grow, and the web of dependencies tangled through the codebase will get bigger and more complex. This is just a fact.

So keep in mind that that’s an app that’s about 1.5 years old. Tumblr was launched in, what, 2007 or something? That’s 11 years. 11 fucking years of coding, of dozens, if not hundreds, of people contributing to the codebase, in their own coding style, with their own knowledge levels. This is like if a team of 100 writers was working on a fic series for 11 years, and they didn’t all get to work together, and not everyone took notes. You’re gonna have plot holes. You’re gonna have inconsistencies. Shit’s gonna be messy.

And then there’s the pinnacle question. 

How much do the devs care? How much you wanna bet a lot of the devs on this site started out with a genuine passion for it? How many do you think worked long past the hours they were getting paid for just to make sure they were making something they could be proud of? How excited do you think it used to make them to release new features, and get to see it make people’s lives better?

When you care about a project, you think beyond the exact task you were given. You think about the impact every line of code you write is going to have. on the users. Because you want the users to enjoy the app. You want them to be happy with it. You want all the work you put into it to mean something.

When you care, you make less bugs. When you care, you don’t get lazy and just make temporary fixes. When you care, you put your heart and soul into your work.

How much heart and soul do you think the Tumblr devs want to put into this site at this point? When every single update, every single effort they put in, is met with criticism and hatred? When they’re told that nothing they do is ever good enough? How much do you think the devs care about getting everything perfect and on time and working themselves to tears on this site when they know damn well that the second they release an update, it’s going to be met with nothing but hatred and ignorant people treating them as if their hundred of hours of effort were stupid?

If I was a dev for this site, I’d hate my fucking job.

So let’s review. When you ask for bug fixes, I promise, there is someone on that team very concerned about addressing that bug fix. When you complain that tags are borked, or searching is shit, or whatever you get frustrated with that day, I promise, some dev is already working their tits off trying to find exactly what it’s going to take to fix that for you.

But understand that, that ask? That ask that might seem super simple and straight-forward to you from your comfortable couch? But it might take a team of devs working ungodly hours for months to be able to do. It might carry risks as high as accidentally deleting posts or banning blogs or breaking the entire bloody site. So they wanna spend some time and get that shit right so that you’re not stuck with something even worse than the bug they were fixing.

The people working on these bug fixes are human beings. We seem to remember that about everyone else in the goddamn world, but not the people who work tirelessly to give us the very site that we’re having these conversations on right now.

This update? Yeah, it might seem trivial to you. It might seem like they’re “wasting their time” with “stupid bullshit” when they could be fixing bugs.

But let me make it very clear. They’re trying to fix the bugs. They’re trying to stop the porn bots (and oh, fucking boy, I could make an entire post just about how insanely difficult that is, because some of you people seem to think the devs are fucking GODS or something). And maybe this update is stupid to you, but I can tell you right now, having this update right here is not the reason these things are not going to be fixed tomorrow. This is the frontend team making an aesthetic change - I promise it didn’t stop the backend team from their tireless work to fix the tags.

so tl;dr Fixing Tumblr’s bugs is not some simple, do-it-in-a-month, just-get-more-devs fix. And tearing into this release is doing nothing but reminding the probably very tired dev team that their work means absolutely dick to a large portion of ungrateful fucks on this site.

Complain about bugs. Tell Tumblr about their bugs. Make sure they know. And then sit the fuck down and wait - they’re fucking trying.

#i'm sorry #i know this is so long and obnoxious #please ignore it if you don't care #i just needed to get this shit off my chest #hopefully it's informative to some people #tumblr #tumblr update #tumblr discourse #tumblr blue #tumblr staff #long post #discourse

[ethereal-pluto-blog]

I feel like shit today

I'm lethargic, slow, crying, and insecure. So yep ~depression~ has come to rear its ugly head once again.

But since I'm not into the whole anti-recovery thing, I'll give you some useful tips on how to maybe help YOUR depression that doesn't seem like a generic twitter self help thread. (Though I'll mention some things I found helpful and give explainations as to why.)

Talk to your therapist/counselor/mental health expert if available. Not everyone has the luxury of seeking professional help, but if you have the opportunity, PLEASE go to a professional. However be noted that it's often an experience to go through many different experts to find the one that matches your specific needs/ you like the most. Also keep in mind there are also online therapists ready to help if you're not big on one-on-one contact like myself, though often insurance is tricky. I put this one first because it might be the most beneficial for some, though not readily available for others.

If you have the strength, shower. Showering/cleaning yourself is a blessing in itself as it gives you a sense of detox. Though if you don’t have the strength or motivation, try some of this instead-

Utilize facewash and lotion. Particularly facewash that makes your face feel all chill and tingly, it makes you feel more refreshed. Lotions and cream will help you keep skin smooth.

Simply get wet with water, a quick 5 minute rinse in hot water is less of a chore than a full shower.

Dry shampoo will help with hair oiliness. Though if you don't have access just brush your hair and pull it/part it so it's out of your face.

Baby wipes. Baby wipes will cure yo soul. But seriously use baby wipes and rub them on your face, underarms, and genitals. A good rub down will help prevent you from feeling gross.

Splashing your face with cold water, it makes your pores tighten up and as a bonus it'll wake you up.

Utilize deodorant and vaseline. I haven't tried it out for myself, though if you put down deodorant and then vaseline on top it should trap the nice fragrant smell. And while you're at it you can put on cologne / perfume if you think you're getting a lil ripe, but if you want to smell like a fresh shower use ones that are labeled "shower fresh" or "baby powder."

If your lips are chapped, put on some balm shisters. (I don't trust the brand chapstick, I'm a conspiracy theorist okay I'm soRRy)

Change into some cleaner clothes. They don't have to be normal everyday clothes but at least change into new clothes, especially underwear.

Clean your fingernails/toenails. Clean under them, since random junk can get stuck up in there. Also clip them if they're too long for your liking.

Brush your teeth. But if you can't, use mints, gum, mouthwash, mouthspray, etc, or a combination of those. Anything minty will make your mouth tingle and feel fresh and clean.

Clean yo ears! Since probably nobody uses an ear vacuum (like you're supposedly supposed to idk I'm too broke for that shit anyways) just be careful using Q-tips.

If you don’t have any deodorant, try hand sanitizer! I'm not kidding. Put a dollop under each underarm, and let dry. Smells are caused by bacteria, so if you get hand sanitizer, it should greatly reduce smell.

Try to get some sun. Using the natural sunlight will help you absorb vitamin D. So open up the blinds and photosynthesize binches. Though it also helps to open up the window if you can, a breeze/fresh air blowing in with the smell of outside might even raise your mood. Though if it's currently shitty weather outside, try turning on your lights to match your circadian rhythm, so keep lights on during the day and dim it at night so it'll help with letting you be on a decent sleep schedule.

Feeling like there's no hope or that your future is going to be shit? Highkey me too, but here's what I do to combat that feeling.

It's corny, but I write a whole idealized future for myself. I write about my dream job, I write about my dream s/o, I even imagine the type of house I want to live in, the kids I'll have, what kind of pets I want to own. Etc. Although the economy is shit and no future is guaranteed, it's nice to put some positivity into light and show what I really want in life. I don't want to be some millionaire, I just want to be comfortably well off with a family and people that love me. And in all honesty a future like that isn't hard to obtain.

Even if you can't imagine a good future for yourself, imagine being a part of your friends or loved one's futures. For example, you know your friend who's dating this really cute person that you totally ship them with? Imagine being a part of the bridesmaids/groomsmen for their wedding when they tie the knot! Imagine your really smart friend finally graduating from college and you're at their graduation party giving them a speech! For me this really helps since I aspire to be drinking buddies with my best friend's future husband. (I'm rlly goofy ik lmao)

Feeling stressed about not doing anything? We've all been there. Try:

Doing work if you're due for assignments, though don't do it alone, if you can, arrange a group text/tutoring session/Skype call. If everyone is focused on getting something done then you'll be motivated to do it with them.

Though if you don’t absolutely have to do anything but want to do ~s o m e t h i n g~ I also got your back on this too.

Organize your inbox for your email. (Ik I'm lame)

Tidy/clean your room/any room if that gives you something to do.

Make your bed.

Cuddle someone/something.

Rearranging your stuff in your room, makes it feel like a whole remodel tbh.

Burn candles/incense. Don't ask just...trust me on this it can change the aura.

If you're religious, practice!

Take aesthetic photos of things in your room. Download VSCO and experiment with it. I also recommend Huji Cam and Afterlight. All are available for IOS and Android.

If you appreciate music- use YouTube and find some Playlists, or if you can, spotify premium will save yo mortal soul.

Like video games? Play some! Or if you're a brokeass like me, let's plays and walk throughs work well too.

If you got pets, pet them. Do it. Snuggle. Or if you love animals in general go and watch some vids on YouTube.

Build a fort.

If you're an artist or appreciate art- draw! Or you can watch animatics, animation memes, art channels, or follow artists on here or on Instagram and Twitter if you want to be inspired, or just observe.

Have a certain series you keep putting off? Watch! It! Netflix/Hulu that shit. Or cable TV works too.

Go on Wikipedia and just go on an adventure. Click from link to link and see where it takes you. Learn some weird new facts!

Read a new book.

Read the news/watch the news.

Write about a certain topic that you're absolutely fascinated about.

Watch movies!

Join a club/interest group. You can do this online too and it'll help meet people with similar interests as you. You can make new friends this way.

Give your friends a call/text. Having conversations will keep you occupied.

Self love aka masturbate. Or have (safe) sex with someone you trust!

Workout

Do some makeup/skincare routine. Even if you think you look bad just commit to practicing.

Sometimes it's just funny to go through and read some Reddit threads so be safe when surfing on there.

Stretch and move around! Dance if you wanna!

Do your hair/experiment in some new styles, maybe even dye it if you feel daring.

Have an icon you stan? Stan HARDER.

Watch iconic vine/rare vine compilations until you can memorize them.

Clean out your phone contacts of people that are irrelevant/toxic!! Out of sight out of mind! Don't hang on to them if they did you wrong. All the text conversations will just make you feel worse!

Actually cook your favorite food, cooking it will make you more dedicated to eating it and give you more of an appreciation for it.

Organize your closet.

Organize anything in your room/closet. Throw away things that you don't need or are too old to use.

Start collecting things, stuffed animals, pins, snowglobes, you name it.

Pinterest is addictive lowkey so try that if you're into that kind of stuff.

Write! Write a new story, write poetry, write about your feelings, write a letter, write fanfiction, express yourself.

Use Duolingo to try and study a new language to learn. (The owl will harass tf outta your email though but as long as you do like 5 minutes a day he won't bother.)

That's about all I can think of but feel free to add more for activities to dedicate your time to.

If you need to, because of your self image, don't go and stand in front of mirrors. If I stand in front of a mirror too long I'll end up scrutinizing myself and find a flaw after flaw. If you are specifically insecure about something with your body, look up models who have the same thing! Like if you're insecure about having vitiligo, look up Winnie Harlow! She's gorgeous! If you're insecure about being chubby, look up plus sized models! If you have a tooth gap, there's plenty of people like you! You don't have to feel ugly because of that when you have these awesome models rocking what they got.

Vent. You can vent to your friends, family, or even online. There are apps that allow you to vent anonymously to others without the fear of judgement. But if you can't do that, take a pen/pencil and write something down in your notebook. Though don't reread it to keep drowning in the negativity, once you write it, shut it. You can do the same on Google Docs online, once you write down everything, delete it. Don't keep trying to fuel your negative thoughts and bitterness, get your rant over with and be done. It's like a fresh start. (Plus on my Instagram spam account I always feel really silly looking at my old rant posts, so I usually delete stuff afterwards when I'm not feeling so in my feelings).

Don't expect recovery to be in a straight line. You'll have amazing days and also have extremely shitty days. Recovery isn't hoping to never experience shitty days, recovery is being able to feel the strength on those shitty days and know that they'll pass, and with each storm you'll be stronger than before. Don't push yourself to be flawless, because shit happens. But you'll make it through. And that's what matters.

And last but not least, seek emergency help if you feel like you're dangerously close to ending your life due to pain. Call the suicide hotline for support, because the pain can ease soon if you ask for the help that you need and deserve.

Not everyone that reads this is going to be like "wow this really helped me cope with my depression/mental illness!" But my goal was to at least try. It may not work for everyone unfortunately, but I hope that anyone dealing with a mental illness is on the road to recovering. Because I know how it feels. It feels sucky as fuck. But if this helps even just one person, then that's enough. I hope everyone has at least a decent day, and I hope that everyone's pain eases soon.

#depression #mental health #mental disorder #positive mental attitude #mentally ill #trigger warning #tw #anxitey #strategies & tips #tips #self love #self care #personal growth and development #road to recovery #recovery #remission #illness #i love you